#it could've been ten times longer (threat)

[insomnya777]

elaborating because i can and a couple people asked me to and we all know that all i need is a little encouragement to get me going

under the cut because i'm a grade-a yapper and this is going to be LONG. like super long. i've pulled up lyrics and songs and everything. <- your final warning

1. joel as sabrina

so no one really disagreed with me on this one and i don't think anyone will just because of the fact that he references her in his videos but like. i'm still going to talk about it because i want to and this is my blog and You Can't Stop Me!!!!!

if you don't know sabrina carpenter, basically just know that she's charismatic & confident & hilarious & gorgeous. plus like all of her songs are sooo him! they're fun and light and always a hit!!! but also can be scathing if they need to be!!!! her humour especially reminds me of him (as a character) because it's like ironic and self-aware but also flirty and silly but also a little twisted and a little mean. in particular i think that the cocky (not the word that describes it best but it's the only one i can think of) side of herself that she shows during her concerts reminds me a lot of joel with his whole "oh i'm so tall and handsome" bit he's got going on

literally like i don't know what more i can say to this. my dude has multiple of her songs in his playlist, he used espresso in his video, and also one of his tools on hermitcraft is named after a lyric. it's canon guys 🙏

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

espresso — i can't relate to desperation, my give-a-fucks are on vacation

read your mind — oh, i'll be laughing when you say that you really have changed, finally found your way, 'cuz i'm close to your face

tornado warnings — i deserve an hour in a week to focus on my thoughts, not so obsessed with yours i can't hear myself speak

lonesome — if i fall in love with all my problems, will they leave me too?

things i wish you said — nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks i'm fucking rude

bed chem — who's the cute boy with the white jacket and the thick accent?!

don't smile — don't smile 'cuz it happened, baby, cry because it's over

good graces — baby, you say you really like it, being mine, so let me give you some advice!

2. grian as taylor

okay this one is VERY personal to me. i am so unhealthily attached to him as taylor. you're probably thinking: but, nya, he literally canonically has an alter ego named after ariana grande! and i raise you this point: i simply do not care

all jokes obviously. i can see why people see him as ariana! especially in her new album, i've listened to it a lot, and i definitely can see some songs that remind me of his character - cough, cough, we can't be friends (wait for your love) - but i've got to say that ariana to me has always been scar (or maybe even a bit of jimmy? undecided) but that's a post for another time

now why i see grian as taylor! i have three main reasons for this actually. as an og swiftie and an og grian fan i may be a little bit biased but just. ignore that. thanks

first of all, i think that they're both kind of starting points, if you get what i mean. most hermitcraft/life series fans start with grian, and then eventually branch out to other creators. similarly, a lot of people listen to taylor swift/know her songs the best out of the genre she specializes in/within the audience her content is aimed towards

secondly, they're also both the most popular within their own branch, and i think they're both the type of artists/channels that you can enjoy without really being a Fan of. almost mainstream (? don't know if that's the term that would work for grian but you get my point). like you don't have to be a diehard grian fan to enjoy his videos, you can just decide one day to pick up one of them, watch it, then never think of it again. does that make sense?

third, i think they both have a lot of variety within their content. taylor's music ranges between emotions and styles, just like the videos that grian makes fluctuates in theme. he's on servers like hermitcraft, where we see him interact with other people and show off his building skills and just be silly. then he's in the life series, which is the total opposite, and then he was also in evo, which is also very different, and so on. his characterization also is very different from author to author, which is, of course, to be expected, but i haven't really seen other people in this particular fandom get characterized so differently to this degree. (it's not a bad thing!!!! i love it i think it's actually sooo fun & interesting that we can take this character and morph it into what we want. like most people don't even realize they're doing it you can only really pick up on it if you're looking for it)

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

castles crumbling — and you don't want to know me, i will just let you down

begin again — thinking all love ever does is break, and burn, and end

22 — happy, free, confused, and lonely at the same time

call it what you want — and i know i make the same mistakes every time, bridges burn, i never learn, at least i did one thing right

the archer — 'cuz all of my enemies started out friends, help me hold on to you

don't blame me — for you, i would cross the line, i would waste my time, i would lose my mind

hoax — stood on the cliffside, screaming "give me a reason"

this is me trying — and my words shoot to kill when i'm mad, i have a lot of regrets about that

my tears ricochet — you know i didn't want to have to haunt you, but what a ghostly scene

mad woman — what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back? they strike to kill, and you know i will

the prophecy — please, i've been on my knees, change the prophecy. don't want money, just someone who wants my company

3. jimmy as olivia

i'll be real with you, i have considerably less reasons for why i've chosen this. it relates a lot around his interactions with other characters instead of just him as a character + i've taken a few creative liberties here so. cut me someeee slack!

my main reason for this is that jimmy is just the epitome of teenage girl to me (just like olivia). that's probably a little bit of projection on my side because i, myself, am a teenage girl (which i don't know if many of you know? but yes i am a teenager) and jimmy's probably my favourite which leads to me kind of distorting his character a little. but. i don't know. something about the not being taken seriously, the refusal to give up, the insistence that this time will be different just hits me so hard/is relatable. not to get all serious on you

i will say this, though - while sabrina as joel was about both sabrina carpenter the person (or the person that the world knows) and also her music, i think for olivia as jimmy, it's mainly about the music. but you can also relate her relationships with other people (what we know of them, at least) to jimmy's with scott tango grian whatever. i think they do parallel each other pretty well, but, again, that's another post

i also think that jimmy's a lot more sour, not so much guts. olivia's first album revolves around that idea of heartbreak, jealousy, angst. i think his character usually revolves around themes like that. guts, olivia's second album, to me, is a little different. she's grown as a person, reflecting, and she's a lot more confident, too. it shows in her music. i think that jimmy (especially in the life series) is overall very, very sour coded, but then again, there are many songs on guts that definitely can be related to him too.

songs that i think are the most him + specific lyrics:

love is embarrassing — jesus, what was i even doing? 'cuz now it don't mean a thing, god, love's fucking embarrassing

ballad of a homeschooled girl — each time i step outside, it's social suicide

the grudge — i'm so tough when i'm alone, and i'll make you feel so guilty, and i fantasize about a time you're a little fucking sorry

teenage dream — when are all my excuses of "learning my lesson" gonna start to feel sad?

brutal — all i did was try my best, this the kind of thanks i get?

jealousy, jealousy — their win is not my loss, i know it's true but i can't help getting caught up in it all. comparison is killing me slowly

favourite crime — one heart broke, four hands bloody

1 step forward, 3 steps back — i hate that i give you power over that kind of stuff

THE END!!!!! i hope you enjoyed reading this as much as i enjoyed writing this and let me know your thoughts 🫶 always up for some debate!!!

if joel is sabrina carpenter coded (& he is trust) then grian is taylor and jimmy is olivia rodrigo. no i will not be taking criticism but i am fully willing to elaborate

[a-b-riddle]

Taken Chapter Ten: A New Reality

Warnings: Religious Trauma, Cult, Forced Marriage, Kidnapping, Stalking, Stockholm Syndrome, Non-Con, Dub-Con. Violence against women. Threats and intimidation. Childhood Trauma.

By the time Elizabeth finally pushed through the fog that had consumed her entire being it was well into the afternoon. Even if the storm clouds no longer loomed menacingly in the sky, the sun would be setting soon enough. She had been awake for nearly half an hour, but whatever Bucky had given her had kept her cognitive, but immobile.

Her body was heavy. Her limbs weighing her down into the soft, feathery duvet. The only sensation she could detect was the pain in her feet. A sharp, stinging pain.

'Those god damn pine needles.' She thought bitterly.

Although they stung, the small cuts in her feet would heal soon. A day or two of having to walk with caution. It wouldn't be nearly as bad as stone bruises.

She remembered running from the compound the first time. The padding of her bare feet had stepped on a rock in just the right (or more so wrong) spot. Pain scaled up from her heel to the back of her knees. It didn't make her fall, but slowed her down enough to be caught.

In all, she was never really good at running. Today's little attempt made that very clear. Hiding was her forte. Maybe if had she concealed herself somewhere in the woods she would have had a better shot of escaping the super soldiers.

But should've, would've, could've.

And before she could even think about making another attempt at getting away, she needed to be able to move.

Moving was the first step. She could figure out the rest later.

Elizabeth started wiggling her toes, gaining what control she could get over her body little by little. The remnants of the quaaludes still swam in her system. Any type of sedative always seemed to hit her harder than it would most people. She always blamed her size.

Yet, one would think after so many years she should have built some sort of tolerance by now. Granted, this was better than the K-comas of her teenage years but she had put on a considerable amount of weight since then. Quaaludes and ketamine were two different things, but her circumstances not so much.

Either way, she was rendered helpless.

Slowly, but surely she got enough stability and strength to pull the duvet off of her body. The covers feeling like they were filled with stones rather than of goose feathers. Although her skin had become slick with a thin sheen of sweat, she had no desire to get out from underneath the comfort and protection of the thick blanket.

But she needed to get up. She needed to move.

After a few feeble (and quite pathetic) attempts to push herself up, she accepted that she would just have to wait; wait for him.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Everything, all of it just seemed so surreal. If someone had told her what he would have done, she wouldn't have believed it. She knew Bucky.

Or at least she thought she did.

Bucky was kind and thoughtful. He was funny and made her feel like nothing bad could happen even as the world around them was falling apart. Bucky was good. Bucky loved her.

God.

He fucking said he loved her.

The weight those words carried meant nothing now. Someone who loves you wouldn't do this. And maybe he never really did love her. That was probably the most painful part of it all. Elizabeth had prided herself for keeping up that wall, holding her barrier strong.

But with Bucky... everything was just so easy. It was easy to let those walls crumble. She had let herself trust him with very little reservations and look what it had cost her. She had let herself dream too far from reality and it had cost her everything.

The reality was that Bucky was and is still capable of hurting her. The reality was she had essentially isolated herself from anyone who could potentially help her. The reality was she had let herself get into this situation. As much as she currently hated and wanted to blame Bucky for lying to her all this time, Elizabeth found the only person she could truly blame was herself.

The sound of the doorknob pulled her out of her self-induced guilt trip. In that time she never moved from her position on the bed. Laying on her back, staring blankly at the wall.

She tried to cast her eyes toward the door, lifting her head up almost hopeful. But the remembrance that it could only be one person made her feel foolish; her hope quickly dying.

It has him.

Of course it was him.

Nothing had physically changed about him; his still sporting the same shaggy hair cut. His eyes the same piercing blue. Yet, he looked entirely different. The sparkle gone from his smile. His face no longer one she could trust, seek comfort in.

"Hope you're feeling better." It was astonishing how casual he sounded. As if she wasn't his prisoner and this was still just their romantic couples getaway. He leaned against the door way. Hands buried in the pockets of his faded blue jeans. His Henley perfectly covering his toned arms.

Fucking. Asshole.

"I was hoping you wouldn't be out long, but I'm afraid you missed lunch." HA! As if she had any sort of appetite. It was a tie between his presence and the drugs still in her system that were causing her current wave nausea. She let her head fall back against the pillows, remaining silent. Staring at the ceiling as if it were the most intriguing thing in that moment.

It was easier to blink back the tears that were beginning to form. It was easier to not look at him. It was easier to hear Bucky's familiar voice when a complete stranger stood in his place.

Bucky let out a sigh. He had honestly prepared himself for an all out tantrum. Screaming, crying, things flying toward his head-- if she could have mustered up the strength maybe she would have. He had expected to be called a monster, a pervert and every other foul thing she no doubt thought of him now.

Her silence was worse.

Her silence meant that she was going to take a bit longer to break. She wasn't fighting him -- yet. It was the yet he hated waiting for. Would it be tomorrow? Next week? When would she finally make the attempt to escape?

It was all a waiting game and he had waited long enough for his little bird.

"Just wanted to check in. Wanted to see if I could get you anything." He was once more met with silence. Even the sound of her breathing was so soft even his enhanced hearing barely picked up on it. "Anyway, I'll be back to bring you down for dinner."

Elizabeth lifted her head up ever so slightly. Staring back at him so intently her gaze felt like it was going through him. He had expected her to hate him, prepared for it. He had gotten used to how she looked at him in both her bashful glances and smitten stares.

But he would be lying if he said it didn't slightly rattle him. He expected her to show some sort of emotion. Anger, sadness, fear, utter disbelief, but instead he got nothing. She had always been so easy to read. When she was nervous at their first encounter like a scared doe, eyes wide and mouth slightly open. How when she was happy she practically warmed up the room she was in. Elizabeth Snow had been an open book.

But as Bucky looked back at her, just as intently as she did him, he saw nothing. It didn't mean the anger or the fury wasn't there.

No.

She just did well at hiding it.

Bucky said nothing more before he gave a curt nod and shut the door behind him. When the door clicked shut, she didn't move a hair. She stared at the door waiting until she could hear his footsteps slowly fading before she laid her heavy head back down.

What Bucky didn't know was this wasn't her first time being caged.

By him? Yes. But she knew what he would expect. She knew he would expect her to cry and beg and plead. He would have his guard up no doubt; something she obviously should have done with him.

He would be waiting for her to attempt to escape. The windows were no doubt sealed shut. The doors locked and any possible exits secured.

All this was was a waiting game. She knew Bucky could only be on his toes for so long before he slipped. And if she needed to wait, so be it. Elizabeth had made the grim discovery that once you make your first attempt, they come down a million times harder to ensure you don't try it again.

She had gotten off easy in her opinion. Some drugs to knock her out and waking up in a most likely locked room. She wasn't 100% sure as she hadn't checked but it was a good guess. Bucky didn't know her past, but he wasn't stupid. He knew to lock the door behind him.

She needed to be able to keep track of time. Bucky said it had only been a few hours. Something about a missed lunch? Today just meant it was Day 1.

This was her starting point.

Bucky came back several hours later. Her window revealed a pitch-black scene where she could barely make out the outline of the trees; the moon hiding behind the clouds. She had finally managed to still upright, but still too disorientated to stand upright.

He was still wearing that stupid fucking shirt she had loved him in. "I made dinner." He said, almost like a parent speaking to a child they had scolded too harshly mere hours ago. His tone was soft, coaxing. It made her sick. "Why don't we go downstairs and eat?"

That part was ironically shocking given this whole situation. In their entire time together, Bucky had never once cooked dinner. Either she did or one of them got takeout. She knew it was a ploy.

That's what men did.

They would do something out of 'kindness' yet expect something in return. Bucky was no different than the rest of them.

Eventually after so many good deeds she 'owed' them. It didn't matter. A paid dinner, help moving, even walking her home just to make sure she got back to her place okay. It didn't matter. Nothing was really ever free. And all the help Bucky had given her in their time together had cost Elizabeth her freedom.

She nodded but made no attempt to move. She knew what she had to do but gave herself a minute to gather the strength to do it. Elizabeth took a deep breath in her nose before letting it out her mouth. 'I can do this.' She told herself.

"I need help." She said softly, careful to conceal her anger. Bucky approached her, prepared for her to do something that would only get her into trouble. Elizabeth remained as stiff as a board as he placed his arms underneath her; picking her up bridal style.

"If not given the circumstances, this would be pretty romantic." He tried to joke. She didn't react. Not a scornful glare, not so much as a side eye of disapproval. She kept her eyes down, staring at nothing in particular.

She remained just as stoic as he carried her out of the room and toward the kitchen. Given the fact that Bucky had never cooked a dinner, whatever he made didn't smell half bad. A cooked roast and vegetables was laid out on a silver platter that probably cost the equivalent of one month of rent for Elizabeth's long forgotten apartment. 

The kitchen island also had a plastic tub of what looked like microwaved mashed potatoes still in the black plastic container it came with along with. Hot rolls rested on the baking tray that Bucky had pulled out from the oven right before he went up to grab her. "It's nothing special." He sat her down on a hightop chair before picking up a fine china plate. He knew that although his spread wasn't exactly as put together as hers usually was, surely she would appreciate the gesture. "Eventually I'll start letting you cook again when I can trust you around sharp objects."

She knew it was meant to be a joke, but couldn't find the strength to give a half-ass sharp exhale through her nostrils in amusement. 'Nothing about this is funny.' She wanted to spit out, but held her tongue and kept her poker face.

Bucky took note of her silence to continue speaking even though all she wanted him to do was just shut the hell up.  "I'm not expecting you to be okay with this all at once." He said as he piled on a huge piece of meat on her plate along with some of the roasted mushrooms and carrots he didn't bother peeling before throwing them into the crockpot. "But you'll realize soon enough I only want the best for you. For us."

She sat quiet as he spooned on the mashed potatoes and a roll. Even is she were actually hungry--hell, even if she was down right ravenous- she still couldn't finish all of the food he had just scooped onto the plate he just put in front of her. 

Bucky gave himself the same heaping portions and sat himself opposite of her on the other side of the counter. "I would offer wine, but I don't think it would be a good idea with you still coming off of the sedative." How thoughtful. Now he was concerned over her well-being. 

"No wine, but could I have a knife. I need to cut the meat." She spoke evenly although she felt like Bucky could see the outline of her heart trying to pound its way out of her chest. 

"It's been cooking for hours. Use your fork." He poked the tender meat with his own fork to prove a point before putting it in his mouth. 

"I couldn't even get out of the bed. Do you really think I could hurt you with a butter knife?" She said it with a soft hint of humor in her voice, pretending that their entire situation wasn't fucked up. But she knew that was what was going to get her out of her. It's what saved her before. Pretending that she was docile. Pretending that she was obedient. 

Bucky gave a soft chuckle in response. He could see her light was still there. Not completely extinguished from the day's events. "I never know what toexpect from you, Birdie. Can't be too careful." Although the meal appearedappetizing enough, the false narrative of it all made her stomach churn indisgust.

She dug the side of her fork through the chuck roast. He was right. Fork tender.

They sat there in unbridled silence. Several minutes passing before Bucky was almost halfway through his meal and Elizabeth had barely touched her own. Bucky took a moment from stuffing his face to notice that she hadn't touched anything. "Do you want salt?" He asked, oblivious as to why she wasn't eating.

"Why did you do it?" She asked, preparing herself for his mask to drop again, visibly cringing away from him as if he were going to combust. Bucky would be lying if he said he didn't hate it. He didn't want her afraid, but if it took her fear to make her obedient then so be it. 

"I wanted you and you needed me." He said it so matter-so-factly she had to stop her jaw from dropping. "You and you barely survived working that shitty job or even living on your own. You needed someone to take care of you." Is that what he really thought? That she needed him to kidnap her and hold her prisoner in the middle of nowhere?

"You were always such a doll and not bad on the eyes." He continued, finishing up the last few bites of his meal. "You were a sweet girl. It all worked out for the best."

"Me being nice doesn't explain why you brought me here. Why you kidnapped me, Bucky." She said it with no anger or malice. She spoke softly as if she were talking to a child who didn't fully understand the gravity of the situation. Now that did irritate him. Bucky was no longer the hollow shell that he was before. He was a person--a man. "I can take care of myself. I was."

"Well," he gave a tight lipped smile. "You being nice," the word was said with such venom she recoiled, shrinking back further. "sure made it a whole lot easier to get close to you."  His words felt like a slap to the face. He pointed his chin toward her plate, signaling her to eat. 

Elizabeth remained still, her hands placed in her lap as Bucky continued to speak. Bucky could feel himself becoming agitated. "Plus you couldn't exactly take care of yourself when quarantine started. You were jobless. You had nowhere to go. No one to rely. Not a single friend." He stood up from his seat, rounding the counter to stand next to her.

His vibranium arm rest on the counter top, a stark reminder that Bucky was more than just a man. He was unlike any man she had ever encountered. Bucky seemed to tower over her as he spoke, she stared down at her plate, shoulders hunched as if she thought making herself smaller would save her from any of the blows he could deliver with possible fatal consequences.

"You didn't have anyone. No one who would even bother checking in on you if you were to go missing." She could feel a fresh batch of tears forming. He was right. As much as she wanted to call him a complete fucking psycho he was actually right. She would have been homeless. She would have starved or been exposed to the virus if he didn't let her stay cooped up in the tower with him all those months during the quarantine.

Bucky knew he had won when he saw a tear fall onto her hand. He didn't need to see her face to know he had broken through to her. There wasn't a need to continue on being a hard-ass. He could ease up. Good Cop, Bad Cop as Steve suggested. Show her that he could be kind and gentle and that he can also be stern and have a firm hand.

"Face it, Doll." He said, his right arm coming up behind her to rub her back soothingly. "You needed me and that's okay." Part of him wanted her to keep riling him up just enough for him to feel justified in putting her over his lap. He had been itching to punish her for nearly the past year of playing so hard to get those first few months. He gave her a kiss on the top of her head. "Eat before it gets too cold." He ordered before stepping away and retrieving his plate.

He had his back turned toward her as he rinsed off his dishes. She made no move to take a single bite; her stomach still reeling at his proximity, his intimidation only moments early. She swallowed down the lump in her throat, a cry threatening to work its way up and tear her to shreds.

"I still feel nauseous." She said as soon as he turned off the faucet. "I think it's the sedative."

"Then just the bread." He relented, wiping his hands dry on a rag. "You need to eat. I'm not letting you go on some bullshit hunger strike." She nodded before picking up the roll and breaking off a small piece before putting it in her mouth.

"I won't." She promised and, even if he didn't believe her, she meant it. She didn't need to go on a hunger strike. Bucky could easily make her eat, even if he had to shove it down her throat and she needed the strength if she was ever going to get out of here.

Chapter Eleven: Rules

[meglyfer]

Noa

Noa is the soul of kindness Your friendly human neighbour. He may have been just a couple months around the Underground, but everyone already knows and love him, well, the ones that are open to give a human a chance. But really, how could you not love him? Since the moment he arrived he's been very nice to everyone, helping people, and being friendly even with those who were mean to him. He even went down standing up for monsters against a human threat. He loved cooking. More than that, he loved cooking for his friends and those who needed a meal, the joy on their faces was everything to him. Maybe if he hadn't left so soon he would've turned into a Cheff one day. Fun fact: He buys all his clothing on Hot Topic. Since there were no Hot Topics on the Underground, he taught himself how to sew to make his own clothes.

Clarice

He was the soul of bravery. She was someone very energic and loud. Not everyone's cup of tea when looking for a friend, but certainly someone fun to have around. Good neighbour for the people of the ruins, though sometimes the monsters would ask Toriel to tell "her child" to calm down a bit. He would often offer herself to do task other people don't want to do, either becuase they just don't want to do it, or because it's something dangerous. He is a bit impulsive. Well, very impulsive. Being very brave means that sometimes you won't be scared of the consequences of somthing. She wasn't scared of playing too close to the giant whole in the mountain, and look where it got him.

Adila

The soul of justice. Arrived to the Underground for that very same purpose. Heard stories about how the humans that fall in there never return, as they were killed by the monsters living there. She wasn't sure about those stories at first, but she had a change of perspective when a boy from her twon, Noa, fell in there and never returned. She thought of him dead, and went down there seeking justice for him, and all the humans before him. If she had known the real story of the monsters she would have helped them instead, but someone else missguided her and drowned her with false stories about the monsters' atrocities. She is obbsessed with cowboys. Strong people that do the hard work and are loyal to their beliefs and their people. And gun fights are awesome. She knows most of what she knows about cowboys is probably romantization of the media, and that real cowboys are probably nothing like what she sees in movies, but she doesn't care, because either way she is still true to her beliefs of loyalty, justice, hard work, and doing what must be done. She can look like a bit of an asshole from the outside with that stern face all the time, but after some time having her around you realise she just isn't good at communication. She gives a hand to anyone who needs it, but don't expect her to give you answers longer than ten words. Not to mention she can be a bit rude sometimes, lacking a filter for her words or saying things straight foward, which people are not a fan of. She's not mean, she just has trouble with people. If you get to know her really well, you realise she's a big softie in the inside.

Asgore

He is so fucking depressed, like, you have no idea. It's been 56 years since his second child died and he somtimes still cries himself to sleep about it, maybe once a month. As you may be thinking, he is not handling things well. He is not all the time thinking about it, of course, he may be sad but he still have things to do. He has friends who visit often to get his mind off things, to cheer him up, have a good time, but if he's left alone his mind will eventually go back to that day his first child died and the other where the other one did too, and think about what he could've done differently to keep them with him. He is also in regret for his more recent actions. After years of thinking he realised that declaring war too humans was not a good thing, but he can't take it back anymore. He spmetimes wish that the last human never falls, so he would not have to take himself and his people back to the battle field, so he would not have to burry another kid, so he would not have to absorb the souls of those children, who died for a choice he made blinded by anger.

Ingrid

The soul of integrity. Threw herself into the Underground looking for their little sister Sabrina, feeling at fault for her ending up there. She loves dancing, more specifically ballet. Her agility and speed gained on dancing would eventually serve them a lot in the Underground, dodging attacks, avoiding fights and escaping the ones she already got into. They're polite to people, but doesn't really get involved with people they don't know. They mind their bussiness and she minds her, that's the way the world is supposed to go. She'd love to have a hand looking for her sisters, but it's their fault that she ended up there, so they must be the one to find little Sabrina.

[idiopath-fic-smile]

so hello, have another song inspired by @greatunironic's the most remarkable thing about you standing in the doorway is that it’s you. here is my rendition of the closing track on Girl With A Buzzcut, "Chrissy's Song."

in the context of the story, my guess is that this is one that eddie wrote and rewrote for a long time. (i mean, there's canonically a ten-minute version; that doesn't just happen). i think he finished writing this version shortly after moving to seattle, when for the first time in a long time, he had a sense of the possibilities ahead of him—but also, by then he had a worn-deep habit of framing any milestone of his as something chrissy would never get to experience, so that any moment of triumph was immediately tempered by guilt and grief. i think as he grows up, he learns to stop tormenting himself about it quite as much, but also, for every year older he gets, he realizes how young chrissy really was. you know how it is: in some ways it gets easier, and it some ways, it gets harder.

i think if there was ever a time he'd perform this song live, he no longer does now.

lyrics under the cut:

You did not remember me the second time we met and yet

I knew you weren't the kind of girl people could forget and yet

I've seen the lights of chicago stuck my toes into the tides the places you will never be it never will feel right This one's for Chrissy, who had nowhere else to go This one's for Chrissy, dragged out by the undertow We could've been friends but now we'll never know This one's for Chrissy

You cheered in the sunshine while I snuck a cigarette and yet

The boys who claimed they knew you only saw your silhouette and yet

I carry something with me something long past due They say I got a raw deal but shit, what about you? This one's for Chrissy, who had nowhere else to go This one's for Chrissy, dragged out by the undertow We could've been friends but now we'll never know This one's for Chrissy

God, someone should've helped you should've understood the threat and yet

Now I can't see you clearly beyond the guilt and debt and yet

I've seen the lights of chicago seen the california sun Miles past the cornfields fuck, I turned twenty one

This one's for Chrissy, who had nowhere else to go This one's for Chrissy, dragged out by the undertow We could've been friends but now we'll never know This one's for you, kid

I knew you weren't the kind of girl people could forget and yet—

[loudenver]

Louis felt like a little kid, waiting in the quiet of the bathroom to be dismissed. The overhead light flickered and hummed absently, interrupting the otherwise suffocating silence that hung between Wardo and himself. The fact that Wardo knew, deep down, that Louis hadn't done anything as awful as cheat should've been a relief, a weight off his chest. But anxiety still prickled under his skin, probably because the truth was so much worse, so much more unimaginable, that Wardo had drawn the conclusion that Louis had been unfaithful instead of correctly guessing the reality of the situation. It was merely unthinkable.

And now Wardo didn't want to know. The truth crawled back inside his mouth and dropped, hard and heavy as a stone, to the pit of his stomach. That awful, sinking feeling had resurfaced. If Wardo had given him the green light, would he have let the truth pour out of him ugly and unfiltered? Or would he have bottled it all up, come up with an excuse, and watched Wardo storm angrily from the bar and out of his life?

The threat of unshed tears stung his eyes. He stood, his feet rooted to the dingy flooring under him, paralysed with fear and guilt. Maybe this was it, maybe he just needed to take it, let Wardo be angry and righteous and sharp with his words. Maybe Wardo deserved the right to be angry, too.

"Wardo, I..." he started, the words dying on his lips. He brought the back of his hand up to his mouth, urging his breath not to tremble, his bottom lip not to wobble, and his tears not to fall. He squeezed his eyes tight shut, no longer able to look at him.

"I'm sorry." he murmured, the words inaudible, muffled against his hand as they were. He shook his head, eyes squeezed tight, still feeling like that chastened child.

He'd wanted to give him his once chance to be angry, to scream, to lash out if he wanted. But it hurt too fucking much. Louis heaved a dry sob, rubbing his eyes. Wardo wanted him to feel shit? He felt worse than shit. He felt the lowest of the low. He felt every ounce of the other man's hurt.

"Please stop." he begged, dignity be damned. "I can't take it, kid. I can't, I can't-"

His eyes were closed when he felt the warm, rough press of Wardo's mouth against his own. His eyes widened in surprise, cheeks now wet with tears. Of all the things Wardo could've done... this had been the least expected. Louis' body froze in place for a moment, his hands suspended in the air as Wardo's hands roughly braced either side of his face. He let out a low, throaty noise of surprise. He didn't know what it was like to be kissed like this, it had been so long. Angry, middle of a fight kisses, with clashing teeth and Wardo's hungry hands on his face. He was startled. He was kissing Wardo Martinelli for the first time in ten years.

His chest felt like it was caving in. Because a boy who hated you didn't kiss you.

Instinctively, Louis' hands dropped to the other man's waist, fingers threading through his belt loops. It felt like years since he'd been kissed, it might as well have been years. Because none of the men who'd kissed him had ever been Wardo, even though he'd been searching for him in the dark of every bar for the past decade.

He could feel Wardo breathing raggedly against his mouth, and with a sweet sigh, Louis took the opportunity to slide his tongue between the other man's parted lips. Kissing him felt desperate, urgent, like it could end at any second. It was both incredibly familiar and unknown to him. He hardly realised he was pulling Wardo in until Louis' back hit the wall, the taller man braced against him.

It was anger, and sheer lust, and kissing Wardo, Louis had to admit that Max had been right. Wardo wasn't over him. It didn't feel like a victory, and it didn't make Louis smug. It cracked his heart in two, because this was their closure. Neither of them had truly gotten over the other in all that time apart, and it had culminated in this. Two angry, broken people venting their frustrations, their heartbreak, the only way they knew how.

"Fuck." he hissed against his mouth, tongue swiping his bottom lip briefly before he moved back in to kiss him again. He hoped he never resurfaced.

It was the stupidest thing in the world, for Wardo to hide out in the bathroom, too scared of what Louis Denver would tell him, to come out.

He’d spent years wondering what had potentially caused the apparent breakdown of their relationship, and since Louis’ return there had been very little time spent not pressuring the other man into telling him why. He’d claimed that he wanted to know, wanted to know what he’d done wrong, what had suddenly been the last straw that had prompted Louis to declare that enough was enough and leave him. He’d genuinely thought that he wanted to know it all.

Now, he was hunched over a bathroom sink in a ramshackle bar, the overhead light flickering above him and doing nothing to quell the nausea rising at the back of his throat.

What the fuck was he doing?

If Louis turned around and did tell him that he had cheated, then surely that would be it. Wardo would know what had happened and then he’d have some sort of closure. Everything he’d been left wondering about for ten years would suddenly have an answer, but even thinking about it just made him feel achingly empty. He didn’t want it to be that. He wasn’t even sure that it was that, although how sure he had been of Louis’ devotion to him surely meant nothing when he’d also been wholly confident that the other man would never leave him. Maybe twenty-year-old Wardo’s faith in Louis didn’t count for jackshit these days.

The door creaked open behind him and he almost hoped it was some drunken punter stumbling in to take a piss while he was having a mental breakdown, instead of who he already knew it was. He kept his eyes trained on the basin of the sink, the cracks in the porcelain, the grime circling the drain. His eyes shuttered closed when he heard Louis speak.

“I know,” he said, when Louis assured him he hadn’t cheated on him. Somehow, he was sure of that.

He pushed back from the sink a little, standing properly and forcing himself to look at the other man, whose expression was open and earnest as he told Wardo he wouldn’t do that to him. Deep down, Wardo thought he knew that but there had also once been a laundry list of things that Wardo had once believed Louis would never do to him, and abandoning him without a reason had once been number one.  Now, that list meant nothing.

“I believe you, but…”

Frustrated, he tugged at his hair, clumps of it forever sticking up in wayward directions, on the verge of being so overgrown he’d be due to text Cecily soon to see if she could come over and cut it for him. He’d ask Ivy, but ever since growing older and maturing, he’d also developed a certain amount of self-preservation which made the idea of Ivy Rogers holding a pair of scissors near his jugular completely unappealing. He liked to keep his carotid arteries intact these days.

“I’m not even sure I want to know,” he admitted, shaking his head in disbelief at his own words. “It’s been ten years and I’ve told myself that all I wanted to know is what made you go. I thought I wanted to know.”

It felt like he was standing in front of Louis and peeling his own skin off layer by layer to reveal the messy, heartbroken boy underneath. Like he’d been keeping the Wardo Martinelli of 2013 locked away in a little compartment, to protect him from the stares of any onlookers that might delight in his misery, and now he was finally letting someone take a peek at him. It made a sick sort of poetic sense that the person in question was the one who’d left him so devastated.

“I don’t know what I want, but ever since you came back, I’ve felt like I can’t fucking breathe,” he said. He wasn’t just talking about the tweets and the speculation online and the goddamn exposure that had dredged up memories from his past that he’d tried so hard to let stay buried. How the fuck did an online teenager from Minnesota manage to get his juvie record anyway? Freaks. 

But it wasn’t just that. It was the fact that he couldn’t look Louis Denver in the eye and wish him harm. Pathetically, he wanted the other man to look at him, to see Wardo and remember that there were good parts hidden within him that he’d liked once upon a time because he’d taken the time to look for them. He wanted the mere sight of him and the haircut that hadn’t changed in a decade to encourage Louis to look again, to look at Wardo and see something that had disappeared from sight before, enough for him to turn his back on the other man. Wardo hadn’t ever felt that weak about anyone and it terrified him. Was he ever going to be able to move on from this man?

“I want to hate you so bad. You left me.” He bit out the words, feeling them drag up against the back of his throat like gravel, the delivery of them leaving him sounding wounded. “I thought that if I ever saw you again, I’d want to tell you how shit it was. So I could make you hurt, because I fucking hurt, Lou. And I wanted to make you feel like shit, but I just…”

Wardo had always been reckless and impulsive. Ivy probably had a ranking of his most impressively absurd moments of reckless abandon tucked away somewhere, but even she would have to admit that this one took the cake. This moment being Wardo making a frustrated, angry noise and crossing the tiled floor of the bathroom, reaching Louis Denver and taking the other man’s face in his hands to drag him forward in a harsh kiss.

[bookwyrminspiration]

It's Nilnaea and I have a great angst idea. What if Sophie went to the Forbidden Cities and saw Amy, but Amy was already in her 30s/40s and didn't remember Sophie anymore? This would tie in with a theory I have that the Lost Cities exists outside the scope of time. So, for example, one year in the Lost Cities could be ten years in the Forbidden Cities. This is a thing that happens in fairy stories. I listened to a podcast once about Irish folklore where a king went off to a fairy place, and when he came back, decades had passed.

Anyway, Sophie would see Amy who has a wife and ten dogs and is simultaneously 'I could've had that' and 'I need to keep the world safe so Amy doesn't lose what she has'. And it kind of sinks in that she no longer has any ties to the human world and that those who remembered her from school, etc., declared her a cold case because she was never found. And in a way she becomes more like a fairy creature and untethered to the world. I think it is very interesting.

one word: yes. this hurts and I love it and desperately want it.

also I love messing with time!! All the implications and devastation it can wreak...so good. In one of my oc stories time and messing with time plays a huge role, part of why I've been avoiding working on it for so long because I need to thoroughly plan everything from the beginning; i could take it in a go with the flow approach, but that wouldn't have the same effect that I want. but that's besides the point--I love it when time doesn't align!!

Amy forgetting Sophie would hurt her so much, but I think deep down she might be like. Okay. This was how everything was supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to be part of their world and now i'm not and I can leave them. But there would be so much despair and angst wrapped up in that!!

I've seen it happen a few times in faerie stories (probably not that specific podcast, though), but I think most of the one's i've seen have the character come out after everyone is dead or elderly (It's been a while since I read a story like this so I don't remember). And that way there's no lingering connection--they may see the descendants of people they used to know and recognize features, but it's not the people they know. So having Amy be middle aged...that's a person that's still going to exist for a while. And that's her person. That the sister she grew up with--and then there's the element of her realizing she'll never get to grow old like that! I don't know if she'd mourn the idea of growing old, but more so the idea of normalcy it promises. Because people who grow old are safe. People who grow up are the people who survive. And Amy gets to be one of them without any threats anymore.

Don't mind me, just gonna internally scream (/pos) about the idea of Sophie becoming more inhuman. I love inhuman things so much!! I know this would be painful for her because all she ever wanted was acceptance and it's becoming less and less attainable, but I can't help but be a little excited about the idea.

Sophie had so few ties to the human world in the first place that I imagine loosing the one she had left would be devastating. Before she knew she was an elf she had her family--that was really it. She didn't have any friends, didn't have any concrete plans for the future or any interests. And then she lost the connection to her whole family--but then she got Amy back. But loosing Amy again...I think it would really sink in for her then that she wasn't human.

Repeatedly throughout the series she struggles to use the "right" language, referring to elves as other because she doesn't see herself as one of them. I don't think she saw herself as fully human ever, but I think that was closer than being an elf. And now it's farther away. Now she realizes that she never was close to human, she was just emotionally close to one human and couldn't let her go. I just think it'd be an interesting mental shift for her to have!

also I hope Amy and her wife and ten dogs are having a splendid time wherever they are. I personally choose to believe that Amy's wife is a scientist. Why? No idea. But it's such a sweet idea for them to have a little life together. So good!!

[steampunkforever]

Duel is a fantastic example of Spielberg's new hollywood shine that we didn't really get a good look at before he hit the big time. Obviously Jaws is the other good look that we got, but after that everything was pretty much Hollywood blockbuster. Not that the genius didn't shine through before, but a certain creativity comes out of budget restraints.

Duel is certainly a movie with one of those restraints. A classic "Just one guy driving in his car" movie, it does a lot with very little. The only time you see other people is in the very specific instances where Spielberg realized what many "one guy driving in his car" movies don't, which is that sustained shots of one guy driving his car aren't exactly great cinema usually, unless we're getting into advanced avant garde cinematographic techniques, which that sort of film rarely does. Even so, the movie is thrilling, fun, and in some places definitely tense. In many ways it draws from the films of the silent era as the nameless, faceless antagonist does nothing but honk and rev to communicate his wrath. The aspect of threat is delivered much in the style of a Buster Keaton film or that one where the train is coming right at you, watch out!

Though I'm glad Spielberg got big (how else would we get the screen adaptation of Ready player One?) I can't help but wonder how good he could've been had he stayed more underground. Or at least underground for longer. That's always a risk here with conjecture over artists and their careers. Of many an artist you can ask "would he have been better with less initial success [ie selling out] or would he have quit to become a plumber if art wasn't making him rich?"

Of course it's all conjecture after all, but I can think of many a director who needs to be given a tight budget, ten days to shoot the thing, and then sent out into the desert with the edict to come up with something good. Maybe we should expand this into a government program, like the draft. Every time art gets a tad stale they randomly select a few directors to go make something original and spice things up.

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

Dating Bucky Barnes in secret would include...

Bucky Barnes x reader, avengers x reader (platonic), Steve Roger's x reader (platonic)

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: I can't really remember, insecurity, there are a few swears, fluff, general stuff like that. No smut :)

A/n: two posts in one day? Who is she. I was really determined to write these and it was quite enjoyable, hope ya'll like it - Aphrodite :D

• So. Much. Sneaking. Around.

• However, you and Buck were already really close before you started dating, so you got away with loads of suspicious stuff.

• For example, when it was avengers family movie night and you all decided to watch a film set in ww2, things got a bit too realistic for Bucky, so when he cuddled up next to you and you started playing with his hair, nobody batted an eyelid.

• Additionally, whenever any of the Avengers walked into the living room to see you asleep on the sofa, your head in Bucky's lap, they didn't give it a second thought. But you both knew you had to br careful with how much you let slip.

• Steve would totally know right from the start. He's known Bucky practically his entire life, so there was a definite change in his behaviour after he started dating you. He talked to Steve about you loads, and he caught Buck staring at you way too much. However, Steve only thought that Bucky had a crush on you, not that you were dating.

• You got Bucky a Polaroid camera for his birthday and he has never stopped taking photos of you since; he has photos of you mid-laugh, photos of you singing karaoke, photos of you in action. He keeps all of the Polaroid in a little box that you decorated for him.

• To help him with his anxiety, he keeps a diary. Every night, he records what happened in the day and hoe it made him feel. You knew about the diary, and you always wanted to see what he wrote about, but you understood that it's his privacy and you don't have the right to see it. He knew how badly you wanted to read it, too.

• So when your birthday came around, he didn't get you anything. All of the avengers gave you presents except for Bucky, which made everyone quite suspicious. To get everyone off his back, he claimed that he forgot when your birthday was. You knew that he had something in store for you later on, though.

• When you went to bed in the evening, you didn't go to your room but straight to Buck's. About ten minutes later he arrived, and he wasn't surprised to see you. He said that he had the worlds best present to give you.

• He sat down and handed you a present, wrapped in dark red paper. Once opening it, all you saw was a small, black leather bound notebook. What an awesome gift indeed.

• But it took you a second to realise that the notebook was his diary.

• "I finished it last night, and I've already bought a new one to start tonight. I really have no use for them once I finish them so I thought you-"

• When he looked up he saw you holding the book to your heart, tears streaming down your face. He thought you hated the gift, that you were expecting something so much better. But you reassured him that the diary was the best thing he could've ever given you.

• It took you a month to read, and you definitely had a favourite entry. February 14th, not only valentines day, but the day you both went on your first date. You agreed to go out and get coffee at a little cafe that you like downtown.

• When you first read it, you were watching TV with Steve in the living room.

• "Today Y/N and I had our first date. I met her at a cafe so we could get coffee. I was so scared that she'd realise how undeserving I am of somebody as good as her, but when I saw her walk through the door, it calmed all of my anxiety. She looked the most beautiful that I had ever seen her, and I regret being too scared to tell her that."

• When you read that, you burst into tears right on the spot. Steve had no idea what had happened, but after you put the notebook down, he gave you a big hug to calm you. He recognized the notebook, as he had seen bucky writing in it a lot, but he didn't say anything. He just held you. Steve's a legend.

• Coincidentally, after that happened, you and Bucky seemed to go on a lot more missions where you had to spend time together. [Thanks, Steve]

• A few days after you came back from a really long mission, everyone had a day off, so you both went out for dinner in the evening. It was the fanciest date that you both had been on; you wore a red silk dress, and he wore a suit and tie. After all, it was the fanciest restaurant in New York.

• Everything was going perfectly, until you noticed Tony and Pepper walk through the door. You and Bucky had never run as fast as you did when you saw them. So instead of getting dinner there, you both went to McDonalds.

• One evening, you were all sat in the living room after just finishing a board game. You were sat next to Bucky, and told him that you were going to bed. Forgetting that nobody knew about your relationship, you leaned in an gave him a small kiss on the lips.

• Steve chokEd on his coffee, I swear.

• Everyone stared at you, and you managed to convince them that you had just found out it was national 'kiss your coworker' day. Not wanting to seem biased, all eyes were on you as you walked around the room and gave everyone a tiny kiss. Steve decided he wanted to fuck with Bucky a bit, so when you went into the kitchen to give him a kiss, he grabbed you by the waist and kissed you for like, 10 seconds, you could feel Steve laughing into the kiss towards the end.

• Bucky was pissed, but couldn't bring it up with Steve because he thought he didn't know.

• Honestly, Bucky is a hoe for attention.

• When all of you are in a meeting or sat at the dinner table, he likes to put his hand on your thigh and trace circles with his thumb.

• His hands are always so cold, and you like to sandwich them in between your warm ones.

• Bucky always randomly brought you gifts. After you got back from a mission? Flowers. After he got back from a mission? Chocolates. Some days he'd just walk into your room and nonchalantly hand you a rose.

• You and Natasha hung out a lot in your room, so it was always a surprise to her when she saw a vase of tulips or roses on your desk.

• "Wow, who gave you those flowers?"

• "Uh, I bought them for myself. They just caught my eye when I walked past the florist."

• Intimacy was a special thing for Bucky. It was never just holding hands or hugging, but it was a really important thing for Bucky to be able to share with you. For a while, he was scared to touch you with his metal arm in fear of hurting you, but you loved holding his metal hand. His arm reminded him of the people he murdered and that repulsed him, but you were determined to change that. So you always held his metal hand, and gave it tiny kisses, maybe massaging it every now and again.

• Sometimes you spent the night in Buck's room. Not to do the nasty, or anything like that, but to just fall asleep in each other's arms with the reassurance that you have each other. But whenever you did this, he had to wake you up really early in the morning so you could go back to your room, just in case anybody came to your room to look for you and found you not there.

• Whenever he had a bad nightmare, he'd come to your room straight away. Lots of the time, you didn't wake up when he came in, and he was gone before you got up in the morning. But every now and again, you woke up to find him cuddling you. You loved it.

• Bucky was never too jealous, unless he knew that another guy was a definite threat. So when you and Steve had to go on an undercover mission and pretend you were married, Bucky didn't take it well.

• On the mission, Steve was reluctant to do any PDA. Although it was what you had to do, he couldn't find it in himself to kiss you or hold your hand. This means that you had to initiate all of it, and you really hated it. You'd much rather be doing all of this with Bucky, but Fury didn't trust him enough with an important mission like this.

• There was this one time where all of the avengers were on a really big mission, and you and Buck were the only ones left behind [thanks again, Stevie]. Taking advantage of this rarity, you both decided to take a shower together. You expected it to be really intimate and relaxing, but it was the opposite.

• "Bucky. Did you seriously just use up the only bit of shampoo I had left!?"

"Yeah, my hair is longer than yours and needs a very precise routine to get it's classic shine!"

[Thud]

"What the fuck, y/n!? Why did you throw your bottle of conditioner at me!?"

• You liked to train with Bucky, but it was annoying how he always let you win. Cute, sure, but you wanted to try and get there yourself.

• Bucky was really self conscious of his body. Yeah, the super soldier serum made him really buff, but he worried that you'd see him as a monster or a freak science experiment. You always reassured him about how handsome he was, and it meant a lot to him.

• You decided to tell the others on valentines day. It would be your 1 year anniversary, and you both knew that your relationship was serious. When you woke up on valentines day, Bucky came in and, with a bit of a struggle, blindfolded you.

• He walked you out into the living room and took the blindfold off, where you saw all of the avengers with party hats on.

• They all shouted surprise, and you were SO confused.

• Turns out, Bucky told them all the night before, and they had planned a day full of fun to make up for all of the time you had lost sneaking around.

• You both appreciated each other so much, and that's all that matters. You were madly in love.

[no-gender-only-soup]

Motivation? It's more likely then you think.

(trigger warning: mentions of blood, a little bit scary so if you get scared easily this isn't the story for you)

Your eyes opened slowly. Your head was pounding. You looked around at your surroundings, wincing slightly at how bright it was. You were in a sterile white room. There were large tiles on the floor and a set of cabinets in the corner. You stood up, knees threating to buckle. You must've been out for a long time. You walked slowly, carefully towards the cabinets. You kept looking over your shoulder. You could've sworn someone was watching you. You audibly groaned. All the cabinets had a large, heavy-duty lock on them. You punched the cabinet, immediately bruising your knuckles. You were getting frustrated quickly. You heard a whooshing sound. You turned around so fast you were worried that you'd given yourself whiplash. One of the tiles had fallen out of the floor, and fallen into who know where. You causiously crept towards the large hole left in the floor. You crouched down, peering down the hole. It was almost as if it lead to the abyss, it was so black. You carefully reached down into the void, feeling around for anything. Dark tentacle-like pieces of darkness wrapped around your hand and swiftly pulled you into the hole.

   You opened your mouth to scream, but no sounds left your body. You threw around you arms and legs hoping to catch something so you'd stop falling, but to no avail. Eventually after what seemed like a century of falling, you landed on the ground. You would think you would have some broken bones, bleeding, bruising, something! But no, you had nothing to even show the massive fall you'd taken. The room was dark, and you had to squint to see anything. There was a low grinding sound, but you didn't pay any attention to it. You looked around, but the room seemed empty, as the previous one had been. You caught a glimpse of your hand as you stood up. It wasn't bleeding as it had been just minutes before after punching the cabinets. You started walking forward, but there seemed to be no end to the dark room. You turned around slowly, still having the feeling that someone was watching you. And the back wall seemed to still be the same distance away from you as when you started. You had moved, right? You started walking towards the back wall and it got closer to you, since that's how literally anything works. You stood still, completely confused. You had been walking, right? Then it hit you what that low grinding sound that hadn't ceased from bothering you was. The back wall was moving. You felt your eyes widen as you begin to panic. You quickly spun around and began running. You had to find the door that was inevitably at the end of room. You ran for a long time, you guessed almost half an hour. Sweat had stuck your clothes to suck like a fly to fly trap paper. You stopped running for the first time and were doubled over panting. Then you saw it, much clearer then you would've before because your eyes had adjusted to the darkness. The wall. And to your heart breaking, bone shattering disappointment, there was no door. You spun around, facing the back wall. It was maybe ten minutes away from crushing you at the pace it was going. For the first time since you'd woke up you screamed. Long, loud screams that ripped your throat raw.         

Tears ran down your face in long streams as you racked your brain trying to think of what to do. You decided to try pushing the wall backwards. You ran at it, full force. It hurt like hell, and you were sure that you'd dislocated your shoulder. But you continued pushing with all your might. You screamed the whole time, sweat beading your forehead. You couldn't do this. At this point your back was pressed against the wall that was supposed to have the door. You kept pushing the moving wall. No, you couldn't die. You weren't ready. No. No. No. No! The moving wall was pressing against your stomach and you were completely flat, no longer pushing. Then, you felt the wall your back was pressed against give way any the darkness wrapped around your whole body once again.

    Now you were on a road. The kind of road that you'd see in a car commercial. A yellow stripe down the middle of a wet, black concrete slab. There were the presumed cracks in the road, but not too noticeable. The seemingly endless road was surrounded by the luscious green forest that would've been in that same car commercial. You looked around, completely unsurprised that there was no cars. You were alone once again. You didn't even bother moving from your sitting position on the ground, because it seemed everytime you moved something bad happened. You still could shake the agonizing feeling that someone was watching you. You then became aware that your shoulder was fixed, as your hand from the first room. Odd. You were quickly pulled out if your thoughts when you heard footsteps. Could this be the person that was watching you? You weren't completely sure where the footsteps had been coming from, but soon found out. A ginormous figure leaped out of the forest. It wasn't any normal figure, though. It was a creature almost as tall as a car, if the car had been up on two tires. It's face was hideously deformed, having at least twenty eyes and one giant hole of a mouth. Hundreds of rows of teeth lined it's mouth. It seemed to be a creature compiled of a bunch of different people. But it was covered in smooth, pasty skin. You would've thrown up if you had the luxury of just sitting there. You screamed while sprinting down the road. You spun, almost spraining your heel as you sprinted towards the part of the forest to your left. It was a risk, considering that was the part that the deformed creature had come out of, but you guessed that it was just you and the freak. The monster leapt after you like a gorilla. You finally reached the forest, turning to run into it, but a quick electric shock corsed through your body and you were blown backwards by a force field. You landed with a thump in a ditch. The creature soon followed suit in this cliché of a horror movie. It landed on you, clenching the sides of your face with two of its nine arms. It opened its mouth, letting out a god awful noise and sinking it's teeth into the side of your neck. It felt like a thousand needles sinking into your vains. Not painful, but not exactly fun. You wondered what possible sin you commited to deserve this amount of blood being sucked out of your body. You closed your eyes, your body had been emptied of every last gallon of blood.

     You opened your eyes. You still weren't dead? You tried to sit up, but found you were tied down in a dentist chair with leather straps. You struggled against them, but found everytime you moved they tightened. You relaxed a little, the straps still not loosening. You finally noticed the television being suspended on the ceiling above you. It read:   

'Are you ready for round two?'

[bluebird167]

The Sinners and Their Saints Chapter 4: The Vampire and The Slayer Part 1

"So he turned you into a mouse?" Connie said when Steven went to meet her.

"Yes and now I have a craving for cheese."

"Really? Cheddar or provolone?" She joked.

"All kinds but don't worry it'll fade. He's done this before, he's also claimed that he'll eat me if I make him angry enough but I think he's bluffing."

"Why? Isn't he a devil?"

"Half devil. Like me he was born from the union of a dark creature and a human."

"Does he follow Satan or God?"

"I don't know. He says that he follows neither but I've seen him praying once or twice so maybe he follows God."

"I've been told that devils are to be greater feared than vampires, werewolves, and every other monster."

"That is true. Devils were the first monsters ever created, they are ten times as strong, fast, cunning, and dangerous as any vampire. They say a devil is beyond redemption and for centuries that was true until one human gave half of her immortal soul to a devil who saved her from a fate worse than death. My mother and his father are very similar." Steven explained. "Both were creatures of darkness who turned away from their former evil masters due to the love they felt for a human."

"Tell me about your mother. How did she and your father meet? When did she stop drinking human blood?"

It was a long time ago. My mother was part of a group of vampires who spent the nights hunting down humans to offer to drain them of their blood. One night in particular they went to attack a group of people watching a young performer, my father was that performer. Unfortunately for them a group of vampire slayers were nearby and expecting their attack so they ambushed them. Some got away others were killed, my mother was badly injured but she managed to crawl away somewhere before she could be staked."

"What happened to her?"

"She couldn't move, it hurt too much and sunrise would arrive in one hour. The other vampires who had not been staked had left her for dead, abandoned her, thinking of nothing but themselves. But my father who had been hiding from the massacre saw her on the ground shivering, bleeding, and scared to death of the sun that was coming to take her life. She expected him to run off and leave her to die just as her own kind did but he didn't. Instead he took off his long, dark, heavy coat, and covered her with it so when the sun rose up she was protected from it."

"He covered her from the sun?"

"Yes and then he took her back to his house and placed her in his basement where no sunlight could get in then later he brought her a pint of his own blood because she was half starved. It was the first time anyone had showed her any kindness. It surprised her, this human was kind enough to protect her from the sun and give her blood while her own kind left her. It was then my mother realized that the real monsters, the real garbage that needed to be purged from this world were vampires. "

"Wow. That's pretty intense."

"Tell me about it. Hey I gotta go but I'll see you tomorrow same time."

"Okay."

He then disappeared into the night while she returned to the organization to get some sleep. The next morning she was woken up real early by the alarm. Apparently last night ten people were attacked by a vampire and it was when the other slayers discovered that Steven was no longer in his cell.

"How did he escape?" Solomon asked.

"Don't know sir." Lars said.

"Who was watching him last?"

"Connie sir."

"Connie how did he escape?" Solomon asked her.

"I...I don't know sir." She lied avoiding eye contact.

"Yes you do. You're not looking at me in the eyes, you only do that when you're lying. Tell me the truth. He was half starved and weak so how could he have escaped unless he didn't." He said suspiciously. "Did you let him go?"

"He...He wasn't a threat."

"Connie you know better than to do that!"

"He was dying in there! He looked weak! And he didn't drink any of the human blood you left him so what was the harm?"

"Connie I've warned you about how cunning these vampires can be. It could've been one of his tricks."

"But he's half human."

"Half human or not he craves blood and that makes him dangerous."

"But he's never hurt anyone."

"Tell that to the ten people who were just drained dry last night." Lars protested. "Last night something drank every last drop of blood that was in those people's bodies. If it wasn't him then who was it?"

"There are other vampires running around here Lars."

"True as that maybe." Solomon said. "We can't take any chances. We must locate that creature and any other running loose. Steven is a bigger threat because he can strike during both day and night time hours so we must begin our search now."

"But what if you're wrong about him?"

"If there's one thing I've learned from my family Connie it's that never trust anything that needs human blood to survive."

"Sir hate to interrupt." Another slayer said. "We have another attack taking place downtown."

"Alright everyone get down there now and don't hesitate to kill if needed."

Connie and a group of slayers drove downtown to find a group of people on the ground, some were already dead while others barely alive. All of them had huge punctured bite marks in their necks which were bleeding immensely.

"Get these people back to the organization." Connie said.

The bodies of the people were loaded into several vehicle and taken to the organization were there doctor would try to give them a formula that would not only save them from their injuries but also from becoming vampires themselves.

"Help me." Connie heard a voice squeak.

It was then she noticed a foot sticking out from behind a turned over shelf. Using her strength she pulled the shelf away to find a woman about a year younger than she was lying on the floor. She had a black eye, a bleeding nose, and several scratches and bruises but not signs of bite marks.

"Hold on." She said. "I'll help you."

She picked her up and took her to the last vehicle leaving for the organization. She noticed that he was clutching something in his fist. When they arrived at the organization she was taken to the clinic to check for bite marks, as she was taken there she dropped what she had been clutching in her hand. Connie picked it up from the floor and to her horror she knew exactly what it was.

It was a torn piece of green fabric from Steven's coat. She couldn't breathe, there was no way Steven could've done this. He couldn't have attacked all those innocent people. But then again vampires were cunning, clever, and manipulative. Maybe it really was just a trick. Maybe all this time Steven was just playing her and yet despite it he seemed so sincere and genuine.

"Connie one of the men attacked is awake." The doctor said. "He wants to talk to you."

She went into the clinic to speak with the man who called for her.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Is he dead?" The man asked.

"Who?"

"The monster who attacked us."

"No sir he got away but we'll catch him. It would help if you could tell me what he looks like."

"He was a large, barbaric man with black hair and these horrible red eyes. He called himself Steven."

Connie felt an ice cold chill down her spine. He did do it and she let it happen. She let him go, she let a monster run free and attack all these poor people. How could she be so stupid and trust him? Well she wouldn't make the same mistake twice. When it was time for her to meet Steven she had a wooden stake and a string of garlic ready to use on him. They met in the alleyway like they did earlier and he dropped from the night sky. Seeing part of his jacket torn was all the confirmation she needed.

"Hey Connie."

"Freeze." She cried holding up a gun ready to fire a wooden stake.

"Whoa! What's going on?"

"This Steven! What is this?!" She threw the torn piece of fabric at his feet.

"Where did you get that?"

"In the hands of a frightened girl who had been attacked by a vampire or should I say a half vampire."

"Connie I know how this looks but you have the wrong idea."

"Then explain to me why this girl had part of your coat and why a man we rescued claimed that you did it?"

"He's lying! Either that or he's mistaken because I would never hurt any human needlessly."

"You drank the blood of fifteen people!"

"That's not true! The very scent of human blood sickens me!"

"Why should I believe you?!"

"Connie please listen to me! I would never do something like that I swear!"

BANG!

She shot a wooden stake which he dodged. She made her aim again, she was trying to kill him. Steven realized he was going to have to reason with her later. Before she could even think about shooting again he flew off and vanished.

[shall-we-imagine]

You've changed. (Azusa KuzexReader)

Requested: 2. "Define normal." From the prompt list.

Genre: mostly comedy and just randomness but also some fluff

(Second Person Point of View)

"Well, clearly, you've never been to the fairies' world!" You argue, taking a few glances at the signs to ensure you don't miss the library.

"Listen; there's no way a little fairy is gonna win against a mermaid! That just makes no sense! A mermaid can literally lure you into your death!" He claims, using some light hand gestures to emphasize his point.

"Yes, but-" your statement was interrupted by Serge's cheerful voice.

"Guys! Come take a look at this!" He peeks his head outside of a classroom- an empty one, you assumed. He immediately drags you both inside and towards the professors' desk, which carried nothing but an ominous orb of pink and purple. It looked like something a fortune teller would own, and since this was Serge you're talking about, it didn't seem very surprising.

You were previously planning to head to the library with your boyfriend, Azusa, to prove to him the strength of fairies, even though it wasn't exactly necessary, but you felt the need to do it anyway. However, your trip was delayed by your pink haired friend. You could use that as one more proof, though, right? Serge certainly knew enough about fairies!

"Hey, Serge, quick question: In a hypothetical battle between a fairy and a mermaid, who would win?" You pop the question before he begins explaining the psychics' item he was presenting.

Serge being Serge, it took nothing to get him to discuss such a useless topic. "The fairy, of course!" He states.

"See?" You turn to face your boyfriend with a smug expression.

Azusa rolls his eyes. "Come on; this doesn't prove anyth-"

"It's only cuz you've never met a fairy!"

"Well, you've also never met a mermaid!"

"Hey..uh..guys, maybe you can finish that argument later? I have an invention to show you." He gestures to the bright globe.

Azusa sighs; you nudge him, giving Serge an enthusiastic sure! and waiting for the explanation. In all honesty, you were kinda curious about the invention, since all Serge's inventions are amazing; you just wanted to prove Azusa wrong first.

A proud -and slightly insane if you pay too much attention- grin spreads across the inventor's face, "Well! This little sphere can basically combine multiple people's strength and thoughts then portray it onto whoever is carrying it!"

Unsure what that's supposed to mean, you and Azusa merely stare with slightly tilted heads. Serge stares back in anticipation until he realizes you both understood nothing of what he explained.

"Okay, how about we try it? That'll explain it a bit better. (Y/N), do you wanna try it?" He offers.

You hesitate, but seeing the gleam in his eyes, you couldn't object. "Uh, yeah, why not?"

He twists the ball before handing it over to you, which resulted in it splitting right through the middle to show a plain, black strip underneath. "Okay, so first of all, you have to think of a range. So, like maybe think everyone in this room, okay?" Serge explains, as he hands you the invention, that was a lot lighter than you expected.

"Then Azusa and I have to think of a creature or something, while you press the ball together, then it combines our magic and thoughts to turn you into whatever we thought of, get it?"

You nod eagerly, and push the two parts of the sphere together the way Serge instructed.

It was a mistake.

Why? Well, first of all, you didn't even warn them beforehand, so they were both caught of guard. Second of all, someone walked in right as you were trying out the invention, which resulted in their inclusion in the range you thought of- everyone in this room.

You fell to the ground with a loud thump, accidentally letting go of the ball of troubles that went rolling towards the newcomer's foot. At first, you didn't understand why this transformation included you dropping to the ground, but it didn't take you too long to figure out. "What the fuck?!"

Azusa tries not to burst into laughter (he didn't try hard enough). Meanwhile, Serge stares at you, his index finger and thumb around his chin, "Maybe we should've agreed to think about one thing.."

"You should've considered that before trying it out on me!!" You complain.

Serge jumps to the defence of his precious invention, "I mean part of the invention is that it reaches common ground! Which it did! I thought of a fairy, and I guess Azusa thought of a mermaid...but why the bunny ears?"

The intruder walks closer, globe in hand. "I suppose that could be my fault?" Klaus hands Serge the sphere but keeps his confused and slightly horrified gaze on you. "It would've fit you well if it weren't for the other..modifications. Now, you're an actual bunnyhead." He adds, as if that helps in any way.

"Well, can't we just turn her back using the invention again?" Azusa, who seemed to be in a weirdly good mood, asked.

Just when you feel like there's a solution to your strange form, Serge frowns. "You can only use it once every forty minutes.."

You groan. "How bad does it look?" You could see the blue tail you'd grown where your legs used to be, and you could feel some scales all over your body, but you weren't sure what happened to your face. You hoped for nothing too weird, as you pull out a mirror from your backpack.

"I mean..It could pass off as normal if we exclude the tail?" Serge gives a nervous smile.

Blue hair. Pointed ears like an elf's. On top of your head were also another pair of ears- a bunny's. There were only a few scales on your face, but your skin had turned to a very light sky blue colour too, so there's that.

You bring the mirror down to squint at Serge, "Define normal."

"I mean people are usually not that attentive or sharp, to be fair." Klaus shrugs.

"I have blue skin! And two pairs of ears! And scales! You'd have to be blind not to notice that!" You snap.

"Why are you snapping at me?! Don't force me to give you extra assignments!" He warns.

You pretend to clear your throat, "uh, sorry. Forget that happened."

"It's important to mention that class begins in like.." Klaus glances at his watch, "ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?! What are we gonna do?!" You begin to panic. "Also, being dry makes me uncomfortable." Man, why are you acting like a real mermaid?

"Do you want me to take you to the lake?" Azusa teases, earning a glare from you.

"You guys need to hide somewhere until I figure out a way to reverse it...or the forty minutes are over.." Serge scratches the back of his head nervously.

"How are we even going to leave the classroom without attracting attention?"

Wrapped in both your own cloak and Azusa's cloak, you felt like you were imitating voldemort's look during the beginning of the goblet of fire. It wasn't the best feeling. The fact that Azusa had to carry you wasn't helping either.

"(Y/N)? Azusa? What's wrong? Why are you carrying her?" Elias stops you both, and you use all your power to pray he doesn't notice anything weird with your figure. Elias would be understanding, but let's just say; the less people that got to see your odd transformation, the better.

"Um..she hurt her leg." Azusa blurts out.

"What?! How?" Elias's voice was filled with concern, forcing you to feel guilty for the lie.

"D-don't worry about it; it's not bad! Azusa is just exaggerating!" You laugh nervously.

"Okay.." The blond male nods slowly, as if slightly suspicious, "why are you wrapped up like that?"

"I'm..I'm cold." You wanted to slap yourself for how bad your lies were turning out.

"Are those..bunny ears?" Elias points out the long, furry ears you'd pressed down underneath the hood of the cloak, in attempts to conceal it.

"It's..it's a costume!" You glance between Azusa and Elias in panic, silently asking your boyfriend for help.

"A costume? What for?" You love Elias; you really do, but at the moment, you just wish he'd stop asking so much questions.

"You don't wanna know." Azusa smirks, earning a bashful oh from the smaller boy, before proudly leaving with you in his arms.

"Really, Azusa?! Out of anything you could've said?!" You complain, fairly embarassed by his bold statement as well.

"I panicked." Shrugs a perfectly calm Azusa.

###

"How much longer do I have to wait?!" You groan, pulling at the hood of your cloak and pressing your second pair of ears further down.

"I don't know; it seems like we'll have to wait for the forty minutes to be over." He gives you a sympathetic smile, but that doesn't stop you from releasing a louder groan and dramatically lying back on the grass in defeat.

You hear a chuckle, directing your attention back to the male sitting opposite to you with crossed legs. "You know you actually look kind of cute like that; I'm considering keeping you from transforming back." He smirks.

"You wouldn't dare!" Your bunny ears push your hood back, taking a stiff, straight position towards the back of your head. It was supposed to show aggression, but it seemed to only look adorable to your boyfriend, who just burst into laughter.

"See? You're so cute." He speaks in utter awe, petting your head to further increase your displeasure.

"Hey! Don't make me get violent with you; I'll-" He connects his pink lips with your pale blue ones, interrupting your empty threat. You could feel your bunny ears relax and stay down near your face. You were glad his eyes were shut; otherwise, he would've once more burst into laughter at your inconveniences.

"Am I interrupting something?" The familiar voice of a person that indeed enjoyed interrupting happy moments for his sadistic pleasures- okay he wasn't so bad, but this was the best part of your day; come on!

"Uh..no?" You give an awkward smile, after you pull away from Azusa in a rush.

"Technically, the forty minutes are over. You're free, bunnyhead." Klaus chuckles, tossing you the troublesome sphere. You could clearly see how much more he's enjoying using that nickname. "Serge was so caught up in figuring out something to reverse it that he didn't notice the time was up anyway."

"Oh! Thank you!" You hold the globe with such relief. "Okay, Azusa think of my usual form!"

"Got it." He gives a thumbs up, signalling you to go on. You comply and once again press the ball together after twisting it the way Serge did earlier. This time your range was just one person- Azusa. This should go perfectly fine.

Your normal skin colour and hair colour were back! Also, no fish tail or scales! You get off the ground, cheering loudly. "Finally! I'm back!"

Klaus was giving you and Azusa confused looks. Azusa was yet again trying not to laugh. You paused, deciding your celebration should probably be delayed- something was definitely up.

"Are we supposed to tell her?" Klaus turns to Azusa.

"Nope."

"Tell her what?" You begin patting your face, trying to figure out what's off. Then you reached it. Those fucking bunny ears were still there. "Azusa!"

"Oops?" He smiles innocently. "You look extra adorable, though, and that's thanks to me." He defends.

"You're pure evil!"

"You know you love me." He states, a smirk decorating his lips.

You huff, trying to distract from your burning hot cheeks. "I do."

"I love you too." You somehow didn't notice until now, but his face was now a lot closer than before. His eyes were switching glances between your eyes and lips.

"You do know I'm still here, right?"

"Yeah, why are you still here?" Azusa rolls his eyes at the blond, reluctantly pulling away from you.

"Oh, yeah, my bad; let me just walk away with this." Klaus had apparently retrieved the orb and was now walking away with the only cure to your current state.

"Hey, Klaus! Klaus, wait!" You chase after the taller male that made it a point to walk faster and ignore your shouts.

Anyway, long story short: now the entire academy thinks you can make some very good, convincing costumes. How you wish that was the case..

[unicornprincessinthetardis]

My (often relatively reasonable) dad: ...so Enoch Powell was right, what he said has happened.

Me: and you don't think maybe he could've said it without inciting racial hatred and literally saying that in time the rivers might run with the blood of 'native' British people because of immigration, do you?

My dad: no, you're being ridiculous, it had to be said, and there really are areas of cities that are majority black or Muslim now so he was right in his predictions, and it didn't change how things were anyway

Me: *goes away to calm down and read up on the 'Rivers of Blood' speech*

[I already knew some of this but here's a précis for those unfamiliar: in April 1968, in Wolverhampton, UK, a Conservative MP, Enoch Powell, made a speech, about the proposed 'Race Relations Bill' (which subsequently made it illegal to refuse housing/ employment/public services to people on the grounds of race/colour/ ethnic & national origins).

The speech was strongly anti-immigrant, calling for 'voluntary re-emigration' and for moves to be made to stem the tide of immigration, else Britain would be 'overrun' and sooner or later white British people would find themselves fully second-class citizens, and that in some ways they already were. He also talked about a "tragic and intractable phenomenon which we watch with horror on the other side of the Atlantic", which I take to mean immigration in the USA to the similar end of white people no longer being in charge - which in 1968 was so far from the truth, and just horrible baseless fear-mongering, playing on people’s xenophobia and racist prejudice - and compared pro-immigration/anti-discrimination newspapers to the ones that had denied and hid the rise of fascism and threat of war in the 1930s. Plus, he talked about a constituent of his, a woman who lived on a street that had become occupied by mostly black people, who lost her white lodgers and complained to the council for a tax rate reduction because she wouldn't take black tenants, and instead basically got told not to be racist, and presented it as a bad thing that she'd been treated like that.

The speech's common name comes from a phrase he quoted from the Aenid (because he was also a Cambridge-educated classics scholar), 'I seem to see "the River Tiber foaming with much blood"', although he just called it 'the Birmingham speech' and seemed to be surprised by the uproar he caused.]

Me (to self): So it didn't change things did it? How do you explain the attacks against nonwhite people where the attackers literally shouted his name and repeated his rhetoric? Oh, they would definitely have happened if he hadn't made that speech, wouldn't they? And the British people of foreign descent who were so afraid they might be removed from their lives just for not being white they always had cases packed to go? And the fact that experts says he set back progress in 'race relations' by about ten years and legitimised being racist/anti-immigrant in the same way UKIP and some pro-Brexit types have done within the last few years here (fun fact: immediately after the Brexit vote, people were being racially and physically abusive to visibly Muslim and/or South Asian people, telling them to leave because of Brexit, which was of course extreme nonsense because their presence would be nothing to do with the EU, and more likely the British Empire and the Commonwealth, but they were doing it because it seemed suddenly okay to be openly racist, because Nigel Farage and his ilk, and a legally non-binding vote surrounded in lies, said so) and others have done elsewhere, in the US and Europe and Brazil and so many other places.

Powell was interviewed about the speech in 1977 and stood by his views, said that because the immigration figures were higher than those he had been 'laughed at' about in his speech, he was right and now governments didn't want to deal with the "problem", were passing it off to future generations and it would go on until there was a civil war!

He also said he wasn't a 'racialist' (racist) because he believed a "'racialist' is a person who believes in the inherent inferiority of one race of mankind to another, and who acts and speaks in that belief" so he was in fact "a racialist in reverse" as he regarded "many of the peoples in India as being superior in many respects—intellectually, for example, and in other respects—to Europeans." (I mean, I know I can't hold him to our standards but a) that's still racism and b) he did think that mankind was divided into very distinct, probably biologically so, races, which, yes, normal for the time, but the whole 'each with different qualities and ways in which they were better than others' is iffy)

Me: *goes back to Dad to make my point and definitely not get upset* So here are some things that literally happened as a consequence of the 'Rivers of Blood' speech...

So even if he was correct to say what he did (I mean, he wasn't but you have to tiptoe around Dad and I had points to make), he shouldn't have said it the way he did

My dad: so you think the truth should be suppressed? You're only looking at this from one perspective (he thinks he knows better because he was alive at the time and my brother and I weren't despite the fact that we're both into politics and history and, y'know, not into scapegoating, behaving oddly, and laying blame because people are different to us - he and mum also have issues with trans people and we're trying so hard to change their views/behaviours but I'm not sure it's working & that's a whole different story) and there are these areas that really are Muslim-only (because informal lending and wanting to keep the community together is such a crime, right?) and they don't integrate and want to impose Sharia law (only he couldn't remember what it was called right then) and you don't know what it's like (he is an engineer surveyor and travels all over to inspect boilers and cooling systems and all sorts of stuff, and this includes into majority-Black or -Asian (Muslim and otherwise) areas in Birmingham - which is not a no-go area for non-Muslims, I'm a deeply agnostic white woman, it's my nearest big city and I wish I went there more often but it's tricky as I don't drive, public transport is bad/inconvenient, and I have no friends to go with except depression and anxiety [which are worse 'friends' than the ones that I found out only liked me in high school because I always had sweets and snacks at lunch so when I got braces and my mouth hurt too much to eat much of anything which meant I certainly didn't have snacks, they dropped me pretty quickly] so apparently he's the expert on all such matters)

What I wish I'd said: *staying very calm* well, and that's your opinion, I'm going, I've got sewing to finish *leaves*

What actually happened:

Me: have you considered that they are able to buy up areas like that because white people leave because of their prejudice against the 'influx'?

Dad: they buy up great areas because they buy in groups (I think this refers to a sort of community lending thing to be compliant with various parts of Islam? [Please correct me if I'm wrong] which is effectively what building societies/credit unions were, at least to begin with, and he doesn't take issue with those) and want to stay together. Why do they do that? Sikhs don't do that, they buy big houses and aren't bothered about being close together.

Me: different religious ethoses? I don't know... But you do know that they people who want the UK to be a caliphate ruled by Sharia law are just a minority, and that most Muslims would not want that at all, just like you?

Dad: but they still do want it, and it could happen, if there was a charismatic leader,

Me: *incredulous* you know it's about as likely for that to actually happen as for strictly Orthodox Jewish people to be able to make this country into another Israel, right? Besides, there are the police, and the armed forces, and intelligence agencies, not to mention the Government and civil service (thought I'd got a win there, he hates the unchanging upper-class-public-school-Oxbridge nature of the people who effectively really run the government, constant no matter the leaning of the elected party, but no) who have a vested interest in preserving themselves in their current state so would be able to stop anything like that

Dad: yes, but the cutting of funding to police and public services means they might not be able to stop it (I realise now that he's oddly economically left-wing but also really quite socially conservative in some ways)

Me: *getting angry* but it's still an absolute minority, most Muslims would be horrified if it really did happen, and have you ever considered that maybe they wouldn't be so ill-disposed to us and to integration if we didn't demand it of them the moment that they arrive, demand that they assimilate or go away (he often uses the phrase "yes, but they're in somebody else's country, they should make an effort") and maybe young people wouldn't be so easily radicalised and people generally mistrust the people who don't try to understand them, you know, want them to change everything about themselves (for instance, Dad is violently opposed to the burqa etc and not really a fan of the hijab - still doesn't get that it's a choice and people can do what they want because apparently 'anyone could be wearing one of those things' - burqas/niqabs, I presume - and that it must all be forced because who would possibly choose to dress like that - I have half a mind to show him those sites about Christian modest dressing (one was a shop and a lot of their range was pretty cute!) that I once found, just to see if that'll prove to him it is a choice thing) *tries to leave*

Dad: *angry* You stay there and listen to me! You're just looking at it from one perspective and that's not the truth, you're so biased and closed-minded, you only look at things your way!

Me: *furious* Really? Really? Am I? *Scoffs/incredulous exhalation* I'm closed-minded, am I?... *Storms out, shouts as I go* I'm not the one who said Enoch Powell was right!!

This is all heavily paraphrased, because I've been writing this for literal hours now and I was angry and don't remember well at the best of times, it may have been worse than how I'm writing it

Also, going to be tricky to patch up but right now I stand by what I said, because I know my perspective is limited, but at least I actually admit that and try to find out what people different to me think, rather than basing all my opinions and things on my own experiences which can't be universal, as he seems to

Other bs my dad said during the two conversations: "don't get so upset about it, it's only history" (which is bold, considering it was the 50th anniversary this year and he was literally 11 years old when it happened so probably saw/heard news coverage)... "Yes of course far right groups use 'Enoch was right' as a slogan, it doesn't mean anything"... Reiterating the 'nothing changed' thing multiple times... Dismissing the fact that Powell said there'd be a civil war because apparently just because the British/Europeans were aggressive conquerors anyone else who came in numbers anywhere would eventually have that aim and how ridiculous that view actually is... Dismissing the fact that Powell basically incited racial hatred and violence with the inclusion of an irrelevant Classical phrase which spread fear on all sides...

I could go on but I'm so tired and don't want to make myself more upset

I love my parents but I really don't like them very much lately but I don't know if I just put up with it or leave sooner or later and if I do leave I don't know where I'd go because no friends

Basically I'm so sorry for my parents' prejudices which I'm still trying to unlearn myself - I apologise wholeheartedly to all Muslim and Jewish people and honestly pretty much everyone they're prejudiced against

[gammaprimesmw]

All My Worthwhile SMW Hacks - Now on GBATemp

For those who have perhaps wondered where the SMW in my screen name comes from, it comes from my long history in the Super Mario World ROM hacking scene. It's something I originally discovered all the way back in 2006. Back then, I quickly fell in love with the ability to change levels. I could make the most annoying levels of the game a bit more bearable. (Looking at you, Tubular!) Before long, I had joined Acmlm's Board and attempted to pass a collection of blatant level edits off as my first SMW hack, only to be shot down rather quickly. I briefly quit, only to start again. This time, I tried to make my own levels, only to eventually break something in my ROM. I almost gave up yet again before finally producing my first passable (at the time) hack late that year. I intended to follow that up with another hack called Super Mario Bros. 5, but ended up burning out sometime in the following summer. I then left hacking behind until late 2010. That's when what I consider my real SMW hacking journey began.

By late 2010, a lot had changed about the scene. New utilities now existed, and new custom assets could be inserted that the average user wouldn't dare to mess with in 2006. Custom music, blocks, and sprites could be inserted whether or not one knew 65c816 Assembly. Meanwhile, I was getting better at pixel art, allowing me to make my own graphics from scratch. Before long, I had decided to resurrect Super Mario Bros. 5, recreating the whole thing practically from scratch. The result would be Super Mario Bros. 5 Roborn. It wasn't easy to pull the hack off, even with new skills and tools. I'd suffer from bouts of Hacker's Block, which is like a writer's block or artist's block, but it affects the ability to create new levels. I'd also run into technical problems and the inability to find the right resources to do everything I really wanted to do. Learning to make my own custom music helped somewhat, but I would still be dependent on the ASM people to either code what I needed or fix bugs involving whatever custom code had already been inserted. Sadly, requests for custom bosses were seldom, if ever, fulfilled. This fact would eventually kill a sequel to SMB5R known as Mecha-Bowser's Revenge. I wanted custom bosses that didn't exist and lacked the patience to learn the necessary ASM skills to make them myself. After canceling that hack and honing my level design skills a bit, partially thanks to a great tutorial written by AxemJinx. I entered my first Vanilla Level Design Contest in late February of 2012. While my level didn't win or even place in the top 5, it didn't place at the bottom either. A very critical hack reviewer called XKeeper, who I remember being one of the people to lambaste my earliest attempts at SMW hacking, gave the level a 4/5 when he played it during a Twitch stream. The time was fast approaching to try for another full-length hack. I tried my best to manage my ambition with this one. I'd keep the story simple. Bowser kidnapped the Princess (again). Koopalings would be the World bosses, and the existing bosses and boss templates made custom Koopalings feasible. I decided to draw all the foregrounds and backgrounds for this project. Only one thing really posed a threat to this project: Hacker's Block. It would get so bad sometimes that I'd question the morality of ROM hacking, believing the blocks came from God/my conscience trying to stop me from promoting the "sin" of downloading ROMs. Thankfully, friends like imamelia would reassure me that it wasn't. The hack was finished just as 2012 came to a close. This is the oldest hack that I felt worthy of going on GBATemp.

It was game on from there. I'd produce several more hacks. Each one would receive mostly positive reviews. The most frequent complaint I'd receive would be that my hacks all felt the same. I was, and still will be should I return to hacking, a traditionalist hacker. I tried to make my hacks feel like official Mario games. I eschewed the typical ROM hacking practice of making something significantly harder than the base game. I'm the first person to test the levels, and I'm not the greatest at video games. Lost Levels-tier difficulty curves aren't my thing, and Kaizo definitely isn't my thing. The latter fact suited me just fine. Up until about 2015, Kaizo hacks were banned on SMWCentral. That would start changing that year. A little thing called Janked Up Mario Party (AKA JUMP) was released, and it began changing the very culture of SMWC. Kaizo hacks were now permitted, thanks to them being popular with Twitch streamers. I kept going for several more years, even as popular opinion began turning against my "safe, homogenized" hacks, and Streamer Kaizo hacks began taking over the hack database. Let's Plays and streams of my hacks became more and more sparse, and my overall motivation to hack slowly dwindled through 2019. I burned out so back early last year that, for a couple weeks, I became thoroughly convinced that ROM hacking was a sin, regardless of what people like imamelia said. That conviction would bring me to tears every time I thought about everything I had created. I was still proud of it. These hacks were still available. I could've very easily asked a staffer on SMWC to take them all down, along with all the other resources I created. Being seen as crazy, and the fact that I could never truly erase what I'd done, ultimately held me back. Eventually, I gave into temptation, popping into a friend's stream while he was streaming a hack called Return to Dinosaur Land. That night, I also had a chat with Daizo Dee Von, and he finally convinced me that I was wrong about the whole "ROM hacking is a sin" thing. I salvaged some levels from the canceled Chocolate Collection I was working on since late 2019, threw in a few contest entry levels, and built a few new levels to create a much smaller collection hack simply called "Ten." I could've been done there. That could've been my send-off to the world of SMW hacking. Then COVID-19 happened, inspiring me to start another project inspired by the various conspiracy theories surrounding the pandemic. Unfortunately, I didn't have enough inspiration and motivation to see said hack through, and it was canceled. I decided then that I was pretty much done with hacking. I'd been doing it for a decade straight. That was probably the real reason I was burning out, rather than some divine intervention. I was burned out, and SMWC's culture was no longer one that really supported my style of hacks. I was no longer the one whose hacks could generate hype in large swaths of the community. I was now known as someone who just put out a string of very similar hacks. I even wondered if a sufficiently-trained AI algorithm could make hacks like mine. Maybe that thought can go two ways. I could see it as meaning I'm more like a machine than a person when it comes to designing levels, or the hypothetical AI could be seen as passing the ROM hacking equivalent of a Turing Test.

Anyway, here are the rest of the hacks. You will need a Super NES emulator and a Super Mario World ROM to play these. I can't tell you where to get the latter, but I can recommend using snes9x as your emulator of choice.

KAMEK'S ISLAND (2013)

MARIO & LUIGI: KOLA KINGDOM QUEST (2014-2015)

SUPER MARIO WORLD: BOWSER'S CATACLYSMIC TRAP (2014-2015)

SUPER MARIO LAND 3: TATANGA'S RETURN (2015-2016)

MARIO IS MISSING DONE RIGHT (2016)

SUPER MARIO BROS: THE EARLY YEARS (2016-2017)

SUPER LUIGI LAND (2017-2019)

SHORT BUT SWEET This is a collection of 4 mini-hacks I made during this time. These were usually side projects I did to keep my skills sharp and still do some hacking without burning myself out on the larger projects. Often, these would incorporate levels I had made for various hacking contests. One of them, Oiram's Invasion, is actually a contest entry itself, created for the 2013 12 Days Before Christmas contest. It's my highest-ranking contest entry on the site, having made it all the way to 3rd Place.

[ultmateragnarok]

See, the Fazbear Frights books particularly. A lot of them are absolutely outrageous, but the series has dealt with possession since the start, so some of that can be excused. The earlier ones are quite interesting, though - some deal in the fictitious science behind the stories, or additional and otherwise unexplored concepts. Phineas Taggart, the one responsible for the Stitchwraith, had made a whole long list of discoveries as to the true energy behind emotions, focusing on agony as the most potent, or at least most easily observable, one; an independent researcher discovering remnant and scientifically explainable hauntings. The story Fetch explores the methods behind mental links and communication to the point of mind reading, using actual research as a basis. Some are less confirmed - I personally see Bunny Call as a showcase of the ability of the human mind to create something it expects to be there, and this lines up with the games' original rules to the antagonists - the animatronics only move at specific times, because, as much as people don't want them to at all, that's when those knowing about them expect them to move.

However, storytelling in the FNaF universe has sort of deteriorated to a general mishmash of concepts with a few vague constants. Half a dozen semi-coherent and individual storylines include William Afton, who tends to die several times in each and just never accept it - sometimes logically, sometimes not. He's overused to death by now, of course, but some of the concepts still work while others never should've. Haunted animatronics, as the origin of the series, is obviously a big theme, but there's rarely anything additional to it. Hauntings can be varied - wandering spirits untethered might be capable of existing for a short time; or one could attach to a structure, a different object, or so on. William himself appears to have haunted his own body, or at least that's how I see him - a perpetual, biologically living corpse with a soul no longer tethered naturally to it driving it ever forwards. A lot of the designs deteriorated too throughout the series, though Security Breach is honestly one of the lesser offenders to that, since they're fairly logical (other than the ten thousand spare active endoskeletons down there for no given reason). Some concepts, such as the Mangle, were interesting even if haphazard in reality, while others, such as the continued operation of the Funtimes and some of their design choices, specifically the wires, are just too far out there. The illusion disks, while somewhat interesting, are a similar issue.

Security Breach will always be a sore spot to me, though, because of it being chopped apart and stitched back together into something smaller solely for an arbitrary release date. The game could've been a great addition to the series, but it just had to be released by Christmas, because apparently delaying it for one year another time wasn't acceptable, so now it's ruined the reputation of an entire company. I love some of the ideas shown, and it's clear where more of those were intended to be - each side attraction, for instance, has a dedicated animatronic for it, but they were never implemented. STAFF tunnels, which are still outright stated to connect the place together with the endos as an alternate threat to the animatronics above, don't do what they're said to - parts of them were left over in the game's files at once point, connecting to various locations. The map was shrunk moderately, and chopped into sections so that it's incomprehensible to navigate, because optimizing the game's performance wasn't happening with the timeframe - there's a window from Bonnie Bowl overlooking Roxy Raceway that's walled off; the entire backstage area and staff kitchen with cafeteria was cut; tunnels behind the Greenrooms still lead to the Backstage Hall but are walled off; areas such as El Chip's and the West Arcade or Roxy Raceway and an upper level of the Atrium are connected by inaccessible halls; and so much more, plenty of which is entirely unknown to us as well. The game had, and still has, so much potential, but was left like it is. SteelWool recently said they are apparently 'mostly happy with how the game is now', which is just absurd. I could make half a dozen additional Glamrocks on the spot as concepts with upgrades and boss fights, and the community has already made models for many more, yet a massive company can't be expected to do this and deliver by their own management because of the marketing half the game makes fun of anyways.

I love this franchise and its concepts, but I hate so many decisions and some of the people in charge sometimes. So much potential and attention squandered for nothing, because it happened exactly as anyone could've told those people it would've, yet they did it anyways.

i'm gonna be honest i stopped keeping track of the fnaf games after ucn

[xtruss]

The Ugly Face of China:

Mysterious automated calls, vanished relatives, and sinister Facebook comments: How China intimidates Uighurs who don't even live in the country

Uighurs abroad say they've received mysterious automated calls and Facebook comments, and seen their relatives vanish.

Alexandra Ma

A protester wearing a mask painted with the colors of the flag of East Turkestan — what Uighurs call Xinjiang — and a hand bearing the colors of the Chinese flag outside the Chinese consulate in Istanbul, Turkey, in July 2018.

— China is waging a widespread, coordinated mass crackdown on its Uighur Muslim minority.

— Though the brutal campaign is most active in the western Chinese region of Xinjiang, the Uighurs' homeland, many Uighurs abroad say they have also been targeted by Chinese agents.

— Members of the Uighur diaspora described receiving mysterious automated calls, eerie Facebook comments, and being threatened by Mandarin Chinese speakers in real life.

— Uighurs abroad have also discovered their relatives in Xinjiang vanished days after they spoke out against China's human-rights record.

China's unprecedented oppression of Uighur Muslims goes beyond the borders of Xinjiang, the western Chinese region where most of the ethnic minority live, former residents told Business Insider.

Under President Xi Jinping, China is waging a widespread counterterrorism campaign on Xinjiang, also known to Uighurs as East Turkestan. It is a paranoid move in response to a spate of ethnic riots between Uighurs and Han Chinese, the dominant ethnic group in the country, ten years ago.

The Communist Party sees Uighurs' religion — Islam — as a threat, and often conflates it with religious extremism.

For this reason, China apparently feels the need to control the Uighur diaspora outside the country in case they return home and carry out attacks.

Police patrol on a scooter as an ethnic Uighur boy stands in his doorway in the old town of Kashgar, Xinjiang, in June 2017.

“For those still outside the country for whom suspected terrorism cannot be ruled out, the border control reading will be carried out by hand to ensure that they are arrested the moment they cross the border," one government bulletin said.

"For those ... whom suspected terrorism cannot be ruled out, they should first be placed into concentrated education and training for examination," it added, referring to tightly-secured detention camps in the region, where former inmates say they are physically and psychologically tortured.

Copies of Chinese government documents that were leaked to a the International Consortium of Investigative Journalists displayed in November 2019. (Associated Press)

'Family and friends suffer the consequences'

Several members of the Uighur diaspora told Business Insider they've also been spooked by China without even having to step foot in the country.

Rushan Abbas, a Uighur activist living in Herndon, Virginia, discovered last September that her sister had been disappeared by Xinjiang authorities six days after she spoke out against China's human rights record. She still has no idea of her whereabouts.

“The Chinese government is basically holding her hostage for my speaking out about the horrific blatant human rights abuses of the Chinese government," Abbas told Business Insider last month.

"My sister's story is not unique. China harasses Uighurs in the diaspora's relatives back home, presenting them with heartbreaking choice: Keep silent about the horrific violations of human rights, or let your family and friends suffer the consequences for your choice for speaking out," she said.

"I am an example of that."

Bahram Sintash (right) and his father, Qurban Mamut, during Mamut's February 2017 visit to Washington, DC. (Courtesy of Bahram Sintash)

An entire business gone

Abbas is not the only foreign Uighur who has been punished in Xinjiang for their actions outside the region.

Bahram Sintash, a Uighur-American living in Chantilly, Virginia, has been campaigning for his father's release from the Xinjiang camps since October 2018. He has called on the Chinese government to reveal the whereabouts of his father, a retired magazine editor, through social media, protests, and speaking to journalists.

Sintash has been living in the US since 2008, but continued to visit his family in Xinjiang until 2015, when his Chinese visa was inexplicably revoked. That same year, he had opened a company in Urumqi, Xinjiang's capital city, to provide fitness supplements and workout plans to Uighurs in the region.

Sintash requested anonymity for his company to protect its former employees. But he said the business flourished, and had earned close to a million dollars.

That success came to an end in October 2018 — exactly two days after Sintash spoke to Radio Free Asia about his father's disappearance for the first time.

Sintash's father Qurban Mamut in Washington, DC, during a February 2017 visit. (Courtesy of Bahram Sintash)

Multiple police officers went to the company's office in Urumqi, took photos of every corner of the office, and told employees to leave as soon as possible, Sintash told Business Insider.

Shortly after the raid, police officers further questioned his colleagues, shut down his office, storage warehouse, and corporate social media accounts, he said.

"The police warned my partners to stop communicating with me and told them I was the enemy of the country living overseas," Sintash said.

"I couldn't get my money back from the region," he added. "I can no longer contact any business partners or my teammates or my customers."

Chinese President Xi Jinping at the Great Hall of the People, Beijing, in November 2018.

Sintash said he learned the news of his company's collapse not from any official correspondence from Xinjiang authorities, but from one of his customers.

There's no other way to verify it: His mother blocked him on WeChat last year for fear of getting in trouble with authorities, and all his phone calls to regional authorities about his father have gone unanswered.

Mysterious automated calls and Facebook messages

As some Uighurs lose touch with their family on the phone, others have received menacing messages from Chinese-speaking agents.

A protester wears a mask painted with Xinjiang or East Turkestan's flag and tears of blood in Brussels in April 2018.

Guly Mahsut, a Uighur Canadian living in Ottawa, reported receiving multiple automated calls from Mandarin Chinese-speaking agents in recent weeks.

A female caller had identified herself as the Chinese embassy and told her to pick up some documents. Mahsut told Business Insider that even as she kept blocking the numbers calling her, she kept receiving the same automated calls from other numbers.

It's not clear how the caller got Mahsut's phone number, what documents she is referring to, and why Mahsut was receiving these calls. Earlier this year she publicly questioned China's claim that it had released most inmates from Xinjiang's detention centers, telling Agence France-Presse she knew of a cousin and two friends still in the camps.

Listen to one of the recordings Mahsut received below, accompanied with a rough translation of the message verified by Business Insider:

The Chinese Embassy in Ottawa told Business Insider this call was a "telecommunications fraud," calling the caller "law breakers [who] use technical means to disguise phone numbers as embassies and consulates." It added that the alleged scam is "not targeted at a specific group of people."

Some 30 members of the Uighur diaspora in Norway have received dozens of automated calls from phone numbers connected to the Chinese embassy in Oslo, Al Jazeera reported last month.

One of the Uighurs, a naturalized Norwegian citizen, said she started receiving the calls after attending an anti-China rally on October 1.

The Chinese embassy in Oslo denied the calls in a similar manner to the London embassy, saying they were part of a scam.

Uighurs living in the US and France also told The Daily Beast and Foreign Policy last year that they had been asked for personal information including license plate numbers, bank details, ID photos, and marriage certificates — and threatened harm to their families in Xinjiang if they did not comply.

Uighur men pray before a meal during the Corban Festival, also known as Eid al-Adha, in Turpan, Xinjiang, in September 2016.

Sintash, the fitness company owner, has also received messages in Chinese threatening to harm his family.

In January 2019, he received a comment in simplified Chinese on Facebook, in response to a comment he had left in the Uighur language on another person's page.

You are a good son of the Chinese Communist Party. Your father has been released now," the comment read, without providing any evidence.

"I reckon you can keep selling your white powder [crying-eyes emoji]," the comment continued, in what Sintash took to mean his fitness supplements. "Strongly support you."

The account was registered under a Chinese name, and its profile photo was of a young Chinese woman.

The entire account has since been deleted. Business Insider last saw the post in February, and has preserved screenshots of the comment.

What I understood [from the comment] was: 'Keep obeying the Chinese Communist Party and shut your mouth. Your father is in our hands,'" Sintash told Business Insider.

"I felt threatened by the CCP."

Trolling people is not a new Chinese tactic. The country's propaganda department pays some two million people to publish pro-government posts and attack critics on social media, a Harvard University report found in 2016.

These commenters are known as the "wumao dang," which translates to "50 cent party" in Chinese — a reference to the amount of money in yuan they are allegedly paid per post. That's about $0.07.

'Your mother has died'

Another bizarre run-in with Chinese speakers took place in late October, when Sintash and other Uighur activists staged a protest outside the Capital One Arena in downtown Washington, DC.

As Sintash and 13 others held up signs and chanted slogans, a Han Chinese man — the largest ethnic group — went up to them and said: "Your mother has died" five times.

Video shows the group looking at the man, puzzled, as he walked away.

“He was a pro-CCP Chinese citizen who could've said anything to define [himself] ... but he chose to tell us 'your mother has died,'" Sintash said.

“I was shocked at the time. I never expected someone to deliver such an evil message while in the United States."

Those words were particularly jarring to Sintash, who hadn't spoken to his mother or anyone else in his family since February 2018. To this day, he still has no idea who that man was.

A man on his phone in Tiananmen Square, Beijing.

Will these threats stop Uighurs from speaking out for their families trapped in China? Probably not.

"They cannot control us," Sintash said. "China looks for people who are weaker mentally. I am different ... I have the US behind me."

“I never cared about politics in the past," he added. "What China is doing to the people in the region — we have to speak up. We have to stand up."

— Business Insider

[existentialstatesofmind]

Never A Dull Morning

Clare: didn't let boys see her undergarments. Even though she'd starting buying more interesting bras and panties last year, it was for herself not them. Of course Dakota hadn't actually done anything wrong. "It's just private." She explained. "Thank you for understanding." Her cheeks were still pink as she got dressed. Clare wasn't going to explain her weird logic in front of Emi. How she could go without wearing a bra in front of him but wasn't ready for him to see it. Clare was a little shocked after she succesfully beat up Bren. She'd learned how to do that after the whole Fitz threatening her and Eli with a knife incident because it was important to be able to defend herself. Had she gone too far? Bren hadn't actually touched her. Emi was here though and she needed to know it wasn't okay for boys to talk to girls like that even ones who weren't strangers. (Although to Clare, Bren was.) Bren didn't get a free pass. Especially after behaving like that in front of a five year old! He should be ashamed of himself! Besides Clare knew she couldn't hurt Bren badly, she didn't know how to do more than (hopefully) get him to leave her alone from now on. She stepped outside with Kota and slowly breathed in and out trying to calm down. "Is he always like that?" Clare asked. "No problem. I don't want to confuse her. Foreign languages aren't easy for me. I always want to pronounce words exactly how they are written. But in Spanish a J is prounced like an H, in Russian an I is pronounced like an E. So on and so forth. I guess that's why I like French, it's the same alaphabet as English so it's slightly less confusing for me. The difference is the French use diacritics." Clare shrugged. She didn't give up easily and at least she had been right about how to say sushi after all. She felt better by the time they went back inside. Clare smiled at Ash and Emi. "Emi did a good job. He's still down." She knew that wouldn't last much longer so she gladly escaped to the living room with Kota and Emi. Clare sat down on the couch. She bit her lip when Emi asked about purity rings. This was part of the reason why she felt like it was necessary to shut Bren up. Emi didn't need to hear about anything that pretained to sex. Of course she had questions now. Kota was lucky she only asked that one and didn't seem to care that he didn't give her a real answer. Clare winced soon as she heard the name Jenna. Maybe it was a different Jenna? No, soon as Kota got to the part about her trashy short shorts and her purposedly bending over (so everyone could see her buttcrack), Clare knew Dakota was referring to the her former friend. Who stole K.C from her using that exact tactic. He wasn't worth keeping and neither was Jenna's friendship. "I didn't know big mouth already told you all of that before we started hanging out." Clare said softly. "I guess she's still bragging about it. She's been trying to get with every guy since K.C got sick of her. Alli's brother, Sav, turned her down too. She's going to get the baby taken away from her because she won't stay home with him and there's no one else to watch him. I'd feel bad for Jenna but Owen threw my best friend Adam through a glass door for being transgender so...if that's who she wants to be with her baby deserves better." She squeezed Dakota's hand as he confessed to Kelly about his false reputation. Clare knew people might get the wrong idea when they found out she was dating Dakota especially if someone learned about their sleepover(s) but she didn't care. Anyone who mattered wouldn't believe a rumor over the truth. If Jesus Club did to her what they did to her sister, she didn't need to be part of it. However, she hoped they'd changed along with their name. Clare smiled back at him and chuckled because she'd always been able to take care of herself and now she could stand up for herself too. Well, by doing more than slapping boys and making a scene by yelling at them. The other girls at school needed to learn how too instead of relying on Kota to play superman. "I like you just the way you are even if you're reckless. There are some situations you can't get out of alone, she needed a friend." Clare reassurred him after Kelly left. "Just give them the card from now on. Kelly's right. Her dad could've killed you." She shuddered. Clare scooted closer to Dakota when Bren came in. "Do you even realize that was sexual harassment and if you keep doing it, someday a women will press charges against you and you'll go to jail." She said seriously. "You can't grope girls because you like the way we look, just like we can't do it to you. Or each other. Or a guy to another guy." She shook her head. Bren had Genesis all wrong. They were still living with the consequences of Adam and Eve's betrayal. The bible also said that outside of marriage sex was a sin. Even if you didn't believe that, there were other reasons to wait and she didn't plan to do something she'd regret. "Yeah! Let's go after breakfast before it gets too hot. Outside." She frowned. "The only problem is I don't have any exercise clothes here." Clare didn't want to wear her new outfit to the park. She supposed she could make do with what she'd worn over to Kota's in the first place.

Kota: nodded when Clare reassured him after Kelly left and kissed her cheek. "Thank you." he whispered and listened to her chide Bren. He knew that they've been there with him. "Yea, I know. That's why I ask to touch a girl's breasts. They taught me about sexual harassment in school and as long as I don't touch her without permission the most the girl will do is beat the crap out of me. So much easier in Bristol." Bren whined. "Yea, he's got a hard head. He went to Bristol and into a night club where he made a friend. She took a pill, made out with him for about ten minutes, then her boyfriend came and we got a call from the hospital. Bren had to get stitches and had a broken arm. We just sort of gave up after that." he explained to Clare. "The guy had a hard punch, once the girl realized he was beating me up, she called the cops, grabbed him and ran. I'm friends with her on facebook, she asked when I'm going back to Bristol." Bren explained to Clare. "And didn't her boyfriend threaten to kill you if you ever touched her a fourth time since you had to go find her after you go out of the hospital?" Kota asked looking at him. "Yea, but that's just a threat." Bren stated and Kota rolled his eyes. "I wish I could just beat the shit out of you right now, but it'll be futile. I only continued to help because I thought you were done with that girl and could actually change. She's fucking strung out on drugs. That night you were in the hospital she was too, an hour later she tried to kill herself because of the drugs she took. Does that really mean nothing to you, do you not see how much she's calling for help?" Kota asked. "So what she just needs to stop taking whatever drug made her want to die. If she were mine and came to me every night I'd be the happiest man alive regardless if she's strung out or not. They can help the suicide thing." Bren shrugged and Kota got up seeing the headphones still on Emi. "Bren, sex isn't worth your life nor is a girl. Who cares if she got strung out and made out with you, she's fuck-" "I don't care." Bren yelled back and Kota felt a hand on his shoulder to see his mom. "From the first time I held you, I knew you'd be trouble. You acted out more than any of your brothers and never wanted to stay. You were always trying to leave to go wherever, soon that changed and you started going after girls not caring about anyone, but you. I had these papers printed out and money put aside. They're emancipation papers, if you really want this I won't stop you anymore." She said holding his suitcase in hand and he took the papers. "I know you don't care what happens to you, but we do. I think you may need this, to go on your own for a bit and come home to us. Maybe this will help you be a better man." she said as she signed the papers after him and handed him his suitcase and passport. "There's money in there with an address book to friends I've made and keep in touch with in various countries." she said. "And I can be with Iona?" he asked curiously. "This was only an act to be with her?" Kota asked. "Well yea." Bren answered. "If that's what you want." His mom said and Bren took his things and left. "He never unpacked his things. I knew he didn't want to stay." his mom explained and he sat back down. "Maybe this will open his eyes." Kota breathed and laid his head on Clare's shoulder. After she mentioned going to the park after breakfast, he watched as Kelly bought out a plate of pancakes while Dallas carried the plates, Stacy carried sets of silverware wrapped in napkins and Ash and Dom carried sides. Without a word, Kota went to the kitchen and grabbed bottles of juice for everyone, then sat next to Clare and Emi. "Kelly, do you still have those yoga shorts that were too small?" he asked looking at her. "Yea." she answered. "I need them for Clare." He said honestly. "They're in the same place in my room. Also you're on wash duty later after Dallas does the basics. I have Victoria's Secret lingerie that needs to be washed and you're the only one who doesn't shrink them besides Stacy and she has to go home. I also have work." Kelly said and he nodded. "Ok, Stacy do you need your Victoria's Secret lingerie washed?" he asked looking at her. "Yea. Dallas will get them for you when you're ready to do the laundry. Dallas cut some of the tags off mine so that should help a bit. My bras and other items have tags." Stacy explained and he nodded as he ate. "Dom is helping me separate the Victoria's Secret from everything." Dallas stated. "Ash and I will do the dishes then." Stacy stated honestly. "Ok, that leaves Kota and Clare to the floors after dinner." Kelly said. "I wanna help." Emi stated. "We just pick up big items and leave the rest to the roomba." he informed Clare as he continued to eat. After breakfast was done, Kota went and got the shorts for Clare and one of his shirts too. "I'll go change in Dom's bathroom." he smiled at her as he handed her the clothing and kissed her chastely before going to change.