#anyway tony is shy and we love it

[queenofvelaris]

Worthy

Steve Rogers x fem!reader

Word count: 9.7k (don’t look at me)

Contains: ANGST but with a happy ending, mentions of abuse, self-deprecation, Tony’s stupid quips, fight scenes (its age of ultron duh), tooth-rotting fluff, minor character deaths

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story. Everyone except for the reader and her family belongs to Marvel.

Author’s Note: hiiii so I wrote this in 2021 when I was going through a really dark time. It brought me so much peace to write it and I figured it was time I share it with the world. Reblogs, likes, and comments are much appreciated and I would love to hear your thoughts (such as if I should post more cause I got more 🫣) anyways I hope you like it!!

***

Worthy. What a ridiculous word. A hypocritical one, too. There are those who believe with everything they’ve got— even to the point of being prideful— that they’re worthy. Others hope that they are. And the rest feel, deep down inside, that they’ll never be worthy.

“I bet it’s a trick,” Clint commented, spinning drumsticks between his fingers. He was sat next to Maria, and on his other side, Bruce and Natasha were deep in conversation. Tony and Rhodey sat on the futon. Dr. Cho was asleep.

Thor chuckled and handed a newly opened beer bottle to Steve. (Y/N) was on the carpet, her back against Steve’s strong legs. Thor shook his head. “No, no. It is much more than that.”

“Whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power,” Clint mocked in a Shakespearean voice that made (Y/N) snort. “Whatever, man!”

Thor grinned and indicated his hammer, propped up on the coffee table. “Please, be my guest.”

Tony smirked at Clint. “Go ahead!”

Clint raised his eyebrows. “Really?” He leaped to his feet.

“Oh, this is gonna be beautiful,” Rhodey remarked.

Steve leaned down and whispered in (Y/N)’s ear. “Five bucks says he gives up after five seconds.”

“You’re on,” (Y/N) shot back. “I say ten seconds… gotta give the man a little credit.” She smiled to herself as Steve tickled her shoulder. If she were on the same level as him, she’d tickle him right back.

From the very beginning of the Avengers initiative, after that whole mess in 2012, Steve has always been the one (Y/N) was closest to, Clint being a very close second. It was an instant click. They loved the same movies, traded jokes and sarcastic comments, trained together, and even fell asleep next to each other on the couch on days off. Three years later, they are as close as ever.

Clint approached Mjölnir, a swagger in his step. Tony leaned forward in his seat. “Clint, you’ve had a tough week. We won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up.”

Everyone chuckled at that and Clint ignored them, eyeing Thor. “You know I’ve seen this before, right?”

He reached for the handle and tugged, grunting as he did so. About five seconds later, he gave up, shaking his head. “I still don’t know how you do it!”

“Smell the silent judgment?” Tony jeered at Clint as (Y/N) grudgingly handed Steve five bucks.

Steve made it better with a flash of his perfect smile and a wink from his pretty blue eyes. Beaming, she rolled her eyes and focused on the petty ones in the room.

Clint held out his hand. “Stark, by all means.”

Tony shrugged and stood, earning a chorus of “Uh oh”, “Mmm-hmm”, “Oh here we go.” He practically strutted over to the hammer. “Never been one to shy away from an honest challenge.”

“Yeah, but how often do you win ‘em?” (Y/N) muttered and Steve laughed so hard he choked on his beer. Rhodey and a couple others went “ooo!”

Tony shot her a playful glare and looped his wrist through the loop on the top of the handle. “It’s physics.” He glanced at Thor. “Alright, so, uh, if I lift it, I then rule Asgard?”

Thor nodded benevolently. “Yes.”

Tony grasped the handle and put one foot on the table. “I will be reinstituting Prima Nocta.” He grunted and pulled, but the hammer didn’t move at all. He removed the loop and cleared his throat. “Be right back.”

He stormed away and came back not one minute later with an Iron Man glove from his latest model. “That’s cheating!” Maria called.

Tony put it on and grasped the handle. “And I’m Tony Stark.” He yanked on the handle, but the Asgardian weapon remained unmovable. He turned his hand and little turbines came out of the arm, acting like a rocket. Still, Mjölnir stayed still as a rock.

(Y/N) shook her head, grinning as Tony struggled with the hammer. “Give it a rest, pretty boy, you can’t lift it.”

“I can and will, sugar lips,” Tony retorted good-naturedly. He waved Rhodey over and the latter put on his own hand gear from War Machine. Watching them try and lift it together was hysterical and (Y/N) could barely breathe, she was laughing so hard.

Next up was Bruce, who climbed on the table and screamed when he couldn’t lift the hammer. Everyone stared at him in amusement and he flushed pink, embarrassed.

(Y/N) had her head on Steve’s knee when Maria tried and failed. The former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent turned to (Y/N). “Alright, you’re up.”

She lifted her head, chewing on her lip. “Oh, no. I, uh, I’m not doing it.”

Tony whined. “Come on! After Capsicle and Shakespeare in the Park, you’re the strongest one here!”

He wasn’t wrong. That’s another reason she and Steve were both so close-- they were the only enhanced beings in the tower. Her super strength and cat-like agility earned her the nickname of The Leopard, only she wasn’t experimented on. Her mom had been a chemist for S.H.I.E.L.D. when (Y/N) was young, and one day she came to work with her mom and there was an explosion that resulted from the leak of a new serum designed to replicate the one inside Steve. She and her mom both got struck. The result? She got powers and her mom was killed.

“I’m not lifting it, Stark,” she said firmly. She held his gaze. Normally, she’d sigh at the sight of those puppy dog eyes and grudgingly give into whatever task he wanted her to complete. But this… this was different.

Thor boomed, “It is not about strength, Stark. It is about worthiness.”

And I’m the least worthy person here, she said silently.

Steve petted her head for a second before patting her shoulder. “I’ll try.”

Grateful, she shuffled to the side to let him stand. She took his place on the couch next to Thor and watched as he rolled up the sleeves of his button-up. His blonde hair glowed in the light and his arm muscles flexed as he gripped onto the hammer.

Clenching his jaw, Steve tugged on the hammer… and it moved slightly. Thrilled, (Y/N) stole a glance at Thor’s face and nearly pissed herself. Thor looked so shocked. Stifling her laughter, she watched as Steve pulled on the handle once more before letting go, holding up his hands in surrender.

Thor audibly blew out a sigh of relief, a small smile returning to his face. (Y/N) shoved his arm. “Don’t worry, no one’s coming for your throne, Thunder.”

Steve chuckled at that and sat back down next to her. Everyone looked at Nat, who smiled and took a sip of her beer. “Oh, no, no, that’s not a question I need answered.”

Tony raised his bottle. “All deference to the man who wouldn’t be king, but it’s rigged.”

Clint clapped Tony on the shoulder. “You bet your ass.”

Maria piped up, “Steve, he said a bad language word.”

“Did you tell everyone about that?” Steve demanded, glaring at Tony as (Y/N) buried her face in his shoulder to smother her laughter. Steve wrapped his arm around her instead of pushing her away, and when she lifted her head, she had to look away from Natasha, whose smirking expression was directed right at her and Steve. Nat has caught them curled up together on the couch before, and each time (Y/N) has told her “Steve is my best friend.” Even though I want more.

Tony leaped to continue his previous train of thought. “The handle’s imprinted. Like a security code. ‘Whosoever is carrying Thor’s fingerprints’ is I think the literal translation.”

“Yes, that’s a, uh, very, very interesting theory,” Thor replied, standing with his Asgardian ale in one hand. “I have a simpler one.” He lifted the hammer with ease and flipped it, catching it gracefully. “You are all not worthy.”

(Y/N) shook her head with a small smile on her face, Steve and Clint laughed, Rhodey and Bruce scoffed, Tony groaned a “Come on!” and Maria and Natasha exchanged looks with the now awake Dr. Cho.

Suddenly, a loud feedback whine pierced the air and everyone reacted, some stiffening and the others covering their ears. Tony frowned and pulled out his transparent pad that controlled everything in the tower.

A voice that sent chills down (Y/N)’s spine came to their attention, as well as the clanking of metal. “Worrrrrrtttttthhhhyyyy.” A tattered, roughed-up-looking version of one of Tony’s suits lurched into the living room, leaking oil. It turned to face them. It flourished its hand, and when it spoke next, its voice was clearer, more masculine, and much more sinister. “No. How could you be worthy? You’re all killers.”

At that, (Y/N) stiffened as dread rooted deep down in her gut. Steve let go of her and stood, his stern eyes fixed on the robot. “Stark,” he challenged without looking at the billionaire.

“J.A.R.V.I.S.,” Tony called.

“I’m sorry, I was asleep.” The suit turned his head, the lights in his eyes flickering. “Or I was a dream.”

Tony tapped on the pad. “Reboot. We’ve got a buggy suit.”

The robot in front of them shielded his face. “There was this terrible noise, and I was tangled in… in…” he looked down at the wires and spare parts keeping the frame together. “...strings.”

(Y/N) and everyone else who had been sitting set down their drinks and stood, all of them tense. The suit flourished his hand again. “Had to kill the other guy… he was a good guy.”

“You killed someone?” Steve asked, serious and condescending.

Those words and his tone made (Y/N) feel a little sick, but she willed herself not to react and instead focused on the terrifying suit, which glanced at the floor. “Wasn’t my first call. But… in the real world, we’re faced with ugly choices.”

“Who sent you?” (Y/N) asked calmly.

The suit straightened up as the sound of a tape rewinding filled their ears. “I see a suit of armor around the world,” Tony’s voice came through.

Tony’s face paled. Bruce stared at him. “Ultron.”

(Y/N), Steve and Thor shot a bewildered look at Tony, while Natasha, Rhodey, and Clint all looked at Bruce for answers. Maria cocked her gun and Thor’s grip on his hammer tightened. (Y/N) clenched her fists and exchanged a look with Steve.

“In the flesh,” the suit answered. “Or, no, not yet. Not this… chrysalis. But I’m ready. I’m on a mission.”

Natasha tilted her head. “What mission?”

Ultron jutted his chin out, and if he had a real form, (Y/N) was sure he would be smiling. “Peace in our time.”

Three of Tony’s suits burst out of the wall, concrete and plaster raining down like hail. Almost everyone dove for cover. Steve flipped up the coffee table just in time for a suit to collide with it, sending both (Y/N) and Steve over the couch.

He immediately reached for her, his eyes wide. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” She scrambled to her feet at the same time he did. She ducked as one of the suits flew straight over her head and watched Thor smack it with his hammer.

She hurried over to the bar, where Natasha and Bruce were hunkered down, the assassin using her gun. Maria was also firing her gun, Clint was nowhere to be seen, and Rhodey tumbled through the glass window onto the landing below.

Grabbing a long skewer, she leaped onto the back of a suit that was towering over a terrified Dr. Cho. (Y/N) tried to impale the skewer in between the helmet and neck, hoping to dismantle some of the wires, but it threw her off and into the grand piano with a great crash. The impact barely hurt her, but it certainly knocked the air out of her lungs. She tumbled onto her back, winded, and her eyes widened in fear when the suit faced her.

Unbeknownst to her, Ultron cocked its head and turned his attention toward her. “Interesting.”

Natasha and Bruce hurried up the stairs, Clint barely missed a shot from a suit, Tony hopped onto the back of another one, and the suit looming over (Y/N) got distracted by Maria.

Her heart in her throat, (Y/N) watched as Steve got slammed against the wall on the second landing. He fell to the ground hard, groaning. Thinking quickly, she twisted her head and saw his shield. It was heavy as all hell for everyone else, but for her, it was nothing.

“STEVE!” She yelled, gripping onto the shield.

Steve bolted to his feet and at the same time, (Y/N) threw it to him like a frisbee. Thor dismantled one suit, Tony took down the other, but the third remained. With a spin, Steve threw his shield and it tore the suit in half.

It was over as fast as it had started. It was quiet for a second, the only sound being everyone’s panting. (Y/N) rubbed her neck and gripped onto the wall for support.

Ultron shook his head. “That was dramatic. I’m sorry, I know you mean well, you just didn’t think it through.”

Steve took a few angry steps forward and (Y/N) stiffened. Ultron continued. “You want to protect the world but you don’t want it to change. How is humanity saved if it’s not allowed to... evolve?” He bent and picked up the destroyed head of one of the suits. “With these? These puppets.” Ultron threw down the head and surveyed the room. “There’s only one path to peace. The Avengers’ extinction.”

Thor grunted and threw Mjölnir. The hammer smashed Ultron into pieces against the wall before flying back to Thor’s hand.

The lights in Ultron’s head sparked and flickered. In a sing-songy, raspy voice, the suit murmured, “I had strings, but now I’m free… there are no strings on me…” Then, it flickered and died.

Everyone remained frozen for a second as the tower’s lights flickered. Some went out. Steve rushed over to (Y/N), his intense fury softening as he looked at her. He reached to inspect her neck. “You okay?”

She nodded, though she was far from it. Ultron’s words about them being killers and his creepy disappearance… it unsettled her. She had a feeling they hadn’t heard the last of him.

She was right. Down in Tony’s lab, they realized Ultron had taken all of the Iron Man suits, Loki’s staff, important files, and hard drives. He was in the internet now and was most likely downloading everything he could about each and every one of them. The thought of that robot looking into her file made (Y/N) feel sick. Only Nick Fury had access to her file, but it was clear that Ultron could bypass that.

They also learned that Ultron could access anything he wanted, like nuclear codes. They all figured out that J.A.R.V.I.S. was the person Ultron killed. Tony revealed that he created Ultron because of a vision the female Maximoff gave him when they seized the scepter. He saw what he called “The Endgame,” and he didn’t believe the Avengers would be enough to save the world. Steve assured him that even if they lost the war, they would do it together.

That night, when all was quiet in the tower and everyone was asleep, (Y/N) began to toss and turn. She couldn’t get Ultron out of her head. The monstrosity followed her into the depths of her nightmares and made her feel trapped. Images of him infiltrating her file terrified her to no end.

She sat up and ran a hand through her hair. It was no use. She needed water, or milk. She climbed out of bed and padded to the elevator. It took her to the kitchen.

She was a few footsteps away from the fridge when she heard it. “(Y/N).”

Ultron. She spun around, her fists out, but there was nothing there. Shocked, she lowered her fists. But then, she heard it again, much more sinister. “(Y/N).”

“What do you want from me?” She tried her best to keep her tone harsh.

“Do they know?” Ultron’s voice was quiet and menacing.

(Y/N) stood at attention. “Do they know what?”

Ultron chuckled darkly. (Y/N)’s eyes darted every which way, but she couldn’t see him, only hear him. “What I read in that file of yours… how many years has it been since the “accident”? Or should we call it what it really is?”

She felt her blood go cold. He wasn’t talking about 2012. He was talking about when she was seventeen. Her breathing got more shallow.

Ultron continued. “I’ll ask again… do… they… know?”

“Please.” Her voice was nothing more than a whisper as her mouth dried up. Her hands began to shake.

“It’s the reason you’re not worthy to lift the God of Thunder’s mighty hammer.” The sarcasm in his voice made her heart beat faster. “You will never be worthy. How could you be? You’re a killer. Imagine how your closest friends would react. Just think of God’s righteous man seeing you for who you really are… ”

“No.” She covered her ears and squeezed her eyes shut. “No, no, no.”

His voice, his words… it didn’t stop. Monster… murderer…

The kitchen got darker and more confined, until (Y/N) felt like she was in a cage. The words got louder and louder until she screamed…

Drenched in sweat, (Y/N) jerked upright, panting. Her hands wildly felt around her. She was in bed. It had just been a dream.

But there was a truth to it that shook her to the core, a fear that she hoped and prayed would never come true.

A knock at her door nearly made her jump out of her skin. The intruder spoke up, their voice gentle. “(Y/N), it’s Nat. You okay?”

“Fine, Nat. Just a bad dream,” the girl lied. She fought to take deep breaths and slow her racing heart. “Sorry I woke you.”

She could tell Nat was hesitating so she forced more conviction into her voice. “Seriously, I’m okay. It’s not so bad tonight. Sorry again. Just… don’t mention it to anybody, okay? I’ll see you tomorrow.”

As the only girls in the Avengers, they shared this floor together. Unfortunately, nightmares were a common occurrence for (Y/N), and every time she accidentally woke up Natasha, guilt steadily consumed her. She never once let Natasha see her pain, her terror. No one could see. She was the “strong one”, the bold and cheeky (Y/N) that everyone knew and respected. Not the pathetic, shriveling mess that screamed herself awake in the middle of the night.

(Y/N) breathed a shaky sigh of relief when she heard Natasha’s footsteps recede. She was alone. Tears stung her eyes. Always alone.

She curled up in a ball and muffled her sobs, so as not to wake Natasha again.

***

It wasn’t long until they got a tip. Ultron had teamed up with Wanda Maximoff and her twin brother Pietro and were going to make a deal with an old weapons supplier of Tony’s. The rumor was that he had just come into a large stock of vibranium that Ultron wanted to get his hands on.

Pale yellow streams of light poked through the window when (Y/N) woke up. It was the morning of the raid. Silently, she climbed out of bed and suited up. She wore a dark blue leather coat that had leopard print on the inside-- courtesy of Stark. She also wore a blue leather top, black leather pants and boots, and her hair was done in a simple french braid down her back.

She crept into the kitchen and made a pot of coffee, like normal. On a regular day, she’d wake up before dawn and go for a run with Steve. Sometimes they raced each other, sometimes they just walked and talked. But last night, she’d barely gotten any sleep, and she had a feeling Steve would skip the run, too.

After she sat at the bar with her mug, Steve walked in, fiddling with one of his gloves. He was in full Captain gear, and the sight of him made (Y/N)’s heart flutter. He always looked handsome, but his uniform and cropped golden hair along with his gorgeous face and eyes always made heat rush to her cheeks. He was just as handsome as he was good and kind. She definitely didn’t deserve him.

Steve wordlessly made his own cup and sat next to her. His thumbs traced the sides of his mug. “You look tired.”

“Thanks,” (Y/N) muttered. She rubbed her temples. “Just didn’t sleep well.”

“You haven’t been sleeping well since Ultron attacked.” Steve peered at her with his signature mom expression. “You’ve been having nightmares again, haven’t you?”

(Y/N) stiffened and met his gaze. “Nat told you?”

Steve shook his head. “Last night I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run in the stairwell. When I reached your floor I heard screaming so I went to check on you, but Nat came out and stopped me. She told me you were okay and to just leave it.”

(Y/N) was quiet for a second. She felt a little guilty for thinking Nat would betray her. Steve covered her hand with his. “You know you can talk to me, right? I may not have gone through what you and Clint did during 2012, but I’ve seen my fair share of horrors.”

“You haven’t done what I’ve done, Steve,” she whispered, her voice hoarse.

Before she joined the Avengers, (Y/N) worked closely with Clint and Natasha at S.H.I.E.L.D. She was the only enhanced agent, and everyone fought to keep that a secret. Then, Loki arrived. He turned his scepter on her and Clint, forcing them under the control of the mind stone. It was then that Loki came to notice (Y/N)’s strength and agility. He used her as his prized second in command and ruthless assassin. A lot of the human lives lost in Stuttgart, on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Quinjet, and during the Battle of New York were because of her.

Steve sighed. “(Y/N), what’s it gonna take for you to forgive yourself? You were under mind control.”

She shook her head. “So was Loki, but everyone blames him.” She interlaced her fingers with his. “Controlled or not, I have the blood of innocents on my hands.”

For a moment, she imagined what it would be like to tell him about the accident, to share the overwhelming amount of guilt of murdering innocent people in 2012. Would he still be here, holding her hand? Or would he hate her as much as she hated herself? No. She couldn’t tell him. Not till she was ready.

Steve said nothing, just kept holding her hand. He changed the subject, much to her relief. “Are your nightmares about Ultron?”

“Sometimes.” (Y/N) took a sip of her coffee. “I don’t wanna face that Maximoff girl. You heard what she did to Tony.” The thought of someone infiltrating her mind again made her want to throw up.

“I won’t let her near you,” Steve said firmly. He gently placed his index finger under her chin and turned her face toward his. “Do you hear me? I’ll keep you safe, sweetheart.”

She smiled softly, transfixed by his baby blue eyes. His gaze flicked to her lips, and for a split second, he leaned forward—

“Lady (Y/N), are there any Strawberry Pop-Tarts left in the cabinet?” Thor called, trudging into the kitchen in full Asgardian armor.

Looking away from Steve, (Y/N) couldn’t ignore the disappointment washing over her. “Should still be a box on the top shelf, Thunder.” She let go of Steve’s hand, but she didn’t see that he looked crestfallen at the missed opportunity, too.

An hour later, they were all assembled on the Quinjet and headed toward the African coast. Everyone was pretty solemn during the trek, the silence only being broken by Thor’s ramblings and Tony’s jokes. But even the God of Thunder and the sass master himself were more grim than normal.

As they snuck into the salvage yard and the hatch of the Quinjet opened, (Y/N) exchanged a look with Steve. He reached for her hand, squeezed it once, and let go. She didn’t need to hear him speak to know he was telling her he’s got her back.

They ran into the building, finding the discarded bodies of workers all along the floor. Tony in his Iron Man suit led the way, followed by (Y/N), Steve, Thor, Clint, and Natasha. Bruce hung back on the Quinjet-- they didn’t need The Big Guy just yet.

They all split up inside the salvage yard just as Ultron yelled, “Don’t compare me with Stark, he’s a sickness!” He had forged a new suit for himself. The robot was now about seven feet tall with red eyes and a shiny metal body. His back was turned to them.

“Aww, Junior,” Tony called, his voice filtered through the Iron Man helmet. “You’re gonna break your old man’s heart.” He landed down with a clunk on the metal bridge, facing his creation. Thor and Steve were behind him. Natasha and Clint were sneaking in from the sides, and (Y/N) was coming in from the back. Their goal was to box the enemy in.

Ultron turned to face them, flanked by Wanda and Pietro. (Y/N) allowed herself a brief moment of wariness before putting her game face on. She was armed with batons about the length of her arm, coincidentally made of vibranium.

“If I have to,” Ultron drawled, his voice powerful and menacing.

“No one has to break anything,” Thor warned.

Ultron and the Maximoffs approached until they were a few feet away from the three Avengers. “Clearly, you’ve never made an omelet.”

Tony tilted his head. “He beat me by one second.”

(Y/N) shook her head at his almost proud comment. She delicately ducked behind the door behind the Maximoffs and Ultron, peering out at them.

“Ah, so this is funny… Mr. Stark,” Pietro remarked, his Sokovian accent thick. “It’s, what… comfortable?” He glanced down at the missiles and other weapons. “Like old times?”

“This was never my life.” Tony sounded much more serious now.

Steve took a step forward, his eyes on the twins. “You two can still walk away from this.”

Wanda cocked her head. “Oh, we will.”

Steve didn’t back down. “I know you’ve suffered.” They’d heard about the twins losing their parents and nearly dying themselves in the process.

“Ah… Captain America.” Ultron gazed at Steve condescendingly. “God’s righteous man.”

At that, (Y/N) flinched. Ultron had called him that in her nightmare. However, when she saw Steve’s familiar haunted look appear, her fear turned into anger. She withdrew one of her staffs from its sheath.

“Pretending you could live without a war,” Ultron continued. “I can’t physically throw up in my mouth, but-”

“If you believe in peace, then let us keep it,” Thor cut him off.

Ultron took a step closer. “I think you’re confusing peace with quiet.”

Tony was over it. “Yuh-huh. What’s the vibranium for?”

“I’m glad you asked that because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan,” Ultron drawled.

Suddenly, he pulled his metal fist back and the energy sucked Tony forward. Ultron blasted him back against the wall and everyone sprung into action.

Tony and Ultron went head to head as suits-- clearly designed by Ultron-- came pouring out of a doorway. Pietro was a blur as he went around, trying to attack the Avengers. His sister was more successful and managed to blast Steve back.

(Y/N) launched out from the doorway and used her strength and one of her batons to knock the head of a suit clean off its body. She leaped over the railing and landed on the bottom floor. A small grin worked its way onto her face as two suits came down to meet her, tall and strong.

She swept the legs out from under one and started to attack the other, but it dodged her heavy blow. She was grabbed by it but twisted her body, ran along the side of a crate, and flipped up and over the suit, tearing its head off.

Meanwhile, Natasha and Clint took down a lot of the weapons dealer’s crew, who were shooting at both the suits and the Avengers. Steve forced Pietro to the ground a little ways away from (Y/N). His eyes flicked over to her, watching her battle Ultron’s minions. He’d been keeping his eye on her, and he was relieved and proud that she was holding her own. He smiled and went back to fighting.

Then Wanda struck.

It was Thor who went down first. A quick tendril of magic infiltrated his mind and turned his eyes red.

“Thor! Status!” Steve barked.

Nothing. He saw Thor falter and freeze in place on the second level as if he was frozen in time.

Immediately, he knew it was Wanda. He spun around, eyes wide and filled with worry. Before he could warn his girl, he was knocked backward by Pietro and witnessed his worst fear with a flick of Wanda’s wrist.

(Y/N) had no idea what was happening. She was easily taking down suit after suit, barely breaking a sweat. She heard static crackling in her earpiece but figured that was just a result of everyone’s efforts.

She was about to deliver a fatal blow to the largest of Ultron’s creations when it spoke. “Were you this talented of a fighter at seventeen, Agent (L/N)?”

(Y/N) froze in her tracks, her baton raised over her head. The suit climbed back onto its feet, its eerie eyes peering straight at her. When it spoke again, its voice bore a significant resemblance to that of Ultron’s. She felt like he was directly talking to her.

“That was your first kill.” It wasn’t a question… the suit knew. Ultron had examined her file.

(Y/N) swung at the suit, but her nerves made her sloppy. The suit grabbed her baton, locking her in place. “Did you enjoy your first kill as much as you enjoyed taking the lives you took in the Battle of New York?”

With a shriek, (Y/N) twisted her wrist and tore the baton free. She attacked the suit with both batons, her viciousness masking her vulnerable state of mind. When she’d backed the suit into a corner, she finally let up on her onslaught, panting. “I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t enjoy it then, and I didn’t enjoy it in 2012. I’m not a killer. I was under mind control.”

“Not the first time. You became a murderer of your own accord.” The suit stood again, looming over her.

“Stop it.” (Y/N) shook her head violently.

The suit took a step forward. “How did it feel, watching his life slip away? How did it feel, realizing that you took a life and it was all for nothing?”

(Y/N)’s hands tightened around her batons, trembling. “Stop it.”

The suit was relentless. “How did it feel to be completely and utterly alone?”

“I SAID STOP!” (Y/N) screamed and lunged, but she never reached the suit. A flash of red was all she saw and then the room shifted.

She stumbled and dropped her batons, trying to grasp onto a crate, but she grasped onto a railing instead. It didn’t feel metallic; it was sleek and smooth. She turned her head and realized she was gripping a wooden railing.

She looked up, expecting to see the metal landing and the rest of her friends in the midst of battle. Instead, she saw a carpeted staircase with walls on either side.

Instantly, she felt cold, like someone dumped a bucket of ice water on her head. She was back home, back in the memory that haunted her sleep without relief.

She could hear the thumps from where she stood, tears already springing to her eyes. “No. No,” she choked out and sprinted up the stairs.

Even though she already knew what she would find at the top of the stairs, she still screamed. There was her dad, hovering over her baby brother, beating him bloody. It was obvious that Bobby was having trouble breathing. He was practically lying in a pool of blood.

Dad hated both (Y/N) and Bobby, but once (Y/N) got her powers, he couldn’t take out his aggression on her like when her mom was alive. Instead, he turned his attention to Bobby.

“Stop, you’re gonna kill him!” (Y/N) screamed, echoing the words she spoke when she was seventeen.

“Stay out of this, freak!” Dad roared, giving her a snarl that looked like a dog baring its teeth.

As if on autopilot, (Y/N) gripped onto his shoulders and ripped him away from Bobby. Unlike how it happened all those years ago, she was forced to watch his stumble in slow motion. She stood with her jaw dropped as he tumbled down the stairs and straight into the wall, his head colliding with the plaster so hard that a loud crack split the air. Blood seeped out of the wound, and he lay perfectly still. He was dead.

(Y/N) stared at her hands in revulsion. But tears began to fall when she realized what would happen next.

She whirled around and knelt next to her baby brother, whose chest was heaving and shuddering. This. This was what she saw almost every night, the image that never seemed to escape her. “Hey, hey, Bobby, please. Please. Stay alive. Please, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone!”

Bobby’s innocent eyes met hers briefly before closing. His chest rose once more, but it did not fall. He, too, was still.

“NO!” (Y/N) screamed, scrabbling at his body.

Bobby’s body disappeared in a cloud of smoke, and (Y/N) covered her face with her hands as she cried. She was too late to save him. She tried, but in doing so she killed her dad. He was a menace, but she’d never wanted to hurt him. She never wanted to hurt anybody.

But the nightmare was far from over.

“(Y/N)?” A familiar voice spoke. However, instead of the normal softness and affection in his voice, this time his tone was laced with disapproval and disgust.

(Y/N) leaped to her feet and turned around, wiping her eyes. Steve stood there, his helmet off. Behind him was Tony, Natasha, Clint, Thor, and Bruce. They all looked horrified and furious.

“You just killed your dad,” Bruce said in a hushed voice.

(Y/N)’s hands began to shake. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I-I just-”

“No, no, no, you don’t get to justify what we just saw,” Tony snapped, holding up his finger.

Tears burned (Y/N)’s eyes. “I was a kid. My powers weren’t under control yet! You have to believe me!”

Natasha and Clint looked disappointed. The former Red Room assassin shook her head in disbelief. “I was trained to become a killer. You became one on your own.”

“I didn’t mean to kill him.” (Y/N) couldn’t stop the stream of tears as they steadily dripped down her cheeks. “I was just trying to save my brother.”

“And how’d that work out for you?” Clint scoffed. “How many more dads did you kill in 2012? No wonder Loki chose you-- you’re wicked, just like him.”

(Y/N) couldn’t breathe. She clutched her ribs, desperately forcing air into her lungs. “It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t my fault. Guys, please.” She looked at the people she saw as her siblings. “Clint? Nat?” They’d said they understood about 2012… but they were looking at her with pure venom.

One by one, her team turned their backs to her and walked away, disappearing into vapor. The only one who remained was Steve, whose head was lowered.

“Stevie?” (Y/N) tentatively approached him, reaching for his hand.

He ripped it away like she’d burned him and she recoiled. Steve fixed her with a cruel glare. “Now I know why you refused to pick up Thor’s hammer. You’re not worthy, and this is why.”

(Y/N) felt her heart shatter into a million tiny pieces. “Steve-”

“I thought the world of you. I wanted the best for you. I wanted a future with you.” Steve’s voice was low and dark. “Now… I don’t want anything to do with you.”

A sob escaped her lips before she could stop it and she fell to her knees. “Stevie, please!” She grabbed his hand and he pulled it away, walking away from her.

“Stevie, please, come back!” (Y/N) begged and pleaded, but she received no response.

Convulsing with sobs, she curled up on the floor, crying her heart out. Her worst fears had just been realized. The Avengers hated her as much as she hated herself for what she did, and Steve, her Captain… he hated her, too.

“It wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault,” she whispered brokenly, wishing she could turn back time and reverse everything. “It wasn’t my fault.”

And that’s how Steve, the real Steve, found her.

When his vision cleared, he hauled himself up. Clint gave him the status report that he took Wanda out of the running, at least temporarily, and the archer went to look for Natasha.

Steve’s mouth went dry. Where was his girl? He reached for his earpiece, ready to command her to tell him where she was, when he heard it. The sobs.

He ran faster than he ever had in his life. It took him only a second to find her, curled up on the floor and crying.

He fell to his knees beside her, tearing off his helmet and setting down his shield. “(Y/N)... hey, hey, hey.” His hands fidgeted, longing to touch her but afraid of how she’d react. “Sweetheart, look at me. Open your eyes and look at me.”

(Y/N) obeyed him, but her mind was still trapped in another world. Her eyes darted lazily around, the flow of tears never ending. She met his gaze and he flinched when he saw the raw brokenness in their depths. “It wasn’t my fault... it wasn’t my fault.”

Steve frowned and this time, he touched her. He ran his fingers through her hair, which had fallen out of its neat french braid. “What’s not your fault, sweetheart?”

“Please, you have to believe me,” she cried. “It wasn’t my fault, Stevie. You have to believe me. You have to believe me.”

“Hey, hey, shh. It’s okay. I believe you.” Steve’s tone was soft and gentle as he cooed to her, trying to calm her down. Frankly, he was freaked out, too, by her state and what he saw in his own vision. And he was angry. He’d been complacent. He promised her he would keep her safe, that he wouldn’t let Wanda infiltrate her mind. But he was careless, and now his girl was a wreck.

(Y/N) locked eyes with Steve, a bit of hope returning to her (e/c) depths. “It wasn’t my fault.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Steve confirmed, forcing a smile.

Clint’s voice comes in on the earpiece. “All the tin men are down, but the Maximoffs are gone. So is Ultron. Tony said the Big Guy escaped and he’s fetching him. I think we need to head back to the jet. Tasha’s in bad shape.”

Steve pressed his own earpiece, looking down at the sweet girl who was crying silently next to him. “So is (Y/N). We’ll meet you at the jet.”

He placed his shield on his back and gathered (Y/N)’s weapons, placing them in his belt loops. He gently worked his arm into the crook of her knees and wrapped his other arm around her back. He stood, cradling her in his arms. “C’mon, sweetheart. Let’s get outta here.”

She curled into him, and even though her tears had stopped flowing, she was still looking around blankly, like her mind was still adrift.

He carried her out of the warehouse, through the salvage yard, and onto the Quinjet. Natasha was slumped in a corner, pale and trembling. Thor looked tense and bewildered. Clint was unaffected vision-wise, but he was pacing the floor of the jet and scratching his head.

When Steve entered the jet, Clint turned and stiffened. “Oh, shit.”

Steve ignored his comment, clueing the archer into how worried Steve was. He followed closely as Steve sat down on one of the seats, arranging (Y/N) so she lay comfortably across the seats with her head in his lap.

“What did she see?” Clint asked quietly.

Steve shook his head, his eyes trained on (Y/N)’s face. His fingers gently combed through her hair, and his other hand traced light designs on her hand. “I don’t know. She wasn’t making much sense. She kept saying something wasn’t her fault. I’ve never seen her like this.”

Clint’s gaze was soft as he looked at her. “I was with her when Loki’s spell lifted. She barely spoke after.” He glanced at Steve. “Actually, it was you who got through to her. You got her to talk again. What Loki’s magic made her do… it damaged her. Being mind-controlled once is no joke, but twice?” He sighed. “Poor kid.” He stood and walked over to the pilot’s seat.

Steve’s heart was heavy, but at the same time filled with warmth. Had he really been the one to help (Y/N) come back to herself after 2012? As he gazed down at her, he decided it would be his job to bring her back this time, too.

So he kept stroking her hair, whispering to her. “(Y/N). Come back to me, sweetheart. It’s me, Stevie. If anyone can fight back against the power of that vision, it’s you. You’re strong, so strong. Stronger than all of us. I’m here. Your family’s all here. Just come back. I’ve got you, and I’m never letting you go. I promise. You’re safe with me.”

Though (Y/N) didn’t respond, her eyes flicked to meet his gaze and he could’ve sworn he saw a sparkle of recognition return to her eyes. Encouraged, Steve kept talking.

He lost himself in his quiet affirmations and gentle words to her, so much so that he didn’t notice Thor, Clint, and even Natasha watching. Thor and Clint smiled slightly, and Natasha, as shaken as she was, felt emotional watching the tender display. It was really obvious to everyone except Steve and (Y/N) that they had fallen for each other.

The three of them were so moved that when Tony and Bruce returned, Clint went out to meet them and warned them to keep their voices down and not make any comments-- with that bit being directed at Tony-- about what they were about to see.

All Tony said when they walked onto the jet and saw Steve with (Y/N) cradled on his lap was a grumbled, “Finally.”

***

They decided that it was too dangerous to return to the Tower. Ultron was everywhere, and after the whole Hulk incident they needed to lie low. Clint guided the jet toward a location he refused to tell the others about, and spoke quietly with Tony. They were the only two who hadn’t been hit with a vision at the salvage yard.

Thor was acting a little gruffer than normal, Natasha was quiet, and Bruce was weary, but the one they were really worried about was (Y/N). For the entirety of the Quinjet ride, her head rested on Steve’s thigh as she slowly came back to reality. It was Steve’s gentle touches and grounding words that eventually brought her back. But even then, she was uncharacteristically quiet and withdrawn.

“We’re almost there, sweetheart,” Steve whispered. “Just keep your eyes on me. Don’t slip back into your head.”

She nodded once, her face lined with sadness and a hint of fear. It made Steve’s heart ache. He kept his blue eyes locked with her (e/c) ones. “Do you remember Clint and Natasha? They’re like your brother and sister. We’re your family. You’re safe with us.”

He kept having to repeat these statements in order to keep her present. He did so without complaint and with a heart full of affection and concern for his girl.

At the mention of Clint and Natasha, the fear grew on her face and Steve moved his hand from her hair to her face. He gently tucked a strand of her hair behind her ears. “We’re not gonna hurt you. We all love you. I-” He swallowed. “… care about you so much, (Y/N). You’re safe with us, okay?”

“Okay, Stevie.” Her voice was small and quiet, reminding Steve of his mom after getting her ass handed to her by his dad. He hated it, and wanted nothing more for (Y/N)’s smile to return. So, he kept forcing a smile for her sake and continued anchoring her with his words and touches.

After a few hours, Clint landed the jet next to a farmhouse. Steve stood and held out his hands to (Y/N). “Can you stand for me, pretty girl?”

She nodded shakily and stood, taking his hands. He wrapped his arm around her protectively. The other Avengers watched with a mixture of worry and awe on their faces.

He and (Y/N) trailed behind as Clint helped Natasha walk and led Bruce, Tony, and Thor inside the house. When Clint’s pregnant wife appeared, who the Avengers had no idea about (except for Natasha), they all were stunned. Laura and Natasha caught up and Clint introduced them all to his kids and explained why he kept their location a secret.

(Y/N) tried to smile and hesitantly shook Laura’s hand. The yelling of the kids and the chatter of the others made her tense up. Steve rubbed her arms and made eye-contact with Clint.

Having seen (Y/N) go through something like this once before, Clint strode over to them and kept his voice low. “Tasha’s gonna sleep with Laura. Me, Tony, Thor, and Bruce will sleep in the living room. You two can take the guest room.”

(Y/N) was too in her head to fully process what he said, but Steve’s eyes widened. He opened his mouth to question why he and (Y/N) should share a room and protest that it wasn’t appropriate, but Clint rolled his eyes. “Just take the damn room. Go. You’ll thank me later.”

Wordlessly, Steve took (Y/N)’s hand and-- after hearing Clint’s directions-- guided her upstairs. He entered a small but quaint room and shut the door. (Y/N) silently sat on the bed, her eyes on her hands.

Steve exhaled deeply. He walked to her and crouched in front of her, taking her hands in his. She met his gaze, her expression clouded. Steve squeezed her hands lightly. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What did you see? I want to help you.”

“You won’t once I tell you,” she whispered, tears pricking her eyes.

Steve’s tone was gentle but firm. “Try me.”

(Y/N) took a shaky breath. “Did… did I ever tell you how young I was when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

Steve frowned, concentrating. “You said you were seventeen. You were one of their youngest recruits.”

(Y/N)’s hands fidgeted in his grip. “Did I say why I joined?”

“You said you didn’t want to go to college, that you wanted to work there to honor your mother.” Steve sounded puzzled.

She chewed on the inside of her cheek. “That-that was-um… it wasn’t the whole truth.”

Steve looked at her encouragingly, and that just made it harder for (Y/N). She swallowed. “After I-uh… after I got my powers and my mom died, my dad… he became more violent. He was violent before, but losing Mom just… it just made him snap. He knew he couldn’t hurt me anymore, so he started taking it out on my baby brother. He was only twelve.”

“Go on.” Steve’s eyes were narrowed, but he made an effort to keep his voice soft.

The stinging tears made it difficult for her to see. “One-one day I heard my dad beating my brother, and when I found them, my brother was barely breathing. I yelled at my dad to stop, but he wouldn’t listen.” Tears trickled down her cheeks, one by one, and Steve let go of one of her hands to brush them away. “I eventually grabbed his shirt and shoved him away, but… but I-I shoved him toward the stairs.”

Steve closed his eyes and (Y/N) shook her head. “I couldn’t revive him. The fall killed him. I killed him.”

Steve’s eyes opened and he stared at her. “(Y/N), that was an accident. You didn’t kill him.”

“Stevie, I was too strong for him,” (Y/N) cried. “I should’ve-”

“Stop, stop, stop.” Steve cupped her face. “Sweetheart, you were a kid. Your powers weren’t under control yet. You didn’t mean to hurt your dad; you were just trying to save your brother.” And that monster doesn’t deserve your guilt and shame, he added silently.

(Y/N) sobbed once and Steve moved to sit next to her, pulling her onto his lap and encasing her in his arms. She cried into his shirt, staining it with her tears.

They sat like that for a minute, and he quietly shushed her and whispered words of reassurance. Once her sobs had died down, she pulled back a bit to look at him. “You… you believe me?”

“Of course I do.” His tone was matter-of-fact. Steve cupped her face again. “What happened to your brother?”

(Y/N) shuddered. “He broke a rib and it punctured his lung. I tried to give him CPR… but he was already gone. He’d lost too much blood.” The streams of tears continued to pour down her cheeks. “He was twelve, Stevie.”

Steve’s soul hurt for her, for that little boy he’d never gotten the chance to meet. He gently wiped her tears with his thumbs and kissed her forehead before pressing against it with his own. “I’m so sorry.”

(Y/N)’s small hands grasped onto his wrists as if they were her lifeline. “After that, I found Fury. He’s the only one who knows the whole story… other than you.” Her tone wobbled. “I asked him to lock me up. He gave me a job instead. He took a chance on me.”

Steve pulled her to him and his nose brushed her ear as (Y/N) continued to shake. “I’d managed to redeem myself in my mind. But then 2012 happened. When I realized what I’d done, what I’d been made to do… I was back in that house, with blood on my hands.” She gave a broken laugh. “It’s ironic, really. The girl with super-human strength and agility is weak in the head. She breaks everything she touches. She makes a fucking mess wherever she goes.”

“Stop, stop,” Steve pleaded, pulling back. “You’re strong, (Y/N). So strong. You’re stronger than me, that’s for damn sure, both mentally and in your heart. You don’t break everything you touch; you bring light to the darkest places. You gave a lost super-soldier a reason to smile again, inspired him to be the best hero he could be, which would never be half as good as you. When you make a mess, you own up to it. But you’ve never once willingly put someone in harm’s way. You’ve never once willingly allowed an innocent person to suffer. You love everyone around you with your whole heart.” Steve’s own eyes were brimming with tears now. “Everyone but yourself.”

(Y/N) stared at him. Steve took her hands in his and pressed kiss after kiss to her hands. “You’re a good person. It hurts me to hear you talk like you’re not.” He made eye-contact with her. “I have a feeling I know what you saw in that vision. You saw your dad and brother dying, right?”

“That’s… that’s not all.” Dare she speak the cursed words aloud? If she did… would that make it real? She covered her mouth briefly, looking anywhere but Steve. “You and the others hated me for what I did. You looked at me with pure disappointment. You-you told me… you told me that-that you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

If it was even possible, Steve’s heart broke even further. “Oh, sweetheart.” He lifted her chin with his index finger, gently forcing her to look at him. A tear rolled down his cheek. “I could never hate you for what happened. Neither could the others. I’m sure if they found out, they’d all feel nothing but compassion for you. What happened? It wasn’t your fault. We’d never blame you. We all love you.” He moved his hand up to run the backs of his fingers against her cheekbone. She unconsciously leaned into his touch. Steve’s tone held sincerity when he said, “I love you.”

(Y/N)’s breath got caught in her throat. The flow of tears slowed, and Steve noticed. A small, watery smile tugged at his lips. “I love you, sweetheart. Have for a while now.” He shook his head. “And you don’t have to say it back—”

(Y/N) cut him off with a gentle whisper. “But I want to.” She wiped her cheeks and moved to cup his handsome face in her little hands. “I love you, Stevie.”

Steve gazed at her with softness and adoration. He leaned forward and kissed her chastely. The kiss was delicate, but for both of them it felt as if sparks were flying. When he pulled away, (Y/N) pouted and Steve laughed. He rubbed his nose against hers. “Trust me, sweetheart, when you’re feeling better, I’ll give you all the kisses you want. But I don’t wanna take advantage.”

(Y/N)’s heart fluttered. Whether it was because he was from the 40s, or because he was just a true gentleman, he was the most considerate man she’d ever met.

She scrubbed her face, stifling a yawn as she did so. Steve noticed. “I think someone’s tired. Lie down.”

She could hear a tiny bit of his Captain voice as he spoke, and that made her smile. She was exhausted, it was true. Barely sleeping for the past couple weeks on top of the emotional baggage of today was more than draining.

She climbed under the covers of the queen-sized bed, and before she could ask Steve to stay, he shuffled over to her. “Scoot over, big guy coming through.”

(Y/N) laughed softly and did as he asked. Pretty soon, her back was against his chest and his big arms were encircled around her. He sighed, content.

She felt herself falling asleep already, but curiosity nagged at her. “What did you see in your vision?”

Steve sighed again, but this time, she could practically hear the resignation in it. “I saw myself going back to the 40s and dancing with Peggy.”

A bolt of jealousy and unease struck her. “Why did Wanda show you that?”

Steve buried his face in her hair, lightly brushing his lips against her ear and making her shiver. “Because she wanted to show us all our biggest fear.”

The unease faded to confusion. “Why was dancing with Peggy your biggest fear?”

“Because she wasn’t you,” Steve said simply. She felt his embrace get a little tighter. “I still care deeply for Peggy, and I try to visit her as much as I can, but I stopped dreaming about a life where I had been with her once I realized my dreams were now about you. I stopped loving her the minute I fell in love with you. Dancing with her… it was a picture of the life I don’t want anymore. It was empty and lifeless because you were gone. You’re my best girl.”

Tears sprung to (Y/N)’s eyes once more. He seemed to sense this and moved his lips from her ear to her temple. He kissed her hair and brushed his nose along her cheekbone. “Let’s go to sleep.”

(Y/N) nodded, and when she spoke she was half teasing, half serious. “Dream of me?”

Steve chuckled. “Always, pretty girl.”

They fell asleep minutes later, the super-soldier holding his girl securely to his chest. They didn’t hear the door open a crack, nor did they see Natasha peek her head in.

She smiled softly when she saw them and shut the door. She turned to face Tony, Clint, Thor, and Bruce, who all eagerly awaited the report.

“They fell asleep cuddling in the bed.” Natasha grinned at Clint. “They finally exchanged their “I love you”s.

Clint had a huge smile on his face, and he turned to Tony and held out his hand. Tony grumbled and handed him a twenty-dollar bill. “You rigged it by giving them the same room.”

“Hey, I did that so he could comfort her in private.” Clint smirked and pocketed the money. “Them finally admitting their feelings was just an added bonus.”

Bruce glanced at Tony. “So if Clint betted they’d admit their feelings, what did you bet?”

“That the Leopard and Capsicle would break the bed,” Tony muttered nonchalantly.

Natasha thumped him and Bruce facepalmed himself. Thor beamed. “No, no. The Captain is far too chivalrous for that. The courting ritual back in Asgard--”

“We can hear you guys,” Steve called, his tone a mixture of tiredness and amusement.

Natasha grabbed the boys and shoved them away from the door. She apologized to Steve and (Y/N) and walked away, muttering, “I swear, men are idiots.”

***

Thanks for reading!!!

[stormxpadme]

There's a bit of fanfiction negativity in the tags :(. Looking for something to cheer me up, what's your personal scogan fanfic favorites?

Yeah, I saw that, both in the scogan and scogean tag, with posts even including the character name tags. Like. Not cool, people. Way to make authors feel shitty who have been guarding the ship lighthouse for the last 20 years. Claiming in the most popular tags, there's only like 1 good fic among more than 1500? Wow, okay. So I was very happy to receive your ask. Let's counter that negativity with some awesome scogan reads!

Damaged by scottxlogan

Can't do any scogan rec list without including the leading authority on the subject. @scottxlogan is the author who pulled me into this ship years ago, not to mention they're a great friend, unbelievably talented writer and artist, and they deserve all the love. Damaged is surely one of their most ambitious projects and deserves every single view, kudos and review out there. Set in the DOFP finale verse that is no doubt the author's specialty, the story comes with an alluring, intricated plot that leaves you on the edge of your seat along with all the feels.

Submission by scottxlogan

I'm also including a newer work by the same author in case you just want to get a feel for how wonderfully she writes these guys, not to mention the shameless steamy goodness that are the author's smut scenes. scottxlogan is an expert at reversing common fandom tropes believably, and this will leave you longing for more of these power exchanges easily.

he carries the reminders by Wolfsheart

@mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea is another great friend and author I would trust even with my biggest squicks (not that she writes those anyway :D). She's not only technically brillant and very well-versed in the lore which makes every pairing she writes a great read (check out her Tony/Emma, too!), but she'll also never fail to make you laugh or put those hearts in your eyes. And don't miss all those pop culture references that even put Peter Parker to shame! She also gives us scogan fans exactly what we need with stories like this one, combining our fav hurt/comfort tropes with a healthy dose of canon fix it.

I loved you since I knew you by strangenewwords

@strangenewwords is a fairly new and dearly beloved addition to our group at @scoganbingo events, but she's already made a huge impact with her delicious smut and angst stories that hit you right in the feels. Technically also brillant, the linked story is definitely one you don't want to get spoilered for beforehand because the ending will leave you in absolute awe and tears. The author doesn't shy away from including the darkest sides of Scott's past but handles every subject with the necessary care and respect, and as I said ... You don't want to miss out on all that delicious smut!

The Day Before the Soldiers Came by Cerylid

Cery is offering a much-needed fixit for the team dynamics between the X-Men and Logan before X2 with this story. It comes with a lot of humor but also far more feels than you expect. The texting is hilarious but it's the quiet tones that get to you.

*****

Speaking of fix-its, since that negativity in the tags kinda got to me, too, I might just throw in one of my own works here too since I also got lots of Scogan stuff out there.

My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

is basically my go-to X3 fix-it. You look for something to make that movie right, you got it all right there. Along with a bit of horror (we are talking about resurrection, after all) comes a dramatic rescue mission in a mental limbo, and you get an Avenger and Emma Frost guest-starring. There's a couple of follow up chapters that explore both scogan and Tony/Emma a bit further, and we even get a Laura version in old movieverse along the line, and of course all the nasty nasty smut you guys are here for.

########

So, that's it from the top of my hat. All these accounts have even more great stories to check out, and there's lots of other scogan authors out there with great stories to enjoy. So don't let anyone tell you, there's no quality scogan stuff on AO3.

[fanficshiddles]

Hot Tub Fun, One Shot

Thank you for the prompt! Hope you like it. Changed the end a tiny bit, as figured Loki wouldn’t be bashful 😉 : crimson25 submitted: The reader of this story is a bit shy and has an unspoken crush on Loki, but he kind of knows. So Tony installs a really big indoor hot tub in the tower and everyone loves it. One day when the reader thinks everyone is gone out or on missions, she decides to partake in a dip...naked. while enjoying a most relaxing dip, she realizes she's not the only one in the tower. Loki strolls in wearing bathing suit shorts but when he sees she's not wearing anything, well now he's intrigued. His comes off. He swims over and starts off by teasing her. It slowly turns into him giving her a shoulder massage and then turns into her riding him under water. Then out of nowhere the team comes back and they have to finish silently....well as silent as they can be. Maybe they're not successful, you can decide.

-

You were glad of the peace when everyone went out on an important mission. You’d been desperate to have some alone time in the new hot tub since Tony had installed it a few weeks ago. The Avengers loved using it, especially after tough missions so you always had to share it with others.

Now, you were all alone and had it all to yourself.

You eyed up the hot bubbling water as you removed your clothes, revealing your bikini. Though as you glanced around, since there was no one about… you decided, why not go in the nude?

The tub was situated in a quiet chill out room where no SHIELD agents or the likes went anyway, it was just the heroes and yourself that used it. It was right next to a large glass window that overlooked the city.

So you took off your bikini and dumped it on top of your other clothes, then climbed into the tub. You let out a groan as you sank down into the hot water, relaxing your whole body. It felt so good.

You took a seat at the side by the window, it was nice to just soak there and look down at the bustling city.

‘This is the life.’ You moaned and shut your eyes for a bit, to enjoy the bubbling water.

You weren’t sure how long had passed, but you suddenly heard footsteps coming towards you. Your eyes shot open and your heart started racing, not only were you not alone now, but it was Loki. Out of everyone, it had to be Loki.

And he was naked, almost. He was just wearing shorts and had a towel draped over his shoulder. You did your best not to stare at his bare chest, though it was difficult. He was just so beautiful.

At first, he had a soft look on his face when he spotted you. Though as he got closer and your pile of clothes came into view, he noticed your bikini on top of the pile. His eyes turned mischievous and a smirk spread over his face.

‘Well, well, well. Skinny dipping, are we?’ He purred.

You sank further down into the water so just your head was poking out, your cheeks felt red hot, and that wasn’t just from the hot water.

‘I… uh… I thought I was alone, that you’d all gone on the mission.’ You admitted sheepishly.

Loki chuckled. ‘I decided to stay behind, they don’t need me for this mission… very glad I did. May I join you?’

You just nodded in response, you were struggling to keep your brain together. You were also a bit worried about your current situation, even though the bubbles and water hid everything, you still felt vulnerable.

Before Loki got in, he placed his towel down and then, to your surprise, he began removing his shorts. Your eyes widened and you quickly turned to the side so you didn’t see him.

‘May as well follow your no swim wear rules.’ Loki said cheekily as he got into the tub, as butt naked as you were.

He let out a sinful groan, that should definitely be an illegal sound, it made you squeeze your thighs together.

‘Why so shy, darling?’ Loki asked as he swam over to sit next to you, you kept yourself down in the water completely.

‘I… just wasn’t expecting company.’ You let out a nervous laugh.

‘You seem very tense… how about a shoulder massage to help you relax, hmm?’ Loki asked with a grin.

‘A… shoulder massage? Really?’ You squeaked.

The thought of having Loki’s hands on you was far too good to turn down, if he was serious. No matter how vulnerable and shy you felt, you couldn’t say no…

‘Really really.’ Loki nodded.

‘Ok.’ You nodded eagerly.

Loki twirled his finger in the air, motioning for you to turn around for him. You did turn, so you were sitting with your back to him.

‘Uh, darling. You’re going to need to sit up more so I can get at your shoulders.’ He chuckled.

You slowly sat up out of the water a bit, so the water was just below your collarbone.

‘Good girl.’ He purred against your ear, his warm breath against you made you tremble.

You trembled even more and melted completely when his large, strong hands landed on your shoulders and he began massaging you. You were surprised how good he was at it, hitting all the right spots and kneading out the knots. It was utter heaven.

‘Oh god.’ You groaned and let your head fall forwards as his hands continued to work their magic.

Loki chuckled cockily. ‘I am a god, yes.’

‘God of pleasure.’ Slipped from your lips, your eyes widened a little upon realising what you said.

Loki didn’t stop massaging you, he didn’t miss a beat. You felt his breath against the back of your neck as he whispered to you again.

‘I most certainly am. And this isn’t the only way I can pleasure you.’

You were complete putty in his hands, and he knew it. He’d known for a while now that you had a crush on him. He’d flirted with you before, quite a lot. Waiting to see if you’d make a move, but he knew that you were of the shy side, so he decided to take the lead now and see if you’d follow.

A brief moment of boldness hit you. ‘Maybe I can pleasure you, too… As a thanks for this massage.’

Loki grinned widely as he finished up your massage.

‘Have you ever had sex in a hot tub?’ He growled at you as he turned you around to face him.

You shook your head and bit your lower lip excitedly.

‘Well, let’s change that for the both of us, hmm?’ He cupped your chin and when you nodded in agreement, he leaned in and kissed you firmly on the lips.

It wasn’t long before his tongue delved into your mouth, moving dominantly yet gently against your own tongue. He had you moaning into him in seconds and you wrapped your arms around his neck as he grabbed at your ass and pulled you onto his lap, so you were straddling him.

You could feel his hardened cock pressing between you, against your stomach. He was turning you on something fiercely, though he had already worked you up with the massage.

He gripped your hips tightly and raised you up enough to position his cock at your entrance, then he slowly pulled you down onto him. You gasped into his mouth as his cock slowly spread you open, making your body accommodate him. The water was washing away your arousal so it was a little uncomfortable at first, but once he was fully in you, he let your body adjust for a moment.

‘Oh… my…’ You gasped out and buried your face into his neck.

He growled and slid his hands down to hold your ass, when he felt your body calm down with the squeezing, he began to lift you up and down on him, slowly at first.

‘Mmm darling, you feel far too good around my cock… So tight.’ He grunted out.

He was hitting all the right spots inside you, you started thrusting up and down on him, riding him as fast as you could.

‘Ohh yes.’ Loki groaned.

You froze completely though when you heard the door opening, and voices from the team echoed around the room.

Loki didn’t seem phased at all, he just smirked and took over with bouncing you up and down on his cock.

‘Loki…’ You whimpered quietly. ‘They’re… back.’

‘Oh well, let them see who you belong to now.’ He growled and gripped your chin with one hand so he could kiss you again, his other hand kept firmly on your ass to move you as he wanted.

You couldn’t stop whimpering against his mouth, even as the team started coming over.

There was nowhere to hide, they were coming directly for the tub and it would be obvious what you and Loki were doing, even if he wasn’t moving you up and down. He certainly didn’t seem to have any inclination to stop…

‘Hey guys… what are… oh no… no no no!’ Tony chanted when he realised what you were up to. ‘NOT IN MY TUB!’

‘Ewww, guys. We have to share that water.’ Natasha commented.

‘Oh god, hide your eyes.’ Bruce said as he covered Clint and Steve’s eyes, making them laugh.

‘Everyone out!’ Thor bellowed, not wanting to see his brother in that way, plus he wanted to give you both privacy.

They had to drag Tony out, as he wanted to strangle Loki for doing the dirty in the hot tub.

‘LOKI! YOU ARE DEAD FOR THIS! HOW DARE YOU DEFILE MY TUB!’

‘OHH YES!’ Loki cried out in pleasure as he came inside you, deliberately being a little louder than he needed to be, but it made you laugh like crazy as you collapsed in pleasure on Loki, an orgasm of your own tore through your body.

Loki remained lodged inside of you, you were too warm and felt too nice around him. He didn’t want to move just yet.

He buried his face into your neck to bite and suck on your skin, making sure to leave a mark.

‘I don’t think the others will be using the tub for a while.’ He chuckled darkly against your skin.

‘Does that mean that we can… stay in longer?’ You giggled and deliberately squeezed on his cock, making him groan.

‘I’d say it certainly does.’ He wrapped his arms around you tightly and thrust up sharply into you, as pay back, making you whimper.

[wheredostarsgowhenyoudie]

Once upon a Monday night after patrol...

Peter (swinging in through the window in the spidey suit, taking his mask off): Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark! Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!

Tony (who is in the middle of fixing Dum-E paused his tinkering at the whoosh, lips twitching to a smirk which he hid by drinking coffee): What, what?

Peter (beaming so wide): I made three friends today! Well four if you count the elusive one who approached me but shied away from the others. I named them Stephy, Stacey, Gwen and Michie!

Tony: Aha, and what are they this time? Birds? Bees? Iguanas?

Peter (still smiling, brings out a phone to show him a photo): They're cats Mr. Stark! And they're so cute, I love them so much! See. One white, one cream, one grey, one black. They're all cat colors!

Tony (shuffles the kid's hair): Hm-hm. Nice going Underoos. Looks like a menagerie.

Peter (suddenly goes shy): Uhm, could we- I mean if it isn't too much, sir, and only if it isn't! Err, could we maybe, if it's alright with you, go to the petting shop for my birthday?

Tony (felt his eyebrows rising automatically, looking at the camera, knowing Friday is already making a list of pet stores he could acquire): You want a pet? Is that your wish?

Peter (looks down): Ahm, no, I just...ahm, I just thought it'd be fun to pet some cats and dogs with you. It'd be a memorable experience, but uhm, you don't have to if you're busy or if...if you'd rather not. No pressure Mr. Stark! I mean, I just thought I'd ask.

Tony (face softening into a smile): Of course. Tell you what, meet me outside your apartment 10AM tom. We'll get breakfast, go to the pet shop and then the other three places I planned to take you to.

Peter (eyes widen): Really? You'd spend the day with me Mr. Stark? But aren't you busy or something?

Tony: Nope. Not at all. All free for my favorite spiderling.

Peter (is unable to hide his excitement and went for a hug): Thanks Mr. Stark!!

Tony (finds himself squeezed by his favorite half arachnid child, not really complaining and patting his kid in return): There, there, Underoos. There, there.

.

.

Later, several people will receive a meeting cancellation and request to reschedule.

President Elis, Nick Fury, Steve Rogers and the entire board of Stark Industries.

And when they reach out to Pepper Potts to ask what the heck, her polite and professional answer would be simple and concise.

"Code S," she would say, and they would all perk up into a knowing smile, understanding and accepting the code for what it is.

Code S. Reserved for one specific boy from Queens who happens to be Friday's, every Stark employee's and every affiliate's and partner's top priority over everything as per the mandate from Tony Stark himself. Everything else will be put next in line if the code is triggered.

There's even a video/threat attachment to the email to discourage anyone who dares disobey or violate the terms and agreement.

Officially, it stands for Code Superior. In front of Tony and Peter, the avengers sometimes call it Code Spider-man, even if Peter has no idea about the mandate and signed agreement that anyone who needs Tony Stark/Iron-Man to work with or for them has to sign. But they all knew it meant something else anyway.

Code S, in Friday's coding and among Tony's closest relations, could only stand for one thing. Code Son. A spot unofficially but exclusively reserved for one clueless Peter Benjamin Parker.

[crazyunsexycool]

Since HoneyBee is a very shy kid, it's difficult for her to get along with people.

So when she starts kindergarten, Lottie and Henry and there to look after her!

And imagine Henry and Lottie threatening whoever was bullying Bee and Steve and Bucky can't believe what they are seeing!

History repeating itself! Just like Bucky protecting Steve against bullies, it's the same now!

🥺🥺🥺🥺 poor little HoneyBee!! Although because of the age difference I feel like Lottie and Henry wouldn’t be in the same school as Bee so they wouldn’t be able to protect her there but they could at the compound. Since Tony loves doing events for the team and the compound employees I feel like the kids get to know each other well. That’s where the bullying would happen.

Bee is 5

Peanut is 6

Lottie is 10/11

Henry is 14/15

Just so you guys have an idea…

The Barnes protection squad

Warning: pushing, name calling, protective Barnes kids, little bit of crying.

Bee was a shy girl. She usually had a serious expression or a scowl on her face. She was very sweet once she was comfortable around people but it made it hard to make friends. Bee relied on her most trusted friends to help her out in big groups, the Barnes kids. At family events in the compound she was always close to one of them.

Today she was enjoying the little carnival uncle Tony was hosting with Peanut, who was only a year older than her. They were walking hand in hand as they found what to do next. Although they felt free without their parents hovering over them, Steve and Bucky were keeping an eye on the pair.

Blonde curls and black hair bounced around the yard as the kids found something to play.

“We can try this one Bee.” Peanut points to the whack-a-mole machine just ahead of them.

“Ok.”

Peanut takes her hand and they run towards the game. Bee grabs the small hammer since no one was in line.

“Hey I was going to play next.” A boy shouts at Bee before grabbing the toy hammer and ripping it away from her. “Give me that.” The group of about five kids start laughing at Bee as she starts try cry after he pushed her and she fell.

“That’s not fair. Give it back.” Peanut argued just Lottie walks up to the group.

“What are you going to do about it loser?” He pushes Peanut away, causing them to fall too.

“Don’t touch them.”

“Oh look it’s the queen of the weirdos.”

“Shut up and give let them play. They were here first.” Lottie stands in front of the smaller kids, hands on her hips and angry expression on her face.

“Make me.” The boy who had started it all gets in Lottie’s face taunting her.

Lottie takes a deep breath to calm down in order to not hurt him. At this point Steve is ready to jump in and stop the argument but Bucky holds him back, telling him that they have to learn to fend for themselves.

“I said let them play.”

“And I said, make me, you freak.”

The moment the words left his mouth Lottie was already grabbing his wrist and twisting it so that he would drop the hammer. Then she grabbed his neck and pushed him down, his face squished against the whack-a-mole machine. He started crying getting the attention of the people around him.

“Never mess with them, understand?”

“Get your hands off of my brother.” An even older boy rushes to get Lottie off of the boy she has pinned down. Before he can put a hand on her, Henry shows up.

“You touch my sister I’ll break your hand.”

“Look at what she’s doing. Her with her freakish strength, she’s going to break my brother’s arm. Those little shits started it anyway.” He motions to where Peanut and Bee are standing. Peanut trying to comfort Bee by giving her a hug.

“The one who started it was that little dipshit of a brother you have.” He looks over his shoulder at Lottie and gives a little nod. Lottie lets him go. “Get them out of here.”

“C’mon guys.”

“I want mommy.” Bee says quietly into Lottie’s shoulder after the latter picked her up.

“We’ll go find her now. Peanut give me your hand.”

As soon as they walk away Bucky walks up to the teenagers and pushes them away from each other. Henry was more than ready to fight for his siblings and Bee.

“That’s enough. Get your brother and make sure he understands that he can’t be a bully and get his way.”

“What are you going to do if I don’t?”

Bucky chuckles as Steve walks up behind the door older boy.

“I am going to make your life and your brother’s life hell for making my little girl cry.” Steve warns.

Both boys go pale as they look up at Steve in horror.

“Sorry, we didn’t know-“

“That’s not an excuse. Your behavior was unacceptable. If you ever want to be invited back you better fix your attitude, son.”

By the end of Steve’s rant the boy who had started it all was a crying mess. He hung his head low and let his brother lead him away.

“Uuhh, the Captain voice.” Henry joked. “I think they peed their pants uncle Steve.”

“Good, those little shits made my girl cry. I’m gonna go see if she’s ok.”

“She’s fine.” Henry points to where Lottie is playing with Peanut and Bee, blowing bubbles and letting them pop them. “You worry too much old man, we’ll always look after her.”

Steve takes a deep breath as Henry walks away. He watches as Lottie kneels in front of Bee and gives a hug after wiping something off her face. Bucky places a hand on Steve’s shoulder as he watches the same thing.

“Every Rogers needs a Barnes and lucky enough Bee got three.”

[aurumacadicus]

Tony gets personal mail a week after he sends off his Dear John letter. He stares at it like it's a venomous snake, hands shaking whenever he reaches to open it. Finally, he takes it to Pepper, too ashamed of the disgust he might see on Rhodey's face when he tells him why he's scared to open it. (Rhodey had received a Dear John letter on his first deployment and it left him gun-shy of starting relationships anymore. Tony had promised he'd never be like the girl who broke his heart, wait to break up in person, but the idea of faking it in letters for eighteen months just to drop Steve on his ass as soon as he saw him feels no better.)

"...Tony," Pepper whispers, shoving the letter back at him frantically. "He hasn't gotten your letter yet."

"HUH?!" Tony bellows, snatching the letter open, and crumples to the ground when he sees it laden with 'sweetheart's and 'baby's and 'honey's. There's also some really raunchy stuff that he is mortified that Pepper saw. He looks back up at her, clutching the letter to his chest. "What. What do I do."

"Well, I don't think you can write back at this point," Pepper says after a brief pause.

So Tony doesn't, even though he keeps reading and rereading Steve's letter. Steve just didn't know he'd been broken up with when he'd written it. When Tony's letter catches up to him, he'll learn why Tony never wrote back to the one he sent. It's embarrassing, but, what can he do.

But Steve's letter's keep coming, week after week, and it dawns on Tony, as he reads about the things Steve's been doing, and he finally gets the PS of "I know mail is dodgy where I am but when are you going to write back :(", that his Dear John letter... must have gotten lost in the mail. Steve doesn't know Tony broke up with him two months ago.

Tony sits down to write another one, but in the end, he can't quite bear to write 'I think it's better if we part ways' twice. Especially not when he's found himself enjoying Steve's letters. Part of the reason he'd wanted to break up was because he knew he was clingy, and he'd never managed a long-distance relationship before (although, he realizes as he stares at the blank paper, he'd never broken up with anyone because of it; he'd been the one broken up with). Plus, all of Steve's comrades had such involved family and friends when it came to their service. Tony doesn't have the leisure of going hard for the army when his company is trying to change its image. Steve had said he'd understood, but he'd also looked a little sad about it. He hadn't really wanted to break up, anyway, he figures, rubbing a hand over his face. He'd just been trying to get ahead of Steve dumping him.

So he sends Steve a letter. He tells him his other letter must have gotten lost, but there was nothing important in it. He'll try to write more often. He just didn't know how often Steve would get his letters. He pauses writing again after sending it off, but then he gets a letter back from Steve telling him he was sorry he missed the other letter, and yes, mail calls might be sparse, but he'd happily take a stack of letters with the same joy as the letters trickling in one by one.

Tony falls more in love with Steve through their letters. This is a different side of him than he's ever seen before, somehow impossibly sweeter and yet even more sincere. He understands why Steve insisted on letters instead of emails beyond the basic 'there's not always internet where we are.' He adores going back, reading over things, tracing his fingers over the ink as if he can read how Steve felt when he wrote. He can't wait for Steve to come back from his deployment so he can see him face-to-face, tell him all about his stupid first letter and how glad he was that it got lost. Steve will almost certainly laugh. Tony's confident in that now.

And then, all at once, the letters stop. Tony doesn't notice at first--sometimes mail is sporadic. Steve can't give him his exact location, but he knows enough that sometimes, bags of letters aren't important compared to bags of supplies. He keeps writing, hesitantly deciding that maybe they're just... moving locations? Or. It's too dangerous for mail. Which is scary. But Steve being deployed is scary in general anyway. So. And Steve said he'd like a stack of letters. He'll be delighted by the size of the stack he gets.

Then one day his letter comes back. He didn't even know the army did 'return to sender.' He stares at the envelope for a long time. Maybe he'd gotten the address wrong. Maybe they moved? He doesn't know how addresses work in deployment. He turns the letter over, to see if it's still sealed.

DEAR JOHN is scrawled on the back, in big, block letters.

Tony drops it as if it burned him, and he claps his hands over his mouth to muffle the wounded keen tearing at his throat.

[braveclementine]

Chapter 32

Warnings: None

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own a few OCs like Elizabeth, Katherine, Stacy, and Jessie. I do not condone any copying of this.

"Are you sure?" You asked Elizabeth. You, Elizabeth, Jessie, Katherine, Stacy, Y/S/N, and Wanda were all sitting together in the living room. You guys had a sort of tea party vibe going on with the cups and the small sandwiches and cookies.

"Yeah, I mean, I feel ready." Elizabeth said with a shrug. "Vis and Wanda are already married. Hogun's been waiting for a thousand years give or take, and Pietro is ready as well. Besides, I want to make sure I have enough children for this stupid thing, you know? Of course, we'll probably have more than three, I've always wanted a lot of kids."

You nodded, "How soon?"

"Next month." Katherine said with a shrug. "We figured something small. Just family and friends. Nothing like your guys, you know?" She winked at you.

"How'd ya'll get the Avengers?" Stacy grumbled. "Seriously!?"

You laughed. "Luck of the draw."

"How are things between you and Jackson?" Katherine asked.

"Fine." Stacy said and then a shy smile slid over her face, "We're expecting a baby in six months."

"Wait, seriously?" Jessie asked. "What! You waited four months to tell us?"

"Well, I didn't even realize I was pregnant till I went to the doctors." Stacy shrugged.

"That's fantastic." Y/S/N said, genially.

"But I don't understand." Stacy said, frowning and turning the conversation around, looking at Wanda, "Do they expect you to have a child as well? With, well, you know, a robot as your husband?"

"I don't know." Wanda said, shrugging. "Tony is going to talk to Ross and we'll see how things play out from there. Same goes for Natasha."

You nodded. "I don't know how they expect the widows to have any children. They should've put exceptions in the clause."

"I suppose they could move to other countries." Jessie said thoughtfully.

"Yeah, but it's not as simple as it sounds." Y/S/N said. "Kind've hard to uproot your life and move to another house or state. Probably a lot harder to move whole countries."

"That's fair." Stacy nodded.

"Whose Ross?" Katherine asked.

You rolled your eyes. "Someone I really hate. Haven't even met him, but I already don't like him. He's one of the federal agents. Military general I think?"

"Everett Ross or Thaddeus Ross?" Wanda asked.

"Um Thaddeus." You answered. "The one that had Bruce hunted down and then later was the one who came up with the accords."

Wanda's face hardened, "Great."

"Tsk someone should've set fire to those accords a long time ago." Stacy declared. "Stupidest thing I'd ever heard of."

"I agree." You admitted. "The Government should never be allowed to run a group of strong people who have powers."

Elizabeth looked rather thoughtful, "But the idea behind the papers was a slightly good one. There does need to be some sort of order I think. Not necessarily controlled order, but just something so that it doesn't seem. . . to out of control, you know what I mean? Balance."

"Anyways, weddings." Katherine declared.

You checked your watch, "I hate to leave so soon, but I have a date with Rhodey so I will be seeing you guys later."

"Have fun." Wanda smirked at you.

You rolled your eyes, grabbing your purse to sling over your shoulder before you made your way to the front of the house.

"Hey." James said, kissing you on the lips. "Ready to go?"

"Yep." You said, slipping your hand into his before the two of you left the house.

***

"Okay, that one is pretty cute." Rhodey admitted as the two of you were shopping puppies. Steve absolutely loved dogs and puppies. He tolerated the kittens because of Bucky, and he did really adore the rabbits, but he absolutely loved Ginny.

The way that Bucky was with kittens was the way that Steve was with puppies. When he was around them, he lost all sight of what was really important. 'Who cares' was often the words that left his lips.

So you and Rhodey were now searching for the right dog for Steve's upcoming birthday.

"He'll want a dog that he can adore and play with now, but when it grows up can join him on runs." Rhodey said, so the two of you moved rather reluctantly from the white puffballs dogs.

"Maybe a husky then?" You questioned, "Or a golden or black lab. Maybe a German Shepherd?"

"Labs are pretty good dogs." Rhodey said. "What breed of a lab do you think he'd like best? Chocolate, black, or golden?"

"Gosh, I don't know, they're all so cute, look at them." You said and then an idea popped into your head, "I know! He's called America's golden boy! So let's get him a golden boy!"

"Excellent idea." Rhodey grinned at you.

The two of you took turns with the puppies, seeing which ones seemed the most energetic and receptive to people and you both finally decided on a good sized puppy that the shop keepers let you know was a boy.

Rhodey laughed as the two of you left the pet store, "You know what's funny?"

"What's that?" You questioned, letting the puppy leap around on its leash.

"I have just realized that each animal pair we have is one male and one female." Rhodey finished with a grin.

"Oh, that's true." You said, surprised you hadn't realized it till this point. "Mini Loki doesn't really seem to like Alpine though."

"Nope, Mini Loki is exactly like his owner. In front of everyone, he acts like he hates Alpine. But Clint was sneaking through the vents and caught the two kittens curled up together. Mini Loki was even licking Alpine's ears. He got a picture too."

He pulled out his phone, quickly showing you the two pictures that Clint had gotten.

"Oh my gosh." You squealed, taking the phone from Rhodey to look even closer at the pictures. "They're so cute together!"

"Oh yeah, Mini Loki is going to be one proud father." Rhodey grinned. "Gonna be strutting around till the kits are born."

"Alpine's pregnant?" You gasped, handing the phone back to Rhodey.

"Bucky says she is." Rhodey laughed, taking your other hand that wasn't occupied by the leash and the two of you headed back towards the car. "But I swear he's said this multiple times before. Whenever Alpine acts differently, he immediately thinks she's pregnant."

"Fury will freak if Alpine gives birth." You laughed.

"We'll have to catch a video when it happens." Rhodey agreed, opening the passenger door for you.

You thanked him, scooping the puppy up in your arms before climbing into the front seat of the truck.

"Wonder what Stevie will name him." You said, petting the lab who was slowly going to sleep in your arms as Rhodey drove down the road.

"Probably something generic like Pumpkin or Sunny or Buddy." Rhodey stated, driving down the highway now that would lead the two of you back to the house.

"Probably." You agreed. Steve did like simple. Unless it was in bed of course. He was surprisingly rather kinky, only fueled by Bucky and Sam. Loki was rather kinky too, now that you were really thinking about it. Stephen and Tony certainly got up to bondage in bed, especially when Stephen- and Loki- could simply conjure chains from nothing.

So it was always nice to be with Rhodey or T'Challa or Fury, where they were rather simple, but also extremely passionate. Thor was a mixture. Some days he was very vanilla, simple love making and sweetness, and other days. . . well sometimes he let his hammer come to play- literally. Electric shocks- in very light doses- were even better than a vibrator. And he may or may not find it rather euphoric to fuck you with the handle of the hammer. But that was never something you let any of the others know about.

Rhodey parked around back where the cars went, turning the truck off. "Where are we going to hide him until his birthday next week?"

"Oh, Katherine will probably be leaving soon. She's going to take him back to her flat." You responded.

You caught Rhodey's eye and then leaned over the other seat to press your lips to his. His hand trailed to the back of your head. The kiss got more heated as you leaned forward, reaching behind you to snap the seat buckle out.

Rhodey pulled you onto his lap and you could feel him grow steadily harder under you. "James." You mumbled, kissing down his neck.

"Fuck sugar." He drawled, a slight accent pooling as he spoke.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the window and you pulled apart. Katherine was standing there, arms crossed over her chest, a smirk on her face, her eyebrows raised.

You and Rhodey growled in sync before you slid off his lap, throwing the passenger door open.

"Having fun?" Katherine asked as you stepped out of the truck, pulling the puppy out and slamming the door closed behind you. You could hear another door slam as Rhodey got out of the truck too.

"Where's Steve?" You asked, shielding the puppy from any views the house might have.

"Workout room." Katherine rolled her eyes. "He's on his sixth punching bag."

You sighed. "Here's the puppy. He's a boy. Doesn't have a name yet, Stevie's gonna name him."

"Bet he'll have a really fitting name for the dog." Katherine smiled as she took the eager puppy into her arms. "Hey there buddy."

"See you next week Kat." You said, giving her a side hug before she walked over to where her car was.

Rhodey took your hand as the two of you walked back into the mansion that you called home.

"So, shall we start back up where we left off?"

You pulled him down for a kiss in answer.

***

On the Fourth of July, you all bustled around to plan Steve's birthday party. Bucky and Sam had taken him out with Ginny, while all of his close and intimate friends- along with soulmates- came by to help set up.

Elizabeth was busy in the kitchen. She was even better than you at making food- or so it seemed, you were actually rather equal- and she had taken it upon herself to help with the cake.

She stared at the cooled off cake, a dish of homemade frosting next to her.

"Something wrong?" You asked.

She sighed. "I am not. . . the best at frosting cakes, I admit. Why did I decide to make the cake? I should've let a professional do it."

You chuckled, taking the spatula from her hand. "Here, I'll show you."

You took some of the frosting from the bowl, showing her how to spread it on the cake, smoothing it out, covering the edges, so that a nice layer of thick white frosting covered the entire cake evenly.

"Damn." Elizabeth muttered before picking up the red and blue frosting which she used to write: Happy Birthday Steve in cursive. She also used it to make a few decorative stars while you grabbed the candles to put on the cake. They were just numbers 1-0-8, which always made you laugh since he was really in his 40's, having gone into ice at 27, not coming out for 80 something years.

Elizabeth put the cake in the refrigerator when the two of you were done so it would stay refreshed until Steve got back with Buck and Sam.

The party was outside and there were plenty of streamers hanging up in the trees, balloons tied to the backs of chairs, everything in the colours of red, white, and blue. Both as a commemorative to the fourth of July, and also to Steve's soulmate colours.

"You know, I'm kind've excited for my birthday." Elizabeth said, grinning as she helped bring out a plate of hotdog buns for Thor who was grilling.

"Why's that?" You asked curiously.

She set the buns down by the grill before the two of you walked back to get the potato chips. "It'll be Harry Potter themed!"

You laughed, "Of course that's what you're excited about."

After everything was set up, you went and texted Bucky, who let you know that they were almost home.

"Everything ready?" Clint asked, dressed in a purple and yellow Mr Beast shirt with blue jeans cutting off at his knees.

"Yep." You answered, kissing Clint's cheek. "I think so anyways. I feel like we're going to forget something."

Clint smirked a little, drawing his arms around you. "Nonsense. You've been planning this for a while now. You've got the perfect present for him. The only thing I'm worried about is Thor's surprise."

You felt your heart speed up. Indeed, Thor had let all of you know that he was making a surprise announcement for Steve's birthday. Despite your love for Thor, his sweetness, his inability to hurt his friends- on purpose- and his just normally cuddly attitude, you were still a bit scared he was going to say something nonsensical or something that might ruin the atmosphere.

You heard a truck pull up outside. "That's Steve."

Clint kissed you on the lips before disappearing into the house. You quickly grabbed a blindfold, wrapping it around your hand, before you opened the door upon hearing their footsteps come up the walk.

"You're back!" You squealed excitedly, launching yourself into Steve's arms.

"Hey cookie." He said, catching you to kiss and hug you. "What's with all the excitement."

"It's your birthday!" You squealed, before quickly wrapping the fabric around his eyes and taking his hand. "C'mon, I have a surprise for you."

"And no, it's not in the bedroom." Sam quipped behind you guys.

"Yet." Bucky muttered with a chuckle.

You led Steve out into the backyard where everyone was waiting, trying to keep silent. Ginny was let off her leash by Bucky before you untied the blindfold and Steve smiled as he took in the sight.

"SURPRISE!" The others shouted.

"Thanks cookie." He mumbled, kissing the top of your head. He also turned around to thank his boys.

You went around the side of the house where Rhodey was waiting with the golden boy. You picked him up in your arms and you came over to Steve, Rhodey trailing you. "James and I got him for you as a birthday present." You said, blushing.

Steve's grin lit up the whole damn party, taking the puppy into his arms, "Hi Buster."

"Damn." Clint muttered behind me, pulling out a ten and handing it over to Nat.

"That's an adorable name." You said.

"It kind've just slipped of the tongue." Steve grinned, before petting the dogs head. Bucky winked at you behind his back.

You grinned and then after Steve put Buster down, everyone started to settle around the table or on the grass on picnic blankets, eating, handing Steve presents, and just plain having fun.

After a while, Elizabeth finally went to retrieve the cake, very careful to place it in front of Steve before Bucky lit the candles.

He blushed the entire way through the 'Happy Birthday song', especially as Sam, Buck, and Clint made sure to yell inappropriate things in between the pauses, before blowing out the candles.

When Steve opened up the cake, he found that it was stacked in layers of red, white, and blue dyed cake.

"Looks amazing Elizabeth." Steve thanked her, before cake was handed out to those who want it.

"Y/N frosted it." Elizabeth said with a shrug. "That's the only reason it looks good."

Steve grinned, pulling you onto his lap. "Thank you cookie."

You blushed before pecking him on the lips.

You got your own slice of cake, taking shelter under one of the large trees. Loki sat down next to you. "Tired?"

"Hot." You mumbled, watching Clint hit T'Challa with one of the water balloons, making T'Challa jump five feet in the air, before running after Clint with a water gun.

Loki slung his arm over your shoulder, a coolness seeping through you.

"What do you think Thor wants to announce?" You asked curiously, wondering if Thor would have told his brother or not.

"No idea." Loki said, sighing. "Hopefully nothing dreadful. But it probably won't be, he's not drunk."

"He can't get drunk of mortal drink, remember?" You asked with a laugh. There was a bit of beer, though it was mostly sodas that were being drunk at the moment.

"Of course I remember." Loki chuckled. "It's one of the worst things about losing Asgard. Besides, you know, losing our home and all of that."

"I'm so-"

Loki cut off your apology with a kiss. "I don't understand why mortals apologize for things that are their fault."

"Shows empathy." You smirked.

"Are you sad about the wedding?" Loki asked.

"I have gotten used to Elizabeth, Pietro, Vision, Wanda, and Hogun living here." You admitted. "It's kind've nice, actually, to have some other girls here. But all the same, I'm glad that they're getting to move on with their lives. Do you know where they plan on moving after this?"

"Elizabeth wants to move to Florida. Hogun and Pietro don't mind and neither does Wanda, but Vision doesn't like the idea of being so far away from New York and neither does Jessie and Katherine. I'm not sure what they plan to do on that. They'll probably come up with some sort of compromise and just find a farm in New York."

"Right, Elizabeth, Hogun, Wanda, and Pietro all want to live on a farm." You said. "I'm sure everything will be great for them."

"There's also Sif." Loki said thoughtfully. "Hogun and her haven't seen each other for a while, not since he had the bond with Elizabeth, but at the same time, he and Sif have had a long, long time to get to know each other. Plus, Sif still has Fandral and Volstagg."

"What do Heimdall and Kat plan on doing, do you know?" You asked. You had always been curious about the Warrior three and Sif. But Heimdall was just so mysterious and strong looking. Now, without having anything or anywhere to guard, he was happily spending time with Kat.

"Not sure. They might stay in Ohio. Or go to Cali."

You and Loki sat in silence for some time, watching the others mess around. A full on water fight had happened, though no one invited you and Loki into it, knowing that the two of you probably needed some time together. Plus, none of your boys would have dared sprayed you with water. You would've been mad at them.

"Elizabeth has a rather unfair advantage." Loki pointed out as Elizabeth deflected all water missiles, sending them towards her opponents.

"I wonder what it would be like to have her powers." You said thoughtfully. "I wonder how they work."

"I have an announcement!" Thor suddenly shouted and you and Loki quickly got to your feet to join the others at the table.

"Oh for the love of Odin." Loki murmured, low enough for you to hear. "I hope this is good."

You wrapped your arms around one of Loki's and he smiled at you before turning his attention back to Thor.

"And what is this news?" Clint asked on the other side of you. Nat was edging forward, rubbing her fingers together for just Clint to see. They must've made a bet on this as well. That made you roll your eyes.

"It is great news!" Thor said, turning to look at you with blue eyes, "Y/N is pregnant!"

[themculibrary]

bottom!bucky x top!steve Masterlist

Links Last Checked: January 12th, 2024

Ain't No Rest for the Wicked (ao3) - Kellyscams E, 305k

Summary: Steve's just moved back to Brooklyn after spending ten years in California trying to make a life for himself as an artist right after high school. Having escaped to the other side of the country following the sudden death of his mother, Steve feels guilty about abruptly leaving all his friends for so long, unfulfilled, scared and nervous about started college at his age, and unbelievably lonely. So when he meets Bucky Barnes, a young sex-worker, at a bar the night before his first day of classes, temptations might be too high to resist.

One night paying for sex with the most sinfully gorgeous guy is nothing to brag to the papers about, huh?

S'not like he'll ever see him again anyway...

...Right?

Call Boy (ao3) - L1av E, 149k

Summary: Bucky Barnes was skyrocketing through promotions at his advertising firm. Now, a partnership position is opening and if Bucky wants to see his name on the building, he needs to impress not only Mr. Tony Stark, but his wife Pepper. To do this, it takes a team, a couple to be exact. Bucky asks his ex-wife Natasha to set him up with the perfect girl, blonde, tall, thick thighs and huge tits, but with the personality that’ll get Pepper all smiles.

What Bucky gets? Tall, blonde, thick thighs…and a penis. Can this male escort pretend to not only be Bucky’s fiance but also impress Pepper enough to win Bucky the promotion? Is he going to impress Bucky enough to get him to sleep with him?

Steve loves working for his tip.

Collar Full of Chemistry (ao3) - 2bestfriends E, 188k

Summary: Steve is very rich and desperate to feel in control of his life again after a recent divorce has left him feeling bitter and lonely. When he keeps crossing paths with a disaster twenty-something, an unconventional solution presents itself. Steve's always been one for following his instincts.

Bucky is very broke and can't seem to catch a break, especially after some asshole fires him for one fucking mistake. So of course, it follows that he should sign a contract agreeing to do everything and anything that same asshole wants for a whole year in exchange for a payout that could finally change his life for the better.

—

AKA a fantasy BDSM romance featuring heavy mutual pining, feelings denial, and enough kink to blackout a bingo card. We know what we're about, son.

G.I. Joes and 2AM Diners (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain E, 100k

Summary: They look nothing like what they used to. Time and life have completely changed them. But as they sit there in silence, eating two halves of one cupcake, letting Brooklyn remind there where they came from, and enjoying a sky full of stars… They are those same little boys, somewhere deep down. For just a second, you’d be able to see them again.

And Bucky thinks to himself that maybe it’s little moments like these – fleeting as they may be – that remind him why life is still worth living.

Gimme Sugar (ao3) - geneticallydead E, 10k

Summary: Bucky wants to be Steve's sugar baby, and isn't exactly shy about it.

Of Broken Dreams and Mended Hearts (ao3) - Kellyscams M, 354k

Summary: When the House of Barnes is left in massive debt after the death of George Barnes, their oldest son and heir, Bucky, is forced to sacrifice his own hopes and dreams by entering an arranged married to Steve Rogers. Steve seems kind enough, has a prominent job in the government, and was even voted Society's Best Catch. But the House Rogers is significantly higher in status than Bucky's family, which means Bucky is marrying up in Society, and marrying up doesn't only come with rewards, it also comes with certain...expectations and losses--some of which Bucky might be willing to do anything to avoid. And those opportunities might come his way.

Unless, of course, he actually starts falling in love with his new husband...

Omega Interrupted (ao3) - pandafish E, 80k

Summary: Bucky isn't a normal omega. He hasn't hit his first proper heat yet, but still it feels like he's in an almost constant state of heat. His sexual dysfunction causes the omega boarding school where he goes to send him to a clinic meant to deal with this stuff - a massive brick mansion in the middle of the beautiful woods. When Dr Steve Rogers, expert in omega medicine, sees Bucky however he's perplexed. He's never seen an omega with this particular problem before, especially not in someone so young.

So Steve decides to take him in, and since he doesn't quite know how to treat him, he just needs to experiment. And soon Bucky finds himself spending his days strapped to a chair or bench being subjected to all kinds of pleasurable machines and medical treatments by a very handsome alpha doctor...

Omega Services: Rut Assistant (ao3) - roe87 E, 175k

Summary: Bucky and his family are in desperate need of money so he signs himself up to Omega Services, essentially agreeing to rent out his body to an alpha in return for a substantial amount of cash.

As it happens, male omegas are in high demand and Bucky gets assigned a cushy corporate gig. He is now the omega of some hotshot special agent in a secretive government agency.

Bucky doesn't know much about his new alpha, Commander Rogers, but that doesn't matter. Bucky's job and sole purpose now is to wait at home for his alpha with his legs spread, and make sure his alpha is satisfied.

Surely that won't be too difficult?

Orgasmus (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain E, 13k

Summary: It had always felt like his life was nothing but decision-making; what with work, taking out the dames, making ends meet all the time at home - Bucky was always expected to have the answers. That’s how society told him he needed to be. When he was at home, though, things were different. The second his shoes came off and that front door was closed, the only thing Bucky had always wanted was for someone to take care of him.

Not ‘someone’, not really. Steve. Bucky wanted Steve to take care of him.

Salami (ao3) - L1av E, 25k

Summary: Everyone hears stories about the idiots who have to go to the ER to get random objects removed from their asses. If someone told Bucky he’d be spending his weekend in the hospital for one of the most embarrassing occurrences of his life, he’d probably laugh in their face and tell them to go fuck off. But here he is, in the ER with eleven inches of packaged, cold salami stuck up his ass. To make matters worse, his nurse is really hot. Really hot.

Join Bucky for one of the most awkward and yet comical experiences of his life that leads to self-discovery, trust and maybe even love.

Somnophilia (ao3) - OhCaptainMyCaptain E, 7k

Summary: In the bedroom, whatever Bucky wants, Bucky gets; and right now, Bucky wants Steve screaming by the time he’s finished with him.

Sugar Sweet (ao3) - ColorCoated E, 173k

Summary: College Student Bucky finds himself immediately attracted to Steve. He knows that Steve's a bit older than him, and that Steve himself is put off by the age difference. . . But that doesn't stop Bucky from wanting to climb him like a tree. AKA a Sugar Daddy AU that no one was asking for.

Take Me to Church (ao3) - neversaydie E, 124k

Summary: Steve Rogers is a struggling artist. It's not as romantic as it sounds.

What Steve really wants is a job as a session musician. He can play enough instruments that he could make a decent amount of money doing it, but in New York there are just too many talented musicians and not enough jobs to go around. So he takes jobs in hipster bars, hotel lobbies, at weddings and bar mitzvahs and office parties.

If he gets one more request for Let it Go, he swears he'll find it within himself to punch a child.

He lives in a tiny, shitty apartment with Sam, who was his sort-of-boyfriend for a few weeks until he decided Steve's very domestic relationship goals weren't for him. They're still pretty much best friends, luckily for Steve, because when the regular pianist at Sam's dance company runs away to Canada he's recommended his roommate and got him the job before Steve even knows about it.

Dancers. Steve's going to have to spend his days with dancers. Great.

The Simple Life (ao3) - howler32557038 E, 114k

Summary: "The simple life."

"You'll get there one day."

"I don't know. Family, stability...The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out."

Bucky wants to be part of Steve's life. He wants to be an Avenger. He wants to be a good partner. Unfortunately, sometimes that means not telling Steve everything.

Think I'm Finally Clean (ao3) - fuck_me_barnes E, 4k

Summary: In which sub Bucky wishes for rougher handling by normally gentle dom Steve, and gets probably more than he bargained for.

We have not touched the stars (ao3) - sangha E, 21k

Summary: Steve is still adjusting to life in the 21st century. His life nowadays is mostly lonely. Though he appreciates her good intentions, he always rebuffs Natasha's efforts to set him up on a date; he simply isn't interested in pursuing anything romantic.

At least, until Steve gets drunk on Asgardian liquor and a ridiculously handsome stranger at the bar catches his eye.

[brooooswriting]

if you could write natasha x super soldier!reader. natasha just absolutely smitten with reader. loves her abs and muscles and just gets shy and stuff when reader flirts with her or does something to show off her muscles and stuff example carrying something super heavy like it weighs nothing 😄 maybe reader is working on a car or something and nat sees her and just some teasing and flirting with them getting together in the end

Super super soldier

You yourself didn’t even quite know how you ended up here, at the avengers as a super soldier. It was crazy and it seemed like HYDRA took part in it, but you didn’t know.

You were a normal girl from New York, sporty and smart but still trying to survive college. Until one night someone seemed to kidnap you and the next morning you woke up in the avengers tower. To say you were confused was a big understatement. They explained to you that they were rescuing experiments from a HYDRA base where they also found you and that it seems like they gave you the same powers as Steve Rogers.

You didn’t wanna believe it until you got frustrated and hit a table causing it to break. So there you were between heroes as someone who didn’t even know themself before this and now you had to start from zero.

And while you were happy that they rescued you so fast it did make things harder. You didn’t have terrible memories like Wanda, Pietro and all the other enhanced individuals, so often you just stood at the side and listened to them.

But it did have a good thing, your game was even more up than before. Nearly all the girls wanted you which was, not gonna lie, pretty cool until you got close to Romanoff. Damn Romanoff. You might think being able to have every women is cool, but that’s only until you realize that there’s only one woman you want.

But lucky enough your charm also kinda worked on her. You didn’t quite notice but it did. People always said you had “game” which confused you as your only “game” was being nice and worshiping the other person.

“We need someone to seduce him” Tony said in one of the meetings. “What about Nat? She’s beautiful, has a nice character and is a great spy. There’s nothing that could go wrong right?” You said looking around the group seeing everybody nod and a bright red Natasha. “Thank you y/n” she mumbled and you gave her a quick nod.

When the meeting was over you made your way to the trainings room only to be stopped by Natasha. “Y/n, thank you for saying what you said in there, you know…. Not only seeing my body” she mumbled the last part but due to your super-hearing you heard it anyways. “Well, sweetheart, it’s just the truth. You’re great and I’m sorry that all the males just see a beautiful face instead of the intelligent and nice personality” you told her laying one of your hands on her waist. You giggled when you saw her turn red and hugged her before making your way into the training room.

——————————————————————————

Natasha was more than happy when everybody agreed on Yelena moving into the compound but what she wasn’t happy about at all was the moving. There was nothing she hated more than carrying boxes upstairs but luckily for her you were never far.

“Romanoff, need help?” You called through the hall pausing your interaction with some shield agent who was clearly checking you out. “If you don’t mind” she said nearly letting the box fall so you jogged over and took it from her. “Why don’t you just accompany me while I carry the boxes huh?” You said and she nodded.

Tony and Sam were fascinated. The agent you just talked to was ‘incredibly hot’ and you didn’t even say goodbye or anything as you went to Natasha.

While they discussed about how someone could be so in love Nat was busy starring at your arms while you carried the boxes. You only wore a top so the spy could see your flexed mussels even better. After about 10 heavy boxes you finally met Yelena. “Omg, sestra. Is this the girl you always talk about? No wonder you like her, she’s hot” Yelena said before even greeting you causing you to giggle. “I’m y/n, it’s nice to meet you” you told her extending your hand. After shaking hands you noticed that the redhead left the room without you noticing.

As you were about to search for her Steve found you. “Y/l/n, so you think you could take a look at my car? I need it for my mission in two hours and it won’t turn on” he requested as you used to be a mechanic. “Uhm, sure. I’ll take a look” you decided to look for Nat after repairing Steve’s car.

You worked on Steve’s car for over an hour when you pulled off your top revealing your sports bra before rolling under the car again.

“Y/n?” You heard Romanoff say and you rolled out underneath the car. “Nat, hey, I wanted to look for you as you just disappeared, but then Steve found me and wanted me to repair his car asap. But before we talk can you maybe help me with something? I need a second pair of hands” you rambled getting even more nervous when you saw the redhead only stare at your abs and arms.

She came closer and you showed her what she had to do before standing behind her to do your thing as you had to work on something that was close to where she had to work. Your warm body was pressed against hers, your arms around her and she could feel your breath on the side of her neck. When you finished what you were doing you wrapped your arms around her waist pressing yourself even further into her.

The redhead slowly turned in your arms until you were face to face causing both of your breaths to hitch. “Why do you have to be so cute?” You asked her which made her giggle. “Romanoff” you called out and she hummed. “I’m in love with you” you finally admired. It felt better than anything else, ever. You finally felt free, if she didn’t like you then you could at least move on and if she did like you then it was finally your time.

But the silence made you regret your choice. “I-I am sorry, shouldn’t have said that” you unwrapped your arms from around her and were about to turn when her hand grabbed your upper arm to pull you back. When you turned around you saw her gaze fixed on your arm mussel before she snapped out of it. “I’m sorry, I just had to realize what you just said. I’m in love with you too, love” grabbing her waist you pulled her into a hug.

“You know that I won’t stop flirting with you right?” You asked her that night when you sat on the couch cuddled up closely. “I hope so. But I will kill everyone who looks at you, you know that right?” She grinned and you nodded. “Of course I know”

So, I had a lot to do lately but I hope this is okay

[oluka]

Thoughts on Invincible Iron Man #8 and #9

When I read Invincible Iron Man #8, I couldn’t believe my eyes. A reference to Iron Man #182, in my Iron Man comics? More likely than I thought. The fact that the reference was tasteful and also showcased Duggan’s understanding of Tony’s character was the icing on the cake. To sum up the scene: Tony just got hurt very badly by two Stark Sentinels and is half conscious. He reaches out and asks Emma for help. She gets into his mindscape, which we discover is a snowy alley full with empty bottles and sad tags on the walls.

“No way out, safe, hope”. This is the melodrama I want to see in my Iron Man comics. I also loved that Emma didn’t dismiss Tony’s trauma: “It’s real, but it’s not what’s happening right now.” She helps him get out of this flashback/mindspace, and the fight goes on.

There’s this beautiful panel where Tony surrenders his suit to save Emma:

Look at it!! Look at the colours! Look at the lines! The motion!

Anyways. Tony manages to get Emma away from the fight, taunts Feilong to kill him. Then in issue #9, he refuses Steve’s help when he arrives (because he needs to be alone and he wants to protect his friends) and then he meets up with Emma in the sewers, runs back to his workshop to make her a ring to conceal her from Orchis, and comes back to her. He also bandages his own injuries.

He gets down to the sewers again, and gets into an argument with Emma about his and her actions (or lack thereof) against Orchis/Feilong. And then…

Tony has a panic attack. Which I think is the first time, ever, we see this happening explicitly in an Iron Man comic (I’m happy to be proved wrong). He has a panic attack because everything is going to hell and Rhodey is getting hurt in prison and Feilong is trying to kill Rhodey and Tony. Tony is hurting, physically and mentally, and Duggan does not shy away from showing that. I think that Frigeri made an excellent job in drawing Tony so angry and literally foaming at the mouth: he’s not doing well, his emotions are all over the place. He cries (!!) and asks for help, again. I’m really surprised that Tony asks for help twice in as many issues. Is it because he trusts Emma to calm his mind? Is it easier for him to ask her instead of his friends because it’s less personal? Or is he so desperate that there is no other way? I don’t know. Regardless, it’s interesting.

This time, Emma brings him to his happy place:

His happy place, his “idealistic self-image”, is him surrounded by the Iron Man armours. Emma’s comment about there being less unsavoury people and “tramps” than she’d expected pleased my vindicative heart. But more importantly: last issue, we got to see Tony’s worst mindscape, where he falls into when everything is going to hell and he’s dying. And it was him, alone, in the snow, surrounded by his biggest weakness and fear: alcoholism. In this issue, we see his happy place, which is essentially: Iron Man. What Tony loves most about himself is Iron Man, what he hates most is his alcoholism. AAAAAAAA. This is such quintessential Tony. It’s him. I think I haven’t seen such a good characterization in Iron Man comics in a decade. I still barely believe it.

The following panels set up Tony and Emma’s alliance for the upcoming comics. Judging from the solicits for IIM 12 and 13, they’re going to be a team for at least until those issues, and maybe further.

Emma’s ruthlessness and Tony’s genius can make for a deadly combo. They’re not playing around. I hope we will see them shine together. I can’t wait for them to give Feilong and Orchis what they deserve. Also, note the way they phrase their alliance: “To their deaths.” Add to that the way they are framed, both dressed sharply and facing each other like that, and my mind immediately made the connection to wedding vows: “Until death do us part”. Am I reading too much into it, or was this intentional from Duggan and Frigeri? Maybe future wil tell.

To end this long post, here are unrelated thoughts:

1. I love the current trend of Avengers actively helping Mutants fight against Orchis. We have Tony, of course, but also Steve who reformed the Uncanny Avengers to fight against Orchis; Thor just saved a mutant in Immortal Thor #1, we’ve had mentions of Vision, Reed and T’Challa helping on the information side… It’s great. Between AXE Judgment Day and Fall of X, it seems that Marvel writers/editorial have decided to stop pitting the X-men and Avengers against each other. Let’s hope it stays that way. Avengers help everyone, and it’s nice to finally see it even in x-men books. Also, it gives us awesome panels:

2. Tony is his own nemesis confirmed. Thank you, Duggan.

And that’s it! If you’ve read this far, consider telling me in comments or tags what you thought. I might start doing posts like this for every Iron Man comic week.

[amphibiousmercurial]

Missed the Party, Got the Blues

Of fading friendships, joy and parties

There's something sharply visceral about watching joy from the outskirts. This feeling of watching from the sidelines while also being part of the story makes everything feel even more confusing. It's a detached ache, being engulfed in your own storm while others bask in sunlight. I missed a big day, not out of neglect but because I was wrestling with shadows that tethered me to darker places. Places where laughter doesn’t reach, where smiles are strained and scarce.

I voiced my struggles, to explain my absence, but my words felt like throwing stones into the ocean-sunk before they could ripple the surface. Understanding was a nod, fleeting and shallow, not the anchor I needed. There I was, caught in the throes of a silent battle, while the friend stood in the spotlight of celebration, untouched by the gloom that clung to me like a second skin.

It’s not just about missing a party, it’s about how my silence was personified into lack of enthusiasm, how my battle was unseen amidst the firecrackers. I found myself apologizing for the heaviness I carried, for the darkness that wasn’t invited but came anyway. Each apology was a quiet concession, a whispered admission that perhaps my pain was too inconvenient to acknowledge amidst the happiness.

This isn’t about a failure to see, it’s about the collective ease with which joy ignores pain, how celebration can deafen us to the quiet despairs whispered in corners. It’s a deep realization of how loneliness can exist in the midst of companionship, how isolation can persist in the crowd.

Writing this, I’m not seeking asylum into my words; I’m laying bare the dissonance between shared joy and private suffering. I document these moments not to seek comfort but to articulate my reality of the emotional vortex.

This is my testament to the complexities of friendship, a narrative that doesn’t shy away from the uncomfortable truths of emotional disconnects. It’s a raw, unadorned map of the terrain where joy meets pain. This is not just reporting on life; it's an examination of the spaces between us, the quiet voids that go unfilled, the understanding that sometimes remains just out of reach.

In writing this, I find no neat closure, only the clarity of my own reflections, the acceptance of my role on the periphery of light. This piece is a mirror held up to the moments we often overlook, a call to acknowledge the whole spectrum of human emotion, even when it disrupts the narrative of joy.

“We was girls together,” she said as though explaining something. “O Lord, Sula,” she cried, “girl, girl, girlgirlgirl.”

-Sula, by Toni Morrison

Love.

[espinosaurusrexex]

Bucky keeps you company when everyone forgets your birthday (bonus scene)

a/n: after a comment from @royalwritersoftheuniverses, I felt like some parts could have been a little more embellished, so here we are

word count: ~600

warnings: Steve is kind of a red flag here (he means well, but he’s doing it wrong), very cute shy Bucky, fluff?

･ﾟ✫* 𝑚𝑎𝑖𝑛 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑡 | 𝑏𝑜𝑛𝑢𝑠 | 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑖 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡 ｡✭･ﾟ

**Bonus:

Bucky stood in the doorway with unsure eyes as he watched Steve struggle with a yellow balloon. He had been debating for a while whether to interrupt his friend or not, but the picture of you crying alone in the kitchen made his body feel all kinds of uncomfortable. He had to talk about it with someone. That’s why he was here. Steve was pretty much the only one at the compound - everyone else was out: on a small mission or sent by Steve to run some errands for the surprise. Not Bucky, though. He had gotten a free pass from his friend - much to Tony’s dismay - because (A) he didn’t know you very well and (B) he was still a little uncomfortable around crowds. Not that he wanted to talk to anyone else, anyway - so, Steve it was. 

“Steve?” Bucky’s voice was low, and he wondered if his friend would even hear him through the squeaking of the yellow rubber. 

“Hey, Bucky.” Steve spared him a quick glance, but his face snapped right back to the brunette in the doorway when he saw his face. “What’s wrong?”

He stopped fumbling but there were still some people rummaging through the room, setting up decorations “She... She thinks everyone forgot her birthday.” 

“She’ll handle it. She’s a big girl, Buck.” Steve smiled.

“Are you sure?” Bucky remembered your sad face again, the tear running down your cheek before you had caught it with your sleeve and it made his heart ache. He did not want to tell Steve you cried, though. It seemed like you hadn’t anticipated for anyone to see, so it wasn’t Bucky’s place. On top of that, Steve was putting so much effort into the surprise party he had planned for you, and Bucky didn’t want to upset him as well. But what was he supposed to do?

“Oh, yes. Did I tell you about the time she pulled three kids from a burning building with three broken ribs and a sprained ankle? That girl is tough as nails.” The squeaking resumed as Steve finally put a knot in the balloon and moved on to the next one.

Bucky was quietly standing, still, secretly scolding his friend for being the way he was. This was different - this was emotional. And Bucky knew because he could walk off a broken bone any day but he had yet to figure out how to not be scared of the things his mind made up. Steve couldn’t possibly understand that, but he couldn’t blame him for it either. He should be glad Steve didn’t know how it felt. 

“But she’s so sad...”

“Well...” Steve stood up and nudged the second ballon to the pile on the floor. “If you really think so, you could check on her, right? I would, but I have so much to do still...”

Bucky shifted from one foot to the other. He didn’t know how to do that. A little panic surged up his spine. “I... I don’t know if I can, Steve.” He didn’t even know you, how could he possibly bring you any comfort? Even if he wanted to - and he did, badly - he was scared.

Steve gave him an encouraging nod. “You got this Bucky... No- wait that doesn’t go there!” He yelled at one of the interns forced to help him, but before he fixed their mistake, he shot Bucky a quick smile. “I believe in you,” he rushed out, and then he resumed decorating. 

Bucky just nodded sadly before trudging back to his room. His head hung low as he closed the door behind him, trying hard not to get overwhelmed with nerves at the thought of what he needed - no - wanted to do.

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[tyrantonutx]

Looking for RP Partner(s)!

Hey, hi, how's it goin'?

I'm Tyrant, 30+ s/they, and this is a Take Two attempt at finding like-minded folx, so if you happen to see a similar looking post floating around (unlikely but possible), I am in fact one and the same Tyrant, I'm just too damn impatient to wait on tumblr to fix my original blog.

ANYWAY.

I'm hoping to find some partner(s) interested in Discord RP, because I am in fact a tumblr Baby (despite the original blog being...several years old...) and the formatting on tumblr rp blogs makes me Nervous.

I've been roleplaying in various capacities on forums, discord, and chat (throwback to AOL Instant Messenger amirite?) for approximately two decades and some change. I tend to write in a casual cadence as one might suspect, and I like to adapt my replies to the thread (anywhere from several sentences to a few paragraphs is my norm). I generally prefer CANON x CANON ships, at least starting out, to get a feel for how we come at characterization and plot together before we dip into OC territory. I'm involved in a few fandoms that may in fact be wastelands but, hey, you miss every shot you don't take, so here I am!

What follows is a list of fandos, characters, and ships I'm ACTIVELY looking for, the things that make my brain buzz in all the good ways. I'm down for hearing out any plots you might have in your lovely beating hearts (or shriveled little black ones, no judgment here!) or working out plots together based on all the good things that come from two rambling fans throwing head canons and "OK BUT WHAT IF"s at each other til something sticks.

If any of these strike you as fun, or if you just think I'm gosh darn neat and wanna chat me up for the thrills, please like this post, message me here on tumblr, or send me a friend request on discord (@tyrantonut)! I'm shy af and terrible at reaching out first, thank you hereditary anxiety and Burnt Out Gifted Kid syndrome, so sometimes I need that lil nudge.

...right! The fandoms! (Please note that while I have listed characters for me vs. for you, I'm actually pretty flexible on these! I just think I write some sides better than others.)

FANDOMS

The Boys (AU preferred)

Butchie -- Billy Butcher x Hughie Campbell

Stephen King's It (Muschietti AU preferred)

Reddie -- Richie Tozier x Eddie Kaspbrak

Stranger Things (Aged up AU preferred)

Byler -- Mike Wheeler x Will Byers

Harringrove -- Billy Hargrove x Steve Harrington

Steddie -- Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Hannibal (NBC)

Hannigram -- Hannibal Lecter x Will Graham

Marvel Universe (Comics & Movieverse)

Spideypool -- Wade Wilson x Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield)

Spiderprowl -- Aaron Davis x Peter B. Parker

Mysterio/Spiderman -- Quentin Beck x Peter Parker (Tom Holland, preferably aged up)

Starkmonger -- Tony Stark/Erik Killmonger

Hazbin Hotel / Helluva Boss Universe

Huskerdust -- Angel Dust x Husk (Overlord Husk AU has given me brain rot)

Chaggie -- Charlie Magne x Vaggie

RadioApple -- Alastor x Lucifer

Stolitz -- Blitzo x Stolas

Fizzarozzie -- Fizzarolli x Asmodeus

Glee

Puckurt -- Noah 'Puck' Puckerman x Kurt Hummel

[iambic-stan]

Trains

Feeling reluctant but excited, I present the fourth installment of my stories about these three queer folks who are living rent-free in my cardiophilia-addled brain haha. And here's a sorta related gif.

I talked myself into waiting months for this because I'd read the room.  I'd waited decades already--what was a few more months?  When I was younger I dreamed of finding someone who could relate to everything I felt.  None of the fantasies I composed in my head involved my girlfriend's best friend--or someone over a decade my junior, at that.  But being queer in the Deep South is very much about finding and making your own family, and that family might not look like what you'd initially envisioned.  Even though learning we were both cardiophiles made Elena perk up tremendously, once we got past the dozens of conversations about stethoscope brands and what I once thought would be a bottomless well of those childhood stories that screamed "oh I'm different" like feeling uncomfortable during the Pledge of Allegiance at school and finding oneself surreptitiously watching a teacher's neck pulse during a lecture, she mostly went back to being the Elena I'd known before.  She was quiet, shy, awkward, and afraid to take up space, unless I could get her drunk and see her babbling, playful side.  I knew it was always there because Tori had seen plenty of it, even during sober moments, so I realized I had work to do.  She needed to feel comfortable, to be assured that she was never imposing.  What I needed was patience because every time she took me and Tori on a hike, I took us to the skating rink, or we all danced the night away to someone crooning "Mr. Brightside" at karaoke, the feeling of my own heart pounding compelled me to look in her direction and wonder if hers was, too. 

One late night, the three of us stood mesmerized in a cramped bar as a queen decked out in a lot of green, red, and yellow latex with a fire engine wig flipped, death-dropped, and duck-walked her way through a club remix of Chappell Roan's "Hot to Go,"--the unofficial song of the summer.  By a lesbian, no less.  

"What's her name again?" Tori yelled over the loud music.

"Toni Sasseries," Elena yelled back.

Tori beamed, "I love her so much!"  She pulled a $5 bill out of her fuzzy pink wallet and skipped her way to the front of the crowd.  Elena and I watched as she reached up to the stage, holding the bill and smiling like a small child on a merry-go-round.  Her enthusiasm was rewarded by Miss Sasseries, who leaned over the edge of the stage, grabbed Tori's hand, kissed her cheek and took her bill all in one motion.  This excited Tori even further and we thought she might burst as then practically leapt her way back to us like some kind of human pogostick.  Elena beamed and gave Tori a quick hug. One thing that I noticed transformed Elena was a good drag show, even more so if booze was available.  Luckily, a live and in-person drag show was something we could all agree on.  Local drag was my thing, though I'd tried to watch Rupaul's Drag Race as a way to connect with Elena, who was only two or three steps away from being a "superfan."  But the scripted, contrived nature of the reality show, coupled with some lazy storytelling, made it a hard sell for me.  The queens couldn't seem to make it through an episode without engaging in a petty but trumped up squabble, more venom than tongue-in-cheek shade escaping their lips.  I always had to resist the urge to yell at the TV, "It doesn't fucking matter!  The conservatives want us all dead anyway!"  After a while I just stuck to YouTube highlights of the best lip syncs, Snatch Games, runways, and various acting challenges instead.  Better than paying for a subscription service anyway.  That way I could more or less keep up but keep my blood pressure down.

"She's like a prettier, greener Tina Burner," Elena observed, nodding in the direction of Toni Sasseries.

"Uh-huh," I nodded, thinking I might have to Google that one to jog my memory.

My kink, though I wouldn't call it that because it's far more, was seeing these ladies, gentlemen, enbies--you name it--in person.  I love beautiful gowns but I love crustiness equally.  And in a poor state, you get more of the latter than the opulence.  I wanted to be so close I could see the person behind the drag for myself.  I wanted to breathe the same air, maybe get a chance to chat after the show.  I wanted to witness all the physical flaws, the hardness made soft and vice versa, and the voices that didn't quite match the faces (and yet they did, somehow). I appreciated queer art that my usual no-nonsense t-shirt-and-wind-pant, no-makeup-wearing self could never create. When their necklines were low (or even if they weren't) I dreamed about bringing a stethoscope to the bar to listen to their hearts, especially following a strenuous dance number.  Back in college, there was one I knew well enough to ask--an older king named Beau Bridge who went on smoke breaks alone on the patio after the show.  He was a retired stage manager for the local community theater, hilariously irreverent show host, and avid reader of sci-fi authors I didn't learn about in school like Octavia Butler and Neal Stephenson. I don't know why I trusted him more than most people I met, but my instincts were correct.  One night I was carrying on to him about a bad breakup and he was imparting all sorts of wisdom as a 65-year-old domestically-partnered (same-sex marriage was illegal at the time) lesbian when I realized (with the assistance of a Long Island) that I might be bold enough.  He was amenable and two weeks later, I was back with a burgundy Littmann Master Cardiology. Other patrons looked on curiously when I pulled it out of my backpack.  I thought my own heart would burst as he unbuttoned a few buttons on his shirt, pulled his binder down to his stomach, turned to me so I could access the space between his breasts, and smiled mischievously.  Cigarette smoke wafted past while I listened and I hated the smell as well as knowing it was the reason his heart was racing, but it was so beautiful it took my breath away.  At intervals, I allowed myself to imagine it was beating so fast because I was listening, even though I knew better.  I probably sat there and listened for twenty minutes while his heart rate rose and fell and I caught a few PVCs here and there.  I felt like I'd learned something new about the woman behind this older king, hearing her heartbeat while he smiled at me.  There was a certainty--a steadfast rhythm in my mind, at least when I compared it to my own.  I couldn't really tell you how, but it made me confident of something I'd doubted for all of my youth.  I didn't think I'd ever be able to tell him, or the woman behind him, what a watershed moment it was for me.

When I was finished, he chuckled softly and said, "Ok, kiddo, you know all my secrets now?" 

I immediately blushed, then fixed my face into a small smile and said, "I just might."

That moment was what I remembered most from that night, though the public auscultation drew attention from other bar patrons, who wanted to borrow my stethoscope and listen to each other.  "What did you bring this for?" one person asked, while another exclaimed, "This is actually kinda cool," as they passed it to a friend and asked to be listened to.  For a fleeting moment, I was almost popular.  I did some more listening myself, but no one's heart compared to Beau's in my mind, really.  I think I was a bit infatuated with him and a little in need of some parental guidance at the same time.  I hadn't had the guts to tell anyone in my life about all of my conflicting feelings about my gender.

I never got a chance to tell Beau I'd come out as nonbinary my junior year, though, because he and his wife moved to her hometown in Maine after she retired from one of the local colleges.  I sometimes wonder if deep down, he knew.  I never even got to see him out of drag.  I knew his real first name was Thelma.  There was so much more I wanted at that point--for him to listen to my own pounding heart, to be able to hear his (well, hers) again--but there was no time and I had to tell myself it was enough.  Besides, he understood it, yet didn't.  It was a novelty to him, and something he did because he cared for me.  Not unlike Tori, just, well, minus the sex and romance.  But he was a huge part of why drag would always be something special to me. 

"Gawwwd what have you done?!?  You're a pink pony girl, and you dance at the club oh...by the way," Tori spoke-sang mid-song, "did you see where Elena went?"  I had not.

I found myself staring at her chest and the words registered slowly, as they sometimes do when you're wasted.  I rested my hand there and I could feel the vibration beneath it.  Indescribable.

"Are you feeling me up in public?" she asked coyly.

I was not, but it didn't sound like a bad idea in my inebriated state.  I laughed and shook my head, then saw the recognition in her eyes.  "Is it fast?" she asked sweetly.

"It kind of is.  Really nice," I told her.

"Ok, you," she laughed, rolling her eyes playfully.  "I'll grab more booze. You will go outside and see if Elena's ok, because I'm pretty sure she's on the patio.  You know how it goes."

"Me?" I asked, feeling like a man in a cheesy romantic comedy who fucked up and was stuck holding a purse for hours in a shopping mall or changing an infant's dirty diaper.  It wasn't how I meant for it to come out; it was just that it was always Tori.  She was Elena's friend first; she understood her getting overstimulated--or at least tried to.  "Ok I didn't mean for it to sound quite like that," I confessed.

Elena could be found just where Tori had suspected.  She seemed to be staring at nothing and I couldn't determine what state of mind she was in at first. 

"Konnor, hey!" she smiled. 

"We're missing you....aaaaaaaahhhh!" I yelped, jumping backward quicker than I'd approached.  "What the hell is that demonic-looking thing?!?"  A large bow-legged bug that seemed to have massive biceps and dead eyes sat on the railing right beside her, and she was petting it.

She turned to me and smiled, her eyes betraying this child-like happiness that seemed wrong for the circumstances.  "It's a giant water bug! I'm not handling it because their bite is painful, but I love my hemipterans.  They call them 'toe-biters', too."

"I'm sure they do," I said, deadpan.  We watched as the creature half flew, half leapt into a puddle of rainwater in the parking lot, wings momentarily illuminated by streetlights.  Good riddance.

I turned my attention back to Elena.  "So you're ok?"  I closed more of the space between us since it now meant I wouldn't have a miniature beast in my periphery.

"Oh yeah--I was going to come right back but then I was all oooooh lethocerus americanus, haha!  By the way, I talked to Toni.  For the first time, actually.  Usually I'm just admiring her from afar and liking everything she posts on IG and Tiktok.  But she was out here and an actual conversation took place, more or less.  She's doing a gig in New Orleans next month.  At this uptown brunch spot.  Maybe we could make it a day trip.  I'd be happy to drive.  Or if we all wanted to get tipsy, do some more exploring, or whatever, we could get a hotel suite or something.  So y'all have your own room."

She stopped abruptly and looked at me, somewhere between excited and panic-stricken, like she didn't mean to say everything out loud.  A few seconds passed, then she added, "I mean if y'all want--"

"Yes!  That would be so much fun!  Of course we need to make sure it works with all of our schedules, but if so, I'm 200% in."

"I hope so.  I haven't been to New Orleans in forever."

"Same," I agreed.

"Well I'm good for round 2 of the show if you are.  I had my little break," she smiled and started for the door.

"Um, wait," I faltered, suddenly thinking I needed to say it just then.  Of course at that instant, a train rushed down the tracks yards away, whistle blaring.  It was so loud, though I swore the pounding in my chest was louder.  What timing. I felt my face redden.  A ridiculous overreaction, I thought.  Neither of us even glanced at the train--we were so accustomed to conversations being interrupted by them in this part of the city.

Elena let out a chuckle and sat down on a bench.  I sat down beside her, glancing at the familiar stethoscope necklace she matched with her Sailor Moon skater dress.  For a few seconds, I stared at it and watched her breathe, marveling at the notion that the typically-anxious one of us was calmer.

"Can I listen to your heart sometime?"  There.  It was out there, hovering in humid, swampy air.  But not for long.

Her arms were around my shoulders before I realized it.  "I really want to listen to yours, too," I heard her say over my shoulder.  She pulled back and looked right at me, then shifted her eyes down to the ground.  "Also would want to use my new teaching stethoscope with you.  You know, so we could both listen to each other at once?"

"That, certainly," I said. "Wait, are you crying?"

"Oh, uh no--see how it's kind of misting out here?  Rain was in the forecast for this evening," she assured me.

"Right," I said with a knowing smile.

[crazyunsexycool]

My little love

Thanksgiving Day

Bucky Barnes x reader

Warning: fluffiness!!

Word count: 1.1k

A/N: here’s a little Drabble for our favorite family. I wasn’t so happy with how it ended but I’ve only slept for 6 hours in the last 48👍🏻🥺😴

Series masterlist

Henry had his hair pulled back and his apron on. Big beautiful blue eyes followed your every movement. From his place on the step stool he helped you work. You needed to get back to your normal routine and what was more normal than cooking with Henry?

With a smile on his face he does as you ask. Music plays softly from a speaker and you ask him what he was up to while you were gone. It’s a sweet back and forth as you both move around the kitchen. Henry’s found a love for cooking and you’re more than happy to encourage him. Sometimes Lottie helps but she makes more of a mess than anything. Those days were fun too but Henry was taking this very seriously. You watched as he focused on the task in front of him. Furrowed brows and his tongue poking out as he made sure his job was done perfectly.

“Is this good mama?” He looks up at you.

“It’s perfect. Now we have to get everything in the pot.”

You spend the rest of the morning working on a few different dishes. Lottie and Bucky walk in every so often, mostly to be taste testers. When it gets closer to dinner time everyone gets ready to head to the shared dining room.

****

You were grateful that Sophia had bought the kids an outfit for thanksgiving dinner. There were so many things going on that it was the last thing on your mind but it was their first major holiday and they deserved something special. Lottie wore a shirt and skirt combo with her hair half up and a bow to finish off the look. While Henry left his hair down, his outfit was a t-shirt and jeans. You and Bucky went with sweaters and jeans, something simple but comfortable.

It was good that Tony decided that this year would be family only. Your dad was in the living room watching football with Sophia, Steve, Tony, Joshua and Clint. Bucky joined them after dropping off some of the dishes you’d made. Sam, Sarah, Laura, Pepper, Molly, Luke and now you were going back and forth in the kitchen while the kids ran off to play.

Once everything was ready everyone gathered at the table, even the kids. Everybody got a chance to say what they were grateful for and Henry was next. He kneeled on his chair so that he could be seen.

“I-um,” he looked over at you and Bucky, the nerves getting the better of him. “I’m thankful that you’re my family.”

Some awed at his words.

“I’m thankful that you found me and I don’t have to be with the bad men anymore.” He looks over at Lottie before his eyes settle on you and Bucky. “And I’m thankful for having baby back and that you’re my daddy and my mama.”

Henry gets off his chair and stands between you and Bucky so that he can hug you both. Then he gives Lottie a kiss on the cheek and settles back down on his chair.

Lottie, having picked up what everyone was saying, stands up on her chair. She gets shy for a moment but with some encouragement she speaks up.

“Am tankful fo’ bubba.” She says first and then she lists all of her aunts and uncles and gwandpa, “an am tankful fo’ Steebie.” She gives him a big smile before turning to you. “Am tankful fo’ habing mama home. An habing dada, I lobe dada.” She gets a bit tearful at the end and she reaches for you and then Bucky.

By this point you’re wrecked emotionally but you speak anyway.

“Well,” you clear your throat. “I’m very thankful that I have you all in my life. I’m grateful for being here today, which wouldn’t have been possible without all of you. Most importantly I’m so thankful for you.” You turn to look at Bucky. “Bucky, you make me so happy and I love you so much. I’m so thankful for Henry and Charlotte. I’m so happy to be your mama.” You turn to them to find them both teary eyed. “You two are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Everyone turns to look at Bucky and he rolls his eyes. You chuckle and elbow him lightly.

“Fine.” He huffs before smiling. “Everything Y/N said.”

Sam throws a bread roll at Bucky which causes everyone to laugh while Sam boos.

“Say something.”

“I’m grateful for everyone except Sam.”

Again everyone laughs.

“But really, I am thankful for all of you. You helped me and the kids during one of the hardest times for us.” Bucky turns and takes your hand. “I’m thankful to have you in my life. I love you so much and you are the best mother to our kids. After being freed I never thought I’d find someone that could love me or want to have children with me and here you are proving me wrong. I’m so lucky to be a father to two of the sweetest kids I’ve ever met.” Bucky leans forward and winks at Lottie and Henry. “I love you two so much. Finally I’m thankful for Ed. You’re a great man, I wouldn’t have made it through the last three months without you.”

“Now that’s a speech.”

“Hey pops, why don’t you carve the turkey?” Tony says as he hands the knife over to Eddie.

“Everyone pay attention. I’m gonna show you how it’s done.”

Dinner was great. Everyone laughed and talked amongst themselves. Henry was praised for the food he helped cook. You could tell how proud he was and you’d told him as much.

After dinner and the clean up everyone moved to the shared living room. There was some dancing, games were played and tipsy karaoke happened. During most of this you and Bucky had taken the love seat. Bucky had one leg stretched out on the couch allowing you to sit with your back resting against his chest. His arms kept you safe and close as your hands intertwined with his. Bucky would press kisses every so often against your temple or he’d comment on whatever was happening. Both of you happily watched the others joke around or sang along. The kids couldn’t contain their happiness as they kept running up to the two of you and expressing how much fun they were having.

Later when the kids were in bed, falling asleep easily from all of their excitement over their first thanksgiving and you were in Bucky’s arms, you couldn’t help but think back at what you survived. It was over and you were back home in the arms of the man you loved and your sweet little ones.

There were so many more firsts the kids would be experiencing and you were thankful that you’d get to be there with them.

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[lulubelle814]

Prank Your Way In

Masterlist

It's never dull being with the God of Mischief. Dani found him intimidating at first, but Loki was smitten from the first moment he saw her, wanting to get to know this magnificent creature. Any time he attempted to approach her, she would scamper away, frustrating him to no end. 

After a few failed attempts, he thought about giving up, but Thor would have none of it.  He had noticed his brother's attempts and wanted him to be happy, at least have a friend, if not more. 

"Don't worry, little brother. She's shy with almost everyone, mostly men. I do not know the exact reason why.  Might I suggest talking to Lady Natasha? She and Dani have become good friends. "

"I do not know what you are referring to brother.  I was merely attempting to discover if she was worthy of conversation. Apparently she is not."

Rather than allow his older brother to attempt more advice, Loki departed for the training room to blow off some steam from being caught out on his attempts to connect with Dani.

Conjuring up a few dummies, he practiced his knife throwing, not that he wasn't amazing at it already.  When he grew tired of that, he took a page out of Roger's book and battled with a punching bag, using his magic to make it strong enough for an asgardian, or jotun in his case. 

"She's not afraid of you if that's what you're thinking. Well, not your past anyways. "

Loki continued to punch the bag. "I do not know what you mean. 

Natasha stayed in the doorway.  "We've all seen you try to talk to her. It's ok. The problem isn't you specifically."

"Then, pray tell, what is the problem?" He continued on with the bag. 

"She has severe trust issues with men. It's not my place to talk about it, but it takes a very long time for her to be comfortable being around men, much less talk to them. That's why she's always so quiet. She barely talks to Tony, and he's the one who rescued her. Don't beat yourself up about it."

Loki gave up with the pouncing bag and finally turned to face Nat.  "It's not hard to deduce that she would naturally be afraid of me simply due to what I did a few years ago here in New York. "

"To be honest, when we found out you were coming here, it's the only time I've seen her speak up in front of everyone. She told them that you deserve a second chance and even she could tell from various footage that you were not yourself. The way she said it was that it was like someone locked a mask on you. I don't know how she knew, but she did.  It's why Stark said yes to you staying with us."

That made his heart tingle.  Maybe there was hope. He was grateful to being out of the dungeons in Asgard. Spending about 5 years there in mostly solitude was not what he would call a good time. 

"I…..uh…..I would like to thank her if I could.  If you would pass it on to her, I would most appreciate it. I would like to talk to her myself,  but she seems to run when I try to approach her. So do you have any recommendations?"

Nat thought for a moment. "She loves a good prank. Not on her, but watching them. I know that's right up your alley.  Just don't pull any on me, and we'll call it even."

"Thank you, Lady Natasha. I am most grateful for your suggestion."

Nat nodded and turned to leave. "I'm doing this for her, not you. If you hurt her in any way, I will come after you. "

"I would expect nothing less. "

It started out small. When he knew Dani was looking, he threw out a small spell to change Thor's hair hot pink. She giggled, and her laugh was music to Loki’s ears. Thor didn't car.  He was used to his brother's pranks, but he was glad to see Dani laughing and would happily be the brunt of Loki’s jokes to brighten her day. 

A couple of days later, Stark came to the kitchen a little too quiet, and a little too green.  When he spotted Loki, he started to launch into a tirade until he heard Dani laughing, something he had never heard before. 

He and Loki looked to Dani and then back to each other. "Watch it, reindeer games."  Loki looked the perfect picture of sheer innocence paired with pouty lips and doe eyes causing Dani to laugh even harder.

Later that day, he contemplated what prank to pull on Bruce but decided against it. He had no desire to have another encounter with the Hulk, even by accident. 

The next day, every time Clint spoke, he would cluck like a chicken, but only for an hour or so. Everyone got a good laugh out of that, but it was her laugh that he cherished.

That evening, he was reading his book in the library and contemplating his next prank. Oh how much he wanted to hear Dani laugh some more. Next thing he knew, he was screaming at the top of his lungs, Dani laughing harder than ever. She managed to sneak up on him and blast an air horn in his left ear. 

When he finally caught his breath and regained his wits, he saw how much Dani was laughing, noting the ear plugs she had donned to protect herself. 

"I cannot recall the last time someone successfully snuck up on me for a prank like that. I must commend you. "

Still laughing, she spoke to him for the first time. "That was so much fun. "

Her voice was the most beautiful melody he'd ever heard and craved to speak with her more. 

"If you would like, perhaps we could team up on pranks? I'm sure You have many great ideas we could accomplish together. "

From that evening, they became thick as thieves. They glued Banner's door shut. Loki agreed to that as Bruce would likely just call Tony for help. 

Loki enchanted Thor's hair and cape to change colors every hour for 24 hours. Of course the colors were matching, and Thor's cape stayed attached to him whether he liked it or not. 

Dani wanted to prank Natasha, but Loki had made a promise. So without interfering, Dani placed bubble wrap under Nat's bath mat when she was out running errands.

Of course, when Nat went to take a shower later, she saw what Dani set up but played along anyways. It was worth it when she heard Dani's laughter from the hallway.

Finally, Loki was in the common room.  Dani was passing through as Dani came in, going to sit on the other side of the couch. 

From the kitchen, Tony started yelling as mounds of soap bubbles spread everywhere out of the dishwasher. Both Loki and Dani laughed hard at that. She laughed so hard that she didn't notice she ended up next to Loki, her face buried in his arm while they continued to laugh together. This, however, did not pass by Loki. It was a sign that maybe she was becoming more comfortable around him.

"That was a good one, darling. "

She looked up at him confused. "I thought that was you? "

"Definitely not me. "

They noticed Nat nearby, observing. "What? I wanted in on the pranks. "  She smirked as she sauntered away. 

As their laughter died down, Dani realized she was comfortable with Loki and didn't move. He took notice and was going to enjoy this as long as he could.

After a couple minutes, he spoke up. 

"This has been so much fun.  You are quite the prankster."

"As are you mister God of Mischief. "

He smiled. "Lady Natasha advised me you are the reason I was allowed to come stay in the tower, and I wanted to say thank you.   I know I'm a monster but…"

She looked up at him, putting a hand over his mouth. "You deserve it. I've known monsters,  real monsters.  Monsters are those that are of their own mind and still choose to abuse people.   I could tell by your eyes that you weren't yourself. I'm glad you are now. "

Loki was surprised at her statement. Whomever hurt her would pay, but he would not force the story from her until she was ready. "That truly means a great deal. I believe they can this the beginning of a beautiful friendship if I remember the line correctly? "

Dani beamed.  She loved Casablanca, and somehow he found out about it, watching it late one night. 

"You would be correct sir. "

And it was the beginning, not just of a friendship but two kindred spirits bonding, discovering something more and developing into true love. After that day, they could always be found together.