#it blows my whole fucking mind that people enjoy this as much as i do so really thank you sm!! 💕💕💕

[thefreakandthehair]

I'm sorry but you can't drop "Rounding Third, Sliding Home sequel" in those tags and not say more about it. Sequel when? A oneshot? A full second fic?

okay anon, first of all, thank you!! lmao I texted @withacapitalp like "someone wants more of rtsh!! what??!" so this made my night. 💕

secondly, good eye! honestly, I was toying around with the idea of a sequel while writing rtsh but didn't wanna get too carried away, so I gave the fic a proper ending that could absolutely stand alone in a (hopefully!) satisfying way.

but now that it's all wrapped up, I do feel like there's another story to tell for those two in that universe. if all goes according to plan, I'd love for it to be a full second fic! likely not as long as rtsh, but probably still multi-chaptered. as far as when, ideally, by the end of this year! I have two reverse bangs, a co-writing project, and a football au that's been eating me alive on the docket as well though, so I can't give a firm date just yet!

[suhkusa]

THE KISS BET.

PAIRING. Bakugou Katsuki x f!Reader

SUMMARY. Your friends bet you to kiss Katsuki Bakugou. Fortunately for you, they’re offering you $500 for it. Unfortunately for you, the two of you absolutely hate each other.

CW. third year, angst to fluff, light hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers, mature humor, feelings, language

WC. ~2.8k

A/N. enjoy :3

You and your group of friends had a running gig. Bets. 

The group would bet one person to do something, on a scale from normal to outrageous, and that person’s turn wouldn’t end until they complete that bet. Of course, depending on how crazy the bet is, everyone would put in some amount of money. 

The most you’d gotten was $100 total from accepting a date from creep in the business class. Worst date of your life, but Jirou felt bad so she gave you an extra $50. 

As the lot of you gather around the campfire, everyone offers up their money to Mina who had just done her bet to put laxatives in Kirishima’s drink. There were a lot of questions about the morality of it, but you ignored it and gave her a crisp $20. 

“Y/N~ it’s your turn!” Ochako gleed. 

You roll your eyes, “I feel like I just did my other bet, which by the way was shit,” the girls laugh at your words. “I feel like all of you get the easier ones,”

“Easy? I had to kiss Monoma, do you know how hard that was? He knows I’m lesbian so imagine how hard that was for me to convince him,” Yaoyorozu sighs with a palm to her face.

“Oh, whatever,” Mina says with a clap of her hands, “You want a hard one, Y/N?”

“I mean that’s the whole point of paying each other to do bets, they’re supposed to be hard,” 

“Be careful what you wish for,” Mina smirks before standing up and pointing at you. 

“I bet you $100,” your ears perk up.

“-to kiss–,” your eyes widen but listen nonetheless.

“Katsuki Bakugou,” your world falls apart.

“Mina, no,” 

“Y/N, yes,” she jumps up and down, “It’s too late, I already said it,”

All the other girls are hooting and hollering, but you just sit there in silence as you stare at the flames. Are you really going to try this?

As you consider your options the other girls start placing their bet offerings.

“$75 from me,” Tsuyu calls out.

Then from Hagakure, “$50,”

“$150,” from none other than Yaoyorozu. 

“I guess I’ll put in $80,” Jirou smiles at your misery.

“Hmm, I’ll even it out with $45, so $500 flat for you, Y/N,” Ochako smiles.

$500?!? You’d be outright stupid to deny such a big amount of money. But you’d even stupider to think Katsuki Bakugou would kiss you of all people. 

“I think that’s impossible,” you whine as the other girls poke fun at you.

“I guess only time will tell,” Mina grabs your hands and smiles, “Good luck, Y/N,”

—

You can hear the rambunctiousness of your class before you walk in. When you walk through the doors, your eyes scan the class before your eyes lock in on Katsuki Bakugou. You groan with a roll of your eyes before stomping your way towards him. 

“Hey, Katsuki,” you stare down at him, “You want to do me a favor,”

“For you? I rather eat shit,” he grumbles as he meets your gaze.

“You’re a freak,” you already knew this was going to be hard, “Please,”

“Mm, depends, what’s in it for me?” 

“I guess you’ll find out,” you say. “Kiss me,”

It feels like the class goes silent as the two of you continue to just stare at each other. He opens his mouth then closes it. 

“You– The fuck?” His eyes are scattering as the words continue to process through his mind, “What a weirdo, hell no,” then he’s pushing himself out of his seat and making his way to the door.

“You know class starts in 5 minutes right?” you call to him.

“Fuck off,” he grunts as he shuts the door behind him.

Yep, definitely hard. 

—

The next time you bother Bakugou for a kiss is when the two of you are paired up for combat training. Much against his will. 

“Katsuki~” you call out as you dodge another blow from him. “You can’t avoid me forever,”

“Yes-” another explosion, “I can,”

You go on the offense as you continue, “Just a peck, please. I’m a good kisser, I promise,” 

“You’re shit,” he’s grumbling between dodges of your attacks.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you send him a wink before getting a hit on him. 

Bakugou groans, about to send another remark, when the training ends with a blow of a whistle.

The two of you meet eyes one last time, “Think it over, kay?” you smile before walking away.

—

Knock, knock. 

You stand at Bakugou’s door.

“Go away, perv,”

“Aw, how did you know it was me? You missed me?”

“I can just tell by the stench,” 

You laugh a little at his words, “Please, let me explain to you and maybe you’ll reconsider,” 

You can hear footsteps, and you smile. When he opens the door he’s adorned in his classic black tank and some sweats.

“You should put some clothes on, perv,” you mock. “Anyways, it was a bet from my friends and there’s $500 on the line, so if you would just–”

“I don’t kiss just anyone, princess,” the nickname causes you to fluster, but you shake it off as he continues, “You gotta earn it,”

He’s got a stupid smirk on his face, and you didn’t even realize it but he’s definitely leaning closer to you. It’s sending butterflies– well maybe more like moths– into your stomach. 

“What the– You’re definitely the pervert. I’m just going to ask to call it off,” you fake gag, “Later, loser,” 

“You’ll be back, nerd,”

You internally groan as you hear him shut the door, ignoring the intense heartbeat in your chest.

—

“No,” Mina says.

“What?! I told you it’s impossible,” you argue, all of your friends on the other side of the argument. 

“No it’s not, he said you had to earn it right?” Mina retorts, “So obviously there’s a way, you’re just stubborn,”

“You’re really not asking me to… You guys are crazy. Please, please, I’ll take anyone else, anything else,” 

“Sorry, Y/N, it’s the rules,” Tsuyu looks at you with pity.

“He hates me and I hate him! That’s all there is to it. It’s not going to happen,”

“Why do you guys even hate each other? It’s our third year, get over it already,” Jirou teases. 

“Because he’s a dick and I refuse to let him walk all over me! I just cursed him out one time for calling me weak. He’s the one who holds grudges because of his fragile, little heart,” 

“You should’ve known he’d hold that against you, but I honestly doubt he hates you because of that,” Mina says. “He probably thought you looked hot,” she laughs.

Heat rushes to the tips of your eyes, “Whatever, all of you are weirdos. But anyways-”

“No, Y/N,” Mina states, end of subject.

“You all just want me to kill myself,” you groan as you sink into the couch. “Whatever, but I’m going to force all of you to double your offering if I actually do this shit,”

The girls cheer. You cry inside. Anything for money, you guess.

—

It seems like the universe heard about the predicament you were in, because it felt like you were suddenly around him more often ever since the bet had been set.

“You know, I don’t want to be on patrol with you either,” you grumble, kicking at rocks as the two of you walk up and down the roads of the dorms.

“Glad we agree,”

Silence washes over you both. 

“Why don’t you want to kiss me? Am I ugly or something?” you ask, but it definitely comes off sadder than you intend.

“Don’t get all insecure because you don’t get a stupid kiss,” he looks the opposite direction of yours, “You know damn well you’re not ugly, so don’t piss me off,” 

He had a strange way of saying stuff.

“Aw, you love me, don’t you?” you tease, poking at his arm.

“Ah you dumbass, pay attention,” you snap back into place with a laugh, “‘M just saying you’re better looking than some of these extras,” 

You don’t know what to say in response to his words. Because they were surprisingly very sweet. 

Realizing he had said too much, he changes the subject. “Let’s go this way,”

You follow him with a nod.

There was definitely a certain type of tension lingering that the two of you walked in near silence for the rest of the patrol. 

You definitely were not repeating back his words in your head over and over again for the rest of the patrol. And Katsuki Bakugou was definitely not turning red because of what he said earlier. Definitely not. 

—

After that patrol, things seemed to sort of shift between the two of you. And to say it was scary was an understatement. 

Conversations wouldn’t always start off with the two of you insulting or cursing each other out. There’d be a hey or hello. If you guys saw each other in passing, he’d greet you with a nod of his head. Him being anything but passive aggressive towards you was terrifying because it was so not him. 

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out to you, you groan as you put your pencil down.

“I’m studying, what do you want, Katsuki?” 

“Come with me to the movies after school today,” it’s not really a question, more like a command. 

You put your hands to your mouth in fake(?) excitement, “You’re asking me on a date?! So kind, Katsuki,” 

“It’s not a date, idiot. I’m going with Ei and Denki later, they’re bringing Jirou and Mina. They were teasing me for not bringing anyone, so come,”

“If I don’t?” you muse.

“Be there or be square, nerd,” he doesn’t take your bait, but you can tell he’d prefer it if you go. He walks away before you can respond. 

Well, you guess you have plans later.

;;;

You meet up with the lot of them at the allotted time. The group walks together, and you thank God your friends have a questionable taste in men so you wouldn’t be stuck with some randos. But you also have half a mind to curse them out for leaving you to fend for yourself when you all arrive at the theater. 

They left you with no choice but to sit with Bakugou. Part of you really hates it, but not as much as you hate the rate at which your heart beats. 

For the most part, the two of you just sit there in awkwardness. The other couples indulge in that lovey dovey shit, and it makes you feel out of place. You zone out and get into your head. Was there a motive in asking you to come out here? He could’ve invited like… Midoriya… or Ochako… Or anyone, really. But, you? Does he like you? Or were you his last option to invite? Your head hurts from overthinking.

Your hand rests in your lap, picking at the material of your pants. At least that’s what it was doing. Until it happened. 

From the corner of your eye, you watch as Bakugou slid his hand into yours. His fingers finding a comfortable place between your own. You release a deep breath when you realize you were holding your breath. Is he out of his fucking mind?

Despite your efforts to try and justify how much you absolutely hate it. You didn’t even try to stop him. You didn’t pull away. You didn’t let his hand go. And even as the movie ended, you actually felt sad when he slid his hand away. 

The cool air of the night shocked you a bit when all of you made it outside. 

“We were thinking of grabbing a bite, did you guys want to come?” Mina exclaims. 

“Ooh, that sounds good, are you down, Jirou?”

“Sure, and you guys?” they all look at you.

“I- I have a stomach ache… Butter fucks with my stomach really bad,” the excuse is kind of weak, but still holds up as they all nod in understanding. 

“I can walk you to the dorm,” Bakugou offers, and you don’t really give him a yes or no, he just follows you.

Kirishima and Mina whistle and holler as the two of you part ways with the rest of them. 

Part of you regrets making up some stupid lie to go home. Because this was way more awkward than getting free pizza. 

The two of you are right by each other as you walk in silence towards the dorm. You wait. And wait. Wait for him to bring it up. Why did he do that? Why did he grab your hand? Was it all a front?

Why is he treating you so well?

Even as he drops you off at your room, he says nothing. Just a simple “Goodnight,” before he’s making his way to the elevator.

What an asshole.

—

So you take the initiative. The initiative in ignoring him. You weren’t some casual fling. Fuck the bet, fuck him.

When you saw him making his way towards you, you were quick to get up and rush out of the classroom. When he nodded your directions in passing, it was easy to just walk past and not acknowledge him. Whatever there was between you and him, was gone. Whatever “it” was, exactly. 

But you were okay. You guess. You were down $500 or $1000, but whatever. That game was bullshit anyways. You always got the worst bets. You kind of felt bad that you were the end of it, though. 

It was easy to avoid him. That’s what you thought. At least until one week later, you found yourself cornered by your dorm room with nowhere to go.

“What the fuck is up with you?” he’s angry, you’d be stupid if you thought otherwise.

You cross your arms and avoid his intense gaze, “Whatever do you mean?” 

He’s getting closer, and a tiny, like miniscule, part of you finds angry-him hot. “You know what the hell I mean, you’ve been avoiding me,” 

“Nuh uh,” you retort, still avoiding the subject at hand. “I’ve just been busy, sorry,”

“Like hell, Racoon Eyes said you’ve been in your dorm room everyday, so try again, asshat,”

Fucking Mina.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” you poke at his chest, “Now get out of my way before I beat your ass,”

“Yeah? I’d like to see you try,” he’s smiling with mockery.

“Oh, I’m sure you’d like to be touched by me, you little virgin,” you inspect your nails in nonchalance, “Too bad, so sad, now move,”

“No, not until you answer me,” he’s a bit more serious now, you can sense it in his tone. 

You groan, “Fine, not until you answer me, though. Why the fuck did you hold my hand and act like it didn’t happen? Am I like a joke to you?”

He straightens up and his eyes widen. He looks to the side, then back at you.

“You’re fuckin’ smart, why don’t you take a guess?”

“You’re not a baby, why don’t you use your words?” 

You got him there.

“Maybe ‘cuz I like you, or something, idiot,”

You laugh. Laugh. Because he really thought you’d believe a stupid joke like that.

“You’re funny, but seriously, why did–”

A kiss. Katsuki Bakugou has always been known for his speed and his wit. But now you see it more than ever. As he steals a kiss from you. It happens faster than you’re able to even realize you’re leaning into it. 

When the two of you part, it’s tense again. You don’t know if you should say something but he takes that choice from you.

“You think that was funny?” he asks.

“Well- no, but–”

“No buts, that’s that,”

“I didn’t even say I like you back! What if I didn’t-”

“Oh, so you do?” you jump up in realization you fumbled your words. “Good to know, princess,”

“Ugh, you’re so annoying. How was I supposed to know you liked me? You’re such an asshole, you know?”

“Really? Because this asshole just got you some cash,” he laughs referring to the bet, “But y’know, I don’t let just anyone call me Katsuki,”

You grit your teeth before throwing a punch at his arm, “Annoying! Annoying, so annoying,” 

Another hearty laugh escapes from his lips as he pulls you into a hug. You didn’t even know Bakugou gave hugs. But you don’t mind it. 

“You’re such a pervert, I bet you’ve been looking forward to that kiss,” he teases.

“Yeah? Well you’re a pervert for even kissing me in the first place,”

—

YOU: pay up bitches

YOU: i’m talking double btw

[164 new notifications]

You were rich and in love. What more could you ask for?

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[pluckyredhead]

What the heck is going on in Batman/Gotham War?

I know a lot of people in fandom are confused and/or upset about what's been going on in Gotham War - why is Bruce acting like this, what is Selina doing, why are the Batkids taking sides. So I figured I would fill you all in on what's been happening in Batman and Catwoman since Chip Zdarsky took over with Batman #125, because it has been BONKERS and I have been enjoying the hell out of it.

Below, the quickest summary I can manage while still being comprehensive:

[Content warning: mental illness, abuse, suicide (...ish), LOTS of violence.]

The first arc, "Failsafe," starts with Batman and Robin (Tim, in this case) in pursuit of the Penguin, who is on a killing spree. In the very first issue, Tim gets shot in the neck. Bruce has to take him to the hospital, but first he has to strip him out of his costume and put him in civilian clothes to preserve their secret identities, triggering memories of when he had to do the same to Jason's dead body. There is LITERALLY NO PURPOSE TO ANY OF THIS EXCEPT WHUMP (Tim is back in action with a fucking BAND-AID on his neck very quickly), which is how I knew this was going to be good. Beat Tim up! Make Bruce cry about Jason! I want these men to suffer! (There is also SO much to be said about Tim's own Poor Mental Health Decisions throughout the entirety of Zdarsky's run so far, but that's for a separate meta post.)

Anyway. Bruce leaves Tim in the hospital and goes to confront Penguin, who turns out to be dying of mercury poisoning. He kills himself and makes it look like Batman did it, forcing Bruce to flee. (Penguin actually faked his death and is alive elsewhere under an alias, but that's not important right now.)

In the Batcave, a massive robot called Failsafe emerges. Failsafe attacks Bruce, who usually eats killer robots for breakfast, but he can't seem to get the upper hand on this one. Duke, Cass, Steph, and Dick show up to help, but Failsafe beats them all too, while Tim gets an injured Bruce away and to the Batcave.

In the Batcave, Bruce puts on a weird purple and red Batman costume and a new personality takes over: the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh. Now, Zur has a very complicated history going back to 1958, but for the purposes of this story, all you need to know is that when he was younger, Bruce decided it would be good to hang out in a sensory deprivation chamber until his mind created a secondary personality, Zur, who is essentially Batman without Bruce. Zur is pure efficiency who does not care about anything but the mission. He created Failsafe, for one purpose: to kill Bruce if Bruce ever crossed the line and killed someone. And right now, Failsafe believes that Bruce killed Penguin.

Failsafe nearly kills Tim, which Zur is okay with writing off as an expendable soldier's death, but this causes Bruce to take control of the body back because "Tim isn't my soldier...HE'S MY SON!" (Tim Nation, why are you not ALL OVER this story? It's catnip.)

Babs calls in the JLA (SuperBat fans, you will also want to read Bruce's adoring description of Clark when he shows up), but of course Failsafe has kryptonite, which it stabs Clark with. The League dumps Clark and Bruce into the JLA jet and distracts Failsafe while Tim flies Clark and Bruce to the Fortress of Solitude. Bruce tells Tim he's a good boy and jumps out of the jet and into the ocean so that Tim and Clark will be safe from Failsafe. He's rescued by Arthur, who takes him to Atlantis to heal. THIS HAS ALL ONLY BEEN FOUR ISSUES SO FAR.

Two weeks later, Bruce wakes up to discover that Failsafe has taken over Gotham. He teleports up to the JLA Watchtower on the moon to lure Failsafe there, then blows the Watchtower up, hoping to catch a ride on one of the Javelins. But Failsafe has already destroyed them, so Bruce RIDES A BOOSTER ROCKET BACK TO EARTH, OXYGEN MASK CLAPPED OVER HIS FACE. The whole thing has some powerful Scooty-Puff Jr energy.

The only tricky part is reentry, when Bruce starts to burn up - his costume is fireproof, of course, but his chin is exposed. SO HE TAKES OFF HIS LITTLE BAT-PANTIES AND PUTS THEM OVER HIS HEAD. I swear to god this happened in a real comic book and the entire "Bruce falls off the moon and survives" sequence is utterly delectable goofy nonsense and I truly cannot recall a time I've had more fun reading a comic book.

Anyway, Bruce lands directly outside of the Fortress, BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOES, and runs inside to find Clark and Tim. While Clark keeps Failsafe distracted, Bruce and Tim program nanobots to inject compassion into Failsafe. I SWEAR TO GOD. They zap him with the nanobots, but Failsafe pulls a high tech space gun out of the Fortress and shoots Bruce with it anyway, apparently disintegrating him. Tim falls to his knees in the snow, weeping. TIM NATION, WAKE UP, THIS RUN IS CANDY FOR YOU.

But of course Bruce isn't dead! That wasn't a killing gun, it was a "zap you into another dimension" gun!!! THAT was the compassion!

So Bruce finds himself in a dystopian alternate Gotham, and I'll be honest, I didn't love this arc ("The Bat-Man of Gotham") as much as I loved "Failsafe," but it has its moments. In this Gotham, Bruce Wayne is dead, so Regular Bruce is like "Oh boy, time to Batman this place up." Also he's plagued by hallucinations of a skeleton version of Jim Gordon who is still wearing a trench coat AND A MUSTACHE. Like I said, it has its moments.

This Gotham is controlled by Arkham, and anyone who is diagnosed as "crazy" is locked up. A new villain, Red Mask, is in charge, and Selina and a Venomed-up Harvey Dent work for him. Bruce teams up with an orphan kid (of course) named Jewel and goes after Red Mask, who turns out to be some guy named Darwin Halliday and ALSO...the Joker. Well, he's the Joker who hasn't been Jokerized yet. But one time he breathed in some chemicals that let him see into the main reality of the DCU (???) and glimpsed Regular Joker and now he wants to build an interdimensional machine to mentally connect with Regular Joker across universes which he assumes will make him insane, NATURALLY.

Bruce attacks Red Mask, who sics a Venomed-up Ghost Maker on him. Ghost Maker cuts off Bruce's right hand. Bruce cauterizes it with an electroshock machine and ties some spikes on it (SERIOUSLY) and goes after Red Mask again. Meanwhile Red Mask mentally connects with an alternate dimensional Joker...but instead of it driving Red Mask insane, he's what drives the Joker insane. Desperate to become the Joker somehow, anyhow, he jumps into the interdimensional portal, and Morally Dubious Alternate Universe Selina kicks Bruce in after him.

Meanwhile, Tim is in full "I KNOW I SAW HIM DIE BUT HE'S NOT DEAD" mode, which: bless. So he teams up with Jon Kent, which...gosh, what an astonishingly boring duo. I love Jon, I love Tim, they're perfectly nice and normal around each other, I'm falling asleep. Anyway Tim fights Toyman for a while and then makes a VERY stupid costume where the entire torso is a giant light-up R, because "I want him to see that Robin is coming to save him." GET A THERAPY, TIM.

Bruce finds himself first in the Michael Keaton Batman universe, then the Red Rain universe, BTAS, Batman Beyond (yes I know they're the same universe but I guess he goes there twice), Silver Age, Kingdom Come, Gotham by Gaslight, and more. Adam West gives him a utility belt. The Dark Knight Returns Bruce builds him a robot hand.

Finally Bruce and Red Mask reach the end of the multiverse, which is a Gotham asteroid floating in space, surrounded by giant Jokerized sharks. LUCKILY BRUCE HAS BAT-SHARK REPELLANT IN HIS ADAM WEST UTILITY BELT!!! Honestly this whole arc was worth it for that moment.

Bruce knocks Red Mask out, but now he's stuck. He has a device from Batman Beyond Bruce to get home, but it's only good for one person, and he can't leave Red Mask there to die. Of course, that's when Tim shows up in his stupid giant glowing R costume and they hug it out, thereby fulfilling but also compounding all of Tim's issues since 1989.

Anyway things are fine now, right? Sure, Bruce is hallucinating that his family is on fire, and the Zur personality is not going neatly back into the box where it's been all these years, and he still has a robot hand (Damian, hilariously, immediately announces that he wants one too), but he's FINE. He is a little bit mad at Selina, because she broke out of jail (she was in jail because she killed her fuckbuddy because he was trying to kill Bruce), and also because she didn't tell him Penguin was alive and that would have stopped Failsafe, and also because Other Selina kicked into another universe. Selina, very fairly, is like "Well I'm not responsible for Other Selinas and also maybe don't build robots to kill yourself with and not tell anyone about them???"

THEN we got Knight Terrors, the summer event in which a villain called Nightmare caused everyone to fall asleep and, uh, have nightmares. Bruce, specifically, had a nightmare that he met an eight-year-old version of himself that vomited up a man-sized bat with a gun for a head. I laughed SO HARD. Bruce also had his body borrowed by Deadman for the duration of the event, so while he endured the psychological toll of nightmares like everyone else, he also endured the physical toll of everything Deadman was doing PLUS the mental toll of being aware of what was happening in the waking world even though he couldn't control his body. As soon as the event was over, he lapsed into a coma so that his body could get some damn rest.

Okay. Now we're up to Gotham War.

(I know, I know. But for all of you who are like "How could Bruce do this???" about Gotham War...*points up* THAT'S HOW. HE IS NOT WELL.)

Bruce awakens from his coma and IMMEDIATELY decides to Fight A Crime even though Babs is like "Maybe don't?" But he can't find any crime, which is...weird. His kids confirm that Gotham's been super quiet since he's been out.

Selina hears that Bruce is awake and is like okay, time to pay the piper. She calls all of the Bats to a meeting and explains that she's the reason crime has been down. See, villains like Joker and Two-Face always have goons, right? But what if the goon supply dried up because the goons have better jobs? So Selina has trained All The Goons In Gotham to be...cat burglars. No violence, no stealing from anyone who can't afford it. More importantly, no helping Scarecrow or whoever commit mass murder.

All of the Batkids are like "Hmm...I feel uncertain about this, but it's working...I don't know what to think..." except for Jason, who thinks it's hilarious and is instantly Team Selina, and Damian, who is staunchly Team Bruce. Bruce, meanwhile, is like "No! NO! THIS IS CRIMES, AND CRIMES IS BAD!" and Selina's like "I mean, robbing from the rich is basically a victimless crime" and Bruce screams, I swear to god, "MY PARENTS WERE 'RICH'!" Inexplicable scare quotes and all. I laughed so hard.

Anyway this is the basis for Gotham War and it is endlessly hilarious to me because everyone in the Batfamily is supposed to be a genius and yet not one single character has pointed out that:

There are jobs the goons could be doing that AREN'T illegal. It's not just violent crime vs. nonviolent crime. There are in fact many other jobs! I am POSITIVE Gotham needs construction workers and hospital orderlies. (Yes, I know it's hard for people with records to get jobs. That isn't addressed.)

Being Batman is SUPER ILLEGAL.

They are all so stupid.

Selina's plan doesn't even work, because one of her thieves gets killed by a rich person defending their home, and Bruce is like "See? This is why crime is bad!" and like...pretty much snaps. He's particularly fixated on Jason, even (rhetorically) threatening to kill him, which is when the other kids jump into the fray on Jason's side, all except for Damian, who like I said is firmly Team Bruce. (This makes complete sense to me, Damian has been dealing with severe trauma and isolation pretty much nonstop since 2018 and he and Bruce have finally made a tenuous peace, so I can understand why he wouldn't want to lose that.)

Also, Vandal Savage buys Wayne Manor. It's so random and SO funny.

OKAY BATMAN #138. Bruce has kidnapped Jason and injected him with a variation on fear toxin which will be triggered whenever Jason's adrenaline spikes, the idea being that Jason is no longer capable of killing - but in practice, Jason is no longer capable of even getting up off the floor, he's so terrified. I want to be really, really clear here: Bruce is like 90% Zur here, and the only reason he goes this route and doesn't kill Jason is because the remaining 10% that's still Bruce loves Jason and is trying to help him. He's just incapable of good or humane help because Zur literally can't do feelings.

Dick knows something is up and is sneaking around Bruce's Secret Other House We've Never Heard Of to figure out what it is. Damian attacks him to protect Bruce. Tim attacks Damian so that Dick can do what he needs to do, and handcuffs Damian to a parking meter:

THERE IS SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE!!! TIM GO TO THERAPY! DAMIAN GO TO THERAPY! EVERYONE GO TO THERAPY!!!!!

Dick figures out what Bruce did to Jason (it's on the computer, for...some reason?) and absolutely loses his shit on Bruce, beating the crap out of him, which tbh is the only thing that felt off to me in this run because frankly I don't think Dick likes Jason that much. BUT WHATEVER.

Tim pulls Dick off of Bruce. Bruce leaves them both tangled in a net and flees as the cops approach. Zur's like "Good, fuck 'em" in Bruce's head, because the cops will expose Dick, Tim, and Damian's secret identities and Bruce will be free of the dead weight of a family, but the little bit of Bruce still in there throws Dick a batarang so he can free them all in time.

Then Bruce leaves. Damian is devastated.

I WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS PAGE. Damian really thought he could have Bruce's love and loyalty if he turned on everyone else! Tim is going to be a therapy dog to a Wayne even if he has to settle for the one he doesn't like! That unresisting, blank hug made me SCREAM when I turned the page. Incredible. (Also the art fucking S L A P S, god bless you Jorge Jimenez.)

ALSO it turns out that Selina's second in command has been Vandal Savage's daughter Scandal Savage the whole time and they are turning Selina's cat burglar army into their own personal army WHOOPS. (This also feels very OOC for Scandal but at this point I trust Zdarsky with my life so let's see where things go.)

SO THAT'S WHAT'S GOING ON IN GOTHAM WAR. TL;DR:

Bruce is unhinged because he nearly died like 19 times in a week and it unlocked the smaller, meaner purple Batman that lives inside him.

Selina is unaware that you can get money legally.

Tim is going to have a nervous breakdown if he can't fix someone, ANYONE.

Damian needs a hug but ideally from someone he actually likes this time.

Jason is so scared.

THE END.

[honeylations]

KIM MINJEONG X FEM!READER

Prompt: With you dating nerdy + med student, Kim Minjeong, people think you are in control. But they don’t know your girlfriend’s true self behind closed doors.

Warnings/Notes: g!p Minjeong, secretly dom Minjeong, shy in the streets sexy in the sheets, sub reader, femme reader, shy Minjeong in public

A/N: sorry I disappeared for a month or so, I was swamped with other commitments T^T

“Hey Y/n” Aeri appears in front of your table in the cafeteria, holding her own tray of lunch.

“Hey Aeri, how was class?”

She sat down in a tired manner and even added a dramatic sigh. You smiled at her.

“I don’t even want to talk about it”

“That bad huh?”

“Bad? It was so boring! I knew I should’ve bought a Red Bull beforehand. Anyways, how about your classes?”

You placed your chopsticks down and shrugged. “Could say the same but I’m getting by smoothly thanks to Minjeong. She helps me once she finishes her stuff”

“I forget you’re dating that nerd sometimes” Aeri rolled her eyes.

“Hey don’t call her that! She’s adorable”

“Hi girlies! Hope you don’t mind us joining” Jimin and Yizhou appear and took their seats.

“What are you guys talking about?” Yizhou asked, looking between you and Aeri.

“About Y/n’s nerdy loser girlfriend”

“I said don’t call her that Aeri!” You whined, whacking your chopsticks at her knuckles.

“Ow hey! It’s basically true!”

You looked at the other two girls for help but by the look of their timid faces, you could tell they were on Aeri’s side. “You don’t know her like I do”

The 3 girls turn their heads to look at where Minjeong was sitting alone. She was munching on an onigiri while flipping through her fat text book, pausing for a second just to push her thick glasses up her nose.

“I’m not against you dating her, Y/n. We’re just surprised that you two even clicked” Jimin simply said, going back to eating her own food.

“I assume you top in the relationship” Yizhou winked, making your face go red.

“Um…yeah. Totally” You smiled awkwardly because they definitely didn’t know what goes down when you and Minjeong are alone.

“A-Ah! Minjeong-ah!” You gasped out a moan when your girlfriend pulled your hair back while blowing your back out.

“Mmm so good, Princess”

It took her a couple more thrusts before she flipped you on your back, letting your head fall onto the pillow, giving you a view of your girlfriend in her white tank top, messy hair, and black framed glasses.

This was the Minjeong you didn’t want the girls to know about which is why you played along with their nerd stereotypes on your girlfriend.

Minjeong was introverted in public, even when you’re by her side holding her hand. Your friends like to believe that you’re in control of the relationship but if they were to walk into your sex moments with Minjeong, they’ll realise that everything they have claimed was actually the other way around.

During sex, Minjeong was a whole different person and you loved her just as much as when she’s shy in public. She will not stop until you’re a drooling mess.

Minjeong leaned down to softly kiss the marks she had left all over your skin before finishing with a soft peck to your lips. She held your legs up by the ankles and proceeded to push her 8.5 inch inside your abused slick covered hole. Your back arched as you fisted the sheets again.

“O-Oh fuck Minjeong baby”

“I wonder what your friends will say when they see you like this, Princess” Minjeong asked rhetorically, enjoying the way you looked at her with hooded eyes and swollen lips.

She leaned down until her lips hovered yours. “I’m in control baby. Your friends can make fun of me as much as they want but when it’s just us, you’re following my orders”

You nodded pathetically, letting her words arouse you even more. “Yes you’re in control, Minjeong-ah”

“Can’t get enough of my cock, can you?”

You shook your head in tears, feeling Minjeong thrust faster that you were slapping against her pelvis. “M-Minjeong ah!”

“Fuck I love you so much, baby. So fucking good for my cock” the taller grunted as she fucked you harder than ever.

You continued to cry her name which made Minjeong wrap your legs around her waist so she could lean down and capture your quivering lips. She was nice enough to slow her thrusts to let your cunt breathe.

“My poor baby. Crying from how good my cock is. You think you deserve to have my cum?” She asked in a baby tone.

You nodded desperately, running your hands underneath the back of her tank top so you could feel her soft skin. “Please Minjeongie. I’ve been good all day”

“You have, haven’t you? Always a good girl for daddy” she kissed your forehead before removing her glasses, and began thrusting again like a maniac.

You clawed onto her back for dear life, feeling so full and destroyed from her monstrous shaft that you could never get tired of. “Fuck yes daddy, fuck me like that!”

“Mmm Y/n-ie” she whimpered in your ear breathlessly.

“Cum in me please daddy, I want it all”

Minjeong grunted in response, biting deep into your shoulder as she rocked herself inside you and releasing an insane amount of cum. The thick liquid triggered your own orgasm, mixing your load with Minjeong’s and feeling it ooze out of you.

You were panting hard as your girlfriend continued to move but at a slower pace, helping her ride out the mind blowing orgasm.

She softly laid on top of you. “Thank you, baby” she mumbled cutely into your shoulder.

The mood change baffles you every time, mostly leaving you in a fit of giggles and hugging your girlfriend closer. “You’re welcome, Minjeongie. Feel better?”

You were talking about her pent up frustrations earlier which had led to the steamy sex. Your poor girl was forced to tutor two other students in her class when all she wanted to spend time with you.

“Yes so much better. Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you did I? Researchers stated that harsh vaginal penetration can lead to life threatening bleeding”

It wasn’t so bad having an impressively smart girlfriend. But it’s bad when your girlfriend is also a big overthinker. “You’re saying that while still being inside me”

Minjeong looked down and realised you were right. “Oh sorry, baby”

You released a soft sigh as she pulled out her slick covered dick, lowkey admiring the mess you both had made on the sheets. Your girlfriend quickly wore her glasses just to get a better view and you rolled your eyes at her little grin. “You’re proud aren’t you?”

“Did you know sperm can be preserved for decades when the semen is frozen?”

“Ugh shut up and sleep with me. I need my cuddles”

Minjeong was quick to obey. “Did you know that during cuddles with someone you love, your body releases oxytocin that calms you and makes you more likely to deal better with stress?”

“Hey baby, did you know that if you say one more fact, the chances of me chopping your dick off are highly likely?” You fired back.

Minjeong took off her glasses and placed them on the side table before spooning you tightly. “Sorry baby. Goodnight. I love you”

“I love you too, baby”

“….did you know—“

“Minjeong!”

“Sorry!”

A/N: don’t @ me for them random faxts, I just got them from Google😭

[nanivinsmoke]

Spring break

Geto x Gojo x F!Reader

oh yall already know this gone be some freak nasty shit! these two fuckers in one fic with each other? oh yeah, you might as well submit. enjoy~!

summary ~ it’s spring break, time to have fun and unwind, and to get stuffed….

warnings and tags ~ fingering, overstimulation, car sex (fingering only), squirting, multiple orgasms, public sex, blow job (rough), creampie (mouth) jealousy, friends with benefits, part two will have so much more~.

words ~ 2.6k

twelve days. twelve whole days you’ll be with the two of them.

originally there were going to be six of you, but everybody bailed last minute; except those two. you were upset that not everyone was coming, but you were glad you were at least going to be with your two best friends. you needed this vacation, you needed to destress and keep your mind off work. you were here to have fun, and nothing was going to ruin it.

the three of you were packed into the black comfortable suv that geto rented, with you in the passenger seat, gojo in the back sleeping and geto driving. the drive to your vacation spot was long and every three hours you guys would rotate, so the each of you would have driven and the other two could rest.

but, you couldn’t sleep and it was all thanks to him. his thick finger pumped in and out of your sopping wet pussy, while keeping his eyes on the road. your shorts, along with your panties, were slightly pulled down to give him better access to your warm cunt, your slick dripping onto the car’s crème brule colored seat. soft moans escaping your plump lips as he curled his fingers, rubbing against your spot.

“shhh, we don’t want you waking him up in the back. wouldn’t want him to catch me playing with this sweet pussy, now would we?~” his voice low and deep, pinching your swollen clit, glancing at you from his peripheral. you shook your head and placed your hand over your mouth to muffle your moans.

“good girl. now, cum for daddy~” he pushed his fingers back inside of you, pumping hard and fast; guiding you to your orgasm. and you came hard too, biting your hand to stop the loud moan that escaped your throat. he slowly continued to finger your cunt, before pulling out—leaving you breathless and drained while he licked your sweet cum from his fingers.

you sat in your seat, in a orgasmic daze—trying to catch your breath, while gojo began to stir in his sleep. his crystal blue eyes opened and he sat up with a yawn, making geto look in the rear view mirror. “gps says we should be there in ten minutes,” he spoke like read his mind, glancing at you with a smirk etched on his face.

you knew that in those ten minutes that you were fucked.

———

the house the three of you rented was huge, it had three big bedrooms with adjoining bathrooms, a huge infinity pool, a jacuzzi on the deck, a movie room and a bar in the basement. these twelve days were going to be memorable.

dropping your suitcase and luggage down into the bedroom you picked out, you plopped on the soft king sized bed—face deep into the pillows, mind still clouded with thoughts of geto and you in the car. just the thought of gojo catching the both of you, had you pressing your legs together as that familiar throbbing sensation reappeared.

what would gojo do? what would he say if he saw his best friend getting finger fucked by his other best friend? would he join in? make geto pull the car over so they could stuff you with their cocks?

before you know it, your hands have found their way into your shorts; rubbing your sensitive clit and dipping into your wet hole. with your eyes being closed, you didn’t see the spiky haired white male appear in your room; amused to see you playing with yourself, but shocked to hear you moan his and geto’s name. he softly closes the door behind him, startling you.

“so what I saw in the car, wasn’t my imagination? im a little jealous you let geto of all people play with that pretty pussy.” so he did see everything. you said nothing and only kept your eyes on him, a little shy that you were caught playing with yourself. a smirked eased onto his face as he sat on the bed in front of your spread legs, eyes dropping to your clothed cunt, then back up to your eyes.

“idiot only let you cum once too. no wonder you want more.” his eyes low and lidded, his hands softly tracing your bare thigh, sending flutters to your pussy. his hands slowly make its way to the middle of your shorts, rubbing the area where your clit hid underneath. you let out a breath of air, amazed at how easily he found your clit, pressing on it hard enough where it sent shivers up your spine.

“let me teach you how many times a woman should cum,” he unbuttoned your shorts, pulling them down with your help and tossed them to the other side of the room.

a whistle left his mouth and he smirked, “whew, you’ve been waiting for this? so wet for me already~” his hands rubbed on the outline of your puffy lips, the deep stain of your slick that soiled your panties—stuck against the tips of his fingers. “gojo~” you whined, wanting him to stop teasing and push his fingers inside—or to put something else in.

a chuckle escaped his lips, “so needy for me~.” he pulled the soaked fabric aside, your puffy lips glistening from your slick. he took a second to admire how pretty your cunt looked, before his lips attached to your clit—sucking and swirling his tongue on it. your hands immediately latched onto his winter white locks, pushing him deeper into your cunt.

he mumbled against your wetness, the vibrations made your clit throb while moans spilled from your plump lips. he pushed two of his long fingers into your aching hole, causing you to gasp. “oh fuck gojo!” you moaned loudly, making him detach from your clit— slick all over his lips. “want geto to hear your slut noises? want him to come in here and catch me two—three fingers deep inside of you?” he pushed another finger inside of you, stretching your hole.

you wanted to scream from the sensation, his long digits rubbing against your spot with each pump—your cunt clenching around him crazily. “did you just get wetter from that? so fucking nasty” he reattached his lips to your clit, pumping inside of you faster. that ball in your stomach was getting bigger by the second and you so desperately wanted to cum—no needed to cum for him.

“so close, g’na cum for you” you breathe out, rotating your hips against his lips. he began to swirl his tongue in a different manner—shivers and jolts of excitement being sent up your spine. and by the time you realized he was spelling his name on your clit, that ball exploded inside of you—with you coming undone underneath him.

he slurped and sucked, fingers still pumping inside of you, making sure that he didn’t waste not one drop of your sweet cum—pulling away with a trail of slick following him. “mhm, only got to the letter ‘u’. don’t get too comfortable now, sweetheart” gojo didn’t even let you recuperate before he slid you between his legs, his boner pressing into the top of your ass.

you tried to reach around to palm him through his pants, but he stopped you—looking down at you with a smirk. “not yet, princess. not until i get you to cum until you can’t anymore.” his words caused you to gulp and you looked away from his hypnotizing eyes, looking at his big hands that hovered over your mound.

“which feels better. one—“ he circles your clit with two fingers and pinches your nipple with the other hand, a mewl leaving your lips, before continuing. “—or two” he moves his hands from your clit and pushes them back into your cunt, arousal immediately coating his fingers. you rock your hips into his hand, wanting—no needing more. and when he didn’t hear your answer, he removed his fingers, making you whine in response.

“let daddy know which one feels better, princess. now one or two” he repeated himself, this time he curled his fingers on the second one, while his palm sat on your clit; adding pressure to it. “two! oh my god, two~.” he chuckled and began pumping his thick fingers in and out of your sloppy, wet cunt—his palm rubbing on your clit adding double pleasure for you.

the sounds of your moans and your sex squelching, echoed throughout the room. he was pumping in and out of you like a madman, hitting your spot each time. and you were getting close, so so close. “cum all over daddy’s fingers. let daddy feel how that pretty pussy cum’s for him, kay’?” you nodded your head, pussy clenching around his fingers rapidly before you let go once again.

his fingers didn’t move from your cunt, no matter how much you squeezed your legs together. “can’t. too much—please, satoru~” you whimpered, looking at the sloppy mess you were making—slick mixed with your cream staining the sheets underneath you. “one more baby, cum for me just one more time. daddy wants to see you cum for him, one more time~”

fuck, it was so easy to listen to every word he said. you wanted to obey him. to cum for him on his command. to let him see how messy you were. to see how much you wanted him to fuck you senseless in the mattress. he pumped inside you faster, rotating his fingers around—stretching you more and more. his palm, now covered in your slick, continued to rub on your clit.

your walls squeezed around his fingers, with you cumming harder than the last. this time it was more intense—a clear stream of your fluid flowing out, dampening the bed even more. “yes, that’s it baby. that’s what daddy wanted, good girl” his pace quickened and you could feel yourself going insane as he drained you.

your body jolted and convulsed as you released, even when nothing came out. eyes rolled back and hands gripping onto the bed. you didn’t even notice that satoru left your room, leaving you to sit in the puddle of your cum.

———

day two.

you were trying so hard to be quiet, so the two of you wouldn’t get caught by the store’s workers. but, how could you when his tongue was so deep in your pussy, licking every crevice and teasing your gummy walls. you grinded again his chisled face, hands getting tangled in his sleek raven hair, tugging it as his lips sucked on your swollen clit.

the two of you decided to explore the town’s shopping district, stopping in a cute clothing store when you were ogling at this cute dress in the window. and when geto snuck into your dressing room, he couldn’t keep his hands off of you.

“cumming for you—suguru!” you whined when he pulled you off of his mouth, cutting your orgasm short. he smirked and got up from the dressing room’s soft bench, licking up your slick that covered his mouth. “this was your punishment, baby. I knew what you and gojo were doing yesterday.” you bit your lip, avoiding his intimidating gaze.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you immediately regretted the lie that flew out of your mouth, knowing that there was consequences to follow. he reached around and made you face him, brown eyes dark and lidded as he stared at you. “not only did you let him touch what’s mine, but you lied about it too? tch, g’na have to—punish—you!”

he pushed you down onto his lap, hand colliding with your ass causing you to yelp out. he sent another smack to your ass, in the same spot, this time a moan came out instead. “suguru, please~” you begged, earning another smack to your fat ass—another yelp followed after—making him hit your ass harder than before. you had to bite your lip hard to stop the scream that desperately wanted to be let out.

“see you have a problem with shutting up. gonna have to shut you the fuck up,” he pulled you back by your hair, unzipping his pants with one hand, making his cock springing to life. it was so fat and pretty. tip a nice shade of red, leaking with his precum. mouth drooling at the sight, your plump lips immediately latched onto it—welcoming him right into your warm mouth. he sucked in some air, loving the tightness of your mouth—almost forgetting this was a punishment.

he pushed your head down, bucking his hips upwards, his cock now deep into your mouth—touching the beginning of your throat. your eyes widened at the sudden force, tears brimming your eyes as he begun to fuck your mouth. so much spit coated his dick, dribbling out the corners of your mouth and onto his pants. it was so, so, so messy, yet you couldn’t help but want more.

the more he pounded your sweet little mouth, stretching it with each thrust, you got used to him—taking more of him each time. you were getting more aroused by the second, slick dripping from your lonely cunt—down your thick thighs. his cock was so addicting, you couldn’t get enough of the taste nor the smell of his balls, getting a whiff each time his cum filled balls met your nose.

geto’s eyes rolled back and his mouth was gaped open, low grunts leaving his mouth as his cock explored your mouth, the softness of it made him want to fuck you harder—deeper— he wanted to break your mouth and stuff it full of his hot load. his hand landed on your ass again, the fat rippling from the impact, making you moan against his cock— vibrating against his shaft.

he was so lost in the essence of your mouth, that he completely forgot where he was at until a knock was heard, causing his coffee colored eyes to pop open.

“uh, we’re about close soon. could you please hurry up?” a man spoke on the other side of the door. you had

“give me—shit—a second~” he grunted, looking down at you with pure arousal as you fondled his balls that was coated in your saliva.

“sir! I need you to hur—“

“i said give me a fucking second— shit, g’na cum, drink my fucking cum, slut~” geto yelled at the man, cutting him off mid sentence and making the male leave, while he thrusted in your mouth faster. his hot—thick load pooled into your mouth, coating the inside of your cheeks white. you gave his balls a squeeze, hoping to empty them out as you swallowed his cum. the warmness from it spilling down your throat, making you squirt—splashing onto the mirror behind you and the dress you were looking at before, staining it.

he pulled out of you with a pop sound following, spit and his left over cum trailing from your mouth which you happily slurped back up with a smile on your face. he reached over and grabbed you by the jaw, cheeks puffing up as he stared at you before he pressed his lips into yours, tasting himself when his tongue entered yours.

“fuck. i need to get you back to the house, i want to fuck that little throat some more~”

the two of you quickly got dressed and left the dressing room, bumping into the male worker on the way out and throwing a wad of money at him.

“i don’t get paid enough for this shit”

[grub-hut]

I don't use Tiktok, never will, In my opinion I think the app should shut down. [ But that will never happen... So I will cope.] But god are ya'll are insufferable on there. The fact you have this strong par asocial attachment to Sebastian and claim that Zerum is ""ruining the character"" is just blasphemy and shows you guys know nothing to zero about writing and do not play the game whats so ever. I've talked to Zerum; Ive talked to the devs and mods ; and all the false claims and misinformation that's being spread like a wildfire IS CRAZY. Everyone's so exhausted. It takes just a couple of minutes to prove it's false but that would actually require these people to literally sit down and fucking read. Zerum never banned anybody. Zerum doesn't handle the bans in the server. If you got banned or muted, it was most likely the automod in the server that they have implemented to avoid people saying anything weird or sexual... [ A friend of mine got muted because they sent a gif that had a weird name to it; nothing related to the gif, the gif was fine and they filed a ticket and got unmuted. Its just the bot doing its job.] and even then the mods probably banned you for something completely unrelated...

and even then, can we STOP normalizing this??

Like this GRINDS my gears, it fucking rusts, it makes me want to break down and combust into flames- Stop. Stop. YOU ARE THE ISSUE. Creators want to create. Either for ourselves or for others, whatever it maybe people enjoy letting their creativity flow because ITS FUN. IT SHOULD BE--- FUN!!! We are giving you literally something free and something to ENJOY because we enjoy it just as much! This stupid fucking mindset being so normalized makes me SO SICK. " whatever is put on the internet is free reign!" you guys have ZERO respect for any creator; even yourselves and its so BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. You guys preach about "respecting artists/creators" till it doesnt fit with your agenda, because we should just "expect" our works to be disrespected and used. Like our feelings never mattered. Are we going to ignore the discussion of AI art too? Or copyright, or literally anything of that sort here? Yes, its the internet, there WILL be people who are so drastically cruel and do something you will not like. I do agree its best to ignore those kinds of people but that does not mean we should just LET it happen. It does not mean we should suck it up and take the blows. This is how people stop creating, youre killing artists, youre shunning them away because "its the internet, lol, dont get mad if ppl -" Stop it, you're teaching younger generations that it does not matter if you have boundaries or not and that your voice doesnt mean anything. I mean fuck, you put your oc here I can use it however I want then! Because you shouldve expected the moment you click post for other people to use it! Who cares right?! its OUR oc now >:)!!! No matter what the character is from, by a indie game, a comic, a book, yadda yadda. If youre gonna be scum, you are gonna BE scum. Artists should be respected and be listened to. If Zerum ships her oc to her oc, so fucking what? She created him. YES. SHE CREATED HIM. Just because she is a """co-owner" You forget she wrote and designed him. You forget its STILL HER CHARACTER. WHICH BTW, HE WOULDNT EXIST IF IT WASNT FOR ZERUM!! ITS HER CHARACTER- Not yours, and if your first thing that comes to mind " oh but shes ruining her character" then so what, its not MADE for you. Hell, Sebastian is only like 1% of the whole entire game! ENJOY THE GAME, ENJOY THE ACTUAL LORE. MAKE YOUR OWN OCS, GO WACKY WOOHOO AND ENJOY IT WITH OTHERS. If you make headcanons for Sebastian or any other characters! Great! As long as you are respectful who literally cares. HAVE FUN! Stop harassing and bullying and literally spreading misinfo; I am so sick of people with this mindset! This is why the internet is such a shit place to begin with because we just let this stuff happen. Grow up! Like PAInter said.." YOURE NO FUN AT ALL!"

[landoscaring]

my thoughts on monza '24

let me preface this post with a big fucking heave of a sigh

[siiiiiigh]

i gotta admit that i was nervous for this one. the tension has been building up, the pace has gotten stronger, and the media have had a field day commenting on mclaren's strategy. it's been stressful.

on the one hand i gotta say as a mclaren purist that yeah, this blows, but also the fact that this is what we're worrying over? two wdc-potential drivers in our team??? the pace being too good??? like. yeah. give me this over the DNFs and the shit car.

but then.

ugh.

i support lando and oscar equally. always. until the day their contract's up. that being said:

McLaren need to make up their minds

Oscar didn't do anything wrong today

Lando wasn't going to win the race even if he'd kept P1 from the beginning because the tye strat was off anyway

the media NEED TO STOP THE NARRATIVE AROUND OSCAR HELPING LANDO SCORE A WDC BECAUSE THAT'S NOT WHAT LANDO WANTS. do you think he wants to win a wdc because his teammate, who he knows is competitive enough, rolled over and let him through? fuck no, that's not the lando we know

i completely understand the frustration some fans have, but it's misdirected. IF mclaren stepped the fuck up and gave clear orders to both their drivers, this wouldn't be such a shit show

i don't fully agree that team orders are the way to go, but also, i would appreciate if they just made up their minds about it already? time's running out

some fans' takes about this whole thing are just...bad

insert taylor swift quote about "you wouldn't have survived in the asylum they raised me" or whatever because hah, this is nothing, you guys. a few people would've fainted with the way things happened with lewis and nico, mark and seb, prost and senna... and countless more. this sport is RUTHLESS. and CUTTHROAT. it's not tiktok edits with taylor swift songs in the background. oscar did what he knew he could do under the orders given to them both (papaya rules)

in a way i think this needed to happen -and has been building up for a while- for a few reasons, a) for mclaren to wake the fuck up and make up their minds already, b) for fans to realize that oscar is not lando's lapdog and he fully intends to fight for race wins, and c) that just because we like to imagine they're bffs or boyfriends in our fan spaces it doesn't mean they got to be okay with each other all the time. let them be upset. let them be angry. it is what it is.

it was a great race. probably one of the best we've seen all season. as a retired ferrari fan (but really, everyone is a ferrari fan in this sport) i thoroughly enjoyed watching charles win today. he deserved it on grit alone. and their strategy worked, which is something that mclaren needs to learn from.

i will continue to support these two idiots in their highs and lows. neither of them are perfect, and there's so much room for improvement. they're young. allow them some grace when you comment about how this or that should've happened. lando is wdc material, yes, but he wants and needs to earn it.

that's all, folks

[rosedpetal]

Behave is SOOO hot! I can’t help but imagine giving Bucky a taste of his own medicine. Let’s see how he reacts when he’s suddenly too aware of the men thirsting over his wife and maybe a little bratty twist that while his wife doesn’t entertain them, she also doesn’t stop them, bonus if she keeps Bucky at a distance. then bam, he snaps. Filthy jealous/possessive smut. I’m sorry imma see my way out ur work short circuited my brain 😭

girly, he'd be PISSED

Part I | Masterlist

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: smut.

Minors, do not interact.

To say you were enjoying your little power trip was an understatement.

Dressed in a long gown, with your hair up in the most beautiful bun Bucky's ever seen, a few locks loose to frame your face, and your makeup done by a professional, you were a vision to behold.

Unfortunately, it wasn't for his eyes only.

Being the wife of an Avenger meant dealing with people and fancy events. Most of the time, Bucky accepted the attention with grace, and then moved on with his life.

But on some very rare occurrences, his fans and the press also turned their attention to you.

It wasn't that Bucky wasn't proud of the gorgeous woman by his side — he gave you one of those freaking Darry engagement rings that could only be bought once by person, and married you only half a year later. 'I don't wanna give you any more time that could make you change your mind', were his exact words to you. He was insane about you. You were the love of his life, and he overcame so much to make sure he would be worthy of your love.

He worshipped the ground you walked on. And he wasn't afraid to tell you that.

But just like a man born in his time, Bucky was extremely possessive of his wife.

And he couldn't stand the two photographers flashing their cameras at you and asking you to 'turn around', 'blow a kiss' or 'smile'.

Bucky's mood was changing quickly, as he analyzed every micro expression on their faces as they took pictures of you. Your face, your dress, your fucking curves.

And you were gracefully accepting every little praise, your smile a little too bright for Bucky's liking.

While he tried to detain his thoughts to going for that dark place, were he would bash these assholes' heads on the concrete until they were beyond recognition, he couldn't help but wonder what had triggered such a reckless behavior from you.

Did he do something that riled you up during this week? He remembers unloading the dishwasher the moment you asked for it. Sometimes he forgets his shoes in the middle of the living room, but it surely couldn't be it.

His eyes darkened in realization when he finally figured you out. Letting these men fawn over you like you were a free woman... That was payback.

Bucky was very aware of your territorial nature when it came to him. For fucks sake, you let the whole world know when you were pissed at another woman for eye fucking him just by the way your eyebrows furrowed and your lips pressed in a thin line, — which once Thor made the mistake of pointing to, and the mean mug you gave the Asgardian still haunted his dreams to this day.

So, Bucky teased you for it. It was okay, right? It was just light banter. You couldn't be possibly punishing him for such a petty reason right the fuck now?

His mind took a quick turn to all the life choices he made that had lead to this exact moment. You giggling and tossing your hair while other men undressed you with their eyes.

It doesn't matter that they were simply doing their jobs. He could see how long they were taking to photograph you when... Well, Bucky was the famous one.

The moment one of the photographers' hands went for you, Bucky instantly reacted, putting himself between you and the fucking moron that seemed to conveniently forget that you were a married woman and your husband was right there.

"Don't you dare touch my wife. Keep running your fucking mouth and taking your fucking pictures and I'll show you why they used to call me Winter Soldier." Bucky's voice was low and lacking any emotion, his vibranium hand wrapped tightly around the dude's wrist.

Bucky's threat wasn't directed at you, but it went straight to your core. You felt all warm and fuzzy inside as he went all alpha mode.

The two guys quickly excused themselves after that, and you let out a light chuckle.

"Thank God, they finally left. I was worried for a second they were gonna blind me with- hey, what are you doing? Bucky, what the fuck?" You whispered as he practically dragged you back to the waiting car, quickly sending a text to Sam to let him know you two were leaving early.

He opened the door for you and you quickly scooped inside, knowing your husband was mad. Bucky sat next to you and told the driver to roll up the partition wall.

"Bucky, talk to me!" You finally snapped, annoyed. "Why are we leaving early?"

"Because-" Bucky turned to you, interrupting himself when he noted how loud he was being, lowering his voice on the next words, and pointing his index finger to your face, eyes boring into yours. "Because you decided to piss me the hell off tonight, and I'm gonna have to teach you how properly a married woman should behave."

Your eyes widened in indignation as you threw your bag in the couch. "Excuse me? How properly I should what? I'm sorry to inform you, honey, but this is the 21st fucking century, not the damn 40s."

Bucky chuckled, humorlessly. The audacity of you. To twirl your hair locks while smiling at other men flirting with you openly, and now pretend he was the bad guy for reprimanding you.

"You're gonna keep your mouth shut until we get home, and if you so much as try to be cute with me, I promise that what I have in store for you is gonna turn ten times worse."

You raised your eyebrow. Maybe you were looking for trouble today, but you sure as hell weren't about to let Bucky undermine you over his bruised ego.

"What are you now, a caveman? Is your masculinity so fragile that you can't stand the fact that I can be lusted after too? When you smirk at me across the room while women are flaunting themselves to you, you think you're the only one entitled to make me feel insecure, as if you're a goddamn prize?"

"Y/N-"

"No, please, enlighten me on why the hell you think you can joke with your friends about my possessiveness and act exactly the same, then have the guts to belittle me for it!"

"Dollface-"

"You know what? I was only posing-"

"Goddamnit, will you shut up?" Bucky snapped. "I don't smirk at you across the room to show off and make you jealous, I do it because I thought it was our thing! Some delusional girl will come to me, I'll playfully smile at you because we both joke on how ridiculous they are! I'm not trying to make you insecure, you insane little thing, I think it's cute how you react every time, and how you never direct your anger at me. And by the way, I never tossed or twirled my hair for any woman, or giggled, just to spite you!"

You clenched your fists. No. Even if he was right (which he wasn't), you couldn't just give in and apologize right now. You had reasons to be pissed, you were tired of being teased, as if you were the only one in the relationship that was overly jealous. You knew your words should've been measured, but right now, you couldn't care less. You crossed your arms, voice neutral as you gave him the fatal blow:

"You know what I think, James? I think you're not enough of a man, and what I just did broke your little illusion of power. That's what got your lady panties in a twist."

Bucky's jaw clenched, a flash of anger coursing through his veins. "What the fuck did you just say to me?"

"Are you deaf?"

Two seconds of you staring at him with your coy little act, he was fuming and he practically lunged at you. You squealed and giggled when he pushed you to lay on your back in the leather seat of the limo, breathless and flustered.

"You little minx. You're about to get spanked in the back of a limo like the whore you are." Bucky hissed in your ear, maneuvering you so you were laying on your stomach. He impatiently raised the long skirts of your dress, not even giving you time to prepare for the series of blows he delivered to your poor ass.

Your giggles quickly stopped, and they turned to whimpers.

"C'mon, brat, tell me I'm not a man now." He nibbled your earlobe, pressing his chest against your back. "I dare you. Go ahead, baby. I'm waiting."

Your ass had his fingerprints now, a beautiful shade of red in them. More beautiful than the blush on your cheeks. Your lip was quivering when he was done, finally showing mercy on your rear. You sighed in relief and he gave you a wolfish grin, his hand sliding between your thighs and collecting your arousal, gently spreading it on your folds, his voice low and full of purpose:

"We're just getting started, baby girl."

"This is not fair." You whined, your words dying down when his index and middle finger entered you, opening you up for him. You bit your hand when curled his digits, brushing against your spongy spot.

"What's not fair? Do you want me to stop?" Bucky teased, kissing your neck.

It was getting hot inside the limo, with your gown and your husband crowding you against the leather seats. The sweat was quickly forming in your skin, and it was a bit uncomfortable, but you couldn't bring yourself to tell him to stop.

"No... I just-"

"I just-" Bucky mocked you, clicking his tongue. "Can't even speak anymore?"

"It's hot." You complained, in a whiny tone.

Bucky sighed, sitting up to turn the air conditioner on, the cold breeze welcomed to you both. His fingers never left your pussy, and he scissored you hard, smirking at how you tried to keep it down so the poor driver wouldn't hear you.

Reluctantly, he pulled his hand from you, pulling your head back by your hair and shoving his slick digits on your mouth, which you eagerly licked clean. Bucky undid his slacks, groaning in relief when he freed his rock hard length from the constricting fabric. He pulled you to his lap, your back to his chest, your thighs spread over his.

"Think you can ride me without hitting your head in the ceiling?" He whispered on your ear as you grabbed his cock and aligned him at your entrance.

"Hmmm... Probably no." You looked up.

"Then stay still while Daddy fucks you."

Your mouth hung open when he slammed into you, harder than you expected, without giving you time to get used to his thickness. He shoved his tie on your mouth to muffle your moans, one hand on your hip and the other squeezing your breast, while he pistoned his hips up.

You didn't even make a sound.

The sound of his balls slapping against your clit and the shameful, wet noise of your pussy being rammed were enough.

"See why I'm so obsessed with you? Why I can't stand you being lusted after? It's cause the thought of someone else having this pussy makes me wanna rip my fucking hair out, baby." Bucky murmured in your ear, his movements not easing down, not faltering for a second. "I know I have no leg to stand on, acting jealous and possessive of you, but fuck if I'm taking a single risk of losing you, of losing this."

Your eyes rolled back, your walls clamping down violently on your husband's cock, and you spasmed above him, reaching your apex.

With a groan that made you blush, Bucky came in hot spurts, filling you up with his load.

His chest was rising and falling as if he ran a marathon, and he gently patted your thigh. "C'mon baby, pull yourself together. We just got home. I'm not done with you yet."

[wajjs]

I’m a bit curious on Hal’s personality in his depictions. From what I know is that early hal was headstrong, cocky, kind of a goofball, and detached (dissociating away his fear and averse to commitment). This seems to be the version of Hal that most people write.

But then there’s the whole Parallax thing, and the Spectre run. I don’t know much about it but it seems hal gets a lot more subdued and melancholy as the spectre. And then after that he comes back as flesh and bone.

So what is he like at the end of that?

Pre-Johns and pre-Parallax Hal tended to be more happy go lucky, stupid, and generally doe eyed hopeful "the system that fucked me over once definitely won't do it again!" type of man. He was also entitled at times. But this is mostly true up until around the time of Hard Traveling Heroes, which is when he starts to be heartbroken and melancholic, traits that persist until the climax of Emerald Twilight.

A lot of people say Emerald Twilight came from nowhere and I disagree. I think those people weren't paying attention, because all the signs were there. Hal had been steadily becoming more disillusioned and melancholic through the 70s and 80s until we get to the 90s, where that heartbreak gets amplified to the nth degree. Hal didn't go from stupid to mad with grief without a transition period in the middle. But a lot of people think once a run from x writer ends, it no longer counts for the next one, and so they say the tragedy came from nowhere.

At the very start of the 90s, Hal has a lot of suicidal ideation going on. The run itself begins with him more or less saying "There’s nowhere else to go" (paraphrasing) and throwing himself off a cliff. He waits until he's almost crashing head first into the ground to pull himself out of there using his ring. He's flirting with the thought of death.

He is also self sabotaging. He pulls back from everyone and turns himself into a homeless man who lives on the road because he's looking for a sense of self, a meaning to life he has lost. He becomes a seasonal worker because he needs something to do, but those jobs never last because the life he's trying to leave behind (in the shape of Guy Gardner) keeps metaphorically knocking on the door and dragging him back to Green Lantern.

Even when he comes back, he chooses to do solitary things. For example: exploring space to recruit more GLs, that keeps interactions to a minimum. It's all things that are brewing in a pressure cooker that blows up when Coast City is destroyed in front of Hal's eyes and the hero community drops the ball. Hard.

They all say well, it’s not MY city. They all say get over it. Clark goes and creates a monument using scraps of the very bomb that killed everyone and everything Hal knew all his life, and immediately after that Clark is in Metropolis enjoying the sun and saying aaaaah. what a nice day.

And Hal doesn't snap immediately. The tension is there, but at first he does try to keep it together until it becomes impossible. He tries to reconstruct Coast City, but there are limits to what the ring can do. The one thing he could depend on, his will power, is not enough. He is not enough. His grief and anger become so big that his mind just... fractures. He snaps. No one's listening and no one's helping, so he will take matters into his own hands and make. it. right.

This Hal is angry. This Hal has a heart with a hole that threatens to kill him at any moment but he endures because he cannot die until he does what needs to be done. This Hal refuses the help that comes too late, he has killed his friends, he has destroyed the corps, he has killed Sinestro. Kyle arrives like a lighthouse in the middle of the storm but for Hal it's too late because he has driven his ship into the cliff and is letting it sink with himself still in it.

He is mad at himself and mad at the world for failing Coast City and all the innocent lives lost. He almost becomes a god, and is perceived as a god by some due to the power he now possesses. There are moments when clarity hits him and the old wounded heartbroken Hal shows his face, and he is dying. His pain is so palpable. His anguish. The old Hal wants help. But Parallax Hal does not want to be saved.

Of course, the status quo changes with the events of Final Night. Hal sacrifices himself to save the Earth. He sees that only in death will his anger stop, and he sees that he's the only one who can do what no one else could do for Coast City. It's a no brainer. He sacrifices himself and burns himself to a crisp reigniting the sun. Hal doesn’t expect to come back. He doesn’t want to come back. This is HIS final night.

Unfortunately, The Spectre had other plans. His anger morphs into straight up depression because now he is alive enough to deal with the outcome of what he did as Parallax. He has to live with the tragedy of what he lost and the tragedy of what he did. Few people stand by his side and want to give him a chance. Very few people recognize there's good in him. Most want to see him dead and gone. He himself wants to be dead and gone. Helen, his niece, being there definitely helps him not lose it, not lose himself. She is his hope. She is the innocence he lost and he will never get back.

After all of this, he is more grounded, mature. Still melancholic. Still haunted by everything that happened. He is cocky, of course, and self assured, because at the end of the day those are the things he can cling to with some sort of safety net. But they're also things he uses to keep the raw wounds hidden.

Post Johns? Yeah like more than half of this is lost because Hal’s the greatest hero ever and he can do no wrong. He is headstrong, overconfident, cocky, and ultimately good, but he is missing like half of his soul.

[sk3erkrou]

My Thoughts on Hogwarts Legacy

This is something that has been on my mind recently as more discourse about the topic is coming to the forefrunt of the internet. Hogwarts Legacy and, honestly, the Harry Potter franchise as a whole.

As I see things, there are 5 groups of people when it comes to "THAT wizard game."

"Hey, I don't want to play it because of my own personal reasons. But if you want to play it, I hope you have fun."

"Hey, I do want to play this game because of my own, personal reasons, but I understand that you're not interested. That's cool."

"This game gives money to a transphobe?! Awesome! I just bought two copies."

"You want to play this game for your own reasons? You're a transphobe piece of shit. I won't stop until you know you're a piece of shit."

"Harry Potter? Hogwarts Legacy? I haven't played video games since I lost 2 weeks of my life to Banjo Kazooie in 1998."

If you fall into either category 1, 2, or 5, then right on. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up.

However, if you fall into either category 3 or 4, you are a fucking problem and you need to cut the shit and grow up.

Personally, I fall into category 1. I feel I have made my views on the game and franchise fairly clear. But also, I have a good friend who learned to read because of Harry Potter. I grew up with the franchise and it was a huge part of my childhood, and recognizing that I no longer want to engage in the franchise felt like a huge loss to me, and took some time to reconcile with myself. But, again, I have made that decision based on the larger franchise and not simply this one game. And, also again, these are my OWN PERSONAL REASONS. If you're interested, I will gladly share my thoughts in a civil manner, and only ask that you understand my thinking, not that you agree with me, or try to convince me to change my mind.

Now, to address category 3. Deep breath, here.

If you are doing anything at all because you know it will make the lives of people worse, then fuck you right to hell. Yes, this group of people also generally goes hand in hand with a specific red hat and an orange demagogue. If you find yourself in this category, get help. Go to therapy and ask about this concept called "empathy."

Category 4.

I will repeat: if you are doing anything at all because you know it will make the lives of people worse, then fuck you right to hell. Setting up websites to track Twitch streamers to see who is playing Hogwarts Legacy? Going to channels and harrassing the streamers for wanting to play the game? I would argue that people in this category or worse than those in category 3 because while those in 3 as assholes, they are blowing money on something they don't actually care about to try triggering someone while people in this group are going out and actively attacking people for engaging something that they want to experience for, and repeat after me, THEIR OWN PERSONAL REASONS. I saw in one chat that someone mentioned they wished executions were legal because people were doing something they didn't like. Sounds an awful lot like some people who built some gallows outside of a notable large building in the US back in the beginning of January 2021, doesn't it?

Here's where things really boil down on Hogwarts Legacy. The game is made. It's done. Rowling has been paid or will be getting paid. You attacking people for enjoying the game isn't going to stop that. But there's a lot more people than just her in the mix, here. Think about all the hundreds of people who have spent YEARS working on making this game, and trying to make it the best game possible. They have also been paid and are continuing to get paid. Controversy has surrounded Hogwarts Legacy pretty much since it was announced. And it wasn't cancelled.

Here's where I see things going with the game: it is the outrage of the day. Somewhat surprisingly, the outrage of Hogwarts Legacy's release is overshadowing the much more recent information about Justin Roiland. People will continue to be upset by this game for a while, and eventually that will fade, as all outrage does.

But you know what won't pass? The hurt caused by people to other people over this game. Your friend, who you disagree with about the game, sitting in their home, playing the game, is not going to hurt you. Streamer playing the game and you don't want to watch it? THEN FUCKING DON'T. Full stop. For fuck's sake, people were buying subs to a twitch stream just so they could continue harrassing the streamers after they made the chat sub-only. Fuck you. Grow up. And like I told the people in group 3, get therapy.

Actually, everyone should go to therapy, but that isn't the point of this.

Here's what my point of view boils down to: let people enjoy what they enjoy and stop shitting on things just because people enjoy them. Yes, the situation here is more complex and nuanced than that, but every situation is. And if any part of this rambling has made you angry or upset for any reason, I'd like you to think about why that is. I am not advocating for people to play the game or not play the game. Honestly, I just couldn't give a fuck what you want to play in the privacy of your own home. I just want people to be better. Treat people better. Be better people. Recognize that everyone on this planet is, at the very least, deserving of being treated like a person and deserving of love. And if you can't understand that fact, did you really understand Harry Potter at all?

[theemporium]

the ending is a wee bit rushed but it was getting long so here is a random wyatt blurb, enjoy!!🫶🏽

.

“This is a stupid fight, by the way.”

“I didn’t ask for your opinion.”

“I know, but I am giving it.”

Wyatt paused, lifting his head enough to see Tyler grinning at him, all big and boyish and shit-eating in a way that made the younger boy sigh a little. He was hoping the practice session would run by fast, that hockey would be a nice distraction. 

He was naive for thinking as much the second Tyler got wind of the (arguably stupidest) fight he had with you the previous night. 

“I am just trying to share my wisdom with the youths,” Tyler insisted, leaning against his stick with no care in the world about the drill they were supposed to be setting up for. “You know, be a good mentor and stuff.”

Wyatt frowned. “Pavs literally told me to never listen to a word you say off the ice.”

Tyler beamed. “But we are on the ice.”

“It’s none of your business,” Wyatt eventually huffed, telling himself his cheeks were burning because of the warm up and not because of the conversation. 

“Johnny, kiddo, it’s literally my job to be in other people’s business,” Tyler snorted, using his stick to knock the puck Wyatt was currently fiddling with until it was too far for him to reach anymore. “I’m serious. Are you really annoyed with her over a hypothetical?” 

Wyatt’s cheeks burned even more. “Not when you say it like. There’s more to it.”

Tyler raised his brows. “Just because she picked Roope?” 

Wyatt sighed heavily.

“Johnny,” Tyler said, sounding like a tired father—which, if Wyatt was being honest, was a little off-putting when it was coming from Tyler Seguin of all people. “It was just a funny scenario.” 

“But she chose him over me!” Wyatt huffed.

“The question was who she wanted to swap wardrobes with,” Tyler deadpanned.

“And she chose him!” He repeated. 

“You practically live together,” Tyler added, still blunt as before. “She already steals shit from your wardrobe. She walked in wearing your sweater the other day. Who cares how she answered a random hypothetical? You literally said you would swap jobs with Otter for a game. It isn’t serious.” 

“Yeah but,” Wyatt paused, his lips turned downwards. He knew Tyler was right (terrifying concept) and he knew he was blowing the whole thing way out of proportion. He wasn’t even upset when the whole thing happened. It was hours later, when his brain wouldn’t stop spinning and spiralling and making him second guess everything.

“She loves you, kid,” Tyler said eventually, like he could read Wyatt’s mind. “Just as much as you love her.”

“I—we—she—” Wyatt paused, clearing his throat a little. “We haven’t said that yet.” 

“Oh,” was all Tyler could reply with, at first. A few moments passed as his grin widened, nudging his shoulder against Wyatt’s. “So, that’s what this is about?” 

Wyatt’s shoulders dropped a little.

“And Roope’s wardrobe is related…how?”

“I–It’s not,” Wyatt eventually blurted out. “I don’t even care about that. It’s just—I don’t know! We should have said it by now, right? We’ve been dating for months and, fuck, I see her almost as much as I see you guys. And I’m always going to hers or she is coming to mine and just…”

“Hmm, I see,” Tyler nodded. 

Wyatt swallowed. “You do?”

“Yeah,” Tyler nodded, lightly tapping his stick against Wyatt’s shins. “You’re insecure.” 

“Woah—” Wyatt began but Tyler didn’t let him interrupt.

“Johnny, kid, a relationship isn’t about hitting certain milestones by certain points,” Tyler said and—not that Wyatt would admit it—he was making sense. And it was, once again, a terrifying concept. “There is no right or wrong time to say that you love each other.” He paused for a moment. “Well, I wouldn’t recommend dropping it into conversation after the first date but that’s not a problem here.” 

Wyatt let out a sigh, his attention shifting down at the ice as he lazily fiddled with the pucks by his feet. 

Tyler finally took pity on the boy, tapping his shins once again. “You love her?” 

“Of course,” Wyatt replied instantly.

Tyler nodded. “You want her to say it first?”

Wyatt hesitated a little. “Well…no. I mean, I don’t mind. I just kinda wish I knew she was gonna say it back, you know? What if she doesn’t—”

“Then it isn’t the end of the world,” Tyler assured him with a soft smile. “Even if she doesn’t say it back now—which I highly doubt, by the way, you two are sickeningly cute—that doesn’t mean she isn’t on her way to be in love with you. Might just take her a bit longer to get there. But that doesn’t have to stop you from telling her how you feel.”

“Oh,” Wyatt responded. 

“See? I can give good advice!” Tyler said, puffing his chest out and slapping Wyatt on the back, completely breaking the bubble of seeming like a responsible adult for a few moments. 

“You called me insecure,” Wyatt grumbled.

“And I was right. And then I told you how to fix the root of your insecurity,” Tyler shrugged. “You’re welcome.” 

And there wasn’t much Wyatt could say before the other boy skated off.

Wyatt told himself he wasn’t going to let it get to him any longer, that he was going to focus on the rest of practice and then he would consider everything Tyler had said to him. But truth be told, the boy’s head was racing with a million different thoughts for the rest of the sessions, his shots hitting off the poles and his passes not quite hitting the mark. 

It was a dreadful practice and everyone on the team could see it, but he assumed Tyler must have gotten Jamie to pull some rank because none of the boys mentioned it by the time they all shuffled into the locker room.

He sped through his routine, barely drying his hair with his towel before he was shoving his gear away and half-hazardly throwing on whatever clothes he could to get out of the rink as fast as he could.

If he was smart or even remotely prepared, he would have messaged you to let you know he was coming over.

Instead, he found himself outside your apartment door, pacing and chewing on his lower lip as the seconds passed like aeons as he waited for you to open the door. The door had barely swung open before he was blurting the words out.

“I love you!” 

You blinked, your lips parting in surprise.

“I love you and I don’t care about you choosing Roope’s wardrobe and I am so okay if you don’t want to say I love you back because I trust that one day you will feel the same because relationships aren’t about reaching milestones before certain time stamps,” Wyatt continued to ramble, the words just spilling before he could stop himself.

“Okay,” you murmured, your brows furrowing together as you tried to process everything he just said. 

“I’m sorry, that was a lot. I just—” He paused, taking a deep breath and letting his shoulders drop a little. “I was being dramatic last night and the fight was stupid and…I love you. That’s not just me saying that, I mean it. I love you and I don’t like having stupid fights with you and I don’t like when Tyler is right.”

You frowned. “What does Tyler have to do with this?”

“Nothing,” he waved off with a sheepish smile. “My point is that I love you and I’m sorry.”

“You should probably come in,” you murmured, returning his smile with your own as you opened the door further and stepped to the side. “And for what it’s worth, I love you too. But I feel like we have way more to talk about.” 

But it would be fine, Wyatt was sure of that. 

Because he loved you and you loved him back and, unfortunately, Tyler Seguin was right.

.

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN (oneshot)

Aventurine x ex girlfriend!reader

He would gamble his own life before ever risking your relationship but his dangerous job forced him to give you up, shattering both of your hearts in the process. Months later Sigonian notices you on one of the boujee parties he got invited to as an IPC representative. Motivated by yearning and alcohol in his veins Aventurine tries his luck in love again. ANGST,SUGGESTIVE

general masterlist

Aventurine was always a little bit fed up with those expensive parties thrown by his business partners, lavish ballroom filled with pathetic people living with no purpose besides endless consumption, each of them raised in conditions he could only dream of as a child, staring at him with curiosity. Hoping that he will make a mistake, prove them he is still a lowlife they take him for despite all those privileges he now enjoyed as a high ranking IPC member. But tonight he sincerely did not care about any of this, barely acknowledging the noise around him. 

He sipped on a drink more pricey than lifetime supply of food for his whole clan would be, giving out charming smiles that never reached his devoid of emotions, outstanding eyes to greedy leaches sitting alongside him at the poker table. Seemingly interested in shallow exchange of blows disguised as jokes and witty remarks young man looked around not expecting anything positive out of this meeting, maybe except meaningless material gains he forced himself to care about for the sake of keeping up his Aventurine persona.  

Then he noticed elegant woman standing alone near the entrance. Fingers adorned with precious rings clenched around the glass, almost shattering it in desperate attempt to conceal how much his hands started to shake at the sight of familiar face. He thought he imagined it at first, but his broken heart wasn't playing tricks on him. Aventurine would recognize your face even after centuries, every detail of it carved into his mind, into his soul. Long, green dress tightly hugged your figure, enhancing every curve he loved to caress so much. It was really you. Just as beautiful as the day he broke your heart, five months ago. The day he saw you for the last time. 

*** 

- Why are you doing this to me? To us? After all this time? - tears dripped down your cheeks, you were choking on your sobs. Aventurine wanted to hold you, make you feel like everything will be alright, but he knew what he needed to do to keep you safe. 

- Y/n, there is nothing to talk about, stop making this so hard. I never loved you in the first place, I just needed some distraction from my work. - he was always a great liar. You seemed to believe him and he thanked Aeons for it, despite how much it hurt him to see you in pain. It's the only way to make sure they won't touch you. - It was funny to play house with you for two years but that joke got old. You no longer entertain me.  

You looked into his eyes, begging for this to be a cruel prank, searching for any crumbs of love in his eyes, but they were cool and calculated. Speaking to him when he put on his poker face felt like talking to a wall. Despair slowly turned into hatred in you heart, it's fire kept you warm in spite of your ex boyfriend's cold attitude.  

- I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. I can't blame you for being a shameless liar, you told me that's who you are at the beginning. I should've trusted you when you showed me your true colors. I don't even want you to apologize, I played myself investing my love in you. Now get lost Vasha. - nickname once spoken tenderly now felt like a slap to Aventurine. How do you tell somebody in front of whom you bared your soul that they were only a toy to you?  

He spared you the rest of monologue he prepared and went outside with all his belongings packed in three suitcases. He glanced at the door of your shared place for the last time and whispered to himself. 

- In another universe I can be just your Kakavasha, kiss your face every morning after I wake up by your side and hold you every night, love you the way you deserve to be loved, make you proud of me. Protect you with my own strong arms and build our future with them. But Aventurine can't afford such luxury, not at your expense. Not if it can cost your life. 

***  

Just thinking about how he treated you made him want to punch himself in the face. He tried to reason with himself. Back then his position in Stonehearts was endangered after he risked his Cornerstone during the mission in Penacony.  If he lost all his power opponents he got during his work in IPC would go straight after you and he wouldn't be able to fight them off. Aventurine secured his rank and influences by now, as soon as he did that he got rid of enemies to make sure he will never feel this incapable of protecting those dear to him. Such as you. 

Aventurine knew he should not hope for rekindling of your love, not after all those terrible things he has said and done, but could you blame him? All his life nothing really belonged to him, nothing but your heart you so willingly gave to him. Even money he bargained with were only borrowed from IPC, just like his new name, dignity and life. Not to mention his whole new personality, attitude worn as a mask grew so deep into him it felt like a second face. Kakavasha was a different man, the kind that knew what was really important and what was not.  

One not impressed by money or political circus, instead wanting to protect and provide for those close to him, more down to earth and proud than Aventurine could ever be with all his wealth and victories. The one who stood in silence when the lights were gone, the one who observed emotionless when his fate was debated by the rest of the Stonehearts, the one who put his own body as a shield between his friends and dangers of battle.  

There was not much those two men caged together in one body had in common, with few exceptions. Both had iron will and ambition forged in hellfire they went through in this lifetime, both were aware that even with all the luck in the universe their destiny was inherently unjust and both knew they will love you till death returns Kakavasha's tired soul to his family and Gaiathra Triclops in afterlife.  

Alcohol circulated in his veins, clouding his mind and soothing his fears. He excused himself not caring about worried glances his coworkers sent him and rushed towards you on slightly wobbling legs, passing self-important gentlemen and overdressed ladies. Concentrated on getting to you as fast as possible he didn't plan on what to say so once your eyes crossed he just froze in place. At first your eyes widened in pure shock but right away hatred took over. Aventurine inhaled sharply when your brows furrowed and jaw clenched. He wasn't used to irritated glances from you, you were always so gentle with him. His mouth got dry. 

- Long time no see, dear. - your voice was more collected than you expected it to be. Sometimes you imagined meeting him again but even in your dreams you were never this calm and over him. So time truly does heal wounds. - I have no idea why do you think you can just approach me out of nowhere after what you did to me, but I won't let you waste any more of my time after you stole years of my life with your empty promises. So please, hurry up.  

- So cold, huh? - Aventurine awkwardly attempted to laugh his anxiety off. - I know I must come off as a complete jerk but please, listen to me. Back then... I... I don't know how to explain that. 

- Maybe for once just say the truth if you even know how to be sincere. - you scoffed. - Simply say it like it is.  

- I was one bad day away from losing my job and I needed to make sure you won't get hurt in the process.  

You raised one of your eyebrows.  

- So you can only love me when you are on the top of the world but as soon as problems emerge I am a burden to discard? - you rolled your eyes.  

- Don't say that... It's not like that. - he hid his left hand behind his back, toying with one of the poker chips he always carried around. - If they kicked me out all kinds of sick people who prayed for my downfall would go after me. None of them would miss the opportunity to hurt me even more by harming you.  

- If that's what you say... - you seemed unbothered.  

- What do you mean by that? - Avgin curved his lips in confusion. 

- How can I be sure you aren't lying? That wouldn't be the first time it seems. - you chuckled sadly.  

- Please don't use that against me, I had no choice... - before he had a chance to explain further you interrupted. 

- Why should I believe you? Not to mention at this point it wouldn't change anything. - you looked away. - Not after all this time. 

- How could I let you know it was a bluff if you cut me off completely? I couldn't find you anywhere, I tried for weeks. You moved out and blocked me. - Sigonian's voice broke when he choked on repressed emotions, wondering if you even listened to him, your expression not showing any sign of interest. 

- I don't care anymore. If you really wanted to you would find a way. - you shrugged. 

Before he could mention how he overused his political influence and still could not find a single trace of you black haired male approached you both with glass of wine. Aventurine sized him up, tall and well build man had a reserved and cool aura, Avgin could feel hidden power radiate from that guy, as if he had a beast under his skin. Something about the way dark-haired male looked at you made his stomach turn. 

- I brought the drink you wanted. Are you ok? Who's that man? - mysterious guy asked you, concerned by your uncomfortable body language. He had a deep, melodic voice but spoke in monotone way. 

- I should ask the same thing. - Aventurine did his best to sound intimidating. - You guys know each other? - he turned his gaze back to you. 

- Yes, it's my coworker, Dan Heng. We grew really close lately. - you smiled at that strange, tall man. Sigonian stopped himself from asking just how close the two of you were. - Thank you for a chance to catch up Aventurine, but you see, I'm very busy right now. I promised to introduce my... friend to a few people. 

You gave him venomous smile when Dan Heng put his arm around your waist protectively and pulled you away from your ex. Aventurine hated the way you let that guy touch you. Did you allow him even more in private? Did you let him do things Avgin used to do? Does that other man know how beautiful you look with messy hair and no make up, with flushed cheeks and tears of pleasure in your eyes? Do you sing for him the way you did for Aventurine every night? Does he wear your marks on his back? Gambler preferred not to know, but whether Dan Heng already took his place by your side or was yet working on it, he was sure of one thing.  

- It's not over yet. - Aventurine muttered, clenching his left fist till he heard a poker chip breaking in half. 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Love Game 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Your fiance suggests incorporating roleplay in the bedroom to keep the spark alive, but playing pretend turns out to be all too real.

Characters: Andy Barber, Lloyd Hansen

Note: another surprise double day.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

You wake up alone. The night of reverie fogs in your mind. Touching, biting, slapping, choking, fucking... The kinkiness of it all has you tingling again yet you’re raw and sore from the overstimulation. Beneath the afterglow is something else. Doubt. 

You agreed to it. You wanted it just as much as Andy. All you want is to keep him happy and this is what he likes. And you can’t say you didn’t enjoy the thrill of it. It was so unlike anything you’ve done before, especially with him. The whole scene was so out of character. It’s roleplay, it’s supposed to be, and yet it just feels off. 

Again, it’s your first time. It’s going to be new and weird and wild, right? Will there be a next time?  

You roll over, thighs grazing tenderly, and sit up. The cuffs are gone along with all other remnants aside from the tangled sheets and the shell of dried sweat over you. You feel grimy as you look down at your naked body, your lingerie crumpled up at the corner of the mattress. You barely remember when you passed out. It’s all just a blissed out blur. 

You stand and stagger. Oh. Your mouth forms an O as you daintily touch your pelvis. You can feel the stretch still as your walls twitch. He was so rough, so deep inside you. 

As you hobble into the bathroom, surprised by the gingerness in each step, you can’t help the flow of your thoughts. Is this what Andy will want from now on? Why? Were you not enough before? He’s always seemed content. At least with that part of your relationship.

The way he groans when you touch him, the way he begs and whines before he cums. It’s all so wonderful so why now? Why this? 

You heard all his explanations but you just don’t know what to believe. Your innate insecurity can’t help but latch onto the worst suggestions. He wants someone else. He wants someone better. Then why did he ask you to marry him if you’re not what he wants? 

Ugh. You lean on the counter and look your reflection in the face. You blow out through your lips and trail your hand up your stomach. There are bruises all along your torso and chest, your neck, even your thighs, maybe a few on your ass. You didn’t expect to like that sort of intensity so much. 

You push away and limp to the shower. How do you act like nothing’s changed? Like it’s all back to normal. A naughty grin curves your lips. That’s kind of hot. 

You step into the shower and take your time. You’re reluctant to wash away the filth only because you want to go back to the night before. You want to feel that electricity. You remember how peculiar it felt when he had his face between your legs and the way his hands moved so deftly. Why couldn’t he be like that before? 

All those expectations restrain Andy. He must need to pretend to be someone else to let out his inner needs. It helped you too. For the first time last night, you shut your brain off and just felt the moment. 

You bask in the steam but make yourself get out and face the day, letting the night fade behind you. You go through your usual routine, with all the creams and cosmetics Andy bought you. He was always certain to get you the best of the best.  

You never even stepped foot in Sephora before him, but when he took you, he was certain to ask the associate the most important questions. The woman told you about each product and showed you how to use them, doing you up before you left. It took you a while to get a hang of it but now you feel naked without it all. 

You put on a red camisole blouse and a white wrap skirt, along with a silver chain around your neck and your engagement ring in place. As you come downstairs, you can hear Andy’s voice. He’s on the phone as you enter the kitchen. He’s already dressed; a dark blue suit with a light blue shirt and matching tie.  

You round the island to face him and he gives you that look. The one that says I’m busy. You turn and cautiously work at starting the morning right. You flip the kettle on and take the lid off the french press to wait for the boil. You scoop the grounds into the glass and turn to Andy as he wraps up his call. 

He stares at you as he puts the phone screen down. His eyes flick up and down and his cheeks dimples. You smile and step up to the edge of the marble island. 

“Last night was so fun,” you cheep. 

His expression remains stony. Your cheeks loosen and you fix your face. Oh. 

“Last night was last night,” he says. 

“I... yeah, sorry, sir.” 

“Sir?” he challenges. 

“Honey,” you correct yourself. So, it is back to business as usual. You’re disappointed and a bit confused. 

“You slept in,” he checks his watch. 

“I’m sorry, I--” you pause and tilt your head, “it’s Saturday, where--” 

“Emergency,” he says, “not like I want to be spending my weekend working but...” he looks up at the ceiling then decisively traces the room with his oceanic irises, “well, I gotta pay for all this, don’t I?” 

You lower your eyes guiltily, “I can pick up some appointments, hon--” 

“We’ve talked about this.” 

“Erm, I know, but if we need money--” 

“When are you giving notice?” He asks abruptly. 

“They’re short right now, Andy, I can’t just--” 

“Look at me when you talk to me,” he girds, “you know I don’t like it when you act like a child.” 

Your eyes flick up and you pout, “I’m sorry, Andy. I just don’t want to let you down but I can’t let them down either.” 

“You do nails, not rocket science,” he snips. 

You do your best not to flinch. You should be so happy. Everyone at work tells you how jealous they are. You get to work whenever you want without having to worry about rent or expenses. Andy will help you out. He insists on it and when you said yes to the ring, that meant saying yes to his expectations. 

“I’m not putting the wedding off,” he insists, “so you need to make up your mind soon. Sweetie, I don’t have the same time as you.” 

“I’m sorry,” you gulp. 

The kettle clicks as he stares at you. You wait for him to say it’s okay but he doesn’t. You turn and pour the water and place the lid on the press. You meekly glance over your shoulder and face him as you wait for the coffee to steep. 

“You know what I expect. I don’t think it’s a hard ask at all. You take care of the house, I take care of you,” he taps his fingers on his phone case, “simple.” 

The last word is sharp. It says a lot; it’s simple enough for you to understand. You can’t be mad at him. You did promise and you haven’t followed through. 

“I’ll talk to Gina.” 

“Good,” he looks at his watch again, “you can put my coffee in a travel mug. I gotta get my stuff together.” 

“Right, yes, sir—honey,” you correct yourself, “I love you.” 

He stands and his chest rises. He slowly lets out his breath, “love you too.” 

He leaves you with the dulcet, almost flat proclamation. What happened? Was last night bad for him? Did you do something wrong? Maybe you liked it too much? Maybe you didn’t play the role well enough? 

Oh, you don’t know. You love Andy so much and you only want to do what’s right but sometimes it seems like there is no right with him. You look at the clock, a few more minutes and you can pour the coffee. It has to be just perfect, like everything else. Not too weak or strong. Exactly as he prefers. 

💕 

You wile away the time on your own. It used to be that you longed for time off, to catch up on your favourite shows, to do your hobbies, but now, you have too much of it. You watched everything, you’re bored of crocheting and diamond art, and your focus is split into pieces. You’re restless and lost in the large empty house. 

It makes you even more nervous about the future. You thought have a ring, having Andy, having a place to live, would make all a bit more stable. Nope. Now you’re terrified that every day is going to be as lonely and tedious. 

You make yourself sit down with a bridal magazine. There is stuff to be done. You just like to procrastinate. It’s a habit you’ve yet to break since your college days. Those get further and further behind you yet you don’t feel any wiser. 

Another point of envy you don’t quite understand. Marciana at the salon loves talking about the wedding, she has so many questions, and yet you don’t have the answers. She tells you all the time how she can’t wait to get married and do it all. You find it all a bit too much. 

It’s not just flowers and a dress and the ring; it’s catering and music and guests and cutlery and too much! You asked Andy what he liked for wedding colours and he told you he didn’t care. He says it’s a woman’s thing to plan the wedding. 

Gina said her mom helped her with her wedding. Well, you wish you had a mom to ask. The girls at work gave you some suggestions and tried to help but work always comes first. They’re your coworkers, not your friends after all. 

You still haven’t even booked the dress appointment. You don’t have anyone to go with and you feel ridiculous going alone. Andy can’t come, even after you said you don’t care if he sees you. He says it’s tradition. 

So you’re back to square one. You have an aunt who sends you a text now and again but not much else. The more you think of everything you don’t have and never had, the more you wonder how you ended up with Andy. He’s too good for you and you’re not the only one to think so. 

You close the magazine and mope at the pretty model on the front in her veil. You’re not going to look like that. She’s smiling and happy and you’re just stressed. Maybe you could just go to the courthouse. That way you won’t have to stand in front of the empty pews on your side. 

Before you can sink further into doom, the bell rings and you jolt up. Huh? You can’t remember the last time someone stopped by. In the early days, one of the neighbours stopped by to introduce herself and you noticed the other women across the street, watching from a porch. She never came back. You realised after they were trying to find fodder for their gossip. 

You get up, worried it’s another nosy neighbour. The bell rings again at your reluctant pace and you speed up. You peek out the window beside the door and see a man bouncing on the balls of his feet. Maybe it’s a delivery. 

You flip the lock and push down on the lever, inching the door open enough to see through. You give an uneasy smile. The man stills and shoves his hands in his pockets. He looks you up and down and you blink at the striking resemblance. His hair is different, shaved around the sides, longer on top, he wears a mustache instead of a beard, and he sports a short sleeved turtle-neck and cream-coloured pants. Despite all that, he reminds you of Andy. 

“Uh, hello?” You stammer. 

“Hey, darling,” he winks and pulls a hand free, putting it on the doorframe as he leans in, one foot hooked on the other, toe digging into the mat. “Is Andrew around?” 

“Andrew? No,” you answer tentatively. 

“Oh man, I don’t got the wrong place, do I?” He pushes himself straight and reaches into his back pocket. He pulls out his phone and squints, tapping on the screen. 

“No, uh, no Andy’s not home,” you clear your throat, keeping your hand tight on the inner handle. 

“Andy, right. He hates Andrew,” he scoffs, “I was thinking you might be too young so I wasn’t sure,” he snickers and shakes his head, “well, I got a delivery for the old man. Well, he put a name on it...” 

He swipes on his phone and reads out your name. It can’t be a mistake. You feel a little less stressed now. 

“Sure, that’s me,” you confirm. 

“Great, wait one minute,” he holds up a finger. 

You have no other choice but to do just that. He turns and bounces down the steps, jogging back up the walk of the perfectly trimmed lawn and vibrant garden planted inside the white picket. The man goes to a black cube van and opens the back doors. He shuts the door as he hugs a basket in his other arm. 

You watch him dumbly as he returns to you and holds out the basket. You take it, surprised at the gesture. Andy can be sweet but this morning was rough. He seemed to be in a hall of a mood. Even after what you did the last night.  

Maybe that was it? Maybe he freaked himself out. He had gotten pretty carried away. Well, this is as good an apology as you’ve ever got. 

“Old man loves you,” the man purrs with a crooked smirk. His timbre strikes you as familiar, gravelly and gritty, as if you’ve heard it before. It’s almost as if you can feel his breath against your throat. 

You look over the basket at him and smile, “uh, yeah, thanks, er...” 

“Lloyd,” he answers, “I’m an old friend. I owed him a favour.” 

“Well, it’s very sweet of you to bring this by,” you say. 

“Ah, you know, I just do what I’m told,” he drawls. His gaze is close to a leer and makes you want to shiver. 

“Yeah, well, um, thanks again, but I...” you glance over your shoulder. 

“You got a wedding to plan, Mrs. Barber,” he spouts, “you must be a busy lady. Lucky at that.” 

You face him again and wince, “yep...” 

“You make sure you have some of that wine, sweetheart,” he points to the ribbon around the bottle’s neck, “you earned it.” 

“Uh, oh, okay,” you shake your head, “that’s... kind.” 

“And say hello to the old man for me. Remember, Lloyd,” he winks as he backs up, “have a good night, baby girl.” 

He leaves and you stand with the basket, heavy in your arms as the rest of you sinks down too. You have a strange feeling about the unexpected delivery and that man especially. You feel as if you’ve met before. Maybe it’s that he reminds you of Andy. 

Well, no use in overthinking that as well. You won’t complain for a surprise, especially one as nice as this. 

[cobragardens]

Holy Kittens, Y'all: My Favorite Good Omens Moment Has Gotten EVEN MORE ROMANTIC

Okay so I wrote this post about my favorite moment in Good Omens, and the stuff people are pointing out in the reblogs and comments is blowing my freaking mind, and I HAVE to show you how beautifully this all fits together, like I am flailing at my desk about this.

@vidavalor points out this gif from @soft-ange-aziraphale [Source]:

Here it is in sequence (gifs 1-4 from Fuck Yeah Good Omens):

I can't stop laughing over Aziraphale's smile, which shows, as @quoththemaiden says, that he's "utterly delighted with himself" and knows perfectly well that he's minxing Crowley; and this tiny extension of the moment convinces me even more that Crowley is desperately fighting a smile himself here.

Actually there's a lot in @quoththemaiden's comment that's insightful and well-put:

Totes agree with all of this.

And then. AND THEN!

I knew Crowley was trying to communicate something with this Shakespeare line, but I didn't know what until @paperbunny and @musingsofmaisie put it out there: Crowley is complimenting Aziraphale here, telling him he's enjoying being in Aziraphale's company, telling him his humor worked.

Remember how I keep banging on about how much equivocation Crowley does? This is more equivocation. In 1601, Richard Burbage was 34 years old, so age hasn't had the chance to wither his infinite variety yet. The stupidity of demons and the ignorance of angels regarding the human aging process prevent surveillance from noticing the poor applicability of this line to Burbage, but since the first half of the line fits Aziraphale (who does not age at all) more than Burbage (who is merely not yet old) it stands a chance of indicating to Aziraphale that Crowley is speaking about him. And the underlying true meaning of this equivocal statement would be A DIRECT RESPONSE TO MY FAVORITE MOMENT: Even though I have known you so long, you still surprise and delight me.

(Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line also accomplishes something else important: it gets William Shakespeare to go away so they can speak privately, because Shakespeare doesn't want them to see him writing it down.)

A Dip Into Speculation

I don't think the evidence for it is binding enough to say for sure, because the evidence is really just that it fits together so nicely and lines up so well with A&C's coded romantic messages in 1793; the (pretty overt, actually, I mean damn) romance in 1827; the size and nature of the fight in 1867; the yeah, really overt romance in 1941; and in 1967; and yes okay now that I'm thinking about it the whole series, but I have this View about how the rest of the 1601 scene goes.

And in fact there is Word of Gods that could be interpreted as evidence against this little pet headcanon I have, though it doesn't necessarily have to be:

Here's my assertion: Aziraphale volunteers to go to Edinburgh for Crowley. Crowley cheats the coin toss to accept Aziraphale's offer and to keep up appearances as a demon. Rather than making a deal with (or asking a favor of) an angel, he's 'cheating' him (without the angel's knowledge, but with his consent), which "moves the dials" of evil a bit and would also make Aziraphale appear less at fault if this instance of the Arrangement is ever discovered by Heaven.

This can coexist with Gaiman's statement, above, that it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale that Crowley cheats the toss. THEE ongoing leitmotif of Aziraphale's view of Crowley is that he thinks of Crowley as much more genuinely evil and much less in need of ways to create cover as evil than Crowley actually is.

(Which is interesting, given that he also clearly thinks that Crowley is not as evil as he pretends to be, that he is and wants to do good, and that he deserves to be an angel again. [There is a whoooole nother essay slowly curdling in the churn in my head about how Aziraphale is obliged to practice doublethink and how that stunts his personal development because that's what happens when people aren't free.])

Here's what I mean when I say Aziraphale volunteers.

Does Aziraphale ask in this tone because he is actually feeling suspicious and curt, or because he has to sound suspicious and curt? He could be perfectly willing to do Crowley a favor and would still need to sound the way he does. It's difficult for me to believe this guy--

--or this guy--

--are really all that bothered by the idea that Crowley might want something from him.

Crowley's response sounds like a(n unconvincing) protest of innocence. Maybe it is. But he doesn't disagree with the premise on which Aziraphale based his question, which means Aziraphale now has confirmation: Crowley called the meeting because he wants to ask Aziraphale to do him a favor.

Close your eyes and listen to Sheen's delivery of this line. The way he says it is so soft it's got no judgy angelic sting to it at all. Is this really a prissy answer to Crowley's semi-rhetorical question? Or is Aziraphale using the cover of a prissy answer to ask Crowley, Is what you want related to the no-good you're up to, i.e., demon work?

Either way, Crowley answers:

Is Crowley making a demonic jibe at Aziraphale in return to "You're up to no good," or is he telling Aziraphale, Yes, what I want from you is related to my work, and to your work, esp. what you've got on right now?

Aziraphale volunteers some information about his schedule and what it is he's got on right now.

--he says, and the velvety way Crowley says "Ohhh," tells us--and could tell Aziraphale--that Crowley already knows this. In this coded communication I'm suggesting, Crowley's tone on "Oh" confirms to Aziraphale that the thing he wants help with does indeed have to do with Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh.

So Aziraphale gives Crowley his travel details: Yeah, I have a couple of blessings and a minor miracle to perform. It's going to suck; I have to ride a horse.

Crowley's like, yeah, riding horses does suck. You have my sympathies. (Phrasing it as an insult to God: "Major design flaw if you ask me.") And then he says, I have to go to Edinburgh too this week. Tempt a clan leader into stealing some cattle.

And here's where I think Aziraphale volunteers to do Crowley's Edinburgh job for him:

If, as I propose, Aziraphale understands already at this point that Crowley is asking him to take Crowley's Edinburgh temptation, then this response tells Crowley he's willing to do so.

And then they have a little bit of kayfabe theater and a little bit of miscommunication between themselves. Crowley suggests Aziraphale take Crowley's Edinburgh job. Aziraphale protests "You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you're implying," even though, as Crowley immediately points, out, they've now done this dozens of times.

Now, obviously Aziraphale is pretending innocence here with "You cannot actually be suggesting," etc. But he's not pretending innocence to Crowley. He can't be: Crowley knows about the dozens of other times just like Aziraphale does. So the protest of innocence is for surveillance; it's the spirit, not the letter, of the protest itself that's genuine: I am reluctant about this.

And Crowley misses it.

He reads the surface layer of the equivocation, the Heavenly pearl-clutching; and the surface layer is where he argues. "We've done it before," he points out. "Dozens of times now. The Arrangement--"

But Aziraphale, visibly frightened and looking around, cuts him off. "Don't say that." Getting caught in an Arrangement would be much, much worse than getting caught in a one-off deal.

Why is this suddenly a problem? says Crowley. You know we've been getting away with this; you know they don't check up.

It's not pearl-clutching at all; Aziraphale is worried for Crowley's safety.

When Crowley says--

--is his tone half wheedling and half impatient because that's how he feels, or because it must sound like that? Is it soft only out of courtesy to the other people in the Globe?

There's no difference to the outcome of this scene or the story as a whole whether this romantic interpretation of the Edinburgh bickering is correct, because we've already got a solid base of evidence that the characters have romantic feelings for each other and show each other affection and care in this scene. In my opinion this interpretation fits the tone of the rest of the Globe scene better than only the face-value interpretation. What Gaiman and Mackinnon say about Crowley cheating the coin toss and Aziraphale not being aware of it can still easily apply.

While these three statements together aren't enough evidence to convict, so to speak, if my initial argument about the interpretation of "Buck up!" and Crowley's reaction is correct--and the cool stuff other people have found and pointed out suggests it is AND explains Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line--this reading of the Edinburgh bickering is, if not ironclad, at least valid.

And holy shit, people, that makes this scene romantic af from beginning to end. I could not have asked for a better little gift from my fellow humans. 🤯I have such a better understanding of the entire 1601 scene because people from anywhere with an Internet connection sat down and spent their time sharing their ideas, and it just makes the lit-nerd lobe of my brain so happy. I love you all, you romantics and nerds and perverts.

[therealcocoshady]

If you’re taking requests, could you do one with Marshall and a plus size reader? Maybe how she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him and he makes sure she knows that she’s everything to him?

All of you ❤️

Author’s Note : THANK YOU for requesting this ❤️. As a plus size gal myself, it’s not always easy to identify with a Y/N reader 👀. So I really enjoyed writing this and I identified with the struggle ! I had fun writing this and I hope you will enjoy it. Just so you know, I write for everyone and y’all are free to imagine Reader as a plus size person ❤️

You were in your bed, mindlessly watching Marshall get ready for his day. You had a full two hours before you had to prepare for work and you had no plans of getting up before you absolutely had to. Not when the view was so tempting… On mornings when you woke up together, you enjoyed watching him get ready. He always woke up early, sticking religiously to his routine : shower, get dressed, go back to his place, gym, breakfast, and then work. You usually weren’t too talkative in the morning, enjoying cuddling and simply looking at him instead of speaking actual words. The two of you had such a chemistry that conversation wasn’t really needed most of the time. Marshall had grown accustomed to your silence and, usually, he didn’t speak much either. That morning, however, he took you by surprise.

- By the way, I wanted to ask you something, before I go, he said as was putting his clothes on.

- Mmmh ? You asked, still staring at his ass which was perfectly showcased by his boxers.

- Are you free next weekend ? I have this charity thing, I need a date, he said with a smile.

- What ? You asked confused.

- Quit staring at my ass and start listening, doll, he said playfully.

- No, no, I heard you, you said. You’re not going with Paul ? He usually goes to things with you.

- He’s going to be there, he hummed. But I get to bring a +1.

- And you want me ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Well, what date could be better than the person I’m dating ? He chuckled. Plus, you could meet people, for your foundation.

- Wait… what ? You asked again.

- You should really get an appointment with an ear doctor, he pointed out. I said-

- We’re… dating ? You asked.

He was going to say something but instead, he stared at you with his mouth slightly open and a confused expression on his face. That was new. In the three months you’d been seeing each other, you had never left him speechless, except during sex. You had connected via work. You were a successful entrepreneur who had decided to give back to your community by helping the young women of Detroit through your foundation and had met him at a Charity event sponsored by his very own Marshall Mathers Foundation. You had immediately clicked and had spent the evening glued to each other, talking all this charity and your shared love of Detroit. You had been inseparable ever since and, to be fair, you hadn’t spent a lot of nights apart since you met, but you didn’t really consider that dating. Not that you’d be against it, of course. Marshall was definitely a catch and anyone would be lucky to be his girlfriend, but the notion that he would be willing to date you seemed ridiculous in your eyes. There was attraction and chemistry - that was painfully obvious - but you knew that men like him wouldn’t date women like you. You had been used to this your whole life : men would flirt with you, be willing to fuck you, see you in private, but wouldn’t consider dating you. Perks of being a curvy woman : men fantasizing about your body while being too ashamed to date you publicly. It had once been painful but you were used to it by now. You assumed Marshall was no different. He could have absolutely anyone, why would he want to date you ? You saw it as just a nice friendship and some mind-blowing sex behind closed doors but you didn’t want to get too attached and risk getting hurt. You’d been there, done that, and you were not a teenage fool anymore.

- We’re not ? He finally asked with a raised eyebrow and a sour expression.

- We never talked about it, you said.

- I didn’t think we needed to, he said as he scratched the back of his head. We sleep together nearly every night, I have toiletries in your bathroom and I know your Starbucks order by heart. What do you call that ?

- Casual sex, convenient hygiene and nice morning coffee ?

- Well that’s good to know, he scoffed as he put on his jeans.

Now he seemed pissed. He continued to get dressed in silence, searching for his clothes with his eyebrows furrowed.

- I’m sorry, you said as you got out of bed and walked to him.

- Don’t be, he said dryly. If anything, I’m sorry I assumed there was anything between us.

- No, there is, you said. I just didn’t think… I don’t know…

- What ? He sighed.

- I thought all you wanted was a good time, you shrugged. You know… as in, casually.

- I do recall specifically telling you I like you, he pointed out. And you saying it back.

- It wasn’t, like… in a friendly way ? You asked.

- For fuck’s sake, Y/N, we were both naked in your bed, he scoffed. Or should I be worried you do that with all your friends ?

- I don’t, you said as you blushed. But, you know, it’s not like we ever went on an actual date. I don’t know… I think I misread the situation. I’m sorry.

- Right, he said as he cleared his throat.

You looked at each other in an awkward silence. He put on his tee-shirt and stood close to you. His expression had turned to something hard to read and you were not sure what was on his mind.

- So… what do you think ? He asked.

- About what ? You asked carefully.

- Jesus Christ, you’re not helping me here, he sighed. About this dating thing. Is that something you’d like ? Dating me ?

- Oh, you said with a hint of surprise. Ye-yes. Of course.

- Good, he said with a hint of a smile. That saves me some embarrassment.

- What embarrassment ? You asked with a small smile.

- I might have been referring to you as my girlfriend for a while, he said almost timidly.

You opened your eyes a little wider and almost gasped. Knowing the hottest man you’d ever been with had been referring to you as his girlfriend to other people was definitely surprising to you, who had been kept a secret by so many men in the past. You tried to keep your composure, though your heart sure skipped a beat at the thought that Marshall Mathers was your boyfriend. It felt like learning you’d won the lottery three months ago but had no idea up until now.

- Would have been a shame if you’d had to go back on that statement, you said with a small smile.

- indeed, he chuckled. Imagine their faces if I told them I’d thought wrong all along. They’d make fun of me for the rest of my life and even after.

You both burst out laughing. He smiled and pulled you to him before kissing you lovingly, smiling into the kiss. You leaned into the embrace as he placed his hands on your waist, digging his fingers in your skin through the fabric of your silk nightgown.

- You’re so beautiful in the morning, he whispered. Such a vision. I don’t see that often enough.

- Because I usually stay in bed, you said as you blushed. You always wake up so early…

- Now I’m going to start to force you to get up as early as I do, he said. Because depriving me of this view is criminal. Who looks so stunning in a nightgown, seriously ? That’s ridiculous.

You felt your face turning bright red. He was always so good at telling you how attractive he thought you were and it never failed to make you blush. He kissed you again, more passionately this time.

- I have to go, he whispered. My personal trainer’s waiting for me…

- I could be your personal trainer, you said seductively. I have a little workout in mind…

- You temptress, he groaned. That’s not fair.

You giggled and grabbed his hand in an attempt to lure him back to bed. Now that you were fully awake and energized, there was no reason for you to miss an opportunity to have Marshall pleasure you.

- I really can’t, he said with a frown. See you tonight ?

- Sure, you said with a small pout.

- I’ll make it up to you, he promised.

- You better, you said with a smile.

He kissed you and went on his way, after throwing you a longing glance. You went back to bed and reached for your Satisfyer which, though it was effective, didn’t compare to Marshall.

You had a long and boring day at your office, filled with meetings with shareholders and paperwork. Your company was growing and, though you enjoyed the success and profit, it was a lot of work you didn’t enjoy. You had always thought of yourself as a creative and you weren’t the type to enjoy meetings. You took a small break, taking a much needed respite in your office when your assistant came to find you, bringing a huge bouquet of red roses.

- Nice way of asking for a raise, Natalie, you giggled.

- They’re not from me, boss, she said with a smirk.

She handed the bouquet to you and you grabbed the card that read « Be ready at eight. I’m taking you on an actual date. - Your boyfriend ❤️ ». It brought the biggest smile to your face and you forgot your assistant’s presence for a second.

- Investor trying to woo you ? She asked.

- My boyfriend, you hummed with a smile.

- I… didn’t know you had a boyfriend, she said with a smile. That’s new.

- I’m as surprised as you are, you said with an enigmatic voice.

You felt like a schoolgirl who had a boyfriend for the first time, butterflies in your stomach. Somehow, this renewed your motivation and you went on with your day. You went home and prepared for your date. At 8:00 sharp, you heard a knock on the door and you were greeted by your smiling boyfriend. He took you to dinner in a nice restaurant, and you got to enjoy a nice meal in a private room. It was technically your first date but it was all effortless. You were talking, fingers intertwined.

- Oh by the way, I have something for you, he said as he reached in his pocket.

- What is it ? You asked.

- The invite for the event I told you about this morning, he replied with a smile. There’s a dress code and stuff. I thought you might want to have the information.

- Thanks, you said as you grabbed the paper.

From the looks of it, it was set to be quite the event. Very exclusive, gathering philanthropists… and extremely classy as well. It was black tie, with mandatory tuxedos for men and floor-length gown for women, with a theme as well. According to the invite, there was to be a cultural performance as well as a silent auction, benefitting a Detroit arts institute.

- That’s… something, you said.

- I know you’re just starting out with your foundation, but I think you might meet a lot of like-minded people, he said. In a few months since starting it, you’ve done a great job and I’m sure people would like to contribute. You might also gain publicity.

- There’s going to be press ? You asked nervously.

- Just for the red carpet, he shrugged. But it’s only a couple of photographers, there’s not going to be tons of people either. It’s rather quiet, actually. Focusing on the good deeds instead of the publicity. That’s what’s nice about it. Otherwise, I would just write a check, send Paul and skip the whole thing.

- Ok, you said quietly. Good to know.

- Is there something wrong ? He asked.

- No, no, you said.

- Liar, he said with a grin. What’s wrong, beautiful ?

- Don’t you think it would be more… practical for you to take your assistant ? You asked.

- I could take her, he admitted. But I’d rather take you.

- Ok, you said with a shy smile.

- I know you’re the quiet type, he said as he stroked your hand. It’s just opera, dinner, a silent auction, and it’s for a good cause. Don’t sweat it.

- I… I don’t have a dress, though, you said. To fit the theme.

- Looks like you’re gonna have to shop, he chuckled. And I know it’s not a problem for you. I mean… I’ve seen your closet.

You smiled and agreed to look into it. You put the invite in your bag and went back to enjoying Marshall’s company. After dinner, you went back to your place. You joked about making him wait until the fifth date to « seal the deal » but he reminded you that the it had, indeed, been sealed on the very first night you met. And if the reminder wasn’t enough, his lips against yours and the promise to make you see stars convinced you to let him take you to bed.

In the following days, you were in a state of bliss. In actuality, much didn’t change. You still got to wake up next to Marshall, still shared your nights with him and exchanged sweet texts during the day, as it had been the case ever since you had first met, but it felt different. If you were being honest, you still had trouble believing that this man wanted to date you. You felt like the luckiest woman on earth. However, your good mood was soon ruined by your search of the perfect dress to wear to the event. Not only was it sort of short notice but you also had to face another obstacle : it was a glamorous event and a lot of high fashion brands didn’t cater to « your size ». Money wasn’t a problem but it wasn’t even the issue here : there was no way you could find something to wear, that would quit the theme, be elegant enough and be flattering. Even Natalie, your assistant who was usually able to make magic happen, didn’t manage to find a solution to your problem. You could already see the disaster happen : you’d be the worst dressed person there, and everyone would see how terrible of a match you were for Marshall, who everyone deemed as the most eligible bachelor in Detroit. You knew it was probably stupid to have a meltdown over an outfit but you were brought back to your younger days, when everyone would make fun of your weight and you were told that no one would ever date you. There you were now, a successful entrepreneur, feeling worthless in spite of your many accomplishments. As usual, Marshall joined you in the evening but you failed to put on a happy face and he seemed to pick on it right away.

- What’s up ? He asked.

- Nothing, you mumbled evasively.

- I think I found your one and only flaw, he chuckled. You’re a terrible liar. Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.

- I doubt you can, you sighed. I just… it’s stupid.

- Is that about the new investors you told me about ? He asked.

- No, you said. It’s about… whatever.

It was so silly, so childish that you were ashamed of telling him that you were feeling self-conscious. You were used to putting on your best foot forward and, most of the time, you felt empowered as a plus size woman. But even the strongest women have their moments of weakness and you were no exception. You looked down, hoping he would drop the subject. Bit much to your dismay, he did not.

- Tell me, he said as he cupped your cheek.

- It’s about the charity thing, you admitted with a sigh.

- What about it ? He asked.

- I can’t find a dress, you explained. I’ve been searching high and low and I can’t find anything. It’ll be a total embarrassment, I can already see it.

- That’s it ? He asked with a smile. You’re just worried about a dress ?

- Whatever, you groaned. I don’t expect you to get it. I just… look, just take someone else. It’ll be better for everyone.

- You’re going to pass on an opportunity to meet people for your foundation and do good because you can’t find a dress you like ? He asked with a frown. That’s… unlike you.

- I’m going to pass on an opportunity to embarrass us both, you snapped. You don’t want to take me. I’d feel like a charity case anyway.

He took your hand and you both sat on the sofa. You were avoiding his gaze. You couldn’t stand to feel his eyes on you. All you wanted was to disappear.

- why is that ? He asked

- Come on, you scoffed. We don’t need to address the elephant in the room.

- What elephant ? He asked again with a confused expression.

- Me ! You almost cried. I-I’m the elephant. Both literally and figuratively. Have you seen me ?

- I have, he said calmly.

- So you see what I’m getting at, don’t you ? You asked with tears in your eyes. Do you really want to take this to that event ?

You gestured at your body. The very one you tried to love but often ended up despising. The one you had been living it for years, that was both your friend and your worst enemy. Tears started streaming down your cheeks and you cried in frustration. Of course you’d never be good enough for him. You were not enough and too much at the same time. Not enough because he was himself, the successful Detroit prodigy, most attractive man on earth in the eyes of many. Too much because there was literally too much of you and your body.

- Of course I want to take you, he said as he squeezed your hand. Why wouldn’t I ?

- Because… you’re you and I’m me ! And people are going to look at us and laugh.

- Why would they laugh ? He asked. Your name is on everyone’s lips in town these days. Everyone constantly talks about your successful company, your amazing charity. There’s nothing to laugh at.

- And no matter how successful I am, I’m always going to be the fat girl, you said. And you’re always going to be Eminem. I have seen the woman you’ve been linked to over the years. They’re gorgeous.

- So are you, he scoffed.

- Come on, you sighed.

- I mean it, Y/N, he said. You are beautiful. I’m proud you agreed to be my date to this thing.

- Really ? You asked.

- Are you kidding me ? Of course I am ! You’re incredible. You’re smart, you’re successful, you’re funny as hell, and you are absolutely stunning.

- No I’m not, you scoffed.

Him calling you stunning seemed absolutely ridiculous and out of place. For God’s sake, he had dated Mariah Carey, as well as countless actresses and models. You couldn’t compete with any of them. He looked at you with an annoyed look and got up before taking your hand and leading you to your bedroom. You both stood in front of the mirror.

- Here, he said softly. Look. What do you see ?

- Marshall, you sighed. I-

- Just answer, he encouraged you. What do you see ?

- You, you replied. You and me.

- I like that sight, he said with a smile. I think we look good together.

- Because you look good, you pointed out.

- Alright, he chuckled as he stepped aside. What do you see now ?

- Me, you groaned.

- And what’s wrong with you ? He asked.

- Everything, you sighed. I’m fat. I’m huge. There’s too much of me. And yet… I’m not enough. Do you want to know why I was surprised the other day ? When you said we were dating ? Because the idea that someone like you might want to date someone who looks like me is ridiculous !

- I like beautiful women, he shrugged. You’re beautiful. You think there’s too much of you ? I can’t get enough. I’ve spend the last three months trying and I just can’t. If anything, I wish there was more.

- You know what I mean, you sighed.

He shook his head and placed himself behind you, hugging you as your back was against his chest. He was looking at you lovingly, adoringly. He took your hand in his and, with the others, he traced your features.

- I love your hair, he whispered in your ear. And your face. You have such a beautiful face-

- The face isn’t the pr-

- Shut up, woman, he said as he pressed a finger to your lips. I’m not done. Your face is amazing. Your eyes, your lips… even your cheeks are adorable. And then, there’s your neck, your shoulders, your breasts… have I told you how much I love them yet ? So beautiful, so generous…

He ran his fingers on your face, your neck and gently cupped your amble bosom, teasing your nipples through your top and bra. Your boobs were so big that his hands could barely contain them but he didn’t seem to mind it one bit. His touch was making you shiver, as well as his soft voice in your ear.

- how can you seriously think there too much of this ? He teased.

- How about the rest ? You mumbled. Definitely too much…

- The rest ? You mean your stomach ? Your hips ? He asked with a smile. I’m fucking obsessed. Your skin is so soft. I fucking love touching you there.

You hummed, biting your lip and shaking your head disapprovingly. He scoffed and made you remove your top, leaving you in your jeans and bra. He gently ran his hands on your stomach, stroking the soft skin that was there, tracing the outline of your waist, digging his fingers in your hips.

- I could do this all day, he whispered. Just touching you, your skin, your curves.

Your gaze met his in the mirror and you were almost bothered by the sheer honesty. You could tell he meant it, every word. His eyes were shining with admiration, adoration even. His hands traveled to your butt, giving it a playful squeeze.

- I could lie and say the jeans make your butt look great but I’ve seen you naked, I know it looks even better without, he whispered.

He buried his face in your neck and unbuttoned your jeans before making them slide of legs. You were left in your underwear and all you could see was the cellulite and stretch marks, the excess of skin. He kept on stroking your skin, whispering sweet words in your ear, saying how he loved your curves, your plushy thighs.

- I wish you would see what I see, he said softly. Then you’d understand how proud I am to be dating you.

- I hate myself, you whispered.

- I guess I can love you for the both of us, he whispered.

You blushed and turned to face him and, before you could say anything, he captured your lips in a passionate, hungry kiss. He bit your lip, causing you to grunt before grabbing your hand and leading you to the en suite bathroom next to your bedroom. You faced another mirror and, before you knew it, he was kneeling in front of you, kissing every inch of your skin, your stomach, your thighs, your hips. You were putty in his hands and opposed no resistance when he made you remove your lingerie, leaving you naked, before going down on you. You were standing up and he was kneeling between your legs, getting to work, worshipping you. He was holding you firmly while his tongue explored your folds, his hands digging in your skin. You were trying to keep your balance, one leg on his shoulder while he was eating you out, like a man who hasn’t had a meal in days and you couldn’t contain your moans. His tongue was soft against your clit while his fingers were teasing your entrance. You held his head against you, begging him to keep going, which didn’t fail to amuse him. He let out a throaty laugh that sent vibrations against your pussy. He inserted two fingers, finding the right angle right away, teasing your g-spot and making you slur a few obscenities. Right when you warned him you were about to come, he stopped and looked.

- Wh-what are you doing ?! You panted. Please, keep going !

- I’m not done with you, yet, he chuckled.

He stood up and kissed you passionately, pulling you close enough so that you’d feel how hard he was, whispering something about how fucking hot and desirable you were. Then, he quickly removed his clothes before having you bend over the counter and taking you from behind.

- Look at you, he directed as he coaxed your face in front of the mirror. So beautiful, taking me so well.

You were faced with your reflection, messy hair and looking flustered, pleasure and excitement giving your face an undeniable glow. You could also see Marshall’s face, twisting in pleasure. Your gazes met in the mirror and he gave you a smirk. He picked up the pace and, next thing you knew, you were crying tears of pleasure, having your first orgasm of many that night. In the final round, the two of you collapsed in bed. Your face was buried against his chest, you were both panting and gasping for air. You were so fucked out that you had trouble forming coherent thoughts but you were feeling fantastic nonetheless.

- It’s crazy, he chuckled after a few minutes.

- What ? You mumbled.

- You’re the sexiest woman on earth and you have no idea, he said before pressing a kiss to your temple. I’m crazy about you. All of you ?

- Are you ? You asked with a yawn.

- I am, he nodded. You know, you could ask anyone in my circle, and they’d tell you I usually don’t fall that hard for anyone. But you… You’re so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. You draw me in. And I’m falling harder for you each day.

You looked at him and squeed before pressing your lips to his. He pulled you closer to him and you closed your eyes, basking in the feeling of his adoration for you. The next day, you had a surprise phone call with a stylist from LA. Apparently, Marshall had missioned them to find the perfect dress for you and they happened to have access to an archive evening gown that fit the theme, previously worn by a gorgeous actress who was your size for the premiere of a movie. The dress was flown in from California and, on the night of the event, you were feeling like a princess. When Marshall picked you up, looking dapper in a tux, he was all smiles, looking at you with excitement.

- Wow, he simply said as he took your hand. You are… wow.

- Thanks to you, you giggled.

- I’m so fucking lucky, he whispered.

- I am, you assured him.

He held your hand during the ride to the event and, as you got ready to step out of the car, you started getting nervous. Glamorous charity events were nothing new and, most of the time, you did well, but you were still wary of other people’s gaze. Marshall seemed to pick on it and brought your hand to his lips.

- How about we skip the red carpet ? You offered.

- Relax, he said with a reassuring smile. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

He grabbed your hand and you exited the car. Thankfully, as he had promised, there wasn’t too much press, just a couple of local reporters and photographers. The two of you quietly walked the red carpet hand in hand and you smiled for pictures. You were reaching the end when you stumbled and almost lost your balance. Thankfully, Marshall caught you at the right time and you ended up in an unlikely dip pose, only for the photographers to snap pictures. For a second as he caught you, you lost your gaze in his baby blue eyes. He didn’t smile a lot - not publicly at least - but his eyes sparkled with amusement and you couldn’t help but laugh. Once your balance was restored, he secured a hand on your waist, holding you tight. One could argue it was to make sure you didn’t trip again, though he was holding you like he had just won an award. He stayed glued to your side all evening and, even as people spoke to either one of you, he didn’t break contact. All in all, you had a lovely time, meeting like-minded people, enjoying the opera and dinner. But the thing you enjoyed the most was Marshall’s hand in yours, the way he proudly introduced you as his lady.

When you got home that night, eager to remove your high heels, you met your reflection in the mirror located in the living room. You enjoyed looking and feeling beautiful one last time. As Marshall saw you looking in the mirror. He kept on gazing at you as if you were the world’s 8th wonder.

- Feeling yourself ? He asked with a smirk.

- Maybe a little, you admitted. Thank you for helping me feel beautiful tonight. I enjoyed it.

He hummed and helped you undo the zipper of the dress before you disappeared in your closet, putting on something comfier. When you reappeared, wearing silk pajamas, he was already in bed, only wearing his boxers. As soon as he saw you, he smiled.

- There it is, you giggled softly. Princess moment is over ! Not too disappointed ?

- Are you kidding me ? He asked as he pullled you in for an embrace. You’re even more beautiful in these than in the dress.

- Right, you scoffed with a headshake.

- No, really, he shrugged. You’re gorgeous in an evening dress but you in your pajamas… that’s the version of you I’m in love with.

Your heart missed a beat and, for a second, you could have sworn the world had stopped turning.

- You… you’re in love with me ?! You asked in shock.

[velvet-paradox]

Dream

Fandom: Call of Duty Pairing: König x Female reader/Velveteen Summary: 70's porn star! AU <-- that's it… that's the whole thing Length: LONG ( I got carried away & I am NOT sorry) Warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY, strong language, explicit content, sex work, a little misogyny, tobacco mentions, alcohol consumption, vaginal fingering, blow job mentions, unprotected p in v, creampies, coworkers to lovers, a little somnophilia, heavily detailed smut. ENJOY!!!

You thought it was a dream, surely it was some made up mirage. There was no one and no way someone was calling you this late into the night. But alas, you blinked your blurry eyes open, one at a time, just to be sure your mind wasn't playing a terrible trick on you.

But it was terribly true.

You fumbled your hand around for the receiver, gripping it as if you were about to bash whoever was on the opposite end right in the nose.

"Hullo?" Your tired voice asked, flinging your other hand over your eyes. There was some shuffling and ruffling sounds, someone was shouting in the background and Rhiannon by Fleetwood Mac could be faintly heard through the chaos.

"This better be fucking important."

"Y/N! Oh thank fuck, I need a favor." It was Tammy, your agent sounding frantic as she cursed at someone nearby.

"Now?"

"Yes now! The new girl must've been nervous as shit to film because she showed up fucking trashed, we can't use her." Tammy huffed into the phone. "We're losing time and money!"

"What's that got to do with me, Tam?"

"An I.O.U. I swear I'll make it up to you if you can get your ass up and ready to film. I can get you a car in ten minutes." Tammy was good people, always put you first even if her brash tone and stony glare had others hightailing it out of her office. Sometimes they were crying; men and women.

"Who's shoot is it?" You asked with a huff as you sadly came to the conclusion that you were not going back to bed at 2:45AM. It was a Wednesday night for fucks sake!

"The Colonel." Tammy's voice flinched.

"Seriously?"

"Come on please Y/N, be sweet for me ok? I'll do your laundry for a week… no a month! Dry cleaning too, you name it you got it. Plus," you could hear the click of a lighter followed by a deep inhale, no doubt another cigarette burning between her chapped but painted lips. "I'll even give you a "$300 advance."

"You do know we're not on speaking terms, right?"

Tammy snorted. "What? Since when?"

"Since Going Down in the Valley! He really gave me an earful on how I should've done better and stretched my jaw before coming to set. So I told him in not so many words that I'm not one of his little soldiers that he can boss around. He didn't like that too much."

You said with a sigh, remembering the stern look he gave down his nose, over his entire head covering. His crossed over massive arms and tilted his head with a click of his teeth. He really didn't like it when you mirrored his posture.

"We'll figure it out when you get here, yeah? For me please, Y/N? You know your my best girl and honestly you're really the only one who can thoroughly handle him." Tammy swindled her way into your veins and answer.

It was tempting. A little too tempting as you weighed your options. Rent was due, the fridge was a little lacking, you needed gas…

She practically squealed with delight as you agreed to the offer, hanging up the phone to take a quick shower and grab your to-go bag before the car arrived.

….

Once on the set, or what was today's mansion and master bedroom of choice, Tammy had rushed up to you with a make-up bag and a flash-in-the-pan hug. She thrusted the two page script to your chest. After curling your lashes and sweeping on some gloss, you slipped into the slinky dress as you went over the obscure dialogue. It was something different. Something soft and sweet.

A couples anniversary, some heavy petting on the ride home, taunts of playfulness. Intrigue. Lust.

Not the rough stuff you were used to when it came to shooting with The Colonel.

Your strappy heels clicked along the freshly polished floors, boom mics and camera men moved around you like puffs of smoke, Tammy who was indeed smoking was frustrated with the lighting.

You paused when you saw him.

König was dressed in a nice and well tailored suit, the jacket held his bulky arms tightly, the button down was checkered and stretched to the very last thread. He looked good. Even though you were giving him the silent treatment as of late, you could appreciate fine art when you saw it.

Your body thrummed when König adjusted his signature face covering hood, messing with the hem before he turned around and saw you for the first time.

You opened your mouth to say something when the bigger, much bigger man spoke.

"Oh no. No no. Nein nein nein!" The Colonel threw up his hands and headed for the master bedroom door.

"Colonel, wait." Tammy shouted, tossing her cigarette into the sink with sizzle, chasing after him and touching his forearm.

"I am not doing a scene with her again." He stated and pointed down at the feather haired agent, he did give you another look though before tearing his arm out of her grip. "Not until she apologizes."

"Well nice to see you too, sir." You snorted and leaned against the built in vanity, fluffing your hair a bit more, fixing your necklace.

"Watch it!"

Tammy put her hands up between the pair of you, the frames of her glasses slipping down the slope of her button nose. You looked up at your co-star, with a head tilt of your own.

"Come on you two, what happened to your chemistry? You guys made us all fucking rich when we shot Tits For That! Can't you put whatever the hell you've got goin' on on the back burner to make some dough?" Tammy made the money gesture with her two fingers in your face. "Who doesn't like money? Think of how much fun we had shooting Bunker Bunny 7!"

"I refuse to work with such a petulant little brat like Velveteen." He huffed, the mask billowing slightly. "You're mature enough to get railed on film but not apologize? Make sense, bitte!"

"Oh, here we go." You sighed and rolled your eyes, truly one of the only things König couldn't stomach unless he was fucking the brat or sass out of someone.

"Can't you two please be adults?"

"So I gagged a little too hard, big deal?! You have women choking on that thing twice a week but oh no, I do it once and make it sloppy and suddenly I'm the only one being scolded." You snarked, a few of the crew members made a noise and moved out of view. König scoffed and Tammy put her head in her hands, thumbs going to ease the headache you two were throwing at her.

"I did not scold you. I tried to help you and you then spat on my boots remember? Real mature."

"Too bad."

"Children! Please, we're not getting any younger and we're losing time here. Can you both please just try and get along so we can get this done and go home."

"I was at home." You made a face and then apologized to Tam, it wasn't her fault.

….

Elise, Tammy's older sister with the fresh haircut and extra long shiny nails, who had started her career on the same side as you only a few short years ago, was now the director. You could hear her calling out positions, where was her coffee? And where on Earth did that cat come from?!

You stood on the landing with König , waiting for your turn to enter the scene and get it over with when you felt his hand on your shoulder.

"Yes?"

"You truly are stubborn you know that, ja?"

"Seriously?" You ground your teeth and seethed behind them, even more so when he gave your arm a squeeze and a little drag closer to him.

"Why are you so upset with me when you're the one who put us in this mess in the first place! All I did was mention something to you."

You scoffed and looked up at in his suit, now with the jacket on.

"Seriously? You pretty much told me I don't know what I'm doing and then proceeded to give me a play-by-play of how to suck dick. I know what I'm doing and I've had no complaints. You've seen my work and we've been co-stars more than a few times by now. Plus, you're the one who made the scene out there just now, not me!" You snapped and fixed the strap of your dress in annoyance.

"I was not telling you what to do, my dear. I only gave you but a few pointers."

"Pointers? I think I'm good thanks."

"I know you know what you're doing but--"

"But what, big guy?"

"I was not instructing you on how to suck cock," König shifted and took his hand away, instead he put in his front slack pocket like the other. "You are perfectly capable and quite good at it. I was instructing into you how I'd like you to perform on me. Specifically."

"What?"

"I don't care how those other women suck me off. I don't care for them. I do however care about you and if were not so stubborn you might have noticed that by now, hmm."

Well that was certainly news to you.

"If you weren't scolding me-- wait." Bells and whistles were soon going off in your head, ringing in your ears that he had some sort of affection, attachment to you. Yes you had chemistry, yes you two got along, yes you two… then it it hit like a car crash dummy. "Oh… oh no."

"Oh ja. That's what I've been trying to explain to you, my dear but you are so incredibly particular, you just wanted to be sassy about it. So I let you. Actions have consequences you know?" König's voice held a lilt to it, as if he had the audacity to be smiling under that hood.

"Oh this is embarrassing."

"Not as embarrassing as you still not apologizing."

You shrugged your shoulders, turned and took his hands in yours. "I'm sorry Colonel. I thought you were giving me shit and telling me I couldn't do my job."

You thought back to that mid-afternoon shoot. On your knees, mouthful and panties wet. König had been moving your head around while he fucked your throat, telling you this and that, how to make him feel good. He wanted you to make him feel good.

You felt guilty now. For two weeks of feeling like shit and taking on roles so you wouldn't have to think about fighting with The Colonel and here it was all a misunderstanding. Your fault.

"You are forgiven, my dear." König said with a smile in his voice, squeezing your hands as you could hear Elise call out that they were ready for you.

"Well if that's the case," you squeeze his hand through his pocket. "I better make this worth it."

"You always do." König chuckled.

….

He destroyed you.

It was strange at first, this soft version of König - you didn't know he had it in him.

With his ex-military background (and Lord knows what he's done or seen!) he was a stickler for routine - order. It made things simple. A blowjob or a sloppy handy, sometimes both because The Colonel literally packs a punch. Girth alone made you feel stuffed. It wasn't until he got the pace down, touched the inside of your knee, moved the silk hem of your dress and thrusted into you. All in one go. His thick fingers had prepped you quite nicely, just like usual.

You got a thumbs up from Elise to get louder, greedier - hungrier for the Austrian inside you, which wasn't hard at all if you were being honest and you had promised to make up your communication error worth it.

A shout of his name, scratching your nails down his thick back had him grunting and fucking down into you harder and faster. Little tears and black dots tickled the corners of your eyes.

"You're so fucking deep!" You sobbed into his bicep, taking a chunk of his soft and conditioned muscle into your mouth.

"You like it that way, no? I can always go deeper, my dear. How would you like that, then?"

"Deeper?" You played your roles well, creasing your brow, biting your lip as if you were truly his innocent wife.

Through the hood you could see how blue eyes darken, a smile in his tone. "Deeper."

He pulled himself out of your sex, thick cock coated in your arousal. Just the sight of him, sparse and glistening pubic hair with you, made you bite your lip. He flipped you over, knew the right angle for the camera and gave your ass a hard spank. It echoed through the bedroom. The noise you made sounded painful but in reality, to be under König's hand, his touch, his body, his musk made it feel like a kiss.

"Say you're ready for me, princess. Say your ready for your Colonel to fuck you nice and deep." He cooed and taunted from behind you, hoisting up your lower half, massaging your cheeks, slapping his length against your pussy.

You looked at him over your shoulder, all blissed out eyes and spit slicked lips. "I'm ready for you Colonel."

Good thing he pushed your head down into the fluffy pillows to muffle your shouts of pleasure because in between the cries for him fucking you, the angle of your hips, how deep he was hitting that spot only König could seem to reach… you whined his name.

His real name. ….

It wasn't the first time you'd let König slip from your lips; only difference was you were always alone when you said it. Not in a room full of boom mics and camera men.

After you finished the shoot and pulled on warm terry cloth robe, thanks to Tammy, you made your way into the master bath to clean up. As you lifted your leg and planted your foot on a very ornate and well cared for clawfoot tub, what remained of König's spend dripping out and down your thigh, the door suddenly opened.

"Just a minute God dammit!"

" 's just me," König announced, slipping into the spacious room. Without a care in the world he sauntered past you to take a piss.

"Really?" You guffawed and turned away, grabbing a fresh washcloth from the ring rack, wetting it.

He snorted. "I quite literally just came inside of you, my dear. This is nothing." He finished, flushed and sat down on the toilet, a robe of his own draped over his shoulders.

"Are you planning on watching me clean you out, or what?"

"I thought you were apologizing, princess. Taking up an attitude like this won't do."

You sighed and tossed the cum rag into the hamper. He'd crossed his arms over his chest and for a split second he looked tiny, cute. "How can I make it better?"

"Take me out to dinner."

"What?"

"We both need to eat. Especially after all that."

"König it's like 4 in the morning."

"So what? Take me to breakfast then."

You scoffed but the look in his eyes and body language, the tilt of his head and little tap taps of his feet on the linoleum floor, meant he was quite serious.

As serious as he was about French toast and runny eggs it seemed as well. You'd done a lot of things with the giant sitting across from you at some hole in the wall diner but eating together was not one of them.

….

Roller Sluts 5.

The cover screams, begs, cries for your attention. Not because it's naughty or too risqué to be in the back of a video store in the ADULTS ONLY XXX section and certainly not because it's number five in a roller rink sex fest. Oh no. It's because it's you on the cover.

Tam had set up the photoshoot months ago, helping her go over the negatives in her luxury home in the sprawling green hills. Laying on your stomach, bare feet and legs kicking as you got your pick for your first solo cover. Usually there were other girls with you, a compilation of arms and legs, flirty glances to the camera or to each other.

You smiled as you mentally gave yourself a little gold star for picking the right image of Velveteen.

A deep navy backless halter top, white trimmed short shorts, knee high ribbed socks and glittering roller skates. You looked almost innocent on the cover, looking over your shoulder as you bent over just enough to show a little cheek, a wink on your face and coy smile.

You were the main attraction of the nudie film, saved the best for last to get railed in. A burly and handsome, devil may care Scotsman by the simple name of Soap (you knew him quite well to call him by his birth name) had cored you out in the Arcade area. You were meant to play Space Invaders when Johnny makes his debut, eating you out from behind, fingering your ass a little before destroying you and your score.

Someone clears their throat, bringing back to the store, out of the fun spring shoot.

A young man, no more than 23 with a soul patch came around the corner, nodding towards the VHS in your palm.

"Are you Velveteen? Like the Velveteen?" The kid stuttered, coming closer and cautiously.

"In the flesh." You smirked and put back the tape.

"Holy balls!" He exclaimed and rushed to shake your hand, his bright eyes never leaving your face. "My friends' are never gonna' believe this. I'm a big fan, I've like, like I've seen everything you've done."

Patchy over here damn near shook your hand clean off before wiping his brow and palms on his jeans. "My pop is gonna' be so pissed he didn't wanna' drive me today!"

"Another big fan I take it?"

"He's the one who showed me Carnal Car Trouble!"

Your third film; your first shoot with König.

Fuck you were so nervous. Intimidated wasn't even close, especially when you met him in person after watching and studying his legit, dirty work for a week. He was big all over. His thighs were the size of a solid tree trunk, waist trim with a deep Adonis cut. His hands, in those tactical gloves, fixing your car under the hood before you were to repay him with what you had that wasn't in your wallet.

That first stretch of his cock was immense, even if it was already slick and covered in your spit. You still felt König 36 hours after that, your scalp was on fire and your make-up was completely ruined by the end of the night.

You autographed a copy of Carnal Car Trouble, made out to the kids' father before leaving the backrooms empty handed. Though you did stop at the door, recognizing König, Soap and another beefcake porn star named Ghost on the cover of a magazine. You hadn't worked with him yet but the way Johnny gushed over the guy, you felt like you knew him well.

….

Tammy called a few days later, another shoot, another idea. She even mentioned that Elise wants to do an actual photospread for Playboy! Not the centerfold the girls you worked with and lived with strived for, no, but a shoot for the team would be bring big bucks and more eyes on Velveteen.

With your head in the clouds, excited and nervous to be in an actual magazine a car honked and stopped you from roller skating down the sidewalk. You turned to see a familiar green Jeep.

With a smile and push off from the curb you rolled your way over to the passenger door, watching the glass disappear as König rolled the window down.

You rested your arms on the frame, ducking your head inside just a bit. "Sorry; you can't afford me, old man."

"Ha ha," König rolled his eyes and that's when you noticed his attire. He wore a nice all black suit and jacket, a forest green silk tie somehow fit around his neck. He looked good. He smelled good, too.

"Got a hot date or what?" The fact that he might be made a stone form in your gut.

"Actually I was looking for you." He admitted as your eyebrows rose.

"For moi?"

"Für dich. Tammy wants to see you. ASAP."

"I just talked to her a few days ago."

"Something important came up I guess. Hop in, cutie."

You snorted at his little pet names, used to them and quietly seeking them out, geeking over how they made you feel and climbed in, taking his hand so you wouldn't slip on your skates. He let you mess around with the radio while he drove, a couple of times you'd catch him tapping his fingers against the wheel.

König really big Bowie was a pleasant surprise.

"You did it!" Tam practically screamed, running around her living room, smoke following her as she circled her desk for the third time as you and The Colonel looked at like a chicken with its' head cut off, which is exactly what she looked like.

"We're gonna' be stinkin' rich!" Tam laughed maniacally while you The Colonel exchanged bamboozled looks.

"What's going on?"

"What's going on, she asks! Oh honey bee I got off the phone with the boss, the head honcho downtown and your films are flying off the shelves! Did you really sign a copy for some punk?"

"Oh. Yeah that was weeks ago."

"Which one?" König asked, curiously crossing his arms behind himself. At ease.

"Carnal Car Trouble."

You didn't miss the way his body jerked when you answered.

"Well thank fuck for that because you're all anyone is talking about and the big boss is giving you your first starring role," Tammy held the cigarette between her teeth and snatched a scribbled down note on the back of coffee ring stained napkin.

Velveteen Dream.

"None of that straight to video shit for you hon," Tam proudly looked at you, proud of her number one fuck doll. "You're name will be front and center on the marquee. You're going to be in theaters baby!"

Your name in lights.

"You did it kid," König gave you a side hug, affection outside of work felt strange but good. He was proud of you too.

"Do it with me."

"What?"

"Be my on screen." You looked up at him, hopeful - begging. You trusted him the most, with or without clothes. He looked between Tam, who gave him shrug, without so many words saying he could if he wanted to and then back to you.

"If you say so."

….

The theatre was packed, not an empty seat in the whole place! Chatter and laughter bounced off the emerald embossed walls, some people (other than you, The Colonel, Tam and Elise of course) had dressed up. Some fans had spotted you and König right away, he's hard to miss when he can see over everyone like some sort of surveillance up there.

The shower scene left some of the audience breathless. You could hear it in the room. König gave your knee a squeeze, before he moved it back to his own you stopped him and kept it there. You needed extra grounding, watching yourself for the first time on the big screen.

Everyone can see your pleading face, your desperately wiggling in The Colonel's big strong hands, your fingers flex in his grip. He holds them above your head with one hand, covered in soapy suds and running water while the other is finding that perfect, spongy patch inside your gummy pussy.

"Oh fuck yeah!" Your voice echoes, making you clench around nothing as you remember the exact feeling. "Keep fucking me with your fingers, big guy. I want you to make me cum."

You look a fucking mess as you blush, watching yourself crumble as König turned a bit to show off how hard he was, the curve of his naked ass got a few women to holler at the screen. Everyone laughed. He had lifted your leg then, over his thick forearm to change the angle. The camera getting a full look at your trimmed bush, how fast and how deep The Colonel was finger fucking you to a sobbing climax.

The kitchen scene was loved by all. You didn't think you would get aroused from watching yourself and König, it was a job but… something about seeing it from an outsiders view made it seem more real. You could see how he looked at you, how thoughtful he was in gathering up your hair as you swallowed him down your throat there at the kitchen table. You had remembered to stretch your jaw this time. Spit was everywhere, your eyes looked so pretty all mascara streaked. You dug your nails into his naked thighs, dragging them towards his knees as you took his cock a little further.

"Look at you, my dear, so greedy for cock, ja? You'll take it wherever you can get it, hmmm? I like you like this, pliant and useful just like that body of yours. I am going to ruin you."

And he did.

That kitchen table didn't stand a chance, it shook and creaked, and begged for as much mercy as you did getting fucked on top of it. He's propped your leg up in an L shape on the wood, holding on your hip as he pounded you out. That grip he held on the back of your neck, facing the camera as you whined and grabbed at the tablecloth. He hadn't seen it then in the moment but as you looked at the screen, staring at yourself you licked your lips and smiled at the camera.

König squeezed your leg again when he saw it.

The main event was coming and the tension and squirming in the auditorium was intense, the room was hot and you were fairly certain the couple behind you was doing more than just watching the screen.

The bedroom is dark, just a table lamp is on casting shadows all over the screen and all the viewer can see is König's big, muscular back, a white sheet covering his lower half and his hand is moving back and forth. One might think he was just on display jerking off but it's not until the camera moved to show you there, on your side asleep as he groped over your tits, squeezing them, playing and tugging at your nipples as you slept. The crowd made an audible gasp.

"Just so pretty when you sleep," The Colonel announces, breathless as he moved his hand down your body, taking his time in spreading your legs, showing God and everyone your cunt. "So soft and loose, fuck you're wet even in your sleep, just gonna'--" The noise he made when he easily slid his middle finger inside you. You licked your lips as you watched him finger you, his ring finger joined the party and the thick pad of his thumb pressed down on your clit. You jumped in your "sleep", a few women behind in front of you gasped and turned around to look at you with cheesy grins.

"Takes my fingers so well, gotta' prep this cute little hole for my fat cock, right? Can't core you out without doing some work first." König groaned when he pulled his fingers out, wet and glossy with your juices. You moaned quietly and moved your legs further apart as he started to lift your leg, stopping for a moment as he waited for you to settle back into "sleep".

He kept your leg up, holding it softly, gently rubbing his mask to the back of your head before rocking his leaking cock between your folds, gathering up more and more of your arousal as lube.

"Good girl, stay sleeping… I'm just gonna' ease right into this pussy. My favorite pussy, ja. Nothing like it, fuck." The Colonel admitted on screen as he pushed himself into you.

König fucked you slow and steady, the drag of his cock inside you was full and at times overwhelming but he know how to treat you and your body, you had never gotten off as thoroughly with another co-star or partner than with the big ex-KorTac operator next to you.

He had moved your leg a little higher then, showing the camera how good you could take his size. Watching it disappear inside you, rocking back and forth as his large hand separates your labia, touching what's left of his shaft as he groans in your ear.

Suddenly your eyes blink open and you gasp, looking back at him.

"What… What are you doing?"

"Shhh baby it's okay, go back to sleep okay?" The Colonel grunts and attempted to close your eyes but you're "waking up" now and getting fidgety.

"Do you do this a lot? Do you fuck me in my sleep?"

König paused to look down at you. "Nein. This isn't the first time."

"That's so… that is so fucking hot." You moan and loop your arm around his neck, looking at him drowsily and kissing his mask. "You fucking me while I'm unconscious, using my body. Do I cum?"

The Colonel grabbed you tight, rolling you onto your back, hovering over your naked body. This looks like watching a couple on film versus just two actors but you must be doing something right.

"Oh baby you cum so hard and it feels so good, like your body just knows what to do, milks my cocks dry."

"You cum inside me too?"

"Every time."

"No wonder I'm sticky when I wake up sometimes."

"Can't help it, this pussy was made for me."

It sounded like an admission, like König meant it. It made you feel hot as you continued watching yourself fuck on the screen. It's not until he leans over in his seat do you realize you're holding your breath.

"I didn't lie about that part."

Startled, as if he read your mind you look over at him and when the shot changes to show you now in his lap, legs wrapped around his waist, his thick hands under your ass lifting you up and down his cock, moaning loudly and holding his masked face to your chest do you look down and see the bulge in his slacks.

His eyes are locked on yours, your bodies moving on the screen are the last thing you're worried about at the moment. Because you're thinking the exact same thing.

….

"Fuck me you feel so fucking good. How do you feel this good all the time? Fuckin' magical pussy I swear!" König admitted once he was balls deep, taking your hand as you snuck out of the theater and into one of the private bathrooms. You couldn't get your dress hiked up fast enough, your panties to the side, bent over the sink. Getting railed for the first time without a camera present had you both feral.

You barely got to taste his pre-cum before he had lifted his hood for the first time, ever, and kissed you hard and fast on the mouth. You whined and held onto his heavy arms, pulling your body into his. Your breasts pilled out over the silk slip you wore for the evening, looking frantic into the mirror in front of you both.

"You're so fucking thick baby, you fill me up so good."

"Oh ja? You like being a greedy little toy for me don't you? You are so fucking juicy."

You hung your head then, moaning his name and getting dragged back and forth on his cock. This was more sensual of course because you weren't being watched with eager eyes, this was just for you two. König reached between your legs once he kicked them apart a little further and lightly, at first, rubbed your clit in little circles, pressing down on the hood of it, pinching it between two fingers, rolling it until you cried and fucked back on him. It was swollen and sensitive, edged while watching your first major picture was unexpected but this… holy fuck, this was worth it.

Even more so when he grabbed a handful of your hair to make you look at him rail you in the bathroom mirror.

"I want you to cum. I want you to look at me as you do it, I need to know--"

"It's for you, König I swear. Just give it to me a little harder. Just like that!"

He slapped your ass and held onto your hips until you couldn't take it anymore, the build up was too much, the little glances here and there, the lingering touches, the easiness - the trust.

You came suddenly with a shudder, your legs jerking as he was close to follow after you, spilling his cum, rope after rope. Warmth filled your entire body and even though you'd just climaxed with your co-star, your previous work could be heard through the walls.

You both locked eyes and laughed in the mirror.

Tagging: @nexthyperfix @konig-breedme @the-con-she-called-conscience @littlelovebug98 @mafer383 @synnersaint