#it came out in 2016 but it’s still giving 2012/13

[colors927]

nicola la - ruby the rabbitfoot

[surreality51]

Fedal and Injuries

Reposting this as its own post so it doesn’t get buried, because I think this is an important point in understanding the Federer-Nadal dynamic: 

We’ve all seen the stat that Federer had zero retirements in 1500+ matches. In Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, Sebastian Fest interviews Feliciano Lopez, who is a friend of Rafa’s and admires Roger, about this:

“It’s unreal, absolutely unreal, that the best tennis player in history has never left a match….Aside from taking care of yourself and leading a healthy life, not damaging or punishing your body, you also have to have a little bit of luck, to have a genetically strong body.” Lopez has been watching Federer play for almost two decades. ”You see him, and he is very physically gifted, very coordinated. I’ve seen him play when he was fifteen, sixteen years old, and you could see that he was physically fit for tennis. He’s flexible, tall, coordinated, he’s not lacking in any area; his movements on the court are perfect. That helps, too.”

So not only does Roger’s build, coordination, technique, and movement make him perfectly suited to tennis and help him win matches, it also prevents injuries. Outside of bad back problems in 2012-13, a bout with mono in early 2008, and probably other minor injuries we don’t know about, Roger never had major problems until he tore something in his knee in 2016. That’s 18 years of professional tennis without major injury. Eighteen years without facing the challenge of medical procedures, extended absence, rehabilitation, reconditioning, and the mental battle to return to match fitness. 

Compare that with Rafa, who has been plagued by injuries since the beginning. A congenital problem with his left foot (later diagnosed as Mueller-Weiss syndrome) nearly ended his career in 2005 at age 19, just four years into his professional career. Rehab, rest, and orthopedic inserts to cushion his foot improved the situation and he was able to resume playing. But as detailed in Rafa, he and his team knew full well that taking pressure off his foot via orthopedic inserts was going to fuck up something else down the line–knee, back, hips, something.

Turns out it was his knees, because in 2012-13, he had to have plasma injections in the ligaments of his knees because they had deteriorated badly–another potentially career-ending injury. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal details the injury, treatment, and Rafa’s view on his inherent disadvantage when it comes to injuries compared to Federer:

[He] didn’t just experience how the injections made his knees feel better: while the needles were injecting the enriched plasma into a sedated Nadal’s joints, the tennis player was overcoming an almost built-in disadvantage he had against Roger Federer. “Federer hasn’t had injuries from excessive exertions, and he’s been playing tennis for years,” Sanchez remarked. [Sanchez is the doctor who performed the injections.] “Nadal has fantastic physical qualities, better than average; he’s good in every aspect. If he had a bad physique, he never would have gotten so big, but the fact is that if you have worn down a tendon that is still degenerating, and you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll have to keep getting injections.”

[Sanchez on] Federer again: “His style of play and his physique give him a good balance.” That the doctor who gave Nadal’s knees their life back would compare him unfavorably to Federer was a bit noteworthy. “Don’t tell poor Nadal that,” the reporter joked. And then, Sanchez adds surprisingly, “No, he was the one who said that about Federer.”

^^Here’s an interesting video from a foot doctor (not Rafa’s actual foot doctor) explaining Mueller-Weiss.

So Rafa was always aware of his disadvantage when it came to injuries. I think the injuries aspect is an important part to understanding how the relationship between Roger and Rafa evolved over time, for two reasons in particular:

1. their political falling out in 2011-2012 was in part driven by their different experiences with injuries. Says Rafa in January 2012 when he aired some of his grievances from the ATP Players Council discussions:

“I say a lot of positive things now about tennis. I can’t complain about tennis, it has given me the opportunity to experience things that I might never have even dreamed of. However, is ending your career with pain in every part of your body positive? No, it’s not positive. Maybe he just has such a great physique that he’ll finish his career like a rose. Neither I, nor Murray, nor Djokovic will end our careers like roses; we will finish physically affected. Tennis is an important period in our lives, yes, but with how focused the game is, and how it’s spread out on the calendar… how old will we be when we finish playing? Unless you’re super privileged like him, who has an ease, and I don’t doubt his efforts, but for him the game comes easy. The rest of us all have to put in just a bit more effort than he does and we physically wear our bodies out more than he does.” (from Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal by Sebastian Fest)

Many of the changes that Rafa was pushing for on the ATP Players Council was rooted in his experience with frequent injuries: a 24-month ranking system instead of the 12-month ranking system, a shorter season, etc. Rafa made multiple attempts to get Roger to see his side, collected signatures from other players, but Roger was naturally more conservative, preferring to implement changes from within the existing system rather than making drastic changes. (But also keep in mind that up to this point, Roger had never been seriously injured, and thus probably didn’t understand Rafa’s perspective as urgently as he might have otherwise.) Finally, after banging his head against a brick wall for over a year, Rafa decided to resign as vice president of the ATP Players Council. Again, from Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal:

“I think he was a little frustrated by the end, and maybe he didn’t have enough time either, some of the injuries came back…” suggested [Eric] Butorac [a member of the ATP Players Council], who remembers perfectly well the day that Nadal told them he was leaving. “He gave us a good explanation, ‘Guys, I’m very frustrated with some of the things that are happening. And that frustration that I have is turning into aggressive conversations with some players, or here in the group. Instead of continuing to pour out my frustrations here, I would rather resign.’” Two years after that resignation, Federer, now the father of four children, also left the council.”

2. When asked when they started getting closer as friends, Roger once said in an interview that it was after his own injury in 2016 that he began to better understand Rafa’s perspective and experience. (Ugh, I can’t remember which interview it was, help? ETA: found it!) 

You know, especially being injured, for me, as well, seeing what he had to go through. I could never really relate to injured players, to be quite honest, because I never really was that hurt like he was. I think the last year was a good reality check for me to maybe understand what he was going through so often.

So it was their unequal experiences with injuries that drove them apart in tennis politics, and it was their shared experience with injury that finally brought them closer together. It was in Fall 2016, when both Roger and Rafa were doing rehab, that Roger helped Rafa open his academy. A few months later, in January 2017, they faced each other in that legendary Australian Open final. That year, 2017, they split the four Grand Slams in a remarkable comeback year. The first Laver Cup was also that year, and the prospect of Roger and Rafa on the same team drove a lot of the publicity and ticket sales.

So they definitely had phases in their relationship. I’d say that they had turning points in 2008 (Wimbledon), 2012 (falling out), and 2016/17 (Fedal forever), but underneath it all was always a mutual respect. Even during their falling out in 2012, at the height of the tension between them, things never turned nasty. Things were tense, there were frustrations on both sides, and Rafa made the mistake of airing his grievances to the media, but even then Rafa took responsibility:

“I said what I said. I regret saying it, especially in front of you all [reporters]. Because when I say things like that, I should say them to him directly,” Nadal emphasized, thus bringing to an end the “damage control” that he had begun many hours before through mediators on both sides, basically between Tony Godsick, Federer’s agent, and Carlos Costa, the Spaniard’s representative.

Good job, Rafa. Rule #6 of in the Handbook to Successful Marriage is “if you have a disagreement, always talk to your spouse about it directly and work it out between the two of you, instead of complaining and bringing other people into it.”

[itsrattysworld]

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Chart Journey In Glare Of Public 2004 South London Press Barclays Defraud, 2010 Participant Dr Maria Hudson Research Paper, Did A Voice Of A Child June O'Sullivan 2021 Richard Harty Panic Call Mobile Kick Me Out UEL Realise He Is Mastermind MIC Abusers HOC Nursery Equality Act Made Law, 2011 Nursery World Mag, Sky News Cost Childcare, Michael Gove LEYF Keynote Speaker, Only Staff Shortlisted Lead Early Years Practitioner, 2012 Community Playthings Partnership Work 2016, 2014 Transfer BIB Fronted Ofsted CEO Long Service Award Sanction Discrimination Labels UURICA-LE, 2015 Letter HR Dilys Epton Am Depressed Slowly Tortured To Death Transfer HOC Hilda Miller To Be Colonised Sent Medical Suspension, Dr Laura Crawford Advice Get CBT Find Out Why I React Way I Do Certain Situation, Resign 2nd Nervous Breakdown Toxic Workplace, Open Letter PM David Cameron Response David Chapman, 2016 Sessions Maudsley NHS With Trainee Counselor Laura Tinsley, HCT Group Impact Report 1 In 5 Of All Suicides Associated With Unemployment, 2017 Meet Winsome Duncan Gerry Robert Sign Engagement Agreement, Groom By Ryan Clement To Find Vulnerable Black People To Scam, Extinction Rebellion RCJ Caul Grant Wendel Daniel Street Mic, Walk For Parkinson's Brochure, Globe Theatre, 2018 Page 1 ITV News Windrush 70, Macmillan Cancer Interview, 2020 Beaten By Holly Sweeney Led Thugs Under Cover LEYF Margaret Horn Lecture Made Criminal Need ERT, 2021 Kicked Out Of UEL Richard Harty Panic Call Mobile, Barclays Take £1000.00 Counter, FOS Emma Martin-Hamilton Target Me Got YouTube Trustpilot Remove Posts, GP Surgery Decima Street Breach Rights, 2022 Targeted Samantha Gibbs Coerce Neighbour Meeting ASB Trina Philbert Candy Smith Mediate Survey Ask If Want To Discuss Concerns, Barricade On Christmas Eve, 2023 Target Of Devonshires Solicitors H4W Refer Me To Maudsley NHS Southwark Council Adult Social Care Work With Mimi Owusu Send Police To Home Welfare Check Witness Statement Set Out Defamation After H4W Sent Letter July If Mediation Offer Still Open Had 1st High Blood Pressure Blood Vessel Burst Amly's Head Dostan Died Cancer Served With Bundle Sunday Evening Take Husband Diabetes Eye Check Record Am Stressed Online Came Home To Find Letter Call Number Told About Hearing Behind Back Label Violent Nuisance By Name Linked Ms Duncan Telephone Mediation Stole Manuscript Strike Out Times I Had To Call Police Since 13/12/23 Neighbours' Partner Target Me As A Social Media Influencer Cover Stories Home Abroad Why Should I Be Made Voiceless Victim To Hide 22 Years Of Hate Crimes I Asked H4W To Keep On Record Customer Portal Wiped Was Minute Taker For H4W Panel 10 Years Of Life Ruin Husband Traumatized Whilst Am Pushed Over Edge To Become Statistics Did Cultural Ambassador Social Butterfly Get Targeted To Cover Abusers In Reviews During ET/EAT Petition Theresa May Inquiry In Early Years Sector 13/1

Without Prejudice Mervelee Myers Rise Up From 10 Years LEYF June O’Sullivan Discrimination Sanction Share Stories Of Miscarriages Of HMCTS CPS CJS Metropolitan Police Involvement In Hate Crimes Came To Section Murder Kidnap Me Sir Mark Rowley Must Give Account Of What He Wrote In My When Seb Adjei-Addoh Fail To Accept Offer To Volunteer Yet They Advertise For YouTube To Benefit Whilst Blocking Me…

[kckool]

I Eat Fear for Breakfast

Are you unemployed or recently laid off? Check out my newest blog titled "I Eat Fear for Breakfast". As someone who has now been laid off six times, I have plenty of insight. Learn how to lead with confidence, not fear!

https://kimwackerportfolio.weebly.com/blog/i-eat-fear-for-breakfast

"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear." ​— ​George Addair

This famous quote ​could not ring more true, especially in this day and age when layoffs have become as common as pouring your morning cup of joe. 

I recently came across a post on LinkedIn where the author initiated a poll. The question was, "Are you afraid of layoffs?" I laughed out loud. Why you ask? Simple. Because I eat fear for breakfast. 

Following six corporate layoffs from full-time marketing roles, on top of countless contracts ending suddenly, I no longer "fear" losing my job. Hell, I embrace it, because I know its inevitable—especially when you work in a volatile industry such as marketing.  My response? I look at it as a sign from the universe; moreover, a clear indication that something bigger and better is headed my way. You know the saying... when one door closes... enough said.  A history of layoffs ​ My first layoff was in 2012, and I was unable to find regular work for a very long time. In fact, the first short-term contract I accepted required me to take about a $37K pay cut. It was brutal, but at least I had some income, for a little while anyway. From that point, I went on to accept a number of contract and full-time jobs, all the while still being grossly underpaid. At one point, I finally started moving up again, but then ended up with the same salary for almost seven years. All I could manage to obtain were lateral moves, regardless of whether I working in a full-time or contract role.  In 2016, I came to the realization that Corporate America was no longer the "stable" option that was engrained in me growing up. My father had a very successful 25-year career with one company, but that clearly was not going to be my path. So, I decided to start moonlighting and finding side hustles.  That was just the beginning of what eventually inspired me to form my own company, Wacker Social Enterprises, LLC.  The turning point After enduring two back-to-back Covid layoffs in 2020, bringing my grand total up to five layoffs at that point, I decided that enough was enough. I was finally going to go "all in" with self-employment.  Best decision I ever made. Period. End of story.  In just one year, I exceeded the income I had ever made in any corporate full-time job. In fact, I jumped up $17K from my highest previous base salary. That was when I finally realized my worth.  Earlier this year, business slowed down and I was presented with another full-time corporate opportunity. I had sworn to myself that I would never go back to the rat race again, but given that rent had just gone up 53% where I live in Tampa, Florida (one of the highest increases in the nation), I decided to give it one final go.  I guess the writing was on the wall. After five short months, I was laid off yet again, bringing my grand total up to now six layoffs.  The statistics Here's the thing, I no longer take layoffs as a personal attack on my character or my performance. Why? Because it's so common, especially in the marketing industry. Every single time I've been laid off, I've opened up my LinkedIn feed to dozens of posts from former colleagues who had also just been laid off.  Don't believe me? The statistics speak for themselves...

According to an article published earlier this month by the Washington Post, Meta, Facebook's parent company, "plans to cut more than 11,000 jobs, or 13 percent of its workforce, as it seeks to scale back expenses and transform its business in a more competitive digital advertising market."  A similar article published by the Financial Post just days ago reports that "layoffs are being planned at more than half of U.S. companies." This statement followed a recent survey released by a consultant at PWC, which polled more than 700 U.S. executives. The industries at riskIf you think your industry is recession-proof, you may want to think again.

This article, published by Facty, provides a comprehensive list of the top ten industries that are most susceptible to layoffs. Keep in mind that this article was written in 2020, but in my opinion, is still an accurate source, considering we were in the midst of a pandemic.

I don't know about you, but this list of industries most at risk does not surprise me: (side note: my most recent layoff was from a marketing role in the real estate industry... take a look at #1 and #2 below!)​

Real Estate

Marketing 

Construction

Auto

Airline & Travel

Restaurant

Oil

Hospitality

Recruiting & Employment

Freelancing 

The word on the street is that another recession is fast approaching. My advice? Be prepared. Don't be stuck looking fear in the face. Have an actionable plan in place. Start saving now. Start thinking about alternate ways that you can earn money. START NOW! 

What's next? 

Stay tuned... I'm currently working on a very affordable e-Book titled "The Ultimate Unemployment Survival Guide." If you are unemployed, and don't know where to start, or are just looking for a side hustle, this guide will be a must-have! It will include tips and tricks on how to make yourself recession-proof and walk you through the A to Z's of every step to take if and when you face layoffs. Have no fear! I have lived through this half a dozen times now and I can help! 

Until next time...! 

Your friend, Kim 

[mercurygray]

So, I Hear You Liked: 1917

More World War One Films

I was very excited about 1917 when it first came out because it almost perfectly coincided with the 100th anniversary of the First World War, a conflict that I love to read about, write about, and watch movies about. This period is my JAM, and there's such a lot of good content for when you're done with Sam Mendes's film.

Obviously there are a lot of movies and TV shows out there - this is just a selection that I enjoyed, and wish more people knew about.

Note: Everyone enjoys a show or movie for different reasons. These shows are on this list because of the time period they depict, not because of the quality of their writing, the accuracy of their history or the political nature of their content. Where I’m able to, I’ve mentioned if a book is available if you’d like to read more.

I'd like to start the list with a movie that isn't a fiction piece at all - Peter Jackson's They Shall Not Grow Old (2019) is a beautifully produced film that allows the soldiers and archival images themselves, lovingly retimed and tinted into living color, to tell their own story. It is a must watch for anyone interested in the period.

Wings (1927), All Quiet on the Western Front (1930), A Farewell to Arms (1932, 1957), The Dawn Patrol (1938), Sergeant York (1941), and Paths of Glory (1957) are all classics with a couple of Oscars between them, and it's sort of fun to watch how the war gets changed and interpreted as the years pass. (The Dawn Patrol, for instance, might as just as easily be about the RAF in World War 2.)

All Quiet is based on a famous memoir, and A Farewell to Arms on a Hemingway novel; both have several adaptations and they're all a little different. Speaking of iconic novels, Doctor Zhivago (1965) based on the Pasternak novel of the same title, examines life of its protagonist between 1905 and the start of the second World War.

I think one thing historians agree on is that the start of World War One is worth discussing - and that there's a lot of backstory. Fall of Eagles (1974), a 13 part BBC miniseries, details the relationships between the great houses of Europe, starting in the 1860s; it's long but good, and I think might be on YouTube. The Last Czars (2019) takes a dramatized look at the Romanovs and how their reactions to the war lead to their eventual demise.

As far as the war itself, Sarajevo (2014) and 37 Days (2014) both discuss the outbreak of hostilities and the slow roll into actual battle.

The Passing Bells (2014) follows the whole war through the eyes of two soldiers, one German and one British, beginning in peacetime.

Joyeux Noel ( 2005) is a cute story - it takes place early in the war during the Christmas Peace and approaches the event from a multinational perspective.

War Horse (2011) is, of course, a name you'll recognize. Based on the breakout West End play, which is itself based on a YA novel by Michael Morpurgo, the story follows a horse who's requisitioned for cavalry service and the young man who owns him. Private Peaceful (2012) is also based on a Morpurgo novel, but I didn't think it was quite as good as War Horse.

The Wipers Times (2013) is one of my all-time favorites; it's about a short lived trench paper written and produced by soldiers near Ypres, often called Wipers by the average foot soldier. The miniseries, like the paper, is laugh out loud funny in a dark humor way.

My Boy Jack (2007) is another miniseries based on a play, this one about Rudyard Kipling and his son, Jack, who served in the Irish Guards and died at Loos. Kipling later wrote a poem about the death of his son, and helped select the phrase that appears on all commonwealth gravestones of the First World War.

Gallipoli (1981) is stunning in a way only a Peter Weir movie can be; this is a classic and a must-see.

Gallipoli is a big story that's been told and retold a lot. I still haven't seen Deadline Gallipoli (2015) an Australian miniseries about the men who wrote about the battle for the folks back home and were subject to censorship about how bad things really were. For a slightly different perspective, the Turkish director Yesim Sezgin made Çanakkale 1915 in 2012, detailing the Turkish side of the battle. Although most of The Water Diviner (2014) takes place after the war is over, it also covers parts of Gallipoli and while it didn't get great reviews, I enjoy it enough to own it on DVD.

I don't know why all of my favorite WWI films tend to be Australian; Beneath Hill 60 (2010) is another one of my favorites, talking about the 1st Australian Tunneling Company at the Ypres Salient. The War Below (2021) promises to tell a similar story about the Pioneer companies at Messines, responsible for building the huge network of mines there.

Passchendaele (2008) is a Canadian production about the battle of the same name. I'd forgotten I've seen this film, which might not say very much for the story.

Journey's End (2017) is an adaptation of an RC Sheriff play that takes place towards the end of the war in a dugout amongst British officers.

No look at the Great War is complete without a nod to developing military technologies, and this is the war that pioneers the aviation battle for us. I really wish Flyboys (2006) was better than it is, but The Red Baron (2008) makes up for it from the German perspective.

One of the reasons I like reading about the First World War is that everyone is having a revolution. Technology is growing by leaps and bounds, women are fighting for the right to vote, and a lot of colonial possessions are coming into their own, including (but not limited to) Ireland. Rebellion (2016) was a multi-season miniseries that went into the Easter Rising, as well as the role the war played there. Michael Collins (1996) spends more time with the Anglo-Irish war in the 1920s but is still worth watching (or wincing through Julia Roberts' bad accent, you decide.) The Wind that Shakes the Barley covers the same conflict and is excellent.

The centennial of the war meant that in addition to talking about the war, people were also interested in talking about the Armenian Genocide. The Promise (2016) and The Ottoman Lieutenant (2017) came out around the same time and two different looks at the situation in Armenia.

This is a war of poets and writers, of whom we have already mentioned a few. Hedd Wynn ( 1992) which is almost entirely in Welsh, and tells the story of Ellis Evans, a Welsh language poet who was killed on the first day of the Battle of Passchendaele. I think Ioan Gruffudd has read some of his poetry online somewhere, it's very pretty. A Bear Named Winnie (2004) follows the life of the bear who'd become the inspiration for Winnie the Pooh. Tolkien (2019) expands a little on the author's early life and his service during the war. Benediction (2021) will tell the story of Siegfried Sassoon and his time at Craiglockhart Hospital. Craiglockhart is also represented in Regeneration (1997) based on a novel by Pat Barker.

Anzac Girls (2014) is probably my favorite mini-series in the history of EVER; it follows the lives of a group of Australian and New Zealand nurses from hospital duty in Egypt to the lines of the Western Front. I love this series not only because it portrays women (ALWAYS a plus) but gives a sense of the scope of the many theatres of the war that most movies don't. It's based on a book by Peter Rees, which is similarly excellent.

On a similar note, The Crimson Field (2014) explores the lives of members of a Voluntary Aid Detachment, or VADs, lady volunteers without formal nursing training who were sent to help with menial work in hospitals. It only ran for a season but had a lot of potential. Testament of Youth (2014) is based on the celebrated memoirs of Vera Brittain, who served as a VAD for part of the war and lead her to become a dedicated pacifist.

Also, while we're on the subject of women, though these aren't war movies specifically, I feel like the additional color to the early 20th century female experience offered by Suffragette (2015) and Iron-Jawed Angels (2004) is worth the time.

As a general rule, Americans don't talk about World War One, and we sure don't make movies about it, either. The Lost Battalion (2001) tells the story of Major Charles Whittlesey and the 9 companies of the 77th Infantry division who were trapped behind enemy lines during the battle of the Meuse Argonne.

I should add that this list is curtailed a little bit by what's available for broadcast or stream on American television, so it's missing a lot of dramas in other languages. The Road to Calvary (2017) was a Russian drama based on the novels of Alexei Tolstoy. Kurt Seyit ve Şura (2014) is based on a novel and follows a love story between a Crimean officer (a Muslim) and the Russian woman he loves. The show is primarily in Turkish, and Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ, who plays the lead, is *very* attractive.

Finally, although it might seem silly to mention them, Upstairs Downstairs (1971-1975 ) Downton Abbey (2010-2015) and Peaky Blinders (2013-present) are worth a mention and a watch. All of them are large ensemble TV shows that take place over a much longer period than just the Great War, but the characters in each are shaped tremendously by the war.

[stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland]

There is a light at the end of the tunnel

Hello, Stuck. Sorry, I don’t know your real name.

I wrote this long ass post to bring some light into the fandom and between the CSs, and I hope you can post it? I’m new in the Tumblr world, but not in the 5H fandom. I don’t quite know how it works yet and, for the moment, I only know your blog and those of @emisonme, @karlaswine, @sun-to-my-luna, @underthatimpression, and @mentesimploria because, in one way or another, you’re all connected to each other. I just wanted to tell you guys how much I appreciate every single one of you, the passion you have, and the hope you keep alive among those who, like me, love the girls. Also, the patience you guys have, especially against the haters, is admirable. I love the fact that you keep going. Because this is your sacred place, as it should be.

This is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I’m what can be defined as a ‘silent fan’. I never commented on anything in the girls’ posts, not even on the fan accounts I follow. I don’t have Twitter. I have Facebook but it’s like I don’t have it because I don’t use it. I have Wattpad (obviously). I recently registered here on Tumblr, and I have Instagram. That’s what I use. It’s the only app along with YouTube that I use daily to keep up with the rest of the world. Especially the American part of the world. I’m Italian, but I speak American English well, and I apologize in advance if my lazy ass hasn’t noticed possible grammatical errors. I saw that a lot of you are into this stuff, so I thought I’d add it just because. I’m a Capricorn Sun, Cancer Moon, and Virgo rising.

I’m gonna turn 29 on December 22, and this is a BIG fuck off to all the people who have attacked you lately for your age. This is personal information that I give freely to make ignorant and small-minded people understand that, in this context especially, age is irrelevant. As you, little fucker who hides behind a computer to attack people just to feel stronger, have a life, we have it too. Like you, we have a life, a job, friends, etc. We also have passions. Passions that yes, my dear haters, also include shipping people. I don’t know why in your stupid brain we’re too old to ship people we love and to give opinions about it. I didn’t know it was something reserved only for those who still smell like mommy’s milk. But anyway…

I became aware of 5H existence just before summer 2015 thanks to ‘Worth It’. Being Italian, however, I had no idea who they were, and to be honest, I didn’t go searching for them. Randomly one day then, I ran into Camren on YouTube. I can’t remember which video I was watching, but I know for sure it was about ‘Heya/Brittana’ (Heather Morris and Naya Rivera/Brittany and Santana, my very first hard LGBT ship). And among the suggested videos, there they are. As ridiculous as it sounds, and although I liked them as soon as I saw them, I didn’t go searching for them. I did it when ‘Work from Home’ came out though. From there, I connected that they were the same ‘Worth It’ group and the same two girls I liked from those YouTube videos. I had officially become a fan. I was screwed. Screwed because, I’d officially entered one of the most messed up and yet most beautiful fandoms ever.

As I initially said, this is the very first time I’ve ever done anything like this. But after the recent events, seeing how many people gave up, it made me a little angry and gave me the strength to speak for the first time. I thought the first time would’ve been through the fanfiction I’ve been working on for over two years, but no. Lauren and her beautiful mouth had to terrorize, disappoint, panic, and make angry 80% of CS, thus fueling the hatred of all the other fandom towards us. So I decided to speak now. Maybe, just maybe, this very long ass post of mine is gonna help struggling CS. Maybe, just maybe, it’s gonna make them reason and bring them to their senses.

So. This, as I think you’ve understood, is about Lauren and what she said in the podcast. This is a reminder of the Laucy situation. These are things we already know and that I want to remind you of because apparently, my lovely fellows CS, either you have a short-term memory, or Lauren has the power to create amnesia in people’s minds and I knew nothing about it. Surely this power of hers didn’t work on me and a few others.

Oh and, before starting: 1) You may disagree with me. It’s normal to have different opinions. 2) You can search for information such as dates, easily on the internet. 3) I’m gonna use nicknames on PRs for fun. That doesn’t mean I hate them. I have my reasons for dislike each one of them as people, but I can assure you it has nothing to do with the fact that they were or are the Camren beards. An example to make you understand what I mean is Ty. I’m a huge Ari fan and I’ve been listening to ‘safety net’ non-stop for two days straight. I really dislike Ty as a person, but I separate the art from the artist.

Okay, that said, I can start.

Lauren said: “I knew I was queer because I fell in love with my best friend when I was like 15.” – “Her and I started to have a physical connection when I was 15.”

Lauren and Lucid Vivisectionist met when L moved to Carrollton in 7th grade. Lucille moved back to Puerto Rico in February 2012, returning to visit Miami occasionally (this explains the fetus pictures with Lucy and Camren at L’s house). In February 2012, Lauren was 15, Camila 14, and Lucy 16. And who did Lauren meet when she was 15? Oh yeah, Camila. C and L did the first phase of the audition, the ‘cattle call’, on May 1, 2012 in Greensboro, North Carolina. Audition where Camila took courage to speak at the (“Oh my God that girl is) literally so beautiful” girl from which she felt intimidated by starting that adorable brief conversation “Hi, I like your shirt”, “Thanks. I like your jacket” just before it was her turn to get in for her audition. In May 2012, Lauren and Camila were both 15 years old. Lauren and Camila saw each other again for the first time on July 25th, two months later, in Miami on the first day of boot camp, and it was Lauren herself who went to Camila: “You’re the Cuban girl!”. In July 2012, Lauren was 16 and Camila was 15.

Lauren said: “She came back into my life when I was 18. I was on tour and I was in my room in a hotel somewhere, and she called me.” Let me explain to you why I think this is true.

Lauren and Luxy reconnected with each other after Lucy’s car accident that took place on May 15, 2015. Lauren was really 18 in May 2015, and we can rule out The Reflection Tour dates because it started on February 27, 2015, and ended April 6, 2015. We can also rule out these other show dates that 5H did: April 11 in Jackson Township, New Jersey - April 13 at Live! with Kelly and Michael in New York - April 19 Lauren was at Coachella with Keana, Britt, and other friends - April 22 at the Worldwide Radio Summit in Hollywood - April 25 at Radio Disney Music Awards 2015 in Los Angeles - May 8 at Channel 93.3 Summer Kickoff 2015 in Chula Vista, San Diego - May 9 at Wango Tango 2015 in Carson, Los Angeles (May 9, rumors about Camila and Louis Tomlinson just because paparazzi believed they were together when Louis was actually together with Liam outside the Project Club L.A., and C who was at the club next door) - May 15 at KDWB Radio Show in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The rest of their program and possible date: May 16 at Kiss Concert 2015 in Mansfield, Massachusetts - May 19 at Dancing with the Stars in Los Angeles - May 30 at G-A-Y in London (rumors about Lauren and Louis Tomlinson this time, born because 5H went to Libertine nightclub with Louis and Niall) - May 31 at Britain’s Got More Talent in London - June 2 at Capital FM in Birmingham, England - June 5 at Good Morning Britain in London - June 6 at Capital FM Summertime Ball 2015 in London - June 12 at Aloha Stadium in Honolulu, Hawaii - June 14 at LA Pride 2015 - June 18 at Jimmy Kimmel Live in Los Angeles - June 20 at B96 Pepsi Summer Bash 2015 in Bridgeview, Illinois - June 23 at San Diego County Fair 2015 - 28 June at Show Of The Summer 2015 in Hershey, Pennsylvania - July 10 at Rockefeller Plaza in New York. July 15, 2015, beginning of Reflection: The Summer Tour.

June 27, 2015 Lauren turned 19, and do you guys remember the events of those days? Because I do.

On June 24, 2015, Lauren celebrated her birthday in advance at the famous sushi restaurant ‘Katsuya’. Among the guests were the girls, her mom Clara, some friends, including Jill (the same Jill/Jillian Gutowitz who worked with Zack Sang and who 5H met on April 22, 2015, at the Worldwide Radio Summit, which lasted for three days but they were present for two: 22 and 23. The same Jill who wrote the article for AfterEllen on January 25, 2016, about her experiences with women who denied their sexuality. Remember the story of Lauren Jordan, right?), and Noah Benardout (may he rest in peace). Still no Lucia, not even on the days when Lauren returned to Miami to celebrate with her family before resuming the program from the 28. As I already said, The Reflection Summer Tour began on July 15, 2015, and Lucy’s first public reappearance took place on one of the tour dates, that is, July 27 at Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

From that moment on, we saw Lucille appear on multiple occasions in hops through time. After the July 27th date, we saw her during the trip to Hawaii with Lauren and Keana in September, followed by the concert that the girls had on October 10 in the Bahamas, where they stayed with their families and friends for a few days. After the Bahamas, the mess happened between 5H because they found out about Camila’s departure from the group which initially should’ve been immediate, but for which they fought and gained another year. That, was also the time when Laucy signed their PR contract. As we know from Lauren herself, that was the worst and darkest time for her. That was the beginning of her numbness.

On October 23, they were on their way to Italy and Lauren wrote on her dark diary, the one shown to us in Episode 8 of her Attunements. On October 24, they arrived in Milan for the MTV Europe Music Awards 2015 occurred on October 25, and on October 28, in Madrid instead, there was the interview with Alyson Eckmann, the journalist Camila flirted with while Lauren was sitting right next to her.

Going forward, in November we have:

- Rumors about Lauren and Julius Dein (his friend who is a YouTube magician).

-The release of IKWYDLS including the rumors about Camila and Shawn and Michael Clifford (who was already in the picture) who were ‘vying for her’.

- Beginning of Lauren’s coming out plan which included: 1) The release of The Vamps’ album on November 23rd, that is, a week after the release of IKWYDLS, and which included the track ‘I Found A Girl’. Joe O'Neill, the manager of The Vamps, liked that famous tweet. Despite the efforts to make us believe that Bleahren (sorry for the Italian pun I made here, but ‘bleah’ in Italian is equivalent to the ‘eww’ to indicate something gross, and therefore Bleah-Ren) Brauren was real and that the girl involved was Lucille and not Camila, they’ve miscalculated since Lauren and Brad ‘dated’ in 2014 when Lucy had not yet returned into Lauren’s life. But since the album and consequently the song came out on November 23, 2015, they tried to manipulate people’s minds as usual. 2) Jill’s article that served to connect and more or less ‘confirm’ the story between this Jordan and her childhood friend, Lauren-Lucy.

- December: completion of the 7/27 album + Dina LaPolt’s entry + renegotiation of the contracts (mostly DNA’s contracts) + FIFTH HARMONY MUSIC, INC. created by LAND on December 21 to prepare for the transfer of the 5H trademark, the FIFTH HARMONY PARTNERSHIP, of which they became owners from April 27, 2016 + change of management from Faculty Management: Jared Paul and Janelle Lopez, to Maverick Management: Larry Rudolph, Dan Dymtrow, and Tara Beikae. [All things that were possible ONLY THANKS to the exit of C from the group]

- January 2016, we have Lauren and Lucrezia who came back from Colombia to then taking a road trip for Lucy’s birthday week.

- Jill’s article came out and coincidentally, by pure chance, exactly two days later, on January 27, 2016, Camila and Dinah were hacked.

- On March 9, 2016, Lauren, Normani, Andrea, Dinah, and Keana went to pierce their ears, or rather, Laurmainah pierced their ears, mama Dre and Keana just accompanied them. During her turn, Lauren asked Keana to take her phone to make a video. In the meantime, Mani was filming Lauren, and again by pure chance, Keana, who was in the heart of the frame, took Lauren’s phone as she’d asked, and both the lock screen and the home screen portrayed a picture of Lucania during a photoshoot. Same picture Lucy herself posted on Instagram on April 10th to leave no doubt.

- April 24, 2016, Coachella together.

- Luciana went with 5H in London, in May, during the promotion of the 7/27 album. (+ Camren video of May 28, 2016)

- She was present during the start of the tour in South America on June 26th (in the evening during the concert, L danced Big Bad Wolf for her, but that’s not the famous video, that was on September 5) and 27th to celebrate L’s birthday together (picture of the 27th of them in Buenos Aires).

- June 27, 2016, on L’s birthday, Jill posted a picture with L from the birthday dinner of the year before, further confirming the story of ‘Jordan’.

- August 1, the national girlfriend day, L posted a picture of her and Lucy.

- From August 12 to 21, Lucy was with them. The night after the concert on the 13th in Rochester Hills, Michigan, videos in which Lucilla appeared during Lauren Fuller’s birthday celebration at the hotel for dinner. On the 14th in Noblesville, Indiana, during Gonna Get Better and Big Bad Wolf Lauren smiled in Lucy’s direction who was in the audience. On the 18th in Virginia Beach, Virginia, a fan met Laucy in a movie theater restroom, taking a selfie with Lauren (C posted a picture of her in the dark with the words of Bad Things “don’t think that I can explain it” the same night).

- On September 4 and 5 Lucippe returned. On the 5th in Houston, Texas, the famous ‘super HD’ video took place in which Lauren danced Big Bad Wolf for Lucy, even pointing to her during her verse. [On September 6, Midland, Texas, during the Q&A, Lauren wore the same dress that Lucy was wearing to the concert the night before, and at the same time, she sat next to C and got jealous when C complimented a fan by sending her flying kisses. Ahh… The irony]

Now. Let’s move on to the part of the podcast where Lauren explains about the kiss with Lucza at her uncle and aunt’s wedding, how her aunt “super innocently” posted the pictures on Facebook that her “unreal invasive fans” found and posted, how Perez Hilton outed her to the world by posting an article with those pictures, how she did nothing for a week, and that after thinking “Ok, it happened. People know. What am I gonna do?”, she wrote that letter against Trump as her own way of coming out.

On November 4, 2016, Lauren and Lucynda did the ‘famous’ photoshoot in New Orleans called ‘Bare With Me’. Lauren flew to NOLA right after Halloween, got back to Miami to vote, then returned to New Orleans on the 10th along with her family for the wedding. Lucianna was also with her on the 10th for the rehearsal/bowling with all of Lauren’s relatives. Meanwhile Orange Trumpeter was elected on the 8th, and many celebrities were preparing to write a letter through Billboard against him and his supporters. Labels and management saw it as a perfect opportunity to get her to come out also considering how much Lauren has always been vocal on the subject, and THEY contacted Billboard to get her to participate in exchange of the exclusive of her coming out. All that was missing was the evidence to make sure that there had been no connection with Camila, and that was the reason for the kiss at the wedding on the 11th.

On November 13, the wedding photographer posted those pictures on his website, including the one of the kiss. And I’m sorry, Lolo, I love you but, really? Who are you kidding? The pictures didn’t start spreading because her ‘unreal invasive fans’ found them on her aunt’s Facebook page where she’d posted them ‘super innocently’. The pictures started spreading after the photographer posted them! And you know what’s even more funny? That to see those pictures on the website, you needed an access password. So what are you saying here, Lo? That your ‘unreal invasive fans’ were so good, to even have hacked their way into the website for pictures they didn’t even know existed? It wasn’t your team, was it? Oh, okay. My bad.

Sarcasm aside. The pictures started to spread, Perez tweeted about it on the 14th, and in the meantime Lauren had time to write the letter that was approved by the labels and sent to Billboard (on the 14th), who approved it a couple of days after it was sent (on the 16th), and which they then published it in the article two days later (on the 18th). In all of this, on November 15, 2016, the girls all went to Epic’s party. Since we know very well that most of the cases of coming out as bisexual in the industry made by a female celebrity occur in succession with the connection with a guy, that night there was the PR proposal between Typo Dolour Signal and Lauren that he obviously accepted, and in fact, he was there that night at that party too (Picture of C with a tear mark on her cheek).

Now, the icing on the cake of the Laucy’s PR: Nicole Cartolano. Nicole is a friend of Lecy’s with whom she had already worked together and who also posted pictures of Lauren on November 17 and 22, 2016, one on December 31, 2016, together with Marian Hill taken backstage after Lauren’s performance with them on the 30th, the night before, for the Snow Globe Festival in South Lake Tahoe, California, and the one of Laucy (with the piñata) on January 10, taken the same night to celebrate Lucilia’s birthday at midnight and that Lauren also used to post it for wish her a happy birthday. That was the last public interaction between the two. *Slow entry of Tympans Dollhouse Signalized in the picture from January 4, 2017, thanks to that tweet*.

On January 21, 2017, Lauren and Lucy were at the same Women’s March, but separately (single), and we haven’t seen them together anymore. LuBYE. On March 22, 2017, both ‘Bare With Me’ and the interview article Nicole did with MTV News (she confirmed that Laucy had been together by having an on-again, off-again for years and also said a lot of other bullshit like the fact that the girls were nervous because they didn’t know how their parents would’ve responded) came out. On August 13, 2018, Nicole officially apologized to Lucy for being angry with her for posting the pictures and therefore for having outed her and for having taken part in the MTV interview without their permission. There was also the screenplay made by Nicole’s mom to make everything even more true.

Bullshit on bullshit on bullshit. Number 1, Lauren herself confirmed in this podcast that her parents knew about her, and said how much she loved Lucre’s ‘I’m out and proud’ part.

Number 2, Nicole posted a preview of the pictures on March 18, 2017, so if she really wanted to stop her before the publication on the 22nd, she would’ve had time to do so.

Number 3, Lucita came out publicly on her own with that Spanish post on Instagram on November 20, 2016, saying in summary that she was anything but straight because she didn’t want to label herself (she did it years later by saying she was a lesbian).

Number 4, as Lusia also confirmed in that post where Nicole’s mom left that comment, Nicole signed a non-disclosure agreement form. If she had actually violated it without having had a release and written consent form, she would’ve been sued.

Number 5, if Luciferase really wanted to have that conversation in private with Nicole’s mom, she might very well have done so. She could’ve contacted her and answered her IN PRIVATE for real, and not via IG where EVERYONE saw and took the side of poor, poor Luckless.

Number 6, the biggest proof that shows the hypocrisy of all this, Lucasta continued to work with Nicole. Their last work dates back to November 25, 2019.

Okaay, sure… sure, because it was normal for her to continue working with the person who outed her, wasn’t it? People’s lies never cease to amaze me. For that matter, Nicole also posted a picture of their ‘adventure’ as they made their way to the photoshoot location on November 1, 2017, and continued to wish them both a happy birthday with posts every year.

And lastly, on June 6, 2020, we have the Lucerne’s video leaked (+ old pictures and videos of 5H) where she burned pictures of Lauren and of the two of them together in 2017, accompanied by the tweets occurred two days later, in which she explained that she was hacked and that she burned the pictures for a closure. Then, exactly 20 days later, that is on June 26, 2020, the PAPER Magazine article of Lauren’s interview came out. What a coincidence! In that article, Lauren explained, along with other things, that she’d been in love with her best friend for 7 years.

Lauren, honey, the maths, the maths… If according to your words you fell in love with her at 15, got together with her at 18, and broken up at 20, how can these be 7 years? It’s 5 years… And as if it wasn’t enough, still according to your words, after 1 year and 8 months (from mid-May 2015 to mid-January 2017), 2 months of which public because of the wedding pictures, of the relationship you wanted at all costs, “all in” and “now we’re gonna be in this relationship”, you broke up with her because she was really toxic, and after less than a month, you started dating an even more toxic person without the proper time to heal?? How do you expect me to believe you? And I’m putting aside the fact that I know they’re both PR relationships. I’m speaking out of logic. How? How can I believe you? How does this make any sense?

Personally, yes, I believe Lauren and Lucy have a past. Lauren’s first kiss was when she was 13 (8th grade) with her boyfriend at the time, Dominic, but I think Lucy was her first kiss with a girl. And I think it happened when she was 15, but in 2011, so long before Lucy left. Lauren dated Paul Martinez from June 4, 2011, to the end of July (around 23/24). From after Paul, until her very first PR at X-Factor, Keaton Stromberg, she was single. I truly believe that before she met Camila, Lauren and Lucy did everything Lauren said. I really believe Lauren experimented with her in secret, but I don’t believe in anything else she said at all.

This is my opinion. And in my opinion, Lauren always knew she was queer, and Lucy was the first with whom she could experience the attraction and the feelings towards girls she had always felt and concealed deep inside herself. But they were friends. Just friends. Friends who messed around and experimented together in secret given the environment that surrounded them. Lucy then returned to live in Puerto Rico and they simply drifted apart because of the distance and Lauren’s busy schedule with 5H. When she came back into Lauren’s life, they rekindled their friendship. Just that. Also because, Camila, hello? Camila entered Lauren’s heart the same year Lucy left and never get out of it. Not to mention that Lucy had a girlfriend, Sarah Scott Narcise, before getting together with Nicole Marie Rendón in March 2017. I honestly think that Lucy was also giving advice to Lauren about her relationship with Camila, and I also think that now they really aren’t friends anymore for something we don’t know about, even though I have my theories… But anyway. Lauren needed a beard to be able to come out, Lucy needed visibility for her modeling career and, at the time, also for her music which, however, never saw the light of day. The labels approved because they would’ve done anything to keep their chosen one out of the gay light. Camila also approved. Boom, PR.

I don’t believe all the other bullshit she said during the podcast. Because if they’d been true, they would’ve made logical sense. A sense they’ve been trying, and failing, to give for years. If Lauren really didn’t want to come out, she wouldn’t have done a photoshoot with Lucy a week before the wedding with the intention of using that same photoshoot to come out. She would not have kissed Lucy in a public place during the wedding pictures in front of a professional photographer hired for the event, knowing full well that those pictures would eventually have been published by the bride and groom, her aunt and uncle, and the photographer himself. If she wanted so badly a picture of her kissing her girlfriend, drunk or not, she would’ve taken her fucking phone and take selfies. It wasn’t the fans’ or Perez’s fault. It was the management that was following the plan.

And I’m supposed to, what exactly? Forget all these things, things that have been proofed multiple times in the past, because Lauren, or Camila, or management, or labels, or their contracts, must continue with their stupid narrative? Because Camila must continue to look straight and continue to look in love with Shalt Menstruated because the señorito is about to release his documentary and his album? Because Camila’s movie is about to come out? Because Lauren’s own album is about to be released and because the subject matter of her female-pronounced songs must only and exclusively be related to Lucy? (Although I think her album will be out next year. I think a song with female pronunciation is coming out soon. And no, I’m sorry, I don’t think it’s Burning)

Guys, come on…

Think about it. She used Lucy as a shield to tell part of her story with Camila that happened in 2014. It all fits. Even the story told through songs from Camila’s cocky POV, including ‘Like Friends Do’, ‘Eyes on You’, ‘Cleopatra’, ‘Leave for Good’, and a couple from her last album like ‘Should’ve Said It’ and ‘Feel It Twice’.

I understand why many of you have been hurt by this podcast and by Lauren herself. I understand why a lot of you are angry about the things she said. I see you, I understand, I really do. And everyone is free to feel whatever they want, I’m not saying otherwise. But I really don’t understand why you’re hiding or why you’re abandoning the ship. Authors who don’t wanna write anymore. Accounts closed. Names changed. Hope lost. This, all this, makes me angry and hurt. Because you fell for it. And you know why you fell for it? Because Lauren changed her approach. Leaving aside the part just before when she said: “Even when I talk about it, and I don’t talk about it because I’ve learned to just ignore it because-” and there, I swear I had to pause because I burst out laughing, and I was like: “Bitch, you’re the one who pulled this out of your ass out of nowhere right this second, what are you saying?”. She went on by saying, and she knows us so well because of this: “I just chose to ignore it at a certain point because getting angry to them would it mean that it was real and validate it more for them”.

And it’s true. This non-angry approach of hers, worked like a charm. Lauren’s older, she’s more mature than before. Although she was very nervous, she managed to explain everything calmly. The fact that she was emotional and almost cried in many parts, it really gave an extra boost to what she tried to sell. And I’m not saying she faked almost crying. Hell, no. That was super true and hard for her. I’m saying though, that it’s really easy to manipulate people’s minds, and Lauren used her real pain, the real suffering she has gone through over the years to tell this charade. That’s why it seemed so real. And I’m supposed to fall for that shit just because that’s what they’ve wanted for years, right? Convenient much?

Guys, please. You’re smarter than that, use those beautiful brains. For example, the fact that Lauren said: “I was queer, but she was not”, wrong as you want it to be, and “Camila and I were just really good friends at that time”, yeah, sure, Jan. Doesn’t the very fact that she used the past tense make you realize that it was done to completely detach herself from her IN THE PRESENT? Everything she said was for something. Everything had a purpose. And the goal is always the same. Make us stop shipping ‘em. Putting a label on C only served the Shoestoremila purpose, nothing else. And those were words that came out of the mouth of the one who says she doesn’t like labeling people. The same one who was pissed that someone had outed her before she wanted to. Do you really think she’s that hypocritical?

The fact that she put all the CS in the same box, especially when she talked about the Daddy situation, WAS DONE ON PURPOSE. She couldn’t fail to generalize because their purpose is, and will be for a long time to come, to kill Camren. That means the whole fandom. Not just invasive elements. But really all the CS. The purpose was to make us feel guilty. The purpose is to make us accept that it was never real, and since we care about them, to make us continue to support them individually and not as a couple, even though she knows that the real CS do it regardless. This, is called manipulation, guys.

Think about everything else too. The inconsistency. The holes in her story. The lack of explanations. And the fact that during the story of how it all happened, she jumped from one theme to another and therefore managed to deflect and not completely finish one before moving on to the other, doesn’t it make you understand that she didn’t want to give too many details? And when does that usually happen? She knew we’d analyze her. She knew she couldn’t say too much. When she talked about Lucy, she knew that WE know she was talking about Camila, and with too many details, it would also have been obvious to the others because WE would’ve pointed it out to everyone. I mean, it’s obvious enough in itself, imagine if she’d fed us more information that we would’ve compared in the timeline.

Please, guys. I know that it feels like something’s changed, but it’s not. It’s really not. I’m appealing to all of you. Open your eyes. Reason. I know many of you still have conflicting emotions and feelings, and that’s okay. If you’re still upset, if you still wanna cry, then cry. Do whatever helps you feel better because, especially after the haters have come to bite your asses, you’re entitled to feel the way you do. But please, please, don’t give up. If you give up, you just play their game. You just do them a favor. You guys had invested so much of your time, so much of your passion, so much of yourselves to just, give up. Think of all we’ve been through, especially those who’ve been in the fandom for years. Think about how happy Camren makes you. They were there for you when you needed them. When you were going through hard times. I know they’ve helped a lotta people.

And think about this too. Lauren herself said at the beginning of the podcast: “The news and the media are constantly spinning narratives for your clicks so they can make money”. And what do you think this podcast was for? It’s always the same shit. Have you not noticed how the very same news and media have ALL talked about them? Didn’t you notice how My Oh My magically returned into the charts? How 50ft surpassed the 9 million streams on Spotify? And you still have doubts?

This is instead for the CS who get often angry about their actions. I personally think it’s pointless to blame Lauren and Camila for every single thing they do that has been PLANNED for them. Especially Camila as far as Shonas is concerned. There’s a pattern here too. Lauren had her light PR with Lucia. Lauren then had her heavy PR with Typic Dole Sight while Camila had a light one with Eatchu. And now Camila’s having a heavy one. C’s one is heavier simply because they’re much more famous than PRen (Tyren) were. So, guys, be patient. There’s really no point in getting angry and blaming them. It’s a waste of energy. It’s useless to blame them if they’re gonna continue to do so over the years to come. They’re just still trying to get past their original contracts and survive in the industry at the same time. Sooner or later, I HOPE, they will be free to tell the truth or the truth will come out on its own.

Well, I’m done. Jeez, that was long, wasn’t it? But I hope it was worth it. I hope I’ve cleared your heads a little bit and instilled some hope again. I also hope I made you smile with all those nicknames and my sarcasm. I especially hope that wherever you are, you’re having a good day, and if not, then I hope it has improved at least a little bit with this post. And thank you so much, Stuck. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice for the first time publicly/virtually. You, above all, keep on being one of the lights and NEVER let them turn you off. I love you guys. Stay safe. Stay strong. Stay patient. With love, F.

I leave you with these two pearls:

Number 1. Lauren said something else too. She said: “Don’t trust me. Go research. Go look this shit up yourself”. I know she said it for a completely different context, but I found it really funny given the situation.

Number 2. This is a small scene that automatically created itself in my head as soon as I finished listening to Wonder. I titled it: The sad and short story of the making of ‘Wonder’.

Enjoy:

*on the phone*

Shawl Mendicant: “Hey, buddy. I know you were a huge Fifth Harmony fan and I know you love my fake girlfriend, so I was thinking… could you help me? You know, I need her to stay relevant, but to do that, I also need to release music and completely take all the credit from other people because, you know, the most I do is change a sentence or two in my style to make people think that I wrote all my songs.”

Sam Smith: “………okay?”

Shawnita Menorrhagia: “So, I was wondering, can I copy your homework? You can totally refuse if you want to, but I’m hoping to appeal to the love you have for 5H and Camila, and maybe help a friend out?”

Sam Smith: “Yeah, sure, you can copy my homework. Anything for my girls. Just, change it up a bit so it doesn’t sound too obvious you just copied it.”

Shonas Mended: “Don’t worry. I’ve got this. Thanks, man.” - *ends the call*

Sam Smith looking at the phone with an incredulous expression and one hand over his heart: “I came out as a non-binary, you insensitive asshole!”

Shoes Mentionable from the other room: “Cameeela! He said yes!” *reaching then Camila and Lauren in the living room where Lauren is lying with her head resting on Camila’s legs who’s running her fingers through her hair with one hand and holding the book that she’s reading with the other one* “You were right, all I had to do was mention you girls.”

Lauren chuckling and continuing to pet Cleo who’s lying at the foot of the couch with one hand: “Told you”, to then adding: “And please, I know you’re excited because of the news but keep your voice down”, continuing to caress Sofi’s head who’s sleeping on top of her with the other one.

Shapeless Mentality: “Oh, sorry.”

Camila without looking away from her book: “Sam’s really nice. I’m sure they would’ve said yes even without the need of mentioning us.”

Lauren: “Hmm, I’m not so sure about that, babe. Yes, they’re very nice, but we’re powerful in their minds, so it was an added incentive for them to say yes.”

Shaved Mentholated: “Who are they? Weren’t we talking about Sam?”

Camila who was giggling at her girlfriend’s words:

Lauren:

Sinu from the kitchen:

Cleo who was nibbling her toy:

Even Thunder, Leo, and Eugene from outside into the yard:

*the end*

Chon Mendable: ‘Wonder’ - Sam Smith: ‘One Last Song’

____

OMG I am speechless. I’m really still digesting this whole story because it’s amazing but I wanted to start by saying hello to you and telling you my name, my name is Marite. It is a pleasure to meet you dear friend. I don’t want to write too much because your words are much more important than mine but I wanted to thank you for trusting me and my blog to tell me your story. That side of the story that, being new and not having been a harmonizer from the beginning, I never learned. I intended to ask for more information about Laucy’s Timeline but what you have told is a gem. A gem that shows that the bastards of the industry cannot fool the fans because we pay attention to everything and it is not easy for us to fall for their shit. I think the power we fans have is so great that if we all came together, we could bring down this whole fucking fake empire that they have created. That said, Laucy’s story is surprising. As planned and how each person involved had to do their part on the chessboard. Incredible. Now that you tell me that story, I think it fits the one I wrote in my once upon a time post. Sure, yours is true and has everything that mine doesn’t. I have tried to keep this blog open for all who wish to come and air their ideas, their thoughts, their tea. And you dear friend, you have been one of the best so far. You’ve given us that support that the fandom so badly needed and I really appreciate it. I also appreciate your humor, the nicknames have been so hilarious and I’m still laughing. Thank you for daring to tell this part of the story and reopen the can of worms of a PR that right now resurfaces with that Lauren interview. With a purpose, it’s true. And something tells me that we will see much more very soon. Thank you for your support, my friend. And you know, you have my blog at your disposal for whatever you need. And if you need to talk or anything else. I greatly appreciate that we can continue to keep this ship afloat among ourselves. Among a group of intelligent people who have been hurt by someone we have always loved very much even though we know the reason for all that. We can’t give up now because if we do it like you say they will win and I personally don’t plan to indulge them in that. Thank you very much for all dear friend and I hope you have a nice day. I send you a hug and I hope you stay safe.

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Late Stage Swiftgron Part 1

Update from November 2021 - I really don’t believe much of this is meaningful at all.  I don’t think they’re sitting around referencing one another on social media or anything but some of Dianna’s interactions with Karlie are interesting Dianna shows up explicitly in Taylor’s life a couple more times so I’m leaving these sections here.;

From here on out everything but the 2014 AMAs and Dianna’s somewhat shocking appearance at Taylor’s 2019 SNL performance are just odd social media shenanigans (or subtweets) between the two, and Taylor appearing to release at least one more song about Dianna (Babe in 2018) (and let’s be honest you can make a strong argument for The 1 being about Dianna as well other post 1989 songs.)

Some of this might be complete crack or coincidence but as you all know I want this to be the most thorough Swiftgron document possible.  

If anything it proves they both certainly still have similar interests and they really do seem to be in touch.

There are some interactions claimed by others to be Swiftgron related that I’m not going to include because they’re just a bit too reachy for me (though I completely support the theorizing!) but in general, if I personally can see the hint of a Swiftgron connection, I’m going to include it here. Draw your own conclusions and take everything, particularly the alleged subtweets/social media shenanigans, with a grain of salt.

And yes there’s tons of Kaylor and other Gaylor/Gaygron content that will be left out of this segment because this masterpost is focused on Swiftgron.  Someday it would be cool to make a giant masterpost/timeline that documents all of it, but for now it’s just going to be Swiftgron stuff. August 26, 2014 - Dianna tweets, and then deletes “Withdrawals, clearly…we had fun.” 

There’s no screen shot of this tweet but some retweets/responses of it remain:

If Dianna is indeed referencing the song Clean (in which their relationship is compared to an addiction hence, “withdrawals” from it) then Taylor would have had to give her advanced knowledge of the song since 1989 did not come out until October 2014.

Taylor did claim she ran 1989 by the muse that inspired it and they were both in LA in late August 2014. Maybe this is when.

November 1, 2014 - Taylor posts about Clean

November 19, 2014 - The 2014 AMAs Kaylorgron Explosion Extravaganza:

Taylor, Karlie, and Dianna are at the event.  Taylor and Karlie are clearly on a date and Dianna is there to present Sam Smith’s performance of I’m not the only one.  Dianna seems a bit out of her element/gloomy when interviewed on the red carpet and Taylor flexes Karlie hard, dancing with her throughout the night and even sitting on her lap during an interview.

Click here for photos, video, gifs, and a live L chat reaction to the night.

December 28, 2014 - The writer for the tv show The Originals, Carina Mackenzie, tweeted that 1989 was about Dianna:

It’s of course notable that someone in the industry is “confirming” Swiftgron on main (particularly before gaylor went mainstream with Kaylor being so obvious in 2015/2016) however what’s even more interesting and notable about this tweet is that an actor named Michael Trevino was on the show The Originals and he dated Jenna Ushkowitz from 2011-2014.

Not only that but Michael was at Dianna’s 26th birthday when Taylor was in attendance as well.

It’s possible that Michael witnessed Swiftgron in real life and spilled a bit to the writer of the TV show he was on.

January 5, 2015 - Taylor likes a Swiftgron related post on Tumblr of Dianna saying she’d go on the road with Taylor and carry her bags at the Giffoni Film Festival in 2012:

February 9, 2015 - Style is released as a single

February 13, 2015 - The Kaylor “Best Friends” on a road trip Vogue Spread comes out.  You’re probably familiar with it but if you aren’t google it.  It’s incredibly romantic and pda filled.

The Style music video is released on this day as well.

We don’t have to go through the whole video but one egg I just have to note is the cave pictured in the MV is in Morocco the same country Dianna seemed to flee to after Swiftgron was outed:

February 14, 2015 - Dianna tweets 143 remember those days (for some reason it has not been deleted) seemingly in response to the Kaylor vogue shoot:

143 is a code that means “I love you” that originated from Mister Rogers.  Both Taylor and Dianna have publicly shown that they are fans of his.  Taylor has even made certain songs 3 minutes and 41 seconds long seemingly referring to this number and wore a Mister Rogers pin on a jacket for a photoshoot once.

Here’s a bit more in depth analysis on the significance of the 143 post.

This tweet is how we know that it is 100% in Dianna’s character to occasionally subtweet Taylor and why a lot of this social media analysis has been done.  

February 16, 2015 - Just two days later Dianna attends a fashion show in which Karlie walks and is noted to “have kept a smirk on her face” during.  Dianna doesn’t clap at the end of the show and looks miserable in photos of the event:

February 17, 2015 - Taylor releases Wonderland

I’m going to pause here and discuss the song Wonderland for a brief moment because it is some of the most incredibly airtight evidence for Swiftgron available.

Dianna’s favorite book of all time is Alice in Wonderland.  She brought it up in interviews all the time, tweeted about it, auctioned off a signed copy of it for charity, her private Tumblr and instagram account are called whosirmesir which is a reference to it, her private Tumblr is filled with reblogs about Alice, and her public Tumblr was called fell down the rabbit hole.

So the fact that Taylor writes an entire song describing a relationship through the lens of and packing full of references to Alice in Wonderland is incredibly interesting.

Let’s take a look at some of these lyrics:

Flashing lights and we, took a wrong turn and we Fell down the rabbit hole (literally Dianna’s tumblr name and url)

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me (Dianna is famous for her beautiful almost hypnotic green eyes and yes they are green)

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds (queer coded)

Too in love to think straight (queer coded)

But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams (seems to reference when they were outed) You searched the world for something else (Dianna very publicly went travelling around the world right after April 2013 when they seem to break up)

Taylor literally put Dianna’s Tumblr URL in the song.  Frankly I’m kind of shocked she released this song at all it is so obviously and clearly about Dianna.  Truly a Swiftgron anthem!

Back to the timeline...

March 8, 2015 - Taylor posts Flamingos for her dad’s birthday:

The caption was “Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for all the unconditional love, sarcastic comments, and interesting Christmas presents.”

May 1, 2015 - Dianna posts a flamingo for her birthday (post is now deleted):

The caption was “This is 29. Spoiled rotten. Funny enough, at work they were painting the hallways white and the roses (hallway doors) red, then I actually went to Wonderland (@AliceUnderLdn) and came home to a surprise flamingo. Here we go. Another year around the sun…feeling lucky and loved and loved and lucky.”

Taylor also gave Emily, another rumored ex, a flamingo bandana for her birthday.  i also think it’s odd that Dianna mentions Wonderland specifically in the post.

January 15, 2016 - Dianna’s engagement to Winston is announced and Kaylors notice Taylor is liking sad posts on Tumblr including several posts related to Clean:

November 7, 2016 - Lorde’s birthday party where Kaylor is together in public for the last time for 20 months.

January 5, 2017 - Claire (who is still very close with Taylor) comments on one of Dianna’s Instagram posts):

March 2, 2017 - Dianna posts her James Dean inStyle UK photo to Instagram:

This is actually the second time she has posted this as a throwback photo.  She also posted it on February 4, 2016 with simply the caption “TBT” and did not include the “rebel without a clue” bit which is a reference to James Dean (Rebel Without a Cause). She’s never posted the same TBT photo twice before or after this (as of the writing of this post in October 2020).

It I may be permitted to go real far out on a limb here it’s almost as if she wanted people to connect that photo of her in the UK InStyle magazine to James Dean.  James Dean is of course the way Taylor describes her lover in the song Style.  

At any rate it’s very odd that it’s the only photo she’s posted twice whether it’s related to Taylor or not.

April 25, 2017 - Fans notice Dianna is having her script tattoo removed:

This is significant because a part of the tattoo was dedicated to Alice in Wonderland - it said “We’re all mad here” 

Tattoo removal is a years long process:

So it’s possible she started getting it removed around the time that Wonderland came out.

It’s also possible part of the tattoo was dedicated to Lea (the part that said “here I am”) so this whole removal situation is very interesting.

In 2019 she was still getting it removed and commented this at a Cafe Carlyle session:

"i was like i don't know i wanna explain all my tattoos or the one that i'm getting removed on my side...you know you're like...WHATEVER we're stopping we're moving on"

February 13, 2018 - Dianna attends the Carolina Herrera fashion show, so does Karlie. Dianna is introduced to Karlie by Derek Blasberg and very audibly calls Karlie “gorgeoouusss” as they meet. 

Kayda play “Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift.

Click here to keep reading!

[destielfanfic]

My First Destiel Fic, vol.6

Thank you guys for sharing your memories! My First Destiel Fic is a nostalgic survey open to any destiel fan and it has a simple goal - to celebrate fics that were our gateway into a wonderful world of destiel shipping. Thank you, fic writers, you are our heroes!

from @tapnbluesnlindyhopdancer​

I started watching SPN in mid-2015, between S10 & S11. After watching most of the show, I watched some convention videos that mentioned Destiel and fan fiction. Out of curiosity in mid-2016, I searched online for fan fiction, and found A Hand by thecouchcarrot as my first to read. That fic hooked me in and I fell down the Destiel rabbit hole shortly after. 

All fic titles link directly to the fic, when possible, we have added link to our review or submitted rec post.

A Hand by thecouchcarrot [M, 23,500 word count, posted 2011] (our review)

Dean's busy trying to re-soulify his brother, but Cas needs help. Maybe it's time Dean gave it to him. Ch. 15: Dean glared indignantly. "I find the term 'lovebirds' to be offensive. We prefer to be called 'sex-falcons.

from @ivebeenpossessedbysatan​

Hey, I saw your thing about the first fanfic we ever read, and while I don't remember that exact one, I know one of the first ones I ever read were We Found Love (In A Hopeless Place) by talesofperdition and Carry On by TamrynEradani which is no longer on AO3 but I have a copy saved, so we're good. Honestly, these two set my fanfiction bar pretty high, and both of them I've read a few times. I started in 2013, so I've been here a while lol

We Found Love (In A Hopeless Place) by TomiSama04 TalesFromPerdition [NC-17, 405,000 word count, posted 2012-13] (submitted rec post)

Dean and Sam Winchester struggle to survive when their alcoholic father abandons them. Castiel Novak has turned to drugs in his own father's absence. As their lives spiral out of control, can their new friendship save them, or will it be a catalyst for destruction?

Carry On by tamryneradani [NC-17, 148,000 word count, posted 2013] (our review)  NOTE - the fic is indeed deleted from the hosting platforms by the author. This is our gentle reminder to always download your favorite fic and leave nice comments to the authors! Guys, I cannot stress enough how important it is to DL your favorite fic. No fic is too big or too popular to be safe. 

When Sam gets into Stanford, Dean needs a bigger paycheck than Bobby’s garage can give him. Luckily, he knows a guy.

from @aetherology​

god I dont remember my first destiel fic — I came into the fandom alongside castiel — but I do specifically remember the first fic I read that resonated with me & is one I still continously reread to this day ( I believe my ao3 history says I've opened it almost 300 times by now lmao ) if that counts. "an exercise in worthless" by beastofthesky is one of those fics that, in my opinion, really does keep true to canon characterization even in an au setting & is such a solid read time & time again

An Exercise in ‘Worthless’ by beastofthesky [M/NC-17, 27,000 word count, posted 2012] (our review)

"I mean, you’re–” He gestures at Cas, in his neat oxford shirt and nice pants. “–and I’m a high school dropout who tattoos for a living.” Wherein Dean makes a hefty living as a tattoo artist who owns the space next to Gabriel's cafe. Sam attends the local university. When Gabe's cousin comes to live with him while starting grad school at Sam's university, Dean thinks for sure that all his negative karma's coming to bite him in the ass because Cas clearly has a thing for Sam. No one would ever choose him over Sam. That's just logic.

If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos! And if you found our recs useful, let us know by Liking and/or Reblogging our posts!

You can find all My First Destiel Fic posts under this tag!

[burkymakar]

Hi my favorite athletic reader. If possible could you post anything important from Baughers new article on Gabe?

lol i feel so used. it's under the cut haha

Gabriel Landeskog rolled up to the Avalanche practice rink, a 19-year-old figuring he was heading into a meeting about the upcoming 2012-13 season. A potential lockout loomed, and he wondered if he and his teammates were about to get information on what would happen next.

But only one teammate was there when Landeskog got inside Family Sports Center in Centennial, Colo.: captain Milan Hejduk. Then-Colorado coach Joe Sacco was there, too. They wanted to speak to Landeskog privately.

At the time, Hejduk was entering his 14th season with Colorado. The veteran was the only player left from the Avalanche’s 2001 Stanley Cup team, and he knew his career was winding down. He was no longer a top forward on the team and didn’t feel it would be right to remain captain. Someone else needed to take the role, Landeskog remembers Hejduk telling him that day.

“And I think that person is you,” Hejduk said.

The young winger was caught off guard. He let out a stunned laugh. At the time, no permanent captain in league history had ever been named at so young an age. A tornado of emotions followed: shock, excitement and — naturally — nerves. He called his dad immediately after the conversation.

“You’ve got to this point being who you are,” Tony Landeskog told his son. “Don’t try to be somebody you’re not.”

That advice stuck with Landeskog, and from that day forward, his “C”-embroidered jersey has been a constant for the Avalanche. It was there through the promising years with Nathan MacKinnon, Ryan O’Reilly and Matt Duchene, and it was there when that core fell apart. It was there through the pain of rebuilding, and it was there as the Avalanche emerged as a league power.

Now, its era in Denver could be coming to a close.

For the first time in his NHL career, Landeskog is a pending unrestricted free agent. And after a decade in Denver, he doesn’t know what’s coming next.

“The uncertainty is something I’ve never dealt with,” Landeskog says. “I’ve always known that come September, October, I’m going to pull on that Avs jersey.”

Landeskog has repeatedly said he wants to stay with Colorado, and the Avalanche want to bring him back. But with star defenseman Cale Makar set to receive a massive raise in restricted free agency and the Avalanche up against the salary cap, general manager Joe Sakic is facing tough decisions this offseason.

Landeskog wants long-term security. Currently, he’s in limbo.

“I can’t help but be honest with you that I’m a little bit disappointed that it’s gotten this far and it’s had to come to this point,” Landeskog says.

Now 28, Landeskog could be looking at his last chance to sign a major, multiyear contract. The Avalanche, meanwhile, must decide how much they are willing to spend — and for how many years — on a physical, two-way forward approaching 30.

Teams must submit protection lists Saturday for the July 21 Kraken expansion draft, and if Colorado doesn’t protect Landeskog, Seattle will have a window to bargain with him before free agency begins July 28. Landeskog’s reputation as a leader and production (52 points in 54 games this past season and 171 in 181 over the past three) will make him a popular target should he reach the open market. Teams like the Kraken, Blues, Kings, Flyers and Oilers jump out as potential suitors.

Talks between the Avalanche and their captain have increased in frequency in recent days, but the sides are still far away from an agreement, according to a league source.

“We’ll see what happens,” Landeskog says. “I’m still hopeful that we can agree on something and come to terms, but if it was up to me, I would have liked it to be done eight months ago, 10 months ago.”

In the nine seasons since Hejduk handed over the captaincy, Landeskog has gone from a green-but-mature up-and-comer to the calming presence on an elite team. He’s now a parent, one of the older players on the Avalanche and their unquestioned leader.

“It’s been a constant learning curve,” he says.

He’s grown, and he’s growing. The question is if that will continue with the Avalanche.

One day during his first season as captain, Landeskog stood in the Family Sports dressing room for a players-only meeting, taking note of teammates in their 30s, veterans who had spent more than a decade in the NHL. In only his second season, Landeskog could hear his voice shake.

“It probably was pretty laughable how nervous I was,” he says.

The Avalanche were in the midst of a rough stretch in what amounted to a season of rough stretches. Landeskog leaned on older players — Hejduk, Jean-Sebastien Giguere, Paul Stastny, O’Reilly and Erik Johnson, to name a few — and one suggested a team meeting.

Landeskog doesn’t recall what he said that day, but he remembers the nerves — that quiver in his voice — and how the older players had his back. Others chimed in, and the team dissected what was going wrong.

Ultimately, the group was simply a transitioning team without enough talent to contend, and though Landeskog was captain that year, the team used a leadership-by-committee approach. Landeskog credits his teammates’ support for making the job easier, and Stastny remembers him being unafraid to ask questions.

Landeskog says he asked about everything from travel-day logistics to organizing team functions. The communication didn’t translate to on-ice success that year, as the team finished 16-25-7, but it laid the groundwork for how Landeskog still views his role as captain.

“That’s how leaders learn, too: They learn from other guys,” former teammate Greg Zanon says. “I think he was born for the job.”

Before giving Landeskog the “C,” Sacco and then-Avalanche general manager Greg Sherman both reached out to Hejduk, wanting to know what he’d think of the young Swede taking over the role. Landeskog, who had just won the Calder Trophy, hadn’t been a name on Hejduk’s radar for the captaincy because of his age, but the more he thought about the decision, the more it made sense.

So he voiced his approval for the player 17 years his junior.

“What can you say negative about Gabe?” Hejduk says today.

“It was only a matter of time,” Stastny adds. “If it was fast-tracked a year, I don’t think anyone really cared. Everyone knew it was coming.”

Still, Landeskog was nervous. He’d played in only 82 NHL games and was still trying to figure out the league himself. He didn’t know how his teammates would react to such a young captain. Part of him still thinks he might not have been ready.

Despite Landeskog’s concerns, the announcement went over well with the team. Duchene and winger David Jones tweeted their congratulations, and defenseman Ryan O’Byrne remembers liking the decision when he read the news on TSN’s website.

“The only conversations I had with teammates were, ‘Gabe’s the captain. That’s so great,’” O’Byrne remembers. “Why would we wait to give him the captaincy? There’s no reason to wait. He (was) ready. He’s just that type of person.”

“Even the older guys on the team looked up to him,” adds former Avalanche left winger Cody McLeod.

Landeskog’s makeup had begun earning praise from the second he arrived in North America from Sweden. He played major junior hockey for the Kitchener Rangers in the Ontario Hockey League and became the team’s first European-born captain. Sherman praised his confidence after drafting Landeskog second in 2011, saying he was mature beyond his years.

“It was like he was 30 years old already, the way he handled himself, the way he talked to us, talked to the media,” says Ryan O’Reilly, now the Blues captain and still a friend of Landeskog’s. “Everyone respected him right away. It’s rare. It’s why he was named captain so young.”

Adds Hejduk: “I had half the maturity Gabe had at 18.”

Shortly after learning he’d become captain, Landeskog came to the Pepsi Center (now Ball Arena) for a passing-of-the-torch ceremony. Hejduk presented his successor with a burgundy Avalanche sweater featuring a white “C,” and Landeskog pulled it over his white button-up shirt. The two shook hands and posed for cameras.

When Landeskog looks back at those pictures, he can’t help but notice how young he looks. His beard had yet to grow in, and he’d fashioned his hair — lighter than it is now — to be spiky in the front.

“I feel old when I look back at those pictures, because I was definitely a little kid standing there next to (Hejduk),” he says.

“The first year, year and a half, with him, if we went out for dinner, it was like he wasn’t even allowed to have a glass of wine or a beer,” says former Avalanche center John Mitchell, adding that Landeskog struggled to win poker games on team flights.

Landeskog, who has gone from too young to drink to now sponsored by Bud Light, believes he might have been too uptight early on in his captaincy. He’s learned to relax a bit more — that a season is long and sometimes the best approach is to focus on himself. He can’t expect others to work hard or play well if he’s not doing it himself.

The Avalanche’s decision to toss Landeskog into the fray as a teenage captain allowed him to learn the role before the team entered the win-now mode it is in currently. But Colorado’s progression hasn’t been linear. In 2016-17, the Avalanche finished last in the league by 21 points. Landeskog frequently had to face tough questions from reporters when he didn’t have answers.

“It definitely takes a toll on you when you have to do that,” he says. “But at the same time, I always knew that was part of the responsibility and part of the job. Playing in the NHL, being able to wear the ‘C’ in the NHL, it’s a dream not many people get to experience.”

And in 2017-18, tides began to shift for the Avalanche. MacKinnon had his first superstar-level season, finishing second in Hart Trophy voting, and Landeskog and winger Mikko Rantanen both scored more than 20 goals. The trio ascended to become arguably the best line in hockey, and smart drafting and savvy trades gave Colorado a deep defensive core, led by Makar, the Norris Trophy runner-up as a 22-year-old this past season.

As expectations have risen, the team and its captain are still searching for a deep playoff run. The pieces are in place, and the Avalanche reached the second round each of the past three seasons. But they haven’t broken through.

This past season, the Landeskog-captained Avalanche reached the regular-season pinnacle, winning the Presidents’ Trophy, given annually to the team with the best record in the league, and they were a consensus favorite to win the Stanley Cup entering the playoffs.

Landeskog dominated the Blues in a first-round sweep, igniting the Avalanche with a Gordie Howe hat trick (fight, assist, goal) in Game 1.

“He’s the captain for a reason,” Makar said after that game.

But Colorado faltered in its next postseason matchup, against Vegas, letting a 2-0 series lead slip away and losing in the second round for the third consecutive year. The most complete Avalanche team of Landeskog’s career couldn’t get over the hump.

“I’m proud of this group,” a dejected Landeskog said after the game. “I’m excited to be a part of this group. I love all the guys in there.”

And they love him, too. Ahead of the season, MacKinnon called him “the perfect captain,” and Avalanche coach Jared Bednar described the captain as their emotional leader, someone who drives them into the fight on a nightly basis.

“Usually those types of guys, top-three picks, are franchise players,” Hejduk says. “It seems like that’s the case with Gabe. I hope he’s going to finish his whole career with the Avalanche.”

That’s what Hejduk did, spending all 14 of his seasons with Colorado, but it’s not a common path in today’s NHL.

After 10 years with the Avalanche and nine as its captain, and with so much shared history, Landeskog could be the exception.

Since he was 19, it’s felt like he would be. But the coming weeks will show if that reality has shifted.

[majorpenalties]

Hello.

Since MR and SN are no longer with SPG since their shitty behavior has come to light- I want to share my story since I’m seeing a lot of people saying “it was just them being friendly, who cares?”

I was a fan of SPG back from like 2012(?)-2015(?) maybe 2016. I remember that SPG was coming to my town in 2013 for a holiday special and I was SO excited to have a chance to possibly meet the band.

I was friends with the host of the event and asked if I could help out which was granted. During the setup for the meet and greet the band had come in to sit down. I was busy walking by to get everything set up but apparently SN and MR had asked me to come over. I just assumed they needed some of the waters I hadn’t put out yet, so I obliged.

The conversation started out casual: just the simple “how are you? What’s your name? Do you live around here? What’s your favorite song? Etc” before the guys eventually asked “how old are you?” Now, I have a baby face. At the age of 17 I probably looked about 13-14 with makeup on. Cheekily, I asked “how old do I look?” Since people usually guessed wrong. I was told that I had to tell them so I did. 17. 5 months away from 18. I was met with a laugh and a “too bad.” Before being shoo’d away to work. I didn’t think much of it because I was a DUMB TEENAGER. Later, I was asked by SN if I would be attending Y*umacon, the local convention. I said yes and he said he would “make sure to visit me there.”

Finally it’s October and Y*umacon has come. I’m 18 now. SN had kept his word and immediately recognized me working. He called me over to their booth where I greeted everyone before starting a conversation with him. I don’t remember much as this was 6 years ago and it was a loud convention dealers room. But I do know this ended with him giving me his phone number and asking to hang out after the show. I agreed.

I attended the show that Friday night and we talked until nearly 5am as I was on patrol duty. He walked with me. At around 4:45am he asked if I wanted to come back to his hotel room, which at the time i said no. He insisted and said “it’s only me staying there. I always get my own room.” I reminded him that I was working until 8am. He tried convincing me to skip out on part of my shift which again, I declined. Before he left, he kissed me and told me not to tell anyone. I, of course, texted all of my friends who were fans. They were supportive- except one who thought it was weird that a grown man would go after such a young girl. But I didn’t want to listen.

The night that followed was the same, but instead my shift ended early. The difference was: had sex that night. This would become a regular occourance at that covention each year until they got banned from the convention for hooking up with convention staff. At least that’s what the rumor was.

In between conventions we would text regularly. Talked about me going out to Cali to stay with him for a week or two. I said I wouldn’t unless I was his official girlfriend or he paid for me to fly out. He chose the latter. But I was in college so it never happened.

Eventually I got a boyfriend and SN and I stopped talking. As an adult in her mid-20s I now know how disgusting this was. How I was not the only person. I’m glad (ugh) that at least they waited until I was of legal age, but was there anyone they didn’t wait for? I can strongly and safely say that as an ADULT at the age of 24 I view anyone under the age of 20 as a child still and I would NEVER look at them in a sexual manner. That’s gross. Because the emotional maturity isn’t there. It isn’t. And it isn’t right what happened to me. I didn’t understand I was being taken advantage of. That’s disgusting.

And I know I’m going to be met with backlash for telling my story. I know some people are going to call me a liar because they don’t want to see their “faves” in a negative light, even if it’s their true colors and not the ones you’re seeing in rose-tinted glasses. I know some people are going to say “why would you come forward now?” Because I was scared and it took me years to process that I was taken advantage of.

I’m sorry to anyone else that this has happened to. And I’m sorry to anyone that really enjoyed the character those two people portrayed to the public and are now finding out who they really are.

I literally came back on this app to post this. That’s how strong I feel about this subject and my story.

I think the band has done a phenomenal job addressing this and moving on without those members. I do sincerely want to thank them and apologize for any trouble.

[alightwhendarknessfell]

Dear Andy,

I have debated posting this for a while, mostly because I wanted to get it right. With the WSTW re-record release approaching and things coming to light about the actions of a former member I feel that now is as good a time as ever. I don’t know if you’ll read this, but it is something that over the past year I have wanted to do. I have been unfair and overcritical and at times, downright mean. I was judging you and your actions based on my own interpretations. The events of the past few weeks have shown me that those interpretations were wrong. So here it goes…

I have been a fan of not only Black Veil, but of you going back to 2008-2009, when everything was still on Myspace. I vividly remember eagerly awaiting the release of WSTW and making my mom drive me to the local Hot Topic to pick it up the day it came out. I remember going to my first show in a small little bar in Raleigh, NC that sadly is no more, and I remember being dressed in war paint along with my best friends. I know that it may not seem like it, but I to this day consider myself a fan. The band that you created was pivotal for my teenage years and to this day the community you helped build means the world to me.

I will admit that it was my passion and love for that community that was the root of my criticism. Despite what you or others reading this may think, I do not hate you, not at all. There have been times that I felt let down, cheated, and disappointed as a fan, but the events of the past few weeks have really opened my eyes. I will get that to that point, but I did not and do not hate you. As a person I speak up, at times when I probably shouldn’t, but I do when I feel strongly about something. I have certainly made the mistake too many times of speaking before I had all the information or trusting my own judgement on things, I knew nothing about. I am trying to get better at not doing that.

I can see how some of the things I have said, condoned, or even given a platform to were mean, uncalled for, hurtful, and regrettably untrue at times. I have had this blog and been in this fandom for over a decade. I was 13-14 years old when I first made this blog, and I am almost 25 now. I look back on some of the things I said, and I deeply regret them. In 2015 this blog was accidentally deleted, and honestly it was probably for the best that some of my earlier posts are gone. Regardless, I have let myself get carried away or swept up in drama perpetuated by others (and sometimes myself). I have said things, even in the past few years that I shouldn’t have, things that could be hurtful. While my intention was never to hurt you, I think it’s safe to say that myself and others lose sight of the impact of our words when they are said behind a screen, to people we think will never read them. As a teenager or even in my early 20’s I didn’t think that someone ‘famous’ would see what I wrote, surely it would all get lost in the sea of tweets, posts and comments.

That does not make saying those things right.

I would like to personally apologize to you for not considering the fact that you might see some of those words. That you are a person with emotions just like everyone else, that could be hurt by them. I am sorry for letting others get away with saying cruel things, even if I pushed back on them or didn’t directly comment. I would be lying if I said that the fame (or infamy), status and notoriety I got for my words didn’t affect my actions. It’s sad, but true that often times more attention comes out of negativity than kindness.

As someone who has been bullied and suffers from mental illnesses, I should have left some things unsaid. I do not know you personally, I only know what you have shared. Seeing you speak about your own struggles with mental illness over the recent years has really given me a much-needed reality check. I have related to some of the things you’ve talked about more than you know. Some of the things that others and I have been critical of were clearly not the result of malicious intent but of your own hardships that we were blind to. 

I think people forget, and I know I did, that when this band took off you were just a teenager yourself. To think that at 18 or 19 someone in your situation would act ‘right’ all of the time and never make mistakes is ridiculous. Not only were you a kid trying to figure the world out, but I think it has become clear that you were dealing with people who used you for their own selfish gains. That would be hard for anyone, regardless of their age. 

I have never dealt with addiction on a personal level, but I emphasize with whatever pain you had to endure in your own struggles with it. You are right when you said that no one sees themselves becoming an alcoholic at twenty years old, and I am sorry for not being more sympatric in the past. One of my biggest regrets in all of this was hearing that during the time that I was probably the harshest to you (around 2016) was when you were struggling the most with trying to be sober. 

I am happy that you are sober, I am glad that you were able to make it out of that cycle that consumes so many people. I hope that others who are struggling are inspired by your dedication to living a healthier life. In an industry where it is too easy to fall back into toxic behaviors and coping mechanisms, I am glad you have found strength.  

I would like to speak on why I have been so negative in the past (and at times hateful). As I said, what you created in Black Veil meant a lot to me and so many others. This band has been a part of my life for so long and I have met some of the most amazing people through it. I have met people that I can honestly say I love because of this community. This fan base gave me a home when I felt alone and gave me something to identify with as a kid. That’s why I started cosplaying as you, sure it’s a hobby of mine and aesthetically I am a fan of 80’s glam metal, but it was mostly to pay tribute. I am not a ‘traditional’ artist in the sense of paintings and drawings, my media is makeup and costume. The WSTW/STWOF era is what I consider my era as a fan, the one that I identified with the most. 

I admit, I was upset when it ended. That’s a stupid reason to be upset, obviously all bands change and there’s nothing wrong with that, but that’s how I felt. The source of my jadedness was not the adoption of a new look, it was deeper than that. Around 2016 was when I had the most animosity because I saw what I thought at the time was you ‘giving up’ on Black Veil. I felt like the ‘old’ fans weren’t wanted anymore and like most people, I felt the need to protect and defend what I loved.

With the introduction of your solo act, it felt like the community I cared so much about was being destroyed and I couldn’t understand why you were doing that. I was blinded by my own judgements. What came off as hate was really just hurt. I know I am not the only ‘OG’ fan who felt that way, and I took that to mean I was justified. In hindsight it is clear, none of us had any idea what was really going on with the band and certain individuals who were bringing it down. At various times it seemed like you hated the old era and as a fan who stood there from the beginning that felt like a gut punch.  I let my own feelings make me bitter, and that was wrong. I let others fuel that bitterness, including ones who were actively stabbing you in the back. 

I remember around 2012 I made a very critical post of an article you did in Kerrang talking about your struggles with alcohol. I criticized you for not saying more and even said that what you shared was nothing in comparison to a former member’s struggles with addiction. When I received this DM from that individual saying that they approved of my words and that I was ‘spot on’ I felt embolden. I deeply, deeply regret letting such a toxic and horrible person influence me. That post I wrote was wrong, ignorant and immature. That post was one that got deleted in 2015, but I still regret having written something so heartless. 

(screen shot is from 2012, this was a Twitter DM from said individual. I did not share that post with them, they found it on their own and contacted me. ) 

I see now that you were not turning your back on Black Veil, you were trying to save it. The interview you did with Ryan Downey brought me to tears. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have something you spent your whole life fighting for be taken over by an abusive, evil, and selfish person. I feel like I have gained a better perspective of where you and the band were at over the past three weeks and I am sorry you are not free to say more. I am sorry for defending this person because they did not deserve a single fan.

Some who takes advantage of another’s passion and youth because they lack the creativity and ability to do it on their own is stealing, plain and simple. I am sorry that you have been tethered to such a horrible person for so long. I deeply admire your perseverance, strength and determination in taking back what that person tried to take. To be willing to destroy something you love and care about to keep it from the hands of evil is an incredible act of dedication to it. 

I would like to end this with a few more things. I know I have been critical of people that you love. I do admit I have taken those criticisms too far at times where they crossed into bullying. I am sorry to Juliet for being unfairly harsh, I am not a hateful person, but I have allowed myself to act that way. There are certainly things that I have said that I stand by, and there are things that I may not agree with or understand, but I think there are ways that I can voice my own opinions respectfully, without being mean. 

In an ideal world I would love to sit down with you, or anyone else I may have hurt and have a discussion about it, but hopefully this gets my point across well enough. I do not intend to delete my blog or stop accepting posts (although I will try and make an effort to get rid of toxic posts. It will just take a while to sort through them all). While I can’t promise to never say anything critical again, I can promise to stop the hatefulness. I am promising to make a real effort to clean up some of the toxicity towards you that is unfair and unwarranted. To facilitate a more respectful, yet still honest and open dialogue. I do take pride in my blog being one of the last places of discussion and community for fans, but perhaps without the cruelty that been allowed to fester. If you are someone reading this who comes here to be mean and hateful, I’m sorry but it has to stop. This was never intended to be a ‘hate blog’, but I will openly admit I understand why people thought it was.  

If you take anything away from this, or if you even read this, please let it be this. I consider myself a supporter of you and what you have created. I want nothing more than to see you succeed and be happy. I hope that you are able to overcome the struggles in your life and that you are able to find meaning and true happiness if you have not already. Although it may not appear so, I have always routed for you. It may seem like nothing you do is ever good enough for the fans (or at least some of them) but for me at least that is not true. You have been given an impossible task of trying to please thousands of people, of never being allowed to fuck up, and having past transgressions brought up again and again. For that I am sorry, and I am sorry for having played a part in that. 

You deserve to be treated as a person, not as an object or persona. I whole heartedly believe you are a decent person, who maybe has flaws and room for improvement, but so do I and so does everyone else. I do believe there are fundamentally bad people out there, people who deserve the karma they have coming. Those are the people that purposefully hurt, lie, manipulate, cheat and deceive others for personal gain. I think especially in the past few weeks we have been shown who those people are. Yet, I don’t believe you are one of those people. 

To everyone out there who is reading this, please give people the chance to change. Be okay with admitting when you are wrong. Allow people to grow and become better. Over the past year my mentality and perspective on the world has shifted dramatically. Two years ago I couldn’t have written this post, but as I enter my mid-twenties I am able to look back and say ‘this is not the person I want to be, this is not the person I want people to think I am’. So all I can do is admit my shortcomings, apologize, and be better. 

Andy, if you read this and made it to the end, thank you. You are in no way obligated to respond to or accept any of what I said. I just wanted to put this out there with the hopes that it in some way, or that some part of this, lessened some of the hurt I regrettably have caused. 

- Ren <3 

P.S the banner of my blog is not calling you or the band trash. It’s a fan term for when someone is really into something. Saying “I am ______ trash” means you love that thing. I know it’s weird, but it’s supposed to be an inside joke for other fans, it’s a positive thing. So, when I say “I am 100% 2010 Black Veil trash” I am talking about myself being a massive fan of that era. I don’t think you or the band is trashy, if I did, I wouldn’t be spending money on tickets, merch and shoving blue contacts into my eyes for 10+ years. 

[wrestlingisfake]

G1 Climax 31 preview

The G1 Climax is an annual heavyweight tournament in New Japan Pro Wrestling. It's typically one of the top events in Japanese wrestling, because the biggest stars in the biggest company try to deliver their best performances. The tournament runs from September 18 to October 21.

All 19 shows (!) will stream live and on-demand at njpwworld.com for 999 yen ($9 US) per month. Because of the billing cycle, you have to pay for 2 months to see it all as it happens, or you can wait till October 1 and try to catch up in one month. Watching all 91 tournament matches (!!!) can be kind of grueling (especially if you're trying to keep up with other wrestling at the same time), so it's not for everyone. But there are bound to be some highlights worth going out of your way to check out.

The G1 is a round-robin tournament, with 20 wrestlers separated into two blocks. Each man wrestles everyone else in his block, and the one with the best win-loss record is the block winner. The winner of A Block then meets the winner of B Block in a final match to decide the winner of the tournament. The winner of the G1 Climax receives a trophy and a contract for an IWGP world heavyweight title match at Wrestle Kingdom 16 in January 2022.

Ordinarily the G1 would be meticulously planned out to ensure the most marketable main event at Wrestle Kingdom, so only a handful of guys have any real shot at winning the tournament. However, the pandemic has thrown off a lot of New Japan's plans. Also, since Wrestle Kingdom has expanded to a multi-day event, more and more wrinkles have been added to the traditional "#2 guy wins the G1 to challenge the #1 guy for the belt" formula. So this year's G1 has a lot more potential to surprise us--whether such surprises will be good or bad remains to be seen.

A Block

Shingo Takagi - The reigning IWGP world heavyweight champion. If he wins the tournament, he'll have the right to choose his opponent for Wrestle Kingdom. If there was ever a year to book the champion to win the G1, this might be it. Amid some tumultuous booking this summer, Takagi came from out of nowhere to capture the title, and they've put a lot of effort into making him look worthy of the honor. So it might be cool for him to run through the field, and choose a challenger that couldn't be here, such as Will Ospreay. However, the smart money is on Shingo losing two or three matches to fall short of winning the block and to set up challengers for other shows.

Kota Ibushi - The winner of the last two G1 Climax tournaments, in 2019 and 2020. Few wrestlers have won the G1 three times, and no one has done three in a row. But if anyone can do it, it's Ibushi. He was crushed by losing the world title right after he unified it, and he's clearly in Shingo Takagi's sights (they'll square off on October 3). If he doesn't win the block, I expect him to get very, very close.

Tetsuya Naito - He won the tournament in 2013 and 2017. Naito started 2021 by losing the IWGP heavyweight and IWGP intercontinental titles to Ibushi, who unified them into the current world title. Since then, he's been on the back burner; if he's going to be back on top in 2022, this is where we'll find out. He's the leader of Los Ingobernables de Japon, and Takagi is a member, so their match on September 26 will be particularly interesting.

Zack Sabre Jr. - One of the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions, Dangerous Tekkers. Sabre's technical wrestling presents a challenge for any opponent in the G1, so he can easily play spoiler, but he's probably going to finish in the middle of the pack. I'm particularly looking forward to Sabre vs. Yano on October 13, because their match in last year's G1 was a fun mix of chain wrestling and dirty tricks.

Tomohiro Ishii - One of the NEVER trios champions. Ishii is never going to win the whole thing but he reliably delivers solid performances throughout the tournament. His matches with Ibushi (September 18), Ibushi (September 23), and Naito (October 9) should all be must-see for hard-hitting, what-the-fuck intensity.

KENTA - He can go, but he relies heavily on stalling and other cheap heel tactics to slow down the action, so it's hard for me to get into his matches these days. I'm sure he'll really cut loose for some of his block matches, but it's hard to guess which ones. My main interest is in seeing him go up against his Bullet Club teammates Yujiro Takahashi (September 23) and Tanga Loa (October 13).

Great-O-Khan - This is his first G1, after doing a run-in last year to help Will Ospreay and form the United Empire faction. O-Khan's got an interesting look, but his in-ring work hasn't been blowing anybody away. This should be the clearest test of his upside--if New Japan thinks he can be a serious headliner, he should pick up at least five wins, and maybe even six or seven. I'm not confident that will happen.

Toru Yano - The KOPW 2021 champion. Ordinarily Yano is the comic relief guy, whose block matches are built around silly spots so that the other participants each a get sort of a night off. However, Yano's recent feud with Chase Owens seems to have reawakened the brawler gimmick he had years ago, so it's not clear which Yano is going to show up for the tournament. Either way, I would expect Yano to pull of some key upsets to throw off everyone's predictions.

Tanga Loa - Loa is making his G1 debut. Since joining New Japan in 2016, he's been almost exclusively a tag team guy. It's not unusual for tag teams to compete in the G1, but Loa and Tama Tonga seemed determined to stay out and focus on the tag division. So his appearance here is a little surprising, and probably indicates that New Japan didn't have a lot of other options. He should do well in the ring, but some guys are going to finish 4-5 or worse, and I think he'll be one of them.

Yujiro Takahashi - Yujiro went 1-8 in last year's tournament, because somebody's gotta lose a lot, and that's his role. He's almost certainly going to to do the Bullet Club bit where either Kenta (September 23) or Loa (October 3) will talk him into laying down for the good of the team, but then he'll refuse at the last second. The most interesting thing about Yuje right now is he's a part of the "House of Torture" subgroup emerging within Bullet Club, but I don't expect that to matter much in his block matches.

B Block

Kazuchika Okada - The winner of the 2012 and 2014 tournament. Okada hasn't held a championship in nearly two years, and that's unlike him. So he's an easy pick to win this block and perhaps win the whole G1. The only problem is that he's got some stiff competition from other favorites like Hiroshi Tanahashi (September 19) and SANADA (October 4). He probably needs to win at least one of those two matches to make it to the finals--if he loses both, I'm not sure a 7-2 run is enough.

Hiroshi Tanahashi - The IWGP United States champion, and the winner of the G1 in 2007, 2014, and 2018. This will be his 20th appearance in the tournament, so he's got the decisive edge in experience. Tana is always going to be presented as a strong contender to win the block. But the only reason to have him win the whole thing would be to do an "aging legend makes one more run at the top" story, and they already did that three years ago. So look for him to have good matches, but don't count on him making it to the finals.

SANADA - He was the runner-up in last year's G1, which was a little baffling because I felt his booking that year was designed to build to a huge victory. He's felt like an afterthought since then. Will New Japan give him a lot of wins to remind everyone he's still a rising force? I'm really not sure.

EVIL - On paper, he's a big deal because he betrayed Los Ingobernables de Japon to win the IWGP heavyweight and intercontinental titles last year. But after Evil lost those belts his stock dropped. New Japan still trots him out like he's a major threat to the top champions, but he just does a bunch of low blows and then loses anyway. I think they'll protect him, because they're going somewhere with this "House of Torture" stuff. But I can't believe he'll win the block, except possibly to troll the audience.

Taichi - One of the IWGP heavyweight tag team champions, Dangerous Tekkers. I was always down on Taichi but he grabbed my attention with his weird kicking contest against Kota Ibushi last year. Since then he's been more fun to watch, although that's mainly been in tag stuff. If he's truly set aside the boring stalling tactics, then his block matches this year could be fun. But he's probably going to wind up right around that 5-4 or 4-5 range.

Jeff Cobb - Cobb should be a big deal, but he's basically the #3 guy in the United Empire (and there are only four guys in the group), and he hasn't had a lot of chances to score big wins. By the time he got to beat Okada a couple of weeks ago, I'd kind of lost interest. This is his big chance to remind everyone he's a beast. It'd be cool as hell if he went to the finals, but I'm not holding my breath on that.

Tama Tonga - This is his first G1 in three years, and before that he always seemed to be over the whole thing, so it's kind of weird to see him back here. Even when he wasn't focused on tag team wrestling, he was always a 4-5 guy, and I don't foresee a big singles push changing that this time.

Hirooki Goto - One of the NEVER trios champions. Goto's career arguably peaked when he was the runner-up to Kenny Omega in the 2016 G1. He should have good matches with everybody in the block, but he's not a game changer, and I don't see him getting to 5-4.

YOSHI-HASHI - One of the NEVER trios champions. Yoshi has always been a loser, to the point that winning the trios title (which has always been kind of a joke) was actually a huge deal for him. Goto, Ishii, and Yoshi have managed to defend the title nine times over 400 days, so it feels like Yoshi is finally on track. But there's a big difference between that and doing well in the G1, against top guys like Okada, Tanahashi, Evil, and Sanada. He could very easily go 2-7 in the block. Just getting to 3-6 would feel like a major milestone, honestly.

Chase Owens - The self-proclaimed "Texas heavyweight champion," for some reason. Owens has been the bottom guy in Bullet Club for years. I don't know if they decided it's time to push him a little, or if they literally had no one else to put in this thing. Not that it matters, since he's in the same "lose a lot" spot as Yujiro. The difference is that Yujiro might win a match to justify putting him in next year's field. Chase might actually go 0-9. So at least it'll be kind of fun wondering when (if) he can post his first win.

[thecollegefootballguy]

2021 Big Ten Coaching Power Rankings

Hello everybody, welcome back to the Coaching Power Rankings. I’m rating coaches against their peers conference by conference. Remember, with power rankings I weigh both recent and overall career success. Let’s see where each man stands.

Check out last year’s rankings here.

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The Big Ten had a strange season in 2020. Regular powers Michigan and Penn State both had crippling losing season while Wisconsin took a step back. This vacuum allowed Indiana and Northwestern to flourish. Ohio State still won the league, of course. The Buckeyes don’t seem to be going anywhere and should be expected to run the conference for the foreseeable future.

The only coach that was fired was Lovie Smith at Illinois. I’m not sure if that was the right call, especially since the Illini finally made a bowl in 2019.

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14. Mel Tucker

Record at Michigan State: 2-5 Overall Record: 7-12

Movement: Same

It was year 1 for Mel Tucker in East Lansing so I’m not too concerned about the 2-5 record. The Spartans managed to beat Michigan so I think you can still call it a successful season.

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13. Mike Locksley

Record at Maryland: 6-17 Overall Record: 8-43

Movement: Same

Maryland showed some signs of life in 2020, especially with their road win over rival Penn State. If Locksley can translate that improvement into more wins he’ll start moving up the list.

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12. Bret Bielema

Overall Record: 97-58

Movement: N/A

Welcome back to the Big Ten, Bret Bielema! Bielema was of course the coach at Wisconsin from 2006 to 2012 and he led the Badgers to three consecutive Rose Bowls. I have my doubts that he can replicate that kind of success at Illinois, but here’s to hoping.

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11. Greg Schiano

Record at Rutgers: 71-73

Movement: Down 1 spot

It took Greg Schiano 5 years to get to a winning record at Rutgers the first time he was a had coach there, so we need to give him some time to turn things around in Piscataway.

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10. Tom Allen

Record at Indiana: 24-22

Movement: Up 1 spot

Indiana had a hell of a year under Tom Allen. The Hoosiers went 6-2, finishing 2nd place in the Big Ten West. It was their best season in decades and if a full 12 game schedule had been played there’s a decent chance that IU would have gotten to 10+ wins. I hope Allen can keep things running smoothly at Indiana, it’s always great to see long downtrodden programs rise up to compete with the big boys.

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9. Scott Frost

Record at Nebraska: 12-20 Overall Record: 31-27

Movement: Same

Is Scott Frost the guy who can turn around Nebraska? I don’t know, he’s starting his 4th year and is still attempting to make his first bowl as Cornhusker head coach. I know the program has taken a nosedive and realistically will never be on Ohio State’s level anymore, but in the Big Ten West you should be able to find 6 wins in a season. Any day now.

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8. Jeff Brohm

Record at Purdue: 17-21 Overall Record: 47-31

Movement: Same

I have half a mind to move Brohm and Frost even lower given their specific circumstances, but I’ll trust in them a bit longer since they both did so well at their previous stops. Brohm’s Purdue Boilermakers have been struggling in the past few years despite their initial success. I honestly have no idea if Brohm can right the ship a second time, I know fans are disappointed how things have played out considering the promising start of his tenure.

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7. P. J. Fleck

Record at Minnesota: 26-19 Overall Record: 56-41 Division Titles: 1 (2019)

Movement: Down 1 spot

Minnesota regressed in Fleck’s fourth season at the helm. Given the 11 win season in 2019 I think Fleck has earned some patience. He’ll rise back up in the rankings as long as the Gophers continue to build up their program under his careful guidance.

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6. Jim Harbaugh

Record at Michigan: 49-22 Overall Record: 107-49 Division Championships: 1 (2018)

Movement: Down 1 spot

Jim Harbaugh tumbles out of the top 5 after Michigan suffered their first losing season under his leadership. I know the dramatic regression came as a surprise to Wolverine fans, many of whom are concerned with the direction things are heading with the program. It’s a tough position for the coach and the administration, who will struggle to beat Ohio State no matter who is coaching the team. We’ll see if Harbaugh can turn things around in Ann Arbor, he might not get too many chances if things don’t break his way in 2021.

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5. Paul Chryst

Record at Wisconsin: 56-19 Overall Record: 37-13 Division Championships: 3 (2016, 2017, 2019)

Movement: Down 1 spot

Wisconsin was fine in 2020. I expect them to compete for division titles every year and they did, the Badgers just didn’t win this time. Better luck next year. Wisconsin hasn’t gone two years without at least tying for the West title so I am confident that they’ll be competing in 2021.

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4. James Franklin

Record at Penn State: 60-28 Overall Record: 84-43 Division Championships: 1 (2016) Conference Championships: 1 (2016)

Movement: Down 1 spot

Much like Michigan, Penn State suffered from a similarly horrible year. James Franklin has done much for the Nittany Lions, bringing their program back into regular competition with the top flight of college football. However, losing seasons don’t come out of the blue very often to a well run program. We’ll see if this downturn is just an aberration. Franklin certainly still seems like he’s capable of turning things back around.

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3. Pat Fitzgerald

Record at Northwestern: 106-81 Division Championships: 2 (2018, 2020)

Movement: Up 4 spots

Pat Fitzgerald really outdid himself in 2020. The completely unheralded Wildcats went out and beat both Iowa and Wisconsin to win the Big Ten West for the second time in three years. NU continues to punch above its weight and it’s all thanks to the hard work of Pat Fitzgerald and his staff. I don’t know if Northwestern can ever really be a year in and year out competitor in league play, but if anybody can do it Fitzgerald can.

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2. Kirk Ferentz

Record at Iowa: 168-106 Overall Record: 180-127 Division Championships: 1 (2015) Conference Championships: 2 (2002, 2004)

Movement: Down 1 spot

The longest tenured coach in FBS football has slipped down one spot. It’s not really his fault, it’s hard to keep pace with a guy who’s making the Playoff every year. Ferentz is a living legend and as long as he’s around Iowa is going to be just fine. The Hawkeyes continue to battle it out with Wisconsin for West Division supremacy and I don’t think that will change for the time being.

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1. Ryan Day

Record at Ohio State: 23-2 Division Championships: 2 (2019, 2020) Conference Championships: 2 (2019, 2020)

Movement: Up 1 spot

Ryan Day hasn’t crashed the Ferarri yet. Ohio State was the second best team in the country last year after an Alabama squad that might have been the greatest ever. That’s not bad competition. The Buckeyes seem well served by Day so far and will compete for Big Ten and national championships for the foreseeable future as long as he’s in Columbus.

[emilythornegrayson]

▪︎Sokovia (2012)

Sharon Carter was assigned to a mission outside Sokovia.

She knew that she could only count on SHIELD extraction and that would take too long.

When her cover was discovered, it was all or nothing, inside the shed where she was.

The blow to her head came and she collapsed on the floor.

Then, the place started to catch fire.

Heike Zemo, who was walking arm in arm with her husband, noticed the fire.

"Helmut, look!"

She pointed to the burning place.

The Baron took out his phone to call and, looking out the window, saw someone inside.

“There is someone there! Call the fire department, I’ll come in!”

He said, putting his coat over his head, entering the room.

Heike made the call and seconds later, she saw her husband leave with a blonde girl in his arms.

"She is still alive, but she needs a doctor as soon as possible!"

▪︎Sokovia (2015)

Agent 13 learned of the disaster in Sokovia with the Avengers' fight against Ultron.

As soon as she stepped into the rubble of Baron Helmut Zemo's old house, Sharon put her hand to her mouth.

"They are dead!"

She heard a voice behind her and turned.

"They're all dead!"

Baron Zemo told her.

Sharon looked at him with tears in her eyes and then hugged him.

"I'm very sorry!

She whispered when she heard him cry.

"I'm really sorry!"

Zemo was devastated, and so was she. Once she had been saved and cared for by that family and now, they were gone.

As the months went by, she found herself obliged to check on the Baron and why not, try to bring some comfort.

But the reaction was always the same:

Apathy.

Except, the last time.

Ozenik shared with Carter that his boss was quieter than usual and full of secrets.

And it was there that, she discovered her plans against HYDRA.

"How will getting revenge on HYDRA help you?"

She asked.

"They caused all of this!"

He said fiercely.

"Sokovia?"

She asked quietly.

"That was the Avengers!"

He said listlessly.

"To protect the city!"

Sharon defended.

"How dare you come into my house and defend them?"

Zemo asked angrily.

"They are my friends!"

She defended herself.

"Your friends are murderers!"

Zemo said, looking into Carter's eyes.

"The hell they are!"

She faced him, without taking her eyes off.

"Why do you keep coming here?"

He was harsh.

"Because I care about you!"

Sharon replied seriously.

“So, you can turn around! I don't need your pity, Agent 13! Keep it to yourself! ”

Zemo said it again when he looked the agent in the eye.

"So, go to hell!"

She replied and turned her back on him.

"You are so annoying!"

Zemo, pulled her by the arm and forced Carter to look.

"What did you say?"

Sharon tried to pull her arm out of his hand and Zemo moved her closer to him.

"Let me go!"

Zemo, resting his hand on the girl's neck and pulled her into a kiss.

She, looking into the Baron's eyes, wrapped herself around him and then, kissed him back with lust.

It was something she had never imagined before, but it was also something she liked...

▪︎Berlin (2016)

“All this time, you used me to get revenge on the Avengers! How stupid I was to trust you, Helmut!”

Sharon Carter, told him as she stood in front of his cell.

“I never hid what I wanted from you! I didn't want to get you involved in that, but it was necessary!”

He replied back.

"It was necessary?"

She asked hurt.

“You slept with me and you cheated on my back! What kind of man are you?”

Sharon was disoriented and angry.

“The kind that does everything which needs for what want and after today, my dear, you will be like that too! Or do you think that giving the shield to Captain America will have no consequences?”

He asked with a half smile.

"I will never trust you again!"

She answered between her teeth and left the cell.

“You will have a big surprise, my dear! And you will see that in the end, I am more reliable, even than James Barnes!”

Zemo said quietly.

Sharon turned to him in surprise.

"Ah yes! I know your little secret, Doloris!”

Zemo smiled with satisfaction.

“You chose Barnes and HYDRA took it from you! Now, all you have to do is take good care of that child you waits! Von Strucker will not be pious if he knows that she is alive inside you! You will thank me later!”

Sharon came out of the room and watched as some CIA agents came in the distance. It couldn't be for Zemo, and it certainly wasn't.

She started to run and turned the long corridor.

As soon as she saw someone she knew in front of her and, stopped.

"Ozenik?"

She asked in surprise to Baron Helmut Zemo's butler.

"I have orders to get you out of here safely!"

He told to her.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

Sharon said seriously.

"I'm afraid you have no choice!"

Sounded Fury's voice from behind her.

"Director Fury!"

Sharon turned to the man.

"He's your best chance to get out of here alive before Von Strucker's agents find you or worse, the government!"

"Where are we going?"

She asked, following them both.

"Where would master Zemo wish he would have taken you!"

Sharon looked at Ozenik without understanding.

“The Zemo's safe mansion in Madripoor! It's yours now, Miss Carter! Along with a title, of course! ”

Ozenik explained, opening the car door for her.

Sharon got into the car in the back seat, with Fury at his left side and put on her belt, looking at him.

"What title is that?"

"The Power Broker!"

Ozenik replied, starting the car.

Sharon looked at him in surprise and at Fury.

“Master Zemo said that, this will ensure your daughter's safety! And I would trust him, if I were you!”

▪︎Madripoor (2023)

Sharon looked at Sam's letter. The government was willing to see her.

Early, she would be able to get home.

"When I go out that door, I will let the Dora Milaje find me!"

A familiar voice came from the back of the ex-CIA agent.

Sharon turned and saw Helmut Zemo there.

"Are you sure about that?"

She asked putting her hands in her pants pockets.

"I have nothing more to lose, Agent Carter!"

Zemo said as he looked at her.

“I lost everything I had! Barnes is a lucky man! ”

And, he left.

Sharon stopped to hear him and then, decided go out after him.

"Helmut, wait!"

When she went, no longer saw him.

Looking up at the sky, she spotted his plane departing from there.

▪︎New York (2023).

Sharon was looking at Daniel Von Strucker in the SHIELD cell. Now she understood the meaning of the words that Zemo had uttered years before:

{The type that does everything needs for what want and after today, my dear, you will be like that too!}

"Did you come here to brag about me?"

Strucker's voice was clear and hateful.

"No! I came here to look at you and say that I won!”

And show him a picture.

In it, were Sharon and Maggie and, the baby had a circle on her face. Then, she showed him an envelope.

"I never sent this to you!"

Sharon, who was wearing a glove, took Daniel's hand and pressed it against the photo.

"Now, you did!"

She smiled a revengeful and kept the photo in the envelope.

"You are not going to get out of this!"

Daniel said angrily stucking to the bar of the cell.

"Watch me!"

She whispered and gave a panicked cry.

“COULSOOOON! FURYYYY!”

Instantly, Nick Fury entered the cell corridor to help Sharon and pulled her out.

"He... He..."

Sharon was in tears and her hands were shaking, it was then that she handed the envelope to Nick Fury.

The SHIELD man took the photo from inside and looked furiously in the direction of Daniel's cell corridor.

Sharon put her hand to her mouth and took a deep breath.

Fury then left to call Strange.

The redhead, listening part of the conversation, turned away and left the place.

After waiting a few hours, she returned to SHIELD, under the excuse of asking for got out, and spotted Strange there.

"Doctor Strange, what are you doing here?"

The man looked at her in dismay.

"What did you do?"

Sharon asked, entering SHIELD headquarters quickly.

When she reached Daniel's cell, she saw the black hole there and turned to Strange.

"Sharon..."

"What did you do?"

She asked angrily and walked away with Strange following her.

"Sharon, wait!"

He caught up with her.

[pochapal]

rank every year of the 2010s from best to worst i want some pochapal lore

[warning for discussion of my fucked up mental health and my myriad traumas. we’re really opening the pandora’s box here gang]

ok time for me to overshare on the internet again! super long post because i can’t shut up and you asked for it. anyway, by objective ranking: 

#1: 2012 - halcyon era, my personal peak. spent the whole year writing hunger games oc fics with my deviantart fanfiction besties whom i still think about all the time and always hope are having the best possible day. if you were here for this era understand i still hold you so closely and dearly in my heart <3. 

#2: 2013 - god i was such a good example of a human being back then. was the year my writing like actually took off and i had a healthy balance between creative stuff and a social life (said social life consisting of spending lunchtimes at school breaking into classrooms and discussing fandom shit with five other people. reading homestuck updates in the music room on one person’s really shaky mobile data...legendary). highlight of the year and maybe my life was in the april of 2013 when i got out of failing to submit a hard deadline essay by telling my english teacher i wrote a whole novel over the two week break and then producing said novel. god i wish i had that level of like. fucking confidence back me back then knew what i wanted and how to get it. 

#3: 2010 - the last year of childhood. i was 12 and played pokemon all the time with my friends and went places and had a moderately successful youtube channel and it didn’t matter that i was bullied so badly at school because i was basically high off life. summer of 2010 was so good specifically. i’d used to get the bus with a friend and go see movies and break into historical sites and get into normal childhood mayhem and maxed out my pokewalkers twice a month and i was buzzed because i had two (2) whole friendship groups to choose from and that was such a huge deal to me the terminal social outcast. it was so simple and carefree and even though everything and everyone involved in this era grew up to suck except for one specific person i kinda really miss it.

#4: 2018 - this was the first year i wasn’t depressed to the point of nonfunctioning. it was 20gayteen, i was on antidepressants, i was as close to thriving as i got at uni (going into town with people once a week, attending art and culture events, getting good grades across the board), i started to write for fun again, i got my cat whom i love dearly, i was exhibited in my uni’s city’s literature festival, GOD i actually nearly attended a pride event that year can you imagine. this year was basically my life’s second peak. miss getting the 8am train and daintily sipping on a cherry coke to keep me from passing out. wish this time could have lasted longer.

#5: 2019 - kinda absolute middle of the road year not for lack of anything happening but because the overwhelming amount of good and bad things cancelled each other out. so like there’s the fact that i was at the top of my uni game this year, was basically making the first steps into a professional writing career (covid i will never forgive you for killing all that dead </3), finally saved up enough to buy myself a gaming pc, and the summer after the homestuck epilogues, but equally 2019 was the start of the Pochapal Gender Fiasco which is by far the most horrible thing i am still currently undergoing and i burnt myself out mentally about halfway through the year (being stuck overnight in a hospital for a panic attack absolutely horrible horrible irredeemable) and then got like super death plague flu that i was sick with for three months (literally recovered less than a month before rona hit. god’s cruel karma.). so like...it kind of averaged out? the good shit was good but not as great as other years and the bad shit was awful but nowhere near as terrible as it could have been. gotta give a shoutout to 90% of my current mutual cohort for following me in 2019...omelette route gang make some noise !!

#6: 2014 - oof. this year essentially marked the start of a four year long downward mental health spiral because everything fell into awful alignment. i’d just turned 16, finished secondary school, had all my friends up and ditch me at once, was home alone for a whole summer, and was hit with Sudden Intense Body Image Issues that i couldn’t explain until uh. after very recent developments lmao. this one goes out to the me of july 2014 who did nothing but lay in bed and listen to the same two marina albums on a loop because fuck i’m attracted to men and also my facial and body hair are really starting to come in and if i think about this for too long i will literally kill myself because oh god i can’t handle getting older which is clearly and definitely the issue going on here. my brain fucking broke super hardcore and it’s a miracle that an overeating disorder was like the worst thing i walked away with. 

#7: 2015 - downward spiral year two!! i was so volatile this year it was such a mess. i was totally socially isolated after a brief stint of falling in with a group of people at the start of my first year of sixth form until january where in quick succession a) it turned out every single one of these people was friends with the person who sexually assaulted me whom i obviously had a lot of complicated feelings towards and b) baby’s first crush came out as bisexual but in the “women and also trans women” kind of way which tore me up so terribly in ways i couldn’t begin to understand. no words for the experience of seeing a girl kiss a boy and crying so hard at night you threw up because you could never be her no matter how much you wanted it. actually kinda get the sense what was going on there was bigger than just some crush lmao. then after that i was so mentally ill i basically attended school less than half the time and it was the only year in my life i failed my exams. i ended up having to resit my entire set of first year a level exams because jesus christ was i in such a bad way it was a miracle i even showed up to them. all i did was either have anxiety attacks or enter bedbound depressive slumps for weeks at a time. but it’s okay because it gets worse.

#8: 2016 - downward spiral act iii: the spiralling. prefacing this by saying that i actually had two whole good months (april - may) in that i was functioning enough to do my exams and finish school with decent grades. the rest was super extra mega terrible. my school attendance for year 13 dipped below 65% and literally the only thing that kept me from being kicked out was the fact that i was naturally smart at the subjects i took and also because the school would have a lot to answer for after letting me get to that state despite having a hefty file on how damaged i was. keep in mind every single part of this was fully untreated btw - i was just floundering around and letting it all fester. i spent three solid weeks going to school but locking myself in the bathroom all day every day and having mental health episodes then going home like nothing else happened only to continue the breakdown that night. then things got kicked into fucked up overdrive when i moved out to uni and was cut off from what little support structures i did have. it was so bad all i did was cry all the time and never went anywhere to the point where three separate sources recommended me to the wellbeing and crisis counselling service that i stopped going to after two sessions because i was fucked up in ways cbt techniques could not even touch. at least i tried to make an effort for the first two months of uni which like. good for me?

#9: 2017 - what lieth at the base of the spiral. helltrench year. i was at literal rock bottom. i stopped going to class, i didn’t hand in a single piece of work. i lied to my parents and would book trains each day only to go back to my student flat and sit there and contemplate suicide. like i would just slump on the floor in a catatonic state and vividly contemplate one of four or so ways i could end my own life. i only didn’t because i wanted to wait until the summer to collect my last student loan and transfer it to my parents as an apology for my death which obviously didn’t end up happening. honestly i can’t remember much of the first half of 2017 that’s how bad it was. i remember taking a gender studies class and the teacher made it Weird that i was the Only Male Student in the room and then she sent me a scolding email after i walked out halfway through a class and never returned. apparently i got into a lot of online discourse in this year but i don’t remember anything other than being put on a blocklist by the milkfic author over ace discourse which is funny if you have the context. mostly i just baited terfs and weirdo freaks to get them to say horrible things to me as what i guess amounts to some kind of digital self harm. anyway breaking point came in late august when i got kicked out of university and then nobody could ignore it any more so there was no choice left but for me to seek out help and recover enough to function which luckily i did. i really Do Not remember 2017. you could tell me anything about that year and i’d probably believe you.

#10: 2011 - extra circle of hell for this little fucked up gem of a year. on the surface it wasn’t actually that terrible, until the Summer 2011 Domino Effect Of Bad Shit. up until like may/june it was a pretty all right year! i was 13 and had a surprisingly successful youtube channel uploading pokemon soundfont remixes to an audience of i think ~350-400 subscribers at my peak? anyway then i got hit with the early summer triple combo of childhood friends moving away, cute and quirky sexual assault at the hands of a person in my friend group, and then having some Really Great and Super Appropriate interactions with adults on deviantart. like obviously there’s the actual ptsd-inducing event which totally disrupted and killed the person i was right up until that moment and reshaped every facet of my life for better or worse (there’s an alternate timeline where that didn’t happen and i got into electronic music and/or coding instead) but really it’s the events that followed in its wake which were kind of more fucked up. so like all of a sudden i was super aware of my body and me growing my hair out and being mistaken for a girl in class suddenly became this Less Innocent thing and i ended up spending hours overnight going to transgender questioning forums and looking up hrt timeline videos and having the wikipedia article on tracheal shaving saved because it was a life raft to me whose voice was imminently gonna deepen and i was simultaneously reeling with constant trauma flashbacks and the whole thing was so so fucked up. then i was on deviantart and i don’t remember exactly how but a small group of furry guys ten to fifteen years older than me started messaging me and encouraging and requesting me to produce nonsexual fetish stuff for them and talking to me about stuff like if i’d ever thought about growing up to be gay and i didn’t think anything of it for a long while because they called me a very talented writer and it felt so good to have someone be nice to me after being so alone and isolated for months on end. anyway the only reason i got out of that before it got bad was because they invited me to one of the big furry sites and i was weirded out because i thought it was a porn site and thinking about sexual stuff was a huge trauma trigger so i just ended up blocking them all and pretending like it didn’t happen. at the time half this shit didn’t bother me but in retrospect holy fuck 2011 was such a damaging year. to think if like three events didn’t happen i wouldn’t be the fucked up mess you see before you today.

god fuck this turned out super long but i’m not apologising because this was a therapeutic exercise for me and also constitutes as one of the biggest pochapal lore dumps of all time. come get your food or whatever.

[amixedwitch]

for the ask game: 16 & 18!

16. what is a skill or talent you’ve completely lost or overlooked? why did that happen?

I used to play the guitar between the ages of 13 and 16 and I totally forgot how. Also, it was just hard to practice because of where I lived (walls were thin) and I always came home rather late bc of classes, extracurriculars, and distance. I could always get back to it and teach myself from scratch. I still have the guitar with me.

I also used to fence. Foil weapon to be exact. I was pretty good at it. I wanted to compete and stuff (with a pipe dream of making it to the American Olympics Team) but the commitments it would have involved sacrificing my teen years + my school life would have crashed and burned. It was gonna be too messy. In an alternative universe, it would have been my current path. Tbh, watching the women's foil event is a tad painful for me because of the "What if?". It's alright though, I found my true passion elsewhere! And who knows I might have grown out of it eventually.

18. what is something you can’t bring yourself to get rid of?

my graphic tees from the 2012-2016 era. it's dated in a not-so-flattering way but i love them too much to box them away, let alone give it away!

send me deep asks