#it all goes back to perfectly above-board from here on out

[kj-yikes]

16. Karma

(on ao3 here)

Note: this is unfinished! I had the best of intentions of finishing it in October, but that seems unlikely, so I thought I'd share what I'm happy with.

Lena Luthor appreciates a well-put-together outfit.

Lillian had always expected Lena to dress appropriately, but it wasn't until she met Andrea Rojas at boarding school that Lena understood the power of her clothing. Lena had learned so many things from Andrea — her love of an aged scotch, how to French kiss, and especially, how to perfectly curate an outfit to command a room.

Men pay more attention to well-dressed women, Andrea had told her one day as they got ready to attend a school mixer with college representatives. You can have as many good ideas as you want, but you'll never see them to fruition if no one listen to you. Andrea had looked over at the two outfits Lena held up, and decisively chose the sleek black dress. She had circled behind Lena, pulling the dress up in Lena's hand until it covered Lena's body, allowing Lena to picture what it would look like in the mirror. Then, Andrea's soft hands had slowly gathered her hair until it was in a slick, tight ponytail in her hands. Andrea's face had appeared beside Lena's in the mirror. Give them something to look at, and you'll have a better chance of being listened to.

It had made Lena's cheeks flush furiously, but she took the advice to heart. As her body matured, she noticed the reactions she got to her breasts, to her waist, to the curve of her ass. She learned to accetuate her best features when she needed to grab attention, and to hide them when she needed her ideas to speak for themselves. She learned to dress for success.

Lately, though, Lena's been dressing for revenge.

Despite her falling out with her ex-best friend, Kara Danvers, for some reason, Supergirl keeps making unexpected appearances at L-Corp and her apartment. She thinks at first that Kara is trying to hide her check-ups on Lena. The first few days, all she glimpses of Kara is the edge of a billowing cape or a flash of blue out of the corner of her eye. The next few days, she clearly sees Kara fly by her window. By the third week, Kara has taken to hovering a ways away from the window until Lena makes eye contact.

But eye contact is as far as it ever goes. Lena's eyes meet sad, blue ones, and then Lena goes back to whatever she was doing, until the Super gives up and leaves.

It annoys Lena to no end, the constant watchfulness. Either Kara is trying to keep an eye out for her to make sure nothing happens to her, or she's keeping an eye on her, to make sure she doesn't do anything villainous. Both options make Lena's blood boil. She doesn't need protection, and she's not doing anything wrong.

It's not until Kara's daily visit to her apartment late one night that Lena sees an opportunity. Lena is on the couch, legs spread slightly and elbows resting on her legs, sipping on a glass of scotch and deep in thought, when something moves outside the window. Lena lifts her eyes and sees Supergirl, hovering above her balcony, blue eyes wide and mouth agape.

Lena squints with displeasure and takes another sip of her drink. Kara's eyes seem to follow her movement, then scan up and down her body. Lena watches her throat bob as she swallows hard.

Interesting. Lena takes note of her outfit today. Normally when Kara stops by, she's already in pajamas, but today, Lena had come home late and hadn't changed yet. It had been a while since Lena wore a suit, but she had important meetings today and needed to wield the illusion of authority over the men on the L-Corp board with a well-cut suit and a high ponytail.

Lena knows she looks good. She always looks good. What she didn't know is that Kara thinks so, too.

Lena smirks. Without breaking eye contact, she leans back against the couch and crosses her legs, bringing an arm to rest on the back of the couch. She takes a sip of her scotch, finger rubbing the rim of the glass. Kara's eyes follow the movement hungrily.

Lena takes up space, tries to exude a confidence she doesn't completely feel in the moment. This is Lena's apartment, after all. Kara is the one intruding, and if she's going to sit there, ogling her, Lena knows how to play with her food.

Lena raises an eyebrow as Kara flies closer to the balcony door. Kara's cheeks are almost as red as her cape. She reaches for the door handle, then thinks better of it. As Lena continues staring at her, Kara seems to hesitate, and then not a moment later, she's gone.

Lena finally has a line of defense against Kara's unwanted presence. Over the next few days, she pulls out the best of her perfectly-tailored suits. Each night, she watches as Kara's eyes roam the sleek and sumptuous curves of her body in a three-piece suit before flying away with a frown.

Lena doesn't think she's doing anything wrong. Kara is the one dropping by her house unnanounced, and it's her body. She can wear whatever she wants. If her choice of outfits makes Kara feel things, well, that's just karma, isn't it? If Kara wanted her, maybe she should have told Lena the truth rather than lie to her over and over every day since Kara set foot in her office for the first time.

And if Lena's thoughts drift to Kara's hungry expression as Lena slides her hand into her underwear each night laying alone in her bed, no one else has to know that but Lena.

She thinks about what it would be like to feel the force of a Kryptonian in bed, what it would feel like to watch Kara kneel before her and ease the clasp of her slacks open, what her name would sound like falling from Kara's desperate mouth. She pictures strong hands ripping her vest open and soft lips marking her collarbone, and it makes her heart ache and her fists clench angrily.

Somehow, the knowledge that Kara might want her like that makes Lena even more desperate for revenge. They could have had it all. Kara could have told her the truth, and they could have had what they both wanted. Instead, all Lena can do is use her best assets to make Kara regret what she chose to throw away and hope that the Kryptonian will finally learn some sense and leave her alone.

But Kara doesn't stay away. Kara stays longer on her daily check-ins. Kara hovers, the kicked puppy dog look replaced by a hungry longing. Kara stares, for minutes at a time, following Lena's movements like a jungle cat waiting to pounce.

Lena knows if she closes the curtains, she'd be admitting defeat. She knows if she opens the balcony door, she'll open herself up to words, to a conversation, to inevitable heartbreak. So she keeps the curtains open and the door shut and the suits fitted and tight and eventually, Kara leaves.

Until one night, she doesn't.

[justlymine]

ok, as requested, here's my new and improved topper.

key features:

removable by just lifting up (for the every-other-month full cleaning)

bottom edge has a lip to keep it from sliding off of tank sideways

tall enough to fit wheels

and most important, wide front panel is hinged so i can easily reach in and wipe out wheels and scoop sand baths and change water every day

it is made out of beechwood branches (gerbil safe) because i couldnt afford to buy more poplar wood. the other random wood boards that you see are all exterior only, so the gerbils cant get to them.

the screen is 20 gauge 1/2" hardware mesh. (heads up you might want to use 1/4" as when they kick up bedding it goes right through the 1/2" mesh, argh)

basically, it looks works like this:

and the corners are held together with brackets like this:

(if you are worried about chewing you can wrap the hardware mesh around and over the inside wood, as shown by the purple arrow in picture.)

so, as you see in the above picture you can add the hardware mesh sandwiched between parts of the frame. i did not do this; instead i built the frame and then wrapped the mesh around the outside. either will work.

here's what the bracket looks like on mine:

if you need to secure the mesh to the frame with more screws, use washers, like so (i didnt have washers that were wide enough while also having a small enough hole, so i stacked a small one over a big one)

then i added thin strips of wood to the outer lower edge, that hung down over the top lip of the tank (this keeps the topper from sliding off the tank if i bump it) i added these strips to 3 sides. i didnt need to add them to the front because i made the front door flap long enough to overlap the tank lip.

now for the front door panel.

basically, you just make 2 rectangles of wood that cover the front opening, sandwich wire mesh between them, screw it all together, and add hinges at the top. (here's the two layers)

(i also added a strip of wood to the branch making the top front of the cage, to make a more even and level surface to attach the hinges to.)

i wanted hinges that would open more than 180 degrees, so i could fold the front panel up and over to rest on the top of the cage (this didnt end up an option for me as the branch i used on the top wasnt perfectly straight, so it blocked the front panel from folding back all the way. if you use regular lumber this wont be a problem.

it can be hard to find hinges like that, as they all come packaged in plastic now for some reason, so you cant test them. i found some called "fast fix hinges" that worked. they looked like this

then i added these latches to hold the door closed. they are called "hasp and staple." the wood block is just to raise the staple to the same level as the hasp on the door.

to keep them shut you can stick anything in the hole of the staple that wont fall through, or put a sturdy clip on it. whatever. (im actually using plastic forks haha)

and that's it!

a few more pictures, (im proud of using natural bends of the branches to make some cross braces to make it stronger) and another of the final project

[gentil-minou]

wlw wangxian for @wlwangxianweek

Day 1 - In Over My Head (aka short girl Wei Ying being in over her head with her crush on the tall new girl Lan Zhan)

Wei Ying has sat in the second row from the front of the board since the very first day of school. It was the perfect spot, actually. Right next Mianmian and in front of her brother so maximum annoyance potential. Perfect. Best of all, no one sits in front of her, which is soooo important because no one tells you how awful being the shortest girl in your grade is until you're trying to see over their dumb big heads so she can see what the teacher's writing.

As long as they don't elbow her (though if they do, Wei Ying is much stronger than she looks. She can take them These thighs are all muscle, baby), she's peachy keen. Even when assholes like Wen Chao try to make fun of her, being this short gives her the perfect angle to look down at his crotch, frown, and say, "Wow, I'm so sorry. I think you can get surgery to fix that." Before running away cackling. She's fast, and these lumbering idiots will never catch up to her anyways, hehe.

So Wei Ying is feeling pretty damn good about everything, until the new girl walks into their homeroom.

She's laughing at something Nie Huaisang said and so isn't entirely paying attention until their teacher draws their attention. When she turns around, all she can see is the back of someone very, very tall, with incredibly long hair that goes all the way down their back.

Shiny and silky, the kind she'd seen in hair commercials, with the shower running overhead and soap streaming down a stranger's body…

Wow, Wei Ying must be envious. She's always liked her messy waves, but maybe it's just that she's interested in growing her hair out and straitening it or something.

Anyways, that's not the most important thing here. The most eye-catching thing about this new kid is how incredible tall she is. Like, almost reaching the top of the blackboard, taller than most of the boys tall. Wei Ying's head would probably wouldn't even reach her shoulders.

"So cool…" she whispers, subconsciously. Jiang Cheng elbows her to quiet down and she yelps, "Hey!" which unfortunately draws everyone's attention to her, including the new girl.

And…oh. Wow. New girl isn't just tall. She's so pretty. Model pretty. Pretty pretty.

Wei Ying's struck dumb by the way New Girl fixes an intense gaze on her, peering above wire-rimmed glasses with eyes honey-brown and lashes long enough the must brush against her glasses all the time. She's staring at her, well, glaring at her more like, but wow, Wei Ying doesn't mind at all.

She gulps as her eyes trails down the side of New Girl's perfectly sloped nose, down to thick plump lips that are pursed in a frown and just…ah, her throat feels parched.

Wei Ying has never cared much about other people's bodies before. She's touched herself, of course, but she hasn't had more than a peripheral interest in others. Her breasts are small and she's perfectly fine with them. The rest of her female friends are a bit larger than her, but it's never been much of big deal for her. She changes in front of them all the time and there's never been even the smallest hint of anything more untoward.

Now, she can't look away. She doesn't think she wants to.

New Girl's breasts are…incredible. Wow. She buttons her shirt all the way to the top, but she must have the wrong size or something because one of the buttons is stretched a bit and Wei Ying can just barely make out the lace edge of her—

Mianmian clears her throat beside her.

Oh. Wei Ying was staring. With her mouth wide open in an o. And standing up over the desk to lean forwards on the palm of her hands.

Oh.

Wei Ying drags her gaze back up to New Girls face and…yup, New Girl's glare is 1000% times worse now. But her ears are also tinged pink, peaking through strands of her long hair.

It's cute…really cute. She's super cute. Yeah.

"Wei Ying?" the teacher asks, "Are you perhaps volunteering to guide Lan Zhan around the school?"

"Huh?" Wei Ying says around her still dry throat, the name echoing in her head. A pretty name for a pretty girl. Wow.

She's a bit speechless still, but Jiang Cheng elbows her again and that seems to do the trick, fixing whatever got dislodged from her brain, and sending her back into high gear.

Yeah, she can totally show New Girl— Lan Zhan, wow, around! She's great at that.

She beams her brightest grin across the classroom, and okay Lan Zhan just frowns more but somehow that just makes her even prettier. "I'd be happy to!"

"Wonderful," their teacher says, amused. "Lan Zhan you may take a seat in front of Wei Ying then and she will give you a tour around the school after class."

Lan Zhan nods and walks over, except it almost seems like she glides over, the ends of her long uniform-issued skirt swishing around her ankles revealing plain white socks and matching shoes. It should be ridiculous but with the way her hair fans out behind her just makes her look ethereal. Wei Ying can almost imagine the sparkles that would follow in her wake.

Lan Zhan stops in front of her new desk and glances at Wei Ying, who smiles back up at her, all friendly and everything so she feels super welcome. Lan Zhan's face doesn't change at all, just gives her an impassive look before she sits down and...

Oh. That's a problem.

She blocks the board…Wei Ying can't see at all.

Normally, Wei Ying wouldn't think twice about telling someone to move their big head…except Lan Zhan doesn't have a big head.

Her head is small and perfect actually, and her hair slides over her shoulder and it's taking everything Wei Ying has in her to not touch it and see just how soft it is….but that's not the point. She can't see, and she's feeling so hot and flustered by it for some reason she doesn't know what to do at all.

Then, almost as if she can read her mind, Lan Zhan glances at her and, seeming to understand, shifts to the side so Wei Ying can see perfectly just around her shoulder.

Wei Ying smiles at her and taps her shoulder to say thank you, earning a static shock that's electrifying and sends sparks down her spine to pool in something low and deep within her.

Lan Zhan nods again, eyes cast and demure, and turns back to the board.

It's worked. Wei Ying can see the board again perfectly. So even if the new girl is kinda mean-looking, she's kind. The realization makes Wei Ying's heart flutter and her cheeks turn an embarassing pink. She tucks her chin into her hands, palms at her cheeks hoping her cool skin can relieve some of the heat.

But there's a new problem now. With the way Lan Zhan is sitting now, towards the side and angled a bit as she jots down notes with perfect penmanship, Wei Ying can study her profile. An unobstructed view.

It's very distracting, she can't focus on anything the teacher is saying, at all.

A very pretty distraction. Oh dear.

TBC

(threadfic here)

[sarah-cam]

What other songs on TTPD do you think are Bonrad??

okay i’ll do what i did for 1989 so this list goes from 'the entire song fits them so perfectly it hurts' to 'most/some of the song fits but i'm still sobbing' to 'this specific lyric punched me in the face'

most of these are about their break-up era re: conrad’s self-sabotaging and belly’s inability to get over conrad while she’s with someone else… also tbh much of this album is more 🪼 with all of the allusions to cheating and toxic relationships lmao

the alchemy, so high school, fresh out the slammer, guilty as sin, i hate it here, i look in people’s windows, fortnight, the tortured poets department, the albatross, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, the prophecy, down bad, so long london

once again choosing the best lyrics from each

1. the alchemy

This happens once every few lifetimes These chemicals hit me like white wine What if I told you I'm back? The hospital was a drag, worst sleep that I ever end I circled you on a map I haven't come around in so long But I'm making a comeback to where I belong Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me Honestly, who are we to fight the alchemy?

2. so high school

I feel so high school every time I look at you I wanna find you in a crowd just to hide from you And in a blink of a crinkling eye I'm sinking, our fingers entwined Cheeks pink in the twinkling lights Tell me 'bout the first time you saw me No one's ever had me, not like you You knew what you wanted and boy you got her

3. fresh out the slammer

But it's gonna be alright, I did my time Now pretty baby I'm runnin' back home to you Fresh out the slammer, I know who my first call will be to As I said in my letters, now that I know better I will never lose my baby again All those nights you kept me going Swirled you into all of my poems Now we're at the starting line, I did my time Now pretty baby I'm running to the house you still wait up and that porch light gleams To the one who says I'm the girl of his American dreams And no matter what I've done, it wouldn't matter anyway Ain't no way I'm gonna screw up now that I know what's at stake Here at the park where we used to sit on children's swings wearing imaginary rings

4. guilty as sin?

What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind One slip and falling back into the hedge maze, oh what a way to die I keep recalling things we never did Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name Building up like waves crashing over my grave Without ever touching his skin How can I be guilty as sin? If it's make believe Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow? What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long suffering propriety is what they want from me They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly I choose you and me, religiously

5. i hate it here

All you'll ever be is my eternal consolation prize You see I was a debutant in another life but now I seem to be scared to go outside If comfort is a construct, I don't believe in good luck Now that I know what's what I hate it here (jeremy) so I will go to secret gardens (conrad) in my mind I'm there most of the year 'cause I hate it here I'm lonely but I'm good, I'm bitter but I swear I'm fine I'll save all my romanticism for my inner life and I'll get lost on purpose This place made me feel worthless Lucid dreams like electricity, the currents flies through me And in my fantasies I rise above it And way up there, I actually love it

6. i look in people’s windows

I had died the tiniest death, I spied the catch in your breath North bound I got carried away as you boarded your train south A feather taken by the wind blowing I'm afflicted by the not knowing You had stopped and tilted your head, I still ponder what it meant now I tried searching faces on streets, what are the chances you'd be downtown? Does it feel alright to not know me? I'm addicted to the "if only" I look in people's windows in case you're at their table What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time

7. fortnight

And for a fortnight there we were forever Run into you sometime, ask about the weather Now you're in my backyard, turned into good neighbors Your wife waters flowers, I wanna kill her And for a fortnight there we were together Run into you sometimes, comment on my sweater Now at you're at my mailbox, turned into good neighbors My husband is cheating, I wanna kill him I love you, it's ruining my life I touched you for only a fortnight

8. the tortured poets department

But you're in self-sabotage mode Throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you? Sometimes I wonder if you're gonna screw this up with me So tell me, who else is gonna know me? At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finder And put it on the one people put wedding rings on And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding

9. the albatross (role-reversal)

They tried to warn him her about her him Cross your thoughtless heart, only liquor anoints you She's He's the albatross, she he is here to destroy you So I crossed my thoughtless heart, spread my wings like a parachute I'm the albatross, I swept in at the rescue The devil that you know looks now more like an angel I'm the life you chose and all this terrible danger

10. my boy only breaks his favorite toys

Oh, here we go again, the voices in his head Called the rain to end our days of wild My boy only breaks his favorite toys I'm queen of sand castle he destroys He saw forever so he smashed it up Just say when, I'd play again He was my best friend, down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend than with all the kens Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart Left all these broken parts Told me I'm better off, but I'm not

11. the prophecy

Hand on the throttle, thought I caught lightning in a bottle Oh, but it's gone again And it was written, I got cursed like Eve got bittem Oh, was it punishment? Oh, still dream of him

12. down bad

Show me that this world is bigger than us Then sent me back where I came from For a moment I knew cosmic love Now I'm down bad crying at the gym

13. so long london

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days

bonus🪼: florida!!! (belly burying herself in her new relationship), i can fix him (no really i can) (spoiler alert no she can’t), the smallest man who ever lived (cheater alert!!), chloe or sam or sophia or marcus (cheater alert!!), the black dog (cheater alert!!)

[wozman23]

The Best of Not-E3: Summer Game Fest

I'm still bummed that E3 is no more. I moved out to LA shortly before its demise and thought I'd have plenty of time to attend the event. Yet here we are, in this post-E3 world, with glimpses of the joys of the past like that with Xbox Showcase, and plenty of lulls, like with practically everything else. I think the world of gaming is in a weird place. Development costs are unsustainable. I've said time and time again that the “bigger is better” trend has be ruining games and stifling creativity for over a decade now. Games take way to long to make these day, and the risk is not often worth the reward. Indie games have rebelled against that trend, but all the unique, fun B tier games that used to occupy the space in between are either dead, dying, or under duress. Still, gaming is one of my biggest hobbies, and I can't help but be excited about what is to come the next few years, even if those experiences feel fewer and farther between.

Best Announcement: Alan Wake II: Night Springs DLC

It's no secret that I'm a massive fan of Alan Wake. Don't believe me - look at my last post. So the events started on a high note with Remedy's studio lead, Sam Lake, making another trip from Finland to LA to announce the Night Springs DLC. Seeing him dance his way out on stage put a smile on my face. I was giddy. And then announcing that the DLC would be out the next day came as a surprise. I just finished up the last game I was playing yesterday, and I'm so excited to hop back into the warped, insanely creative world of Alan Wake. I can't get enough of it. I want to see what vision Sam and the team have for where the franchise goes next. And I want to continue to try to string together my own theories about Alan, his story, and how he intertwines with the Remedy Connected Universe. As much as I could easily fall back into my psychosis and make this post about how that announcement was the “Game of the Show” for me, I want to shine some light on the little guys.

Best Indie: Screenbound

The second announcement to blow me away was the indie game Screenbound. It's such a cool concept! And the art style looks so great. I love puzzle-y platforming games, and it looks to mix both genres well. It reminds me a lot of one of my favorites from last year, Viewfinder, which was also love at first sight. And before that there was Toodee and Topdee, which merged 2D and top down game play perfectly. In each of these game's cases, they immediately stood out as games that were looking to take me on experiences that I'd never been on before. Viewfinder and Toodee and Topdee were two of my most anticipated games, and in the end they were my Indie GOTYs the years for those years. Lets hope Screenbound follows in their footsteps.

Best of Show: South of Midnight

I remember looking forward to Contrast from Compulsion Games. We Happy Few was lost on me. But when they showed off their teaser trailer for South of Midnight at last year's Xbox Showcase, I was interested thanks to the rich atmosphere. Now we got a better look at it, with a fleshed out world, some interesting characters, and some game play, and it shot up my Most Anticipated list. I've always been fascinated by the Cajun accent. In almost every case, a heavy accent is a distraction for me. I've always joked that if someone has a noticeable accent, I assume they're dumb. Southern, New Yorkers and New Jersey-ers, all those weird Chicago/Mid-west/Wisconsin/Minnesota accents – all a bunch of dummies. But that Cajun and Creole accent rises above the rest. And here, it is on full display as a love letter to Louisiana. The second that massive catfish showed up, I was sold. He looks cool. He talks cool. He's just cool. This trailer had a lot to take in. A massive gator. Cool looking traversal options. That really cool, stop motion-like animation style. I'm so on board for this one! Apparently it's been drawing a lot of comparisons to Kena: Bridge of Spirits, both good and bad, but I loved that game to death as well, so bring on all the comparisons! I'm always a bit scared when a developer gets acquired by Microsoft. We've seen the ugly side of that with the closure of Tango Gameworks, fresh off their best game Hi-Fi RUSH. And while I applaud Microsoft for their approach with Game Pass, bringing all of their games to the platform on Day 1, I question how profitable that is, and how they decide what is a success and what isn't. And I find it absurd that I can still stream everything via my outdated Xbox One without the pressure to upgrade to a Series X. (Although I recently found my first sacrifice: In Senua's Saga: Hellblade II I couldn't use photo mode since Cloud users stream the PC version which doesn't have a dedicated in-game button for screenshots. But that seems like a small sacrifice to make considering I that by working some gift card deals I just gave them like $150 to play everything they release for the next 3 years.)

Outside of the Xbox Conference, and the initial Summer Game Fest salvo with Geoff, there wasn't much to be excited about. And while Sony did have a show a little while ago – that would have been abysmal if not for Astro Bot – I'd have liked to see more this weekend. I've been critical of Xbox for quite some time now, but they really knocked it out of the park this weekend, at least in terms of putting on a good show. I just renewed my PS+ yesterday, but I feel like I get far more value from Game Pass.

Honorable Mentions:

Doom: The Dark Ages – I loved Doom (2016). Eternal lost me a bit, largely in part due to that one pain in the ass enemy type that felt like it didn't mesh with the series' core ideas of fast, action-packed, brutal game play. Going to the Dark Ages is a really cool twist, and the shield looks like it will be a ton of fun!

Indiana Jones: The Great Circle – I've never seen any of the films. But this feels like a first person, spiritual successor to Uncharted, which I know is a bit odd since the former inspired the latter. And more Uncharted-likes with giant, dynamic set pieces are fine by me.

Deer & Boy – I love cinematic sidescrollers. This one looked so gorgeous and cute. Nothing more needs to be shown for me to add it to the heap of cinematic sidescrollers I'm anticipating. Some join the Pantheon of Greats among the Playdead games, Little Nightmares, and a few others. Others fly too close to the sun. Let us hope this one can keep up with the gods.

Atomfall – Fallout 76 got some new content or something. But I'm over it. Move on. Give me Fallout 5. Atomfall could fill that gap much like Atomic Heart tried to. Let's just hope it strays closer to Fallout in game play than it does to Atomic Heart in namesakes since it was a pretty big letdown when I played it at launch.

ASTRO BOT – The dissolution of Sony's Japan Studio was disheartening. They made some great games over the years. One of my favorites being the criminally underappreciated Puppeteer at the end of the PS3's life cycle. It was such a creative piece of art. The amount of love that went into shaping its world, aesthetic, characters, bosses, levels, and game play variety was absurd. It felt like they out-Nintendoed Nintendo. The game sold so poorly that I believe I may have bought the only copy. From there, Japan Studio went on to make a few Astro Bot demo experiences for PlayStation VR, then fleshed out a terrific full game, ASTRO BOT: Rescue Mission, then baked ASTRO's Playroom into the PS5. All were brilliant platformer experiences that Sony needs more of. So it was bittersweet when it was announced that most of Japan Studio was being shuttered, with the only remaining team being ASTRO BOT's Team ASOBI. ASTRO BOT and Puppeteer seem to share a lot of the same design philosophy. They're super creative and feature some really great boss design. I have to assume that some of the developers who worked on Puppeteer are still working on ASTRO BOT. And I'm really grateful for their contributions. Sadly, outside of this, most of the big Sony studios are in between games right now. We really don't know when Naughty Dog will release something next. Marvel's Wolverine probably still needs some time to cook. Sucker Punch's future is unknown. And the same could be said for countless others like Santa Monica and Housemarque. Usually I walked away from E3s and Not-E3s really excited about what's on the horizon – oohh, we don't know what Guerrilla is doing... what's on the horizon for Sony and wondering what the heck Xbox is doing. But this year they pulled a complete switcharoo. Also the Lego Horizon game could be fun. Let's throw it in this category.

[supersetfiction]

F-Week & G-Week - Flight Path and Ghost 16/10/23-29/10/23

This isn't my greatest one I've written. It was such a struggle to come up with what to write. I feel like I had a good idea, but the words weren't coming and it was just really difficult for me to write anything good. I hope that I do better the coming weeks.

The roar from the engine was deafening in the cockpit where David sat wrestling with the controls of the ship. The more he struggled to right his ship, the more it threw it off balance. The atmosphere of this planet was nothing like earth. It was heavier and it was bringing him closer to the surface.

As he sped towards the ground, he started to lose consciousness. His thinking became sluggish and doing anything to stop himself from passing out seemed to him a colossal mountain that he couldn’t quite start to climb.

----------

“We’ve followed your work since your work on the black hole incident on Turin IV and feel you’d be most qualified. We think you might be exactly who we’re looking for.” Two men sat opposite David. The younger of the two had rattled off David’s accomplishments as a scientist and linguist.

“Is that so? Because up ‘til now you’ve only shown me that you’ve done your homework. You haven’t told me anything about the job.” David leant back in his chair and regarded to the men carefully.

“You better get talking quickly, or I’m walking out of here.” He left the question hang in the air for a moment. The two other men opposite him looked at each other unsure why to do.

The younger man started, but the other man cut him off before he could continue. “We believe that there is a sliver of hope for the retrieval of a man who has gone out past the last settled colony. You may know him from your training on Mars, Commander Owen Hoey. We need you to head into the outer reaches past the colonies and investigate a potential message sent from Commander Hoey. His last known location and message was from the colony orbiting Enceladus. We haven’t heard anything from his since and have assumed the worst.”

“What did the message say?”

The man reached into his coat and pulled out a flat silver disc. As he placed the disc on the table between them, he pressed a button on the side and the image of Commander Hoey appeared above it. The audio crackled for a moment before Hoey spoke.

“This is my last message for the foreseeable future. My name is Commander Owen Hoey and I am currently 1300 kilometers from the Enceladus colony and travelling further out in search for what I believe is a relic in deep space from the days of the old Earth. If I find this facility I will collect as much data as I can and return to Enceladus to upload. God willing I will return and you will hear from me again. Commander Owen Hoey, signing off.”

The image shut off and the man replaced the disc into his coat.

“Will you go and find Commander Hoey, David?”

David looked down not saying anything.

“How long will I be gone?”

“That’s hard to say. At a minimum, it could be two years. One year to the origin of the response, and one year back to earth. That’s if everything goes perfectly. It could be longer. That’s the risk you’d be taking.”

David sat thinking. It was a long time to be isolated and lonely. There would be no one to talk to and most of his time would be spent in cyrosleep dreaming his life away. It would be the chance of a lifetime to travel out to the furthest reaches were no one had ever been before. The information he could collect and things he could learn would be incredible. It was a difficult decision he had to make.

“I’ll do it.”

-----

“The plan is simple enough in theory. All you need to do is take this shuttle to the Interplanetary terminal orbiting earth. From there you board the solo shuttle and take the year long journey out to Enceladus. It would be wise to use the cryosleep to pass the year. A year in isolation is not healthy, and sleeping will help with that. The ship will auto pilot and send back to us periodic updates.” The younger man had said over the headpiece as David boarded the transport shuttle. 

David sat in the tight seat in the ship, buckled and ready to leave. He adjusted in his seat and found little room to move. (The trip shouldn’t take too long. It’s just three hours. I can sleep it.)

The ship rumbled to a start and soon after he was thrust into the atmosphere. Being so tightly packed made David feel more comfortable, that he wasn’t being thrown around as the ship sped further into space. The rumbling stopped and David found it easier to close his eyes and sleep.

-----

Upon getting to the Interplanetary terminal he was led from his gate to a private section of the terminal where his shuttle was waiting to take him to Enceladus. A terminal employee walked him through the ship and functions. The ship wasn’t big. It didn’t need to be, but there was enough space to walk around and house functions like a dining room, shower, treadmill, and lounge. (A year alone is a long time. I hope it doesn’t make me too stir crazy in here.)

After the tour, the terminal employee left, and David made his preparations to leave. The shuttle was ready for him to launch, The computer was locked on Enceladus, and the latest maps were loaded to avoid any damage to the ship en route.

David was finally ready to make his trip to Enceladus and find his friend Owen in the deep reaches of space.

[forestwater87]

Secret Santa 2019, Ch. 3

July 8, 2016

7:29 PM

“Ohh, goodness.” David clutched his hands close to his chest, eyes darting around them as they crossed the near-empty parking lot toward Muffin Tops. He huddled closer to Jasper’s side despite the oppressive heat. “Oh my gosh.”

“Will you fucking chill?” Gwen snapped, David’s nervousness clearly getting to her as well. “It’s not like you’re gonna be up on stage.”

“Okay, but I vote we get him up there at the first opportunity,” Jasper cut in, smiling despite the fact that he was feeling pretty weird himself. It wasn’t like he normally took his friends to strip clubs in his spare time, after all. He wasn't that kind of guy (namely, a frat bro or the President). “I bet we could talk Bon into it if the place is dead enough.”

David’s fingers dug into his sleeve, hard enough to drag blunt painful lines down his arm. “Don’t!” he cried, once again glancing around.

Jasper leaned in and kissed David’s temple, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “It’s all good,” he assured him. “And none of our campers are local this year, so you don’t have to keep worrying about parents seeing us.”

“I’m not . . .” He trailed off, seeming to realize that it wasn’t worth trying to lie. His shoulders slumped defeatedly as Jasper ushered them into Muffin Tops. “Thank you,” he murmured, slipping inside, and he knew it wasn’t just for holding the door.

“Always,” he replied, and they fell into step behind Gwen. 

Or -- took a few steps, then immediately stopped because she had faltered to a halt, looking around the dim, noisy space with a panicked look in her eyes.

He leaned in close to David’s ear and said, “Remember Davey, we’re being supportive.”

His eyes widened and he stood upright with a start, like he’d just been caught falling asleep in the middle of a camp activity. “Oh! You’re right!” He pulled away from Jasper, bouncing up to Gwen’s side. “Where should we sit, CBFL?” he chirped; his enthusiasm was a little too child-friendly for this situation, but Jasper watched, impressed, as David led her to a booth near the back of the club with the determined good-naturedness of a sheepdog, settling her in and immediately hopping up to get drinks. “Would you like anything, Jasp?”

“Beer’s fine. Literally whatever’s closest.” He took a seat across from Gwen, and for a moment they both watched David disappear into the gloom. “Doing okay, sport?” he asked; they both winced at his profound dorkiness, but he tried to shake it off. “You look nice.”

She chuckled self-consciously, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “You sure?” For once they didn’t have to wear their counselors’ uniforms, and Gwen had blown her hair up like a 60s soap opera star and done . . . something to her face; Jasper wasn’t sure what, but it kind of made her look like a magazine cover version of herself. (If he’d ever managed to get his face to look like that, he’d probably stare into a mirror until he died of starvation like Narcissus. He resolved to look up men’s makeup later, just for the hell of it -- even though he’d probably come across more like an overweight vampire than David Bowie.) They’d had to talk her out of calling the whole thing off when she’d emerged from her room looking dressier than Jasper and David combined, but in the flashing colors and low light of the club Gwen looked infinitely more like she belonged than Jasper did in his vintage -- which was really a nice way to say “old and kind of trashy” -- technicolor clothes and David’s impossibly wrinkle-free polo shirt and jeans.

Jasper suddenly realized how improbable the three of them looked together, like they came from different planets. A supermodel, a Mormon missionary, and a sentient pile of thrift-store rejects walk into a strip club . . .

“Gwen,” he said sincerely, “I would bet a hundred bucks you could take anyone in here home if you wanted to.”

She snorted, looking pleased despite herself. “And yet it’ll just be you two.”

He leaned back, grinning. “I know,” he agreed, catching sight of David weaving through the tables, which were finally starting to fill up. “Aren’t you lucky?”

David set their drinks down with the grace of a bartender (which he was, the rest of the year) and slid into the booth next to Jasper. “Well, Gwen,” he said, folding his hands on the table like he was going to pray, “what do you think?”

She froze with her glass halfway to her mouth, eyes wide and wary. “About what?”

“All this, of course!” He gestured around the room, where a steady stream of people were picking their way through the tables scattered like islands through the low warehouse; where women, wearing glittery scraps of nothing that caught the lights like fireflies, were ferrying drinks to and from the bar and flirting with apparent regulars. No one was onstage at the moment, but there was an expectant hum underneath the pounding music, and two poles were lit up by spotlights. “Where should we begin?”

“Begin . . . what?” Gwen glanced over at Jasper, looking like she was regretting every recent decision. He shrugged, thinking that maybe David was being too supportive now and wondering if he could possibly tone that shit down before something really stupid happened.

The sunshine drained from David’s face slightly, and he also turned to Jasper. “Gee, I don’t know.”

They were both looking at him, and he groaned. “Well, I don’t know either! Pretty sure the only place I’ve ever been like this was some . . . furry vore land in Second Life. That was a weird afternoon -- remind me to tell you about it later,” he added to Gwen, winking. “Why don’t we just ask Bon?”

David’s face brightened as Gwen’s paled. “We so don’t need to --”

“What a neat idea, Jasp! Come on!” David leapt to his feet, taking Jasper’s hand before giving Gwen an appraising look. “. . . On second thought, maybe you should wait here. With . . .” He widened his eyes, jerking his head in her direction with all the subtlety of Groucho Marx.

Jasper reminded himself to never allow his boyfriend to consider a career in espionage. “What exactly are you expecting me to do? Tackle her if she makes a break for it?”

David either didn’t hear this comment or chose to ignore it, turning away with a wave and a cheery “Be right back!” before diving back into the growing crowd. Jasper just sighed and lifted his beer, clinking it against the drink Gwen had set down on the table.

“Cheers.” When she didn’t respond, slumping back in the booth like she was going to disappear under the table, he placed his hand on her forearm. She jumped at the sudden touch, nearly knocking her glass over, and with his beer-laden arm he gingerly slid it out of her reach. “What gives, Gwengarry Gwen Ross? I thought you liked Bon.”

The dumb nickname didn’t make her smile. “I mean, I do,” she said with a miserable shrug. “But of all the people here to talk to about this? After that play disaster?”

He winced at the memory. During one of Preston’s earliest plays of the summer, Max had stolen Gwen’s phone and changed everything from her “Looking For” (all genders, “anything as long as it’s nasty”) to her photo (Neil, who was at that age where boys kind of looked like gangly, awkward young women in the right light) and had snagged the attention of one of the few eligible townies in Sleepy Peak. That debacle had ended in an extremely awkward date between Gwen and Bonquisha Harding, a woman with the body of a pro wrestler and the personality of a monster truck. They were pretty good friends now -- and the four of them got together every few weeks to watch old movies -- but he could see why it might be uncomfortable to chat with her ex about lap dances or . . . whatever.

“I mean, I told her I was straight! And now what? Like, is she gonna think I’m stalking her at work?” Her eyes widened in horror. “Oh fuck, what if she thinks I want to go out with her or something? Or what if she thinks I don’t wanna go out with her? We decided this wouldn’t work because I was straight! And if I’m not? That’s so insulting! What if --”

“Breathe, Rumpelstiltsgwen.” She glared at him -- he had to admit, it wasn’t his best work -- and he handed over her drink along with his beer. “I think you need this more than I do.” She took both drinks, finishing them in record time, and despite the situation he was impressed. “You must’ve been fun in college.”

She snorted, glancing over Jasper’s shoulder and swallowing hard. He turned to see David scurrying back to their table, dwarfed by the beautiful gold-glittery amazon at his side. “H -- hi, Bon,” she said weakly as they approached.

“Hey, sugar!” Bonquisha kissed the air next to Gwen’s cheek and settled into the booth. She was wearing a shimmering bikini-type-thing (he wasn’t very good with women’s clothing) that reminded him of Princess Leia, and sparkles were splashed across her cheekbones and shoulders like freckles made of stars. “It’s fantasy night,” she explained at his curious look, hoisting up a fake spear before turning her attention back to Gwen. “Hear you’re looking to join the other team?”

Gwen buried her face in her hands with a groan, sinking down into her chair. “Don’t say it like that.”

“Aw, come on! It’s a great place to be!” Bon spread her arms across the back of their seat and grinned at Jasper and David, a wide, expansive smile that was impossible not to return. “Right, guys?”

David looked like he wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so Jasper jumped in: “Bonnaroo, I think Gwen’s a little nervous about how to . . . you know . . .” He raised his eyebrows, not sure how to explain what exactly they were here for. “Do it. Not -- not it, but like . . . stuff. All of it. I should stop talking.”

She laughed. “Don’t worry, Gloomy,” she said to Gwen, flicking her ponytail affectionately, “we get a lotta women like that coming around here, so all the girls know it’s standard procedure. This is a good place to figure yourself out.” 

Gwen had been staring steadfastly at the table, but glanced over at Bonquisha, the corner of her mouth lifting. “Really?” she asked hopefully.

“Totally! Now, I gotta get back to work because they don’t pay me to pal around with my friends --” She winked. “-- but start by just looking, all right? You two,” she added, pointing at Jasper and David (who glanced at each other with some alarm), “you’re Gwen’s straight friends tonight, got it?”

Jasper suddenly felt like he needed a snapback and a sports jersey, maybe a shark-tooth necklace. “Guess we should get more beer,” he said to David, shrugging. “The more it tastes like horse pee, the better.”

“My man!” Bon held out her fist, and Jasper bumped it (feeling like the single whitest person on earth as he did so). “I’m due up onstage now or I’d get your drinks for ya. Tip Brandi well, she’s good people.” She put a hand on Gwen’s shoulder, her smile softening. “I’m proud of you, gloomy girl. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, okay? Just have fun.”

As David escorted Bonquisha to the stage on his way back to the bar, Jasper studied Gwen’s face. She wasn’t on the verge of a panic attack, which was good, but she still seemed to have trouble looking away from the small tea light in the center of the table. 

He supposed this was where his role as “straight friend” came in. “Uhh . . . she’s cute,” he finally said, glancing across the room at a woman decked out like a mermaid, complete with shimmering waves of black hair and a blue-green tail . . . skirt . . . thing (he really wasn’t good with women’s clothing) and feeling like the single skeeviest person on earth. 

Which . . . was probably good, considering where they were. He was in character.

She glanced up, following his gaze to the mermaid in question. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Not really my type, though.” She covered her mouth as a sharp, nervous laugh bubbled out of her. “What the hell am I saying? I don’t have a type. I . . . god, what the fuck am I doing . . .”

“Hey,” Jasper said, leaning forward so she had to look at him instead of spiraling further. “It’s me, brah, your straight friend Jasper.” She snorted, some of the panic fading from her eyes. “And I’m telling you, as your straight friend, that we can leave any time you want. We’re here for you, Gwen.” 

“Okay.” She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. “No pressure, right?” she asked, and the look on her face was so sincere, almost plaintive.

“Not even a single psi.” He wasn’t sure he was saying that right, having slept through most of his science classes in both high school and college. But it brought a smile to Gwen’s face, so he considered it a job well done.

She shook her shoulders, leaning forward and resting her chin in her hand, and examined the crowd with interest for the first time since they’d arrived. “All right,” she mumbled, mostly to herself. After a few seconds of silence she sat up straight again. “Oh,” she breathed, then tapped Jasper’s arm and gestured unsubtly toward a woman wearing fairy wings and wreathed in pink flowers. “She . . . uh, makes my chest feel kinda fizzy?” Her eyes met his, uncertainty mixed with excitement in her face. “Is that . . . ? ”

He glanced back in the fairy’s direction just as David bumped into her, balancing three beers. Despite his lack of hands, David steadied her with his elbow, his smile turning apologetic as he made sure she was okay before returning to their table. Their eyes locked and David’s smile widened. 

And . . . well, yes, the feeling in Jasper’s chest was somewhat fizzy, because it turned out he wasn’t very good at being straight after all. 

“Yeah,” he assured Gwen, unable to stifle a silly grin as he watched David approach. “Yeah, that’s definitely in the ballpark.”

Keep Reading

[sugawaraxo]

sex tape

warnings: smut ofc

characters: yu nishinoya, ryu tanaka, tetsoru kuroo, koutarou bokuto

request: Hc of asking your man to make a sex tape with you? With Nishinoya, Tanaka, Kuroo, and Bokuto please! 🖤

a/n: i really like bokuto’s, his was fun to write lol

nishinoya

- with nishinoya traveling all the time because of volleyball, it gets extremely hard not to miss him a lot when he’s gone

- especially when you’re craving his touch 

- most times you’re able to satisfy yourself decently well, but sometimes it’s just not enough

- and porn does absolutely nothing to help you because watching other people fuck just isn’t the same as watching as nishinoya fucks you

- so you get an idea that sparks both yours and nishinoya’s attention

- he’s very excited

“babe, can i ask you something?” you say while you massage noya’s scalp, his head resting in your lap comfortably as you two lay on the couch.

“hm?” he hums, teetering on the verge of sleep at the gentle feeling of your touch.

“what if we made a sex tape?” you question and noya’s head shoots up to look at you, eyes wide with interest.

“is this a joke? like some sort of prank? please tell me it’s not a prank.” he begs and you laugh at his response.

“no, it’s not a prank. i was just thinking about it and sometimes, when you’re away, i get really needy and it’s hard to get the kind of pleasure i’m looking for without you here. so maybe if we make a little sex tape, i can have something to watch and help when you’re away.” you explain. nishinoya stares at you blankly, his brain slowly processing each word you just said. the thought of you getting all needy when he’s not here and touching yourself while watching a video of him fucking you was more than enough to make him and his mini noya very excited. 

“is that even a question? i’m so down, can we do it right now?” he asks eagerly causing you to laugh at him again. 

“i mean, i don’t see why not.” you shrug.

nishinoya props himself up so that he’s hovering above you and he kisses you deeply. your lips always work together so perfectly, synchronizing in a nice steady rhythm. his hands are traveling all over your body in an attempt to get you as aroused as he already is, and it works without a doubt. noya continues kissing you and lightly grazing your sides with his fingers or rubbing small circles on your inner thighs until he earns a moan from you that makes him grin. 

“i know how i want to start the sex tape.” he says confidently.

“how?” 

“grab your phone and start recording.” is his only response. you grab your phone from beside you on the couch and open the camera app, pressing record and waiting for noya’s next move. he slides down your body and effortlessly discards your shorts, tossing them off to the side somewhere. he looks down in between your legs then up at you, you watching him through the screen of your phone. he gives the camera a small smirk before pressing a kiss on the lower part of your tummy, trailing more soft kisses all over your thighs, hips, and waist. he then lightly moves his lips over your core which was only being covered by the thin lace of your underwear. you begin to grow a bit impatient at nishinoya’s teasing, writhing under his gentle yet alluring kisses.

“noya, please.” you whine softly and he looks up at you for a quick second before pulling your panties down and tossing them somewhere unknown. he wastes no time pressing his mouth against your warm folds, licking circles around your clit repetitively. you to let out an airy gasp of his name and he continues to work his mouth around your clit for awhile, progressively sucking and licking more and more aggressively, just so he could selfishly earn more moans from you that make his dick painstakingly hard. and as if his tongue relentlessly moving around your clit wasn’t enough, he sticks two fingers inside of you and curls them upward to hit your spot. 

“holy shit noya.” you moan, reaching your free hand down to grip onto his hair lightly while trying to maintain a steady grip on your phone with the other. he looks up at you and you nearly cum at the sight. his eyes are blown with lust and his face is flushed a pretty shade of pink. you just know this part of the video is going to constantly be on replay when it’s finished. you absentmindedly start jutting your hips against noya’s tongue, a thing you do when you’re about to unravel.

you giving him the clear sign that you’re about to cum is noya’s cue to stop, so he removes his fingers from your soaking hole and wipes his mouth clean as he sits up between your legs. you whimper a little at the cum denial, but you know exactly why he did it.

“wanna see you cum with me inside you.” he mumbles, confirming your guess. 

“me too.” you respond and he smiles down at you softly which makes your heart jump. he pulls his pants down along with his boxers revealing his member. his tip is dripping with precum and you feel your pussy clench as you look at it. nishinoya takes his shirt off before saying, “yours too” and you remove yours aswell. he looks at your now fully nude body and sighs,

“how’d i get so fucking lucky?” he coos and for the second time, your hearts jumps and you can’t help but smile at his words. he presses himself at your entrance, teasing it slowly and you adjust the camera angle so that you can get more of noya’s face and body in it because that’ll come in handy later. he slides into you at a teasingly slow pace, drawing out the loud moan that’s leaving your lips. once he’s all the way in, he looks at the camera and winks before pulling out and thrusting back into you, hitting your spot perfectly. you planned on rolling your eyes at his cockiness, but your eyes end up squeezing shut at the sudden excess of pleasure.

“that feel good?” noya asks, already knowing the answer but still wanting to fuel his ego. you can’t even answer in actual words as he continues to thrust into you deeply, so you just nod and moan in response. he grins in satisfaction and thrusts into you a bit harder, not letting up on wanting to milk you of every moan you could possibly utter. he wants this video to be really nice for you since he feels guilty about being away for so long sometimes. he wants to make you feel so good so that every time you look back at this, you remember how amazing he can make you feel. he reaches down to play with your nipples a bit, making you squirm in pleasure. you use your free hand to start playing with your throbbing clit, not being able to hold back the lewd noises building in your throat. you’re a moaning mess beneath him, shaking and struggling to keep the camera steady as you get closer to your orgasm.

“here, let me take it.” noya says, grabbing the phone from you as he notices you struggling. he focuses it down on you, watching himself go in and out of you on the screen and he lets out a groan.

“noya, i’m so close.” you whimper, your chest heaving heavily as you start rubbing your clit more aggressively.

“good girl, cum for me.” nishinoya coos, making his thrusts sharper and deeper against your g-spot.

a few more thrusts and you’re arching your back off the couch and practically screaming nishinoya’s name. he smirks as you tremble beneath him, the sight completely destroying him aswell. he pulls out of you and cums all over your stomach, grunting and panting while he reaches his peak.

he wipes his mess up with his fingers then places them at your mouth, you sucking all of his faintly salty remnants off obediently and his cock twitches. after getting that all on camera, noya stops the recording and collapses next to you.

“that felt so good.” you sigh before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“it really did.” he replies, returning a kiss on your forehead. “now you can watch it whenever you want. and you better send me that video, i need it too.” he continues, handing you back your phone. you laugh at his statement and give him a quick peck before sending him the video.

you guys definitely watch it that night and go for another round.

tanaka

- he would be the one to bring it up actually

- tanaka just enjoys taking lewd photos of you in general

- he’ll come up behind you as you look at yourself in the mirror after getting ready and take a handful of your boob before snapping a pic

- or he’ll have you sit on his lap, facing towards him so he can take a mirror pic of him grabbing your ass like that

- he doesn’t post them or anything, but just likes looking at them every once in awhile

-  he did print out the ass grabbing one and put it on the dash board of his car though

- it makes him feel a sense of security that he’s the only one you’ll pose in pictures like that for 

- and he’s always had the desire to film you guys while having sex, to have a permanent memory of the encounter

- which is no surprise to you

tanaka is balls deep in your mouth, fucking your face at a slow yet rough tempo while muttering all sorts of nonsense as he does so. he’s leaning against the edge of the kitchen counter and you’re resting on your knees in front him, pleasing him the way he loves the most. your eyes are shut tightly as you try your best not to choke on tanaka’s length, them beginning to brim with tears a bit at the feeling of him continuously thrusting into the back of your throat. you open your eyes so that the tears would fall and you could wipe them away. but when you open them, you’re met with tanaka’s phone camera facing down at you and him looking at you with a shy smile.

“is this ok?” he asks, motioning to his phone.

“mhmm.” you hum, your mouth too full to talk.

you think it’s kind of hot being recorded actually. knowing that tanaka will go back and watch this vid countless times the same way you always catch him looking at the nsfw pictures that you two take every so often. it also gives you the motivation to be a little extra with your sucking. you wanna make tanaka weak with moans so whenever he goes back to watch the video, he’s reminded of just how crazy he is for your lips around his dick.

you hollow your cheeks a bit more, moving your wet mouth down his shaft at a teasing pace, maintaining eye contact with him in the process. he throws his head back and lets out a deep groan as your nose touches his abdomen, you completely taking tanaka’s length down your throat. 

“holy fuck y/n.” tanaka pants and you smirk, now circling the tip of his dick with your tongue. you suck the tip gently, remembering to slide your tongue over the slit occasionally which causes tanaka to grip your hair roughly as he moans your name. he watches you through his phone screen, basking in the fact that he knows this will be his favorite video on the planet.  

“i’m not gonna last very long if you keep this up.” he sighs breathlessly, looking down at you through hooded eyes. it’s taking every bit of his strength not to just release in your mouth right then, because you look so destroyed on his cock. there’s saliva and precum on your swollen lips and rolling down your chin in thin clear strands, your face is stained with the tears that spilled from your eyes whenever you took tanaka’s full length down your throat, and your hair is a little messy from tanaka instinctively gripping it whenever he feels his tip hit the back of your throat. it’s definitely a sight to see, a sight that has tanaka teetering on his edge. you’re about to try deepthroating him again, but he pulls you off by your hair and gestures for you to stand up.

“bend over the counter.” he grunts.

you get up and rest your stomach on the edge of the cold counter, bending over for him. he lifts one of your legs, placing it on the counter while you maintain balance with the other still planted on the floor. now your cunt is fully exposed to him and both of you shiver, you at the feeling and him at the view. tanaka makes sure he has a decent camera angle before thrusting into you. no teasing, no gimmicks, just straight to it. your body lurches forward a bit, tanaka is not taking it easy on you today and you don’t mind at all. his eyes are glued to your ass on his phone screen, watching it bounce every time he thrusts into you.

“fuck.” he moans, the grip that his free hand has on your hip growing a bit tighter. you’re whimpering with each thrust, each and every one of them hitting that spot that makes you feel dizzy. if anyone were to speak to you right now, anything you tried to say would sound like a bunch of babbling. that’s the power tanaka’s cock has over you, and he absolutely loves it.

“you ok down there baby?” he asks but you can hear the smirk he’s carrying in his tone. you say nothing, just continue to let your sweet, loud moans bounce off the walls of the kitchen. tanaka pulls you up so that your leg is still lifted on the counter, but your back is pressed flush against his body. he switches to the selfie camera and sets the phone down, resting it against a vase on the countertop so that both of you are in view.

“i want you to cum like this, ok?” he says and you nod eagerly in return. he begins thrusting into you again, placing tender kisses on the sides of your neck while his hands roam all over your body. you watch him on the phone screen, he looks just as fucked out as you do which makes you pulse around him. you move your hand down to your clit, knowing that neither of you would last much longer. tanaka slows the speed of his thrusts, but increases the precision as he aims directly for your special spot. 

“oh my god ryu, i’m gonna- fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.” you moan, throwing your head back against his shoulder and he looses it, just as well as you do.

he pulls out of you and cums all over your backside, some dripping onto the floor as you use the counter to stable yourself from your weakening legs. he kisses your shoulder before reaching down to grab his phone and stop the recording. then he grabs your hips and turns you towards him and plants a gentle kiss on your lips.

“that was insanely hot.” he says as he uses the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead.

“you’re telling me.” you sigh, still shaking slightly from your orgasm. he cleans up the mess he made on the floor with a paper towel, then makes his way back over to you and picks you up bridal style. 

“well let’s go shower and maybe we can record another one while we’re in there.” tanaka smirks and you shake your head as you laugh.

i guess that’s what happens when you have a boyfriend with high stamina.

kuroo

- like tanaka, kuroo would initiate it

- kuroo loves to take pictures and videos of you to show you off

- like he’s definitely one of those boyfriend’s whose instagram has more pictures of their partner than themselves

- he just thinks you’re so cute and wants the whole world to know you’re his

- but he doesn’t want them to know what you guys do behind closed doors

- so those pics and videos stay private, for his and your eyes only

- but he definitely loves taking them while you guys are in the heat of the moment

- is 100% the type to fuck you while watching your own sex tape

“kuroo, i’m kinda in the mood to ride you.” you say bluntly to your boyfriend who is sitting across from you on the couch. he pulls his phone away from his line of vision so he could look at you, searching for any signs of a joke in your expression. but you’re dead serious.

“i mean, what am i supposed to say to that? no?” he smirks that infamous smirk of his and you have to force yourself not to roll your eyes.

“just wanted to give you a heads up is all.” you say, climbing your way over to him and straddling his lap. he lays his phone on his chest and his hands instinctively find their way to your thighs, rubbing the smooth skin gently. 

“hm, go for it. i’m all yours.” he grins then lifts his arms above his head as if permitting you access to his body. you smile down at him amusedly, desire eating away at you as you process his appearance. he’s shirtless, so his muscular build is on full display for you to inherently drool over. he’s wearing a pair of shorts made of the same material sweatpants are made out of, the fabric loosely resting on his hips dangerously low now that you’re sitting there and unintentionally pulling them down a bit. he catches your wandering eyes and chuckles at you.

“you know you can look and touch, right kitten?” he teases and you allow yourself to roll your eyes at him this time.

“sheesh, can i not just admire my hot boyfriend?” you huff jokingly before rubbing your hands up his chest and down his torso tenderly. you don’t fail to miss the slight blush raising over the bridge of kuroo’s nose which makes you smile.

“only if you let me admire you back.” he says, tugging at the hem of your shirt as a signal for you to take it off. you do, bringing the piece of clothing over your head slowly, quite literally feeling kuroo’s gaze burning through you the entire time. once your top half is just as naked as kuroo’s, he starts massaging your boobs lightly and you let out a sigh at his touch. he moves his hands down your sides and over your thighs, letting them rest there again while rubbing his thumbs over your now tingling skin. 

“can’t wait to watch you fuck yourself on my cock.” he groans as he scans over your entire body with eager eyes and a flush of heat runs through your body. 

“yeah?” you question, beginning to roll your hips over his clothed shaft. his breath hitches and he picks up his phone that’s still laying on his chest.

“mhm, i’m gonna record it. so put on a show for me.” he grins and you feel a surge of arousal flow through you. you pull off the only piece of clothing you have left which is a simple pair of underwear, and pull down kuroo’s bottoms just enough so that you can get what you need. you grind your damp cunt against kuroo’s now hardening member in an attempt to get him fully erect. it works with ease, him getting hard for you in just a matter of seconds as he watches you desperately rock your hips against him. 

you reach down beneath your body, grabbing his length and giving it a couple strokes before placing his tip at your center sinking down on him and feeling every inch stretch and fill you up perfectly. you let out a shaky breath and kuroo holds back a moan by biting his lip harshly. you begin to set a steady pace for yourself, lifting your hips up and letting them fall back down slowly enough for you to get used to kuroo’s above average size. you sturdy yourself by placing your hands on his chest, now picking up the pace of your movements. 

“you’re so hot.” kuroo groans as he reaches down to grab your ass before giving it a harsh spank. you wince at the pain, but also moan at the pleasure from him massaging the cheek afterwards. you lift yourself a bit higher off of his length and sink back down quickly, causing you and kuroo to moan in unison. you continue this, lifting your body all the way up to his tip and then crashing back down to take all of him inside of you, making you both just a jumble of moans and pants. 

“fuck, turn around. i wanna see that ass.” kuroo smirks and you follow his order. your now facing away from him, reverse cowgirl style, while he teases your hole with his tip. he has a firm grasp on his dick as he rubs it against your glistening folds, admiring the view in front of him.

“you ready?” he asks.

“mhm.” you hum. you move your hips around, eagerly waiting to feel him fill you up again. he chuckles at you before pushing himself into you, thrusting a couple times before letting you take the lead again. you start bouncing your hips up and down his shaft and kuroo nearly passes out. watching you ride him with your ass on full display for him is testing his strength, but he pushes through. he grabs onto your ass tightly and guides your hips to move at a bit of a slower pace.

“jesus, fuck.” kuroo moans, his grip on his phone faltering a bit as he begins to feel overwhelmed with pleasure. he tightens his grasp on the phone and starts fucking into you, matching the movements of your hips. 

“yes kuroo, just like that.” you sigh, throwing your head back at the sensation. 

“touch yourself, i want you to cum first.” kuroo breathes and you do as told. you rub your clit as you continue to grind on kuroo’s cock, meeting his thrusts halfway. 

“mm, kuroo-” is all you manage to get out before you’re trembling and moaning, your core pulsating as you orgasm.

“fuck.” kuroo pants as he pulls out of you, giving himself a few tugs before spurting warm cum all over your ass. you two sit like that for a few seconds, letting yourselves regain stability. once you feel as though you can move again, you turn around and lay on kuroo’s chest. he’s still recording so he flips the camera to face you guys, lifts your chin, and presses your lips together lovingly.

“probably the hottest one we’ve recorded yet.” kuroo says after ending recording.

“yeah?” you laugh at his enthusiastic expression.

“mhmm, because you’re the star of it.” he smiles. 

bokuto

- he comes home from practice and finds you waiting on the bed naked with your already recording camera set up on the side table

- babie is FLUSTERED

- like he just stands in the doorway, mouth gaped open, as if he’s too scared to walk in

- he’s seen you naked numerous times but you still take his breath away every time

- he’s so adorable 

- finally snaps out of his trance and joins you on the bed

bokuto removes his shoes and climbs into bed with you. the contrast between him being fully clothed and you being completely naked makes both of you blush a bit.

“what’s all this about?” he asks with a quirked eyebrow, scanning your entire body which makes you tense under his stare.

“umm well, i was thinking about it and i thought it’d be really hot if we made a sex tape.” you explain.

“you wanna make a sex tape?” he questions.

“i mean yeah. it’ll be nice to have something to look back-”

“say less.” he cuts you off and practically tears off his shirt. you giggle at his excitement, already knowing that he was probably going to react this way. within the next few seconds, you aren’t the only naked one anymore and your eyes trail down bokuto’s body. just like how you never fail to amaze him, he never fails to amaze you. the way his toned muscles flex whenever he moves makes all your heat rush to your core. 

“the view’s nice huh?” he teases and flexes his biceps a bit.

“shut up.” you laugh, “but yes, it is.”

bokuto grins at your compliment, then cups your face in his hands and captures your lips with his passionately. your lips mesh together effortlessly, as if you guys were made to kiss each other. bokuto deepens the kiss by swiping your bottom lip with his tongue, alerting you that he’s about to insert it into your mouth. he does just that and you let out a breathy moan that shoots right down to his dick. he hardens at your noises, kissing you deeper just to earn more. you could honestly kiss bokuto for hours. the way he always makes you feel like you’re the most fragile and precious thing he’s ever touched when he kisses you makes you feel overwhelmingly loved. though today’s makeout session is unfortunately cut short when bokuto pulls away and flips you over onto your stomach as if you weigh nothing. you let out a gasp, a little startled by the sudden force.

“sorry babe, i just really need to be inside you right now.” he admits and you laugh a little. you prop yourself up onto your elbows and knees, preparing for bokuto to insert himself into you.

“mm, look at that. all pretty and perched up for me.” he groans, rubbing your exposed cunt with two fingers. you tense at his light yet arousing touch, desperately wanting him to do more. as if he read your mind, he inserts those fingers inside of you at an antagonizing pace. you move your hips back in an attempt to speed up the friction but instead he pulls his fingers out and rests his hand on your ass.

“be” he spanks one cheek, “patient.” he finishes as he spanks the other. you whine at the stinging yet pleasurable pain and bokuto smiles sadistically while entering his fingers back inside you at a much faster rate. you moan as you watch yourself on your phone screen. you intentionally set it up using the selfie camera so that you could watch as bokuto fucked you senseless on the screen, and boy are you glad you did that. the smug look on his face while he fingerfucks you and thrusts into his own hand makes you clench around his fingers, craving something a bit bigger than the two digits.

“please just fuck me kou, i need it.” you moan. bokuto tries to pretend he’s not flustered by your words but is clearly taken aback. he could be the dominant one all he wants, but it’ll never change the fact that he goes completely weak when you beg for him.

“yeah? you want me to fuck you?” he grins, pulling his fingers out and replacing them with the tip of his painfully hard member.

“mhmm, please kou.” you hum, knowing that begging gets you anything you want with him. this instance just further proves that statement because he begins pushing into you at the same antagonizing speed he moved his fingers at. but you can’t complain since it helps a lot with getting used to his size, because he most definitely does not have the smallest tool in the shed. he continues slowly pushing his way in until his lower abdomen is pressed against your ass, his cock buried deep within your tight hole.

“fuck, you feel so good.” he moans. you glance at your phone to see what he looks like and his head is thrown back, eyes shut tightly and mouth open slightly. your body tingles at the sight, pleasure is written all over his expression and you love it. he pulls out of you and thrusts back into you with brute force. his favorite thing to do ever since he learned that it makes you scream. he pulls out of you exceptionally slowly, waits a short second, and then slam back into you relentlessly. your toes curl at his his little trick and you bury your face into a pillow in an attempt to muffle your loud moans of his name and plenty other profanities. he does this a few more times, smirking at the way you’re completely falling apart beneath him, then takes a break and fucks you at a more steady pace. though he’s no longer pounding into your sweet spot, his tip is still brushing against it and your head goes fuzzy with pleasure.

“you fuck me so good kotaro.” you moan into the pillow, gripping the sheets around you tightly.

“only the best for my pretty girl.” he smiles “here, turn over. wanna see your face.”

you flip over onto your back, now looking up at bokuto who’s smiling down at you lovingly.

“beautiful, so beautiful.” he coos, rubbing his thumb over your cheek softly. your heart drops into your stomach. you know you probably look a hot mess right now. makeup ruined from you shoving your face into a pillow, face flushed from the immense pleasure, and hair a bit messy from it all. but he still thinks you’re the most beautiful girl in existence and your heart almost can’t take it.

“can’t wait to make you cum.” he finishes and without any warning, he grinds his hips into you smoothly yet assertively. he has a tight grip on your hips as he rocks into them and you are just about losing it beneath him. you’re gripping onto his biceps, surely leaving bruises that’ll form by tomorrow. but he doesn’t mind whatsoever. he loves seeing you all fucked out as he pounds into you, sputtering all sorts of moans and lewd words here and there with each thrust. he can tell you won’t be able to hold on for much longer, so he brings his thumb to your clit and rubs small and quick circles on it. he matches the tempo of his thrusts and watches you turn into a blabbering mess at his touch.

“fuck kou, jesus christ. i can’t-you’re gonna make me-oh my god-i’m gonna-“

you’re grip on his arms gets a bit tighter as you succumb to your forceful orgasm. your eyes roll back, your back arches off the bed, and you swear your vision goes dark for a few seconds. bokuto can almost never get a full thrust in after seeing you cum and this is no exception to that. as soon as he sees you come undone, he pulls out of you and releases all over your stomach with a rich moan of your name.

“i came so hard i went blind there for a second.” you admit and bokuto busts out laughing.

“shit sorry. not really though.” he shrugs, collapsing next to you.

“hush. i’m just glad we got that all on camera. i’ll definitely be watching that soon. speaking of, can you hand me my phone?”

bokuto reaches over to grab your phone of the nightstand and you stop recording.

“twenty minutes of gold content.” you say as you look at the length of the video.

“wanna make it twenty more?”

“say less.” you reply smugly.

[orionsangel86]

SPN Conspiracies - Applying Logic to Chaos

Its been over 2 months now since the Supernatural finale aired. I am still so angry, hurt, and confused by it and I don’t think I will ever get closure unless someone like Andrew Dabb, or Jensen Ackles, actually opens up and gives us an explanation that makes sense.

What annoys me most right now is people trying to gaslight fans into believing that we should accept the narrative we have been given at face value: That the finale was always planned to be that way, that Destiel was never on the cards, that there was no Network interference, that the only changes made were due to covid and were minor at best.

This harmful gaslighting is FALSE.

NO ONE KNOWS THE TRUTH OF WHAT HAPPENED.

Look, I don’t agree with some of the crazier conspiracy theories. I don’t believe that there was some huge campaign among the CW Network execs to remove anything remotely gay out of homophobia. I don’t believe that the finale was changed because of some desire to make it into a Walker promo. I don’t believe that the finale was really bad on purpose in protest by Dabb for not getting to do an ending he truly wanted. I don’t believe that Dabb left us smart fans a bunch of secret messages in the finale to hint that he was on our side all along and that everything was fake.

I do, however, believe that all of these conspiracy theories have some elements in them that are plausible. At least, more plausible than the bullshit narrative mentioned above that some people are pushing in some desperate attempt to defend the Network (which imo is really strange behaviour anyway - why would anyone care about a TV network with a history of terrible behaviour?!?)

We have facts, based on information provided before the covid lockdown, which for some reason, people like Misha have since backpeddled on. So let me try to outline some of the information that makes no sense.

Below the cut I go on a deep dive into the conspiracies and statements I have heard about the SPN finale and try to make some sense of this whole fucked up situation. It gets long.

1. “Cas was never gonna be in the finale”.

False: We have many fan accounts of Misha confirming that he was filming the finale. We have video evidence of Misha confirming he was going back to film the finale after the lockdown. We have confirmation from fans in Misha M&Gs from March that he had about 5 days of filming left.

We also had fan accounts of discussions with Alex Calvert (I think) where he confirmed the final shot of the final episode was all four of them though I would LOVE if someone can find a source for this.

2. Okay, Misha was gonna be in the finale, but only as Jimmy Novak

False: I heavily side eyed Misha when he said this. But I think I can come up with a plausible explanation for it. Per above, Misha was supposed to film for 5 days. This does not align with the half a day he described of filming as Jimmy Novak. My own belief is that after Cas was cut from the finale (for whatever reason we don’t know) someone (probably Jensen Ackles) put up a fight and complained that Misha should be there for the final episode. The writers probably tried to come up with a way to bring Misha back without having to deal with Cas, and pitched the idea of Jimmy Novak being in Heaven. Misha, obviously annoyed about this, turned this stupid pitch down.

3. Destiel was never a thing, never planned, never part of Dabb’s ending. Bobo and Misha pushing the confession was the part of the season that was Wrong.

False: We have a SPN writer on record saying that Castiel’s confession was the first thing written for Season 15 when the writers returned to the writers room. If it wasn’t planned, why was it the first thing written, why does it align so well with the rest of season 15? Look I know some people either a. hate destiel and refuse to see it even if it slaps them in the face, or b. have major heteronormative goggles on, or c. are just homophobes in denial, but 15x18 fits in perfectly with the narrative of season 15. Everything Cas says, everything that happened in that scene was so in character it just works. It fit. If you just rewatch the season whilst applying some critical thinking skills and pay attention to the narrative and character arcs, trust me, the confession fits in with pretty much every other plot point, and character story in the season.

Also: We have known for a while that the network did market research into Destiel, wanting to know if it would go down well or not. They were well aware of its popularity and considering it. Where would this have come from if not pitched by the showrunner? Dabb must have at least been considering it. If you take all of Dabb era into consideration, starting with mid season 11, all the way through the season 12 build up, season 13 grief arc, and then Bobo’s Destiel break up arc in late season 14, early season 15, it is clear that there was some toing and froing on the issue of Destiel, but ultimately, I still believe that Dabb was on board. He wrote 13x01 for christs sake. No way he wasn’t taking it seriously.

 4. It’s always been about the brothers. The finale just stays true to what Supernatural is all about.

*rubs temples* Fundamentally FALSE: The show has time and again reasserted the message of “Family don’t end with blood”, as well as the messages of AKF and YANA. Sam and Dean may be at the heart of the show, but a heart can’t exist without a body to support it. Without bones, and lungs, and blood, and muscles, and a BRAIN. The finale abandons the shows core messages. It forces the characters back into their season 1 characterisations and the whole thing becomes hollow and souless. But I’m not here to complain, I’m here to lay down the facts. Dean’s heaven was supposed to be surrounded by loved ones right? We know OG Charlie Bradbury was gonna be in his Heaven, we also know CAS was gonna be in there. So this idea that the finale as it currently stands was how it was meant to be is wrong. Dean was supposed to die and reunite with his found family and loved ones. This alone would have been a far better ending than the one given. Do I think this was solely a covid issue? Fuck no.

The randoms that WERE in the finale are proof alone that they could have got people in and quarantined. We also have several actors on record saying that they WOULD have quarantined for the finale had they been asked to return but they WEREN’T.

Lies have been told. Samantha Ferris and Chad Limberg have confirmed that we have been lied to about the original plans for the finale.

This alone is proof enough that there is more plausibility in some of the conspiracy theories than any bullshit narrative some people are pushing in defence of the barbaric mess of a finale we were given.

So lets address some of the conspiracy theories now:

Conspiracy No.1: The CW Network reviewed Supernatural during the covid break, and due to homophobia, refused any Destiel arc that wasn’t already filmed, shut down any potential reciprocation from Dean, and forced Dabb to change his finale.

I don’t think this is entirely what happened. But I do think it is very strange how there is a such a huge disconnect particularly in Dean’s characterisations between what had come before the lockdown, and what came after. The one fact we have here, and please someone provide a source if you can find it because I know there is one, the finale script was still going through changes up to only 2 weeks before it was filmed. We know that there was some weird editing in 15x18 (which was still in post and uncompleted before lockdown) and we know from Jensen’s own mouth that there was more to the confession scene on Dean’s side that was cut. We also know that this isn’t the first time that Destiel heavy moments have been changed in post - the prayer scene is another big scene that went through a lot of changes and Bobo fought to have his script play out the way he wanted it.

There are certain things that in my own opinions, are basically true of SPN which I have put together from years of keeping one eye on the writers room, the network, and all the various comments made. My opinion is this:

The writers room has always been split on Destiel. Some writers heavily supported making it canon, others did not care, or were against it.

The Network considered it over the course of several years, did market research, green lit it, then changed their minds, possibly several times over the course of Dabb’s era. Destiel was pitched to the Network early in Dabb era.

The crew on set were also split. Some people heavily supported it, and worked to assist the reading, whereas others did not care/did not support it. The same can be said for the editing room.

Bob Singer supported the subtextual homoeroticism, but never supported bringing it into text (this is an opinion, but I think it aligns with everything we know about him.) IMO Bob Singer also supported subtextual homoeroticism between Sam and Dean - the guy is gross is what I’m saying. He isn’t exactly a progressive person.

Fun fact - a while back our old enemy Sera Gamble went on a Twitter rant about writers rooms and the ways a script goes through changes. I don’t think this was in relation to the SPN finale wank but she basically inadvertantly confirmed that the Network can step in and make sweeping changes to a script if they want to and if they decide they don’t like the direction of a story. Sera Gamble confirmed this as a fact.

Now. I’m not saying that this is what the CW did with Destiel. I just think its very strange how pre lockdown, the last thing filmed is a heartfelt homosexual declaration of love between Dean and Cas, and we have a finale script that Misha had not seen, but knew that he was meant to film as Castiel for 5 days (5 days on set is over half of an episode as far as I know). Then all of a sudden, Covid happens, and Cas is cut from the finale completely, a desperate attempt to bring Misha back only as Jimmy Novak takes place, which Misha rightly refuses, leading to a finale which makes zero sense narratively and appears in every way completely and utterly butchered.

The only explanation provided by anyone involved is that Covid meant changes had to happen - but that covid didn’t change the actual story at all.

But this makes no sense because we know that Cas was cut from the finale. This is FACT. Do not let anyone gaslight you into thinking otherwise. Misha was preparing to quaranting to return to set as Cas post Covid, so whatever happened to cut Cas from the finale, it wasn’t Covid.

I’m gonna have to Occum’s Razor this and say that the most logical explanation here is the one that is most likely true. Someone got cold feet with the Destiel story, and to prevent any possible interpretation that included Dean reciprocating, any hints of Destiel were removed from the finale script, including Castiel’s whole appearance.

Now, this isn’t me saying I think that Dabb’s original finale was full of Destiel love confessions and a homosexual kiss or whatever, but I am asking you all to really think about it and ask yourselves WHY Cas would have been totally cut from an episode he was supposed to be in at LEAST half of? 

We will probably never know the real reason Cas was cut, but he WAS cut. I’m not saying it was all homophobia, but some fuckery went down.

Conspiracy No. 2: The CW Network changed the finale to make it into a Walker promo because they only cared about raising up Jared and not Jensen and Misha as they were losing them anyway.

I don’t agree with this in terms of the finale being butchered solely to make it into a Walker promo. There are however moments in the finale that are clearly supposed to be Walker Easter Eggs and added to excite fans of Jared/Sam in particular such as Sam’s gratuitous and unnecessary topless scene, as well as the call on the “case in Austin”.

I will take this moment to say something pretty damn controversial though.

*Deep breath*

The fact is, Dean Winchester has been the “lead” character of Supernatural’s narrative for years now, with Sam often being sidelined and not given great storylines himself. Even in Season 15, right up until the finale, I myself felt bad for Sam sometimes because so much of this show has become all about Dean. Jensen Ackles is clearly the better actor when it comes to emotional story arcs, so the emotional heart of the story has most often leant on him.

So you can understand my confusion, when this is turned on its head in the final episode, to make Sam carry all the emotional weight, and have the most lines/screentime, and story resolution (even if his story resolution was just as crappy as Dean’s).

If we pretend that Destiel is not a thing, and ignore Cas’s confession, the story change in the finale from Dean focus to Sam focus is still rather suspicious. Again, I’m not saying I completely approve of or agree to the conspiracy theory that Walker influenced the butchering of the script, but I can believe that perhaps a note went down from the CW to someone like Bob Singer, to emphasise Sam/Jared more than they perhaps would normally, because the CW wanted to shine the spotlight on Jared to raise excitement for Walker.

I can also believe this note might have said something like “we wanna cater to fans of Sam/Jared the most - don’t do anything to piss them off.” but now I am getting into my own conspiracy theories so by all means dismiss this as me being bitter.

Conspiracy No.3: Dabb purposely made it bad, as a secret message to Destiel fans that he had been silenced, by layering meta clues into the episode that he knew fans would notice.

I doubt this one is true. Though some of the theories are quite compelling. The old vampire silent movie theory for instance starts off quite well, but loses me the moment it brings up Urban Dictionary slang.

Sometimes I have just had to accept that Supernatural is a bad show that is sometimes accidentally a masterpiece. However, some writers really did go That Deep with their stories - anything by Ben Edlund or Steve Yockey for instance, their episodes are meta masterpieces with a hundred different layers of beautiful subtextual storytelling and are a joy to analyse. Bobo Berens has certainly done some A+++ work especially now we KNOW that he was working hard all this time to bring Destiel to canon text (so any analysis of Destiel in the subtext in his episodes is very accurate). There have been many other key elements analysed over the years which have been confirmed true. Cas’s death in Season 12, Dean’s time as a demon in season 10, Season 11 ending in unity of dark and light, these were all plot points predicted by meta writers just by analysing the narrative. Sometimes the writers really have been very smart and they do add things to the show to aid us in our meta.

Richard Speight Jr for instance, confirmed that SPN has a visual library that the production team use to give clues and hints in the narrative. Pizza, for example, always means a lie has been told. Whenever Pizza is being eaten or even just mentioned on screen, there is dishonesty in that particular moment.

The beers also have a very specific message and the one thing I can’t let go about the finale, was that Dean was drinking El Sol beer. The beer his dad gave him, that was terrible.

El Sol has been used in the show to indicate something being wrong, a fake reality, or another lie, for the longest time. It is the beer of deception.

The fact that in the final episode of this entire show, Dean is in Heaven, supposedly at peace, and then he gets handed an El Sol beer to drink? Thats a HUGE red flag for any meta writer watching who can read SPNs visual library.

If they had given him the Margiekugel beer of family then it would make sense. Dean is in Heaven, with Bobby, his family, at peace. Margiekugel should have been the beer of choice. But nope. El Sol. Something is wrong.

I don’t know if it was Dabb, or Singer, or some disgruntled ADs and crew members who added these elements into the finale, but their very presence confirms some message of Wrongness.

I could go into a huge rant about Vampire Mimes not making sense and the very glaringly obvious symbolism of cutting out peoples tongues too, but that is high school level film analysis. It’s obvious. It means to silence someone. There is validity in interpreting this as Dabb saying he was silenced. I don’t know how true it is, but i can’t 100% dismiss it, because as I said, this is high school analysis levels of obvious subtextual storytelling.

So in summary, whilst I don’t think that Dabb intentionally went out of his way to sabotage his own script, and leave a breadtrail of secret messages for savvy fans to put together to confirm that he was silenced by an evil network into not getting what he wanted... I do think that there is validity in questioning these odd choices for the finale. Cutting out tongues? Vampire Mimes? El Sol beer?

The evidence is somewhat compelling is all I’m saying. I don’t believe the full conspiracy theories, but as I have said many times before, some fuckery went down.

So What Do I Believe?

That some fuckery went down and whatever company line they are pushing is bullshit.

I believe that the original script included Cas (since thats fact). I believe that the original script probably always had Dean dying on a vampire hunt (due to Jensen’s issues with it and in particular, his sarcastic comments about vampires in the past year or so which in hindsight are hilarious and prove he never really came to terms with Dean’s idiotic death). I believe Dabb’s original script was some less crappy version of what we got, which potentially included showing Jack rescuing Cas from the Empty and resolving the outstanding Empty plot points (potentially this was actually a 15x19 plot since Mark P commented that his final scenes were supposed to be with Jack and Cas), had Cas reunite with Dean in Heaven and had them have a discussion about Cas’s confession. I believe that there was probably a lot of back and forth over how to handle that with some people wanting Dean to obviously reciprocate and others believing they should keep it ambiguous. I believe that Dean and Cas would have reunited with Charlie Bradbury, and Bobby Singer, and possibly others (though if this was the case it must have been very early on since no one ever looped in Sam Ferris, Chad Linberg or any other Roadhouse people).

I believe that Sam’s ending probably didn’t change much, but I do feel that initially they were planning on him ending up with Eileen, because it is the only thing that narratively makes sense. Cutting Eileen and giving him a blurry wife is something I won’t ever understand and Jared’s bullshit explanations are quite clearly pulled out of his ass to appease bronly types. I believe the reunion on the bridge would have included Cas and Jack, with a final shot of all four of them together, at peace (as this aligns with Alex’s comments from around a year or so ago that the final shot was all four of them). (I also am not sure it was always supposed to be on a bridge since the foreshadowing in an earlier episode showed Dean, Cas and Sam all in the Roadhouse together).

I believe that script went through countless changes and redrafts, and not even production people or the types that some fandom people claim as their “sources” would even have seen those early scripts, since even Misha never saw it. I believe that these rumours of Dabb never having Cas in his finale and ignoring all Destiel elements likely come from people who only saw later versions, weren’t party to network discussions and felt bitter about the final scripts they did see (being the crappy butchered one that was ultimately filmed). Those “sources” are now spreading rumours to discredit Dabb.

I obviously believe Dabb is a weak ass pushover who either didn’t care enough to fight back, or gave up since he’s been stuck with fucking Bob Singer on his back for years, but I will NEVER believe he didn’t care about the DeanCas love story, because he has been one of the few writers who has championed for it for years. You can’t look back at Dabb’s episodes in earlier seasons and claim he didn’t care. Dabb was a writer whose creative ideas were beaten out of him by an unforgiving Network only concerned about where their future money was coming from. Do I think he gave up too easily? Yes. But I also have one other huge reason for not believing the bullshit about Dabb being this anti-Destiel villain.

Bobo. Because if Bobo truly believed Dabb was gonna fuck that up at the end, I don’t think he would have given us Cas’s love confession to begin with. If he had known it was gonna end like that, I think he would have reconsidered, because had Cas not confessed his love, I don’t think he would have been cut from the finale. Bobo - a gay man, would not have wanted such a horrible message for queer fans being put across in the show he worked so hard on. He started writing that confession scene the day they returned to the writers room. Dabb would have been there, would have seen what he was writing, probably discussed it with him, after all, other episodes were written with the confession in mind. No way was Dabb planning to fuck up the ending knowing what Bobo was giving us. Nope.

Something went very wrong over lockdown. Someone, somewhere up the chain of power caught wind of the confession scene in 15x18, realised that it demanded a resolution which would make Dean Winchester, their protagonist, queer, and pulled the plug. I believe this did not come from a place of homophobia, but of bad business sense.

The CW is constantly trying to win the approval and attention of the one demo group that they seem to fail at getting the most: young straight men. Supernatural was one of their only remaining shows that appeals to young straight men, and Dean Winchester is more often than not the fave character of those young straight men who project onto him. Making Dean Winchester, established Han Solo of Supernatural, queer and in love with his best friend in the finale would have come across as a betrayal to those young straight men. The CW probably feared they would lose that demo group for good, and with a show like Walker starting soon with Jared at the helm, they couldn’t take the risk.

Hence there was probably a whole bunch of back and forth script redrafts with the Network, with Dabb and Singer fighting to make a finale that would appeal to everyone. There was most likely no way that they could bring Cas back without addressing what had already been filmed, because any resolution of that plot would either a. make Dean queer, or b. address it awkwardly by having Dean reject Cas (this storyline would probably have been slammed by critics worse than the finale because it meant addressing it. It might have got the attention of LGBTQ activist groups and caused a bigger shitstorm than what we got). The best option was therefore C. Bury it and Cas, pretend it never happened. Never address it again and distract Dean with other things. Hope that Destiel fans will accept no answer from Dean as ambiguous enough to imagine a future reunion rather than shutting it down with a rejection, and still keep hold of the blissfully ignorant heteronormative straight boys so they can carry over to Walker when it starts.

I also believe (controversially probably) that there was concern that any resolution of Dean and Cas would have overshadowed network darling Jared Padalecki. If Dean and Cas had come together in the finale, with a very clearly textual homosexual reunion, then that would have been all anyone talked about. The reviewers, the critics, the audience, everyone. It would have been nothing but Dean and Cas (and look, if they did think this, they were right, Destiel trending over the US ELECTION.)

So what is the network to do, when they are losing the two stars who would get the most attention from this storyline? The one star they were holding on to and getting his own show, relegated to third place in the finale of the show where he was first on the call sheet? Nope. That’s pretty unacceptable. Even without Walker I can imagine people at all levels side eyeing the Destiel thing over the years. This IS a show about two brothers, and their relationship should be the core relationship, we can’t have one brother pushed aside in the finale to make way for a queer relationship that will get all the attention instead. It was never gonna get approved for this reason ALONE.

At the end of the day, if I look at it from a business perspective, it makes far more sense that the CW shut down Destiel, rather than “oh Dabb never cared and ruined it because he’s an idiot.” The writers cared, and had built on that story over years. But their mistake was leaving any Destiel resolution to the finale. If they had instead gone and got Dean and Cas together in early season 15, then they could have ended it in a way that satisfied everyone. Destiel wouldn’t have threatened pulling focus away from Sam and Dean, and the show could have gone out on a high.

When I lay out all the conspiracy theories, and line them up next to the cold hard facts, the conspiracy theories in some way or another, make more sense. To believe the company line, the narrative we have been fed, is to ignore your own eyes, ears, and memories pre March 2020.

All I’m asking people to do is take a look at the show, the narrative presented in the show, and the information presented above. I’m not telling you to believe what I’ve written here, half of which is just my own opinion. I’m asking you to ask yourselves if it makes sense to you. Because it sure as hell doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t think I’ll ever be satisfied.

[peachyaone]

saviour

Pairings: Rengoku Kyojurou x gn! hashira! reader

Warnings: Kimetsu no Yaiba the Movie: Mugen Train spoilers!

A/N: I saw the new KNY movie, so I wrote this fic to cope with the pain.

plot: what if you were there just in time to save him?

You knew something was off from the moment Oyakata-sama gave Rengoku the mission of slaying the demons on board the train, not that you disagree on his judgment, but your intuition tells you that something bad would happen.

And some of your intuitions were never wrong.

So you requested to go in disguise, in case anything goes sideways. You have explained the situation to Oyakata-sama, who actually agreed with your proposal, after all those years you had your "predictions", most of them actually came true.

So you sent your crow after them, obscured from the eyes of civilians, but still visible to you. You waited. But then the incident happened, as the ticket inspector punched your card. Your head felt dizzy and you fell asleep.

You dreamt of a life with your family again.

It was warm and happy.

*timeskip*

By the time you woke up, it was chaos. You sluggishly stood up, everyone was still asleep. The train was shaky and the walls had seemed to turn into a flesh-like substance. You heard explosions and the train turned sideways. You unsheathed your blade and stabbed it into the floor to maintain your footing. You could hear your crow pecking at the windows.

"Attention! Upper Rank Three Demon has been spotted! Rengoku and the younger slayers are battling him as we speak." It squawked. You groaned as you pulled out your blade and sheathed it into your scabbard. "Where are they now, Hideyoshi?" you asked it. "Few kilometers west from here!" It squawked again. You thanked it before dashing off to where they were.

*3rd person*

Tanjiro and Inosuke were watching the fight with awe and also fear. In awe, because they have never seen a hashira in battle like this before and in fear because Rengoku was heavily injured and was still fighting. They were both afraid to join in because Tanjiro was injured and they were moving at a speed that the two of them can keep up.

They could see that Rengoku's movement was getting more powerful at every strike he made, Tanjiro gulped. "Goddamn it!" He thought, if only he could do something, anything but to watch the person he looked up to get destroyed like this. He prayed to the skies above that someone could help them.

And the skies answered him, like a flash of light passed by him and Inosuke. The person seemed to be glowing with light. He recognized you, you were one of the hashira's, you were sitting on the tree with the serpent hashira, Obanai.

He thanked the skies for answering his prayers.

*Back to your POV*

In the distance, you could see the flames coming off Rengoku's breathing styles and you could smell the blood in the air. You pushed yourself to move faster. You sped through the two younger slayers and attacked the demon.

"Y/N! What are you doing here?!" You heard Rengoku said as he dodged another attack from the demon. "Ah? Another Hashira I see, you're as strong as Kyojuro! Maybe even stronger!" The demon said as he shifted his attention toward you. You were his target now. "Now is not the time, Kyojuro!" You said, moving into position.

"Breath of Light, First Form: Aureate." You said, your sword turned a bright golden color as you swung your attack at him. It sliced through his arm, the demon yelped. You saw that he was struggling to regenerate. He looked at you, burning in fury and wonder. "So you ARE stronger than him, wow, I have never seen anything like this! I'm Akaza." He laughed.

After a few moments, his arms regenerated. You stood beside Rengoku. "He's badly injured." You noted. "His eye is crushed, broken ribs, internal bleeding." You thought. It amazed you how he still managed to move right now. "Kyojuro, take it easy okay? I got this." You assured him, giving him a small smile.

"Join me, Y/N! Become a demon and let us fight with each other forever!" You heard Akaza say. You growled. "As if I become a filthy demon like you!" You shouted at him. "You are incredibly strong, you would be perfect among our ranks, join us." He said. "Never." You said. "So be it!" He said, charging towards you. "Breath of Light-" "Breath of Flames-" The both of you said. "Combined attack: Blazing Light!" A light that could rival the sun shone from both of your attacks.

He tried to dodge it, but it was too powerful. The lower part of his torso was wiped clean. You smirked and walked towards Rengoku and the two children.

Your eyes widened.

You felt pain shot up your spine. You coughed up blood. "Y/N!" Rengoku screamed. You looked down to see Akaza had punched you.

Hard.

"You ass-" You spitted blood on his face. Making him take a few steps back to regain his senses, you distanced yourself from him. You gripped on your sword tightly. Blood streamed out from your lips and dripped into the ground. You could see Rengoku came running toward you. You held out your hand to stop him. "No." you thought. You can finish him, and you will.

You sprinted, sword beside you, with an intent to kill. "Breath of Light, Third Form: Fluorescence." Your sword glowed again, even brighter. You slowly take in your breath, successfully maintaining your breathing technique. You could feel your internal bleeding stop.

Akaza didn't have any time to react when your blade met his neck. It pierced halfway through, before getting stuck. "It's stuck!" You turned your head, to look at Rengoku. "Kyojuro!" You called out. He looked at you knowingly. He took his sword. "Breath of Flames, Ninth Form: Rengoku!" He dashed to where you're standing. Akaza laughed and gave you another punch.

CRACK!

It was your ribs.

You coughed out more blood. Rengoku looked at you worriedly. "Don't stop! Keep going, Kyo!" You said to him.

"Breath of Light, Fifth form: Dawn." You said. You gave your sword a push, as Rengoku's met yours. Akaza screamed in pain. "Die!" you shouted. You watched as his body start to disintegrate. "It was a pleasure, batting with you both." You heard him say before he dissolved into the air.

You staggered. Dropping your sword before collapsing to the ground. You looked up to the sky. You could hear the footsteps of the two slayers. "Hang in there!" said the burgundy-haired boy. You felt arms helping you up, it was Rengoku. "You scared me a little. I thought you were gonna die," he whispered. You chuckled. "You think I would be defeated that easily? Dream on." You said, breathlessly.

"Are you kids okay?" You asked. "Kamado-boy over here is injured," Rengoku said. "And boar boy?" You asked again. "I'm perfectly fine." He said cockily.

"Let go home, okay?" you said.

*timeskip*

You and Rengoku reached the Butterfly Estate after getting the civilians somewhere safe. Lying down on the bed, Shinobu came in with bandages and medicine. "Well, the both of you look like you went through hell and back." She said. "We technically did." You groaned as she wrapped the bandages around you.

"How's Rengoku, is he okay?" You asked. "He's fine. Like you said, crushed eye, three broken ribs, and internal bleeding." She said. "And the Kamado boy?" "He'll make it, he's lucky that he stopped the bleeding in time." She said.

"How bad is mine?" You asked her. "Two broken ribs, bruised torso, and a fractured ankle." She said. "It surprises me, how your body could withstand those punches." "Try training with Sanemi. It's hell." You chuckled.

"You and Rengoku will be off duty until your injuries healed completely. No sneaking around." She warned. "Yes, ma'am," You said before drinking the medicine she brought earlier. A knock came from outside. "Come in." You said.

Rengoku came in. "Hey, Shinobu!" He said, brightly. "Rengoku, your not suppose to move, you'll strain your injuries." She said. "But I wanted to see my Y/NNNN~" He whined. "Fine, fine. I'll leave you two lovebirds be," she said, leaving the room.

"So..." You said. He turned around, cupped your face, and gave a passionate kiss. "Wow, what was that for?" You whispered.

"I almost lost you today."

"Kyo, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving you."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

[21st-century-ninja]

so he was sent to bed

“Oh, Kai, why couldn’t you just have gone to a shop?” his mother scolds, once the doctor has left after prescribing a cleanser and instructions to call her back if the infection spread. “If you had to do that to yourself, dear, why didn’t you have a professional do it? It’s not like we don’t have the money.”

It’s true. Kai’s definitely got the money for it.

or:

the fine line between filial piety and puppetry, told in a series of vignettes about earrings.

          🔺 Kai & Cole, Kai & Nya, Kai & Maya           🔺 Alternate Universe - University, Modern, Monsters           🔺 2054 words, complete           🔺 wild things au           🔺 read it here!

first ninbingo fill!  read it here or on ao3 as linked above :D Fic and board below the cut; my squares were parent(s) and creator’s choice: acceptance!

The first time Kai pierces his ear, he gets an infection in it.

Their family doctor arrives at an hour when she can’t possibly still be on the clock to take a look at him.  She presses gloved fingers to the lobe of his ear, tilting his head back and forth in a not-ungentle way, tutting at the swollenness and red that she finds there.  And Kai stares straight ahead and won’t make eye contact with anyone.

“Oh, Kai, why couldn’t you just have gone to a shop?” his mother scolds, once the doctor has left after prescribing a cleanser and instructions to call her back if the infection spread.  “If you had to do that to yourself, dear, why didn’t you have a professional do it?  It’s not like we don’t have the money.”

It’s true.  Kai’s definitely got the money for it.  He could rent out an entire studio if he wanted, be served tiny drinks the whole time with tiny pink umbrellas poking out the top, blast his (lame-ass, according to Nya) music at top volume from the speakers without anyone able to stop him from doing so.

But the idea sends revulsion trickling down his spine, so much so that he physically shudders with it.  

He nods and pretends to consider her words, and she smiles and runs her fingers through the loose feathers at his neck.

The next time he does it, he makes sure to sterilize his needle first.

---

His father gives him a pair of ruby earrings for his eighteenth birthday.

Objectively, they’re gorgeous.  The stones are perfectly symmetrical and a rich red color.  The tiny diamond chips set around them sparkle in the light.  The gold metal twisting them both together is cool against his skin when he puts the earrings into his ears.

They’re also small, so small that they barely cover his lower lobes, and every centimeter the demurest of earrings.

Kai fastens the backs on the studs.  In the mirror in front of him, they glimmer like pinpricks in his ears.

“Looking handsome there, son,” his father says, smiling at him in the mirror.  He places his hand on Kai’s shoulder, rubbing there gently.  

“Thanks,” Kai says, tilting his head this way and that to try to catch the earrings in the light.  

His father laughs.  “Your mother commissioned these herself.  Now she won’t have to have the stylists put your hair in front of your ears anymore.  Bet you’re glad about that, huh?”  

Kai laughs too.  He steps out from his father’s touch.  “Yeah.  Definitely.”

His father grins.  When he goes, he leaves Kai with one last instruction and a box on his dresser.  “Make sure you wear these to your birthday celebration tonight, alright?”  

When Kai opens the box, he finds a necklace inside that compliments the earrings perfectly.  

He obeys the command and wears both pieces to his birthday celebration.  He smiles and laughs and charms the crowd all through the night.  There are greetings to be given and pictures to be taken and relationships to be strengthened.  It’s his responsibility to see that all of them are accomplished before the night’s out.

The jewelry isn’t heavy.  In fact, it’s the opposite.  But it weighs on his ears and his heart for the entire evening.

---

It’s one of those late nights of studying at university, and Kai sits with his textbooks spread out on the kotatsu in front of him and his computer screen open to his latest set of problems.  

The numbers swim in front of his eyes.  He groans and fights the urge to slam his head against the table.  He has to get this.  As the eldest child, running the company will be his job one day, and he has to get good at numbers before that happens.

Nya could do it, his mind has whispered to him on more than one occasion.  She’s smarter than you, she could do better at the top than you can.  But as much as Kai might think it, might wonder at defying the expectations of his family and society and refusing his destiny, he knows he can’t.  Nya has her whole life ahead of her.  She’s brilliant and she knows what she wants, unlike Kai, who’s predestination from birth ended all that dreaming before it could ever bloom.  

He opens his eyes and glares at his screen.  The unanswered problems stare mockingly back.

“Hey, uh, you doing okay over there?”

Kai glances over his shoulder.  Cole, his roommate and childhood friend, peers at him from the kitchen table.  He’s wearing glasses propped up on his nose and a concerned expression on his face.  

“Yeah,” Kai sighs, and gives in to resting his forehead against the kotatsu’s surface.  “Math.”

Cole laughs a little.  “Math,” he agrees, lion ears relaxing at the top of his head.  He stands up and crosses the room to Kai.  “Oh my gosh, when was the last time you brushed your hair?”

Kai blinks a couple of times at such a non sequitur.  “Huh?”

Cole huffs, and suddenly there are fingers sifting in his hair.  Kai stills before he consciously realizes it.  “Yeah, shit, and your feathers are all out of wack too.  Hold still, I’ll fix them.”

His hands are like magic.  Kai melts into his touch as the minutes tick by, soothed by the repetitive motions and little tugs against his scalp.  Cole starts to gather his hair in a ponytail.  His fingers brush over Kai’s ears as he smooths the strands out.

“You don’t wear earrings anymore,” he remarks.

Kai’s eyes slide open.  “Yeah?”  He tilts his head to the side to see Cole easier.  “Huh.  I guess they just slipped my mind.  I’m so busy with everything else.”

“But not too busy to spend half an hour on your hair?” Cole asks, raising an eyebrow.  He grins when Kai scowls at him.  “What, I’m right!  It’s not like you have to wear them or anything.  I just think that if you really wanted to wear them, you would.  You were so excited when you pierced your ear the first time.”

“You mean the time I got an infection and almost had to get my ear cut off?”

Cole snorts.  “It wasn’t that bad, you drama queen.  The only danger you were in was your mom’s anger.”

“Aren’t I paying you to be nice to me?” Kai asks rhetorically.  “Why aren’t you being nice to me?”

Cole’s fingers stutter in his hair.  “Right, sorry,” he says, returning to his movements, but there’s a slightly different quality to his voice.

“Cole, it’s a joke,” Kai says, twisting around.  He sits up, and Cole steps back.   “It’s okay.  You can ask.”  He runs his hand through his hair, the now-detangled strands passing easily through his fingers.  “I don’t know.  It just- it wasn’t fun anymore.  I pierced my ears because I wanted to, because I wanted to just do something myself, you know?  And then it wasn’t anymore.  Ugh, I’m probably not making any sense.”

“No, I get you.”  Cole grins, and Kai’s relieved that it looks genuine again.  “I’ve been around your crazy family since I was a cub, remember?  I’m probably the person who understands the most.”

“Besides Nya,” they both say at the same time, and break into laughing.

“Thanks,” Kai says, once their laughter has subsided.  “I needed that.”  His eyes land on his computer screen, and panic shoots through him like a flame.  “Crap!  It’s 11:30!”

“Crap!” echoes Cole, and both of them scramble back to their respective workstations to get their assignments done by the midnight deadline.

Later that night, once everything has been submitted and their fate is out of their hands, they curl up on the couch together and watch some superhero movie.  And Cole preens Kai’s hair and feathers until his head is silky smooth beneath his hands.

---

Right before they set off for home on their winter holidays, Kai gets a small box from Cole.

It’s out of the ordinary for them.  Cole usually gives him a New Year’s present, but it’s usually a pack of candy or something and much closer to the date.  Kai takes the box with a bit of surprise.  “Hey, what’s this?” he asks, looking from it to Cole’s face and back again.

Cole grins a bit lopsided.  “So, uh, I know we don’t typically do stuff like this,” he says, echoing Kai’s thoughts.  He puts his hands on his hips and takes them off again.  “But I saw these online the other day and I just immediately thought of you.  Hopefully you’ll like them, but no pressure or anything.”

Intrigued, Kai opens the lid of the box.  Nestled inside is a pair of earrings, gold and formed into facsimiles of the feathers in his hair.  He picks one up, marveling at the weight it has and the chunky, dangly sections of the feather.  

“Cole, these are-”

“You like them?” Cole asks hopefully.  

“Like them- they’re so cool!”  Kai fumbles with the earring.  His piercing hole is a little hard to find, and he’s briefly devastated that it might have closed, but he finds it and the metal slips in with only a little resistance.  The end of the feather brushes against his chin as he beams.  “Dude.  How- but why?”

Cole’s answering grin is almost as bright as the gold in Kai’s hand.  “You said it didn’t feel fun anymore,” he says simply.  “I thought these might help to bring that spark back.”

Kai sweeps him up in a hug.  There’s nothing else he can do.  Cole oofs softly, but a moment later, his hands are coming up to wrap around Kai too.

“They’re perfect,” Kai whispers.  “I love them.  Thank you.”

---

Nya shows up to the family’s New Year’s party with two new piercings.

It’s not the talk of the night- the various promotions, closed deals, and other such business-related ventures occupy that slot- but tittering sweeps through the tables anyway when Nya appears in the door, a blood-red pair of jewels glittering in her upper lobes.  

Nya pays them no mind.  She slides easily into her seat, the only sign of the effect the attention has on her the deepened color of her scales.  “I did them by myself!” she says when one of their aunts asks her about them.  “I think they turned out pretty good.”

“Can you believe it?” gossips the aunt next to Kai, loud enough for him to overhear.  “All by herself!  Oh, I wonder what Maya thinks of that.”

Kai finds his mother near the head of the table, sitting beside his father.  Maya is smiling, but to Kai’s expert eye, he can see the performance to it.  His mother looks surprised.  Nya must have just done them if she didn’t know about it beforehand.

He takes a step into the room.  His mother’s eyes zero in on him immediately.  “Kai,” she says, and yep, she’s seen them.  Instead of making him want to hide, her attention causes something in him to bolster.  

“What earrings are those you are wearing?” she asks.  “Where are the ones we gave you for your birthday?”

I saw these online the other day and I just immediately thought of you.

“Sorry, mom,” Kai says, fighting to keep his sudden swell of happiness from his face.  He has to look appropriately contrite.  “I lost them.”

“Lost them?  Kai, those were incredibly expensive!”

“I’m sorry.  They were just so small, it was impossible to keep track of them.”

He and his mom stare each other down for a moment.  His mother’s lips part, and her eyes are wide.  Then, slowly, the corners of her mouth turn up.  

“Alright, dear.  Next time, perhaps we’ll find you larger ones.”

Kai’s grin pops out, and his heart beats a war in his chest.  “Thanks,” he says.

Both of them know they’re not just talking about new earrings anymore.

His mother smiles back.  “Dinner is about to start," she says.  "You should take your seat now.”

Kai slides into his seat beside Nya.  As conversation starts up again around them, he leans into her side with a whisper.

“Hey.  Nice earrings.”

She grins.  “Thanks.  I was inspired by you.”

And Kai’s answering smile feels as golden as the jewelry in his ears.

[its-deputy-caleb]

Hi do you think you do the 4 lords reaction to finding out their GN s/o has a shadow demon that goes wherever they go and some time find the 2 of them playing board games

Hiii!! okay important note here! i decided to go a little off topic (sorry) for the purpose of a part 2 where the lord’s s/o will be an angel!! of course still gender neutral and there will be a shadow demon but the s/o will be a demon that hasn’t fully formed yet!

i’ve been really uninspired lately so this probably isn’t my best! i apologise :((

Devil or Angel? Pt.1

General HC’s

It was strange how quickly your life had changed. One morning you were just a normal villager in some godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere Romania and the next day you woke up from the cold dirty ground with a pair of huge dark wings and sharp nails.

You had been exploring some of the woodlands surrounding the village, looking for a water source which was running low when a dark figure came barrelling towards you. It felt like hours, when really it was only a few seconds of sharp searing pain. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the village alone.

You didn’t die however, or maybe you did? You weren’t quite sure what was happening to your body. All you knew was it must have been something supernatural to make the huge black wings appear.

“Looks like you finally woke up! Do you know how fucking boring it is just waiting for you to wake up?”

You screamed in terror at the large demonic creature floating above you. It was surrounded by a cloud of black mist with red eyes that pierced through its silhouette. It had a large wicked smile aligned with sharp teeth and a set of wings that matched your own.

Behind those eyes was something much more human however, in fact it looked rather bored.

“Who, or what are you?! And mind that language!”

The creature only laughed at you, amused by the whole situation which bothered you beyond compare.

“Well I’m a demon, if I didn’t swear you’d probably think me an angel with these playful charms I posses! And to be more specific I’m your demon, it seems you fell prey to one of the other demons condemned to this world it’s quite the tragedy really.”

You were shocked at just how easily this creature, this demon talked to you. As if it was a completely normal morning and life in the village had not changed at all.

“Oh don’t act so shocked, you medieval villagers have been worshiping my kind for a lot longer than that Mother Miranda. You’re one of us now!”

Surprisingly over time the creature, who’d you’d nicknamed “red” for their glowing eyes, was slowly growing on you. You might even call them a friend.

Sure Red was cocky as all hell and didn’t hesitate to cause trouble amongst the village but they became very protective over you and showed you the ropes on life as a demon.

Life can get kinda boring when you’re practically immortal and so you and red pass the time playing old Romanian board games and solitaire. When village life got really boring you even stooped so low to play go fish together.

A lot of the time you cause mischief in and around the village while Red was practically the devil on your shoulder, egging you on to stir the pot. The lycans were particularly enjoyable to taunt.

Regardless of everything, you couldn’t see yourself without Red and to lose them would crush you. There had been one too many nights when you’d chat about everything and nothing until you fell asleep curled up underneath your wings.

That was when you felt a protective wing curl around you, one that wasn’t your own.

“Always gotta fall asleep on me don’t you, huh? Don’t worry, I’ll have you partying all night before you know it kiddo.”

Alcina Dimitrescu

It started out as a stupid dare when Red dared you to sneak into Castle Dimitrescu and steal the Lady’s lipstick after hearing the village gossip that it was expensive.

You did not expect however to get caught in the hallway, starting straight up into the eyes of Alcina Dimitrescu, a stuttering and blushing mess. It was something that Red would tease you for until eternity ended.

After winning her favour, both you and Red were invited to stay in the Castle with Alcina and her daughters. She thought you were much better company than her brother and her affluent but gothic lifestyle totally appealed to you.

As it turns out you and Alcina had a lot more in common, both being creatures of a supernatural nature. You enjoyed the lazy afternoons curled up on the couch, a glass of maidens blood in your hand as she gentle stroked the back of her hand against your wings.

You had the finest outfits that matched your black wings perfectly and everything was tailor made so you were comfortable.

Red taught you how to fly so you were able to use your wings to be at eye level with Alcina which was perfect for hugs and kisses.

It turns out that Red is a great babysitter for the girls and keeps them entertained with hunting maidens and chasing them around the Castle while you and Alcina can spend some time together.

Donna Beneveinto

At first, Donna is truly scared of you and Red much like how you were in the beginning. But eventually, with the help of Angie she saw that you were not going to harm her.

You loved to spend time with Donna and watch her make her dolls or sew her dresses. Sometimes Red will come back with Angie from a day of causing trouble to find you reading to her another encyclopaedia of plants. Her head is resting on your chest and your wings are wrapped around her protectively while you read.

Your favourite thing to do together is to take Donna into your arms and fly to the top of the mountain where the waterfall begins and watch the sunset together. She’ll always have a deathly grip on your hand the whole time even though you’ve reassured her that you’d never drop her.

One time when you leaned in and gave her a kiss, a rather loud noise was heard from the corner and interrupted you.

“EWWW you guys are too cute!! All that lovey-dovey stuff makes me sick!”

Red is standing to the side with Angie on their shoulder who is sitting there making her own dramatic faces. One of Angie’s wooden hands covers Red’s eyes while the other is held on her forehead as if the kiss was enough to kill her.

Besides from their comment both Angie and Red act like your wing man for your relationship with Donna. They absolutely love you two together and have set up many dates for the two of you.

Salvatore Moreau

You meet Salvatore Moreau one day when you’re at the reservoir playing hide and seek in the near by mines with Red.

As it’s your turn to hide you end up ducking between some planks to find a tv set up and a small couch. Sitting in the middle of it happens to be someone you now know as Sal.

He thought you were going to kill him at first, hiding his face in his hands but very slowly after some months he saw that you weren’t a threat.

Over this time trying to convince Sal that you weren’t going to hurt him and trying to spend more time with him, Red took the opportunity to tease you for your crush.

“I think someone’s in got a little crush hmm??”

Eventually you become very close with Sal and the two of you will playfully chase each other at the reservoir. Sal will swim just below the surface while you fly just above it and your fingers brush together just where the water meets the air.

One time when you were chasing Red around the rooftops of the old village, you slipped and fell into the water, something that your large feathery wings did not enjoy and Red had to pull you out.

You ended up bundled on the couch with Sal, a bunch of blankets around you as your wings dried out. It took forever and you ended up a giant bundle of fluffy feathers but Sal thought you looked adorable.

Karl Heisenberg

Karl caught you and Red taunting the lycans when he went to check on them at their den one day. At the site of you two he raised an eyebrow and proceeded to light a cigar.

“I think you two may be lost, don’t you know it’s dangerous out here?”

You can hear the sarcasm in his voice and you spread your wings out to be intimidating, Red’s black mist behind you adding to it.

“Indeed it is very dangerous out here, I’d hate for you to get hurt.”

It was then when the three of you burst into a fit of laughter knowing that you were the strongest creatures in these woods and nothing could really hurt either of you.

Both you and Karl had a mischievous side and spent a lot of time causing trouble for his sister in her Castle.

It was fun to spend time with Karl and you both grew rather close. He even trusted you enough to let you help him on some of his plans and designs.

Red was particularly fond of the idea of killing Mother Miranda.

“Ooh when she’s gone can I have my picture put back up?! Pretty please!”

Karl designed his soldats with a red glowing chest plate that reminded him of your red glowing eyes which now matched Red’s.

While Karl will deny it forever, he’s completely in awe of you and finds you absolutely breathtaking. He can’t get over how soft your wings are and always cuddles up to you complaining that it’s cold even though it’s sweltering hot in the factory.

One day Karl took you by surprise and kissed you gently but with a degree of confidence which took him months to find. You melted into him and wrapped your arms around him securely, completely forgetting Red who’s hovering in the room.

“Guys I hate to break it to you but I’m kinda third wheeling here…”

Needless to say, Red third wheeled a lot and ended up befriend Sturm as an alternative to watching you guys make out.

[moiraineswife]

Jasnah and Wit - Presentation Meta

Part 1 of the great saga of Witsnah “WELL ACTUALLY” metas I plan on doing bc y’all have just pushed me That Far. 

Well hello there. I’m GRUMPY. And what I do when I’m grumpy is I channel it into a little thing called spite meta. That’s what this is. It’s me angrily yelling for several thousand words about why this thing is a GOOD thing, actually. 

Today’s subject, the much controversial post Rhythm of War canon pairing that is: Wit/Jasnah. 

So let’s (angrily) explore why this is actually a positive thing for both characters, on a nuanced, meta, character analysis level. Because that’s the only level that I have. 

I admit, I was sceptical and uncertain. But when I actually sat and thought about this for a hot second...It started making a lot of sense to me. And then I thought about it for, like, a hot minute, and it made a LOT of sense to me. And now I’ve thought about it for a hot month, so come. Step into my thoughts, and I will explain my perspective on this all…

Firstly we’re going to talk about clothes. Yes, clothes. Clothes and  what they symbolise for this pair, together and individually. 

He was immaculate, as always, with his perfectly styled hair and sharp black suit. For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over. - RoW, 64

Wit and Jasnah have bonded over the idea of presentation and the effects it can create. Both of them have used this idea to great effect multiple times in the series. Wit displays himself as a more appropriate form of an Alethi highprince at war - a crisp, tailored, military suit in a colour that makes him instantly and easily identifiable in a crowd. It’s part of his subtle mockery of those around him - that the King’s Wit is a better presented highprince than the REAL highprinces. It also makes him recognisable, and it makes him seem professional and able to move easily in high society. 

Equally, we’ve seen him take the guise of a poor beggar so as to sneak into Kholinar and go unnoticed and dismissed when he sneaks into the palace to recover Design in Oathbringer. 

Jasnah, meanwhile, gives a memorable and impactful speech to Shallan at the beginning of Words of Radiance about the illusion of perception. About how by presenting herself as a princess, looking the way others expect, she is able to effectively use her authority. And would be able to similarly do so if she simply convinced people she was a princess, by manipulating their perception of her.

Both Jasnah and Wit understand this idea - of presenting yourself, not necessarily in the way you want to look, but in the way you want others to look at you. Creating for them the thing you want them to see, which enables you to better be that thing. 

It also runs deeper than that. They’re not just people who like to dress well. They understand that this has a power to it. They understand the effect it will have over others. And it’s this deeper thing that I believe they’ve bonded over. 

Because they don’t simply appear put together in their clothes; they appear put together in their everything. Wit and Jasnah are people who are consistently calm and composed regardless of the situation. They do it in very different ways. Jasnah  with calculating stoicism and intellectual calm. Wit with indifferent frivolity and nonchalant acceptance of what’s happening around him. 

The core effect is the same. When the walls are crumbling down, the armies are sweeping in, and everything’s on fucking fire, Wit and Jasnah are two people you expect to be able to look to for direction and a bit of sanity amidst the chaos. 

They’ve both cultivated personalities and personas that revolve around appearing and seeming in control and unperturbed whatever is happening. It’s like their whole Thing. 

So the presentation is not only about clothes and make up, it’s about who they are deep down as people. The fact that they’re always the strong ones. Always the ones in control. Always the ones who aren’t panicking despite the fact that everything’s on fucking fire. 

They’re  people that others EXPECT to behave a certain way. There’s a predictability to them. A dependability. In Wit’s case, it’s that you can rely on him to be esoteric, confusing, and unpredictable, but still. 

There’s a pressure in that. There’s a pressure in always being THAT put together. In always being THAT on top of things. In always being THAT person who can never break down screaming when things go wrong because that’s not who they are and not what people expect. They have to be more than that. They have to be BETTER than that. 

They’re also people that other characters tend to other/deify. Shallan remarks several times about Jasnah being inhuman/beyond ordinary people, and even goes so far as to compare her to the divine, despite her being a heretic. 

Wit, meanwhile, gets asked if he’s a Herald, has that odd air of always knowing things that he shouldn’t, and being in places he shouldn’t at the right times. 

They’re both ‘positively’ outcast. And I don’t mean that in an overly posh English way and being positively outcast, darling. What I mean is that, instead of being shunted outside of the circle of normality, they’re both placed on pedestals above it. Which is a different sort of outcast, but comes with its own package of problems. 

And this brings us to: vulnerability. Because they’ve bonded over this presentation thing, but they’ve ALSO bonded over the fact that they’ve found someone they don’t have to do that around all the time. Someone they can let their guard down with and just be themselves. Someone they don’t have to present and perform for. Someone they can just be HUMAN with. 

So we’re going to look more closely at the clothing aspect of this. Because there’s symbolism here, and it deeply interests me. With a focus on Jasnah, because Wit’s a mystery by design, and Jasnah’s got some more intentional stuff going on here I feel, re narrative symbolism. 

So from the moment we’re introduced to her, Jasnah always looks immaculate. She always looks perfectly put together. Shallan remarks multiple times on her havah, on her make up, on the intricate and perfectly done braids of her hair. Which is a little bit gay on Shallan’s part (which is valid) but it’s also significant, symbolically. 

I talked already about Jasnah’s idea of ‘power is an illusion of perception’, but I feel it’s worth coming back to. Both because of how much it shapes Shallan, but also how much it shapes Jasnah, and informs what we know about her. 

Jasnah is ALWAYS put together. She is ALWAYS perfectly made up, the absolute ideal of the perfect Alethi princess. Even in scenes of distress or ‘downtime’ scenes - such as waiting for Shallan in the hospital, or visiting her after her betrayal, or the relatively more relaxed setting being on board the Wind’s Pleasure. The text makes a point to note that Jasnah is perfectly done up and presenting exactly as she wishes. 

The times we see slips in that are DEEPLY interesting to me. 

The first one I want to look at, briefly, is That Controversial Scene in the way of kings, where Jasnah uses Soulcasting to kill the men who attacked her and Shallan in the alley. 

Just prior to this we see her bathing, where Shallan still remarks on how composed Jasnah is. This is also part of her presentation. She’s entirely naked, but that illusion is still up. She’s still more in control than other people are fully clothed. 

What I find interesting is the specific note that Jasnah does not take the time to have her hair braided before she sets out with Shallan. It’s mentioned as being unbound a few times. 

Symbolically, I like this, because I feel like it speaks to a slight loosening of her usual control. There’s something about that scenario that sets Jasnah on edge. There’s something about it that makes her feel. 

Besides, men like those…” There was something in her voice, an edge Shallan had never heard before.

What was done to you? Shallan wondered with horror. And who did it?

Shallan is unnerved because Jasnah seems calm. But I get the sense, from this line, and from the intense repetition of how unnaturally composed Jasnah appears, that her composure is a front. And that if we had her perspective on this scene, it would look very different from how Shallan imagines it. 

There’s something driving her here. Something beyond the logic she explains to Shallan, about making the city safer, about the guards not doing anything, about how innocent women will not be able to protect themselves from this, and how she wanted those men gone. All of which I believe is true, but that line from Shallan, and the way in which Jasnah goes about this...It feels personal. There’s something else going on behind the scenes that we don’t know or understand.

Regardless. This is the first time we see Jasnah step out of the cultured, reserved, stoic scholar. She’s something other than an ideal Alethi princess and studious mentor in this scene. And the detail of her hair being unbound, contained, wild, for the first time since we’ve met her feels..Significant. It’s an important detail to linger on, I think. 

Which brings us to the next exception to Jasnah’s exceptional presentation rule: her murder! 

Even in the scene before where we see Jasnah, arguably, the most vulnerable that we’ve seen her, in the cabin when Shallan confronts her about her fear of the upcoming apocalypse. It’s only a moment. Only a moment of genuine emotion that Shallan manages to glimpse before the mask comes back. 

This was not the Jasnah that Shallan was accustomed to seeing. The confidence had been overwhelmed by exhaustion, the poise replaced by worry. Jasnah started to write something, but stopped after just a few words. She set down the pen, closing her eyes and massaging her temples. A few dizzy-looking spren, like jets of dust rising into the air, appeared around Jasnah’s head. Exhaustionspren.

Shallan pulled back, suddenly feeling as if she’d intruded upon an intimate moment. Jasnah with her defenses down. Shallan began to creep away, but a voice from the floor suddenly said, “Truth!”

Startled, Jasnah looked up, eyes finding Shallan—who, of course, blushed furiously.

Jasnah turned her eyes down toward Pattern on the floor, then reset her mask, sitting up with proper posture. “Yes, child?”

The text notes in this segment that Jasnah’s poise and presentation is a mask, but it also describes it as her ‘defenses’. This is her armour. It stops people looking too close. It stops them reading her emotion, her weaknesses. This is also one of very few times we see Jasnah attracting spren in the series. 

However, even in this scene, clearly exhausted, overworked, and overwhelmed, Jasnah remains perfectly put together. All of her armour, her immaculate  havah, her make-up, her braids, are all in place. Even in this moment. 

Which makes a stark contrast to the next scene we find her in where she’s dressed only in a “thin nightgown”, and is lying on the floor with a sword in her chest. The vulnerability of unexpected assassination. 

When next we see Jasnah, in the epilogue, is when she’s freshly spat out of Shadesmar after an apparently harrowing ordeal. 

Her clothing was ragged, her hair formed into a single utilitarian braid, her face lashed with burns. She’d once worn a fine dress, but that was tattered. She’d hemmed it at the knees and had sewn herself a glove out of something improvised. Curiously, she wore a kind of leather bandolier and a backpack. He doubted she’d had either one when her journey had begun.

Even in another plane, apparently being hounded and in fear of her life, she’s managed to acquire some appropriate clothing, a glove, and a damn bandolier. Because of course she has. Perception. Iconic. 

After that we don’t see her out of anything beyond her famous havah-braids-make up combo. Even when she’s with her family, and Navani remarks in her setting down the mask of the queen, she remains masked. There are still defences up. She never fully lets her family in on her plans, or her thoughts and fears. 

No, the next time we see her symbolically, and emotionally, vulnerable: is with Wit. Perhaps for the first time, fully, without ANY of her usual masks and pretences, and under her own steam and of her own volition. 

Locked away in a central room on the second level—sharing no walls with the outside, alone save for Wit’s company—she could finally let herself relax.

She DELIBERATELY picks a house with a second floor, and an interior  room with no outside walls, with multiple fabrial traps to warn of assassins or intruders. But she manages to relax in  Wit’s company. There’s a trust there. An understanding. A much needed vulnerability. 

Clothing wise, in this scene Jasnah is dressed only in a nightgown and a dressing gown, and is carefully noted to have her safehand uncovered. Jasnah isn’t Vorin, strictly speaking, but she’s still been raised her entire life in a society that views safehands as something inherently sexual/to be hidden. So much so that she takes the time and care to sew herself a safehand glove while in Shadesmar. So all of this is a fairly Big Deal. It’s a Big Deal for anyone. For Jasnah? More miraculous than Kaladin giggling. 

Jasnah Kholin is not vulnerable. Jasnah Kholin is never unguarded. Jasnah Kholin never willingly lets her guard down. Jasnah Kholin is absolutely as paranoid as Elhokar, if not more so. 

She’s made herself a BUNKER at this point. She’s in an interior room, surrounded by traps, there’s spheres sewn into her dressing gown, and she has a wholeass BOAT waiting for her in Shadesmar JUST IN CASE someone manages to get through: guards, an entire BUILDING, multiple rigged traps, then her, with her plate, her blade, her Soulcasting ability, and all of her wit and skill, to somehow manage to wound her badly enough that she has to retreat to Shadesmar. 

This woman does not do trust. She does not do vulnerability. To the point that it is absolutely 1000000% a fault. This IS Jasnah’s greatest flaw. Her isolation. Her mistrust. Her paranoia. 

Anyone that comes into her life she’s suspicious of. She blithely warns Shallan about Kabsal stating he’s only using her to get close to Jasnah to steal from her/kill her. 

We dismiss this, and look at it as brilliance/Jasnah knowing all, because she’s right. But it’s flawed brilliance. Because it’s the ‘broken clock’ fallacy, you know? If you suspect EVERYONE around you of being an assassin...Well, some of them will be. 

Jasnah’s paranoia is another meta, however. But the point here is that: Jasnah doesn’t do anything by halves. She has an ideal for how she wants to live her life and she COMMITS to it. And part of that is her presentation, and the perception she projects, to an unhealthy degree, even around trusted family. 

So the fact she has found someone she can relax all of her INCREDIBLY strict and overzealous masking and enforced personal presentation? Is both very significant in terms of her relationship with Wit, but also herSELF? 

Because Jasnah NEEDS this. She needs it like Kaladin needs therapy yesterday. 

Jasnah is a “strong independent woman” but if you double down on that idea, and follow it up with “Jasnah is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man/anyone” then you are absolutely 1000% missing the whole entire point of her character. 

All the Stormlight characters are deconstructions of classical fantasy tropes, to varying extents. 

Jasnah is the ‘strong independent woman’ trope except asking what if you ACTUALLY apply that to an actual human person? What would that do to them? How would that hurt them? And what it does is everything Jasnah is.

Which has been done so MASTERFULLY because we look at all of these flaws, and these objectively negative things that she does to cope with having this label slapped onto her, and we golf clap quietly in a corner and go ‘wow that’s so badass, that’s so cool, let’s totally romantacise all of these actually deeply worrying coping mechanisms and not look at them at all until Brandon smashes us in the face with them like a baseball bat with the nails of Jasnah’s trauma pounded into it’. 

Okay maybe that was SLIGHTLY dramatic. But my point is: Jasnah’s apparent omniscience can also be looked at as extreme paranoia and mistrust. 

Her independence and ability to ‘get shit done’ on her own, to the point she doesn’t tell another living soul about the LITERAL APOCALYPSE for more than HALF A DECADE is actually self-inflicted dangerous isolation. 

Her constantly being poised, and on her game, and never displaying any emotion is actually extreme repression, to the point her own MOTHER describes her as ‘having the empathy of a corpse’. 

Her consistent othering by all of the other characters, from her ward to her mother, deifying her, and othering her, and considering her immortal is actually putting her on a pedestal and cramming an INCREDIBLE amount of pressure to reach an impossible, unattainable, and inhuman level of perfection that becomes so normalised and commonplace that her return from the dead is just like ‘well yeah that’s just Jasnah’. 

And all of these things are INCREDIBLY unhealthy!!! They’re not something any real person should have to do just to exist. Especially not in the middle of an apocalypse. When her father was killed in front of her. And then her brother was murdered. And the apocalypse she tried to warn everyone about is happening. And she’s the most experienced Radiant. And she’s also suddenly a queen of her kingdom. Which has been taken over by the enemy btw. And they’re in the middle of a war. And people are dying. And she’s responsible for those people dying. But also some of her highprinces are treacherous bastards. And oh look here’s a couple of slightly mad Heralds she’s taken charge of and- OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HER NAP!? 

Again. Slight hyperbole on my end but I feel like I’m #Justified. The point is, her suddenly, after FOUR books, having a single person that she can confide in, and be vulnerable with, and admit she’s afraid, and uncertain, and doesn’t know what she’s doing, and isn’t sure she can actually do this, is not ~anti-feminist~ and it’s not “out of character” and it’s not damaging her ideal it’s actually deeply positive, and healthy, and a symptom of Character Growth. 

Jasnah’s is choosing Wit. With her eyes wide open. And she has some reservations about things, because she’s JASNAH, of course she does. But she listens to him. She confides in him. She lets him see HER. She lets him help HER. She admits that she needs that help. She actually says to him, out loud, with full human words, to his face, right in front of him, that she’s frightened. SHE ADMITS THIS!!! Jasnah’s having all this stealth background character development that y’all are sleeping on but I am personally deeply hype about. 

And it’s because Wit UNDERSTANDS her. And she understands him. And this is really the crux and core of this whole relationship for me, you know? This whole idea around them always being The Strong One. and finally FINALLY (for him, too) having someone that they don’t have to be strong for. Or regal. Or composed. Or poised. Or in control. Or even knowing what the fuck they’re doing. 

She can just...Be. She can ask questions. And show uncertainty. And admit to fear. And to doubt, of herself, of the other Radiants, of humanity in general. And have someone to look to, when everyone is ALWAYS looking at her. 

It’s the beginning of an actual support system. Because she needs this SO badly. Because she has her family but she also...Doesn’t have her family? She looks after them. She protects them. From assassins, and then from what was happening in the world/her role in it. Because there’s that line in Oathbringer that she has, about people loving her but still hurting her. 

Navani mentions that after she hit adolescence (and after her parents locked her in a dark room and let her scream herself hoarse because they called her mad, lol) she withdrew. And she no longer asked questions. And she no longer wanted a mother, or a support figure, or someone to take care of her. She rejected all notions of that. Because there was something broken there. That trust was gone. And Jasnah will set aside the crown, and the mask of the queen around her family, but she is only fully vulnerable, and fully HERSELF with Wit. 

And I cannot understate (i feel like I’m doing a Good Job of not understating this here people) how absolutely fucking ESSENTIAL that is. 

Jasnah is NOT a machine. She is not a divine being beyond trauma and pain. She is a human being who has suffered, and who has responses to this. 

Jasnah accepting Wit’s support and companionship is as big a step in processing and healing from her trauma as Kaladin accepting he can’t protect everyone and does not deserve to always carry that guilt. 

I don’t care if you don’t like the ship. I don’t care if you think it was rushed (there was...a year long time skip. Things did not remain in stasis. Things changed. This is an interesting narrative device bringing us into them and letting us extrapolate backwards). I don’t care if you hate the bones of Hoid and never want to see him on screen: I DON’T CARE. 

If you have any respect and regard for Jasnah as a character I need you to acknowledge that this relationship is a positive and healthy thing for her. I need you to see that it’s a step forwards. I need you to see that, from a purely narrative standpoint: this is a thing that should be celebrated for her. 

In terms of Wit, too, this is a good thing. I am not about one-sided relationships where only one person is getting something out of it. Even when that one person is the light of my life Jasnah Kholin who deserves all the things ever. 

For all his talk of frivolity, he knew exactly how to present himself. It was something they’d bonded over.

Coming back to this RoW quote let me make things as abundantly clear as possible re why I’ve bonded over this ship: They’re kindred spirits. They understand each other. In a way that no-one else has understood them for Jasnah possibly ever, for Wit in a very very very very very very very very very long time. 

They’re both brilliant. They’re both intellectually at the pinnacle of humanity. They both know that. They’re also both damaged. They both  cover up that damage with a carefully crafted presentation. Jasnah’s is regal composure and Wit’s flamboyant nonchalance, but it’s a mask in both cases. 

They understand each other. And they understand the need to have what they’ve found in one another: someone they don’t have to be that way around. Someone they can just be with. Someone who understands why they have to be that way with everyone else; but can give them the freedom to be themselves. 

Such parallel. Much power. Very choice. 

I was gonna talk about Other Stuff in this meta but lol. 4k words of clothes screaming later and I feel like maybe this should be part 1 of an ongoing saga. Ahem. 

The take away from this is: I totally understand why Brandon put these two characters together. For the amount of characters he has, he actually has relatively few romantic relationships. None of them are done on a whim, and they’re always healthy, mutual, and positive for both characters. They make sense, in short. 

And these two as a pairing makes sense. On more than a “”””business transaction””””” level of them wanting and getting information out of one another. It makes sense even if there was no Desolation, and no threat to the world, and they were two randomers who met in a tavern and connected. 

There’s a personal connection there. There’s an intimacy, and an understanding, and a sense of looking into another person’s eyes and saying ‘yes. You know. You feel it too’. They go through life in much the same way - standing out, never quite fitting, never finding anyone on their level that can relate to them or compete with them or challenge them. 

They have someone who can fulfil them. Someone who can actually meet and exceed their abilities for once. But equally someone who can ground them, and meet them at their lowest point, and allow and even encourage that vulnerability. 

TL;DR: this relationship is positive for both characters, and healthy, and important for both and this is a hill I WILL fucking die upon. Just watch me. 

More metas to follow. Bc I have more to say. Not as long as this one, in all likelihood, bc I feel like this is the Lynchpin argument for this pair. But still. More to say.

[swcetnight]

It’s Definitely You || kth (m.) 1

synopsis:

Working as a barista in NYC has its perks, but when your ultimate dream of being on the Broadway stage tends to come crumbling down, the only thing that raises your spirits is the comfort of a complete stranger… who seems to have known you for far longer than you thought.

masterlist here

→ pairing: taehyung x barista!reader (also musical theatre performer cause I had to)

→ genre: fluff, angst, future smut | strangers(ish) to lovers… i won’t give the truth away... gonna have to read and find out for yourself ;))

-> warnings: self doubt, adorable plant names... there's really not many warnings for this chapter!

→ word count: 7,973

authors note:

alrighty everyone... here we go! (i’m so nervous) this is the first chapter of this series (which it took me 50 years to figure out whether I wanted this to be a series or a two shot... lets just say that it's gonna be a long one, so I think that a series is the best way to go)! this story is really near and dear to my heart, so 1. I really hope you enjoy it and 2. I hope all of you know how hard it was to write this into words... my goodness. now, make sure you look for clues throughout this series... there's a secret in here that won't be revealed for a while ;)) but if any of you have ideas, please be sure to send an ask while we wait to find out together! anyways, I hope you enjoy !!

authors thanks:

a HUGE thank you to @hantaev and @monvante for beta-reading and being so so supportive of me and this little (but not so little) story... y'all truly have no idea how helpful you've been and how thankful I am to be friends with both of you! forreal, y'all are the greatest and I'm sending you all my love!!

also, if you are enjoying this story, please don’t hesitate to send me an ask (on or off anon) and let me know your thoughts, feelings, theories, etc!! i would love to hear from all of you 🤍

If time-travel existed, you would be on the first time machine and head back to 2 years ago. A time when you had a free schedule and were able to go out on Friday nights. A time when you felt confident in yourself and were raring to pursue theatre. A time when you didn't have this job (cause apparently, theatre is impossible to get into) that forces you awake at 4 in the morning for the opening shift.

You can't say you don't love your Barista job because you do. Still, when your alarm wakes you from the beautiful dream of performing on the big stage, you have to use everything within yourself to crawl out of your sheet cocoon… and that is unacceptable.

What's even more unacceptable is the fact that your co-worker, Jimin, hasn't arrived at the Academia Cafe yet. You have about 30 minutes to prepare for the morning peak; brew coffees, set up the bakery items, clear the boards "coffee of the day," etc. The problem is, it takes up all of the 30 allotted minutes— and you can't start prepping early because Jimin has the keys to the cafe.

You’ve worked at the Academia Cafe for about a year now, taking a break from your endless theatre audition schedule— since that was getting you absolutely nowhere. No matter how badly you want it, nothing seems to work. No matter how many times you practice, it never seems to be good enough. Let’s just say, you took this job at the cafe because you were over the repetitive let downs.

… But here you are, with a “Jimin being late” let down.

[To: Jimin ☕️] hey, you almost here? times ticking, keys!

You stuff your phone into your winter coat pocket, the brown material catching snowflakes as they fall gently from the cloudy sky. You love this weather; it's always been your favorite. When you were little, you used to pretend to be a dragon; running all over your front yard and releasing heavy breaths that chilled in the air and spread like smoke. You don't enjoy the cold, but the entire feel of winter has you cozying up in a blanket with hot cocoa and a good book… nothing could beat that.

A buzz in your pocket catches your attention.

[From: Jimin ☕️] Hey! Look up.

Your eyes immediately lift to see Jimin smiling a few feet away, shuffling through the snow as he drags the keys out of his pocket. He's sporting a heavy blue coat that reaches down to his knees — making his short stature appear even smaller — topped with a matching blue beanie. Despite his tardiness today, you’ve always been fond of Jimin. He's like a ray of sunshine, beaming through the skyscrapers of the city and making everyone around him happy just by flashing a single smile. Honestly, you wish you could sneak some of that happiness from him and lock it somewhere safe... so you can save it for a time when you need it most.

"Your timing is impeccable." He laughs, gently placing the keys into the front door lock. "You texted me right as I was rounding the corner."

"I'm telling you, Jimin; we're always on the same wavelength."  Smirking, you make your way through the doors of the cafe, greeted by the warmth that surrounds you like your sheet cocoon did this morning, but accompanied by the smell of fresh coffee. "Except for the fact that you, my friend, are late, so now we only have twenty-eight minutes until opening."

Old, rustic book pages litter the cafe's dark walls, executing the dark academia theme flawlessly. You have to give the interior designers a hand, what with the black stools and high dark wood counters etched with different story pages. You wonder if anyone took the time to read the stories that covered the cafe; maybe the stories moved them in a personal way. Maybe there was a reason why they read them, a part of the butterfly effect of their life.

With a quick survey of the main room, you shuffle into the back to put your belongings away. "You would think it would be less busy on the streets because of the snow," Jimin calls, already working on the first batch of light roast coffee. "But unfortunately for me, that was not the case, and I nearly lost my life multiple times on the way here because of how slick it is."

A laugh emits from your lips, echoing in the backroom as you throw your apron over your head.

You begin with date labeling all of the pastry items, placing them accordingly onto the pastry cart; croissants, muffins, scones, etc. Then, you move onto organizing syrups and setting toppings along the bar where drinks are made. Bar is your personal favorite position-- since you're able to make the drinks… Plus, you're so busy that your shift goes by way faster. The sooner you're done, the sooner you get to go home and sleep.

“All set?” Jimin questions when you finish setting the steaming pitchers next to the espresso machine, tossing the rag he used to wipe down tables into the sanitizer bin. You give him a nod, taking a quick once over of the bar. “Alright,” he claps, “let's do this.”

This morning runs like every Friday morning, busy and fast. The sounds of coffee glasses clinking and the calling of customer names at the hand-off station echoes through the air.

Ahhhh, the scenery in coffee shops; the quiet hush over the room as soft jazz plays over the speakers. It’s soothing, all encompassing, and extremely helpful for motivation… You used to go to a local cafe for homework when you were still in school.

You take a breath, relaxing against the back counter as you overhear a conversation a group of regulars are having. It’s the usual small talk: the weather, families, sharing pictures of recent events. Coming up with questions of the day for customers becomes easier after knowing their stories, so you subconsciously listen in often.

Because of this, you almost don't notice the man waiting at the register, wholly delved into the neighboring conversation— only looking over when you hear your name called.

"Y/n?"

You turn your head, catching eyes with the stranger behind the counter who holds his credit card ready. The first thing you notice is that he's young, probably around your age, wearing a brown turtleneck and white slacks. His eyes are dark, standing above his perfectly sculpted nose and lips. His hair is dark as well, forehead drowning within the wavy bangs that fall over his eyebrows as he takes you in. To be completely honest, he's probably the most handsome man you've had the pleasure of seeing… is that weird? You don’t know him… maybe that is weird.

The second thing you notice is that he looks completely anxious, hands grasping the edge of the counter like there's a thousand-foot drop below him. Why is he looking straight at you while doing that? Maybe you should call Jimin to take ove-

“Is it really you?” He questions, taking you aback.

"I-" You clear your throat, walking forward to meet him at the register, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

With an intake of breath, he releases the counter as he studies you. Was he… crying? You swear his eyes were not this bloodshot three seconds ago.

"You-" He pauses, taking another sharp breath and running a hand through his hair. If you thought he couldn't get more attractive, you were wrong. "Do you know me?"

Attractive? Yes. Psycho?...possibly.

You shake your head slightly, “I… I’m sorry. I don't-"

Wait… is he a regular? You swear you haven't seen him come into the cafe before. Shoot.. What if he is? The number one thing your boss has made perfectly clear: remember the regulars, so they come back and feel at home; recognized. Customer connection was the most important thing at the Academia Cafe… He's probably a regular.

“I’m so sorry, there're so many people that come to visit us and sometimes I forget the regulars!” You apologize. “That’s my fault… remind me of your name again?”

He's staring at you. Full-on staring, jaw slacked. Shifting uncomfortably in your keds, you eye beside you to see Jimin working away at a macchiato. You consider changing places, nearly walking over to him before the customer speaks again.

"It's- It's Taehyung."

You force a smile, nodding while he continues to stare at you. He seems a bit more hesitant, his eyes looking in different directions but ultimately falling back onto your own. Even if he tried, he couldn't hide the rosy color that spreads onto his cheeks. What was this guy's problem?

"Taehyung! Awesome, well, what can I get for you today?" You chirp, attempting to brighten up your increasing discomfort. He might have mistook you for someone else, you decide, jumping back into your customer service personality: kind and quick to the point.

Taehyung doesn't move, training his eyes on you. You've never had a man's undivided attention before, since boyfriends were never an option. When you were a teenager, you stayed home most of the time in your hometown, and the boys there were all just in it to take your pants off. You avoided them and never really caught their attention, so you can't help the uncomfortable blush that grows on your cheeks. It’s short lived though, your nerves dissolving as soon as you notice a single tear fall onto the front of his shirt.

Oh. Okay, he’s definitely crying.

"Sir..." You begin, leaning in closer to avoid drawing attention. "Is everything alright?"

"I…" The shake in his voice is evident as he puts his credit card back into his wallet, still refusing to break eye contact. “Excuse me." Without another word, he turns on his heel and rushes towards the exit, clocking a customer in the shoulder in his rush. He apologizes quickly, bowing to them before glancing behind to make eye contact with you once more.

You wish you could read minds, wondering what the hell is going through his brain… but you notice the tiniest gleam of a hopeful smile that hides on his lips.

And then he’s gone.

“I swear it was the strangest thing, Jimin.” You speak nervously, tugging at the strings of your apron and lifting it over your head. It had been busy all day, despite a quick thirty minute break when everyone had left and the cafe was suddenly a deserted island. You appreciated the busyness, it made your shift go by faster. Right now, all you wanted to do was go home, eat a fat bowl of icecream and distract yourself from the events of today with a movie. Thank God your shift was over.

“Maybe he thought you were someone else?” Jimin insists, taking a bite into the extra Blueberry Muffin you’d accidentally heated when you were distracted by the events that occurred earlier.

“Yeah? Well, I must be the spitting image because he was totally freaked out.”

“You never know, y/n. Or, maybe he just used that as an excuse to talk to you.” You could hear the smirk in his voice, throwing your rolled up apron at him harshly before you grab your belongings.

“Ha, ha, you’re hilarious. This guy looked like he had seen his ex… He was crying. I don’t think he was into me.”

“Maybe his eyes were watering from the cold wind?” He offers.

“Enough to cry actual tears?” You scoffed, “C’mon Jimin.”

He shrugs defensively, picking up his things so the two of you can head out a few minutes earlier than usual. Whenever the baristas have a chance to leave early, they take it. “If he comes back, then ask him: hey, dude, what’s your deal?”Jimin works his way through the cafe, throwing an excess chair upside down onto the table with the rest of them.

You hold your hand above your heart, which is still beating at a faster pace due to this discussion. Can hearts even beat this fast? This can’t be healthy… “Oh wow, you have such a way with words. That definitely won’t make him feel uncomfortable!”

Yes. Sarcasm coping mechanism.

“Y/n.” Jimin meets you at the door and puts his hands on your shoulders, making extra sure he has your attention. “Go home. Don’t think too much into it… He was probably high or something and mistook you for his ex that dumped him and now he’s moping through the city and getting into all sorts of trouble and he’ll forget that he even came here tomorrow morning. Okay?”

You nod slowly, exiting the cafe with Jimin on your tail. "Don't worry, y/n." Jimin adds, "He probably won't even come back." He locks the door and gives you one last thumbs up before heading in the opposite direction, calling out at the last second. “See you tomorrow!”

The forced smile on your face appears again (looks like this was a regular occurrence today), waving him goodbye.

Yeah… tomorrow.

Jimin was right. The handsome crying stranger was probably never coming back.

It has been a few weeks since you met him for the first time. Now, it feels like a distant memory. He hadn’t shown up to the cafe the day after the encounter, or the day after that, or the day after that, and eventually you’d come to the conclusion that he was probably never going to show his face again out of pure embarrassment. You can’t say you blame him. You’d be embarrassed too if you stared at and cried over a random stranger.

Still, you couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment... You'd kind of hoped you could figure out what his problem was, maybe ease his mind a little if you really did look like a past lover. You would make sure he knew that it wasn't you. What if he was avoiding the cafe because he literally thought you were someone else? Great… now you just feel bad.

"Y/n? Are you listening?" Jimin beckons over the phone.

"Huh? What?" You bounce back to reality, the soft comforter of your bed lying beneath you as you stare out the window. Thanks to your wonderful apartment search, you have a beautiful view of the city. Jimin had helped you find a place when you first moved here. The two of you had met when you visited to check out the first apartment options; he even took you out for a drink afterward to celebrate the first days' completion. Jimin had immediately clicked with you, as he does with everyone-- he was the kind of person to make friends insanely quickly. He must've been super popular in high school... unlike you.

"Y/n Y/l/n. I am giving you a chance to meet more people, and you're not even listening to me!" He cries, a light smack coming from the other end (probably from him slamming his hand on the table).

"Okay, okay-- I'm sorry. I'm listening now; what's up?"

With a deep sigh, he speaks again. "Party. My house. Tonight. It's not gonna be wild, don't worry... it's just a get-together with some of my friends, and you can have a few drinks if you would like to."

Gnawing at your bottom lip, you look over towards the clock on your nightstand. 5:00. "I don't know..." You begin, the bed shifting as you raise into a seated position. "I have to work tomorrow morn-"

"Already got your shift covered." He deadpans.

"What??"

"I already got your shift covered, so you have no excuse."

This sly guy.

"Who covered it?" You question, setting the audio to speaker-phone as you rummage through old text messages you haven't gone through (to prep for your "thank you for covering my shift" text message).

“Jin.” Noted.

“So…” Jimin continues, “are you coming?”

You can't even remember the last time you met new people, let alone gone to a party. Parties weren't necessarily your thing, especially with your busy schedule of workdays and auditions-- you just never had the time. You should be excited, right?

Well, you aren't.

"Jimin, I don't know… I'm not really a huge fan of parties." You mumble over the phone, picking at the lone string that popped out of its stitch on your comforter.

"Y/n, it's a small get-together, and it's not gonna be that kind of party. Believe me; it'll be really chill. It's just me, you, a few other coworkers, and some friends from my journalism class."

You chew at your bottom lip, looking over at your closet to see a single green cocktail dress that you hadn't worn in years. The memory of the dress was a good one… you had just finished up curtain call for The Addams Family and wore that dress to the after-party. It's a short sleeve, layered green dress that flows just over your knees, the same color sash tying the waist in a floppy bow. You blush at the memory of winning best dressed.

A pause, “Okay.” You conclude. “I’ll go.”

Jimin was honest about how chill it would be; soft music plays in the background as the group sits around the table playing cards. A basketball game is playing on the TV, desperate for attention as a player scores a 3-pointer, but no one is watching. Shuffling of cards is the only sound heard in the room as the game continues.

The atmosphere is calm… quiet…

“BULLSHIT.”

The immediate crumble of everyone’s mood causes the loud “HELL YEAH” that makes you jump in your seat.

"And that is how it's done, Ladies and Gentlemen." Jungkook (your fellow coworker) claps, his smile brighter than the sunset that seeps through the curtains on the opposite side of the room.

"And that's on cheating!" Jimin picks up the cards in the center of the table, gathering them clumsily back into a pile.

"It's called having skill," Jungkook replies, holding his hands up as he smirks at his opponents.

"No, it's called luck." Yoongi finalizes as he puts his hand of cards down on the table with a roll of his eyes. You haven’t met Yoongi before until tonight. He’s one of Jimin's friends from Journalism Class.

When you arrived, you decided to sit out of this round and learn to play before joining the game-- knowing you; you would've been crushed within the first minutes of playing. Card games weren’t exactly a skill of yours— board games on the other hand were where it’s at! That, and charades. For the sake of the party, a card game didn’t sound too bad this time around— so you poke at Jimin to give you the hand as he serves cards for everyone else.

“Wait, wait, wait—“ Jimin pauses, his hand disappearing beneath the table to grab his phone. “Hello?”

“I’m not Irish, so does luck really count?” Jungkook questions in a hushed whisper, nudging Yoongi in the side.

“Oh hey...yeah... it’s apartment 205.” Jimin continues.

“You’re so funny, Jk. Maybe you’ll actually become successful if you choose stand-up comedy rather than becoming a musician.” Yoongi replies nonchalantly, his cat-like eyes staring at the abandoned pile of cards before he seems to come to the decision to shuffle them himself. He gives you a small smile when you hold your hand out to signal that you’re joining in this round.

“Mhm, you can just walk on in! Doors unlocked… okay.. alright, see ya in a minute.” When Jimin's phone is down, Yoongi passes a hand of cards to him.

“Think you can beat me, Y/n?” Jungkook asks,”Since apparently these four can’t?” He motions to Yoongi and Jimin, glancing at the other two players of the game: Hoseok (Jimins other classmate) and his girlfriend, Faith.

“I think I can.” You say, smirking at the determined expression on Jungkooks face. Even if you weren’t very fond of card games, there was one thing you were even less fond of: losing.

“Mmm, might want to rethink that, but okay.” Jungkook replies. The two of you are death staring when the sound of the front door creaking open catches the attention of everyone else at the table. Jimin shoots out of his chair.

“Taehyung!”

You freeze.

"You-" He pauses, taking another sharp breath and running a hand through his hair. If you thought he couldn't get more attractive, you were wrong. "Do you know me?"

Attractive? Yes. Psycho?... possibly.

“I’m so sorry, there're so many people that come to visit us and sometimes I forget the regulars!” You apologize. “That’s my fault… remind me of your name again?”

"It's- It's-."

“Taehyung, you just missed me creaming everyone in bullshit.” Jungkook boasts. Your eyes are glued to the side of Jungkook's head, not daring to make eye contact with the source of your nerves the past few weeks.

“Oh did I?” The familiar, deep voice utters.

Okay.. you can’t help but look…

Holy—it’s actually him.

Immediate regret sinks into your soul when you see him. God, he’s even handsomer than you remember. A white woolen sweater hangs over a pair of his black pants, matched with white sneakers and accenting the head of dark wavy hair you’d been thinking about since you last saw him.

“Yep!” Jungkook continues. “And now Y/n’s about to get shitfaced too.”

The moment his eyes swiftly glance your way is the moment you crumble and turn your head back to Jungkook. You had hoped to make a sly remark, something along the lines of “in your dreams,” but you’re caught breathless from the tension in the room. The tension only the two of you are aware of. He must be tense too, right?

“I wouldn’t underestimate her.” You hear out of Taehyung's mouth, stealing a look at his face once more. He’s smirking at Jungkook, hanging his coat on the hook beside yours, oblivious of the way you’re basically dissecting his every move.

“Have you met Y/n?” Jimin questions, provoking Taehyung's eyes to fall back onto yours. This time, you don’t look away.

He doesn’t answer right away, making you more nervous than you should be— the silence deafening as you make to explain, “We-“

“No.” He states plainly, cutting you off. An innocent smile plays on his lips as he looks at Jimin and places his messenger bag beside the door.

No? Uhhh, was he not the guy who pretended to know who you were and cried in front of you without even explaining why? Nope, it’s definitely him.

“I’m Taehyung.” He calls in your direction, offering you a boxy smile and a small nod, “Don’t let Jungkook fool you. A girl pinched him when we were in grade school. He barely lasted five seconds before running away screaming.” Taehyung moved to the table, sitting beside the man he just brutally embarrassed.

“That girl was terrifying. She was way taller than all the other sixth graders. It was an unfair situation.” Jungkook protested, sinking in his chair as he shuffled the cards he held in his hand.

You couldn’t help but stare dumbly at Taehyung. Was he embarrassed of his outburst at the cafe that he just hopes you forgot about him? You guess you didn’t exactly meet each other, other than a few words exchanged before he disappeared out the door. He probably doesn’t want his friends to know about what happened. Or did he not recognize you and completely forgot about the whole ordeal?

Okay, it’s fine… totally fine.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind,” you laugh, “no more coming in late, Jk. Or I’ll have to pinch you.”

Jungkook merely rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his beer. You see the crinkle in Taehyung's eyes as he laughs, the boxy smile taking root on his face again… a smile you’ve begun to enjoy the look of.

Hey. Snap out of it. This guy is so confusing. That’s a red card.

You straighten up in your seat, catching Jimin's attention when you move towards the kitchen, motioning with your hand to signal that you’re getting another drink. You have a feeling you’re gonna need some more alcohol to get through the evening.

Jimins place is clean, every knick knack placed neatly where it belongs; accompanied by the smell of potted plants that he keeps by his windows. Little name tags are attached to the plant stems: Flo, Sprout, Bob. He names his plants. Sweet.

He, like you, has a great view of the city too, a mid-size window perched above his breakfast nook where a small potted plant (quotabley named “bean”) grows. The city is bustling below as you reach for a beer, shrugging off the fact that you hate beer, but at least the taste will distract you from Tae-

“Hey.” You hear a soft voice call from the kitchen archway. When you turn you nearly drop the bottle out of your hand. Taehyung gives you a soft smile.

“Hey! Uh.. did you want a beer, or are you a wine guy?” You question, cringing at how much higher your voice sounds at his close proximity.

“I— Sorry, neither.” He starts, shoving his hands into his pockets as he makes his way around the island. “I uh- I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

You nod slightly, “Yeah of course… what’s up?”

“Um,” he’s nervous, you notice. “I just wanted to apologize about the whole thing at the cafe a few weeks ago.. I was— not in the right state of mind.” He meets your eyes hesitantly, “you just look like someone I know from a long time ago and it kind of.. took me by surprise, I guess.”

Jimin was right. You offer him a smile, shaking your head in disbelief, “You know what, I truly thought that was the reason… It’s totally fine. I’m not who you think I am, by the way.”

A flicker of something crosses his features at your comment, something you can’t quite pick up, but he changes it quickly to a smirk. “Obviously.” He laughs, “I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable.. I’m not weird, I swear.”

“Mmm, that’s what they all say.” You tease.

He laughs, a soft sound that you want to hear over and over again. “You’ve got me there.” He takes a pause, placing his hands on the island countertop. “Let’s start over? If that’s okay? I didn’t want to mention it when I came in because I wanted us to have a fresh start.”

You push down the questioning thought of who this woman he mistook you for was, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. “That’s totally okay.. clean slate?”

“Clean slate.” He finalizes.

“Straightforward,” You add, “I like it.”

He gives you a warm smile, the same edge in the way he looks at you dances in his eyes before he breaks it off, sliding the bottle of beer out of your own hand. “Actually, I think I will have a beer. You don’t seem like a beer drinker, anyway.” He turns quickly, smirking at you before striding out of the room. “Thanks, Y/n!”

Protestations die on your lips as he disappears from the room, your beer along with him. How rude. You can’t help the smile tugging at the corners of your lips as you turn back to the cupboard, skipping the beer and pouring yourself a second glass of wine. You weren’t a beer drinker, after all.

Although you weren’t one for parties, you couldn’t help but admit the fact that you were having a good time. No, a great time. All of you are seated in Jimins living room; a plate of chips sits on the coffee table, which was the hot spot of the night (considering there’s hardly any remaining). Others in the group still have a glass of alcohol in their hands, the tipsiness evident by the slurring of their words. You had stopped yourself after half of your second glass, playing it safe since you still have to walk home after the party. You weren’t much of a drinker anyway-- your family history being the root of this decision.

It isn’t the games that made the night this enjoyable, or the food, or the movie that is currently playing over Jimin's television (which, by the way, is Moulin Rouge, because half of the room enjoys musicals, and the other half enjoys regular movies. So, you decided to settle on a movie musical). None of that matters, except the fact that you’ve never felt this carefree in a long time.

For one night, you can put aside your cafe job, auditions, and never-ending to-do lists and just have fun. Real fun. Even in the audition rooms, it has never been fun for you. It’s been nerve-wracking to a fault and always ends with a “thank you for taking the time, but we’ve decided not to accept you this time around,” or a callback, which ultimately concludes with the same grueling fate.

But this is different.

This is a group of people who genuinely want to spend time with you and get to know you… with no “not this time’s” or open-ended questions.

Especially with Taehyung. You’re surprised at how quickly the two of you seemed to hit it off, despite the awkward introduction. Now, it feels like he’s known you for years… in the best way. You’re comfortable talking to him, chatting together during the movie about the plot points or songs you find specifically endearing. You had initially planned to sit next to Jimin… but ended up next to Taehyung on the couch.

It just happened.

He enjoys musicals as well, you learn. Maybe not as much as you do, but at least he doesn’t despise them. He’s one of Jimin’s friends from their shared art class. He loves the color brown. His favorite food is watermelon. He does illustrations for Jimins journalism projects (which, in your opinion, are exceptional from the photos he showed you during the movie while the others were engulfed in the film). He wishes to pursue traveling journalism, where he draws what he sees rather than taking pictures. His whole aura is warm… like a heated blanket that envelopes you whole when you feel him shift beside you on the sofa. A small reminder that he’s still there.

Okay, you’re liking his presence way too much.

He finds romance movies corny but a guilty pleasure nonetheless. This, the reason why he agreed to watch Moulin Rouge despite the cheesiness in the beginning. In the end, it was anything but cheesy.

"Well, that was stupid." Jungkook scoffs, slamming the remote onto the neighboring loveseats' armrest. The once loud room filled with music is now quiet from the after-effects of the movie.

“I told you it was sad!” Jimin exclaims. The two of you had seen this movie before in theatres… and this was nothing compared to how the ending hit the first time. “Y/N was nearly choking. She was crying so hard when we saw it.”

An immediate blush rises onto your cheeks as you shake your head in defiance, trying to hide the tears that had been stinging your eyes for the last thirty minutes. “Who wouldn’t cry at that??”

“Taehyung probably didn’t. He never cries.” Hoseok deadpans. Ha. You can’t help but remember the tear that ran down his face in the cafe… He never cries?

With a quick look over your shoulder, you find that Taehyung is no longer seated on the couch. When did he get up? You attempt to shrug off your curiosity, pivoting back towards the chip table where only sad little crumbs remain. You were worrying way too much over a man you quite literally just met tonight… even if it felt like you’ve known him for much longer.

Taehyung eventually reappeared, stating that he had to use the bathroom— you ignored the fact that it took him a solid 30 minutes to get back to the party. It wasn’t your place to ask any questions, especially since he lifted a smile onto his face the second he reentered the room. See, y/n… nothing to worry about.

It wasn’t long before you insisted you head home, knowing that you’d curse yourself in the morning if you stayed out past the sunrise. If you did, you’d sleep through tomorrow, and that would be awful. You’ve done this a few times… and every time, you felt like you had wasted an entire year of your life.

You move to grab your purse and jacket, which are hanging comfortably on the hook beside the front door. With a small smile, you bid everyone goodnight— smiling as they resume a card game around the table at one o’clock in the morning. It’s nice to know that the group of you hit it off… now; you can look forward to plenty of get-togethers in the future.

Your mind is bustling with all kinds of ideas: picnics in central park, late-night broadway shows, hangouts at the caf-

“Y/n!” The soft calling of Taehyung's voice causes you to halt near the exit, turning on your heel to see him jogging towards you. He had haphazardly thrown his jacket over him since it’s still being tugged onto his body as he runs. His hair becomes even more chaotic in his haste… Why do you want to run your hands through it?

“Hey!” You squeak, interrupting your thoughts before they trudged down a guilty road. “What are you doing? Weren’t you going to play another round?”

He gives you a smirk, catching his breath as he holds out your house keys. “You forgot these! You were really moving fast… sick of us already?”

“Wh— oh my god, thank you!” With a quick swipe of your hand, you’re stuffing your keys into your pocket with a grateful smile. “Also, hardly.”

You admire the way his eyes light up at your confession. “Well.. since you don’t want to leave us so quickly.. how about I walk you home?” He seems almost hesitant asking, but you can’t help but applaud him for actually taking the initiative to inquire.

You shake your head, pulling the strap of your purse farther up your shoulder. “You don’t have t-“

“I want to!” He cuts you off quickly, catching you by surprise as he moves past you to open the door. He glances back, taking in your reluctant expression, “It’s not safe this time of night Y/n… You shouldn’t be alone.“

You know he didn't mean anything by that statement… But the idea of someone genuinely caring and not wanting you to be alone makes your heart swell. Jimin cares about your safety of course, but this feels… Different.

This is the reason why you allow him to walk you home.

The snow crunches beneath your feet, like a symphony that beckons you home. You’ve been feeling exhaustion seeping into your bones for the last ten minutes, but Taehyung's occasional brush of his arm as he walks beside you keeps you wide awake. He doesn’t think to apologize for accidentally touching you, but you blame it on the time of night. Delusion.

“How long have you lived in New York?” You question, wrapping your coat tighter around you to kick out the nipping air.

“About a year now,” He responds, shuffling his feet, “though it feels like way longer. You?”

“Three years.”

Taehyung turns his head towards you, eyes wide. “Wow, way to one up me.” With a teasing smile he continues, “You must know this city like the back of your hand.”

The truth is… you don’t. You came here for the sole purpose of making it on Broadway... you never really took the time to focus on anything else. Part of you wishes you had learned more, craved more, wanted more with your life—then you wouldn’t be so miserable when the one thing you do want doesn’t work out. “Yeah… kind of.”

If he hears the somber tone of your voice, he ignores it, turning against the wind as he walks backwards down the sidewalk. “It’s overrated in my opinion.”

You raise your head at this, “Why is that?”

“Everyone here has dreams… and those dreams get crushed more often than not.” He shrugs, “No one cares if you want to succeed, only if you already have.”

You stare at him for a moment, awestruck by the weight of his words. “But,” he adds, turning back towards the wind, “the ones who never give up and continue to chase that dream can become successful. Despite all of the no’s they might face, they always hold on till they hear a yes. That sounds like true success to me.”

Turning your head, you stare at the side of his face— admiring the way his hair tosses back a bit against the harsh winter winds. His words hit you way deeper than he probably realized, sinking into your chest with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment. You’ve been contemplating recently on whether or not to give up on your dream… that maybe it just wasn’t going to work out for you. You have been trying for so long, and have repeatedly been let down. There was no way Taehyung could have known, which is why his words hit you as hard as they did. Despite the hardships, you’ve been here for three years and you’ve never given up or stopped trying to chase your dream.

That was an achievement, right?

“To be honest… I've heard a lot of no’s in my three years of being here.” You speak softly, tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ear. “Sometimes it feels like there will never be a yes… but here I am. At least I'm still working— at a coffee shop, not on the stage.”

“It’s admirable that you keep going.” Taehyung glances at you over his shoulder. “It makes you different from a lot of people who have left the city when they faced failure. It’s something to be proud of. Plus, coffee shop or big stage, you’re in New York City and pursuing your gift. It’s special.”

When your eyes meet, you smile at him, feeling a sense of victory the longer you hold his gaze.

“Don’t give up, Y/n. No matter what.” He speaks genuinely, leaning towards you to nudge you gently on your shoulder. You can’t help but laugh at his playfulness, giving him a nudge in return before your eyes downcast to your winter boots. The snow on the ground is fresh, powdery and sticking to the toes of your shoes. “Plus,” He adds, sucking in the chilly air, “you've got what others don’t have…”

This time when you meet his eye he has a serious expression, making sure he has your full attention as you round the corner towards your apartment building. His gaze is genuine, captivating… and a part of you hopes that the close proximity of your apartment wouldn’t cut this moment short. Finally, he speaks.

“You have passion.”

Taehyung's words weigh on you for the rest of your night. It started off as something simple, looking up audition songs for an upcoming off-broadway show your agent was telling you about. Then, you went to learning it. After that, putting on makeup. And finally, completely forgetting about your sleep schedule and filming an entire audition tape in your room at 2 in the morning (and you were belting… your poor neighbors). It wasn’t until four that you finally turned in for the night, not bothering to take off your makeup or get changed-- simply falling onto your pillow and blacking out the moment you hit it. You were definitely sleeping the next day away… but at that moment, you didn’t mind. Having a day off from your busy schedule wouldn’t be so bad.

“I sent in an audition tape two nights ago.” You speak confidently, wiping down the back counter that’s littered with coffee grounds. They stick to the rag like glue, tiny dots scattered along its white surface. If it weren’t for your apron,

and your expertly rolled up white turtleneck sweater, you would look alot like this rag right now.

“Did you?” Jimin questions from the bar, sleeving the cup before placing it on the handoff counter.

“Christopher! Medium cappuccino!” He calls, multitasking while he cranes his neck to still hear you.

“I did. I feel really good about this one..” You add, meeting him beside the bar as he lifts the pitcher up and down to create the latte-art of a flower in the center of the mug. You have tried sooooo many times to make latte art… and every time it ended up looking like a glob. A big, distorted snowball. Jimin was the master of latte art, always finishing it off beautifully with a whip of his wrist. The foam atop telling a story. “It was so late-- I was totally out of it… and yet I actually enjoyed myself while filming it. I just imagined being there.. In center stage.”

“I’m happy for you, Y/n!” He smiles, turning to place the hot mug next to the cappuccino.

“Caleb! Medium caramel latte!”

He was only half listening to you. The cafe was bustling, so it truly wasn’t Jimin's fault that he was sidetracked— but nothing could hold back the small smile that played at the edge of your lips. You had actually enjoyed singing for the first time in a while.. all because of Taehyung's Academy Award winning pep talk. Who knew that all you needed was for someone to tell you like it is. With a minuscule smile, you turn back towards the counter and lift the latte you’d whipped up this morning to your lips. Your distorted snowball is fully on display at the top.

Despite the busyness, the front register is deserted, giving you time to think for a moment about the pep talk... or rather, the person who gave you it.

“I think Taehyung likes you.” Jimin deadpans.

Uhhh… You nearly spit out your snowball at that— clearing your throat as you set it down slowly onto the wooden countertop. He speaks as if this is a natural conversation starter… it’s not.

“I’m sorry?” You croak.

“Taehyung.” He repeats, turning his head in your direction with a knowing smirk. “I think he likes you.”

You give him a scoff of disbelief, watching as yet another group of regulars enter through the door. “That’s not true, he just doesn’t know me… so he made an effort to talk to me.” If you weren’t studying the group, you would've seen Jimin giving you a scrutinized look.

So, now you have his attention.

“Y/n. It’s so obvious… He spent the entire night talking to you, he left moments after you did to give you your keys and he never came back. If that isn’t someone who’s interested, I don’t know what is.” Jimin is an expert at multitasking, finishing off two drinks at the same time and calling them out.

“Well, Jimin, when people don’t know each other, they get to know each other. It’s this thing called talking and becoming friends.” The sentence hangs in the air as the doorbell chimes, signaling that yet another customer has entered the cafe and into the swarm of regulars, but the two of you disregard the sound and continue on through your bickering.

“I’m just saying, Taehyung doesn’t usually talk to girls.” Jimin adds, wiping his hands off on the white rag seated beneath his espresso machine. “Even if they wanted his attention, he didn’t give it to them. I mean— he’s nice to girls, don’t get me wrong.. but he’s never talked to them like he did with you on game night. I don’t think he’s dated anyone since he got here.”

“He’s career driven.” You say quickly.

If you thought his smirk couldn’t get any wider, you were wrong. “Yeah, girls don’t know that about him— meaning he told you, and not other girls.” Jimin deadpans.

You stare blankly at him. There’s no way. No way that a guy as attractive as Taehyung would even think about looking at you like that. There’s just no way. You’ve never had a boyfriend... or even a guy friend, until Jimin. Eventually, you’d accepted the fact that maybe you just weren’t that interesting. Maybe you weren’t pretty enough. Maybe you couldn’t flirt…. okay, you definitely couldn’t flirt— but that’s besides the point.

“He’s not interested in me.” You conclude.

“He is.” Jimin counters.

“He’s not.”

“He so is.”

“He’s so not.”

“Y/n. I swear to you. He’s interested and you need to shoot your shot.” He whisper-screams, throwing the rag in his hand onto the bar.

“Taehyung is not-“

A clearing of someone’s throat from beyond the register cuts your argument short, nearly making you lose your balance when you see who the source was.

You’re fairly certain you’ve turned pale.

Taehyung stands in front of you, eyeing between the two of you with an awkward expression. God, how long has he been standing there? “I figured I should step in before the two of you start fist fighting.”

“Hey!” The shrill of your voice causes you to wince.

“Hey.” He says with a smile, folding his arms in front of him and raising his eyes to the menu above your head. You can’t help the glare you send towards Jimin, who's notably holding back his laughter as he moves to the blender, the station farthest from the register. Ridiculous.

“What can we get for you?” You ask routinely, trying not to make it obvious that you were just talking about him… and praying that he wasn’t there to hear what the two of you were talking about.

“Hmm…” He looks especially good today, wearing a brown, long coat and a brown plaid scarf around his neck. He wasn’t kidding when he said his favorite color was brown, that’s for sure. It suits him. His hair is wavy, flowing to a point just under his eyebrows with a split off center, giving you the tiniest glimpse of his forehead. “How about an americano with hazelnut, and some cream?”

“We can do that for ya!” You have to force yourself to stop looking at him, pressing the buttons to ring up his order before you forget. You nearly overlook ringing up the hazelnut syrup. Why were you so dazed? He’s already placed his credit card into the chip reader, but your foggy brain asks anyway. “Anything else?”

“Yes, actually.” He speaks as you move towards the bar beside the register. Grabbing an empty pitcher, you pour the milk inside and reach for the steamer. He drops a dollar into the tip jar, not giving you enough time to thank him for the unnecessary effort before he speaks again. “Are you free later?”

NEXT CHAPTER

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[nctrice]

Professor Jaehyun x Female Reader

Rating: 18+🛑

Word count: 2K

Content: smut, unprotected sex, fingering, dominant Jaehyun, praising, teacherxstudent, dilf Jaehyun, slight public intercourse

Disclaimer: I do not own Jung Jaehyun nor claim him in any sort of way. This Fanfiction is made up out of pure imagination and is strictly just fiction.

A/N: this is my first time writing for this tumblr platform and please give strict constructive advice if needed! Thanks!

___________________________

"Gosh he's hot!" I whispered under my breath gazing upon the dilf himself, Mr.Jung or in other words my calculus professor.

He stood tall and confident in front of the oddly huge white board, broad shoulders facing the class until he eventually turns around to ask a random student to answer the question that I had yet to even realize what it was. He swiftly scans the multiple rows of seats depicting who had been paying attention and who hasn't. I slowly began to sink in my seat avoiding be called on at any cost.

"Ah, y/n! I see you there! Come up here and answer this question for the class." He demands in a polite manner.

I had no problem with it of course, until he said to come forth. This is a first he's ever asked anyone to write the actual answer. My heart pounds within my chest, praying I don't make a fool of myself walking down or back up these unnecessarily wide stairs.

Mr.Jung steps aside and greets me with his well known charming smile. The amount of times this man alone has made me want scream to knock all the built up nerves out of my body. He made me feel more than just butterflies, I couldn't quite put a finger on it.

"Need help?" Mr.Jung folds his arms stepping closer.

"N-no thank you, I'm sure I got it."

My hands fumbled to reach for the dry erase marker he held out for me. It was a bit warm considering he's been holding it for more than half the class. I took a quick glance at the question, immediately regretting what I said. I did indeed need help, and I don't got it. I'm sure he could tell I was hesitating as my finger sits comfortably above my top lip.

'here goes nothing.' I thought before writing what I thought was the right answer. Mr.Jung examined the question, "close but not quite. The answer was -9, you forgot to subtract this which why you got -2. Try another easy one similar to this."

Bullshit. This question didn't look no where as easy. If I mess up again oh well, it's not like he'd pop out with another question to further embarrass me. As I thought long and hard about the problem, it began to feel like it was just us two. Him applying an uncomfortable amount of pressure with just the distance between us and me panicking underneath his anticipated stare.

"Not quite right neither, it'd be best for you to stay after class you seem to be having a lot of troubles."

Mr.Jung wiped the whiteboard free of any writing once I answered the last question and moved on with his lessons. I barely made it to the first step before he had wrote the next problem to briefly go over thanks to me. His words far more stern and exaggerated in attempt to sub me. Out of my entire time being in his class this had been the most I've ever seen this man share eye contact. Yet, it wasn't sweet and kind, more like curiosity had taken over and he couldn't get why I answered both questions incorrectly.

That exact thought had been on his mind throughout the rest of the class. A part of him felt anxious to know what it was that made me fumble at the problem that he knew I could solve perfectly fine on my own.

______________________

"Alright you all have a great rest of your afternoon and please do study for this upcoming test. It'll be more than 40% of your grade!" Mr.Jung announced as the classroom flooded out the doors, All except one person.

"Ms.l/n,"

He heaved a deep sigh, shoving his hands into his almost too tight dress pants pocket. He paced around his desk before sitting directly on the rounded edge. He looked dramatically intimidating, like he wanted to degrade you the moment he could.

"Is everything okay? You're normally really good with math. It hurt me to see you troubled with such an easy question."

My hands couldn't help but fiddle with the zipper sewed into my bag. How was I supposed to tell my teacher that he was the problem. Not in any sort of bad way, and not in any good way neither.

"Yeah I'm fine, just had a rough week." I lied.

"You seem kind of tense. Am I making you uncomfortable?" He innocently spoke while his eyes examined my body for some type of body language.

My knees buckled, hands folding anything to keep me calm, and not mentioning my blushed face. I was 100% sure that my face was completely flushed a crimson red. There was no denying it.

He didn't wait for an answer, and simply lowered his curtain covering the window then locked the door. I was unsure of what his intentions were but my mind was far off somewhere it shouldn't be regarding the fact that I'm just his student. The thought of him shoving all of his folders and papers off his desk and pinning me clouded my mind. My dying fantasy to have the slightest interaction that no other girl has ever had with him.

"I'm all ears. That's if you're comfortable with telling me of course." He knocked me into reality as I began to feel guilty for thinking negatively of his intentions.

"I'm not sure I can be completely honest." I mumbled beneath my breath breaking eye contact.

"And why is that?"

Mr.Jung held his arm out for me to grab. With little to no hesitation at all, I placed my hand in his. His thumb grazes over my knuckles a fee times until his eyes darted up towards mine.

"Cause I'm in no sort of position to have such thoughts."

I simply remove my hand from his grip feeling the tense sensation overwhelm me once again building up the need to put an end to this. He sensed it immediately.

"Turn around."

"Huh?"

"I'm not gonna say it again." His voice had more depth and demand stringing to it.

I did exactly what he said, no questions asked. His hands set firmly on my shoulders guiding me closer towards him until I felt the warmth radiating off of his body and onto mine. His thumb running deep circles into my shoulder blades releasing the tension that remained.

"Now tell me what position you feel you need to be in."

His hands made its way to my spine tracing all the way down to my waist before kneading my lower back.

"Missionary?"

"That can work too but I meant regarding to what you said. What position do you need to be in to have such dirty thoughts?"

By now, you were inches away from in between his legs, as much as I wished to be in this dearest situation, my first instinct was to freeze up. Was this really happening?

"I'm just your student. The things I want to do will ruin your career." I admitted.

He hummed at my answer willingly holding my waist and pulling me directly into his lap. I felt the slightest bulge poking me through my thin leggings. His head rested onto my right shoulder sending shivers down my back.

"There's nothing wrong with the student getting a little extra lesson with chemistry." He bluntly stated right beneath my ear.

I began to feel throbbing and anticipation between my legs.  Or maybe I had just noticed it now. His hands ventured from my waist toward the hem of my leggings, thumb pushing past my leggings and rubbing the outline of my panties. My stomach bursted with butterflies under his touch. He bit his lips as he felt the smooth lace of my underwear.

"Good choice Ms.l/n," he huskily whispered.

"Tell me about how you fantasize about me in explicit detail if you would."

My chapped lips parted realizing a deep breath I held in since he began to touch me in the ways I haven't yet imagined. His fingers trailed down to palm my womanhood gently creating the knot in my stomach.

"You had me alone like now, desperately removing everything off the desk to pin me down. Ripping my shirt in half as you cupped my boobs. One hand busy playing with my nipples, the other rubbing rough circles on my clit as you told me come."

He chuckled in response as he removed his hand from me and remained silent. As much as I wanted to turn around a catch a glimpse of his face, I was already too embarrassed sharing my intimate dreams with him.

He bit his lips dauntingly, "can I?"

"What?"

"Can I make that dream a reality?"

He slightly nibbled onto my ear, heat fuming from my dripping core soaking my panties by the second. I silently nodded afraid to speak at all. "I want to hear you say it, can I touch you?"

"Yes, Mr.Jung."

"Good girl, just for this I'll allow you to call me Jaehyun okay baby?"

I nodded once again holding back the whimpers threatening to leave my lips. His hands rubbed my ass gently getting rough within seconds, groping me every chance he got. The bulge teasingly poked at my core as he undid his pants lowering his draws enough to let his member spring free; slowly stroking himself onto my ass. Jaehyun grunted as the friction increased. His fingers tugged the the hem of my leggings sliding them down to my knees locking them in place.

"Damn you're sexy." He moaned taking in the sight of my now exposed ass. He stroked himself aggressively before tracing my spine with his fingers and bending me over. His other hand pushing my panties to the side as he inserted double digits into my soaked core curling his fingers and his thumb circled my clit. My breath became unstable panting like there was no tomorrow.  My walls clenched amongst his digits fighting the urge to come.  "Mhmm I-I can't hold it." I moaned balling my fists up against my knees for support. He took his digits out sucking every ounce making sure I heard the slurping noise before he lined himself at my entrance.

I inhaled a sharp breath as he entered his tip inside me. I had no clue how big he was but felt my walls adjusting to the girth of him. I bit my lip, holding back from the moans. His hands firmly placed on my hips as he shoved the rest of his large length inside me. I let out a small gasp followed with hitched breaths as his length reached what felt like my cervix. "Shh, you don't want no one to hear you don't you?" He whispered stopping in his tracks for a split second. He pulled almost all the way out coated with your juices only just to shove his length in back in reaching spots he may have missed.

"Oh fuck." Jaehyun groaned thrusting sluggishly. My walls clenched around him causing his grip to tighten on my waist. Tears streaming down my face in pleasure. He picked up the pace being careful enough to refrain from making any clapping noises. As much as he want to rail me until my eyes rolled back and seen stars he couldn't, not in this environment. Yet it was still enough to satisfy the both of our needs. Soft whimpers were the only thing he'd allow out of my mouth, anything louder than that he'd immediately pull out as a sign of punishment. His hand left my waist grabbing fistfuls of my hair and yanking it to see my fucked out facial expressions.

"Jaehyun." I breathed out as he rammed into me.

"Ms.l/n, you dirty little slut of mine, Ms.l/n you feel so good taking all my length in your wet pussy." He groaned aggressively in my ear pounded into me completely forgetting the fact that we were in his classroom. ~

"Ms.l/n! Please stop zoning out in my class!" Mr.Jung semi-shouts jolting me out of my day dream.  I immediately fixed my posture examining the dozens of eyes all drawn towards me including Mr.Jeong. He cocked an eyebrow at me before running his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

"See me after class." He demanded and continued on with his lesson. And just like that, I added on to my series of fantasies with my Calculus professor.

.

[youwontlikethisblog]

Picasso's Night

The previous post Adriana Arboleda brings you up to date with the analysis if you would like to go read it before you start reading this one :)

Now this day has been a pretty eventful one. For one: We witnessed Armando show contentment that morning when he saw Betty for the first time that day. Totally absorbed by her existence until Mario cleared his throat.

Armando screwed up big time when he made it seem and acted like spending some alone time with AA was a lot more important than Betty or the company. He yelled at her and said she got on his last nerve and since then Betty has been on a bad mood with Armando, who after Mario told him that Betty was jealous had a moment of realization and has been feeling pretty awful since then.

Interestingly enough as the night progressed and Betty was invited to the exhibition of Picasso's collection, Mario kept insisting that Armando go and speak with Betty since he was leaving to Miami the next day.

Though this time, unlike the last time he traveled, before Panama, Armando was a bit more hesitant to leave. It wasn't merely because of the new collection they were going to launch and it wasn't because of the state of company. Armando looked at Betty to see if he had any reason to stay, looking at his best friend for any excuse to stay.

After Marcela tells Betty to reserve two rooms at the same hotel they stayed last time and Mario agrees to them traveling he then starts to insist that Armando go speak to Betty and apologize for his behavior that day.

The one thing that Betty did begin to screw up on(aside from starting an affair with her hawt boss) is that now emotions begin to play a huge role, not in the personal part of her life but the professional.

Betty has always been good at maintaining a good separation of what is professional and what is personal(although most of the times when she didn't she was following Armando's lead or example) . At the start of their affair, the day after Armando kissed her for the first time, Betty stayed professional. Even afterwards, Betty stayed professional. When it has come to company time Betty has stayed professional except this time she didn't.

Her jealousy, her feelings took control of her, foretelling things to come, less than 24 hours away.

This also pushes Mario with this idea that Betty must be catered to by Armando in order to keep her under control, though Armando knows best and he knows Betty won't betray him, Mario keeps pushing this narrative and when Betty doesn't agree to it or deny she'll do it Mario understands this as her holding it over Armando's head because of what he did that day.

Writing this now has made me realize that that's the reason he wrote the letter to Armando, not as some stupid mistake or for Betty to find it, though that's a pretty good theory, is that he did it for Armando's sake. Here me out!

For one he truthfully believed that Armando would be stupid enough to screw up giving Betty her gifts and that it would ruin the relationship but the cruelty of this letter exceeded even his jokes behind closed doors, that Armando didn't find amusing anymore, even before he slept with Betty the first time. I'll explain this in the post regarding that fateful letter and from the point of view as a writer and why even that sequences of scenes was a bit choppy and had it's mistakes in execution.

Now here when Armando asks her if she will embellish the balance for him for the big board meeting she allows her anger and resentment to come above her labor obligations and she doesn't give him an answer, better yet she finds a way to ignore the subject. Yes you can argue that Betty was always motivated by her secret crush and her secret feelings for Armando to do all the things she did it in the past, like the first time she embellished the balance and while yes that is true. I have pointed out how Betty showed her love for Armando through her work. He had upset her as well in the past and she'd still do it because in the thick of it she couldn't see him fail when she had the "solution" in her hands but this time her feelings-though extremely valid since he did end up hurting her feelings not as his employee but as his girlfriend- come above everything because this time her ego, the one he was helping to build up, was crushed by the man himself and that is a mistake. Especially when it comes to something that doesn't only directly affect Armando but an entire enterprise where her friends happen to work in. This again foreshadows events to occur in less than 24 hours.

Later when he goes into her office to talk to her she tells him that she doesn't do that, but he interrupts her and tells her that he doesn't want to talk about that but that he wants to talk about Adriana and what happened in his office.

Again though Armando contradicts himself a lot when he is with Mario when we see him with Betty we know where the true nature of his worry or concern lies and it isn't the company but their relationship. The evidence in this is how he behaves when Mario brings up the company compared to his relationship with Betty.

After Betty leaves Mario explains why Betty was hurt and that he can't leave with Betty being hurt, angry, and resentful because she's got the company in her hands. Armando looks angry when Mario is explaining what his mistake translated to Betty. He's angry at himself, while Mario talks about the company Armando has his back to him, peaking outside of the blinds and then turns to him.

"What you're doing is throwing away all that work [we] put in the days before. You're practically telling her that the relationship is just a game. That for you the ninety sixties are a lot more important to you." Armando quickly looks at Mario when he says this, again he is maintaining himself composed and controlled with his emotions as his face doesn't give much of a reaction but the quick jerking of his eye sight allows us to know that this part, from all of what he has said, is a lot more important to him than the company, again because he trust Betty with it, and that he is more worried about the way he has offended Betty. "that this is made of paper and let me tell you something; an ugly wounded woman is more worse than a wounded tiger and that wound doesn't heal with pats on the back, no Sir."

This conversations motivates Armando, not to go talk with Betty since he already wanted to do that but to go searching for her so he could fix his mistake and clarify just how important she is to him.

At the exhibition Betty points out his needs with the models to which Armando tells her that she makes him feel like if he were some seggsually deprived man, which is true. This does make the assumption that Armando's conquests or what not where meant to be written as a borderline seggsual addiction behavior type of thing since she doesn't say "your infatuation, your affairs." she clearly says "your needs with the models".

The conversation here is important because it begins to open a can of warms. She tells him that he'd look good with her, that Adriana Arboleda and him would make a good pair. That their attractiveness complements each other.

"I understand asking for privacy for one thing only." We then see a frame of Armando(lol the painting behind him has to be comedic gold!) who glances away from her, lips with a slight frown but not tight or pursed, showing that he isn't mad or frustrated rather he is upset with himself. "You wanted to be alone with her. Besides I'm not asking for you to give me any explanations. At the end of it you are the president and I'm your assistant. Besides this all happened during work hours and since I've worked for you I perfectly know your needs with the models." She glances around and leaves as people get closer to them. Armando then goes after her.

Right now I'm going to admit that I was wrong, well somewhat. I wrote a post once saying that Betty was calling Armando Don instead of Sir as the relationship progressed but I was wrong. Betty uses the title of Sir as a term of respect for Armando. Even here when they've slept together and she's seen and felt the change of Armando towards her and their relationship she still calls him Sir or Don Armando, that doesn't change. However the somewhat mentioned does change when it comes to Armando. So I was wrong but towards who the theory fell upon. @el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle was right and there isn't much of an importance when it comes to Betty and what she calls Armando. HOWEVER let me preference this that the person I was pointing this theory towards was my bad however the theory of changing names or titles is correct.

If you've read my untitled post regarding my OC and her relationship and how that helped me realize how I wasn't sympathizing with Marcela and that not only was A+M relationship toxic but as well as dependent than I gave you some glimpse into my original writing and how that process helped me be able to understand this part of their relationship and now that this is out of the way, let me tell you why these last two paragraphs are here.

My OC has a habit of never remembering peoples names on purpose, she does it as a power move. As if saying "You're not that important for me to remember your name." she does it especially to annoy people. Also because she's distracted half the time judging a person when they're first introducing themselves. Armando does something similar with Betty on her first days or weeks at Eco Moda.

Men tend to ignore women who they aren't attracted to. Armando did this to Betty. On a professional level he didn't ignore her but as a woman he did. We knows this because it was clearly presented this way at the start of the novela. However I really made my self take notice of this when I re-watched the first half of the novela(I haven't seen the ending bc I tend to avoid things that I cannot control or expect).

My OC is introduced to a guy who she can't stand and at first she calls him all sorts of names starting with the letter 'C' until she managed to remember his last name and calls him that for the remaining of the beginning of the story until they become friends, she switches between Caleb and Anderson, often times calling him by his name when they are having friendly conversation. When they become good friends and establish their friendship he no longer is just Anderson to her but Caleb, someone worth remembering. This is a small detail that I thought would allow the reader to determine the change of tonality between these two characters and their relationships and honestly one of my favorite details to write so when I first noticed this, I got too excited and projected it onto Betty when in reality it was Armando.

Now that I've spoiled my own writing(that I'll most likely never publish) let me explain why I bring this up, finally.

Armando called Betty at the start of the novela "Emperatriz". Once they became more familiar and Betty corrected him and told him he could call her Betty, he finally remembered her name. It's important to note this small detail because just like I intended to write it, so did Fernando Gaitan(I'm assuming lol). He did know her name but he didn't care to register it. Marcela called her Beatriz in front of him, Mario called her by her name, everyone did except for him, and she[Marcela] got upset at him when she heard him call her Betty because in her[Morch] eyes that was a cute nick name to have for an employee, especially for an "ugly" secretary. Now the switch between Betty and Beatriz did happen before the affair started, however the switch was a little bit more noticeable as Armando began to blur the lines of personal and impersonal.

In this scene though and the scenes before this, whenever emotions were heavily involved, especially when it was regarding their relationship Armando calls Betty, Beatriz, in fact even when she wasn't present in the room and he'd talk to Mario about his feelings and why he felt guilty(before he'd shut off this part of him bc Mario would start making jokes) Armando referred to Betty as Beatriz and not Betty but when it came to talking about her as an employee and not a woman he'd refer to her as Betty, it happens this day as well. When he gets upset that she won't let him spend alone time with AA and he yells at her and calls her Betty.

Why am I bringing up this small detail in this post? In this scene and the scene in Mario's apartment this is very evident and signifies the growth of his feelings and his conscious commitment to Betty as a woman.

Finally, after a bit of arguing inside the museum they leave together, of course, after sneaking out because Marcela went to the museum trying to catch him.

It's also important to note that when they found out Morch was in the museum that Betty asked Armando if he had anything to drink. It's pretty standard for him to be drinking, tipsy, or even drunk when he goes out with Betty. The one time I can remember him being completely sober was when he had to confess his feelings for her, soberly, the day after he kissed her for the first time. I broke that down in another post :)

Other times while he hasn't been drunk or tipsy he has had a few drinks at the office, however again it's pretty standard for him to drink and she knows this but why is it something that is brought up here?

Betty attributes Armando's behavior, especially when he is this...stubborn in doing things that could expose their relationship when he has been drinking. Not only that but also because the night they first hooked up they both had been heavily drinking, especially Armando and it is important as the continuation of the night leads us to Mario's apartment.

Outside, in his car, Armando finally gets to clarify his actions as he apologizes and tells her that he only wants her to know that she's more important to him than any other woman and he isn't shy to name the woman as he says: "than Adriana Arboleda, than Marcela or any other woman." This sounds a bit rehearsed but not like the previous times where we can even notice in his tone of voice and his micro expressions that he does so for manipulation. A great scene to use as a contrast to this attitude of his in this scene is the one where he makes out with Betty, the night he fights Roman and Co(wrote a post about it too). This lets us know that he really did think about how to apologize to her. While here his tone is rehearsed his micro expressions aren't a show, in reality his behavior is natural and goes along with what he is saying.

Now Betty in a teasing tone replies to him saying "That's not true." (also because she doesn't believe him)and Armando in a very serious tone and even a seductive tone, gazing his eyes down her body and back to her lips tells her that of course it's true and leans in, placing his hand on her face and they start to kiss.

This shows us that Armando once again isn't only feeling his emotional attraction to Betty, which is what moved his physical attraction forward in the past but now he can tell the difference between these two and he is okay with them! This is a huge step for Armando because he no longer is denying these things from himself. In fact he encourages himself and Betty to have these desires for one another and that as the days progress since their first sinful night his desire for Betty only continues to increase.

When they pull away his phone starts to ring, Betty asks if it's Marcela and Armando's facial expression and tone tells us it is as he looks annoyed and pissed that she's calling him.

This reaction is also standard for him because it's the exact same expression he pulls every time Marcela calls him. Especially when he's with Betty. However this small detail we've been given through the past episodes and this night also hold much significance in future episodes when his reaction to her call no longer is standard behavior from him.

While at the start of this phone call his tone is very forced in "lovingly" speaking to Marcela, his micro expressions again show us that he is just pretending. This tone is one we've heard a bunch of times before and it's one that is solely reserved for Marcela. Even on her part she tries to speak "politely" and just as if she were simply calling because she was curious but as this conversation goes both their dances of trying to keep things peaceful and civil subside and they basically start a mosh pit where they become more hostile until Armando implodes on her.

Marcela in a her standard of questionnaire routine asks Armando who he's with, hesitant he admits he's with Betty.

Her reaction to this however isn't standard of just guilt, taking into consideration the events of the day and that even Armando has told her that Marcela stops nagging him when she knows he's with her and because she's also eavesdropped and heard Armando say that Marcela doesn't consider her as a femininely threat, much less a woman, she once again gets hurt.

One could assume Armando did this to cover his tracks in case anyone told Marcela that they saw them leave together. It's also not hard to believe that Armando is stupid and says things without thinking them through in the heat of the moment however what is more obvious is that he probably wanted to take Marcela off his back so he tells her that he's with Betty. The small pause he takes before he says this helps me determine this. It could also be that he did so in case anyone did tell Marcela he left with Betty.

As Armando implodes on Marcela for insinuating that he lied to her i.e that he's going to go off with his mistress, Betty shifts in her seat and then she looks uncomfortable, returning to her guilt.

In this scene Betty experiences first hand this toxic side of Armando, one she has seen as a boss to employee scenario but not as a significant other. She has heard and even been in the middle of their fights in the past and while even then she behaved professionally, and also guilty this time she shows a lot more emotions raging from being uncomfortable to even being upset with Armando. This however is a small taste to what she will experience first hand not as the bystander of this side of his but as the target of his toxic behavior.

Later in the car, as he drives, Betty, with a broken heart tells Armando she believes that he should go on his trip and try to reconcile his relationship with Marcela and reconnect while they're away.

Armando, nervous and scared asks her if that's what she really wants and the hurt that it might be, he asks(really demands) for her to look him in the eyes and tell him this. Which Betty doesn't. In this moment his phone rings.

Why do these small details play such a huge role?

Less than 24 hours away, Betty finds the letter which plays the exact rhythm in which Armando and Mario planned her downfall.

For one: While in the past Betty agreed to embellish the balance for the meeting, this night she did not and because of this Armando went out to look for her at the exhibit and then took her to his best friends bach pad and slept with her all so she would embellish that balance which would keep the board members at peace allowing Armando to continue as the president of Eco Moda.

Two: That Mario called him this night, while they were together, and while Armando "played" it off that Mario wasn't aware of their affair, when she later questioned him about it and he denied it, these conversations begin to makes sense to her.

We know that's not the case. While Mario spoke about the company Armando didn't seem that concerned or even motivated to go searching for her but it wasn't until Mario mentioned how sever it was what that he implied to Betty that AA was more important to him than her[Betty] and what that meant for their relationship and how she was suffering because of it that he was motivated to search for her as he said, a terrible fear was settling in him because of it. While yes, Mario suggested that they hook up so she could be happy again and forgive him and that way the company would still be in their hands and not Nicolas, Armando didn't need any motivation for that.

In fact he hasn't needed any inspiration or motivation sober or drunk to desire Betty, often not being able to stop himself from kissing her and more. Was this based on Mario telling him to do this?

No.

It wasn't because Mario suggested it(At the office). Unlike their first night where Armando kept calling Mario and kept asking for help and advice, this time Armando gets annoyed at Mario for calling him. Even his behavior is different. While before when Mario kept insisting that he slept with Betty to get it over with, Armando showed disgust or being repugnant to doing an atrocity of that magnitude towards Betty, this time his face was poker. He showed no real disgust towards the idea of seducing Betty as in he'd sleep with her, more that Mario yet again was using something he knew was important and special to the both of them[B+A] as a weapon for the "good" of the company.

When he hangs up his phone Betty points out that the direction he's driving isn't towards her house, to which Armando tells her if she really wants to go home.

"I think it's for the best." He turns to stare at her and then pulls to the side of the road.

"That you want me to take you home?" He asks in disbelief. Betty swallows hard, the corner of her mouth look a bit downward and she looks scared. "Damnit!" He hits his steering wheel and though he is angry, his tone is completely different to that of his tone when he is angry at Marcela. "Damnit, Beatriz, all I want is to be with you tonight, I leave tomorrow, remember? I went to the museum, exclusively, to pick you up, to see you, to feel you next to me, to be with you. When we bumped into Marcela I risked my life and I am still risking it to this moment. Everything I've done is to tell you that I adore you, that you're above Adriana Arboleda, that you're above Marcela, of-of all of them!" We can determine he is honest here as he stares at her, exclusively even when she doesn't stare back at him, she looks pained and confused herself. "and the only thing you can tell me is that you want me to go to Palm Beach(I LOVE the way he says Palm Beach it's just ugh so nice) and have a marvelous honeymoon with her so that we can grow closer." He looks down, away from her and then ahead of him. His voice was no longer harsh at the end more so becoming almost a whisper. "That's what you want? Okay! Right now I'll drive you to your house because it's what you're asking from me. I don't deserve this." (BAWHAHAHA ARMANI YES YOU DO, MY BOY).

Now in a non-contextual way one could simply asume that he is doing this all under the bias of manipulation towards Betty, especially that final line of "I don't deserve this." but when you take all the context clues and you look at the bigger picture there's more that plays in here and I'm not saying that Armando isn't manipulating Betty in this exact scene, he is very much doing so, however it isn't like in the past. This time he does so to get what he wants, which is to spend the night with Betty so he guilts her with this final part of "I don't deserve this- because I've risked so much to spend this night with you."

However taking aside that guilt trip manipulation, why does Armando stumble once in his words showing he isn't rehashing this previous speech? and why does he take a breather before he tells Betty that he'll drop her off at her house like she asked?

While the first apology was what he rehearsed with himself, this second time around it took him by surprise to admit that she was above all the other women because this apology wasn't based on a "lets just make up right now." it was an apology based in heart and the self-realization of how true that statement was for him that while yes Betty was above Adriana Arboleda in her significance to him and even Marcela who he's engaged to, she is now also above all women.

How true is this statement?

Well we see a change of behavior of his with women in the future episodes which proves, yet again, that this confession of his wasn't just an apology so Betty could forgive him, but an apology that was sincere and heart felt.

Betty finally gives in and tells him to wait. With tears coating her lashes she stares at him "Sir, forgive me." She speaks solemnly. Armando's entire body relaxes just a bit as he sits back on his seat. "Sir, forgive me. I want you to understand that-that this hasn't been easy for me. [The situation] with Adriana Arboleda and now the conflict with Ms. Marcela; it's killing me, Sir." His anger and hurt begins to simmer down. "I don't know what to do, how to behave. I-I think I'm acting very bad." She looks away from him, touches the side of her face in a worried and embarrassed manor while Armando stares at her and timidly(in his nature) asks her what truly worry's him.

"But do you want to be with me?"

"Yes, of course, of course. It's what I want most." She caresses the side of his face, he leans towards her hand "in the world." and now he looks like he's come back to life. Staring at her with a soft glow and when she pulls her hand down he looks at it and follows it until he stares back at her, feeling the absences of her touch and missing it. "But you leave tomorrow." They both look away from each other but Armando only does so for a micro second before he stares back at her. "and I won't be complete without you, Sir." Again we get a frame of Armando's reaction to this. "Not being by your side will not be any easier for me." As she speaks her tone is soft, timid however not wavering showing that while she is nervous to confess this to him, she isn't scared of doing so.

"Betty." He says so adoringly towards her. "Betty" he whispers and touches her face and honestly I believe his favorite part of Betty's face is the side of her face, by her earlobe cause he's always touching her there. "Nobody said this would be easy. We knew this road was going to be a difficult one but you know what? I am going to be missing you so much. I'm going to miss you a lot."

Again the words here are lost in translation he tells her "Usted me va a hacer muchísima falta." which roughly is saying that there will be a huge lack of her in him, causing him to yarn for her a lot and feeling that absences of hers will make him miss her in a very profound way because he needs her. This separation they're both fearful of is what brings the forgiveness to shore.

Now the post for that specific scene will need an entire post dedicated to it because there's so much! Just so much.

For this episode I had to watch it on the NBC app so maybe there was some scenes missing.

I don't know if anyone noticed how important the story of Picasso and his lovers was for this and how they showed the similarities to Armando and his lovers, specifically how toxic Picasso was(all though if we're being honest that dood sounds more abusive than just toxic bc we all got a lil toxicity in our system but that foo was straight up kidnapping his lovers and locking them up while he had other's on the side? Nah man call a hotline.) towards his lovers. Though I am not saying that Armando is a saint, I don't think he is as bad as Picasso, that dood needed a restraining order against him so he could just stay away from all women.

In all seriousness though the similarity was that though Picasso had lovers he cared for each of them especially his last two lovers, i.e Betty and Marcela and it foreshadowed just how jealous and pathetic Armando would become in the future.

I mean I love Armando, I had to learn to love him bc at first I didn't, but the behavior he displays in the future episodes while yeah one could explain them are not justifiable and I will get into detail on that in the future posts and the post I am still writing regarding his abusive/toxic tendencies.

Overall this episode, which on NBC is episode 68, was pretty straightforward with a lot of small details to look at and not really for the leading on of the scenes in Mario's apartment but overall where the story continues to get pushed.

In this episode, the episode when Armando fights Roman and Co. and her birthday night celebration and the previous night of this episode are nights that Betty goes back to prove that what she reads in that letter are true, especially this night, before they got to the apartment and just how much Armando "risked" to spend that night with her.

While she tries to believe that it's all a joke because she's certain that Armando was honest and heartfelt with her through his actions and not words, she doesn't trust him. I'll explain that a lot more further in that post.

Pushing forward the plot of the story though we see just how these two have truthfully grown close together and not just as friends but as lovers who are exploring their feelings a lot more now and while Betty is learning to open herself up again, Armando is learning to love for the first time.

I say that Betty is learning to open herself up again because it's true. While in the past she asked Armando why he was interested in her, she shared poetic talk about how the moon inspired poets and how guilty she felt when she saw Marcela, she hadn't opened herself up, not until the night at the hotel and that wasn't much, she barely opened up when Armando was asking her about her first time. This night she was a lot more open. She called out Armando's behavior point blank and period, no hesitation, she spoke about her opinion and then she spoke about how she felt, not regarding her insecurity but regarding their relationship and the absences she'd feel from Armando not being there. While before she'd just say "I need you." or "You mean a lot to me." this time she goes on to further explain her feelings to Armando instead of just saying the words, this time she elaborates.

Armando is learning to love for the first time, being humble in realizing his mistakes, his limits and also understanding just how his actions affect others but the most important thing is that he is learning to be at peace with his feelings for Betty. We saw it that morning when he first saw Betty, later in the office when Betty caught him making out with the AA picture and just how guilty and embarrassed he felt because Betty saw him. Unlike with Marcela where he was scared that she'd cause a while scene, this time the problem for him was that Betty wouldn't cause a scene but be hurt and dump him for it, which would be a big deal for him. We saw it later when Betty forgave him after the letter and gift and when he realized the huge mistake he made with AA in the way he treated Betty. All of these behaviors has shown an Armando who has accepted that he cares for Betty, not love, but cares for her deeply and that she is important to him.

Thank you for being patient with me and sorry that I haven't been as active. These past days have been pretty busy and they'll continue being so. I'll probably only be able to post once a week but I hope that the post become better quality that way as well since I'll have more time to really break down the episodes.

Well 'til next time! :)