#it does a lot of not great stuff like acts even worse than my like prev six yr old laptop or whatever

[matoitech]

rly unhappy with how much my new laptop sucks i think im gonna have to return it and get a new one which im not psyched about cuz im gonna have to go thru the trouble of transferring and redownloading all my shit but i rly havent had it long enuogh for it to matter that much i guess lol. its been like less than a month i think and basically since i turned it on its had problems that have just gotten worse

[mellowwillowy]

Yan! Boyfriend x GN Reader

—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 , NSFW

Yan! Boyfriend who you thought to be a golden retriever only to have him turn into a Doberman the moment you are away from him.

Yan! Boyfriend who is the "all 5 love language combo" for you and you only!

Act of service? Fun, especially when his head is buried into your crotch. That aside, yes he does all those sweet ass stuffs. Anything you think of, he has done it, even to the very most downbad shit you could think of.

Physical touch? PDA if you are into that, else either a hand around your thigh, squeezing them with love or shit ton of pecks.

Words of affection? 'My love looks so gorgeous as usual! What a refined beauty my love is, no wonder I can't stop falling head over heels for you!' And you were on the bed with bad hair, drooling on your pillow.

Gifting? How many gifts have you received today from him? Starting from something little to something large? The most surprising would be him coming home with a pet for you.

"Ta-daaa! You've been saying you want a pet so I think you will like this!"

Quality time? Not a problem for him. He has a lot of time for you. Hm? Work? Better not question him further about it. All that matters is that it's enough to give the two of you more than enough, even allowing the two of you to laze around. (Unlike Yan! Lawyer Husband and Yan! Antagonist who barely has any time for darling pfft-)

Yan! Boyfriend who is practically on his knees like a dog waiting for his treat when you are about to do something ✨️ r o m a n t i c a l ✨️ on him. Say who's a good boy and you could have sworn you saw his non-existent tail wagging excitedly.

"Who's a good boy hm? Who's a gooood boy??"

"Me! Blue! Blue is a good boy!"

Well, at least he is now because he wasn't when you first met him. He's changed a lot just for you, didn't want to disappoint you the next time you see him.

Yan! Boyfriend is the guy who you can really depend on for everything. Financially? Yes. Wanna beat the fuck out of someone? Call him and that person will have a taste of all the martial arts he has learned back then, not to mention he was quite the delinquent back then. Mentally? Yes. He's always there for you, either making it worse or better.

Yan! Boyfriend who likes to show you off to his friends and co-workers so much as though you are his prized possession. The hand that never leaves your waist and the dagger he shot at the people who stared at you for a bit too long are threatening enough to scare them away. Will definitely have a separate chat with them later,

"The fuck you are looking at my love for hm?"

Ignore how their nose is red and bleeding okay? If only Blue was able to do more, he would have had his fist buried into their face even more and harder like in the good ol' days. Has no choice but to be good else someone might rat to you about his behavior again.

Yan! Boyfriend who really likes to sleep on your lap, being able to feel you this close just makes him feel all giddy like a teenager in love. Would litter kisses and licks if you are not wearing anything that covers your thighs.

Yan! Boyfriend who will almost have the same taste in music as yours because he's just like that. Sucking in everything about you and ends up liking it.

Yan! Boyfriend who will vibe with you nonstop. If you are the crack type person, he will just be as crack as you, making people think whether the two of you are high in crack or not. Will always make you feel like it's okay to do anything you want without having to be embarrassed. Too shy to sing? Well, watch him scream his lungs out (Lemon and Grape chilling with ear muffs) and his hand motioning you tag along.

"BABY WON'T YOU LOOOOVEEE MEEEE"

"What do you say we gag him up with the mic?"

"Great, I'll hold him by the neck."

Yan! Boyfriend who really loves watching you sleep. No, he's not a somnophilic bastard like Yulian. He just adores seeing you resting so peacefully. (while Eleanor panicking over darling sleeping)

Yan! Boyfriend who enjoys cooking breakfast for you. You'll wake up greeted with him standing by the kitchen or sitting by the dining table waiting for you to wake up. Hm? If the food has gone cold because you woke up late, he'll just reheat it. Nothing biggie so no need to feel bad about it ^^

Yan! Boyfriend who is always keeping his mental state in check just in case it cracks open the ugly side of him again. He's embarrassed of it yet he is grateful for it because it brought the two of you to meet. Just staying next to you is enough to keep him sane so try not to stray too far from him okay? He might really snap again and the place you once called home might be nothing but ruins.

"Love you... dear."

Yan! Boyfriend who hates being away from you! If his work suddenly requires him to be somewhere away from you, he will bring you along with him! (I might make a chart of the difference for all the LIfE Pro casts)

"Almost feels like a vacation eh? Let's visit this place once I'm done with work love!"

Although he always brings you along, there are times when he'll have to leave you with Lemon or Grape, either asking them to stay with you or you stay over their place.

"Try not to dent his sport car again yeah? He was yapping at me for hours ahaha! I will ask Grape to watch over you as well, she'll do well as your nanny. Hm? Not a little kid anymore? Oh no no, better be safe than sorry. Don't want those nasty ghosts keeping you awake during the night yeah?"

Afternote:

Blue is my second favorite! Yulian has always been the first so no one sees Blue that much... he's just so sweet... although the story he shares with Eleanor tangles everything up...

[allophonicmess]

Too Sweet

Logan Howlett x fem!Reader

Act 3

Warnings: spoilers for Deadpool & Wolverine

This is a fluff chapter. Gotta give you guys some candy after all that angst

Word count 4.1 K

Life resumed as normal after that. Or as normal as it could be when you are suddenly placed in the new timeline. Logan kept getting confused by little details that were different to the life he had lived before. Professor X ? Sure he exists but he had hair. Cyclops? Oh yeah. He was just as annoying as he remembered. Who are the fucking Avengers and what sort of rich nerd was Tony Stark? And what about Jean?

“A hot red head with the telekinetic powers?” Wade hummed, pretending to be lost in thought. “Uh, no. UNLESS! Charles used to have a beautiful flowing mane that I don’t know about. He is turning grey, you know… but it suits him. Silver fox”              

So Jean was out of the picture. That was good, right?

Logan groaned at Wade's bad joke. He shifted his focus outside, watching the landscape change from looming tall skyscrapers to even fields and trees that started changing colour with the season. It reminded him of home.

“Just to get this straight.” Logan shifted in his seat. The car that Wade had bought from the dealership had been heavily discounted and Logan now understood why. You would think it can’t get worse than the Odyssey? Oh boy, were you wrong. It was too small for 4 people, let alone 2 mutant men. He already felt sorry for whoever might have to sit in the back for whatever reason.

“Y/N has powers?” Logan asked, trying to play it cool. The whole drive had been a big Q&A.

“Yup,” Wade said with a pop. One hand on the steering wheel and the rest of him laid back in his seat.

“They call her Osmium, too?” Logan didn’t like this dependency on the wanna-be hero. But he had to make a good first impression.

“Osmimimum? Uh no. She is called Atom” Wade laughed “Don’t if she actually does stuff with atoms… It's more like…” Wade groaned as he tried to think of an example.

“She manipulates density.” Logan pointed out. They had trained together many times. But Y/n was never allowed to use her full potential with the X-men. They condemned violence and so she was often left out on mission and focused on keeping the school running.

“Ugh- I guess? She once told me in great, boring detail why ‘Atom’ is a bad superhero name for her but they kept it for the marketability. “ He shrugged “Oh! I remember that one time we stopped a child-mutant trafficking and she got mad, like REAL MAD, and then she turned this one guy into goop.” Wade nodded fondly, thinking back at that moment. “And I mean like Nickelodeon kids choice award goop, like slurpable slushy goo, like-“

“Okay, alright! I get it.” Logan groaned in annoyance. Shaking his head at Wade. He was thankful for the man’s support and friendship but god was he annoying. Constantly.

“I wish she would do that to me sometime. It’s on my ways-to-die bingo. But she keeps refusing!” Deadpool hit the wheel dramatically.

“You are disgusting,” Logan stated dryly. “The most disgusting person I ever met.”

“Don’t forget the most annoying!”

...

The decision to go back to teaching was not made out of fun or for the joy of doing it. Maybe partially, even though Logan would not openly confess so. It was made out of necessity. Living with Wade and Al became tiresome after the first few weeks. It was always the same antiques, the lack of schedule as well as a constant state of chaos that made him crave the ordered life at the school once again. He hoped that it would give him a sense of belonging. The X-men might be different here, with a few quips and details that didn’t match with his reality. But living at the school would tie him to a strict schedule and by god, he needed some structure in his life.

 But all in all, it meant home.

“Okay, peanut. Today is a big day. But I know you’ll do great and meet a lot of new friends.” Wade joked in a motherly tone as they arrived at the Mansion. “And no hair pulling or biting unless they ask for it, okay?”

“I can’t wait to be rid of you” Logan groaned as the car came to a halt. He exited the car with a low groan, stretching to lose stiffed muscles. Not having to constantly ride in Wade's joke of a car was another reason that he preferred living at Xavier’s Institution. Speaking off:

“There you are. Welcome, welcome.” Xavier rolled into the mansions yard.

“A pleasure to have you, Logan. I must say, I was very pleasantly surprised when I received your response to my inquiry.” He moved towards Logan, offering his hand for a handshake.

Logan inspected the man. He was older, in his 40s maybe. But younger than the Charles Xavier he had worked with. He sported shaggy longer hair that was starting to thin out. Soon he would need to get it trimmed to keep his professional exterior. Along with a beard that was rather spotty and seemed too reminisce of his look in the 70s. Xavier looked like a mix of the two versions that Logan got to meet during his time at the school and it made him wonder how time worked here. Events seemed to play out in different order, they didn’t happen at all or much later than seemed correct.

He shook Xavier’s hand, thanking him for the offer. “Of course. I was surprised when you contacted me.” Logan confessed. His gaze shifted towards the grand building in front of him. It was the same old English style build that he knew, with a few modern elements added here and there.

“Is it familiar to you? The school? I assume you have experienced quite a few dejá-vus since arriving here.” Charles observed Logan.

“I do. Some things are the same. Others don’t match what I know or didn’t happen at all.” He confessed. Already feeling the brother connection build, similar to the one he had with the other Charles.

“You will find your answers. I am sure of it.” Charles turned around motioning Logan to follow him inside. “I think it is best if we continue this conversation in my office.” He looked over his shoulder at Wade, who had waited in the car, listening in on the conversation.

“Oh, yeah, I’ll be on my way. You call me if you need to get picked up, Pookie!” He waved at Logan in a motherly way.

“You aren’t coming?” He asked, somewhat confused. But then he saw Charle’s face, the intense stare he gave Wade.

“Uhhh, no I technically have a house ban for no apparent reason-“

“You burned down the west wing” Charles answered dryly.

Wade clicked his tongue, “Right, okay. Yeah… But! It’s very modern now.” He chuckled weakly. “You’ll still call me up for a mission, right?” He tried to persuade the professor.

“If the mission takes place outside of my building then yes.” Charles agreed, focusing back on Logan. And leading him inside. Neither of them commented on the cheer that Wade gave as he drove off.

Being back at the school felt surprisingly good to Logan. It was like coming back from a long holiday. Most everything was the same: Students running in the hallways, playing games in the gardens and-

“Fancy seeing you here!”

Logan turned around quickly, looking for whoever addressed him. Some children were buzzing along the halls, none of them too interested in him. Then he spotted her by the stairs. Leaning onto the dark wooden rails of the gallery. The light from the window behind her illuminating her figure.

“Y/n”, he breathed.

“Hi! Charles told me that you wanted to start teaching again.” She made her way downstairs, focus shifting between not falling and keeping her gaze on him. She seemed pleasantly surprised to see him.

He turned more toward her, watching her get closer to ground level. With each step he felt his excitement grow “He contacted me, actually. Asked whether I wanted to work here…”

“Oh really? What a coincidence ”She grinned mischievously, stopping at the end of the stairs and leaning on one of the bannisters. She kept a little space between them. There might be some familiarity between them but she didn’t want to push him too far yet and give him the chance to get closer to her if he felt like it.

But Logan stayed in place: “Do you have anything to do with that?”

She smirked,  and he felt some of his charm return to him . He might be rusty but some things were just engraved in him.

“Maybe” She shrugged, smiling softly with a playful sparkle in her eyes “But I’m assuming that you won’t be teaching history, right?” Y/n teased carefully. The multiverse situation was a thing she wanted to be careful about. Wade had told her a little bit about what had happened to Logan before he transferred but she didn’t know any details.  

“No, I teach PE and defence classes. You do science, right?” He shifted his weight from one leg to the other, hoping to lose the tension in his body. He threw the tidbit of knowledge into the conversation, hoping that he was right and that the two versions of her had that much in common.

“Chemistry and Literature, yeah.” She smiled. She then looked at her watch before pointing towards another corridor with a sigh “I’d love to talk more, but I need to get to class. Maybe we could meet sometime.” She secured the book in her arms.

“Yes.” He answered with a stiff nod, his hands were getting sweaty.

They stood In awkward silence.

“Maybe over a coffee?” She asked, looking up at him, her lip curled upwards. Her look became more expecting as he watched her in silence.

 He would catch the bait she just threw, right? Scott had laughed when she asked him about what Logan had been like; What this version might be like.

 ‘He’s an asshole’ He said ‘a cocky asshole and who thinks he can charm any girl he likes’ she blushed at that comment ‘But he is into the dark, mysterious type if that is what you are after’

“Maybe”, Logan gave  cold and curtly.

He regretted his demeanor when he saw her smile slip for just a moment.

Fuck.

Her face slipped for a moment “Oh.. okay.” She huffed softly. “See you around then.” Y/n nodded quickly before running off.

...

A routine established itself after the first weeks back at the school. The work there itself was the same. Teach the children standard curricula, training them in controlling their powers and some extracurricular activities.

He would spend some evenings with the other members of Team X ,as they called themselves here. Sometimes he would meet Y/n in the hallway but he didn’t work up the courage to stop and talk to her beyond a quick ‘hello’.

What is wrong with you? You used to sweep women off their feet. She is offering herself to you at any chance and you still can’t manage to ask her out?

He sighed as he changed back into his regular clothes. The class had just ended. It was Friday, still fairly warm for October and the trees looked beautiful in all shades of red, orange and yellow.

 Would be perfect for a romantic walk… A charming, rugged man could ask a woman out for that.

“That guy died a long time ago…” He mumbled to himself. Picking up his bag and closing the locker.

He exited the gym, making his way to his room or rather apartment. Wade managed to burn down the teacher's quarters along with the kitchens and cafeteria in some wicked stunt. No one knew what happened and that was for the best, he guessed.

However, that incident resulted in a modernized reconstruction with more spacious rooms for the teachers and a communal cafeteria that students and members of Team X shared.  Great for extroverts but Logan had to pass it every time he went to his rooms, much to his dismay. To make it worse,  the communal space was separate from the hall via a glass wall, allowing for a perfect view of everyone who tried to sneak past. Which led to uncomfortable situations such as this.

“Logan!” Piotr called, waving his huge metallic arm to get the other man's attention. Logan's initial reaction was to ignore him as he had done many times with the members of his old team.

No, he wanted to do better. He needed to. It was that kind of behavior that made him spiral in the first place. So he took a deep breath and channeled all jolliness available to him after 6 hours of teaching and a generally low level of it to begin with.  He slowly made his way towards the teacher's table.

“Come, eat with us.” Piotr offered him the seat next to him on the thick wooden bench. A seat opposite of… fuck- of fucking course he was in on Wade’s plan to play matchmaker.

 “We can’t have you get scrawny, eh?” he joked.

“Not that that would be likely to occur” Y/n joked as Logan sat down. His look snapped towards her and her eyes widened in shock at what had just come out of her mouth.

A knowing, wicked grin spread across Colossus's face. That fucking asshole…

“What are we having?” Logan asked, ignoring the situation that had just occurred. He tried to keep his gaze on Piotr who was busy filling a plate with whatever was in the big metal pot on the side of the table. His eyes shifted to Y/n every so often.

“Pierogi. I am trying out new recipes for a cooking class with my students” He said proudly, placing the plate in front of Logan “Y/n said, they are very good. Right?” He asked her, putting the woman on the spot.

“Oh, uhm…yeah. I like the new… stuffing.” She said, the answer sounding more like a question, carefully looking at Logan when he tried it. She was thankful for Piotr’s brotherly demeanor and gentle nature. Yet sometimes he would tease her as any older brother liked to do. And they sure liked to do it in front of people that the younger sibling might fancy.

Logan nodded in agreement, complimenting the man for his cooking.

“You cook here regularly?” He asked with a mouthful.

“Of course! Cooking is a very important life skill. As well as baking. You should join one of Y/n’s baking classes, she is very talented.” Colossus complimented the woman, making her grin.

“I plan on holding a workshop on the weekend for older students and alumni. You should come.” She offered, a hopeful look in her eyes. Maybe she was too discrete the last time she tried to get Logan to ask her out. So this time she tried to be more direct with her offer.

“I don’t bake,” Logan answered in a backhanded comment as he continued to eat. He didn’t think too much about it. He had planned to ask her out after lunch. He was overly focused on what he would say to her once the others left to notice how he had sounded.

It only occurred to him when he saw how Y/n visibly deflated. “Oh, right” She hummed, swallowing another bite of her food, eyes looking anywhere but towards the man who had once again rejected her so swiftly.

Piotr, just sighed with disappointment, leaning back in his chair. His hard elbow bumped into Logan’s side.

You fucked it up. Again.

...

“Okay, stop. You mean to tell me that she tried to ask you out not once but TWICE and you rejected her?” Wade paced through the living room. Trying to make sense of what his friend had just told him. “You mean to tell me that you now spend 3 months at that school? Being in her proximity 24/7 and actively avoiding her?”

Logan sat on the familiar black couch that looked even more beaten up than the last time he was at the flat. With disgust, he realized that he didn’t even want to know what caused the new damage.

 “I don’t avoid her”

“Oh no? And yet the few times she does catch you creeping in the halls you manage to scare her off.” Deadpool said down one of the rotatable bar chairs. Swirling dramatically.

“No wonder the girl’s not interested in a sad drunk fuck like you,” Al commented from the table where she sat, carefully packaging her newest acquisition of sellable goods.

“ No, Al that’s the thing! The girl wants him DESPITE being a sad drunk fuck!”  Wade jumped from the chair to pace around some more. He had to come up with a plan to get the two to spend time together, and get to know each other better. Create some closeness to let the sparks fly and catch on.

“That’s even worse.” Al laughed, snoring.

“Thank you for the compliments… Reassuring.” Logan groaned, regretting to even have answered Wade when he asked him about how things were going with Y/n. Maybe he wasn’t ready to be with someone again. He liked her and wanted to get to know her but something was stopping him. The urge to protect her from danger and he still thought of himself as the greatest danger to her and his team.

“On the other hand, she is still interested after being rejected TWICE. So you still have a chance, Pookie.” Wade said, sitting down next to Logan, yet again way too close.

“I’m gonna help you, buddy, Don’t you worry.” He leaned in closer, his lips brushing Logan's ears “Act three needs some lovin’ and I make sure you get all the loving you need, baby” He whispered towards Logan. And with dread, and a bit of disgust,  Logan accepted that he had no chance of stopping the man.

...

By the time the midterms rolled around, Logan had gotten familiar with the schedule and his  profession once again. He slept better, tended to snap less at people and even his drinking tendencies seemed to get better. Being part of a community felt good and it made him angry at his younger self for rejecting the people who loved him out of some ill-placed ideology: that to keep them safe, he had to distance himself from them.

And yet you are doing it again.

He sighed as he trotted into the community kitchen. He broke his coffee maker in a fit of frustration last week and hadn’t found the time or energy to tell Charles to get a new one. He stayed out of the professor's way for the most part, not wanting to be roped into some conversation about ‘needing therapy’. So he sourced his caffeine intake from the machine that sat in the big, homely department kitchen. Another benefit was that there was always a fresh pot ready and waiting for him. Downside, there were almost always people in the kitchen, waiting for others to join in for conversation and breakfast.

This morning he should be safe from conversation. Most students and some staff went home for the fall semester break, leaving the school running on a minimal level to accommodate those who had no home to go to. There were no classes, meaning that the school apparatus calmed to a halt.

In practice that meant that almost everyone slept in with no pressure to get up early. And for Logan, that meant that he could enjoy his drink in peace before people tried to talk to him.

Lost in thought he strolled into the kitchen. It seemed empty, thank god. He sighed in relief, stretching languidly. The air exiting his lungs in a low groan.

Then a soft click sounded through the room.

A fridge being closed.

“Oh hey, you’re up early.” Y/n appeared behind the full-size fridge door that had previously shielded her from his view. She looked a little tired, not yet fully awake and a bit tousled from sleep.

Aww C’mon. Maybe Wade was right about the universe wanting them to come together. But primarily to annoy him and allow for Wade to give him the ‘I told you so’ speech.

“So are you.”  He answered, leaving on the door frame and watching her pour some creamer into her cup. Upon closer inspection, she did look younger than her other iteration. Her features were softer looking with fewer wrinkles and scars. He needed to ask her about that at some point.

She leaned onto the counter to reach for another cup, taking it out of the overhead cabinet. Proceeding to pour some coffee in it. “How do you take your coffee?” She asked, turning towards him.

“I’ll take two sugars” He answered, moving towards her with slow even steps. The threat of Wade’s ‘help’ kept looming in the back of his mind, pushing him to be more open towards her and to come out of his shell. Who knows what that maniac had in mind?

Y/n hummed in agreement, dropping in two cubes of sugar and stirring the dark liquid before handing it to Logan.

He thanked her softly, holding the porcelain with his much larger hands. He had moved quite close to her, both leaning against the kitchen counter. The closeness and difference in height between them meant that Y/n had to look up to him, to make eye contact.

With a grin he noticed how she shifted her stand, one hand bunching up the material of her cardigan.

You still got it if you let it happen, man.

They stood in comfortable silence for a moment, enjoying their drinks and watching the sun paint pictures onto the kitchen surfaces, colored by the stained glass windows.

She was the one who broke the silence. “Are you ready for the training session today?” She asked, turning towards him, shifting her position so that her hip was pressed against the counter.

“Training?” He asked confused, setting down his cup to cross his arms over his chest, the muscles shifting visibly under his skin.

That’s right! Show her what you got!

“Yes, staff training? We got the call from Washington about a mutant security threat. Charles wants us to be ready just in case. Do you read your emails?” She teased, watching him over the rim of her mug.

“I don’t know how that stuff works if I’m honest with ya.” He shrugged “Do you go on missions regularly? On Government orders?” He remembered that Xavier had mentioned something along the lines of that. Some complicated struggles between heroes about government regulation and so on.

“Yes, after the blip it was decided that an X-team force should be established to take care of mutant-related threats or endangerments.” She explained.

He had heard of that, too. “Right. What was that blip again?”

The energy in the room shifted suddenly.

Y/n huffed, almost spilling a bit of her drink. “Ha, that’s a bit of a heavy topic for morning coffee talks.” She looked around uncomfortably. Logan seems to have hit upon a heavy subject.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He apologized quickly. Beating himself up for screwing it up once again.

“No, no it’s fine.” She shook her head, setting down her drink to cross her arms as he did. Only that she seemed to do it defensively. “Half of all life stopped existing for five years and… that left a few scars.” She explained somberly, softly nodding to herself.

Logan blinked, his mind moving at high speed to get the conversation on a good topic again. Anything to turn it around and to prevent her from having a bitter aftertaste to their first proper talk.

Yet it was her, once again, that stepped up. She noticed how he got nervous, eyes wandering, shoulders sagging.

“I’ll explain it to you later. When we are not so pressed on time.” She reached out slowly, placing her hand on his arm, squeezing it in reassurance. Y/n smiled at him softly, moving around him to exit the kitchen and prepare for the day ahead.

Without thinking Logan placed a hand over hers, just in time before she pulled hers away. It had her stop in her tracks. Her eyes moved to where his rough callused palm warmed the back of her hand, up to his eyes. He was watching her with intention.

She was nervous. This was either going to be an invitation to finally get to know him or he had enough of her and told her to stop fancying him.

“You can explain it to me on a walk to the lake? Tonight?” He asked, one eyebrow raising in question. His hand squeezed hers gently.

A second of silence followed.

She exhaled, the stress leaving her body but she had to keep her composure. A grin spread across her face “Sounds like a plan.” She held eye contact for a few beats, then let her hand slip out of his hold as she left.

That’s how you do it, Tiger!

Her lips pressed together to keep from smiling too hard as she exited the hallway.

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I hope I got everyone on the taglist. Write to me if I missed you.

New requets for being added to the list via comments on the Masterlist post, please. That helps me to keep things organized :)

But please leave a comment on this post to provide me with serotonin 😍

[themattgirl]

could you please make one where Chris and reader are dating and reader feels sick and Chris just takes care of her and acts all sweet and stuff? 🫠

an: thank you for the request ily 🧡

this turned out so much longer than i intended

this isn’t my first one shot but it’s the first with one of the sturniolo triplets in it. 

obviously their characters have been altered by me a little to fit into the story but i tried to make it as realistic as possible by keeping their personality traits as they are in real life.

also comment or like this post if you want to be added to the taglist

pairing: chris x fem!reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: fluff, use of ‘babe’ and ‘ma’ as pet names for reader, intentional wrong spelling in text messages to make it more realistic, mentions of nsfw themes, swearing, lots of playful teasing between characters

y/n’s dialogue�� 

chris’ dialogue

matt’s dialogue

nick’s dialogue

mary lou’s dialogue

“it’s just a cold, nothing serious i promise. i don’t think i can come over today though, i don’t wanna infect any of you. i’m sorry for ruining movie night,” i say to chris on facetime before breaking into a cough. i turn the camera away from me, not wanting him to see me in a disgusting state like this. if i could, i would’ve muted myself so he doesn’t have to listen to it either. plus, i know how worried he gets with any type of sickness or unwell feeling really.

so, of course it wouldn’t be chris if he didn’t immediately furrow his brows.

“babe no, don’t apologize. you didn’t choose to get sick.”

he gets up from where he was sitting on the couch and goes downstairs to his bedroom. he puts the phone down so all i can see now is his ceiling. his voice sounds a little farther away when he speaks again, “it doesn’t really sound like nothing serious, does anything hurt?”

“to be honest, my whole body has been aching since i woke up this morning. it’s not too bad, just a dull ache, i can still move and all that, even if i’d prefer to just lay here and rot away,” i laugh and hold back the cough that wants to escape right after in hopes it would make him worry a little less. vainly.

“your voice sounds stuffy and kinda hoarse, does your throat hurt?”

“i forgot you turn into a doctor every time somebody doesn’t feel great,” i roll my eyes even though he can’t see it with his phone still down and him on the other side of the room from how distant his voice sounds.

“shut up, y/n. you feel worse than ‘not great’. you’re not fooling anyone with that act.”

he reappears on the screen. now i can see what he has been doing in the time i couldn’t see him. he put on a hoodie over the tank top he had been wearing before, the hair he had put up in a little ponytail - if you could even call it that - in the front has been untied and brushed. or maybe he just ran his fingers through his hair a couple of times, that’d be more like it.

“anyways baby, imma call mom real quick. be right back,” he hangs up before i get the chance to respond.

i put the phone down next to me on the bed i’ve been in since i realized this morning how much it hurt to stand up and how i felt like i was gonna throw up every time i moved too hastily.

i took a deep breath - well, as deep as a breath can get when your nose is clogged - and closed my eyes to try and concentrate on something other than the throbbing pain in my head.

i feel so much worse than how i described it to chris and i feel bad for kind of lying to him, i do. but he has been dealing with so much of his own lately - new designs for his brand, fixing the shipping issues with some of the orders from his last drop, coming up with video ideas and prefilming those before him, nick and matt go on tour again, preparing everything for said tour - see, he really doesn’t need me to add to his things-to-worry-about-list, especially if he can’t do anything to fix it and it’ll go away on its own anyway.

i feel my phone’s vibration from somewhere in between the sheets and grab it. it's messages from nick.

hey y/n heard your not feeling so good (:/ smiley) i was really excited to see you again today but don’t you dare feel guilty for it

i know how you guilt trip yourself into thinking everything is your fault

its kind of a good thing bc now i have time to get the matching pjs we wanted

hope you feel better soon tho

matts sick too maybe you got it from him when you helped him decorate his room yesterday

I hey y/n heard your not feeling so good 😕 i was really excited to see you again today but don’t you dare feel guilty for it

word spreads faaast 😂 i’m so sad i gotta wait another week or so to see you again i only like sleepovers cuz of u but dont tell chris 🤫

I i know how you guilt trip yourself into thinking everything is your fault

seriously i hate that yk me so well 😐

I its kind of a good thing bc now i have time to get the matching pjs we wanted

at first i was like 🤨 but then i kept reading i LOVE YOUU SO MUCH OMG just so yk chris was the second option

I hope you feel better soon tho

me too now i’m excited for the pajamaaas 😫

I matts sick too maybe you got it from him when you helped him decorate his room yesterday 🤔

i’m gonna kill him like fr this time

hey where tf is chris??

talking to mom shes teaching him sth honestly don’t ask idk

ok 😂 i think im gonna take a nap talk later?

yess get some rest and lmk if you need anything ❤️

ly❤️❤️

after sending the last message i get a call from matt. i contemplate not picking up for a second but decide against it.

“what?”

“uff, what’s that attitude?”

“i’m sick because of you, shithead.”

“we don’t know that. what if you’re the one who passed it on to me, hm? besides, i was just calling to tell you to drink some water and to ask if you need anything. i was actually being nice but you clearly don’t deserve it,” his voice is just as bad as mine, if not worse which makes me feel a little bad, but matt wouldn’t be one of my best friends if i had to worry about him getting mad every time i’m not nice. that’s actually how we bonded after annoying each other every chance we got. we both have a bit of an attitude problem which caused a lot of irritation and aggravation. now we get along better than any pair of best friends. the teasing stayed in place, but now we both know there’s only endless love behind it. sometimes you just gotta let off a bit of steam and we both just get that.

“fine, i’m sorry. sickness really does turn you soft, huh?” i smirk.

“why’re you saying it like you just confirmed a theory?”

“mary lou told me once and i’ve been waiting ever since to see for myself, guess she was right.”

“you are actually the worst. i’m hanging up now. drink water, bye.”

he hangs up the phone and i laugh to myself. what a big baby.

i open chris’ chat and type in a message telling him i’m going to sleep and that i will call him once i wake up again. i don’t bother waiting for a reply and just put the phone on my nightstand. i turn on my side, close my eyes and after that i don’t notice anything anymore.

i jolt up from bed, breathing heavy, body sweaty and heart racing. my room is dark, lit up only by the moon shining through my window. i look around trying to remember where i am and shake the nightmare from my mind.

i reach for my phone and check the time.

11:43 pm

i turn on the flashlight and right when i notice a black jacket hung over the back of my desk chair i hear footsteps coming closer.

chris pushes the door open and steps in.

“oh shit, did i wake you?”

“no i had a nightmare. what are doing here?”

i sit upright in bed and turn the flashlight off when chris flips the switch to turn on the fairy lights around the edges of my ceiling.

he moves to sit on the bed next to me before he answers, “i had mom teach me how to make her get-well-quick-soup and brought you some. she also told me about the perfect remedy tea, i can make it for you,” he stands up again immediately, “i’ll heat up the soup for you first. shit ma, have you even eaten anything today?” he stands by the door, holding the handle but looking back over his shoulder at me.

“chris,” i honestly don’t know what to say to him. he is so sweet i have to fight the tears that build up on my waterline. i just look at him for a moment, a little smile ghosting on my lips.

i’m well aware of how caring, considerate and compassionate chris is as a person in general, but it still baffles me sometimes how much he goes out of his way to make others feel good. i guess i’m just not used to it, being loved like this, having someone do everything that lies in their hands - and beyond that - just for me. it’s astonishing to say the least. especially when i myself have had issues with showing how deeply i cherish somebody ever since i can remember. it’s probably rooted somewhere in my past and how my affection has been received and responded to, that’s what my therapist says anyway.

i shake myself out of my thoughts and move the blanket away from my body to finally get up. immediately chris is beside me, holding me in place, “what’re you doing, ma? stay here i’ll bring it up,” he talks quietly, trying to get me to take in my previous lying position but i stay put on the ground.

“babe, i have been in this bed almost all day. i need to get up. i’ll just come down with you, we can eat together in the kitchen,” i try to convince him.

he looks at me, an uncertain expression on his face for a few seconds, the gears in his head almost visibly turning while he thinks about it. at last he lets out a sigh and nods, “alright then, hop on my back,” he bends over in a piggy back position in front of me and i can’t help the laugh that escapes me.

“you do know i can walk, right?” i ask still chuckling.

“i know, come ooon, just do it,” he urges me on and wiggles his hips, making me laugh even harder when i climb on his back.

“you’re gonna be so sick tomorrow, chris,” i complain mournfully once he lets me down to sit on the kitchen counter while he gets to heating up the soup he brought.

chris insists he’s not prone to catch a cold or any sickness easily, no matter how contagious or how close to the source he might be, even though he has proven himself wrong multiple times on more occasions than he cares to admit.

“no i won’t. besides, i could use a few days off even if i have to be sick to get that,” he lets out a huff of air trying to make it sound humorous, but both of us - and everyone who knows chris for that matter - knows that he is exhausted and is in desperate need of a break.

i know he doesn’t want me to get serious about that topic right now though so i try to change routes, “oh my god,” he turns around from where he was stirring the soup on the stove and faces me, confused about my shocked exclamation. i point an accusatory finger at him, my jaw hanging low but a smile still creeping it’s way on my face.

“so that’s why you’re here. you came to try and get infected, that’s why you carried me down too even though you know damn well i coulda walked by myself. and i’m here thinking you were actually being the best boyfriend on earth. turns out my man is a piece of shit,” by the end i fail to stay serious and let out a giggle. well, it’s not like he actually believed that i meant what i was saying but still.

he lets go of everything he was holding, turns around to me fully and begins to stalk toward me slowly.

“oh yeah?” i don’t know if it’s just me or if he’s doing it on purpose but all of a sudden his voice sounds deeper, his face more stern and serious.

“is that what you think then? i’m just a piece of shit?” he makes me nervous at first but the second i see the smirk on his lips i know exactly what’s about to follow.

“chris. no.”

he is standing right in front of me, so close he has positioned himself in between my legs, his hands on the counter on either side of me, trapping me. the finger i was pointing at him long since taken back.

“am i a piece of shit when i make you cum with just my tongue?” his face is so close now.

“stop,” i say quieter than i mean to, almost whisper-like.

“or when i fuck you so good you can’t walk right for days, am i a piece of shit then?”

this asshole is doing it on purpose. he knows i would never have sex with him when i’m sick so he’s trying to rile me up the little fucker. have i mentioned that i actually hate him. like for real hate him. the type of hate that leads to an absolutely mindblowing fuck. shit.

“or yesterday when you told matt you needed a break and came downstairs to my room to suck me off and then you just wiped your mouth and went back up like nothing happened. did you do it because i’m a piece of shit?”

my jaw is on the floor.

“or when–”

“OKAY,” i practically scream, “you’re the best and i didn’t mean what i said, just please stop.”

i’m almost whining at this point.

i try to rub my legs together to ease some of the friction unnoticeably but chris is like a hawk, sees everything, notices everything. and then he smiles. just smiles and goes back to the soup.

later that night, after i was forced to eat almost all of the soup and drink two cups of magic tea while chris downed a cheese burger, fries and three of the last four pepsi cans i had in my fridge, we snuggled up on the couch with a heavy blanket that chris had also asked his mom for, thrown over both of our laps and a random movie playing on the tv. 

neither one of us actually felt like watching something but we threw it on as background noise anyway. chris and i have barely seen each other in almost two weeks so all we want right now is to enjoy each other's company. he has been so busy with all that’s coming up for him and his brothers, still is. and i've been studying like crazy because i always feel like i won’t pass if i don’t and when i wasn’t busy with that i’d be at work to earn my living and feel like i’m doing enough. so there wasn't really time for us to actually be together and get to enjoy it. i've missed it.

“you know you’re probably sick because you exhaust yourself all the time,” chris says when he turns to look at me.

“shh,” i shush him with my eyes closed and a smile on my lips, “i got it from matt, no discussion.”

he lets out a little laugh at that, “yes discussion. if you keep going like that, one day it’s gonna have more serious effects on your health than a cold. you don’t even need to do all that. how many times do i have to tell you your life is worth enough even if you don’t work yourself half to death and have a little fun every once in a while,” he rubs my thigh while talking. chris knows better than anyone that i don’t like being put on the spot and lectured about my not-so-healthy habits like that, especially when i know exactly that it’s in fact very unhealthy. but he also insists on having these talks with me because he knows i would shut out everyone else who’d dare to try immediately. he and his brothers are the only three people i have let come so close and they make use of that quite often, might i say. but it’s okay because these people are my best friends and i know i need to be put in check sometimes, i admit. nobody else would dare try but them so i just let them. 

i must say, it has helped me improve my life to an extent. they taught me that it’s okay to cut ties with people who are bad for my mental health and encourage bad habits, and that i don’t owe shit to them even if they want to make me believe that. they kept telling me “quality friends are worth so much more than a big amount of bad ones” until it finally clicked in my brain and i blocked half of my contact list.

“look who’s talkin’. mister i work twice as hard as the person i try to lecture,” i jab my finger in his side and he jerks.

“you know that’s different,” he holds my hands in his to stop me from doing it again.

i like feeling his hands on mine. i know he’s my boyfriend and it might be weird to say it like that. but i haven’t seen him in so long, which means i also haven’t felt him in so long. it’s crazy but it almost feels like in the beginning when we were scared to touch each other and would act like we accidentally brushed our hand on the other but we both knew it was fully on purpose.

chris pulls me out of my thoughts again when he speaks, “at least i have an end in sight and work’s gonna be way more relaxed once i’m done with everything. with you there’s always–”

the ringing of his phone cuts him off and he takes a look at the caller id, his mom. he narrows his eyes at me and gives me a look that says “we’re not done yet” but picks up the phone and holds it up so she can see the both of us on the screen.

“i was going to ask chris about you but since you’re with him please pinch him for me,” is the first thing mary lou says when she looks at us. and i gladly do as she says even though i don't know what he did to deserve it.

“oww, what was that for?” chris asks whining and i just shrug and chuckle.

“you told me you would bring y/n the soup and go back home. you lied to me.”

i turn to him with my mouth hanging open, “christopher owen, how dare you?”

it’s so fun to aggravate chris.

he furrows his brows at me and then looks back at the screen, “she literally begged me,” he straight up lies. “i was trying to tell her i didn’t wanna get sick so i could only drop off the soup and blanket and would have to leave again but then she started crying–”

i hit him for real this time, hard enough to make him suck air through his teeth.

“mary lou, don’t believe a word he says.”

“i know, darling, you wouldn’t do that. chris, that’s twice you’ve lied today.”

“sorry, mom,” he actually looks defeated now, “you know i can’t just leave her all alone when she’s like this. i lied because i didn’t wanna worry you. i won’t get sick though,” at that me and her give each other a knowing look but let him continue, “y/n’s weak and in pain, of course i’ll be by her side as much as i can, you probably knew i was here, that’s why you called me,” chris wiggles his finger at his mom with a cheeky smile while she’s trying to hide her own.

“alright, alright,” she gives in, “that’s how young love is, i guess. anyway, have you eaten the soup yet?”

“almost all of it,” i report proudly, rubbing my stomach.

“only forced,” chris side-eyes me and i roll my eyes at him.

“and the tea?” mary lou just keeps going. well, i definitely know where her son gets the caring from.

i grab the mug that’s been sitting on the table for two hours and could now be considered iced tea and hold it up for her to see, “this is my third,” i take a sip.

“very good. okay, well, i just wanted to check if chris is taking good care of you. it’s important for you to get enough rest, don’t go to sleep too late, alright darling? i have to go now but if you need something just give me a call. i’ll talk to you both in the morning. good night, i love you,” she blows two kisses as we tell her we love her and then she ends the call.

right when chris puts his phone down we hear the doorbell ring.

we both glance at the direction of the front door as if we could see through it and figure out who’s standing on the other side. then we turn and look at each other.

“expecting someone?” chris asks me and i just shake my head no and shrug unknowingly.

“open up!” the voice sounds muffled but it’s unmistakably matt.

chris rolls his eyes and sighs loudly and i just giggle.

he moves the blanket and gets up to go open the door but stops in his tracks suddenly, turns around again, bends down and kisses me.

“won’t be able to do that for a while if he’s here,” he explains before he goes.

matt and nick do complain every time we kiss in front of them, so we agreed on trying not to do it anymore. they act like little kids being forced to see their parents being all lovey-dovey with each other. at least one of them always yells “GET A ROOM!” as if they’re not invading our personal space. big babies, like i said.

“what’s up, bitches?” nick walks in wearing the pajamas we wanted to match, holding up his hands. one holding what i assume is my set of the exact same one and a pillow in his other hand.

i jump up from the couch immediately and squeal as i run toward him to hug him.

“what are you doing here?” i ask once we let go of each other, our smiles still as big as ever.

“since chris is here breathing in germs and this one,” he points his thumb over his shoulder where matt is giving chris a pajama pair, “is already sick i thought we might as well have our movie night here since i’m getting it from one of you either way.”

“i’m so happy,” i squeak, elongating the words.

“aren’t you happy to see me too?” matt acts sad and offended when he moves to stand next to nick.

i roll my eyes but give him a big hug, “i am actually.”

chris scoffs and we all laugh. he moves to stand closer to me and i wrap my arms around him, tilting my head to look at him.

“you guys can go in the kitchen, grab some snacks while me and chris put on our pajamas,” i say to nick and matt, my eyes still locked on my boyfriend.

they do as they’re told once the’ve put down their things and soon enough they’re out of sight.

“you good?” chris asks me quietly, stroking my hair gently

“yeah. i just realized our alone time is over,” i respond in a hushed tone.

he gives me a kiss on the forehead before he talks, “it’s okay, we’ll just go up to your room when they’re asleep. nothing’s keeping me away from you tonight.”

hearing it makes comfort spread in my chest in a way i didn’t know i needed right now.

“i love you so much, chris. thank you for everything,” i try to sound genuine, because i truly am.

he holds my chin between his thumb and forefinger and dips his head until his lips meet mine.

“i love you too, ma.”

taglist:

@strniolosworld @that-general-simp @sturniolosreads @whoreforchr1s

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - In Which None of You Should be Surprised by a MAJOR Upset in the Standings

Sorry this is so late. I had a pretty epic series of delays landing me at NRT for like 18 hours or something ridiculous. To be fair there are much worse airports to be stranded at.

Organized, in each category, with ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

June 2024 Week 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

The Rebound (Weds Gaga) ep 1 of 12 - Fuck all ya'all if you thought I had taste. MeenPing are topping this damn list because... have you any idea how LONG I have been waiting for a real sports centered BL starring at least one boy who actually played the flipping sport? My whole damn life. You ready for me to go into euphoric splooges all over your screens? I don't think you are. SUFFER! And now some splooging:

It’s off to a great start. Thank you, Rebound, for being exactly what I wanted. By which I mean Meen has his shirt off literally in the first two minutes of the show. Also it’s a bit of a childhood sweethearts reunion romance. There’s nothing wrong with this beginning. Fantastic. For a change, I even enjoy the intro music. Golf is directing MeenPing this time, so maybe something magical will happen. Frank is aging so pretty!!! How nice for all of us. Even the bb play is good. It’s a proper sports BL. I’m so damn happy right now. 

Wandee Goodday (Sat YT) ep 9 of 12 - I’m so tired of Ter, but everything else was lovely. Also they are SUCH boyfriends. 

Sunset X Vibes (Sat iQIYI) ep 3 of 12 - They are so cute in these roles. I don’t know why, I just like their vibe better here than in the previous show. (And I really enjoyed Big Dragon at the start.) This show is a lot more classic romance and kind of pat because of that. I do hope the ingénue character gets some kind of additional development and talent. But even if it stays mundane, these two have the chemistry to carry it. So I suspect I’ll keep enjoying it regardless. I am mildly intrigued by the spice of the PNR element, so I hope they run with that a bit more. I suspect they will have to, to extend the plot for 12 eps.

My Stand-In (Fri iQIYI) ep 10 of 12 - Ah Ming... famous last words. This one just makes me sigh a lot and whimper sadly. I don’t know where they’re going with this plot or how they’re gonna resolve it. Joe finally being the asshole Ming deserves is a lot of fun though (double entendre intended). I’m scared but it did make me cry... a lot. (That's fine, I'm a sap.)  

Imma say this because no one else has. Wardrobe is unilaterally terrible in this show. I mean Thailand is notoriously bad in general but this show, nash.

We Are Cute (Weds iQIYI) ep 13 of 16 - They are so fucking adorable. And so flirty! Also a crying kiss? My favorite! Chain’s little moment of "Cupid shoot thyself" was epic. ("Physician heal thyself" but for the BL world?) Honestly, I could watch a whole show about these two...

The Trainee (Sun YouTube) ep 1 of 12 - How does Gun still look like he’s just out of high school? Madness. Does the set for the print shop that he’s working in at the beginning remind anybody else of Mork’s dad’s place in ‘Cause He’s My Boy? I swear GMMTV has about 3 sets they rotate through.

To be brutally honest, I was not looking forward to the show at all. No idea why. OffGun aren’t my most favorite OG pair, but I respect them for their longevity, optics, acting shops, and enduring brand. Maybe I just needed more of a gap from Cooking Crush?

Whatever, I was absolutely riveted by this first episode. I’m enjoying The Trainee a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

My Love Mix-Up Th (Fri YT) ep 4 of 12 - This version did the "clear up of the inciting miscommunication" in such a sweet achey way. Frankly that "ache of first love" really plays to G4's strengths as a pair. This was a good ep and I’m now starting to enjoy this one for its own sake and get some distance from the JBL version. It's just there is A LOT of good stuff coming out of Thailand right now.

Love Sea (Sun iQIYI) ep 3 of 10 - I was inspired to write a Shakespearean style sonnet in this week's trash watch. Mame seems to believe that no character can have depth without suffering. And I found this episode both boring and rushed at the same time. Trash watch here. (This week's trash watch also VERY delayed.)

Knock Knock Boys (Thurs Gaga) ep 6 of 12 - It’s eminently missable... so I missed it this week in order to get this weekly update out. Next week will be a two in one. 

Only Boo! (Sun YT) ep 12fin - Okay, that’s it, I guess?

Summary:

An idol romance about a sunshine boy who dances good and wants to be a star and a reserved food stand vendor. Other side of the tracks, grumpy/sunshine pair who fall in love but, of course, to be an idol baby boy can't date. It wasn’t particularly bad, it wasn’t particularly good either. 7/10

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

I Hear the Sunspot AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan Weds Gaga) Ep 1 of 10 - A new series adaptation of beloved yaoi I Hear the Sunspot (first adaptation was feature film Silhouette of Your Voice 2017).

I expected the soundscapes in this one to be fantastic, but I didn’t expect the filming to be something special too. But it really is. I’m not gonna lie, I'm nervous about this show because I love the manga and was disappointed by the film, but we were off to a really good start. First names already? So cute. I love them.

Takara's Treasure AKA Takara No Vidro (Japan Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Shy awkward Taishin goes to a Tokyo university in order to reunite with Takara, a stranger who consoled him over the loss of a parrot the year prior. He finally gets a chance to express his gratitude but is given the cold shoulder. (My thoughts this weekend's round up)

I can't believe Japan is holding it down for the non Thai BL. I mean to say.... JAPAN!!! What alt reality are we living in? It being Japan, I'm scared of the ending.

It's airing but...

Blue Boys is still going on and I'm still enjoying it (despite the cheating) but I don't know when it drops or where it's going, so I will report in at the end. When they tell me it's ended.

The Last Time (Thai Fri YT?) - Convoluted story of loss and possible reincarnation or something. Can't find it.

OMG Vampire (Thai Sun ???) 10 eps - I've put the search on hold for and y'all can let me know if it's worth tracking down once it ends?

In case you missed it

The Time of Fever AKA Unintentional Love Story 2 (Korea movie) trailer released to Korean theaters 5/25. HoTae & DongHee, side couple from Unintentional Love Story are back! Same actors, same character names. I love them. Devastated this hasn't had international distribution. I demand you tell me the moment you find it!

Next Week Looks Like This:

NO IMG - we half way through this week already - sorry.

Upcoming BLs for 2024 are listed here. This list is not kept updated, so please leave a comment if you know something new or RP with additions.

July Releases to Come

7/5 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (Thai iQIYI) - trailer here, The PittBabe team behind a new restaurant set BL full of hidden agendas and starring my new favorites SailubPon. Delightful!

7/10 Century of Love (Thai Gaga) 10 eps - trailer here, DaouOffroad are back, this time as fated mates in a quasi historical paranormal moment. San has spent many lifetimes waiting for his lost beloved, to reincarnate from her death a century ago. But if he fails to find her within this century's time window, he will succumb to a tragic death. And this time she's a boy. Very much Director Who Buys Me Dinner meets First Love Again, hopefully better than both. I love this pair and think they can handle the premise, it's whether the storytelling is up to the challenge. I'm curious to see but I have reservations.

7/26 4 Minutes (Thai Netflix or iQIYI?) - Great is a university student from Faculty of Business and the son of a wealthy business owner. Out of the blue, he gains the supernatural power to see four minutes into the future.

7/29 Battle of the Writers (Thai ????) - trailer here, TutorYim return and while I adore them, I really hope this is better than Middleman's Love. Won't be hard. However: that premise! Ugh. Something something authors fighting - save me. Why don't writers understand that nothing is more boring than writers?

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Defining @heretherebedork 's favorite endearment of "tiny idiot."

I love him. I also love what a class act they both were about this turn down. Thailand shows Korea how to handle a love triangle by NOT HAVING ONE.

Both We Are.

We stand a lap sit on this blog, but I think this is my first lap spin! I adored it! (Sunset X Vibes)

It's fun to watch them follow the original narrative but with these cute little Thai twists. Sometimes these are shifted for language reasons, sometimes for cultural, and sometimes I think just to draw a clear distinction from the JBL. I'm not mad about any of it. (My Love Mix Up)

Not just for you, honey. Truer words were never spoken. Yak is the biggest green flag ever to walk BL's verdant earth.

Linguistic corner!

I love this way of putting the translation. Usually, in Thai, the phrase used means "he's my happiness" (sounds like: kwamsook). To use sabai is different. Sabai more ubiquitous (sabai is one of the most commonly used phrases in Thailand) but also so different from the usual phrase we hear in ThBL at this moment. Thus, this execution is special, particularly from a doctor. I'm not quite sure how to put it but sabai can also be translated as feeling well, as in, not ill. So there is a way of looking at Wandee saying Yak is both his peace of mind and good for his health and well being.

(Last week)

Streaming services are listed by how I (usually) watch, which is with a USA based IP, and often offset by a day because time zones are a pain.

The tag BLigade: @doorajar @solitaryandwandering @my-rose-tinted-glasses @babymbbatinygirl @babymbbatinygirl @isisanna-blog @mmastertheone @pickletrip @aliceisathome @urikawa-miyuki @tokillamonger @sunflower-positiiivity @rocketturtle4 @blglplus @anythinggoesintheshire @everlightly @renafire @mestizashinrin @bl-bam-beyond @small-dark-and-delicious @saezurumurmurs

Sigh, Tumblr in it's infinite wisdom doesn't like too many tags.

There's these tricks, remember.

[anamericangirl]

"More important question, why are liberals triggered by The Sound of Freedom?"

As a liberal, there are 5 main reasons I personally don't like the film.

Highly fictionalized. While based on a real story it takes dozens of liberties in telling it. Many of the events in the film did not happen in real life as they are shown happening in the film. The movie seems to care more about entertaining than it does about telling its story accurately.

Bad acting. This is an objective point, but the film is just not very good in my opinion.

Its inaccurateness harms its goal. By not depicting the story as it actually occurred, it's giving the public a false idea of what CST (child sex trafficking) is like, and misrepresenting issues like this is never a good thing. The film harms its own goal by misrepresenting the issue it aims to bring awareness to.

Other's did it better. There are plenty of other non fictionalized documentaries that have told stories like this way better than the Sound of Freedom does, and the Sound of Freedom is taking eyes away from better media that did what it wanted to do but better.

It's fueling Qanon quacks. There are people out there that believe some absolutely insane stuff, and they're using this film as proof to back up their insane beliefs. Those people think that the fact that CST is real is proof that Trump was fighting some secret cabal and other nonsensical stories.

TDLR: It's highly fictionalized with bad acting that misinforms people and misrepresents CST, while also drawing eyes away from other films that did what it tried to do but better, and it's making crazy people even more crazy.

Thanks for trying to give some actual reasons. They're all bad reasons that aren't even a little bit true but at least you tried.

"Highly fictionalized. While based on a real story it takes dozens of liberties in telling it. Many of the events in the film did not happen in real life as they are shown happening in the film."

Hey quick question - have you seen the film? What do you know about the actual story it's based on? Maybe this is news to you but for most people it's common knowledge that when a film is made based on a real story, movies always take some liberties and fictionalize parts of it for dramatic effect. It doesn't make a bad film or speak against it unless it is so wrong it equates to lying. But leftists seem to completely forgotten that movies do that when it comes to The Sound of Freedom.

Please, do tell exactly what they fictionalized and why it's bad enough that leftists are coming out in droves to discourage people from watching it (even though not a single one of them have seen it).

"Bad acting. This is an objective point, but the film is just not very good in my opinion."

Bad acting is never an objective point. Again, have you seen the film? If you don't like the acting that's fine. A lot of people think the acting was very good. I thought the acting was fine. Not great. But fine. I've seen movies with better acting but I've also seen movies with worse acting. So not liking the acting is hardly a reason to be speaking against this film so much.

"Its inaccurateness harms its goal. By not depicting the story as it actually occurred, it's giving the public a false idea of what CST (child sex trafficking) is like, and misrepresenting issues like this is never a good thing."

So at this point I'm pretty sure you haven't seen it. You're just repeating what you've heard by people who haven't watched it. That's a very vague claim. Please give me very specific examples from the film that you think gives a false idea of child sex trafficking and why it's harmful. Because I don't think you actually know much about this issue and you're just following the mob.

"Other's did it better. There are plenty of other non fictionalized documentaries that have told stories like this way better than the Sound of Freedom does, and the Sound of Freedom is taking eyes away from better media that did what it wanted to do but better."

What are other movies you think did it better? You can promote those films without attacking The Sound of Freedom. The Sound of Freedom did it very well and you've failed to prove otherwise.

"It's fueling Qanon quacks. There are people out there that believe some absolutely insane stuff, and they're using this film as proof to back up their insane beliefs."

lmao ok this is proof you're just listening to propaganda and don't know anything about the movie. Please give examples you have seen of this as well. The movie has nothing to do with Qanon and even if it did why the hell are you more concerned about a non-issue like Qanon than child trafficking?

It's really weird that this is the movie you'll are choosing to wage war against.

[allwormdiet]

Arc 6: Tangle, Concluding Thoughts

Lotta emotional highs and lows to get through here, so let's not dawdle

Okay, from the top now

Brian Laborn is actively evading all of my attempts to understand him. I will discover what makes him tick no matter how long it takes, and I will know whether the furniture building was meant to be a date or not

Speaking of which, my God 6.3 was fucking awkward. Some of that I'm certain was intentional, and good job at that, but holy shit I was actually uncomfortable with the way Aisha is described on her first appearance. Like I guess that can be chalked up to Taylor being awkward and mean but I'm gonna be real, I'm eyeing Wildbow on this one, if there's ever a fucking Worm Revised Edition that had better be on the rewrite block

Uhhhhh, lessee, what n-ahh. The gallery job.

I'm torn on this one, honestly. The build-up was solid, the entrance was delightful, and in the moment-to-moment stuff the fights were fun, but... the Undersiders went in with like half the Protectorate's numbers, and then proceeded to fight a wholeass PRT squad and then every hero there, and beat almost all of them. The Wards didn't do jack shit before being taken out, Assault and Battery got one cool team move and then were dusted, Triumph got downed by a dog, Velocity... Velocity found out a critical flaw in what gets sacrificed in the name of full power efficiency.

Someone on Discord pointed out that Miss Militia using the machete against Regent was actually a good way to discourage him from making her arms move, which is honestly smarter than I initially gave her credit for, but she still wound up puking inside her own costume so it's not like she's coming away from this smelling like roses.

Armsmaster and Dauntless are the only heroes who come out of 6.5 to 6.7 not looking like complete chumps, and Dauntless doesn't have a whole lot of personality on display so he barely counts as a character.

Overall it feels like the Protectorate heroes lost a lot of their bite with this entire sequence. The Undersiders are getaway specialists, thieves who don't pick fights unless they're sure they can win, and they just challenged like one of the highest-rated heroes in the Protectorate and his entire squad and came out of it in one piece. I'll grant that between the ambush conditions and the functionally unmatched battlefield control provided by Grue and Skitter that they tilted multiple factors in their favor, but that still doesn't feel all the way sufficient.

It should've been a lot closer, I think, and in some places it was already pretty close.

I hate Coil's entire vibe so much, I hate hate hate this dude. Smug motherfucker with his choreographed limo rides and coin tricks and shit. I'm gonna have to put up with this for a while, I can fucking feel it, goddamn him.

Somewhat relatedly, Tattletale... I don't like her less but I'm keeping a closer eye on what she says and does. If she's actually vibing with Coil and not just working with him as a matter of opportunism then that. Doesn't reflect great on her.

Hebert family continuing to break my fucking heart. I swear to god these two are gonna take fucking forever to mend the rift between them, and it's gonna involve at least a half-dozen more near-death experiences, goddammit

Edit: fuck me forgot the interlude

Birdcage scares the shit out of me, I think what makes Dragon’s role as architect and warden even worse is that she clearly takes no joy from the act.

Bakuda died as she lived, with bombast and sudden, violent cruelty.

Ahh, fuck, what even is supposed to be next in the story. Leviathan is close, right? I don't know if he's showing up the very next thing but I've been wrong before. God I hope there's, like, a second to breathe before an Endbringer rolls up.

[ominous-feychild]

✦ Character Voice Tag 3 ✦

Hopping on open tags from @the-golden-comet (X) and @paeliae-occasionally (X)!

Lines used: ✦ "Okay, confess: WHO ate the last bite?!" from the-golden-comet ✦ "I care about your safety" from paeliae-occasionally ✦ "Are you threatening me?" kidnapped from @drchenquill

Your line(s) (pick one or more!): ✦ "Why, I oughtta!" ✦ "I have a terrible feeling about this..." ✦ "Everything's great, nothing's wrong at all!"

Characters from Sun and Shadow: Freya, Crow, Daleira, Maritza, Soren, Faer, Valyarus, Ponderosa, Marlon

“Okay, confess: WHO ate the last bite?!”

Frey: (*smiling ominously*) Hey, who took the last bite? It's okay--I just want to talk.

Crow: WHO POURED OUT MY BLOOD?--I don't care how gross it is!--OR IF YOU FIND IT UNETHICAL??? If it's in a damn container, it's already been harvested! You're just going to make me have to find more elsewhere! Do you know how hard it is to get that stuff? It's not like I just sip that shit straight out of anyone's necks, you know!?!? I try to get it ethically! AND DUMPING IT JUST MAKES THAT HARDER--

Daleira: I put my name on that... 😟

Maritza: Real cool, guys! Just stealing the last bit?? Did you even think to check if anyone else hadn't had any yet?

Soren: (*silent frustration. Won't act on it, though... or at least, not obviously. Will, however, investigate who did it and very subtly sabotage them until he's satisfied. Tbf, it won't take long.*)

Faer: Just know, whoever you are... you're no better than an animal.

Valyarus: (*summons everyone who possibly could've done it into the same room and sets a "truth" spell upon it--making it so everyone inside is unable to lie*) Valyarus: Who stole my daughter's food? (*scans everyone's faces as nobody speaks up*) Valyarus: (*smiles darkly*) Let's try this again. Confess to your crime, have someone else expose you, or have me find out the truth the hard way and face the consequences for making this difficult.

Ponderosa: (*magically slams the doors open with wind, using as much force as they can muster*) WHO STOLE MY TARTS??? WHO???? I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Marlon: (*casually, as though talking about the weather; but loudly, as to make sure everyone in the room can hear*) Whoever it is that took the last of the desserts... (*raises his wineglass and takes a drink with a poorly-repressed smirk*) Marlon: (*finally, looks down at the glass and "admires" it for a long moment before slowly scanning everyone's faces again*) ... I'll send my condolences to your family.

"I care about your safety"

Frey: Look, I--... (*struggling for words, and especially to not say exactly what she means*)... listen, don't get hurt out there, okay? I'd hate to see you hurt. Or... find out that.. worse happened. Crow: (*teasingly, winking and nudging her with their elbow*) Oh? Is there something else you're meaning to say? Frey: (*snaps, throwing her arms up*) Yeah, don't fucking disappear like my dad, got it!? Crow: (*oope, humbled--*) Crow: Of course. Who do you take me for? 😅 Frey: (*avoiding looking at them, turning to leave herself*) Someone who does a lot of dumb and reckless things. Crow: Crow, to themself: (well, that's just mean.)

(later...)

Crow: Hey, uh... Frey? Frey: What's up, bird brain? Crow: 😑 Crow: (*struggling--*) Listen, I just... I'm going to go get my charm refilled from--from the old guy, y'know? Frey: (*looks up from her book*) Yeah, okay?... and? 🤨 Crow: What do you mean, "and?" Frey: You sound like you have something else to say. Crow: Crow: (*looks away, mulling over their words*) Crow: Just... take care of yourself. Frey: Frey: (*frowns, about to ask why that sounds so final--*) Crow: And if I don't come back... I'm sorry. Frey: (*alarmed, quickly stands up--*) Crow: (*sinks and disappears into their own shadow, already teleporting away... to do something incredibly dumb and reckless.*)

(oh btw y'all? Those two scenes are 100% canon. 👀😘)

Daleira: (*first time*) I... I love you, okay? Don't do anything stupid. Daleira: (*any other time; sweetly*) Take care of yourself, don't be an idiot. I love you. 😊

Maritza: Please take care of yourself... Soren: You know I can't promise that. Maritza: I know, but... still. Please. Soren: (*sighs heavily, pinching his nose and scanning the room*) Soren: "My best" is all I can guarantee. Maritza: That's enough...

Soren: (*during an absolutely horrible storm while they're at sea*) When you finish, get below deck. I’ll take care of everything up here. Frey: Don't! Don't stay-- Soren: Freya, somebody needs to steer the ship. And my-- Frey: (*swiping her hand out furiously, crying*) AND I NEED A DAD! Soren: (*face softens for a moment, then hardens again*) Soren: (*sternly*) This isn’t the first time I’ve done this. I can control the waves to keep us safe. I just need to make sure you’re all— Frey: THEN COME DOWN WITH US! Do it from below deck! Soren: Freya, as your captain, I order you to go to safety while I steer the ship! Are you going to disobey your captain? Frey: (*venomously*) FINE! What do I care!? ominous-feychild:

(GUESS WHAT ELSE IS A CANON SCENE BTW!? ^^^)

Faer: Are... you sure this is a good idea? Daleira: What? Faer: Doing... this. I just-- Daleira: Look, I'm not arguing with you on this. She needs m-- Faer: Does she really, though? What, worst case scenario they put her in a cell and-- Daleira: Faer. I hate to tell you this, but you know nothing of what this place is like. You stay in here, by yourself, isolating yourself from humanity on purpose. You don't know what they'll actually do to her. Even though she's not guilty. Are you really saying you'd be okay with something like that? Faer: ... I just don't see why it's your responsibility, Daleira. Daleira: (*stunned speechless*) Daleira: Daleira: ... look. If nothing else, I owe her and Soren this much. She came here because of me. But, really? I'm doing this because it's the right thing to do. Think about that, would you? (*magically folds into herself, disappearing*) Faer: ... Faer: (*is, in fact, going to think about that!*)

(also canon, whoops^^)

Valyarus: You shouldn't be mixing yourself in with their business. Ponderosa: (*stirs the wind around the room, drifting toward Valyarus with their face twitching and hair turning into stormclouds*) Ponderosa: Who do you think you are to tell me what to do, old man? Valyarus: You know the answer to that question, Aspen. Ponderosa: (*throws their hands up and flying backwards, accidentally making the winds all the more violent. Zips back forward to jab a finger into Valyarus's chest*) STOP CALLING ME THAT! I'M NOT 'ASPEN'! Valyarus: (*calmly, looking them up and down*) That's besides the point, Asp--... Ponderosa: (*fists and teeth clenched, their "hair" thundering--*) Valyarus: (*takes a slow, deep breath and sighs, closing his eyes for a second before meeting theirs again*) Still. It's dangerous to-- Ponderosa: Yeah, well, I don't care what you have to say! You're not my dad, and I don't have to do SHIT that you tell me to! Valyarus: Isn't that the same thing you said about Saifel? Valyarus: (*oope, went too far--*) Ponderosa: (*FITE!!!!*) Ponderosa: (*barely going to manage to get any hits in, and gets nowhere near actually "winning" the fight. After almost an hour, passes out from magical exhaustion. Valyarus moves them to sleep it off in a guest bedroom in his home.*)

(at this point, just assume these are all canon.)

Ponderosa: (*sneaks into Marlon's office by turning themself into pure air, slipping through the cracks in the window, and appearing full-formed in his office!*) Marlon: (*on the ground surrounded in medical supplies; gritting his teeth as he works on treating his own injuries--*) Ponderosa, shocked: Marlon? Marlon: (*tenses, immediately stopping what he was doing to stand and point his medical scissors like a dagger*) Marlon: (*at the same time, pulled water out of hidden pots to form an array of floating knives around Ponderosa*) Marlon: Ponderosa: (*awkward smile!*) Just me. Marlon: (*half groans, half sighs, but leans against his desk as he drops himself back to the ground and works on treating his injuries again. Much more easily returns the water to the hidden pots*) Marlon: (*curtly, through his teeth*) Sorry. Ponderosa: 'sokay. (*floats a few feet above his head to watch him*) What happened? Marlon: (*doing his best to ignore them above him*) Got jumped. Wasn't prepared for it. Didn't have enough water nearby. Here we are. Ponderosa: (*chews their lip, not understanding the weird feeling in their chest. Are they sick? Did somebody curse them??? That must be it; it would make sense. Lots of people hated them. They'll have to find a shaman to check it out.*) Ponderosa: (*before they can think better of it, blurts*) Have you ever thought about other jobs? Marlon: Marlon: (*looks up at them in shock*) You... do realize that this kinda thing is for life, right? Even if I find a successor, I'm still going to have to look after the mafia after I 'retire'. I'll still have people gunning for my life. Quitting would be even more dangerous than it is for me now. Ponderosa: (*takes a long moment to mull it over and internalize it*) Ponderosa: (*finally, pouts*) That's not fair. Marlon: (*still shocked they even asked, but chuckles weakly and returns to treating his wounds*) Maybe, kid. But I chose this a long time ago. Don't worry about me. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*jerks higher in the air, nearly ramming into the ceiling*) WORRIED about you??? What??? I'm not worried!!! Y'know what, you're boring! GOODBYEEEE! (*and hurriedly leaves the same way they came*) Marlon: (*busts out laughing despite the pain*)

(Ponderosa's kinda immortal/Marlon doesn't have any reason to worry about their safety, but I already wrote a scene as close to that as possible in the last post? Here's a prequel!)

Marlon: (*suddenly*) You know, I've been thinking. Ponderosa (*perks up, quickly floating to his side to eye his paperwork*) You have? What's up!? You have something else for me to do? Oooo, please tell me it's destro-- Marlon: (*sighs slowly, ruefully looking up at them*) That's... not quite what I was thinking of. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*frowns, confused, and twists their head (and the rest of their body in the process)*) What do you mean? Ponderosa: (*before he can speak, perks up and grins awkwardly*) Oh! It's not about me, is it? Marlon: No, it is-- Ponderosa: (*at the same time*) --Sorry! Both: Ponderosa: (*frowning more*) It's about me? But how, if you're not asking me to do something? Marlon: (*sighs, dropping his pen to massage his nose... and avoiding looking at Ponder. Isn't expecting this to go well*) Well, it is... but it's not for the mafia. It's for you. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*slowly drifts upside-down and steadily kicks their feet*) That's weird. What, you want me to try new foods again? (*crinkles their nose, rightening*) Wait, I am NOT trying to make friends again! Marlon: (*drops his hand from his face to meet their eyes, prepared for their temper-tantrum*) I think you should learn to defend yourself without magic. Ponderosa: WHAT!?!?!? Marlon: There's been a mass--! Ponderosa: (*already storming it up in the room*) I WILL NOT!!! Marlon: (*already given up on the papers flying everywhere; shouting to be heard above the wind*) LISTEN! There's been a mass of antimagic devices flooding the market! If you-- Ponderosa: (*plugs their ears and closes their eyes*) LALALA, I'M NOT LISTENINGGGG! Marlon: I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME! KID, DO YOU WANT TO DIE!? Ponderosa: (*opens their eyes and drifts backwards, snarling*) Ponderosa: I don't care what you have to say! BYEEEE! Marlon: KID! I SWEAR TO THE GODS-- Ponderosa: (*turns to air and slips through the window*) Marlon: (*face flushed in anger, but admittedly not surprised. Lets out a heavy, frustrated sigh as he scans the mess that is his office. Papers, books, water, furniture, and broken glass is everywhere... and he's going to have to clean it all up.*)

(Bonus: a general "I care about you" that I wrote before realizing it didn't count, haha. Can you tell I love these two?)

Ponderosa: (*flipping in circles in the air*) Marrrrrrlooooooonnnn, I'm booooooredddd! Marlon: (*looks at them over his reading glasses*) I'm doing paperwork. Don't you have anything else to do? Ponderosa: (*pouts, hanging upside-down with their arms under their legs as they watch him*) But you don't want me messing with your grunts! Marlon: (*quirking an eyebrow*) That never stopped you before. Ponderosa: Ponderosa: (*makes a face*) Well, I just don't want to right now! And you can't tell me what to do, so! Ponderosa: (*grins and spins to be right-side-up*) Entertain me! Marlon: Hm. (*skims over his paperwork for another moment before sighing and putting it down*) Fine. I suppose you deserve a treat for good behavior. (*smirks a bit--*) Ponderosa: (*whines*) I'm not a DOG! (*not actually upset; knows he's just joking*)

I love characters who say "I care about you/your safety" without actually saying it, and instead imply it through their actions-- 🥰

"Are you threatening me?"

Frey: I'm sorry, what did you just say? Say that again. I dare you.

Crow:(*can't help a small, goofy grin*) Did you want to try that again? or, alternatively: (*straight-faced unimpressed*) Spare us both the trouble. Walk. away. (really depends on their mood/the timing which one they are, haha)

Daleira: (*freezes, then looks at them incredulously*) I--I'm sorry. You--you do know who I am, right? What I am? I--I don't think you understand-- (*pleadingly*)

Maritza (if a mugging): Listen, whatever you want, I'll give it to you. Just, please, for both of our sakes--don't take this any further. Maritza (if it's political): (*laughs sharply, surprised*) I'm sorry, did you really think that would work?

Soren (if it involves Frey): (*angry head tilt; eyes them with a look of pure, barely-contained rage*) Go anywhere near my daughter--or have anything else do so on your behalf--and I will personally make sure that not only do you never die, but the rest of your miserable existence will be in agony. Soren (excluding Frey): (*quirks an eyebrow*) Are you sure about that?

Faer: (*stunned silent*) His literal cyborg bobcat "pet" Gullveig: (*growls, putting herself between Faer and the person who made the threat*) Faer: (*frowning, steps around Gullveig while meeting their eyes. Calmly*) ... I don't think you know who you're threatening. I spent a majority of my life fighting creatures far stronger than you just to survive. I'd recommend you leave before I decide to take you seriously.

Valyarus (if it's someone significantly weaker than him): (*scoffs, then magically seizes their body and drags them just an inch away from his face, snarling. Evenly, with hints of anger underlying his voice*) I'm sure you misspoke. Would you like to try that again? Valyarus (if it's someone near his level): (*can't help grinning, almost bouncing with joy; maliciously*) Oh, really? Say that again? I'm sorry--I just want to make sure I heard you correctly. Valyarus (if it's someone he knows he can't beat): (*fighting a snarl, maintains a passive expression*) Of course... forgive me, {sir / ma'am / mixter}.

Ponderosa: Who do you think you are? (*literal murder time*)

Marlon (if it's physically): (*eyes them up and down, gauging whether or not he thinks he can beat them in a fight*) Marlon (if he thinks can win): (*laughs, grinning darkly, but anger behind his eyes*) Walk out with your life while I still feel merciful. And hope I don't change my mind after you've left. Marlon (if he thinks can't win): (*subtly presses his "call Ponderosa; I'm in danger" button*) Really?... what are your conditions. (*stalls for time; will defend himself to the best of his ability if a fight starts*) Marlon (if it's political): That's bold of you... so. What makes you think this'll work?

The "someone just threatened them" one was really fun! Haha, then again, they were all pretty fun. The "I care about your safety" one was pretty much all canon scenes that were just floating around my head, so I guess it wasn't too bad to get them put down!

I'm ngl, I wasn't expecting Soren's “Freya got threatened” one to go so far, but I guess it really goes to show his fatherly protectiveness, haha. Despite his major absence in her life, he really does love her more than anything else. 🥺😭

And it's hilarious to me just how much Valyarus loves fighting / craves to fight someone or thing on his level, haha. Curious about that? Leave an ask!

Also, yes, lmao, Marlon is a mob boss and Ponderosa is his willing attack dog... 99% of the time. Curious about that? Leave an ask! 😉

What do you guys think of the formatting of these? My personal outlines are traditionally formatted like this, but I've been told before that my they can be hard to read, so I worry that might also be the case for these. 😅 But, uh, idk how else I'd put them down, haha.

Tag list: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @the-letterbox-archives

@yourpenpaldee @mysticstarlightduck @darkandstormydolls @wyked-ao3 @ashirisu

@urnumber1star @48lexr @aalinaaaaaa + open tags!

Dividers by @cafekitsune

[normal-internet-user]

Can you write a Story with fm&Leo ?

A First Meeting Situation with him.. and April is a girlfrind of y/n .

Also with fluff / sfw ?

😍💙😁😘

NICE TO MEET YOU

♡~~♡~~♡~~♡~~♡

Summary: After spending the day with April, the two of you end up in a dangerous situation on your way home, where you are rescued by our leader in blue!

Warnings: Swearing, and very mild depictions of violence

Requested: @tkappi 💕

Female Reader!

Very crackish, but it was like 4 in the morning and I was loopy and giggly, enjoy!

.........................................

You laughed lightly at the joke April told. It was girls' night, something the two of you hadn't done in a while, April had a lot of "personal stuff" going on, so alot of the time she had to bail.

The two of you walked down the dark sidewalk away from the cinema, you had gone to see a new horror movie that had a lot of hype around it, and now the two of you were making fun of the bad acting.

"What about when she started crying in that one scene? You could so tell she was faking it, almost like she wasn't even trying."

April nodded, taking another sip from the soda she'd bought, "I know, it seems like horror films are just getting worse and worse."

You moved your hand in a 'so, so' gesture, "Eh, there are accouple good ones, but old slasher films just seem better, ya know?"

"I couldn't agree more, (Name)."

The two of you continued the trek towards your shared apartment complex. You lived in the same building, but weren't actual roomates, just neighbors. You'd gotten pretty close the day you moved in, and the rest was history.

April stopped just infront of an alley, and looked back at her confused, "Something wrong?" you asked.

"Hm? Oh, no, lets go this way though. It's a short cut."

You looked down the alley nervously, "Uhm, April, we're in a pretty dodgey part of town. Maybe we shouldn't go walking down dark alleys in the middle of the night."

April laughed, "Don't worry, nothings gonna happen. Even if something does, I have some... friends who'll be more than happy to help out."

"Thats reassuring." you muttered.

The two of you entered the alley, the other end in clear view, "You realize this is how people die in horror movies right?"

"Oh, shush. It's fine, I promise!"

It was not fine.

It was not fucking fine.

Two fucking ninjas jumped infront of you two, you glanced back to see two behind as well.

"I fucking told you so." you muttered,

"Not the time, (Name)!"

You shrugged, looking around for something to use as a weapon. Nothing, great.

One of the ninjas infront of you drew a sword from the sheath off their back and pointed it directly at April, "April O'neil, we have orders to bring you to Karai. Do not resist and it will be easier for everyone."

You looked in between April and the ninja, "April, who the hell did you piss off?"

"Just stay behind me, (Name)."

You scoffed, "Hey, I dunno if you noticed, but there's ninjas behind us too."

"Shit." she mumbled, April raise her hands in a gesture of surrender, "You guys really don't wanna do this. You know, because of my four friends?"

The ninja let out a whistle and the other three began to approach the pair of you. April reached for her watch and began to rapidly press a button on the side, "Hurry up, hurry up, come on you guys..." she started to mumble.

Your eyes began to search for a weapon once again. Your eyes stopped on the metal lid of a trash can, you snatched it up, and held it at the ready.

You felt a hand grab your shoulder, and with all your might you swung the lid around smacking the assailent in the face.

"Ouch! Calm down miss! I'm here to help you, I'm April's friend!"

"OH MY GOD I'M SO SORRY!"

You dropped the trash lid, and began to fret over the bruise growing on his cheek. The turtle looked between you and April, completely flabberghasted at how little you had reacted to him being a giant fucking turtle.

"H-hold that thought please." He said, side stepping you to take care of the other two foot ninjas.

You looked at April, "That's one of your friends?"

April nodded, looking at you strangly, "Yeah. You are taking this really well."

"What? Oh, yeah, well, a giant spaceship thing did appear in the sky afew years ago, so. Your friend being a giant turtle ninja is like, the least strange thing I've seen."

The turtle began to approach you and April once again, sheathing his blades as he did so, "You ladies ok?" he asked.

You nodded, "Uh- yeah, thank you- what's your name?"

"Oh, right. I'm Leonardo. But please, call me Leo, miss...?"

"(Name). I'm (Name). Oh, sorry about your face- that's my bad."

"No, no don't worry about it. Really. You have good reaction time."

"Oh, thank you-"

April cut you off, "Sorry to cut the indroductions short but, Foot Clan?"

Leo nodded, clearing his throat, "Right, did they say anything about why they were here?"

"Just that they had orders to take April to some bitch named Karai." you shrugged.

April snorted at your choice of words, and Leo looked mildly amused, "Hm. Well Maybe it's best I walk you ladies home."

"Good idea." April replied,

And so the three of you set off down the empty streets heading to your apartment complex. After arriving, Leo swore you to secrecy about this incident, then bid you an April a goodnight.

April offered you to sleep over at her's that night, and you agreed. The two of you sat in her kitchen siping coffee and discussing the previous events.

"So, what are your first impressions of Leo?" April asked as she sipped her coffee.

You shrugged, "Honestly? He's kinda hot."

April choked on her coffee, before looking at you and laughing out loud, "What? That's what you took away from that?"

"Hey, don't judge. He is. But on a more serious note, he seems nice. I'd like to get to know him more."

"I'm sure you would." April teased, smirking at you.

You smacked her arm lightly as you blushed, "Shut up."

.........................................

There we go! Sorry for the long wait, @tkappi ! I really like this one.

I took a more chaotic rom-com route for this one, but to be fair, I started at like 4 in thr morning so...

[notmorbid]

the one inside.

dialogue prompts from the one inside by sam shepard.

it sounds like someone's getting murdered in there.

i've been recording all our conversations, you know.

nothing i've said is of any importance.

i want you to stay as far away from me as possible.

you're the one who should be afraid of the law.

sometimes the most beautiful things are purely accidental.

wouldn't it be great if you could just wish yourself famous?

i wasn't trying to suggest that we should try joint suicide.

i don't feel so old. i just look old.

should i pretend i don't even know you?

don't get esoteric.

don't act like you know more than you do.

i've known sin firsthand.

i don't want to scare you at all.

you've never even seen me naked.

i didn't say 'lying'. i said 'making stuff up'.

i see my father in everything. he just pops up.

you're in worse shape than i thought.

were you rehearsing the things you'd say to me?

so be it, as they say in the king james bible.

you want to die worse than i do.

you behave like that and you expect everything to be normal?

you know me better than i know myself.

what does lack of spontaneity look like?

there's a lot i don't notice these days.

why are you here? why do you keep coming back?

i always have this feeling i'm living someone else's life.

other people seem far outside of me, somehow.

it's like my experiences don't belong to me. they belong to someone else.

you're just as confused as you always were.

we're witnessing the present become the past as we speak.

amazing how the camera captures time without even trying.

you'll never get rid of me, you know.

would you rather be alone? just tell me.

do you think about me when i'm not here?

it's hard to believe how much stuff will fit up inside your nose.

nobody knows. i'm the only one. and you, now.

what's the difference between a dream and a nightmare?

i don't appreciate your moral perspective.

i want you always by my side, no matter what.

i wasn't sure if you were acting or not.

there's nothing i'm still afraid of.

[ultfan]

MY DESPAIR DR3 IDEAS LFG

firstly, i just wanna say that i am basing everything here based of info we get in dr1, dr2 and dr0. i'm just wiping the actual anime itself from my brain. so anime exclusive editions are just gonna be scrubbed. i may be able to fit them in somewhere, but they're not my focus. this is origin story centric.

kick off during the first year of the dr2 cast. i think rather than showing how unified the group is it would actually make more sense if everyone was kinda struggling. obviously some people would form their close bonds, like nekomaru and akane, gundham and sonia, etc. but i don't think it makes sense for the cast to have as close a bond as they do in dr3.

hajime and chiaki were huge pieces when it came to keeping the peace/unity between the members of the dr2 cast during the game. they would not be present in class 77-B. because hajime is in the reserve course and chiaki is an ai.

if their first year of school was all sunshine and rainbows i don't see why they would erase memories of ALL of their time at hope's peak academy.

narratively it makes the most sense for their first year to be setup as to why these people would fall for junko. they shouldn't be having a great time at hope's peak. fuyuhiko's sister is killed, sato is killed, people have health complications, people are dealing with family troubles... even if they try to keep together there is a lot boiling under the surface.

nagito, as a known troublemaker, would 100% fucking make the problems they are facing worse. because on god you know komaeda would tell fuyuhiko to his face that his sister's death was a "stepping stone" and he could overcome it. — he is definitely a disrupter of unity, even if he's not trying to be.

hajime's deal is likely a seemingly disconnected b-plot until the izuru stuff happens (at least if you're watching without any danganronpa context... which would be stupid... but narratively that's how it would look). ——— he's separated from the rest of the cast, probably often witnessing things form the sidelines. the focus on hajime should be on his worsening mental health, going from being excited to be going to hope's peak to learning what it really means to be in the reserve course.

he strikes me as someone who would at least TRY to get involved with the main course students. i think it'd be interesting to see him all hopeful and trying to make ultimate friends or act like he's on the same level as them. only to get completely shut down and rejected by the people he does end up reaching out to.

really use him to show just how poorly reserve course students are treated by the school. the disparity between the two kinds of students — the fact that the reserve course are ONLY there to give hope's peak more funding and nothing else.

highlight how badly he wants to be part of that world. how desperate he is. how he'd be willing to do anything to feel "special." like he's worth something.

yasuke has to be important as the ultimate neurologist. he helped with the memory shit, he's implied to have helped on the kamakura project, and he is also said to have his research used in the neo world program. not including him in all of this would honestly just be a crime. he ties everything together in a neat bow.

given that they're both entering the school in the same year, and nagito got his diagnosis this year too, there is no way he wouldn't see this as fate. he is going to hope's peak at the same time as the ultimate neruologist! that has to be a sign. i can easily see nagito offering up himself to yasuke so he could study his illness and monitor his brain activity. yasuke, who has a past with this kind of disease, would probably be more than willing to as well.

in the middle of the year the school, being impressed with his work, yasuke is reached out in private to assist in the kamakura project. he accepts and gets on it ——— in the background hajime is scouted and accepts to participate out of desperation, not entirely aware of what he's getting into.

enter class 78 — and junko and mukuro — who, thanks to yasuke, are able to easily integrate themselves into the plot and where they need to be.

junko's relationship with yasuke allows her to learn about the kamakura project early on into the school year. she learns about it's progress, it's purpose, and where izuru is being kept (for future reference).

by coincidence — or perhaps thanks to bad luck — she is able to meet nagito through yasuke. this is a guy who's brain doesn't function normally. simply put, he is an incredibly difficult guy to predict/truly understand. i imagine he would interest junko — and his hope fanaticism would be something of note that can be taken advantage of. it is via nagito that junko is able to get an interest in class 77-B and learn about the misfortune they faced last year (when she wasn't here). this will eventually domino into her turning them into ultimate despair. this makes a lot more sense then randomly running into a guy and deciding he's important to the plot, imho.

izuru would get "rescued" by the despair sisters. with a combination of the information they got from yasuke, mukuro's skills as the ultimate soldier, and junko's ultimate analyst ability they are able to avoid trouble and smoothly get to him. this is the real start of her plan.

in dr2 it is said that junko "broke izuru's spirit" — which implied he had a spirit to break. in dr3 he was already dead inside, but i feel like it would make sense if the scientists really tried to make him incredibly loyal to hope's peak and the idea of hope. you know — actually attempt to make the ultimate hope. make that his entire identity.

izuru, incapable of remembering anything that has ever been told to the contrary, is given an entirely different view of the world through junko. izuru, given his little reaction to being on the boat (his excitement at the rocking) strikes me as someone who is surprisingly ignorant and impressionable. which makes sense. they took away all his memories/feelings/personality. and so, when junko gives her philosophy to him, he asks for her to prove it.

he doesn't initially believe her, thanks to how he was created, but then the idea of the first mutual killing game comes up. izuru participates out of sheer curiosity to see where junko is coming from — to see if there is anything at all to this. and given that is the incident that leads to the inevitable fall of hope's peak... it seems to izuru that there is. THAT is what breaks his spirit.

izuru learns that everything he went through, that everything he thought he knew, was a lie. and that the concept that he is meant to embody and put forth into the world isn't... really... anything. "hope" — what is that? it's such a vague idea and it's different for literally every person. it's just an empty promise. there's no hope for someone like him. and there's no hope for this school — or this world. not really.

the events of dr0 happen. most people actually know that ryoko is junko and that she lost her memories (at least class 78 and people who knew her beforehand were aware) — and we know the school is also covering shit up too. izuru goes into hiding. the reserve course students start rioting. kyoko goes to investigate the killings of the student council and is eventually told to stop by her dad (because if she got any further she'd learn about things the school couldn't risk getting out). mukuro tests out her junko disguise here and there, but probably not in public often (mostly just with ryoko). and yasuke is killed, his death covered up by the school.

if kyoko is able to investigate, i think it is logical that nagito also investigates. i mean, his beloved symbols of hope are dying! he is pretty close to kyoko's levels of deduction in dr2, often having solved the cases before everyone else and just watching things progress as he drip feeds hints. i have no doubt kyoko would've been able to uncover everything if she wasn't stopped, but nagito also has an advantage: knowing yasuke.

he would know yasuke wouldn't suddenly drop out and stop their research — he's the ultimate neurologist, after all. it's also likely that he knew he was treating junko (ryoko) for a while. and if he were to investigate his lab/dorm he could be able to find the research papers on memory that were stolen by the despair sisters for their future plans.

with this knowledge, as well as seeing that junko SUDDENLY regained her memories after yasuke's disappearance, i think it's reasonable for him to confront them and figure out what they're doing.

junko takes advantage of the kind of person nagito is. we know from monokuma's behavior in dr2 that it seems he really trusts nagito to go above and beyond when given the opportunity to challenge his symbols of hope. monokuma was supportive of komaeda in the first killing and even actively helped him a little bit when it came to setting things up for the investigation (hajime even mentioned it seemed like nagito had trained monokuma). and i've already talked about how the final dead room's highest difficult setting was likely made specifically with komaeda in mind — knowing he would do something extreme upon finding out about their identities of ultimate despiar.

what takes place is a proposed battle against hope and despair. junko would know enough about nagito from yasuke to know about his love of hope, as well as his abberant behavior. and, with mukuro around, she's not in danger if she spills some stuff to nagito. if he threatens to spill things before they're ready to be spilled, he'd get killed. luckily, nagito is 100% the kind of person to side with his enemies.

this school and the ultimates here are basically komaeda's coping mechanism. he believes that hope can overcome any despiar. and so he fully believes junko's plans will fall flat and that the symbols of hope will easily overcome her despair and be stronger for it. junko is able to egg him on — get him to prove it  — and he agrees to help her spread her despair just to prove her wrong. he doesn't believe his assistance will do much. because he believes himself inconsequential and irrelevant.

it is through nagito that junko is able to learn more personal details of class 77-B, and through him that she is able to manipulate them directly and indirectly. she is able to break each of them down one by one — really dig in and target them in ways that would break them specifically. and eventually brainwash them (in the culty sense, not the mind control sense) into accepting her despair mindset.

junko works a lot like a cult leader in my mind. she is able to perfectly analyze and predict others, and has great charisma. after breaking them down she could easily offer them despair to give them some "meaning" back into their life. and we know from mikan and nagito that "just despair" isn't always the reason for the members of ult despair to do what they do. mikan was doing it out of love and devotion for junko, for example.

as nagito sees each of his classmates fall over to junko's side and begin to add fuel to the fire of the tragedy, he starts getting a little nervous. but he managed to convince himself that they were just surprisingly weak in the end, and holds onto hope that the school itself and the majority of students would be fine. unfortunately, that's not the case.

the new members of ultimate despair manage to push the reserve course students over the edge — and start pushing the world towards the edge as well — leading to the mass suicide and the complete collapse of hope's peak. class 78 being "coincidentally" the only class to survive. this would end up getting nagito fully despair-pilled, even if he is still fighting for hope. and it would end with all members of ultimate despair (aside from mukuro and junko, who agree to be locked up in the remains of hope's peak) going somewhat into hiding to spread despair from the shadows (i say in hiding because we know that they didn't know the identities of the remnants, and didn't even know there were 15 other survivors).

i imagine part of junko's motivation for getting all these extra members into ultimate despair was to ensure that things wouldn't die down in the outside world without her directly involved. and, of course, to get help with the things she needed help with (building monokuma, for example).

EXTRA STUFF I WAS VAGUE ABOUT

how junko would get each individual member of ult despair is up in the air. i have nagito and izuru clear in my mind because i think it makes the sense for them to be the most directly involved in the plot, given their overall significance in the series. but i do have some ideas:

she probably preyed on maihiru's guilt involving the twliight syndrome murder case.

mikan is obvious — she preyed on her need for love/acceptance and gave it to her.

fuyuhiko and peko were probably targeted together, preying on the death of his sister and peko's role as a tool.

took advantage of ibuki's loneliness after leaving her girlband.

etc etc etc.

however she did do it for each of them, i believe it was a matter of ensuring they got to their lowest point (probably even with nagito's help, given his skills of manipulation and complete willingness to be a fall guy), and then swooping them in and being the person that they need in that moment. her true colors probably only really being seen/felt by the time they were all despair-pilled and it was too late for them.

at some point treating each other horribly is part being ultimate despair, yeah? like... kind words aren't used between them. it's similar to mukuro in danganronpa if ——— when she realized junko is cutting her off because she's being super kind and speaking about how much she loves her. for ultimate despair verbal abuse becomes a love language, it feels. hence why i think junko was pretty mean to the remaining remnants in the last dr2 trial. that's just how they interact! they make fun of each other, they're mean, they're abusive. so they can feel despair. because that's all they have at that point.

[miiilowo]

what's endogenic if you don't mind me asking? i have seen that as a dni in a lot of blogs and idk what it is

note: this does get sort of ranty as i explain, sorry about that. im not upset with You or anything im just upset about the subject in general

its a term that describes systems (e.g. DID or other similar things; when theres a bunch of personalities living in the same brain) that formed without trauma being the inciting factor in them being plural. Typically, systems are formed because some traumatic incident occurred (usually in early childhood) that caused their brain to sort of section itself off for protection. great, good, whatever. a lot of people dont like the idea that systems can exist without that trauma being there. and while i can see where these people are coming from, its generally an assholeish move to deny the existence of a large swathe of people & invalidate their experiences on the basis of them not fitting their idea of what they should be.

im not a system myself, but i am friends with a few & am dating a member of a system, (both traumagenic & endogenic) and i can confidently say that people who are anti-endogenic are kind of stuck in the same mindset that transmeds/truscums are. the idea that you have to meet THIS SPECIFIC LIST OF REQUIREMENTS for your experience to be valid is dumb as hell and i simply do not agree with it. ive known endogenic systems who were presented this diagnosis by mental health professionals, which kind of proves in of itself that 1. this can happen. not every system has to be formed through trauma. sometimes people are just like that 2. to assume we know everything about the human brain and how it works is absolutely ridiculous 3. clearly, not every non-traumagenic system is faking it. which leads into my next point

a lot of people who are anti-endo think that all endogenic systems are faking it for attention (which is, of course, not true). im sure there are some people who do fake being a system, but imo, its 10000000000x worse to be an ass to a bunch of people on the basis that some of them might be faking it.

i would rather be kind to 99 people faking a disability or illness, than deny any sort of courtesy or help to the one person in that group of 100 who is genuinely disabled. and being a dick to endogenic systems falls under that most of the time. like, its kind of hard to miss when youve got a whole bunch of people milling around with you in your head, you know? and its a lot harder to keep up that act in a convincing manner

even those who are "faking it" aren't harming anyone, at least, not on the scale that anti-endos seem to claim that they do. theres subreddits dedicated to bullying these people just sharing their experiences and it is deeply fucked up. hope this helps genuinely. sorry for ranting this just genuinely bothers me as someone who is close to so many systems

edit: (pasted from replies)

im turning off reblogs because i cannot handle any kind of discourse To Be Frank and this is gaining more notes than i'd like it to + some of the stuff said here was slightly wrong, though the overall point is not

[22degreehalo]

Something I find kind of frustrating in discussions of female characters is whole ardently a lot of people will commit to the, like, aesthetic? of wanting bad/messy/unjustified female characters. All 'I support women's wrongs <3' and dunking on people who can't 'handle' a woman who does one thing wrong ever and the like

But then, when they actually start talking about their favourite female character. they DO, in fact, think that everything they did was okay and justified. Like, yes, they admit that they were violent or lashed out, but then they'll write essays about how it was a totally normal and justified traumatic response and everyone in-universe and out should forgive them and how the male characters she hurt were actually the ones who did wrong first so she was just fighting against the patriarchal dystopia she lives in etc. etc.

and I just. do not think that that is actually the same thing!!!!!

For an example: Ashley The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley Graves. Since joining the fandom I've been continually startled by just how MANY people will assert, with vehement assurance, that Andrew is 'just as bad as Ashley', often with the explicit or implicit judgement that anyone who thinks otherwise is biased against women.

And... I actually do think I disagree!!!!! Insofar as 'good person' is a quantifiable thing, it's made pretty dang clear in the flashback that Andrew has a level of conscience that, back then at least, Ashley truly did not show. She actively wanted to hurt Nina, even if not kill her outright, and was much less upset when it ultimately happened. She's also the initiator of almost all the fucked-up stuff that happens in canon: the cannibalism, the cold-blooded murder, and even the incest.

And that's fucking awesome!!! Ashley is the driving force behind the narrative: the proactive, game-changing one, the one who's running the show for the two of them. By contrast, Andrew's involvement is almost entirely either passive or reactive; even when he does, for example, kill the other guard, you could argue that Ashley was the true motivator behind it, given that she's the reason they ended up in that situation in the first place AND she's the one who chose that hiding place. He just saw that her life was in danger and pulled a trigger.

That's a role that is almost always given to female characters: the guilt-ridden ones, the conscience, the passive enablers. Men are the ones who Act; women, usually, simply Are, exerting influence on the story merely by affecting those around them.

Ashley is, in my view, a worse person than Andrew: because it certainly seems that she would have had the level of conscience that she has even without an Andrew to manipulate, while Andrew would WITH CERTAINTY not have done even half the shit he pulls in the game if not for Ashley.

And that's why she's such a great female character. Because she's not just reacting to the patriarchy and exhibiting some inherently female reasonableness or moral ethics. She is the reason why the story is happening as it is - not because men are driven to act on her behalf, but because of her own personal fucked-up choices and quasi-intentional manipulation.

She has, in short, the vast majority of the agency of the story. And she uses it to be selfish and fucked up (evil) and fucked up (traumatised) and weird and goofy and vicious and incredibly fucking fun to watch, and I for one think that's fucking awesome.

[pussyhoundspock]

having seen it now, i think the mixed review for the new york transfer of the 2024 frecknall cabaret make a lot of sense -- it's easy to see both sides. on one hand, it's an incredibly well produced, choreographed show with great aesthetics; the performances, especially the older b-couple are fantastic (i'll talk more specifically about cliff/the emcee and sally in a minute); cabaret itself is phenomenal. so it's a great show with great costumes stages effects and great performances. of course its getting praise!

but on the other hand, there isn't much the revival is doing that's very revolutionary. it's really just doing the sam mendes production but "more". cabaret has a really interesting history -- the original stage show, then the movie (all different songs), then the new stage show in 1987 (combo of songs), then the sam mendes/alan cummings revival which was so impactful that's the song list and book that was used in the frecknall revival. it set the tone for the aesthetic, as well as the themes, and even did its own attempt at making audience members feel like attendees of the kit kat club. however, of course, the frecknell version does more to do that. more to immerse the audience, more frenzy to sally, more demonic energy to the emcee -- though i would say the frecknell emcee is much closer to joel grey then alan cummings -- i.e., sexless, vauderal-ian figure/jester, puppet master/architect, etc, but i won't get too into that. anyway that is to say i understand the frustration or negative reviews because i dont really think the frecknell revival is doing or saying anything different than the mendes one, which was a lot more recent in america than london, though arguably the frecknell version takes things further for better or worse. and some stuff really works -- like i think one of the strongest scenes in the whole show is the brick through the window scene GENUINELY incredibly

the frecknell cabaret did have its flops for me, though. for example, while i liked what they were doing with this version of the emcee -- especially the clown suit! the costuming was great! i didn't really like redmaynes version. it felt like he was working way too hard and trying way too hard -- whereas with joel grey and alan cummings i truly felt that character come alive and it was creepy and compelling and fun and many other adjectives with redmayne it was just like. a version of the emcee that was sexless and also had negative rizz and also was visibly like Trying. i don't know. what they were doing with the emcee really worked for me; redmayne's performance didn't. but that's very like my personal taste. i also didn't really love the performance of 'cabaret' at the end which is unfortunate because that's one of my favorite musical theater moments in like. well. the whole damn thing. i did generally like the portrayal of sally, even dialed up as it was, because it did feel resonate with our time -- i think cabaret revivals really reflect the time they're in.

THAT SAID. speaking of time periods. an aside but. this production felt like the dialogue equivalent of tiktok face. the acting/actors just felt too modern at times. also. while i'm doing minor asides. i didn't really feel like they leaned as into the immersive thing as they could've but that could've been because i was rear mezz. anyway.

[being-of-rain]

My thoughts on The Church on Ruby Road! I literally can't write one of these without it being much longer than I expect. You think I'd simply expect it by now. But apparently I just had a lot of thoughts to put down about this one!

I really liked it! Going by friends' reactions, I think I liked it more than most of them. Maybe that's because I was expecting the more straightforward fantasy than usual from Doctor Who after hearing about it from RTD. I hope they dive into that more in the upcoming series, and make it explicit that it's because of the edge-of-the-universe-superstition stuff. That's such a fun direction for the show to go in.

I mostly have good things to say. Ncuti Gatwa was an instant fit for the Doctor, I can't wait to watch a whole series of him. His outfits were fantastic, especially that very first shot of him with his hat. And his deduction and reassurance scene with the policeman reminds us that the character has a powerful magic even without the goblins and skyships. Oh and the Doctor loving the name Lulubelle, what an adorable moment.

The goblins and skyships themselves felt very Peter Pan to me, and I love the urban fantasy feel it gave the episode. I also simply adore the fairytale logic, narrative magic that the Doctor was talking about. "The language of luck" and "coincidence is what makes the baby tasty" and "vocabulary of rope" and "if you have lots of accidents, it stitches you in. It weaves you into the day." I eat that stuff up, urban fantasy at its best in my opinion. Creeping into our world around the edges. And of course Doctor Who had to have a line suggesting that all coincidences might be because of goblins, I love it. The unexpected goblin music number felt very appropriately pantomime, and led to yet another moment that made me fell in love with this Doctor; him continuing the song rather than stopping it. Again, adorable.

As for Ruby Sunday, she's fun to watch and well acted, and I don't have anything bad to say about her, but she does feel a little generic-companion to me at the moment. Sometimes companions take a while before they go from 'like' to 'love' for me, but they usually make it eventually, it just takes one really great episode or plot. I do love her family though, they're so much fun, please can we have the Doctor spending more time with them. It's so cute to see a foster family depicted so positively and wholesomely.

Which leads us to the hardest-hitting part of the episode, when Ruby's taken and the timeline is rewritten, and GOD it's bleak. It's another look at that classic RTD cynicism that's just under the surface, but it works soooo well here, god damn. The way a lot of minimal changes made the setting go from "queens of the sky" to "stuck with my old mum up here in the attic" was so Powerful. The performances of Michelle Greenidge as a depressed Carla and Ncuti Gatwa as a raw and heartbroken Doctor was just. Chef's kiss. This time it's sci-fi at it's best; something impossible happening and then the story really digging its claws into the emotional impact it has on people.

The Doctor really showing his emotions is something I love and want to see a lot more of. I assume that's the main change to the character after Tennant Doctor's mental health retirement, which is a relief after Thirteen's years of brooding and hiding negative emotions from friends. So I don't mind Gatwa's Doctor having issues and brooding moments, because obviously you can't permanently fix all your problems forever anyway, especially not in his life. But all that said, specifically his line "I've got no one" really stood out to me as being strange considering the previous episode seemingly solving that in the short term. I know Gatwa's Doctor might potentially be a long way past that now, but surely it robs the retirement ending of its entire point if we immediately skip past not only the healing, but the getting-worse-again-about-the-exact-same-issue as well.

Speaking of Thirteen, it was nice to see RTD once again bring back the Timeless Child from Chibnall's era and give it a bit more depth. Chibnall definitely acknowledged the Timeless Child's emotional impact on the Doctor, and she had an arc surrounding that. But if I had to describe that arc I'd call it rather one-note and uninteresting; going from 'desperate to know more about adoption' to 'accepting it without question' without really any character beats in-between. Seeing how Gatwa's Doctor was dealing with it, how he related to other adoption stories and thought about himself, adds more dimensions to that, and I hope we get more glimpses of it.

When it comes to Ruby Sunday's adoption, I like that there's something of a plot bait-and-switch with the Doctor staring at (presumably) Ruby's mother in the cold open, then the Doctor being more concerned with saving Ruby later in the episode, and deciding not to follow the mother. If the series spends more focus on that plot, I hope it's mostly Ruby making a similar choice to the Doctor, because I'm an absolute sucker for 'it's not biology that makes a family.' I mean, basically my favourite Doctor Who story is Izzy Sinclair's from the DWM comic, and it was basically this. Izzy's story might've even been a direct influence on Ruby's, since we know that RTD was a DWM reader at the time and loved it too, enough to send a letter in praising the final Izzy comic! Anyway, I should probably try not to compare the two arcs too much, because I have my favourite and I'm biased 😂

How does this Thoughts Post feel even longer than usual!? I guess new Doctor, new companion, and new story arcs might do that. So time for random points!

-After checking, the clock on the eponymous church is absolutely the same one on the Christmas Town tower from The Time of the Doctor. I hope I'm not the only one who immediately noticed that aha. -I've seen people diss the narration at the very start, and I get disliking purposeless narration, but I think this one serves a purpose well. It adds even more of a fairytale vibe to a very fairytale scenario in a very fairytale episode. -Random nitpick: one thing I'd change about the episode is how much stress the camera and music give to some comedy minor characters, specifically the lady with the pram, Mrs Flood in her first scene, and the other neighbour. Focusing on them so much felt like it dampened their little jokes a bit. -Random highlight: I love when the Doctor says random throwaway stuff like they always do, but side characters actually pick it up and start trying to pick meaning out of it. So it made me happy when Ruby came back to the Houdini namedrop at the end of the episode. -The international version of the episode had a random Disney Plus ad before the final few lines (rather than that being a mid-credits scene like in the UK) and god I hated it. Praying that doesn't happen again. -I know RTD has said there'll be more about the "mysterious" Mrs Flood in future, but to me she genuinely just felt like a minor character with a christmas fourth-wall break. I really don't care about getting more of her, so if there is then I hope it's more interesting. -The murder of the Goblin King sure was more violent than usual for Doctor Who, and it can bother me a little bit when TV shows start letting things like that go by without comment, but I don't really mind it this time. The goblins vanished like the mythical creatures they were, the Doctor was cool as hell jumping off the church tower to bring them down, and this time the classic RTD Emotional Manipulation was working on me perfectly. -It's hilarious that they're keeping up the 'mavity' thing, I wonder when they'll actually do something with that.

Final thoughts! The Church on Ruby Road was a fantastic start to The Gatwa Era. It had a simple plot and villains, which worked wonderfully with the delightful characters, magical aesthetic, and powerful emotional beats it landed. It definitely felt more like a first episode than a christmas special, which is to it's credit, but with the singular downside that it has me impatient for more episodes!

If you made it all the way to the end, then Happy New Year! I hope you (and Dr Who) have a wonderful 2024 😘

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi I'm the anon who liked the girl L. There's nothing particularly memorable about my last rant to remember it by 😭 but you replied to it on July 29 if you need some context about my situation

So I got over L. The problem is, I now like one of her friends, J, who's even worse than her. I told A and D about it. A disapproves of her even more than she disapproved of L. D used to be friends with her last year, and she says J's nice when she's not with her friends. Here's the thing, J is friends with the entitled rich kids, not to mention homophobic, who constantly break rules, like, teachers are sick of them, and she doesn't act much differently around them.

I've spoken to her, maybe twice, once when I needed a seat so I could convince someone to move from a place where I wanted to sit, and once last year when she and one of her friends got D into trouble during our batch trip by bringing something they were specifically told not to bring while rooming with her. All our friends (D's and mine) wanted her to mitigate their punishment by ratting out her friends (selfish, I know, but we didn't really care much about anyone but D at that moment).

Here's the thing, once someone is humanised to me, it's very hard to not see them differently. She refused to rat out her friends, but they (same group, not the same people) make her the scapegoat so often, including in front of one of her teachers who specifically said that she had a bad opinion about any student of hers that she saw behaving badly even outside her class. I mean, she probably doesn't care, she's one of those people who'll end up working in their family business. She's alone sometimes, even when her friends (L and co.) are literally around. I have a feeling that being friends with the girls who kicked L and co out of their group has made them like her less. Quite literally, on her birthday, she was with the other girl she roomed with last year, and no one else from either of her friend groups. L and co. didn't even go looking for her.

I feel bad for her, but when she's around the spoilt rich kids of our school, she acts exactly like them. She's twice as bitchy as L was. I have no idea how or why I like her, because I've talked to her a handful of times and during one of them I was extremely pissed off at her existence. She's pretty though, and good for fake scenarios. I promised A that there wasn't any emotional involvement, but it's quickly turning into one, which is extremely illogical, considering that she's probably straight (D thinks that her homophobia could just be a defence mechanism to fit in) and is unattainable. Even if she liked girls, she wouldn't like me, because well, she's skinny af and I'm curvaceous and her opinion of me is probably lower than L's in terms of my physical appearance. As for my personality, I have this frenemy in the same class, and we argue so loudly and egoistically that it probably makes me even more unlikeable than I already am.

I'm sorry for the second long rant, I have a bad habit of rambling once I start talking about stuff like this.

Hi!

Hmmm okay so yeah, as much as you sometimes can't help your feelings for people, this person doesn't sound that great. However, it does seem like you're making a lot of assumptions about someone you don't actually know all that well. What if you get to know her more? As you do, be honest with yourself about what type of person she its. If she ends up being kind of a jerk, hopefully that'll help your feelings go away. But if she doesn't, then maybe some of those assumptions were based off of things you need to rethink, you know?

naming you july 29th anon