#it doesn’t have to be a perfect metaphor of all 3 kids for it to still be a genuine reference

[blasphemousclaw]

The kids in the Rennala boss fight have 3 different(2 male 1 female) voices and they use gravity+flame magic at a basic level, I don't know if it caught your attention before.

It has indeed caught my attention, and I’ve been wracking my brain over it for a while! Something I’ve talked about before is that reading the spell descriptions, you’ll notice that each Carian sibling is deliberately mentioned in the descriptions of a specific type of sorcery: Gravity sorceries for Radahn, Magma sorceries for Rykard, and Cold sorceries for Ranni.

Naturally, the first thing I think of when I see the spells cast by the “sweetings” is that they’re meant to represent Rennala’s true children; the gravity magic representing Radahn and the fire magic representing Rykard. I also didn’t know about the voices, that’s another point in favor of this theory!

The one thing that bothers me is that there isn’t any cold sorcery present in the fight that might represent Ranni, so the representation of Rennala’s three children doesn’t line up quite neatly enough for me. Of course it’s still possible that the spells are meant to reference Rennala’s sons, but I hesitate to say for sure because it isn’t a perfect metaphor. Still, it’s absolutely worth noting! I’ve always thought that Rennala might be so fixated on the art of rebirth because of how she lost her three children to their grim fates.

Oh, and I also accidentally found out that you pick up the juvenile scholar’s robes as a painting reward at the Caria Manor graveyard, and the ghost guy who has them is pointing towards the Academy… it might be intentionally drawing a connection between Caria Manor (Rennala’s kids’ childhood home) and the juvenile scholars?

[twoa-plus]

dissecting stanford pines and finding organs that don’t exist but like in a metaphorical way

that’s it that’s the title i’m going with. this is a long one folks o7

most of this isn’t sourced or canon at all it’s just personal interpretation/headcanon/whatever else u wanna call it, but!! since more people are seeing my deranged gravity falls ramblings now i figure i should probably give some perspective as to why i like/defend ford as much as i do

(in my other gf posts i do try to stick to canon to back up whatever point i’m making - this is just about my personal opinion of ford as a character, and should be able to be thrown out in regards to my other posts)

so for some background/setup/whatever (it’s important i promise bear with me), different people have different instinctual responses to anxiety/stress. i come from a family (genetics are fun) where the default response is to start (metaphorically ofc) biting and hissing like a cornered animal. this doesn’t necessarily mean there’s any actual hatred or malice or anything towards the people that end up getting scratched - they might just be at the wrong place at the wrong time, they might’ve done something super minor and insignificant that added on to a preexisting pile of stress, etc etc

i cannot stress enough that i am not saying this is ok. you dont need me to tell you that hurting people who don’t deserve it is a bad thing, lol. what i am saying though is that sometimes people can kind of suck for reasons other than just genuinely wanting everyone around them to be miserable

this is the last “background” part i swear BUT another thing thats less genetic and more just me being weird is that i’m the type of person where like. any minor environmental change can really stress me out lol. like even just reorganizing my desk can be pretty emotionally taxing

SO. finally back on topic. stanford pines. i see a lot of the behavior/patterns i just described in him. like i’ve spent my entire life around people like this, and while i understand why a lot of people see him as just some asshole, i can’t help but see him as a guy who’s just kinda going through it lol

just talking about the more recent events as of the series, he’s just spent 30 years god knows where doing and seeing god knows what, he has an abusive ex who wants to murder him and his entire family (plus the whole dimension, really), and in the three decades he’s been gone the entire world - including his own house - has changed and left him behind. add onto that that he went missing in 1982, way before we had all of the emotional/mental health resources we have now, we all saw what the stans’ childhood was like, and that ford is terrible with people - including, imo, himself. if there’s anybody out there who would have Feelings and not understand what they are or where they’re coming from or what to do about them, it’s this guy

this entire setup is the perfect circumstance for fear and anxiety and stress and uncertainty to all get translated into anger. a really big example of this, to me, is how he talks about dipper in journal 3. i’ve talked about this before somewhere so i’ll try to summarize as fast as i can lol

reading his initial entry about dipper would make u think he like. hates this kid lol. but i really don’t think he ever did - he was really excited to meet the kids in the show and already seemed to care about them just by virtue of existing, and his opinion on dipper in journal 3 seems to do a complete 180 pretty quickly which ,,, doesn’t really fit ford as a character. like i love the man but that guy can hold a GRUDGE

here’s how it reads to me:

ford gets back to his home dimension after 30 years and everything is different

he’s subconsciously kind of struggling with the fact that he doesn’t really have a “home” anymore - the sense of familiarity and comfort that would normally come with the word is gone. (i specify that it’s subconscious because, like i said earlier, i do not get the vibe that he’s particularly aware of his own emotions)

he finds out that journal 3 - something he made with his own two hands and considers part of his life’s work - has also changed in the decades he’s been gone. this adds to the feeling of unfamiliarity with the world around him

it’s easier to blame that “final straw” and say that he’s just upset about his work being tampered with rather than address the actual root of the problem, so that’s exactly what he does. this still doesn’t mean that there’s any genuine hatred towards dipper. anger in the moment, yeah, but not hatred

again, this is entirely personal interpretation, and i completely understand if u don’t see it like this!! this is just a pattern of thoughts/behavior that i’m very familiar with, so it’s easy for me to apply it to situations like this even if it’s not really part of the canon

i also think there’s a big problem in this fandom with just ,, not seeing ford as a Person with Emotions? idk how to explain it but it feels like people expect him to always know exactly what to do in every situation just bc he’s old and academically smart. like whenever another character does something objectively bad it’s “well there were extenuating circumstances,” (which is usually true and i agree !!) but ford never really seems to get that treatment. if he does something bad it’s just because he sucks

a big example of this i think is the fight between him and stan (y’know the “you ruined my life”/“you ruined your own life”). you cannot look me dead in the eyes and, in full seriousness, with the context of everything ford was going through with bill at the time, say that he was fully mentally/emotionally stable during that conversation. “oh so you’re blaming stan-“ NO!!! stan was also going through it!!! that’s the entire point - they’re both people with their own lives and emotions and everything else that comes with that, they had very human reactions to their respective situations, and they both ended up hurt!! hopefully i’m explaining this right but i just don’t like it when people pin everything on ford, like there was a lot going on and at the end of the day he’s just a human

wasn’t really sure how to work this in so i’ll just put it here - i don’t think ford ever truly hated stan, either. familial bonds are complicated, and there can be a whole lot of anger towards someone without true hatred being present. i briefly mentioned the stans’ childhood sucking earlier, and i don’t just mean stanley - it’s easier to pinpoint him as a victim of abuse/neglect, but that doesn’t mean ford had it great either. their parents (specifically filbrick, but caryn didn’t exactly do a fantastic job with them either) expected nothing of stan and the world of ford, both of which would weigh heavily on any child. plus, ford being the favorite doesn’t mean all of his emotional needs were met - filbrick seeing him as an opportunity to make money doesn’t mean he was suddenly an emotionally present and caring father towards him. WCT wasn’t just an opportunity for ford to go be a famous scientist or whatever - it was a chance for his father to love him, something both of the stans desperately wanted. (WCT was also on the opposite side of the country from where they lived but i’m sure that’s completely unrelated !!!)

do i think stan deserved anything that happened to him after the science fair incident? no, absolutely not, he was a child. do i think it was right of ford to just stand there as his brother got thrown out? no, absolutely not - but he was a child too. as for them not speaking for a decade after that, like i mentioned earlier ford can hold a grudge like no other. (this doesn’t just apply to stan, either, ford dedicated half of his life to trying to kill his ex lmao.) i think ford’s ability to hold on to anger like that is actually a pretty major part of/flaw in his personality, but again, anger - even the strongest, most long-lived of it - is not synonymous with hatred. stan, who ford has always gone to for help when he truly needed it, it not what ford’s hatred looks like. bill, who ford actively wants to die, is

anyways!! i never know how to close these things lol. ig in summary i just see ford’s behavior (in the show at least) as more of a sign of internal struggle rather than like ,, genuinely hating the people around him and wanting their lives to suck. did/does he have an ego problem? absolutely. is he incapable of love and human connection? no. is he immune to manipulation/abuse/neglect/etc and everything that comes with that? also no

he’s an interdimensional criminal why can’t he go to the theraprism. i think he should

[musclesandhammering]

Unpopular Phase 4 & 5 Opinions

Quantumania is the worst Phase 4/5 movie. And it wasn’t even because “kang got beat by ants.” (I liked kang in this movie). It’s just that the Spy Kids aesthetic & bad acting & overall weird vibes just weren’t for me.

Love and Thunder is no worse than Ragnarok. I would argue that it’s better in a lot of ways, actually. I really liked it.

Taika Waititi ruined thor with bad humour all the way back in Ragnarok tbh, but y’all weren’t complaining about it then 😒.

BuckySarah is better than sambucky every day of the week.

The Marvels was a good ass movie & they’re one of my favorite teams in the mcu. I’ll never forgive cbm sites & online dudebros for killing the hype from the moment the film was announced.

I adore America Chavez & Kamala Kahn and I want to see them in everything. They must be protected at all costs.

Multiverse of Madness had shitty characterisation & basically just copy-pasted the ‘grief made me go off the deep end & hurt people, then I realised and stopped myself’ storyline from Wandavision… but Wanda was extremely selfish & apathetic to other people’s suffering from the time she was introduced in the mcu. MoM didn’t make her like that.

Wanda should’ve been looking for Vision (her actual real life boyfriend whom she spent years with irl) in MoM instead of the kids that weren’t even real that she spent like a week using as characters in her sitcom.

Making everyone forget Peter Parker wasn’t profound or poetic in any way- it was just frustrating and needlessly cruel.

I’m begging marvel to understand that heroes don’t have to be in constant suffering to be heroic & villains don’t have to sacrifice themselves to achieve redemption. Let characters heal and atone, you absolute weirdos.

What If…? is the most boring show ever. I’d rather watch Secret Invasion or She-Hulk.

Season 2 of Loki is, in a cinematic & artistic sense, the best marvel project period.

Loki season 1 was meh- more of a fun au than anything because his characterisation kinda sucked. Season 2 fixed it, though, and made it way easier for me to incorporate this version of Loki back into the larger mcu.

Having Steve stay in the past with Peggy was stupid af.

I don’t hate Peggy (or Captain Carter), though. I actually think she’s pretty cool.

I don’t really love Steve. He’s arrogant & they never really let him have flaws & something about him being a perfect metaphor for the American military industrial complex (and marvel painting that as a good thing) doesn’t sit right with me.

The Illuminati got done dirty and the only reason they went down so fast was because Wanda had all that plot armor.

I thought the retcon of having Wanda be “destined” to become the Scarlet Witch since birth was an annoying cop-out. Her powers originating from being experimented on with an infinity stone was way more interesting.

Loki & Wanda have almost the exact same powers.

Nebula deserved a bigger rule in killing Thanos & everything else moving forward.

I love Kathryn Newton but her acting as Cassie Lang was the worst acting I’ve ever seen in the mcu, like it was outrageously bad.

I’m glad Sam is the new Captain America and not Bucky.

The fact that Bucky probably isn’t gonna be one of Thee lead characters in the upcoming avengers movies feels sick and twisted.

Secret Invasion was actually passable until the G’iah scene at the end. That ruined it. And Nick Fury deserved way better for his solo series.

Kang is so much more interesting than Doctor Doom. I really hope they just recast him.

Carol Danvers does NOT deserve the hate she gets.

I actually disliked Carol until The Marvels. That movie made me a stan.

The way people treat Monica as Wanda’s little inferior pet creation or smth & then brag about it is uhh very sus.

I don’t like sylvie (bc she’s an amalgamation of 3 different comic characters- which killed any hopes of them appearing individually in the mcu, the creators used her existence to butcher Loki’s genderfluid rep, & she was written poorly) & I HATE sylki (bc it’s weird & unnecessary).

Marvel isn’t dead. I actually love where they’re taking things. But that’s just me.

[sephythespooky]

DCA secret skeletons

HAPPY HALLOWEEN @tyra-altavilla, i'm your secret skeleton <3

i'm mostly a writer and it was so scary to get a prompt that seemed drawing-centric but I did the best I could! I hope you like it <3

words under the cut

Sun was eagerly laying out boxes and felt, glue sticks and pipe cleaners, giggling eagerly. He’d already gotten into his chosen costume for this year (thank stars that management didn’t have time to assign one to him or any of the other daycare staff this year!)

His long lanky body was draped in a white robe tied with golden rope and a collar made of carefully chosen plastic gems in red, yellow, and blue.  He had a headband taped to his forehead so his rays could still move, with a tiny cardboard snake on the center, and clip on earrings of colors that matched his collar.

Moon yawned and slipped down on his fly wire, wearing a purple suit and a wig of brown yarn with a purple top hat, “Are we almost ready, Sunny?”

“We are!” he looked up and beamed, “Oh, your costume is so dapper! Who are you, Moony?”

“I’m Willy Wonka,” he grins and pulls a cane out of the dress up box, “and my candies are my moondrops, of course.”

“Oh that’s so clever! I love it!”

“And you’re a pharaoh, right?” he asked gesturing to Sun’s outfit.

“Yes yes yes! Ancient Egyptian outfits are so elegant and pretty!

“Um…” both turned to look at Eclipse, the middle ground between the two and voice of reason, came out of the bathrooms in his own costume, a sparkly wire halo over his head and soft white wings attached to his back around his loop. The long white fabric around him only fell to his ankles, but the look was obvious even if he was shyly shuffling and his rays were partially retracted.

“Clipsy!” Sun went over and hugged him, “You look so cute cute CUTE as an angel, and it’s so perfect for you!”

“Thank you,” Eclipse hummed and relaxed as he hugged Sun back, “I was scared it’d look silly.”

“Clipsy…” Moon cooed as he took over when Sun let go. “Why would you ever look silly to us?”

“W-well…after what happened before the refurbishment…” he fidgeted his hands behind moon’s back, “I didn’t know if…if I’d deserve this kind of costume.”

Both of the other animatronics felt their metaphorical hearts crack.

“If…anyone here,” Moon sighs softly as he lets go, “doesn’t deserve to be an angel, Clipsy, it’s me. You did nothing wrong. You couldn’t possibly have stopped anything or fixed it. You got Cassie out of our daycare and away from our chaos. You calmed the storm that virus had caused in my mind and Sun’s to an extent.”

“He’s right,” Sun’s own rays were deep in their slots with heartache, “I was so so so MEAN to the people just trying to do their jobs and sometimes it even bled to the kids and…Clipsy, between Moony and I, if anybody deserves that halo, it’s you.”

The three were very down for a few seconds, but a loud “fwump” and clatter of balls changed that pretty quickly.

Another set of rays, darker orange than any of the others, pops out of the balls, along with a dark red and black face, “happy happy halloween, siblings mine~”

The voice was slightly deeper than Sun’s ‘scary’ voice but bright and full of affection.

“Prominence!” Clipsy gasped and ran over to the ballpit, his bells jingling, “What’s your costume?”

“Your is lovely, yes yes, Clipsy. Mine is funny.” The spindly animatronic moved oddly, though being a suit controlled by the wires inside rather than a normal endo explained the fluidity. “Ta-da!”

Walking out of the balls, Prominence showed off his white jumpsuit with red stripe on the side, with matching helmet, “I’m Turbo-tastic, heeheehee. I figured, if I am an arcade glitch and HE was an arcade glitch sort of, then its appropriate, yes yes.”

His brother clapped for him and Sun giggled, “It seems most of us wore white without meaning to except for Moony.”

“I don’t mind standing out. I already do since you three have warm colors mostly and I’m all cool blues.” Moon leaned on his cane and smirked, “Besides, isn’t there a line about taking a sunrise and making a lemon pie in the song from the original Wonka movie or am I forgetting?”

“no that’s right,” Clipsy chuckled. “But it’s good to see we’re all happy with our costumes and nobody has to change or something.”

“Why would we have have to change?” Prominence asked curiously as he curled up on top of the playhouse.

“I thought,” Clipsy looked at Moon, “that someone might pick a costume that is too scary for the kids.”

“I have one like that,” Moon grinned, smug as a shark, “but that is saved for the haunt later tonight. Teens and adults are fair game for scaring, after all.”

“Ooooh, can I help you, please please, Moon?” Prominence’s eyes glittered as he plonked his helmet onto his head, retracting his rays, “I can be real spooky scary, yes yes, can try to copy the cybug version maybe? Borrow some arcade machines from DJ’s back room for it?”

“Might be a good idea, but we’ll have to ask Freddy. He has final say,” Moon nodded, happy one of his brothers wanted to scare on this happy holiday.

“I don’t know why you two like that. I do not not NOT like screams and running at all,” Sun groaned a bit, “It’s so grating on my gears.”

“I don’t like it for more the emotions behind it, but I do agree,” Clipsy murmured, “Still, if it makes everybody happy in the end, I don’t see the harm.”

“Understanding as always,” Moon hummed and used his fly wire to swim gracefully through the air, “Now, I believe we have a daycare to open!”

“Right you are!” Sun ran after him, with the other two on his heels. If there was one thing all of them agreed on, it was that they loved their jobs and playing with the kids was the best part of any day.

[elina-sakura]

Top Ten Favorite MDA Characters

Note: I am referring to both canon and fanon elements, and the ranking is not because of negative emotions but my feelings and preferences.

Major Spoilers for the entire game by the way

1. Yuma Kokohead

Of course, I love the little amnesiac ‘trainee’ full of anxiety. I just love anxious characters who have to struggle being the hero of the story in such dangerous situations. He just makes the perfect candidate for hurt/comfort stories. I love the relationships he has with the Nocturnal Detective Agency, I love how he wants to help everyone (even if he doesn’t have the best tact), and I love his angsty moments in his head (I love me some good angst). And when we learn of his true identity in the end, it really shines a light on his character more both outside and in-game. All of his flaws and the impacts to the story he made and the struggles he had. But most importantly the connections he made with others, the core part of the entire game and his character, is what makes me love him so much.

2. Yakou Furio

I don’t know why I’m so hyperfixated on this character. Maybe it’s because he’s the mentor character of the protagonist, and ended up giving me father-figure vibes to me with Yuma. Despite his flaws, he is such a good character who has been through so much, yet cares deeply for the people he loves and the city itself. And protect the detectives he took in, even with how much trouble they cause. But Chapter 4 and post-game is where I really start to appreciate him with his backstory revealed and how far he’s willing to go for the ones he love. Here’s to hoping he returns in post-game contents or hopefully sequels.

(NOTE: This is purely my preferences. I do not want to cause discourse or make people feel bad who ship Yuma and Yakou romantically; you guys do you with Yumakou and I’ll be happy with Yakou Fathero).

3. Makoto Kagutsuchi

Okay, this is where we really get to spoilers here since it happened post-game, but he became my favorite character right to the top three just because of who he is. An enigma who holds the secret of Kanai Ward, who created the mysteries in his hands, yet his motivations and heart was only filled with good intentions (despite having to make human meat buns). A young man who had to hold the secret for so long all on his own, try to fix many problems that weren’t actually his fault, finding purpose and his own identity outside of his original, and his relationship with Yuma as a whole. Complex, morally grey characters always catches my interests, especially when they are the antagonists.

4. Desuhiko Thunderbolt

I know, shocking. My favorite out of the four Master Detectives in the NDA is the perverted Superstar Detective, but when you look past the trope (and Chapter 2 and that one DLC scene as a whole) you would see there is a lot of depth to his character. He’s kind of the only one (confirmed so far) who had a pretty normal childhood and actually has relatable struggles a lot of people can probably relate to (being a shy and possibly bullied kid who wants to be a better version of themselves), who desires to be a Superstar and a detective at the same time and doesn’t want to be just one or the other, and is an all-around cool guy and loyal friend who could get along with people when he isn’t being a creep or overly obnoxious. It’s just too bad the writers seem to think the pervert trope would be a good way to add comedy when his obnoxious and goofball nature would probably be enough to get some comedy out of him. I want to hope maybe the writers would make Desuhiko less of a pervert in the future, but I’m not gonna get my hopes up. I just hope people can possibly see through the trope to see the real Superstar under the gross exterior (metaphorically-wise).

5. Kurumi Wendy

I’m honestly surprise she’s high on the list, but with how much I try to expand her character and how much fics I want to do with her, I’d say she definitely made it to the top five of the list. Kurumi is someone where I see a lot of potential in her character, but the writers ended up underutilizing her. She’s a high school informant who lost her grandfather to the overarching mystery, and her best friend a few months ago, and finds a special connection with Yuma and become one of his supporting partners alongside Shinigami. There’s a lot of potentials with her character, like seeing how the losses of important people in her life affected her, how she lives as a high school informant, and see her feelings on detectives and her relationship with Yuma, the new friend she feels a connection with and someone who gives her hope. But unfortunately, the writers end up making a bigger focus on making her the love interest of Yuma, and outside of that, make her an exposition dump. Heck, even in Chapter 5, I’m pretty sure Makoto only brought her with Yuma so she could tell him the informations needed to solve Kanai Ward’s Ultimate Secret, and discover that she and everyone else are Homunculi. It’s honestly sad because there’s so much to her character that could have made her stand out on her own, and I wish was utilized more.

6. Fubuki Clockford

Fubuki is such an adorable character and kind of relatable to me in being an airhead (though not to the extremes as she is). She’s kind and friendly to her peers, and is very imaginative as well when it comes to what she hears, like believing the sky is the ocean (if you look at it from an art perspective, it would be pretty cool). And especially her inner struggles on how she recognizes how slow-witted she is and how her time power leads her distraught when she’s not able to prevent the terrible outcomes she witnesses. Chapter 3 really shined a spotlight on her character, and one of the few spots that makes Chapter 3 worthwhile.

7. Halara Nightmare

Now this is a character I feel I have a lot in common with, specifically in real life. I tend to be rude and asocial (though only if I’m tired and overworked). I don’t like to be physically touched at all unless I give permission and told a head of times. I prefer to work alone when it comes to my work (in this case, my schoolwork). And I am definitely, sadly allergic to cats, especially since I feel connected with cats in personality at times. So I can relate to Halara in some aspects even though I sometimes am off-put by how harsh they are with Yuma in Chapter 1. I understand it’s because they want Yuma to figure things out for himself since he needs to quickly relearn things as a Detective and get to work on solving Kanai Ward’s Ultimate Secret (if anything, I commend them for putting in the effort to give some teaching to Yuma in some ways), and in hindsight they were working as an assistant to Yuma so they must have felt they shouldn’t have to do the job for Yuma (which I can’t blame). But sometimes they get a little too harsh and I just feel bad for Yuma.

8. Vivia Twilight

He is definitely an enigma of his own that interests me (though probably not as much as everyone else). A character who’s of his own agency and his own agendas and interests, and I love that kind of morally grey characters. Especially in Chapter 4 and the DLC where we got to know him more. And I enjoyed how he was a rival to Yuma for Chapter 4 who challenged the beliefs in discovering the truth, and that he was the only one who truly knew about Yuma and Shinigami. I honestly wish there were more interactions between the two after that. It really would have feel like their relationship would have been so unique and deep and interesting. And his relationship with Yakou really felt special after the DLC revealed their backstory together.

9. Shinigami

It’s usually kind of rare for me to like and be interested in mascot characters. And Shinigami surprisingly wins me over. At first, she definitely annoyed me with how she doesn’t exactly empathize with Yuma’s predicament sometimes and her callous nature with murderers sometimes (specifically in Chapter 2), but I can also understand that that’s her major flaw: lack of empathy. She’s a Death God whose natural job is to reap souls and uphold the concept of death. So of course, she’s not gonna understand whenever someone is stressed or feels empathy even with criminals. But that’s what make her character arc that leads to Chapter 4 all the more special. The previous murderers she reaped were those she barely got to know of, Yuma included, so it’s understandable to have a detachment with them, but the chapter 4 culprit was someone both she and Yuma knew, someone that really does make her understand his breakdown.

10. Pucci Lavmin

Pucci was one of my favorite Master Detectives I was looking forward to getting know. She’s a young woman (who may be close to Yuma’s age) who loves cute stuff like teddy bears, has sensitive hearing and gets snappy when too many people talk, and has a resting b!tch face. Seriously, I connect with her so much in these elements, and even thought she was going to be the female deuteragonist that we’ve seen/gotten from Danganronpa. So I was crushed when I learned she died and it was real and not a tutorial trick or something. It’s why she’s on the bottom of the list. She didn’t have as much screen time and development with her. Yes, including Kurumi, the real deuteragonist, who even though was underutilized at least had the groundwork for what kind of developments she could have had.

[murdrdocs]

im just thinking abt domestic!jj ...

i think that a domestic life might not be what jj was looking for in the first place, but whenever he started to spend more time with you and saw how slow and easy you took it, he couldn’t help but melt into your embrace like butter in a pan. he spends more time at your place until he’s basically living there, and he doesn’t wanna feel like a leech so he starts to pull his own weight around the place. 

learning how to properly cook and clean, getting better and better at organization until all of your combined items live in a semi-perfect harmony. you take turn doing the laundry, and as soon as he forgets one time, he’s immediately apologizing. “i’m so, so sorry, babe. i could’ve sworn we did the laundry like a few days ago and i know it was my turn but i’ll make it up to you, okay?” 

and he does. always. 

if the rest of the pogues are hanging at yours, for dinner or something, it’s peak domesticity and jj is the happiest in that setting. surrounded by his family, in a safe home, clean and wearing clothes that smells like you, eating a meal that both of you cooked. 

which is why i fully think he’s ready to pop a metaphorical ring on your finger ... years down the line, of course. but even in the beginning of your relationship, whenever things started to feel safe and secure, he started talking about giving you his last name, or hyphenating (”i would sound good with your last name, right?). if you want kids, he’s down! like so so down! 

he either wants 3 or 5, no in between. at first, he’s always talking to you about how he’s always wanted a boy, but you can see that fear in his eyes when he does (you assume its because he doesn’t want to mess his son up like his dad did with him, but you don’t bring it up). but he is an absolute girl dad. one hundred percent. 

wants his kids put into sports, as many as possible, no matter how expensive. gymnastics, figure skating, ice dancing, baseball, basketball, football, soccer, cheerleading. “we could have the whole team in our house” 

the lazy sunday mornings !! once jj acclimates to an easy life, he completely thrives in it. 

(but of course he needs to wreck a little havoc and cause some trouble every now and then. you two meet in the middle)

[gnashingwailing]

Kept notes on a reread I was doing of The Art of Love and War because I am so obsessed with the gay little borrower darkfic... sharing with u @fireflywritesgt

it falls apart at ch12 because that is where i consistently turn into a puddle under my covers kicking my legs and making sounds only audible to shrimps.

I HOPE THIS IS A SMALL TOKEN OF APPRECIATION FOR HOW GUD THIS FIC IS, SINCERELY... LIKE I SAID PUTTING THIS IN SOMEBODY'S INBOX IS PROBABLY A WAR CRIME. SO.

There is soooo muuuuch I want to saaaay. I did a reread and excuse my being verbose but.

Ch10 where Harry reads about how tinies don’t ask for things and prefer to do favors for them — how extra insulting that makes his message in Ch1!! “Just ask” no wonder Joe was so pissed!!

ALSO him feeling “dirty, somehow” about accepting chocolate that didn’t kill him… was he having a little bit of feelings for “the kind man” and it got transmuted into self-loathing… 😭 oh internalized homophobia tag we’re really in it now…

Re: ch2 I would kill for Joe’s pov of this… I’m also so fascinated to pick up the detail that Joe apparently talked to himself regularly, for Harry to hear him through the radiator pipes… one assumes Joe doesn’t have guests. Poor guy! He’s really smart! He likes talking! The assistant job is perfect for himmmm.

Re: ch3, i wonder how much Captain Calloway’s “if you die it’s your own damn fault” has influenced Joe’s life ethos of fucking around and finding out (btw… Harry would be sooo horrified to know Joe had been poisoned 3 times and still tried that chocolate 😭 yet another fun! anecdote of his) … im also kinda curious about Gutters. What’s that guy’s deal. And OF. COURSE. How Captain got all his injuries. It’s also so very sad he feels this tension with the guys, what they’d do to him if they knew more about who he really was. I love this as a metaphor for homophobia…

Ch5 I’m still fixated on the giants who are guarding the place. Hundreds of tinies going there every day… you’d think there’d be snatchers all over the place 👀 and the other great worldbuilding… lab tinies… “they were corralling everyone everywhere and the women and kids went one way…” GOD. also them building tiny capitalism plus tiny race science is just 😭😭😭 noooo… the way Harry reinforces their shared dignity and humanity by showing genuine interest in Joe’s art.. ouuuugh it hits every time.

ALSO I WAS SO SUSPICIOUS OF HILL WHEN I FIRST READ CH6 BUT NOW THST I KNOW HE IS A BONA FIDE WIFEGUY ALL IS REDEEMED. I AM so curious as to why he keeps tiny town schematics in his office if he dislikes it…

Ch7 profoundly funny to me how Hill is like “miniature is the academic term” and Joe is like what. Tinies.

I really appreciate how Harry started off having some uh. Idk. Colonizer savior complex stuff + noble savage ideas about Joe? Like “oh it’s in mother nature’s hands whether he survives then… I see…” as if the tinies social constructs about Pets are some immutable fact of nature instead of. A social construct !! It’s really well-done, how you show him gradually understanding that he needs to listen to Joe, not assume he knows what’s best for him just because he read a 50yr old anthropology book!! It makes me love Harry all the more that he managed to grow through it out of fondness for Joe 🥺

AND OF COURSE. THE G/T GOODNESS. My god. I loooooove that Joe is so creeped out by giants that he has to keep his eyes closed to stomach it… just feels. Hmm. Realistic?? It would be so overwhelming. I love that his trust gets rewarded with the doctor not hurting him…

The rapport they establish being based on talking to one another… it’s just suuuuch a perfect central theme for this story… Joe being able to tame Harry’s anger by reminding him of Joe’s own humanity. “Please don’t do that, doc. This is mean. You’re being mean.” And “you’re treating me like I’m not even… not even…” UGH. RENT FREE IN MY HEAD, WARREN. “Maybe he could do it; maybe he could sit in the same room as a giant for five minutes. He would only have to do it once, and then he would never have to do it again, he reasoned.” Bitch u thought… get loved and cared for idiot…

Joe asking him “why not”, echoing Harry’s words that stuck with him…

And then him being sooo pissed at the phone it’s just absolutely amazing stuff. Wagging his finger at it/Dr Hill lmaooo. I was hootin and hollerin when I realized this foreshadows him being the assistant!!! He can talk on the phone just fine!!!!

His legs threatening to give way from the prospect of Harry seeing him at ground level after he escapes using the phone receiver… ouuugh. It’s SO GOOD. He’s come such a long way…

“Touching every wooden beam he passed for good luck” is INCREDIBLY cute mental imagery.., he’s happy… poor guy has awful luck tho so Harry is just pissed 😭 HIM NEARLY DESTROYING THE PLATES BECSUSE HARRY SCARED HIM SO BAD HAD ME FEELING.. SOME KIND OF WAY…

Ch8 also has the first mention of Joe’s books… I’m sooo curious where he got these.. did he perhaps make them…? 👀 YEAH HARRY SHOULD FEEL LIKE A MONSTER THO. YOU TERRORIZED A LIL MOVIE STAR!!! HE ONLY BROKE A FEW THINGS… Making him hide under his covers like he saw a monster… 😭

I love their first god awful handshake lmao. Incredible subversion of the usual g/t first meetings… Joe’s just like OK 👋 NOW GET THAT THANG OUTTA HERE

And then Joe going “I know about that!” Joe protested, his voice growing stronger. “It’s up to me, doc. If it happens, it happens and it’ll be my own damn fault.” … something tells me when Harry finally comes to understand Joe’s recklessness with his own life and what feelings about its worth may be underpinning that, he will be so sad 😔

Joe losing his toes to frostbite… realizing that could very likely be from when he was kidnapped and enslaved with O’Grady… uuuugh he’s so brave to want to connect with anybody at all let alone with Harry!!

Ch9 professor wifeguy moments… yesss… I love that he wants to hang out with another tiny too 😭 Joe is making friends!! I can’t wait to find out about Lorraine and what “other place” she knows about!!! Lmfao I can tell she’s going to be incredible just from the little bit Joe hears of her. I wonder too if she’s been marked… aahhh I’m so excited to learn more about these two. How interesting of a parallel, too, that Harry noted Dr Hill might also be a former soldier… something-something folks unable to fully integrate into society finding and building community with each other…

Also PROFOUNDLY interested to note on a reread that the tiny town on his wall says “a SAFE place to be” and the one in Riverdale said “a CIVILIZED place to be” 😬 a damn prison indeed… I also really wonder just HOW the tinies are paying their rent(?) to stay there, if they’re all as disdainful of “borrowing” as a career as O’Grady seems to be…

MAY I JUST NOTE that Joe stimming around is sooo charming to me. He’s kickin’ his legs. He’s pacing back and forth. He’s doing something like that in the walls when Harry was first listening to him. I LOVE HIM.. aND I love how this chapter we see him going from “that tall bastard (derogatory)” to “that tall bastard (amused)”

AND POOR JOE ON THE MOST CURSED FIELD TRIP IMAGINABLE. There is much to love here but I absolutely adore this imagery: “Joe buried himself in the curtain as the doctor, dressed to the nines in his work clothes and vaguely resembling a horse in a brown suit, sidled over to him and towered there and seethed.” HE’S TERRIFIED 😭 and Joe learns that other people value his wellbeing more than he does… wow Joe no need to ponder that any further until Ch15!!!

There’s SO much incredible prose in this chapter… the haaaaands oh my god the hands. The tinies are on the order of 2-3 inches tall, right? You really get a vivid sense of how big and dangerous everything is to them… absolutely A+ stuff.

This part also slays me everytime I think about it: “Joe was hidden inside [the pocket], and the thought of how unhinged his dear neighbour must look to his fellow giants as he walked and talked gave him no small amount of delight.” HE WOUUUULD.

The mystery of just what Joe created as a boy… what he can’t find it in himself to articulate… why he can hardly fathom talking about himself and his inner world to anyone …

PART 10… the difference in the way Joe confronts Harry here vs with the assistant in part 16 is somehow heartbreaking to me. I think the anger must just be displacement for how he’s really feeling (worried, uncomfortable…) and he’s more able to show his feelings to Harry with the assistants than he is now… but Joeeeee. I don’t ever want him to feel hopeless with Harry, like he just has to accept whatever he wants 😭 I love him in this chapter… Arms crossed, eyes narrowed… red faced… clawing at the air as he ranted Jdhdhdj GOD HE’S SO ICONIC: ““Nope. Not gonna happen! Veto!” Joe leapt up from the box, strode all the way to the edge of the table, and jabbed a finger at him. “I don’t know what kind of sick, twisted doctor things you intend to do to people but whatever it is, it’s not happening in my house!”” I guess I want him to still be comfortable with yelling veto at Harry lmao!!

And then Joe being like WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU SAVING ME THE OTHER DAY. THAT MEANS NOTHING TO ME, A WILD AND INDEPENDENT TINY WHO HAD IT ALL UNDER CONTROL, AT ALL.

ALSO: the way he words this, I have a strong suspicion he does not know the word “patients”?! “”Let’s make a deal in exchange for patients. Give me something in exchange for patients.” Joe stammered. “You do that and I won’t make any trouble.””

Harry thinking of Joe as “the little bastard” in counterpoint to Joe’s “the tall bastard” really makes me smile too, hahahah.

AND THE FURTHER G/T TROPE INVERSION… just because he was willing to get in the giant’s hands one time doesn’t mean he’s suddenly fine with it!! I love how pissed they are at each other over this misunderstanding lmfao. He’s 👏 a 👏 wild 👏 tiny 👏 ‼️

And it’s so meaningful to me that the two of them bond more over sharing art with one another… Harry wants to introduce Joe to an amazing piano player… and Joe is so happy!!! The idea for a Charlie Chaplin bit with a rich miniature woman is SO inspired btw, I was as delighted as Joe was 😭 Harry being like “oh shit wait is this offensive” and then Joe just being like “THIS FUCKS SO HARD LMAO IT REALLY DO BE LIKE THAT”

And then the tragic aftermath… Harry NOTICING that he didn’t even know that he was doing anything wrong by bringing Joe there, it just FELT so dreadfully taboo (enough that Hill, who is MARRIED TO A TINY, also seems like he’s been caught doing something wrong when Harry first meets him)…. and then of course society reinforces that fear in a terrible way. Only a shared humanity regarding love of art saves poor Joe.. how lucky he’s gotten enough exposure to be able to speak in the presence of giants. You have to ponder how many tinies just as wonderfully complex as him have died for not having that skill. It’s so very sad!!! THE IMAGERY OF HIM ON THE LAMP LIKE IT’S A STREETCORNER JUST TWISTED THE KNIFE. Your writing really is so excellent, the way you can carry us through so many different emotions… Joe my belovedddd. I’m simply obsessed with the implications of him NAMING HARRY. WHAT IS /THAT/?? And the way that the narration in the story from this point on swaps to using Harry as his name… it speaks VOLUMES without you needing to elaborate on it at all. Joe has changed him! He’s becoming someone he likes better than Herman! A day we had good luck… Harry is good luck… Luck as a concept very different from what giants think of… I am absolutely enamored with how clearly he has a whole other world, another culture, that Harry can only guess at and be grateful to be included in.

JOE GETTING A NICE BATH AND A COMFORTABLE BED IN THIS CHAPTER IS JUST SO WHOLESOME (even if it will torment his Calvinist sensibilities later…) I am also so charmed to imagine how Joe must have woken up and been like “what the FUCK did I do last night. Where the HELL am I 🤨”

And then in Ch11 he’s like I WILL PROCEED NOT TO THINK OF THAT AT ALL. <- clueless

Ch11 is one of my favorites I think… we really get a good glimpse into how much heavy-duty rationalizing Joe is doing LMAO. “Taking food is fine, because I’m just using this tall bastard.” “It’s fine if I have leisure time.” “It’s fine if I like Harry and his company and I miss him when he’s gone and I want to give him a name.” “AS LONG AS I DON’T GET COMFORTABLE ALL OF THIS IS FINE.” This line is such a banger lol: “Joe Piccoli was many things as he went to sleep that night, but he was not a pet, and he was not comfortable.” And then the mouse!!! That Joe decides to draw rather than kill!!! Look at his needs being met!!!!!

IT ALSO ABSOLUTELY FUCKIN KILLED ME WHEN I REALIZED IN THIS CHAPTER THAT THE BOYS HAVE JUST. FULLY LEFT THAT FLOORBOARD OFF LMFAO??? THAT’S HIS SKYLIGHT NOW…

And then. Good god. The arm scene… it’s just. Soooo. 👌👌👌👌 I’m so … 😵‍💫💖❤️‍🔥…

“I’m a wild tiny!” “You’re going to be a dead tiny if that gets infected.” Their dynamic is so fucking funny. AND THE TENDERNESS OF HARRY TOUCHING JOE… Joe being so overwhelmed not exactly with fear but HMMM I WONDER WHAT EMOTION AND WHY HE MIGHT FEEL SO OVERWHELMED HE STILL NEEDS TO CLOSE HIS EYES AND PRETEND HE’S HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOOR AGAIN… 🤔🤔🤔 whyever would the touch of this kind giant make his hair stand on end and make him contemplate the reverence he’s being touched with and leave his cheeks burning… it is a mystery

And then Joe being so afraid the mouse would be hurt because in contrast to the kindness he’s been shown, he still has this long history of awful experiences with giants.. this part in particular made my heart hurt:

“Don’t kill the mouse, Harry, please don’t kill it. It’s just like me. It hasn’t done anything to you.” Joe begged.

Followed by him remembering that this is /Harry, his friend, who he knows/:

“The words hit Joe like the breaking of a spell, and he stood in the kitchen windowsill feeling downright foolish. Of course Harry wouldn’t kill the mouse, Joe realized - of course he wouldn’t do that.”

OUGH. This story is SO delicious I’m beyond obsessed…

The two of them having a much less Charged encounter after Joe has resolved some of his internal conflicts, at least for the moment… chatting away like they’re two normal friends while Harry touches him… 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 I LOVE THESE TWO SO MUCH‼️

Their motorcycle shenanigans… Harry showing Joe his precious Contraption and Joe absolutely hating it omg it was so peak 😭 PLAYING “WHO’S-MORE-BORING CHICKEN”… the way Joe is like “I would rather Die than have to listen to this guy talk about how he’s more exciting than me. Absolutely not.”

I also very much appreciate the foreshadowing of the street car on this re-read…

AND may I say I really love that they went on a little nature trip together!!! I have thought often of the potential of a g/t story set outdoors, where the normal sized person and the tiny are both made small by how all-encompassing the wilderness is. Something to do with camping or backpacking! Maybe something I want to write one day! This gave me a delightful taste of that.

AND ANYWAY THE ACCEPTING OF COMFORT EVEN AS IT FLIES IN THE FACE OF EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN TAUGHT TO ROMANTICIZE AND VALUE… ouuuughhh GET LOVED IDIOT!! GET SEEN AND KNOWN AND TAKEN CARE OF!!!

And then ch12… Harry’s realization that Joe won’t ever bring up anything if it’s just for his own benefit. Which by the way, on a re-read I can appreciate how cleverly you’ve set this up, if I didn’t write that clearly enough before! There’s something cultural there but also, I think, something uniquely Joe that Harry maybe can’t fully see yet. Harry’s watch from his parents breaking down at the same moment he’s trying to change his relationship with Joe, the new most important person in his life (at least I presume! He doesn’t seem to have other close friends/family) … very very good. This sentence is so evocative. Simultaneously funny and sad: “With the way Joe’s eyes shifted from side to side one would think the doctor had suggested they go rob a bank.” It’s very good angst realizing how much Harry is asking of Joe without him even knowing it…

BTW this part is so delightful. They’re so interested in each other!!! “When his footsteps announced his arrival, he could see the tiny’s movements through the missing floorboards as his neighbour crossed the floor and climbed back up to the windowsill above the counter.” <- guy who absolutely has NOT been gotten

“Joe smiling. A rare sight indeed.” JUST…. My heaaaart ‼️‼️

Also hilarious how Joe and now Harry have both had “mmm I do NOT like the way this guy is smiling right now” moments 🤣

GOD tho, Joe’s opening up about getting snatched… much like Harry, it made me feel absolutely beside myself.

^^^ AS YOU CAN SEE. I'VE FULLY FALLEN APART.

[wipverse]

random facts #3

Favorite game?

Nightmare – he is a Fossil. The guys got him Mario and it’s now the only game he plays(and he’s damn good at it). Aside from that, he plays dating sims on his phone when he’s bored(which he would never admit to)

Killer – MINECRAFT forever. He is everything your 3 week mc faze was but all the time and at max intensity. It’s his absolute favorite game because he doesn’t have to think too hard about it and can dissociate to it when he’s having a hard time. It helps that there’s no clear objective or timeline of events he’s tied to, so he can have a level of control he doesn’t irl, plus all the mods, shaders and different maps makes for an as close to happy as he could be Killer.

Dust – Mr “video games are for kids” who absolutely destroys EVERY. SINGLE. BEING. At Just Dance, Dance dance revolution and any rhythm game u can think of. But that doesn’t count…….. why? “Because I said so” -Dust

Horror– Stardew Valley, followed closely by Animal Crossing. Why? Pretty simple. Farming games first, and the controlled social aspect of friendships(and romantic interests in stardew). Stardew is not an easy game, but it’s not challenging in a way Horror can’t keep up with. Repetitive tasks and anything relating to food is his forte, after so many years of cooking and managing his own little farm(not to mention the private, quiet lessons from farmtale!sans when he goes to pick up food for his au)

(all i know about stardew i know through youtube and tiktok. keep that in mind)

Cross – used to be Mr “I can’t afford yo waste time on silly things like that” until he chilled tf out and started trying the games he saw others playing on the communal consoles. His favorite game is, unfortunately, CSGO, and he frequently plays with Killer just to absolutely annihilate the latter.

Zerox – Hue! Charming little game that has his whole heart and soul. First game they 100%ed out of pure love for it and desire for it to not end. Perfect mix between a nice, simple story with a happy ending and genuinely difficult puzzles wrapped in a fun concept!

S – He doesn’t play video games, actually. Of any kind. Yeah… not joking. Any free time he gets is spent somewhere out in nature or at Ccino's. Unfortunately for him, he doesn’t get much truly free time, but Zero does bring him coffee from Ccino's often enough that it’s bearable.

Bonus

Error – The Talos Principle. Perfect, immaculate, holds up incredibly well years later. (he went against Elohim from the first word he uttered). The only thing on par with his love for this game is Road to Gehenna, so, basically, nothing beats it or comes anywhere near. 100/10, author is planning on replaying it very soon as well.

(as a little aside, Error and Zero actually form a tentative friendship over their shared love for puzzle game, though Zero is borderline bad at them.)

Dream – He’s a phone game kinda guy, let’s be honest. The only games he plays are sudoku, word-related and tetris-like. His most recent favourite is 1010

Ink – Human Fall Flat. Need I say more? Probably. The amount of puzzles he’s skipped by accidentally parkouring around/over/through them is insane, and it makes him feel Good. Plus, it has no story he’d inevitably forget.

Blue – Little Nightmares, despite what you may think at first. He finds horror games therapeutic, and worked out his frustration at feeling so metaphorically small through playing Little Nightmares 1 and 2. While 1 is his favorite by far impact-wise, he loves how the story comes full circle and the lore implications of Little Nightmares 2

[just-patchy]

💗💖💘 For the oc currently being microwaved in your brain 👀

Thanks for the ask! :3c

my current fav is my mha kid fukuro who i’ve never talked about on here but also i don’t really have ships for him??? with the final war arc and all the other stuff i never got around to developing him more lol

i’m not gonna use him for all 3 (re: no ships) so i’m gonna sub in some ships i DO have instead, also the kiss parts are microscopic bc idk how to write anymore, and it’s just long + imbalanced bc I Forgor How To Write

also a slight nsfw/suggestive warning? kind of???

💗 slow kiss / gentle kiss / inevitable / soft | Hatori Fukuro/Shouji Mezou

many creative liberties taken, i haven’t written properly in a while

Despite what Mezou says, Fukuro will never be convinced that people don’t find the taller boy attractive.

He already sticks out being as tall and muscular as he is, the mask he usually wears only adds an extra layer of mysteriousness, and he’s a perfect gentleman to boot; the type to hold open doors for people or carry your things for you. Fukuro has literal harpies in his family, he doesn’t need to be beating metaphorical ones away with a stick.

He’s kind, far too kind for his own good, and Fukuro can’t help but wonder if part of Mezou’s hometown has taken permanent residence in the younger boy’s heart, if they’re the reason why he’s fine with throwing himself in the line of fire; because he’s big and strong and his arms grow back anyway, because he’s a monster that needs to pull out its fangs and file down its claws to prove that it’s not a threat. He wonders if Mezou was even allowed to have anything as a child, and suddenly his room, only holding the bare essentials, looks like a prison of his own making. He knows Mezou is strong, but that answer is never enough to reassure him.

(He’s not even allowed to show his scars, because he’s still a 15-year-old no matter how buff or strong or monstrous he is, and 15-year-olds make for easy scapegoats in the face of bigger societal problems that people don’t care about.)

Fukuro’s never sure if he’s enough to make Mezou feel loved, that maybe he should allow himself to be more greedy and selfish and make Mezou his in every way possible, the same way he’s ready to give himself to the younger boy for as long as he’ll have him. The demons from his own past whisper in his ears; how Mezou is only with him out of the kindness of his heart because genetically and scientifically, he’s even more of a deformity despite his human features. There’s no such thing as a male harpy after all, he’s a freak of nature in every sense.

At the very least, he likes to think he’s Mezou’s freak; when he sidles up to the other boy after class and they go find a quiet spot for lunch amidst the hollering of 2-A, when Fukuro steals food out of his boyfriend’s hands and Mezou only wipes away bits of sauce around his mouth, when Fukuro steals a bit more than just food and languidly peppers butterfly kisses where he can reach, including the scars down his neck, when Mezou easily gives twice as much back both with his quirk and his actual mouth.

When they both lean forth to meet in the middle, a moment to themselves in the warm afternoon sun.

———

💖 rough kiss / hot and heavy / making out | Howl Knightley/Cater Diamond

When Cater shows up to meetings with Riddle or the Light Music Club looking…ravished, for the lack of a better word, people don’t believe him when he says it’s Howl’s handiwork. The easygoing second year certainly has the physical prowess to do so, or at least one would hope considering he’s one half of the Twin Knights of Heartslabyul, not just in mannerisms and in name but also ability.

Whether he wants to is another story, and it’s difficult to envision him doing so when he always seems to have his head in the clouds.

As he’s backed against a wall, wrists pinned above him by a large callused hand, a leg slotted between his thighs and a predatory glint in warm greyish-brown eyes, Cater thinks maybe it’s better that people don’t see it.

It’s probably just a spur of the moment thing for Howl, maybe excess steam that he hasn’t let off yet. By Riddle and Kalim’s accounts, he was on a roll today, a rare burst of energy from the laidback knight. Maybe he just found his boyfriend first instead of his twin, considering that he’s always down to fence with Garnet.

Or maybe he just really missed Cater, and the older boy hoped it was the latter because that would be adorable despite the position they were in now.

Cater squeaked as Howl suddenly dropped his head, nestling his face into the crook of his neck and inhaling deeply while mumbling sweet words under his breath. He could barely hear the taller boy but what he caught was enough to paint his face a light rosy red. Howl’s free hand was settled low on his waist, as the knight raised his head to meet the older boy’s gaze, his usual dazed smile spread across his face.

“Hey, Howl-kun? Maybe we should take this back to the dorms, yeah? We’re still outside-“ Cater protested weakly, only to be met with casual humming as Howl cut him off with a kiss, and another, and another, until he was too flustered to speak, only able to stare back at his boyfriend who had the audacity to tilt his head in a childish manner. The nerve of him to look as innocent as he did while he had his boyfriend up against a wall.

“As long as Riddle doesn’t find out, we’re safe~” he replied lazily, and swooped in for a deeper kiss, which Cater enthusiastically returned; if you can’t beat them, join them. He’s sure the other boy’s hair would be a nightmare to detangle once they were done, with how he was tugging and ruining Howl’s braid. Cater arched into the taller boy’s embrace, pressed up against the hard muscle beneath his deceptively slender frame, while Howl’s thumb rubbed small circles where it had slipped under Cater’s shirt. Neither one of them really wanted to stop and take a breather, until-

“Cay-kun, you bit my tongue,” Howl pouted, nipping at Cater’s bottom lip in revenge. It wasn’t intentional, his phone just happened to get a notification (probably from Magicam or a reminder for his Heartslabyul duties) and he��might have accidentally bit down in surprise. He snuck a peek at his phone before looking back up at the (still-pouting) taller boy.

“I’m sorry! I’ll make it up to you later, okay?” Cater gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the nose, before taking him by the hand and dragging him in the direction of the Hall of Mirrors.

“Let’s go before Riddle-kun takes our heads off!”

———

💘 fake relationship / mutual pining / dared to kiss | Stefano Fuoco/Azul Ashengrotto

It was supposed to be a quick thing, a one-shot for the masses to eat up before they moved on to the next big thing; “The Fuocos’ Elusive Son Spotted With Mysterious Beau” or whatever trashy headlines gossip sites came up with nowadays. Just because he doesn’t really show his face in public doesn’t mean people don’t know who he is, and being the farthest thing from a social creature doesn’t mean people won’t talk.

There are still rumours of him buying his way into Night Raven College, whispered taunts laced with accusations of nepotism. Not that he cares, everyone who was present in the Florenetta theatre that day probably dreams of wires and tattered rags stained with ink once in a blue moon. He’s more than powerful enough by the school’s standards, and there were better uses for his family name even when it came down to it.

Still, it is a fact that hanging out with Azul is very much a publicity stunt, a business deal like everything else the merman does. Azul gets to put his foot in the door of the catering industry (on land anyways) and Stefano can slowly make a name for himself beyond his parents’ shadows, posting about his directorial work here and there.

That’s all there is to it. Whatever feelings he has are set aside in the face of professionalism.

Sometimes, late at night when fatigue is still settling into his bones, Stef wonders if Azul feels something as well. The tips of his ears turn a soft shade of pink when they talk alone, and he gets a little flustered sometimes when they practise hand-holding or some other fluffy couple thing before someone’s camera starts rolling. Sometimes, Azul seems to look a little more smug than he usually does when Stef praises him, a hint of embarrassment also present if the director squints hard enough.

He’s probably just overthinking, but when he leans in to steal a kiss from Azul under the guise of practice, he starts wishing for a second, a third, or just that Azul will think of him when he kisses someone else, that he’ll never forget how warm the director feels against him.

He’ll allow himself the slight happiness of knowing that he was also Azul’s first.

[gabessquishytum]

okay a trans hob concept for you. honestly i think this counts as crack treated seriously because the basic concept here is "top surgery via Endless" but now i'm just emotional about hobstruction so. okay.

so. hob's in his soldering days, he's off fighting in france, and he takes a fatal wound. which would be unpleasant enough already, but a few of his mates definitely saw, so there's no going back to camp, he's going to have to make it back to england on his own. he stops in the first tavern he comes to so he can have a drink and a meal and a bit of a sulk, and promptly hits it off with a red headed giant of a man who says he's also travelling to england so why don't they go together?

obviously they wind up fucking that night and they head off in the morning, they fuck every evening when they stop for the evening, and a few days in hob's comfortable enough with his new friend that he goes on a bit of a rant about his body. because he likes his body! he does! his mam was a tall, strong woman and he was lucky enough to take after her. he's got broad shoulders, strong thighs. he honestly quite likes the way his waist tucks in just a bit, the way his hips are a bit wider than most men's. and sure, he wouldn't mind having a nice proper big cock, but he likes the one he's got, and he likes his cunt.

it's just his chest he doesn't like. because he's got fairly big tits, alright, and christ but they're frustrating to try and keep out of the way, let alone if he wants to actually be able to breathe. he'd happily cut them off, he says, but he doesn't imagine it would be worth it (because the healing would likely kill a normal man, he doesn't say. because he suspects they'd just grow back, he doesn't say).

and destruction of the endless, not yet planning to abandon his realm but spending a great deal of time thinking about inverses and destruction and creation and change, says that. well. if hob's willing to trust him, and he's alright with possibly a lot of pain, he might be able to help with that.

it does hurt. rather a lot. and the results aren't perfect -- his chest isn't quite symmetrical, his nipples aren't quite even -- but hob happily points out (to a fretting destruction) that bodies aren't perfectly symmetrical, destruction's work doesn't look perfect but that makes it look real and hob's so fucking thrilled.

hob's very clearly over the moon for the rest of their trek back to england. there's a literal and metaphorical weight off his chest. and destruction gets to see that... maybe he's onto something, with all his musings about his nature. maybe he really can be something more than destruction, or maybe being destruction doesn't have to be such a bad thing. he's done something right by this one human, and that has to count for something. maybe that can be a start.

-🐈‍⬛

Trans Hob is really something that can be SO personal huh. I'm not kidding when I say this ask picked me up by the scruff of my neck and shook me around like a kitten.

I may have started writing this as a fic (by which I mean I have 1,500 words so far) so I'll share a teeny tiny snippet with you <3

It’s always a risk for Hob to undress, whether he’s bedding a man or a woman. He’s had every reaction he can possibly imagine, from horror to pleasure. He thinks instinctively that his red headed friend won’t be too fussed by the big reveal, and he really isn’t. It’s almost like he already knew.

He doesn’t go straight for Hob’s tits, like most men tend to. His massive hands fall at Hob’s trim waist instead, smoothing over the spread of his hips. Hob keens softly and bites his own lip as his lower belly is so tenderly caressed. He’s wet already and he whimpers openly when a huge thumb and finger find his pulsing cock. He feels big between those digits, much to his surprise and pleasure. His companion hums, pleased and curious. Hob abruptly remembers that he doesn’t know this man’s name.

That's all you get for now ;D thank you for kicking my ass into gear to FINALLY write an actual Hob x Destruction fic <3

[paopaupaus]

part 10 of the Buddie Development rant and analysis

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9 | part 10

S6:E1 Let the Games Begin

Domestic dinners are now a thing between Eddie, Buck and Christopher. ughh i just saw this post where it says that Buck remaking the lasagna 4 times is: 3 times wrong and burnt for Abby, Ali and Taylor, then the perfect one for Chris and Eddie and UGHHH i love tumblr and all of our little theories. Team Lasagna Theory!!

S6:E10 In a Flash

As Buck is going to go up the fire engine ladder Eddie says “all right cowboy go get em 😏🥰🤠”

save a horse ride a…

fuck off how is Buck struck by lightning hasn’t this boy gone through enough 😭😭😭 i’m with Eddie, freaking out right there.

S6:E11 In Another Life

As Buck arrives to the emergency room Eddie switches with Chim doing compressions, and he is the one that got his pulse back, i’m-

the doctors say they’ll do their best, Eddie shouts “Do More!”

Okay i’m going to go off the racks with this one, but while he’s in a coma Buck is having this dream of how things would’ve gone if Daniel did’t die, and it’s sort of a search for himself and the reconciliation with the kid that he could have been, the family and the parents that he never had, in order to grow.

I feel like Eddie wasn’t in that dream for a reason and it’s gonna sound crazy but here we go. As Buck realizes that he is enough he runs through the hospital and comes across people trying to stop him from returning, like obstacles he has to overcome. He doesn’t come acrosss Eddie, but he does find Christopher.

Christipher says: “help i’m lost, can you help me find my dad?”

Buck “sorry you’re but you’re not real and i have to go

as he runss away he says “i know i’m going to regret That one later. “

My theory for why eddie wasn’t in the dream was

1. Buck would have probably stayed with him (dead) 😅 and

2. up until that point he hasn’t seen Eddie for what he truly is, and he has to find himself and accept who he is in order to find Eddie too

but buck couldn’t have stayed in the dream with Eddie because he hadn’t figured it out yet, he doesn’t understand yet that he is lovable and that there are people in his life that love him for who he already is, he can’t see himself clearly.

metaphor for being struck by lightning and enlightening your thoughts huhhhh

S6:E12 Recovery

I love the couch theory 😭🫶 In this episode Buck can’t sleep in his couch (the one his mom bought) at all, and when he leaves a note to Maddie saying he was going out, he actually meant going to Eddie’s house <3 as soon as he touches the couch he is 😴 out of it. Buck it feels like the only place you are safe and comfortable is your best friend’s couch. See also every one of them has their spot on the couch! 😭 Buck left > Chris middle > Eddie right.

I am SO normal about this

They are so husband coded omfg

Eddie *talking about when he was shot* “so now am i allowed to ask how you are ? 😠😠”

Okay so read this post then come back here because Eddie says to buck

“Allow yourself to feel it”

allow yourself to feel it…

S6:E13 Mixed feelings

I love that aside from Just Hanging Out Chris and Eddie are also supporting (and entertaining) the idea of Buck’s new super powers, because of the lightning strike.

i have a theory that buck knows math because in the dream he was a math teacher, he never really figured out what it is he taught but i feel like that is it.

what’s up with that poker game? omg everyone there for sure thought they were boyfriends.

“three minutes”

Eddie “THREE MINUTES ANS SEVENTEEN SECONDS”

eddie is also so normal about this hahaha he’s gone

Buck playing and Eddie watching over him looks like a mafia boss and his boy toy out for some fun

S6:E14 Perfomance Anxiety

Eddie’s tia sets him up for a date and when he’s talking to the team about it he says that dating feels like a performance. ok gay.

Hen also gives him a sideye like she knowwwss. see also i laughed at the meme like ten minutes. 😂😂

S6:E15 Death and taxes

I feel like Eddie is so pissed and catious about Buck starting to date Natalia, he tells him that’s it’s not going to work out and when Buck says that she “sees” him for who he really is Eddie looks so conflicted.

S6:E17 Love is in the air

okay so Eddie decides to take matters into his own hands so his Tia leaves him alone about dating and it is NOT a coincidence that almost every woman he sees is either gay or married to that guy that checks him out in the golf course 😭😭 i screamed out loud at that HAHHDHA Eddie is like a gay magnet i fear

Alsoo!!! Eddie in the cafeteria is dressed with a grey shirt and a black puffed vest, as is the lady with the gay guy, same outfit… any thoughts?

Buck what’s with the ring cutter?!?!! that look he gives Maddy like you really wanna know why i have it 😭😭

he a ho

Eddie subconsciously realizing that he has never dated a woman for real and that comes from his upbringing of heteronormativity and fear of divorce? i know for my part (i’m mexican) that divorce is viewed as a failure and a disgrace. i also liked that he talked to his tía Pepa and he finds out she has divorced an remarried, he looks surprised because as i said, divorce are sort of a hush hush and taboo topic in our culture. so hopefully he starts his growing journey soon.

S6:E18 Pay It Forward

I know this is not the purpose of this rant thread but i loved seeing the mirroring between the first season when there is a full moon and the women are giving starting to give birth simultaneously and Buck is close to useless and that woman has to give birth herself 😂 and now, where Kameron is starting to give birth and he is caalm, and calls 911 and knows exactly what to do and what to say, i think it was a great example of his growth 🫶

Buck doesn’t learn, he’s just gonna jump and ask Natalia to pick a couch with him 😐

i really liked this season, as always if you have anything to add feel free go in the comments or repost 😚

[audinosaur]

the seijoh boys as littlest pet shop toys!

i scoured through toysisters.com to assign different lps' to all of seijoh and by golly i had fun while doing it

iwaizumi: pet #92

cool guy

reminds me of a german shepherd and iwa is the most german shepherd ever

he seems like he'd be an overall chill guy

tug o' war champion

i'm getting "average height guy whose friends constantly call him a short king just because they're taller than him" energy from it

and that's basically the majority of seijoh w iwaizumi

dependable

oikawa: pet #818 

she’s stunning she’s gorgeous she’s everything

him being an ostrich is funny to me

also the colors suit him really well, oikawa’s entire personality is very mint-colored

stars in his eyes

they have matching little sprouts of hair! <3

honorable mention: #1751 

this is the bitch that everyone type casted as the main character/mean girl when they played with their lps’ as a kid and all the other toys are in love w her 

yk what i mean

and that just seems very oikawa tooru

hanamaki: pet #460

look in its eyes. 

very fluffy 

they have the same pink hair (fur)

the curled eyelash/eyeliner is so funky and makki is the mayor of funktown

:3 face which is just so

do we all get what i'm trying to say?

matsukawa: pet #2270 

LOOK AT THE EYEBROWS

literally everything about him is perfect 

i cant even begin to describe it

a little scruffy & shaggy, its ears remind me of mattsun's hairstyle

imagine looking into the window of a pet store and seeing this thing (+ makki's) staring up at you. would u not be amused?

he's planning something

honorable mention: #1861

he’s got sneakers on??

swagged out lizard

no need for further elaboration

watari: pet #1026 

this is the one i am the most confident about and I personally feel like it's obvious why

friend shaped

bald

i could see watari being a ferret otter thingy

similar big round eyes that bore into your soul

this just feels so correct i love them

he smile :)

kyoutani: pet #135

yellow dog

it's so pudgy kyoutani would adore it

he’s the epitome of a grumpy bulldog

they have the same eyebrows (or lack thereof)

the little frowny mouth i am crying

secretly a sweetheart (i can feel it in my bones)

honorable mention: #2472 

lmao bee

yahaba: pet #1106 

no explanation but do u see the vision?

this is how oikawa views him. puppy dog eyes and all.

it simultaneously looks like both a rule follower and a conniving little shit (aka yahaba shigeru)

imagine this thing barking ferociously at kyoutani's lps

(meanwhile watari's is just standing off to the side watching)

honorable mention: #108

they have the same swoopy hair

it made me laugh ok

look at it

kindaichi: pet #1519 

tall!

idk what dog breed this is supposed to be exactly but all the ‘seijoh as dogs’ art i’ve seen has made him look vaguely like this

pointed up ears = pointed up hair

its tail looks very waggable and kindaichi is constantly wagging his metaphorical tail when he's happy so

kindaichi's so dogboy it's unreal

looks both cowardly and strong at the same time

kunimi: pet #2204 

this one also doesn’t rlly have an explanation

but the color palette suits him i think 

the cat looks like it take some nice ass naps and kunimi is our catnapping king

cold dead eyes of judgement

slightly bitchy

ppl come up to it expecting to pet it but it actually just hisses at them (an analogy for kunimi when interacting with most people)

in conclusion: a lot of dogs. i love aoba johsai.

[surveillance-0011]

Looking at Garten of BanBan II… I actually feel kind of optimistic.

This second game feels like it does have more effort put into it- and it’s more genuine, less of a cash grab especially without the merch link right there. I’m not gonna blame the devs for charging money bc it seems they are very low budget, and I’d prefer a game costing money rather than asking you to buy overpriced merch.

There’s a somewhat scarier atmosphere and I think the direction the story is heading could prove to be interesting.

Spoiler alert:

Saw the human experimentation thing coming from a mile away. Not the most original in the mascot-based horror niche, but I’m a sucker for it and am actually kinda interested in seeing why it’s happening in this facility posing as a kindergarten, of all places. Also, BanBan as a possible good guy is very interesting. Yes, Alice and Mommy Long Legs both send you on fetch quests with ulterior motives, but BanBan seems to genuinely care about saving the kids, even if it means he’s not heroic enough to do it himself.

It’s also interesting that he’s apparently not the “major” threat- that’s Stinger Flynn, apparently. Unless BanBan is lying/tricking the MC, which is like a 50/50 chance.

The game also, surprisingly, has a sense of humor. BanBan’s note telling you he’s gonna knock you out, his sheepish apology, NabNab’s misery, and Seline (the snail) reaching the chase scene too late all actually got a chuckle out of me.

However, it’s not exactly the most riveting gameplay. The game still seems kinda slow, glitchy, and like there isn’t as much of an “active” threat. Everything is very … compartmentalized? Until the last chase scene there doesn’t seem to be an active threat chasing you down.

And the story does have some pitfalls and confusing bits. It’s frustrating to me that they are dropping gradual hints in the notes alone- at this point I wish there was more of a why and maybe even more of an admission. BanBan sees himself as human still, yes, but certainly he’s aware everyone else thinks he’s BanBan? And that he’s in a lab? But he never says “yeah they mighta turned me into something I’m not, but deep down I’m human and you can trust me”

And while I like the idea of Stinger Flynn as a major threat I’m surprised NabNab isn’t more of an opposing force. Like they’re literally an obstacle for like the construction section and they peer out as a lil secret when you finish the chase scene and turn back. For someone teased as a big thing, they seem more like a needless red herring and underwhelming extra. It’d be better if they were more present in this chapter.

The … attempt at social commentary in the classroom segment was also just weird? There’s not really a popular kid weird kid bullying hierarchy in kindergarten of all places… and the metaphor is just very bland and fake deep and whatnot. Unless it’s just BanBaleena running the school like she thinks they’re run bc she’s a human experiment with no memory/knowledge of the outside world. Or some sort of commentary on the game community? Eh, it was just weirdly cynical and I didn’t dig it.

And it’s weird that they’re already advertising game 3. It’s a chapter system and it’s bound to happen, but it makes me think they’re rushing it a little.

So it’s not perfect by any means. There’s a couple of glaring issues of disorganization and rougher edges, hell some of the worries concerning it being too “kiddy” still ring true. But it also seems to confirm the game is growing into its own unique self and is a genuine attempt at making a decent game rather than something thrown together to make some money off of children. There’s some heart. It may be small or weak, but it’s there.

I never thought I’d be rooting for the Euphoric Brothers, but I do actually hope they improve from here and actually make something some people can dig. They’re not really some insidious force like people make them out to be, just two people trying in a… pretty flawed way? They gotta work on a lot of stuff, from the game to how they have taken criticism, but they’re not goddawful, the first game was just the worst first impression ever.

And…If anything BanBan’s popularity is inspiring. It’s a good reminder that anyone can make a game- and possibly succeed in getting what they wish.

Tldr: not winning any awards any time soon, but Garten of BanBan is not a total waste. I hope the Devs listen to the criticism they’ve gotten and improve from here, too.

And I. Do like NabNab and Stinger Flynn. And BanBan. I am not immune to silly blob thing.

[saradotpsd]

An obsessive girl’s guide to books about obsession

Originally posted on Medium here.

The word obsession and its variations will appear in this piece at an annoying rate for you, I’m sorry in advance.

I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and I’m enjoying it too much to leave. It is eye opening as much as it is relatable though. Books depicting obsession have been a sort of obsession for me, I’m fascinated by these helpless characters and the situations they end up in because of their intense feelings, and it was delicious losing myself in their plots.

I’ve been looking for these books because I wanted a mirror to my OCD that makes me think “oh.. so this is what my intensity of feelings looks like”, and now that I’ve found a bunch of them, I had to compile a list of every single one I’ve read.

I tried to add as many types of obsessions in these recommendations other than romantic obsession, even though that was the one that held my curiosity the most. This list will be updated as I go through more and more books in the future, but this piece starts with the first 8 books I read, and I’m doing them in the order I read them in.

The first 8 books I read so far

An Apprenticeship or thee Book of Pleasures by Clarice Lispeector

6*

On obsessive love

In this book we follow Clarice, a woman who is trying to bridge the gap between her loneliness and the passion she. harbors for Ulisses, who takes it upon himself to guide her through that path.

This book made me develop an alter ego. It made me kill my old self and create a sexier one out of it. I didn’t plunge into this genre willingly, the interest was sparked by the character portrayal in this book, I was so amused by it that I started seeking more books with similarities to this, from the way the book made me imagine Clarice, to the intense feelings and the way they’re depicted, to the progression of these feelings towards the end, all of this had me hooked and already thinking of what I want my next read to be like (and what I want my next outfit to look like).

My Husband by Maud Ventura

4*

On obsessive & controlling love

A tale of a wife too engulfed by her love for her husband to the point where she doesn’t have more to give to her own kids. The main character loves her husband, a little too much, the cup overflows a little bit and seeps through into her sanity. She keeps notes detailing her husband’s whereabouts, she has a separate notebook where she writes down his “hurtful actions” and the punishment she would give him for each. She’s not exactly the perfect wife otherwise either, with her own shortcomings and her own mishaps, but she still attributes them all to how much she loves him. This gets good when we read the Epilogue.

I was feeling for her the entire time, I didn’t know if I should feel seen or called out because almost the entire time my main thought was “I should probably not love someone ever, because this is how much I’ll love them, to the point where my OCD will push me off the edge”. This book was the first one I read where obsession is a main theme, and it has led me to the rest of the titles in this list.

Read this if you’re interested in these themes: flawed people, detrimental relationships, obsession, unhinged characters. Most importantly read this if you’re okay with books were no one is a good guy, no morals here just obsessive vibes.

New Animal by Ella Baxter

3*

On obsessive grief

Amelia is a cosmetician, at her family’s mortuary. Amelia loses her mom. Amelia goes into a haunting metaphorical journey and a quite literal one to escape that grief. But in her mind that is her way of grieving.

This may not have been a good choice for me to read but only because BDSM is not really an area for me to look into. The book otherwise had a depth that goes beyond it’s main plot. We see parent-children relationships being dissected in a way only all of us would relate to, especially the part where Amelia needs one parent when she’s away from them but she couldn’t stand whichever one she’s around, aren’t we all a little like that?

This book also discusses grief and goes in depth in how it engulfs you within it, so a trigger warning here if you can’t handle this because it does go deep about it. It also details the escapist ways people turn to to escape their grief.

This may not exactly deal with obsession, but I wanted to add it to the list anyway because of the familial attachment aspect and how that itself can be a form of anxious obsession laying dormant in most if not all of us

Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan

6*

On obsessive love

Our main character is unnamed, perhaps on purpose. She falls into obsessive love with Cieran, the type of obsessive love where you lose yourself completely into the other person, unknowingly but willingly giving them a hold over you that you can’t escape by the time you notice it.

This is a narrative of the rejection that is breed within a person when the other is obsessed with them, and it is also a narrative of the obsession wee develop with someone when they reject us. It is a big mess of overflowing emotions and how nothing that intense is ever gratified. It encapsulates the disappointing reality of obsession.

My best recommendation on this entire list. I wish I started with it and I wish I ended with it, but it happened to be a little in the middle, fueling me to search for more books that will hopefully match up to the quality and realistic portrayal of obsession this one has. No other book has done it so far, except thee first book maybe.

I’ve seen some contradicting opinions about the ending though, and without any spoilers, I think it was rather realistic and was merely hated because of how it was out of character for those who relate to our unnamed character’s behavior through out the rest of the book.

Wilful Disregard by Lena Andersson

2*

On obsessive love

If I’m being honest, this one blended in with others in my mind and I had to go back and remember the plot.

Our main character, Ester, is a rational woman with a steady career and a steady relationship, or so she thought, until she experienced what the depths of love feel like after she wrote a piece on Hugo Rask.

Would you rather be in an all encapsulating obsessive love with all of its falls, or in a healthy boring relationship devoid of any feelings? This is my most memorable part about reading in this book and it wasn’t really the focus of it. But I think of this often and of whether or not a combination of both is ever attainable. For someone with OOCD or any personality disorder, they mess up the way we feel, display, or even. receive love. And so we wonder if there is ever a happy ending to our undying devotion and borderline unhealthy way of feeling love. It takes over us to the point where good feelings mesh with guilt and shame and a feeling of doom, that it will never be satisfied, and has it ever? Or have we simply gotten bored and moved on to the next obsession because without it, love doesn’t feel real, its not love if it doesn’t completely drown us?

My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

5*

On predatory obsessions

In this book we follow Vanessa’s journey, alternating between the past and the present, slowly unraveling to us what happened to her when she was fifteen, her story is uncovered to us simultaneously as she slowly starts to realize the abuse and grooming that she has gone. through. We know it from the start but she doesn’t, she finishes the book along with us although her realization comes later than ours.

There is obsessive love, and then there is predatory obsession (for lack of a better term), and while the latter is in no way related to the types of obsession a normal person would have, but I think it is important to read this book.

Lolita has grown up and is experiencing the realization of what had really happened to her. And it is a tale all too familiar with too many women, even if we were to disregard any age restrictions from it. Too many women have experienced something, that no matter how obviously traumatizing it was, they were still never sure if it was really a bad experience or just a normal thing that happens to all women at some point. Until the day comes when they can’t deny it anymore.

Vanessa does not fit the checklist of what the perfect victim should be like in order to gain the support of the people and to be believed. Vanessa is human. That aspect of this narrative and specifically the flaws of Vanessa are the most important part of the book to me, and what makes it an. necessary read especially for those who don’t believe women. Those who scramble to find a flaw so they can finally find a reason to hate a woman, to unleash all their loathing and have a “reason” for it.

Cursed Bread by Sophie Mackintosh

3*

On obsessive fantasies

You will never guess what is the historic event that served as a launchpad to this novel. But the book has nothing to do with it really, it is just a spin on one possible storyline happening within that event.

Elodie is a baker’s wife who feels so unloved by her husband that when. she is introduced to a new couple, she develops an obsession with the both of them. Does she want to be with them? does she want to embody them? perhaps both. We follow her as she peers into their life, slowly seeping into their daily activities and the way with which their obsession with each other is displayed. She. has no clue how they portray her though, not even when she thinks she does.

I’m trying to have have opinions on this book but I cannot come up with a single one, it was simply an enjoyable read especially because of how peculiar its base story is.

I’m a Fan by Sheena Patel

4*

On an obsession with a parasocial relationship

I’m giving this 4 stars overall because of the themes discussed in this book, ranging from racism to classicism and much more. But I’d give the obsession part 2.5 stars if I’m being real.

The characters in this novel are unnamed, our main character is obsessed with “the man she wants to be with”, who in turn is obsessed with “the woman she’s obsessed with” despite being in a healthy relationship with “her boyfriend” who loves her dearly. She is pushed to the limit because of her obsession. She has a complete disregard to the people in her life and her life’s focus and purpose is to be with the man she wants to be with, as is thee case with most obsessive feelings.

Just like most obsessive feelings, we see glimpses of the unsatisfied craving all over the novel despite the main character being completely oblivious with them, another realistic portrayal of the futility of obsession. You are completely enamored with something or someone, but there’s no happiness when you finally get it. You might obsess over more and more and more. Or you might move on to another obsession that proves this feeling is only folded over itself and is never about the person or thing you direct it to. Or worse, you might get disappointed and plunged into the emptiness of the mundane. What did we think the happy ending of obsession would be anyway?

I inhaled these books all back to back so fast that the more mediocre ones of them became kind of a blur at this point and I had to go back and remind myself of what they were about, so I hope my reviews were not lacking because of this. But some of them were so good they still take a seat at the front of my mind and I compare every similar book to them.

I hope they spark your interest and I’d love to discuss them with you.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading ❤

[wibble-wobbegong]

Why do you think Mike kissed El and acted like everything was normal if he accepted he was gay already? (/gen, I haven’t seen an analyses on this)

oh i LOVE talking about this, i can’t believe i haven’t done a proper analysis on it before. this is still gonna be informal but! whatever

okay, so, with the understanding that mike has accepted that he’s gay, we have to consider his current situation. let’s take it back to the ending of S3.

when i believe mike accepted that he’s gay and in love with will, something he can’t change, is that month he spent isolating himself and playing games in his basement which is something he clearly associates with his feelings for will, hence the adamancy that it’s wrong for kids their age to do in S3. that they need to grow up and move on. he represses these things he enjoys during his first time around with el, clearly trying to force himself to not want or need them anymore. by isolating himself and doing the very things he wished to push away and was directly addressed as an example of both mike and will’s feelings for each other, we see him facing these feelings he has head on. by joining hellfire, we see a metaphor for acceptance

the ending of S3 comes after he joins hellfire, what would be around 2 months later. that’s not a lot of time to process this part of himself and be okay with it, though he was making progress. but then el swoops back in, kisses him and tells him she loves him, essentially forcing him back into that relationship. there was no way for him to back out without either hurting el or outing himself because he was making declarations of love himself (unintentionally) 3 months earlier. he’d either have to have fallen out of love with el, which would ultimately make her feel like she’d done something wrong, or never have been attracted to her at all. just because he’s started to accept himself does not mean he was ready to be out to anyone by any means. very few queer people jump from self acceptance to coming out that quickly, especially a small town boy in the 80’s.

so, with el, he’s forced into that relationship. that doesn’t mean he goes back into repressing himself, though. he still puts up posters of half naked men and openly ogles eddie. he goes back to being a nerd and a freak rather than trying to be normal, like he was in S3. that drastic change in behavior regarding dnd is representative of mike’s feelings, much in the same way it is for will.

the reason mike decides to try and be normal with el is because he feels like he doesn’t have a choice; it’s either coming out or hurting el in his eyes. even with their strained relationship, mike has never wanted anything more than to be there for el and try and make her happy. he’s doing his best while battling his own internal conflicts.

we see a pretty good visual example of the fact that mike is hiding in their reunion hug, in which we can see el’s face clear as day;

and we get absolutely nothing from mike;

it’s an intentional shot, but mike’s actions contribute to this with the hat and glasses. mike is making an effort to hide himself from her. he wants to be the perfect boyfriend for her, but to do so he is hiding.

another thing that supports that mike has accepted himself and his feelings is the way he acts around will as soon as he’s accepted el’s letter in which she admits she doesn’t love him (at least not anymore, if she ever did at all). almost immediately he jumps into flirting and openly admitting that nothing is the same without will despite the previous two days indicating anything but that. he stops hiding and starts chasing after will

and now i could get into how mike has had rightful suspicion about his feelings being reciprocated since the rain fight, but that’s for another post

hope this explains it!!

[wagner-fell]

Headcanons for Beatrix and Grey because I just wrote their first meeting and I’m screaming about them rn:

1. Beatrix is one of three people who calls Grey by his actual first name, Garrett, though she only does so in private. Grey is obsessed with the way she says his name, like it actually means something instead of just being some name on a piece of paper

2. Grey didn’t actually figure out that Beatrix and Benedict were siblings but feels like an idiot when he finds out because THEY LITERALLY HAVE THE SAME EYES AND HE NEVER NOTICED. He honestly thought Benedict and Beatrix hooked up or something because of the tension between them when they first interacted

3. Typically they just call each other “Bea” and “Garrett”, but when they’re alone? It’s almost sickeningly sweet. A lot of loves, babes, honeys. It’s honestly gross at times. Don’t even get me started on their actual pet names for each other, I’ll never shut up then

4. I mentioned that Beatrix sees black cats as lucky, rather than unlucky, right? And guess what, Grey has a little black cat named Cleocatra, aka Cleo (she was named by his younger sister) and Beatrix loves her sm

5. Beatrix and Grey’s powers balance each other out. Beatrix controls shadows and he controls fire. So while Benedict’s control of light completely cancels out Beatrix, Grey’s is like a bright spot in a sea of darkness

6. Grey and Beatrix sometimes go on long walks around town and campus with Beatrix’s dog, Daybreak. It’s actually really cute. They’ll be walking at a leisurely pace, Beatrix holding on to Grey’s arm, while Grey is holding Daybreak’s leash and the two of them are just talking

7. Grey doesn’t trust Kells as far as he can throw him but he would never let Beatrix know that. He personally takes more issue with his parenting methods rather than his whole evil thing. He did try to trust him and see what Beatrix saw, but all Grey saw was a terrible parent who loves his kids but loves power more, so he always keeps an eye out for him

8. Benedict didn’t initially approve of Grey’s relationship with Beatrix, partly because he didn’t know what kind of game his sister was playing and didn’t want his best friend caught up in it, but also partly because he’s fiercely protective of Beatrix and doesn’t want Grey to hurt her

9. Grey is mainly upset that Beatrix didn’t tell him about anything that was happening to her or what her plans were. It hurt him deeply and later he lets her know that because we stan healthy communication in this household. He just wishes she trusted him enough to let him be her partner in crime and to be honest with him instead of lying

10. Beatrix describes Grey as being her anchor, keeping her steady when she’s freaking out or when things get too stressful. He keeps her from drowning and she gets so used to that feeling that it’s hard to adjust when they’re broken up and separated by a war and thousands of miles between them (both physically and metaphorically)

11. When they break up, Beatrix cuts off her long hair because he always loved her hair. While Grey, does the opposite, and grows out his hair because he couldn’t be bothered to cut it

12. Grey inevitably joins Beatrix and Kells’ side when it comes down to it. He doesn’t necessarily believe in what Kells does or what he stands for, but he thinks it the only way he can be with Beatrix. And he can protect her better from beside her, rather than watch from the other side and not be able to do anything

13. Beatrix is the first person that Grey has ever truly loved

This is a lot longer then I planned it to be-

Okay so many thoughts

5 is just so perfect I could scream, I am literally in love with the way you phrased that

THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY BREAK UP

THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN “BEATRIX AND KELLS” SIDE KELLS IS DEAD RILEY?!?!????