#I take the toy away but Mocha tries to bring it out to play again but then other dog just snatches it up >:(

[dootznbootz]

Does anyone know how to teach your dog how to stand up to bullies?

[brattyfics]

Stairway to Heaven

Summary: Angel tries to convince his girlfriend to have sex in a stairway. Pairing: Angel Reyes x Black OC Warnings: Public sex. Word count: 1.2K A/N: I don’t love this but I’m posting it in hopes it will break this period of writer’s block (aka hating everything) I’m experiencing. Hope you all enjoy anyway.

Nola playfully swats at her boyfriend’s roaming hands that have been pinching and pulling at her for the past minute. Tired of waiting on the slow elevator, the two of them decided to make the trek up the stairs to her apartment on the fifth floor. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, Angel was drunk and feeling possessive, hanging all over her in the lobby because other men were eyeing her. To keep confusion down, she had pulled him by his hand towards the stairwell.

“Come on mami, please?”

She turns to see Angel pouting like a kicked puppy dog, big black eyes working overtime to pull her into his scheme. He apparently couldn’t wait another second to be intimate. Nola rolls her eyes at his dramatics, ignoring the dampness in her panties caused by his begging. Angel follows closely, rubbing his hardened length against her softness suggestively. She barely manages to muffle the moan that threatened to escape at his boldness, plump lip pinched by her teeth.

The young woman had known from the moment she arrived at the clubhouse her night would not be any easy one. Angel had eyed her frame darkly from his spot by the bar, both loving and hating her choice in attire. Smooth, thick legs and thighs peeked out from under her form-fitting dress that hugged every dent and curve. If he didn’t already know what she looked like naked, he’d have a good idea.

Angel didn’t usually get jealous at the clubhouse. He knew the guys and they respected his relationship. The alluring dress, the extra drinks he consumed, or a combination both fueled the little green monster in him regardless.

Every time she stood to fetch him a drink, he swatted her ass, relishing in the ripple effect it created. When she tried to pass him, he pulled her down into his lap, bouncing his legs until she was forced to squirm in his lap to get comfortable. At one point his arms had wrapped around her midsection and pulled until they were flush against one another. She did her best to appear lady-like, crossing her legs while he poked at her hot center through his jeans.

It had been torture for Nola. She was normally the one playing games, pushing Angel to his limits. He enjoyed watching her slowly lose her composure, grinding down against him as subtly as she could. It was fun until she noticed Bishop watching them, a sly grin on his face. She had turned to hide her face in Angel’s chest while he guffawed, calling even more attention to them.

Nola urged him to hurry up. He wasn’t the only one desperate for release. Drunk sex with her man was her favorite. She thought she would pull out her hair if he didn’t speed up and stop with the distractions.

“I’m trying!” He had the nerve to sound exasperated, breath tickling her neck as he spoke. “You’re the one holding up the process, mi dulce.” His teeth close around the shell of her ear, nibbling playfully. Flustered, Nola stumbles backwards into his embrace, eyes fluttering closed. Angel seized the opportunity, mouth latching onto her neck like a vampire. Instinctively, she pushed back against him, loving the way he groaned in her ear. She couldn’t believe the filth that spilled out of his mouth as he tried his hardest to seduce her into sex in a stairway. His slightly slurred, raspy baritone had her ready to bend over any way he liked.

Almost….and then her eyes opened. Bright white lights reminded her of their surroundings. Nola whined his name but he didn’t let her pouting sway him, hands continuing to inch up her frame as she tried to escape his hold. Angel gallops clumsily behind her once she gets free. She giggles as her heart races, knowing her teasing would only rile him up more. She makes it to the tread, hands centimeters away from opening the door that leads to her apartment’s hallway when Angel crowds her against the steel door. Their cat and mouse game had officially ended. He couldn’t wait any longer, surroundings be damned.

With a mischievous grin, he flips her dress up and over her ass. She gasps as the cool air hits her bottom half managing to both cool her off and set her on fire. She jiggles her ass at him playfully resulting in a heavy hand smack, the sound echoing off the concrete walls as the fat ripples. Excited umber eyes meet hazy charcoal. She’s stuck somewhere between feeling scandalized and wanting to drool.

Angel takes her lack of protest as permission to go a step further, pulling her bare ass back so that it rubs against his jean-clad crotch. He watches mesmerized as she rubs against him, looking over her shoulder with a defiant smirk. His fingers toy with the triangle of her thong pulling at it until it falls, stopped from hitting the floor by her spread legs.

He drops to his knees, eyes zeroed in on her slick center. Mocha skin surrounds rose pink flesh and Angel gets an eyeful as he kneads her ass. Sticky wetness surrounds her lower lips reminiscent of a glaze on a pastry. Angel doesn’t waste any time, diving into the wetness face first.

The first stroke of his tongue has her practically jumping out of her skin, clutching at the handle for support. Wet heat from his tongue and her center combine, setting her body on fire. He took a pause to speak, fingers caressing the skin of her sides gently. His fingers move until they hold her tummy, supporting her because of her shaky legs.

“Relax, mami. I got you.”

She felt wound up in the best way possible, muscles tense with excitement. Angel's tongue sloppily lapped at her pussy, each lash pushing her towards the edge. The hairs of his beard tickled her clit. Her stomach tightened and she closed her eyes, ears ringing as she tried her hardest to stay quiet.

Nola couldn’t believe she was being eaten out in a stairway. Anyone could come in at any moment and there wouldn’t be much they could do to hide it. The thought had her moaning aloud.

“Fuck baby...that feels so good.” She whispered underneath her breath, hips rolling back in search of more. “You eat my pussy so good, daddy.” That gained his attention. She whimpers when he pulls away again, spinning her around so her back is against the door. He hooks one of her legs over his shoulder and then instructs her to hold her dress, forcing her to watch as he devours her. She pants, chest heaving as he buries his face back into her center. Angel glared up into her eyes. If the sensation wasn’t already intense enough, the visual was totally overwhelming. Her head thumped harshly against the steel door. She couldn’t bring herself to care about the pang of pain.

One of his hands held her hip keeping her steady while the other kneaded her breast through the thin fabric of her dress. Her nipples pebbled as she intertwined her fingers through their hair. Silky strands in one hand and pillow soft coils in the other. Her eyes roll to the back of her head, one second away from tumbling over the edge.

Five floors down a heavy steel door opens and shuts. The pitter patter of heavy boot clad feet follow. Moans and groans continue above, Nola and Angel too lost in each other to notice. It takes several moments before either of them register the sound of someone screaming.

“Can I watch!?”

TAGLIST

@WOAHITSLUCYYLU @BRIANNAB1234 @SHEESHGIVEMEABREAK @BREAKINGNEWSIN-NO-ONEASKED @ANGELREYESGIRL @BLESSEDBOO @GLIMMERGLITTERGIRL @APANTHERINMYPASTLIFE @BROWNSUGARCOFFY @MARVELMAREE

[dokidokivisual]

Gochiusa BLOOM episode 6 impressions

Previously: 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1

Oh no, we are already halfway through the season! Time sure flies fast, doesn’t it? Anyway, let’s see what the episode 6 had to offer.

The episode opens with the titular “fluffle of rabbits” (which supposedly is an actual term for a group of rabbits in parts of Northern Canada, but honestly that just sounds completely made-up. I mean rabbits don’t even live in Nothern Canada, or are they? but I digress) surrounding Sharo.

Sharo’s costume and her holding a flyer is a direct callback to a scene from season 1 episode 7 “Call me Sister” where Sharo has encountered Wildgeese while distributing fliers for Fleur du Lapin. It’s not really explained in the episode, but this time Sharo is on the job to pass out fliers as well, but is tolerating the rabbits for the sake of Chino.

The fact that rabbits (other than Tippy, Anko and Wildgeese) kind of avoid Chino is also a previously established trait, namely in season 1 episode 6, but it’s not mentioned very often. However it’s interesting to rewatch that part of season 1 episode (06:00 - 06:30 and 08:20 - 09:00), because it establishes a metaphor which is crucial for understanding the current one.

Basically the rabbits rejecting Chino symbolize her lack of sociability (called komyusho  コミュ障 or “communication disorder” in Japanese). While Chino thinks that the fact that the rabbits don’t run away has to do with Sharo being present, it’s actually explained by her personal growth over the last year or so.

In fact the theme for the entire episode can be summarized as “growth”. It’s fitting that rabbits are also a symbol of growth... in numbers at least.

After the OP, the story suddenly switches to Chimame’s middle school as they decide on a natural look for their graduation photo album. It’s another reminder of the passage of time, and the fact that Chimame-tai are about to become high schoolers in a few months. But it’s still October, and at least the manga takes its sweet time to get there.

By the way this pose is similar to Chimame “victory pose” from season 1 episode 5.

Megu decides that her hair type resembles Sharo’s and decides to ask her for advice. It might be hard to notice with their usual hairstyles, but if you look at Clockwork Rabbit Sharo you can see the resemblance. Coincidentally Sharo is getting a haircut right outside her home, so Megu hides behind a fire hydrant. In the manga she hides behind the corner of a building which I guess didn’t make sense given the geometry of the location. Then again, how large is this fire hydrant that Megu can easily hide behind it?

Sharo and Chiya eventually do spot her, and start fighting over who gets to do Megu’s hair. It turns out that they both cut each other’s hair, even though they’re not particularly satisfied with the result. The point of contention seems to be them cutting the bangs in a straight line, which is called pattsun ぱっつん in Japanese. Koi has previously mentioned this concept in volume 3 chapter 2 titled “Pattun Horizon”, which was adapted as part of season 1 episode 10. In that chapter Cocoa has a sleepover with Chiya and Sharo, and gets a matching pattsun to commemorate the occasion.

By the way there is an entire character song about Sharo having her hair cut by Chiya and it’s called  空色サロン (”Sky-colored salon”). It’s a really good song from the recent Blend of Letters album so check it out.

In the end, Megu gets her hair styled by Chiya’s grandma, using the same “thing” (probably a brush) she grooms Anko with. This also includes perming her curls straight. Unfortunately we don’t get to see how it went, and the scene switches to Maya right after. By the way, this manga chapter is called “Megu loses her tornado” (メグ、トルネードを失う).

Meanwhile Maya goes to a hair accessory shop to cover up her ahoge (”idiot hair”). Rize also happens to be there (implying that she might also be preparing for a graduation album photo) and tries to help Maya. She seems to carry some sort of hair conditioner with herself, although Maya’s ahoge is too strong for it. In the end they decide to buy matching hairpins.

Even though Rize holds a yellow hairpin and Maya a purple one, the back of the packaging is identical for both and indicates yellow color (黄). This is probably a mistake. The barcode number 8/08 140 2/14 160 indicates Maya and Rize’s birthday and height respectively (similar to Aoyama’s bounty in episode 3). I wasn’t able to read the QR code but maybe it encodes something as well.

Later when Rize scolds Maya she flicks a finger at her forehead (called dekopin でこピン in Japanese) while calling her DekoMaya (でこマヤ). Rize is basically implying that Maya has a big forehead, however it only got exposed because of the hair decoration she put on.

Finally it’s Chino’s turn. Apparently Chino usually cuts her hair herself. However this time she notices Tippy looking unusually fluffy and it turns out it was Cocoa who trimmed his fur (which is normally also done by Chino). Since angora rabbits were bred for their wool, it grows very fast, so unlike most other rabbit breeds it’s necessary to regularly trim it.

Chino becomes resolved to let Cocoa cut her hair, which makes her quite surprised and happy. Like Sharo and Chiya before, Chino is willing to put her trust in Cocoa, which shows how much their relationship has progressed. Cocoa tries to imitate a hair salon beautician, in particular the phrase “kayui tokoro wa gozaimasen ka?” (”does it itch somewhere?”) seems to be a staple phrase among Japanese hair stylists. This might be how Mocha used to cut her hair back home. Chino comments that Cocoa’s hair has grown longer, however it doesn’t look much longer than in previous episodes when in manga it was obviously longer:

The theme of growing hair corresponding to growth of a person is explored here. Mocha has very long hair, and Cocoa is thinking of growing her hair just as long to overcome her sense of inferiority. However regardless of hair length, we still see Cocoa being as immature as ever. For example she offers to hit her with a pico-pico hammer (pikohan) in case she makes a mistake. This toy is commonly featured in Japanese variety shows, and even in videogames, in fact it was invented in Japan by Masudaya toy company in 1968.

As I mentioned in episode 4 review, in the manga Cocoa only finds out that Chino has decided to go to her school at the end of this chapter. In this scene Cocoa doesn’t know it yet, and Chino when asked about it says she thought about joining Megu and Maya in Sharo’s school. This causes Cocoa to inadvertently cut Chino’s hair wrong. In the anime the dialogue is changed completely, but the end result is still the same. Chino learns that it’s inappropriate to joke around in certain situations, and Cocoa learns that longer hair doesn’t necessarily make you a good oneechan.

In the end Cocoa and Chino cut each other’s hair and Takahiro reassures them they did a good job after all. In the manga this hairstyle was labeled as つるてーん (tsuruten) which I think comes from the expression つんつるてん　tsuntsuruten which is used for clothing which is too short, for example pants being so short that lower legs are exposed. Perhaps it’s implied that they cut their bangs too short and too much of forehead is exposed.

In the end we get to see Chimame-tai’s final form. Megu’s change is the most radical as she did get a straight perm after all.

Now onto part B. It’s based on the same chapter as the opening scene with rabbits and Chino, namely volume 6 chapter 4. In the manga this scene follows directly after, which explains why Sharo is still wearing Fleur uniform there.

The original bread festival happened in season 1 episode 7 and was also advertised via distribution of leaflets. Here’s the original poster for comparison:

Compared to the original poster, Rabbit House is now spelled correctly, and “Welcome come on” is now written in English. Also Tippy is now singing a weird jingle (papan-pan-pan-pan-matsuri) which brings to mind Cocoa’s bread-themed Rabbit House theme song from Sing For You as well as Cocoa’s character song パンパカパンのパンのパーティー which features “welcome come on” and I guess was inspired by Cocoa’s bread festivals.

Soon, Aoyama and Rin turn up, still chasing each other since the previous episode. However the previous episode omitted an important detail about Rin from the manga chapter, which is that she doesn’t really like coffee. In the anime it’s revealed later, but it explains why nobody seems to care about Chino’s “special blend”. In response Chino turns into delinquent mode, with Wildgeese on her head instead of Tippy. 

The way Chino speaks changes too. Normally Chino always speaks in polite register, using desu and -masu verb forms at the end of the sentence. This is one of the defining characteristics of Chino since she’s the only character in the series to do this even in informal situations.

In this scene Chino switches to plain register, ending her sentence with da ze, which is a plain copula da followed by ending particle ze indicating forcefulness. This sentence ending is well known from the catchphrase yare yare da ze of Jotaro Kujo from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.

When Wildgeese is replaced with Anko, Chino goes into a stupor. In the end it turns out Chino was playing along, and it was another of her “pranks”. Rize comments that Chino became just like Cocoa, perhaps recalling Cocoa’s breakdown in season 2 episode 10.

The bread festival is about to begin, and Chino still seems to be upset, even though Cocoa praises her (too late). Cocoa herself also seems to be unsure of her bread’s quality (especially compared to her sister).

For some reason, Sharo is in the mood for some coffee and orders Chino’s special blend. This causes everyone else to order it too. Maybe Sharo felt bad for Chino in the earlier scene and took one for the team?

Anyway, Chino’s coffee is very pretty and features a flower made from whipped cream (for which there’s an official tutorial how to make it). I guess this ties into the theme of BLOOM, however in the manga it was also a flower and it was probably written before the season 3 title was decided.

Sharo tastes Chino’s coffee and ends up in “paradise”. You might notice, with the field of flowers and flower wreaths it also fits into the BLOOM theme.

Seeing this reaction, Rin also decides to order coffee. Rize responds with “but you said you don’t like coffee”, but she never says this in anime. Unless it was supposed to be an off-screen conversation? Anyway, Rin also enjoys Chino’s coffee, and the “warmth” she put into it. Chino, who originally had a rather cold personality takes this praise to heart.

It turns out that there were many customers other than the regular characters (which doesn’t happen often in Rabbit House). Lots of children too, who seem to particularly like Chino as has been previously established. Chino shows them how to make latte art, promising to make a “fluffy rabbit” which might be a reference to the rabbit she draws in the ED of this episode.

Cocoa also has a self-reflection moment when she decides she doesn’t have to be like her sister because Chino looks up to Cocoa anyway. Cocoa explains that can’t distinguish Chino’s blends of coffee because they’re all similarly delicious to her. Considering she misidentifies one of Chino’s blends as instant coffee in the first episode there are reasons to doubt this confession. It works on Chino though who can hardly contain her happiness.

Despite all the praise heaped on her, Chino is still not sure if she’s changed. However as she comes out to take down the signboard, a lone rabbit approaches Chino and doesn’t run away.

Under the warm sunset colors, Chino gives a “warm” welcome to the rabbit, referencing the episode’s title (though it was just one rabbit, not a “fluffle” of them) and giving a conclusion to this arc. As I explained in the beginning, the rabbit is a symbol of Chino becoming more approachable over the past few episodes. She is also now seen as a grownup by those who are smaller than her, such as children and, well, rabbits.

So that was a “growth” episode of Gochiusa BLOOM, and the next episode (which is Halloween-themed) promises to be quite important as well.

Oh, and poor Rize’s pasta... Nobody seem to have ordered or even mentioned it. I’m sure it was delicious as well. Can we get a Rize appreciation episode please?

[sukunasxsub]

Monsta x Changkyun

Animal

By maroon5

Changkyun and I just lied in the dark on the bedded fur. His room a dark Victorian with wolf fur bedding and his bed low to the ground. A soft cushion of a bed and the size of a California king. The shape of a circle in the corner of his room. I sat up suddenly not wanting to over stay my visit. I got up and put my clothes back on. Changkyun sat up in bed and lit a smoke. I slipped my pants on and buttoned them back on. Slipped my tennis shoes on and then placed my jacket on.

“See you.” I waved good bye and my heart beat almost stopped. The pain in my heart over whelmed me.

Tears stung to escape my eyes. I sniffed them back inside after I had closed the door and left his house what I would call looked like a den.

Tears fell from my eyes as I drove home.

The love I feel for this man has no meaning to him. All I am is a toy and nothing less and nothing more.

I decided to go get coffee as it is early morning. I walked into fan cafe.

I ordered my drink and waited for it to be brought out.

“One white peppermint mocha frappe. Extra sweet..” a soft voice whispered in my ear. I felt gentle arms wrap around my shoulder and my coffee brought in front of me. Lips barley grazed my ear.

A smile creeped on my face. I looked over and saw Hoseok.

He looked worried but gentle and cautious.

He sat down in the chair in front of me.

“Hey Y/N, why is a beautiful girl like you sad on a fine Friday?” He said and grabbed my hand softly and played with my fingers softly.

I smiled and took a a sip of my drink.

“Well hoseok-ssi, that indeed doesn’t matter anymore I am starting fresh today.” I smile shyly and before I could move a strand of hair behind my ear. Hoseok bear me to it and placed a strand behind my ear and slightly touched my cheek.

“How bout we go to dinner at 8 tonight, meet me here at 7:30pm.” He winks and shyly waved goodbye.

My cheeks felt hot and red. I blushed and grabbed my drink and walked out of the cafe.

The strange thing is. I felt uncomfortable as if someone was watching me. I looked around and couldn’t see anyone.

A shiver ran down my spine.

A thought of Changkyun popped up in my brain.

“What if he found out?” I asked my self.

“Who found out what?” A husky voice rang in my ears ina. Beautiful sequence.

I looked up shocked to see the man I had just thought of. Changkyun.

“Changkyun.... what are you doing here?”

He stood in front of my porch of the my home.

I slowly took out my keys of my purse.

“Well... I came to see if you wanted to come over tonight?”

He didn’t ask it was more of a suggestion.

“ and you couldn’t text me?” I ask annoyed and pushed past him to unlock my door.

“Well that’s why I came in person so I can see you.” He said and jolted me in my tracks.

He pushed me against the door and leaned his body against mine. He softly growled sexually in my neck. My scent strong and lovely to his nose. My breath caught in my throat. Oh god how I love his touch and his attention. How I love the way he smells and makes me forget about the world.

Until I remembered Hoseok. My hand softly pushed Changkyun away. He froze and looked at me in confusion and shock.

“Actually Changkyun. Whatever we are or whatever we keep doing, we’re done. Whatever this is, it’s over, I have a date tonight with someone else.” I say and left him standing At my door. I closed the door in his face.

Was that to harsh? I thought.

When 7pm came upon I tried to stay strong all day. I felt like crying all day because I love Changkyun but it’s time to get over him. All he is doing to me is keeping me around for entertainment and pleasure and I’m much more than that.

I met up with Hoseok and he drove us to a fancy Italian dinner. He ordered some sort of noodle soup and I ordered chicken fettuccine.

I could barely eat and take bites though. My heart ached and I felt this wasn’t right. With all the memories I had with Changkyun....

“Is something wrong love?” Hoseok asked and sipped his wine.

I shook my head no and took a bite.

Oh my gosh it was so good but my stomach just couldn’t handle the guilt and pain of Changkyun.

“I’m so sorry Hoseok, I am not feeling as well as I was. Thank you for the lovely dinner I must go.” I say and lie down a 50$ bill. I felt bad. He’s a beautiful person but for some reason I fell in love with a dark and bad person.

I decided to clear my head and walk down the streets until I need the edge of the woods. My heart told me to just clear my head and take a stroll down in the abyss.

I step into the forest and played some music from my phone.

I sang to my self softly until I felt uncomfortable now. I turned off the phone and called out. “Hello?” As if I felt Someone was following me.

A growl pierced my ears and my hair on the back of my neck stood up.

A black/Carmel colored wolf snarled from behind the trees and came forth. I stepped back and it closer. I rushed and turned to run.

A push of my body fell to the ground and I scraped my hands and knees. A cry escaped my lips. The wolf forced me to roll over on my back and snarled in my face. It’s eyes a dark hazel that looked angry and forgotten. It’s paws clawed into my shoulder blood deeper through my shirt and it’s paws. When it smelt my blood it let go. Tears fell from my eyes. The thought of Changkyun keeps coming into my head. My head hurts and the fear of my life is at risk.

The wolf wimpered and stepped back acting as if it was scared. Maybe it didn’t mean to hurt me..... “shh shhh shhh. It’s ok. It’s ok. I am not afraid of you. I won’t hurt you.” I say as I slowly stood up on my feet and put my hand up as to steady the being.

It snarled again and turned to run away. I sighed in relief that I was ok.

For some reason I worried about the wolf more than I feared my life.

I found my way back to the road and I lived near by and walked to my house.

I see a figure standing at my door step.

“Changkyun...” I softly whispered to myself.

“Y/n, can we talk?” His deep voice that was beautiful to my ears sounded sad and lonely.

“Sure.” I say as I let him inside my house.

We were in the kitchen and I grab us a drink to mix and give him one of the cups. He takes it lightly and smiles softly. Was that a smile I saw for the first time?

“Y/n... I will never let you leave again. I need you to be mine. It hurts to much to know you left me alone for another man.” He steps closer to me. I roll my eyes and didn’t move.

He steps closer. His eyes a dark hazel.

I squint my eyes at him. I stare into his eyes as if the wolf was back in front of me.

“Changkyun....”

He steps closer this time he chuckles a little and grabs a hold of my waist and pulls my hips towards him.

I gulp in excitement and place my hands against his chest.

“How far do you think you’re gonna get by leaving my side?”

He growled softly at me.

He slowly removes my shirt as he did so I winced of pain in my left shoulder.

I look at it and but my lip. It stung a little.

He kissed my shoulder softly and with the wound a lick from his tongue for some reason felt better. He licked it a couple more times.

“This wound you kinda deserved for breaking my heart.” He whispered against my skin.

“It was you... you are the black wolf.” I say knowing it couldn’t be possible.

“Indeed my love I am that wolf that angrily attacked you on accident. In my defense I thought you were prey. I was gonna eat you. Your scent kills my lungs as if you’re a fried steak sometimes.” He licks his lips and leans over me now. I look into his eyes and I wrap my arms round on top of his shoulders and I run my fingers through the back of his head. I push his head forward a bit and I lean up to kiss him softly. His lips always so passionate and gentle but not this time. It’s passionate and loving. Deep and meaningful.

He growled again but this time like he was heated. He grabbed my thighs and wrapped them around his bottom torso around his hips. He walked us back to my bedroom while still kissing me.

He closes the door with his foot and lied me against the bed on my back and undressed me himself.

When we finished he crawled us up onto my pillows and this time he didn’t hesitate to bring me in and hold me.

A couple of bite marks lied across my shoulder blade, my neck, and thighs. He traced the marks with the tip of his fingers.

“These markings mean you’re mine. If any one or anything tries anything to you, they know the alpha is coming.” He snarled but lovingly.

He leaned over me and placed his hand against my cheek and kissed my lips upon his and pushed me against the bed. “I love you Y/n. You’re like a drug that’s killing me. You think you can hide but you can’t stay away from me. I can always smell you around. I’m always going to find you and I’m always going to love you.” He sighs and finally lies his head in perfect between my head and shoulder.

He stays silent and then i look around my room. “I can definitely say I prefer your home more than mine.” I giggle.

A chuckle escaped his lips and he looks into my eyes with his wolf like eyes. “Then, baby, come stay with me.” He stated. “And I’m not gonna take no as answer.” He runs his fingers through my hair and plays with my long strands. I smile and bite my lip with a nod.

[pseudocitrus]

just a wish // haise x touka

inspired by pare’s tweet 💖

~1400 words, no content warnings. excerpt:

"I'll just keep doing...what I've planned.”

She said it with such conviction. She's sure she had it, then. And she's sure she has it now.

Somewhere.

“Your coffee,” she announces. She brings it out to his table, a single-seater closest to the bar. She only delivers coffee like this to customers when he comes to visit. No one comments on it, not even Nishiki; though one day, Nishiki took the mug from her and ran it out himself. He grinned when he did it, which proved to Touka he knew exactly what he was doing, and both of them were surprised to find Touka visibly infuriated by it.

After that, Nishiki let her have her time alone with — him. As small and trivial as it was.

“Thank you for waiting.” She smiles at him, and pretends not to notice how hastily he sets his book down, how awkwardly he clears his throat. He always acts like he's only just noticed her. Like his stare hasn't been raising the hairs on her neck, and the warm goosebumps all along her arms.

"I'll just keep doing...what I've planned.”

She said it with such conviction. She's sure she had it, then. And she's sure she has it now.

Somewhere.

“Your coffee,” she announces. She brings it out to his table, a single-seater closest to the bar. She only delivers coffee like this to customers when he comes to visit. No one comments on it, not even Nishiki; though one day, Nishiki took the mug from her and ran it out himself. He grinned when he did it, which proved to Touka he knew exactly what he was doing, and both of them were surprised to find Touka visibly infuriated by it.

After that, Nishiki let her have her time alone with — him. As small and trivial as it was.

“Thank you for waiting.” She smiles at him, and pretends not to notice how hastily he sets his book down, how awkwardly he clears his throat. He always acts like he's only just noticed her. Like his stare hasn't been raising the hairs on her neck, and the warm goosebumps all along her arms.

“O-oh — thank you.”

At first, she turned away as soon as he thanked her. Nowadays, she waits until he takes his first sip (still too hasty, despite the heat). She waits until he purses his lips to lick them, briefly, and then beams up at her, in a way that he — that...Kaneki — never did before.

“It's delicious.” His smile is always too messy. No person is this happy just to receive a cup of coffee. “Thank you.”

She nods at him. There's always a moment, then, when she can make some kind of comment. The air between them almost seems to swell, to yawn open. She feels her chest ache with its hunger for words to pass between them.

How are you doing? How are your students? Isn't coffee nice on a rainy day like this? Though I hear tomorrow the sky should be bright and clear.

Usually, she just lets him watch her walk away.

:::

Sasaki Haise's life seems so idyllic. He has his playhouse, his playmates, his master, his new simple morals stacked neatly one atop the other. He has his bed, his toys, his treats. She imagines him eating the food on his given plate with enthusiasm, going to bed peacefully, waking up bright-eyed and ready for a new, uncomplicated day.

She has an instinctive knowledge of things that delight him, the same way someone might be aware that a puppy would love cheese and meat. Sometimes she can't help herself, and dangles these things in front of him, enticingly. She finds different cups and platters to furnish the photos he always takes of the plain black coffee she makes him; she furnishes his table and the nearby shelves with bestsellers and fresh flowers; she sometimes ties her hair up to better feel his gaze on her nape. Sometimes she sits at his table, briefly, briefly, and sometimes, most of the time, without even planning it, she laughs.

And one day —

“Oh,” he says, blinking. “Takatsuki Sen?”

She dropped it in front of him, exactly the way Rize did, with exactly the same flustered and embarrassed expression. Well, almost exactly. She isn't really as beautiful as Rize, but...

“Ah, yes,” Touka says. “I just started it. Do you like her too?”

He surprises her with a paler smile than usual.

“I’ve read their work,” he admits. He seems about to say something more, but then pauses, and then tries again.

“So you…you like tragedies, Manager?”

She’s too taken aback to lie. “No,” she blurts. “I…don’t.”

:::

What…am I doing?

Why did she do that? What was she expecting?

What did I want?

It’s so easy to get caught up in playing with him. Her heart races so fast that it’s easy to throw his ball and tug the rope in and out of his mouth and forget that the whole thing — the effort, the game, the point, everything — is fake.

Do you like tragedies?

He notices. After a week of Nishiki running the coffee out, he starts waiting by the bar while she works his order, even starts requesting complicated things, mochas and lattes that give him a little more time to throw lines to her.

“It’s been busy recently, huh?” he says, friendly, nervously, and Touka spares him a smile.

“Mmhm.” She yanks down the milk steamer.

“Maybe…maybe you haven’t really had time for anything? For — for reading, I mean.”

“Not too much.” She sets up a plain white cup and pours.

“Have you ever tried poetry?” he stammers. “I mean…reading poetry. It can be shorter…a little easier. It’s the kind of thing that’s good when you just have a couple minutes to yourself. Because they’re…shorter.”

“I don’t know much about poetry,” Touka admits, and he brightens.

“I could show you. I can bring some books in, if you’re interested. You can borrow them as long as you like. Or maybe — maybe we could…that is, there’s this…bookstore…”

He is staggering. Touka can’t look at him, suddenly. She blinks hard and stalls, slowly dolloping a swirl of foam into the cup, slowly pretending to search for a toothpick she finds very belatedly in her apron pocket. She draws a rabbit into the coffee, with incredible focus.

She knows what would soothe him immediately.

Yes. I’ll go with you.

To the bookstore, where they would walk together through the aisles, where they would peruse poetry and magazines and rabbit care manuals, where in exchanging and pointing out excerpts their hands would brush more than once or twice or a dozen times. She would make some comment about dieting to avoid a visit to some restaurant after; or, maybe, she wouldn’t. She’d find a place with a bar where they could sit side-by-side, some impossible place with stools so close they can’t avoid nudging shoulders and elbows and hips, some implausible menu where she would order cake and both of them would gulp it down and almost really actually taste some sweetness in it, an illusory sensation really just part of the glittery, too-rich, too-bright throbbing feeling between her ribs.

Yes. I’ll go with you. Yes.

She could do it. Playing a human isn’t that bad, she can play this too. She could join the cast of his world as the person he invites somewhere for Christmas, the person he follows into a love hotel room, the person who is the first to hear his voice in the morning.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

One day, he might even say it again. If you died…

And maybe it would mean something different this time. Maybe it would stick. Maybe she would forget that even now she’s dead to him, and here he is, not sad at all, but smiling at her with delight when she hands his coffee to him.

“I’m sorry,” she says. “I have plans.”

She tries and fails to make herself watch his face fall.

“Ah,” he says. “Well…of course. Maybe…maybe sometime next week? Or the week after,” he tries, when she is silent. “Really anytime.”

Yes. Yes.

“I…”

Just once wouldn’t hurt, right? Just once. Go. Go.

“I…can’t. I’m sorry,” she manages, only barely. “I…have plans.”

For a moment they both stand there, wordless, separated by the counter between them. The air between them almost seems to swell, to yawn open. She feels her chest ache with its hunger for words to pass between them.

Actually, sorry, I was mistaken. I’m free. I’m almost always free. I only really work when I know you’ll be visiting. Well, no, I work all the time really, but I would always get out of it for you. It’s a rainy day today, but what about later? I hear tomorrow the sky should be bright and clear.

Her mouth is dry. There are too many words for her to pick one to say first. And he is quiet too, maybe he wondering whether he should try again. If he asked just one more time —

“Touka?” Nishiki calls finally, from the back. “Everything alright?”

Was he watching? For how long?

“Yeah,” she says, more weakly than she wanted. “It’s fine.”

She looks to Nishiki, and then, finally, back to — him. He blinks at her, and then smiles.

“Touka is a beautiful name,” he murmurs. And then, before she can respond: “I’m, um…sorry. I’m very sorry for bothering you.”

“You weren’t,” Touka says. “I just…”

She trails off. “Just please come back again, okay?”

“Alright,” he says. He lightens, a bit, though maybe it’s just her imagination, just her wishful thinking. “I have a…an assignment, though. So it might…be a while.”

Her hands are trembling.

I’ll go with you.

She takes in a quivery breath.

“That’s alright. I’ll wait.”

[builder051]

Jax Beach story arc part 7

In which shit gets real for Mark and Troy.

_____

“I’ll take the salsa fresca omelet and a mocha,” Mark tells the waitress.  He smiles across the table at Troy.  “And the basic with scrambled eggs and white toast for him.  And a sweet tea.”

“Alright.  I’ll have that right out.”  The waitress takes their menus and leaves, and Troy returns Mark’s grin.

“Got me memorized?” he asks.  He’s impressed.  They’ve only been out for breakfast once before, the weekend Fran came to stay.  Troy had barely mentioned the fact that he has a regular order.

“Of course I do.  Though to be fair, it’s not that hard to remember.”  Mark laughs quietly.

“You’re learning me well,” Troy says.  “When in doubt, choose the boring option.”

“You’re not boring.”  Mark unwraps his silverware and lines up the utensils on the edge of the table.  “You just know what you like.”

“Yeah,” Troy says with a chuckle.  He holds Mark’s gaze.  “I know what I like.”

Mark laughs again.  “Me too.”

Troy continues to smile as he picks at the paper tape around his silverware.  He pins the napkin-wrapped utensils under his stump and tries to find the edge of the binding with is fingers.

“You, uh, want me to get that?” Mark asks, reaching out hesitantly.

“I got it,” Troy says.  “Thanks, though.”  He finally tears away the tape.  “I’m naturally left-handed,” he explains.  “Or, at least I was.  So anything fine-motor is, well, harder than it should be.”

“Oh, wow.”  Mark raises his eyebrows.  “You get along really well.”

“All I can do is try.”  Troy arranges his fork and knife on the table and spreads his napkin over his lap.  “You’re allowed to ask, you know.  If you want to.  I don’t mind talking about it.”  He folds his hand over his stump, then draws it back to his forearm, leaving the scarred flesh visible.

They’ve been seeing each other for almost a month now.  They’ve made it through the periods of obvious infatuation and small talk.  Mark’s seen him sick.  Seen him naked.  It feels like it’s time he knows the important stuff.

“I, uh,” Mark starts.

“You don’t have to,” Troy says quickly.  “I don’t want to go make it all awkward.  I just…” he shrugs.  “It’s ok.”

“Yeah.  I admit.  I’m curious.”  Mark lays his hand palm-up beside Troy’s stump.  “I don’t want to put you on the spot or anything.”

“Well.”  Troy slides his arm across the table so the nub where his wrist would be sits in Mark’s hand.  “I was in an accident when I was just about to turn 15.  A boat accident,” he says.  He’ll spill the details later, maybe when they’re not about to eat.  If Mark wants to know.

“Oh.”  Mark gently closes his fingers.  The sensation is odd on Troy’s stump, some patches oversensitive and others not feeling at all.  It’s not bad, though.  “That must’ve been really hard.”

“It’s kind of just part of the whole, now,” Troy says.  “I’ve had a decade to get used to it, and I still haven’t completely.”  He shrugs and laughs.

The waitress returns with their food, and Troy pulls his arm back to clear the table.  He picks up his fork and tucks into his eggs, but Mark ignores his plate and goes for his coffee instead.  “Troy,” he says quietly.  “You’re allowed to ask, too, you know.  About last night…?”  He trails off with a doubtful smile, as if he’s expecting negativity.

Troy takes a sip of his tea.  “It’s ok,” he says.  “Your buddy had bad timing, but I really don’t mind.  The fact that you helped him out, I, um.  I like that.”

“That’s, uh,” Mark waffles.  He uses his spoon to drown a puff of whipped cream in his mug, then takes a deep breath.  “He saw you leave.”

Troy’s heart sinks.  For himself, he couldn’t care less if someone saw him leaving Mark’s place and drew conclusions.  He’s not out and proud in all aspects of life, but he’s also not in denial.

He knows it’s different for Mark, though.  They haven’t talked about it at length, but he can see Mark’s walls up when they’re in public.  His kisses and kind touches are brief and clipped, like he’s always looking over his shoulder for someone watching.  Judging.

The way Mark worries at his lip and plays with his food, Troy knows this is bothering him.  It probably has been since last night.  Now Troy’s sorry he brought up anything about himself.  “Ok,” he says slowly.  “How do you feel about that?”

Mark takes a quick swig of coffee, then clasps both hands tightly around his mug.  “I…don’t know.  Todd was really out of it last night.  So, I don’t know if he remembers.  He said a lot of weird shit last night that I don’t know if he’ll remember.”

“Did you talk about it or anything?  This morning?” Troy asks.

Mark shakes his head.  “Naw.  He drank the rest of my orange juice and was on his way out the door when I got up.  He kept saying how much trouble he’s going to be in with his wife.”

“Yeah, I heard some of that last night,” Troy says.  He spreads butter on a slice of toast, but leaves it on his plate.  “Seems like he was real fixated on that.  So maybe he doesn’t remember.”  He hopes that will bring Mark a little peace of mind.

“That’s…yeah,” Mark says.  “He probably doesn’t.”  He cuts off a piece of his omelet and spears it on his fork.  “But that moment, right after you shut the door, he was so awake.  He asked who you were.”

“Oh.”  That’s more than Troy expected.  He still doesn’t care, but it’s clear that Mark does.  Very much.  His lips press into a thin line, and he’s yet to take a bite of his breakfast.  “What did, uh, what did you tell him?” Troy asks.

“I… nothing,” Mark admits.  “I told him to go back to sleep.”

“And he didn’t mention it in the morning?”

“No…”

“Then he probably doesn’t remember,” Troy says again.

“Maybe he doesn’t,” Mark says, his voice getting softer, but also faster.  “Or maybe he does.  Maybe he’s at home telling Mel.  Or maybe next time he gets drunk he’ll tell a lot of people.”

“Well, I guess that’s a possibility,” Troy says.  “I wouldn’t say a strong one, necessarily, but it’s…it could happen.”  He sets down the crust of his toast.  “Mark, I don’t mind.  If that’s part of what’s worrying you, it doesn’t bother me.”

“I know,” Mark sighs.  “And I…That’s what I thought.”

“Being in a new relationship is hard.  It’s weird,” Troy admits.  “But eventually, people are gonna know.  You can’t have it always be a secret.”

“I know.”  Mark picks up his mug again and toys with it before taking a tiny sip of the dregs of his coffee.  “I just…haven’t told anybody.  Ever.”

Troy had figured Mark still had one foot in the closet.  But he hadn’t figured he was still that deep.  “You met my sister, though,” Troy says, a little confused.  “You…haven’t told your folks?  Or…anybody?”

It doesn’t make sense.  Not 15 minutes ago, they were holding hands across the table.  Mark had agreed to meet Frances after a single text message.  But things are different when romantic relationships start to affect other area of life, the ones that are usually more stable.  It’s a lot harder to break up with a job than a boyfriend, and nearly impossible to break up with family.  At least not without feeling the consequences.

Mark slowly shakes his head.  A flush of embarrassment colors his cheeks.  “It’s…I don’t know.  It’s different with people I don’t know.  If my friends found out… Or my family…”  He shakes his head again.  “I feel like they’d be disappointed.”

“Oh gosh.  That’s…that’s gotta be tough.”  Troy offers his hand and his stump across the table.  “I don’t think they’d be disappointed.  You’re still you, no matter who you’re dating.”

Mark accepts and squeezes both.  “I know, I just…I just have, like, a block or something.  They’ve never said they wouldn’t be supportive.  I just don’t think they will be,” he sighs.  “This is…something kids deal with.”

“Sometimes, yeah,” Troy says.  “But it’s a big deal for everybody.  Everybody does it differently.”  He looks into Mark’s glistening eyes.  “But sometimes you just have to do what’s right for you, no matter what anybody else thinks.  Frances is the only one in my family who really gets it.  And nowadays, she’s the only one I let in.”

“I can’t walk away from my family,” Mark says.  “Or my friends.  That’s…that’s my whole life.”

“I’m not saying you have to,” Troy murmurs.  “Just, well, you can’t live for everybody else.  You have to live for yourself.”

Mark takes a breath and traces his thumb over the back of Troy’s hand.  “I don’t know if I can do this.  I don’t want to give you up, but I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Well,” Troy says.  “That’s a choice you’re gonna have to make.”  He pauses.  “I’ll be honest here.  I don’t want to have to sneak around.  But I’m gonna be here for you, if you want.”

[ispyblu]

Rubies Are Red, Azurite Is Blue

A super long oneshot based on @parfaitperi's super wonderful art of the Voltron lions as humans and @a-little-hot-mess's post that contributed to some details and a couple personality traits I can't explain how grateful I am to them to inspire me to write this oneshot thank you both of you! ----------------------- “Lance! Mijito, c’mon baby, we're going to be late!” Azura said as she tried not to yank on her nephew’s arm too hard. “But tía! I don't want to go see your friends, I want ice cream!” His exaggerated pouty lip and and the crocodile tears threatening to come out were trying Azura’s patience. “Hey hey hey hey hey, none of that now. C’mere.” She picked up the 5 year old and bounced him on her hip. “I promise you, as soon as we're done catching up we will go get ice cream, but you have to promise me you will be a good little munchkin, ok?” Lance kept his head down while his face kept a scrunched up look. “Hmm? I can't hear you…” she said playfully before attacking his little belly with tickles and raspberries. “Ahh! No! Stop Tía ‘Zura!” The little boy said between giggles. “Ok! Ok! I promise!” Azura stopped and readjusted Lance back on her hip. “Thank you. I promise you won't be too bored, Hunk is going to be there and the girls said they'd bring some kids your age too! Maybe you'll make some new friends!" Her little nephew gasped happily and proceeded to explain in great detail what games they would play and how excited he was. Azura just listened and answered any of Lance's questions. She loved her nephew dearly and even though she loved and cared for each of her sister's children, Lance was a kindred spirit . They were so much alike, always smiling and adapting well to bad situations, of course Lance was a child, but Azura was sure that once he was older he'd be just as attentive to those situations as she was. They walked for ten more minutes before finally reaching a sweet looking cottage like house, it was surrounded by a short white fence and different flowers surrounding the yard, rose bushes, hydrangeas some huge pink and white flowers that looked like they'd topple over with their own weight, different shrubs and baby trees were seen here and there scattered around the yard. Lance was amazed. "Wow! Tía, are your friends fairies? It's so pretty!!" Azura just laughed and pushed open the gate following the little cobblestone path to the front porch. When they reached the front door she placed Lance down in the floor, straightened his shirt, and took his hand before knocking. There was loud shuffling coming from inside and a muted "Katie Holt! You get your little naked ass over here!" More loud crashes and screams were heard until suddenly the door opened by a small little girl probably half Lance's age, in nothing but a huge fluffy green towel swallowing her slight frame. "Hello! My name's Katie! But auntie Esme calls me Pidge!" "Gotcha! You little gremlin! Hey Zura, how's the husband hunting going?" Esmeralda stood there with a wriggling little girl in her arms acting nonchalantly as if it happened everyday. Overcome with a sudden shyness, Lance stood behind his tía. "Esme watch your language there are children present!" Azura said with mock offense but shortly pulled a brilliant smile. Esme leaned against the door jamb returning the playful smile. "Aw, don't worry Pidgeon here has heard much much worse." The little girl stopped her escape attempts to smile and nod at their guests. Esme laughed and spotted Lance peek out behind Azura's leg. "Hey little guy, oh my gosh don't tell me this is Lance! What a handsome little man!" Azura saw Lance's chest puff out and he came out of hiding. "Thank you very much ma'am." He said with a wide grin. "Ooh and polite too! Maybe you could learn a thing or too from him Pidgey, but first let's get you some clothes. Come in you guys, sorry you had too see my little streaker, but she really needed the bath. Little stinker decided it would be nice to have a dirt war with herself before guests came." "Oh no, go ahead I remember babysitting Lance at that age, he hated wearing his diaper." She laughed while Lance tried to defend his honor. "And as for the husband hunting, god Esme! I haven't been any luckier than when we graduated! This is a total blow for my street cred! I was voted Most Likely to Date Her Whole Life, and since then I've been cursed to die alone!" Azura sat on the bar stool at the counter with Lance on her lap, hiding her face in her nephew's loose curls. "Damn, sounds like a bummer. Wish I was more help, but hard to give advice about relationships when you aren't into those kinds of things. You'd probably be better off when Amber or even Ebony comes." Esme said as she came out of a side door with dear little Pidge in green short overalls and little orange Crocs. Azura set down Lance so the two of them could play, they walked off to the next room where a chest of toys awaited them. The two older women talked a bit until the doorbell rang again. Esme quickly launched herself around the counter just in time to catch Pidge from opening the door again herself. "Nuh uh, my little sapling. Not this time." Together they both went to the door and Azura heard and smelled Amber before she saw her. The lovely heavyset woman peeked her head in before nearly dropping her huge bag of cupcakes and cookies on the counter to crush Azura in a hug. "Girl, I missed you so much!" Azura laughed as she returned the hug. "Honeydew I just saw you last week for Lance and Hunk's play date." Amber grabbed her by the shoulders. "And do you know how long I've suffered by not being in your presence?!" The girls were interrupted by a sudden cry of "Hunk!!!" And watched as little Lance launched himself in the stockier boy's arms causing them to fall over. Esme put down Pidge at that moment just in time for her to run over and join in on the pile of twisted limbs. The little kids were giggling and the older girls chuckled at their antics. "I'm so sorry I'm a bit late, I was waiting on the cupcakes to cool off long enough to frost them, and by the time they were good I realized I only had a few minutes to decorate them, pack them, and get Hunky and myself into the car!" She said as she took the said pastries out of the bag and onto a cute little display Esme had purchased just for the occasion. "It's worth it if it means I get cupcakes!" Esme said excitedly trying to snatch one, but unfortunately Amber slapped her hand away. "Wait until Ruby and Ebony come at the very least." Esme grumbled and clutched her 'injured' hand to her chest, perking up when the door sounded again. "Please tell me they carpooled, please tell me they carpooled.." she mumbled under her breath. Azura and Amber stayed in the kitchen to unpack the rest of the treats when the heard a loud groan come from the front. Esme came back a little later with her shoulders slumped and Ebony behind her with an older boy in tow. "I have never felt so loved before." Ebony deadpanned before cracking a grin a ruffling the shorter girl's hair. The other two joined them and more hugs were exchanged. Then Ebony introduced the boy with her. "This is Shiro, he's part of the Big Brother Big Sister thing I started with Alfor, you guys remember Alfor, right?" "You mean the adorable little twink from high school?" Azura asked. "How is he now?" "Take a look for yourself." Ebony then took out her phone that showed a picture of group of people and their 'little brothers and sisters'. Ebony stood with Shiro in front and at her side stood a broad shouldered, mocha skinned man with a goatee and light blue eyes. "Holy shit! When the heck did that happen?!" Azura took the phone from Ebony's hand and zoomed in on Alfor's face. "How did- when did- huh??" The girls merely laughed and Ebony told Shiro to go keep an eye on the younger kids for a bit. Azura snapped out of her stupor. "So, is Mr. Hotbod looking for a missus?" She waggled her sculpted brows. Ebony shook her head good naturally. "No after we left school, he actually found himself a nice girl to settle down with and they have a sweet little girl a year younger than Shiro." "Aww man! Why is fate so cruel to me! Please diosito, I'm sorry for anything I've done to deserve this!" She slumped into Amber's cushy shoulder while she patted her friend's head. “Aww come on Zura don't be like that. You know you'll always have us.” Amber said trying to comfort her. “Well come back to this soon, but for now have you guys heard from Ruby? She told me she was going to be late but I expected her to be here by now…” Ebony looked concern, which wasn't a surprise considering the two were friends long before meeting the rest of their group. "I'm sure she's- Ding dong! "-already here!" Amber said positively. "I'll get it this time!" Azura called out as she made her way quickly to the front door. While the other four gave knowing looks to each other. Azura paid no mind to them as she subconsciously combed back a loose curl from her face and opened the door. “Hey carrot-top, long time no see.” She said with a sly grin, leaning dramatically against the door frame. Ruby did not seem amused. “It's not my fault you grabbed the wrong hair dye! When are you going to put that lame nickname to rest?” “Never. I still have pictures if it makes you feel better!” Ruby just pushed her way into the house, a little boy in tow. “Oh! Is this-?” “Huh? Oh. Yeah. Zura, this is Keith, my new son.” Azura knelt down in front of the little boy, who had yet to look up from the ground. “Hey Keith. My names Azura, I used to know your momma.” Azura used the quiet voice she used when she was dealing with her sister’s youngest kids. Keith looked up for only a bit before returning his gaze to his little white sneakers. “Hullo.” He mumbled. Azura looked up at Ruby who momentarily had a pained look on her face before taking a breath and hardened her eyes. Azura knew that look. Knew that the pain Ruby felt was still fresh from the accident that happened almost a year ago that took away her sister and her brother-in-law. But Ruby was stupidly dutiful like that, and she would not let herself grieve terribly when she had her sister's child to look after, Azura admired her for that. She acted before thinking and stood with her arms open letting Ruby know she wouldn't judge and she definitely wouldn't say anything if that's what she wanted. Ruby merely leaned her head against Azura’s shoulder and wrapped her free arm around Azura’s. They paused for a moment so Azura could pick up Keith and let him hug his aunt turned mother. The other girls came trickling in, causing Azura and Ruby to separate quickly. But Azura kept a hand on the small of Ruby’s back as they traveled further into the house, to give that little bit of reassurance to her. Keith was dropped off with the other kids perking up a bit when he saw Shiro, whom he had taken a strong liking to. The group of women told each of their charges to be good, gave them each a cookie that Amber said Hunk had made especially for them, and left them in Shiro’s care before going back to the kitchen to catch up. Being a good three years older, Shiro felt good that his new aunties trusted him enough to keep an eye on their babies. Pidge was the youngest at the age of three, and Shiro had already taken to carrying her almost everywhere. Esme warned him he was going to spoil her, but Shiro didn't mind, she was an angel with him. Maybe it was playing favorites, but Shiro had already invested too much attention to Pidge in the short time he'd known her. The only one he'd probably put over Pidge was Keith. Thanks to Ebony and Aunt Ruby's tight bond, Shiro and Keith spent a lot of time with each other. Ebony would tell him that everyone needed someone to look up to, like he looked up to her, and Keith seemed to have imprinted on him like a baby duckling. The little boy wanted to be just like Shiro. He would follow him around the house and share all his stories about what he did in school. Shiro liked having Keith around, and when Keith and Aunt Ruby stayed over Ebony's home after the accident, Shiro had made it his personal mission to help his 'little brother' out. It wasn't easy at first, considering Keith didn't know what had actually happened, and even after he was told in the most gentle of ways instead of flat out throwing tantrums to see his parents again, he just became sad and quiet. Acting as if he accepted never seeing his parents again. It was a few months before the two were well off enough for Aunt Ruby to get them a little apartment and a few more to obtain and sign the papers needed for Aunt Ruby to adopt Keith. In the meantime Shiro had tried being the best brother he could be, but Keith still would clam up and didn't speak unless it was necessary, but Shiro wouldn't give up. It wasn't until one rainy day when Shiro went to visit that he found out what was going on in Keith's head. He and Aunt Ruby were trying to get Keith to do a puzzle with them, but the little boy just sat and watched them instead. When Aunt Ruby left to get snacks from the kitchen Keith spoke. "Shiro, do you think Aunt Ruby will leeb me too? Like mommy and daddy?" Shiro just stared at him. "What? Why do you think that?" Keith just played with his socked feet, curling himself up into a tiny ball. "Mommy and daddy didn't want me anymore right? Ts'why they leff me." "Oh, baby..." Aunt Ruby had entered the room and Shiro watched as Keith tried to hide from her gaze. Aunt Ruby sat next to him and pulled him into her lap. His little shoulders were shaking with the force of his unshed tears. "They didn't want to go baby, they would never have wanted to leave you if they had a choice." Aunt Ruby was strong, Ebony always called her a great and terrible force of nature, and it brought tears to Shiro's eyes when he heard the crack in her voice and her own shoulders quake with wracking sobs. She saw him and lifted her arm waiting for him to crash into her lap and the three of them just cried and cried after almost a year of pretending they'd cried enough. After they all calmed down some Aunt Ruby had put her hands on either side of Keith's face. "Now you listen to me little man," She said gently. "You were always wanted, life just knew how good your parents were that it wanted them for itself. And it's not fair. But just because the world did a bad thing does not mean they loved you or me any less! You were always wanted and you are wanted now, that's why we signed all those papers, so you would never be alone and I will always stay with you and love and take care of you forever." She wiped away the moisture from his cheeks and Keith's big indigo eyes met hers. "So...does that mean you're my new mommy now?" Aunt Ruby hugged both of the boys to her chest. "If that's what you want me to be firecracker, then that's what I'll do." Keith just pushed his tear streaked face and runny nose further into the softness of her shirt and just kept saying "Mommy! Mommy!" over and over again. After that Shiro saw a gradual change in his little brother, there were still times when Keith would get sad for his first parents. But then when Shiro visited he would bounce back a bit and let himself smile. Shiro knew it would take time to have Keith fully recover from this experience, but he was willing to help as much as he could. Which is why he was so confused with Keith's sudden change of attitude when he met the other kids at Aunt Esme's house. Shiro was fully prepared to have two little kids at his side while the other two played together. Instead he found the little blue eyed boy named Lance challenge Keith to a Lego building contest. "C'mon! It'll be fun!" Keith just stood there staring defiantly at the boy, probably not planning on leaving Shiro's side. "Ohhh, I get it. You're just escared of losing aren't you?” Lance had his hands on his hips and a cheeky smirk on his face. Keith pushed his face up and creased his brows. “No I'm not!" Shiro watched as the anger shined through Keith's eyes, his bottom lip stuck out in a pout. "Yeah right! Prove it then!" "I will!" With that the two boys raced quickly to the big bucket of Legos that sat in the middle of the floor. Lance and Keith split the Legos evenly amongst them and had Hunk be the referee. "Ok, whoever makes the biggest tower wins! Ready?" The two boys stared down the other, each already holding onto a brick to start. "Set?...GO!" Shiro sat Pidge on his lap and watched as the two boys aggressively started clasping bricks together. Keith had already started stacking his into a singular line already having to stand on his knees. Lance's wasn't very high yet, but Shiro saw he had made a base of sorts to balance the weight of his tower. Which would've been helpful to Keith, whose tower leaned to much to one side and came down with a crash, breaking into different pieces when it came in contact with the floor. "No!" Keith moaned as he started gathering his pieces and tried to refit them again before Lance finished his tower. He had to keep a hand on his tower at all times, until he realized the last piece was out of reach. He vainly tried to stretch his small little arms to it but moved to much and sent his tower tumbling once again. Just as Lance placed the last brick on top of his still-standing tower. "Ha! I beat you! Whoo!" Lance started running around the room with his arms stretched out like a little airplane, while he hummed a familiar little song out loud. "Lance? Is that the Space Ranger Buddies' theme song?" Shiro asked. Lance nodded his head super fast. "Uh huh! It's my favorite! Mama says I might get the Ranger Red toy for my birthday if I'm good!" His little blue eyes sparkled as he showed how excited he was by running in place. "That's Keith's favorite show too! And he really wants the Ranger Blue toy, don't you Keith?" Keith, who was pouting up until he too recognized the catchy little song escape Lance's mouth, uncrossed his arms and nodded equally as excited. "The Rangers are so cool! Beating up the bad guys like whoosh! And wham! And blak-chika-bla!" Keith made little finger guns and pretended to shoot. “I think it's more like pow pow pow!” Lance interjected pulling out his own ‘weapon’. “No it's like this! It's like this! Ka-chow ka-chow ka-chow!” Hunk joined into, practically vibrating in excitement. “Pew pewpew pew!” Pidge was the loudest obviously trying to voice her own opinion and join in the fun. "Shiro! Shiro! Do the thing! Do the voice!" Keith screamed, a happy sparkle coming into his eyes. Shiro sighed, but smiled, and in the best evil alien voice he could, said "I'm coming for you Rangers! I will have the Black Lion, and the ultimate weapon will be mine! Mwahahahaha!” The little kids laughed and chased after Shiro when he ‘took hostage’ of Pidge and ran around the house. “Lookie what I brought!” Azura said excitedly. Ruby glanced up from her plate (Amber had outdone herself once again, dammit, she was going to gain another 10 lbs...oh well!), and saw Azura holding up a bag of herbs. She groaned. “Zura, no! When are you going to get it through your head that you are not psychic?” Azura pouted. “I very well could be! My grandmother was a fortune teller! I just...haven't unlocked my true potential, that's all!” Ruby rolled her eyes, she would never tell Azura, but she found it quite adorable the way she tried relentlessly to predict their future. Everyone's future. She corrected herself. Everyone's. "Regardless of some people's lack of faith. This time will be different, I can feel it!" "I'm pretty sure what your feeling is just an ominous cloud ready to rain acid through your happy daydreaming." Ruby went back to attempting to steal treats from Esme's plate but would get smacked instead, fully intending to avoid Azura's pouting look. "I'll go first Zura!" Amber raised her hand as if they were back in high school. Azura's sad face magically slipped off her face a she squealed and grabbed Esme's tea kettle. "Ok, I think I figured out what went wrong the last time," she said over the running of the faucet. "Obviously, working with just any tea lying around won't work. I need to use one that represents me on an astral level, so obviously I need to align myself with my Pomegranate Green tea and focus our energies together to actually be able to read all you guys’ futures!” She put the kettle on the stove then ran back to the table before launching herself into Ruby's lap and stealing a bite of the cookie she was about to put in her mouth. “Azura!! You don't steal another woman's cookie! We have rules for a reason!” "Aw come on Ru-ru, I know you're not really mad at me." Azura fluttered her lashes and wrapped her long arms around Ruby's neck. Ruby had two options; become flustered and show everyone and their respective child how much Azura could get to her or...not. I think we all know which one she chose. With an impassive face, she merely hooked her arm underneath Azura's knees and lifted her up. She ignored the shrill squawk that exited from the other girl's throat and chucked her over the sofa in the front room. "Don't eat my cookies again, savage." Azura just giggled until the kettle started whistling, at which point she raced back to the kitchen and mixed the dry mix and water into cups. "Ok! Everybody drink at your own pace, whenever you're done Amber, I'll start with you." The girls smiled fondly at their friend and through a variety of blows and sips and gulps they steadily finished their cups. Amber sat in front of Azura holding out her cup in anticipation. Azura took out her ‘scrying saucer’ (it was just a plate with cool painted pictures, let's be real here) and made a big show of lifting the cup over her head and called forth the spirits of her dead ancestors to help her see the events yet to come. It was actually really fantastic to watch, what Azura lacked in actual prophetic skill, she made up for in wonderful showmanship. She then carefully turned the cup over and placed it upside down on her saucer, giving it a couple of pats to its bottom. "Ok here we go!" She lifted the the cup with a flourish, the dregs of tea scattered along its surface in random places. "Now Amber, according to the leaves...you will be taken someplace new, ooh lucky, oh! Never mind." "What? What is it?" Amber asked. Leaning over the saucer as if she too could see something more than soggy tea leaves. “It looks like trouble will follow you, a fight of some kind takes place, oh! But look, you come out victorious!” “Yes! So all in all seems like a good day, whoo hoo!” Azura laughed at her best friend's antics. Ruby was grateful that Amber would do anything to make Azura feel more confident in herself, she just wished she could be more like that, be the one Azura could go to as well, be her shoulder to cry on, she knew Azura was the most self-sacrificing person to ever live, she does so much for others she forgets about herself...ugh, maybe she should face the facts, her and Azura's relationship was nothing like what Amber and Azura had. “Ok! Who's next?” Azura read that Ebony would travel somewhere far, most likely job-related, she assured her she will have enough money so souvenirs were greatly accepted, insert her smirky wink-face. Esme needed to watch herself or she would carelessly break another bone, again. (“I have done no such thing before!” “Lies, blasphemous lies.”) “Ru-ru~ It's your turn~” Ruby let out an expected groan and pretended to drag her feet as she switched seats with Esme. “Fine. Here.” She plunked her cup on the table and waited with her arms crossed. Azura tipped the cup and patted its sides like before. “Alrighty, let's see what the world has planned for you carrot-top.” Azura said with a sweet smile. Ruby just huffed and glared at her to hurry up. Azura took a look at the tea leaves, the grin slipping off her face. “Huh.” “What?” Ruby said looking much more interested than she seemed. “You- you're- the leaves say there's a promise of love in your future…” Azura's voice had lowered exceptionally. “Oooh, Ruby! Who are you crushing on? You planning on asking them out soon?” Esme egged on her, giving knowing smirks and glances. “I don't know what you're talking about…” Ruby grumbled, obviously lying as a blush formed across her nose. Azura looked her in the eye. “Who-?” She was interrupted by loud squeals of delight from their charges. The older kids had found toy guns to help better act out their adventures, while Pidge toddled after them with a paper crown that was falling over her forehead and an old apron tied up as a cape, indignant cries to ‘slow down guys!’ coming from her mouth. The little girl seemed tired, her steps a bit unbalanced. Esme scooped her up, letting her lean against her chest. “Hey stinker, I think it's time for a nap.” She said gently while bouncing on the balls of her feet.: “Noooo, I'm na sleepy…” Pidge said with a large yawn. Esme just giggled at her goddaughter. “Close your eyes little sapling, dream of talking flowers.” The little girl curled up in her embrace and slowly complied. Hushed coos came from everybody else. “Well I think that's our cue to be on our way.” Ebony said. Amber agreed stating that her mother told her to go with Hunk to his kid-safe cooking class. And Esme went to quickly put Pidge to bed before saying good bye. “Tía! Tía! Can Keith come get ice cream with us? Please please please?” Azura picked up lance and nuzzled his nose with hers. “You don't forget anything do you?” “Nope!” He wriggled out of her arms to go and grab Keith's hand. Azura looked over to Ruby. “Do you guys have any plans for today?” Ruby smiled and shook her head. “Keith baby? You wanna go get ice cream?” The boys nearly screamed in joy. The women said their goodbyes, promising to catch up with each other a lot sooner and left their separate ways. Keith and Lance held each other's hands to Ruby's car, who had offered to drive them home as well. Luckily she had two car seats for when Shiro would come visit. The four climbed in and rode off to the cute little creamery in the center of town. All the while the boys play fought, and talked about other shows and toys they have. They each got an ice cream cone and walked over to park across the street, the boys eating on the swings while their guardians watched from a park bench. “So…” Azura started airily. “So…?” Ruby responded focused on getting the drops of strawberry threatening to spill over. Azura cleared her throat. “So, do I know this person you have a crush on?” Ruby almost choked on the bit of ice cream she was savoring. She coughed while Azura rubbed her back. “Why are we talking about this now?” Azura shrugged. “I don't know, I've just been wondering. Who in this entire world could've caught the great Ruby Kwang’s eye? How wonderful must they be to achieve that kind of honor?” Azura said this with an easy smile but couldn't help the plummeting feeling in her stomach. Someone caught Ruby's attention, someone Ruby deemed worthy enough to be considered an equivalent. Azura couldn't help but feel bitterness for whoever they were, they were going to get one of the greatest people to ever grace the earth with their presence. She looked back to her friend who looked a bit red in the face, but that could've just been from the coughing fit she had. “You really think that? That I'm wonderful?” Azura hid her face and nibbled on her waffle cone. “Of course I do,” Ruby looked down at her own partially melted cone. Azura thought she was wonderful. She couldn't even comprehend how that was possible. Azura was like all the stars in the sky, she outshines the sun, her smile alone could cause wars like that of Helen of Troy. If Ruby was wonderful, Azura was 10 times that amount, how could she not see that? The two stayed silent and watched the boys climb onto the jungle gym pretending they were space pirates or something, until Azura spoke again. “They must be smokin’ hot, huh? The person you like?” Ruby felt her cheeks burn. “Why are so adamant about this?! Just let it go, Zura!” “I need to know! It's killing me from the inside! Tell me!” “No.” “Ru-ru come on! How am I supposed to know if they're a good match for you? You gotta tell me! Are they from work? Did you bump into each other in the supermarket? Did-?” “I have liked the same person since high school!!” The confession had just burst from her mouth with no warning, both parties were shocked, by the volume and bluntness of her response. “Wait, what? Seriously? How could you have been crushing on the same person for almost 7 years and I didn't know about it!? We were together everyday! We were roommates in college!” “Well, that just goes to show you the person I like is completely obtuse…” Ruby mumbled under her breath. But Azura caught it. “What does that have to do with anything? We were talking about….me….” Ruby wouldn't look back at her, she kept her arms tensed and crossed, her posture, defensive. “Me?” Azura said again. “You liked...me? All this- all this time?” Ruby lifted her knees and held them to her chest, hiding her burning face even more. “You're telling me you've had a crush on me since high school?” Ruby nodded. “For seven years?!” Another nod. “You're telling me I could have been macking on your fine ass for years now and you were keeping it a secret!!!” Ruby nodded only to stop halfway and slowly turn her head. “Wait, wha-?” Azura reached over and took Ruby's hand in hers. “You beautiful idiot, why wouldn't you tell me?” She whispered gently, fondly. “I- I didn't-” she swallowed. “I didn't think you felt the same…” Azura exhaled and raised their joined hands to her lips, kissing each pale knuckle. “Stupid carrot-top…” she mumbled against her skin. “Will you go out with me sometime?” Azura asked, lips never leaving her hand. Ruby nodded and Azura smiled slowly and widely. She pulled them up to their feet and corralled the boys back to the car, all the while never letting go of Ruby's hand. When the boys were seated and Ruby started the ignition, Azura took hold of her hand again. “Hey?” Ruby looked to her. Azura looked at her happily. “Told you I was psychic.” Ruby snorted out a laugh while Azura placed one more kiss on her hand. It was the start of beautiful relationship.

[peachythoughtsuk-blog]

Japan 2017, my first blog.

Hey! I have been thinking about writing a lot over the last few years. At school I was always writing short stories and poems, and I’ve struggled over the years to work out where to start again with it all. On returning from Japan yesterday I decided it would be a cool idea to share some little snippets of my adventures from time to time and the wonderful things I discover along the way. I travel a lot as a tour assistant for a band, so I am often on long haul flights and zipping around.

My jet lag so far hasn’t been too bad, but I feel genuinely exhausted after a hectic tour schedule across New Zealand, Australia, South Korea and Japan. I stayed on after the tour for a short holiday in Tokyo, Kyoto and some beach spots. I don’t want to make this a travel tips blog as such, more just a few random things I took away with me from this trip that I feel could be of interest to others.

So here were some of my favourite discoveries…

Umeshu Soda - particularly the little ‘Suntory’ brand ones you will find in pretty coloured cans in the supermarket…. Umeshu (梅酒) is a Japanese liqueur made by steeping ume fruits in alcohol (焼酎 shōchū) and sugar….basically OH MY!! it tastes soooooo good and its low in alcohol, around 3%, the perfect summer drink. It’s simply plum wine and soda, and I can only describe it as tasting like some sort of alcoholic Shloer. I brought some plum wine home with me to try, although I don’t think it will turn out as nice as the canned stuff which seems more syrupy, and likely super bad for your teeth.

Takeshita street, close to Harajuku station in Tokyo. The place is busy busy busy, and I cant think of a better street name. So if you find yourself in Tokyo, this is a must visit. I wont go on about the details as this place gets mentioned in every Tokyo guide, but if you want cat related tacky gifts, toys, plastic food ornaments, cute socks and a cat petting cafe.. look no further. Cat Street is also close by (nothing to do with actual cats) for shops like Adidas, Patagonia and basically just every store that would make you have a complete ‘Why haven’t I won the lottery’ meltdown. Oh yeah, the cat cafe is called ‘Mocha’ and its at the start of Takeshita St (the train station end) on the left up some stairs. I felt the cats were well looked after and happy which is something I am always wary of when it comes to attractions like this. 600 yen for 30 mins of fluffy cuddles.

Teppanyaki and Okonomiyaki. Japanese cuisine is obviously next level but you haven’t lived until you’ve eaten at a Tepppanyaki place where they cook on hot iron plates. Okonomiyaki is some sort of god like pancake based feast that must be tried, it involves egg (obvs.) meat, noodles. It’s an extremely good hangover cure….so I’ve been told, ahem. 

Mount Kurama, Kyoto. VIBES. Wether you are a spiritual person or not, this place will bring you ultimate peace and great energy. It is worth the journey, which is a train and a funicular (fun!) and then lots of walking up stairs. The mountain is known as the birthplace of the holistic healing art - Reiki. In the early 1900s Mikao Usui meditated for 21 days on the mountain and received healing energy which was the start of the Reiki discovery. He meditated near the top of the mountain at a site called Osugi Gongen. You can stand at a central point outside the main temple and soak up the lovely energy there. Also you will find lots of shrines with different purposes i.e there is an area to wish for a good relationship / happy marriage. In this area there are many sacred trees that grow 2 trunks from one root, hence being the ‘relationships’ area of the mountain. There are also trees where you can tie ribbon wishes, or write on the back of little wooden plaques and they burn them during ceremonies.

For the surfers out there, I spent two days in the waves at Taito, Chiba on a longboard soaking up the sun. It can get busy but everyone there is local and very friendly. Look out for local surf legend Kenny, on a fluorescent pink board and wetsuit. So famous they call the wave ‘Kenny’s Left.’ On the days I surfed the water was very placid. It’s a beach break and seemed safe and suitable for beginner surfers also. Its not very commercialised though so don’t expect to see a lot of board hire places around…maybe in a few years! The amazing thing is that this area is only just over an hours drive out of Tokyo. If you do find yourself in the area, stop off for a coffee at ‘Port Of Call’ its a rad little place.  (Japan, 〒299-4502 Chiba Prefecture, Isumi, 岬町中原192-3)

Mitsutomoe - this is a very important symbol in Japanese culture. I discovered this by asking Ray, a local guy and friend of a friend, about his tattoo which turned out to be this very symbol. I asked if it was the ‘ying/yang’ symbol and he explained to me how it was very similar. I promised to research about it and now i’d like to share it with you. The name tomoe (pronunciation: toh-moh-ay) means turning or circular,  which refers to the motion of the earth. It is in fact related to the yin yang symbol, and has a similar meaning, representing the play of forces in the cosmos. A mitsu- tomoe reflects the threefold division of ‘Shinto’ cosmology, and is said to represent the earth, the heavens, and humankind. I suppose it shows the importance of the balance between all. You will often find the symbol on taiko drum skins and roofs of temples, it was also adopted by the samurai’s. As the symbol comes from the ‘Shinto’ religion I will now research more into it.

Ok so I think that is probably enough for my first blog and who even knows if anyone is reading this! but if you are here, thank you! I hope you may have found something interesting amongst my typing. Just as I sign off I’d like to say how grateful I am to of experienced this wonderful country. I was particularly taken back by how much pride, care and attention to detail everyone gives you when serving you in whatever way, be it in a shop, a taxi or restaraunt. The Japanese really do take pride in their work and being respectful to others which I truly admire.

Have a positive rest of your day,

Arigato! x (thanks, in Japanese if you didn’t know)

[3one3]

The Sequel - 795

It’s Time

André Schürrle, Juan Mata, other Chelsea/BVB players, and random awesome OC’s (okay they’re less random now but they’re still pretty awesome)

original epic tale

all chapters of The Sequel

“Double espresso latte for Prinzessin, babycino for Mausi. Chicken Caesar wrap and fries is coming. They’ll bring it. Here’s napkins.” Was that everything, André asked himself before taking his seat. Christina had just landed back in Dortmund for her Valentine’s visit, and she didn’t get to have lunch or even a snack since breakfast early in the morning, so they stopped at a brand new cafe to get her some mid-afternoon lunch on the way home from the airport.

“Thanks, babe. Did you lose your mom?” the rider questioned as she tested the temperature of the “babycino”- a small cup of steamed milk with a dash of cocoa powder mixed in, just the thing for kids who don’t want to feel left out when the adults sit down for coffee. Lukas was one of those kids. He’d begun to demand his sippy cup with the handle like a coffee mug in the morning when his parents and caretakers had coffee or tea with him over breakfast, as opposed to the various kinds without handles or in different shapes. For the time being, he was too excited about Mommy being back to care much about his drink. He was trying to show her all of his new animals. The storybook celebrated at the children’s reading his dad took him to was about farm animals, and the bookstore had small Beanie Baby style plush characters. Lukas got a cow, a pig, a lamb, a goat, a rooster, and a duck, and they were all on the small cafe table in front of his booster seat so that each one could be introduced to Mommy. They were called “Moo”, “Oik”, “Phiwip Lamm”, “Messi”, “Roo”, and “Quack”. Christina spent much of the time waiting for her drink thinking about how confusing it was going to be that André and Luise managed to teach the baby that sounds don’t have to be sounds and can actually be names. In her mind if you teach a child that the black and white blotchy square thing goes “moo” and then teach him that its name is “Moo”, the child might start thinking that the sound his dog Lucky makes is “lucky” instead of “bark”. These were the deep and philosophical matters that influenced her parenting style.

“She’s waiting for my smoothie and her blended mocha something or other,” the footballer said about his mother, who was waiting for Melanie to come pick her up so they could spend the night at a spa in Düsseldorf. The pregnant girl was in need of some pampering, and in need of some attention from a loved one. Melanie spent all of January in West Palm Beach with Rafa, but then she had to return to Europe for work and had been on the road with the FEI at their Division 2 shows for two weeks. That wasn’t easy in light of her pregnancy. Mom and daughter were going to get some massages and facials and have a mother-daughter Valentine’s day like when Melanie and André were kids and the only one giving them chocolate, teddy bears, and flowers was Luise. Christina was kind of jealous, actually. She almost wished she’d been invited. Her Valentine’s plan was to spend the day with André and Lukas and then say goodbye to the player before dinner because he had to stay with the team. Wednesday was a matchday.

“What kind of smoothie did you get?”

“Mango acai.”

“Daddy, Quack is hungry,” Lukas complained with deep seeded contriteness. The rider couldn’t help but chuckle at him, and then full on laugh when Daddy pretended the stuffed animal’s hunger was a serious emergency, glancing around frantically for something to feed him and then assuring him he would take care of it. André almost knocked the table over when he got up to fetch a saltshaker from the nearest empty one. I don’t even know if he’s hurrying to remedy this hungry duck situation because he thinks if he doesn’t then Lulu Schü is going to get upset, or because he’s just pretending to be very concerned for he duck’s empty stomach, Christina thought while the player dumped salt onto a napkin. “Moo is hungry too!”

“They can share. Here. Put all the animals around the food and they can each have some,” he reasoned. She scooted his chair forward so that Lukas could reach the toys and place them in a circle around the salt pile. She also decided that her husband was a genius for going with the salt and not grabbing some sugar packets. That could have turned into a sticky mess, and on a macro level, taught Lukas that sugar is the answer to hunger, which was something she definitely didn’t want him to learn.

“Drink your milk while they have their lunch,” she suggested to him once he was pushed back again. He couldn’t be trusted with that much access to the table. He would abuse it to steal silverware or food, or knock things over. Christina handed him the paper cup and willed him not to drop it. Luise did the exact same thing. She handed her son a wet plastic cup and warned him that it was slippery and to be careful not to spill.

“How did your adidas meeting go this morning, pretty girl?” he inquired after sampling his smoothie. Having his wife visit not on the back of a competition was a great thing for him, he hoped. It meant he didn���t have to endure whatever aftermath of the competition, like he got her on a clean slate without a drama to color her state of mind or give her something to want to obsess over. And he was desperate for her counsel. Dortmund managed to lose to last-place Darmstadt on Saturday. Many regular starters were unavailable to play and he still didn’t get in the team. Tuchel changed the formation and tried to put square pegs in rectangular holes, and it was hard not to take that as a personal slight when there were other ways to handle the personnel situation that would have included him and seemed much more logical. The manager called on him with 15 minutes remaining, at 2-1, and withdrew Marco, meaning André was expected to make something happen with a bunch of kids whose poor judgement and weak mentality had dug the hole for the team in the first place and without the only member of the squad with current scoring streak to speak of. He couldn’t. The loss was an embarrassment. On top of that, the club was in big trouble with the league over fan violence the week before. They had a huge fine to play, and would have to empty the famous Yellow Wall for a match. The media had been pushing a “Dortmund in crisis” line for weeks and the players kept pushing back, telling reporters that it was a manufactured crisis and that everything was fine in the team. The loss at the weekend gave the crisis talk some substance. Doubts about Tuchel turned up in volume, and the season-long transfer debate rhetoric got a shot of electricity. Fans and observers wanted to know how the club could spend so much and bring in so many players and end up fighting to get into the Champions League places. And speaking of the Champions League, Benfica was coming to town in two days. The club’s record signing was ready to be on the receiving end of spousal support instead of dishing it out.

“It was okay but I don’t know why they even consult me. They ignored everything I said about the first collection, and most of the things I’ve said in development meetings since then. The new stuff is clothes I would wear to run errands or...get coffee. They’re really comfy looking, and it’s all typical dull Chris colors, luxurious fabrics, blah blah, but it’s not stuff I would ride in.”

“They’re trying to sell your lifestyle,” Luise pointed out. “I think riders would buy the clothes just to feel they are like you, not necessarily to be better outfitted for their riding or something like this. Footballers only wear one outfit to play. Think of all the items in the club shops.”

“I guess. I just don’t really like having my name on something I wouldn’t even ride in, even though it’s not my actual name...exactly.... This is a really good latte, by the way. We should come here more.”

“It’s a long way from the house,” André reminded. He saw Christina’s face fall, and hoped it was a consequence of disappointment about the coffee and not a bigger house-related thing. Her footing installation was underway there, and as he got no panicked or apologetic calls yet, he assumed it was going to plan. More importantly, Zoe told him the house could be done in as little as a week. He planned to talk to his wife about it once they were alone. His idea was to schedule the big move during her Gothenburg trip. That way everything from the London house could be packed, shipped, delivered, and installed all while she was away, and most of the horses were going to the show with her so that would make transferring everything from one barn to the other more convenient too. He didn’t know if that was as easy as he expected though, logistically. For example, he didn’t know how the new barn could be set up and ready to receive the horses from Sweden if Tom and Kyle were in Sweden with them, and he didn’t know if the kids were ready to move that soon, or what would happen with Isandro and the Hazard ponies. The Argentine didn’t have a new job yet, and André didn’t know if Box Hill had space for Wizzy and Cornflakes right away.

They spent the rest of the cafe stop fighting over French fries. They were a hot commodity and everyone wanted some. Christina was happy to share her crispy potatoes with Lukas, but she told André to go get his own. He kept stealing them two or three at a time whenever she picked up her wrap. It was big and falling apart and was thus a two-handed job. That left her fries defenseless. A French fry feud was the most fulfilling thing to happen to him since she last left.

“How is your booboo? Is it going away?” he asked her later in the evening, when they were finally alone. His girl changed after putting Lukas to bed, and rejoined him on the couch in her home uniform- a little white t-shirt and little black underwear. André lifted her bare leg to check out the damage he did a week earlier. The ugly bruise was still there. His challenge during their “game” with Lukas was bad enough that the evidence wasn’t going away.

“Oh not to worry- it only hurts every single time I squeeze my leg on a horse.”

“So, like, 300 times per day?”

“Correct.”

“I’m sorry,” he laughed. “I didn’t know you were going to just stop.”

“Do you like this one?” Christina invited herself to sit in his lap so that she could show him a big swollen and presumably black and blue spot on the top of her head. “I dropped my fork under the table at Stamford Bridge yesterday and in the time it took to bend down and get it I forgot that I was under a table and thought I could just sit up again. I was really off my game yesterday,” she sniggered. The footballer knew she was referencing the three separate occasions on which she called him by accident from her car while trying to operate the GPS.

“Accident Prone Prinzessin is a walking disaster, yeah?” he asked before kissing her head near the bump. She folded her legs and hunkered down, preparing to stay for the long haul. Sitting on him was the high point of her day. There was some kind of special reading powers in her butt. If she sat on him, then she could magically see into his heart and his head and know how he was doing. The butt-read was significantly more accurate than listening to him explain his football frustrations, or even watching him when he talked about them. Her nicely sculpted behind was readying its report.

“More like a sitting disaster. I don’t even have to walk to get myself hurt. I do it sitting down.”

“Should I put some pillows around you now for your own protection?”

“No, you should just protect me yourself.” Christina leaned over on one side of his chest and hugged across the other. “Protection services are part of the marriage contract, buddy.”

“Despite all physical evidence to the contrary, my baby can protect herself just fine.” André put his hand over hers on his shirt and stroked back and forth over the back of her palm and her wrist. And she’s doing a much better job of it right now than a few months ago, so I’m thankful, he thought.

“You’re pretty good at looking after yourself too, but are you okay right now?” His wife glanced up near his chin and dropped her cute tone. She was asking a serious question. “The Dortmund press is LIT right now. I know you said it’s not as bad inside the team as out, but is that still the case? Are you dealing okay? Are you pretending so that I don’t say “I told you so”?”

“I’m better now that you’re around.” The team’s under-utilized and overpriced midfielder aggressively tousled her hair, immediately realized she just showed him the big bump on her head, cringed, and hugged the whole thing to his face like that would stop it from hurting. “I’m sorry! I forgot!”

“I’ll survive.” The rider had quite a glare on her face but he couldn’t see it. “Seriously though- do you need to talk or anything?”

“I would like to just enjoy having someone to hang out with who doesn’t remind me of the team, has a prettier smile than my friends, and smells nice.”

“I thought you were talking about Luke until you got to “smells nice”. How much longer do we have to wait for potty training you think?”

“A long ass time.”

“Do you want to go not-out dancing with me?”

“Come again?”

“Juan invited me out dancing last night. The guys were going to some V-Day themed party. And I was like yeah, I do kinda feel like going out dancing, but I wanna go out dancing with boyfriend, so I didn’t go. But I still feel like dancing. Do you want to make yourself a drink to hold and sip while you sit around not dancing while I dance? I’m probably gonna do it in the kitchen.” Christina blinked up at him with large and expectant eyes. Her playful and affectionate mood was one of his favorites, and exactly the one he needed on that Monday night. It was like being a kid and having a friend over to play with, rather than having his roommate around. A roommate is so familiar and routine that hanging with one can be dull in comparison to having a friend over for a playdate.

“I don’t really feel like having a drink-drink, but I’ll drink some wine while you go out dancing in the kitchen,” he winked. Then he spotted what his wink did to her eyes. Both of them swelled for just a second, like a heart beating, and her bare lips curved up. “Will you be dressing up for this night out in?”

“Hell no. I’m gonna make dinner while I’m out in dancing though. Chicken-veggie-grain-bowl, or shrimp?”  

“Shrimp! Can you make the Sriracha sauce?”

“Yessir,” his playdate nodded. “Phone, please.” She used his iPhone to play The Weeknd’s “Love To Lay” through the TV’s sound system, put her slippers on, and danced into the kitchen to defrost some shrimp and start cutting up vegetables to go with the bulgur she made earlier for Lukas. It was no mere foot tapping and head bobbing with her favorite tune from Starboy. Christina danced like she had pre-arranged choreography for the song. She sang into a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc after pouring two glasses. She rubbed her butt on a cabinet with an avocado in her hand. Her usual dance partner leaned over the counter and watched her while he sipped the wine.

I bet she dances to this in the shower all the time or something, he reasoned. She knows exactly which move she wants to do for each part, and she loooooooooves this song. I looooooooove her butt in those panties. Very small, no-frill stretchy black panties are Chris’ signature look. That’s what adidas should sell with her name. If I get a chair from the table and go sit in there, is she going to grind on my lap like she does in the club?

“You don’t have any mint, do you?” the tiny dancer inquired when her first song began to fade out.

“No.”

“Is there basil left from last week?”

“Yeah but it might be bad.”

“Are you gonna come dance wiff me?” She turned her bottom lip over and lifted up on her toes at the big butcher-block cart.

“Maybe.”

“Get the basil and come over here. You can dance with me and chop leaves while I massacre this avocado.”

“I was going to eat that for breakfast tomorrow.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day. You think I’m gonna let you eat some crappy avocado toast for breakfast? Chyea.” Christina took a few steps back to select a knife from the block on the counter, and André detoured to her before going to the refrigerator to get the basil. He wanted to give her a smooch.

“I love you,” he reminded her with a calm and close-lipped smile after.

“Yeah well no one is going to say “I don’t love you” to a girl with a large knife.”

At what point do I ruin this nice mood she’s in and tell her the house is almost ready? The player’s own question made for an unexpected mental shudder. He knew for more than 24 hours that he would be delivering the news, and for more than 24 hours he anticipated a bad reaction. It wasn’t until that night that he realized how awful it is to expect one’s wife to be upset to learn that they can live together again soon. He chopped not-so-fresh basil and reflected on that, wondering what it said about them and their relationship. It’s not really that I think she doesn’t look forward to being settled with me again, one delegation in his head argued. It’s more that I know she doesn’t want to leave London and hates change. It’s the reality and proximity to the upheaval that I think is going to bring her down. That’s okay, isn’t it? That’s not the same as her reacting in some way other than bouncing up and down with happiness because she’s dreading being a family full-time again. I don’t believe that anymore. She wants to be together more. Shouldn’t I expect that eagerness to outweigh the dread of change though? Shouldn’t she be happier about getting settled and being together and launching our new life than she is sad or depressed about finally ending this terrible half-way situation we currently have? She’s had 7 months to be upset about having to leave the house and the barn and her friends and her hairdresser and everything. Shouldn’t she be ready to celebrate the new start by now? Is it really bad that my instinct is that she won’t be?

Christina kept dancing while they chopped up broccoli florets, carrots, yellow squash, Nappa cabbage, and spinach. That wasn’t necessarily her first choice assembly of vegetables for Sriracha shrimp, but it was what she found in the refrigerator. All of that went in the steamer and she heated the hot sauce in a sauté pan with minced garlic and butter. André just stood around when he was finished with his knife work. He gulped wine and thought about when to broach the subject of the move.

“You’re awfully quiet,” his wife observed after the initial loud sizzle from tossing defrosted shrimp into the hot pan waned. It was her belief that if he went 5 minutes without doing or saying something dumb and/or silly, there was something bothering him.

“I wouldn’t want to talk over Keith Urban and Carrie Witherspoon.”

“Carrie Underwood,” she snorted, shaking her head as well as the frying pan.

“Whatever. They’re the same bad country music,” the pseudo-striker shrugged.

“Reese Witherspoon is an actress, you dumbass. She doesn’t make country music.”

“I saw her in that country movie doing country music!”

“The Johnny Cash movie? That was just a role. She’s not a musician.”

“Fine. This song still sucks.”

“Your face sucks.”

“I’m going to throw this lemon at your face.”

“Would you rather throw it in my face or have it zested on your shrimp?”

“That’s a tough choice, to be honest.”

“Shut up.”

“The painters started at the house today. Zoe scheduled the final pre-move-in walkthrough for next Monday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. It’s finally time, Prinzessin. It’s time to move into our new home.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah,” Christina whispered as she turned away to look down at the shrimp, a lump expanding in her throat like the world’s fastest growing cancer. It felt like cancer, too. Sickness descended. Her stomach was uneasy, the steam from the food suddenly made her skin clammy on the outside and it felt white hot on the inside. There was anxiety, like when she knew she was about to be ill, and there was instant sadness. Their arrangement wasn’t working and she was desperate for long lasting relief from that. Going all in in Germany was never the permanent solution she expected to fix it though. That was the answer she was still nervous about, and kind of dreading. She still didn’t want to give up her London life, even if London didn’t always feel like home anymore anyway. She still feared change. The devil she knew was undeniably awful. There was still the possibility that the devil she didn’t know could be worse, and that one was much harder to escape or hide from. “I need the lemon now.” She held her hand out for the fruit without taking her eyes off the seafood. André handed it over but her reaction was not the one he was hoping for.

“Is that not what you want?” His question wasn’t about food.

“It’s not that it’s not what I want.” I’ve done plenty of thinking on this and I know how to explain it now, Christina reminded herself. “What I want is to live in our home in London with you, and for you to play for Chelsea, and for my riding to be what it was. None of those things are going to happen so there isn’t much point in wanting it. So I do want to move into the new house and be together- it’s just that it’s my second choice.”

“Are you ever going to let me off the hook for doing what’s best for me?” Her partner was frank and his voice carried a sharp edge.

“I don’t have you on one.”

“Right.”

“What do you want me to fucking say? I’m not standing here telling you I’m mad that we’re standing here. I’m not standing here telling you I don’t want to be having all our fights in a kitchen in Germany from now on. I’m just telling you that I would rather be standing with you in a kitchen in London because I loved the life we had there and I know it works there and I don’t know that we’ll love it here or that it works here, so I’m not overwhelmed with happiness that it’s time to find out.” The rider and chef turned off the heat under the pan and ignored the surly German to her left. She threw a handful of the basil in and stirred it around with her tongs. “I’m leaving everything I love to be with who I love. I made that choice because who I love is more important than what I love, but you can’t expect me to only feel good about it. I’m not like you. You came here and pretended you were only excited about Dortmund, and looking forward, like you weren’t also disappointed in yourself for not making the Chelsea career you wanted, like you wouldn’t miss the club, and the city, and our home. You just threw a sheet over all of that and forgot about it. That’s not me. I carry the hard stuff around with me too.”

“You think I don’t?”

“You certainly don’t act like it.”

One thing is for sure. She is over the wounded animal act from the last however many months, André decided. Someone has re-grown a backbone. He wasn’t necessarily thrilled with the revelation- not in that moment anyway. He watched her assemble the bowls of bulgur, steamed vegetables, spicy shrimp, and fresh avocado and totally refuse to look him in the eye, or even in his general direction. And he didn’t know what to make of it. I wanted her to smile and say “That’s great! I can’t wait!” I get that she doesn’t want to leave London and she’s sad about it. Why is it unreasonable to think she should be more excited about being here with me than she is upset about leaving there?

“I didn’t ignore that I was upset about quitting Chelsea, or that I had to be away from you,” the player told her while she drizzled her creations with a bit more Sriracha. “I was just more excited and happy about the new things than I was upset about the old ones. I don’t expect you to be only happy to come here. I hoped you would be more excited about our future than you are sad about leaving our past. That’s all.”

“Well I’m not, and before you have a cow, it’s not because of us. It’s because it’s unknown. Here.” Christina turned 45 degrees and thrust the striped bowl of food into his waist. Her husband hated the way she talked about everything. To him it was all negative, and final, and unforgiving. He could tell she was upset, and that she was driven by emotions other than anger, but it was still wholly unpleasant to confront. I’m just going to move on. I don’t know how many times we have to “re-litigate” this. That’s the word she always uses when she watches political people on TV make bad arguments about the past to try to defend something in the present. She says it’s just bad arguing tactics. I don’t know. Whatever.

“Fine. Do you want to do the move while you’re in Sweden? Zoe has a company that comes and packs up the house after you leave and puts it all in the new house by the time you get there. She tells them where to put everything. I’m sure it can be changed when you-“

“No. Why on Earth would I want to be stressing out over an international move during my last chance to qualify for the World Cup Final? And what about the horses? We cant jus-“

“This is what I said would happen.” André put his bowl on the counter and folded his arms. “I said you would keep finding reasons to put it off. This show, and that show, and-“

“Why are you looking for a fight? I just said I don’t want to move during a major horse show. What is so wrong with that? Would you want to move your whole life to a new a place while you’re traveling for a Champions League semifinal or something? God.” Christina looked disgusted, and she tossed the dirty pan into the sink with all the care of a deliveryman on overtime. “I have four weeks off between Sweden and the Final in the US and I would be “happy” to move during any one of them. It’s not like I just said “maybe next year”. Christ.”

“Calm down.”

“You calm down.”

The player got up from the counter he was leaning on and picked up her bowl to offer it to her, almost like an olive branch. It was within him to realize he had just jumped to an unfair conclusion, and he was sorry for that part of the conversation at least. She shook her head and refused to take the bowl.

“I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Chris...”

“How can-“ She took a deep breath, sighed, and felt the backbone he thought he saw dissolve away. The lump came back, and her face felt hot, and tears couldn’t be too far behind. There were much more complicated things on her mind than the logistics of moving, whether it happened while she was busy or not. “How can you think that whatever is wrong with us- whatever makes us have these fights- is just magically going to go away because we live in the same house? Or that it’s magically going to be fine if I can win things with Dirk all the time? Juan says-“

“I couldn’t give a fuck less what Juan says.”

“No, listen. Just listen,” she sighed, looking up from the floor for a second. “He says the strength of a relationship is what you see in bad times, when it’s hard. Don’t you think we should be okay regardless of what things are happening outside of us? Don’t you think it’s a bad sign that we have to rely on outside circumstances to believe that we’ll be good again? Our relationship shouldn’t depend on our geolocation and my aging horse. You do this thing where you can see a solution to a problem so you think it’s fine. You saw Dortmund as a solution and ignored all the logical counterpoints and now you’re suffering for your one-track mind. I asked you what happens when Marco is fit, and you said it would be fine because Tuchel wanted you. It’s not fine. You don’t get to play. It’s a major drama. You always do this. You have a problem, and you make up a plan to solve it, and you latch onto the plan and believe it has to work, but you ignore anything that goes against the plan, and the odds on the plan. Just because you can see a way out of something doesn’t mean it’s going to work. What happens when we’re all settled in the house and Dirk breaks records and we’re still fighting in the kitchen because you doubt whether or not I want to live with you, and that I’m holding a grudge because you wanted to come here? Why do you think those will go away? You need to live with me to believe I want to live with you? Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that?”

“You’re criticizing me for having belief in us and for thinking of ways to make our lives better, but I don’t hear you coming up with anything else.” The footballer tried to keep his emotions in check despite feeling attacked for being himself. He didn’t see his affinity for solving problems as a weakness. “If you don’t think being together and improving your situation with Dirk is going to make everything better for us- that we have some fundamental problems that have nothing to do with being apart and you being unhappy- then what do you think will fix everything?”

“I don’t know, and that’s why I’m unhappy, and why I’m stressed, and why I’m not excited to move. Not only do I not think moving fixes everything, it also has the potential to confirm that our problems are deeper than that, and then I know for sure that we’re in trouble, and I can’t even get relief from the fights once I live here.”

“Yeah but I know when we’re together everyday that I don’t have the doubt about what you want. You show me. And I know that you’re always happier and capable of more happiness and great things when you and the horse are doing well together. I have reasons for believing in my solutions. Let’s eat, okay? Let’s just take a step back.”

“You have reasons and when you settle on them you block out everything else. You had reasons why you’d be happier playing here too, and blinders on to block out all the reasons that were in contradiction to the ones you chose to believe. I don’t do that. That’s not how my brain works. I look at the whole picture.” The underwear-clad chef patted her dejected and slightly offended partner’s arm in an awkward gesture he didn’t understand. “You eat. I’m going to...take a bath, I think.” She squeezed his arm and then walked away. There were no tears, and the biting anger never boiled over. It wasn’t a retreat either though. The new kind of end to the fight made it different from all the other ones they’d been having since the beginning of the transfer saga. Christina didn’t get so upset that she took the easy way out just to put an end to the ordeal, and André never lost his temper or shouted at her. The former wondered if that just meant they were both becoming numb to fighting, not whether it meant they were doing better about being better to one another.