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lovscb97 · 2 days ago

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synopsis: nerd!chan headcannons. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

tags: nerd!chan x cheerleader!fem!reader, fluff, meet cute, nerd!chan being in love, mentions of alcohol and drinking, kissing, nerd!chan being an inexperienced cutie, etc

wc: 1.48k

add. notes: while you guys wait for nerd!chan pt. 2 as i need to complete writing it and cannot really Do that w/ my current busy schedule (im nearing the end of first sem so i have lots of assignments #sad), i thought i’d treat u guys to some headcannons about him in the nerd!chan universe :3 enjoy!

pt. 1 / pt. 2 (coming soon!)

. . .

#one. meeting you for the first time

chan has always been a shy kid. he doesn’t stray from his introverted bubble of close friends that he’s either grown up with or gotten to know through extra-curriculars, nor does he ever participate in social activities like parties the way most people in his university do. it’s his firm belief that he has no means to engage in stuff that will, in his words, lower his intelligence and distract him from his studies. he’s perfectly content remaining the way he is; a social outcast (according to changbin at least), because at the least in that sense he’s gaining something from not wallowing in alcohol every other night.

you, on the other hand, are actively always taking part in gatherings as such, having fun with your cheer girls and drinking to drown out the bitter reality of life (although you’d never admit that out loud). it’s your firm belief that college is for letting loose and having fun before entering the corporate world, and what better way to do that than to grind against strangers and throw away all your responsibilities for a night (or ten)? you don’t have too much regard for your studies, but you do have a strong policy on your social life.

it’s because of these reasons that in terms of both hierarchy and hobbies, you and chan couldn’t be any more different. you’re two sides of two separate coins, and if you were to swap lifestyles, you’re sure neither of your friends would recognise you both. what he likes, you loathe, and what you like, he loathes. so why did you do mesh so well? why did you two even begin this charade?

and how in the everloving fuck did chan even get to know you in the first place?

it all started before the first day of the first semester. orientation was about to finish right around the corner, and everyone was obviously buzzing with excitement on commencing their first term in university. one guy made the mistake of mentioning throwing a party at some nearby club, and it quickly spread to the entire group of first year students. naturally, it spread to you and your friend group, and it also just happened to spread to the small circle of chan’s best friends, who dragged his ass to the party the day of despite his incessant complaining that he wanted nothing to do with what was happening.

that was, until he saw you.

you’d had one too many shots to drink, stumbling into the balcony after having been separated from your friends and coincidentally landing up where chan just so happened to be admiring the scenery. he’d caught you in his arms as you lost your footing, heart racing and ears reddening at the sound of your drunk giggles. “i bet you’re a ladies man.” you’d teased him, raising a finger to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, which only made him stutter even more.

your friends eventually did come to find you and take you back with them, barely even batting an eye at chan who tried to make sure you were being cared for properly as his pleas and tips on handling a hangover the next day fell upon deaf ears. and when jisung and changbin came up to find him, he was completely out of it, stuck in a daze as he repeated all the random information about yourself that you’d rambled to him in his head. he’d pressed a single hand to his chest whilst ignoring his friend’s questions about what the hell he was doing, instead focusing on the feeling the rapid rhythmic beating of his heart under his palm.

it was that night, that chan's love for the moon transcended to his love for you.

#two. kissing you for the first time

chan is just as much of a nerd as they come in every cliche.

when he met you, when he got to know you, and when he first began whatever twisted relationship he currently has with you, he was completely inexperienced. he knew next to nothing about pleasing a girl that wasn’t acquired from his knowledge of scouring the internet, and he also knew next to nothing about the world of pleasure he was in for. when you’d first leaned in to initiate a kiss, he’d merely pushed you away gently, gasping over his words as he tried to explain to you how new this was all to him.

but you didn’t mind. you didn’t mind that he’d never even gotten close to holding a girl’s hand unless he counted his elementary school crush, and you didn’t mind that he barely knew what to do with you. you didn’t mind that you had to teach him the ropes of everything (mostly because it fed into your corruption kink), and you didn’t mind it even when you had to reassure him you weren’t going to judge him as you got him to relax before leaning in once more.

and when your lips had touched his for the first time, chan swore he felt sparks fly. you were soft, and sweet, and real. instead of being a mere figment of his imagination or the skin of the back of his hand, your presence was electrifying. the way your mouth had moved against his, the way you’d let out a soft sigh at the feeling of it pressing back into him, and the way you’d pulled away and flashed him the prettiest smile he’d ever damn seen in his life before, it was all so dizzying.

“you’re a pretty good kisser.” you’d winked at him afterwards, and he felt himself flush under your gaze which only made you double over in laughter. you’d even leaned in once more to plant another soft kiss on his lips before motioning for him to continue with whatever demand and supply topic he was teaching you about. chan didn’t give a fuck about that anymore though, the only thought on his mind the entirety of the rest of your study session how to get better at kissing you, and when he could look forward to doing it the next time.

#three. what he likes about you

if anyone asked chan what he likes about you, he’d be at a complete loss for words. not because there’s nothing he can come up with beyond superficial reasons, but because there’s too much that he has to say and isn’t sure of where to actually start.

chan isn’t even sure when he fell for you in the first place. yes, when he first met you that fated night on the balcony at that premature freshmen party he caught feelings for you, but those feelings snowballed and grew into something much larger as the days went on. each night was filled with replaying your conversation (although he barely spoke out of his shock upon seeing you) and wondering what it would be like to be in your presence once more. it got to the point that his friends began asking him why he was spacing out so much during classes and staring at one specific section of the lecture hall, but he didn’t have the courage to admit it was because of you sitting there.

to simply put it, chan likes everything and nothing about you. he likes the fact that you’re nobody like he’s ever met before, you have a fire to yourself that nobody comes close to claiming, but you laugh sweet enough to extinguish that flame at the same time. something about you draws him in, tantalising and captivating in nature but all too consuming to the point he can’t get you out of his brain no matter how hard he tries. the time you came up to him to ask if he’d help you with tutoring, his mind almost short circuited because holy shit, were you actually talking to him in real life instead of the made up interactions he plays out with you before going to sleep? and you knew his name and who he was on top of that? it was too good of a dream to be true.

that’s precisely why chan can’t let go of you now. even if it hurts him, even if it’s painstakingly hard to be hidden from the public eye whilst being together with you, he doesn’t want to let go of you. because letting go of you entails that he’s giving up on his aspirations of being with you, and chan is nothing next to a quitter. he’ll have you in any way he can, even if that means not abiding by his friends’ requests to just let you go and being kept in the dark by your lack of confrontation for your feelings.

at the end of the day, chan is head over heels for you, and that’s something that’ll never change.

. . .

comments and reblogs are always appreciated! <3

#✰ sunny's headcannons!#bangchan x reader #skz x reader #stray kids x you #bangchan x you #nerd!chan #stray kids headcannons #bangchan headcannons #skz bangchan

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tellyouily · 2 days ago

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you can hear it in the silence

dnf - tooth-rotting fluff - 886 words

aka. the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed :)

• • •

Lately, they’ve taken to sleeping in George’s room.

Which makes no sense, really, considering Dream’s bed is bigger, softer and the room itself closer to the main part of the house. Not to mention that his AC actually works like it’s supposed to and his curtains actually close all the way.

All of this, and they have still ended up under George’s covers every night for the last couple of weeks.

Like with most things these days, they can blame it on work.

George’s office is where most of the coding happens, because he is the one doing most of the coding, and it is conveniently located right next to his bedroom. So when Dream comes in at night, so tired he could fall asleep standing up, to pull George with him to bed, then well, it’s whatever bed is closest.

Not that Dream minds. He likes George’s room, even if it’s bare and boring. He also likes George, and sleeping next to him, and maybe those two facts outweigh everything else. Just maybe.

George who is all soft limbs and no sharp edges, and smells like home and is somehow always warmer than Dream is.

The truth is that he is the only person Dream can share a bed with and actually sleep better because of it. Whose breathing and tossing and turning lulls him to sleep rather than annoy him.

So yeah, Dream is fine with anywhere, any bed, so long as it’s the two of them in it together.

It is an early morning in the third week that the room thing becomes an issue.

The sound of birds chirping is usually pleasant… except when it’s the sound that wakes you up. Before sunrise. Slowly, Dream gets pulled from the comfortable depths of sleep, his face buried halfway in George’s hair.

Some quick deduction tells him that the birds are most likely sitting in the tree right outside of the window, and that there is nothing he can do to fix it. Great.

George stirs in his arms. “Can they shut up?” He mumbles.

A smile makes its way onto Dream’s lips, despite his weariness.

“No,” he answers helpfully.

Somehow, each little tweet seems to be getting louder, more incessant, and Dream knows they need to move to a different room. They have slept a handful of hours at most.

“My room?” He offers, pressing a kiss to George’s shoulder. “Should be more quiet.”

George groans, rolling over and burrowing his face in the crook of Dream’s neck. It makes his skin buzz gently when George says, “Too far.”

It’s really not far at all but he decides not to go down that road now. They can talk technicalities about the distances in this house when the day starts for real, not when the need for sleep is weighing so heavily on them both. On George especially, apparently.

Dream noses at his hair. “My office then. It’s closer.”

No response, but he feels George’s hand slide up his chest over his t-shirt.

“Come on, baby,” Dream coaxes, taking the hand and lifting it off of him as he starts to sit up.

George groans, but starts to do the same. At about half the pace. Dream smiles at him fondly.

You would think he was being forced to do the most laborious task on planet earth with how much effort it seems to take him to move from lying down in the comfy bed to standing upright on the floor. Dream can’t really blame him, though; it felt a little bit like being ripped from a nice dream for him, too.

“Alright, I love you, let’s go,” he says, heading for the door and pulling George along behind him by the hand. He looks tousled in the best way, all sleepy and annoyed.

The hallway and the stairs are mostly dark, still. The light is that weird shade of grayish blue, and he wonders fleetingly if George sees it the same way.

Downstairs, George lets out a small scoff. “Why’d you say I love you?” He asks, rubbing at his eye with his free hand. “So dumb.”

Dream smiles, pushing at his office door. “‘Cause I love you.”

George scoffs again, but he doesn’t say anything else, which says enough in itself. Inside, it’s pitch black, and quiet. Completely quiet.

He lets go of George’s hand and puts a hand on his back instead, guiding him onto the bed before climbing in after him. He has never been more grateful that he keeps this bed fully made.

They settle down in the exact same position from before, with Dream closest to the wall and George in his arms, pressed as close as he can get. For a few moments it’s just their breathing and their heartbeats slowing in the silence.

“Better?” Dream asks, his voice a murmur.

George hums in agreement. Then, just a softly, “Love you.”

Dream smiles into the darkness, closing his eyes. He listens to George’s breaths evening out, the soft sounds of skin against fabric every time they shift in the sheets they’re sharing. Holding him close like this, just existing in the boyish and familiar smell of his shampoo and day-old aftershave, Dream feels like he is already dreaming.

Sleep washes over him like a ray of sunlight.

#dnf fanfic #dnf fic #tellyouily fics

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shineysposts · 1 day ago

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My Thoughts on the Supposed 'Plot Hole' in Rafayel's Branch

I’ve seen a few people pointing out some "plot holes" in Rafayel’s branch. One of the biggest complaints is: How did MC suddenly know about Rafayel being a Lemurian and their special bond?

(spoiler ahead)

I’ll admit, this surprised me at first too. But after taking some time to process it, I realized that the two-month time skip after MC returns from the N109 Zone isn’t just a random gap—it’s pretty clear that a lot happens off-screen during this period, most likely involving interactions between MC and each of the boys.

We’ve seen a similar approach in Zayne’s branch, where MC already knows about Zayne’s recurring nightmares, even though this was never explicitly mentioned in the main story. The reason people don’t focus on this as a plot hole is because it’s easy to assume that Zayne and MC discussed it during the two-month gap, given their established friendship.

Rafayel’s case feels different, though, because the reveal is a big deal—it’s about his Lemurian heritage and the bond he shares with MC. This is probably why some of us feel like it shouldn’t have been glossed over. However, I think we need to give the devs a little credit and consider that Rafayel and MC likely had important moments during those two months. Here’s why:

Rafayel was the last person MC saw before heading to the N109 Zone. It makes sense that she’d talk to him when she got back.

Even though it’s not explicitly stated that they’ve been talking frequently, MC trusts Rafayel enough to involve him in her mission. This kind of trust doesn’t just happen overnight, it suggests they’ve been growing closer during the time skip.

Another common complaint I’ve seen is that Rafayel’s branch doesn’t mention the beta-protocurve plot, which was a major focus in Zayne’s story. However, Zayne’s branch revolves heavily around his recurring nightmare, so it makes sense that the beta-protocurve would tie into it. Beta-protocurves are unique energy wavelengths emitted by certain Wanderers, capable of distorting space itself. Exploring this in his branch serves the purpose of exploring his backstory.

On the other hand, including the beta-protocurve in Rafayel’s branch wouldn’t have the same impact.

Comparing Rafayel’s branch to Zayne’s and expecting the same kind of focus feels like missing the point. The purpose of the branch isn’t just to explore the beta-protocurve but to dig deeper into what Ever is planning behind the scenes.

As Jenna put it:

“Our mission isn’t just about finding the Aether Cores. We also need to investigate the shady organizations that covet them. These cores are essentially ticking time bombs in the wrong hands.”

The focus isn’t just on the new Wanderer or the Aether Core—it’s about setting up Ever as a major antagonist. Both Zayne’s and Rafayel’s branches serve their own purposes, each contributing to the larger narrative in its own way. In the end, I feel that both branches are doing exactly what they need to do to build up the the future chapters.

#love and deepspace #lnds rafayel #lads #lads rafayel #rafayel love and deepspace

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scribeofmorpheus · 3 hours ago

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Dragon Age Veilguard: Love, Wisdom and Pride

A very long Dragon Age post!

Warnings for: Veilguard Spoilers, Solavellan spoilers.

Okay, so I will preface this by saying that this ‘analysis’ primarily focuses on Solas’ arc; both romanced and unromanced. It isn’t intended to be a romanticised analysis, though it is very much enamoured with how a romanced Solas and his relationship with Lavellan foils (and informs my reading/reception of) that of Solas and Mythal’s relationship in Veilguard. There is a relationship I will address that I feel does parallel Solas and Mythal! Scroll down to “Reading Between the Lines” if you wanna skip my little intro below. Spoilers follow.

Truth be told, I wasn’t ever expecting much in terms of actually getting a sequel to Inquisition. The game dev market went through a tumultuous reshuffle before the remake madness breathed life back into many studios. Bioware game sequels (Mass Effect Andromeda) were underwhelming and not as fleshed out since the EA acquisition. I absolutely believe Bioware would have been shunted had Mass Effect Legendary Edition not been so successful. EA’s reputation was always lacklustre and underhanded, but laying off or losing several head writers attached to Bioware with almost two decades of work under their belts was the biggest red flag. Trevor Morris not being asked to return in exchange for a ‘bigger name’ was also a grave warning that returning to the atmosphere, ambience and world of Thedas that we knew was getting further and further away from a plausible reality. And on top of that, there’s the fact Solas was never intended as a romance interest during early development of Inquisition.

Solavellan seemed doomed!

Despite this, I still held out hope for a sequel, but I feared we’d always be in permanent Solavellan/developmental hell. Heck, I’m still waiting for a Beyond Good and Evil sequel—the game released in 2003! So, actually witnessing people play Veilguard, seeing reactions to it, seeing memes and gifs and essay pieces (like this one), it’s like my community has awoken again, and I never thought I’d see the day. Yet I am not blind to the fact we were robbed of so much potential. I knew thing’s wouldn’t live up to re-emerging expectations when Dragon Age: Dreadwolf was rebranded to Veilguard—the shift seemed to imply less of a primary focus on Solas (and apparently, according to the artbook, the early concept art proves this implication correct).

Things seemed even more dire when the devs revealed there was no tapestry mechanic. I had only one hope: that with the Inquisitor’s confirmed return, we’d get at least some form of catharsis for our Inquisitors (Lavellans and otherwise), if we couldn’t get the conclusions to so many storylines present in each of our worldstates. My main fear was that they’d go the clichéd Ultimate Sacrifice route (which happens anyway, but in a way that makes thematic sense given the stakes and heavily blighted worldstate).

Suffice it to say, there was a lot of evidence that Veilguard would disappoint me in the end. But it hasn’t. It hasn’t lived up to the many expectations and marks of excellence that the Dragon Age world built itself into with the first three entries, that’s for sure, but I am also just so deprived of conclusions, of endings (whether it be because TV doesn’t exist in a sustainable format anymore or that comicbook movies are made with a sequel in mind, never letting anything just “Exit Stage Left” gracefully; or the fact we live in a regurgitating content cycle with late-stage-capitalism where anything remotely profitable gets turned into a caricature of itself: Squid Game, Star Wars, etc.). The cycle is so exhaustive that I am actually at a point where I can say I am content with the ending we were given (on a Solas/Solavellan front), Veilguard gave me relief, and beautiful, achy pain to boot. Though I would absolutely be disappointed by both the "non-romanced Solas" endings, given that Solas winds up either "dying alone, forever" or turns to Tyranny.

Now onto the actual review of that Solavellan ending, Mythal and themes of Love!

Note: I have only gotten the ‘best’ ending in my first playthrough, but I also thought the consequences of not maxing factions would be more… dire? Another note, pls, if your romanced Inky swore to stop Solas, how does that ending differ, if at all? Let me know, I’m dying here!

Sidenote: I’m working on writing another review about my views on the ‘sanitised’ worldstate, the new companions (and why I think Varric was the wrong choice to have as an advisor in the game, given that the Inquisitor or Morrigan would have been more impactful; and not to mention that Cole or Briala should have been companions), removal of the tapestry and what it means for the future of stories in Thedas (The Story We Lost is such a poignant compilation of the sheer volumes of lost lore and depth that I honestly think I won’t go as in-depth on that review as this one), and why I think Veilguard is my final entry into Dragon Age.

Reading Between the Lines: What Pride Hath Wrought

One thing is for sure, Trick Weekes flourishes when writing within the ambiguities and complexities of meaning. This makes every word uttered by Solas so great to dissect, he's a god of lies not because he 'lies' but because he's so careful with how he phrases things, what he holds back, and what he reveals.

For instance, the famous Trespasser exchange where Solas mocks his own follies with sarcasm by saying:

“What is the old Dalish curse? May the Dread Wolf Take you.”

Then a softer, more saddened and beaten-down Lavellan replies:

“And so he did.”

This irks him. Because he then realises in that moment that he absolutely did take advantage, but for some reason he frames it around sex rather than power because that’s easier to address than the latter. And he rejects the notion, even though he brought up the expression he knows to mean nothing close to a sexual inuendo for being ‘taken’, and yet he has the gall to try and derail the conversation by pivoting and saying:

“I would not lay with you under false pretences.”

When I first had this dialogue exchange, I was baffled, because did this mean that there was another meaning to ‘Dread Wolf take you’ that Dalish clans lost through the years, or was it more of a self-deprecating joke Solas had with himself because he, the Dread Wolf, romanced (took) a Dalish Inquisitor (away from her people’s beliefs, histories, past), and he found irony in the saying?

On the surface, “wouldn’t lay with you under false pretences” could simply mean “we didn’t sleep together” or “we did sleep together, but I wasn’t taking advantage as the Dread Wolf, I was simply Solas in your presence”. But I have recently thought of a more… ambiguous reading. Lay could have been used in a milder, more vulnerable way; to mean to be at peace, to be completely vulnerable, as if to sleep. In that sense, the phrasing becomes: “I could not be at peace with you because I was living a half-truth”.

I absolutely think the moment he feels he is truly beyond hope is when we see his expression of abject horror as Lavellan shouts: “I would have had you trust me!”. He realises then that he did fuck up, he did take the choice away from her because he thought he knew better, him and his pride led to a decision that hurt someone close to him, and he could finally see how wrong he was, how alike the entire situation became to Mythal’s treatment of him. Especially if Lavellan asks to go with him. Because he can see that despite the hurt, the lies and the betrayal on his part, Lavellan still wishing to join him draws too close to his first regret: following Mythal.

Whether he likes it or not, Solas’ love which could burn like a bonfire was directed at a powerful woman—a Herald, an Inquisitor—and inspite of her greatness of character, it still shaped her into someone willing to follow him on his dinanshiral out of love, much like he left the Fade and took physical form for Mythal. So now whenever I hear Lavellan shout “Var lath vir suledin”, Solas replying with “I wish it could, Vhenan,” changes drastically with the Mythal reveal, knowing he always walks away from the Inquisitor in Trespasser.

“I wish it could, Vhenan” sounds heavily like: “You would regret me, as I regret Mythal, and I cannot bear for that to happen us.” More poetically, it could read as: “I wish our love could overcome a duty that has lasted an incomprehensible amount of time, I wish I could change my nature, but then I’d be twisted into a demon, like the spirit of Wisdom in the Dales; and yet again, I would become your regret.” These two readings are very, very romantic. Realistically, given what we know of his kinship with Felassan, and how they were comrades and friends for centuries (“A story unfinished. His back turned!”), and given what we know of the complexity of Mythal’s will that presides over the creation of his very being, and yet he was still able to muster the strength to kill a fragment of her to fulfil his mission, “I wish it could” was most probably a lament: “Do not ask me to hurt one of the two women I’ve loved on this journey, because if it ever came to it…” he would.

Knowing what I know of Solas, of how he was able to convince himself that Varric’s death (avoidable as it was) was just another necessary step, that it was just another sacrifice, another loss that would be worth something only if he completed his ritual, I have no doubt that Solas would also be able to rationalise hurting Lavellan (which is why in his mind, turning away from her, breaking her heart, leaving with no explanation and aiding her in Trespasser so she could live whatever few years remained in “relative peace” is actually an act of preserving that love). I partially think the reason he reveals the truth in Trespasser (especially for a romanced Lavellan) is in the hopes his ‘truths’ will push her away. But on a deeper note, I think he also thinks of it as some twisted form of repaying her for loving him to the point that he could have almost forgotten what it was to be the Dread Wolf, to just be with her as Solas, that night at Crestwood. Maybe his harsh truths would push her to the point where she’d give up her love for Solas, now that she knew he was the Dread Wolf, freeing her from the shackles of their love. He’s very self-flagellating, all about self-sacrifice for the ultimate goal, the ends always justify the means, he will endure any pain and punishment as long as Arlathan returns in the end.

What is his love of a mortal compared to the despair and loss of an entire empire? Solas views himself as selfish for falling for her, and that nearly broke him, if he was selfish enough to leave the dream of Arlathan behind for her, what would that do to his spirit then?

In his way of thinking, perhaps telling the Inquisitor the truth is a way out, a rationale they can use to justify stopping him or to make it easier to hate him as the Dread Wolf rather than love him as Solas (someone he hasn’t been in so long).

‘Masking’ as the Dread Wolf

During Trespasser, the Inquisitor has every right to despise Solas after all they’ve learned, and I think he half reveals the truth as a tactic so the Inquisitor can have an excuse to hate him, to be driven to anger and have less pull over his choices, once they learn the truth. Solas is particularly skilled at making other’s play the role that makes his own choices seem inevitable, he orchestrates a lot of events to play out in a manner where it's easier for him to talk himself into bringing down the veil.

He goads Elgar’nan to anger easily. He inspires the spirits to fight for him to the death as a necessary distraction during the war. He absolutely allows the Inquisitor to speak to him one last time so he can offer insight, yes, but also so he can easily frame his actions as just and inevitable. But, Oh boy does he get in for a shock if the Inquisitor shows empathy towards him, it scares him because he’s become accustomed to being seen only as the Dread Wolf. To be understood? That gives way to remorse. And remorse gives way to doubt. And he cannot doubt his purpose, twisted as it is, it is all he has left of his former self. Without it he would most likely change into something different. Someone he doesn’t recognise.

This fear intensifies more so if a romanced Lavellan asks to go with him, and in that case, he takes command and distances himself away (rejecting the help of someone close to him; the chance for a possible betrayal; the chance at another Felassan or Mythal [x]; the chance to twist Lavellan outside of her purpose, in this case, the purpose would be love/empathy) but not without showing remorse at having sacrificed yet another relationship for his crusade.

“Ir abelas.”

Sorrow for what cannot be is at the heart of why the Solavellan romance is so powerful, especially because even though both Solas and Lavellan love each other passionately, love alone cannot be enough when faced with regrets. Love would ultimately be stifled. Corrupted into something else over time. And so, for Solas, having loved and lost tragically is better than having loved and corrupted.

He will not do to Lavellan what was done to him, even if it is her choice, because she knows so little, her naivete cannot close the distance of a millenia’s old sea, and it would hurt him immensely to take advantage of her kind heart [x].

By leaving, he keeps her heart pure. And the yearning! Knowing the love is there, but on its own it cannot be invulnerable to corruption, so it is better to lose it than twist it. Ugh! Him leaving Lavellan is the ultimate show of love! IT IS A WISE DECISION. A rare glimpse into pure wisdom. Which is why he kneels beside Lavellan in Trespasser, he does not “Stand Tall” in the face of Wisdom’s heart. He kneels beside her. And when he stands tall again, he is Solas once more, filled with regret, and once through the eluvian, he returns to masking as the Dread Wolf.

Sidenote: It’s especially confounding that Veilguard allows Rook to push the Inquisitor to save or stop him after you’ve reached act 2 despite your world state choice (I think this was done in case they feared the Inquisitor wouldn’t stand by Solas after everything he was revealed to be responsible for in Veilguard, however it doesn’t work because the Inquisitor wasn’t an advisor, Rook never told them what they learned from the wolf statues, so having a stranger hold the ability to make Lavellan keep her promise or not rings hollow). Personally, I wish the Inquisitor’s presence had more weight in the non-Solavellan endings, too. I wish the Inquisitor could end up being the last friend/former love that Solas destroys (if you don’t collect the wolf statues) which then prompts Rook to fight him because Solas’ last tie to empathy failed to redeem him, that the Inquisitor falling is the last straw and Solas snaps, choosing to be a villain in the hopes of being stopped because he can’t stop himself, and not the ‘I am a God’ ending they gave us. Same for if your Inquisitor vows to stop him. I also wish the Inquisitor was the one to do the wolf statue missions. Would have been a nice secondary protagonist mission like the switching perspectives between Kratos and Atreus in GOW: Ragnarök (the old guard and the new; Inquisitor and Rook). I would have loved if they dedicated more dialogue to Inquisition days too, which is why I think Cole should have been a companion (if he wasn’t recruited, he could simply be a compassion spirit that ‘follows’ the greatest pain in the Fade that yearns to be healed, giving a compassionate viewpoint to Solas’ folly; recruited Spirit Cole could have a greater connection to Solas than even Varric, seeing as Cole was most likely a literal representation of Solas rewriting his own history by preventing a spirit from becoming too ‘real’; Human Cole would have a deeper connection to the world of Thedas, and could have been a great tool to prove how change was inevitable, not always a bad thing, and inevitably out of even Solas’ control. But alas, we live with what we are given! Even Imshael could have served in this role! Spirit/Demon of choice and it wasn’t incorporated into the game that supposedly asks you to make the greatest world-changing choice ever; redeem the Dread Wolf or end the age of the Evanuris entirely?!

Now onto the next segment: I want to talk about Solas’ regrets and how I read the ‘love story’ between Solas and Mythal, and why Lavellan (and what she represented) wasn’t enough to get through to him (and that’s a very believable thing, that’s what makes their love both tragic and epic!).

The High Price of Redemption

A romanced Lavellan has the most agency to see through his guises, if she resolves to save him, but even she cannot undo the shackles that still bind him to Mythal—the binds that twisted Wisdom so far from its purpose it became Pride, even when he burned (Mythal) from his face. (Likewise, A close friend Inquisitor who promises to save him is most likely a parallel to Felassan, again, they cannot undo the shackles of regret either.) I fully believe the vallaslin had a deeper magic than simply marking one as being committed/devoted to an Evanuris, I think it linked them magically, and since Solas was the first to burn the vallaslin away, he probably wasn’t as good at severing the link on himself as he was for other elvhen, so maybe a part of Mythal’s will still lingers in him, twisting him to Pride still.

In Veilguard’s final confrontation, I love the intention of showing how Lavellan approaches Solas slowly, as she doesn’t know who she’ll be faced with up those steps, Dread Wolf or Solas. But when she speaks to him, trying to get him to change his mind yet again, forgiving him for his wrongs, we are reassured that Wisdom hasn’t been completely consumed by Pride despite everything we’ve witnessed in the game because he bows his head at her in reverence as he apologises.

He shows humility towards her. He elevates her and her enduring love as worthy of his respect, be he does not consider himself worthy of hers. Thus, Lavellan pries open the door to acceptance but his heart is still not enough. Which is why love alone cannot turn the tide. He’s too broken to accept it. He doesn’t think he deserves it, so the only way out is through; to continue the ritual, to prove he was right. The shackles persist. Varric’s death weighs on his conscience now more than ever. Possibly members of Rook’s team too if they died on his crusade. But he is vulnerable enough for Morrigan to approach, and now Rook can use Mythal’s essence to make the final push. The only way he could be with Lavellan, the only way he could atone for the past and shed the weight of his armour (his crushing duty to the Elvhenan) is as Wisdom, fully restored, unbound by mistakes.

“Ar lasa mala revas.” He could only find absolution once Mythal (the angered and more brash essence of Mythal, the one unchanged by Flemeth and all the human women’s lives she’s been shaped by, but the closest iteration to that of Mythal in Arlathan, the version that he perceives as having every right to be angry at him for turning his back on her, for not going that last final stretch with her and subsequently, not being by her side when she died) severed the final connection: facing his regrets, showing humility and apologizing, while not taking away the blame but sharing it.

What is Benevolence without Wisdom if not Hubris?

We know Elgar’nan was twisted to Tyranny during the war, and I saw a post somewhere where someone wondered what led to his corruption, and what he was before (leadership/command). Likewise, Mythal was not above corruption.

So far, I’ve seen a lot of takes on Solas’ ties to Mythal, the power dynamic of being a student/disciple enamoured (could be romantic) with the benevolence of Mythal, but not how Mythal’s purpose was possibly also twisted towards hubris the moment she asked Wisdom to turn physical and build weapons from its knowledge, twisting it to Pride. Without Elgar’nan’s tyranny to rally against after the war with the Titans, Mythal would most likely turn a similar route, seeing her ruling as “necessary” for the people: “If not me then who?”. And that is a very short stop and quick drop to “I am your all-powerful ruler, I liberated you, and only I can guide the way”. Benevolence twisted by hubris can easily turn to Tyranny too, only one more subtle, a kind of cultish indoctrination compared to violent subjugation. If Solas had not turned his back on Mythal when she chose to be Evanuris (a god over her people) then they most likely would have made the worst (best) pair in the Evanuris. Pride is the Seventh Deadliest Sin. But imagine Pride next to Godhood?! That is frightening. So, when Solas burns the vallaslin, walks away and works against the Evanuris, I believe that he also inadvertently stops Mythal from becoming a corrupted version of herself. The sorrow at having lost her closest confidant and “love” grounds her, keeps her saintly in Solas’ mind, and in some ways, perhaps saves the Elvhen empire from a worse fate than him erecting the veil to begin with. But neither of them ever consider this. And I think that sort of self-blindness perfectly encapsulates how flawed both Mythal and Solas are. Now onto love.

Solas and Mythal – a Love too complex to simply classify as mortal ‘Love’.

There’s no doubt Mythal and Solas shared a deep bond, one that definitely had love in it, when we hear Mythal calling him ‘love’, without the possessive ‘my’ in front of it, it’s easy to misconstrue what type of love they share. A small nitpick, but like a thorn, it applies sometimes just enough pressure to change a perspective. Not calling Solas “My love” but instead choosing to simply use “love” works within those wonderful ambiguities/complexities that Weekes thrives in.

If one started out as a spirit, it’s safe to say concepts like familial bonds, romantic bonds, and blood ties mean little to nothing. There is no one type of love and there is every kind of love all at once. It is only once physical bodies are introduced, that physical touch, the ability to stab someone in the back, to kiss out of affection, to hug out of empathy, to strike out of anger, that love now becomes this twisted thing too. There are no spirits of love because spirits always possessed love, but there are demons of Desire (Gluttony) and of Rage (love denied).

I believe, from DGL’s acting skills, his soft whisper, his almost submissive smallness in the breadth of Mythal’s already soft voice, that Solas was in love with Mythal, devoted as a student, beguiled by her benevolence, content even in her shadow, and possibly star-struck. He was in love with someone who doesn’t have the possibility to love him back the same, it is not in her nature to love those beneath her in the same intensity that those who look up to her do. It’s like a priest being in love with God. The priest can devote themselves, sacrifice everything, but a God will always love their flock equally, but they can still play favourites.

Benevolence cannot be enamoured with Wisdom because to be truly benevolent they must possess Wisdom but there is also Pride to be had in walking beside benevolence, but they can never be on equal footing. Likewise, Solas’ love is not reciprocated entirely by Mythal, but she does love him back in her own way. While Mythal is definetly Solas’ first love, layered and complex, it is also strangled by regrets and twisted by uneven scales of power. It would never be a nurturing love, only a consuming kind.

When he speaks of Mythal during the Solavellan ending, he calls her his “oldest friend”, much like what Mythal says, (paraphrasing) “would you have me be angry at my oldest companion whose experienced so much with me”. Because friendship is perhaps the easiest way to describe their companionship. They went through many iterations, one certainly holding romantic tensions (specifically from younger Solas), but ultimately, with that much time shared, kinship/friendship becomes the easiest to surmise. You can love your friends, fall in love with them, fall out of love with them, only to love them again, be disappointed in them, etc.

Media today is flushed with romance as a linchpin for driving a hero to make dire choices, and that has warped our perception of how a platonic/non-romance-based relationship can be all-consuming, and sometimes more impassioned than strict romance. But, to make it easier for people to understand Solas’ motivations, it's easier to see their love in the light Taash sees it (an unreliable, somewhat “still juvenile” narrator, in that they are still growing into themselves and their culture and the world): “They were doing it”.

However, Bellara, a companion whose entire companion story is linked to her strong, deeply character-driving relationship with her brother (platonic love) refutes that reading by saying (paraphrasing here): “We don’t know if their ‘love’ is the same type of love we tend to think of in a masculine and feminine relationship.”

Felassan’s letter after the Mythal Dragon fight alludes to Solas having been in love with Mythal, but nothing about how she felt. This is why I consider the Solas/Mythal relationship to be more of a one-sided romantic love, but a requited ‘love’ relationship for them both.

A parallel I find so compelling: Solas and Mythal vs Briala and Celene. Solas and Briala both hold deep emotions for people in great power with the ability to end a tyrannical cycle of subjugation, enslavement and classism, yet for both of these ruler’s charisma and well-meaning intent, they often are swayed to side with tyranny. For Mythal, that was Elgarnan, the Evanuris who made all the other’s worse tyrants; as well as her own hubris for believing her presence alone could dampen the ravenous hunger for power that the rest of the Evanuris held at the small prospect of leading the Elvhen in a time of confusion (being a North Star is hard when all the other lights around you aim to blind the block into submission). For Celene, this is more about the nuances of retaining favour, pull and power over other noble families, their backing (be it financial, political or simply cut-throat), and their support so she can be the ‘lesser of two evils’ compared to Gaspard’s warmongering personality and Floriene simply being a puppet with no backbone. Both Briala and Solas are turned to pawns despite their immense strength and compassion for their respective elven plights; Briala is rendered a fangless lion (for lack of a better metaphor) if she is reunited with Celene, whereas if she is chosen to puppet Gaspard, there’s every likelihood her story could parallel a ‘power mad’ Solas if he’d been tethered to Rage (at betrayal) and not Regret (at having not rejected Mythal when she asked him to take a physical body) throughout his tenure as the Dread Wolf.

Solas and Lavellan – a Heart that was never intended to be Given/Taken

Now I will compare the lack of possessives in front of Mythal’s “love” to Solas declaring Lavellan as ‘Vhenan’ and then ‘Ar lath, ma Vhenan’ vs ‘Ar lath ma vhenan'; again, the coma is the thorn, the pause that shapes the quiet unsaid things we can deduce. In the Trespasser cutscene DGL puts the pause after “Ar lath”, even though the subtitles construct the sentence with Vhenan as a proper noun since it’s a nickname often used by Solas: “Ar lath ma, Vhenan”. But I believe Solas actually says “Ar lath, ma Vhenan”.

With “Ar lath, ma Vhenan” the stressor is after the pause, so the line reads: “I love [you], my heart.” And with “Ar lath ma, Vhenan” it makes even less structural sense but can be inferred to mean: “I love you, Heart”.

The possessiveness of “My” is what definitively differentiates the love Solas feels for Lavellan as one more of the romantic side, it is a love of yearning and desire and a wish to have one last good thing that is pure and incorruptible. The one thing he had left to give. His heart. But that does not mean his heart is enough! The rest of him is still bound to the love of Mythal that was twisted through the ages. That changed him. And given how Pride often comes before a fall, I absolutely understand why Solas is actually very brash and ill-considering when he’s romancing Lavellan (“The kiss was ill-considered”/”It would be kinder in the long run”/”I wanted to show you what you mean to me”). He's on a precarious cliff during Inquisition. His first plan failed. He's allowed ancient elvhen magic to fall into a blighted Tevinter magister's hands. Literally everything the Inquisition did could have been for nought if the Mark had fallen to the wrong person. Things could have easily fallen apart for Solas too, so why not indulge in something trifling and fleeting? Execpt it wasn't trifling. Nor was it fleeting. And when he saw that the fall could potentially not happen, that the Inquisitor could do it, save Thedas and retrieve the orb, he was struck by the gravity of his brashness, of letting impulses control him instead of acting according to a plan. But it was too late. They'd both fallen for each other.

Solas didn’t expect to form entanglements within the Inquisition. He was committed. He was angry at the world, “walking through a sea of tranquil”, called flat-ear by the Dalish that later chased him from their village when he proved he was the Dread Wolf. He was despised by people who looked like him. Spirits were constantly being abused and turned into demons. People erected monuments to heroes who slew demons. Mages were caged. Elves were subjugated. The empire fell. Humans razed the lands with their wars and petty squabbles of succession. The darkspawn tainted the land. The dwarves would never dream. Solas awoke to the worst possible fate; in his eyes, it was all his fault.

So when he kisses Lavellan in the Fade, impulsively, he isn’t kissing her there because it is less ‘real’ than if they kissed while she was awake, it makes it so much more real. He’s kissing her in the space where he is most himself. Where he can shed the body he was forced to build and trap himself within, the body of Pride. He is acting on the impulses of an enlivened Wisdom spirit that does not consider tomorrow, for the first time in a long time. It isn’t a long game with Lavellan, like so much of his life has been about always thinking to the future, always considering the outcome, machinating, scheming, the wiles and woes of every trickster god in mythology. It’s being in the moment with her that is all-consuming. It lowers his guard, leaves him vulnerable, and when she enquires about the Fade or spirits or histories, he gets to be useful as pure Wisdom again.

Lavellan challenging him when he first shows animosity or irritation towards the Dalish (a prideful act), and then him being taken aback when she explains that maybe the Dalish could be shown another way (making him consider her words, being given a morsel of wisdom back, reminding him of his old self), these are all small moments where Solas can begin to see springs of hope in the broken world. And that’s terrifying. It means he’s destroying not just himself, but the memory of Mythal and Arlathan too, all for the love of a woman who fell for an apostate.

The best, most genuine unmasking of Solas for me is during Wicked Hearts, when he’s tipsy on wine, has no inhibitions, and revels in the intrigue, the gossip, the dancing, the music (something we now know is important enough to have an entire music room in the Lighthouse), the sex! He is at his most relaxed, and then he asks Lavellan to dance, not caring about how it would look for the “Inquisitor’s serving man, Solas” to be intimate in a fucking Orlesian palace with the Herald of Andraste, right after stopping an assassination attempt! He finds comfort in the world of Thedas at that moment. Something he rarely shows so outright.

When he takes Lavellan to Crestwood to confess, I believe removing her vallaslin wasn’t entirely just for her, it wasn’t just to free her from slave markings or to simply reveal a form of a truth he wanted to tell her, it was to resolve himself of what his first purpose was supposed to be, what she distracted him from. Removing the vallaslin had been something he’d done for the slaves of Arlathan, it was what earned him the mantle of Dread Wolf. When he removes Lavellan’s vallaslin, he resets.

Thedas cannot allow Wisdom to truly exist without fear of corruption to Pride, Thedas the world he was responsible for shaping, literally the Maker of the Veil, and he falls for a woman Heralded as Andraste’s Chosen One, Mythal’s incarnation in the South. The irony. The cruel, cruel irony. The Inquisition is tied to his past, every Andrastian he meets, every Dalish person with vallaslin on their face, every slave or city elf. Tevinter worshiping the dragons that still have the essences of the Old Gods. His heart alone cannot withstand all of the punishing, gruelling, oppressive weight that is Thedas. Even for Lavellan. So he frames their romance as this tragic, short-lived tale that was beautiful but ultimately destined to end. He expects it to pass for her, she’s mortal after all. But he also leaves his heart with her, literally giving her power over the last uncorrupted part of himself. Think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann at the end of World’s End, but metaphorically. He gives her his heart to safe keep as he goes on a journey that could corrupt a heart, turn it cold and bitter, destroy it.

Ar lasa mala revas. You are free.

He frees his heart.

Lets it go.

Twice!

So only once he is relinquished of his regrets, once Mythal does the same for him, only then is there “Nothing left except their love”. Because Lavellan still held his heart there was still something left after. Something beyond despair and regret and loss. He had given his heart to her to safekeep. And she did. Lavellan returns his heart to him when he is freed. What Mythal had to break so Solas could heal right again (like a bone), Lavellan casts a splint around so it can be set and heal properly. This is the difference between Mythal’s love and Lavellan’s. Both Mythal’s love and forgiveness broke him, but Lavellan’s love gives him the strength to Stand Tall one last time.

Solas, before Pride alone, as Wisdom (perhaps Solas always meant both Standing Tall and Wisdom, for Wisdom can grant one pride to stand tall for what they believe in), finds contentment with the rare and marvellous spirit that endured (his Vhenan). Wisdom endured because of humanity, something benevolence is beyond.

Bellanaris

When Lavellan offers to go with him, to continue on the dinanshiral that she already considers herself a part of, Solas is legitimately taken aback. His expression is soft yet full of disbelief and awe. He actually stops walking a few frames before Lavellan says this, as if hoping Lavellan would say something to him!

And then she basically proposes to him! “Bellanaris!” I absolutely adore the fact that Lavellan promises them eternity. A vow as sacred as a death right, as protected as an ancient, elvhen, undisturbed burial ground in the face of Orlesian colonialisation. They endured and now they will have an eternity. For once, we have an elvish tale that is not a curse, it is a love story with reunion at its core, where both elves reclaim something precious that was denied them.

Lastly, i am absolutely frothing at the mouth that Solas and Lavellan primarily speak in elvish! And even more feral at the fact Solas does not try to talk her out of joining him (because this sweet talker very well could!). He simply tells her where he is going is terrible. And she shuts that shit down immediately. No repeat of Trespasser. She's standing beside him, the South has all but fallen, whatever ties yet survive are strained, and she has fought the good fight for 8 years. I think the Inquisitor was about ready to leave Thedas behind.

The last decisions Solas makes are of his own volition. Entering the Fade for atonement. Stepping into the Fade with Lavellan (It was confirmed by Weekes that Lavellan’s presence in the Fade prison would fundamentally change it in a way we haven’t seen!). Thanking Rook for giving him one last shot at getting happiness. All his own!

This is the look of a man finally reunited with his wife! So much emotion in ONE frame. God! There’s never been a character like him. A love story like theirs! I’m so happy I got to see this ending. Full circle!

P.S. If you read this far, woah nelly! That’s crayyzeee, so here are some more great pieces: Why it was important for Lavellan to kneel for Solas as he knelt for her in Trespasser in the Solavellan ending [x], and here’s a great deep-dive on Solas as a spirit of Wisdom [x].

#dav #dav spoilers #solas #solas x lavellan #solavellan #mythal #datv spoilers #dragon age veilguard #veilguard spoilers #dragon age #dragon age veilguard spoilers #the dread wolf finally took her #his war has ended #their love may endure for eternity

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starhvney · 2 days ago

Note

What are the ethnicities you hc for the aphmau characters?

𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐌𝐀𝐔 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐒

𝐀/𝐍: i love this question ty so much for asking me!! it’s so fun to just freeball it since the characters are literal pixels haha. on top of the ethnicities, i also paired my updated face claims i have for them.

(in advance, i’d like to apologize if i give an ethnicity to a character and the face claim i gave doesn’t really match it? i personally have a hard time associating features with ethnicities, and i pulled the pictures from pinterest so it was hard to confirm all of the face model's origins. i tried my best to do the research.)

anyways, i also included some diaries characters in here as well! i tried to group them all in a way that was coherent so i hope it all makes sense!

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐊 & 𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐋 𝐋𝐘𝐂𝐀𝐍: i really can’t see them as being anything other than native american. i just think it’s a perfect match for them

𝐀𝐀𝐑𝐎𝐍 & 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐀: native american, obviously like their parents.

side note: i did some research and found out that some native american people have short hair and cut it, while others keep it long for tradition and only cut it for grieving purposes. so i think it makes sense to hc them as this—though long hair on all of them would be awesome, too. anyways, please educate me if i’m wrong on this!

𝐙𝐀𝐂𝐊: hispanic, though i haven’t decided on specifics

𝐒𝐘𝐋𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀: hispanic, more specifically latina/mexican

𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐌𝐀𝐔: just like jess, i’ve always viewed her self insert as latina, too.

𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘: i had trouble deciding for both him and travis, but i think i landed on him being french

𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐒: we don’t see his mom in mys, but we see her in mcd and she literally just looks like him. so i’ll say travis is also mostly french and possible mixed with another ethnicity to account for his nice tan

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄: that is a white man. he’s from o’khasis, so i feel like he’s straight up an englishman.

𝐙𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐀: i see her as a small amount of mediterranean, specifically greek, mixed with scandinavian.

𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐇: garroth takes more after garte, though i think he’d have the bits of green in his eyes and tall nose from his mother.

𝐙𝐀𝐍𝐄: zane looks more like his mother, with his dark eyes and pale skin, though he has his fathers eyes and the curse of burning in the sun like a vampire from the english side.

𝐕𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐃: he looks the most like zianna, and the unknown biological father seemed to have been european as well based on his skin?

𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂: scottish (af) (samesies)

𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐙𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐇: british

𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐘𝐍 & 𝐊𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐘: british and scottish. the whole family is paler than a sheet of paper

side note: i wish we saw more of katelyn’s other little brothers :(

𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐃𝐄𝐍: undecided, though i’m leaning towards maybe spaniard and croatian? pretty sure the face model i chose for him is part italian, though.

𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄: he was difficult for me to decide on, because i feel like canonically he kind of presents as just a tan white man, but i like to think of him as a mix of northern italian and romanian!

𝐂𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐙𝐀: i personally view cadenza as being a little mix of scottish or irish, with her pale skin, ginger hair, and big blue eyes, it just makes the most sense to me.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐀: puerto rican mayhapsies?

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄 & 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄: i’m not sure why, but i always thought of dante and gene as being mixed with being hispanic and asian ever since i was younger. in my subj3 fic, i more specifically wrote them to be half puerto rican and half korean!

𝐒𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐀: russian/eastern european

𝐙𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐗: i have a face claim for him, but i haven’t thought of specifics on him yet. i’m leaning towards at least part hispanic, though.

𝐇𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐀: i’m not sure, but definitely european.

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀: since hyria is white, i like to think lucinda is half white and mixed with a little greek and a little indian from her father!

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀 𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐀: based on her name and her character design being clearly based off of japanese culture, i view her as being fully japanese!

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐄 𝐕𝐎𝐍 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐆: if not clear by her last name, she is so very clearly german to me. both by her last name and her coloring.

𝐓𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐘: jamacian

𝐊𝐈𝐌: ukranian

𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄: mostly indian, and a small bit african

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋: i don’t know, he honestly just exists in my head. if someone could pls let me know what ethnicity the face model i chose for him looks like, that would be great!! ty!

𝐃𝐎𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐄: mainly dutch!

𝐑𝐘𝐋𝐀𝐍: wasian, i’m so sorry but i haven’t put much thought into specifics for him

𝐈𝐕𝐘: english

𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐘: half english half spaniard

𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗: surinamese chinese

𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈: her name is japanese, but she has that pretty tan skin and those green eyes, so i’d say she’s part japanese, part filipino, and part kazakh! i'm aware her face claim isn't accurate to this, sorry ;^;

𝐄𝐈𝐍: i had a really hard time deciding on him. i feel like he’d also be native american and some puerto rican as well

𝐁𝐀𝐋𝐓𝐎: belgian

𝐈𝐕𝐀𝐍: peruvian

𝐊𝐀𝐈: i think he’d be wasian, ¾ japanese and ¼ irish (ginger)

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐍 & 𝐊𝐈𝐊𝐈: brazilian and egyptian

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐌𝐔𝐑: genuinely i cannot see him as anything other than a nerdy british man so that is what he shall be

𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐘𝐍: very obviously based on her coloring, she is also european of some sort. though, i haven’t decided specifics. it would honestly be so fun if her and kenmur were the stereotypical nerdy british couple though. so cute

𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐀𝐍: scottish

𝐃𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐀: since her village was in the water, an ethnicity from a northern european country by the water made sense to me. perhaps dutch?

𝐘𝐈𝐏: native american

𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎, 𝐋𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐎, & 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐀: scottish and dutch

𝐙𝐎𝐄𝐘: tall and sharper features fit the “elven” phenotype, so i think she’d maybe be estonian?

𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈: undecided

𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐍: undecided, though i’m leaning towards just making him british lol

𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀: half native american half latina

𝐋𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐓: undecided

𝐍𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐎(𝐍𝐄𝐊𝐎𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄-𝐓𝐀𝐍): half japanese, quarter korean and quarter hispanic.

𝐃𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐑𝐈: hispanic, korean, and german, though he looks more like dante than nicole.

𝐃𝐀𝐋𝐄: german

𝐌𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘: french

𝐀𝐋𝐄𝐗𝐈𝐒 & 𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐍: german and french (obvi lol)

𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐘: persian

𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐀: german

𝐊𝐘𝐋𝐄: persian and german... i guess? he got most of his looks from his mom

𝐉𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐘 & 𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐘: english/british

𝐂𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐌𝐀𝐍 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐃: undecided. idek man i just put them in here cause they make me giggle lol

𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐘: sean

©starhvney, 2024. please do not steal or repost my posts as your own.

taglist: @wasting-away-on-the-internet @angelhyperfixates @valentique @arienic @dazedbydeath @theaquaticplant @starsbrightly @kalegrinch @izzybella1807

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rosstrytobe · 12 hours ago

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IF YOU THINK WE DIDN’T HAVE ENOUGH GAY EDDIE HINT THIS SEASON I THINK YOU'RE BLIND BECAUSE YEAH HE SAID "I'M STRAIGHT" BUT IF YOU PAY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AND EDDIE LITTLE MOVES YOU SEE THAT HE'S A VERY GAY MAN

Let me show you.

First of 8x04, makes us show a man and his kid who split up as Eddie and Chris did and we see how much Eddie was devasted by it. But more we learned about their relantionship more it makes sense that they aren’t talking about Eddie and Chris but they're talking about Eddie and Ramon relantionship:

Like Ramon did at Eddie when he was little because he was always at work:

And when the that dad told him he was tired to argue with his son because he didn’t want him to be a cheerleader. Yep, that was the hint because cheerleader was always used before for men to says he's gay. And we see how Eddie got angry at the dad because of it, but he doesn’t know why though. He thinks he's talking to this dad to make the same mistake he did on Chris, but in the end it wasn’t this relantionship is have to fix first:

(As his parents weren’t there when Eddie got shot)

Then 8x06, it show a little of his catholic guilt and how the hot priest said he chose to drink water (something simple and clean as heterosexuality) instead of juice (something complicate and a mix of fruit like being gay) because he feels like he has to punish himself for what he did when instead as father Brian said he should start to earn his forgiviness and start to do something joyfull and taking care of himself (both for what he did to Chris but also to come to terms with himself and who he really is)

Also we want to talk about how the hot priest flirt with him and Eddie was all giggle and smilying?!

While when he discover his ex gf was an ex nun he couldn't have sex with her anymore??!!

Also all the things he could have done to express joy he chose to do a Risky Buisness dance and it was just screaming GAY 💅🏳️‍🌈

PLUS COME ON THE SEXUAL TENSION ON THIS SCENE!! HELLO!!

#gay eddie diaz #you are gay #in so may ways #and a diva #eddie diaz #gay arc #gay character #buddie #911 abc #911 8x04 #911 8x06 #911 7x05 #catholic guilt #queer coded #family issues #hot priest #gay panic #gay dance #risky business

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chevelleneech · 1 day ago

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Ody3 revolving around Tristan, not Avery…?

I cannot explain how desperately I need the Doctor Odyssey love triangle to throuple to be have been presented as Max and Tristan fighting over Avery, leading to a threesome, only to ultimately end up as Max and Avery realizing they don’t work without Tristan.

Not that I want him to be an after thought, but right now things are sort of framed as Tristan getting a taste of what he’s wanted after all these years, as well as Max and Avery falling into each other really early on insinuating they’re meant to be.

So I want to see them trying to figure things out, which includes a misunderstanding of all feelings involved, leading to Tristan walking away thinking Max and Avery are better suited as a couple, and them believing Tristan saying he just wanted sex from them. Thus they convince themselves a throuple was never an option, only for their relationship to start stumbling, because without the thought of Tristan bounding around the corner or leaping between them in bed unannounced… it’s not the same. Their spark isn’t there, because even just the thought of, “How/when are we going to tell Tristan?” gave them that extra bite.

Because Max is the life-worn one who is a bit more methodical, yet is naturally curious, while Avery is quite cynical and likes to know where she’s headed. Tristan, however, for as serious and rude as he can be, is the rebellious burst of light both of them are clearly drawn to.

So while I know a traditional love triangle or even throuples tends to be because the woman nabbed the hearts of both men, which is what happened with Ody3, I just really really want it to give a little twist. Center the character who is obviously insecure in his place with both of them, and who so clearly wants both of their approval. Tristan wants Avery and Max, they wrote it so blatantly, but he doesn’t (didn’t) know he wants Max too, because his focus was on the fact that Max showed up and managed to get Avery right away.

Having the pairing that instantly clicked, realize they need that third person would so good. It would also add to the beauty of how and why Tristan and Avery not even so much as hooking prior to meeting Max made sense, because they needed their third person. It would also mean none of the duos work without their third, which I don’t think has ever happened on network tv. A throuple that works as a throuple, because coupling them off simply doesn’t.

Lastly, I stand by the fact that their cast chemistry was intentional. No way they wrote Ody3 this questionably on paper, and cast three actors who sizzle on screen together, yet nothing is meant to come of it. A throuple is the only thing that makes sense, regardless of my wish for the above.

#doctor odyssey #ody3 #max bankman #avery morgan #tristan silva

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ikkesola · 2 days ago

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I’m having a lot of thoughts right now about the new episode and none of them are positive.

Firstly, I’ve made it known on my page that I’m a multi-shipper. I like both buddie and bucktommy but given the way this breakup was written I’m not feeling hopeful. It feels like a very bitter ending that made absolutely no sense whatsoever. It was always an option that they’d break up and I knew that going into it because unfortunately this is just how it goes but that breakup felt like the biggest disservice, like a slap in the face because it just came off as completely biphobic (the post ep interviews just made this 10 times worse) and ooc. It’s also the fact that Lou Ferrigno Jr had to put up with all that nonsense for no fucking reason. I as a tevan shipper am devastated but I also feel for Lou because he seemed to really love the role and was completely blindsided by this fucking crap. I could talk for days about how fucking shit Oliver’s interview was but I don’t feel like it so I’ll just say from the bottom of my heart absolutely fuck that biphobic rhetoric.

Secondly, as a buddie shipper, that end scene doesn’t feel like the win that it feels like for other buddie shippers for multiple reasons. 1. Neither are ready for any kind of relationship and idk if that scene will end with them sleeping together but let’s just say it does, that would also feel like a massive slap in the face because they would’ve had the chance to make such a beautiful storyline between Buck and Eddie but this one would be so cheap and flat. 2. Oliver’s interview where he says ‘let Buck fuck’. If they do in fact ‘let Buck fuck’ once it would be a slap in the face for shippers because honestly what would’ve been the fucking point?

Thirdly and finally before I stop ranting, the reactions to this have just shown me even further that people don’t care as long as Buck and Eddie are together. They don’t care that it would be fucking crap way for buddie to be canon. I guess as long as there’s two hot men kissing on the tv screen nobody gives a fuck about authenticity or representation :/

So many thoughts and feelings rn but I will say that as a multi-shipper I feel no fucking hope about any of my favourite ships right now lmao.

#911 abc #911 #evan buckley #bucktommy #tommy kinard #911 spoilers #im not going to include an Eddie tag or buddie tag for the fact that I don’t feel like being shat on for having an opinion :/

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lullabyalikpoptarot · 22 hours ago

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Enhypen's Thoughts on Being an Idol Part 2

Disclaimer: No facts, just a girl with cards, just had to say this. I expected them to give me wild answers and my boys didn't disappoint. It gets weird, dark and a bit uncomfortable, so if you are into that, keep reading.

Okay, I have been wanting to start this second section of this series for so long, but had other readings so had to push it back, as I am noisy and want more tea in the industry, so decided to go back with more questions for this. I also set intentions for some cards to pop out for specific reasons, so if they do, I will elaborate more, now I tend to get lots of insight from this group, so let’s see what I get here. Also, this is a lot, so sorry for the long read lol

Heeseung

Thoughts on Company? (Ace of Swords/2 of Swords/Page of Wands) This doesn’t seem too bad. Why do I always get their company is messy with their ideas and I get this here. I can also see he doesn’t always agree with their ideas. It is like they have an idea. It is like what he thinks and what the company thinks don’t align, so what he wants to do doesn’t always come about, or if they have an idea for him, he doesn’t go for it. He sees them as very timid and unwilling to take action on things or not comfortable stepping outside their comfort zone or bubble, lack of risk taking.

Thoughts on Industry? (3 of Wands/The Devil/The Hanged) Well, one of the cards I set an intention for popped up, which was the Devil. I set an intention if the environment is toxic for this card to pop up, so yeah, he finds the industry toxic and dark. Lots of things lurking in the shadows and that are hidden. Sinister shit, he can’t really do much about it, with that Hanged man card is like giving me see no evil, here no evil, just trying to remove himself from that. But what is it though? That I can’t tap into. Ok man, don’t hate me here, but with that 3 of Wands, he is giving me you might have to do some dark shit to expand globally as an idol. 3 of wands is about expanding and moving overseas. And with the hanged man, he had to do this, his hands were tied. Don’t shoot the messenger please, no facts, just a girl with cards. I am crazy lol

Effects Industry has on him? (Ace of Cups/9 of Pentacles/4 of Pentacles) Ugh, knew this would kind of be hard, so before I pulled the cards and asked the question, I got mental clarity and distortion. He may have found clarity about things, but can also have a distorted view on things now with this ace of cups, it gives me drinking. I sense this boy drinks a lot from the vibes I got in my past readings, but I can be very wrong. There is a lot of emotions and vulnerability and exposure he has felt as well. I was pulled to the birds in both the cards, which signify hope, love, freedom, happiness, joy and community, so he may have felt a sense of that as well, so it isn’t all bad. He has also learned to conserve and save and to protect his assets.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (The High Priestess/Knight of Wands/Temperance) Okay, overall see him having no problem with either. So, I did set an intention for the High Priestess to pop up if there is a ritualistic element to things, so I am getting they do fanservice to put a spell on the fans, to get them to be more invested in them. I mean, it doesn’t have to be sinister, it makes sense to make fans believe they are their whole world, so they can keep following them. He definitely pursues fans, flirts with them, we know this. I say he enjoys the love he gets and what he receives. I had to ask about shipping, because I felt this was more fanservice, and got Queen of Pentacles. I can say he may be cautious about it, but sees it as part of the job.

Jay

Thoughts on Company? (The High Priestess/7 of Cups/3 of Swords) Well, as I mentioned about the high priestess, they do some of that in the company. He is the third HYBE person to give me some indication of rituals they do there, what it is, who the fu** knows. They also squash whatever dreams, ideas and fantasies they have. He has definitely felt hurt, betrayed and slighted by the company.

Thoughts on Industry? (10 of Swords/The Lovers/Knight of Cups) I think he hates the industry to be honest. I get a sense he feels betrayed a lot, or he has been stabbed in the back a lot. The Lovers in this deck always gives me being shipped or contactually forced to do so and with the Knight of Cups moving away from it, he is like I want no part of it. So, if he adores members of his group, it isn’t for show, he sincerely just adores them, but we’ll see when I get to that question. So, I am getting binding spells for the Lovers card, if someone can tell me what that is, I tried looking it up, but that could be a thing too. I might be stepping into something here, because I do not feel good. Ya’ll are not stopping me with this! Your dirt needs to be exposed, although no facts lol I legit feel they put spells around these idols, so readers can’t go in deeper, this is why I get sick, they make you sick, so that you stop. I am starting to get it. But these industry heads aren’t stopping me, but I will need many breaks between this.

Effects Industry has on him? (King of Pentacles/8 of Wands/The High Priestess) Let’s just take a shot to see how much the high priestess comes up in this reading lol I am having a hard time thinking, man these guys are good, but I will push past this. I feel he is pushed to do a lot of things. He has learned to be as successful as he wants to be, I see him wanting to be this KOP’s, he will have to do all these activities, play along in a sense. This is so weird, he may have a book of secrets and spells, they may give them this, Idk, maybe he has learned to do spell work. This sh** I am getting is even too wild for me, this makes no sense. I mean it does, but didn’t think I would get weird sh** like this to be honest.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (Ace of Wands/The Tower/The Star) This makes no sense lol Let me try to make sense of this, so when he ignites some sort of shipping scenario, it creates chaos for him and he feels vulnerable when this happens. It is like he acts sweet with members out of kindness and when people take it out of context, he doesn’t like that. I need to ask about fanservice, because this was only about shipping to me, he gave me the 9 of Cups, in this deck, I see it as dissociation, so when he does fanservice, he doesn’t really do fanservice, he is just kind to the fans, he is sincere. I just sense a disconnection there, like he doesn’t do that, or believe in that, he’s just going to be himself. Alright, that was tough, moving on.

Jake

Thoughts on Company? (Queen of Cups/8 of Pentacles/Ace of Wands) Interesting, he sees them a bit favorably. I feel he believes they encourage him and give him a lot of love and support. They help him out when need be. They inspire him to take action on things. They encourage his growth. Just my opinion here, not going off cards, but I feel they may favor him, because he just goes along and doesn’t really fight back, so I can see him seeing them in a better light, but could be wrong here. I will admit being biased, I think the company is a piece of crap, but he favors them, they help him a lot, so I respect his opinions on this. I don’t hide what I get even if I don’t like it or goes against what I feel.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Lovers rv/6 of Cups/Knight of Cups) Okay, I don’t think Jake knows about any of the dark sh** that goes down to be honest, he seems oblivious, naive, and way too innocent. I don’t even think he looks too deep into things. I don’t see him involved in the ritualistic stuff. I feel nothing here, so I don’t feel any spellwork is on him. With the Lovers rv, it gives me he isn’t really binded or anything. The 6 of cups just gives me very naive energy. Honestly it may be better to not know, sometimes ignorance is bliss. He could be spiritually guided, so he may intuitively know which is the right direction to go in, so he doesn’t fall for traps. I just see him being oblivious to things, kind of in his own world. I always get positive cards for him when it comes to his career, unlike the others and now I may see why a bit.

Effects Industry has on him? (3 of Wands/Page of Pentacles/10 of Swords) Okay, didn’t expect it to be bad from the first two questions. I feel like it may be too slow of a process for him to expand. He may not like the work put into what he does. There could be some backstabbing and betrayal here with this 10 of Swords. I do feel he is kind of blocked or stunted here, this makes no sense though. I am just a messenger. I don’t get clarity on everything here. It is like he has a vision and wants to work towards something, but ends up being betrayed and gets very down when it doesn’t happen.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (10 of Swords/7 of Cups/Ace of Pentacles) He may like to fill the delusions of people, it brings in the money for him, or an opportunity for him. The 10 of swords may have to do with shipping, he may very well hate it. Not really understanding why that card came out, it seems a bit dramatic for this question. I got a clarifier and got the 7 of pentacles, and got it limits what he can do, this could go for shipping and fanservice. I don’t understand this boy and have no patience to go further.

Sunghoon

Thoughts on Company? (The Empress/Judgment/Temperance) He feels they helped create him. Did his Mother get him in the industry, know the company? Wtf is this I am getting. Also, I was pulled to look at the water in all these cards and got water therapy, so not sure what that means for him. He blends well with the company. They come to good compromises and conclusions. I am getting a weird message, but it is like two people, maybe his Mom, or someone who agreed with the company to get him there. Do we know how he came to be an idol? And should we believe it? lol I am also getting he is a bit caged in and stifled. I feel a lot of people pull the strings for him, going to be real, well as real as I can get with just reading cards, no fact, got to stress that.

Thoughts on Industry? (The Empress/2 of Wands/6 of Pentacles) Who is his Mother? I think she may have some pull in this industry, or knows someone. I don’t know how to put this, because this is not a good look I am getting here from his Mom’s end. I hate that I am getting this. I am just saying it in the best way I can, she may have pimped out her son, no facts. I am not going further, not liking this energy at all and I feel bad for Sunghoon to be honest.

Effects Industry has on him? (Ace of Swords/Page of Wands/King of Swords) To be cautious in how he approaches things. To be clear with his intentions. Maybe to detach a bit. He may have learned to repress his creative potential or curiosity. To approach things or see things intellectually. He also learned to defend himself and his ideas. I say he mostly tries to intellectualize things, rather than go with his passionate curiosity he may.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (Queen of Pentacles/4 of Pentacles/4 of Cups) It is all business and money to him. He is pretty detached to the idea of both. He doesn’t really care about either. I can tell he doesn't care, because he isn't saying much here lol

Honestly, this just made me really sad. I know there is more to the story for him, but I will be real, I don't think I want to dig further, I don’t think I want to know what he is hiding, because honestly I don’t see it malicious on his end, it is more on what others did to him. Kind of makes me sick. I hope I am completely wrong with this. There is a reason he may come off detached.

Sunoo

Thoughts on Company? (2 of Pentacles/The Moon/The Magician) There is uncertainty when it comes to them. I am getting they are hiding or repressing his potential. I am getting annoyed with this 2 of pentacles, not sure why I am getting this, I just get from that card that they don’t know what to do with him, like juggling what they should give him, honestly fu** them, I am annoyed. I see the moon card and the magician, and all I see is the moon (hiding) and the magician (potential/skill set), those two together, give me hiding his potential. He has the skillset to do a lot of things, but that is left in the dark. I can just sense his annoyance with the company in the energy.

Thoughts on Industry? (7 of Pentacles/4 of Wands/The Hanged Man) He is concocted how they want him to be like. He feels stunted and limited by the industry. It is a nice community, he enjoys the community, maybe the other idols. I got they commune with one another, so the other idols understand one another. He feels held back, tied up, and can't really do much. He’s learned to accept his situation.

Effects Industry has on him? (Page of Wands/3 of Cups/Justice) This is a weird message, but to go out and explore, but to be cautious who one is friends with, be rational, make good decisions. Have a good moral compass. It is like he likes to have fun, but he also needs to be cautious and not do any wild stuff. I am also seeing he may not want to engage in drinking or partying too much, because that can distort his thinking. To always have a clear mind. I am seeing that he may be tempted to do some wild stuff, maybe people tempt him, but he does not do it, because that could be used against him.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (3 of Cups/Page of Wands/7 of Cups) He may think people pay too much attention to it, put too much focus on it. He is cautious about being a part of a ship. He may feel some people are deluded, or he doesn’t want to be part of that narrative or fantasy. He also enjoys being around fans. I don't think he sees fanservice as a job, he sees fans as his friends, he enjoys their company, they inspire him in some ways.

It is hard to extract information from this boy. I have to sit much longer with the cards and his energy, which I do not like, to get any information.

Jungwon

Thoughts on Company? (3 of Swords/2 of Cups/Justice) It seems like they could have ended a partnership he was in, could be romantic, but maybe a partnership, okay now I am getting broken promises, so they may have promised him something, but they could have broken a partnership he may have wanted. I look at the Justice card and get wielding their power. I asked why the Justice card, because the Emperor would show that more, and was pulled to the little mouse on the bottom at the foot of the man in the deck and I got the message to balance the scales, so I will take this as they wanted to put him in his place, because he may have an upperhand on them, maybe he imposed too much power for them. Weird, but going with it. My brain will explode if I think too much of this.

Thoughts on Industry? (King of Pentacles/4 of Swords/The Chariot) Ugh, I really hate the messages I get here sometimes, because I lowkey don’t want to say this, but have no way else to move around this, not saying he does this, but what I see, is someone pampering the KOP’s, so this gives me you have to cater to the higher ups, and then I have the 4 of Swords, with a person naked, which can be seen as a bed, so you may have to lay in bed with them, there it is. I can’t take this any other way else. I just can’t unsee it. I was trying to figure out something else to describe this. Also, the person looks passed out in the card, so are they coherent? ugh god. The Chariot would mean further advancement, so to move ahead, you may have to do that. Why did he show me this, why did I get this message? This is what they do in the West, so do they do this sh** here too wtf I don’t see this happening with him in particular. He doesn’t give me that vibe, but could have happened to others he is aware of. I felt he may have gathered this information as he is a very observant person always looking for information. This could be why he was put in his place. He may know too much. Because this boy gave me a lot here, not going to lie. I want to know where he gets this information, how he knows this, and why did you tell me this!? lol I know I asked. Anyway, I got the message corporate ops when I asked how he knows, and my brain hurts, because I don't get what that means. This is how channeling works, you only get a word or two, or a sentence and you have to figure out how to interpret it, but this has me stumped.

Effects Industry has on him? (3 of Wands/King of Pentacles/The Sun) Well, he has learned you got to appease the higher ups to get to where you want to go. The child on the The Sun card speaks volumes to me, I get stolen youth, steal the light of the youth, they feed off youthful energy. I also see it as if you appease them, you find success. I am also getting they want them to depend on them, like they want you to be a child forever, so you can depend on them and not go any further. They give you everything and then act like you are ungrateful if you defend yourself and speak up for yourself, but the reason they do everything is to keep the upper hand, not out of kindness.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (6 of Pentacles/Knight of Pentacles/3 of Pentacles) It is all about money and work for him, it is part of the job. I feel he was told this could happen, so he was prepared. I feel he is all fine with fanservice, but shipping between members could make him uncomfortable, but he will push that aside if it benefits him in any way, success wise and financially. Not sure it does, but if it does, he may be all for it lol

I am surprised I didn't feel any discomfort with him with the information he knows. I would think he would have these spells on him too, so that intrigues me. I think he is very smart and knows how to maneuver around that. Very interesting.

Ni-ki

Thoughts on Company? (Page of Cups/The Hermit/4 of Cups) The first thing I heard was they ain't sh** lol They sold him a fantasy, he came in hopeful and optimistic. Maybe took that energy for granted. Now he seems pretty detached and avoidant from them. He is kind of closed off, doesn’t take many offers, if any, from them, or he isn’t emotionally invested in them. Pretty much a lone wolf(this kept popping up in my head), just trying to stay afloat this company. They may try to do things to make him happy, but it never really works or nothing they offer gives him any hope or excitement. He may not even want to be a part of this company anymore with this energy.

Thoughts on Industry? (3 of Cups/5 of Wands/10 of Cups) Boy does not like the idol life that much. The first word that popped up was cult when I saw the 3 of cups, so take that as you like. Maybe cult-like thinking as well. He doesn’t like the competitive energy, the drama, the fights. I was wondering why I got the 10 of cups, then I was pulled towards a pyramid on the card, never saw that, and got a pyramid scheme, so that exists, no facts though. I don’t really understand how that works, and not going to try to explain what that means, but that was the message I got.

Effects Industry has on him? (King of Wands/10 of Cups/6 of Wands) It fuels a strong passion within him. It can be a creative outlet for him. It allows him to shine. There is a burning passion there with him. It gave him confidence in his creative abilities. There is a goal he is focused on achieving, more on an emotional level as an idol, a sense of fulfillment, so that is why he may deal with the drawbacks of the industry. It brought out a competitive spirit in him. It is like the achievements he has, gave him more confidence in his abilities. He is able to shine and show his true creative potential as an idol.

Thoughts on Fanservice/shipping? (7 of Cups/3 of Wands/The Empress) I am getting he doesn’t care, if people want to fantasize, let them be, why do I get he sometimes plants the seeds or puts ideas in people’s heads to fuel it. I am not getting a clear answer. I just get a sense he doesn’t care.

Okay, this was a wild ride. It may take some time for me to get to TXT’s one. I do want to do them next, because I want to see if their answers align, being in a similar company environment.

#kpop tarot #enhypen tarot

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lovemesomeagnst · 7 hours ago

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What’s fiddleford and Stans relationship like in your au??

Fiddleford and Stanley sort of embody the roles of Julia and Carmen in this au!

Since Fiddleford is Ford’s partner, I thought it’d make super sense for him to be the one doubtful over Stan’s “misdeeds” because he believes there’s more to it while Ford is so adamant that his brother is wrong and needs to be caught. I figured Stan would find Fiddleford charming and amusing just like how Carmen was always open to seeing Julia.

Depending on the stage of the au, there would be moments where Fiddleford first attempts to capture Stanley because it’s what he believes he should do but as time goes on it grows into more ‘lowkey trying to stop him but actually just wants to see him cause curious by motives and intrigued’.

Stan definitely views Fiddleford as the fun part of any chase because he’s less rash like Ford and more open to try and understand Stan’s perspective. Plus he takes the opportunity to toss a flirting pick-up line or gesture whenever. I feel like Fiddleford knowing about Stan from Ford would want to try and understand both twins and so he approaches Stan a bit friendlier when he realises that Stan isn’t a bad person like his brother claims.

Also Stan trusts Fiddleford enough to hand him over the things he steals for safekeeping and also trusts him enough to involve him in some of his capers should he needs so.

There was also an instance where Stan accidentally breaks into Fiddleford’s home in Palo Alto, California and he runs into Emma-May and Tate. (Like that one scene where Carmen accidentally runs into a family’s home in Rio). When he looks at the pictures hanging on the walls he realises he’s in Fiddleford’s house and apologised profusely and positively influences Tate and adores the short interaction he has with the boy. They don’t really know who he is though. Later, Tate would tell his father about it and Fiddleford would be surprised but pleased that Stanley treated his family well. Stan knowing Fiddleford has a wife would lead to him backing off his flirting advances on Fiddleford the next time they encounter each other.

Also like in the show there’s this brief period where Fiddleford leaves his job to pursue a more peaceful one to cope with the Memory Gun incident with Emma-May (I have lore for this). His relationship with her has already been strained but the incident really broke things and he needed time off to process everything. Stan visits him sometimes to check up on him. Stan also checks in on Tate occasionally and dotes on him after the divorce between Fiddleford and Emma-May. I believe around this stage they get closer since Fiddleford isn’t actively trying to catch him anymore and Stan starts to know more about Fiddleford’s personal life while Fiddleford gets to know more about Stan outside his capers. Stan obviously has a soft spot for Fiddleford so he is gentle and charming and sweet towards him, respecting Fiddleford’s boundaries after the divorce.

Around that stage Fiddleford starts realising that he likes Stan a lot and could possibly want to be more than a friend (because they’re basically friends at that point) and Stan starts flirting back and after like Fiddleford gets more comfortable obviously. Stan has always sorta knew he liked Fiddleford because how could he not but he never really addresses it cause he doesn’t really know if there’s ever a proper time to. They sorta know they both like the other because it’s so obvious so then I guess they’re in a mutual I like you phase but haven’t acted on it yet.

Then everything goes bad when Stan gets brainwashed like how Carmen got brainwashed to become evil. In my au this happens through the use of the Memory Gun that had fallen into the wrong hands (much like how Stan lost his memory in canon but this ain’t some sacrifice against a triangle demon unfortunately). Fiddleford would be devastated and at that point really comes to terms that he does, really, superbly, loves Stan and works with Ford and Team Red and the others to bring him back obviously.

Once that whole debacle ends Stan and Fiddleford would talk things out together and work it out!!

Then they kiss!!

Some fiddlestan art I already posted here

#csxgf au #gravity falls x carmen sandiego au #gravity falls #gravity falls aus #Stan pines #Stanley pines #gravity falls stanley #fiddleford mcgucket #gravity falls fiddleford #fiddlestan #there’s plot im cooking up with this au #pls ask me more about it guys

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exwerewolf · 2 days ago

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A little bit of Edge of Midnight queer headcanons bc I’m insane and also nonbinary:

Jericho is somehow so transmasc. Even though it makes no particular sense considering as far as we know he’s always been a boy scarecrow, and obviously you’re not gonna but genitalia on a scarecrow. But he gives trans man to me. Wouldn’t label his sexuality but definitely is some blend of multisexual because he’ll take love where he can get it. In a triad with Marius and Lethica.

Lethica isn’t trans or cis but a secret third thing. If pressed, she’s say femme nonbinary, but mostly doesn’t give a shit. She is her main pronoun, but a they/it or some neopronoun is encouraged on occasion to spice things up. She’s bisexual, and actually leans towards women despite both her current partners (Marius and Jericho) being men.

Marius won’t identify as anything but a cis man, but uses he/they. He’s giving bisexual energy, but due to trauma is hesitant to have sex, and for a time referred to himself as asexual because of it (people who identify as ace due to trauma are valid 🖤). Kind of alternates between terms before settling on demisexual once in a relationship with Lethica and Jericho

Briggsy is also transmasc and is so happy he can wear open shirts now (because for some reason, reptilian women in dnd are always given boobs, and he took the decay as an opportunity to YEET THEM OFF because the top scars aren’t noticeable now). And he is very gay to me.

Farryn is a trans lesbian. The lesbian part is just canon, but she’s trans because I like trans lesbians. Also she’s more or less the queer elder of the group because she already figured everything out and was content with her identity before the journey, and is mostly just tired. She just wants to feed her birds.

Yorgrim is not sure why any of this matters in the most autistic way possible. He’s just Yorgrim and he’ll do whatever he damn well pleases (he vibes with the definitions of demisexual/demiromantic a bit, and honestly doesn’t consider his gender, but he’s not super interested in labels)

#legends of avantris #edge of midnight

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cassiopia-myopia · 2 days ago

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Pricefield Break-Up

*Disclaimer that I’m not saying that DE went about Pricefield the right way*

*And also that’s its very unorganised*

I’ve been seeing people talking about the comics and alternate timelines in relation to the Pricefield Break-Up, and I wish I could remember where I saw it but, but I remember I read someone talk about how in the comics, Pricefield were apart for 2 years before they got back together and it’s likely why they get to have a healthy relationship. So I wanna put my take on it out there.

Firstly, I think they probably got very codependent. I think Max used Chloe as a crutch, and that Chloe likely let her out of a sense of debtitude. I think that, while they were living out their childhood dream of traveling the country side by side, bodyguard and photographer, they lost their sense of being individuals. You can’t have a partnership when you’re a single entity.

In cases where two codependents are together, “One partner invariably becomes counter-dependent, resisting attempts at control and manipulation by emotionally and sometimes physically distancing themselves. For the “chasing” codependent, this may mirror previous relationships in which they were the pursuer, and they increase their focus on their codependent object, attempting to compel and commit them. Life becomes extremely perplexing for the counter-dependent. They are not used to being chased, and while it may boost self-esteem in the beginning, it is not sustainable in the long run. So the tug-of-war continues, with neither party willing to confront the issues at hand, leaving the relationship in doubt and the participants exhausted.”

https://freefromcodependency.com/2022/09/05/two-codependents-together-could-it-ever-work/

I think Chloe’s biggest fear used to be being abandoned. Her father, Max, her mother, her teachers, Rachel. Everyone she’s ever loved or admired has left her in the dust. At the end of LiS1, she’s so passively suicidal that she’d rather just die and get it over with, let the world move on without her(because it already has). She doesn’t know that Max will be haunted by her for the rest of her life. Chloe thinks, ‘Max has abandoned me before. She’s capable of abandoning me, at any moment. She’s done so much for me- she’s suffering so much for me. Maybe it would’ve been better if she’d decided to go back and stop the storm. Maybe it would’ve been better if I’d died.’ I also think that watching Max overcome every obstacle that she’s been stopped by searching for Rachel, she starts to feel like Max doesn’t need her, even as Max continuously states the opposite.

Meanwhile, Max fears rejection. Max fears the consequences of her every action. She already had before the ability to rewind time. She was always too scared to talk, because what if she says the wrong thing? She was too scared to expose her photos to the world, because what if her life’s passion, her every thought, was crap? She was too scared to keep texting Chloe, because what if she was just making it worse? It was both worse and better after everything in Arcadia. She learned that inaction had as many consequences as any action, so she started speaking up, and sending out her photos, and she started clinging to Chloe. “You have all of the time in the world,” her parents would tell her. Max learned the hard way that that’s not true; even when you have any control over it at all. She clung to Chloe like nothing else. For a time, photography was difficult for her; the one thing consistent over her life, her one passion and talent. But Chloe was there, and she was willing to support her. She loved her and forgave her and said they were destiny; that they would always be Max & Chloe. This is relieving for Max, because Chloe has always been the only one to ever make her feel like she knows what she’s doing. That’s how it was in their childhood, and she was bereft without her all the way until she found her again.

With Chloe as the counter-dependent and Max as the chaser, I do think that taking a break would be the only way for them to have a healthy relationship.

#chloe price #life is strange #max caulfield #life is strange: double exposure #lis:de #not to give d9 or square enix credit #do I think was intentional? not really #but it’s not completely unrealistic #codependency

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imsodishy · 2 days ago

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Take a Step That is New

another episode of Four's Company (a series on ao3)

this episode filmed in front of a live studio audience

May 1987

The cheery chimes above the door at Dot's Dinner ting-a-ling as Steve walks in and he almost throws his stupid briefcase at it. He settles at the last minute for telling it to, “Shut the hell up,” and heads for the counter.

“Whoa, buddy, rough day?” Robin's already saddled up on a stool, Billy’s just serving up her burger and onion rings.

The boxy fan they’ve set up on the counter does nothing to dispel the muggy heat that’s settled over the city, just moves the humid air around. It also does nothing to improve Steve’s mood, sweltering in his stupid suit, he yanks at his tie until he can breathe again.

Steve claims the stool next to Robin, peels off his stuffy jacket and slams it down on the teal formica counter top with zero thought for whatever grease or condiments it might find there, then he plonks his head down next to it without acknowledging Robin, and groans like a dying seal, “I hate my fucking life.”

It’s not true, Steve likes his life. Mostly.

What he fucking hates is his job. Which makes up… some way too big percentage of his life; 9 to 5, Monday to Friday is a big chunk of the week. The heat doesn’t help.

Robin pat-pats his shoulder consolingly. He hears Billy huff at his dramatics before walking away from the sad spectacle of Steve’s life. Off in the corner Seymour, a grumpy old regular who basically lives at his booth, frowns. He’s always frowning at something though. Mostly at Steve, though not exclusively. Eddie earns his fair share of stink-eye.

Robin's hand is still on Steve’s shoulder when he can sense her lean in closer and– “Don't fucking sniff me, dude!” He snaps upright, leaning as far away from her as he can without toppling off the stool. “It's so weird.”

“Sorry! Sorry,” she says, “You seem stressed is all, and I was just checking you didn’t go crawling back to sweet lady nicotine's disgusting embrace.”

Robin’s been rabid lately on her bid to get all three of them to quit smoking. It started with a not in the house rule, and has quickly progressed to all out war on the cancer sticks. Steve's the only one who's buckled so far. He's on an almost two month streak right now, and she's been playing hard defense to keep him on it. He draws the line at the sniffing though. That is simply unacceptable.

Steve rolls his eyes, and grumbles, “I didn’t smoke,” God, he could really go for one right now though, “If I bring a lighter to work I’ll end up burning the building down.”

A strawberry milkshake clonks down on the counter in front of him as Billy basically drops it like a bomb, “Oh my God. Quit! Just quit your stupid fucking job that you hate!” he explodes, “I cannot listen to your sad-sack, bitch-baby, whining about it anymore.“

Steve pulls his milkshake in close just in case Billy tries to confiscate it for bitch-baby behavior. “I can’t just quit,” he whines.

Billy just rolls his eyes and doesn’t try to take Steve’s one joy away from him. “Why? Because your Dad got it for you?”

And like, yeah, but Billy doesn’t have to be such a dickhead about it.

Billy landed his job at Dot’s Diner like some kind of magic. Seriously, their first day in New York, they hadn’t even unpacked any of the boxes they'd schlepped into the house when Billy dusted off his hands and said, “I'm gonna get the lay of the land,” and walked out the front door.

He came back six hours later with a job and a peanut butter milkshake. It took him a month after that to tell them where he worked, and he tells them frequently that he's regretted it everyday since he caved. They do spend a lot of time there bothering him, despite the fact he refuses to give them freebies. His boss, Sal (who reminds Steve a lot of Benny from the diner back home, if he had about two dozen extra tattoos, like they both rolled off a big, gruff, diner proprietor assembly line somewhere), is actually way more likely to sling them a free coke or some fries once in a while.

“We could find you another job,” Robin says, as she’s been saying for months, “One that makes you at least sixty percent less arson-y, guaranteed!”

Robin got her job at the campus bookstore through student services, (obviously not an option for Steve), although, with the first year under her belt, she's talking about looking elsewhere for employment, since the school pays them peanuts anyway, and she thinks she'll be able to balance her schedule better now on her own.

The door chimes jangle crazily as Eddie bursts into the diner, “Outstanding news chums!” he booms, ignoring Seymour scowling in his direction.

“Easy on the door, Munson,” Billy warns.

Eddie shuts the door with exaggerated care, before he hustles over to the counter and hops up on the stool on Robins other side. He gives himself a drumroll, rattling all the flatware on the counter. Old Seymour’s glare intensifies.

“I have news,” he repeats, flipping his cup right-side-up for Billy to fill with coffee he doesn’t need, upcoming nightshift at the bar or no.

Robin takes a guess, “You talked to you boss about getting the time off for the Hawkins trip?” she doesn’t sound that hopeful.

And for good reason. “What? No,” Eddie dismisses her with a flapping hand, “I have an audition with a band!”

“Gasp,” Robin says flatly. The only news Eddie gets this excited about is when he's auditioning, or sitting in, or has a lead on some new band seeking a guitarist.

Eddie, by his own account, got his so-called day job (it’s nights, bar-backing) by just hanging around the bar/music venue he frequents all the time, bothering the bartenders (and selling them weed) until one of them slapped a rag in his hand and told him to make himself useful. Which suits him just fine to fill time while he chases his music dream.

“Look, I'm going to Hawkins either way,” Eddie tells her with a carefree shrug, “If Rosco won't give me the time off I'll just quit and get a new job when we get back.”

“See!” Billy says, slamming the coffee pot back into it's cradle, “You see how easy that is, Harrington? You lose a job, then you get another one. C'est la fucking vie.”

Eddie leans around Robin to look at Steve, “Oh-ho. Did the little Lord Harrington finally break free from the yuppie rat race?”

“No,” Steve says, and slurps a big sip of his milkshake.

Steve didn’t get his own job at all, obviously. It was already lined up for him before they even rented the moving truck. It came pre-approved for him courtesy of his father and his father’s business connections. Steve's been working there for almost a year now, but he's still not entirely clear what they do.

It's real-estate... kind of? The company buys properties, but they do it by selling shares in the properties to other companies, then they use that money to pay construction companies to tear down those properties and build new ones on the land. Those construction companies use that money to buy steel and other building shit from Steve’s dad’s plants back in Indiana (and Michigan). Then Steve's bosses sell the whole shebang for several butt-loads of money for them and their investors to start the game all over again.

Steve’s job largely seems to involve standing around, insuring their side of the boardroom has the most men in suits at all times, and occasionally kissing investor ass. He’s a Junior Account Associate somehow.

It’s soul crushing.

“Aw, cheer up, Stevie,” Eddie says, slapping him on the back, “Look on the bright side, at least you can always keep our beer fridge stocked with that fat paycheck of yours.”

Robin does Steve the favor of smacking Eddie upside the head.

Steve decides to change the subject, “What’s the band called, Ed?” he asks, because that’s always good for a laugh at least.

Eddie holds his hands in front of his face like he's framing a marquee, “ God of Gore ,” he announces in a theatrical growl.

Steve snorts to himself. Yeah, that’s good shit.

“And,” he goes on, voice rising in pitch as he gets more hyped up, “Get this, their last guitarist up and moved to Indiana! How's that for kismet? It's fate, I tells ya!”

“Who would willingly move to Indiana,” Billy wonders, “The whole state's a toilet.”

Not at all bothered by the shit talking of their home state, Eddie hops down of his stool and announces, “Speaking of which, gotta drain the snake.”

While Robin is busy grimacing at that, Eddie wiggles incredibly unsubtle eyebrows at Billy. He gets a, much more subtle, jerk of the chin back, so Eddie slips right past the bathrooms and into the kitchen, and doubtless out the back door to smoke in peace, away from Robin’s judgmental gaze. He’s made vague, placating noises at her about cutting back, but he’s just been sneaking around behind her back, with Billy as an accomplice.

Billy might be smoking more out of spite.

Eddie's whirlwind act really made Steve feel like the sad-sack Billy accused him of being, and he’s sick of that feeling, gets more than enough of it everyday at work.

All the silverware rattles as he slams a decisive hand down on the counter, much to Seymour’s ire. “You know what I think would make me feel better?” Steve asks loudly and rhetorically.

He shoves away from the counter and heads straight for the jukebox.

“No!” Billy booms, pointing at Steve like he’s a cat on the counter.

Steve backs slowly down the aisle, facing Billy the whole way with big, guileless eyes. “What's that?”

“You’re still banned for Bryan Adams crimes.” Honestly, Steve’s probably got a couple bans stacked at the moment. Billy doles them out liberally.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Hargrove,” Steve bumps into the jukebox because he still won’t turn away from Billy’s impotent glare. It's great, his ears are going red.

“I call the shots here,” he tries, fruitlessly.

“No you don‘t, Sal does,” Steve snorts, “And, anyway, I am a private citizen, this is a free country! My dime is as good as anybody’s!” He's been spending too much time with Eddie.

Billy throws a spoon at him.

Steve cackles as he plugs the jukebox. There’s a couple beats of bassy synthesizer.

Billy tells him, “You’re a monster,” with feeling.

Then— “ Watching every motion in my foolish lover’s game.”

Steve slow dances back towards the counter, swaying to the dreamy beat of the bum-bum-bum-bubums, high on the joy of being deeply annoying. He slides back onto his stool just in time to dramatically sing along to, “ Take my breath awaaaaay,” right in Billy’s face. It's gone all red now, like the cherry on Steve's shake, which he happily pops between his grinning teeth.

“It’s not my fault Sal won’t put Mötley Crüe in there,” Steve says, munching happily on his cherry.

Billy storms off into the kitchen.

“Someday,” Robin muses through he mouthful of fried onions, “he’s going to feed you a floor burger, and I’m not going to stop him. This song is sincerely awful.”

“I like it,” Steve declares.

“Of course you do.” Robin pats his hand condescendingly.

She swivels on her stool to face him, a concerned little furrow in her brow, and ketchup on her cheek. “Seriously though, Steve, we could find you a different job. No problem. You got the job at Family Video, and Scoops before that.” Robin got him the job at Family Video, and he only got the job at Scoops because the first guy they hired showed up to the training stoned, but it’s nice of her to say. “You don’t need to stick it out because of your dad, you don’t need his help. It’s not your only option or whatever bullshit you’re worried about. You can get a different job. And, okay, no it wouldn’t pay as much, but you'd get by.”

Robin wasn’t Steve’s first real friend or anything like that, he wouldn’t even say she’s his first good friend . But she’s definitely his best friend. Steve lays a hand over her slightly greasy one on the counter, and furrows his brow right back at her, “But then, Robin, who would keep the beer fridge stocked?”

She rolls her eyes and turns back to her burger, “So we'd have to bid goodbye to Daddy Beer-bucks, we'd survive.”

They would. Robin, Billy, and Eddie are resourceful, and smart, and self-sufficient, they’d figure out a way get by, even with Steve hanging like an anchor around their necks. But Steve hates the idea of dragging them down. Actually can’t stand it. He literally gets a stomach ache if he thinks too hard about it. When he can hear future Robin, somewhere down the line, when she’s sick of his shit, saying You can’t expect us to handle every little issue for you, dingus, in his head, except sometimes the ‘dingus’ morphs into ‘darling’ and imaginary-Robin sounds disturbingly like his mother (which doesn’t help the stomach ache problem at all). So he needs to keep bringing in enough money to pay his way.

Steve just smiles at her.

Billy reemerges from the kitchen to make a round of his tables, giving Steve the evil eye as he goes, before settling behind the counter to concentrate on glaring at Steve despite the fact that the song is long over by now, Eddie Money is playing now. Steve raises his eyebrows at his glare, “Don’t look at me, I’m all out of dimes.”

Robin, perhaps prompted by Mr. Money asks, “Where'd Eddie go? He’s taking forever in there.”

Billy silently points over her shoulder to where they can clearly see Eddie’s hunched form cowering miserably under the diner's awning from the unpleasantly warm rain that’s finally broken after threatening all day. He’s sucking down smoke like his life depends on it. Must not have been enough shelter in the alley when the rain started.

“No!” Robin shouts, much like Billy had shouted at Steve earlier, and dashes out the door, bells cheerfully chiming her exit. Eddie takes a couple more panicked puffs before Robin gets to him and he has to start playing keep away with the butt.

Steve watches them through the window for a couple seconds like a real life version of those weird old puppet shows, “What are those puppets that–“

“Punch and Judy,” Billy answers the unfinished question.

He flicks a dime that bounces off Steve's forehead and drops to the counter with a ring-a-ting-ting. “Go put on some Springsteen, Bambi,” he says, smiling at him like he’s still a sad-sack, sure, but at least he’s one Billy’s kinda fond of, then he goes to top off Seymour’s coffee down at the far end of the other end of the diner.

For Billy alone, Seymour’s got a great big smile.

Steve has stapled his tie to his desk. Which seems like the kind of thing most people would only do by accident. Not Steve, though. No, he simply got so bored that when the thought, I wonder if I could staple my tie to this desk right now, breezed through his head he went ahead and did it.

Turns out he could, so he added a couple more staples for no better reason than the first one.

Steve feels like his brain is melting out his ears which is maybe half boredom, half the heat. The AC has been in and out all week, something about the grid according to maintenance. Turns out a cracked window and a fan isn’t any more effective on the 10th floor of a Manhattan office building than it is in a ground level diner in the Bronx.

“Harrington.” All the staples explode off his tie, flying all over his little hot-box of an office, when he jerks upright as Connor Michaels walks in to his office. The guy definitely notices the staples too, judging by the shitty little smirk on his face.

The thing about all of Steve’s coworkers is that they hate him, because he’s clearly just a doofus nepotism hire who has no business working here. They all hide it behind a veneer of polite condescension while trying to use him as a connection since his last name is Harrington, though. It’s all so pathetically exactly like high school Steve can hardly stand it.

Connor chuckles, “Tgif, am I right? Listen, I asked Laura to pull the permits for the Hell’s Kitchen property for me, but she’s on the rag or something and flipped out at me.”

The other thing about Steve’s coworkers is that they’re all douchebags.

“Okay,” Steve says to avoid stapling his smug face.

“I know she does shit like that for you all the time, so think you could work your magic?” Connor wiggles his fingers vaguely that reminds Steve of how his mom would talk about his sport’s things any time it came up.

Laura is the only exception to the douchebag rule. She’s smart, and competent, and the only woman at Steve’s level of management. She also hates Steve, but she doesn't try to hide it. She’s got integrity about it. The only reason she helps Steve with things like permits and filings is that she knows she’s the one who will have to clean up the mess if he royally screws it. She reminds him a lot of Robin in the early days of working at Scoops, just completely unimpressed by and uninterested in his King Steve bullshit.

Steve does frequently throw himself on her mercy, she’s the only reason he hasn’t caused any serious problems so far. Which is maybe the other reason she keeps helping him, because he unreservedly admits that it’s a joke that they’re on the same level professionally. And not a funny one.

Steve starts sweeping the staples that landed on his desk and not the floor into a pile, “Sure,” he says to Connor, hoping that’ll get him to leave.

No luck. Instead he tucks his hand in his pockets and settles into a slouches against Steve’s wall, “How do you manage that anyway?” he asks lightly, “You tapping that?”

Steve rolls his eyes, “No.”

Connor hums, “Yeah, not surprising. I bet she’s a dyke.”

And maybe, on a different day, when Steve wasn’t already at his boiling point both figuratively and literally, he would have responded more... diplomatically.

“I quit my job,” Steve announces as he walks through the front door of his house.

All three of his roommates turn to gape at him from the living room.

They were all lounging around in the bare minimum of clothes required for the living room with two opposing fans pointed at them in an attempt at a cross breeze when Steve arrived home with his briefcase in a cardboard box with shockingly little else in the way of personal effects in it. He really hadn’t built up much of a presence at the office over the nearly a year he worked there.

“What?” Robin exclaims, as she mutes the TV, “What happened?”

“I threw a stapler at a guy’s head.” Steve answers.

“A stapler?” Billy asks, baffled, “Why?”

Steve shrugs, “I don’t know. I mean, I also said a lot of shit, but the stapler was probably the button on it.” Steve drops his things, steps out of his wingtips, and starts tugging at his tie as he makes his way across the room, “It wasn’t even- Like, I mean, it was business as usual, really. It wasn’t anything new, and I just... lost it.” He’s down to his undershirt and boxershorts by the time he collapses between Robin and Billy on the couch with a massive sigh like a slowly deflating raft.

“Right on man,” Eddie says from his spot on the armchair, leaning over to slap Steve’s knee, “I bet that guy had a stapler to the face coming.”

He really did, Steve must concede.

“Shit, I can’t believe I quit.”

Robin makes a questioning noise, “Did you actually quit, or did they fire you? For the stapler thing?”

“Who gives shit,” Billy says before Steve can tell them he’s not actually sure technically, “It’s done and dusted either way. Which calls for a celebration!”

Billy bounces up off the couch and goes to the kitchen to collect a round of beers for everyone, he’s the only one who’s foregone a shirt so far, which is unsurprising. He pops the caps of with his ring before doling out the bottles.

“To casting off the corporate shackles!” Eddie toasts, Billy and Robin here-hereing it.

Steve takes a big gulp of his beer. “What the hell am I gonna do?” he wonders aloud.

“Celebrate!” Robin says, she’s also in a t-shirt and boxershorts, which she stole from Steve a while back for loungewear, “Like the man said.”

Steve huffs, “I meant like, longer term. The rent and stuff.”

“Don't worry, Stevie my boy,” Eddie says, clapping him on the back, “Once we find you a real person job you'll do just fine. After all, the rest of us plebs cover our fair shares with our piddly little paychecks, right?”

Steve, caught out, hesitates a beat too long (long enough for Billy's bullshit radar to ping), before saying, “Right. Sure. Yeah,” in a way that clearly doesn’t cover for him.

Billy squints at him, “We have all been covering our fair share of the rent, right, Harrington?”

Steve nods but he can’t maintain eye contact when he answers, “Right. Fair shares.”

Robin, catching on immediately, groans, “Oh god, Steve, tell me you haven’t been doing something outstandingly stupid, like paying half the rent, this whole freaking time.” When Steve doesn’t answer right away she screeches, “Steven!”

“Not half! I haven’t, okay?” he rushes to explain, “Just, like,” he holds up his fingers pinched so close together, “A little more, than you guys.”

“How much more,” Billy demands through clenched teeth.

“Well,” Steve tries to think of how best to phrase it, “Imagine we had a fifth roommate, who's rent I have also been paying.”

“So, double,” Billy’s basically growling now, “You've been paying double what the rest of us have. This whole goddamn time!” Steve hadn’t thought of it that way, but the math does check out. He thinks.

“And... also the utilities,” he admits reluctantly.

“Oh, Stevie,” Eddie says, shaking his head sadly.

“Fuck!” Billy shouts and storms off, stomping his way upstairs without anyone trying to stop him. When Billy removes himself from a situation, it’s best to let him.

“I can probably still get the job back,” Steve offers, even though the thought makes him nauseous. He’ll eat shit if he needs to, “If I tell them I was on coke or something they might actually respect me more.”

Eddie’s still shaking his head, but more decisively, “No way, man. We’re not letting you go crawling back to those corporate shitbags now, not a chance in hell.”

“No other job I can get for myself is going to pay a quarter as well, though.”

Robin backs Eddie up though, “You were miserable, Steve. None of us wants you to be miserable like that, not for any amount of money.”

Steve still can’t just let it go, though, “But without that money-

“There’s no need to panic, all we need is a plan. You’ve got savings, yeah? That’ll give us a cushion until you get a new job- we need to do a comprehensive household budget,” Robin says, like she’s already running numbers in her head, “We’ve been way too loosey-goosey about it, anyway.” Because they’ve been relying on Steve to smooth over any gaps. Not that they necessarily knew that. They’d just hit him up for beer and pizza sometimes and called it a Shill tax.

“I don’t know how to do a budget,” Steve admits with an apologetic grimace.

Eddie slings an arm over his shoulders and tries to pull him into some kind of wonky headlock while Steve resists him easily, “Don’t you fret, for you are a very lucky boy, with three wonderful roommates, whose collars are all extremely blue. We’ll show you the ropes.”

“You know what the easiest expense to cut is?” Robin says brightly, “Cigarettes.”

“You know what!” Eddie wheels on her, suddenly apparently at his limit on the whole smoking thing.

Steve watches them bicker back and forth for a couple minutes. Even though it’s clear that this has been building for a while, and of course the inescapable heat doesn’t help, Steve can’t help but feel like it’s his fault for dropping a stress bomb on their heads. Or at least it feels very reminiscent of watching his parents fight about the wallpaper when what they really want to fight about is their miserable marriage. What’s the word for that? Displacement?

Eventually he slips out, leaving Robin and Eddie to their squabbles he can’t really contribute to one way or the other and heads upstairs.

Billy's not in his room, but Steve didn’t really expect him to be.

Halfway up the flight of stairs from the second floor to the third there's a window, and outside the window is a strip of roof, about five feet wide by ten feet long, and gently sloped, covering their porch below. Billy likes to sulk out there, especially since the weather turned, though not quite so much since it turned mean.

Sure enough, the window is ajar and Steve can smell smoke.

He sticks his hands out the window, palms out, he comes in peace, “I’m coming out,” he says, “Please don’t hurl me off the roof.”

Billy doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t bite Steve’s head off either, which from him is basically an engraved invitation.

Steve hauls himself up onto the little stretch of roof, crab walking over ‘til he can plant his butt next to Billy. Even though the sun is sinking fast the heat hasn’t broken at all.

He snags the cigarette right out of Billy’s mouth as he settles next to him and takes a long, indulgent drag. He only grimaces a little at the taste, Billy and his fucking Marlboros.

“Ooooh,” Billy deigns to speak to him, snatching his smoke back, “Robin's gonna be mad at you,”

“More or less mad than when I tell her I'm not going to Hawkins this summer?”

Billy's hand freezes with the cigarette just about back to his mouth. His lips, already parted to accept it, now just hanging slack pointlessly. “Seriously?”

Steve shrugs, shooting for nonchalance, missing by a mile probably. “Figure I can do without getting the full rundown on what an embarrassing disappointment I am in person. I’m sure I’ll get the CliffsNotes from our answering machine anyway. Those were always more my speed.”

He figures they'll share a laugh at that, but when he looks over Billy's not laughing. In fact, he's not even smiling, he just takes a rough drag off the cigarette and then hands it back to Steve without prompting. “If your dad leaves any blowhard message on our machine, I’m deleting them.”

Steve’s not sure what to say to that so for a while they just pass the butt back and forth in silence until he screws up his courage to ask, "What about you? You mad at me?” with a wince, “About the rent thing.”

“Well I’m not fucking thrilled about it, Harrington.”

Yeah, that was obvious.

Billy runs an agitated hand through his hair leaving his curls, already frizzy from the humidity, even more messed up. “Thought- it felt like we were making it. Doing it for real, you know? Standing on my own two feet like a man,” he scoffs to himself, “ Stupid.”

Billy’s got a very specific tone he does when he’s quoting his dad, and Steve fucking hates it.

“You are,” Steve insists. Billy quirks an eyebrow at him, and Steve scrambles to clarify, “Making it. Not stupid. You’re making it.”

“Not without a heaping helping of charity apparently. I can’t-”

“It wasn’t charity, dickhead!” Billy’s mouth snaps shut, and thank god for that, because Steve has no more interest in hearing what Neil Hargrove would have to say about his son than Billy does in suffering through phone messages from Richard Harrington. “It just made sense. I took that stupid job from my dad, and the paycheck was the only good goddamn thing about it. And you guys have all this other stuff going on. You and Robin have school, and Eddie’s trying to do his whole music thing. I mean, what the hell else was I supposed to do with all that stupidly easy money I was barely really earning? Other than use it to buy you guys food, and beer, and, yeah, pay the fucking rent!” He’s worked up a good head of steam, but he deflates immediately in the wake of his outburst, “I mean, what the hell else am I bringing to the table here?”

Suddenly self-conscious in the silence that follows, and way too aware that he’s breathing a little heavy, Steve snatches the cigarette from Billy’s hand. Takes a huffy little puff, like someone who doesn’t know how to inhale, then takes a slower, more measured one.

“You sell yourself short, you know,” Billy says, uncharacteristically quiet. Steve looks over at him, but Billy's not looking back, he's gazing out across their neighborhood instead.

“Look,” he goes on, slow and awkward, “I don’t exactly know where I'd be right now, if not for you. But, I know I wouldn’t be here .” He throws his arms out wide to encompass all of New York City, and their whole life here.

It's not like they have a spectacular view or anything, they're not up remotely high enough for that. Their sagging little strip of roof, on their rundown building, isn’t even facing the glittering Manhattan skyline. Down below them a taxi driver is shouting at a truck that’s blocking a cross street. The humidity is oppressive and the heat makes the streets stink like garbage, and it’s not like it’s any cooler in the house.

Their whole life here? It doesn’t actually look like very much from the outside.

Steve gets it though.

He jostles their shoulders together, “You would have gotten out. You would have made it anyway.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Billy plucks the cigarette out of Steve’s grasp, kills the last of it and pitches the butt to the street below. Steve watches the glowing trail of the cherry as it falls.

“You know,” Billy says after a long stretch of mostly comfortable silence, “If you don’t go to Hawkins, you’re gonna have to let Eddie drive the beemer.”

“Shit, I didn’t think of that.” He waves off the thought, “Can’t be helped. I need to start the job search anyway.”

Steve thinks about that process for all of thirty seconds before he groans, “Man, my resume is gonna be so fucking weird.” Steve lists his employment record out on his fingers, “Scoops Ahoy, burned down. Family Video... I don’t think I gave notice at Family Video, I think I just left and didn’t come back. Kensington Group Limited, assaulted a co-worker with stationary.”

“Well, if all else fails, you know Eddie would love to fake some references for you,” Billy says, “Bet he’ll do voices and everything.”

“Just what I need. A reference from Gondelf.”

Billy snorts a laughs, “It’s Gandalf, you know it’s Gandalf.” He’s right, Steve knows that, because Eddie never shuts up about that book.

“Mmm, pretty sure it’s Gondelf. I mean, he’s an elf, right?” Billy just rolls his eyes but he’s smiling, and listing a little towards Steve.

“Billy,” Steve speaks softly, earnestly. Billy hums back a question, “Would you... get me a job at the diner?”

Billy explodes with laughter, “Fuck no!”

“C’mon,” he wheedles, through his own laughter, “We can commute together! Sal loves you. Be a pal, put in a good word for me!”

Billy punches him in the shoulder, “Sure, I’ll tell him you’re a chronic masturbator and that I’ve never seen you wash your hands.”

“Thanks, buddy. I really appreciate that.”

Billy grabs the shoulder of Steve’s shirt and rattles him around a bit like a dog with a squeaky toy, “I’m going to shove you off this roof,” he threatens through laughter.

They lapse into giggly silence and then just silent silence. Billy keeps his grip on Steve’s shirt like he’s worried he might actually go toppling over the edge after all if Billy doesn’t keep a tight hold.

Or maybe he’s just forgotten that his hand is there.

“Hey,” Steve says after a while, just to get Billy to look him in the eye, “We’re gonna be fine,” he reassures him once he has.

Billy’s undivided attention is always intense, eyes like blue lasers locked on to a target. It used to freak Steve out in high school, but he’s gotten used to it. It’s just how Billy is. Sharp like that.

Sharp enough that he reads Steve like a goddamn book and knows that as much as Steve really was trying to reassure him, he was also, maybe just a bit, fishing for reassurance too.

“We’re gonna be fine,” Billy parrots.

They stare at each other, probably for too long, sitting in a little loop of comforting and being comforted. And Steve, he believes it. They’re gonna be fine.

They have each other.

#steve harrington #billy hargrove #robin buckley #eddie munson #harringrove #(pre harringrove really but ya know)#more cross-posting #dishy writes #four's company #fic

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