#it came to me in a dream (high school stairwell)

[bandagedloser]

my therian hcs for some the saw cast :3

amanda young: termite

adam faulkner-stanheight: termite

mark hoffman: termite

lawrence gordon: termite

john kramer: pseudomonas bacteria

peter strahm: termite

lindsey perez: termite

jill tuck: termite

daniel rigg: termite

allison kerry: termite

eric matthews: termite

daniel matthews: termite

michael marks: termite

strahm’s hand: termite

[storyofmychoices]

Can I Have this Dance?

[Bryce Lahela x Olivia Hadley Masterlist] 

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x Olivia Hadley (F!OC) Book: Open Heart Word Count: ~1,400 Rating: general (fluffy but it hurts too 🥺; bittersweet fluff?) Prompt: @choicesprompts rewrite challenge: "Can I have this dance" from High School Musical 3 (lyrics in italics) + a hint of The Notebook; @choicesjuly2023challenge fairytaleA/N: This is not revised or edited so please forgive any mistakes.

Synopsis: Some dances last a few minutes, others a lifetime, but every so often, there's one that lasts forever.

Olivia's laughter echoed through the small stairwell leading to the rooftop of the hospital as Bryce led her forward, a mischievous glint in his eyes. As the door clicked closed, he twirled her around gracefully. Their steps synchronized as if they had danced together a thousand times before.

"Bryce, what are we doing up here?" she asked, still giggling. Her face flushed as she followed him without hesitation. This is not how she pictured intern year looking.

He pulled her closer, a smile illuminating his whole face, "Living in the moment."

"On the hospital roof?" Olivia questioned, her eyes wide as she looked around at the flat expanse of the black tar roof, warmed by the sun's bright rays.

Bryce's gaze locked with hers as if she were the only sight to behold. His touch was gentle as he guided her with every step. "It doesn't matter where—" he began, his voice filled with a warmth she'd come to know. He reached up, brushing a stray strand of her vibrant red hair away from her face, allowing the sunlight to catch it in a shimmering glow. "—it only matters who."

Take my hand, take a breath Pull me close and take one step Keep your eyes locked on mine And let the music be your guide

The sun bathed them in its golden light, the world around them fading away, leaving just the two of them in a dream all their own. With each step supported by Bryce's steady hand, Olivia felt safer than she thought possible. As they moved together on the rooftop, the music in their heart guiding their step. She surrendered herself to the dance, knowing as long as her hand was in his, they could handle whatever challenges came their way. 

Won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget) We'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) Wherever we go next...

Their bare feet sank into the soft, cool sand as they twirled and spun, lost in the rhythm of their own. The gentle waves lapped against the shore, their tranquil melody blending with the laughter that escaped their lips. With every step, their love blossomed brighter, their hearts entwining like the dance of the footprints they left behind.

It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do And with every step together, we just keep on getting better So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance?) Can I have this dance?

With a graceful sweep, Bryce dipped Olivia, catching her off guard. Her eyes widened momentarily before she quickly relaxed in his arms. Her red hair cascaded down beneath her like a vibrant waterfall in the night's light. Their gazes never wavered, locked in a dance of their own. Bryce smiled as he guided her safely back into his arms, where they remained lost together. The moonlight shimmered on the horizon, casting a radiant glow upon the ocean's surface. The world around them stilled as if to pause in reverence of the lover's silent song.

Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles can't keep us apart) Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

Joyous laughter rang into the night, intertwining with exuberant cheers that drowned out the crashing waves. Bryce and Olivia found themselves at the beach once more, but this time they weren't alone. Their loving family and friends shared stories of cherished memories celebrating the journey of their love that brought them to their special day. As Bryce and Olivia mingled with their guests, expressing their gratitude, their eyes sought each other. Like magnets drawn together, they found their way back together in a tender embrace. 

Take my hand, I'll take the lead And every turn will be safe with me Don't be afraid, afraid to fall You know I'll catch you through it all And you can't keep us apart (even a thousand miles can't keep us apart) Cause my heart is (cause my heart is) wherever you are

Bryce and Olivia moved gracefully, their bodies swaying in perfect harmony. Her hands clasped around his neck, her fingers gently massaging the hair at his nape. The crowd of friends and family surrounding them stepped back, making room for the happy couple as they lost themselves in the music like they had so many times before. Olivia glided to his lead. Her white dress cascaded around her like the delicate foam of ocean waves as they gently crested upon the shore. Whispered "I love yous" passed between them in the quiet moments between songs. The dance of their hearts continued into the night, long after the festivities had ended.

It's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do And with every step together, we just keep on getting better So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance?) Can I have this dance?

Bryce extended his open hand to Olivia, a playful smile on his face. She laced her fingers with hers, happily accepting his invitation. Bryce spun her lightly into his arms. The soft blades of the green summer's grass tickled their bare feet. They danced extravagantly, putting on a show as their children watched with innocent laughter and applause. Their eyes were bright, filled with awe and wonder as their parents moved like a fairytale come to life despite the grey-filled skies looming. 

Oh no mountains too high and no oceans too wide Cause together or not, our dance won't stop Let it rain, let it pour What we have is worth fighting for You know I believe, that we were meant to be

A soft murmur filled the heavens above them, growing into a roaring symphony of raindrops as a soaking summer shower descended upon them. Their little ones' squeals of delight filled the air as they quickly jumped and splashed in the newly wet earth. Without hesitation, Bryce and Olivia joined in their joyful chaos. Together, they ran through the rain-soaked backyard. Their laughter mingled with the patter of the raindrops as the family lived in the moment, letting nothing, not even a summer storm, break their joy. 

It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding Someone like you (like you) It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do) And with every step together, we just keep on getting better So can I have this dance? (Can I have this dance?) Can I have this dance? And—

Bryce and Olivia lay side by side, their aging bodies nestled in the comfort of their bed. The lines etched on their faces told stories of a lifetime together. In the quiet stillness of the room, Bryce turned to Olivia, her once bright hair had faded white, yet her fire was all he saw. His eyes filled with the same love and adoration that captivated him all those years ago. "—can I have this dance?" he whispered, his voice filled with tenderness.

Olivia smiled lightly, her gaze locked with his, her voice soft, "Always." 

Though they knew they couldn't move like they used to, stepping out of the bed itself required assistance, their hearts still danced to the music of their love. Bryce shifted closer, wrapping his arms around her as she weakly did the same. 

"Promise me we'll keep dancing wherever we go next," Olivia whispered through labored breaths.

Bryce pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his words a delicate breath against her skin, "There's no one else I'd dance forever with." 

As they closed their eyes, memories of their past flooded their thoughts, their breaths slowing in unison, embracing one final dance, an eternal embrace that would last forever.

It's like catching lightning, the chances of finding Someone like you (like you) It's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do (way we do) And with every step together, we just keep on getting better So can I have this dance?

This was supposed to be a short silly fluffy romantic dance on the hospital roof mirroring the scene from HSM3, but then I had this idea of seeing how they dance their way through life's moments and I ended up breaking my own heart.

This also goes out to the anon to asked what happens when one of them dies.

I can't bring myself to reread it to edit or revise, knowing how it ends. So again, apologies for any inconsistencies or errors.

Thank you for reading and supporting me and my sunshine couple. It means the world to me.

[sockatoothewafflebird]

DUDE I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT AND IT WAS INSANE

and i got a really interesting horror idea from it too. the dream is too complicated to explain in a single tumblr post but i will share the horror idea i got from it because i think it's very interesting

it's basicallt a high school hell that's a mix between scp-3008 and the backrooms? and there's a little bit of comedy sprinkled in, because it's a high school, and all of the characters are either high schoolers or teachers that are done with this shit, and it makes no sense (to me) otherwise.

putting it below the cut because it's a long and probably hard to decipher explanation lmao

(tw for talk of mutilation, violence, isolation, probably suicide too... it was a crazy dream man)

basically there's this high school that's as tall as a skyscraper. like upwards of fifty floors. the school is three different buildings arranged in a triangle sort of pattern. there's glass and steel bridges in between each of them, though all the roofs and walls are gone somehow.

for some reason it's completely shut down, with EVERYONE inside it. no one can get in or out. and eventually a bunch of horrible things start happening to people. like some glass thing explodes and a huge HUGE chunk of it gets lodged into some girl's skull and mutilates her face to the point it's unrecognizable, or someone gets impaled and instead of dying their body deforms into the pole-like shape of the thing that impaled them.

the people these horrible disgusting things happen to become cryptids, monsters, horrific creatures that can't even be considered human anymore. some are friendly, sone are docile or skittish, and some have a taste for blood.

on top of having to avoid the monsters, the survivors also have to ration resources and find comfortable places to sleep and live and not go completely fucking insane.

this high school is HUGE, so there's almost every kind of room you can think of. on one floor there's just a bunch of culinary classroons and the cafeteria, on another there's carpentry class, on the next there's band and choir classes and the auditorium, the list goes on. so all you have to do to get the things you need is to go between floors and gather what you can.

the fastest way between floors is the stairwell. but the stairwell is exhausting, dark, cold, and probably filled with monsters that came from people that fell down the stairs or jumped to... get out of the situation. so your best bet is the elevators, of which there are four in each building. they malfunction often (some the maintenance guys became monsters and now only live to fix the elevators for eternity) and a lot of people want to take them, so it takes hours to get yourself from, say, the cafeteria floor to the locker rooms floor.

oh, and, kind of like SCP-3008, the cafetière is always stocked with food, culinary classrooms are always full of ingredients, all the plumbing still works so there's no demand for water... pretty much every necessity is fulfilled here. and as a bonus, all the equipment in all the classrooms are fully repaired and functional- every morning it's all brand new. everything you need to not die here is there waiting, as long as you can get to it before something else gets to you.

the bottom floor is dark, dangerous, and probably reeks of death. tons of people that fell down the stairwell end up at the bottom and their corpses just stay there and rot. it's another reason no one uses the stairs anymore; it smells horrible.

the bottom floor is the most dangerous, and the top floor is the safest (if you don't go running for the edge of the building), but each floor varies in danger and usefulness.

if you're lucky, you'll get the chance to see the computer engineering/graphic design floor, where all the students in those classes just code and build things on computers. this floor is the only floor where electronics work, and most of the time people come here to call their families, check the news and maybe call news outlets to be interviewed and shit, and play some good ol' videogames.

some teachers decided to keep teaching those willing to keep learning, and a lot of the teachers that survived the first wave of creatures have taught themselves and others how to handle the hostile ones. some teachers are just fending for themselves, and some... it's better not to say.

the story follows a small group of allies and friends trying to not fucking die. that's pretty much it.

[shessoft]

So I don't forget. Here is that Academy Bros AU fic that I wrote years ago. Not proofread. Rough draft. Maybe like 8th draft idk it was years ago. Anyway, here ya go!

and the birth of Academy Bros AU

Depression wasn’t something the Sawyers spoke about. In fact, to them it was something rich white people made up to get drugs from their doctors. So, when Adelina entered high school she had to double down and force herself to get through the day. As far as she knew everyone felt hollow and petrified all the time too. Besides she had her big brother’s shoes to fill, grades to maintain, and a family reputation to uphold. By the time she was 16 she had a three year old niece, Maggie, who she was determined to be there for. As long as she was ‘good’ then she was okay.

While Maggie looked like her mother’s mini clone, it was her father she took after in personality. Stubborn and competitive, and in spite of him she was loyal to a fault. Sawyer blood must have been strong because she seemed to take after her aunt Adelina as well, much to the family’s dismay. Adelina couldn’t keep Maggie from this thanks to her parents not checking the stairwell or around corners before discussing such matters.

“She’s too much like Adelina, it's not right.”

“What’s so wrong with my sister? She’s a free babysitter. We don’t have to leave Maggie with strangers.”

“She’s a stranger to me!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“She’s not right in the head, Berto, your parents have always said-”

“Now wait one minute-”

“Do you really want Maggie around that? She's taking the pills now. Did you know?”

Before Maggie knew it her grandma took over as her primary sitter and she only saw her aunt for the holidays. They said it was because Adelina was so busy with school but Maggie knew better, Adelina was in college since she was born and she was never too busy for her before.

Christmas Eve 

“Lina! You’re here!” As soon as she walked through the door and her voice was heard she had a tiny twelve year old in a dirty soccer jersey barreling towards her for a hug.

“Hey, Tink! I missed you, look how big you are! Gonna be taller than me soon.” She compares her height to her niece jokingly. If she grew any taller than Adelina it’d be a miracle.

“I missed you so so much! I have so much to tell you!”

“I bet you do! Let me guess, you...broke the world record for dirtiest child?”

“No, silly! I’m team Captain!”

“Ahh my little super star! I knew you would! Congrats, baby!” She sweeps her up into a great big bear hug.

“Thanks, Lina. I missed you.”

“Aw, my little Tinkerbell, what d’ya say we go sneak some of gram gram’s famous tiramisu to celebrate?”

“Yeah!” Maggie grabs her hand and leads her into the kitchen giggling the whole way. Effectively ruining the sneaking idea.

Maggie always knew she was different. When her parents used to talk about her possible future they always seemed more excited than her. Her Aunt Adelina, the youngest of the Sawyer family until Maggie came along, was ‘different’ too. Maybe that’s why they got along so well or maybe it's because Maggie’s mother was an only child and Adelina was the only extended family she had. Either way the two of them never truly fit into the polished family they were born into.

--

By the time Maggie was entering high school she saw her aunt less and less. In the words of her mother, “she refused to settle down and start a family. She’d rather live in sin with her boyfriend.” This seemed like a ludicrous reason to be angry with her but then again Adelina never did anything her family expected of her. She was even so bold as to decline her parents' dreams for her life and instead chose her own path. Maggie respected her aunt for living so fearlessly, in fact it's why she loved her so much. To her, Adelina was remarkable despite what her parents or grandparents said. She never treated Maggie like some stupid kid. She didn’t just love her niece, Maggie actually felt loved as she is. There was never any pretense with her aunt. She never felt she had to gain her approval or ask for her attention. With Adelina, it was all just given automatically and unconditionally.

So when Maggie’s dad caught her in the school parking lot with Wren, she called her aunt crying into the payphone.

“Hey, Tink! Sweetie, slow down I can barely hear you. What happened?”

“Dad-he-he said I’m gonna burn in hell.”

“Maggie, that’s not true. He’s just-”

“Lina, he kicked me out.”

“He what?”

“He gave me ten minutes to get my things and then he told me to get out of his house.”

“Where are you right now?”

“The bus station. I walked all the way here before I realized I left my wallet. Please tell me you’re still in town?”

“I’m on my way. Stay put, I’ll be there soon.”

She’s only been back to her parents house once. The same day Adelina picked her up at the bus station she drove her straight home. She was convinced her aunt was bringing her back to try to talk to her father into letting her stay. Instead she told Maggie to get the rest of her things, as much as she could pack. Maggie expected to hear her father and aunt yelling but it was eerily quiet. The silence that crept through the house broke her heart further. Her father had nothing to say. Didn’t even bother fighting his sister because he didn’t care about Maggie, not anymore. He just wanted her gone.

When she came down the stairs with her bag she found Adelina staring her father down as he stared out the back window.

“I’m taking her with me, Berto. If you come to your senses you know where we live.” Satisfied with her statement she turned sharply and stormed out the front door leaving Maggie standing in the kitchen doorway looking at her father.

“Dad?” Nothing. He didn’t even react as if he didn’t hear her. She knows he did, he just wants nothing to do with her.

“Please. I love you.” She chokes back a small sob watching him walk out of the room without looking back. She angrily wipes tears off her cheeks and secures her bag over her shoulder and walks out the front door. Adelina was waiting for her on the porch. She pretends she doesn’t hear her sniffling or see her puffy eyes as she takes the bag from her. Adelina wraps her arm around her niece’s shoulders and walks her to the car. As Maggie opens the passenger door her heart sinks again. 

This time it's due to her mother who just pulled into the driveway. Maggie barely had time to blink before her mom was practically leaping out of the car and walking straight inside.

“Come on, Tink let’s go.” At the sound of her voice Maggie’s eyes drift to her aunt and then down to her hand on the car door and she gasps. She hadn’t realized she was holding her breath, as if she could control her mother's actions. They both climb into the car and once buckled Adelina pulls away.

“She didn’t even look at me.”

“Do you want to talk-”

“No.” She didn’t mean to snap but just the mention of talking about...any of it. The idea of telling her aunt everything that happened. She’s not ready to relive it all. “Not yet.”

“Whenever you’re ready.”

The only solace Maggie had was the fact that it was almost summer. It didn’t take long for the news to spread through the small town of her disowning. Seeing as how her father all but dragged her away from Wren by her hair in front of half the school.

“You’re home early.”

“Well it's nice to see you too.”

“Don’t be fresh. I thought you’d be at practice.”

“I quit the team.”

“What? When?”

“Today.”

“What, Maggie, why? You love soccer?”

“No, dad loves soccer. He only enrolled me because when I was eight I kicked Travis in the balls.”

“Oh, I forgot about that. What the hell happened to that kid?”

“He’s somewhere happy probably.”

“Okay, Tink. Regardless of how you ended up playing, you love playing! Where is my little Tinkerbell who made captain three years in a row?”

“She’s in the picture frame on her parents mantle. Maybe even in the trash now.”

“Maggie, you can’t let them take something you love away from you.”

“Besides themselves you mean?”

“I’m-sorry that’s not-I know it fucking sucks. I wish I could fix it all, I do. I just don’t want you to give up everything.”

“You have to have something in order to give up something.”

“Please talk to me. Tell me what happened that day. It’s been months you can’t keep it in any more.”

“What do you want me to say? That I’m humiliated? That I feel disgusting? That it was all for nothing?”

“Oh, sweetie. Come here. Look at me.” She holds Maggie’s face in her hands. “If anyone should be humiliated, it's him! You are remarkable and loving and you are gonna do so much good in this world. Do you hear me?” 

“Lina, I’m gay.”

“I know, sweetie.”

“That’s the first time I said that.”

“I know.” She wipes away Maggie’s tears with her thumbs and pulls her into a hug. “Your love is not wrong. It's beautiful and real, and you will get to experience it one day the way that you deserve. Uninhibited and unconditional. I promise. Now, let's go have some dinner, yeah?”

Chuckling, “yeah.” Adelina stands up and physically shakes it out eliciting a giggle from her niece. 

Later that night after watching Rhoda reruns Maggie decides to tell her everything. She’s accepted the fact that this is her home now. That Adelina is her only family now.

“She’s on the team.”

“Who?”

“Wren. She was on the team with me.”

“Oh. And she’s the one-”

“My dad caught me kissing? Yeah that’s her.”

“So did you quit because she’s telling everyone you’re a bad kisser-” Just then she’s hit in the face with a pillow. 

“Shut up! No, I quit because I’m an idiot that misread everything and being around her physically hurts.”

“Ouch. I’ve been there.”

“Yeah right.”

“No, I have! Cross my heart. His name was Monty.”

“That fact alone is embarrassing. I guess I believe you.”

They ended up moving to Colorado at the start of Maggie’s Junior year when Adelina got offered  a nursing job she couldn’t pass up. The fact that it was a fresh start for both of them was a bonus. After accumulating credits at community college Maggie transferred to a University to complete her bachelor's.

“Are you sure?”

“Auntie, for the last time this is what I’m meant to do. I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

“Ugh I know, I know. You’re gonna be amazing! California is just so far away.”

“It's not that far.”

She never got the full story out of Maggie until she was wasted on her 21st. If she was being honest she wishes she never knew. According to Maggie, that day started full of promise. Wren had taken to leaving soft kisses on Maggie’s cheeks every time they said goodbye a few months into the school year. When Wren leaned in to say goodnight Maggie returned the gesture for the first time. Unlike Wren, she kissed the girl on the lips and then the world fell out from under her feet. It felt as if the moment their lips touched her father’s voice erupted from the sky. Before she really knew what was happening his hand was wound tightly around her arm as he dragged her towards his car and forced her inside. Too frightened to speak up, they rode in a tense silence back to the house. She could see his knuckles turn white as he gripped the steering wheel avoiding her eyes. They pulled into the driveway and as he got out he slammed the door and stomped inside. Once out of sight she let out a garbled sob before opening the door and grabbing her bag.

“Dad?” She walked into the kitchen to see his back facing her.

“Ten minutes.”

“What?”

“You have ten minutes to get your things and then I want you out.”

“What? What do you mean? Dad what did I-”

“Don’t you dare! You have the audacity to live under my roof and carry on like that?”

“Daddy, please I don’t understand!”

“You disgust me. You are a disgrace to this family. I will not have my daughter running around being a deviant!”

“I never even did anything!”

“Do not raise your voice to me! I know what I saw! I knew you weren’t right but I never thought it’d come to this. Maggie you are going where I cannot follow. I will not follow! You are burning in hell already my child. I will not stand by and watch. You’re disgusting. Get your things and then get out of my house. You are not my daughter.”

“Dad, please!”

“GO. NOW.”

That was over eight years ago. Now? Now she was about to start at the police academy. With high hopes of moving up in rank she put all her focus and energy into this one thing.

-----

Fresh from his college graduation, James wasted no time before applying for the police academy, much to his family’s chagrin. His mom, though she means well, couldn’t understand why he spent all those years working towards his BA in journalism just to go into law enforcement. Daniella, his baby sister, thought it was a dumb idea but she’s just glad he was relocating to California.

He thought he was in peak physical condition until he started training. He was paired up to spar with a woman who was shorter than his 15 year old sister. He’s not usually one to underestimate and after this 5 foot nothing had his back to the mat for the fourth time he vowed to never do so again. He was impressed, a little turned on and definitely intrigued. He initially thought she was just trying to prove herself to everyone by taking down the tallest guy but he soon realized she was enjoying kicking his ass. The Captain called her Sawyer which could be her name but everyone got last named here so he had to do some digging. He could just ask her but she was intimidating and didn’t seem to give any of the guys the time of day. He figured she had a boyfriend already or wasn’t interested in dating cops. If you asked his sister though he was assuming too much.

“Shut up, Dani.”

“Jimmy, you don’t even know her first name. Have you even spoken to her yet? It's been a month.”

“She always disappears after training.”

“Oh my god suck it up man, you’re an embarrassment.”

That's pretty much how all his calls home ended lately. Even his mom was calling him out. He really needed to stop sharing everything with them, even though they made a good point. He was teamed up with Sawyer again the following week and he realized the captain thought they worked well together. Now was as good a time as any. He found her hanging around chatting with Stevens, another female trainee.

“Hey, Sawyer. Wait up.” When she turns around he notices a look of annoyance cross her face but it's quickly replaced with a dimpled smile. As if the realization of the voice’s owner brought it on. He takes this as a good sign.

“It's Maggie, actually.”

“James Olsen,” he extends his hand, noting her firm handshake.

“I know. What's up?”

“Some of us are going out for drinks and food. Interested? Or do you have to run off as usual?”

“You been stalking me, Olsen?”

She’s smirking but he still feels called out. “I just noticed you’re not really involved, which is cool I get it. Just here for the job and all that but it's more exciting working with friends in my experience.”

“Yeah I guess I’m just used to being solo most of the time.”

“So is that a yes?”

“Yeah sure.”

--

“Come on, smalls. It's Thanksgiving.”

“I told you to stop calling me that. I don’t want to impose on your family holiday.”

“And I told you my mom wants you to come. Also, I’m your best friend. I'm allowed a nickname.”

“You’re not my best friend.”

His hand goes up to rest on his chest, “ I’m hurt.”

“Shut up,” she exclaims, hitting his arm.

“No, who is it? I want to know who is stealing my best friend from me.”

“It's Ferguson.”

“You’re best friends with the jerk that caused my ass kicking? Literally kicked in the ass because of him.”

“No you deserved that all on your own.”

“I was trying to help. He wouldn’t stop harassing you.”

“I don’t need that kind of help. You can’t just out people like that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize that's what I was doing.”

“You still never told me how you knew.”

“Smalls, we go out to bars together. I see who you check out because I’m looking too.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Too late, my family knows all.”

“You have the biggest mouth! You told them too?”

“I didn’t know! Ow!”

“What did they say?”

“They don’t care. They’re excited to meet you. Dani had a field day when she found out I was crushing on a lesbian.”

“You what?”

---

“Just consider it. I’m telling you, you’ll be thanking me.”

“You say that now but your track record for setting me up on dates is disastrous at best.”

“This time is different!”

“Because she’s your ex-fling's sister? Yeah, that is different. See also, messy.”

“You’re impossible, you know that? Just go on one date with her. I’m telling you Alex is a total catch.”

“Okay, gramps, what makes her a ‘catch’?”

“She’s brilliant and badass. Sexy and soulful and-”

“Then why don’t you date her?”

“Because I have Corrie, remember?”

“Shit! She didn’t dump you yet?”

“You’re hilarious. My little sister made the same joke already.”

“I know. We were making fun of you over skype last week.”

“Anyway! Alex is like family and also gay so I’m not really her type.”

“Just because I’m a lesbian doesn’t automatically make us a good match nor does it make me her type.”

“Technically no, but she thinks you’re gorgeous so…”

“Pfft gorgeous? Yeah, sure.”

“It's true! I showed her a picture of you and-”

“What picture?”

“The one from last Christmas...and others.”

“Jimmy! Christmas pictures are for family only! You know the rules!”

“Why do you care? You don’t even want to date her, remember?”

“I never said that.”

“I knew it! Trust me you won’t regret it.”

“You better hope I don’t.”

--

She hates this. She physically hates everything about what is happening and everyone in the room with her. She rolls her eyes at her aunt's smug face through Dani’s laptop, who has taken it upon herself to dress Maggie for her date with Alex.

“Stop sulking Tink! It’s just a date with a hot girl.”

“You don’t even know what she looks like, Lina.”

“But I do! James showed me her pic and I met her once, briefly. Trust me she’s hot.”

“Ugh will you two stop saying that. It’s unsettling.”

“Whatever. Here, try this on.”

“Dani this isn’t even mine it’s yours.”

“What’s wrong with my clothes?”

“Nothing if I was also 15.”

“Sounds like our Maggie wants to make a good impression on this Alex.”

“You know what Adelina I think you’re right!”

“I hate both of you.”

—-

“Olsen, if this blows up in my face I’m gonna kill you with my bare hands and no one will find the body. Call me when you get this.”

She wouldn’t say she’s freaking out so much as her family forced her on this date. God even mama Olsen gave her a hard time. Why couldn’t they just let her be?

It’s not like Maggie was opposed to the set up. In fact she was kind of excited with all the hype everyone put into building this woman up! Which was also the problem. What if they were over compensating or worse, it’s a pity date. She seriously doubts James talked her up successfully. He’s not the greatest wingman. The thing is she’s never actually had a serious relationship. Her romantic history was littered with hookups and flings and very few actual dates.

“Maggie?”

Oh fuck. She’s here. How did she miss the fact that she was standing right in front of her?

“That’s me!” Olsen was not lying at all. This woman is gorgeous. “And I’m hoping you’re Alex?” Maggie makes a mental note to try and get that smile to appear as much as possible.

—

“So you and Jimmy work together?”

“Sometimes but he actually works with my sister so we cross paths a lot.”

“Right, he mentioned that. The boy talks so damn much it’s hard to retain it all.” New mental note, make Alex laugh more.

“So how do you know Jimmy? He said you’re his sister but the last names seem suspect.”

“Oh! Yeah we met at the academy and-“

“He was in the police academy? You’re kidding?”

“No he definitely was. Obviously  he didn’t follow through with it but he was decent.”

“I never would have guessed! He’s not very…”

“Authoritative? Yeah no he’s artsy and soft.”

“I see. And what about you? Are you authoritative or soft?”

How the fuck does she answer that?

“Both?”

“I bet.” Why did she say both? Now she has to somehow be both? Pull it together Sawyer, she’s just a woman.

“Anyway, we met in the Academy and the Olsens are very welcoming people, you could say. Mama unofficially adopted me and Lina.”

“Lina?”

“My aunt.”

Definitely not first date conversation but Alex seemed fine when Maggie skated over the subject of her past and family. So the date wasn’t awful. Actually, it was amazing and she’s seeing Alex again next week, but she’s gonna keep that info to herself for the time being. Her family is cocky enough as it is.

----

Text from Jman

I just met you

Smalls

NO

Jman

And this is crazy

Smalls

Yes you are crazy

Jman

But heres my number

Smalls

Its 8am olsen wtf

Jman

So call me maybe

Smalls

I rather eat glass

Jman

Before you came into my life i missed you so bad

Smalls

I’m not above murdering you

Jman

I MISSED YOU SO BAD

Smalls

OMG

I missed you so so bad

Jman

Mission accomplished

Smalls

I fucking hate you

Jman

You love me

And you LOV--LIKE Alex

Smalls

Ugh go away

Jman

Not until you say it

Smalls

That you’re a horrible man and you’re gonna die alone?

Jman

AND ALL THE OTHER BOYS

Smalls

PLEASE NO MORE

Jman

Then say it

Smalls

Thank you. You were right, ALL MIGHTY ONE. The date was good. I really liked her.

Happy?

Jman

SO CALL HER MAYBE

Smalls

I’m deleting you

She could hear his smug laughter from across town.

-----

Group chat Lina Dani Jman Smalls

Dani

GUESS WHO HAS A NEW GF

Lina

James?

Dani

BAHAHAHA yeah right

Lina

Our little Maggie?

James

I resent that

DING DING DING

Maggie is officially with Alex

Dani

I fucking called it!!

So which nerd do we think is gonna propose first?

I’m taking bets

Lina

Maggie

Jman

Smalls for sure

Smalls

I hate all of you

---

4 months later group chat

Smalls

I fucked up i fucked up i fucked up

Dani

Did you finally murder someone?

Smalls

NO little one

Worse

Jman

What's worse than homocide? Shit homicide

Smalls

Telling Alex i love her

Dani

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jman

Holy shit

Smalls

HELP ME

Jman

Well...do you love her?

Smalls

Wtf does that have to do with anything jimmy?

Dani

Auntie it's everything

Jman

Yeah smalls stop being so scared

Smalls

You two are useless

----

Alex

Are we still on for tonight?

Maggie

If i didn’t fuck everything up yeah haha

Alex

You’re an idiot

Maggie

Thank you. I try really hard.

Alex

Good. Can’t wait to see you xx

--

Smalls

I am the shit

Jman

The what now

Dani

I have finals stop putting me in these group texts

Find friends your own age!!

Smalls

You know morally it's wrong to fight a child but i will

Dani

Shut up you couldn’t even reach

Smalls

You know what fine i won’t tell you about my love life anymore

Jman

Ha what love life

Dani

Shut up jimmy !!

WHAT HAPPENED

Smalls

You guys were right okay

About Alex

And she loves me back and that's all the info you’re gonna get from now on

Goodbye

Dani

Wait

No

COME BACK

MORE DETAILS

Jman

Damn i’m happy for you smalls

Dani

Be quiet James i want to know how she told her

Maggie??

Hello??

Smalls

Go study little one

[shortpplfedup]

My School President Episode 4: Hopes and dreams

Oh my oh my oh my. That was even better than any clown theory I could have possibly dreamed up. I love so much about how this show is constructed and the things it wants to say about what it takes to make dreams come true and the importance of having people in your corner. I mean, the theme song is literally titled 'You Got Ma Back' and it took me until now to get it, silly rabbit. In this episode, the boys really start getting to know each other (giving the audience a look in as well), and the Bad Buddy DNA continues to be strong with the catalyst character showing up, the energy shifting between our dynamic duo and the face-cleaning trope/PPL making an appearance...lol.

Verse: Slackers gotta shape up

Bring it on, ring the alarm Don't stop now, just be the champion Work it hard, like it's your profession Watch out now, 'cause here it comes

Britney Spears | Work Bitch (2013)

I appreciate that the show made the point that slacking won't get you very far in anything you actually care about. The boys claim to be serious about music, and from the first episode and Gun's speech that he never got to give, you get that Gun understands what it will take to get to and win Hot Wave, but they all lacked the discipline to see their dream through. Sound, coming in as the hardass heavy, is the missing piece of the band's puzzle, and Gun was aware enough to realise it. The part he missed, that he learned by the end, is that Chinzhilla doesn't need Sound instead of him, but needs Sound as well as him. Because what Gun brings is the magic, the sparkle, the je ne sais quoi, the FUN. That's made clear elsewhere in the story this ep as well, as Gun taps into what's missing from the student council's approach to the student body and figures out a way for them to have fun and spread some joy while still achieving their goals. You start to see how Gun and Tinn are really well matched, as Tinn brings the structure and Gun brings the style.

Chorus: Eyelashes are being batted

Every time you look at me My heart is jumping, it's easy to see

Britney Spears | (You Drive Me) Crazy (1999)

The other thing you start to see is how Gun has game. Having realised that he likes Tinn, he is now paying attention and has noticed that Tinn likes him too. And he is going for it, and he's much better at flirting than Tinn is by several orders of magnitude. Tinn came strong with the hand stamp and offer to hang out with him if he was lonely, but Gun made the monster moves with the bow tie adjustment (classic) and the selfie. I mean, after the bow tie thing Tiw had to leave the room, and I FELT that. It felt like a 'let me just give y'all some privacy' moment. I love that Tinn saw how Gun lost his sparkle without music club, and he tried to give him back music via the council because Gun's sparkle is integral to why he likes him in the first place. And then he went beyond, to free Gun from the commitment he felt like he'd made and return him to music club, because that is ultimately where he wants to be. He let Gun go, and he came right back to him, because now Gun wants music and Tinn. Gorgeous.

Ad Libs

I know that high school cliques do seem impenetrable but it's still funny how everybody behaved like Gun couldn't be in music club and play for the student council.

Next week looks like they're actually gonna address some of the implied class differences between Gun and Tinn, interesting.

I loved the conversation Tinn and Gun had in the stairwell, Tinn giving insight into what feels like a fear of failure and Gun feeling like he was born to perform. Them getting to know each other is so sweet and you see them becoming more endeared the more they learn.

Sound making them all dress like they're in a boy band was HILARIOUS. I wanna see the inside of that kid's mind.

The Holy Chinchilla! 🤣 Sadhu

That one snobby kid from the council is gonna make one hell of a civil service bureaucrat someday.

I love a good pinkie touch/link 🥰

[epidaleacalamita]

oh yeah i had this crazy ass dream. like i rarely dream and usually i just dream about grabbing snacks at the supermarket and wake up and get sad that i didn't actually get those snacks and i can't eat them. that or the bionicle dream which i don't need to explain to any of you i think. but for whatever reason my subconscious locked the fjck in and queued me up for whatever the hell i experienced last night.

it started in a building with a layout that seemed heavily based on my memories of the high school campus i went to. it was the middle of the night, i was up on the third floor, i was there on behalf of some, like, paranormal researcher? they wanted me to investigate some like weird door that occasionally showed up where there wasn't supposed to be a door on the floor plan. it had like a glass window through which i could see flashing strings of random alphanumeric characters, and there was a keypad next to the door which presumably i had to use to input the correct character from each flashed string. i got the first input right and then i think i might have taken too long to get the second input in. at that point a Scary Voice came from behind the door saying "I SEE YOU..." and at that moment dream me became aware that there were many many deadly ghosts and ghouls wandering this building in the middle of the night and they were all now aggroed on me and aware of my exact location. so i started running, headed over to the stairwell, jumped into the gap in the middle and fell two stories to the ground floor somehow without exploding my knees, and then ran out of the building and to the school cafeteria building.

at that point the scenario changed and i was now a phantom myself, invisible and intangible, hanging out in the cafeteria, it's daytime now. i don;t think there were any other people in there with me. then suddenly a bunch of men with beards and sunglasses walked in, one of them was noticeably taller and bulkier than the others and dream me was immediately like "these are mercenaries. these are hired killers". they had a theme song too like they entered the building and the shot like slowed down dramatically and i swear i heard the opening like first minute of Heart Go Boom by apollo 440. anyway these guys walk through the cafeteria head to the back door and go out back. i, the invisible intangible phantom, follow them. they kill some random guy and i'm like "woah maybe i should do something about these guys. i know, i'll possess them with my phantom abilities" and somehow i became aware that one of them was a traitor who was planning to kill the others and i was like "hm. i don't think i'll possess that one" and as they were casually walking back to their car i phantom possessed another of the guys who had a light machine gun and shot all the other guys except the traitor. then i had my possessed guy shoot himself. at this point there were other people in the area who witnessed this random merc on merc violence and started screaming. but one of them was the ufckin acdc vocalist brian johnson and he screamed too but he screamed in the acdc goblin screech singing voice. and his phone started blowing up because i think the other acdc band members were nearby and they were sending him messages like "whats going on" "was that you screaming" and he got a call from one of them and it was like "lol did you scream in the goblin voice" and i don't remember exactly what he said in response but he was giving this very sarcastic retort and he was still talking in the goblin voice and i remember thinking whatever he said was kinda funny.

then the scenario changed again and i was getting in a travel van with a bunch of people including a classmate from elementary school who i litwrally hadn't thought about in like a decade. i had my phone out and brian johnson's goblin voice sarcastic retort was coming out of the speakers and my classmate was like "is that ai voice cloning of the acdc guy" and for some reason my immediate response is "no it's my australian friend doing the acdc goblin voice" which was a weird thing for dream me to say because i don't actually know if my australian friend can do that voice.

at that point was when i fully woke up and went "Well what the fjck was any of that."

[dzpenumbra]

5/20/23

Sleep is utterly fucked. XD It's already starting to be light out.

I don't like talking about this but I talk about everything else, so fuck it. I get a painful problem in my urethra sometimes. It's super rare but insanely painful and makes me feel like I'm right on the edge of pissing myself, sometimes for hours. And that shit is scary as a guy, because that kinda stuff is a symptom of prostate issues. But I've gotten that checked out before and never any concerns, so I'm trying not to doom with that, I guess it's just an internal irritation issue that likely has to do with dehydration, if I had to hypothesize. That shit happened last night as I was going to bed, and it kept me up until 8:30. I fell asleep with my laptop in my face after an hour of laying there, waiting for it to calm down and trying to convince my body that I'm not going to piss the bed. So... 6/10, wouldn't recommend.

I had a dream too, that woke me up after 5 hours of sleep. It was heavily inspired by re-opening my shit in therapy and in my journal last night. I had a new dog that was identical to my old dog. Maybe it was her, idk. I was living in a renovated hotel in room 321. I told my former high school best friend - the one I ran into at the river back in my old town, when I was going to visit where I spread my dog's ashes, the homeless fentanyl dealer who lost custody of her 5 kids, that one - I told her where I lived. But I didn't tell her my room number, I remember that. And I was going out into the parking lot with my dog off-leash and she was right there. She was in the parking lot, getting out of the car. It was a dramatized version of her old car from high school she called "Smokey", a dark gray Saab 900. And she had some of our hippie friends from high school with her. And I immediately went into evasion mode.

I somehow ended up on the other side of her car, so the car was between me and the building (and my dog)... so I just kept my gaze low and speed-walked back, and ended up going right past her and she tried to get my attention and I just quickly and casually responded "oh hey..." and just kept going. And I called my dog to me and got her by the collar and brought her inside with me. And we navigated this tight maze of a building super fast, tight corridors and narrow stairwells and shit. And we got to the 3rd floor and... there was some kind of restaurant or something on that floor? For some reason? Maybe it was the dream's excuse to introduce waitstaff without me questioning it... XD I was looking at the room number signs looking for the section that my room was in. I was still very new to the building. The room number signs are still so vividly memorable to me. Big rounded brass numerals, in weird sections, like 302-351 or something. And they were on oval wooden plaques mounted on the walls. And I remember being able to read the numbers, but there being something weird about them, something not right. And the waitstaff guy came over to us and started asking if we were okay and I explained and it was cool. And I think that was basically it, I think I woke up there.

I guess... I'm trying to hide my future self from the demons from my past. It's kinda frustrating, this one. Like... when most people think of "my demons", they think of like... your mistakes, your insecurities, your vices, shit like that. And don't get me wrong, I do have my vices and I have definitely made mistakes. But... I feel like with all the time I've spent sitting with them and sitting with myself in that process, I've come to terms with pretty much all of them. Not that it makes the burden any less to carry, you just... start to get a stronger understanding that life is a constant learning process. From the second you are born until the second you die, life is about growth and learning. Unless you deliberately choose not to learn. It's up to you what you learn and how much. So, dwelling on naive moments from the past, in some kind of subconscious metaphysical yearning to alter causality - to undo, erase or rewrite the past - is an act of futility, its like purgatory. The only way the past can be purposed is through how you presently use the memory of the past, through influencing future decisions, through education. Processing those lessons in healthy ways, and proactively refining your process of living life - through self discovery, through self-understanding, through clear and healthy intention, and through adaptation - is like... what life is all about. I think, at least. And that's all well and good, but... my demons... in this case... are others. My problem, in this case, is people from my past that still haunt me.

Like the haunted house trope. I love horror movies so much, they teach you so much about the human psyche when you look at them metaphorically, like... it's so blatant. So... with spirits and demons and shit, you have the kind of ghost that lurks in the place it died, or the place where a traumatic event happened. A stretch of road where their car wrecked, a bathtub where they slit their wrists, shit like that. You've seen ghost movies, you know what I'm talking about. And if you've ever experienced a severe loss that lingered with you? And then returned to the site where it happened? You know that metaphor well. But... sometimes hauntings follow people. Sometimes the people in the movie relocate, and the hauntings happen there too. Like the spirit... attached to the person. And a lot of movies differentiate this, and associate this with demons.

So... I'm kinda spitballing this here on the spot.. but like... maybe the haunted house ghosts are... grief. A form of trauma, but more... loss. Death. And the demon shit... that's more... evil. That's more... like... the bad shit that people have done to the person who is haunted. Both forms of trauma, obviously. And both manifesting very similarly. Idk, I think it's an interesting premise.

It's getting mighty bright out. I'm gonna wrap this up.

I finished the necklace. I cracked down on it and got it done. I skipped yoga, and I'm not happy with myself for that, but I worked hard and got the necklace done. And I posted my red and black mala on Instagram too, right before I started writing this. So, that's good work for today.

There's a farmers market coming up in my town, walking distance away. I think I could throw together a bunch of necklaces that aren't really... as in-depth as the one I just made... And make some cash doing that. Like... I'm seeing pieces that are less hand-painted than mine going for like... almost 50 bucks on Etsy. And that's a pretty normal price there. I think I could pull that off. It kinda really sucks that I would have to get $50 for at least 10 hours of work. Like... that really blows. I always feel like I'm just... not valuing my work hours if I do that. But I honestly don't feel like someone would pay more. Idk, maybe I'm wrong. I'm so out of touch with this shit. I wish I had someone to brainstorm this with.

But yeah, that farmers market... first one is in 9 days. I doubt I'm going to have enough inventory to run a booth. And idk about like... rushing shit out... but I can make much simpler stuff in batches and sell it for cheaper, and probably make a decent chunk of change. Like... I have a pound of blank beads just sitting here with me. If I throw like... 40 of them in a jar and dye them right now, dry them overnight, then string them tomorrow? Pennies of product cost, not a ton of labor, and I could probably get away with at least a $15 price tag each. Even more if I add in the stones I have - tigers eye, garnet, obsidian, moonstone, shit like that. Idk, it's a thought. It's just such a weird thought to like... have my own booth. I don't even know what I'd call it. My streaming name? Make something up? <shrug>

I'll just focus on creating for now, and sort that out later. But for right now, bed time.

[pileofeyes]

I had a dream about a thing called Joe.

It was a long while ago, now. I wake up often in the night still, but very seldom do I remember my dreams like I remember this one. I can’t tell you why. There’s no reason that it should stick out to me—and yet, here we are.

I need someone else to know about this. I can’t be alone with it anymore.

It was dark out, in the dream. Storm clouds as far as the eye could see. I was in college, just like I am now.

This college was different.

It was tall. When I try to remember it enough to put a number on the height, my mind gives me answers like ‘seventy five stories’ and ‘endless stairwells beyond your capabilities to climb’. It was glass, and slim, but stood rigid in the howling wind.

My mother was visiting me. I was meant to go away for a time. I don’t know why, just that I had to leave, and she was here to make it easier. When she came, I asked her if she wanted to get dinner. We both love a deal, and the school ID I had meant I could get some things for free.

Inside the tall, tall building, on the very first floor, right after the front doors, was the restaurant. This story of the building was stretched out further than the rest. The menu started where regular menus started, but then it stretched.

We stood at the counter and craned our neck to look up at it. I joked with my mother than the top of it should have little clouds condensing around the prices. She laughed back. People kept coming up who knew their orders, but we couldn’t quite make choices that fast (and the free choices were more difficult to tally up), so we decided to sit down as we figured it out.

We sat in between two other people. There was a third seat to our left that I knew was meant for my brother—and yet he never came to fill it. When I moved to look at the menu again, my elbow sent someone’s sauce cup flying.

She was nice. Just said, “Good shot!” and laughed it off. I dropped down to clean it up anyways, fistfuls of brown paper napkins, clenched teeth. I kept sopping and sopping at the ground, and yet it always came away damp.

The floor was wet. It wasn’t just me, I realized, as there was a drain in the middle of the room that was growing bloated with water. It spilled from the grate and seeped through the grout to where I slapped napkins against ranch, an endless tide.

“Could I get a mop?” I remember asking, though the words had felt odd in my mouth, “Could I?”

A worker just stood next to me and looked like she was about to cry. She had no mop for me. The puddle kept growing and growing, and nobody moved to do anything but get out of it’s way. I scrambled for some way to help—eventually, digging my nails into the grate and prying it clean from the drain. I hurt my ankle, somehow. I don’t remember. I think someone stepped on me trying to get away from the water.

“I don’t know why it does that,” she told me, through tears, “but nobody helps me keep the water out.”

It was too late to eat now. The lights at the top of the high, high ceiling had gone out, and metal blockades were being pulled over the food cases. My mother, who appeared from the tables, guiltless and innocent in my mind despite her lack of assistance, offered to fill up my gas tank while I showered and packed the last of my things.

I took her up on this deal.

The tall, tall building was a complex one. We started on the bottom floor, I know this, and the dorms must have been somewhere up higher, but in order to get to them, I had to walk through a printing room.

It must have been on the same floor as the restaurant, because the ceiling went on endlessly. Nothing went up these walls—it was like they were just higher, but everything else had stayed the same height. There were rows and rows and rows of white computer cubicles clustered around printers, people dotted in between.

“Excuse me?” I remember someone saying. Their voice grated on my nerves, but I stopped anyway, despite the pain in my ankle.

She wanted help. I showed her the basics of how to use the printers—how to add money to your account, how to choose the right one, how to check to see if it’s printed right—which she figured out fast enough.

But then she started asking more questions. Specific ones, about ink and rate exchanges and paper size and things that were just wholly unnecessary to print and assignment. I think she even asked me about one of her math assignments, honestly.

I didn’t know the answers. I tried to tell her what I could, but she was disappointed with the efforts. She rolled her eyes and turned her nose at me. After her, I limped towards the stairs. The water clinging to my clothes stunk way too much to take the elevator, apparently.

Except then an alert came over the speakers. I remember very little of it, but this is what I’d written down:

“Unless you are one of the scheduled five, you have five minutes to be in your dorms. Anyone not in their dorms will be taken to the infirmary inspection. If you are injured, you will be healed by Joe. If you are chosen to be healed by Joe, you will not look at him. If you look at him, you will die.”

If it wasn’t from a dream, I’d say this announcement gave away too much of the plot and was too stiff to be kept in a story. But that’s what it said. Or at least what I remember it saying.

Narratively stilted or not, I didn’t take it lightly. Despite my ankle, I began sprinting up the stairs, the winding, winding stairs. I didn’t really know what Joe was, but I didn’t want to find out. What I’d heard was already enough. If only that girl hadn’t asked for my help. If only I hadn’t tried to fix that grate.

I hobbled past a few soulless looking boys as I reached my floor. They looked beat up in the face, and had bloody knuckles—I knew them to be fighting earlier, even if it I hadn’t seen it. They don’t watch me go. They don’t stand when the alert repeats itself.

When I did get to my floor, it was already too late.

One of the scheduled five was there before me.

It… it was like a length of gut. Bright, nearly hot pink red, wet and oozy, wrapped around his neck, though from that point of contact it was clearly puppeting the rest of him as it did it’s rounds. The body hovered in front of each door, which would rattle like there was a localized earthquake on its hinges. None of the doors failed, and it continued onto the next one, puppeted boy floating limply in the air like a hung man.

I tried to sprint to my dorm. I’m too slow. It took me.

I am in the mortuary now. It’s meant to be the infirmary, like the alert had promised, but I know it to be the mortuary. I am below everything else I’ve ever known. The ceiling is high here as well, but only filled a fourth of the way up with a complex of tubes.

Almost like a McDonald’s playplace, funnily enough. I am in the tubes, though. On my back. Rolled on rollers like a package. They move me through them like I am to be digested. I’m cleaned. In the next set, I am inspected, even though there’s nothing in here to inspect me.

I’m moved on. There is a fork.

I am sent to the right.

I know, deep in my heart, that I am going to see Joe.

Joe is different from the rest of the brightly colored tubes. He is in the middle. He is made of a black, puffed out material—like a trash bag, blown up with air. It undulates as people pass through it. As I am rolled towards it, there are clear plastic circles for me to see out of.

I watch a section of Joe trash and twist in on itself, and then blow back up. Someone looked.

As I am moved past the windows, I close my eyes. Darkness presses in on my lids, and then is replaced by clear light, but I don’t fall for it, and don’t open my eyes. The rolls stop, but I don’t stop moving.

More lights flicker. Like someone has gone nuts on the switch, it begs me to open them, to open them wide, even as I feel someone other happening to me. But I don’t dare open them.

Until I do. Right at the end.

Just for one moment, I look out from between Joe and the man made tubes. I don’t look at him. At least, I don’t think I do.

And that’s where my memory ends, and where my notes app that night ends as well.

I don’t really know what this dream means.

But there is a new building being put up near me. The design is tacked up on the fence around it—it’s a tall, tall building. Lots of glass.

I wonder if it’ll be a school.

[neuroborreliosis]

2.3.2024

friends fall by the wayside but we don't want to let them go, lest some precipice open its lip and swallow them whole.

what to do with all the feelings that come up? how to write them before they are dampened?

how to write about feelings when you're so accustomed to big feelings that they don't even feel so big anymore?

i haven't written an update in the better part of a week. i've been crocheting a lot, mostly. i'm making a shrug for myself, with big flared sleeves. it's coming along - the neck/chest is complete, and i'm almost done with one whole sleeve. then i gotta crochet the next sleeve and it'll be complete.

i've also been depresso sauce. i guess. not anything sensational, just the afternoon doomies reaching down from gray skies to wrap around me.

i think it's from the antibiotics. but maybe it's from lack of sunlight. but i'm taking vitamin d! maybe it's from being alone in this big house for hours while dillon and jules work all day. maybe it's from having the energy sucked out of me by spirochetes.

i don't know what to say. i gotta say something. i'm here. i'm shitting regularly again, at least. i ate a burger two nights ago, and salmon last night, after going too long without a good hunk of meat. i felt so weak. i feel a little less feeble since i got some boosts of protein.

my one friend in particular, whose name i won't mention (i don't want to put his shit on blast) is going through it. he always is. he has been for several years. we met at my third high school, city-as, the one i actually graduated from. we had a class together and sat next to each other and found out that both of us were really into film and wanted to make movies. we swapped movie recs, we talked about cinematography. he was also a talented photographer of all things very nyc. all of us city-as homies used to go to what we called "thirsty thursdays" at the galleries in chelsea. the school was in the west village. after school on thursdays, like clockwork, we'd trek up to chelsea and go to free gallery openings, where we'd look at the art and get drunk off of free wine and beer that they served at these things. it was awesome. sometimes, we'd sneak into gallery stairwells to smoke weed. sometimes we'd walk the couple blocks to riverside park to light up. either way, this was definitely a highlight every week. this friend of mine, he would come. and later, after we'd all graduated, he actually had a show there! his debut photography exhibit. this kid could go places. he had something, a special kind of sight, that he gave us all through his photographs. he's still around, but for the last several years, pretty much since high school (almost ten years ago, jesus! i feel old) he's been dealing with dope addiction. he can't afford a phone, hasn't been able to for years, but we keep in touch over instagram, which he sometimes gets to access on other people's phones, and he calls me every so often from random numbers. he usually is asking for money. i throw down, because i love this kid. i want him to be safe and i don't want him to have to do sex work for money because i know for a fact that he hates it. anyway, he called me last week for money. i told him i could send him a few bucks, but that i'm broke and what money i do have came from my gofundme and it's set aside exclusively to be used for lyme disease treatment.

i dunno why i felt the need to write about this. maybe because i'm just sad. i'm sad for him, for the loss of his father to suicide, for his dreams and his brilliance shelved. i know what it's like to be deep in addiction, and it hurts so goddamned much to know all i can do is be here for him. it hurts so much to know that i can't make things easier, that i can't make him want to stop using. i just hope he keeps up with his art - he's also a brilliant writer, by the way - and that he finds a way to keep at it and share it with the world. and i hope he stays safe and warm and out of harm's way.

[dredshirtroberts]

scrolling through tumblr and reblogging, find something off of one of my sideblogs i wanna share on my main or someone else blogged to the sideblog *reblogs/likes to read later*

*a notification appears*

Oh! A notification I wonder-

Ah...

‘Tis I. The Frenchiest Fry.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 303

so i had a dream featuring this dude a little while ago and i figured the night before halloween is a good time to draw him! dream description and uncensored Full Gore version under the cut

SO I was taking some sort of continuing education class at a local high school. And as I walked out of the building, I saw off to the side a stairwell descending into the earth. Looking at it dead-on, it distorted, like it didn't quite want to be perceived. But when you stepped on it, it solidified. So I started down.

The stairwell had occasional landings, but they never lead anywhere, and the stairs just seemed to continue down endlessly. A few landings down, I came across this guy. He was in the middle of some sort of ritual? And when I interrupted him he started cussing me out. He was livid, and he started chasing me, hurling these flaming motes of magical energy at me, absolutely trying to kill me as I fled back up the stairs.

But once I got to the surface again, it was clear he didn't want to leave the stairwell himself, so he let me go, and returned to his work. So I went about my business and later, I met up with my Dad, who had attended this particular high school as a teen. I asked about the endless staircase, and he very nonchalantly said, "Oh, yeah the endless staircase. Did you run into the cat skull guy? Yeah, he's always doing some kind of ritual. HATES being interrupted. He's not so bad if you can catch him on a day off or whatever, but he doesn't seem to have many of those. Those days though he'll just lecture you to go home instead of trying to kill you. Back in my day kids would always dare each other to steal shit from him."

Anyway. I'm just kind of obsessed with the idea of a community just fully accepting the presence of not only an endless horror stairwell, but the presence of this guy with a cat skull for a head and intestines that MAY or may not be his own spilling out of his cloak (you know how it is with spaghetti, etc) doing his dark rituals and trying to kill people. Very Night Vale.

[jessikahathaway]

Ambrosia - Prologue

Park Jimin (Aphrodite) X Reader

Genre: GreekGod!AU, Genderbent Aphrodite!AU, Romance, Fluff, Angst, Slow Burn and Smut (Future)

Warnings: Mentions of terminal illness, Jimin in a SUIT, Namjoon being a lil nosy, profanity (if I forgot anything please let me know!)

Words: 3.1k (YA GIRL PROCRASTINATED TOO LONG AND DIDN'T GET THE FULL CHAPTER DONE SO WE'RE DOING A PROLOGUE. K? K.)

Summary: Cast out of Olympus with the task to find his one true love, Aphrodite is certain his match will come to him. But as the years drag on, what happens when the God of Love, gives up?

Days in a flower shop in the middle of a decent sized town can pass by fast or slow. There can be days with what feels like hundreds of orders coming through the tiny store, and then there are the days where the employees just wind up looking at their phones the whole time and not one soul passes through the door.

But on special days, all it takes is one person to walk through those doors and everything changes.

This is a story of one of those days.

--

Tuesdays could seriously go fuck off for all you cared. This particular Tuesday was proving to be a test on every ounce of your patience and every single time you heard that door bell ring as the gates of hell opened, your shoulders sagged a little more. Something about their flowers wasn’t right. The blue wasn’t like the sky but like the sea and that’s an issue. The flowers look wilted. Always something.

But, like you did every day you turned to the customer and gave them a huge smile, ready to help them with whatever they needed. Even if it meant losing your sanity little by little.

The day passed this way, going on and the clock didn’t seem to be moving at your desired pace. So, you sat on the chair behind the desk at the front and gazed out the window.

It was a warmer spring day.

The trees were budding and life was returning after a long winter. You loved this time of the year. Everything becoming new again, alive and welcoming. But, it also means more work for you. It’s never been a problem, but this past year has been particularly hard.

Your younger sister passed away.

She’d been fighting a long illness, one with a poor prognosis. At a young age you and Sana were placed in the foster system, living with a decent enough upbringing. The foster parents were never mean or cruel, but they weren’t your parents. Whom you barely remembered now. So when you turned eighteen you asked if you could become her legal guardian. Your foster parents had agreed, wishing you and her the best of luck...

But luck had never been on you or your sister’s side.

Her illness started to rapidly progress, causing more and more doctor’s visits and more money being pulled from your measly savings. It wasn’t enough. You were having to take out loans and everything just to keep the lights on in your apartment.

Sana, however, kept her spirits high no matter the situation. She was the positive one. The bright one that everyone gravitated towards in school. She was your light. And now your life is duller. Your sister loved to go through the streets in her wheelchair, looking at the budding leaves and flowers that were growing on the trees.

“Look Y/N!” she’d squeak. “They’re so beautiful. I want to open a flower shop, and I’m going to sell the most beautiful flowers to people.”

As her birthday present you decided to open the flower shop.

It was her last one.

Looking out at the spring blooming in front of you it was hard to be happy, knowing how much your sweet Sana would’ve loved it. Life often wasn’t fair, but you hadn’t expected it to be so. You weren’t a bad person, but bad things had happened. But you were alive, and had a life to keep living.

As much as the flower shop was Sana’s dream, you couldn’t sell it when she died. It had become your safe haven. A little place to call your own. Even if it was Sana’s dream, you had made it real. Real enough for the both of you, and now you gotta keep it going. Even if the loan to open it made your wallet want to cry, it was enough. Plenty.

Because it was yours.

A single tear fell down your cheek as you thought of your beloved sister, and her cute cheeks and beautiful eyes that never held an ounce of fear or regret. A few petals fell from the blossoming tree outside in the wind and fell to the ground in a swirl of pastel hues that made you smile.

More tears moved down your cheeks and you wiped them away in frustration. She wouldn’t want you to be upset, she’d want you to be happy and to continue with your life. Keep going and make something of yourself.

Sana used to say that you were always Y/N the big sister and never just... Y/N. And you knew it was true. You were supposed to take care of her, but now that she’s gone... T-There was no one to care for but yourself.

You’d have to be enough.

Suddenly, the bell above your door ran proudly, making your teary eyes refocus on the person entering the store. Those tears were quickly replaced with a look of wonder.

A man walked through the door, head held high and his eyes scanned the area like he was inspecting it. Wiping your already sweaty palms on your apron you approached him with a gentle smile.

“Welcome to Sana’s flowers, how can I assist you?” you asked, coming towards him. The man took in your appearance and a calm expression steeled over his face.

“Hi, are you Sana?” he asked, referring to the name.

“No, Sana was my sister,” you said, swallowing hard. The man seemed to understand.

“I apologize, I didn’t mean to impose,” he said, bowing lightly.

“You’re fine, no worries. How can I help you?” you asked, looking at his apparel.

He was dressed in a fine suit, tailored to his every inch, must’ve been expensive as hell. You could probably open a whole new section of your shop with the money he was dripping in.

You weren’t known for having an upper class clientele, not that the occasional businessman came in and asked for a bouquet of your finest flowers. Sometimes two... Shaking your head you focused on the man in front of you as best as you could. But, his features were so striking it was hard to keep your eyes from wander...

“Park Jimin,” he introduced, holding his hand out politely.

“Y/N,” you said, extending your own hand and taking his in yours. Shaking gently he gave a smile that could rival the very stars in the sky. This man was more breathtaking the longer you looked, making your palms start to sweat even more.

“A pleasure, Y/N,” he said. “I’m having an event to celebrate my family's company. It’s the 125 year of it’s business and we are looking to source from the local populace instead of corporations to provide a more intimate setting for the investors and other members of the company,” Jimin said, rambling off a lot of information for your sleep deprived brain.

“I see, so you’re looking for floral arrangements?” You asked, heading towards your book of options. Jimin followed you over, leaning towards you so close you could smell his cologne. A spicy scent that wasn’t overpowering but more... alluring? Inviting?

Shaking your head you pulled up your options of centerpieces and the like, showing him what styles you had available and Jimin paid close attention to each set. Asking questions about what flowers would look good in what vases and if they did better in foam or water.

“For events I prefer the foam personally. Less likelihood of someone knocking a vase over and water getting everywhere. But the flowers are more mobile in the water, so it’s about what you’re looking for in regards to the feel,” you said.

Jimin seemed to weigh his options for a moment. “I like the traditional styles you showed me. The simple little flowers decorating around the larger arrangements, it looks classy and provides the color I’m looking for,” he said, nodding.

Making a note you grabbed a notepad to start writing all the information down.

“So when is your event? A month, two?” You said, throwing out a few different times.

“Two weeks,” he said. You froze, swallowing hard.

“Ah, I see,” you said, biting your lip.

“Is that a problem?” He asked, looking up at your pained expression.

“It’s just, the flowers might take a minute to get here. And I arrange everything by hand, so it takes me a little longer. How many tables were you going to have and the garlands for the stairways as well?” You asked.

“Well as for tables I have 150 dinner tables, 50 cocktail tables and 8 large banquet tables. There are two main stairwells that wrap around to the main area so there will be about 400ft worth of garland necessary,” he calculated slowly.

“Okay,” you said, rubbing your temples slowly.

“How many people do you have on your payroll?” He asked, looking around and noticing the empty space.

“Just me. My friend Namjoon likes to come and help sometimes but he’s a full time nurse so,” you shrugged.

“Would you be able to do this in two weeks with just by yourself?” He asked, raising a brow.

“I can always try,” you said, giving a gentle smile.

“How much would it cost?” He asked.

“Depends on the flowers you want, you already picked the style so one second,” you said, grabbing your calculator and running the numbers really quick. “I can do expedited shipping on the flowers to get them here faster but then you run the risk of stems getting broken and not having enough. But I can order more to compensate but then that’s more money,” you said.

Finally you had a total and you frowned.

“It would be around $2,156 if we did the expedited shipping and ordered more flowers to compensate for the potential broken ones,” you said, biting your lip. That was a lot of money to spend on flowers for a simple dinner event. You knew it, but with everything he wanted and the time frame it was the best you could do... You didn’t even charge him for the probability of Namjoon helping. Because then it would jump up to the 3,000 dollar mark and you weren’t going to push your luck.

After a few moments, Jimin pulled out his checkbook and started writing the check out. Your eyes bulged when he pushed the piece of paper towards you, his pen clicking with a sense of finality.

“What kind of flowers should we get?” He said, a smile on his face. You looked down and almost flung the check right back at him.

$5,500

This man had just dropped over five thousand dollars without blinking.

“Th-This is too much,” you said, trying to push it back towards him.

“You charged me for base flowers, and it’s super short notice. Take the extra as a tip,” he smiled.

“I-I can’t accept over two thousand dollars as a tip. If I get audited I’ll be screwed,” you said.

“No you won’t, it’ll be fine. Please, take it,” he encouraged, placing the check back in front of you.

You swallowed thickly, trying to keep yourself from panicking. You did have a large loan payment coming up, and this would lessen that blow significantly...

But wasn’t it wrong?

“Alright...” you trailed off, taking the check and stamping it before putting it in your deposit bag.

“What type of flowers do you recommend using?” He asked, looking at you with a gentle gleam in his bright eyes.

“Peonies and hydrangeas are a great combo with complementary color palettes. I always love doing grass pieces as a nice natural moment but, baby's breath is a classic and more traditional if that’s what you’re looking for,” you said.

“Can we do the soft blue hydrangeas and white peonies?” He asked, looking at the sample photos you had.

“Yes, the white peonies would bring a nice fullness and the hydrangeas can add the color,” you explained.

“Perfect, let’s do that then,” he said, nodding.

“Okay! I’ll get the order to go in and get the expedited shipping and we should get them by the end of the week. They’ll go into the fridge and that should help keep them fresh,” you said.

“Here.”

You turned around to see a small card placed on the table in front of you.

“What’s this?” You asked, lifting the small thing to your eyes.

“My number,” he said, grinning. “Message me when the flowers come in.”

“O-Okay, absolutely!”

Jimin smiled then, a bright dazzle expression that had your mouth drying in longing.

“I look forward to hearing from you, Y/N,” he said.

“I look forward to it as well, Mr. Park,” you said politely. Jimin tutted and shook his head.

“No, Jimin will do just fine. Have a great day Y/N,” he waved, turning on his heel and heading out the door.

You looked at the numbers and sighed.

God you were so fucked.

—

“So, let me get this straight,” Namjoon said over the phone. “Hot guy in a suit comes in and orders a fuck ton of flowers you know you can’t do yourself and you agree because he dropped an extra few grand in the check? Y/N! You can’t do that, I’ll only be able to help you arrange the bouquets the day of. So you’ll have to put them all together yourself! When will you sleep? Eat? Poop!?!” He yelped.

“Firstly, my bowel movements are none of your concern,” you stated. “And second of all, I can’t refuse that kind of money! The next loan payment is going to fuck me over if I don’t have this padding. Please Joonie, tell me you can help me at least the night before,” you pleaded.

“I really can't Y/N, I’m working night rotation. So, I could maybe stop by in the morning but then the flowers have to sit longer,” he reasoned.

“Yeah I know... Can you switch?” You said, a soft voice replacing your whining.

“I wish I could, but there’s hardly any staff that night as it is. And we’re all pulling hours we don’t like. I can’t ask them to do more. Poor Taehyung has already covered me this month and I would rather throw myself in front of a car than ask again,” he said.

“I’m sorry. I know you’re busy and I’m desperate, but... I’ll figure it out,” you said, rubbing your face in exhaustion.

“What kind of asshat doesn’t come in until last minute to order a huge ass amount of floral arrangements?” Namjoon asked.

“An asshat named Park Jimin apparently,” you said, twisting the stem of a flower in front of you.

“You-You mean the Park Jimin?” Namjoon stuttered.

“I don’t know how many of them there are, Namjoon. I just know what this one looked like,” you said.

“Doesn’t he have like, neon pink hair or something?” He asked.

“Um, no? It was blonde-ish when he was in here,” you said.

“Plump lips?”

“Yeah?”

“Eyes that command the panties of women to drop?” He asked.

“Sir, my panties stayed firmly in place so I don’t know what the fuck you’re on about,” you huffed.

“For now, Y/N, for now. Anyways,” he said dismissively. “If this is the Park Jimin we’re talking about you need to be very careful.”

“What? What are you talking about,” you whispered.

“He’s like a sex God or something. He’s got game better than Jordan, okay? But he never commits to anyone,” he said, seriously.

You rolled your eyes, even though the man couldn’t see you.

“My heart isn’t in danger here, Namjoon. We’ll be fine. I can handle an attractive businessman,” you said.

“Yeah, but can your cum thirsty twat handle it?”

“Sir, I’m gonna hang up,” you warned.

“As a nurse I demand to know the last time you got laid,” he said. “It’s for you health of course.”

“That should be a HIPPA violation,” you complained.

“Yeah, not a friendship violation though. Tell me when was the last time you were left boneless between the sheets my guy,” he said.

“I don’t see how this has to do with floral arrangements,” you sighed. “But since your bitch ass needs to know it was about a year ago.”

“Well, maybe it is time to get back in the ring,” he reasoned.

“Namjoon, there’s no need to get me a suitor. You’re not my dad trying to get another cow on the farm or something,” you joked.

“Do you think Park Jimin would give me a cow if I gave him you?” He asked, sounding too serious for your liking.

“I’m really gonna hang up now,” you said, pulling your phone away from your face.

“Just, be safe Y/N! Don’t work too hard, I love you!” You heard screamed from the receiver.

“Yeah love you too Joonbug,” you said, hanging up and looking at the clock. The numbers glared back at you like they were judging you for being up this late. But you simply shrugged and went and took a much needed shower.

That man had you sweating like a sinner in church.

As you bathed you tried to think of your next plan of attack, but the water was too warm and soon you found yourself relaxing into the stream happily. Once you were done you cracked open a can of beer and sat down in your living room ready to start the night right, when a message floated across your screen.

Joonbug: IS THIS THE CULPRIT?!? Jpg.1013

You stared at the screen with an unamused face, but picked up your device anyway. Namjoon had sent you the picture and you could tell the fucker picked the first one off of google images like the lame hoe he was, but you looked regardless.

And, surprisingly, it was him.

The cherubic cheeks and wide smile, bright eyes and an alluring body. You sighed and texted him back.

Y/N: Yea, that’s him.

Joonbug: OH REAAALLLLYYYY???

Y/N: I hate you so much.

Joonbug: You can’t resist. THIS.

Y/N: I’ve resisted your rat poison for years, I think I got it.

Joonbug: EXcUSE MEEEE??? I am at least some kind of like, sexy poison???

Y/N: I’m dying either way, why do I care if it’s sexy or not?

Joonbug: :((((((

You left the conversation at that, but your mind began to wander. How were you going to finish this order and not embarrass yourself in front of a multimillionaire?

Maybe you bit off more than you can chew...

[invincible-selfxmade-punk]

Dreams

Last night I dreamed I was back working at the mall. It was the day before Christmas Eve and somehow I had been called into work after not having been there in years & expected just pick things up and know what to do.

There should have been three people working but there was just me and I was completely overwhelmed.

The mall was closing so I closed out the cash register but the customers kept coming.

Finally I was trying to take their orders and give them change without ringing anything up and I was starting to get confused as to what I had sold and what I hadn't.

It was Pitch Black outside and I had no idea when I was ever coming home with the customers still kept coming.

We should have been running out of stuff but we weren't it was just constantly selling.

Then I had this crazy dream that started out at school when I was carrying something that was almost like a kayak up a bunch of stairs. I was having a lot of trouble and I looked over and the football team was watching me and Chris was on the football team and I wanted to ask him for help so bad but I couldn't.

Then I was inside on a Stairway but every time I tried to take a step the stairs got farther and farther apart and then suddenly I was afraid of moving because of it. I sent someone to cover my class and ended up not showing up for class at all because I could not get out of the stairwell.

Then the dream change again and my husband and I were visiting this lesbian Temple had just had a baby and they had this high-tech Gadget that changed the baby's appearance depending on who is in the room. So if someone came in that they didn't like they could change the baby's parents and the people wouldn't know what the baby looked like.

Then suddenly the Joker from Batman came in and stole the baby and me and my husband took off after the Joker.

Good I find myself in that stairway again where I was afraid to climb either up or down the stairs. I looked out the window and the Joker was leaving in an ice cream truck with the baby.

Then suddenly every time I thought I was at the top of the stairs it led me to like this other stairway and on every stair Landing are every floor that I went on there was several kind of orgy going on.

I kept telling my husband I don't want to join in I just want to watch(!!!). One of the orgies involved a dark hair wrestler that looked a lot like Matt Hardy or maybe a cross between Menards and I will certainly paying attention to that one.

We never did get the baby back.

[thran-duils]

Was Ich Liebe (P.1)

Title: Was Ich Liebe (Part One) Summary: Fem!Reader x Dark!Tony Stark.  Tony becomes enamored with a stripper at a club his hedonistic friend Thor owns. A casual sexual relationship quickly becomes possessive and the reader sees more of the underground mafia life than she would like to. The cherry on top is that Tony is married and so is she. Him to a woman who has no intention of losing her throne at any cost and the reader to a deadbeat alcoholic. Feeling trapped by both her previous life and the suffocating hold Tony is trying to put on her, the reader steals away in the night, which is not going to go over well. Words: 4,301 Warnings (for whole fic, more may be added): Dub-con, smut, infidelity, stripping, vaginal fingering, public sex, possessive behavior, angst, degradation kink, violence, physical abuse, domestic violence, language, drug use, alcoholism, death Author’s Note: I did not have the ability to do a one shot. As usual, this is 18+.

Intro || Part Two || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

Your legs and core were burning as you ended your routine to “Walk” by Pantera. You slowly slid down the pole as it was coming to an end, ending in a deep squat at the end, ass towards the crowd.

Turning back against the lights shining at you, you crawled on your knees seductively taking bills being held out and swiping up ones that had been tossed.

The tips were good tonight. You swiped your top from the ground you had thrown off halfway through much to the pleasure of the crowd, showing off your glow in the dark skull hand pasties. Happy autumn. And you walked off, holding your cash and looking forward to switching back to six inch heels to walk around now that your set was over.

Fixing your winged eyeliner, you spotted Thor coming in through the door to the dressing room. Everyone straightened up at his presence. He came straight over to you though. “Perle room, Y/N.”

That was a private customer room. It was easier being on the stage because you were blinded from the crowd for a lot of it with the lights. One on one was harder to dissociate since they were the only other soul in the room.

“You’re picking the songs. He paid for three.”

That was always a gamble; depending on what genre the customer liked, it could go up or down hill really quick.

Thor leaned in close and whispered in your ear, “And he’s a friend of mine, so behave, you hear? Make sure he leaves satisfied. He loves ass so grind, yeah?”

A friend of his was shady no doubt. But you nodded, making eye contact through the mirror. Thor smirked before planting a kiss on your temple.

“Good set by the way.”

“Thank you,” you said as he straightened up and turned to leave you.

Shit. That meant you needed to change. Which is why you always brought an extra set of lingerie. You went to your locker and pulled out the black set.

<><><>

Since it was going to be more intimate, you chose “Was Ich Liebe” by Rammstein to start. It would allow a lot of grinding.

When you walked in, he was already sitting on the opposite of the dark room in the black light. Even in the darkness, you recognized the man. It was not hard to do so with his high standing in the mob.

Tony Stark.

He was to be treated like a high-ranking customer and you were doing to do that.

You started on the pole, circling slowly before climbing and hooking your leg to spin controlled around.

Sliding down, you crawled on all fours to him, pulling yourself up by holding onto his knees that were already spread in anticipation of you. Turning around you ground your ass into his pelvis. Leaning back your face brushed his.

“What’s your name?” he breathed into your ear. You told him your fake name and his lips tugged up at the corner briefly. “You’re real name, sweetheart.”

“That is my real name.”

He chuckled, his nose nuzzling into your neck. “If you insist so, sweetheart.”

You fell into the music, alternating between him and the pole. Your second song started, “Problem” by Natalia Kills.

You moved back to his lap. His hands ran up and down your thighs as you grinded. Which was okay until his fingers slipped past your thong, cupping your sex as you ground into him. You lost rhythm with your lap dance and his breath was hot at your ear. “Just like that, keep going. You are doing beautifully.”

Men getting handsy in the private rooms was not unusual. Especially not ones who paid like he had but you workers knew to dispel it as much as possible. Do not let them get too bold.

You had to be crafty about how you maneuvered out of the situation though. He was Thor’s friend and you knew he was powerful. You resumed grinding, and his nose brushed your neck, inhaling deeply. His fingers threatened to push in and you reacted quickly. You moved out of his lap to dip down in your dancing, forcing his hand away. You were still doing what Thor wanted, giving him a good show. Your hands gripping your ankles, you moved your ass in rhythm with the song.

Tony was not going to be deterred though. Gripping your hips firmly, he pulled you back into his lap with a rough tug. He forced your legs open again and his hand was snaking past your panties again.

As the song sang about claiming your body, Tony’s fingers slid into your pussy and you jumped away from his embrace. You stood a couple feet away, holding your arms tightly around yourself. He was frozen, looking at you expectantly.

“You… you’re not supposed to touch us. It’s against the rules,” you told him, keeping the tremor out of your voice miraculously. You knew what trouble could come from denying a man like him.

Tony brought his fingers to his mouth and sucked them off slowly, tasting you. Your heart was hammering with the intense stare off he was having with you. He was handsome as all hell, but you knew he was the type of dangerous you should not have in your life.

He finally shrugged. “Noted. My apologies. I’ll behave, scouts honor.”

He beckoned you back with two fingers.

You swallowed your unease and came back, resuming. He kept his hands off of you like he vowed he was going to. Still, you spent a lot of the time on the pole during your final song “Inertia Creeps” by Massive Attack.

At the end, Tony stood up and he came up to you at the pole. You looked up at him with curiosity; men usually did not move when you left the room.

He smiled devilishly down at you and held out a couple of folded hundreds. He was giving you $200 in tips? Your eyes widened and he forced them into your hand.

Before you could react, he leaned in and caught your mouth. His lips were soft but his force was rough. You were dazed when he pulled away. He winked at you.

“I’ll be seeing you again soon, sweetheart. Thanks for the sweet dreams.”

<><><>

Next weekend you were called to the Perle room again. And again, you found Tony there. He chose the set list this time and had you starting out with “Dissolved Girl�� by Massive Attack. He had enjoyed the other song so much, he wanted to see you perform more of the album in front of him.

“I’ve tried to stop thinking about you. It hasn’t worked.”

His hands came up, caressing your breasts. You turned your head and his hands loosened. He laughed, nipping at your ear.

“Right, right. The rules. Darling, do you know how hard it is to remember those around you?”

“I’ve heard that before. It doesn’t make the rules any less real,” you returned, pulling away from his embrace and sashaying back to the pole.

He was watching you hungrily as you worked yourself around the pole. There was a storm brewing in his eyes.

“How would you like to make some money outside this club?”

Dipping low, you met his eyes and saw he was serious.

“If you’re asking me to fuck you, I’m married.”

That was information you rarely gave out. But Tony seemed the type of man you needed to put a hard wall up with.

Tony gave you a wide grin. “No, not fucking. Just fun. I wanna have a night out. I just want company.”

Some of the girls did escort work like that. And since it was outside the club you got to keep everything, no tax was taking off the top. And your electricity bill was going to be higher next month since winter was coming.

You did not answer him immediately, rolling the idea around. Knees spread on the ground, dancing, you met his eyes again. He was still waiting for an answer.

Getting back up sultrily, you came to sit back in his lap. He hummed in approval as you said, “Sure. Where we going?”

<><><>

“Going to whore yourself out again?” Michael asked, his words already slurring.

You were wearing a peacoat coat over your dress but he could still it was short. He disapproved of you stripping but he always backtracked when you were able to pay the bills. And more so, bring him his favorite bottle of liquor every other night. Especially since he rarely brought any money in himself. You felt an obligation to him since you had been high school sweethearts.

“For your information, no. I’m going out with friends.”

A white lie.

“What friends? Your co-hooker friends? Glad you keep such great company. A bunch of pathetic bitches just like you, starving for validation…”

“No. Well-paying friends who want my company,” you spat without thinking, angry he was always putting you down.

He got up out of his chair and you moved quickly. The last time he had laid hands on you, you had to take a week off of work and Thor had been pissed.

Your hand was on the door handle, and you had it opened quick. He stumbled and that gave you enough time to get the door closed and move down the hallway. The elevator was not an option cause it was too slow and you took the stairwell, not missing him yelling expletives at you.

He would be passed out well before you got home.

<><><>

Your dress clung tight to your body. You looked around the restaurant, worrying that you were going to be stood up. You had been here for twenty minutes and had ordered a glass of wine.

You were halfway through it without a sign of him. This place was five star, and you did not want to do a walk of shame.

Thankfully for you, Tony sauntered in five minutes later and he slid into the booth across from you, adjusting his jacket as he did. Leaning back against the booth, he threw his arm across the back of it, relaxing back, looking at you. You had chosen the seat across the table.

“You’re punctual. That’s new.”

“Was I not supposed to be?”

“Darling. I never am. Next time let’s ride together. Reservations for 7? I’m here at 7:30 at best and they know to keep the table for me.”

The first date had not even started, and he was already talking about the next.

He suddenly noticed you had a chair and as the waiter approached. He gestured at you and said, “What’s this chair doing here? Is there supposed to be more people than can fit on this booth?”

“Uh, no, Mr. Stark. It was just put there in case someone wanted it—"

“Do you want it?” Tony asked you, interrupting.

You knew the answer he wanted. Calmly, you stood up and moved around the table to sit right up next to him. His hand lying across the back of the booth caressed your shoulder.

“No, here is fine,” you said.

“That’s what I thought. Now, let’s get you something delectable to eat to match how I know you taste. Top notch deserves the same in return.”

He winked salaciously and you blushed. This off-limits escorting was not going to last long; you could sense that. He was not a man that would be satiated with just a taste. He wanted the whole course.

And that whole course was you spread out for him whenever he so pleased.

<><><>

On the fourth date, he took the plunge.

His town car took the opposite way from your turn, and you looked at him.

“Where are we going?”

“Somewhere where we can enjoy each other fully.”

You opened your mouth, but Tony held a finger up to your lips, winking. There was a sinister feeling behind that wink, and you closed your lips. He smiled in approval, “You’re so well behaved, sweetheart. You’re going to be a lot of fun.”

At the hotel room, legs spread wide, Tony’s large hands held you at your waist as he drove up into you hard and quick. He was not a gentle lover.

He rocked forward quickly and in one fell swoop had managed to maneuver you to pull you with him and you ended up on top. Lining himself back up with your entrance, he plummeted back in, resuming his unforgiving pace. You cried as he held your arms tight, keeping you in place to use like his own personal toy. You were an object to him that he wanted to possess.

<><><>

Leg crossed over the other, relaxing back in the armchair, Tony demanded, “What’s her name?”

Thor told Tony your fake name without missing a beat as he worked across the desk. Tony had come here for answers and Thor would be hard pressed to give them away completely.

Tony stared at him across the table unimpressed and Thor stopped typing, noticing. He simpered, “Tony, it’s for her safety.”

“Are you afraid for her? Because of me?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because her husband is a real piece of work.” He noticed the look on shocked Tony’s face, and he said, “Yeah, she wasn’t lying about that. I’m assuming she told you she was married. He might be a deadbeat, but he knows how to load a punch. If he found out she was doing more than dancing, I would be afraid for her. He’s already made her miss a couple weeks of work because of his Rambo fists when he’s gotten riled up just about the dancing. Which makes no sense to me because he barely brings money in, and she is essentially the sole breadwinner.”

Tony cocked an eyebrow. “And you want her to stay with that?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Seems like you did.”

Thor snorted, “No, I just know what lengths you are willing to go to get your way. And I’m not sure I want you taking this on. As your friend. It’s advice.”

“It won’t be hard. I want her, so it’ll be worth the effort,” Tony said.

<><><>

“It was nice,” you told Tony as you sat in the back of his town car when he asked you how you had enjoyed the night.

He had taken you to a high-end seafood restaurant on a large boat docked at the marina. You meant what you said; it was delicious.

“I thought you would like it,” Tony stated, scooting closer and an arm slipped around your shoulder, holding you closer.

He was staring into your eyes, and you smelled the bourbon on his breath. You no doubt reeked of alcohol yourself. There was something lurking beneath his gaze though. And you soon found out what.

“Y/N,” Tony murmured. You froze and he smiled at your shock. His fingers trailed up your arm and came to cup you under the chin. “That’s such a lovely name.”

Unable to stop yourself, you asked, “How…?”

“Money talks,” Tony informed you as his hand spread to hold you beneath the jaw, fingers trailing behind your ear. You tried to pull away but his arm around you held tight, stopping your movement. He smirked briefly, “I’m not here to hurt you, darling. Don’t ever think that. I just simply adore you. I wanted to know about you. I want to take this further.”

“Further than just the bed?”

“Yes. I want you entirely.”

His firm tone was sincere. What had you gotten yourself into?

He pressed the button, and the partition went up between the two of you and the front seat. His hand left your neck to snake up your dress. “I want to call you by your real name when I take you this time.” He kissed you roughly and his lips brushed yours as he vowed, “I’ll have you whenever and wherever.”

<><><>

Months later, you awoke in the king bed in the mountain top suite. Sneaking a peek at the bedside clock, you saw it was almost four in the morning. You needed to leave. Tossing a look at Tony, seeing he was still sleeping, you tried to unravel yourself from his embrace as gently as you could.

But it was futile.

Tony yanked you back to him as you tried to crawl out of the bed. You protested lightly and he shushed you by roughly rolling you towards him and pressing his lips to yours, growing in intensity as he woke from slumber. His leg wrapped around you, trapping you against him. His cock was already growing hard again after the short nap the two of you had taken after the last tussle in the sheets.

You tried to make space as you said, “You know if I’m going to get home the time I said I was going to, I have to leave now.”

You were hours from home. He had taken you up into the mountains for the last couple of days. You had said you were going on a work trip with your coworkers per your managers request to dance at a new club. Michael would never know. That is unless you came home at the wrong time; then he would start to get suspicious.

The last couple of days had been really nice. Tony had been kind… until tonight. He always treated you to the best and made sure you were well taken care of. But he had gotten… off when he noticed you tonight having taken a nice tone and smiled at a busboy as you dropped off dishes near the kitchen entrance that was out of your way. You had only been trying to be nice to the guy. You knew what it was like working customer service and you only wanted to make his job a little bit easier. And he was not hard on the eyes. Receiving small flirtations was harmless in your eyes and it boosted your mood. It had done just that for the guy.

But upon coming back to the room, Tony was callous, and you had to pry him out of his shell with sweet words and caresses. He had been condescending, asking you if you got off on pleasing men in front of him. When you had told him you did not know what he was talking about he had torn your dress down the front, ignoring your shocked cries at his brutal behavior, and forced you onto the bed. The tatters of the dress had been torn from you completely and he had done the same to your underwear and then forcibly removed your bra from you. He had not even waited for you to get wet before slamming up into you.

“Who gives a fuck what that good-for-nothing husband of yours thinks?” He nipped at your neck, sucking in roughly. His hands gripped and held you close.

“My face does,” you retorted, trying to unwind yourself from him. But Tony was quick, locking you back down. “Tony, please.”

You managed to unlock yourself despite his grabbing and you slid off the bed, hitting the ground, your ass hitting it roughly. He exhaled sharply, glaring down at you and you moved quickly backwards, getting to your feet unsteadily. He was already getting out of the bed, and you moved quickly, snatching up your bag. Your dress was ruined, which was no matter. You could return in your sweats and top.

Tony was on you though and his grip on your bag was tight and he yanked back, drawing you with it. You let go as you stumbled as to not lose your balance and face plant. He used his momentum to throw the bag across the room by the sliding glass door.

“Tony! Stop playing games!” you said desperately, trying to move towards where he threw it, but he stepped in your way. “You know I have to get ready! You can’t be jealous of him. You know what this is.”

“So what if I’m jealous?” Tony asked, continuing to advance towards you and you kept walking backwards. Your back hit the wall, stopping your advancement. “The thought of you with him makes me sick.”

“He’s my husband—"

Tony slammed his fist on the counter, and you jumped back against the wall, causing it to shake slightly. “Stop making fucking excuses! He’s a piece of shit and you know it! Why won’t you just accept me?”

“Tony, I do—” you tried to placate him.

“Don’t you lie to me,” he warned in a snarl. “If that were true, you would be loyal to me and me only. You know how I feel. I want you. Wholly.”

That was so unfair of him to say when you knew he was married. But you also knew better than to point that out. Not when he was this belligerent; you knew belligerent men were hardly able to be reckoned with and calmed down. No, you needed to use other facts.

“And you did, this whole weekend,” you pointed out in shaky tones.

Tony’s laugh was maniac, “’Weekend’. Yeah, that’s what I mean when I say wholly.”

You tried to dodge around him quickly to go towards your bag, but he jolted out and grabbed you around the waist, swinging you around. You kicked your legs as he dragged you. You bounced on the mattress, not fully on it but not fully off it either. You grabbed at the sheets to get leverage and you got grounded just as his hand closed around your ankle. You pulled away with ferocity, landing on the other side of the bed. Scrambling, you grabbed your bag. Tony’s arm came around you, pulling you back.

“Tony!” you cried out, your voice cracking. “Please stop!”

There was a sharp knock at the door and the two of you froze. Tony swore underneath his breath and let you go, causing you to stumble because you had been relying on him.

He snatched up his briefs and threw them on before storming towards the door as another knock came.

He opened the door a crack and sighed frustrated, “What?”

You heard Happy, “Uh, I was coming to get Y/N… it’s time to take her back? I went to bed super early so I would be ready to take her back now?”

You were relieved to hear someone with sense.

“Fuck!” Tony snapped, tossing the door open and you squeaked, still naked. You rushed towards the hall to grab your sweats and sweater out and throw those on.

When you emerged again, Happy was waiting by the door and Tony was necking the bottle of bourbon he had bought. He slammed it back down on the counter and glared at you. You went to go towards him to kiss him goodbye to try to start to smooth things over, but he held up his hand forcibly and you stopped. He took another swig without looking at you.

Hurt, you turned towards Happy, who was looking at Tony with scrutiny as well before following you out the door. You fell asleep on the car ride home and when you arrived back at your place, Tony still had not texted you.

<><><>

Clutching your duffel bag, you climbed the stairs a week later to your apartment. Tony had been clipped in his responses since Happy had taken you home. You were growing simultaneously frustrated and nervous with possessive, aggressive behavior.

Upon walking in, you saw the living room was upturned. Your blood chilled and you immediately dropped your bag, going for the switchblade in your front pocket of it. It was out as you grabbed your cell phone out of your bag.

Just as you were about to dial 911, Tony emerged from the hallway, holding up his hand. “Darling, it’s just me.”

Dropping the hand with your phone, you demanded, “’Just you’? What are you doing?”

Tony shrugged, “What I needed to do.”

You did not like the way that sounded at all. And then you noticed all the blood on his hands and on the wetness on his black jacket, which was no doubt more blood. Your hand clutched your switchblade tighter. Tony’s eyes dropped to it, and he looked back up at you.

“Sweetheart, there’s no need for that. It’s just me.”

“’Just you’? Where’s Michael?”

Tony rolled his eyes, annoyed. He turned his back and walked towards the kitchen. He flipped the switch on in there as he moved towards the sink. You moved to follow him and upon seeing more of the kitchen, you saw Carol and Rhodes were sitting at the table, having a drink.

“Where’s Michael?” you repeated.

Washing his hands in the sink now, without a care for the blood splattering, Tony told you, “I could have used a gun, but this was personal.”

The horror of what he was admitting without outright saying it was washing down on you. Your hand wavered, threatening to drop your switchblade.

“You…you…” you stammered; your chest was tight.

Tony continued rinsing the blood off of his hands, unbothered. He finished as you stood there frozen by your shock. Shaking his hands off, he wiped them on his black jeans and turned back to face you. As soon as he started to come close, you regained sense of self and your hand gripped tighter on your blade again.

Tony was not having any of that. He was quick and gripped your wrist tightly, twisting it so you cried out, dropping the blade. He held you up to the wall by your throat.

His word was law sinking around you, “No more excuses, Y/N. You’re all mine now.”

~~~

Song list to set the mood for me while writing:

Was Ich Liebe -- Rammstein Walk -- Pantera Problem -- Natalia Kills Inertia Creeps -- Massive Attack Dissolved Girl -- Massive Attack Just For Me -- Saint Jhn feat. Sza

Marvel tags: @coconutqueen21 @undecidedsworld @holl2712 @agustdowney  @biiskuitx

[topsytervy]

Good Night ~ Rafe Cameron

Ahaha I did a Part 3 to goodbye. It kind of got a little dicey at the end but it’s chill. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Blurb: You and Rafe go out for some drinks and I don’t know what else to say.

Word Count: 3,323

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, grammar/spelling mistakes, I think that’s it

~~~~~~

Rafe smiled as he unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in, closing the door behind him as he placed his keys in the little dish on the counter.

He walked further into his apartment, taking off his coat and placing it on the back of a chair before walking down the hall to his bedroom to change into pajamas. He flopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling as a smile crept onto his face. 

He let out a breathy laugh as he ran his hands over his face as he thought about his day with you in the car. It was a dream come true to have alone time with you after all these years. All he wanted was 5 minutes with you and he got 8 hours instead.

His phone vibrated on his nightstand and he reached over, grabbing it and unlocking it before his grin grew.

My plans for tomorrow fell through and I don't work the day after, so drinks tomorrow night?

Rafe looked up towards his ceiling. "I'm starting to think you exist, big guy." 

Yeah. I'll pick you up at 7?

I'll see you then.

Rafe set his phone back on the nightstand and positioned himself under the covers, closing his eyes as he thought about your conversation when he dropped you off.

Rafe held open the door to your apartment complex for you before walking in behind you.

"Thank you," you smiled as you began your journey up the stairs to your apartment.

Rafe stood at the bottom of the steps and pointed to the elevator. "Why are we not using the elevator?" He asked.

"I got stuck in one a few years back and I decided that I'm staying far away from those things for the rest of my life." You shrugged. Rafe chuckled lightly and took his first step up. You looked back at him with a grin. "Hope you plan on skipping leg day cause I'm up on floor six."

Rafe waved his hand, dismissing your sentence. "Please, this will be a cinch."

Halfway up, Rafe looked over at you as he heard the slight panting coming from you. His lips formed into a smirk as he spoke. "Are you okay over there?"

You nodded. "Peachy."

"Mhm,"

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." He shrugged.

You rolled your eyes as you two continued up the stairs, Rafe offering to carry you the rest of the way but you denied his offer. 

Rafe watched as you brought your tired feet up the last step, opening the door that separated the stairwell from the hallway of apartment doors.

You led the way to your apartment door and pulled out your key, shoving it into the lock. "Thanks for letting me ride with you. It was way better than the ride with Kie, JJ, and Pope." You glanced at him as you turned the key.

"It's no problem. I enjoyed the company." Rafe leaned against the wall, praying his voice wouldn't waver at his next sentence. "So, you wanna go out tomorrow night? Hit the town or whatever?"

Even though he knew that you two were on alright terms now, after all the car ride was filled with catching up and bad karaoke, there was still a part of his mind that was nervous. 

Nervous that you would tell him that, as fun as the last two days were, you couldn't see yourselves being more than civil acquaintances. Nervous that you'd say, 'yes, as long as the guy I've been seeing in secret for the past month can join us'. Nervous that you'd say 'let me check my schedule and I'll let you know’, but then ghost him.

Nervous that he would have to watch you walk out of his life again.

"I kind of already have a prior commitment to tomorrow," You told him before reaching into your bag and pulling out your phone, "but I'll let you know when I can squeeze in some time for you when I check my work schedule." You smiled as you extended your unlocked phone to Rafe.

"You promise?" Rafe asked as he hesitantly took your phone. 

This was the beginning of one of his scenarios he created in his mind and not one of the ones that ended with you two saying 'I do'.

You shot Rafe a look. "Rafe, you and I both know that I wouldn't be looking this calm and collected if I was lying to you. I'd be a stuttering, panicking mess."

Rafe chuckled lightly at the truthful statement of your terrible lying as he began putting in his number under his name before texting himself a ‘hi’ so he'd have your number. 

He handed your phone back to you with a grin. "To be fair, you were a stuttering, panicking mess when we first met, Y/N/N, and all you were saying was hello."

You blushed profusely at the memory of you being nervous as hell when you met Rafe for the first time and Rafe wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around you and tease you about the sudden redness on your cheeks like he used to do whenever you blushed.

But instead, he just added, "Don't worry. You were a cute stuttering, panicking mess," before he walked back towards the stairwell.

As Rafe slipped off into dreamland, you stayed awake, waiting for your kettle to go off so you could make your tea.

You grabbed your phone and unlocked it, Rafe’s contact staring back at you. You clicked edit and erased his name before typing out his new name.

Bub

You smiled slightly at the familiar nickname from years ago and hit save before opening Spotify. You went to click on your liked songs before remembering something from the car ride with Rafe and went to the search bar, typing in Rafe’s Spotify name that you still had memorized.

"You're music is so fucking basic, Rafe." You laughed as you once again listened to some random pop song that you had already heard way too many times on the radio.

Rafe shook his head. “My music is not basic. I just have different playlists with different genres. It’s called being organized Y/L/N.” He answered with a grin.

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow,

Rafe nodded. “Mhm. If I’m in the mood for rap, I have my rap playlist. If I want alternative, I have my alternative playlist. And so on.”

“Mind if I look through and choose one?” You asked. 

Rafe grabbed his phone from his hoodie pocket and unlocked it with his fingerprint before handing it over to you. You found Spotify and clicked it open, going to his playlists. You were going to click on his alternative playlist but another one caught your eye.

My Girl’s Favorites.

You glanced over at Rafe. 

“My girl’s favorites?” 

“Hmm?” He glanced over at you and you turned the screen to him. “Oh. Guess I never deleted that one.”

“Oh. You want me to delete it for you so you don’t have to remember her?” You clicked on the playlist and went to click on the three dots but Rafe spoke up.

“No!” His hand reached out and he placed a hand on your forearm to stop you. You turned to look at him and moved your finger away from the dots. “That’s… that’s your playlist. It’s probably a little outdated considering it’s been five years but… yeah. That should be all your favorites from when you were 16.” He admitted, glancing out his window before turning his attention back to the road ahead of him.

You bit your lip before clicking play on the playlist, gasping when Mr.Brightside came on first.

Rafe looked over at you and smiled as you immediately went to turn up the volume before beginning to yell the lyrics as you scrolled through all the songs that were apparently your favorites back in high school.

“This is going to be one hell of a trip down memory lane.” You commented as your eyes widened at some of the songs that you had forgotten about.

Rafe nodded. “Oh yeah. You’re in for a treat.” You glanced at him and you saw his cheeks redden slightly. “I have, on occasion, listened to it.”

You smiled and thought about Rafe listening to all of your old favorites while he was alone. If you were being honest, you still had a playlist of Rafe’s favorites that you found yourself putting on from time to time. 

You smiled as you found the playlist of your high school favorites and clicked on it, playing the music that brought back so many memories. The kettle began to whistle and you quickly turned off the heat and removed it from the burner, pouring the water into your mug that already had a teabag in it.

You grabbed your phone and your tea, heading off into your bedroom so you could begin your nightly hour of coloring to help you unwind before bed.

******

When you and Rafe pulled up at the club at 8 the next night, you got out of the car, shivering slightly in the cold breeze s you waited for Rafe. Once out, he held out his fist. 

“Rack, paper, scissors for designated driver?” 

You waved him off. “I’ll be DD.” You told him and Rafe had a look of confusion on his face. 

“Really? That easy?” 

You shrugged. “I’m used to being DD. I almost always am with the pogues.” You went to grab his keys but he pulled them away.

“Y/N, when’s the last time you got shit-faced?” He asked.

When you didn’t answer, Rafe pocketed his keys. "I’ll be DD tonight. You, my dear, are going to drink to your heart’s content.” 

You ignored the slight flutter your heart did at my dear and went for his pocket to grab his keys. “Seriously, Rafe. It’s not that big of a deal. I don’t want to ruin your fun of getting wasted.”

Rafe grabbed your wrists gently and pushed you away from his body with a small laugh. “I find the thought of you getting wasted way more entertaining.” You shot him a look and he turned you around, pushing you to the back of the small line. “Think of this as your opportunity to let loose and have some fun.”

You rolled your eyes before walking to the back of the line with Rafe behind you.

Two hours had passed since you two entered the club, sitting next to Rafe in a booth in the corner after you two had spent the last twenty minutes dancing. Rafe had two beers the whole night and you… well, Rafe would say you were closer to the shit-faced side of the scale from what he could tell. 

Rafe looked over at you and saw you yawn before picking up your drink and placing the straw in your mouth. Well, attempt to. You missed your mouth a couple of times.

"Alright, sweetheart. I think that is our cue to get you home." He told you, finishing off the beer he'd been nursing for the past 45 minutes.

You whined and grabbed his bicep with your hands. "Rafe, I'm not tired." You finally managed to get the straw into your mouth.

"Oh yeah? That yawn says otherwise. Stay here while I close the tab." He slipped out of the booth and walked over to the bar. 

After getting the bartender's attention and letting him know he was closing the tab, he glanced over at you, smiling as he watched you finish off your drink. He narrowed his eyes as he saw a dude slide into the booth next to you, a smile on his face as he reached over and touched your hand, saying something. Rafe watched you take the straw out of your mouth and respond with a shake of your head as you slowly slid out of your seat, placing your glass on the table as you said something back to him.

Rafe looked back at the bartender who tapped his shoulder and took his card back with a thanks before making his way back to you quickly.

"Rafe!" You cheered, throwing your arms around his neck. 

Throughout the night, he noticed how with each drink you got touchier and more affectionate. Not that he minded, of course, but the sudden movement took him off guard for a second before he slid his arms around your waist to keep you from tipping over.

Okay, half to keep you from tipping over, half because he wanted to.

But, you know, tomato, tomato.

"Hey, Ready to go?" He grinned, his eyes shifting from you to the guy who was now standing behind you. 

You nodded your head and you took your arms from his neck, heading towards the door as Rafe’s hand found its home on the small of your back. Rafe led you outside and to his car, opening the passenger door for you. The sleepiness seemed to finally be hitting you now that you were away from the crowd and loud music, the quiet night taking over instead as you yawned once more. Rafe opened the door for you and you whispered a quick thanks before climbing in.

“Can you buckle yourself in?” 

You nodded as you reached for the seatbelt. "Tonight was fun Rafe." You told him quietly as he watched you struggle to grab it.

Rafe smiled. "Yeah, it was." He grabbed the seatbelt and handed it to you, causing you to smile back and click it into place as he shut your door.

He walked over to the driver’s side and slid into the seat, shoving the key into the ignition before turning it and starting the car.

The ride was quiet except for the radio and when Rafe glanced over at you about halfway to your place, you were fast asleep, head resting against the window. 

When he pulled up to your apartment building, he decided against waking you up, cause what kind of a gentleman would he be if he woke a princess from her slumber just so she had to walk up six flights of stairs while drunk to her apartment, and got out of the car.

He opened your door just enough to slip his hand inside and place his hand between your head and the window before opening the door all the way. He reached over your body and clicked the button to unlatch the seatbelt. 

You stirred slightly as you groaned and Rafe looked at you the seatbelt retracted.

“It’s just me, Y/N.” He whispered, grabbing your wrists and throwing your arms around his neck.

You tightened your grip around his neck as you wrapped your legs around his waist, his hands going to the bottom of your thighs. 

“Watch your head,” He told you as he pulled you out of the car.

You tucked your face into the crook of his neck as he shut the door, beginning the journey to your apartment.

You sniffed as Rafe started up the first flight of stairs, causing one of Rafe’s hands to go to your back, rubbing your back softly.

“You okay?” 

“No.”

Rafe’s face fell at your answer. “Why?”

“Because I lied to you.” You murmured into his neck.

“Oh?”

“I never got stuck in the elevator. I made that up so I could spend a few more minutes with you.” You murmured into his neck.

Rafe felt a smile creep onto his face. “Yeah?”

He felt you nod and he chuckled. “You could’ve just invited me in for tea or something, you know?”

“My plans didn’t fall through either. I canceled them. It was a tinder date but you’re way more interesting than that guy.”

“Oh really?" He smirked, his ego slightly boosted over the fact that you chose him over some random guy.

"Mhm. I blocked him too."

"That’s nice, Y/N/N." His smirk turning into a grin. "Are you gonna delete the app entirely?"

You shrugged. "Maybe." You sighed, one of your hands beginning to play with his hair. 

The rest of the trip upstairs was quiet, Rafe hoping you didn’t fall back asleep when he came face to face with your door.

"Where are your keys?" He whispered, just in case you had actually fallen asleep.

You dug into your bag and grabbed the keys, handing them to the man without taking your face from his neck.

You kissed his cheek as he unlocked your door and opened it before setting you down.

"Do you wanna stay? It's late and I don't think you should drive anymore." You stared at him.

Rafe shoved his hands into the pockets. "Uh...yeah. Sure. Someone's gotta take care of you, right?"

You smiled as you grabbed his arm and dragged him inside, closing the door behind him. You lead him into your room and handed him a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants you never got around to returning to him before directing him to the bathroom.

You climbed into bed after getting dressed and Rafe came back into your bedroom, placing a bucket on your side of the bed. 

"Just in case you have to throw up during the night." He told you, knowing you rarely ever made it to the bathroom.

You once threw up in an empty cooler once cause you couldn't make it to the trash can that was 5 feet away but that’s a different story.

You smiled and he turned to walk away but you grabbed his wrist. He turned to look at you and you opened your arms. "Come cuddle with me?" 

Rafe smiled. "Are you sure?"

You pouted at him and patted the spot next to you. Rafe climbed into your bed, opening his arms and you rolled into his side, your head resting on his chest.

"I missed this a lot." You sighed, inhaling his scent.

"Me too, Y/N. Me too." Rafe kissed the top of your head.

You looked up at him before placing your lips on his softly. Rafe smiled as he kissed you back before pulling away after a couple of seconds.

"Go to sleep now. We'll talk in the morning." He whispered, his thumb rubbing circles on your side.

"Okay, but Rafe, you should know something else I lied about." Rafe looked down at you, waiting for what you were about to say. "I'm not that drunk." You shrugged, a small smile on your face.

Rafe stared at you.  "I carried you up the stairs for no reason? Six fights of stairs when I could've taken the elevator or you could've walked them yourself?" Rafe shook his head. “Did you use the five years to work on your lying?”

You let out a small laugh at his words. "You should've known I'm not a lightweight. I mean, JJ is one of my best friends. We didn’t even have that many drinks tonight."

Rafe shook his head at you again with a tsk. "I know your mom didn't raise you as a liar. I'm going to have to call her and tell her her daughter has been lying to me."

"But it was to spend more time with you." You grinned as you took your finger and booped his nose.

He took an arm from your waist and grabbed your wrist gently, kissing your hand. "I mean, I guess I can forgive you if that’s your reason." He smiled. 

"That is my reason." You giggled.

Rafe squeezed your side. "Then I guess you're forgiven then, sweetheart."

You threw your leg over his and closed your eyes, your arm resting across his abdomen. "That’s good to know. I can go to sleep now without worrying about you being mad at me." You hummed. "Goodnight, bubs."

Rafe grinned, kissing the top of your head once more before closing his own eyes. "Goodnight, baby."

~~~~~~~

[jangmi-latte]

May I request a scenario of Riddle, Leona and Azul with fem reader who happens to be a famous singer in her world for her powerful and mature voice but she kept it a secret until she was found out by the said characters and fell for her powerful voice.

❞ 𝐒𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐲 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! ❝

➻ content: a singing..donut..

➻ warnings: none

➻ comments: muwah muwah

࿐. . . RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

As always, Riddle was scouting the grounds of Heartslabyul. Every student he would pass by would either go quiet or stiffen up. Feared as always. That wasn't the case in your place.

You had your earphones in while painting the roses red in the rose maze. You stood quite deep into the maze, you were alone. Of course, creating small reminders to know your way out. Such as tying some white ribbons on certain postmarks along the way. Humming along to the song that was ringing in your ears, you began to remember when you were in your homeland.

Everyone loved your voice. Some would say you sounded like a siren, bringing people close to your voice and catching their attention. They loved it. Some kids have even fallen asleep to your sweet serenades and you would willingly sing in the town's square where some would even give you a little reward for being talented.

How you missed it

Deep in your subconscious state, you began to sing along with the tunes in your earphones, "I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me...I'm searching and scanning for answers in every line. For some kind of sign and when you were mine," you sang quite loudly. Singing was your freedom. Your voice bounced and echoed throughout the maze, seemingly catching the dorm leader's attention.

Riddle snapped his head over to the maze and, like in a daze, began to walk towards that lovely echo. He memorized the maze as easy as memorizing his 810 rules. Upon being welcomed by your form, the redhead's breath was caught in his throat. Beautiful and talented were the only words in his mind right now. It is rude to stare, however he couldn't take his eyes off of you, "The world seemed to burn.." you continue to sing.

Your eyes were closed as the paintbrush was now left in the pail and you were twirling the painted rose in between your fingers as you swayed side to side, "Burn.." you sang effortlessly as the word seemed like a spell to those who heard it. It was that beautiful. Just as you turned around, your eyes slowly opened and you let out a noise of surprise, "Riddle!" you exclaimed and your cheeks tinted a light pink as you removed your earphones.

Snapping out of his daze, the said boy blinked and looked away. Damn, he was caught. He cleared his throat, his cheeks the same tint as yours, as he approached you, "You have a beautiful voice," he said and held your hands, "You should sing more," he mumbled and hid his flustered self by kissing your fingers. You let out a small laugh, how melodic it was to Riddle's ears, and kissed his cheek, "Maybe I will."

"You hid it from me. From this day on, you shall sing for me. What is a ruler without showing the beauty and talent of his queen?"

Your heart began to speed up as a tender smile went to your lips. Riddle just had to make you fall for him more, hadn't he?

"Yes, Your Highness," you giggled.

࿐. . . LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

Ah you missed the days. How long has it been since you've been on stage? No one knew what you did before you came into NRC, more like being sucked into the mirror. Neither does Leona know.

You were a theater actress. Singing and acting were your specialties. Especially singing, you love it. Some would even say you were born for the stage and you would be proud of yourself. Reminiscing in those memories, you went to the staircase. It was after school hours anyways.

Leona was back in Savanaclaw, taking his usual nap. He has been waiting for you to come but you were taking long. He would be telling Ruggie to go find you but the hyena had club activities. Sighing, the prince sat up and trudged over to the main building. He had his reasons on why he wanted you at Savanaclaw. Either it was the way your fingers would dance through his hair or your warm body under his arms.

"Perfect.."

You were leaning over the railings of the stairwell. The door was closed and you were alone. You wanted to release your vocals again, "Too late for second guessing. Too late to go back to sleep," you began, "It's time to trust my instincts...Close my eyes and leap," your voice began to grow louder. The echoes of your voice creating a mysteriously calming effect within the stairwell. Anyone who would go would hear your song.

Leona was one of them. Not wanting to go to the main, always crowded, stairs, he went to the smaller stairwell. As he went up, he froze mid-step, "It's time to try...Defying gravity.." was that you? Leona's ears twitched as he slowly began up the stairs again and once he was at the last set of steps, he saw you. Leaning on the railing on the top of the stairs, "I think I'll try....Defying gravity.." you had a smile on your face. You were ethereal. You? Being in a villain school, Leona could hardly believe.

"And you can't pull do-- Leona!" you continued and yet stopped your eyes settled on Leona who was a few steps near you already. He had a ghost smile on his face as he approached you, "Why did you stop?" he said and hugged your waist from behind, "I was about to just lay on the stairs and sleep to your voice," he snickered and gave a small kiss to your cheek. Despite a smile dancing on your lips, your cheeks turned a bright red as you held his hands that was wrapped around you.

"You should start singing more. Makes me sleep better," he hummed and laid his head on your shoulder, "I will. But how about we go back to the dorm? I don't want to carry you back there," you laughed and leaned into his touch.

"Ugh."

࿐. . . AZUL ASHENGROTTO (ft. Floyd & Jade)

"And closed," Jade sighed as he flipped the Mostro Lounge's sign to closed. Floyd was cleaning the countertops and Azul was auditing by the register. You were reading on one of the tables in the cafe after helping the trio clean.

It was a peaceful evening. Quiet even. Floyd and Jade were just helping around and Azul began to sing softly. To them it might've been normal to hear the dorm leader sing out of nowhere, but to you, it was the most beautiful sound to ever resonate in your ears

Smiling, you looked over your shoulder as you watched Azul's lips move to the lyrics of the song. You know this song. Handsome and talented is he. You hummed and went back to your book, listening to your boyfriend's soft vocals. You gave half attention to the words on your lap, to the point that you began to softly sing yourself, "You may be right. You may be wrong. But say that you'll bring me along.."

This did not go unheard by the trio in the room. Azul's blue eyes looked over at your form and a smile went to his lips, "To the world you see. To the world I close my eyes to see. I close my eyes to see.." he began to sing a bit louder. Your eyes stayed focused on the book as you too began to sing louder, "Every night I lie in bed. The brightest colors filled my head.."

Floyd and Jade has stopped and stared at the two as they sung their hearts out. The hyper twin put is phone on record as he leaned over. Their friend looked very happy. Azul just stared at you as your voices synced with each other. Why did you hide this talent from him? You leaned back on the chair, the book now ignored, and sung more, "A million dreams are keeping me awake. I think of what the world could be, a vision of the one I see. A million dreams is all it's gonna take.."

Azul stood from his place and walked over to you, leaning over your form and placing his lips next to your head. Floyd was being a fanboy and Jade was trying to keep him quiet. You looked up at your boyfriend and smiled softly. The last words of the song gracefully slipping out of both of your lips, "A million dreams for the world we're gonna make.."

Azul let out a small chuckle and wrapped an arm around your shoulders then kissing your forehead, "Guppie, that was beautiful," he said. Your hand went through his locks as you leaned against his touch, "You did better yourself, Azul," you smiled.

"YOU GUYS SHOULD DO A DUET FOR THE LOUNGE!!"

You two snapped your head over at Floyd who was cheering and squealing and Jade who was facepalming but giving a thumbs up and a smile to the two of you.

Azul wasn't going to lie. You two would make an amazing duet..