#it doesn't mean I'm not fucking sad as shit)

[alchemistc]

Y'all were so insistent that I keep going with the Eddie Fixes It By Making It Worse post breakup fic.

This is officially a three-parter. Sorry. Or you're welcome.

You can read part one here

We have to make out in front of Tommy.

Buck's in the ice cream aisle, reminding himself that he has given himself three more days of moping and ignoring his diet before he gets his ass in gear and starts to live a life again. The Halo Top is mocking him, jeering and heckling as he goes for the Blue Ribbon. Mint chocolate, because Buck always loved it and he can almost forget the mock fight he'd had with Tommy three months in when he told Buck he refused to allow toothpaste flavored treats into his home, and how they'd barely gotten back to his place without a public indecency citation.

He stares at the text until his eyes cross.

What, he sends back, and slowly, cautiously, returns the pint of ice cream to its spot in the cooler. Maybe he should lay off the sugar. He's had enough.

Trust me

It comes in almost immediately and Buck tries to rewind, tries to figure out what any of this means, what the context is, why he's getting an actual Trust Me Bro from his best friend.

You've already met your last and it's not me comes crashing back to the forefront of his mind. He's had a full 36 hours to forget it, and he had been nearly there, nearly ready to chalk it up to Tommy trying to make him angry. Which he's been doing a really fucking excellent job of, lately. Almost like he knows all the buttons to push. Like Buck had given him the owners manual.

Tommy had meant Eddie? How could Eddie have possibly come to that conclusion? What the hell was he doing sending Buck half across town to the market for snacks when -

Buck judges the distance from this market to Eddie's. Then to Tommy's.

"Oh you mother -."

A woman squeaks by with her kid in the cart seat and glares.

---

Are you at Tommy's right now

No question marks. This is an accusation. Buck's thankful there are no perishables in his cart as he abandons it in the lane and hikes it towards the door. It's a dick move, and Buck feels, a little spitefully, like if anyone remembers him they'll remember him from the times he and Tommy giggled and play-fought down the aisles, so they'll think of Tommy when they think of the cart left behind. Resent him for it, maybe.

Not like Tommy isn't particularly good at just leaving things behind.

Yeah. Join me.

Buck breaks through the doors and feels a little woozy. This might be a panic attack. His chest fucking hurts.

🖕just get my stuff and meet me at yours. tell Tommy we burned all his shit

Eddie is an asshole. I'm not gonna LIE to the man. Also he definitely doesn't have an Evan box ready to go, so take what you will from that

Buck's still in that vicious cycle where he goes from angry to upset to sad in record time, no barriers in between, where every bruise feels like it's healing too fast so he keeps pressing in just to watch the color muddle. He hates this.

It'd be a Buck box, Buck texts back, just to release some of the pressure behind his temples, and he pulls in a few deep breaths before he jogs for the Jeep. He's gonna go home. Throw on the DVD copy of Sleepless In Seattle Tommy left behind and then maybe once that's done he'll throw the damn thing in a blender.

Are you coming or not?

Buck turns the ignition and peels out in a direction that won't lead to his own home, or the things Buck has been too much of a mopey bastard to pack up and return to their owner. At a red light two miles down the road, he shares his location.

Eddie sends back an ominous Hope you brushed your teeth today.

---

Eddie gets the door and it sucks just as much as if Tommy had. They barely ever spent time at Tommy's, and Buck can see it now for the boundary it was. When they had, though, their time had been split pretty evenly between Buck picking him up for a date, and Eddie wanting to leave the quiet echo of his own house to hang with them - a car on a lift and beers shared between them, Buck watching the pull of muscle beneath Tommy's shorts as he took Eddie down to the mat, Tommy's fingers drifting through the short curls at the back of Bucks head while Eddie yelled about triple-doubles and chatted with Tommy about how impossible coverage was for some guy named Joker.

Buck has never actually figured out who that guy was. Eddie hated the Mavericks and he hated the Lakers but Eddie also complained about the guy so much he definitely wasn't a Clipper.

Eddie gets him by the forearm when Buck shows clear signs of regretting this. Drags him through the front door before Buck can fully execute his spin and stomp back to the Jeep.

Tommy's next door neighbor had waved at him from her yard where she was doing something new with her display of bird sculptures, and Buck hadn't had the heart to do anything but raise his hand back.

It's less than ten seconds before Eddie is steering him down the hall, into the living room. It's cozy in here. Lived in. Mismatched furniture that somehow fits, a blanket thrown over the side of the couch, dark wood tables and light wood flooring and lamps that look like they came from an estate sale up in the Hills. A huge ass TV set above the mantle of a gas fireplace that Buck never even had the opportunity to see working before... Before.

Tommy is a shadow coming out of the kitchen, and Buck can't help but be a little pleased that he looks as crappy as Buck feels.

---

Eddie claps his hands together before either of them can get a word in. "Okay. Here's the thing. You're both dumbasses and there's a lot of shit that you guys gotta figure out on your own. But apparently you," he points at Tommy with the lip of a beer bottle. Corona. Tommy hates the stuff, and Buck is reminded once again how dearly Eddie loves him, "need empirical evidence that there's no deeply repressed sexual tension between Buck and I. So."

"You're insane," Tommy says, and Buck feels like snapping at him. He's probably right. This is an insane thing to do. Eddie ambushed his ex and then ambushed Buck in the frozen treats aisle and now he wants to kiss Buck to prove a point? What??

Eddie ignores it. Turns to Buck. "How do you wanna do this?"

And now would be the time, actually. Now would be the time to cut the thread, make it clean, break it for good. Only despite his protest, Tommy is staring between them and his expression looks almost... hungry. Frightened, at the same time. Oh. Oh.

He really had thought...?

Eddie's a fucking idiot. Buck doesn't want to kiss him. He's squared with the fact that he definitely had a crush when they first met and he's definitely been attracted to Eddie and just not realized it but he doesn't want Eddie. He doesn't want a life with Eddie, not like that. He doesn't- He isn't -

He loves Eddie more than almost every other person on the planet, but he's not in love with him.

Buck squares his shoulders. Nods. "Yeah, okay," and then he's taking three strides to meet Eddie at the coffee table.

---

"Oh come on, are you serious?"

Buck ignores the exclamation from the peanut gallery. Tries to figure out where to put his hands. He's never really noticed the height difference before. It's barely anything - a couple inches at most - but it feels like he's looming, this close. Which is stupid. He's been this close to Eddie a million times.

Eddie bends his knees to set the beer down. Darts his gaze back up to Buck.

Buck's seen him pull this move before, and has to bite down the urge to cackle because those big brown cow eyes have charmed women up and down California and probably plenty of Texas too but the only time Buck's ever seen them look genuine was when he was looking at Shannon.

He's got a good face. Angular in all the right places, expressive in a way a lot of men try to hide. Good eyelashes, clear skin.

Eddie gets a thumb in one of Buck's belt loops and tugs.

It's a good move. It's a move that has inspired Buck to sink to his knees on more than one occasion with the right men. Man. Just the one man.

He desperately bites back a giggle when the front of their thighs brush and Buck feels nothing more than the heat coming off Eddie.

Eddie's flushed, just a little, like he's well aware how ridiculous this all is, but he's got his I'm So Fucking Serious face on and there is a part of Buck, something fucked up and broken and wrong, that wonders how Tommy would feel to see it. To know that Buck is out there in the world kissing people who aren't Tommy. It's not like he'd ended things because he didn't care for Buck, because he wasn't attracted to him. It's gotta sting, right?

Buck gets a hand on Eddie's waist, just above his hip bone. He's never actually paid attention to how much more slim Eddie is, before, how big Buck's hands feel against him.

The night Tommy had first kissed him, Buck had spent an indeterminate length of time replaying every second of the interaction. The lead up, the frank honesty, the way Buck's entire body had followed the flow of Tommy's. Heart racing, body thrumming: when Tommy had ducked his head, when he'd laughed, when he'd opened up his body language and dropped a tiny morsel of his heart, Buck had felt himself drawn in.

The lips that had caught his had set him alight.

Eddie shifts his weight and blinks up at him and for half a second Buck wants this to be a good kiss - earth shattering, life changing. He wants to feel it. Wants it to be better than every kiss he and Tommy ever shared.

The pointer and middle finger he uses to tilt Eddie's chin up are petty as hell.

[theinheriteddutchess]

Ok so suede is extremely well behaved! I don't know if that's his personality or a deeper more psychological meaning👀🥺 but most kids would just wake up there parents especially when they're so young.

I'm so proud of him for doing it! 😭

Ok this whole scenario with Andy and suede…I am so filled with warmth. It's so cute and that little bit is visioning and loved and safe. And about to fall asleep lol.

Maybe her ovaries ache for a different reason 😏

See I'm not liking this, where she has to ask if she can take them away while he doesn't communicate his plans at all and would probably just take them and maybe inform her last minute probably. Her mom knew! She was right.

Though i get that it's hard if your kids would call another partner a mom or dad, the fact is Scott doesn't deserve to be called that title and it's sad how scared Audrey is to disappoint him.

… Even the playdoh isn't safe from Scott's bullshit.

Ok I wouldn't recommend topless cooking!I can only imagine grease splatters on your chest😭 that shits no joke

Lol she's a brat. And that little back and forth with the boyfriend\fiance thing To be honest she's being unreasonable and angry at the wrong person here.🤷🏻‍♀️

He he that burn about his fear of sharks, fucking hypocrit. Also! Why would Taylor's parents even accept this relationship? Their skank of a daughter should be a shame, and they would expect this relationship not to work out anyway. And I don't doubt she won't think of suedes allergies!

Fuck you Scott, truly get stubborn for that fat comment

And get double fucked for saying suede shouldn't be there. Fuck you, you fucking fucktard, I will dance on your funeral.

And Taylor can fuck of too, laughing at a two year old. She works protect that little bit, but she's vile. Sorry I just have no patience or empathy for either, I wish them horrible things. i want them to be humiliated and hurt, lile truly, maybe they'll never learn l but maybe, if they're down and vertonen they can understand what empathy is. Though I doubt it.

**“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”*"

He he hypocrit, because you were fucking Taylor during your marriage, and also, yes, Andy is enjoying himself. A lot.

Okay I tired myself out😭

Until we meet again.

Ps, probably a gazillion mistakes but I tried!

Two Good Reasons, Part 8

Summary: something is happening

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings:  explicit language, explicit sexual content, playful degradation, mentions of divorce, mentions of neglect, unprotected sex, slight voyeurism, Scott, creampie, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 5.7K

Previous

Series Masterlist

*dividers created by @firefly-graphics

“NaNa?” Suede looks up from the toys he’s playing with pointing down the hallway to your bedroom. Desperately trying to get Andy to wake you up, “Mama and Dee seep?”

“Yes, buddy,” Suede huffs a bit. Crossing his arms over his chest before his mouth flattens out, and he returns to his playing. Andy watches him a moment before looking back at the game on tv. Suede looks back down the hallway before pouting up at Andy, “Suedey, what’s wrong?”

“Me pee,” he says, rocking his body back and forward.

“In your diaper?” He shakes his head no, looking towards the bathroom, and he jumps up. His feet bounce around a bit before he jumps, holding himself. “Okay. Come on,” Andy stands up, and walks quickly towards Suede, “Let’s go, buddy.”

“Mama be mad?” His brows furrow as he starts bouncing around even more. Andy knows he has moments before Suede has an accident and gets upset for doing so.

“Your mama won’t be mad. Come on,” Suede holds himself as he runs towards the bathroom, and makes it to his potty just in time. He gives Andy a thumbs up, smiling so proudly at him. “You made it! Does that feel better than a diaper?”

“Chess! Me yike it. NaNa pee der?” Suede points at the bigger toilet, and Andy nods his head, “Me, too?”

“One day. And you’ll get to stand.”

“No,” Andy nods his head yes. “No, no.”

“Has your dad never,” he stops his question when Suede scrunches his nose up. Andy approaches the boy carefully. A child with so very little vocabulary, and still so young, but clearly Scott hadn’t been teaching him anything about pottying.

“Tay.”

“Taylor?” Suede nods his head, and Andy wonders what his limited words are trying to tell him. He’s noticed that you don’t ever press your children about time at their dad’s, so he doesn’t want to either. But he wonders if Taylor is the one that deals with bathroom or diaper duty, “You done?”

“Chess! My mama at?”

“She and Audrey are taking a nap,” Suede dramatically rolls his eyes at Andy, and pulls up his pants. “Audrey has a bit of a cold, and your mama is tired.”

“Ways seep!” He rolls his eyes again, starting to stomp out of the bathroom.

“Hands, Suede,” Andy’s voice is soft, but demanding. It’s not a question, it’s what Suede has to do.

“Ugh,” groaning, he gets on the stool, grunting as he reaches for the soap.

“I know mama has been needing some extra sleep lately, but it happens to everyone,” Suede shakes his head no, starting to play more in the water than washing his hands. “Yes, they do. Your mom works hard, she loves you and sissy harder, and…”

“Ove oo.”

“Yes, she loves me, too. Are you finished?” Suede giggles as Andy picks him up to use the towel. He swings him around until he’s sitting on his hip, and he peeks into the bedroom, and you’ve still got Audrey tight against your body. Your nose buries into her watermelon scented hair, and she clings just as tightly to you.

Suede gets one look at you and growls, “Now, you’ve got to share time with your mom. You could have taken a nap, too, and you said no. You want to nap?”

“No,” shaking his head no, he points at Andy’s chest. Sputtering out words before sighing. Once Andy gets into the living room, he points at the tv.

“You want to watch the game or Bluey?”

“Oo Oo,” that settled that. He yawns, and Andy chooses to ignore it, if you bring up nap to Suede, he’ll refuse it just to spite you. Still holding him he walks into the kitchen. Grabbing himself a beer, and a cup of watered down juice for Suede. “Nack, pease,” his speaking has immensely improved. Suede has slowly been able to put words into sentences.

“A snack. Hmm. What about your fruit salad? No strawberries, and no..?”

“Pies,” pineapples. Close enough. “NaNa, my ove oo,” he lays his head on Andy’s chest, snuggling in a bit tighter. He always tells fibs about being sleepy. Sleepy Suede, is more cuddly loving Suede.

“I love you, too, buddy. You ready to watch some Bluey?”

“Chess!” But his ’yes’ is just a little bit softer, and he never lifts his head off Andy’s chest.

—

You yawn, looking down at your daughter who rubs the sleep out of her eyes. Audrey looks up at you, giving you a sleepy smile, “Did you sleep as hard as mommy?”

“Uh huh,” she sits up in the bed, stretching big. “I like this new bed. Can we see what Andy and Suedey are doing,” she jumps out of the bed immediately, but waits for you to stretch, too. Going behind her, you scoop her up in your arms to blow raspberries all over her, but stop when you walk into the living room.

This is the sight you’ve always wanted to see; a sticky-faced little boy snuggled up against his dad’s chest, while both of them are passed out. The comfort that Suede feels with Andy matches the way he feels about you. You have no fears when he’s with Andy. You know that Andy has his allergies memorized, but also checks the list that’s on the fridge constantly.

He wanted to watch some football, but opted for Bluey so Suede could fall asleep. He agreed to stay up a bit longer with Suede, spend some one on one time with him, while you and Audrey were already piled up and snuggled. Sunday naps are your favorite for a reason.

“They’re sleeping,” Audrey looks at you with a big smile. You know she enjoys seeing Suede being happy and more content here. She shouldn’t have to worry about her brother, but she does. The best big sister you could have asked for. “Suedey likes Andy a whole whole lot.”

“So does Audrey, huh?” She giggles, nodding her head. “How about mommy and Audrey get a snack, and you can play at the table while mommy makes dinner?” She nods again, while you look back at Andy and Suede. He makes your ovaries ache. Seeing how good he is with children that aren’t his, you know this man deserves someone of his blood. You don’t know how, but you’ll make it happen.

You honestly can’t even wait to spend all these holidays with Andy and the kids. Biting on your lip, you glance at the family calendar, knowing it’s past time to ask Scott if you can go back to Michigan with the kids to spend time with your family for Thanksgiving. It was your weekend to have them. Scott hadn’t told you about plans with Taylor’s family, or if he was even interested in seeing them on the holiday.

You didn’t want to travel for Christmas, but Andy had the time off for Thanksgivng. You had the time off. You missed your family, and wanted them to see Andy with your babies. Let them see how much the kids have grown, and also a grownup Andy. Your mom obsessively talked about him. Even told you on your wedding day you should try and find Andy again because you were making a mistake. Mom’s always know best. And your mom definitely knew.

“Mommy?” You look up from slicing the vegetables for a roast, letting Audrey know she has your attention, “I think I messed up.”

“Why’s that?” She bites on her lip, looking more like you every day, even with her mannerisms. Audrey looks down at the PlayDoh she’d been kneading, and looks down the hallway towards the living room. “Audi? Is everything okay?”

“I called Andy daddy,” she sighs, and finally looks up at you. You meet her with a smile on your face. You and Andy hadn’t found the time or the way to bring up that comment. “It was at donuts for dad, and I just think I got confused. My head was all mushy, and I didn’t mean it. But I liked having him there, and showing my room. You’re the only one that’s seen it.”

Her face falls to sadness, and you lay down the knife. Walking around the counter island to hug her, “Sweet girl, Andy and I aren’t mad.”

“But what about my daddy? Are you going to tell him?” You weren’t. But eventually if Audrey kept feeling comfortable with Andy, and letting that title slip, he would know.

“Do you want me to?” She shakes her swiftly, and buries herself into your chest. “No. But I also think you should call Andy whatever feels natural. You naturally called him that because at that moment that’s what he felt like to you. Baby, Andy adores and loves you, and doesn't not care what you call him. Unless it’s something like poppy head,” Audrey giggles, finally lifting up from your body.

“What about daddy?” She pouts. No matter what, this little girl adores her dad, and she’s already over concerned about Scott’s opinion. “Won’t he be mad?”

“We don’t have to tell daddy if you don’t want to. Daddy never has to know. I don’t want you to stress about this. You’re four, almost five,” Scott is going to keep on and turn your precious child into a neurotic clam.

Her little fingers pet over your shirt, looking like she’s up to something. Her sly smile is so cute that you just want to give her a hard kiss on her cheek. “Can we go to Paris for my birthday?”

“No,” you answer quickly. Traveling out of the country with ‘Scott’s children’ would be out of the question. Going to Paris before her birthday would be even more so with planning alone. “Pick somewhere else to go.”

“Nini and Poppy’s?”

“That’s what I’m hoping to do for Thanksgiving. What about something around here?”

A finger taps on her chin, humming so sweetly while she thinks. “Can we go to the aquarium, and soft play, and then pizza, and then go to a movie?”

“I think that sounds like a magical day. Who do you want to go?”

“Our family,” you want to squeeze her so tight. Her sweetness comes out of her, and you need to preserve these little moments. “You, and me, and Suedey, and Andy,” you nod your head. Pressing a kiss to her forehead before placing her back in her seat. She’s making you oddly over emotional, and it feels so confusing and overwhelming, and you love it.

“Audrey, you are the cutest, most sweetest little girl I’ve ever met, you know that?”

“Yes, I do,” she gives you a little giggle, returning to her PlayDoh. You happen to glance at it a moment. “Is this what the judge’s bench looks like,” you finally understand Andy’s frustration with this.

“Audi, why don’t you make a cupcake instead.”

“No, I gotta learn.”

Waking up without the kids feels so awful. Yes, you have your wonderful boyfriend-fiance, and you refuse to call him fiance until he gives you a ring. And while waking up without them at home with you is better with Andy, due to the distraction, but it still sucked. The only good thing is having Andy prance around nearly naked.

He loves to keep the doors locked, the blinds closed, and walk around with his cock out all day. It’s like he’s teasing you. And you have no problem partaking. He really likes it when you’re naked or at least topless. Especially topless cooking, like now.

You’re being cheeky teenagers again, except without so many restrictions. Standing over the pot of soup, you giggle as Andy comes up behind you with his hands on your tits. He looks over your shoulders softly petting around your nipple. His smile is infectious as he pebbles the sensitive skin. “You’re so,” a lewd moan ripples through your throat, and you back your ass into his cock.

“Fuck me.”

“Sensitive,” Andy gives your nipples a hard pinch, and twirls you around to look at him, and you immediately cup his cock, and he meets your energy, except he shoves two fingers into your warmth, and you whimper, “You’re fucking soaked,” he’s shocked at how ready you are for him.

“I’m fucking horny,” you whine, grinding over his fingers like a bitch in heat. You’re so needy for him right now.

“Yeah, no shit, Doe. You are leaking out, and making a mess on your thighs. What has got you worked up?” His voice is laced with so much hunger for you. My god, this man and that cock you can have whenever you want. And you want immediately. “You’re so fucking messy.”

You can’t stop it. There’s something about his voice that sounds accusatory. And you’re fucking horny. You want to have sex, you don’t want to have a lecture. The soup is simmering and not ready. The kids aren’t here. And you want to be fucked so hard you fall asleep again.

“Maybe if my boyfriend didn’t walk around the damn house with his dick swinging around,” he grimaces at the word boyfriend and the way you emphasized it. “Get hard!”

“Make me,” you’re a bit irritated at him, but not enough to refuse making him hard. You sink to your knees, and take his hardening cock into your hand. You kiss over his member. Looking up at him with the sweetest face that you can muster. You’re not sweet. You’re a goddamn whore for Andy Barber.

“You are a horny little slut, hmm?” Shimmying your shoulders, you nod your head with a smile. Sucking his cock into your mouth so you can suck and use your tongue to massage him. Moaning as he turns to steel in your mouth. “Fuck. You seriously are a master with your mouth. My fiance looks amazing just like this. Taking my cock just like she was made to do.”

What? You pull off his cock slowly, and stare up at him scowling, “What?” He asks, mouth hanging open looking at you.

“Seriously?”

He furrows his brows, and you lose patience. Leaning back on your heels, he asks that stupid question again, “What, Doe?” You don’t say anything, just move to stand. “No. You stay and talk to me. What is your deal?”

Your deal? He grabs your arm, but you shrug him off, and march away from him. “Doe!” You keep walking away from him, but he doesn’t let up. Using your real name, and it hurts for some reason. The vitriol reaction you have to hearing him say a name that everyone calls you. Doe is special to him. His little deer.

“Do not call me that, Andy Barber!”

“I seriously have no idea what is going on right now,” of course he wouldn’t. Because he didn’t understand anything. And currently neither do you.

“Ugh!” Spinning back on your heels, you walk away. Again. Heading towards the bedroom. The two of you look utterly ridiculous; you wearing nothing but cheeky panties, and him completely nude with a hard on. Serves him right. Maybe he can have blue balls because the free show is over now. He needs to gravel, and plead.

“I sound stupid!” You scream at yourself, and you fall onto the bed like a petulant child. You sound like a toddler, and still you can’t stop the weird feeling. It’s not anger as much as it’s complete frustration. You can’t make it stop. You want to be fucked. You want Andy to propose like he said he would. You want to move and live in a house that doesn’t have Scott’s name on it. You want your children to quit leaving you every other weekend.

You want Scott to quit throwing lame excuses over your head trying to scare and threaten you. You want him to stop fighting for full custody. You don’t want him to even have joint custody. You want your babies. And you want them with you and Andy.

“Baby,” Andy coos on your back. He peppers kisses all over your back, and you cry more. You’re trying to be mad at him! “Honey, tell me what’s wrong?”

“I hate him,” he doesn’t have to see your face to know your crying. Your trembling body tells him.

“That’s not what set this off. Tell me what made you angry at first,” was it not Scott? Or is everything just rushing at you at once?

“You’re a liar,” you sound like a child. Audrey doesn’t whine as much as you are.

“I am not.”

“You said you were going to propose for real, and you haven’t,” make it stop. Go back to blaming Scott. You sound like an entitled asshole. Andy said he had a ring, and he said he was going to propose, and he will.

“I called you my fiance,” his voice is so soft, and understanding, but it kind of ticks you off again, and you try to resist. You don’t want to make things worse.

“And I hate it here. I hate that he takes our babies away every other weekend, and I only get to see their faces a little bit. Or when Suede tries to text from his ‘mini’ iPad, and it’s just emojis. And I love that you help him potty. And I’m so horny,” Andy chuckles on your back. He uses his feet to push legs apart.

His thick fingers start teasing through your weeping cunt, and another alarm goes off, “You’re trying to change the subject.”

“You just said you were horny, so I’m going to fuck you, and then we can talk about everything else like adults.”

“You fuck me from behind to much,” he growls. Actually growls on your body. “Andy!” His hands grip you tight before flipping you over on your back, and stepping in between your legs. He moves aside your panties, and you know how stupid it sounds inside your head, but you can’t stop it. “Are you seriously trying to fuck me like some bitch you met at the club without taking her panties off?”

He gives you the most angry grin you’ve ever seen. Tight lipped and irritated when he rips the damn things off, “Those were my favorite panties.”

“No, they weren’t,” you gawk at him. “No. No, they weren’t. Your favorite ones are those pink ones. They cover your full ass, and there’s something about the way they just don’t move on your body, so you’re not tugging them around all day,” you really gawk at him. He’s right. “And when we sleep, your ass cheeks hang out just the tiniest bit and I want to bite each one. So not only are they comfortable on you, they look amazing on, or on the floor.”

Andy crashes into your whiny ass warmth, and your back lifts off the bed. “Now, I don’t know what set you off, or why you’re being so unreasonable but I want to talk about it.”

“I want you to fuck me!” He pulls himself all the way out before slamming into so hard. “Fuck me!”

“I am!” He does it again. And again until your eyes start to crash. “I am your partner, and I want to listen to what’s bothering you.”

“Everything!” He stalls his movements, before leaning over you. His hands in a fist to hold his weight off you just enough. But you want to feel him on you. You want to feel that slight pressure and weight, and know that he’s there, “Everything. I don’t know how to explain it, and I don’t know how to talk about it. I spent so many years sucking up my problems because I didn’t have a real job, and he did. You don’t want to hear about my problems because you’re busier than me.”

“I do,” you shake your head no, but Andy grips onto your chin tightly. His hips slowly push and pull him out of your warmth. You really are a damn teenager. Can’t have an adult conversation without needing your boyfriend-fiancé’s cock inside of you, and all you can do is cry and shake your head. “Doe, I want to hear everything. We are partners. When you don’t feel well, I don't feel well. I want you to be happy because that makes my days better.”

“I don’t want him to have our babies,” you said it again without any hesitation. You want Andy to have your children. You would ask him to adopt them today if you knew it was possible.

He nods his head. His rhythm is still so steady, “The custody hearing is getting closer,” it isn’t a question, but you nod your head. He knows that’s part of what’s bothering you, “Honey, I’m not going to let anyone take the kids from us.”

“You can’t promise that,” Andy leans forward, and kisses each cheek, pulling back you notice the shine on his lips. “Did you just kiss my tears away?”

“I did. That’s what I want. I want to kiss away all your tears, and I want us to be okay. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” tears steadily flow down your face, and he keeps kissing over your cheeks, and it doesn’t help. Except those tears stop hurting so much. You’re now crying because you’re so happy with the right partner. “Honey, I love you.”

“I love you,” your words bubble over. He’s so perfect, and you’re just not. You’re not a superhuman, you’re not the thinnest, the most beautiful, the smartest, but you know you’re a damn good mom, and you were a good wife to an asshole. But you could be the best wife to Andy. “I want to marry you.”

“You’ve got to get divorced first,” you snort. Finally sounding happier than sadder. He smiles, kissing you gently. “I’ll marry you the day after if that’s what you want.”

“It was always you,” you may sound silly. You two may argue over the stupidest things. But it was always him. “I’m sorry that I’m a child sometimes.”

“You’re normally not,” he bites his lip as he pounds into you quickly. “Now, hold — fucking hell!” He yells, slamming his hand on your phone. “You’re answering it.”

“You are fucking me,” giggling, you read his name, and know why Andy wants you to answer.

“And I’ll keep fucking you. So you better listen to little Scottie the first time,” whimpering, you shake your head no.

“Just finish quickly.”

“I don’t want to, I want to take my time. Answer it.”

Groaning, you click on the phone, “Hey,” Andy is an asshole. He keeps a slow rhythm into your body. “What are you needing?”

“Why do you sound sniffly?”

“My allergies have been irritating me lately,” you can feel his eyes roll, “What’s up?”

“Taylor is wanting to throw Audrey a party,” he blurts out. You don’t hate Taylor. But you don’t think Taylor is capable of throwing Audrey a birthday party either. Plus, she’s got the celebration one in her classroom, and doesn’t love large crowds. “She wants to give her a party at an event center with clowns.”

“She’s terrified of clowns, and characters in costumes,” she likes her characters 2D.

“She’s not over that yet?”

“Are you over your fear of sharks?” Scott huffs. “I’m listening. What else?” Andy pistons into your body so hard that you have to slap your hand over your mouth to keep a sound of deep satisfaction from escaping. “Jerk!”

“Just have Taylor’s family,” why? “And a few kids from her classroom,” a few can range to a large number. “She wants a caterer.”

“For a five year old?” You already see what Taylor is doing. She wants her family there, so she can show off how much her boyfriend can spend on silly little things like a birthday party.

“Not everybody wants to make everything by hand like you, Ms. Perfect,” you know Andy is aware of everything that Scott is saying. It’s why he grits his teeth as he pounds into your body balls deep, and lets the tip of his cock settle against your cervix sweetly. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing,” just having the best sex with the deepest penetration.

“You’re panting.”

“I just got off the treadmill,” just getting fucked.

“Honey, it’s not baby weight anymore, Suede is two,” another harsh move into you, and Andy’s face starts to turn red. Angry with Scott’s unnecessary harsh words.

“She wants to go to Paris.”

“Absolutely not. I’m not paying for that shit.”

You roll your eyes. Scott seriously didn’t understand, nor were you asking him to pay for anything. “She’s obsessed with Madeline. Why not do a Parisian theme. But for fuck’s sake, can the two of you make sure that Suede can have everything there? You know how kids are.”

“You could keep him that day.”

Andy bites your neck slightly too hard, “Ow.”

“What?” Andy growls on your skin. “Oh god, did I upset Andrew?” No, he’s pissing you off.

“You upset me. Either Suede goes, or you don’t need to throw a party for Audrey,” he starts to say something, but you speak louder, “That’s his sister, and you know the special bond that they have. Either you include Suede in the festivities, or you don’t do it. Audrey will want to talk about it, and it won’t be fair to our son.”

“He’s fucking two years old, he won’t remember it.”

You lift up on your elbows, throwing all caution to the wind when you grab Andy’s ass, and pull him deeper into you. You wink at your fiance. “Do you think he doesn’t know the disdain that you have for him? How you won’t even spend the goddamn time to help him pee in the potty while he’s there? Do you think Audrey doesn’t tell me about the giggling you and Taylor did when he cried because he had an accident that smelled. Shit stinks, you asshole. Even your precious Taylor’s. So either you have a party that Suede can fully be a part of, or don’t bother throwing a party that she doesn’t even want anyways.”

Andy moans, and Scott whispers an expletive. You hope that Scott knows that you’re getting ground into with the biggest cock right now. Andy pushes into you faster. Harder. “Is there a problem, Scott?”

“You can be a bitch sometimes. Just didn’t realize it until after we split.”

“And you can be an asshole sometimes. I always knew it, but I overlooked it for some reason. And if I ever hear about you and Taylor making a comment about Suede’s shitty diaper again…” Andy pushes into you so hard, your eyes roll into the back of your head. You can’t make threats. “He’s a baby, and we are teaching him to potty train. If you don’t want to change diapers, do the same at your house.”

“He’s with you more.”

“Consistency is the key. Is that all?” His side is silent, minus the heavy breathing. You can hear his finger tapping on something. His annoying fucking habit when he gets angry. Fucking asshole. He’s a little bitch. Having to make a two year old feel bad for an accident in his diaper to make him feel superior.

“Audrey shouldn’t — are you,” he pauses. You’ve stunned him into silence, and he doesn’t even know what to say, “What do you want?”

“I want you to treat both our children the same. I want you to treat Suede like he’s your son, and that you love him. I want you to be just as proud of him as you are of Audrey. I want you to stop pushing the responsibilities of our children onto Taylor. I want my son to come home happy. I don’t want him to see me, and not want to let go of me for a few hours. Mmm,” Andy really is an asshole for pushing into you so deep that you can’t stop the sound of bliss.

Scott knows. He knows that Andy is giving it to you so good, and when you get off the phone that Andy is going to fuck you like a slut. “Andy told you to write,” he sighs. Yes, Andy and you have been writing down every indiscretion to your children that he does, “I just can’t connect with him.”

“What are you saying?” Your fingers dig into Andy’s ass. You're angry. You’re pissed. You’re ready to kill your ex.

“I don’t,” he’s choosing his words carefully. You wish he would just rip the bandaid off. “He’s not an easy child. Audrey is. I had bonding time with her. And then…”

“And then my postpartum depression cramped your sex life. And then our son became the number one man in my life. And then our son was sick all the time. You never even tried to connect with him. You never even noticed that I was drowning. All you cared about was getting your dick wet. So my advice to you is to make sure you don’t knock Taylor up, because you can’t handle anything with a penis being put above you. Is that all?”

“Fuck you. You are so self righteous. You act like you’re the perfect fucking parent, and nobody is ever going to compare to you. I hope Andy enjoys trying to please someone who is impossible to please,” you moan again. Having to bite on Andy’s arm. “You fucking slut. How dare you fuck that asshole while you’re talking to me!”

“My fucking slut,” Andy grunts before reaching to your phone, and ending the call. “After this court hearing, and when it’s determined about the kids,” he stops himself. His thrusts are angry. “Do you realize I want to,” you cover his mouth with your hand, shaking your head.

“Do not say that. I just want our,” you smile at him, letting him know that it’s not an accident when you say our, “babies. Oh god,” he ruts into you, and your body becomes soft for him. Pliable to his every move, and you stare at the man that didn’t even have to try, and he reached your ‘impossible’ standards. Scott is wrong. And you’re never going to allow him to hurt your self esteem ever again.

The only thing you want is to know that your babies are safe, and in a loving environment. And if he can’t provide that for them, he might as well just give up trying to fight for them. He only fights for them because it hurts you. But his fight is becoming stale. The only thing he’s holding onto is his pride. Knowing that Audrey could be his legacy, and never thinking that his son could. He wants you to hurt. He wants to shove something in Andy’s face. And all at the expense of his children.

One of these days, he’ll give up on the fight. And when he does, you know that Andy won’t hesitate to pick up those pieces, and be willing to adopt both children, and legally become their father. It’s in knowing a man. It’s knowing that even when you’re acting ridiculous in an argument, that Andy isn’t going to stop. That he’s not going to make some snarky comment that kills your self worth.

He crashes his lips into yours, and the two of you pant. Breathing in each other’s air. Entangling your bodies together in the most beautiful sin. One of these days you won’t have to worry about these conversations. You won’t have to worry about the bane of your existence. You’ll be able to sleep every other weekend because you know that your children are in a safe home.

He presses his forehead against yours while he drives his cock into you so hard. Fusing his body with yours. You can’t look away from his beautiful eyes. Can’t think of anything more besides the fact that Andy is the most beautiful human. Andy is the epitome of a perfect man. Not just in looks, even though he really is the best. But the fact that he isn’t toxic, and he’s all man.

His eyes darken, and his body tightens, “I’m there, Andy.”

“I know, honey,” his salacious moan has your body setting on fire. He’s so vocal during sex that you never have to worry if it truly feels good for him, or if you’re just ‘doing your wifely duties’. “I feel your walls pulsing around me. Squeezing me so tight. Let. Go,” breathing him in, you let every wall fall down as euphoria races through you. Your cunt clenches down around him, and you mewl out his name. Thick. Hot ropes of cum shoot into your pussy, and Andy’s body melts on top of your own.

You just breathe. You soak him all up. Every last drop of him. This will be the one that takes. You know it will be. You furrow your brows as you look up at the ceiling. Counting in your head. Are you even ovulating? Are you…?

“Hey,” he pops up from your chest, smiling, and you forget all the counting. He’s so pretty after sex. “Tomorrow when we go to pick up the kids. There’s somewhere special I want to show you.”

“What is it?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Andy!”

“Doe!”

“Daddy!” He covers your mouth with his hand.

“Woman, being called daddy by you is not my thing. I know you’re doing it to make me cringe. But I just had the best sex of my life, and pissed off a little wanna be man in the process. Let me revel in that fact, and also the fact that your cunt is so full of me that your eyes are swimming,” you shake your head no. His hand is still covering you, but he knows you're smiling.

“Yeah, you’re swimming in Andy cum and Andy dick.”

“I love swimming in Andy.”

“Andy just loves you,” and with that, he kisses you softly. Savoring the different taste of you after sex. He could tell you about all the things that are different about you, but he’ll save it. He won’t be able to save it for too much longer. You’re just being too silly and stressed to realize.

Next

Masterlist

Taglist: @tis-thedamn-season @marveloustaylortot @pono-pura-vida @peaches1958 @seitmai

@smile1318 @andydrysdalerogers @cjand10 @midnightramyeoncravings @kmc1989

@pandaxnienke @kmm-fluv @rogersbarber @theinheriteddutchess @buckybarnesisdaddy @hisredheadedgoddess28

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Denial, Like the River

A Steddie fanfiction

A/N: Minors DNI. Warning, a little smutty. Tw, homophobia

Steve entered the RV, wincing at his wounds. He closed the door and locked it. He slipped off his jacket and then his shirt before grabbing the first aid kit. Just as he opened the box, he heard a loud whimpering. Steve paused and looked around for the sound. Was there an animal in here? He quickly found the source. Eddie was curled up behind the driver's seat, crying.

"Eddie?" Steve asked in concern.

Eddie stood up quickly and wiped his face. He grabbed the first aid kit from Steve.

"Here, let me help you with that," Eddie said, sniffling.

"Are you - no, what a stupid fucking question. Of course, you're not okay," Steve said, and Eddie snorted. "How are you holding up?"

There was a long pause as Eddie focused on unwrapping his bandages and cleaning his wounds. He was surprisingly gentle as he rubbed ointment on his bites. Eddie turned him around to work on the wounds on his arms and back as well. Even though it stung, Eddie's hands also felt good.

"Honestly, trying not to go crazy and trying to stay sane for the kids, too," he finally replied.

"Oh, man, you don't have to do that. I think they don't want to admit how scared they are, hell, I'm scared, too," Steve said.

"You are?" Eddie asked as he finished putting the new bandages on Steve.

Steve turned around to face Eddie again and leaned against the table.

"Of course, just because we've all been through this before doesn't mean that this isn't still terrifying as shit for all of us. I think we've just gotten used to focusing on what's important, and that's saving this town. . .saving you," Steve said. "Man, Dustin's terrified of losing you. He loves you, and I can kind of see why. You're not alone, Eddie."

Steve hated the way his bottom lip quivered and the way his big brown eyes filled with tears. They were very doe-y eyed. The tears spilled over, and Eddie let out a sob. It broke Steve’s heart.

"Everything I touch - Chrissy - I, I'm fucking cursed," Eddie cried.

"No, man, you're not cursed, this fucking town is," Steve said softly.

He stood up and pulled Eddie into his arms. He squeezed him tightly despite the fact that his wounds were killing him. Eddie's body shook as he cried into Steve’s shoulder. Steve cradled the back of his head and began running his hand through his hair. Well, he tried to. Eddie's hair was badly tangled. Eddie winced and hissed as Steve’s fingers snagged at a knot. They both laughed, and that brief moment of comedic relief allowed Eddie to catch his breath. The sniffles subsided, and Eddie went quiet as he continued to keep his head tucked in the crook of Steve’s neck. Eddie let out a sigh as he pulled back. Steve freed a hand and wiped away Eddie's tears, causing a smile to appear on his face. Eddie moved, and suddenly, they were kissing. Everything went blank and fuzzy. There were no thoughts in Steve’s head as he immediately responded to the kiss. It took him a few seconds, but Steve finally realized what was happening. He pulled away.

"What are we doing?" Steve asked.

"You never made out with a friend before?" Eddie asked.

"No," Steve said. "Have you?"

"All the time with Jeff. We're nerds who can't get girls. . .I mean, except that one girl who slept with me as a dare. We like to call it lip hugging," Eddie said and paused, looking sad. "I thought maybe, Chrissy. . ."

"I'm sure she would have, man, without it being a dare. You're hot. . .for a guy," Steve said, and Eddie laughed. "And you're a good man."

"Thanks. . .and thanks for the lip hug, man," Eddie winked. "You're really good at it."

"Thanks for patching me up," Steve said with a smile, and Eddie moved to leave. "Eddie?"

Eddie turned around to face him, looking happier than he did before.

"Yeah?"

"Are we - I mean, are we friends?" Steve asked.

Eddie moved closer to him and brushed a knuckle to Steve’s chin.

"Definitely, big boy," Eddie said and placed a quick kiss to Steve’s lips before bouncing out of the RV.

"EDDDIEEE!"

A chill shot through Steve as he came back from the Creel House with Nancy and Robin when he heard Dustin's scream. Their victory of defeating Vecna and watching his body burning to a crisp was short-lived. Steve shared a look with Nancy and Robin. He didn't hesitate. He took off, running in the direction of Dustin's screams. Dustin was leaning over Eddie's body when they found him. Eddie was covered in blood, surrounded by bat bites, and lying so still. . .Steve felt a cold feeling shoot through his chest. He collapsed next to Eddie.

"Steve, he's not breathing," Dustin sobbed.

Steve felt his stomach wrench, and he wanted to throw up at the look in Dustin's eyes. Steve pressed his ear to Eddie's chest and cursed. He told him not to be a hero, and what did he do? Steve immediately started to perform CPR. Eddie gasped against his mouth and Steve tried not to think about the last time he felt Eddie's lips against his. He pulled back.

"Eddie's breathing! Get to the gate! Now!" Steve yelled as he pulled Eddie into his arms. "Before it closes!"

Nancy and Robin immediately helped Dustin to the gate while Steve did the same with Eddie. He wasn't sure how he was managing to carry Eddie to the gate, but he could guess that it was adrenaline. They helped Steve get Eddie through the gate, and they didn't wait to watch it close before rushing to the hospital. Everything after that happened so fast. Them wheeling Eddie away, not being able to see him, Hopper coming back, and Dr. Owens storming in with a cover story. While most people seemed to buy it, there were still others who weren't quite believing it. So, while Eddie needed to finish his healing, Steve was quick to offer up his house to hide Eddie. He offered it up to Wayne, too, but he said he was staying with a friend, and judging by the way he said it, Steve figured that this friend was a special one. He did give Wayne a key and told him he could stop by whenever he could, which he did. Steve loved it. It felt a lot more cheerful with them both hanging around.

"What's on the tube?" Eddie asked as he plopped on the couch.

It's been several few weeks of healing for both of them. Although Steve had gotten finished faster than Eddie. Their scars were still quite hard to look at it and it was definitely hard to wear shirts, so they went shirtless whenever they could. Steve and Eddie were currently shirtless now, sprawled out on the couch.

"Absolutely nothing," Steve sighed.

"Bummer," Eddie said, crossing his arms, and then glanced over at Steve. "So, you never said how you feel about things ending between you and Wheeler again."

"Actually, it went better than before. We were both a lot more honest with each other, and we're both happy that we tried again. We no longer feel ashamed about what happened that night, and we both know now that we'll always love each other. We, uh, both want different things. So, actually, I feel really good about it," Steve said.

"Well, that's great, man, really," Eddie grinned. "I, uh, never thanked you."

"For what?" Steve asked.

"For carrying me out of hell," Eddie said. "For saving my life."

"I was happy to do it, Eddie, I'm glad you're here," he said softly.

Eddie leaned over and pressed his lips to Steve’s. He cupped the back of Eddie's head and responded eagerly. They haven't done this since the RV, and honestly, Steve had been looking forward to it. He missed the feeling of Eddie's lips. He groaned when Eddie pulled back.

"I just want to thank you, Stevie," Eddie said. "What better way than to give you another lip hug?"

"I'm going to need another hug," Steve whispered.

"Gladly," Eddie said.

"There's nothing on TV anyway," he said.

"Noted."

Eddie climbed into his lap, placing his legs on either side of his hips. He kissed Steve, matching his eagerness from earlier. Steve gasped into his mouth, letting Eddie slip his tongue inside. He placed his hands on Eddie's hips, encouraging him to move them. Eddie rocked his hips and grinded against his clothed hardening cock. A feeling of euphoria rose up inside of Steve. He never felt like this with another man. . .well, he never had another man ride him like Eddie was currently doing. Although there were times with Tommy when they would wrestle, that Steve’s stomach and chest would grow warm. He always chalked it up to getting hot. No, Steve was even warmer than those times he rolled around with Tommy. He moved his hands up Eddie's back and then to his stomach to move them up, gently caressing his scars.

He cupped Eddie's nippleless pec, running his thumb over the scar. It was just as good as cupping a breast. The way Eddie shuddered underneath him told Steve he liked it, but he stopped moving his hips, and his kissing grew softer. Steve broke the kiss, pulled him closer, and shifted him until Steve was to face where Eddie's nipple used to be. He kissed the spot gently at first. Eddie sighed and moaned, curling his fingers into Steve’s hair. He grew more passionate with his kisses, opening his mouth over it. Steve took the bit of skin in his mouth and sucked on it like he would a nipple. Eddie let out a curse. Steve knew he wasn't completely healed yet and that there was some pain, so he pulled back, but Eddie tugged on his hair, keeping him there. Steve bit down.

"JESUS H CHRIST!"

Steve smirked as he pulled away, looking at Eddie.

"You can just call me Steve," he replied.

Eddie flashed his dimples at Steve before sliding off his lap and down to the floor onto his knees. He slipped his fingers into the waistband of Steve’s sweats and boxers. Steve watched with interest as Eddie started sliding them down, and he lifted his hips to help Eddie out. He peeled them all the way off, leaving Steve naked before him except for his socks. Eddie spread Steve’s legs apart and looked down, his eyes dark.

"Big boy, indeed. . .it's not gay if I say it's not gay especially if I'm only thanking you for saving my life, right?" Eddie asked.

"Sounds logical to me," Steve said.

"Hmm, looks like it could use a hug."

Eddie dove between his legs, taking Steve into his mouth.

"Fuck!"

Over the next few weeks, it all escalated from blowjobs to hand jobs, grinding naked against each other until it turned into full blow sex. Steve loved every minute of it. He loved the way Eddie manhandled him, and at the same time, he could be so gentle with him. He loved the way that they both switched as well as fought to be underneath or on top, biting each other and marking each other up along the way. They fucked in the showers, in the kitchen, and on the couch. They had luckily managed to avoid getting caught by Wayne. There were suddenly many situations where there was nothing on TV even when there were tons of stuff on. They didn't talk about it, what they were, or what they were doing. Steve should have known, though, that it was all over when Eddie started going out with Jeff and Doug.

"Oops, Sorry!" Steve heard a giggle come from the hallway and the sound of something breaking.

"Don't worry about it, my roommate's cool with it," Eddie said.

Steve was relaxing on the couch after working all day and giving rides to Dustin. He had hoped to finally cuddle on the couch with Eddie after not seeing him for the past couple of weeks. Eddie had gotten busy working on playing with Corroded Coffin again, and while he has been practicing here, he's mostly been practicing with the guys. Now, it was the first time he was seeing him, and Eddie had brought a girl home. What the fuck? Steve watched as Eddie moved past the entryway, kissing the girl and moving her back against the doorway. She had long strawberry blonde hair, and that was all he could see. Suddenly, Eddie broke the kiss and spotted Steve.

"You don't mind, do you?" Eddie asked.

Steve swallowed his hurt and smiled at him, as well as the bubbly girl in Eddie's arms.

"No, I don't."

"Except that you totally do mind," Robin said.

Steve was stacking videos a week later, and according to Robin, he was stacking them rather angrily.

"No, Robin, I really don't. It's basically his house, too," Steve said. "For whatever reason, they're taking a really long time to find Wayne and Eddie a place."

"Maybe Wayne moved in with his special friend and assumed that Eddie was happy living with you," Robin said.

"I mean, I would be happy if that was the case," Steve said. "I like having Eddie there."

"You don't seem to like having his girlfriend there," Robin pointed out.

"Rebecca is a really nice girl," Steve said. "I don't have a problem with her."

"Maybe you're just jealous," Robin said.

Steve’s eyes snapped to hers. Did she somehow know? He hadn't really been able to explain to Robin about what's been going on because he couldn't exactly tell her when he didn't know himself. . .especially about Eddie. No, she couldn't, right?

"What?" Steve asked.

"Eddie suddenly became your best friend while I've been busy getting closer to Vickie, and now you no longer have that. Plus, you're lonely, and you totally wish that you could have what we have," Robin said.

"Right, yeah," Steve scoffed.

"What did you think I meant?" Robin asked.

"Nothing, Robin," Steve said.

"Oh my God!" Robin exclaimed with wide eyes, and Steve cursed. "You have a crush on Rebecca!"

"Yeah, Robin. You got it. That's it," Steve scoffed again.

"Then what is it? I mean, judging by the way you're acting and your absolutely annoyance of Rebecca, I'd say you're jealous that she's with Eddie and you're not," Robin said and then snorted. "God, I make myself laugh sometimes. You're like the straightest man alive."

"Oh, yeah, Robin. You got me! I'm totally in love with Eddie! I want to kiss him and hold him. I totally want to marry him and have his babies," Steve rolled his eyes. "I wish I was Rebecca."

With a jolt, Steve realized that what he had said hadn't been sarcastic at all. He wanted all those things with Eddie. He thought about how he was with the kids, how he rants, how passionate he was, and despite how scary he pretended to be, he was the softest man alive, especially when he was with Steve. He missed being held by Eddie. He missed talking intimately with him, and he hated that Rebecca probably got to do all that with him. Except that Rebecca and Eddie hadn't known each other that long, so how intimate were they being? Does she know about his asshole of a father and Eddie's fear of turning into him? Does she share the same fear with him that Steve does about his own father? He wonders if she holds Eddie after a nightmare the way Steve used to do but now no longer gets to. He hates the idea of all of that and he hates being reminded of it when he hears them fuck through the walls. Oh god.

"Except that I - ," Steve swallowed thickly, looking at Robin with wide eyes. "Except that maybe - "

Robin stared at him, her eyes wide and her mouth dropping in shock. Just as Steve was working up the courage to finish that sentence, the bell above the door rang as a customer entered. Steve stumbled as he went to greet the customer, almost blurting out the old Scoops Ahoy greeting as he did so. Steve could feel Robin's eyes on him all day, but she didn't push him to talk about it. He wondered if somehow he had always known about it but chose to ignore it. Steve’s thoughts turned to Vickie and remembered how adamant he had been about her liking girls. Did he somehow know then?

"Steve, are you even paying attention to me?" Dustin asked.

"What? Yeah, yeah, you were going on and about how cool Rebecca is," Steve said, rolling his eyes. "I still can't believe Eddie introduced Rebecca to you guys without talking to me."

Several weeks later, Steve was currently driving Dustin to Gareth's house for their Hellfire meeting. He didn't know why Eddie couldn't drive Dustin, but he supposed it was so he could make out with Rebecca in the back of Eddie's van.

"Why are you acting like you and Eddie are divorced parents?" Dustin asked.

"I'm not! I'm just saying a heads up would be nice!" Steve exclaimed.

"What's your problem with Rebecca, anyway?" Dustin asked.

"Nothing!" Steve yelled, gripping the steering wheel. "It's just - he's been spending all his time with her, and even though we live together - I, uh, I miss him. I miss him, okay?!"

"Well, shit, that makes sense," Dustin said, and then he grinned. "I knew you would like him!"

"I'm obsessed with him, and I definitely would call him my best friend," Steve said.

"Well, you know, he misses you, too," Dustin frowned. "He says you keep turning him down when he asks if you want to hang out with him and Rebecca."

"Have you seen them together?" Steve asked.

"They are pretty gross," Dustin said, scrunching up his nose. "But he said he's in love."

"He said that?" Steve asked, feeling his stomach drop.

"Yeah," Dustin said. "It's pretty obvious."

Steve had dropped Dustin off to find Eddie's van in front of Gareth's house. Eddie was leaning against the van, Rebecca pressed up against him as they laughed and kissed. They broke apart, and Eddie's eyes caught his. Eddie threw up his hand to wave, but Steve quickly backed out without looking at him and drove away. A few weeks later, Eddie announced that he was moving in with Rebecca.

"What?" Steve asked.

They were standing in the kitchen, looking for something to eat for dinner when Eddie dropped the bomb.

"Yeah, I figured it was time for me to move out. I mean, your parents probably are going to come back, despite what you think," Eddie said.

"They are definitely not coming back," he scoffed. "Do you not like living with me?"

"I don't think you like living with me," Eddie said.

"I love living with you!" Steve exclaimed.

"It doesn't seem like it," Eddie scowled. "Ever since I got with Rebecca, you've made it pretty clear that I've made myself too comfortable."

Eddie couldn't be this clueless, could he? Hell, Steve was pretty clueless for the longest time, so maybe he was.

"I miss hanging out with you, Eddie. . .without Rebecca!" Steve snapped, and he couldn't stop what happened next.

Steve cupped Eddie's face and smashed his lips to his, pouring everything he had into the kiss. He pulled away, looking at Eddie, who winced.

"Yeah, Rebecca says it's not cheating to get your guy friends off and hug them, but she still doesn't like it. She says it's gross," Eddie said. "I'm sorry, I should have told you."

Well, Rebecca had been such a nice girl, and for a moment, he had been guilty about being jealous and about kissing Eddie, knowing they were together. Now, he didn't feel guilty at all. Now, he wanted to rip out every single strand of hair from her head.

"Is that what you think we've been doing?" Steve asked in disbelief.

"We're not gay, Steve, so of course, that's what we've been doing," Eddie said.

"Well, we're not gay but we're definitely something," he said. "I mean, don't you feel it?"

"No," Eddie said, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm in love with Rebecca."

Looking at Eddie right now, it felt like Steve had been transported back to that Halloween night in Tina's bathroom with Nancy telling him he was bullshit and that she didn't love him. It was the same punch to the heart that he had felt back then. God, Steve was stupid. He never felt as stupid as he did right now.

"I think - I think I'm going to take a nap," Steve muttered.

"Steve - ," Eddie started to say.

Steve walked out the front door. He didn't say where he was taking a nap, did he? Steve didn't realize that he was crying until he was halfway to Robin's, and his whole body was shaking so hard that he stopped the car for a moment. He managed to contain himself enough to continue driving. When he pulled up and got out, he could hear the sound of Robin's voice, as well as Vickie's coming from the backyard. Shit. He should turn back.

"Oh! I think I heard the sound of Steve’s car pulling up! Get your ass back here, Harrington!" Robin yelled.

It's too late now. Steve followed the sound of her voice and found her relaxing on the back porch with Vickie sitting between her legs.

"Hey," Steve said quietly. "Sorry, I didn't realize - "

"Shit," Robin said, getting up. "What happened?"

"I'm in love with Eddie," Steve said, his voice breaking.

Steve spent the next few days at Robin with Robin and Vickie working around the clock to try to lift his spirits. God, he loved Vickie. Just because she was Robin's girlfriend didn't have any obligation to be there for him. She clearly wanted to. When Steve finally returned home, all of Eddie's stuff was gone, and his key was on the counter. It nearly broke him again. There wasn't even a note.

"What did you do?" Mike asked.

A few weeks later, Nancy was away at Emerson, so Mike was now depending on him for rides to school with Lucas and Dustin. At least, on days when their parents couldn't do it. Today was one of those days.

"Why would you assume that I did anything?" Steve asked.

"Because you're you and Eddie's Eddie," Mike said. "He seemed pretty upset, and he was the one who moved out."

"Well, why would Steve be the one to move out? It's Steve’s parents' house," Lucas said.

"Besides, Steve’s not like that," Dustin scowled. "He wouldn't hurt Eddie."

"At least not intentionally," Lucas said.

"Steve hated people like us in high school," Mike said.

"And what reputable source are you getting that from?" Steve scoffed.

"Just. . .from people," Mike said.

"Yeah, I didn't have the greatest friends. They were assholes but I always tried to stop them from doing stupid shit. No one ever talks about that because people only see what they want to see. They see a guy who has everything. . .and they assume the worst about people like me because it's easier for them to believe that I'm an asshole rather than just someone who's just a person who tries to do what's right but who always been slow to realize what's important so he fails. Just like everyone else. I've always tried to stop Tommy and Carol, but the one time that I didn't. . .no matter how many times I apologize for that. . .it doesn't matter. It'll always be held over my head. . .no matter how many times I sacrifice myself and my health, I am never going to be enough," Steve said.

"You also broke Jonathan's camera," Mike pointed out.

"Oh my God! I apologized for that! I gave him a new one. I reacted out of anger, and I should have let Nancy handle that, considering. . .I don't suppose Jonathan told you why I broke his camera," Steve said.

"No," Mike said.

"Of course, he didn't," Steve said. "Look, I like Jonathan now, I even respect him and call him a friend, but he's not exactly a saint. . .There doesn't have to be a bad guy in situations like this. . .sometimes, shit just happens. Maybe you should get a ride from Jonathan from now on if you hate me so much. . .For the record, I never hated people like you in high school. Never."

"I don't hate you," Mike said softly.

"Then I don't get it," Steve said.

"Me neither," Mike said. "I'm sorry."

"Steve," Dustin said. "You're crying."

"I know."

"I'm really sorry, Steve," Mike said. "You are more than enough. I swear."

Mike had apologized profusely after that, and Steve had forgiven him, but it still left him feeling off. He wondered how many people still hated him for what happened in high school. Is that why Eddie's friends wouldn't come over to the house? Steve wondered how long he was going to be blamed for the actions of other bullying jocks, of not having the ability to know every single person in the school. No, fuck that. He was done apologizing. If people couldn't get past their own views of him, that their problem, not his. Steve was lounging out by the pool when Wayne showed up and sat in the lawn chair next to him.

"Hey, kid," Wayne said.

"Eddie's not - ," Steve said.

"I know, I came to see how you were holding up," Wayne said.

"I'm good," Steve shrugged.

"Well, that's a load of bull," Wayne said. "Something's eating you up, and I already know what it is."

"Eddie," Steve mumbled.

"Yeah. . .I hate that Rebecca," Wayne said.

"What?" Steve asked.

"Well, she's clearly homophobic, not that anyone can see that. Not even Eddie," Wayne sighed.

"That's because - ," he started to say and he quickly cut himself off.

"Yeah, I know. . .I know my boy, I was hoping he'd come to terms with himself and come to me when he was ready," he sighed again, and then he scowled. "She can say whatever she wants to me, but when she makes remarks like that towards Eddie. . ."

"You just want to rip all the hairs out of her head?" Steve asked.

"Yeah," Wayne replied with a snort. "I don't know what happened, but you were better for him than she was. Don't look at me, like that, I've seen the way he looked at you and the way you looked at him. There's something still there."

"Yeah, I don't think so," he said.

Wayne sighed and stood up, pulling Steve up to his feet.

"No matter what happens, you're my boy, too," Wayne said. "I can never think you enough for doing what you did for me and Eddie. You're a good kid. Don't give up on him. He'll come around."

Wayne pulled Steve into his arms and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," Steve whispered.

Wayne ended up being right. A few weeks later, Eddie ended up in his doorstep in the pouring rain. Steve had stepped aside to let him in, but Eddie had quickly turned around, muttering under his breath. Steve chased after him, the rain soaking him immediately. He grabbed Eddie's arm and turned him around.

"I want to come back," Eddie said.

"What about Rebecca?" Steve yelled over the thunder, and the pouring rain.

"I broke up with her," Eddie said.

"Why?" Steve asked.

"She's not you," Eddie said.

"What are you saying?" Steve asked.

"I'm saying that I'm in love with you!" Eddie said.

Steve smiled, despite the fact that the rain was ruining his hair and that there was a definite chance that they could get sick tomorrow. There was a dreaded weight being lifted off his shoulders now.

"I'm in love with you, too," Steve said, moving towards Eddie. "Wait. What are you doing? Stay still."

"Nope! No way! There's no way I'm going to be a fucking cliche!" Eddie yelled as he ducked away from Steve’s arm.

It took him a minute, but Steve laughed when he realized where Eddie was coming from.

"Come on, Eddie! Give me a kiss!" Steve yelled.

"Nope!"

Eddie dodged Steve’s arms again, bobbing and weaving in Steve’s front yard. Steve ran after him, trying to stop him from getting to the front door.

"Eddie!" He giggled.

"I am NOT kissing you in the rain! That's too much!" Eddie shrieked.

"Oh, come on, you already told me you loved me in the rain. You're halfway there!" Steve said.

Eddie slipped in the mud but managed to get caught in Steve's arms. Steve squeezed him and smiled down at him.

"Ugh. . .don't you fucking say it, Harrington," Eddie said.

"Looks like you fell for me," Steve grinned. "I'm going to kiss you now."

"Don't you dare!"

Eddie didn't stop him when Steve leaned down and kissed him. In fact, he returned the kiss with a furious passion. Steve broke away, laughing.

"You're a fucking cliche, Eddie Munson," Steve said.

"Gah!"

The next day, Steve was right. They both got sick, but they both felt like it had been worth it. Wayne, Robin, and Vickie immediately came over to nurse them back to health. Plus, Steve was pretty sure they wanted to hear the story in person and get Eddie's stuff back from Rebecca. The three of them had laughed so hard when Steve told them how Eddie ran from him in the rain. Robin plopped down on the edge of Steve’s bed, Eddie lying next to him, as Wayne and Vickie went downstairs to make them some soup.

"Yeah, so, Rebecca is definitely homophobic," Eddie revealed.

"I fucking knew there was something about Rebecca that I just didn't like and it wasn't just because the slutty little tart was trying to steal my best friend's man," Robin said.

"You hear that, Stevie? I'm your man," Eddie said, flashing his dimples.

"Yeah, baby, you are," Steve said before sneezing so hard that his head hit Eddie's.

"Ow!"

Wayne and Vickie came back with two trays of soup. They laid them down in front of them, Wayne tucking in both boys and brushing their hair back.

"You boys eat your soup and don't worry about a thing. We're going to get Eddie's stuff," Wayne said.

It didn't seem like they were gone very long, but it could have been because Eddie and Steve had nodded off as soon as they finished the soup. They woke up to the three of them moving Eddie's things into Eddie's bedroom. Robin was carrying a box, bloody tissues hanging from her nose.

"What the hell happened?" Steve asked, rubbing his eyes.

"Well, Rebecca wasn't too happy about us trying to take your things, so she put her hands on Vickie and called her the 'd' word," Robin said. "I had no choice, really. I had to punch her."

"It was so sexy," Vickie said.

"I brought you back a trophy," Robin said and dropped strands of strawberry blonde hair onto the bed. "Don't worry, I left behind most of it."

"Damn," Eddie grinned. "Go, Buckley. Thanks for doing all of this."

"Don't worry about it, kid. You boys just focus on getting better. No more kissing in the rain," Wayne said.

"I told you nothing good comes from kissing in the rain," Eddie said to Steve.

Wayne rolled his eyes and gathered up the soup trays, taking them out of the room.

"I'm glad you guys figured out your shit," Robin said as she put away Eddie's things. "Although, for the longest time, I didn't know there was shit to figure out."

"I'm sorry that we were so clueless," Steve said with a grin.

"Ah, you're forgiven. Easily," Robin smiled.

"Still not gay," Eddie said.

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. "We've admitted that we're in love with each other. How are you still in denial?!"

"Sorry, sweetheart," Eddie cackled. "I thought I was being funny. We're a little gay."

"Do you guys not know what I am?" Vickie asked, squinting her eyes at them.

"Uh, a redhead?" Eddie asked, and Robin snorted. "Unless. . .you're not?"

"Babe, did I not tell them? I could have sworn that I did," Vickie said as she helped put Eddie's clothes in Steve's drawers.

"I don't think you did," Robin said.

"Well, I'm bisexual. I like men and women. . .OH, CRACKERS!" Vickie yelled as she accidentally closed her thumb in the drawer.

"Crackers? What's a cracker?" Steve whispered to Eddie.

"Maybe it's someone who's both a man and woman?" Eddie asked in confusion.

"Maybe it's someone who's got no gender at all," Steve said, snapping his fingers.

"But why would they be called crackers?" Eddie asked.

"Because crackers have no gender," Steve said.

"Makes sense," Eddie said.

"Does it?" Robin asked. "What's wrong with you?"

"Crackers also have salt, and tears have salt in them," Steve said.

Robin frowned and pressed her hands to their foreheads.

"Wayne! Their temperatures have spiked!" Robin yelled.

"I found the medicine!" Wayne yelled!

"We'll talk about it again when you guys are feeling better," Vickie giggled.

The next day, once their fever had broken, they had talked about it at great length. . .about what it all meant for them. Steve was curled up on Eddie's chest, running his hands gently over his scars.

"I bet Jeff never got this far," Steve said.

"No, not even close. That was just lip hugging. . .oh my god, I can't believe how dumb I was," Eddie laughed.

He sighed as his boyfriend pressed kisses into his hair. Steve giggled. Boyfriend.

"Lip hugging. . .it's cute," Steve said.

"So, why did Dustin tell me that I need to kill of Mike's character?" Eddie asked.

"Oh, Mike was just being an asshole teenager, and he was just being protective of you," Steve said.

"Dustin said he made you cry," Eddie said.

"Oh, I mean, yeah," he said. "But it's fine, you don't have to kill his character."

"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't at least try?" Eddie asked. "God, I'm so fucking lucky."

It was the first time hearing it come from Eddie's mouth. He climbed up and straddled Eddie's wasn't, kissing him deeply. It felt so much more real now that they were no longer in denial. The walls they had put up were falling down around them as they fell into deep acceptance, wrapping up in each other's warm embrace.

[pizzabox-box]

Ah this is cringe as heck for me, but screw it, the last ask you got about a person not feeling much sympathy all for Peppi-No really was great, kudos to the OP of that comment since it really got me thinking, why even if I agree what the dude is doing is awful... I actually feel pretty fucking bad for him XD.

Like, I think we can all agree we've done shit in our lives that wasn't great, and that doesn't diminish the harm done or the fact other people have gotten hurt from our own stupid decisions. I also just think sympathetic villains are so interesting. (when done right, and hell you could argue even if he is the protagonist of the DMW AU, Peppi-No is a bit of an anti-villian) it really makes you think about the fact its so normal for people do try to avoid the consequences of their actions. I'm sure everyone has done something bad and instead of admitting fault have doubled down and tried to save face because they were SURE they could "fix" it without getting hurt from it.

Sure most of the time, (...I hope) its not as bad as murdering a person and taking on their identity... I think there is something really human about wanting to not get hurt, and feeling like shit about regrets we've had.

I think that Peppi-No even if what he doing is wrong, still... I dunno I can empathize. I mean.. he's sooo sowwy 🥺, its kinda pathetic, like a more extreme version of a puppy that just destroyed something important to you. Like "awww... you asshole, you're so cute though but goddamn it..."

I both am loving the angst of this AU and know its going to be so cathartic to see Peppi-no finally deal with his lie blowing up in his face and suffering MORE >:). I feel sympathy yes but I also love angst hehe.

(sorry if that wasn't super well worded? I don't normally send things like these >//>)

I assure you, it’s not cringe! It’s nice to see both sides voice their opinions!

Personally, I’m pretty divided on how I feel about Peppi-no. Part of me wants to strangle him for what he did (and what he might still do*cough* ), but at the same time, he’s,like you said, a sad, pathetic "sowwy" puppy, and I can’t help but feel bad for him.

When he took a piece of Peppino, he may have gained a conscience but not emotional maturity. He’s like a kid who just realized he fucked up in the worst way possible and is terrified of the consequenses. And fear can drive people to do terrible things, after all. Before that, his entire existence was just scrambling around, making pizzas out of whatever he could find: pigs, other clones, pizza monsters. He ended many lives, that but never faced any sort of repercussions. Never got a chance to learn "murder bad" ,

Then he takes a bite out of one of the kind Peppino—bam! Conscience, coherent thoughts, and memories of the guy he killed flood into his head. Can you imagine the whiplash, the shock, the stress? I certainly can’t.

Obviously, I’m not some dough doppelgänger pretending to be someone I killed. That would just be silly… no, really, I’m not.. But I can relate a little to what Peppi-no’s going through.

And let’s be honest, how many of us would have the absolute balls of steel to admit we killed someone’s friend in cold blood? Sure, it’s the morally right thing to do, but… you know. I’m not sure I could. (Once again purely hypothetical scenario)

Peppi-no's actions are unexcusable, he should know better than this by now, but at the same time you can kinda understand why he acts the way he does.

[impactrueno]

I saw your twt about holding back on telling stories with serious and deep tones and it reminded me of an issue I had a while back. Im a south park fan and I loved reading deep analysis of the characters. and south park being south park, people dont take it seriously and think its just funny so it doesnt deserve deep analysis like other forms of media. I always came across comments saying "its not that deep" or "doing all of that for south park" and I used to hate that so much because why are you commenting that under the authors post? In media there is like a "spectrum" of how deep you are in it as a fan, and it doesn't make you less of a fan if you like to binge watch the show when you feel like it because its funny. Someone who makes fan fiction and psychoanalyses the characters doesnt make them a better fan than you. I hate "it's not deep" because it is that deep to me, I enjoy it, but it dismisses critical thinking and discourages deep discussions about our interests. I want to learn more about the turning point for eric cartman and the friendship dynamics between the main 4. I want to read psychoanalysis of the characters and understand why they do the things they do. I loved reading fan fics with an author that understood how the characters work and put them in situations while making it believable. Whether the content was deep and serious or lighthearted and silly. I don't see those as cringe at all. What I see as cringe is trying to downplay someones time and effort. you dont care for it. cool, just dont make it our problem.

I believe in recent years, this cringe and its not that deep mentality is linked to media literacy/reading comprehension issues. On top of the fact, that fandoms right now has been "normalized", so alot of mean and rude kids and adults are in this space not having a mature and respectful conversation and discussions, as well as zero fandom etiquette. (I understand the past wasnt this magical respectful place but this behaviour has increased compared to past years).

Please don't worry about making deep content, its super fun and there will be fans of what you write/draw that will definitely be into it.

GOSH anon you are absolutely right. cringe culture has done some serious damage to people's creativity and freedom of expression. doing things in earnest is now cringe to so many people (specifically that 18-21 age where they think they're better than everyone else and everything is cringe to them, image is everything) and they actually give you shit for it?? it's crazy. the most harmless thing in the world. whenever my hey arnold comics would leave my target audience on instagram i would get the meanest comments for no fucking reason, because i was taking hey arnold "seriously" (nevermind that hey arnold is probably the nicktoon with the most emotional depth and moments besides ginger but i digress) but hey at least i'm not the one losing my marbles over some random cartoon comic on the internet.

i think rudeness in general has been too normalized not just in fandom, but in social media in general. it's sad. the only thing you can do about it is be kind as much as you can to counterbalance it. i'd like to think that rubs off on people just like how being rude rubbed off on them.

i said that thing about holding back because i'm admittedly too hard on myself sometimes. no one is calling me cringe or making fun of me for what i do, thankfully, people have been super cool and supportive. and it means a lot to me because i'm very earnest about everything i create, even when i try to hold back. i literally cannot help being myself. it's all i know how to do. i'm just glad i was able to grow a platform where i'm free to be openly passionate about the things i like, talk about them and why i like them, the little things that i find fascinating, the emotions they make me feel, all of that shit is awesome and i wish more people did that.

[princeloww]

-Campbell and his mother used to be super close, especially when he was young and before his illness became obvious. Whenever he started struggling and becoming harder to manage, I think a rift was created in their relationship -- particularly because I think his mother blames herself for Campbell's issues. Campbell's dad says that she's worried sick. She's literally made herself unwell with worry for Campbell - yet we never once see her visit. Maybe she can't bear to, because despite loving him so much, she feels responsible for his illness; a guilt that accidentally pulls Campbell even further away from her, because it comes across as being ashamed of him. She pulls away and becomes a shell of herself because she's so worried and worries that she did something wrong to cause his illness - which leads to Campbell also pulling away, for obvious reasons.

-For some reason when I'm writing her I always imagine her a bit like Francine? I always write her with dark curly hair and I have no idea why. Since she's literally made herself ill with worry, I imagine she's a bit frail and not herself half of the time. She's eaten up with guilt over what she perceives as a parental failing, to the degree where she's sick and barely herself. In one of my fics, I wrote in a specific detail that she would often pretend to watch the TV, while just zoning out in that general direction, because she's so lost in thought. Campbell basically calls her a loony as well, for the aforementioned sick with worry thing - so maybe she does display some traits of mental illness?? Because he would know what he's talking about, really

-Especially in the play, Campbell has very clear issues with his father. He literally shouts at him to fuck off (or is it fuck you? not sure) in the play. There is definitely major tension there, and I get the vibe that while his dad might be well-meaning, he completely misunderstands Campbell's disorder and doesn't make any effort to understand it. I think this leads to further stress and conflict between them, and therefore more stress for Campbell's mother. It's a sticky situation, when someone's parents make no effort to understand or accommodate for their needs. Campbell's dad wants him to get a proper job and squash his dreams just like he did. Campbell is all about dreams. That shit is not going to end well.

-Campbell's dad is also just really mean for no reason in the play its so sad. I hate that guy. I imagine he has a bad temper, especially when it comes to Campbell's behaviour (possibly in the lead up to his hospitalisation) - so his temper and stubbornness combined with Campbell's mother's guilt would create tension between them as well, possibly causing disagreements WHICH, terrible cycle, would probably only fuel Campbell more. Leading to an entire dysfunctional, stressful situation that 1) can lead to a person being hospitalised and 2) can create even more misunderstanding and a lack of empathy.

-I think that really, Campbell's mother feels very deeply about him and has his best interest at heart, but due to the times and where they are (Glasgow in 1994) lacks the proper guidance on how to deal with that sort of situation.

-Also for angsty fanfiction reasons, on a less foundational note, I definitely think his parents fought a lot and really struggled to properly manage his disorder when he was still living at home. Something had to have gone on for him to actually be sent to the hospital. I know in the play it's the whole BBC Scotland thing, but - again, primarily for angsty fanfiction reasons - I think it's gotta be more than that.

-So, for summary, I think that Campbell and his mother used to be very close - but they've drifted apart because she feels responsible for his illness and thinks she did something wrong while raising him. This obviously alienates Campbell, creating a rift in their relationship - combined with the fact that she never visits, he easily gets the impression that she is embarrassed of him.

-And angst and issues follow idk im too tired to conclude this idk where im going. also this is all headcanons and mostly not based on actual facts. i am jumping all over the place to every possible conclusion

i have so many headcanons about campbell bains mother and you WILL be hearing about it

[blushblushbear]

Hey, I was wondering if you create headcannons for the Blush Blush boys. If so, I was wondering 👀

Can you describe how any of the immortal characters (Stirling, Seth, Reece?, Aki, Haru, Fuyu) would react if their SO/MC/Love interest reincarnates after they die of old age for example?

I’m a huge fan of reincarnation x immortal stuff, cause it gives off a happy ending and hope that their love will never die even if they’re reborn in a different time💖

I wanna start at the top by saying I think all of them freak out at least a little bit when they see their long dead lover seemingly up and alive again

I'll get into each one individually but needless to say, it's a bit of a shock to the lot of them

also I did a thing about The Immortals dealing with your death (that I will but a link to here later but right now I can't be bothered to shift through my many bullshit posts to find it atm OOPS SORRY)

(ps: love your stuff btw!!! <3 )

STARTING OFF

Stirling:

I think he's gone through this too many times and loves the drama of it all too much to ever have him claim that he will never love again after you (at least not forever)

but suffice it to say he doesn't think he'll ever have a love like you again in any of his life times worth of living he has left to get through

he also didn't become a vampire to kick the bucket quickly nor does he think he'll be headed in the same direction as you when he eventually does so he's in no particular hurry to 'follow you' as it were

so he has made his peace with forever longing for you and eternally mourning your passing a little bit all the time

until one day he happens to spot

well

you

I mean it can't be you but he knows that face

he knows that body

that aura, that smile

it's definitely you

your face was probably in the crowd at one of his competitions

he did loose points for how he fumbled when he clocked you

(but he still won don't get it twisted)

I think the moment his routine is done he b-lines it to his dressing room then directly to go find 'you'

he does find you in a crowd and nervously and suddenly asks if you'd like to go for dinner with him

like

now

right now.

how bout it??

you tentatively say yes and you two end up having the most awkward dinner of either of your lives

he's trying so hard not to flip out cause it's definitely you but also it can't be

can it????

BUT YOU WERE DEAD

he slowly begins to romance you

the new you

which is a lot like the old you

I think he's the handsome yet mysterious man who is romancing you and he doesn't fully let anything slip until one night you stay over and you find a painting of what is definitely but also so not you on the wall

cue him finding you staring at it and accidentally scaring you

only to calm you down then explain the whole sorted mess

and how he believes you are the reincarnation of his lover

I think no matter what there's going to be some push and pull moving forward

he has to decide if he loves you or just the idea of you that acts as some theoretical replacement for his great dead love

will there be a happy ending??

will love prevail??

can love continue on even after death??

only time will tell...

but he does not intend to give up on you that easily...

Seth:

you being reincarnated is actually his doing

against his best laid plans, you didn't end up in hell with him when you died

I think he could only stand it for a few months before he called in a favor and got your soul entered into the reincarnation program

that DOES mean he'll have to wait 18+ years to even attempt to make a move

and also that you won't remember him

or much if anything of your previous life

which means there's a 50/50 toss up that you'll be happily taken when he can actually find you again

he doesn't watch over you as you grow cause that's too creepy

but he does put some lesser demons/spirits to keep an eye on you and keep you safe

he doesn't want to have to start this process all over again

nor does he know how many otherworldly favors he can rely on for this

I think he 'randomly' bumps into you one day when you're old enough and he starts flirting and asks you out

I think whether or not he tells you about the whole deal will depend on how things play out

he doesn't necessarily see the need to but on the other hand

maybe it's worth you knowing

also it's the biggest romantic move he ever pulled

also honesty is nice in a relationship

but all in all it's just nice to have you back again

where he can see and hold and kiss you

also he probably had to call in a favor just to get to the mortal realm in the first place

idk he's burning a lot of big favors for this meet cute to go down but it's worth it

Reece:

I think with Reece it's less of a reincarnation and more an alt time line version of you

one where you never met and you got to live your life without it being crash landed into by a space traveling cat boy

I think at first he meant to keep his distance

you're not HIS you after all

but he couldn't help but watch you just

exist

for a bit

he missed you

and I think one thing lead to another and he ended up bumping into you and you gave him that cute smile and he didn't mean to but he heard himself asking you for coffee before he could give it a second thought

and then before he could give it a second word you had said yes

and then he was just over come with joy cause you said yes to a date so excitedly and quickly

it all kinda just

happened

I think you have a wonderful first date and he spends most of it working up the courage to tell you everything and also just enjoying the date

but towards the end of it he finally fesses up

you guys had done all this before

well, a different version of you in another timeline/universe

but all the same

he has already gone down this road

and now he's just doing it again cause it's hard for him to stay away from you

but you are gone

were gone

are

in his version of things anyway

and this was fun but maybe...

maybe it should end here

one last night

where he got to tell you goodbye

(with a kiss)

but this is Definitely Not Dr Who bby--- something crazy happens at the end and the goodbyes are put on hold while you two go on Just This One crazy space adventure (that is totally not just this one lol)

CUE THE DOCTOR WHO THEME BEING PLAYED ON THAT CAT PIANO!

Aki:

OOO BOY IS THIS DUDE IN DENIAL

no grace, no decorum, no hesistation

he sees your face in a crowd and runs up and hugs you and begins to tear up as he says how much he missed you

meanwhile you are in the iron grip of big excitable fox man (time has past since your death and he's grown some) whom you definitely don't know and also he's calling you bunny

you try to tell him he's got the wrong person sorry

BUT HE IS HEARING NONE OF IT

cue him telling you all about your lives together and talking you to the home of the autumn clan and doing anything and everything to desperately rejog your memories

if you do get your memories back then commence Aki's great romance two electric boogaloo

but if you can't then he will get so heart broken

he'll ask you to still stay

let him learn the new you

let him show you the him you forgot

let him love you again

please don't leave him

(if you do decide to leave low key Aki will follow you and try to check in on you from time to time)

(if not out right sneak stalk you)

(please accept his feelings reincarnated love-chan)

Haru:

shocked, stunned, shook

he sees your face from across the bar and he can't believe it

like actually he can't believe it

he ends up staring for a really long time

then he's just watching you from different spots around the bar

getting better looks at different angles

keeping the biggest eye on you and drinking you in

yep

it's definitely you

but it can't be

they must just look like you

a lot like you

like exactly

must be a distant relatives

genetics are crazy

or maybe you had a love child...???

NO.

no no no no

you were Haru's loyal mate until the day you died

you wouldn't

and even if you did, you def would've invited him to the threesome

(one of the reasons he loved you so much)

whatever

he must be so drunk out of his mind and crazy lonely that he's seeing shit

whatever, they're hot and he could use a you substitute in his bed (not like he's had many people in his bed after you anyway-- too heart broken)

so fuck it, fuck them (like, in the sex way not the angry way)

so he goes up and starts hitting on them and when they turn around

oh no

they're definitely you

right down to the look they're giving him

I won't lie, he panics and bolts

he can't stop freaking out about last night all the next day

so he goes to that bar again and low and behold there you are again

Haru can't tell if he's relieved or more panicked by that

but still he has to dig some more

so he goes back over, trying the whole time not to absolutely loose it

gives you some line about being overcome by your beauty which is why he left in a panic haha

but seriously he'd love to get dinner with you sometime, here's his number, give him a call

oh also what's your name

he again can't tell if he's happy or freaked when you do actually call

he spends the whole dinner gently prying for info and just generally vibe checking to see if they're like his dead lover

and they really are

they definitely look it

and thus begins Haru's new torment of being so fucking CONFLICTED

he's so freaked that it's like you're alive again but also so happy to have you by his side

I think there's a lot of push and pull until he spills the beans

and then even more after he does

this is about to be the messiest relationship of Haru's life

which is saying something

BUT HE CAN'T NOT, IT'S YOU

Fuyu:

Fuyu bumps into you by chance and he's the most torn up about it of the lot of them

and visibly so too, he can't hide his feelings on this even a little bit

I think he is the quickest to tell you the whole thing

and also he calls you by the name of your past life (which may or may not be your name now)

he really does believe you are his heavenly gift sent back to him because your love is so fated

he takes some time getting used to

it's actually funny, this is the exact opposite of who you two were the first time

he's so unbelievably open to you from the word go

he bares his heart and feelings so much

you look so much like yourself before you left him, he can't help it

you were his safe place that he let all his walls down around

he can't put them back up now

his heart is beating open and bloody for you

he doesn't try and play it cool, he doesn't beat around the bush

he let's you know who you were to him

ARE to him

and asks you to be his once again

steam rolling you with love

and then waiting 'patiently' (not patient, he's sitting by like a puppy who wants a bite of your food) for you answer

it's quite a situation you find yourself in, isn't it

[ozonecologne]

.

[skyview-temple-spring]

Zelda fandom stop misinterpreting Zelda's "I'm still your Zelda" challenge

[statementlou]

.

[purpurussy]

love you guys so much but I wish I could make it illegal to discuss twitter drama on here. because every time I hear anything about that wretched website it pisses me off

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

sorry for only saying this type of shit lately but i kinda wanna drive a car straight into a brick wall at the highest speed possible

[a-thousand-wasps-in-a-trenchcoat]

God DAMN do Lore Olympus Antis not know how to properly tag their shit

[yesokayiknow]

cannot believe that in 2007 the eighth doctor adventures writers just decided to put toxic yuri in their show. they did that for me