#it feels awful and i hate complaining to it with my friends bc they’re just like ‘but you’re smart you can do it’ and like!!! :(

[entropys]

going crazy i don’t think i’ll do well tomorrow T–T

[husbandomail-archive]

Oh my god, I love your Guzma writing!! 😭♥️ Could you do headcanons for him with a trainer who also adores bug-type Pokemon?

well I'm glad to hear that bc I adore Guzma actually and I love writing for him fghmjhgfd. I hope these are okay!!

The big bad Guzma was never popular— and only partially because of his attitude. Even before he befriended his precious Wimpod, his interests leaned towards the creepy-crawly. He was constantly coming home with Spinarak clinging to the back of his clothes, and faint dustings of Butterfree scales in his hair. Add that to the long list of scoldings.

So many people are scared of bug-types, or think they’re gross little things that shouldn’t be trained. His mother would screech whenever even a Caterpie made its way indoors; Pineco were considered a local menace, eating Berry farms until nothing grew; Dewpider and Araquanid dripped lakewater everywhere, often tainted with tufts of fur and other unmentionables. And that’s exactly why Guzma was so drawn to them— like all other Pokémon, they were doing their best to live their own lives, an unknowing piece of something much bigger. And yet, despite that, they were hated. Feared. Cast aside. An awful lot like a sad little boy he knew too well.

By the time he’s an adult, obviously Guzma has embraced his love for the unloved, reaching beyond bug-types and extending to other unwanted children. That doesn’t mean his mindset has completely evolved, though— people continue reacting badly to his bugs, and he can’t tell if it’s because he or Golisopod is the scary one. He’s gotten used to rolling his eyes and stomping his feet whenever someone complains about Surskit’s oily little footprints, or Spinarak’s sticky webbing— so when your first reaction is to coo at his little babies and reach to pet one, he’s stunned. He has to actually stop his rant about “they’re not gross!” to take in what you just said.

When you reveal your own team to him— with a notable amount of his beloved bugs— Guzma is thrilled; he has to catch himself from shouting in excitement, because he does have an image to keep up. To him, your willingness to work so closely with so many loathed pokemon speaks volumes— if you’re willing to accept them, maybe you’ll get along with him as well. Granted, he feels all of this more than he thinks it; Guzma has never been the type to point at others and call them friends, and he’s sure not starting now. You will notice, though, that he’s quick to throw his arm around you— this close up, he’s definitely as intimidating as his Pokémon— and drag you to the nearest cafe for a mug of tapu cocoa. He wants to talk, and you’re gonna listen.

He wants to know everything about you. Where are you from? What kinda bugs did you see growing up? Why’d you choose these specific ones for your team— hey, Grubbin, get out of his salad— and are there any others you’ve raised? When Guzma really gets going, he has trouble stopping; at some point, in the middle of a sentence, he slams his mouth shut and forces a harsh glare onto his face. He’s absolutely said too much— why can’t the big bad Guzma just stay quiet?

But you answer his questions freely. You ask some of your own. You’ve got treats for your Pokémon that you’re more than willing to share with his. Golisopod eats right out of your hand, Surskit nestles onto your shoulder, Grubbin tries to climb into your pockets. Now that he’s past his initial adrenaline rush, Guzma is definitely more guarded, but he’s also not uncomfortable either. You can easily work him open to talking again.

You probably hadn’t expected to make a friend that day, and even though Guzma’s too shy to say it directly, you are one now. You know he’s serious about keeping you in his life when he presents you with an egg he was very careful about obtaining— the day it hatches into a Larvesta for you, he’s just as giddy as you are about the new life. That way, you’ve got something precious that will always remind you of him— the unloved boy who built his own family.

[nugnthopkns]

i wish i could disappear

word count: 3.6k

warnings: explicit!fem reader, cursing, feelings of anxiety due to social media harassment, invasion of privacy that border on stalking

recommended listening: brutal | olivia rodrigo

series masterpost: here

a/n: and we're off to the races!! i love this album and olivia so much. there's a shoutout to goon by tobias jesso jr. in here bc it's my favourite album to cry to lmao (highly recommend giving it a listen!). i'm on the fence about this one but am posting it anyways because i don't think i can make it any better

How the fuck do people find your social media?

All of your accounts are private and Kevin makes sure to never tag you on the rare occasion he posts a picture of the two of you together. The wives and girlfriends who have public accounts make sure to never post about you, and you’re careful not to comment on posts often. You’re a private person and though you understand that due to the nature of your relationship with Kevin you intrigue some fans, you don’t want to give them more than you have to.

Despite making no attempt to open up to the public or media, every day you wake up with hundreds of follow requests from complete strangers. At first it was a little exciting knowing that people were curious about your life but after years of the same routine it’s become draining. It takes you nearly twenty minutes each day to weed through them and accept only the people you know personally. Kevin doesn’t actually know how many people want to catch a glimpse of your daily life because you do your best to keep it from him. Knowing would only bring him stress, and you want him to be able to focus on winning games and loving you with his entire heart.

☼☼☼☼

The phone on your desk rings loudly, pulling your attention away from the computer screen that has way too many numbers on it for your liking. The finance department needed someone to proof their audit before sending it away and since you’re the only one in human relations that has a business degree the job landed on your shoulders. Eager to take a break, you pick it up and press the receiver against your ear.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other side laughs gently, but you immediately know it’s Kevin. “Hi sweetheart,” he says warmly, “How’s work?”

“Fine I guess. It’s work, Kev. Nothing terribly exciting happens here,” you explain but continue to fill him in on all the coffee pot gossip you got this morning. Kevin listens as you complain about forgetting your lunch on the counter and chuckles at how upset the situation makes you.

“What if I told you I’m outside your window with a burrito bowl?”

Excited at the possibility of seeing your boyfriend before dinnertime, you whip towards the window and spot Kevin on the sidewalk, waving like an idiot despite knowing your office is on the fifth floor. You hang up quickly after telling him you’ll be down in two minutes and let the receptionist know you’re stepping out for lunch. There’s a line for the elevator so you head to the stairwell, taking them two at a time in your haste. You’re crossing the street to the small park where Kevin has set up a picnic before your co-workers are even out the door.

You plop down on the blanket beside Kevin and lean into him. He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead before passing you the food he brought. You take a bite, sighing at the taste. Kevin knows you better than you know yourself and knew exactly what to get that would satisfy your mounting hunger.

“Thanks babe,” you smile, holding up your fork and offering him a bite. He takes it graciously but makes a face. “What’s the matter?” you laugh as you take the utensil back.

“I fucking hate avocado.”

The two of you eat in relative silence, speaking only when you remember a detail from your morning. Kevin tells you about the drills he’s going to lead at practice in the afternoon and what he plans on cooking for dinner since he’ll be home before you. You insist you can whip something up when you get home but Kevin shakes his head. He reminds you that relationships are give and take, and that you’ve made dinner the past three nights because he had a string of games. You manage to reach a compromise that has you doing the dishes before you have to return to work.

Kevin insists on walking you back to your office even though you protest vehemently. Your relationship is far from secret, and has been the topic of workplace gossip more times than you can count, but after five years you’ve learned to ignore most of it. However, you don’t want your co-workers to think you flaunt your NHL player boyfriend to prove you’re better than them. They all love Kevin, and a couple of them congratulate him on last night’s goal as he follows you down the hall. A few of the newer hires stare in awe and shake his hand, completely blown away that one of Philadelphia’s biggest stars is asking how they like their jobs.

“Pretty soon they’re going to approach you to do PR for us,” you chuckle as you flip the light on and close the door of your office.

His laughter echoes off the walls as a pair of strong arms find a home around your waist. “It would be kind of fun to hear myself crush those radio commercials.”

“Since when do you listen to the radio?”

“Checkmate,” Kevin sighs, pulling you closer. He kisses you quickly, not wanting to give a show to anyone who could be walking past, but it still sends you reeling. You don’t want him to pull away and kiss him again.

You get your way for a few more moments and then Kevin’s leaving with a promise to not burn the house down and wishes for a good rest of the day. Focussed on giving the audit its final once-over you don’t bother pulling your phone from the drawer you had placed it in when you got to work that morning. You turn up the small radio at the corner of your desk and get to work scanning the document for errors. There’s a mistake halfway through that skews the rest of the data and fixing it takes a bit of time, but it isn’t a huge deal. You have nothing else to do except answer a few emails and organize meetings for after the weekend.

An hour or so later you’ve completed all your tasks and debate what to do. It’s too early to leave for the day, so you decide to kill time by checking your phone. You’re expecting a few notifications, perhaps two or three memes in the group chat you share with your friends, but not the hundreds that greet you.

The majority of them are instagram notifications, and assuming they’re just more fans requesting a follow you ignore them, instead heading to your text messages. There’s a picture from Kevin of a dog he found walking home and another from your mom asking why you haven’t called home in a few weeks. However the one from Claude’s wife is the one that piques your curiosity.

Just a heads up that someone posted a pic of you and Kev to one of those stupid wag pages. I filed a request for Instagram to take it down but it’s gotten a lot of traction. Sorry :((

Your heartbeat increases rapidly and a million thoughts fly through your head at a rapid speed. Fingers shaking, you respond with a thanks and open up the dreaded app. You don’t see it immediately, your feed being full of photos belonging to friends and family, but it’s in your messages almost two hundred times. Many of them have text attached and you know there will be a comment about your relationship regardless of which one you open.

Tapping on the most recent message you brace yourself for the worst. The new window opens a photo someone took of you and Kevin while eating lunch in the park across from your office not even three hours prior. It’s grainy and the camera angle is strange, but you’re eating and Kevin is looking somewhere out of frame. The accompanying caption reads Kev and his girlfriend out for lunch today! Follow @philllywagupdates for more :).

You let out a sigh of relief – it could have been a lot worse. Personal pictures of yourself have made it onto pages like that before and most of them they’re paired with mean-spirited captions about your appearance or other trivial matters. Assuming you’re in the clear, you head back to the page of the original message to thank the person for bringing the post to your attention. However, the message accompanying the post is anything but positive.

He can’t even fucking look at you. It’s only a matter of time before he leaves you

The blood in your veins runs cold. You know it’s not true – Kevin’s made it clear you’re the one and truthfully you’re just waiting for a ring – but it doesn’t stop the sting you feel. What could possess someone to say such horrible things? You decide not to respond despite, possibly opening another can of worms with the seen function, and close the app. Leaning back in your office chair you focus on anything but your phone, looking out the window at passersby while regaining your breath. It works for a while, but eventually not knowing what others said eats away at you. You go through every single message to see hundreds of similar comments to the first, with only a few saying they’re glad you’re happy or how posting the picture is a violation of your privacy.

By the time you’re finished your spirit has been crushed. However, it’s also an acceptable time to start the weekend – at least no one in the office will have to see you cry. Things are hastily packed into your bag and you wave a few quick goodbyes before once again taking the stairs. You curse yourself for deciding to walk to work that morning and set off in the direction of home wiping away tears. The last thing you need right now is for someone to recognize you, but you have to get home. Tobias Jesso Jr plays at much too loud a volume through your headphones and Kevin will most certainly remind you it’s bad for your hearing, but the melancholy piano riffs of Goon overpower the thoughts swirling around your head.

Do people really feel that way about me?

Are my friends just too nice to stop inviting me places?

Does Kevin really feel trapped?

Hundreds of similar sentiments and situations cross your mind as you stumble through the streets of downtown Philadelphia, but you force them as far back as possible before opening the door to the apartment you share with Kevin. Hoping to slip inside undetected, you take your shoes off slowly and throw your jacket on the end table instead of hanging it in the closet. Your plan fails somehow and Kevin hears you, greeting you in a goofy apron covered in flour.

“Hey sweetheart,” he smiles, but it drops once your eyes meet and he sees the hurt on your face. “What’s the matter?”

“It’s nothing,” you insist, trying to step around him in pursuit of the bathroom.

Kevin doesn’t buy it and sees right through your feeble words. “It’s not nothing if you’re this upset. If you don’t want to talk now that’s fine, but I think you should get it off your chest.”

You know he’s right, but you also know you can’t tell him the true cause of your despair. “Just some work stuff,” you sigh. “The audit got all fucked up and I had to fix it even though it’s not my job.”

It’s not technically a lie, which makes you feel better, and Kevin buys it. He presses a sweet kiss to your lips in sympathy. “Go take a shower and the gnocchi should be ready by the time you’re done. We can spend the night cuddling on the couch.”

“And watching Selling Sunset?”

“We can watch whatever you want sweetheart,” he chuckles. You part from him with a final kiss and head to the bathroom. Hopefully the steam from the water will carry away the negativity brought on by that damn post.

☼☼☼☼

Time passes but the hateful comments on social media don’t stop. In fact, you’re pretty sure they get worse. It’s so bad that you’ve deleted every app except facebook because you need it for work. Kevin doesn’t notice your abstinence from social media, but he picks up on how you spend more time criticizing yourself or staring off into space. When he pushes you either brush him off or feed some bullshit excuse about how work is getting you down. You know he doesn’t believe you but trusts you enough to come to him when you’re ready to talk.

You aren’t sure if you’ll ever be able to tell Kevin what’s been going on. There’s been scrutiny from social media before, when you first started dating, but it quieted down after the initial media frenzy. He helped you through that but it’s different this time around. Never before have you had strangers tell you your life is worthless or that your boyfriend should end your relationship. Some of the other wags notice your absence on instagram but chalk it up to you just taking a break. They reach out via the group chat and send wishes to see you at the next home game. It’s nice to know they care, but the voice in your head that has grown much larger in recent weeks tells you they don’t truly mean it. This leads you to decline the invite as politely as possible, citing extended work hours for your absence. In reality you’re too anxious to be anywhere that isn’t home or work, petrified someone is going to post something that will add fuel to the flames of those who interrogate you.

It’s another Friday afternoon, and you’re leaving the office early once again. There’s a small craft exhibition taking place around the corner from work and today is the last day it’s open. You had been meaning to go all week, hoping to find something small to add to Kevin’s birthday gift. As you step out of the building there’s a small group of young women, who don’t look old enough to have graduated college, standing off to the side. It fills you with dread, worried that somehow someone found out where you work and the insults are going to start occurring verbally, but you force yourself to be rational. You work fairly close to one of the artsier districts in the city and it’s more than likely they just want to find a cute mural to take pictures in front of.

You pass by and swear you hear them snicker, but you remind yourself you’ve just been jumpy lately. When they peel from their place on the wall and follow behind at a distance you think the coincidences are running out. It seems a little too strange how their movements line up with yours, and you go down a few winding side streets in an attempt to lose them. Part of you feels ridiculous because what group of barely legal girls would track a full-blown adult around a city of nearly two million people, but your life is currently strange enough you can’t be sure. They don’t follow you, and by the time you reach the market your heart rate has returned to normal.

The first few stalls have little to catch your eye, but a few rows in you find a leatherworker who makes adorable wallets. Kevin’s is ridiculously old and falling apart at the seams – his mom bought it for him before the two of you got together. You think a new one will make a perfect addition to the concert tickets you already bought and browse the table for something simple and elegant. A deep brown one with tan braiding around the edges catches your eye and you know it’s the one for Kevin. Checking the price to make sure you have enough cash in your wallet, you approach the shop owner to purchase. The older man has a kind smile that reaches his eyes as he thanks you for purchasing from him.

“No, thank you for making something so beautiful!” you gush. “My boyfriend is going to love it.”

It’s then you hear it – snickering accompanied by the click of a camera. You look over your shoulder to see the same group of girls from before laughing as they huddle over a cell phone, no doubt already starting to broadcast the photo across the internet. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. Those girls don’t deserve to see their mission accomplished, but the longer they laugh at you the harder it is to swallow your feelings.

Head held high, you thank the owner one more time before holding your head high and walking past the group. The only way out is past them so you hold your breath and pray they don’t notice you. Unfortunately you aren’t that lucky, and one of them looks up just as you come into earshot.

“If Kevin doesn’t leave you after that sorry excuse for a gift I don’t know what’s wrong with him,” she sneers.

Another one chimes in, “You’re honestly so pathetic.” They all cackle in amusement, and you speed up. The tears flow freely now, and you call an uber even though it will be a ridiculous amount of money. You just want to get home.

The uber driver doesn’t say anything when you get in, though you know it’s strange to be bawling your eyes out at four in the afternoon. You can’t help it – weeks of keeping all the hate to yourself finally got to you and being followed with the sole intent of ridicule is the final straw. At one red light he silently passes you a box of tissues, which you accept gratefully.

Luckily the lobby of your apartment complex is empty and you manage to get to your floor without encountering a familiar face. There’s a few hours until Kevin gets home from his final roadtrip of the season, and if you play your cards right you can get all the tears out and be as normal as possible before he comes through the door. You don’t even bother to put anything away, just head straight to the bathroom to slump against the tub. Sobs rack your body and you lose all sense of time. All you can feel is the hurt you’ve been holding in releasing itself and soaking the material of your blouse.

Kevin finds you laying in the position hours later. He tripped over your shoes coming in the door and immediately knew something was wrong – you always place them neatly on the rack in the closet upon arriving home. Peering through the quiet house for a hint at where you are, he sees the bathroom light on and makes a beeline for the room. It breaks his heart to see you like this, and even more so because he doesn’t know what spurred it on.

“Sweetheart, hey,” he coos, maneuvering his body to sit beside you and pull you into his lap. “What’s the matter?”

You bury your head in his shoulder and clutch the material of his dress shirt as you cry harder at the sound of his voice. Kevin takes your reaction in stride, rubbing circles on your back and working on evening out your breath. He doesn’t pressure you to speak and provides the stability you desperately crave as the world around you spins. An unknown amount of time passes before your tears run out, but spend it all on the bathroom floor curled into Kevin.

“I guess I should have told you sooner,” you mumble, “But I didn’t want to bother you.”

Concern laces Kevin’s features and his eyebrows knit together. “Tell me what?”

“I, uh, have been the subject of some internet hate for the past little bit,” you say sheepishly. It feels stupid to not have told him now, but you can’t change that. “But you were really busy with the season and I wanted to make sure your head was completely focused on the game so I just dealt with it myself. I deleted the apps and tried my best to go about my life. And then today after work I was followed by some people and they said some really hurtful stuff and shit became a little too real.”

“I’m so fucking sorry.”

It’s your turn to be confused. “Why are you sorry Kev? You're Not the one sending me death threats.”

He tucks a loose strand of hair back into your ponytail. “Maybe not, but I still made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me about what was going on. What kind of partner am I?”

“The best one,” you say confidently. “It’s okay, I’m okay. I just want to forget about it right now. Can we just disappear for a little bit?”

Kevin wraps his arms around you tighter, as if he can engulf you to protect from the cruel outside world. “We can do whatever you want. If you want to get out of the city for a bit if you want, or just spend the next few days here away from prying eyes.”

“I love you.”

You say it because you mean it, and if you could scream it from the rooftops you would. Kevin is incredibly easy to love, even when you make it difficult for him to love you back. You know another much longer conversation is coming about everything that has happened recently because communication is the only way to solve problems and Kevin deserves that, but you’re thankful he’s willing to put it to rest for a few more moments.

He cracks a smile for the first time since he’s been home and kisses the crown of your head. “I love you too sweetheart,” he whispers, “Always and forever.”

Things are far from over and though you still never want to show your face in public ever again, you know that Kevin is going to do whatever he can to make things better and that’s enough for you.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @ricohenrique @tortito @boqvistsbabe @iwantahockeyhimbo @himbos-on-ice @2manytabsopen if you want to be added just shoot me an ask :)

[g4rous]

Sunlit memories (Garou x Reader)

tags: slight mentions of blood, no warnings really

words: 1.5 k

notes: this one is slightly longer than the two before bc I had to put in a lot of stuff here lol but anyways aa here it is finally! Tried making it a bit lighthearted <3

series masterlist

previous chapter

Chapter three

After lazily opening your eyes, pain spread through your head. The blackness from your vision cleared away, leaving a fog in your mind and the painful sensation was the first thing you could register before you felt the cold brick wall you were leaning on.

What just happened? Trying to recall how you got in that position, your eyes trailed to the opposite wall, now realizing you didn’t even remember being in this alley in the first place.

“Yo, you’re awake.”

Looking over at a few large wooden crates, your focus now shifted to the silver-haired teen sitting on top of them. You didn’t even make out a response upon witnessing the injuries behind his torn, black shirt. The puzzle was coming together.

Last sight you remember before going unconscious were the heroes from that mini-market fighting the same person right in front of you now. For a moment you almost thought you were being delirious, yet those wounds only proved your suspicions. Was he the self-proclaimed “Hero Hunter” everyone has been wild about recently?

“So…” he looked at you with an awkward expression, “ you gonna go now or?”

Slightly flinching as you snapped back to reality, now you were left completely perplexed on what to do. On one hand the realization made you feel quite uneasy, but on the other you were safe for some reason, despite getting caught up in the ruckus from before.

“What happened to those guys earlier..?”

“Oh, their bodies are probably still lying face down right around the corner,” he grinned, “if no one found them already, that is.”

However after picking up your distraught expression that boastful tone faded in an instant.

“Hey, hey they’re not dead, jeez quit freaking out.”

You only frowned after giving him a small glare. Your head still ached, although not as strong from a few minutes ago. How long have you been out? Judging by the still-sunset sky it shouldn’t have been more than fifteen minutes, much to your relief. The street was still deserted and silent as well.

“Well, thanks for saving my skin back there I guess…” you looked over at his injuries, staggering for a moment after standing up.

“However, you should definitely get those injuries checked out. I think I saw a hospital or something around here somewhere.”

A few seconds passed as he looked at you with a blank stare.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“Dude you’re literally bleeding all over.”

“I said I’m fine!-“, he exclaimed only to flinch in pain. “-why are you so worried anyways? Just go home.”

“Talk about stubborn,” you thought to yourself.

Though, on second thought you do see a good reason why he shouldn’t. It’s almost as if you had forgotten that you witnessed him straight up thrash some A-classes. That and all the other questions that piled up still haven’t left your mind, but be as it may now wasn’t the time for overthinking. People must be pursuing him everywhere now, huh?

You leaned against the wall, still contemplating the situation. Water droplets from the roof were the only thing breaking the silence as you both stood there quiet. That is, until you got an idea.

“I don’t plan on talking you into it anymore…” you spoke with a tinge of nervousness, “but I do have some bandages at home. It’ll just be ten minutes until we get there, I give you them and you can leave. I don’t think sitting on those crates until you bleed out is really practical.”

The teen almost reflexively wanted to protest but not a single sentence came out. He really couldn’t think of anything that made your idea sound regrettable, and as much as he hated to admit it he wasn’t in the best shape. You on the other hand felt almost obligated to help him out. Putting aside that shocking realization from earlier, he did watch over you after you got KO’d.

After finally jumping off the crates, he shrugged and put both hands in his pockets.

“Eh, sure.”

You gave a relieved smile before taking a look at the still empty street you were both heading for. The sky turned into shades of amaranthine and bit by bit street lights began illuminating the path. The streets nearing your house weren’t as deserted as the one you woke up in, and occasionally you had to move to a more hidden route. Fortunately you’ve been greeted by your neighborhood cat soon after, indicating the destination- your safe home.

“I don’t think you told me your real name yet, if I may know? I’m y/n by the way.”

“It’s Garou,” he responded after looking around, almost hesitantly.

“So… Why were you doing that today?” you spoke as you reached out for your keys.

“Why does it matter to you?”

“Dunno, you don’t see someone beating up heroes every day.”

Taking a quick glance around your surroundings, you opened the door at last.

“You sure like answering questions with a question, huh?” you gave a tired smile, “ah, I won’t force out any answers from you I guess.”

The lights in the hallway were already open, illuminating the other rooms, some half empty. After all you still had some work to do in the house. Making your way to your room, the bag of trash next to the wall caught your attention briefly. You couldn’t remember the reason you left off in such a hurry, not even throwing it away.

“Well, come in!” you shouted from the other room, “just don’t get any blood on the carpet please.”

But much to your amusement the on-the-outside intimidating man just stood there with a blank expression ever since you stepped into the apartment. You weren’t sure was it politeness or just plain awkwardness but it made you cackle internally.

Even so, after your call he cautiously stepped out to the living room, actually being careful not to dirty the carpet as you told. The room was pleasingly decorated, and even if he didn’t know you it simply radiated with your energy. It was oddly comfortable.

And as you finally stepped out of your room with that first-aid kit, a ring on your doorbell caught you both by surprise. You almost asked yourself whether that’s a hero in front of the door, before your memory got jogged again.

“Well shit.”

You gestured an already alert and intense Garou to step away from the door, to which he only raised an eyebrow.

“Ah…” you whispered, looking over to the side, “I kinda forgot I called a friend over.”

“You remembered just now!?”

“I was knocked out!” you complained, much to his discontent.

What were you supposed to do now? You thought to yourself as your eyes trailed from the door to the teen. The doorbell rang once again as to make the atmosphere grow even more unsteady.

“Guess we have to improvise…”

“You’re joking right?”

“If she saw a beat-up guy jumping out my window I wouldn’t hear the end of it.”

He only rolled his eyes as you went to the door to finally greet your friend, adjusting your shirt along the way.

Frankly, you felt somewhat guilty for roping him in, all bloody and bruised to socialize with your rather concerned friend. Well, who wouldn’t get a little suspicious to see a strange man in their friend’s living room. To make things even more awkward he hadn’t said more than two sentences in the past hour, not that it’s surprising.

“So-,” your friend smiled, desperately trying not to glare at the man’s injuries, “- how did you two become friends?”

“Ah, it’s from that monster incident I told you about earlier,” you smiled back.

“So that’s why he’s so bruised,” she glanced over at him sympathetically, to which he only glared at you deadpan.

“Nothing special.” He spoke in a bluntly before yawning.

“Oh, how come?”

“He delivers stuff!” you exclaimed before any other thoughts came to mind, “sometimes he comes across them there too unfortunately. Poor guy.”

As if his deadpan look couldn’t get any drier.

It was crystal clear he hates being pitied, and you desperately tried not to let out a chuckle because of the ridiculous situation. Truthfully you weren’t even nervous anymore since you let out so many laughs. And your constant teasing only made him talkative since he just had to drop something even more embarrassing for payback, making the evening even more amusing. You didn’t even notice the clock struck midnight already from all the banter.

After saying farewell to your friend, you came back to your living room to see Garou already at the window.

“Looks like you really don’t wanna use the door today huh? Well, way better now than having to explain why some bloody dude jumped out my window earlier,” you grinned, to which he scoffed.

“Pfft, yeah, yeah. Don’t drag me into any more of these things though.”

“Aw, it wasn’t that bad.”

“Well, it better not happen anymore,” he rolled his eyes before flashing a small grin.

“See ya.”

You only gave your small wave before finally closing the window. The apartment was now rather serene, contrasting all the playfulness from earlier. Yet still you couldn’t help but notice that smile caught you by surprise. Nothing like that cocky smirk in battle- this was genuine.

[patchofsunlight]

i’m reposting bc it’s not showing up in the tags and I’m mad about it lmao!! hope you like it!!

check out my 800 followers event!

warnings: cursing because uh. this is bakugou katsuki. and this is so long. i put so much more effort into this than into any of the others i can’t do anything if i’m in love with him i’m sorry

Katsuki definitely did not think he would fall in love with an extra like you. In fact, he did not think he would fall in love at all.

Yet he did. Like an idiot.

You were friends with fucking Deku, of course, and almost as annoying as him. He always saw you around with him and the Half-and-Half Bastard and he promised himself he would never give you more than a glare because you simply did not deserve to be in his thoughts, and he succeeded at that

at first.

You decided to live rent-free in his mind after the Sports Festival. That was the first time he actually payed attention to you and it was safe to say he was slightly impressed

He was sure you would’ve ended up on the final battles if you hadn’t had to fight Icyhot before you got there

even then, you gave the idiot a run for his money and Katsuki was surprised with how long you held your own, getting a bunch of good hits and losing only because Todoroki was, well, Todoroki.

He respected you a bit after that

but he did not respect the way you were always plaguing his thoughts and dreams like a fucking virus of sorts

It was irritating as fuck and he wanted to kill someone over it.

Whenever he saw you his heart sped up to ten miles per minute and it made him see red with anger. He wasn’t sure what made you so important, anyway. Yes, you were powerful and somewhat pretty but still an idiot and Deku’s friend so how good could you actually be? Certainly not much

Still, there he was, thinking about you like a fucking stupid dumbass

He hated it, despised it, it made his blood boil. This was probably caused by some secondary quirk bullshit you had that no one knew about and he was tired of losing his damn time over it.

And you were always talking to him. For some god awful reason your seat was close to his and so you would ask about his day and about what he had for lunch and about his studies and a bunch of ridiculous shit he didn’t give a fuck about

“Shut the fuck up, Y/N, I don’t wanna talk to a fucking extra like you.”

“Why so grumpy, Explosion Boy?”

“I’LL KILL YOU”

he obviously didn’t.

It was weirdly comforting to have someone interested in his life, if he was honest about it.

But not much. It’s not like he liked you or appreciated you in anyway, of course not. That would be absolute bullshit and he was not willing to deal with it.

Getting kidnapped by the League of Villains was one of the worst things to ever happen to him.

Even though he fought his way through survival and didn’t get hurt or anything, it was still pretty terrible and, well, with everything that happened with All Might later... It’s safe to say it didn’t leave him feeling exactly good about himself

Besides, damn Deku was the one to help him escape and it pissed him off.

Specially because you were there too and how much of an idiot did you have to be to get caught up in something like that?

Did you want to die or something? Fucking extra. It made him so mad.

And worried, too, because what if you had gotten hurt? What if something bad had happened and he couldn’t help? Not that he cared, of course, but the thought of you being anything but healthy and fine made his heart jump uncomfortably in his chest and he didn’t like it one bit.

After that, you suddenly decided you wanted to be his friend or some bullshit, and it was the most annoying thing he had ever had to go through.

Talking to him randomly during class wasn’t fucking enough for you? Did you really have to walk with him to the dorms and invite him to have lunch with you? God, you were really insufferable.

But he found himself appreciating your company, sometimes. It was nice to have someone by his side like that, even if he couldn’t stand you

And maybe the fluttering of his heart whenever you smiled wasn’t all that bad.

You suddenly became a part of the Bakusquad after inviting him to have lunch with you multiple times and being rejected all of them until Mina started inviting YOU to have lunch with THEM instead and he wasn’t sure how to react to it

Kaminari was always fucking babbling with you about something and it got on his nerves

It was still better than seeing you running around with fucking Deku though. Deku did not deserve your friendship.

Sometimes, when you are too invested in conversation with someone else during lunch, he can’t help but steal glances at you and bite back a smile.

You’re cute when you’re excited.

He slowly stops complaining about you walking him to his dorm

You keep playfully saying you do it in case someone tries to kidnap him on the way and he screams at you for it everytime, but something tells you he goes easy on you for some reason.

There’s this one time when you call Kirishima “cheap ass red rock candy”

You’re only joking around and Kirishima knows this, so he only rolls his eyes and lightly punches your shoulder

but, for the first time ever, Katsuki laughs. He tries to hold it back like he does with every smile you bring to his lips, but he can’t, and the way your eyes sparkle at the sound sends his stomach in a frenzy

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh before,” you tell him quietly while you walk towards the dorms later that day, curiously avoiding his glare as you blush. He furrows his brows. It’s not like you to do that, but his heart does sommersaults in his chest at your bashfulness and he hates it.

“So fucking what?” his voice is aggressive, but there’s a hint of warmth rising to his face.

“It’s a nice sound,” you smile ever so softly and he stops breathing for a moment, “you should laugh more.”

“Whatever,” he mutters, hiding away his own red cheeks from your questioning eyes and walking a bit faster.

After that, he tries less to bite back his laughter. It’s almost subconscious and no one comments on it, but Kaminari, Kirishima, Mina, and Sero exchange knowing looks while you excitedly tell him about the last movie you watched and he grunts in acknowledgement, his full attention on you even as he avoids your eyes and stares at his lunch.

There’s this one time when you go to his room because you can’t sleep and it makes him so angry because he was already absolutely knocked out

yet he can see how much you’re fidgeting and something about the fact you came to him of all people causes his stomach to flutter, so he lets you in and listens while you tell him you’ve been having nightmares lately.

That’s the first time you ever sleep in his room, but neither of you acknowledge the way you’re holding each other when you wake up

It becomes kind of a tradition for you to go see him when you can’t sleep. He always complains about it and tells you to grow the fuck up, but lets you in anyway.

He likes to hold you while you sleep. It calms down his erratic heart and it’s nice, he figures. It’s nice to have someone to wait for, specially if that someone is you.

Katsuki tries not to think too much about what the feelings he gets when he’s next to you mean. After all, you’re still some annoying extra he couldn’t care less about, right?

Right?

It happens one cold night in the dorms’s common room.

You are just hanging out with him and the Bakusquad, watching some movie about something Katsuki doesn’t care about. He’s just looking through his social medias and ignoring all conversation going around him

You’re seated on the other couch, next to Sero, and he knows there’s a spot just on your other side, and a part of him longs to occupy it and be next to you, but he knows that’s stupid, so he stays put, even when you suddenly glance at him and smile when you notice how his eyes were already on you

He rolls his eyes and scowls, feeling his face heat up, but keeps quiet.

Then fucking Deku comes around and sits beside you. He’s obviously upset about something and Katsuki wants to kick his ass for simply being in close proximity to you

Yes, he knows you’re his friend too, but still. Deku can get fucked.

Deciding just being next to you isn’t enough, Izuku leans his head on your shoulder.

Katsuki sees fucking red. He’s ready to get up and punch his nose, but that was before you lifted your hand to play with the boy’s green hair, quietly asking him if everything was alright before you engaged in a whisper-filled conversation.

If looks could kill, Deku would’ve been dead in a second.

Kirishima is the first to notice how absolutely rageful he is.

“Hey, Bakubro, are you okay?”

“Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair.”

He follows Katsuki’s glare and widens his eyes at the sight of you and Midoriya, smirking.

“Are you worried, Bakubro? Don’t worry, they’re just friends! She only has eyes for you!”

“I’m pretty sure I told you to shut up, didn’t I?”

“Come on, Bakubro! Your crush is definitely not in love with Midoriya, okay?”

“I don’t have a fucking crush, Shitty Hair!”

all eyes turn to his fuming figure after he screams. Izuku takes his head away from your shoulder, brows furrowing in confusion. You stare at Katsuki with concern, silently asking yourself what could have brought him to this outburst.

He groans in anger before standing up and leaving the room, unable to stay around you and fucking Deku any longer.

Mina sends you a look and you’re on your feet, telling Izuku you would be right back and running after the angry blond.

He was sitting on the stairs just outside the dorms, trying to control his own fury. You sit next to him and he scowls.

“What happened back there, Katsuki?” you question softly and his first name on your lips has him on the verge of an emotional breakdown. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he groans, looking at the ground as so to avoid your sharp eyes, “I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Did I fucking stutter?”

You smile lightly at his manners, moving your head so you could watch him more attentively.

“Well, I heard you talk about having a crush. What about that, huh?”

He blushes immediately, scowling even harder and turning away from you so you can’t see his face, “I said I don’t have a crush, you idiot.”

You hum in acknowledgement, “that’s too bad.”

Katsuki moves his neck so fast it almost gives him whiplash, and he blushes harder when he notices how close to him you are.

“What do you fucking mean by that?”

“I wouldn’t mind you having a crush if it was on me.”

He melts on the spot, heartbeat speeding so much he can barely feel it beating.

You two stare at each other and he absolutely loves the cheeky grin on your face.

You look so pretty when you smile.

He kisses you before he can overthink it, chest fluttering at the feeling of your smile against his lips. He ends up smiling too, just a bit.

Katsuki definitely did not think he would fall in love with an extra like you. In fact, he did not think he would fall in love at all.

Yet he did, and he could begrudgingly admit it wasn’t actually that bad.

[mira--mira]

Hi! I was wondering

How do you think Hashirama and Madara would be in a Road to Ninja version?

I remember once reading a Hashimada fic (which I never finished RIP) that was about Madara appearing in the RTN universe and the 3 things that stucked with me were:

1.- Madara was the first Hokage (something that Madara thought was horrible when he saw his sculpted face on the Hokage mountain 🤣)

And personally I think that it would not have been like that even in the RTN universe because we didn't see his face along with the other faces of Hokages in the movie (Yeah, apparently I'm basing myself on a movie which I'm not even sure if it's canon or not, even though Kishimoto wrote it) and the RTN characters didn't seem to even know who Madara is.

2.- Hashirama having his bowlcut as an adult

And I agree with the Madara from that fanfic, it looks awful on him. Hashirama, babe, I'm sorry but the only ones who can rock that style are Guy Sensei and Rock Lee, I know you just were trying to be cool but it doesn't suite you.

3.- Tobirama was a porn writer

Instead of being a fan of forbidden jutsu and creating justus, he wrote porn novels a la Jiraiya. And I'll hold that headcanon with my dead hands.

The only other fanfic that places the founders in the RTN universe is one where the protagonist is Mito (it's an interesting one-shot that pairs her with Itama 🤔)

She was kind of a shy person 🤔? And so it was Tobirama 🤣 which I found fun.

Hashirama, as the first fanfic I mentioned, was the Tobirama of the place (saddenly Madara wasn't in this fic).

So I would like to know what are your versions of the founders (or only Hashirama and Madara if it is too much) in the RTN universe! And how do you think things would be

Hmm, RTN is an interesting concept to me but, to be honest, I don't think Konoha would exist if a lot of personalities got flipped 😂 I haven't read any RTN fics with the founders, but if you, or anyone else, have links at hand I'd love to check them out 👀

1. Madara

Here's the big one and the crux of why I don't think the village would exist. Typically I characterize Madara as an extremely responsible man who internalizes things when he shouldn't, takes himself way too seriously, is aggressive and abrasive even to people he loves sometimes, but genuinely loves the people closest too him. Reversing this would make a character that slacks off, takes no responsibility, and is completely passive in life and has fleeting attachments to others around him. Assuming he wouldn't die on the battlefield, I could see the RTN "alternate" personality coming about of Madara's being so overpowered and competent that he loses interest and distances himself from things before he can get attached and lose them.

It makes building a village very hard though. (At first I was tempted to go RTN Sasuke route and maybe RTN!Madara is a little more openly flirty than canon!Madara, but the passivity and refusal to take responsibility would be the "core" qualities for me.)

2. Hashirama

Hashirama is a bit weird because he has a lot of surface-level "conflicting" traits in canon. He is optimistic but he pushes beyond his natural attitude and uses it as a mask to hide instead of addressing his feelings. He's mischievous, likes jokes and games, and can be a bit hedonistic with his pleasure but can equally be serious when necessary and will willingly sacrifice for others around him. And simultaneously, Hashirama and Madara are connected by a shared sense of idealism but also anger. Hashirama is a very kind, but extremely angry, man. I think a RTN!Hashirama would share a kind of apathy of RTN!Madara but instead of passivity his lack of anger would manifest as cruelty. Because canon!Hashirama is angry but his anger is usually a righteous kind. I don't think RTN!Hashirama would go out of his way to be cruel, but he doesn't have the empathy of canon!Hashirama, especially to others' suffering. He enjoys fighting just a bit too much and has no qualms about killing. In his mind, he should always come first in any situation and prioritizing (or even considering) others' is effort and him going out of his way to be "nice" and the other should be thankful. Similarly if he feels any negative emotion, he won't bottle it up and swallow it down, he'll immediately address it, usually confrontationally. RTN!Hashirama is as intelligent as his canon counterpart but he doesn't suffer fools and he hates it when people underestimate him. He's pretty proud and vain, tbh.

I really don't think the above would make him the "Tobirama" of RTN verse. To me Hashirama and Tobirama have different core values and perspectives and inverting Hashirama's doesn't make it become Tobirama's, if that makes sense. This one is also wordy bc I immediately knew how RTN!Madara would be RTN!Hashirama is a bit harder to pin down. But I hope it's clear why I have doubts about the village existing...maybe if RTN!Hashirama got it in his mind as a pet project for the hell of it, that he'd be a better leader for the country and not just the Senju alone, and RTN!Madara liked the idea of no responsibility and being able to detach even further than he already was? But that's still kind of grasping for a reason.

3. Hashimada

Equally I think any Hashirama/Madara relationship would be ehhh. They definitely wouldn't have the overwhelming bond of their canon counterparts, and it could be a relationship ripe for unhappiness. The closest I can think of to making the ship work is RTN!Madara would be drawn to Hashirama's absurd level of self-confidence and able to let the casual cruelty slide off instead of getting worked up about it. In a way RTN!Hashirama is stable and predictable. If he's pretty overpowered, there's less of a chance RTN!Madara would lose him, so their relationship isn't deep but it's more or less dependable and Madara knows exactly what he's going to get. In contrast RTN!Hashirama has an audience in the form of RTN!Madara and a partner that's not going to push back against his ideas. RTN!Madara doesn't ask for much and he doesn't complain when RTN!Hashirama puts himself first. He doesn't want, or might not be capable of, the deep emotional bond their canon counterparts have. RTN!Madara wouldn't leave Konoha (if it existed) in the AU, because he doesn't really care. If someone upset RTN!Hashirama and he decided to leave to 'do it right' RTN!Madara would probably follow, maybe out of some loyalty for RTN!Hashirama but mostly because it's what's easiest.

4. Tobirama

The core of Tobirama's character to me is prioritizing logic over emotion and both a conscious and unconscious failure to realize he can't completely eliminate emotion. Tobirama loves his brother, he's curious and has a desire to find out what makes things work and is willing to bend morality to get results if it'll serve a greater good. He's very aware of the unfairness of the world but believes it's an unspoken truth of humanity and can only be mitigated through logical means, but never completely erased. He'll be the sacrificial lamb, the one that works in shadows so his brother can have his utopian dream. Despite everything, he loves his genin, the strongest bonds he has aside from Hashirama, and does try to instill in them lessons he think will help them and lead to peace and stability in the village. He's still influenced by the prejudices of his time and can never find it in him to truly forgive the Uchiha.

A RTN!Tobirama would be a man ruled by emotion. Him writing erotica all day definitely could be one way this manifests lol. But overall he's sensitive and spiritual and can't stand the idea of killing. He and RTN!Hashirama don't get along and he actively tries to avoid his brother. RTN!Tobirama has equally strong principles as canon!Tobirama, but they're pacifist in nature and while he likes his studies, he prefers to be out talking to people and learning from them first hand. He's very naive and can be easily taken advantage of and he has trouble focusing on any one thing for too long. No matter how many times this happens, he never can harden his heart or be overly suspicious of others. RTN!Tobirama would most likely be the one support peace in this AU. He embraces the Uchiha and all the Senjus past enemies with open arms, almost to a foolish degree. It'd be a bad idea if he became hokage in this AU because he's a terrible negotiator and has a bad people-pleasing streak and struggles with long-term tactics. With the exception of RTN!Hashirama, who he considers an aberration who doesn't have a soul, humans at their core all have good intentions at heart.

5. Mito

I characterize Mito as a very level-headed woman. Her marriage to Hashirama is political in nature but they grow to be good friends and she never expected to fall in love and she's glad Hashirama didn't want a traditional wife. Mito is devoted to her community work (she works hands-on with people in the village), she seeks out connections with others and, despite the distance, remains close with her family in Uzushio, constantly writing them letters. She's spiritual and follows the Uzumakis' beliefs (not gonna list this OoT spoiler lol) and studies fuinjutsu in her spare time, something she's done since she was a child. She is willing to sacrifice if it meant protecting something she considered greater than herself, much to her own personal detriment. She loves and is proud of her children and grandchildren, but if she had a choice, she would have chosen to remain childless, she finds her true calling elsewhere.

RTN!Mito, similarly to RTN!Tobirama, is ruled by emotions. She dreams of one day making a good marriage for herself and centers romance and being a mother as her ideal life, but she's extremely picky when it comes picking the perfect husband. RTN!Mito knows how much she's worth and she refuses to settle and will not even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. She has a hard time forming long-lasting, deep bonds with other people and views starting her own family as the solution to this problem. At times she can be a bit absent-minded and unintentionally selfish, but she's not actively malicious. She blusters a lot and depending on the situation can come off as cold and uncaring, but it's only to hide the depth of her true feelings and loneliness. In this AU she would absolutely refuse to marriage RTN!Hashirama. Nothing on hell or earth, could make her change her mind.

Mito is such a blank-slate character it feels like writing an oc more than a canon character, tbh. And this is something I don't see brought up a lot but a "heart full of love" to combat the kyuubi's hatred to me has never been exclusive to romantic or familial (to children) love. *cough* I want a complex female character who's not vilified for not wanting to have children and/or regretting having them *cough* Mito's "love" was for the people of Konoha and Uzushio. My personal headcanon regarding her and Hashirama's child (I don't think she had more than one) was that she was dedicated to her son, but quickly realized being a mother wasn't her dream or something she even actively liked. The kid was well-cared for and she was dutiful towards him, but Hashirama was the parent that loved and embraced him with his whole heart and it led to some tension between Mito and her son as the kid could tell the difference and neither of them were "wrong" to feel the way they did. This is why Tsunade was shown with Hashirama instead of Mito, he was a lot more present in her life when she was young (instead of Kishi just not having made Mito as a character yet). But after Hashirama and Tsunade's dad died (and then Nawaki), she and Mito grew close but it was definitely more of a friendship or student/mentor relationship rather than a traditional grandmother/granddaughter relationship but both were satisfied with it and loved eachother. Likewise I didn't want RTN!Mito's characterization to be shallow and hit misogynistic undertones with her being an "opposite" to Mito's calm, level-headed, focused on her work/passions characterization.

6. Closing thoughts

#1: Wow this got long #2: I feel conflicted about RTN because it seemed to flip surface-level characteristics instead of deep characterizations, and ignored flaws altogether. The ones above, esp. Hashirama and Madara's, are kind of dark in a way? But that's the only way it makes sense to me...Gai and Lee caring about style and being stylish is a funny joke but if you were to actually poke and prod and say their personalities were inverted, neither of them would be top-notch ninja as we know...unless I'm just completely misremembering RTN because I realize it's been years since I saw it lol. Anyway, hope this was entertaining!

[miraculouscontent]

Some fandom-centric asks~

Anonymous said:

Ok I decided to check out the Reddit for the series specifically on lies and I am genuinely annoyed that most of it is just feeling bad for adrien or insulting Marinette like you can ignore everything adrien has done in this specific episode but feel that Marinette is the worst and this episode was her fault. So I learned to stay off of that subreddit

Yeah, I’ve heard that certain sites tend to lean this way or that on the whole Adrien situation. From what I know, YouTube - for example - is full of those same kinds of people.

Anonymous said:

Gang of Secrets spoiler: I can practically feel the hate that Marinette is going to get for her decision coming along (by not telling Adrien/Chat first), even though people are quick to forget what happened the last time Chat knew her identity (Chat Blanc is a pretty good indicator why she wouldn't tell him).

Considering “Miraculous New York” and how she had to stress to him that calling her was only for emergencies, I think we all can understand why she didn’t tell him anything.

“All” meaning me and my followers. I don’t think other people will get it.

Anonymous said:

You know, right after watching gng of secrets I was just mildly annoyed with it, but now that I've had some time to observe the fandom's reaction to it, I think it's now one of my absolute least favourite episodes, just bc anti salters are being so annoying about it.

“Marinette told Alya and therefore--!” That’s not how this works, bucko.

Anonymous asked:

Idk if you've watched gang of secrets yet, but I hate how people are now mocking Alya salters for how "wrong" they are, just bc Alya did the bare minimum of being a good friend one (1) time. Like I don't even hate Alya, I feel mostly neutral about her, but I still think that she's one of the absolute last people that should be trusted with any sort of sensitive information. I mean I get that there are quite a few Alya salters that take things way to far (there's a reason my list of blocked users is like a mile long), but that doesn't excuse Alya sugarers also being awful.

See, this is what happens in the show. The show will have a character doing one nice thing and the anti-salters will go off as if said nice thing immediately negates everything that the character did wrong??

Are these the same people who got on our case when we salted, saying that we don’t understand “nuance” and that “a character doing one bad thing doesn’t make them a bad person”??

Like, guess what, also works the other way: one good thing or even a few good things doesn’t change all the bad things Alya has done.

Anonymous said:

Hypocrisy bitches who whined about how Marinette didn't owe Luka her secret in Truth when we only had a SYNOPSIS now in Gang of Secrets doing 1 of 2 things, either saying that they're happy because Alya dEsErVeD to know first and saying nothing about her feeling entitled to Marinette's secret at the start of the episode, or complaining because Ladybug owed Chat Noir her secret and he dEsErVeD to know first. :|

Considering I’ve already done a very long post about the fandom’s hypocrisy concerning the love square, I’m not even remotely surprised. I anticipated all of this.

If I included fanon stuff in “Didn’t Need Burrow,” I can guarantee that we’d have filled up another card by now.

[utterlyinevitable]

After seeing ur explanation for that anon i really want to see a fic or a hc of ethan as a dad and becca as mom can u please do it??

omg okay ahhh my babys having babies. this is gonna be long and idk if it’ll make sense bc imma jot down everything i know about domestic e&b.  

[just finished and... this is long and broken down into 6 categories........... enjoy!]

Ethan & Becca as Parents

The Pregnancy 

They didn’t plan on having children, it just kind of happened. Becca and Ethan took a day for the news to settle before they jumped into excited, expecting parents mode.

The most exciting part was renovating the condo to make the most perfect nursery and shopping for decorations and mentally planning all the traditions and things they’d love to give to their little family. 

All of the happiness couldn’t mask the struggles of pregnancy. 

Becca hated being pregnant. She was sick and nauseous constantly, and her back and feet always ached. 

Throughout the whole thing Ethan doted on her; holding her hair back and learning how to tie it up in the way she likes, rubbing her back, running out to get whatever she was craving. 

He even made copious amounts of notes about her eating patterns. Enough to keep two of everything in the condo. 

If she was having a restless night, he would too; even if she was restless for non-human-growing reasons. 

They were in this together.

And even when she was huddled over a garbage pail, dribble running down her chin, she never looked more beautiful to him. 

There was just something about all this that made him feel all weird and fuzzy inside. 

When her symptoms barely settled throughout the second trimester she overhauled her entire birthing plan. There was no way she was making it to 42 weeks. She was absolutely miserable. So she made a c-section appointment for 40 weeks. 

She had an entire argument with Ethan one evening (she really was only yelling while he nodded his head). Her main points were:  “It’s my body and the baby will be fine. I was born 6 weeks early and I turned out fantastic!” and  “Once the baby’s out of me I’m still going to have to pee. Omg what if she rips me open!? How am I supposed to use the bathroom without worrying about my stitches?”  

All he kept reiterating was:  “I love you. I trust you and your instincts.” 

Becca felt better as he held her face in his large hands, his calming azure eyes boring into hers and letting her know everything will be alight. 

But deep down she spent the next few weeks since making the appointment wondering if she should have given vaginal birth a try. She didn’t want Ethan to resent her for chickening out of her body’s natural function. 

The Birth 

Becca made it to her c-section appointment. Happily rubbing her large belly and glowing:  “I can’t wait to not be pregnant anymore! Never do this to me again.” 

All Ethan did was chuckle. 

He was happy she was getting color back and that her symptoms finally settled enough for her to spend the last few weeks enjoying their daughters kicks. But oh my god was Ethan Ramsey terrified of being a father. 

He wouldn’t tell Becca though. She was emotional and worried enough as is. Any and all his concerns were saved for the short conversations he had with his father.  “Don’t overthink it, son. The moment you lay eyes on your daughter you’ll know what to do. It’s instinct. Biology. That was your best subject in school, wasn’t it?” Alan would joke.  

The surgery went off without a hitch. 

All of Becca’s hatred for the phenomenon of pregnancy vanished the second the nurse placed their daughter on her chest. 

Rebecca was in awe. She made that! This little person came out of her! This little pink person that looks like a plucked chicken with a tiny tuft of brown hair was here and she was beautiful. The perfect combination of her and Ethan. 

The embodiment of their love.   

Dakota Dolores Ramsey was completely unplanned. Unplanned but not unwanted.  

The first time Ethan Ramsey held his daughter time froze. The universe needed a minute to process the broad grin and full heart thumping rapidly from this stoic and reserved man. 

The earth was about to spin the wrong way but then Dakota opened her eyes.

Everything was the way divinity had planned it.  

At Home

Although Ethan and Becca lived a 10 minutes drive from Edenbrook, nearly a straight run, Becca forced him to drive as slow as possible. 

Dakota was asleep and she needed to keep it that way. 

Due to her stitches, Becca was forced to take things easy. No matter how many times she argued with Ethan that she was capable of menial tasks around the house. 

Ethan would not let her lift a finger. 

If Dakota needed a change he’d happily do it. if Becca was hungry he’d make her favorite. 

“You had her to yourself for nine months. Let me take the next few days.” Becca went to retort, all she wanted was to hold her baby for the rest of eternity. She’d never tire of looking at her scrunched up potato face and watching as her features changed every moment of every day. “I promise to share.” “You better,” she kissed him as he tucked her into bed for a much needed nap.

The only thing he was forced to share with his partner was feeding duty - Becca was adamant on breast feeding. A bottle would not touch their daughters lips for months to come. 

That in itself brought its own challenges. 

Most nights Ethan laid in bed with Becca curled up at his side in one arm and Dakota resting on his bare chest. 

Parenting was weird, but an exhilarating change. 

Ethan couldn’t diagnose what he could have possibly have done right in his life to be this wholly happy. 

The Second

Once Ethan and Becca had one child they were both itching for a second.

“You know what say: ‘if you have one you have to have two’.” “Is that so?”  “You don’t want Dakota to have a sibling?”  “I was an only child and look how I turned out.”  “Emotionally stunted and certified loner?” she teased. 

Truth be told, Ethan wanted another. He’s been thinking of giving his pride and joy a few siblings for weeks now. He just didn’t know how to tell Becca. 

Becca complained frequently about how happy she was to not be pregnant, and often about how her scar healed funnily. 

All of the signs pointed to her not wanting another. And Ethan was okay with that. He never expected to have one child. He’d cherish every moment of what’s been placed right in his fingertips. 

He’ll let his soon-to-be wife choose their path. She’s dictated everything else thus far. Ethan was elated she chose him to be along for the ride. 

After Dakota’s first birthday, when they made the decision to have another, they tried desperately to conceive.

“I really don’t want to have to deal with diapers for five years,” was Becca’s main reason for keeping the kids close in age.  “We can try surrogacy.” Ethan offered, knowing how much she hated pregnancy. He didn’t want to push her into anything.    “No. I have to do it. I’ll do it for our kids. But you owe me big time.”  

And 14 months later Caroline Marie Ramsey made her grand appearance. 

And Becca got her first push present. 

The Last 

It’s fitting that four years later Ethan and Becca were blessed with another surprise. 

Her pregnancy with James Jonah was the smoothest of them all. 

Of course that meant something had to go wrong. 

At 34 weeks Becca went into premature vaginal labor. 

Within six hours their baby boy arrived. 5lbs 2oz and looking like an alien. 

Ethan almost lost them both after the fact. 

Becca lost too much blood with the placenta and JJ was so tiny.  

But the Lao’s were fighters and they pulled through. Ethan cried at her bedside once the harrowing 24 hours were up. 

Becca stayed at the hospital for a week, Ethan and Alan bringing the girls to visit every single day. 

JJ had to stay a few days longer and Becca refused to leave until she could bring her son home. 

She went through her first experience with postpartum depression. Becca didn’t think anything could be worse than the mental toll her abortion had on her years earlier. But she was wrong.

She was so wrong. 

All their friends chipped in to help take care of the kids while Ethan devoted his time to helping his wife. The couple went to therapy, sometimes together, other times Ethan sat in the waiting room as Becca worked through her emotions. 

Months later, the parents were sitting at home. Ethan held their son and their daughters were curled on their laps: He muttered into his wife’s hair, “I’d like to have one more.”  “Not with me you’re not,” she scoffed. “We’re outnumbered as is.” 

JJ began to cry and the girls stirred. Dakota mumbling, “Tell the baby to shut up, I’m sleeping here.” 

They couldn’t help but laugh and pull apart to put their whole world to bed.  

Old and graying and spending more time at home with his kids, Ethan wanted just one more baby. Four was a strong, even number. He could have a whole daycare full of them - each one the best variations of him and Becca. 

Becca had spent a large portion of her 30s childrearing and she’s done. Done with diapers and formula, especially. She loves her children more than anything but they’re exhausting. She can’t wait for them to be in school full time and she can have some more alone time with her husband. It’s been so long since it’s been just them too.  

“Don’t hate me...”  “I could never hate you,” Ethan said as he brushed a few strands of hair from his wife’s face.  She swallowed and confidently said, “I want you to get a vasectomy.” 

He agreed without further consideration. She made a very compelling argument.  

Parenting 

Ethan is the doting helicopter dad and Becca is doctor drill sergeant. The kids get away with nothing under their mother’s watch. 

Ethan is very soft and adores his children. The grumpy attending could have a whole gaggle of them. He spoils his daughters rotten, picking up the newest doll and toy they’re obsessed with, and making them promise not to tell mommy. 

The women in Ethan’s life get away with everything and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

When the girls were born, Ethan stepped back at work letting the better Dr. Ramsey have her career defining moments.

He took half days to pick the girls up from preschool and would bring them to the park or museums. He’d even try to teach them to cook their favorite recipes on cold, rainy days. He’d tire them out so that he and mom could tuck them in after dinner.

Ethan’s afraid of his son. He’s afraid the tot is going to turn out exactly like him - he’s the spitting image, except that his hair curls like his mother’s. 

Instead of putting JJ in fulltime daycare, Ethan chose part time preschool. The girls were in primary school now and he’s taken a bigger step back from the hospital after the baby was born. 

He devotes all his free time to teaching his son about all he knows and learning all he doesn’t.  

Becca complains about the state of her vagina and stomach all the time. Never in front of the children but often enough Ethan knows the look on her face right before she says the same two lines.  

Her favorite activity is building forts and taking the kids to the beach. 

The holidays have never felt more alive with the full house. Ethan even became a Christmas and Valentines Day lover. 

Becca loved watching him change over the years. Every new first they celebrated with each child, every one of their kids passions, Ethan would adopt them all and make it his mission to be a connoisseur of every facet.

Dakota sat her parents down one day with a serious topic of conversation: “Mommy, Daddy. I’m going to be a fashion designer.” “Will you?”  “Yes. And I need to dress myself.” “As long as it’s weather appropriate, consider it done.”  “And we need to get supplies.” 

The conversation went on for 15 minutes with Ethan and Becca asking questions and Dakota making demands. Once they’ve settled on an agreement on how to make their daughter’s dream happen, Ethan retired to his office. He taught himself the basics of sewing.     

Even with all the struggles of raising three children in a suburb of Boston while balancing very demanding medical careers, Ethan and Becca wouldn’t have it any other way. The life they carved out of all their complications was worth it.  

All of this was inevitable. 

And they wouldn’t take a moment for granted.    

________________________________________

Um... this became bigger than intended... If you made it this far, thank you ♥

Masterlist

Perma:

@rookiemarsswiftie @lucy-268 @binny1985 @thegreentwin @queencarb @danijimenezv @starrystarrytrouble e @terrm9 @interobanginyourmom @adrex04 @maurine07 @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel @kaavyaethanramsey @mvalentine @rookie-ramsey @drariellevalentine @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents @therookie @aylaramseycarrera @angela8754 @fireycookie @stateofgracious

Ethan:

@udishaman @honeyandsunfl0wers @hutchereverlark23 @ohchoices @dulceghernandez @blossomanarchy @claredal424 @caseyvalentineramsey @rookieoh @openheartthot @senseofduties @lilyvalentine @tsrookie @kalogh @aworldoffandoms @takemyopenheart t @casey-v @ramseyandrys @peaceinmidstofchaos

[lassieposting]

Hi i havent read the books post-resurrection so im kinda lost on why you dont like phase 2 val? She was easily one of my favourite characters ever, she was flawed (and the books took time to acknowledge them) and relatable and still really admirable (intelligent, brave, loyal) and i really liked her and really appreciated that she wasn’t perfect unlike every other young adult heroines. What went wrong😢😢😢😢

Okay I'm gonna put this under a cut because I very strongly dislike phase 2 val and I know it bugs people who don't feel the same, so. Dead dove dont eat

Okay so first off, phase 1 val and phase 2 val are completely different people. literally. phase 1 val was based on an ex-friend of lardo's who used to apparently be involved pretty heavily in like, editing the books and "she'd react like this" or "val wouldn't say that", and that val she was one of my favourite fictional characters from when book one came out to the release of resurrection. phase 2 val is based on his whiny little girlfriend who likes to start shit with 14yos on twitter, and you can absolutely tell she is no longer the same person. so the long story short of "what went wrong" is "the original irl val's friendship with dirty laundry ended for whatever reason and he decided to retcon her entire personality to suit his gf"

Phase 2 Val, in my opinion:

Weak, like won't even fight back when she gets jumped bc boo fucking hoo she's so awful, bitch get up already, nobody signed up for ur pity party

Whiny. So fucking whiny. All the time. And she's the POV character so it's inescapable.

"Pacifist" but in a really pathetic virtue-signalling kind of way like "Oh, I've done such terrible thiiiiiiiiiiings I'm so awfulllllllllllll look how good I'm trying to be nowwwwwwww pay attention to meeeeeeee" kind of way, it was both boring and a massive eye roll. It's a book about magic and asskicking. Kick some ass. We're here for escapism not "realistic" whining. Yes, irl she'd be a mess. As an author it's his job to strike a balance between the "realism" he wants to portray and making his readers so depressed and done with his heroine that they quit reading, and in my case, he absolutely failed.

Everything must be about her at all times. Skug is having personal problems? Fuck him, they're about her now. Everything is about how it affects her, and her feelings, and be damned to the person actually having the problem. Fucks phase 2 val cain gives about anyone except herself: 0

Bitter and jaded. Which yeah I get why but it's like jesus christ what do we get out of reading about this? It's not even good bitter and jaded where it makes you empathise or admire her strength in adversity or whatever, she's just become a really nasty person with no redeeming features that I could see. Which? Landy outright said she's based on his gf? If your boyfriend is gonna drag ur entire personality through the dirt like that and write "you" as just a collection of incredibly negative traits...yikes.

Really ungrateful about the awesome life she leads? Which bugs me bc I fucking hate mundanity and knowing that all there is to life is fucking working and bad mental health. I would kill to live her life. All she does is moan about it. Like? Quit then. Fuck off back to being a mortal if it's that bad and live the shitty life you wanted to get away from in the first place. That way we'd get no more books, and quite honestly, thank fuck for that. But anyway, she needs to pick one, stick with it, and stop complaining about whatever she chose.

The girl wallows in self pity. And if someone else isn't indulging her enough, she'll wallow harder and louder and more obviously. Yawn.

Her POV is now so depressing to read that Resurrection literally tanked my mental health. I'm not kidding. I fell off the self-harm wagon, the suicidal thoughts came back, reading her dissociating would make me dissociate, I just did not cope whatsoever. Being in her head was just like being in my head during my worst points, and I hate myself, so naturally, I hate her too. Like I get why some people like phase two val. I get that her depression is "realistic" and that trauma does just make some people completely dislikeable and self-pitying, and if people want to read about that, then...sure. you do you, my dudes. But I live that reality, I am that person whose trauma made her a dysfunctional, isolated bitch, and I hate, passionately, having it infest the media I consume to escape.

Essentially if I wanted to engage with a bitter, spiteful, depressed piece of shit in her 20s who pushes everyone away and sucks at everything, I'd live my gd life. Yall see me tryna engage with my real life? Hell nah I'm on tumblr dot com burying my head up the ass of whatever fandom will force my brain to produce some s e r o t o n i n and that is what I need this series for

Also? The dynamic she had with skug in phase one? "Until the end"? "You save me, I save you, that's how we work"? Forget that, it doesn't exist anymore. I stopped reading after Midnight, because she was written like he was a coworker she could barely tolerate. They went from "Lardo confirms on twitter that they talked on the phone a bunch while she was in america and he'd always ask her to come home" to "she comes home and proceeds to blank him for five months while she sits in her fuckin multimillionaire's mansion feeling sorry for herself". Their friendship completely disintegrated, they were totally separated for most of the book, she's written as not giving a single shit about him. She treated him like dirt, and their dynamic basically felt like it was becoming "Local Man With History Of Gravitating Towards Abusive Women Makes Same Terrible Choices For Fifth Time" and? that was the point of no return to me. he supports her unconditionally, no matter what he's going through at the time, he's walked on broken bones to try and get to her when she was in danger, she can tell him anything and he'd never use it against her. I did not, for one second in phase two, believe she felt the same about him. tbh it felt like she could - and wanted to - drop him at the first opportunity and not even feel bad about it, and that's not the dynamic that made me so emotionally attached to phase one. i signed up for "until the end", not whatever bullshit phase two has going on.

Apparently she's "less depressed" now and their relationship is "better" in the books published since midnight, which! might well be true. but I haven't read them and don't intend to, and she's gone from one of my favourite fictional characters ever (which! was impressive! because i almost never bond with the female lead - i normally get attached exclusively to the character i crush on, which would be skug here. val was the first female lead i actually cared about since xena! so im deeply salty about losing her!) to a character i? honestly prefer to pretend doesn't exist. i live in war era dead men/generals crackship land because that way, i don't have to acknowledge her or the fuckin character assassination phase 2 pulled on her.

so yeah, no hate towards phase one val at all. phase one val was awesome and flawed and gave me something to aspire to despite my shitty mental health and trauma, and if she'd kept her original personality she might still have been those things. but the original "real life" val is no longer involved (and doesn't talk to landy at all anymore, apparently), and the val based on landy's insufferable gf? i cannot get behind her at all ever, four for skug and none for phase two val cain bye

(tldr; you're not missing anything by quitting after spx)

[keytomythoughts]

Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1

Chapter Index 

»»—————————————-　

Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 

I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.

(Binnie)

R u still on the train?

                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins

(Eunuwu) 

Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?

                                                                                                                      Funny

                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it

(Binnie)

:/

What about Jaehyun?

                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh

                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit

(Eunuwu)

Damn, rough

                                                                                                                        Mhm

(Binnie)

Try talking to them, u never know

They might change their minds?

                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end

                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream

(Eunuwu)

Doesn't sound so bad

(Binnie)

¬_¬

(Eunuwu)

Except for the crying part ofc

But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad

I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice

(Binnie)

U’ve been to her house??

                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too

(Binnie)

Righttt forgot lol

                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere

                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal

(Binnie)

That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna

But hey we should all hang soon!

(Eunuwu)

I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?

                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(

                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then

(Binnie)

Aww I miss u toooo 

(Eunuwu)

*puke*

                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous

(Eunuwu)

Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?

Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already

And personality 0:)

                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single

(Binnie)

LOLL

She got u there bro

(Eunuwu)

Shut up

Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf

Idiot

(Binnie)

At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 

                                                                                             See? My point exactly

                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy

                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker

(Binnie)

He made a couple of em cry I heard

                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?

                                                                                                                         YAH

                                                                                                               U MORON

(Eunuwu)

Bin wtf

(Binnie)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??

                                                                                              Those poor girls omg

                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u

(Binnie)

Me 2

(Eunuwu)

Wtf?? Y???

(Binnie)

No reason lol, just feel like it

                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie

(Binnie)

:D <3

(Eunuwu)

GROSS

                                                                                                        Can it u demon

                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM

I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 

Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 

That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 

Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 

Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  

My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.

“What?” 

He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”

I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”

“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”

“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”

He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 

There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”

“Yeah, give or take.” 

I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 

“What, you miss me?”

He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 

“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”

“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”

“Shut up.”

I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.

“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”

I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”

“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”

“Oppa!”

Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   

He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.

As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.

God knows where I’d be sent to now.

***

“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 

That’s my stop.

Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 

Four long years away from Seoul...

Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.

It sure as hell feels good to be back home.

I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.

“Hyuna, over here!”

I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”

He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 

Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.

He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”

I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”

He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.

“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 

I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”

At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 

“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 

“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 

What can I say? It’s a talent. 

He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.

“Welcome home, sis.”

I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 

“Good to be back,” I whisper. 

We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 

He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”

“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.

“Can I—”

“No.”

“Please—”

“Nope.”

I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 

“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”

Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.

With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.

My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  

[jonathanrichman]

i actually appreciate you saying that. im fat and i hate when ppl do that too… but im 24 and constantly complain about feeling old. ive been having severe anxiety about it actually and idk why. mostly because i feel behind and stunted because im such a late bloomer. anyway, hearing you say im not old helps and i will def try to stop complaining. i think my issue is ppl in fandoms are so young and make u feel awful for being older than like 22 and i have this horrible dread about being expected to stop liking the things i do and going to shows just bc im older now. IDK. i appreciate it. ignore the other anons. <3

ah thank you i really appreciate this!!!

like, idk if you follow my green day blog, but i really look up to billie joe armstrong. and by the time he was 25 he had already been in bands for almost 10 years, and that makes me feel like it’s too late. but just because i feel that way, doesn’t mean i’m going to perpetuate that??? it’s not too late! even if i feel bad, my feelings aren’t facts!! it doesn’t help me or people my age or people older than me if i complain about how old i am and how it’s too late lol like i don’t exist in a vacuum

i agree with you with the fandoms thing though. that’s why i don’t go on twitter, it’s just a sea of 13 year olds djwkxksnxjsks. and @ those previous anons…..younger people complaining about how old 22 year olds are is literally because they lack empathy about how their actions make other people feel……it makes other people feel bad and idk perhaps we should try not to make other people feel bad………

and yeah!! you don’t suddenly lose your interests when you get older and i think it comes from a place of thinking “fandom” isn’t a valid way to spend your time? and people projecting their hope that they’ll outgrow fandom when they get older? but it’s so much better to just be at peace with the fact that you can like things when you get older. i have a group of green day friends who are in their 40’s and 50’s and i don’t think they’re cringe or anything for…..daring to enjoy a band lol

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep11 Thoughts *Spoilers*

thoughts under cut to keep tag from being cluttered :)

- Oh yeah I forgot that Chad was blackmailing Veronica about the dirty dealings in her company even though it’s not her at all (unless it’s just been so long and I’ve forgotten but she’s my baby and I feel like I would’ve remembered but-

- Hiram and this dumb prison is one of the worst things for this show it’s a constant plot of people escaping and it’s so annoying like sure Hiram owns it and he was in the jail but no one has, like, taken him back to jail…??? Hiram is a fucking disease smh

- “back to remote learning” why didn’t you just stay that way though… like even right now in covid schools are opening back up and kids are complaining because it’s still not safe so like… just… go back to it??? I’m so not built for this world fasdhfkahf

- Veronica and Smithers 🥺🥺💞💞

- the way Veronica hugs Archie is so cute bc she’s so tiny but like she always gives her all and Archie is just 😐 never giving anything ahjfsdfsh it’s quite sad you can tell how done KJ is with Varchie lol

- “I really hate that I’m dragging you through this.” … what about constantly pulling him into your mob boss father mess that the writers refuse to allow you to escape from?

- “until you and Chad are officially done, I think we should keep our distance.” Varchie bones!!! you just KNOW that Archie has been looking forward to this because that man is whole heartedly in love with Betty and has been since forever and that while Chad prolongs the divorce papers, Archie will not be waiting for Veronica considering he doesn’t want her. Varchie = bones we love to see it!

- now who tf would join Penelope Blossom’s ministry… no one, realistically.

- can Cheryl stop being given the craziest and usually most boring plots ever please...

- Not someone holding a gun to Tabitha literally don’t hurt Riverdale’s best girl weirdo

- these bitches really haven’t aged huh…. poor Veronica though being robbed but like they stole some watches or something and the opal like that’s all you take..?? okay-

- Fangs 💞💞💞💞💞 also rip to him having to work with his ex tho

- STOP HAVING ARCHIE GO TO HIRAM WE’RE TIRED

- You know considering the whole reason why Hiram is still here as the villain and ruining Veronica’s life/growth to keep her in his plots al because Mark is a big soap opera celeb and apparently brings in money, you’d assume they would give him GOOD shit instead of everything he’s gotten. If they hadn’t of hired Mark can you imagine how much better off the show would be if they didn’t have to keep him around bc of his status????? God why-

- Reggie’s always there for Veronica muah…. oh fuck me I guess fjasjkdf

- “I work for one Lodge and it’s not you.” lmao okay??? you acting like that’s a flex, and that you’re working for the better Lodge who literally left you to die after the Serpents thought you shot Fangs so-

- MARTY BEING WHY REGGIE IS WORKING FOR HIRAM…….. YOUR DAD IS ABUSIVE LET HIM HANDLE HIS OWN DEBT??? God both Veronica and Reggie are always fucked over when it comes to their parents huh

- don’t you just love when they make characters act ooc for a plot ahhhhhh it’s totally fun to watch and totally not frustratingly annoying

- “FOR OLD TIMES SAKE.” 💞💞💞 we love Veggie even though they made Veronica act ooc and hurt him back then and they weren’t given an actual chance.

- “don’t be such a Betty” now why is Betty so surprised she only ever had fun when she was with Archie, when she’s with Jughead all she did was do what she wanted and order him around so likeefjhakdfh

- “he shouldn’t really be my problem anymore.” BUGHEAD BONES YASSSSS

- I know it was just a sound they used but like that squish sound when Darla kicked Tom’s face… did she like smash his face in damn what is this The Walking Dead?

- see the problem with them randomly bringing characters/parents in when they need them is that they’re never around so like no one really cares… like they could have utilized the parents so much (and Skeet and Marisol never would have left) and it would have been so much better than random appearances that make them look incompetent and awful parents because they’re never there during all the other times their kids need them. but we have to see the two toxic parents that won’t go away constantly??? literally what the fuck

- Betty calling Jughead’s writing cringey wbk she’s never liked his writing she was just stroking his ego bc she was his gf and had to be supportive lmaoo

- why are these 60+ year old men beating up Jughead like for why???

- so they just forgot that Tom was checking in on the convict huh gotta love dumbing down characters for plot!

- Fangs with his switchblade muah

- jealous Tabitha muahhh over a password

- “wait THE BETTY?"

- Cheryl looks so good

- Find meaning in his death… girl didn’t you not care that your husband killed your son over the illegal maple stuff I forgot the plot but it was something illegal and dumb

- “drain the vein” …...

- Reggie helping muah

- Why is Archie acting like an ass? like sure he doesn’t know that Chad is abusive and toxic but c’mon fucker you cheated on her and never apologized and you don’t even wanna be with her in the first place so why are you acting like you’re personally hurt sit down

- God Archie really hates Veronica huh… I don’t even blame him considering the shit she’s brought him into time and time again.

- Jughead was kicked like maybe five times yet he was fine falling out of a two story window and the serpent imitation but now he needs antibiotics..? plot convenience!

- literally don’t remember anything about Doc tbh or him talking to Donna and Bret like—

- ever since Negan people are obsessed with bats with barbed wire.

- also! yes please kill Hiram <3 I know they end up saving him bc of the opal but c'mon

- they searched basically nothing for five seconds wow such great detective work you guys!

- we know you just want his manuscript Jessica

- Cheryl with her rainbow skirt how cute!

- “daddykins” girl you’re like 25

- Veronica acting like she cares about Hiram fjsadhkfhas these guys thinking that they’d kill Hiram even though they need him lol

- bad bitch Ronnie we love her even though she’s gonna have to save her father to save others and get her opal </3

- not Veronica calling Archie first and not Kevin considering Kevin’s dad is there…. this is the pandering va fan service bs we have bc it makes no sense and it’s so forced

- Fangs knowing Archie rides with tools in his truck mmhm that’s a little sus idk how but archiefangs agenda coming through!

- no one would actually believe that Jessica ashkjdfsj and they take this bait…??? you gotta be joking lmao

- Jug got to help doc this time 🥺😭

- …. tell me why when he said boyfriend I immediately thought of Reggie I hate myself for wishing fahsdjkfsafj

- okay as cheesy and corny and awful the fight scene is since they posted a clip of it, them working together is so refreshing and nice we love leader!Veronica bc she’s so good at it. but the show only cares for Betty which is funny since she’s an awful detective fbahsdjfj

- my god enough with Jason’s body!!!!!!!!! you burned his body please let him stay dead let his body rest

- okay but the back and forth from Betty and Jessica is so good like I wish we could get that kind of rivalry drama type stuff all the time. too bad they refuse to let Veronica act like a normal person and get angry at being cheated on and such :/ when will Veronica slap the fuck out of Betty

- he’s not a blameless victim but Betty take responsibility for how awful a person you are PLEASE

- THE VOICEMAILLLLLLL Jughead only speaks the truth! it’s weird that he only realized what we all knew about Betty after but whatever, finally he gets upset like damn. also jeronica crumb he’s the only one to ever include Veronica smh ALSO Cole acted the fuck outta this voice mail muah

- the way Betty just sits there uncaring… she really is a freak huh god when will someone punch her in the face and take her ego down a million notches she’s so annoying

- “that’s darkness.” …?? what?

- the way bh’s relationship parallels jughead’s with Jessica though. the unhealthy habits, the bad energy, etc. except Jessica left it and Betty didn’t and it turned Betty into whatever the fuck this is. I miss s1 Betty :/

- so when will they sue Jessica for drugging them? mmhm probably never

- poor Tabitha being the only one who cares about jughead tho

- oh no I forgot there was a random musical number…

- you’re gonna have Betty and Tabitha act like THAT and not put them together so rude

- when will Cheryl be free from her mom. is was like turned on by abuse or something sigh why do the toxic (and most boring!) parents get plots and screen time and everyone else doesn’t...

- Veronica would be able to do Moree than pepper spray but whatever only Betty is allowed be “badass"

- fangs being fangs ugh so sexy my babyyyyy

- Trevor Stines is so attractive it’s a shame they only bring him back for five seconds to traumatize Cheryl over and over again though </3

- wow varchie in a pop’s booth what season is this again??

- god it’s so upsetting how amazing varchie would have been as just friends…

- the way he smiled at Veronica was so contradicting to the blank, “please don’t” expression when she was telling him she was gonna get divorced as fast as possible. why can’t he just admit he doesn’t want to be with her!!!!!! my god they’ve put off barchie long enough just let them be together so their characters can finally act in character and stop being so awful and annoying

- “this cause” what cause you fucking weirdo

- not Hiram threatening the mayor he could literally be your downfall if we had good writers fjasdkjfasf

- jughead how would you have killed him with a small wooden basket

- I like doc so much but I know we’ll never see him again until we randomly need him seasons from noow

- Betty wasn’t hit by the drugs until after the message though… how would she not remember? it didn’t seem to be doing anything to Betty until the bunker

- hopefully since they’re friends now Tabitha can make Betty act like a decent human being <3

- the way Tabitha looked at Betty please stop doing this to me...

- maybe we can finish that dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!! jabitha rising bughead dying we love to see it!

wow that episode felt like it was two hours long but thankfully I finally finished it… don’t have many actual thoughts but anyways hope you enjoyed my live blog of my thoughts!

[hotchley]

PLEASEEEEEEEEEE tell me theres a scene in bby Hotchner where they’re in public and Emily has to carry him like he’s her kid (bc honestly that’s the most realistic thing, they look super similar

(This was gonna be a whole fic, but my head is empty and I want to answer this because the visual is so cute, so here goes nothing. Also, if anyone would like to draw this, please feel free and I will love you forever. This also got slightly out of hand so please ignore how poorly placed the keep reading is but yeah)

And I low-key hate it because I feel like I didn’t really fulfil the prompt, but we’re going with it! (Again)

tw: very light implications of past child abuse 

It’s one of those days where he was restless. Rossi didn’t blame him. They were forced to spend the entire weekend indoors because of the horrific weather- he was not about to risk another cold- so he had a lot of pent up energy.

It eventually resulted in everyone giving each other identical looks because they love Aaron, they really do, but it’s very distracting and difficult to watch him running around everywhere and just being in awe of everything.

Emily stood up and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, he saw it was her and grinned. He’d never admit to everyone because he loves all of them, but Miss Emmy is one of his favourites. They look very similar, so he can pretend she’s his real mom.

Although, he’s learnt now, that family is more than blood and parents are the ones that care for you and love you unconditionally, so really, his new family are all his parents.

“Come on child, l’m taking you to the park,” she said.

Aaron’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Yes. Because you have way too much energy and you need to burn it off. Also, you look very nice today and I would like to be able to tell everyone that you’re a mini-me.”

“I dressed myself today. Mr Dave isn’t very fond of me doing that, because apparently I choose strange things, but I told him that it was because I wanted to look like all of my favourite people,” he said with a smile.

“Well I think you look very fashionable. Are the mismatched socks inspired by Dr Spencer?”

“Yeah! And the slippers are inspired by you because you always wear the shoes that you want wherever you go,” he explained.

She smiled. “Well come on mini-me. To the park we go!”

Aaron ran ahead of her. She smiled. Maybe she would never have kids of her own, but this, this was good. And nice. And it felt like she was finally getting a chance at loving a child without fearing the worst.

Three hours passed. It was three hours of Aaron burning off forty-eight hours of pent-up energy. He went on the swings- he liked it when Emily pushed him because she was always less cautious than the rest of them- down the slide. He even ran around with some of his other friends.

Emily was just glad it was the ones whose parents believed he was her son from a previous relationship. It should have occurred to her before that they needed to agree on one story, but they hadn’t, and now some parents believed it was her son whilst some believed he was Derek and Spencer’s adopted son. 

The whole thing was a mess.

“Hey child! We need to head back now. It’s going to start getting dark soon,” she called out.

Aaron came running over. He seemed much more relaxed now.

“Did you say goodbye to your friends?”

He nodded. “Can we come again tomorrow? With Miss JJ and Dr Spencer and Miss Penny and Mr Derek and Mr Dave? Because I like going with you, but I also want us all to go because it’ll be so much fun!”

Emily blanched. That was not a situation anyone was prepared for. “I- we’ll see kid. Okay?”

Aaron pouted, but nodded. “Okay.”

Something seemed off, but she couldn’t quite place what it was. She shrugged, and carried on. Children were really strange. It was when they started getting closer to the building that she picked up on what was going on.

She turned around and Aaron was dragging his feet along the road, clearly tired from his time at the park. He was fighting to keep his eyes open and every step he took seemed to lead him one step closer to sleep.

Emily ran back over and crouched down. “Child, are you tired?”

He shook his head, but the yawn he let out completely undermined him. Emily raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. 

“I’m not tired. I have so much energy that I could... listen to Dr Spencer and then tell you everything he said!”

“I won’t make you go for a nap,” she said.

“Okay, maybe I am tired.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said, and she lifted him into his arms. For his age, he was both small and incredibly light, so lifting him wasn’t even a problem for Spencer, who they all joked was the weakest.

Well, the others joked. She didn’t believe there was any evidence so suggest the opposite.

He let out a yelp when his feet left the ground, but on instinct, he wrapped his legs around her waist and his arms around the neck. After a moment, he buried his head in her neck so he was essentially clinging to her like a koala.

Emily liked carrying him, and Aaron enjoyed the feeling of being picked up. Not having to walk was nice, because it meant he could close his eyes and just not worry about anything. Also, Emily’s hair smelt like peach and oranges, which was always a pleasant thing.

He held onto her, and by the time they reached the elevator, his grip had loosened significantly because he trusted her to not drop him, and that was something that Emily took very seriously.

Hotch had fallen asleep at some point, and she wasn’t about to wake him up. As they had been walking back, several people had given her soft smiles when they saw the child in her arms. One elderly lady had said that her son was the most adorable little thing she’d ever seen. Another parent had shushed her children because the little boy was sleeping.

“Hi Em,” Anderson said when she got in.

She shook her head slightly and tilted her head towards Aaron. Not that Anderson knew it was Aaron. At least, as far as she knew he didn’t. He had given them all strange looks recently. Ones that suggested he knew something. 

“Oh is he sleeping? So sorry. You know, he looks exactly like you, it’s almost eerie.”

“Grant, he has half my DNA. Of course he looks like me.”

“I mean, he does look more like Agent Hotchner, but sure. Whatever you say,” he said with a smirk.

Emiky’s jaw dropped.

“Like I told Agent Jareau, I’m more than just a pretty face. And this is where I get off. Bye Agent Prentiss. Bye Aaron!”

When Emily looked down, Aaron was staring at her with wide eyes. All the movement had made him wake up, and he did not look impressed.

“You woke me up,” he said.

“I’m sorry child. Would you like me to put you down?”

Aaron shook his head and tightened his grip. “Like it when you pick me up. Everyone thinks I’m your kid then.”

“If you like it, then I won’t let go,” Emily said. She meant it literally, but also metaphorically. She would never let Aaron go until he was ready. There would be no more darkness in his life.

“Good,” he said.

She entered the bullpen and a few of the other agents gave her fond smiles as they realised the child in her arms had his eyes closed. He was a cute kid. The resemblance to Aaron Hotchner was uncanny, but they were almost sure that was a coincidence.

When Dave saw Emily and Aaron return, he smiled slightly. When he realised that Aaron’s head was buried in Emily’s hair, he grinned. His job was going to be a lot easier.

“Hey little one. Did you have a good time at the park?”

Aaron nodded. “Miss Emmy carried me back as well. And she didn’t drop me at all!”

Dave’s smile wavered slightly. “That’s lovely to hear Aaron. Is Miss Emmy allowed to put you down now? I’m sure she wants to keep holding you, but I’ve missed my little one.”

Aaron nodded, and Emily passed him over. Dave kissed his forehead and Aaron giggled slightly.

When they got home, Aaron wouldn’t stop talking about how much fun he had at the park with his friends, and also about how nice everyone was. Dave smiled and responded at all the right moments. Never once did he try and cut the boy off, because he finally seemed comfortable enough to speak.

Aaron wouldn’t complain when Dave sent him to bed. And after they had made sure there were no monsters in the bed, closet, or outside in the hallway, he climbed into the bed. When Dave sat beside him to put the night light on, he didn’t flinch away.

“Mr Dave?” he said just as he was about to leave.

Dave turned around.

“I love you. And Miss Emmy. A lot.”

“We love you too kid.”

Aaron smiled, and fell asleep, dreaming of parks and being held. And feeling safe.

[darkpoisonouslove]

Please dont hate me.

Griffin and Valtor and all the questions. :)

Okay, but just because you asked nicely... Kidding, of course. XD I don’t hate you. I just hope any of this will make sense.

1. Who is the most affectionate?

Valtor, actually. It takes Griffin a while until she can fall into being cuddly with someone but she is surprised by how open Valtor is to physical proximity. He’s also the one that is more about compliments.

2. Big spoon/Little spoon?

Valtor is normally the big spoon which Griffin was a bit irate about at first because she is a lighter sleeper and, therefore, more likely to be getting up or moving around. She thought it would make more sense for her to be the big spoon but Valtor wanted to be the one holding her and she relented. She actually liked it a lot more than she expected to even if it took some getting used to.

3. Most common argument?

Bathroom dominion. They. Just. Cannot. Reason. About. It. They both take forever when getting ready and it is hell. Especially if they are going undercover to an official event. You do not want to be around.

4. Favorite non-sexual activity?

Playing chess. They can’t help it. They are competitive and love messing with each other which is done through an array of side bets and whatnot. But they have a good time. Mostly.

5. Who is most likely to carry the other?

Valtor. He is dramatic romantic like that. Griffin pretends to be annoyed by it... badly. She totally loves it. Even if it does make her think about things that might be impossible.

6. What is their favorite feature of their partner’s?

I feel like I might have answered that somewhere so excuse any mismatches in case I don’t remember my own headcanons.

(I am pretty sure I said Griffin’s favorite thing about Valtor is his voice but that is not a feature so I guess the inconsistencies have been prevented on merit of that alone.) Griffin might be a little fixated on Valtor’s hands bc of the fact that he only really takes his gloves off with her (and his skin is super soft). Also, the contrast between the destruction he can wreak with his magic and the tenderness of his touch on her skin.

I also think that I said Valtor’s favorite part of Griffin is her neck. Does that count as a feature? Well, it does now. He loves how delicate and sensitive her neck is. Griffin can’t pull him away from there when he starts kissing it, and biting it because it’s Valtor. He loves to leave marks there and listen to the sounds she makes while he’s doing it.

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Valtor experiences selflessness for the first time. Or what is a weird mix of selflessness and selfishness because he does not necessarily expect anything in return when he does what is best for her but he still hopes that that will help their relationship develop. He’s not at all sure how to react to it. All he knows is that making her smile makes his day even if he has to endure some more bitching from his mothers because of what he did for Griffin.

What actually changes for Griffin is that she finally allows herself sexual fantasies about Valtor. She had noticed his attractiveness before but she wasn’t interested in getting involved with him. However, after they started getting to know each other and some emotional barriers got down, she found herself growing fonder of him. By the time she realized she liked him, pretty much everything else had changed.

8. Nicknames? & if so, how did they originate?

Valtor does call her bookworm which is pretty obvious and generic. But other than that they don’t really have nicknames for each other.

9. Who worries the most?

They both worry. A lot. Griffin worries more openly, though, while Valtor will pretend he’s not worried but will keep looking for excuses to be close to her and touching her.

10. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Griffin. Valtor tries his best but he has so many things on his head. He is in awe of how Griffin always manages to remember everything. She claims it is because she isn’t forced to do it but chooses to do so on her own.

11. Who tops?

Usually Valtor but that’s because Griffin lets him. He is happy to bottom if she feels like it even if the first time he might have needed a little convincing. He was grateful for having the insight to leave her in charge.

12. Who initiates kisses?

Valtor does that a lot. He will use any and all opportunities. Hell, even if the time is not right, he would still do it. He loves to kiss her and Griffin has learned that. She has no problem with it as long as it isn’t a really inopportune time.

13. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

Valtor. He likes holding her closer, even if it is just her hand in his. Besides, he is busy a big portion of the time and can’t do it so he needs to compensate for that whenever he has the opportunity.

14. Who kisses the hardest?

Griffin has surprised him. And here he thought he was passionate. Griffin has it in her to surpass him. Not always but she does kiss very hard when she gets really into it.

15. Who wakes up first?

Griffin. She is the early bird. She is generally more excited about getting started on her day. Valtor isn’t too happy about having to bust himself because of his mothers yet again.

16. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Valtor. He could sleep all day if he had the free time for that kind of thing. It is honestly kind of a dream. Especially if Griffin is also there. He can feel her presence even when he’s asleep and it always makes everything better,

17. Who says I love you first?

Griffin does. Not because Valtor is scared to tell her how he feels (even though he is that too). He just doesn’t want to pressure her into saying it back if she isn’t ready (or doesn’t feel the same). He is kinda torn on whether he is actually being selfless or too scared to even admit that he is selfishly waiting for her to make the first move but considering the fact that she seems more secure in their relationship, he decides to trust his own motives.

18. Who leaves little notes in the other’s lunch? (Bonus: what does it usually say?)

That would be Griffin. It is probably something only Valtor will get that is sure to cheer him up despite it most likely being sassy/sarcastic.

19. Who tells their family/friends about their relationship first?

Griffin by virtue of Valtor not wanting to say anything and not being given the chance either. His mothers just know. Even though he would’ve liked to have kept it a secret. That’s not an option in the world in which he lives. Griffin does tell her mom even if she has cut contact with her friends.

20. What do their family/friends think of their relationship?

Valtor’s mothers aren’t enchanted by the idea but they allow it on condition it won’t get in the way of Griffin and Valtor’s work. They pretty much use it as a way to pressure Valtor into doing even more than before. Emalyn isn’t thrilled either. Though, to be fair, she wasn’t thrilled by Griffin joining the Coven at all. She can see that Griffin is happy which is what makes her keep her thoughts to herself but she is worried about everything that can go wrong, including what will happen if Griffin and Valtor break up. She is worried Griffin may not be safe in that case.

21. Who is more likely to start dancing with the other?

Griffin would. Valtor will try to protest before he realizes that they are just swaying around and he isn’t expected to perform some elaborate ceremonial dances. He relaxes and lets her drag him fully into it, They have a great time.

22. Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Griffin, obviously. She does make use of Valtor’s Dragon Fire but that is the way in which he can be more useful in the kitchen aside from tasting whatever she’s cooked. He isn’t all that great despite being sensitive to smells and tastes.

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Valtor all the way. He does not know when to stop. Luckily, Griffin finds him adorable which might be why he hasn’t collided with the finish line yet.

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Both of them do it, actually. They both know when the situation needs their full focus but they are also not above messing with each other. And of course, that requires revenge which results in more revenge and they just end up stuck in a loop. Not that they are complaining about it. Not really.

25. Who needs more assurance?

Valtor. Griffin can see how much she means to him once they actually get together and open up to each other. Valtor has a lot of insecurities, though, despite his confident facade and can always use some more reassurance even if everything is okay at the moment.

26. What would be their theme song?

As a couple? Young God by Halsey. It just fits them so well! Though, that is more a commentary on their full story during the war. If it is something they would pick in-verse, then idk. Maybe Powerful by Major Lazer and Ellie Goulding.

27. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

They would both do it together. Griffin would have to teach Valtor all the lullabies he knows but he’d make sure to learn them.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

 Valtor forces himself to keep going about his day. He doesn’t have the time to sit around and wait for her return anyway. And work keeps him occupied but the moment he has an ounce of free time, his thoughts immediately drift to her.

Griffin tries working as well or reading a book but sometimes that’s not enough and she finds herself wondering how he’s doing and even worrying. She might go on a mission herself to keep herself occupied - pick out some herbs or hunt down a recipe she’s never come across before.

29. One headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

All of them. Seriously, everything I come up with about them is heartbreaking. But here goes. The only thing Valtor doesn’t know about Griffin (prior to the seventeen years he was imprisoned) is that she was pregnant when she ran away from the Coven.

30. One headcanon about this OTP that mends it

I... am not sure I have any of these. I just love angst and heartbreak. Idk how well this fits but... Valtor did eventually come to appreciate the fact that Griffin was the only one who ever loved him. Even if she did leave. He can see how different their relations were from anything else he’s ever had with anyone and it did make him realize that she did truly love him despite everything.

[jay-and-dean]

Frozen Sleep

(Dean x Reader)

This is a request by @acklesterritory​ :

So I'm just wanna take my chance and request a Dean x Reader imagination where the reader got hypothermia and Dean had to rescue her and take care of her all by himself bc there is a scary storm out there and Cas is somewhere else doing angel stuff. And all he got as help is Sammy who's arm is already broken in the last haunt. All angst and fluff. May I ask? 😍

Words :  4.4 k

Warnings : Hurt reader obviously. A hint of Angst. Fluff. Fluffy Smut.

Words : 2.4 k

Note : I wanted to do this one  because I do have a condition that makes me have hypothermias easily and so I really hate cold.

This is written both on Reader and Dean’s Pov

Want to read more => ***MASTERLIST***

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Reader’s Pov

             One step after the other. One step after the other… One step…

Dean is so strong, look at him, his footsteps crush the snow like it was nothing, when it’s basically biting my legs with each movement.

           He’s holding my hand and it’s the only part of my body that is not horribly painful. The wind is made of needles, each snowflake that touches me feels like somebody was beating me up… And right now, thousands of them are harassing my body all at once, every second.

           He walks too fast… And his legs are so long, how am I supposed to follow ?

           Sam tells him something but I can’t hear it… the wind is deafening and the pain… It’s screaming in my ears.

           Dean turns toward me, but I can’t see him clearly because of that darkness everywhere, or is it in my eyes ? Even the threatening white of that harrowing snow is dark.

“Y/n ? Look at me… Less than two miles, I promise…”

I try to answer, to show him I’m strong, but no words come out of my mouth.

“I know you’re cold… We… We will make it okay ? You stay with me sweetheart.”

 Dean’s Pov

             Sam is right, she’s won’t make it to the cabin, not like that. Her eyes are slightly rolling and she’s having trouble to speak : Hypothermia.

“I know you’re cold… We… We will make it okay ? You stay with me sweetheart.”

Stay with me… Y/n stay with me I’m begging you.

           The storm is becoming worse, and walking against it seems almost impossible, but we have too. She has no one, no one but me. Our phones are dead, cold killed their batteries, and there is no service anyway. Sam is hurt, his arm in that stupid cast, his ribs broken… I don’t even know how he can still be walking without any complain.

“I will carry her” I tell him but he shakes his head.

“Dean… She’s having hypothermia, i-if you carry her… she will fall asleep.”

“Son of a bitch !” I yell, but the storm suffocates my anger.

           She’s shaking like she was going to convulse, her hand is so cold that I feel like tugging at a corpse arm.

           I’m so scared. I’m so angry. And I’m so cold.

           Y/n, she… She can’t die. I can’t lose her, and Sam knows that, that’s why he’s looking at me like someone had shoot my puppy. Dammit yesterday morning, yesterday morning I did it again…

“Y/n, you hold on, I need you to hold on” I get closer, wrapping my arms around her waist, like I could give her a little of my heat. I would give it all of it if I could. “Hold on sweetheart.”

 Reader’s Pov

             I wish I could feel him, when he wraps that strong arm around me, but I don’t feel anything but pain and we wear too much clothes anyway.

           I would give anything to feel him. To feel is skin stick to my fingers because of sweat, his muscles roll under my palms while he buries himself between my legs.

That’s where I love him the most : between my legs. And I never told him.

           I feel dizzy, and the snowflakes don’t melt on my skin anymore, so my lashes are covered in them. I can’t see clearly.

           What happens when we die ? I mean, I know what happens after… I have that privilege, -or maybe it’s a curse-. But just… dying. I know a man or two that actually lived that a few times… I could ask…them -I’m so tired-… if… that… feels… like… that…

“Y/n !” Dean’s voice make my heart beat suddenly too fast, and too strong. “Sammy, she really can’t walk… If we don’t make it to the cabin…”

His voice is different, I never heard it like that. He’s worried, scared maybe even, and I know him, he feels responsible, he always does.

           I want to tell him everything is going to be okay, but I never lied to Dean, and right now, I feel like I’m dying.

           I can’t. Dean has suffered so much, he can’t lose another friend, not in his arms, not again… Who will wake him up from nightmares ? Who will make him homemade pies ? Who will be here, when he doesn’t want to spend the night alone ? When he needs the comfort of caresses and kisses, when he needs to hide from the world deep inside of me ?

“I can w-walk” I say, the air ripping my lungs coming out of it.

But my heartbeats… They’re singing a song I don’t know.

 Dean’s Pov

             I can feel my jaw tremble and I have no idea if it’s cold, or that awful fear.

“I can w-walk” she mutters weakly, but after ten more steps, she falls on her knees in the deep snow before I can catch her. And seeing her body fail like this, it rips my heart in half.

“Y/n !”

I squat to take her in my arms, and let out a groan of effort when I lift both our bodies. I feel weak, and the cold is biting my legs, but I would carry her across the world if I had too.

           Bridal style, in my arms, she rests her head on my shoulder, but with a harsh shake of it, I make her move it, forbidding rest.

“Don’t fall asleep, talk to me. If you stop talking, I put you on the ground again, understood ?”

“Y-yes…” she whines.

I know she’s hurt, I know it’s so hard for her, and I want to cry just knowing how she must be struggling.

“I sh-shouldn’t have eaten all those pancakes f-for breakfast…” she tries to joke. “I wouldn’t be so heavy…”

“You’re as light as a feather sweetheart.”

Sam looks at us, that pained look on his face, he can see my thighs tetanize from cold and effort. He comes closer and wipes her pale face where snow is covering her quickly.

“People with hypothermia feel distracted, and tend to lose some memories, Y/n… Why don’t you try to focus on a memory, and tell us” he says kindly, blowing on her hands.

“Me-memory…” she whispers so low I wouldn’t have known if I wasn’t watching her blue lips. “I remember s-summer…” she starts.

“Of course you do” I fake a smile when she searches my face.

“That ghost in Tennessee… D-Dean was sick.”

“Damn rabbit food !” I grunt, remembering how bad that weird fruit had made me.

Sam wipes her face again, his good hand holding hers.

“I had to stay with you all night… Y-you w-were puking your guts…” she closes her eyes a little too long so I shake her a little, panic immediately electrocuting my spine.

But she doesn’t open them right away.

“Y/N !”

“A-and…” she continues like she hadn’t realize she passed out for a second. “Th-That was the first time I slept in his-your… Dean ?”

“I’m here” I state, almost choking on the frozen tears in my throat. “Keep talking beauty, we’re almost there.”

“What was I s-saying ?”

“That I got sick in Tennessee” I answer, frowning at Sam.

“Yeah… I slept next to you… and you t-took me in your arms.”

           I did. I took her in my arms that night. I had dreamed of doing it, and the night I finally overcome my fear of getting attached, I was sweating and smelled like vomit… I never stopped since then, I never stopped keeping her close. Struggling between the need of her and the fear of getting really involved, I kept snuggling up in her arms and pushing her away to protect her ; look where it got her.

“I wish I could perceive your smell… I-it always calms me… But I c-can’t smell anything. Or… maybe… the feathers are too heavy…”

“Y/n !” Sam calls. “Hey ! Look at me ! I have a memory I would like to share with you.”

He looks up at me, but his eyes are piercing me like he was praying to God knows who that this will catch her attention.

“Remember that night Dean got drunk and went out by himself ?”

I frown, and look down at her, begging my legs to make it to the cabin, counting in my head, if I can do three steps more, it means I can do ten, if I can do ten… Fuck why do my knees hurt so much, like ice was stuck on the cogs of it. Just like her, I try to focus on the story Sam is telling. She’s fighting so hard.

“I do…” she whines, like she was crying.

“Why did he left ?” Sam asks, slightly slapping her face now. The gesture makes me bite my cheek.

Stay with me, Y/n…

“He was in pain… I-I don’t remember why…”

I swallow hard. I was in pain because nothing felt right, because mom was gone, and Jack was gone… And I wanted her but I couldn’t do this anymore : Take her like she was mine, mark her body to feel like she belongs to me… And watch the hickeys from the other side of the room in the morning, while she doesn’t even try to hide them anymore.

Like yesterday morning, when I had to push her arm to get up and dress, when I saw the hurt in her eyes as she watched me leaves her again without a word…

“No need to remember why” Sam keeps talking to her. “What did you do that night ?”

What did she do ? What does he mean ?

“I… looked for a s-spell…”

“What spell ?” my brother insists.

“A spell t-to take his pain away…”

 Reader’s Pov

             My heart is not beating as usual and my legs are burning, like they were in flames… It’s been worse though, the pain is fading a little, or I’m just turning off… breathing is becoming hard. I feel like what Sam is asking is way beyond my strength. I just want to let go so bad.

“A spell t-to take his pain away…”

“Yes… Because seeing Dean suffer is unbearable, remember ? That’s what you told me that night. You were desperate to see him sad” Sam’s voice reaches me despite the wind.

I just wish Dean was here now… If I die and go to Heaven, I’m sure my Heaven will be him between my legs… I want that. I want that so bad. I let my head go back a little but I’m suddenly shaken…Wait… I open my eyes and see him just above me. My Dean. I could I forget…

“Now imagine the amount of pain he will feel if you let go right now” Sam says and I frown. “Imagine if you die in his arms now.”

I feel a sob escape my lips, but I’m not sure I’m actually crying, because my tears must have frozen.

“That’s unfair…” I whine, fighting against a cold that suddenly became more painful than it ever was, the frozen flames biting my muscles hard. “I can’t…”

“You can sweetheart” Dean says. “I need you with me.”

 Dean’s Pov

             Sam asked her to enumerate things, the seven deadly sins, the ways to kill a vampire, her favorite books… And she’s struggling, she’s so brave.

           My heart is in my throat. Y/n, she likes me a lot, I know that, I can feel it in the way she’s always trying to protect me from everything, in the way she always comes to my defense, in the way she comes so easily when I touch her, in the way she clings to me at night…

           But I don’t like her, I love her. Maybe she can feel it in the way I always push her away after having her close…

           What Sam said, what she said… If she loves me…

           I never knew that feeling. I mean, I keep on saying I am used to losing dear ones, but, one doesn’t get used to it. And, it was always so brutal, feeling someone slowly drift in my arms is different. Worse in a way.

And it’s Y/n…  

           My eyes widen and take a deep shaky breath.

“The cabin, sweetheart ! We made it !”

But she doesn’t answer.

“Y/n !” Sam calls but she’s not reacting to his little slaps. “Dean, we have to hurry.”

             When I enter the cabin, I stop counting my steps, and my legs let go. I fall heavily on my knees, felling the wood cut through my soaked jeans and frozen skin.

“Dean !” Sam calls, but all I can do is cling to her, and push her cheek with my nose.

“I’m okay” I groan. “Just close the door ! We need to warm her up !”

Sam closes the door and the wind gets trapped outside, I sigh in relief.

           With trembling hands I put her on the floor and starts taking her soaked jacket off, this wasn’t made for this weather. Underneath, her sweater is wet too, so I take it off. My own fingers are numb from that horrible cold so I struggle a little.

           Without asking anything, Sam takes the backpack I was carrying off of my back. Making me grunt at the impossibility of taking her clothes off more for a second.

“Y/n… Y/n… Don’t be in a coma… Please wake up… I’m begging you…” I keep calling her while I finally take her t-shirt off, leaving her pale body in just her pants and bra.

           I take my coat off and check my flannel, it’s not wet. Sam hands me the blanket that’s on the cabin’s bed, and I can see he hesitates to tell me to put her on the bed. I will. But right now, I’m not sure I can stand, and she needs to get rid of those damp freezing clothes as soon as possible.

           As I try to dress her with my flannel, I freak out : her inert body looks like she was already dead. My tears start to fall on her.

“Please baby… Help me with that okay…” but her arms fall like I’ve seen so many times on other people, less important people… “Please. You can’t leave me… I love you Y/n…”

           A sudden feeling of warmth wraps us with a comforting light. Sam managed to light up a fire in the old fireplace.

“Bring her here” he says.

I close the flannel on her body and let out a growl when I get up, just to make a few steps and fall on my knees again, cutting deeper in my skin, next to the fireplace. Her lips are blue. Sam checks her pulse while I wrap her in the cover, squeezing her tight against me.

“She’s here, she just fainted because her heart is slow” Sam says, sitting in a sore whine next to us.

He starts undoing her shoes and she whines a little when he tugs at it, taking her socks with it. That little sound is the first clue of her life, and my frozen heart starts to melt.

“Jesus Sam” I say when I see how blue her feet are.

I push her pants off, making sure her panties stays in place. Her legs are as blue as her feet, and bruises are forming on it from the blood not running correctly in her veins.

“You must be in so much pain, baby…” I whine, holding back my sobs.

           I cover her legs with the cover and my brother takes her feet between his thighs.

           Silence.

“She’s going to live Dean” Sam finally says in a serious frown, and only now, I notice how shaking he is, how soaked his hair.

“There are other blankets, Sammy, and pillows, look” I point at the couch with my chin, where another blanket and some dusty pillows lay. “Bring them all, take the blanket for you.”

He gets up and comes back with everything in his giant arms, even the couch’s big pillows.

“Your knees are bleeding, Dean” he says. “And you’re in your t-shirt.”

I nod, not really listening, she moved her face on my chest.

I push her hair, and notice some strands are frozen. So I bend my head, and put my lips on her forehead, determined to give her all my heat.

           Sam is trying to get things out of the bag, but his wounded body fights against him. He wants to give me water, but I won’t take my lips off her skin.

“We made the worst of it already, Dean, we’re only a few miles away from the Impala, the road and that diner where we had breakfast” Sam says. “We have food and water, so we will be okay.”

I’m not if she doesn’t wake up.

           All I can think of is all the times I didn’t enjoy waking up next to her. Now she might never come back from her frozen sleep, and I would give anything to come back to yesterday morning.

“I love her, Sam.”

“I know” he sighs.

“No I mean, I’m in love with her.”

“Yes, Dean, I know. You should tell her that. You will. Okay, Dean ? She’s not dead, she’s strong. You will tell her.”

 Reader’s Pov

             I open my eyes and the light seems to burn them in the corner. Something very warm is on my forehead, like a piece of ember, but soft.

           Little drops of water fall on my face… Where am I ?

           It suddenly comes back like a scream in my head, the storm, the pain, the snow digging holes to my flesh.

           Those drops are soft and warm. And my body still hurts so I’m not dead. I remember promising Sam I won’t, for Dean. My Dean. He’s cold too, where is he ?

“Dean…” I whisper.

“Y/n ?” the piece of soft ember moves and the smell of the man I love reaches my senses. “I’m here, Sweetheart.”

           I look up and he is here, just above me, tears on his face. He puts his forehead on mine and kiss the corner of my mouth.

           It’s night, it was not supposed to be night before a few hours…

“I can’t move” I say, still a little confused.

“Yes, you’re weak and I’m holding you close, look : You’re in a big blanket and there is a fireplace.”

“You’re shaking” I say. “And you’re in a t-shirt… Come in the cover with me.”

He chuckles, a few more tears reaching his chin.

“Don’t worry for me, Y/n…”

“I always do” I say, trying to move because I know how stubborn he is.

“Okay, okay…” he sighs.

           While he laboriously moves his body in a grunt, my mind slowly becomes clearer, and I turn my head to see Sam sleeping on the couch, with a too little blanket on his giant body.

“Is Sam okay ?” I frown.

“Yes… He’s just exhausted with those wounds and all, I gave him a strong pill for pain, it might have knocked him out, he tried to stay awake but he drifted at some point” Dean says, taking the blanket off of me to sit me between in legs. “I hope he’s not too cold, but I think the fire is keeping this room at a habitable temperature…”

I struggle to stay straight, so I let go my head back on his chest. He puts the both of us in the large blanket and wraps his arms around me. His body’s heat is like a bath, his thighs caging mine, his chin on my head. Paradoxically, I never felt so safe.

He will probably ignore me tomorrow, he will most likely suddenly act like we always were those simple friends, and make our passionate nights disappear with a friendly peck on my cheek ; but I don’t care…

           He grabs my weak legs to bend them against me, to make sure my feet are under the covers, and gently blows with his mouth wide open against my neck, to cover it with his hot breath.

           I can still fell the held back sobs against my back.

“Dean… Why are you crying ?” I dare, grabbing his hand in mine under the blanket.

He doesn’t answer, of course he doesn’t. I sigh and squeeze his hand in my still cold fingers, just to let him know that I am here.

“I thought you were going to die…” he whispers, his husky but smooth voice, so close to my ear. “You were frozen and… And sleeping this sleep that looks like death.”

“I’m sorry” I say, not sure what I can tell.

“Don’t be… I’m the one who brought us here.”

I can’t see him, but I feel his body contract and I know him by heart, so much I actually can picture his face in my head, with his jaw clenched, and that self-hatred darkness in his eyes.

“Don’t blame yourself…”

A dark chuckle.

“Dean… The storm wasn’t expected. And my clothes…” I sigh. “I need to buy a coat.”

“I could have given you mine” he grunts.

“Oh yeah and we both would be lying cold as ice somewhere in this forest… You saved me. Again.”

I love you.

He kisses the side of my neck and just behind my ear. His gesture is soft and pure, like it always is when he touches me, like it was meant to be…

“I’m sorry for yesterday” he says low, his lips barely grazing my ear.

Yesterday ? Is he talking about yesterday morning ? He never does, he never talks about those times we have together, almost leaving me believing they were dreams.

“I’m a coward” he sighs, and his face nuzzles in the crook of my neck.

“You’re pretty far from that, Dean.”

“When it comes to feelings, I am. You know that” he murmurs and his fingers start to play with mine. “You’re so patient and loving… Sweetheart, you know I love you, right ?”

 Dean’s Pov

             A burning feeling roams my whole body, and I know she can feel how hot I suddenly am. She was so brave, she is so brave. Fighting for her life, fighting for her friends, fighting for me when I just keep letting her down.

“Sweetheart, you know I love you, right ?”

She takes a deep breath and I hold mine, my feet bending inward, like I could cage her more.

“To be honest Dean…” she sighs and my heart falls in a loud crashing sound. “Knowing it is not easy… Sometimes I manage to convince myself of it… When you show me, when you give yourself so completely to me…”

When she says that, I close my eyes, images of her pretty thighs holding her body above me, of her teeth grazing my chest… And I feel blood rushing south.

           I kiss her jaw and she turns her head to let me reach her lips. Her skin is still not perfectly warm, but she’s not cold anymore, her body is not shaking and her lips are so cutely pink.

           When she feels my body grow on her lower back, a smile appears on her face. I know that smile.

           She suddenly starts to move, and I protest a little, wanting her to stay close to me, and away from the cold. But she just turns in my arms, pushing my legs down and straddling me, before I close the blanket around us again.

“What are you doing ?” I murmur, pecking her lips.

But she doesn’t answer with her voice. She starts opening my jeans and my eyes widen.

“Baby you just came near death” I grunt, but she grabs my cock with no more warnings or anything.

I gasp.

“Yes… I see no better reason” she smiles against my lips, before claiming my mouth with her sweet, demanding tongue.

“Y/n…” I moan when she pushes her panties to the side and rubs herself against my throbbing length. “Sam is just here…”

“So be quiet…” she whispers before sinking slowly on me, swallowing me like I was made for her. No foreplay, no games… My lady wants me.

I hide in her neck and try to muffle the moans escaping my lips, she grabs my head in both hands and her thighs start to shake ; but not that pre orgasms quake I know by heart, her legs are weak, sore…

           So I grab her waist and push her a little off me, before I bring her so close again, the tip of my cock touches her cervix.

“Dean…” she whispers, out of breath, digging her nails in my scalp, the cover falling a little without my arms to hold it. “I love you between my legs… I…” Her walls are clenching around me and she holds my head against her with both hands like it was the most precious thing. “I needed to tell you that…”

My fingers dig in her waist but I’m too tired to really thrust, so I grind. I grind hard and rub her pelvis against mine in held back groans.

           Sweat breaks through the skin of my back and the fireplace suddenly feels to be burning my jeans, making it almost painful against my legs.

           Being inside of her, even in a lost tiny crappy cabin in a haunted wood with a snow storm raging… It feels like home. Every time.

Home.

And I’m not ashamed to feel my climax built so soon, after so few efforts. Just because we were there and together, and because she needed that connection I only gave her during sex until now.

           But that will change…

“I love you…” I gasp when I cum so deep inside her, and she falls silent, wrapping her arms around my neck to hold on to me, and pulsing in a soft but long orgasm.

           She stays still, panting, and I worry I could have make her sick again, so I wrap the cover back around us.

“Y/n ?”

“Will you stay tomorrow ?” she asks putting her lips on mine in a lazy kiss and I can’t help but smile wide, her lips missing mine to meet my teeth as I do.

“I love you” I just say, knowing it contains all the answers she needs.

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[team-council]

These are my Alina/Cadence HCs bc I lowkey ship them! Note that for this I’m assuming gay couples are automatically bad matches bc they can’t reproduce. Also this contains some HCs that just pertain to these characters and not exclusively their relationship.

Also big thanks to @everyonehasthoughts for listening to me ramble about this + also coming up with some of the ones featured here

• Alina and Cadence are about the same age and they have been dating in secret since they were 16

• Because Alina always wanted to be in the nobility, they mutually agreed it would be best for her reputation that things stayed on the DL between them

• However, as they got older Cadence grew less secure about this. She wasn’t happy feeling like she had to keep her love for Alina a secret, but mostly just worried frequently that their relationship was more of a burden on Alina than anything else

• Cadence isn’t very open with her feelings, so while Alina was able to tell something was wrong with her she could get Cadence to elaborate on it- mostly because Cadence was worried Alina would feel guilty about her discontentment.

• Alina herself hates the arrangement as well. She’s a very proud person and it literally kills her that she can’t go to parties and watch people writhe with jealousy as she dances with the prettiest girl (Cadence) in the room, or that she can’t gush about all of the amazing research Cadence does to everyone she meets. But most of all, of course, she hates that she can’t give Cadence the life they both deserve together.

• Alina, however, is willing to brave this- or so she thinks. She’s certain that one day she and Cadence will be married after Alina’s been in the nobility- maybe even on the council- just long enough to change the system for the better

• Cadence, on the other hand, can’t bear it any longer. She’s already naturally a distant person and the pull of her research quickly becomes an enticing escape from her anxieties about her relationship with Alina.

• Cadence officially breaks things off with Alina when she leaves to research the ogres on a more personal level, telling her that it’s not her fault and that she just wants to focus on research at the moment.

• Alina is absolutely devastated. Despite wanting to support Cadence’s dream she does beg her to stay. Like beg beg, like fucking sobs

• Cadence is extremely distressed by this and leaves before she can change her mind, believing they’ll both be happier if they focus on their respective ambitions.

• Alina doesnt take this very well. All her life she’s dreamt of having someone to love. She’s terrified of being alone and she wants desperately for someone else to love her- because despite the vanity she fronts, she’s not capable of doing it herself

• Alden has been interested in Alina for some time, and since he’s on her match list she decides to pursue him.

• The two hit it off surprisingly well, and while Alina doesn’t love him as deeply as she loves Cadence Alden makes her feel cared for and important and serves as a welcomed respite from her heartache and fears of lonliness

• This does not last, as Alden moves on from her extremely abruptly, getting with Della

• Since Cadence is in Ravagog- somewhere Alina would have a hard time getting to her even if she had the balls to face her again (which she does not)- Alina decides in utter desperation to pursue Alden despite his rejecting her

• She can’t handle another heartbreak

• She can’t handle feeling like she isn’t good enough again

• She needs to be loved

• We all know how it goes from there for her

• While this is going down with Alina, Cadence is having a much different experience with the ogres

• At first her new, freeing lifestyle keeps her mind off Alina. She’s happier on her boat, able to research as she pleases, able to isolate herself with her work without being bothered or subjected to ridicule from elves not particularly fond of her ogre-centric studies

• But even Cadence’s solitary disposition has its limits, and in her early year’s at Ravagog things are /hard/ for her. She doesn’t have any elven friends and the ogres still don’t trust her enough to truly be companions

• She feels entirely alone sometimes and spends many nights staring at her imparter, wanting to call Alina. To tell her everything she’s been through, to excitedly ramble about her research, to complain about Dimitar’s god awful temper, to cry because no matter how hard she tries to stomach it her mind gets a bit weaker with each display of violence she’s shown- something that ogres see her as lesser for, even despite the fact that she doesn’t look down on them for those practices in the first place like other elves do

• She never does call her though

• Her time in Ravagog amplifies some of her best traits- her curiosity, her compassion, her patience- but also some of her worst- her reclusive tendencies and her emotional reservation specifically.

• It’s decades before Lady Cadence is called back to teach at Foxfire

• Alina begs the council to pick another mentor for Sophie, but can’t press it too hard without looking suspicious

• They spend a long time avoiding one another, adverting their eyes in the staff rooms and halls, sitting on opposite ends of the table at meetings

• But before they know it they start gravitating towards one another again

• At first it’s little things like soft, stolen glances or pacing at one another’s sides on the way to a conference

• Then they start talking again

• Cadence arranged for them to have tea during their free time. They chat and catch up and pretend like nothing happened

• Then Alina invites Cadence to dinner at her house, where she ends up breaking down. Cadence cuddles her as she does her best to explain what happened with Alden, how small and disposible she felt when he left her, how she felt like just being with him was a betrayal of Cadence

• Cadence assured her that it’s alright, she tells Alina she’s loved and she’s important, she promises her that things will get better and fights tears of her own

• There’s so much more cadence wants to say, baggage of her own that she’s about to collapse under the weight of

• But, again, she’s had to overcompensate for her weaknesses living with ogres. She’s even worse about her emotions now than she was before and crams them all into a box and shoved them away

• Alina can tell this, but unlike before she’s determined not to give up. She’s going to make thing’s right. She’s going to make sure Cadence Talle, who has spent her life understanding others, is finally understood herself

• And then Councillor Kenric dies.

• They’re both made candidates for the councillor position

• When Alina’s elected it’s unlike she ever imagined it would be. This isn’t going to be in and out. It’s not a matter of changing the match system or garnering respect for the talentless. She’s smack in the middle of a war. The man who held her position previously was murdered. It’s a greater commitment than she ever wanted out of the nobility, and it comes to her right when she’s finally got Cadence back again after so many years

• Cadence encourages her to take the position. She’s stuck at Foxfire anyways so it isn’t like she’s going anywhere. She’s- endlessly- worried about Alina’s safety, but she keeps those fears to herself. If Alina’s to be a councillor, Cadence will need to trust and respect her as a leader, not coddle her like a lover- much as she might like to.

• Alina eventually relents and takes up her new position

• The two keep in contact with calls here and there, but Alina is more busy than she’s ever been and after Ravagog is destroyed Cadence demands time away from her duties at foxfire to visit and help with damage control and recovery

• The next time they’re alone in person again Cadence is lying unconscious in an infirmary bed

• When Alina got the news that she had been attacked at Havenfield she dropped everything to visit her. It was impossible to pry her from her side. She sat next to her bed and gripped her hand as tightly as she could in her own, begging her to wake up and be alright

• Cadence doesn’t take too long to come around, and when she does she find’s her chest grows unbearably warm at the sight of Alina, whom she accepts that, in that moment, she is still completely in love with

• Cadence assured her that she’s fine, even attempting to get out of bed in order to hug her. This does not work. Alina has to drag her back onto the bed before Elwin bursts in and tells them both off

• It takes Cadence a while to talk Alina out of assigning her a body guard, and Alina relents only just barely under the logic that the attack wasn’t targeted at Cadence so there’s no need for concern

• Alina can tell that the incident weighs on her, but again she can’t get her to open up

• When Luminaria falls Alina, fortunately, sustains a few cuts and a couple broken bones like some of the other councillors but nothing too bad. By the time Cadence hear’s of the incident and comes running there’s not much to see of the accident anymore. But that doesn’t stop Cadence from pressing kisses against what of her is bandaged up (and dousing her in a number of different baked confections and flavorful teas)

• Again, they’re contact wanes for a little. Cadence is desperate to keep Dimitar from shutting the ogres away from the rest of the world and focussed most of her attention on that

• When they talk again it’s after Alina had been told that Cadence was the intended target of the Havenfield attack. Before she can start talking about bodyguards and security measures, however, Cadence finally breaks down.

• She clings to Alina like a child and recounts the interrogation session, how she’d failed to reason with the ogre, how he’d died as a result. Alina can’t empathize with her grief. She thinks of the assassin and bile rises in her throat. But she stifles her anger and holds cadence, promising that it isn’t her fault, that the work she’s done is good work, that the hatred he held for her was unwarranted and ill conceived

• When Cadence calms down she explains everything she’s been withholding. Her anxiety about their relationship, her paralyzing lonliness, her frustrations having to abandon her research, her still very real love for Alina

• Alina can’t help the few tears that come to her eyes. She’s finally got past Cadence’s walls, she can finally talk to her and comfort her like she needs to in order to help her feel secure

• Alina assures her that their relationship was never a burden, that she’s never been ashamed of Cadence, that she still loves her as well, and that she’d always be willing to take her back. They touch on other issues as well. Alina can’t entirely convince her that she doesn’t need to be constantly reserve herself they do make an agreement to be more open with one another

• They’re still plenty busy though, and mostly keep their interactions to friendly conversation and platonic affection as so not to threaten Alina’s position on the council. Alina has made plans to resign once the Neverseen is dealt with and marry Cadence like she’d always planned. Cadence is hoping that Alina won’t mind spending some of their time as a couple in Ravagog, and Alina’s hoping that Cadence won’t mind spending some time literally anywhere else