freedomsurfco

[mummer]

i literally dont know if im ever going to be able to write again lol.... like im so scared of that

[sanccharine]

04 | potential, promises, and plotting

hogwarts au

pairing: hufflepuff!tzuyu x slytherin!reader genre: fluff, slice of life word count: 5.1k

warnings: none that i can think of :]

summary: whether on the field or during class, you never shied away from trouble. and in your sixth year, trouble seemed to follow you like a shadow, though you couldn’t complain. especially when that series of misfortunes led you to the transfiguration prodigy, chou tzuyu. includes: red velvet's yeri, ateez's yeosang, san, wooyoung and jongho; viviz's sinb; txt's yeonjun; loona's olivia; le sserafim's yunjin; dreamcatcher's gahyeon

status: ongoing a/n: back to post once in a blue moon :D theres quite a few people in this one huh O_O

masterlist | chapter 3 | chapter 5

The Dark Arts assignment felt like a fluke. 

Well, it was a fluke. 

You wouldn’t have gotten the grade that you got without the help of Tzuyu. 

After that assignment, they seemed to keep piling on top. Playing Quidditch seemed to be up for debate again. Though you know somewhere deep in your mind you were playing this year. Still, you couldn’t catch a break from your studies. 

Often, you found yourself in the secluded corner of the library, the place had become yours. If you weren’t hunched up over a textbook there, you were in the Great Hall. Always scribbling away on parchment, writing and rewriting your notes. Transfiguration theory made no sense at all. 

Professor Lee’s words from earlier in the day returned to you. 

She asked you to stay behind after class much like the many times she had before. You readied yourself for a scolding. A lecture about how you could do better, how your grades were slipping, and how you aren’t achieving your full potential. 

You never understood what she saw in you. 

“What are you doing?” Professor Lee asked, her eyes not lifting away from the book in front of her. 

“I don’t understand—”

“I asked what are you doing in my class?” 

Your heart stopped beating. 

“I don’t know, Professor. I'm not sure as well... I don’t know what I’m doing in your class. I don’t know how I passed and I definitely don't know how—” you stopped your rambling. You should’ve put this together sooner. How could you be so stupid? “Did my parents—?”

Finally, Professor Lee looked at you. 

"No." Her gaze was scathing. 

She held your stare. A lifetime seemed to pass. You don’t if you should be relieved or terrified of this revelation. 

It seemed unreal. 

There was no way you were in this class without your parents pulling some—

“You are more than aware of my standards. Especially to enter my N.E.W.Ts class,” Lee straightened as she watched you freeze in real-time. Then her gaze softened, only ever so slightly. “The only reason you are in my class is because of your merit. You have potential.”

What potential is she going on about?

“Nothing else,” Professor Lee paused, her eyes steely as she finished. “And no one else.” 

“I understand,” you didn’t attempt to repeat what you say every year. You really did understand, you couldn’t let her down. You didn't want to let her down. Changes meant the most these next two years. So, you will work hard this year, and unlock whatever potential she sees in you. 

“Now, get out. You’re wasting my class time,” and she was back. 

With a salute, you let in the quiet first years who had lined up outside. You didn’t catch the little boy waving at you. 

The conversation kept playing in your mind. It brought a new sense of motivation you fear you’ve never felt… at least not for anything apart from Quidditch. It also brought up an immense amount of stress. You were playing this year, you were studying hard this year. Will you be able to win the cup again? Will you be able to pass next year? Only weeks passed and already your control was slipping. You hated that feeling with every fibre of your being. 

Every sound in the hall seemed to unnerve you, clawing and climbing its way up your back until you couldn’t even hear your own ragged breathing. Couldn’t notice that you were grinding your teeth, jaw locked and aching. Worst of all, you didn’t realise your grip had pushed the quill in and torn the parchment. A gaping hole where words should be. You were so tightly wound up, all the tension caught in the back of your neck.

Which is why when someone tapped your shoulder, you sneered much like a rabid dog. “What?”

The regret was immediate when you saw familiar glassy eyes staring back. The apology is ready on your lips but... 

What was his name again?

“Minwoo just wanted to say hello. You missed us by the Transfiguration class,” the diligent girl from the feast! What was her name? She was quick to step in front of Minwoo, completely blocking him from your view. That strikes you as odd, you couldn’t place why. “He was wondering about joining Quidditch, we both were… I’m Jooyeon, by the way.”

Busted by an eleven-year-old. This had to be a new low for you. 

“Right, sorry for that. I’ve been so busy with assignments and it just didn't—never mind, that doesn’t matter!” you said sheepishly and pushed aside your parchment and turned to face them. When Minwoo didn’t look up, you sighed. “I’m sorry for snapping at you, Minwoo. I shouldn’t have done that, please forgive me.”

Finally, the boy looked up from behind Jooyeon’s shoulder. Were those tears in his eyes?

“Listen, are you—” you started but then caught yourself. From Jooyeon’s protective stance to Minwoo’s tears, you surmised this wasn’t about you. Something else was at play here. You just didn’t have enough information… yet. You dropped the line of question and put on the best smile you could muster. “What do you want to know about Quidditch?” 

“We want to try out.”

Quidditch season was finally beginning. Eunbi pushed back tryouts in favour of her studies. Though, you knew she was plotting something. Especially with open positions. You don’t know what that meant for you, but you trusted her. 

When you arrived on the field, most of your teammates were already there, geared up and gathering equipment. Eunbi stood to the side, frowning at the piece of parchment in her hand. In front of her were the potential recruits, they were thrumming with anxiety. It was easy to discern what years they were from their little groups and behaviour. 

Minwoo and Jooyeon stood to the far left. Separated even from the other gawking first years who would no doubt be rejected. First years rarely made substitutes, let alone the team. But you understood their enthusiasm, you had been in the same place a few years back. In fact, a large number of second and third years weren’t going to be happy with Eunbi’s decisions either. 

A smile graced your face as you patted your pockets with your free hand to find something. 

“Good to see you two here,” you sidled up to Minwoo and he nearly shot a meter into the air. Why is this kid so jumpy around you? That will have to be amended. You smiled at his friend and said, “Hello Jooyeon.”

“Weird,” you muttered and leaned forward to catch Minwoo’s frog before it could leap away from him. “You’re supposed to eat these, not let them get away.”

Excited wouldn’t be the word you’d use. Minwoo couldn’t seem to look you in the eyes. Even worse, he kept glancing back at the crowd of Slytherins, shaking a bit. 

Sighing, you began, “I understand if you’re nervous, it’s only natural. That’s why I brought you guys something.”

At that, both of them looked up at you, eyes shining. 

“How do we feel about chocolate frogs?” you asked, as you fetched two from your pockets and handed one to each. 

“I saw these on the train,” Minwoo smiled, finally. It relieved you. “Thank you!”

“I want to know who you got, open them, go on!” You folded your arms as their nervousness seemed to dissipate. 

“Headmistress Boa,” Jooyeon said, reading the card while holding the frog in one hand. 

“I got her too!” Minwoo said as he giggled at the frog jumping up his arm. 

“Weird,” you muttered and leaned forward to catch Minwoo’s frog before it could leap away from him. “You’re supposed to eat these, not let them get away.”

“But it’s alive—”

“We’re about to start,” Yeri shouted with a clap. That was your cue to leave. 

“We good?” you raised your fist to Minwoo. 

“Yeah, we’re good,” Minwoo grinned and bumped your fist. “Thanks again for the chocolates.” 

You aimed your fist at Jooyeon and she reciprocated as well. With a proud nod, you sauntered over to your team. 

Yeonjun quickly made his way to your side and bumped his shoulder into yours. Smiling, you glanced around. This team carried you through many wins throughout the last two years. You were a precise, well-oiled machine led by Eunbi. What you lacked, your teammates covered with their strengths. The only missing spot was your Keeper, who graduated last year. 

Plus, next year Eunbi will graduate. Followed right after by you, Yeri, San, and Yeonjun which leaves Olivia to fend alone. The thought was mortifying. You understood why talks of a new captain and tryouts seemed so important. 

Eunbi scanned the crowd in front of her and nodded. “Quidditch is not easy. It’s brutal.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at the familiar start. A spiel you have heard so many times you could probably announce it yourself. 

“Without proper practice and dedication, you’ll be living in the Hospital Wing,” you couldn't help but snicker as you rolled your left wrist. Beside you, Yeonjun grabbed his right shoulder and sighed. Everyone landed in the wing at least once and that was being generous. “Forget positions, they don’t matter. What’s important is flight, speed and endurance.”

Gasps already erupted at Eunbi’s dismissal of the roles in the team. The next part should be fun.

“Five minutes,” Eunbi held up her palm. “That’s how much time I want you flying laps around the field and at the fastest speed you can manage—”

Now, the juniors seemed to pale as the senior students only groaned. This was nothing. They’d endure much worse in a proper game, a grim thought but it was true. 

“—I need you to push yourselves. Those who don’t fly as soon as I say start, who fall behind, and who fail to complete all five minutes will be instantly cut.” Eunbi was merciless. “Line up! First years at the front, and each year following right behind.” 

You smirked at how quickly your juniors fell into lines. Your teammates and senior students strolled up behind them. Olivia was up ahead, glaring holes into other fourth year students. Some sixth years lined up just ahead of you. It was hard not to follow in Olivia’s footsteps and glare holes into a familiar mop of hair. Fortunately, Yeonjun and Yeri’s bickering brought you back to the present. 

Your line consisted of the pair and San. You didn’t have to interject to know that this race would earn you some money. San shook his head as he lowered himself on his Nimbus, already at an advantage. When you glanced at him, his usual easy-going smile was nowhere to be found. 

The second Eunbi yelled the four of you were in the air. It was too easy. 

San was speeding through the crowd of students, deftly avoiding any stragglers and leading the lap. The things you would do to get a hand on that broom of his. You didn’t need to look back to know that some juniors struggled with the initial take-off. Yeonjun soon followed San, quick to catch up with him. Yeri, however, had seemed to completely give up on the bet and joined you, instead. She zig-zagged through the crowd as if it were a leisurely flight and not an ordered task. 

One look at her and you knew what was in her mind. Shaking your head, you steered beneath the crowd. With a grin, you completely flipped yourself around as Yeri mirrored you. You began rotating and increasing your speed. If strings were attached to your brooms, it would look like a helix. This is what happens when you don’t do your regular midnight flights. Eunbi was going to chew you out for this stunt but it meant all the same when you caught Yeri’s laughter against the wind. 

Dizzy, you righted yourself just as someone zoomed past you. 

Olivia. 

She passed Yeonjun and San just as another person flashed by you. They caught up easily to your youngest Chaser, her ponytail just as black as Olivia’s. 

Not having the heart to jostle Olivia when she was determined, you joined your friends. All four of you watched Olivia and her rival keep trying to one-up each other, even though it was futile. They were matched in skill. You assumed it was the fourth year she was glaring at. 

Unsurprisingly, Olivia and the fourth year were the first to land when the five minutes were over. Both of them were panting and shaking, yet still managed to glare daggers at each other. Eunbi squinted at the two of them as you landed easily beside her. 

That was not the case for a lot of students. 

Completing the exercise was one thing but landing afterwards was another task altogether. Some landings were disastrous, the fatigue and nausea couldn’t have helped. And those who did manage to land somewhat decently, instantly crumpled to the ground from vertigo. Eunbi scrutinised them unflinchingly before considering her parchment. 

You searched for Minwoo and Jooyeon only to find them both sitting on the ground. Jooyeon was in much better shape than Minwoo, they landed safely and that was all that mattered. It was hard not to miss the way Hyukwoo stood proudly when you scanned the crowd. He didn’t seem fazed at all. The idea of playing by his side made you nauseous. 

It couldn’t be helped though. 

Your teammates and previous substitutes were called up. Hyukwoo threw a smirk at you and your hands twitched. 

Some new faces were called. Huh Yunjin. That was the name of the fourth year that competed with Olivia.

However, the majority was rejected. Granted, as Eunbi mentioned, some people would be instantly cut and cut they were. 

“That is all,” Eunbi said with no hint of remorse. 

“That’s all? We’re done already?” Someone in the back whined and you bristled. “We just flew around the field, that doesn’t measure our skill. Plus, we had to use these stupid school brooms.”

The silent but agreeing crowd parted for a girl. Possibly a first year, definitely a pureblood. The school broom frayed and splintered, landed with a whimper when she threw it at Eunbi’s feet. The sight was familiar. 

Eunbi only stared at the broom, not saying a word. You were about to speak up when she inhaled deeply. 

“You’re right, the school brooms suck.” The girl’s head perked up to hear the Captain agreeing with her. “Unfortunately for you, that’s not a good enough excuse.”

You couldn’t help but glance at Hyukwoo, only to find he was already staring at you. His expression was unreadable. 

Eunbi called your name, followed by Yeonjun and Yeri. As if controlled by puppet strings, the three of you stepped forward at the same time, heads held high. 

“These three became substitutes in their first year with those ‘stupid’ school brooms.”

“So did Eunbi,” Yeri said with a smirk before you could. Even her smile didn’t reduce the tense atmosphere. 

“It’s not a good enough excuse,” Eunbi repeated. “Try next year with your own broom then.” 

The student scowled, ready to whine but her friends dragged her away. With that, the others began to leave as well. Eunbi began shouting orders but you quickly excused yourself to catch up with Minwoo and Jooyeon. 

“Sorry, you guys didn’t make the team.”

“It wasn’t realistic anyway,” Jooyeon shrugged but Minwoo’s disappointment was clear on his face. He stared at the pureblood girl who was yelling at her friends as she walked out. He then turned to you, disappointment morphed into caution as he said the next four words.

“Are you a pureblood?” 

Jooyeon shot him a look, clearly startled by his question. Every interaction with this kid only seemed to confuse you more. 

“Um, yeah,” there was no better way to put it. 

“So you’re a full wizard?” 

Jooyeon hissed his name and you stood there, perplexed. 

“Full wizard? Minwoo, you’re a wizard too,” you said, indignant at the claim. Then it clicked. “Hold on, did someone say—!”

“Yes, but both your parents are wizards, right?” You couldn’t help but bristle at the mention of your parents. “You’re a full wizard? Both my parents are muggles so I’m a—”

“Listen, that doesn’t matter,” that was a blatant lie but you had to stop him. Jooyeon had the same idea as she nudged his side. Minwoo was unbothered by his friend and unconvinced by you. “At least, not anymore.” 

That wasn’t a lie… but it wasn’t the truth either. 

You had to tackle this delicately.

“You’re here at Hogwarts, yeah?” you asked and waited for an answer. 

“Yes.”

"Did a wand choose you?"

"Yes."

“Can you do magic?”

“Yes.” 

“Then you’re a wizard, simple,” comfort didn’t come easy, you barely believed yourself. There was a strange tension in your voice but it was difficult to ignore the implication of Minwoo’s words. “Minwoo—both of you—if someone is bothering you, you come let me know, alright? Promise me that!” 

For some reason, you guessed who would be putting these thoughts into these kids. Harassing first years had to be a whole new low, even for him. 

When Minwoo didn’t answer, Jooyeon did. “We will, we promise. Thank you!” 

She raised her fist and your lips twitched up at the action. You bumped yours with hers before moving it in front of Minwoo. Both you and Jooyeon waited with bated breath. Minwoo left but not before brushing his fist against yours and mumbling goodbye. 

Jooyeon grumbled an apology on his behalf before running after Minwoo.

Are you a pureblood? So you’re a full wizard?

This was not how you wanted tryouts to go. For the most part, you were out of it, fortunately not enough for Eunbi to notice. Granted, she had her hands full. 

You could only think about Minwoo. 

Eunbi, in the time you'd spent with first years, had split up the recruits into small groups. There were also workshops so every new member could get a feel of each role. Everyone was assigned their usual roles except for Yeonjun and Oliivia. The former took up the Keeper’s role while the latter shadowed Eunbi, the pair conversing seriously. 

You walked over to the chest where the Bludger rattled in its cage, Yeri sidled up as you sighed.

“You alright?” she asked, motioning to the recruits assigned to the two of you. 

“Yeah, I'm fine—no,” you changed when you caught Yeri’s stare, “I’ll tell you later.”

She nodded, dropping the topic altogether before speaking to the new teammates. You recognized one of them quickly, yet you forgot her name already. 

“Huh Yunjin,” Yeri whispered beside you as you picked your bat, sarcasm dripping with every word. “Olivia’s best friend.”

“Do you know why?”

“Jealousy. Possible threat. Youngest privileges lost,” Yeri stopped to look at you. “Do you want me to keep listing more reasons? Or… ?”

You rolled your eyes at your friend and rounded up the pair, gesturing at them to take off into the air. 

“They’re fourth years, what did you expect?” Yeri yelled after you, no shame in admitting what she was whispering about. 

Shaking your head, you began to explain the basics of your role. Though you’re sure they were already well aware of that, so you made sure to emphasize just how dangerous being a Beater could be. Right on time, a resounding crack echoed through the field. 

The act was involuntary, muscle memory alone carried the task for you. The Bludger zoomed past the two recruits and with another resounding crack was sent back straight for Yeri. Flawless aim and deadly strength. You couldn’t help but smirk at yourself. 

The new students looked terrified, to say the least, but they were poised to whack the Bludger. When Yeri sent the ball back, it lacked its usual vigour, her hit purposely pulled back. Yunjin took the initiative putting herself in the ball's way before taking a swing. 

She managed to hit the ball back in Yeri’s general direction with quite a bit of strength, she showed promise. However, she did slightly stumble to the side of her broom, almost losing balance but she was quick to catch herself. Yunjin turned to you with a proud smile, awaiting praise. You couldn’t deny her that. 

“Well done, that was a good shot,” she straightened as you turned to the other recruit. “Your turn.”

The colour seemed to have completely drained from the kid’s face. If he wasn’t already terrified about facing a Bludger, the fact that Yunjin had managed to hit it almost perfectly couldn't help. Trusting your gut, you readied yourself in case something went south. 

A thunderous crack filled the stadium, his strength was paramount. 

Now if only he hadn’t smacked the Bludger backwards. Heading straight for the stands. 

You swore enough to lose a solid amount of points from your house. Good thing you were ready because you were flying at a speed you normally saved for your games. Your best friend has the same idea because Yeri was right by your side in a second. 

Ignoring the shrieks from the audience, the pair of you managed to surpass the Bludger with just enough space to spare. Without sharing a glance, you raised your batting hand and striked the Bludger. So had Yeri. 

With double the power of notorious Beaters, the Bludger soared high above the field and over the other end of the audience. Yeri only grumbled before speeding away after the ball. Leaving you to deal with the students whose lives you put at risk.

When you turned, the first person you see is Chou Tzuyu.

Like a magnet, your gaze seemed to land on her first. Her steely stare renders you speechless for a moment. Her knuckles were white from clutching a textbook you didn’t recognise. You wondered whether the pages were cutting into her skin. 

“Listen, I’m so sorry, Tzuyu,” you may have joked about how you were always apologising to her if someone hadn’t interrupted you by clearing their throat. Aggressively. 

Finally, you noticed the three other people seated next to Tzuyu. You couldn’t put names on two of them, one of which was clutching their heart as they whispered to the girl next to them. Her eyes were in crescents as she let out a chuckle, blushing to her ears. But, you did recognise Yeosang, Wooyoung’s best bud! 

Or so that's what Wooyoung claimed. You’ve never heard Yeosang confirm it. For that very reason, you doubted the Ravenclaw had a glowing impression of you. 

“Yeosang, buddy—”

“No.” He stood up, his eyes rolling back into his skull as he dragged the Hufflepuff next to him. They whined and made quite a scene as they were pulled away, the girl beside Tzuyu only giggled at their antics. You didn’t miss the wink they sent her before turning your attention back to Tzuyu. 

Her eyes were glassy as she stared. You’ve seen her smile, you know how she can light up a room. Yet, she managed to place such a cruel unfeeling mask over herself. 

“I really am sorry,” you said as the girl, having come down from giggles, shook her head. “Try-outs can be… rough.” 

You turned to Tzuyu again, hoping you salvaged something of your friendship. Not even, just merely the beginning of it. Her features were still steely, which wasn't good. When her friend’s hand came to rest atop hers, she softened. That was incorrect, her eyes didn't soften, she just lost her glare. 

“This is Gahyeon,” Tzuyu said, sentence clipped. “My friend.” 

Gahyeon smiled widely, extending her hand. Before you could even say your name she did it for you. 

“I know who you are,” Tzuyu shot her a strange glare but Gahyeon ignored it, unfazed by Tzuyu’s behaviour. “We’re all good, we knew you and Yeri had it covered. Hope the rest goes better than this!”

With a sad smile, you lowered your head again to apologize. You glimpsed at Tzuyu. Her features were still clouded with distaste, and maybe curiosity, but shifted to her aloof self as soon as she noticed you staring. Bidding them an awkward farewell, you turned to fly back to the third year.

Yunjin was to a side, her prideful demeanour nowhere to be found because she knew what was coming. The third year at fault was shaking on his broom but that didn’t deter you. 

With more vitriol than necessary, you said, “You better be good at some other position because you’re not a Beater!” He tried to say something but you were quick. “There’s no point if you’re all strength, you could’ve hurt someone—”

Yeri's voice came from somewhere to your side, but you decided to continue, baseless anger slipping past tightly shut gates. But your best friend placed a hand on your shoulder and pulled you back, forcing you to face her. 

The look on her face said everything you needed to hear. You can’t berate a kid for something they can’t control and no one was hurt… Tzuyu wasn’t hurt. 

“Get the next pair,” Yeri ordered and all you could do was nod. As you flew down, you could hear Yeri console the third year who was reeling from your words. 

Apart from that incident, practice went quite smoothly. The tasks were easy enough to follow, you and Yeri made sure to inform the recruits to consider aim and strength before swinging the bat wildly. Although, you didn’t allow room for anything to go wrong. Especially with the feeling of someone watching your back. 

After discussing with her teammates, Eunbi assigned substitute positions to the recruits. Though, everyone anticipated who would be the lucky person to fill up the Keeper position. Hyukwoo seemed all too smug, no doubt expecting the position to be his. Which is why it was all the more satisfying to see his expression sour when Yunjin was picked. 

Introductory ice-breakers. Short warm-up. Flight exercises. Two hours seemed to pass by in a blur before Eunbi decided it was time to play a few mock games. 

It was supposed to be harmless but everyone seemed to take it seriously. That was understandable under Eunbi’s unyielding watch. 

The intensity increased tenfold when the captain herself joined, taking her position as the Seeker. The small crowd lounging around the stadium cheered and it almost felt like a real game. Though, you and Yeri were grinning ear to ear, exhilarated just to play together again. 

Once the match ended, Eunbi asked everyone to relax but not before reminding the team to meet at the changing rooms later. Some of the younger recruits were not so eager to do nothing, they began rounding up equipment for the arriving Hufflepuff team. 

Eunbi was long gone and you waved away your friend's call to play catch in the air. Instead, you finally took the time to do what you loved; fly unperturbed. You missed the feeling of the winter chills crawling up your sleeves, cooling down the sweat on your forehead. Soon your mindless rounds came to a slow drive, almost floating in place, suspended in the air as you smiled at no one in particular. To even have considered not playing this year was a fool’s thought. 

A blur hurtled past before turning to stop in front of you. The shiver that ran down your spine was difficult to shake off. 

“So it’s real then?” Wooyoung’s voice squeaked at the end. You hoped he wasn’t insinuating what you think he was. “You and Chou Tzuyu?”

“What are you on about… ” the question died on your lips when Wooyoung looked to his left and you followed his gaze.

Not even a few meters away, Tzuyu was seated exactly where you’d left her an hour ago. Her friend, Gahyeon, if you remember correctly, was reading the prefect's textbook. Tzuyu’s attention, however, was completely on you. 

Apparently, in your daze, you had been flying near her. And in return, she’d been watching you. 

Fortunately, your best friend had immaculate timing. 

But none of the decorum. 

Yeri saved you from the paralysing staring concert by crashing right into you. 

Being the professional that she is, Yeri pivoted at the right moment, parking herself beside Wooyoung. You weren’t so graceful. The groan you emitted was ugly and pained, but at least you didn’t topple off your broom and plummet to your death. The most you experienced was disorientation from the blood rushing to your head. Oh, and the insurmountable amount of embarrassment. Why was Tzuyu looking at you?

Blinking away the white spots, you scowled at your so-called friends who cackled at your misery. “Was that necessary?” 

“Wouldn’t have been if you hurried instead of ogling Hufflepuffs,” Yeri offered an unapologetic smile. She was right, none of your teammates were anywhere to be seen on the field. 

“And it wasn’t even me?” Wooyoung pouted, his voice pitched higher. Both you and Yeri groaned at that. “I’m heartbroken.”

“Alright, we’re done here,” you said as you turned away from Wooyoung’s unbearable expression. 

“No, don’t leave me—” Wooyoung groaned instead of finishing the sentence. No doubt, Yeri shoved him too. 

“Good luck with practice, Woo,” you called out as you descended. Yeri was quick to pass you, shaking her head with a smile as she did. 

You didn’t leave the field without sparing one last glance at Chou Tzuyu. 

Her eyes had never left you.

“We’re focusing on scoring this year,” Eunbi said just as you entered the changing rooms. “This means Beaters, I need you to prioritize Chaser’s protection over mine.” 

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to seat yourself before you were shooting up. 

“What?” you squawked along with Yeri. The team was quick to follow with their outcries. 

Being a Seeker was no walk in the park. The title alone was an automatic target on your back. It didn’t help that there was a running joke of a guaranteed win if Eunbi was eliminated first. Of course, that has never happened. Eliminating Eunbi that is. Not with you carelessly taking Bludgers for her with your head instead of your bat. All ten fingers and ten toes wouldn’t be enough to count how many fouls you and Yeri have intercepted. It was only natural that one of the Beaters was always floating around Eunbi. 

So to ask for no protection seems ill-advised. 

Undeterred, Eunbi continued. 

“This is especially important for our opening game with Gryffindor. Jongho did a damn good job of blocking most of our goals last year,” Olivia scowled at the mention of the Keeper. He hadn’t let her score a single goal. “Focusing on scoring means not only prioritizing our Chasers, but the opposing team’s Chasers as well. If you can keep the Bludgers and their Beaters concentrated on them, then I will be fine.” 

“That’s a big if.” Yeri stated, not necessarily rejecting Eunbi’s unconventional strategy. 

“You are more than capable of pulling it off. I just need you to do it,” Eunbi said, her eyes glossing over the entire team. “All of you.” 

any feedback is much appreciated.

a/n: i feel like this fic is more about studying and sports than tzuyu HKSDFGJKDS like i know it seems like a slow burn, but the original draft didn't even have romance in it HJFKSDGF (i still don't know what type of relationship these two will have) it was me messing around and just dragging shit around for fun so we'll see how this one goes. as for sport, idc for it and if the stuff i say makes no sense, you've come this far i'm sure you can suspend your disbelief just a bit more :D anyways,,,see you next month-ish ? maybe ? who knows ? hope everyone is doing well and have a good day/night !

taglist: @someone-who-likes-broccoli @tatliegilim

send an ask to be added !

[astrum-aetherium]

Hey Shiro here :)

I was just wondering (ad I often do during my Henry Winter musing hours), but do you think Herny wlcpuod fall for Richard Papen like s/o or Camilla-like??? Or maybe I should say it better - do you think of these beforementioned personality qualities og these two could potentially lead Henry to be intrigued with that type of person? I know I am kind of a shipper between characters, but I do also like musing about readers AUs (which lead me to check on AO3 regularly and I know we all here have it same lol). Also and this is probably another request for scenario - first time meeting Henry Winter' potential lover and how would it go in your opinion (first impressions mostly) - this could be connected to my previous question or you can jus go with your own imagination. Thank you once again for being here I enjoy reading your answers, and they feel most accurate to my vision of Henry too.

Sending lots of love and support 🤗

-Shiro

i mean, i'm sure it goes without saying that henry would be extremely likely to be interested in as well as fall for someone similar to camilla. that's what he did in the book, it's canon.

as for camilla's personality traits mixed with richard's — a sullen sort of awkwardness, coyness; holding back, a little unsure, though obscuring multitudes, an undeniable greatness and depth of mind — would certainly allure him as well. after all, the entire greek class accepted and treasured richard in their own ways for their own reasons, henry included. therefore, i think it's safe to say he would potentially find himself interested in someone who personified richard and camilla's qualities in one. he would be enthralled by the mystery encrypted in the air of someone like that, the intelligence they possess but don't flaunt like others tend to. it could absolutely work.

as for meeting henry for the first time, specifically regarding first impressions, well — i think he won't have noticed much about you at first. for him to truly become interested in learning more about a person, i think he needs to have encountered them on many occasions and thereby solidified his interest in them. he wouldn't waste his time observing and analyzing someone he could obtain no use from. he needs to come to the conclusion that he's indeed enthralled independently, and only then would he compile an image of them in his mind.

concerning you, and this is based on your request for a potential partner who resembles richard and camilla, i can imagine henry being intrigued or even mystified with your person. he could sense, upon a closer look, that you do indeed contain multitudes and yet don't particularly strive to yield that information; that you're so laid-back and carefree, not exactly willing to let the whole world in on the secret of your essence. in order not to appear too plain to him, however, you would certainly have to share his interests and be well-versed in the things he is most passionate about. i can definitely see him appreciating intellect in a potential partner above all, specifically in his areas of study.

as for first impressions of henry, well, this is highly subjective and personalizable. stoic, detached, apathetic, rude, and cool are the first adjectives to come to mind. pretentious, arrogant, snobby. and yet... enthrallingly, knee-wobblingly, dangerously intelligent. so smart it would feel as though he carries immense knowledge into each room upon entering it, though depriving everyone else present of it — making you feel stupid and worthless by merely existing in his presence. a grand, diminishing effect. the atmosphere of a vast, condescending, entirely self-assured, and indifferent scholar. cool, sharp, imperceptible if needed but very much noticeable in other cases, and prone to causing irreparable damage — like a needle.

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family��� meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[abbynx]

0 to 100 real quick

La Squadra reacting to a usually silent, patient teammate snapping and going off

Genre: Platonic, just the bois being bros, definitely a self-projection, comfort

Warning: Cursing, mentions of breakup and manipulation 

Your phone rang for the umpteenth time, the stubborn caller failing to realise how many times you've wordlessly made it clear you want nothing to do with him. All you ask of him was to finally leave you alone and yet he continues to persistently pest you. Your will power proved itself mighty to be tolerating his nineteenth call in five minutes.

It was your ex being a stubborn son of a bitch who has a lot of time in his hands, constantly asking you to pick up the phone and let him 'smooth out and explain' his recent relationship with his 'friends' behind your back. You were nowhere near stupid, nor gullible after joining the mob. despite your outward appearance as an innocent, average civilian you've hardened over time with the help of your career and turning your feelings off was no longer a challenge. Over time it simply became a light switch.

After his recent actions came to light, you bear to hesitation to break it off. For a moment you felt guilty when he gave his explanation to why he started seeing other people without you knowing; of course you knew what you were getting into when you signed your soul away to the devil to work in this line of career, you were constantly faced with death and lacked the time to spend time with him. He had no knowledge about what you do for a living, but you knew how to make it clear you were never going to be a simple one-call-away. But over time you've finally gained some self-worth and self-preservation to see through his guilt tripping, before you dropped his ass.

Now you were here, rejecting his calls before pocketing it back in your pants before resuming the movie night. Even putting the phone on silent it continued to bother everyone around you as you continued to nonchalantly press the reject call button.

How can you be this patient, the rest of the team questions but the answer lay before them. Risotto hired the timid assassin with potential for their unwavering patience and swift wits to wiggle them selves out of severe situations, something the time could use to be honest especially when you have a ticking time bomb with no timer and goes off at random. Perhaps the question would be simply answered with a short and simple one: "It's just Y/N being Y/N."

With the pestering phone calls bothering you for the past few days, your team can't help to be annoyed on your behalf and would like to chuck your phone into the deepest trench of the ocean and buy you a new one.

Much to everyone's chagrin, they watch you pick your phone up, however, what you did next was new and unexpected. Instead of rejecting the call, you finally picked up. Most of the time you'd politely greet, but today was certainly different. As soon as you picked up the phone, you wasted no breathe to speak and cut to the chase. All eyes turned to you, some were concerned, curious, shocked, or proud.

"Can you quit blowing up my phone, dude? Twenty FUCKING calls every second is getting tiresome. If you're calling me to 'explain' to me how you're not meeting your hookups then fuck off and get lost! what? Do you miss your personal ego booster? Well then fuck you, go try and choke on your own dick! Do you fucking think I'll believe your half-assed bullshit lies and pathetic fucking cries and bitching will win me over? You must be so fucking DELUSIONAL to be thinking you're worth the effort! What? Are you sad that I’m not a passable doll you can manipulate and mold to your liking? Is that it, you crazy son of a bitch? Can't you fucking get a clue that I'm over it? Huh? I couldn't care less about the new lies you've come up with to try and win me over, I'm done! Finished! Tapos! Ho finito! He terminado! Я задолбался! WHAT OTHER LANGUAGES DO I NEED TO SPEAK TO GET IT THROUGH THAT THICK FUCKING NOGGIN OF YOUR’S? CALL ME AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO ALL THINGS CONSIDERED MIGHTY THAT YOU WON’T HAVE ANY TEETH LEFT, DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU FUCKING CHEATER? DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND? Good."

As soon as you finished the call, you calmly set it down with a sigh of relief. Peace at last. You adjusted yourself comfortably on your seat, wanting to watch the movie on display, when you felt you've made yourself quite the spectacle.

“What?”

Formaggio

- “Woooh, they went off!” His initial response was to high-five you for some reason but you accepted, nevertheless. 

- Very shocked and yet enthusiastic at how you handles yourself at the face of a situation like this. Not to mention, the build up! From you trying to tolerate the caller for the past few minutes, before picking up the call and gave them an ass whipping to remember for the rest of his life! 

- He would feel sorry for the person of the other side of the line if it weren’t for the fact he cheated on you, so good for him to be told off.

Illuso 

- “Heh, about time you told him off.”

- Silently supportive at how you handled yourself at the face of a situation like this and admires you for it. It was very entertaining while it lasted, now he just wants to go back to watching the movie. 

- Along that, he was shock that this hidden side of yours came put of nowhere and came out strong, which he thinks is pretty fucking rad. He now thinks back at the times where he gave you backhanded comments and how you managed to keep yourself cool under it... He now reminds himself not to get on your bad side, ever. 

Proscuitto 

- “.... Thank fuck you’re done, I was starting to think about throwing your phone out.”

- Extremely flabbergasted, as he has never heard you speak fluent in profanities, nor raise your voice at the duration of your stay in La Squadra. and addition to that, the fact you leaned on your seat and calmed yourself immediately as if nothing happened. 

- Nevertheless, he feels proud at you for standing up to yourself and standing your ground. You have always been the timid one entering the world of crime and he overlooked your development within this new and risky life style. Looks like his mentoring worked wonders on you and he feels proud of himself. 

Pesci 

- “......” 

- He was too shaken up to speak, he has never heard you be this angry and frustrated before as you’ve always kept calm in every situation and he admires you for that. 

- He is shaken up, sure but it doesn’t really change how he views you. You were still the patient person he has ever met-- he just happen to witness you lose your cool once but he’s sure that this won’t define you. 

Melone 

- “Good for you for getting rid of that guy.” 

- He’s just relieved that you’re finally done with the guy who has been giving Melone weird vibes the moment you told him about your then boyfriend. A few alarm bells rang in his head as you detailed how he acts around you and despite being happy for you back then, Melone was extremely vocal about his concerns. Looking back at it, he feels that his ‘paranoia’ wasn’t far off.

- He isn’t really shock, he’s just happy that you’re standing your ground and establishing yourself as a person who don’t need no one to use as a co-dependent crutch. After being around Ghiaccio, he really isn’t that phased anymore.

Ghiaccio

- “Fucking finally!”

- Similar to Melone, he’s just relieved your done with the phone calls and clingy boyfriend who is a walking-talking red flag. He hated how you didn’t have time back then to hang out with your other teammates just to spend time with your boyfriend to make up lost times, that often lasts until midnight and Ghiaccio can still hear you talking to your phone. 

- Ghiaccio cares about you despite his distant veneer, and wants the best for the people he cares about. So he was happy that you finally broke your relationship of with a guy who doesn’t deserve you. Also, he’s starting to think that your choice of vocabulary all came from him and is unsure whether he should feel proud or not. 

Risotto

- “Oh... Okay, good for you.”

- He blurted the first thing in mind, because he was just so shock at how you responded. He hired you for being so patient and calm at all times and now looking back, he doesn’t really see himself thinking that one day you’ll be going off without stopping to breathe and stutter. 

- Don’t get him wrong, he actually thinks it’s awesome that you stood up for yourself like that, but just give him time to reel back to reality. He just never thought you’d explode that hard. 

Gelato and Sorbet

- “See Sorbet? I told you they’d snap eventually!” 

- The couple was immensely entertained at your empowering speech being quite the ego breaker and worse-fate-than-death threat. They adore it whenever they see a usually timid newcomer becoming unafraid to stand their ground and tell their oppressors off, it honestly feels like a proud parent thing for them to see their baby kid all grown up and kicking people in the guts with their words. 

- If you would want a rebound, they won’t hesitate to set someone up with you who is far better than your dog-faced ex because they know that people are barely worthy for you 

[magicaldreamfox1]

WAI FOR THE BINGO THINGY

THANKS BESTIE I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON U

now to put this into perspective wai to me is kinda like what gram is to u. i have 7 trillion things to say abt him so strap in

Wai

let me explain. i'm gonna go thru this one by one

FREE SPACE: this character deserved more

first one is self explanatory jimmy is very pretty

everyone but me is wrong abt them. (this excludes @disaster-j she's also correct abt him). it INCLUDES the writers too btw. the thing is everyone has the most surface level dry takes abt wai. but let me shut my mouth and mind my business for now

wasted potential: let's get started. this character had SUCH BIG POTENTIAL. he should've been pran's best friend, ride or die for him, slight anger issues. that's how he started out but the writers decided u know what? we don't need proper developed side characters we can just do whatever the fuck we want. and then decided that his only personality trait is "evil when we need him to be" every single one of his arcs post ep 6 was the most stupid thing i have ever seen in my entire life. this wasn't a character he was a plot device.

they're deeper than they seem: TO ME bc me and @disaster-j came up with an entire extensive AU where waikorn happens and i swear we put in more thought into these characters than the actual writers did.

jumping right to they got done DIRTY by fans: now tell me why everyone hates him just bc he breathed near pha. (more on the outing later don't come for me yet). people love to preach abt not hating female characters just bc they breathed near ur gay ship but then turn around and do this shit. (and don't even get me started on the way people treated wai vs korn. what was all that about.). let me shut my mouth and mind my business.

wow! they are a horrible person: this refers to canon!wai ofc bc he is and i'm not denying that. he outed pran and that's a horrible thing to do and i'm not excusing that at all. and people are completely justified in hating him for that. all I'm saying is that this whole arc was unnecessary, not well thought out and extremely stupid. they didn't even resolve it well it just got swept under the rug. so why do it at all???

they've never done anything wrong: this refers to wai as a character out of context. like why did the writers do him like this. to me the show died after ep 6 for real. wai never did anything wrong and that IS the hill i chose to die on.

now that i said all that i feel like the rest are self-explanatory. canon!wai is just. a shell of a character he's so stale like he has no character traits he was just whatever the writers needed him to be that episode. and it annoys me immensely. the reason he became my blorbo is bc he started out great and the rest i like abt him is all my @disaster-j's au that we came up with as the show was airing. it's more dear to me than the actual show i swear

thank u for coming to my tedtalk <3

send me a character for the character bingo (pls <3)

[tsrookie]

This Is Me Trying

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Alyssa Brooks)

A/N: Hey everyone! Soooo I was actually planning to scrap this fic, since I seriously couldn’t think about practically after Chapter 11. But then Chapter 12 came out, and boom! My brain finally decided to finish this! @kaavyaethanramsey Thank you so much for pre-reading! And a special thanks to @openheart12 for being totally chill with me taking this song for inspiration even though she had plans to do the same!

Song Inspiration: This Is Me Trying by Taylor Swift. I’m going to do some shameless promo for Taylor since her label ain’t bothering with that🙄

STREAM FOLKLORE!

Word Count: 3600+

Warning(s): One curse word

Summary: My version of Ethan’s thoughts after the MK heist. This man is NOT EASY to write!

——————————

Edenbrook was mostly quiet during the night shift. Most doctors left as soon as their time was up, not wanting to spend any more time in the hospital than they already had to.

But that wasn’t the case for a certain diagnostician.

The lamp on Ethan’s desk shone with a clear light in a stark contrast to his confusing thoughts. His mind was clouded. Clouded with thoughts of her.

Dr. Alyssa Brooks, the one he had hand selected from a thousand applications, the resident who had taken Edenbrook by storm as just a mere intern, and the woman who now held his heart.

He’d kissed her twice in less than two days. He couldn’t be the emotionless robot he had pretended to be for 10 years. He wanted to throw away everything to just hold her in his arms without a worry in the world. He didn’t want to just stand next to her. He wanted to be with her. But he had no idea how.

I’ve been having a hard time adjusting

I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting

I didn’t know if you’d care if I came back

I have a lot of regrets about that

His mind automatically took him back to one of the most painful nights of his life: The night he’d returned from the Amazon.

“You’re an idiot Ramsey. An absolute moron. You know she’ll be there, then why the hell are you going there?!”, he’d scolded himself as his legs, as though they had a mind of their own, took him to Donahue’s.

He had no idea how she would react to seeing him. He was, after all, the man who was a complete coward and ran away from her and his feelings for her.

He wouldn’t have blamed her if she was in the arms of that scalpel jockey. At least he would treat her the way she’d deserved to be treated. Unlike him, who only knew to run. He had hoped that she would’ve buried her feelings for him.

The look on her face said it all. The pain, the betrayal, but also the care and concern, was plain to see in her brown doe-like eyes. Two months apart had done nothing to help either of them. He’d still cared for her way more than a mentor was supposed to care for a mentee. And then she’d kissed him.

In those few seconds, he’d felt more air in his lungs than he had ever felt in two months in the Amazon forest. He’d desperately wanted to kiss her back. He’d wanted to let her know that he cared about her more than she could possibly comprehend. But he didn’t.

It almost killed him to tell her that they had to reset. But he didn’t know what else to do at that point. That would forever remain one of his biggest regrets. He’d put them both through so much of pain that he could never forgive himself. He’d hurt her so much. Yet, she’d never given up on them.

He shook his head to bring himself back to the present. He looked into his wristwatch. 12:30 am. It was past midnight. He had to go home as he was past the point of trying to get any work done.

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout

Could’ve followed my fears all the way down

And maybe I don’t quite know what to say

But I’m here in your doorway

He drove out of the hospital and his eyes caught a flash of red walking on the pavement. “Alyssa?” She whipped her head around, recognizing his voice. She looked exhausted, but he wouldn’t blame her, knowing the day she had. Her ginger roots were all over her face and her clothes were completely wrinkled.

“Hey Ethan...”, she croaked in a raspy voice.

“Why on earth are you walking home? I thought you always took the train.”

“The station seemed overcrowded. Wasn’t in the mood to bump into any frat boys.”, she chuckled lightly.

“Get in. I’ll drive you home.”, he said. She opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it seeing the deadpan look on his face.

Her eyes were trained on the road. He glanced at her a couple of times but it didn’t seem like she noticed. She didn’t seem as lively as she was after they’d returned from Mass Kenmore. Something was nagging her, and he was determined to find out what.

“Is everything okay?”, he asked gently, not wanting to push her.

“Hmm... yeah it’s fine... everything’s fine.”, she replied unconvincingly.

“Alyssa...”

He took her hand in his and pulled over at her doorstep. “What’s wrong?”, he asked again, looking straight into her eyes. They were glassy and rimmed with red. His eyes slightly widened, realizing that she had been crying.

“It’s... a lot Ethan. First, it’s Kyra. She’s going to have major surgery. An extrapleural pneumonectomy. It could either save her, or...”, she trailed off, biting her trembling lip. He held her hand tighter, to try and give her the strength to continue. She took a deep breath and continued.

“I’m terrified about what could happen to her. I know I said that I could handle it this morning, but having her in this literal life of death situation... I just can’t”, she choked out a sob.

He immediately wrapped his arms around her on instinct. Her fragile frame trembled as she cried into his shirt. His heart broke to see her like this. He knew that Kyra had a slim chance of survival, but seeing the impact on Alyssa was too much to bear. He’d been through the same situation when Dolores died, and she’d helped him get through it. No matter what was to happen to Kyra, he was going to stand by her side through it all.

“And Raf...”, she suddenly said in receding sobs. “Raf’s leaving town and I have no idea why. It’s completely out of the blue and I’m really worried about him. He hasn’t been the same since the beginning of this year, and now he just decides to leave Boston.”

Ethan was surprised as well. He had known the paramedic only for a couple of months and even he was surprised at his decision to leave. He seemed to love his hometown and it seemed completely out of character for him to leave like this.

He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know that she was going through so much. It hurt him beyond anything to see her in her most vulnerable state.

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

“Alyssa, I...”

He searched for the right words to say. He had comforted plenty of patients in the past, but nothing had prepared him to hold Alyssa in his arms.

“I know that I can’t take all this away, no matter how much I want to. But if you ever need anyone to talk to, or just want me around, I’ll be there. That’s a promise.”

He owed it to her. He owed her the world and more. She’d stood by him and been his rock through all his issues with his mother. He wanted to be there for her. He had to at least try.

“Thank you Ethan...”, she said with a soft smile that was enough to light up his whole world. He reluctantly let her go with a kiss to her hand. “Sleep well Alyssa.”

They told me all of my cages were mental

So I got wasted like all my potential

And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad

I have a lot of regrets about that

His lips still tingled from touching her hand. “Heaven knows how I’m going to keep up this pathetic act.” As he drove along the nearly empty streets, his mind went back to the most stupid decision of his life...

“You can’t live life like this Ethan. You can’t keep isolating yourself from her.”, Naveen had told him when he had made the foolish decision to run away to the Amazon. The old man had always known what went on in Ethan’s mind. There wasn’t a day where Naveen hadn’t chided him for locking himself up in his own cage. But he didn’t know what to do. His walls were up too high for anyone to climb over them.

But then Alyssa barged into his life. She broke into the invisible cage he had alienated himself in. All his high walls came up short for her. No one else had broken through his soul like her. He watched the walls he had built for over twenty years come falling down for her.

But despite all that, he had majorly screwed up. He had been nothing but rude and cold for weeks in her second year thanks to Gwyneth Monroe and Leland Bloom. He was furious at the board, but deep down he had known that the team would change a lot due to the budget cuts. He knew that it was completely unfair to direct his anger at her and everyone else in the hospital. But he didn’t know what else to do. His values and Naveen’s vision had been compromised, and that clouded his mind from thinking of anything else.

The regret and guilt in her eyes had pained him immensely. As time passed, he had accepted the fact that the fault wasn’t hers and that he was truly thankful to her for making the decision he was dreading. But he had no idea how to tell her all of that. His words and actions had hurt her and there was no going back and changing them. And it wasn’t even the first time. Hurting her repeatedly was all he ever did.

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere

Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here

Pouring out my heart to a stranger

But I didn’t pour the whiskey

He remembered his days from med school. After Tobias had betrayed him by stealing Serena Jane, he didn’t bother with romance. He completely submerged himself in his studies. His peers found true happiness and love while he had accomplished more than anyone could have dreamed of, but stayed unhappy.

Whenever he opened up, he would just go through a world of pain. Tobias was the only person who he had truly trusted. But then he had stabbed him in the back in every way possible. He hadn’t planned to let Naveen in, but the old man had become like a second father to him. And then he had nearly died, which had terrified Ethan more than he had let on. He shouldn’t have let anyone in after that.

But then there was Alyssa.

His Rookie. He knew damn well that that nickname had become a term of endearment. That was why he rarely called her that after her second year began. He didn’t want to get her hopes up only to hurt her again.

He fell asleep with all these thoughts tormenting him.

The next day was pretty dull. He hadn’t seen her in the morning since the team didn’t have any new patients. He knew that she was probably working on Kyra’s case in her free time and didn’t want to impose. By the end of his shift, he was questioning his decision to even show up at work as it was incredibly tedious and monotonous without Alyssa by his side.

He found himself sitting at Donahue’s, with his eyes flicking to the door every once in thirty seconds in hopes that she would walk in. “You look like you haven’t slept properly in days”, said Reggie’s voice. “I mean, I know you’re busy as hell, but you at least used to look like you were a normal human back then.”, he chuckled. Ethan let out a heavy sigh as he stared at his untouched glass of whiskey. “You okay?”

Ethan considered Reggie to be a... good acquaintance, which was more than he considered three-fourth of the people in the hospital to be. But was he about to pour his heart out to him?

He looked down at his full glass and realized he didn’t even need the alcohol to express his agony. He just couldn’t take it anymore.

“It’s... Alyssa.”, he said as his eyes filled with pain.

“Tell me.”, Reggie said as he leaned on the bar countertop.

“I don’t know what to do about her. She’s a brilliant young doctor and my mentee. She has the skill and potential to become one of the greatest doctors the world has ever seen. And I need to push her to be that. Caring about her... that’ll get in the way. I might start being lenient with her if I’m with her. And I don’t want that to hinder her development...” He trailed off as a lump formed in his throat.

Opening up like this brought the bitter truth to light. There were too many professional obstacles for them to be a normal couple. But those were nothing compared to their emotional issues.

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

I just wanted you to know that this is me trying

At least I’m trying

He took a deep breath as he continued, “I don’t even know why she would want me. I’ve done nothing, absolutely nothing but cause her pain from the very start. I was the one who first kissed her. I was the one who lead her on. I was, sorry, am the coward who broke her heart by running away to the Amazon. I dragged her into the mess that is my personal life. But she still wants to stay. She’s by my side whenever I need her and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repay her for everything she’s done for me.” He choked out a small sob. He loathed himself.

She was the last person on the planet who he ever wanted to hurt, but that was all he had ever done. Trying to make up for all that pain seemed nearly impossible.

“I don’t deserve her Reggie... I just don’t. I don’t even know how I fell in so deep. It all just... happened. And now I’m stuck in a dilemma where I need to be the best mentor I can be for her but I also can’t live a life without her as something so much more than just my mentee! I want her to be my-”

He stopped as he suddenly realised what he was about to say. He was about to admit that he wanted her to be his girlfriend. He wanted an actual relationship with her.

Reggie smiled knowingly at him. “Say it Ethan. Say it out loud so that you can finally accept it for yourself.” “I... I want to be in a relationship with her.”, he said. He let out a breath that he didn’t realized he’d been holding. He felt free.

And it’s hard to be at a party when I feel like an open wound

It’s hard to be anywhere these days when all I want is you

You’re a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town

He suddenly heard a laugh. Her laugh. His favourite sound in the whole world.

He whipped his head towards the source of the sound and sure enough, she was there. She was in the middle of what seemed like a drunken dance off with Lahela. But he didn’t look even half as drunk as Alyssa. Her eyes were hooded and worn out. Her clothes were all wrinkled up, but she didn’t seem to care at all, which was quite a surprise.

Something told him that she had overworked herself and was drinking to combat the exhaustion. But the way she moved made him feel otherwise. The way her hips swayed slowed in the dim light of Donahue’s sent his thoughts into the gutter.

His mind flashed with memories of the night she had won her ethics hearing. The way she had flashed a lopsided grin at him when he’d lied to a resident while leaving the bar. Her incredibly messy yet perfect room. The night they’d last slept together. The night he’d last felt her body perfectly intertwine with his. It all seemed like nothing but a distant memory now, with all that had happened. But he could never forget that night, no matter how hard he tried.

He let out a sigh as he looked at Reggie. “I think it’s better if I left now... It’s for the best if she doesn’t notice me.”

“Too late for that, since your Rookie is on her way to the bar right now”, came a reply with a smirk. Ethan let out a frustrated sigh, but he found himself unable to suppress the slight smile on his face as she made her way towards him.

“Ethaaan! What a *hiccup* wonderful surpriiise! I had noo idea you’d *hiccup* be here!”, she said in a singsong voice.

“Dr. Broo- Alyssa, what exactly do you think you’re doing near the bar in this state?”, he asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Juuuust a few more *hiccup* drinks. I’m purrrrfectly fine.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. It seemed like it was now up to him to make sure she could at least walk straight.

“No. You are not having any more. I can’t handle a hungover member on my team when the Senator arrives.”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

“Actually I am.”, he smirked as he ushered her out of the bar.

And I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying (Maybe I don't quite know what to say)

I just wanted you to know

That this is me trying

The cold Boston air hit them in the face as they got outside. Winter was coming, and it seemed that his favourite resident had forgotten to bring a coat to combat the chilly weather.

It didn’t take him more than a second to realize she was shivering. Wordlessly, he took off his jacket and draped it over her shoulders. She looked up at him in surprise, her glassy eyes filling with life. He looked away on instinct, but couldn’t suppress the smile at the corner of his lips on seeing her in his clothes.

“Hey... I dunno if I’ve *hiccup* said this before, but I’m really glad to have you in my corner *hiccup* ya know. The past few days have been... so overwhelming and... I would’ve *hiccup* lost my mind if it wasn’t for you.”

He turned to look at her. Her brown eyes were filled with sincerity and... something else. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Something new. Something... affectionate.

If she could be wasted and still manage to talk to him with complete honesty, then his sober mind could do just the same.

He took her hands in his. They were cold, and sent a jolt of electricity through him. “Alyssa, I meant what I said yesterday. If you ever need me, for anything, at any time, I’ll be there. Nothing will ever change that, no matter what... changes between us.”

He saw her face light up at his words, and he realized that he had quite the same expression himself.

He didn’t know whether she was going to ask him anything further of the topic of... them. It seemed like she decided not to, and he was grateful for it. He still didn’t know what exactly to do, but he knew that it was foolish to keep pushing her away.

“Alyssa where on earth- Oh!”

Doctor Trinh’s eyes widened as she witnessed the tender exchange between them. Her expression morphed from shock to utter delight as she saw their joined hands. If it was someone else, Ethan would’ve immediately pulled away. But this was Alyssa’s best friend, and a doctor who he knew he could trust with their secret, especially since she had seen him come out of her room the previous year.

“I’ll umm... tell Jackie that it’ll take a while.”, she said sheepishly as she turned away from the pair.

“No it’s alright. I need to *hiccup* get some rest before tomorrow. We’re done here. Unless... there’s *hiccup* anything else you want to say?”, she asked as his eyes locked with hers again.

“Yeah... just that I don’t want you to worry too much. Everything’s going to be okay Alyssa.”, he said with a smile that mirrored hers. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her temple, as she reluctantly pulled away from him for the night.

“Thank you Ethan... for everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The ghost of a smile adorned his face as he went back to his car. He wasn’t sure about how she felt about everything. Hell, he still wasn’t sure about how he was feeling. But it was something beautiful. Something he hadn’t felt for anyone he had been involved with. Something that filled his heart with joy. Something he had thought that was impossible for him to feel since his mother had left him at eleven.

Love. Ethan Ramsey was in love with Alyssa Brooks.

The very idea terrified him. The worry of losing someone he loved had been rooted his mind since childhood. But she was different. His heart opened up to her in a way it had done with no one before.

It was going to be a long road, filled with obstacles and barriers. He didn’t even know if she felt the same about him. But he wanted to try. His life would never be complete without her in it, and the thought of a reset could never cross his mind again. Changing his view on the world was worth a try when it came to her. Because she was worth the risk. “She always has been.”

At least I'm trying

——————————

A/N 2: Hope you guys liked it! I’ve shamelessly included Louis Tomlinson and GoT references even though it’s supposed to be inspired from a Taylor Swift song😬 Let me know if you found them! And I hope I managed to stay true to the fact that our man is super oblivious to the fact that MC is head over heels for him as well😅 I tried to make this one seem like an actual fic instead of a kinda boring narration that I did last time. As always, constructive criticism is much appreciated❤️

Taglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @ohramsey @aylamwrites @caseyvalentineramsey @ohvamsey @starrystarrytrouble @dxnicaramsey @decadentwinnerjudgedream @nithya @mrsmatsuo-ramsey @imonlybibecauseofethanramsey @rookiefromedenbrook @bratzlahela @eramsey28 @the-pale-goddess @ohchoices @wellhelloramsey @pitchblackstars @mvalentine @swiftlydarcy @utterlyinevitable @angela8756 @akshara16 @sushiharrington @drethanramslay @lion-ess24 @whippedforethanfreakingramsey

Sorry if some of the tags don’t work😓 Let me know if you want to be added or removed!

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 5: What the Heart Wants

I was going to try to follow my scene-by-scene format for the entire season, but I’ve been getting a lot of migraines recently, presumably from staring at the computer too long, so I don’t want to spend all morning working on typing up the play-by-play for this episode.

Also, for what it’s worth I think this episode lends itself to plot discussion better than some of the previous episodes...at least in some sense.

And as another head’s up, it’s back to being critical for me. ;P

Storylines:

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

The Dress Shop/Rachel

Postal Service, Ned

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Carson and Faith

Henry

Elizabeth and Lucas

Clara’s Dilemma

--

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

This plot felt a little scattered, but for once it wasn’t the kind of storyline they foisted too much drama upon. After years of every single function possible being besieged by bullshittery, it’s a relief to see one go off without a real hitch.

The beginning scene with Robert hugging Elizabeth was sweet. I enjoyed the Canfields immensely and am intrigued by Angela’s role in the story long-term (PLEASE let her befriend Allie!). Nathan...eh, I have thoughts—but I’ll talk about that a bit soon. The actual ceremony was cute and kind of fun with the kids singing. 

Neat Thing I Noticed:

Continuity? Cat Montgomery is still listed as Emily’s mother. ♥♥♥ I don’t know why but this made me really happy???

-

Complaint Corner:

Parent-teacher conferences should have been in this show from a much earlier point, and so should graduation have been. If there was a point to this celebration (the first year in a while anyone was old enough to graduate) that would have been a nice touch, too. It just managed to feel sliiiightly out of place.

I’ll forgive the “everyone in town goes to the graduation” thing because this is 1918...something like this would be a whole-town affair IMO. Invite everyone and have a nice get-together/party, probably on a Sunday afternoon after church but Hope Valley does whatever it wants, so...eh.

The threat of merging Hope Valley with other schools doesn’t fit in this scenario and it feels like they ripped it directly out of Tales from Avonlea which was almost rage-inducing to me.

Look, school mergers happened a lot in the early 1900s, especially around the WWI mark, but it wouldn’t be hitting a rural western town just yet. They don’t have any way of getting these kids to other towns for schooling. Where would the next closest school be? It would have to be pretty large and modern to merge multiple schools together.

*Adjusts nerd glasses* This felt forced and completely unnecessary. If anything this guy could be telling Elizabeth that they’re working on building a modern school somewhat close by, and could even have her involved in some decision-making regarding layout. Then they could bring in a “merger” storyline next season without it feeling out of place.

It mostly just felt dramatic for the hell of it, and it was boring, as was this man’s threat that Elizabeth had no right to teach a blind student. As if they’d accept Angela at a better school? As if her parents could afford top tier education for her? PLEASE.

Now it’s time for Nathan. The man chose to go fishing instead of to the parent-teacher conference? It makes him look like a tool. This isn’t about him or about Elizabeth; it’s about Allie. I understand why he didn’t want to go, but he should have done it anyway. It would have taken five minutes of his time. 

His flippant attitude annoyed me because it went completely against his character as we know it, but Elizabeth’s lecturing was irritating, too. For a moment I thought we had Lorigail back on the show...

I think Elizabeth was well within her rights to warn Nathan about the effect his work has on his ward, but that inquiry took like a week AT MOST. Heck, let’s be generous and say TWO WEEKS. Allie’s concentration suffered for two weeks. There was no need to say more than, “Hey she worries about you and her work suffered for a bit during that time frame, just so you’re aware.” 

I think what annoyed me about the math program thing is that...Elizabeth being a teacher would probably be VERY WELL AWARE that MOST of the parents to her students aren’t good enough at schooling to assist their kids with their homework. I dunno, it just feels out of place for her to tell Nathan that she wants to put Allie in an accelerated “program” and that Allie might need his help with her homework. It’s even more out of place when he admits he used to bribe his sister to do his work for him. Like. It’s very possible he’s not that good at math and isn’t capable of helping. (But maybe that will be a plot down the road...?)

“Or a tutor...” BITCH WHERE IS HE GONNA FIND A TUTOR IN THIS TOWN?! It’s super annoying to see dialogue like this that feels completely out of touch with the reality these people would be living in...lol. But also if she needs a tutor to stay caught up in an advanced program, she probably...shouldn’t be in the advanced program.

I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing here: “Nathan, you are Allie’s world. You’re the only father she’s ever known, and as she grows up you will always be the measure of the quality she’ll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry.” 

On one hand, it does fit the situation (he seems to think everything is behind him but Elizabeth’s words are kind of a caution that 1) his actions still have an effect on Allie, and 2) every day he’s teaching her by example). On the other hand, it seems almost wildly inappropriate to bring up? At the same time, it’s probably not wrong that Allie will measure other men (friends, acquaintances, potential future romantic interests) against Nathan’s example.

I dunno. The conversation felt disjointed. 

I think what they were going for was Nathan just feeling too awkward and weird about being with Elizabeth to want to be there for the conference, but...he interacted with her quite normally after the inquiry and stuff (even after she’d broken things off with him), so...it feels out of place. Like maybe this should have taken place right after the breakup and not weeks later?

Anyone else have thoughts on this and why it doesn’t feel quite right?

--

The Dress Shop/Rachel

This plot wasn’t what I would call a waste of time (rather, it’s worth having it mentioned now), but part of it was completely pointless and stupid. The whole Rachel getting lost thing was tacked into the promos to stir up drama, but nothing happened and there was nothing worrisome even going on. YAWN.

Rosemary’s desire to do something meaningful and different with her life is super interesting. I’m very curious to see what they decide to do with her if Dottie does sell the dress shop.

Also, Rosemary finding the book under Rachel’s bed was pretty funny.

But yeah, I didn’t really find much in this plotline to care deeply about. I guess I am pretty interested in knowing who might be purchasing the dress shop and/or if this decision is to bring someone else onto the show (a female love interest for the man who doesn’t win Elizabeth’s heart in the end, or even to bring back an old character*) or to take the dress shop out of the equation entirely... It’s also just as possible that Rosemary/Lee or Clara/Jesse end up buying it themselves down the line... Thoughts?

*I can’t begin to imagine who would be the best fit for this in this case, though. Who would have the money to buy her out?

--

Postal Service, Ned

Ned is just honestly so cute and fun. I love him. He’s really been doing well this season and seeing him wander around town delivering mail door to door was kind of nice.

Also, he’s one SMOOTH operator! Look at him, talking about putting a bell on the door so that he and Florence won’t be caught off-guard if they’re in the middle of...something. 

Oh my, Ned. What might customers be...interrupting? :3

Continuity? Not only was the ulcer from last season brought up, but the horrid cabbage juice was, too. :’) It was a nice touch. And these two had just enough screentime to be kind of fun/interesting without also taking up too much time.

--

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Nathan got his vacation and Bill is in charge...again. This happens an awful lot. I wonder if it’ll actually impact the next few episodes or if it’s just here for the hell of it.

I love Bill a lot and I want to brag up his character in this episode a bit. I’ve complained many times in the past about him being written like a Grumpy Old Man Yelling at Clouds but this episode was super respectful. He got his scene with his uniform. Nobody interrupted it. There weren’t even any words. I quite liked it.

But it also felt kind of...pointless? I don’t want to judge it too harshly yet. Like the dress shop plotline, this could actually be going somewhere in the next couple of episodes. 

Plus, unrelated to the uniform, it was nice to see Bill acting fatherly toward Clara. While it sort of came out of nowhere for the wedding, I appreciate the attempt at continuity there. Plus, so far this season, I’ve felt like Bill’s almost been a father-figure to Clara, Fiona, and even Nathan, so I’m enjoying that a lot.

--

Carson and Faith

CONTINUITY? The show finally remembered that not only is Carson actually a surgeon, but that was his original passion. It’s not that they completely forgot (S5 had him performing surgery on his sister-in-law, after all), but giving Carson a PASSION makes him a way more interesting character to me. 

And also, finally, this feels like a REAL high-stakes plotline for him and for Faith.

I really liked Faith’s take on things. I know, I know, I’ve been rooting at them to break up, but the reason is mostly because they’re just so BORING together. I’d rather watch Henry twirl around in a chair for an hour than suffer through date scenes with these two.

It’s not that I’m against a doctor wife/husband team. I’m not. I just think Faith was a much more interesting and cool character on the show before Carson showed up and usurped her place (and completely overshadowed her for literal seasons). This plotline for Carson might actually be interesting. Like, a fellowship? For modern surgery? IN BALTIMORE?!

I hope this is Faith’s way of saying she wants a break and/or a break would be good for them. I can’t picture her leaving Hope Valley without any trained medical staff, let alone long enough for a fellowship... 

But if this goes through, what will they do with it? Would they really write Carson off the show? To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’d be fine with that. At least it’s the type of write-off that makes a lot of good sense (unlike some of the other ones we got). I guess this is just another “wait and see” plotline which is uhh...the theme of this episode, huh? Anyone have thoughts on this?

--

Henry

Henry barely had any screentime, but I do want to say he is #relateable. The man is back at work for ten seconds and already exhausted. SAME.

Also, I appreciate that he’s ready to be back in the oil business. At what cost? I know people were worried they were gonna kill him off, and I really doubted it, but now I’m starting to wonder where they’re going with this exactly. Yet another wait and see moment LOL!

--

Elizabeth and Lucas

Some damn fine scenes for Lucas and Elizabeth in this episode. Mostly the scenic ones. :P

I enjoyed the agreement to a date. The horseback riding stuff was pretty cute. 

Complaint corner? I don’t know. I have petty complaints. Even though the celebration for the kids was a town-wide event, and therefore Lucas was invited, it still felt out of place to see it brought up. Maybe it should have been mentioned as a town celebration from the start?

Then Lucas’s comment about not wanting to make things awkward for Nathan (who is actually a parent and there) makes a liiiittle more sense. I do think it was good of him to not go, even though he wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth, but it gave off a weird vibe, like, “Look at how good and wholesome Lucas is!” Is that intentional? I’m not...sure...?

For what it’s worth I already felt like Lucas was an honorable person in this regard. He loaned Nathan money, after all. Maybe he should have told Elizabeth he views Nathan as a friend and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily and/or if he was there he’d want to hog her all to himself or something cheesy. Hm.

My other complaints are:

Elizabeth running to the saloon would be WAY faster than all this getting set up at her house...?? Who thought this made sense?

Elizabeth’s dress looked like a nightie she bought at Kohls.

Too many damn candles.

Characters Do What Plot Dictates Even Though Plot Makes No Sense. More at 11:00!!

I have no further comments on the dress. It needed sleeves or something so it looked more like a dress and not like a nightgown/piece of lingerie.

I think the candles might have been on purpose to parallel Jack...but I hated it lol. Fire hazard? HAVEN’T ENOUGH THINGS IN TOWN BURNED DOWN/EXPLODED?!

I didn’t hate the date scene! But I never feel like Elizabeth has any meaningful conversations with Lucas and it’s starting to drive me batty. 

Could we get uhhh something of substance please? It has to be surface-level nonsense on purpose. Right? RIGHT?

(And no, discussing a book for ten seconds on-screen is not “intelligent conversation” okay...?)

It’s really a shame because I’m starting to actually warm up to Lucas a little bit in this season but it feels like the conversations are just...kind of stilted and she’s not really into dating him—just agreeing to it because he’s the only option. 

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...he deserves better than that. 

Don’t get me wrong, by the way. If it’s part of the story and it’s revealed as such down the road, I’ll be fine with it...but I always worry they’ll just skip important relationship milestones and/or important conversations and expect us all to just accept it.

Kiiiiiind of looking forward to the rainy date scene in the next episode, though. I’m Team Nathan mostly but I’m keeping an open mind and I think I might actually enjoy it. Hopefully they’ll get some good scenes together that don’t feel like this one did.

--

Clara's Dilemma

Clara’s fears about running the salon without Fiona...are legit. LOL.

Also, this little bit was funny (between Mike and Jesse and Bill):

Anyway, if Clara was that worried about it, she should have just...told Fiona no? I hope it comes up down the road. Poor Molly??

I genuinely don’t know how I feel about Clara and Jesse’s involvement in this episode. I guess it was okay. I liked Clara’s scenes with Bill. I thought the idea of Clara and Jesse buying into the cafe was a nice one. Jesse having “invested” their money and lost it all, though... They did a similar plot with other people in what...Season 5 was it? Or was that the start of S6? He didn’t even say what he invested it in? But he admits the money is all gone? 

I think that’s what was missing from that scene. “I invested it in X, hoping to make us more money, but it didn’t work out and we lost everything.”

I’m not going to criticize Jesse’s characterization, only because sometimes character "growth” doesn’t happen for the better of anyone involved. My biggest worry here is that it’ll be solved by the end of next episode....but I hope that’s not it.

Like, I think they did better with Frank and Abigail if we’re going to talk about a man who didn’t know how to live like he was in a committed relationship. It made more sense with Frank, too, being older and single most of his life. His bouts of selfishness felt realistic.

Jesse feels like he’s somehow getting worse and worse as a person as the show goes on. I’m kind of at a point where I hope he and Clara divorce, because he’s so damn selfish it’s embarrassing. He’s off having a beer while his wife works multiple jobs? And then he has the audacity to act like they should save money when he just blew all their savings? 

I’m sure it’ll work out fine but I hope Clara puts herself in charge of the finances at the very least.

As to investing failures, I liked how they did that with Henry and Abigail. That was the kind of tension and worry that felt natural to me—like she trusted him with her money after he’d proven himself untrustworthy ten million times throughout the years, and he failed and had to uhh admit that. 

Jesse straight up betrayed Clara. Which, if it’s dealt with in a satisfying way...I think can be a good plotline. I just worry about it actually being dealt with properly. That’s a huge stumbling block in a relationship. And why is he continually getting worse as a person? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. 

Gasp... it’s almost like it’s just plot because they feel like they have to give someone something every damn episode.

--

Which brings me to THE FINAL

COMPLAINT CORNER (The Big Boy™ Complaints)

The show has really struggled with finding its footing. I wish they’d take notes from better shows with ensemble casts (cough cough Road to Avonlea cough) without also ripping off their storylines (cough school merges cough).

My #1 complaint at this point in Season 8 is the SHEER AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON EVERY EPISODE.

I want continuity, so I want to see things happen naturally over a season, but my God do we not need to have mindless pointless crap in the episode. Rachel getting “lost” for ten seconds wasted literal MINUTES of screen time that would have been MUCH better allocated to basically anyone else in this episode.

And I don’t think it would bother me so much if it wasn’t also shoved into the promo like it was supposed to matter. It didn’t matter. Nobody cares. Why was it allowed to stay in the episode alongside stuff like Clara and Bill’s conversation?

Or Lucas and Carson’s?

I think they want to appease all the fans in every episode by giving them scenes of their favorites, but what did Henry sitting in his chair accomplish in this episode? Rachel getting lost? Jack not sleeping well/missing his mom? The school superintendent?

Did Bill trying on his uniform have to be in this episode? Did Jesse and Clara’s problems have to come fully to light right now?

When every episode is formatted like this, with 10 plotlines all interconnected slightly and going on at the same time, I feel like...nobody gets the spotlight they deserve when they deserve it.

I cANNOT believe I’m saying this, but this plotline for Carson, especially if it will end with him leaving the show for a while or permanently should get the focus it deserves. But it won’t if we get tiny snips of it here and there and then BOOM decision made because Reasons.

And again, I know I’ve said before that I want more continuity throughout the season, but... the best way to do that is to tighten up the plots. Have fewer of them per season and give more screentime to the ones you choose to pursue. 

--

Anyway, I’m still enjoying the season, but I hope they keep some of this kind of stuff in mind for next season. They don’t need plotlines for everyone in every episode. They need the plotlines they choose to write to be worth their screentime.

Sorry this was sloppily written and all that. Hopefully it makes sense. Very curious to see y’alls thoughts. Feel free to make your own posts and @ me, or reblog this or comment!

[verryberriess]

Accept Me As Your Valentine’s | Rowaelin Oneshot

This is the first fanfiction I’ve ever written!! Thanks to my bestie @maastrash for the encouragement and helping me out :D I hope you guys like it!

Rating: T, mild swearing

Summary: February 14 was the one official day at Greenbriar where an individual could offer chocolates, flowers, or small gifts to someone they admire or want to express pure feelings towards. And Aelin had spent all night making chocolates for a certain someone...

Note: There is potential for the side stories to be written out ... let me know what you think!

February 14. Valentine’s Day. A tradition celebrated around the world where gifts and flowers are exchanged between lovers in order to express a physical act of love. Gifts didn’t have to necessarily be exchanged between lovers, however. Many, in fact, are exchanged between close friends and offered to those whom someone admires.

At Greenbriar High School, Valentine’s Day had become a popular school event over the years. February 14 was the one official day at Greenbriar where an individual could offer chocolates, flowers, or small gifts to someone they admire or want to express pure feelings towards. It was the ultimate event of courage for girls and guys of all classes to attempt a confession towards the person they admired from afar. The hope of having one’s feelings returned often came at the expense of high-end chocolate carefully wrapped in gold foil imported from Switzerland and Belgium or opulent custom-designed pastries from French patisseries.

Rowan Whitethorn, Aedion Ashyrver, and Fenrys Moonbeam were some particular individuals whom many girls had intended to present their chocolates to on this special day, for the reason that these men were the most eligible bachelors of Greenbriar High.

School legend claimed that a couple years ago, alumni Lorcan Salvaterre, infamous for his ruthless and dark manner, had actually started dating someone after she had presented chocolates to him on this particular day. As a result, most people reasoned that if the notorious Lorcan could be swayed by some certain chocolates on Valentine’s Day, there was certainly some charm in the event that had provoked such a miracle.

Amidst the bustling student body, Aelin Galathynius stood in front of her locker and stared down at what she clutched in her hands. A tiny, golden, heart-shaped box she had purchased from the local art store for her homemade chocolates. She had even put in the effort to tie a little bow across the box to complete the aesthetic. It had taken her all night to prepare her chocolates. Although she was certainly talented in consuming large quantities of the physical manifestations of cocoa heaven, they were absolutely a pain to produce. Cooking was not in her favor.

She remembered last night’s events where she burned her first batch of cream and chocolate in the bowl, and in her second attempt, somehow the chocolate had managed to never melt. She stirred for one whole hour for the mixture to turn liquidy as the recipe called; it was apparent that after she had Googled the approximate time it took for chocolate to melt under this process, she knew she had to start over again. Hence, third time's a charm when she followed an easier recipe.  

In the end, she had successfully made chocolates-- or well-- it was as chocolate as chocolate could be. Her chocolate turned out lumpy, with unusual grooves and warts sticking out in various directions. Perhaps that was due to the almond shavings she had added for an artistic touch? Were truffles supposed to carry such a discoloring? She compared her outcome to the one in the article. Ehh.

Aelin took a bite out of one of the six chocolates that had survived her horrific cooking venture. “Hmm,” she mulled over its unusual taste. It was definitely edible. But did it taste like the usual chocolatey decadence she was so accustomed to? Big no. Even if it was chocolate. Even if she was the ultimate chocolate connoisseur who would probably consume any form of chocolate in the world. What she had concocted was a big mistake.

Aelin couldn’t afford to waste any more heavy cream. The jar of cocoa powder that she had gotten earlier that day was also almost out. And it wasn’t like the general store near her operated 24/7. Carefully assembling the remaining five chocolates in the box she had acquired on sale just for tomorrow’s occasion, she wrapped a golden ribbon across and pulled the ends tight.

She couldn’t reason how so many of her fellow classmates had thousands of dollars to spend on chocolates that carried high risk of being rejected. Actually, maybe that was the best form of action anyways, since her truffles didn’t exactly turn out how chocolates were supposed to. But, in reality, this was all Aelin could afford. She lived in the most underprivileged neighborhood in the area and rode on the bus for an hour to get to school everyday. Some days after school, she worked a part-time job to pay for her rent. She was sincerely thankful for being able to attend Greenbriar High under a full scholarship despite the air being polluted by rich snobs and bigots. Nevertheless, Aelin was most thankful for the best friend she’s ever made in her life there. These chocolates were for him, after all.

He better be thankful. Aelin was on the verge of hand-writing letters to thank each chocolate company in the country for their honorable service. She had a newfound appreciation for the treat.

Aelin peered out of her locker to look over her shoulder at an onslaught of girls and boys. The crowd was immense. She hadn’t realized the extent of the school event’s popularity until now. She witnessed some groups exchange treats with each other and heard others talking animatedly about who they would offer theirs to. But the majority of the crowd was focused around a certain group that everyone had aspired to give their chocolates to. Rowan, Fenrys, and Aedion walked as a group through the hall, conversing with each other, stopping intermittently to interact with brave souls who tried to give them chocolates. Fenrys looked like a balancing act. He carried stacks upon stacks of chocolates and sweets within his arms. The pile seemed to grow with each passing second. Aelin feared for all of the treats that would scatter across the school if he ever toppled over… she just hoped she would get there in time to maybe steal some for herself? Aedion carried a few chocolates himself, but most of them were probably hidden inside of his bag, since it was looking extra stuffed today.

She watched as a girl, holding luxury chocolate bars Aelin would have died to get her hands on, approach a notable tall, silver-haired, pine-green eyed individual. He only carried his backpack on his right shoulder-- any sweets he may have received were out of sight. The girl blushed, determinedly held out the chocolates, and shyly insisted, “Rowan, please accept these chocolates!”

Rowan looked upon the unassuming girl and the chocolates with disinterest and replied, “... No.”

With encouragement from her friends to try again, the girl piped up assuredly, “If you could just-”

Rowan cut her off, “I’m sorry, but I can’t accept these.”

The crowd around Rowan and the girl didn’t seem to decrease even with Rowan’s apt rejection. In fact, it only seemed to get bigger. Of course Rowan would reject the chocolates though, reasoned Aelin. He was never big on sweets. But maybe he would accept hers-

Before Aelin could reconsider, she saw Rowan reject yet another person across the hall. This time, he rejected a guy who had wanted to thank Rowan for his help from some extracurricular activity.

No. This is stupid, thought Aelin. If he didn’t accept someone’s chocolates meant to thank him for his help, what were the odds of Rowan accepting hers? They weren’t that close, were they? She had wanted to thank him for being a good friend to her. He was one of her closest friends at school. He had introduced her to the rest of his group and allowed her to meet Lysandra and Fenrys. Why did she feel like she needed a better reason to present him her chocolates?

Aelin shoved her chocolates in her locker and collected her books for the school day.

When she walked into Second period, she scrambled to her seat and shrunk into her chair and focused on a peculiar spot on her desk. It was not long after until Rowan walked in and made eye contact with her. Immediately, his resting bitch face morphed into a grin, “Hey, Fireheart!” Rowan made his way towards Aelin’s seat.

Aelin looked up from the all-too interesting black dust speck and carefully crafted her response, smiling smugly, “Buzzard! I’m surprised you’re not carrying a mountain of chocolates with you.”

Rowan smirked, “Well, I have my own agenda to account for today.” Rowan peered at Aelin expectantly. Aelin only stared back. Was he trying to communicate telepathically with her somehow? She would have to remind him again that it wouldn’t work. “But I’m also wondering-- “

Before Rowan could finish, their teacher walked in and silenced the room with her eerie screeching throughout the class. Rowan, about to quickly tell Aelin something, hastily turned back around towards the board at the lecturing tone of their teacher, who reminded him that class had already started.

Aelin was confused. But she figured he would tell her later. They sat at lunch together with the rest of their friends anyway. During the entirety of the class, Aelin couldn’t help but wonder what he was going to ask her. He looked at her as if he was expecting something, but he also looked hesitant to ask her about whatever he wanted to ask. His idiotic face was too much for her to think about right now. What did he expect from her? Chocolates? No, she was still on the brink of destroying those utter atrocities. She had yet to decide whether she still wanted to give them to him, but considering the way he acted towards everyone else who tried to give him something, she was leaning to not.

Towards the end of class, Aelin packed up her bag and readied her materials for her next class. Next period she had to turn in a paper before class started. Otherwise, it would be considered late.

When the bell rang signaled for Passing period, Rowan turned back around in his seat to approach Aelin again, but she remarked, “I’ll see you at lunch! I have a paper to turn in!” and ran out of the classroom.

At lunch, she found the usual table already occupied by her friends who were already discussing intensely about the events of their day so far. It was apparent that everyone already had dozens of boxes of treats set out before them. She sat down next to Lysandra and inquired about her friends’ large collections, “How do you guys already have so many chocolates?  It’s literally lunch and we only sat through three periods of the day so far,” Aelin was seriously concerned with the popularity of her own friends. With their collection alone, they could feed a whole nation. The total costs of all of the gifts themselves could probably amount to the entire GDP of England or something.

“Well, Aelin, it’s all because of my infinitesimal charm. It’s also a little process I like to call, ‘accept and accept’” replied Fenrys jokingly.

“No, I’m specifically wondering why YOU, of all people, have been offered chocolate!” Aelin grinned back. She loved joking with Fenrys. But now she wondered why she ended up empty handed. No one had offered her anything yet. Maybe she had been too much of an oddball at school to make any sort of formidable impression among her peers. Was she too unapproachable? She watched the exchange between Lysandra and Aedion. She guessed that eighty percent of the gifts that Lysandra received were from Aedion. It would have been nice to receive something too…

Next, she observed Rowan. He had resigned from any conversation to focus all of his concentration on his food to ignore Fenrys, who kept berating him with a small box of special hazelnut chocolates Fenrys had gotten from Russia. That especially looked appetizing. “Come on, Rowan! I ordered these a few days ago just for you! They taste just like Nutella!”

Rowan grumbled something incoherent and concentrated harder onto his food.

Fenrys eyebrows furrowed. He turned away from Rowan to face Aelin. An idea must have hit him because soon his disappointed expression morphed into that of a devious one. Aelin waited to brace herself for whatever rambunctious idea that Fenrys had apparently come up with. “So Aelin, would you mind-”

The movement was so fast, the whole table fell silent at the abrupt speed that had been displayed. Rowan had swiped the hazelnut chocolates from Fenrys, tucked them besides his lunch, and resumed eating. Aelin was shocked about what had just happened. Lysandra and Aedion, who had paused their conversation, both resumed their exchange. Their talking had seemed to lower even more so in volume, almost to that of whispers, discussing whatever between themselves that had to be kept a secret from all of them. Expressions coy, they traded little smiles and light touches between each other. Fenrys’ only response to Rowan’s reaction was a gleeful smile of victory. He continued to badger Rowan as they both ate.

Aelin scrutinized the little box of chocolates that Rowan had kept next to his lunch container. Damn, she really wanted them. She was so ready to accept them from Fenrys if Rowan hadn’t stolen them away. As if he sensed her watching his chocolates, he gracefully gathered them closer towards himself, out of her reach. Aelin huffed in resignation. There was no way she could attempt to steal the treats now.

While everyone had an endless supply of chocolates, where were hers? She was the ultimate chocolate connoisseur. She was the most qualified to be receiving chocolates. This kind of school event was made for her! She should have been receiving all sorts of things now. She knew she wasn’t exactly the nicest person in the school, nor a typical rich kid that could lure others to be her friend, but she wasn’t a fiend! Consequently, her own source of chocolates from this day were the chocolates that she had made herself… and while those things were chocolate, under her jurisdiction, they were not qualified to be considered as such. To top it all off, she hadn’t even made those chocolates for herself.

She looked out at the other tables. A group of girls cheered as they exchanged little boxes with bows tied atop. She saw another guy blush and shyly present a heart-shaped box to another girl. Groups mingled and high fived each other as they handed out treats to each other. Aelin’s felt an unpleasant tug in her chest as she observed students carry out the gift-giving event.

But as Aelin turned her attention back to her own table, she had realized that her friends had exchanged chocolates without her. She watched Fenrys play Jenga out of the boxes that he received and Lysandra and Aedion in their own world. Rowan only kept Fenrys’ chocolate, but that was because he had turned down all of the other gifts throughout the day. She looked at the collection of chocolates that Lysandra and Aedion scattered around them on the table and zeroed in on two tiny red-wrapped boxes of hazelnut chocolates that have been imported from Russia.

Aelin frowned. Suddenly those hazelnut chocolates didn’t look so appetizing anymore. Nor any of the other chocolates that she had seen exchanged today. She couldn’t control the feeling of her lips starting to tremble or the sudden deep tugging in her chest that felt like a million bricks had settled atop her chest. She tentatively rose from her seat at the table. Her long bangs shielded her misted eyes from the group, fortunately covering her face as she remarked shakily, “I just remembered I had an assignment due next period. I’ll see you guys later.”

As Aelin stood up, about to leave, Rowan called, “Wait, Aelin, you’ve barely touched your food.”

Aedion chimed in, “Yeah, you should eat at least a little bit, Aelin. We still have three more periods to go.”

It was true. Aelin had just gotten back from class and knew that she’d only sat for a few minutes. She had barely touched her lunch. But the gnawing in her gut diminished her usually ravenous appetite. Aelin pulled on a smile. It was strange how exhausting it felt to force her lips to tug in a motion that was so effortless and natural to execute only moments before. She couldn’t see the group’s reaction, but responded, “I’m suddenly just not hungry anymore.” She pivoted herself around so as to not face the group and walked out of the cafeteria in haste.

It was bad enough that sometimes she had felt like an outsider at her own school. But the feeling only solidified today as she truly realized the reality of her position. She interacted and got along with her classmates well and participated in class, and although she was not as close to her peers she wanted to be, compared to herself and her usual group, it hit her that one of her classmates had passed out goodie bags of candy corn to everyone in the class but her. She didn’t realize it until the end of class when she asked her classmate why everyone held the same goodie bag. It didn’t bother her that much because she was eager to go to lunch… but now it was at the forefront of her mind. And now? She felt like an outsider to her own lunch group.

Her footsteps thudded through the hall. They sounded louder than usual, as if she were the only one walking through them. There were a few people loitering the hallway, yet they felt so far away. This small stretch of space that usually felt so narrow and crowded now felt like it could stretch for miles. All Aelin could hear right now were her footsteps. Everything else was muted. Her thoughts whirled, a simultaneous mess of gibberish and nothingness and everything at the same time. Her steps carried her to her locker, where she now beheld the little, golden, heart-shaped box. She didn’t have the heart to throw out the hours of work that she put into the little monstrosities, but…

Rowan had been offered chocolates that had probably cost more than her whole month’s rent. Fenrys’ were from Russia for fuck’s sake. If he had trouble accepting even his own friend’s presents, what were the odds of him accepting hers? It’s not like she was any different as a person compared to her friends. But even so, what did she have to offer? She was poor. She walked in rags and everyone else lept in riches. Aelin felt the tears that she fought so hard to suppress well up and stream down her face. If she could physically put a price on how much she felt she owed Rowan, the number would be in the thousands. Millions. What did crippled, deformed chocolates amount to compared to the things that these daughters and sons of millionaires could afford and buy without even batting an eye?

Rowan had given her so much. So, so much. Friendship. Laughter. Dessert... And something else she was so afraid to put into words. She knew it in her heart earlier when she began thinking of what to gift him. She knew what she had felt when she tried to make the chocolates over and over again. She knew what she was trying to convince away from herself when she stood at her locker this morning and watched Rowan reject gift after gift.

But she wouldn’t admit it now. Couldn’t. She was far too stubborn. She tightly gripped the box in her hands and closed her locker door. She gripped the box so hard the cheap cardboard repaid her in wrinkles and a large, thumb-sized dent. The box looked so worn. Its cover was dented and soiled with the scent of salt; the bow she so proudly tied together flopped, weighed down from its damp ends, saturated by her tears.

Aelin smuggled the box into her backpack and slid down the wall of lockers to settle on the floor.

-----

She avoided the group the rest of the day, but she often saw Rowan in the distance. During class, Aelin once looked out the window and saw Rowan casually standing a few meters away from her classroom. As if he sensed the instance she noticed his presence, he immediately walked in the opposite direction of her classroom. During Passing period, she would often see Rowan walk in her direction. But when she saw him nearing, she took a detour. She was successful in avoiding the others the whole day, but somehow it was as if Rowan was everywhere.

At break, she noticed that when she walked to her spot, Rowan was already there, so she walked away quickly. But when she went to another room, it was like he appeared out of nowhere. Today, to her dismay, it seemed that he was just always within her vicinity.

After school, she made up her mind. This would be the last time she would interact with any of them. This would serve as her final good bye, and a big “fuck you” to Rowan’s asshole rejections.

She walked outside of the school to the spot they usually meet up at to walk home together. As Aelin neared, she scowled at a line that had seemed to form. But a line for what? Her eyes traced the direction of the line to its head. Who would have thought. A line to present chocolates to Rowan Whitethorn. It seemed as though many people had acquired the same idea as she had. But now, the energy in the crowd that had gathered felt even more intense than that of this morning.

The line consisted of both girls and guys. They lined up one after another. A tall, athletic guy Aelin knew as Jasen presented a large box of Japanese candy and asserted, “Hey Rowan! The basketball team all pitched in to buy this for you. We really appreciate you for helping us in our championship game.” Rowan wasn’t officially on the team, but secretly subbed in the last quarter, he had ended up scoring the winning basket. “Hopefully we can play again sometime,” Jasen smiled.

Rowan replied lamely, “... I hate mushroom-shaped, matcha flavored konpeito.”

The group of guys that encouraged their friend to approach Rowan argued amongst themselves. “Why did you give him those? Did he seem like a mushroom-shaped, matcha-flavor konpeito type of guy to you?!”

A girl with brunette curls and sun-kissed skin came forward, “Rowan, I’ve always wanted to thank you for helping me last year. It really meant a lot to me, and I don’t want anything in return, but it would make me really happy if you could accept these…?”

Rowan inspected the chocolates and flowers she held out to him and examined the brunette’s face. The crowd was silent, eagerly waiting for his response. Will he accept them? He would actually be an asshole if he didnt, thought Aelin.

“Sorry, I don’t think I remember helping you, so I can’t accept these.”

The girl insisted, “It’s Lyria. You helped deliver flowers to the hospital with me to my parents last year.”

“Oh, well, Lyria, I’m sorry, but it’s just that I actually don’t remember you… so,” Rowan shifted uneasily.

“Buzzard,” Aelin cursed at Rowan’s bad memory. He was actually the worst.

The line increasingly reduced as he rejected person after person. No matter the reason, no matter how intensely they felt about him, Rowan rejected them. But also after each rejection, came an energy of rejuvenation as the next person somehow felt even more fired up to present their gift. The courage was astounding.

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry-”

“Sorry, I-”

After what seemed like hours, the mile-long line had dwindled to nothing. Rowan had accepted absolutely no one’s gifts. But the crowd remained, eager to see who would bravely face him next. This event had in some way transitioned into a spirited competition of who could possibly get Rowan Whitethorn to accept their gift. This competition would forever be embedded in the yearbooks. The energy was wild. It was legendary. No one so far had accomplished this feat. Aelin could tell people had lost any sense of unease. No matter one’s status or wealth, everyone had been rejected just because. And by the time the line had dwindled down to twenty, not one had felt shame in approaching him, no less in offering him their gifts in fear of rejection.

Aelin looked around. It seemed that there was no one else who wanted to approach him. They were all defeated. They only waited for the next person to advance toward him. She sucked in her feelings and walked down towards him in an air of pridefulness. No matter, she was just going to do what she had to do and go about her life.

Although the path towards him was only a few feet, it seemed like she had walked for an endless number of miles. She had turned her attention towards the ground as she walked, so, so hesitant to take the next step. But her mind fought to keep her walking towards him. She needed to do this for him. She needed to do this for herself. It was like everything was muted again. The chatter surrounding them faded to a dull white noise and as she looked up towards his face-- as he commenced to close the distance from where he stood all those dozens of times students tried to propose to him. His pine green eyes met her turquoise blue. She couldn’t deny the sudden intensity in them, compared to the obvious disinterest that he had shown to others time and time beforehand. His mouth firm, but in awe as if struck by her presence. There it was, his usual, idiotic Buzzard face.

Now, they stood only a few inches apart. She glowered at him and he bored his eyes back into hers. They were so close Aelin could smell his scent of pine and snow. She didn’t know what to make of his reaction, because they had only just stared at each other, as if the first person to speak would shatter the electric energy that peaked in the atmosphere, as if the other person would explode into pieces just from their speech alone. Aelin was addicted to this energy whenever she was with him. When they were walking home together, when they hung out at each other’s houses, or when they had bought each other ice cream and devoured them on the flowery grass at the park. No, Aelin was mistaken. She could never say goodbye to Rowan. She could only ever welcome him back into her life, welcome back an even stronger relationship than they had initially formed.

But, when she finally chose to speak first, “Rowan, I-”

At the same time, Rowan uttered, “Fireheart, I’ve-”

Aelin’s cheeks noticeably burned. The realization of what she was doing finally had caught up to her. Her face burned even hotter as if she was branded by the 350°F heat of a thousand ovens baking chocolate chip cookies. As she looked at Rowan’s face, she couldn’t help but feel relieved at his instant blush as well. “You go first,” Aelin said.

At Aelin’s command, Rowan proceeded, “I’ve been waiting for you. Since this morning, I just-”

But Aelin was too impatient. She had steeled her mind from any sort of rejection. She primed herself and wanted to get it over with, so she took up the heart-shaped box she held in her hands and cut him off, “No!”

Rowan immediately stopped himself and looked at her, bewildered.

This was the first time Aelin would let herself acknowledge her feelings. At this realization, she had wanted to let him know. She wanted him to know her feelings. As she replayed her interactions with him for the past five months she’s known him in her mind throughout her classes today, she knew that she had to use today to finally get her feelings out. She would hurt afterwards, but at least he would know, because every little thought of hers had been crashing down on her lately. He was on her mind everyday. She would hurt but Aelin knew she had the ability to slowly put herself back together again.

And so, Aelin took her stance.

She exhaled harshly,

And aggressively shoved the box against his broad chest.

The crowd around them was stunned at this sudden development.

“When I first came to Greenbriar, I never expected to form close ties with anyone. But it was you who had worn down the iron walls I had so carefully crafted up, because of your stupid, stupid idiocy, and I,” Aelin paused, “And today,”  She took a deep breath, “Today I really wanted to get rid of you and Fenrys and Lysandra and Aedion from my stupid life because I-- I felt hurt.” Aelin closed her eyes to collect herself.

“Fireheart, I can-”

“No, I need to say this… Just, let me get this out… please.” Aelin regained her composure and started again, “When I thought about cutting ties with you guys, I recounted all of the memories we made together in these five months alone. I have never felt so happy in my life before I came here, and I realized it was because of everyone. And then I remembered those times you picked me up in the middle of the night and took me to this beautiful, beautiful spot to admire the stars. I recounted how I knew my heart began to mend so slowly; it was so slow, but it was healing, and I knew it was only because I was with you. So I realized I could never say goodbye. Not ever. ”

“So,” She picked a crease on Rowan’s shirt to focus on, looked up into his eyes, which crinkled  back immediately in response, and shouted at him, “Rowan, I like you! Accept my chocolates!”

Rowan peered down at her. A visible blush painted his cheeks and the corner of his lips quirked upwards into a small smile. Rowan closed his large hands around Aelin’s small ones, gently taking up the marred heart-shaped box from her hands, and pulled Aelin into a tight embrace. He enclosed her within his arms and held her tight, as if he feared she would fly away from him. In response, Aelin instinctively leaned into the crook of his shoulder. Rowan bent down to bury himself within her hair. They fit together perfectly. He couldn’t get enough of her, and she, him.

Rowan pulled back from her hair to face Aelin, grinning, “Fireheart, of course I’ll accept your chocolates.” Without letting Aelin out of his embrace, Rowan tugged on the ribbon of the box and popped one of the chocolates in his mouth. “Mm, as expected from my Fireheart. They don’t taste like chocolates at all.”

Aelin glared back up at him as Rowan licked some of the remnants from his finger and continued, “But, Miss Chocolate Connoisseur, this is truly unacceptable.”

“What now?” Aelin sunk in deeper into his embrace.

Rowan reached into his pocket, “You’re simply not qualified to be the one giving out chocolates. It’s demeaning of you.” He pulls out a key and slips it into Aelin’s palm.

Aelin’s brows furrowed in confusion and inspected the key that Rowan placed in her hand, “Are you trying to ask me to move in with you or something? I think that’s a bit fast, don’t you think? You didn’t even kiss me yet.”

Rowan’s cheeks burned further, “It’s the key to the Godiva store in downtown. You can enter the store and take whatever you want, whenever.”

“Even when it’s closed?”

“Even when it’s closed. And on that note, I’m sorry for how you felt today… I know I hurt you, I was supposed to give you this key this morning,” Rowan looked away and whispered, “Yesterday, I... threatened the whole student body to not gift anything to you because,” Rowan spoke even more softly, so that only Aelin could hear, “Fireheart, you’re mine to spoil. I want you to know that I love you. Out of every single person in this school, out of every single person on this earth, and perhaps even the universe, you’re the only person I would accept chocolates from. The only person I’ll concede to, fall for, and let my heart be stolen from.”

Aelin looked at him and traced the swirls of his tattoo with her eyes, like she had done a thousand times already whenever they were together. She felt her heart swell. It was healed. Her heart had fully healed. Its tiny cracks mended and now the weight of her heart that initially only served to weigh her down made her feel so so light, she was afraid she would accidentally soar into the sky. So, Aelin stood on her tiptoes, reached up to grab at Rowan’s hair to pull him down at her level and muttered, “Territorial bastard,” before crashing her lips onto his to feel the electricity between them once more.

[arthurjdrake]

Timing: Prior to the pie contest. Parties: @chasseurdeloup & Arthur Place: Arthur's House. Summary: Wanting to size up the competition, Kaden tracks a rather evasive bird.

Arthur stood in his kitchen, humming along to the tune playing out of the nearby speaker while occupied in the task of rolling out the pie dough, his old wooden rolling pin clacking at both ends with each smooth press and turn of the dough. There was no recipe on the counter, just a collection of potential combinations for fillings that he would test as he went. His baking never had really been about having a plan. Plans often went awry, and part of the fun was figuring it out as you went. It was cathartic and rather soothing, the smooth roll of the wood over the flour-dusted counter. Things had started to get back into a rhythm now that he was out of hospital. There were still jobs around the house that needed doing. Clean-up after the mime attack was still a current issue in the back of his mind in the form of the dark black marks on his white-oak floorboards. It was going to cost an arm and a leg to replace, but it needed to be done. He was just about to begin the process of draping the dough across the pie plate when he heard it - a loud crash outside. His heart leapt, suddenly trip-hammering as he glanced out the window while reaching for the nearby wooden knife rack. He stood silent and vigil waiting to hear if anything followed.

There were too many things going to shit in Kaden’s life. He just wanted to feel in control of one thing. One stupid tiny thing to go in his favor. The pie contest, he might lose, sure, but he needed to know the competition as best he could. And he knew exactly who his competition was. Arthur and his “incredible” pies. Maybe it was stupid to go and spy on the guy to see what he was making but he couldn’t get any intel online. And he was in the area. It was fine. He had an assignment around the corner, nothing about this was suspicious. Kaden tried to peek in the window from across the way, just to maybe see what fruit was there on the counter, one hint. But he couldn’t see much. Just that someone who was vaguely Arthur shaped was inside and doing things. Putain. He’d have to get closer. With a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure no one was watching, he crept closer to the window. The competition was baking. Perfect. If he had any qualms about getting even closer, they were gone now. Hopefully he wouldn’t notice. And if he did, Kaden would just claim there was a raccoon or something. He found a sizable rock and stepped on top, trying to get a better angle. As he stretched out his body, reaching to see a little more, he felt a sting of pain in his side. Fuck, still healing, he forgot. He stumbled and lost his balance, reaching out for anything to catch his fall. There was nothing, but he did crash into the watering can and other gardening supplies there on the lawn. The clash was not subtle. Shit. Maybe he could sneak away unnoticed. He went to stand up and his side screamed in pain. Well, guess running away wasn’t an option.

Arthur wasn’t one for gardening, spending excessive amounts of time outdoors digging around in dirt wasn’t really his idea of a good time. But Mercy had been insistent on coming over and working on the rather sad looking flowerbeds. Whether this was just another excuse to keep an eye on him, he wasn’t sure, but there was no harm in it and if it kept her from fussing then there was no real need to be concerned. The one thing was, she never put the damn tools away after she was done with them; preferring to leave them out by the side of the house for ease of access the next time she came. He couldn’t always be bothered to put them away and today it seemed they were also another layer of announcement that something was outside. Grabbing his phone off the counter and cancelling the music, he kept the small paring knife handy as he headed for the side door. Slipping on the pair of shoes there he unlocked the door and stepped outside peering around curiously. It was probably just some animal, best to check the bins anyway, he was just walking round the side path when he came upon a very human sized shape on the ground and his eyebrows rose towards his hairline as did the knife just a fraction. “What the--?” He stared at the figure until he recognised just who it was on the ground and the knife lowered, “Kaden? What are you doing down there?”

Kaden was in the middle of trying to push himself up when he saw Arthur running out with a knife. Putain. He almost flopped back over in pure defeat. This was at best embarrassing and at worst very fucking bad. “Uh, hi. Sorry about the,” he started as he got onto his knees and looked over at the flower beds and gardening supplies. It was all a mess to say the least. Pretty sure something was a little trampled. He tried to clumsily rearrange things, fumbling to put the tools back in place, but they mostly just fell and clanged around some more. As he stood, he tried to fluff back up one of the plants and it simply sagged. Right. Fuck. That wasn’t working so he stood instead, wincing in pain as he did. “There was-- Hi. Right. I was called out to look for a, um, a lost… bird. A bird. And I thought I saw it over… there.” He whirled around and pointed off in a direction with almost no trees. Great. “I’m sorry. I know this is private property. I’m overstepping. I just got a little carried away. Thought I almost had him.” It ws then Kaden realized he didn’t have a single fucking thing on him tocatch any animal at all. Let alone a bird. No cage. No net. Putain.

Arthur lowered the knife gripped tightly in his hand when he saw the sprawled form of the other man on the floor outside. He remained in the doorway, looking rather perplexed as Kaden began to try and get up out of the righteous mess of gardening supplies outside. “Ah lort,” he muttered under his breath at the sight of the trampled flower beds. He’d have to explain that one to Mercy. She wouldn’t be impressed even as Kaden tried to pet the leaves back upright where they drooped sadly in place. “A bird?” he repeated giving Kaden a curious look, following the point of his finger towards the distance. “Then if you saw it over there…” he nodded in the referenced direction, before his gaze returned to Kaden by the trampled flower beds “why are you over here?” It seemed rather suspicious. And the slow way he seemed to contemplate the issue seemed to give away his mind was on a similar track to where Kaden had concluded “it’s fine..., But would you not like… need something to catch a bird? A net or a cage or something? They can’t be easy to catch by hand…”

Putain de merde . This was a disaster. Kaden should turn and run. Just run. It’d be easier. But no, he couldn’t without immense pain. Were his wounds bleeding? Shit, they were definitely bleeding a little. Putain. “It, uh,” he rubbed the back of his neck, trying to figure out how to explain it. “It was over here. First. Almost had it. Flew away. As birds… do.” He was going to get stabbed or get the police called on him. Sure, alright, he was the police. Kind of. Not sure it counted right now. “You’re right. I do need that. Wow, I cannot believe I forgot that. I am going to go. Now. And go get that. From my car. Which is not here. It’s somewhere else.” He thought he might be able to inch away but, uh, well he was here. “You’re alright, though? Bird was’t, uh bothering you? Are you working on that pie now? Think i may have seen you in the kitchen. Not that I was looking.” Smooth. Very smooth. He should still try to run.

Arthur remained on the top step that led down to the path beside the garden. There was no denying the fact Kaden seemed to be in pain and as he reached a hand back to scratch his neck Arthur noticed some specks of red beginning to faintly stain the material. He noted it mentally but didn’t remark. “Did you get hurt in the fall?” there was a minor note of concern even with the suspicion as to why Kaden was here. Even with the strange way the man was acting, Arthur could rather easily set aside smaller issues for more pressing matters which in his mind injury constituted. What a strange man. “Hm? Oh, yeah I’m fine… No, no didn’t hear anything ‘til your tumble… Strange… I wonder what it was doing over here...” his head cocked a little glancing over his shoulder for a moment before his eyes flickered to the window, the rock and back to Kaden. A quick assessment of how Kaden had fallen considering which plants had been squashed and Kaden’s own very badly concealed self-confirmation gave him all the answers he needed. So he wanted to play it off as a bird incident? Well, two could play at that game. “I was. Decided to keep things simple… Did you want a drink or something? Coffee or tea? That sounded like a fair fall you took… Must’ve hurt.”

“Hmm? Oh, this?” Kaden said as he looked down at his wounds. Fuck, that looked worse then he’d hoped. “Nah, got it on the job a few days ago. Big angry animal. Teeth. Claws. This just reopened it is all.” He tried to step to the side a little. Just one step to angle himself farther away from the house. Maybe it’d give him an out to leave. He could lie. Say he saw the bird. Even though he was fairly positive Arthur would never buy it. Not that he would either if he were in his shoes. Then he saw the realization wash over the other man’s face and he tried not to wince too badly. Damn smart bastard. He was really ready to book it when Arthur invited him in. Kaden’s brow creased and his head tilted slightly. Not what he saw coming. “Oh, uh, I don’t mean to intru--” Too late for that. But then a thought hit him. He could spy a lot easier from inside the house. “Actually, uh, yeah. I would. If you’re sure. It’d be nice to wipe this down at least,” he said, gesturing to his shirt, indicating the wounds underneath. “Sorry to waste your time like this.” The guy was nicer than he expected. Which only dug under his skin a little.

“Ouch,” Arthur winced as Kaden explained about this big bad animal he’d had to deal with, there was genuine sympathy in the look. In all honesty, even if Kaden was here for the reason Arthur suspected it didn’t mean he couldn’t equally be concerned about the blood that seemed to be staining the fabric. “I think we’re a bit past that point,” Arthur waved off the beginnings of his protest, if Kaden didn’t mean to intrude he wouldn’t be a hundred meters from the main road around the back of Arthur’s house without having first knocked on the door to announce his presence. But that was neither here nor there really. “Don’t worry about it,” he backed up, leaving the door open for Kaden to follow. The double french-doors opened immediately into an open-plan living-kitchen diner area, warm and homely with plenty of windows to let light shine in and illuminate the space naturally while offering views of the ocean beyond. “There’s a bathroom just past the pantry, first aid kit’s in the cupboard beneath the sink. Should have some stuff in there you can use.” He made his way back through to the kitchen, taking the time to drape a tea-towel over some of the plates ‘to keep the flies off’ the ingredients set out. “You look more of a coffee than a tea guy,” he remarked moving to grab a moka pot out of the cupboard along with a couple of mugs.

Kaden followed inside and tried not to be too wonderstruck by the sheer size of the house as he stepped inside. Sure, he’d seen it from the outside, but the interior was just as nice. Spacious and inviting. Not empty but not crowded either. His eyes peeled away from the tall ceilings just long enough to follow Arthur’s line of sight and instructions to the bathroom. “Thanks,” he said as he started walking in that direction. “Coffee, you’re right.” The bathroom wasn’t too far off from the kitchen. He rummaged under the sink and started to clean and redress his wounds with the gauze there. With the door open, he could still hear Arthur loud and clear. “Though I have to say, it’s been a while now since I’ve had a truly good cup of espresso. The cafes here are fine and all but the best here barley seem to compare to the mediocre back home.” Possibly harsher than reality, but his love of good coffee bought out strong opinions. “I’m sure you have similar opinions on the tea here. I heard many a complaint about the use of tea bags in certain establishments.” The bandages looked alright enough. They definitely weren’t getting any better by his hands, that was for sure. He could already see Regan having a field day with his handiwork. Once he was done, he put the kit away and headed back into the kitchen. To his dismay, the ingredients on the counter were covered. Putain. He knew he should have paid more attention on the way in, but he thought he’d have more time to scout. He tried to discern what sorts of shapes were under the towels and what could be hidden underneath, but they were too obscured. He’d never know. He considered scooting over to the counter and just subtly taking a peek under the towels.

There were still odd jobs that needed doing around the house, but for the most part Arthur was starting to finally settle in at his new address. “Yeah, White Crest leaves a lot to be desired in its beverage options… I asked for tea and got given iced tea which is a minor tragedy I still haven’t entirely recovered from…” the memory made him shiver a little “the amount of sugar in that shit is crazy… Makes you wonder how any of them still have teeth.” He had to laugh a little, despite his strangeness it was ironic how similar they viewed certain mundane things of existence. It made Arthur wonder just what Kaden’s gripe really was that they couldn’t somehow get along. While Kaden was busy, Arthur set about getting the moka pot heating through on the stove; a unique little contraption that he’d picked up during his time in italy. If there was one thing that could be said about them they could make a pretty kicker coffee. While that was running he went to open another cupboard and took out a small glass vial filled with a crystal clear liquid that he carefully poured into one of the mugs. The freshly brewed coffee was transferred to this cup, stirred a few times and set out on the center island of the kitchen. Next, he brewed up his own cup of coffee leaving it to steep a while, weak tea truly was the bane of his existence. “Any milk?” He noticed a couple of times in moving around the kitchen how Kaden eyed some of the things out on the counter, hardly surreptitious in what he was looking at. But Arthur knew how to bring a conversation away from a certain focal point, “so what kind of bird was it?”

As Arthur prepared the coffee, Kaden took it upon himself to slowly “admire” the kitchen. Casually looking around at the cupboards, the counter tops, the plates hiding the pie in question under towels on top of said countertops. Just one corner, he could make it subtle. His fingertips reached out to touch the edge of the towel when Arthur spoke again. His head shot up and his hand dropped flat to his side. “Sugar? Tea?” He shook his head and played back everything the man just said. “Right. Yeah, you have to wonder. So many things here are just too sweet I don’t see the appeal. I mean, of course in a good pastry or pie, you want a bit of sweetness. It’s the point. But there’s sweet and then there’s just a mouthful of sugar.” He cringed thinking of one of the danishes he’d tried at one of the cafes. It had been a mistake. He had the feeling Arthur understood. And if he got some insight into that goddamn pie, all the better. “No milk, thanks. I saw how you prepared it. I doubt it needs any help.” He considered faking a stumble and tripping into one of the plates just to find out what was there, but that would sabotage. Not his angle. He wasn’t there to ruin anyone else’s efforts, just size up the competition, see what he had to raise to. If he had to outright cheat to win that wouldn’t feel like a win at all. He sat, eyes still drifting to the ingredients sitting there right out of sight, taunting him, and once again had to snap back to Arthur. “Bird?” His brow creased. Putain . That was right. “Bird. Right. It was, a, uh, a…” He couldn’t even remember if he’d said pet or wild bird before. He took a sip of his coffee to buy some time. It was obnoxiously wonderful. “That’s good. Really. Thanks.” Fairly certain he said lost. “Cockatoo. Lost pet, you know. Really thought I had it.�� Another sip of his coffee. Strange. He must have needed to change the dressings on his wounds more than he’d thought. His side wasn’t quite burning with pain anymore. It felt settled somehow. Maybe this was just some damn good coffee.

It was entertaining, to dangle the carrot and watch Kaden jump like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar whenever he tried his hand at the antics he was even here for. “Well, of course but like you say those need to be somewhat sweet, not overly so though of course,” at Kaden’s denial of milk, Arthur nodded and poured a dash into his own before returning it to the fridge. He turned back to lean casually against the counter where the ingredients sat covered, the mug held loosely between his palms kept warm by the constant heat of his natural body-heat. “Best purchase I ever made, I know people take the piss but Italians sure do know the best way to navigate a cup of coffee… I once went to Padua and I tried this Pedrocchi coffee - it’s a regional speciality, mint and espresso - who would’ve thought? But damn, it works so well.” He lifted the mug and took a sip of his tea watching Kaden fumble over the story he’d dropped himself in. “Oh yeah? Who was the owner? I’ll be sure to check in and let them know I’ll keep an eye out as well.”

“Oh yeah. All about balance. All that. Of course.” Maybe if he angled himself just right, Kaden could catch a whiff of the ingredients. Of course when he breathed deep to try, all the could smell were the pungent aromas of good coffee. It really was the best cup he’d had in months. Hated admitting that. “They do. Not that I’d ever tell a single Italian that to their face. I can’t let them feel that superior. They don’t need my help.” Kaden wanted to roll his eyes at the mention of Padua and what not. Did he sound like this when he talked about French wine? Putain, probably. He resisted the urge but just barely. “That does sound good, though. Maybe I’ll try it someday if I ever make it back across the Atlantic.” That necessitated not dying in fucking White Crest, Maine first. A hard thing to avoid. Kaden took an extra long sip of his coffee at the further questioning, trying to make sure his eyes didn’t go too wide and panicked outwardly. Putain. What was a common American name? “John, uh…” Doe was not the name he wanted. “You know, I don’t remember his last name. Just John. All I got. Real shame he lost it. The bird.”

“No? Huh, I feel it’s worth telling anyone if something’s truly good and enjoyable… Gives that person the best kind of incentive to carry on doing that level of great work.” After all, in Arthur’s mind if you didn’t tell people things were good what was the reason for them to think it was worth it? He did his best to pass gratitude on, knowing the times in the past the thought of things he’d done for people had helped him push through the bad. “I’m not sure they feel superior… I know a fair few Italians who are very grounded.” It seemed a little stereotypical to hear Kaden say that in all honesty, but maybe he hadn’t met many? “I could probably find the recipe if you want it?” Maybe next time there was a community event he’d do that. But talk returned to the bird and Arthur’s features grew thoughtful “huh, I don’t know any John's round here… Did he give you the bird’s name? Any pictures? I’d be happy to keep an eye out if you’d like?”

Kaden wanted to roll his eyes again. What a goody goody teacher thing to say. “Sometimes certain people don’t need their egos boosted. Their heads are big enough already.” Sometimes people needed to be taken down a peg. And if he could just. See. Those. Ingredients. No luck. “Come on, it’s just a friendly rivalry, you know. It’s not about individuals. Just ribbing, that’s all.” He had to wonder if Arthur was the type to joke around much or tease. It struck him that wasn’t really how he operated. Too nice to everyone. Why that dug under Kaden’s skin a little, he couldn’t say. “A name? Um-- Tweety. It was cliche, I know.” He gave a nervous laugh. “At least it wasn't a canary, right?” This was getting to be too much. And oh look, the coffee was gone. Kaden raised his arm and looked at his watch very pointedly. “Oh wow, is that the time? I-- oh wow, this just, it was so great, I didn’t think I’d been here that long. I really have to go. Other assignments. Dogs to find. Cats in trees. All of that.” When he stood and started to walk away, he realized just how little his side hurt. He didn’t even feel like he had to hobble a little or wince too much with each footfall. Guess they were really good bandages. “Thanks for the coffee and not--” Reporting him. “You know. Thanks. Good luck with the pie.” As Kaden left, he felt pretty stupid for the whole thing. Maybe he should just accept that some people were nicer than him and just meant well and had talents. Or he could go home and make the best fucking pie he could posssible manage and win that stupid contest instead.

[theplumsoldier]

STEVE IS IN LOVE

Summary: reader has been friends with steve rogers for some time and colleagues for even longer. circumstances had separated them for a while and y/n has never been more in need of a friend. also, not particularly proud of this, but i wrote it and thats that, do hope someone might find it in them to enjoy it nonetheless.

Pairing: steve rogers x reader

Word count: 4941

Warnings: vulgar language, angst.

“Hello there, Methuselah,” hailed you, attracting the attention of your favorite Captain. Diverged from his channel of thoughts, Steve Rogers turned in his moderate march, the white in his azure eyes widening and the steel in the blue softening at what he acknowledged as a divine sight.

“Y/N,” tasted Steve, subtly taking in the beauty in which you emitted. He failed to assimilate the rationale for your entry, immediately fearing the worst as he barely remembered the last time, he had seen you and he shifted, tentatively allowing the hug you claimed and distanced himself to regard any worry upon your features. “What are you doing here?”

“Do I need an excuse to see a friend now?” chuckled she, her hand brushing up to his face to remove the sod he seemed laden with. “Did you just get back? Bruce told me you were on an early-morning sortie.”

His hand came to wipe his brow, removing what sweat he imagined had gathered. “Yeah, it eh—it was

“You came all the way here just to ask me if I wanted a drink?”

Giving him a coy smile of invitation, your brows bounced as you walked close to him. “I mean, I had some business to run over with Bruce as well, but sure, you can take the compliment.”

Steve’s head dropped in a chuckle,

“Go get changed. I’ll see to the rest and then we can take off.”

. . .

In a bar on 42nd sat a Captain and his favorite girl, large beer glasses on the table, some filled and others not. In the corner of the room the two were nonchalantly exchanging stories; stories of contemporary topics, stories of world problems, of love as well as mishap, and of some belonging to the recollection which Steve had been nigh on neglecting and for that he cursed at himself. So much had happened during this time of calamity. He had been surrounded by tragedy and death for all too long. He knew nothing but the cold feel of his heavy heart, he had grown used to the weight pulling at his shoulders and Steve he would never admit to it, but he was growing pacific to snapping the life from another man.

He had not realized just how much he had needed this until your laughter stimulated his heart and it was beating for you and only you. How he needed you now and—gosh! Steve is in love.

The song on the stereo faded into the chatter of the crowd and Steve exhaled, for once in a long time, not feeling that prying pain in his chest. Instead, it had been replaced by a quick pounding sensation, one of affection rather than that of exhaust and melancholy. He never was one to waste his time, not much for allowing people to play around with him, make a fool of him; not until he got the chance to do something about that. And you never had given him any indication you were toying with his feelings, perhaps because he thought you to be unaware of said emotion, still, those moments in which you shared he felt weak. Exposed and breakable like the finest, most feeble glass forged, and somehow you still managed to build him up and make him feel as if he could conquer the world. It kept him awake at night—drifting off to the echo of your voice, the memory of your fine features, the idea of your touch but that could only be a fantasy.

Steve slid from the pensive mood and shifted opposite you, tilting his head and nodding. “What about that guy—Ron?”

“John,” you rectified, following with a shudder at the mere mention.

Candidly, Steve knew little of this man you had been wasting your time on since months back. Wasting in the way that he surely only was kept around because he had been in your life in a time where you were in need of consolation. Now, you were better, you were happier or at least that was what you enjoyed telling yourself after having a temporal existential crisis in the middle of the night. Therefore, it could be deduced you no longer needed him but the thought of leaving him simply because you did not feel you needed him seemed so brutal to you. But that was, yet again, what you told yourself in order to prevent facing the actuality of fearing going back to being alone. Now that seemed scarier than anything imaginable and you were experiencing too immense a sense of cowardice to take control of your life.

Steve chuckled at your reaction, his hand turning the cup on the table. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“He’s just so—” you cut off yourself with a moan and dropped your head to the side, a pained squint in your eye. This was not where you wanted to go, not with truth serum to alcohol in your system. Unclenching your fist on the table, you expressed yourself in an elongated sigh. “I don’t know.”

“Well, are you fighting or—”

“We’re not anything! We’re not—we are not fighting, we’re not fucking, we’re not—we’re barely even talking at this point! And we live in the same damn apartment! You know—I mean, well, that’s of course, when he’s there.” You laughed but the grimace matching was cunning, deceiving and Steve knew it.

Was this where he retreated? Where he would back down before he got far enough to a place where there was no going back from? Once you had opened up, man, he would have to listen to that, and that he did not mind, he wanted to, only he was afraid to. Once you would become emotional, he would feel it nothing but orthodox to do the same. That would likely lead him to tell you how he wanted to be there for you, how you did not have to go about and think yourself happy, how he could help you. But he did not if he could be that one, not if you did not let him and Captain America was too big poltroon to talk love.

He boldly pushed it and reiterated, “when he’s there?”

Once again, you grinned, only stirring the concern in Steve and he could feel the brooding loathe seethe off of you.

“He’s always. . . off. Says—insists it’s work, and meetings and you know all that, but,” you stopped to pronounce a mono-syllabic laugh and again, shook your head at yourself. “Hell, if I know where—who he is runnin’ off to.”

Steve could feel the anger boil within him at the very thought. That was something he never quite had come to understand. How one could find it in them to cheat. A relationship it was supposed to be a commitment, was it not? He himself did not know based much on an experience-level, though on that he was adamant and to think one would run about with more than one woman. Was that not wasting everybody’s time?

“You think he’s cheating on you?” asked he carefully,

Shrugging your shoulders, you gave him a look as if to repeat yourself: “hell if I know.” And truthfully, you did not know but there remained this sense of irritation within you, convinced he had been seeing someone behind your back. Given the situation and the, likely, mutual gradual ennui, you also found little reason to care if John fooled around with some other woman. Surely, it was no healthy way to maintain a relationship, but it was your current reality and frankly, you cared little as long as John kept his business out of your home.

“But that’s—that’s like, sad, right? Yeah, let’s not go there. In fact, how about for tonight we just pretend all that’s bad doesn’t exist, huh? Can’t we do that? Let’s just forget about, like, stupid boyfriends, and bad decisions, and—oh! And alien, right? Invadin’ our planet and shit—who do they think they are?”

The smile on his face spread and wrinkles formed by his eyes, as Steve clicked his tongue. “Turns out they’re not all bad.”

“Hm,” scoffed you and mewled when the bottom of the glass showed. “Well, then say we forget bad men and bad decisions, yeah? I need another beer—”

“Why don’t we go for a walk?”

Your eyebrow bounced a tad, lips parting and trying to read his face. The idea did not sound bad, on the contrary, in fact, a mouthful of fresh air was tempting, and you mimicked his actions and stood to your feet, finding your balance.

Gathering your thing, you paid up and left the bar. Out on the street, the air was cool, the sky had turned to a dark shade of blue, and the various odors of whatever the street food-shops had to offer blended in your nose as you breathed in, releasing a soft moan. You clasped your hands together and turned to Steve who was shrugging into his brown jacket. In this new setting, you felt strangely lively. It might have just been the alcohol finally taking a toll.

“Where to?”

Steve simply nodded down the street and shoved his hands into his jean-pockets, commencing a leisure walk.

For the longest time, you had known Steve. First as Captain America, then he came along and became a colleague of yours, then he upgraded to a friend and suddenly in the process of it all, you realized you just might fancy him a tad more than what was deemed appropriate. One reason was that it surely would appear odd if you made an advance on the soldier while working your way up, career-wise, another rationale was that you had a boyfriend and yet another reason as to why you settled for neglecting your flourishing feelings, was that of fright. Scared you might lose a dear friend; you never found the courage to make a potentially damaging move. It had left you to keep your distance, thinking it better to admire him from afar if doing so in the vicinity only aroused your affection for him. Aside from him dealing with extraterrestrial threats and such and yourself with personal dealings, that was likely what had kept you from seeing each other over the duration of the past months. He still wondered why you had been so declining of his invitations, though.

You felt the beer had not had much of an effect on you while seated in the bar, and so it was not until you were walking in the open you felt it finally take a toll. After your mind wandered places you otherwise would have disregarded, your balance exacerbated and while your walls had abated, you laced your arm through Steve’s, taking him by surprise. Supporting yourself against him, you spoke as if you were not groping at the flexing muscles in his arm.

“Have you been seeing anyone?” asked you, composed while watching your feet work at a moderate pace, matching Steve’s walk.

“No,” hesitated he.

“Haven’t had the time or haven’t met the one?”

“Bit of both. Bit of both.”

The truth was he had not had a lot of time to meet someone, not under proper circumstances, at least, and it just seemed that every time he met a woman, they appeared to want nothing but a night with the well-known Captain America. He was ashamed to admit to it, but he had bowed under a time or two, giving in and hoping to relieve himself of, if nothing but a mere fraction of the pressure he felt. Now, he had come around to accept he was too perplex a character to find true love if that even was a thing in this wretched world. He remembered when people said, “this is a man’s world”. Usually, it was said in the context of something expressing oppression of women, but even that could no longer be said, he figured. No, not with alien and mutants and, hell, even Gods walking the same Earth he did.

You huffed and tilted your head to look at him. “Well, if you’re interested, I still got that cousin who’s up for whatever. She’s not looking for anything serious. Just, like, a husband, and a house, and kids.”

Steve laughed at your nonchalant proposal of marriage and looked away, hiding his blush, but then came to realize just how sullen that reality was.

“I don’t think I could ever live that kind of life.”

You noticed how your words seemed to have changed his mood for worse and you gulped, biting down on your lips, now feeling embarrassed you had brought it up. You knew he was right. 

You clicked your tongue and pulled him along to the other side of the street. “Sounds boring anyway.”

. . .

Somehow you had managed to talk Steve into getting your favorite take-out and take the party to your flat rather than walk the streets any longer. Shoving the key in, you thrust the door open and stumbled inside, laughing as Steve followed behind you.

“Be careful,” grinned he and shut the door behind him. He has only ever been in your apartment once before and had never gotten any further than the corridor. It was once, on a late-night, he had come to collect a report; something he for whatever reason had been eager to retrieve himself, and not make use of the men that were hired to do that kind of miscellaneous work.

Walking inside, he took in his surroundings. It was not nearly as neat as his own, but everything seemed to have its place, and it was obvious it was an apartment for two. It was then he came to wonder if John was away now.

You sighed a groan and stepped out of your shoes. “Please excuse the mess. John promised me to clean up. I’m usually a much more orderly person, you just caught me at a bad time.”

You were already picking up bits and piece that seemed to flood the apartment, irritation shooting through you as John, yet again, appeared incapable of keeping a promise.

“I won’t hold it against you,” responded Steve, eyes wary as the instinct of the Captain never did leave him. Sauntering about, he met you back in the open kitchen.

. . .

Subsequent to eating, you ended up chatting on the couch. Music was flowing from the Bluetooth speaker in the kitchen and throughout the apartment, however, at such a low volume it was merely a soft hymn over the thunderstorm brewing outside. The windows were rain-lashed, adding to the cozy sphere with a faint pounding sound and Steve’s laughter seemed the sweetest sound you had ever heard at that moment. He had completely lost track of time, in spite of repeatedly reminding himself he should leave before it got too late, before he was too tired and before he lost all inhibition, and before he poured his feelings out on you. The last thing he wanted was to put you in an uncomfortable position, and surely that was destined to happen for someone in your position; someone with an undeserving boyfriend on one hand, and a man willing to give you his unconditional love on the other. The time was half-past twelve in the night and your conversation matched the gloaming hour.

“I think it’s a kind of attachment, like, I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I’ve just known him for so long. It would be weird if all of a sudden, he wasn’t in my life. I mean, it’s not that I depend on him, just that he’s always been there for me when I needed him. When no one else was, John was there. Now, whenever I see him I just don’t feel that spark anymore and I know for sure he feels the same way, I just can’t seem to break things up,” maundered you, dropping your head against the back of the couch, trying to compose your thoughts.

It was Steve that had brought up John. He thought perhaps if you truly felt as you had hinted about him, your voiced thoughts might of convince you he was not good for you. He worried he was being selfish, for truthfully without John in your life, Steve’s mind asserted to him that meant there was room for him. He still did not know if you even liked him as anything but a friend, and he was awfully poor at interpreting your casual flirting.

“Y/N, you don’t owe him anything, you do know that, right?”

“Yeah, but that’s the thing! I—I feel like I do! John has always been a good friend to me, and so I feel like if I were to break up with him, it’s like saying I never cared,” tried you to explain, though your words did not justify your perplexing channel of thought.

Steve’s eyes shut tight and his brows creased for a moment as his head lolled sideways. You did not understand where this particular interest originated from. It was nice to know he cared for you, nevertheless, in a platonic way and that was not what you wanted. Of course, you knew one could not always have their way, but in your case, that seemed ever so rare and you figured, hell, if it makes me selfish to take what I want, then so shall I be selfish, and you wanted to;  so badly. To just leave behind your last sense of inhibition and throw yourself in his arms, claim him as yours, take his kiss. But you were nowhere near bold enough to do just that, not with all the beer in the world fermenting in your stomach.

“No, but Y/N, he’s the one out there cheating on you—John is the dumbass, he doesn’t deserve you, don’t waste your time on him,” argued Steve and felt beyond stupid in seconds. Steve was one who prided himself for his aptness, his conscientiousness as well as his ability to be decisive when no one else dared, but above all was his capability to think clearly; that all went down the drain for his decision-making was heavily biased, but hell, Steve is in love.

His heart just about broke once he forced himself to look back up at you, eyes softening at your stunned, now worryingly contemplative expression and he had a clue what you thought: he does not understand.

You blinked a couple of times, pushing a stray strand of hair beyond your ear.

“Maybe you should leave,” spoke you softly, biting back the tears.

Steve had not noticed his lips were parted until his mouth went dry, his eyes doing the same as he pulled himself from the daze. Squinting his eyes shut, he pinched the bridge of his nose in thought, assimilating the situation, albeit in vain. It was as if his nervous central system shut down the minute, he laid eyes on you, your now pacific eyes causing him distress, your mortified channel of thought, suddenly, altering your mien for animosity in portrayed rigidness.

“Hey, looked,” Steve said, clueless as to what he was going to say. “I—I’m sorry, I didn’t—I don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“You don’t,” you concurred, hastily, arms crossing, rather for comfort than to display dissatisfaction. You really would have preferred not to talk about John tonight. Steve was a lot more diverting, anyway, always a pleasant man to be around even if he did make you think things that you ought not to. You cleared your throat, reaching across the table for the TV-remote, thinking to beguile some time. “Let’s just forget this.”

Silently nodding his head, Steve attentively watched you carry on and he was quiet for the following time, keeping still and somewhat austere in his place beside you. While you did your best to get comfortable, you could feel his gaze on you, only ever averting when you caught him looking.

Steve; he was nervous as they come and meek in his actions, afraid he might do something you were not content with, so he balked and did nothing instead. He thought he was playing it safe, and in ways he was, only you wanted nothing but for him to prove your suspicious mind true and kiss you right there. He possessed the conscientiousness of a gentleman and while he, as a matter of factly, did want to a long last feel your kissable lips, he worried he might take advantage of a feeble situation. Considering you always had told him he should start taking some, as opposed to merely giving, and that there was no shame in being selfless every now and then, he sat brooding for some time, in the end only deciding it wise to disregard his dither and, again, do nothing.

Time passed, only very few words exchanged, though you considered it more peaceful with a soothing effect, in contrast to Steve’s idea of an awkward time for brooding and self-loathe.

The hour grew later by the minute, and he, at one point, wondered if you wanted for him to just leave. It was safe to say; times had been tough on him, nonetheless, Steve had allowed himself a great deal of reprimand, thus he had come to, to say it as it is, take no bullshit. His mind had become impenetrable, his thoughts no one’s but his own and his ears, in the times of chastising, serving no purpose but that of a deaf person.

Regardless, that had been the work of those past months, and the longer he spent time with you, the more that facade seemed to crumble. Your mere presence made him paranoid, so unsure of himself and in ways he had not even ever been prior to his transformation decades ago. He ought to seethe at that belittling feel of not being in control of his emotions, but he had to admit, he did enjoy that weak feeling he would get in his knees and the red rush blowing at his pink cheeks because lord did it feel good to feel.

Once your phone rang, you shifted across the couch only to see John’s name light up on the display and Steve, attentive and wary is a soldier, made notice of how your face fell. Casting a glance to Steve, you excused yourself with a mellow, regretful sigh.

“John, it’s the middle of the night,” sounded your hushed greeting, as you shielded yourself with a wall to separate Steve from the likely hostile dialogue.

You heard his chuckle over the line, “Y/N, it’s lovely to hear your voice too. I’m sorry ‘bout the timing—I only just got off an hour ago, I hadn’t had a chance to reach you.”

Shaking your head, you did your best to not get visuals of what you could only imagine he had been up to. “You do realize I haven’t heard from you since this morning, right? I don’t mean to be crass, but I’d rather you hadn’t called until the morning. Not to mention the place—you told me you were going to clean up here, you’ve been saying that for a week now and for some reason, I keep finding your shit-papers spread all around!”

“Wow, okay, Y/N, I told you—I had no chance of calling earlier. I was—”

“Busy with business, yeah I know, John,” interrupted you, not caring for the sneer or spite in your tone.

He huffed, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t care who you screw when you’re away, it means I don’t care how long you’re away; it never stopped you before but you have my consent to do whatever the fuck you want, as long as you don’t bring your sluts home and into my home.”

John made a weak attempt to save himself, but you had him beyond saving. There was no saving him, there was no saving this relationship. “Y/N, babe, what are you going on about—”

“And that’s what you did last week, and you can’t even be bothered enough to clean the fucking place after you make the apartment seem as if though a hurricane had been in here!”

John cleared his throat and you could tell he, still, was little bothered. “I said I would clean, but then I had to leave and—”

You could not help yourself but snort in contempt. Concerned your raised voice had caught the attention of Steve, you craned your neck around the corner and found him on the outer edge of the couch. Even as your eyes connected, he did not look the other way, more concerned for you than the fact that he had been listening. Releasing your lip, you sighed and took a few steps the other way.

“Look, John,” you cut in, “I have to go.”

“What? Why?” Now it was his time to become mad and you did not care in the slightest. “Babe, listen; I’m sorry when I get home, I’ll make it up to you, I swear, baby.”

“Yeah, no need to go to the trouble. Steve’s perfectly capable of that, I’m sure.”

The line went silent and for seconds you could not even hear his breathing. And when he spoke, at last, it was nothing but a weak: “What?”

Steadying your breathing, you nodded your head, trying to convince yourself what you did was for our own good. You deserved better, even if that had you going against every instinct of yours. “In fact, I should get back to him. Let me know when you get home, won’t you?”

You should have finished the call just then; it might have let you incite something surely regretful without tears in your eyes. But John’s attitude hastily changed, and his voice boomed on the line even before you could hang up.

“Hey, what the fuck are you talking about? You fucking Captain America now? The fuck is that about—is this you trying to make some point to me? Huh?”

“You know what? John, I’m not even mad that you’re fucking some chick in a hotel, I’m mad that you think I’m too darn ignorant to know. But then you go and bring that shit to my door, into my home! I only kept you around because I was too damn scared of being alone! You know, I could handle you having your frat-boy fun on your “business trips”, but the lack of respect!”

“Wow-wow-wow! “Kept me around”? Seriously, Y/N? Who do you think you are? You’re the one who taking Captain-fucking-America to our home, aren’t you?”

You laughed aloud, covering your mouth as you paced a circle. The low he had to get on to shift the fault of your failing relationship. You were ready to rip out your hair; hurt him; hurt yourself, and while you had been dealing with your forlorn relationship, Steve had left his place in the couch and precariously stood on his uneasy feet. While persistent thought of doubt gnawed at his mind, Steve was unsure how to react, nor if he even should for it was crystal clear by your hushed voice, you did not want him to hear.

“Go fuck a bitch, John,” heckled you, ended the call without a second thought. You clung so tightly to your mobile phone that your knuckles turned white, in contempt, in resentment, in great tragedy for you were alone even with Steve in the other room.

But he was not in the other room. He stood an appropriate distance away from you, unnoticed and watched in extreme agony as you let out a sob, hand coming to shade your face. Crying a curse, you clenched your jaw, teeth cold in your mouth as you shivered with profound gloom. Rebuking your boyfriend, arguing over fucking Captain America without fucking Captain America. It was all shit, wasn’t it? Shifting your sorrowful, gleaming gaze from the ceiling, you found yourself facing the mirror, standing with no spine and a smeared face. The mere sight was enough to allow another tear to race down your cheek. An intense feeling over anger overwhelmed you, vexing you so aggressively your breath hitched in your throat, and it was only when you were ready to bash to mirror out of pure disgust, Steve’s low voice stammered your name in the octave of an angle.

“Are-are you okay?” asked he, unsure what else to say, his hand tentatively kneading his other. Lord, a gift from the gods he was.

“I hate him, Steve.” Your head tilted to the side, a hint of the most bittersweet smile tugging your lip upward despite your resentful mood. You sniffled, “I fucking hate him.”

And right there, in that moment of convenient sorrow, you dissolved in his arms to cry your heart out. For the first time in all too long, you allowed your guard down in another’s presence, and the fact that it was Steve’s, a man you trusted with your life and so much more, you felt safe enough to hold nothing back. His large arms holding you close, keeping you from falling to the ground and drown in a puddle of tears, he whispered promises in your ear, ever so softly and you just might kiss him for his kindness, but for now; you cried and Steve did not mind consoling you one bit, for, at last, it was his arms you were in.

[beauregardlionett]

On King Piece and Expectation

so post the new ML episode, I felt excited; but now I’m just kind of thinking about things from a writer’s perspective and tbh? the hype died quickly.

Adrien is positively oblivious. And here’s the hot take: it’s not cute. Don’t get me wrong, I think Adrien has a lot of potential to be a sweet and wonderful character, but he’s so caught up in his immediate happenings that everything else kind of falls by the wayside with him. I genuinely think he has NO clue about Marinette’s feelings for him and that’s just downright sad. Granted, the kid is overworked and likely overtired so his intrinsic focus makes some sort of sense, but Marinette is literally the absolute opposite of subtle.

I’m also refusing the name m*ster bug because...no. Just putting that out there.

I’m going to agree with some posts that I’ve seen on this already, but the chance for these two to understand each other on a more personal and basic level was entirely wasted. This trope is used often in situations of partners/teams who don’t necessarily understand the burden another has to carry. And ML literally didn’t even touch the ball before dropping it and shattering it. Marinette - while badass - learned nothing from being Lady Noire because she exercised the same practices as Ladybug, completely defeating the purpose of the Miraculous switch. Adrien acted the same, if not more removed from the actual happenings of the battle. He had absolutely no chance to feel things out for himself as evidenced by his “lucky vision” (idk) with the Lucky Charm giving him absolutely nothing to work with. Adrien is not stupid - obviously - and we know this. But his intellect seems to lie in memorization and repetition. Maybe this says something about his lack of critical thinking skills and being able to think on his feet because his life has been under such strict control for so long he’s never learned how to do things like this for himself - or maybe he’s forgotten how to.

Not to mention it literally hurt me to hear him just go “I’m not cut out to be Ladybug, that’s for sure” with a smile on his face. he never actually got to try. He was still just Ladybug’s pawn in her plots to defeat the latest akuma. This should have been when Adrien had the chance to step up to the plate and figure things out on his own, realize how much thought and work Marinette puts into every plan she devises, that it’s not easy thinking things up on the spot and executing them to near perfection. Hell, I would have been satisfied even if Adrien tried his own plan and failed, because at least he did that on his own and realized being Ladybug was hard. This was supposed to be when he figured out that Ladybug is more than just her powers, that it’s who she is that makes her Ladybug - because clearly he doesn’t remember telling her that on their first mission together if he’s still acting this way.

And this is a two way street! This episode was supposed to be when Marinette stepped back to let Adrien take the lead for once, to stumble over a new weapon, to fall into ingrained habit and call for her Lucky Charm rather than her Cataclysm and fumble to recover in time. This was supposed to be when she realizes how integral Chat Noir is to her plans, to her execution of those plans, by actually being the key piece on the board rather than her usual judge and jury way of doing things. This was supposed to be when she risked herself for Ladybug Adrien because that’s what he’s done for her time and time again. This was when she was supposed to realize he makes those jokes because he’s trying to stay young, trying to stay hopeful, trying to ease the burden from her shoulders while they’re locked in combat because donning the Chat Noir miraculous is “easier on the shoulders”.

Which by the way, even if that statement were wholly true, is a whole dynamic that could be explored.

My point with all this is that it seems like the writers got so excited and caught up in the fandom’s excitement of a mere Miraculous switch that they forgot the very foundation of this “power exchange” trope is supposed to give way to character development. There is no development in Adrien telling himself he could never be Ladybug because he’s already said that, already convinced himself of that, in the Gamer episode in season one. So if that was supposed to be the whole take away from this episode, then we could have done without it at all.

And listen, I support Marinette immensely because she’s talented and powerful and strong-willed and most importantly she’s not perfect. She’s still a fourteen year old girl with a crush on a boy, with boundaries, with attitude and snark and imperfections who has to learn lessons and apologize. But having her apologize to Juleka for Alya’s mistake? Utter bullshit. You can’t have Marinette apologize for things she didn’t do just because you expect her to be perfect as the main protagonist. She’s a child.

If you ask me, the crushing expectations literally everyone in her life puts on her both with and without the mask will be her downfall. She’s just as overworked and overtired as Adrien, and it should (hopefully, if the writers pull their heads out of the sand) come back to bite her in the end and teach her not to be passive about these expectations. She needs to stand up for herself and say ‘this is not my responsibility, and i will not apologize for being unable to shoulder every little thing thrown at me.’ You want a female empowering show and character? Let her fucking stand up for herself, even if it’s to her friends. Because that’s real. That happens in everyday life.

Additionally, in a more metaphorical sense, Chat Noir and Ladybug to me resemble the King and Queen on a chess board. Ladybug is the King piece, moving slowly, subtly, powerful, a piece that must stay alive at all costs. Chat Noir is the Queen piece, deadly, moving in vast directions and distances to get everywhere and anywhere to protect the King piece. This could have been the perfect chance for them to experience this dynamic switch, for Adrien to stay put, to move with more caution and think things through before moving forward on instinct. For Marinette, this could have been a chance for her to loosen up, to move when she wants, to protect the King piece and strike when she has the chance rather than over thinking, to allow the King piece to dictate her movements for once and actually trust someone for once rather than doing everything on her own.

In short (TLDR) - this episode was a wasted opportunity. Marinette and Adrien are kids, and just because the adults who write this show have no flexibility when it comes to perception doesn’t mean the characters should have to suffer for it.

[parkaiur]

Final Thoughts on YGTB/The Lineup

... well let’s just jump right into it shall we?

ok.. this show was a waste of time and a waste of all my fucking emotions. the only reason i put up with YG’s bullshit is because I thought team a+jihoon would debut, but yg is too fucking stupid to do that so : )

anyways, let’s get into the reason why this show is trash :)

first of all, the emotional trauma all the boys have been put through?

there are 28 trainees, they all thought that the debut group was going to be 5 members... imagine how stressful and scary that must be for all of them. once they split from their respective teams, they were all heartbroken they were being split from their friends? seriously... what was yg doing breaking such strong teamwork in ALL the teams...

the reason why ikon was, and is, so popular is because of their strong teamwork. people are connected to the bond between the members and it shows when people have been through a lot together 

moving on, there are literally 13&14 year old kids in this show... like c’mon, what i was worrying about at 14 was if my friends had the same lunch as me.. :/ and on top of the trainee life, they’re forced to be split from all their friends... these poor dudes 

AND THE EDITING, OH GOSH THE EDITING

for the ENTIRE show, YG depicted team a as the “bad guys”. first from when yoonbin and yeongue lost the 2:2 battle. so many people got upset, saying that it was a popularity battle when in reality, they had the smallest gap out of all the teams... hah . 

they also edited out byounggon’s rap in the Im Not Sorry performance which caused ppl to think that only Seunghun controlled that stage, when in reality, both of them chewed up the stage. 

im not even going to mention how initially Yoonbin x Keita’s rap battle was edited out before they were hella popular cuz yg is a fucking snake and there are SO many examples as to which this happened so i’ll only name a few 

next, THE FINAL GOING CRAZY PERFORMANCE. the focus was SO obviously on Jaehyuk when Hyunsuk started to rap ... like cameraman... the rapper was Hyunsuk, not Jaehyuk... pls ... also, when jihoon was singing, the cameraman panned to junghwan... i think im starting to predict something :   )

anyways, Doyoung and Jihoon were both edited out of their FINAL PERFORMANCE ON THIS SHOW??? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Doyoung choreographed that dance YET his solo in Earned It was edited out?? and Jihoon was just edited out completely??? i thought we would FINALLY get to hear both of their stunning vocals and ... nothing .... it’s obvious only yg’s favorites gets aired 

now, mentioning all of team a+jihoon being mistreated, i kept up with this fucking show because i thought yg was just trying to rile up fans and would debut them later.... I WAS WRONG. 

all silver boys can either write songs, produce music, and choreograph... yet he chose some members that cant... im not saying that Haruto and Junghwan are untalented, when I think they’re very good at what they do, but theyre just so young and have so much more room to grow. YG chose these members because of their potential .. but he refused to debut boys who already have honed their potential ... wtf

YG obviously only used Silver Boys as a way to gain popularity for this show, and it’s not sitting well with me. tons of fans have been waiting s o l o n g for these boys to debut, especially last year in the Stray Kids survival show and Mixnine. they had fans who were dedicated and saw their talent, and were waiting for them (i am one myself). and when YGTB was released, it seemed like the perfect show because it had all my favorite boys ! (ok most im looking at you jeonwoong, raesung, and noa) 

but then yg turns around and pulls this ... this on us... 

seriously come at me for saying this cuz im going to delete my account soon :/ 

ALSO ive seen so many posts telling Silver Boys stans to like calm down ?? and to not hate on the members... let me get this straight, IM NOT HATING ON THEM. Simply saying someone is too young and inexperienced to debut is NOT hate. 

Also, yg expected this happen. he knew junghwan (and even haruto) would get hate and backlash and he debuted them anyways... seriously if that isnt the definition of cruel. he just wants to stir up the public and honestly idk if it’s going to work this time since so many people are upset. yg SAW the online voting which, if you didn’t know, had 300K votes for the Silver Boys, yet he still didn’t choose to debut them... wow 

if yg’s target was younger fans... he got them. but im just saying this now, all yg groups have older, more mature fans, and what i’ve seen from this fandom is not that. yg just lost a veteran yg stan but he doesnt care does he now 

also , dont console SB fans when you’re just trying to defend your faves. and when i say console, dont say “omg just support the group! you have to stan forever or else you’re fake>:(” like... NO. you actually dont have to stan a group you dont like ??? i have freedom ?? LMAO 

plus raesung coming to the final show made all of us VERY emotional and we wanted a happy ending for our boys, and we didnt get one. which obviously crushed us, so just,,, back off for a moment and dont try to make us feel worse about what’s happening right now 

anyways, yg basically debuted a group with visuals (as of right now) and it’s making me sick. i didnt think he was taking the visuals things seriously but seeing this lineup? he obviously was. and no, im not saying that visuals dont have talent just to be clear. im just saying that there are people who are “not visuals” who are just as talented. 

my predictions for the next three members? It’s Yoonbin or Hyunsuk, Mashiho, and Jaehyuk. why? they’re all yg’s favorites and are visuals. 

im not in the mood for discussion just come in my inbox if you’re going to talk about Silver Boys or about how nice your day was cuz i need to either distract myself or mourn ;-; 

also the immense guilt that silver boys stans feel right now is uncontrollable... we tried so hard for so long yet our efforts have fallen through... and not only do we have a bond towards our boys, but we have a bond with each other. Us Silver Boy stans have also been through a lot together and when you solo stans were running around, we were getting shit done. we fight for the SB boys and we fight for each other, dont think we are going to stop now <3

[tyrantisterror]

FUCK IT LET’S GET ASININE

TT’s SUBJECTIVE RANKING OF THE MARVEL MOVIE VILLAINS (AND A FEW SPECIAL MENTIONS FOR THE TV VILLAINS TOO)

I maintain that ranking characters is stupid but sometimes I dare to be stupid so let’s do this.  SPOILERS FOR EVERY MARVEL MOVIE YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SEE YOU AFTER THE CUT FUCK I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT SUPERHEROES A LOT IN THE PAST TWO DAYS HUH

Ok, I guess I should give some criteria for this, so we’re going to be judging these guys both as villains and characters in general.  As characters, they need to be interesting and compelling - i.e. you want to follow their journey, you want to hear their story, because that’s a characters job.  If a character isn’t making a story compelling, they aren’t a great character.  As specifically antagonistic characters, they need to provide an interesting counterpoint and conflict for the heroes - there has to be a substantive reason for why they are opposing the main characters.  And as villains - and while villains are often antagonists, those two words AREN’T synonymous - they need to bring a level of menace to the table.  We don’t just want to see the heroes/protagonists win - we also don’t want the villains to succeed in their goal, because their goal is, y’know, bad.

If a villain is successful in all of these things, then there’s another criteria to consider: did they reach their potential?  There are some villains - actually A LOT of them - in the Marvel movies that are good on paper, but didn’t reach their fully potential, either because they lacked time or the writing just didn’t give them enough to do.  A number of the guys on this list would be higher if they hadn’t been, essentially, wasted by the screenwriters.

There are also some antagonists in the Marvel movies who I don’t really think qualify for the villain label - they were obstacles the heroes had to overcome, sure, but they weren’t meant to be full on SUPERVILLAINS.  There’s nothing wrong with that - hell, I honestly prefer stories to have multiple kinds of antagonists, because it makes the world more complex and interesting.  I’ll give these successful non-villains some honorable mentions.

Let’s dive in then!

As it currently stands, Loki is the best Marvel villain.  I know, I know, a lot of you hate Loki because teenage girls think Tom Hiddelston is cute, but has ANY villain in the Marvel movies gotten even close to as much development as he has?  Loki was one of the strongest aspects of the first Thor movie, with a sinister cunning backed by motives we could understand but not condone.  This guy has reasons for being the bad guy he started as - hell, the main one, his dad, is also the father of the hero he arches for, Thor.  From the start there was complexity and intrigue built into him, and his devious mind presented a great problem for not only Thor but also the three other big names in the first Avengers lineup - because while Captain America, the Hulk, and Iron Man can all hit really hard, those powers aren’t really great at beating a scheme.

Loki also opened the door (literally) for a greater scale of threats and scope of story possibilities in the universe.  Then, once his big starring villain moment in The Avengers came and went, he proceeded to take a slow but well done turn from villain to hero - one fraught with missteps and backsliding.  He didn’t turn into a good guy easily.  Again, he was arguably the best part of Thor: the Dark Wold, a movie that’s kind of a low point in the series (and yet one that’s still far from bad, because that’s how Marvel do).  Admittedly, Loki wasn’t the high point of Thor: Ragnorok, though that’s only because Thor: Ragnorok was great in so many other ways, taking a series that was up till that point a more middling part of the greater Marvel Franchise and making it one of the best.  Notably, Ragnorok finally allowed Loki to complete his turn to hero, all while keeping his personality traits that we’ve grown to love.  No villain has been better served by the franchise, and likewise none has served it better.

The first Guardians of the Galaxy had so much work to do - not only did it have to introduce us to and get us to love the five weirdest fucking superheroes of the franchise so far, but it also had to introduce the entire Space Opera side of Marvel’s universe to us - infinity stones, celestials, various planets with various sapient species with a great and varied history.  We had to learn about Groots and children of Thanos and the Kree and the Nova Corps and the Ravagers - we can forgive that movie for having a weak villain, especially given the fact that it had FIVE protagonists to develop meaningfully instead of one like every movie before it.

Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2, by contrast, has a lot less to do.  Its heroes are introduced, as are a lot of great supporting characters, so in that regard it just had to follow through on what it had already built.  That gave the writers significantly more time to work on the antagonist, and the result was Ego, the second best Marvel movie villain.  Though his relationship with Quill is first and foremost, Ego also has meaningful thematic ties to the other heroes as well - he’s an abusive father of unfathomable power, much like Gamora and Nebula’s adoptive father Thanos, he’s an inherently lonely being that longs for a familial connection that may well be lost to him, like Drax, Rocket, and Groot, he’s a deeply flawed parent figure to Peter much like Yondu, and, well, he’s personally isolated and abused Mantis.  Ego’s motives are understandable but reprehensible.  We feel his pathos - no one wants to be alone, and most people can understand the desire to reconnect with one’s offspring - but we also know he can’t be allowed to succeed.  The threat he brings is palpable, and his conflict changes all the heroes in a meaningful way.

Like most Marvel movie villains, Ego dies in his debut, but to the film’s credit, Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 makes every second of his screentime count.  We could have gotten more tales from Ego, but if this is his only one, then I feel we can say his potential was used well.

Like Guardians of the Galaxy, Black Panther had a lot of stuff on its narrative plate.  While it had a slight headstart in introducing its titular hero thanks to Civil War, it still has to do a lot of work to make us understand who T’Challa is, while also introducing Okoye, M’Baku, Wakanda’s greatest export Shuri, Nakia, and oh yeah, the Afrofuturistic country of Wakanda.  It also had to justify the existence of fakeout villain Ulysses Klaue and unnecessary white man Martin Freeman for, I imagine, the comfort of the white executives taking a “gamble” on a big budget movie with a predominately non-white cast, because somehow that was even more ludicrous in Hollywood’s eyes than a movie starring a talking racoon and an Ent.

where was I?

Oh, right, my point is that there was significantly less narrative space for Killmonger than the two villains above him, and that’s the SOLE reason he’s at number three here.  Killmonger’s motives are just as complex as Loki’s, and he is as thematically relevant to the MANY heroes opposing him in this film as Ego is in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2.  And he gets a lot of good development!

but... Killmonger dies at the end of Black Panther.  He dies when there is so, SO much more story we could have gotten out of him.  And while his story in the film is well told for the most part, some of it is abbreviated.  This dude needs, nay, DESERVES more time.  If they retcon his death and bring him back for a sequel, Killmonger may very well climb to the top of this list.

Thanos is the only villain on this list who is arguably the protagonist of a Marvel film - really, Avengers Infinity War is his movie more than anyone else’s.  He does a lot of the same stuff as the three villains before him - his motives are understandable, the threat he poses is immense, he challenges the heroes, and at the same time has thematic connections to... well, some of them (look there’s significantly more heroes in Infinity War than there are in Thor, The Avengers, Guardians of the Galaxy, and Black Panther, so cut him a little slack).  But he’s a bit weaker at all those ways except for the “level” of threat he poses.  The only heroes he’s really intimately tied to are Gamora and Nebula - for everyone else, his threat is more general than personal.  Sure, he’s a lot more SUCCESSFUL at killing named characters than the previous three villains on this list, but if you think all of those deaths are gonna stick you’re a very gullible person.  Ultimately, Thanos’ character had to sacrifice narrative complexity for the sake of establishing a higher scale of threat, and the result if a character that’s a bit weaker than Marvel’s best - but still pretty damn good.  I mean, he was good enough to feel like a credible threat to a literal army of superheroes - that’s gotta count for something.

Funnily enough, the Vulture is kind of on the opposite side of things from Thanos.  The threat he poses is significantly lower stakes than the villains that preceded and followed him - and, oddly enough, that’s in his favor.  He felt new as a result.  This wasn’t a guy who was starting wars or committing genocides - he’s just an asshole who sells illegal and highly dangerous weapons.  His motives are understandable, too - dude wants to give his family a good life, and this just happened to be a solution to that problem (if not a moral one).  He’s much closer to the kind of “villain” an average person would be affected by in real life.

At the same time, well, he’s not a world shaking villain.  He does what he’s meant to do well, sure, but he wasn’t meant to be the next Loki - he’s a one shot filler villain for a movie that was really about introducing its hero to us.  There are a LOT of villains who were meant for that niche, and of those villains, Vulture is the cream of the crop.

Though she was going to be higher, didn’t you?

My immense attraction to her aside, Hela is... kinda flat.  Her motivations are kinda weak - she’s a warhawk who wants to start wars and was kicked out of Asgard for starting wars too much and now is back to start some more wars because... because war is cool, I guess.  Cate Blanchett’s wonderfully campy performance elevates the material she’s been given a lot, don’t get me wrong, but objectively... Hela’s not very interesting.  In terms of her relation to the hero, she’s basically Loki except with no development or intrigue - yeah, she’s technically Thor’s sister, but we don’t feel a familial bond between them, so their conflcit doesn’t really get any intrigue out of that.  Hela isn’t really a character - she’s a conflict, as developed and emotionally complex as the tornadoes in Twister.

I hate to say it, because I love Thor: Ragnorok and just, like, the concept of a Goddess of Death played by Cate Blanchett, but Hela just isn’t very well developed.  She’s a lot of wasted potential - wasted potential made very... entertaining by Cate Blanchett’s... entertaining performance, but if it weren’t for the skills of the actress playing her and, uh, some aesthetic preferences on my part, she’d be even lower on the list.

Hey, speaking of really good actors who played elf leaders Lord of the Rings, here’s Red Skull!  And, like Hela, he’s kind of wasted.  Movie Red Skull is basically the cartoonishly exaggerated caricature pop culture has made nazis into - “evil” in the Snidley Whiplash sense, but not evil in the have-you-actually-read-up-on-how-fucking-horrifying-the-holocaust-is sense.  And, look, I understand that bringing in the actual horrors of the holocaust in a movie about a guy who’s basically wearing the American flag as a costume could very easily become uncomfortably misguided, but the defanging of the nazis - I’m sorry, HYDRA, the “more evil” nazis who somehow don’t do any of the actually ridiculously evil shit nazis did - that Red Skull represents isn’t a great solution to that problem.

Movie Red Skull is less complex than Cobra Commander.  He is pure “I’m evil because... because!” villainy.  He’s less deep than Hela, and unlike Hela’s actress, Hugo Weaving was kind of phoning it in.  There’s some hammy fun in Red Skull, sure, but he could have had so much more impact than he did.

Ronan the Accuser’s motives are a bit better defined than Red Skull’s.  His people have been in an on again, off again war with the rival civilization of Xandar, and yeah, that’s a tale as old as time - dude wants to destroy a country because they fought his country in the past and all that, happens all the time, fine and dandy.  But... while we can understand that because it’s basically the bulk of human history, we never really feel it, y’know?  Xandar and the Kree’s history is TOLD to us, not shown, and as a result we don’t really FEEL Ronan’s motivation.

So what does that leave us with?  Well, a very shouty and hammy performance by his actor done from under some thick makeup.  It’s fun and campy, but Ronan’s a filler starter villain - he’s weak so the heroes may have time to be strong.  It’s fine - he does his job - but he’s not what he could have been.

Although I will say, the moment where his brain just short circuits when Peter Quill stops their fight to challenge him to a dance off?  Hands down the most satisfying thing in the entire Marvel universe.

Aww yeah, here’s an interesting guy!  Isn’t this not at all underwhelming after the colorful cast of characters above?  Look, it’s... a dude!  A white dude!  Swell!

Zemo is, like, the less-good prototype for Killmonger.  Dude got fucked over by American Imperialism and blames the superheroes for it, using a bunch of dastardly tricks and cunning schemes to create strife in their ranks!  He does it well enough, and he’s got a good amount of pathos, and the actor playing him does the job very well, but... c’mon, do you really want to see more of this guy?  Did you even remember his name?  He’s just complex enough to get the job done, but just boring enough to let the movie focus on its REAL conflict, which is the titular super hero Civil War.  Like the Vulture before him, he’s just as good as he needs to be - but since he didn’t need to be as good as the villains higher up, he didn’t reach those heights.

Also it should be noted that comic book Zemo looks OUTRAGEOUS and interesting and fun so it’s kind of a shame that, like, exactly 0% of that was translated into film.  You could have called this character Greg Fucktruck or whatever instead and saved that character for a movie where, like, he could be interesting and cool, instead of a one off filler villain.

Robert Redford begins as a good guy in Captain America: The Winter Soldier and initially feels like a reasonable authority figure, only to be revealed as a secret bad guy in a surprising plot twist!  It’s effective, but as villains go. he’s just, like, a guy.  He’s a guy in a suit.  Not a supervillain suit, just a... a normal suit.  He wields a lot of power and has an evil plan and is played charismatically by a very good actor, but like Zemo, he’s not exactly memorable.  I mean, fuck, I just listed him as Robert Redford because I couldn’t remember his character name and didn’t want to look it up.

Y’know how I said Zemo is the crappy prototype for Killmonger?  Yeah, well, Whiplash is the shitty prototype for Zemo.  Same motives but shittier, same personal connection to the hero but shittier, same critique of American Imperialism but much, much shittier.  At least he loved his bird, though.

I couldn’t find a gif of his monster form, but the Abomination is... uh... he’s a guy... a mercenary?  And he turns into a monster.  That’s neat.  Turning into a monster is the sole reason he’s this high on the list.  And I couldn’t even find a gif of it.

Ullyses Klaue was a boring, one dimensional filler villain who was given some fun quirks by his actor, Andy Serkis, but ultimately failed to not be boring and was thankfully killed off halfway through the movie so the actually interesting villain of the movie could take center stage in a surprise twist that made said interesting villain all the more memorable.  He died so a better plot may live, and a better character immediately filled his shoes.  Rest in peace, you boring ass red herring of a villain.

“I’m selling the entire universe to a hell dimension because the hell dimension doesn’t have death because there is no time!  That’s a complex motive, right?  Right?”  No, c...caecilian?  Cesarian?  Caeser Millan?  No it’s not.  I mean, an attempt was made, I guess?  It’s technically a different motive than past villains?  I guess?  This guy is the “You Tried” sticker of Marvel’s movie villains.

Ultron tried to be so, SO much more than most of the characters on this list.  In terms of authorial intent, he would rank higher - they were really, REALLY trying with him!  They really were!

But, for me, Ultron fails in everything he tries to be. That’s why he’s this low on my list - not because he’s not complex, not because he’s a boring concept, but because there was so much potential and effort here and it was all WASTED, and that is so much more frustrating than the boring villains that preceded him on this list!

Like... comic book Ultron is a giggling, manic lunatic of a villain, full of energy and intensity that is so unlike most of Marvel’s rogues gallery, especially those that made it to the films.  The default movie villain is “smug, disinterested bad guy who talks way too much and takes himself too seriously.”  Comic book Ultron ISN’T that.  Comic book Ultron is fun and passionate and coo-coo for coco puffs bonkers bananas!  And yet he’s also got a lot of pathos - he’s a new life form whose creator didn’t know how to nurture properly, who grew too fast for his unwitting parent to deal with.  There’s a tragedy to Ultron.

Also, he’s an awesome robot man with a scary as fuck unmoving robot mask that looks like some alien skull that is both screaming in fury and laughing in maniacal glee at the same time.  Like, visually, comic book Ultron is really good.

And... and an effort was made to capture some of that, but it failed.  They tried to capture Ultron’s loopy thought process, but in reality they just made his motivations and plan a fucking mess that’s impossible to parse.  They tried to give him a good design, but ditched the iconic and creepy screaming skull mask in favor of... weird robo lips, and then stuck those on a Michael Bay transformer body.  They took his manic personality and, well, chucked it out in favor of...

Well, a smug, disinterested bad guy who talks too much and takes himself too seriously.

Ultron should have been something we hadn’t seen before, or at least not recently - he should have been, well, Comic Book Ultron.  Instead, they forced him into the mold of MOST Marvel villains, and forced his design into the mold of the most profitable robot designs at the then-current time: the Michael Bay transformers.  The result was so disappointing.  It’s heart breaking.

You know what they should have imitated, but didn’t?  Darth Vader.  Darth Vader is perhaps the most well known movie villain of all time, and certainly the most lucrative.  You know what Darth Vader has?  An immovable mask that is iconic and terrifying and brought to life by a passionate, inspired vocal performance from the actor playing him.

Ultron is most effective at the very end of the movie, when he’s speaking through his drone, which DOES have that immovable, scream/laughter face of his comic counterpart.  It’s way more unsettling and interesting to watch, even if James Spader’s performance in that part still has that smug, bored disinterest to it.  I know this sounds like a minor point but really, it’s one of the many big missed opportunities of this character, and it’s a damn shame.

Malekith is a shitty prototype for Ronan the Accuser, played by an actor of great talent who was given absolutely nothing to work with from the script and then had his performance hampered by thick makeup.  Malekith sucks.

There are, like, fifty evil businessmen who want superhero technology to make money via evil in the Marvel movies.  They all have different names and different actors and they’re all boring and they suck.  They suck hard.  They’re all the exact same character, and the fact that some of them are played by really good actors sucks doubly hard because those good actors could have played, like, someone INTERESTING instead.  Fuckin’ Sam Rockwell?  You waste Sam Rockwell’s talents on this bland stereotype of a character?  You wasted the Fucking Dude on this?  Christ.

Honorable Mentions pt. 1: the Not-Really-Villains

Jeff Goldblum’s performance as the Grandmaster is a gift that humanity must treasure till the end of its days and beyond.  He is so delightfully weird and charming in every scene he’s in and I would watch a thousand movies with this character in him.  So why isn’t he on the villains list?  Well, because he’s... not really a villain.  He’s an antagonist, sure, and on paper he sounds pretty villainous - tyrannical ruler of a planet who forces people into gladiator games and all that.

But in execution he’s more of... a goof.  He’s basically Michael Scott from The Office - a weird fucking idiot who was given way too much power and weilds it irresponsibly.  He causes problems that can ruin peoples’s lives, sure, but, like, he’s entirely unaware of what he’s doing.  He’s not consciously evil - he’s just a silly bastard who doesn’t understand the consequences of his actions.  He’d be harmless if you took him out of that power structure.

When we first meet him, he metls a guy with a stick.  Most movies would play that for horror.  In Thor: Ragnorok, it’s a comedy beat.  Audiences lose their shit laughing at the dark comedy of that moment.  The Grandmaster COULD have been played as a villain, but instead he was played as a buffoonish antagonist - and he’s BETTER for that.  He’s more memorable for that.

Bucky is a great antagonist in Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but he’s not a villain.  He’s a victim - you can’t hold brainwashed, mind-controlled man accountable for his actions, as everything he’s done was carried out specifically because his own will was overridden.  Bucky’s a damn good character, and if this was a ranking of ANTAGONISTS he’d be up in the top five, but you can’t call the dude a villain.

There are a lot of henchmen in the movies that were full on villains in the comics, like Skurge and Crossbones and so on.  But, look - in the films, these guys are just henchmen.  Some of them are very fun, very interesting henchmen - I chose Skurge to represent them for a reason - but they aren’t VILLAINS.  They aren’t the focus.  They’re a side dish, not the main course.

Holy shit I posted this only to remember Dormammu’s been in a movie ten minutes later while getting cereal.  Movie Dormammu isn’t a villain or a henchman - he’s a cameo, much as Thanos was until very recently.  He fills the same narrative role as a McGuffin - he’s the big bad weapon we have to stop the villain from using.  He’ll probably get to be a character in later movies, but for now he’s little more than a prop.  Fuck, I couldn’t even find a gif of his movie self - had to use his comic counterpart instead.

Honorable Mentions Pt. 2: Sirs And Madamns Not-Appearing-In-These-Films

So the Marvel movies technically share the same universe as various T.V. shows, though at this point the likelihood of that ever being played for more than a few winking nods and veiled references is PRETTY LOW.  Most of these series are designed to be binge watched on Netflix - i.e. consumed all at once, from the comfort of a couch, so the audience can enjoy a longer form story than an individual movie without having to wait several months between installments.  That’s a very different writing task than writing a MOVIE villain - structurally, it’s significantly different, with a whole lot of different problems and possibilities.  Judging the villains of the shows by the same criteria as we judge the villains of the movies isn’t fair - the villains of the shows have a LOT more time on their hands to prove who they are, and without long gaps.  Loki, the villain with the most screentime in the movies, still had less time for his arc than, say, Kilgrave, and Loki’s arc was staggered in two and a half hour chunks with years in between them, while Kilgrave’s story could be consumed all at one upon release.  That’s not a fair fight.

That said, I want to talk about some of the TV villains:

Kilgrave is the single most complex, terrifying, and overall effective villain the Marvel Cinematic Universe has produce, at least from all the content I’ve seen.  None of the other villains (that I’ve seen) are explored as thoroughly, none of them are as personally tied to every facet of the hero they oppose, and none of them - not even world ending Thanos - are as starkly fucking terrifying the depths of their depravity and the strength they have to achieve it.  Kilgrave is brilliantly written, and David Tenant outdoes himself in bringing him to monstrous life.  He is the best villain the MCU has produced.

You know how a lot of the movies have somewhat bland villains by necessity, because giving them too much narrative weight would keep them from properly introducing the hero?  Cottonmouth would have that problem had Luke Cage been introduced in a movie instead of a show.  As it is, Cottonmouth still feels like a “starter” villain - he’s a normal sort of criminal, not a Supervillain - but at the same time, he’s a damn complex and interesting starter villain.  He’s miles ahead of most of the movie villains, but it’s purely because he’s got a lot more time to develop.

Diamondback, by contrast, has a really interesting concept, but is kind of bland in execution.  The show builds him up very well, but slowly drops the ball once he finally shows up in the final half of the season.  Maybe a second season can make good on his concept, but as it is he was kind of mishandled.

I watched about three episodes of Dardevil.  It was very good, but there was a scene where Daredevil tortured a criminal to get information out of him to stop crimes, and that is a dealbreaker for me.  I don’t care if they “explored the ramifications” of it - as far as I’m concerned, when a character tortures someone for information, they are no longer sympathetic and I cannot call them a hero.  I will not watch the rest of that show.

I’ve heard Wilson Fisk is VERY well handled and interesting from enough people to feel that’s almost certainly true.  Shame I can’t see it.

Outside of Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, I also watched two seasons of Agents of SHIELD  as well as The Defenders.  I can’t remember any of the villains from either.  I mean, there definitely were some, but I can’t remember a single one.  Unless we count Danny Rand - I certainly felt personally victimized every time he opened his shitty mouth to say some shitty dialogue and take some screentime from Jessica Jones and Luke Cage in The Defenders. Or the writers of Agents of SHIELD for killing Lucy Lawless off in the same episode they introduced her into the show, thus denying us an awesome character played by Lucy fucking Lawless.  But other than that, I don’t know the TV villains that well.

[nemirutami]

Excuse me for being a weirdo who backreads people's blogs, but I had a small additional question regarding your answer to this ask here: /171315404167/ Do you also hate Alcor? If so, I'm incredibly curious to know why, since never harbored any ill will towards humanity and genuinely cared for the protagonist. (I realize I'm a little biased as I ship them together, but that's beside the point) I do agree most of the characters' motives and views were pretty selfish though.

I LOVE DESU ASKS.... AS EVIDENT BY THE VERY LONG REPLY... (SORRY!)

I’m glad ppl are reading them bc sometimes I feel like I’m yelling directly at a wall and my opinions are just bouncing right off, but I have an answer for that. 

I think the game did Alcor disservice in how he was represented. He would have benefited more from being impartial (but he isn’t impartial- and I’ll go more into detail about how he meddles to tip the scales) but I will admit anime!alcor was worse and just a sloppy attempt at making a NGE reference- but I won’t go into that because I could write an essay about how shitty the DESU2 anime is (I think everyone can- no one that played the game liked it and I can’t blame them).

The characters I actually can’t stand are: Yamato and Ronaldo. Because they’re actually the ones that actively go out and wipe out even ALLIES for their own benefit, not gonna lie- I might hate Ronaldo just a tiny bit more because of Makoto’s fate events, even if Yamato is just as bad if not worse. On top of that, they’re both awful hypocrites and unlike Yamato where I can kinda see the appeal, Ronaldo is completely unlikable. Even so, I can enjoy ships with Yamato in them. Tho I ship absolutely no one with Ronaldo because why would you evoke that kind of suffering in anyone. 

Everyone else is either bordering on annoying, bland, or just a mean spirited asshole. I feel more sympathy for Keita than I do for Hinako because at least Keita calls everyone a piece of shit, whereas Hinako seems to single out Daichi to shit on... on Daichi’s own route. Fumi also talks down to everyone, but in this case, Daichi’s just caught in the crossfire. Similar with Airi, she hates EVERYONE apparently, and will even punch Jungo. Hinako tho seems to specifically target Daichi on his route like... what the fuck is your problem? You called him an idiot twice in 1 battle Hinako holy shit, go chill??? I will never let this go because BOY was just BREATHING and she went “UGHHH YOU’RE SO STUPID” LIKE LET HIM BREATHE HOLY SHIT IS HE NOT EVEN ALLOWED THAT ANYMORE? 

Anyways, onto Alcor.

There’s a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies surrounding how the summoning app actually works (Alcor invented it after all, and gave it to us to use) and all these inconsistencies just make Alcor look bad from a writing standpoint (more of that below). He could have been a good character had he not been written poorly (Much like Yamato and... like 99% of the cast really. Even Daichi suffers from shit writing and I’ll never forgive them for this.) and had the plot not fucked him in the end and basically had him destined to die even on Daichi’s route (which sucks but is understandable since he is a septentrione) perhaps I’d have actually liked him. 

I tend to love characters that obsess with the protagonist, and they���re usually my absolute FAVORITE characters. I’m really surprised I didn’t jump on Alcor’s ship with the protag because it HAD the setting I absolutely adored for relationships to form? Especially the alien/human dynamic since I came into DESU2 right after exiting NGE so I was IN THE MOOD. Alcor in and of himself was just. Not satisfying to interact with (bored me to tears too) because of his cryptic messages that (more than anything) just waste time and bring the player nowhere unless they rank up to like 4 right before Yamato basically THROWS EXPOSITION AT YOU AND EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE PLOT ON THE 2ND LAST DAY (it’s even worse and comes even more out of nowhere if you haven’t interacted with Alcor at all in his fate events. More disservice. They should have made Alcor’s fate events more intimate and given Alcor more plot relevant lines within the plot itself instead of his events. Much like... Daichi really. They fucked up with Daichi by making his fate events more relevant to his character growth than the actual plot. I guess they did the same for Alcor but truth be told, I remember so little about Alcor because more than anything Alcor just bored me. Never quite pissed me off. Just bored me.) 

Ok, but onto the cake. The things that made me iffy on Alcor’s character in general.

Alcor supposedly gave humans fire and culture and blah blah. Already this is telling me to practice immense amounts of disbelief since it’s well documented how these things came about, but I suppose if no one actually knows the history then they can accept this at face value? I wasn’t tho. He acted responsible for it and it put me in disbelief and just made me think he sounded like an idiot. It also made him seem very arrogant, because it implied people NEEDED to be given culture, and that we just didn’t develop culture and diversity on our own. It implies we were all lifeless husks until he came along and granted it to us. Which is insulting.

The fact he’s a septentrione isn’t foreshadowed well and is very obvious from the second we see him floating and talking to other demons/septentriones since he clearly knows what they’re saying. Not really a character-specific issue. Just more problems of bad writing. “Who is he...” Daichi have you seen a HUMAN float in space like that god fucking damn it i love you but why u so duMB WHY YOU ALL SO DUMB IT’S CLEARLY EITHER A DEMON OR A SEPTENTRIONE, THE REAL QUESTION IS- WHY IS HE HELPING US?

Btw that’s another point. Why is he helping us? Oh, right, because he messed up.

He doesn’t want Yamato’s world, but he gave Yamato the power to reform society. Then, when Yamato tries to do what Alcor granted him the means to do, he’s like. Hm. Well. Shit? This guy’s a fucking psycho. Time to place my bets on the protagonist instead (which he does favor a lot- which doesn’t make him impartial really since he clearly favors explaining things more to Hibiki/Protag than anyone else in the game, and it puts everyone else at a disadvantage when a GOD LIKE ENTITY is behind the protag boosting him to make the “right” choice for humanity). I know Alcor was fascinated by humans and wanted them to live (which is fine), yet he didn’t bother to warn the MILLIONS that died (and remained dead in one of the endings- thanks Alcor) due to his negligence. Knowing about it and at least not issuing a warning is cruel. Sure, he gave people the demon summoning app, but the app was considered a “prank site” (nice advertisement, Alcor) as Daichi said at the start of the game (which i hate more than Yamato himself. Daichi. This. This idiot. This idiot signed his best friend up to a DEATH SITE just cus LOLS- the writing is bullshit, and I really disliked early Daichi, too. I disliked some of later canon-Daichi too because he was just rendered to a joke outside his Fate Events). The writing is really unfair on everyone, and it doesn’t help that the app doesn’t work the way it’s advertised to work anyways, seeing as Alcor can twist it to do what HE needs it to do at any time.

For example, the app is said to send death videos regarding people you’ve made a bond with, but clearly that’s all bullshit considering Alcor manually sends Hibiki a warning (and only Hibiki alone) of Otome’s death video so that NO ONE BUT HIBIKI CAN SAVE HER. This implies he can manipulate the death videos personally and exclude others from receiving videos. This. This is not kind. Not at all. I know he was testing Hibiki, but at THIS RISK? Losing Otome can FUCK YOUR PERFECT RUN and outside game mechanics, ELIMINATE ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. If he wanted to, he could kill characters he actually doesn’t like this way by basically not sending the videos out to people, which, if you don’t go to save Otome right away- will be the end of her. He’s putting all his bets on you alone and testing you by cutting off everyone else from the app- potentially hindering backup to save Otome. Sure, you save her but you can just as easily kill her. I can’t say this wasn’t a sleazy test because he was basically playing with Otome’s LIFE and showed no signs of remorse. Some love for humans you have Alcor. Shit dude. This isn’t kind at all.

But I guess these are my main qualms about him- at least the ones I remember- but take everything I say with a grain of salt bc I tried to avoid confrontation with him completely in my 2nd and 3rd run so I have vague memories lingering. I don’t hate him? I can actually like him if he’s written well by other people, but given how he is in the game, I can’t say I ever enjoyed interacting with him. He didn’t annoy me other than the 2 times I’ve stated above, where he basically talks down to us about how we got to our culture and how he kinda lets Otome PERISH if we don’t respond quickly enough. I know it was a test to the protagonist’s will, but aren’t the septentriones a test enough of my conviction, Alcor, honestly. Unlike Airi, Hinako, Keita, and everyone else, Alcor doesn’t annoy me at all. Io annoys me more, if not only because the game wanted Daichi to be plot relevant only for Io to get all the spotlight. Io is genuinely maybe the better written character- it’s just such a shame they flipflop on her as a lead when in any other game, she could easily have been a lead. Her love triangle kills any enjoyment I get from her at all tho and just makes me bitter. More bad writing- who would have guessed.

Tho from a shipping standpoint? You can ship Alcor with Hibiki for good reasons, obviously. There’s a clear connection and fascination there that doesn’t surprise me people flock to (because I would have been there too had they just written him better). I don’t really mind the ship itself. When I say “i don’t mind it” I just mean I don’t feel anything for it and I’d probably not draw it for myself. There are really no ships I hate or really... dislike? There’s just stuff I don’t ship, but I can definitely ship Hibiki/Alcor if it was for a plotpoint of some kind in a fic or art or whatever. It depends on the idea really. 

I guess it’s too late to say something like this so far into the post, but I like to believe that ANY ship works if the construction/buildup to it is good enough. I believe you can make any character do/say anything under the right circumstances with the right motives without it being OOC or feel out of place. I’d like to think talent is wicked like that- a double edged sword of risky ideas that can either make or break your interpretation/perception depending on how you build it up. Though, that takes effort. Something DESU2 sadly lacks in a lot of ares, but it’s still a game worth playing for the experience and I wouldn’t not recommend it for the good parts that are (while few) really, really good.

[elvesofnoldor]

i never hated this game. even back when it first came out about a year ago.  even now i still appreciate the sort of the story that the devs were trying to tell. they had good ideas. Did they do a great job executing these ideas though? i don’t think so, which is why i can never sympathize with people who thought the game was a masterpiece, it’s like, oh you mean a masterpiece on a technical level? yeah absolutely, but the story is riddled with problems and you gotta be a giant meathead if you don’t see them

i really do come to like abby’s story, even though it’s still extremely hard to stomach the fact that she took up HALF of the entire game, she’s not even on the cover of the game! (not gonna lie it’s a bit false advertising on the devs’ part lmao) The fact that abby’s father was literally a faceless npc from the first game is still blowing my mind now. joel dies because a faceless npc’s daughter is angry at him. Still hilarious. This random npc also the best surgeon on board with the fireflies, even though his name wasn’t even mentioned once in the first game cause he doesn’t exist yet! and also he’s only doctor who could have perform the surgery to develop the life saving vaccine. Again, hilarious. I would have been more opened to learn about abby if abby is connected to marlene instead. This random npc becoming more important to merlene is just wild to me. Even now, having seen all of abby’s campaign, it still doesn’t feel like she should take up that much time in the game. sure i appreciate lev’s part in her campaign, in fact lev is the best part of her campaign, and i wanted to see that as perhaps an attempt at paralleling her with joel. she’s bonding with lev as joel bonded with ellie in the first game, becoming parental figure to an orphan and whatnot. except that i dont think abby realizes this at all? it does not factor into her getting closure either? at no point does abby realize that if lev was ellie and she was in joel’s position, she could have cut down somebody else’ father too. so this joel parallel is not working that well. no, she’s supposed to parallel with ellie. 

i think the story is supposed to say that sometimes bad things happened to your loved ones and it’d left a hole in you and you would want closure and you would want justice, but these things are not that easy to come by; and when the circumstances is right, you could have been the one to make bad things happen to other people’s loved ones. joel took away abby’s loved one and abby took away him, who was in turn someone important to ellie. ellie retaliated by taking away abby’s other loved ones while looking for her, and abby killed ellie’s loved ones in response. it’s just a cycle of pointless violence all stemmed from grief.  in the right circumstances, they each could have play the part of the villain in one another’s life. the story is about dealing with grief and loss as the last game, except that this game emphasized on the darker side of the process. it’s about the anger that’s stemmed from grief and how that anger drives one to do pointless things for empty justice, dealing further grief and damage, destroying their own life in the process. Only by letting go of that anger can one truly be free. In theory! it could have made a powerful and heart wrenching tragedy! only in theory though! 

let’s go back to the cover shall we. who’s on the cover? Ellie. this is marketed to be ellie’s story. it was supposed to be ellie’s story. abby’s part, especially after it’s over, just feel like an HOURS long distraction. im still amazed that we learn more about abby and owen’s relationship with one another than we did ellie and dina’s relationship. by amazed i mean angry, actually. i don’t hate owen and abby’s story, i like it actually, but this shouldn’t have been about them. this game should have been about ellie’s complicated relationship with joel after she discovered the lies he told her, it was supposed to be about her grief over losing the only family she has left in this world. this is supposed to be the core of the story while we learn about the life she’s building while befriending dina and jesse. As we become invested in dina and jesse as characters, we’d also learn about the life she would have gone to destroy as she grieves for joel. this game is supposed to be ellie’s story and ellie’s grief, as the last game is joel’s story and joel’s grief. abby simply doesn’t make the most meaningful contribution to ellie’s story. 

not only that, we are supposed to beat the SHIT out of ellie as abby!! my fucking god!! im not angry about anything else in this game up until that point in the story. joel’s death was very rough, but i get it, i get the part it plays in the narrative, but what the fuck is this? Am i supposed to identify with abby here? it seems like we are supposed to considering we are forced to take control of her here. she brutally murdered a guy in front of his loved one, and then now her friends are dead because of what she decided to do and i guess she’s pissed about it and wanted ellie dead? “you killed my friends. we let you live and you wasted it” yeah that line is not registering abby, you tortured someone to death in front of their loved one so honestly idk what you were expecting. im having immense difficulty sympathizing with abby here and honestly i can’t imagine most people in their right minds being able to sympathize with abby here either. And if the players can’t sympathize with their character and want to do what they want to do, then the story fails and the game fails, it’s that simple.

i forget about this boss fight before starting to watch the full playthrough. this entire time i was thinking how fun the combat is and how i would definitely check out the game when im able to, right until that stupid boss fight. somebody talked about how that boss fight mirrored ellie’s fight with the p*dophile from the last game. you know, the guy who was trying to groom her and later kill her? that piece of shit? except now, ellie is in that piece of shit’s place, and you know, unlike him, she is not a piece of shit! And just in what goddamn game, do i want to beat the shit out of one of my most favourite video game characters of all time? devs gotta be out of their goddamn minds thinking people would want to try to kill a well loved character in a boss fight. 

they could have delivered a tightly-packed well-curated experience with a clear albeit potentially non-linear story about ELLIE--as they advertised this game to be, as the players expected it to be. And it would have been great, it would almost definitely still win as many awards as it would now. it would definitely still be the game of the year because it would still be the only game that tried to tell a story as meaningful and soul searching. abby is a good character, i’ve seen people saying she was a fascist? she became a part of a militant resistance group that has evolved to exert authoritarian control over its populace after it destroyed the previously authoritarian military presence, but idk if that’s enough to label the group she’s part of as fascist. And all of that shit happened before she joined. plus she’s not fanatic about the group she joined either, and she defected for most of her story, so yeah i don’t see anything concrete and definitive backing up that claim.  she is not a significantly worse person than ellie, but she sure shouldn’t have been in her story.