#it could be really cool or really clichee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xdazzlex · 5 months ago

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so many interesting points that I can or could have relate/d to over the years, hope it's okay to respond to it <3

yes, honestly at some point it's not the low self-esteem that keeps you away from dating. It's the lack of dating that keeps your low-self esteem where it is.

these clichees are super frustrating. There's plenty of people who have met online (and are now married & kids) precisely because there were very expecting of finding someone. At the same time, the nonchalant, 'not-giving-a-flying, serial daters, casual daters, etc... are the ones who don't have relationships. They are too emotionally unavailable.

'Love yourself"... Does this mean that I should put myself first? Where do I stop & cross the line? Because honestly if I am to spend every day "loving myself" then I'll a) earn a lot money, b) only do my hobbies, c) work out, d) sleep, e)meet my platonic friends & family f) continue to go on lone holidays like I've been over the past... several years :D *Everywhere* alone. Always. Parks, museums, mountains, concerts, *everything*. And yes, dining along. In fact I've been doing all the things that so many people have told me they couldn't ever do on their own... They need someone. I stopped waiting and started experiencing. I can pay for my own fancy dinner, thanks. I also won't have to put any special clothes there... or makeup. It sure is fun. To the point that I'd find the presence of another person annoying. Unless he could just walk after me, keep my pace and shut up most of the time. But it's treating people like accessories/walking dogs. So... Yes, I am loving myself. I've gotten to love myself so much that I no longer have space for anyone else, because that would mean serious compromising...

I also used to think there's definitely something wrong. I saw girls who were uglier/dumber than me, rude and loud, etc etc. And at some point, when in high school, every girl around me (aside from one who was a hard-core Christian-family-raised-dog-on-a-leash that got... forgive the pun... loose once she moved out). I once overheard two guys from high school say about the two of us: 'Man, they're weird" - 'Nah, the slim one (me) is really okay, the fat one (my hardcore Christian friend) is just weird tho". Anyway, there were some girls who were *also* midly disabled (I am, but it's not visible), nowhere near as pretty (I get compliments... only from other women though... but all the time even now well into my 30s :D). And there were girls who were like the MeanGirlsTM, literally. And there were the weird introverted ones (so sort of like me), and there were the super average ones. The cute-girly ones, and the buddy-types (that stupid women's mags can't choose to adise you to be or discourage you from being.. in order to attract male attention). And they all had boyfriends. No rules. Literally, my immature INTJ mind could find no patterns whatsoever.

I then began dating. Mostly not to die a virgin. I managed to find my 1st bf online. He was crap, so we didn't do it :P Thank God! Then another... we did do it... Thank God! Because he was super handsome and it all felt like a cool 70s erotica movie... my first time. I then learnt about depersonalisation and how it's a disorderly state of mind due to trauma lol :D But I still feel I'm lucky and I love my first time. I then dumped him only so as to be able to do it first, because I knew it was coming. Then I found my first "from-IRL" boyfriend. We ended up even living together. We dated for 3 years. And that was a period of awakening. Constant drama & BS. No week without some arguing etc. A borderline sociopathic whiny b*tch. He dumped me when I didn't agree to lend him *any more* money (he'd owened me 12K by that time.... my monthly salary was

Anyway, meanwhile, because served as a pro-bono psychotherapist, I meanwhile learnt a lot. So there are some of the things I've figured out already. Still... considering that I couldn't be the only girl out there who was traumatised, plus let's not just pretend that all the high school/college guys are sane and can detect a 'wounded deer' from a mile to keep away from her (not including even the sociopaths who'd prey on such). I still don't get why I was the only undatable one. Anyway, I noticed that any time I seriously wasn't looking for a relationship (e.g. because I'd just gotten out of one OR I was at the early stages of dating), indeed more guys seemed to notice my presence. Still, never enough to e.g. start some friendly chat, etc.

I meanwhile wen on so many dates with so many men... most of the time, there was never a second date. And we're talking 50+ guys over the past... 10 years? Including the couple years when I had relationships... so while it's 5 on average per year, consider that there were years without a single date. (also the years in which I focused on my diploma paper).

I still appreciate the time. I know that I'd have been so unhappy now if thing had gone differently. I come from a poor family, so I've been woring my ass off to be where I am (a head of one uni department + lecturing at another uni + many other cool things going on for me). I know I'd have been long pregnant numerous times and a sad SAHM, etc. Perhaps even divorced or close to it. So I used all this time to my advantage to learn about what my dealbreakers, standards, etc. should be.

So here I am in my little comfy life... Where if I were to be with a guy, he'd hve to add something not take away... So most guys won't do. 95% of males I pass on the street earn less. 98% are les educated. Let's go further: I'm a handsome (not cute) 30 y o who's often taken as a 28 y o. And not as 'false compliments'. I'm back on the track with my workout routine for the past several months, so I'm bimboing myself up. I've figured whether it's "for a guy" or not, I can look cool regardless. I recently though... on the one hand it'd be sad to find someone only when I'm old... I wish there was someone to appreciate (and collect enough memories to reminisce in the old age) me and my looks while i'm still young. But then again, I'm looking for a connoiseur, not a junk-food-like-relationships fan.

to be continued.... :P

More and more people have started talking about this online which is really nice to see, but I kinda just wanted to go off on a little tangent about never really dating or having much romantic experience and how that has effected my self esteem.

I feel like people say the cliche things like “learn to love yourself first” or “it’ll come when you least expect it” but honestly the more I hear it, the more frustrated I become.

I won’t lie, when I was younger I really did think something HAD to be wrong with me in some way for nobody to see me in a romantic light. It’s taken a lot of work to build myself up into the person I am today, and I’m genuinely very proud of how far I’ve come in terms of the way I feel about myself and my body and the way I’m perceived. I still have bad days, but I don’t think there’s a single person out there who doesn’t. But those bad days are few and far between.

I can honestly say that I do love myself. I think I’m a good person and a kind person and a patient person. I’m a romantic at heart and I have so much love to give but nobody to give it to.

I’ve never had anyone actively seek me out for a relationship. I’ve never been formally asked on a date, the one boyfriend I have had ended up cheating on me.

When you go through life like that, never receiving any kind of validation that you are worthy of being viewed in that way, it becomes incredibly difficult to believe you ever will. It’s so so hard for me to imagine someone else loving me or being interested in that way. Like I can honestly say that I don’t really know what to do if someone compliments me, I doubt I’d really know if I was being flirted with….. and as much as I would really love to get the opportunity to experience romance, I feel like I’ve been so conditioned to think that it’s something that I’ll never have that I wouldn’t be able to identify romantic interest if it hit me with the force of a speeding train.

Maybe this all sounds incredibly trivial and shallow, but honestly I just want to understand what it feels like to have someone love me that way. Yes I have friends and family who love me, but familial and platonic love just aren’t the same.

And onto the topic of “It’ll come when you least expect it” or “just wait, it’ll happen when the time is right.” WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO WAIT TO BE LOVED! I see so many people experiencing romance every day, why not me? Am I not just as deserving?

This whole rant might come off as bitter, and maybe I am. I just hope at the very least that maybe someone else can relate and maybe feel a little less alone in their experience.

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lemme-just-oops · 2 years ago

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Heyo, hope you have a good day!🤗

I wanted to request how the Arcana Twilight boys react to their partner when you call them by their name and not by an endearment after being together for a long time. As well what they do and say🤭

Alpheratz: He does not notice, at all. Even other people notice before he does. And when asked about it, he just shrugs it off. But the realization exists now. Considers if he would even like a nickname, but realizes that the sound of his name from your lips is sweeter than any name he could come up with.

Arcturus: His friends call him "Arcky", and he hoped you'd do it too. And when months or even a year pass, he notices that it feels weird that you still use his name. He will explain it nervously, because he considers it a weird request and he would not be upset if you do not use his nickname. But the first time you do, you just caused a firework in his brain. Whatever you wanted to say, he only heard the nickname and is blooming now. Please repeat what you said.

Pollux: He gives you every escalated nickname he can. Your fsvorite food is pasta? He calls you Noodles. You like the scent of cinnamon, you are now his Cinnamon. How you know that he refers to you is a mystery to everyone else. Did not realize that he has no nickname until a few months and will ask you directly to call him "Sugar". But before you can even comprehend it, he will have trouble accepring it. Sugar sounds too clichee, so why not something cool like "Lumberjack"? That sounds weird, so why not call him "Pox"? Like the sickness? He will burn his brain out and forget why he is thinking about nicknames, so he will not realize the lack of nicknames for the next week. If you do decide to use a nicknane for him, anything is gonna get his heart flustered, even if it is "Giraffe".

Sirius: He has been calling you "Summoner" since you met, which is the most casual title he had. It became a habit. If you want him to call you by your name, he will negotiate. He will do so, if you call him Agent. Why? It sounds cool and mysterious, and because both of you will cringe by next month if you do. Ask him how he named you on his phone. He has you saved as: "Moonlight."

Spica: As much as he likes nicknames, he does not want to accidentally send you a professional letter signed with "your lover." Since most of your conversations go in deoth, there barely is a need to call each other by name. In fact, he realized how little he uses your name as well. But if you give him any nickname, you will have the best effect with one that includes his looks. If you just call him Gorgeous or Beauty, he is more than satisfied.

Vega: For someone who claims to not understand nicknames, he asks you for a specific one quite a lot. It is not even a real nickname, but a completely different name. "Hans". You have as much of a clue as anyone else, really. His nicknames for you are even worse. "Treehouse." If you ask hin to explain why he calls you that, he explains that you remind him of one. You would need to torture him for a more specific explanation, because he says it is obvious enough.

#WHY DO I DO THIS TO VEGA #love him tho #arcana twilight #arcturus #otome game #pollux #alpheratz #sirius #vega #spica #request

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zkretchy · 3 years ago

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Okay so your namir tag refreshed and I'm currently 👀👀👀ing at all the cool stuff that wasn't there 5 seconds ago but if you have more lore pls share, he seems delightful

soooooooooooo this got out of hand...haha Word counting says this is about 4.000 words so you may be able to imagine the length of this post I'll do my best to format it~

First I'll get a couple ideas out of the way

There are 2 Gods, one I'll call Chimera and another Abyss

They both are from a different world than the one this takes place in

Chimera was created by tossing a multitude of people into a blender and letting that stew ...so I also made little doodles to not write everything out and see what to focus on so you'll see them here starting now

Abyss meanwhile was born human, got experimented upon to get the fresh new and hot powers that invaded their world-but later got the same multitude of people at the end of their world (although those people gave basically their souls willingly to her)

In THIS world people worship Chimera; first as a single God, and later this all got separated into 5 different Gods

There was one main group serving Chimera and getting their powers in return, which then also split into 5 groups over time (basically a deal to better do their jobs-instead of doing everything half-assed do one thing really well kinda thing)

And of course the good old emotions controlling magic kinda stuff-this is more true for Chimera&Abyss and everyone involved with them since they brought the concept with them into this world

Basically in Abyss' words what you get from the slosh that infected their world(and thus them) into getting magic is a „Demon“ which is your emotions given form

Which considering they are usually created via good old torture since that always gave a quick intense response that could form into something magical (so called demons in Abyss' world) and physical

Either you get overtaken by your now very physical and intense emotions (again, trauma is a fun thing responding to any situation) or you are good at dealing with your emotions (hello Abyss)

Or option 3 is being good at dealing with someone elses emotions, because the God worshipping groups and helpers gain their powers by taking part of their God and fusing that with their own bodies (be it via blood infusion or just straight up organ implants or stuff like that)

So you get a power up (yay magic!) but you also get the emotional burden of something that was blended together by multiple miserable people-also add on the physical strain of just something from a God not from this world with magic also not from this world being put into your very from this world-body

Namir's group did this whole God Power-Up thing slowly but more intense; they'd infuse blood over a time and then put in a bigger part of their God (organs, eyes, skin and whatnot)-so while the body had more time to get used to the new bullshit it also had a lot more to deal with then if you were to „just“ get a syringe full of blood once(which is what the rest did)

Also I did little doodles to further give info but also decide what to focus on So have the whole "emotions given form woops that took over" simplified

and of course also "How to make Chimera"

Basically his heart looks like an eldricht monstrosity to go keep blood pumping and going so it can reach everywhere and so his body as a whole is used to the strain that God-Powers can give you (as mentioned above) (and seen below-i gt at least this part of the world's lore)

Let's start at the beginning with Namir aka when he died before even seeing the light of day because his mother got hunted down and killed when she was pregnant with him.

Sucks but lucky for him his family and thus mother had kind of a deal going with Abyss(mostly because she was bored and went „Well I have been called a demon in my past life for obvious reasons so I might as well lean into the clichee“) and so Namir's mother asked Abyss to go keep him alive-and she did (yay) by essentially giving him some of her powers.

So from a young age he already had to deal with emotions being just that bit more overwhelming, even though they weren't literally physical (Abyss made sure of that-imagine a toddler with the rage of an old God in the body of like a dragon or something-not a great combo so she kept that part in check as much as possible although his body and mind already were just somewhat off the regular human starts due to aformentioned heart issue)

Anyhow, normal human-times Namir had the misfortune of being an orphan, having eventually been found by people of his (well his mothers) village who didn't want to stab him.

The place wasn't exactly rich and just going further downhill over the years, making deals with the wrong people, being in debt, stealing and population control until they basically were taken over completely by bandits years later when Namir was long gone-but back to child Namir.

He basically took on the role of caretaker when he got old enough to actually do things. No one even expected him to survive because no one really went to care for a baby that was seen as a waste of resources, hoping he'd quietly die of sickness or something (didn't want him, didn't want to kill him either because THATS the immoral thing to do because then it's directly your fault, otherwise it was the illness, oh they just couldn't have done more oh woe is them~-stuff)

But he didn't so he grew up and helped out his siblings by stealing extra food and money where he could, redirecting punishments onto him or just keeping attention on him and all that stuff.

Basically Namir goes „I'd lay down my life for you if it wouldn't mean you'd starve and die“ and Abyss is in the background like „please stop trying to do that do you know how hard it is to keep a child's body intact“ trying her best to keep a promise made.

Couple of years later with village going further downhill Namir and his siblings are sold away to the general group of people who serve Chimera in all their bits and pieces. Some stay with him, others get sent to other groups because they may actually work better with their kind of work or possible powers.

Namir basically also adopts whoever is younger than him in his group after like 5minutes-which isn't hard because at this point he is one of the oldest still-kids.

Like I said-this group takes things slow so while a couple of his siblings who went to other groups either survived or died post-God-blood, they are still in training.

Namir hasn't really stopped his habits of stealing and hiding his siblings from danger, which gets him into the usual trouble-and eventually a barfight in a city they were visiting when he got caught trying to steal from a drunk guy. He escaped mostly unscathed except for a black eye, a headache and the cut on his lip that'd scar later. Still got scolded for it by his...well teacher really who heard the commotion and went to get him out (and well, no one was stupid enough to try to fight someone they knew had enough magic to flatten a house probably...this day and there)

Eventually Namir got through the whole God-conversion or whatnot (look, I will think up fitting words for ALL of this, job titles, names, descriptions, but today is not the day xD); some of his cohort did, most didn't as per usual.

Now, Namir already has his Abyss-made heart, and got the extra power by a whole other God, so he basically had twice the strain on him.

What this Gods powers gave him was basically an actual „form“ his emotions could be poured into. This could be anything from just some extra claws to a whole shapeshift into a giant mass of black and eyes.

That kind of thing is really more the way magic worked for Abyss'&Chimera's world-with the whole demon stuff made of emotions etc etc So his I guess demonic/emotional form is more of a mix of what Abyss and this God brought to the table-Abyss is basically...well a black void with a shitload of eyes and so is his form-while the God of their group is basically...imagine a Cat on 8legs with maybe more hidden but you can't know for sure because it's also very much on fire. So yeah, big black semi-shapeless void cat with many eyes which may or may not delve more into a general dragony-shape because I am weak and love dragon aesthetics (that's why semi-shapeless)

With that he is a lot more basic than some of the other abilities I gave to the rest (telekinesis, pack instincts aka control animals/beasts/monsters, magnetism, just control an entire tree and grow your own forest i guess-that stuff) considering he „only“ can shapeshift-which is more an extension of what Abyss gave him from the get-go, and he is really hard to kill and heals fast (which again is basically doubling down on Abyss' stuff-can you note that he gets more from Abyss who loves and cares for the child she was busy keeping alive than the God who he got thrown in front of and who may or may not even know his name? Idk if you can tell that Namir is supposed to be just somewhat off what is considered normal in many circumstances in terms of the whole power-stuff at least xp)

Namir kept his general snarkiness and distrust towards the world and habit of „grab everything possible because you might need it who knows when you can get it again“-which is fair enough for someone whose job it now is to go find work and by work I mean kill who or what other people want him to kill (is it a cockroach? Is it your local mayor? Or is it 2 rabid wyverns instead of one like you have been assured multiple times?) (also before i forget it-he very much does also do his best to charm people into trust him or at least being more open-he may not actually care for them but he'll be damned if he gets fucked over just because someone didn't like him a bit more-and hey, if he actually finds someone who turns out genuinely nice then all the better)

The last one was what has gotten his left shoulder (or part between shoulder joint and neck) torn up close enough where he almost lost his arm-he may have panicked a little about that while trying not to pass out from bloodloss-and failing.

He didn't loose the arm, which did it's best to go together again despite quite a lot missing, but he did loose a bit of every-day function and comfort (stiff joints, slower movement, hurts when strained and sometimes just because his body decides to be a shit).

Fun Fact: Such really shit injuries are also a more common problem with the group he was raised in since their increased God-magic-ness also means they are in general harder to kill; so while others may die in comfort they get to trod on with some new chronic pain or other problems. Namir again just always had more hardiness.

This has happened a while after he started meeting up with Garvin, who surprised him in the room Namir had boarded for the time it'd take him to put down then Wyvern(s).

It's also the first time Namir relented and let someone else take care of him and not just go lick his wounds alone or while trying to comfort someone else as well (progress-only some and god he will go back to his bad habits of „Everyone deserves comfort and something good-except for me, I have to be perfect at everything for the people I care about(not the rest though dont care about them let them rot)“ often enough)

btw, the way he actually stuck around Garvin was basically Namir annoying him into staying. Namir saw Garvin of the supposedly 2nd most stuck up God-part who is oh so great, ridding the world of such dangerous things as a big snake living in an uninhabitated swamp because the King of shit-lands thinks it doesn't look good there-anyhow, saw him be not so stuck-up and also be much more harsh about the lives they live (which isn't being some saint come on) and all that that Namir decided to see what all that is about (should also be noted that this is the first time Namir actually met anyone from this group, he just heard things about them and saw their leader when it was decided who had to be with which God)(that said Garvin is definitely more rough around the edges than most his colleagues-I mean, he is good with herbs and anything apothecary but decided not to use his new-magic for any of that because the people who put him through the God-transforming wanted him to. So he just...never uses his magic or knowledge because that would help them and affirm them in killing a bunch of people to get a couple with powers. Ignore the fact that he could make his own life easier etc etc thats character development to be done it's fine shush this is about Namir)

Now I mentioned the whole emotions made physical=demons stuff and this was one such situation where it did help Namir because that manifestation kept his arm together since he was so panicked about it.

In the same way if he were panic about someone getting hurt it'd make him throw himself in front of the danger in all the shapeless-eye filled-abyssal glory.

Or, you know, if he were to get up shortly after having another Gods power shoved into him, still being disorientated and in pain and just angry and frustrated because he can already tell who died and who is still struggling through and all that mess-that might eventually all bubble up when he goes visits his birthplace again and just seethes at the unfairness of it all (general hurt, no choice, childhoods taken away and so on) and just go on a rampage on the now-bandit-infested village.

Nowadays the island it was on has been declared cursed and no one wants to set a foot on it because Namir made sure no one that was on there stayed alive when he left after taking the rather unhealthy route of of venting his frustrations into the world.

That also may have messed him a little up because if such emotions being dragged into the forefront by something you can't control and has also been forced upon you then how the hell are you supposed to deal with them (other than ignoring anything and everything bad as before, just even more now because obviously he failed because he couldnt just ignore over a decade of hurt :) oops)

So yeah it's basically something made of „bad“ emotions (hurt pain fear etc) coming to the forefront when the person with it feels the same emotions.

Now that the demon stuff is out of the way-mostly; I am dear to the concept so idk if I'll sprinkle in more info that I may or may not have forgotten on the way-let's go more to Namir's design and weapons and stuff for the moment.

He uses two slightly curved swords which he keeps mostly hidden. One of them is quite a bit longer so it's less hidden than the shorter one. He of course also has a dagger or two strapped away underneath his jacket-just in case.

The most protection he really has and needs is his leather jacket and boots. He also wears some leather braces bound in cloth to hide the leather (leaning into false appearances a bit because to him that looked too much like someone battle-ready) which also serve to hide some markings left by Abyss which a couple of people may recognize as such.

Other than that the cloak I usually draw him with made it's appearance post Wyvern-fight. It keeps his bad arm (and thus weakness) hidden, brings some extra warmth and also brings in more fabric to hide weapons behind-or the bulk of his body if someone tries to hit him but instead only meets fabric.

Later on there is also a blue sash that he uses above and around his sword belt. Helps keep the swords more secure and also brings an extra bit of fabric between the leather and his skin (otherwise all between that would be a simple light shirt). And it gives me something to add Garvin's blue colour onto for relationship significance or something because that is absolutely a late-ish addition.

Another design note is that Namir usually kept his hair shorter, maybe up to neck but grew it out also post-Wyvern.

First because he couldn't get to it properly and refused to ask for help and later because he actually grew to like it that way. But yeah, most of its growth came from not being able to get to it either movement or pain wise and not wanting to find someone to do it for him. So at best he tried to keep it out of his face and just go on with life.

Back to colour-schemes: There actually isn't much of Abyss' scheme in his usual design(aside from said hidden markings but since I never drew that it doesn't count yet)-only the demon ones. However, the gold of his eyes is the colour I use for Chimera's powers. He gets to keep that colour constantly while with others it's not as prevalent or may only show when actually doing magic or whatnot.

Like I said previously, the scar on his upper lip was from a barfight in his teens or barely teens, and the shoulder one was from wyverns.

He also had a bit of his left ear taken out which further back hidden by hair nowadays continues as a scar. That one he got from missing an arrow which luckily did not get stuck in his brain.

Another one he also got by being too cocky is from the middle of his stomach down to his left hip, caused by a bandits dagger.

The rest so far at least are stray attacks from monsters or people but nothing I am really set on or thought of too much.

Now this is where my pc crashed and I didn't get to save so there is a page missing-aka either I will remember some information later or I will repeat stuff buuuuut let's go into just general fun fact that I couldn't think of off the top of my head and encountered later in all my saved files which are pure chaos

There is a bit of a conversation I noted down between Namir and Abyss just to get their voices down and also a better idea of the worlds' lore: Abyss „If you have power that can be influenced by emotions it's demonic. It's as simple as that.“ Namir „but the powers given to us by the Gods are also influenced by emotion. Especially for me and my siblings.“ Abyss „Just as demonic as what you always had. So congratulations; you are twice the demon as your siblings. Literally. Demons for this world are a simple thing really. They are emotions made manifest. All your anger and hatred and love and whatnot turned into one more shard making up all you broken people. There are better ways to achieve all that than to traumatize a bunch of kids but who am I to know, I only created it.“

A little trait I decided to give Namir is being a rather picky eater because he doesn't like mushy foods. Most fruits and vegetables are 50/50-he absolutely cuts around any blemishes on an apple, it doesn't matter that he can eat basically anything, he will not let that texture anywhere near his mouth thank you. I think as a kid who got to starve he'd actually quite like when he got hard bread for himself since that definitely won't be squishy.

Fun Fact: God powers or not, the people who got them can still get sick. With some it's often but barely noticeable, with Namir it's once a blue moon but if it hits it's there to stay and cause havoc. I mean it had to get through multiple defenses to it must be something hard hitting. That mixed in with the body prioritising healing more difficult and threatening things like an infection from a poisoned claw or something than something as common as a cold which is barely noticeable and doesn't register as a threat even makes for some fun times for Namir and his siblings who have similar problems when they actually do get to experience the joy of a flu or something.

Also Namir's batch was a bit of a more experimental one to see how much emotional control can be sustained and how much power can be gained. Didn't go great so it's generally more emotions with all the magic for all of them. One of his siblings, Missy, has magnetism powers which is fun to see when she is angry because there will be a knife or 10 floating around her ominously.

He is also rather stand-offish with the people in his groups older than him-mostly any authority figure While they all are basically a giant family or many medium families of a large group he just can't bring himself to fully believe there is such a thing as a goodfamily (yet) (and yes even with him as basically the parent because he is aware that he can't be that and he can't give enough) So even when they had homes and food and all he still went out to get extra food or blankets or whatnot and look for safe spots to run away to or others to hide in just in case

While it does take him a while to really trust somebody and be fine with them around in general or even near him, he is rather cuddly and touch-starved So if he does grow closer to someone you will either have him use you as a human blanket or be used as such

Another Namir line is: „The Gods don't care for people. Me being alive is proof enough of that“ Both in terms of him being allowed around despite being with Abyss And after the village-massacre the Gods still letting him be despite...all that slaughtering

also pretty sure sarcasm, snarkyness and resourcefullness runs in the family but that may just be because kid and teen Namir looked at a bunch of kids younger than him and went „Is anyone going to parent that?“ and didn't wait for an answer Not set on whether or not he actually would like being a parent because this all is just so much out of his control and him being a decent human being (I mean, I don't want kids but that doesn't mean I'd let one starve if I can help them, you know? I do however think he is good with kids. But the story never went into the direction of „Should I adopt a child?“ or into any AUs where I had to answer THAT question-he does love his siblings and other ppl and likes to make them happy and so on, but that is not something special or indicative of „adult with a job and a child, all willingly“ being an option? So yeah, I may know a lot about him but with that I think I'd go shrug and be „whatever fits the current thoughts I or you may have at the time“ and just not go further into it-for now...who knows)

Sooooooooooo....I did cut this down a lot over the days-and then bloated it out with pictures

But I hope you had fun with the biggest general oc-lore-dump I have made so far simply due to the amount that I think about Namir <-<' If you're wondering what got cut: General world lore and I ignored Namir's other cohorts and people he interacts with for the most part.

Anyhow, that's like 4.000 words of talking about Namir and such and then a couple more in this end bit so Hope you enjoyed, if you want more lore on anyone or anything else....be prepared for words I guess?

And lastely, with the talk about Namir being able to shapeshift (very limited) I also had to give him a small, not house sized-form...so

#txts #namir #asks #shadowy-dumbo-octopus #ocs #oc lore #take a shot every time i write supposed #long post #no like...seriously this has little pictures and shit #no overly detailed big things just doodled but still #art #it counts #and i am not putting my entire reference file on this post-i'll spare you that #you 'hi i want to know more about namir if you're willing to share :D'#me with a torn apart book looking slightly wild '....................................................................i might'#look i know you included worldbuilding thoughts #but if i put that in that'd double the text #so not yet-not all of it #just whats important to namir stuff #i rly should make an illustrated digital like book thingie or smth #for the aesthetics #and to keep information simplified for the public #also the last pic had to happen #namir-literally born basically cursed and later created to be a weapon #garvin holding him up like a noodle 'yes the most dangerous beast of them all-truly going to destroy us all'#i was about to say the only one who might outdramatic namir could be balgair bc i gave all my trans energy to them #but then i remembered basically everyone in namirs found family of fucked-up god powered people and #.....i think its in the genes #I'll leave it at this now #if i forgot smth or tumblr screws with it i'll be able to change it later

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lumilasi · 3 years ago

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I’ve been struggling to write this one for a month or something now, so I decided to give y’all a sneak peek on the latest Spinaraki one-shot request I’m writing. IDK when I’ll finish it tho, I’m still struggling to decide how to end it. Also I’ve been wanting to focus on writing all the remaining chapters for Depths as that one is nearly finished. Tomura/Tenko is almost home.

Anyway, here’s the sneak peek:

Going through the third week, the weather was still very warm, so warm that Spinner finds Tomura awake one night, clearly unable to sleep due to the heat - or maybe he was insomniac, at this point he wasn’t sure.

Tomura was only wearing loose-fitting black pants with a thin canvas to them, glancing up at him from the couch he’d sat on, TV running in the background while kept on low volume, probably had been to try and not wake him up. Spinner could tell he was sweaty from the heat with how his hair was sticking to his skull. It was totally just the hair he was looking, not anything else.

”Your AC seems to be malfunctioning.”

Checking on it, Spinner notes he was right.

”Damn. I’m sorry. Guess gotta call someone to repair it tomorrow.”

”M’fine. Used to sleeping very little anyway.”

Huh, so maybe he was insomniac?

Spinner sits down next to him hesitantly, trying his best not to look while also kind of looking - again. What was with him lately anyway? He’d seen people half naked before during his schooldays in boys’ locker room, and on the beach and so on. Why did Tomura being like that bother him so much?

”Heh. Spooky folklore and urban legends reruns during the night? Guess it makes sense, fits with the dark atmosphere.”

Spinner looks up at the TV screen, quickly realizing what Tomura meant. There was a show he’d seen before, talking about urban legends across the country. This episode was one he hadn’t seen before, revolving around ancient ninjas or something.

”Well would ya look at that? What a coincidence.”

Tomura muses out and Spinner looks at him confused, before looking back at the TV. The episode legend was talking about some sort of group of supposed near mythical ninjas of assassins or something. Wait weren’t those kinda the same thing?

”What’s this legend about? Never heard of it.”

”It’s called the Yokai King. A master assassin of legendary skill that people to this day debate whenever he existed. According to the legend all the assassins under his command were some form of yokai, from bakenekos to kitsunes, and even a jorogumo.”

”W-what? Really?”

Tomura shrugs, cracking his neck slightly.

”From what I understand - and what the show is talking about right now - it is suspected the ”yokai’ were just humans who used a name of a creature to describe them. There are some rumors that these people might’ve had special kind of mutations that give no outward changes but ’internal’ abilities that cannot be seen.”

”Huh...that’s...kinda cool? I mean as a legend, the assassin part is a bit...”

”To be fair, the legend states the Yokai king only sends his ilk against those he deems unworthy of life. In most stories the victims of his children - as these underlings are called, though how many of them actually are his kids is a debated matter - have been criminals of worst kind. Child abusers, rapists, serial killers, stuff like that. Rich Tax frauders.”

”.....what?”

Tomura turns to look at him with a smirk. That smile was giving him a weird funny feeling, but Spinner was too focused in on the story to care about it.

”There’s more modern versions of the tale about his ’children’ going after rich landlords who abuse their wealth.”

”So they just...”

Spinner makes a slitting motion across his throat, gaining a slight shake of head from Tomura.

”Not always. The ’death’ dished out isn’t always physical. Sometimes it can be mental, social, or financial kind. Tax frauders end up dirt poor, prideful child abuser holding up appearances gets shunned away from their community, etc. To some people there are fates worse than simple death.”

”O-oh...”

”Yeah. I think in a lot of tales the King typically has four assassins; one for each type of ’death.”

Tomura holds up his finger now, smirking amused at how closely he was listening.

”First, is the ’financial death’ often known with the nickname Tanuki. This one is typically the one in charge of dealing with unruly greedy people and leaders, making sure they lose all they hold dear - their finances and influence typically.”

”Why Tanuki?”

”There’s lotta stories about it. Some say the first holder of this title in the legend was an actual one, or had Tanuki-like tendencies with gambling, playing tricks on people and such.”

Tomura shrugs, glancing at the TV briefly. The program was currently discussing this same topic, but Spinner found himself more interested in hearing Tomura tell it, as he seemed to have knowledge of the legend.

”Second is usually either known as the Jorogumo or Snow woman. As you can guess this ’child’ is typically a woman in these legends, often linked to the more psychological death - though arguably they also often literally kill their prey. She is often depicted as stalking their victim for a while, keeping an eye on them and causing psychological turmoil. Other times she’s said to even lure the victims into a trap, until it is too late.”

”...Kind of clicheed in a way, that the woman does that.”

”That’s how these old folk tales are. Didn’t make ’em. Plus there have been some stories from what I remember that dispute whenever this ’child’ was always a woman.”

Tomura shrugs and cracks his neck, now holding up a third finger. His red eyes looked almost like they were shining in the surrounding darkness, with the TV screen reflected on them. It was kind of eerie but also mesmerizing to look at.

”Third, the kitsune, is said to be the one for social deaths. This one will burn all the bridges around you, making you isolated for everything and everyone you had control over, before devouring you. In the same sense the kitsune also protects the victims from the person they punish.”

”And...the...last one?”

Tomura holds up a fourth finger now, the light from TV dimming down as the screen switched to a darker scene.

”The Shinigami. The ultimate death. This one’s often said to be the yokai king’s strongest child, for they represent an absolute death. No mercy, no second chances. If this child goes after you, you are a goner.”

Tomura drops his hand slowly, and Spinner swallows down hard, frozen in place. He stares at the pale face for a long moment, up until Tomura closes his eyes suddenly, starting to snicker. It eventually grows into a full blown laughter, making Spinner blush and frown, asking what was so funny.

”Your face! You’re real freaked out.”

Shigaraki laughs and tries to get his breath back under control, wheezing almost.

”It’s a folktale Spinner, a legend. Not real. Relax.”

”Can you blame me for getting spooked? It’s dark and you’re really good at storytelling stuff like this apparently!”

#spinaraki #fic sneak peek #this scene is Tomura lowkey telling Spinner exactly what he is #but Spinner doesn’t realize it lmao #you’ll understand once I finish this thing #shigaraki tomura #bnha tomura #spinner x shigaraki #bnha spinner

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naminethewitch · 4 years ago

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Animaniacs: My thoughts

According to this post, it seems that at least one person (hi @pink-aquaqualle) is interested in my ramblings, here are my thoughts on Animaniacs, both the original and the reboot.

But first I feel like I need to explain that I did not grow up watching - what I understand are - ‘classic 90s cartoons’. I was born in 1997, so by the time I consciously watched TV and cartoons, that era was over. Plus, and I don’t know if that’s related, I’m not a big fan of slapstick comedy. I remember watching Tom and Jerry every once in a while but it wasn’t something I would be actively trying to seek out (like looking up it’s runtime and such, you know what I mean). It’s a personal preference ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Now back to the actual topic: Animaniacs.

I had not seen the show before. I’ve heard of the series before the reboot, only tidbits and some scenes (Yakko’s World, for example). Same with Pinky and the Brain. I did not know they came from one and the same show. So when I saw the trailer for the reboot, I thought: Oh cool, they’re rebooting both those shows? Maybe I should watch it and see if I like it and if I do, check out the originals.

So when I had some time this week (*cough* procrastinated *cough*), I sat down to watch the reboot. And wow, did I not expect the format. Don’t get me wrong, I liked the show. Yakko, Wakko and Dot are great characters, they’re funny, self aware and I love their dynamic. Pinky and the Brain however, I didn’t like as much, mainly because it felt like their segment got more screentime than the actual Warner siblings.

But regardless, I enjoyed the show very much. The siblings energy was great, the social commentary was on point and the songs are bobs. Still I knew I was missing quite a few references (e.g. the whole ending to the Chicken Boo sketch) and I got curious about the original series. Then I found out it was only 99 episodes and thought: Why not?

And I must say: I’m glad they made some changes.

First off: I still liked the Warners. At their core they’re still the same (energetic, witty and lovable) but I’m glad they changed a few habits, mainly the whole ‘Hello Nurse’ thing (I get why it’s a catchphrase but they’re kids, c’mon) and the repeated non-consensual kissing (again, they’re kids! They shouldn’t kiss anybody on the mouth!). I’m glad that they get along most of the time but are also shown to fight sometimes, like how siblings actually are.

Second: I appreciate Pinky and the Brain way more now, mainly because I didn’t like most of the other supporting cast.

As I already mentioned, I’m not a big fan of slapstick, at least not in a prolonged format. I don’t mind it as much as a short joke or if the one on the receiving end is an asshole but it made it hard to enjoy segments about Slappy Squirrel for example. I ended up skipping most of the sketches focused on side characters and here’s why:

Slappy Squirrel: Already said it, too much slapstick, it’s basically all she does most of the time. Plus I just didn’t like her as a character much either.

The Goodfeathers: Clichee mafia parody with bad accents, annoying narration and Pesto’s anger issues were stupid, in my opinion.

Rita and Runt: One of the better ones, let them run most of the time because of the songs and because Runt is a sweetheart.

Buttons and Mindy: Again, basically only slapstick and Buttons doesn’t deserve any of it. He’s such a good dog and isn’t even rewarded for his trouble (except for in the movie). Always skipped it.

Katie Ka-Boom: Oh, Teenage girls in puberty are angry all the time without good reason! Isn’t that funny??? Clichee jokes and unnecessary violence, didn’t watch it once.

Chicken Boo: Honestly I didn’t disliked him as much as the fans seem to do (according to the reboot sketch). His segments were at least short and I like his jingle.

Hip Hippos: Annoying rich people are not entertaining to me. Plus that safari lady was just stupid.

Pinky and the Brain were really the most entertaining of the bunch but I still feel like they were too heavily featured in the reboot (the episode where they don’t have a sketch is my favourite).

What I actually kinda missed in the reboot were those little in between scenes from the original like Good Idea Bad Idea or that boy with the stories. There were others that weren’t as great (Dot’s Poetry Corner (though that was mainly because I felt like the intro and outro were too long)) but I don’t know, I just liked them.

Now the ‘story characters’ were better used in the original than in the reboot. Especially since the ‘story’ doesn’t really matter all that much in the 2020 version, the whole escaping and getting caught doesn’t really come up except for maybe one or two moments.

Dr. Otto Scratchansniff is a good character, I think for most of the time. I feel like he should be better at his job, but otherwise entertaining enough that I didn’t mind his return.

Hello Nurse I’m a bit more on the fence about. At the beginning she didn’t really seem to have much character other than being hot and there for men (especially Yakko and Wakko (again they are kids!)) to lust over. And her smart characteristics were tagged on later and inorganically. I mean I liked the song the Wakko sang about her, showing off her intelligence over all, but at the end he basically says some of that stuff isn’t actually true and honestly I doubt a woman with 5 PhDs would work as a nurse for a psychiatrist. Why does he even need a nurse? The psychiatrists I’ve been to didn’t even have receptionists and she hardly does any nursing anyway! The only time I can remember where she actually acts smart is at the end of the movie. That’s it. She just felt unnecessary to me, especially at the beginning and I’m kinda glad she isn’t in the reboot so far.

Ralph is kinda cute. Don’t have much of an opinion on him. He does his job, has a nice family. The token stupid guy but still lovable.

Mr Plotz is meh. I get why he’s like that and what they wanted to achieve with his character but don’t miss him. Mrs Norita is kinda cool but not featured enough for me to really like or dislike her.

The movie I liked quite a lot, actually. I probably won’t ever feel compelled to rewatch the original series except for some segments but I could see myself watching the movie again. The story was nice, the songs were great and I think they used all the characters effectively and in a way that they weren’t annoying to me. I hardly felt compelled to skip scenes focused on characters I usually didn’t enjoy so they did a good job there.

All in all I must say I liked the reboot way more than the original. It might just be that the original is a product of it’s time and a lot of the stuff and running gags haven’t aged well but it does show that the characters themselves still work mostly. I am looking forward to the second season and I probably will rewatch some sketches every once in a while.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. Feel free to ask for clarification if there’s something I didn’t explain well or left out!

#long post #animaniacs #animaniacs 1993 #animaniacs 2020 #wakko's wish #my ramblings #this took a long while to tipe out #I'm open for discussions!

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36incheshigh · 4 years ago

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haunting of bly manor on netflix review -

i tried not to put big spoilers in it. its about like.. a lady from america who becomes a live in nanny to two young siblings, in a big old mysterious? house in england.

overall - 8 /10 , maybe im just biased cause it had some of my fav parts of scary movies in it/personal fav parts of genres

[cons] -personally - i dont like when supposedly scary movies are about ppl dying sadly/theres characters who are actually nice who you actually get attached to and thenn, they suffer! (although technically i guesss that is what causes “haunting”, in its title. its like, im looking for a Scary which is secretly supposed to be found to be scary[-fun], not scary-Sad!. sad deaths/characters make me sad. like when cute kids in it are also sad and upset and they surely dont deserve it :p. bums me out. i guess i dont mind so much, if, -if youre gonna have to harm someone, that id rather theyre someone im not so attached to in the first place lols. id rather not feel sentimental whilee watching a movie thats also scary lols. too many feelings at once for me lols . also, i appreciate a movie tryingg to explain things well or make it interesting, but sometimes it cann get too complicated . thats where ya lose me. [thats kinda not that personal that can also be a critique in genderal.] its like if you keep it clear enough even if its simple, it could be a better story.

pros objectively - good characters, and gd chemistry between characters - they were all pretty distinct and interesting enough, had their own styles and mannerisms and personality. gd dialogue - relateable enough and realistic enough - heh ilke when the gardener tries to cheer the nanny up, that was like kind of a well thought out specific unique and still funny joke lols. or when the nanny uses her teacher-voice to say relateable things to the kids or to discipline them well and properly and fairly/justly and calmly - those were awesome and accurate like real life, very familiar in a specific, recognizable way. nicely done visually/cinematically - made everything look good, didnt make anything too confusing, clear enough. like it let us explore all the interesting places and no scenes were too dark to see whats going on or anything lols. which is good because sometimes a show takes place in what lookss like wouldd be an interesting setting, but we never really get to use the space much or see its details [well], or look at any of the cool parts about it, very well! plot was good - got stuck a couple times in a few ways, but atleast it did have good closure. thats hard to nail in spooky/scary stories. its also good that there was diversity representation in the characters’ races and kinds of romances so thats always important to diversify in the media so people arent ignorant and plus its less predictable and ^realistic.

cons objectively- really lost me in the episodes w hopping and flashbacks a lot, even though i guess it explained a few things. idk i think we couldve done without the entire dream bit cause it went over my head and i dont see thatt well how it fits with the rest of things very much anyway. i think it couldvee stuck with just the first owner’s story which seems to explain most of the mysteries anyway, and still be a great plot overall. also its not much of a big deal but in the end, that was supposed to be whats her name, the gardener but she wasnt even consistant in her style it was so out of character. like whats that hair style?? its too modern and boring/basic-betch , shes a chill, grounded, rough person so i think she shouldve kinda had a softer wavier hair style at least like she usually had . doesnt have to be the same, but atleast better match her character. i guess there were a few kind of minor plot pieces that i didnt hear/understand their explaination . but maybe if i thought about it more, or figure that those were just idk symbolic details or something lols, then id get it. -atleast the most important plot points have been explained. or if they kept the confusing plotline to help explain things, i wish they couldve made it a bit simpler to be more understandable . aint nobody tryina think that hard about it to understand things in a show ha . idk i think the wind up leading to the end , through the middle of the last episode when we werent sure if the girl was doomed yet or not [is that what it was that dragged on for me?] , dragged on a bit too somehow. or i wouldve been happy too if it ended like 10 minutes into the last episode when everything was at peace, even though thats too peaceful of an ending for a spooky story lols. also the bride in the beginning and ending who hears the story is a kind of bad actress or has awkward lines so it makes things corny lols. which its hard to not cross that line in spooky stories, from believeable and relateable and genuine enoughh to spook ya cause its barely believeable/relateable, - into corny.

pros personally- love big old gothic houses, theyve got character. love love stories, and mixing genres in a show or movie! like love, sad, and spooky. love it being more spooky and a thinker kinda rather than gory which could always be too easy of a scare. and lots of botony heh [in the romance] which i always love. in real life heh. i also dont really like body horror lols even though it couldve been worse here i guess. i know its supposed to be like, symbolic though :p. i like how - there wass a specific message/themes they were trying to be about in this show, but - idk, before we realizedd that, it was kind of amusing how the random suspicious jumpscares/problems that happen aree kinda like, making you/trickingg you to thinkk, that the story could justt be any of the clichee scary stories - but thenn its a pleasant surprise that even though you thought it was gonna be a cliche predictable plot, its actually much more elaborate in a good way lols. i also like “”gothic”“ and kinda spooky but not likeee verY scarY ha. cause gothic is likee, a lookk/mood!!

so yeah, i liked this in general, and would recommend it in general and might watch most of it again in halloween season lols. i like it because its sophisticated and relateable enough, graceful, cute enough - balanced so its not tooo much of anythingg and just enoughh of different things that would make any show enjoyable enoughh, i thinkk . good in all the ways it matters, in all the important ways. generally doesnt get campy in the parts of the show where that would matter lols. i liked it better than the other series apparently also by this director or whatever, “haunting of hill house”. i think “bly manor” was better in nearly every way lols .

#reviews #tv #haunting of bly manor #on netflix #spooky #halloween season shows to watch possibly!

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littlepsychowonderland · 6 years ago

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Drawing closer ( a clichee)

“How?”

I shrug. Me and Baz both stare at the empty space my bed left behind. Because of some reason, I still don’t understand, my bed grew wings and flew away. It was 3 am, it was cold and I don’t have a bed anymore.

“You should go see Miss Possibelf.”, Baz says. We are both so confused and tired that he doesn’t even make fun of me.

“I doubt she is awake.” “Then wake her up.” I shake my head. “Don’t want to annoy her. I’ll just ask tomorrow.”

“And where will you sleep?” I shrug. “On the floor.”

“You don’t even have a pillow or blanket.”

I just shrug again.

“Well I am going back to sleep.” Baz climbs into his bed. I settle on the floor. It isn’t as uncomfortable as I though it would be, better then most beds I had to sleep in during the summer. But it is cold. I close my eyes. The faster I sleep the faster it is over.

“Come here.”

I open my eyes again and look in Baz direction. “What?”

“Come here. It’s making me uncomfortable just watching you suffer.” “Why are you watching me anyway?” Baz sighs, like I am asking the must insufferable questions. “You want to sleep in a bed or not?”

Even if Baz is evil and a git, I really am cold. So I crawl in the bed beside him. Anathema will protect me.

It is warm under the blankets, my body instantly relaxes. The beds in Watford are also really small. Baz is pressed against the wall and his shoulder is still touching mine. It isn’t as weird as I thought it would be. I am so used to Baz’ breathing pattern by now, it is kinda comforting, knowing he is there and not out there drinking blood.

“Your bed flew away?” Miss Possibelf looks at me, surprised. “Yes.”, I say

“I am sorry, the mage isn’t here right now. It will take me a while to organize you a new bed.”

“Can I sleep somewhere else?” “I am sorry, but our spare room is under water right now. It seems like you have to share a bed with Mr. Pitch.”

Sharing a bed with Baz is weird. During the day it is like always. He is insulting me, I try to stay calm. The sneers, the condescending looks, the arrogance, it is all the same. But at night, he lifts a corner of his blankets and lets me sleep right next to him.

He never complained about it, didn’t even ask if I asked for a spare bed. By now I a used to another body next to me, another heartbeat, black hair tickling my face and knees touching. Some days I wake up and we are pressed against each other. I stand up rather quickly.

I don’t think Baz would like it.

This is one of these days. The sun streams into our room, I wake up, finding myself in Baz’ arm, face pressed against his chest. Carefully I untangle myself from him, trying not to wake him. If he knew we cuddle during sleep he would probably kill me and then himself. And while I take a shower I notice that I never thought how I felt about the whole thing. Why didn’t it bother me? Waking up in Baz’ arms never seemed to bother me at all and even know I can feel myself wanting to finish my shower and lay back down into his arms. Something is wrong with me. Maybe this was Baz plan all along. Sending my bed flying so he could share a bed with me and confuse me totally. Sounds like him anyways.

“Snow, bloody hell, hurry up.” Baz bangs at the door and we are back to normal.

The school started hanging mistletoe around the school. Magickal ones. You can’t get away without a kiss. Luckily there was a big disaster last year, so they hang them in spots nobody really walks under. “It’s just to keep the tradition up.”, Penny says while we walk to Greek class. I am glad I don’t have to kiss anybody. It would only end awkward. I haven’t kissed anybody since agatha broke up with me.

I wander around the school. I was studying with Penny and I needed a break. So now I wander the empty halls. Through the big windows, I watch the Snow falling down, tumbling through the air. Everything is so peaceful.

“Ouch.” I bump into someone. “Watch were you are going.” Of course it is Baz. I just glare at him and want to go away, but I can’t. Confused and angry I look at him. “What have you done?”, I ask. Baz just shakes his head and points to the ceiling. I swallow and look at Baz. And for one second, a tiny moment he looks scared, but then it is gone.

“I guess we have to kiss.”, I say.

“I am not kissing you.”, he says.

“Well, what do you want to do? Stay here?” “Yes.”

I sigh. “Baz that is stupid.” “Kissing you is stupid.” It is the dumbest comeback Baz has ever made. I am a little bit impressed. While Baz tries a dozen spells to get us out, I sit down at the floor and lean against a wall. I am so tired, it has been such a long day. “Baz, just give up and kiss me.” I yawn. Baz looks at me in shock and the straightens up. “I guess there is no way out.” I curse myself. Because now we are standing in front of each other, close, I can feel his breath on my face and I stat to panic. Baz is about to kiss me. I am about to kiss him. Shouldn’t I be disgusted? Why am I not? Why am I exited?

Everything is confusing. Why is he so mean in the day, but so nice in the night? How is it that I am always the one to wake up to us cuddling? I am about to kiss Baz. I am about to kiss Baz. And I really want it.

“Hey Simon, calm down, you’re spilling.”

I open my eyes, that I had squeezed shut. Now I can feel my magick buzzing. “I am sorry.”, I say and try to calm down.

“Deep breath”, he says and takes my hand. His eyes are so soft, so pretty.

“I am sorry.”, I say again. “Nothing to be sorry for.”, he says and smiled. He fucking smiles. Baz never smiles at me. It is beautiful. So I kiss him. Because I really, really want to. I can feel him freeze for a second. Shit, I must have overwhelmed him.

But then he lets my hand go and pulls me closer. His lips are cold, soothing. I loose myself in him, in his lips, in this feeling. My hands wander up and I lay them on his neck, playing with his hair. It is smooth, more then I imagined.

Baz opens his mouth a little and I take the opportunity to deepen the kiss. I never want this to end, I just want to keep kissing Baz, have him near him, in my hands, under my fingers. Not an evil, vampire, but a boy in my arms.

We break apart. I am breathless, it’s embarrassing. He looks at me in awe, but he let’s me go. I don’t know what to say. What do you say in a situation like this?

Baz stops my train o thoughts. He just walks away. Shocked I stare at him, his back. Did I imagine the whole thing? The feelings?

I lean against the wall and slide down. My head buried in my hands, I begin to cry.

When I come into the room Baz is already in his bed. I think he is sleeping, but I am not sure. Quietly I dress down and climb into the bed next to him. It is different now. All I want is to be close to him. I haven’t really figured out what that means. But probably that I like Baz. It also means that I am not straight, but I don’t think about that right now. All I think about is how close Baz is and if I would reach out I could touch his face. I really want to.

“Baz?”, I ask quietly. His eyes open instantly. “What?”, he asks sharply. I think he is trying to stay cool, but I can hear his voice faltering a little bit.

“Are you angry at me? For kissing you?” He doesn’t answer. Maybe that is a good thing. “Can we do it again?”, I ask before I can think it through.

“Why?” Now his voice is soft, vulnerable.

“Because I liked it.”

“I can’t Snow.”

“You called me Simon before.”

He sighs. “Simon, you are an idiot.”

“For wanting to kiss you?”

“For not realizing how weird this all is. We are enemies, you are supposed to hate me.” “Why?”, I ask. Because I really don’t get it. I always accepted it. But I never really got it.

“Because… the war… and the mage and the whole debacle. Because of everything. You don’t even like me.”

Now I reach out and let my fingers wander over his cheeks. He doesn’t swat my hand away. That is a good sign.

“Who says I doesn’t?”

He laughs. “You can’t just decide that. Not after all this years I spent pining after you. You don’t get to just like me now.” He sounds hurt. I don’t want that. So I kiss him again. Soft, with all the feelings I have. Baz kisses back. I pull him closer and break the kiss. “Aren’t you happy? Don’t you want this?”, I ask. Because maybe he is scared of me. Maybe I am forcing him into something. I don’t want that. He sighs. “More then you know.”, he says and leans into me. I kiss his head. “Then take it.”, I say.

“What? This whole lovey-dovey couple thing? Are you my boyfriend now?”

I shrug. “I am not really good at it, but I would like to try. If you want that.”

“I’d love that.”

The next morning I don’t have to untangle myself, I can just keep laying in his arms. “Good morning, darling.”, I whisper into his hair. Baz is still sleeping, in my arms and I couldn’t be happier.

#coc 2018 #carry on countdown #a clichee #a cliche #snowbaz #snowbaz fic #sleeping in one bed #mistletoe kiss

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ellistruggle · 7 years ago

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The mysterious Sides of Amity

It was a rough day for Virgil. He just moved to Amity Park. The last few weeks were pretty stressful, to say at least. The packing, the driving, constantly thinking about the new town and how he would ruin his social reputation this time, were getting on his nerves.

His family moved around a lot. Virgil generally didn't mind. His social skills were not that great so he didn't have a hard time saying good bye to his schoolmates. They probably didn't even notice that he was gone. (Wow what a clichee)

This time it felt different though. This time the city they were going to was apparently the most haunted town in America. Virgil wouldn't say it out loud if you’d ask him, but he was honestly a little scared.

The first day he didn't leave the house, remaining quiet and peaceful in his room, thinking about his new school.

The second day he already had to go to said school and honestly, he found that quite rude. But Virgil accepted his fate and went to school, unmotivated and anxious as ever.

It looked like every normal high school you see in every movie. Boring and plain. Full of high school clichés and cliques. The jocks were present, the cheerleaders, the nerds, the band, all of them were here. Even the last bit of hope for a new school experience was gone now.

Sighing, Virgil made his way into Casper High.

As he opened the doors, a smiling figure almost bumped into Virgil, only to stop a second before a serious impact.

"Hi there! You must be Virgil! My name is Patton and I am here to welcome you into our nice little school!" The person began shaking Virgil’s hand and didn't stop for 6 seconds, making the situation very awkward.

Virgil, still shook about the incident, never saw anyone smiling as bright as this person. The person, apparently named Patton, was wearing a grey cardigan with a bright blue shirt underneath. Even though he also wore big glasses, they didn't distract from the big smile he still had. Virgil thought that absolutely nothing could distract from this smile. Patton began talking again

"Worry no more about a scary first school day because I am here to guide you around! I was new last year so I know how you feel. Believe me, I was very lost at the beginning. So I decided, if there is a new student coming here, I will personally ensure that this person will feel welcome and has a friend to come to right away!"

He spoke with such a speed, that Virgil believed he would suffocate any second now. And yet he was grateful to have someone as optimistic as Patton to guide him around. Normally he would find it incredibly awkward to be guided around by some student who just wants the extra credit for this job, but Patton seemed like he genuinely cared about the weird new guy on the block and that made Virgil feel a little more at ease.

They began to walk around school, every now and then Patton began to speak, telling him something interesting about Casper High, about the teachers that passed by or about Amity Park in general.

"Did you know that Amity is the most hunted town in America? I think that’s pretty cool!" Patton said after five minutes of walking through the school.

Virgil waited for that. He heard of it, sure, but hearing it from a person living in Amity? That made it even scarier. He couldn’t stop himself and he just had to ask.

"Haunted as in like, ghosts? Like… actual paranormal invisible ghosts? Isn't that kind of scary? How can you be so chill about it?" Virgil couldn’t hide the fear in his voice. He mentally slapped himself for sounding so scared right in front of the first person that was actually nice to him.

"The people here are used to ghosts I think.”, Patton began to explain, seemingly taking no notice of Virgil’s fear, “Of course it was scary at first but honestly you learn to deal with it. I mean, there are still people who don't get along with these creatures, but pretty much everyone in here doesn’t particularly care anymore when there's a ghost attack. Mostly due to Amity Parks own ghost fighting Hero Danny Phantom!"

Virgil stopped walking and just looked at Patton with wide eyes. Did Patton just really say that?

"Danny What now? Are you telling me, that you guys have, like a super hero kind of person who saves you from the ghosts? Sorry but that sounds almost as believable as a cartoon show for children". He just couldn’t hide the sarcasm in his voice.

Patton just smiled wider and continued explaining. "But it's true! He came around the same time the attacks started to happen frequently. Put the bad ghosts back where they came from. At first, he wasn't very popular but now the town people accepted him as their own hero! I think that’s pretty cool! I mean, which other town could say they have a real life super hero who protects them? One time, an evil ghost king tried to rule over the town but Phantom just defeted him! And saved us. I mean, how cool is that?" Patton ended with a look of admiration in his eyes.

Virgil was sure Patton was joking. I mean, he just couldn’t be serious. First the ghost attacks, then a real life super hero? Just the thought about it seemed so ridiculous that Virgil decided, he wouldn’t believe any of this until he sees it with his own eyes.

(okay so, i am so sorry.. i know this is badly written and barely readable. it is basically my first fanfiction - like writing thing and english is not my first language and i am so sorry if you are used to better stuff but thanks to @davidthetraveler ‘s ask to make a Danny Phantom / Sanders Sides Crossover i had to write this and i know its bad but i want to continue and i’m just gonna leave this here and i have a few ideas but actually no idea where this story would end if it ended sometime idk... i am sorry for wasting your time i will stop now,....)

#sanders sides #danny phantom #crossover #fic #virgil sanders #patton sanders #anxiety #morality #fanfiction #my writing #I NEVER WROTE ANYTHING I AM SO SORRY FOR WASTING YOUR TIME #UGH #I WILL PROBABLY DELETE THIS LATER

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gutsandslushies · 4 years ago

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So, The Cabin in the Woods

(Spoilers, obviously)

I once started watching that movie when i was like 14 but never finished it, I only got to the part where they summon the zombies. So now that I finished it I got a shit ton to say. First of all I loved the concept, and the first half of the movie was amazing. I loved that they took all those clichees and made fun of it but not in a obvious comedy kind of way like Scary Movie. I loved Marty in the beginning because he was the only one with braincells obviously but then in the end?? Weak ass mf. And also I hated what the concept turned into. I hoped that the big plot twist would be that this is actually how horror movies are made or something like that. The whole ancient god thing was meh. But what really irritated me was this entire facility where they kept these???things??? Like bro this isn‘t Men in black? Honestly that ruined the whole movie for me because that was just too much bullshit. I would have liked it more if they just kept all these artifacts in that basement and whatever unfortunate young adults will choose to summon, will be summoned. Not this whole „oh ok we‘re sending these out from our weird entity prison“.

So yeah I feel incredibly conflicted about this movie because I honestly thought it could become one of my favorites but the ending just fucked it up for me. But still props to the ones who came up with the whole thing because even though I didn‘t like it, it was really cool to see.

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noidsome · 7 years ago

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I really tried to like mei but I feel she could have been handled differently. Maybe a mini series without the originals and we could grow to like and know more about her but each movie now it's like the same thing. I tried really not to hate her now that I think about it I'm just more frustrated than angry. In all fairness she may or could be an amazing character but I feel it's just repetitive. I feel the others are just background characters at this point. I support and buy the tri stuff

i just feel bad that this new cool character with potential was just trown into the most TYPICAL clichee character tropes for mary sues. so many people get pissy when you call her that, but if they open their fucking eyes then they would see that the evidence is all there.

#kimmy4444

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deltaengineering · 8 years ago

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summer anime 2017 part 3: welcome to die