#it being canon is legit the point and y'all missing it

[wecoudvebeenballsdeep]

Supernatural fans when someone says Cas is spelt Cass:

[intrepidacious]

time after time: reread edition [3]

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 10.1k 💀

chapter warnings: one last reminder to internalize the premise of the fic, i will just assume you know what’s up from this point on; canon-typical violence; mention of alcohol; some more permanent damage; even more banter. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

read the full chapter here | series masterlist | reread masterlist

after an unexptected second week off (i got sick after going on vacation, yay summer!) we return for the third part of the reread event!! as always, if you're new, this is a reread commentary on already published chapters—an extended a/n, if you will. by clicking on the read more you're going to see spoilers up to and including chapter three 💚

every day's a holiday – tl;dr:

in the flashbacks, the reader officially meets sam and bucky for the first time. after hearing rumors about ULTIMATUM, a newly formed group taking after the flag smashers, sam wants reinforcements to find out more. he knows about twelve's time powers from steve, and cashes in an old favor she owes to steve to get her help. bucky, not knowing anything about her yet, is sceptical.

in the loop, twelve is getting nervous about being unable to stop the loop from repeating. experimenting with the timing of the mission doesn't help; neither does entering the downstairs labs through the tunnels as bucky investigates on his own and lands in an explosion. after more than a week on her own, twelve tells sam about her time loop situation. he insists that bucky be told as well. while going to get coffee, bucky writes a note to himself on twelve's arm and asks her to tell only him about the loop during its next iteration. she does, and they attempt to figure it out together—to no avail, as bucky gets shot through twelve and her wounds stay through the next loop. she decides that they're both going to involve sam again and that she will try to contact strange for help.

behind the loop

i'm not gonna lie to y'all, these chapters are getting harder and harder to summarize. there's a lot going on and i have work tomorrow, so let's just crack on.

believe it or not, when i started writing this fic, no way home wasn’t even out yet and i was absolutely convinced that my whole thing with the tower would be canonically impossible. and then we just never found out who bought avengers tower. so that was that.

Like a pesky little voice of conscience. And on your day off, no less.

the chapters i’ve recently been writing have been more serious as the loop continues, and i kind of miss this really fun narrative side remarks that tell so much about twelve as a character. i really love writing her and her concerning habits.

this flashback is the closest i come in the actual fic in tying the whole thing into canon chronologically, i think. the mcu timeline is an absolute mess, but since tfatws takes place in early 2024-ish and the time loop happens in 2025, that gives us about a year or so that the characters have known each other by the time the main plot starts. that is, in normal human time. at least that’s my headcanon.

“Ah-ah-ah.” You wrangled the mug out of his hands before he had the chance to move, barely resisting the urge to kick his shin for good measure.

even though they’re happening in consecutive chapters, a bit of time passed between me writing the nat flashback and this one. i thought it was very funny that my instinct clearly was that everyone would just start trying to break stuff around her to see if her powers were legit. and isn’t that poetic in a way? (there were no deeper thoughts behind this but wouldn’t it be fun if there were?)

despite me sending all of my characters to therapy in this fic (because let’s face it, they all need it desperately), they’re all so bad at expressing their emotions, honestly. then again, what kind of therapist would actually be able to really help you if you’re a super-powered person who loves going into emotional shut-down and guarding themselves with sarcasm? whoever they are, they’re not getting paid enough.

An entire conversation seemed to pass between the two of them without either saying a single word. Sam held up three fingers with a sly smirk; Bucky ended up rolling his eyes.

i loved that little subtle reference to the big three. i was so proud of that one. also continuing to develop sam and bucky’s friendship partnership next to the actual plot is always fun.

He ignored the question, but the way he looked at you and then crossed his arms made you decide to put salt in his coffee.

yay, another little callback to chapter one!! all these months later and sam still won’t let that one go.

“I’d like to see you try.” […] You’re trying. You really are.

this parallel i actually got complimented on in the past and that made me very happy. i’m always trying to make the shift from the flashback to the main plot the least jarring it can possibly be, and this transition just worked so well. also, bucky’s "oddly bright blue" eyes are a little nod to a wrinkle in time, so there’s another little chapter one parallel for you.

this is the first chapter where the first communication blocks are really starting to kick in. the fact that twelve won’t talk to anyone about what’s actually going on with her despite being stuck in a literal nightmare is so integral to her character. not to get to deep but that whole refusing to get help when you should theoretically be able to do something on your own is something we have in common <3 i’m also sending her through the rest of the stages of grief in this chapter, which was very much on purpose. unsurprisingly, anger was the most fun to write.

It’s not like you can google something like “time loop problem” and come up with a list of practical steps to follow. You know this because you did google, and if you have to read the name Phil Connors one more time you are going to scream.

the different approaches to trying to get bucky through the mission alive were also really interesting to come up with. i made a really bad drawing of how i imagine the setup of the whole facility, but i won’t show that to you because it’s embarrassing. anything you can come up with in your heads probably looks better anyway.

this is also the part where twelve officially gets her nickname!! finally!! why only now, you ask? well, on the one hand, bucky really does only use it in specific situations. on the other hand, i literally only came up with it by the time the first two chapters were already posted and i didn’t want to go back. i remember col was posting in the embers at the time and i loved her reader having a nickname so much i wanted to give mine a special little nickname too. i also had to text two friends to confirm it wasn’t stupid as hell. me? insecure? never.

you know when you’re doing a group project and you’re feeling really good about the work you put in and the direction it’s all going and then someone comes in and completely derails the whole thing? that’s bucky in this loop. i love him, but jfc.

"What the hell did you do, rob an ambulance and take a bath?" […] "I don’t know what your problem with them is, and I don’t need to know. But is it worth more than Bucky’s life?"

i love sam. i love him not taking things seriously until he realizes that they’re serious as hell, and then switching to compassionate and level-headed. i know this is a bucky fic but sam deserves all the appreciation and i truly hope i’m able to show that.

i also like the contrast between his reaction and bucky’s to twelve telling them about the loop. we don’t see the first time bucky gets told, but her incoherent rambling at him while he’s just trying to take it in means so much to me. but we’re not there yet. we’re getting coffee first.

holy shit, i just had to double check but i’m pretty positive that this is our first lucy scene. she was never supposed to be in the fic much, but i’m not gonna lie, she grew on me. she’s based on several of my favourite former colleagues of mine, and this is not the only fic of mine she’s infiltrated. we are all but living in the lucy cinematic universe. on a side note, she got her name because i like the name and also because i’m relatively sure there’s no super relevant lucy in a marvel … thing. i often like to include characters from different marvel properties in my fics (like ULTIMATUM themselves), but i just wanted someone without any obvious ties to anything.

“What do you want?” you turn to Bucky. “Coffee.” “What kind?” “Just … coffee.”

any ordinary days fans in the house tonight?

the coffee quest was another side plot i didn’t expect when setting out to write this fic, but it’s served me so well in establishing their dynamic a little bit more. also, the writing thing!! i’m so fond of twelve not being able to decipher bucky’s handwriting at first. and i like that he just comes up with something so practical on day one of the whole thing.

“Crazy?” His expression hardens somewhat, and an irritated flush appears on his cheeks. “Why is it crazy?”

is it just me or do these two seem to be having two entirely different conversations? :)

You don’t think, moving purely out of instinct.

ah, i do enjoy upping the stakes near the end of the chapter. as if twelve’s whole situation hadn’t sucked enough already. but don’t we all love a good 'patching each other up' scene? i’d say it was worth it but then again i know how it ends. also shout-out to sam once again for being a great friend and a good brother. sarah i love you i hope you’re having a great, calm july 4th. sadly, we have a wizard to seek out.

“What do you say, Barnes? Think you can trust me?”

and isn’t that the whole thesis of the story, really?

how it's going

well. not gonna lie but things are not going according to plan!! after my holiday (which was great by the way, thanks for asking) i went back to work for the two days i was scheduled that week, went home and immediately got sick for eight days. i've only been feeling significantly better yesterday, and so writing hasn't exactly been a priority. regrettably.

but fear not, because today i'm pretty sure i had a breakthrough with the thing i've been struggling with in chapter seven. i'm optimistic i'll be able to write the rest of it over the course of the weekend and then finally move on to chapter eight. which is hopefully gonna be a little shorter for a change. oh, i also wrote a bit of an unexpected bonus chapter today so look forward to that at some point.

i'm still not sure if i want to move my schedule backwards or if i'll try to squeeze in another reread chapter next week. i guess we'll all find out together.

until then, take care of yourselves and i'm always here if you're lonely and stuck in a time loop and just need someone to listen 💚

[phantaloon-books]

Things about Tower of Nero that I want to highlight to remember them forever:

Lu being an absolute badass woman, I just love her too much

Piper McClean being canon wlw, she was actually kissing another girl, we really fell in love in october

Chaos being canonically female (just chaos being mentioned as a deity rather than what's below tartarus)

nobody DIED, like no one on the good side at least?? yes plenty of beings have died throughout TOA, but nobody died in TON?? so many died in TLO and BOO, I expected to mourn someone and I didn't have too??! it made me so happy

solangelo. that's it. solangelo makes me happy.

will being incredibly supportive of nico, and instead of stopping him, going with him on dangerous adventures because he doesn't want to leave him alone. also them treating Nico's PTSD for what it is

WILL SOLACE CANONICALLY GLOWS IN THE DARK. HE'S A GLOWSTICK BABY.

also will just appearing at the gates of the throne room, glowing in rage because someone touched his boyfriend (and tried to kill his dad), and him just marching through everyone (everyone else letting him), just to pick up his hurt precious boyfriend and take care of him.

meg McCaffrey got her happy ending. she's baby, she deserves her family and her happy ending. also Lu being the mother and the 12 children being siblings?? that's one hell of a way to tell nero to fuck off and right his mistakes. we love meg.

dionysus being the best olympian after apollo. the duo content we needed, and now will never get

nico mentioning bob and how he wants to go look for him, because he can still be in tartarus

rachel still being a Total badass and hitting people in the eye with her blue hairbrush thus being iconic

meg acting as lester's anchor and only reason why he didn't let go of the ledge, not falling into chaos, is top tier 'reasons why I cried reading', because if you think about it, Meg is the first ever friend apollo ever had, and them being best friends is everything to me

also apollo choosing to go looking as lester rather than apollo because lester feels like home is on top tier 'reasons why I cried reading' too

again, the only thing apollo did in the end (once he was god again) that could be described as 'godly' was be in several places at once, fly his chariot, and get meg her unicorn

but apollo shooting fucking fire out of his hands is crazy asf, it was so cool. he really got amazing godly powers this book.

rick being bold enough to showcase abusive parenting knowing that a huge porcentage of his readers are minors, helping many realize that they could be in abusive households, and giving them a tool to reach out for help

apollo defeating nero was so satisfactory, because you realize in the end, that nero wasn't really a monster, he was monstrous, but still very much human (if only with some godly power), and pretty useless once he couldn't hide behind props and weapons, his being wasn't powerful, he was just under layers of protection

the jackson/blofis scene was so warm and loving, they really are willing to put their family in danger, baby estelle in danger, to help 'percy's friends' even tho she knew percy didn't like apollo, but she still takes in everyone who needs help, and paul being a loving and accepting husband

sally working on her SECOND novel, she really is having her best life

none of the big heroes from other series having protagonism, besides nico and will, instead giving the other kids from camp halfblood their chance to show they're just as worthy as the "heroes of olympus"

(still I would have loved to see a scene with everyone else, like the heroes of olympus guys, fighting together one last time, just for nostalgia's sake - I legit hoped to see percy and annabeth arriving with chiron in triumvirate tower, but yeah)

the arrow of dodona may have been a dumb, cringey, and slightly ridiculous thing at first, and I personally rolled my eyes everytime it said anything, but it knew what would happen from the start, and without its sacrifice, apollo would have achieved nothing. we stan one arrow

nico wearing a white cowboy hat. idky but it makes my heart swell with joy. he a gay cowboy

y'all know I love Apollo's arch, and I just gotta point this out. his trials, his time as lester, started with him falling to earth, and ended with him getting up after purposely throwing himself off the earth, towards tartarus, almost falling to chaos. that's really clever writing.

the olympians watching over him, and some actually being concerned for him rather than his progress.

poseidon not really giving a fuck about the world or council meetings anymore because percy's not there anymore

athena being the only one apart from artemis who trusted apollo could do it makes me warm fsr

lester deciding that the best way to retell his adventures is by singing is hilarious to me, he really thinks it'll solve everything

Grover not telling percy and annabeth jason died seems so funny to me, he really said "nah it doesn't matter much, field trip, yes"

"hey man" my heart broke in twenty million pieces. like I don't know where I expected to see jason. but that wasn't it. and it hurt me as much as it hurt apollo man.

(also I kinda hoped we would see nico summon his spirit or smth, but I'm actually happy nico realized that jason went by his own choice, and he was in peace, so he decided not to summon him, because it was alright. that hurt too)

kinda love how lester passes out after literally every battle. it reminds you that even tho he's apollo, his body isn't. I'm sure we all would pass out too if we did a quarter of what lester did in the span of 4 days. his body isn't made to endure that, it doesn't even have a halfblood endurance, it's a weak mortal body

the trogs were fucking hilarious. their screeches and grrs, idk there's something ridiculous and so childish about them, it's so fun

really happy that apollo never had a /real/ love interest (reyna doesn't count), cause that wasn't what his story was about. instead he got to make so many friends, and have quality time with them and his children, it's amazing

apollo being thankful people were telling him he'd grown, and was more human, because he realized that was the best thing he could have learned from his time as a mortal

also him saying fuck you man to zeus and his speech, like "no asshole dad, I did learn, I'm not going to see this as punishment, it was a great time in which bad things happened but I enjoyed it." yes, we love apollo not letting zeus win

getting to see what everyone will do now. nico and will figuring out rachel's prophecy, probs saving bob. rachel living her best life away from her parents. leo doing what leo does, always helping those who have no one else. the hunters' open storyline about this fox, possibly hinting at content? piper settling down in a quiet life is what she deserves tbh, she's earned quiet life with a cute gf, wish her the best. Frank and hazel being the best praetors, and I bet they will continue to be so. And annabeth and percy, who chose their happiness over all, at last

kinda wish we got to see someone still really miss jason after apollo becomes god again tho lmao like apollo missed jason more than the others, nico and piper being the exception. I mean, leo is fine and dandy, hazel and frank are okay, percy and annabeth are done mourning... I just we got to see any of them really mourning, rather than reading they mourned. it would have made it feel more emotional

the last conversation and the last words in general. "the sun always comes back" and "we're friends now. call on me. I'll be there for you" that shit got me sobbing my heart out. rick really managed to do right by the books and end it like he should have, unlike BOO. he took what made TLO good and used a similar formula. it's very different from "and for once I didn't look back", but it still fills you with warmth and the feeling that even though it's over, it's okay.

I'm just really emotional, this is all I can think about, but you bet I'm gonna add more when I remember

[hematomes]

I saw your post about ppl losing their shiz about Kaeya fanart being “whitewashed” when it’s literally darker than he is in canon. I agree btw I love like basically all Kaeya art out there I love one eyepatch man.

anyhoo, I have a story. I once saw a tiktok about a kaeya art. it was specifically labeled “IN PROGRESS” or whatever so you knew the artist wasn’t done. it was a gorgeous piece of art btw. So far, the only thing that had been colored was his hair and some of his clothes.

pretty much everyone in the comments started harrasing her about how he was whitewashed and the artist had to be a white supremacist and i think someone said “see I knew everyone who played genshin was racist just delete the game at this point.”

i was just like 😳 wow jeez it’s literally IN PROGRESS the artist legit said so.

the artist eventually posted the final version (after having to delete the first video and deal with several threats) it did turn out beautiful, but on the comments there and on every post of theirs after people are lurkign in the comments bad-mouthing them.

as much as I definitely am for characters not being whitewashed (especially Kaeya bc I love him your honor) I think some people take it way too far when the person they’re yelling at literally just wanted to get people excited about their WIP.

hi! sorry im so late this issue became quite sensitive lol i had to work up the courage to come back to it. it's gonna be a bit long, but i really need to say all this

if there's one thing i noticed about the genshin community on tiktok and twitter, it's that there is a whole, whole lot of social justice warriors and overall it's extremely toxic. it's something that surprised me because the people i interact with on tumblr are all super sweet and not one bit toxic so? idk, tumblr is just a different breed i guess

your story is extremely saddening. everytime there's a kaeya fanart, people forget about the color theory and the artists' style and claim it's whitewashed and i genuinely don't understand why. if someone could explain it to me, am i missing something? im not an artist so perhaps im mistaken, idk, but i've never seen a fanart where kaeya was whitewashed.

the thing that pisses me off the most is that most of the time it's white ppl calling something whitewashed. i'm not saying you shouldn't call out racism if you see it just bc you're white, just that these people aren't even right - and often you see poc coming into the debate and explaining it's not whitewashed/saying it doesn't bother them. moreover, i've literally seen fanart of beidou as a black girl, which isn't representation in my opinion - beidou is already a poc, and asian people need at least as much representation as black people, so it's plain racism. same thing with kaeya, i've seen edits of him with stereotypical african features, and it's really sad that no one is calling this out but yelling about whitewashing as soon as he isn't the exact same color as the official arts. hell, someone even said "so what if it's darker? it's still whitewashing" and i??? am flabbergasted. whitewashing is absolutely disgusting, but ppl keep misunderstanding what it means and just using it to gratuitously harass artists.

now, don't get me wrong. i believe that you can draw whatever you want. but the thing is - if you get mad when someone draws kaeya white (if they really do, i mean), you can't just applaud someone else's that draws another character black. racism goes both ways, and it's bordering on fetishism. i, as a poc (mixed-race, caucasian + african), am extremely uncomfortable everytime i see this double-standard.

but anyway, the fact remains that sjw have plagued the genshin fandom. and it's not just about kaeya's skin color (we don't even know if he's really a poc - we know he's tan according to paimon, and i believe she called him "exotic"? so idk) but also about the ships. everytime i see a shippy tiktok, there's plenty of ppl out here saying it's wrong, claiming their own ship is the most canon. if i'm not mistaken, kaeluc is the one that gets the most hate, and i genuinely, once again, don't understand why.

i talked about them before and explained how it's not incest bc they really aren't brothers, but i swear every now and then i see people throwing death threats and slurs anytime someone hints at them. idk if you are familiar with the eng va's fandom, but sometimes they play among us together, aether's va does some livestreams where he invites different voice actors. but diluc's va is never there, and i was wondering why - recently i learned that it's because he retweet a fanart of kaeya and diluc fighting alongside each other (not even a shippy fanart, apparently) and people harassed him and excluded him from the fandom. and now the same thing is happening to griffin burns, childe's va, bc he retweeted (or liked, idk) a fanart of lumine and childe fighting or something and people called it pedophilia bc lumine would be a minor. i'm not even gonna dive into this bc the travelers are canonically like 30 times childe's age, but what i mean is - people are so full of hate and i can't fathom living like this?

the point is, i totally respect anyone who doesn't ship something i ship. i myself don't like certain ships - like zhongli/xiao, jean/diluc - but im not gonna harass ppl who do just because i can? that's messed up, i just don't get it. i wish the fandom wasn't that bad bc i really enjoy this game

anyway, im really disappointed but still grateful, bc my followers & people i've interacted with here have been nothing but sweet and respectful. i hope none of y'all come across the toxic side of the genshin fandom. stay safe y'all!

[imsimplylizzy]

BF Animation Guide Snippets

hehe here's my coming back treat to y'alllll~

I bought this with the birthday money my relatives gave me months ago so yeyyy, this is my first Banana Fish merchhh!

But anywaysss! here are some character sheets from itt!

SHORTER W/O GLASSES>>>>>>>>> cuz damnnn he do be fineee

and thenn, I downloaded a photo translator to understand some parts of the interview sections and here they aree!(ik this isnt 100% accurate but this is my only shot at actually "reading" the contents, but feel free to correct stuff!!)

*sighs cuz why do we keep winning at AshEiji canon

and thennn, for some reasons there are trailer thingies which idk if i missed in the anime(like those things at the end) or wasnt there AHHHA cuz i dont remember

okay but the fact that Ash and Eiji were the ones speaking in the trailers of ep 23 and 25 respectively is just adding to my bf depression at this point wow

If y'all want to see more like more of those character thingies then feel free to askk! I honestly just wanna scan this and share to the world but idk how HAHAHHA

sorry for this being lowqual HAHHAH i legit just saved this from my tweets just to post something heree

[doodle-dog-diary]

SALTOBER Day Three: Movie

Original post here

I think I've mentioned this somewhere before, but I did not like the third httyd movie. Here is a numbered list why:

It didn't make sense for it to try to mirror the book series? Like y'all weren't doing that shit with the first two, why start now? The whole "all the dragons had to go into hiding" thing worked in the books because there was actual buildup to it. But here was no hint of this ever happening in the previous two movies??And the Big Scary Antagonist just didn't feel threatening enough? Which leads me to my next point,

The villain (I think his name was Grimmel? I keep calling him Grinch in my head.) Just wasn't super intimidating or threatening? Alvin in the books felt like a Genuine Threat because like. He's cunning. He's underhanded. And every time the gang tries to kill him, he just won't die. Grinch, on the other hand? Like ok he's just some twiggy little old guy just SHOOT HIM WITH A CROSSBOW or something it's not that hard

The "final farewell" scene where Hiccup lets Toothless go had like. No emotional impact at all? For me at least. Like, come on, we all know they're going to meet up not 5 minutes after this, there's no way they're gonna end the movie without showing off the uwu cute dragon babies

It's the ✨heteronormativity✨for me. Well ok at least dreamworks didn't make her pink with long eyelashes and a hair bow, I'll give them that.

Ok so this is more of a personal taste thing, but I don't think that the aesthetic fit in with the previous two movies. Also why's everyone dressed in the same-ish leather armour. They tryna be viking power rangers or some shit?

I don't like how they basically reduced Astrid to just the Supportive Girlfriend. Queen did not deserve that.

Why. Why did they have to make Gobber ✨canonically gay✨ in like the weirdest way possible. Ok I know it's because they're tryna pander to the queer community but don't want to "sacrifice" someone from the main cast, but like. Why. YES I KNOW ERET IS NOT UNDERAGE BUT IT WAS LIKE WATCHING YOUR 60-YEAR-OLD UNCLE THIRST AFTER A 20-YEAR-OLD MODEL, IT MADE ME UNCOMFY, I DID NOT LIKE IT

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MADE ME UNCOMFY? SNOTLOUT. SNOTLOUT THIRSTING AFTER VALKA. AS IN HICCUP'S MOM. HIS AUNT. AAAAAAAAAAA

(Side note: to clarify, I'm NOT against queer characters in media! In fact! I think there should be more queer characters in media! Like that's a good thing! My stance on Making Characters Queer is basically this: 1) some random person on the internet headcanons some character as being gay or bi or trans or whatever: ✔️ cool. Y'all having fun? Good for you. I don't really care. You do you or whatever. 2) fucking disney or some shit tryna make another first gay character where the only indication that they're gay is like just that one line of dialogue. Or blink-and-you-miss-it background representation: ❌ ok. So? You want me to give you a gold star stickew? Becaush youwu've been twying sho hawd to repwesent ✨the gays✨ uwu, pwetty pwease give you my money? Bitch please. TRY HARDER. 3) motherfuckers "confirming" some character is "asexual" via tweet only. "Congrats! This cartoon character who appears in a kids cartoon for kids is ace! This is because they're never shown to have sex! This is super legit! :) hooray! Aren't we such good allies :))" ❌ I AM GOING TO RIP OUT YOUR JUGULAR WITH MY TEETH of course they're not going to be shown in a sexual relationship it's a kids cartoon, Sharon, what the fuck is wrong with you)

(Sideside note: I literally just thought of this but like. Wouldn't it be funny if like, instead of the light fury or whatever, they made it so that Toothless was like. Gay for a sea dragon that's like ten times his size. The sea dragon is also like, not Sexy and Elegant at all, he just looks goofy as hell. And in the end Toothless and his massive fuckass boyfriend also show up with a bunch of baby dragons. And it's never explained where they came from.)

(Sidesideside note: I once read a fanfic on Fanfiction.net, (before it was banned in Malaysia :( so sad) where Astrid was the village chief instead of Hiccup, and Hiccup was like her inventor/adventurer trophy husband. I think that was fun. Hiccup could just have fun and do whatever he wanted and Astrid could like. Not be reduced to being just Hiccup's girlfriend. So yeah. I liked that. I wish I still had access to ff.net)

[talesoftextposts]

Exactly! Crestoria is not the only game they don't really keep tabs with. A while ago i played a saint seiya game by them and it had many many issues. If you cannot have multiple games with quality than please don't. Is bad for us and the employees, those poor people must be going crazy :c

At first I liked kasque, quite different than what I would expect from a goddess, but I ended disliking her...

I feel kinda bad for aegis just being a punching bag for jokes and Yuna just being there to look pretty, they have a lot of potential for the story. Like you said Yuna had a great point and a good reflection moment but whatever eh? Aegis too, I felt his story like a punch on the gut because I tend to be like him and the queen, but again, whatever...

I do the arena for the free stuff too! I am not competitive at all XD

hello again anon!! im going to do another readmore gksghkeg

yeah i honestly...ugh. i have just a lot of issues w bamco in general but i also Do Not want them to pay attention to me jic they tell me to stop making memes or something stupid like that— like genuinely instead of making the game more functional or adding like...idk. any story or shit that makes Sense they just added things like the transcendence board which is just. for ppl who already maxed out their ascension boards?? after like 6 months??? Y'ALL... ik for a while too the phantom tower was Waaayyy too difficult but i think they nerfed it back to normal considering i can now clear thru level 40 at least :/ but overall the game is just. geared towards ppl who drop fucktons of cash on it. if you look at the ppl in the top 3 in arena rn? you KNOW they've spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on this game. what the fuck.

also minor gripes are just...they don't add very many new units anyway, compared to like even asteria, and i get that there's effort for the whole models or w/e but...i mean if rays can do it... and i don't mean that in the rate that banners are released, bc those are...kind of annoyingly often as of late (looking @ all the crestoria cast alts) but the fact they're only for 1 or 2 charas who are Only ssrs, and it genuinely makes r and sr stones and sr charas just...obsolete and useless imo? like i genuinely have EVERY sr AND r full awakened/ascended which. is probs partly due to the drop rates being Absolute Garbage, but thank god they implemented a pity system, right? ...right? [tired sigh] i've saved enough for julius who has been in crestoria for 228 days, bamco, fucking release h—

i also want to add that i've contacted support MULTIPLE times abt issues w the game and they have legit just told me "hm sucks have u tried playing the game w all other apps closed" like yes, bamco, but that's not the problem??

SORRY for several paragraph rant abt the gameplay i just have some very strong opinions LMAO

i understand not liking kasque! tales antags...and characters in general, actually, are rather hit or miss. i personally just love evil women so im rlly in love w her GSKEHGESKHG

but as for the aegis and yuna things... YEAH. i rlly love them both and it's been extremely disappointing to see how they've been treated by the story :( like even if yuna's acting silly to cover her own feelings, it would be nice to get those scenes we get in other tales games (like...idk even the scenes in xillia like where alvin and elize sit and talk in the park, and leia talks w i think jude or milla depending on the route?) considering it's like...is penelope going to be okay? can she ever go back to her?? is she okay just crossing the sea and leaving her, even if there's really no choice??? sorry for the character introspect i just have a lot of thoughts—

aegis too, it's like. i don't mind teasing to an extent, but i really feel sometimes they go too far w it :( esp in like. events and the character episodes moreso than the main story (tho i could be remembering incorrectly) which makes me wonder if they just have different writers for each but even THEN like the main story still fails to act like yuna and aegis Exist half the time?? and JEEZ yeah i am constantly thinking abt aegis and queen rebecca, esp imo it's just a very... well first of all, that has to be Traumatizing As Hell but second of all i strongly headcanon he was unable to say it bc he didn't mean it and also i have a headcanon that the whole event has kept him from ever saying the words "i love you" ever again so that's that on THAT. (these are my headcanons pls don't send me hate over them they're not canon i promise—)

and honestly same!! i used to be sss rank and then i stopped caring abt arena for a bit and dropped a couple ranks...oops. i'm currently s-5 and had to FIGHT to keep myself there this season. it's not that i rlly care abt winning or being high ranking. or first, even, i just want the prizes from being at a certain rank/placing tbh. which is why.....................................oh im so tired of the ppl with lvl 120 fully awakened new ass units like i GET IT you have MONEY but i am not spending that much on a mobile game!!

ANYWAY thank u for coming to my ted talk omfg im so sorry this is so long (again)

[jlf23tumble]

My 1D-related fic faves of 2019

I've read a TON of great fic this year in all kinds of fandoms, Jeeeeeeeeeesus, there are so many talented writers out there, but I won't list it all here (or even list everything I bookmarked this year). Instead, I'm gonna stick with 1D-related works released in 2019 that pulled me in hard and made me stare at the wall and/or read again and/or scream about with other people, and I'll try to do it in cutesie number order because WHY NOT make it that extra level of arbitrary, lmao. I love fanfic because no matter what fandom I'm dipping in, something new is gonna jump up and kill me (this year in particular, I've subscribed to a lot of "new to me" writers that I LOVE, and I hope you know who you are [do you know who you are, etc.]). Thank you for the free gifts, for your time, for your blood, sweat, and tears! I owe you hugs, coffee, and my undying love, gratitude, and support! I'll put my list under the cut to avoid some v. v. real screen scroll rage--happy new year, y'all!

2 lactation kink fics

(aka the Jaerie category, nobody else is out there writing this even as Harry's tits get bigger and milkier and why am I the only one fully appreciating all of it?????)

I Think You're Already Home, by jaerie, Seeing Louis Tomlinson today, it would be hard to guess that he was ever once a member of the world's most famous boyband. These days he doesn't even the leave his own house. The truth is he can't leave his own house. (a December gift to remember for all of us! a/b/o dynamics, famous Louis, omega Harry--which is practically canon at this point--crippling agoraphobia, lactation-related sexiness, I would read at least ten (10) more chapters of this)

freaks from the internet, by jaerie. Harry sells his breast milk to freaks on the internet. Louis turns out to be one of those freaks. He also happens to be Harry's ex. (I legit can't believe this came out this year, I rec it all the time! it was anon for forever, and I was low-key obsessed because I just wanted mawrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr of it, and I got it, thank CHRIST)

3 fics for meeeeeeee

(These works were gifts to me, and I am so truly hashtag blessed to receive!!!)

I Just Wanna Taste It, by @homosociallyyours​. In his mind it's watermelon and sticky strawberry sweet, and he craves the feeling of his own round, firm belly warm under his hands on a summer evening. (Megan loves to kill me with Harry mpreg imaginings, and this one feels like canon to me!)

Powerless (and I Don't Care It's Obvious), by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain​. He should not be getting turned on by Harry’s full-bladder discomfort, his little twitches, his hips-stuttering. And yet. (AND YET!!! I don't even know where to start with how much I love Phoenix, what a treasure her work is in ANY fandom, how shitty this particular fandom has been to her, how much I'm gonna miss harry/louis fic gifts from her in the future, how HOT this pee kink fic is in general, dot dot dot)

Tuxedo Classic Dance Party, by Blake/ @newleafover​. Instead of flying out to meet his touring boyfriend in Madrid, Louis sticks around to be responsible and do things like dance at Lady Gaga night at the gay cowboy club in West Hollywood. (Blake has written at least five fics in various fandoms that I would say are my favorite fics of all time, but they really topped themselves with this one!)

4 fic series

(I feel like there are probably loads more that qualify, but these ones grabbed me in their own particular way)

Not That Gone, by abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow​. Louis’s 20-year high school reunion takes a turn when a celebrity classmate – who also happens to be Louis’s long unrequited crush – unexpectedly shows up. (this was inspired by Chris Evans, and both parts stand on their own, tbh)

Maybe I Miss You, by 13ways. Louis is on his way back to London after the Hits Live Birmingham concert. Harry is flying to New York for the Met Gala. They connect. (from the very first story in this series, I was HOOKED, canon angst that builds up to something truly wonderful)

There's something I want to try..., by TheMagicWord. Harry wants to try something. Louis's not convinced. Until he is. (the installments are super short, super hot)

One More Time Again, by orphan_account. On the morning of his second sold-out performance at Madison Square Garden, Harry wakes up to find that he's sixteen years old, on The X Factor, and that he has a chance to make things right. (I'm sad that this author orphaned, but I seem to recall her getting a TON of shit, which is unfortunate because this is a great read, and part two is an imagining where Louis goes back instead)

5 fics featuring holidays

(These ones are basically from Christmas and Halloween of this year, so quite recent!!)

once bitten and twice shy, by @pinkcords​. In a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. (the notes on this one blew me away: first-time author, pinch-hitting for a fest, and damn, a knock out)

you've set my soul to dreaming, by we_are_the_same. Thirty-year-old Harry Styles goes to bed single on Christmas Eve, only to wake up on Christmas morning with a husband in his bed and a son down the hall. (I'm not always into this trope, but when it's done well? NICE, and this one did it well)

when half spent was the night, by @juliusschmidt​. I’ve skimmed your website and am interested in hiring you to be my doula. I’m 7 ½ months pregnant and not keen to do this whole labor and birth thing alone. After looking around, I thought you might be a good fit. (girl direction advent fic with pregnant Louis that’s incredibly well done, especially given how short it is, I was so sad to see it end, but the author says something about act II coming??? YES!!!)

Fictober 2019 Collection, by flowercrownfemme/ @lesbianiconharrystyles​. Features lots of monsters and creatures and Harry Styles being a general nightmare as well as a few Girl Direction drabbles and a timestamp for Fool For You and one for Treat Mothman With Kindness. (Chloe's Halloween drabbles, each of which could outrival other stories 4x the length...she's a GIFT)

Cat & Mouse, by jaerie. It's the one day out of the year that Harry doesn't have to hide and can be himself — at least he thought so. Louis is just a little more observant than he anticipated. (I'm not a big hybrid fic fan, BUT GOD THIS STORY IS SO GOOD, it's so short I wanna cry, but so good!!!)

6 a/b/o fics

(I can handle "traditional" a/b/o if it gives me my dose of omega Harry, but I absolutely adore "untraditional" a/b/o, you know, where it actually is NOT about straight dynamics being put on a m/m or f/f couple (excuse me, a/a or o/o)...these ones NAIL IT, as did the entire gaybo ficfest)

violence of my own touch, by 14hrflight/ @silverfoxlouis​. Louis hasn’t said anything, but Harry knows something is wrong. Harry’s rut had ended a few days ago, and Louis had kept him under as best as he could. (whenever I read Chi's alpha/alpha fics, I find myself internally screaming "CHI!!!" god, do they Get It, and I really hope they continue this one!)

Amor Victorious, by HappyPrincess/ @pattern-pals​. Louis finds himself following Harry on a journey through Italy, complete with long train rides, greasy food, naked Christs, and too many lingering touches. They're definitely not like other tourists and he definitely doesn't have a crush on his best friend who happens to be an alpha, too. (this one came out during Thanksgiving week, so I held it to savor, and BOY, DID I SAVOR, it's so incredible, the gorgeous writing, the visceral, indescribable feeling of reading it, sighhhhhhh)

do you know me by heart, by HappyPrincess/ @pattern-pals​. Harry comes back wearing alphas' scents, a pleased smile and a lace dress. Somehow, Louis still ends up making him come until he cries. (for me personally, 2019 was the year of Nina: getting to know them, catching up on all their writing, falling in love with the way they can kill us all with beautiful angst and the hint and hope of redemption...here's a tissue, you'll need it!!)

the way that you're thrilling me, by @hereforlou​. Alphas were smelly and cocky and mostly arseholes, in Harry’s experience. Or at least they were at school. He didn’t understand how his friends—lovely, soft-skinned, sweet-smelling omegas—could actually want to touch them, or be touched by them. (this is just one of the many, MANY faves I had from the gaybo ficfest, A+ all around)

Constant Debauchery, by Blake/ @newleafover​. Harry is an alpha who loves getting his mouth knotted by other alphas. Louis is happy to serve. Fun smut! But also angst and sexual awakenings. (Blake knows how to sum up their writing, lol, but YEAH, me as at least one of the comments both public and private saying they'd want to read 100k more of this)

how many nights did I crash against the waves, by Blake/ @newleafover​ Louis is going into heat and Harry thinks it's hot. (the SKILL of writing something that's 1.7k, yet builds a complete--and v. v. hot--world)

7 fics with Harry and someone else

(I still have a few I need to read in this category--I'm getting there! But these are some from my fave authors that really had me pondering some walls [heh])

I Want Your Belly, by @glasscushion​. Harry wants Adam to knock him up. Inspired by on-stage thirst, the Instagram Stories Shirt, Watermelon Sugar, and Harry’s persistent baby fever. (Adam/Harry, mpreg kink of the finest order!!)

Rachel, Nevada, by @vondrostes​. Harry has a close sexual encounter of the fourth kind. (Jeff/Harry, Rachel/Harry, and I honestly can't even BEGIN to describe this, holy WOW)

Sea Salt, by @glasscushion​. Nick's drunk, and he can't avoid his feelings forever. Set in 2013 and 2019. (Nick/Harry, rip gryles...the grylers I know had an absolute field day in terms of angst, damn!)

all my lies are safe beside you now, by HappyPrincess/ @pattern-pals​. They both know what it was like to love Louis Tomlinson fiercely, irrevocably, ghosts of it on their skin, even if the traces were etched in vastly different ways. (Zayn/Harry, and FOR REAL, this is a huge ouch)

call me anything you like, but my name is, by @wishforwishes​. Some conversations are better left forgotten, some conversations are worth remembering, and some conversations you never get the chance to have. Featuring three mentors, two tea parties, one and a half recording studios, and a reference to Archie comics. (Harry/CHASM, essentially; LISTEN, I am obsessed with this fic, you don't need to read part one to really Get It, but the bits with Zayn, and James/Ben, and all the parts with Harry working through gender? SO GODDAMNED REAL)

Come Out and Play, by @dinosaursmate​. Harry and Louis discover a new kink in their relationship, and it brings all the boys closer than they could have ever imagined. (ot5 orgy, so not really Harry with anyone so much as everyone with everyone, and let's call this one canon)

Like a Rolling Stone, by @vondrostes​. By the end of it, Nick realised his tea had gone cold in his hand. He’d barely taken a single sip in the hour-plus he’d been sat there, unmoving, transfixed by Harry’s songs—haunted by the knowledge of what had inspired them. (Nick/Harry, rip gryles)

8 canon fics

(This was a VERY hard category to narrow down, but yeah, a big push this year from "newer" writers = lots of nuanced fic)

Per Aspera, by @sedfierisentio​. Louis’s throat feels tight, his heart like a hammer in his chest. You know my rot, he thinks, and I know yours. I love you still. (these achingly beautiful time stamps are centered around taste, and if this fic has taught me anything, it's that buying an author a coffee has a ripple effect)

A Nullo Amato, by @sedfierisentio​. Inspired by Harry carrying books around outside LAX, a canon-compliant, Canon AU fic set between 2014 and 2015; mostly, timestamps roped together by a common theme—literature. (this was removed four years ago and reposted, so maybe it's a cheat??? i don't care, it was brand-new to me and a lot of other people, I'm so glad the author shared it again!)

no love like your love, by @dykes4louis​. A collection of tumblr drabbles. (Hima is REALLY burying the lede on this one because each of these is short and SCORCHING, her skill, check out her other works, too!)

Dancing in My Dreams, by @kingsofeverything​. Louis doesn't mean to imply that Harry's too old to dance for him, but Harry takes it that way, and sets out to prove him wrong. (this is one that *could* go in the series pile, but I love it as a standalone...feels like canon to me, regardless!)

Sonic Sounds, by @glasscushion​. "Harry takes a deep breath, suitably embarrassed, “I’m just really...” and he can’t say the obvious. He can’t just say "really wet." Or Harry loves feeling embarrassed. Louis is happy to help. (I'll never look at those One Direction electric toothbrushes quite the same way again)

Bruised Fruit, by @glasscushion. Louis is obsessed with the way Harry smells in the heat of LA. (hey, you know what, me, too, bitch, you ain't special...the way this fic SMELLS, my god, I"m obsessed)

be my once in a lifetime, by HappyPrincess/ @pattern-pals. Just like there are only four other people who will ever understand what it’s like growing up in One Direction, there’s only one other person who knows what it’s like to find your soulmate just before you’re thrown into the spotlight and forced to acknowledge that the both of you have too many flaws and vices to make it through fame together. Or: It's all about having sex and being sad. And drunk. (can u believe Nina wrote this before Fine Line???)

in this dress, by cabinbythesea. Louis is so lost in his eyes and his words he feels if a step above heaven exists, it has to be Harry. Loosely inspired by Harry’s dress from the director’s cut of Lights Up. (I sure hope we see even more fic inspired by every bit of this album/every video it produces)

9 fics by Phoenix/ @alienfuckeronmain

(This fandom doesn't deserve her, and I hope everyone's reading her other works because they're all so amazing, she's such an incredibly gifted writer, my fave of faves, my life is so much brighter with her in it...I could rec her all goddamned day, and I do slash will!!! Here are nine she cranked out this year, each one a gem in its own way)

Silver White Winters. In which Louis catches a cloud and pins it down, aka, a Sound of Music AU (the shittiness in the comments underlines why we can't have nice things, but jesus CHRIST, this is so pure and good, and she cranked it out in, like, two hours)

I don't do that dance. Harry is easily the worst ballet dancer in her whole Intro to Ballet class. Except maybe Taylor Swift. (I adore how Phoenix writes girl Harry, but the way she writes Taylor? Unparalleled...nails her perfectly!)

magic, madness, heaven, sin, by @kerasines. It’s the flashing lights painting colors on her eyelids, it’s the drumming bass competing with her heartbeat. It’s the manic energy rippling through the crowd in waves, the deafening, frenzied passion filling the stadium that remind Eleanor that she actually used to like going to concerts. (technically, this one is FOR Phoenix, from Kim, but it takes a pairing that Phoenix is making her very own, so I'm counting it, lol)

Snakes and Stones. If you call a girl a snake enough, sometimes she becomes one. Her legs lengthen and fuse, her pupils shrink to slits. She gets colder and colder, until she has to spread herself on the warm cement beside the pool, soaking in heat, sipping gin and tonics to warm her blood so she does not turn to ice and shatter to bits. (god, I'm blanking on this ship name, but El/Taylor is such an inspired pairing, and I hope that P's drabbles make it over to ao3 in full)

Something good (will come from here). Taylor does not answer, because she is too busy licking her lips and pitching forward, as if Eleanor is the sky, or the sea. (you can practically SMELL this fic, El/Taylor drabble)

I Must Confess (I Still Believe). Harry is the new girl at an all girl Catholic Girl's School, and Louis is the unattainable, dashing senior who changes her forever. (this fic breaks my heart, the entire experience of its production and aftermath will forever be bittersweet, a gorgeous swansong)

Only One at the Finish Line. “I want to be another alpha’s omega,” is what he says, and it comes out like something reckless, something wild. Like he doesn't care anymore if Louis hates him or not, if Louis understands, he just needs to speak his truth aloud to darkness, to the slender pines that surround them like a jury panel. (Phoenix was the gaybo mod, and this was her contribution, and it is PERFECTION PERSONIFIED, fest goals)

The Pink Ghost of Princess Park. The thought of the vibrator does not go away. It’s sitting there collecting dust all through January, and every time Harry and Louis have to leave town for a press event or a show or to record or what have you, they come back home, and it’s still there, the Pink Ghost of Princess Park, the fucking glittery haunting that Harry cannot stop thinking of Louis stuffing up his arse. (a very good year in general for Princess Park clapbacks)

Life Saver. Louis is a sweetheart punk with a theater background and a heart of gold, Harry is an inexperienced nerd who plays by the rules. Classmates, lab partners, and eventually friends, what happens when Louis knows he’s in love, but doesn’t know how tell Harry? (this one came out a year ago tomorrow, and it had a tough birthing process, but it's so good, so hot, my love for virgin Harry gettin’ it on knows no bounds)

10 AU fics

(yes, yes, this could be LOADS longer, but I’m sticking to my theme!)

breathless for an eternity, by cabinbythesea. Harry conquers double duty on SNL and Louis wishes he was Nick Jonas. (dangggg, this came out too late for me to rec it along with my other snl-related fic, but it joins that lofty canon!)

Pretty Baby, by @littlelouishiccups. Louis helps Harry unwind after a busy week. (I was NOT expecting a new chapter in the iconic sugar baby Harry series, but HERE WE ARE)

into another (another) serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo. Sweet first time sex wherein Harry's adorably awkward, Louis is achingly cool, and Harry rides Louis wearing his jersey. (this is one of my all-time fave fics, and I'm not sure what changed in it to get it reposted, but yeah, HERE FOR IT, THANK YOU!!!)

'Sup, by @mediawhorefics. All Louis wants is to finish the play he’s been commissioned to write, but one of the regulars at his local coffee shop keeps distracting him. ft. older larry, pushy gemma, harry being a disaster gay and silver fox louis. (this is so short but so tantalizing, GOD, DO I WANT MORE OF THIS UNIVERSE)

Tan Lines and Some Memories, by twoshipstiedup. Harry Styles is the indie movie darling he’d been avoiding ever since Louis saw his movie at Cannes and harbored an unreasonable grudge against him. A unicorn t-shirt finally brings them together in person. (I honestly thought we'd get more unicorn shirt fic, but this is a wonderful standard-bearer, banter city)

Bitter Tangerine, by purpledaisy/ @daisyharry. Nine months after they break up, a twist of fate brings Harry and Louis back together at Christmas. (so much ouch in this, but wow, do you feel like you're reading fully realized, realistic, growing characters)

We're Driving in Your Fast Car, by @sadaveniren. Harry felt himself light up - both with excitement and the thrill of getting what he wanted. “Really?” “Of course, anything for you." aka Louis and Harry are car thieves about to pull off a million dollar job. (another one I'd love to read more of...how did they get here, where are they going, etc.)

remember you well, by @fondleeds. Harry’s a criminal, Louis’ a cop, and they’re stranded overnight at the Motel 6. (what's with me and my love of heist/caper fics this year?)

Tied Down, by HamPalpert/ @ham-palpert. The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated. (SEE ABOVE, JESUS, I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC...ALL...THE.......TIME)

Harry Styles Cooks..., by sunsetmog. Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them. (yeah, it's a wip, yeah, I flatline every time it updates, what of it, I'm living my best life vicariously through it!!)

[ice-cream-beat]

Title: Dreaming of You

Author: 深山 Circle: ETERNITE

Series: Tales of Zestiria Main characters: Sorey, Alisha, Mikleo; also some Lailah and Edna Ships: Sorey/Alisha

Content rating: G Warnings: Spoilers, also a bit of a tearjerker imho Pages: 16 Ease of reading: you don’t even need to read | super easy | know some grammar first | tricky | advanced | this was really heckin hard

Summary: 

(High school AU ayyyy)

Sorey and Mikleo are at school, and Sorey looks exhausted. Mikleo guesses that he’s still having trouble sleeping and suggests he go to a hospital to get his insomnia checked out, but Sorey dejectedly refuses, finally saying that he doesn’t think the issue is physical.

Mikleo looks concerned and suddenly asks if Sorey believes in remembering one’s past life--which makes Sorey laugh and wonder if Mikleo’s also been missing sleep. Mikleo gets defensive and insists he’s being serious, but Lailah and Edna interrupt and indicate that he come with them. Reluctantly, Mikleo does so and promises to get back to Sorey later.

Elsewhere, Edna criticizes Mikleo for that “past lives” line, but Mikleo argues that the situation is no longer about Sorey “being a slow case,” as his body is at its limit and the lack of sleep is bound to hurt him if it continues. Edna explains that while Mikleo was probably correct in thinking Sorey’s faulty memory is the cause of his insomnia, attempting to make him remember his past life against his will is dangerous. She adds that the aforementioned cause can’t currently be found, and that it’s meaningless, anyway, if Sorey can’t recall what it is himself--although she’s already figured out what it is. Lailah says she has, as well, but Mikleo’s dumbfounded because he has no idea what it is lol.

Lailah assures them both that things will be alright, since Sorey’s missing “cause” recently enrolled in their school and she spoke with “her” earlier, someone who’s also lost her memory like Sorey has. Lailah encourages Mikleo and Edna to believe in the power of Sorey’s and Alisha’s bond.

Sorey eventually gets up to leave. He bumps into someone in the hall and they both apologize, but he freezes up when he sees that it’s Alisha. She explains that she just moved to town and promises to be more careful; when she realizes he’s staring at her, he assures her it’s fine and quickly goes to leave, wondering why he’s been seized by such a strange feeling. Almost immediately, he passes out.

While unconscious, he dreams he’s talking to Mikleo, who looks like he does in the game’s epilogue. In his narration, Sorey’s confused that Mikleo’s an adult, but dream!Sorey is talking with him and insisting that he hasn’t “changed his mind” about something. Mikleo teases him, saying he’s surprised that the first thing out of Sorey’s mouth wasn’t “let’s go explore some ruins,” but admits that Sorey’s always been full of surprises. Mikleo leads him through a ruin filled with tombs, noting Rose’s and Sergei’s, and mentions that the one they’re looking for is further in. Sorey wonders if it’s really okay for it to be out in the middle of nowhere, but Mikleo tells him it’s what “she” wanted, because “she” wanted to see the ruins. They come upon a grave on an open hillside decorated with Alisha’s lance.

(Surprise not really a high school AU ayyyy)

Back in the present, Sorey wakes up in the nurse’s office. Alisha comes to check on him and says she’s glad he’s okay, and that Rose and Dezel-sensei helped after he passed out, and Zaveid-sensei called the doctor--but Sorey interrupts by sitting up and suddenly hugging her. She’s embarrassed and confused, but he says that he remembers everything now.

“I remembered... I remembered all of it. How could I forget something so important? Alisha and Rose and Sergei... by the time I woke up, all the humans I'd known were gone. Mikleo and Lailah and Edna... and Zaveid... I met them again, and they were all so happy. I found my conviction before I went to sleep, but... it didn't help at all. I never, ever forgot those feelings of regret and helplessness. So I..."

Meanwhile, in his narration: "I finally understand. The reason I couldn't sleep until now... was because waking to a world without you was terrible."

Alisha admits she doesn’t know exactly what he’s talking about, but then hugs him back and promises that she isn’t going anywhere--and says his name for the first time. This surprises him and he asks if she also got her memory back, but she admits that the name just came out of her mouth without thinking.

Sorey realizes she has a while to go before she also remembers, and instead asks if he can make one request: that she sits beside him while he sleeps. She cheerfully agrees to do so and holds his hand. They exchange "goodnights," and the last line is Sorey asking what she wants to talk about when he wakes up.

Impressions:

what I expected when I saw the cover: “aw cute fluffy coffee shop AU probably!”

what I got: CHEST PAINS AND TEARS

First off, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I heckin’ love when Mikleo gets these little moments to shine, even when the story isn’t strictly about him. The idea that he’d try to bend the rules to protect Sorey is just  👌 👌 👌 👌 YES, I love these bros so much and I would die for them and this doujinshi just nailed it perfectly ugh my feelings

Edna also gets a special mention, since she was a bit soft despite her teasing Mikleo a couple times and her attempts to look apathetic on the matter. <3

Anyhow, onto the main characters lol

It’s not completely explained, but I think the point of the premise is that everyone has been reborn into this modern/high school setting, and dreaming is their way of recovering their memory of their past (canon) lives. Sorey subconsciously resisted, because at the point he’d reached in his dreams, Alisha was dead and gone and he couldn’t handle it.

YEAH THIS HURT ME. I was legit getting upset when Sorey was explaining how lonely he felt lskjdfhnnggghhh I didn't ask for this. It pulled some LOST-level plot twist there at the end (except, you know, actually well done) which I WAS NOT READY FOR, THANKS, and while this is actually a happy ending since they all get to be together again (THAT CASUAL DEZEL MENTION ;___; ) I'm still? really?? upset??? :’|

also HEY screw the idea that Mikleo was involved in burying all their human friends t h a n k s  I  h a t e  i t

there's only... one other doujinshi, I think, that left me this shook, so yeah y'all can look forward to that

hnghhh but emotions aside, I really liked it! very nice art, good twist, excellent characterizations all around, also Sergei got some love which was nice!! (is he the overzealous drill-sergeant-of-a-coach in the high school AU, I wonder...)

This was one doujinshi I had to overpay a bit for via a mediator site (~$28 iirc, which... isn't terrible, but it's still scalping :T ) and then found for half the price elsewhere later on rip but it was worth it! 10/10, highly recommend, would cry again.

....I’ll probably think of this doujin every time I use the high school costumes in-game now great

[takaraphoenix]

Shadowhunters Finale Review

...I can’t even summarize my thoughts properly right now because I am just so wildly exhausted and disappointed and frustrated, so here’s the unfiltered running commentary I made during the two-parter, sorted by characters and due to length beneath the cut:

On Jonathan:

Jonathan back at it again, killing flowers. ~puuure eeeviiil~ (Sorry. Still not over Jocelyn being a fucking dickhead who is ready to murder her son over one dead flower he killed as a toddler...)

...I just... I'm so tired of what they did with Jonathan? When they set him up as Sebastian Verlac, he seemed to layered, but this season, they are completely reducing him to the Incest Boi whose only motivation is “Clary doesn't love me enough!” and absolutely no one has even half a fuck to give about everything he has suffered...? Every abuse that is driving him and forged him...?

He could have been such a layered character. I'm not even talking redemption wise, to use the abuse to make him A Good Boi, but he could have been such an interesting villain, there could have been so much to him. This is stupid and sad.

But I am chocking on my laughter at the Seelie Queen literally teaching him WHAT HE COULDA BEEN TAUGHT FROM THE GET GO. To channel his powers. Granted, she channels them into killing Shadowhunters. But they could have been channeled into killing demons.

With the right parent, the right training, without living in hell and being tortured, he could have been an exceptional Shadowhunter. But let's pretend that he is Truly Inherently Evil only because of his demon blood and hey it's legit because he wants to bang his sister so who cares about this guy LOL.

HOLY SHIT THEY REALLY MADE CLARY MURDER HIM WITH A HUG. What a fucking way to go. I don't... I don't even know what to say to that to be honest.

On Clary:

WHAT THE FUCK HAS SHE DONE??

“How do I come back after everything I've done”. What. What line is that. That's the line they could have given Jace in the first episode of 3B. You know, the guy who saw his own body commit 30+ murders, among them the murder of his own grandmother.

What... What's that everything Clary has done? Dress hotter than usual? Go to a rave? Try some Seelie drugs? Sure she killed Lenaia, but that was also a chick she didn't even know and so far she's not been very traumatized by like – killing her own biological father (seriously, the writers never bothered to give her a genuine reaction to that). Way to be overdramatic, writers.

Shitty Ex Machina Rune's existence aside; WHY does the Ex Machina Rune work?? RUNES DON'T WORK ON DOWNWORLDERS. That was like a whole thing in season 1. They kill mundies and they don't work on Downworlders?? Why the fuck is Clary allowed to play – not just an angel but an actual god at this point.

(But y'all know I am going to use this shitty dumb stupid rune in so many fanfiction.)

...But like holy shit. It is so callous to have her say that she wouldn't trade the Shadow World for anything and that “and I met Jace” like he brought all light into her life when the Shadow World killed her mother. Have the writers just completely forgotten that a month ago she lost her mother, her only biological family left?? Ah but it's totally fine because she has Jace now!!! And even though we literally started the episode off with her being devastated and wondering how she will ever come back after everything she has done, they are now only half an hour later already forgetting that she has just gone through major trauma, that she murdered her own father, that she lost her mother? But oh the Shadow World is super awesome, wouldn't wanna trade those past two, utterly traumatizing months for anything!!! Not even for my mom being alive LOL! Just... do the writers even care about the characters? At all?

HOLY FUCKING GODS THEY REMEMBERED JOCELYN. FUCK THIS IS RIDICULOUS ESPECIALLY AFTER HER CONVERSATION WITH SIMON IN EDOM. I am baffled. But I am 100% behind Jocelyn's message because Clary has been a scary motherfucker all this season now with all the things she has done and the rule-breaking. Fuck yeah she shouldn't be allowed to play God, which she DOES at this point.

But like, on a scale of 1 to 10 how dumb did they have to make Clary? Out of all of the ways she could have killed Jonathan, they decided “Nah man she is totally giving up her Shadowhunter self to hug her brother to death” instead of having Miss Stabby-Stab-Stab pull out a dagger and stab him to death? She literallly just got the warning and decides “LOL nope this is how I go out”. What---

There is a huge difference between a character sacrificing themselves for the greater good because there was 100% no other way and a character somehow turning a completely manageable situation into a self-sacrifice that is completely unnecessary... She could have just stabbed him. Or, you know, captured him with a trick instead of murdering. She could have stayed a Shadowhunter without using the Deus Ex Machina runes, living like a normal Shadowhunter. But they really made her go “If I can't play god, I'd rather give up the Shadow World”.

What the fuck even was that “One Year Later”. They literally just wasted a whole year since C/ace reuniting had zero negative effect on her? She didn't combust or anything. They could have literally went after her the day of the wedding, explained amnesia to her and brought her back. But the writers had to be dramatic bitches that put Jace through hell again, huh.

And what exactly did she believe happened? Like, Jocelyn and Luke and Simon?? Basically everyone she ever knew? What did she think happened to them and to herself? She just decided to go back to art school or what? Did they even think about this ending?

Honestly. It'd have been better had they actually Donna Nobled her and said she can never remember and has to be a mundie. But this? This year gap and bullshit and C/ace looking at each other and she suddenly remembers his name because True Love Wins? That makes it even dumber.

On Jace & Meliorn: (I'm trying to give each character their own for the finale, but... I can't separate those two in this case)

THAT STARTLED LITTLE BACKING OFF JACE DOES WHEN MELIORN TAKES IT TO THE BEDROOM. If that wasn't a coming on from Meliorn, I don't know what is. I am definitely living for this little bit of Jeliorn because that was a ship I was sure I'd never get to see proper interactions of. So, small blessings.

Hng. Jace can't lie. How pretty. Seriously his bond with Meliorn is like the saving grace from all of this. And how much fun Meliorn is having with this. Oh my gods my shipper heart is soaring.

SERIOUSLY I AM LIVING FOR THIS. “A serious question. How handsome do you think I am?” WHY WOULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT. Because you want to let my shipper-heart beat some. Thank you, Meliorn, personally, for my life. (Not to mention the answer. A NINE?? Jace. You so pansexual and into handsome Downworlders. It's canon now and I am blessed.)

I'm just absolutely living for Jace getting to interact with a non-Clary and a non-Alec (especially since all of his Alec-interactions this half-season have only been about Ma/ec...). It's... so refreshing to see them use Jace as... a character... instead of a prop. Even if he's played as a comic relief, I am taking so much more from this.

(ALSO: Jimon sparring! Jimon sparring and JACE BOOPING SIMON'S NOSE WHAT THE FUCK.)

On Alec:

What's with Maryse telling him to “take time to mourn”? What the fuck is that? XD He has literally been in Edom and gone back too. There's always been ways in and out. You're sure fast to bury him.

But also, maybe Alec should focus on the way to bring Magnus back instead of planning this fucking stupid wedding. You'd need your groom first.

Tonight. They're literally... I am weeping at how stupid this is. They got engaged yesterday and are getting married today. I had... actual, dumb hopes that the wedding would happen after a time skip. But I forgot this show doesn't know what time is. Ahahaha. Hilarious.

But holy shit am I angry about him being all dodgy and asking Maryse's permission to invite his own father to his wedding. Like. I am very rationally angry about the fact that all the kids sided with their abusive mother over their father, but that they are really all just treating him like that now is insane. Sure, he cheated on their mother, but he is still their father?? He has still been their father and he has been the good parent. If you can forgive Maryse's abuse just like that, how do you hold Robert cheating on Maryse over him like that? This is absolutely insane. What kind of priorities do those writers have to fuck it up this badly? Like the “oh no dad cheated on you let us all comfort you and totally forget the shitty way you have been treating your children!!!” wasn't bad enough on its own, but that they are completely acting like Robert was not just the cheating husband but somehow also the bad parent now? If this is where the show wanted to end it, they should have from the get-go also written him as the bad parent and her as the good parent, then I'd understand this, I'd understand the taking sides thing, the way they all completely turned away from Robert, the way Maryse blossomed and turned into an entirely different character. That ALL would make sense IF they hadn't decided in the first season and in 2B to write Robert as the warm rather and Maryse as the cold and abusive mother. The starting points and end points don't match.

On Magnus:

Magnus. On that throne. In that light. Now that's a look, to be honest.

Also, awkward conversations with the stepmother are very amusing. :D” (But, honestly, Anna and Harry playing off each other is really great. They play the power-dynamic really fascinating.)

Magnus being like “Well no need to close the door if we burn down the place right?” is a mood. It's so stupid and ridiculous, but like it's right. XD”

I'm glad Magnus at least said thank you to Lorenzo and even invited him to the wedding.

I genuinely don't know how to react to “High Warlock of Alicante” to be honest. Like. I don'T know what to say to that.

On Maia:

...I'd like to live in the alternate reality where Maia was more than just her relationships to boys. I'm still let down by the fact that the one (1) badass shot she got in the trailer was literally her walking away from Jordan's funeral fire, with her other ex and her future boyfriend flanking her from either side. If that doesn't summarize this show, I don't know what does.

And while I admire her decision to reconnect with her parents, it also seems rather messed up considering she literally just decided to be The Alpha. So let's leave the pack that has suffered so many recent losses... all alone. That's... not exactly Alpha behavior, even if it is the right thing for her as an individual at that point.

I mean like yeah sure she came back to become an Alpha, but still it's—a weird choice.

BAT BAT EXISTS BAT IS THERE I LOVE BAT HE GOT TO SPEAK. I am so so salty that he didn't get developed properly, that his relationship with Maia didn't get fully fleshed out.

On Isabelle & Simon:

Isabelle as the Human Torch is sure a very nice visual, to be honest.

(ALSO HELEN! HELEN! HELEN! I am 200% sure I can ship Aline/Helen/Isabelle in peace now. Don't @ me.) Though explain to me why Helen doesn't get the fuck away from Isabelle ASAP after realizing that Downworlders turn Isabelle into basically a bomb? I mean, she is half-Seelie.

...and can everyone maybe focus on “Izzy now catches fire when she is touching Downworlders” instead of “SHE WAS KISSING SIMON!!!”...? Like, priorities, dudes?

And how did she conclude “I explore when I touch demon blood. I should totally go to Edom! The place where demons live!”... and act like that should totally “”shield”” her from the atmosphere? What... logic goes into that? I'm serious, someone explain to me why “I explode when I come in contact with demonic stuff” leads to “but I'ma be extra safe in hell where all demonic things live and the very atmosphere should be demonic!!!”...

And Simon and Isabelle... kiss once... like... literally once and the next time they get a moment of being shown alone they literally already fucked. This show... knows that... you can actually go on dates and have a relationship with... oh no never mind this show has never heard the word “pacing” before I forgot sorry LOL

On Luke:

...But like why did his runes return though. I mean, getting turned into a Downworlder like... burned the runes away. They were gone. Why would him no longer being a Downworlder also immediately reapply all of his runes.

I don't know if I really like this, to be quite honest. I don't feel like we know enough about Luke for me to know what to feel about this? Like, he said he didn't want to be alpha and he's been turned against his will sure, but he's been a wolf for like 20 years now. It's... I don't know what to feel on this. Like, he seems really happy about this, but it also feels incredibly cheap due to the show never actually focusing on his thoughts and feelings??

Okay no now that I'm through with it I actually actively hate it. He should have become mundie. Erase it all. Let him live a mundie life with Clary.

On Lorenzo:

I love how Lorenzo brings up the Downworld Council. SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WONDERING ABOUT TOO. What the fuck happened to that. But nope, SoRrY Lorenzo you are just here to save Magnus. Again. (Others too, but still. It's once again for selfish reasons of helping the Shadowhunters with shit.)

I really like where they took his character. I thought he was just going to be a shallow prop to take Magnus down. Petty and empty. But that they actually give him growth and personality and a personal goal and that they also made him rekindle with Magnus after admitting what he truly wants? That was... actually good. That was more than I ever expected from those writers. Huh.

ALSO FUCK ME I AM 100% BEHIND LORENZO/UNDERHILL.

On Max:

MAAAAX!!! MAX WITH GLASSES! MAX BEING PRECIOUS! He is literally the only thing about episode 22 that I liked. Like that entire final episode was a fucking shit-show.

On Raphael:

Honestly at this point just fuck this show. It is his father’s wedding and he is a mundane. But let’s just have him interact with his ex and her new guy so he can give them his blessing instead of having him actually interact with Magnus.

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

.

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

.

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

.

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

.

Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

.

Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

.

Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

.

The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

.

The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

[seenashwrite]

14.08 Round-Up

NOW THAT IS HOW YOU START AN EPISODE. Boom, baby.

(But, he ain't dead, we know he ain't dead, everybody pump your bonfire brakes.)

Mary doesn't answer, quelle shock.

You know, I appreciate it, but lumberjackin' now that the beard's retired? Hmmmph.

I... I agree with getting knee-walkin' drunk, I just... there's... there's a.... y'all got a corpse down yonder... this song is not what I would've chosen.

I dig the Overlook Hotel: Version Goo action. Hey somebody point me to the gifs of the dollar store Terminator rise from last week, will ya?

IT'S YA GIRL - I've made clear my love for Lily Sunder. I also love Alicia Witt. I happen to like this character actress, too, though. So. Okay. All right.

.

.

AND OUR EXPOSITION ANVIL WINNER IS DEAN! Thank you, writers. The "Then" covered it. The Kevin/Donatello part was necessary but chasing that first dog... woof.

Jesus wept, if you have to get this convoluted with your plot in order to fix past plot, and not-in-the-distant-past plot, I mean in-the-immediate-past plot, then YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT PLOT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Not without a streamlined plan. And this ain't streamlined.

Anubis [rolls eyes] Oh, fucking fine.

"Sorry long story" ---- Cas I love you, and hard. Lack of exposition makes me tingly in my no-no places. This almost makes up for the anvil.

Hello Kelly actress who is awesome and was underused but I'm told is being used quite well on that other show! Not gonna lie - I love that they're getting to meet, I do. Kelly's a good mom.

That's Leviathan goo, yo. And if it's not.... do they even canon? I get it's probs Empty goo. Still. That there's Leviathan goo.

SHE'S POSSESSED WHY IS SHE NOT FRIED IF YA BOY'S OVER THERE FRIED... Cas you trusting dumbass... I mean, if she ain’t possessed, then oh writers #bless 

Shut up, Naomi... "I thought you were old friends, nyah meh myah neeeeeuuuhhh"

Stop cutting your palms, TV people. Forearms.

That's excellent - that we decide. I dig it. Well played.

.

.

Spoke too soon - CONFETTI ANVILS FOR CAS! Naomi just said all this - was there not a smoother way to have this accomplished without it being back-to-back? A “Come on, I know why you’re here and where Jack is, I’ll explain when we get there” and then, y’know, explain it to all parties right then?

SHE'S YOUR “SHADOW” YA DUMBFUCKS [moments later] ::sigh::

Hey, why aren't we calling it The Entity anymore? That has a better, more ominous ring to it than "The Shadow". I mean, that's a literary term for such a character. So it's... redundant. And something a kid would call a spooky character, besides.

Man, I *really* like this actress, she has got the insidious psychopath thing doooooooown, holy moses, I'm a fan. I'm a big fan. They won't let her live, so we'll never see her again, which is a shame because-----HOLY SHIT THEY DIDN'T KILL HER.  I am legit grinning from ear-to-ear. They'll squander her. **whispers** Please don't squander her.

Wait, what deal did Cas make? That The Entity will get him sooner than planned? I missed it somehow. I think there was a little doggy drama at this point.

Aaaaaand of course they killed Lily. But I freaking love this. I kinda love Anubis now. I like the actor for sure.

"Say hello to your daughter for me" --- I honestly got tearful, be still my black heart.

What the shit is up with Naomi? How does she manage to keep on keepin' on? And Michael's in Dean's ascending colon, we've covered this, wherever Naomi - the supes trustworthy and totally successful at the shit she’s always tried to do [snort] Naomi - thinks he is, he’s not.

N-No.... no, Kaia found you. But semantics, shemantics.

Good ep.

[moments pass]

GARTH!

.

To wrap up, we need to talk writing for a second, feel free to tap out if you don't care.

But we gotta talk about this, because they're gonna have a major Chekov's Gun situation, here, if they don't do what I'm about to say:

The only way this could cohesively play out now------

and I ain't saying it will, because of Dabb and Singer and Buckleming, The Backwoods Brain Trust

------is that the Entity is the ace in the hole for defeating Michael.

Why, Nash? -- Glad you asked.

For those unfamiliar, Chekov said (and I'm paraphrasing) that if you make a point to describe a gun hanging on the wall in the room in the first chunk of your story, you must bring it up again, and it better be for a good reason, otherwise why the fuck did you bring it up in the first place?

So we must ask ourselves: What was the point of Jack losing his grace to Luci? I would submit so Lucifer wasn't really dead. Is that accurate? Remains to be seen. But for sure we now know that at least one part of the point was for him to get sick, and die, and be an excuse to get The Entity (I'm not calling it "The Shadow", see above, re: stupid) back on the field.

But what about the Kaia-super special wtf is it made of God's fossilized jizz spear thing, Nash? -- Glad you asked.

Welp, not really, because fuck if I know. I don't mind Kaia being in the mix, I already spoke on how much that rocked not just during the WS pilot but spoke of it again in the ep where she returned, that actress is phenomenal and the character's got a ton of potential.

What I'm getting at, is: if The Entity isn't somehow integral in the Michael arc - which is supposed to be the major arc of the season, despite us having spent, collectively, about forty-five minutes on him - then what in the hell was the point?

So if they're playing the long game like seasonal shows are supposed to, keeping things articulated like a nicely polished skeleton (it's a bump-in-the-night show, hence the choice of analogy #you love it), then that's the only connective thread that makes sense.

Oh, and they also better say that Lucifer targeted Nick and ordered Abraxas to kill his family to make him vulnerable. They pussed out by not making it that Nick killed his family. That would've been *chef's kiss*

There, I'm done. See ya next week!

[hexalene]

:V

So I dunno if anyone would like care But the manga does actually have an in canon explaination for Naruto's last minute “healing” abilities and Sasuke's sudden proficiency with the Rinnegan in those final battles. There's also some decent evidence for why the Senju don't have the mokuton and even why Naruto can't use it, though he could have if he wasn't a jinchuuriki. but its a whole thing and I'll probably make the post for me if nothing else. But ANYWAY I started thinking about it with those “Sakura has the Mokuton” posts…which I don't hate/dislike really but I feel like kinda misses a point about Tsunade and Sakura that was half-assedly made (so I don't blame anyone for not seeing it, or disagreeing with me) and would have been made a lot better if Sakura hadn't been so unpopular while the manga was running cause like…shonen jump sucks guys. Like it really sucks. I don't think it's a coincidence that two of the Big Three wiffled around boring fight scenes for eons before farting out an epilogue bathed in bad haircuts and heteronormative/undeveloped “families” before the creators jumped ship to just leave (bleach) or wash his hands of the property (naruto). Honestly. Cause like

Kishimoto once said that jump made him do the chuunin exams, when he'd planned on having Naruto travel around and learn stuff about the world and likely meet ppl and get ready to be a kage…I bet this is why some of the villages are so hinted and developed, cause it's likely the story was gonna GO to these places. But jump wanks hard over TOURNAMENTS and fights and anyway the chuunin exam was p awesome, so…it did work out there. The war arc….not so much. Better people than me have broken down that tho so I'm gonna talk about the thing I wanna talk about which is Tsunade and Sakura. So like…in the fight with Madara, we find out that Hashirama was OP as fuck, and could HEAL WITHOUT HANDSIGNS OMG (Madara like…drools over this srsly) and Tsunade doesn't lol about that, or Madara’s reverence, so it's clear that was like A Big Deal back in the day. And Hashirama is like…the god of god shinobi. That…is one fuckoff huge shadow to live under?? Like how do you top that? He healed, had an amazing “bloodline” ability, went up against all the bijuu like NBD, and ~changed the world~. We never learn about Tsunade's parents and honestly…I think it's because they never crawl out from Hashirama’s shadow…this is a total headcanon admittedly, but I don't think they died early, since that'd likely be a part of her trauma. But anyway. With Madara, Tsunade is like “I couldn't do what my grandfather did, so I made my OWN DAMN WAY.” And whips up the yin seal. And I hate that this came SO LATE into canon and not before because that's a COOL THING?

Like Tsunade couldn't be Hashirama so she became the Greatest Medic of All Time….thats a HELL of a way to break out of Hashirama’s shadow. And like…people will remember Hashirama as a legend but I like to think that Tsunade is more tangible as an idol for people, idk.

She made that yin seal, and I feel like she probably laid the foundation for all modern medical ninjutsu, and probably was a seal master in her own right. I wish we'd gotten more about Tsunade other than her trauma, she's fucking awesome?? The only actual Sannin, let's be real cause orochimaru is a shit and Jiraiya is a dumpster fire. But this whole shindig is supposedly about Sakura, cause I had a point about her and her character:

Sakura is like The Official Normal on the team who is always worried about being in Naruto and Sasuke's shadows and can't catch up and like…every time she's like “watch me guys I got this, I've caught up” *proceeds to fail and need help*

I was always like “IF YOU HAVE TO SAY IT THEN YOU HAVENT OKAY?? STOP WORRYING AND FIND YOUR OWN THING AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON”

Team 7 like Failed dude…I love the cute genin days but it was a failure and of all of them Sakura clings the fuck out of those days and like Never moves on (I don't think Naruto—still hated by the village and scared of rejection and ignorant about everything and living alone in a shitty apartment—or Sasuke—stewing in the hatred and lies from his brother and working for a kage who ORDERED THE MASSACRE OF HIS FAMILY….i mean even Kakashi, guilty about everything and unfulfilled and depressed...yeah they may have some fond memories but they probably aren't scrambling to go back, you know?) I legit believe her Sasuke obsession is in no small part fueled by a desire to go back to idyllic childhood days where the world wasn't complicated and the future looked bright…Sakura FLAT OUT says this in her last “”””confession””””” to Sasuke before the VOTE2 fight.

She's like those people who peaked in high school and never stop telling you how they were prom queen once and god Kaytlyyn I get it prom was a thing that mattered to you. It's why she acts so childish around Sasuke and why they'll never be a real couple She just Devolves back to being a 13 year old again and tbh I ship SNS hardcore but I DO THINK Sasuke could have loved her if she'd actually let herself grow up and act like a grown woman around him…a poke is not better than a kiss holy fuck. I CRINGE my asshole inside out whenever I see that panel where Sasuke denies her the kiss but TBH??? I would too?? If this THIRTY YEAR OLD WOMAN comes up and “tee hee”s and stares up her lashes and points her toes in like a little girl?? And then doesn't like…communicate?

THE issue that started Gaiden? SO GLAD THE SS FAMILY GOT THAT FIGURED OUT

Nor does she go for a kiss goodbye on the cheek? Or a hug? Or SAY anything? Or give him a return date to come back or we need to rethink this if only for our emotionally needy daughter? Like a Sane Person in an adult relationship?? Some wife?? She should be able to do these basic ass things without acting like a preteen?? Seriously y'all go find a thirty something year old woman and picture them acting like Sakura did in that scene…so infantilizing. I wouldn't kiss her either, damn. And we see like no sign she acts any other way with him. SASUKE DOESNT KNOW HER. And because Sakura can't act like an adult with him, she's never gotten to really know him either??? So infuriating but this isn't supposed to be anti-SS, and I mean it cause I DO THINK Sakura was supposed to do something in this story and didn't cause we needed new genin for child soldiering. I THINK SAKURA COULD HAVE ENDED THE CHILD SOLDIER PRACTICE. We see in her shinden novel that she and Ino are establishing clinics for kids and orphans and like…assessing their mental health, and then we hear like nothing of that but that might have been her revolutionary idea outside of Naruto and Sasuke's shadow cause she does it cause she sees how fucked in the head her teammates are and she had a healthy childhood and look what that did for her. DUDE she deals with SAI her best friend can walk into people's MINDS whyyyyyy???? did Sakura not get to revolutionize medicine again with mental health care?? Helping shinobi cope with trauma, proving that neglect, abandonment, trauma and war is ruining kids and contributing to the cycles of violence?? Tsunade learned to fix bodies and Sakura mastered that so why not let her discover how to help people fix their minds…and change the system that way. Look I get that this is speculation and headcanon, but it feels like that's the groundwork tentatively laid? Sakura growing up and leaving her idyllic childhood behind and changing the system with her more balanced and objective view on things since SHE had a normal childhood (in context, okay) Anyway I could spiral into like 10 different rants from this and I probably will at some point but whatever Hey tumblr I'm hexalene I'm late to the fandom and I have a lot of useless opinions

[pinkbarefacedbeauty]

Sakura and Sasuke...How?

I feel like I don't really need to go into why this doesn't make sense as most sane people have come to this consensus. He showed no interest in her at all. As teammates, he literally showed the same 'concern' for Naruto as he did Sakura whenever there was danger. As far as Chuunin exams, mind you, at the time this boy is sufferring from the curse mark and Sakura is still apart of his team and a person who was honestly coddled a lot but not all of the time. The pairing SS, legit made no sense on Sasuke's part, he didn't seem to like or care for anyone, and on Sakura's side, they legit trashed her growth and retuned her back to this obsessive fangirl around him.

Again ep.693....felt so dry. Sakura says I love you again to Sasuke.........and he again shows her that he doesn't care. Someone said he knocked her out so she wouldn't try to interfere because he loved her so much.....Y'all must be in abusive relationships. That is the equivalent to he beat my ass, strangled me almost to death ONLY twice or threatened to be my ass every time I see him, ALL so I won't be weak. It's for my own good......Like, blink if y'all need help becauseeee....really? That is your OTP?

Someone related Ssauke to Batman in a way, having been through trajedy. I understand wanting to avenge your clan and get stronger, and even denouncing the leaf which had been apart of the destruction of the Uchiha, whether they knew of it or not, but I just don't believe SS and then they have the nerve to say that SS are connected through being Sarada's parents (Boruto series), that sounds like a divorce waiting to happen. I wasn't expecting a deep and long speech about how they did in THAT specific moment, but anything! (though we do need a deeper explanation later on, just not right then). Shoo, maybe even he compliments her forehead and she mentions the first time he (actually Naruto) said that (I still feel Sakura needs to know that it was Naruto who said it first and Sasuke later on when they're alone says that he didn't say that and progress from there)....whether they choose to brush it off with a sweat drop or she actually thinks about it whatever, but let people( readers and shoo the characters) know.

If you are a SS shipper let me know if your ship is depicted how you would like in the Boruto series and ending in  general. With Sakura, (top medic-nin who  surpassed Tsunade) regressed to fangirl (still as a grown ass woman with an almost teen daughter) around Sasuke who is never home and tried to kill his daughter since he didn’t recognize her as he has been gone for so long (despite her face being almost a copy of Sakura).  ADDITIONALLY, for people saying that Sasuke HAS been around, where is the proof? I do expect that he was around for the birth as they said that Sakura was with him out of the village when she gave birth and came back with Sarada (though I wouldn’t be surprised if he was gone and Karin was the one there). If he wasn’t present during the birth and how long it was before they returned to the village, it would have made sense that Sasuke dropped his family off. HOWEVER, the only picture they have of Sasuke is in his Akatsuki robes (team taka photo), and Sakura literally just placed her and Sarada’s photos over team taka’s faces. You mean to tell me that in 12 years, not only can he not recognize his daughter’s face, the face that looks like his wife, but he hasn’t been in ANY family photos until she hits age 12-13? 

This Boruto world is so technologically advanced, why is Sarada so lonely? Why can’t he facetime her? Or call her on a cellphone? Send a shadow clone, shoo, come in person? Or even, if he is more traditional, send letters through his messenger hawk? Why is he so absent from his daughter’s life, when the two things that he vowed to do was avenge clan and repopulate Uchiha Clan (he’s done neither. The shinobi system is still the same, still producing child soldiers in this time of ‘peace’ and and he isn’t around his daughter when he know how painful loneliness is and the cycle of hate, etc. (I’ll get to why I dislike technology in the series in new post).

I can’t tell who is worse Naruto or Sasuke in this series. Sasuke missed 12 years of milestones and Naruto sent a shadow clone to his daughter’s birthday and despite living in the same village and same house, barely makes time to spend with his family and Hinata (his supposed true love and Byakugan Princess)

****If Sakura did not end up with Naruto, I don’t know how this is ‘canon’ when everything pointed this way, I wouldn’t even minded her being with let’s say Rock Lee even though they have little interaction like NaruHina (with also Lee having a crush for however amount of time that he did on Sakura), but anyone but  Sasuke. Like maybe she realizes that her love for Sasuke was ridiculous and that Naruto is just a friend and then she shows development as a businesswoman and we see lee woo Sakura. In this scenario with LeeSaku, I still wouldn’t support NaruHina if people try to make it out like Naruto was NEVER in love with Sakura, like that is pure piping hot bullshit.*****

[seenashwrite]

(1/2)I've completely lost my ability to focus right now, except for hearing Dean saying, "You're awesome, sweetheart," on a loop. I've reread your many treatises on the subject, finally finding the one where someone asked you, "If not sweetheart, then what?" You seemed to believe that he would use "baby" or "sweetiepie" because of his love of his car and pie. I would object to both of these, because I believe that, for him, both Baby and Pie are proper names. (Brother and Angel similarly so, but

Cursing my name? For reals!? 

Nah, I kid. I know it’s not hate. And I do apologize, RE: that first part - I obviously was not clear, that’s on me. ‘Cause those ain’t my recommendations. Noooo.

I wanted to convey that it was interesting to me how, putting aside that he only uses “sweetheart” sincerely for Baby & Colt, even if he was using it as an endearment for, um, living things of a twue lurve nature, well….

Dude don’t use it all that often. Not when we compare it to things he no doubt, balls-to-the-wall loves, such as the Impala and pie [and alcohol, but “my lil’ whiskey sour” don’t quite do it for tinglin’ the nethers]. Thus, it got a raised eyebrow from me, how people don’t seem to have the knee-jerk of “sweetiepie” or “babydoll”, derivatives of things he does talk about/refer to adoringly on the reg. Tell me if that’s not making sense, I’ll work on phrasing it better.

Now, having said that - imagining either of those coming out of Dean’s mouth makes me wanna throw up, go eat, throw that up, then mainline Pepto so I can do it all over again til the thought is purged from my person.

All right. Let’s build a profile on Dean’s behavior & verbiage with legitimate love interests, based on what we know from canon, then see if we can’t drill down on a plausible nickname or two.

On an aside, I titled the document containing the draft of what’s below  “Endeanments” and I hate myself.

Here’s how this breaks down in my head, so that’s how it’s laid out below. Should the Mrs. or anyone reading this wanna skip ahead, you do you. Scroll til you see the heading.

I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We KnowII. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters -  A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thingVI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing RoomVII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask VIII. Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off

And Before We Get Cranking, RE: That Other Post

So here’s the meat & potatoes of what I said when somebody asked my thoughts on what Dean would use as a genuine term of endearment:

I’d bet money that for the actual contenders [both the ones I haven’t yet researched & the nonexistents/potential true loves/soulmates/blahblahblahs], they’d most assuredly be friends first, they will not be a hunter [not a hunter proper, at least, though knowledge of is not a deal-breaker], and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that.  

I. Thing Of The First: What Do We Want & What Do We Know

This whole shebang is based upon the premise that an author gives a shit about accurate characterization of Dean within the context of a legit romantic relationship. 

We gotta have a profile in mind regarding the broad strokes of what this chick would be like if our writing of his behavior/the things he says - such as, ta-da! an endearment - is gonna ring true.

All we can know is what’s in canon, and bless the wiki and all their transcripts because no one has to re-watch all the seasons to answer this. #hallelujah  

II. Which Romantic Interests Do We Focus On?

The bed-‘em-and-book-it chicks are ruled out, see above, RE: legit love premise.

In the draft of the answer to the other Q that’s referenced in the Q linked above, I have it fleshed out more than I do here - although it’s not completely episode/quote-by-quote sourced - so if y'all wanna know the reasoning behind why I deem these four and only these four ladies of the “legit, Dean was really into them/this had the potential for true love” category, I can share it, but I can’t promise when.

I have no idea if he had an endearment for any or all of these ladies, is my point, y'all feel free to do the deep dive in that respect, 

----> ETA later: We did the deep dive. He called Lisa “Honey” when she was dying; unrelated but kind’ve, when he was pretending to be Bela’s husband and she fake-choked on shellfish (also “dying”), he called her “Honey”, too. There ya go.

I stand by these chosen few and the order in which I’ve placed them, the reasons why have to do with character autopsies I do/have done for my big story, ergo would have to be another post or fourteen. Moving on.

Here’s my ranking for “Legit, Dean Totes Felt Something” characters:

4. Jo3. Cassie2. Lisa1. Carmen

All of these ladies, no matter if nothing ever got off the ground [Jo] to the what-might-have-been [Cassie] to the long-term relationship [Lisa] to the dream ideal [Carmen] have some stark, can’t-miss-‘em, key characteristics in common  [intelligent, mature, value family, etc.] but I won’t go into that here. 

They’re as solid a guide as we’ve got right now, and not just for doing this nickname postulation exercise - I’d also recommend peeps who wanna reeeeeally drill down on an O/C love for Dean to utilize these characters as a jumping off point. R/Is are, of course, going to be [::coughs:: should be] more nebulous in their attributes.

Take home message is that he had a great deal of respect for all of them, so anything that would have to depend on tone because it walks a fine line, you may wanna axe it from the list as an everyday sub for their name.

III. What Are We Looking For & When We Find It, What Do We Do?

You are looking for any nicknames/endearments he assigned to them.

If he did use an endearment with them, do the following:

(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?

(2) Picture Dean calling your character whatever endearment he called them

(3) How’d that work out for you?

And if not, to speculate upon what he would say….. guess what?

(1) Which of those 4 is your Dean love interest most like?

(2) Picture Dean calling them whatever endearment you’ve chosen

(3) How’d that work out for you?

That is your litmus test. Wash, rinse repeat.

IV. What Else Do We Have At Our Disposal To Flesh Out Our Profile Of “Dean In Love"’s Verbiage?

Plenty.

We’ve got the ability to make the profile more robust because of the cooooooooopious amount of evidence on the flip side, what he zeroes in on with the bed-’em-and-book-it type of gal, what his verbiage is like with them, the peeps he doesn’t intend on keeping around for long. 

Bonus: that recent ep of what he was like under a love spell. Take what we saw, scale down the intensity, fiddle with it where appropriate - meaning, ‘86 anything that was alike in all the men they charmed, as that isn’t evidence of “Dean In Love” coming to the surface, it’s evidence of the spell’s structure so as to elicit specific behaviors in victims.

Second thing you can look at in terms of nicknaming habits are people for whom he has no romantic inclinations. The easiest cases in point being Sam and Castiel, a.k.a. Sammy and Cas. Off the top of my head, for whatever reason, I recall him calling Gadreel “Zeke” prior to the stolen identity reveal.

So Dean’s a “-y” adder and a name-shortener, consistently with Sam and Castiel, however many times with Ezekiel/Gadreel, and there’s likely more examples, godspeed on that research journey, I ain’t your girl.

I am also 100% - and I know y’all are, too - that he’s a biiiiiiig proponent of situational nicknaming, and while it’s usually snark [think “Batman” for himself, “Harry Potter” for Mick, etc.] it still goes to pattern. I’ve got so many of these in the CASPN decks, it’s unreal, and maaany, possibly most, of them - as noted just now - are TV/movie/music/book-related. [I know this because I’m trying to pull them out as I go to stick them in their own “Deanisms” deck, because if the decks ever go “public” for sale, they can’t have copyrighted content in them]

Again: here we’re looking at a broad stroke in his verbiage, to get a feel of his go-tos, his habits in what he calls others.

V. Thing Of The Second: Nash On Nicknames/Endearments For Unnamed Characters -  A.K.A.: Where I’m coming from on this, just so’s y’all can do the whole “Consider the source” thing

I don’t lean into the whole nickname thing. It’s not a purposeful effort, as in, I’m policing myself or when I edit I’m taking them out. It’s just not a reflexive brain-to-keyboard thing for me. I don’t often have characters calling each other by name/nickname/endearment, particularly when it’s just 2 people in a convo, unless it’s a heated convo, a la “DAMMIT NASH!” and “EAT ME, SHITBIRD!”

Longer the fic, trickier this gets. Somebody’s gonna have to address our nameless-faceless protag at some point, and as has been established copiously during my tenure in this fandom, I hope Y/N and her pouty, lip-nibbling, everything-she-does-including-fart-is-done-softly self would die in a fire, ceiling optional, so believe me: I *do* co-sign substitute monikers.

It’s too far to scroll up, here’s what I said about his nicknaming pattern —>

and any endearment is gonna be something that’s a riff on their name [a la “Sammy” or “Cas”] or related to a specific situation….. she knocks over the sugar bowl, so she’s “Sugar” until enough glares shut that shit down…. things like that. 

We talked above about him riffing on the person’s name. The situational thing I mentioned - I’ll tell y’all what I did for this, RE: the sticky wicket of when it’s a mini-series/series. [Personally? I think most one-shots can dodge this issue altogether, though certainly YMMV]

VI. What Has Worked In The Nashhole Writing Room

Now, I haaaaated writing the smut thing of mine when I lost a bet, so I plotted it to hell to keep my sanity, and it expanded to 5 g.d. parts. The smut part of it is *riddled* with the tripest tropes that ever troped [part of said bet’s terms], so I’m talking about the story part of it here. 

Dean and the protag had a touch-and-go, volatile sitch going on for the bulk of it, ergo chances high due to intense emotions that somebody at some point was gonna have to address each other in at least a tense manner, if not one of anger.

And she was tough as nails, a sniper called in to assist them on a hunt, and she would’ve ended him if he dared call her anything even in the realm of too cutesy-shmoopsy on the reg. It would be in conflict with what I’d built her up to be, bottom line, and likely suck the readers out of the story. 

Here’s the dodge I came up with, keeping in mind the situation is she’s a sniper:

“So, we have a decision to make,” Dean said through a partially chewed bite of his burger.

Was he actively trying to be gross? He thankfully swallowed before continuing.

“I’m not in the mood to drive all the way back to Jody’s, then have to share a bed with Sam in her guest room,” Dean began.

Okay. He was talking to me.

“I think the best thing to do is head to the bunker—”

I looked to him, aghast.

“—and we’ve got plenty of room, we can pick up a toothbrush for you when we stop to fill up—”

Did he not notice the big black bulky thing I’d thrown in the back floorboard when they picked me up? I was never not prepared. There was already a toothbrush in my backpack. And a change of clothes.

And a Glock.

“—then we’ll all be fresh daisies, get you home tomorrow. Whaddya say, Snipes?”

Oh god. He’d nicknamed me. Had my letting him win a staring contest actually infused him with enough bravado to try and make friends? Convince me to stay in what Jody had described as essentially a really large basement?

They end up in love - but the sub for her name isn’t lovey-dovey, and it doesn’t have to be, the dynamic between them is vastly more important [more on that later]. 

In another one in the ol’ draft folder - and it’s not a romantic dynamic, but the nickname dodge happens because she’s unnamed - here’s how that’s gonna work. In an earlier scene, it’s mentioned that Dean was giving her a hard time via the Patsy Cline song “I Fall To Pieces” [spoiler alert: it’s the story based upon THIS thing, you’re smart cookies, you’ll get the reasoning behind it]

And you’d remember. It’s not something you’d forget. I know this because no one else has. Dean still calls me “Cline” - let me rephrase - he bellows it, with glee and snort-laughs, though I suppose there’s worse things to be called. He’s called me those, too, over the years, he doesn’t disappoint. And Sam still narrows his eyes at left my knee, watches my gait for any unevenness or wobbles, and it doesn’t matter what I say, he’ll believe he messed up the articulation til the end of days.

Tangentially-related, in “Build Me Up, Buttercup” - the nutty AU-ish thing that actually started because I was riffing on the sweetheart situation and it mutated - there’s a chunk of conversation between The Woman In Black/The Masked Vampirate/The Apprentice [—-> hint, hint, hint: we *can* refer to folks without using a name/nickname] and Dean on this very topic, of what we call others in lieu of their given names. Mini-spoiler: Even though she’s written 3rd person O/C, and even though she does end up as someone’s love interest, you’re never gonna know her name.

Not spoilers, because these stories are already “out there”, you also never learned/will never learn the names of the chicks in Hello, I’m Gone; The Lore You Know; It; The Once Demon Barber From Robintree; A Delicate Desiccation; The Bell-Watcher’s Daughter; A Fluff By Any Other Name; and who friggin’ knows what-all in the stack of quickies I’ve accumulated.

VII. Thoughts On The Examples Given In The Ask

Back to what you said….. and shit, Imma c/p it here, if anybody’s made it this damn far, I won’t ask they scroll up: 

All right, in no particular order, just as things hit me…..

It’s about 7:30 a.m. here in Nashland, this is rotten and off the top of my head, but I could totes picture seeing pumpkin in a Halloween fluff, like - something happens with a pumpkin, it’s dropped or she slices open her hand trying to carve it, is like “[something something] and don’t start calling me pumpkin” and he’s like “Nah…. Punk.” ‘Cause, again - he loves a situational riff & he’s a shortener.

Agreed on princess, I co-sign your gut, he’d say it sneery/as a cut-down on someone who’s afraid to dig in, get a little dirt in the skirt on a hunt or something.

Darlin’ is tricky, because Dean’s not Southern/doesn’t have a drawl unless a touch of Jensen slips out…. and honestly, he’s not got much of an accent from what I’ve heard, though remember that’s going through a Dixieland filter, so consider the source. Might I offer a sub for it? See how “doll” works.

Well, honey’s hitting closer to sounding like him. I’d go “hon”, though, RE: being a shortener. “Hey, hon?” is more casual than “Honey”, and “Honey” also might run the risk of popping a reader back to… [forgive the Rocket inclusion]: 

Full quote is “Honey, there ain’t no other men like me.”, but y’all knew that. It’s not on the OH HELL NO list for me, Honey/Hon’s definitely a contender.

But speaking of pinging my “OH HELL NO” radar - 

[gasps] Oh, Whoozies…. oh my Whatsis…. sugarplum?

[shakes head vehemently] 

* UNLESS* Y/N is a violet-hued fairy in ballet slippers, and they are battling a baby-chomping sentient Nutcracker. But even then, he’d call her ‘Plums.

Sweetie… hmmmm….. you know what might be worth a go? “Sweets”. I could hear “Hey, Sweets” coming out of his mouth. If you could figure a way to make it a lesser of two evils, that’s even better, like…. he pats her on the ass and calls her “sweetcheeks” and she’s all “Oh, but no”, so he downshifts to “sweets”.

“Puddin’“….. erm….. My knee-jerk is no. If it were suuuuper situational, perhaps. I’m drawing a blank on what the situation would be, though, because my mind immediately pops to that episode at the spa…. I just….

I’m hearing it in my mind as if somebody was writing a story where it’s basically a re-hash of that episode - Oh but (tee-hee) this time Y/N got the roofied pudding, and now Dean’s gonna drive her nuts never letting her forget it! Tune in for next week’s episode of Supernatural, guest starring Ordinary McTypical-Chick as Puddin’! [/announcer voice] [cue laugh track], and then I’m all……

 Round up on the “Give ‘Er A Try” list:

Honey —> sure why not; “hon” may be better

Sweetie —> ehhhh, probably situational; “sweets” could be worth a try

Pumpkin —-> sooooo situational; and if go there, would 100% roll it into “punk”

Darlin’ —> ehhhh; “doll” suggested sub

….and wasn’t mentioned, but unless it works your personal nerves, from my POV, “babe” doesn’t pull me out of the story if it sneaks into Dean’s dialogue, a la “Hey, babe? You already toss some shells into the trunk?” 

Nash’s Three Key Pieces Of Advice For Pulling This Off

1. Who is this person on the receiving end of the nickname - know this, and it’ll narrow down your choices;

2. Do it like Dean: if they have a name, go “-y” or shorten it, or take a situation/circumstance and spin it;

and, possibly the most important -

3. Limit, limit, limit

Make your own parameters for amount of times this is happening in a given piece. I’m just throwing #s - like, = 500 = 0,  501 - 1K = 1, 1.1K - 2.5K = 2, something like that. Take away the pressure of it by making “rules” and you’re free to get your brain back to the story.

Because here it is, y’all - and I’ve said this in other posts - the best thing you can do for yourself or for those you beta is to stop after every scene or paragraph or page or “x” amount of words, whatever your pref is, and ask yourself about what you’ve just read/written:

Who cares?  - A.K.A.: Is ____ advancing the plot/the interpersonal dynamics, or not?

Regarding non-nickname stuff: Does it matter that we know about her morning routine? That she had oatmeal because she was out of bagels? The make and model of her car? Her co-workers’ names? Her co-workers at all? What her cat is like? What her cat is named? Her cat at all?

And the same applies here: Does an endearment matter in this particular sentence/moment? I care about the relationships between/amongst the characters, how well they’re grooving with each other [or not], how that weaves together, how it’s integral to the plot, how it impacts the action/the task, how it plays into the climax and resolution [or lack thereof].

Is it ideal to have things coming out of the mouths of the characters we all know ring true? Absolutely. And that’s the other “who cares” here: BIG cares if things that are “un-Dean” creep in. As the adage goes: “When in doubt, don’t”.

So, when stuck on this element, figure out something else to do with the sentence…. and I’d start with 86′ing the nickname. Bet you money most of the time, the message of the sentence will read exactly the same.

You got this. 

Thanks for the Q, hope I helped in some fashion and that the curses either wane, or perhaps reach new, interesting heights and volumes, depending on the level of said helpfulness.