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mostlysignssomeportents · 3 months ago

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“Disenshittify or Die”

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I'm coming to BURNING MAN! On TUESDAY (Aug 27) at 1PM, I'm giving a talk called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE!" at PALENQUE NORTE (7&E). On WEDNESDAY (Aug 28) at NOON, I'm doing a "Talking Caterpillar" Q&A at LIMINAL LABS (830&C).

Last weekend, I traveled to Las Vegas for Defcon 32, where I had the immense privilege of giving a solo talk on Track 1, entitled "Disenshittify or die! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification":

https://info.defcon.org/event/?id=54861

This was a followup to last year's talk, "An Audacious Plan to Halt the Internet's Enshittification," a talk that kicked off a lot of international interest in my analysis of platform decay ("enshittification"):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rimtaSgGz_4

The Defcon organizers have earned a restful week or two, and that means that the video of my talk hasn't yet been posted to Defcon's Youtube channel, so in the meantime, I thought I'd post a lightly edited version of my speech crib. If you're headed to Burning Man, you can hear me reprise this talk at Palenque Norte (7&E); I'm kicking off their lecture series on Tuesday, Aug 27 at 1PM.

What the fuck happened to the old, good internet?

I mean, sure, our bosses were a little surveillance-happy, and they were usually up for sharing their data with the NSA, and whenever there was a tossup between user security and growth, it was always YOLO time.

But Google Search used to work. Facebook used to show you posts from people you followed. Uber used to be cheaper than a taxi and pay the driver more than a cabbie made. Amazon used to sell products, not Shein-grade self-destructing dropshipped garbage from all-consonant brands. Apple used to defend your privacy, rather than spying on you with your no-modifications-allowed Iphone.

There was a time when you searching for an album on Spotify would get you that album – not a playlist of insipid AI-generated covers with the same name and art.

Microsoft used to sell you software – sure, it was buggy – but now they just let you access apps in the cloud, so they can watch how you use those apps and strip the features you use the most out of the basic tier and turn them into an upcharge.

What – and I cannot stress this enough – the fuck happened?!

I’m talking about enshittification.

Here’s what enshittification looks like from the outside: First, you see a company that’s being good to its end users. Google puts the best search results at the top; Facebook shows you a feed of posts from people and groups you followl; Uber charges small dollars for a cab; Amazon subsidizes goods and returns and shipping and puts the best match for your product search at the top of the page.

That’s stage one, being good to end users. But there’s another part of this stage, call it stage 1a). That’s figuring out how to lock in those users.

There’s so many ways to lock in users.

If you’re Facebook, the users do it for you. You joined Facebook because there were people there you wanted to hang out with, and other people joined Facebook to hang out with you.

That’s the old “network effects” in action, and with network effects come “the collective action problem." Because you love your friends, but goddamn are they a pain in the ass! You all agree that FB sucks, sure, but can you all agree on when it’s time to leave?

No way.

Can you agree on where to go next?

Hell no.

You’re there because that’s where the support group for your rare disease hangs out, and your bestie is there because that’s where they talk with the people in the country they moved away from, then there’s that friend who coordinates their kid’s little league car pools on FB, and the best dungeon master you know isn’t gonna leave FB because that’s where her customers are.

So you’re stuck, because even though FB use comes at a high cost – your privacy, your dignity and your sanity – that’s still less than the switching cost you’d have to bear if you left: namely, all those friends who have taken you hostage, and whom you are holding hostage

Now, sometimes companies lock you in with money, like Amazon getting you to prepay for a year’s shipping with Prime, or to buy your Audible books on a monthly subscription, which virtually guarantees that every shopping search will start on Amazon, after all, you’ve already paid for it.

Sometimes, they lock you in with DRM, like HP selling you a printer with four ink cartridges filled with fluid that retails for more than $10,000/gallon, and using DRM to stop you from refilling any of those ink carts or using a third-party cartridge. So when one cart runs dry, you have to refill it or throw away your investment in the remaining three cartridges and the printer itself.

Sometimes, it’s a grab bag:

You can’t run your Ios apps without Apple hardware;

you can’t run your Apple music, books and movies on anything except an Ios app;

your iPhone uses parts pairing – DRM handshakes between replacement parts and the main system – so you can’t use third-party parts to fix it; and

every OEM iPhone part has a microscopic Apple logo engraved on it, so Apple can demand that the US Customs and Border Service seize any shipment of refurb Iphone parts as trademark violations.

Think Different, amirite?

Getting you locked in completes phase one of the enshittification cycle and signals the start of phase two: making things worse for you to make things better for business customers.

For example, a platform might poison its search results, like Google selling more and more of its results pages to ads that are identified with lighter and lighter tinier and tinier type.

Or Amazon selling off search results and calling it an “ad” business. They make $38b/year on this scam. The first result for your search is, on average, 29% more expensive than the best match for your search. The first row is 25% more expensive than the best match. On average, the best match for your search is likely to be found seventeen places down on the results page.

Other platforms sell off your feed, like Facebook, which started off showing you the things you asked to see, but now the quantum of content from the people you follow has dwindled to a homeopathic residue, leaving a void that Facebook fills with things that people pay to show you: boosted posts from publishers you haven’t subscribed to, and, of course, ads.

Now at this point you might be thinking ‘sure, if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.'

Bullshit!

Bull.

Shit.

The people who buy those Google ads? They pay more every year for worse ad-targeting and more ad-fraud

Those publishers paying to nonconsensually cram their content into your Facebook feed? They have to do that because FB suppresses their ability to reach the people who actually subscribed to them

The Amazon sellers with the best match for your query have to outbid everyone else just to show up on the first page of results. It costs so much to sell on Amazon that between 45-51% of every dollar an independent seller brings in has to be kicked up to Don Bezos and the Amazon crime family. Those sellers don’t have the kind of margins that let them pay 51% They have to raise prices in order to avoid losing money on every sale.

"But wait!" I hear you say!

[Come on, say it!]

"But wait! Things on Amazon aren’t more expensive that things at Target, or Walmart, or at a mom and pop store, or direct from the manufacturer.

"How can sellers be raising prices on Amazon if the price at Amazon is the same as at is everywhere else?"

[Any guesses?!]

That’s right, they charge more everywhere. They have to. Amazon binds its sellers to a policy called “most favored nation status,” which says they can’t charge more on Amazon than they charge elsewhere, including direct from their own factory store.

So every seller that wants to sell on Amazon has to raise their prices everywhere else.

Now, these sellers are Amazon’s best customers. They’re paying for the product, and they’re still getting screwed.

Paying for the product doesn’t fill your vapid boss’s shriveled heart with so much joy that he decides to stop trying to think of ways to fuck you over.

Look at Apple. Remember when Apple offered every Ios user a one-click opt out for app-based surveillance? And 96% of users clicked that box?

(The other four percent were either drunk or Facebook employees or drunk Facebook employees.)

That cost Facebook at least ten billion dollars per year in lost surveillance revenue?

I mean, you love to see it.

But did you know that at the same time Apple started spying on Ios users in the same way that Facebook had been, for surveillance data to use to target users for its competing advertising product?

Your Iphone isn’t an ad-supported gimme. You paid a thousand fucking dollars for that distraction rectangle in your pocket, and you’re still the product. What’s more, Apple has rigged Ios so that you can’t mod the OS to block its spying.

If you’re not not paying for the product, you’re the product, and if you are paying for the product, you’re still the product.

Just ask the farmers who are expected to swap parts into their own busted half-million dollar, mission-critical tractors, but can’t actually use those parts until a technician charges them $200 to drive out to the farm and type a parts pairing unlock code into their console.

John Deere’s not giving away tractors. Give John Deere a half mil for a tractor and you will be the product.

Please, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Please! Stop saying ‘if you’re not paying for the product, you’re the product.’

OK, OK, so that’s phase two of enshittification.

Phase one: be good to users while locking them in.

Phase two: screw the users a little to you can good to business customers while locking them in.

Phase three: screw everybody and take all the value for yourself. Leave behind the absolute bare minimum of utility so that everyone stays locked into your pile of shit.

Enshittification: a tragedy in three acts.

That’s what enshittification looks like from the outside, but what’s going on inside the company? What is the pathological mechanism? What sci-fi entropy ray converts the excellent and useful service into a pile of shit?

That mechanism is called twiddling. Twiddling is when someone alters the back end of a service to change how its business operates, changing prices, costs, search ranking, recommendation criteria and other foundational aspects of the system.

Digital platforms are a twiddler’s utopia. A grocer would need an army of teenagers with pricing guns on rollerblades to reprice everything in the building when someone arrives who’s extra hungry.

Whereas the McDonald’s Investments portfolio company Plexure advertises that it can use surveillance data to predict when an app user has just gotten paid so the seller can tack an extra couple bucks onto the price of their breakfast sandwich.

And of course, as the prophet William Gibson warned us, ‘cyberspace is everting.' With digital shelf tags, grocers can change prices whenever they feel like, like the grocers in Norway, whose e-ink shelf tags change the prices 2,000 times per day.

Every Uber driver is offered a different wage for every job. If a driver has been picky lately, the job pays more. But if the driver has been desperate enough to grab every ride the app offers, the pay goes down, and down, and down.

The law professor Veena Dubal calls this ‘algorithmic wage discrimination.' It’s a prime example of twiddling.

Every youtuber knows what it’s like to be twiddled. You work for weeks or months, spend thousands of dollars to make a video, then the algorithm decides that no one – not your own subscribers, not searchers who type in the exact name of your video – will see it.

Why? Who knows? The algorithm’s rules are not public.

Because content moderation is the last redoubt of security through obscurit: they can’t tell you what the como algorithm is downranking because then you’d cheat.

Youtube is the kind of shitty boss who docks every paycheck for all the rules you’ve broken, but won’t tell you what those rules were, lest you figure out how to break those rules next time without your boss catching you.

Twiddling can also work in some users’ favor, of course. Sometimes platforms twiddle to make things better for end users or business customers.

For example, Emily Baker-White from Forbes revealed the existence of a back-end feature that Tiktok’s management can access they call the “heating tool.”

When a manager applies the heating toll to a performer’s account, that performer’s videos are thrust into the feeds of millions of users, without regard to whether the recommendation algorithm predicts they will enjoy that video.

Why would they do this? Well, here’s an analogy from my boyhood I used to go to this traveling fair that would come to Toronto at the end of every summer, the Canadian National Exhibition. If you’ve been to a fair like the Ex, you know that you can always spot some guy lugging around a comedically huge teddy bear.

Nominally, you win that teddy bear by throwing five balls in a peach-basket, but to a first approximation, no one has ever gotten five balls to stay in that peach-basket.

That guy “won” the teddy bear when a carny on the midway singled him out and said, "fella, I like your face. Tell you what I’m gonna do: You get just one ball in the basket and I’ll give you this keychain, and if you amass two keychains, I’ll let you trade them in for one of these galactic-scale teddy-bears."

That’s how the guy got his teddy bear, which he now has to drag up and down the midway for the rest of the day.

Why the hell did that carny give away the teddy bear? Because it turns the guy into a walking billboard for the midway games. If that dopey-looking Judas Goat can get five balls into a peach basket, then so can you.

Except you can’t.

Tiktok’s heating tool is a way to give away tactical giant teddy bears. When someone in the TikTok brain trust decides they need more sports bros on the platform, they pick one bro out at random and make him king for the day, heating the shit out of his account.

That guy gets a bazillion views and he starts running around on all the sports bro forums trumpeting his success: *I am the Louis Pasteur of sports bro influencers!"

The other sports bros pile in and start retooling to make content that conforms to the idiosyncratic Tiktok format. When they fail to get giant teddy bears of their own, they assume that it’s because they’re doing Tiktok wrong, because they don’t know about the heating tool.

But then comes the day when the TikTok Star Chamber decides they need to lure in more astrologers, so they take the heat off that one lucky sports bro, and start heating up some lucky astrologer.

Giant teddy bears are all over the place: those Uber drivers who were boasting to the NYT ten years ago about earning $50/hour? The Substackers who were rolling in dough? Joe Rogan and his hundred million dollar Spotify payout? Those people are all the proud owners of giant teddy bears, and they’re a steal.

Because every dollar they get from the platform turns into five dollars worth of free labor from suckers who think they just internetting wrong.

Giant teddy bears are just one way of twiddling. Platforms can play games with every part of their business logic, in highly automated ways, that allows them to quickly and efficiently siphon value from end users to business customers and back again, hiding the pea in a shell game conducted at machine speeds, until they’ve got everyone so turned around that they take all the value for themselves.

That’s the how: How the platforms do the trick where they are good to users, then lock users in, then maltreat users to be good to business customers, then lock in those business customers, then take all the value for themselves.

So now we know what is happening, and how it is happening, all that’s left is why it’s happening.

Now, on the one hand, the why is pretty obvious. The less value that end-users and business customers capture, the more value there is left to divide up among the shareholders and the executives.

That’s why, but it doesn’t tell you why now. Companies could have done this shit at any time in the past 20 years, but they didn’t. Or at least, the successful ones didn’t. The ones that turned themselves into piles of shit got treated like piles of shit. We avoided them and they died.

Remember Myspace? Yahoo Search? Livejournal? Sure, they’re still serving some kind of AI slop or programmatic ad junk if you hit those domains, but they’re gone.

And there’s the clue: It used to be that if you enshittified your product, bad things happened to your company. Now, there are no consequences for enshittification, so everyone’s doing it.

Let’s break that down: What stops a company from enshittifying?

There are four forces that discipline tech companies. The first one is, obviously, competition.

If your customers find it easy to leave, then you have to worry about them leaving

Many factors can contribute to how hard or easy it is to depart a platform, like the network effects that Facebook has going for it. But the most important factor is whether there is anywhere to go.

Back in 2012, Facebook bought Insta for a billion dollars. That may seem like chump-change in these days of eleven-digit Big Tech acquisitions, but that was a big sum in those innocent days, and it was an especially big sum to pay for Insta. The company only had 13 employees, and a mere 25 million registered users.

But what mattered to Zuckerberg wasn’t how many users Insta had, it was where those users came from.

[Does anyone know where those Insta users came from?]

That’s right, they left Facebook and joined Insta. They were sick of FB, even though they liked the people there, they hated creepy Zuck, they hated the platform, so they left and they didn’t come back.

So Zuck spent a cool billion to recapture them, A fact he put in writing in a midnight email to CFO David Ebersman, explaining that he was paying over the odds for Insta because his users hated him, and loved Insta. So even if they quit Facebook (the platform), they would still be captured Facebook (the company).

Now, on paper, Zuck’s Instagram acquisition is illegal, but normally, that would be hard to stop, because you’d have to prove that he bought Insta with the intention of curtailing competition.

But in this case, Zuck tripped over his own dick: he put it in writing.

But Obama’s DoJ and FTC just let that one slide, following the pro-monopoly policies of Reagan, Bush I, Clinton and Bush II, and setting an example that Trump would follow, greenlighting gigamergers like the catastrophic, incestuous Warner-Discovery marriage.

Indeed, for 40 years, starting with Carter, and accelerating through Reagan, the US has encouraged monopoly formation, as an official policy, on the grounds that monopolies are “efficient.”

If everyone is using Google Search, that’s something we should celebrate. It means they’ve got the very best search and wouldn’t it be perverse to spend public funds to punish them for making the best product?

But as we all know, Google didn’t maintain search dominance by being best. They did it by paying bribes. More than 20 billion per year to Apple alone to be the default Ios search, plus billions more to Samsung, Mozilla, and anyone else making a product or service with a search-box on it, ensuring that you never stumble on a search engine that’s better than theirs.

Which, in turn, ensured that no one smart invested big in rival search engines, even if they were visibly, obviously superior. Why bother making something better if Google’s buying up all the market oxygen before it can kindle your product to life?

Facebook, Google, Microsoft, Amazon – they’re not “making things” companies, they’re “buying things” companies, taking advantage of official tolerance for anticompetitive acquisitions, predatory pricing, market distorting exclusivity deals and other acts specifically prohibited by existing antitrust law.

Their goal is to become too big to fail, because that makes them too big to jail, and that means they can be too big to care.

Which is why Google Search is a pile of shit and everything on Amazon is dropshipped garbage that instantly disintegrates in a cloud of offgassed volatile organic compounds when you open the box.

Once companies no longer fear losing your business to a competitor, it’s much easier for them to treat you badly, because what’re you gonna do?

Remember Lily Tomlin as Ernestine the AT&T operator in those old SNL sketches? “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”

Competition is the first force that serves to discipline companies and the enshittificatory impulses of their leadership, and we just stopped enforcing competition law.

It takes a special kind of smooth-brained asshole – that is, an establishment economist – to insist that the collapse of every industry from eyeglasses to vitamin C into a cartel of five or fewer companies has nothing to do with policies that officially encouraged monopolization.

It’s like we used to put down rat poison and we didn’t have a rat problem. Then these dickheads convinced us that rats were good for us and we stopped putting down rat poison, and now rats are gnawing our faces off and they’re all running around saying, "Who’s to say where all these rats came from? Maybe it was that we stopped putting down poison, but maybe it’s just the Time of the Rats. The Great Forces of History bearing down on this moment to multiply rats beyond all measure!"

Antitrust didn’t slip down that staircase and fall spine-first on that stiletto: they stabbed it in the back and then they pushed it.

And when they killed antitrust, they also killed regulation, the second force that disciplines companies. Regulation is possible, but only when the regulator is more powerful than the regulated entities. When a company is bigger than the government, it gets damned hard to credibly threaten to punish that company, no matter what its sins.

That’s what protected IBM for all those years when it had its boot on the throat of the American tech sector. Do you know, the DOJ fought to break up IBM in the courts from 1970-1982, and that every year, for 12 consecutive years, IBM spent more on lawyers to fight the USG than the DOJ Antitrust Division spent on all the lawyers fighting every antitrust case in the entire USA?

IBM outspent Uncle Sam for 12 years. People called it “Antitrust’s Vietnam.” All that money paid off, because by 1982, the president was Ronald Reagan, a man whose official policy was that monopolies were “efficient." So he dropped the case, and Big Blue wriggled off the hook.

It’s hard to regulate a monopolist, and it’s hard to regulate a cartel. When a sector is composed of hundreds of competing companies, they compete. They genuinely fight with one another, trying to poach each others’ customers and workers. They are at each others’ throats.

It’s hard enough for a couple hundred executives to agree on anything. But when they’re legitimately competing with one another, really obsessing about how to eat each others’ lunches, they can’t agree on anything.

The instant one of them goes to their regulator with some bullshit story, about how it’s impossible to have a decent search engine without fine-grained commercial surveillance; or how it’s impossible to have a secure and easy to use mobile device without a total veto over which software can run on it; or how it’s impossible to administer an ISP’s network unless you can slow down connections to servers whose owners aren’t paying bribes for “premium carriage"; there’s some *other company saying, “That’s bullshit”

“We’ve managed it! Here’s our server logs, our quarterly financials and our customer testimonials to prove it.”

100 companies are a rabble, they're a mob. They can’t agree on a lobbying position. They’re too busy eating each others’ lunch to agree on how to cater a meeting to discuss it.

But let those hundred companies merge to monopoly, absorb one another in an incestuous orgy, turn into five giant companies, so inbred they’ve got a corporate Habsburg jaw, and they become a cartel.

It’s easy for a cartel to agree on what bullshit they’re all going to feed their regulator, and to mobilize some of the excess billions they’ve reaped through consolidation, which freed them from “wasteful competition," sp they can capture their regulators completely.

You know, Congress used to pass federal consumer privacy laws? Not anymore.

The last time Congress managed to pass a federal consumer privacy law was in 1988: The Video Privacy Protection Act. That’s a law that bans video-store clerks from telling newspapers what VHS cassettes you take home. In other words, it regulates three things that have effectively ceased to exist.

The threat of having your video rental history out there in the public eye was not the last or most urgent threat the American public faced, and yet, Congress is deadlocked on passing a privacy law.

Tech companies’ regulatory capture involves a risible and transparent gambit, that is so stupid, it’s an insult to all the good hardworking risible transparent ruses out there.

Namely, they claim that when they violate your consumer, privacy or labor rights, It’s not a crime, because they do it with an app.

Algorithmic wage discrimination isn’t illegal wage theft: we do it with an app.

Spying on you from asshole to appetite isn’t a privacy violation: we do it with an app.

And Amazon’s scam search tool that tricks you into paying 29% more than the best match for your query? Not a ripoff. We do it with an app.

Once we killed competition – stopped putting down rat poison – we got cartels – the rats ate our faces. And the cartels captured their regulators – the rats bought out the poison factory and shut it down.

So companies aren’t constrained by competition or regulation.

But you know what? This is tech, and tech is different.IIt’s different because it’s flexible. Because our computers are Turing-complete universal von Neumann machines. That means that any enshittificatory alteration to a program can be disenshittified with another program.

Every time HP jacks up the price of ink , they invite a competitor to market a refill kit or a compatible cartridge.

When Tesla installs code that says you have to pay an extra monthly fee to use your whole battery, they invite a modder to start selling a kit to jailbreak that battery and charge it all the way up.

Lemme take you through a little example of how that works: Imagine this is a product design meeting for our company’s website, and the guy leading the meeting says “Dudes, you know how our KPI is topline ad-revenue? Well, I’ve calculated that if we make the ads just 20% more invasive and obnoxious, we’ll boost ad rev by 2%”

This is a good pitch. Hit that KPI and everyone gets a fat bonus. We can all take our families on a luxury ski vacation in Switzerland.

But here’s the thing: someone’s gonna stick their arm up – someone who doesn’t give a shit about user well-being, and that person is gonna say, “I love how you think, Elon. But has it occurred to you that if we make the ads 20% more obnoxious, then 40% of our users will go to a search engine and type 'How do I block ads?'"

I mean, what a nightmare! Because once a user does that, the revenue from that user doesn’t rise to 102%. It doesn’t stay at 100% It falls to zero, forever.

[Any guesses why?]

Because no user ever went back to the search engine and typed, 'How do I start seeing ads again?'

Once the user jailbreaks their phone or discovers third party ink, or develops a relationship with an independent Tesla mechanic who’ll unlock all the DLC in their car, that user is gone, forever.

Interoperability – that latent property bequeathed to us courtesy of Herrs Turing and Von Neumann and their infinitely flexible, universal machines – that is a serious check on enshittification.

The fact that Congress hasn’t passed a privacy law since 1988 Is countered, at least in part, by the fact that the majority of web users are now running ad-blockers, which are also tracker-blockers.

But no one’s ever installed a tracker-blocker for an app. Because reverse engineering an app puts in you jeopardy of criminal and civil prosecution under Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, with penalties of a 5-year prison sentence and a $500k fine for a first offense.

And violating its terms of service puts you in jeopardy under the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act of 1986, which is the law that Ronald Reagan signed in a panic after watching Wargames (seriously!).

Helping other users violate the terms of service can get you hit with a lawsuit for tortious interference with contract. And then there’s trademark, copyright and patent.

All that nonsense we call “IP,” but which Jay Freeman of Cydia calls “Felony Contempt of Business Model."

So if we’re still at that product planning meeting and now it’s time to talk about our app, the guy leading the meeting says, “OK, so we’ll make the ads in the app 20% more obnoxious to pull a 2% increase in topline ad rev?”

And that person who objected to making the website 20% worse? Their hand goes back up. Only this time they say “Why don’t we make the ads 100% more invasive and get a 10% increase in ad rev?"

Because it doesn't matter if a user goes to a search engine and types, “How do I block ads in an app." The answer is: you can't. So YOLO, enshittify away.

“IP” is just a euphemism for “any law that lets me reach outside my company’s walls to exert coercive control over my critics, competitors and customers,” and “app” is just a euphemism for “A web page skinned with the right IP so that protecting your privacy while you use it is a felony.”

Interop used to keep companies from enshittifying. If a company made its client suck, someone would roll out an alternative client, if they ripped a feature out and wanted to sell it back to you as a monthly subscription, someone would make a compatible plugin that restored it for a one-time fee, or for free.

To help people flee Myspace, FB gave them bots that you’d load with your login credentials. It would scrape your waiting Myspace messages and put ‘em in your FB inbox, and login to Myspace and paste your replies into your Myspace outbox. So you didn’t have to choose between the people you loved on Myspace, and Facebook, which launched with a promise never to spy on you. Remember that?!

Thanks to the metastasis of IP, all that is off the table today. Apple owes its very existence to iWork Suite, whose Pages, Numbers and Keynote are file-compatible with Microsoft’s Word, Excel and Powerpoint. But make an IOS runtime that’ll play back the files you bought from Apple’s stores on other platforms, and they’ll nuke you til you glow.

FB wouldn’t have had a hope of breaking Myspace’s grip on social media without that scrape, but scrape FB today in support of an alternative client and their lawyers will bomb you til the rubble bounces.

Google scraped every website in the world to create its search index. Try and scrape Google and they’ll have your head on a pike.

When they did it, it was progress. When you do it to them, that’s piracy. Every pirate wants to be an admiral.

Because this handful of companies has so thoroughly captured their regulators, they can wield the power of the state against you when you try to break their grip on power, even as their own flagrant violations of our rights go unpunished. Because they do them with an app.

Tech lost its fear of competitin it neutralized the threat from regulators, and then put them in harness to attack new startups that might do unto them as they did unto the companies that came before them.

But even so, there was a force that kept our bosses in check That force was us. Tech workers.

Tech workers have historically been in short supply, which gave us power, and our bosses knew it.

To get us to work crazy hours, they came up with a trick. They appealed to our love of technology, and told us that we were heroes of a digital revolution, who would “organize the world’s information and make it useful,” who would “bring the world closer together.”

They brought in expert set-dressers to turn our workplaces into whimsical campuses with free laundry, gourmet cafeterias, massages, and kombucha, and a surgeon on hand to freeze our eggs so that we could work through our fertile years.

They convinced us that we were being pampered, rather than being worked like government mules.

This trick has a name. Fobazi Ettarh, the librarian-theorist, calls it “vocational awe, and Elon Musk calls it being “extremely hardcore.”

This worked very well. Boy did we put in some long-ass hours!

But for our bosses, this trick failed badly. Because if you miss your mother’s funeral and to hit a deadline, and then your boss orders you to enshittify that product, you are gonna experience a profound moral injury, which you are absolutely gonna make your boss share.

Because what are they gonna do? Fire you? They can’t hire someone else to do your job, and you can get a job that’s even better at the shop across the street.

So workers held the line when competition, regulation and interop failed.

But eventually, supply caught up with demand. Tech laid off 260,000 of us last year, and another 100,000 in the first half of this year.

You can’t tell your bosses to go fuck themselves, because they’ll fire your ass and give your job to someone who’ll be only too happy to enshittify that product you built.

That’s why this is all happening right now. Our bosses aren’t different. They didn’t catch a mind-virus that turned them into greedy assholes who don’t care about our users’ wellbeing or the quality of our products.

As far as our bosses have always been concerned, the point of the business was to charge the most, and deliver the least, while sharing as little as possible with suppliers, workers, users and customers. They’re not running charities.

Since day one, our bosses have shown up for work and yanked as hard as they can on the big ENSHITTIFICATION lever behind their desks, only that lever didn’t move much. It was all gummed up by competition, regulation, interop and workers.

As those sources of friction melted away, the enshittification lever started moving very freely.

Which sucks, I know. But think about this for a sec: our bosses, despite being wildly imperfect vessels capable of rationalizing endless greed and cheating, nevertheless oversaw a series of actually great products and services.

Not because they used to be better people, but because they used to be subjected to discipline.

So it follows that if we want to end the enshittocene, dismantle the enshitternet, and build a new, good internet that our bosses can’t wreck, we need to make sure that these constraints are durably installed on that internet, wound around its very roots and nerves. And we have to stand guard over it so that it can’t be dismantled again.

A new, good internet is one that has the positive aspects of the old, good internet: an ethic of technological self-determination, where users of technology (and hackers, tinkerers, startups and others serving as their proxies) can reconfigure and mod the technology they use, so that it does what they need it to do, and so that it can’t be used against them.

But the new, good internet will fix the defects of the old, good internet, the part that made it hard to use for anyone who wasn’t us. And hell yeah we can do that. Tech bosses swear that it’s impossible, that you can’t have a conversation friend without sharing it with Zuck; or search the web without letting Google scrape you down to the viscera; or have a phone that works reliably without giving Apple a veto over the software you install.

They claim that it’s a nonsense to even ponder this kind of thing. It’s like making water that’s not wet. But that’s bullshit. We can have nice things. We can build for the people we love, and give them a place that’s worth of their time and attention.

To do that, we have to install constraints.

The first constraint, remember, is competition. We’re living through a epochal shift in competition policy. After 40 years with antitrust enforcement in an induced coma, a wave of antitrust vigor has swept through governments all over the world. Regulators are stepping in to ban monopolistic practices, open up walled gardens, block anticompetitive mergers, and even unwind corrupt mergers that were undertaken on false pretenses.

Normally this is the place in the speech where I’d list out all the amazing things that have happened over the past four years. The enforcement actions that blocked companies from becoming too big to care, and that scared companies away from even trying.

Like Wiz, which just noped out of the largest acquisition offer in history, turning down Google’s $23b cashout, and deciding to, you know, just be a fucking business that makes money by producing a product that people want and selling it at a competitive price.

Normally, I’d be listing out FTC rulemakings that banned noncompetes nationwid. Or the new merger guidelines the FTC and DOJ cooked up, which – among other things – establish that the agencies should be considering whether a merger will negatively impact privacy.

I had a whole section of this stuff in my notes, a real victory lap, but I deleted it all this week.

[Can anyone guess why?]

That’s right! This week, Judge Amit Mehta, ruling for the DC Circuit of these United States of America, In the docket 20-3010 a case known as United States v. Google LLC, found that “Google is a monopolist, and it has acted as one to maintain its monopoly," and ordered Google and the DOJ to propose a schedule for a remedy, like breaking the company up.

So yeah, that was pretty fucking epic.

Now, this antitrust stuff is pretty esoteric, and I won’t gatekeep you or shame you if you wanna keep a little distance on this subject. Nearly everyone is an antitrust normie, and that's OK. But if you’re a normie, you’re probably only catching little bits and pieces of the narrative, and let me tell you, the monopolists know it and they are flooding the zone.

The Wall Street Journal has published over 100 editorials condemning FTC Chair Lina Khan, saying she’s an ineffectual do-nothing, wasting public funds chasing doomed, quixotic adventures against poor, innocent businesses accomplishing nothing

[Does anyone out there know who owns the Wall Street Journal?]

That’s right, it’s Rupert Murdoch. Do you really think Rupert Murdoch pays his editorial board to write one hundred editorials about someone who’s not getting anything done?

The reality is that in the USA, in the UK, in the EU, in Australia, in Canada, in Japan, in South Korea, even in China, we are seeing more antitrust action over the past four years than over the preceding forty years.

Remember, competition law is actually pretty robust. The problem isn’t the law, It’s the enforcement priorities. Reagan put antitrust in mothballs 40 years ago, but that elegant weapon from a more civilized age is now back in the hands of people who know how to use it, and they’re swinging for the fences.

Next up: regulation.

As the seemingly inescapable power of the tech giants is revealed for the sham it always was, governments and regulators are finally gonna kill the “one weird trick” of violating the law, and saying “It doesn’t count, we did it with an app.”

Like in the EU, they’re rolling out the Digital Markets Act this year. That’s a law requiring dominant platforms to stand up APIs so that third parties can offer interoperable services.

So a co-op, a nonprofit, a hobbyist, a startup, or a local government agency wil eventuallyl be able to offer, say, a social media server that can interconnect with one of the dominant social media silos, and users who switch to that new platform will be able to continue to exchange messages with the users they follow and groups they belong to, so the switching costs will fall to damned near zero.

That’s a very cool rule, but what’s even cooler is how it’s gonna be enforced. Previous EU tech rules were “regulations” as in the GDPR – the General Data Privacy Regulation. EU regs need to be “transposed” into laws in each of the 27 EU member states, so they become national laws that get enforced by national courts.

For Big Tech, that means all previous tech regulations are enforced in Ireland, because Ireland is a tax haven, and all the tech companies fly Irish flags of convenience.

Here’s the thing: every tax haven is also a crime haven. After all, if Google can pretend it’s Irish this week, it can pretend to be Cypriot, or Maltese, or Luxembougeious next week. So Ireland has to keep these footloose criminal enterprises happy, or they’ll up sticks and go somewhere else.

This is why the GDPR is such a goddamned joke in practice. Big tech wipes its ass with the GDPR, and the only way to punish them starts with Ireland’s privacy commissioner, who barely bothers to get out of bed. This is an agency that spends most of its time watching cartoons on TV in its pajamas and eating breakfast cereal. So all of the big GDPR cases go to Ireland and they die there.

This is hardly a secret. The European Commission knows it’s going on. So with the DMA, the Commission has changed things up: The DMA is an “Act,” not a “Regulation.” Meaning it gets enforced in the EU’s federal courts, bypassing the national courts in crime-havens like Ireland.

In other words, the “we violate privacy law, but we do it with an app” gambit that worked on Ireland’s toothless privacy watchdog is now a dead letter, because EU federal judges have no reason to swallow that obvious bullshit.

Here in the US, the dam is breaking on federal consumer privacy law – at last!

Remember, our last privacy law was passed in 1988 to protect the sanctity of VHS rental history. It's been a minute.

And the thing is, there's a lot of people who are angry about stuff that has some nexus with America's piss-poor privacy landscape. Worried that Facebook turned grampy into a Qanon? That Insta made your teen anorexic? That TikTok is brainwashing millennials into quoting Osama Bin Laden? Or that cops are rolling up the identities of everyone at a Black Lives Matter protest or the Jan 6 riots by getting location data from Google? Or that Red State Attorneys General are tracking teen girls to out-of-state abortion clinics? Or that Black people are being discriminated against by online lending or hiring platforms? Or that someone is making AI deepfake porn of you?

A federal privacy law with a private right of action – which means that individuals can sue companies that violate their privacy – would go a long way to rectifying all of these problems

There's a pretty big coalition for that kind of privacy law! Which is why we have seen a procession of imperfect (but steadily improving) privacy laws working their way through Congress.

If you sign up for EFF’s mailing list at eff.org we’ll send you an email when these come up, so you can call your Congressjerk or Senator and talk to them about it. Or better yet, make an appointment to drop by their offices when they’re in their districts, and explain to them that you’re not just a registered voter from their district, you’re the kind of elite tech person who goes to Defcon, and then explain the bill to them. That stuff makes a difference.

What about self-help? How are we doing on making interoperability legal again, so hackers can just fix shit without waiting for Congress or a federal agency to act?

All the action here these day is in the state Right to Repair fight. We’re getting state R2R bills, like the one that passed this year in Oregon that bans parts pairing, where DRM is used to keep a device from using a new part until it gets an authorized technician’s unlock code.

These bills are pushed by a fantastic group of organizations called the Repair Coalition, at Repair.org, and they’ll email you when one of these laws is going through your statehouse, so you can meet with your state reps and explain to the JV squad the same thing you told your federal reps.

Repair.org’s prime mover is Ifixit, who are genuine heroes of the repair revolution, and Ifixit’s founder, Kyle Wiens, is here at the con. When you see him, you can shake his hand and tell him thanks, and that’ll be even better if you tell him that you’ve signed up to get alerts at repair.org!

Now, on to the final way that we reverse enhittification and build that new, good internet: you, the tech labor force.

For years, your bosses tricked you into thinking you were founders in waiting, temporarily embarrassed entrepreneurs who were only momentarily drawing a salary.

You certainly weren’t workers. Your power came from your intrinsic virtue, not like those lazy slobs in unions who have to get their power through that kumbaya solidarity nonsense.

It was a trick. You were scammed. The power you had came from scarcity, and so when the scarcity ended, when the industry started ringing up six-figure annual layoffs, your power went away with it.

The only durable source of power for tech workers is as workers, in a union.

Think about Amazon. Warehouse workers have to piss in bottles and have the highest rate of on-the-job maimings of any competing business. Whereas Amazon coders get to show up for work with facial piercings, green mohawks, and black t-shirts that say things their bosses don’t understand. They can piss whenever they want!

That’s not because Jeff Bezos or Andy Jassy loves you guys. It’s because they’re scared you’ll quit and they don’t know how to replace you.

Time for the second obligatory William Gibson quote: “The future is here, it’s just not evenly distributed.” You know who’s living in the future?. Those Amazon blue-collar workers. They are the bleeding edge.

Drivers whose eyeballs are monitored by AI cameras that do digital phrenology on their faces to figure out whether to dock their pay, warehouse workers whose bodies are ruined in just months.

As tech bosses beef up that reserve army of unemployed, skilled tech workers, then those tech workers – you all – will arrive at the same future as them.

Look, I know that you’ve spent your careers explaining in words so small your boss could understand them that you refuse to enshittify the company’s products, and I thank you for your service.

But if you want to go on fighting for the user, you need power that’s more durable than scarcity. You need a union. Wanna learn how? Check out the Tech Workers Coalition and Tech Solidarity, and get organized.

Enshittification didn’t arise because our bosses changed. They were always that guy.

They were always yankin’ on that enshittification lever in the C-suite.

What changed was the environment, everything that kept that switch from moving.

And that’s good news, in a bankshot way, because it means we can make good services out of imperfect people. As a wildly imperfect person myself, I find this heartening.

The new good internet is in our grasp: an internet that has the technological self-determination of the old, good internet, and the greased-skids simplicity of Web 2.0 that let all our normie friends get in on the fun.

Tech bosses want you to think that good UX and enshittification can’t ever be separated. That’s such a self-serving proposition you can spot it from orbit. We know it, 'cause we built the old good internet, and we’ve been fighting a rear-guard action to preserve it for the past two decades.

It’s time to stop playing defense. It's time to go on the offensive. To restore competition, regulation, interop and tech worker power so that we can create the new, good internet we’ll need to fight fascism, the climate emergency, and genocide.

To build a digital nervous system for a 21st century in which our children can thrive and prosper.

Community voting for SXSW is live! If you wanna hear RIDA QADRI and me talk about how GIG WORKERS can DISENSHITTIFY their jobs with INTEROPERABILITY, VOTE FOR THIS ONE!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/08/17/hack-the-planet/#how-about-a-nice-game-of-chess

Image: https://twitter.com/igama/status/1822347578094043435/ (cropped)

@[email protected] (cropped)

https://mamot.fr/@[email protected]/112963252835869648

CC BY 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/deed.pt

#pluralistic #defcon #defcon 32 #hackers #enshittification #speeches #transcripts #disenshittify or die #Youtube

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reasonsforhope · 5 months ago

Text

"This year the world will make something like 70bn of these solar cells, the vast majority of them in China, and sandwich them between sheets of glass to make what the industry calls modules but most other people call panels: 60 to 72 cells at a time, typically, for most of the modules which end up on residential roofs, more for those destined for commercial plant. Those panels will provide power to family homes, to local electricity collectives, to specific industrial installations and to large electric grids; they will sit unnoticed on roofs, charmingly outside rural schools, controversially across pristine deserts, prosaically on the balconies of blocks of flats and in almost every other setting imaginable.

Once in place they will sit there for decades, making no noise, emitting no fumes, using no resources, costing almost nothing and generating power. It is the least obtrusive revolution imaginable. But it is a revolution nonetheless.

Over the course of 2023 the world’s solar cells, their panels currently covering less than 10,000 square kilometres, produced about 1,600 terawatt-hours of energy (a terawatt, or 1tw, is a trillion watts). That represented about 6% of the electricity generated world wide, and just over 1% of the world’s primary-energy use. That last figure sounds fairly marginal, though rather less so when you consider that the fossil fuels which provide most of the world’s primary energy are much less efficient. More than half the primary energy in coal and oil ends up as waste heat, rather than electricity or forward motion.

What makes solar energy revolutionary is the rate of growth which brought it to this just-beyond-the-marginal state. Michael Liebreich, a veteran analyst of clean-energy technology and economics, puts it this way:

In 2004, it took the world a whole year to install a gigawatt of solar-power capacity... In 2010, it took a month In 2016, a week. In 2023 there were single days which saw a gigawatt of installation worldwide. Over the course of 2024 analysts at BloombergNEF, a data outfit, expect to see 520-655gw of capacity installed: that’s up to two 2004s a day...

And it shows no signs of stopping, or even slowing down. Buying and installing solar panels is currently the largest single category of investment in electricity generation, according to the International Energy Agency (IEA), an intergovernmental think-tank: it expects $500bn this year, not far short of the sum being put into upstream oil and gas. Installed capacity is doubling every three years. According to the International Solar Energy Society:

Solar power is on track to generate more electricity than all the world’s nuclear power plants in 2026 Than its wind turbines in 2027 Tthan its dams in 2028 Its gas-fired power plants in 2030 And its coal-fired ones in 2032.

In an IEA scenario which provides net-zero carbon-dioxide emissions by the middle of the century, solar energy becomes humankind’s largest source of primary energy—not just electricity—by the 2040s...

Expecting exponentials to carry on is rarely a basis for sober forecasting. At some point either demand or supply faces an unavoidable constraint; a graph which was going up exponentially starts to take on the form of an elongated S. And there is a wide variety of plausible stories about possible constraints...

All real issues. But the past 20 years of solar growth have seen naive extrapolations trounce forecasting soberly informed by such concerns again and again. In 2009, when installed solar capacity worldwide was 23gw, the energy experts at the IEA predicted that in the 20 years to 2030 it would increase to 244gw. It hit that milestone in 2016, when only six of the 20 years had passed. According to Nat Bullard, an energy analyst, over most of the 2010s actual solar installations typically beat the IEA’s five-year forecasts by 235% (see chart). The people who have come closest to predicting what has actually happened have been environmentalists poo-pooed for zealotry and economic illiteracy, such as those at Greenpeace who, also in 2009, predicted 921gw of solar capacity by 2030. Yet even that was an underestimate. The world’s solar capacity hit 1,419gw last year.

-via The Economist, June 20, 2024

Note: That graph. Is fucking ridiculous(ly hopeful).

For perspective: the graph shows that in 2023, there were about 350 GW of solar installed. The 5-year prediction from 2023 said that we'd end up around 450 GW by 2030.

We hit over 600 GW in the first half of 2024 alone.

This is what's called an exponential curve. It's a curve that keeps going up at a rate that gets higher and higher with each year.

This, I firmly believe, is a huge part of what is going to let us save the world.

#solar power #solar energy #climate change #fossil fuels #solarpunk #hopepunk #solar age #optimism #renewable #renewable energy #clean energy #green energy #renewables #solar panels #good news #hope

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sweetbans29 · 6 months ago

Text

Feud - CC

Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader

Summary: You and Caitlin navigate a long-standing basketball feud (based on THIS, THIS, and THIS request)

Warnings: mentions of injury, slight angst, happy ending

Word Count: 4.4k

Sweetbans Masterlist

AN: I am saying this now, I do not think I will be doing a part 2 for this. Not anywhere in the near future at least.

If someone were to tell you by your senior year of high school you would have a rivalry going on between you and some girl from Iowa, you would call them crazy.

You grew up in Southern California - attending Mater Dei High School and playing ball year-round. You were looked at as one of the most promising college recruits alongside girls like Paige Bueckers and Caitlin Clark. As exciting as it is to be named alongside these girls - it also came with its challenges.

The media caught wind that you were talking to Iowa. Talking initially all about how Iowa was going to be a powerhouse of a team having both you and Caitlin. When you announced that you committed to South Carolina - that is when they immediately pitted the two of you against each other.

It was all funny to you since you had never met the girl. You were encouraged to not look into what the media was saying but there were times that just wasn't possible. You saw how they compared the two of you - never showing the full truth. Even in the facts, they would only take bits and pieces of it and try to show the world how one was better than the other.

When you got to college - it only got worse. You remember your first game against Iowa. It had been all the media could talk about - seeing you go up against Clark for the first time. You saw headlines that went from saying how you didn't want to live in Caitlin's shadow or how you couldn't keep up with Caitlin's growth. Other headlines talked about how she hated you so much that she made you choose a different state to go to school. All of it was a load of bull in your opinion.

At your first game against the Hawkeyes, you were more nervous about all the talk surrounding you and Caitlin than the game itself. You couldn't get the last headline out of your head - 'Caitlin Clark to run circles around SC's freshman'.

"Hey, don't let any of what they are saying get to you," one of your teammates Aliyah says breaking you from the trance you were in.

"Ya, no. I'm good," you say coming back to reality. Aliyah just nods, giving your shoulder a squeeze.

The team goes and plays an incredible game. You were up at the half and were ready to take the second half which is exactly what you did. It was probably your best game yet and you couldn't be more proud.

At the end of the game, someone comes into your locker room and asks you to step outside. You follow before heading to the pressor to find Caitlin standing in an empty hall.

You are surprised and nervous all of a sudden but make your way over to the girl.

"Hi," you say not really sure what to say.

"Hi," she says back. As if just as nervous as you, she awkwardly extends her hand, "I'm Caitlin." You shake her hand and introduce yourself. She continues.

"I wanted to meet you in person in a controlled environment," she says with a little laugh eluding to hiding your first meeting from the media.

"Ya, they have been sort of insane," you say with a laugh of your own. "You had a really solid game today - I can see why so many people love you." You look at the girl standing before you and see her begin to fidget.

"Me?" She says on the verge of shock. " You dominated that court today - I was having a hard time keeping up with you. If anyone had a solid game it was you." She says.

"Well, thank you CC." You say with a smile. "That means a lot coming from you."

"Of course..." She says.

"I am really glad you came here," you begin. "If I'm honest - the media has been a lot recently and I know you are nothing like they are making you out to be. I don't know how you have felt about it but I truly appreciate this gesture. We don't need to be the best of friends, but we don't need to be strangers."

"I like that, although I will never stop trying to beat you on the floor." She says.

"Oh, I expect nothing less. Now knowing you are a sweetheart, I have no problem keeping up this 'feud' the media is creating - it's what the people want." You say playful giving her a little push.

"Oh that won't be hard considering the second we step onto the court my only goal is to bury you into the ground," Caitlin says with a smile. "I am sure we can keep this up and give them what they want with ease. Just know, it is all love off the court."

The two of you exchanged numbers and went on your way. Over the course of the next few years, both of your paths crossed several times. At games, award events, and random camps. Every time the two of you were in the same building the media would eat it up - always posting photos of the two of you giving each other death stares (which never really happened, they just timed it perfectly to make it seem like that or take snippets completely out of context). Since you first met her, the media hasn't taken such a big toll on you. It also helped that she would text you whenever something overly threatening or mean came out. It had you falling for the girl every time - deciding to push the feelings aside, thinking it was just her being sweet.

It was your junior year when things heated up in the media even more than they had in the past. Going into March Madness, all they could talk about was you against Caitlin so much that it brought back all the drama that started when you were going into college. Through it all Caitlin had reached out and reminded you none of it was real. It was very sweet of her.

Your two teams were facing off in the final four and you could not be more prepared.

The game was a close one the entire time - neither team had more of a 5-point lead at any time. It all came down to the final quarter.

Tied going into it - both teams fought to go to the championship game. Two minutes into the quarter things took a turn for the worst.

You were guarding Caitlin - staying vigilant on defense, ensuring she didn't get a good shot. When she went up on a jumper you hit her arm while trying to block the ball drawing the foul. You cursed at yourself for allowing her to go to the free-point line.

She makes the first one with ease and sets back to the line for a second. Everyone anticipates it going in but the second she releases, you can see how her eyes shift as she begins to make her wait for the ball. You cut in front of her, jumping up going for the rebound as she does the same. You get your hand on the ball trying to hold onto it as you make your way down to the ground.

What you weren't expecting was to be shifted so much that when you came down you landed directly on your knee, causing you to let out a murderous scream. Your hands immediately let go of the ball and make their way to the center of the pain - your knee.

The stadium silences immediately - leaving only your cries as you curl up into a ball.

Caitlin - being the closest one to you is hunched over you with her hands on your shoulder while your teammates run to get medical.

"You're okay, you're okay." She keeps muttering as she really doesn't know what to do to comfort you. She knows she is the one who knocked you off balance in the air but never imagined this to happen.

"They are coming," she says trying to restore hope in you.

The medical team comes up and instantly knows they need to get you out of there immediately. They call for a stretcher which comes within seconds of them asking for it. Your eyes are glued shut as you bite the top of your jersey to avoid letting out any more screams.

The pain has blocked out anything and everything happening around you. You can't even remember how it happened, all you know is the centralized pain.

Caitlin watches as they remove you from the floor. She has never been this distressed when it has come to someone leaving the floor due to injury - not even girls from her own team. Cait makes the mistake of looking up at one of the monitors as they replay what happened and tears begin to form on the brim of her eyes as she clearly sees she is the cause of your injury. The media is going to have a field day with this but even more so - all she could think about was how she could ever begin apologizing to you.

Kate makes her way over to the shaking girl and pulls her into a hug.

"That wasn't your fault," she says in her ear. "Don't carry this."

Kate had been the only person on the team who knew the friendship that had been growing into more than Caitlin knew how to put into words. Kate could also see, Cait was very much at fault for what happened but knows how much Caitlin keeps in her head and shouldn't shoulder this right now.

Once you are taken through the tunnel - everyone does the best they can to regroup from the traumatic scene that had just taken place.

Your team was trying to regroup as they had to make adjustments on the court after losing their star player, also just trying to remain composed after seeing and hearing you go down. Kate was trying to get Caitlin to calm down and get her head back in the game. The crowd at this point remained silent until play resumed.

Your team lost to Iowa by 4 and no one could blame them. It was a hard loss but everyone was more concerned what the outcome of your injury would be over the ending of March Madness.

Once you were taken back, they decided it would be best to take you to the ER to get checked out. Shortly after arriving, they determined it was a transverse patella fracture which meant your patella broke into two and it would require surgery to fix if you ever wanted to play again. It was a no-brainer.

The next few days were a whirlwind for you - they kept you in the hospital as they prepped for the surgery and you started recovery after.

Your team came to visit and took turns rotating so you wouldn't be alone. Your manager thought it would be best to stay off of social media which you didn't argue with one bit. The last thing you needed was someone saying how your career was over. You went so far as to get a secondary phone and phone number just to communicate with the team and your family.

Once you were let go from the hospital to recover at home, you finally got your phone back and it was filled with messages. You scanned through them stopping at the one that caught your attention the most.

Phone in hand, you stared at the dozens of missed calls and messages from Caitlin. You clicked into her messages and began to read about how sorry she was and how she wanted you to let her know when you were home. You fought with yourself to listen to all of the voicemails she had left and settled on listening to the last.

You click on it and bring your phone up to your ear.

"Hi," she sounds completely defeated. "I know I have left you countless voicemails but I just really want to see how you are doing. This was never meant to happen - I...I don't know what was supposed to happen but it was not this." You hear the shakey breath that she takes before continuing. "I don't want to keep bugging you if you don't want to talk to me. If I were you, I wouldn't even be listening to this and would have just deleted it but I know you are better than I am and just pray that this gets to you. That this gets to you before any of the media gets to you or spins the story into something it's not. Not that you owe me anything, but I ask that you don't listen to any of it. Don't do that to yourself because none of it is true. It is all lies that they have spun to their own narrative." She is crying now but does the best she can to cover it up. "This was never supposed to happen, I am so sorry." She struggles out and hangs up.

You imagined the first handful of messages were similar to this one and decided not to listen to them. It wasn't out of anger or resentment but you knew that in order for you to move on you couldn't hang on that moment.

The next few months consisted of recovery. You were determined to come back for your senior year and were going to come back stronger and more prepared than you have ever been. When the season started - you were back to training but weren't jumping back into games until the third week into the season.

Your manager did a really good job of keeping you out of the media - per your request leading up to the season. The first time you were brought back into the light was during your team's first game of the season. You were on the bench - coaching and encouraging your team. It wasn't the first time the media had seen you but the first time they got to talk to you. There were preseason training videos that were released that showed you back in practice but always highlighted other players on your team.

During this first game though, you were going to be mic'd up for a midgame interview.

"We are so excited to have you on the air as your team kicks off the season, can you give us insight on how recovery went for you?"

They were really just jumping in. You let out a little laugh and proceeded to answer the question.

"I am excited to be back - recovery was not easy and challenged me in more ways than I expected it would but I can honestly say it has grown me in more ways than playing would have." You say as your eyes are glued to the game happening in front of you. "That a way Tessa! Get back get back!" You yell to your team.

"We got word that you will be back on the court in a few weeks, are you excited to be playing for your senior year?" Was asked next.

"Of course. I have been itching to get back on the court - YES PAOPAO! AND ONE! - sorry, yes I am ready to get back out there and help my team on the court. We have a single mission and are ready to conquer." You say.

"Does that one mission have anything to do with Caitlin Clark?" One of the anchors asks, curiosity getting the best of them.

You take a second to compose your answer.

"I wish nothing but the best for the girl. She has really elevated the game and visibility of women's sports in general. If our paths cross again, which I can see happening - there are no ill intentions." You say and then give your exit, going back to the game.

Caitlin was watching and couldn't stop replaying the video. You never responded to any of her messages - even the ones that came further along in your recovery. You had cut her off knowing it was what you needed. She couldn't blame you but really wanted to pick up where the two of you left off - during your time of not talking she realized how much she wanted you in her life. You were one of the only people she met with the same mentality as she had and could share in the craziness that the media spat out. You brought out the best in her without even being in the building.

Cait watched you for what felt like the hundredth time and really hoped that your paths would cross this season.

Both of your teams went the whole season without playing the other. This only built the tension for the NCAA tournament. You had jumped seamlessly back in with your team and contributed to their undefeated season. Caitlin and the Hawkeyes fought hard coming back for redemption. As the tournament heightened and both of your teams kept winning - the media kept circulating articles about the faceoff everyone has been waiting a year to see, Caitlin and you on the court again.

Right before the Final Four - videos of your injury circulated again and pitted Caitlin as the villain in this completely made-up narrative. When hearing them - it took everything in you to not reach out to her. Everyone was telling you not to talk to anyone about Caitlin. Your manager also strongly advised you to not make any contact considering everything was under a microscope.

You did really well until you saw that Iowa was playing UConn in the final four. You had been friends with Paige for years now and knew they were ready to take on Iowa but something in your heart was rooting for Caitlin.

The morning of the Iowa v. UConn game you did it. You pulled out your phone and sent a quick message. It was a simple text but carried more weight than just the words present - it was the first contact you had initiated since before your injury.

Caitlin was still in her apartment when she got the message. She was straightening her hair with cameras on her for a documentary coming out on ESPN. She puts her straightener down and picks up her phone, trying not to show the message's effect on her knowing she was being recorded. Looking at the phone for longer than needed her eyes were glued to it.

[Other half: You got this.]

She doesn't know how to respond but she wants to. As she is thinking through how, her phone rings. It's Kate. She answers and quickly makes her way out of her apartment knowing she is picking up Kate before heading to the stadium.

Caitlin didn't mention the text she had gotten - not that she could mention anything with the camera crew still present but her mind was going crazy.

The Hawkeyes went in and took UConn by two points, sending them back to the championship and facing off SC in the championship. The face-off every sports fan has been waiting for.

The celebration was grand but Caitlin's mind kept wandering back to how she was going to respond to you.

When she was finally able to make it back to the locker room, she sat and responded to you.

[CC: Can we meet up after we play?]

Caitlin sent it and sort of regretted asking but she wanted to talk to you face to face. You responded faster than she had expected.

[Other Half: Yes]

The championship game comes faster than everyone anticipated. Both teams preparing for one final game. Up to this point - you alongside a Kamilla had committed to the draft. From Iowa - Caitlin had made her statement saying she was going to the draft. Both of you know this last game is a significant one. It would be the last of your college career.

The game is a crazy one - buckets exchanged with the leads fluctuating between your team and hers. At final buzzard it was your team that came out on top.

The celebration was epic as you saw Caitlin and her team make their way to their locker. Pictures were taken and confetti was thrown. When things begin to die down you see Caitlin emerge from the tunnel looking for something. You have an idea that she is looking for you and are proven right when she spots you, nervously making your way to you.

When she approaches you - the two of you nod to one another saying little good jobs. The amount of cameras surrounding you is insane as they get the content of you two together.

You want to put this college feud behind you as you both head into the W so in one swift movement, you remove your jersey. Caitlin takes the hint and does the same leaving you both in your undershirts.

You pass your jersey to her and she does the same with you. You both hold them up and let the media get all the photos they want of the two of you. Once you are done, you pull her in for a hug.

"Meet me in the coach's room," you whisper in her ear. She nods and the two of you part.

You finish the celebration and interviews and head back to grab your stuff. Before heading out, you make your way to meet Caitlin.

When you get there you see a girl sitting in a chair, looking down at her hands as she picks at her nails. She doesn't hear you enter but looks up when you close the door. She immediately stands and makes her way to you not really knowing what to say.

You look at her and pull her into a hug. You never said it but you missed her more than anything.

"I am so sorry," she says, her words muffled as they are spoken into your neck.

"Stop apologizing." You tell the girl in your arms.

"It was all my fault - I was mad and didn't realize my strength when I went up. You were out because of me and I will never forgive myself for that," she says not wanting to let you go.

"Caitlin lighted up on yourself." You say and pull away to look her in the eyes. "If I am honest, I blamed you at first. I was upset and frustrated and blamed you. But as time went on, I realized I only had myself to blame. You were playing the game - I would have done the same exact thing. As I was recovering - I started to be thankful for what had happened because it forced me to grow up. No one likes to be injured but I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't have that time."

Caitlin nods along to everything you say. You bring your fingers to wipe away the tears that fall.

"If anything I should be the one apologizing," you say and Caitlin shakes her head from side to side.

"No, you have nothing to apologize for."

"I do, I cut you out and I shouldn't have. I am sorry." You say. "Friends?" You ask sticking your hand out in a joking manner.

She takes your hand and shakes it. "Friends." She confirms.

The next week is a whirlwind as the two of you part ways to get ready for the draft. You two talk at least once a day trying to figure out what the next chapter of your lives could possibly look like.

When the night finally comes, it is more than you can imagine. Seeing so many congregate to highlight the sport and get ready for another great season while welcoming the new rookies is something you will never forget.

Caitlin is picked first - heading to the Indiana Fever. You could not be more excited for her. You were mentally prepared to head to the Phoenix Mercury or the New York Liberty.

It comes as a complete shock when you are picked by the Indiana Fever as well. You head up to the stage and go through your initial interview.

As you make your way back - you barely get to the hall before you see someone running up to you. Before you know it, Caitlin is in your arms. Her body is flush against yours as her arms wrap around you, squeezing you with everything she has. You lift her off the ground and squeeze her right back.

You could care less about who is watching - the only thing running through your mind is that you are about to spend the next four years with the girl in your arms.

When you place her on the ground she doesn't let you go but rather buries her face into your neck. You smile and let her hug you for as long as she wants.

It's in this moment that things begin to stir inside you. Your heart swells and you feel whole. Your hand comes up to hold the girl's head. There is no way the two of you are just friends and this moment solidifies that for you.

Weeks pass after the draft and you are getting situated in Indiana. You and Caitlin decided to find an apartment together.

The night of the draft the two of you found your way back to each other after going your separate ways to celebrate. That is when Caitlin admitted to having feelings for you dating back to your sophomore year of college. You sat there in complete awe of the girl and admitted that you had just recently realized your feelings for her but could probably date it to your recovery. From then on the two of you decided to take it slow - knowing how the media has been towards the two of you up to this point.

That sort of flew out the window when she asked you to find an apartment together when you both moved to Indy. And you were sure as hell glad she did.

After four years of the media pitting the two of you against each other, you were finally able to change the narrative. You were no longer rivals but now the new power team ready to take on the W.

AN: Tried to get a little of everything in here, I hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍

#caitlin clark #caitlin clark imagine #caitlin clark concepts #caitlin clark x reader #caitlin clark masterlist #iowa hawkeyes #iowa wbb #wnba #wnba basketball

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apollogeticx · 2 months ago

Text

✧˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ DUMB & POETIC ♡·˚

— [♡] ; you sprouted love like flowers, growing a garden in your mind and watering the petals with every unshed tear. ｡°. gojo satoru

tags: hanahaki disease, fem!reader, fluff, slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, emotional growth, vulnerable gojo satoru, recovered feelings, love after trauma, reconciliation, slow healing, happy ending, chapter three of four!

wc. 4.1K

↳ part 1 | part 2 | part 4

Returning to your usual routine felt strange, like slipping into clothes that no longer quite fit. The petals were gone, your chest no longer a battlefield of pain and breathlessness, but everything around you seemed different—distant, unfamiliar. You were different now, too.

There was an emptiness inside you where the love for Gojo had once been, and though you had chosen to let it go, it left a hollow ache in its absence, one that wasn’t quite pain, but wasn’t quite peace either.

Your classmates had been worried during your absence, though you hadn’t realized just how much until you returned. The moment you stepped into the common area, Yuji, Megumi, and Nobara had practically ambushed you, their faces a mixture of relief and curiosity. They didn’t ask for details, but you could see the concern etched in their eyes. They had missed you, and in their own way, they had been afraid for you.

“Welcome back!” Yuji had shouted with a grin, throwing his arms around you in a tight hug before you could protest.

Nobara had slapped him away, her voice sharp but affectionate. “Don’t suffocate her, idiot! She just got back.”

You smiled, something warm and bittersweet flickering in your chest. It was odd, being the center of attention like this, but it was genuine. They cared about you, and for once, you didn’t feel invisible.

It was Yuji’s idea to throw a small party—just something casual, a way to celebrate your return and ease you back into things. It was held in one of the dorm common areas, with snacks and music and the comfortable chaos that always followed when the group got together. Megumi sat in his usual quiet corner, pretending to be annoyed by Yuji and Nobara’s antics, while the two of them argued over who was better at throwing a surprise.

It should have felt normal, but there was an odd undercurrent to everything. The laughter and lightheartedness of the party felt like it was happening in a different world, one you could only observe from the outside. You were here, back with your friends, but everything felt just a little… off. Like you were living someone else’s life.

Gojo wasn’t there.

Yuji hadn’t invited him, which made sense—nobody knew you and Gojo had any kind of connection beyond teacher and student. To your classmates, there was no reason for Gojo to be involved in your recovery. You hadn’t been particularly close to him before, and there was no visible sign of what had happened between you two. No one knew how close Gojo had been to your side during your illness, how he had tried to help even when he couldn’t. No one knew that your love for him had nearly killed you.

He hadn’t even been a topic of conversation at the party. Everyone was too focused on celebrating your return, on making sure you felt welcomed and cared for. But you felt the absence of his presence, that strange void where your feelings for him had been. Even though the surgery had taken away the love that had once suffocated you, the memories lingered.

You had once loved him so deeply that it had torn your body apart, flowers blooming in your lungs, choking you with every breath. And yet now, standing here surrounded by your friends, the love was gone. The pain was gone. And Gojo… was on the sidelines.

As the party went on, you found yourself glancing toward the windows, half-expecting to see him there, lurking in the shadows with that familiar casual smirk. You knew he wouldn’t show up, not after what had happened. He had given you space, but the quiet knowledge of his absence felt strange. He had been such a presence in your life for so long, even if it had been from a distance. Now that you no longer carried that weight in your heart, it was like a piece of your world had been quietly removed.

Yuji and Nobara were arguing again, this time over the playlist, their voices rising in playful banter. Megumi sighed dramatically, rolling his eyes as if to say, *This is my life now.*

You smiled softly, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

As the night went on, you found yourself stepping outside for a moment, the noise and laughter inside becoming too much. You leaned against the cool wall of the dormitory, taking a deep breath of the crisp evening air. It felt refreshing, but empty.

You didn’t miss the pain. You didn’t miss the flowers or the coughing, or the slow, suffocating death that had been consuming you. But there was something about the absence of love that left you feeling… untethered. You had built so much of your world around those feelings, even though they had been unrequited, even though they had been the source of your suffering.

Now, standing outside in the quiet, you realized just how much had changed.

Gojo hadn’t just been your teacher—he had been the center of your world, even if only from afar. And now that he wasn’t, you didn’t know what to do with yourself.

The door creaked open behind you, and you turned to see Megumi step outside, his usual frown in place. He gave you a small nod, then leaned against the wall beside you without saying a word. It was a quiet, comforting presence, one that didn’t demand anything of you. He didn’t ask how you were feeling or what had happened. He just… existed with you, in the moment.

“Strange, isn’t it?” he said after a while, his voice low. “Being back.”

You glanced at him, surprised by the quiet understanding in his words. “Yeah,” you admitted softly. “It’s… weird.”

He nodded, not pressing further, and the two of you stood in silence for a while longer. It was comforting, in its own way, but the emptiness inside you still lingered.

Maybe it always would.

As you looked up at the night sky, the stars shining faintly above, you couldn’t help but wonder where Gojo was at that moment. You knew he was close by—he never went too far from his students, from the school. But you hadn’t seen him since your surgery, since that quiet, heartbreaking moment when you had told him that you didn’t love him anymore.

And the strangest part? You couldn’t even feel sad about it. The love was gone, and with it, the grief.

But the memory of that love… that was something you would carry forever. Even if no one else knew. Even if Gojo himself never spoke of it again.

Gojo stood on the rooftop of the school, his usual spot when he wanted to be alone, when the weight of everything around him became too much to carry. His hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and his blindfold was pulled down over his eyes, though it did nothing to block out what he could see—the world beneath him, the cursed energy of everyone around him, flickering like lights in the distance.

He knew the party was happening downstairs. He knew exactly where you were. He hadn’t been invited, of course, which made sense to everyone except him. To Yuji and the others, you were just another student, someone he barely knew beyond the occasional glance during class. They didn’t know what had really happened. They didn’t know how close things had come to falling apart.

They didn’t know how much he had noticed—how much he had tried to help, even when there was nothing he could do.

He leaned against the railing, letting out a slow breath as he stared into the night sky, though his mind was far from the stars. The memory of your confession—of how deeply you had loved him, enough to let it nearly kill you—played over and over again in his head. And now, it was gone. You were alive, and that was all that mattered, right?

But the truth was, it didn’t feel that simple.

Gojo wasn’t used to this feeling—the helplessness that had gripped him when he found out about your hanahaki, when he’d watched you struggle, suffer, knowing that your love for him had been the cause. He’d always been the one with the answers, the one who could fix things with a flick of his hand or a burst of cursed energy. But this—this was different. Love wasn’t something he could fight or control, and that terrified him in a way he wouldn’t admit to anyone.

The memory of your face, pale and exhausted, haunted him. He’d been there when Shoko had told you about the surgery, and the look in your eyes when you realized what you’d have to give up… it had hit him harder than he expected. You’d chosen to live, to let go of your feelings for him, and part of him knew that was the right choice.

But the other part—the selfish part—couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if things had been different. What if he’d noticed sooner? What if he’d been able to stop it before the flowers had started blooming in your chest? What if… what if you still loved him?

He pushed that thought away as quickly as it came. It didn’t matter now. What was done was done. You were back, alive and recovering, and that was what mattered. You were moving on, returning to your life, and he had to do the same.

And yet, despite knowing all of that, Gojo couldn’t bring himself to go down to the party. He couldn’t just pretend that everything was normal, that you were just another student. You weren’t. Not anymore.

The wind blew softly across the rooftop, carrying the sound of laughter from below. He could hear Yuji’s voice, loud and full of energy, and Nobara’s sharp retorts, followed by Megumi’s quiet, tired sighs. He could even hear you—your voice softer, but still there, mingling with the others as if nothing had changed.

But Gojo knew better. Everything had changed.

He had stood by your side during those last few days before the surgery, watching you struggle to breathe, watching the flowers bloom in your lungs, knowing that you had loved him so deeply it was killing you. He hadn’t known what to say then, hadn’t known how to handle the weight of your feelings. Gojo had always kept his distance from things like that—emotions, love, vulnerability. He wasn’t meant for those things. His world was built on power and control, not feelings that could destroy someone from the inside out.

And now… now he wondered if that distance had been a mistake.

He couldn’t help but replay the moment in his mind, the moment you had looked at him, pale and exhausted, and told him that you didn’t love him anymore. The surgery had taken away the flowers, the pain, the love. You had been so calm when you said it, so certain, but it had shaken him. For the first time in a long time, Gojo didn’t know what to do.

Because he didn’t realize, not until that moment, that maybe he hadn’t wanted you to stop loving him.

It wasn’t that he returned your feelings—he wasn’t even sure he could love someone the way you had loved him—but there had been something about your quiet, unspoken affection that had anchored him in a way he didn’t fully understand. And now it was gone, erased by the surgery that had saved your life.

Gojo sighed, running a hand through his hair, pushing the blindfold up just enough to let the night air brush against his skin. He wasn’t used to feeling this conflicted. Usually, he knew exactly what to do, how to act, how to handle any situation. But this was different. This wasn’t something he could fight or fix. It was done. You had made your choice, and now he had to live with it.

But that didn’t make it any easier.

From the corner of his vision, he saw movement—someone stepping outside the dorm. He didn’t need to look closely to know it was you. He could sense your energy from anywhere, even now, even after everything had changed. You were standing just outside the door, staring up at the night sky, your face unreadable.

For a moment, he considered going down to you, saying something, anything. But what would he even say? Sorry for not noticing you sooner? Sorry for not loving you back?

None of it would change the fact that you were standing there, alive but different, the love you had once felt for him wiped away like it had never existed.

Gojo watched you for a long moment, his heart heavy with something he couldn’t quite name. Regret, maybe. Loss. He wasn’t sure. But whatever it was, it weighed on him more than he expected.

Finally, he turned away from the edge of the rooftop, stuffing his hands back into his pockets. He couldn’t stay here, lingering on what-ifs and what-could-have-beens. That wasn’t how the world worked, and he knew it.

But as he walked away from the rooftop, away from you, a quiet thought lingered in the back of his mind:

Maybe I should’ve let you love me after all.

The days that followed your return to class were a strange limbo of routine and discomfort. You tried to slip back into your usual rhythm—taking notes, going through exercises, training with your classmates—but everything felt just a bit off. You were going through the motions, trying to exist in a world where the most important thing about you, the love that had nearly destroyed you, was gone. But the emptiness it left behind had its own kind of weight.

And Gojo was still there, always hovering in the background. His presence was impossible to ignore, even when he wasn’t directly interacting with you. His playful attitude, the way he made Yuji and Nobara laugh, his easy command of the room—none of it had changed. But to you, it felt different. Every glance in his direction was a reminder of the love you no longer felt, and yet… something lingered. It wasn’t love, not like before, but it wasn’t nothing, either.

It was after a particularly exhausting training session that you found yourself alone with Gojo once more. The others had gone ahead, leaving the training grounds in their usual rush, but you had lingered, too tired to keep up. You were about to head back to your dorm when you heard his voice behind you.

“Hey, you got a minute?”

You froze, your heart quickening, though not from affection. It was something else—fear, hesitation. Slowly, you turned to face him. He stood there, looking relaxed as always, but there was an intensity in his posture that you hadn’t seen before. His blindfold covered his eyes, but you knew he was watching you closely, reading every movement.

You sighed, bracing yourself for whatever this conversation was going to be. “What is it, Gojo?”

He took a step closer, his voice unusually soft. “I just… I’ve been thinking about everything. You’ve been quiet. We haven’t talked since… you know.”

The mention of the surgery sent a cold shiver down your spine, and you could feel your stomach twist in knots. You didn’t want to talk about it, but you knew that avoiding it forever was impossible. You nodded, looking away from him. “Yeah. It’s been… weird.”

Gojo crossed his arms, leaning back slightly as he studied you. “Weird how?”

You sighed again, frustrated that he was making you spell it out. “You know how. The surgery took away the love I had for you, and now I’m just… here. Trying to figure out how to be around you again.”

His expression didn’t change, but you could feel the tension in the air between you. He had been so calm and distant since your recovery, giving you space, acting like everything was fine. But now that the subject was out in the open, neither of you could ignore it any longer.

“Yeah, I figured as much,” Gojo said quietly, his voice losing its usual lightness. “But I’ve been thinking… and I guess I need to ask—what now? What do you want?”

The question hit you like a punch to the chest. What did you want? You hadn’t allowed yourself to think about that since the surgery. You were too busy just trying to exist, to move forward without the overwhelming burden of unrequited love. But now, faced with Gojo’s question, you felt the flood of emotions you’d been holding back come rushing forward.

“I’m afraid to be around you,” you admitted, the words slipping out before you could stop them. Your voice wavered, but you pressed on. “The surgery… it’s not supposed to keep someone from loving forever. That’s what Shoko told me. And… you… you’re too easy to love, Gojo.”

Gojo’s breath hitched ever so slightly, but he didn’t move. He stood there, arms crossed, his expression unreadable behind his blindfold. You could see the tension in his shoulders, the way he was processing your words.

You took a step back, needing space. “You make it easy for people to fall for you. You’re charming, you’re kind—at least when it matters. And I’m afraid if I stay around you too long, it’s going to happen again. And this time, there won’t be any surgery. I’ll just… fall for you again, and then what? What happens then?”

The silence between you grew heavier, and Gojo finally uncrossed his arms, letting them fall to his sides. His usual easy grin was gone, replaced by something quieter, something more vulnerable. “I didn’t know you felt like that.”

You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “Of course you didn’t. You didn’t even notice me until it was too late.”

The words stung, even though you hadn’t meant for them to come out so harshly. But Gojo didn’t flinch. He just stood there, taking it in, his jaw tight. “I notice you now.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah, but that’s not enough. It doesn’t change the fact that this happened. It doesn’t change what we went through.”

Gojo shifted, stepping closer, his voice soft but insistent. “I get it. I do. And maybe I didn’t see you before, not the way I should have, but I’m here now. I don’t want to make this harder for you. I just—”

You cut him off, your voice sharp with frustration. “What do you want, Gojo? You keep asking me what I want, but you haven’t told me what you want. Do you want me to stay around and pretend like none of this happened? Do you want me to just… be fine with whatever this is now? What do you want?”

Gojo was silent for a long moment, and for once, you could see the cracks in his usual armor. He didn’t have the answers this time, didn’t have the usual confidence he carried so effortlessly. He hesitated, as if searching for the right words, but they didn’t come easily.

“I don’t know,” he admitted finally, his voice quiet. “I just don’t want to lose you. Not like that.”

You felt your chest tighten, and you swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from spilling over. “You already did,” you whispered. “You lost me the moment I had to let go of everything I felt for you. You can’t just fix that.”

Gojo flinched, and for the first time since you’d known him, he looked lost. Completely and utterly lost. He took a deep breath, his voice barely audible. “I’m sorry.”

The apology hung in the air between you, heavy with all the things that couldn’t be unsaid, all the feelings that had already been taken from you. And as you stood there, staring at him, you realized that you didn’t have the energy to figure this out right now. You were still too raw, too afraid of what could happen if you stayed too close for too long.

“I need time,” you said softly, your voice shaky. “I need space, Gojo. Because I don’t know what happens next either, but I can’t let myself fall for you again. I can’t survive that.”

Gojo nodded slowly, his expression somber. “Take all the time you need. I won’t push.”

The room was quiet, the air thick with unspoken tension as you stood there, just a few feet away from Gojo. His presence was overwhelming, as it always had been, but now, there was something different. Something more vulnerable, more raw. You could see it in the way he stood, in the way he spoke—there were no barriers between you now, no more deflection, no more pretending that nothing had changed. Everything had changed, and there was no going back.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you looked at him, your voice barely a whisper as you asked the question that had been lingering in the back of your mind since your conversation began.

“And what if I love you again?”

The words hung in the air between you, heavy and uncertain, and for a moment, neither of you spoke. You could feel the weight of your own fear pressing down on you, the fear that had been gnawing at you since the surgery—the fear that it wasn’t truly over, that despite everything, despite the surgery meant to strip those feelings away, you could still fall for him again.

Gojo’s expression didn’t change, but his shoulders tensed, and you could see the way his hands twitched slightly, as though he was fighting the urge to reach out to you. His blindfold covered his eyes, but you could feel his gaze, heavy and intent, as he took in your words.

He let out a slow, controlled breath, his voice soft but steady when he finally spoke. “If you love me again… then we deal with that, too. Together.”

Your breath caught in your throat, your heart racing at the calm certainty in his voice. It wasn’t the answer you had expected—wasn’t the answer you were prepared for. You had thought Gojo would try to pull away, to protect both of you from the possibility of going through this all over again. But instead, he was standing here, telling you that if it happened—if you fell in love with him again—he wouldn’t run.

“You’re not scared of that?” you asked quietly, unable to keep the tremor from your voice.

Gojo’s lips twitched into a faint smile, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Of course I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice more serious than you were used to hearing from him. “I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of messing this up again. But I’m not going to let fear stop me from being here.”

You felt the tears welling up again, but this time, they weren’t just from fear or pain. There was something else—a quiet hope, fragile and new, but there. You had been so afraid of what might happen, of falling back into the same trap, that you hadn’t allowed yourself to consider the possibility that maybe… just maybe, things could be different.

“But what if it’s too much?” you asked, your voice shaking. “What if it happens again, and I can’t handle it? What if I love you, and it destroys me all over again?”

Gojo’s expression softened, and he took another step closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him. His voice was low, almost a whisper, as he spoke. “Then we don’t let it destroy you. I won’t let it.”

You blinked, staring at him, your heart pounding in your chest. You wanted to believe him, wanted to believe that things could be different this time. But the fear was still there, gnawing at the edges of your mind.

“And what about you?” you asked quietly. “What if I fall for you again… and you don’t feel the same?”

Gojo was silent for a moment, his expression thoughtful, and then, to your surprise, he reached up and pulled the blindfold off, revealing his eyes to you. His gaze was intense, piercing, as he looked at you—really looked at you—for what felt like the first time in a long time.

“If you fall for me again,” he said slowly, his voice soft but firm, “I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere this time.”

You stared at him, your breath catching in your throat. There was something so raw, so open in the way he looked at you, in the way he spoke. It wasn’t a promise of love, but it was a promise of something real—something honest. He wasn’t running. He wasn’t hiding.

And suddenly, the fear that had been gripping you loosened, just a little.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. “I don’t know if I can risk it again.”

Gojo stepped closer, his hand reaching out to gently brush against your arm. “You don’t have to decide now,” he said softly. “But if you ever do… if you ever feel like that again… I won’t run. I won’t let you go through it alone.”

Tears slipped down your cheeks, but this time, they were mixed with a strange sense of relief. The love you had once felt for him was gone, but the possibility of something new—something real—was still there. It scared you. It terrified you.

But maybe, just maybe, you didn’t have to be afraid of it anymore.

You looked up at Gojo, your heart pounding, your voice barely a whisper. “I’m still afraid.”

Gojo smiled gently, his hand lingering on your arm. “That’s okay,” he said. “I’m afraid too.”

And in that moment, standing there with him, you realized that maybe being afraid didn’t have to mean running away. Maybe being afraid meant facing it together, even if you didn’t know what would happen next.

“I’ll try,” you whispered, your voice shaky but filled with a quiet determination. “I’ll try not to be afraid.”

Gojo’s smile widened, and for the first time in a long time, it felt genuine. “That’s all I’m asking.”

You didn’t know what would happen from here. You didn’t know if you would ever fall for him again, or if the love you had once felt would return. But for now, it was enough to know that you didn’t have to face it alone.

Gojo tried to keep his distance, but he’s just too extra.

The air was warmer, the breeze softer as spring break arrived, and with it, a sense of relief that classes were over—at least for a little while. You hadn’t been looking forward to the break in any particular way, hoping for a quiet week to yourself, time to sort through everything that had been weighing on your mind. But, as always, things never seemed to go quite the way you planned when Gojo was involved.

It had started with Yuji, his usual excited grin lighting up the room as he bounded over to your group after class, bouncing with the energy of someone who clearly had plans for the week ahead. “Hey! You guys heard about Gojo-sensei’s beach house, right?” he asked, practically vibrating with enthusiasm.

You blinked, confused, exchanging a glance with Nobara and Megumi, who looked just as surprised as you felt. A beach house? Gojo never mentioned anything about a beach house.

Nobara crossed her arms, her expression skeptical. “Since when does Gojo have a beach house?”

Yuji beamed. “Since forever, apparently! He told me and Megumi yesterday. Said we should all go. Like, as a group thing. Spring break, you know? Hang out, relax, swim… It’ll be fun!”

Megumi sighed, looking like he was already dreading the trip. “I didn’t agree to this.”

But before anyone else could protest, Gojo strolled into the conversation, sunglasses perched on his head and that ever-present grin plastered across his face. “It’ll be fun,” he said, confirming Yuji’s announcement as if it were already settled. “You all could use a break, don’t you think?”

You watched him, your stomach twisting slightly. He hadn’t spoken to you directly about the trip, hadn’t even hinted at it, but now, as he stood there smiling like everything was already decided, you couldn’t help but wonder why he had invited all of you in the first place.

Was this really about giving everyone a break? Or was it about something else?

Nobara, clearly more interested in the idea than Megumi, shrugged. “I’m in. Beats sitting around doing nothing.”

Yuji clapped his hands together, excited that at least someone shared his enthusiasm. “Great! What about you?” he asked, turning to you with a hopeful grin.

You hesitated. Going to a beach house with the others, with Gojo, wasn’t exactly what you had planned for spring break. It felt too close, too personal, especially after everything that had happened between you and Gojo. But the way Yuji looked at you, his eagerness palpable, made it hard to say no.

Before you could answer, Gojo’s voice cut in, casual but somehow heavier than usual. “Come on, you deserve to relax too.” His words were light, but the way his gaze flickered toward you made it clear that this invitation wasn’t just about a group vacation. He wanted you there. And that realization made your heart race in a way you hadn’t expected.

You swallowed, forcing a small smile. “I guess I could use a break.”

Yuji practically jumped in excitement, and Nobara smirked, clearly satisfied that the group was coming together. Megumi just sighed in resignation. And Gojo? He didn’t say anything more, but you caught the way his lips curved slightly, like he was pleased you had agreed.

The beach house turned out to be even more impressive than you’d imagined—an expansive, modern villa perched on the edge of the sand, overlooking the crystal-clear water. It was quiet, secluded, and far too luxurious for just a simple group getaway. But, of course, it made sense that Gojo would have something like this, even if it seemed wildly out of place for a spring break with students.

You arrived with the others, your bags slung over your shoulder, taking in the sight of the house with wide eyes. Yuji immediately started talking about all the things he wanted to do—swim, play beach volleyball, explore the area—while Nobara admired the house itself, clearly impressed by Gojo’s taste. Megumi, predictably, looked like he wanted to crawl into a corner and avoid everything.

But you? You couldn’t shake the feeling that this trip wasn’t just about relaxing. It was about something more, something unspoken that lingered between you and Gojo.

He was there, of course, standing near the entrance, his sunglasses now resting on the top of his head, watching as everyone took in the surroundings. His usual grin was in place, but there was something different in his eyes when he glanced at you—something that made your stomach twist in uncertainty.

The day passed in a blur of activity. Yuji and Nobara dragged Megumi down to the beach, convincing him to at least try to have fun, while you stayed closer to the house, content to relax in the shade and enjoy the quiet. Gojo kept his distance for most of the day, busy keeping the others entertained and making sure everything was in order, but every so often, you caught him watching you—his gaze lingering longer than it should, as if he was trying to figure something out.

It wasn’t until later, as the sun began to set, that you found yourself alone with him. The others had retreated inside, tired from the day’s activities, and you had wandered down to the water’s edge, watching the waves roll in, the sky painted in shades of pink and gold.

Gojo approached quietly, his footsteps barely audible on the sand. You felt him before you saw him, his presence always impossible to ignore.

“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice carrying on the breeze.

You glanced at him, nodding slightly. “Yeah. Just… thinking.”

He stood beside you, his hands in his pockets, his gaze focused on the horizon. For a long moment, neither of you spoke, the sound of the ocean filling the silence between you. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but it wasn’t exactly peaceful either. There was a tension there, something unspoken, something that had been building since before you’d arrived.

“Why did you invite us here?” you asked finally, your voice quiet but steady.

Gojo hesitated, his usual easy grin faltering for just a second. “You guys needed a break.”

“We needed a break?” You turned to face him, raising an eyebrow. “Or I did?”

Gojo let out a soft chuckle, but it lacked his usual lightness. “Maybe both.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “What is this, Gojo? Why are you doing all of this? Why did you invite me here? What are you trying to figure out?”

He didn’t answer right away, his gaze still fixed on the water. But you could feel the weight of his thoughts, the way his usual playful demeanor was slipping, revealing something more vulnerable underneath.

“I don’t know,” he admitted quietly, his voice lower than you’d ever heard it. “I thought… maybe if we got out of the usual routine, it would help. Help me figure out what I’m doing.”

You frowned, confused. “What do you mean?”

Gojo finally looked at you, his eyes serious, the sunglasses forgotten. “I don’t know why I’m doing this. Why I’m trying so hard to keep you close, to keep you here. It’s like… I’m trying to hold onto something I didn’t even realize I wanted until it was too late.”

Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt a knot form in your stomach. “Gojo, I—”

“I’m not saying I’ve figured it out,” he cut in, his voice soft but insistent. “I’m just… trying to understand. What this is. What we are now.”

You stared at him, unsure of what to say. You had been so focused on your own fear, your own confusion, that you hadn’t considered what Gojo was feeling. And now, hearing him admit that he didn’t understand it either… it made everything feel even more complicated.

“I don’t know what this is either,” you said softly, your voice barely audible. “But I’m scared, Gojo. I’m scared of getting too close again.”

Gojo’s expression softened, and for a moment, he looked almost… unsure. “I know. And I don’t want to push you into anything. But… if you’re willing to figure it out with me...”

You looked out at the ocean, the waves crashing gently against the shore, and for the first time in a long time, you felt something shift inside you. It wasn’t love, not yet. But it was something. Something real, something worth exploring.

And maybe, just maybe, it was enough.

You nodded slowly, turning back to Gojo. “Okay. Let’s figure it out.”

Gojo smiled, a real, genuine smile, and for a moment, everything felt lighter.

notes: i'm writing a new fluff Gojo x you and ngl i think i ate this one, please wait just a bit! - If you'd like to be tagged, just let me know <3

tag list: @lily-of-my-dreams @sunnyx07 @3zae-zae3 @sashisuslover @kingshitonly @bvuckleybby @laviefantasie @r0ckst4rjk @minkyungseokie @tw0fvced @f1sheeee

#— [♡] by gigi #jjk #gojo #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x you #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #jujutsu kaisen gojo #jjk oneshot #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen oneshot #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo #satoru gojo oneshot #jujutsu kaisen

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hauntingofhouses · 11 months ago

Text

We all already know Mizu and Akemi are narrative foils. But you know what? Lemme just say it, here's what I think:

Taigen and Mikio are foils.

Not necessarily to each other as individuals in the way that Mizu and Akemi juxtapose each other, but mostly in the contrast between their relationships with Mizu.

I've covered specific parallels between Taigen and Mikio in other posts I wrote; but as the number of parallels I'm noticing between them keeps piling up, I'm compelled to just compile them all in one post. So! This is, thus, the post in question.

First of all, let's look at their similarities.

1. Their status in society is the same. They are both samurai who lost their honour and have dreams of reclaiming it.

2. They are also both diligent as they strive to achieve this goal, they both care deeply about their work, but here as they begin to contrast, as the work in question and way they go about their goals is different:

For Mikio, his work is in taming and rearing horses; in order to prove himself, he must tame Kai—a willful and strong horse—and present it to his lord. For Taigen, his work is in sword fighting and martial arts; in order to prove himself, he must kill Mizu—a willful and strong swordsman—and present her dead body to his lord.

In the parallel above, not only are Taigen and Mikio contrasting each other, but Mizu and Kai are placed in comparison as well. And of course, Kai is Mizu's horse, and represents her. Which is why, when later, Mikio sells Kai off, it represents the way he is tossing Mizu (and their relationship) aside.

From there, the rest of the details of their character begin to contrast and juxtapose each other more clearly. So let's look at those differences, shall we?

Their backstory:

Mikio was a great samurai who was banished. A somebody to a nobody. Taigen was a fisherman’s son who rose to the top. A nobody to a somebody.

2. The first time we meet them on-screen:

Mikio is an adult. An older man. Mizu's superior in age. He is Mizu's to-be husband. A love interest. Taigen is a child. A young boy. Mizu's peer in age. He is Mizu's bully. An antagonist.

3. Their maturity and growth:

Mikio is mature, but stuck in his ways. Taigen is immature, but capable of changing and learning.

4. Their overall attitude:

Mikio is generally relaxed, easy-going and unfussy. Taigen is uptight, irritable and severe.

5. How they talk to and conduct themselves around Mizu:

Mikio is aloof, soft-spoken, and serious. Taigen is obnoxious, brash, and sarcastic. Mikio is quiet, speaking only when spoken to, even when Mizu turns to smile at him and shows openness to be near him. Taigen is loud, talking while others are silent, even when Mizu turns from him and shows no interest in conversing with him.

Mikio doesn't show much of who he is to Mizu throughout their marriage, despite their growing affection. Taigen openly shares his traumas and life story to Mizu during their brief alliance, despite their mutual antagonism.

6. Their external vs internal selves:

Mikio is calm, gentle, and considerate on the outside. Taigen is hot-headed, rude, and selfish on the outside. Mikio is cowardly and deceitful on the inside. Taigen is brave and loyal to a fault on the inside. Mikio tells Mizu that he wants to know and see all of her. But he scorns and betrays her, the woman he loves. Taigen tells Mizu that he wants to duel and kill him. But he endures torture to not betray him, the man he hates.

9. Their hair, a symbol of their honour:

Mikio's topknot is untied by Mizu during their spar. This humiliation occurs in private, the two of them alone in a rural location where no one can see them. Taigen's topknot is cut off by Mizu during their duel. This humiliation occurs in public, the two of them being watched by many others in the Shindo Dojo.

10. Their power dynamic with Mizu:

Mikio believes he is Mizu's mentor. He teaches her to throw knives, how to ride and care for horses, and about the tactical benefits of using a naginata. Taigen believes he is Mizu's equal. He views Mizu as a samurai like himself who received all the same teachings he did, and who possesses the same values.

11. Their perceptions of Mizu:

Mikio sees Mizu's feminine side first. He sees her as sweet and gentle, but also clumsy and incompetent. Taigen sees Mizu's masculine side first. He sees her as terrifying and deadly, but also strong and skilled.

12. The way they approach sparring with Mizu:

Mikio only spars with Mizu once. As the fight progresses and she is beating him, he tries to put a stop to it. When she teases/provokes him, he starts taking the fight personally and seriously, finding no enjoyment in it. Taigen spars and brawls with Mizu all the time. No matter how many times Mizu beats him, he doesn't back down. When Mizu challenges him with a chopstick, he is eager to compete with her and gladly rises up to the challenge.

Mikio and Mizu's one and only spar is a friendly match; Mizu is smiling and having fun while he grows increasingly frustrated. Taigen and Mizu's last-seen spar is a playful wrestling match; both him and Mizu are having fun and laughing.

Mikio cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, so he scorns her and walks off, avoiding her thereafter. When Taigen cannot deal with Mizu being better than him, he follows her to observe her moves and continues training in hopes to eventually beat her. After being bested by Mizu once, Mikio leaves her and sells the horse he'd previously gifted to her. After many times losing to Mizu and fighting alongside her, Taigen commends her and admits she is better than him.

13. When Mizu pins them down in a friendly spar:

Mikio sees Mizu's whole face objectively. Taigen stares at Mizu's mouth and eyes.

Mikio gets angry when she kisses him, throwing her off of him and snapping at her, calling her a monster. Taigen gets aroused, apologising, so she pulls herself off of him.

14. Mizu's blue meteorite sword is a reflection of her soul. She believes most are undeserving to face it, let alone hold it. And on that note:

Mikio is the first person (chronologically) that Mizu fights against using her sword. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) that Mizu fights against with her sword. Mikio is the first person (chronologically) to ever hold her sword, as she passes it to him, letting him wield it. Taigen is the first person (we see on-screen) to ever hold her sword, as she passes out, and he picks it up and carries it for her.

15. Then, last but not least, in Fowler's fortress, when she is drugged and in pain, she hears Ringo's voice in the dungeon. She then follows it to an open cell:

Mizu first sees Mikio as a hallucination, the sight of him haunting her and causing her to lose her grip on reality. Her eyes glow a surreal blue to represent this. Her Mama appears then and says Mizu's name accusingly.

Mizu then sees Taigen, but he is real, the sight of him a relief and grounding her back to reality. Her eyes return to their normal blue colour to represent this. Taigen looks at Mizu weakly and says her name softly.

Then, later, when facing Fowler, her revenge awaiting her, she instead chooses to follow her conscience (represented by Ringo's voice in her mind), putting aside her vengeance for a time, in order to save Taigen.

So that's basically all the ones I've noticed so far, but even then, I feel there's already so much that forms a contrast between these two.

What makes it especially incredible about these juxtapositions is that Mikio was Mizu's husband, the man she had fallen in love with, the one person she had ever been intimate with, the man who made her begin to accept herself, to put down her desire for vengeance and instead live a life of peace and happiness.

So for Taigen to have so many parallels with him... Do you see what I'm saying here!

Not to mention that Mizu clearly already has some burgeoning attraction to him, as indicated by how she thinks of him when asked about her desires. And Taigen clearly has shown interest as well (see: him getting a boner after their spar, him holding her hand and telling her, "We're not done yet.").

And on the topic of speculating future possibilities of this relationship, this post by @stromblessed has pointed out yet another parallel between Taigen and Mikio:

Mizu promises Taigen to meet him for their duel in autumn. Mizu fell in love with Mikio and duelled him during autumn.

With all that said, I do believe Mizu and Taigen's relationship is definitely hurtling towards something. But whether they will actually end up together in a sustainable relationship and have a happily ever after? Well, that is a whole other story; we'll just have to wait and see.

#blue eye samurai #mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #taigen blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #hope yall enjoy my thesis on virgin mikio vs chad taigen #this was written last night when i shouldve been writing the new chapter for my taimizu fic that i promised i would work on....whoopsies...#i will get to it eventually but i just have to get a firmer grip on characterisation before i can delve further into it yk #on that note. i kiiinda regret posting the fic on a whim!#my last longfic was written better because i had the whole thing complete and could go back and edit/polish/revise before posting #so it came out much more coherent and consistent ykwim?#this fic might suffer a bit for this reason 🤒#but its fine i have to remind myself im just doing it for funsies #anyway here have another long ass meta post from yours truly #meta dissertations.pdf #shut up haydar #fandom.rtf

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sweet-as-an-angel · 2 years ago

Note

Maybe Ghost Konig and any other cod characters you write for with an s/o who’s very insecure about their stretch marks? Thank you very much

MW2 w/ an S/O who is Insecure about their Stretch Marks

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, No Pronouns used for Reader except for 'You', Implications of Smut, Knife Play, Insecurity, Anxiety/Upset, Minor Implications/Spoilers about Ghost’s Past, Mention of a Strap-On, Brief Mention of Murder/Killing, Angst, Fluff, Possessiveness, Protectiveness, etc.

Ghost:

Has absolutely zero clue as to why you're insecure about your stretch marks.

Genuinely never even thought of them before now, even though he’s seen them many a time.

However, when you expressed concerns over the way you looked - the way you felt - because of these marks, he set about trying to make you feel better immediately.

He’s not the most emotionally mature person; having to grow up as quickly as he did at such an early age definitely stunted his emotional growth, making it difficult for him to feel and express emotions clearly.

But for you, he’ll try his best.

He starts nuzzling into your thighs and stomach more often outside of sex; just tender moments between the two of you, with him showcasing how much he loves you and your body.

He’d try words of affirmation, saying how he thought you looked “Positively spiffing” (he was using the term humorously but meant every word) in your outfit.

Whenever you cracked a smile, he’d feel triumph bloom like solid gold in his chest, casting him in a glow of pride.

Eventually, he’d showcase to you the parts of himself he would never show another soul.

One evening, Simon had his hoodie off, his back and chest fully exposed to you. And all the scars that seared across them. You tracked your finger along them, creeping from one gash to another. All the while, Simon rhymed them off to you: when, where and how he’d gotten them.

You traced one on his shoulder blade. The warm glow of the room belying the horrific means through which the scar was attained.

“Paris, terrorist attack, twenty-ten.”

“I never heard of an attack in Paris then,” you said, tone questioning.

Simon cast a lopsided smile over his shoulder at you. You caught it.

“That’s the point.”

He turned to face you fully, placing a hand on your waist, beginning to hike your shirt up. You placed your hands over his, shaking your head, a wide-eyed expression overtaking you.

“No, Simon,” you said quietly. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. His head tilted.

“Why not?” He said. “Have I done something to upset you?”

At that, your eyes snapped up and found his, dark and gleaming. You shook your head, vehement in your judgement.

“No, God no! Simon, it’s not you, it’s-”

“Don’t say it’s you - don’t you dare say it.”

The authority in his tone made you ache in places you didn’t want to think about right now. You shifted.

“But…it is me, Simon.” You felt your eyes and throat sting with tears. “It’s always me.”

“Love–” Simon’s movements were stutterish as he took your chin in his hand and inched your face up to meet his. You tried resisting, but he wasn’t going to let this rest. “Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

There lay a desperation in his voice you’d never heard before, and neither had Simon. You sniffed, and, your eyes shimmering with tears, you looked up at him. Only sincerity painted his features, no trace of condemnation or judgement hanging upon a single point. You swallowed.

“It’s just that…I appreciate what you’re doing for me - believe me, I do ! - but…”

“...But…?”

“But your scars mean something; you got them through protecting people, fighting for them - caring for what matters most–” You choked on a sob, tears starting to roll down your cheeks. “And mine are just…” it burned your tongue to say it, “there.”

Simon went quiet for a moment.

“(Y/N)...” His voice was a rumble of thunder, the cleansing storm rising over the tainted hill. He took your hands in his, abandoning your shirt. He rubbed reassurances into your hands, tracing the veins, the valleys of muscle and the alleys of life which pumped through them. His eyes seemed to turn down at the ends, round, doe-like.

“Your marks are not ‘just there’.” He wiped a stream of tears indenting the heather face of your cheek, and his hand remained there, collecting those which followed. “They are evidence of how you’ve lived, how you’ve survived,”

His hand dropped to your chin, bringing your face up to his once more, shining his moonbeams upon you.

“They show how you’ve grown. How you’ve lived and enjoyed a life you made for yourself. Your marks succeed where mine have failed; yours scream life, while mine whisper death - a life loved, and lives taken.”

Your mouth fell open. You were aghast, unable to conjure anything in your vocabulary that was either expansive or emotive enough to convey all that you felt. Your chest broke out into warmth, the dawn of a new perspective shining upon you as Simon did now.

Before you could form a sentence - as blubbering and elementary as it would be - Simon pressed a kiss to the corner of your lips. It was warm, all-encompassing, musical and low in the ringing silence of your desolate ocean.

He parted, cautiously, lips peeling from yours as if you were attached there, and looked upon you. Your cheeks were beginning to sting with the salt of your tears, vaguely chemical against your skin. You clambered into Simon’s arms, wounded and healing, and encompassed as much of him in your arms as you could.

“Your scars are beautiful, Simon,” you whispered into his chest. “No matter what you think - no matter what you say - I’ll always find them so.” You nuzzled into his neck. “I’ll always find them you.”

You heard Simon sniff, felt his chest rise with the sudden influx of air - emotion. You didn’t look up. You allowed him emotional anonymity.

“And I’ll always love your marks, (Y/N),” his voice strained, whispering and wisping. “I’ll always love them on you–” he pressed a strong, permanent kiss to your head, “--I’ll always love you.”

The evening consumed you, whisking you from the mortal coil to that of the metaphysical, that which was hidden to all but you and Simon, where you joined once again, physical bodies bound in a tight embrace, slumbering, dreaming.

König:

You actually came to König, sliding into his lap as he read a book, unable to keep what was eating you alive a secret any longer.

“Maus?” he said, putting Pride and Prejudice down and turning his full attention to you. “Is something the matter?”

You kept your head down and nuzzled into his chest, hoping his shirt would soak the tears staining your cheeks.

König tried to crane his neck down to see your face, but you hid it further into the cotton of his jumper.

König sighed, then began rubbing your back with a large hand.

“Whatever it is, we can fix it,” he said softly, gently. “No matter what.”

Maye thirty minutes passed, maybe it was only five, and König remained quiet for the duration, occasionally squeezing you and pressing a kiss to your head.

“I hate them,” you muttered, voice muffled by König’s chest.

Immediately, his back was up, like a cat’s. If he had the ears, they’d have been pricked.

“What?” he said, voice hard and thin, like a spear. You jumped in his lap and he sank back down, patting your head, a silent apology for his outburst.

His voice sounded as if it were spread thin, trying to conceal something far bigger than itself.

“Who has upset you so, maus?” He was careful with his words, trying to keep the extent of his bubbling anger at bay.

Finally, you looked up into his large, soft gaze. His eyes widened.

Your face was red in places, a map of countries in a continent called Sorrow.

Your eyes glistened, and König’s breath caught in his throat.

Before he could ask what was wrong, you shuffled off his lap and stood before him. You lifted your top and held it in your limp hand.

König’s eyes moved across your body as if searching for an injury, and when he turned up nothing, he looked you in the eyes.

“Maus, my lovely– I don’t understand,” König said as he shifted to the edge of the sofa, ready to jump up at your command.

You sighed deeply. “Don’t you see?” you said, folding your arms across your chest. “Don’t you see them, König?”

“See what?” His tone was becoming gradually frantic.

You huffed. “My marks, König! My– ugly– disgusting–”

“Hey, hey–” he slid off the sofa and enveloped you in his arms, holding you close to him, “--they are not ugly! Just– listen to me, maus–

“How do you deal with them?” you said, quiet as your namesake. Exasperated. “Your scars, Köni…how do you live with them?” Your voice croaked with tears, and the lump in your throat grew, bobbed up and down. It burned, reminded you of why you were here to begin with.

König thought for a moment, going quiet, his arms still wrapped around you. His hand squeezed your shoulder, fingers pressing soft, repetitive circles into your skin, a cycle of comfort. His warmth - his scent of pine - filled your senses, held you as he did now.

“There was a time,” he said, finally, his voice a whisper, “not too long ago, when… they made me hate myself, hate what I’d become.” He took your chin between his fingers and inched your face to meet his. He smiled, eyes crinkling. “But then I met you, and you told me how pretty you thought they were; ‘like tattoos,’ you said.” The memory tickled your mind and you couldn’t help but smile at the image of you sat on König’s chest, trailing a light finger just below his scars, afraid to touch them - their history - for fear it would hurt your dear König. He urged you to feel them, to make himself entirely transparent to you.

“And that’s how I have grown to like - to love - them. Because your opinion means more to me than mine does.”

The stinging sensation in your eyes strengthened, and you couldn’t help but let a tear slip. Though, not of your own despair, but of your love for König, and his apparent adoration for you. König could tell your tears were not of sorrow, and he pressed a slow, light kiss to your lips.

“Unless you’re planning on leaving me for another man, I suggest you only listen to me from now on.” His smile made his cheeks round and full, his eyes turn into half moons.

“And what makes you sure I could leave you for someone else?” you said, speculatively, jokingly. Inquisitively. König gave an honest chuckle, taking your face between his hands and squishing your cheeks.

“With a body like that, you could have any man you wanted.” His tone was light yet held a hidden weight, a seriousness, perhaps an insecurity, he didn’t want to address. “I’m just glad you chose me.”

He punctuated his claim with another kiss, deeper, hotter this time.

Soap:

You were turned over in bed beside Soap, who, despite your best efforts to conceal yourself, heard your soft chokes of tears.

His initial, instinctive reaction had been to envelop you in his kisses, slip his arms around your waist and pull you flush against him, to implore you to tell him what had made you so upset.

But, as he lay on his side of the bed, listening to your silken sobs into your pillow, he felt his chest break out into weighted feeling of dread, tree roots digging through the skin and into his very being, tinging his blood with a most negative sensation of blackened lightning.

Empathy, one might call it. He was feeling what you felt.

He couldn’t take it, your tears, your despair, and so he turned, gently, onto his other side and faced your back.

He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you flinched.

“Oh!” you said, patting your face with your sleeve. “Sorry, Johnny– I didn’t mean to wake you,”

Your voice was deceivingly light, airy - a front to throw Soap off your scent.

Soap didn’t bother with the formalities. His only priority now was you.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?” he said. He pulled your shoulder back, willing you to at least look at him.

You didn’t move.

You refused to.

“Nothing, love,” you said, hushed beneath the tension in the room.

You turned, offering only a peak of your facial silhouette, sacrificing it to the sliver of moonlight peeking through the blinds.

It was wet, despite your best efforts to conceal any evidence of your upset.

Soap restrained a sigh and watched you try to burrow your way back into your pillow before he started asking any more questions. Without warning, he forced you to look at him, pulling you so you lay on your back. He sank down on top of you, knees bolted to your sides - one of which sat dangerously close to the edge of the bed, threatening to slip off at any moment.

His gaze was direct and impenetrable as he searched your eyes, hands pinning your wrists beside your head. His strength was unrelenting, unmoving. He wasn’t going to let you off easy on this.

“Now, then,” he said, voice low and dyed an erotic tone of resolution with his accent. “Are ye gonna tell me what’s upset you, or am I gonna have to force it out of ye?”

You knew he was joking, and you shared the knowledge that this was his way of trying to make you feel secure - that you could trust him. But of course, you already knew that.

You gaze drifted down to where yours and Soap’s thighs met, and the weight that had been pressing on you for weeks jumped down onto your chest again, urging a fresh set of tears to emerge. You looked away, off to the side, hoping you could hide the dried streaks your tears had left behind.

“Hey, Sweetie, look at me– look at me.” Soap’s voice grew stern, and, when you refused to cooperate, he took your chin between his fingers and made you look at him, grip decidedly firm yet gentle.

“Angel, baby–” his eyes pleaded with you for an answer. “What’s wrong?”

You couldn’t hold it anymore and burst into tears, trying to keep your sobs quiet. Soap remained atop you, caressing the side of your face. Your tears were thick, almost viscous with all that had caused them, as if they, too, bore the weight of what plagued you.

“My marks,” you said, your voice merely a sound rather than a sentence. Soap’s head tilted as he looked down at you.

“What was that?” he said, unsure as to whether he’d heard you correctly. You sniffed, fortified your voice.

“My marks,” you repeated, clearer now.

Soap looked at you as if you were speaking another language, and you mistook his silence for perhaps the oncomings of a laugh. Or worse yet, agreement.

Soap scoffed alright, but he didn’t laugh. Instead he rearranged so he sat further down your body. He lifted your shirt, which you tried to pull down. He growled and practically tore it off you. And you let him. He stared down at your abdomen, your thighs, and sighed deeply.

“Why on earth are you worried about your stretch marks?” he said, absolute and firm, as if it were the most obvious question in the world. You almost wanted to shrug and apologise for wasting his time, but you remained quiet.

“These marks,” he began, lowering his face to your stomach, “are part of you. You know what that means?” His gaze flickered from your abdomen to your face. When you shook your head, Soap gave a huff of a laugh, his breath hot and circling against your skin.

“It means that they’re not the burden you think they are; they’re not unsightly, or ugly, or anything else you can think to call them. They’re beautiful because they are you.”

Your tears were still welling, and Soap pressed a soft kiss to your stomach. Then another. Then another. He linked a chain of kisses, inching further down your body, reaching the band of your underwear. He looked up at you beneath heavy lids. He dipped his tongue beneath the band, making you jolt. He laughed.

“I mustn’t have been doing a good job of showing you how beautiful you are,” he said, lowly. His hands slid to your hips, hooking his fingers over the edge of your underwear and tugging them down.

“It’s time I changed that.”

Price:

He’d picked up on your off mood every day this week, but he’d wanted you to come to him when you were ready, rather than him chase you up about something you didn’t necessarily want to talk about.

You never cracked, though. Not even once.

You’d kept your thoughts to yourself, yet your body betrayed you.

Whenever Price had initiated something in the bedroom, you’d shied away, putting your hands against his chest and giving a weak, watery smile.

“Maybe another night?” you’d say, and Price respected your wishes.

But, he was growing agitated.

It wasn’t his sexual frustration which urged him to act, but his frustration at himself for not being able to tell what was troubling you.

He was your protector; it was his duty, his pleasure to look out for you in any way you needed him.

And he felt like he was failing.

Eventually, he asked you outright what had gotten you so upset, and when you reluctantly told him it was your stretch marks, Price sat there. Flabbergasted.

“That’s it?” He couldn’t help himself saying. But when he saw how much the topic meant to you after you gave him a stormy look, he changed his tune.

Consoled you well into the night, holding you, burying kisses into your skin, drawing lines against your marks, saying how he found them beautiful because they were “Part of you.”

Never lets you go a day without feeling appreciated - more so than he did prior to this discovery.

“You know, Darling,” Price began, laying in bed with you in his arms, “I can’t remember what my life was like before you came.”

You looked up at him. He nuzzled the tip of his nose against your hair.

“And I can’t imagine what it would be like without you in it.” The smile in his voice was more than a mere tone, but a feeling, deep and sincere, the epitome of love itself.

Your face broke out into a grin, beams shining through the clouded sky. “Oh?” you said, bringing your thigh over his middle. You slid on top of him, knees either side of his waist. You planted your hands on his chest, rubbing slowly. His chest rumbled, the beginnings of a purr. His eyes gleamed, his lips curled up beneath his moustache, pinched as raised theatre curtains

“How about I show you how much you mean to me?” Your request was more foreshadowing than anything else, but, in a plot twist, John gripped you by your thighs and rolled so that he was now on top of you, your wrists pinned beside your head.

He brought his face down beside your head. “Last I checked, that was my job,” he rasped, his beard scratching the side of your face. He slid a hand down to the hem of your night shirt, raising it over your stomach. “And I don’t plan on retiring.”

Alejandro:

Is on the offensive immediately.

Thinks somebody’s said something to you that made you upset.

“Who was it, mi amor? Who do I have to kill?”

It would take all your strength to keep him from storming out the house and popping a cap in the first person he suspected as being the perpetrator.

You’d have to explain to him that nobody’s said anything to hurt your feelings, and that your insecurity about your stretch marks has been with you since you were young.

“It’s just the way I am, Love,” you’d say, casting a diluted smile Alejandro’s way. “‘Ts just the way things are.”

This shocks Alejandro; sends him into a catatonic state, even.

Not once had he even considered your stretch marks a point of insecurity: not for you, or him.

In fact, he thought they were cool, and whenever he’d show you his scars, he’d smile. “Now we’re matching!” He’d say.

After you’d expressed your insecurities about your marks, he’d never let you go a day where he’d remind you you’re beautiful (though, that isn’t saying much; there isn’t a day that goes by where he doesn’t make you feel worthy and loved. He just tries even harder).

Man’s a body worshiper if ever I saw one (and I have seen many).

When you’re laying down together and he has his head on your thighs, he’ll randomly turn around and start kissing your marks.

Only does this in private, and with good reason.

Definitely the type to use tongue, even if it’s on the surface of your skin.

Will not let you leave until he’s convinced you’re feeling better about yourself.

Tells you that his mission in life is to “Make you realise how beautiful you are in everyone else’s eyes, even if you don’t see it yourself.”

You can definitely use the insecurity card to request - ahem - ‘snuggle time’ with Alejandro.

If you say to him in your whiny voice: “Baaabe, I’m not feeling too good about myself today,” he’ll be on you like a rash.

You may think you’ve got one over on him, but don’t be fooled.

He knows what you’re doing, but he’s not going to stop you.

After all, why would he ever pass up the opportunity to show the person he loves most in all the world how beautiful they are?

“There will never be a day where I will not worship you, mi corazón,” he panted, pressing open-mouthed kisses to your thighs. “You are my god - my religion.”

His eyes gleamed as he looked up at you from between your legs. “My life.”

You screwed your eyes shut and whined when he licked a stripe against your underwear, catching you where you needed him most.

“Alejandro,” you whispered, his name a prayer on your lips. “Please,”

“Say it.” He slid a hand over your stomach, feeling your skin, your marks, beneath his warmth. “Say what you want me to do and I’ll give it to you.” There was no hint of a lie in his words, only the inescapable truth of his undying love for you and everything your body had to offer.

Between glistening eyes and an open mouth, you let him in. “You.”

Alejandro left many bruises and bites on you that night, all borne out of love. And, afterwards, as he looked upon your sleeping form, all he could think was of how ethereal you looked, and how lucky he was to have managed to find someone like you.

Valeria:

She simply won’t hear of it.

She’s quite an aggressive woman, and she expresses her love and adoration likewise.

Therefore, when you end up confiding in her that there is even a single part of yourself you’re insecure about, she flips her lid.

Not at you, of course. At who or whatever has made you feel this way.

She throws her hands up and curses in Spanish, saying how only she’s “allowed to make you feel that way.”

And she means it.

She won’t let you feel bad unless she wants you to (and even then it’s because you’ve whined and moaned for it).

Trust that she’s watching you like a hawk 24/7 after that.

If she finds you looking at your marks with anything less than adoration, she’ll drag you into the bedroom and force you to say you do, otherwise she’s not relenting with that ten inch strap-on.

She’s sensitive, however.

When she can tell that a quick therapy session isn’t going to change your mind, she’ll just sit with you and listen, make you a drink and hold you when you cry.

She’ll come up with the idea to name them - so they “feel like friends rather than enemies,”

Places warm, soft kisses along your marks, christening them with her love when you’ve decided on a name.

If you name one after her, she’ll be honoured.

“Now I’ll be with you forever,” she’ll say, wrapping her arms around your waist. “On you forever, I should say.”

Valeria dragged you into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. One of her men guarded the other side, frightening off other club-goers.

Valeria’s eyes were heavy, dark and all-consuming with a feral rage that only occurred under rare circumstances, those being her jealousy. She gave you little time to protest as she hiked you up onto the counter, the tap digging into your back.

“I’ll murder him,” she said, voice rasping with drink and the need to mark you - to take you. “I’ll kill them all - all those bastards that looked at you.”

“Valeria, please,” you gasped when she cut the lining of your jeans open, making the button pop and recede into a dark, grimy corner of the tiled room. Valeria brought the knife to your throat, her voice snarling and serious as death.

“I am the only one who can look at you.” The tip of her knife began its slow descent to the collar of your shirt, which she separated from your body with a long, ripping tear. Now, chest exposed, you yelped. Valeria forced your legs apart and crouched between them. Her knife sat at the waistband of your underwear.

“You’re mine,” she promised. “And if I need to mark you myself–” she trailed the tip of her weapon along the marks on your hips, “–then so be it.”

Gaz:

Will look at you like you’ve just asked him to recite Pi.

What???

What do you mean you don’t think your stretch marks look good?

Gaz thinks they look perfect!

He can’t imagine you without them; he’s genuinely emotionally attached to them.

You should’ve guessed as much when you felt him tracing them as you lay in bed.

Fr though, Gaz understands why you feel insecure, but he doesn’t understand why, if that makes sense.

He knows certain things get to you, thus making it plausible that you would become upset with something you found on your person, but he doesn’t understand why you’re insecure.

He can feel himself getting angry whenever he hears you talking - or even thinking - bad about yourself.

He’s not mad at you! Not at all.

He’s simply aggravated by the fact that something or someone has made it so you can’t see yourself the way he sees you.

To cheer you up, he’ll start relaying extremely specific compliments to you.

“I’d love you if you were a two foot tall worm with a receding hairline.”

“Uuuh…thank you?”

Though, if he found those didn’t work or, God forbid, made you feel worse-

“So you’re saying that you only find my personality attractive and not my body.”

– He’ll find another way of lifting your spirits.

“I would commit arson if you ever tried to get rid of your stretch marks.”

“...Why?”

“Because I love them and they’re my friends 🥺.”

Btw he’s fr about that - he sees your stretch marks as individual, sentient beings.

And he begins to tell you the backstories he’s made up for them.

And you can’t help but get attached to them, too.

“Hold on, why does Antonio get to be seen today and not Felicity?” you asked, holding the sleeveless vest to your torso. Gaz returned, throwing a pile of yet more sleeveless shirts, vests and other variants onto the bed.

“Because I haven’t seen Antonio all week and I’m starting to think you’re playing favourites.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Poor guy’s probably suffocating under all those jumpers you wear!”

“Oh?” You raised and eyebrow, looking at Gaz in the mirror. “And what are you going to do about it?”

Gaz threw you a devilish smile, the corners of his lips pointing up like horns, sharp and curled. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, holding the vest against you.

“Put the vest on and you won’t have to find out.” He pressed a constellation of kisses to your shoulder, up the connecting junction of your neck and shoulder, until he reached your jaw. “Unless you want to.”

Graves:

When you initially told him, he wasn’t sure how to respond.

Genuinely thought money would make all your problems go away.

He threw a wad of rolled-up George Washingtons at you and told you to “Buy something nice - do yourself up pretty.”

Obviously, not the best thing to say to somebody who’s insecure.

And when you didn’t talk to him for days afterwards, he realised where he’d gone wrong.

You wanted reassurance, not a solution.

See, he’s so used to using money to make his problems disappear that he thought it’d be a quick fix for you, too.

Pokes his head round the bedroom door like heeeyyy~ before taking a seat beside you on the bed.

“Look, I’m sorry for what I said. I didn’t realise you just wanted to talk rather than have me fix the problem.”

His wording’s still very off, but he’s working on it with gentle guidance from you.

He genuinely never realised your stretch marks were an insecurity for you, though, hencewhy he’s not so good at the whole ‘reassurance’ thing.

He learns quickly, though.

It starts off with small gestures; putting a hand over your marks, looking at them fondly, telling you how gorgeous you were every single day.

And, eventually, when you’re being more…intimate, he’ll refuse to let you cover yourself up (unless you really want to, ofc).

Trying to hide your marks? Not for long - Phillip’s got a PHD in cloth tearing, and you’re his first job.

“I don’t remember telling you you could do that.”

Aggressive love. Full-on laving his tongue over your marks.

“Just markin’ what’s mine, Angel.”

Doesn’t give you even a second to feel insecure anymore.

Encourages you to wear clothing that reveals your marks if he thinks it’ll make you feel better.

Again, won’t force you to; if you don’t like revealing clothing overall, he’ll make sure to find other ways of empowering you.

Gets very territorial whenever he catches someone staring at you because he firmly believes that, 100% of the time, it’s because they’re checking you out.

Will glower at them with his eyes until they look away, cowering.

And all the while he’s looking at you, thinking God damn, I can’t believe I managed to pull you <3

“Love, why did you stare at that man in the bar earlier?” You asked, not looking up from your book. In the dim light of the bedroom, you saw Phillip’s head turn, looking at you. In your periphery, you saw his cheeks lift. He crept closer.

“Ain’t it natural for a man to want to protect what’s his?” His voice carried with it a weight you recognised as rhetorical. You put your book down on the bedside table and resisted a knowing smile.

“I don’t know,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “Is it?”

A sly smile crossed Graves’ face, and, in an instant, he was on top of you, his weight definite and promising of something. He wrangled your arms, pinning them above your head. And you only smiled up at him as he beamed down at you.

“Oh, I think you know it is.” His eyes gave no way to humour or jest, possessing within their oyster shell colour a pearl of the rarest, most valuable material: love.

Graves leaned down, and, biting the shell of your ear, pressing a kiss beneath it, whispered.

“And you know how much I hate sharin’.”

Reblog for more content like this! It helps creators like myself tremendously :-)

Masterlist Masterlist [Continued] Masterpost Modern Warfare AI Masterlist

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lemotmo · 1 month ago

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!!!! This This This. We cannot help them anymore. This is it. This is the entire point !!!! Surely they see this?!?!

Q. Nope sorry I call foul. They absolutely played us. They built up this big plane emergency and released just enough grainy, no context BTS stuff to imply that Tommy would be utilized, because why would you not use your canon PILOT to help land a freaking plane, and not only was he not utilized he wasn't even in the two episodes. They used him to generate the buzz but then left him out completely. Nope that's disgusting.

A. I debated whether or not to answer this and initially I was going to ignore it, but I decided this was a good opportunity to highlight the difference between show importance and fandom importance. The show didn't use him to promote anything. We got b&w photos of a hanger, a partial plane, trucks from every fire station in the 911 universe and a grainy image of someone's silhouette. That was the BTS of these episodes. You all made them about Tommy because that's what you've done since 7x4. The show has never made anything about Tommy. You all twist everything into being about Tommy so you can call foul when it inevitably has nothing at all to do with him.

Tommy has never existed as a character in his own right. His has never had a scene that was about him. Every scene and interaction has had something to do with the development of one of the core four. For Chim and Hen they needed him to be racist and sexist, so that's how they wrote him. He only changed his behavior towards them when they had done something that he felt was worthy of changing his opinion. But it wasn't about changing how Tommy saw them, it was about changing how they saw themselves. Tommy wasn't the point of anything. He was the plot device used to help them with their character growth. When it came time to do Buck's bi storyline they needed a plot device to help introduce him to that new realization. So Tommy was written as gay. He was given a few sentences about struggling to accept himself and come out as a way to explain to the audience why he wasn't gay when we were first introduced to him. The reality is though that he wasn't gay when we first met him. He's gay now because the plot called for him to be gay. That's the entire point of a plot device. They become whatever the plot needs their character to be because they are not the point. The plot they are being used for is the point. In this case Buck and by extension Eddie are the point. So Tommy becomes whatever Buck or Eddie need his character to be.

Tommy wasn't involved in the opening arc because the opening arc wasn't about Buck or whatever internal struggle Eddie is dealing with. As far as the show is concerned Tommy doesn't exist outside of that story bubble so he doesn't need to be used in any other storyline on the show. Again, that's the entire point of a plot device. They exist only to move the plot they're involved in forward. It was important that he was a pilot last season because it was a way to introduce him to Buck and Eddie. It's not important anymore. That particular aspect of him has already served its purpose. The show no longer cares that he's a pilot because they don't need that part of him in the Buck storyline anymore. He had a scene in 8x1 because it was a scene about Eddie and by extension Buck so Tommy was needed because that's the storyline he's being used for. But any scene not related to Buck and Eddie's plot will not utilize Tommy because he doesn't exist outside of that plot. I know I keep saying this, but again, that's the entire point of a plot device. He doesn't exist for himself. He only exists for the plot.

The show gave you a handful of scenes. None of them had anything whatsoever to do with Tommy. They showed him during the cruise ship rescue with Buck and Eddie. They showed him playing basketball with Eddie and Buck being jealous. They showed him going to Buck's to apologize for coming between Buck and Eddie, a scene in which Eddie's name was said so many times it's hysterical. They showed him and Buck on a first date where they ran into Eddie. They showed a coffee date where Buck says he wants to try and invites him to his sister's wedding. They showed him at the bachelor party, again with Buck and Eddie only this time they were also dressed in coordinating costumes. They showed him at the medal ceremony, but not as Buck's person when he received his medal. They showed him at the hospital where Buck basically outed himself to everyone but made a point of showing Eddie's reaction. They showed him having dinner with Buck after Bobby's accident, a scene that's more interesting to me now and I will explain why in a minute. Then his one scene in the first episode of the season. He doesn't exist away from Buck or Eddie. But you all took those scenes and made them about him. You made the first kiss about Tommy instead of Buck's clear misplacement of what his true confusion was in that moment. You took the bachelor party scene and made it about Tommy showing effort by bothering to show up and chose to ignore the entire point of the bachelor party scenes which were Buck and Eddie. You took the dinner scene in the finale and made it a flirty date ignoring the awkward point of that scene entirely.

The dinner scene from the finale is really interesting to me now that we have Oliver's interviews and the Tommy/Henren deleted scene as context. The dialogue in that scene is brutally awkward and cringe and while I still think it was wildly out of place within the episode it does make more sense to me now. Buck tried to initiate a meaningful conversation in that scene. He tried to make an emotional connection and Tommy turned that attempt into a daddy sex joke. Oliver's comments about Buck viewing their relationship through 'rose colored glasses' and the deleted scene establishing that Tommy, rightfully so, is allowing Buck to set the pace of things within their relationship is very interesting. We know that we are now 3 plus months into their relationship and with the added context of Oliver's interviews and the deleted scene that would indicate Buck is the one who is actually avoiding the deeper conversations. I think part of Buck realized during that dinner that they weren't a compatible match. But he desperately wants to make a relationship work, especially if he currently believes the thing he kept getting wrong was the gender and not the actual relationships. So as a result Buck decided to avoid dealing with things that reinforced their incompatibility and has chosen to keep things surface level deep because he knows the physical aspect is what he can offer and do well. Having the current storyline push him to the point where he will no longer be able to avoid talking about and dealing with those issues is a very interesting way to handle Buck's part of the bigger storyline. They have to get Buck to a place where he can acknowledge he has more to offer someone than sex. So I'm really curious to see how that part goes over the coming episodes. I got off track there, anon. But the reality is the show and Oliver didn't play you at all. You all chose to play yourselves by refusing to acknowledge things that were not being hidden from you. The show has been very clear and obvious with what they are doing with Tommy. Stop trying to pretend their intentions away because they don't fit your headcanons.

Thank you Nonny!

Okay, I'm just going to post this without any of my own comments, because I feel this really summarises the whole T and BT discourse. I try to always post about the show and the fictional characters and leave fandom out of it, but in this case it can't be avoided because fandom is a part of the problem.

Ali talks about 'show importance' and 'fandom importance' and that's so relevant right now.

Please remember, this doesn't come from a place of hatred, but rather a place of 'logical thinking' and 'understanding' what the show is telling us. What story they are really showing and how fandom perceptions can sometimes be deceiving.

It's a damn good read.

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

#anonymous blog I love #fandom discourse #T speculation #BT speculation #911 speculation #nonnies galore

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allwaswell16 · 3 months ago

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A One Direction fic rec of fics that skip over portions of time and that take place over the course of years as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

📆 Hold You Now by solvetheminourdreams / @cursethedaylight

(M, 131k, ex-fwb) When he accompanies his best friend to a family wedding across the Atlantic, he'll be forced to reopen old wounds and face his past—one that no one wants to hash out, but may just have to.

📆 Strawberries & Cigarettes by dimpled_halo / @comebackassholes

(E, 76k, omegaverse) Two stories, eleven years, and the two boys that never stopped loving each other.

📆 7 Up by @cherrystreet

(E, 51k, friends to lovers) we follow the lives of Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson in an interview setting every seven years. They fall apart and come together, their lives and emotions recorded

📆 when we were younger by luinlote

(E, 53k, canon) In where you get to see small glimpses of Harry and Louis' life together through the years, first through the eyes of others and eventually their own, as their life keeps spinning madly around them.

📆 Dear Devoted Delicate by therogueskimo / @bravetemptation

(M, 47k, canon) A collection of moments in time that show just how worth it love is when it’s real.

📆 the love it takes, it's worth it all this time by hemakeshimstrongx / @hemakeshimstrong

(T, 46k, canon) a timestamp fic between 2010 and 2022, told using snippets of harry's house. the album imagined from bottom to top, the moments little flashbacks in film reels. it's about love, and it's about keeping that love alive despite surmounting challenges.

📆 yeah, he's a looker (but i really think it's guts that matter most) by devilinmybrain / @thedevilinmybrain

(E, 40k, Oli pov) Five times Oli was asked to do something that was outside of his job description, and the one time he didn't have to be asked.

📆 Love is the Right Place by Chelsea Frew / @chelsea-frew

(T, 33k, friends to lovers) Over the years, friendship turns to more. Just as their romance blossoms, however, Louis gets an offer which promises fame and fortune far from home.

📆 When You Know, You Know by @mission2feelike

(M, 27k, omegaverse) Louis and Harry have been friends for years, their friendship maturing easily from pups to teenagers to adults.

📆 Anonymous Said by @alivingfire

(T, 21k, bookshop) two boys, two blogs, two years of anonymous messages, and a bookshop where it all comes together.

📆 Love in slow motion by sloganeer

(E, 17k, Posh & Becks au) A series of glimpses into the life of Harry Styles, pop star turned fashion designer; his husband, Louis Tomlinson, football legend; and their four adorable children.

📆 I Wanna Feel (Your Love) by @infinitelymint

(E, 15k, canon) Five moments in Louis and Harry’s life based on five of the biggest emotions: fear, sadness, love, anger and joy.

📆 Go Out for Adventure, Come Home for Love by myownspark / @myownsparknow

(M, 9k, 5 times) Four years of iconic moments that inspire tattoos and promises.

📆 Here We Come A-Wassailing by @lululawrence

(NR, 8k, Christmas) The year Louis was in the 8th grade, his mom decided to gather the families of their closest friends to go caroling.

📆 Flowers of Tomorrow, Seeds of Today by @haztobegood

(G, 7k, fae/fairies) Louis is a changeling and Harry is a human and their fates are more connected than they know.

📆 Like A Neon Sign by @reminiscingintherain

(T, 7k, canon) Harry had always been perfect to Louis, through every age, through every stage, and in all the important ways, he was proud to have been able to witness the growth that Harry had experienced first-hand.

📆 Though the Seasons Change So Quickly (Keep Them Buried In My Heart) by LiveLaughLoveLarry / @loveislarryislove

(G, 6k, canon) A series of moments of Harry and Louis' relationship through the years, from the very beginning to the present, through the perspective of those around them. It's beautiful and it's brutal, it's awe-inspiring and it's awful - it is what it is.

📆 Dear Louis by callmenine

(E, 5k, famous/not famous) The one where Harry is a popstar having an existential crises and writes a song for his high school ex-boyfriend Louis after more than ten years of no contact.

- Rare Pairs -

📆 in darkness i follow you by @leighbot

(E, 6k, Zayn/Louis) four glimpses into Louis and Zayn's relationship through the years. With bonus side!Narry.

📆 like air to me by yeah_alright / @uhoh-but-yeah-alright

(M, 5k, Zayn/Louis) Five times Louis’ smoke break brings back memories of Zayn and one time it brings him back to Zayn’s doorstep.

#weekly recs #hlcreators #1dsquad #1dficvillage #hljournal #hltracks #ficrec

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verdantcreek · 2 months ago

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thinking about the reboot mw games collectively and it’s so sadly unfortunate because like. when put up against the other two, mwiii fails so visibly.

first of all you’ve got their thesis/emotional core, right. for mw19, it’s all about the personal motivation of being a solider, the cost of war on an individual. what it means to fight and discovering the importance of what you’re fighting for. for mwii, it’s about trust. the importance of knowing that your team has each others backs, the weight that it has between individuals. what happens when that trust is broken and how it’s found again through vulnerability, because that’s how you truly know you’re there for each other.

and then there’s mwiii..? you should let your sergeant kill a prisoner illegally so said prisoner, when he breaks out of maximum security prison, doesn’t kill your sergeant 4 years later? you should illegally kill people who piss you off (shepherd)? sure there’s the whole “never bury your enemies alive”, but where does that come in to play outside of the soap/makarov interaction? it’s definitely not a valid reason for price to kill an american general in his own office. they could’ve used it for graves if they wanted to take it a step further, but no— graves doesn’t betray the team again, for whatever reason. we’re expected to consider him just a much a member of the team as anyone else, and the narrative treats him as such outside of a few bristly reactions to his involvement.

secondly i take a huge issue with how characters were handled in mwiii. literally everyone is here, and there is no reason for several of them to be. alex felt like a cameo— you see him actually on screen for maybe 30 seconds. farah’s missions feel forced for the sake of her involvement. not that farah shouldn’t be in this game, but makarov’s flimsy reasoning for targeting the ulf is so clearly an excuse to involve her. it feels very random and transparent as a decision to reuse her character because she’s familiar. again with graves— why is he here? i still genuinely do not understand why they decided to retcon his death. it was a perfect arc for mwii to kill him, and him being alive adds absolutely nothing to the story. he has nothing to do in mwiii and there is zero reason for his involvement other than “people liked him in mwii and he has a cool accent.”

within the 141, it’s mostly rehashing of the growth/personality that each of them showed in previous games. none of them have an arc, except maybe price if you’re willing to call the *post credit scene* where he commits cold blooded murder a completion of an arc. gaz, soap, and ghost are static versions of themselves that simply are just … there for most of the plot. they’re not out of character or ruined, but none of them individually have anything going on that can’t be tied back to price.

i think a lot of it comes down to the way they tried to shoehorn mwiii into the original trilogy’s storyline. people loved those games, and nostalgia sells. i don’t think it’s a coincidence that makarov was a big marketing factor for this game— and that’s not to say that mw19 or mwii didn’t abuse that either, but in execution you can feel the difference. price, gaz, soap and ghost are all their own characters miles away from their original trilogy counterparts. makarov… isn’t. he’s a poorly written villain riding on the success of the original trilogy— he’s scary because he’s *makarov*, not because he’s a real threat. it’s cheap. the knockoff “no russian” mission felt insulting. it’s a callback with no real impact in the story, just simply “look! remember when we did this in 2009 and everyone loved it?”

and all of it culminates into a shit ending with shock factor that it tries to make you feel emotional. i’m not sad over this character death. i’m mad, because it’s unearned and lazy. i realize it’s a lot to ask a multi-billion dollar corporation to actually put effort into their stories, but… it’s such a let down when the previous games actually had at least an ounce of passion. i’m just still so disappointed with this game ruining what could’ve been a really interesting and unique story.

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ihaveforgortoomany · 1 month ago

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(Fic Idea) Exploring the post-Vienna dynamic between Marcus, Kakania and Isolde with possible reconciliation.

(Marcus does appear in very few fics)

Fun prompt one: Kakania has made it very clear in her anecdote, suitcase lines and wilderness lines she will not meet with Isolde until she is able to help her. However in joining the TK team she is often seen finding different ways to evade Isolde, and hey jumping out of married women's windows does pay off alot. Until it doesn't.

Kakania maybe is enjoying tea with Druvis and Lorelei (or really anyone other than Semmelweis and Isolde) until she hears Isolde approaching. So as any sane person would do Kakania promptly leaves via window, just as Isolde sees her exit. This time however is different, Isolde is wearing the new Jazz style outfit from 2.1 (read my other posts on that outfit and why I like the idea of the garment showing her growth) - and unlike her previous two outfits this one allows for more flexibility in movement.

Isolde is also very experienced in emulating and imitating others, as part of her channeling skill. Plus the fact that she has probably seen Kakania escape from windows before (how in a narrow skirt like Kakania's I will never know) means she probably has an idea how to do it. So Isolde also proceeds to jump near perfectly out of the same window to pursue Kakania, much to her shock and horror at realising she really cannot escape Isolde.

Maybe they could finally reconcile here, or at the very least find a way to live again in each others presence.

Prompt Two: Marcus above everyone has all the reason to avoid Isolde, shes the one who killed Greta Hoffman, even if unintentionally Isolde is still the one to end Hoffman's life. Marcus never figured that Isolde would seek her out in any way so why worry one today she will actually speak to her? She thought of this until the very moment Isolde approached her suddenly one today.

Upon returning to the Foundation after 1.9, Marcus was also given Greta's office, and realised she had collected all the editions of the Flannel Isles, from the first to the last one which they had worked together on.

Why would Isolde approach her? Well somehow Isolde was able to find a copy of the Flannan Isles editions in the Foundation's library, read it and tracked down the potential author of them. Why would Isolde take such interest? I would say the detail on the three ghosts that reside in the lighthouse intrigued her enough to seek the author.

This is how I would frame Marcus and Isolde starting to interact despite everything. Marcus being an overanalysed and someone able to discern details in art probably could find common ground with Isolde, who's a perfectionist. They could discuss the nature of ghosts as the both of them have first hand experience (one more pleasant than the other). Discuss art and culture, pointing out finer details and such. Having a connection outside of Kakania would be a good thing for Isolde.

#reverse 1999 #ramblings #r1999 #forgor remembered #forgor ideas #kakania #isolde #marcus reverse 1999 #hoping to give ppl fic ideas to write fics

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angstintensifer · 6 days ago

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Darius & Kenji’s friendship and Brotherhood over the years, an analysis.

Kenji and Darius have one of best dynamics of the entire Jurassic franchise, their brotherhood is heart-warming, sweet, funny and sometimes painful to watch in the tv shows they're featured in. Today I will be breaking down their story of going from strangers to brothers.

Season one of jwcc: In s1 of jwcc, they start on rough patch, being polar opposites who don't get along much. Kenji catches Darius sneaking out one night and follows him, chaos ensues, they go to the raptor pen with Brooklynn and almost get attacked. They end up trouble. Darius first hears of Kenji's not so great father and takes the fall for Kenji.

They get a shared punishment, which only leads to more sneaking off and the first time Kenji saves Darius's life and the two find common ground to become friends.

For the rest of the season Kenji stops calling Darius "Kid" and sees him as a real friend, he follows Darius's lead and sometimes finds time to tease him.

At the end of the season, Kenji encourages Darius that he is a good leader and that they will stick together to survive.

Season two of jwcc

Season two follows the campers surviving and living alone on the island, Darius remains as leader and the friendship between them all grows.

Kenji continues to tease and have fun with Darius despite their situation, it may seem childish on the outside but Darius knows its Kenji's way of showing he cares by trying to cheer his friends up.

When Darius and Kenji go alone to fix the water problem in ep3 they discover the watering hole, Kenji sees the majesty in the dinosaurs Darius always sees and Darius starts his field journal.

Kenji doesn't get dinos the way Darius does but when he sees how much Darius talks about them, he encourages Darius to write his own book about them. Because he believes in him.

The rest of the season, Darius and Kenji are pretty split up due to the plot but have some moments in between, their friendship is strong at this point.

Jurassic World Camp Cretaceous hidden adventure takes place between s2 and s3 of jwcc and there are some great moments between Darius and Kenji

During the roller coaster ride, the Tarbo finds the campers and Darius realizes he still has the scent of her nest on him.

There’s a choice between abandoning the coaster to climb away or stay to jump out and wash off the smell.

If you choose for Darius to stay, Kenji will too and declares to not let Darius do it alone.

Season three of jwcc

The campers have been stranded a very long time and when trying to find a way out, they find a boat. Captain Kenji is born and so is the prank war between Kenji, Darius and Brooklynn. It's a sweet side plot in the beginning episodes that makes Darius and Kenji more like brothers.

During the penthouse episode, Kenji is overjoyed to show his friends a good time. And his growth is shown when he smashes his dad's expensive statue to save his friends.

The day is slightly tainted by the attack but at the end of it, Darius tells Kenji something he deserved to hear, that he's more than his wealth.

The season delivers more light brotherly teasing between the boys and then Kenji and Darius hit a slight rough patch when the Scorpius rex is revealed.

Darius is angry at Kenji for not doing what he asked, he can't stay angry for long and Kenji is trying his best. The season ends with them having another fall out, Kenji being angry at Darius for risking Brooklynn's life. Darius isn't completely at fault, he was following Brooklynn's orders.

Season four of jwcc

S4 is my least fav but it has some good Kenji and Darius moments

Ep1 has Darius and Kenji at each other's throats for what happened at the end of s3.

Brooklynn makes a good point here by saying Kenji is angry at Darius specifically because he will be Kenji's hardest goodbye, it hurts to get close to someone and then suddenly say goodbye to them.

But when Darius is in danger, Kenji doesn't waste a second saving his life, because at the end of the day no matter how angry he is, Kenji will always be there for him.

The rest of the season doesn't show much of their dynamic until the last episode, Kenji wants to apologize for his attitude at the beginning of the season and Darius is the first person Kenji wants to tell about his relationship with Brooklynn.

Darius is nothing but happy for them. They go against dilos together <3

The season ends on a cliff hanger with the campers and Kenji finding out Daniel Kon, Kenji's father is Kash's boss.

Season five of jwcc

Kenji learns who is his real family in s5. He's reunited with his Dad, who takes the kids in and away from Kash.

With Kenji reuniting with his dad, he wants to prove he's grown and Darius assures him he has grown from the cocky rich kid he used to be when they met.

Darius and the rest of the campers all don't trust Daniel, but Kenji does as he wants to believe the best in his father.

The team convinces Daniel not to do dino fights by showing Big Eatie reunite with her daughter, Kenji makes a comment about how cool it is that Darius can talk to a T rex.

Daniel's mind is changed. Here's where things go wrong, when Daniel continues to prioritise his business over sending six traumatized kids home.

The campers sneak out and find out what's going on and Kenji feels let down. His Dad hypes Kenji up in way he never did before and it makes Kenji feel wanted.

Because of his, Kenji betrays his friends when they try to stop Daniel's presentation by ruining their control chips used on dinos.

Daniel locks up the kids and Kenji doesn't stop him.

Darius's first response to this is to bury his feelings while everyone else vocally deals with their own.

Darius is betrayed but since it hurts too much, he'd rather focus on something he likes, ie the dinos.

It takes some time but when Darius does deal with his feelings surrounding Kenji, he's hurt.

Kenji is his friend and he feels he can't trust him again, even if he wants to someday.

Kenji follows his dad to Nublar and the first person Kenji thinks about in the penthouse is Darius.

During Kenji's time on Nublar with his father, he sees his father's true colours.

He treats Kenji like nothing more than a business partner, making him work and only complimenting him when he does something that benefits the business.

Kenji is conflicted and knows there is something wrong with the way he's been treated but doesn't want to believe it.

Kenji was treated well and loved for months by his friends and now he sees how badly he was treated by his father after knowing what love and care is supposed to feel like but he's still just a kid so it takes him some time to come to terms with that.

In one episode, Mae tells Kenji that he shouldn't have to earn his father's love with business deals or making him money.

This resembles what Darius told Kenji in s3, that Kenji didn't need to impress his friends, they already love him, because they know him.

They know he's loyal, funny, cool and brave. They love him for who he is and not because of what they do for him or how rich he is.

When Kenji and his dad return, Kenji is done with his father, he wants to make things right with the campers.

Darius doesn't forgive him right away. He's rightfully angry and isn't ready for forgiveness but lets Kenji help the fam anyway.

When fighting Daniel's men, Darius lets out his true feelings to Kenji and Kenji. Kenji used to always have Darius's back until his dad came back and Darius isn't ready to let that go yet. They still work together during this and Darius sees Kenji fighting by his side and Kenji promises to never abandon him ever again. They make up, Kenji who probably only got one hug from his dad clings to Darius because they both clearly needed it.

At the end, Kenji declares to his dad that the campers are his real family and his dad leaves without him. But Kenji knows the campers won't do that to him.

When returning to the mainland, Kenji watches his friends reunite with their families, happy for them and sad that he can't do it himself.

But then Darius waves at him and introduces him to his mother and Kenji is welcomed into their family.

Jwcc to jwct

Kenji is taken in by the Bowmans, he has two brothers, Darius and Brand.

The camp fam has weekly check ins and all is well.

Dinos come to the mainland.

Darius gets a job at the DPW

Kenji starts rock climbing in Colorado.

Kenji breaks up with Brooklynn.

Brooklynn stays with Darius

Darius realizes his feelings for Brooklynn

Brooklynn is killed

Jwct s1

Darius and Kenji in are the roughest patch of their friendship. Kenji is angry at Darius not being there for Brooklynn.

Brooklynn is gone and both brothers don't have each other to lean on during their grief.

Darius isolates himself in his grief and wants to hunt down the allosaurus.

Kenji is not speaking to Darius at all.

They are forced together when warning the group that they are being hunted. Ben and Sammy leave the brothers alone to talk to Daniel Kon.

Darius tries his best to be there for Kenji, but it's hard. Kenji isn't ready to forgive and wants to focus on what needs to be done.

Kenji also knows Darius is having trouble talking to his mother as Kenji still calls her.

They visit his Dad. Daniel Kon has no changed and is still using Kenji for business.

Aggravated by his father, Kenji vents to Darius and asks him for advice, Darius honestly tells him that Kenji shouldn't have to sacrifice the great man he's becoming for a man whose never treated him right.

Kenji believes him but agrees for the sake of finding out what happened to Brooklynn.

Then Daniel has the fucking audacity to say to Kenji "I know how you like things easy."

And Kenji, with his brother by his side declines his fathers offer and decides he still doesn't need him, they will find out what happened to Brooklynn without him. Kenji turns to leave and Darius is right there with him.

Daniel does change his mind and tells them anyway, but the good doesn't last long as Micro bangs shows up and Daniel Kon is no more <3

Kenji is traumatized and when having a breakdown, Darius is there for him. If anyone would understand what Kenji is going through, it's Darius.

This is a breaking point in the brothers relationship during the story.

Kenji discovers there is more to Darius's feelings for Brooklynn, he knows Brooklynn's phone password and is familiar with Brooklynn's old habits like leaving shoes in the middle of the floor.

When going to a drop point, it's almost like they're on good terms. Kenji's distasteful attitude for Darius has dropped and Kenji is making jokes again.

The tension is still between them, so they have nothing else to talk about except the mystery surrounding Brooklynn.

They snoop on her phone and Darius tries to hide the voicemails he left for Brooklynn.

After a fight, he gives in and shows them to Kenji. And confesses his truth to him.

Kenji is surprised and wants to know if the feelings were reciprocated, but Darius finds an unsent message from Brooklynn to him. They find a video of Brooklynn running from the allo.

Kenji now asks Darius as his brother, where he was when Brooklynn needed him. Now knowing Darius was in love with her.

The answer is on hold because of plot xx

But as the season continues, Kenji continues to make more jokes and the brothers are teasing each other again.

The brothers reunite with the camp fam and Bumpy, when it looks like Bumpy might die, Kenji puts his hand on Darius's shoulder, he's leaning on him.

After all the chaos, Darius tells Kenji the entire truth and the rift has become smaller.

The season ends with all of the camp fam on a boat

Jwct s2

Kenji and Darius don't get too much one and one screen time. But the events of the previous season are affecting Kenji a lot.

He's grieving his father and not in a healthy way. He's impulsive and risking his life.

He sets a goal, caring about Bumpy's egg. Darius even witnesses him using baby talk on the egg.

As the season goes on, Darius struggles to talk to Kenji about his issues and because of the rift between them, it makes it hard.

Darius is still getting used to having his brother back and is afraid of doing something that will cause Kenji more pain than he's already in.

But when Kenji dislocates his shoulder after being risky and impulsive again, Darius has to figure out what's wrong.

He does try and Kenji is almost tempted to talk about his feelings and current mental state but he shuts it down.

And as Paul Mikel Williams has said in an interview once, Kenji and Darius never have enough time to fully repair their relationship as they are always on the go and always busy with something.

The rest of the season shows very little of Kenji and Darius's dynamic, they both discover Brooklynn is alive and we have yet to see them interaction since that discovery.

I am so curious to see how this will effect their relationship going forward. I really hope they do make up for good and don't fall apart again.

Their brotherhood is one my favourite parts of both tv shows and it crushed me to see them drift apart in chaos theory especially after everything they went through in jwcc

#jurassic world chaos theory #jurassic world camp cretaceous #darius bowman #kenji kon #daniel kon

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