#it became a fair deal more than that because Rambling

[melchinafan]

I'm looking around for posts to read up more on alt text/image IDs/etc., trying to figure out what is preferred and how best to handle them. I've recently seen some posts using alt text instead of descriptions in the body of the post, and I remember something about alt text being fiddly for some folks though maybe not for others? But that was a bit ago so maybe there's been a tumblr update that made it better? Still not totally sure on that. (This article is pretty good so far, with clarification and examples of what each type of description is and what they're for. This one is also excellent, with a ton of thorough examples, though it's specifically art-focused. Tumblr-based link hubs I've found include this which has stuff about the why and how for various situations, and this which has even more, for both users and businesses.)

And part of my brain is going "my spoons, there's So Much involved here and AAAA..." (Both because I do try to make my descriptions Accurate and Interesting which takes brainpower to write...and also because I'm reading so much right now that my brain is currently full, so the mere concept of Having Spoons feels absurd at the moment.) But also I think...I think the basic flat starter sentences I keep doing are...what could/should go in the alt text section? (Like, "screenshot from [game]" and "stylized illustration, fanart for [thing].") I'm still reading, but if that's the case, you can chill, brain! We already do the alt text bit, we just gotta put it in a different spot.

It still does cost me spoons to also describe something after I've spent too much time drawing it. But I'm prone to sitting on things for a day before posting them, so I use that sitting time to at least start a description! Which I can then refine before posting, going back and forth between both image and description to double-check each for missed errors/potential improvements. AND sometimes I'm too lazy to pull out my tablet, so I'll start an image as a mouse-based doodle "note" to have the file ready to work on later...so sometimes I'll start the description then, if I've got a good idea of what I plan to have it look like! (Then it's doubly-important that I edit the description before posting, to make sure it matches whatever the actual end result was. But my perfectionism requires double- and triple-checking anyway, so it works out fine.)

Bonus benefit to image descriptions, besides increased accessibility (which is the point, and should be incentive enough to do them): I can indicate little details or intent in my drawings that might not be immediately obvious to everyone. Like, that Disco Elysium fanart I did had the swirling musical lines as a hugely key element that I pondered over and reiterated SO MUCH, trying to visually capture the audio differences I was imagining in every subtle way I could, even though the end result looks very simple. (Respective colors, different line thicknesses, and steady wave vs swooping swirls were obvious to me, but might not be to folks looking at it, yanno? Or they'd get the vibe, but not be able to explain why, so that could help make it "click.") Plus, I used the fuzzy edges and color fadeout as a nod to the Pale, which I also had the chance to add bonus hints about in the description (without having to go "HEY IT'S A REFERENCE" in the post itself). Or like this fanart of Ryou, I got to point out that the lineart placement and lighter areas of color not only served to indicate lighting, but also his slow movement and the fact that he's kind of dissolving. So yeah. Describing my stuff is also a nice little bonus to help everyone get in on what's going through my brain.

[new-tella-us]

Me- Brain, it’s late. Let’s go to bed.

Brain- Okay but let’s listen to oooooone last song.

Me- Fine…

(Listens to the one song that would make my brain go “What if King Erik?”)

I swear to y’all, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

Erik wasn’t supposed to get a mildly good king ending. This is probably not canon to my universe… probably. But I’ll at least let the brainrot do its thing.

And I’m gunna be talking about this like a tired, rambling historian for the vibes.

SO, the golden era is dead. At this point of history, the last royals of the golden era, Raestrao and Istorae are nowhere to be found so it’s time for a new era to begin starting with the second son of the late Demon Lord, Uzaeris. This era is often called the “Ruby Era” or the “Animal Uprising” depending on who you’re talking to. For the sake of respect, we will be calling it the “Ruby Era”.

A lot of people didn’t like this change at the time for 3 major reasons. 1) Some people didn’t want any of the Demon Lord’s sons on the throne and instead wanted the Rebel Queen, Ezaeur but… she hasn’t been seen either. Most people assumed she was killed in the war. 2) Many still wanted Istorae’s line to continue and the golden era to resurface but that ain’t happening. 3) Racism. Aka some people didn’t like that Uzaeris, a part animal demon, was going to be their king. Too bad for them though because he’s turning out to be a very powerful and pretty good king all things considered.

Most in his alliance would report him as charming and likable. The trade deals he made were as fair as they could be while still benefiting his kingdom, leaving a long line of improvements in agriculture that affect even the modern day. He’s managed to unite many kingdoms over his reign with just diplomacy. And over all, if you can get over the previous three reasons not to like him, you’ll find that he was generally cool to be around. However, a diplomat he was but a pushover he was not. Over the years there have been a few rebellions from those three reasons plus some people who didn’t feel like they were being benefited enough but every rebellion was lost and pretty swiftly too. Every rebellion ended in one of three ways: imprisonment, banishment or execution. Of course, being a diplomat, Uzaeris was known for using the former two far more than any ruler before him which only strengthened his reputation as a strict but fair king.

Now, let’s talk about the lovely lady clinging to his shoulder. As a human in the Demon World, she stood out from the start. She has no official name (only really being called “Human” by most and “Princess” by the king), age (though we can assume she was around the king’s age. Maybe slightly younger) or place of origin and some even suspect that she’s not fully human; she only started appearing in the records around when Uzaeris became king. Some relate the correlation between the time the four princes disappeared for 10 years with the time she started appearing in records and wonder if there was any reason for that correlation though nothing is set in stone.

If you tried to research what role this girl played during the Ruby Era, you would get a word that could vaguely be translated into either “Harem Girl” or “Courtesan” neither being fully accurate. It would be more accurate to call her a harem girl, she was really only for the king after all; though records show that she was far higher in the social ranks than most harem girls at the time, hence the confusion with the word “Courtesan”. Even so, she wasn’t treated like a harem girl. Most paintings and records depict the relationship between the king and this girl as loving equals rather than the massive power imbalance that should have been there instead. A common theory is that these two were lovers but, for safety reasons, she was called a harem girl. Most people at the time wouldn’t accept a human queen after all. Though, once again, nothing is set in stone.

Truly these two were an elusive pair, seemingly popping out of nowhere and eventually; when a new ruler was settled and decided, they disappeared back into nowhere.

[lillxart]

Confessions

"Alright." Taliesin placed his hands on his hips. "Out with it."

"Out with what? ^^;" Snow White stepped off of the boat and onto the shore.

"Out with...whatever you've been keeping from me all evening. I know you're hiding something."

"Whaaaaaat? ^^; OVO;; H-Hiding? Nooooo I'm not hiding anything!"

Taliesin crossed his arms and gave the hagraven dragonborn a skeptical look. He stepped forward. "Really? You take me out to a candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, shopping at one of my favorite stores in Alinor, and then find the perfect spot in a grotto to go out on a boat stargazing for no reason at all? Please, I know you're more mischievous than that." He laughed. "So? What's the joke? What's the punchline? Don't tell me we're going on some world-ending quest tomorrow morning and you're buttering me up to bring me along?"

"Ahaha...! ^^;" Snow White had no response. She can see why he'd think she'd be planning something. After all she's never showed him this kind of attention before. Well, she has, but not all at once on the same day...

Taliesin playfully rolled his eyes and poked her nose. "You know, you don't have to bribe me to go along with you. I've spent nearly a year dealing with your insanity. I don't see a reason why I'd flee now~ I believe I said I'd follow you to Sovangarde and back, if you'd have me. I'm not a Mer to go back on my word~"

"Taliesin..." She melted at his words. Her heart beating a mile a minute, a blush rising to her cheeks. Snow White tried, she desperately tried to keep her feelings in, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t fair. Why did she have to be a dragon? Why did she attain divinity through the kind of creature that, by nature, suppression of any desire was akin to madness? Dragons are meant to be primordial beings with an insatiable urge to conquer and dominate. To ignore that divine right would be…well…nearly impossible. Unfortunately, that rule also applies to strong feelings like love. Suppressing how much she loves Taliesin has brought her to a boiling point, and she can’t keep the lid on the pot anymore. “I–I love you!”

She said it. 

Oh gods…she actually; she actually said it…! 

Taliesin was stunned, or at least, Snow White thought he was. Taliesin wasn’t saying anything, his eyes still fixed on her face. “I don’t know for how long, or even when it started. I–It just…it just happened. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself! And it’s not just ‘oh I love this about you or, I love that about you’. It’s…It’s…everything. I love everything about you!” The witch detailed everything she loved about Taliesin. How snarky he was, how confident he was, his ironic humor, bad dancing, and love of dad jokes. His tenderness towards animals, how serious he gets about food presentation, how his eyes trail off to dessert before he’s finished dinner and how articulate and critical he is when it comes to flower arrangements that little laugh he does after he finishes off an enemy…

But it wasn’t just his good points, she loved his bad points too. She loved how he had to gain that confidence over time because of the rough childhood he had, she loved how that very snarkiness he developed was meant to be a shield against the cruelty that he faced in his life. She loved how his love of dad jokes was probably born from the period in time where he had few friends, and probably had bouts of social awkwardness. She didn’t love how he viewed himself, but what set her heart on fire were all the ways she could shower him in love to try and make up for it.

Snow White rambled on, getting more nervous by the second, her eyes became manic and her hands felt clammy. The more she tried to talk about him the more tongue tied she became. It wasn’t just one thing that she liked about him. It wasn’t a quality, a personality trait, it was just him in all of his being. Taliesin down to his very soul, she loved. Good or bad, if it was him then she adored it. Describing that was hard, but she tried her best. “So…um…” Her eyes were wide, winded from her confession. A look of terror was on her face, fully expecting a rejection. “I–I know it’s…a…lot ^^; E–Eheh! I mean, I know you don’t feel the same way about me! Wh–Why would you? I’ll just um…” Snow took a step back, turning her eyes away from him.

@dynamite124

(Here it is! :>)

[venriliz]

where do you draw the line with AI in the sims, with some modders such as TurboDriver talking having used it to an extent? https://tag.hexagram.ca/wickedwhims-a-conversation-about-adult-content-creation-and-responsible-adult-mods-design-in-the-sims-franchise-by-aurelie-petit/

hii! :]

i bet u mean this here right?

AP: Do you ever use AI in your work? TD: Oh yeah, because I do a lot of this stuff myself. Most of the time, I try to get other people involved, but sometimes, I just need simple things and I struggle a lot with coming up with ideas for writing. There’s so many of these descriptions in the mod and I don’t know what to write. And so, I ask ChatGPT for ideas on what to write, and it just tells me the kind of wording I can use. It never tells me anything that I can directly use because AI is awful still, but it’s good for ideas. I haven’t found any other AI that’s useful for this, other than building my own and it takes so much time that I gave up."

first of - i actually wasn't aware that turbo uses chatgpt DESPITE knowing that AI is bullshit and i think it's obvious that i don't like that kind of ai usage either. so yeah, i'm critical of turbo for using ai for something as relatively simple as writing a description... of course if english isn't your first language or you just have problems with grammar or writing in of itself it can be hard BUT there are and must be different ways to deal with that other than chatgpt or other ai.

since i'm not into gameplay rn i haven't used wicked whims in a while but obv turbos mods are essential for a lot of simmers to even pick up the game but that shouldn't make him using ai ok either. it might not be as on the nose as these ai-simblrs generating their "screenshots/renders" but it's still not great lol. u obv can argue that turbo did most of his modding by himself in comparison to the ai-simblrs where most of their "work" was done by ai but that shouldn't excuse chargpt usage either. still not cool.

my opinion is that ai-generating is completely obsolete, we've always been able to live our lives without it before it became a thing so why use something as "useless" that causes so much harm in so many ways?

sadly i have a feeling that using ai will become something like smoking has been for a long time before it became banned inside in most places and generally more awareness of the dangers was raised. despite smoking being so harmful it became a normalized thing and most people didn't talk much about the bad side of it just because so many people did it. (to be fair there's nothing positive about smoking lol) unfortunately using ai seems to be taking a similar path with its usage being normalized despite all the bad things that come with it BUT that shouldn't stop us from critically thinking of it and speaking up, right? :]

(btw i'm sorry if this came off as rambling but... english isn't my first language and i didn't use chatgpt lol °-°)

[bluegekk0]

does hallownest have pride parades?

Oh that is a pretty interesting question, I'd love to ramble about this. I'm going to say that no, they don't, but not because their society would be against it. Quite the opposite, actually.

The way I imagine it, their culture is far more animal-like than ours in many aspects. They do have morals, obviously, and more complicated social structures and views that distinguish between those who break the law and those who follow it. That being said, it's far from what you see in our society - they don't have an elaborate justice system, so for example, a murderer will simply be executed for their crime without an extended trial, and killing someone in a fair duel doesn't raise any eyebrows. Death is a part of their life and it's not as big of a deal as it is for us, humans. Though things like murder and other serious crimes are frowned upon. The laws are in place to maintain order and peace between different species that coexist, and embrace progress, even if many of their values do not overlap with ours (for example, in some cultures, eating other sapient bugs isn't even considered a crime, though naturally that wouldn't fly in most places).

I mention this, because those kind of animal-like views also contribute to how they see concepts like gender or sexuality. While reproduction and having offspring is an essential part of an animal's life, individuals that engage in behaviors outside of the norm aren't ostracized, discrimination simply isn't really a thing. And I think this aspect would carry over to those living in Hallownest and many other lands in their world. Relationships between different species are generally widely accepted (as for how that even works when it comes to producing young, I won't get into the biology. "It just works" as Todd Howard would say) And similarly, a same-sex couple or someone who explores their gender in ways that go against their biological sex would not be frowned upon, it would simply not be a big deal for most.

I say most, cause I do imagine there are some species/cultures where such behaviors would be questionable at best and treated with hostility at worst. Perhaps some of them put great value in relationships that result in offspring, maybe their mating rituals are so essential in their culture that couples that can't perform them the way it's intended are seen as outcasts and shunned. As an example, I actually have lore that touches on similar concepts with my Lurien interpretation - his species is extremely rare, encouraging relationships only within its kind that can produce children, and its quite unique wedding traditions put a massive emphasis on their sexual dimorphism, which unfortunately leads to discrimination against those who don't fit those norms.

But those would be a minority, and I think most of the communities living in Hallownest would have a much more accepting view on same sex couples and so on, in many ways thanks to FPK's accepting and open nature. Ever since he became the king, he encouraged peace between different communities and believed in a united society, where bugs reject their brutal beastly instincts and instead live as one big community (though unfortunately that part backfired, leading to hostility towards those deemed as "beasts", propagated among the upper class of the City). A naïve view, perhaps, but the bugs still followed the ways of their king.. While he himself struggled with his own sexuality for many years, primarily due to his lack of experience with relationships, he's always been supportive of those who openly embrace their identities.

And because their society has never dealt with substantial discrimination, there was also no need for events such as pride parades - to them, love is love no matter what, so there is no need for specific holidays. If there is a day dedicated to love, then love of any kind is celebrated.

I hope this makes sense. I think their society being so much more accepting than ours despite its animalistic ways is quite interesting. Not to mention, there's a lot of comfort to be found when exploring a world that simply welcomes queer identities as part of life. You might get stabbed and robbed by a bandit in the City if you're alone at night, but at least you can hold hands with your partner and not get called a slur. Love wins ♡

[chaotic-goodsir]

Some thoughts about the BBC ghosts finale, because it was inevitable that I'd have some rambling to do after watching:

It seems like there's a lot of annoyance and disappointment around the finale, which is fair when so many people had high expectations. Personally I didn't mind it - maybe it wasn't the show's best episode, but I think it ended the only way it could.

Before Mia, Alison was constantly entertaining and paying attention to the ghosts, because she's a caring person who chose to use her gift to get to know them and try to give them new experiences. She didn't have to do that. She could have moved out sooner, or tried to arrange an exorcism that worked, or taught herself to ignore the ghosts completely. Plenty of people in her position might have done those things, but Alison chose to make a family out of the bunch of dead weirdos she found herself stuck with.

She made time for all the ghosts while somehow also making time for Mike AND finding uses for the massive crumbling house that neither of them asked to inherit - not to mention helping to organise repairs and archeological digs and viewings and so on. That's honestly impressive and it sounds exhausting. There's no way she or Mike could have continued to live that way while also taking care of a child.

Something I love about Ghosts is the way it addresses mundane but important themes - things like home, friendship, family, grief and support for one another. It's not a perfect show by any means and but for a silly fun comedy it's also surprisingly thoughtful and soft, and kind to all of its characters (even Julian and Barclay!) despite their flaws. It deals with topics that most people can relate to, and mostly it handles them in an honest, kind and realistic way. I think that's part of what has made it so popular.

So Alison leaving, and the Ghosts advising her to, makes sense to me. The ghosts might stay the same forever, but Alison and Mike (and Mia) are living people with their own stories ahead of them. Even in found families and close-knit friend groups, things change. Dynamics shift. Not everyone can remain as closely tied to the group as they might have been before.

That doesn't have to be a loss or a betrayal. Things changing doesn't mean that they are ruined. Alison goes back to visit the ghosts for the rest of her life - she makes sure they know that they aren't forgotten. And the ghosts stick around for her as well (or at least, we can assume they all do). Their relationship as friends is not less important than Alison and Mike's new family, it just needs less attention, because the ghosts are adults and can survive (or, uh, exist?) by themselves. I don't think it's out of character or poor writing to show them letting Alison have some space. It's what good friends might do to support a friend who, for whatever reason, can't be around as much anymore.

Overall I didn't completely love the finale. I wish it had been a double episode, and I've seen some posts saying Alison deserved more opportunity to be her usual chaotic self before she became an exhausted new mother, which I agree with. I think the fact they threw in a speech tying everything to Christmas just because it was a Christmas special was a bit annoying, if unavoidable. But it was sweet and a good way to say goodbye to one of my favourite shows.

[sweetmage]

Click for full res!🌳

Middle aged man adventure!! Sebastian and Edan (my warden) are very close friends in their older years💖

By that point in my canon, Sebastian has matured and mellowed our significantly and is both a better and more just leader as well as a more open-minded and less angry/vengeful person. So they get on quite well!

They've both faced (and, in some ways, continue to face) a lot of similar circumstances and struggles so there is a deep understanding between them that they are hard-pressed to find elsewhere.

More (EXTREMELY longwinded) rambles about their shared experiences below the cut!

The below are just how things play out in my canon for them and are filtered through 50 layers of headcanons so, they are not not meant to he reflective of the actual canon or the "canon" set up in any mods mentioned.

Also TW for themes of violence/murder (as per canon), brief/vague mentions of torture, and brief discussion of addiction.

So anyway, of course the similaries begin early on. Each in their early twenties, they experiences the sudden massacre of their families at the hands of someone they trusted. Though Sebastian wasn't nearly as close to his family as Edan was, it didn't make the pain any less.

Resultingly, they both became consumed by a drive for vengeance until it was all they could see.

In my canon Sebastian eventually gave up on his quest to hunt Anders even though he never forgave him because he came to view his own actions as pointless and unjust. Killing Anders or bringing harm to other mages would not bring back his family and the plight of mages in Kirkwall and even in his own citystate were becoming hard to ignore.

Edan got his revenge against Howe (kinda) but it never satisfied him and, in the end, he was left shattered and staring at the bridges he'd burned along the way.

Both of them also faced a betrayal by someone they felt close to (which, tbh, came as a result of their own destructive actions) as well. Though it was never truly reciprocated in the same way (my Hawke saw him as merely an ally), Sebastian viewed my Hawke as his friend. He was one of the few people to validate his pain and anger and stand by him through his ongoing war with himself. However, it was not a question in Hawke's mind to spare and defend Anders that night in the Gallows and whatever loss Sebastian felt would not come in the way of that (to be fair, Hawke might have been his shoulder to cry on if he wasn't trying to convince him to uhh... kill his boyfriend...).

He also had a pretty decent relationship with Merrill who would not stand by and allow more bloodshed. Though they had their differences, Sebastian was better to her than Anders ever was, but she could not stand by and watch him be killed. She tried to reason with Sebastian but, when he wouldn't listen, she turned her back on him too and aided Hawke and Anders as she could.

In Edan's case, I play with the Ser Gilmore NPC mod so he romanced Roderick/Roland (I use Roderick in my canon). Roderick, his childhood friend and sweetheart, was the only person aside from himself to survive the attack on castle Cousland, but not without a great cost.

Tortured at the hands of Howe and his men, Roderick was left with severe and crippling trauma. Of course, this enraged Edan and pushed him further down the destructive path. So destructive, in fact, that Edan made a habit of probing him for more information on his trauma as a subconscious means of solidifying his resolve, all to the detriment of their relationship which began to break down until Roderick snapped and shut him out.

As the time to meet Howe drew near, Roderick began to behave strangely. He began to speak to him again, telling him earnestly how much he needed him to know that he loved and cared for him.

When, at last, they confronted Howe, Howe was quick to tell Edan about how Roderick has betrayed him. He refused to die honorably to protect him as the other soldiers had, he instead agreed to a deal to find Edan and bring him back in exchange for an end to his suffering.

Of course, Edan was already reeling from that revelation, but, before he could process, Howe began to speak cruelly of Edan’s parents causing Roderick to lash out and kill him, thus stealing Edan’s chance at revenge. The two did reconcile eventually and continue their (admittedly more healthy now) relationship, but they have both acknowledged that some things cannot be forgiven.

In my canon, both Seb and Edan struggle with addiction. Edan with lyrium which he began taking in secret when Alistair trained him, though he never actually became a templar and rarely used the powers (can read about that here if ya want), and Sebastian with alcoholism that developed when he returned to Starkhaven post-game (something that I HC was a vice from his distant past). They become a very good support system for each other in this regard. By the time they meet, Sebastian has been fully sober for some years, but he is one of several that encourage Edan to seek treatment for his lyrium addiction.

Of course there is also the obvious, they are both youngest sons of high nobilty who were never properly trained or prepared for the positions they'd soon take up. Sebastian's wife, Celestine, actually did a lot of pulling the strings behind the scenes at first while she trained him into competency. Edan had a pretty good team of advisors and has always had a very diplomatic mindset but the learning curve was still great. They commiserate about this a great deal.

Edan is Andrastian as well, but his time as a Warden has greatly impacted his world views. He has many friends and allies from all walks of life and has a low tolerance for discrimination and generalization. By this point, Sebastian has already significantly mellowed out from his DA2 levels of judgement though, and has admitted to himself that he does not, in fact, know everything and is far less likely to impose and keeps a more open mind to others. Still, any judgment that lingers Edan is quick to firmly point out and squash.

Edan still maintains a friendship with Anders from their time with the Wardens and regards him highly, even after the events of Kirkwall. Of course, he still sympathizes with Sebastian over over his loss and the two rarely discuss Anders (and vice versa, he rarely mentions Seb to Anders).

Though by this point Sebastian is married anyway, his friendship with Edan, an openly gay noble, has helped him confront and come to terms with his bisexuality and accept that part of him with less shame.

As it stands in my canon, Sebastian doesn't actually have any other friends aside from Celestine and their two children (Ellie and Finneas) before meeting Edan so they become quite close quickly and their friendship has a very positive impact on him.

They both have quite a love of fighting (I am always amused by Seb's fighting dialogue, man is screaming and having the time of his life out there lol), though they're happy to be off of real battle fields now. They enjoy sparring and occasionally participate in tournaments.

They also take short excursions from time to time when circumstances allow, both maintaining a spirit of adventure that they had to leave behind years ago when their big journeys ended.

They have a very close and intimate platonic relationship. They get vulnerable with each other, they have an extensive list of in-jokes, they write and visit frequently, they cuddle sometimes, they are referred to as "uncle" by their respective children, and are essentially like family to each other. 💖

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

Technically writing is a demand while daydreaming is a release from everydays demands but FUCK I wish it wasn't

And yeah... A fucking alicorn of healing would be GREAT in that AU -I'm gonna take that literally for this; Kokichi as Pony!Asclepius let's go! (RAMBLING!!!!)

Actually it's really fitting because depending on the version, Asclepius got ressurected after his death by Zeus and became the god of medecine

He got killed because he dared heal death, go against the will of the "game masters" so to speak, the gods...

Sounds familiar to anyone?

Anyway, time to INFODUMP ON YOU because you gave me the inspiration! IT'S ONLY FAIR TO SUFFER WITH ME

Kokichi being able to heal -doing it on instinct more than anything else- would make him SO valuable to any survivors out there...

Bonus point if he healed an infected when he wanted to blast it off to the wall in self-defense.

He's going to be fucking worshipped -quite literally!- and his group is going to be only of former infected ponies he healed

Kokichi is going to end up with just a straight up cult and he is NOT comfortable with this, I think he can heal the infected, but it's something he has to train up, he can heal a fresh infected pretty easily even from the start, but anything past the like, first hour, and hes going to need to train his magic more for, late stages is going to take INTENSE training especially, but that does let him get his first follower easily when he finds a pony lying on the road for dead, bite mark clear in their leg, they beg for help, and Kokichi decides to try and amputate the leg, but when he tries his poorly trained magic on it, the wound instead closes. Both are very shocked, the pony decides Kokichi must be a god due to y'know, curing them and also being an alicorn, Kokichi literally had no idea he was a ruling caste and doesn't know how to deal with this pony bowing and pledging undying loyalty and worship, Kokichi is having a bad week

[pleuvoire]

i've been reading every rising sun by jamila ahmed. it is a historically-grounded retelling of the story of shaherazade. i love the prose and the grounded attention to historical detail and it's emotionally compelling, i've been getting through a hundred pages at a time, it's an engaging read. and it's set during the islamic golden age which is one of my favorite eras of history to learn about. but it is in some ways not quite living up to my expectations. i was hoping there would be more political machinations because it is about shaherazade trying to keep the ruler who beheads all his wives placated during a time when the declining seljuk empire (which the main characters belong to) is under attack from the khwarazmian empire and the oghuz turks at the same time, and also all of them have to deal with the threat of the franks undertaking the third crusade. so for example, shaherazade considers letting the murderous malik she's married to ride off to jerusalem and die fighting against the european crusaders, but if she does that then the region she lives in might fall to the khwarazmids and oghuz, so she has to come with him to try to keep him alive. that sort of thing is fun, but there is a lot less of it over the course of 400 pages than i was hoping for, and more of it is devoted to shaherazade trying to keep on his good side so he doesn't kill her, especially when she starts crushing on this other guy and has to try to keep it hidden. i mean i understand because writing intricate politics is hard as shit. but also i'm a bit disappointed. oh well.

another aspect i'm disappointed in is the whole story thing. of the course the story of shaherazade is famous for how she kept herself alive by telling her husband compelling stories and leaving him in suspense. this was portrayed really well in the beginning but then the book became more about a bunch of other stuff happening and the storytelling started to feel more incidental. it still serves a role because every time he gets pissed at her for something else she's like "umm hey wanna hear the next part of the story i was telling?" and it distracts him but, idk, i was expecting it to be way more central to the plot. also, the stories themselves are not very compelling. they feel way too modern in their style and structure and the amount of detail involved and they don't have the same timeless enduring folkloric feel as the actual irl 1001 nights. i've been writing a lot of spiders jeremy fanfic lately and really having fun messing around with that fairytale storytelling style, so it disappoints me that the author couldn't be bothered to do that, or at least not very much. then again, replicating that kind of folkloric style is really hard. i'm reminded of how recently i was reading the first queen's thief book which is super good but every time the characters start telling a mythological story from their world i feel like "hmm... this is a bit too detailed... it just doesn't quite feel like real irl mythology..." but i feel like this book does an even worse job of landing the style and is barely even trying. oh well.

i guess it's not fair that i'm asking this book to both have more complex intricate politics and be more about the stories shaherazade tells. though i think you could pull it off with a lot of tight seamless plotting - that's one of my issues here, that the book is kinda rambling and loosey-goosey. but i would settle for one or the other, if the politics were more complex and intricate or if the stories took more of a central role and had more thought put into them i would be happier. anyway despite all those words i am enjoying this book for all the reasons i said above, it's a solid 4 out of 5 stars for me, i just really like going in-depth on the criticism front so i thought i'd make a post recording my thoughts. if you read all this congrats and thank you

[bardicbeetle]

screaming about SitD - ramble on moral grey areas and vampirism and blood

Content Warnings: mention of drugs both use and dealing, and murder, that… is honestly about it. The murder bit is par for the course but I don’t usually dig into Moira’s list so obligate drug mention warning.

Additional reminder that I am writing fiction, character belief to author belief is not a 1-1 ratio.

Friend wanted to know about why my vampires were okay with killing people but not okay with stealing blood if that was a viable workaround to murder. This brought about via some previous conversations surrounding Isaac’s relationship to Alex and also the vamp!house as a whole. Brief interlude about the Lost Boys since they are the original blueprint for what my vampires eventually became.

OK

So.

Donated blood specifically within the confines of We-took-this-from-hospital = bad

Donated blood acquired via the chaos trio that is Isaac Carrie and Tom = good

And within that, the reason they Don’t Do that is primarily because Daniel takes issue with it and as far as the remaining Vamp!House is concerned, he’s as much in charge as it gets (which to be fair, is Not Much, but it’s not Nothing either). I’m just realizing that oddly enough 2/3 of the Chaos Trio blood they do take comes from Isaac and Tom who could not donate blood normally anyway because of MSM restrictions. There is also the argument to be made for taking a non-lethal amount of blood from someone and then messing their memory around until they won’t have questions about it, but again, Daniel is more against the whole Mind Fuckery shit than he is against murder at this point.

Re: The Lost Boys you can be mean about my bastard children I don’t care I used to have auditory hallucinations of Paul as a young teenager that annoyed me so much I threatened to kill him on a regular basis. But yeah they are, cavalier is a good word, indiscriminate is another but also it doesn’t quite fit to me just because as far as in-universe goes we only see them kill people who have fucked with them in some way or another. First being the security guard who kicked them off the boardwalk, second and third being the Surf N*zi’s who were fucking with them on the carousel and who the book confirms they have additional shit with already. But yeah. The boys don’t care about human life enough for people like Star, Michael, etc. We never see Max kill but I do not doubt that a lot of the missing posters aren’t just from the Boys.

ANYWAYS

ENOUGH ABOUT MY NON OC BASTARD CHILDREN

point at hand, they have reasons. not necessarily good or good or morally correct reasons, but such is unlife.

Daniel is… more than a little desensetized at this point. He did so much worse under Amalthea that a single death every other week or so does not weigh heavy on him. For the most part. There are days it’s too much. There are moments his own cowardice gets to him (is it worth living for all this ruin?). But there are people relying on him staying alive. That comes first (they come first).

Jesse and Moira are a touch different in that they have… a handful of rules followed more often than not. Piled up justifications or excuses or both. Call them what you want.

Jesse is a constant case of weighed options. He’s the one keeping an eye on bigots and hate crimes and going “Hmmm. Okay, too many. You’re done.” is the bar of what constitutes “too many” constantly changing? Yeah. Is too many One more often than not? Also yeah. He keeps a list. It’s sometimes disheartening that it never really gets shorter. Moira joins him on this a lot of the time.

Moira isn’t entirely apart from Daniel’s mostly indiscriminite if unlikely to be investigated murder, but when she is there are specific types she’s going after. This kinda came up organically when I was moving the story to central VT for the sake of my own location-knowledge— Moira knocks off drug dealers, mainly those putting out heroin and fentanyl because those are the things that hit home for myself and the people I’m close to. If someone is lining their pockets with death, as far as Moira is concerned they’re getting what’s coming to them. It’s a smaller list than Jesse’s, but it’s something she keeps an eye on.

This method of theirs has on occassion gotten the household into hot water when someone who is actually avoiding arrest ends up dead falling off the face of the earth. That’s partially why the household has the arrangement they do with Jonathan Davies, if someone goes missing who needs to properly turn up dead, they work that out with him and Theo.

I’ll keep Alex somewhat brief as we explore their reservations about murder… a lot in the actual text. Immediately post-killing their parents they subsist mainly off of blood donated by Isaac. They know that by no means does the rest of the household just kill innocent people all of the time, but that doesn’t mean they don’t. It takes some adjusting. Eventually they fall into a routine that mirrors their arrival, they walk at night, they let someone try to hurt them, and that doesn’t go so well for whoever tries it.

Re: Vent Art

Moira does art constantly, I mention in one of Alex’s first scenes at the house that the living room is essentially wall-to-wall paintings all stylistically different from each other, only linked by Moira’s little gold MH signature in the corner. She fucks around in every medium she can get her hands on. Sometimes it’s vent art, sometimes it’s not. There was a period shortly after she made the decision to become a vampire that it was entirely vent art because she missed the sun so fucking badly. Later on she just decides to be up during daylight anyways, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and watching the light out the windows until her eyes hurt. The first time she discovers that new england cloud cover is heavy enough in the wintertime to feel like daylight when it’s snowing is like coming alive again. (It’s also a really sweet moment for the whole house as that’s the first time Daniel has seen daylight in decades)

Jesse writes. He’s a little… hmmm, less affected by the whole thing, I think, than most. But I think that’s mostly because what he got out of this was the chance to live and also the love of his life? He’s a little bit biased. And again, he has set out pretty specific rules for himself as far as who dies. That being said, he’s a writer, things spill over. I speak from experience both in that things you think aren’t an issue weave their way into your writing, and that Jesse and I are similar enough that writing is his default coping mechanism when things are Affecting Him.

Moira and Jesse make a comic together.

A lot of comics together.

Jesse considers writing an instant gratification art form, and Moira is the one with the actual patience to deal with his mess of ideas and help get them to a point that makes sense in a visual medium.

AddiHart Comics is their project baby. It’s the origin of me calling them the Vamp!House because that’s what they call themselves there. They write silly little slice of life shit that would be 90% the same as every other iteration of that except for the “Oh by the way, vampires”. They have yet to tell Daniel about this, it’s been ongoing for about half a decade. (In truth, he found out about it through Sarah, but he’s not going to spoil the “secret”)

I like having a little in-universe nod to their backstories.

Daniel doesn’t really make vent art, but Daniel also has approximately 0 healthy coping skills and is only in the last decade or so getting better about not Fully Shutting Down any discussion of the Horrors that live in his head and his heart. He does read though. Like, a lot. An alarming amount. He’s a sucker for his silly little pile of romance paperbacks. There is a reason his “bedroom” is wall to wall bookshelves.

So, yeah.

That’s.

An amount of information probably larger than intended.

Which may or may not actually be coherent.

@cjjameswriting / @falling-rivers / @maabonwrites / @blve0 / @inexorableblob / @blueberrypoptart / @betwixtofficial / @drowsy-quill / @ezwriting / @ofinscriptions / @vaguelyhumanekid / @meatandboneasmr / @h-faith-marr-writeblr / @necros-writings / @poetinprose / @flyingbananasaur / @oldestenemy / @multi-lefaiye / @dotr-rose-love / @abalonetea

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Hello :) Welcome back to another episode of Smol Copy-Pastes A Ramble/Rant From Discord And Calls It A Tumblr Post. This week, we’ll be looking at one of my Crying Over Nishiki sessions which ALSO became a full on rant against Kazama! Whoo! Here we go, gonna be another ‘read more’ cause a) spoilers, and b) reeeeally long unhinged ranting about fictional men :D

“LOOK I COULDVE FIXED HIM, EVEN AFTER HE SLAPPED REINA, I'D HAVE BEEN LIKE 'LISTEN BBY I LOVE U IM HERE FOR U BUT GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AND APOLOGISE TO REINA!!!!!'

BUT NOOOOOO EVERYONE JUST HAD TO DECIDE TO BE A HUGE BITCH TO HIM AND BECAUSE THE DUMBASS LASHED OUT AT ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE HE HAD LEFT AND PROBABLY FELT LIKE HE COULDNT GO BACK AND APOLOGISE CAUSE I THINK HIS SELF ESTEEM IS ALREADY LOW ENOUGH BY THEN TO NOT EVEN THINK HE DESERVES HER FORGIVENESS AND THEN YUKO FUCKING DIES BECAUSE KAZAMA IS A FUCKING SHIT DAD AND EVERYONE IS A DICK TO HIM UNPROMPTED AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

point is i want to rip Kazama's spine out with my bare hands

hate how the game acts like he's so cool and good when he's really not he failed his kids so so badly ACTUALLY NO THEYRE NOT HIS KIDS HE'S THE ENTIRE REASON THEYRE ORPHANS”

(at this point I moved to the spoilers channel to continue my Unending Kazama Hatred)

OKAY SO TIME TO SCREAM ABOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER KAZAMA AND HOW THE GAME SUCKS HIS DICK do you have ANY idea how much i hated when they go to Tojo HQ so Tachibana can pay em to leave his sugar baby alone and the old fucker who weve never seen before is like 'u know i'd have paid a billion yen for Kazama when he was ur age. are u worth that much? are u as good as him?' LISTEN HERE CUNT HE IS A BETTER MAN THAN KAZAMA EVER WAS AND EVER WILL BE!!!!!!!

WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHIN SEEING AS HE'S REALLY ANNOYING IN THIS GAME like okay i get it Kazama is a yakuza and ex-hitman i EXPECT him to have done bad shit and it's very nice he set up the orphanage n all but it also isnt cause like bro you murdered these kids parents!!! and idk anythin about their life in the orphanage i'll admit but as an active yakuza i cannot imagine him being the most hands-on, tender, loving parent ever, yknow? ALSO ALSO like i know he tried to stop Kiryu and Nishiki becomin yakuza im just saying YA COULDVE TRIED HARDER MATE!!!! THEY WERE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, THEY WERE CHILDREN FOR GOD'S SAKE. KIRYU WAS LIKE 'WHY WONT U LET US BE LIKE U YOURE A YAKUZA U GET A COOL CAR AND PEOPLE RESPECT U LET US TRY AND HAVE THAT' YOURE LETTING HIM SELL HIS SOUL TO A LIFE OF CRIME BECAUSE HE WANTS A FUCKING CAR?????? I DONT CARE HOW STRONG THEY WERE IN THAT FIGHT YA FUCKIN SIT THEM DOWN AND GET RID OF THE ILLUSION OF GLAMOUR!!!!! TELL THEM THEYRE WORTH MORE THAN JUST GRUNTS WHO ARE GOOD WITH THEIR FISTS AND NOT MUCH ELSE, ONE FIGHT IN THE RAIN AND YOURE LETTING THEM JOIN, ABSOLUTELY FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT 

AND THEN HE'S SHOVING THEM OFF TO ANOTHER FAMILY BECAUSE OF SOME POLITICAL BULLSHIT IDK BUT FINE FAIR ENOUGH YA DONT WANNA PLAY FAVOURITES BUT I FUCKING HATE THIS WHOLE 'OH SEEMS DISTANT AND UNCARING BUT ACTUALLY HE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING AND HAS THEIR WELLBEING IN MIND' I JUST- JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!! 

MAYBE YA SHOULD PLAY FAVOURITES WHEN ONE OF YOUR CHARGES IS DYING VERY QUICKLY AND HER BROTHER HAS NO ONE FOR SUPPORT. INSTEAD OF FUCKIN LETTING THE GUY THEY APPARENTLY SEE AS BIG BROTHER FUCKING REPRIMANDING THE GUY CAUSE HE CANT GET CONTROL OF OR RESPECT FROM THE PEOPLE YOU ASSIGNED HIM AND SEEMINGLY KNEW THEYD BE DIFFICULT!!!!! HOW IS MY BOY MEANT TO ""PROVE HIMSELF"" WHEN HES DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA OF TAKING A LIFE (EVEN IF THE FUCKER HAD IT COMING), THE GUILT OF LETTING HIS BEST FRIEND TAKE THE FALL, AN ACT OF PURE KINDNEES IN CONTRAST TO HIS OWN BRUTAL IRREVERSIBLE ONE, THE STRESS OF TRYING TO SAVE HIS SISTER WHO IS DYING (MAYBE CONTRIBUTE SOME EXTRA CASH KAZAMA??? MAYBE???) AND DEALING THE AFOREMENTIONED DISRESPECTFUL FUCKERS AND LASHING OUT AND HURTING THE ONE PERSON HE HAS LEFT AND BURNING THAT BRIDGE, AND THE GIRL HE KILLED A MAN FOR HAS LOST HER MEMORY AND VANISHED (WHICH YOU HELPED WITH KAZAMA!!! YOU KNEW SHE WAS SAFE!!!!), 

AND THEN THE GRIEF OF LOSING HIS SISTER FOR NO. FUCKING. PURPOSE. HE SOLD OUT HIS REMANING MORALS, HIS PRIDE, ANY RESPECT OTHERS MAY HAVE HAD FOR HIM ALL TO SAVE HER AND IT FAILED. HE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT ALONE. YEAH I'D HAVE FUCKIN TURNED EVIL AS WELL!!!!!!!

im not sayin Nishiki is fully free of blame, obviously, he made his choices, and murdering Reina after using her love for him to further his own ends AND killing Shinji and ALL of the shit he pulls in Kiwami, yeah, completely fucked up, horrible, his choices, he did that shit. im just saying that i dont know, maybe if ya wanted to step in at any point in the last ten fucking years Kazama (preferably before that too), ya couldve and fuckin SHOULDVE”

I’ll be honest with ya lads, I stand by every word of this cfvgbhnjkgvbhnj

[screechingsandwichhologram]

c!crimeboys makes me feel things :(

here is my understanding/characterization of c!crimeboys relationship in lore. im going to preface here that i am in no way saying that c!crimeboys have a healthy relationship, or that c!wilbur is entirely a good person. i’m not saying he’s completely evil either.

c!crimeboys will always love each other, no matter what, and that is the tragedy. they aren’t good for each other, and it would have been best if they split when things went sour, but they can’t. they won’t. their love (platonic you freaks) for each other will always be a constant, forever tying them together.

however, their care for each other will vary. in early l’manburg times, they cared and loved each other quite a bit (i recognize the whole child solider thing. i believe that the concept of child soldiers being bad is not a concept in dsmp society. no one else questioned it, so why should c!wilbur? he did not realize the harm). then, in pogtopia, things went bad. as c!wilbur began to spiral, his care for c!tommy’s well being decreased, up until the end (where he wanted him to die with him). but he loved him. he still loved c!tommy, they were brothers. he just didn’t really care about him.

c!tommy, on the other hand in pogtopia, cared for c!wilbur up until the end. he became increasingly wary of c!wilbur, but he still cared. he had his moments, of course, where he didn’t care for c!wilbur as much, but he cared. quite a bit. he loved him, and at this point, c!tommy cared just as much. (it’s why he was so devastated when c!wilbur died.)

in limbo, c!wilbur cared for c!tommy a bit. in the beginning, mostly, the first couple of years in that train station, he cared for c!tommy. he hoped he was okay. he wanted him to be okay. he hoped he had a good life. but that started to dwindle, as the months piled up. he started becoming incredibly apathetic. by the time c!tommy died and visited c!wilbur in limbo, c!wilbur did not care for him at all. he did not give a shit that his little brother just got brutally beaten to death. 

during exile/ghostbur times, c!tommy cared for c!wilbur very little. he cared for ghostbur, sure, but c!wilbur? he was resentful and tired and didn’t really think much about how he would be fairing in afterlife. he thought he would be happy, but he didn’t really care, because he had bigger things to deal with. and then, during the worst of exile, he would feel horribly guilty for not caring about c!wilbur. 

and then in the early resurrection period, neither of them cared for each other that much. c!wilbur cared more than he did at the end of pogtopia, but not that much. not enough to ensure that he wasn’t accidentally hurting c!tommy. c!tommy cared a bit, enough to make sure that c!wilbur wasn’t going to spiral again, but he didn’t care about the minor things, the lesser things.

and then, as they healed, their care for each other began to grow again. c!wilbur did keep hurting c!tommy, but he didn’t necessarily realize it, and if he did, i believe he felt guilty and/or bad about it later on. c!tommy, now knowing not to trust c!wilbur, he was very wary on how much he let himself care for c!wilbur. by the time c!tommy opened up about exile, c!wilbur cared about him the most that he had in a while- almost late l’manburgian levels. and during boundless sands, he realized that if he truly cared for c!tommy’s well being and safety, he needed to let go. he was the problem, or at least a big part of it. it would hurt, yes, and c!tommy wouldn’t do so well in the beginning, but once he moved on, it would get better. c!tommy would be better than he ever could be with c!wilbur there. what c!wilbur didn’t realize, though, was that the period of not moving on could have worse consequences than just a bout of depression.

anyway that’s my rambling analysis. i haven’t actually watched too many lore streams so forgive me if i get things horribly wrong lol.

[vandyland3000]

The fine print in friendship

Chapter 2

Rishik

I love the school uniform. Controversial opening statement, I know. 

But something about the freshly pressed shirt and the school logo on the blazer gives me immense satisfaction. And that satisfaction has only grown since I became school captain.

Today is our first council meeting and I intend to show up looking on top of my game, to show Kritika she was wrong in labeling me as “laid back“. Not that I need to prove anything to her, but when she told me where the meeting was being held she said “Be on time, okay?” like I was incapable of punctuality. Yeah, well, screw her. I can be punctual.

***

I reached the meeting fifteen minutes late.

When I enter Kritika stops talking and looks at me she would rather I didn’t come at all. 

“Okay so if you have any questions about the forms call me over,” she gestures at me, “I have something to deal with.”

Some of them laugh as she walks to the front of the room.

I wave shamelessly because I'm cool like that, “I have an excellent reason-“

“Save it. for now, you can handle taking their forms once they’re done and type them out into the Excel sheet”

Clerical work. fair punishment I guess.

“I'll do it, as soon as you remind me which Excel sheet we’re talking about.“

She looks exasperated, “The one I sent you yesterday, email and all?” 

“I’m joking Kritika, I read it. You would know if you saw the edits I made in the document; you have horrendous punctuation.”

“It's not funny if it could mess with my tight-”

“-ten-week plan schedule, that is a bad title by the way. I edited that too”

She sighs in disbelief and rolls her eyes, walking towards the two chairs facing the council. I assume one of those chairs is mine. 

*****

The meeting goes well except for a few dumb questions from Nikhil which make me question his lQ level. For some reason Kritika seems more than happy to answer them which is great for me since I dont have to air my doubts about his intelligence openly.

“So the next meeting is on 4th August, we’ll see you then to discuss our school event. Please come up with suitable and creative event ideas by then. Do you want to add anything, Kritika?” 

“No that's all, thank you, everyone”

Once they all leave I turn to Kritika and hold up my hand but evidently, she’s never heard of high fives because she just raises an eyebrow and goes to get her planner

“What? you’re going to leave me hanging after a great first meeting?”

“Rishik, you were late”

“But I handled the rest-“

“Very very late”

“My bad”

she turns around from storming away “YES your bad. I had to be alone with the council and they kept looking at the clock and asking me when you would come to the meeting. You didn't set a very good example as co-captain.”

“That seems more like a me problem” this is the part where she’s supposed to laugh at my amazing sense of humor but she just keeps looking up at me blank faced.

I hold my hands up in surrender, “Okay I'm sorry princess you want me to touch your feet in apology or something”

She almost smiles at that “Just pinky promise me you won’t be late” She seems dead serious but pinky promise? even my younger sister stopped doing that a long time ago. I lock our little fingers together to humor her.

We’re walking back to our classes when out of nowhere Sahana jumps at Kritika and starts talking very fast and I can catch “project” and “I'm screwed”. She pauses when she realizes that I exist and says a breathless “Hi”. I smile and salute her then turn to Kritika 

“I'll go then?”. 

She nods at me and when I’m walking away I hear Sahana rambling again. I’ll ask her about it when I get home today. Unless she’s in the mood to talk about something else.

Now my only worry is getting to the ground for whatever is left of P.E.

For Chapter One:

[xxmolls]

***I just wrote this long ass post, posted it, and accidentally deleted the whole thing less than 20 min later. Here's a rewritten version.*** As long as I'm in the (ill-advised) habit of posting work-in-progress songs I'm writing and then rambling about the inspiration and writing process and things I need to fix... Here is a song I wrote tonight. It still has some work to be done on it. The recording is shitty... my voice and breath support have been struggling because of my recent bouts of anaphylaxis... but whatever. Song inspiration / spilling my guts about recent things going on in my life + songwriting nerdery + lyrics under the cut (it long):

My sister has been with a shitty abusive boyfriend for over 6 years now. He will do something fucked up and terrible, they will break up, and my family will be so excited that we are finally getting rid of him.

Each time, he will write her whining about how much he misses her, how he loves her, how she's the only one he has in his life so he's lonely and sad and he needs her... ... and she immediately goes running back to him.

About a month ago we were so hopeful that they had finally broken up for good. He had some manic break, kicked my sister out of their house, moved in some other girl, and cut off all contact with my sister. She moved back in with my parents, and started working on bettering her life.

She got a really good therapist to work with on her trauma (finally), she was legitimately sober for the first time in like... years, she got a job to support herself (he has purposefully made her financially dependent on him for years)... and in the absence of being yelled at and berated by him constantly, she became really pleasant to be around. I actually liked hanging out with her for the first time in... well... ever, and started to hope that maybe we could become friends and strengthen our relationship.

I have never been close with her. For most of our lives, I have felt more like someone who has to help take care of an incredibly fucked up and incompetent toddler than I have felt like a sister to her (at least from my point of view). But as she started to flourish and heal in her distance from him, our relationship began to strengthen. I even thought I may be able to rely and depend on her in the future instead of always being the one she relied on.

Of course, on the very first day of her new job, and after 4 weeks of ghosting her, he contacted her again. He said the usual things, how he missed her and loved her, and how lonely he was.

She immediately packed up her things and went running back to him, no matter how much our parents and I, basically her only stable support system, begged her not to (though we learned long ago that nothing we say to her makes a difference in what she chooses to do).

That was a few days ago, so I've been pretty upset about that. And tonight apparently that resulted in a song!

What I plan to work on in the song (since I do not want to deal with what I need to work on in the real life situation right now): The melody needs some work.

I need to get more comfortable with some of the vocal things (though to be fair I did just write it tonight). In the recording you can hear it's shaky in parts.

In particular, I think I need to start in a head voice in the pre-chorus and then switch quickly to chest voice. As my voice is pretty worn out right now, I am hoping after it heals and rests a bit I will be more capable vocally of making those voice switches more seamless and less shitty sounding. The bridge is similar to the pre-chorus and has the same issue. In the recording, I lost my place in the lyrics and ended up half-assing and shitifying the head voice part, so Future!Molly needs to work on that.

I'm also trying to find ways to make the verses sound more distinct from the chorus. They are virtually the same melody at the moment (and maybe the same chords). I think they need to sound more distinct. I don't know that I necessarily have to mess with the verse melody too much to do that. But that is a way I could change things.

I have been playing power chords on the verses and full open chords on the chorus to make them sound more distinct. I also think I could try to make the verses a bit quieter ... especially after the 1st chorus, so there's kind of an emotional jolt with that abrupt shift.

The song structure is a little wonky. I thought the song sounded too repetitive and that I repeated the chorus too much (you would think that since I have Tourette's I like repetitive songs, but they actually drive me completely up the wall). To deal with this I took out a chorus, made the 2nd verses go straight into the bridge and then from the bridge to the last chorus.

I don't know if that's the best way to do things for this song. It is certainly shorter that way... but doesn't drive me insane with the repetitiveness so that's a plus.

I also may change the very last line. I am playing around with the timing of it, and I also don't know if it's the best way to end the song with "I don't want to fall for you." My sister (if the song is about her) already fell for that motherfucker long ago unfortunately... so that's not a very logical ending (though is logic really necessary in a song about this shituation...). POST EDIT: wait, just realized “I don’t want to fall for you” has a double meaning. We’re good. That probably works fine. Could even title the song “Fall” or “Fall for You”

Anyway, after that long ramble about this song and things that Future!Molly is going to work on... here are the lyrics (if anyone is interested): Back 2 U (tentative title) I feel strong like my mind knows right from wrong I worked hard to stay this calm and clear-eyed Did my time even though my only crime was my mental decline running wild But you need chaos to thrive And you need to hurt to stay alive And you feel better when you're high and you want me to be flying by your side When you call I don't feel strong at all You know I'm gonna crawl back to you When you call you know I'm in your thrall But I don't want to take this fall for you Runs through my head that I'd be better off dead so all those pretty words you said would cast no spell They sink right in and pull me back to you again I think you're branded on my skin and you can tell All those little things you whispered to me All those little flaws you held over me All the dignity you squeezed out of me I'm terrified you'll never set me free 'Cause when you call I don't feel strong at all You know I'm gonna crawl back to you When you call you know I'm in your thrall but I don't want to take this fall for you I don't want to take this fall for you I don't want to fall for you

[shana-reviews-tmblr]

*cracks knuckles*

Strap yourselves in folks cause have I got some stories for you!

In order of apperance:

Tooncritic

ForNoGoodReason

YugiBrony <- Correction: This is VidaPony

StarGiantProductions

Lioconvoy

and finally, Zena and Poppy

Toon is self-explanatory BUT it should be noted and made aware that Lily had a grudge with him WAY before his notorious actions were made to light. Toon actually called out Lily for her more aggressive attitude and told her in a tweet (which she showed in a video) about how "Violence begets more violence" to which Lily mocked in a nasally voice.

So, lily using Toon in this is her acting as if their 1-time beef was an accomplishment of hers.

FNGR, and I can't believe I'm saying this, I kinda get. I use to watch his videos on Lily but good lord they do not age well and are actually Transphobic with how they use Lily's old puppet with a 5 o clock shadow, if I remember right FNGR never brought up her identity, but the images and their use did not age well and actually do make me wonder if he is transphobic or has that very out dated mentality of "this person is bad so they don't deserve fair treatment".

either way this is Lily's beef with him, which i get. though as far as him self-destructing, I think he's still making videos up to now so idk?

Vidapony I have the least knowledge on so i won't say anything.

Star Giant has a whole ass video on her that you can check out on youtube, but long story short this woman has issues and Lily's only beef with her was that Star made 3 to 5 3hr videos on Lily that were just rambles, Star self-destructed because they did some shitty stuff that deserved being called out.

Lio convoy is hilarious because guess what, when Toon's actions were revealed Lio made a video on it and one of them that mentions Lily HE ACTUALLY AGREED WITH HER

When Lily slandered Josh and the others claiming they knew about Toon, Lio bought the lie and mentioned how she was right, Lily is basically putting him here on her meme because Patchwork actually became friends with Lio, that's it. she had no interactions with hiim from my knowledge and the only time he mentioned her was during the tooncritic stuff, WHERE HE AGREED WITH HER. lol

lastly is Zena and Poppy both of whom were vocal about Lily's actions, but sadly have fallen out of favor with a lot of people who opened up to them about their experience with Lily when on twitter they asked Lily for a truce. but I'm pretty sure there's more to the story than I know outside of Courtney's falling out with them.

so yeah, that's who is on Lily's list here and her reasons for thinking she contributed to their self-destruction or that their self-destruction was after trying to milk off hating her is all inside that big empty head of hers

Toon had 1 beef with her on twitter

FNGR is the only one i can legit see her reason for hating him, but he's still doing content

Vidapony I have no knowledge of

Star was because of her many videos on Lily and her own shitty heinous actions to other people that Lily was not involved in.

Lio, because patchwork was friends with him, but his own issues caused his inner circle to break up

and Zena and Poppy cause they were the last people before Ant, Crim, and Sai came into Lily's spotlight, who called out Lily for what she did to people (though in Ant and the others case they called out Lily's questionable Media literacy)

Lily just can't help but needing to feel like she pwned people to make herself seem indestructible.

and hey Lily if you are some cursed artifact, which explains the negative vibes your soul spews,

then I would say Ant, Crim, Sai, and Joon are all like THIS guy:

who is an expert in dealing with dark magic and dispelling evil spirits

Who the fuck are these people? (Is that meant to be Joshscorcher? He's uh still postin with, about the same views as you've been gettin?)

And uh lily... uh idk how to tell you but uh you fucked up this meme... your supposed to uh show who is behind the next door

Why don't you wanna show that person :3 ??

[quotemenevervore]

Here’s part four! Few more warnings for this one just because of some of the things in it

Content warnings: threats or violence, fear, talk of death, character going feral, miscommunications and slight arguments, soft, safe, g/t vore

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Quackity has felt off since Sapnap had introduced them to his instincts and the potions he carries around. It’s not his fault, but something just felt.. incomplete. He just couldn’t puzzle it out on his own. He couldn’t go to Sapnap about these feelings, because he was one of the people that feeling circled around. Instead, he’d gone to Bad, though he hadn’t been much help since Quackity was an avian hybrid. When that became a bust, though he got a muffin out of it, he turned to the only other avian hybrid he knew on the server.

The shock on Philza’s face was pretty funny, but with the axe that Techno had been using to cut logs when Quackity arrived pressed against his back, he didn’t dare make a peep of laughter. “Hey, Quackity… Do you need something?” He was pretty perplexed on seeing the avian before him, looking rather nervous but that was to be expected with Techno looming over him. “I just needed to talk to you about something. It’s instinct wise, I figured you’d probably be able to help me better than anyone else.” That’s fair, Phil supposed. He had heard that Quackity was a duck hybrid, but he’d never seen the younger male display any kind of traits. Though, that was likely due to being pushed to hide his hybrid instincts or facing them alone. At least Phil had been open about it when he first arrived, or Quackity may not have had anyone to go to.

“Well, come on in, then. I just finished getting some tea ready.” He smiled, trying to appear hospitable, and through the nervous look on the other’s face, he was rewarded with seeing relief relax his tense form a bit. Phil motioned for him to follow, leading him to the living room and sitting him down on the couch. “Techno, do you want to go finish cutting logs for the fireplace?” The piglin snorted in response. “And leave you alone with him?” Quackity barely suppressed a flinch at the hostility of his tone, but Phil caught it. He’d also noticed that the fellow avian hybrid hadn’t come with any weapons, and wasn’t even dressed up, just appearing in a casual attire of pants and a jacket. Of course, he could be hiding weapons, but Phil seriously doubted it. “I think we’ll be fine. Besides, you don’t wanna sit here and listen to us go on about avian instincts and biology, you’ll get bored. You know it all already.” He offered the pinkette a look that demanded no argument against his words, a look that the other would recognize as his I can handle myself look. “Fine. But I won't be long.” “That’s fine too. I don’t think it’ll take much for us to talk through this, though you’re free to the library if we are still talking when you come in.” Techno exhaled sharply, but nodded and left through the door he walked the blackette through.

Only then did Phil allow himself to go to the kitchen and get the tea he promised. When he returned, the other was slumped over in the seat, breath still stuttering but better than when he’d arrived. “So what’s going on?” He set the steaming mug in front of the younger, who gratefully picked it up to have something to warm his hands with. “It’s just… Sapnap found out he had some instincts that weren’t active until recently, and I’ve been helping him with it. And I don’t mind! It’s just.. I’ve felt kinda weird since then? Like his is an instinct based on protecting kids, and it’s just been kinda messing with me, I don’t want him to feel bad though. If any of that makes sense?”

Phil took a sip of his tea, mulling over what Quackity just told- more like rambled to- him. Without really knowing which instinct Sapnap was dealing with, he couldn’t really say for sure what it could be. Though he would consider himself pretty familiar with netherborn instincts and traits, thanks to his roommate. With it being an instinct relating to children, though, one came to mind.

“Sounds to me like you’re dealing with nesting instincts, mate.” “Nesting instincts?” Maybe going to the old man wasn’t a good idea after all. “Yea. It’s when you-“ “No, I know what nesting instincts are. Sap and Karl have helped me with it before, it’s just never made me feel this bad. It’s like the opposite, really.” Phil only gave a hum in response, watching the other’s nervous actions as he took another drink of his tea. “What exactly do you think caused these feelings?” “Sapnap’s got netherborn instincts, and me and Karl have been helping him with them. It was fine at first but now I’m feeling like this and it feels weird to let him-“ he cut himself off abruptly, gritting his teeth to stay quiet. “…I take it you’re not allowed to tell?” “Not my place to.” He took a swig from the steaming cup, trying to ignore the fact that it scalded his throat. He wasn’t often one to drink hot beverages, and so he wasn’t really used to the waiting time before it was cool enough to drink without getting hurt. “So, Sapnap’s been having instinct problems and you’ve been helping him, which worked out fine at first but now it doesn’t. Could it be a dominance issue?” “Do you have dominance issues with Techno?” “Techno’s instincts are a little different than mine, but you’d be surprised at how many netherborns and avians have in common.” He perked up instantly. “Really?” Phil only smiled. “Wait, okay..” Quackity mulled over the information he’d just been given, even though it was practically crumbs.

“There is a chance you and Sapnap could be having similar instincts, and that’s why it’s made you feel strangely.” Phil went ahead and puzzled the pieces together as Quackity continued to think on it. “But there’s no way for me to do it safely.” When a ghost of a smirk appeared on Phil’s face, he realized he’d fucked up. “So it is nesting instincts.” “How!? That’s not nesting instincts!?” His wings puffed out defensively, and Phil was quick to calm the blackette down. “You have to let me finish, before you get worked up. Your tea should be cool enough to drink so that it won’t hurt you now.” With a pout at being called out for even that, he tried to fold his wings back up, taking another drink from the now warm mug.

“Nesting instincts can go one of two ways: the first you already know of, setting up a nest out of blankets, pillows, practically anything you can find along with your loved ones’ belongings. The other is literally the opposite. Instead of making a nest, you make yourself the nest. Most avian hybrids have a crop, which is a fancy way of saying a second stomach. It can behave the same way a brooding pouch does.”

Quackity could only sit there and blink at the information he’d just recieved. The biology one wasn’t a shocker, he’d gotten used to having to manually move the food he ate from his crop to his stomach. But the instincts, and being able to use his crop the same way Sapnap does his storage stomach?

Of course he felt uncomfortable when Sapnap stored him, it was because he wanted to be the one storing them!

“Did I get it right?” Phil asked after the other avian stared at his mug for a few seconds too long for his liking. “Yea. Yea, you did. I didn’t think a crop could be used like that.” He responded with a soft chuckle. “Jesus, I didn’t even know avians and netherborns could have their instincts so aligned.”

“You really were never taught anything, were you?” Quackity jumped at the voice behind him, head snapping back to look at the Piglin behind him. “How long have you been there!?” He tried to hide his fear, but his voice still had a tremble to it. “Long enough. Maybe I should let you stay just so you can get all the information you’ve apparently been missing out on.” The blackette’s face turned red, but he ducked his head down to keep the other two from seeing it. He missed the glare Phil shot Techno’s way as he did. “It’s alright, mate. Not everyone is taught this kind of stuff from birth. You’re not the first hybrid I’ve helped with instincts and such. I have a book on it, if you’d rather that?”

“Yeah. Yea, I would, cause I’ve gotta get going. It’s my night to cook dinner and I don’t want the other two to worry about me.” And I need to get the fuck away from Techno. Thankfully, Phil got the hint, standing to go retrieve the book. Techno followed, which allowed the avian to fully relax since he’d stepped into the house. Once the duo returned, he’d already put his empty mug in the sink after rinsing it out, and was standing close to the door. Phil wished him luck as he gave him the book, and Quackity ducked out the door and out of the arctic as fast as he could.

~~~~~

When he’d gotten home to start dinner, Sapnap wasn’t waiting on the couch like he usually was. He found Karl in the kitchen, table set and ingredients laid out. He was just setting the last tomato down on the counter when he noticed the other’s presence. “You’re back!” He walked over to greet him with a hug, kissing him on the cheek as he wrapped his arms around him. “I am.” He smiled, returning the affection. “Where’s Sapnap? Usually he hangs out on the couch.” He pulled back from the hug so the other could answer, only to see the brunette's smile dim to a grimace, looking away to the ingredients. “He got kinda upset earlier while he was out. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just said he wanted to be alone. I can’t remember who he’d said he was with, but I guess someone said something about his friends or us.”

Quackity frowned. When he’d been leaving that morning, Sapnap had told him he was heading out to see Dream and George. The three had been on pretty good terms since the fireborn came clean about his instincts, so for him to come home upset meant something had to be really bothering him. “Would you be okay to cook dinner while I go check on him?” “Of course! Maybe he’ll talk to you.” “I’ll definitely try.” The two separated, Karl turning to wash his hands and begin dinner and Quackity turning to head to their shared room.

A light knock was all he needed before he heard an answer. “Not now, Karl.” “Wrong fiancé.” Quackity opened the door, poking his head in but not stepping in. Sapnap was simply sitting against the headboard of the bed, legs pulled up to his chest and arms resting over his knees. He didn’t look too upset, but he definitely didn’t seem happy. “Can I come in?” It took a long minute for the other to answer, and unease began to gnaw at his stomach. Did he do something that upset Sapnap? “Yea.” He closed the door gently behind him before moving to the other side of the bed to climb in beside him.

“What happened today?” A shrug started his response. “Not much. Hung out with Dream and George. Some things got said, I’m sure Karl filled you in.” “All Karl told me was that you wouldn’t talk to him about it.” When the orange eyes snapped over to him, he had the feeling something hadn’t been said. “He seriously- ugh, never mind. You’ve been acting off lately, Q. I don’t know if I did something to upset you or not, and I was talking to the guys about it and they joked around that maybe you were just pretending to be okay with being stored and it got me worked up.”

“It’s not about that!” “Then what is it about? I don’t like not knowing what’s wrong if there’s a chance I can fix it.” “It..” Quackity sighed. “It is about the storing thing. BUT!” He cut off any retort Sapnap could have made, not wanting him to continue to make himself feel bad. “It’s not that bad. I do like being stored, I’m happy that it’s something that makes you happy. But I started feeling weird whenever we did it, and I couldn’t figure out why.” He took a breath before continuing, knowing what he’d say next would upset the man beside him. It’s why he never told either of his fiancés where he was going; They knew all too well the bad blood between him, Phil and Techno. “I went to Philza today.” “You what!?” “I know, okay? Techno had his axe to my back for a good while before Phil told him to back off. He’s the only avian hybrid I know, Sap. He would have been the only one with answers if it was instincts. And I did go to Bad first, to be fair.” “Let me see your back, make sure he didn’t damage any fucking feathers.” He didn’t argue, simply shrugging his jacket off and letting the other pull his shirt up to check. “Phil was able to help me figure it out, though.” “What did he say?” The avian tried not to shiver as a warm hand trailed up his spine, trying to make sure no part of his skin or wings were injured. Which, he understood, he hadn’t checked before he came back, but he had noticed that there was no hole in his jacket from the blade. “Well, it turns out we both have similar instincts. He and Techno do, too.” The hand pulled away, and he helped smooth his shirt back out. “What do you mean by that?” “I have an organ called a crop. It’s similar to your pouch, but it’s actually connected to my stomach. Nothing can accidentally get put any further though, I’d have to manually do it. I think you can figure out the instinct part on your own.” Sapnap had placed himself in front of Quackity after helping him fix his shirt, and the Mexican had a perfect view as the implication hit him.

“You have storing instincts too?” “Phil called them nesting instincts, but yea.” He gave the other a smile, which turned into a yelp as he was tackled into a hug, his head bouncing off of the headboard. “Oww, Sapnap what the fuck!?” “Don’t fucking scare me like that again! I thought I was making you upset and that was why you were getting reclusive.” “I have not been reclusive!” “Yea, cause me and Karl haven’t been talking about it.” He shot back, helping the other sit back up. “I think you’re just mad you’ll have to share Karlos with me on this too.” Sapnap gave a huff. “You’re an idiot.” “I’m your idiot, though.” He chuckled. “Yeah, I guess you are. Wanna go check on Karl?” “Yea.”

The brunette in question was getting the plates ready to take to the dining room, visibly brightening when he saw the formerly upset fireborn with a smile. “So, Quackity has news.” He started, pulling the other into a hug and whispering something into his ear. At first the avian was confused, but he put it together when Karl hugged him tighter and he could make out the man whispering “it’s okay,” to the blackette. Both pulled away after a moment. “Well, if Q has news for us then let’s go ahead and eat.” “Yeah, I’d rather wait until after to say anything, if that’s alright.” Karl nodded, picking up his plate and reaching for another when Sapnap stepped forward and grabbed the other two. “I can carry my own plate.” Quackity huffed. He was ignored as the fireborn walked over to the table, setting it down at his spot. Pouting, he followed. They ate in relative silence, talking about things that didn’t involve anyone’s day. At least, until Sapnap inevitably couldn’t wait any longer.

“We may have had a misunderstanding.” “About?” “Everything. Q wasn’t being reclusive on purpose, Dream and George were wrong about their assumption. Now you need to come clean about today.” He directed the last statement to Quackity, who grimaced when he knew exactly what the other was referring to.

“I went to Bad today because Sapnap storing me was making me feel off. Not bad, just, weird. Bad couldn’t really help me because he’s a netherborn and not an avian.” “I already don’t like where this is going.” Karl interrupted. “You’re really not going to. Continue, Q.” Sapnap responded. “Right, so before you guys interrupted me, I was gonna say that I.. may have gone to Philza’s house.” “Why!?” “He’s an avian! He’d know what was going on with me. Trust me, I paid the price for that fucking decision.” “I already checked him, no injuries. But Techno held an axe blade to his back.” “Quackity, you need to tell us before you do stuff like that! What if he killed you?” “I know! I know, but I already felt bad and I know neither of you like the cold. It turned out okay, and I won’t even have to go back because Phil literally gave me a book on avian hybrids, which has everything I need to know for the future.” Both of his fiancés relaxed instantly upon hearing that.

“Okay. Just, please don’t do that kind of thing again, okay? What are we supposed to think if you just sneak off and never come back?”

“It’s never gonna happen again, Karl. Promise.”

He offered the man a smile, hoping to ease the upset he’d caused. The brunette stood up, storming over to Quackity’s chair before yanking the other into a hug. “We care about you, Q. We don’t wanna lose you.” The avian only hugged tighter. “You won’t. I love you, and I’m sorry for upsetting you. You too, Sapnap. I’m sorry about all of this.” He looked at the fireborn, who had also stood up. He was met with a fond smile, not a single trace of anger in his eyes. “Let’s go to the couch so we can all actually cuddle.”

They all helped clean up the kitchen and table, getting it done as fast as they could so that they could go to the couch and wind down. When they finally made it there, Quackity had been pushed into the middle so the two could lean against him and he could wrap his arms around them. “So, what did Philza find out, anyway?” “Nesting instincts.” Karl pulled a face, almost making him laugh. “Really? They’ve never been like this before.” “There’s apparently two types of nesting instincts. Same with Sap, I guess mine just never needed to be active until they were triggered.” “What were they triggered by? And what does the second nesting instinct entail?” “I triggered it. When I told you guys about my instincts, it set his off.” Karl sat up, eyes widening as he processed that statement. “No way.” Quackity pulled his hand away, the sudden switch in Karl’s behavior making him anxious. “I have an organ that’s similar to Sapnap’s, and I now have instincts for it too. I’ve always known about the organ, I just never thought it was important to bring up before.”

“You say it’s similar. Is it different than his?” “Same concept, but mine is actually attached to my real stomach. So all my food winds up there before it actually... yeah.” He couldn’t say the word, suddenly becoming appalled with the idea of telling them. “It’s safe, though. He has to consciously push the food lower, so if he were to store treasure or people like I do, it’s still safe because he’d know not to push it further.” Sapnap reached over him to take Karl’s hand, but his words and actions simply became static to him. He knew he needed to calm down. Logically, he knew he was getting worked up for nothing. But there was underlying danger to his instincts. What if it scared them? He didn’t wanna scare Karl off, and if he did-

A weight suddenly threw itself on top of him, and it shocked him enough to pull him back to reality. He blinked a few times, registering where he was before looking down. It was Karl. He’d thrown himself onto him to make him snap back. He knew that for a fact because he and Sapnap had done it to him before to help pull him from a panic attack. Forcing himself to take a few deep breaths, he brought his arm up to hug the other. Sapnap leaned more into him, and for a moment there was just peace. The only thing that soured it was the uneasy feeling still nestled in his gut.

“You okay?” Karl broke the quiet, speaking softly as if he hadn’t wanted to shatter it. He only nodded, unable to say anything. His frazzled brain was barely making cohesive thoughts, simply diving into instincts.

Bad? Bad, danger near. Protect mates. Can’t. Mates are too big, can’t protect them. Need to move.

Need to hide.

An upset warble escaped from the avian, and both of his fiancés looked at one another. “Quackity?”

Mate? Mate okay, mate not scared. Danger near?

His head jerked to follow his eyes as he looked around for any kind of threat. A small chirp was the only reply that Sapnap received. “Oh no.” “Is he okay?” “I think he’s mentally checked out. I don’t think he’s registering anything.” “Oh.”

Mates? Mates making strange noises. Are mates okay? Is there danger near?

“…Is there anything we can do to help him?” “I don’t know. Here, Q, let me see you real quick.” Sapnap used his hand to turn the avian’s head to him, and inhaled sharply at the extremely dilated eyes that returned his look. “He’s bad, Karl.”

Mate sad? Mate scared? Danger near?

Another chirp, but this time his hands moved to poke and prod at the fireborn. “Wh-hey! What are you doing?” He wasn’t messing around, and he’s so far gone in instincts he couldn’t even begin to decipher a thought in his head. But the touches weren’t rough, and if he knew any better he’d almost guess that he was..

That he was checking him over for injuries. When it clicked, Sapnap relaxed somewhat. “Okay, I think I’ve got it.” “Got what?” “He got so worked up and now his instincts are telling him none of us are safe. Can you grab a shrinking potion for me?” Karl had to climb over the couch to prevent the other from seeing him and holding him in an iron grip like he was doing to Sapnap. He lay in his lover’s grasp, waiting for his other fiancé to return and trying not to overthink the situation.

The last time he’d been stored, it had been by Bad. He was becoming a teenager, and was of course doing stupid things, and Bad thought he’d give him a time out. That was how Skeppy found out about it, and why Bad swore off storing anything since. His last time being stored had been full of fear on several different parties, and at the time it had made him scared.

Quackity was scared, he was worried, and Karl was likely a good mix of both. He forced himself to calm down. It’ll be okay, he repeated to himself. It’s just Quackity. Karl returned quickly with the shrinking potion, winding up having to feed it to him when he couldn’t free his hands from the other’s grip without a sad and panicked chirp and the grip tightening making him wince. Karl stayed back a good amount of space, simply watching as the man shrink down from his usual height down to roughly four inches. At least he’s still the shortest, he mused.

Quackity stared down at the other in shock, instincts turning haywire. Mate small! Mate suddenly small. Protect mate. No danger? Protect mate. Other mate seems scared. Danger? Danger near? Protect mate. Without any kind of delay, he slipped the smaller man into his mouth, teeth clicking shut once all his limbs were out of the way. With no kind of resistance, he easily slicked the other up to make the journey easier on both of them. His body and brain were still on autopilot, and he couldn’t even recognize any kind of signal he was getting. He couldn’t even taste the other, simply going through the actions so he could send him to his crop.

Sapnap decided that he’d much rather prefer doing this when the other was awake and alert. The complete silence, the lack of any kind of emotion to his actions, it was just unnerving to deal with. He still forced himself to relax, not letting himself get any more worked up. He needed Q to relax, and if this was how, this was how. Even when he was pushed back, he didn’t fight. In fact, he voluntarily relaxed. At least this part is familiar no matter who does it. It’s always a little unpleasant because of how tight it was, but that didn’t matter, because he wouldn’t be dealing with this almost robot Quackity. It’d be like getting stored by Bad again. He closed his eyes, letting his body relax fully as the first swallow began tugging his legs down.

Karl hesitated between staying where he was and making sure Sapnap stayed unharmed or going to sit by Quackity and making sure he started coming out of the haze. His hesitancy only grew as the avian completely seemed to zone out the second his mouth closed.

It was when he swallowed that he decided to be by him. At least if he started choking, then he might be able to save both of them. As he sat down beside the other, he jumped, head snapping up to look at him. “Hey, it’s okay.” He tried not to look at the other’s throat, instead keeping eye contact as he grabbed his hands. He was only answered by a chirp, but he expected it, rubbing circles onto the other’s knuckles. Sapnap had been right when he’d said it was bad, he thought, unable to tell where the avian’s pupils ended and his irises started. They simply sat like that for a moment, Karl beginning to wonder if he was going to stay like that all night before the blackette suddenly jumped, blinking rapidly as he tried to pull himself together. “You okay?” He turned to look at the other, and Karl almost heaved a sigh of relief when his eyes looked normal. “Um…” he looked around, trying to recognize his surroundings. “I guess. What happened?” “You were panicking. We tried to pull you out of it, but then you just went completely instinctual. You weren’t even responding, just.. chirping.” “Where’s Sapnap?” The tone of his voice made the brunette sad, hearing the abrupt fear and worry that tinged his words. “He never left, Quackity.” “That doesn’t make me feel better.”

When he’d made a guess to where Quackity had been when Sapnap did it the first time, he’d been wrong. But he also didn’t really know how to explain that in his instinct-filled haze he’d swallowed the fireborn to try and reassure himself they were all safe, so instead he took a wild guess where his crop would be and pressed a hand to Quackity’s chest. He found out he was right with a shove against his hand and the avian freezing under him.

“He didn’t.” “He agreed to it. He thought it’d be the only way we could pull you out of that state. And it worked, didn’t it?” When he looked up to the other’s face, the humorous tone escaped him completely. His fiancé was on the brink of tears, looking completely horrified with himself. He suddenly leaned forward, pulling his legs to his chest and letting his head fall onto his knees with a thunk. “Hey!” Karl’s hand had been moved when the other had, and he placed it on his shoulder. “Quackity, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry, Sapnap. I’m sorry.” “It was his idea, Q. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He kept mumbling apologies, and Karl felt lost on anything he could do to help him through this. “Uh.. if it’s bothering you that badly then you could let him out?” Quackity was getting ready to reply when he heard Sapnap growl in response.

“Don’t you fucking dare.” “It’s not fair to you!” “It is more than fair, Quackity! I wasn’t gonna make Karl do it when I’ve dealt with this since my childhood! It was my idea.” “That doesn’t make it okay.” “It made you okay. That’s what I’m concerned about.” The fireborn sighed, pushing his soaked bangs out of his eyes with an equally soaked hand. He’d been trying to calm him down along with Karl, but all he did was keep panicking. He didn’t want to get angry, but his stubborn fiancé wouldn’t listen until he did. “It’s not good to get so worried that you practically go feral. We needed to snap you out of it.”

“… I don’t want to leave you in there.” “You said these instincts have been bothering you. Is this not helping?” “It is, but-“ “Then that’s that. You said yourself that this is safe, so there’s no problem with me staying overnight. That should keep the feeling at bay for a while, at least.”

Quackity groaned, and Sapnap could just envision him slapping a palm over his eyes. “You’re impossible.” “And?” “…Thank you.” He spoke very quietly, as if any louder would break him. “You do it for me all the time, Q. I don’t mind helping you in return.” Sighing, the avian uncurled, hands resting uneasily on his lap. At least, until he was gently pushed over so that he was laying down, with his head resting on the armrest of the sofa. Before he could ask why, Karl had already slotted himself into his arms, resting his head on his chest. “All this instinct stuff is gonna be the death of me, I swear.” Quackity gave a small chuckle, bringing his arms up to wrap around the other. “Sorry, Karl.” “It’s okay. I just hope everything’s alright between you two now.” “Yea, it is.” “Good.”

The two lay comfortably for a while, enjoying the calm peace that resolving this problem brought. That is, until Sapnap decided to have some fun.

A surprised chirp escaped the avian as he felt small hands run along the walls of his crop. “What are you doing?” “Returning the favor.” He wanted to retort, he really did, but a pleased trill came out instead which turned his face a bright pink. Karl laughed upon seeing it. “You’re making him blush, Sapnap.” He spoke loudly, unsure if his small fiancé could hear him through the wall of flesh and muscle separating them. Though, he knew Quackity did, just from how much more he flushed in response, looking away with a small pout.

Sapnap only laughed in response, doubling his efforts and getting rewarded with feeling the Mexican relax fully, practically turning into putty around him. He knew the feeling all too well. He only stopped when his arms were exhausted and he could hear the blackette’s breathing slow.

The night ended with the trio falling asleep on the couch, Quackity being the first to fall asleep and the other two following quickly after. And Sapnap, despite being wary of how this time had gone, was looking forward to when his avian wanted to do this again.