#it does exist tho but never posted something on it

[xumoonhao]

(a few bonus shows that i love just as much but didnt make the cut since i could only choose 9: the end of the world, with you; tsuritama; yuri!!! on ice; original sin; solomons perjury.)

the wonderful @lovenee tagged me to post 9 of my favourite shows!!! thank you soooooo much for the tag omg, im sorry it took so long ||orz like i saved the pictures so long ago and then simply . forgot..... but!!! this was a lot of fun to do!!! i really dont watch a lot of shows tbh but picking my favs was easy bc the ones i watch i tend to love bc i truly do have So much love to give. if i enjoy something slightly it becomes a fav. im really so easy to please <3

i will tag @hoshogie, @grlfriends, @chanonara, @earlymay, @jeonghanurl, @deshimango, @faguts, & @grenocket to do this as well!!! no pressure, ofc ofc (p≧w≦q)

[confused-lover]

All The Hugs

Character x reader / Platonic!Ortho x reader Summary: How the characters would hug you Warnings: None (that I can think) (english is not my first language)

Riddle Rosehearts: Oh man, he would be so awkward, like, if you are not in an already established relationship he couldn't even hug you. He'd let you hug him but would be stiff as a board.

Ace Trappola: Would totally yank you in and squeeze you so hard but it'll last a maximum of 5 seconds. If you want it to last more you gotta stay wrapped around him, he’ll give in. Hopefully.

Deuce Spade: He’d wrap his arms around your shoulders but he won't press his body to yours, my boy is too respectful. If you don’t care about “decency” and hug him properly he’ll blush like no one’s business. 

Cater Diamond: I totally see him hugging your waist and swaying just a bit. If he's feeling cheeky he’d snap a photo so quick you wouldn't even notice until you see it posted on Magicam an hour later.

Trey Clover: He’d be so normal about it. Just a normal hug. Thanks the seven for the one sane dude here.

Leona Kingscholar: No hug. You either snuggle in bed or you give up. But those cuddles, man are they good, you two stay like that for a minimum of 2 hours. The maximum does not exist. If you don’t get out of there yourself, you’ll never leave.

Jack Howl: Also a normal hug, he just wraps his arms around you and stays like that for a time, I see him probably taking in your scent but that’s about it. Please don’t mention the helicopter that is his tail. Please. 

Ruggie Bucchi: You hug him and he pickpockets you, that's it, nothing else to say. Sorry.

Azul Ashengrotto: Just from the hug you know a business proposal is coming. I don't know how he does it but he hugs so professionally. If he’s feeling very romantic tho it’ll all be really slow. He’d remove his glasses and nearly hang limp in your arms.

Jade Leech: His hugs also have very business vibes from him but he’d also slowly caress your back, his fingertips softly touching your spine sending you shivers. He knows what he’s doing, don’t let his smile deceive you, he's nothing but a little shit.

Floyd Leech: you know how his hugs are … you don’t need me to tell you…

Kalim Al-Asim: Warm and fuzzy, like hugging the sun itself. I don't even know how his face doesn't hurt with all the smiling he does. He’d 100% make little jumps when and after he hugs you. If extremely happy he’d probably squeal or something. He’s cute like that.

Jamil Viper: The moment you hug him you can both see and feel his body relax, he'd let out a breath and hug you tightly. Bring you closer to his chest. Best believe this in the only moment of peace he’ll have all day, just let him enjoy it.

Vil Schoenheit: You can feel his neck straining to not touch you, god forbid he ruins his make-up. That’ll make you think that he feels like hugging you is a chore or that he doesn’t like it, don't believe that, he loves it. Just wait until it’s the end of the day and all his make-up is gone, once you get in bed you’ll be able to lay your head on his chest and cuddle all night

Еpel Felmier: If you're shorter or taller doesn’t matter, he will wrap his arms around your shoulders and hug you as strongly as he can. Will think it’s manly. Please go along with it or he’ll have a crisis once alone in his dorm room.

Rook Hunk: It's happening when you least expect it. You think you're alone, then boom, you get hugged. He’ll stay there as long as you permit it and will spew poetics non-stop. If you are not one to hug people then he'll absolutely brag about it to everyone and their mother.

Idia Shroud: He won't ever initiate, so it's on you this time around. Whatever type of hug it is, long or short, tight or loose, you won’t be seeing him for at least a month after that, he’ll just be hiding until the end of time ( until you and his brother give him no choice and drag him out of his room).

Ortho Shroud: Will hug you, be so happy about it, and then immediately run to his brother to tell him how good it was and list all the mental and physical benefits of hugs. He just wants to help his brother. Cut him some slack.

Malleus Draconia: He sees a hug as a very intimate affair. If you wait for him to hug you then you better be prepared to wait at least 5 months. If you beat him to it he’ll blush. It's gonna be brief and not exactly satisfactory but be prepared to see a ring very soon. Also, he’ll brag. Loudly.

Lilia Vanrouge: Hug attack. It’s a strong embrace if short. Also will shamelessly laugh at your face afterwards.

Silver: More than a hug, it’s a cuddle, his sleeping is quite infectious and you’ll fall right asleep. One of the best naps of your life.

Sebek Zigvolt: He sees you go in for a hug, sidesteps you, yells about how improper all of it is, and then a second later hugs you anyway. Other than a broken eardrum the hug is unimpressive, not exactly something to write home about. Maybe write to his home, for the medical bills, for your ears.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Context

@silken-moons

Yes!! Okay so short discussion post.

like I always felt like yan! Dick is like completely scared or rather doesn't know to be authentic. It's no lie that he takes the place of dad for practically every kid over Bruce since Jason came along. He feels the pressure of being this super smiley guy all of the time. It's exhausting. He cannot have a bad day.

Most of his temperament comes from the stress of taking on the family. He's constantly expected to neglect his personal relationships, careers and hobbies all for the sake of his siblings. He doesn't mind because he loves them to the bone but he has so much resentment about his entire life and unresolved traumas that it's just sitting there.…

No one else sees this. Or maybe they do but they choose to ignore it. But you immediately noticed there was something disingenuous about him...it really irked him. He tried so hard to keep things like that hidden and he hates that was the first impression his new sis got of him. He knows that you cannot unsee it and everything might crumble because of it.

He doesn't want you telling the others about what you see in him and they then don't depend on him anymore out of worry. His entire existence revolves around them and he's just as yandere over them as he is with you.

Also yeah I do agree with the Jason thing. I think most people would gravitate to him because Jason knows what it’s like to be an outsider coming into this family.

Dick is so jealous over you and Jason's relationship tho. He cannot understand how you could feel safer with Jay over him when his younger brother has arguably more seething rage than he does.

Jason isn't always the nicest to you, and even has said hurtful things yet you still cling to him? Why is even being in the same room with Dick so nerve-wrecking for you?

Jason is also just as confused about this and asks you one day. To him, Dick is a good boy that would never harm you. If you think his big brother is bad, then he’s worse.

But what Jason failed to realize is that he’s extremely honest…even to a fault. Which is good. You know when to stay away from from him and when you’re in danger. Dick hides it so well that if you blink you might miss the crack.

"I dunno, Jay. You're just easier to read. If you're angry with me, you'll just flat out tell me. It's more terrifying to interact with someone that you have no idea what is going through their head. He rubs me the wrong way."

Jason accepts your answer and the conversation is done. Maybe Dick overheard it or maybe Jason relays it back to his brother in hopes to be helpful but it really gets to Dick.

You're not entirely wrong but he also doesn't really know how to go forward? If he suddenly stops being the happy-lucky Richard that everyone loves, his other siblings won't like him anymore...but if he acts more authentic...you might even hate that version even more. Damned if he does. Damned if he doesn't.

The best option is to just continue forcing you into submission like he did in the other post. You'll get worn down and eventually accept him as the rest do. He just knows it.

[dokidokidraft]

MHA boys HC

Hello lovelies! This is my first post, I hope you enjoy! includes: Izuku Midoriya, Katsuki Bakugo, Shoto todoroki

(more next time)

Does include swearing ;-; (because it’s Katsuki)

~Izuku Midoriya~

-ANYTHING will get this man flustered. Even if you wave at him, his face is already red, and as soon as you talk to him, he’s a stuttering mess

-he eventually warms up to you though. He’ll still get flustered but he will at least be able to speak now

-play with his hair. Please.

-hold on to his arm instead of his hand. He loves it

-he’s really sensitive, so try not to be too mean (^_^)

-if you kiss his freckles (or anywhere on his face, just especially freckles) he will blush like crazy (obvi) and the immediately pull you in for a hug. Now you won’t be able to go anywhere until he gives you all the love in the world

-style his hair. Those curls just need to be taken care of T~T

-def doesn’t do enough self care. Just help him out for me, alright? I’m talking face masks, top coat for his nails (PLZ- this man’s hands 😣), skincare, R+R

-speaking of R+R, his favourite way to relax is Netflix and chill, with his head in your lap and you playing with his hair (never going to stop with his hair I js love it sm)

-will literally throw himself out of the car just to open the door for you. Probably has hurt himself a few times from this

-super insecure about his scars!!! Poor baby. The first time you traced his scars, he cried.

-his hands are so rough! (In a good way obvi) like, they feel like sandpaper most of the time, and he’s really insecure about those too >_< -probably has written so much about your quirk that it takes up a whole notebook! You’re just so much more interesting to him than anyone else. Also has other notebooks filled with the things you like/dislike. Literally anything you told him about yourself is written down somewhere

-his laugh is the most heavenly thing. It’s so sweet and genuine. Same with his smile :)

~Katsuki Bakugo~

-this man is so angry all the time, but if you get close enough to him (takes a long time plz be patient) he has such a soft spot for you!!!

-literally the best cook in existence

-being together for dinner with him looks like him teaching you a new recipe, and you guys cooking together. Still yells a lot at you tho (we love him for it)

-hugs from behind ✨ (iykyk)

-brags about you to the bakusquad all the time. “did you see y/n on the battle field!?!? She totally smoked your ass dunceface!”

-swears a lot while talking to you about his day. “And then the fucking lady decided to steal that guys shitty bag! It wasn’t even a nice bag, it looked like it came out of the motherfucking apocalypse!”

-shows his love through actions. Words are hard for him (see the one above)

-makes fun of you all the time

-if he’s about to yell and he knows you’re sensitive, he’ll cover your ears before he yells (this one isn’t my hc, just something I’ve seen a lot)

-he’s a bit of a brat. He just likes seeing you pissed off. Thinks it’s adorable

-very affectionate when you’re alone. Other than that, PDA isn’t very good…maybe he’ll hold your hand or wrap is his arm around your waist so people know to back off, but he gets embarrassed easily.

-shows off around you so much. As soon as you show up to one of his arena fights (different headcanon, might elaborate later) he immediately wins.. you just give him the right motivation with you watching

-he hates when you play with his hair, but he LOVES to touch yours. If it’s long enough, he’ll braid it. Or if it’s not he’ll give you little scalp massages 😮‍💨

-bullies your bullies. He knows you can handle yourself, but you gotta use your scary boyfriend privileges sometime

~Shoto todoroki~

-if you’re too cold or too hot, he’ll use his quirk to help with that.

-also, it’s canon that he’s usually very cold himself, but can’t regulate his fire well enough to be a good temperature so he deals with it. So cuddles are a must to keep him warm

-he’s so insecure about it his scar, he thinks it makes him ugly and unlovable (canon) so he needs constant reassurance

-poor bae gets night terrors

-takes you to all the new restaurants in town. You guys have been every single one at least once

-make homemade (cold) soba for him or else *_*

-not that it matters to him, but Endeavor does not approve of him dating, so be prepared for arguments. You guys will win in the end though

-so sassy. Loves to back talk

-walks together late at night 😌💅

-not very talkative, he’d rather listen to you ramble. Literally the opposite of izuku in that way

-takes all your jokes way too seriously. You have to explain everything, but after that he’ll laugh with you about it

-SO oblivious. If you gave him a confession note, he’ll ask if you wanted him to proofread it. Or if you said it to his face, he’d be frozen and then ask “that sounds good, is it a line for a play? I didn’t know you did theatre…”

-rich as hell, takes you shopping and you’re not allowed to pay for anything. Treats you with endeavors credit card 👌

-literally best fashion sense. I’m talking flannels, baggy sweaters with cuffed sleeves, those cargo shorts that have the massive pockets.

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys liked them (>~<)

[whosmarii]

Nsfw headcanons about mcu Peter Parker.

He loooves make out sessions, I believe he could have you sitting on his lap while kissing for hours without getting bored o needy of something more.

Other thing is that Peter found out how much he loves to touch your body in one of your make out sessions. He never notice how his hands run through all your body, caressing every single space of your skin. Your arms, hands, fingers, legs, feets, face, neck,etc. He loves to feel your muscles moving, your bones being there, your hot breath and the moving of your body to accompany that breath, the texture of your skin in his hands, he loves to feel that same skin getting hotter or colder with or without his touch, he loves to feel you there, to feel you real, alive and with him.

Peter also loves to watch you, the physical attraction he has for you is too much to handle for him. All the things he likes to feel, he likes to watch too. When you two are more comfortable around each other (cause let's remember that he is very awkward and shy) he would tell you that he wants to see you touching yourself, and not like masturbating. He wants to see you touch your body like he does, so everything he feels with his hands he can see with his eyes.

Maybe this is a little creepy but, like I kinda implied before, he...maybeee...has some type of kink with you being like...alive? or real. LET ME EXPLAIN. Peter loves to see you, feel you, taste you, he just loves to have every one of his senses in you and to have every one of yours senses in him, and when that happens he can't help the arousal that runs in his body by the thought of your existence, and specially the thought of your being, being there with him, in his bed. To know that such a real and alive beautiful woman is there by his side. (Peter Parker is a hopeless romantic in every universe, it's in his nature to be extremely aware of you and to have such dramatic thought about your breathing lol).

For the end, a little though I have. Peter has a very very high sex drive but he doesn't have time to fullfil it tho. Probably that's the reason why it is so high, I mean teenager Peter had his hormones at it's highest and didn't have time to yk, experience that type of things. And more grown up Peter still is very young and with a whole adolescent life of no sex. So, yeah, I believe he is really needy of sexual relive.

Okkk, that's all guys.

This is my first post so tell what things should I correct and give me ideas for the next post, tell me what and who would y'all like me to write about.

And, I'm not very used to Tumblr, so if you have ideas on how to make my post more aesthetically pleasing please feel free to tell me!

pd: English is not my native language, so maybe some things are not write correctly, please let me know that.

💕💕

[dalliancekay]

I'm just gonna write out what I think cos if someone sends me this again for the 113th time, I'm gonna snap. Look. Interviews (months!) before a premiere of something are tricky. You gotta be careful and VAGUE with what you say and what you want people to expect. Mostly creators focus on the themes in the first, maybe second episodes or so, trying not to give away much. Just the bare bones, what is already expected anyway. After all, they want you to watch it and go: "Ahhhh...." It was the same in S2 as well. (David describing in interviews how unmoored Crowley was in S2, how kind of disappointed etc and Michael how Az is also a bit disconcerted by not having a job, something big to belong to). But that's a description of - how we find the Ineffables in ep1, rather than describing the whole of Season 2 or their entire mindset. And there was a book first before the series and you must admit Aziraphale and Crowley are a bit different in the series than they are in the book. So caution was needed. PLUS their story has evolved again. It doesn't now end in the Ritz (I know it never really did for Neil and Terry who clearly wanted them to deal with the whole system somehow). The husbands have more trouble ahead. More details were added. We got more of their story, their journeys. Crowley doesn't change and is just waiting for Aziraphale to catch up with him - it's not much of a story, don't you think? Aziraphale is a naïve goody two shoes angel who has to realise Heaven is bad - is just so simple it's laughable.

And I'm sorry but Aziraphale has not lived a guarded life. He has lived a life of fear and anxiety with bosses who underestimate, belittle and laugh at him and think he's soft and rather pointless. Does anyone know what the question was that's answered?

Yeah, Aziraphale changes in S1 but they both do. Crowley throws out - we should do something. This whole Armageddon thing, I don't like it. He is so much a questioner of everything, isn't he. Why does it have to be this way. Makes no sense, what if... And generally, he doesn't have much to lose. If Hell wins, well, he knows what it's like. If Heaven wins, well, it'd be marginally better? Just about? If he survives to see it? Still sucks balls tho. So yes, David is right that Crowley NEEDS Aziraphale to see things his way and quickly. Cos EARTH.

Aziraphale knows the Earth came with a manual and an expiry date. He even told this so Angel!Crowley aeons ago.

So Aziraphale's journey (is not stopping believing Heaven is good and truth and light) is believing that he has choices. That he can change things. That the Plan might be Ineffable but it doesn't have to follow what he was told it must follow.

Crowley says, look, let's try, what do we have to lose. You like Earth as much as I do. And he gets Aziraphale to agree, they hatch a plan.

We watch Crowley come to love and trust Aziraphale through the ages after all he has been through. We watch Aziraphale to guard their little existence and carefully push at boundaries of what he thinks he can get away with. He wonders at what things are really like. What do they mean.

Their journey, is towards each other.

I don't know how they will smash the System before they fall into a tight embrace and never let go, but I know they will. Even if they have no idea yet that that is even possible. How could they.

And if I see one more post about how Aziraphale was backsliding and choosing his ‘faith’ over Crowley in the Final 15, I will set the internet on fire.

I can never decide if Heaven and Hell are more like mafia or like a dictatorship. Maybe a mix of both. Just cos they couldn't be killed, they were left alone for a bit. Didn't last long though, did it. They needed to be separated so they don't stop another go at destroying the little Universe project God started. I guess the Archangels are quite fed up with it.

Remember. Aziraphale and Crowley have nowhere to go. They never had. The best they could do was keep their little places on Earth. For themselves. For each other. Until they couldn't.

If you thought Aziraphale won't take the chance to have a tiny glimmer of an opportunity to destroy the fucking system in whatever way he can come up with (instead of what, being downmoted, having his memory erased too?), than you don't get him at all. Did he want to stay? You heard him say it. Was he allowed to? (No, really Metatron, nice chat but do fuck off for real now, I have a date with my demon). If you think Metatron wouldn't be back with a punishment for helping Gabriel than I don't know what to tell you.

Remember this?

And then they threatened the demon he loves.

ALSO Why do people keep bringing this back to justify their vague (or not so vague) dislike of Az (but, but Neil said "I think Aziraphale needs to learn") cos they think Az betrayed Crowley by leaving or something. The angel is just so stubborn. And he just won't listen to Crowley... right? /s You can see Aziraphale's struggles - he is a part of something he disagrees with and has no way out (Hell is not a way out btw) and tries to live in his existence in the little bubble with Crowley while being extremely careful not to have it burst. Until it inevitably does. Just as he always knew it would. But okay, if you want to have Good Omens be about a demon who figured everything out and is now waiting for his fluffy little angel to catch up and apologise to him (a million times) for being stupid so they can finally ride into the sunset, have at it. TL;DR - Heaven is good and Heaven should/could be good are two different things - Aziraphale is not an idiot; whether he still believes God is good/neutral/whatever and just the management bad or not is up in the air, we can't know unless we ask him, but it's definitely not so simple as - he needs to see it's bad, like Crowley did, end of story - The Ineffables HAVE NOWHERE TO GO. There isn't a secret third option where they can leave for and be happy if only Aziraphale opened his eyes - it's what the story is about - Crowley left Heaven for an even worse place. It would make zero sense for Aziraphale to follow his journey. Crowley is not free and doesn't have all the answers - I bet it has never occurred to either of them the whole System can be ever changed (we don't even know if it can be. The System is bigger than the UNIVERSE) - But I think that's what they'll do in S3

[yourheart-inmyhands]

YOU HAVE A CAT?! ME TOO?!

She hates me tho :(

---------

Zhongli, Neuvillette and Dottore

With a fox!darling that is always with animals and isn't social at all due to heavy torture in her past and they discover it? 💀

Man I'm in need of some gore rn 💀💀

- Weird anon ✨

i'm so sorry but i just couldn't write neuvillette for this prompt, he's too precious DX

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including being held against will, delusional behaviors, torture, breaking of bones, and other potential topics. Please Read At Your Own Risk!

Yandere!Zhongli sympathizes with you, and since it’s clear that the animals bring you comfort, he allows you to keep a couple when he moves you in with him. He even goes the extra mile and builds a special enclosure so they’ll be just as content as you are, even if you aren’t receptive to his love yet. 

When he finds out about your past, which is inevitable with how overbearing he can be and how good he is at finding out things from the locals, it almost hurts his heart a little. But the more sickening side of him is thrilled because now he knows exactly how to get to you, exactly how to make you his perfect little spouse.

Whether it’s be reintroducing trauma through breaking bones, locking you in a cold, damp room with no lights for hours on end, or even things that border on torture, he’ll use it against you so long as it won’t entirely ruin you. While he wants you compliant to his whims and wishes, he doesn’t want you to be a shell, it would’ve been a waste of his time to break you to that point;

Zhongli would never stop as low as hurting your animal friends, but if need be he could certainly find ways to turn them against you. It’s almost amusing to him, the way you care so much for creatures who you’ll outlive. How you care so much for creatures who don’t even really know you, funny.

The sickening crunch of bone echoes through the room as Zhongli stands over you, the heel of his shoe digging into the freshly crushed bones in your leg. The makeshift gag, a towel from the kitchen, dug into the sides of your mouth as it muffled your screams and cries. The Geo Archon almost feels bad for using his strength in such a brutal manner, but it would all be worth it, at least that was how he justified it to himself. It wasn’t about the now, but rather what now would soon be bringing him. By breaking you down bit by bit, sending you spiraling back into some of the worst moments of your life, he could slowly rebuild your shattered pieces how he saw fit. What use was a puzzle if the pieces weren’t in the correct order, right?

Yandere!Dottore is sick, sick, twisted, and absolutely disgusting. If he wasn’t the cause of your original trauma, you could surely bet he’d be the driving force behind re-traumatizing you. 

Whether he chooses to reenact every step, or to simply do something far worse than what had previously done it all dependent on how he feels that day. Some days will be so similar to your past that you’ll truly feel like you were back there, all those years ago. Other days are so awful it almost makes what happened in your past seem insignificant as if that were a stone among boulders resting on the ocean floor. 

Dottore does think it’s funny though, using it as both amusement and research opportunities. It wasn’t often that animals such as yourself came across his table, so of course he’d taken the prime subject as soon as he’d laid eyes on you.

In his lab, you aren’t seen as anything but a thing that exists only for Dottore’s own gain. If you’re lucky one of his more sympathetic clones might take pity on you and actually give you a day to rest when he’s out of the Palace, but they’re expected to keep up the same treatment he inflicts in his absence.

It was almost sickening to the segments as the watched the fox-human endure soul shaking torture day in and day out. Everything from injections to straight up live surgery to see how much pain the body could take whilst awake had occurred on the cold, steel table. They were often left to clean up the mess, expected to stitch you up, administer antidotes to anything too harmful that had been administered today, and even sometimes bathe you due to the mess that had occurred. You’d been fed little since you arrived, given water only when necessary for your survival, and hadn’t seen sunlight in days- or months maybe? With the sickening way time seemed to pass, you couldn’t tell how long you’d been here. Your only reprieve would be when the doctor left for something more pressing, leaving you in the care of his segments that only sometimes took pity on you. Some seemed to hold a little more humanity than others.

[you-call-it-a-dude]

Just Can't Hack It Pt.2

Pt.1

Request: so this is part two to a story. The original request was reader dealing with substance use. I had a few folks wanting another part and I was feeling inspired to add a second part so I did!

Pairings: Leighton Murray x female reader

Warnings: TW!!! I would say this one is more triggering than the first. Mentions of opioid use, accidental overdose, use of narcan/naloxone, difficult discussions around the topic of addiction, needles. This is a super heavy story. Read with caution, take a step back if it's not for you. I have many other stories you can check out if you want something more light hearted. Nobody dies, but it's a pretty realistic scenario about addiction/loving someone with addiction. Could be triggering in many ways, so please be aware.

Authors Note: here I go again adding more chapters to stories I've been saying imma leave as one shots lol. This story is super depressing, I'm so sorry. If you're into that tho, welcome lol. I apologize for my lack of posting. Ive had a lot of life changes happen recently and my mental health hasn't been the greatest (maybe writing this depressing ass chapter will help). I do want to clarify, I am not a drug user. Just a social worker that reads, does research lol. Thank you all for your patience, thank you so everyone that's read my other work while waiting for me to post again. I love you all. I love you for reading, for sharing opinions and engaging in discussions with me and I love you for existing. I hope you like this next chapter

**if you have any questions regarding Narcan/Naloxone, fentanyl test strips, or anything like that, feel free to reach out**

----

You woke up with a loud gasp, some random girl rubbing circles on your sternum. You rushed to sit forward, accidentally shoving her back.

The air was flowing back into your lungs and you felt like you couldn't get it in there quick enough. Your teeth were chattering and you were in that same fucking basement DJ died in.

You grab her wrist with shaky hands and she talked to you calmly, asking you if you were okay and all you could do was shake your head no. Your chest was heaving and it felt like you were inhaling razor blades or something.

What the fuck?

"Sit up slow." She tells you, helping you sit up and you notice her hands are also shaking. "You should probably go to the emergency room." She tells you and you're confused because you don't know why.

"Did something happen?" You ask, your throat dry. You cough to clear it and when you reach forward to grab a cup of whatever off the table, you see an oddly shaped object discarded on the table. You pick it up, your hands still shaking and you run your thumb over the pink 'Narcan' written on the label "Fuck." You whisper to yourself. "Fuck, did...?" You turn your attention to her and she kind of just shrugs.

"I'm not sure honestly. Maybe? But I didn't think it could hurt. You didn't look great, like at all."

You continue to stare down at the small nasal spray, your hands still shaking like never before. You blinked hard a few times, trying to wrap your head around everything.

"I'm so sorry." You apologized to this stranger for most likely traumatizing the fuck out of her.

"Do you have someone to call? You probably need to go to the emergency room." She ignored your apology and something about that made you feel like shit.

"Emergency room? What? That stuff worked. I'm fine." You say, tossing the bottle back onto the table.

"Yeah, but it wears off in like thirty minutes, more or less." She points out.

"Wears off?!" You ask in shock and she nods at you, looking at you like you were stupid.

"And I'm not using my other one on you so I suggest you go." She said with a slight attitude, no longer giving off that friendly vibe she had before. "And maybe get your own for next time, yeah?"

"Fine, Jesus." You say, no longer feeling as indebted to her the more bitchy she got toward you.

You take a few moments to gather yourself, still feeling not the greatest. The girl next to you that potentially saved your life was now injecting something between her toes and if that wasn't enough motivation to get the fuck up and go, you don't know what is.

You grab your things and thank her again. Unsurprisingly, she doesn't say anything back.

Your legs feel weak and shaky. Getting up the stairs and out of the house took way more effort than it should've. You hated this fucking place and you felt disgusting for even coming back.

Your intention was to take an Uber to the emergency room on campus, but when you checked your bank account you were almost certain a ride request wouldn't even go through.

You physically just felt too weak to stand so you sat on the curb, knowing you were going to have to call Leighton and just fucking hated yourself for it.

You pulled out the pills you had taken from your pocket and investigated them. You got them from Liza instead of your normal dealer. She told you they would be exactly the same pills you were used to buying from Angel, just less expensive. Your lack of funds sold you on them immediately. Except now that you actually took the time to study them, you realize they looked nothing like the other ones.

You had no idea what you took.

What you do know is you took two of them at once. It was less than what you normally would've taken. You can't even remember why you decided to only take two instead of your usual four, but clearly sober you was looking out.

Well...semi-sober you.

You called Leighton and it took three tries for her to answer. She was mad at you again because you bailed on her the other night on dinner plans that you made.

"Hello?" She finally answered. You could hear laughter in the background so you knew she was out with friends or out doing something and it made you feel even worse to ask her for help.

"Hi, Leight." You say softly, pushing your fingertips into your eyes trying to build up the courage to ask her. "Can you help me, please?"

"Help you?" She sounds concerned and you hear a door close behind her, all of the noise fading away. "What's going on?"

"I need-I need, fuck!" You try, the words feeling almost impossible to get out. "I need to go to the emergency room, I think." You finally get out, blinking hard to keep your brain working.

"Emergency room? What's going on? Where are you?"

"Please, Leighton. I'm at the blue house on the edge of campus. You know the one." You rub your palm against your forehead. "Can you please just come get me."

"Yeah. I know the one." Of course she did. Everyone knows the blue fucking house. It's literally nicknamed the druggie house on campus. There's only one reason people went there. Her voice sounded monotone and she was definitely connecting some dots. "I'm coming, I'm not far away." She hangs up on you before you can even tell her goodbye and you just feel her disappointment radiating through the phone.

It was less than ten minutes when you saw a familiar car pull up.

Leighton stepped out of the passenger side and as soon as the door closed, the window was rolling down to reveal Whitney in the drivers seat.

"Are you kidding me, Leighton." You complained as she rushed over to help you.

"Shut up." Whitney said from the driver's side, rolling her eyes at you.

"Fuck you!" You spat at her, letting Leighton help pull you to your feet.

"No, fuck you! What the hell is wrong with you?" You stayed silent because you didn't have an answer to her question. "That's what I fucking thought. Now get in the car."

Leighton sat in the back with you, letting you lay your head on her lap. She hasn't said a single word to you since she picked you up and you don't know if it was the drugs or the anxiety caused by her silence that was making your heart race the way it was.

Your body was sore and your head ached. You turned so you could bury your face in her sweater, inhaling the smell of her. She massaged your scalp, pulling you closer to her body.

Whitney dropped you both off at the front door and said to call her when you needed to be picked up. She sounded a lot nicer now, but she was also talking to Leighton.

You weren't feeling great at all and you definitely had the fear that whatever dosage that girl gave you was wearing off and you were going to die in the waiting room of this fucking hospital.

Leighton helped bring you to the front desk. You declined her offer of a wheelchair because something about that just felt degrading. Having to have her push you because of something you did to yourself?

Falling to the ground and crawling would be less embarrassing.

The woman at the desk greeted you and asked what was going on and you hesitated. Because even though Leighton probably figured shit out by now, you never said it out loud.

Saying it out loud would finally be admitting that you had a problem, which is why you've avoided it for so long.

"I-um-I-" both Leighton and the lady at the desk with the patience of a saint watch you fiddle nervously with the pen attached to a chain. "I am not feeling too great. I was given narcan maybe thirty minutes ago." You were blinking rapidly trying to get through your sentence, the fluorescent lighting and the pounding headache was making your brain short circuit.

The lady at the desk sat up quickly, asking you for your ID and insurance card, asking someone behind her to call for a nurse. You pulled your wallet from your pocket and Leighton had to help you pull the cards out because your hands were shaking and you just couldn't do it.

A male nurse appeared out of nowhere with a rolling blood pressure cuff and asked you to follow him to the triage area.

"What about my stuff?" You ask, letting this man escort you to a little area.

"I've got it, baby." Leighton said calmly, a few steps behind you, shoving your ID back into your wallet that she was still holding.

You sat down in a chair with your feet planted firmly on the floor like instructed and you felt like this firm wooden chair was consuming you.

He slipped the blood pressure cuff on your arm, the stethoscope planted firmly in the center of your arm. His eyes never left you while he asked you some questions.

"Do you know how many doses of the narcan you received?"

"Just one." You say and he nods.

"What did you take?" He asks, making eye contact with you and waiting for your response.

You swallowed and looked up at Leighton, who was waiting at you expectantly to answer.

"I don't know. It wasn't from my usual person. My friend that got it for me said it would be the same and it wasn't. I took less than what I normally would." You admit and it sounds embarrassing to even say something like that. You just hope he doesn't ask you-

"How much do you normally take? How much did you take of these?"

"Um, four to five 10mg Percocet. I only took two of these."

"Okay." He nods and the machine starts to beep. He removes the cuff from your arm and motions to someone behind you. "We are going to take you back now, okay? Your blood pressure is too low." He said while he and Leighton help you stand up and you were mortified to find them leading you to a wheelchair.

"Yeah, okay." You nod and when you sit you look back between Leighton and the nurse with a panicked expression. "Can she come back with me?"

"Of course." He takes hold of the wheelchair and takes you to a double door, pressing the button and leading you and Leighton through a maze of curtained rooms before bringing you to an open bed.

As soon as your butt hit that bed, two nurses were rushing in one was hooking you up to different machines and pulling down your shirt to stick electrodes on your chest to monitor your heart.

Before you could even process anything, your bed was being lowered and you were laying flat on your back and the second nurse was giving you a second dose of narcan up your nostrils while the first nurse finally explained to you and Leighton what the fuck was going on.

She said that narcan is usually done in two or more doses and that it often wears off before the effects of the pills do. That because you only received one dose, you were already showing the signs of the first dose wearing off and going into another potential overdose.

You didn't even have time to panic or freak out. They had the narcan up your nose and had you sitting back up like it never even happened. Leighton nodding with wide eyes from the chair next to you and trying to absorb what the nurse was saying.

You gripped the bridge of your nose and squinted your eyes while the nurse finished speaking, already starting to feel better.

"We are going to keep you here for a couple of hours just for monitoring." She rolls a little tray over to your bed that has a needle, test tubes, and a tourniquet. All the makings for getting your blood drawn. "We are required to do a toxicology screening on you, especially since you do not know what you took." She slips on a new pair of gloves. "These results will not be shared with the university." She reassured when she saw your face drop. "Arm out."

She cleaned your arm with an alcohol pad and tied the elastic tourniquet around your arm, pressing on your veins to find a vein. She inserts the needle in your arm and you watch the multiple vials fill up. She removes the tourniquet, has you hold a cotton ball where the needle went in and slaps a bandaid over it. She cleans up the area and says she'll be back shortly and walks out without saying another word.

Leighton had been silent the entire time. She was holding your things and sitting on the chair next to your bed watching the monitor with all off your vitals. Her eyes looked glassed over and you didn't know what to say or how to even begin to say it.

"Thanks for coming with me." You say pitifully and her eyes dart from the monitor to look over at you.

"I feel so stupid." She says, shaking her head. "Everything is like, making sense now, you know? The missed dates, the weird behavior, the angry outbursts." She nods her head, almost like she was agreeing with her own thoughts.

"I'm so sorry."

"And then you take shit that you don't even know what it is and- and you fucking overdose? What if you fucking died, Y/N?" She sounds so angry, but you can see she's on the verge of tears. You reach for her, touching her arm and she yanks herself away from you. "Don't fucking touch me."

"Then fucking go if you don't want to stay." You say, staring up at the ceiling, blinking back tears.

"Stop."

"I should've just let myself die on the curb of that stupid fucking house." You slammed your head against the pillow, the machines beeping like crazy for a brief moment.

"Can you just shut the fuck up with that self deprecating shit?" She spits, crossing her arms and legs.

She's very closed off and distant now. It almost felt like you could feel her distancing herself from you in real time. There's an awkward silence between the two of you and you reach for her.

"Leighton..."

"Mmmh mmmh." She shakes her head no, keeping her attention focused on her phone

"Baby." You try again and when her fingers pause over the phone screen you know you're getting somewhere. "Please, baby."

She rolls her eyes and sighs, giving you her attention.

"What."

"I'm really sorry." You say sincerely, playing with the edge of the flimsy hospital blanket.

"For...?" There was no hint of emotion to her voice. But in scenarios like this, Leighton was always good at shutting down and putting her walls up.

"For how I've been treating you. For a lot of things."

"If that's all you're going to say, that's a really shitty fucking apology."

"No! Of course that's not all. I-fuck. Okay. Just give me a second to collect my thoughts."

"Well, maybe if you weren't high on god knows what you'd be able to give me a less pathetic apology."

Maybe it was your high wearing off, maybe it was just the drugs in general, but man for the briefest moment you wanted to cuss her out.

You clench your jaw and exhale through your nose in an attempt to remain calm.

"If you let me fucking finish talking maybe you'll be more than the pathetic apology." You say through gritted teeth and she just raises her eyebrows at you expectantly. "I fucked up, okay? I know that. I didn't mean for it to get this bad." You admit and she tilts her head, her gaze visibly softening.

"What do you mean?" She scoots the hospital chair closer to your bed.

"I got the meds originally when I messed up my knee. It freaked me out about if I would get to play again or not. When I got back into it, it was great, but I fucking sucked and there was this insane amount of pressure to be as good as I was before my injury. There still is that pressure. My knee just felt tight all the time. Like it was about to snap at any moment. I did the physical therapy, the ice baths, I did everything. Well, everything but admit that maybe it's just straight up fucked." You look down and begin to pick at on your fingertips. Leighton reaches forward to stop you and instead you press your thumb against one of her manicured nails, enjoying the feeling of the pinpricking pressure against your fingertip.

"Keep going, baby." She encourages softly and you could feel yourself relax.

"I refilled my final prescription for my meds right before I started playing again. I would ration the bottle and take them after games and stuff. Then I took them during a game and realized I could play pretty damn good and my leg felt fantastic. Well, until afterwards when it felt worse than ever. Turns out if you take meds to prevent pain, it's really difficult to gauge when you're pushing yourself too far. So I would take some meds before the game, during the game, then again after the games..." Leighton opens her mouth to speak, but you continue with your thought. "...And then one or two more before bed."

"Jesus Christ, Y/N." She says, sounding both shocked and horrified. "I don't even...how long-how many? I don't know! I'm trying not to ask my question without sounding like a dick." She admits and looks to you for some guidance.

You don't know her exact question, but you can guess where she was going with it.

"It was supposed to be refill that lasted three months and finished it in like a month. Maybe a month in a half if I want to be generous. They were a low-ish doses, so I would take more."

"How many were you supposed to take a day? How many did you take?" She asked her questions in a quick succession.

"I was supposed to take one, max two, a day." She nodded and raised her eyebrows expectantly. "I was taking like four to six."

"I-what?! You know what," she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. "Let me approach this in a non-judgmental way. I just, I really want to know what happened to escalate the situation and bring us where we are now." She squeezes your hand reassuringly.

"So my prescription runs out and I find a connect when I go to one of the parties at the blue house. I got pills from him for a while, but you would not believe how expensive opioids are." You tried to joke, only when you looked up to see Leighton was not laughing, not even cracking a smile, you quickly cleared your throat and got serious. "After DJ died in the house, I starting using more and it was just getting more expe-"

"Wait what? The guy that overdosed in the house, you were his friend?"

"I, well, yes. But I was also...there. I called the ambulance when I found him." You could feel everything else coming out like word vomit. "I introduced him to Liza, who introduced him to drugs." You clenched your jaw, trying to swallow down the breakdown you've been keeping at bay for over a month now. "I killed him, Leighton. It's my fault he's dead." You look up at her tearfully and when Leighton frowns and calls you 'baby', you fucking lose it.

She stands up and pulls your face from your hands. The machines attached to you are beeping rapidly for who knows what fucking reason and it was pissing you off.

"Get these off of me." You say mid sob, attempting to pull the electrodes of your chest, yanking at the wires and your shirt blindly. "Get these fucking off!"

Leighton was fighting your arms at this point, doing her best to keep your arms still. Your brain could comprehend that you were smacking her unintentionally, hitting her arms, her hands, and her chest. You felt like your body was stuck between fight and flight right now. You felt out of control in every aspect, mentally and physically. You wanted to stop, you wanted to calm down, you just literally could not.

Within seconds two nurses came in and Leighton held your arms until one of the nurses took her place. Her absence felt more upsetting and agitating, so you attempted to reach for her. Your throat felt raw from crying and now you were screaming for Leighton, begging her to help you.

You gripped a nurses arm tightly, your face smushed against her scrubs while you watched Leighton's horrified expression as the two nurses turned you on your side. One of them pulled your pants down on one side and inject a tranquilizer into your ass cheek.

You gasped and squeezed the nurses arm, mortified about what happened and that it happened in front of Leighton. You were also both shocked and impressed at how quickly your heart rate was going down.

You also felt absolutely terrible for the tears and snot you were getting on this poor nurse's scrubs. Going back and forth between pitifully apologizing to her and to Leighton while the meds kicked in.

You could feel your arms getting heavy and the nurses began to lay you on your back again. The one you were gripping for dear life was covering you with a blanket and you can over hear the one that injected your ass trying to talk Leighton through what she just witnessed.

Something about it being normal behavior when coming off a lot of drugs so suddenly. You don't fucking know.

What you do know is Leighton looked pale and traumatized and that it was absolutely your fucking fault.

You reached for her. Desperately trying to tell her that you loved her. That you're in love with her and that you were so fucking sorry.

She looked at you confused, holding your hand and telling you she couldn't understand what you were saying. You could feel yourself getting riled up mentally, but your body felt stuck. Like gum to the bottom of a fucking shoe you were stuck and locked into this bed.

The nurses left and she pulled her chair close to your bed again, her hand never letting go of yours while she did. She sat in front of you, calling you baby, pushing hair from your face, and telling you that it was okay and to just close your eyes for a little bit.

You moaned and whined, tears sliding down your cheeks. They matched the ones streaming down Leighton's and you wanted you kiss them away. Instead she wiped your tears and begged you not to cry, her lips pressed against the side of your head.

You closed your eyes, Leighton's lips against your temple while she whispered calming things in your ear.

---

You woke up confused. You had a hospital gown on over your shirt and pants, and you were also pretty sure you were in a different room.

"Water?" You croak, your mouth dryer than nothing you have ever experienced before.

"Here." Came a voice next to you that was most definitely not Leighton.

You turn your head to the side to see Whitney holding a styrofoam cup with a straw and you push yourself to sit up straight, blinking and wiping away the dried up tears and sleep gunk from your eyes.

You hesitate at first, but you take the cup from her. You drink the cool ice water down like your life depended on it.

"Thank you." You tell her when you finished drinking, breathing heavily like a toddler after they downed some juice. You look around the room for any signs of Leighton, finding none. You try not to panic, but the machine measuring your hate rate gives you away.

"She'll be back. I sent her home a bit ago to change into different clothes and get something to eat." Whitney informs you, setting the water on the little table. She stands up and goes to the sink, wetting a small stack of those thin paper towels with warm water and wiping your face and mouth. You could feel your dried spit and snot come off with ease. You closed your eyes while she wiped your face, too tired to feel embarrassed. "Better?" She asks you, patting your face with a dry paper towel when she was done.

You nod your head yes, settling further into the bed.

"How long was I out?" You stare at the analog clock on the wall, but it doesn't help much since you didn't even know the time you came in or were knocked out at.

"Maybe seven hours? It's been a while. They said it could range from like six to twelve hours." You nod, staring at your covered feet. You can feel yourself checking out mentally, but Whitney talking again brings you back to earth. "Leighton filled me in, I hope that's okay."

"Mhmm, yeah." You shrugged and nodded, trying to hide your shame over the fact that another person knows this about you now.

"Why didn't you say anything to anyone?" She was soft with her approach, but there was a thin layer of assertiveness underneath.

"Well, Whitney, the thing about having a drug problem is you don't really fucking realize you have a drug problem until you end up in a hospital and get a needle shoved into your ass cheek. Or, maybe it's when a girl that injects meth between her toes gets pissy for using her Narcan on you. Gee, I just can't decide." You say sarcastically and Whitney's face hardens slightly.

"Okay, I get it." She says defensively, sitting back in the chair to lean away from you. You sigh and attempt to run a hand through your hair, but it's all matted and sweaty.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." You say quietly. "I thought I had a handle on it, okay? I didn't think it was a problem." You admit, nodding your head as you thought to yourself. "Clearly." You vaguely gesture to yourself laid up in a hospital bed and Whitney nods.

"Everything is starting to make sense though. Your behaviors, your angry outbursts, the way you treated Leighton."

You wince at that last one. You treated her horribly the last like eight months and you knew that.

It was such a weird feeling. To love someone so deeply and be unable to stop yourself from absolutely wrecking them and treating them like shit.

"Yeah, I've been told already things are adding up. Glad I could provide some clarity." You give her a tight lipped smile and a weak thumbs up.

"You're awake!"

You look up to see Leighton coming into the room, a little visitor badge pinned to her hoodie. You nod, looking up at her with a smile. Your eyes start to water, something about seeing her just hitting you with the overwhelming urge to cry because you were so fucking happy she came back.

You open your arms for her and she sets her purse down to rush to your side and give you a hug. You wrap your arms around her and hold her tightly, pressing your lips wherever you could.

A knock at the door caused her to pull away. She took the extra seat on the other side of your bed as the doctor came in and greeted you, washing his hands.

He did an overall exam on you. Checked your mouth, your eyes, listening to your heart and lungs. He pulled his stool up to your bed and rested a folder of paperwork by your feet.

"So, we got your blood results back. It's routine to drug test in these situations. The school will not be informed of the results." He reassured you like the nurse did previously. "Now," he opens the packet of papers to a specific page where numbers are highlighted. "You have a decent amount in your system. I'm sure that's something you're aware of." You nod and he continues. "We do not think you overdosed on the pills themselves. Not to say that means you should go out and keep slamming them back."

The three of you made a face at him, unsure if his comment was meant to lighten the mood or if he was just a dick.

"So what's the problem then?" Whitney speaks up and he clears his throat.

"Well, you have a dangerous amount of fentanyl in your system. Whatever you took was most likely laced. Had you taken the four pills you said you normally took, you would probably be dead. Here are some packets about fentanyl as well as some inpatient and outpatient treatments for opioid addiction, and some information about methadone." He sets about five pamphlets in the open space between your legs and stands up, pushing his chair back in. "The nurse is going to come in with your discharge paperwork. Schedule an appointment with your PCP. Have a good day ladies." He sanitizes his hands and leaves the room, leaving the three of you looking confused and dumbfounded.

"That was it?" Leighton asks after he leaves, clearly frustrated. She reaches forward and grabs the pamphlets off your legs and thumbs through them furiously. "You almost fucking die apparently and that's it? You go the fuck home? What the fuck."

"Leighton, please stop." You say calmly, but she was pacing the room now while she read.

"This methadone seems good. I can call my dad and get you into a good rehab. Inpatient or out." She says while reading through the pamphlets and you start feeling overwhelmed.

Of course you wanted to be better and to stop taking the pills.

But the thought of actually doing it scared the shit out of you.

"Can I please just go home first and figure this out later?" You ask, scratching your eyebrow.

"Yes," Whitney says and looks up and Leighton sternly. "Yes, you can." She says, answering for Leighton.

"I have one request." Leighton says, shoving the pamphlets into her purse before sitting at the edge of your bed. "Please stay with us for a bit. A few days, a week. However long. Just please do it, okay?"

You nodded your head. You knew you scared her, no, fucking traumatized her. She was looking at you right now like she wanted to cry. Like if you told her no she would probably burst into tears.

You couldn't tell her no. You couldn't do this to her again. You definitely couldn't do anything to risk losing her.

"Yes, I'll stay with you. Can I stop at my room at get some clothes?"

"Absolutely. Can I go in with you when you do?"

You hesitated. You thought about the state of your side of the room. You definitely weren't as clean as you used to be. You most definitely had been slacking on doing your laundry and the thought of her going in there and seeing your gross, crusty underwear made you want to flip.

You still agreed though and she kissed your cheek. She went to kiss your lips and you turned your head.

"My mouth feels disgusting. More kissing later?"

"Deal." She nods, sneaking a quick peck onto your lips anyway.

There was a knock on the door and a nurse stepped in holding some paperwork.

"Alrighty, Y/N. Let's get you outta here, hun."

---

You rushed into your dorm, quickly picking up dirty clothes from the floor and tossing them in your hamper, picking up trash and shoving it aside.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." You apologize profusely for the state of your room.

"No, don't. It's okay." Leighton says, taking in the space.

She hadn't been allowed into your room for a while. Usually when she would come over it would be spotless and smell like air fresher. It was a complete 180 from what she was used to.

You could almost see her absorbing in the gravity of your addiction. As if almost OD'ing on laced pills, blowing off her dates, and having frequent mood swings weren't enough. She was getting a first hand view of how little you had been taking care of yourself because of it.

Something about that felt more shameful than anything. You felt vulnerable and exposed. You had been caught putting on a show and now all the curtains were being pulled back to expose the complex layers of your addiction. Exposing problems that you didn't even realize were becoming problems until someone you love is watching you scramble to clean it up.

"I just need to get some clean clothes." You say, opening your drawers and finding them to be pretty bare. "Fuck." You whisper to yourself.

"Why don't you bring some dirty clothes with you and we can do laundry at my dorm. Okay, baby?"

"Um, y-yeah." You blink hard, slamming your drawer shut. You open another and are thankful to find a handful of clean underwear. You pull them out and shove them into the bag Leighton had set on your bed. "Can you get me some shirts from my closet? I'll gather my dirty clothes."

"Of course." She turns around to look through your closet.

You grabbed a garbage bag and began picking clothes off the floor, plucking clothes from your hamper and other various surfaces around the room, shoving them into the trash bag. When a bunch of change falls out of one of your pockets you sigh, going back into the bag and digging through the pockets of any pants and shorts you shoved in there to make sure those were empty before you continued.

You picked up a pair of sweatpants, digging your hand into the pocket and freezing when you felt something sharp-ish poke your fingertips.

It was almost like you could hear angels singing when you pull the item from your pocket. A small baggie with three little blue pills in it. Three pills that you most definitely recognized and knew they would be safe. You traced your thumb over them, licking your lips.

"Do you want this sweater, babe?" Leighton asks from the closet behind you and you briefly turn around to face her.

"Yes, that's perfect, baby." You tell her. You weren't even looking at the sweater.

You had look at her face. Feeling guilty about everything that went down. Feeling guilty about all the time and energy she was probably going to put in to taking care of you.

You knew the best thing to do right now would be to hand the pills over. It would be the responsible thing.

You wanted to be responsible.

You grip the small baggie in your hand tightly and scratch under your nose with the back of your hand, thinking of the way you were going to hand the baggie over.

You open your palm again to stare at the pills, your hand shaking. You look around the room one more time, turning to smile at Leighton while she had a few shirts and sweaters draped over her arm for you.

You wanted to be responsible, just maybe not today.

You clear your throat, shoving the pills into the deepest corner of your front pocket.

[rottedsoulx]

HORIZONS AU

Me: I hate Breekoppy :angree:

Also me; But what if they kissed branch,,, :flushed:

more info under the cut

Anyways this is a Vampire & Werewolves AU unrelated to other media. It's a bit silly and dark at the same time so stick with me for this scattered explanation.

Creek is a vampire

Branch is a werewolf

Poppy is still a princess and she doesn't change (yet?)

Creek is the only vampire in the village. His coven was hunted down until he was the only survivor & he wanders out of sight until finding a village full of gullible, naive trolls. He survives mostly on the blood of livestock and, like in Adventure Time, he can drink the color red. It doesn't fill his appetite, and he very rarely drinks troll blood (despite its benefits he will not risk his survival just for a proper meal).

He gets by, by telling the pop trolls he is Vegan™. Despite the fact that pop trolls are by default vegetarian, or insectivorous at most & it wouldn't be hard for pop troll vegans to exist, he gets away with it because pop trolls don't have an understanding of what being vegan *is*.

This, in turn, pisses Branch off. Branch knows there's something off with Creek down to the way he smells. He immediately clocks Creek as something unnatural & eventually comes to the conclusion that Creek MUST be a vampire. He makes wooden stakes, drops rice on Creek, has an UNwelcome mat & tried to prove his guilt via garlic once.

This pisses CREEK off. Because he sees Branch as a hypocrite. The wultroll hasn't even claimed the small village as his pack. He can smell the dog on Branch & is constantly dropping hints that he knows Branch's secret too. When Branch continues trying to expose him, it's frustrating. Everyone thinks Branch is crazy why is he so determined to label him as a threat while risking his own safety within the village???

But this is a misunderstanding, you see.

... because Branch doesn't know he's a werewolf.

He's scruffy, and fluffier than other trolls. He's a growler but whispers from the village led him to believe it was because he was feral. Because he was grey. Because he hunted & trapped creatures like mice and puffalo.

He fully believes that he looks the way he does because he grew up grey. It was what people always said about him and he never had a better explanation. He dug a hole in the ground & slept in it. Fearful, he was almost never outside during night. He's aware he sleepwalks & the resulting mess makes him determined to sleep inside his bunker and his bunker only. He doesn't need to make the villagers more wary of him.

I like to think he only finds out after Creek makes the poly. Also after he learns that Creek actually IS a vampire and he was right! Branch is still shocked to see Creek very casually drinking the blood of a mouse he'd caught, and after that the misunderstandings are cleared up.

attached: pictures of discord messages relating to the au. Only mine tho bc I didn't ask any of the people I was bouncing off if I could post their words :sweats:

and below is after Branch asks if Creek is gonna tell Poppy that he's a vampire, and Creek asks if Branch is gonna tell her that he's a werewolf.

He'd be too scared to tell Poppy before he learned more about himself. He'd be worried about the origin of the curse & wouldn't really know why he's a wultrol or if he was born one or what, until he reunites with his brothers.

...I'll talk about them in a separate post in a few days. This has been a long one! If anyone read this far, HI!!!! Thank you.

P.S the garlic incident results in Creek getting rashes and Branch barfing bc dogs cannot eat garlic! They're both allergic.

[juliasturnz]

“A simple call”

M.S x y/n

🜸 - i forgot to thank y’all but oh my god? 100 followers is so muchhh! I’m so grateful for every single one of you🤍

★ - summary:

you’re having the depression loop again, all you wanna do is lay in bed and cry. You need to do it again. You just need to, luckily someone caught you just in the right time

༆ - Warnings!:

Sh moment! (Doing it!!!) mention of sh (and sh on its own), crying, depression, comfort talk (does that exist? 😭), use of y/n!!

✫彡 writers note:

This is slightly personal, I hope y’all enjoy it!

Im so sorry for not posting! School has started and I really need to focus. Trying my best to post as much as possible. ♥️

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈

Your laying down in your messy bed, not normal messy with like blankets everywhere, or some clothing here and there. But your bed was dirty, dust everywhere, makeup brushes, old food. Whatever disgusting thing you could think of. But did you notice at all? No.

You have been in a suffocating loop, for what you feel like months. Everything has been more exhausting than ever, you don’t even remember what the last time you showered was. Or even brushed your hair, since you didn’t knew where your brush even is.

And most of all, you had a boyfriend you haven’t been texting at all. Reaching out to your phone was already to much to bare.

You were not new in a relationship with Matt. But it wasn’t like you have been ages with him, but you felt like all you could do is sink in your bed. And sometimes, maybe even barely get some food.

You really wanted Matt to know what was going on and help you, but you could find such a big comfort in your sad and dark feelings. You always felt like you deserved it. All of it.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Something felt different this morning, a urge. no you have done this to much, you promised Matt to stop. this isn’t healthy. But it’ll make the pain go away, does it tho? Nobody cares. Do it.. do it.. do it.. do it.. do it..

your mind couldn’t stop racing, you felt yourself shaking, not scared. Adrenaline, am I gonna do it?

You find yourself zoning out, your mind still racing, but the urge is way to big. You need to stop your mind. You have to. Otherwise is isnt gonna stop right?

Your cold feet hitting the messy and covered floor, still thinking about every move you make. You’ve decided, you open that drawer. The drawer, your hand is shaking, but not only from adrenaline, definitely more emotions. But it’s calling your name. The comfort you didn’t knew you needed all these suffocating months, all these horrible days. This was the way.

You pick out the perfectly sharp blade, your fingers trailing the blade slightly, its perfect.

you are lumber to the cold bathroom that you remember oh so well, you aren’t gonna look in the mirror. Maybe that will change your mind, that’s not what you wanted. You didn’t wanna see your messy and ugly face either, so you just sat against the counter.

you lean your head against the cold counter top, you look at the ceiling. Still your mind racing, still the same thoughts. Everything was so quiet. Except for your mind

Frustration is coming up to you, deeply. Why are you doing this? This is the way. You’re sure. This is it right? You linger your eyes around the already healed scars, you needed more.

Finally it hit the skin, finally the voices were gone, finally you felt relieve.

Suddenly the bathroom door swings open, “oh no my baby shit.” Matt drops his stuff en runs to you to the bathroom. You are still in complete disbelief, how didn’t you hear him? This couldn’t be true, this isn’t happening.

“Oh my baby, my baby no no no no.” Matt is in full panic mode, he never had experienced you on the bathroom floor, not like this.

“H-here let me c-clean you up alright? Y- you’re gonna be okay.” His voice has never been this shaky, he’s stumbling over shampoo bottles, old towels and dirty laundry. And you haven’t been in this much disbelief. Ever.

You couldn’t say a word, not a single one. For the next 20 minutes Matt has been holding you in his arms. Warm in your fresh made bed, what he made for you. With the new stuffed animal he was going to surprise you with.

He helped you with everything, helping you get up, rinsing the mess, helping you shower. Everything you didn’t knew you needed, all you needed was him.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Your laying down, staring at the ceiling. You didn’t felt relieve, not a little bit. All you felt was guilt and shame. You didn’t want Matt to find you like this, that was the last his beautiful soul deserved.

“How are you feeling pretty.” He was cleaning your room, he did all this for you. You couldn’t believe it.

You didn’t know how to answer, so you just didn’t, Matt turned his face around to face you. He comes up to you, joins you in the bed. And hugs you tighter then ever.

He gives you a slight kiss on your head. “You know, you don’t have to say anything. Just know I love you in any way.”

Your laying hopeless curled up in a ball underneath his warm and comforting arms, this was all you needed, a simple call.

⤹ ᰔᩚ

I’m sorry this is so heavy to take on, + sorry it is this short. I just felt this was the right ending. I’m so grateful for each one of y’all, please remember my dms are open!

٠ ࣪⭑ tags! 🏷️

@chrispotatos @chrisslut333 @chrissslut @chrisbesitos @chriscamopants @chrissv4mp @chrisshotdog @chrizzzpykreme @chestersturniolo @mattztrip @mattsfavbitchhh @mattstattos @mattsturnswife @mattsgf @sturnioloshacker @sturnslesbo @sturnschris @sturniolonmc @sturnzsblog @sturnzsun @sturnzwrld @sturnzyolo @sturnzluv @monroesturnns @thenickgirl @sturniolonmc @sturnioloho @sturnioloslut @sturniolodollx @sturnschris @sturnxiolotriplets

[moonlight-tmd]

Prowlbee, ShockBee, Blitzbee

Kink head cannons.

Oooh dear- that was bound to get into my inbox at some point. Welp, here we go.

ATTENTION: this blog has a unique version of interfacing so read this post to know what's up!!

(CW: A whole lot of dirty)

ProwlBee

Prowl would defo be into breeding and all the animal-related kinks. Even tho Cybertronians have different biology from earth's animals he still finds ways for them to work stuff out. (octopus breeding, for example) They have a bunch of different poses to do the deed that they like.

Roleplaying as feral and broody are one of the ways they go at it.

Bee defo has some marking kink and loves to leave scratches and bites all over Prowl.

Prowl is mostly the bottom, although he doesn't mind having a go at Bee when the mini wants it.

They both love some sensory play- Bee's horns are sensitife to help him navigate the surroundings but also are very fun to play with during the act. Prowl is sensititve to sound and light so having Bee vent and whisper into his audial defo does things to him. Blindfold makes it even better.

I guess they're into bondage a little bit- I mean, most female animals are pinned down while the male breeds them therefore Prowl would be into being tied up/having limited movement and letting Bee wreck him while he helplessly struggles.

BlitzBee

Both of them are a bit of masochists- c'mon what did you expect.

They're reallly into marking, although Blitzwing has to be very careful because Bee is much more fragile than him.

They're switches, but Bee's topping score is a lot higher than Blitz's.

Blitzwing is into praise, he never really got any and loves when Bee whispers all those sweet things, dirty or not, into his audials while he ravages his insides. Bee is 50/50 on praise and degradation; he loves when Blitzwing tells him how much he loves him/his frame while also scolding him for trouble/being an aft.

Size difference. Bee loves to be strangled by Blitz's thick meaty tentacles and have that sweet sensory input all on him. Bee's tentacles are thin but quite long and very easy to get into all the little cracks and crevices at the sensitive spark chamber.

Blitz's glossa itself is a lot like a tentacle so Bee loves it when Blitz lick his tentacles and with it- Bee's still a little bit nervous when Blitz brings his intake close to something so small and fragile as his spark chamber but trusts him to not eat it. (which Blitzwing would NEVER do, not to his hummel)

Bondage for Blitzwing. I cannot stress enough how much he loves being tied up by Bee and having him do all the amazing things to him- he was scared at first but began to absolutely love it over time. Bee likes to have power over Blitz like that.

Edging, these two cannot go without having as least a little bit of teasing. They both love to make the other one beg them to finally do some real action.

Vore. Blitz is adamant to squeeze Bee into his intake and have him be all snug and comfy inside...and maybe have some more kinky action going as well. Bee wasn't as excited for this as Blitz but it eventually rubbed off on him and he gets a little horny whenever Blitz licks or puts his limb into his intake. To Bee's surprise, Blitz actually put effort into preparing himself to eat Bee; Blitzwing has eaten a lot of stuff over his years of existence, many which were not made for consumption, his fuel tank could handle almost anything. He made sure his throat could fit something larger and that all the system commands worked perfectly so he wouldn't accidentally digest Bee (which was very alluring and kinky but he couldn't allow it.) They have one of those giant spools or wire that Bee ties around his leg/arm so Blitzwing can pull him out easier. Whenever he's inside Blitz, he has to have this protective shield-coat (think like a glove around his whole frame) over himself so his own exposed parts don't get damaged by Blitz's internal fluids... also his paint, he does not have an excuse to explain why he's missing paint/has to get new one so often. Blitz loves having an "internal massage" done while he (and Bee) self-service. Bee loves the tight space and its walls squeezing him everytime Blitz moves.

ShockBee

Shockwave/Longarm loves to be in control. He loves to immobilize Bee and tell him what to do/say as well as delay/force his overloads.

Bondage is a huge thing for both of them, Shock/Long doesn't even need a rope to tie Bee up and have him all exposed. Same with Bee, he'll just maneuver his way around enough and have Long/Shock tangled up in his own limbs and at Bee's mercy.

Shock/Long loves to praise Bee- just tell him every single thing he loves about him and how good he's doing.

Bee loves how Longarm's body is all thick and plumpy. Loves to grope it when the mech least expects it during the fun. He's surprisingly flexible which allows them to try out a bunch of different poses.

Now for the bonus fun! AUs!

Cyberbeast AU (ProwlBee)

Prowl knows Cyberbeasts are like earth animals and that they too have their breeding season once a year. During that one week Prowl is basically kidnapped and ravaged over and over and over again- Bee, quite literally, is trying to breed him real good and Prowl loves it.

Prowl is into doing it while Bee's in his beast alt. He loves when Bee growls and bites at everything he can and rubs his scent on him. Even in half alts he does it.

Bee loves getting praise, he puts on intentionaly displays to further enchant his mate. Prowl is half into body worshipping Bee on this- he's just so amazed by the beauty of his one and only.

Prowl is always the bottom, he has no choice (not that he complains) but to get pinned down, barely able to ventilate and get wrecked.

Prowl actually persuaded Bee into wearing collars and leashes while they do it. They have a pet/owner roleplay whenever that happens.

Warframe!Bumblebee AU (BlitzBee)

Brasshorn/Bumblebee loves having Blitz immobilized and left to his mercy. He loves to be in control but in a way that'll let him drown Blitz in pleasure and bliss and not command him.

Brass/Bee loves to praise Blitz and worshipping his frame as if it was the most perfect one to ever exist.

Blitz really wants to top but Brass/Bee doesn't let him, only for special occasions (he has to be functional for work).

Blits is into BDSM and really wants to be ravaged by his mate but Brass/Bee is always careful with him- unless he begs long enough, then he'll wreck him in the best ways possible straight on his workbench.

Civil!Blitzwing AU (BlitzBee)

Blitzwing loves when Bee dirty talks and degrades him, Bee loves when Blitz praises him.

Blitz loves a bit of pain play- he's full of dirty little secrets he has yet to uncover.

Part-Insecticon!Bumblebee AU (BlitzBee)

Feeding kink. After hatching from the cocoon, Bee can produce honey. Blitzwing loves to eat it, more so when Bee sits on top of him and feeds it to him- even more so when it's mouth-to-mouth and they can enjoys all the sweetest kisses in the world.

Praise and worship, wings specifically. fligh frames have in-build thing for wings; Blitz adores Bee's sparkly wings and knowing their history he doesn't hold back about them when he's praising Bee. Bee is often too overstimulated to do the same but he'll let Blitz know by grabbing his wings and caressing/pulling at them.

Bee has a valve under his abdomen after hatching, and it gets really leaky when the two have fun. Blitzwing has Bee (carefully) pinned down with one servo while he passionatelly make out with him, ravages Bee's insides with his tentacles, and roughly fingers the valve giving Bee way too much stimulation on all ends. Bee loves it, even though he's numb for the entire day afterwards.

Bee loves to rub himself on Blitzwing and leave the sweet perfume on him, Bee got claws too so he'll leave tiny scratches on Blitz- most often his wings, to claim him into the hive.

Sparkeater!Bumblebee AU (ShockBee)

Since Bee and Long/Shock can't really interface because of the risk of contracting the disease, they have to come up with other ways to pleasure themselves. One way is to self-service one another.

Long/Shock has acquired an improved lab protection shield-coat (force field that sits on you like a glove) before he came to earth, this allowed them to actually interface without (most of) the stress about transmitting the disease via energy/fluids. (it shift with the body but never lets anything inside)

It's a rarity for Bee and Long/Shock to play the life and death game, but when they do- Long/Shock brings Bee a live spark to devour before they have fun, Bee uses his sparkeater form to get all kinky with bondage and marking (always with protection). Long/Shock loves the sense of danger when Bee licks his tentacles, slowly inching closer to his spark chamber. Bee would never do this to him and with a tank occupied he's barely any hungry.

Also some stand-alone Bee kinks cuz I like him-

Bee loves dress up, he'll put on fancy lingerie for his beloved and behave the part of a good "caretaker" while pleasing his mate.

Bee is a certified top, sometimes he bottoms but mostly he's in charge. Tiny top bias showing-

Choking/Squishing/Size difference. He loves a good hefty mate, and almost everyone is bigger than him so it makes sense- the bigger the better.

Praise- this guy loves to get his ego rubbed, especially during fun times. He loves the attention thoroughly.

Always aftercare, he'll do his best to actually take care of his beloved after the fun.

[amarylliasky]

Number 6 is kind of a random post!

Random things that I frequently forget exist and are canon in Tcf/lcf

1. Choi Han canonically has three ancient powers.

2. The exact words Eruhaben used to describe Cale’s face are “a bit fancy.” What’s even better is, from that phrase alone, Alberu is immediately able to deduce that it is Cale he is talking about.

3. Rasheel beat the crap out of Dorph and the lion was never heard from again(not in any significance or that I remember anyway. It’s been a hot minute since I read the end of part 1).

4. Ron and Beacrox never had their housewarming party. Cale and Raon even said they would bring gifts.

5. Alberu has other half siblings aside from Robbit and the third prince(who still doesn’t have a name).

6. Lee Chul Min of Earth 1 became a guild leader.

7. Hubesha exists. Add onto that, Priest Gersey exists(I know, I know, they are major antagonists in the later parts of part 1, but it’s been a while ok?)

8. Cale left a priest robe for Clopeh to find, along with a note. Clopeh probably still has it. I’d wager that’s one of the first items on display in the future museum he establishes.

9. (Mentions part 2!!!!!!———>) So far the only person to hide in the ceiling without being uncovered(not undiscovered tho) was that random tail Imperial Prince Adin put on Cale when the Roan envoy arrived at the Empire. This includes xxxx xxxx xxx and Cale himself.

10. Hannah could technically be the youngest swordmaster. Choi Han is over 100 years old and Bud is in his mid thirties. (Of course, that also depends on how skilled Clopeh was at her age too).

11. Cale smacks Beacrox on the head. He then proceeds to dump water on him. He then pats Beacrox’s head with a ‘disgustingly gentle expression.’ Lol.

12. Cale plots his own demise at one point(I could never forget this gem, but every once in a while I just get so surprised that it’s canon and not some sort of crack fic. Not to mention Alberu feeling like he lost to WS because Cale said his cookies were better).

13. Alberu brews tea as a hobby.

14. During the test where Cale is invisible, when they meet Eruhaben but he’s been tricked by the WS/SG, Eruhaben and Raon are about to fight. Meanwhile Cale is, of all places, curled up in a ball between them. Like, why would you just sit there?! Ik he can’t be seen or touched, but still! Also Eruhaben called him a rat. :(

15. On and Cale go on a father-daughter undercover mission disguised as academy students. (I would actually really like to read a fic where they go undercover at an academy in their world, not a crossover or au.

16. Taerang came from Earth 3, right? So hypothetically, since there is a Kim Rok Soo on Earth 1 and 2, does that mean there’s also one on Earth 3? Just something I like to think about. Also, it’s supposedly a mashup of Earth and Cale’s current world, right? So hypothetically speaking, does that mean that both Kim Rok Soo and all of the characters from The Birth of a Hero could possibly exist in one world? I just think that’s cool. I’d like to see that.

17. Cale was gifted an evil sword/dagger from the former Emperor of Mogoru. According to Raon, it has an ‘evil aura.’ Though he does give it back, and I genuinely can’t remember it being of any significance since then.

18. They roleplay going on a walk/ having a picnic in front of the secret entrance to the basement of the Alchemist Bell Tower.

19. Canonically, members of the Penguin tribe apparently waddle around in black outfits and make the best butlers, as stated by Whitiria. Because if that doesn’t scream fantasy cliche I don’t know what does.

20. Cale has two different fears at the beginning and during the war with WS. One is to be the last one alive at the end of the battles, similar to his life as Kim Rok Soo; the other is for his life as Cale Henituse to be just a dream. Both are extremely sad and so like him. It’s not really something I forgot, but it’s also something I think the fandom just doesn’t talk about enough. Like, we all know(and love) to talk about the test on Wind Island, but what about the illusion Elisneh traps him in? To imagine himself waking up as Kim Rok Soo the day after; like all that he experienced, his entire family he built, was all just a dream? That’s heart wrenching. That for me is genuinely one of the most impactful moments in the novel.

Now spoilers for part 2 for those who don’t know what I was talking about on number 9.

///////////////

Cale and Choi Han were discovered in the ceiling by the WS when they sneak into the Dubori territory Capital. Funnily enough though, the only reason Choi Jung Soo was discovered was because he was so shocked by Cale coughing up blood that he was discovered by the Carnage Demon and then they fell through the ceiling.

///

Edit: I edited some of these cuz they’re not actually accurate. In case anyone’s wondering.

[yellowharrington]

jaded - chapter 4, carmy berzatto x reader

pairing + fandom: carmen “carmy” berzatto x fem!reader (she/her pronouns used), the bear fx

warnings: smoking mention, minors dni with this story please.

word count: 2k

a/n: ok literally i am the worst ever and i totally didn't finish this fic even tho i started it so im finally posting the last part literally MONTHS later!!! sorry besties but i couldn't have an unfinished fic out there in the world so... if u fuck w this story at all thank u for reading it and all the encouraging and nice things people have said, it literally made me want to complete this fic so thank u <3

summary: tying up loose ends.

and it's a fuckin' shame that it ended like that you broke your own heart, but you'd never say that we went to hell, but we never came back

masterlist | chapter 3

It all just feels numb.

Sun coming up over the horizon and a light snowfall onto the street below. Your home is quiet, no pans in the kitchen making French omelettes, no TV playing outside the bedroom door as you sleep. No toothbrushing in the bathroom or running shower water, warm and steamy, inviting you in.

It’s not that you weren’t expecting his answer. Or, lack thereof. It’s that he couldn’t make up his fucking mind. First, he’s cooking you an omelette in your favourite pan with a cup of coffee made exactly the way you like it. He’s spending every evening on the couch with you, your hands splayed out against his stomach, comfortable beneath the waistband of his sweats. You’re in his sweater, baking fresh warm cookies so he can have one before bed, smudges of chocolate against your lips as he pushes you up against the counter, hot skin on cold tile.

Next, he has that look on his face, where he’s somewhere else. Thinking of her, in a dreamland where he can make it right again, and it all feels like it comes crashing down. The sweet nothings don’t exist in this realm, there’s no happiness here.

And when you do have to face him on Monday, it’s back to cold shoulder, nothing different. Yes chef, no chef, thank you chef. 

Sydney tries to make conversation, and you feel bad because you won’t bitch about Carmy like you usually would. Richie’s having secret meetings with Natalie, probably more about Claire, but you don’t even think to join in. It hurts, it hurts so fucking much, and it’s hard enough to go outside and take a fucking break from it all, let alone be in the same cramped kitchen with him. There’s no solitude, just aching, just disappointment.

“Did you order me a new cake pan, chef?” It’s directed at Tina, who looks up at you with the same wistful softness as she always does, smiling before nodding in your direction. You don’t hear her slide over to you, but when she suddenly appears at your station, you can tell she just knows something’s wrong.

“What’s up with you?” she asks, clipboard finding it’s way to the counter beside you, where a piping bag lays. “You’re not yourself. Something… wrong. Don’t tell me a boy did this to you.” The tears prick at your eyes and you swallow it all before you can get out a word, because yeah, it all fucking aches and the hurt feels like it’s sitting right behind your eyes, in your throat, ready to come out.

“It’s nothing. It is a boy but, boys are stupid and I’m not gonna cry over one,” you sniffle, before untying your apron and letting it hang loose on your body. “Not worth it.”

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

Your blood runs cold when she gestures just outside to the bright light of the door, where Carmy sits, phone in one hand, cigarette in the other.

Luckily the kitchen is empty when you reply, only so she can hear, “how did you know?”

“I saw the way you looked at him this morning.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“Fuck no. Between you and me, chef.”

You sighed relief, letting your front hit the counter as the stress left your body. “Thank fuck. Yeah, I don’t know, we were-“

“Fuckin’?” Tina’s got a sly smile on her face that makes it impossible not to laugh with her.

“Yeah, I guess. It felt like more than that. But apparently he’s still hung up on Claire so, I guess that ends it.”

She exhales slowly, joining you in a lean against the counter. “Jeff makes mistakes, everyone knows that. He’s moody and sad and he’s got fuckin’ problems, that kid, I tell ya.” She pauses for a second, eyes meeting yours, sincere. “But he’s good. I just don’t think he can handle himself, is all.” She takes a beat, letting her soft hand lay over yours, “He doesn’t let himself have the good shit because it always gets ruined. But you’re good. He’s scared of you.”

“He should be scared of me. I’m gonna fucking kill him,” you mutter, letting your floured hand meet your forehead in annoyance. “I’m not responsible for fixing his shit.”

She nods, agreeing with you, a hand cupping yours on the counter. “No, you’re not. I’m just saying he could use someone like you to bring him back to Earth, is all.”

-

When Carmy does make it back inside, he’s thumbing through paperwork at the desk, hand through his hair stressfully pulling at the strands. He’s trying so hard not to stare at you from where he’s sitting, noticing your cold gaze, somewhere far away. He takes out his phone to scroll through it mindlessly, procrastinating, when he meanders his way to the text icon and opens up your thread. A few texts here and there, mostly just asking about plans to come over, the occasional sexy photo or recipe idea.

[sunday, 10:26] they don't have fresh sourdough. should we just make some this aft?

[saturday, 4:35] i hate when you go in on saturdays

[saturday, 4:36] Photo Recieved

[saturday 4:36] don't you wish you were home with me?

[tuesday, 12:22] is balsamic glaze overdone? lmk. miss u.

It feels a little too domestic, seeing the way he so effortlessly became comfortable with you, a warmth and excitement that was just never there with Claire. It’s raw and it’s guilty and he’ll beat himself up over it forever, but it was never going to be perfect with her, no matter how hard he tried.

“Boss?”

Richie appears in the office, leaning against the door frame before noticing Carmy’s disheveled look. “Yeah?”

“You look worse than usual.”

“Thanks. What do you need?”

“Well, I was gonna ask if you ordered more eggs.”

“I, uh, yeah. Yeah, I think Sydney did.”

“What’s wrong with you?”

It’s like Richie could see right through him.

“Nothin’. Stupid shit.”

Richie steps into the office, leaving the door only slightly ajar.

“Cousin.”

Richie can be sweet when he wants to be, and when he’s got a hand on Carmy’s shoulder and a somber look in his eyes it’s like he already knows how Carmy feels.

“Why do I suck so bad at being a fuckin’ normal person?”

Richie sits next to him, a look of surprise. “Is this about Claire bear?”

“Yes, well - yeah, and also no. Kinda. I don’t know.”

“Is it about Miss Buttercream out there?”

He gestures to you outside the door, zesting some orange on top of the cake you were finishing up. Carmy stifles a laugh.

“We all know you’re porkin’ her.”

“Don’t say that,” Carmy laughs, hand coming up to his face to rub his eyes. “It’s more than that. We’ve been kinda, dating, I guess? I still don’t know what counts as having a girlfriend.”

“So what did you do?”

He gnaws at the skin of his thumb and lets his eyes flicker up to Richie’s. “Fucked it. Last night, I, uh,-“ his hand finds his warm forehead. “I really like her, like a lot. But she asked about Claire and I said the wrong thing, like I always do and uh, she didn’t like it.”

“She’s good,” Richie starts, letting his hands find his aproned thighs as he sits at the corner of the desk. “Claire was good for you too. But she didn’t… get it. Not like she does,” he gestured vaguely to your station outside the door. “Claire was never gonna get the restaurant and the kitchen and the fuck of it all.”

Richie's hand extends to cup Carmy's shoulder.

“Look, do whatever you want, but there isn’t really someone who matches you like she does. Claire’s history now, drunk phone calls don’t mean she’s still in love with you. If that’s what you were thinking.”

Carmy sits back in the creaky chair. “Nah, not that. I just don’t know how to do it right.”

“It’s not about doing it right,” Richie’s got sincerity in his eyes. “It’s about fuckin’… trying shit. Just go and make a move and see.” Carmy watches you hang up your apron on the hook and grab a hoodie before fucking outside. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks Richie.”

“Good luck.”

- 

“I’m sorry.”

Carmy’s voice takes you out of your trance as you stare into the back alley of the restaurant. “Hi.”

“Can we talk?”

“You can talk, I’ll listen.”

The crackle of his lighter, orange flame against white snow. You can see his breath slipping from between his lips as he exhales out of the corner of your eye.

“I feel like a fuckin’ asshole,” he starts, plunging his other hand in his pocket. “I don’t know what to say.” A beat. “Can you look at me?” It’s gentle, a question, not a demand.

You turn to look at him. Cold blue eyes, darkened by the brightness around you. “You’re not second best to me. You’re it, this is it. I like this, I, I fuckin’,” he takes a breath, “I love… this. I want this.”

“You hurt my feelings, Carmen,” tears brimming your eyes and coating your lashes. “If you’re not done with Claire, I don’t… I don’t care. If I am your second choice, fine.” 

“You’re not.”

“Even if I was. But don’t fuck me around if you don’t want me.”

“I do.”

“Are you sure? You weren’t sure last night.”

“I get it if you don’t trust me. I get it. I haven’t given you a reason to.” He searches for the right words, but chooses to take a tentative step towards you. “I’ll beg for you,” he’s quiet, unlike Carmy. “Anything.”

Your eyes meet his briefly, a soft smile pulling at your lip. “I’m not saying yes, okay?” He nods. “But I am saying I would appreciate a ride home tonight. If you’re serious.”

“I’m serious.”

“Good.”

-

The walk up to your apartment is easy. His heavy steps behind your light ones, hands sliding up the bannister as you unlock your door. He’s on your heels, a little behind. When he steps in your apartment, it’s familiar. Browned butter, vanilla, laundry. 

“Do you want dinner?” He’s tentative, letting his shoes sit next to yours on the mat. His jacket goes up on the hooks by the door, together. 

“Are you offering?”

“Yes.”

Carmy shows love through food, that’s how he always is. You can tell he’s feeling particularly sorry about it all because he’s bringing out a big pasta pot and a saucepan, pulling the only fresh ingredients left in your place and putting them next to the stove top. Your t-shirt finds its way into the laundry basket, an old sweater thrown over your bare skin.

You hate how normal it all feels, because it’s scary. To think of a domestic life with him, where there’s another girl lingering in the background of his thoughts that he has unfinished business with. Insecurities of who is better, prettier, happier, warmer… if he had the chance, would he leave? Would he jump ship?

He sits next to you while you eat, thighs against thighs, and comfortable silence blanketing your small apartment. He hasn’t gotten into one of the many pairs of pyjamas he’s left at your place, or taken his usual after-work shower, or taken out the frozen cookie dough to thaw. You can tell he’s not sure if he’s welcome here for good, yet.

When your food is done, he pushes the plates away and takes a calloused hand to wrap around yours. There’s sharpie marks small knife cuts on his fingers. 

“Are you gonna stay the night?” You ask, still not meeting his gaze. 

“Am I welcome to?” He doesn’t sound like himself, and you can feel his warm breath near the top of your head as you turn towards him. Your body collapses a little then, folding slightly at the middle to have your head fall right into the centre of his chest.

“Yes, Carmen,” you nod, letting your eyes flicker up to meet his. “You can stay for as long as you want.”

His hand slipped from yours then, sliding around your side and up your back. He pulled you into his embrace, lips wrapped around yours in a soft capture. Your hands found their way under his t-shirt, only slightly, his warm skin against the palms of your hands, pulling him impossibly closer. 

And when you lay in bed with him that night, your face burrowed into the softness of his chest, you know the days of waking up alone are over. 

[jade-jini]

STUDENT COUNCIL MEMBER! YUNJIN X LITTLE MENACE READER HEADCANON

Genre: fluff. Childhood best friends, not exactly romantic yet but there’s something there -

Warning: none bro. Reader is lowkey golden retriever puppy coded, don’t blame me-

Had in mind a spicier thing for Chaewon but first I wanted to do my first one about my girlie<3 but I’m still gonna post wonie’s one later. Might want to turn it into a little series of os in the same universe.

-You guys are actually childhood friends.

-Used to play together and go into feral mode, very energetic kids.

-Whenever you guys got hurt during one of your adventures, you would always clean each other’s tears and get a bandage with cute designs. That, plus little kiss in the affected zone and you were as good as new!

-eventually tho, when middle school ended and high school began, Yunjin started to become closer too with other kids (the fimmies) who were rather well mannered, so she eventually toned it down a bit until she became such a model student that they all became the student council.

-I mean she looked happy, and you were happy for her fr, and it’s not like you guys stopped talking. You just missed your partner in crime from time to time tbh. You have feelings too Cmon.

-You’re not actually a bad person, as some might think because of the amount of times you’re sent to detention. (Even some of the big intimidating kids like you and told you if you ever have a problem they’ll beat the sht outta people wheidjfod cute).

-And you’re not trying to create problems for yourself nor others, it’s just your excess of energy sometimes makes you be a little impulsive and don’t stop to use some reasoning.

-Like that time that your friend and you got into a heated and serious argument about the best gummy flavor since they kept saying green and you were like ??? Freakin green when blue and red exist???

-One thing lead to another and you ended up causing a food battle.

-Worth it tho ‘cause you

-1. Got supported by majority and red flavor (PAPA-PALGANMAT) won. And

-2. You got sent to the principal’s office who decided your detention would be in the student council’s office.

-Which meant you could spend some time with Jen and also the rest of the girls.

-GOING BACK TO THEM.

-They do actually like you, specially Eunchae, who was their youngest member.

-She likes how carefree and energetic you are and sees you as one of her role models like the rest of her older friends (even when chaewon tells her not to)

-Chaewon, as the student council president, of course has a liiiittle bit of a love-hate relationship with the cute little menace who can’t seem to get tired of running around school creating chaos nskdndjd. Here here.

-She’s always scolding you.

-And Yunjin too, when she gives in and joins you in your antics.

-She‘s never mean, she does it ‘cause she cares for her best friend’s other best friend and for her school.

-Sometimes tho, she might get a little too intense, and lowkey hurt your feelings without meaning to or realizing.

-But Yunjin and Sakura always remind you is with 0 bad intension, she just gets too much into stucon pres mode.

-Y’all are cool tho.

-now for the actual main topic of this Lmao

-Having a best friend in the student council actually be having its advantages hsjdnckd

-Since you seem unable to stay away from trouble, you often have Yunjin to your rescue.

-whether it is to talk to the professors, or even the principal!

-She always convinces them to not give you heavy punishments that might seriously affect your record.

-And she always gets you out of detention early.

-Except when you stop her from it for two reasons.

-First is ‘cause you’re having fun with the actual bullies in the detention uenrdjfn. Making jokes or talking about stuff you guys like. She just looks at you like “…Are you serious” and everybody just looks at her and shrugs, The Office style.

-And second is when your detention is in the student council office, then you stay there with her.

-Initially she tells you to be quiet and work on your class work ‘cause she has to focus on the papers on her desk.

-But then you start talking to her with the excuse that you need help (bs Ofc)

-Then the classwork questions turn into small talk

-Then that small talk goes into intense talk

-And you guys are just being loud making jokes and just laughing together while throwing paper balls to each other.

-Until Sakura or God forbids Chaewon tells you guys to stop playing around and finish both your work for class/ stucon responsibilities.

-Her mom still adores you. To her, you’re still just that energetic kid who would always bring a big smile into her dear daughter’s face.

-Her dad tho-

-Listen he doesn’t hate you but he doesn’t exactly LIKES you neither anymore bdjdndk

-He’s just protective with his kid and doesn’t want her getting into trouble. He’s never too mean or anything but sometimes (specially when it comes to his ears that you got in trouble again) he might make comments that aren’t exactly nice.

-But Jen’s mom is always there to defend you from her husband tho, and after a short awkward moment, things are ok (for now at least).

-Her uniform always ends up a mess when she lets go of her calmed self and you get a glimpse of her old self.

-It’s still there, and it’s not like she’s pretending to be somebody she’s not. She is who she is.

- “People grow up and change a little, it happens to everybody. Even to you.” She said. And you know it’s true. And you’re ok with it. Getting a little nostalgic about your childhood together is not a bad thing. And again, you guys are still good friends and you love and appreciate each other, even if you grew up to be slightly different (or maybe not) people.

-Seriously if it wasn’t for her who knows where you’d be right now, at juvenile or something. Get yo sht together bro.

[zewik7]

Whats your fat story? like waht made you want to get so big and fat?

Okay buckle up because it’s REALLY effed up as a story.

BE WARNED!! THIS IS A REALLY LONG POST!!

I was JUST 4 years old when, in the solitude of my little bedroom, i played pretend within myself in my toddler crib: i was a little piggy and was destined to be fattened up.

Flash forward: i was 7, i was playing pretend still with that setting, and weighed myself before drinking as much water i could, and weighing myself after that too. I enjoyed seeing the little numbers on the scale go up so fast.

Flash forward: it was early 2000 years, i was 10 and a bit chubby, and the social fashion and new norm was being thin, too thin, so thin you could see ribs. I was regularly called fat, lardass, fatass, even tho i was of normal corporature. I was always angry about this, i didn’t felt fat!

Flash forward: i was 12 and EVERYONE called me fat because i developed early and already had big tits. The rest of my body was thin, i could feel the inter-ribs space with my fingers, but for the culture fo the time i was FAT. I started doing A LOT of sports, like swimming half week and karate the other half week, and that made me bulky, not thin at all. Fat-related bullying intensified at the point that at 13 years old i requested to my mother if i could go to a nutritionist for becoming thinner. She complied, but i got so stressed from the bullying, too much sport and trying on the top of this to be the best in my class, that i actually gained weight… the “wrong” kind of weight. The FAT weight.

I was 14 when i put my fingers on the minimal curve of my belly, the littlest pouch of fat i had when i was like 7 and never again, and pushed and squeezed it. And i loved it. I searched on google, in my mother tongue (italian): “what does it means if i like being fat?”. And it found a single 100ish people forum on BHM and BBW in italian, and i spent a week reading it, watching the SFW photos, i even requested access by registration to the forum.

And THERE. THERE i asked the fundamental question: “everyone i know wants to be thin… but i like being fat. I’d like to be fatter, even. I am wrong? Am i a bad person for feeling like this?”.

And response, gentle and welcoming and kind, was immediately: “no, you’re not a bad person for wanting to decide for your own body in your own way. You’re little for now, but one day you’ll get to choose for yourself what to do about it”.

But i was 14. And any 14yo ever existed believes they know everything in the world.

So i started using my allowance. Normally i’d store it in a box under my bed until i really wanted something (at the time i already spent like 200€ for an ipod touch, but i still had a decent sum remaining), but now i planned and invested my money in my fattening.

I started buying food on the way from home to school and returning, every place selling food knew me by name for the end of the school year. And i packed kgs like my body was so thirsty for them!!

In just two years (2!!) i went from 14 yo per 55 kg (155 cm height) to 16 yo per 115 kg (160 cm height).

I bumped into things with my body because i wasn’t used to being so large! And i was so effing soft!!! I loved it!!!

It was… interesting, from an external point of view, for sure.

My parents couldn’t wrap their minds around HOW i doubled in weight in just two years, for example.

And of course they had to stop me.

They stopped giving me allowance, reprised making me do sports (this time, swimming and modern dance), put me on a strict diet… but I LONGED for that freedom, that big quantities of food and sugary carbonated drinks, even the fatigue and short breath from running briefly… but more than anything… i hated i was losing my physical softness.

In other two years, from 16 to 18, i went from 115 kg to 75 kg.

Then my mother died and she left me some money, so i could go away from home (never loved that other parent too much) in 2015 and start my TRUE gaining.

Since then, I gained more than 125 kg (280 lbs).

[lollipop-helo]

You have found a wild Wakko!!

(⁠✯⁠ᴗ⁠✯⁠)

After AGES, I'm finally posting a lil something ^^

Ya know the drill!! It's....

INFODUMP TIME!!!!!!!!!

More like "random trivia that I know for no reason" time but..

AHEM.

As you all (probably) know, Wakko Warner is one of the main characters of the animated series called animaniacs, along with his sister Dot Warner(Full name Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca III) and his big brother, Yakko warner. But that, my friends, is BORING information that everyone is already tired of hearing and that would probably be the opening of an article about our lil boi, so how about we skip the whole introduction part of this and skip to just silly random goofy facts?

(okay, this is too much suspense to something that you can probably find anywhere on the internet)

1- He can eat LITERALLY anything, BUT It is confirmed that he does not like mayonnaise.

2- In the shows, his siblings always get more attention than him and are always laughing at him, which makes him jealous of them and kinda insecure.

3- According to him, he does not wear pants because his contract allows him to.

4- His and his siblings' family is quite confusing. On Wakko's Wish, they did have parents, who used to be the king and queen of Warner Stock but were killed by the king Salazar. In every other situation besides the movie, tho, they don't have parents, or at least don't know about it or never talked directly about them. On "King Yakko" they DO have a family tree, although that was probably just for the episode to make some sense. They are actors afterall, and the line between canon and not canon in animaniacs is almost non-existent.

5- He is 11! Although he does say he is 7 in the song "Hello Nurse", the directors revealed that he just said that cuz they needed a word to rhyme with "Heaven".

6- He's afraid of clowns.

7- He is hypoglicemic, which might explain his hunger.

8- He is 5% salamander, and can deatach his limbs at any time.

9- In one of the comics, to get into the Noah's ark, he said that his gender was "other", which gave birth to one of the most famous headcanons in the animaniacs community, the "Non binary Wakko Warner" headcanon, which is personally one of my favorites.

10- He is the same height as Buster Bunny.

11- Fans usually associate him with a dog.

And again, as always,

Bye b------

Wait. I think I have a more fitting ending for this post.

GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!!!!