#it all happened in creative writing too
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fun fact: the reference i used is an irl image of me and my friends
and yes i did beat my friend with 2 +4 wild cards… it was the best feeling in the world
#giggling cause i saw the potential on this image the moment my friend took the picture#fnaf#ggy trio#cassie fnaf#fnaf gregory#ellis fnaf#fnaf tony#tony becker#fnaf security breach#art#fnaf art#it all happened in creative writing too#which to me makes it funnier
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@cokoweee
Ya’ll ever have a dream so lifelike it feels aggressively real until one thing goes a little too wrong and then you start to realize that maybe you’re in a dream but it’s also too real to convince yourself it’s not real that you can’t wake yourself up?
TW: panic attack, I say gun, uhhh blood ig? Bishop says a kinda weird thing but that's just him bein him
can I say blood? last time I did it marked me as mature...
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Her heart thumped against her chest, lactic acid building in her legs as she ran. She tapped furiously at her phone, fingers slipping over the screen as she tried to deploy Sheldon.
Donnie says “no no no” chimed a pixilated picture of Othello, his finger waving back and forth.
“What the-” She slammed against a wall, her shoulder crunching against the brick.
His stupid programming on the poor thing to keep Sheldon at his house. Maybe she could override it?
No, not enough time. She was just going to have to run and hope for the best.
Her shoulder screamed in protest as she climbed the ladder in the alley. Scrambling over the side of the building to catch her breath, she tapped at the screen again.
There had to be something she could do to foil his programming. She wiped at her nose, the cold still not quite gone even after days of bed rest. Bullets flew over the edge of the building, seemingly locking on to her body heat. Throwing herself at the ledge at the last second to force the bullets to crash into the wall she coughed violently, phlegm coating her throat.
Stupid sickness.
Stupid Othello leaving her with the stupid rabbit farmer.
She pushed herself off the ground, arms struggling under the weight of herself. It was as if every muscle in her body was on fire, each fiber screaming at her to stop. She gulped raising her head over the ledge. Agent Bishop was standing on the adjacent rooftop, his face curled into a sneer, eyes unblinking despite the sun in his eyes.
He waved at her, fingers waggling in the air as he pulled a small gun from his pocket. Aiming it directly at her chest he grinned, his eyes flickering with something distinctly unhuman.
She stumbled backward, her feet skidding over the concrete as he seemed to lock onto her. Loose rock dug into her knees as she clambered over the rooftop.
Away.
All she needed to do was get away.
She placed a hand over her stomach, feeling the raised bump of the scar, as she moved.
This was…
This was wrong?
It didn’t happen this way.
No. She didn’t need to get away, she needed to get out.
The bullet ripped into her skin, tearing away at muscle, and shattering the bone in her rib.
She screamed, blood pouring from the gaping hole in her chest, as Bishop moved closer. He walked to her side, footsteps clanking against the concrete.
Clawing at the ground she dragged her body along the roof, rocks digging under her nails. Bishop laughed, his foot trampling her hand, digging it into the ground. She gasped, breathing shallowly as she fought to get loose.
He grabbed her hair, wrapping it between his fingers and tightening his grip as he pulled her from the floor.
“Oh, this is wonderful.” He smiled, voice dripping with venom. “Such a pretty little thing I caught this evening. I’ve been dying to chat with you.” He pulled her hair up, forcing her to rise. “I wonder if she’ll do any tricks?”
She spat in his face, her ears filled with an all-consuming ringing.
Away.
She needed to get away.
It didn’t matter how. She needed to get away.
He said something else, flaunting some sort of mechanism he had hidden in his shirt. She tried to focus on his words, but her breathing was too shallow, her limbs too shaky, the ringing too loud for her to hear a word.
She clamped a hand over her chest, a sorry attempt to staunch the flow of blood from the gaping hole in her body. Cursing softly she watched as the red seeped into a slithering pink fleshy mass.
She stifled a scream as the pink turned an orange maroon, her own blood fueling some sort of monster.
“Shhhhhhh.” Bishop whispered against her ear, ���It’ll be done soon. Just one quick slash and you’ll be out of my hair for good.”
The mass jumped forward, faster than she could comprehend, her body spasming in pain as she scrambled back.
Was this the Krang she’d heard so much about after she’d left the jail? Weren’t they supposed to be mindless or something?
It lunged forward again, tentacles lashing toward her face. Bishop shook her in front of him, like a toy for a dog.
“Kendra?”
She screamed as he tightened his grip on her, shaking her around like a bag of flour. The world around her turned hazy, her vision blurring in and out.
She wasn’t going to go out without a fight.
Throwing her head back she jammed her skull into his chin, breaking the grip he had on her hair.
She clawed at the ground, a strange silky feeling coating her fingers. Pushing away the softness of what was sure to be Krang, she kicked at the mass as it wiggled unnaturally.
“KENDRA!” A familiar voice shouted at her, a gentle three-fingered nubby touch against her arm.
Her eyes flew open, arms flailing to the sides to swat at what was left of the Krang matter, as hands held her back. She gasped, her chest heaving as a sinking feeling hit her gut. Dread splashed over her head like a wave, drowning her, leaving nothing but fear.
Eyes widening she looked next to her for Tello, horrified as darkness encroached on her vision, leaving her staring through a pin hole. Nausea rolled through her stomach as she gasped for air, her chest shuddering to keep up with her breathing.
It hurt. It hurt so bad.
“Hey, hey, hey.” He whispered, hand placed against her back. “It’s ok you’re home. You’re with me.”
She jerked backward. He was loud. So so loud. Even with the ringing in her ears, he was too loud.
Breaths were punched from her lungs faster than she could finish taking them in. Tears streamed down her face as her eyes blew wide. Her chest tightened, lungs twisting as she shook.
She’s dying. She has to be dying. There’s no other explanation.
Dead in her room from a nightmare-induced heart attack,
Her eyes flickered back and forth over the room, not focusing on anything, just wildly scanning for danger she knew wasn’t there. Willing her arm to move, she let out a chocked warble.
The room seemed to melt around her. Things blurred together, a fuzzy abstract painting of almost-real-life. Sweat beaded on her forehead as she tightened her muscles.
Her whole body shook as she tried to take steadying breaths.
“Did you know softshell turtles only have half a plastron?”
She was in the middle of dying.
She most definitely did not need turtle facts right now.
“Technically a full one, but it’s covered by skin, rendering it effectively useless for plastron purposes.” He shrugs. “Same deal as the shell.”
She looked at him, confusion breaking through the panic.
“Makes us really flexible though. Wanna see?”
He got off the bed, walked to the middle of the room, and bent backward. He smiled upside down at her from the floor and smoothly brought himself back up.
“Pretty neat huh?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Bet no other turtle you meet could do that.”
Amusement rippled through her as she watched him demonstrate his stretches and various yoga poses.
“I’ve never met another turtle like you.” She breathed, some of the panic melting away.
“Precisely! No one can do it like me!” He said, pointing his finger at her triumphantly before his face softened. “ We starting to feel a bit better?”
She brought her thumb and pointer finger close together. A little
He nodded. “Am I good to come back up or do you need some space?”
She patted the bed next to her, inviting him closer. She waited until he was seated comfortably before slumping against his shoulder, exhausted.
He shifted slightly, reaching for his phone with one hand, the other wrapped around her. He let them sit for a moment, reminding her to breathe every few seconds before Sheldon zipped into the room.
He whispered something to Othello before zooming out of the room. She watched passively as it happened, her body still not quite connected to her soul.
Sheldon returned moments later, a bag of ice, a bottle of water, a cookie, and tub of lavender lotion in his little propeller arms.
Othello took them from him, patted his head, and shooed him away. Taking one of the ice cubes he flattened out her hand and placed it in her palm.
She jerked slightly at the sensation of cold in her hand, surprised when he placed another in her palm.
“Focus on the melting.” He said, voice low and gentle.
The ice filled the lines of her hand and dripped over the sides and down her arm. She shivered as the water pooled in her hand. Othello grabbed the cookie from the pile he had created and broke off half to give to her.
“Thanks?”
He watched her carefully. “What does it taste like?”
“A cookie?” She said through a mouthful, her hands still full of TV static.
“I need details.” He pressed.
She paused, taking a moment to consider the flavors in her mouth. “Vanilla, chocolate chips.” She took another bite. “ Like I left it in the oven a minute or two too long and overcooked them just slightly.”
She’d have to make another batch, this time keeping an eye on the time.
He pressed an uncapped water bottle into her hand. “Drink.”
She pressed the bottle to her lips, feeling the way the cold blossomed against her skin as she held it there. Quietly observing the way she could feel it go down her throat and into her stomach.
“Are we feeling more alive?”
She nodded, running her hand along her thigh to feel the fabric of her pajama pants as she pressed her head against his side.
“Good.” He murmured, sleep creeping into his voice. “You had a panic attack I’m pretty sure.”
“...Sorry it was for something stupid.”
“I get worked up over stupid stuff too.” He mumbled, eyes half closed.
“Your stuff isn’t stupid.” She countered.
“Then neither is yours.”
She stopped, lifting her head to look up at him.
He grabbed her hand, flexing the fingers for her. “You feel ok?”
“I don’t know.” She answered honestly.
He nodded and guided her to a lying position. “Tell me five of your favorite things.”
She paused, looking around the room. “Hmmmmm. You.”
“Thank you.”
“Mhm. Uhhh, lavender. The color purple. Satin jackets. Baking. Messing around in the lab. Oh, I guess that’s more than five.”
He tapped her shoulders rhythmically, “You can keep going if you need to.”
She took in a deep breath. “I think I’m ok now.”
“Positive?”
Nodding she pulled the blankets over herself. What she really needed was rest. She was so exhausted from the whole ordeal that the idea of doing anything else felt impossible.
He got off the bed again, searching beneath the bedframe for something before he pulled a large purple blanket from under the bed. She blinked in surprise as he placed it over her, a weight holding her down to the bed.
“I should’ve mentioned it was weighted.”
She pulled her hand out to give a quick thumbs up as he climbed back into bed. She shifted to hold out her arm for a hug. He smiled and pulled her close, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“You smell like you’ve been using my soap.” She grumbled against his plastron.
He shrugged. “ I like the way you smell.”
Rolling her eyes she tugged the blanket higher over her shoulders smiling as soft chirping filled the room, the sound he always made right as he fell asleep.
“Good night Tello.” She whispered.
His plastron vibrated as he churred back, gently running circles through her hair.
She was home. And she was safe.
~
squad don't write stuff at four AM I'm pretty sure this only makes sense to me at this point. Anyway I was listening to my pretty princess playlist while writing this 💁♀️
the reason why this was written is in the tags btw
#Me and my friend were hanging out and she got all excited when I told her I was minoring in creative writing#she asked for me to read me some of my stuff and I agreed LIKE AN IDOIT#well i open my docs and low and behold it's what I posted yesterday#mind you that doc is titled ugly sewer man and his pretty wife#i scroll before she can see the title but at this point I have to read this one#its too late for me to exit the doc without me being suspicious#I read it and she's all like “Well butter my backside and call me a biscuit I forgot you wrote but you do a pretty dang good job!”#I'm just sweating bullets coz I just read her my fanfic of Donatello the ninja turtle and Kendra the dragon chick#she'll never know and I'll never tell her that she was read kendratello fanfic with the names and some of the words replaced#its worth it to say that this isn't the first time that this has happened with her#last time it was the freaking really long one with Leo dying dead and Don also trying to die dead#i went home and cooked myself some pasta to recover because wtf was that#and I was so upset by the situation that instead of sleeping I wrote more kendratello fanfic?#pee pee poo poo#caca dodo even#FOUR AM BABY AND IM STILL HEREEEEEE#Ya'll also got some free stuff to use to help a hommie out if they ever start having a panic attack#tapping method will work on yourself as well if you start feeling freaked out or not in your body.#just cross your arms over your torso and put your left hand on your right shoulder and vice versa tapping your shoulders one at a time#im sleepin now#gn yall#Paige writes
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I would also like to see some miphlink, if that's okay!
I was really struggling with what to draw, and then I remembered your ask from ages ago (dang ADHD brain...) anyway, sorry its such a late answer, but Miphlink inspired by Dicksee's La Belle Dame
#thank you so so much for the ask stars!! I had completely forgotten about it (I'm so so sorry!!) and it saved me from an artist-not-arting#you know the sort of pent up unpleasant feeling you get when you need to do something creative but its not happening and then its sad?#yeah I didn't get that because your ask suddenly popped into my head! so very happy about that :) thank you!#link is a horse girl and we need more of it in life#also to try and get the flowy fabric look that Dicksee's La Belle Dame has without putting Link in a dress I decided to modify Mipha's fins#and then added some of that gorgeous salmon colour from the original piece#also the reason the reason the champions tunic etc have that grey tinge to it is because the knight was wearing armour in the original piec#with a beautiful duckegg blue grey colour and I thought including that might be fun too!#anyway#the couple that is perfect for one another and should always be together for all time: Mipha and Link#mipha#link#botw#creativesplat draws#breath of the wild#miphlink#lipha#I really need to catch up on the miphlink tag... its so exciting to have so much wonderful art and writing to look through but I am a rathe#busy/ adhd forgetful bean so whenever I get round to reading or looking at art... there will be a long reblog/ queue of miphlink stuff!#eventually#at some point#because fashionably late (coughjustlatecough) is my middle name!#enough rambling sorry#I love drawing miphlink its like a comfort drawing thing#like her head is so squidgy and so easy to doodle so if ever my brain is bored or I want to draw and need happy hormones but can't find the#mipha is the answer because the squishy head is just sooooo good#the designers of mipha were amazing and I love them#epona#tloz#zelda
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A notification flashes across phone screens everywhere throughout NRC. The radio podcast, NRTea has gone live once more!
"Hello, hello, dearest listeners! And welcome to another episode of NRTea, the hottest tea party on sages island! I'm your host, Chamomile-"
"and I am Earl Grey"
"And oh boy do we have a story for you today! Take it away, Earl!"
"...alright.
As of late, there have been brambles spiralling up and encasing parts of the Ramshackle dorm. The brambles themselves seem generally harmless, as do the roses that fall from them, but if you prick yourself on the thorns, it would be quite an unpleasant sensation, so I'd suggest exercising some extra caution when visiting for now."
"Yup, yup! If you've got a friend or two living in the dorm out there, go check on em and make sure they're doing okay!"
"I know I myself must check in on my dearest companions soon..."
"Well that's it for now! We've been your hosts, Chamomile-"
"And Earl Grey,"
"And this has been NRTea. Stay thirsty, dear listeners!"
The stream continues on for a bit before cutting off, though.
"Hey... James?"
"Yes?"
"Y'know how Yuna has been locking up lately and stuff? Says she's been super sick recently."
"Mhm... It's quite concerning, if I am being honest. I haven't seen her for a while..."
"...I wonder if Yuna is alright. I hope she doesn't get hurt with all those brambles."
"...Me too, Lewis. Me too."
(✨YUNA OVERBLOT STUFF YAHOO!!!
-✨mod, @night-raven-miscellany. Technically James and Lewis, too, but I haven't been adding them fhdjfj)
Kiyuu stared down at her phone with a frown as the podcast ended. She didn't say anything, prompting Aros to speak up from behind her.
"...Lucky you haven't been over there for a while, isn't it?"
He spoke, giving Kiyuu a faint smile, leaning in just a little closer while dabbing a makeup brush into the eyeshadow pallette in his hand, before applying it, making slightly quicker movements than previously, already being able to tell what Kiyuu was thinking.
They both knew the signs by now from even just a glance. With the context the podcast had accidentlly given... Something bad was about to happen. That much they could tell.
His expression morphed back into a frown as he watched how Kiyuu's face seemed to go through a cycle of conflicting emotions, confirming what he'd thought.
"...Yuuto's close by, though. And he definitely won't hesitate to head straight for Ramshackle once he suspects something's happening..."
There was more silence, only disturbed by the quiet sounds of rummaging through makeup and supplies from Aros. They'd been in the middle of testing out some makeup samples Aros had been sent for a promotion when they'd decided to tune into NRTea's podcast in the background.
"...Would you like me to quickly finish applying your makeup before we go?"
Aros offered, picking up an eyelash curler, and tilting Kiyuu's head up gently with his pointer finger.
"But-"
"Ah- Let me finish now. If you're worried about time, I'll change up our plan, do something quick, yet effective, instead. Don't stress out more than you need to. It won't do you any good."
"Mmh... Okay then. I'd- really like that. Thank you..."
Kiyuu conceeded softly, a silent exchange of gratitude from Kiyuu between them, Aros nodding in response, expression neutral as he continued.
"...Heh. I bet he's real excited right now. I worry a lot for him when he does this sort of thing, y'know. Just doing whatever he wants with no consideration to anyone else's feelings..."
Kiyuu mumbled, an underlying bitterness that she never quite felt wholeheartedly in her voice.
"That's just how he is. The only thing for us to do now is help them both out, hm?"
"Ah- right..! Yuna, I heard their name was, I think... I hope they're alright..."
"As do I."
Aro's commented as he stood, reaching instinctively for his hand mirror, handing it to Kiyuu as he hastily, yet still neatly, tidied up his supplies.
"Satisfactory?"
He asked, turning his head around to gauge Kiyuu's opinion.
"Yeah! More than, for sure."
Kiyuu agreed, handing back the mirror. She felt a little better now, the familiar feeling of her makeup calming her nerves ever so slightly.
After a few short moments she stood, hastily reaching to fix up her hair into a more practical fashion.
"Okay! Okay. Let's go! We shouldn't waste anymore time."
She announced, projecting bounds more confidence than she actually felt.
"Yes, let's. Perhaps we'll even arrive before anything too disastrous occurs on either party's end..."
Aros responded. Though somehow, they both doubted that much of a miricle would happen for them today...
#{ - ooc //#WAAAA I SQUEALED WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX WHEN I WOKE UPPPP#then i proceeded to get so busy i completely forgot to reply.....#SO NOW IM HERE AT 1AM WOOHHH#i think i accidentally got way too invested in setting the scene between kiyuu and aros... ahaha....#the context for yuuto is that he was js out with Xen (his crow) in the outskirts around ramshackle when this all happens#so he's either like THERE ALREADY or like literally about to be#bcuz the thing abt yuuto is that he will literally run TOWARDS DANGER no matter the circumstances#feel free 2 do whatever sparks ur creativity n jazz w this info ;3#eufhajfj anyway thats all i nearly fell asleep so many times while writing that BUT ITS ALL WORTH ITTTT#IM SO EXCITED I SWEAR ILL BE MORE ON TOP OF THIS TMRW😭🙏#hopefully aaaaaaaaaaaaa-#aue's asteryn#asteryn kiyuu#asteryn aros#asteryn yuuto#twst oc#twst ocs#twst oc rp#oc rp#twst yuu oc#twst#twst yuusona#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland
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*wants to create some art so badly* *feels too caught in her stupid head to just do* *instead decides to add "do art" to the neverending list of things to bestow upon Shepard in the post Akuze recovery fic* *doesn't even let Shepard do art in the fic but instead procrastinates writing about someone doing art by watching videos about art therapy instead*
whatiswrongwithyougirl
#writing is hard#arting is even harder#I wanna do art just for the process of srting so badly but feel too caught up in the perfectionism about the result to do it for the proces#I feel like I don't have the creativity to create something unique on my own but if I follow some tutorial or something it is not unique an#i cant post it and if I cant post it did it even happen?#so I just completely do not do it at all#and this is very stupid and I would beat everyone else for thinking like that but girl help how do I get out of it?
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Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
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#PHEWWWW HI GANG#im writing this via tumblr web so bear with me but i hope everyone’s 2025 has started off well so far !!!!!! a lot has happened on my end#(the good and the bad but we are thugging it out!)#i’ve received very wholesome messages from my lovely moots which i’ve taken a sneak peek of and will be replying to when i get the time !!#anywho! i don’t know when i’ll be back on here bc my creative juices have been DRAINED so yeah :C i didn’t wanna leave completely so i#archived my acc for a bit while i sort things out :3 — my reason for doing so is mixed really. more on losing motivation and just basically#stuff to worry about irl BUUUUT i missed you all so much and me being here and making a post means its kinda getting better on my end so ya#prob not relevant but i’ll enable my asks again if anyone wants to leave anything so that i can come back to it again when i log on sjdnksj#also also i’ve been watching ‘the apothecary diaries’ s2 and its so amazing !! i also started ‘a sign of affection’ and let me tell you how#much i was kicking and rolling around my bed KSNDKSJ#gaming-wise i recently pulled for c0 arlecchino but lost her weapon to clorinde’s weapon 😭🙏🏼 but shes amazing and i love her gameplay sm!#AND AND OMG LADS.??. WELCOME BACK CALEBBBBBB OMGGG i havent done the main story yet but i’m excited !! i know ppl have mixed feelings over#him and his actions but hes so up my alley so ik im gonna be eating it up hehe. i did manage to pull for his standard 5 star which is#exciting too !!! anyway i want to try and get back into writing again because my mind has been brewing yet another heavy chrollo angst 😽#(i love putting my husband through grief)#or maybe i’ll start w finishing off a couple of loose ends from the fics i never finished 😭 (i’m so sorry)#welp that’s all from me !! i love u all <3
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i need you all to know that the main reason (besides a general hunger for attention) niles even accepts aldori’s call is because he got caught stealing his student’s work and passing it off as his own and his reputation as a teacher was obviously ruined. lmao
#when i say that niles is the most envious creature i mean it#he’s watched a good handful of them become more successful with their music than he ever would be and felt that since he was basically the#reason for the success (not really. not like it’s everything it’s mostly luck but you have no real passion for this lol)#it would be fine if he had a piece of the cake too with future students. not like he immediately came to this conclusion#and felt not torn and no guilt over it.#took a while to rationalise it and all.#the envy and feelings of inadequacy and a desire for approval and fame just won over after a time#it’s not like he believes he’s better than them he just wants people’s eyes and attention on him so unbelievably bad that’s what he believes#he deserves#and at some point(s) he feels so small that he will do shit like this. he would fake having a terminal illness too lol#he’s just a loser. niles’ story is supposed to be a horror comedy style thing and the majority of the comedy comes from that fact lol#oc: niles#honestly? can relate on the parts of being a loser who is only ever mediocre at something creative they do.#for me i don’t think it’s for the same reasons as niles especially don’t care about fame or shit like that lol#and i obviously don’t steal shit even if my ocd tells me the exact opposite so much#that i actually hesitated to post this because i thought people would assume that i steal too because he’s my character#and your ocs always have a part of yourself in them and what if people found out that i was stealing i just didn’t know and. hi.#can you tell that i’m a fear based writer. i write about my fears. hi#anyways. and then kingmaker and fae mpreg happens. yay
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP!!!!!! PAT SIELOFF IS PREGNANT!!!!!
1. Birthday cake from Sierra and Kelly; 2. Gritty soft serve ice cream cup; 3. Sign for Erik Johnson's 1k celebration; 4. Jersey Devil Christmas tree ornament.
#just got taken very off guard by a big room remix of mozart's lacrimosa and the experience did NOT spark joy#horrible. i keep going back to the playlist it was on and listening to 30 seconds and getting mad all over again#not bc i believe in the sanctity of lacrimosa but bc i don't like it#ko and sierra aren't responding to my messages probably because they are spending quality time with family!!#but EYE do not have quality time with family. and my brain is swiss cheese from too much church#please god let him be a girl dad do not let him have a boy to put into hockey#i mean you can put the girl in hockey but we do NOT need pat sieloff jr (boy) into hockey#pat sieloff continuing proof that every single bone in your body can be broken and you have like negative muscle ligaments#but you can still be so so so so cute and happy with your wife in pictures announcing baby sieloff 🥰🥰#the weather is making me UNWELL. like physically i was not built for this weather i was built for heat not cold#BUT mentally also. please explain to me why i outlined an entire advent liturgy -- all four sundays -- based around hockey#LIKE NOBODY NEEDS A PRAYER OF CONFESSION AROUND HOCKEY#and it fucking WHIPS is the worst part. it was only an outline but if i spent more than 3 hours on it. well someone should a do wellness ch#ck is what should happen. we don't need hockey liturgy no one needs that#the thing is i am so fucking burnt out and just exhausted by all of it (<- what christmas/advent will do to a mfer) but i love#writing liturgy. it's so fun. it's like creative nonfiction#so then i was like well what if i did lent and baseball. which tracks much better yk ending the darkness and the coming light#and then i was like. interesting. what urgent tasks am i avoiding by doing all this. what medication am i not taking#white knuckling it ONE DAY LEFT OF CHURCH NONSENSE AND THEN I CAN ROT IN MY LIVING ROOM FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR#oh my god is it past midnight already i've been working on this post for like two hours and keep getting distracted#if the classical music station played ''mozart's final rave (lacrimosa)'' by oliver heldens at 7am i would certainly get out of bed :/#fresno oilers.txt
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I’m trying soooo hard not to rant to my friends about unfortunately common writing conceptions but I remember that I was once studying to become a literal editor, so I feel justified for a second, and then I’m back to staying my hand because this soap box feels like a face reveal! The face of pretension!!!! Lmao!!!
#I know I’m thinking myself in circles!!!!#aksjsksj#I hadn’t thought of editing (writing) as a career until my creative writing teacher came up to me after class#and was like hey… kid…. you wanna do what you were doing all class for your classmates while making a living??#and I was like 👀?#anyway that likely won’t happen now and I’m much happier with my current studies#but studying it or not it’s because I CANNOT TURN OFF WHEN I READ#I AM UNABLE TO!!!!#it’s about the rhythm of sentences!! pacing!!!#EMOTIONAL pacing too!!!#the tonal difference between minute changes in syntax!!!!#I’m so passionate about it and opinionated wjdjekd#I both want to go on a rant about it and hide lmaooo#anyway#writing#creative writing#ren rambles#ren rants#ren keeps hovering her foot over the soap box and doing a walk away and then a spin back to the box and then back again and
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another random writing event
So I am currently in avoidance mode with my wips and i do t wanna look at them, so i decided to have another random writing event. Below I have a list of 40 random words. If you're interested, please feel free to send in a word and a character and I'll do my best to write a short fic centered around it! If there are any words that are not on the list, feel free to send in one of your own! I may not get to everyone's but I will do as many as I can.
Begrudging
Untruths
Opposites
Trembling
Expectations
Testing
Hypothesis
Indulgence
Recoil
Repose
Brazen
Consequence
Facade
Fragment
Echo
Contradiction
Skeptic
Enthralled
Ambivalence
Dissonance
Subterfuge
Glimmer
Obscured
Nostalgia
Fleeting
Desolate
Revelation
Intrigue
Zenith
Perplexity
Fathom
Resilience
Turbulence
Labored
Solace
Transitory
Temperament
Sway
Frivolity
Nonsense
#my writing#paimonial-rage#writing event#also if it isn’t obvious this is for reader-insert fics lol#for genshin characters#purposefully not tagging this so only my followers see#i will say this tho i am planning on ignoring 9/10 alhaitham prompts bc i am fed up with him#fed up with him and his fans#also i will not be doing every request i get (although i’ll try)#if i get too much of a specific prompt i’ll stop accepting those requests#but i’ll let you guys know if that happens so you can choose another one#don’t be scared of sending in an original prompt too#all i ask is that it’s a one word prompt… or a group of one word prompts#however i do ask that you show a bit of…. creativity#if you send in things like ‘rivals’ ‘soulmates’ ‘enemies’ i will full on ignore them#please don’t send me tropes#i just find them boring#but literally feel free to send in for any character#i don’t discriminate#update: i can’t believe i’m already banning a prompt you guys do know that this prompt was on my last writing event#nobody chose it back then so why is everyone choosing it now? orz
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head hurty
#was up so fucking late last night stressed out of my mind#cause it turns out all the stress and sacrifices i made for the foundational course i took??#all for fucking nothing#''the waitlist hasn't moved.'' yeah cause y'all brought in way more foundations students#than u actually had the diploma course space for#and like. theres nothing else i can fucking do.#if i try to get into a university i'd have to do something like a foundations course all over again#and have to do a bunch of shit i have no interest/talent in in order to get to the stuff i DO have interest/talent in#which is just fucking stupid. why the fuck is it set up like that.#if i'm trying to get into a uni creative writing course why the FUCK do i need to take SCIENCE#and i can't do online courses that are just writing. cause i can't fucking FOCUS in an online course#and any other course i might be interested in are in schools that are too damn far away and that i cant afford#so basically. i can do fucking nothing.#but once i tell my parents that the waitlist hasn't moved and that im definitely not gonna make it in#they're going to start HOUNDING me. even more than they already constantly do#im gonna have to sit through 3 hours of them yelling at me to ''stop pretending to be an idiot'#and to ''pull my life together''#and that ''everyone has to do stuff they don't like sometimes''#(yeah well my brain doesn't work like that. if i dont like the subject of the course i literally CAN'T LEARN)#(i will just straight up not retain any of the information and just be annoyed and stressed and upset the whole time)#and my parents will tell me im gonna end up living under a bridge for the thousandth time#and then they'll threaten to kick me out of the house/take away my internet for the millionth time#and then this will happen every day until i get into SOMETHING
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Genuinely AI and character ai will never replace the absolute joy and excitement of planning out a whole plot and story with potential reactions, ideas, concept, and art with the other person
The people only using character ai really don't know the soul and fun that comes with doing actual roleplay that stays consistent and won't repeat the same sentence/motion a million times over
#also actual roleplaying to me is genuinely so fun if done right#i will always fight and stand by roleplay#especially since its my way to cope project and sometimes enjoy things i never see#also it improves my writing and art a lot because i will get so invested in scenes that I detail them out or even draw it#plus if you really want you can loosely go off what happens in the roleplay to make into a fanfic for others to enjoy (with permission ofc)#roleplay at least for me keeps my mind active and creative too#cai and all that other rp ai bullshit is all the same where it has it all laid out for you to where it basically limits what you wanna do#ive tried to understand and honestly i dont get it#the characters are never accurate its always bland and there's no fun when you don't come up with ideas with another actual person#hell even characterizing the way you want isn't the same with ai bs because you can't really personalize those characters#sorry for the rant i just really like roleplaying#also before anyone argues about it: as long as they're cool with what you want in an rp and you communicate it you can do whatever you want#we're all freaks here and another freak isn't going to judge you unless you're actively breaking their boundaries or making them uncomfy#trust me there's some people i know that will rp anything as long as its not one or two specific things#and theyre really chill and cool btw#like every interaction and relationship with any being: communication is important and the key
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shoutout to the short story I wrote in grade seven which included:
Accidental arsonist Ash Redmothe, whom I was far too vague about when mentioning exactly how they were involved in the arson (I had a really fun time writing them)
Strange wish-granting ghost who speaks in the third person and who I had a really hard time writing because I kept forgetting its pronouns
My signature Anxiety-Having MC who I think was low-key inspired by Moon from WoF
Minor antagonist, who, when I was naming him, I specifically remember translating words into French for and changing the spelling slightly (his name ended up being Culle Vaniteux)
Unnamed background character who was just constantly lying, even when talking directly to a P.I.
#it was so silly#I remember being sad because it was too short and I wasn't able to properly explain why and how the arson actually happened#because we had to keep it around ten paragraphs and unfortunately the CENTRAL PLOT took up too much time :(#I love creative writing#I've been thinking about rewriting this one actually#this is reminding me I should work on all my WIP writing stuff
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Dune fans keep warning people not to read too many Dune books is hilarious because I feel the same way about Ender’s Game. If you think you want to read Speaker for the Dead no you don’t. No you don’t.
Edit: read some of the stuff y’all are saying about Dune and uh never mind. Enderverse is fine.
#leo says shit#it’s not… bad…#I mean like yeah there was almost half sibling incest and the pigs had gay sex at one point and also there was the plot twist#but it’s not /graphic/ it’s just… strange#very creative#the writing and world building are very good it’s just everything that happens in the world is just super fucking weird#and racist as all get out Jesus#if you want to read some truly uncomfortable sci-fi that’s not too out there I recommend Bloodchild by Octavia Butler#it’s got blood it’s got aliens it’s got coerced sex it is nasty and it is thought provoking and I need everyone to read it#it’s super quick you can knock it out in a half hour just don’t read it while eating cuz there’s gore#those were trigger warnings sorry I phrased them like they were a good thing#dune#ender’s game#speaker for the dead
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6 weeks of breathing clean air, I still miss the smoke…..
🏝️🤙🏄🏾♀️🏄🏼♂️💔
#seemed appropriate to use t swift lyrics since I associated so many of her songs with them &haven’t been able to listen to any of them sinc#I don’t even want to say their names#if you know you know#purging them from my life has been depressing as hell#I’m so fucking sick of behind the scenes bullshit ruining my favourite ships#this is the THIRD TIME this has happened to me btw#I’ve genuinely been in mourning#I’m not even exaggerating when I say that finale triggered a days long anxiety attack for me#it’s so ridiculous how something that wasn’t even real caused me to have physical symptoms of distress but it’s true#my heart wouldn’t stop racing. chest was tight. started shaking a few times. felt lightheaded. couldn’t sleep. eating made me sick#it was awful#but now I’ve mostly moved on to anger#I’m angry at a lot of people involved for different reasons#I’m also angry because I’ve lost my inspiration to write#I was solely committed to writing about them the past few years and now that they’re over I have no desire to write for them or another shi#I’m crushed that I’ve lost my joy for writing those ficlets but it’s too painful now. probably always will be tbh#feeling pretty lost creatively…#thank god I made a new friend on here before shit hit the fan#she and I have been venting out our sadness and frustrations together and it’s helped a lot#I hope everyone else in the fandom was able to find support like I did#I know my exit from the fandom was abrupt but I had just finished watching and was reacting purley on raw emotion#but I still think it was my best way to cope with it all#apologies for the rant and to everyone following me who don’t know wtf I’m talkimg about but I was thinking about them today#and I needed to unload a bit#I’m not going to tag anything but I do miss this fandom terribly#I’m still at a point where I don’t want to hear anything about this show or ship ever again… but yeah… I really miss those good times#take me back to the season 3 hype#THIS is the bad place#personal#laura says things
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