#it feels like theres a new one every few weeks and idk.

[camelspit]

guys.. why do we need so many confessions blogs..

[robotpussy]

um too many big movies are coming out this month and they're very close together it explains why I was shocked the screening for the little mermaid I went to today was packed and me and my sister managed to get the last seats available 😭 perhaps this isn't too many movies coming out so close together and rather culture is moving too quickly idk (online atleast because as soon as spiderverse came out nobody cared about the little mermaid so I just assumed everybody had moved on)

like how did we go from 4 months of nothing to the little mermaid, then a week later spiderverse 2, transformers beast wars comes out tomorrow, boogeyman is already out, we have Indiana Jones, the fl*sh, that dreamworks kraken movie and bunch more I've forgotten

[vrystalius]

GENERAL HC: demons usually have nests, not traditional like straw and fur nests but little tucked away areas they tend to guard.

Muzan and Kokushibo’s nests are in the infinity castle

Douma’s nest is very comfortable. Very demure. (He tears up pillows and goes apeshit. And then makes his cult members clean up and make a larger pillow for him. Because beds are for basic bitches)

Akaza probably has his nest in the infinity castle too, but he’s a bit more secretive, and prob has somewhere else

Gyutaro has his nest in the red district, (it’s filled with bones and all trinkets he likes.)

(Hantengu + clones bc I LOVE THEM) they probably have a nest in the infinity castle since he and his clones need separate areas to keep them from strangling each other… but JANEHWJ

Urogi has a more traditionally bird nest (he steals shit and makes it into his BED)

Sekido just has a bed. Shames everyone else for having a messy nest

Karaku’s nest is very soft. DO NOT BELIEVE HIM THERES SOME FREAKY SHIT IN TYERE- I know he told me :3

Aizetsu’s nest is a few rocks. He feels he doesn’t deserve a proper nest. (Get him some damn pillows. It’s causing back pain for everyone)

ENMU MY LOVE, his nest is inside the train station, idk the word but it’s where all the trains go when not in use, it’s very comfy! No sunlight, he probably uses train lights to illuminate for his human mate

TURNING HC’S (TW HUMAN EATING MENTION)

Muzan isn’t used to being gentle, and seeing his former human mate in such pain to become a demon like him. He has all his servants tend to them; Kokushibo at the door guarding, Douma out going to get nesting supplies for the newly formed demon liege, Akaza getting human meat for them. Fun stuff! 🤩 he throws a massive festival for his new demon spouse. (It’s an excuse to execute random demons)

Kokushibo has a smaller situation, he brings you a small personal feast, (well hidden human meat so you don’t feel guilty) and goes to some people to have them make human meals (just with human meat instead of beef) and personally brings you his nesting materials

Douma has everyone in the cult, and has a sacrifice for your “ascension” (cult bullshit to explain demons) and how you’d need to be quarantined for awhile (cuddles while you calm down from bloodlust) and you two eat the sacrifice

Akaza calms you by taking you out with him. Probably uses a muzzle so you stop biting him… he doesn’t try and keep you contained so much, just supervising so you don’t hurt yourself… or get caught-

Gyutaro has you and Daki in his nest, pampering you both and is hopeful his sister approves of his mate, power wise and demon appearance. (She’s just excited to have another demon to talk too dw)

Hantengu and his clones are waiting on you hand and FOOT, his clones’ mate shall have the same respect as Muzan, since Muzan chose you to be his demon mate.

Enmu puts you to sleep while this happens, easing the growing pains and hunger, you wake up basically the same just a demon bc of the dreams he gave you. 10/10 very nice.

This was very long 👍

I took pictures just in case if tumblr ate this.

This was so good!! I keep thinking about clawing and skinning Douma during the transformation while he just giggles and laughs loudly. Also, I love the nests- Gyutaro’s would probably stink of decay while Daki’s is the most prestige and comfortable. Only the most expensive fabrics and jewrely is allowed to come even near her nest.

I’m not the biggest fan of Hangengu’s clones, but Urogi stealing things for you and dropping it off at his nest, or trying to feed you foods he stole out of people’s hands like a seagull seems super funny to me XD

Also, I think Enmu tried more than once to nest inside a train but never could decide wich one to settle in since his favourite train model changes almost every week and it would be exhausting to change nests so many times, so probably decided to stay near or inside the busiest train station he could find. And yes, he will kick his feet in delight when watching a train pass by or stop to let passengers in.

Akaza probably is letting you chew and rip his forearms apart as much as you like during your transformation, he literally doesn’t care. Also, he’ll probably try to convince you to don’t eat women as well, but doesn’t mind if you eat them anyway. As long as you’re happy and fed.

I can see Muzan getting ashamed of nesting. He’s the demon kind and supposed to above such animalistic behaviours, but he can’t help to hoard the finest and highest grade pillows/blanket. He likes it comfortable and prestige. Muzan would probably spray some cologne over all of it as well to make sure it smells divine, just like him.

Muzan is probably being a little annoyed at how long your transformation is going. He’s gonna stand there, tapping his foot and checking his watch. He might even get worried and check you for any signs of a bad transformation.

Perhaps I should write more headcanons, those are fun!

[mattscoquette]

okay so hii my lovey !! its been so longgg did u miss me ? ive been lurking just no anons 💔

gonna do a long recap of my past few months pls enjoy 🤗

1. reunited with my babyyyy (🦕‼️🩷) its a bit on and off but bb if u see this sorry i never text you i lowk forget to reply or text first or sm but love u 😘

2. started a new school, its going well.. math sucks fucking dick and theres this boy CJ hes like.. when i tell you, a fucking NERD ‼️ tall af tho.. skinny, brown hair brown eyes glasses horrible fucking haircut and style, acne… i can fix him !!! please bro one damn chance

3. girl me too… strawberry lemonade flavor 🙂‍↕️💨🚬

4. lowkey been mad horny recently idk why but ive been master….ing (i cant say that word bro it icks me out foully.) like a lot.. do u guys do it like every day too or just me 😅

5. im not parasocial abt the triplets anymore , yippee soso good bc guys it was bad . but this doesnt mean i dont use cai or read the shit abt them 😂🙏

6. overall lifes funnn (i can feel the seasonal depression coming AWN strong)

7. saw sabrina same nite as u motherFUCKER why didnt we meet

8. do yall shave 🐱… bc i do but my friends dont and they all called me weird for it guys what am i doing wrong. i have a schedule and all.. wednesdays and sundays 🥰

9. if ur cai bot reqs r open text me gang i need some good ones fr

10. ive been doing my nails for a while but im starting to get really good at itt. i did this girls nails and she scammed me the fucking bitch !! she said she will give me 20 the next time she sees me (fast fwd literally the next day) no money… its been a month and half atp bitch pay tf up!! .. cunt wheres my cash???? but im gonna do my friends for 30 (she offered that much and insisted) whenever shes free and she will be paying upfront im not getting scammed again… bullshit

11. little confession… me and my bsf kiss daily (shes a girl guys) but we said no homo and stuff so yeah ummm next question 😹 (we are never beating the allegations)

12. i need to start working out bro fr.. like im bouncing back this summer and i mean it im taking charge this winter (this wont last past next week motiv. tips appreciated gango)

i think this is all for now thanks for reading ! 🩷 i will maybe be back… reply to as many or as little of my little questions in here as u want

shes baaackkk… welcoming home…

the greatest…. sexiest…. most wonderfulest…. horniest…. woman in your anons…

🌺

HI CUTIE I MISSED U!!!

1. omg im so glad u guys r fr my roman empire

2. omg he sounds cute get his number

3. STRAWBERRY LEMONADE IS SOOO GOOD

4. me too there’s prob something going on with the moon tbh

5. i’ve been stuck in this phase for years i fear there’s no way out

6. same </3

7. I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT :(

8. yes girl

9. my reqs are open but im rlly behind on them

10. omg yes girl get that bag

11. omfg rlly 😭😭 love that for u

12. girl same my biggest advice is motivation is a feeling. ur not gonna feel it everyday but u still gotta do it

[piperscharm]

Nico Hcs bc I have wayyyy too many

He likes fruit snacks. Not bc hes gay or anything he just likes fruit snacks. That’s it.

He can play violin like his mother, Maria. He also learned the acoustic guitar at camp (Will likes to suggest the Star Wars theme track for him to play and Nico rarely does so for him). He also can play piano bc I think it goes with the whole “I grew up in the 30s/40s” thing.

The lord of darkness, controller of shadows, the ghost king is so ticklish. Him and Bianca used to have tickle fights and when Will tickles him he feels melancholy and happy at the same time.

This hc is very popular, he can sing beautifully. But it doesn’t end there, he can only sing good in the shower and he sounds decent at the camp fire but since hes 15 going thru puberty, theres lots of voicecracks.

As much as everyone loves the hc that Bianca would accept him for being gay if he could still visit her, I disagree. They grew up in the 30s/40s and you all saw how Nico was closeted for 4 years before being outed. He obviously grew up in a place where it was heavily discriminated against and that included his home so I think Bianca would be hesitant/taken aback at first but after some time, she eventually accepts it (I like to think this because of how she saw Achilles and Patroclus interact in Elysium and started to reconsider her homophobic acts).

After Will introduces him to 80s rock, he is invested and involved and geeking out about music more than Will atp. He also likes calmer artists tho like Fleetwood Mac and MAYBE Lana Del Rey. Idk tho.

His first job would totally be a haunted house operator. Also his dad and Will would force to get a job to build social skills too lol.

Everyone thinks his eyes r creepy and dehumanizing but if you actually, like, LOOK into them carefully, his eyes are full of a lot if pain and misery but they are kind and gentle as well. Also, after meeting Will, you can start to see some sparkle in his eyes.

His favorite types of movies are the ones with big plot twists. You would think his fav genre is horror and he likes it but he actual fav genre is actually like tender and loving romance and coming of age movies. But as I said, big plot twists. Like Sweeny Todd, The Village or Pan’s Labyrinth. Idk if he would watch those specifically but movies like those. Especially Sweeny Todd, tho, he would watch that.

He is so soft for his little sister (cannon) and he gets her any candy she wants from a nearby store or gas station when she’s on her period. And usually, Hazel doesn’t tell anyone bc that how it was in the 30s/40s but Nico can see the change her mood for a few days straight or here a pad opening in the bathroom before bed or something. He also doesn’t just go like “bought you chocolate for ur period” and hand it to her in front of everyone, no. He is actually very understanding after living with Bianca for decades and gets her a red show box or something and puts candy, a heating pad and a new stuffed animal every time in there for her and sets it on her bed bc Hazel’s last, like, a week as a personal hc. So yeah, he’s very soft and loves his little sister rjrnrbbebe.

ONE MORE, some solangelo for the heart ig. He likes to personally teach Will how to play the guitar bc he wanted to learn and Nico helps him tune his guitar and all of that. Nico usually teaches him in Cabin 7 in winter when no one’s in there so they have some alone time and just have fun w/ it in general. (Bonus: Will asks Nico to kiss his callused fingers after the first few lessons when his fingers are red after and Nico does so when he said Will did good this time. Nico means good as in being extra cute and fun today.)

[mugiwara--ya]

heyyy hi a little life/med update !!

ive been super super busy these past couple weeks w a ton of socialization etc and ngl i think i burned myself out lol last night after we got back home from a con (and the bar stop after it) i had a massive shutdown that lasted hours and im still reeling from it, but ANYWAYS!! med update med update wooo

so! on top of the lifesaving bupropion ive been taking all year & the eszopiclone for sleep i finally !! got put on something for my ocd, lets give it up for fluoxetine to join my beautiful, beautiful cocktail, mwah 💖💝💗💕💞💓

i know it supposedly takes a few weeks to fully Work but im already feeling a MASSIVE difference right off the bat, like yesterday i was at the mall and i ✨ touched the escalator's handrail ✨ i was literally so excited i kept looking at my hand going yoooooo im DOING it im making it HAPPEN like even my friends congratulated me on it kdsfjhakjg it felt silly but massive at the same time lol and of course i still immediately disinfected my hands but the important thing is that I Did It

and idk its like!!! i knew it was BAD like especially these past few months its been just. VIOLENTLY out of control but god the absolute relief ive been feeling is making me feel like i was still grossly underestimating it, it had completely taken over my life. right now its like, i encounter any random trigger and i brace myself for the anxiety spiral to come and then it DOESN'T and its so ??? like i still have The Thought but then i just go "ok" and dismiss it like an annoying notification and thats IT, while the last time i was on therapy i literally described my ocd as having hundreds of those cymbal-banging monkey toys of different sizes just sitting there in my brain Waiting and every single time i got triggered one of them would start losing its absolute shit - for example if im at the supermarket, on top of the everything about existing as an autistic person at the supermarket, thered be like a dozen of them constantly going ALERT ALERT CONTAMINATION CONTAMINATION EEK EEK DANGER DANGER BANG BANG BANG- and now the monkeys r GONE. get turned into mostly-dismissable phone notifs, idiots !!!!!!!!!

the only monkey im willingly keeping!!!!! is the low poly 3d model of monkey d. luffy constantly rotating in my brain <3 kfngskjdfs

also like i still do like, say, my cleaning rituals when i get back home, but idk i just. i feel Normal about it?? like calmly wiping my phone bc phones r Gross and not bc i literally see a green film of Germs And Various Pathogens enveloping it lol. anddd i havent been attacked by violent intrusive thoughts in a minute !! lets see if it stays that way. im generally super sensitive to medications too so im on low doses of everything and i wanna keep it like that lol so heres to hoping it keeps goin like this so i dont have to up my dose 8)

uhh thats about it ! having a bit of Personal Issues tm at the moment tho but im so relieved abt my ocd i kinda have the bandwidth to deal with them lol. i prolly jus need some sleep quiet and to not be perceived by anyone for a solid week.

in other lighter and unrelated news my queue is completely empty rn so it'll be just a liiiittle quiet around here for a bit but ! yeah. also i just watched the latest op anime episode and urhgrhghrghrgh it was so good hhh <3333 so yah if you read this whole thing i am giving you a little kiss on the forehead, mwah, hope you have a great week !!

[bloodsadx]

every time i go to print a new shirt theres a few feelings. the first feeling is annoyance and lots of fretting over the art part of it. im rly precious abt what a drawing for a shirt should look like most of the time so i will redraw the same idea like 40 times until it feels charming. then i gotta print transparencies which is always a pain in the ass especially since i do big ass shirts thats like such an annoying process gotta do math gotta split the art up into chunks gotta do color separations. then i get excited cause im like yes this is gonna be such a cool shirt. then i get annoyed again bc i have to reset like 4 to 20 screens for my dumb shirt. then i get rly worried im gonna print super badly and waste a bunch of expensive blanks cause like the shirts and hoodies i print on cost like at least 7 or 8 bucks some of the hoodies i have rn are like 30 bucks wholesale. they would cost u like 80 dollars to buy them Not wholesale. so like thats a decent amt of pressure. then i start printing and its like 4 hours of like doing a print then standing there while i wait for ink to cure under the heat. then printing. then waiting. its a lot of waiting. waiting for office stores to open so i can buy ink for my printer then waiting for my time in the studio then waiting for screens to dry then coating them then waiting for them to dry then washing them out then waiting for them to dry then printing then waiting for the ink to dry. but after like a week i have a bunch of shirts, most of which i will never see again after i mail them out. so the final stage is sort of waiting indefinitely for somebody who has one of the shirts i made to @ me on somewhere and be like shirt by bloodsad and then im like Yes. anyway im just sitting in the studio rn bc my legs hurt and ive been here for like 9 hours and i was here like 9 hours 2 days ago and then yesterday i was also here cleaning stuff and 3 days ago i was here for about 9 hours and the day before that too and it all sort of blends together and a lot of it is me sitting in a chair at 3 am when my legs hurt. this is what a job is but i guess because most of it is spent like alone it doesnt feel like real. i often feel like its going to go away soon or like im doing something illegal even though it wont and im not. a lot of last year i kept standing on the street corner at like 4 am by myself smoking looking at the asphalt and thinking “how much of my time in portland will i remember as just times when i was not at the studio, preparing to go to the studio, and then how much of the time will i remember as me being at the studio, thinking about how soon i will no longer be at the studio, i will be somewhere else, somewhere not in portland?” its weird when u think that u will not be in the place youve been in a year repeatedly for a year soon and then that turns into two years and then you realize that probably u will continue to be in that place indefinitely. i see older people who are in portland and i think about how many of them live here intentionally or just forgot they were supposed to move somewhere else. i think about if thats just the state of living for everybody or if its a factor of my age or being a zoomer or whatever. but idk i guess im printing shirts. no joke or point to this post

[tantei-armin]

ANIMES I'VE WATCHED - WINTER 2023

I'm going to make these from now on, just for fun. This is about the animes I've watched this season, my short opinion and my rate on each. This is just my personal opinion.

-

DROPPED SHOWS: Tomo-chan is a Girl! (2 eps), The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Collegue (3 eps) and Kaina of The Great Snow Sea (1 eps).

First, let me be clear that none of these shows are bad. I will not rate them, coz I don't think it's fair since I've watched less than 3 episodes of each.

Tomo-chan was funny, but after 2 episodes it just felt generic to me. Ice Guy is a super pretty show and rly cute, but I just got bored and not rly invested to want to know more. Kaina, idk. Obviously the CGI animation can't be compared to Trigun Stampede, but it's not by any means bad. It wasn't the animation that made me drop the show, it simply did not hooked me at all, and after the first episode I completely forgot about it. Let me know if you think I should give them a second try.

Now here are the animes I've finished and my ratings for each (in no particular order). Beware for a few spoilers!

High Card

This one was good, but tbh, I couldnt really connect with any of the characters in the show. I actually enjoyed the episodes where it was just dumb fun with getting to see new characters and their weird powers, more than the episodes with actual plot. So the whole thing with Chris at the end, didnt rly appeal to me much, I felt like I barely new anything about him to actually care. Would I watch it again? Probably not, but I did enjoy it and will most likely give S2 a try.

Rate on MAL: 7/10 (Good)

Bonus: Favorite ED this season.

-

Sugar Apple Fairy Tale

I didn't expect to like this show as much as I did. I assumed I would lose interest quickly like it happened to Ice Guy and Cool Colleague. But the show, aside from being visually super pretty, have a nice (even if not the most creative) premisse and I rly liked the characters. It was one of the few anime that I was actually excited to watch a new episode every week. The only downside for me, is that the plot became repetitive halfway through. Ann gets screwded over by others, coz she is a girl and they are jealous of her talent. That made it get quite tiring near the end. But I am still excited for S2 and I hope the plot moves on a bit more.

Rate on MAL: 8/10 (Very Good).

-

In/Spectre S2

Tbh, I feel like this show might be better in manga form than anime. Because there's A LOT if talking. This season (so far) did not have much of a plot, more like 3-4 episodes arcs, that you can watch in random order and it will not affect the experience at all. I like the puzzles and the mystery, but thats about it. I actually waited for each arc to end and watched those episodes on a row, rather than watch weekly. I didnt have to force myself to watch the show and I quite enjoyed each arc. But I wouldnt rewatch it, specially since I know the answer to the mysteries now.

Rate on MAL: 6/10 (Fine).

-

Malevolent Spirits: Mononogatari

Went into this one completely blind. I actually kinda loved it. Unlike other shows that I started losing interest by the end, with this one I started to enjoy more as it went. The first episode gave the impression that it would be just another dumb shounen. I didnt expect the romance and actually rly liked it. The characters are very endearing, and it was refreshing seeing a MC that started as an edgelord and turned out to be a complete awkward dork instead of the other way around. Whats so funny to me is that practically nothing big happened by the final episode. It started as classic shounen and kinda ended like a Slice of Life. Would watch it again, and will definitely check out if theres a S2, since it's clear this was just the beginning of the story.

Rate on MAL: 8.5/10 (Very Good)

-

Revenger

Another show I went in completely blind and enjoyed it... for like half the show. Would not rewatch it. It's okay, I'm not big on historical shows, but it was interesting for most of it. To be honest, I would have rated this show higher, wasn't for the last episode. If tristamp had the best finale of this bunch, this show had the worst.

(Major spoilers ahead)

There was a whole lot of complicated built to the finale only for it to be SUPER BORING. The villain was so generic and during the entire show he was like this super smart guy, always one step ahead of the heroes... only to die in the dumbest way possible. Seriously he literally standed in front of the guy trying to kill him and say "hey come on join me" and got murdered. And then there was this whole thing during the entire show about having the main dude, forgive himself and find another reason to live and whatever. It kept building up and then in the last moment he was just still depressed and got killed by a character that appeared like twice and they never explained why the kid even did that or why he was so angry at him to begin with. Look, I'm all for sad endings and stuff, but this one just felt like the ending basically made half of the show's point completely useless.

Rate on MAL: 6/10 (Fine)

-

Buddy Daddies

This one was great! Very wholesome. It was a lot of fun, but also with some quite good drama. Not gonna lie, I teared up more than once. I expected it to be just dumb comedy, but it turned out to have quite the right amount of fluff and angst. A lot of people expected it to be SpyxFamily Gay Edition, but thats not it. I do have to say though... probably unpopular opinion, but I do NOT like Miri. Honestly she annoyed me to no end. Which makes her more realistic as a kid I guess. Do not go into this if you are expecting some homoerotic tension between the two guys. It's not about that, it's about found family for all parts involved and it's absolutely wholesome. I'll definitely rewatch it some day. Highly recommend.

Rate on MAL: 9 (Great).

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To Your Eternity S2

Aw man this is hard. I absolutely adored the first season, it have probably the most beautiful first episode of all anime. Unfortunately... S2 did not do it for me. I desperately wanted to love the show as much as I did the first season, but it just didn't happen. By the end of the season, I felt detached from it and also disappointed. It didn't give that rush of feelings from season 1, and by the last couple episodes I felt like all the things about loosing people were thrown in the trash with all the revivals. The big reunion was kinda boring too, I was so excited for it, and yet it was just, meh. There were definitely some great highlights, but overall this season was incredibly inferior to S1 imo.

Rate on MAL 7/10

Bonus: Best character development of the season: Bon.

-

Trigun Stampede

Listen. LISTEN! If you follow my blog you know. But listen. This show! I'll say it right now: Anime of the Year. Haven't hyperfixated on anything this hard since Banana Fish.

No, I did not watch Trigun, I tried years ago and dropped after like 3 episodes for a bunch of reasons that I''ll not gonna go into rn. Tbh the main reason I decided to watch Stampede was over the visuals. I am a big fan of Studio Orange. I find their shows visually beautiful and just really pleasing to the eyes (where's my Houseki no Kuni S2, Orange!??), and I was instantly attracted to it when I watched the trailer. So I hopped on the first episode for the eyegasm.

But boy, oh boy this show is gorgeous. After the first episode I was hooked solely for the visual experience and the fun ride. By episode 3 I was hooked by the plot, and by episode 4 (with Wolfwood's introduction), I was in love with the characters.

I love the visuals, the designs, the story, the music, everything. Some of the changes people complained about werent actually changed, just postponed (which I theorized would happen halfway through the show), and some of the stuff that is actually different from the 1998 anime are actually the things I did not like in Trigun 98. And thats just a personal preference. But I do think that the fact I didn't watch the 98 show as a kid (it wasnt even released in my country) gave me the opportunity to fully enjoy Stampede without nostalgia getting in the way and clouding my opinion on it. I'll say that I agree that the pacing was quite fast, but I also understand why Orange and Kenji Muto did that, specially after we realized this entire season was a prequel. I do hope S2 slow down the pace a little bit.

But guys. The finale. Holy shit. The finale. I was rendered speechless. The final episode alone was a masterpiece. That's how you raise the bar on how to do a finale. The second cour of 86 had an AMAZING finale, but this here was something else. The animation was stunning, the music (ohmygod the scene they fell from the tower holy shit, when Vash's wing appeared), everything was absolutely incredible.

This was the show I couldnt wait for a new episode. This was the show I kept rewatching the episodes over and over while waiting for the next. And every time I did, I would find a new detail that I didn't notice in the previous watchs. Look, preferences aside, it is crystal clear how much love and passion was put into this show. From the gorgeous animation, to the character's expressions, to the small details everywhere, to the way the studio's staff interacted with the fans on twitter, this show was put together with a lot of effort, passion and thought.

I can say right now that Trigun Stampede easily became one of my favorite shows of all time, and this is coming from someone who have been watching animes for over 20 years. I'm not really planning to try watching Trigun 98 again, but I am planning on starting the manga, specially since I already got spoiled about some big events.

Bonus: Favorite OP of the season.

Rate on MAL: 10/10 (Masterpiece)

Anime of the Year for me 100%. I do not see any anime taking Tristamp's place, not even SnK's finale, and this is coming from an originally SNK obssessed blog. Thats how much Tristamp impacted me.

-

That's it!! If you think there's an anime I missed this season and should check out, pls leave it in the comments which is and why I should give it a try.

[bayrut]

hiiii I've only listened to a few songs off of zayn's new album bc he gave me the ick a few weeks ago so i kinda had to psyche myself up to listen to it lol. im probably gonna listen to the rest of it today but so far idk how i feel about the new sound!! i guess good for him if thats what he wants to make but theres only like one or two songs that id actually add to my own playlists yk. also usually i really look forward to his lyrics but there's been nothing that's stood out in the songs I've listened to this time. have you listened to it yet? or do you plan too !!

wait wait wait what did i miss what did zayn do... sorry i had no idea he did something honestly i have him and every other one dee guy fiktered so idk who's doing what i just got youtube notifs for the new album rip

and yeah i liked it but as you said nothing stood out too much? But it was nice to have it play while working

[legofemme]

I moved into my new apt in august and loved it for a bit, i even got to know one of my neighbors and would play with her dogs. Except she mentioned offhand once that she 'got rid' of a cat because she thought he 'wanted' to be outside. It was a cat i had been feeding who would constantly come to me with new wounds. Bad taste in my mouth. Even worse was when i let her into my apt because i needed her to feed my cat for a weekend, and i came back to see that she had gone through my stuff and eaten all the food i left out. I didnt mind that she had eaten yknow i dont want to shame someone for being food insecure, but she had to open things to get to it. And it made me feel unsafe and unclean for a while. Then i drove her around to help her find something she had lost, and the whole time she talked about how people who liked rock were going to hell and then about how women shouldnt preach and on and on. She talked about how she hated hispanic people and how she wanted them 'eradicated' and talked about how she hated disabled people despite being on disability herself. On and on.

I snapped at her finally a few weeks ago when i had to rush the cat she dumped to a shelter before it hit -30F, and saw that he had huge gashes on the side of his face. And ever since then shes been... Like. She screams at her dogs for getting close to me unless theres another person around. Swears at me nonstop. Today she tried to throw something at me and screamed and swore because i let her dog sniff me. Im afraid that if she finds out im gay shell get get worse so i have to hide everything away from my windows. I reported it to the landlord and he said he wont renew her lease, but it isnt up until mid july and like. My upstairs neighbor has woken me up at 6 am every day this week by banging on stuff so loud that i hear it through headphones, i got sick with nightmares because there was black mold growing on my bedroom windowsill. Its all like.

Its frustrating because i cant move. I dont Want to move. I like where im at and i like the space. but its exhausting to be woken up so early, and its exhausting to be afraid of being screamed at while im outside. Idk man i wish things didnt suck so bad for once and that i could just be happy about stuff

[i-go-by-whatever]

uh this is gonna be me processing how i feel one year after the news of technoblades passing. skip this one.

it was 10am on july 1st when i learned of the news. the first thing i saw when i woke up was dreams tweet and i just saw 'fuck cancer' and my heart fucking dropped. in that split second i was thinking 'oh no, did it get bad again?' i didnt think that he died. i had hope. when i watched the video and listened to his last words, my heart was shattered and i simply did not know what to do but cry for hours.

i had just got out of a week long 'down' state, when i had felt the worst ive been in years and i had one good day before i heard the news. i fell back into the sadness and it sucked. it sucked so bad.

every few hours id go on twitter and see more people react to it throughout the day. i watched as his family, friends, and community mourned him. every passing tweet made me cry. technoblade meant so much to a lot of people. he meant a lot to me too. and his death hit me so hard i was blindsided by the pain.

its an insane feeling to grieve over someone i dont know or never met, whom i only started watching for less than two years. it makes me feel insane to cry about it when none of my friends knew him. it feels insane how there is no tangible way techno had changed my life because i built no friendships through him, or made art of him, or was even an active member of the community. all i got was/is my love for him and his friends that he introduced me to. idk how to explain it, but it felt like i dont deserve to grieve him.

but obviously his community has been so loving through and through. we held each other, even though i personally spoke to nobody about it (given the fact that i dont talk to anyone or tweet on twitter and nobody irl knew him). theres still a weird feeling of loneliness and isolation despite the collective grief.

the toughest thing to watch was his father grieving him together with us. i had lost my father when i was a child and i watched his mother mourn him. it never made sense then that a parent should watch their kid die. it still doesnt make sense now. in some egotistical, nonsensical way, it felt like the universe did a trade with me.

i have never had any direct communication with technodad, but i think he had helped a lot in my processing my pre-existing grief over my father, together with our grief over technoblade, and everyone else i have lost in between. i will forever appreciate him for that.

sidenote: the dream technodad had about being at a gathering and he couldn't find technoblade. but turns out he was in the other room playing a game. and in the dream he was like 'oh thank god he's not dead' but when he woke up reality hit him like a truck?

yeah well, that was how it felt when i found out my dad passed away all those years ago. i woke up to a house filled with relatives and my mother pulled me aside to tell me my dad had passed away. he was the only person who wasnt there.

the grief i have for technoblade is so deeply intertwined with my grief for my father and i dont think i can ever succinctly explain it to anyone in my life. because they happened 16 years apart and had no connection whatsoever except for me whos in the middle. slowly processing my own grief.

(midwriting this i suddenly realized that after my birthday this year i will be older than technoblade could ever be and im sobbing silently in my room so my roommates cant hear me)

it sucks being someone who doesnt cry in front of people and struggle to ask for help or even a hug. the loneliness is palpable. thats why i wrote everything here.

i love you, technoblade.

i love you, dad.

im sorry to lump the two of you together like this. im a little insane, i know. i hope its okay.

[drunkenfeminista]

i feel like this is a big overreaction that i keep seeing everywhere the last few years. while yes, i agree that theres been a huge push in PG-13'ing the internet in the last few years, i also feel like this is more akin to a forced evolution of slang/language.

a really good example of this that i like to bring up is the cyberpunk TTRPG universe and the very realistic slang that has developed in that alternate world. in the cyberpunk universe, the terms "flatlined" and "zeroed" are the common slang for being killed/dying. the term "unalived", while definitely being forced into use initially by online censorship, isnt really different from "flatlined" and i dont see that as an immature or censored way to describe death the same way "unalived" is seen.

the same can be said for "SA'd". the comment about a coworker using "SA'd" to refer to sexual assault while talking about alcohol honestly has no comparison; one is drink recommendations and the other is an incredibly horrific act forced onto another human being. i dont even get the point in trying to make it seem like theyre close. "SA'd" gets the phrase across just as well, but in a far more conscientious and professionally acceptable manner than just blurting out the word "r*ped" or something. and like...you know what SA'd means. it still stands for "sexual assault" its just been shortened. itd be one thing if they said something like "oh they were no-no square touched" or some shit, but just shortening to SA is rly not weird or dramatic or *dystopic* at all.

idk its just starting to become annoying seeing older millennials and even older gen z'ers bringing up every week how like "oh my god my gen z/gen alpha friend/coworker/relative said this or that relatively normal thing the other day and my faith in humanity died and i realised we are living in a dystopia". like you guys are starting to sound exactly the same as the boomers and gen x'ers who've said all the same shit about millennials the past 30 years.

TL;DR new slang is going to develop one way or another and it isnt dystopic, youre just aging and that both scares you and blinds you by nostalgia.

i know that "unalive" is part of larger worrying trend of self censorship but if you really are in a situtation where you have to avoid the words "die" or "kill" the english language already has centuries worth of much better euphemisms. the iconic and perennial "six feet under"? the lovely imagery of "pushing up daisies"? "shuffle off this mortal coil"????? literally anything from the monty python dead parrot bit???? you have so many options. please try to be more creative at least

[tirasamu]

hey mai mai ! idk if you remember but i’m the coffee nonnie from your previous blog. honestly even when i did find your new one a couple months ago i just didn’t have the motivation to stop by and say hi.

but every so often i like to check over and see what you’ve posted in the past few weeks, something about looking over your blog always brings me at peace, i can’t help but feel calm and relaxed when i do.

but anyway, how’ve you been ?? i hope you’re doing alright and staying hydrated, i myself am working on that 🙂‍↕️ have a good day/night !!

- ☕️

nonnie its so nice to hear from u again !! ofc i remember u, anything w coffee always has my immediate attention !! im so so happy that my blog makes u feel that way, i promise i’ll try to be a little more active so u can keep coming by to destress :< theres never any pressure to reach out but pls know my ask box will always be open whenever u feel like u want to stop by ok? <33

omg ur going to be so proud of me when i tell u ive been so on top of my water lately and my secret is buying a cute bottle 🥺 i love taking it everywhere w me because its so pretty !! but its kinda big and its heavy when its full so carrying it is a little bit of a pain >:/ its so worth it tho !! i was just talking ab how im going to have to get one of those baby chest carrier things to take it w me places

[zak-shit]

this is the turth, the whole turth, nothing but the turth

been home from le trip for like over a week now, it was the best time. I drove the majority of the way home and I loved it, i love a long drive. my music, roads that will always seem foriegn, theres a certain kind of appreciation for roads on a road trip, even if you make the trip a few times a year, theyre so temporary in the big picture, every bit of each mile can be appricated. at least when youre in a good mood and optimistic. which I am sometimes believe it or not!! got wicked sick soon after being home though and spent a good 4 days in bed. actually thinking that was the end. I've been thinking alot of my health as of late. nothing going on, just a new fear developing??

this morning i woke to take Cecilia to school and 2 secs after exiting my neighborhood i hit someones car!!! Its the smallest scratch on the sides of our cars. everyone was super chill praise the lord! but damn what a way to start the day.

I want to quit my vices pretty badly, but then what the hell am I to do?! thats the question... and honestly I dont want to quit, i kinda just want them to work better lmao. I cant feel a nic hit right now, also because my coil is going out and I need a new one. but im on a money saving journey! I dont wanna spend that money!! :/ choices!

It's is wild it being 10 years now, and I'm still in love with my first love. at least a large part of me still is. idk our relationship is nice right now, and has been for a long time now. I like talking to trey like I do, but truthfully, I wish I could be with him more. this isnt the only reason, but a big one and an important one, but i just feel so safe with him still. He's the only one who really knows allll parts of me. the good, the silly, the sexy, the angry, the crazy. he was always so nice to lay with. i want him, and i guess what gets to me about it now, is that I cant just be with him right now, hes pretty far away, and i just dont know how he feels anymore, he could just be protecting himself, but he hasnt expressed how we are end game or wanting to be with me in a while and i just :/ idk! we were both so young yes, but we went in so hard, and the love was always real. we're both so much better now, i was bad for a while, MIA, wishy washy. i could be a bitch too! idk maybe its a daydream but im picky asf and i still want to choose him, that says a bit.

[petrichorium]

There were a few other options (I was hung up on seed pearls icl but then I realized pearl was probably not. The best for a wedding ring that would be seeing some Action) but this one just spoke to me…… it’s actually garnet but we’ll pretend it’s ruby once again just for durability’s sake pfft anyway yapping utc

Shanks actually stumbles across it a good many months before he proposes—he just sees it in a shop window and buys it impulsively, honestly feels so silly about it and even sillier the longer he hems and haws about giving it to me. Deep down he’s well aware of why he bought it and why he’s being weird abt it but outwardly (and to his men) hes like it’s just a ring I’ve given her rings before why am I balking rn LMFAOOOOO

But he holds off for months and keeps it hidden in some little corner of his quarters (probably where he keeps his ugly ass pants tbh lord knows I’m not digging around in there), sometimes carries it around when we’re off on dates and stuff but still never quite pulls it out.

But then we dock at an island known for destination weddings/elopements—honestly we’re probably asked to attend one I think we get that a lot—and the mood is right, he’s feeling particularly sentimental… he asks me to marry him in the middle of this slow, heavy make-out after we’ve fucked 🫠 and I’m a bit out of it And it’s a bit of a baffling question (my immediate thought process is “haven’t we been basically pirate married this whole time???” I must confess) so I’m like uhhhh yeah sure ig

And then he’s got this surge of energy and he’s running off to rifle through a pile of pants he’s left on the floor n before I can fully sit up he’s rushing back to show me the ring box and I’m hit with he has a ring. Hidden in our room. How long has he had a ring? (“six months? seven?” “Oh I said that out loud?”) seven months? What the fuck.

Obviously I say yes. It’s all a whirlwind after that, he’s dragging me out to call the executives together and they catch on the moment they see it on my finger and next thing I know I’m in a little chapel Beckman is shoving some dress he found at a local shop in my hands and there’s a goddamn news coo in the window—

Anyway we’re married less than 24 hrs after he proposes and the whole world knows less than 12 hrs after that (thank you Morgans pls die) and tho it’s a bit terrifying when it all finally sinks in, shanks’ unabashed giddiness every time he calls himself my husband soothes all that.

I haven’t fully decided on it yet but I think our wedding rings r made of scrap metal from the ship, or depending on how canon goes perhaps an old sword of his (his childhood sword from the oden flashback does not seem to be gryphon, not the least of which bc it’s obvi much smaller, so perhaps that. Theres also evidence that he might’ve had a sword other than gryphon when he was w luffy. Theres options!). Idk i think the idea is cute. They’re very simple bands without anything fancy and they’re made a couple weeks in, and exchanged during our second wedding on my home island which we did mostly for the sake of my family/friends who all found out abt the elopement from the newspaper 😔

He wears his ring on a leather cord around his neck. I keep both of mine on my hand for a bit and then there’s a scare w them catching on my revolver a couple months in and getting stuck on my finger until Hongo managed to remove them, so per his “recommendation” (<- strict order) I switch over to a matching cord 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

Does the dash wanna see the shuvi ring btw bc I did figure that one out the other day

[oliviahyeurl]

FINISHED UTENA........