#it doesn’t help I’m PMSing

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

What color? What kind?

I need to draw Cas in lingerie, already drew Dean.

Is Dean watching him?

guys. hear me out.

castiel

[crybaby-bkg]

the fuck are they putting in these flu shots????? I’ve been feeling like doodoo for the past 24 hours and like I can’t function and I HATE IT!!!!!!!

[milo-is-rambling]

I’m addicted to the grind (I doordashed for three hours this morning after only sleeping for four hours and now I’m contemplating abandoning my nap to go doordash for like. Twelve hours.)

[agathabridgerton]

this game is sucking my soul dry i think 😭

[demonlorddiva]

Obey Me! Brothers When Your On Your Period

Gonna keep the gn for the most part so anyone who gets this can feel included!! We’re all suffering together and I just want comfort 😭✌️p.s this is very me coded and I’m very much a crybaby and overreact to everything when I’m on my period so bare with me. My asks are open so if you want me to delve deeper on certain characters let me know!

Lucifer

Is informed of the menstrual cycle reading up on humans before you came to the devildom… well at least some of them

Makes sure you have the proper supplies you need already stocked in your room

Does NOT understand the emotional part

When Lucifers giving you one of his famous lectures, the pain begins and your just trying to stare at the floor

Lucifer: “are you even listening to me?”

You: “yes”

Lucifer: “I expect more from you as our human exchange student you know?”

At that moment you just put your face in your hands and start sobbing, too overwhelmed with the emotions and the pain

He’s taken aback for sure. He’s always expecting you to get mad at him, talk back, get angry, something other than this

He’s immediately by your side apologizing and making sure your okay

When you explain to him the situation he understands and lets you lay down with no other words

In the future when your on your cycle, he’s very gentle with you

The second he finds out your hurting, he immediately try’s to help in any way he can

Weather it’s getting you painkillers, a heating pad, anything you need

If you need a quiet place to be while your meds kick in he will let you lay down on the couch in his office while he rubs your back

Mammon

Has NO IDEA what a period is

But being your first man he notices the changes in you during that time

In a moment of pain you tell him what’s going on and have to explain to him about it

“Yer bleeding.. and ya do that ONCE A MONTH??? WHY???”

After a while he’s in tune of when it happens (mostly) and what you need

Always keeps pads/tampons on him in case you ask

If your cramping, all bets are off. No one is aloud to bother you or ask you for anything. Your going straight to his room or yours so he can take care of you.

“Leave MC alone! Cant ya see they’re in pain?!?”

If your craving snacks he will raid beels snack stash to get you what you need

Doesn’t mean it but when your upset and not on your period asks “what ya pmsing??”

he just wants to know

He can’t handle it if your emotional tho it gets him worked up too (even tho he tries to hide it)

“Don’t cry ya baby, you’re fine. The great mammons here ya know? It’s okay”

Leviathan

Figured it out through anime (what else is new)

If you tell him he might get a little wiggy and not know what to do

He’s trying his best let him live

Tell him what you need and he will do it for you literally anything

If your in pain he thinks your dying and panics a bit tell him you’ll be okay and you just need comfort

If you come to him teary eyed asking him to hang out he will put on a slice of life anime or something fun and cuddle with you in his bathtub bed

All the plushies and pillows are there so your warm and cozy

Keeps medication in his room on the off chance you need it

Satan

Oh this boy KNOWS about the pms

Read up on every book imaginable

If you get angry or frustrated during this time he completely understands

Your in pain! Who wouldn’t be upset

Definitely wants to fix the situation immediately but that can get overwhelming at times

“What do you need? Medicine? Heating pad? Water? You know you should stay hydrated.”

He’s just trying to help!

But sometimes you just need comfort

When you come to him, you just have to explain that you just need someone to be with you and to relax and it clicks

He will bring you to his room while he lays down and reads with you

If the pain gets to bad he will rub your head or back until you relax more

DEF yells at his brothers if they even think of bothering you

Asmo

I have a HC that asmo knows when your on your cycle before even you do so imma run with that

You don’t understand why he’s being so overly nice to you all of the sudden

He drags you into your room and you don’t get anything until the pain starts

“I just thought you could could use some extra asmo loving right now!”

It seems like he can read your mind on how your feeling

If your aggravated or frustrated he will let you rant and rave

If your sad and crying he will hold you while you let it all out

If your feeling self conscious he will tell you your gorgeous and amazing while he massages your scalp

Self care is in order, even if it’s just a warm bath he prepares for you with all the salts and oils to make you feel so relaxed, you can’t help but feel so cared for

Beel

We love this man but he doesn’t know anything about humans 😭 but he’s so willing to learn if it’s for you

Your pmsing all day at RAD and your very excited to have your snack that you have in the kitchen

After school, you immediately walk into the kitchen to find beel.

You open the cabinet for your snack, finding it gone

“Oh that? Sorry I was hungry”

You immediately start sobbing

He legit doesn’t know what to do

He normally promises to buy you snacks later and you are okay with it

He’s so guilty and so sorry

When you come to your senses and calm down you explain to him what’s going on

Your in pain?? Where does it hurt? How can he help??

Once he gets a grasp on it, every month he’s got you set

All your favorite snacks and sweets are bought for you to enjoy

If you don’t come down for dinner cause your ‘not hungry’ he’s worried

Will figure out your favorite meals you like for this time and make them for you

If you need a cuddle while your in pain he’s so warm and so cozy

Belphegor

He knows about humans and knows about periods but doesn’t know everything

And he’s a little late to the game with you

The other boys have gotten used to how you are during this time of the month and he’s new to it

You two are walking home and he’s upset with you

What could you do? You NEEDED him for a project you were working on for class so you woke him up from his hiding spot to pitch in

And he was upset and ranting

Not knowing the pain and emotional state you were in

You try to hold your tongue for as long as you can as you walk in front of him

Bel: “this is so so stupid, why do I have to do this project anyways?”

You: “I have to do this project too you know? Stop complaining so we can get this over with” you say with an irritated tone, just trying to get home.

Bel: “what, you on your period or something human? Lighten up”

Maybe it was the cramps irritated your body, making your back ache and your head hurt. Or maybe it was the hormones making your emotions run rampant. But you stop in your tracks, making Belphegor stop too

He can’t see your face, but he hears you let a sob out, wiping your eyes before you made a sprint to the house of lamentation 

Belphie doesn’t normally run, but he runs after you, missing you before you run to your room and shut the door behind you

Mammon sees the commotion, and stops him before he can reach your room to ask what happened

When Belphegor tells him, he’s pissed and lets him have it and explains the situation

When he realizes he’s so upset with himself

He shouldn’t have let his frustrations out on you during such a hard time

After a bit in your room, you hear a soft knock at your door

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were hurting”

You spent the rest of the evening cuddling

Finishes his and your part of the project to get some stress off of you

If he felt you twinge with the slightest bit of pain he would hold you that much tighter

After that, if he found out how you were feeling it was immediate nap time, he hates to see you hurting

Will massage your back to get you to fall asleep

Gets a bit too worried when your pain gets too bad and will ask Satan for help if needed

Welp here ya go! Belphegor isn’t even my favorite character and I got SO deep with him so you belphie Stans EAT UP

[reverie-starlight]

sakusa is the number one guy to have an eye on you. If you so much as sniffle, he's pulling out he emergency scarf...

So he absolutely knows when you go on your period, but he tries to phrase it in a way that makes it kess obvious that he knows.

"is it that time already?"

how fitting is it that when I started writing this, my period did too? 🥲 sorry this took so long dira, I’ve been busier with school than I thought I’d be 😭 your other requests are in the works!!

gn!reader that menstruates, no physical descriptions. fluff fluff fluff. FLUFF. cuddly reader that's somewhat shy about affection. attentive kiyoomi. making this part of my MSBY!manager!reader mini-series as a little add-on :3

sakusa swears he can pinpoint the exact moment the switch flips in your brain and you succumb to the PMS feels.

you’re cuddling with him on the couch as a movie plays in the background when you shift a little. he glances down at his chest to see you resting your chin on his sternum, eyes wide as saucers and showcasing the familiar look of affection.

he sighs fondly and rests his hand on the back of your head. "someone feeling a bit needy?"

of course you are. he's been keeping track of your cycle since the beginning of your relationship, he has everything down to a T by now. he knows your symptoms, your usual cravings, how many days in advance he'll need to stock up on supplies... and it's never brought up, because you know he'd get a bit embarrassed if he were to be called out on it, but there's an unspoken understanding that he's tuned in to you and your body.

so obviously he knows that you're PMSing. even if he hadn't been tracking things, he'd know just by the way you had to keep yourself from clinging to him at practice earlier.

for whatever reason, you seem to become almost touch-starved just before your period, despite the constant stream of physical affection he gives you everyday.

so when you nod, he just smiles down at you softly and traces a heart on the apple of your cheek. “you did so well at practice today, manager.”

he thinks back to how you made it through the day despite waking up with a bad back and some sore thighs. another clue that tipped him off about your oncoming period.

you look up at him curiously, making his heart thump a little faster at how cute you look with your cheek smushed in his palm. “shouldn’t I be the one praising you for your performance today, actual athlete?”

he snorts, something he only ever finds himself doing around you. “I hear it enough everyday. How often do you get to?”

you nuzzle into his chest and he pretends that he doesn’t notice the shy smile you’re sporting. normally he would tease you, but he finds himself feeling much, much softer for you when you’re like this.

he rubs your lower back a bit and you whine at the relief it provides. “can I get you anything, my love?”

“kiyo, if you even think of getting up right now there will be hell to pay.”

he grins and scratches your scalp with his free hand. “of course, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

you lean up for a kiss and he happily obliges.

and so you stay like that for another ten minutes, the serene silence only broken by your stomach growling. “I’m not letting you go hungry. Let’s get you something to eat, come on.”

he picks you up and helps you wrap your legs around his waist before making way to the kitchen so he can fix you a snack. he works one handed, the occupied one settled under your thighs to support you, and listens to whatever you have to say.

needy as you may be, he wouldn’t trade getting to care for you for the world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hope you enjoyed!

some tags: @emmyrosee @luvring @aayo-whatt

[wannabanauthor]

Listen, I’m all about positivity in the BuckTommy fandom, and I’ve been doing well.

Until a TikTok video on my FYP showed up today while I’m PMSing, which prompted me to make a video saying “don’t touch grass, go touch the sun because you are as stupid and worthless as those OceanGate billionaires who were at the bottom of the ocean” to toxic delusional B*ddie shippers.

I even called my dad to vent and explained it like this: Blue is spelled “b-l-u-e”, but they’re saying blue is spelled “s-o-y-a” and other delusional people are agreeing with them.

I also may have mentioned “this is why the reason why Tim Minear doesn’t like you”.

Also something about my wallpaper being blue and they are the folks that would look at it and say it’s red. I may have also said Tr*mp supporters are smarter than them and Tr*mp himself would look at the toxic shippers in amazement.

Maybe some other things were said like “go seek help because your reality is vastly different from the real world”. “Do you not know what a shovel talk is?” “Do you know what flirting is?” “Do you have any friends?” “Do you know how the real world works?” “Is this your first time interacting with fiction or entertainment?” “How are you mad that Tommy is letting Buck set the pace? Do you not know what consent is?” And many more.

I do feel slightly better.

[gojowh0rcs]

I’m on my period and I’m just picturing what thatd be like with Gojo as a bf. He definitely believes in PMSing. The whole shebang. He’s def annoying about it too so if you do end up snappin at him (cuz ur bleedin out ur coochie and maybe crampin so his usual teasing just feels sm more grating than normal) it doesn’t do much to refute his belief in PMS and the women being emotional and downright erratic during that time of the month (stupid man moment). he definitely picks up based on behavior when his girl is on her period too (or even before it comes if there’s a sudden mood change a week before). because even if he’d be a shit bf in terms of presence, he definitely studies his girl and notices all her little mannerisms and behaviors. he’s a highly observant individual and the six eyes just heightens everything too. notices the little twitch in ur finger or the way ur wrist flexes when your nervous type shit, but he never really says anything to allude to it or brags about it v much (unless he’s deliberately being an asshole and you think you could hide smth from him and he just feels like not giving it to you this one time so he throws it in ur face in a humorous but still very blunt and harsh way). and he doesn’t always help out with his s/o’s anxieties or just things she’s not willing to mention first neither. I think most of the time he’ll give his s/o their space to figure out things themselves and tends to mind his business unless they ask for help. That’s mostly a testament to how bad he is at comforting though. Unlike someone like Yuji, who I picture is probably just as confused on how to comfort his girl (specifically), he’d still try and it’s in his earnest sincerity at wanting to alleviate whatever she’s dealing with (and probably shoulder the weight entirely if he was allowed that opportunity), that he usually puts a smile on his girls face. Yuji is just a sweetheart, but he’s clumsy and he probably fucks up all the time. However it’s in the intention and his honest heart that a s/o could overlook any mishaps (most of the time).

GOJO on the other hand is not nearly that honest or earnest. He’s calm cool and collected. And he’s naturally a little mean too. Like he probably thinks at first his s/o could suck it up. Like shouldn’t you be used to this already? Just seems like a woman thing he doesn’t particularly understand so maybe he should stay away if he irks her nerves more than usual. But when it’s actually weighing on her or if she’s particularly uncomfortable and it’s out of her realm of control, Gojo does take pity. And he is still protective, even tho he’s detached. If he could take away her pain or switch roles he would without a second thought. But he can’t. And asking if she needs anything might feel a little embarrassing because that means he doesn’t already know what to do. (That and he doesn’t really have that nurturing of a personality so it feels a lil odd comin from his mouth). But Satoru Gojo failing at something??? Unthinkable. Unheard of. Fake news. He ends up googling how to help period pains and ends up finding some forum or subreddit of equally confused husbands and boyfriends. He ends up reading everything he could find and educating himself on the horrors and facts of menstruation and ends up learning more than he bargains for. But now he’s excelling most of the male population again and it’s just another notch in his belt, proof of not only being the strongest but the most knowledgeable 😎✨. (ends up braggin to some of his male students or colleagues like WOW how can YOU NOT know the strength of a period cramp could crush a can cmon megumi ur lackin). He also half thinks he should get some points for being so considerate and sweet. So he’s half expecting a big fat kiss and some praise when he suddenly strolls in with a bunch of bags of supplies and chocolate since he read somewhere more than half of women crave chocolate on their first days of menstruation. Snacking out on that is smth he can definitely help you with if you feel guilty for piggin out. When he finds out occasionally rubbing your back, watching movies, eatin junk and cuddles on your really bad days is all you really need to be satiated, he thinks it’s a pretty sweet deal. It might even become a frequent enough occurrence for him to call it something egregious like period parties. He’s ur pms partner ❤️ (you can smack him)

[ldysmfrst]

Breaking and Entering (5) - Lovern

Status: Ongoing Series

Chapter number: 5 of unknown

Word count for Chapter: 1,577

Word count for Story: 11,111

Genre: Werewolf

There are no chapter titles, but each chapter will have a name listed that indicates which POV the chapter is from. Mindlinks are in italics. Conversations with their inner wolf are in bold italics.

A little about the author: I am a mother of two beautiful children. One of which is special needs, and on 3/28, they lost 75% of their vision. I started a Patreon if you feel the heart to donate towards helping with the medical costs of appointments, medication, and modifications to the house, which insurance doesn't cover.

Warnings: (I am not good at this, but I will try. Let me know if I missed anything!!) NOT BETA READ!! This story will have a bit of angst, fluff, smut, f/m, and m/m. This chapter doesn't have any warnings... unless I missed some.

BREAKING AND ENTERING MASTER LIST

LDYSMFRST MASTER LIST

Great way to start, right? 

Getting attacked, visiting the health office, and missing an entire class period—oy! 

If this is how everything starts, this will be a tricky school year. Part of me wants to go home because my face is killing me. What kind of nails does she have to cut me like that? As far as I know, she doesn’t have acrylics with razor blades.

It's focus time. The desire to do well in school and graduate, maybe from here, on a good note, is more essential and will always win. Since there is time left for the third period and I have a free fourth period, it is time to go to my safe place and be invisible again.

Making my way to the library and entering the administration building, I notice Mitch is still here with whatever his name is and now another lackey. 

Wait, they are all coming from the private elevator? 

Who are three high school jocky-looking goons to have access to a key card VIP elevator? 

I get Mitch having one since he is now glued to Selena, and her parents work on the top floor, but the other two? Oh well, it's not something to care about with the short time I will be here.

Oh shit! 

Mitch is walking this way with a concerned look on his face and the lackeys in tow. He is in no way coming to check on me, right? 

Glancing around… yep, it is me, not another soul in sight. Why not? Everyone is supposed to be in class right now. 

*Ring*

The bell for the end of the third period goes off, stopping the boys in their tracks. He glances at the new lackey behind him, and my eyes follow. 

Oh, wow. 

My brain short circuits when my eyes connect with these pale, jade-green eyes filled with power and confusion. 

“Hey, Lovren! What happened to your face?” Mitch calls out, moving towards me again, looking more irritated now than concerned. 

The other two boys are seemingly shocked at what he said, glancing over at me like I was not 100% there just a second ago. Concern and irritation echoed on their faces. 

Oh, great, that's just what I need now “a pity party” because Selena went Freddy Kruger on my face. All I can think of is how mad Mitchell will be at me for pissing off his girlfriend enough for her to do this to me. 

Boys will be boys and back the bitches no matter what. 

And with how close Mitch and Selena are now, I am pretty sure that video evidence still wouldn't convince him that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time or Selena was PMSing again.

Rolling my shoulders, I feel this prickling sensation roll across my skin like small waves, which only makes me want to get away faster. 

“It’s nothing. I’m good.” I quickly mumble as I turn and bolt for the stairs, not waiting for the elevator to reach the lobby level. 

I repeatedly chanted, “Don’t make trouble. Don’t cause a mess. Don’t lose this house, too,” making it my mantra until I graduate. 

I keep going up the stairs to the third floor, ignoring the calls after me from Mitch and his lackeys.

When I reached the third floor, I leaned against the wall and listened to see if they were following me up the stairs.  

No footsteps on the stairs. 

Taking a chance, I peek around the corner, looking down to the lobby. The three are still there, looking puzzled and pointing to the stairs where I just escaped. 

Well, there is no way this is not going to get back to Jon and Rachel. Mitch will say something to Jon, and then Selena will spin a story to her parents. 

When I get home, who knows what Jonathan will say, but Rachel will have a million questions for me, like 1—why did you run from Mitch or 2—why did you make Selena mad, but never are you okay? 

I may have to live in the library from open to closed daily and take the long way back to avoid everyone. 

*Ring*

Ah, the fourth period has started, meaning I have about 55 minutes to myself. Sitting in my favorite chair, I scoot it closer to the window and watch the schoolyard. Some students are running late to class, others are milling about with no apparent direction, and PE for today will be soccer. 

I am not a fan of rough-and-tumble sports, but that is not to say that I am not relatively strong, flexible, and quick to recover for a heavier-set person. If I am going to participate in a sport, it will be either swimming, volleyball, or horseback riding.  

Watching the intense game outside, something strange happened. The students all kneeled and looked at something under the awning. 

That was odd. Is that some safety drill out here in the mountains of nowhere? 

Was there a sound that signaled to do the drill that was only played outside? 

It's another quirk to add to small-town living. Deciding to ignore that, I focus on my homework until the bell rings at the end of the fourth period. 

With my face still sore, the thought of chewing anything makes it hurt worse. Skipping lunch, I return to third-period class to apologize for my absence, turn in my health slip, and collect the syllabus plus any class or homework.

So far, the rest of my school day involves a one-sided hide-and-seek game with Mitch, Selena, and their collection of lackeys. 

Praise anything and everything that I do not end up having classes with any of them! There IS a higher power out there. Amen!

My ability to stay in the clique of Invisibles is intact. 

Math, Science, and English are a piece of cake. 

Economics and government are a nightmare.

My bird course this year is choir because I can fly right through it and pass with technicolor. Singing is the one thing that connects me to my mom the most. 

I remember bits and pieces of her singing while cleaning, cooking, and showering, and, well, if she could sing while doing the activity she did, no one ever stopped her. She never sang professionally, even though she could have made it big, because she always said, ‘The Goddess does not give gifts for money and fame.’” 

She was a soprano and sounded like chimes in the wind, picking up the spirits of those around her and easing their worries. I was not so lucky. I am an alto with a strong, commanding voice that is warm but soothes the soul. 

Choir was my last class for the day.  I was practically skipping with joy to class. Excited to end the day on a high note, pun intended, I walk into the choir room only to hear someone yell, “It’s Ren! You sing too?” 

Oh no. 

Searching for the voice owner, I find my “new friend,” Erik, surrounded by other students with all their eyes locked on me and my bandaged face.

Kill me now.  

Shooing people away, he patted the seat beside him and waved me over. I swear he knew everyone in the room, and everyone had to say hi to him, which means they also said hi to me; so much for being Invisible in this class.

Luckily, the conductor started the class with basic orientation, competition information, important dates, and uniform discussion. Then came the warm-ups, which included lots of looks and smiles at me from Erik and the other students close by, making me glad my face was already red from the injury. 

Next, the only part of the choir I hate is the placement showcase. 

It happens every year: each student stands in front of the class, singing variations of scales, melodies, and sight reading. I can do everything, but I hate that it is in front of everyone. Erik has no problem with this; he has a fantastic baritone-like tenor voice. It made me smile for the first time today.

Lucky for me, I kept an eye on the clock and was blessed with two things: running out of time, so I didn't have to try to sing in pain, and having never unpacked my bag, I was able to melt into the shadows and leave right away while everyone else chatted and packed up. 

I hoped Erik did not want to talk to me afterward; I was done with people.

The choir room is near the band, theater, and main gym. It is the central gathering point for the Clackers and their minions. I take a deep breath and walk along the buildings without bumping into anyone, focusing only on getting to the library rather than drawing attention to myself. 

Typically, it works. 

Dad used to joke about my ninja skills and ability to enter a room filled with people without anyone knowing I was there. It was rare when I would get caught. Most of the time, it was by my dad or mom, someone who always oozed presence or power. 

Which is what I am feeling now: power and eyes. 

Someone is watching me, and it's drilling a hole into my head. Trying not to be obvious, I glance around at the students in my general area only to be drawn to someone across the quad. 

Pale Jade green eyes. 

((edited on 9/14/24))

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[puppyshapedtile]

Good evening everypony💗

This’ll be a different post today, please excuse my ramblings. Below is a journal entry about my current romantic and emotional turmoil. I’ll probably start doing more of these, it helps to put my feelings into words even if I still have a hard time truly understanding them. You’ve been warned‼️‼️‼️

Lately I’ve been feeling very out of touch with romantic relationships. I think I might be somewhere on the ace spectrum but it’s something I find deeply saddening because I think it may be due to trauma. I don’t feel like I was born this way, I feel like it makes me undesirable. For years I had attached my self worth to my ability to be sexually desirable and now that I might not be able to provide that for a partner in the future I’m left feeling like I have nothing to offer. I know logically this isn’t the case, but that doesn’t stop my mind from spinning. I had an extremely powerful short lived crush on a new friend recently and as I came down from that I realized I was in love with someone extremely close to me. It feels so different from anything I’ve felt, it makes my stomach hurt, it makes me cry for reasons I’m unable to understand. I’ve been in so many relationships and developed crushes on countless people but this feels so different. I don’t have that rush of nervousness and insecurity, I just find myself wanting to be by their side. I wanna share my victories and my hardships with this person and I want them to do the same for me, I want something tangible. I don’t wanna be stuck daydreaming of a partner that actually treats me well, I’ve found someone so special and they were right in front of me for years. I want to accept this person into my life just as they are, no idealized version of themselves just who they are faults and all. I know that isn’t anything profound but I don’t know how else to describe my feelings. My fear is that because of my sexuality among other things, that even if we got together I couldn’t be the partner they need me to be. I feel like I wont even come close to being the kind of partner anyone needs. I’ve got so many mental health issues, and trauma I haven’t worked through yet I feel like I’d hold back whoever I’m with. I’m deeply worried that maybe I’m not capable of being someone’s girlfriend. I don’t want to join dating apps or seek out people just to date them. I want the person I love and they feel so far away from me, the thought alone makes me sick. I never knew being in love would feel like this. Maybe it's only like this if it’s unrequitted. Usually when I know someone isn’t interested my feelings fade, but this continues to linger. I’m not thinking about them the way I do a crush, I catch myself genuinely admiring who they are and they only make it more difficult each day to try and adjust my feelings. The feelings im experiencing romantically are for once in my life not superficial or born of loneliness. I love this person and I’m worried I always will.

thank you to anyone who read through that💗 I’m okay no need to worry I’m probably just pmsing, my heart goes out to all of you!!

[aviaslife]

currently sobbing cause season 2, episode 15 of one tree hill broke me at the end.

whitey is literally one of my favorite characters in the series and seeing him cry because of his wish being fulfilled about marrying camilla and then camilla being gone and then talking about wanting kids, but he already has so many kids because he’s a coach has me emotionally rattled. he deserves so much good for him in this series.

and then anna coming out and saying she hates labels has me emotional too because i can’t imagine the immense pressure that was felt back 20 years ago for loving someone of the same sex. they were so cruel to everybody for just wanting to love 💔

i’m an emotional wreck and it doesn’t help that i’m #pmsing. i love one tree hill so much already and i have 7 more seasons to go. hoping i can finish them in a good time span and as my downtime from work and school.

until then,

very sad emotional cheers, xoxo.

[lucygraysboy]

“guilty as charged.” loving the sound of her laugh, billy doesn’t even try to deny the obvious — he does spend a little too much time scrolling through tiktok. he can’t help it. it’s addictive. “mhm, you kind of did just that. you played it off as a joke, but i’ve known you for… what? thirteen years? fourteen? i can tell when you’re genuinely uncomfortable or annoyed with me.” she can be a mystery, but there are also times when her feelings seem to radiate off her in waves. and although he might not understand why she’d be bothered by his backhanded compliment directed at the waitress, he’s certain there is a reason. has he ever done anything to make her think he’s capable of betraying her? “maybe i’m doin’ both. a virgin boy has to entertain himself somehow,” he plays along, but for once doesn’t feel like laughing. he’s too irritated and frustrated.

“first of all, you’re not a man or so i hope ‘cause that would be an awkward surprise… and second of all, what’s so insulting about being called a woman?” he’s genuinely oblivious to how rude it can sound, thinking he was just being playful and joking around. “don’t you think there’s a difference between wanting to know who slept in your girl’s bed while you were gone and getting jealous just because your boyfriend breathes the same oxygen as other women?” he rolls his eyes, suddenly no longer hungry. he’s torn between being concerned for her and so incredibly annoyed that he’d like to stand up and walk out. “lord, are you pmsing? is that what this is about?” maybe he shouldn’t be asking such questions, but they’ve crossed quite a few boundaries tonight so what’s one more? “well, it’s hard to forget when your girlfriend gets all tense and annoyed with you for simply sitting next to someone in class.” what’s happened to her? brows furrowing, deep lines appearing on his otherwise smooth forehead. something clearly isn’t right. this isn’t like her, he thinks. “nothing,” the cowboy admits truthfully, although a hint of embarrassment can be heard in his voice when he understands his mistake. a quick explanation follows, “it’s not like i even had the chance to follow up. i was tryin’ to protect you from that, but you just… you always need to get your way. you talk about trust, but you trust no one.”

"okay, you've been on tiktok way too much." the brunette can't help but laugh, hating the way she finds it adorable. "i don't get annoyed when your nice." well... she doesn't mean to. she just doesn't want to admit it was giving her ptsd to billy taupe, which wasn't fair to accuse him of. because him and billy taupe were two completely different people, she knew that. but something in her mind didn't want to let her know that. "hm, i don't know about that. i think you might be watchin' those movies or readin' those books." she accuses, thinking that's hilarious. if she wasn't feeling so rocky with her mood.

watching him sit that sandwich down, leaning back like she was daring him to say something to annoy her even more as she watched the sincerity storm over his features. then he certainly didn't disappoint. "says you? you're the one bein' ridiculous all because i said 'BELIEVE me' earlier. you'd gotten a real bad of an attitude all cause i said that. so you ain't the one to talk about behavior. oh and callin' me woman," maybe she was about to start her period and things like that were annoying her or maybe she was being paranoid he was copying off his dumb misogynistic friends.

or maybe it was to do with billy taupe, again. who could fit right in with billy's stupid guy group. all of the above? "maybe you're weird for still thinkin' about that and rememberin' that." the thing about blair. before billy taupe, she would've agreed with him that waitress had a sweet smile, but now she's thinking every male was after something else. that they were never satisfied. that it wasn't just one male, it was ALL of them. and yes, billy taupe was notorious for taking any woman to his bedroom. the word fucking spilling from his lips is so lewd and burns her even more with anger knowing how it'd been attached to her and billy in the same sentence. oh, so THAT'S what olinger was saying? the one even worse than jesse. and what... his entire group is just making fun of her? "what did you say back to it?" that would decide if she's satisfied or not. really, lucy gray did wonder how billy responded to these things when she wasn't around.

[puzzles-are-fun]

Boston Marathon length meme

This is another rant. I’m PMSing but it aggravates me even when I’m not.

I hate the “Not to sound really stupid, but is the Boston Marathon longer than the LA Marathon?” meme.

Firstly because of the obnoxious way the two people speak, but also: not everyone lives in places that have marathons so they wouldn’t necessarily know how long marathons are.

I don’t care about sports really at all. Like, very few fucks given by me about sports. Pretty much zero. Why would I know how long marathons are? How would I know how long they are?

The end bit where the woman tells the guy “That’s like common sense, I fear” is just…nnngh…

When I was typing it, my phone autocorrected the “I fear” to “I feel”, so there’s that point.

I fear that people think it should be common sense to know how long all marathons are when not everyone needs to know that info. It’s not a life skill to know that. Common sense is in short supply already! Why does it have to involve marathon length knowledge?

I used to hear that audio in pretty much every other Instagram video a few months ago and it drove me nuts so I was happy when it tapered off but now it’s popped up in my algorithm again and I’m cranky from the PMS, so I decided to rant. I know I sound way more angry than I should (I’m not this angry usually, honest!) but I just hate that audio/meme. Yes, I know I can keep scrolling but it shows up again.

I get why people use it to make fun of the absence of common sense in the world these days but I really don’t want to hear it ever again.

Plus, the kids at the playground near my apartment are screaming (they’re fine, but I don’t get why they have to scream when happy) which doesn’t help my mood.

I’m going to stop talking/typing now and find a video to watch that makes me happy and not feel like an angry nutcase.

Hopefully, my next post will be about something normal.

[starlingsrps]

sister mary cosmopolitan explains it all.

there’s a smudge of lipstick on nell’s chin when she finally gets in from what was supposed to be a quick walk with captain holland.

walk. sure. some fucking walk.

helen is at evening chapel and should be back soon. mary had thought about biking to town to have a drink and a laugh but was pmsing in a way that had her ready to strangle the next man who asked her a question. she stayed back to wash and set her hair instead. she’d been thinking about painting her nails when nell got back, redirecting her attention.

“you’ve got,” mary taps her own chin and holds out her cold cream. “might want that off before helen gets back.”

“oh.” nell flushes adorably and takes the jar. “thank you.”

mary can’t help but tease her a little. “have a nice walk?”

her skin slips from pink to red and she mumbles something about it being a nice clear night before disappearing into their tiny bathroom.

if nell was getting involved with anyone else, she’d have more cause for concern. if it were hatcher or any of the other jackals, she’d have shipped nellhome in a box herself. as it is, holland is just nell with a dick. he’s so wholesome, she’d be amazed if he were capable of an impure thought but ever since he got back from that conference with halstead, their little evening walks have lasted longer and longer and nell has been coming back with a half glazed look on her face that mary knows a little too well from personal experience.

she doesn’t have to ask and she knows it. she can keep her mouth shut and her nose in her own business but…christ, it’s nell. mary feels like an awkward parent and then remembers she’s older than nell but not by that much - an aunt, maybe, but that doesn’t make her feel any better. it’s not that she can’t talk sex - she does, extravagantly with the other girls - but nell is such an absolute innocent that mary finds herself struggling to translate it in a way that won’t scare her off. “you and holland are being…careful, right?”

nell’s face, covered in cold cream, pokes out of the bathroom. “careful how?” she pauses in thought. “oh, i mean we’re not taking out an ad for brass or anything but-“

she’s going to kill herself. there’s no way she can ever be a parent. “i meant like a condom.”

“like a…oh my god,” she ducks back inside and mary hears the sounds of her hastily wrapping up her grooming. she comes out again with a clean face and with her uniform folded over her arm.”i - we-“

“look, holland seems to know what he’s doing and i know you can turn a man down but i don’t want any curly headed little accidents to fuck you both up.”

nell has now blushed so violently that she’s almost purple. “he’s been very respectful,” she mumbles, hanging up her clothes. 

when she turns around, there’s a hickey the size of a silver dollar on her collarbone revealed by the strap of her slip and mary sighs. “is he a gentleman or a vampire?”

nell glances down, claps a hand over it, and when she looks back at mary, her eyes are wary and shuttered, the color fading from her cheeks. “he’s a - i’m sorry.”

mary recognizes the stiff, hunched set of her shoulders and careful look on her face, the same as when helen starts getting a little too fire and brimstone. whatever church she went to as a kid did a number on her and mary is suddenly grateful for her religious instruction being half assed at best. “the fuck are you apologizing to me for?” mary sighs again and drops her head in her hands. “i’m not mad. i’m just impressed holland has it in him.”

nell thaws a little, pulls out her nightgown and ducks behind the screen to change.

mary decides that she’s going to fight nell’s mother if she ever gets the chance. she’s had that gut feeling for months and now she knows she’ll wipe the floor with mrs. howard and have a great time doing it. “look: does he make you feel good?”

nell hesitates long enough that mary wonders if she’s going to have to put holland on that same list of people to fight but when she comes back around the screen, she’s fighting back a smile and nods.

“then fuck it. god’s got other shit to worry about.” nell laughs and sits cross-legged on her bed, pulling her pillow into her lap. her bed faces mary’s and it’s another reason she’s not looking forward to the new girl. it’s like a sleepover. “if he’s treating you well and you’re being safe, then don’t worry about it.”

she sighs, a soft and dreamy little sigh and mary hates that she’s a tiny, tiny bit jealous. not of holland - he’s adorable but mary knows she’d eat him alive and use his bones to file her nails - but of that early relationship shimmer where everything is perfect and possible. “he’s really great, mary.”

“good, i’m glad. but you’re not getting out of this.” she leans over and roots in her nightstand drawer and pulls out a condom from her stash. she holds it in front of her like a piece of evidence at a trial. “this is a condom.”

“i know what a condom is, mary.”

“thank god. that saves me at least five minutes.” she fumbles again. “have you…used one before?”

nell clears her throat and punches the pillow in her lap. “um, well. no. but we’re…slow.”

“yeah, he doesn’t seem like the type to fuck you against a tree out of nowhere.” she tosses it onto nell’s mattress. “i’ve got more in my bottom drawer. help yourself but don’t leave it empty.”

she mumbles a thank you and turns the little foil square over in her fingers.

“if anyone, holland or otherwise, tells you he doesn’t want to use one, you sock him right in the nose and get the hell out of there, got it?”

“i got it.”

mary doesn’t know where to go next. there’s condom application, anatomy, positioning and she’s not sure where to start that won’t make either of them die from embarrassment. she’ll have to see what she can do about some dirty novels. hers have been loaned out to a few of the wacs but she can easily get them back. all she has right now is a trashy little number called silken sally without much of a plot but at least has a few scenes with a woman on top. that’ll be good for nell, at the very least, as long as she doesn’t think too hard about the plot. she tosses it next to the condom. “here, read this. there’s some good bits you’ll like.”

nell thumbs through it and stops at random. she reads for a moment and her eyebrows fly up. “oh! oh my god, people like that?”

with no way of knowing exactly which scene it is, mary shrugs. “sure. you might if you give it a shot.”

helen comes in, bringing a cold wind and burst of mist with her. “oh, am i interrupting?” she asks, eyes darting to the condom on the mattress and book in nell’s hands.

mary meets her gaze and shakes her head slowly. she likes helen must fine, contrary to popular belief. she’s about as serious as a heart attack but she’s a work horse with a strong, steady heart. she’ll be a great nun when she goes home but right now, mary needs her to get the hell out of here so she can explain to nell what and where her clitoris is.

“i’ll do another lap,” helen says, looping her scarf back around her neck and leaving again.

[soporis]

agh I was doing so well for so long! granted, I should be PMSing right now according to my app and I said I was going to take CBD every afternoon while during this week to counter the increased anxiety and I didn't do that today, so I will try tomorrow at Sam's (don't forget to bring pop because you know that man doesn't have any juice) and then 100% again on Christmas and Boxing Day even if you get your period because those are like, some big steps there. Christmas should be fine because it's not like you need to eat anything they've made, but Boxing Day is going to be several hours and not particularly intellectually stimulating so it could get a little rough. We'll see though, because I've really been improving even without regularly doing my ERP (due to exams and also just like generally being off schedule while in Toronto) and I can probably bring my puzzle there, right? Only looking a little strange to the fam lol. I don't really think there's much more I can do about this for now, but I've been doing ok on the social plans (and even in my alone time tbh) so I think taking this time to just fully rest (no job, no chores even, and then taking an accidental break from ERP) is also helping. That being said, I should really start re-doing ERP more regularly and definitely everyday in Mtl again. Maybe the 27th should be fine because I will be at Marlee's, and then the 28th while I wait for her to wake up. Not the 29th because I'll be seeing Rachel, the 30th should be ok because it's just romcom that night, and then definitely not the 31st because that party is going to take me OUT I already know. Oh I'm realizing it's being around John that actually feels like the problem there, interesting. Wonder where that's coming from. I'll dive into that another time I am tired of this now.

[maerenee930]

random thoughts. (pretty long. just a heads up for anyone who does happen to read this. not that i like actually/ really think anyone is going to read this 😅)

feel like it’s been a minute since i’ve done this. it probably like actually hasn’t been that long or as long as i think it has been or as long as it finds feels like it has, but yeah. 😅

so life update:

- finally have a new gp. my precious doctor just wasn’t working out. idk if i mentioned it (i think i did. i can’t remember for sure) but she basically chalked up any of my issues i’ve been having mentally and emotionally mostly, can be solved by losing weight. when i asked if there was maybe some other kind of medication i could try to help with my depression and anxiety not only in general but especially for when i’m pmsing and both tend to get a lot worse and i start to feel super low (like feels really close to how i’ve felt at my lowest points 😣) and i just felt my meds weren’t doing what i needed them to.

so when i asked if there was maybe something different i could try or even just for something around that time to help with both, she told me “well you’re already in medications and you’re at the highest dosage for each one. i don’t know what else you want. there’s nothing i can do. you need to lose weight. that will help.”

so yeah…. that felt pretty fucking shitty. ngl. so i finally found a new doctor.

i’ve only seen her twice now and already i feel so much better than i have in quite a while! she’s so sweet and genuinely kind! she’s truly willing to hear me out and not dismiss my concerns or make me feel like i’m over reacting or like i’m not actually trying to change things or make them better. like i don’t actually care or want to feel better. doesn’t dismiss my feelings because of my weight and say everything would be better and i would feel better if i just lost weight.

she has explained things to me in a way that i not only will really understand but she explains things in way that’s not rude or condescending. she saw the dosages of my meds and adjusted them. one of them i was like not just at the maximum dosage but i was above it. like 50mg above the max 😳 and the other wasn’t quite high enough 😐 why the previous doctor didn’t just take the time to adjust my meds, is beyond me!

so we adjusted my dosages and while it’s only been a few weeks, i do feel different. i feel less anxious and jittery than i did for the longest time.

she explained things about my iron being so low and my anemia and how they can also play a part in my depression and anxiety and what i can do to help get it up so i wont possibly have to get transfusions done.

and she didn’t mention my weight. it wasn’t even brought up until i mentioned how the previous doctor repeatedly suggested (very rudely) that i’ll feel better and everything would get better if i just lost weight.

she suggested that if it’s something i want to do then there are things we can work out to help me with that and exercising would be helpful to not only lose weight but help boost my mood. help me so i’m not just sitting and stewing in my emotions.

it was so nice to have a doctor talk to me like an actual person with feelings. someone who didn’t just see my weight as the sole cause of any problems i’m having.

- work has been going pretty well for the most part. i mean we’re busy. it’s close to the holidays and it’s a credit union. it makes sense that we’re busy. i feel like i’m not doing good or am good at my job but i have to keep reminding myself that if that were the case, i wouldn’t be there still. but it’s hard to shake that anxiety and not let it get the better of me.

speaking of anxiety and work. prior to seeing my new doctor, i’ve been able to have several conversations with one of my supervisors about my anxiety and depression. her daughter struggles with anxiety as well so it’s kinda nice to have someone to talk to at work who can understand how i feel and my supervisor said it’s been nice for her to talk with someone about it who can really kind of understand how her daughter is feeling. someone who has been through similar things. everyone has been super understanding and supportive not only just in general at work but also when it comes to my anxiety. i’ve had several really bad panic attacks while i’ve been at work and i have had to step away from my desk for a minute to try and calm myself down and everyone has been so kind, understanding, supportive and patient with me. 🥺

having my supervisors, our hr person and my other coworkers being so understanding and kind just means so more to me than they will every know 🥹 i feel so very lucky to work there!

i could do without some of the members being who they are 🙃 still lots of rude comments. lots of political, racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist and bigoted comments 😑 so that’s fun.

lots of people who love to make all of us feel like we don’t know how to do our job when in reality they’re not understanding how things work and that we have certain procedures and protocols in place that we have to follow and do and when they get so annoyed it just kills me 🤦‍♀️

or like people have been in such a hurry lately and have transactions with larger amounts and depending on the transaction and if they’re getting cash back, they want smaller bills so it’ll take longer to count and verify (because we have to count it certain number of times to verify we’re counting everything correctly. not just so we’ll balance our drawers later but also so that you know our members are getting what they’re asking for. shocking, i know 😐) and then get annoyed with us when it does take a while and they’re like “is this gonna take much longer? i have to go get my grandchild… and blah blah blah” or “i have other stuff i have to do” and it’s like people, seriously?? why come in and get out a lager amount of money when you are in a hurrry? they do this consistently, btw. and it’s just like you gotta figure out a different time to do this stuff because we have things we have to do and sometimes it’s gonna take a while. it’s frustrating but it is what it is. we can do it fast and possibly screw up and have you be even more annoyed in the long run…? or we can take our time, do what we are supposed to do and need to and get your transaction or transactions done correctly. it’s up to you. personally i’d rather do it right the first time. but what do i know? 🤦‍♀️

or we’ve understandably been busy lately cause of the holiday coming up and like on saturday, we were open for only 4 hours and i had 80 transactions. now mind you some people do multiple things but still that still counts and in such a short amount of time i had that many transactions?? like whyyyy? uuugh!! 😓

idk if i mentioned it at all (i think i have to so i apologize for repeating myself) but i keep getting called cindy lauper by one specific member because he’s a stupid dick who thinks he’s soo funny and just like he’s gods gift to the world 🤦‍♀️ and because of my hair color fading from when it was bright red to pink and he started calling me that like legit when i started back in march and still does it (literally did it today) and it’s just so fucking annoying. of all the pop culture references to make with my hair color (or at the time hair color), of all the celebrities to compare me to because of my hair color(s) he chooses cindy lauper?? i look NOTHING like cindy lauper. so it doesn’t make any sense. like other than having colors in my hair (which she was not the first and clearly wasn’t the last celeb to) i have no features similar to her. in any way. so it’s like why? why does this have to be a thing? why is it still a thing? why does this man feel the need to continue to call me it when literally no one comments on it anymore? (him calling me that. i mean some of my supervisors like chuckled or laughed when he started doing it. back in march and april 😑 but no one else has don’t it since then. if anything we all can’t stand it. that or everyone is being kind enough to me to pretend to be annoyed by it to make me feel supported 😅 anyway lol) and when will he finally get that it’s not funny and he could just stop? (he’s one of the assholes who makes racist, homophobic, sexist, transphobic, political and bigoted comments. soo you know this guy is just a fucking gem 😑)

on a nicer note, we had our company christmas party a few weeks ago and it was a lot of fun! we went out to dinner and had sooo much food! and then went to a play and it was seriously so funny! like i was not expecting it to be as good as it was and it just ended up being so much more fun than i imagined it was going to be 😂☺️💙

my mom was my plus one lol. and we got to sit with my aunt (my mom’s oldest sister. i work with her lol. she’s how i found out about the job and the reason i applied there ☺️) and her daughter/my cousin. we sat with one of my friends who is also a teller and her best friend 😊 we sat with one of the tellers (who’s been there just about as long as i’ve been alive lol) and her plus one. and our cfo and her husband ☺️ and our ceo would walk around occasionally to check on everyone and see how we’re doing and it was so nice! everyone i work with is truly so kind and i feel so lucky i get to work with them! but yeah, it was just a really fun night!

i talked a lot with my cousin about our favorite shows or meeting people at comic-con cause she had just went to motor city comic-con back in november and we talked about a lot of other stuff with my mom and my friend i that work with and yeah, it was just a good night ☺️

- on a kind of sadder note, my cat’s has been having trouble with her vision. we noticed it in the beginning of november and on and off it kept happening and getting worse. she keeps bumping into things but it’s not consistent. some days she does great and she’s like how she’s always been. very normal. and then other days she (not super hard to where she hurts herself) just bumps into almost everything and it just has been very odd 😓

we took her to the vet the same day of my christmas party and the vet said he believes her retina’s have detached. when he shined a light in her eyes, her pupils didn’t get smaller. or if he shined it in one eye, the other one wouldn’t instinctively react and get smaller as well. and her pupils have been pretty dilated lately. which i guess happens when cats have issues with their retinas. he also said though he wasn’t 100% sure and we would have to take her to an ophthalmologist and they could run more tests to know for sure.

and then they needed up doing some tests on her and getting some bloodwork done for her and the results of the blood work were not surprising. she has high blood pressure (which with my cat makes complete sense because she has always been a very anxious and tightly wound personality. she is like the actual/literal definition of a scared cat 😅🥹 my poor baby lol. always has been lol. and just with that and having issues with the other two cats, it makes sense. there’s a lot of reasons why she has issues with the other two cats but i won’t get into that right now. so she’s on blood pressure medication now and gets it every day, so hopefully that helps.

but we also found out, cats having high blood pressure can mess with their vision. so that could be playing a part into what’s going on with her sight as well. not a for sure or definite answer but right now we’re taking what we can get.

something to keep in mind is my cat is almost 18 years old so it kinda makes sense that it’s happening. but at the same time, she’s my baby. (literally her name is baby lol 🥹💙) she’s can’t have anything wrong. she’s so perfect and small and feisty and funny and sweet and amazing and she just deserves everything. she’s just a baby 🥹🥰 she’s my princess. she’s my best friend. she’s been through so much with me and is always there for me. she’s such a good girl 🥹😭 and she doesn’t deserve to go through anything like this 😭

and i realize things could be soo much worse and we are very fortunate that it took this long for anything to happen with her vision. but it still doesn’t make it easier to handle or process. you know? plus i worry about her so much as it is. and to think about how scared she is when she can’t see or if she does end up losing her vision completely. how tough that is for her. selfishly it breaks my heart that she possibly won’t be able to see my face at all maybe at some point 😭 how scared i am that i can’t fix this for her and make everything better for her.

like when i say she’s my best friend, i mean it. she is legit always there for me. 🥹 i mean she is also almost always in my room lol. but she just knows when i need cuddles, snuggles, love, attention and affection 😭 she sleeps right next to me every night (or legit next to my head/face. yes she sleeps that close to me. not cause i make her! but because she feels that safe with me/safe enough with me to be that close to me. or she feels i can protect her 😭) she has such a distinct personality and we legit will like bicker and get annoyed with each other and it’s so funny. and she’s also my protecter when she feels i need it 🥹 she does so many other things and in her own little kitty ways tries to take care of me while still being a princess and getting her way and idk she’s just the best 😭 and anything happening to her absolutely guts me and completely breaks and hurts my heart soo much 😭 i just want to make everything better for her. and i want to do whatever i can to have her healthy and around for as long as i possibly can 😭💙💙 my baby 🥺

there was more i wanted to add to this but i’m gonna leave it at that for now. i’ll probably make another post with/about that other stuff soon.

but yeah, thank you to anyone who actually did read all of this rambling emotional nonsense 😅 i know it was a lot but i really appreciate it.

i hope it all made sense for the most part. i’m sorry if it didn’t and i’m sorry for any spelling or grammar errors/typos.