#it actually really did help me to write something last night made everything less doom-y

[serve-cunt]

28 or 34 for Lando and Oscar? If it compels you 🦭

feeling for each other in the dark!! compelling...

lando/oscar scene under the cut..

“Oscar.” 

Oscar answered quietly, “I’m here.” They hadn’t been told to stay quiet, but it felt strange to talk at a normal volume. 

“This is fucking— stupid.” 

Oscar didn’t answer. He felt the same. But what could they do? 

“Can you, like, say something? So I know you’re still here.” 

Oscar smiled. “Where would I go?” he asked. “Even if we weren’t locked in, I couldn’t find the door. I can’t see anything.” 

There was a moment of silence, and when Lando spoke again there was a hint of panic in his voice. “We’re locked in?” 

Oscar backtracked hastily. “Er, probably not. I just mean—if we weren’t contractually locked in.” 

Another moment of silence, but when Lando spoke again he sounded a little calmer. “Mate, I never signed any contract that said they could Pavlov’s Dog me.”

Oscar frowned, then laughed. “You’re thinking of the cat. Schrodinger’s.”

“Whatever. How long d’you think we’ll be in here?” 

“Dunno.” 

There was a shifting noise, like Lando was moving around. Oscar put out a wary hand to stop them from colliding. Faintly, he could hear the sound of the Las Vegas grandstands—a roar of applause, dulled by the layers of plastic and plywood between it and his own ears. He hoped the roar meant the first pair of drivers had been revealed: Valtteri and Zhou, released from their own black box. 

“Downside to being first in the constructor standings,” Oscar mused. “They’ll open our box last.” 

“Wish you’d driven a little slower, mate.” 

“Likewise.” 

“Likewise,” Lando mimicked. Oscar glared in his general direction. 

For a few moments they were quiet, listening to the crowd. Somebody was on a mic, shouting over the noise, but Oscar couldn't quite make out the words. Then Lando said, timidly: “Can you, er. Can you—like—move a little closer.” 

Oscar hesitated, then took a small step to the side. “You alright?” 

“Yep,” Lando said, but his voice was strained. “You think they gave us enough oxygen?” 

“I don’t think the boxes are airtight.”

“Yeah, well, I just feel like I can’t breathe? A little?”

Oscar turned, and took another small step. He could feel Lando close by, the warmth of him. They were wearing identical team kit, and it really wasn’t enough; the desert night was freezing, and nobody had thought to put a space heater in the boxes. Or maybe that was a fire hazard. 

“Are you claustrophobic?” 

“No,” Lando said. “I just don't trust Las Vegas to pull this fucked up magic trick off without killing somebody in the process.”

“You can breathe,” Oscar said. “If I can breathe, you can breathe.” 

“Maybe you’re taking up all the oxygen, though,” Lando said. Oscar realized how close they were standing: he could feel the puff of air from Lando’s plosives. “Maybe they didn’t calculate right for two people.” 

There was a second roar, a little louder this time. Williams. Alex and Franco were probably waving to the crowd, blinking in the glare of the Las Vegas neon. Oscar didn’t like how much time there had been between the two waves of applause. They weren’t opening the boxes very quickly, then. 

He tried to think of something to say to get Lando’s mind off the oxygen situation. “Is Martin here this weekend?”

“Stop trying to distract me,” Lando snapped.

Oscar, chagrined, went silent. They stood still for a few moments. Oscar wondered if the rabbitty thump he could hear, very very faintly, was Lando’s heartbeat. 

“Yeah,” Lando said, finally. “He's here. And Max and P, too.” 

“Nice,” Oscar said, relieved. “What are you doing after the race?”

“Dunno,” Lando said. He drew a shallow breath. “Club or something. Maybe just leave.”

“Cool.” There was a thump on the box, which rattled it. Lando drew in another breath, this one quick and sharp. Nothing else happened, or rocked the box, but Lando’s breathing was still fast and shallow. 

Oscar made an executive decision: he reached out blindly for where he assumed Lando’s arm would be. 

Lando yelped.

“Sorry! Sorry, it's me. Obviously.”

“I know that,” Lando snapped. “Just wasn't— expecting it.” He didn't pull away. “What is it?”

“Just making sure we don't bump into each other,” Oscar lied. He ran his hand down Lando’s arm, found his wrist. He wrapped a hand around it, finding Lando’s pulse point. 

“What are you doing?” Lando asked. He sounded wary, nervous.

“Sorry, just— stay still, yeah?” Lando’s pulse was fast, and getting faster. “I’m just making sure I know where you are. I don't want to ram my head into yours if I move.”

“Right.” Lando didn't seem terribly convinced. 

“I know what Lewis had for lunch,” Oscar said. 

“What?” Lando asked, after a long moment. 

“He had a big bowl of coleslaw. With beans on the side. I guess it was the vegan option.”

“Oh.. kay?”

“So,” Oscar said, and waited for Lando to think about it. “George is trapped in a box with him. For at least fifteen minutes.”

It took Lando a few seconds. Then he cackled. “Oh, nasty.”

“Right.” 

“God, poor George.”

“Do you think he’ll say anything?”

“George?” Lando scoffed. “He’ll probably apologize. ‘Oh, sorry Lewis, I’m sure that was me…’”

Oscar grinned. He could feel Lando’s pulse slowing under his thumb. “If you're worried about anybody not surviving this, it should be George. He's being fumigated.” 

Lando cackled again, louder. “Do you think the Grand Prix has insurance for accidentally gassing a driver?” 

“They will after tonight.” 

“Ah, George. Well, he had a good run.” 

“RIP,” Oscar said, solemnly. “Died the way he lived.” 

“Usually it was Alex though…”

By then they were both laughing, and Lando’s pulse had steadied. When they quieted, he still hadn’t pulled away. A third cheer went up finally: this one was probably for Yuki and Liam, third from the bottom in the constructor’s standings. Oscar hoped Liam was enjoying these moments while he had the chance. 

After a moment Oscar shivered, the cold seeping in through his flimsy windbreaker. Lando moved a little closer. “Thanks,” he said. 

“For what?” 

“Just—being the calm one, I guess.” 

Oscar smiled. His own pulse had picked up, rather than slowed. Lando’s wrist was warm in his hand. “No problem.”

[jalapeno-princess]

Catching Feelings

(Look at him doing the bare minimum and still making me fling my panties across the room Damn you Im Jaebeom)

Jaebeom X Reader

Word Count: 20K (Guys this is the longest fic I have ever posted on here wtffff)(I just couldn’t stop writing omg)

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Smut (Sugar, spice and everything nice)

Summary: You’ve been in love with your best friend Jaebeom for longer than you can count on both your hands. Unfortunately, time never seemed to be on your side. Every time he was single, you were in a relationship and when he started seeing someone, you were by yourself. One day, he asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend in order to make his ex-girlfriend jealous but little do either of you know that the few days of fake dating will actually lead to something you would have never expected in your many years of knowing him for.

A/N: Hey guys! This was requested by the amazing @solarblooms​ one of the sweetest people I’ve met on here thank you so much for this request I’m sorry if it didn’t turn out the way you would have liked but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Happy reading!!

“Jaebeom, you can’t be serious. I don’t think you know what you’re asking me right now.”

“You’re acting as if I’m asking you to run a marathon y/n.” 

You let out a scoff before getting up and reaching for both coffee cups that you and Jaebeom drank from in the last hour. When he asked you for a favor, you didn’t think much of it. The older boy always asked you to do errands for him every now and then and as the caring and loyal person you were, you would do whatever he’d ask of you with no hesitation. 

Honestly, Jaebeom was the only person you would go out of your way to help; not only because he was your best friend, but because you knew he would do the same thing for you in a heartbeat. That was just how your friendship worked. The two of you have been friends for more years than you could count on both hands. This meant that you’ve seen each other through it all; drunken stupors, food poisoning, flu season, walking in on each other naked and failed relationships. The latter was the reason why you were both upset yet flustered at his sudden request. 

“I would rather complete the damn 24 mile run. Let me get this straight, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend in order to make Ella jealous? You’ve said a lot of stupid shit in all my years of knowing you but this has to be the most insane thing I’ve ever heard. Why me? Why not just get another girlfriend—she’ll know somethings up right off the bat. Do you really think she’s stupid enough to believe that you and I would actually start dating? You’re better off telling her that you’re in a relationship with a celebrity; that would be more probable.” 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to help him out—especially because you weren’t the biggest fan of his ex-girlfriend. Jaebeom in more or less words had to be one of the most devastatingly handsome men you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. He also had one of the biggest and most genuine hearts—even if he’d come off as cold and intimidating. People say nobody’s perfect; and it was true that he did have his faults, but he also came pretty close to being practically flawless in your eyes. 

The reason why you were so hesitant towards helping him with this specific favor, was because you had feelings for him—and that was an understatement. You don’t remember exactly when you first began looking at Jaebeom in a different light, but when you started to crave his presence more and more, mentally outline his sharp features, found yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss those pretty, plump lips of his; that’s when you knew that you no longer saw him as an older brother. 

You and Jaebeom met in second grade when he transferred over to your school after his family moved to your small town in order to open up their first coffee shop. He was very shy and extremely introverted. For the first two weeks since his arrival, he never really talked to any of the other students unless his teacher asked him to do so. 

At recess and at lunch, he normally sat by himself and the sight always made you feel sad. You didn’t have all that many friends, but you had enough to converse with and to keep you company. One day, you found yourself walking over to where he was sitting and placed your tray right down in front of him. You’ll never forget the way he looked up at you with the most adorable gaze of confusion. 

“Hi. I’m y/n. Is it okay if I sit here? You look pretty lonely.”

“Oh—um—go ahead.” 

The rest of your lunch time together was very quiet—he obviously didn’t seem like the type to want to start a conversation, especially with someone he wasn’t familiar with. You also didn’t know what to say to him; you didn’t want to make things even more awkward by saying something he didn’t particularly like. However, you felt at ease—the atmosphere was calming and for some reason, you felt it had to do with his presence. 

Something about Jaebeom made you feel pleasant; safe. When the bell rang to signal that lunch was over, you were right about to stand up in attempts to throw away your lunch until you heard the faintest call of your name. You turned around to look at the mysterious boy and hummed in curiosity. 

“This was nice—I um—I’m not the most talkative person. I’m more of a listener. If it’s okay with you, would you maybe want to—be friends?” 

You gave him a toothy grin before nodding profusely; excited with the idea of getting to know him and being the first person he wanted to start a friendship with. 

“I’d like that.” 

From that day on, the two of you were attached to the hip; your mothers would refer to the both of you as magnets. Everywhere you went, anyone could expect the older boy to be right there with you. He was more than just your best friend—he was your safety blanket, your confidant—in a metaphorical sense, he was like your umbrella on a rainy day. 

His arms were your shelter, you would find solace in him whenever you were having a rough day. You felt in your heart that the two of you were soulmates; even if your relationship was strictly platonic. It wasn’t until he got his first girlfriend back in your freshman year of high school did you realize that you saw him as more than just a friend. 

Watching him act so sweetly towards his girlfriend made you extremely jealous and you lied to yourself for years thinking it was because you were afraid to lose him as a friend if his girlfriends decided that they didn’t like your position in his life. You also tried to tell yourself it was because you had yet to experience being in a relationship and you just wanted to feel the love and adoration Jaebeom never failed to show to his first girlfriend. 

Even after all these years, through the few boyfriends and one night stands that you’ve had, your feelings for Jaebeom never faltered. If anything, they only grew stronger when you realized that nobody could ever make you as happy or make you feel as cared for as Jaebeom has for almost two decades now. Nobody could ever take his place—no matter how hard you tried to get over him. Your best friend had a reputation of being a textbook fuckboy. 

His first relationship was the last relationship he put his heart and soul in to. Every relationship after that was doomed before it could really even start. He had a bad tendency of leading a lot of girls on; completing them and making empty promises before taking what he wanted—fulfilling his carnal urges and leaving them in the dust. This went on throughout the entirety of high school. As his best friend and the only girl he seemingly put on a pedestal, you had a hard time understanding why he continued to fool around with half of the student body and treat a lot of these girls like they were nothing important. 

What did he get from cheating on and breaking the hearts of all these poor innocent girls? Especially since he was so kind and soft towards you. He’s never said it to you out loud, but you were his biggest weakness. He would go through hell and back just to keep that beautiful smile he adored so much permanently on your face. There were times where you questioned the thought of him reciprocating your same feelings. Whenever a guy showed interest in you or even when you started seeing someone, he was very verbal about how he didn’t approve of anyone you were involved with; whether the relationship was romantic or not. 

Even when you were paired up with other guys in projects, he wasn’t too fond of the idea of you being alone with your classmate—so he’d find himself tagging along with you and your partner whenever you’d meet up with them. You were sure it was just his way of being protective of you; he’s always been like that and you were well aware that he had no intention on stopping his overbearing ways at all for that matter. You were afraid that pretending to be his girlfriend would only make you desire actually experiencing the real thing. 

There was no way you’d allow yourself to go through that kind of trauma; holding hands with him, going on dates with him—maybe even getting to kiss him. To what extent was he expecting the two of you to go through? How far did he expect you both to go? He must have thought about the kind of pda you would have to do together and you couldn’t help but grow curious at how he felt about being intimate with you, even if it was all just an act. 

You released a frustrated sigh; if you said no, you knew he would continue bothering you until you finally gave in or worse—he would actually go along with finding someone else. Whatever your decision was, you’d lose both ways. Might as well go with the one that was less painful. 

“What’s in it for me?” 

He was quick to stand up and made his way towards you—sporting the biggest grin on his face. You could tell he was surprised at your question, but it didn’t matter. His smile did tug on your heartstrings and you began to feel something in the pit of your stomach that you’ve never felt before. It was hard to tell exactly what you were feeling, but it was a good feeling. He surprised you by picking you up in a hug and swinging you around absentmindedly. 

“Anything—I’ll do anything you want me to. God, y/n, you are amazing. You don’t understand how much this means to me. You’re the best person to exist. Thank you so much!” 

He explained to you that one of his good friends from high school; one you weren’t all too familiar with was getting married. Unfortunately, his ex-girlfriend was also going to be in attendance. She was the first girl in four years that your best friend genuinely seemed to care about. He stopped hooking up with and talking to other girls once they started dating. You were jealous whenever you’d hear him go in to depth about the love he had for her; even more envious when you’d have to see them kiss in front of you. 

Sure, you did not particularly care for any of Jaebeom’s partners because you wanted to be in their place. You craved—desired to be the girl who got to love him—who got to receive his love and appreciate the many sacrifices he would make in order to make his significant happy. As his best friend, he never failed to give you all of his attention. If you ever needed help, he didn’t even have time for a second thought, if you needed him, he was there. 

Even if it meant ditching school or leaving work early. You had a feeling that no one in their right minds; no matter how close they were to someone or how much that person meant to them, would do the things for them the way Jaebeom never once hesitated to do for you. However, your distaste for Ella went beyond jealousy. There was no doubt Jaebeom cared for her in ways that he’s never cared about any other girl—well, besides you. He would pick her up and drop her off to and from work, he would call her on his breaks to make sure she was getting enough rest in between classes, he would buy her cute little trinkets and even prepared lunch for her. 

You’ve never seen him put in so much effort for one of his girlfriends before and it honestly worried you; you felt as if there was a chance she might be the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Unbeknownst to both you and the older boy, Jaebeom had actually met his match. Memories of the night that he found out she wasn’t the perfect girl he thought she was came flashing through your mind like it was just yesterday. 

Four months ago, you were out in your living room watching a few murder mystery documentaries—seconds away from falling asleep when you heard a loud pounding on your door. At first, the sound startled you. The only people who came over to your apartment were your parents, your siblings, Jaebeom and a few other friends. You knew your best friend had a graveyard shift tonight; so you crossed him off of your list as to who it could be. However, when you looked through the peephole, you could’ve sworn your heart actually sank to the bottom of your stomach. You wasted no time in opening the door and pulled Jaebeom in to your embrace before either of you could say anything to one another. His eyes were red and puffy; there were dried tears on his cheek quickly being replaced by many more fresh ones. 

From past experiences, you knew not to ask him what was wrong. You were going to wait until he told you, even if you were very curious as to what could have happened. It didn’t even cross your mind that it had to do with his relationship. The two of you flopped on to your couch and he quickly threw himself in to your arms. He might have been the dominant one who always did the protecting, but this time—he was the one who needed to be held and that’s exactly what you did. 

After half an hour of quiet sobs and rubbing his back as he heaved and hiccuped, he finally confessed as to what made him so upset. He didn’t have to really say anything—just hearing the words “Ella cheated on me” sent you in to a furious rage. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t see this coming. There were a couple of scenarios when you felt like something was wrong, or that she was hiding something. When Jaebeom first introduced you to one another, you immediately got bad vibes from her. She was the type of person who talked so highly about herself. You never understood what your best friend saw in her. 

Sure, she was pretty, but it was a basic kind of pretty. Like, if you were to see her on the street, you honestly wouldn’t do a double take. Ella was also very disrespectful; she was constantly on her phone while you tried to talk to her, she never said please or thank you and she was very verbal about her disinterest in certain things. One time, Jaebeom had you tag along with them to a restaurant and she complained about not being served within the first couple of minutes. 

That experience alone made your ill-feelings towards her grow even stronger; but you never wanted to tell Jaebeom in fear of him disagreeing with you. It was adamant that he really liked her. When it were just you and Jaebeom alone, he would find ways to bring her up in the conversation even if the topic had nothing to do with her and on the days that you just so happened to be with them, he would always feel the need to touch her or to compliment her. It was disgusting—but not because you were jealous. 

You had a gut feeling that she wasn’t who she portrayed herself out to be in front of Jaebeom. If he were to excuse himself to use the bathroom, her fake smile would immediately drop as she would glare at you. Then, she would always seem to be texting someone. There wasn’t anything wrong with her being in contact with other people; for all you assumed, it could have been a friend or a family member. 

However, the way she would bite her lip or smile while rapidly typing back and forth with someone made it evident that there was a possibility it was another guy. You let it go though, even if you were dying to tell Jaebeom of your speculations. He told you that he caught her making out with another man outside of her apartment as he went over to surprise her. Jaebeom wasn’t a pushover or the type of person to beat around the bush; he confronted her as soon as he parked the car and screamed at her—telling her that she ruined everything and that he would have done anything for her. 

There was nothing you hated more than to see Jaebeom so emotional and broken; especially because he was the definition of a force to be reckoned with. This was the first time in your many years of friendship that you e seen him so worked up before. That memory of seeing him at his weakest is what got you to give in to him. You didn’t think it was going to work; although you had a feeling Ella didn’t like you from the moment you met her, you didn’t think it was because she was jealous of you. 

It was understandable though; you may have been very understanding, but you didn’t know how it would feel to be in her shoes. If your boyfriend had a female best friend, it was only natural that you would feel weird and assume the worst. But Jaebeom was honest with every girl that he fooled around with; you were his number one girl no matter what. He even ended a couple of flings specifically because the girls would give him an ultimatum to choose between seeing them and being friends with you. Of course, Jaebeom chose you every single time. 

“There will be four events we have to attend. The first two are just luncheons, then there’s the rehearsal dinner and the actual wedding. I’ve already purchased all of my outfits. Since you’re helping me out, you and I can go shopping tomorrow and I’ll buy you anything from anywhere—I mean, don’t go crazy. I just paid off my car. But if you have a couple of dresses you already own that you’d prefer wearing, then that’s pretty cool too. I was thinking we could match so it would be a little more convincing. Oh—and um—we’re going to have to be affectionate. I’m sure you’re already aware of that. If it makes you uncomfortable, then we don’t have to do anything other than hold hands and hug. Not anything we’re not used to anyways.” 

You could only hope your cheeks weren’t flushing with pink from his words. It was expected that you’d have to have some form of skin ship and like he said, the two of you were used to touching one another. Sometimes you’d cuddle up while lying in bed together or he would wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin on your shoulder but it never occurred to you that you would now have to do these things in front of other people.

“I’m fine with that. So, when exactly is the wedding?” He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment; something you’ve noticed he would do whenever he did something wrong or had something to hide. You’ve known each other for so long that you knew the meaning behind each and every one of his mannerisms. 

“Uh—Next week Saturday.” 

Your eyes widened in shock; that didn’t give you much time to prepare anything. Especially not your sensitive heart. 

“Im Jaebeom are you serious?! Why didn’t you say anything earlier—“

“I’m sorry!! But I didn’t think you would actually agree. It took me a solid three weeks to build the courage and ask you. Your outfit is the only thing you have to worry about. I’ve already responded to the rsvp for the both of us—“ 

You scoffed before crossing your arms in disbelief. Im Jaebeom was really a piece of work. How did you put up with him for so many years? 

“So you knew I was going to say yes.” 

He shook his head; but the small smirk that left as soon as it rose on his face made it clear that yes, he had a feeling you were going to agree. Even if he had to beg you for hours on end. 

“I was hoping you would want to do something so big for me because I’m your best friend and you love me.” You took in a deep breath and felt your heartbeat begin to increase. 

If only he knew just how true his statement was. 

For the week leading up to the wedding events, Jaebeom came over to your apartment practically every single day. It wasn’t something you weren’t used to; he visited so often that a lot of his things were scattered throughout your space but you liked it that way. However, he told you that he wanted to practice being intimate with you. If you were cooking the two of you dinner, he’d stand right behind you and pulled your body up against his. 

He began buying you bouquets of your favorite flowers, constantly held your hand even if the two of you were sitting down; he also would pull you on to his lap and stated to hide his face in the crook of your neck. One night, he even placed a few kisses up against your jaw and you found yourself ultimately regretting your decision to assist him. The proximity and constant affection only made your feelings for him deepen if it were even possible. 

As much as you wanted to milk every moment with Jaebeom being a fake couple together, you were afraid of getting your heartbroken once this act was all over. The days just seemed to come and go in an instant; school and work took up most of your day and once you were done, you and Jaebeom would watch movies together or play a few board games. Before you knew it, the day of the first luncheon came and you found yourself getting ready. You were never fond of wearing makeup; it wasn’t that you thought you didn’t need it, you just hated having to put it on and it saved you a lot of money not having to purchase any. 

It wasn’t like there was anyone in your life that you had to impress otherwise. Jaebeom made it known that you were naturally beautiful. You would always roll your eyes at his comment and think that he was only saying that because he was your best friend. Nonetheless, his compliments always made your heart flutter. While the two of you went shopping for dresses, he made it clear that he liked every single outfit you tried on. You tried your best not to make it obvious that his words were slowly driving you to the brink of insanity. 

Why did he have to say all these nice things about you and make you feel like you were more to him than just his best friend? It was natural for friends to compliment each other, but for him to say that you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever laid his eyes on; on top of having the most “ridiculous curves”, you didn’t think friends would say such things. 

Right as you were putting the finishing touches of blush on your cheeks, the knock on your door broke you out of your thoughts. You gave yourself a couple of seconds to put yourself together and when you finally opened the door, it’s as if your soul left your body. The only time you’ve ever seen your best friend in a tux was at both junior and senior prom and even then, he broke the rules in the way that he wore his attire. 

He didn’t even wear a tie and his dress shirt was unbuttoned, showing partial of his chest—but none of your teachers had the courage to tell him he was breaking dress code. His hair was slicked back, his suit was crisp and wrinkle free and he even put on a tie this time. You didn’t think it was possible for him to look even more handsome than he usually was, but right now, he looked like a Greek God. He was at peak attractiveness and it was taking every bone in your body not to scream in sexual frustration. 

“Hey. You look beautiful—really beautiful. Ready to go?” 

You simply nodded your head; afraid that you might say the wrong thing if you were to speak up. The car ride was quiet, other than the jazz playlist going on in the background. To your delight and dismay, he brought his free hand to your lap and gently grazed your thigh with his thumb. Your breath hitched at his touch; his hand only went higher on your leg the longer he drove and you were sure you were just seconds away from placing his hand up to where you wanted him the most. Unfortunately, the hotel that the lunch was being held at was closer to your apartment that you had expected—but maybe it was a blessing in disguise. 

“I’m really glad you chose that dress. I think it was the best one of the many you tried on.” Once he parked, he wasted no time in walking over to your side of the car and opening the door for you; helping you out and intertwining your fingers together. 

“Showtime—Babe.” 

God, this was going to be a long day. 

As soon as you both entered the lobby and made your way up to the ballroom, you were quick to spot some familiar faces. A lot of Jaebeom’s friends were there—some you knew, some that you were also friends with and some you have never met before. When your mutual friend BamBam saw your intertwined hands, he had to cover his mouth in order to keep himself from squealing. 

“No fucking way. I knew the two of you would end up together one day. I fucking knew it. Jackson owes me $20 dollars. Ah, I’m so happy for you both. You look good together. I can’t wait to tell everyone. Let’s go find them shall we?” 

The lunch actually went off without a hitch. Thankfully, the groom sat you and Jaebeom at a table with BamBam, Jackson, Mark, Jinyoung, Youngjae and Yugyeom. Jinyoung and Youngjae brought their girlfriends, so you decided to get to know them while the guys got reacquainted with each other. Since it was just a lunch, the day went by pretty quickly. After saying your goodbyes to everyone at your table and making plans to go on double dates now that everyone knew—or at least were convinced that you and Jaebeom were dating, he grabbed your purse before reaching for your hand and led you out to his car. 

“See, that wasn’t so bad was it?” You shrugged indifferently before scrunching your nose. 

“Ella wasn’t there though. Are you sure she’s going to be a part of this wedding?”

“Positive. She’s close with both the bride and the groom. Maybe she was busy today. Probably fucking that asshole of a coworker—“

“Hey, don’t start. Please. She didn’t deserve you Jaebeom. You are an amazing—wonderful—otherworldly human being. Any girl would be lucky to have you. I know it sucks being cheated on, but maybe this was a blessing—don’t give me that look. Hear me out. I don’t want to assume that she’s been cheating on you all this time, but it’s better you found out sooner than to do something stupid like ask her to marry you and find out later that she was being unfaithful.” 

You don’t know what got over you in that moment; whether it was seeing him on the verge of tears, or just being in the moment after all the touches you’ve shared with each other today, but you got on your tippy toes and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. 

“You’ll be okay Jaebeom. She’ll be nothing but a memory once this week is over. Let’s get you home.” 

The next luncheon came—still no sign of Ella, yet Jaebeom grew clingier than the day before. It also seem as if he genuinely enjoyed introducing you as his girlfriend to some of his friends. You weren’t going to lie, you were enjoying the chivalry; none of your ex-boyfriends ever pulled out a chair for you or took off their jackets for you to wear. You could also feel eyes on you from who you assumed to be girls who either had a crush on Jaebeom at one point or even had a fling with him. 

Although you were the one he had a protective grip on, you did get jealous knowing that some of these girls got to experience what Jaebeom was like behind closed doors. A lot of the girls in high school were extremely vocal about what sex with Jaebeom was like and you’d find yourself wanting to know yourself. It was silly for you to think you would ever have the chance to be writhing underneath him as you begged him to do anything to smooth the fire burning in your core—but a girl could dream right? 

Finally the reason why you and Jaebeom were putting on an act for the last few days came in to play when you walked in to the dining hall together and saw Ella sitting with a couple of other guests. You assumed that the guy whose arm was around her shoulder was the same one Jaebeom caught her cheating with. You clenched your jaw in anger and said a little prayer; wishing for some self control. It wasn’t even you who was cheating on—yet you wanted to walk over to her table and yank her by her poorly done ponytail. Really, what did Jaebeom see in her? 

He was too busy getting you both signed in that he wasn’t able to see what was driving you up the walls, but you wanted him to know she was there and that she had unfortunate company. After you were giving your table number, you gently tugged on the bottom of Jaebeom’s suit in order to get his attention and gave him the unpleasant news. His reaction shocked you though; he winked and gave you a smirk. 

“I have the hottest date here—I’m not bothered one bit. Come on, I want to talk to Jackson about something.” He brought his hand to your lower back and guided you to the table Jackson was sitting at. 

“Damn y/n, you look amazing. You’re making all of us look bad—the bride will probably complain that you’re stealing her spotlight.” 

You politely thanked him before softly giggling at his comment. If only you weren’t so busy admiring the center piece and the party favors, you would have been able to see the way Jaebeom was mentally sending daggers towards his best friend’s neck. You did notice that Jaebeom brought his seat closer to yours and his hand that was on his knee was now gripping at your thigh. 

To an outsider; it might have been a sexual gesture, but under these circumstances—it just seemed off. Knowing his tendencies of getting angry, you didn’t pry at him. If something was bothering him, he would tell you when he was ready to. You just assumed he was now coming to terms that he was in the same room with his ex-girlfriend and the guy she cheated on him with. Although he seemed out of it for the first hour; especially when his friends tried to star conversation with him, everything settled down once the emcee announced that it was time for everyone to head to the dance floor. You elbowed the other boy and motioned your head towards the stage. 

“I want to dance. Can we please?” He furrowed his brows and released a long sigh. 

“You know I hate dancing y/n. That’s going to be a hard pass.” It was your turn to sigh, but then you looked across the table and saw your three other friends moving along to the Drake song that was now filling the room. 

“Fine. I’ll just ask Jackson. I’m sure he’ll want to—“

“Don’t you fucking dare. You’re mine damnit. Fuck—whatever, let’s go.” 

His words confused you; sure, the two of you were pretending to be a couple so there was chance he was just playing along, but to hear him say that you were his so confidently, without hesitation made you feel as though there was more meaning behind it. Once you found a place that the two of you could dance comfortably in, you began to let loose and allowed your body to flow freely. Your hair swung all around and your hips kept up with the movement of the song. 

Although he seemed uptight back at the table, it wasn’t long until a smile rose on his face as his hands slowly made their way down to your hips. You wrapped your arms around his neck and continued your movements. The first couple songs were very upbeat and the two of you danced carelessly; you even had a feeling you both looked like fishes flopping out of water but you didn’t care. You were genuinely having so much fun; something that always happened when you were with Jaebeom. After fifth song finished, the Dj played a slower song at the request of the bride. 

As soon as boys to men came through the speakers, you didn’t know how to react—nor did you know how you were going to dance along to this song in particular. “I’ll make love to you” was the last song you expected to hear tonight, especially because you’ve been sexually aroused since you left Jaebeom’s apartment. Luckily, you didn’t have to move at all—Jaebeom pulled you closer to him and did the unthinkable. You were always a big fan of his hands. 

He’s always had such pretty fingers and you found yourself admiring them on many occasions; yet you weren’t prepared to feel them gripping tightly on both your ass cheeks. You looked up at him in shock but right before you could react, his lips were on yours. You’d find yourself daydreaming about how it would feel to kiss Jaebeom on many occasions; more than you’d liked to admit out loud. 

Whenever he would talk, your eyes would always find their way to his mouth. Every time he would bite and nibble on his lips, you would picture what it would be like to do it yourself. However, no daydream could ever prepare you for the actual thing. His lips were soft against yours; he always felt the need to apply chapstick and you were thankful that he was the type to care about things like that. His movements were rushed; as if the world was going to end and the last thing he wanted to do was kiss you. It was a sensation you wouldn’t be able to fathom in to words. 

Kissing him right now made you feel like you’ve been missing out on so many years of being able to feel him—actually feel him. You weren’t sure why he felt the need to attach your lips together out of the blue, but you weren’t complaining. He smiled in to the kiss when he felt you put more pressure; molding your lips all but gently against his. You ran your hands up and down his chest and as soon as you heard him moan, that’s when you decided to pull away in fear that you would literally rip his shirt off of him right then and there. 

“Jaebeom—“

“I’m sorry, I had to. You just looked so breathtakingly beautiful and seeing you so happy made me act out—you don’t know what you do to me do you? I’m in love with you baby. So fucking in love with you y/n and I have been for a really long time. I hope that kiss helped prove my feelings for you—but if you need more validation, I’d be happy to give you a more physical demonstration. Preferably with our clothes scattered on my bedroom floor while I rail the shit out of you.” 

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you let out a groan at both his love confession and his plans for the rest of the night. Were you dreaming? You had to be—there was no way Jaebeom actually confessed to you that he was in love with you. How could he have been in love with you? He never made it seem like he harbored any romantic feelings for you at all the entire duration of your friendship. You stole one more kiss from the corner of his lips before nodding embarrassingly quickly. 

“Take me Im Jaebeom. I’m yours. I love you and I’m in love with you too. Let me just run to the bathroom really quickly then we can go and you can have your way with me.” 

He allowed you to head over to the restroom while he went back to your table and made up an excuse as to why you had to leave so early. You tried to hurry up with your movements; the desire to finally become one with Jaebeom was seeping through your entire body. When you first entered the bathroom, you were the only one inside. As you heard the door open while you were ready to leave the stall, you didn’t think much of it. 

That was until you finally made your way towards the sink and saw just who entered the bathroom. There were so many thoughts running through your mind in that moment; so many things you wanted to say to her, but you had other thoughts occupying your mind. Ones that made your core throb and took your attention away from the girl who was obviously wanting to say something. 

“Nice to see you again y/n. You look great. I love your dress—I think I saw it on the sale rack at forever 21 am I mistaken?” You scoffed. 

“Yeah, it was right next to your cheap ass lipstick and generic brand of eye shadow.” She was quick to cross her arms and you knew your words got to her—but her anger didn’t last long. 

“So you and Jaebeom—can’t say I didn’t see this coming. He would never shut up about you and followed you around like a lost puppy; what a pathetic little boy. It was painfully obvious that he liked you. And you wonder why I cheated. He never liked me to begin with. I never understood why he got in a relationship with me when his heart adamantly belonged to you. Witnessing how you would constantly stare at him though, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that you were just as obsessed. It was a waste of my time though; the sex was underwhelming and his dick was extremely tiny. Good luck with my sloppy seconds.” 

Images of you socking her in the face were now filling up your mind—it would be so easy to just slap her or step on her foot, but what good would it do? You’d only look like a bad person and taint Jaebeom’s reputation. Plus, she could press charges and you would cause such a mess at the party. Right as she was about to walk out, you decided to make your own comment. 

“Funny you say that considering that I can’t even fit him entirely inside of my mouth. The tip of his cock would always touch the back of my throat and there was still so much of him that my mouth couldn’t cover. Oh, and don’t even get me started on how good he fucks me. If it’s any consolation, Jaebeom is an amazing boyfriend and an even better lover. He treats me and eats me so fucking good. I’m sorry he didn’t think much of you to show you the same affection. Ah, before I go—he told me that you don’t taste all that good—bitter and sour if I remember his exact words. I’d get that checked if I were you.” 

Your words felt much more better than a slap would have felt; even if you were blatantly telling lies, you felt as though a huge weight was lifted off of your shoulders. Jaebeom looked at you in confusion and it’s as if you knew he was going to ask you what took you so long. You cupped his cheek and placed a chaste kiss on his nose while saying goodbye to everyone on the table. 

“I’m sorry to hear that your dad has a stomach ulcer y/n. I hope he feels better soon.” 

Jaebeom was lucky that you were the kind of person to catch on to things quickly; you weren’t all too happy that he lied in order for the two of you to leave without being teased for what you both planned on doing, but you needed him just as badly as he claimed to have needed you. He didn’t even let you take two steps before roughly pressing his hard on against your ass and licking stripes along your neck; only adding to the euphoria you were already sensing as you made out with each other on the dance floor. 

“I don’t think I can make it back to either of our places—I need you now.” You were about to ask him where he planned on taking you, but your questions were answered once he began pulling you towards the direction of the lobby. 

“Jaebeom, you’re not seriously going to rent a hotel room for one night just so we can fuck—“

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing baby. If I have to wait even just one more minute, I’m going to cum in my pants just at the sight of your tits busting out of your dress. I’d prefer to come inside of you—plus it’s more romantic than what I had in mind. Honestly I was planning to make love to you in a family bathroom or the backseat of my car. I’ve waited to make love to you for longer than I want to say out loud. Just know that I’ve been dreaming of burying myself inside of your pussy for at least six years now. Our first time together is a night I will remember for the rest of my life and I think it would be even more memorable in a fancy setting don’t you think?” 

His quick movements towards the front desk almost gave you whiplash, but it only heightened your excitement. He began tapping his foot impatiently as the receptionist took her time typing in his information. You had to stifle back a giggle at the veins that developed on his neck. After what felt like an hour having to wait for her to get you both a room, he yanked the key from her hand and ran towards the hallway leading to the elevators. You were sure the receptionist caught on to what the two of you were going to do once you headed up to the hotel room—but you couldn’t care less. 

All that you could think about was finally getting to experience what you’ve been dreaming about for the last few years. You were going to make love to your best friend and you couldn’t be more excited. He didn’t even wait for the elevators to close before forcing you up against the wall, pressing his knee in between your legs in order to get as close to you as he physically could. His hands were gripping tightly at your waist while he attacked your neck and jaw with wet kisses. The feeling of his cock pressing up against your clothed core was a feeling you’ve never experienced before.

You’ve had sex enough times to say you had quite a bit of knowledge on how to please a man. Many of your partners told you that you were a professional at giving head and even more amazing at riding dick. None of their confessions meant anything to you—the only person whose opinion mattered was Jaebeom. You were growing insecure at the idea of not being able to take care of him or pleasure him in the way that previous girls he’s been with might have done. As soon as the doors opened, he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; earning himself a loud gasp. 

“Sorry baby; I can’t wait anymore. Those heels look amazing on you but fuck, they only make you move slower. However, I think it would be extremely sexy for you to keep them on while I fuck you.” 

He shoved the keycard inside of the door and you didn’t even get to look around the room; he threw you down on the couch and climbed on top of you. The toothy grin he gave you made your stomach fill with butterflies. You’ve loved him for such a long time; if you were to tell your ten-year-old self that Im Jaebeom, the boy you’ve been crushing on since the second grade when he spent months tying your shoes for you until you actually learned how, reciprocated your same feelings, she would probably laugh in your face. But his comforting touch as he ran his hands along your arms made it all the more real that Jaebeom did in fact love you and you were finally going to experience the love you’ve been wanting to feel since you were a little girl. 

“I know I’m seconds away from ripping this dress off of you, but since this is our first time together, I think it would be best for me to explain my love for you—even if only for a couple of minutes. You can hold off from needing to feel my dick inside of you can’t you?” You elbowed him in his ribs before flicking his forehead. 

“You’re the one who is spending at least $200 to have sex with me just because you were too impatient to wait to get home.”

“Best $200 I’ve ever spent. Now, as much as I love hearing that sweet voice of yours, please be quiet so I can hurry up and go in to vivid detail about how, when and why I started having feelings for you. I’m not going to lie and say I’ve been in love with you from the day you first approached me back in the cafeteria, but the fact that you wanted to keep me company because you hated seeing me alone made my heart swell up. I knew you were going to be someone special in my life. I think I realized that I was in love with you right after my first break up. I developed a crush on you back in the 7th grade and I’m sure I saw you as more than just a friend even before then. I just didn’t want to ruin our friendship if I told you how I felt and found out that you didn’t reciprocate my same feelings. I know this is far fetched and hard to believe, but I’m telling the truth; every single girl that I’ve been with was my pathetic way of trying to get over you. Obviously, it never worked. They were never you. Nobody could ever be you baby. Nobody could make me feel so important—so happy—so loved and genuinely cared for. I’m happiest when I’m with you and I feel so fucking empty when we’re not together.” He brought his fingers right below your eyelids and wiped away a few stray tears that you didn’t even know built up. 

“God, you’re so fucking cute. Anyway, I would always find myself staring at you. No matter what I was doing or who I was with, my eyes would always gravitate toward you. You’re so beautiful—I cannot stress this enough. You are the most beautiful girl to exist, I need you to know that. And it goes on your physical beauty; you have one of the biggest, most generous hearts and you never fail to make me laugh and smile at the most silliest things. I’m sorry for being such an idiot—I should have just grown the balls earlier and told you how I felt. I wouldn’t have wasted all my time fooling around with girls I didn’t care about. I never felt like I deserved you—that’s why I didn’t try I guess. I saw all the guys you developed crushes on and I was nothing like them. So I just assumed you wouldn’t look at me that way. But none of that matters now. I’m yours and you’re mine. I hope you know you’re stuck with me now that we’re together. You’re all I want and have wanted for almost my entire life y/n. I went through so many changes, but you are the only thing that stayed constant. When I first asked you to be my fake girlfriend, I would have never thought we would end up here. I promise; I didn’t plan this entire thing to get you to fall in love with me, but I’m really happy I did. Even happier knowing that you love me. Can you say it again? I don’t think I will ever get used to hearing you tell me you love me.”

You pulled him down and smashed your mouth against his; licking his bottom lip as a nonverbal way to ask for entrance. His movements were quick as he mirrored yours; allowing your tongues to dance in sync together while grinding his pelvis against yours. 

“I love you Jaebeom. I’ve always loved you—mmmmm—always going to love you—now fuck me damnit.” He leaned back and gave you a flirtatious smirk, one you were seconds away from smacking off of his face. As emotional as his confession made you, you were now desiring for him to touch you; to really touch you, to feel him enrapture himself deep inside of you. 

“Sit up baby—I bought this dress because you looked so good in it, but I’m sure you’ll look so much better without it—and I was right. Holy shit y/n—what the fuck—how are you so fucking perfect are you even real?!” 

Your dress was flown across of the room, leaving you in only your underwear and although you weren’t the most confident in your body, the way Jaebeom was looking at you with so much lust; as if he was going to devour you sent your entire body in to a frenzy. 

“Why aren’t you wearing a bra? It’s like you want to kill me. Your tits are huge—so pretty. You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to have you like this and now that I do, I’m not going easy on you.” He grabbed at both of your breasts, kneading and molding at them all but gently while leaving sloppy kisses right below your ear. When you felt him pinch at both nipples before twisting them between his calloused fingers, you let out a soft whimper. 

“Jaebeom—“

“Yes baby? Everything okay?” You gave him an eager nod as you tilted your head back in pleasure. 

“Feels so mmm—so good.” Your words only made his movements quicken and to your surprise, he lowered himself to your chest and brought one of your breasts in to his mouth while continuing to fondle the other. You weren’t a stranger to breast play; you loved whenever your partner would twist your nipples or suck on your titties, but it was different now that Jaebeom was doing it. It was otherworldly—you couldn’t even take in just how wonderful it felt. His tongue swirled around your hardened nipple and before you could even say anything, he brought your nipple in between his teeth. 

“Oh God—“

Feeling him hum against your naked chest all the while sucking fervently on your mound made your head spin. You hated that you could already feel your orgasm building up only minutes in to foreplay; but it was expected. Jaebeom already took care of you as if it was his life duty to do so; this time was no different. He dragged his fingers along your stomach; only adding on to your excitement and desire. 

His fingers were cold against your skin and you knew he was teasing you seeing that his movements were extremely slow. As much as you were enjoying the attention he was showing to your breasts, the fire burning in your core needed to be put out or else you’d really lose it. 

“Jaebeom—babe—“ He abruptly pulled away at the sound of the pet name and gave you his signature grin; the one you’ve been in love with for so many years now. 

“Everything alright y/n? I’m not hurting you am I? The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. Did you need me to slow down?” His laughter filled the room at the sight of you shaking your head faster than usual. 

“I’m fine. Trust me, it’s the complete opposite. I’m going to need you to touch me—“

“But I am touching you. I can’t seem to stop touching you.” Upset with his response, you decided to take matters in to your own hands and brought his hand down to your entrance. You made sure that he could feel just how wet you were and you could only hope that it would get him to give you what you wanted. 

“Holy shit—you’re soaking. All because I played with your titties for a little while? You’re going to be the death of me.”

“If you don’t hurry up and eat me, you’ll be the death of me. We have the rest of our lives for you to tease me—please just take me already. I’m going to tell you right now, I don’t usually beg during sex Im—and don’t expect it to be a reoccurring thing either. This is just built up sexual tension acting for me. So either you hurry up or—FUCK—shit shit—Jae—“ 

You were so heated in that moment; all you were focusing on was scolding him and trying to coerce him to make a move on your pussy that you failed to notice him making his way down towards your thigh until you felt him lick a long stripe along your core. You didn’t even realize he practically ripped your panty down the middle and as much as you wanted to be mad at him because it was expensive, you just wanted to feel him inside of you. 

At this point, you didn’t care whether it was his tongue, his fingers or his cock; you just needed to feel something—anything to help soothe the tingling sensation in between your legs. His tongue was warm against your entrance; he placed a soft kiss and looked up at you with the most devilish grin you’ve ever seen before he began nibbling on your folds. A breathy moan fell from your lips as he continued his movements; getting eaten out was an experience you hardly ever got to indulge in. 

Most of the guys expected you to suck them off, but there were only two or three that ever returned the favor. You weren’t going to lie, the few experiences you’ve had with other guys were great—they all seemed to know what they were doing at the time. However, with the way that Jaebeom was nibbling on your clit, flicking and sucking on the nub gently and even inserting two of his fingers deeply inside of your cunt—all of your ex-lovers seemed like beginners. Jaebeom was a professional; he knew exactly where to lick and to suck; his fingers were shoved in and out of you at a rapid pace and it didn’t take long for him to reach your g-spot. 

This was the first time anyone ever accomplished finding your g-spot, let alone eating you out so well. If only you saw his ex after actually experiencing receiving head from him—you could have went even further in to detail just how amazing he was. His hums against your entrance made it clear that he was enjoying this just as much as you were. 

“You—you have no flaws do you baby? You taste—so sweet—so fucking delicious. I could eat you out for hours—days if I put my heart in to it. Honestly, I think I’m having more fun than you are—I love how soaking you are. Your juices are filling up my mouth deliciously. You’re so fucking tight—I can’t wait to feel you wrap this pretty pussy around my cock. How does it feel? How does my tongue feel? I need words y/n.” 

You pulled on his hair as soon as he returned back to his place and reattached his lips to your cunt. He playfully blew his warm breath against your core and with the wait you were clenching your legs around his shoulders, you knew you were so close. 

“Feels—so good Jae—I’m so close—please—faster—“ He flicked at your clit with his fingers and licked his way back and forth along your folds. Before you knew it, you let out a whine and soon you were releasing your juices all over his tongue. He lapped up your cum and sucked on both his fingers; releasing them with a loud pop. Once he was done, he made his way up to you and brought his hands up to your mouth. 

“Open your mouth and suck—I want you to experience just how amazing you taste. You’re so fucking sexy—I’m not usually a huge fan of hair pulling but shit—you can yank on my hair as much as you want to babe. I’m gonna need to eat this pussy at least five times a day.” 

The thought made your eyes roll to the back of your head and honestly—you were all for it. Seeing your essence on his lips made you giggle; how could someone look so cute while doing something so sinful. You stole a kiss from the corner of his mouth before leaning towards him and unbuttoning his dress shirt. 

“It’s not fair that I’m naked and you’re fully clothed.” You tried to take it off as fast as you could but it was hard and he wasn’t of any help; he just laughed at your misfortune and watched as you struggled trying to take out the buttons. 

“I never would have thought watching someone unbutton my shirt would be this hot to watch, maybe I should wear dress shirts all the time—“

“Or maybe you should fucking help me instead of just ogling Jaebeom. If You don’t dick me down in the next two minutes, I’m gonna leave you hard and alone in this room.” 

Normally you weren’t as dominant or confident as you were now; you were always so submissive even outside of sex. Whatever someone would instruct you to do, you did it with no hesitation. But you wanted—needed him to finally give you what you’ve been wanting for so long since the night you lost your virginity. 

When you first had sex—it was an okay experience. It was back in your junior year of high school when your boyfriend at the time asked you if you were willing to take that step in your relationship. He was one of the only boyfriends you genuinely had feelings for and he made you feel good—it wasn’t as painful or awkward as most of your friends explained it to be. But if you could go back in the past, you would have waited to give yourself to the beautiful man in front of you. As soon as his shirt came off, he quickly removed his pants and you leaned back in order to get a better look at him. Y

ou knew that Jaebeom was extremely fit; he went to the gym almost every single day and he only ever ate healthy food—telling you that he needed to “maintain his figure”. You’ve seen him shirtless on multiple occasions and there were a few drunken stupors that you’ve seen him practically naked before, but this was the first time you’d actually get to see him bare; on full display in such an intimate setting. He looked at you in confusion; the blank stare on your face didn’t make him feel all that good. Your best friend was always so confident in his looks, his personality and his physique—yet right now, watching you stare at him with an unreadable expression made him feel like he wasn’t attractive enough. Luckily, your next words confirmed that you were gazing at him in awe of his charming good looks and not in disgust. 

“You’re so hot Jaebeom—who knew you were hiding a six pack under all of those baggy hoodies?” You returned back to him and ran your index finger along his chiseled muscles. Both your breaths hitched as soon as your hand found his cock; you palmed him through his cotton briefs and hummed at how hard he was. 

“May I?” 

He gulped before nodding abruptly. Just like he did with your underwear; you forcefully ripped his off but he didn’t seem to care either. No daydream or any dream for that matter could ever had prepare you for this moment. You had a huge feeling Jaebeom was well endowed; you had a chance to see him in his underwear a few times, but seeing his long and thick girth made your mouth water. 

“Shit Jaebeom—you’re so big baby. I can’t wait to feel you inside of me. Can I—return the favor first—“ You don’t remember ever drooling over someone’s dick before, but just thinking about how good the stretch was going to feel in just a matter of moments was making you heated again. To your dismay, he shook his head and it discouraged you. Did he not like receiving head? What guy didn’t like being sucked off? Or was it because he didn’t think you could do a good job of pleasing him? He’s been with so many girls—you were afraid that you wouldn’t be able to make him feel the ecstasy he just brought you through. Before you could continue overthinking, he brought his hand up to your chin and lifted it so that you were making direct eye contact with him. 

“I want nothing more than to shove my dick down your throat—especially because you were extremely naughty earlier; commanding me and telling me what to do. I should really teach you a lesson and trust me baby, I’ve wanted to see you suck on my cock since July 4th back in junior year and the cafeteria gave us those popsicles and you deepthroated it like it was the easiest thing in the world. Like you said, we have the rest of our lives to experiment—I have so many kinky positions to try and things that I want to do to you. But now—now I need to fuck you.” 

He shoved you down on the bed and found his place in between your legs. He lined himself up at your entrance and ran his cock in between your folds; lubricating himself with your left over juices from your previous orgasm. You closed your eyes to prepare yourself for the stretch—as much as you loved being filled to the hilt with a dick, it was extremely uncomfortable. However, whether it was that he sensed your hesitance or something else popped in to his mind; you didn’t feel him just yet and you opened your eyes to see what was wrong. 

“Jae—“

“I didn’t plan this well—fuck—damnit—I don’t have a fucking condom—shit—I haven’t had sex in years and I obviously didn’t think my dreams were finally going to come true tonight—fuck, y/n I’m so sorry—“ You playfully pinched his cheek and placed a reassuring kiss on his forehead. 

“I’m on the pill if that’s okay with you. I’m a  big fan of raw sex—and hey—we plan on spending the rest of our lives together anyway—so even if I were to get pregnant, then that would be pretty fucking awesome if you ask me. I want your babies one day—but if you’re not okay with that, I’m fine with swallowing your kids for the time being—“

“Oh God, please don’t ever say that again. That is not sexy at all. Are you sure about this y/n? I mean, the thought of fucking you without protection is indescribable—but I don’t want you to feel like you have to just because I’m irresponsible—“

“You would think I’d be used to my words going through one ear and out the other—you never listen to me other than when I offer to buy you food. It’s fine Jaebeom, I want this. Now—do us both a favor and blow my back out.” He gave you a hesitant smile and brought some hair off of your face before adoringly cupping your cheek in his palm. 

“Tell me if it hurts okay? And please let me know when I can move. I love you y/n—I love you so much.” 

He brought his lips to yours for what you assumed was to take your mind off of how uncomfortable the first stretch would feel. It wasn’t painful at all; you’ve had sex enough times to get used to the discomfort. His kisses and the way he was holding your waist protectively was enough to take your mind off of the ache and after a couple of thrusts, you were soon feeling pleasure. You gently gripped at his bicep as a nonverbal way to let him know that he could go faster and thankfully, he understood. 

“Fuck—you’re so fucking tight—your walls feel so good wrapped around me—I think I could cum right now and call it a night honestly—“ you rolled your eyes all the while biting your lip in pleasure. His cock felt so good against your clit; his pelvis kissed the tip of your cervix at a pace that you didn’t think was physically possible. The room was filled with skin on skin slapping against each other as his ass collided with yours. He raised your leg up and placed it behind his head so he could hit you deeper and you were sure that just like him, you weren’t all too far away from your second orgasm. 

“Mmm—JAEBEOM—FUCK—right there—holy shit—“ He brought his hand up to your neck and wrapped around your pressure point; choking you while forcing himself harder inside of your cunt. It was an indescribable experience; you were quickly growing lightheaded but in such a wonderful way. He continued his thrusts; pounding his cock vehemently in and out of your folds. 

“You’re so good to me baby—taking this cock so well—I’m so close y/n—you feel extraordinary—fuck wait—I want to take you from behind, would that be okay? I want to fuck you in to this bed—may I?” 

Out of all the positions, doggy style had to be your favorite. Specifically because you were an exhibitionist and a lot of the times you’ve had sex, you made sure it was in an area where you’d be able to see yourself getting fucked. You enjoyed watching your partner take you from behind; it was lewd and animalistic—it made your sex sessions all that more arousing. Even if the mirror wasn’t facing the two of you—you were extremely excited nonetheless. He pulled himself out of you; earning him an erotic whimper but you turned around and placed your face in to the pillows while lifting your ass up in to the air. He slapped both your cheeks before kneading them and playfully pinching them both. 

“I’m going to tell you this right now and I don’t care if you slap me—but I’ve stared at this beautiful ass many times and I’m not even sorry. I could write a novel about how much your ass alone drives me fucking insane—your whole body is a wonderland and I’m losing my fucking mind.” Thankfully, as soon as he admitted his obsession with your butt, he realigned himself at your folds and didn’t give you any warning before shoving his cock back inside. 

“FUCK—DON’T DO THAT—I’M GONNA COME Y/N STOP—“ His grip on your hips tightened once he felt you clench around him. At first, it was an accident. You were just reacting to how amazing it felt having his hardened length graze along your walls, but now that you knew how much it was affecting him, you wanted to mess around with him. 

“I thought you said no teasing tonight. Fine, two can play at that game babe.” 

No matter how hard and how fast he was pumping himself inside of you, his pace now was merciless. He began to bite and suck on the back of your neck and grunted each and every time his cock kissed your lips. His movements were harder—faster and you couldn’t even form an actual sentence to describe how euphoric you felt. This went on for ten more minutes and before either of you knew it, you felt his warm, creamy liquid fill you to the brim. Not too long after, he coaxed you in to reaching your release by whispering dirty words and sweet nothings in to your ear. 

After coming on his cock, you collapsed on the bed and he plopped his body on top of you. If you weren’t as exhausted as you were at the moment, you would have complained about how heavy his body was lying against yours, but you were so tired and you actually liked the proximity between the two of you. You and Jaebeom laid there for a couple of minutes; trying to catch your breaths and accept reality for what it was. You just made love to the man of your dreams—he was finally yours to love as you were his. Honestly, you didn’t need anything or anyone else. 

You didn’t care what job you were to get in the future; what car you’d end up driving one day or the house you’d end up living in—you would be content living a box as long as Jaebeom was there next to you. Once his breathing returned back to normal, he got off of you and took his place right next to you—turning you to face him. His hair was stuck on his forehead and with all the energy you had left—you let out a little chuckle. 

“This was the best night of my fucking life I can’t even—that was amazing—you were—wow y/n. I think I’m going to become a nymphomaniac and it is all your fault. Shit you felt so good I’ll never get over it. How was that for you though?” You pecked his lips and dragged your thumb along his bottom one. 

“That was wonderful—I’m sure it was ten times more amazing because I’m so in love with you. I’ve never been in love before—so I feel like it just heightens my hormones and made my experience so much more enjoyable. You were remarkable babe. I think I enjoyed that a little too much. I’m so glad we finally put our feelings out there. I don’t think I would have lasted much longer knowing how much I love you and not doing anything about it. I’m sure I would have blurted it out sooner or later. I love you Jaebeom. I’m so happy I can say that now. I love you, I love you, I love you.” 

He looked at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes and pulled you closer to his body before stealing a few fleeting kisses from your lips and running his fingers through your hair. 

“I love you too y/n and I’m going to spend the rest of my life reminding you both physically and verbally on a daily basis just how much. You’ll never have to question my love for you. Now—should I call the front desk and tell them we plan on staying for the rest of this week? I really want to fuck you in the shower and up against the window.” 

The next day—you and Jaebeom relished in your love for a couple of hours before you tapped out. The wedding wasn’t until 6:00 P.M. but you didn’t want to miss out just because you weren’t able to move around. For the rest of the day, the two of you watched a couple of movies and ordered room service. Your cuddling was on a whole other level now, he preferred that you’d sit on his lap rather than just sitting next to him and he always had to have his arms wrapped around you. Once it was time for you both to get ready, he recommended taking a shower together in order to “save time and the environment” but you knew exactly what would happen if you decided to take a shower with him and your mind was set on going to the wedding. 

He let out the most adorable whine but allowed you to take a shower first because he knew you would need more time to get ready. While he was in the shower, you slipped on your dress and began to apply a light amount of make up. Your hair didn’t take too long to dry and you actually finished getting ready around the same time he was. Watching his jaw drop as he walked in to the room at looked at you up and down sent chills down your spine. 

“Yeah—no, there is no way I am letting you go down looking like that—we’re staying here and that dress is going on the floor—“

“Im Jaebeom, I will go to that wedding with or without you. I did not spend half an hour getting dolled up just so we can stay here and have more sex. I’m still sore—keep it in your pants will you? If you’re a good boy then maybe when we come back—I’ll let you have your way with me again. But until then, promise me you’ll be on your best behavior.” He groaned before making his way towards you—wrapping his arms around your waist and releasing a long sigh in to your neck. 

“Fine. Just know I’m rock solid right now and I’ll probably be for the rest of the night until you relieve me. There are a few family restrooms we can make love in—get back here—you can’t attend the wedding without me baby—“ 

The wedding was extremely beautiful. Although you didn’t know either the bride or the groom personally, you found yourself shedding a couple of tears. You’ve always loved going to weddings; witnessing the love two people had for each other was so beautiful. There were so many times you’ve found yourself planning out your future wedding, but you’ve never been with anyone that you’d see yourself starting a family with. The idea of marrying Jaebeom was always in the back of your mind, but you never thought you’d be here right now with his hand inching closer and closer to your core. 

“That’s going to be you and me one day.” You turned around to face him and smiled softly at his sweet words. 

“I can’t wait.” Once the bride and groom said their vows and everyone made their way in to the grand ballroom, the rest of the night came and went with a snap of your finger. You were so caught up in staring at your boyfriend and just thinking about what he said earlier that you didn’t even bother to look around for Ella. She didn’t matter anymore. It may have sounded weird, but you were grateful that she made the awful mistake of cheating on Jaebeom. You hated that she hurt him and make him question himself and what he did wrong, but you were content that it brought the two of you together. 

Your love for Jaebeom only grew stronger as the days went by. If you thought he was the perfect best friend; he was an even more amazing boyfriend. He was quite the gentleman; always called you up to see how your day was going, bought you things that reminded him of you, wrote poems about your beauty and how lucky he was to have you—he even stayed on the phone with your mom for over an hour once to learn how to make your favorite dish. He also tried his best to head over to your place almost every single day and on the days he was too tired from work, he’d make sure to FaceTime with you just so he could get his fill of seeing you. Life with Jaebeom was perfect—honestly too good to be true. Both work and school was rough for you, but the time you’d get to spend with him made it all worth your while. 

Unfortunately, you were putting all your time and energy in to your education, your work and your relationship that you weren’t taking good enough care of yourself. One morning you woke up feeling nauseous and extremely light headed. You just assumed it was because you were either dehydrated or lacking in sleep. Since you didn’t think anything of it, you went about your day like nothing was wrong. You were sitting in class, texting back and forth with your boyfriend when all of a sudden you felt yourself going in and out of your head—you didn’t know how to explain exactly what you were feeling but you knew something wasn’t right. 

It wasn’t until your vision went blurry that you felt like you should make your way towards the nurse’s office; but you collapsed right as you made your way towards the door. The last thing you heard were worried voices telling someone to call an ambulance before everything faded to black. Waking up felt weird; you knew by the white walls and the beeping from what you assumed was a heart monitor that you were in the hospital. Your memory was a blur; you remembered everything leading up to that moment, but you don’t remember being put in the back of an ambulance or even making your way to the hospital. How long have you been asleep for? What exactly caused you to pass out? 

You had a feeling you’ve been sleeping for at least a couple of hours—but then again, what felt like such a short amount of time to you could have been a week for all you knew. The tight hold on your hand was quick to grab your attention and when you looked down to see who it was—even if you had a feeling it was the same person you were hoping it would be, you gently caressed his hand with your thumb. Jaebeom was leaning on your bed; his face was pressed up against your ankle as his hands were intertwined with yours. You didn’t want to wake him up; but your curiosity was getting the best of you. 

“Jaebeom—baby—hey—“ 

You brought your hand in to his hair and began running your fingers through it in attempts to wake him up without startling him. He took his time to wake up but as soon as he realized that it was you calling his name, he sat up abruptly and blinked a few times; as if he was trying to see whether or not he was still sleeping or if he was awake and you were actually real. As soon as he realized that he wasn’t still dreaming, he threw himself towards you and cupped your face in between his hands. 

“Finally, you’re up. How are you feeling baby? God y/n, I was so worried about you. I had a feeling something was wrong when you stopped responding to my text messages and then I got a call from your mom telling me that you fainted and I couldn’t think. I was so scared—do you need me to get you something? Are you hungry? Thirsty? Do you want to use the bathroom? Should I call the doctor—“ 

In your fifteen years of knowing him, you’ve never seen him so distraught before. There’s never been a situation that he ever had to be this frantic or nervous—but it made your heart flutter both seeing and hearing how affected he was that something happened to you. 

“I’m okay babe, I just want you to hold me.” He bit his lip before standing up and placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. 

“Let me go call a doctor and let your parents know your awake. Then I’ll join you on the bed and cuddle the shit out of you.” You frowned as you saw him leave the room, but you understood that he wanted to make sure everything was okay with you. When the doctor came in, he was alone and you wondered where Jaebeom could have gone, but the grim look that he was wearing worried you. 

“Hi there y/n. It’s nice to see that you’re finally awake.”

“Do you mind me asking, how long have I been asleep for?”

“Three days. I’m actually surprised you’re not still in a coma. From what happened to you—I expected you to still be sleeping for at least one more week. How are you feeling?” You shrugged indifferently before sitting upright. 

“Groggy I guess? My body hurts just a little bit, but other than that, I’m fine. Did I pass out because I’m not eating right or getting enough hours of sleep? I’ll admit, I haven’t been taking care of my body as much as I should so is it because of that?” He released a disappointed sigh before shaking his head. 

“Y/n—I don’t know how to tell you this but, one of your kidneys are failing. That’s why your body went in to shock and you ended up collapsing.” 

You looked at him in shock. To be honest, you weren’t all that familiar with how bodies worked. All you knew was you needed to eat right, drink 8 cups of water a day, get at least seven hours of sleep and exercise three to five times a week. You didn’t know much about kidneys other than the fact that they filter out toxins from your body; you weren’t even aware of where it was located. But to hear that one of your kidneys were failing made you extremely nervous. 

“What does that mean exactly?” He walked closer to you and took a seat on the chair Jaebeom was sitting on. It made you grow even more curious as to where he could have been. Did he know? Is that why he seemed so upset? Did the doctor explain to him what happens to people who’s kidneys are failing? 

“Your kidney is one of the most important and vital organs in your body—when it fails, so does everything else. I don’t want to worry you—but most people don’t last long even when on dialysis.” The last thing anyone—especially someone who was only twenty-three years old wanted to hear was that you were going to die soon. You were still so young; there was so much going on for you as of right now. There were so many things you had planned for your future—why was your life on the line? It wasn’t fair. A few tears began to build at the brim of your eyelids—but it was only natural. 

“Is there anything I can do? A surgery I have to undergo or some medication I can take? I’ll do anything doctor. This can’t be it for me.” 

He nodded in understanding; you were sure it was probably hard for him to deliver this kind of news—but it probably wasn’t something he had yet to get used to. As many miracles there were in the hospital, there were just as many tragedies. 

“You could get a kidney transplant, but there’s a list. Kidneys are one of those organs that are harder to get next to a heart. I’ll put you on the list right now, but I’m sure there’s at least thirty people waiting for a donor. What we can do is test some of your loved ones to see if they have the same blood type as you and if they’re willing to give you one of their kidneys, then there’s no having to go on the list and your health will be good as new.” 

The thought of having to ask someone for their kidney made you want to cry. You knew your parents would offer their kidneys in a heartbreak—but there was no way you could do that to either of them. Even if people could live on just one kidney, what if down the road, that kidney ends up failing itself? As much as you did not want to die, you refused to put someone else’s life at jeopardy just to save yours. 

“I see. I’ll talk to my family about it. Thank you so much doctor.” 

He gave you a sad smile and told you that he’d get a nurse to bring in some food before leaving you all alone with your thoughts. You didn’t know what to do or what to think. What could you do other than cry, pray and hope for the best? He didn’t have to say it outright, but you knew he was indirectly explaining that your chances of living were very slim. 

You allowed yourself to break down; you didn’t want to cry in front of anyone—especially not Jaebeom. He was already worried as it was—you didn’t need to add on to his problems. When you heard footsteps approaching the door just a couple of minutes after the doctor left, you wiped away your tears and put on the fakest smile you could muster. 

“My baby! I’m so glad you’re finally up—you poor thing. When the hospital called me, I almost ended up passing out myself. What did the doctor say? I told you—you need to take care of yourself better y/n—“

“I’m dying mom. One of my kidneys are failing. He didn’t say why or how—I’m assuming it might be hereditary but there’s nothing I can do other than get a transplant—but he said the list is backed up. There are at least thirty people ahead of me.” 

Right as you finished relaying the news, you could have sworn your heart broke as soon as your mom let out the most gut wrenching sob. Sure, it was already so much for you to take in as the person who was just minutes away from death—but as a mother, hearing that your child is sick must feel like their entire world was falling apart. Besides Jaebeom, your mom was your best friend. She had to be your favorite person in the world; and you were hoping that one day, you’d be even half as an amazing mother to your kids as she is to you. 

She joined you on the bed and pulled you in to her embrace. The two of you just sat there crying for quite some time; you failed to notice Jaebeom walk in nor did you see him walk right out in order to give you and your mom some space. 

“You’re going to be fine y/n okay? I will make sure of it. I’m going to get tested and I’m sure your father would love to see if he’s a match and Jaebeom—“

“No—please—I can’t ask any of you to do such a thing like that for me.” She looked insulted; as if you said something to hurt her feelings but you knew she was just sad. 

“Y/n, I’m your mother—I’ll do anything for you baby girl. I’m not going to lose you—no—not if there’s anything I can do about it. Don’t give up okay? Don’t lose hope. Everything will be okay in the end.” Her fingers felt nice in your hair; her touch was featherlight and she began humming softly while placing a kiss on your cheek. 

“Mom. Can you do me a favor?” She nodded without hesitation. “Please don’t tell Jaebeom. The last thing he needs is to worry about me. He already has so much on his plate. His dying girlfriend should be the last of his worries—“

“Y/n, you can’t be serious right now. I wish I could have recorded just how worried he sounded when I told him you were at the hospital. I’ve never seen someone so in love with another person the way Jaebeom is in love with you. You can’t do that to him—it’s not fair to him. You’re his main priority y/n and think about it like this—what if he was the one who was sick and kept something so important like a failing kidney from you? How would you feel? Devastated right? I’m sure he’ll be broken-hearted if he were to find out when it’s too late. He’s been in your life for such a long time y/n—as your boyfriend, and your best friend, he deserves to hear the truth.” 

You knew she was right—if Jaebeom kept that a secret from you, you’d be so hurt and betrayed. But you felt like you were protecting him by keeping it a secret. 

“Fine I promise I will tell him on my own time. But you need to promise me that you won’t say a thing. Okay?” 

She hesitantly nodded; your mom wasn’t stupid. She knew you just as much and if not more than you knew yourself. No matter how much she would tell you what to do, that didn’t mean you would listen. You were stubborn and hardheaded as hell; you were also the type to suffer in silence by yourself. You didn’t like being a burden to people. 

When you were discharged from the hospital only two days later, Jaebeom forced you to stay with him at his apartment so that he could take care of you. He was afraid that you could collapse again; so he called you out from both your school and your workplace so you had a good amount of time to relax. He also made it a habit to feed you every three hours in order to make sure you were getting as much nutrients as your body needed to survive on. 

A week later, you returned back to your apartment with the excuse that you were feeling better and that you missed the comfort of your own space and hesitantly—he let you. But he got you to promise him that you would text him as much as possible; especially if he wasn’t able to check up on you. It was then that you decided to shut him and anyone out of your life completely. You were stupid to come up with that decision; what good would it do by ignoring everybody in your life. 

Especially the person—your person who meant the entire world to you. If you were dying, you didn’t want to make it harder on anyone; specifically Jaebeom and your parents to spend so much time with them only to pass away sooner than you expected. You cried for what felt like hours when you turned off your phone. You knew that wasn’t going to be enough though; Jaebeom was relentless. He arrived at your apartment just a few hours later—pounding on your door repeatedly while screaming for you to open it. 

Your heart was begging for you to open the door. How could you do this to him? You claim to be shutting him out in order to protect him, yet it was obvious you were breaking his heart. With each pound at your door, you could feel your heart tearing. Why did you fall in love? Why did you allow yourself to get so attached that now you didn’t want to leave even if you didn’t have the choice? You weren’t afraid of death—no. Everybody dies, it’s apart of life. You were afraid of no longer being with Jaebeom. 

No longer getting to see his handsome face or being the reason being his laughter. No longer getting to hold him and be held by him. No longer getting to kiss him and just basking in his existence. Not getting the chance to have a future together—that’s what was hurting you the most. He came by every single day; crying and begging for you to let him in. He told you he had no idea what he did wrong and he thought this was your way of breaking up with him, but he couldn’t understand why. 

Everything was going so well between the two of you just hours before you were administered in to the hospital. Did he say something to upset you? Did you just want to be by yourself right now? Why were you pushing him away when it was obvious that this was the time you needed him the most? You wanted him to hold you as you cried and to tell you everything was going to be okay—even if it wasn’t. 

All you did for the rest of that week other than crying is eat and sleep. You didn’t have the energy nor the motivation to do anything. A week later, you decided to turn on your phone just to make sure nothing bad happened. Seeing over hundreds of texts, calls and voicemails from your boyfriend made you feel like complete and utter shit. You never believed you deserved Jaebeom; even months in to your relationship, you felt as though he deserved someone so much better than you. 

You’ve never hated yourself as much as you did right now. A part of you wanted to read his messages or to listen to one of his voicemails because you missed him like crazy—but you were well aware that it would only make you feel worse. You did notice a number you didn’t recognize call you at least three times and when you listened to the voicemail, you felt as if the entire world stopped. 

“Hi, this message is for Y/n Y/l/n. This is Dr.Kim calling from Queen’s Medical Center. I am excited to inform you that we found a donor for you. Please get back to me as soon as possible. Thank you.” 

You couldn’t believe it—there had to be a catch. Just days ago, he told you that it wasn’t looking too good in your favor but now he said there was a donor for you? Was there thirty other people willing to give their kidneys to those needing a transplant before you? You didn’t want to get too excited; you couldn’t stop your conscience telling you that there was a chance your mom was a match and she offered her kidney. Your initial instinct was to call her first before calling the doctor back, but it’s already been three days. 

If you waited any longer, they could give the kidney to someone else and even if you weren’t too sure if you wanted to accept the transplant, you weren’t going to be rude if someone was already offering it. 

“Hi y/n! How are you? I hope you’re doing well! I’m so excited to say that we found someone with the same blood type as you to donate their kidney. Never in my twenty years of being a doctor have I seen such a case like this—I call it a miracle. I’d recommend you come down to the hospital as soon as you can so we can give you the transplant.” 

You felt overwhelmed—you were undoubtedly content that you were giving the chance to live but you were still curious as to how there was a donor in just a span of a week when some people have been on that list for years. 

“Would you happen to know who the person is whose kidney I’m being given?”

“I have no idea. Sorry. I look forward to seeing you soon y/n. Drive safely.” 

You drank a few cups of water and took a bite out of a sandwich that’s been in your fridge for almost a month now, but you had no appetite at all. As you made your way to the hospital, you found yourself hovering your finger over Jaebeom’s contact. You were given another chance at being able to spend the rest of your life with him—but you fucked it all up. He had to hate your guts for all that you made him suffer through and you couldn’t blame him. 

After you pulled up to the hospital and looked around for doctor Kim, the nurses had you wait in the lobby so they could prepare the surgery table for you. The process didn’t take too long and when doctor Kim came out to explain just how lucky you were to be the recipient of a kidney in such a short amount of time and had the nurses prep you for surgery, you just wanted to get it all over with. The surgery room was extremely bright and you were wearing nothing but a hospital gown. You were told that kidney transplant surgeries took about five to seven hours but because they were putting you on anesthesia, it would feel like five minutes. 

One of the nurses placed the mask on top of your mouth and had you count to ten—but you didn’t even make it to six before passing out completely. Just like the day you collapsed in your lecture hall, you don’t remember falling asleep. It felt good being awake again; but this time was worse than the last. Everything hurt and your mouth felt so dry. Nothing came out of your mouth as you tried to speak up and call for a doctor. 

However, you did feel a pair of hands gripping at your arm and this all felt like deja vu. You were afraid of it being Jaebeom—you didn’t think you deserved for him to come see you and you didn’t think you’d be able to look at him without crying at the thought of how much you’ve broken him. Once you realized it was your mom, you let out a sigh of relief yet you were disappointed it wasn’t your boyfriend. As soon as your mom felt you stirring, she looked up at you and you could’ve sworn her pained expression would be forever imprinted on the back of your mind. 

“Hi mom.” She furrowed her brows before bringing your hand up to her lips and placing a kiss on the back of it. Her expression was quick to change though and before you knew it, she smacked your arm all but gently. 

“You stubborn girl. What is wrong with you? How could you do that to us. You know how worried I was—we all were? What if you were to die huh? There wouldn’t be any way for us to come and get you. You’ve made some pretty stupid choices in your life y/n but this had to be the stupidest thing you could have ever done. And don’t even get me started with the hell you put Jaebeom through. As your mother, I was so mad at you but the poor boy—he thought he did something wrong. He wouldn’t stop blaming himself for something he had no control over—“ You didn’t want to interrupt your mom; especially because she was furious but you needed to know. 

“Where is he?” She stopped her scolding completely as she directed her attention towards anything other than you. 

Oh no. It couldn’t be. 

“Mom. I asked you a question—“

“I think I should go get the doctor and tell him you’re awake—“

“Mom! Answer me! Where is Jaebeom?”

The look of guilt on her face made it all the more adamant that she knew exactly where he was but she didn’t want you to know. She was silent for five minutes; contemplating on how she should go about telling you just how they were able to find you a donor in just a matter of days. 

“I told him.” You looked at her in shock; that was the one thing you did not want her to do. If Jaebeom were to find out about your situation, he wouldn’t hesitate to go and get tested to see if he was a match. 

“I kept it a secret for as long as I could. But when he came over to our house, asking me if I’ve heard from you and if something was wrong—I couldn’t keep lying to him y/n. It was hard for me to look at him, watch him cry and plead to even hear that you were okay; you’re so selfish. I know it was a lot to take in, but I told you we would handle it didn’t I? We’re in this together y/n. Right after I told him, he came here and took the test to see if his kidneys were healthy enough for him to live on just one. You’re both O positive and he didn’t even hesitate to give it to you. He’s still healing but the doctor said he can be discharged tomorrow.” 

All the color drained from your face and you felt like you were going to throw up. Why would he do something so stupid—so foolish; giving away a kidney isn’t something simple like buying someone a gift; or doing their homework for them. This was something he wasn’t able to take back. He was now putting his own health at risk and at what cost? Just so you could live longer? What if this only shortened his life? The doctor said people could survive with only one kidney, but what if his other one failed later on in life? What happens then? 

You wanted to be grateful that he would do such a thing; you obviously meant so much to him that he was willing to give you a part of himself in order to keep you alive. However, you were angry—not so much with him, but this entire situation.

“I can tell you’re overthinking things right now and I just want you to stop. I know that if he was the one dying, you would have done the same thing—so stop. Just be thankful that he did this. Don’t get mad at him; this was already such a big decision for him to make and he made it in a heartbeat. He did this because he loves you y/n. How do you think he would feel seeing you so upset over this as the person who gave you his kidney? Sometimes we do things for the people we love without even a second thought. All we care about is making them happy and keeping them safe. Exactly what Jaebeom did for you. Now, I’m going to go get a doctor, don’t do anything reckless while I’m gone.”

As soon as she left you all alone, you completely fell apart. You ignored him. You lied to him. You tried to leave him and keep him out of your life to protect him from your unfortunate fate yet he gave himself for you. He put his life on the line in order to save yours. Your mom had a point, if it was Jaebeom who needed a kidney, you wouldn’t hesitate to give him yours. With the entire Ella circumstance, although you were hesitant on helping him out for obvious reasons, you gave in because you wanted to help him in any way you possibly could—much like he just did now. 

No matter how many times Jaebeom told you and even showed you how much he loved you, this just set it all in stone. When your mom returned with the doctor and he explained how the healing process worked and what was going to happen now that you had a new kidney, all you wanted to do was find Jaebeom. You wanted to see him yourself and personally thank him for his sacrifice. Your mom told you to get some rest and that she would let you see Jaebeom later, but she knew she wasn’t going to win any argument with you—and you had every right to go and see him. It’s only been a week since you last saw the older boy but it felt like a year—a long, grueling, heartbreaking year. 

As the nurse pushed you in a wheelchair towards his room, there were negative thoughts that began to fill up your mind. Does he regret doing this? What if for some reason one day, we call it quits, is he going to regret it then? What if he wanted nothing to do with you? What if giving you his kidney was his goodbye gift to you? 

Your heart rate only increased as she brought you right outside the door and told you that she wanted to see if he was awake before letting you inside. You weren’t the biggest fan of hospitals; there was one time you tripped and fell in your freshman year and sprained your ankle and you had to stay over two weeks in order to get the surgery and the rest you needed to completely heal. 

The man you were only seconds away from seeing again stayed with you throughout your entire stay. He went to school every morning even if he didn’t want to; but came to be with you as soon as the last bell rang. Even at the prime age of fifteen, Jaebeom always put you first. What did you do to deserve someone who loves you as much as he does? 

“He’s awake now—I didn’t tell him you’re here to see him because I’m sure you want to surprise him. Are you ready?” 

You nodded slowly and took in a deep breath as she wheeled you in to his room. There were countless “get well” balloons and many beautiful bouquets of flowers spread throughout the small space. Jaebeom was a very popular person his entire life—you weren’t surprised to see just how many people were wishing him a speedy recovery. You wondered if anyone knew why he was currently in the hospital. 

As soon as your eyes landed on him, your breath hitched and you wanted to cry again. He currently had so many wires attached to him and there was a couple of bruises on his body; your doctor explained that it was natural for both your bodies to change—especially his since he no longer had both of his kidneys. You wanted nothing more that to hold him and to tell him just how grateful you were for everything; not just for his generosity—although there was no way you’d be able to top this at all, but just for everything he’s done for you since you first became friends. 

“Jaebeom sweetheart, look who came to see you. I’ll give the two of you some space while I go get something for you both to snack on. Just press the help button if you need assistance before I get back.” You kept your eyes on his bed; not wanting to see the way he was looking at you or you would surely break out in tears. 

“Hi.” You began to pick at your fingers out of nervousness. If only you could read minds; you wanted so badly to know what he was thinking. Jaebeom was never a man of words—he preferred actions. You had a feeling he wouldn’t confess even one thought that was going through his mind right now nor did you want to force anything out of him. 

“Hey.” Silence filled the room once you both acknowledged the other’s presence; you didn’t know what to say and with the way he didn’t speak up either—neither did he. 

“How are you feeling?” His question is what got you to finally look at him. He looked exhausted beyond belief and his face was exceedingly smaller and more pale. His eyes were puffy and both his hair and facial hair were growing faster than normal. 

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He shrugged and you felt terrible. The two of you were acting as if you were strangers. This was your best friend—the love of your life; your soulmate. Why were you treating him like you had no idea who he was. 

“Jaebeom I don’t know where to start. Well I do—thank you. Thank you so much. I don’t think I will ever be able to repay you. You saved my life—I’m forever indebted to you Im Jaebeom. I hope you know I would have done the same exact thing for you. I know this is a stupid question to ask, especially because I am well aware of what the answer is, I just want to hear you say it—how—why would you do this? Do you understand how big of a sacrifice you made? A kidney isn’t a small thing Jaebeom; people wait years for one—“

“You just answered your own question y/n. How many times do I have to tell you this for you to get it through that pretty yet extremely stubborn head of yours? I would do anything for you. Anything. I’d give my life up for you—you should know that by now. Fuck—I hated being away from you and I hated that you were trying to push me away. I of all people should have been the first person you ran through. I’m your boyfriend and your best friend y/n. You should feel like you’re able to come and tell me things like this. Especially a life or death situation. What did you think was going to happen if you stayed away huh? What good was that going to do? I honestly don’t know what I would do if I were to lose you. I know—giving away a kidney is a big deal but I didn’t care about anything in that moment. Your mom told me you didn’t want me worrying about you and that’s why you kept it between yourselves—but how could I not worry? It’s not just your future we’re talking about it’s mine too. What, did you think everything would be fine and dandy if you were to die? You’re crazy for even thinking that I wouldn’t want to do this for you. I did it for you and for us—so I can have you for so many more years to come. I love you y/n—so much that it actually scares me but not in a bad way if that makes sense.” 

You moved closer to him and tried your best to get up from your wheelchair in order to join him on the bed. You were sure that if you were to look in the mirror right now—you’d see just how his words practically wrecked you. He laughed softly to himself when he saw you struggle and took matters in to his own hands; he slowly got up and reached for your hand, pulling you towards him and you didn’t even give him a second to make himself comfortable before connecting your lips with his in a passionate kiss. He smiled widely against your mouth. Since he was still pretty lethargic and not quite himself just yet, he had to stop the kiss from escalating any further, no matter how badly he wanted to continue feeling your lips on his. 

“I’ve missed you. Don’t ever do that to me again. Just for that, I hope you know I’m forcing you to move in with me so that I can keep my eye on you. I don’t know why we didn’t move in together sooner, there’s nothing I want more than to go to sleep with you wrapped in my arms and to wake up to your beautiful face and stinky morning breath.” 

You gave him a small pout at his words before nodding in agreement. The idea of moving in with Jaebeom sent fire to your bones. You were more than happy to be able to share a space with him—you always wanted to be around him. The two of you only spent most of your time together at each other’s places, so it only made sense that you both moved in together. You placed a soft kiss on his bottom lip before bringing your hand up just above his eyebrow; tracing his two moles that you adored so much ever so gently. 

“I just didn’t want to end up hurting you if something were to happen to me. As soon as the doctor told me the news, my mind went blank and you were the first person I thought of. I cried at the thought of having to leave you and I thought it would be easier for you to get used to living without me—“

“Well you thought wrong—“ You gently slapped his shoulder before placing a few pecks on his lips.

“Hey, I let you talk without interrupting you. Now let me speak. I was devastated when I heard that my chances of living were slim. It was like there was no hope for me and I didn’t want to get your hopes up either. I’m sure nobody wants to die, especially at such a young age but I was more afraid of no longer having you around and what would happen to you if something did happen to me to even care about what goes on after we die. I can’t even form a plausible sentence to describe how thankful I am that you did this. Thank you for loving me Jaebeom. Thank you for just being you. I can’t even tell you how much your sacrifice means to me. I never once questioned your love for me; you never fail to remind me that you’re so madly in love with me and trust me when I say this, I love you with every fiber of my being—with every single breath that I take. You’re the reason for my existence Jae. To be able to love you and be the extremely lucky person who gets to be loved by you is something I will always be grateful for. You are an extraordinary human being. People like you only come one in a lifetime. I love being able to wake up every morning knowing that you are my person. I don’t say it as much as I should and I’m going to work on that. I want to be a better girlfriend because it’s what you deserve. But I will do anything in my power to show you that my heart is yours. That I am wholeheartedly and irrevocably in love with you.”

When you saw tears building up at the corner of his eyelids, you had to stifle back a laugh. It took a lot for Jaebeom to cry; he wasn’t a sensitive guy so it did melt your heart seeing him so worked up over the thought of no longer having you in his life. God, you were so in love with him. How did you stay away from him for even just a week? You had to be insane. This entire situation made it crystal clear for you—no matter what happened in your life, there was no way you could ever be without Im Jaebeom. 

“A life without you is a life I never want to live. If my kidney ends up failing later down the road—then I’ll dying knowing I gave my life to save yours. To keep you around. I’d give you my heart if you needed it—you’re the owner of it anyway. I wanted to do this for so many reasons baby and I would do it again and again if I had to. It’s you and me for life y/n—I’m yours forever. Oh, and I just want to let you know that I plan on using the fact that you now have one of my kidneys to my advantage just to get on your nerves. If I’m hungry and I want you to make me something—just remember, I gave you my kidney. And this goes for anything else. If there’s only one cookie left or I want to choose a movie for us to watch—my organ is what’s keeping you alive. Think of it this way, you’ll always have a part of me inside of you even if I’m not physically inside of you. I hope you know once we’re both released and completely healed that I expect you to show me just how grateful you are while on your knees—okay I obviously made the wrong decision, give me back my kidney.” 

You gave him the most adorable scowl to which he placed a long, sloppy kiss on your lips and pulled you closer to his body as humanly possible. You’ve missed being in his arms, it’s when you felt the safest and the most at ease. Im Jaebeom in more or less words was an actual angel sent to you to take care of you and you were going to spend the rest of your life showing him just how over the moon you were to call him yours. 

“All jokes aside baby, you mean everything to me y/n and I can’t wait to see what life has in store for us.”

[lunatens]

since we’re alone

word count: 1.7k

genre: angst + fluff

pairing: hwang hyunjin x gender neutral reader

requested by...too many people to count ksjdfbskg 

a/n: im so sorry this took so long, i think like 10+ people asked for me to write a sequel (which is kind of a lot considering tmta has like..less than 100 notes lmao) but i really struggled to find the motivation til now ;-; i really hope you guys like the direction i decided to take this!! also yes i did name this series after niall horan songs what about it

*this is a sequel to “too much to ask” so if you haven’t read that, you probably should read it first!*

-

confusion hits you as the rosy glow of the morning sun lands on your face. why the hell is it so bright? you groan as you pry open your sleepy eyes only to see the sunrise blazing through the large windows of your living room, and the memories of last night’s events come back to you. your head hurts a bit; probably a mixture of the morning light, the alcohol you had last night, and then crying yourself to sleep. 

you rub the sleep from your eyes, surprised to see a blanket you don’t remember using falling to the floor as you stretch. you reach for your phone on the coffee table to check the time—too early to be awake, dammit—only to notice a glass of water right there. yeah, that definitely wasn’t there when you fell asleep. picking it up, the cool condensation leaves your fingers wet to the touch, and the icy water feels nice on your throat. 

your eyes begin to water as more and more of what happened last night comes back you—in particular the words you said to him in your drunken state. a tsunami of guilt washes over you, mixed with lingering waves of anger and hurt. taking another sip of the water, you try to calm down and think about things. maybe it’s best to talk to hyunjin about this and tell him everything that’s on your mind now that you’re sober. yeah, that’ll work. 

you groggily stand up from the couch, pulling the blanket over your shoulders like a cape and letting it drag along the floor as you tentatively walk to the bedroom. the door swings open with a quiet creak, and you bite your lip nervously. 

“hyunjin?” you call into the darkness, voice loud enough to wake him but gentle enough not to startle him. you’re met with silence, and you frown as your eyes adjust a bit to the darkness only to see an empty bed in front of you, cotton sheets carelessly thrown aside. your heart sinks deep into your chest, the small rays of hope and forgiveness quickly fading. gone to practice again, you’re not even sure if he’ll be back until later and even then he might not return at all, considering what you said to him last night. your heart feels like it’s been torn in two; you were ready to talk things out with hyunjin and work towards a solution, already ready to forgive him, so seeing him leave just like any other day sends daggers through your heart. 

“he could’ve at least made the bed,” you grumble to yourself, haphazardly throwing the sheets and pillow back to where they belong. as you do so, you can’t help but wonder if maybe it really is for the best if you just end things with him. sure, there are lots of great moments with hyunjin and you have so many special memories together, not to mention the fact that you’re completely head over heels in love with him, but as high as the highs in your relationship feel, the lows are just as extreme, if not even more so. you check your phone again, the lack of any sort of message from hyunjin helping you make up your mind; when he hopefully comes home tonight, you’ll break things off with him.

you shuffle back out to the living room, now brightly lit by the fully-risen morning sun. flopping down on the couch, you grab the remote so you can look for something mindless to watch; maybe it’ll help take your mind off of the impending doom that ticks ever closer to you, since you’re too antsy to go back to sleep. you’re about to turn the tv on when a loud thump at the door startles you into dropping the remote. you turn to look at the door, peerings over the couch wide-eyed as you hear keys fumbling in the lock before the handle clicks and the door swings open. when hyunjin’s tall frame quietly enters the room, you think your heart must’ve stopped beating for a moment. your emotions are in turmoil as a million questions and thoughts race through your mind; what’s he doing back so early? do i still break up with him? where did he go if not practice and schedules? and what’s in that box??

hyunjin gently places a white box on the nearest surface before putting his jacket and mask away. you don’t think he’s noticed you’re awake yet, as he seems to be trying his best to be silent. you almost giggle at the thought, but then you remember you’re mad at him and you just continue curiously watching his actions. he finally turns to peek over at the couch, expecting to see your still sleeping form, so when his eyes meet yours he’s a bit taken aback. 

“oh, um, goodmorning y/n,” he greets, a little bit awkward. you can tell he’s having trouble reading your emotions and he’s trying to tread carefully, so you remain quiet to see what he’s up to. he picks up the box in both hands and walks over to you, placing the box on the table beside your empty water glass and sitting down beside you. you turn to look at him, expression neutral as he furrows his eyebrows and takes your hands in his. 

“y/n, i am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday. i-i know that doesn’t cut it, but i can’t even describe to you how sorry i am. i love you so so much, and i really don’t want to lose you. i understand if you don’t feel the same and you’d rather just en-end it, but i want to do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”

you didn’t even notice you were crying until his thumb is swiping away a tear on your cheek. he leaves his hand up against your face, and you can’t help but lean into his touch. 

“you’ve been so supportive of me following my dreams and being an idol, and i’ve been awful at showing you how much you mean to me. so i’m taking today off, i’ve told chan what happened and he said he’ll cover for me, so now i can be here with you. is...is that okay?” hyunjin asks, eyes searching yours to try and read what your tears mean--are you sad? do you hate him forever? 

all you can think to do right now is lean forward to capture his lips in a deep kiss. as soon as your lips touch you can feel the relief wash through both yourself and him. he pulls you closer and wraps his arms tight around you as if he’s never letting go. you pull apart with a soft giggle, wiping your tears away and gently smiling.

“i love you too, jinnie. we can make this work, just please-please don’t make promises you can’t keep ever again, ok?” you ask as you squeeze him in a tight hug, breathing in the welcoming scent of his sweater. he kisses your forehead and lightly caresses your tear-stained cheek.

“deal,” he says, and the two of you just lie there in each other’s arms in silence, your arms wrapped tightly around hyunjin’s torso and his fingers tracing circles on your back. you’re overwhelmed with emotions right now, and you hardly know what to think, but you’re relieved to have hyunjin back in your arms. suddenly, you remember you still don’t know where he went this morning.

“what’s in the box?” you ask as you pull away to examine it, reaching out to touch the white cardboard.

“ah, i mean it’s nothing really, i mean it’s a day late anyways and it’s so early i could hardly find anywhere that was open, let alone actually had something decent,” hyunjin rambles as you open the lid to see a small cake inside with “happy birthday y/n! sorry i ruined your birthday” written in purple icing. the sight makes your heart swell with happiness and you can’t hold back the smile in your face. 

“you got up this early just to get me a cake?” you ask in excitement; if this is hyunjin’s way of making things up to you, it’s definitely working. 

“not just a cake,” he says nervously as he pulls a smaller white box out of his pocket and hands it to you. opening it, you see a delicate silver chain necklace with a tiny locket on it. inside the locket is a super dumb picture of you and hyunjin from back when your first started dating, and the word “stay” is engraved on the back. you blink furiously, trying and failing to rid yourself of the tears filling your eyes.

“i was gonna give this to you yesterday, but i felt like it might not have been the bets time...and i know it’s kind of cheesy, but i wanted you to always have something to remember me by when i’m away. i got one for myself too so you’ll be with me too, i’m gonna try to even sneak it with me on stage so you’ll always be by my side,” he says, cheeks flushed with embarrassment but that just makes the moment even sweeter. 

“i love it so much, hyunjin, thank you,” is all you can say in fear you’ll burst into tears if you speak any more words. you lean in to press another kiss to his soft lips, this time lingering so you can savour this moment. hyunjin helps you put the locket around your neck, and you do the same for him, smiling shyly at each other.

“so what do you say we dig into this cake and get the day started?” hyunjin asks.

“but it’s so early to eat cake!” you respond, to which hyunjin shrugs his shoulders. 

“who cares, we have the whole day to spend together and we can do whatever the hell we want,” he says with a smile, and you couldn't be happier to have hyunjin in your life.

[clairecrive]

“More” - Tommy Conlon x reader

Send me a character and a number and I’ll write something based on the song that comes on shuffle. Soo, this wasn’t supposed to be a full imagine and that’s also why it took me so long to post it. I have other requests and this was supposed to be something short and fun but it turned out to be long and fluffy and I’m not even mad about it. I know I’ve been kinda absent this week so I’ll try and double update today and post tomorrow as well.

Please be patient with me, I’m trying my best, I just need to find a new balance between this blog, online lessons and my life basically.

Tag list: @deaflikehawkeye​ @mollybegger-blog​ @br0ck-eddie​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @fandom--0verdose​ @innerpaperexpertcloud​ @evelynshelby​ (let me know if you wanna be added)

Song: "More" by 5sos

"And all the things that we dream about

They don't mean what they did before

I just wanna get back to us

'Cause we used to have more"

Tommy Conlon was sitting in front of you looking like a shell of himself but at the same time just like the guy you remembered. He had always been bulky and fit thanks to his strict regime both in the gym and in the kitchen. Being in prison for a while surely contributed to it seeing as there wasn't much you could do in the confinement of a cell or much you could eat for the unsavory food they gave him. If it was possible, his muscles were even bigger than the last time you had seen him and for a moment you wondered if he had his clothes especially made. However, knowing Tommy you immediately dismissed the thought.

If his appearance had only slightly changed, the thing that struck you the most was the look in his eyes. Ever the silent and reserved guy, Tommy had never been one of many words but he was always able to convey any message or emotion through his eyes. Because of his troubled past, his eyes were always troubled and unfocused on the matter at hand, too busy worrying about his family situation. Now, the look behind his eyes was steadier and more focused. You had the feeling that when he looked at you he didn't see the ghost of his mother or whatever was troubling him but he was finally seeing you. It didn't matter that you were just catching up talking about everything and anything, you could tell that he was taking in every word you were saying. He was here with you in this moment and that made you even happier than seeing him after such a long time. Because that meant that he had somehow tamed the demons of his past and was finally living his life a little lighter.

You and Tommy went way back. You were aware of his past, both with his family and the marines. You had always been by his side, trying to lighten his days and to share the baggage he had with him since childhood but to no avail. You understood that it was something deeply personal that he had to deal with himself and on his own terms but it didn't hurt any less the realization that what you did wasn't enough and that he had to leave. Your 12 years old self didn't understand that and took it too personally that she had to when it had nothing to do with you.

This wasn't the first time you had seen Tommy after your shared childhood and early teen years. Somehow, you were both at the same time and place once and the universe did the trick. It had been ten years since the last time you saw him and right then and there you didn't recognize him. He was a totally different person than from the young boy you knew. You, however, hadn't changed that much and Tommy immediately connected your face to one of the few people of his old life, he didn't despise. Since that day, you had pretty much been inseparable. Of course, you both had your schedules and routines by then but you both worked to get them to fit with one another and soon you were basically living together.

While you were studying during the day Tommy would spend his mornings at the gym. Afternoons were rarely spent together, you would be working and Tommy too. Evenings were your shared time. Without fail, you would meet and spend time together, be it sharing a meal or doing other activities. It was as if those ten years had never passed and you soon found that balance that had made your bond special. However, Tommy had his burden and no matter what you did, you couldn't help him. There were things that we have to deal with alone and Tommy wasn't there yet at that time. He was angry, at everything and everyone, and while that was great for it fuel him for his matches, it didn't help him deal with his everyday life in a peaceful way. There was nothing peaceful about him in those days. It wasn't as if he got you stuck with or he treated you badly. It's just that he fell into unhealthy and toxic routines and habits that of course, took their toll on you too. You had never really talked about your relationship, you didn't really label it but you cared about it. Hell, you even admitted to your self and him that you loved him. You did. But unfortunately for both of you, love wasn't enough to get him out of that dark circle.

So you left him. Even though it didn't happen in the best of circumstances and you certainly didn't keep in touch afterwards, you always associated Tommy with your happiest memories and you were certain that he didn't resent you for your decision either. As you couldn't blame him for what happened to him that screwed him over, he also couldn't fault you for deciding to call him out on his bullshit and take a step back when it all became too much to bear.

Then Sparta happened and your heart broke as well as Tommy's shoulder during the finale and even more so when you learned about what was going to happen to him after the competition was over. You tried to stay updated while he was on trial but after he was sentenced you kinda got lost in your everyday life. The thought of visiting him had once passed your mind, but why would you? I mean yes, you still loved him and cared about him but you hadn't spoken nor seen him in forever so how were you going to just pop up one day in prison? Who told you that he even wanted to see you?

No one did and so you didn't. Tommy had never really left your heart nor your mind but it was easy to push it back and focus on your career, immersing yourself in work had always proved to be successful in making you so tired that by the time you got home you didn't know how to do 2+2.

You could swear that not even a year had gone by after Tommy had been sentenced to prison but when he reached to you, one day out of the blue, you soon was met to the harsh reality that almost two years had gone by, marking almost four years since you broke up.

That was a lot of time and a lot of things had changed, but you'd be fooling nobody if you said that your eyes didn't sparkle as they used to, when they saw the familiar silhouette waiting for you at the bar you'd picked.

"It's so nice seeing you out and about, Tommy. You seem like you're doing fine." In those two years, Tommy had managed to deal not only with prison but also got himself into therapy when he got out. He had started a couple of months back and it really was showing. His gloomy appearance was a thing of the past and now there was only room for funny and carefree Tommy. Well, that was not to say that he put it all behind him but he certainly had it under control now and you couldn't help but admire him with pride and affection.

"I've put it off long enough. It's time." He modestly confessed with a little smile that you couldn't help but mirror. Neither of you added anything, just stared at one another. So much had happened between you that it seemed pointless now to indulge in trivial chit chat. While you took a sip of your lukewarm tea, he cleared his throat and reached for you the hand that wasn't holding the cup.

"I've been meaning to call you for a while actually, but I... couldn't find the courage." He timidly started.

"Is that so?" You curiously ask, tightening your hold on his hand.

"I thought that I was the last person you'd want to see after what happened. I was surprised actually that you said yes to this meeting."

"Oh Tommy," you said taking his other hand in yours too, " you know that I've never blamed for what happened. Maybe we were simply not meant to be." Grudgingly you admitted while forcing the sour tone away from your words.

"You know that I've never believed in that fate shit and now I'm ever more convinced that it's indeed a load of bullshit?" he asked shuffling on his chair, " Because I'm in a point in my life where I finally have it under control, you know? So I guess you could say that I have everything that I've ever wished for, right?" He waited just a moment to let his words sink in, "And you couldn't be more wrong. All I want is just to get back to us." He delivered the last blow as he slowly met your confused gaze.

God knows how many nights you had dreamed about this very moment. But you were confused. Was he really saying that he also harbored the same feelings you had for him after all this time? Wasn't it all doomed from the start? You had tried before and it didn't work out. Would you be willing to put yourself through the possibility of a heartbreak?

"I can see the wheels spinning behind your eyes. I know you too well, Y/N." He stopped your thoughts' route, "Don't do this, 'right?"

"Just tell me something: do you still feel something for me?"

"Of course I do, Tommy. But-"

"No, not buts y/n, please," he interrupted you mid-sentence, "I know that you have reservations, and rightly so. But please, trust me when I say that I'm not the one that I used to be. Things are going to be different, I swear to you." His promise paired with his earnest glaze was a lethal mix, one you couldn't resist.

Taking another look at him, you realized that he was right. He was going to therapy and he seemed to be doing alright already, you thought. There were two obvious possible endings for this: it could all to pieces again and at least you could always say that you'd tried or, if everything went well, you could be the happiest you've ever been. This last possibility was so appealing that it exceeded the other by a long way. You had your job cut out for you, really.

"Let's get out of here."

[dreaming-gamer]

DMC Week Day 7: College AU

For my final entry for DMC week, I chose to write the trio as college students playing Final Fantasy XIV – Nero, V & Nico.

A self-indulgent AU fic (haven’t played Final Fantasy XIV in years) based on a few college headcanons.

Thank you to everyone and all that’s read my works during this week! Your support means a lot ❤️❤️❤️ Here we go, hope you enjoy!

Nero as Warrior, tank

Nico as Machinist, damage dealer

V as Summoner, damage dealer

***

Nero nervously stared at his health-bar steadily going down as attack after attack scratched down his life despite all the buffs his character had on. The controller vibrated furiously in his hands, his jaw clenched. The boss would be dead at any second and the healer was trying their best but the bad connection they had so far had was making Nero nervous. Wasn’t a heal long overdue? Weren’t their character just standing still?

“If you perish, I got Resurrection ready.” V said, his voice ever so calm that it actually made Nero grin. Was he ever happy he’d gotten himself this new headset that let him regulate game and party sounds separately? Yeah, they were in a bad spot, but the boss was so close to dead now. They’d get through it.

“Nico!” He called the second the limit break chime could be heard in his headset.

“On it!” Nero could basically hear the buttons on her controller being slammed, together with her laughter. “Eat this!” Nico’s machinist character pulled out the crossbow, ready for the shot that would send the boss to oblivion.

“Dammit!” Nero shifted his character as an AoE marker appeared under his feet, along with certain death as his health was reaching less than 5000. Even if V revived him instantly, Nero as the tank dying now might just spell their doom.

The boss inched after him, leaving the indicated line of Nico’s limit break. Winds whipped around their characters, but they all managed to avoid more injury.

“Whoa, whatcha doing?!” Nico exclaimed in disbelief.

“Just aim again!” Thrill of Battle was back off cooldown, restoring some of his health. Sweet.

“It got used up, asshole! Healer dc’ed!” Nico’s voice snapped his focus back. Another buff off cooldown and he used it.

“What?!” Did that have to happen at this crucial moment? One quick glance at the party list said ??? for the healer’s status.

“Nero, your Holmgang should be ready for use. Just hold on.” V calmly stated and Nero blinked as he realized V was right. Had he been counting seconds since the last four minutes??

“Fuck!” The progress bar over the boss’ life told him a tankbuster was coming. Nero waited, his finger on the trigger for Holmgang, his sweet 6-seconds of almost invincibility to save him if needed. He pushed the button, the bright orange line above the boss filled the entire way, the hit connected, the controller in his hands vibrating valiantly. Hit points sailing down to zero. Swears bubbled up in his chest, flowed out of him like a sailor when the boss started to move towards Nico. But it had sooo little HP left!

“I pushed the button, I swear!” Nero shouted in disbelief, heart pounding in his chest, did they really have to redo this??

A sharp blast of white light engulfed the boss, sending it to the ground and the screen faded to black for a second before the victory cutscene played, with Nero’s own character magically on his feet. This was why he loved having V as a summoner on their team.

“Freaking finally! We did it!” Nico celebrated. Nero grinned, feeling as if a stone lifted off his shoulders.

“Let’s check gear!”

“No healer means one less to compete with!” Nico singsonged, letting her character put her grabby hands on the treasure chest. A healer chestpiece popped up on screen. Nero’s sigh was mimicked by Nico, none of them were a healer, not even close. At least there was a Strength ring for him to grab.

Nero blinked as the notifications told him V had grabbed the healer chestpiece. Unprompted, the summoner spoke.

“Perhaps I should go as a scholar, for our next dungeon. Our luck with healers tonight has been… less than fruitful.”

“Nah man, continue with summoner if you want, we’ll be--”

“Do it!” Nico stated on the top of her lungs, her microphone bumping into her chin as she grabbed for a cigarette. “I wanna see the end of the next dungeon tonight!”

“I can go paladin for extra heals.” Nero shrugged, even if neither of his companions could see it.

“And give up that sweet damage, really?” Nico teased, making Nero huff.

“I can play defensively every once in a while.”

“Uh huh…” Nico snickered, while all he heard from V was a chuckle.

“What, I can! Come on, let’s go to the next one!” Nero prompted and grabbed for his soda, eager to go again. Leaning his head back for a sip, there were just two drops meeting his tongue. Damn, when had his beverage run out?

“As… enjoyable as progressing further would be, I am fairly certain you both have lectures in the morning?” V said matter-of-factly while there was a weak rustling of a book page being turned coming from his microphone.

“Yeah, so? I can do it for a bit longer--” Nero started, checking his phone for time. It was waaay too late! “It’s already FIVE?!”

Dry coughing made it clear Nico had just swallowed smoke.

“Y-y-yer…” Cough. “kid-ding!”

“Hell no!” Nero exclaimed.

“Why didn’t ya say somethin’?!” Nico coughed at the sole calm person.

“I did try to, both at one and three o’clock. You both were a bit too… absorbed in what we were doing.” V calmly stated, making Nero groan, oh yeah, they might have been into everything. It wouldn’t be the first time…

“I gotta scram, I’ve got an exam tomor-- today!” With that, Nico’s character was logged out, her voice chat icon offline.

Nero sighed.

“Hope that works out for her. What about you V?” The sign out option showed up at the click of a menu and Nero clicked himself out, the calming music of the title screen trickling through his second-hand headset that smelled of energy drink. At most he’d be able to get what, two hours of sleep? Was it even worth it at this point?

“I will attempt to sleep. I do not have a lecture until the afternoon.”

“Lucky you, vampire.” Nero snorted, his dormmate’s chuckle meeting his ears. “Catch you at lunch then?”

“If I have awakened until then, yes.”

“Great.” Nero knew he should log off, get some sleep. But damn, he didn’t feel sleepy at all. He knew something would keep him up, if he went now.

“Hey V?” He tried, hoping the other hadn’t shut off his headset just yet.

“Yes Nero?” V didn’t sound bothered by the quiet inquiry, despite being about to head to sleep. Nero inhaled, through his nose.

“I told you my grade dropped a bit, right? From last exam?” During the day, he brushed it off, no problem. But at night, it was hard to not feel some… nervousness over what could happen, if his grades dropped too much. Nero needed to keep it up, if he wanted a new scholarship and he not only wanted that scholarship, he needed it so badly to stay.

“Yes.” A pause, followed by V softly closing a book. “Are you worried it might happen again?” He softly asked.

Nero scratched his nose, V even knew before he voiced the issue? He wasn’t sure if he felt relieved or called out.

“Yeah, something like that. I know our subjects are pretty different…” No shit, considering V was reading the classical poems and literary works of people whose names Nero barely could pronounce. But V had great study technique, always fixing his assignments on time, something that Nero had failed to do, several times. He admired that, about the dorm vampire with a love for classical music. V’s voice was always a joy to listen to as well. Maybe he didn’t say everything he was thinking, but his voice was deep, calming at this late hour.

“But, you up for studying together? Someday this week? I think I need someone to help me not procrastinate so much and Nico is not that…” If anything, she either sat with her notes and realized she had found out something brilliant for her own studying, or she was digging the rock music Nero always put on while studying, just as much as he was.

“I don’t mind.” V replied, making Nero grin with relief over having one guy in his corner. “We can start with hiding your headphones. Or your Bluetooth speaker.”

“Right…” Maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea, Led Zeppelin did snatch his focus otherwise. Nero let out a small laugh. “But you’ll give the headphones back, right? I need those for my morning runs.”

“Hmm, perhaps.” His dormmate teased.

“Or you’ll come along on my morning runs to keep me company?” Nero tried, he had given hints to get V to join him in the fresh air, the early morning sun for weeks now.

“Too chilly for me, I’m afraid.” Was the soft reply. “I will retire for now, Nero. Do try to get some sleep.”

“Yeah, fine… Thanks V.” Nero’s eyelids actually felt a bit heavier now.

“You’re welcome. Goodnight. Or perhaps, good morning.” V replied with a chuckle.

Nero groaned, giving a goodnight before ending the voice chat.

[ladybugsfanfics]

Shut Up And Kiss Me [14/?] | Tom Hiddleston

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

WC: 2.3k

Warnings: pining, angst, implications of sex,

Summary: You and Professor Hiddleston have been colleagues for many years now, and through those years the hatred for each other has only grown. Now, as a new school year starts, you’re being told that you have to share a classroom or a class. Neither are happy about the outcome, but knowing you’ll never come to an agreement, you let the class choose for you. Team-teaching is rare in 2019, but it is a lot harder to do when you can’t stand the person you’re doing it with.

A/N: so this is late, and i havent posted anything in like two weeks, but school’s crazy and im kinda tired but this is finally here and i’ve reached 1k followers. I don’t know if i’ll make something out of it but thank you to every one who is following me and i hope you enjoy this part ^_^

Little goes through Tom’s mind when he wakes. Surprise catches him at the feel of someone lying in his arms, and more surprise at the unfamiliar room he’s in. Tom looks down to see who’s cuddling into him, whose fanning breath spreads across his chest.

His breath gets punched out of him at the sight of Y/N. Her hair tangled, arm draped over his bare torso, and heavy breathing mixing with the hammering of his heart.

Oh, God. He didn’t…?

But Tom knows he did. He didn’t drink. The events of the previous night flashes through his mind. How she’d asked if he could drive her home, how she’d needed help to get inside, how he’d watched her fiddle with her keys before getting open the door. He remembers the way his chest beat so rapidly, waiting for that inevitable goodbye that was doomed to come.

Everything stopped working inside of him when she pulled him into her doorway, when she tugged at his tie and made the motion to look up. Adrenaline had coursed through his body when his lips met hers. The five years of pining and trying to get over the painful breaking of his heart had been swept to the side. When she’d deepened the kiss with her arms wrapped around his neck and a jump before her legs were wrapped around his waist and his hand had come to cup her ass and they’d moved to the bedroom, lips still locked together, had been the most intense moment he’d ever experienced.

The picture he saved in his mind of her naked body in bed pops up and Tom has to shake away the thought.

This isn’t happening. Y/N had been drunk. She is with Chris. It was a mistake, clearly. A drunken one.

And he’d made the mistake of indulging.

It takes him only a second to make up his mind. He does his best to peel himself away from her, gaze flickering to her every moment just to make sure she doesn’t wake up. Boxers on, trousers on, shirt wrongly buttoned, a quick grasp of socks and jacket, and he double checks his wallet and phone are still there, and knowing he has his belongings, he soundlessly slips out the door.

Only a week left before Christmas break. Only a week where things might be slightly awkward between the two of them. Only a week to figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do now.

This isn’t the way it was supposed to happen.

---

Awkwardness is the least of Tom’s worries, apparently.

When he makes it to the classroom before class on Tuesday (and mind you, he hasn’t seen Y/N since before they fell asleep Saturday evening), he’s met with the pleasurable yet very frightening bright smile Y/N sends him.

“Hey,” she says, eyes lighting up with a passion Tom hasn’t ever seen before. “We haven’t talked that much lately, but I thought we had some time now.” She hands him a paper. “I wanted to talk about the upcoming exam, and how to best prepare them to get the best possible grades.”

Tom takes the paper she hands, and sees a list of suggestions. The title reads Tips To Get The Best Exam Results. He nods slightly. “Sure, sounds good.” His voice sounds weird to his ears, lighter than normal. He coughs slightly, and tries again. “Did you have anything specific in mind that we should focus on?”

Nope, still no good.

But if Y/N noticed, she doesn’t say anything, the smile still brightly lighting up her face. “Just thought we could go off the list, really. Something I threw together on Sunday. Already had a rough draft, but you know, can’t stop working.” She tips her head a little, almost a shrug but not really one.

He’s tempted to ask her; if he did something wrong. Maybe he shouldn’t have left her apartment? Maybe they should talk about it?

Tom looks down to check his watch. Still fifteen minutes until any students are supposed to make an appearance. That’s more than enough time to talk about the incident, more than enough, only how does he start―

“Tom?” Y/N waves a hand in front of his face, her own searching for a response.

He shakes his head. “Sorry, what?”

“Just asked if there was anything you thought I’d missed. I want your input.”

There’s something so completely foreign to that sentence that Tom freezes. Even if they were making progress with how well they got along, he’d never actually thought she’d willingly ask for his input. Especially not after he left her apartment after a (great) round of sex and hasn’t actually talked to her since―as far as he knows, most people don’t like that.

However, he has to pull himself out of his head. So he shakes his head (no, he has not read the list) and just gives her a weak smile. “I’m sorry, I’m not really present today.”

“That’s okay,” she says, smile back on her face, though more sweet and less bright. Almost bordering on saccharine. “Can’t always be present, can we? I bet you had a pretty rough Sunday, too. Might not have had that good a Monday either?”

Tom raises a brow. “Rough Sunday? Were you very hungover?” Yes, he avoids the questions. He needs to know if there’s a possibility she doesn’t remember. Of course, that would only make matters worse because he would feel compelled to tell her.

Y/N scrunches her nose a little. “Not that much. I didn’t drink a lot, with the exceptions of the shots I took, but honestly, without them I’d never dared to kiss you either, so… kinda thankful.” And as she talks, her demeanor changes. Tom starts to wonder if she wasn’t being passive aggressive all this time with her sweet voice and big smile.

“You… uhm.” Tom’s words don’t work. Or maybe they don’t exist.

“Yeah, great night, actually. You know, other than you walking out on me, but I can’t blame you.” She shrugs. There’s nothing close to hurt in her voice, nothing close to anger either, really.

Tom has to swallow, because he feels like there’s something more she wants to say and he’s not sure the tug at his heart can take it if she does. Whether that’s a bold reveal that she does, in fact, not like him, in any way, or if it is that she likes him. But what if she likes him only sexually? Will he indulge?

“You know?” she says and takes a step closer to him. “We got about ten minutes. Or more, if we lock the door.” A finger comes up to drag down a little of the shirt he wears, exposing some of his chest. She doesn’t say the last words, but Tom can hear them.

His heart beats rapidly in his chest. Her fingers dance with flames as they graze across and trace their way to his chin. A firm hand takes hold of it, steadying his gaze into hers and he’s not sure he can say no when she licks her lips in that way.

God, his pants are tight.

When he lets her tug him down to ghost her lips over his, he knows he’s screwed. He’s breaking his own heart, breaking the pieces he thought were mending slowly but surely, breaking the trust he put into himself to be strong enough to resist the temptation.

But when Y/N’s lips graze past and connect with his neck, he can’t control the impulse that makes his hands fly to her hips to pull her flush against him. His hands graze the lining of her shirt, and he knows they don’t have time for teasing or foreplay or anything Tom really enjoys.

He doesn’t care. He gives in, succumbing to the desire that resides deep within him. If the only way Tom can be close to Y/N is by being a fuck buddy, he couldn’t care less. At least he gets to be with her.

---

By now, Tom would be home. He’d be with Bobby, cradling the dog into him to gain the cuddles he so desperately needed but didn’t get from the person he most wanted.

Yet, Tom isn’t home. He’s still at the office, slumped down in his too small couch with its too lumpy cushions and too hard armrests. It was the first thing he’d done when he got back after the Creative Writing class. Mostly because he needed time to think, but he can’t think because all that’s on it is how good those ten minutes before class started had been.

God knows he loves foreplay, but God knows they hadn’t needed it.

It’s not like that isn’t what he wanted to think about, it’s just that he can’t stop thinking about how it felt, instead of thinking about what this means for him. For them. For Y/N: His mind should be travelling through all the consequences of such a relationship. Or his mind shouldn’t only be focusing on the positive consequences.

He should focus on how this might rupture the steady going of an actual friendship (with the hopeful something more), but instead he can’t stop thinking about the feelings that rushed through him when Y/N’s lips had press to that spot on his neck. He can’t stop thinking about the throbbing in his abdomen, the swirl of hurt and guilt and arousal deep within his gut, the adrenaline that rushed through his body knowing she wanted him.

However, the one thought (that’s a mixture of positive and negative) he can’t let go, is that she avoided kissing him. She avoided pressing her lips to his, despite the obvious passion that had come from it on Saturday. She almost avoided his face entirely (the slight hint of a red mark on his neck―that one of their students had pointed out over the course of the class―isn’t necessarily unwanted).

But that feeling, that deep, deep longing that had accompanied the kiss on Saturday (no matter if it was prompted by alcohol), he missed that. He wanted it. He still wants it. He wants all of it. More than just friends with benefits, more than a casual relationship, more than… He isn’t even sure exactly what it is they do have.

Maybe they have something that can lead somewhere? Maybe they have something that won’t continue? Maybe they have something―  

Tom’s train of thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. He scrambles to sit upright on the couch (though he nearly falls off). And, with some sense of dignity still left, he says, “come in.”

The door opens agonizingly slowly. Tom has a silent wish of it being Y/N wanting something more, but he also has a huge wish it’s Benedict and that he can talk to his best friend about the problem that is eating away at him.

And thank God, his prayers are answered. Benedict fully steps into the room and gives Tom a quick once up. He raises a brow and smirks slightly. “And what did I walk in on?” he asks.

“Nothing.” Tom shakes his head. “No, there is something. You have time to talk or did you just come here for a favor?”

Benedict closes the door and sits down in the chair at his side of the desk. He turns it to face Tom and leans back, arms crossed over his chest. “I was coming in here for something else, but you look like you need to talk more. What’s going on?”

“It’s Y/N.”

“Of course it is. Did something happen Saturday?” Benedict raises a brow.

Tom nods, slowly. “We… uhh, I don’t know how to put this, but… we, uhmm…” He takes a deep breath, unsure of how to say the words, unsure of Benedict’s reaction. “We slept together.”

The man’s eyes go wide, and a frown comes through on his face. “Like in the same bed, or the… you know?”

“We had sex, and then fell asleep afterward. Why would we just sleep in the same bed?” Tom shakes his head at his best friends.

“I don’t know. Maybe there was something else.” He shrugs. “But that can’t be everything.”

Tom presses his lips together. He drapes a hand across his face, a sigh accompanying the gesture. “We did it again. I guess you could call it a ‘quicky’. In the classroom. Before our students came in.”

“Is that the reason for the red mark on your neck?”

“Yes.”

When Tom looks up to meet Benedict’s gaze, it feels almost like the older man is mocking him. The teasing, and halfway disappointed, look on Benedict's face is tantalizing.

“She or you initiate?”

“Her. Both times.”

“But the first she was drunk?”

Tom nods. “She had a mistletoe in her doorway. I guess it helped when I followed her up to her flat, seeing as she couldn’t really walk.”

Benedict chuckles. “Are you going to keep it up?”

A sigh falls from Tom’s lips. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“Is it worth it?”

Is it worth it? Is it worth the ache in his heart when she looks at him as if he holds everything she desires but not the part he wants her to desire? Is it worth the stab in his gut when her lips don’t connect with his? Is it worth the scorching heat that comes off of her fingers grazing his skin, of her hands studying his chest? Is it worth his heart leaping into his throat because she feels so close yet so far away? Is it worth it, if his heart will only break past redemption in an effort to be close to her even if it’s not in the way he wants?

“I don’t know.” Tom shakes his head. “What if it’s the only way? What if that’s my only option to be close to her? What if I lose everything if I stop it?”

Benedict smiles, but whatever is really on his mind, he doesn’t say. “Tom, be real. Is it worth it?”

He takes a deep breath, unsure of his answer. Unsure until his lips part and the words carry around the room.

“Yes.”

permanent tags:  @devilbat @adefectivedetective @gamillian @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic @heartislubbingdubbing @wiczer @chillcan @geeksareunique @fandom-imagines1

Tom tags:  @inlovewith3 @bookgirlunicorn @mindlesschicca @justawriterinprogress @wolfsmom1 @loser-alert @satanskatze @timetravelingsociopathicwalker

suakm tags:  @plooffairy @just-the-hiddles @jennytwoshoes @lokissidehoe @fruitfly123 @princetale @scorpionchild81 @noplacelikehome77 @winterisakiller @lostsoldieronahill @nonsensicalobsessions @cherrygeek86 @louhpstuff @olyamoriarty @sunshinein17 @kthemarsian @kumikowi @secretcupcakekitty @buckygrantbarnes @josis-teacup @runawaygiirl @januarycalendargirl @funny-fangirl @kinghiddlestonanddixon @scorpiomindfuck  @dr-kayleigh-dh @inmyworstlies @twhgirl @maah-chan @florencia93c @i-am-a-mes @o-deya @eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy @cantaloupewatch @carpediem-spero @createdbyanintensenerd @beananacake @lysawayne @nightrose64 @bradfordbantams @feyre-thehighlady @thundermaximoff @lys-syl @beenthroughalot @xrainydazeteax​ @mautand​ @coldbookworm​ @cursed-moonstone @justanobodyinthisbigworld​ @holyodepius​

[bigscaryyanderewriter]

Frosty Fear and the Fury of Flames (Dragonshifter! Shouto x Reader) Part 3

Part 2 ^

Hahaha, a part 3 for you??? It’s more likely than you’d think. This is actually kinda fun to write in parts, although it takes me a while. I have a few requests waiting to be answered still and that kinda bums me out still. Gonna be getting a lot more of Todoroki though. Haha… I like fire boys. Also, if you can’t tell. I really want to play dnd.

Tw: Yandere, Nightmares, Slight Gore

2.1k Words

“Bakugou, are you sure about this? I mean-” 

“Did I ask for your opinion, Shitty hair? Come on, get that damn wimp ready to go. We’re going to need to get out of here if we are going to get them away from that damn dragon.” The grimace on his face as deeper set than usual as you were forced to pack up with the others yet again.

They were going to abandon their mission, since there were other things they could do. That was what Bakugou told you at least, you had a feeling that none of the jobs in this tavern were worth half as much to the group as the one involving Shouto was. Still, you were grateful that they wanted you to stay and that you could be useful to them.

You couldn’t stop the sinking feeling though as you knew that getting farther away would be good, but also… They had to do something like give up the goal they had been working towards to assist you. 

The morning was still dark, no sun peaked on the horizon as the birds only just began singing their morning songs. The bags were packed and soon you were all ready to go by the time the sky began to lighten. You would be heading east and down the mountains a good ways until you got to the plains, travelling for about two weeks before stopping in another city called White Fields. Something was said about dangerous rock formations that would cause small landslides and magic folk you couldn't talk to. Not much rest would be allowed, wanting to get as far as possible from the mountains and desert. If luck was on their side, they would be out of reach by that point, since Shouto was still unable to travel that far from what you have learned. Something about territory disputes and bad blood.

That was the plan and you were praying to whatever would listen that it would work. 

"Are you ready, (Y/N)? We had better get going." Mina spoke from the doorway of the little room of the inn. Her face showed a bit of concerned and you realized you had been scratching a bit at your arm. You hurriedly covered the scratches and grabbed the sack with your more material belongings, the golden jewelry, things you had taken from the cave. Following her out to the boys, you all got moving as you walked out of town. 

The place where the sun rose was your destination. Going throughout the day. The further day the mountains, the darker the forests and the colder it was. It was a bit misty out with the morning still being new. The winter would hit quickly this year and you could tell. At least it would here. The cold air from last night seemed to be cradled here. Your arm hairs prickled as you all walked. 

It was as you pulled your arms closer to yourself that you heard Denki speaking, "Hey, you look… like you might want this." He pulled off the warm yellow cloak he had worn throughout the time you had seen him and offered to hand it to you.

"Oh- It's nothing. I'll be fine… The sun will warm me up soon enough. You know I'm not a princess though, so you probably shouldn't call me that." You said with a tiny fake smile. "I appreciate the offer though."

"Aw, maybe I shouldn't call you princess then. No princess holds a candle to you anyways! You have to be the product of some goddess of beauty." He laughed as you couldn't stop the heat rushing to your face, "Don't be so shy. I'm just teasing you. Though you do make a cute face when you're embarrassed. Still, you should take it. I'll be fine without it for a minute."

"Kaminari, I swear to all the gods that I will shove so many rocks into your mouth, if you don't stop flirting. You'll be shitting so many rocks that you could put it on a resume." Bakugo was throwing nonsense threats and this just resulted in some laughter as you had never heard a threat more ridiculous. It was like it was written by someone who didn't actually know how to properly threaten people or something. 

Ah yes. That is me. The narrator, who cannot narrate without getting sidetracked. Now, watching you and the group laugh… The tension of impending doom is nowhere to be found as you all walk the beginnings of the mountains' autumnal scenery. The yellow cloak draped on your shoulders as you continued and Denki at your side, chatting idly with you. His presence and the conversation taking the pressure of the situation away. It seemed he was an expert, being a bard. Something told you to be careful though. The stereotype with musicians and their unfaithfulness… 

There was more time to mull over the prospect later, but you also just found him so jolly. It was a real treat. Going through the day, nothing happened. It was painfully boring event-wise, tiring, but you made progress. You had begun to feel uneasy, despite Kaminari distracting. Something was lurking in the forests, in the trees. Everything seemed about as turned around for you as a spinning carnival mirror maze. 

Sero, Kiri, and Mina seemed to have had no problem as you were led by them. The group was much closer together now and the laughter began to cease. Night would come and the wish to leave these mountains was becoming louder within your head. It was eerie.

No one spoke much while the dark branches of nearly black barked pines hung above with their ruddy red leaves. The silver of the wood beneath was visibly upon some broken branches and on the stumps that you would sometimes pass on the thinning path. They looked unpleasantly rough to touch. Small barbs lining the branches and serving as more than a small warning to be careful around them. 

Soon the light would go, so Kiri found a spot around where some trees had fallen and sat up a fire for the night, while you picked up anything on the ground to make it less rocky. It was also handy for you to get more sticks for the fire. These trees burned infamously easy. A single mistake with a fire and it could go up in minutes, but it would burn for a long time. It was not usual for anyone to cut any down due to the inhabitants though and the consequences. You didn't know what they were and you weren't about to try to find out by harming the forest. 

Dinner was easy, still being able to have some good leftovers from the inn. You had to eat them all today, but it was still going to be fuel until the next time you went to eat fresh food, cooked by someone else at least.

Denki couldn't help lightening the mood as he pulled out his stringed instrument and started playing a lovely song… It was familiar, somehow. You struggled to think of what it was called, but you knew the words. It was peaceful and it definitely seemed to help Mina perk up again as she began talking with Sero. Bakugo seemed less irritable as he ate, the music must calm the beast. You couldn't help the smile that came on your face at that thought.

Singing along probably wouldn't keep him calm, but you oh so wanted to… It would be a little embarrassing, but others might join in.

So you did. It was time to have some fun.

You hummed along and started singing, 

"How much is love worth?

Yet, we're giving it for free.

Didn't cost a penny, but

I've gained everything.

I'd do anything to make her smile

My darling

My darling

Darling~

If only she would look out

Of that dreamy little world

She would then see

That while I am no prince

And will make her crazier than me

I would never quit to admit I'm wrong

I'd always get on her nerves,

She would hate the way I eat

And only then it's worse.

I'd complain about her mother

Even though she's quite alright

I won't stop til I see her blush

Red in the dead of night.

An immoral proposition

If not only for a tease

But I have some qualities

that put her mind at ease.

I love her more than the sea does a shore

As the sun does the horizon,

Unafraid to come back home

And get her blood arising 

Kiss her face and hold her hand

I'll never let her go.

I'm lucky that she loves it

Where I'd be without it, who would know

That she likes to feel the spite

That even though I mess around

I'm in her bed tonight 

Of my darling,

My darling

My darling

Darling

Not doing as the birds and bees 

But holding on her hand,

Kissing at her face

And saying things for show

Her pretty crimson blush

Cause when I see it, then I know

That the hand life dealt

Was a royal flush."

Denki sang with you as the others watch, some la's and humming as you got up with a spin. The swirl of your dress and body as you sang out each part with more confidence. Mina laughed when you would dance and Kirishima was keeping the beat.

After a while, the singing stopped and soon the group started to settle in. 

Bakugo took first watch with Kirishima, Sero and Denki. Then Mina and you. Only because of practicality. It was to be in three hour shifts. It was when you laid down on your bed roll and cover yourself with a blanket you had been given. The night would be cold, but the fire was big enough to warm you as you sleep. As soon as you eyes closed, you were out. A day of travelling made you more than ready to sleep. It was a wonderful thing to sleep with good dreams, but you seemed to lack any dreams lately.

Not tonight.

You woke up in an ashen forest. Smoke choked life as blue flames rose in the distance. It snowed. You could hardly distinguish the ash from the snow until it would either burn you or melt on your skin. Getting up was impossible, the burning branch crushed your legs.

The acrid smell of burnt hair and smoke. It stung your eyes as you tried to tears away while coughing. You just couldn't stop coughing. "Please! Please! Denki?! Mina!" 

You were crying and struggling. The wood was too heavy and you could see the blood on the snow. You were bleeding heavily. It hurt. It hurt.

"Somebody help me! Please! I don't want to die." You couldn't stop the tears as you thrashed about. Soon you stopped though. A growl sounding above you. Blue eyes and blackened scales, injuries beyond counting.

El diablo azul. The shivering continued as you looked up, nothing short of full blown trembling as he snorted hot air over you and knocked the branch away. Draconic was spoken to you as you scrambled back from him. It was deep and grumbling, not hissing or growling like the words spoken by Endeavor or Shouto. 

"I don't under- understand. Thank you though…" You couldn't look away from those blue eyes as they seemed to glint with amusement before the great black wings beat against the air. Smoke and snow getting caught up as he was off again and soaring over the burning forest. Lying in the snow though, you wouldn't be able to get up. Maybe he wanted to give you a chance to survive. So you pulled yourself up and began to walk through the blizzard, blood oozing from your thigh and ash caked on your skin. You weren't going to make that help mean nothing.

Though, you were confident. You looked up to see something far worse than the fire ahead. Red and white scales. Shouto was coming for you. 

Blinking your eyes open as you were shaken awake. Sweat coated your body while you panted, "Stop- Stop! Please."

It was as you jolted up, you saw Denki looking with fear at you. His hands had been shaking you awake and scrambled away. Out of breath as you looked around frantically. "Shshshh, You need to be quiet. You're attracting too much attention. You were screaming in your sleep. What in the world were you dreaming about…?"

"Nothing, it was nothing, Denki… Just a bad dream. I um, I'll take the rest of your shift if you want to go back to sleep. I don't think I can…" You murmurred. 

[anxiouslymalicious]

Beat You To It

Pairing: Ben Hardy x (fem) Reader

Summary: Periods are usually full of ups and downs, a bumpy ride, especially emotionally. This time, however, your emotions are all over the place as you just started taking the pill. But nothing could prepare you for the emotional roller coaster ride that ensues, especially as Ben comes home earlier from filming abroad.

Word Count: 2631 (oops?)

Warnings: none I think? Unless you count bad writing and talks about periods as one?

A/N: This is my first time writing something and actually publishing it. I hope you enjoy it!

It was a quiet Saturday night. You and Frankie were alone in the flat you and Ben moved into almost a year ago and although Frankie was a sweet pup, you still felt terribly lonely. The reason was simple.

Hormones. Birth control pills, to be exact.

The two of you had been talking about you going on birth control one quiet night when you were cuddled up on the sofa, a trashy tv show playing on the tv. You had been having troubles with your period for quite some time now and your doctor suggested using birth control to get it back on track. It wasn’t serious so you didn’t think about it too much. Ben then joked that he would be able to find out what sex without a condom feels like, but it might have been the light buzz of the wine you had opened during dinner. Neither of you mentioned it again, but the thought never left your mind. So, as soon as Ben told you when he would be leaving for filming, you made an appointment with your gyn and asked for a prescription of the pill, which you had promptly received.

Now, it was about 3 weeks later and you were on your first period while being on the pill and it was… Something.

Obviously, you and your doctor talked about the side effects of the pill and she told you about what to expect during the first three months, but you did not expect for the side effects to hit you nearly as hard as they did.

Besides light nausea shortly after taking the pill the first few days, you thought that the little hormone pills were treating you good. Until your first period arrived.

One advantage of taking birth control pills was that your cramps would be less intense and your periods in general would be easier on you. Or at least that’s what everyone told you. What they forgot to mention, though, was that the first period on the pill might not be that easy on you.

And so, you were drowning in self-pity.

Your period had started a day late, it was a Friday morning and you awoke with pain in your abdomen. Groaning, you turned around, trying to reach for Ben, but your hand only managed to find Frankie, curled up into a tiny ball of fur, laying on Ben’s side of the bed. A sigh escaped your lips as you remembered that he was still filming and only supposed to come back next week. No matter how often he left, your mind never ceased to forget that he wasn’t there when you woke up.

Tears welled up in your eyes. How badly you needed him at this moment to just hold you. Maybe make you breakfast in bed. And give you back rubs. And treat you like a queen. Just for today.

Nonetheless, you pushed through the day. Although your emotions were all over the place (you had yelled at three people, cried as you found out that you ran out of your favourite cereal, laughed your arse off at Frankie trying to catch her own tail and all of that even before leaving for work), the cramps were intense and your head felt as though a truck ran over it, you got through the whole work day. You couldn’t have been happier when you came home, greeted by Frankie’s happy barking and the warmth of your flat.

The rest of your day, you had spent on the couch in the living room, eating pizza, watching whatever was on tv whenever your pain killers didn’t knock you out and Ben even called sometime during the evening.

Ben always called you when he was gone. It was only on very rare occasions that he didn’t manage to call you and talk with you sometime during the day and even on those days, he recorded a voice message before passing out on his bed and making up for the missed call as soon as possible.

Your phone calls with Ben were almost therapeutic. Both of you managed to talk about anything that was bothering you. Whether it was your annoying colleagues, a scene that worried him, or just talking about the dreams you two had and trying to make up the funniest meanings. One time, you two managed to talk about how your dream about stargazing meant that you possessed the ability to live in space and were actually born as a product of a star dying, but you couldn’t go back because you needed the doctor to help you and so you needed to wait for him and his Tardis to appear.

This time, it was just him being overly excited about how well everything was going and how awesome everyone on set was. You really wanted to tell him how bad you felt, but that would also ruin the surprise of telling him that you guys wouldn’t need a condom the next time you two were in the heat of the moment.

And now, it was Saturday night. You had barely moved from your seat on the couch unless you really had to, like when you had to go on a walk with Frankie, go to the bathroom yourself or get open the door for the delivery person bringing yet another order of yours. Last night, you had seen a tv trailer for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and you couldn’t stop a few stray tears from falling as you stared into Dumbledore’s sickly pale face. You already knew back then that you would regret watching that movie. But you did it anyway.

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, not even if you tried, as you watched the heart-breaking scenes take place.

As you were so busy wailing like a baby, wrapped up in your favourite blanket with an empty cup of tea on the coffee table and empty take out boxes and chocolate wrappers splayed out all over the coffee table, you did not notice Frankie jumping up with curiosity at something she heard.

You also didn’t hear the jingling of the keys in the lock of your flat.

Or the sound of a bag dropping in the living room.

Not even the sound of an incredibly deep laughter managed to pull you out of your trance.

You flinched as you felt a hand on your shoulder, the sudden touch scaring you, and a shrill scream escaped your lips. In a moment of fear, your body involuntarily tried to move to the other end of the couch, your abdomen cramping up at the unexpected movement. You whimpered softly at the pain, wrapping your arms around yourself in an effort to ease the pain at least a bit.

“Hey, princess, it’s me, calm down.”, Ben almost laughed at your reaction. Until he noticed your dishevelled appearance.

Your hair was all over the place, your eyes bloodshot from the little amount of sleep you caught the previous night and the many crying sessions you had over the past 48 hours. Your cheeks were puffy and flushed and tear streaks stained your skin. Chocolate was smeared in the corner of your lips.

You were wearing one of Ben’s old sweatshirts which he should have gotten rid off ages ago, but you always saved it from its doom in the trash by saying that it was far too comfortable to throw it away.

Pants had long been abandoned, or at least Ben assumed so as he saw one of your bare legs sticking out from under the blanket that he knew you only pulled out if you were in need of comfort.

“Y/N, what happened? Are you okay?”, Ben was now worried. He had never seen you like this before. He was now kneeling on the floor in front of the couch, grasping your hands. This only caused more tears to fall. You had officially ruined the surprise. Ben wasn’t supposed to be home yet. He was scheduled to come next week, when your period was over and you were feeling great.

But there he was, seated in front of you, his green eyes staring right into your own (y/e/c) orbs, trying to put together the pieces, but failing.

Frankie had now joined you, laying her head comfortingly in your lap, almost like she was trying to encourage you to tell him what was going on. And you tried.

But all you managed to get out was a weird brabbled speech.

“He-he- Dumbledore, he died and I cried, but you weren’t supposed to find out until Thursday, when you came back and you were not supposed to be here yet. But now he died and you’re here but you shouldn’t be. And Frankie was supposed to help and- and I didn’t want to watch it, but it just kind of happened because I cannot resist Harry Potter and you know that.”, you didn’t make sense. Not to Ben, not to yourself.

“Y/N, are you drunk, love?” Ben was now trying not to burst out laughing, gently placing his hands on your cheeks and wiping the fresh tears away from your cheeks.

“No, I’m not, I haven’t had a sip of alcohol in months! Oh wait, that’s a lie. I’m lying to you and myself. It was just last week. I’m not an alcoholic, though, I swear.”, you sobbed, defending yourself.

“Then what’s going on, love?” soft giggles emerged from Ben’s lips as he watched you. He really didn’t want to, but watching you was more than just hilarious.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes for a moment. A new wave of tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him.

“I started taking birth control pills, but didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you. And now I’m on my period and you’re home early and ruined the surprise. I had it all planned out! Wanted to cook for you, wear something sexy, seduce you and tell you that you wouldn’t need a condom, but now you’re here and caught me crying over a movie I have seen a few hundred times already.” You were watching Ben’s face closely, awaiting some kind of negative reaction.

“Oh, love, really? You put yourself through all this stress for me?”, Ben was amazed. You nodded silently, afraid that if you opened your mouth, you would only keep on sobbing.

Ben now moved onto the couch, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms tightly around you.

“I love you, Y/N. I really do. Thank you so much.”, whispered Ben as he ran his hand through your hair, trying to calm you. Nothing but love and adoration were in his voice, and the moment would have been perfect, if it wasn’t for Frankie suddenly barking. Neither of you had noticed that you were almost crushing the little dog in between your bodies as you hugged and were now feeling unbelievably sorry.

“Tell you what, love. I’ll clean up a bit while you move to the bedroom and then we’ll cuddle and I’ll rub your belly. How does that sound?”, asked Ben, softly kissing your temple as he wiped away the last stray tears on your cheeks.

“Sounds perfect. Marry me please?”, you asked, only half joking. Ben chuckled as he got up and placed a kiss onto your lips, then wiped at the corner to wipe away the chocolate that was still smeared there. A light giggle left your lips as you watched your beloved boyfriend disappear in the hallway, probably to grab a bin or something to get rid off the trash. You followed him shortly after, your blanket wrapped around you, walking on shaky legs into the bedroom and dropping your tired body on the bed.

Just as you were about to doze off, you heard the sound of Frankie’s paws hitting the floor before she tried to jump onto the bed. A soft smile grew on your lips as you moved to look at her, gently petting her.

“Thank you so much for sneaking into my flat a few years back, you little rascal. Without you I may have never met your hooman and we wouldn’t be right here right now. My life wouldn’t be the same without you two.”, you whispered lovingly to her.

“Our lives wouldn’t be the same without you either, Y/N.”, mumbled Ben from the doorway of the room. He had a glass of water in one hand, a heating pad in the other. He gave you a soft smile, that one special smile that only you got to see. It was so soft, barely noticeable at times, yet so full of love and adoration. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more whenever he smiled that special smile.

He set the glass on the nightstand, then opened his fist to drop a pain killer next to it. “Just in case you need one. Don’t feel like getting up again.”, Ben explained in a mumble. You nodded.

He then changed into his pyjamas before he lay next to you, moving as close as possible. Grabbing the heating pad, he turned it on and gently placed it on your tummy as you lay with your head on his chest. His heartbeat was calming to you. You knew that he was alright and safe, right there next to you.

“Hey, love?” Ben’s voice was soft.

“Yes, love?”, you asked in reply, looking up at him. You hadn’t felt this content in a while, not since Ben left for filming, and you didn’t want for that moment to end. Ben was grinning at you now, like he knew something that you didn’t.

“I never answered your question.”

“What question?” You were confused.

“The one about marrying you.”

“Oh.” Your heart skipped a beat in fear. Was that too much? Could you blame it on the hormones?

Ben’s hand was in a fist, only using two fingers to lift your hand lightly as his other hand was running through your hair.

“Guess you kind of beat me to the question. But I beat you to the ring.”, he whispered, looking at you intently as his hand opened and laid the ring in your hand. You looked at him like you couldn’t believe what was happening. By all means, you couldn’t.

“Well, what do you say, love?”, you asked as yet another wave of tears welled up in your eyes.

“I say ‘let’s put a ring on it’.”, he grinned, carefully slipping the simple gold band onto your ring finger. Neither of you could stop yourself from smiling as you moved to press a lingering kiss to his lips, your fingers finding his cheek and gently tracing it.

“I love you with all my heart, Ben.”, you whispered as you parted from the kiss.

“I love you with all my soul, Y/N.”, he whispered back.

“Today was such an emotional roller coaster ride. Let’s go to sleep and celebrate tomorrow.”, you whispered, pressing another kiss to his cheek. With a sigh, you got up to go to the bathroom one last time before going to bed.

Needless to say, that your phone was blowing up with messages from Joe when you came back.

‘Y/N Y/L/N, how DARE you steal MY MAN?!’

‘Cardy B and I are very disappointed.’

‘And you didn’t even ask for our blessing!’

“Sorry, princess. I couldn’t help myself and just had to tell someone.”, Ben grinned at you like a four-year-old who had just stolen some sweets. You playfully rolled your eyes at him, moved to lie down on the bed and plugged in your phone before typing one single message to Joe.

‘Guess I beat you to it.’

 A/N2: This was based on my actual experience as I was put on the pill for troubles with my period, except I am as single as I could possibly be and was sending my friends some of the things you can read here as hilarious voice messages. They had the time of their lives, I think?

[day--six]

From Luck // Pt. 5

Pt. 1 // Pt. 2 // Pt. 3 // Pt. 4 // Pt. 5 Word Count: 2.7k Genre: Hogwarts au, fluff Member: Jae Summary: The Triwizard Tournament really only seems to be making your life harder, but in the best way possible.

                                ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You head straight to the kitchen after dinner. Thank god Wonpil had shown you where the kitchen was during your first semester. The amount of times you missed dinner and needed something to eat or just found yourself wandering there after a long day were too many to count. It also turned out to be a fantastic place to talk about things in secret. The house elves kept to themselves and really didn’t care what the students talked about, too busy with their own tasks to pay attention. You waited a good ten minutes before Jae finally showed up. You can barely sit still you’re so excited to tell him what you had found out.

        “What did you need to tell me?” Jae questions as he slips onto the bench across from you.

        “Have you heard of escape rooms before?” You ask, still fidgeting in your seat.

        “Uh, yah I think so. Didn’t Wonpil do one last summer?”

        “Yah! He did!” you exclaim, pleased that he remembered.

        “Why? Do you want to do one?” Jae asks, raising and eyebrow.

        “I mean, yah it would be fun but that’s beside the point! I was dropping something off in McGonagall’s office this morning and I overheard people talking. Your first task Jae! It’s going to be an escape room!” You exclaim. Jae shoots up from his chair, causing the bench to scrap across the stone floor. A few house elves turn to look at the two of you, but eventually go back to their work.

        “What!” Jae exclaims, “You found out! Oh my gosh you’re amazing!” Jae says are he rushed over to you, pulling you up from where you sat and into a tight hug. You laugh into his chest, partly from his excitement, partly out of pure joy from the hug.

        “It just so happened that I was there, I didn’t really do anything.” You say, looking up at him.

        “But still! You found out! Oh man I was so stressed about this. Thank Merlin you heard them talking!” Jae laughs, picking you up slightly off the ground and spinning you around. You let out a gasp as he spins you around. After he sets you down there’s a moment of silence. Jae finally realized his actions and a deep blush was starting to set in.  

        “So, since it’s the Triwizard Tournament, I bet it’s going to be an escape room with magical elements to it right?” you ask, trying to ignore the heat rushing to your cheeks as well.

        “I assume so… did you hear them say anything else?” Jae questions. You think for a moment, trying to remember the conversation you had overheard.

        “They said something about having parts on both the ground and in the air. You should be fine though, you’re amazing at quidditch! You can outfly anyone!” you point out. Jae runs his fingers through his hair.

        “I should try and find out if there has ever been an escape room in the wizarding world and see what it was like.” Jae mutters to himself.

        “I’ll help you look! We can get the others to help as well.” You mention.

        “I have a little less than three weeks left so we really need to get working!” Jae declares, “But for now, I have to get back to my dorm. I have a shit ton of work I need to do that I keep putting off. You’d think being one of the champions would make professors stopping giving me as much work but nope!” Jae says. You laugh and follow him out the kitchen after grabbing on of the left-over pastries from dinner.

        “I would offer to help, but I don’t know any of that stuff yet.” You chuckled.

        “Don’t worry about it, you’ve been more help than I could ever ask for.” Jae said, beaming at you. You give Jae one last smile before the two of you split up and head back to your respective common rooms. You made it back and plopped down onto one of red sofas in front of a roaring fireplace. You let out a long sigh as you sunk further into the cushions. What a wild day this had been.

        By the time everyone had gathered together again the word had already been spread between everyone about the next task and had even done some research. Wonpil and Sungjin had done a fair bit of research on escape rooms in the muggle world, you and Dowoon had focused on finding information about escape rooms or anything similar within the wizarding world and Jae and Brian had focused on learning or strengthening various spells so Jae would be well prepared for the day of the tournament.

        “I still can’t believe you found out!” Wonpil exclaimed as he munched on some jelly slugs he had gotten from Honeydukes the last time they had gone to Hogsmeade.

        “Thank merlin they did.” Jae said, sending the most warming and heart fluttering smile in your direction. You laughed weakly and said it was nothing.

        “I wish we could find more information on it though. Even after figuring out what the challenge is, there still isn’t much we can do to help prepare for it…” you sighed.

        “Simply knowing what the challenge is, is more than enough to make the task easier to deal with.” Jae stated.

        “We’ve got a little more time to prepare, I’m sure once the task starts to get closer you’ll feel a little more confident. At least we know some of it is going to be in the air, which most likely means on a broom. And if there’s one thing you’re good at Jae, it’s flying.” Sungjin stated.

        “Worse comes to worst I can just whip out some impressive moves on my broom.” Jae says and everyone laughs.

        “I’m sure it won’t get to that point.” You laughed. The six of you finally calmed down and began retelling the information they had dug up and a couple possible ways Jae could prepare for the upcoming event. You and Wonpil eventually determined that even if this was some challenge a muggle got it wouldn’t even be something they could really prepare for. So basically, all that Jae could do was prefect the spells he knew and learn a couple new ones. Thank god Brian was so good at spells.

        Days slowly rolled into weeks and before you knew it, the first task was right around the corner. You could see Jae was starting to get nervous, and you could see the others were getting just as nervous as you. Honestly, there’s no telling what to expect in a muggle escape room, what on earth was a wizard escape room going to be like? And how could there be a flying portion too it? It was questions like these that were constantly keeping you up at night. The day before the ask they were so consuming your thoughts you fully gave up on the concept of sleep and found yourself wandering down into the common room to do a bit of homework. Might as well get some work done if you’re going to be up the whole night. Naturally this didn’t last long, as you began to get hungry (and honestly just didn’t feel like spending three in the morning writing about different potions and their effects). You decided to give up on the homework and make the risky adventure down to the kitchen. If you could scrounge up a few pastries and maybe make yourself a warm cup of hot chocolate, maybe just maybe you would finally be able to fall asleep.

        You somehow managed to make it all the way to the kitchen without even getting close to running into anyone. You only got scolded a few times from portraits as you passed saying that the light you had cast was to bright. When you slipped through the door you were shocked to find Jae already sitting at one of the long tables, his big round glasses sliding down his nose and his hair messy like he had been tossing and turning on it for a while before heading to the kitchen. He was wearing his baggy grey sweatpants and a big Slytherin colored sweatshirt which made you realized no one else has a house sweatshirt. If it hadn’t been for the Slytherin crest on the sweatshirt you would have been positive it was a piece of muggle clothing. You reminded yourself to ask him where he got it later.

        “What are you doing here?” you questioned softly as you walked up towards him. Despite your best efforts to not scare him as you walked up, he still jumped and whipped his head around to look at you.

        “Merlin’s beard you scared me (y/n).” he exclaimed, then took a breath in to calm down before continuing. “I just couldn’t sleep, so I decided to go for a late-night walk and ended up here.” You began to say something but Jae cut you off before you could get anything out. “And before you say anything, yes I know I should be getting sleep because tomorrow is a big and important day, but frankly at this point I’m way to stressed out to even think about sleeping.”

        “Okay, well, I was going to make myself a cup of hot chocolate, how about I make us both a cup and we can talk; whether that’s about the tournament or just something to take your mind off of it.” You stated. Jae gave you a small smile.

        “That sounds good to me.”

        Almost all the house elves had called it a night so it was just you and Jae in the huge kitchen. Halfway through making your hot chocolate a house elf passed through, gave you a quick glance but said nothing. While you were heating up the drinks, you managed to find a few pastries to munch on while the two of you talked. You carefully carried everything over to the long table and passed the warm mug to jae before taking a seat next to him.

        “So, what should we talk about?” you asked before taking a sip of your drink. Jae thought for a second.

        “How are your classes going.” He asked.

        “Pretty good, Potions is actually destroying me, but other than that I’d say things are going pretty well.” You answered. Jae laughed.

        “Yah, buckle up because Potions will only get harder with each year.” He snorted, making you let out a loud groan.

        “I’m doomed.” You cried.

        “Hey, no worries, I’m pretty good at potions. Plus, I’ve already learned everything. I’ll help you out.” Jae said, puffing out his chest after declaring he was good with the subject.

        “You better mean it because I’m going to be coming to you with all my questions now.” You said.

        “Hey, the more I see you the better.” Jae said before truly thinking about the words that were coming out of his mouth. Que immediate panic and cursing himself right after uttering the words, blaming it all on the fact it was so late at night and the stress had finally had its way with him. He awkwardly picked up his spoon and started stirring his hot chocolate in an attempt to take his mind off the dumbest mistake he’s made all year. You, on the other hand, was on the verge of exploding. Had Jae just flirted with you? Were you just imagining it, perhaps the lack of sleep finally catching up to you? What should you say back? So many thoughts were running through your head, you hadn’t even realized how long the silence was.

        “Well, since this is your last year you better get used to seeing me. I’m going to try and take up as much of your time as possible.” You finally found yourself answering. Where that came from, you had no idea, but you were just going to roll with it. Jae was shocked you had responded, and even flirted right back at him. After such a long pause, he thought for sure that he had creeped you out or something. Maybe he should spend more time up super late at night, everything seemed to be working out well for him.

        You had shown up by his side in the kitchen right when he needed you. He was unbelievably stressed and nervous about the first task tomorrow and was slowly spiraling into a deep hole of despair, but then you showed up and pulled him out in a matter of seconds. God was he falling hard for you, but what on earth was he going to do about it? There were so many things to think about. First of all, even if you had flirted back that didn’t necessarily mean you liked him back. After all you were always hanging out with Sungjin, Jae had been almost positive something was going on there that the others didn’t know about. Also, what would his prideful, pureblood Slytherin family say if he started dating a muggleborn Gryffindor? To him, stuff like that meant absolutely nothing to him, and while his family wasn’t as crazy about that type of thing like some of his other Slytherin friends, the disappointment would be clear to almost anyone. Jae shook his head a little. Why on earth was he worrying about this now when he literally had a task tomorrow. As if you had read his mind you finally spoke up and broke the silence.

        “As much as I love being here with you, you should probably head to bed soon. Can you imagine if Hogwart’s champion gets out there and then passes out from exhaustion? That would not go over well.” You laughed, trying to keep things as lighthearted as possible.

        “Yah, I guess you’re right.” Jae grumbled, taking a big gulp of the last of his hot chocolate. You quickly finish your drink as well, grabbed one more pastry for the road, put your dishes in the nearest sink then headed out of the kitchen behind Jae.

        The two of you walked down the quiet, dark halls side by side, your shoulders brushing against each other every now and then. Neither of you made any attempt to move, but instead found yourselves leaning in to each other a bit more, finding comfort in the physical reminder of each other’s presence. You eventually came up to the point where you had to split up to head to your respective common rooms, so you stopped and turned to Jae, who was already looking at you. Everything about that moment was perfect. The whole castle was still, and it felt as if you were the only two to exist. You couldn’t help yourself anymore. You took a step forward and wrapped your arms around Jae, burying your face into his big Slytherin sweatshirt. You felt jae tense up against you for a split second before melting into your embrace, wrapping his long arms around you. Jae’s scent took over all your senses, and his arms pulling you closer made your skin tingle from its presence. The two of you stayed that way for a long time.

        “Make sure you get to sleep as soon as you get back.” You murmur into his chest. Jae simply hummed in response.

“Don’t worry too much about tomorrow, okay? I know everything will work out perfectly. You don’t have to take it seriously, just go out and have fun.” You spoke, earning another hum from Jae.

“Just please be careful…” you said, pulling him in tighter for a few more seconds before finally leaning back to get a look at his face, still keeping your arms wrapped around him.

“I’ll be there before you have to go for sure. We all will, okay?” you said, searching his eyes to get some sort of read on him. Jae cracked a small smile as he brushed some of your hair out of your face.

“I’ll sleep easy tonight knowing I get to see my number one supporter first thing in the morning.” He said, laughing quietly. You smiled up at him before finally letting go all the way. As soon as you did you were met with a cold and lonely emptiness that made you immediately regret letting go.

“I’ll see you in the morning (y/n).”

“Good night Jae.”

Next part coming soon...

please like/reblog if you read!

[h-styles-babes]

47 and 71!!! :) thanks babe!

Thank you so much for the request, babes! This one was actually quite a bit of fun to write, since I’ve not done much angsty stuff (that’s published on here, at least. There may be something in the works). I hope you like it! As always, my inbox is always open for requests, either from prompt lists or just a scenario you want to see! xx

47. “When I picture myself happy…it’s with you.” & 71. “You are the single best thing that’s ever happened to me

Harry had been acting a bit off the last several days. Y/N had brushed it off at first, figuring it was just nerves for his fast-approaching tour. She’d seen him get like this before, back when he was touring with the band. Sure, he’d had the other lads to rely on and help dissolve some of that nervousness, but it still happened, regardless. She knew this was bound to be worse, though, considering it was just him now. He’d have his bandmates, and him, Sarah, Clare, Mitch and Adam had forged quite a bond, but she knew it was still nerve-wracking starting his first ever solo tour for his first ever solo album. 

But that nervousness was known to only last a day or two at the most. Harry seemed jumpy and on the verge of sweats for days now. Y/N was slightly concerned that he was coming down with something so soon before he took off to travel the world again, but he seemed fine otherwise. No coughing or sniffling or sneezing—anymore than normal, anyway. His eyes were clear and his breathing didn’t sound wheezy like it normally did when he got sick. He was just extremely out of it, and it was concerning. 

Y/N was going to be able to join Harry for his first few tour dates, since she was able to get the time off work, but she was wondering if maybe Harry didn’t want here there. They’d been dating for the better part of three years now, and he’d never not been completely ecstatic to have her at the concerts, but maybe that was changing. He had been acting strangely distant as well as his weird anxiousness, and Y/N had the sinking feeling that it had to do with her. Did he want her around for his new journey? Did he want her around at all? It had been three years, after all. Maybe he had finally grown bored of her, even though he’d sworn up and down as long as they’d been together that that would never happen. She couldn’t help but feel like maybe this was the end, though. Maybe he wanted to break things off with her and he just wasn’t quite sure how to do it. Perhaps that was why he was so tense whenever she was around, now?

Whatever the reason, it drug Y/N down, and she started to pull into herself when she was home with him. They’d moved in together when Harry had made the permanent move back to London about six months before. She thought that meant things were going well. Hell, everything was going well. Or so she thought. She dreaded the thought of having to move out and find her own place again. She loved living with Harry. After so long of maintaining a relationship where he was gone most of the time and they only got to really see each other in person a handful of times in the same amount of months, she liked coming home after work and knowing Harry was not far behind. They slept in bed together every night, unless he popped out of the country for a quick trip. Even with the release of his movie and album, he hadn’t been gone for more than a week at a time. She knew in the time leading up to the beginning of his tour, he’d be in America for a longer time, and she’d wanted to spend as much time as possible with him before he left, but it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen anymore. 

Y/N had held her tears in as best as she could. Whenever she’d see Harry and noticed how out of it he’d been, she’d done her best to keep her emotions locked inside and not say anything about it. She didn’t want to stress him out more than he already was. She’d kept herself as solid as a fortress for nearly a week by the time she’d finally felt it all cracking. 

She hadn’t seen Harry since the evening previous. They’d had dinner together quickly, neither of them saying much of anything, since Harry was busy doing something on his phone. Before he’d even finished his food, he’d told her he had to go meet Jeff, Harry, and the band somewhere and wasn’t sure when he’d be home. Y/N had agreed with a small nod and a wish of good luck for whatever it was they were trying to accomplish. Harry had taken care of his dishes and pressed a quick kiss to the top of her head before departing, not saying another word.

She had expected he’d be back at some point in the night, so when she woke up alone in their bed, his side of the covers not even turned down, a brick settled in her stomach, that awful feeling that indicated impending doom. She sighed and got herself up to get ready for her day. She had to be in to work in an hour and a half, and she’d already showered the night before, so she just went about doing her hair, getting her makeup on, brushing her teeth, and getting dressed. She half-arsed her way through preparing herself a lunch for the day, and trudged out to their garage to start up her car. She drove to work without the radio on, sitting in silence the whole twenty minute drive. The only bright spot to her morning was the large mug of coffee that was waiting for her at her desk when she arrived, one of her coworkers flashing her a smile and a greeting. It was all she could do to smile back without looking like she was grimacing.

Work had been fine, but it hadn’t had an effect on her overall mood. She slumped home at the end of the day without any word from Harry. She wasn’t sure if he’d be home when she got there, or if he’d be at home at all today. So, when she pulled into the garage and his car was still absent, she just sighed, fighting off a sob, and made her way inside. 

The house was just the way she left it, meaning Harry hadn’t even stepped foot in the house today. His side of the bed was still made, and Y/N grumbled as she kicked off her shoes and shimmied out of her work clothes. She had no motivation to do anything else today, so she hopped straight into the shower, merely standing under the stream of it for a few minutes, staring despondently at the tiled walls.

It all washed over her, then. Every feeling of inadequacy that had reared its ugly head over the last week. Every sense that Harry was no longer in this relationship with her. Every instance of stilted conversation and lack of any sort of interaction. It sat on Y/N’s shoulders and broke her. She leaned her shoulder against the wall as she let herself sob, her body shaking with the sound and her eyes blurring with the onslaught of tears. She gasped and spluttered out the water that was still pouring down on her. She couldn’t be fucked if it drowned her at that point. It would hurt less than the ripping feeling of her heart, thinking that the man she had dedicated the last three years of her life to no longer loved her back.

That’s how Harry found her when he got back from wherever the bloody hell he had been for the last nearly twenty-four hours. He’d pulled into the garage, happy to see that Y/N as home already and made his way as quickly as he could into the house, expecting to see her in the kitchen making a cuppa, like she usually did when she first got home from work. When she hadn’t been there, he’d immediately gone upstairs to their bedroom, thinking maybe she was just getting changed out of her work clothes. However, he heard that the shower was on in the attached bathroom when he got there, seeing her clothes from the day left in a pile on their floor. 

He’d smiled and planned to go in there and take a shower with her, having missed being intimate with her. He figured a nice time together in the shower and then maybe a call for some food, a movie, and a few glasses of wine was what they should do with their night. He was leaving for America in a few days to do some events he hand lined up and his last minute rehearsals for the beginning of tour, and he wanted to spend some time with his girl before they were split up for about a week. He’d see her at his first couple of shows when they started, but that wasn’t for about another two weeks. 

So, Harry stripped out of his clothes and grabbed a towel that was hanging on his side of the closet, the one he’d used the afternoon before when he showered. He wrapped it around his waist and trudged into the bathroom, initially excited to see Y/N already under the steaming stream of water coming down from the shower head, her hair slicked back and droplets of water clinging to her skin. His heart dropped into his stomach, though, when he heard her heart wrenching sobs, her shoulders shaking and sounding like she was half-choking on the water that was hitting her face. Harry’s chest got tight, his body instantly in distress at hearing his other half sounding so completely heartbroken over something he didn’t even know about. 

He tugged the towel of his waist and made it into the shower stall as quickly as he could. “Y’N, darling, what’s the matter?” he asked, cooing softly at her. “Has somethin’ happened?”

Y/N’s sobs immediately halted as she heard his voice, not having heard him come in before. Her chest was still fighting to release the sounds, her lungs battling for breath that she was holding in order to quell them. She kept her body faced away from him, refusing to turn around and look at his concerned face. She knew it would break her even more, because Harry always looked so devastated and like he actually cared when he got that little furrow between his brows and that pouty, open-mouthed expression.

Y/N cleared her throat and reached for the shampoo that stood on the ledge in front of her. “‘m fine,” she brushed off. She struggled to pop open that cap of the bottle, the damn thing getting stuck every time she tried to pry it open. She cursed at it under her breath before Harry reached around her to grab the bottle out of her hands. She wanted to shout at him as he put it back on the shelf under the shower head.

“Sweetheart, you’re not fine. I heard yeh sobbing in here just a moment ago. ’ve never heard yeh cry like that. What’s wrong? Talk to me,” he pleaded. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder and across her chest, pulling her back against his chest. He went to dip his head into the crook of her neck, wanting to lend her comfort by pressing soft kisses to her skin, but she stopped him, shrugging him off. She wanted nothing to do with his touch right now. She couldn’t stand his faux concern and fake comfort. 

“Stop it, Harry,” she huffed. “Go, I want to shower in peace.”

Harry heard the tremble in her voice, her body still wanting to cry even though she was doing her best to hold it back. He was confused as to why she was brushing him away. She was normally so cuddly and needy when she was upset over something. This wasn’t like her at all, and it concerned Harry even more. 

“Y/N…” he pleaded, reaching out for her again, a hand wrapped gently around her bicep so he could turn her to face him. He didn’t like not being able to look into her eyes. He couldn’t see the real reason for her hurt if she wouldn’t look at him.

“What, Harry?” she shouted, finally turning to face him. Harry took a step back at the fury he could see in her gaze, but underneath that, he saw the desperation and hurt that was the real root of her problem. Harry tried to search his memory for something that had happened to her recently that would be causing her such distress, but he came up blank.

“Tell me what’s wrong, love,” he whispered, taking a few steps closer to her. “I can’t help yeh if yeh don’t tell me what’s the matter.”

“Maybe I don’t want yeh to help me, Harry,” she protested, pushing at his chest to get him to back up again. “Haven’t cared a whole lot recently, anyway, so why start caring now?”

Harry’s confusion mounted. “What are yeh on about? I always care. I love you, darling. Why wouldn’t I care?”

“You’ve been completely absent, Harry!” she protested, backing up now since he wasn’t budging. “For a week now, it’s like I’ve been living with a ghost. At first I just thought it was pre-tour jitters, but it’s gone on too long for that. Yeh hardly talk to me. When yeh do, it’s terse and like yeh don’t wanna be there. Yeh slip into bed hours after I’ve gone to sleep, and when I wake up, you’re already out of bed. Yeh disappeared last night before we even proper finished dinner and you’re only now gettin’ back. Tell me how that doesn’t sound like you’ve been somewhere else, H.” Something dawned on her in that moment, and her face crumpled from her mounting rage to something so sad and devastated that Harry could feel tears welling up in his own eyes. “Are yeh seeing someone else?”

Harry was so shocked by her question that it took him a few moments to get himself out of his stupor, and it only caused Y/N to get more worked up.

“Oh, God, yeh are, aren’t yeh? You’ve met someone else.”

She sounded so torn apart, like she was on a precipice and she wasn’t quite sure if there was anyway to step back from it. She pressed herself completely against the wall opposite of Harry, wanting as far away from him as possible. She’d leave, but he was in the way of the exit. 

Harry jumped into action, realizing his lack of response was making her draw up awful, as far from the truth as possible conclusions. He reached out and pulled her into his arms, keeping them locked around her even when she started to fight against him. She was protesting quite adamantly, but Harry raised his voice to be heard above her. 

“Christ, baby, I’m not seein’ anyone else,” he urged, pressing kisses to the top of her head. The were pressed together in the shower, naked and wet, and in any other circumstance, he’d be turned on beyond belief, but there was nothing sexy or arousing in that moment. His girlfriend was falling apart because he’d been absent lately, trying to keep something from her, and she thought it was an affair that he was keeping. She couldn’t be more wrong if she tried, but Harry realized that, to here, that’s what his behavior from the last week added up to, and he couldn’t really blame her. He could admit that, from her perspective, his actions were shady and pretty much exactly what would happen if your significant other was cheating on you. But that most definitely was not what was happening. 

“Could never do that to yeh, yeh know that. I’d sooner give up music than cheat on anyone, much less you. You are the single best thing that’s ever happened to me. Why the fuck would a ruin that?” He hoped his assurances were working, because they came out a bit choked from his own rush of tears. Even the thought of thinking of cheating on his perfect girl broke his heart and made him want to kick his own ass. He would never, and she had to know that. 

“Then where the fuck have yeh been, Harry?” she demanded. She pushed away from his chest, only getting far enough to look at him with an angry face, though he could still see the hurt underneath. He’d done a number on her, even though he had never meant to. “If yeh don’t want to be with me anymore, just tell me.”

“Baby, please, stop,” he begged her, hating hearing the conclusions she was drawing in her mind. He knew there was really only one way to solve this, and even though it completely ruined the plans he’d been crafting for the last week with his band and his manager, it was his only option. He’d rather have ruined plans than lose his girlfriend. “Come with me, yeah? I’ve got something to show yeh.”

Half sentences of protest spilled from her lips as Harry reached to turn the water off, leaving them both soaking wet with no cleanliness to show for it. He didn’t even bother wrapping them in towels as he dragged her by the wrist into their bedroom. He sat her on his side of the bed. “Sit, please. And stop fighting me so hard, love.”

She huffed, but sat as he asked, crossing her arms over her chest to show her annoyance at this situation. She was still incredibly upset, but now she was also annoyed at him for dragging her out of the shower and leaving her to get the bed sheets wet instead of just answering her question. 

Harry opened his bedside drawer and quickly pushed aside his stacks of pants, grabbing onto the little box he’d been hiding amongst them for the last couple of weeks. He opened it and set it on her lap, letting her see the diamond ring with the platinum band that he’d bought for her. Y/N’s mouth dropped open as she stared down at the small object that rested on her thigh. Her arms dropped from her closed off stance and she grabbed the box in one hand.

“Harry…” she breathed out, flicking her eyes up to his. New tears fill her eyes, but these were from embarrassment at being such a brat before this. And maybe from the implications the ring had. She did love him, after all, more than just about anything else in the world, and she’d be lying if she said she’d never envisioned the day she got to marry him.

“That’s the reason I’ve been sneaking around lately,” he explained, leaning his hip into the furniture he’d just torn apart to get to the ring. “I’ve been making some arrangements and plans with the band and Jeff. Was planning to propose the first night yeh came out to the show. Was gonna do it after I got off stage. And I’m sorry yeh felt like I haven’t been here, but yeh know how I am about surprises. Can’t keep my bloody mouth shut. Guess that translated into me being a wanker for a whole week.”

“Oh my God, Harry,” she sobbed. Tears were running down her face again. “Yeh were gonna propose, and I ruined it like a proper bitch. I’m so sorry.”

Harry dropped down onto both knees before her, grabbing her face in his hands. “Hey, hey,” he urged, wiping at her tears with his thumbs. “No, yeh weren’t a bitch. I totally understand how yeh could be upset. Thinking back on it, my actions have been pretty shifty.” Y/N chuckled through her tears, and Harry smiled at the fact that she was feeling better. “Yeh haven’t ruined it, either. I’ve just got to change my plans.”

“Here, take it back,” she said, closing the top and trying to hand it back to him. “I’ll pretend to be really surprised when yeh do it proper.”

Harry chuckled and refused to take the box. “I’m not gonna make yeh wait, now,” he protested. “Just propose now.”

“Harry, we’re both sitting naked, soaking wet in our bedroom. Yeh sure yeh don’t wanna wait?”

“This is all very us, isn’t it?” he asked, lips quirked up into a smirk. “Not exactly, conventional, are we?”

“No, I suppose not,” she agreed with a giggle.

“It’ll make a good story when people ask, too.”

“Please don’t tell them I accused yeh of cheating on me before yeh proposed.”

“We’ll edit that part out,” he assured. “Now, will yeh let me actually do it?” “Sorry,” she said, passing him back the box.

Harry smiled and shifted to one knee as he opened the box back up. He swallowed, suddenly nervous, even though she already knew what was coming. He felt like there was some way that he could still fuck this up, and he really didn’t want to. 

He took a deep breath before steadying his eyes on hers. “Y/N, I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on yeh. Seeing yeh for the first time was like feeling at home. I felt so settled and I knew, even though I really didn’t know, that yeh were it for me. When I picture myself happy…it’s with you. When I picture myself in forty years, it’s with yeh by my side, no matter what it is I’m doing. You’re everything I’ve ever needed in another person, and I am so lucky that I found yeh so early in my life. I would have waited my whole life for yeh, darling, but I got yeh after barely living two decades on this earth. And I can never thank yeh properly for how much you’ve supported me and been by my side over the last three years. Yeh mean everything to me, sweetheart. So, would yeh do me the greatest honor of marrying me and making me your husband?”

Harry waited anxiously for her answer, even though she didn’t wait for more than half a second before giving it.

The widest smile he’d ever seen from her broke across her face. She reached out with one hand to cup his cheek, and he nuzzled himself into it. “As if I would ever say no to yeh, yeh silly man.”

Harry beamed at her and turned his head to press a kiss to the center of her palm. “I love you so much, darling.” He plucked the ring from it’s little slot and grabbed her other hand, slipping it onto her fourth finger. “May have ruined my plans, but I wouldn’t change this for the world.”

[percywinchester27]

Stroke of luck (Part-4)

Word count: 3200-ish

Pairing: Dean X Reader

Warnings: None. Fluff mostly.

Series Summary: Dark highway, middle of the night, a bad boy driving an Impala, and a Damsel in distress. Too cliche? Think again.

A/N: I still like where this story is going, hope y’all too :) Beta’d by the amazing @sdavid09. I would be so doomed without Shanna, y’all have no idea. Feedback is REALLY appreciated <3

This is also for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing‘s hiatus writing challenge, week three. The prompt was- “Could you be any louder?”

Catch up:  Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

It would have been the slowest day of your life had it not been for the pit in your stomach that accompanied a nagging sensation that something was wrong. All you wanted to do was shut the shop and run back, but there was a wedding order for the evening, and thanks to that, there were a shit ton of flowers in the back yard. Jessie, your assistant, had mysteriously disappeared on you, too.

You paced up and down along the length of the shop, the fragrance of the flowers doing nothing to calm you down today. In a moment of retrospect you couldn't help but wonder what your dad would have said if he had lived to see the daughter he raised as a hunter, work a vanilla job like a florist. Maybe he wouldn't have minded, maybe he would have. You could never really be sure with him. You'd never really known what went on in his head.

But all the pacing and thinking wasn't helping the pit. You knew something was seriously amiss. It had happened to you before. Your gut instinct never failed you.

The clanking of the bell, as the door opened, pulled you back from your worrying. You automatically adjusted your features into a pleasant and detached smile you saved for your customers. Today, it faltered. Thankfully, you were in luck because this particular customer was a regular.

"Hello, Mrs. Henley," you greeted her.

"Hello, Darling," she smiled back genially.

"The usual?" You asked, immediately setting to work when she nodded. Her order had been the same everyday for the last 6 years- a dozen yellow daisies, cut to the same length with no embellishments whatsoever. You wondered what she needed them for.

"How's Violet doing?" She asked conversationally. "I swear that girl just devours all those books. Not a day goes by when I don't see her going past the house and into the library, always with a new book in hand. She'll just wave and say 'what's up Mrs. Henley?' Not a day goes by, Y/N, not a day. My morning doesn't start without seeing her."

"I'm glad she makes you happy, Mrs. Henley," you smiled back while wrapping her flowers.

"One bright ray of sunshine that one, I tell you. You did a great job with that kid," she told you.

"I did the best I knew. And I didn't really know much."

"It's what motherhood does to you. It makes you grow up too soon. I bet her father would regret runnin' away from you now, if he ever knew what a gem stone his daughter is," she gave you an exaggerated pat on the back.

"Yeah, if only he ever knew." You met her eyes as you tied a knot around the flowers. Mrs. Henley was a nice old lady, and you knew she meant well, but it hurt you to not say something in Dean's defense. She was a customer though, and you had long resorted to letting the rumors about you flourish. The more outrageous they became, the less people asked you about them.

"There you go," you handed her the flowers.

"Thank you, Darlin'," she drawled pleasantly. "I like both of you girls. I know how much you love your lil' one… I'm actually surprised to see you here. I thought you'd be with Violet."

"Vi's in school. Why would I be with her?" You asked, the pit in your stomach making its presence known again.

"Why, did you not hear?" She leaned in animatedly, but her voice was sad. "The Fletcher's kid was found dead at the school today. They let all kids go home early, that's how I know. Didn't she call you?"

"No, she didn't. That is terrible news. What happened?"

"Don't really know yet, Hun."

"I'm gonna head home," you muttered, grabbing your bag and heading out of the counter, Jessie would have to manage the delivery. "Thank you, Mrs. Henley, for letting me know."

As you drove, you tried to calm yourself down from the irrational anxiety. If something had been wrong with Vi, she would’ve definitely called you from school. So she must be alright. But then why hadn't she called when she had reached home? Maybe because she knew about the wedding order, and didn’t want to worry you. That would be your kid… Worry, worry and worry for you. That must be it, you placated yourself.

You jumped out of the car the moment it screeched to an halt in your driveway.

"Vi?" you called out. No reply. "Violet?" There was some scuffling from upstairs.

"Sam?" you tried again, knowing how much your daughter loved it when you called her that.

"Y-Yeah," your girl answered. Her voice sounded hoarse.

You pushed the door to her room and found her huddled in her bed, wrapped in a thick blanket. She wasn't crying, but her eyes were red and cheeks were blotchy.

"Hey," you whispered softly, climbing into the bed next to her, and pulling her in your arms. "What happened, kiddo?"

"Aaron," she sighed heavily.

"Wanna talk about it?" 

"Not really." She turned her head and buried it in your lap.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie," you said, running your fingers through her soft blonde hair soothingly. "I didn't know you were such good friends with him."

"I wasn't," she muttered. "But he died right in front of me, and then the police kept me locked up like I was the one who killed him or something. They didn't believe a word I said either."

"Wait a second, back up here!" you pulled her up, making her face you. She looked weary. "You saw it all?"

"I don't wanna talk." 

"Nope! You can't drop that bomb and not talk. How dare those dicks not believe you? And you said they kept you locked up? At the PD? I'm gonna go down there and kick some ass."

She shook her head. "Not in the PD, at the school itself. In the detention room."

They were so gonna have it from you. You hated the police. You’d had fair share of trouble with them in your hunting days. They were ignorant jerks for most parts, but detaining a kid was below their already rock-bottom low standards. "You have to tell me what happened there Vi." You squared your shoulders.

She dropped hers, resigned. 

Vi told you what had happened. The purple light, the cloaked figure and the hex bag. You were proud of how composed she sounded. She knew exactly what had happened, and deduced the most accurate conclusion- witches. Obviously, the police hadn't believed her.

"They made me pee in a cup," she said, face pinched.

"Dicks," you shook your head. It probably wasn't the right way of raising your kid, but you weren't the sort of person who behaved differently on the streets than in front of your child. Having a sixteen year old kid hear you swearing was more acceptable in your books than have them see that their parents live in double standards.

Right now, colorful language was least of your concern. There had been three mysterious deaths in the past couple weeks, and both the police as well as the people were being extremely shady about it. Something didn't quite add up. If Aaron's death was anything to go by, the town had a coven at their hands. This was not good, for SO many reasons.

"How did you get out? They wouldn't have let you go without a parent."

She giggled unexpectedly, then rolled over as the giggling gave way to a fit of laughter while you stared at her in confusion. It took her a few minutes to sober up enough to be able to talk.

"There was this FBI agent, he broke me out of there."

"What? FBI?" This was just getting worse and worse with every passing second.

"Yeah," she giggled again. "He was super fun. You should have seen the way he talked the officer out of it. It was hilarious, and-"

"What did you tell him?" you interrupted.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, what did he ask you about the murder?"

"Everything, and you know what? He believed in me mom!" Her eyes lit up. "He actually agreed with me."

Shit! Hunter.

"Did he ask you how you knew about all of this?" Please say no, please say no.

"Um, I might have said that we are superstitious," she looked guilty. "Did I say something I shouldn't have?"

You sighed. She had been through one hell of trauma, and she was only a kid. She didn't even know hunters existed.

"No, you didn't, babe. Did he enquire more about us?"

"Nope," she brightened a little. "Don't worry mom, he was nice, and I told you he would be. He was the same man-"

"Okay, kiddo, listen," you cut her chatter, getting ready to leave. "I'm heading to the morgue to check the dead bodies. If this is really a witch killing, we need to help these people, and find the witch." 

What you didn't tell her was that you needed to help the two of you, as well. The last thing you wanted was to run into someone from that circle again. It would totally uproot your life if you got yourself or your daughter mixed up with that crowd again.

"What will you do if you do find the witch?"

"Kill her." The words simply slipped past you, and for a moment you were scared of meeting you daughter's eyes. You can't just randomly confess to wanting to kill things like that.

However, when you finally looked up, there was a glint of anger in her eyes. "Good," she nodded, and for a moment, she looked exactly like her father. "But you can't just waltz into the morgue like that."

"Remember Ethan?" 

"The date from hell?"

"Yep that one." You cringed on the insides even thinking about it. "He works at the morgue. Maybe I can ask for favors."

It was Vi's turn to cringed visibly now. "Eww!"

Yeah Eww..

"Hey mom?" she called as you started to leave. "Be careful, okay? And kick it in the ass."

"Of course, honey," you winked, as you closed the door behind you. Your daughter was one tough cookie. You couldn't have been prouder.

Dean’s POV:

Dean couldn't fucking keep the smile off of his face as he strolled around the campus aimlessly. Sam will find him after he was done with whatever he was doing. For the life of him, Dean couldn't remember the last time he’d had so much fun. It felt like being back in his twenties. He did wild stuff like this all the time. He had lost count of the times he and Sam had done something stupid, ended up in prison, or in a clash with the authorities, and had busted out.

Even before that, when he was a teenager, it happened sometimes. Lesser then, but it happened nevertheless. He would sneak. Those were the best memories of his life.

"Pssstttttt…" Dean hissed. No reply. 

"Pssssttttttt…" he tried again. If he got any louder, he was going to wake up everybody in the goddamned motel. He so didn’t wanna see Y/N's dad's face at 2 in the night.

The window opened slowly, creaking a little. Dean thought he was dead, until Y/N's sleepy face appeared.

"Dee?" she asked groggily. "Is that you?"

"Um yeah…" Suddenly he felt extremely stupid. What was he even doing here?

"Come closer, I can't hear you," she whispered.

Awkwardly Dean walked over to the window. "Hey can you come out for a bit?"

"There's a salt line at the door that dad made. It'll definitely get all screwed if I open a door. I can't make one like him. He'll know… and I think the door creaks…" she mused sleepily.

Dean wanted to kick himself. What was he thinking turning up like that at the motel she was staying in? There was no reason why she'd want to meet him at 2 in the night. But he had to, especially today.

"…C'mon?" Y/N hissed a little louder.

"What?" Dean asked, paying attention to her again. He was just making a bigger fool of himself every passing minute.

"I said give me your hand, dumbass!" 

"Why?"

"I'm coming out through the window. There's a basement or something below. The window is higher that I can jump. So, give me your hand!"

"You wanna come down?"

"Are you always this stupid? Or is today a special occasion? Of course, I'm coming down." She rolled her eyes and Dean grinned.

Well, it was a special occasion. He extended his hand so she could catch hold of it. He just couldn't keep the damn grin off of his face.

"Thank god you're at least pretty!" she teased him, as she lowered her hand to meet his. Her eyes were shining with the laughter she couldn't hold, and Dean could swear they were the most beautiful pair he had ever seen.

She used the other hand to brace herself against the sill, as she hoisted one leg over the ledge. Her skin somehow shone in the bright moonlight trickling through the trees, and her soft hair fluttered as the wind swooshed against the open window. Dean couldn't help but notice that she was dressed only in a pair of shorts and a flowy tank top.

Soon she was sitting awkwardly on the sill, one hand resting against the frame and other holding Dean's.

"Now what?" she asked, trying to judge the distance. The window was over six feet high from the ground.

"Jump!" Dean offered.

"Are you kidding? I'll break something."

"No, you won't. Just jump! I'll catch you!" 

"Shhh…" She hushed him. "Could you be any louder? Alright, I'm coming."

"On the count of three, then," Dean encouraged. "Okay… One…Tw-" She jumped, falling straight into Dean's arms, her soft chest pressed against his, as her hands clutched his shoulders in an effort to find a grip. Dean staggered a little but held on to her all the same.

"Hey? What happened to waiting till three?"

"I knew you'd catch me either way," she smiled. It was hard to be sure given the darkness surrounding them, but Dean thought he could see the tell tale signs of a shy smile.

He set her down on her feet, but did not let her go. If anything, he pulled her a little closer. "Happy birthday, Y/N/N."

He saw her eyes go blank for a fraction of second before a wide, surprised grin slowly stretched across her lips. "Holy shit! You remembered!" She was looking awed, and her eyes, her beautiful eyes were shining… glistening.

"Of course, I did! How could I not?"

"Well, I forgot about it myself."

"I did not." He let go of her then, reluctantly, still keeping a firm hold on her hand. "Sammy wanted to come, too, but one of us had to stay back just in case dad returned early. He'd freak the fuck out if he found an empty motel room." Dean was secretly glad that Sam couldn't make it. It was a weird happiness, and seeing Y/N smile, he was starting to realise why.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked, too coyly for him to fall for it.

"If you're expecting me to say 'of course not, honey' and kiss you, I'll do it, Y/N." Dean winked. 

"You're an idiot!" she giggled, slapping his chest, and tugging at his arm to lead him towards the back. "Let's get out of here. You're breaking me out, right?

"Yep!"

"Where are we going?" She couldn't keep the excitement out of her voice.

"To that lake you've always wanted to visit." Dean directed her towards the Impala he'd somehow managed to keep for the week. "I have a blanket and a couple burgers in there."

"This is the best birthday present ever." She was outright laughing now. Such a beautiful sound. It made Dean giddy with happiness.

Once they were both around the edge of the motel, Dean pulled her back. "I didn't forget, Y/N," he said, pushing a small flower into her warm hand, relishing the softness of her palm. Then he did something he had only imagined before. Y/N hadn't exactly said a no earlier, so he leaned forward, his heart pounding against his chest, and lightly brushed his lips against her cheek. She froze for a second, before her cheeks raised into an adorable smile, Y/N leaned into him. Emboldened by her reaction, Dean kissed her once more. This time on the corner of her mouth. "Happy birthday, Y/N," he whispered. "A very happy seventeenth."

"Dean?" Sam's voice pulled him back. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you."

"I was… I was caught up with something."

"Did you talk to the witness?" 

"Yeah," Dean grinned. "I knew that kid. I found her stranded in the middle of the night yesterday. And guess what? I busted her out of there." He jerked a thumb towards the detention room.

"You did what?" Sam's eyes widened. "Dean, you're not supposed to interfere. Let the police handle it."

"She's a kid, Sam! They were keeping her in there for actually telling the truth. In fact, she knew it was a witch," Dean said proudly. "And guess what? Her name's Sam, too. Pretty smart for someone named Sam, eh?" He chuckled.

"Sam you say? Her name was Sam, and she knew about witches?" Sam's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, said her mother was superstitious or something. One hell of a brave kid."

"If it's really a witch, I'm gonna go check out the morgue. They must have the hex bag found with the body." Sam mused. "I called ahead suspecting that, but instead of tomorrow, I'll just go over now."

"Alright," Dean agreed, flinging the keys of the Impala to his brother. "You go on. Meet me back at the motel we saw on our way in. I'll grab us some grub." He was still smiling as he headed past the parking lot.

Sam, however, didn't know what to make of the situation. As he climbed into the driver's seat, he couldn't help but mull over what his brother had told him. Dean said that the witnesses' name was Sam, and she knew enough to know a witch had killed the boy. But Sam had talked to the officers and seen through the files. The witnesses' name there was labeled 'Violet Y/L/N.' Sam couldn't get rid of the queasy feeling in his stomach as he drove off towards the morgue. Something didn't quite add up here… Or, rather, it all added up too well.

If you want to add yourself to the taglist for the series, there’s a link to my taglists in the bio of the blog. Can be accessed only via a computer! ;)

Stroke of luck taglist:

@sdavid09 @grace-for-sale @kas-not-cas @bellastellaluna @thing-you-do-with-that-thing  @benjerry707 @tiny-friggin-human @kaylynnw428 @anarchyrenegade @clairese1980 @quixoticcat @sea040561 @chumi-la-chula @girliciousdreams @sofiadiaz04 @soul-of-verity @redeyedvixen @earthtokace @that-never-happened @deanwinchesters-67impala @deevvoon @wackiekebab @brihughes4 @ilsawasanacrobat @deansgrenadelauncher @ohgodwhybloggg @i-just-wanna-live-gc @gabavaldman @betterlatethennever@torn-and-frayed @lavieenlex @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @bringmesomepie56 @akshi8278 @thedevilinthedetails @raventonks19 @sonofabitch-spn @mayasmedberg @escabell @kathaswings @mogaruke @brihughes4 @docharleythegeekqueen @impandagrl @luna-plena-venandi @jotink78 @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @deanssweetheart23 @adaliamalfoy @melonberri @maui137 @winchesterprincessbride @prairiebirdie @dustycelt @its-my-perky-nipples @laurenisnot @iamnotsaneatall @aiaranradnay @escabell @feelmyroarrrr @scrumptiouswinnie @thevioletthourr @mrswhozeewhatsis @yoursmilemakesmeloveyou @sandlee44 @thebitterbookeater @applepienjackdaniels @anokhi07 @plainoldblogs @silver-and-green @meeshw777 @liveyourlifemeraki @redunicorn10

[geek-gem]

9:28 am so waited a bit but was looking on my dashboard. Even missed the submit button a bit whatever some Infinite gif I almost reblogged.

Again I had got out of the shower and I was thinking about this.

Honestly me enraged about the custom character the concept of it in Sonic Forces. Basically Buddy The Wolf that's been seen in official trailers also lots of people draw him.

Including I tried my best didn't get the green mic actually and finished the game without that. Yet I tried my best to make the character look like that. Because I had such a distaste for the idea of it. Including I didn't wanna be original and despite random shit in my head still being negative about the custom character.

Honestly and I might spoil stuff of Sonic Generations maybe. Really the role Buddy is put into is basically what I've wanted for an idea in a Sonic game.

Including the idea of someone new trying to stand up for what's right and Sonic being the big reason why anyone would keep going. Because of how his attitude and his outlook on life inspires people.

So those are possibly spoilers yet was gonna talk about this. Almost start it twice this paragraph and a new one what I wanted to type.

Honestly I always had this idea. Mainly instead of a custom character that's an animal like the others. It's basically a human a young adult mainly. Where the role is basically similar or kind of or is in Buddy's role.

I've been thinking that human part because it's possible that Sonic movie might have a main human character but I like it to be secondary to Sonic. Including the idea of this human being a badass able to use weapons and destroy Eggman's robots. Including I keep thinking examples of humans to be inspired from right now like Chris Redfield and Leon S Kennedy from the Resident Evil series. Also others yet those two have been on my mind because I like Resident Evil and it's been on my mind too.

Also it's because some humans have a track record of not being liked by a lot of fans. But I mainly speaking about Chris Thorndyke and Princess Elise while I honestly don't hate them. Including this year I learned they aren't that bad honestly like them a bit. But they aren't my favorites.

I thought the idea of a human who can take care of themselves and fight alongside Sonic would help people stop thinking humans suck in Sonic except Eggman or whatever.

Yet I have thought of the idea back firing because I can imagine people's reactions. I've been thinking of this for a long time and forgot if I wanted to talk about it.

Basically I can see people giving their honest thoughts and figure out why making a human character a badass doesn't work to appeal to people.

Talking about having a human character being given a gun and kick ass with Sonic doesn't automatically make them a better character. Making them a soldier or someone who can fight isn't gonna make them better then the likes of Princess Elise or Chris Thorndyke no hatred towards them. The character could ether suck or even be worse then them. I'm saying this if this actually happens. About a character could be worse if you of your own opinion didn't like previous characters.

What matters is the writing behind the characters. Their personality, their story, and what they mean towards to the main story too.

Honestly at times I keep thinking like a first person shooter or third person shooter gameplay. Maybe similar to the likes of Titanfall, Killzone, the Left 4 Dead series or the likes of the Resident Evil franchise mainly 4, 5, and 6, Dead Space or others. Basically been thinking Titanfall and Resident Evil. Or even Doom or yes Halo for that matter. Yes I mentioned Doom because been playing the original like yesterday and need to play the reboot again which is awesome since the game is now fully installed.

Yet with how Sega and Sonic Team are going. Despite Shadow The Hedgehog was made his game. It would be difficult probably to make gameplay like that. Because they don't seem to be at a stage now where they will do that.

Including in a weird way to be honest thinking of it I'll say it. The idea of it seems almost like self insert some what yet at times I didn't think that mainly just to fill the human thing. But I have put certain things like an Autistic character because I'm Autistic too for the character.

Just trying to remember anything. But also yeah I wanted to talk about this. Even thinking of the song Fist Bump while not my favorite. Yet when in the shower I kept hearing it in my head.

Honestly the way the song is written. It's kind of meaningful since listening to it, the song seems to be about Sonic and the custom character Buddy including how this song has a upbeat style to it. Basically in a way being inspiring unlike compared to Infinite's theme which I adore despite what the Shadow DLC showed and the main game too. Being a lot more serious and maybe less inspiring.

Honestly wanna mention this silly thing so a self insert played by KJ Apa at times one of the choices. Basically wanna make a post and jokes about Archie Andrews fights with Sonic the hedgehog, joins the Helghast from Killzone, fights the Chimera from Resistance, be casted as Jeremy Fitzgerald from FNAF and ward off animatronics, and be cast as Leon S Kennedy his younger self from Resident Evil 2 for that Resident Evil movie reboot universe if they stick to the games more. Yes that's a fan cast of mine.

Yes I watch and like Riverdale also it's this joke with I keep thinking Jughead going ARCHIE WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING BEHIND OUR BACKS

Honestly I like the actor and thought of him other things didn't say all of them.

So now with Sonic Forces out and my opinions being mixed. Including honestly I have thought of this when I was in the shower and afterwards. Basically the custom character is something I......seemed to like the best or just.....maybe more.

My friend fatpinkraccoon not gonna use the mention thing told me last night and replied to a message from him I didn't message because went to bed early by mistake. He told me Somecallmejohnny made a review and I thought seriously that was quick. Yet the game is honestly short. Including him talking about how the franchise needs new people behind it.

Yet I forgot if it was him respelt quick and put back the period in last paragraph. But sorry ticks yet I forgot if it was him I'm not risking getting out of this. But he might of said the custom character was the better parts of the game. Even with my mindset being negative.

But after being disappointed with other parts of the game. While gameplay is fun and enjoyable, the soundtrack is great and I've talked about more about this. It's the story I have a problem with. Including remembered that he told me not to have false hopes basically after I told him I'm not gonna hyped for a Sonic game after this.

Including him saying that even if Sonic Mania had fantastic reviews doesn't mean Sonic Forces would get any and he said he knew.

Also I wanna say this is basically my character development now. Me realizing the custom character is basically a form of something I wanted but not as a custom character. Yet the role of Buddy goes through things I like basically the concept of it said nice in head. While a lot of other things said everything in head but no not everything and random negative thoughts.

Basically the custom character seems to be the golden child of some sorts being in the mess of things. With some good stuff and bad stuff or just mixed stuff.

Even in my head I had thought of I never want the custom character again. Or the fact it might return honestly no it didn't suck.........

Was thinking I'm going to say that after my head said it sucked.

Really I am a hypocrite. While I have played other games where characters can be customized. Honestly theirs more whether story or not. Fine such as some Lego games, the Soul Calibur series I've seen people mentioned in a post about w certian c word I hate.

Yet the one game where I remember the custom character always goes to my head. Is basically the customization from Halo Reach where you play as Noble Six. Yet instead of a canon look or one that's seen in the trailers you get to customize the Spartan. Even also almost left work instead of look when talking about canon looks.

Basically you get to customize Noble Six. Even just looked forward for some reason. Basically the ending I don't wanna spoil it is a sad one almost left the word dad.

Okay in a way Halo Reach with that is something similar to Sonic Forces. Where your character is in cutscenes, in gameplay, and even people making versions of Red Vs Blue characters. The last season I've seen was season pressed some Google icon yet season 11 the series is funny but haven't seen it since despite it still going on.

It's amazing how my younger self seemed to not mind and liked customizing a Spartan yet Sonic it's the worst thing ever. Basically I had a hate on for the character being disgusted by it and just....I feel it be weird to compare it to a racist but okay back shook a bit.

Yet honestly the gameplay was enjoyable. But mainly played with the burst weapon just the drill isn't my favorite see just....I'm rambling.

The idea of the custom character returning oh negative thoughts. I just don't know may be nice just......

Sorry basically after wards nice or....I said that in my head.

Basically the custom character Buddy had a role I thought would like in any Sonic media and I hated it because I had false hopes like my friend said. Now that's what I remembered.

Think I should be done basically despite my head at times. I'm just so used to hating on the custom character it stuck with me maybe HOPEFULLY over time I be less hateful on it.

I kept retyping l and y for hopefully. Yet I'm so used to hating on the character and I want to like it more as time goes on. Maybe playing the game more. Yet the thought of making my own character no.

Yet I did with Buddy and....since thought in my head of changing it I've been thinking. Yeah I'm honestly attached to the Buddy The Wolf look we've been given that I don't want to change the character I hated the thought of changing it that one thought I don't want to lose Buddy.

Now okay theirs character development of me. Along with I should mention while I complained and critized of Buddy not talking and just.....I'm a fan of Doomguy and he's probably or one the original imagine yourself as the character those kinds of characters. Including how his actions speak louder then words. Also even other some what silent protagonists. Including I was talking about the main character from Doom.

Got tags done just don't take took off Sonic Forces spoilers and put it at the end almost took off the one before that. These mentions are getting stupid.

Seriously the game has been an emotional rollercoaster and my supposedly character development warming up to the custom character is coming into more of a reality even with my mindset 10:28 am just sorry have issues

[angelicrome]

soft apologies│a.i

for mine and @calumsbicth‘s valentine blurb night

credit to the original owner of the gif

Requested: yes

Pairing: Ashton x Reader

Warning: smut (oh shit), swearing.

Description: When Ashton forgets about Valentine’s Date he has with Y/N, thoughts and emotions immediately start running through her mind. 

The clinging sound of your heels filled the kitchen as you prepared the last things for the night. Candles, home-made meal, flowers, everything was perfect. You always hated Valentine’s because you never had anyone to celebrate it with. Your last couple of relationships would always end right before the 14th, so it was not even weird that you were looking that much forward to the night. It all seemed like a movie. You had bought new lingerie, made him food like you were some kind of mum - even though you had to call Calum to get him to help you. Nothing could go wrong.

Two hours passed. The food was cold. The candles were almost burnt down. The fucking idiot hadn’t come home.

The door was slammed open and closed and Ashton appeared in the doorframe to the dining room. You were standing by the neatly covered table with a frown and tears already filling your eyes.

“What’s going on, Y/N?” He chuckled unknowing as your heart sank down into your stomach. It stood so clear in his face that he had forgotten everything about the plans. About how you were going to have a small date at home. You had planned it together. How was it even possible for him to forget something like that?

“It’s Valentine’s Day.” You stuttered and played with a loose string on your shirt. “We were supposed to have a little night together.”

It wasn’t supposed to hurt as much as it did, but it did. It wasn’t the first time he had forgotten about a date. It wasn’t the first time he had forgotten about you.

“Oh my god, I totally cut that out. I’m sorry, babe.” He mumbled and took his jacket off, throwing it by the door. Great. Now he was making a mess, too. “The studio and the writing take most of my time, so I totally forgot about it.”

“Yeah, yeah. Isn’t the first time.” You hissed quietly, rolling your eyes at him. Ashton sighed, knowing how true it was. He also knew how many times he had forgotten about the time, about the dates, about the important things in the relationship.

“You are such a good girlfriend.” He whispered and walked towards you, slowly, as if you were a wild animal. As if you could attack him any minute - which you could, and you would.

“I’m out of your league.” It wasn’t even to be better, or bragging or funny. You were out of his league. Not because you were better looking, but because you put time and effort into the relationship while Ashton barely took the time to look at you. It wasn’t his fault, it was his job. But you were getting tired of that excuse.

“I know.” He put his head in his hands, rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know if that’s enough.” You stumbled upon your words and walked away from him and his dumb excuses. You didn’t know what you wanted from him, you just knew you wanted something more. Not more time with him, just affection. He needed to acknowledge that you were there, that you wouldn’t stay in the relationship if it was problematic like this.

You hurried upstairs, back facing Ashton as you ran into the bedroom. He wasn’t following you, he knew that would be the most idiotic thing to do in that moment. He let you smack the door and be alone.

He let you cry. You weren’t sobbing, just a few tears rolling down your cheek as you sat on the edge of the bed. The heavy smell of sex and sleep covered the room and you wanted to open a window but couldn’t even get yourself to stand up. It was too hard, too much to stand up from the bed.

You were sitting perfectly, almost like a royalty on the bed. Hands in your lap, legs crossed and straight back. Trying your best to keep your chin high, to think of the silver lining that pretty much seemed invisible. Positivity had always been a huge part of your life, however, in this moment it seemed like positivity was just pure fiction.

You were staring at the door. Waiting for it to be opened. Waiting for Ashton to arrive with an angry look and ready to argue. It was doomed to be a fight. And then on Valentine’s Day. A tear rolled down and smeared your mascara as you thought of the whole scenario. You had said that his apologies weren’t enough. That his feelings were less important than feelings were less important than yours.

The door creaked open and Ashton stepped forward in the light with a small box of chocolate. You remembered buying those chocolates and hiding them in the kitchen underneath pot and pans but apparently, Ashton had found your hiding spot for the candy.

“Are you okay?” He whispered and opened the window, the fresh scent of air from outside hitting your nose instantly. It made everything easier as soon as fresh air rose to your head.

“No.” Your voice hitched as Ashton dumped down right next to you on the bed, holding the chocolate box towards you.

“I found these and thought that you might want them.” He smiled. A sad smile. The kind of smile you would give to a widow after her husband died a few years ago. He gave you one of those smiles.

“Fuck.” You swore and pulled the chocolates out of his hand, ripping the box open and putting one candy in your mouth after the other. “I hate this, actually.”

“Huh?” Ashton questioned, not completely understanding you with a mouth full of chocolate.

“I’m right. We both know I’m right. You are a terrible boyfriend, sir.” You chuckled and didn’t even care about how Ashton’s face drowned into a sea of emotions. “But then you do something like this, and I just can’t…”

“Break up with me?” Ashton finished your sentence and you stopped stuffing your mouth with the delicious dark chocolate.

“I would never break up with you on Valentine’s Day.” You said it with a sigh, a deep sigh filled with truth being held back. Because you would. If he had started a fight instead of bringing you chocolate, you would have broken up with him. It was almost pathetic.

“But any other day…” Ashton said and laughed. He always managed to squeeze a giggle into a conversation or a fight. He would always smile at least once during an argument. You hated it. He wasn’t supposed to be smiling, he was supposed to be crying, to be mad.

“I made everything perfect.” You whispered. “The food, the candles. I even bought new lingerie. I don’t know why, but I thought that we actually could have a good night. A nice date without you checking your phone all the time, without you showing up late.”

You lacked the tears. It was one of those moments where tears would have fitted perfectly. They would have trilled down your rosy cheeks, making it seem like you had given up. But you hadn’t. You knew that if both you and Ashton gave a little more, fought a little more, then the relationship could work out.

“I love you. You love me. I don’t know why you’re talking like we’re gonna break up, but this love is not dead, Y/N.”

It wasn’t. You looked at him with a smile, not knowing what to say. Not knowing what to do, what your next move should be. Not knowing if it was for the best if you two broke up. He never had time for you, and he would never ever have time for you. He had a different life than you, a faster life with a quick tempo.

You kissed him. Dropped the chocolates on the ground, and leant in to cup his face. It didn’t even seem like it was a surprise for Ashton. He reacted too quickly that he must have thought about it, too. You leant in, the sudden desire biting in you. His hands were roaming your body, pushing you slightly by your hips, making you lay down completely on the bed.

You wanted him, you needed him. His tongue was running over your bottom lip, begging for entrance as his long, cold fingers fiddled with the hem of your shirt. Your hands splayed across his lower back as he found a comfortable position for you both, his knees between your thighs, never breaking the kiss as he had one hand on your waist, holding himself above you with the other.

Your body sizzled as the warmth of his body brushed against the coldness of yours, his fingertips caressing your bare skin under your shirt, your nails biting into his lower back as he brushed your lips together.

You had forgotten everything about Ashton’s horrible skills as a boyfriend because of his skills as a womaniser. You wanted to think about the things he had done, the things he had forgotten but his touch made you bend, made you forget too easily and too fast. And you didn’t complain. Your blood was buzzing as Ashton slowly pulled your shirt over your head, only breaking the kiss once.

You felt the hotness of your body rising, you wanting to be in control while also wanting to lose control and let Ashton do everything. It seemed like Ashton wanted to control, wanted to pleasure you. As soon as he moved his mouth from your lips, leaving small traces of hickeys down your neck, you had lost it all. Lost control, lost command, lost discipline. You needed him to do something else than just grinding his boner against your thigh, you needed him to do something.

It was like he had read your mind. Without hesitating, Ashton moved his lips from your neck and moved to your pants ever so slowly, pulling them off and throwing them and your heels on the ground, making an outlandish sound while pulling off his own shirt. He smirked up at you with a glimpse in his eyes. He was about to do something.

“You really bought new lingerie for me?” You had forgotten about the matching, red lace underwear but Ashton noticed immediately. Ashton’s hands were on your hips as he looked up at you with wide eyes.

“I think I would lie to you?” You giggled and tangled your fingers in his hair as he grabbed your hips tighter, moving you to the edge of the bed.

“Of course you wouldn’t.” He purred against your thighs, leaving sloppy kisses upwards them. A gasp escaped your lips as he leaving small kisses outside your lingerie before throwing them to the side, too.

“You ready for something good, baby girl?” He hummed against your core, sending a shiver down your back.

“Ash, just do something.” You gulped, making Ashton chuckle before he placed his lips against your slit, leaving small pecks, slowly becoming fiercer as he his tongue became a bigger part, leaving wet kisses against your entrance.

You moaned as soon as he flicked his tongue around your clit and he himself couldn’t hold back the innocent whimpers.

You arched your back, pulling his hair harder as he embraced his mouth around you. “I’m gonna…”

“Already?” Ashton pulled away, licking his lips before the last groan came out of your mouth.

“What, you’re not gonna finish me off?” You growled, making Ashton chuckle as he pulled off his own pants.

“Not already, princess. I want you to come around my cock.” He lowered himself so his lips were nipping your ear as he whispered the words.

“I hate you so fucking much.” You swore before taking off your bra, throwing it away. He couldn’t just ruin it, ruin the moment and ruin your lust. You wanted him more now, you needed him more now.

He took off his own boxers, his dick hardened by the look of your lying naked under him and the sounds you were so desperately making. His knees between your damp legs, his hand running up your waist, his eyes glancing down your body.

“I love you.” He said in a hushed voice, you completely stuttered by this. He never said it during sex. It was almost like an unwritten rule. You would confess how much you loved each other after sex, but not during sex. You couldn’t even answer before he had buried himself into you, slowly, waiting for you to adjust you to his size as you let out a small breath.

“You’re gorgeous.” He whispered but you barely noticed.

Slowly he set a pace, making the small moans coming from the both of you bigger as he slammed your hips together, he left small kisses down your neck, down your jaw, on the corner of your lips, but never fully kissing you. The breath of sex and sweat covered the room.

“Fuck!” you whimpered as soon as he found your g-spot, hitting it every time he would move. His hands grabbed the sheets tighter as you whimpered softly, your body filled with pleasure, trails of fire shooting down your skin.

Everything became lighter. “Ashton-“

“Come on, baby.” He quivered above you, his own climax nearing.

Waves of electricity shocked through your body as Ashton kept going, while you were moaning a mixture of curse words and his name as he reached his own high, his whole body shivering and he collapsed on your side, the sweat trickling down your head, hairs sticking to his forehead as he gasped for air.

“I love you, too, Ashton.” You exhaled, your voice hitching as you found your normal breathing pattern again.

You both just laid there for a minute or two. With the covers covering your naked, sweaty bodies, not saying a word. Looking up at the ceiling, your hand intertwined with his. Emotions were flowing through your body. He couldn’t do anything more to distract you from the thought of him making the same mistakes over and over again.

“I’ll try my best.” He whispered without looking at you. “To be better. I haven’t even been trying lately. I’ll change that. I don’t want to lose you.”

A blush crept onto your cheeks as you tried your best not to look him directly in his beautiful eyes.

“I don’t want to lose you either.”

masterlist // omg pls talk to me about this i need to know

[demondeanismybaby]

Martini Dry With a Twist

Pairing: Dean x reader, Sam

Word Count:1157 

Warnings:Drinking, slight angst, fluff, mostly none, brief mentions of underage drinking

Summary:Your turning 21 and you are going out with Dean and Sam. One snap decision causes the whole night to shift. 

A/N: This is my submission for Rose’s Birthday Drinking Challenge. My prompt was Hendrick’s Gin and “This taking off clothes thing is too hard at the moment!”. I hope you like it. This was actually pretty fun to write.  

The bouncer didn’t even glance at you, as you handed him your ID. Even though it was typical of the joints that Dean brought you to, tonight it was mildly annoying. This was the first time that the actual date was authentic even if your name wasn’t. Turning 21 wasn’t the type of event that typically mattered to most hunters, you had tasted your first beer when you were just a kid hanging out with your dad after you had successfully managed to hit every target dead on during training. Still, it was a landmark. 

When the bouncer shoved your card back, you huffed, still he didn’t budge but it was loud enough that Sam chuckled behind you. 

Dean was a few paces in front of you, and when he sat down at the neon drenched bar, you took the place to his right but before sitting you briefly glanced at the patches of bright green duck tape over the stool but bits of foam still stuck out around them. It was a dive bar, but as you got ready to order your first official drink you decided to choose something classy. 

You scanned behind the bar, trying to pick anything that was a label name brand, and you saw the Hendrick’s it was gin but the bottle appealed to you most, it looked like something that was made by hand in some tiny town. You only knew one drink that had gin in though and you knew Dean was going to laugh at you when you ordered. It was your night though, so you pushed through. 

As the bartender ambled over, you quickly took in his appearance, you were trained to sum up people in this life and you had his pegged before he even asked your drink. He was in his 50′s, hadn’t showered in close to a week, his beard was mostly grey and touched his yellow and brown shirt, which you knew had originally probably been white. He was the kind of guy who, when he noticed you sandwiched between the boys, would try and flirt shamelessly with you. 

“Hey beautiful, are you sure your old enough to be here?” 

You called it. 

You pointedly ignored him, “One martini, with Hendrick’s.”

He was still staring at you with half-lidded eyes, so you choose to direct you attention of Dean, figuring he would flirt less if he thought you were involved. His head was thrown back in easy laughter at your order so you playfully poked him in the ribs.  “Now honey,” you gave him an extra sharp nudge, “don’t laugh at me on my birthday.” 

When you tried to complete the charade by kissing his cheek, you turned back to see the bartender had left defeated to mix your drink, and when you noticed the boys both of them were gaping at you. 

Rolling your eyes at them, “what he was flirting with me, I wanted him to leave me alone.” 

Sam was the one who broke the tension by playfully pouting, “so why didn’t you choose me to be the fake boyfriend.” 

Dean was still acting weirdly off about it, so you decided to step up your game, “who said anything about fake boyfriend, Dean here is my fake husband.” 

When his look soured even further you were caught off guard maybe something else was going on. Finally the old man brought you your drink and you were so frustrated at the quick onset of strange things on your birthday you didn’t even pause when you noticed the slightly dirty looking glass and you chugged it down quickly.  

Your throat stung, it wasn’t the type of thing a person typically drank quickly but you decided right there that you wanted to get drunk, drunk tonight. 

“Another, please.” 

There had been some conversation with Sam, who seemed to remember that tonight was your birthday, he kept bringing up stories from when you first met and embarrassing things you had done when you were younger, but no-fun-Dean had stayed mostly silent. There were four or five empty glasses in front of you at this point, but mostly you didn’t care, it was too hot all of a sudden. 

The ground swayed beneath you, as you quickly jumped off the lopsided stool. Then there was a warmth against your shoulder and it steadied, looking back behind you Dean was holding you firm. You shook him off, not caring if you stumbled you were mad. 

“Get off me, Winchester, it’s my birthday.” The heat was all over you again and you started to try and pull off the jacket you were wearing but the sleeves kept sticking at your arms were pulled out behind you at weird angles. 

“Calm down Y/N,” Dean was touching you again. 

Everything was frustrating, Dean, your coat, creepy old guys, and next thing you knew you were shouting, “This taking off clothes thing is too hard at the moment!”

Sam helped you out, and you gushed as he untangled you, “awe Sammy, my savior, you know how to help a woman out,” you added winking. 

“Y/N! Impala now,” Dean was basically carrying you as he steered you out the door. 

No one even attempted to follow you, which even in this state made sense, they probably saw a lot worse at a bar like this. Stepping outside you took a deep inhalation of the cool night air, it felt like it was giving you renewed fight, no longer was the stale stench of cigarette smoke choking your thoughts. 

Shoving out of Dean’s hand you spun around a little, “What the hell is your problem?” 

“Me? Dude you are drunk, you just need to go home.” 

“Why are you acting like this tonight? It’s supposed to be fun, it is my night.” You weren’t trying to sound spoiled but everything was always about Dean and Sam and hunting. You knew you deserved one day to feel special, like things weren’t all doom and gloom. 

You couldn’t help but notice the way he shifted his gaze, he looked guilty and you were glad. 

He kicked the gravel and it puffed out around your ankles, “I was waiting to tell you something, and the whole thing earlier it kind of threw me off.” 

Great you thought, it is more bad news. “Ok.” 

He was silent and completely stilled. Then he reached for you, instinctively you took a step back. And his face fell. 

“Do you really think I would hurt you?” 

You realized he wanted you closer, and even though things were fuzzy you did know that Dean was great, he was more than great he was amazing and you quickly stepped close to him. 

When he leaned down, his height dwarfing you completely, you barely felt him kiss you, everything was so out of focus. Your last coherent thought of the night was that maybe this wasn’t such a bad birthday after all. 

[musikaela]

It’s a funny feeling, falling out of love

I’m not sure why I’m writing this. I feel like I’ve talked about it plenty. Maybe I never felt that I expressed everything that I could. Maybe I want him to see this because I want to explain. Maybe I want to explain to myself. Who knows.

Anyway, this is the story how I may have arguably lost one of the best things I’ve ever had.

A year and a half and ago, during my senior year of high school, I met a tall, lanky, nerdy guy in my statistics class and he stole my heart. I initiated our relationship with a stupid note and somehow it worked. We went on dates, like, actual dates. We did homework together. And we learned together what the hell it took to make sex work (since neither of us had really done it before). I shared everything with him; my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my passions. Hell, he was my passion. I craved him like nothing else and the days when his parents were gone and we could spend hours in bed together were the best days. I loved him with all of my heart and I sincerely hoped that I would spend the rest of my life with him. Then came college.

I probably should have realized that I was doomed from the first week. We were put into groups and made to do activities together during the week before school started. There was a guy, short, stockish, kinda the opposite of my boyfriend. But he was nice to me, he wasn’t like the other kids in our group who seemed to get very clique-ish very fast. It also helped that he was an actual model. I flirted with him, big time. I fantasized about kissing him, and when I was with him I totally forgot that my boyfriend even existed. I blamed hormones. Thankfully he never showed real interest in me, so nothing really came out of it. I still see him around and wish wistfully that he would talk to me more, but that’s a totally different story.

Then came the best friend, the enabler. We met at a silly social thing in our dorm building. He invited me to hang out, and there was an instant connection. The funny thing is, he was also in a long-distance relationship that had been going for about as long as mine, so I imagine he was feeling similarly to how I was. We needed something, we needed release, but I think there was definitely some attraction involved too. There was a progression of emotions involved with this relationship. At first, there was the thrill of this new passionate experience. But soon after came guilt, and the feeling that I was doing something wrong, that I was a terrible person. And then there was acceptance that, I couldn’t keep beating myself up for how I felt, and so things progressed. We never had sex, that was the one line we drew, but I spent so much time with him that it basically felt like he was my new Cal Poly boyfriend. Hell, when we first started hanging out, people asked if we were dating and while I said no, I would always add “maybe in another life, if neither of us were taken”. I felt so attached to him that when he told me we needed space, that I needed to find new friends besides him, I was devastated. I felt like he had broken up with me. I wish I had ended everything there.

Since coming to college, salsa dancing has become a huge passion of mine. I met a guy from my hometown in a class hosted by the salsa club on campus, and I’m still not totally sure how it happened, but I started becoming attracted to him. It didn’t take too long for him to kiss me in his car while he was dropping me off at home, and then invite me to come over the following night. I knew what I was doing, I knew that it was wrong, but I was so caught up in the feeling of pleasure and passion that I wasn’t thinking straight. I still rationalized that, I loved my boyfriend, and I wasn’t about to break up with him for this guy. He didn’t have to know. A few weeks in and the guys roommate confronts me about how couple-y we were acting and I decided to break it off right before spring break. This is the point where everything started to change. 

I only had a few days to spend with my boyfriend during spring break, and it turned out that he was sick to the point where he was scared to kiss me in case he infected me. So, safe to say, we didn’t have sex. I wouldn’t see him for another month at least, and in that time, there was CSO. A salsa event, the Collegiate Salsa Open in LA. Leading up to this event, a guy I had met at another salsa event in SLO started messaging me a lot. I wasn’t sure what to think about it, but he gave me lots of compliments and I honestly just kinda soaked up the attention. When we finally met again in person, and we danced, I felt safe and comfortable. I wanted to be closer to him. I probably danced with him half the night and when he finally kissed me while dancing bachata I was done for. He invited me to come hang out with him and his teammates from San Jose State after the event, and so I went. And I stayed the night. And during that time we hooked up. I told him I had a boyfriend the next morning, but somehow that didn’t change anything. Maybe he knew that I was grasping at straws in my relationship. It doesn’t really matter.

Over the course of the next week, I started texting salsa boy A LOT. We talked about seeing each other again, and inevitably I started talking about how I was feeling in my relationship. Admittedly, I was very resistant when he told me that I should tell my boyfriend about what I had been doing, because I was sure it would end in us breaking up, and I was convinced that that was the last thing I wanted. Turns out, it was exactly what I needed. For months I had been straying, trying and failing to be present with my boyfriend. Wanting to much to love him and just make it through our first year of college. Him coming to visit me was the wakeup call. He showed up and instead of running up and kissing him I smiled weakly and took his hand. I barely let him touch me all weekend because I was uncomfortable, between the guilt and the ever rising realization that this was the time for me to end it. I didn’t love him anymore. I wanted so much to feel the same passion that I used to feel but I didn’t. I broke up with him at the end of that weekend.

The worst part of all of this is that, in my heart, I know I can never replace him. Part of me still loves him, or at least loves the memories that I have of us together. I numb out whenever I think of him because it’s too painful to think that I pushed away this amazing person that was always there to love and care for me, that would have been willing to work through it. I’m dating salsa guy now, and I’m starting to realize that we may never have what I had with my ex. Our relationship was born out of a flame of passion and is likely to die out just as quickly. I had something stable, something happy, so why did I not want it anymore? I fell out of love, and I’m still struggling to understand why, because if I could go back, I would stop myself from doing everything I did, and maybe I would still love him just as much as I did before. But hindsight is 20/20 and what’s done is done. 

This is my confession. Feel free to think less of me than you did before. I already do.