#it feels like it's been so long since mafuyu has been in the story

[galaxsims]

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[jaydenism]

I would love to see what your hypothetical Kanade crash out would look like ngl (you don't need to draw for this if you don't want to a text explanation would still be awesome)

ok soooo this isn't exactly the crashout but rather building up to it i guess :P

the rest of this post is gonna be rambling and predictions ⬇️

alright this ask enabled me, im gonna just dump all my thoughts as of now on what's to come for kanade's story :) i could end up being completely wrong, but hey im just theorizing and having fun here while i wait very impatiently lol

To start, I don't think kana5 will be on the scale of mizu5 (i mean i might be biased but idk if anything will come close to that level of insanity again), mainly because there hasn't been as much build-up to a breaking point. Kanade's issues have been pushed aside (by herself especially) and not heavily focused on up to this point in the story. There hasn't been any increasing tension for things to reach a climax yet. Having her big break be in this next event would be too sudden and sort of unprecedented. For this event at least, I highly doubt that'll be the case. Instead, I think this event will start to touch on Kanade's buried issues more, and begin building that tension for something bigger. I can see this being a multiple event arc, similar to the events leading up to the climax of Mafuyu's story. Summarizing that, yes I think Kanade's got some real tough shit ahead of her, but that's why this won't be a one-off event story. I think it'll just be the beginning.

That being said, to touch more on my predictions for kana5 itself, I think Kanade will start to slip, and the others, Mafuyu especially, will take notice. I can't really predict anything specific, but I think something will happen that will make her question her ability to save people, or cause her to be harder on herself, as she has in the past, to keep composing persistently, neglecting her own needs and health. However, things are different now than they were before niigo. She has more people around her that will be able to see the damage she's doing to herself. But she also knows they all look up to her, and that her music lifts them up. She knows they all have a lot they're dealing with, and she needs to be there for them. She can't let them down.

Then, when Kanade pushes herself past her limits at the cost of her well-being, what will she do then? She meets with the others on nightcord every night, and Mafuyu is living at her place. She won't be able to rot away by herself anymore without people noticing. But she still feels this need to be the group's rock and to be the one to save everyone, so she'll try her damn hardest to prevent the others from worrying about her. She'll shoot down their attempts at trying to talk about it. I think she might be especially stubborn this time around, and it might cause niigo to have to figure out a way to help Kanade, since they won't be able to get through to her at first.

Kanade has shown in the past to get uncharacteristically aggressive when she's pushing herself too hard, as shown above. She starts to take on everything herself, and snaps at anyone who tries to stop her. I think this side of her will be shown more going forward, as she begins to go down this kind of self-destructive path yet again. At least, that's where I think her story will go. Her tendency to work herself to the bone hasn't really been resolved, and she's gone so far with it before to end up in the hospital after passing out. She doesn't care what happens to her, as long as she can save people. The only reason she has ((slightly)) gotten better at taking care of herself is so that she can be able to keep composing without ending up in the hospital again. Not because she cares about her health. Because she must keep composing. She still only does the bare minimum for herself. If it's her cooking, she's only having instant ramen, and most days she's probably not going to see the sun. She still doesn't sleep much, and Mafuyu has said that she's often falling asleep at her computer.

This might be getting a little rambley atp, but my point is that Kanade neglects her own needs in her determination to save others. I mentioned how she neglects her physical health in the last paragraph, but she also neglects her own feelings as well.

She minimizes her own problems or just doesn't even talk about them. I think she truly believes that her problems don't matter, that they only distract her from her goals. The reason she doesn't open up is likely because she herself doesn't believe her feelings are important at all. She doesn't pay them any mind, and she doesn't want anyone else to either.

Of course, I have to bring this card up. I think this is just a perfect visual representation of Kanade's feelings, and it's great foreshadowing for what's to come. Those feelings are buried deep within Kanade, yet to be addressed or solved. THIS is what we're getting into. Kanade, depicted as an angel, surrounded by death. I think this is related to her guilt surrounding what happened to her father, believing it was her fault. That she destroyed everything. But because of that incident, she told herself she has to keep composing, and never stop, in order to save people. She feels like she owes that much, and that that's her sole purpose. She won't allow herself to think otherwise. No matter how much it destroys her, she must be a savior for others.

Last thing I wanted to add, because I saw this reblog under a prev kanade analysis post, and they brought up great points. Especially how dangerous Kanade's composing grind can get. We wouldn't even have a story if Honami hadn't found Kanade unconscious!!! I think she might get to a really low point again like this, but having Mafuyu there especially, it won't be able to go unnoticed. I don't have much else to add to those tags though cus they speak for themselves 🙏

Finally, just real quickly going back to the little comic I drew, this is just a rough idea of how I think Kanade could act. She'll get noticeably worse, but will try to hide that fact from the others and deny any help from them. I also mentioned that I think we could see more aggression from her again, so I included that, as she feels threatened in a way by Mafuyu worrying about her. She can't let that happen. Also, Kanade's impending doom aside, I think this progression in the story may also spark some change in Mafuyu. She might show some more emotion in this or future events, and she may realize how much Kanade means to her, motivating her to do more for her. I think it'll be a full group effort to save Kanade, but I wanna see Mafuyu taking a bigger role in this. I just think this also has the potential to grow Mafuyu's character more.

Also, as for the Kanade crashout, I really don't know how they'll handle that. I can't really predict what they're gonna do with her climax. But I want her screaming yelling and crying !!! like she better go insaneeee 🙏 and I also feel like they have a lot of potential with her seiyuu/VA and stepping out of the soft quiet voice to do some crazy shit, maybe in the songs too pls pls pls give us loud kanadeeee

OKAY THATS ENOUGH YAPPING its 5 am i havent slept....

[biocrafthero]

I wish I could put my thoughts regarding Kana5 into words rn because I have seen discussions regarding if Mafumom will be forgiven or not and what kind of effect that'd have on the story. However, I think that we're focusing too much on what we as the audience thinks about the characters instead of how the characters themselves feel in this moment. So I'm gonna just try to word everything right lol

There's no getting around the fact that, despite everything, Mafuyu cares about her mom a lot. The relationship the two of them have is extremely complicated and I feel like the demonization of her mom is to the detriment of us as the audience. Btw this is NOT be saying that Mafumom is a good person, please keep this in mind, I just have a lot of thoughts on the subject as 1) someone who likes and enjoys complicated characters and 2) I'm also someone who has a pretty complicated relationship with my own mother and has been navigating a lot of that in the last year.

I do think it's possible for Mafumom to be a better person, especially since that she's pushed her daughter so far that she's ended up pushing her away. We see her reflecting on this during Kana5, actually doubting herself and what she's done. It's very subtextual honestly, but I wouldn't be surprised if Mafumom had tied a huge part of her own identity to her daughter. The way the narrative has handled this kind of element is actually really interesting, specifically the way it uses the idea of a normal family in a very horror kind of way (idk how to explain this my mutuals can do a better job than me when it comes to this). The demonization the fandom does of Mafumom prevents them from actually seeing that, yes, she does care about her daughter a lot even if she's very manipulative and toxic about it. It's a part of Mafumom's character that is undeniable and has a lot of nuance to it.

There's also more nuance I think to the idea of parenthood the narrative is exploring. In every scene in Kana5 with Mafuyu's parents when they're talking about how much they care for their daughter, they're always recalling early childhood—never do they mention or bring up anything past the age range of 10-12 (rough estimate sorry lol). While Mafudad knows more about Mafuyu in the present and the person she's become, there's still that disconnect. Mafudad was basically absent for a long period of time and Mafumom still holds onto the idealized image of her daughter that formed when Mafuyu was still in early childhood.

There is zero guarantee that the confrontation in Mafu6 will go well for... anyone really. There's no sure way for me to say that the two parties here will come to an understanding, but there's also no getting around how they care about each other even if it's not perfect and even harmful. It doesn't matter if Mafuyu and her mom can come to an understanding and reconcile or not, it's more about the consequences that whatever this conflict will have. It's not even like the story hasn't been building up to this either—in Mizu4, while Mizuki does say that it's okay to run away, she acknowledges that it doesn't make the problem just disappear and that you have to face it eventually.

And not to just say it, but honestly the consequences of Mafu6 will likely have to do with Kanade (in the sense of furhering development for her). Kanade has been stuck for a long time now, and as we see in Kana5 it's because she's so hung up on the idea of being able to save Mafuyu (which reflects her overall savior complex). This is just not sustainable, as the event demonstrates. If Mafuyu and her mom reconcile, then what point is there in Kanade trying to save her with a song if Mafuyu has managed to save herself with the help of everyone else?

And also. Well. Hear me out: Kanade and Mafumom are kind of meant to parallel each other. This goes back to Mafu2 and has been a very subtle thing that the story has been holding very close to its chest, but has become even more obvious due to the events of Kana5. Kanade has tied her identity to Mafuyu in such a way that it literally starts to kill her. She falls back into old habits (see: Kana2) in her attempts to try and create a song that captures something that she doesn't even understand (the affection that Mafuyu holds for her mom). Not to mention that these parallels also made themselves known during Kana3, too.

It's the tying of identity to someone else that acts as determination of self-worth that's important here. If Kanade isn't the person who saves Mafuyu... then what was all of this for? If Kanade can't even save one person (see: some dialogue from Main Story, I forget exactly when but I know it's there), then what kind of spiral will she drive herself into now?

Idk that's just my thoughts. There's a lot of nuance people ignore/don't pick up on and wanted to share my ideas

[buggitino]

i hate people who say that mafuyu is “system coded” because no the fuck she is not

emotional dissociation is a type of dissociative amnesia, but that doesn’t automatically mean she has DID or OSDD. more often than not, chronic emotional dissociation is a result of high stress and/or depression. it is a symptom of DID, but mafuyu does not hit nearly enough checkboxes to qualify for DID itself

and before anyone starts talking about “yuki” and “the good girl” and “OWN” - she is fully aware of OWN, “yuki” is an online name, and her “good girl” persona is just that: a persona

i wish these people would realize that everyone has “parts” of themselves, and its NORMAL to feel like a different “part” when interacting with different groups

putting on an act for people isnt the same as having alters, and thats what mafuyu is doing

the only reason “OWN” exists during the first story is because mafuyu doesnt trust the others enough to reveal her “true self” (that being the emotionally disconnected mafuyu instead of the “good girl” mafuyu that she initially displays)

“OWN” is not a different “mafuyu”. shes fully aware of OWN because she is actively creating music under that username, and if the people saying shes “system coded” had any critical thinking skills, they would’ve been able to tell that she was pretending not to know about OWN with the group because she doesnt want them to see it yet

in other words: she lied to them. fucking obviously.

also, need i remind you, OSDDID is formed in childhood as a result of prolonged and extreme trauma. the cutoff age for development is 9 years old, as that is when most childrens emotions, interests, and sense of selves integrate (the only way for those things NOT to integrate is if the child is experiencing trauma that is extreme enough to force them into dissociating to escape it ON TOP OF the trauma being severe enough that the childs brain deems it necessary to pocket the memories away from the “core”)

mafuyu did not dissociate during childhood, nor were her memories compartmentalized the same way it would in the case of OSDD or DID. at that time, she was only teaching herself to hide her true feelings from her mother and be a “good girl” according to her mothers standards, not escaping from reality. repression is not the same as dissociation or DP/DR, though it can lead to those things if it happens for long periods of time (as seen in mafuyu’s case), and dissociation/DP/DR is not the same as having OSDDID.

i don’t think mafuyu’s mother is abusive. and, yes, i’m talking about the “you don’t want to be a bad girl, right?” stuff. i really do think her mom believes she has mafuyu’s best interest in mind and is trying her best to help mafuyu. her way of going about it isn’t great, but i think a lot of the stuff that people are saying is “manipulative” or “guilt-tripping” just isn’t. yes, she’s been manipulative and guilt-trippy, but it’s never an intentional attempt to hurt mafuyu. she’s overbearing, and i can see how her helicopter parenting can be interpreted as abusive, but she cares for mafuyu. she’s had this idea of her daughter for 17 years, so i’m not surprised she gets shaken and lashes out when that idea is very suddenly challenged by mafuyu’s interest in music. this isn’t to excuse her behavior, but at least her reactions are appropriate with her context. i don’t think mafuyu is traumatized, i think she’s a 17 year old who’s never openly communicated with her mother. i don’t think being told “don’t you want to be a good girl? don’t you want to make your mother proud?” is traumatic (even with the “tone”) - especially since that is literally the only thing that happened - i think mafuyu never went through a rebellious phase (which, btw, i know she’s a fictional character, but every child has a rebellious phase. being told “don’t be a bad girl or i’ll be upset” doesnt nullify that. if mafuyu HAD gone through a rebellious phase, i guarantee her mother would’ve gotten over her fantasy and started cultivating more realistic expectations for her daughter)

but, if we’re going with the “no, mafuyu IS traumatized!!!!” thing, then the most she’d be dealing with is depersonalization, and this is taking into consideration the action itself as well as the severity of the child’s interpretation. her mothers alleged abuse is one salient memory out of the potential thousands or hundreds of thousands that a child’s brain uses to drive the development of “personality” and “beliefs”. the single core belief of “if i’m bad, i’ll make my mom upset” is not enough, traumatically speaking, to develop the “system-type” OSDDs, and it DEFINITELY isnt enough to develop DID. so, coming from a system member, please for the love of god stop telling the pjsk fandom that mafuyu is system coded. i think colopale has done enough damage to the younger players with kanamafu, you people are making it worse.

ok rant over (for now)

[the-one-that-weeps]

Let's celebrate the coming of Immiscible Discord to En with a niigo analysis. Specifically, I want to talk about Niigo and how they're affected by love.

The climax of the event isn't as much "Kanade shit talks Mafumom" as much as Kanade realizing that she knows what love is

And it is not what she's seeing right now.

Kanade as a character has come a long way; from barely caring about her health to slowly getting better, from caring exclusively about the idea of "saving" anyone to actually wanting to save Mafuyu, etc. but another important aspect of her character lies in memory.

Kanade is a traumatized person. Her memory affects her greatly, but as the story progresses, it starts to get easier. We've seen it with the carnation field, we later see it in her 4th event too. Kanade is slowly starting to embrace her memories — because it's not all dark there, because she used to be a happy person and a happy child, because her parents loved her unconditionally (even with all she's done).

Because Kanade knows what love feels like better than anyone else. And that's why she's the chosen character for this situation.

A crucial part of Niigo is about love, not even about love but how the gals react to it. Take a look: Mizuki has never been well liked and all the comfort they got (except Yuki we love Yuki) was lukewarm and distant. Mizuki also embraces that form of loving; they never get too close, they're hesitant, they're just as scared as their peers were.

Now take a look at frustrated, enraged Ena, desperately craving attention that she never got. Now take a look at Mafuyu, how fake her own affection feels, how restricted, like she doesn't have the blueprints for what to do besides smiling thinly and chugging poison. How conditional it is.

Your childhood ends up being what you are for the rest of your life.

Kanade doesn't have that because Kanade's life was good. Once — not anymore — but it was good. She was loved, and she has learnt to love copying her own parents (that's why her gift to her father in the 4th event was so important).

It's because of those experiences, because now she can look at her memory without gagging, that she recognizes Mafumom's lack of real love and stands up to it.

Even if Ena symbolises rebellion, even if Mizuki symbolises freedom, it's Kanade who talks back to Mother.

So yeah. Love was there and it continues to be there and it has been there since the beginning and it will continue to exist because once upon a time a mother and a father loved their daughter.

[w0nderhoyman]

ABSOLUTELY LONG AND PROBABLY STUPID THEORY ON THE MIZU5 ALERT!!!!!!!!

I AM NOT UPDATED ON THE STORIES SO FEEL FREE TO TELL ME!!!!!!! I WILL ADJUST AND FIX TO MATCH UP TO MY ABSOLUTE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET ME THEORIZE ABOUT THE EVENT AND WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN

OKAY SO in the event title thing the niigo logo is breaking apart. people have been thinking that nightcord will kick mizuki out, disband, or whatever. BUT THEY HAVENT ACHIEVED THEIR GOAL OF HELPING MAFUYU GET BACK HER ABILITY TO FEEL PROPERLY. so i DONT think niigo will disband from her secret, BUT it might be more of "what Mizuki thinks will happen/is happening" after she tells their secret.

STILL TALKING ABOUT THE EVENT TITLE, the text starts to like fade and break down. i think mizuki is going to have a full on mental breakdown, considering her face in the card. also considering one of the letters makes a road of thorns, it's gonna be ROUGH for them.

STILL STILL TALKING ABOUT THE EVENT TITLE, there is a rooftop in the background. we see a rooftop in the bg of mizu's card. it's alllll gonna happen on the rooftop. AND. AND AND AND. You can see a pink butterfly (representing Mizuki) flying down, going down that road of thorns previously mentioned with a brown butterfly (representing Ena) going after her. i think this is gonna be ena somewhat to absolutely accepting mizuki for their secret, BUT mizuki was so scared of telling and overthought the whole thing that she ran away in fear. BECAUSE THAT IS NOT A FACE YOU MAKE WHEN SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR DECISIONS. THAT IS A THOUSAND YARD STARE. but with FEAR.

NOW GOING TO THE CARDS. The fact that Ena's 4* is named (something like) "In The Pained Twilight," i actually DO NOT KNOW WHAT THIS COULD MEAN. It could be that Ena is like "why didnt you tell me this before...?" but in SUCH A PAINED MANNER. I forgot what mizu's card is named but WHY IS KAITO HERE?? HE'S THE BLUNT ONE. HE HELPED MAFUYU AND SPAWNED IN FROM KANADE'S RESORTMENT TOWARDS MRS ASAHINA. SO WHY IS HE HERE.

anyways I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE VA'S AND NAKISO'S WARNINGS. im gonna focus more on ENA'S VA because it has an IMPORTANT MESSAGE.

suzuki says "I hope this will be an opportunity to think about what it means to know and face another person." MIZUKI FANS WE NEED TO HOLD HANDS BECAUSE THIS DEFINITELY MEANS THERES GONNA BE A LOT OF EMOTION AND STUFF LET OUT. Ena is the one Mizuki is telling their secret to. Ena will LIKELY be faced by Mizuki, as in a kind of manner of Mizuki being so panicked and anxious that it feels like a stand-off of overwhelming fear of being unaccepted against the reality of Ena being accepting.

AND THEN AS WE KEEP READING DOWN SUZUKI'S TWEET SHE SAYS "We live in a world where we clash more than necessary in an attempt to make things black and white, but depending on the time and position a person has been in, even if they say or do the same thing, their feelings are different underneath. I want to remember this, both as a person and as an actor." OH THIS IS DEFINITELY TRANS. "In an attempt to make things black and white," as in "born boy, always a boy and born girl, always a girl" (probably) "... but depending on the time and position a person has been in..." Since Mizuki wanted to present feminine and her sister helped her out, she is now grateful because her sister helped her greatly, "even if they say or do the same thing," conforming to society, "say or do the same thing" as in follow what the crowd says (even though mizuki literally stands out at their school), "their feelings are different underneath." AS IN MIZUKI JUST WANTS TO BE A GIRL. PLEASE SUZUKI DONT DO THIS TO ME

and the fact that Mizu's VA cried after production and her voice acting definitely means Mizuki herself broke down in the story.

NAKISO. LETS TALK ABOUT NAKISO. TODAYS TOPIC. NAKISO. Their tweet was warning us about realities or whatever BUT THIS COULD MEAN A LOT OF THINGS:

- Ena facing Mizuki's reality of their secret, knowing what it is and how painful it was to even gather up the courage to spill it, after being motivated by seeing Mafuyu move forward

- Mizuki facing Ena's reality of either accepting or not accepting Mizuki's secret.

- Everyone (as in all of us) facing the reality of the dynamic between Mizuki and Ena and how that secret might change everything to our POV

OH MY HODHVAKADNANA

[project-sekai-facts]

based on the interview posts, it's definitely thought-provoking to consider what's going to happen next. personally i do wonder if pjsekai will become "multi-generational" if it remains popular enough to continue (which is nearly impossible not to be considering a good portion of its competitors have been going for longer than 6 years at this point), the original 5 units would be the first generation, a conceptual new number of units being the next, and so on, because of the implication that "the original 5's stories will reach their conclusions and have an end" and after their conclusions are reached then, while they could write a new story with the characters with new adult issues and seeing them grow up further, there are still a lot of opportunities to expand on the game's lore and universe with new units, how the original units affected others, and especially sekai lore, especially since a lot of the game's lore has to do with miku helping out many individuals with their problems, and currently the majority of that is only done through the original unit's sekais, which is only a select 20 people's views (minus the vs fes cards which only have little lore anyways). Maybe it will be something like lovelive where the original generation (u's) has officially graduated but are still featured in newer games and still get some content in those games. Ultimately what happens next is something we just have to see the game develop closer to, but it's a solid option that the game can technically go for.

yeah like they said it's a difficult decisions. because on the one hand you've got these beloved characters and stories that people will have grown up with at that point, and continuing them on into 3rd year/university would mean there's more things you can do with them and new ideas you could include. and i think in a natural storytelling sense it would make sense to carry on with the main 5 because quite frankly having them all achieve their dreams and that before they've even finished high school is... somewhat unfulfilling? especially with n25 i think it would make a lot of sense to carry them on into uni, maybe have Ena go to art school and Mafuyu go to nursing school. even if their stories ended before they graduated uni I feel like that would be a really satisfying conclusion for them compared to maybe just mentioning that's where they're going when they finish high school. but then there's the fact they mentioned about just carrying on because it's popular and the story going stale because they only wrote so far. and that's definitely a threat because that can happen if they've only planned so far ahead. then again, the writing team is generally top-notch and other games have proven that you can stick around without people ever getting tired of the story.

i do however think the generational format could work. as you said it could expand more on the lore, introduce new characters with new problems, and prevent people from growing tired of the old ones. on the lore side of things i wonder if they would be included in the Tree SEKAI with the main 5, or if there would be a new collective sekai for them? the only thing about having a generational format similar to Love Live (where you completely conclude the story of the previous generation before the next generation...ish) is that you have to execute it well. SIP -> Sunshine worked because there was an in-universe 5 year timeskip. it left you with this legacy that u's had left that people were trying to chase, and Aqours had to learn that they had to find their own radiance instead of trying to directly copy u's. u's was long gone from the story and never actually appeared in the present day and that worked really well and i think was the best decision they could have made because actually having them there i think would ruin the whole idea of legacies and how they can work (sorry for rambling on a bit here I really like Sunshine). even in Superstar and Nijigaku there are nods to SIP and Sunshine but the characters never actually appear. It's similar to the VBS story actually with Nagi and trying to carry her legacy (with the difference is that u's and aqours are still alive. probably.).

that got a bit rambly but what i'm trying to say is that if you want to do a completely new generation and retire the old ones completely, it has to be done in a way that doesn't rely to much on stuff like random coincidences. you need there to be solid reasons why some kid would look up to a group of 4 kids who performed at a disneyland equivalent or 4 kids who held a music event. obviously there will be development in their stories between now and new units being added but I think adding in a timeskip and saying "yeah, they went on to do this really big inspiring thing" would be much more effective than a bunch of new characters who are hugely inspired by a niche teen music group that honesly doesn't really have much of an impact on anything. the reason VBS' story with legacies works is because there's actual stakes. RADder was a hugely successful group that had CD sales, national tours and a member that became a successful independent artist worldwide. RAD WEEKEND, although more limited to Tokyo, was still massively popular and inspired many people to put on an event that will surpass it. RADder is a big name and a big inspiration and leaves big shoes to fill, and that's why it works so well because there's big goals to work towards.

also in some ways as well a bunch of characters surpassing RW2 just after we saw VBS&Co put on RW2 would be a little bit unsatisfying I think. RADder are side characters who people are less attached to than VBS, but if you were to introduce VBS2 just after the original, even if there's a timeskip, it would probably leave a bit of a bad taste for some fans of the original VBS who'd spent years following their story.

to throw my own personal wishes for the games story on here, i think doing something similar to bandori or d4dj would work best for them. as in, adding new units who kinda take centre stage but still having the old units getting events and stories of their own. we could have new characters to keep things fresh but still get to see the original 20 growing up, having their careers take off, facing more adult problems and such. you could have the OG20 around to mentor the new characters as well, and keep the whole tree sekai lore intact with that being something that revolves around the original 5 units (and actually fucking develop the lore holy shit colopale it's been 3 years don't drag it out another 3 and then actually reveal all the lore before then completely retiring it). ahaha maybe this is a bit too self-indulgent and wishful thinking because I am way too attached to the main 20 but also from the perspective of someone who has done screenwriting classes at college it does work.

[dailyaoyagi]

vbs wl2 has been stuck in my head for a while now, mainly the possible concept of toya if he never rebelled. i made a very small vbs au as a result of this where the four have vastly different personalities, primarily due to things that went differently in their past (eg. an if she found out about nagi earlier and ran away as a result)

so on a more pertinent note, i believe you've already answered an ask about what you want for toya's wl2 chapter, and i ABSOLUTELY agree on being sick of toya's recent stories constantly being about other people (with the exception of the first concerto i LOVE THAT EVENT!!!!). while this can certainly be used to infer how much he loves and cares for the people around him like akito, tsukasa, an, kohane, gurney flap, etc. it does get tiring sometimes. so yeah toya's chapter better be primarily about toya.

i love angst so Much. it's an interesting way to explore characters and see a side of them we don't normally do. while it can be a bit ridiculous when not executed properly i will usually eat it up if my brain says i will. this ties into how i would like angst for toya's wl2 (if his what if is if he never rebelled then thats a guarantee) since i don't often see angst of him. yeah i know i sound like Those tsukasa fans right now hehbsanksjdbnas........,,,

anyways, enough of me being the ultimate yapper--what do you think toya's wl2 card will look like, assuming it would be if he never rebelled? (untrained, trained or both if you feel like it) i feel like it would be a quite the experience if he was crying in his untrained because oh my God imagine. or he has the most 'i've given up' expression ever. i think i would especially die if his trained has him in a cage. like a bird. heh.

anyways thanks for listening to my YAP BATTLE!!!!!!! i had some fun thinking about this

I'm the same actually, I made an AU where he and Mafuyu were swapped. Mafuyu rebels against her mom while doing street music while Toya is still his dads puppet. It's honestly pretty interesting to mess around with, especially since I can mess around with the Vocaloids not in the game.

YOU GET IT, I'm so tired of Toya's focuses not even being about it! Yes it happens once and a while with other characters but for Toya it's constant. You could argue that Kanade is the same but her savior complex is her entire thing so it makes sense her events would focus on that. It's funny to, I've gotten so much hate for not liking GF from so many people (I've even been called ableist for not liking Souma) but like I'm sorry for thinking they took up too much screen time. Hell the worst case of them being too relevant is an An focus, not a Toya one and I didn't like Haruka2 (though I can forgive them because IF means so much to me) or Shizuku4 for that reason either! It's pretty tiring to deal with and all over characters who aren't playable and never will be.

I like angst when the story calls for it and when it's not torture porn and that's what I want from an AU Toya. I want to see a Toya that never rebelled and never ran away and stayed his dad's puppet. That idea is so interesting to me I need it so badly. If it's just "what if he and Akito never made up" and it's about how important Akito is to Toya I'm going to be so disappointed, I love Akitoya but let him have this to himself. The NPCs stole his last WL so he needs one to himself this time, one that's all about him and his struggles.

I want them to look like the D4DJ reverse cards. Meaning in other words the total opposite of the units vibe. It would be a nice contrast to the previous WL as well. Here are some examples of the D4DJ reverse cards, I personally love them (fun fact: the one with the white hair surrounded by black blocks has An's va). I really like your idea for Toya as well, it makes me think of this song.

Thank you so much for leaving a yap session! I really enjoy long submissions like these, they're so much fun.

[correctproseka]

no clue whats happening on the jp server (im out of the loop on purpose)

but i was looking at the event list because i wanted to see if we were actually starting mizuki's arc like we all assumed with bake no hana/ominous tolling of the bells

and not only do the two most recent niigo events seem focused on mafuyu again but the one that they started today seems focused on a bigger part of mafuyus story

and i have mixed feelings about it

n25 has so many deep/complex stories and struggles that i personally feel we're not taking enough time to explore, i was really excited for mizukis arc beside, her being my oshi aside, i was excited to finally see a different characters perspective and struggles and a deeper look into their story so we can start to see the other girls start healing too

i assumed like everyone else that mafuyu would step out of the spotlight to let mizuki have a few months of focus where everyones focus events just tie into mizuki because thats what we've been doing with mafuyu for the better portion of this games airing

but with the most 2 recent events being focused on deep mafuyu lore, again, (and i only have the brief summary on the wiki, so i could be wrong) i dont know if theyre going back to focusing on fuyu or if they couldnt find a way to make a mafuyu story that did fit into mizukis story (you know, the way that I nandesu and kitty both are ena or mizuki comms/focus events but the story still revolves around mafuyu, same with samsa) which if true is another issue on its own

but mainly idk i feel we've spent enough time on mafuyu for now and maybe this is a short overlap to tie up loose ends in his story or maybe its to show that more than one group mate can struggle at a time but colopale doesnt have a good track record and i dont trust it

this is in no way hate for mafuyu hes one of my faves too it just doesnt feel fair, enas art struggles get handled so passively but i know theres more to her and idk i am the rain made me feel we were just gonna prematurely wrap that up and kanade hasnt dealt with her deeper issues at all yet and almost 4 or 5 years into the game i wanna see more. so much gets hinted at and then completely ignored and i just want everyones story to feel complete and everyones problems/trauma to be not only heard of or hinted at but actually properly explored and resolved and its not fair that (again, to me, with limited knowledge) mafuyu is the only one to have that so far

we dont know how long we'll have this game after all

-rambler anon

Ok, not to say i disagree rn, just to explain a little thing

Mizuki's arc didnt start in Mizu5. It ended in Ena5. It started all the way back with Id Smile, it was a Mizuena focused arc as much as Ena's arc is usually within herself.

Meanwhile, it needs the entirety of niigo to "save" Mafuyu, Kanade can't do it alone (girly can't even save herself, differently from Ena).

What i thought they would do since Mafuyu run away is, for the second half of the game, to focus on Kanade, because her issues are quite literally killing her. But not much has happened yet. I figured they needed to almost finish Mafuyu's story up before.

That being said, i got the summary of this event by now, and I can't say im mad towards the direction its going. There was NOT a true forgiveness and trust, just a "we could try", which did not work because both mafumom and mafuyu need help, Mafumom to understand what she is doing and Mafuyu to understand that it is not her fault. As i assumed before the event, mafumom would fuck up again, its a habit, and those are hard to break.

I just wish they focus on Kanade more soon.

Also, one thing i wish they focused more before finishing Mizuki's arc: the reason why niigo is so focused on helping Mafuyu. There is no niigo without all of them, niigo would break without Mafuyu, but it would also break without Mizuki, so id love to have had an event showcasing that when Mizuki disappeared.

That being said, it is progressing on a satisfying way if you end up reading the stories, its just. Very slow. Not the worst writing in the game but they could try doing it a little better, yeah, such as, how you said: make kanamafu actually aware of mizuenas issues. Those two have the emotional intelligence of a wall I swear.

And we're about in the middle of the game, but as all units i see (but vbs, what is vbs doing) are starting to slow down their progression (example, leoni with Saki starting to hint she doesn't want to go pro) ((note: i am not aware of what wxs is doing bc they're my least favorite unit, so i could be wrong)) i think itll take a bit over 4 more years to finish.

[mimiso-soup]

Sekai character parallels I think about a lot in the game. Very long rambling, so more under the cut! If I'm wrong about anything, please correct me! It's been a while since I've read some of the stories in Sekai, so I'm going based off on memory.

(I'm learning how to use Tumblr and I wanted to try to use "Read More". This is so neat :D!)

- Saki & Emu = They both had something majorly depressing in their lives: for Saki, it was not being able to see her friends properly and missing a lot of experiences in her youth: meanwhile, Emu lost her grandfather, the only person who really understood her, and trying to go against her father & brothers who had different views on 'Phoenix Wonderland' than her (then about the whole Wanshow disbanding thing, but that's a later thing).

Despite all this, they try to hide their troubles and negativity under genuine smiles and pure happiness. This doesn't necessarily mean they are depressed, but sometimes they have their times when they get really sad over such things. This happens at times where something really negative happens (like most of Saki's L/n focus events and I believe Emu's first event as well, but it's been a while since I've read that story so I can't really remember. But she does cry in her fourth event, too, so that counts for something), but the thing is, that suck at hiding their sadness tbh. (Again, I don't believe it's them hiding any sort of depression. It's them getting overwhelmed with negativity and not wanting to hurt others with it.) Fortunately, they have close friends who care a lot about them and get them through their troubles!

- Honami & Mafuyu = I remember seeing someone talk about this on Twitter, and I've spoken about this parallel friends a lot. They both help other people, but at the beginning of their stories, neither would say they were truly close to anyone until Honami properly reunited with L/n while Mafuyu gradually becomes closer with Niigo.

The difference is that Mafuyu never had an identity of who she really is that she made herself while Honami has one, but she's a people pleaser and afraid of being disliked. (Like me-)

What a lot of people seem to forget about Honami that she was asked by Kanade if she ever thought about "disappearing." She said yes, meaning at some point, she had depression. Gradually, with the help of her friends, Honami has become stronger in herself. She still says yes to things (like the event where she was helping at the kindergarten for art despite being unable to draw herself), but she's growing stronger with the help of her friends and does truly enjoy helping others because that's who she is.

Meanwhile, Mafuyu is not there yet and can't exactly heal at the moment since she is still suffering due to her mother. Not to mention, she needs to put on an entire "good girl face" whenever she's talking to others outside of Niigo because she's still being seen as "the ideal girl."

- Tsukasa & Minori = I think it's interesting how they're so similar yet not many people mention it. They are both a positive manifestation of "We'll get rejected multiple times, but we won't let it bring us down! We'll keep pushing forward and one day, we will be rewarded with something even better than we dreamed of!"

For Minori, she had dreams of being an idol, but it was beyond her dreams to be in an idol group with three former idols who all regained the love for being an idol they thought she had lost and want to be an idol group together. Meanwhile, with Tsukasa, he aims to be a star, and while he's still aiming to be one, he managed to find a theater troupe who he can be himself with and still grow bigger together.

- Mizuki and Ena & Rui and Nene = I saw an amazing thread on Twitter comparing MizuEna & RuiNene parallels where MizuRui stubbornly hide themselves and their feelings because they know what it's like to be hurt for being different and they care too much about those they are close with and not wanting to hurt others. This is different from Saki & Emu because while you can tell something is wrong with MizuRui, they refuse to say anything at all.

The only difference is that Minori doesn't always have confidence in herself (not tonsay that she doesn't have any at all, it's just there are times where she lacks it) while Tsukasa has too much and needed to be humbled.

With Ena & Nene, they are both different in their ways since Ena is as equally stubborn in helping others and can be a bit forceful at times, but she has learned that it takes time for some to open up and that "she'll wait for whenever Mizuki is ready." With Nene, she can tell when something is wrong with Rui because even when they grew distant for a while, they're childhood friends and neighbours. It feels that whenever Nene asks, Rui denies his feelings, and she doesn't exactly push but still watches over him.

This is interesting because you can tell that MizuRui care so much about EnaNene especially (not saying they don't care abt the others in their units, it's just those two in particular due to their relationship).

- Airi & Akito = The Shinonomes are already quite similar, so I wanted to talk about others.

When we're first introduced to Airi & Akito, they both have a "mean front" with Airi saying, "What makes you think you're fit for being an idol?" and Akito asking, "Are you really putting your all into it?" to Minori & Kohane specifically.

This is because they want others to be putting their all into things that they share equal passion in and not those who are only putting in "minimum effort" due to their own self-worth issues of Airi being an idol but her agency trying to turn her morn into a "TV personality" while Akito wants to prove his worth in music.

This is interesting because with the person they're closest to (Shizuku & Toya), they fight with them because they care so much, and they resolve it because they do care so much. They prove to be friendly and amusing afterwards with many times both AiriAki having moments going "Guys, we have to be reasonable, nO DON'T DO THAT-"

And that's all I have for now! This is a super long ramble so thank you for taking the time to read!

[alivish]

PJSK 4.5 Anniversary Event Predictions

The announcement is coming out tomorrow. I probably should've done this earlier, but whatever I'm doing it now.

I'll mainly be talking about what I think the event will be and the accompanying Bloomfest cards that will be revealed.

Eventwise I think we're getting a vocaloid only event, like Connected through SEKAI's Cherry Blossoms or Resonate in The SEKAI! Your Song!, or we're getting Rui5.

I know ColoPale confirmed that there would only be one character focus per month before World Link starts, but I do not know what Limited Events are. I do not know if they are viewed as the last event of the month or the first event of the month. I know they technically start at the end of the month, but more often than not they end spending more time as the start of the month. So my predictions will be taking both possibilities into consideration.

Vocaloid Only Event

If lim events are considered the last event of the month, I think it makes the most sense for us to get a vocaloid only event.

Two main reasons. Firstly, the last time we had a vocaloid only event was in 2023 with Resonate in The SEKAI! Your Song! (not counting World Link), and I think we're long overdue for another mixed vocaloid event. Secondly, we're going to get exclusively event stories for the next five or six monthish, I think they might just give the missing Vocaloid a hairstyle so they have free reign during the next five or six limited event stories to use whatever vocaloid they want.

Each Vocaloid is missing one hairstyle for a specific unit, MMJ Miku, VBS Luka, VBS Rin, N25 Len, WxS Meiko, and N25 Kaito do not have limited hairstyles. And I think they just want to get it over with so they can use any vocaloid for the lim events later on. Plus it's a good chance to get a unit boost for World Link if you don't have one.

Obviosuly, MMJ Miku and WxS Meiko are going to get cards if this were to happen. Miku might have more hairstyles than anyone but it's Miku, and it's also due to the Movie Cards and that one random hairstyle you could get from Gacha for some reason, so I think it's safe to say that she'll still get a card.

Between VBS Luka and VBS Rin I think Luka will get the lim card, cause Rin literally just got a Lim card in the last Lim event and I don't see Colopale giving her one back to back, she isn't Kohane after all.

Between N25 Len and N25 Kaito, I'm sure most of you are thinking Len cause Kaito has been getting so much love, while Len hasn't really done much in the 5th rotation, but I think N25 Kaito makes more sense for the Lim. I think they're going to use Len for Mafuyu6, which could be a Lim, since that event will probably be about Mafuyu and Mafumom and I feel like they're more likely to use Len for that even since he represents child Mafuyu or something like that. So N25 Kaito is my answer.

So the four stars will probably be: MMJ Miku, WxS Meiko, VBS Luka, and N25 Kaito.

All of L/N vocaloids have lim hairstyles already (we know colopales favorite), so it'll probably be L/N Rin as the three or two star (in spite of the fact she got a lim recently) because L/N Len has already travelled the SEKAI and taken part in a vocaloid mixed event, I don't think WxS Len has done anything recently so he might be there too.

That is if Lim events are seen as the last event of the month.

Rui5

Rui5 confuses me, because the only time it could happen without a back to back WxS event is this month. We're getting VBS WL on April and WxS WL on May, and the only characters left for the fift rotation is Shiho, Honami, and Rui.

Whenever I try to envision when Rui5 will happen nothing works. Let's assume that Bloomfest will be a mixed event.

Bloomfest -> VBS WL -> Focus 1 -> Focus 2 -> WxS WL

Focus 1 being a Perm event while Focus 2 is a Lim event.

Rui5 isn't going to be Focus 2 obviosuly, cause that would just put it back to back with WxS WL which wouldn't work. It could be in Focus 1 cause Colopale gave Minori a lim only two events after the first MMJ WL and Haruka5 did only have two event between it and MMJ WL. I feel like only one event in between is stretching it, but it's definitely possible.

But colopale always makes sure that every unit has gotten an event before restarting the rotation, and I don't think they'll just skip WxS and suddenly restart. Rui5 has to happen at some point next month and it being Bloomfest just makes the most sense to me (This only works if Lim events are seen as the first event of a month).

There are many issues with this, mainly the fact that it's more likely that Lim events are seen the final event of the month, not the first. Also the fact that Tsukasa and Nene got cards recently, though Nene's was only a three star. Colopale's card distribution has been a lot wackier since WL though...

Whatever we'll find out tomorrow.

Bloomfest

Now that the event had (kind of) been decided all that's left is the two characters who are getting Bloomfest cards.

We can eliminate everyone who has gotten one already. We can also probably eliminate all of VBS because they're definitely not getting Bloomfest cards right before their WL.

I'll eliminate Kanade, Ena, and Mafuyu since they're not getting back to back four stars. I want to say no to Tsukasa, Airi and Mizuki, but Minori and Tsukasa did get their Colorfes cards even though they had gotten four stars already that month, though there was an event between them and at that point there were limited choices regarding the characters who needed a Colorfes card. I'll keep them on for now, but unlikely.

We're getting rid of Saki and Emu, I do not think there had been an event where a character got a lim hairstyle in back to back months, there's at least been one lim event buffer. And lastly, no Airi or Shizuku, cause everyone else has 6-7 lim hairs while Airi and Shizuku already have 8 and I think they're gonna get everyone to seven first befor someone get their ninth (Miku does have 9 but she's a special case). We can also scratch Miku out cause they're definitely saving her bloomfest for the fifth anniversary.

That leavse us with Luka, Len, Kaito, Ichika, Honami, Shiho, Minori, Tsukasa, Nene, Mizuki.

We're left with 10 characters that could possibly get a Bloomfest card.

No Leo/need character has gotten a Bloomfest yet, so there's definitely going to be one of them there.

If the prediction for Rui5 is right, I think they just might abritrarily pair up a L/n member with a vocaloid.

If my prediction for Vocaloid mixed event is right, that just makes this a lot harder. The two characters who are paired up for Bloomfest should have some sort of relationship, like how An and Haruka are childhood friends (or that could be just a coincidence and I'm looking too deep into this). Or they just randomly pair up a character with a vocaloid (I do not associate Kanade with Meiko or Rui with Rin, feels like Rui and Mizuki should have gotten their Bloomfest together, whilr Kanade could have been with Honami).

None of these characters have that much of a connection in my mind, and I can't use a vocaloid since I've used them all in this event. Weirdly enough I think the best option is Shiho and Minori, they have a couple events together, they're prettt good friends, and one of Minori's events Shiho and Kohane played a very important role. I think it could work.

So those are my predictions, I'll probably be very wrong and the reveal tomorrow will probably show that it's a mixed event featuring Rui, Shiho, and Luka or something like that, but whatever it was fun.

TLDR

Two possible predictions:

1. Vocaloid mixed event

Four Star: MMJ Miku, VBS Luka, WxS Meiko, N25 Kaito

Bloomes: Shiho and Minori

2. Rui5 with L/N + Random Vocaloid Bloomfes

[jaydenism]

been thinking about this bug a lot recently...

i want a big kanade arc pls pls pls 🙏 its her turn to go through the horrors ♡

long kanade ramble ahead!!

i think that savior complex of hers is gonna send her crashing down. hard.

we haven't gotten any huge kanade focus events yet, or anything that really progresses her story or builds her character in a significant way, but im really looking forward to see what they have in store for her character arc. im hoping kana5 will stir the pot a bit and get the plot moving.

i feel like overall shes been really mysterious and strangely without much going on, and at first i thought she was a little boring even... but i think that's by design. she doesn't open up about herself much, and generally appears to be pretty put together, maybe aside from her poor self-care. she doesn't talk about many of her own problems, because she doesn't want to have the others worry for her, when her problems are "insignificant" compared to the others, as she says. i think the lack of progression in her story also fools the audience into believing she has her shit together. ena has had her fair share of struggles. mafuyu had her big arc, but shes also been trying to find herself since the beginning. mizuki just went through hell and finally fell apart after the long-lasting growing tension in her story. but kanade? she's been stagnant. unchanging. it makes it easy for her to be overlooked. but that's exactly what she wants-- to not weigh the others down, and to be their support. but she can't keep that up forever. so yes, i admit i wasn't super interested in her character before, but I've now realized that's because they've hardly even started her story yet. as one of my oomfs said, she was always going to be the last wall to fall.

when reading the story at first, kanade has a lot of warning signs you might glance over. ive only recently started to see them more, like just in passing comments here and there that are REALLY concerning and unhealthy. i mean the most obvious sign is that she barely gives herself time to eat or sleep of course, but the more you pay attention to the subtle things, the more apparent it becomes that she's got some serious shit she needs to unpack, or she may just end up crumpling under the weight of it all. i think her undoing has the potential to be huge. catastrophic even. i really wonder what the writers are planning for her, but all this waiting leads me to believe they could have something big planned. like okay, looking back to the card i drew from, the bloomfes kanade card, shes got some wild shit going on... there is nothing normal about that !!!

i also posted abt this on bluesky, but reiterating it here, i felt like her newest card for her mixed focus event kinda seemed like foreshadowing... specifically because of the niigo colored star charms. mizuki and ena's charms are together, facing each other (yippeeeee), but mafuyu's charm faces kanade's, who's charm is not facing hers. mizuenas charms also seem to glow in the light, while kanamafus dont reflect as much light. could just be coincidence, but i know they love hinting and foreshadowing with card details like this. and overall, kanade's expression is unreadable, like a still, empty doll. the card has a bit of a melancholic feel, to me at least. im not sure how soon the next niigo event will be, but it's gotta be a kanade focus, unless they pull a saki. i dont think its the biggest leap to suggest this could be some foreshadowing for the next event.

but anyway, i think kana5 will start building up the tension at least, maybe entering a kanade arc even. i need to see her snap pls pls pls pls pls

if you read all that,,, wow thanks, u get a star ☆ :)) also lemme know ur thoughts and if im off base about anything

[essayist-unexpectedly]

hi! how you doing? you told me you would be more specific if i put an ask but you seemed busy so i didn't want to rush you smh? well here it is anyway take your time

do you think hiiragi liked yuki ?

okay uh put like that it sounds a bit easy but i'm really confused about this part of the story because when i read given for the first time, hiiragi made clear that he didn't like yuki this way and i went like "okay whatever shizu was wrong and hiiragi was only admirative of yuki it's okay" BUT.... by re-reading i've obviously learnt that you can't trust hiiragi whenever he says something because even he is unconsciously lying to himself. and the way he's convincing himself that shizu is his only love interest since forever is quite conflicting... it feels like he doesn't want to admit that shizu is right. he can't accept the fact that he had a crush on his friend's lover, or that he loved someone else than shizu even though he had apparently always wanted the perfect romance with him. shizu's revelation is crushing his feelings and offending him. he even confesses to prove him that he's wrong. but saying "i like you" is not a real proof? and that's what shizu reproaches to him?

so yeah, i first thought that shizu was wrong. but when you get into shizu's character a bit more, he's absolutely not the type to get wrong about people's feelings. usually when you're the quiet type it means you have more time to pay attention to the others' feelings. he spent so much time with both yuki and hiiragi, and from an external point of view anyone could clearly tell either there was love involved between the two or not. shizu already showed that he could see ritsuka's inner conflicts, mafuyu's hesitation, and even hiiragi's feeling of loneliness after yuki's death. it's crazy how he can read people, so how could he be wrong on hiiragi's feelings? just because of jealousy deceiving him? i don't know it doesn't match to me...

BUUUUUT at the same time (the reason why i want to hear about your opinion), hiiragi thinks about it thoroughly and figures that the answer he was looking for was simply admiration of yuki's love to mafuyu. like he just wanted to have that with shizu. but if it was really the case, why realising it only after his death? because he listened to umi e completed? really? why didn't he understand his feelings for shizu when yuki was still here? even though they had always been stuck together? hiiragi was clearly blinded by yuki back then. it's even an obsession that kept him from seeing shizu's love (which was obvious since long enough according to mafuyu) SO I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE because this moment hiiragi is kind of depressed, it seems like he's making up arguments to prove himself again that shizu has always been the only one. and i get him, it would be tough to admit that you loved your friend's ex, and that the one you love now isn't the one you've always wanted to be with even if you know him since forever (the most unclear sentence i'm sorry lololol)

AND another thing that i've just thought about, but it'd almost feel devious from hiiragi? maybe him liking yuki in the past would explain why he had never talked about mafuyu and yuki's relationship. maybe he didn't make it to real jealousy but he clearly didn't do anything about that, not even supporting them, even though he's someone pretty open about what he thinks of others. he immediately gave his opinion about mafuyu and ritsuka's relationship but didn't have one on mafuyu and yuki's? could it be because he simply couldn't lie to them by showing support? or by claiming he's against their relationship? even he didn't know how he felt but maybe it's true that shizu had understood it from the beginning?

i leave you with my 2am inner-conflicts about given again good luck girl

first and foremost, this has taken me so long - my bad, I had what I'm nicknaming a hell-week of assignments and midterms.

I also want to say thanks for this ask, every part of this was so fun to write because Hiiragi is such an interesting character! I do want to preface though and say I suck at romance - do not let me other essays trick you, so I apologize if anything doesn't make sense, it's because of my own lack of understanding on romance. that being said, I do think I did decent at least on putting Hiiragi's possible feelings into some sort of a light - probably a dramatic red spotlight.

also I wrote this super late, if anything doesn't make sense I was running on 3 hours of sleep and stress, so please ask for clarifications when needed!

anyways, now onto Hiiragi! (with appearances of others)

so in terms of Hiiragi having a crush on Yuki - yes but also no. I believe that he had one, but it was never something big enough that he realized it. in fact, I think that Shizusumi would be the only one to pick up on it - and that's for a reason I'll get into.

I think that he idolized him deeply, admired him in a way that was more than friendship but also not quite love. There was a thin line that Hiiragi would walk between the types of love, but he always stayed platonic in the end. he was always thinking of Yuki in the highest way that one could, and he loved him fully. still, I don't think he ever wanted a relationship with him, I don't think he ever had a crush that was fully developed - it was minuscule at most.

another thing is, he knew about Mafuyu and Yuki's dynamic, which I think would help him to not realize his own feelings even more. I do believe Hiiragi is a complete hopeless-romantic archetype, so I can see him believing in soulmates. Hiiragi is the one who really mentions how Yuki and Mafuyu's personalities grew to compliment each other and how their dynamic was a natural shift, something that I believe he felt like he couldn't question. I think that Hiiragi would think of the two as soulmates in a way, perfect halves meant for each other. with this, Hiiragi would likely then shove down and not realize - really compartmentalize - any possible attraction to Yuki. he wouldn't acknowledge it because he saw them as the standard.

so that's the basic on whether or not I think Hiiragi had a crush on Yuki. he toed the line, leaning towards idolization with a petite cute little crush that he would never actually realize. I think that would be in part because he's a hopeless romantic who saw Yuki as someone who already had his soulmate.

now as for Shizusumi. he is incredible at reading people, but I am willing to suggest that his feelings around Hiiragi would be able to skew his ability to read him. I believe there's a high probability of projection because of jealousy.

I believe that Shizusumi picked up on the tiny crush that Hiiragi had and then proceeded to exaggerate it. Hiiragi is his first friend and the first person who he'd ever had a crush on. in a healthier way than Mafuyu and Yuki, Hiiragi is Shizusumi's person since childhood. in order to defend himself from any sort of possible rejection, it's possible that Shizusumi decided to focus on the idea of Hiiragi having a crush on Yuki, ignoring how in reality it was barely there, so much so that Hiiragi himself didn't know about it.

in the end, when Shizusumi confronts Hiiragi about his feelings, I think him bringing up Hiiragi's own possible feelings for Yuki is still a defence mechanism. it's a way for him to explain why Hiiragi would reject him. he projects his feelings for someone he considers his life onto Hiiragi, who held Yuki on a pedestal as well. Shizusumi believing that Hiiragi has a crush on Yuki is his way of defending himself for the possibility that Hiiragi wouldn't return his own feelings.

I think that this also means that Shizusumi cannot read Hiiragi as well, not in terms of romance.

(also, Hiiragi's mood shifts are on the high end, the man scores high in neuroticism, I promise. I think that Hiiragi would be hard for anyone to read, including Shizusumi. I don't mean this in a bad either, I just think that Hiiragi's a very expressive person.)

now, onto the point of Hiiragi on Yuki and Mafuyu. I've said it before and I will say it a million times more, even if I'm screaming into a void - Hiiragi looked at those two with rose tinted glasses, both idolizing and romanticizing their relationship.

Hiiragi by no means had a healthy view on the Yuki/Mafuyu dynamic. he saw them as the ideal relationship - childhood friends to lovers, hero/damsel, quiet + loud dynamic. he saw them as soulmates (which I mentioned before, I don't think he would ever really realize his feelings because of that, he would just be admiring of that dynamic and therefore think 'how could they love someone else when they're perfect?').

but this view absolutely blinded him. he was so totally not able to see the flaws within their toxic codependence. so, Hiiragi kind of being like 'hey, I super idolized that relationship, that's probably why Shizusumi thinks I had a crush' ain't the wildest thing. I also do believe that those can be confused - him wanting their relationship versus him wanting someone in the relationship.

I do think that Hiiragi solely brushing it up to this is inaccurate, I think he was in denial about anything else being the truth. he probably doesn't want to be that person who's in love with his dead best friend who was fully enamoured with his alive childhood best friend. it would be a weird situation, and I can't blame him if that was part of the denial.

overall - this section is me saying that Hiiragi may have brushed off the small feelings he had as him idolizing the relationship, but overall it's not too wrong for him to say that as it's very true.

(I would not be surprised if him romanticizing Yuki and Mafuyu's relationship is also part of why Shizusumi thought he had a crush. he mistook the romanticization to be actual, deep romantic feelings. I just think that the projection argument is better and that this fits better down here as I just thought of it.)

as for Hiiragi possibly not being outwardly supportive because of his feelings? I think he's grown bolder. not as a person, the audacity has always existed, but specifically around Mafuyu. I also think he's grown more protective.

Mafuyu and Hiiragi, while childhood friends, kind of had an interesting dynamic. Mafuyu was, in a way, very much Yuki's. Mafuyu was introduced through Yuki when younger and he was always at Yuki's side, complimenting Yuki's personality, keeping comfortable with Yuki. while Hiiragi tried to get close, there was always a gap between them that could be bridged, the gap was Yuki. as dark as it sounds, Yuki's death created a bridge to let them really be around each other.

I think that Hiiragi is more open about his feelings around Mafuyu and Uenoyama because of there no longer being someone connecting them, instead they're able to actually communicate.

another reason would be how I keep bringing up the idea of him thinking of Yuki and Mafuyu as soulmates. who could criticize soulmates, meant to be together? he couldn't, he wants his own soulmate to hold like that. his own other half like they appeared to be. he couldn't see a flaw to speak out against and their relationship developed naturally to him, so when would he comment on them? to compare this with Uenoyama and Mafuyu, they don't have that prestablished soulmate dynamic to Hiiragi, they formed later and so he was more able to speak up, speak his mind on their relationship. one of the key ways this is seen is how he says that the Mafuyu and Yuki fight was 'small' and over 'something pointless', whereas he is more than willing to tease Uenoyama and Mafuyu over their arguments.

this is the main focus of the essay I have planned - how Hiiragi views the relationships between Yuki/Mafuyu versus Uenoyama/Mafuyu and how that affects his relationship with Mafuyu and his partners. that's why I was like - if you want something more specific on Hiiragi and Yuki, ask me that outright because otherwise I may not get exactly what you want.

thank you so much for this ask, I do hope that I managed to shed some lights on a way to think of this. the whole messy mystery behind Hiiragi and his feelings. I can never be confident when I analyze him, and I know that this is probably kind of confusing because I'm saying that he both did and didn't having feelings, but I am also really bad at even understanding romance, so that's probably why.

I think that Hiiragi may have had very minor feelings, that Shizusumi picked up on those feelings but exaggerated them as a defence mechanism (aka projection), and I think he didn't comment on Mafuyu and Yuki because he not only romanticized them but also because he was kind of not close enough with Mafuyu the same way that he was now.

again, sorry this took so long to get back to you on, I should be around more often with random mini things - as I do want to start to do mini analysis pieces that aren't massive even when informal like this is haha

(also, writing this has also lead me to conclude I straight up might do an essay on the quartet because yeah, they're really complicated to think about in terms of dynamics. it's a great group, they're close, but there's still holes within them and their bonds. but that would be after the Hiiragi essay which is my next one after I'm done one for a completely different fandom. my Given Essays will probably return late November to early December, because I've grown to be a bit more obsessive in my writing. but thanks for the new topic idea)

[gaiaxygang]

Blorbos From My Games: An Introduction

So you may have seen me talking about EnaMafu from Project Sekai. What the hell is an EnaMafu and why do they remind June Gaiaxygang of seemingly every PerthChimon pair in existence? Since my circle on Tumblr is majority Thai BL fans (unlike Twitter) this felt like a good time to make another Big EnaMafu Post wehehehhehe

Project Sekai: Colourful Stage

First off, what is Project Sekai (PRSK)? Project Sekai: Colourful Stage ft. Hatsune Miku is a Japanese mobile rhythm game launched in September 2020 featuring a cast of 20 original characters and of course, Hatsune Miku and her Vocaloid friends. It features rhythm gameplay (obviously) as well as 5 main stories, and ongoing event stories.

We're currently at 3 years of service, and the characters have been aged up by a year! Because I don't read (I HAVE A BAD ATTENTION SPAN) I'll only cover what is neccessary for Ena and Mafuyu, but their stories are heavily linked to every other cast member, especially their unit.

In PRSK, several music-loving teenagers notice an 'Untitled' music file on their devices. Clicking on it transports them to another world, 'SEKAI', where they meet Hatsune Miku. Miku encourages them to pursue their dreams and helps them overcome fears and soar as musicians.

25ji, Nightcord de.

One of 5 units in PRSK is 25ji, Nightcord de. (aka Nightcord at 25 or Niigo!). They're an online music circle who make songs anonymously, communicating via messaging service Nightcord at 25:00, or 1 AM from roughly 2 years before the start of the story.

This unit consists of songwriter Yoisaki Kanade, lyricist Asahina Mafuyu, artist Shinonome Ena, and MV maker Akiyama Mizuki. The 2 I will focus on are Mafuyu and Ena, though I'll be making references to the others (and occasionally characters outside of their unit).

Kanade has loved music since she was young. One day, she writes a song for her father that wins a competition. This causes her father to later overwork himself, unable to live up to Kanade's composition, falling into a coma.

Kanade, blaming herself for this, sets out to write a 'song that can save people'. She posts music online under the alias K, where she eventually meets honour student Mafuyu, going by Yuki. Touched by Kanade's songs, Mafuyu wants to write lyrics alongside her. Soon, they are joined by aspiring artist Ena and social outcast Mizuki.

The 4 of them continue unit activities as usual, Mafuyu offline, until one day a file named 'Untitled' appears on Kanade's computer, together with a white-haired Hatsune Miku that urges her to 'find that girl, before it's too late'. Clicking on 'Untitled', the 3 are transported into an empty 'SEKAI', where the 4 meet for the first time.

Asahina Mafuyu

Asahina Mafuyu is the lyricist of Niigo, who goes by K online. Although she has a friendly exterior, she has long lost sight of herself under the weight of others' expectations.

Throughout her life, Mafuyu has always been pressured to be a perfect 'good kid' by her parents, especially her controlling mother who wants her to be a doctor rather than a nurse, which Mafuyu wanted to be when she was young. Mafuyu strives to meet these expectations, getting perfect grades and even becoming the class president in her second year of high school, and regularly participating in the archery club.

At some point, Mafuyu started to realise that her true 'self' had been lost. For years, she had changed herself over and over to fit into the 'good kid' mold to meet expectations of everyone around her. Unable to feel anything or have preferences of her own, she started wanting to disappear.

Upon hearing Kanade's song, she felt something stirring in her chest. This prompted her to reach out to K, eventually forming a music circle with her. She also writes her own songs under the pseudonym OWN, publishing them and gaining enough views to match Niigo's numbers on her own.

Mafuyu despises her natural talent. It has never been something she has wanted, and has always caused her pain as it led to people expecting more of her over time. She searches for something, anything that will save her to no avail, and her feelings manifest in the form of the Empty SEKAI, a world with nothing.

Shinonome Ena

Shinonome Ena is the artist of Niigo, drawing their thumbnail and MV art. The daughter of a renowned artist, Ena has strived to create art loved by many, often to little success.

Ever since young, Ena has loved art. She looks up to her father, Shinei, a well-known artist. She attended an art class and intended to apply to a high school with a specialised art course.

However, once Ena confides in Shinei about wanting to pursue art as more than a hobby, she is quickly shot down. Shinei tells her that she has no talent and cannot succeed in the world of art. The next day, when she attends her art class, her teacher Yukihira tells her that she won't be able to make it as an artist because she draws for attention from others rather than a love for art. This leads Ena to believe her art is worthless, but at the same time strengthens her resolve to draw and prove everyone wrong.

Ena was touched by Kanade's song. After hearing it, she drew illustrations based off the music. This prompted Mizuki to use her artworks for a fanmade music video of the song, causing Kanade and Mafuyu to reach out to them, officially forming Niigo.

Ena craves acknowledgement and respect. She has always felt inferior to others around her, especially those that she considered 'talented'. These feelings cause her to start to want to disappear, similar to Mafuyu. She wants to try hard, yet her efforts rarely bear fruit and she starts to wonder if it's worth trying at all. To fill the void in her heart, she posts selfies on social media, only to be disappointed when her personal account gets more interaction than her art account.

The Story: EnaMafu Cut

In main story, after finding out about Mafuyu's emptiness, her want to disappear and her activities as OWN, Ena is furious. She doesn't understand why someone like Mafuyu, with talent and recognition would be suffering, as those are things Ena has desired for a very, very long time. She is taken aback when Mafuyu points that Ena, too, wants to disappear and hates that of all people, it's Mafuyu that understands her pain.

Later in main story, Ena yells at Mafuyu, making her true feelings known. Deep down, she loves Mafuyu's music, her lyrics and screams and Mafuyu to not disappear because she has to keep creating on this earth, suffering with everyone who doesn't have the talent she does. Although this is honestly something you should never tell someone on the verge of suicide, it's something Mafuyu needs. Ena's bluntness, together with Kanade's promise to save Mafuyu, is enough to convince her to return to the real world and continue making songs with Niigo.

In the next event story, Imprisoned Marionette, we find out more about Mafuyu's relationship with her mom. Mafuyu's mom (I will call her ASHN Mama because she is unnamed) is controlling as well as verbally abusive, wanting Mafuyu to be nothing short of what she envisions. This makes Mafuyu feel like a puppet in a cage, dancing in her mother's palm. This is where, in my opinion, Ena starts to understand Mafuyu more. She sees for herself why Mafuyu is the way she is, even if she doesn't know what to do with these feelings in her heart, she wants to try to help.

The next event story is Ena's. In Unsatisfied Pale Colour, Ena enters an art contest against Shinei's suggestion. She wants to win it and prove Shinei wrong, but ends up proving him right in a way when she fails to win a single award. This, together with comments that suggest viewers of Niigo songs don't care about Ena's art on its own, lead Ena to start to consider giving up on art entirely.

Ena enters the SEKAI, starting to understand why Mafuyu came to it when she wanted to disappear. It's comfortable and silent, with nothing to disturb her or remind her of things that hurt. When she is found by Niigo, she confesses that she doesn't want to give up on art, but sees no reason to continue because her efforts will never amount to anything.

When Kanade and Mizuki reassure Ena of the importance of her art to Niigo, the blunt Mafuyu tells her something else. She tells Ena that in her eyes, she doesn't have a reason to give up on art. If she wants to be acknowledged by the public and by Shinei, she has no reason to stop drawing now. Niigo has to continue making songs as a unit anyways, so what's the point in quitting?

This. This is such a big moment to me. Although Ena needs reassurance, sometimes it isn't quite enough. And just like how Ena's blunt words got through to Mafuyu in main story, Mafuyu's honest thoughts get to Ena, too. Niigo give Ena support that she's never truly received, causing Ena to become more open about her feelings and concern for others, which is crucial in later parts of the story.

(dangerous romance folks. this is why i say ep 3 is the pale colour of drts. so much of it parallels kanghan's own arc and revelations in the end of ep 3)

As the story continues, EnaMafu takes a backseat. As Mafuyu discovers more about herself, her trauma and starts to feel something like warmth again because of Kanade in Mirage of Lights, Ena is also becoming kinder and softening up to her unitmates. She shows concern for Mizuki, who she notices is distancing herself from Niigo. This is shown best in My Footsteps, Your Destination, where Ena tells Mizuki she'll keep waiting for Mizuki to confide in her. (happy 2 irl years since, btw. no progress has been made!)

Niigo is slowly realising that ASHN Mama is the cause of most of Mafuyu's pain. This becomes more apparent as Mafuyu skips mock exams to spend time with Niigo and her grades in class start dropping, resulting in ASHN Mama trying to isolate Mafuyu further.. After discovering traces of Niigo on Mafuyu's laptop, ASHN Mama suspects there is a music-loving classmate encouraging Mafuyu to do music, distracting her from her studies.

Niigo is, of course, trying their best to support Mafuyu throughout this. It is Ena who takes the first step, in a way, on a rainy day after her art class.

The Big EnaMafu Event

Sorry. Header not necessary but it is my favourite PRSK event of ALL TIME. I was top 3000 I can prove this. Someday, This Wish Will Transcend The Morning Sky is an event that focuses on Ena and Mafuyu. The event title even references Mafuyu's surname (asa, meaning morning in this context)!

In this event, Ena is heading home from her art class (which she has since started attending again, despite quitting after what Yukihira said to her in middle school) when she runs into Mafuyu. It's starting to rain, yet Mafuyu is making no move to get out of the rain. Mafuyu is internally contemplating whether she should go back home immediately or stay outside longer, knowing that there's something about her home that makes her feel uncomfortable.

Ena, noticing this, invites Mafuyu to the Shinonome household. Shinei is currently out on a work trip, so it's only SNNM Mama (again, unnamed) and her younger brother Akito (from another unit, Vivid Bad Squad) at home.

Once they're in Ena's room, they call ASHN Mama, requesting for Mafuyu to stay over. ASHN Mama doesn't know Ena is one of Mafuyu's music friends, of course, but she doesn't want anything distracting Mafuyu from her studies. In response, Ena does the one thing she despises. She uses her father's name, saying that she is the daughter of artist Shinonome Shinei, who wants to draw Mafuyu for a project while Mafuyu helps her study. This works, and although Ena doesn't like it, she's glad Mafuyu is safe.

At dinner, Mafuyu starts to notice something different about the Shinonomes.

The Shinonomes aren't a perfect family, even without Shinei present. The siblings bicker, and SNNM Mama, while loving, sometimes fails to understand Ena (she is implied to have absolutely no idea about Shinei and Ena's fight but that's another topic). But it's warm. Mafuyu can feel the warmth of their family, despite their flaws, so different from her own. Asahina family dinners were always cold, despite them seeming like a perfect, quiet family on the surface.

Ena is the only one that can make Mafuyu realise this. Kanade lives alone as her mother passed when she was young, and her father is in a coma. Mizuki's parents and older sister work overseas, so Mizuki also lives alone. Ena is the only one who is able to show Mafuyu what a warm, somewhat normal family is like.

After dinner, the 2 return to Ena's room. Ena and Mafuyu have a heart-to-heart about what Mafuyu's feelings towards her mother. When Mafuyu expresses how she's afraid of letting down her mother, Ena starts to understand. Ena herself had similar feelings about Shinei, but while Mafuyu has suppressed her true self out of fear, Ena rebels and strives to continue doing what she loves.

This conversation also gets Ena to reflect on her own relationship with Shinei, realising that although their relationship is pretty much unsalvagable, she respects him as an artist and acknowledges that he didn't have bad intentions. Akito had previously talked to Shinei and told Ena that Shinei just didn't want to see Ena fail like several of his artist friends. Ena doesn't forgive him for this, continuing to avoid him as best as she can despite coming to an understanding.

Later at 1 AM, the two log on to Nightcord for their Niigo meeting. As Mafuyu starts to work on lyrics, Ena notices how focused she is. Although Mafuyu claims to have no dreams or aspirations of her own, her expression while she writes tells Ena something else. Seeing this, Ena gains inspiration for her art project and starts to draw.

Silently, Ena prays. Seeing how Mafuyu is like doing what she loves, Ena wishes that someday, Mafuyu will break out of her shell. That one day, Mafuyu will be free of her mother's chains, doing what she loves, no longer suppressing herself to make others happy.

This... this is an incredible event. It reflects EnaMafu's development, especially Ena's. From not being able to understand eachother (something that Marionette's event song, Jackpot Sad Girl highlights) to empathy and concern and even love (of the platonic type! or romantic idk up to you). It highlights why Ena and Mafuyu are important in eachother's lives, and how they have a role no one else can fill.

And that's pretty much all the major EnaMafu stories! Since then, Mafuyu has gotten closer and closer to finally escaping her mother. Some key events are Immiscible Discord, where Kanade reveals herself as Mafuyu's music friend and swears to ASHN Mama that she will never leave Mafuyu's side after realising there is nothing like love in her heart for Mafuyu. Another one is Our Escape for Survival, where Mizuki tells Mafuyu that sometimes, running away from your problems is okay as long as you face them someday.

(i... i really like mafuyu's card in this event. 1. RAIN MOTIF! not posting mizuki's but she's giving mafuyu an umbrella and getting drenched herself in it!!!!!! 2. holy hell that hairstyle and the piercings. i need it to come home during the rerun or i WILL die)

This all culminates in Niigo's final event before 3rd Anniversary, Saying Goodbye to My Persona. Here, Mafuyu finally cuts the strings binding her and admits her true feelings to her mother.

ASHN Mama, of course, rejects this. She is unable to comprehend that Mafuyu has been suffering all this time. She throws Mafuyu's phone into the fish tank and in response, Mafuyu runs out into the rain (!). Niigo search for her, and eventually it is Kanade who finds her. They hug, sharing in eachother's warmth in spite of the cold rain.

And that's where we're at with Niigo! Their next event is in like under a week so we WILL find out where their story goes soon... Ena and Mafuyu are now 3rd years, and Mafuyu is living with Kanade!

Why Ship EnaMafu?

I have been an EnaMafu fanatic since Pale Colour (my PRSK account proves it but I do not currently have screenshots...). They're opposites, yet they complement eachother so well. They're able to relate because they've both been mistreated by their parents, yet unable to comprehend because they reacted so differently to it. Mafuyu hiding away parts of herself and Ena becoming bolder, trying to rebel even if it hurts her.

They're able to see through eachother, and their bluntness (Ena due to her personality, and Mafuyu because she is unable to understand why her words might hurt) is something so unique to Ena And Mafuyu. They've become key parts of eachothers' lives, despite their initial conflict. Although Mafuyu has difficulty showing it (writing issues lol) Ena like all members of Niigo is someone she cares deeply about. And Ena, who has always been stubbornly supporting Niigo, slowly starts to open her heart up to someone she used to hate.

They also have 3 cover songs that highlight their similarities. Hello/How are you, about a lonely girl who just wants her voice to be heard (this is the one i think is kanghansailom). Hurting for a very hurtful pain, a song about, well... pain (i am not a vocaloid expert sorry). And my personal favourite, Love me love me love me which can be interpreted in a number of ways but is mainly about a girl crying out, desperate to be loved.

All of this drives me Up The Wall. I love their dynamic and development over the 3 years I've known them. I may be biased (I own like $100 SGD of Ena merch) but I really, really love EnaMafu!!!

So Why Does This Remind Me Of BL?

(this one is mainly for my bl mutuals you can skip this if you want)

The obvious answer is that I am unwell and like making my interests about eachother.

A slightly more serious answer would be that many have compared EnaMafu's dynamic and tropes to yaoi. Contrary to popular belief I do not read or watch yaoi so I cannot confirm this. But it sounds about right!

The actual answer is that it's because some BL characters have arcs that are similar to this. As I have pointed out many many times, Ena reminds me a LOT of Kanghan (Dangerous Romance). From the dad problems to how they've changed because of Mafuyu and Sailom (on Ena's side it's a group effort! But come on).

They're also very ChopperBen to me in quite a few ways. The obvious one being the parental problems (let's be real here.) but also how to me, ChopperBen have a certain level of... Misunderstanding... between them. They've led different lives and been through different things and have different personalities which is why the Bathroom Fight happens!!! Of course there are more feelings below it but it goes down to their fundamental differences in the end. Which is pretty much early EnaMafu.

(also because i erm. the enamafu fic i wrote from ena's pov is a scrapped ben pov chopperben fic? certain elements of it, not the whole thing lol. i was thinking about how ben likes to play off his very serious wants as jokes and how he can barely speak his honest thoughts, then i went, Wait A Minute. and wrote 500 words. you can read it here)

This is pretty much why my PerthChimon wishlist looks something like,

miserable teenagers (this one is likely knowing GMMTV)

unable to understand eachother for some reason (and its not funny)

burdened by natural talent and fears being untalented (self explanatory)

THANK YOU for reading my absurdly long post. I adore PRSK and EnaMafu and they've been my personality for 3 years and counting (PerthChimon gives them competition). You can listen to Someday, This Wish's event song I Nandesu here!

(and of course thank you @naomi-obsessions for reading and supporting my very unhinged enamafu posting <3_<3)

[nogenderbee]

SO SORRY FOR NOT ASKING QUESTIONS LATELY, EXAMS ARE COMING LIKE MAYBE NEXT WEEK? AND SCHOOL HAS BEEN MESSING UP MY SCHEDULE😭😭 LUCKILY I STILL HAVE TIME LEFT!! >:3

(since i didnt send you more questions, i'll give you two)

Question1: what pjsk character first made you interested?? Like first favorite!!. Second is, what is your first fanfiction you ever wrote?? Do you look back at it and say "damn thats cringe" i do that too when seeing my old posts😭😭

-Daily! Question anon

Don't worry about it!! Like I said, mental health comes first <3 So don't be afraid to focus on school, I figure it has something to do with that and generally private life since you mentioned it before as well!

As for questions... I'm gonna be predictable here but it was An ^^ An was my first pjsk favorite and it just stayed!

But I remember having Mafuyu as my favorite from niigo instead of Ena for a really long time! So that actually changed!

As for fic, YES. It's wattpad story that I wrote... 5 years ago? In short, it was Ayato Aishi (yandere sim) x reader fic and omg ToT

I can't even being myself to read it BUT I STILL GET NOTIFS FROM THAT BOOK

Like I dunno if it's that bad or people just feel nostalgia... Anyway, I'm not admitting to it. There's a reason why I'm not telling name of it and let it stay like that for a little while more-

So don't worry, it's normal to feel your stomach then upside down when you look at your old posts... I think I deleted some if my old worka from Tumblr too honestly- keyword being I think.

[tsudelune]

'' when you're happy , i'm happy too ,,

- ichika hoshino x reader

a/n : this is really random and honestly self-indulgent, but if you didn't know, my favorite is ichika :) this is like a songfic i suppose, but not really. this is inspired by one of my favorite yoasobi songs named haruka, or faraway! it's a beautiful song with such a heartwarming story, so i decided to pose this fic off of that. ichika was chosen because (i like ichika) i feel like this song is pretty similar to the leo/need story. of course there's others that might fit better, but whatever! lyrics here! if you can't tell, i'm heavily biased to leo/need. heavily.

warnings : lengthy, big leo/need story spoilers! this is just me writing the entire leo/need main story with reader included but being biased to ichika. i rambled way too much on this post. so sorry about it :(

style : oneshot (tbh, it's a whole story.)

when you were young, you were afraid of being alone, hating the feeling of being lost. however, that changed quickly.

you wandered aimlessly in the night, losing the trace of your parental figure when you had decided to follow a sound in the night (which resulted in being an ordinary bird). you couldn't lie, you were scared.

when you had finally got out of the alleys, you found yourself following a path that lead you to the park. there were a few young voices like yours. there were four voices from what you could make out-- energetic, mellow, shy, and soft. when you looked up, you didn't just see the four kids up on the jungle gym, but you also saw a shower of stars.

the luminous blanket that encased the moonlight, along with the smiles and the awe of those four kids...you couldn't help but be glad you became lost. that memory became a fresh moment you could live over and over. it was unforgettable.

you never knew it then, but those four kids would become your friends.

out of those four kids, ichika, saki, honami, and shiho, you were close with the first girl. in which you had to admit, she had the most harmonious voice you ever heard in your life. whenever the five of you got together, it would always become a small band session.

thinking back now, you can't help but feel nostalgia overcome you. has it really been that long?

everything had gone downhill in middle school when saki abruptly left due to her health conditions. but now, the once-childhood friends were now in high school. time was nobody's friend.

"...y/n, could you help me with this really quick? sorry to bother you." someone politely asked, interrupting your daydream. it was mafuyu, a senior of yours.

"oh! yeah, i can help you." and that was how the usual day started. helping people, attending class, eating lunch alone, and going home. always.

saki was back at school. to be honest, you didn't react much about it, but still cared. just maybe, you had a small thought that the band might be getting back together. but...

"i promised to eat with my friends...sorry."

"my next class is in another room, so i'm going now."

the same old excuses that were used earlier in the school year. isn't that funny?

"many things have become different..." ichika sighed.

"i guess...since we're in high school, there's things everyone wants to do." saki was still optimistic as usual. you didn't understand how she was.

because you gave up a long time ago. however, you weren't going to opt out of this all just yet.

crazy things happened the last three days. you guys got to meet miku and luka in a SEKAI; which you still couldn't comprehend. you also got to experience a once-in-a-lifetime memory, which was seeing your childhood friends perform that one song you composed years back.

shiho had improved significantly, likely because she was the only one that practiced and remained a bassist. honami and saki was still as good as they were before, but ichika...you couldn't even describe it.

she still had the same soft yet dynamic voice from before. she didn't touch her guitar in a while, but she was still in shape. seeing them perform all together really unlocked a core memory in you.

"still here, y/n?" luka interrupted your thoughts, taking a seat next to you on the classroom floor of the SEKAI.

"i'm just...reminiscing." you turned your head away, unwiling to meet luka's gaze.

"is that so?" luka smiled and put a hand on your shoulder. "you know, you and ichika have the strongest feelings about everybody. not even saki, who is the most energetic."

you glanced at luka, shocked. you? and ichika? but... "how? i decided to stop my wishful thinking a long time ago."

"well, your heart and feelings must be thinking the opposite." luka chuckled and pat your shoulder. "i have a hunch that you really love everyone. you often think about them, don't you?"

you didn't admit it then, but luka was right. your denied wishful thinking was still accepted into your mind.

"so wait; you're telling me that you and saki formed a band, got shiho to join after practicing in the SEKAI, and now you're trying to recruit honami in?"

ichika gave a sheepish smile, confirming your words.

"wow, that's..." you put your hands on ichika's shoulders, with a close-eyed smile. "that's amazing! you've always wanted this, right?"

ichika blushed, shying away from you. "yeah...that's why i wanted to ask you if you wanted to join too."

you removed your hands from ichika's shoulders, staring blankly into her gaze.

"...what?"

"please, join our band. we're going to take it seriously." ichika's black hair became lightly tousled in the spring wind, her eyes determined. "i remember vividly, when we were younger, you composed the song and i wrote the lyrics. the songs we made together...i still remember all of them. so that's why, you have to join!"

i guess that was the day you were bound with her fate.

after saki's decision of leaving honami alone, you lingered in the sekai with miku next to you, humming a tune while lightly strumming the guitar. you were deadset focused on creating a new composition for everyone to play. together.

"miku, do you think they'd remember all those minutes we spent?" you looked down at the blank paper, unable to create ideas for the song.

"hmm? of course they would." miku stopped her singing, focusing her attention on you.

"no, they obviously don't." you crumbled up the paper, squeezing it tightly. "i feel like i'm the only one that holds onto the past. i think too much about it. they've forgotten about it, so i should let go too."

"mm...i don't think so." miku objected, setting aside her guitar. "if you remember your past through happy memories, then that means your memories must be precious to you, right? so, why try to forget them?"

"...right."

just watching them made you remember a lot of things they did when they were younger. those memories made you feel emotional, for sure. you couldn't help but shed a few tears that day and realize how important they are to you. especially her.

the next day, after school, shiho and ichika coincidentally met up in the street.

"i talked to honami. i think i said hurtful words rather than what i wanted to say. it's a nightmare."

"but, i think that's what's amazing about you."

"what? that i act without thinking?"

"no, once you make up your mind, you take action without being shaken up. that's...amazing. because, i was never able to do that."

"what are you saying? whenever there was a fight, you and y/n would play as mediator. sometimes, you didn't even know what was going on." shiho helplessly smiled at the vivid memory. "speaking of y/n, they'd always encourage us after whatever we fought about. saying stupid things like 'shiho, if you play with us one more time, i'll give you the last slice of the apple pie' or 'saki, let's practice this part one more time and we'll impress shiho'...." the reminiscing girl took a big sigh. "i guess i miss those times too."

ichika suddenly had a feeling of uneasiness in her heart. "i have to wonder, what happened to y/n during those two years we were distanced?"

shiho raised her eyebrows, nodding slowly to ichika's words. "...i never thought of that."

"what happened to y/n in those two years?" was all ichika could think about.

"you found your true feeling?"

"yeah...according to miku."

it was after school hours the next day. you and ichika decided to take the time to chat at your house. it was basically a small hangout in your room.

"i felt like i wanted to help with whatever was going on. you, saki and shiho both made efforts to recruit honami back, but i haven't done anything yet. so that's why..." ichika fiddled with her fingers nervously before meeting back with your gaze. "i have a plan to get honami join."

"hmmm, i understand." you reply with a curve of your lips. ichika's expression, however, told more truth than her words. "i'm happy for you, but there's something more than that on your mind.

ichika perked up with shock, then takes a sigh at your words. "it's you, admittedly." the black-haired girl moved closer to you on your bed, putting a hand on your back. "y/n, what happened during those two years when we weren't...as close as we usually were?"

"...eh? ichika, what are you talking about!" you tried to laugh it off, waving your hand back and forth dismissively. "it was a boring 2 years spent without you guys."

ichika obviously didn't believe it. she didn't want to push it, however. "if that's what you say..." ichika removed her hand from your back, and instead reached in for a nervous hug. she put her hand on your head, pushing it gently to her shoulder. "if your not comfortable enough to tell me yet, that's okay. but i want you to know that i've always been here. all those days you might've spent alone-- i'll make it up to you! i'll cheer you on, just like you did for me when we were younger!"

you felt your eyes water at her unwavering resolve for you. you can't tell what made you cry. her entire spiel about what happened those 2 years, or the last few words of it.

you, shiho, and saki were rushing to the rooftop together where honami and ichika was-- reported by miku and luka.

"i'm sorry! i hurt all of you guys by running away, by choosing the path that injured me least..." honami cried, wiping away her tears.

saki shook her head, frowning at the unneeded apology. "no, i'm sorry for not being there during your hard times."

"and i'm sorry that i left you alone for so long, even though i noticed."

"you're all too nice, even though i kept hurting your feelings..."

"of course we'd be nice. we care about you."

when they were busy apologizing back and forth, you stayed to the side with miku and luka, looking at the stars. those oh-so-familiar stars that looked at you the same way back then.

"do you like the way the sky looks, y/n?" luka asked, curious to why you were so invested in the night view.

"they're the same stars that we saw that night." you whispered, raising your hand as if to touch the glowing jewels in the void. "i miss that night. so, so much."

while in your trance, you take a not-so-quick glance at the four girls. they were all hugging and crying. it was a pitiful sight, yet a heartwarming moment. that's how time moves with a tick and a tock.

unknowingly, a tear slipped out of your own eye. yet, you felt your lips curve, and put your hand on your silently beating heart.

"see you tomorrow everyone!"

after watching shiho, saki, and honami go their respective ways, you were planning to leave too. however, a grasp on your wrist stopped you.

"wait! y/n, can we talk? i know it's late and we have school tomorrow..." ichika looks down at the pavement with a red blush on her cheeks.

"huh? oh uh-- yeah. sure." surprised with the turn of events, you wonder what ichika has to say to you so suddenly at this hour.

"i wanted to say thank you...for everything." ichika paused for a moment before continuing. "miku told me that you remember a lot of things from our childhood. i know you might've felt like the only one that remember everything but..."

ichika held both of your hands together, holding them tightly. in a matter of seconds, her words came out in a soft yet loud tone. "there's countless memories of everyone together, or just us alone too. i remember it all too." ichika smiled fondly at you, laughing. "if they don't remember certain parts of our childhood, so be it. that's fine. for me, as long as i remember all of us smiling, i'm happy with that. i guess what i'm trying to say is..."

"my feelings and i say thank you." ichika chuckled, finishing her ramble.

"ichika..." you were at a loss of words. "for me, as long as you're happy is enough for me. because, i'll love you forevermore."

ichika smiles shyly, gently enveloping you in a hug. "...me too."

-

may happiness and the things so dear

stay with you, forever.