#it actually is in america if u can believe it
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kissingarthurclaus · 2 years ago
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Also it's so funny how there's some references to Star Wars in MHA like the train station being called Tatooine and the beach being Dagoba(h) so like...I wonder if it's canonically a movie/show series in this world or if they revere it as something like ancient greek mythology?? So much so that they name landmarks after it?? 😂😂😂
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chaiaurchaandni · 1 year ago
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is hamas = isis?
i've been seeing zionists say that 'anti-zionist and pro-palestine jews who oppose israel are not real jews' and ... first of all. who are you to decide who is and isnt a real jew?
and secondly!!! guess what this is a disturbing parallel to? ISIS.
because when the islamic state declared a caliphate, they also said smth similar: that any muslim who opposes the caliphate of the islamic state, is an apostate.
also interesting to note that, according to isis, hamas would also be apostates + isis also opposed hamas bec isis believed that nobody besides the caliphate of islamic state had the right to declare jihad -> so isis declared war on hamas
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on the other hand, israel has provided free treatment to isis and other syrian militants in israeli hospitals
obv the tactic of equating hamas with isis is pure hasbara done for the sake of creating mass hysteria against hamas and convincing the usa/nato to sanction the mass killing of palestinians (in the name of eliminating hamas). macron even said the same coalition fighting isis should also fight hamas
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some more differences + links mentioned below the cut:
some other differences:
isis is a salafi/wahabi org (look into islamic statism) /// hamas is a sunni org
isis is a transnational org /// hamas is a palestinian nationalist org
the aim of isis is to eradicate all 'bad' muslims+non-muslims & establish their rule all over the world /// the aim of hamas is to secure complete liberation of palestine
isis has conducted militant operations in different countries beyond its territories /// hamas does not conduct operations beyond historic palestine
isis kills anyone who does not adhere to its extremist interpretation of islam (including yazidis, jews, christians, shia & sufi muslims) /// hamas has been tolerant to different sects (alliance with shia hezbollah org) + different religions (palestinian christians/foreign aid workers)
isis literally legalized slavery which afaik no other islamic militant org has done (besides boko haram i think?)
isis is extremely anti-shia and opposes hamas for having links with iran and hezbollah
isis also feels obligated to kill any other muslim that does not pledge loyalty to the caliphate (even attacked some of their own previous allies) /// hamas has an alliance with several other palestinian resistance organizations regardless of different ideologies as long as they share a common goal of liberating palestine (palestinian joint operations room)
pls lmk if any info here is incorrect/needs editing!
links:
What Effect ISIS' Declaration Of War Against Hamas Could Have In The Middle East : NPR
Hamas Is Not ISIS. Here's Why That Matters | TIME
UN Report: Israel in Regular Contact with Syrian Rebels including ISIS - IBTimes India
Ideology of the Islamic State - Wikipedia
Why Islamic State has no sympathy for Hamas - Al-Monitor: Independent, trusted coverage of the Middle East
France’s Macron says anti-ISIL coalition should fight Hamas | Israel-Palestine conflict News | Al Jazeera
Salafist ideological challenge to Hamas in Gaza - BBC News
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autistic-katara · 4 months ago
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why is the silly art blog i follow putting borderline tankie shit on my dash 😭
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straightyuri · 1 year ago
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The times I've seen Mexican soldier is less than zero n I can't stop thinking abt it. BOO *makes every character latino*
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yauchfilms · 9 months ago
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so american ✢ max verstappen
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pairing: max verstappen x singer!reader
warnings: none; just some silly shit, some swearing, google translate dutch, max's home race is belgium and not the netherlands for timeline related reasons
summary: y/n is teasing way too many things at once…..can the fans keep up? 
author's note: this is NOT an original concept i am aware of this. but this hasn’t left my brain in days. i’ve got a very specific vision so let me cook. i know i haven't posted on here in over a year but i've returned an f1 fan. enjoy!
yourname added to their story! 
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liked by delwatergap, maxverstappen1, and 3,491,842 others
yourname: i think i'm in love with montreal. sorry i’ve been so off the grid but i am Loving Life so hard. so much inspo in my life rn. will talk soon i promise. love u all bunches 🫶🏼🌷
ynsbestfriend: hey queen you have done it again!
-> yourname: ugh i love you so bad
user1: UM BAE WHOS THAT IN THE LAST SLIDE?
-> yourname: beats me! 
-> user1: i do not trust you. 
lilymhe: hiiiii pretty girl
-> yourname: stop im blushinggggg
user2: i fear she’s in her lover girl era 
-> user3: girl help im so fucking scared right now what’s happening
user4: so does any of this have to do with your story from yesterday??????
*liked by yourname.*
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maxverstappen1 added to their story! 
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yourname added to their story! 
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liked by honeymoon, danielricciardo, and 3,572,679 others
yourname: life's been a beach lately. clearly i've been loathing my time in spain ://///
user5: IS THAT MAX
-> user6: no bc it HAS to be
heidiberger_: Loved spending the week with you! 🤍
-> yourname: same!!!!!! let's do it again sometime 🥰
-> user6: NOT DANNY RIC'S GF COMMENTING?????? AND LILY MUNI HE ON HER LAST POST???????
user6: no bc even if her and max were dating and she's been traveling with him why have we not seen her in the paddock
-> user7: to throw us off our rhythm????
-> user8: what if they debut at his home race in spa ijbol
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liked by landonorris, taylorswift, and 4,683,892 others.
tagged: maxverstappen1, redbullracing, and ynsbestfriend
yourname: hahaha felt like dropping 2 things at once on u guys LOLLLLLLLL. thank u to redbullracing, spagrandprix, and the city of spa for letting me and my friends crash the race the other week to film the “so american” music video, and to maxie for winning in ur home country. it was so fucking special to be there supporting u. i love u baby!
ps. another thank u to max for thinking i'm the funniest person in the world and making fun of my americanness for as long as i've known him (which is quite a while).
enjoy this tune guys. it's urs forever and i hope u love it as much as i love the person it's about 🫶🏼 🇧🇪 🇳🇱 TU DU DU DU!!!!!
user9: OH NMY GOD I FUCKING KNEW I SAW U IN THE GARAGE
ynsbestfriend: thanks for letting me third wheel mommy
-> yourname: no one else i'd rather drag along!!!
danielricciardo: Welcome to the family! Song's a banger although I can't believe it's actually about Max of all people 🤢 GROSS!!
-> yourname: jealousy is a disease danny.
user10: i actually cannot fathom this this is so me core
alexandramalsaintmleux: I am so glad to know you! Your happiness is everything 🩷
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liked by sabrinacarpenter, carlossainz55, and 4,783,522 others. 
tagged: yourname and ynsfriend
maxverstappen1: Spent a week away in New England with my talented, gorgeous girl. Loved getting away and experiencing America through her eyes! Consider me an honorary American now! Also, stream “So American” wherever you choose. It's about me 😉 
yourname: does this mean i can stop hiding in the garage now???
landonorris: Happy for you mate! Love the song as well yourname 🤍
-> yourname: awe thank u lando 🥺 i got more to show u when i see u next!!!!!!
redbullracing: ❤️💙
user11: MAX IS IN HIS LOVER BOY ERA
danielricciardo: How many more times can you say American?
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liked by charles_leclerc, chappellroan, and 3,694,849 others
tagged: maxverstappen1
yourname: nothing like celebrating the best 2 weeks of my life than showing my boy around ye olde stomping grounds #soamerican
liamlawson30: This is so American of him
-> yourname: like he fits in so well!
lydianight: u'll have him in the american flag board shorts in no time
-> yourname: baby steps :///
user11: she really is in her lover girl era 🥺
clairo: did you take him to the chipotle that is also a historic landmark downtown??
-> yourname: dude of COURSE i did. he said it was "interesting"
yourname added to their story! 
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minart-was-taken · 6 months ago
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The wild references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail
Hello, in this post I'm going to go over the various references to Finland in Honkai Star Rail (Also touching a little on HI3) and explaining them the best I can so that non-finns can understand how hilariously delightful they are.
_
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Starting with a funny one: Welt Yang.
The man is canonically 1/2 finnish, 1/4th chinese and 1/4th german according to sources I dont understand.
The way this is represented in Honkai Star Rail comes in one intentional form and one that may be an accident but I love it anyway:
1.
Welt's given name is Joachim Nokianvirtanen, a name that is utterly hilarious to a finn like me. Why? Well Nokianvirtanen is not a surname anyone here would ever have. Virtanen is a real surname, but for some reason Mihoyo decided slap Nokia in the front of it??
The name translates to "Nokia's rapids." Which adds to the funniness because yes Nokia is an actual place in Finland and not just the brand, but it is also very much the brand.
(Also Joachim is not a finnish name even if many finns are christian.)
This is the equivalant of naming an american character Jesus McDonaldslake.
2.
Welt's hair colour! A lot of people imagine blond and blue eyes when imagining a finn, but that's not actually accurate to the statistics. The most common hair colour here is in fact "Maantien harmaa." Translating to country road grey. Sometimes they leave out the word grey or replace it with blond. The colour is known as dirty blond or pale brown in english speaking countries 👍 This is less funny and just a cute detail.
_
Secondly we'll be going over Sampo Koski, a man many know to have a very finnish name.
BUT FIRST Fun backround info: I didn't know Sampo was in this game when I first started playing, so when he showed up and suddenly dropped finnish words at me I was utterly jumpscared.
Finland is very rarely referenced in media outside of our country, so most of us are NOT used to hearing anything about our home in media.
Furthermore there's actually a meme about this very thing that everyone in the country knows: Torilla Tavataan. This translates to "Lets meet at the marketplace" which is referring to the idea that when something massively cool happens we should gather together and celebrate.
The finns REALLY want to be acknowledged by the wider world lol
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Anyway back to Sampo. His name is actually something I could totally see a real finn having, although his first name is a little out there.
Sampo is an item from finnish* mythology that was forged by a super capable smith with the help of his whole village. The item is golden with multiple spouts that produce valuable things like flour, gold and I believe... salt? You can find more about the item online.
Koski meanwhile means a river rapid. Uhm, lotsa water themed names here, huh!
Nothing that funny going on with his references to be honest. I can even say the voice actor did an amazing job pronouncing his name correctly.
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Yunli's companion quest!
This is the newest batch of references I've ran into, but if I or anyone else finds more I'll be updating this list :]
In Yunli's companion quest we meet... Paavo. His name is Paavo--
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This NPC introduces himself as a traveler from far away who's come to deliver a sword from his homeland back to the Xianzhou where it was originally forged. Here's why he made me giggle uncontrollably every moment he was on screen.
1.
Paavo is considered kind of a joke name, very comparable to naming someone Bob in america. The way NPC's referred to him sounded like "Mr. Bob" to me. It was so funny
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2.
He is from the PLANET KALEVALA?? SAFlJ LJ ???
Kalevala is the national epic of Finland* and tells stories such as the one of Sampo's creation. The title does refer to setting of the story, but it is still weird to hear it as a name of a planet lol.
3.
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Our food is really repetitive u right Mr. Paavo
4.
Paavo explains the sword he has come to deliver is called Miekka Kivessä. This is the finnish translations of "The sword in the stone." he proceeds to then explain the legend of the sword in the stone, which. It's not a finnish legend. We've never had a king, yet alone chosen them with a sword-- Not even in myths. Kalevala's highest ranking guy in the mortal realm is Väinämöinen who's an old wise man.
Also he says Miekka Kivessä wrong but that's to be expected, very funny, and also I admire the effort to at least try and make it sound natural.
5.
Finally, he later reveals his last name-- Which, why are we refering to him as Mr. Paavo if he has a last name...? Oh well! Mr. Paavo's last name is Kalastaja, which translates to Fisher. This is not a real last name in Finland. The english equivalent of this man's goddang name would be something like Mr. Bob Employee.
_
Since you've made it this far I assume you won't mind me rambling a bit more. I'm personally psyched to see Finland mentioned in non-finnish media and love the wonky but genuine attempts to include us!
I think considering how many weebs there are in Finland who've come up with illogical "Asian names" to sound cool online, it's only fair we got the same treatment back :P I hope they'll keep delivering and I'd love to visit planet Kalevala one day.
_
*It's worth noting Finland is a colonizer of the Sami people, and a lot of their culture has been annexed without any care or respect towards them.
Finland was also under colonialism itself for hundreds of years, and our myths have been largely lost to time with only some information left. It's super difficult to tell what is finnish mythology and whats the Sami people's mythology.
That's a fact that's deeply important to remember when discussing things like this, and I hope that the people reading this consider looking into how to help the indigenous people of the nordic region. Thank you.
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featherandferns · 3 months ago
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JJ x feminist reader when Kamala loses
bro don't even I can't fucking believe it. I'm so sorry american pals and gals, my heart actually bleeds for u (if you're a trump supporter respectfully depart from my blog, I hate him <3)
"No."
"What the fuck-"
"No, this can't be happening-"
"What the actual fuck-"
"No!"
It's like your body is possessed. You stand to your feet and stare at the television like you're watching a train wreck happen before your eyes. And you are. Because Kamala lost, and Trump won.
"And the forty-seventh president of the United States-" the stiff faced newsreader relays "-is Donald J. Trump."
"Fuck!" JJ shouts. He grabs for his beer bottle and lurches it towards the television. The glass shatters against the wall. You drop back down onto the sofa as if you're legs have lost all their strength. Your head falls into your hands and your eyes squeeze shut. It's like a nightmare. This can't be happening.
"This is fucking rigged! It's fucking rigged, I swear to God!" JJ is rambling, angry and heartbroken, almost as much as you. His arm flails out to the television as if personally condemning it for giving this news. "He's a fucking criminal! A fucking criminal and he gets voted in again!"
But it scares you. Scares you in a way that JJ doesn't understand, a way that he would never understand. He lost the power once before, let it slip through his fingers, and you have an awful feeling that he's not going to make that mistake again. Roe versus Wade flashes through your head. Every pregnancy scare you've ever shared with JJ now comes with that extra, looming concern that if you are, if it is real, then you don't have any choice. Well, you do - you have the choice to risk an infection or even death whilst taking autonomy over your body and life. But what next? What could Trump possibly know of what it is to be a woman in America? What was he going to take from the people next?
JJ's arms wrap around you and he tugs you into his side. He presses his face into your hair and plants a kiss to your cheek.
"I'm so sorry."
Tears well into your eyes. "I fucking hate him, JJ."
"I know-"
"No," you snap, "you don't know, JJ. You can hate him but not like I do. Not like we do. I mean, the stuff he's said about women. The stuff he's done-"
You lift your head and meet JJ's eyes. There's the anger there, the rage held back by his sympathy. His jaw is tight but his lips are downturned. He nods. Sighing, you rub at your eyes.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't snap at you."
"Nah, I get it. It's scary."
"It's fucking terrifying," you agree quietly.
JJ presses a kiss to your forehead and you let yourself melt into him. The two of you sit like that on the sofa for a long, long moment. The television rambles in the background, reciting which state voted which party, and you want to scream. It was so close that you could almost taste it. A female president. Wouldn't that have been incredible? A female's perspective. A female in power. A female for all the other little girls to look up to, to dream to be.
"Next time," JJ reassures, as if reading your thoughts like a teleprompter. "I promise it'll happen soon."
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ssparksflyy · 1 year ago
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Hi, I just saw that request are open so can you do a boyfriend headcanon with Jason Grace please?
ask and thou shall recieve ༉‧₊˚.
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jason grace dating hcs! ✮⋆˙ pairing : jason grace x gn!reader warning(s) : none ♡ an : tysm for ur request <3! hope u enjoy thisss! also why the heck did it take me 20 mins to make that little pic collab bcs nothing was matching so i js went 'screw it' anyway, enjoy!
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jason grace how i love you my sweet golden retriever boyfriend
im not even lying though
ive got a golden and she's very affectionate and he'd literally be the same
absolutely loves being around you 24/7, 365
ive seen some people say jason is like kinda tense, like he was raised to be a fighter, his guard is always up, and like he builds just a few walls to keep himself safe
but nahh best believe those walls are comin right down for you
he's only himself when he's with you !!
he literally feels so comfortable and trusts you with his life
definitely tells you EVERYTHING
not gonna lie i think jason is chismoso asf
( gossiper , nosy )
BUT LIKE secretively
like people think he doesnt care or isnt listening so they just gossip all care free when he's around cause they think he wont tell anybody
but in reality he's super invested
so like after a long day when your cuddled up in the zeus cabin he's not only telling you about his day but also updating you on the drama he's found out about
NOW I KNOW that may seem ooc, but im telling you, the walls are coming DOWN
jason literally adores it when you play with his hair
like it really just calms him down, especially after a rough day
bro just melts 🫠
i think jason is like in between with pda
yes of course he loves holding your hand and hugging you
but theres definitely a difference from when youre around people and when youre alone
dont know if that came out wrong
but he just feels more comfortable when its just you two
speaking of hand holding
he's literally a hand holding king
its literally just a habit at this point
i feel like he's a hands interlocked kinda guy
like hes just walks up to you, gives you a big ol smile ofc, and plop, slips his fingers in between yours. just like that. super casual about it.
OH MY GOD IF YOU WEAR GLASSES
he literally intentionally makes you bump glasses when youre kissing
dont know if that made sense i dont wear glasses
but he thinks its the funniest thing ever and laughs every time
lemme tell you somethin
literally even before you started dating
you haven't opened a single door while jason's around
even if youre like about to reach the door and he's a few feet away he'll literally sprint captain-america-on-your-left style to open the door for you
and then stands there looking stupid after you give him a kiss on his cheek
never fails to be left absolutely dumbfounded after you kiss him
which is probably why he isnt the biggest on pda
he knows he'll never be allowed to forget how stupid he looks
HE LOVES SLEEPOVERS
winkity wonkty
but actually he makes them so much fun
starts a pillow fight but loses
A SUCKER for karaoke
nah cause why do i think he'd be like "omg lets play spin the bottle" and youre just like "jason.. it's only me and you" and hes all like "your point??"
always ends his night with cuddles
youre literally his personal teddy bear sorry not sorry
not gonna lie i don't think jason's a jewelry fella
but get this
matching converse
they dont even have to be converse they can literally be any shoes
i just like converse
you guys got them custom made and everything ouuuu
even though he doesn't seem like he'd be too big on jewelry i feel like he has a silver necklace with your initials on it
i want to wear his initial on his chain round my neck not because he owns me but cause he really knows me
he's always wearing it, whether its like under his shirt (CLOSER TO HIS HEARTTTT) or over it and shining proudly
definitely has a playlist just titled '(name)' with a heart and its just a bunch of love songs that remind him of you ♡
he's literally so in love and makes sure you know that multiple times a day
where can i get me a jason grace :(
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scoringeffects · 4 months ago
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do you have/know of any kind of natejo primer post? i am starting to be very very intrigued by them…
there is this very delightful primer that covers natejo during their halifax mooseheads era (juniors, age 16-18 [2011-13]) and their team north america era (made up team for the 2016 world cup of hockey) i would so so super recommend clicking on every link there, and as for the 2023-24 season:
nate reached out to jo about playing with him in colorado during the summer because he knew his contract with montreal was coming to an end and jo signed for league mininum to play with him
jo talking about nate in his 'get to know me' interview
jo knows where nate is knows what he likes can almost feel him on the ice. normal things to say about your center.
they walk their dogs together!
bench yappers. ignore that nate probably doesnt have a great deal of concepts about personal space.
both nate and jo achieved career highs in points playing on the same line. nate by 29 freaking points. jo also had a career high in time on ice per game !
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nate has the most assists on jo's goals, and jo loves to pass to nate.
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one of jo's very best games as an av where he scored the OT winner and partially helped nate extend his second to gretzky home point streak. not inherently natejo but the nhl put the full game up on youtube and its a fun background watch because the announcers r so very nice about jo yayayyyyy. okay hold on it definately used to be up on youtube as a 'fan favourite' voted in game and now its either unlisted, restricted, or entirely gone. fascinating. what a wonderful league. anway.
here's nate saying that jo is his favourite teammate ever. since 2010 nate has played with at least 280 people. he said this during his hart (league mvp as voted by the writers' association) and ted lindsay (league mvp as voted by the players' association) award interview. also couldnt find it for the life of me but im certain there's an interview where jo says he wants to play with nate for ten more years. EDIT: here is the article, found by the lovely @mi-kko-ran-tanen it is also a bit of a natejo primer very very good would encourage a read
24-25 season:
jo resigned for another year ! turned down money again for 'loyalty and happiness'
they actually might have seperation anxiety
jo is going to be point per game this season i believe it with my whole heart.
r-ing into the rpf:
nate's start in the league was . well. the avs were very very bad for quite sometime, bottomed out nearly historically after the 2016-17 season (season directly after team north america and the world cup of hockey) and i think this is around the time nate locked in so to speak. this spittin chiclets interview from 2019 is pretty good (dont let the spittin chiclets part put u off 🙏), he talks about worrying about being a bust, about his expectations and also just the way he talks back then and what he's achieved in the five years since oh nate u have no idea whats in store for u ☹️
jo's time in the nhl has been tumultuous to say the least.
mid way into the 2022-23 season he held the record for most points without a goal by a forward in a single season. (he ended the season 2-27-29, scoring a goal in his 46th game) teammate and close friend josh anderson was quite sweet about it all
there's a lot of talk about jo being a draft bust, there's also a lot of talk about his development being screwed from the get go (sent back down to juniors for the 2013-14 season despite having won the calder cup the uear prior because if a player is juniors eligable they cant play in the minors or smth like that), he was also injured a lot, the habs under bergevin not being great at player development, and in tampa and montreal there was an expectation on him to be an offensive powerhouse that he just wasnt unfortunately due to injuries and mental health issues. they also tried to develop him at center.
it is absolutely not the best metric to measure 'draft bustness', but sorting the 2013 draft by games played and total points, jo is top 20 for games played and top 15 for total points
an espn redraft from march of 2023 has him still in the first round but much lower
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absolutely crushing thank u greg
jo was actually injured so much holy shit bro has never played a full season. the closest he got was 81 games in 18-19
apparently there was some buzz about a drouin-iginla trade in 2015 between tampa and colorado??? what couldve been damn
ALL THIS TO SAY nate believed in him and jo believed in nate and it paid off so freaking hard last season and jo has his love for hockey back and nate had his career best personal season next to him and they are it if u think about it
f-ing into the rpf:
i know you didnt ask but i would be remiss if i didnt share these, they're currently what i would say is quintessential natejo reading
I don't believe in soulmates (but nobody saw me like you) by shade_of_blue (@shade-of-drou) (M, 6k) soulmates au where jo realises dewey has soulbond sickness
those who favor fire by bruinss (@droumack) (M, 14k) absoloutely crushing magical realism fic where jo's heart freezes the more he falls in love. it is actually unfathomable how much nate loves him, and how much nate loves jo
got my finger on her trigger by creamsicle_melt (@creamsiclemelt) (E, 6k) lesbian natejo nate fucks jo within an inch of her life absolutely fantastic peice of literature.
you'd have to stop the world by bladeless_knife (@mi-kko-ran-tanen) (M, 12k) nate is stuck in a timeloop watching jo get hurt no matter what he does. genuinely incredible theyre so so very much natejo here and also very nate and very jo
Gather by plethoriall (@plethoriall) (E, 4k) once again, another fic where theyre so very natejo. like that interview linked in the very first bullet point? those guys ("yeah we're dumb and dumber") def did this. a delightful study in what if our codependant homoerotic teenage friendship turned into a regular healthy adult friendship except every time you touch me i remember how we used to jerk eachother off which (thankfully for everyone inolved) turned into Yay sex and also i love you. instead of turning toxic.
all very very very good writers i would highly highly suggest checking out their other works as well + commenting and kudoing
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mammoth-clangen · 8 months ago
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Do you like Clangen and Sabertoothed cats? Great, me too!
My name is Pav and this is my clangen blog! <Start reading here>
Important Things
🧓 Im a '99 bby so please don't DM if you're a minor (actually would prefer no unexpected DMs period tbh, im anxious)
⛏️ I work 12hrs 7 days, week on/week off, meaning I will completely vanish 50% of the time and there's nothing I can do about it
🦘 I'm also an Aussie, so my time zone is weird even when I'm not at work (So if I don't reply, im not ignoring u! ;v;-b )
❔️Asks and Anons are turned on! Please read the FAQ below before asking to avoid repeats c:
😻 I read all the tags and replies even if I don't reply. Tysm everyone saying nice things, it makes my day ;v;
😵‍💫 My focus changes like the weather lately, so while I'm Hoping I'll be able to keep this up, please don't get Life Or Death Invested c':
Tags
#mammothmoon -all chapters are tagged with this
#moon (1/2/3/etc) -each moon is tagged by number, and in-character asks from given moons
#mammothask -asks sent to me (will also tag who asks them)
#mammothfanart -art of my silly sabercats by other blogs, tysm!
#mammothref -character references (or possibly species refs if i make them eventually)
#paleo stuff -anything where I'm nerding about paleo biology etc
#ooc/#Pav chatter -Pav updates about Pav! or asks directed to me
#blood/gore/animal death/etc -tagged straight as is if you need to block them!
FAQ
This will be added to as I get more asks and replies to go off!
How often do you post pages?
I try for at least once every 2 weeks, as I spend 50% of my life in the outback with no ability to draw!
Where/ when is Mammothclan set?
In late pleistocene North America, around 12ka ago, during the Younger Dryas!
What species are the cats?
They're Homotherium serum, a scimitar toothed cat.
How paleo accurate is this setting?
Relatively accurate? There's not going to be any species out of their time and place, but I'm not super bothered by, say, exact plant species and how realistic certain story aspects are.
Can I ask the characters' questions?
You can, but I can't promise to answer all of them!
Are we allowed to include characters as cameos/ draw fanart?
Yes definitely absolutely!!!!
You are also welcome to change them to regular cats if that fits better cx (please don't humanise them though, I find that specifically very uncanny)
What mode are you playing on Clangen/ what toggles?
Expanded mode, mass extinctions on, cheating on, "pregnancy ignores biology" off, unknown second parent pregnancies off (bc in my trial run every queen was constantly spawning kittens at lightspeed, no ty)
How far ahead are you from the pages you've drawn?
Currently 40moons ahead, cause I like playing the long game with foreshadowing >:3c
Where do you download Clangen?
Here!
Could you elaborate on/ explain content of (page/panel/speech bubble) that confused me?
Sure! If something is unclear, but it seems like it should be explained, please ask and I'll make sure to clarify c:
Can you tell me about (character backstory/spoilers/ aspect of lore not touched on in comic yet)?
No! I don't want to spoil those kinds of things, I'd rather they come up naturally in the comic than dump them under an ask.
I'm a firm believer that if it doesn't happen in text, it's not cannon.
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nightcolorz · 21 days ago
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i genuinely don't get why yall don't understand that some people don't like a character who's violently antiblack and directed a lynching. some people think lestat is not as bad because while he's also racist, his involvement in the trial was murkier and they heavily implied that lestat was there against his will. + at this point in the story lestat is more remorseful while armand tried to manipulate louis even when daniel exposed him. also just so you know lestat in the show is 34, not 37 lmfao
I thought u were talking about Santiago bcus he’s the racist guy who orchestrated the trial for like the first half of this and I was like why is this guy sending me this ask I don’t ever talk about Santiago nor do I even like him and then I realized that u were hallucinating a version of iwtv I didn’t see, so like, alrighty. There r so many reasons to hate Armand he’s like the most fucked up character in the series and bro chose “violent anti blackness” bcus apparently “Lestat is less racist than him” ?? Ur extremely stupid and I’m laughing.
I am trying to figure out how to argue with this but it’s kind of like arguing with someone who’s hallucinating a giant dragon. Like how can I prove the dragon is not there in a way that would make any sense to you, you are clearly past the point of no return here.
Right, Lestat, the explicitly racist white character who is constantly racist on screen, is less racist and bad then Armand, the brown former slave, because Armand took part in a fantastical vampire murder that was orchestrated by another explicitly racist white character for the stated reason that he was afraid to betray the institution he was forced into hundreds of years ago, because Lestat “was implied to feel bad” or smth. So true. Ur so right, clearly Armand, who didn’t even write the script for the trial, nor decide it’s aesthetic components, and only participated in it because he was going to be ripped to shreds by his coven if he didn’t, actually decided that he wanted the trial to be like a lynching, bcus Armand is extremely familiar with 19th century anti black violence in colonial America, a period he definitely experienced, and he made it like that on purpose bcus he hates black people so much, and he also decided to implement that racism onto the white girl who’s being tortured on stage too, cuz she’s also black to him, I don’t know. Armand may be an equal opportunity violent killer and torturer who shows literally no preference for who he violently kills and attacks, but he definitely hates black people, cuz the one girl he let die that one time at the hands of his theater coworkers was black, so he’s like, violently racist.
When I noticed the lynching allusions in the trial I assumed it was a thematic undertone meant to aesthetically highlight how traumatic this was for Louis, a character who actually has a connection to lynchings and would have narrative reason to frame the events in a way that mirrored one, and not like, meant to convey that Armand is anti black and is trying to recreate a lynching cuz he loves those things. That is an extremely literal and extremely stupid, unfounded way to view that. If anything, it would be implying that the theater is full of racists, which I think aligns more with the actual episode. Believe it or not, shows often have aesthetic allusions that aren’t meant to be extremely literal representations of what is actually happening.
The idea that Armand is anti black bcus he chose to not stop the vampire execution enacted per the vampire laws that he has been forcefully indebted to for over 200 years to persevere his safety in favor of preserving the life of someone he has known for a relatively short amount of time is insane. Like sure, he’s a horrible person, but I think u are vastly misinterpreting his motivations. Armand has been the victim of more racial trauma then literally every single iwtv character, he was an actual slave who was actually tortured and assaulted bcus he was brown. He was victimized since he was a little kid, he literally has never experienced a life at this point that is not survival of the fittest. His decision to fawn instead of fight in the face of the trial was not a reflection of “violent anti blackness”, and the assumption that it was is so incredibly dull and stupid. Also the complete removal of responsibility from the canonically white and racist characters like Santiago and lestat is insane. Trying to frame me as being tone death against racism while insisting that Armand (brown) is actually the racist one and not Santiago or lestat (white) is hilarious. I like Lestat but I don’t like Armand for doing the same things lestat has done bcus!! I’m anti racism!!! 🥰🥰-real anon logic. Like give me a break. If u actually cared at all about the racial themes of iwtv u would recognize that Armand is someone who has been so victimized and abused by racial oppression that he considers it normal and unable to be dismantled, and so refuses to fight against it to survive. He is not the oppressor, you dick head. Like yeah totally, the canonical former child slave is the racial oppressor here, ur so right. If that was meant to be the case, if Armand was actually written as being the primary perpetrator of racism who oppressors the others, that would be some dickhead writing.
Anyways, I actually don’t mind at all nor care if anyone hates Armand. My little post ur referring to was me lightheartedly complaining to my Armand-loving followers that I keep seeing Armand hate advertised to me on my social media and I don’t like having it shown to me, cuz I like him. That’s what I do instead of going into the inboxes or comments of the people I disagree with, bcus I’m mature, btw anon. But u can hate on Armand in ur corner of the internet all u like, it’s literally not that serious. I don’t care if u hate Armand cuz of the trial either, he does bad stuff, like yeah, sure, fair enough. He’s an anti hero in a vampire book series + show, it’s all fun and games here. The only reason I care is bcus why are u bringing it to me, known armand fan. Keep it to urself. Get out of my inbox, stupid troll. And also I’m never getting over Armand’s “violent anti blackness” like please get a life, holy shit.
In conclusion This take is literally insane and u need to actually watch iwtv or talk to a person who doesn’t know what tumblr is so that u can be saved from the actual six stages of hell internet brain rot that ur trapped in, bcus if u took one single step outside of ur rotting cave u would find out that nothing you have ever thought or said has ever made any sense to any normal person.
also 🤓☝️ just so you know! I said Lestat was 37 bcus Sam Reid is 37 in real life, and I thought it was a funny overstatement to describe Lestat as being Sam Reid’s real age. I know he’s fucking 34, but thank you so much for correcting me. You’re so smart. Also! 🤓☝️ if u are going to send me obnoxious anons, say “you” and not “y’all” I am one goddamn person, address me, not the fandom as a whole. We are having a conversation if you come into my inbox, I’m not your puppet-y vessel to vent ur moronic frustrations through. Anyways, die
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ceriiseleceriise · 9 months ago
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Self Care (M)
omega!renjun
wc: 4.8k
synopsis: renjun decides to take on his first heat the best way he knows how, as luxuriously as possible.
cw: smut...a lot of it. in immense detail. sex toys, pornography, multiple orgasms, unrealistic amounts of cum, stomach bulge, male squirting/watersports (depending on what you consider squirt to be lmao), overstimulation, cum eating, dildo sucking, mentions of fictional heat related illnesses, america-centric world building, a bitch with no friends attempting friendly dialogue.
a/n: well here it is! first full fic. believe it or not this was meant to be no longer than 1k, then i realized i get kinda pissed when fics don't include enough context for elements in the fic so i'd be a hypocrite if i didn't paint a likely unnecessarily vivid picture. feedback is much appreciated!
we love u very dearly junnie B💛
❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈ ❈
The sound of the dryer finishing its freshly washed load of delicates interrupted his fifth run through of his checklist. “Ok, let’s see….lube? Check. Waterproof blankets? Check. Three hour long Alpha on Alpha porn playlist? Check.” Renjun finally sighed with relief. It’s not everyday he obsesses over the amount of lube he has in his arsenal (he restocks his eight oz bottle of sliquid sassy every eight weeks on the dot), but it’s a special occasion. The special occasion.
He rebukes the term “late-bloomer”, despite the average age for an omega’s first heat occurring around eighteen. Renjun has always justified his lack of mating cycles with his ever present practicality. “You were absolutely ridiculous for a week straight until your heat broke.” He recalls to Donghyuck during their semi-regularly scheduled facetime catch-up they’ve adopted post grad school.
“I had so much going on freshman year, it would’ve made no sense for me to have to deal with a heat. Twenty-four is a way better age anyways, my prefrontal cortex is like eighty-five percent done, I can actually handle my brain being scrambled eggs for five days”. He says passively, ignoring the unimpressed look coming from the boy on the other side of the phone.
He unfortunately remembers the horrors of hearing Donghyuck’s first heat through their paper mache dorm room walls when they were eighteen, and the next heat three months later, and the next eighteen heats he endured as Donghyuck’s roommate. He’s convinced the boy has had enough heats for the both of them, especially considering Renjun was held solely responsible for ensuring his dear friend didn’t die of hunger or dehydration through them. It's a thankless job, but someone had to do it.
“Right, so I guess twenty-four is also the age where you’re finally gonna finish growing huh? Prime time to finally reach big boy height.” Donghyuck quips back, taking a break from grading assignments to goad the blonde boy giving him a deadpan stare through the phone.
“Bitch you’re literally 5’6 1/2 what are you talking about?” Renjun retorts, “it’s no way you’re calling me short when you just complained about how you cant find shoe lifts in canada.” Donghyuck widens his eyes in shock. “Talking about shoe lifts when you just begged me to ask Doyoung if he could hem those jeans 6 inches shorter is crazy work Renjun.” 
They continue their childlike bickering over their similarly petite frames for an unreasonable amount of time, before Donghyuck remembers the real reason for today’s meeting. “Ok but seriously, how are you feeling about this whole thing? I know it’s kinda a lot at once, be honest with me?” Donghyuck starts. He woke up two days ago to Renjun’s frenzied calls, knowing his friend was well aware that waking hours for him in Atlanta were still Donghyuck’s “dead to the world” hours in Vancouver, he was for certain there was an actual emergency.
Renjun had woken up with a pounding headache, abdominal cramps, and the unsettlingly wet mouth feel that comes right before vomiting. He knew what that meant, but refused to actually confront what was happening until Donghyuck got a look at him and convinced him to go to the omega urgent care. Donghyuck sat on the phone with him while he waited for the doctor, cheered as Renjun got the confirmation he was in pre-heat (much to Renjun’s dismay), and helped him pick the best painkillers to aid his cramps and headache. It was the best he could do from another country, fighting the urge to book a flight to go support his best friend in what’s easily the most important event in an omega's life. His husband only barely managed to convince him it was unnecessary and that they could just send him a nice care package in the mail on expedited shipping, Mark was always the level headed one in the relationship.
Renjun sighed before he could answer. “To keep it one-hundred percent real with you, I’m terrified. Like am I gonna be okay? What if I fuck up somehow and I end up never being able to have kids or something insane? Anything could happen?” Renjun said, ever the worrywort and full of trepidation about new experiences. Donghyuck scoffed, rolling his eyes at the catastrophization of the world’s most natural activity. “Friend, how could you possibly fuck up jerking off? You’ve had a solid twelve years of experience for this, relax!” Renjun shut his eyes and huffed in annoyance, “Obviously that’s not what I’m worried about idiot. I’m worried that I won’t be able to actually satisfy myself through the whole thing, and you know what happens if I can’t be fully satisfied.” Donghyuck sighs in acknowledgement.
Continuous Heating Syndrome, colloquially known as a heat frenzy, is a rare but unfortunate side effect of a heat that goes unsatiated. Nonstop migraines, vomiting, loss of motor function, seizures, or shit...even worse. Donghyuck has heard horror stories of omegas having perfectly normal heats that turn into three week stints at the hospital after they couldn’t break. Scary shit. Rare for all omegas, but increasingly likely for an unmated omega without consistent access to a knot, a category which Renjun unfortunately falls into. “Look at it this way” Donghyuck starts, “It’s not like you have no options at all. You don’t necessarily have to do this alone.” Renjun grimaces. He knows exactly where Donghyuck is going with this, and he’s not even remotely here for it.
 “I’m not calling the heat hotline.” Renjun was scared, not desperate. He had no reason to hire a random Alpha who needed extra money to come fuck him for five days straight, he could figure something else out for sure. “Oh girl please!” Donghyuck exclaims, “That’s literally exactly what you need right now! They’re super strict about testing so you won’t have to worry about that, plus it’s covered by your insurance? What is the issue?” Renjun rolls his eyes, ‘The issue is that you think i’m supposed to just randomly fuck the first alpha who doesn’t look like he snuck on the planet just to stop myself from going into a coma, I have options bitch!” 
Donghyuck scoffs, “Sure you do. Is now the time when Jen and Jae finally jump through the screen of their newest edging scene to keep you company through your heat? Porn only takes you so far, friend.” Renjun hates that Donghyuck knows him well enough to know he’s been anxiously scouring his favorite alpha pornstars’ onlyfans to find some semblance of relief through his rapidly approaching week of agony. “I have toys! So many toys! I don’t need an alpha at all, I have like six different vibrating cocks to choose from” Renjun grumbled. He was a fully self sufficient twenty-four year old omega who doesn’t need an alpha! Or so he continues to force himself to believe.
“If you’re gonna be stubborn about it, the least you can do is be safe.” Donghyuck says, his worried expression softening the defensive stance Renjun has adopted. “You do have someone nearby right? Just in case you need someone to check in on you in person?” “Of course, Yangyang and Chenle are in the building down the street, if I need a restock on anything or if I start overheating and dying I can call them.” Renjun replies, in an attempt to calm his friend from his concerns. “You’re not gonna die girl. Especially since I found the perfect thing to help you out!” Donghyuck beams, giving Renjun his signature “I’ve done something I know you won’t like but I’m smart enough to know it’s what you need" look.
“Is it a dick? Don’t buy me a dick Hyuck I swear to god.” Renjun says, “Is that what you’ve been doing this whole time? Dick shopping instead of feeling sorry for me? I can't believe this.” “If it makes you feel better it’s not a dick, you have so many other ones another would be excessive, even for me. You’re gonna love it though! All those fears of heat frenzy are gonna go right out the window!” Renjun eyes the brunette through the screen suspiciously, Donghyuck’s odd enthusiasm has been the catalyst to multiple cautionary tales Renjun is saving for his grandkids. Now might be the worst time to let his guard down. “I swear to god, if it’s something weird i’m sending it back and getting a restraining order.” Donghyuck giggles in nefarious delight, “It’ll be at your doorstep in two days!” Renjun groans in horror.
Renjun is shaken from his daydream riddled with Donghyuck’s alarming cackles by the sound of the doorbell being rang for the fourth time. “Oh! Coming, coming, so sorry!” He yells out, rushing to the front door to see his instacart delivery driver struggling to hold Renjun’s last minute groceries. The poor guy takes a deep breath and tries not to look nearly as phased as he is by Renjun’s sweet bergamot scent. “I-I wasn’t able to find the caramel pecan cookies, so I got you an extra box of kitchen sink cookies, I hope that’s ok?” The man stutters, clearly fighting the urge to comment on what smells like the sweetest omega he’d ever met. “Oh no worries! Thank you so much, they always go out of stock pretty quick.” Renjun replies, now increasingly aware of the alpha’s growing nervousness and intensified teakwood scent.
He hurries to grab the groceries from the boy and set them on his kitchen counter. “Here you go!” Renjun says, handing over his nice ten percent tip for the guy’s troubles. “T-T-Thank you!” he replies, after making a horribly obvious attempt at trying to inhale as much of Renjun’s residual scent on the ten dollar bill. Renjun awkwardly waves him goodbye, and closes the door of his apartment asking whichever deity that watches over him why he couldn’t have already been mated to avoid having to endure that. The plights of a single omega, he thinks to himself, now rapidly moving towards his kitchen to take final inventory. 
His heat is scheduled to begin sometime tonight, made clear by his overwhelming scent and his unbearable body temperature. He’s already considered turning his air conditioner up higher, but realizing that his poor plants would hate to live in a house that’s fifty-five degrees for a week straight, he suffers in a scantily clad haze. He’s stocked up with seven cases of water, four boxes of cookies, six frozen pizzas, and three family sized bags of chicken nuggets. His poor air-fryer will be working overtime this week, Renjun is fully prepared to only have twenty minutes of energy between heat spikes to keep himself semi-sufficiently nourished. He grabs an armful of waters and sports drinks he’d picked up earlier that week to carry them to his room. He placed them next to the other small snacks he’d put in his mini fridge conveniently sitting next to his nest, there was no way he’d be able to make it to the kitchen after the first few rounds and immediate hydration was a non-negotiable.
Renjun took a moment to be proud of himself. He was a single omega preparing for the most intense and important event of his life. All those incredibly awkward sex-ed lessons he endured in middle school, and the trauma-inducing nights spent handing Donghyuck and Mark bottles of gatorade and fruit snacks while trying to avoid  seeing any genitals had finally led up to this moment. Renjun was fully prepared. Renjun was gonna be okay. 
His doorbell rings again. This time unexpectedly. He opens the door to find another delivery man, this time an omega, Renjun can tell by the soft lavender scent. “Order for Renjun Huang?’ The man asks. Renjun grimaces at the horrifically American butchering of his name, giving a pleasant but unsure smile. “Yes! That’s me” Renjun replies, taking a look at the ominously large box the man is holding. "Great, sign here please” He grumbles, trying to make quick work of what Renjun can only presume is his last delivery of the day. Renjun makes quick work of scribbling his signature on the dotted line, before mumbling a quick thank you and grabbing the box. It’s oddly heavy, which wouldn’t be too concerning, until he took a closer look at the label and read ‘From: Mark and Donghyuck ♡,” in Donghyuck’s messy half cursive half print handwriting.
“Oh dear god” Renjun thinks, now the weight of the box is a genuine cause for concern. He heaves the box to his counter and takes a deep breath before cutting it open. Much to his surprise, it’s all normal nice things. He pulls out a box of the maple cookies Renjun became obsessed with when Mark brought them back a box after returning to campus from his thanksgiving break in Vancouver, the ones Renjun was pissed to find out aren’t available in Atlanta. He sees a stuffed bear and stuffed cheetah wrapped in plastic, Renjun pulls them out to admire the resemblance to his dear friends before he realizes they were both scented like Hyuck and Mark. Renjun could just cry. He felt so loved and cherished by his best friend, how loving and thoughtful Donghyuck always was despite being a smug piece of shit ninety percent of the time. He’s been wanting nothing more than to experience one of their “cuddle puddles”, that while Renjun would always protest, he secretly loved. He pulls out a lovely soft yellow blanket with pretty little ruffles on the ends, perfect to go in his nest for added comfort. Wrapped in the blanket is a little note: 
 “You’re gonna have a great time Junnie! Don’t overthink things, just relax and enjoy the ride! We love you so very much! - Hyuckie and Markie”
Renjun is tearing up, his friends love him so much, he’s gonna be okay! Then he sees another box at the bottom, hidden by the blanket and other gifts before it. He shimmies the black box out of the larger brown one and places it on the counter, now able to get a full look at what the picture on the box is displaying. The tears instantly dry. The feelings of love and admiration are replaced with immediate annoyance.
In a scary showcase of friendship telepathy, his phone rings, lighting up with the picture Donghyuck took of his flared nostrils freshman year. Renjun sighs, then answers the phone. “Why would you buy me a fuck machine?” Renjun stares into the phone, hoping to look as menacing as he can in a hello kitty headband holding his blonde strands from his face. “I see you got our present.” Donghyuck replies, shit eating grin so intense his lips were threatening to split apart. “I told you I had just the thing in mind for your heat girlie!” Renjun huffs with the full intent to call Donghyuck everything but a child of god, but he’s getting hotter and the throbbing between his legs is getting more intense. Tonight he chooses peace. “In seven days you’ll begin to cough” he says, and hangs up the phone to let out a loud exasperated grunt. 
Now the real preparation begins. Renjun walks over to his dryer and pulls out his satin robe he’d freshly washed for the occasion. He makes his way over to his bathroom to begin the most intense shower he’s had since his last failed date with an alpha he met on Wolfr. “Nice dick, horrendous vibes.” Renjun shudders at the memory. “Maybe that’s just how guys from Connecticut are? Connecticut is barely a real place, who cares.” He pauses his internal monologue for a moment to place a vanilla scented shower steamer in the corner of the tub. He lights himself a few overpriced indie candles he got from a small business bazaar in the city, and starts easing himself out of his tiny shorts.
He takes his time pulling the silky fabric of his briefs, gently coaxing his dick out of the fabric. He shudders at the cold air hitting his half-hard cock, sending shivers up his spine and another light stream of slick out of his tip. “Fuck,” He moans softly, entirely too aroused for his own good. He pulls his shirt over his head, shuddering again when the air hits his puffy swollen nipples. He takes the time to get a full look at himself in the full size mirror. “Fuck I’m hot. No wonder that Alpha almost popped his knot earlier,” Renjun smiles to himself confidently.
He makes his way into the shower, taking a deep breath of the warm vanilla scent circling him, meshing wonderfly with his own light citrusy aroma. The hot water of the shower electrifies Renjun’s body, he takes a moment to soak in the amazing feeling of the heat comforting his aching limbs. He starts with his favorite lemon and honey scented body wash to begin carefully massaging his arms and chest with the warm and fruity bubbles.
The sensation of the lather was already driving him crazy, absolutely loving the way his hands gilded seamlessly over his hips and ass. Renjun wasn’t normally the type to be so turned on by his own body, he guesses it’s just the excess hormones making any sight of bare skin immensely arousing. He snaps out of his hormone induced stupor to remember that he has a whole shower routine to get through, so he gives his soft chest a final squeeze, then moves back under the welcoming stream of the water to rinse himself clean. He grabs his body scrub and locks in for the remainder of his shower. 
Renjun emerges in a cloud of sugary citrus air, intoxicating even to himself. He wraps himself in his gold satin robe, and makes his way to his vanity for his finishing touches. Renjun digs through his copious amounts of products to find the expensive body oil he’s been saving for this very occasion. He strips off his robe, and starts massaging the oil into his skin, starting at his legs. Every dip his fingers make into his skin brings him closer to ecstasy. Closer to what he knows is gonna be the most intense feeling of his life. He’s just barely finished rubbing himself down when he starts leaking a new stream of slick from his puckered asshole.
“Oh shit, that must mean it’s about to be time huh?” He figures, moving to wrap his robe around him yet again to avoid his neighbors getting a free show through his open blinds. He draws the curtains, dims the lights, and connects his television to his laptop for an optimized viewing experience. He already has his nightly entertainment pulled up, three hours of Jen and Jae’s best material. Nothing that riles Renjun up more than seeing an alpha take a eleven inch dick like he was made for it.
He settles into the spot he carefully carved into his nest, when he lays his eyes on the pretty yellow blanket Donghyuck sent him in his care package. Then he thinks about what else was present in the care package. He pauses for a second, thinking about how he actually hadn’t even taken the fuck machine out of the box. “Well obviously I didn’t take it out the box, I’m not giving Hyuck the satisfaction of knowing I used a toy he gave me,” Renjun thinks to himself. Then again, it’s not as if Hyuck has to know Renjun used it. Then again, it’s not as if using it could be a bad idea, Renjun considers.
He drags himself out of bed to collect the box from the kitchen counter, setting it down on his bed as he begins to actually open the machine. He definitely recognizes the machine, it’s pretty famous among omega content creators due to its lightweight build and convenient suction cup base to accommodate any dildo the user pleases. He looks over at the extended assortment of toys he’s curated for tonight’s events:  a vibrating fleshlight for his cock and three different dildos in ascending length and thickness for his differing stages of need. Renjun felt his hole flutter with excitement as another gush of slick slid down his thighs.
He thinks about it for a moment, considering how much nicer it'd be if he didn’t have to be responsible for thrusting his toys in and out of his slicked hole. He decides to use the suction cup base of the fuck machine to attach it to the headboard of his bed, checking the height of his placement to ensure it would be the perfect height for him to comfortably get backshots from the toy. If he’s desperate enough for it he, reasons, first choosing to hold off from letting Donghyuck be right about something for as long as possible. With the machine firmly secured, Renjun settles back into his comfy spot in the nest. He takes off his robe, presses play on his laptop, and reaches for his fresh bottle of lube to start massaging his warm cock. 
He’s 10 minutes into watching Jae eat Jen’s ass when Renjun finally has his first orgasm. His little heaves and moans fill the room as he milks himself of his well deserved release. “Ooh…ahh…ahh...fuck!” He shouts, pulling himself further into overstimulation as his vision starts to haze over. He’s laying in a puddle of hot slick, constantly pumping out more and more as he keeps toying with his cock. He’s using his other hand to pump his fingers furiously in his asshole, loving the searing sensation of his hole stretching over his digits. “Mmm fuck...fuck, ooh make him cum Jae” he moans, picturing himself as the pornstars’ third wheel in their bedroom.
He realizes his hands aren’t gonna cut it though, he releases his cock from his vice grip and winces as he pulls his fingers from his ass to grab his fleshlight and the smallest dildo from the pile. “Oh shit,” he hisses, feeling that same intoxicating stretch to the next degree as he tries to slip the seven inch toy deep inside. He needs another large squirt of lube to get the job done, a sign he hasn’t completely gone into heat quite yet, letting his semi-delirious brain know he still has some semblance of self-control.
He pours another squirt of lube directly into the fleshlight, giving it a few pumps with his fingers, and then using those same fingers to pump his cock, before squeezing his drained but solid dick into the tight slippery hole.  He’s fully entranced in the sensations of his body now, leaking so much slick his toy keeps slipping out of his hole. The throbbing between his legs is reaching an ungodly peak, rushing his second orgasm into him like a train. “Ahhhh FUCK,” he screams, feeling the pulse of his prostate send him into overdrive. His cum and slick is pooling at the base of his dick, overflowing the fleshlight and adding to the lewd sounds deafening his ears.
He makes a move to turn up the vibrations on the toy, barely getting a chance to move his hand from the button before the pulse of his third release shakes him to the core. Renjun is completely lost at this point, barely aware of anything around him other than his seemingly never ending fountain of cum and the hypnotic sights and sounds of his favorite muscle bottom getting dicked within an inch of his life. God he wishes that was him taking alpha meat. Then he remembers it totally can be him. He grabs the biggest dick he owns, neglecting any more prep that the fifteen minutes of intense pounding hasn’t provided, and sticks the heavy dildo to the waiting base of the fuck machine.
He positions himself comfortably in front of the plastic cock, taking a moment to admire his mess on his satin sheets. “S-Shit…ohhh fuck,” he hisses as he shoves the toy into his ass. He barely gives himself a moment to adjust before he reaches for the remote to start the lowest thrusting pattern, desperate for the feeling of his hole getting stretched to its limits. Renjun lets out a low groan while the toy picks up speed. He clicks it up to the second level and jolts as the tip of the cock starts hitting his prostate. “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh,” he groans, spilling more slick onto his sheets and sliding into his fourth orgasm, leaving his mind completely broken. He sets his fleshlight to its highest vibration and suction level, and shakes himself into another release.
If he had any ability to think critically he would be concerned for the amount of fluid leaking into his mattress, considering he’d completely forgotten to lay down the waterproof blankets he was so intent would save him a massive cleaning bill, especially since the cock in his ass causes another surge of slick to shoot from his hole. Nearing delirium, Renjun decides the dual stimulation still isn’t enough. He wants even more, he needs even more.
The smell of his slick and cum is intoxicating, leaving his brain just as fried as the underpaid alpha that nearly sprung a leak at his door earlier. He grabs the smaller dildo that he used to work his ass open at the start of his playtime, and gave it a slow lick from the balls to the tip. Tasting himself on the toy made his next orgasm even harder, sucking the head of the dildo like it was an actual alpha. Throating the cock to it’s hilt like Jae himself was fucking his throat. Renjun was officially in heat, too spent to think, and too horny to care. 
With the last bit of his reflexes he has left, he manages to switch the fuck machine to it’s highest setting, and prepares himself for the ride of his life. “Ohhhhh Shit! Oh Shit! Fuckkkkkk,” he stutters, forming the last coherent phrases he’ll be saying for a while. His head is absolutely pounding, reality is bending, and all he knows is fact are the loud moans he and Jen are churning out along with the surge of energy rushing through his ass and cock. “Ahh oh my god, oh my god,” he screams, ushering himself into otherworldly realms of pleasure.
His cock is being milked to extremes he didn’t know were possible, the pumping motions of the fleshlight sending streams of cum all over his balls and thighs from where the toy could no longer hold his load. He groans as the cock in his ass pounds into his prostate, sending him further into the orgasmic spiral he has no intention of leaving. He’s coming down from his tenth orgasm when he finally decided to give his dick a break, pulling the toy milking him for the last two hours off his cock and throwing it to the side, in the interest of laying face down ass up, fully submitting to the plastic cock he’s worshiping with every fiber of his being.
He can barely make any sounds other than small gurgles when he starts craving his own musk again, grabbing the fleshlight and sticking his tongue as deep as he can into the sopping wet hole, basking in the scent of his pleasure. He slurps up his essence as he feels his ass getting tighter, the dildo seemingly rutting rougher and rougher to break through his grip. He slides himself back even further on the toy, taking all eleven inches impossibly deep, crying out at the feeling of his stomach bulging from the cock mixing up his guts. Renjun is lost in the vortex of his heat, unable to do anything but scream in pleasure in between licking his fleshlight like it’s a real asshole, when he feels it.
His eyes go wide, his ass locks up around the plastic knot completely, the overwhelming pleasure forcing his body to mate with the cock rearranging him. The toy stops moving in and out, too suffocated by Renjuns slick walls to complete a full cycle of motion, instead sending deep thuds of pressure directly on his prostate. His eyes start rolling back as his body starts convulsing, unable to control his movements. His loud moans turn to deafening screams when a long stream of clear liquid shoots from his cock. He cries out in pleasure as he lets out endless gushes of liquid, soaking through whatever parts of his mattress weren’t already sticky with slick. His voice starts to taper off into quieter whines, soon after, Renjun’s vision goes black. 
Renjun wakes up thirty minutes later, slightly less attached to the toy. Its batteries must’ve died sometime between him squirting and passing out, but Renjun has little recollection of anything that occurred once his first heat spike hit. He hears the faint sound of his pornstars giving each other aftercare from what must’ve been a similarly intense scene in the background, figuring he should follow in Jen’s footsteps and have a bottle of water.
He rolls over in his nest, taking in the absolutely ruined state of his bed, along with the extremely satisfied feeling in his body. “Woah,” he thinks, “I gotta get Hyuck a Waffle House gift card or something.”
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mortiflyer · 3 months ago
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Let me arcanepost for a little about cait's character trajectory because I think it's interesting what the show is doing with her...u can scroll if you follow me about tennis LOL
In season one, she was a majorly idealistic cop who genuinely believed she could be "the one" to change the system from the inside. This is a misguided but common perspective that's seen a lot online and irl from people who don't know how systemic oppression works, but it's good as a character beat because she's...wrong. She has to change, and we have to trust that she will for narrative purposes. It just appears that some of the audience didn't know whether she would swing fully to the radical side or to the dictator-cop side, and assumed she would do the former instead of the latter.
A lot of people seemed to like her more in the beginning of the first season because she was "nicer", but she also had less layers because the writers were still building the blocks of her character. Later in the season, after meeting vi and seeing how the enforcers treat the zaunites, she begins to understand the depths of their troubles, but still doesn't reach total comprehension because of her station and job. This is still good!! for character development!! Because knowing that shit gets bad is still different from knowing how bad it is
Then, transitioning from s1 to s2, her mom dies as the result of revolutionary violence. But cait's (justified!) grief leads her completely down the dark path that allows her to be corrupted by ambessa, proving, just like irl, that one person is not the solution. You don't change the system, it changes you. Cait isn't evil for being blinded by grief, but she lets that blindness validate her worst actions, which definitely are evil. It's understandable to not want to see your faves "change for the worse", but it's also important to think about if that change actually occurred or if it was just a step away from what they were in the first place.
Piltover, much like modern-day America, is a wealthy nation sheltered from its own poor inhabitants by an aggressively militarized police force. Cait becoming the head of that is indicative not of the idea that she is irredeemable as a character within the confines of this story, but that we cannot be active participants of the system running the machine and still support the freedom of the downtrodden lower class.
...Or something
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filmbyjy · 2 years ago
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hi its me, the one who asked u for the exam prep fic w jay.
i want some angst. Its because im going through that rn. HE FELL FIRST BUT SHE FELL HARDER, where jay gives up on their "friendship" because the reader was too busy denying her feelings for him. (u can end it w some fluff if u want heh) Doesnt necessarily havw to be with jay btw any member from enhypen u think fits best for this works.
its alright if u dont want to!!
a/n: oh hi anon☺️ oh my god but this request phew😮‍💨 prepare the tissues bc I feel like i’m gonna make this too angsty. of course, i’m gonna end it off on a good note. my heart can’t handle not getting a happy ending.
pairing: park jongseong x fem!reader
genre: angst but fluff towards the end
warning: talks about cutting/self-harm and depression (do proceed with caution). mentions of dead parents. I believe I made this too angsty so i am sorry. you do end up with jay though so that’s the good part. i did also change up a bit bc i believe that i have triggered someone with jake like ‘slut-shaming’ you. i am so sorry for that part.
word count: 1.5K words
taglist[perm]: @ja4hyvn @ahnneyong @milklix @kar0ki @sugarsunoo
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our friendship
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10 years of friendship.
down the drain just like that. all because of your selfishness. you couldn’t forget the way jay’s hands trembled as he voices out his feelings.
you felt like the villain for not believing him. denying your own feelings for him. you couldn’t love him. it was impossible, not when jay was for someone else. you couldn’t provide him with the affection he deserves. you were a broken record.
“why did you hurt him?” sunghoon asks.
— placing this in case the read more messes up —
“i didn’t mean to.” you nonchalantly say. the boy sighs.
“i know you didn’t mean to but I know you’re just hurting yourself too.”
“i’m not hurting myself.”
“when was the last time you ate properly?”
you kept quiet. jay usually made sure you ate on time, even if you didn’t have enough money, he made sure to buy you a meal. your life wasn’t the best. your dad did drugs and was absent most of your life. your mom ran off with a foreigner. you were left alone to fend for yourself. no family member to care for you. you matured quicker than most kids because of that.
sunghoon places a carton of milk. your favourite. one that jay usually buys for you.
“take this. you haven’t had lunch.”
“it’s alright. I don’t like this flavour.” you lied.
“that’s a lie. both jake and I have seen you happily drinking it after jay places it on your desk.”
“well, i stopped liking it.”
“after jay left.”
“well, he left for a reason.”
“because he was heartbroken.”
“his mom wanted him to study in america. that’s his real reason.”
“he would’ve stayed for you, (name).”
“i don’t want to hold him back, sunghoon.” you glared at the boy. sunghoon sighs.
“you aren’t holding him back, he just loves you.”
“well, i don’t love him!”
“stop being in denial. you love him just much as he loves you. actually no, you love him way more than he could love you.”
“you’re bullshitting, sunghoon.”
“you’re going to regret saying this (name).”
you left sunghoon. you didn’t want to hear what he was saying because if you stopped denying, you’d hurt yourself. falling in love with your best friend was something scary. falling hard for your best friend was the worst.
it had been years since you graduated from high school. you haven’t heard much from sunghoon, jake or even jay. you had fell out of that friendship ever since the talk. for some odd reason, your old classmates had organised this get together since it had been a while. you were not preparing yourself to meet your friends from high school.
“(name).” heeseung yells out. you gave him a little smile.
“class president.” you say. he chuckles.
“it was for 1 term, (name).”
“you were still our class president.”
“the best one.” jake slings his arm around heeseung. heeseung groans as he attempts to push jake’s arms off.
“it’s been a while, (name).” jake says. his voice laces with venom which wasn’t how he was normally and how he was back then. you nearly wince at how his tone sounded.
you could feel a shiver creep up and you were actually scared of jake.
“uh, yes. i-it’s been a while.” you say. afraid of saying something wrong to get jake angry. honestly, he had a very good reason to get mad at you. you hurt jay. one of the first few people jake cared about.
after you hurt jay, jake had followed jay to America. where they both continued their studies to together. sunghoon visited them and eventually moved there a little to spend time and possibly study there too. eventually, all of them moved back here to continue college since they missed Seoul.
seeing jake in a long while, you realised you missed him and the friendship the both of you had. jake was sort of like a brother to you. he was the closest to you but of course he clearly chose jay. you wanted to walk away but jake grabs on your wrist. heeseung leaves, he could feel the heavy tension.
“I see you’re happy with how your life turned out.”
“what?”
“cut that bullshit. iseul told us. you go to parties and have fun as if you didn’t do anything wrong! it’s disgusting, after you hurt your own best friend’s feelings?”
“jaeyun-”
“don’t call me that. we aren’t friends anymore.”
it fell silent between the both of you, the sound of EDM playing in the background. tears prickling at your eyes. someone comes to pull jake off you. you knew that familiar cologne.
“jake, you shouldn’t fight here. just leave her alone.” jay says.
“she hurt you, jay. how could you just ignore that? she’s been living her life happily while you cried everyday back in America.”
“don’t.” jake shoves jay’s arm and walks away. jay turns to you. he attempts to touch your wrist but you moved back.
“(name).” the way he says your name was perfect. it felt right but you shouldn’t.
you shook your head. tears falling down.
“jay, please.”
his eyes caught sight of slashing marks. they seem pretty recent. he knows you were never one to harm yourself but what exactly happened?
you left the place that day. it was when you started to really close off. you see, after jay left. a whole series of bad luck just dumped onto you. your dad got into car accident and died on impact. your mom was diagnosed with cancer and she died months later. you were left alone having to work hard to earn your own money.
you could feel the burden of living alone just pile over you and you couldn’t take it anymore. everything was overwhelming. too overwhelming. even the feeling of pain wasn’t as immense as the burden you felt. which was why you started self-harming yourself. you loved the feeling of the blade cutting your skin, it was numbing.
“(name), could you please tell me the answer?” the lecturer asks as you were daydreaming. you easily answered and the lecturer hums.
the bell rings soon after and students start pouring out of the class. you tugged onto your hoodie arms, hoping the hide the latest cut. it was itchy and it started bleeding again when you went to pick on it. you simply placed a bandaid over it.
you were packing your things when you felt a tap on your shoulder. you looked up.
“hi.” sunghoon says. you looked away, you couldn’t let him see you like this. you shouldn’t associate yourself with your old friend group. you walked away quick but sunghoon was fast. curse his long legs.
“(name).” he stops you and pulls back your hood. that’s when he realises the bloodshot look you had. he gasps a little.
“what happened to you?”
“didn’t sleep.”
“you look like you got hit by a truck.” he winced.
“maybe I did. what’s your problem?”
“look about what happened that day with jake at the reunion…”
“I forgive him. I deserve it after all.” you walked away but sunghoon tries to catch up to you.
“yeah but that doesn’t account for what he did to you.”
“he didn’t punch me. he just talked to me.”
“(name).”
“please, sunghoon. i don’t want to live in a world with guilt. I’ve already hurt jay enough and I don’t want to hurt jake too.”
“yeah but like I’ve said a long time ago. you’re hurting yourself too. I heard that you rarely ever go out besides actually spending time in school. you’ve gone from a social butterfly to an introvert.”
“what’s wrong with being an introvert.”
“it’s just not who you are (name).”
“so what if I am not who I was. people change sunghoon. i think it’s best if I stayed away from jay. we should have never cross paths.”
“but you like him.”
“yeah, I do. what will happen? hmm? jay doesn’t like me anymore, I know it. he’s probably already dating someone hot. someone that suits him. someone who isn’t me.”
“you are someone that suits me, (name).” jay voices out. you shook your head and turned around to jay.
“I am not right for you. you wouldn’t want an emotionally and mentally broken girl. I already lost my parents, I don’t want to lose anything anymore.”
“your parents are gone?”
“they’re dead. it’s been a year or two. after i graduated from high school…”
“(name).”
“jay, i’m sorry I didn’t tell you about my feelings but it’s too late. i am too broken.”
“you know I wouldn’t care if you’re too broken. I would’ve held you tight and cared for you.”
“jay, I just think we were on different levels. you were someone popular, smart and good looking. i’m just whatever this is.”
“I never cared about the stereotype. I loved you for who you were.”
“love is a strong word to describe how you’re feel about me.” you say. jay holds you close.
“but I do love you.”
“you wouldn’t understand, how much I feel for you.”
“then show me.”
“I can’t. not in public, where sunghoon and jake are staring at us.”
jake rolls his eyes, “go ahead and kiss. this idiot has been rooting for the both of you since high school.” he smacks sunghoon.
“what’s so wrong for hoping they’d get together. I thought they fit each other.” sunghoon glares at jake.
jay pecks your forehead, “we’ll take this slow until you feel better, hmm?”
and he did make you feel better.
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cdragons · 10 months ago
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Hey! I miss interacting with u, hope you are doing well :)
What is the song that will most describe farleighs and y/ns friendship?
Hey! This is really sweet, anon! THank you! I'm doing great, I have a ton of exams and projects with school that are kind of kicking my butt rn, but today's my birthday so I am excited to share that with my family!
This is a really tough one, mostly because I never expected this friendship to be so popular with everyone. Although I shouldn't be surprised because Farleigh Start was actually so superior in the movie.
Personally, I think these songs really fit them
Gimme More by Brittany Spears
Bad Girls by M.I.A
That's My Girl by Fifth Harmony (also works for Annabel and Y/N)
So What by P!nk
Is You or Is You Ain't My Baby by Louis Jordan and His Tympany Five (look up Marvelous Mrs. Maisel with this song and TELL me that this won't be the most amazing duet with the pair)
Let me know in the comments of your opnions!
I feel like this is a good opportunity to give off some headcanons to describe the vibes I get from Fareligh and Y/n! There are also just my personal headcanons of Farleigh and his story in my AU! I made up these with the help of my internet soulmate @ethereal-athalia!
Here are some headcanons of my personal take of Farleigh's backstory in my AU and in general:
Is it weird if I can see Fareligh coming from New Orleans, Louisiana? Because I can absolutely see him giving off those vibes. He would fit PERFECTLY as a New Yorker, but I can't help but feel he would thrive in the Crescent City.
Farleigh really misses the States, and a big part of the reason he parties so much is to forget how homesick he is. I find it very odd that we are given this extremely intelligent character who would no doubt thrive in an Ivy League like Yale, Harvard, or Brown, but he's stuck in England. James definitely could have just paid for his education there, so why send him to England? Furthermore, why does James cover him up so much? Is it really just because he's family?
Remember when Felix told Oliver that Farleigh got kicked out of every school in England bc he "sucked the teachers off"? First off, ew. Secondly, sure, Farleigh is a bit of a hedonist, but all of his behavior just kind of screams to me that he's really and genuinely unhappy in England and wants to go back. That might be a reason why he was so reluctant for Felix to get close to Y/N since Chapter 1 of 'Fuck Everything.'
Furthermore, it really bothers me how nonchalant Felix is about telling Oliver that piece of information. Even if he knows that Farleigh wouldn't really care, that is still very private information about a young boy who was taken advantage of by teachers who were in a position that allowed them to abuse their power.
Also, for a film that exposes so much about its characters, we really don't know a lot about Farleigh Start and his story, specifically his family in the States.
The part where Farleigh's mom is terrible with money and constantly needs handouts from her brother, James, is very realistic - that part, I believe. But I feel like there is a lot missing with his dad.
Was his dad actually as brutish and abusive as Felix said to Oliver? Personally, I don't really see it. Even at first glance, the way Farleigh carries himself is leagues different from the rest of the Cattons. He's observant and takes in details. He uses all this information as a weapon for any opponent he goes up against.
In my opinion, I could absolutely see Farleigh's dad being a completely normal and decent person with a job as a librarian or English professor. This idea is mostly stemmed from when Fareligh made the 'thus' argument against Oliver's essay at the beginning of the movie, and this seems like something Farleigh knows as if being explained about it from a very early age.
The reason I think his father is ill-portrayed is because I feel like Farleigh's mother met him while she was in America and was intrigued by his unassuming self and married him. But then she got bored because she wasn't living the high and expensive life she was living in England with her family.
Eventually, she got bored and decided to use Farleigh as an excuse to get money from James. Farleigh's dad might have wanted custody of his son but was threatened by his ex-wife that he would never see his son again.
Farleigh is aware of his mother's toxic tendencies, but she's his mother and he loves her anyway. He know she's leeching off of him to get to her brother. But what are his other options? Let her fend for herself?
This is probably so far-fetched and a huge reach, but the Cattons are portrayed as people who love to feed off their own sense of entitlement over others by showing of 'generous' and 'charitable' they are to take of other people. When anything bad happens to them, they wear it like a trophy. Maybe that's what happened with Farleigh?
NOW! Onto Farleigh and Reader (also ft. Michael Gavey bc he's bb):
Being around Y/N is like being at home for the first time in forever (cue Frozen song) for Farleigh. When they start talking, Y/N is extremely skeptical of his intentions because she thinks that he's just trying to help out Felix. But nope! He just wants a genuine friend.
Y/N makes it clear to Farleigh from the beginning that if he wants to be friends with her, he needs to be friends with Michael. Michael Gavey and Y/N L/N are a package deal. You want one? You get the other.
Farleigh keeps his friendship with Reader a secret from Felix and is helped by Annabel (our girl got a taste of true kindness, sees Felix Catton for the leech he is, and is now part of the Y/N protection club)
With Y/N, he doesn't feel the need to party or drink until he gets alcohol poisoning to have a good time. He learns to have quiet nights doing homework or playing stupid board games with made-up rules.
Michael and Y/N introduce him to DnD, and he's the classic Bard player who rolls for charisma and ends up f*cking his party out of danger every time. Michael is a paladin, and Y/N is a monk, in case you were wondering.
Y/N sometimes uses Farleigh to model for some of her portraits. She learns to appreciate him because she and Michael do need to be reminded sometimes that it's okay to cut loose at times and that spreading their wings won't kill them.
Y/N and Farleigh definitely geek out over art history and literature (symbolism, plot holes, motifs, etc.) and are BIG soul and blues fans. When they all hang out in Y/N's dorm, they will be listening to James Brown, Ella Fitzgerald, and Ray Charles till dawn.
Y/N is someone whom Farleigh can have actual mind-stimulating conversations with in a manner that's respectful but also wildly entertaining. They will discuss everything from rousing debates about politics and current events to philosophical queries about the omegaverse and mpreg.
Michael pretended he wasn't a fan until they caught him singing along to 'Hit the Road Jack' and they never let him forget it.
Also, Farleigh is a MAJOR Michael Gavey x Y/N fan. He wants them to get together SO BADLY! But he won't do this in a productive/uncomplicated way. Nonononono, he plans to make the most convoluted, dramatic, and needlessly complicated schemes to get these two nerds together for his own amusement. *Nudge* *Nudge* *Wink* *Wink*
Real talk though, Fareligh genuinely loves Y/N and her presence as a friend. He has all these expectations placed on him and fake friends who only want to be around him for his cousins. To be around someone who not only misses home like him but also truly appreciates him as an individual and not as a commodity for networking means the world to him.
If Y/N ever does go to Saltburn for the summer (*foreshadowing*), Farleigh will do everything in his power to make sure she won't get sucked into his relatives' fake and shallow schemes.
Also, as a bonus, he loves ranting and trash-talking Oliver with Y/N and Michael. It's like free therapy with better snacks because Michael always brings candy.
These are all the ones I can think of for now, but let me more in the comments or in my ask box if you want more! It really means so much that you guys love this AU so much!
Let me know if you want to be tagged in the comments for future Saltburn AU stuff!
"Fuck Everything, But Mostly Fuck You" Masterlist
Tagging: @ethereal-athalia, @arcielee, @valeskafics, @asa-do-your-thing, @aphroditesmoon, @axelsagewrites, @the1999kid, @poolnoodlerescuer, @aemondsbabe, @@winterblu2, @abaker74, @whereismymindnow, @agustdeeyaa, @iamavailablesstuff, @bonnieblue0606, @st-eve-barnes, @@nyxthoughtss, @immyowndefender, @@ilovemydinoboi, @ahristata, @cxp1d, @jinsoulorbitzen12, @temptation-waits, @bollzinurmouth, @jcngw0ns, @seababehh, @destinydestnation, @lankyboi4, @mindless-rock, @cassavacake, @paradisepoison, @@pansexualpamandabear, @erikasurfer, @@lissamans, @cookielovesbook-akie, @thesmutconnoisseur, @izzyisstuff, @lariisouz, @mioshasworld, @themorriganisamonster, @bre99, @babypinkditto
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hetalia-club · 2 years ago
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Breaking down America's raw power
I think the best way I can describe how I see Alfred's strength is that of a Mantis Shrimp. Like imagine how strong a Mantis shrimp is but in human size. Never heard of Mantis shrimp? Let me lay it out for you. A mantis Shrimp can throw a punch at 50 miles an hour and when it swings its hand the kinetic force around it makes the water so hot that it boils. The average Mantis shrimp can punch with a force of being hit with 340 lbs of force. Just in one tiny little claw. and that is the average shrimp not one that is seasoned and has been at it awhile the big ones can get u to 1 ft long and the bigger they get the stronger they get. If their punch happens to form a bubble underwater when the bubble pops it is as hot a the surface of the sun. If a human gets punched by one apparently it feels like being shot by a .22. They can easily fracture human bones. People do keep them as pets but they don't make that great of pets because they can shatter aquarium glass.
Now I don't feel like Alfred utilizes this strength very often but that being said I do fully believe he has the strength to punch a hole through someone's chest if he wanted to.
Let's just sort of break it down a little.
Alfred First Discovery:
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Has the ability with little to no effort to pick up a full grown bull bison and swing it over its head.
The weight of an average bull bison is 2000 lbs.
Alfred 1940's:
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Drug around England car with a single hand for over an hour because he simply wanted to drive it. Again this looks like a Ford model A of some kind and the typical weight for that kind of car in this time period was about 2,500 lbs. Mind you when America finally found England he was not out of breath or even sweating. This was just a regular Tuesday for him.
I think it is just something the Hetalia fandom doesn't really play off of much and everyone just kind of forgets that America is basically a superhero when it comes to strength. I think of him as having One Punch man level strength where he can be as strong as he needs to be for parody's sake.
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I have this theory that the reason that the cold war happened (I am talking Hetalia here not IRL) Is simply because America and Russia were bored. Because I firmly believe America is not alone in having this massive strength though his might be the most intense. I believe Russia has it as well.
We never 'see' it on screen we do get to hear about it from other nations and when Russia was late to a meeting he did tell America that he "Got a raw deal, I had to stop tanks with my bare hands" Everyone was surprised except except America who just said. "Dude that's sick". He wasn't impressed or afraid by it and simply was like "That's a cool way to spend the afternoon". Then in the same instance when they were acting like they were going to get in an actual fight both France and England had to separate then both seeming extremely concerned while doing so like they were trying to prevent a DBZ style fight.
The cold war was just trying to get the two of them not to get into a fist fight because everyone else was afraid what would happen if they did.
There are a couple others who are rumored to have this strength Sweden being one of them. I think Finland said there were a couple more but I can't remember who. Himaruya said before that Italy is extremely powerful but doesn't often show it because he's a 'coward' Now if we think about it, it would be true based on history. He has beaten a lot of powerful nations by himself. Turkey, Spain, Austria, Empire, France, His brother, Hungary-Austria and many others. Italy has historically won more wars than they have lost by a land slide. Epically after they were unified. They were damn near untouchable after that. In fact Italy has lost very few wars and a lot of wars they have fought have ended in a forfeit which there is nothing wrong with understanding when you've lost and throwing in the towel. It's stupider to keep fighting when you're continuing to lose.
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People seem to think that the UK follows America into battle whenever they go but that's simply not the case if you look up American wars you will see a little green, white and red flag with us even when the UK and Canadian flag isn't there.
I know I'm rambling but I fully believe what I'm saying is true. Maybe starting my HFC poll is sparking it in me thinking just how strong they would actually be.
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