#it cant end if i keep restarting it

[shayberri789]

Everything is definitely circular and all but especially the raven cycle because I don't think I've ever reread a series as much as I have that one

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[fiendishartist2]

art youtubers are either the funniest ppl alive or theyre so horrifically annoying its a wonder they have anyone watching their videos at all. idk if maybe im just too picky about the videos i watch, but i hate those "i learned x skill in JUST 24 HOURS!!!!!!!" videos bc its like. so you tried it for the first time ???? you didnt learn that skill, you made a first attempt at it. i hate it bc it like sets a standard that ppl should be able to master a skill in a day or a week when actually you can keep trying a hobby for years and still learn new shit all the time. ive been sewing since i was like 13 and i STILL learn how to do new techniques and i still fuck up majorly!!!! bc you cant master smth in a few tries. thats not mastering, thats an attempt that looks good to the untrained eye

[olli-online]

.

[suck-mein-pokeballs]

Putting my job on the line yet again cause I'm a big ole softie and I will go out of my way to help you if I'm at all able to find any loopholes to do so

Had a client that did not have the appropriate documentation in hand for a process and when I told them they would need to try again once they had them and that they would be assisted by someone else they got distressed because they felt I was the only reasonable person they had been able to get and were really tired of dealing with people that wouldn't listen or wouldn't help so they didn't want to deal with anyone other than me

And I'm over here like, you know what? What the hell, because of the hour when they submitted their request I KNOW there are some loopholes I can exploit to get them the assistance they need and save them all the red tape, and having to start over, so why wouldn't I?

Just hope they don't get one of those random surveys and mention what I did for them cause they could get my ass fired lol

[the-kipsabian]

why is tumblr gaslighting me into thinking my gifs are too big lmao

[worldsokayestdragon]

Recently discovered my old gamecube still works and bought some Sonic games to play! now Sonic adventure 2 has allowed me to have the super cool and not at all infuriating experience of repeatedly loosing the first boss fight of a game made for children, which is so fun!

[friendlifyre]

today has been a shitty day at every turn and at every shitty turn ive been like (holding back tears) ok lets try to make the best of this shitty situation. one such attempt was moving furniture around my apartment ie finally setting up a desk in the living room so i can do stuff on a desk while watching streams/shows without hunching over the coffee table and that meant transferring the 1000pieces jigsaw puzzle from the coffee table to the desk by sliding it on and off a big piece of cardboard i held up with one hand. ofc at one point i twitched and the whole thing fell apart in my hands and after inspection theres pieces that completely disappeared in the incident. and thats a perfect representation of how every single one of my attempts to ‘make the best’ of the situation today went

[emmyrosee]

“Pssst…”

“Choke.”

“Wanna makeout?”

Instantly, as if on a cue, Hajime’s face blisters into a flush, eyes widening and brows angry as he whips his head to face you.

You’re smiling, and he hates it, and you’re wearing his shirt that completely drowns your frame, hands and knees on the mattress just inches away, and he’s convinced he could live an extra 15 years if you hadn’t stumbled into his life.

But you did stumble into his life. Yay him.

His pencil taps rapidly against his desk, his studying having been completely hijacked by your straightforward flirts. Inviting you to do homework with him never really ended well, and how he hasn’t learned this lesson yet, is a mystery to you both.

“I’m busy.”

You huff and shift to sit on the bed as the gods intended, “you can take three minutes to makeout with me.”

“When was the last time we made out less than ten minutes?” He asks, and he wishes he hadn’t by the way your cocky grin splays over your face.

“Cant help that you’re into me,” you croon. He groans as he tosses his hand up to his face, scrubbing gently to revitalize himself. He’s quickly snapped out of it when he feels your feet wrap around the base of his desk chair and pull him closer to the bed.

This, has him chuckling from disbelief, moving his hands from his face and letting his eyes flick towards your feet. “Be so for real right now,” he says, snickering.

You bite your tongue between your teeth, but before you can do anything else, you scream as he makes a dash at you, barely letting you kick in defense before he pins you down to the bed, his broad chest doing most of the caging while his fingers spider up your sides and his lips sponge kisses on your neck and ears.

“You’re so annoying,” he growls, the vibrations of the rasp tickling your neck. His fingers still and instantly, your arms shift to toss around his neck, looking up at him longingly.

You lift a hand up to card his hair away from his face, “hi.”

“Hey baby.”

With that, he leans down to kiss you, knee planting on the bed to keep him stable and allow him to deepen the kiss. You mewl happily, letting your fingers push his head impossibly closer to you.

You taste sweet, like the bowl of fruit you’ve been stealing from him for the past hour, and you’re so warm from being swaddled in his blankets that he feels calm just by being close to you.

Then again, you always have that affect on him.

With a slight bite of your lips, he slowly starts to pull back, planting little pecks to soothe the bites. You giggle happily and reach up eagerly for each one.

“Haji?”

“What?”

Biting your lip cheekily, he hardens his gaze and reinforces his grip slightly, ready to restart a tickle attack if needed.

“Got you to makeout with me.”

You smirk and lick his nose with the tip of your tongue, making him reel back slightly with a scrunch of his face. He looks at you blankly, while you laugh and play with the locks of hair at the nape of his neck.

“How do you always manage to get your damn way?” He mumbles, leaning down to press another kiss on your lips. Under him, you giggle and chase his lips, clearly eager that now you’ve gotten him to kiss you once, he’s keen to give you more.

Like he always does.

Like he always will.

“Cant help that you’re into me.”

“I really am. Asshole.”

“I love you, too.”

[psychiclounge]

it went really fucking bad

[the-snowfall]

a lot of people really hyped up how hard v2 is to fight, so I was really excited cause!! thats my boy!!!!!!

I fucking detonated him first try in both instances are you kidding me💔

anyway my point is im going to quit standard and replay everything on violent now

[swee7dream]

hi very late but may I request a cute cg!jaehyun taking care of a VERY fussy little!reader hehehehehhehehehehheheh cant wait to see what u write :)) (saying this bc I was very late but I saw you saying like a week or 2 after u saying u wanted to write jaehyun fics..)

no ! ( but okay ) caregiver ! jeong yoonoh x age regressor ! reader

genres age regression content , fluff warnings reader has hair long enough to put behind the ears dni nsfw / kink author's note FAV MOOT . i will go to war for you . as someone who is extremely fussy when small , you and i are cut from the same cloth . hope u like it ! tag list restarting ! lmk if you would like to be added .

“No, no, no…”

“Come on, Honey.”

“Not finish yet.” You ignore Jaehyun’s gentle hand pushing the hair behind your ear, scribbling your crayon furiously to the paper on the floor like a painter struck with genius inspiration.

“Can we finish this later? Tomorrow, maybe?”

“No, no, no, no, no…”

Jaehyun’s eyes flutter shut. You’ve entered your ‘no’ phase all of a sudden and it has been carving at his patience. It’s not that he never wants you to say no, but when it comes to eating your lunch or cleaning up your toys or changing out of your outside clothes for comfy, clean inside clothes, he can’t deny it’s frustrating. He just wants the best for his baby, why can’t you see that?

“Baby.” He looks down at the phone in your other hand, currently shining a terrifying (in Jaehyun’s opinion) four-finned shark-dinosaur-thing. Papers surround your curled-up ball self on the floor, each one detailing a different kind of dinosaur. “The dinos need to sleep too, baby. We need to start getting ready now so you don’t forget to brush your teeth ‘cause you’re just so sleepy.”

“Nuh-uh. Dinos can’t sleep. They’re dead.”

His shoulders slump in his crisscrossed sitting position in front of you. It’s difficult to keep up with the canonical and non-canonical existences of your baby world.

“Okay… maybe. But when they were alive, they had to sleep.”

“…maybe.” You throw him a bone! Finally, it only took an hour.

“Yeah?” He places a hand over the screen. “There are those pretty eyes. Hi Honey.”

“Hi, Hyunnie.” You frown. “Hyunnie let go.”

“The phone told me he’s very tired and would like to go to bed now. Sorry, baby.”

“Not true, phones don’t talk.”

“Mine does.” He gives you a look that says ‘so embarrassing for you…’

You squint at him, unamused.

“Hyunnie let go.”

“Sorry, sweetheart. My hand fell asleep. Right here.” He shines his dimples at you innocently.

“Let go!” Your blue crayon is left forgotten to roll under the couch as you pull and pull on Jaehyun’s arm.

“No!” He sings, finally taking matters into his own hands, quite literally, by pulling you onto his lap. “Bed time. Bed time for my baby.”

He rocks you side to side, cheek resting on the top of your head as he confines you in between his arms.

“No!” You squirm around but to no avail. “No bedtime. No tired!”

“Mmm, yes!” You feel his lips press to your head. “Bedtime, bedtime. Time for jammies and teeth brushing and stories. Doesn’t that sound fun, baby?”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No-o-o-o-o-o!” Your voice shakes as Jaehyun’s soft rocking turns more into a shake one would give only to a potato sack.

“Ye-e-e-e-e-es!” He smiles down at you as he finishes his best imitation of your little tantrum.

“No.” You frown up at him, but his eyes catch the quirks at the end of your lips that you fail to push down.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes!” He attacks your cheek with a kiss, littering your face with them as he continues. “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”

“But why?” You give in, allowing yourself to go limp in Jaehyun’s hold.

“Because,” He mocks your whiny tone. “It’s late. It’s late and you get really mean when you don’t sleep enough.”

“That’s not true!”

“Hey.” He pinches your nose. “Why are you fighting me so much lately? It absolutely is true and you know it. Do you want Hyunnie to be all sad and weepy tomorrow? I’ll cry. You know I will. Wanna see? W-”

“No!” You giggle, putting both your hands up to cover his face. “Don’t wanna see Hyunnie sad. But am just no tired, Hyunnie.”

Another kiss to your palms lets Jaehyun see your face again.

“But I am. Can’t you just get ready for bed with me? It’s so scary to be alone.” He pulls you into his chest, squeezing but never too tight. “So scary! I need my Honey to help me!”

“Not scary, Hyunnie.” You giggle. “But okay. Honey help!”

“Really?” He pulls you away to meet your eyes and bumps your foreheads together. “Really really? For reals? How many reals are you talking?”

“All the reals!” You beam.

“Oh, thank you, baby. You sure are doing Hyunnie a solid.”

—

You didn’t realize how cold you were until you put your pajamas on, soft and warm, still smelling of laundry detergent. It’s like wearing a blanket and you rub the fabric against your arms to warm yourself up some more.

Your socks slide against the wooden floor as you hear Jaehyun take his turn to brush his teeth in the bathroom. You left a total mess! Your artwork is all over the floor, what if you lost one?

Not feeling like wanting to clean up at the moment, you put your crayon box on the coffee table to put it in its proper place tomorrow.

Wait.

You’re missing one!

Where did it go?

You hum to yourself as you gather all your drawings in a neat pile, making a mental note to yourself to date them all in the morning. You search under the table and behind pillows and blankets. Where is your green crayon?

“Ah-hah!” Jaehyun spots you back in the living room, face to the floor.

“Baby, what are you doing?”

“Found my crayon, Hyunnie. Thought I lost it.” You lift yourself up, pulling your hand out from under the couch to show it to Jaehyun proudly.

“I’m glad you didn’t lose it, Honey.” He smiles. “But you didn’t have to get on the floor for that. You’re gonna get your jammies dirty.”

“’s okay! Needed my crayon.” You kneel over to slide the crayon back amongst its brethren in the paper box.

“Don’t you have a lot of other ones?” He helps you up by the hand.

“Not the same. Different shade o’ green.”

“Mmm, makes sense.” Jaehyun notices the pile of paper on your arm. “You’re taking your drawings to bed?”

“Yeah. Not tired so Honey’s gonna do storytime today.”

“Oh, really? Thank you, baby. You’re gonna teach me about dinosaurs?”

“Yeah.” You flop onto the bed. “Dinosaurs are super cool.”

“But aren’t they scary?” Jaehyun flicks off the light in the middle of the ceiling, warm soft light from your nightstands keeping the room from complete darkness.

“No. ‘cause they’re dead,” You explain simply.

“..right. I forgot that for a second.” He lifts the covers and slides inside the bed, shivering at the still-cold sheets. “Your drawings are just so good, baby, I thought they were pictures.”

“I get that a lot,” You say, rubbing your head against his arm. “You ready?”

“Ready Freddy.”

“Who’s Freddy?”

“I don’t know.” Jaehyun pauses to think. “Someone who’s ready, I guess. Go on, baby. Show me your dinos.”

“Okay!” You go through your pile of drawings and end up deciding on your most recent creation. “This one’s not finished, but it’s called a Liopleurodon. It existed in the Jurassic period. It was an apex predator—that means that no one could fight it and win! It just went chomp chomp and everybody died.”

“Oh, I see. It’s kind of like you, in a way.”

“What?!”

author's note ( pt 2 ) sorry for taking so long ! i have no excuse , just trying to deny the reality of valentine boy being gone . haven't been keeping up w nct lately bc of irl stuff + the boycott so if anyone has a google drive or anything like that for sm artists , pls lmk ! and as always , comments and constructive criticism are accepted and encouraged . just be nice or i will be finding your loved ones ' contact information and telling them you're CYBER BULLYING . hope everyone is having a good day and if not i hope it gets better !!

[nyancrimew]

fucked up sorta intoxicated long vent

cw: uuh mental health, drugs, suicide mentions, very much is just an existential crisis put into post form

this is not a suicide note or anything, im about to go cuddle up with my wife and go to sleep i just had to get my fucked up thoughts out, i might delete this tomorrow

meaning

it's so hard to find meaning in life anymore. i live for those around me, for those i love, those who love me back. yet i keep hurting them, everything keeps falling apart. i live out of spite, i cant let authority win. yet im slowly giving up my cause. i live to prove a point. ive long forgotten what point it even is anymore.

there hasnt really been any new compelling reason to keep going in over 10 years now. i honestly wonder how much it even really takes anymore to drive me to suicide. it can't be that much, im already always living on edge.

i just barely know who i even am anymore, ive largely forgotten the first 20 years of my life, and the last 3 are mostly just fog as well. forced to live in the moment, carrying all the baggage of all the previous moments i dont even have memories of anymore.

how are people just like able to keep living, regularly finding joy. how are people able to deal with bad times without immediately pondering all the ways in which they could kill themselves in?

god i need therapy so fucking bad. i keep dragging down everyone around me. how can i fix all the damage ive done, a sorry won't do. how can i fix all the damage done to me, no sorry will ever do.

why are the only options to just keep going, ignoring all the pain, or ending it all forever. where is the restart button, where can i reset, rewind, apply what ive learned to the situations where i fucked up. how do i go back and undo all the trauma. the trauma i experienced myself and the trauma i put on others.

we're all just lost children in a world not made for us. where is our world. where is the place in which we can find solace. your arms make me feel safe, and at home. but i know you feel the same way i do.

it pains me to know we're in this together, god if only i could bear your pain, if only i could bear everyone elses pain. it hurts me to know you feel this way too. no one should have to know how this feels. i wanna take on all the pain in this world so i can leave and turn the world around.

am i just failing at being a part of this society or is society failing me. i am like one bureaucratic fuck up away from dying alone on the street with no roof over my head. i cannot be self dependent, why does this society fully expect such a thing of me.

is this all worth it for the few moments of bliss, for sparing the people around me from the pain of losing me. would the pain of losing me be greater than the pain i cause every day?

i am lost. i dont know anymore. fuck i need therapy. or just anything that can fix me. the drugs certainly haven't yet, but at least i also have dependency to fight with now i guess.

yea fuck man idk

[dullgecko]

i need to talk about this fig headcanon of mine and i cant edit the fic im writing about for like two days so

hear me out. fig knows several very traditional elven dances

i see elven couple dances as ballroom style dances, like a waltz or a slow dance, just endlessly more complicated. obviously theres still the dance style fabian does, which is either a singular person dance or multiple people dancing at the same time but separately, but i think fig knows specifically two person dances and is pretty good at them

so fig in freshman year is all. oh no, prom is coming up? but i cant dance?? and obviously logically nobody will be any good but shes still stressed about it so gilear teaches her one of the simplest elven dances he knows (incredibly complicated but at least hes a good teacher)

and obviously fig cant use that knowledge at prom because *dragon*, but i do think she learns more just from dancing with gilear all the time because she thinks its fun, and i also think adaine knows the same dances so they 100% will dance together

i dont see kristen or gorgug as being able to really do them(on account of either low dex or just the dances inherently not being made for a half-orc body type), and i dont think riz would want to either, but i think adaine does know them and has fun doing them with fig

fabian and fig dont dance until sophomore year spring break passes because he did *know* the dances, from being made to take classes, but he and fig both absolutely refused to be the following role until after spring break

but once fabian is willing to let fig lead (toxic masculinity is dead after all) they also dance! they have lots of fun i think

anyways thats my fig dancing headcanon, i just love the idea of her being taught by gilear and then using it as a way to stay connected to her elven roots. she is still half elf, after all, and so are 2/4 of her parents !

Fabian starts taking his bard classes in junior year and he is crushing it. They're learning all sorts of dances from all over Spyre, including elven ballroom dances, so he has the music in his playlists so he can practice at home. He needs to get both roles of this dance memorised as part of a graded assignment so he organises a study/hang-out session with his friends while he works on it solo.

Its not quite the same as practising with a partner and its complicated so he keeps messing up and tries to goad some of his friends into helping.

Riz is the first person he asks, the goblin is already there before everyone else because he's burning himself out trying to help everyone study while also doing his own homework, but he categorically refuses to dance and argues the height difference would make it weird. It's an elven dance, elves tend to be over 3 feet tall. He has memorised the steps though and helps Fabian with his footwork from the sidelines whenever he catches him messing up, even if he refuses to do the dance properly. Fabian, for a moment, thinks of getting Ayda or Adaine to cast enlarge on the goblin so they'd be the same height for a while but immediatly stomps on that idea because no, it would be weird if Riz was tall. Better to ask one of his other friends instead.

Gorgug offers to help when he arrives for their hangout session but he's not good at dancing at all. He's strong, and he's an athlete, but he has two left feet and his movements are too slow to keep up with the fast-paced footwork. He ends up stepping on Fabians feet so many times that they decide its better not to practice together otherwise they're GOING to have to get Kristen or Fig to heal the half-elf when they arrive. Gorgug takes over manning the music, restarting or rewinding it whenever Fabian asks him to, so that Riz can go back to doing his homework without having to break his concentration every three seconds.

Kristen arrives next, plopping herself down on the ground next to Riz and his impressive spread of papers and notebooks and settles in to watch. Fabian does not ask her to dance with him and she doesnt offer, they both know that if she tries someone WILL break something. Her dexterity score is bad enough that she'd probably even manage to injure either Gorgug or Riz in the crossfire and there are a lot of mirrors to break in Fabians studio. She is pretty strict about making sure Fabian stops every ten minutes or so to drink some water and even forces him to take a proper break and have a snack when he starts looking a bit woozy from low blood-sugar.

By the time Fabian is feeling better Adaine has arrived, the elf plopping down with Riz and pulling out her own homework to get his help with something. Adaine watching Fabian from the sidelines for a few minutes while Riz reads over her notes before mentioning that she knows this dance. Her homework immediatly gets abandoned as Fabian drags her to her feet and gets her to go through the dance a few times with him before she has to stop from exhaustion. She does not have the same level of stamina as their fighter who can literally dance for an entire day before getting tired. Fabian is grateful for the help though because now he has at least got the lead roll memorised. He still has to perfect the following role before his next class but Adaine cant help with that, her parents only ever let her learn the following role so she wouldnt be able to help him as lead.

Fig is, predictably, fashionably late to their hang-out/study session. She doesnt go to any of her bard classes so there's no homework there, and Porters barbarian classes don't really assign homework so she doesnt have any book-work to do so it doesnt matter. Fabian doesnt have to ask her to help him with his footwork, because the instant she clocks what he's working on she dumps her bags and jacket and sweeps in to wheel him around the room as the lead in their dance. She has been waiting for an oportunity to show this off and she takes to it with gusto. She is a bard afterall, and even if her speciality isnt dancing her performance is immaculate due to all of her practice with Gilear.

Fabian, of course, gets an A+.

[scrunckled-idiot]

(chat please it took me so long to figure this out)

So uhhg ughm uh-

I got the idea of A survival tf2 horror game based off this post by @the-sound-of-progress (bbg please you haven’t posed in 8 months ☹)

Like my brain is fucked so I like um i- ghuh just hear my idea out please chat-

So the premise of the game is to steal a randomised amount of randomised weapons (min 10 to 15) scattered around the battlefield in 25 or something minuets while giant medic stalks around. Like the game description would be something like:

“what was going to be just a quick and easy heist of stealing some valuable weapons from that freaky base near your town, turns into a deadly game of cat and mouse. as the bases medic has found an interesting way to defend the base at night. Stay out of sight and evade his clutches as you navigate the abandoned battlefield, collect all weapons, and escape back to your vehicle.”

Or something. Like I kept thinking of game mechanics, unique death animations, and achievements for it to. Damn fucking autism. Like firstly how medic would function based on the images.

Medics mechanics and how to counter them:

medic is giant, which means he’ll be slow, right? Makes sense so you could probably outrun him… as long as your sprint meter doesn’t run out. (refillable with MRE packs). In that case, try and take cover in the nearest building.

You’re still not safe yet if you hide in a building. Either medic will wait until you come out (random chance that he will or not), which you can tell he is or not by listening for his breathing or watching for his shadow. Or he’ll try to reach his hand inside and grab you, counter this by pressing against the wall next to the opening.

If you’re atop of a building, he will try to swipe at you or use his bone saw to slash over the roof. Just go further to the middle of the roof to avoid them or just duck.

If he does manage to grab you, time will slow down and you will have a 5 second window to mash the jump button to “wiggle free” or something.

you can bait him to go somewhere else by using walkie talkies. can only use this trick a minimum amount of times before he learns ts a trick.

tid-bits:

At the end of the game it will tell you the total cost of the weapons you stole was, how long it took you, how many MRE packs you ate, and other cool stuff perhaps.

He will hide behind corners of buildings and jump out at you. No counter to this, just a cool jumpscare while he laughs like a fucking madman.

Some Cool and unique death scenes when you’re caught. depending on range:

Long range: shooting a big-ass needle at you from his crossbow, throwing a boulder at you.

Close range: stomped to death, crushed to death, eaten, getting picked up and thunder-cunted into the stratosphere like a baseball, sliced by his bone saw, getting carried away in a comically sized jar.

Player will restart in the spawn rooms or back at the gate if they die.

You’ll know he’s near when the ground starts quaking.

ending cutscene will either have you successfully drive away after stealing the required amount of weapons, or have medic stomp your car while you try to escape if you don't steal the required amounts of weapons. or a secret ending where he follows you home and kills you since you've seen too much (canon ending). not sure what triggers the endings yet.

THERE IS A TIME LIMIT SO YOU CANT CAMP IT OUT PUSSY!!!

Achievements (shitty names tbh someone come up with something better ong):

An apple a day, keeps the doctor away- don’t die once during the whole run

monk diet- don’t eat a single MRE pack during the whole run.

Wiggly woo- escape medics grasp every time you’re caught.

by the skin of your teeth- escape with the good ending.

midnight snack- get the bad ending

you didn't see anything- get the secret ending

Uhhhh… some other ones I cant think of yet. sorry :(

I wanted to do voice lines as well but I couldn’t do it, felt cringe. He’d mostly just use voice lines from the game anyway. Typical laughter and taunts. And Probably some cool things that im not creative enough to think about. Maybe deaths will also have a zestier variant just to awaken something in someone. But ye, just something I came up with within the span of a day. Now wanting this to be real and not fiction :( maybe some kids doing game design in my collage will bring my idea to life? Idk man no promises.

Thank you for listening to me autistically ramble about my tf2 g/t horror game pitch. that is all.

Well, off to hang myself! Watch and lear-

*gak*

[empty-dream]

Just played To The Moon Beach Episode

Just kidding it's been almost one month since I played and I'm NOT over it.

Chronologically taking place sometime after the end of Impostor Factory, specifically after the Bestest Dancers comic.

Happy note first, I LOVE the surfing minigame. I played with all 4 characters just so I could get all the winner banners lmao.

Also the conversations, when funny, are funny as fuck, classic Freedbird Games.

My favorites were the night pool scene and the basement scene. I LOST MY SHIT lmaooo.

The beach memories with messages from players is so cool and heartwarming. Is there any way I can put my message there too? I'd probably write an essay inside tho.

Kan (and I assume his wife and son?) makes an appearance is so cute.

On the other hand, it is indeed the most depressing beach episode.

Or rather, the first half was wacky as shit with just a sliver of hints, and then BOOM DEPRESSION.

The aforementioned night pool scene? When I picked "says nothing" I laughed my ass off. Then I restarted the game at that point and picked "show approval" thinking that it would lead to another hilarious exchange. It slapped me with realistic truth and sad what-ifs instead.

I knew it'd be sad like there are hints but DAMN I DIDN'T EXPECT FREEBIRD GAMES TO ACTUALLY GO DOWN THIS ROUTE I REALLY THOUGHT THEY WOULDN'T, I JUST DIDNT EXPECT IT WOULD COME LIKE RIGHT NOW 😭

Kan Gao made To the Moon when he was mulling over mortality since his grandpa had life-threatening illness, and since then it has always been about grief and questions revolving death and life.

And I personally feel like the Beach Episode is the peak of everything the series is about: Grief, regret, what-if, the parameter of "a great life."

After following the series for around a decade, it just hits so hard I still don't even know what to say.

SPOILER BELOW

ROSAWATTS CANON BUT AT WHAT COST

"I wanted to build you a garden." "You didn't give me enough time to prepare." WHAT THE FUCK BRO YOU CANT JUST DO THIS TO ME TT O TT

You know, when you think about it, what happened to Neil and Eva is exactly the opposite of Quincy and Lynri.

The only reason why Neil never confesses to Eva, despite loving her since teenager, was because he knew the pain of losing a loved one like how his father Quincy lost his mother Lynri, and Neil didn't want that to happen to Eva.

And it was all for nothing. Eva still ends up doing exactly what Neil fears, and WORSE.

Not only she suffers watching him die and losing him in the end, she keeps reliving all their days together. Since the very first game in fact. It's the only explanation why there was pain signal even in real life back in the first game and why the Minisode had Eva in her room.

It begs the question, would it have been better if he admitted his condition and feelings for Eva sooner? If instead of fearing what would happen in the end, Neil opened up earlier, like how Lynri did to Quincy? If Neil and Eva had more time, if Eva had more time to prepare, if they had more time to be together in the way that they've always wanted, if they had more time to make peace with the knowledge of what would come together, would it be any better?

I personally don't know the answer to that. At first glance, I thought the answer would be yes. But somewhere in my heart, I knew it'd still hurt anyway. It'd be just a different kind of pain. And I don't know if it's fundamentally right to compare those pains.

When they say grief is a difficult topic, they are not kidding.