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its-me-im-coraline · 3 years ago

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A tie between us and some hope // E.T.

words // 1505

warnings // a little bit of angst but overall fluff

pairing // Ethan Torchio x GN!Reader

author's note // if you want to be on the tag list let me know. ooof im really feeling like a mess today i hope it does not show on this one, i thought i'd feel better than yesterday but my mental state is worse todays... anyway, my oversharing ends here, i hope you enjoy this lovies!! oh also, i am using some epithets (lol) in italian with the endings in -o because i can not for the love of me find specifically gn pet names on the internet or im just bad at looking but i am tired of only ever using 'amore' lol.

request // yes through a reblog so i will not link it right now

summary // Part three of Secrets and fights and Torna a casa. After Ethan showed up in readers house that night the two have started trying to work on being together again. But there are always new problems to arise.

After that night passed, when Ethan had found himself on his love’s doorstep things started looking up. The man started being more consistent in taking care of himself, finally feeling like his able to breathe, like things were taking their rightful place again. He kept himself and his space put together, finding himself far out of the rut he was put into after the short-lived breakup.

Although things seemed to be better, nothing was yet back to how it was between him and Y/N. The two found themselves constantly around each other, be it little dates around the city- not caring about paparazzi at this point, other times just staying in and cuddling while watching a movie, or even going on a walk some nights, smoking and joking while talking about the deepest and shallowest things the pair could think of. It felt as if the intimacy that was previously been built had not gone away, it was still there, strong as ever, the trust being hard to be built again.

“Goodmorning, dolcesso,” uttered the man, a soft smile on his face as he walked through the open door, a bag of fresh pastries in his hands, the refreshing smell of coffee embracing his presence in the small home.

Y/N, barely awake, but always with a deep love for the pastries Ethan picked up, moved towards him, taking the bag from his hands, humming in appreciation as they opened it, looking at today’s picks. “These smell wonderful, Ethan,” they mumbled before taking a bite from the first one they found.

He smiled a bit, looking at the person before him, mumbling a quiet response. “I always pick the best ones for you, beautiful.”

If it was possible to fall in love with a person again, then Ethan was definitely living that moment when Y/N gave him the stupidest and most childish smile, a spark in their eyes he missed while they were awake.

How could I have said those things to them, he thought while looking at said person enjoying their breakfast standing in front of the small kitchen and admiring the minimal city view. It was not much but it surely was something they enjoyed watching in the mornings or as the sun set. No matter how bad it would imprint on the photos they took, it was a breathtaking view they never got enough of.

Just another thing Ethan loved about them, finding such beauty in something so seemingly insignificant. He loved looking at them in moments like that, knowing how much in a trance they were, too deep in the beauty their eyes took in to say anything. Before the man could stop himself he utter the same three words from a few nights ago, “I love you”.

Y/N’s eyes widened, the information was not new but they did not expect this to be brought up again any time soon. “Ethan - I-I, uh-”

“You don’t have to say it back, cucciolo. I know how I feel, I am very sure of that. You don’t have to be there yet, you don’t have to say it… Not after what I said.”

They took a deep breath at that, one they had not realized they held back, still feeling guilty about their inability to simply say words. It is not that they did not feel it, was it?

It was not the last time this would happen. Only a few nights later, a similar incident occurred, Ethan admiring the person he is in love with, their eyes focused on their book, or at least trying to in the dark light they found themselves, a cigarette alternating from their lips to the ashtray on their side, looking like the perfect view at the side of the beach. Considering how hot the weather had been, the pair and their friends agreed on a field trip, the idea being they would either camp there that night or book a hotel room last minute. No one was going to drive that night, no one had to worry about having some alcohol in their system, so beers were a big thing around them, being passed back and forth.

“Hey, Y/N, do you want a beer?” Asked Victoria, getting up to pick one for her self, the other person nodding before she gave them their beer.

“I’d ask you as well Ethan, but seems you are too drunk on Y/N to drink any more beer,” she commented bringing forth a heatwave to happen on Y/N’s face and causing a big grin to cover the drummer’s face.

“What can I say? Can’t hide that I love them, can I?” Everyone laughed it off, Y/N included, but they felt slightly uncomfortable at the man’s words.

They had thought about it last time Ethan brought his feelings forth, knowing very well how they felt the same. They simply could not bring themselves to say it back. Maybe it had something to do with their life before him, and they would have a hard time saying it anyway, or maybe it had something to do with the loss of trust in the man after the pictures of the two kissing. Did he really love them if he was willing to say those things.

“Stop worrying so much about it, amore,” whispered Ethan, noticing Y/N’s state. “I told you, you don’t have to say it back, every one takes a different amount of time to do that.”

His tone and expression were reassuring but they knew this was hurting him a lot on the inside. So they apologized, looking down, ashamed, unsure… The whole situation created a whirlwind in their mind they could not control at the moment, instead opting for jumping into the cold water of the sea beside them, being sure that a bit of swimming would clear up their thoughts.

The same incident happened a few more times, Ethan never being able to contain his words, justifying it by saying how “I am simply trying to remind you that I meant what I said that night”. But Y/N was feeling pressured, as if the man was giving them a timeline, a reminder that they need to decide or it will be to late. One night, they could not take it any more, so they simply confronted him about it. He had just said it again, thankfully they were alone this time, meaning they could say all that they wanted.

“Why do you keep saying that, Ethan?”

“What do you even mean by that, Y/N?” He was simply taken aback, expecting everything but such anger after mentioning how he loves them.

“You keep saying how you love me, and you simply remind me of it, but man does it feel like you are trying to pry these words out of my mouth.”

“I would never do that and you know it!” Now the man was getting fed up as well. How could they accuse him of such thing?!

“Do I, Ethan? Do you even truly love me?”

“Wha- of course I do! What is this? Where is this coming from?”

“Did you love me when the photos of us came to the public?” They asked, voice now quiet, a contrast to their previous tone.

“What are you talking about amore, of course I did,” he responded just as softly, placing the palm of his hand over their face, swiftly collecting the few tears falling from their eyes. “Why are you crying, my love? What are you thinking?”

Y/N could not take it any more, they broke down in seconds, falling into Ethan’s open arms, soft sobs leaving their lips. “You- you said all those things that morning, a-and,” they hiccuped, “I-I am scared, Ethan…”

Their eyes were cast to the floor but Ethan could still see all the thoughts behind them. He finally realized what was happening, so he placed a kiss on their forehead, prompting them to finish their thought. “Could you really say those things if you loved me?” They whispered, moving away from the tall Italian, eyes cast to the floor and ever meeting his.

“Hey, hey look at me! What I said that morning came from a place of anxiety, overwhelming one at that. It does not mean it’s ok that I said that, of course not. But never doubt how much I love you, Y/N.” He paused for a second, his voice trembling as the words came out.

“Cause I do, and I did, but I could not control my emotions, instead I ended hurting yours. I don’t how many times I’ve apologized, but I will apologize that many more. I am sorry, sorry I made you feel so horrible, sorry for all the things I said, sorry for everything.” He said just as softly as before, hands cupping their face before leaving a deep kiss there.

“I love you,” finally said Y/N, feeling more sure and secure than they have for a while.

tag list: @bieberhoodforever @tabi-toast @ginny-lily @moriro-da-regina @the-killer-queenie @makapaka11

#maneskin imagine #maneskin fanfiction #maneskin #måneskin #ethan torchio imagine #ethan torchio

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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

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Song: Drivers License by Olivia Rodrigo

Pairings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 8k

A/N: wow im so thankful for those who waited this long for the sequel so here it is, i really hope you guys like this one and im semi sorry for the pain, but thank u!

“I can’t find her, Oikawa!” Iwaizumi shouts with his voice trembling in secret, hands gripping each side of the steering wheel, feeling his heart race faster than his own engine. He couldn’t bear to watch the weary eyes of the person beside him. Deep down he knew it had something to do with his sudden presence. There’s no possible way that when everything has been going amazing for the both of you, it all turns into dust with the quick change of events.

Because of him.

He should’ve known that the arrival of Oikawa would bring you back to rock bottom and him along with it but even if he seemed prepared for the upcoming events- the impact of how painful it was never lessened.

What if you knew?

What if you knew that you were soon to be off his hands and return to Oikawa’s instead?

Imagining you with a suitcase in hand, watching you drag it as you walked beside Tooru to say goodbye to him while you both leave for Argentina is a sight that could make his now healed heart return to the shreds that it was when his best friend called him to tell him about his plans of bringing you back. It may have been a few days after that agonizing call but his heart has never been more content to see you smiling. You were both patching each other's missing pieces and even created new and better ones, replacing the sharp bits that deserved it.

But the boy who thought he could return it to its proper condition— ended up tearing them apart.

Tooru struggles to stay put in his seat. His heart held the same pace as Iwaizumis, maybe even faster. He visualized his coming home would’ve been better than this. Sure, he didn’t expect it to be a happy moment. He knew the different emotions you could portray once you see him and he prepares himself for the tears and the punches you’d throw knowing very well it was something he deserved.

He just wishes he didn’t have to see you tucked away in Hajimes’ arms.

But with Himari, he could expect something worse than that.

Oikawa looks over to Himari who bit her fingers, anxious on whatever was going on. He could sense the way Iwaizumi’s posture tensed up when they got in his car, though he might have mentioned what his intentions were, he felt like he still needed to repeat it to make him stop his doubts. The setter has mentioned Hirami to Iwaizumi through the call but there was still the threatening silence that surrounds you three.

“Please before you think or say anything else, we’re not in a relationship. Fuck, I would never do that to her and you know that.”

No matter what Oikawa said, there isn’t an ounce of ease that falls on Iwaizumi. The ace knows how your tears fell for the blonde. How you managed to doubt every feature of yours and replace them thinking that she was the version of perfection you wanted to obtain. You weren’t close to perfect but in the eye of the two players— you were certainly close to it. Himari may have been the ideal you looked for but Iwaizumi stood behind to make sure you never question yourself again. Witnessing how you cried for her, he just can’t stand acting like an acquaintance to the girl who you thought was Oikawa’s new lover.

But there she was, seated at the back with her thoughts running to where you were.

Himari finally sees the importance of coming back to Japan within the minutes of being seated in the vehicle. It had been months since she met the setter and not a day passes where she could see the loneliness in his eyes but there were subtle hints of joy in his voice. Seeing him get excited about arranging the apartment, even asking her if the area was close to some locations where they could relax, had her wondering just how you were stuck in his heart.

At a certain moment, she enters the apartment Oikawa planned for the two of you to see him in the room clutched tightly on a pillow with tears in his eyes. It was the first time the apartment had been officially his and the first night he spent it with his usual choice of emotion— regret. She came in such a wrong time. Instead of being able to congratulate him in settling down in Argentina, she managed to sympathize with him instead. Then it began— the stories, the confessions, you. Everything that escaped his mouth that night all consisted of sentences dedicated to tell her how much of a mark you left on his life.

With the stories he told, she was excited to meet you. She wanted to hug you if you’d let her because she too was abandoned by a lover with another woman. She didn’t side with Oikawa when she found out that he was the reason, he received a smack to the head when she heard. It shouldn’t circle in her mind knowing you two were strangers but she never wanted anyone to go through the pain that she had passed. To think that Oikawa spoke so often of you yet he was the one to let your relationship part like he wanted to do, felt too ironic to believe.

So, she helped him. Remembering what she went through for her past half, she couldn’t handle seeing another pair withstand it. Especially when there was a chance to save it.

But the blind eye and weakened mindset is to blame for the misunderstanding.

“I’m sorry but do you think she’s just back at his apartment?” Himari asks but Iwaizumi shakes his head. He knew you too well. You always promised that if you were to leave, you’d always come back before 11pm because he’d never sleep properly if you were out of his sight. It was way pass 10 and he left the apartment at 9:40pm to meet with Oikawa, needing his assistance in finding you. Now it’s 10:17 and he’s yet to receive any messages from you which fed his anxiety.

He wanted to find you by himself but he knew how much Oikawa was begging the sky for you to meet with him again.

So, for the hundredth time, he forgets what his heart desired for him to do.

“There’s no way. Y/N should’ve been back now- fuck Oikawa what if she saw you?” Iwaizumi asks, his grip tightening more at the thought. The setter fiddled with his hands as the ace felt the weight of his worries. It was the worst thing that could happen but it became real without their acknowledgement.

With the possibility ringing in their heads, Oikawa steps into your shoes as he feels just how shattered your heart could’ve been if you saw him. Barely any time to explain himself or even get to be near you after a year of being away from you had his emotions tangled in knots but he needed to find a way to tame his and Iwaizumi’s fears.

“Hajime, calm down.” Oikawa tries— or at least begs him to do. It’s seen how his breaths weren’t under control and his usual composed figure was trembling with panic. If Iwaizumi fails to keep his mind straight, they’d be prone to danger.

“I can’t- you don’t understand!” He shouts as Tooru was taken aback by it, later his fists form a ball as he began to feel how unfair everything’s been. Hajime was underestimating Oikawa too much to the point that it looks like he wasn’t nearly as concerned.

“I don’t understand? I haven’t seen her in a fucking year and now she’s possibly missing and you don’t think I’m not losing my goddamn mind?” Oikawa argues back while Iwaizumi scoffs.

“Why didn’t you visit her then? Don’t tell me you weren’t ready while Y/N was ready to come back to you the moment you left!”

Again, he was dumbfounded.

He could never win against what was true.

He truly wasn’t. Booking a flight and packing was the easiest part there is but the words that ran through his mind weren’t sure if he’d ever voice it out. The confrontation, to see you so broken because of him? Who can be ready for such a thing?

He left without goodbyes, it’s a crime to come back and act like it didn’t happen.

Yet what he’s been so at rage at was the fact that you found sanctuary in Iwaizumis’ arms instead of his.

“You’re acting like you don’t fucking love her too!”

The way Oikawa’s voice echoed through the car made Iwaizumi’s heartbeat way louder than he expected.

He was trapped, wasn’t he?

Iwaizumi deeply let’s his decision sit in his mind before his mouth could release it from him. Would a scoff mirror his denial? Averting the topic would lead to the same impression but if he agrees- that draws a line for years long of friendship between him and Oikawa. Covering a lie is better than whole heartedly admitting how he’s grown attached to you, while the man who left you was still in love with you like he was. Trying to lie to himself and allowing the denial stick with him was a situation he’d never be able to escape.

The first time he’s ever loved someone turns into a war—battling with his morals and the person who’s fought by his side throughout the years.

But what would be the prize if he won?

“I know where she could be.” Oikawa suggests, his voice holding calmness but his mind let Iwaizumi’s silence in his previous comment rest in his mind. He couldn’t look at him because he understood why his own best friend would fall for you. He wasn’t oblivious to the time it took him to answer, or even how his eyes widened like a deer in headlights. He knew either way. The moment where Iwaizumi moved in with you- it was bound to happen because loving you is something that both boys will do until one of them bends a knee, even if one of them fails to be the first to do so.

“How are you sure she’d be there?” The young trainer asks as Oikawa sighs sadly when he reminisces to the time where he had met you on a little park on the way home. He figured that the way you looked that night was the same reaction you’d have if you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” Tooru asks, a curious yet worried tone in his voice. He watches you lift your head from your hands to look at him before tensing up when you realized who was standing in front of you. You quickly wiped your eyes as your stare remains anywhere but where he was.

“It’s nothing.” You whispered as he shakes his head before taking the seat next to you, looking at you while he wonders on how he can help even if he had no business to.

“You’d kill me if I say that your acting is a 5/10.” He jokes while you rolled your eyes, not needing the teases but what held you back from being arrogant was that you could feel how he wanted to stay with you.

“Whatever problem that is- I’m here if you ever need me.” Tooru says, his voice lowering showing how sincere he was with his words. Carrying burden on your shoulders isn’t to be face when you’re all alone so he was willing to take some of the heaviness if you let him.

“Thanks, Oikawa.” You said, looking at him with gratitude. He smiles before standing up with a hand extended for you to take while you stare at him with confusion.

“Tooru. It’s better that way.” He says while you smile fondly taking his hand while you stand up, taking the spot beside him.

You were thankful that he didn’t bother to ask what caused this breakdown and he chose to let his presence do the comfort you really needed.

“What’s your favorite food?” You look at him with an eyebrow raised as he waits for your answer. With the endless choices you had to pick one— which was a struggle but you had to respond.

“It’s F/F.”

“Then I’ll take you to the place that serves the best of it.”

He shakes his head before looking at Iwaizumi while the other boy sighs, choosing to trust Oikawa. He was in another realization that there were still missing parts of your relationship that you haven’t told him and it makes him feel like a cast away but he had no other option.

“We have to try and go to that location.” Himari suggests making Hajime sigh knowing trying is the only way to lead you back to him. He gestures for Oikawa to tell him the where while he listens intently on the details. Finding himself familiar with the place, he sighs in relief when he realizes it was a place located near the path you’d take home in your high school days.

But why was he nervous?

Every part of him was aching with anxiety even if he trusted Oikawa. Tooru knows more about you than Iwaizumi but the ace felt as if he was too close to finally knowing you the way the captain did. He was close to landing a soft spot in your heart- perhaps he’s already earned it but there’s still that worry that even if he tries, it wouldn’t alter.

What if he sees you all bruised up? What if your clothes were ripped and how could he continue to act like it wasn’t his fault he let you wander alone? Though he feels like you’d scold him when you find out he’s laid the blame upon himself.

He just thinks about how he wanted things to be different from the way it was now.

Iwaizumi believed Oikawa, he truly did yet there was a sickening voice in his mind that badly wanted the false accusation to be true but this selfishness was put aside when he knew that this was something you wished the gods for.

He swallows it hard. The truth that was meant to break no matter the circumstance.

He may be someone you needed but Oikawa was and always will come before him.

“Moving in with her? How easy do you think this will be?” Iwaizumi asks, his phone held tightly in his hands while Oikawa bites his lip, thinking of ways to make sure he can convince his best friend to help him.

“I’ve set everything. I just need you to help me out on this one.” Oikawa begs while Iwaizumi lets out a scoff followed by his eyes rolling at the dismay. It’s unbelievable how the setter thinks making you agree to this crazy idea was going to be a breeze- a walk in the park even. Imagining you just willingly accepting this offer with bags packed and little to no fighting- it seems like a different version of you. Iwaizumi knew that you deeply missed Oikawa but it didn’t mean you were always ready to face him. He’s seen instances where you’ve mistaken a man to be Tooru but your initial choice is to hold onto the ace and hid behind him. He feels how tense your grip was, probably in fear that Oikawa was there and that made him realize that you’ve yet to gather the confidence to meet him.

“I’ll be home soon and I know it’s going to be difficult but... please Iwa.”

“Do you think this is what she wants?” Hajime asks, wishing that his answer wasn’t what he was expecting. He knows how Oikawa’s efforts will be nothing if he lets all of this go but then again, this was too absurd to happen without fail.

And Iwaizumi can’t bear to let you go this quick.

“I love her, Hajime. This is what we’ve always wanted to do— be with each other. Now, I know I fucked up and this may not be the best decision but if I let her walk away again then who am I to say that I love her in the first place?”

“The problem is that you walked away first, Oikawa. Do you think I’d like to see her be in the same amount of fucking pain you gave her throughout the year? I’m not letting her move in with you when not even half of your problems are fucking solved,” he pauses trying to catch his breath but then there it was— the selflessness that he didn’t want to appear because you can’t be selfish when you're not even his to begin with.

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

“Take a turn here.” Oikawa directs as Hajime follows suit. Upon seeing the familiar street, he relaxes a little. Tooru then steps out just as Iwaizumi turns off the engine.

“I’ll check first.” the boy declares while Iwaizumi sighs, leaning on the seat. Himari wonders if she should follow him, not that it bothered her to stay behind, but seeing Oikawa in a rush with a hazy mind doesn’t mean he’d be able to calm down. Iwaizumi could feel her worry so he speaks.

“You can go but if you get lost, message me.”

Himari stays still for a second. It occurs to her they haven’t shared a single conversation and the nerves of intimidation shows itself. The moment she entered the car, she knew there was something more than just tension. Talking to him like there wasn’t that field of uneasiness was difficult.

Because she knows that he loves you too.

“Thank you but can I ask you something?” she asks while Iwaizumi shifts his body to look at her and pay some mind to what she’s going to say.

“Is she mad at me?”

The boy was more than surprised to hear it from her.

“I have a feeling she knows or if she doesn’t, I don’t want to be looked as the girl who took the person she loves.” She confesses softly while Iwaizumi remained silent letting the words sink in his mind. The blonde smiles at him fondly realizing that her outburst completely left him stunned.

“I like Y/N. Whether you believe me or not, Oikawa talks about her too much and I would love to get the chance to see her without rivalry. I just feel like—with the idea of me and that dumbass being together for a year, it really doesn’t sound comforting to think of.”

“You will meet but I can’t lie and say that you didn’t leave an impression on her.” Iwaizumi says, the past tension disappearing when he realizes that she really wasn’t what the photo made her to be. He wishes he could tell you just how much of a person Himari was other than the girl you’d want to be.

The girl sighs but accepts it knowing it wasn’t alien to her to understand what you could possibly feel.

“Guess I’ll be finding that asshole for a while.” She says and Iwaizumi nods but there was a question that he let pass his mouth.

“How come you like her that much?”

Himari smiles as she stares at the sky before looking back at the boy left in the car.

“She reminds me of my girlfriend.”

With that sentence and the ace’s jaw to the floor of a reaction, she lets out a laugh before opening the door and exiting the vehicle and an obviously flustered Iwaizumi.

“Y/N?” Oikawa calls out for the seventh time as he stands still for a second, his legs burning from running in circles. He pants but he decides that there was no other option but to keep going.

Anything that it takes to love you more than he ever could.

“You and me, right?”

“Come back to me.” He whispers, resembling you last year with one of your desperate attempts in his voice messages.

Then the tears formed while his energy was deafening.

“I’m so sorry.” He mutters, hiding his face in his hands as he lets the guilt him harder than it did compared to Argentina. You were here— a location away and he was growing more and more scared at the thought if you out this without a trace of evidence that you were safe though that issue was one of his biggest concerns but what follows it is that the hope that he gathered was dying.

“Are you?”

Just as his eyes landed on your distant figure, his legs were glued to the floor.

Move! Fuck- I need to hold her but why can’t I move?

“Oikawa.” You called out to him, to confirm that your tears weren’t mistaking him for another person. You heard him but perhaps you needed more than just that. This is Oikawa. The person you’ve waited for, cried for, loved for how many years, yet both of your feet didn’t bother to step forward.

Were you waiting for someone else?

“Y/N.” Then his feet gave in, leading them to you as well as a pair of arms whose waited nothing else then to feel this sensation again. He buries his face in your shoulder, tears dampening your shirt as he held you tightly with his sobs resonating in your ear but your arms never reacted to him.

But you broke down as well.

You couldn’t believe it. He was here, embracing you with every ounce of love he gives you but you stood there like your heart didn’t endlessly wail for him but numbness seems to have sided with victory this time.

At the time where you needed to speak, the words that you wished served as an embrace transformed into a weapon.

“Tooru, I need you to let go.” you whispered softly while he shook his head, sobbing harder when he ponders on the fear that holds him down. Was this the last time? The everlasting moment where he could show you his regret while he begs you to continue an ever after with him?

Was he just meant to circle the world without you?

“If I move to a certain place, will you follow me?” He asks as his hands continues to caress your cheek while you smiled at him, before letting your own hand run through his brown locks. He closes his eyes before wrapping his arms around your waist, his slow breaths calming you both noticing how exhausted he was.

“Anywhere you go, as long as I’m with you, I’ll follow.”

“You promise?” he whispers, not letting his eyes open as he lets his imagination take him to countries that the both of you could visit and a tiny smile falls on his face when he realizes that he’d be able to travel around the world with a person who he’ll be seeing at the end of the altar.

“Of course, Tooru.”

When he meant that it’d always be you and him, it was partially true.

But the saying didn’t mean you’d always be together.

So, it’s always you and him- against each other's heart since the world you promised each other has faded.

“Y/N, if I let you go, are you going to return?”

“I held on, didn’t I? What’s there to return to, Oikawa?”

“I’m so sorry.” But what he does next strikes a heavy hit to your heart as he lands on his knees, with his hands covering his face as he cries when he knew that an apology was the least cure that there is to mend an unfixable heart.

“Oikawa, stand up.” he shakes his head as he began to continuously apologize but all you wanted was to let the silence consume him. You hated this. You knew Oikawa was in pain too but seeing him in the same position you were in made your heart sting at how he cried in front of you when you knew he hated that you could see him like this.

“Babe? Hey- Tooru? I’m right here.” You asked him as you rushed to his side while he wipes his eyes immediately before putting on a smile as you hand him his towel, patting it down on his forehead. He looks at you as his eyes gather another batch of tears when he sees how worried you looked.

He hates it when you see him cry.

Though he doesn’t mind being vulnerable, this was a side of him that stayed at rock-bottom and the efforts he made to come back at the top had been attempts that made him stay longer.

After patting his sweat, you looked at him as he was shaking at the mix of emotions of the outcome of the match with Shiratorizawa. He avoids eye contact with you as his tears fell on the gym floor.

“Tooru.” you whispered as you cup his cheeks taking him by surprise as he stares at your loving eyes while you send him a smile, catching the tears that were streaming down. He leans into your touch and maybe his efforts of trying to leave rock-bottom weren’t all wasted.

Especially, when your hand was ready for him to take just as the bottom of the pit began to win him over.

“I love you.” It was only three words that could’ve carried more but to Oikawa, it was all he wanted to hear because you love for him spoke more than just those three. You meant it in every way that he can understand.

Because with a simple confession of love, it was already enough to lead the defeat away from him.

“And I love you more.”

You crouch down as you tried to make him stand up but instead, he remained on the floor making you cry even more when you realized he leaned his weight on his bad knee, making you look away and choosing to hold his arm in order to hoist him up as you wept for him.

“Oikawa stand up!” You yelled but he looked up to see the endless flow of your tears as he shakes his head, disobeying your orders while your heart crumbles when he reaches his hand to your cheek, holding it fragilely as he stares at you with the same amount of pain you held in front of him.

When million words were needed, the silence chose to speak for itself.

Don’t you love me anymore? Oikawa thinks as he continues to watch the love of his life fall under the solitude he caused.

I love you with everything I have, but what can guarantee that it’s enough for me to stay when the pain is twice as the amount?

“Why are you here, Tooru?” You asked him as he uses his finger to wipe away the tear that was bound to fall, as a sad smile tugs on his lips.

“I’m here for you, Y/N. Only you.” Oikawa answers as he averts his eyes to the ground while your hands form into a fist because you already accepted the fact that he belonged to someone else, even if it made you throw away the memories in his car just to face the harsh reality.

Besides, the street lights didn’t lead you to him anymore.

“Stop lying to me. It shouldn’t be me anymore.” He lets his blurry eyes portray the betrayal that pulsated through his body as he repeatedly shakes head, refusing to believe that those words came from you. He didn’t fly here to confuse himself with his priorities. You were the only reason- hearing you say that you were the least of his intentions had him wondering the depths of his mistakes.

“It’s always been you and no one else! I came back for you- to fix this- us, Y/N! I-I'm so sorry!”

“IS THAT ALL YOU’RE GONNA SAY TO ME?”

The volume of your voice startled him when he sees your hand clutching tightly on your shirt as you stood up and the apple of your cheeks colored in frustration.

“Am I ever going to get an explanation on why the person that I loved left me without goodbye? Am I just going to hear you apologize for hours and not a single answer is given to me? Oikawa- I waited- I want to forgive you so fucking badly but I’m expecting more than an apology without you telling me why you did it!” You didn’t mean to raise your voice to such an extent but the answer you waited for a year was yet to be given a response.

Hearing his pleas brought an emotion you weren’t familiar with. You expected that he would apologize but at first you didn’t know why it gave you disappointment instead of satisfaction. Surely, you wanted to hear it- let it replay in your ears for as long as you wished but that wasn’t enough to patch up a heart that’s been through more than just a slice in the middle.

“And why did it have to be the last time that we were happy?” You asked him with your voice purely showing the torment you go through when you remember the last night that scarred your emotions. How was he able to leave after a night of serenity? Were his laughs all a cover up his plan of leaving you as fast as he could?

“Please answer me, Tooru.” You begged but it came as a whisper when you aggressively wiped your eyes that were exhausted and tempted to close.

Oikawa bites his lip but takes a deep breath before letting his words decide the outcome.

“I lost grip on what I wanted to do. After that match- and all of the things that I couldn’t stop thinking about- everything was messy. An escape and a way to find that passion again were my options to get this sick feeling over.”

“But I was never in those options, wasn’t I?” he grips the fabric of his sweats beside him as he avoids your glistening eyes knowing how agonizing it was to hear it from him that you had been pushed to the dark corners of his mind like a forgotten idea.

“Are you sure, honey? This is unlikely of you to be spontaneous in this way.” his mother comments, her hand falling on top of her sons' hand. Oikawa smiles at her softly, sending a nod to his father as well. He knew his family was going to supportive no matter what, he was a star after all but he knew they were worried about him. A country with immense culture that he’s yet to learn about is a whole other experience but he felt as if it was the decision that could hold all the victories he wanted to earn.

“What about Y/N? Why don’t you take her with you? School is finished and it’d be a great step for you two as a couple, Tooru.” He sighs heavily, placing his hands on his lap as he lets the question wonder over this head.

“I’ll figure it out.”

“Y/N-”

“And I guess contacting me wasn’t a good idea either?” You continued, the flare of rage igniting more as all of the excuses you made for yourself for his indecency have been made clear that it was his choice in leaving you in the past.

“How could you! You- fuck Oikawa!” You shouted as you felt your body shrivel with the anger as he tries to hold you but you pushed him away as the nearby stop lights painted the night a shade of red that resembled equal parts of anger and love.

“What was that for?” You asked him with a giggle as he smothers your hand with gentle pecks. During a red light, it became a habit for him to show you affection while you wait for it to turn green. You always drove late together so when the streets weren’t occupied, his voice would echo through the air when he shouts your name with a declaration of how much he loves you, or sometimes he’d steal kisses catching you off guard like he’s doing now.

“Well, it’s obvious that you didn’t complain babe.” He teases as you lean closer, giving him a subtle kiss on his temple making him blush instantly. He smiles at you before taking your hand and landing a peck to your ring finger as your heartbeat picks up an irregular pattern while the light turns green, his brown eyes leaving yours.

“Now, what about that?” You asked him while he fixates his focus on the road ahead but his dream with you causes him to smile like the lovesick fool that he was.

“In case I couldn’t do it in the future.”

“Fuck you for leaving and acting like I wasn’t here! You and your girl-”

“Oikawa?”

When your eyes landed on a familiar blonde, the chances of saying those three words once again began to disappear.

“Y/N?”

And with the sound of her voice, everything became blurry when you remember the way she looked next to him with a smile.

“I’m Himari.” she introduces herself while taking cautious of her words when she sees the drop in your features. She hesitates to take a step forward knowing the mind who misunderstood was sharper than hers.

“And you brought your girlfriend.” you said with another sigh of exhaustion and when Himari hears this sentence she immediately knew what impression she had left from Iwaizumi’s words. She takes a step forward making you lower your head, not wanting to be near the person who was the main focus of Oikawa for a year but there wasn’t an ounce of spite that was directed to her.

“Y/N, we’re not dating.” Oikawa assures you, mimicking Himari’s actions, hoping that he could hold onto your hand and change your mind which he knew it was a little too late when his conversation with his best friend resonates through his ears.

“What do you think? She’s fucking crying again.”

“We are not dating, I promise. I helped him for you to settle in Argentina.”

Argentina?

“Oikawa- what does she mean I’ll be settling?”

The silence on the side opposite to you has never been louder. Oikawa and Himari share a look while you stood there with more than confusion that was mixing in your range of emotions. Your eyes dart between him and the girl while the beats of their heart began to speed up, not because of their own panic, but for you. Himari then awakens from the absurd idea she was brought into. Being in this tense atmosphere, she knew it was the wrong move all along but it seems to strike her more when she sees the way the flow of your tears didn’t alter.

“Tooru, answer me.”

“He didn’t tell you.” Oikawa says making Himari groan and before she could approach you, she sees a figure running your way.

“Y/N!” Iwaizumi shouts before he engulfs you in his arms while there was a wave of relief that overcomes you as you immediately reciprocate his embrace as he caresses your hair and holds you tight. The worry in him dissolves when he ran and saw that you had zero injuries but when he saw your puffed cheeks and sore eyes, he wanted nothing more than to hold you when he realized the two were stood in front of you.

“Thank fuck you’re okay, please never leave me like that again.” He whispers while you nod and within this moment, you found a way to breathe properly as Hajime continues to keep you near him but when his eyes landed on Oikawa’s defeated orbs, he pulls away gently.

Himari saw how one of them had their heart sewn back together while the other one shattered.

“You didn’t tell her?” Oikawa asks while your head turns to Iwaizumi who had his eyebrows raised but he looked at your confused expression and realizes he was pertaining to the issue of moving together. As you cautiously watch his features, you take a step away from him, standing in the middle of the two boys.

“Iwa, you knew?”

Fuck. The situation he was in felt like a twist of fate. When the idea was brought to him, he wasn’t planning to go on about it but this was Oikawa. The boy he grew up with, shared his dreams and weaknesses, and the one who reminded him that a burden should never be carried alone.

“I’m not going to lose to you, Oikawa.”

“That’s good to hear, Iwa-chan.”

But then you came and suddenly the competition grew into something more, a level that could end up having gold or having nothing when it came down to the winner.

“So, you two just accepted the fact that I’m willing to forget that he left and live with him that easily?” The two players remain silent even Himari chose to avoid barging in on a matter that only included the three of you but it did pain her to watch this unfold. She wonders how you carry this amount of pain and betrayal. It’s evident that the two have more than just a special place in your life.

It’s as if your heart wasn’t just yours anymore.

“Y/N, I wasn’t going to let you go just like that.” Hajime says but then he held back a few words that he knew would change everything for the three of you but it seems as if there already was a cut in the unity.

“Tooru, what did you do?” After hearing his answers, nothing became clear. There were missing details and words that you wished you could hear from him. With the surprise of moving to Argentina- it felt as if you were stuck in you and Oikawa’s past dream of travelling the world. This was one of the promises that could’ve stayed if not for the terrible timing. To witness the beauty of the different countries with Oikawa could’ve been a moment in your life where there was nothing but pure bliss and admiration for each other- which then turned into isolation.

“Back in Brazil, I had Himari help me with everything we needed to move in together. I thought that this would’ve been the chance for us to be together again- to have you with me and make up for all my mistakes. I know you’ve had enough with my promises so I’m not making more. I’m doing whatever it takes because I love you so much, Y/N.”

“Where did that love go, Oikawa?”

Perhaps that love was replaced by fear, especially when he can see his own reflection on Iwaizumi.

“Y/N,” the setter approaches you with care as he holds your hand, almost letting his doubts run him over when the idea of you letting go strikes his mind. He then looks at you which made you hold your breath when his eyes brought you to a memory you chose to forget.

“I love you, you know?”

“Why are you speechless?” Tooru asks while he stops walking to gaze at your flustered reaction. He then smiles before standing in front of you and places his hand on the crown of your head.

“Does that mean that I don’t show much I love you?” You shook your head while his previous words rang in your ears like your favorite song and looking at him now, your heart is overjoyed with your own love for the boy.

Taking him by surprise, you wrapped your arms around his neck attacking him in a tight embrace with an irreplaceable smile while he laughs and takes your waist by the arm muttering the same three words that he said earlier. Oikawa twirls you around while you returned the feeling.

“I love you more, Tooru!” He puts you down before cupping your cheeks with his hands as he savors the look in your eyes that only held him in it. He lowers his head as you didn’t hesitate to close the space between you and him.

But what is the same man that was in front of you?

“Iwaizumi, let’s give them some space.” Himari suggests, softly tugging on Iwaizumi’s sleeve. With hesitation, he still agreed but his eyes lingered on you who was held by Oikawa and with the sight of it had him let your words resonate in his ears as his heart silently bawls.

“Don’t fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete.”

I’m too late, Y/N.

Himari who held onto his arm, stopped walking when she sees the longing stare that Iwaizumi’s eyes held for you. She could sense that every part of his body desired to be close to yours and catch you over and over again just to be with you. She smiles fondly when she realizes that she must’ve looked like this in the past- sick in love without a trace of fear to do anything for the person you adored but what did it feel to fight for your heart against his own best friend?

“But if she wants to go... I can’t stop her, can I?”

I want to try even if it isn’t me.

“Hate me, punch me for leaving, go on. Call me stupid and more but not being yours is the worst thing there is to say.” Tooru begins, long breaths within pauses to ensure his honesty is apparent in every word he speaks because he needed to make ends meet knowing this was the only solution to find his way back to you.

And with an open heart, you listened.

No matter how many times he’s scarred you, you believed that he was still the same Tooru that cured the pain.

So when he held your cheek in both his hands, you saw nothing more than the boy you would love all over again.

“I am more than sorry for everything that I’ve done but I know that those aren’t the words you waited to hear. It’s my fault and to think that deciding without you knowing or even contacting you after I left are just actions that I regret everyday. I’ll accept if you don’t forgive me— I understand and it’s only right for me to deserve it but it doesn’t mean I won’t try for us to be together again.” He rests his forehead on yours as you silently let the tears land on his hands as he whimpers, closing his eyes as he finds it harder and harder to maintain his pace of breathing while you didn’t dare to open your eyes and look at the weeping boy.

“I c-can’t change what I did but I want you to know that within that year—being without you was more than I can take. So, if you let me hold you just for a while, then maybe I-“ He couldn’t even bare to finish his own sentence when his sobs interfered with him as you could feel the way his hands felt weaker against your skin but he held it with all his emotions.

But when your arms began to wrap around his neck with your chin to his shoulder, his heartbeat took a leap but he instantly wraps his own around your waist as he sobs into your shoulder while another person watched in sorrow.

“I can’t forget what you did but holding you is more than I wished for, Tooru.” He smiles slightly as he closes his eyes and embraces your warmth that he craved for as your thoughts ran with the seconds that passed. He strokes your hair with his hands as your heart nearly aches at how gentle he was as if every action would lead to another permanent stain on you but you held onto him more when you felt the familiar ache pulse through your body. The nostalgia it gave you holding him like this leads you to feel the past embraces he’d give after every game, after every melt down, and after every argument. He may not be able to express his repenting with mere sentences but what you knew is that with every action he does is covered in the stories he failed to tell. After all, he’s your Tooru Oikawa. The boy who gave you every ounce of love and joy even if brought you to your knees, even if the promises turned to dust. So, letting your words course through him, he subtly pulls away and looks at you with a smile as you took a few steps back.

And with a few more heavy steps of decision, you grabbed his hand, interlacing it with yours as your hesitation lies under your skin.

But your heart was certain as it is.

—

The sun rose as you stretched, the immediacy of silence creeping around your room as you watched the clouds showcase the beaming colors of its rays. Smiling with bliss, you step out of your bed and began to run your usual motives. With your clothes all pampered and ready, you wore them with pride as you looked at yourself in the mirror with a photo to the side as another flutter of a heartbeat came your way.

Dialing his number, his voice came in a second later as the glee in your heart overflows at the sound of him.

“Congratulations, Tooru! God, you were amazing and words cannot express how proud I am of you!” You cheered as the boy cries over the phone with the medal hanging on his neck with his tears decorating his cheeks as you too shed a few tears seeing him succeed over the television. Seeing him shine in the lights, displaying his winning smile as he was embraced by his fellow teammates was a view that had you let out a few shouts of exhilaration knowing this has been his dream that you supported throughout everything. He truly deserved it.

“I wish you were here but fuck thank you so much.” He says with a never-ending smile as you looked at the photo on your mirror making your heart chase the happiness that it gave you to see him like this. Glancing on a familiar vehicle park outside the building, you let out a laugh before speaking once again.

“Let’s make up for lost time.” You suggested, making the length of his smile grow as he too looks at a photo present in front of him. With two hearts lured into serenity, there wasn’t a moment more perfect than this.

“I’d like that.” Oikawa replies as you continued to put on your shoes.

“Are you good to go?” he asks as you answered a short yes before grabbing your things, and leaving the apartment as you pressed the phone to your ear to listen further.

“I’ll see you real soon.” Tooru says with a certain tease in his tone as you let out a chuckle before pressing the button to end the call.

As you walked to the car, you could feel the excitement rushing to you as he opens the door for you as you bid him a smile as he steps into the drivers seat and the love-struck boy wonders if the passenger seat has looked this bright. Seeing you in the afterglow as the sun entered the vehicle, covering you in the rays of it made his heart grew the prettiest flowers.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as he shook his head before leaning closer to land a peck to your cheek, pushing aside a strand of hair just to tuck behind your ear as your cheeks grew into the hue of love as his own orbs displayed a deeper amor than before.

“I love you that’s all.” He confesses making you smile as you intertwine your hands in his as he presses a firm kiss on it and with his free hand he turns on the engine. Turning his head so his eyes met your loving ones, he speaks.

“Ready for our drive?”

“As ready as I can be, Hajime.”

Taglist: @dekuspet @splaterparty0-0 @jihyunnxtooru @sakusakei-omi

#oikawa tooru #hq oikawa #oikawa x reader #oikawa fic #oikawa toru x reader #haikyuu oikawa #oikawa imagine #toru oikawa #Iwaizumi Hajime #hajime iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu iwaizumi #hq iwaizumi #Aoba Johsai #aoba jōsai #haikyuu tooru #haikyuu!!#haikyū!!#haikyu x reader

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nepenthendline · 4 years ago

Text

Trust - Tsukishima

wow is this actually part 2 of what I started like two months ago? mental

this is what was going to be the reality series but honestly, we all know thats gonna take ages for me to actually find motivation to do so im just doing them as and when I feel like it lol

Summary: Your relationship with Tsukishima isn’t going as strongly as you wanted, but Tsukishima is struggling to trust that you won’t hurt him (angst but it doesn’t end badly, 2.7k)

Tsukishima had been part of your life for the last two years, you both now being in your third year of high school. You had been in the same class every year, and little interactions such as brushing past each other to get to your desk, and asking him for a pen every now and then, turned into a budding friendship that left you both feeling safe and settled. You’d become close friends with Yamaguchi who was also in your class, so spending more time with Tsukishima was unavoidable. You were thankful for it though; both of you were.

Tsukishima was difficult; you either loved him or hated him, and unfortunately most of those who loved him were girls who thought he was hot and had never actually spoken to him, but his cool persona alluded them. Even you at first found his personality a little too prickly, not knowing how to deal with his teasing or aloofness, but slowly and subtly, you began to see these little parts of him that drew you closer.

Like the evenings where the three of you would hang out and his walls seemed to fall a little to the point where you’d see him smile and let out little giggled that he hid behind his hand, the time when you went to a museum together for a school project and watched as he beelined for his favourite exhibitions and spent hours reading every single informative poster, or how he would present you with small encouragements whenever you were getting overwhelmed. He was more than his teasing, his remarks and the detached role he played. There was a warmth to him that sparked at times; this particular quality that surfaced whenever you needed someone to talk to or take time away with.

He hated that you had become such a big part of his life, but he didn’t want it to end. You were so different from him, yet so similar. There was a brightness to you that he could never emulate, but you understood him. You never got pissed off with his, sometimes rotten, personality; you listened to him and you never once pushed him further than he was comfortable with. He appreciated it, but he had no idea what to do with that. Slowly, he noticed how his heart would race slightly whenever he was around you, how his palms got a little sweaty and the way you plagued his thoughts way into the night.

Late into your second year, you confessed your feelings to Tsukishima, someone accidentally as you had been ranting to him about your thoughts recently one evening. Shockingly to you, he accepted your confession. Even more shockingly was that he didn’t tease you at all for your feelings towards him, but instead offered you a nod, and a ‘me too’.

You were nervous, but excited at how your relationship could progress and deepen with him. There was a sense of pride in you about how this distant boy had chosen you, that maybe there was someone good enough for him and that would be you out of all the others. And that you would get the be the only one that heard about his secrets, his deep thoughts, his happy moments where he couldn’t help but smile, and darker ones. That you would be the one who could warm his heard and show him a life of light.

It was never like that. After 6 months together, it was as if nothing had changed between the two of you. Sure, you hung out together away from Yamaguchi at times, and you still talked to him when you needed to offload at points, but it was like you were just friends. The relationship wasn’t bad by any means; he was never nasty to you and he showed you nothing but respect. It was as if his walls were being rebuilt, one brick at a time.

He rarely told you how he was feelings or his thoughts, he never showed any sign of vulnerability to you, but he also rarely showed love. You didn’t want to get ahead of yourself, after all you hadn’t been together for that long, but it felt like any previous feeling he had for you had disappeared. But maybe not? There were nights were you’d be talking, sitting on his bed together, and his hand would brush over to yours, lightly trailing over your skin as his eyes focused on you. He seemed so settled with you, so calm, and he would talk to you, tell you things about his past and his struggled. But then the next day he would keep his distance, barely laying his eyes on your or sharing his mind. You’d walk into class and he’d simply place his headphones on, turning his head away from you.

His mind was tormented, and you knew that. He had told you on a couple nights about the haunted thoughts that spiralled in his brain often, of the anxieties that built up in him that he wasn’t worthy, that there was no point trying because it was already decided for him to fail. Even if he didn’t tell you, it wasn’t so hard to figure out when you actually paid attention to him. Often at school or around his club members, he’d mention how he could never compare to anyone else and that he was merely an inferior being.

And so he pushed. He pushed people away with his quick quips and his disinterest in anything or anyone. His brother, his team and even you. He removed any chance of himself getting hurt, or rejected, or used. He wasn’t going to make a fool of himself and put his heart into things that were only going to hurt him in the end. If it wasn’t for the way his heart twisted in pain at the idea of leaving you, he would have never let you into his life. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, but he knew how things were going to play out, so he did the next best thing and pulled himself away from you. Every day, he tried to drown out the thought of you in his mind, the idea that, possibly (almost definitely), he wanted to be your everything. Because if you hurt him, he would have nothing left. It would simply prove every worry, every excruciating thought he bottled up for the past many years.

You two were sitting in his room, somewhat late into the evening, with him laying on his back on his bed with his headphones on, reading a magazine, and you sitting sideways on the bed too with your back resting against the wall. You were reading a book before, but your attention on that bad been long gone, and now deeply set on your thoughts. You looked over to Tsukishima, you boyfriend, although you’d never have guessed if it wasn’t for that fact that you were the one that asked him out.

His expression looked so gentle though, something you didn’t see too often expect the odd times where you’d catch him looking at you. His honey eyes moved side to side as he flicked through the magazine, and his fingers often drummed against the pages in what you assumed was the beat of his music. You really couldn’t blame half the girls in your class that gushed over how attractive he was.

“What?” His voice suddenly jolted you out of your stare. You quickly looked away with your cheeks burning a little.

“Uh-nothing,” you stuttered in a low tone, picking up your book again and doing your best to just look like you were reading.

“You were going to burn a hole in my skull if you had stared any longer,” he teased, raising his brow.

“Sorry,” your voice was quiet, weak, as you barely acknowledged what he said. You were too focused on this wandering worries that swirled around inside. You felt him shuffle beside you, putting down the magazine and lifting the headphones off. He sat up, pulling his legs to his chest and wrapping his arms loosely around them.

“What is it?” The frown on his face and the way he searched yours was mismatched to the annoyance in how voice, but you were used to it. Honestly, if you said nothing, or didn’t speak, he wouldn’t make you go on and you knew that, you could easily make it out to be nothing. He knew you were lying when you did this, but he wasn’t going to make you talk, and he didn’t want to seem like he cared too much to get it out of you.

“Kei, what do you think about us? About me?” You asked hesitantly, turning to look at him. You couldn’t back away anymore.

“Huh? What do you mean?” His eyes widen a little, and he sat up a little stiffer than before.

“Do you have feelings for me, or not?” As much as you wanted to tiptoe around this, Tsukishima was the master of getting out of difficult conversations and bluntness was exactly what he needed.

He turned his head away from you, looking at the floor beside his bed and took a deep breath.

“I’m with you, aren’t I?”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Do you have feelings for me, or not?” You repeated. He turned back to look at you, his eyes small as he squinted at you from behind his frames.

“Yes, I do,” he replied, letting out a sigh. Hearing that should have made you felt comforted, loved even, but it set fire to this anger in you.

“You don’t act like it,” his brow raised at you, as if edging you to continue, “we’ve been together for 6 months and what? I probably speak to you less than I did before we were dating, and you don’t seem to care at all.” You let out a heavy breath, looking away from him and staring at his wall. “I’m used to you being distant, but I thought things might change when we agreed to this. I feel like you’re just pushing me away. If you don’t feel anything for me when why lead me on instead of break up with me?” You spoke with a little more hostility than you intended, but you’d been overthinking this for a while now, and it felt good to say aloud.

“I said I do have feelings for you, so can’t we just leave it at that?” He stood up, walking over to his desk and leaning over it, one arm holding himself up and the other picking up his water bottle.

“Then why don’t you show me that? Why don’t we talk more than we do? Why don’t you hold my hand or hug me, or even kiss me? Why do you barely even acknowledge my existence when I’m around?” Your voice grew as you spoke, flooding the room. The room was plummeted into an awkward silence after you spoke; Tsukishima said nothing, and stood over his desk. All you could hear with the thump of your heart and your breathing.

“What do you expect me to do?” He spoke, a bitterness in his voice. Your sight became blurry with tears that threatened to fall, what you expected of him? As if this some transaction that the two of you were involved in?

“I don’t expect anything from you, but if you do have feelings for me then surely you’d want to show me that? And let me show you too?” You lifted up from the bed, quickly coming to his side, “we could be so good together if you let us.” Your lip quivered; thoughts filling your head that maybe this was it, this would be the end of you together if Tsukishima decided he didn’t want this anymore or that he never did. Standing beside him, you saw his close his eyes, his head falling down towards the ground.

“We could be. And then what if we aren’t?” You barely heard him as his muttered, laced with a poison you’ve never experienced before.

“Huh?”

“What if you decide you don’t want this and then leave? What if we both put all our heart into this, and it goes to shit? What’s the point?” He turned to you, his eyes wide and flaring.

“W-well we can work things out. It’s not going to be perfect but we can deal with issues when they come up.” He pushed up from the desk, standing inches above, looking down towards you. His eyes glowed in the dark of his room, but it wasn’t a bright one, more like the light of a raging, agonised flame.

“And what if you decide I’m not enough?” The silence returned as you stared at him, your jaw slack and left speechless. You saw him swallow hard as his throat wobbled, but he remained stiff in his spot. “The more I love you, the more it’s going to hurt when you leave.”

Confused, your brows knotted together and your head titled as you looked at him. “Leave? I’m not going to leave you.” The corners of his lips curled upwards into a sickening grin as he let out a dark, sarcastic chuckle.

“Of course not.”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” you said, firmly, your hands tightening into fists as you watched him. “Look, I can’t promise you that everything’s going to be perfect between us because it probably won’t be, or that we’ll be together forever because neither of us know that, but I can promise you that I’m not going to intentionally hurt you, and that I will do anything I can to make us work. But I need you to trust me.”

His head turned to the side, looking away from you as his fingers fiddled together. You moved forward, slowly brushing your fingers against his, then taking his hand when he didn’t flinch away. “I know it’s going to take a while, I understand. I came into this knowing that, but if you want this too then I need you to try.” You lifted a hand and gently placed it on his warm cheek. You felt him ease ever so slightly into your touch, and you guided his face to look towards you. “Yeah, it’s going to hurt if this doesn’t work, but it could be so amazing, and we won’t know that until we try,” your voice cracked, and you bit your lip to hold back your tears.

His eyes were glassy, empty-looking as he stared back. You both stood still, quiet for a few moments. You were just wishing he would say something, do something. You didn’t expect him to start gushing his love to you, but just something that would show you he wanted this, and that you could both move on together. You searched his face but it was as if he wasn’t even there, simply an empty shell of a body that had already been devoured by the demons in him. A single tear rolled down your cheek and you let your hand fall from his face.

Just as you were about to take a step away, he pulled you into his arms, trapping you close to his pounding chest. One arms wrapped around your waist and the other holding your head close, shaking a little. You let out a gasp, but relaxed into him, hugging him back.

After a few moments, you let yourself nuzzle into his chest, tightening your grip around him for the first time. It felt so comfortable, so natural being in his hold.

“Please, just let me in,” you croaked, tears staining his shirt. His fingers tangled themselves into your hair, the other hand digging into the skin on your hips as he rested his head on yours. “If you think you could, let yourself love me, please.”

He nodded, tilting his head down to place a kiss on your head, leaving his lips to rest there as he shut he eyes, breathing in your scent.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be enough for you, but I’m too selfish to let you go.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu scenarios #haikyū!!#Haikyuu x reader #Tsukishima kei #tsukishima kei x reader #Tsukishima x reader #Haikyuu angst

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dessarious · 4 years ago

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Misconceptions, Miscommunication, and Misinformation Pt94

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

Marinette could honestly say she hadn’t been this relaxed since before she became Ladybug. She was leaning against Chloe as they sat on the couch while Selina asked them and Luka questions about themselves. At least when she and Damian weren’t trading barbs. It was so… normal in a way. She didn’t have to worry about saying the wrong thing and outing herself. She wasn’t waiting for the next Akuma attack or worrying about keeping everyone around her calm so they weren’t the next victim. She wasn’t hiding anything from the people in this room and that made all the difference.

“Oh I assure you there is nothing more entertaining than watching Tim try and explain a cold case to the toaster at three in the morning.” Selina’s eyes were shining with repressed laughter but Damian rolled his eyes.

“If by entertaining you mean pathetic. But if that’s your gauge for entertaining I vote the time Todd shot himself because he was doing target practice and forgot to switch out his rubber bullets with live ammo.”

“I think I missed that one.”

“I still have the tape if you want to watch. Watching him fire off five rounds and then scream like a little girl as they come back at him is well worth the time.” Selina was still laughing when there was a knock at the door.

“It’s probably Daddy coming to lecture me about something.” Chloe sounded resigned and Marinette’s temper flared.

“I’ll handle it. He won’t risk pissing off Bruce Wayne’s fiance.” Selina jerked the door open before blinking in surprise at the person on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“I’m here to talk to Chloe.” Marinette looked at Chloe in confusion and saw a matching, slightly more pissed off, expression as she recognized Adrien’s voice. As far as she knew they hadn’t talked since Chloe transferred. When Selina looked back and raised an eyebrow Chloe hesitated before nodding. Marinette could feel the tension radiating off of her. Adrien stepped past the woman and stopped immediately. It was obvious he hadn’t expected so many people.

“What do you want Agreste?” The open hostility in her tone caused Marinette to wince. Even if it was his own actions that ultimately led to the rift she still felt bad that she was the focal point that made them both lose their oldest friend.

“Can we talk in private?” He wouldn’t look anyone in the eye and his tone was off. Chloe must have heard it too.

“Anything you have to say to me can be said in front of everyone here.” He looked like he was going to argue, but ended up letting out an irritated sigh.

“Fine. I need your help to get in contact with Ladybug.” Marinette tensed and she felt Chloe’s arms tighten around her.

“Absolutely not.” Adrien actually glared at her.

“Why do you want to contact Ladybug?” He transferred his glare to her and Marinette could feel a growl starting in Chloe’s chest. She pinched the other girl’s arm as a warning. She had no idea who Chat Noir had been and Marinette didn’t want to risk Adrien recognizing Plagg’s influence.

“It’s personal.” Marinette actually shuddered. She honestly didn’t think she could deal with him coming on to her without physically assaulting him at this point.

“If you won’t say what you want I’m not going to bother Ladybug about it. She’s got more than enough to deal with without your nonsense.” Chloe’s imperious tone was a front and Marinette studied Adrien as he pouted at the floor. It wasn’t what she expected though she couldn’t say exactly why.

“Look, I get that you all hate me because my father turned out to be Hawkmoth.”

“No one here hates you because of that Adrien.” She tried to make her voice gentle but she could hear the strain in it.

“No, we hate you because you are a self serving asshole with no real concept of empathy.” Everyone in the room frowned at Damian. He wasn’t wrong, it was just a bit hypocritical for him of all people to be pointing that out.

“I need to talk to Ladybug to see if she can help my mother. For some reason when Nathalie told her about my father she forgot to mention that my mother was never actually missing. She’s in a secret room, in a coma because of the Peafowl Miraculous. She only told me after she was certain Father wasn’t going to get out on bail.” He mumbled the words to the floor and just about everyone inhaled sharply at the information. Yeah, all she’d told them was that Gabriel was trying to get his wife back.

“So what, you think Ladybug will let you make the wish your father wanted?” Chloe sounded more confused than hostile at least.

“No. I’m well aware she won’t risk that. She might be able to help her though since it was a Miraculous that caused the damage. That or she might know someone who can. Either way I have to try.” He sounded so… lost. For all he’d made her life miserable, on both sides of the mask, she couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d lost everything.

“We’ll make sure your message gets to her.” Marinette felt Chloe tense behind her again and started rubbing soothing circles into her forearm. This was something she needed to do, and not for Adrien. The truth was that Mme. Agreste didn’t deserve to continue to suffer because of the things her husband or son did.

“Thank you. And Damian could you have your father contact me when it’s convenient?” Damian just scowled at him.

“Why?”

“My mother was never declared legally dead and she has her own shares in Gabriel. Given everything, if she wakes she’ll likely want to sell them. If she doesn’t they’ll go to me and I certainly don’t want anything to do with the company.”

AO3 Beginning Previous Next

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#maribat #marinette dupain cheng #chloe bourgeois #Selina Kyle #Damian Wayne #luka couffaine #adrien agreste #bffmaridami

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writeseasonally · 4 years ago

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Just My Type (Fred Weasley)

Summary: Wake, shower, eat, and study, that was (Y/n)’s weekly morning routine. She always studies before the start of class and tries her hardest to avoid all kinds of distractions. But when your best friends are the Weasley twins, it’s a lot harder than it sounds. Fred decides to disrupt her morning routine one time with words that leave (Y/n) all red and flustered.

Prompt(s): “Well you’re fun.” “And you’re annoying.”

Pairing(s): Fred Weasley x Ravenclaw!reader

Warning(s): none

Word(s) : 1.5k

A/N: This is for @im-a-writer-right‘s 2k Followers Writing Challenge (congratulations again on 2k Ria! Well deserved 💖). This isn’t the first time I’ve written for the Harry Potter fandom, but this is the first I’m posting, so there may be some possible errors when it comes to characterization and I apologize in advance for that; While editing, I also noticed that I used “as if” quite often so...yeah, but with that being said, you may now proceed reading :)

[ please note that english isn’t my first language ]

Noise filled the Great Hall as the students' voices merged as one because of how they talked with each other continuously. It's a wonder as to how they managed to understand what the other was talking about, considering the Great Hall was filled with students who either enjoyed their breakfast while conversing with their friends or were trying their hardest to do a last-minute study before their first subject begins.

Sat on the end of the Ravenclaw table was (Y/n), who was alone. All the other Ravenclaws were with their friend groups; honestly, (Y/n) wished she could do the same, but with the coming OWLs, and with the essays she wanted to revise last minute, she was stuck on the furthest corner of the table with books surrounding her instead of her friends.

Letting out a frustrated groan, (Y/n) thought of how much time she wasted just to rapidly skim the book that didn't even give her much additional information. She closed the book and let out a shriek as a response when she saw a grinning face, specifically, Fred Weasley's grinning face.

"What're you doing sitting all alone here, (Y/n)?" he asked, pulling his face away and grabbing one of the books she previously read. He looked at the book cover and opened a random page before closing it abruptly, a bored look on his face. "I get that you're a Ravenclaw and all but you still need to have at least a little bit of fun."

"Sorry Weasley, but unlike you, I actually would like to make a good impression for the teachers this year," (Y/n) retorted, she paused to look at Fred before continuing. "Though, it clearly doesn't help with potions since Snape knows I associate with you Gryffindor lot, but eh, I don't mind. It’s not like anyone can actually appease him."

Fred grinned and swung an arm around her, "Well, Snape's clearly a greasy git of a teacher who shows his distaste towards anything other than the Slytherins. So I would've taken deep offense if you implied that being friends with us lovely and absolutely charming Gryffindors instead of those Slytherins was a mistake you've done."

(Y/n) rolled her eyes, "There we are again, Weasley. You and your overdramatic self making me feel guilty for saying something I meant differently." Fred's grin grew larger at the statement, though it dialed down a little when (Y/n) removed his arm which was wrapped around her. She smiled at him one last time before burying herself in her textbooks again.

Letting out a small sigh, Fred tried to eavesdrop on what the other Ravenclaws near them were talking about. His grin returning for the umpteenth time when the words he was hearing started making sense.

"Come on Romina, you gotta tell us what your type is!" one Ravenclaw exclaimed. She, along with two other Ravenclaws, looked at a black-haired girl who looked unsure in answering the question. Though, not even a second after, the look of uncertainty immediately disappeared and was replaced by an odd confidence.

"First off, I'd like him to be a Gryffindor, considering as everyone in this house's too preoccupied with studying, it'll be fun to have someone who doesn't worry as much around." the girl explained, a smile on her face. "Especially if it's one of the Weasley twins, then that would be wonderful." She looked around and saw him staring, making her look away with an embarrassed smile. Fred too looked away, satisfied with what he's just heard. He didn't know some Ravenclaws acted like that, he thought all Ravenclaws were too busy burying themselves in their books to even care about those kinds of things; he assumed that all Ravenclaws were like (Y/n). He was proven otherwise.

"Not all Ravenclaws bury their noses in their books, you know," (Y/n) said from beside him as if she's just read his mind. She closed the book she was reading. "I just happen to be very conscious of my grades."

"Why couldn't have I befriended that girl over there? She's clearly more interesting and more interested," he asked, face being playfully serious.

(Y/n) snorted and replied, "Please, that girl over there's too possessive of what she thinks is hers. I'm surprised she hasn't yet declared her love for you, Weasley."

"Well, even if she did, I wouldn't be at all interested. She isn't my type, and I've already got my eyes for someone else," he stated proudly, his tone as if he's just won the Quidditch cup single-handedly.

(Y/n) looked at him with a raised brow. Curiousity about what he meant by 'his type' consumed her mind. "Oh? Then may I know what your 'type' is, Weasley?" she asked, emphasizing the word type.

Fred stared at her for a moment, amusement in his eyes. He pondered on whether answering her question seriously or if he should be the opposite of subtle.

Considering he's Fred Weasley, he decided to go with the obvious choice.

"Well (L/n), that's a tad bit too personal, don't you think? But if you must," he sighed heavily, as if (Y/n) was forcing him to share what his 'type' was.

She on the other hand tried to hide her genuine curiosity with an annoyed expression, though Fred can easily see right through her.

"First of all, she's got to be able to play Quidditch decently, making George and I constantly target her with a bludger since we both know she can easily swerve past it. She's also got to be a chaser for her house team, if I'm being more specific." Fred started rubbing his chin, making him look like he was thinking of something very deeply, "She's got to have (h/l), (h/c) hair with matching (e/c) eyes. Also, she's a prefect who'll obviously be head girl in her seventh year; she's always got her nose buried in a book as she claims that having fun is a last choice because she'd rather study, but we both know it's a lie. She's also able to be courageous at times, not physically, but implying it with the use of her wits." he paused for a second, holding on to (Y/n)'s eyes as her face suddenly felt hot. He smiled, "Pretty sure Granger's following her footsteps. But most importantly, she's got to be the person I'm talking to right now, whose face is almost as the same shade as my hair, and is the person I'm asking to be my girlfriend."

(Y/n) stared at him for a few more seconds, mind processing the words that just left his lips: 'the person I'm asking to be my girlfriend'. Um, what?

“What– who– me– why?” (Y/n) spluttered, completely flustered.

Fred only rolled his eyes teasingly at the question. He thought that his declaration was enough for her, but he did catch her off guard so he understood that she was still processing his words. But instead of repeating his essay-worthy declaration, he opted to use just simpler words that he knew would get a rise out of her, “Well, you’re fun.”

“And you’re annoying!” She immediately responded without a second thought. This emitted a laugh from Fred because her response was all too sudden as if she programmed herself to say those words every time he says she’s fun (and now that he thought about it, maybe she actually did. He could vividly recall telling her she was fun during first-year and her responding with the same three words. Huh).

(Y/n) zipped her mouth shut, she still felt flustered as she watched Fred’s amusement to her reaction, he was clearly entertained. Perhaps he achieved his goal after all: to distract her from her studying and entertain himself. She groaned on the inside, thinking of a way to compose herself. And she did just that

She closed her eyes for a second to calm her racing heart as she took in an intake of breath before releasing it. (Y/n) hoped that it would help her understand his previous words easier. And somehow, it worked.

When (Y/n) finally composed herself and got her confidence back, she looked at Fred with a small smile, her cheeks still burning hot, "Well, Freddie, you're lucky that you're just my type." She kissed his cheek before grabbing all of the textbooks in front of her, which were already arranged, before heading off to her first class.

George was watching everything that happened between Fred and (Y/n) from where he sat on the Gryffindor table. And when he saw (Y/n) plant a kiss on his brother’s cheek before scurrying off with a small, shy smile, he took this as his cue to finally near his brother and ask him about what happened. And tease him afterward of course.

"So was that a yes or a no?" asked George as he made himself comfortable on the empty space beside Fred. He looked at his twin expectantly, who didn't return his gaze, rather, he continued staring at the Ravenclaw's figure until she exited the Great Hall; mischief was evident in George's eyes as he gave his brother a teasing grin, "Merlin, you are already smitten."

×××

gifs are made by yours truly unless stated otherwise

posted: 08-01-20

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dokoni-mo · 5 years ago

Text

Far Away, Together || Darth Vader x Reader (Chapter 6)

(A/N: I had originally planned to do post this friday, but I was just on such a roll last night that this bad boy practically wrote itself! Im very happy with the turnout as well :)) I hope y’all like it too!!! I also realized while writing this that the series will have to be one chapter longer than I had originally intended, but that’s just good news in my book!! As always, please feel free to ask to be put on the taglist for anything or send me asks about anything!! I love interacting with yall and making content for yall!! enjoy more time with our favorite sith ;) )))

WARNINGS: cursing, old man kinda creeping, breif mentions of violence, otherwise none!!!

Key: (F/N) = first name

Word Count: ~5600

Chapter One: [x]

Chapter Two: [x]

Chapter Three: [x]

Chapter Four: [x]

Chapter Five: [x]

Chapter Five and a Half: [x]

You hadn’t meant to be late that morning, but nonetheless, you were. Unquestionably so.

Waking up in the silk sheets that morning had been one of the most difficult things that you had ever had to do. For one, the bed was quite comfortable compared to the cot that you normally slept upon in your quarters back on the Super Star Destroyer. The cot that the Empire provided you was almost exactly like the Empire itself. Cold, hard, and not comfortable at all. The bed there on that planet, however, was the opposite. It was warm, inviting, and very comfortable. You would have simply cocooned yourself back in the covers and fallen back asleep were it not for you remembering your duty.

Alongside leaving the comfort, waking up that morning meant that the time you had spent with Lord Vader the night prior was officially over. For a brief moment in your groggy, freshly woken-up state, you had thought that the dance you shared with Lord Vader must have been a dream. A wonderful, yet cruel dream of what you knew could never be. However, contemplating it a moment longer, you knew that it was, in fact, very much real. Sitting up to look sleepily at your surroundings, you felt the phantom touch of Lord Vader’s arm around your waist, his hand within yours. Going back further, you replayed the conversation you had had with him in your mind, cementing the thought within your memory.

You smiled to yourself then. You knew that you would cherish that moment forever.

After picking up your uniform and pulling it's cloth upon your body, you decided that it would be best to simply just cut to the chase and go downstairs instead of stalling in your room for an indefinite amount of time. As you opened the door and clacked your boots down the hallway, a yawn escaped from behind your lips, making you raise your hand to your mouth to muffle the sound. As you drew closer to the stairs, you started to hear muffled voices from below you, your ears unable to decipher what exactly the voices were saying.

Your curiosity taking over you, you slowed your steps so that you could concentrate on the voices, your ears perking as you honed in on what they were picking up. After a moment of investigation, your mind was able to process the tone of the voice you heard, but not necessarily the words of which it was speaking. Your brow furrowed as you searched your mind for where exactly you had heard that voice before. The memory seemed so distant from your conscious, yet so very close.

The face that matched the voice hit you like a ton of bricks.

That face was old and nasty.

That face had blue eyes.

Shit.

You were late. Very, very late.

Adrenaline pumping through you, you bounded down the stairs faster than you had ever before on any set of stairs. You cursed how loud the sound of your boots stomping quickly on top of the surface of each step sounded, eliminating your chances of joining the meeting quietly and undetectably. Drawing quickly down the stairs, you were greeted with a sight of confirmation of exactly how late you were. About 50 feet away from you stood a handful of palace guards, another handful of stromtroopers and officers, one king, and, of course, one extremely tall sith lord, looming above the rest as he always did.

Walking quickly over to the group to assume your position at Lord Vader’s side, it was extremely difficult to not notice the stares you got from the officers and, more-so, the king. Meeting his blue gaze for a moment, you felt your cheeks rush with embarrassment. It was only then that you had allowed your mind to go back further into the events of the past night.

The king’s hands on you.

The conversation you had.

The broken glass.

You should have been ashamed to show your face. But, you weren’t. You were proud that you had put that old man in his damn place.

You were ashamed, however, of exactly how much you suspected you would be chewed-out by Lord Vader for being late two days in a row.

Oh well.

Standing with your arms crossed over your chest, you found your position by Lord Vader’s side, shooting up a small, quick smile at the sith Lord. He turned briefly to acknowledge your presence before returning to his original position of staring down at the old king. This made you puff your cheeks slightly, disappointed that he didn’t do anything else. Thinking it over a moment longer, you decided that you shouldn’t be too upset. This was technically a meeting, to be fair.

Returning your gaze to face forward, you were met by the sight of the king’s gaze trained upon you. The look he gave to you was one of an odd flurry of amusement and daggers, his lips in a slight smirk. Your eyes hardened in return, refusing to let you submit to the old asshole’s gaze.

“Well,” the king said, a breathy chuckle in his voice, “Look who has decided to join us! Good morning, Miss (F/N).”

You put on the best half-friendly smile that you could before formulating your response, “Good morning, your majesty.”

If you had simply trained on his words, you would have convinced yourself that perhaps the king had decided to continue on like the previous night’s actions had never occurred. However, you knew that his eyes had told a different story. Yet, you were confused. It was hard to tell what exact game he was trying to play

Furthermore, it was hard to tell if you really wanted to play.

“Well,” the king said, clapping his gloved hands together, “Now that everyone is here, allow me to guide the way.”

Turning on his heel and walking the other direction, you figured that you must have missed the details of the day while you were getting ready that morning. Sighing silently to yourself, you picked up your boots to follow the king, as well as the barrage of guards, stormtroopers, and officers that tailed him.

This had been your original plan, until it was sharply and swifty interrupted by a large weight throwing itself upon your shoulder, simultaneously pulling you back and keeping you in place. Your mouth opened to let out a yelp, but your lungs prevented this with a moment's more worth of constipation.

You recognized this weight.

“You are late again.” You heard the weight’s owner say from behind you, your cheeks turning pink.

Turning your body to face the sith lord behind you, you crossed your arms again as you looked up at him, a small smile on your features.

“I like to think that I’m just fashionably late again, my Lord.” You quipped back at him, “What do we have to do today?”

He gave you a strong pat on the shoulder before walking past you, slow enough for you to keep up, “Our host will be showing us what his planet has to offer the Empire, along with its natural resources.”

You walked to catch up with Lord Vader, letting your arms fall to your sides.

“How exciting…” you mumbled out.

You continued to walk in silence for a long moment beside the sith lord, unsure of what to say. You desperately wanted to say something, anything, but the words just would and could not come to you. Every now and again, you would open your mouth to say something, but would quickly second guess what it was, causing you to shut it again. You began to grow somewhat frustrated that you couldn’t find the words. You hoped that you didn’t look as dumb as you felt.

Lord Vader must have sensed the frustration growing inside of you as he looked down at your small frame, noticing how your brow was furrowed as you stared at your feet in compilation. He would never admit it to anyone, but he found it to be…

Amusing.

Returning his gaze to it's original position, you heard the sound of his respirator pick up in rhythm before he spoke.

“(F/N),” Lord Vader said, “I sense that you are frustrated.”

You felt your gut sink as you processed the words, shooting a look up at him. Damn, you thought to yourself, is it that obvious?

“I… I don’t know what you mean.” you responded. This was a half lie. You had known exactly what he meant by the words, but not what exactly he was trying to say. So what if you were frustrated? Every time he came to visit you while you were working on his TIE you were frustrated. What made now so special?

Lord Vader paused again before rumbling out his response, the metal of his armor gleaming in the light of the day.

“I enjoyed our night together as well.”

Oh.

That’s what made now special.

Your heart had skipped multiple beats at his words. Your nerves were firing off a mile a minute as waves of joy rippled through you. You had not realized that you were nervous about whether or not he actually wanted to be with you last night, or if he was simply doing it to get away from the mingling he had to do. Your doubt quieted, you looked up at Lord Vader’s mask, a big smile painted on your features. Sensing your gaze, Lord Vader pointed his mask to look down upon you.

“I’m… glad. Really glad.” you said up at him, your eyes crinkling in delight, “I… hope that it wasn’t the last one.”

You shot your gaze down back to your feet after you finished talking, your smile fading into a soft, faint stretch of your lips. You were surprised how bold you had been just then, admitting your true feelings to the sith. Where you should have felt embarrassed, you felt instead… content. You didn’t regret your actions at all. You felt comfortable even. If you had been anyone else, you knew that you would have been sliced in half or choked to death right then and right there. Yet, by some grace that was far bigger than you, you knew deep down, you were lucky enough to be excluded from that fate.

You thanked your maker above silently and unconsciously.

Lingering his gaze upon you a moment longer, Lord Vader drank in the sight of your flushed face before turning his armor-clad head to face forward again, as if he were looking something very, very far away. His words came a moment filled with nothing but the sound of birds, the breeze, and his respirator allowing him to inhale and exhale later.

“As do I.”

~~~

The places that the King had taken you, Lord Vader, and the posse of troopers and officers were pretty, but not all that interesting. A tour of the city, a look at the forest, a look at the sea, and a look at the sports colosseum. Again, all very beautiful to look at, but not too interesting to talk about.

You had been able to avoid any sort of contact with the king as you trudged through the sights of the city, keeping your mouth shut and your eyes trained on the view around you. Every now and again, your group would begin to walk without you even realizing. You were always broken from your trance by Lord Vader, either by him calling out your name or leading you on by the small of your back for a brief moment, his giant hand nearly taking up the entire expanse. Both would always make you smile up at him, and the latter would make you blush.

You were currently atop of a platform that looked over a medium-sized waterfall, the sound of the water falling off the edge filling your ears. The air was thick with the smell of salt, and the dew that emanated off of the falls making the atmosphere humid, but pleasantly so with the breeze that fluttered your hair. Across the stretch of rock that you stood upon was the entrance to one of the largest mines on the planet, the cave so large you had to crane your neck to look atop it. The few stalactites and stalagmites that stuck out of the entrance gleamed and littered in the sunlight, emanating many hues of the rainbow. If you weren’t here representing the Empire, you would have almost thoroughly enjoyed the setting.

“I will give you a few moments to look around, my Lord. I have to discuss something with my advisors for a brief moment.” The king had said to your boss after blubbering on for a long while about the history of the mine and the resources that were found inside. With a nod of approval from Lord Vader, the king gave one last snake-like smirk and walked off, giving you some sort of look. You felt a sour taste on your tongue as you rolled your eyes, making sure that the king’s gaze was turned away before you did so.

You had hoped to take a short walk with Lord Vader while the two of you were on break from mingling, but you were disappointed to see his attention be taken away by an officer who demanded his attention. You would have been saddened, were it not for you remembering that the visit to that damn planet wasn’t just a get away for you and Lord Vader to hold hands all day and walk into the sunset together. There was work to be done and deals to be made, and that always seemed to involve him in some way.

Awesome.

Deciding to not try and make friends with the guards or strike up a conversation with the stormtroopers, you placed a hand on your hip as you started to slowly walk around the stone platform. You had eyed some of the members of the posse as you walked by, quietly wondering what their daily lives were like or what their thoughts on Lord Vader’s visit. Sighing to yourself, you realized that they must be just as boring as your own.

As you continued to stroll about the platform and gaze absentmindedly at the people that littered it, a certain sight had caught your attention. You didn’t mean specifically to look at the king, but your eyes had somehow fallen upon him. Just as he said he would, he was currently talking to a few guardsmen who seemed to have a few more matches and medals than the rest. Captains and generals, you took it.

Lingering your gaze a moment longer, you felt a jolt rush through your spine as your lips parted. While the king was whispering to his guards, he had taken a moment to look over his shoulder at you, a glint of venom in his eyes. This glint quickly dissipated, however, once he realized that his blue eyes had made sudden contact with yours. With this, he quickly let his gaze fall as he continued to talk quietly with his advisors, as if he had hoped you did not notice this action.

However, quite the contrary, you had noticed as plain as day. Processing what had just happened, you allowed your brow to furrow.

What was that for? You wondered to yourself. The obvious answer, the one you wanted so desperately to believe, was that the look you had exchanged was by pure accident, the tone of his look being from the king’s residual loathing from the night prior. However, as much as you wanted to believe that, you gut told a different story. You felt… odd.

You decided to do something about it.

Marching past all the other people dispersed in the crowd, you only stopped when you were within conversation distance between the king and his huddle of guards. You had noticed that their voices had grown quieter and quieter as you had approached.

“Did you want to speak with me, your majesty?” you asked, raising your voice so that you could be heard over the bodies of the guardsmen as you placed a hand on your hip.

A moment of awkward hesitation loomed over the air as the king exchanged a few glances with the guards, causing you to raise a brow. Smirking and stepping forward, the king placed his hands behind his back as he looked down at you.

“Now where would you get that idea, my dear?” the king asked you, his tone so sickeningly sweet it made you wince.

We made eye contact, dumbass.

“I saw that you were looking my way, your majesty,” you responded, “and I just figured-”

“What? That I would ever want to speak with the likes of you again?”

Your mouth opened slightly in shock at his sudden change of tone, your legs moving to shift your weight. Excuse me?

“W-What?” you stammered out, the shock still in your veins, “no, I just-”

“Don’t get smart again with me, missy.” the king hissed out, stepping forward and glaring down at you, his finger in your face, “Don’t think that I have forgotten how you embarrassed me in front of my entire entourage last night.”

Oh.

This was what this is about.

Not letting yourself back down, you placed both hands on your hips, your brow furrowing again as you shot up a glare right back at the blue-eyed old man.

“Embarrassed you? How about when you embarrassed me?! Looking at me like that, talking to me like that, are you out of your-”

“Shut up,” the king spat, cutting you off. Suddenly and without warning, he reached out and grabbed you by the collar, making your eyes widen. You wrapped your hands around his wrist and tried to pull away, only for him to pull you closer to his glare.

“Do you really think that you could pull that sort of stunt and get away with it? I swear, I will-”

“Is there something wrong, your majesty?”

The voice that came from behind you was comforting to you, but only sparked fear within he eyes of the king. Letting you go almost instantly, you stumbled backwards, your back bumping against the hard, firm surface of a panel of buttons. Before you could look up at the owner of a panel, a pair of hands wrapped themselves around your shoulders, grounding you and making you feel safe. Looking at the king again, you had noticed that his face had morphed from one of anger and hate to one of fear, only masked by a forced friendly smile. You smirked softly to yourself as you noticed the beads of sweat starting to form upon on his old, wrinkly brow.

“O-Of course not, Lord Vader!” the king said, a waver in his voice, “Miss (F/N) and I were just having a, erm, little… chat.”

“Is that so…” Lord Vader rumbled out. You opened your mouth to object, but you were quickly cut off by the old man before you.

“Y-yes! Yes of course!” the king chuckled nervously in response.

“Good,” rumbled Lord Vader, taking his hands off your shoulder and stepping closer to the king ever so slowly, his head tilting to the side, “It would be quite the shame if my prised mechanic were to be harmed.”

Gulping silently and taking a few steps back, the king responded, “Yes… quite the shame indeed.”

Clearing his throat, the king placed his hands on his hips, assuming a new look of attempted friendliness.

“Well, I assume that we are all done here, yes? Excellent! Let us head back to my palace now, my Lord. There we can talk more about our entrance into the Empire.”

Before Lord Vader could do anything in approval, the King pushed past both you and the sith lord, the cape on his shoulders fluttering at his pace. As the troopers and officers began to follow suit, you began to mimic their actions, only to be stopped by a familiar hand upon your shoulder.

“(F/N),” Lord Vader spoke to you, making the pair of you linger behind the group, “Are you… alright?”

You didn’t know how to respond instantly.

Were you alright?

You frowned slightly as you thought about what your response should be. You didn’t know whether or not to tell him about your interaction with the king, or how you had seen him look at you and whisper with his guards. The feeling in your gut had not dissipated, and it plagued the back of your mind. You wondered if that was worth telling Lord Vader, however, since he already had so much to worry about. Was that just normal behavior? Lord Vader did do similar things with the officers on the Super Star Destroyer…

“Yeah, I’m fine… thanks.” you decided to respond. Shooting up a small smile at his mask, you lifted up your own hand to rest upon his own briefly in order to cement your gratitude.

He looked at you in silence for a long moment after you responded. You wondered if your answer had satisfied his curiosity. His pause said no, even the aura around him said no, but he did not poke the subject any further as he removed his hand from your shoulder.

Deep down, you really wanted him to question you further.

~~~

The walk back to the palace was excruciatingly long.

You didn’t realize just how far you and the little posse had gone until you passed by literally everything that the king had taken you to see. By this point, the sun was starting to set, and your feet were starting to ache in your boots. You were somewhat grateful for this, however, since it meant that the second day on this planet was finally drawing to an end.

Just one more day of having to deal with this shit, you thought to yourself, then I can go back to my station. Funny… I never thought I would miss that place.

But there I can be by myself, and not worry about having to deal with creeps.

There I can be with…

You shook your head to dislodge your thoughts. Now was not the time nor the place for you to indulge in such things.

Staring to grow bored with your walk alongside Lord Vader, you began to let your eyes wander once again for some people-watching. You watched as the stormtroopers marched along with their guns held tightly to their chests, and how the officers walked with their heads held high. There was no doubt that this was an empirical entourage.

Looking deeper into the crowd, you allowed your gaze to fall upon the king’s guardsmen. Their uniforms were somewhat silly to you, but you figured that you must be biased in that regard. Training your eyes on them a moment longer, you started to notice small things that the guards would do.

Every so often, one guard would whisper to another, then another, then another. Sometimes, the guards would even steal glances of you and Lord Vader as you were fixated by his side. Your brow furrowed again at this, making your mind try and piece together what you were seeing.

He must have sensed your shift in mood since he looked down at you without warning, his respirator as loud as ever. He took note of your facial expression before he spoke.

“You seem on edge, (F/N).” Lord Vader said, making you look up at him a brief moment.

“Yeah,” you said back quietly, your fingers twitching in a faint sense of nervousness, “It's just… Do you see them looking at us? It’s… weird.”

Lord Vader looked at you a moment before responding.

“Yes, I am aware.”

“Should we… do something about it? Or is this normal?”

“It happens periodically upon my visit to certain systems. Besides,” he continued, “Any attempt to conspire against the Empire shall result in failure.”

You would have smiled at that if it weren’t for the pang of nervousness that still resided in your gut. Instead, you looked down at your feet and frowned to yourself, your lips stretching into a brief line.

“If you say so, my Lord…”

You desperately wanted to believe him. But, a pit of doubt and anxiety in your stomach kept you from doing as such fully. You hated the feeling.

It’s just me wanting to get off this damn rock… you tried to tell yourself.

You didn’t fully believe yourself, either.

You didn’t know which feeling to hate more.

~~~

Upon your arrival back to the palace, you were allowed 30 minutes to yourself to freshen-up before the day’s closing meeting. Relieved to get a moment to yourself, you headed up the stairs almost too quickly as you were relieved to go by Lord Vader.

‘Do try not to be, how do you put it… ‘fashionably late,’ again this evening, (F/N)’ he said to you.

‘No promises, my Lord.’ you had giggled back to him.

Locking the door and kicking off your boots in your room, you sat down gingerly upon the freshly made bed, a wave of relief washing over you, so strong that it made you lie back upon the plush surface. Reaching your arms above your head, you arched your back as you let yourself have a big stretch, your muscles turning cold from the rush of blood-flow. Letting out a big breath, you closed your eyes as you let relaxation flow over you. You figured that since you needed energy to continue on with the night, now was as good a time as any to get in a quick cat-nap.

Just as you had settled into your quick nap, a startling yet soft sound made you snap your eyes open, because of course something had to take your relaxation away from you. Laying there silently for a moment, you tried your best to hone in on the sound. Your ears prickling, you heard the noise again, only this time it made you sit up in your bed at attention. Finally able to decipher where the noise had been coming from, you snapped your head over to the knob on your door.

Sure enough, it was twisting and turning at a feverish pace.

Someone was trying to come in.

Oh hell no.

A sense of anger and frustration washing over you, you quickly marched over to the door, throwing it open as quickly as you could.

“WHAT THE HELL-”

Nothing. And no one. That’s what meat your gaze as you looked out in the hallway.

Your face fell from one of anger to one of sad confusion as you stood there a moment, your hand sliding down the surface of the door. Sighing to yourself, you slowly went back into your room and closed the door behind you. You closed your eyes and pointed your head at the ceiling as you leaned your back against the door, allowing yourself to slide down into a kneeling position.

Great, you thought, now I’m going crazy.

I just want to go home.

I hate it here.

~~~

Deciding to humor Lord Vader a little, you had arrived at the night’s closing meeting on time. This had proven to be the correct choice, since you didn’t get any stares from anyone upon your arrival. The gut feeling from that morning still inside you, and this did little to appease it. However, it made you wonder if the king had given up on whatever he was trying to pull with you from earlier.

But, of course, you had no way of knowing.

The meeting was just as boring as all the other ones you had been to. Again, you were sit speechless by Lord Vader as he discussed the topics at hand with the king or one of his advisors. As he did so, you would try and find anything you could do to entertain yourself. This often involved counting tiles or trying to play back a holovid you had seen long ago back in your mind.

This meeting, however, had a big surprise in store for you.

“Miss (F/N),” you heard the king’s voice call out to you, sending a shock of get your head out of your ass down your spine, “You look dreadfully bored over there, my dear.”

Looking over to the king, you hid your scowl as best you could as you tried to ease your sense of deja-vu.

“Well, there isn’t much I have to add to the conversation, your majesty…” you responded back. You hadn’t meant to sound snarky, yet you couldn’t help yourself.

The king laughed, an odd glint in his eye, “Yes, of course, my dear. I understand perfectly. Yet, I feel so bad just watching you sitting there. Here, how about we have my guards here escort you to the mechanical department for the time being? You can get a good look at the place whilst me and Lord Vader discuss, hm?”

Your lips parted in confusion as you looked into the king’s blue eyes. What the hell? Did he suddenly feel bad for being such a dick to you? Or did he simply just feel bad? Or could he just not stand the sight of you anymore?

Deep down, you didn’t care. Enticed by an opportunity to leave the boring meeting behind, your mind was fuzzed from any thoughts of doubt that plagued your conscience. That offer did sound… appealing.

However…

“I… I would love to, your majesty, but…” you began to say, turning your gaze to fall upon Lord Vader for a moment, “I wouldn’t want to go against my Lord’s wishes if he required me to stay.”

This was a silent plea, but you wouldn’t know it yet.

“Oh, I’m sure that our dear Lord wouldn’t mind at all! Am I right, Lord Vader? Won’t you allow our dear Miss (F/N) to be relieved of our boring conversation?” the king asked, propping his boots on the table.

You shot your gaze over to Lord Vader, unable to tell what emotion your eyes emanated to him. The sith looked right back at you, the sound of his respirator allowing him to inhale and exhale filling the room.

Deep down, you wanted him to say no.

Deep down,you prayed he would say no.

He spoke after one of his trademark pauses.

“I will allow it.”

Why did that sting so bad? You should be relieved…

“Excellent!” the king exclaimed, “Guards, please take Miss (F/N) to the mechanical department for the time being. I will comm you when she is to return.”

The guards grasped their blasters tightly in response, standing at attention. Slowly but surely, you stood up from your chair and pushed it in. As you turned, mumbled out a quiet thanks, and began to walk past the dark lord you knew too well, you felt something large and leathery wrap around your fingers. Sure enough, when you looked down, he saw his hand wrapped there, making you look up at his mask.

“(F/N),” he said slowly, just enough for you to hear, “be… careful.”

You smiled and nodded at him like you didn’t need his caution.

Why did it feel so wrong?

With Lord Vader eventually letting you out of his grasp, you walked over to your guard escorts and gave them a nod to signal to them that you were ready. Nodding in return, they turned on their heels and escorted you out of the room.

You gave one last glance over your shoulder at Lord Vader before you exited.

Deep down, you prayed that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw him.

The palace was eerily quiet with no one else but you and two guards walking the halls. Even though you had never been to a palace before, something inside you told you that this was wrong.

You ignored it.

The sound of footsteps echoing off of the walls made the goosebumps raise on your arms. It was so eerily quiet. And so eerily cold. You thought about striking up conversation with the guards, but you took them as not the type for conversation.

Looking past all the doors that you saw on your walk, you took brief moments with each to see the contents inside all of them. You felt a lump in your throat as you saw a door with half-broken ships and blasters in the doorway. A feeling of unease washed over you.

You ignored it.

There must be some other way into that room.

You held your biceps as the guards led you down a long hallway, only for it to end with two long, dull, menacing doors. A pit bore itself into your stomach.

You ignored it.

“Is this… it?” you asked.

“Yes.” One of the guards responded.

“But…” you said, “I-I saw some ships back there and-”

You were swiftly and rudely cut off by an action you barely had any time to process.

The guard had lifted his blaster, pointed to butt-end at you, and slammed it against the side of your forehead.

Instantly, your vision blurred, your brain just barely able to process what was happening as your sight started to fade to black.

You heard the doors to the room in front of you open.

You felt your weak body being dragged inside.

Your body weak, you felt yourself roll onto your side to face the fall without you even telling your body to do it.

You were met with one final sight before everything went black.

There was no mistaking it.

You had seen it countless times before.

From news briefings.

From posters.

From propaganda.

That brilliant crimson.

The symbol of the rebellion.

~~~

TAGS: @spaghetti-666 , @soullesstaco , @arsonistvoyager , @robin-obsessed , @glitter-rian , @captainrexstan , @easterncryptid , @deviatedwinter , @roseangel013bf , @danicalifxrnia , @dartheldur , @finest-trashbag , @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii , @elongatedmusk-rat , @shads121 , @muffinbeliever , @sakuramadae , @padme-parker , @missmannequin

#darth vader #darth vader x reader #fanfiction #anakin x you #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #star wars fanfiction #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars x you #star wars fanfic

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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago

Text

5 Simple Rules For A Successful Fake Relationship: The Perfect Date

5 SIMPLE RULES MASTERLIST

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader

Summery: There's trouble in paradise for you and Ben but will the distance bring about some revelations? And what does it mean for your romantic reunion?

Warnings: The usual fairly innocent stuff, some swearing and drinking and mentions of smoking, but with the additions of PDAs out the wazoo, public make out, private make out.

Words: 8093

A/N: Things get a lil spicy in this one! Small disclaimer that I don’t drink so I have no idea what wine does to someone, or two someones who split a bottle. Also just another reminder that this was in no way inspired by rumours regarding Ben’s rl relationship with Olivia Cooke. I believe they’re legit, and I will not engage with anyone about that topic.

Taglist: @laedymoon @dtfrogertaylor @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @supersonicfreddie @tenement-funstah

@coni-martina @johndeaconshands @hardforbenhardy @cubedtriangle @vicouscirce @arianabrashierstuff

You headed straight to the bathroom and threw up. Ben had called twice on your way home, but you’d let it go to voicemail, not ready to hear him admonish you for eavesdropping on him or to be asked if you felt the same. You supposed it was adrenaline or something that was making you feel nauseous. Of course, you’d have to talk to him eventually, at least to apologise for going so off book, but it could wait until you weren’t feeling so miserable. With teary eyes, you made your way to the kitchen, grabbed a drink to help settle your stomach, and then flopped onto the couch to flick through TV channels until you found something distracting enough. Your phone rang again but when you glanced at the screen it wasn’t Ben’s name you saw. “Mary?” If she heard any evidence of your distress in your voice she didn’t mention it, “Brilliant performance Y/N. The video was tweeted out about ten minutes after you left the restaurant and it’s already been shared more than you’d believe.” “Oh, that’s good.” “Better than good. People are eating it up. There’ll be articles tomorrow predicting your breakup and not just the ones we’ve organised. We’re going to ask that you and Ben refrain from seeing each other in public for the next two weeks or so, make it look like you’re taking some time apart. That’ll give the video plenty of time to circulate and allow us to get out a few variations of the trouble in paradise story. Of course, you’re free to visit each other and speak over the phone but be wary in case other paparazzi start following you in addition to the one’s we’ve hired. Chances are more people will be looking to scoop the official breakup story if all goes as well as these early numbers indicate it will. Then we’ll hit them with the romantic makeup dinner at Boucher. And after that it’s back to playing the happy couple. Of course there’ll be the press junket and premiere in a couple of months’ time and then we can break you up for good.” She kept talking about plans for he press tour, something about flights and hotels, but you stopped paying attention, already getting twitter open and searching for the video. It didn’t take long to find it, the caption proclaiming he who’d caught the footage had noticed you and Ben arrive and had pulled out his camera as soon as he realised things weren’t particularly happy. “Sorry, Mary, I’m gonna have to call you back.” “Everything alright?” “Yeah, just a small mishap with the washing machine. I’ll talk to you later.” As soon as she was gone you pressed play on the video. Filmed from a table to the left of yours and slightly behind your shoulder, the phone tipped at an angle so it wouldn’t be spotted. Your heart pounded as you watched. It was all there, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife as Ben tried to draw you into conversation. You heard the bite in your tone, the confusion in his. And you saw what you’d not noticed in the moment. The way his face fell when you said it was too much. The way his nails dug into his palm as he clutched his fork so tightly. The hurt on his face when you called him clingy and needy. He stood up as you walked away but he didn’t follow, just dragged his hand through his hair and then sat down heavily, worrying at his thumbnail with his teeth. The waiter came over, presumably with the bill but the video cut out before anything more was said. They’d got what they wanted. They didn’t need the aftermath.

The next day there was an unexpected knock on your door. You put down your phone where you were watching the video again and peeked out the window, worried that it was Ben come to confront you. Instead you saw Felicity raise her fist and knock again. “I saw the video,” was the first thing she said when you let her in, “are you okay?” “I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m fine.” “You had a straight up cat fight in the middle of a restaurant, and there are paparazzi practically camping in your front yard, you’re not fine.” “Okay, maybe not fine fine. But it’s whatever. How many are out there?” “Three. But what happened? Last week you told me you weren’t going to break up.” “We haven’t broken up.” “Well then what was that?” “I don’t know. It’s been building for a bit I guess. He’s just more serious about it all than I am.” “So I heard. Are you sure you aren’t just panicking?” “Panicking about what?” “Well, y’know, you’ve been in the tabloids a bit lately. That must put a strain on things. Maybe you just got a little freaked out by it and pushed Ben away rather than let yourself be vulnerable,” “What are you my shrink?” “Hey, I’m just trying to help.” “Yeah well, you’re wrong. The paps are kind of annoying but they aren’t the problem. The problem…” you took a breath as you considered what was safe to say, “the problem is that Ben has been on a different page to me for a while now. I think we both just need some space.” “Okay, if that’s what you want to go with,” she clearly didn’t believe you, “Have you talked to him about it?” “Not yet. Figured I’d call back sometime today when my head was clearer.” She nodded, “Well, I’m here for you. Whatever you need. Moral support when you call him or someone to bitch to afterwards or just somebody to get drunk with.” She pulled you into a hug, squeezing you tight and for a moment you felt like you might cry. All you could think about was Ben’s expression when you walked out, how wounded he looked.

Felicity stayed with you for the rest of the day which was good because her presence stopped you from doing nothing but watching the video over and over again. As it was you found it hard to keep yourself from looking at the comments people left on it. A lot of people took Ben’s side, calling you a bitch or worse, sometimes even direct messaging you their opinions. But there were also those lampooning Ben for smothering you, some going so far as to claim they were early signs of manipulative and controlling tendencies and that he deserved the public humiliation of it all. Those were the comments that made you feel worst. Being called a cunt you could deal with. Being told Ben deserved better you could easily deal with. But seeing such horrible suggestions of Ben being thrown about made your heart ache. He wasn’t mean or manipulative. He’d been nothing but kind to everyone on set and especially to you. Any lingering annoyance that hadn’t left you along with the little you’d eaten seemed to melt away, leaving you feeling cold at the thought of what you’d said. Yes he’d been stupid and selfish to agree to pretend to date you when he actually had a crush on you. But not once had he tried to wheedle a confession of love from you, not once had he pushed himself onto you. He’d always been respectful of your boundaries, warned you before he kissed you, asked if you wanted to share a blanket rather than just assume you did. Even your rules he’d mostly stuck to. The one exception being the cutesy nickname, but you’d never put up much of a fight with that. You only knew that he felt something for you because you’d listened in to a private conversation. And really, could you blame him for developing feelings? You’d literally been cast as lovers because you had good chemistry and then you’d spent weeks getting even closer, made all the more necessary by your fake romance. He was hardly the first person in history to have his on-screen feelings transfer to real life. And surely, if he’d decided to tell his friend everything, even after signing contractual documents about keeping it secret, then he must be serious about you, about how much he liked you. Maybe you had it wrong. Maybe there was something there you hadn’t consi-. “Stop wallowing,” Felicities voice cut through your thoughts, “Put the phone down and stop thinking about Ben for five minutes.” You shook your head to clear it, “I’m not wallowing.” “Are you on twitter right now?” “Maybe,” “You’re wallowing. C’mon, give me the phone.” She held out her hand, giving you had no choice but to hand it over. “Has anyone ever told you you’d make a good teacher,” “Once or twice. You can have this,” she brandished your phone at you and then shoved it into her bag, “back when you’re ready to call Ben. Until then we are getting out of the house.” “Out of the house where?” you asked, letting her pull you from your seat. “Just out. You need some fresh air. Go on, get your shoes.” “Alright, alright, I’m going,” you said, with the first genuine chuckle you’d had in days.

You ended up at the park a street over, sitting on a bench overlooking the duckpond. One or two of the photographers followed you, but they were easy to ignore. As soon as you stopped moving your mind was back on the previous night, but Felicity must have sensed as much for she quickly blurted out a fun fact about ducks to distract you. For the rest of the time you were there she kept your mind on other things. She gave you an extended rundown on all the gossip from her workplace. It didn’t matter that you didn’t know who Derick was, you soon heard all about his tryst with the copy boy, and when you asked if the Susie M who was mentioned was the same Susie M that made out with the boss at last year’s Christmas party you heard all about the fallout from her drunk misstep. Felicity led you on a stroll around the pond as you laughed at her stories and filled her in on what you were hoping your next role would be. “I’ve been sent a couple of interesting scripts. There’s one for a sci fi time travel thing which I’m hoping to get a call back for. And there was one for a comedy about a coven of witches causing mayhem with their potions. I’m only about halfway through the script but I’d happily play any of the three lead witches, so I think I’ll have a crack at it.” “They both sound really good. Different to your last role.” “Yeah. Different’s good though.” Eventually you wound your way towards a small coffee shop opposite the far side of the park. The slice of apple tea cake you ordered was the first food you’d eaten since the few bites at dinner and Felicity didn’t let you leave until you’d finished it, though she was subtle in her insistence. When you put your fork down with food still left on the plate she ordered a second coffee for each of you which gave you little to do but keep eating. You thanked her after but she pretended not to know what you were talking about. It wasn’t until you got home again that she returned your phone. “You should call Ben,” “Do I have to?” “Stop pouting and do it. You’re cute together and you obviously love him. Just suck it up and talk to him.” You let out a heavy sigh and then took the phone back, refraining from rolling your eyes at how wrong she was about your feelings.

You headed out onto the back patio and, with some slight trepidation, called Ben. The call rang out. With a frown you headed back inside only to be greeted by Felicity making chicken noises. “I didn’t chicken out, he just didn’t pick up. He must be busy.” “Or he’s upset. Call back. You can come in after he’s not picked up three times or you’ve had a chat.” “Okay, I’ll try again, jeez,” you went back outside and shut the door behind you. Your second attempt was as unsuccessful as your first and you were just about to hang up on the third try when he picked up. “Hello?” “Hi Ben,” “Y/N,” there was none of the joy in his voice that usually accompanied your name. “Can we talk, is now a good time?” “Yeah,” “Okay, I just, uh, I wasn’t sure since you didn’t pick up straight away.” “Well I wouldn’t want to come across as more needy than I already do.” “I shouldn’t have said that,” you leaned against the wall of the house in the same spot you’d seen Ben lean countless times after you’d told him he couldn’t smoke inside, “I’m so so sorry about everything I said.” “It’s not what you said, Y/N. I get it, we had to fight and you let loose. From an acting perspective I’m actually really fucking impressed. I, uh, I might have watched the video when I got home, just once, and it looks legit. Like, that line about pretending to love me as much as I do you.” You held your breath, waiting for him to ask how you knew. “I mean, that’s exactly what we were going for anyway, just without the details of not having met each other’s families. Everyone still heard us argue about moving at different paces and it was some really great improvisation.” “You think so?” “Yeah absolutely. I don’t think I could have come up with a line like that on the fly. Seriously, if we were allowed to tell people it was fake, that would have fit well on your audition reel.” “So you’re not upset with me?” There was a pause as Ben thought about his next words. “Not upset exactly. Like I said, I get that it was a scene. But the way you sounded when you called me clingy….it was pretty clear there were some real feelings in there too and I,” Ben sighed, “I just wish you’d talk to me about how you were feeling beforehand.” “I didn’t really know how.” “But if I’d known that I was making you uncomfortable or coming across as clingy I would have pulled back. I could have texted less or crashed at your place less often. Not insisted on buying you books on our fake dates.” You scuffed your foot against the ground, not sure whether to come clean about overhearing him. You’d expected Ben to have realised by now that you knew, not to take what you’d said as some incredible performance. “I know I got kinda caught up in it all though,” he said before you could summon the courage to admit anything, “I, um, I really like…” You could feel your heart racing, convinced he was about to confess his feelings for you, completely unsure how to react. “…being someone’s boyfriend.” “Oh,” Why was he so determined to surprise you? Why did you feel disappointed? “It suits me. I like having someone to dote on and take care of and talk to and I guess it’s been a while since I properly, seriously dated anyone. I feel like I’ve got all this boyfriend energy stored up and nowhere for it to go. It comes in handy when we’re pretending to be on a date or whatever but sometimes it slips out when we’re just hanging out as friends, without the cameras and all that. Which isn’t an excuse or anything, I’m not trying to undermine any discomfort you felt.” “No, I get it.” “You do?” “Yeah. I mean, we said it was a weird situation right back when it was first pitched to us. That hasn’t really changed, has it?” “No,” he said with a small, soft chuckle, “still weird.” “Exactly. And sometimes I think it can be kind of confusing.” “Confusing?” You had a sudden mental image of a dog with pricked up ears, “Confusing’s maybe the wrong word. Hard to keep up with is I guess what I’m trying to say. It’s different to acting in love with someone on a movie because on a movie there’s a definite time span. The director calls cut and you can stop pretending. But we don’t get that cut. Even when there’s no cameras we’re still faking it for the people we know and anyone who might see us,” you glanced inside to make sure Felicity wasn’t listening in. “Do you think that’s why you didn’t know how to talk to me? Because there’s no clear line between Y/N and Ben as friends and Y/N and Ben as a couple.” “Maybe,” you shrugged, “I don’t think it helps.” “Yeah. It’s like, obviously there are times when we have to be all coupley and I guess it gets hard to say when something is uncomfortable because then it’s like what about next time we’re out and we have to do that thing anyway. And there are things I’m happy to do with my friends that I don’t think twice about but might carry extra meaning in our situation.” “Exactly. I don’t want to say I don’t like something and make you feel bad when we then have to do it because people are watching.” “So what are you suggesting then?” “Well, we aren’t allowed to see each other in public for a couple of weeks now, right? So maybe this could be a chance for us to take a break. Not in a completely cut off way, I still wanna talk to you and stuff. But if we give ourselves some space, y’know. Try and shake….excess feelings a-and work out our boundaries better.” “Sure, yeah, I can see how that would help.” “It’s just a couple of weeks and like we can still text or call or whatever we just wouldn’t hang out together and it wouldn’t be every day.” “Y/N, I get it. It’s a good idea.” You took a deep breath, “Okay. Cool. Um, so we’re good?” “Of course we are. I-” Ben seemed to stop himself from saying something, instead sighing, “We’re good,” “Good.” There was nothing else to stay but you didn’t want to hang up. Neither did Ben, it seemed, both of you just standing in silence. You could hear faint music playing on his end, like it was coming from another room. Maybe he was in his kitchen, leaning against the bench, the radio on in the next room over. Or maybe he was sitting on his couch, the TV down low so the repetitive game music wouldn’t disturb your conversation. You could see him so clearly, sitting in his usual seat, controller abandoned beside him. You wondered if he could tell where you were. “I guess I should go then,” He said softly, “I’ll talk to you soon.” “Bye Ben,” “Bye cud- Y/N.”

“How’d it go?” Felicity asked when you came back inside. “Alright. We’re gonna take a break from seeing each other so much and sort out how we feel and stuff.” “That sounds good,” “Yeah,” you felt relieved at having had the conversation but it was mixed with a weird sadness you couldn’t put your finger on, making you feel vaguely like you wanted to be sick again. “Why don’t you go lie down for a bit. I’ll hang out and then tonight we can order pizza and watch cat videos or vine compilations or something dumb like that.” “You don’t have to stay, I’m fine.” “Hun, I’m staying. Maybe I’ll take a run to the shop, pick up some ice cream and booze and face masks. Sound fun?” “Definitely,” “Alrighty then, it’s a plan.” You felt slightly cheered by the thought as you made your way to your room and fell onto the bed, not bothering to change or move the covers, but it didn’t stop room from blurring with tears as soon as you were alone.

Keeping the distance between you and Ben was a mixed bag. On one hand not seeing each other meant there was no lingering pressure of another date or photo opportunity weighing on you. But on the other it also meant a queue of TV shows you felt unable to watch since you’d started them together. You didn’t have to worry that Ben would suddenly call you or rock up on your doorstep, unable to keep his affections to himself any longer. But you also missed out on random messages asking if you could remember that song (“you know the one it was from the early 2000s. Went something like…,”) or the way he’d chuck popcorn at you from the other side of the couch until you managed to catch some in your mouth. It gave you a chance to relax without worrying you were leading him on, or that you’d say the wrong thing, or that the rules you’d come up with would be broken. But that was because you barely spoke to him. Your communication was kept to text messages whenever something big happened and not much more. Ben sent you a message when he got a call back for one of the movies he’d auditioned for. You texted him when your neighbour’s dog had puppies, partly because they’d asked if you knew anyone who could adopt one when it was a little bigger, but partly because the second you saw the babies you thought of how much he’d love them. And yes, you were sleeping better without so much pressure and anxiety, but it hadn’t stopped Ben from appearing in your dreams and even daydreams, explicitly so more often than you were willing to admit. Then of course there was the bombardment of emails from family and friends checking in on you after they’d seen the video. It got so out of hand you’d had to make a rare post on your private Facebook account letting them know things were fine, just to get them to stop harassing you. But you couldn’t stop the harassment you were getting from strangers on all your other social media pages. You got into the bad habit of checking all the big gossip mag websites for stories about you, following them with as much fervour as any fan might. Ben must have had some paparazzi taking up residence on his street too because you saw countless pictures of Ben going about his day – out with friends, walking to Tesco, smoking outside a pub. And every time there was some story attached either about how heartbroken he was or about how he was sneaking off to meet you in private. You coped the same treatment, though sometimes with the added twist of announcing you were pregnant. All it did was make you wish you could have a hug from Ben and talk about it with him. You came very close to buying a pack of cigarettes one day, just so you could burn one and have its scent linger around your house like Ben had brought it in with him. Felicity was brilliant. She found amusement in the unfamiliar photographers, especially when an article appeared with photos of you and her hugging on your doorstep, speculating you’d moved on from Ben already. It wasn’t so surprising that she’d snuck her way into the magazines she so loved to read considering she checked in on you a lot in the first few days. But, as much as you loved her, and as much as she made you laugh, she had her own job and partner to think about and she couldn’t quite grasp what was happening the same way Ben could have. You missed him more than you thought you would, even with all the baggage from his unrequited crush. So much so that the realisation your makeup date was approaching had you grinning as you made your morning coffee, humming the song from his mug.

It was a surprise, though not an unpleasant one, to hear your phone ringing at close to nine the night before the date. You were sitting in bed playing solitaire on your laptop when your ringtone interrupted. Ben was apologetic as he greeted you, repeatedly saying sorry for calling at all. “It’s okay Ben, I really don’t mind.” You said, putting the laptop aside and relaxing back against the pillows. “Are you sure? I should have just emailed you.” “Ben, stop. I’m glad you called. I’ve missed hearing your voice.” “You have?” “Of course I have. I spent two and a bit months doing nothing but listen to you blab, you really think I’d just forget you?” You could hear his smile when he continued, “I’ve missed talking to you too. I figured this would be a good excuse.” “This being?” “Tomorrow night. Peter said he’d send you the info.” “Of course, yeah I got his email. Tomorrow night, meeting at Boucher at seven.” “Yup, that’s the info.” “I was told to dress up and be prepared to smooch.” “Did he say smooch?” “No,” you laughed, “His phrasing sounded a lot stuffier and careful not to create a lawsuit, but I figured that’s what he meant.” “Yeah, um, you’re okay with that?” “Absolutely. It’s a makeup dinner and we’re going to be together for another couple of months so we should play up the romance and the um, physicality and all that.” You tried to ignore the sudden warmth in your cheeks and the memory of your last dream. “Okay, good because I was specifically told about what happens when we leave the restaurant.” “Hmmm I think I remember something about that but again, stuffy non-lawsuit language. Kinda hard to follow at times.” “Basically they want us to make out while we wait for an Uber. Like, proper make out.” “Oh,” “I told them neither of us are public make out people but they’re insisting they need it. Something about it being an obvious indication of getting back together or whatever. And technically we agreed to it when we signed up for this whole thing.” “Thanks for the heads up.” “No worries. Glad I called now, wouldn’t have wanted to just spring that on you. But um, that’s it really, I’ll let you get back to your last night of peace.” “Wait,” you blurted without having anything else to say. “Yeah?” “Ummm, oh! Did you hear anything more about that movie?” “Not yet but Peter said they’re still in talks. Hopefully soon.” “What’s it about?” “It’s an actiony thriller thing. This guy, the role I auditioned for, witnesses a murder and then gets dragged into this revenge mission. I’d get to shoot some big guns and drive a cool car and y’know save the girl, all that stuff.” “Sounds fun,” “Yeah, what about you, any auditions?” “One or two but nothing’s come of them. I sent my reel in for this supernatural comedy about a coven of witches. Too soon to know anything though.” “Well I hope you get it,” “Yeah, likewise.” “Thanks.” You were forcefully reminded of your last conversation when you both lapsed into silence again, neither of you making any move to hang up. You wanted to keep talking but part of you was worried that if you used up all your conversation topics now, you’d have nothing to talk about over dinner tomorrow, and if that happened you were bound to blurt out something you shouldn’t. Instead you just savoured the sound of Ben’s breaths and the odd rustle of clothing as he shifted around. Once again he was the one to break the silence. “Well, as lovely as it has been to chat, I should go. Gotta get a good night sleep so I’m ready to woo you tomorrow.” “You’re not going to bed yet are you? It’s so early,” “I was gonna read or something for a bit actually.” “Have you finished that show we started?” “Which one?” “Any of them? “No. Figured they could wait.” “You wanna watch one now?” “What, over the phone?” “Yeah, we can try to time it so it plays at the same time.” “Uh, sure, why not,” You quickly grabbed your laptop and, after some discussion of which show you were more in the mood for, found the right episode. There was laughter on both ends of the line as you attempted to hit play at the same time, counting down from three between giggles. It took you a few tries but you eventually got them to sync up, more or less. It felt nice to hear Ben’s laughter again, his voice when he sang along with the soundtrack, his comments about the nitty gritty of the production side – odd line deliveries and angles of shots. He was easy to talk to. Though with everything that had happened, everything you knew, just the act of talking to him set off butterflies in your stomach.

It took you well over an hour to get ready for the date. You’d been told to go all out so that’s exactly what you did. With a little help from Felicity so you could get away with a calming pre dinner drink. She gave you a hand choosing an outfit – a dress, short but not too short, classy but eye catching. It had started life as a dress for a movie premiere but after a few years the top didn’t fit quite right so you’d had it altered, the skirt was taken up, cut off and attached to a new top that more suited your current style, leaving you with a slightly shorter and much more you outfit. Glass of Prosecco close to hand, Felicity worked on your hair and offered advice on your makeup. When you were finished and could reveal the full look to her, she squealed. “You’re absolutely going to get laid.” “Shut up. I look alright though? Lipstick’s not too dark?” “Honey, you look gorgeous. I swear, you’re gonna get dicked down in the bathroom of that fancy as fuck restaurant because he’s not gonna be able to keep his hands off you.” You burst out laughing, “Good to know. Not exactly the plan for the evening but at least I’m prepared now.” “What is your plan?” “I don’t really have one, which is not helping me stay calm. I guess just find out if he’s still interested in me. And then work out where we go from there. We talked last night and that was good but I just need to know if he’s, you know, still into me.” “He’s head over heels for you, that won’t have changed. The question is, do you love him?” You wanted to say no but obviously couldn’t so you settled for a soft, “I’ve have missed him.” She hummed with an annoyingly knowing look. “I should be going, the Uber’ll be here soon.” Felicity pulled you into a hug, “Knock him dead, Y/N,” and then, as an afterthought added, “don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” “You first hooked up with your girlfriend because some drunk guy told you he’d buy you both drinks if you made out. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do.” Felicity laughed, “That was just a free drink, imagine what I’d do if there was a fancy French dinner involved.”

You arrived before Ben did. A quick glance up and down the street told you he wasn’t approaching just yet, so you opened your clutch to give yourself something to think about other than the sound of snapping cameras. Phone, lipstick, tissues, compact mirror, three condoms. You laughed to yourself when you saw them and made a mental note to lie about how useful they were when you next saw Felicity. Quick footsteps caught your attention and you looked up in time to see Ben running towards you. “Sorry, I’m late,” he said between breaths, pressing a kiss to your cheek as soon as he was within reach, “My Uber got caught in traffic and I had to make a stop,” He held out a small bouquet of flowers in a variety of pinks, purples and yellows. “For me?” “No for the other girl I’m seeing, of course for you. You like them?” “They’re beautiful,” you took the bouquet and breathed in its sweet scent. “I saw it in the shop and, um yeah, I don’t know, they seemed nice, a-and I know you, um, like nice things, so,” he stopped babbling with a pained expression on his face, for once more visibly nervous than you. “It’s very sweet of you, thank you,” “I’m glad you think so because right now it feels kinda cliché and cheesy. Now you have to carry them around all night, what was I thinking? And god can I just shut up. Sorry.” You couldn’t help but laugh as he scrunched his nose up and ran his hand through his hair, unintentionally endearing, “Calm down, Ben, we’ve done this before.” “I know,” “Let’s just go inside, further away from these cameras, and have a drink, sound good? “God yes,” he nodded and let you lead him through the door up to the hostess stand, managing to pull himself together enough to give her the name of the booking. As expected, she told you to wait in the bar until a table was ready.

Ben downed his first drink in one hit. It made you wonder how hard he was finding it to be around you. Had the space helped him quiet his feeling for you? Or had it just made him want you more? Was that why he seemed so out of sorts, stumbling over his words in a way that was so unlike him. You desperately wanted to find out where he stood but it was impossible without giving yourself away. What you needed was for him to make another phone call you could overhear but the likelihood of that happening was slim. You’d just have to put it from your mind for now. “Better?” You asked Ben as he caught the barman’s attention and ordered a second drink. “Getting there,” He took the new glass and drank, just a sip this time, “You look stunning by the way. I should have said it earlier,” “Thank you, you look very handsome,” He glanced down at the suit he was wearing, “Thanks.” A somewhat awkward silence followed. “So,” you said, louder than necessary, desperate to get him talking like he normally did lest you start to freak out too, “You been here before?” “No. Never even heard of it before Mary and Peter mentioned it. You?” “Same.” You looked around the room, searching for something else to talk about, “Nice though.” “Yeah, yeah, really swanky.” “Bit different from the painting thing,” “Yeah, very. Look I need to tell you someth-” “Mr Hardy? Your table is ready,” You smiled at the hostess, as he thanked her, and followed her towards a table for two, setting your bouquet down to the side. Ben smiled at you from across the table. “You were saying?” you asked, apprehensive and curious. “Oh, um, nothing, doesn’t matter. We’ve got a date to focus on.” “Wouldn’t want all these prying eyes to miss anything,” “Exactly. Cuddle bunny,” You smiled at the nickname despite its ridiculousness and leaned forward in your seat slightly, letting your fingers gently rest against the back of his hand. If he wanted to focus on the date and putting on a good show for the public then that was something you could do, “Babe.” The flush you’d seen creep onto Ben’s face before appeared again and he reached for his glass once more. “So, how have you been?” you asked, pulling your hand back towards you. He looked at its retreat and then back at your eyes, “Good. Got to hang out with the boys a few times last week which was really good.” “Beat them at any more video games?” “They won’t let me anywhere near FIFA at the moment,” “Discrimination,” “That’s what I tried to tell them!” he laughed, seeming to relax a little more, “bunch of babies.” “What about that trip thing you were organising, have you sorted that out?” “Not entirely. It’s with my friend Joe who lives in the States. He was going to come out here but we decided it wasn’t worth it since I’ll be over there soon anyway.” “You will?” “Well both of us will be. Part of the press stuff for The Perfect Match.” “Oh, right, of course,” you giggled and tucked your hair behind your ear. “He’s looking forward to meeting you though.” “I bet he is,” you said automatically. Of course he’d be keen to meet the woman his friend was infatuated with, you would be too. Ben gave you a questioning look but you covered well enough, “I mean, he’d obviously know about us dating so I assume he’d be curious to meet your girlfriend. Especially if we’re having public spats and stuff.” “Right, yeah, definitely. What about you? What’s been happening?”

From there you fell into your usual style of conversation, both of you relaxing more as the night wore on and the bottle of wine you ordered grew emptier. The only difference from normal was the romance of it all, played up as much as possible. Brushing hands as you both reached for the salt, soft smiles and laughs. You even went so far as to twirl a strand of hair around your finger like some love struck teenybopper in a soap opera. When your food arrived you let Ben feed you a bite off his fork. You offered a taste of your meal in return and he held your wrist as he leaned in. A gesture that left you breathless, blinking at him as he slowly withdrew his hand. The wine’s fault probably. You’d polished off the bottle by the time dessert arrived, on top of the drinks you’d had before you sat down. It made you feel looser and you assumed the same of Ben, judging by how different his demeanour was to the nervous, stuttering one he’d had when he showed up. Perhaps that was why, with a spoonful of chocolate mousse halfway to his mouth and no regard for the conversation you were having, he suddenly said, “Can I ask about these last couple of weeks?” “Uh, yeah, what d’you want to know?” “Was it good? The space, did you get what you wanted from it?” You thought for a moment, putting down your own spoon, “Yes. I’m not going to lie and say it wasn’t helpful because it really was. Just, having that break from everything. I think I really needed it. But I really really missed you too.” He smiled at that, looking down at his dessert like he was trying to hide it, “I’m glad. It was hard not seeing you but yeah, helped me figure some stuff out too. Confirmed some other stuff.” “Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.” “Like…um, the thing I said on the phone about enjoying playing the boyfriend. I like having someone special to share things with,” He sighed, “But that’s…not relevant right now. Do you want to get out of here?” You were a little taken aback by the suddenness of the suggestion but agreed, reapplying your lipstick for the cameras while the waiter collected your bill.

Ben wrapped his arm around your waist once you were outside, pulling you close. With the pretext on planting a kiss on your temple he quietly asked if you were ready for the next part. “Lay it on me,” you giggled, feeling warm and light. A second later his hand was sliding down your side towards your bum which set off another wave of giggles. He kept you close as you walked down the street, oblivious to the flash of cameras. Ben kept his arm around you, using the other to open the app and order a car. You stopped when you reached a quiet bus stop, Ben letting you go to sit down, tapping the spot beside him. But his hand wasn’t gone for long, instead moving to cup your cheek as he pulled you into a kiss. “I missed doing that,” he muttered but you were more focused on making it happen again, shifting yourself closer, laying your hand against him, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt. His heart was pounding under your palm, but it matched the beat against your own chest. You’d forgotten how good he was at kissing but it came flooding back as you opened your lips for him, felt his tongue against yours. His hand was firm on your back, pulling you in but still not close enough. You whined, let him pull you onto his lap, pressed yourself against him, one hand in his hair so he wouldn’t stop kissing you. His hands were everywhere, on your arms and back and squeezing your arse, holding you in place as you arched your back slightly and kissed him harder. A car horn right beside you made you pull away, startled. “Ben?” The older man asked, looking down at their phone, “I’m here to pick you up.” “Shit,” Ben said softly, and then to the driver, “Sorry, yes, that’s us.” You let your head fall forward onto his shoulder for a second, smothering your laughter. “C’mon cuddle bunny,” he said softly, “they’ve had enough of a show.” Your legs felt unsteady as you stood and smoothed your skirt down. Ben opened the back door for you and followed you inside. “So sorry about that,” he said again to the driver. He just laughed, “It’s alright. I remember being your age and completely smitten. You’re that couple I’ve seen online, right?” “Uh, yes, that’d be us, I think” “Well if you wanna keep making out I won’t stop you. Might have to tweet about it though.” Ben laughed, “Thanks but I think we can hold off for a bit.” You looked over at Ben and had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing too loud when you saw the lipstick smudged over Ben’s face. “What is it?” Still laughing you handed ben your compact mirror and the pack of tissues from your clutch. “Christ,” he said softly, “The internet’s going to fucking love this.”

The Uber driver left you at the end of Ben’s driveway with a wink and a have fun. There were paparazzi waiting for you so you grabbed Ben’s hand and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. He led you inside, refusing to let go of your hand even while trying to dig his keys from the opposite pocket. Once you were inside, you placed your slightly bruised bouquet on the hall stand, leaned against the closed door and began taking your shoes off. Normally, after being out together and winding up at Ben’s place, you’d head straight to the bathroom to take off your makeup. He’d go and fetch two glasses of water if you’d been drinking or maybe something warm if the night was cool. You’d change into the pyjamas you kept at his place and then join him in the lounge room, sometimes tucking yourselves under the same blanket, to watch TV until you were yawning and struggling to stay awake. And then you’d wish each other good night and head to your separate rooms. But this time something felt different. You kicked your shoes to the side of the hallway and stayed against the door, watching as Ben pulled his wallet from his pocket, dropping it and his keys next to your flowers. He slowly turned towards you, taking a step closer. And you knew you should move, should dodge around him, make a joke about not needing to take off your makeup since he’d already done it for you but you found yourself stepping towards him too. There was a beat as you both realised how close you were. You heard Ben swallow, watched his eyes move to your lips unashamedly. Later, when you were lying in the dark wondering what the fuck had happened, you’d tell yourself it was the wine. A brief impairment of judgement exacerbated by months of celibacy and an easily suggestable brain. Whether you believed it was another question.

You closed the gap but he was only a second behind, hand back on your waist as his other found your jaw. You wrapped your arms around his neck, let him slowly walk you through the house towards the living room you where you’d spent so many nights joking around. He didn’t stop kissing you while you stumbled through the house, not unless he had to and even then he never went far, his breath hot against your lips. You pushed him down onto the couch and straddled his lap, continuing what had been interrupted, his hands falling back to your arse, pushing up your skirt, squeezing, as you tugged on his hair, making him groan. A single rational thought was trapped in the back of your mind, trying to breakthrough but it was hard to think when Ben was holding you like that, kissing you like that, especially after so long without being touched at all. He broke away to mouth at your throat and it was only then that you had enough time to think clearly. “Wait,” you said softly and then again more insistently. “What is it?” “What are we doing? We can’t,” “Why not?” You shook your head, and pushed yourself off of him, taking a couple of steps back, “It’s rule one Ben,” “We wouldn’t even have to break rule one though, we can just stay here on the couch. No harm in making out if we’ve already done it.” A whine caught in your throat and you took an extra half step back to keep from rushing into his arms again, more rational thoughts pushing through the broken wall and joining the first. You shouldn’t, not if there was any chance Ben still had a crush on you. It wouldn’t be fair. “I’d be good to you Y/N, you know I would,” You shook your head, “You know this isn’t real, right Ben?” “Of course I know that,” “Really? Because sometimes I think you forget I’m not actually in love with you.” What’s that supposed to mean?” You bit your lip to try and stop yourself from saying what you were about to say but it was no use, the words were already half out, “I heard you talking to Joe the night you left your keys at the bar. I know you have a crush on me.” “You heard that?” His eyes were wide, horrified. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overhear I just needed a drink an-.” “Oh my god,” He sat up straighter and ran a hand through his hair again and you wished it was your fingers mussing it up, “Maybe you should go.” “Wait, Ben, let’s just talk about it.” “Is that why you were upset before the argument? Is that why you didn’t want to see me for the last two weeks?” “I thought some space might help you stop feeling that way.” He laughed at that, “I’m – I’ve been trying to stop feeling like this for months now, since we were filming together, but I can’t, I can’t shake you. I love you. And it won’t go away.” “You love me?” Ben nodded, looking up at you from the couch but you couldn’t meet his eye. “You don’t have to say you don’t feel the same, I know.” You didn’t know what to say, just stood there, frozen in place. “That’s what I thought,” He stood up, chewing on his lip and when he spoke he had to clear his voice to make it loud enough for you to hear, “I, um, I know I just said you should leave but you can’t go yet. There are still paparazzi out there and we’re meant to look like we’ve made up. I’m going to go to bed though and you can stay until they leave or, if you can still stand to look at me, then you’re welcome to stay the night and I’ll drop you home in the morning. I’m really sorry.” You watched him walk towards the hallway, still frozen in place.

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #i'm fully ready to cop some shit for this one lmao

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oh-theatre · 5 years ago

Text

Objection!: Chapter 28

Chapter title: Two Unlikely Loves

A/n: Im sorry chapters have been shorter and they've been so bad im so so sorry im trying and im messing up and im just trying and im sorry for the awfulness that is this chapter. anyway here you go

First | Previous | Next

words: 2031

summary: Tensions run high as the courthouse is under siege

pairings: Eventual logicality, prinxiety, platonic demus, romantic remile

warnings: Murder mention, child murder, Law and Courtroom, swearing, blood, hospital, crime scene, murder, gun mention, guns, swearing, abuse, graphic descriptions, alcohol, shooting, crying

Ao3 Link

They all rushed in, practically tripping over one another.

“Patton!” They cry, all in different tones of utter concern. Not Logan however, he bides his time, avoiding eye contact as everyone gives their hearty hellos and tearful reliefs. “Why don't we give them some time?” He hears Barbara whisper, the group nods and somehow he's left alone in the awkward silence of an unusually quiet Patton. Realizing he hadn't said a word to anyone who had come in.

“Lo” he begins, Logan hears his voice finally and he understands what he feels. Anger, he wishes not to speak to Patton. Not now, not ever. “Logan” Patton tries again, the man can hear the softest break in his sweet tone. What was he thinking? How dare he ignore Patton.

He coughs, breaking his own silence but that's it. He will not make the first move, he should have been trusted. Why didn't he..”trust me?” He hadnt meant to let the words fall, he hadn't given them such permission.

“Oh starlight”

Damn Patton was good, he almost took to look at him. He continues to stare around the room, it felt bland, unlike his gorgeous eyes who he could find himself lost in. He listens, the shifting and sudden grunts of struggle catches him off guard. He turns, finding Patton's feet trembling as he clutches desperately to his IV line as he barely steps forward. Logan can see the pain and he finds himself completely in motion.

“Patton” He chides, rushing over he takes the shaking arms, situating the stubborn lawyer back on the edge of the bed. Kneeling in front of him with a deep breath of relief. “Do you enjoy bringing pain” Logan jokes, but finds no ease in Patton's face. The tears swell and he shakes his sorry head. “Oh sunshine” He sighs

“I'm so sorry” Patton laments, Logan, though slight, shakes his apology away. He leans up, taking the man's cheek, kissing him softly as they melt into one. God how he missed him. Patton deepend said kiss, not that either mind one bit.

“If you ever..” Logan begins, gasping for short breaths, his blush quite noticeable “Do that again..” Patton nods, understanding instantly.

“Not planning too...at least not this year” He shrugs, Logan nudges him, squeezing his leg sweetly. “C’mere” He gestures, they connect once more, it's soft and feels light in this heavy world. Once away, they allow their fingers to fiddle together, the puzzle just fits. It was their puzzle, years to find all the corner pieces but now it was their turn to fill in the middle. A quick gasp escapes Patton, he pushes gently on Logan. “The twins!�� He exclaims, was it some kind of sense?

“Papa!” They cry in unison, rushing into the room barreling through Logan. Both decide to speak the fastest they can muster, speeding through their weeks and adventures. Patton listens intently, his eyes hazing to a prideful Logan. He wasn't sure what came over him but the overwhelming feeling of simply breaking down was noticeable. Not to the twins, nor Emile….but Logan saw it instantly.

“Hey, why don't you both venture to the shops with Emile and pick out a nice gift for your father” Logan suggests, Patton trembles as he waves them a careful goodbye not sure how much longer he can hold up. Once the door shuts Logan works quick as Patton shatters. Seeing the twins was the breaking point, his head pounds. Logan helps the quiet man and his tears back into bed, once settled he cuddles Patton, a comforting rub to his harms and Patton clutches hard. Logan can feel the wet soak him but he doesn't care, nothing but Patton concerns him.

“I'm so sorry” He sniffles, barely audible through his almost fearful sobs. As if any louder and he could get in serious trouble...Logan's heart sunk. He pushes the image of Liam out of his mind kissing Patton's forehead. This was their room, area and moment. Nobody dare touch the ever fragile bubble. Ready to collapse, become delicate glass to fall. It takes awhile but the exhaustion sets in and Patton falls into it, releasing Logan before he does, giving him the freedom not to bear him down. Logan sighs sitting up, he checks the clock realizing he himself may have dozed off as well. The best sleep he had gotten in a month, though guilty he was so thankful for Patton being here, awake.

“Mm” He rubs his eyes, the bags becoming prominent under them. He doesn't flinch feeling Patton wrap his arms around Logan, laying his head on the lawyer's shoulder. A sweet kiss to his neck, a tingle he had missed sent down his back.

“You're exhausted” Patton identifies, connecting their hands. Logan scoffs, a smile with a tinge of truth however. “I'm here, you can rest Lo” Patton promises, soothing comfort down Logan's arm and cheek. Logan bites down, clenching his jaw so tight it begins to pulse. He avoids anything that will reflect his delicate state. Logan takes Patton's hand, kissing it but he isn't there. His mind floods with schedules and routines, meals and things he must do, children cries and joy.

And he loves it.

Yes he's drained, but all he can think of is the conversation he had with Patton eons ago. Thats how he felt, these children could take everything from him. Sleep, food, anything and hed smile with delight.

“I'd like to move in” Logan proposes, Patton chuckles into his shoulder. A tired smile accompanied with a nod. Logan takes this as his moment to convince, quickly preparing an argument but Patton has his own idea.

“And here I thought you already had” Patton laments, Logan yawns but hes amused. Something about the way he felt with Patton allowed him to enjoy it. Allowed him to just relax, always helps that Patton had taken to massaging Logan without a prompt. But out the window there he was, he knew Patton felt it, his shoulders tightened. “Dearest?” Patton hums, kissing him gently.

“We need to talk about Virgil”

~~~

“I want to see my little boy” Patton sings, Remy chuckles as Emile brings Thomas forth. Cradling the baby in Patton's arms.

“Here he comes” Emile teases, Patton giggles, joined by the baby soon enough.

“Oh my here he does, look at this angel” Patton coos, tickling ever so carefully his stomach, the both allowing themselves a moment with each other. The sweetness the child radiates is almost too much for Patton's weak heart. Soon enough everyone cycled in for their reunion. Logan stood protective by Patton the entire time, a hand on his shoulder and love infecting him. Patton was grateful.

The twins were impatient and they had every right to be, spending almost three hours with their father and Logan simply chatting away. Patton loved it,he loved cuddling Valerie while Remus explained his journeys, he loved Remus fiddling with his hair as Valerie recounted their days with Logan. And most of all he loved Logan. He loved that he got to share this with someone, someone who cared someone who he loved and who loved him back.

Soon enough the room darkened and Roman, after a copious check up and a thorough conversation volunteered to take them home for some rest.

“You are truly my hero” Patton teases, knowing that title was held by only one person. One person who was currently making sure the children were bundled up before they said their goodbyes. Roman gave him one last squeeze before leading them out followed by James who waves the door closed.

“You look exhausted” Logan notices, fluffing up Patton's pillow, making sure the lawyer remains cozy and comfortable. Patton takes his cheeks as he leans in and plants a quick kiss on him. He pulls away, getting prepared to take his sleep, Logan smiles timidly planting a kiss on his head before finally releasing his overbearing care. Not that Patton minds. Logan sets up in the chair next to him, turning the night light on and flipping quietly through a book.

It remains peaceful and still for awhile, Logan almost dozes off with his blanket sprawled around him. But as the clock strikes eleven thirty, the door slides open. And of course panic sets in, why were the doctors here and so late at night? But when the gruff boots and purple jacket reflected on the light, Logans panic set in even more.

“Virgil” Logan identifies in a whisper, the detective meets his eyes. The bags are prominent. But his boiling hatred was fiery. “He's sleeping” Logan scolds, folding up his blanket and putting the book on the shelf. “Where were you all day?” Logan goes, quickly back tracking. “Actually no, I don't care”

“Lo be nice” Patton mumbles through his pillow, the pair jump and Logan joins his side quickly. He wipes his eyes sitting up, allowing Logan to serve him water, taking it gratefully. Virgil wants to come forward, his head pulsed as his eyes laid on Patton. He missed him so much, but Logans glare stopped him. “Thank you starlight” Patton put his glass back, and Virgil adored the casualness of their physical connection, the nicknames and the fact that Logans and Pattons hands were connected. But he hated that he couldn't enjoy this right now. “Heya Virge” Patton swallows, something forced down.

“Pat..” Virgil breathes, he wants to gush but something holds him back. Patton bit his lower lip, he extended his arms, motioning for Virgil to come forth. The breath that escaped Virgil lifted the pressure from his chest.

“Patton no” Logan reminds, he doesn't mean to be controlling but he cares for Patton more than he can describe.

“Logan come on” Virgil sighs. Patton clutches his blankets knowing hes only doing this out of confrontation and his fear of such. But with what Logan told him...shouldn't he be mad?

He was

He was painfully hurt

“What did you tell him?” Virgil points as Patton refocuses.

“The honest truth and what I found Patton should know” Logan explains. Patton takes his hand, feeling the sweat build. Logan takes the signal and finds himself breathing with relaxation. “You took the money, you and Remy took the money” He lays out flat. “When Patton came to you about Liam you should have done something” Logan spits “Instead, like everyone else in that goddamn precinct you took Liams vile money and kept your mouth shut” Logan reveals, Virgil averts his guilty eyes. Patton twinges, clasping tighter to Logan.

“Patton let me just..I…” Virgil feels something clamp tight in his throat. He has an explanation but nothing worth Patton's forgiveness. “You said you h-had a plan and you were gonna leave i thought, its just a little longer and Damian and I-”

“Virgil are you fucking kidding?” Logans voice remains quiet but it seethes, Patton struggles but sits up pulling Logan closer to him.

“Dearest, language” He whispers sweetly, wiping the sweat away from Logans hot head. “Its ok, I'm okay and you're okay and the twins and Damian and virge...everyones ok” Patton rambles, Logan softens at the soft breaths he takes. Idiot, he punishes. Patton was tired, he was shaking ever so slightly.

“Im so sorry Pat, I should go” And he does, Virgil gives him one more apologetic look before slamming the door away. Patton releases an exasperated breath before falling back into his pillow. How many times was he going to cry today?

“Love?” Logan sits with him, Patton cant conjure up words he simply shakes his head, the tears flow. Logan adjusts so he cradles Patton, a gentle lullaby his hummed to him as he remembers every time a touch had never felt so loving, and filled with pain instead. “I love you so very much” He promises, he was so glad Patton took that from him.

I dont think Id want to give that to anyone else

Soon enough, the pair was comfortably asleep, both with dreams...or nightmares of their own. But together, and surely they wouldn't let the other be hurt, not again, not ever again.

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ad1thi · 5 years ago

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a regular clark kent

based on AMAZING art by @anthon-e, which i asked to use a reference so long enough that my url was different (hi its tcnystcnks!! as you can see ive rebranded, im so sorry this took so long).

Tony loved that he owned a bookstore

Genuinely

He saved up for three years working tables at Ms Carter’s diner, before he had enough to buy the storefront across the street on the corner of 5th and Main from Rhodey, who had generously been holding for him - all the while saying “Tones you can just use the store you don’t need to buy it off me I’ll give it to you for free” - but Tony had 18 years of people giving him things (before he refused to work for SI and his dad cut him off) , and he wanted to earn this

It took about 5 weeks of work, but Stark Scrolls opened on the 26th of January

That had been 4 years and 8 months ago

Tony was man enough to admit that initially customers came in because everyone wanted to see where the Stark Heir had finally ended up, but now - he’d like to think that people came for his books

He kept an extensive collection of both fiction and non fiction books, and he famously sold university and college textbooks for a steal

(not to mention that a lot of them were second hand, and came with notes and doodles on the side from previous owners)

After his first year, he expanded to the next store over and added a coffee shop; because MIT students had given up looking for space in the library and were frequently sitting in the aisles of his store to study

He had a couple regulars - and one of them, Peter Parker, was even working part time to help pay off his student loans

He loved being a bookstore owner

A fact that was particularly hard to remember at this exact moment, because he was stretching on his tiptoes (while already on a ladder) to reach a box that Rhodey had stashed away while he was on leave - clearly not accounting for the difference in height between him and Tony

“Excuse me?” a voice underneath him startles Tony, and he looses balance - falling face first down to the ground

Tony closes his eyes and braces for impact - that never comes

Automatically, his hands wrap around the solid body thats clutching him, and he opens his eyes closely - one after another as he comes to grips with the fact that he didn’t just die

He’s in the arms of possibly the most attractive man he’s ever met, bright blue eyes and gorgeous blond hair

Tony’s close enough to count the freckles decorating his face, and he can feel himself turning rapidly red

“Hi,” the man says warmly, clearly oblivious to Tony’s inner monologue, “I’m Steve”

“You can put me down now Steve,” Tony says with a squeak, feeling the air return to his lungs when Steve reacts instantly and sets him down

“Sorry about that,” Steve says sheepishly, “I didn’t mean to startle you”

“I’m Steve,” he says again, “I just moved into the neighbourhood and Ms Carter said that you were someone to get to know”

Steve makes a show of looking him up and down, which does nothing to dampen Tony’s blush, “she was definitely right”

Fin

in case anyone’s interested, i do have another bookshop au called take a page out of my book, where toni seduces bucky with her shameless supply of erotica

#stevetony #superhusbands #steve rogers x tony stark #steve/tony #my writing #a regular clark kent #there was gonna be a lot more to this but it just sounded really bad and like i was unneccessarily dragging it out #so i ended it here #hope you like it op!!#anyway tony is shy and we love it #pre slash #meet cute #flirty steve

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iris-ymir · 4 years ago

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...The morning after

Evangeline trotted through the hallway, and turned into the kitchen, pushing open the door to immediately be faced by Iris' lithe and slender back, covered only by a very transparent nightgown. The woman wasn't wearing much else...skimpy lace lingerie...and was holding a cup of coffee which was slowly releasing steam into the air around her. Evangeline stopped, frozen in place for the second time this morning, but this time for a very different reason. "I....uhh...s-sorry..." she stammered, flushing immediately. "I d-didn't know...you were awake...I hope you didn't have too much trouble sleeping..." She shuffled her feet, trying not to look at the slope of Iris' back, the curve of her hips, the nape of her neck... Eva promptly realized that she was doing exactly that-tracing the lines of Iris' body with her eyes, unable to look away. Iris was so thin...she looked to be a willow branch, flexible in nature, ready to bend should it need to, but never break. It was then that Eva saw...one of the things that she found truly attractive about Iris. She was resilient. She had been through so much...lost so much...been so thoroughly hurt by the world...but she had not broken. She would not break. Evangeline was in awe of it...the power she exuded. She shook her head, attempting to clear it, and tried to speak. “I...um...I-I was about to...make myself some breakfast. C-can I make you something?” She stared at the ground, still flushing, hoping Iris would respond. Iris turned around, hearing Eva’s voice from the doorway. “Oh, Cinnabun! Suprised to see yer still stickin’ around... ’Ow the ‘ell do ya dink someone can sleep in dis frickin’ ruckus, though? Tha annoyin’ clapper of dat roegadyn’s lips would wake up the heckin’ corpses...” Suddenly Iris heard the steps from the stairs. During the years in manor, she had learned to recognize Varg’s way of striding. The old au ra did his best to not draw attention to his bad leg, but if you knew what to listen to, you could hear a very slight limp on his footsteps. After one last swift draw, pale viera tossed what was left of the cigarette into the sink, fanning the air around her with a sleeve of her dressing gown to get rid of the smoke, and hopefully, the smell.

With a relieved sigh, Iris circled her way around the table, and leaned onto the other side of it, her eyes traveling up and down on Eva’s body. An impish smirk played on her lips, as her eyes finally nailed onto woman’s purple pools. “Breakfast, ya say? Seein’ somethin’ appetizing? Hm?” Viera let her dressing gown drop casually off her shoulder, while taking a sip, keeping her eyes on Eva, over the rim of her cup. “...I dun need anythin’, Cinnabun. Its too heckin’ early to get any food stuff down aniway... I’ll just... get done wid dis...”, she tipped her cup towards her companion. “...And den I’ll be off. Gonna see mi Silke... Mi fallen angel should be havin’ a day off, and Im gonna drag dat purdiful nose of ‘ers off tha damn books for a change! I need to get outta ‘ere... I cant stand dat damn roegadyn in mi fockin’ eyes...”

Evangeline listened passively to Iris, crossing her arms and cocking her head to the side as she saw the pale woman trail off, seeming to be listening for something. Eva paid it no mind, however...her senses weren’t particularly sharp and the sound of the others carrying on was more than enough to drown out anything she might have picked up on. Iris didn’t look scared, or worried, which was the important part. Her eyes followed the viera as she moved down from the table, her jaw going slightly slack as Iris dropped her dressing gown. She knew Iris was playing games...but Evangeline rather liked this one. “Ah..appetizing? Y-yes…” slipped from her mouth without her realizing it. “I mean-!” She hurridly corrected herself. “I had thought to look in the pantry…t-to see if there were eggs or anything.” She chewed on her lip, her eyes still following Iris’ lithe form as she attempted to remove her foot from her mouth for the hundredth time. “I’m not the best cook...but I can get something together…” she mused, trailing off as Iris mentioned ‘Silke.’ Evangeline’s blood ran cold...Iris’ fallen angel? Who could this be…? It sounded like she was at least a woman...not another gods-damned man...but did there always have to be competition? After a few seconds of considering, feeling her chest tighten, she knew she had to ask. “Silke? Who’s that?” She intoned, as casually as she could muster. “Who? Mi Silke..?”, an impish smile lingered on Iris’ black-painted lips, as she rolled the shoulder strap around her finger. She had cut the two broken nails short, and painted them red, instead of her usual black. “Silke.. Silke is mi... friend. My muse... Mine... She just... does not quite realize it just yet, but she will be! The skin as pale as a porcelain doll.. ‘er hair long and dark, like the vast sea at midnight.. And dose torquoise eyes! Like a heckin’ lagoon ya could just drown into. Fockin’ dazzlin’ lass. Tha best heckin’ ass from ‘ere to Limsa Lominsa, I tell ya... A goddess among rats, Cinnabun..” Pale viera walked up to her partner, gazing up to those purple pools through her thick lashes. “Ya should come wid mi, sweetie... Hm?”, while talking softly, she ran her fingernails up on Eva’s toned arm, trailing her way up onto her shoulder. “Ya know... I might ‘ave an idea!”, she tiptoed placing a quick kiss on other’s lips, before taking a step back. The scent of the cigarette she just finished still lingered on her breath.. with something else. “Yer gonna take a shower, okai? Yer... in need o’ one. And while at dat, I’ll whip ya sum breakfast, okai? Believe mi or not... Im quuuite ‘andy in tha scullery! Den ya eat yer fill... And wi ‘ead out! Hm? Whuddu-ya sai?” Iris winks, turning around swiftly, and making her way to the stove, and soon the light of flames started to dance on her pale skin. She pulled out another cigarette with her lips, carefully lighting it on the stove, and picked up a large knife. “...So... How do ya wunt yer yello’ eyes, Cinnabun?” The tip of the cigarette jumped up and down merrily, as she spoke. Evangeline bit her lip. This was exactly what she had feared…’friend’ most certainly seemed to mean ‘competition’ in this context. Eva had yet to hear the deathly pale Iris complement anyone so flagrantly, nor had she ever expressed any interest in possessing someone. This would be...a difficult situation. Evangeline could feel that little monster writhing around in her stomach. Covered in spines, pricking at her when she least expected it, crawling up her ribs and poking around inside her. Jea-lou-sy. An emotion that Eva was very much familiar with. It had cost her her previous relationship...or so she would assume. Eventually Solenna may come looking for her...but with her new boy occupying her? She doubted it. Eva wasn’t worth the effort...not worth the attention. She felt suddenly as if she were made of molasses, weary even as the little green beast scuttled through her innards. Was this truly how she should spend her day? Wouldn’t it be better to let Iris have her time with her ‘friend?’ To not interfere? Evangeline had said she wouldn’t try and tie Iris down, or cage her...she had made that promise. She should stand by it, and let the other woman go about her business. She had almost resolved to gently excuse herself from the situation when...a shiver ran down her spine at Iris’ touch. Ya should come wid mi, sweetie...Hm? Gods...damn...it. She couldn’t say no to this woman. Iris’ lips touched hers, bringing heat rushing to her cheeks and her finger to her lips, cementing her fate. She listened quietly as Iris rattled off her ideas, seemingly in a rather good mood this morning. She was on the verge of responding, telling Iris she preferred her eggs sunny side up, when Arsene drifted into the room, causing Eva to stammer and pause, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly. Butler squinted eyes quickly observed the surroundings, spotting the two Vieras. Iris' current state of clothing, a knife on one hand, and a lit cigarette between her lips made the old Elezen tilt his head slightly, yet no trace of emotion to one way or another could be read from his face. Arsene strode hastily to one of the windows, slamming it open with one hand. He then proceed to take a pot of hot water, pouring the content into a cup with a string of teabag hanging over the rim. He let out a sigh, slowly turning to face the women once more, observing the situation. "Forgive me, miss Iris, miss Evangelin, for my intrusion," he said, now with a warm smile on his lips, "but you should be aware that you only need to ask, should you require any sort of.. Specialities to your ordinary breakfast, that I could provide you with." “Oh, Im mighty-fine, Gramps!”, Iris placed a pan on dancing flames, while rolling the knife around on her fingers, like a street performer. As the pan was hot, she added a piece of butter and broke three eggs onto it, using her free hand. For a person who looked like cooking plain water was all she could do, she handled the eggs well, managing to break them without getting a single piece of shell onto the pan. While shedding some ashes into the sink, she poked the bubbling eggs with the tip of her knife, wiggling her hips languorously. “...Ohhh fockin’ ‘ell!! Graa-aamps! I need a heckin spatula! I ‘ave.. a situation goin’ on ‘ere! Uhh.. shiteclippers!” Hissing a curse through her teeth, pale viera moved the pan off the flames, while dumping the cigarette onto the edge of the sink. “...Aand.. sum o’ dat ace bacon, if we still ‘ave it? And.. A bun! Yass.. A heckin’ bagel! Goat cheese! For fock’s sake... Evangelin’! Tha frickin’ chicken squirts! How do ya take dem, sweetie?! ‘Cause soon tha only option is damn crispy!” As Iris started to fumble, still trying to flip the eggs with a knife for some reason, Evangeline looked back to her, and barely managed to utter: “Scrambled...thank you, Iris. I’ll…” She paused, trying very hard to make the right decision, and proceeding to fail miserably. “I would...love to join you...it would be nice to meet your friend.” She gritted her teeth slightly, but didn’t make much of a show of it. The creature in her stomach clawed away…and something occurred to her. Perhaps it would calm down if she at least met this ‘Silke.’ Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t...right? Might as well find out if she had a shot, at least. At being something. Feeling like she was something. She smiled slightly at Iris. “Thank you for making me something, Iris. I appreciate the effort...could I trouble either of you for directions to a bath or a shower? I could use a bit of a refresher…” She ran her fingers through her hair, still somewhat slick with sweat. Definitely not showing off her arms in the process. Well, maybe a little bit. Arsene kept his eyes peeled at Iris' effort at the knifeplay for a short moment, then gliding next to her, to open the drawer right beside her. He picked up, and rolled the spatula in his fingers, then softly placed it very close to the steaming pan, using his little finger to knock the dumped cigarette bud into the sink with the same motion."Use the poker, young miss, calm the flames.." he said with a velvety tone in his voice. He took a long step leftwards, pulling a thick cloth from on top of a pile of rather large, fresh buns, still steaming slightly. "Feel free to eat as many as you wish, Master Blacksoul has already left.. Add some salt now, young miss." Arsene opened a small shelf-door, revealing a large variety of spices. He picked up a small jar, placing it close to where he had just placed the spatula. Arsene shifted his gaze to Evangelin, his lips turned into a smile. "Of course, miss Evangelin. I shall guide you personally to the bathing rooms, while I go get the meat, and some herbal butter for young miss Iris' bagel.." Arsene looked back to Iris, his eyes gleaming in the flames. Placing the knife onto table, Iris picked up the poker, turning her gaze to Eva. “Eyyyy! Cinnabun! Ya want mi to... calm yer flames?”, she waved the poker at the other, before sticking it into the furnace under the stove. “Talkin’ about dat... Do ya also ‘ave flame flowers growin’ in yer secret garden, or only on top of yer ‘ead? ...Scrambled it is! ...I think dats the only choise wi ‘ave at dis point aniway... Ohhh, for fock’s sake, the heckin’ salt! Thanke, Gramps!!” Viera returned the pan on the stove, adding some salt, before going through the open spice cabinet. After shuffling through the jars for a moment, opening one from here and there, she picks out some pepper mix and paprika compote. Humming a cheerful tone, she reached for the knife, cut a bagel in half, and applied some compote onto it, before toppling it with the scrambled eggs. “Ohhh yissss, dis will be perfect.. Dont ya float in dere for too long, Cinnabun.. Yer meal will get cold, ya know!” Iris glanced towards Eva for one last time with a playful wink, as she made her way to the coffee pot, filling it with fresh water. Evangeline thought to blush at ‘calm your flames’, but was briefly given pause by Iris’ mention of her ‘secret garden…’ It took her a moment to realize what the other woman meant, watching as she cavorted around the kitchen, a nymph, lithe and joyful, bouncing around as if she had cooked for all her life. Then it occurred to her just exactly what Iris had asked her...and her face immediately turned as red as her hair. It occurred to her that taking a seat on the spot may not be a bad idea, since she felt as if she were liable to faint at any moment. “I-...j-...don-...you…” She was barely able to form words at this point, she was so thoroughly embarrassed. This seemed to be the norm around here...given how Arsene had barely reacted. Eva, it seemed...would need to get used to this. Twelve, though...it wasn’t even what was said, entirely. It was the person that said it. The looks Iris gave. Her body language...the way she moved was just so...Evangeline couldn’t finish the sentence, even in her own mind. It flustered her. Threw her off balance. Eva buried her face in her hands, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart, to find words...something she could say to save even a small amount of face. “T-twelve...Iris...m-must you ask such personal questions…” she stuttered from behind a wall of her own fingers, pulling herself under control at last. She grasped at Arsene’s arm, pleading to him. “The bath...please...if you don’t mind.” As she turned to leave the room, though, something occurred to her. The words escaped her mouth without her realizing, vocalizing her thoughts before she could stop them. “You should know t-the answer anyways…” She clapped a hand over her mouth, unable to stop the sentence before it burst from between her teeth, a dam collapsing in the face of a raging river. Blushing furiously, her hand still covering her mouth, she stepped from the room, the entirety of her willpower focused on stopping herself from thoughtlessly fleeing, hoping to all twelve gods that Arsene wouldn't share this with her new potential employer. “Red like tha flames of dat burnin’ church bench!! And twice as sinful...” Iris broke into a flagrant laugh, as the blushing viera was guided out of the kitchen. Her laugh would still echo on the hallway, as the old elezen walked the redhead towards the large bathrooms. As the water in the pot started to boil, Iris added in several spoonfulls of freshly grinded coffee, soon moving the pot off the flames. The delicious scent of fresh coffee filled the kitchen, fading away what was left of the pungent cigarette smoke. A slight, impish smile lingered on viera’s lips, as she poured herself a cup. Everything was going according to the plan. For now at least. Just a couple more pulls and the hook would pierce deep into Eva’s heart. Deep in the maze of webs Iris had so lovingly weaved. Did she actually feel bad for the girl though? Everyone who ever stepped into this cursed building got their life ruined.. their whole being rotting from inside out... This place slowly ate away your soul. Varg’s... her own... the only one seeminly unaffected of the curse was the old Elezen... but maybe the man was more of a servant to the curse, than an actual victim. Taking a sip, Iris disgarded the thought. How was it her problem in the first place? She had never brought Evangeline into this place. The woman had walked here with her own two feet. Blindfolded, like a lamb to the slaughter... It was not Iris’ problem, if the woman was to turn into yet another victim of the Blacksoul manor. Or was it?

A while later, Arsene returned into the kitchen. On one hand he was carrying a slim paper package, from the grease stains on the paper one could imagine the package contained the meat Iris was after, for her breakfast that is. On the other hand he held a fine clay jar, filled with goat cheese mixed with herbs. Without as much as saying a word, Arsene walked through thekitchen, and placed the requested ingredients onto the table next to Iris. The old Elezen took a deep breath through his nose, his eyes closed. The scent of smoke from the firewood, and the steam from the fried eggs had well enough covered the stench of cigarette in the kitchen. Arsene opened his eyes, andmoved his gaze to the open window, then reaching his hand to close it once again. Arsene looked at Iris' direction, a gentle, yet in a way melancholic smile on his lips. Arsene turned around, to softly lean against the table on which he had placed the cheese and meat,still holding his gaze nailed at the Viera. Giving a quick side-glance towards old elezen, Iris threw some meat onto the pan, which soon started to hiss like an elderly snake. The bacon did not take long to finish on the already hot pan. When it had gained some crisp, pale viera poured it on top of the pagel, to make company for scrambled eggs, finishing the whole thing with a huge spoonful of goat cheese. “The heck is takin’ so long..? We should get movin’, for fock’s sake..”, she muttered to herself, giving a glance towards the old clock, standing in the corner of a kitchen. She was sure the clock itself had been here long before Varg arrived to Ishgard... or so it looked like.With a sigh, Iris picked up the plate, rolling fork and knife into a napkin, and was about to head to the bathroom, as her eyes catched the look on Arsene’s face. “Uhhhh... Im... Ya know... Im heckin’ sorry for the mess... Aniway, Im just gonna.. make sure tha damn damsel in distress has not drowned ‘erself into tha tub or anythin’...” She made her way to the doorway, and before stepping into the corridor, she gave one last glance towards the elezen, a slight smile lingering in her black lips. “...Thanks, Granpa.” And with that, Iris disappeared from the doorway, heading towards the bathroom.

#storytime!#rp written into a story #the Iris within #Evangeline Cross #Arsene Dreadeois #Eva keeps blushing.. and blushing.. and blushing some more...#poor woman being tormented..#Following morning from Long nights and dancing flames

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wychive · 4 years ago

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tagged by : @neo-shitty (toffee! ilysm hehe)

tagging: @noya-sannnn , @vitriosan , @hwanami , @luthenia and anyone else who wants to participate

slight warning : mentions of food

this is kind of long so it can help you relax if you want to do this!

[ one ] tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

wave // ateez

when jane showed me and fely (she already stanned ateez) the mv i was like :00 this song is really good and it goes with my type of music; pumped up and really fun. i decided that i wanted to stan them because of this introduction video that they did during pirate king where san broke the toy hammer trying to smack yunho’s ass SHHSSIJS,, i found them really funny and comforting! they made me so happy and that’s why they attracted me so much. + their amazing music ofc

forever // exo

alright so i originally just casually listened to exo from wolf era up till 2017 when the kokobop teasers came out. they looked really pretty and so i watched them up till kkb was released. it’s what baekhyun’s voice in the forever teaser that captured me into stanning them. everything about the exo’s attracted me, their vocals, their dancing and ofc their visuals. bonus: their time on the ‘360 show(??)’! im not sure of the actual name for the programme but it was where yixing kept pronouncing jurassic park wrong pls that was so cute and funny how could you NOT stan them!

[ two ] answer the ten questions given by the previous person and write 10 of your own for the next person!

what’s your favorite season and why?

we only have two types of seasons here but if this includes western seasons, i would pick spring! flowers give me a sense of calmness whenever they start to bloom so being in a season where it’s just different coloured plants all around you? sign me up pls

are you a cat person or a dog person?

im a cat person! i currently have two cats as pets

what’s your current favorite song and why can’t you stop listening to it?

it would probably be fever by ateez! this is because it gives off freedom vibes and i’ve been stressed lately so the song is a little oasis for me

if you had the ability to do either of the following, would you rather change something in the past or see into the future?

i would choose to see into the future so that i could change what i do now, whether its related to me being lazy or me being selfish,, i would like to keep the past the way it is even if i had some scarring moments. it’s nice to look back on those and see how far you’ve come as a person.

what’s your favorite movie?

my favorite movie would either be spirited away or paper towns,, i actually don’t have a favorite movie because all of them have affected my life in different ways so yea :D

what did miss rona ruin for you this 2020?

probably the food fair this year,, my group of best friends were supposed to go there to celebrate jane and another friend’s birthday. the food fair happens yearly so it wasn’t anything big to anyone else, but to us it was something special. there are a lot more things but this was one of the major things she ruined :/

what’s your favorite album? (you can name one for each genre you like or you can just name one, it’s up to you.)

toffee why my top three would be day6’s sunrise, bts’ you never walk alone and lauv’s ~how i’m feeling~

if you could talk to your past self (person who lived your past life), what would you tell them?

“hey, dude, i hope you’re doing okay. stop being so selfish all the time alright? and stop comparing yourself to others, it wouldn’t do you any justice. make sure to spread A LOT of positivity even if no one acknowledges it. its okay to cry sometimes too. is my soulmate doing okay? i hope they are. i’ll make sure to find them in this timeline, and the next. whatever it takes. learn to love yourself.”

do you have a go-to person? who is it?

uh i dont have a go-to person,, i can’t vent or rant without feeling like burdening the other person or spreading negativity to them. instead i just kind of rant to myself on discord.

if you could tell your younger self something, what would you say?

“hey, kiddo. don’t fall in love too much nor fool around. it’ll affect you badly. appreciate the things your parents do for you, okay? don’t take anything for granted. ignore the people who call you names, they don’t matter here in the future. just be you.”

how do you spend your free time?

who or what is your biggest inspiration?

if you were a character in a horror movie, which stereotype do you closely resemble? and why?

your top 3 fanfiction tropes! (can be nsfw)

do you believe in soulmates and why?

painting or sketching and why?

what is on the top of your to-do list right now?

list down the top 3 things that make you happy.

who are you simping for right now?

what is your first core memory?

[ three ] bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

[ four ] the ultimate tag: answer whichever ones you want to because there are a lot.

personal

name: [REDACTED], alachi nickname: teja, kai birthday: april 11 zodiac: aries nationality: malaysian languages: english, malay, learning korean gender: female sexuality: biromantic height: 160 cm / 5"2’ or 5"3’

blog stuff

inspiration for muse: music, other people’s work meaning behind my url: fever (current fav song) + core (aesthetic??) blog established: around 2018 but i started becoming active in late 2019/early 2020 followers: 146 ( i love you all )

favorites

favorite animal/s: anything connected to the cat species favorite book/s: the authentics (abdi nazemian), satellite (nick lake) favorite color/s: lighter shades/mid-tones of cool colours, a dash of yellow

random

average hours of sleep: 6 cats or dogs: cats coffee, tea or hot chocolate: tea current time: 11:34 pm dream trip: south korea, japan, europe dream job: song producer, lyric writer hobbies: listening to music, browsing the internet hogwarts house: ravenclaw last movie watched: harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban last song listened to: no. of blankets you sleep with: 1 random fact(s): my favourite subjects are biology and english!

[ five ] 10 songs i can’t stop listening to:

eternally - txt

fever - ateez

blue - keshi

lights out - exo

00:00 - bts

strawberries and cigarettes - troye sivan

maze in the mirror - txt

i loved you - day6

illusion - ateez

stolen moments - the vamps

#this took wayyy too long hhh #but thank you to toffee for tagging me <333 #tag game #tumblr game #kpop #about alachi !#alachi thingz #alachi's bffs!

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smellycinnamonthundahfudge · 5 years ago

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5 gifts peter got for mj and 1 she gave him

im still alive bishes haha. am i really just choosing to participate in a different prompt that i barely have anything planned out for instead of finishing the one i was late in following up on? yes i am. prep urselves for some gift giving spideychelle to develop their relationship pre-ffh hehe

after hoco and peter starts to gain a work spidey life balance, he finally starts to notice that mj apparently... cares... about... him???

it wasn't obvious at first, hidden under a layer of deadpan sarcasm and witty comebacks, but the interest seemed to be there

which was why every time peter would miss a meeting, he'd actually feel bad this time because he really did want to be there this time

he'd feel terrible every time mj would ask him where he was, why he didn't show up. she was hoping he'd show and he let her down.

the first couple of times it happens, mj's understanding enough.

but it happens a couple of times too often and back to back and something snaps

you see, peter and mj have developed a bit of a rapport over the couple of months after hoco.

peter finds out mj likes coffee and tea, she read a stephen king book one time, he noticed, and they talked basically all week about king (and some of the issues surrounding him, his work, and their adaptations ofc)

soon enough their talks extend beyond school and they start meeting up in the library, at their places, at coffee shops, pizza places, an arcade one time where mj managed to beat peter at air hockey. her lil energetic whoop and almost doing a victory dance (before realizing she was in public) was worth losing for.

but admittedly, peter was just a tinge bit stressed and overextended and he unfortunately let his time with mj fall by the wayside.

he'd accidentally left her at seen for days after he completely forgot she sent him a message. she called, he answered, a robber was currently running away from some cops, he hung up on her...

suffice it to say, peter became a bit of a bad friend and he completely understood why mj reverted back to their previous relationship, he did it first

which was why peter decided enough was enough

mj has been a great friend to him, a true one, and an underappreciated one at that

which was why he decided he'd spend as much time, effort, and thoughtful gestures necessary trying to make it up to her

problem was, they were currently on clipped one word reply speaking terms right now. mj barely looked at him, she went back to sitting all the way to the other side of the farthest table during lunch again...

he needed a way in

so he went back to basics, the next day, he knew mj had a 7 am class so peter went to school at 7 am too, just to give mj some much needed caffeine

trouble was, was that mj was running late and when he gave the coffee, she left just as quick as she came

she said a quick "thanks, parker" and swoosh she sprinted to class

and peter was left there with 3 hours to spare til his next class. oh well, at least the effort made her do that quick lil toothy smirk

his efforts would work eventually won't it?

but if an omniscient narrator were watching him for the following days, they probably would have said no, no they wouldn't

one of those days, peter brought a thermos of tea only to find that mj had brought her own

"great, i thought the point of these gifts were to make things less awkward between us" peter thought to himself as he winds up walking away in slight shame from the awkward interaction

he winds up sharing the thermos with ned instead, who promptly responded "wow i get your secondhand gifts, you sure know how to make a guy feel special, peter"

"shut up, ned, do you want some or not?"

"no, come on, give it to me. free drinks are free drinks even if it's essentially just warm leaf juice. besides, i heard this helps with a sore throat."

"well, at least someone's happy with my gift"

they clink their cups together and peter begins brainstorming his next probably bound to fail gift idea

as he was walking home from school that day, and saw mj heading to the library, said idea lights up in his head in the form of bookmarks

those were cute right? and mj would probably use em all the time cus she reads so much and she reads multiple books at a time, so she'd probably use multiple bookmarks as well, right?

bookmarks it was, peter decided

he thought he'd print a bunch of personalized ones. ones that were photos of them, had quotes from significant historical female figures, and of course science puns

he knew mj didn't appreciate them as much as he did, but a part of him thought she'd like them nevertheless and would think of him when she'd use them

peter knew this gift giving crusade would be... heavy on his wallet, but as he stared at the price for laminating a couple of personalized bookmarks. he concluded lamination was a scam and believed mj would be careful enough with her books, and consequently, her bookmarks, to not need some flimsy piece of plastic to protect it

so peter opted for some folders and cardboard to make said bookmarks instead

it's only later after he got tossed into a sewer by a dude in a mechanized rhinoceros suit that he learned a valuable lesson: always laminate bookmarks

ok he was kidding (lamination was still a scam and bad for the environment and you couldnt write on the things after you laminate em)

but really tho, he did learn something. he realized he hasn't had the best of luck keeping his gifts intact in time to give said gifts to mj

so he decided to employ reinforcements

once peter's saved enough money to buy his next gift (a sketch notebook that he saw at a cutesy old crafts store), he decides that he should take ned with him when he buys it and that ned should just give it to mj instead

(better safe than sorry)

but peter still wanted mj to know the gift was from him tho, so he decided to write a letter and insert it within the notebook.

so he writes, or more like incoherently rambles and apologizes really

but peter thinks he got to the crux of the importance their relationship had to him and really, he just wanted to make things up to mj

that's what mattered

here's the thing tho, halfway thru writing said letter, he realized that having ned give it to her was kind of a cop out.

not to mention, not giving it personally but writing this long ass sort of confessional letter?

pfftt peter liked to think he was better than that

talk about sending mixed messages

so peter decided that he would still have ned keep the notebook and the letter, right up until the point that he was going to give the gifts to her.

and finally, peter parker, in this whole gift giving crusade, is finally given a fucking break.

at lunch time, the three of them are now all sitting at the same table

(peter and mj's relationship have mostly improved in the time it took him trying to give all those gifts, but he still felt guilty and he still wanted to show his appreciation for her)

ned "slyly" (mj saw it, how sly could he have been?) passes peter the notebook under the table

and peter braces himself

"i can do this" he repeatedly quietly mutters to himself until he finally approaches

"hey, mj"

"greetings, parker" casually replies mj without so much as looking up from her book

"i uh... got you something"

"is it something ned gave you?"

"what?"

"cause if it is, he can give it to me himself, you know" says mj in a semi shout to ned as well (ned looks at peter with a facial expression that said dude wtff?? how did i get in the middle of this???)

"what? no no no this isn't from ned. i bought you this."

"so why did ned have it?" says mj in her cool suave investigator mj interrogatory tone

"well..."

peter had officially maybe five? six? seconds to decide whether to share his embarrassing tales of failed gift giving woes to mj or to make up something on the spot

screw it, embarrassing failed gifts it was instead. truth shall set you free and all that, right? plus maybe it'd help him practice for when he tells her his biggest secret

peter sighs in defeat and tells mj in an almost quiet mumble "all my other gifts were destroyed when i kept them so i decided to have ned keep them instead"

"i'm sorry what?"

"it's just that the last time i tried to get you a gift, it just wound up getting ruined so i thought i'd just have ned hold onto it until it was time to give it to you."

peter can barely look mj in the eyes, the cafeteria just seems so interesting all of a sudden.

"oh"

that made peter look back at mj cus she seemed... shocked?

mj is.... shocked????

"soo... you bought that... for me?"

and god forsake peter parker because mj just gave him the cutest shyest little happy smile that he never knew she was capable of having.

"yeah yeah i did" and peter finally gets to give mj his gift/s (im counting the letter as the 5th gift cus im lazy af hahaha) and all the other trials and errors and failed gift attempts completely made the end result worth it

until ofc mj opens the damn thing and finds said letter that peter had completely forgotten at the moment was there

"what's this??" mj asks in an overly sarcastic teasing tone that kinda makes peter want to die

as mj opens the letter right there during lunch in the school cafeteria, peter suddenly lunges to block said letter's contents from mj's sight

"petet what the hell are you doing?" asks mj with the sweetest laughter that peter would totally googoo eyes about at any other moment had he not been focused on trying (and obviously failing) to keep his dignity intact

"uhhh can i ask that you just read that some other time, mj? and uh not right here, right now, in the cafeteria? it's just really embarrassing" peter shyly requests of mj, scratching his neck and looking at everything in the cafeteria but her

to that, mj simply has a sympathetic look on her face in reply

"sure, peter" says mj with a reassuring smile

and with that, peter breathes a big sigh of relief and finally lets go of his feelings letter for mj

mj closes the notebook up, keeping the letter safe inside it in the process, and secures the notebook safe inside her bag inmediately

suffice it to say, for mj, that notebook is precious cargo and she shall treasure it as much as she is capable of treasuring something

because peter parker felt guilty over not getting to spend time with her as much as they did and kind of pushing her to the sidelines and so it was just a genuine thoughtful gesture that showed peter valued their friendship/relationship as much as she valued it

PRECIOUS. CARGO.

but speaking of said cargo...

"hey peter"

"yeah?"

peter had gone back to his seat right next to ned

"sooo what was the other gift you tried to give me?" asks mj, getting back to their playful teasing banter ways

mj's question sends peter facepalming himself with the table

"don't think i've forgotten about that, i'm probably not going to stop investigating til i find out so might as well just spill the truth, parker"

peter stops his repetitive headbanging onto the table and sighs

"fine, mj"

and peter goes on to explain his bookmarks idea beginning all the way from the thermos incident

the three of them spend the rest of their lunch looking at the photos peter was going to use for the bookmarks, fondly recalling memories upon looking back at the some of the photos and laughing at all the corny science puns peter had planned on using as well

things were finally back to normal, if not better than ever.

time for some cliche corny af happy end quote ending about how their friendship and the memories they shared together was the real gifts they had buuuttt i did mention mj would be giving peter a gift didnt i? soooo mj pov epiloooggguuueeeee

here's the thing, mj had an inkling peter parker was trying to attempt something

he was at school at the same time as her crack of dawn class and gave her some much needed caffeine

he tried to share his thermos of tea with her

it seemed like peter was trying to make amends and it really was sweet and thoughtful so ofc lil by lil she began to soften back

but as mj was printing the bookmarks peter had planned to give her

mj requisitioned the idea for herself since they actually were good ideas if she's being honest

tho she would never tell peter that, ESPECIALLY the science puns one

she'd reserve those for only when she's at home, the least likely place peter could ever see her use that

ok so back to- as mj was printing said bookmarks, she began to appreciate peter's thoughtfulness

and it is totally not because of any feelings said gifts and gift attempts gave her

but right now, as she had finished printing bookmarks and got nostalgic and reread the letter of peter confessing to her how much their relationship meant to him again, she suddenly had the unscratchable itch of needing to sketch peter

and a balancing of the scales gift idea was born

because you see, rn, peter had the upper hand in terms of the morality of their friendship and mj couldnt have that nooo

mj was sketching a screen cap of a video she took of the class while they were waiting for a professor and peter gave her that impossibly adorkable smile

because she HAD TO

she couldnt let peter hog all the gift giving glory

she didnt do it because of feelings or whatever ppfftt

this was just to balance the scales, mkayyyy???

or at least that's what mj told herself once she's finished her sketch and proceeded to look for all her old ones of peter

just to even things out

and that's exactly what mj told him as she shoved said sketches that were currently inside a plastic envelope onto peter's hands

(1. less likely for them to be ruined that way. 2. she was not going to have those sketches out in the open for everyone to plainly see wtf)

"this is just to make things even between us, no need to make a big deal about it"

peter was in awe for a while, his jaw slightly dropped, but he smiles in adoration of the girl of his dreams and gives a genuine "thank you, mj"

"you're welcome, peter."

mj even smiles a little before the bell rings and she hightails out of there

mj lightly sprints away, still slightly in shock and unsure of what she just did and what just happened

while peter is left looking at mj's direction fondly and looking back at her gift for him

and as he peeked inside the envelope to see its contents and saw all those sketches of him

peter felt like he truly didn't deserve someone like mj

and he felt like all the gifts in the world he could think of and muster up wouldn't be able to make up for that fact

holy fucking shit i cant believe i actually finished one of these things again. it's like pulling fucking fingernails and teeth at the same time, i tell you

but honestly i'm just really really happy i finished it and it's so pure and fluffy imo and nothing im just. i love these two sm.

this fic was supposed to be for 5+1 things day but since they're also a bunch of headcanons i like to think i'm just posting these in advance for headcanons day tomorrow hahahaha

IM BACK ON THE SPIDEYCHELLE MONTH TRAIN BABY TOOT TOOT TOOOTTTT

and i have a couple of fics left in me so whew keep a lookout for those if they decide to come hahaha

all hail spideychelle everybody. i'll be back i dunno haha

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