#it doesn't matter!!!! how you look is a morally neutral thing!!!!!!! most people are not '''''hot''''' actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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musical-chick-13 · 3 months ago
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:) :) :) :) :)
#if anyone. ANYONE. even people who condemn Vigilante Justice and talk about [xyz thing that was apparently wrong with him]#straight-up openly thirsts over the shooter and talks about how hot they think he is on a personal preference level#I am blocking you and never speaking to you again.#is this petty? yeah probably. almost definitely.#but I've earned the right to be petty after seeing all these fuck-ass awful takes on literally every subject imaginable#we NEED to put more '''''ugly''''' people in public positions this is actually IMPERATIVE#the fucking leeway you will give ANY white man who you think is attractive jesus FUCKING christ#it doesn't matter!!!! how you look is a morally neutral thing!!!!!!! most people are not '''''hot''''' actually!!!!!!!!!!!!!#get a hobby!!!!! worry about something actually meaningful for once!!!!!!!!!!!#find a fictional character who's horrible instead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#oh I forgot. we can't like horrible fictional constructs for any reason that's bad. we can stan literally anyone irl though.#murderers. fundamentalists. abusers. dictators. the guy formerly known as bren------s.#THAT'S all fine.#I can't believe I'm going to say this. I hate this phrase and I think more often than not it is used in very bad faith but: SOOOOOO many of#you for real need to go out and touch grass#like for your own self-preservation#and for the sanity of the rest of us#current events#tw: guns#my God I have blocked and unfollowed more people in the past month than like. the entirety of my almost-eight-years here probably#UGH. good-BYE#(once again asking myself if I should legit just deactivate but I would lose touch with a few people and also access to some of my#beloved fandom communities)
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yooooo!!! you’re my favorite ethan winters artist i just wanna say that first and foremost, thank you for the wholesome content of my comfort character and father figure 🥹🫶
i’m really curious bc i feel like i see a lot of people against mithan (not me personally, i’m p neutral on them!) but i’m curious to know all your thoughts on them! thoughts on their canon relationship, their fanon portrayal, the backlash against them/mia accusations, and your headcanons? i’m just really interested!!! hopefully that’s not weird :”)
have a good day!! sparkle on!!! ✨💖
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i heart mithan... i think that they can be so cute...
i personally hc them t4t and i like to think that the dated in highschool before they both had fully transitioned
mia likes to bake and ethan likes to scrap book and he always likes to take pictures of mias cakes/ baked goods and has a album for them 😭
i am a multishipper so i draw a lot of ethan ships so my girl is left out sometimes and im sorry mia 😔
i actually really like their relationship, its a really complex dynamic that i like to talk about with my friends
i think the issue is that when talking about mithan or mia in general, theres just SO MUCH misinformation that its honestly a pain the butt to talk about
people still think that she was responsible for the creation of eveline, people still think that she experimented on eveline, people still use examples of her attacking ethan as if she did it on her own will instead of being mind controlled
in reality she was just someone who oversaw the transportation of evie. im not excusing her or anything because obviously she knew what she was doing, but people really try to accuse her of doing something she didnt and it bothers me alot lol
the problem with the fandom is that people either try to water her down to girlboss who did nothing wrong and fail to acknowledge the complexity/ moral grayness of her character and the other side is misogynists 😭😭😭😭
its hard to talk about her without people either going "stop trying to villainize her and make her look bad!" or people ACTUALLY villainizing her and acting like heisenberg would have treated him better 😭😭
mithan is such a sad relationship because they loved each other so much and that ended up being the reason their relationship fell apart (sort of... its not like the broke up... ethan kinda just straight up died)
i get a lot a trouble for saying this, but mia is a selfish person.
its not a bad thing! well i mean it is but it doesnt make her some evil witch who is somehow worse than the guy how made a werewolf american ninja warrior. its just a major character flaw she has! which is good! mia being a flawed person who makes mistakes and morally gray decisions make her a more interesting person!
she is selfish in the way that she wants to keep her family with her no matter the cost. even if it means lying to ethan about her job so that he wont think different of her. here is a interrogation from the re7 DLC, which is easy to miss!
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she isnt necessarily trying to apologize for the things she has done, she is more of a, "u wont need to forgive me in the first place if we just forget it all and move on"
she doesn't try to redeem herself for what she has done, she tries to move on and return to the normal life that she wants so bad. which is fine! everyone copes a different way and she has to right to move on from her trauma. the problem that lies in this is that she has a shared trauma with ethan who still has no idea what went on in dulvey and still effects him till the present (he is mold! this is a important thing to know! most people would want to know if they were a walking corpse)
she played a direct part in what happened in dulvey, and im not referring to the email, she did not send that. she never wanted ethan to come in the first place. she tried her best to send a video to him, begging him to forget about her because she wanted to protect him, BUT it didnt send.
he got involved because she was involved. its honestly a series of really really unfortunate events.
THOUGH! she did know what she was getting into. im tired of seeing the narrative that mia was innocent and didnt know what was going on or was simply a bystander. she knew what she was doing, she knew eveline was a bioweapon, she knew eveline was a child. she used a MACHINE GUN! she knows how to use weapons and was obviously trained for it.
she tried her best to keep everybody out of the mess, ex: warning the bakers not to take them in, warning ethan not to find her, sacrificing herself for ethan in the later half of re7
but again, those are the consequences of HER actions
her consequences just happen to get really big and end up hitting ethan on the head like a metal sheet 😭
their relationship is really so interesting, it makes me really sad to think about sometimes 😭they both went through something that nobody else would ever understand, in the end they really only have each other. they get moved to an entire different country and the dulvey incident gets covered up with a "gas leak"
its really tragic because their marriage definitely had some flaws and bumps. and i know im repeating myself but its because people always take this in the worst way possible but just because i say their relationship was rocky doesnt mean im saying they dont love each other!!! thats the entire basis of mias character!! saying she doesnt love ethan would destroy her entire character!
you can see in the re8 DLC how fondly ethan talks about mia! he loves her so much, though im not sure if his comments in the DLC are him narrating current (post re8) or his thoughts before everything went down and he died (pre re8)
everything mia did was because she LOVED ethan. she would never do anything to intentionally hurt him, she is not a cruel person. she hides the truth of her job from ethan pre re7 because she loves him and doesnt want her job to drive them apart. she CONTINUES to refuse to tell ethan the truth post re7 because she wants to move on a live a happy normal life with him and knows something like her being directly associated with the connections would probably cause (more) problems. she refuses to tell ethan that he is mold because again, hard to live a happy marriage with your husband after you tell him hes a bioweapon.
obviously i dont think it was right that she did this, thats what makes her selfish! she did it for herself! she did it for her family! she thought it would work out, she thought that they could move on and be happy together.
the issue is that ethan didnt want to forget. he wanted to know what happened, he wanted to know the part mia played, he wanted answers! which is reasonable! he knows to some extent that mia was partially responsible for his involvement and he was always suspcious that mia was lying to him about her job which is implied when mia says "you were right, i did lie to you"
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she doesnt learn, she doesnt stop lying, her lies get bigger and worse and it sucks yeah but it makes her so interesting!!! she keeps doing stupid things under the idea that this is whats best for her and her family, that if she hides this everything will work out and it will be for the better but its not!
just because telling your husband hes dead and a bioweapon is a hard subject to bring up doesnt mean you DONT bring it up. people shouldnt use that as a reason to excuse mia 😭, its a very bad excuse and honestly highlights how horrible their communication skills were. you cant just not tell your husband that he is actually infected with the mold and not tell him for the tree years between post re7 and pre re8.
im not saying these things to put mia down, or try and villanize her. these are all just actual things her character does! she isnt evil, but she isnt a knight in shining armor either. we need to be able to have talks about complex characters without crying everytime someone points out a flaw. characters have flaws! and mia just happens to have a lot of them!
im not mad at her, i dont dislike her because i think this way of her. shes a fictional character! you can like characters that are morally gray, or villains that drink blood and make corpse soldiers. they are fictional! pointing out the flaws of a character does not mean i dont like them.
i wouldnt call her "the real villain of re8" but i wouldnt treat her like a damsel in distress either. she is a competent person, she knows what shes doing, she has her reasons for doing them. she made bad descions with good intentions behind them! they can coexist and we should let them!
i like mithan! its a complex relationship because they both love each other so much but hurt each other in the process
talking about them is just a pain in the butt because talking about mia is a pain in the butt lol
i really hate how she keeps getting sidelined, its super frustrating to see mia get put in a cage in every game 😭
its even more frustrating that mia straight up just disappears???? in the shadows of rose DLC... like she just stops taking care of rose and theres nothing said about it. no reason or explanation. i dont think mia would ever ditch rosemary because she didnt care about her, but we probably will never know because capcom sucks at writing and they probably forgot the mia ever even existed.
all in all, i think the fandom is really just full of misinformation which make people either think mia is some horrible evil person, or its full of people who think that saying mia messed up is the equivalent of comparing her to wesker lol.
i really love mia, shes a incredibly fun and complex character, its just hard to enjoy her sometimes with the people in the fandom haha.
also ive got no idea what u meant by "the backlash against them/mia accusations" so sorry if i didnt answer that!
thank u for the ask! sorry for the long response!
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fairyhaos · 5 months ago
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what "morally [x]" are seventeen?
notes: like morally ambiguous, morally grey, morally good, etc. this is quite possibly the weirdest brainrot ive had but this was soo fun to write :>
disclaimer: this is just for fun and im not trying to analyse their "real self". this is kinda ab their game personas yk !!
masterlist
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seungcheol
morally flexible. for him it's less about following his morals and more about winning. morals are just human conceptions, and anyway, people can and do change their morals all the time!! but on the other hand, success and victory lasts forever
jeonghan
morally curious. he recognises what things are morally correct, understands why it's moral to do something, and then sits there for a moment and thinks about whether he wants to do that or if he wants to ignore morals completely. sometimes it's fun to do the wrong thing.
joshua
morally ambiguous. like a grey sky that looks like it'll rain any second, no one knows which way joshua will turn bc he's just so unpredictable. it's not even a matter of being bored. sometimes he does the wrong thing Just Because He Can
junhui
morally clairvoyant (maybe). no one quite understands why he's sticking so fiercely to this one principle, but as the game progresses, it soon becomes clear that it's actually the right thing to do. it's like he knew what to do all along. or he's just lucky.
hoshi
morally chaotic. he's like if morally grey was more colourful and more vivid. he's neither good, nor bad, nor that secret third thing—he's actually the fourth option. the one with flamingo feathers and sequins that hide a truly crazy mind with the most unhinged morals ever
wonwoo
morally neutral. he's just too tired for this, man. also it's funny to look at the side of the morally ambiguous people and watch the weird things they do, even if he doesn't want to be a part of it. he likes observing the side of the angels and the side of the devils.
woozi
morally grey. woozi is peak morally grey bc he does things which can be seen as good and he also does things which can be seen as immoral. but at the end of the day, he's neither truly good nor truly bad. he's just woozi.
minghao
morally secure. he knows what his morals are, and he sticks to them, no matter what. everyone else can do what they like, just so long as they don't try to make him do anything that goes against his own morals. literally the embodiment of "you can kill someone, it's okay, just don't tell me where you hid the body"
mingyu
morally targeted. it doesn't matter what his morals are bc they always end up getting questioned into oblivion bc his hyungs like (affectionately) bullying him like that. are his morals good? are they bad? it doesn't even matter. they're getting targeted no matter what
dokyeom
morally good. he could not be immoral if he tried. even if yoon jeonghan is turning the world on its head during a game of mafia, there's still a part of him that feels like something isn't quite right. his mind may not know what's happening but his heart is still on the side of the angels
seungkwan
morally vocal. veryy noisy when it comes to voicing his morals and his opinions on how things should be done. purely because he gets theeee most upset when jihan play tricks during games bc there!!!! are!!!! rules!!!!!!! and his hyungs aren't following them >:(((
vernon
morally rigid. vernon is just a Really Good Guy, and i feel like that's often overlooked bc his opinions r sometimes really really crazy. doesn't mean he isn't good, though, and he's sticking to what he believes in literally no matter what happens. the world could tell him he Has to do something else and my man will be like "thanks but no thanks ✌"
chan
morally exhausted. he doesn't know what the most moral thing is anymore and honestly he's too tired to figure out what it is. everything is too noisy and too confusing bc up is down and left is right and what good is now bad, and he's just looking forward to going home and leaving the chaos of his friends behind
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pomefioredove · 10 months ago
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angelum
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summary: morally insecure reader type of post: fic characters: rollo additional info: romantic, reader is gender neutral, reader is yuu, yuu is at nbc now, hurt/comfort, a little fluffy, extremely self indulgent, rollo is ptsd coded as per usual
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Perhaps he didn't know you as well as he thought.
But then again, perhaps he didn't want to.
Rollo had become accustomed to the comfortable home you had made yourself within his mind, warm and comforting and far, far away from the dark crevices he worked so hard to stave off.
It mirrored reality, in a sense; he saw it as his duty to keep you safe and away from all the evils of the world, the magic and sin and those who would lead you astray... some days, he felt that he could shrug the rest of his life off his shoulders and solely devote himself to your keeping. Others, he was bothered by nasty thoughts of doubt, those that told him he was only doing to you now what he couldn't have done all those years ago.
Rollo kept himself occupied enough to avoid thinking about it too much.
He did not see a reason to tell you of his mission, of course. You- pure, perfect, untainted by the sins of this world- wouldn't understand. No one would. But you never questioned it, either. Most days, you were simply happy to be treated well (the implications of which he did not want to dwell on; Rollo had made himself a promise not to pry too much about your experience at Night Raven College).
Always so grateful. So kind. Too kind, sometimes, that it caught him off guard. Rollo had not had a friend since...
...Never mind, that.
So perfect. So pure. Everything he could ever aspire to be, but never would, all captured in one person. An angel sent for him, and him alone.
But just as there were things you wouldn't understand about him, there was a sea of mysteries about you.
He can't imagine how you could cause yourself such grief.
Delicately holding your face between his hands, palms gently pressed to each wet, salty cheek, as if you were made of porcelain. He wipes away your tears with his thumbs, not bothering to pull away to retrieve his handkerchief. He can't even think of that right now. Seeing you in such pain is tearing him into halves.
"I'm a bad person,"
"No," he says, almost immediately. His voice sounds more desperate than he would have liked. He can't help it.
"I am,"
He had already spent thousands of nights wishing for some miracle that could heal unseen wounds, but that desire had become stronger than ever now. He would have gladly torn his heart out of his chest and given it to you if it would help.
He hates it. He hates that you make him feel this way. He hates himself for caring so deeply.
Yet, he still can't hate you.
Never you.
"You're not," he insists. "Tell me what's happened. I will make it better."
You don't respond, and it kills him. However you managed to get such an awful idea about yourself, he can't say. Perhaps it came from Night Raven College. Perhaps it's even older than that.
It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, because it is not true.
It's not true.
It's not true.
After all, if you are a bad person, then what does that make him?
You avoid his eyes. "You can't," there's long pause to take a shaky breath. "You can't make it better. I've tried... I've been trying... it doesn't go away. It's like... I've been shattered into a million pieces, and I can't be put back together again."
Rollo winces, though he doesn't show it on his face.
There are these things you do, these brief moments, soft exchanges of words, certain looks on your face, that remind him all too much of himself.
He pities you. He pities himself.
"Stop it," is all he can think to say. "Do not say such things about yourself. You are not broken. You are not evil. Do you think I would dirty myself by associating with such people?"
You're quiet for a long moment. He does not like the silence, so he keeps talking.
"I cannot address what you won't tell me, thought you should know that no matter what you were told at Night Raven College or elsewhere, here, you are valued. You are wanted. You are the most..."
Rollo hesitates for a moment, taking but a second to compose himself and rephrase whatever it was he was about to say.
"...the most exceptional student I have ever met. Your humility is honorable, but I will not allow you to drown in it. Let yourself feel this, recover, but know that here, at Noble Bell, you are nothing less than an angel."
Failing to find anything else to say, another long silence is cast over the room, though this one significantly less tense than the last. The only noise between the two of you is of crackling fire, though it sounds miles away when he looks at you like this.
Eventually, you speak. "...Thank you,"
"My pleasure," he mumbles, finally releasing the hold he's had on your face for the past several minutes and leaning back to get a better look at you. "...Let me help."
He sits a little closer, bringing your head to rest on his shoulder as he's done a thousand times before within the private confines of his room. Though, this time feels...
The purple and gold of his handkerchief cloud your vision as he gently dabs at your tears until he's satisfied, which he marks with a soft hum.
"Don't get up yet," he says after, allowing you to lean against his body for much longer than he has before. "The fire is still warm."
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maxdibert · 3 months ago
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Hey I want to ask you something. I read your blog a lot and have seen information you give about people in certain disadvantaged positions (morally/socio-economically). I am not someone who blindly supports Snape. I simply understand him as a flawed human who tried his best at some atonement. But sheltered as I am, I sometimes wonder is people can truly change? And if someone's atonement is enough?
Snape tried to save everyone, most importantly, but he emotionally scarred him. He attacked a child who had no context about any triggers plaguing Snape. JK Rowling has said on record Snape loathed him, Harry, till he died. But why? How did his immense guilt, which made him save everyone, not be at least neutral with a small child? How is it possible for a human being to be self aware about his grand mistake but then not self aware enough to bring any meaningful day to day change? Spitting on the ground when Gryffindor wins....a 30 year old man. Did only Lily matter and so the mistake he made with her was the only thing he felt guilt for? Not the mistakes he made with others. Isn't that why people say he was obsessed?
Second, Lily is dead. No amount of his "atonement" (which she will never know) will bring her back. So is there any use to atonement or is it just people trying to fix the knot in their throats when they do something bad. Because of Snape's mistake, Lily dies. She will never see Harry grow, never have a career, never have another child, never grow old. So what exactly Snape was trying to do? And for what? For Lily? She is dead and he doesn't seem to care for anyone else. So sure, he saved her child, saved the world....but what's the point. They both probably lay in separate graves, and by the time Severus even began saving Harry, Lily's flesh may already started to fall off her bones in her coffin. So what is the point?
Sorry if its too much; I am 23 and this growing and maturing stage is making me hella confused about everything.
People can change, but they must have the opportunity to change, along with the resources and support to do so. This is something Severus never has. He doesn't decide to change; he feels guilty about how his actions negatively affected someone he cares about, and at first, all he wants to do is try to prevent that mistake from turning into a tragedy. The tragedy happens anyway, and he feels that he owes it to himself and to Lily to somehow avenge everything that has happened in order to make up for the damage. It's not rational, of course Lily isn’t going to come back, but all revenge stories begin when the harm is already done and irrevocable. So, really, it's just a way for him to deal with his own feelings of guilt, his anger, and his sorrow. But still, he doesn't have the space to heal his emotional and psychological wounds. He sells his soul to Dumbledore, who conveniently uses him because he knows Severus is capable of anything to gain the validation of the moral authority (that old man) so that he can feel like he is on the right path. After selling his soul, he stops having his own life. He doesn't have a future plan beyond being useful to Dumbledore and his plans, it’s like a self-imposed sentence. He becomes a teacher, even though he doesn't like it or like children, in the same school where he spent the worst years of his life, where he suffered systematic violence, where adults ignored him and now he has to treat them as "colleagues," where he made his biggest mistakes. You can’t heal in the place of the trauma. He goes back there, and ten years later, a kid shows up who, every time he opens his mouth, reminds him of the person who tortured him nonstop. It's not rational. Severus could rationalize his antipathy toward Harry if he had received psychological help or had been given the tools to heal. He could dislike the kid or simply ignore him because he doesn’t like looking at his face, but not go beyond that. But it’s impossible because, psychologically and emotionally, he is trapped in his teenage years, which are where all his major traumas lie, and Harry’s face sadly makes all of that explode in his head every time they see each other. And since Severus is a deeply dysfunctional adult with terrible emotional control, totally deregulated when something reminds him of his traumatic past, he behaves like an idiot.
He doesn't see Harry as Lily’s son; he sees him as a version of James. And this isn't something exclusive to Severus, Sirius sees him the same way. Sirius also projects his trauma, loss, and guilt onto Harry, but the difference is that Sirius loved James, and Severus hated him. But Sirius is a good example of how Severus isn’t the only one who depersonalizes Harry in favor of James, because he even tries to make him like James, or behave the way James would have. What both of them have in common is that they are adults stuck at a point in their lives that doesn't match their age and are also emotionally unstable. Severus decides to save Harry multiple times because when he really stops to think about it rationally and doesn’t have him in front of him, he knows Harry is Lily's son, and his goal is to keep him alive. But this is something he has to remind himself constantly because his rational side is not the one that acts first; it’s a part he has to force.
I’ve always thought that Severus never forgave himself for being indirectly responsible for the death of the person who had been his attachment figure throughout his life. Deep down, Severus is one of those guys who, if you give them a little affection or acceptance, will follow you to the ends of the earth. He shows this with Dumbledore and even, why not, with the Malfoys. He’s the abused stray dog that, if you give him a bit of food and a home, will sink his teeth into anyone who comes near you to threaten you. The thing with Lily is his unfinished business, regardless of whether the past changes or not, but he feels it that way. I also think that as the years go by, it’s not all about Lily anymore, but he really develops a sense of responsibility toward the magical world. He truly wants to help and genuinely wants to defeat Voldemort, not just because of what happened with Lily, but because he believes that Voldemort needs to fall for genuine reasons. He shows this when, despite knowing that Dumbledore's plan involves sacrificing Harry, instead of refusing and telling him to go to hell, he agrees to move forward. If it were just to protect Lily’s son, he would have stepped away from the plan, but he continues because he genuinely wants to do the right thing, and the right thing is saving as many people as possible, even if it requires sacrifices.
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suzukiblu · 11 months ago
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Ko-fi thank-you sentences for 🦄 behind the cut; obligatory sugar baby Kon.
Good. Let me send you the address, Tim says, and does. Might as well take care of that now, he figures. Kon sends him back a bunch of candy and heart emojis. Tim suffers for a moment and tries to figure out if he can emotionally handle sending any back. 
He tries a lollipop, immediately regrets it and replaces it with a wrapped candy, then regrets that too and tries the neutrality of a normal heart, but that doesn't seem like he's trying hard enough, and he deletes that too and then stares blankly at his empty text box with no idea what to put in it. 
u really liked the glitter? Kon asks, which nearly puts Tim back on the floor to crawl under his bed and hide from his own phone. like its not 2 much?
Not even slightly, Tim says. It looks good on you. 
so like u'd like it if i did it again sometime? Kon asks after a noticeable pause. 
Never mind. Tim does in fact need to crawl in under his bed. 
He'll text back after he gets re-settled, he promises himself, then shoves aside his remaining dirty laundry, slides in sideways, and suffers into his carpet. 
Yes, he texts back blind, hoping autocorrect will save him from any particularly fucked-up typos. 
Kon's text alert sounds after another noticeable pause. Tim steels himself, then peeks at the screen. 
k, it says, and nothing else. Tim wonders . . . it wasn't necessarily flirty, the way Kon asked that. So does that mean . . . 
It really does look good on you, he tries very, very cautiously, hoping he's not, like–making it weird. But Kon showed up in eyeliner and nail polish for their first “official” date and just showed him a new eyeliner he specifically asked someone he knew for help with, and he seemed to like the crop top and the short-shorts, so . . . like, does that mean he's interested in dressing a bit less, well . . . like how Tim would've expected him to want to dress, let's say?
He's really never seen him in civvies before this, so . . . who knows, really? 
all of it? Kon asks after yet another noticeable pause. Tim buries his face in the carpet so he can process the reminder of the lip gloss's existence. Jesus. 
Definitely all of it, he agrees. 
Kon doesn't text back right away. Tim considers following up, and also considers just signing over his entire trust fund to him no strings attached and wandering off to become a hermit so he can, like, survive this experience. 
It probably wouldn't work. He'd end up spending all his time worrying about Kon ending up staying in a lab and thinking it's fine to be there instead of, like . . . meditating, or whatever it is hermits actually do. 
It really does seem like Kon just–doesn't think it matters if he's in a lab, and Tim can't tell if that's because he actually doesn't care, or if it's because he thinks no one else cares. Superman clearly doesn't. Cadmus definitely doesn't. 
And he'd told Robin about it like he hadn't expected him to care either. 
That's really a thought Tim would've preferred to have occur to him while he wasn't actively talking to Kon, though at least they're not face-to-face right now. It's a little easier to not have to worry about his expression while having that sour lemon of a realization. 
Considering Kon's best endorsement of working for Cadmus when he'd been trying to sell it to him had been “could be worse”, though . . . 
Tim actually hates everything in the world, yeah. Aside from a few obvious exceptions of people who he has to either convince to turn supervillain with him or emotionally sidekick-support until such a time as he can turn supervillain, obviously. Just all of it. Whole world. The world just sucks. 
Well, there's a reason he's got supervillain plans, and that reason is definitely not that society is fine and good and morally okay as it is. 
The most moral thing to do in a situation like this is become a supervillain, as far as Tim's concerned.
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wisteria-lodge · 4 months ago
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bird primary + burnt snake secondary
 tl;dr: Fairly sure I'm Lion primary (maybe burned Badger since I sort of envy the idea of close communities, or hedonistic Snake, not sure where that line is)
(the way that divide works out is that basically, Burnt Badgers look like Snakes. They have the Snake's small community, but wish they could cast their net wider. Hedonistic Snakes tend to be more solo, and much more focused on /stuff/. Also, both options make pretty good short-term coping mechanisms.)
but unsure whether my secondary is Bird, Snake/burned Snake, or burned Lion.
I love researching and reverse-engineering and my immediate response to situations is to Google advice, but reactively, not proactively. I am allergic to planning, and prepwork feels stifling and unnatural.
Ooooh, have we got a single-player Environment Snake? (I also think of these as MacGyver Snakes.) Basically just pulling at the things around you in order to solve the problem at hand.
I studied math in college then did a coding bootcamp, and I always felt adrift because both only taught memorizing solutions to individual problems/proofs, not how to solve unfamiliar ones -- i.e., really learning. 
However, I neither consider myself flexible nor want to be, and singleplayer Snake is wayyyyyyyyyyyy more comfortable than stuff involving other people. (Complicating factor: not neurotypical.)
I think I can say, pretty confidently, that this system works just fine if you're not neurotypical. :) There's no reason you have to use the multi-player version if you don't want. The most dramatic single/multi player divide is probably Bookkeeper Badger vs Courtier Badger, and there are lots of people who prefer being just one or the other.
I do the "faces" thing reflexively, in the moment, but it doesn't feel like "shifting" or "becoming" anything: just me, lying.
That's Snake. "Becoming" is more of a word that a Courtier Badger would use, they kinda do have to believe it, or it doesn't work. Snake secondaries are a lot more aware of what they're doing, in the moment.
It's interesting that you are just straight-up using the word lie though. In my experience, Snakes are more likely to conceptualize that particular problem-solving strategy as "say it in a way they'll listen to," or something like that. You might just be super direct (and/or like hanging out in Neutral) buuuut... the negativity of "lie" can sometimes point to a Burnt secondary. No sign of that yet, but I'll keep an eye out for it.
I don't have a moral problem with lying; it's often even right since a) telling the truth often hurts people, and b) people do prefer it: most people want to hear what they want to hear, and if that happens to be the truth that's great.
Hmmm. This is sounding like primary stuff. And it's quite reasoned out, which makes me interested in hearing why you went for Lion primary instead of Bird.
But deep down, I guess I resent it. I wish that when I say what I mean it would convince people rather than create problems. I try to ration that to only things that REALLY matter to me, but tbh many things do. I hate arguing.
What I'm hearing here is the Bird primary fantasy of "If I was only able to explain it exactly right, in precisely the right words, then everyone would agree with me." And as you say earlier, it doesn't actually work like that. It sounds like you're feeling a bit cynical in regards to other people a the moment, and I can't exactly blame you.
I would love to be an inspirational secondary but I am bad at inspiring people.
There is definitely some burnt secondary talk going on here.
Family: I'm not close to my father -- he’s a terrible person, serial cheater, racist, etc. I'm closer to my mother, and don't think she's a bad person, but both parents were hypercritical and have horrible tempers, so my childhood felt horrible to live through since I was always getting yelled at or having corporal punishment used for doing something wrong.
Definitely seeing where the burned secondary energy is coming from, if so many of your formative experiences involved being told that the way you were doing things was wrong. I also see why you might have at least a fascination with the confident, firey, speak-your-truth-and-damn-the-consequences Lion secondary.
(On paper this could be called abusive, and anyone else being subjected to this makes me furious, but I'm not fully comfortable with the label for my situation, even though I know that's inconsistent.) 
I understand, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate your carefully articulated position, and it's slanting me in the direction of Bird primary. Even though this is obviously a topic you are very emotional about, all those emotions are arranged within the framework of thought. You're aware of and okay the fact that you feel all kinds of different ways about what happened.
Any secondary model came from my mom, but I don't know about primary. She always says my sister and I are "the most important things in her life." (One of the reasons I don’t want kids is that I don’t think I could ever believe or promise them that.) She ostensibly also hates my father and their divorce was vicious, but she kept working for him until he retired, goes on trips with him to see my sister or me, and pressured me for years to un-estrange him because “after all, he’s family” until I gave in and now pretend to have a relationship just enough to placate them. I don't have any ethical problems doing this, it's just irritating.
That is very, very unusual family dynamic. Have to get my head around that. Your mom may have some very intense Badger going on, especially with the the whole "after all, he's family" thing. That could fit go with a nasty divorce, especially if she thought his presence was a threat to you and your sister. On the other hand, she might just be able to compartmentalize to an insane degree, which would probably point to Bird secondary.
I don't understand this aspect of my mom; I observe it happening, but I don't understand it. It feels kind of sad, in an existential way. 
Honestly, I agree.
(Another way my dad sucks is that he played favorites with my sister and I, me being the favorite.
Being the Golden Child sucks just as much as being the Problem Child.
The shitty resulting dynamic is I only "care about" his approval to avoid him creating drama that ripples to everyone around him -- he's gotten better but he has literally started shit when I didn't end emails with "love" -- but my sister actually cares about his approval, and it hurts her.)
Secondary-wise, my mom would always harp on me to "pay attention to the people and things around you," and whenever I tell her about solving problems in Snakeish ways she's like "way to go, [me]!" But she also is meticulously planned and scheduled and organized, and hates surprises and not knowing exactly what will happen. She's the kind of person who gets frustrated in April when I haven’t told her my Thanksgiving itinerary, which, like... I don't want to think that far ahead.
She could be either Prep-work secondary, Bird or Badger. If she's a Bird, "pay attention to the people and things around you," points to a a Rapid-Fire Bird (which can look *very* Snakey.) Or it could be a way of describing Courtier Badger. Being that scheduled is more often a Bird thing... but I could also imagine a Badger manifesting like that, especially if she is so concerned with specifically planning holidays.
Low-stakes/high-stakes problem that felt good: This is a high-stakes problem containing a low-stakes problem. I'm rolling them together because they illustrate both aspects of my problem solving.
Higher stakes: That coding bootcamp required being on Zoom 8 hours every day. But I had 3 roommates (part of why I did it was to not have 3 roommates), and they didn't want me there that much. I can't go to coffee shops because either they're loud, or I will make them loud by talking for 8 hours, thus becoming the problem. Coworking spaces are expensive af. I even consider renting a storage unit but I don't think they have power and wifi. The idea I settle on is sneaking onto a nearby college campus: preferably the CS building, to blend in. I scour the college subreddit for posts about what buildings let students in without ID, then scout them out (this is March, the thing doesn't start until May, I'm just high on must-solve-now energy). After ~15 minutes (lol) of walking through campus I decide I've had enough, seems doable. The day of, I leave early in case I have to give up and go home, but that turned out to be completely pointless because tailgating in is shockingly easy. Like it's scary how easy it is. One day a security officer stopped me but even he eventually let me in after I acted increasingly frazzled and panicked -- not ENTIRELY an act but I definitely was playing it up.
I like this story. And I feel good about saying that it is QUITE snakey: what do I have immediately around me, and how can I use it to get what I want in this moment? Even little details like - you're not bothering to come up with a cover story or borrow/forge someone's ID. If you're caught you'll talk your way out of it. You did a little research, then scoped the place out, then were good to go.
Lower stakes: I usually did classes from an empty auditorium (students weren't supposed to be there but no one checked, and also I'm not a student right?). The whiteboard's eraser stand was a few inches away from the wall, and one day I drop my phone in the gap. Shit. The gap's way too high to reach down. I can't ask anyone for help because I'm already 2 layers deep of being somewhere I'm not supposed to be. The stand screws to the wall, but I don't have a screwdriver because who just carries a screwdriver around? (For whatever reason, going to a hardware store didn't occur to me.) I stare at the thing until I realize: I am literally in the ENGINEERING building. I search various offices, ask people for a screwdriver, but no luck. Then I see a board listing the departments. One floor has a "makerspace," and somehow, its door is wide open (the student lounge is locked down but the room with deadly power tools isn't, ???) I grab 5 sizes of screwdriver, then also grab duct tape and a ruler to fish my phone out in case the screwdrivers don't work, which turned out to be a good idea because they didn't
Sounds to me to me like you just MacGyvered a solution :D
One thing I am picking up on is your subtle critique of the existing rules/systems. Getting in via tailgateing is easier than it should be, talking your way past the guard was too easy. The door with the powertools really should be locked, etc. It's making me (again) think Bird primary for you. You've very tuned into the way things run, and how well designed (or not) that is. There's also just a little bit of Birdy rules-lawyer in "Students aren't allowed in this room, but I'm not a student (because I snuck in.)"
Hard decision-making process…. I don’t know. I don’t experience many decisions as hard. I often know what I want to do right away; the difficult part is doing it.
In the language of this system, that's a Burnt secondary.
Or I know what I should do, am obligated to do, have no choice but to do, etc., though sometimes it feels miserable or wrong, like resignation.
Unfortunately that is what it feels like to have a Burnt secondary - you just use whatever problem-solving strategy you can at random, since they all feel like a chore and it doesn't really matter.
I can feel proud of making certain "right" choices in an abstract self-congratulatory way, but I never like it or really feel good about it. I either act on something immediately or put it off until the decision makes itself, a drop-dead deadline approaches, I get bored/impulsive enough to do it on the spot, or I suddenly swerve my life toward something I like better.
You're definitely an Improvisational secondary. Which is really fine, even though I know it doesn't feel that way all the time when you come from a family of intense Prep-work people. Just keep an eye on that 'wait until the deadline' impulse. It's very, very common for neurodivergent people to use that last-minute stress adrenaline to kind of hack their brain, and it's not sustainable.
I'd wanted to change careers for years but the actual decision to do the bootcamp was an impulse based on ~3 hours' research the day I encountered it.
That can absolutely work though. You *are* working on the problem and mulling it over in your head long term, even if you are (in the words of another snake secondary) "waiting for the opportune moment."
This is all healthy and well-adjusted, and it definitely has never caused any predictable problems! (Did get a job though.)
Hey, if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid.
My fantasy: To be successful and well-known in my field; to create the kind of art I want to create and have it be respected/influential. To live the life I want, with the aesthetic I want, and the opportunities from others and follow-through from me to achieve that. The details vary based on the field but that's the general template. 
I'd say that's a very human fantasy, without too many details that slant me one way or the other, in terms of this system. There's definitely a focus on the community around you and how you relate to it/integrate into it. And that makes me think Bird (the external primary) is more likely than Lion (the internal primary.)
Characters: I relate to characters who are flawed in the same ways I am -- they feel like cautionary tales -- or sometimes via empathizing in a way the story doesn’t (Carlotta from Phantom got done DIRTY).
It's interesting that you respond to characters who the narrative framing doesn't support, because the narrative framing doesn't support them. I guess that does fit with your interest in constructed systems, and if they're useful/functional or not. Which points to Bird.
On that big pop culture character test I always get Hannah from Girls and Gaius Baltar from Battlestar Galactica: harsh, but not wrong.
(I always get Inara from Firefly and Céline from Before Sunrise.)
It's been a second since I've seen Girls or Battlestar Galactica, but I do think that both of those characters are Bird Snakes, which is honestly impressive since Bird Snakes are easily the least common fictional archetype.
Baltar is clever, adaptive, reactive, he pulls from around him. He also bluffs and will *act* like he's an expert when he really isn't. A lot of his internal conflict revolves around extremely Bird primary rationalization - is this situation really his fault? and if it is, what is he morally/rationally supposed to do about it (if anything?) "Voice of *a* generation" Hannah also has this way of getting caught in her own feedback loops when trying to figure herself out. One of my favorite moments is the bit where she loses her purse on the way back from the wedding, and then rides the train all the way to Coney Island, sits on the beach and eats the slice of wedding cake while watching the sun rise. I think that's beautiful, and a very Snake secondary response.
I also gravitate toward a specific archetype: Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire, Madame Bovary, Violetta from La Traviata. People who desire an impossible thing deeply and unshakably, temporarily achieve it, and are taken down dramatically.
Now that, I'm thinking is a story structure that you like. And/or you're drawn to these tragic great ladies, living most of the way in a fantasy world. It's a good, cathartic archetype.
What makes me feel powerful: I don’t really resonate with that framing. The closest is that feeling like I have no options is the same for me as feeling powerless.
Okay, "not feeling powerless," I'll take it. And we're back to that Burnt secondary again. I'm hoping you'll leave your Snake a little more room to breathe and play, because it seems like you're a pretty capable person. You manage to do the things you want to get done, and you have an excellent awareness of what are good and bad situations, both for you and just in general.
Thank you to anonymous for such an excellent submission. If you'd like a Sorting of your very own, commissions are open on my ko-fi. :D
If you'd like to read more about the system I'm using, my explanation is right here.
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boopshoops · 11 months ago
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💆 and 🏘 for yuu if thats alright?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
OK- so a lot of yall asked for the same emojis SO i'm gonna format Yuu's all in one post then do another for Jocia+Ezra-
UHHH DJJDJD THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ANSWERING QUESTIONS IN CHARACTER so lets say the default text is me/narrator then orange is Yuu
@ceruleancattail @the-trinket-witch @rabioa @scint1llat3
💆how do you relax?
"Well, let's get right into it then, shall we?" Yuu clasped her hands together, a sly smile spreading onto her lips, "Relaxation... well I guess listening to music would be my go to. Genre doesn't matter to me mostly," The woman tapped her chin, lightly humming as she thought, "Though I suppose my definition of 'relaxing' isn't exactly universal... I often enjoy getting up and around and even dancing a bit, maybe having a quick chat as well... it helps me center myself. Too many thoughts in this big brain of mine sometimes!~ A way to focus is most definitely what relaxation is to me. Some people find it chaotic, but I don't care about some people. It's fun to me. Besides, it's not like I never sit down and rest."
🏘️where's your happy place?
"Huh... some of these questions are rather deep, aren't they?" Yuu cleared her throat, doing her best to keep a neutral expression, "Much like a lot of people, my happy place isn't an actual PLACE. It is more like a state. All that being said, I'm... not quite sure. Not to say that I'm not happy, of course! There are hard times and good times, but I suppose I'm still trying my best to find such a 'place' for me in this new world. Let's call this one a work in progress, yes? I'll get there eventually, not to worry. I have my plans, of course~"
✏️What are your hobbies?
"Oh! This is a fun one. I'm a musician. I have been taking band and theater courses my whole life," Yuu lifted her head triumphantly, gladly taking the opportunity to brag, "Singing, acting, playing instruments... I managed to get into a pretty prestigious performing arts school back home, and what more could one ask for than to spend their life doing what they love?" Her peppiness suddenly dropped, resulting in a roll of her eyes, "Not that it's useful now that I'm stuck here though. Damn Crowley."
🥣what's your favorite food?
"Bungeoppang!" The prefect chirped, leaning forward in her (imaginary) seat for this (imaginary) interview, "Or, ah- taiyaki, or bread with a sweet red bean filling. I was trying to learn more about my ancestry, and came across this pastry thanks to my father. Originally I didn't think I was the biggest fan of sweets, but, wow~ Only then, after I fell in love with it, did I learn it wasn't even a traditional dish from my father's home... figures. Nonetheless! You'll have to try some!"
"Ah, Here's a fun fact for you, I learned the language a long time ago along with trying to learn more about my family's history, but no one here seems to recognize it, which... makes sense, I guess. It was a bummer at first, but then I learned I can simply say whatever I want without them understanding me. What a breath of fresh air~"
The woman momentarily giggled, "...배고파요"
🙂where do your morals lie?
"Hmph. What a complete 180 of a question..." Her lips pursed into a pout. She offered up a quick glare, but it didn't last very long at all, "I'm just trying my best to exist and let others exist at the moment!" She beamed with the flip of a switch, her suspiciously innocent smile nearly blinding. She kept this one brief. Barely an answer.
🥰do you think you're attractive?
"Yes," The woman answered... almost too quickly, "I like how I look. I spend a lot of time on myself, so it's only natural to get a bit of an ego boost from that, yes? Confidence is a healthy thing! I spent a lot of time carefully crafting my sense of style, it makes me feel... like me." Yuu momentarily fluttered her lashes, accompanied by laughter through a rhythmic tease, "Come onnnn~ you get it, right? You know I'm just a sweetheart? Completely innocent and well-meaning? Aren't I just like a princess? Of COURSE I'm attractive."
😍are you a romantic?
"....Hm," The woman paused, thinking deeply about the question in a moment of silence, "It depends on what your definition of 'romantic' is in this case, but I'd say I'm rather neutral. It's been awhile since I've been in a relationship myself, so I can't really say for sure..." Yuu tilted her head, crossing one leg over the other as she leaned back in her seat. Striking a pose to simply ponder.
"I'm not a hopeless romantic, but I highly value romantic gestures. Does that make sense? I particularly value physical touch along with gift receiving as far as love language goes. At least, that's how it used to be with my ex-girlfriend. I don't think that has changed too much. So, hey! If you're interested, feel free to just hand over your credit card as a gift, I'll get back to you," The woman finished with a joke, attempting to turn the mood away from being sour.
"ALSO HELLO YUU SHI YOU ARE GORGEOUS HELLO LIKE ARE YOU AN ANGLE FROM HEAVEN??? CAUSE YOU'RE A-CUTE"
The prefect blinked, leaving an uncomfortable amount of awkward silence as she read the words on the page of (imaginary) interview questions.
She held back a snort, doing her best to hide a guilty grin along with her horrible sense of humor, "Wh-Who wrote this? Who wrote these questions?" She giggled to herself, setting down the page in finality, "Sevens, that's awful... I love it. I'm well aware, but thank you. I needed the laugh today."
"Will that be all?"
Ask game!
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senka-mesecine · 5 months ago
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What do you think the boys favorite thing personality wise is about the reader. Like what kind of person do they prefer and admire.
---
― Chris would admire and gravitate towards someone who's fundamentally good. Who's righteous, especially when met with adversity and hardship. Someone who has a clear cut sense of right and wrong. Someone who has strongly set ideals and morals they don't flinch from easily, if at all. Someone who can be looked up to. A person who follows their own path even if said path isn't always the most popular or well threaded path to walk down or even if they're walking down it all alone. The person in question doesn't even have to be tremendously loud about this character trait or virtue signal it all the time, in fact, it is preferable they don't, because in don't tooting their own horn, they're effectively demonstrating how honest and genuine their whole compass is. Just the quiet, down to earth sort of conviction that the truth and commonplace day-to-day goodness is on their side and that time will tell they were correct all along --- and this, by extension? It is possibly the most lofty character trait Taylor could ever admire in another human being.
― One would think O'Neill would look favorably upon a person who's not only tough as nails and merciless, and even ruthlessly so due to his association and ass-kissing levels of support of individuals like Barnes, but I do think that deep, deep, deep down, the very opposite is true and even though Red wouldn't admit to it willingly, he'd actually secretly admire someone who's keen on giving him a goddamn break every once in a while. Yeah. You've heard that right. Red O'Neill wants a goddamn break. And someone who has a rare tolerant streak? Who's ready to go easy on him, repeatedly so? Shows him some clemency? While he might not demonstrate it openly, he'd be entirely blown out of left field by this because when was the last time that ever happened, huh? Yeah, that's right. Not in recent memory. His own ingrained habits run so deep, in fact, he might just openly mock his admired person's attempts to be lenient on him because that's what ought to be done to keep up a macho facade. In actuality? Man's at a loss for words.
― Bunny possibly lacks the foresight or wisdom necessary to have a clear cut set of character traits that he could classify into the 'I admire' and 'I don't admire' boxes respectively and if he was pressed on the matter, he'd probably say something entirely lewd, inappropriate or wholly horrendous, in the vein of 'I sure admire I get ass from so and so'. That's Bunny for you, in a nutshell. Simply put, the very fact you're his person is already a cause for him to annoyingly and perversely run his mouth nonstop about you to the degree he's boring everyone's asses off within earshot. He's got firmly set tunnel vision, sure, but it's safe to say that whoever his babe is, he's gonna like everything about them through sheer virtue that he 'scored that', so basically, if you squint hard enough, he simultaneously the most widely accepting and most wildly unaccepting person in the world; both wholly not picky and extremely picky. Which character traits he admires? Uh, all of them? Whatever you's got goin', he might say, and that's the entirety of Bunny's philosophical view on the matter.
― Having undoubtedly met a whole barrage of hotheads in his day who lost their lives over nothing, Rhah could very well admire a person's temperance --- someone who knows when to be passionate and someone who knows when to cool down. Someone who can have fun when fun is warranted and someone who can be serious when it's necessary. Someone who could be seen neutral, in ways, when it matters. Dare I say, an occasional centrist? It's this middle ground, balanced approach to life that keeps people alive in the first place and an individual with enough foresight to understand that instead of being needlessly swept up by rhetoric, ideals and zeal is someone Rhah could have a very favorable opinion of, albeit, in a very subdued, private way because he lives by his own words and he wouldn't want to get swept up in being preferential to anyone too badly, even though he is towards you and that's obvious to anyone with eyes. But, that's his own problem, and nobody else's, he might think. He likes your good sense. It's a rare thing to have. Genuinely sees you as a kindred spirit who 'gets it' due to it. Like you've cracked some great universal truth by just being you.
― King's a positive, hopeful person by nature and it can be fair to say he admires more than anything people who are positive and hopeful too; who never fail to see the good side of any crappy situation. Who believe a better tomorrow's possible in spite of the odds. The future? The future can turn around on you and be helluva of a wonderful place so long as a person's alive and breathing on this Earth --- so long as you draw breath, everything still has the chance to turn out fine. That the sun is shining, birds are chirping and that it's all good, man. Individuals who walk into any room and their good energy and vibes, their smile alone, just manages to brighten the place up like a lightbulb. Yeah. It's all bullshit to him, any other set of traits in existence, if this one quality isn't down to a tee seeing as how this is something his own personality encompasses as well. Along with all of that, it's fair to throw in that he looks up to people who are devoted. Have their loyalties and priorities straight. Who know their friends from their enemies and stick by them. But, on top of all that? Yes, this quality of positivity. That's the real deal to him.
― Geez, I downright see Wolfe nonironically admiring someone he can complain to, or to reiterate, someone to whom he can spill out all the things that bug him and actually be listened to because this is (possibly) a man with about ten thousand grievances bottled up and ten thousand ways in which he couldn't articulate these grievances to nobody due to all the empty vacuum of air he needed to keep floating around himself in order to maintain just the vague illusion of authority. But, point is, I think it's plausible to say there was about a million times Wolfe wanted to just let it all out and tell someone about all the shit but he just couldn't, so when he finds an ear actually willing to listen --- someone who cares --- who isn't about to belittle him, make fun of him or see him as lesser than, someone who might actually give him a space to talk and be heard, that's genuinely a quality he'd think the world of to the degree it's hard to believe for the longest time this person's real and not just covertly mocking him. It's not necessarily empathy itself in the general sense that Wolfe admires --- just empathy directed at him and him alone, almost selfishly so.
― Elias would appreciate above all else a person's capacity for spirituality --- perhaps not necessarily organized religion in the classical sense or some sort of fanatical zealot (quite the opposite) but he'd definitely admire a person who believes in some sort of higher force. A higher power in whatever capacity. A person who has their third eye open to see past all of this physical, temporal bullshit and understand the greatness of...well...everything. That's not the stoner in him talking, he just genuinely has the belief in anything ranging from rebirth, reincarnation and heck, returning as the wind or a lone deer after he dies and yes, he'd above all else admire a person who'd share his mystic, almost transcendent streak and who'd understand that life consists of neither war, nor strife or nor politics nor any of this. That's not what matters. What matters is the soul. The intangible. And you can call it The Universe, Karma or just about whatever you like, but if you understand nobody ever truly leaves and that everything's connected, Elias might just be pacified by that. Like you are aware he's never truly leaving you, no matter what happens to him. He is with you always.
― Barnes admires intelligence; not exactly book intelligence or book smarts. Chances are, he can't stand people who wave scholarly theory in his face instead of possessing good, old practical knowledge. He doesn't expect you to understand quantum physics, that's for sure. Doesn't even expect you to have street smarts --- but more in the sense of lived experience, observations and god-given wisdom regardless of your age; something a person either has or they don't have. Something that cannot be taught. Just something that's...there. And he notices. Oh, does he ever. He can differentiate a naturally wise individual with a good head on their shoulders from someone only pretending to be one by just looking at them and that person who is acute, sensible, prudent and discerning without being in anyone's face about it? The understated type of smarts? Yeah. He admires that more than anything even though he is fiercely closed off about the fact he admires anyone or anything at all. Might just keep it wholly to himself. Huge honor coming from him of all people, though. Barnes thinking you're insightful and smart? Someone worth listening to? It's like hell freezing over, that's how rare that is.
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fierceawakening · 2 years ago
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So somehow I ended up with a post from one of the rationalist types I'd eventually blocked and man... it's interesting to look back at what they have to say after having curated it away for a while.
Because at the time I was arguing with them, I felt like it was really important to figure out the flaw in their logic and prove it, and now I just feel like... it's such a profoundly different way of thinking from my own that... it's not that I'm saying "stay in your echo chamber, it's not worth it to consider other ways of seeing things," but it is that... "that's an interesting way of seeing things in the abstract, but it's too foreign to me for me to use it to make any policy recommendations. I wouldn't know where to even begin."
The issue at hand was guns, and the person was basically saying that in order to have an opinion on gun control you'd need to demonstrate basic understanding of the mechanics of how guns work, including specifics about the AR-15 if that's the gun you deem most in need of regulating.
Basically, the argument was "I wouldn't be a good person to opine on infrastructure policy if I'd never studied how bridges work. The people deciding policy about guns should be the people with the intense special interest in them."
The OP attributed why this isn't the case, why so many people who are vocal about wanting gun control are clueless on how guns work, to a strange moralization of disgust. They shouldn't be grossed out by the gun. They should study and examine and think about the gun, in a dispassionate way.
And this is where they lost me.
At the time I was arguing with it, "does empathy matter for morality" was the animating discussion I was having with these people. And they were saying that no, it doesn't, it's all emotiony and reckless and all that weird lizard brain junk makes people fearful and reactive, not good.
Where the thing they're glossing as "weird disgust at a machine" Is, very often, "horrible memories of someone using that machine to induce the worst trauma of my entire life."
Yes, they care about the machine. But they don't care about it in a nerdy kind of, "is this the best machine for the goal of killing my best buddy in homeroom?" kind of way. They care about it in "when the person pointed that at my best buddy in homeroom THEY DIED" kind of way.
It's not... right... to just gloss over that as disgust, I don't think. It misses that what people are reacting to aren't just DISGUSTING acts (though they are that), but profoundly and fundamentally IMMORAL ones.
Is an AR-15 immoral? Not any more than a cross is that someone has set on fire.
But if someone has set a cross on fire, it's LIKELY that they mean for their action to be interpreted in a particular way that IS immoral.
Which is what people think you're doing when you wear your rifle someplace random. "I know that this has been and will continue to be used to slaughter the innocent. I'm wearing it precisely because that makes me look badass."
Is that what those protesters actually mean? Not necessarily (though I think the Three Percenter types probably do, sorry not sorry.) But it's reasonable for people to see it that way.
Which I think is the whole reason I was defending empathy as a part of morality anyway. Whatever the specifics, moral emotion isn't something that's just tacked on to morality I don't think. We're social, so actions carry meaning.
When we do actions that we know frighten or horrify others to make a point, we're not ALWAYS assuming they'll be neutral observers or that they'll have an exposure therapy that wasn't so bad experience seeing us.
Sometimes, we're FUNDAMENTALLY BANKING on the idea that they won't.
And that's a bit mean, hence me (perhaps overly) recommending empathy as a point against doing that.
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mesaprotector · 8 months ago
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was reading recently about the "to be lawful or good" trope (follow orders/respect rule of law, or do what's right?), and it occurred to me that western values are so idealistic on the matter that "good" is almost always chosen, and a character who believes the law is the greater good is usually painted as morally dubious and hypocritical. tvtropes points out that in the parallel "to be chaotic or good" dilemmas protagonists almost always choose chaotic. i guess that makes sense from the point of view of fiction as wish fulfillment, and the ideal world for an american is one where they can do whatever they want without consequences.
psycho-pass is a really good example of media where this does not happen. anime in general tends to be more respectful of "lawful" values, sometimes to excess from my own western point of view (too many anime i've seen, workplace abuse is "dealt" with by learning to work harder). but urobuchi at least has a nice concept of what a balance can look like. (spoilers below, of course).
akane tsunemori is the most lawful good character to ever lawful good. she has constant positive intentions, cares for everyone in her society, and does so by enforcing and interpreting the law - and would not have it any other way. there's an amazing quote from her near the end of s1 (i have not seen the later seasons):
"People have always detested evil and sought out a righteous way of living. Their feelings, the accumulation of those peoples feelings are the law. They’re neither the provisions, nor the system. They’re the fragile and irreplaceable feelings that everyone carries in their hearts."
when faced with "to be lawful or good", she never once gives up on the law, no matter what. she has at least two chances to kill a dangerous villain outright and rejects both as being against orders; when the law itself tries to ensnare someone she loves, she finds a way out by following the rules instead of just breaking them like any other hero would.
dungeons and dragons kind of threw the alignment system at players and told them "you, there, interpret this". it's difficult and a lot to ask. from the little experience i have with it, most players only care about good/neutral/evil, and as for law vs. chaos they're just treated like different flavors of ice cream. it's far more compelling to treat them as equally important - a lawful good character and a chaotic good character are as far apart, morally, as a lawful good and a lawful evil one.
psycho-pass s1 doesn't have a chaotic good character. the closest it gets is kagari, who could perhaps be called chaotic neutral (though i have trouble calling any literal cop chaotic, he was essentially forced into the role). but it does have a fantastic example of a chaotic vs. lawful conflict, just on the evil side - makishima vs. sibyl.
i think where i wanted to go with this is that part of maturity is learning that two people, or groups of people, who are fighting, may very well both be righteous, and talking it out is often not a solution. i think most modern politics is like this, but that's just my feeling. there are some fairly evil people around, to be sure, but the vast majority of people are not - and recognizing that those different from you are in some ways righteous, and that you yourself are in some ways capable of evil - is really a critical sort of humility.
i might be a little too thrilled with myself for having realized this so early - i was the only kid in my class who liked "lord of the flies", and i still do like it. tumblr used to really have a thing about hating it back when the audience on this website had an average age of 16. i hope those people who insisted "but i'd never have grown up to do anything bad" have learned better since. but looking at how many older people (including apparently most writers) haven't gotten the memo, i'm not too sure.
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miradelletarot · 8 months ago
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You know another irl job that would work for Gale aside professor? Detective. I don't know, something about that really suits him. If you want to share how you would picture it then please share!
Have a good day!
I had to give this some thought honestly, and at first, I was inclined to disagree simply because of his alignment (According to the Gale Dekarios Wiki, the game says he's true neutral).
Just in case, spoilers for Gale's storyline are ahead.
Mira's Maunderings: I DISAGREE with him being true neutral because his in-game interactions point to him being a more neutral good character alignment. Depending on how you play him, however, you could possibly sway him, but he needs A LOT of convincing (Persuasion checks) to do stuff that isn't inherently *good*. If we are talking about God!Gale though, he is most certainly true neutral because he simply doesn't interfere. He merely exists, and as long as one has the drive and ambition to do what they set their hearts out to do, he supports it regardless of whether or not they are good or evil (yet he still does not get involved because that's not what he does or wants to do.)
One could argue that is desperate times, he is willing to do something morally grey, but that's where the neutrality comes in. But that's a whole long ass topic I really don't wanna dive into rn (b/c I'm lazy and tired, and honestly, it's been discussed by others before and far more eloquently than I could ever convey).
So, *IF* we are to throw the canon alignment out the window and go by the assumption that he's neutral good, I think him being a detective would be a solid choice. Why? Because deep down, he's a good person, and just wants to see people happy and safe. Knowing he could play a part in that goal would fill him with satisfaction and even validation. I see the "morally grey" neutrality coming into play when it comes to matters of lawfulness.
Let's say, in a situation where there was a victim who endured a horrific crime (I'm talking some dark shit that i won't outline...use your imaginations,) and the criminal was caught (and it was known beyond a shadow of a doubt that this person was, indeed, the criminal,) Gale would be inclined to 'turn the other cheek' if it meant justice for that person would be served better outside of the legal system. A little tweak of paperwork here and there and make it look like a freak accident or literally anything else. Perhaps enough to raise an eyebrow of suspicion from his colleagues, but not enough for them to care otherwise because at the end of the day, justice was served. (This is only one example, but hopefully you see what I am going for here).
If he were lawful neutral the extent of his lawful nature wouldn't necessarily be good. it could be, but it could also be evil. If he were lawful good, that criminal would be caught and sent to face justice "the correct" way, and be hauled off to jail for the legal system to deal with as the laws of the land intended. Whether or not true justice for the victim(s) actually gets served wouldn't be up to him to decide.
If we look at Gale as true neutral (as is canon,) I really think this could have the capacity to take him down the road of "dirty cop" material. (arguably, so could lawful neutral, but i'm going with his canon stuff rn so go with me on this journey if you would.)
A true neutral detective Gale would likely be someone who is so disenfranchised with his profession, and would probably quit if it didn't afford him some liberties that a badge comes with. Maybe he was good once, and truly believed in the system at large. Over time, just becomes jaded, perhaps overworked, and under appreciated for his efforts. But, he'd have a pension, and stability. It's sensible, albeit a little dangerous at times. Still, it's not a pleasant lifestyle. Perhaps he's alone, just barely above paycheck to paycheck. Maybe he's suffered from permanent compassion fatigue among other things. He becomes more aloof.
I think if an opportunity opened up to him for him to get in on something a bit nefarious, or he accidentally got swept up in a case that now he simply knows too much, he might hate it at first. Hate himself for what he's become, but logically, he knows there's no way out of it that doesn't end his life with a period. (if you know what I mean). Then again, he could decide to take a position of power because he thinks he can do better and get corrupted in the process.
Imho, this is kinda how we end up with God!Gale because he is so done with gods and their ways. How they meddle with people and use them as play things.
His superiors and the local government play bureaucratic games instead of focusing on actually helping people, or making their jobs better. He grows tired of it, just as in-game Gale grows tired of the Gods, and decides to take matters into his own hands thinking he can do better. In the end, he would be no better than them (if not arguably worse).
idk, i went on a huge alignment tangent, and i fear i didn't totally answer your question, but this is what my brain did to me since you sent this, Anon so...suffer with me lmao.
Thanks for this ask though! This was a fun consideration, and of course if anyone has anything to add please share your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!
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batmanisagatewaydrug · 1 year ago
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cw: mentions of fatphobia, body image issues, gendered beauty standards
hey sex witch! love and appreciate your sex ed posts and the resources you've shared. i noticed that you've answered some asks about becoming more comfortable with expressing sexual attraction, and finding ways to see yourself as desirable -- i was wondering if you had any similar thoughts about becoming more comfortable with other people expressing attraction to you, especially verbally. it's something i'd really like to start enjoying in a casual way (i'm more okay with it within a long-term relationship or a kink dynamic, partly because it's something i can negotiate), but it's pretty consistently something that feels "off" for me and kills my interest. i don't want to react that way! i actively want to enjoy it, especially with people i otherwise like and connect with, and i feel like i might enjoy it a lot someday if the circumstances were right or if i changed my mindset/framing. plus, i know that i really like complimenting people i'm attracted to (if i know that they like it and i know what it means to them), and i'd like that to be a mutual thing.
to be clear, i haven't experienced sexual trauma, i'm nondysphoric (transmasc), and i'd say that i really like my appearance (in a nonsexual/aesthetic sense), so i think i can rule out a few of the common reasons that people feel this way. others have suggested that i might be aspec/demisexual when i've talked about my experiences, but i've gone through that particular questioning process before (and identified as aroace/"not interested" for most of my life), and i feel like it's probably something else.
i think a significant part of the problem is that when people have flirted with me/said that i'm physically attractive, they've usually referenced beauty standards that i'm both very opposed to and which are at odds with my sexuality and what i see as beautiful. i'm a guy who's always been viewed as thin and as having a "conventionally androgynous" (?) body type, and i've generally been attracted to people with body types and/or presentations that are noticeably different from mine -- that includes feminine-presenting people, fat and chubby people, and trans and gnc people who present in ways that combine masculinity and femininity. i've pretty much never been attracted to men who look like me. but when people compliment me on my appearance, they often compliment my body type or size directly or indirectly, and i feel like there's a certain undertone of "i'm labeling you as attractive because you don't look like Those People." i don't want to be around that attitude, and i don't find it flattering or "nice."
i generally wouldn't want to assume that a person who uses these compliments actually has extremely normative views on sex, is fatphobic, etc., and i believe that attraction is morally neutral no matter what your "type" is. it's not like i don't have specific preferences myself, though i probably have some biases that i'm not yet aware of. the whole idea of people being attracted to you because of aspects of your appearance that you didn't choose is...inherently messy, i think. i also know that in most cases, i can just leave, or ask people not to talk about me in these terms. but i still find the whole thing alienating and off-putting, to such an extent that i feel disconnected from most discussions and portrayals of sexuality, especially re: attraction to men. and that's on top of having to deal with the very common assumption that it's a universal experience for women and trans people to hate their bodies and want certain types of validation (but that's kind of a separate issue that i won't get into here).
do you have any thoughts on how to navigate this? i feel like i might be missing something important, but maybe i just need to understand and accept what doesn't work for me.
thanks!
hi anon,
I hate to be so brief when you've presented me with a veritable novella, but listen: you've already answered your own question here.
if I'm reading this right sounds like what you're experiencing isn't an issue of disliking compliments because you lack self esteem, but disliking compliments that are focusing on your body in ways that you don't enjoy. the problem in this scenario really isn't on your end. no matter how well-meaning people might be, you're not under any obligation to make yourself enjoy compliments that make you uneasy, and I'm certainly not going to be the person who tries to tell you how considering I operate my own life almost entirely around the notion that if it sucks, one must hit da bricks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
you already said it yourself: if you don't like the way someone talks to you, especially if they're someone you'd like to continue having a relationship and building rapport with, the best move is to ask them not to talk about you that way. (if they're someone you'll never see again and don't give a shit about, by all means just blow it off.) if they're not cool with that boundary, awesome! you've learned something very important about them and can terminate that potential relationship immediately.
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buriedhonor · 1 month ago
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JAKE MULLER
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extra :
✧﹒playlist ✧﹒pinboard
✧﹒faceclaim :
names/nicknames :
✧﹒jake wesker muller
orientation/identity :
✧﹒nonbinary (masc presenting) ✧﹒bisexual
✧﹒he/him
languages :
fluent:
✧﹒serbian ✧﹒english ✧﹒german ✧﹒italian
advanced:
✧﹒cantonese
limited:
✧﹒greek / arabic
ethnicity:
✧﹒edonian
physical characteristics :
✧﹒6'3 ✧﹒176lbs
age :
20 at the time of RE6 , age varies depending on verse
hobbies :
✧﹒martial arts ✧﹒piano ✧﹒combat
✧﹒motorcycles
fears
✧﹒none on record
occupations :
✧﹒A mercenary by trade , Jake typically takes whatever contracts he decides he wants to get his hands on , and typically has very high asking prices for his skills. He continues with this post Lanshiang but tends to keep a lower profile though still remains in close contact with Sherry Birkin.
tattoos :
✧﹒None .
scars :
✧﹒Most well-known and evident one is the knife slash across his left cheek. Several others are littered throughout his body from multiple fights and altercations he got himself involved in.
alignments :
✧﹒chaotic neutral
love languages :
comprehensive :
A BRASH AND JADED INDIVIDUAL , Jake doesn't really care about how he presents himself to others and generally makes himself a problem when he's challenged or dismissed.
OFTEN PRIORITIZING HIMSELF OVER OTHERS , Jake is not what you'd call self sacrificial. There is exactly one other individual he'd look out for beside himself , and that's Sherry during and post RE6 . He will save his own skin and leave you to figure yourself out, and has a strong sense of self preservation.
UNAPPROACHABLE , Jake's cynicism makes him an intimidating figure to approach and attempt to strike up a conversation with, and he's very much less than friendly . He doesn't particularly care about the morals of the people who employ him - he has no time for anybody else's problems and typically only trusts one thing - money .
BUILDING UP A STRONG PERSONA of being a toughened mercenary, Jake hides himself behind a secretive personality that keeps his emotions in check and hardens himself, and his smartass attitude and frequent quippy nature tends to hide his more introverted nature. Behind the mask lies a neglected child who lost a childhood he should have had, but that's not a side or even a concept that he'll let anyone into, given his own choice in the matter.
history/backstory :
Muller was born in a single-parent household in Edonia. Previously an émigré to the United States, Muller's mother returned to her home country pregnant, having broken up with her partner Dr. Albert Wesker, then an Umbrella intelligence agent, who was unaware of his son. As she still loved him, Muller was raised to respect his father, who he privately considered a "dead-beat". When his mother fell ill sometime in the early 2000s, they fell into arrears.Seeking a means to support her, Muller entered work as a mercenary, possibly starting with the Edonian Liberation Army, in 2007. Unskilled, he was quickly drilled by an instructor to taught him not only to fight, but to trust and support his unit.
Travelling across the world, by 2009 Muller was operating in South America with the same unit. It was wiped out in an ambush, Muller surviving by fighting hand-to-hand with one of the attackers, himself armed with a knife. When it was discovered the ambush occurred because their trainer sold them out, Muller lost his faith and trust in others, and for the next three years built up a reputation in not caring for the ideologies of those he fought for, only caring about the money.Working for various paramilitaries including those in the Middle East, Muller built up a reputation for his lack of conviction.
He encountered Sherry Birkin not long after , and spent a good deal of time travelling with her in order to get him out of Edonia and into a place where his blood could be used to help the infections caused by the bioterrorism incidents , but they were cut short by an ambush and were taken to China where they were both experimented on for around six months. He managed to get both himself and Sherry soon post that, and towards the end of their journey lowered his initial asking price from 50 million to around 50 for the usage of his blood . Jake remains canon-accurate in terms of timeline .
strengths && weaknesses :
strengths
weaknesses
family && relations :
✧﹒father
ALBERT WESKER - DECEASED
✧﹒mother
UNNAMED - DECEASED
✧﹒known relations
N/A
✧﹒close friends/allies
SHERRY BIRKIN .
verses:
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#v. { pre canon }
A verse surrounding any events before the time of RE6 ! Jake is typically working as a mercenary during this time .
#auv. another twist of the knife the turn of the screws (2012 2013)
A verse surrounding any events during the time of RE6 !
#auv. i'm messed up i want you here (runaway)
An alternate universe based on solazu1's concept arts where Jake teams up with Sherry around the same time as canon , and sticks with her while she works underneath Alex Wesker and from then onwards.
#v. get started war tear this place right down to the floor { post canon }
Anything post RE6 ! Very flexible , Jake can be anywhere doing anything, but is typically doing mercenary work.
tags:
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xiomaradepaz · 6 months ago
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( rosa salazar (& the paleman), 32, female , she/her (it/its) ) — Look who it is! If you take a look at our database, you’ll find that XIOMARA DE PAZ is a SCAVENGER that works in SECTOR 1. According to the file, they’re a mutant with the power of REGENERATION & SHAPESHIFTING. That must be why they’re ERRATIC and VENGEFUL. If you ask me, they remind me of skin sloughing off bone, a cockroach twitching on its back, and large unblinking eyes. They are affiliated with NOBODY.
Under The Cut: basic info » biography » task one questions
basic information:
character name: Xiomara de Paz nickname (s): Xio, Mara, Cucaracha, Cockroach face claim: Rosa Salazar / The Paleman mutation status: Gen 2 birthday: 6th June sexuality: Heterosexual (but in a Str8 way would mess around with anyone) moral alignment: Chaotic Neutral occupation: Scavenger work sector: Sector 1 affiliation: Nobody 3 positive traits: Erratic, Resilient, Sociable. 3 negative traits: Vengeful, Paranoid, Vindictive.
biography:
The youngest of five children, all mutants born to Gen 1 parents. They were all visibly mutants, but Xiomara's was the most extreme. For the first handful of years of her life, Xiomara was unable to transform herself fully and lived as a pale, hairless, and featureless creature. She was loved, from the get-go. Even as doctors screamed at her delivery, her mother grabbed for her daughter and wept with joy. They would love her, no matter what. And they did.
Children were cruel. In a particularly monstrous moment a 'prank' and some mild 'bullying' turned into what would have killed the average child—mutant or not. Instead, it became obvious there was more to her mutation than her horrific appearance. Like a cockroach, she survived whatever was thrown her way. The nickname stuck and her loving family even began to use it: thinking if it was their nickname then it couldn't hurt Xio. Her mother told her to hiss at the mean kids, lean into the nickname, and show them they shouldn't be mean to someone who's scarier than them. And it worked!
Eventually, she started to no longer be a weird little girl but a teenager. Eventually, she'd discovered something else her skin was capable of. At first, it was laborious, but she could transform herself. Sculpt herself into something different, something beautiful.
For some years she'd live as a generic child: a collection of children she'd seen in old books or adverts. Someone who didn't stand out but wasn't repulsive. The nickname stung and it became difficult to like herself when she was truly an it that only a mother could truly love. Life carried on. She was assigned a job, one where her true form was an asset. Can't kill a roach easily, and people scare so easily when something like La Cucaracha approaches. She dated and lived a normal life, hiding the ugly parts of herself until she reached the thing every child dreads. Her father passed away and her heartbroken mother soon followed. Carefully she changed herself: sculpted her new form and shed her skin over and over until it was perfect. A spitting image of her mother. The tribute scared her siblings and she spiraled further into loneliness and isolation from her family.
She'd survive, though. She'd survive with a face more than a mother could love.
questionnaire: how do they feel about living in sol city? have they always lived there or did they travel from another settlement?
She grew up in a smaller settlement, moving away from her family after her parents' passing. She likes it for how much busier it is, how no-one would recognize her mother (or herself) walking down the streets like a ghost.
do they trust the council’s leadership? why or why not?
Frankly, Xio doesn't care. She's the sort who thinks Politics doesn't affect her, that she can't actually make a difference even if she were to participate in politics. if they chose their sector and profession, why did they make that choice? if they didn’t, why not? were they happy with their assignment or not?
With no ambitions of her own, having a job chosen for her was perfect. Scavenger suits it, shedding her skin to be her true self lends it a certain freedom. Its appearance doesn't matter beyond the city limits, only its ability to do its job.
what’s one object that they always keep on their person?
A photo of her mother. (mutant only section)
what is your character’s ability (or abilities)? what can your character do? what are their strengths? what can’t they do? what are their weaknesses?
Regeneration & shapeshifting. She cannot quickly shift, she has to carefully 'sculpt' her new form, and to switch, she has to shed her skin (quite literally) and revert to its original form the cockroach (the Paleman) which she can then sculpt again into a new human form. She cannot be killed in any real way, destroying herself and rebuilding herself means any minor injury quickly heals. Even the worst injury can healed, any lost limbs whilst they will take time will reform. However, any injured part will look like her true form until it can be resculpted.
are they gen i or gen ii? Gen 2
is there anything else you’d like to specify about them? In her human form (Rosa Salazar) she will be referred to as Xiomara and she/her. In the Paleman form, she will answer to 'it' and Roach/ La Cucaracha. Her voice is raspy and warbles in Roach form, unless she actively changes her vocal chords to sound like Xio.
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noirhistories · 11 months ago
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Welcome to Antioch, ARIEL EMILIANO LARA REYES! Local sources report that you’ve been in town for HIS ENTIRE LIFE and are known to be PATIENT yet BITTER. Others have dredged up rumors that you’re involved in THE STELLAR SOCIETY as A CULT MEMBER, but most know you for your work as A DETECTIVE IN THE VAMPIRE OF ANTIOCH at THE LOCAL PRECINCT. We’ll see you around town soon!
BASICS
Character Name: Ariel Emiliano Lara Reyes, but known as Ari Lara Nickname (s): Ari Face Claim: Diego Luna Birthday: January 12th Place of birth: Antioch, Oregon Zodiac: Capricorn MBTI: ISTJ, the Logistician Moral Alignment: Lawful Neutral Sexuality: ??? Occupation: Detective Place of work: The local precinct Subplot affiliation: The Stellar Society, The Vampire of Antioch 3 positive traits: Loyal, patient, dutiful 3 negative traits: Bitter, angry, duplicitous Languages: English, Spanish Love language: Acts of Service
TRIVIA
I don't care how tall his FC is , this man is 5'6. He is short, angry and bitter. He is an espresso shot.
Has a tattoo along his right arm.
BIOGRAPHY
Childhood is growing up and running through the trees barefoot, eating berries off bushes and listening to the stream in the distance. It's stories under the stars at night and waking up to watch the dew roll off leaves in the morning. It's like a fairytale, your mother tells you, it's picturesque. Those are big words when she first says them to you, but you believe them, and to this day, they mean home to you.
What you didn't know yet is that fairytales don't always end happily, that a pretty cover doesn't mean a pretty underbelly.
You're not a man yet when your father leaves, but you certainly don't feel like a child. At first, they think maybe he got lost in the woods outside the fence, that he's sleeping it off somewhere and will be back the next day. But he isn't, and the day after that, the truth comes out - he was seen heading out of town in an eighteen wheeler, going who knows where and leader knows why.
They are betrayed by him, abandoned, and although it seems impossible to you then and now that he was the first to leave, you understand this - his transgression was the worst. He left his family and broke the trust of his community, and crimes must be paid for even when the guilty is long gone. Blood must still be spilled and that responsibility falls to the header of the family, to your older brother.
You're still a child, the people around you say as your brother is sacrificed, but you will never be a child again.
You grow older and you become the man of the family, although the title is forever marred by the betrayal of your father and sacrifice of your brother. There are still three siblings younger than you, and it's your duty to protect them, just like it's your constant fear that one day they may be suspected of having inherited your father's weakness. Death didn't bring the absolute that was promised and it still feels as though an axe is poised above your throat as you jump through every hoop and solve every puzzle.
There's nothing you won't do to keep your family safe and for that, you must be above reproach, unquestionable and unshaking in your loyalty, blind in it.The things your community do in the name of your religion are dark, but the stars are bright and one day your family will go home to them. Until then, you let yourself drift into darkness and into the bleak sterility of Antioch.
It takes time and effort, but you go through the police academy and become part of the force. you study and you train, you solve crimes and perhaps more importantly, you cover them up. Nothing ever leads back to the society and no matter who looks, everything always comes back clean. It's not a lie when you say that you're good at your job and people think that means being a detective, they don't realize it's all for the sake of protecting your family or that you don't care whose blood is spilled as long as it isn't theirs.
CONNECTIONS
Wanted Connection: None
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