#it actually got to be pretty fun deciding what should go where
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victorluvsalice · 2 years ago
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Hello, and welcome to this two-part building update from the Chill Save, entitled “Valicer Haunted Farmhouse Makeover!” Yes, after realizing the gang had some cash, I decided to take a playsession or two and make some upgrades to their farmhouse, and these are the results! Took me a while to get everything the way I wanted (and to get the game to behave itself -- lights kept turning off every time I tried to place things on the wall in the barn first time I tried this), and I’m probably still gonna shuffle some stuff around as time goes on, but right now, it’s looking pretty good, I think. :) This post focuses on the downstairs  and the grounds, so let me take you through the changes --
-->Well, first off, I’m sure you’ve noticed all the pet obstacle course stuff tucked into the corner there. ;) Yup, one of my intended goals with this family was to get them some pets (a cat and a dog specifically), so I figured while I was making the house nicer that I could put in all the pet stuff. Downstairs, we have the obstacle course in the front yard; a litter box, natural branch scratching post, outdoor toy bin, and cat teaser on the front porch; a more traditional scratching post and an indoor toy bin (with toys) in the first floor main hall; and automatic pet feeders in the kitchen, complete with mats. :) The pets have not been acquired yet, but you’ll meet our candidates next update.
-->Another major addition -- rugs! I kept meaning to put them down, so I made sure to slap them in now. The downstairs landing has a nice big slightly-worn rug for Sims to cosy their feet on, and the creative study has a rug for everything you can do in there (Alice always had her painter’s tarp rug, but I added a Selvadorada rug under the chess table as that’s where Victor and Alice’s Selvadoradan honeymoon pictures hang, a Granite Falls rug under Smiler’s guitar as that’s where all THOSE vacation photos are, and a standard blue rug under Victor’s piano just because). There are even more rugs upstairs, I assure you!
-->Other decorative changes include moving the egg collection from the last couple of Egg Days to a shelf (from the “Cottage Garden Stuff” fan pack by @plumbobteasociety) that could fit all of them and putting them in a different spot; swapping out one of the MySims statues on the fireplace mantle in the living room -- Alice’s new Elmira Clamp one looked like it belonged near the bookcases, so I put the Hoppy one upstairs in Smiler’s room; updated the “house” shelf Alice’s Simmie from the Festival of Snow sits in so it stands out a bit more; and adding some new pictures and the aprons to the kitchen, along with some pet treats. . .which involved me actually making the whole kitchen one tile longer so I could put in another counter to fit them. XD I suppose I could get rid of the microwave, they don’t really use it, but. . .eh. XD Oh, and I put the special “gives you money” trash bin in the kitchen -- dunno how often it’ll be used, but hey, a few extra simoleons just from cleaning up never hurt!
-->I also made over all the bathrooms! The downstairs bathroom now has a nicer toilet (from Tiny Living, if I recall correctly), plus a better pedestal sink and one of Alice’s most recent paintings on the wall for color. (No, I don’t know WHY the downstairs bathroom is The Beige Bathroom, it just happened.)
-->Outside, I FINALLY got a system I like going for the greenhouse! We have a couple of cute wheelbarrow decorations out front by the door (both official and CC); the flower-arranging bench, the juice fizzer, and a grill for making herbal potions along one wall; and then the plants themselves. From back to front, we have the “orchard” (most of the regular trees Victor is growing); the “unusual plants and mushrooms” line of planters (magical plants, Granite Falls plants, mushrooms, the Tree of Emotions, and the Plasma tree); a line of flowers (either end), veggies, and fruits, with the beehive in the middle; two planters where things overlapped (like fruits with veggies, or flowers with herbs); and the final row of earth where Victor will EVENTUALLY plant the oversized crops. It WILL happen. (Once everything else reverts from “dirt pile” state -- to be fair, I’m not too pissed, as the plasma fruit tree wasn’t actually producing fruit, so this gives it a chance to reset, and they’ve got plenty of other produce and flowers right at the moment.)
-->And over at the barn, I made a little fenced-in area for the chickens, since I didn’t want them running all over and sundry (I WOULD have used the Werewolves picket-style fence, but for some reason that doesn’t have a matching GATE, so StrangerVille picket it is); put the insect collection on the back wall (missing one certain insect that instead is being kept in the house as a “pet”); moved the robot bench and the fabricator to the wall with the woodworking bench and the candle-making bench; and threw in a cauldron for Victor so he can do some alchemy stuff! Plus some of the Tetris-inspired shelving from Cepzid’s “Arcade Room Stuff” fan-pack to show off Smiler’s frog collection. Mostly because I wanted to keep only the cheap frogs in their inventory for plasma-pack-breeding purposes. :P
Okay, so that’s ground-level pretty well covered -- how about the upstairs?
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eternally-tired-cryptid · 1 year ago
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on one hand I wanna write my fic ideas wherein my marvel oc gets sent to the alternate universe of Gotham and hijinks ensue whilst she tries to survive and get back and the batfam and such slowly learn more info abt her world and how it's being threatened atm and she needs to go back and help and whatnot.
But on the other hand, the readers wouldn't know the marvel related backstory of this OC and would have. No context for her going in
But ALSO then the readers would know abt as much abt this mysterious figure as the batcrew do, and get to learn via flash backs and her slowly revealing info to them as safety allows
Then there's also just a general. Idk if there's any sort of oc etiquette when it comes to writing oc centered fics? My brain goes so hogwild when I read anything that I usually avoid oc fics other people write just bc I usually read and enjoy fics at face value but I also go "now what would happen if this OC was here?" And that gets real complicated when other people's ocs are involved
#jasper rambles#this is a rambly one yall#fanfic discussion#fanfic etiquette?#i just. listen. i made a vampire oc for captain america specifically of the mcu.. and i was thinking and like. gotham is the Perfect City fo#r a vampire to live right. so like. then i was like what would she do if she ended up in gotham. how would that go. and then i could reveal#her marvel backstory thru tidbits she drops and flashbacks. bc i have her mcu timeline pretty well planned out#tho also her existence (along w a few pther ocs) drastically changes the course of the mcu so some things hapen VERY differently (mainly civ#il war and then the start of the following arcs) so like id aalso have to reveal where the canon divergence from the mcu is during the flash#backs. and then ALSO i have a p decent grasp of the batfam and whatnot but i havent had the oppurtunity to read many comics so i dont even.#what if i just FAIL at their characterization and im actually wronf magically#and then ALSO comes the question of should i include my batman dc oc? bc SHES a whole. package. theres a LOT to unpack w her. tho for this s#pecific fic idea i think itd be fun to just. have her be Another Batfam Member. like yeah shes got her own stuff going on. but this fic woul#dnt dive into it anymore than it dives into the other batfam members#the other issue is deciding where in the mcu timeline this oc gets thrown into an au and why and how or if that affects the mcu timeline fro#m there. cuz thatd need to be decided for the sake of flashbacks. and if im gonna ise flashbacks id love to try and plan it out so it aligns#with the plot happening in gotham. i dont necessarily want like. a running Plot in the flashbacks. but id want them to be scenes from her li#fe in mcu that reveaal stuff that helps understand the decisions she makes in the gotham plot#but ALSO in the gotham plot. id wanna have it either be that her presence has caused some sort of ripple that the gotham baddies are using t#o hirt people or else some other unrelated gotham baddies plot is happening and this oc being herself sees trouble and runs towards it to tr#y and help people. even tho she has her own stuff to deal w. and then makes herself a target of the gangs and also potentially screws someth#ings up bc she doesnt have as intimate of knowledge abt the baddies and gangs as the batfam do since most of em grew up in the streets of g#otham one way or another#so like. and like she can hold her own. she was a young woman in brooklyn in the 30/40s. but its still a different environment in gotham rat#her than in brooklyn new york. so itd be. yeah. tbh i feel like the fact that im putting this much thought into it means i will probably try#to write and post it on ao3. idk when tho. im trying not to post more fics on ao3 so i can focus on my xmen fic#sso. anyway if you read all this feel free to share your thoughts and or like. sorry not sorry for the rambly essay of tags <3#i told you jasper rambles
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gay-dorito-dust · 3 months ago
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(Idk if ur rq are open bc I can't find any indication of it being, but I hope it is and if it isn't km sorry and h can just ignore this until they are!!)
Maybeee bat boys x reader who zones out a lot and tends to make faces according to what she's thinking abt. Like a smile or frown. And sometimes when they ask her what's up she's all secretive and what not.
Thank you!!
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I dunno if I did this right but here ya go!
Dick makes a game out of it and tries to guess what you were thinking about.
Even if you don’t tell him why you’re smiling or making a face of thought, he is surprisingly good at being able to figure it out regardless, but for every expression he gets wrong you’d have to give him double the kisses for the ones he gets right to make up for it.
He loves watching your face contort like a ventriloquist through a rapid fire of emotions depending on what your mind has decided to remind you of, and today it was the memory of Hayley in her Halloween costume of Nightwing, just to match with Dick in his Nightwing suit as he prepared to enter the bloodhaven annual Nightwing contest.
Basically a contest where people deduce if anyone had a similar ass shape to Nightwing himself, a contest you find ridiculous but the imagine of Hayley in her Halloween costume was the sweetest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on, that you couldn’t help but smile widely at.
You had albums full of Hayley in her Halloween costume with Dick photobombing in the background.
‘What’s on that pretty little mind of yours sweetheart?’ Dick would often ask.
‘Something silly.’ You’d reply with on the odd occasion as to keep him guessing, finding his attempts fun and only giving him pity kisses when he got a majority of them wrong. He had only got a handful right before but on all the other occasions he’s fails spectacularly.
‘Something silly like the time I lost the nightwing contest to Jason that one time?’ He answers wrongly but you couldn’t help but give him a pity kiss for being somewhat right but wrong simultaneously.
‘Sure darling.’ You’d say as you went back to zoning out on Hayley in her Halloween costume while dick burrows his face into your neck, murmuring about how of all people did Jason won the contest when they look nothing alike before going on about how Jason was a brick shit house in comparison to his muscular yet flexible body.
You’ll have to give him more pity kisses to ease his bruised ego by saying he wins all the Nightwing contests in your eyes. When in reality Hayley wins them all just for the fact of being adorable.
Damian found it weird at first for your face to be expressive, believing that it would make you an easy target for others to take advantage of.
Now however he finds it to be a way of expressing how you actually felt in comparison to the words that escape your mouth. He often discouraged zoning out as it would lead to unfavourable outcomes, but when you zone out and your face becomes soft Damian couldn’t help but find himself looking at you with a soft expression of his own.
‘What are you think about my beloved?’ He’d ask you as he hugs you from behind, resting his head upon your shoulder.
‘Nothing that you would find investing my love.’ You replied softly as the fond smile on your face grew the more you thought about the one time Damian chased Titus throughout the mansion because the Great Dane has somehow stole his robin suit and wouldn’t let go.
Damian kisses your shoulder. ‘Are you sure it’s not something I should be concerned about?’ He’d then ask.
You smile softly. ‘Not at all dami, just a funny thought is all.’ You told him while moving your head to kiss his forehead as though to calm his own thoughts. He hums, not believing you for a second from the mischievous glint in your eyes but was more than willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, just because he adored you so much.
‘As you wish my treasure.’ Your thoughts were your thoughts and Damian wouldn’t pry into them unless you wanted him to, so he just watched your expression carefully and deduced what you were feeling and link it to whatever memory would gain an happy, fond expression and leave it at that.
Jason loves your expressive face, he really does and will playfully pester you about what you were asking a face at while softly pinching your sides as you giggled.
Jason loved watching you as you zone out, perhaps reminiscing about a recent memory or other, and watching your face show how you felt about that particular moment.
‘Whatcha thinking about chipmunk?’ He’d ask from his place on the kitchen counter that he chose to admire you from. ‘Was it about little old me?’ He’d then ask cheekily as you playfully groan, shoving a hand to his face and pushing him away.
‘As if.’ You’d reply before walking away but Jason will continue to pester you about what you were thinking for the rest of the day. He’s just a little shit that you’ve come to love more then anything. Your thoughts were more than not occupied by how comfortable he had gotten with you over the course of your relationship and how happy you were for him.
Though you’d never say such a thing in front of him as he’ll use it against you however he could while giving you the softest, most beloved look upon his gorgeous face. Jason was your weakness and the only thing that you always thought about whether it be his autopsy scars, his white ruff of hair that you found immensely adorable and his plush lips that you want to kiss constantly.
Jason is more then content in just watching your face, but don’t be surprised that he kisses your furrowed brow when he sees your face become troubled, he wants his sweetheart to be happy not troubled because that’s what you deserve. You don’t need words to describe how happy you were for Jason to be able to read the emotion crossing your face, and Jason was more than happy to be of reassurance for when you needed it.
Bruce is amused whenever you made a face at something, or nothing in particular.
Like Damian he views it as a way of expressing your inner most feelings towards something or someone without having to vocalise it. It intrigues him as it’s not often that he comes across someone who wears their emotions across their face like you, after all Gotham if filled with some of the most guarded people to ever exist, him included.
It’s fascinating but even he got a little curious when you were smiling a little too widely one day, silently chuckling to yourself as you tried to get ready for bed.
‘What is making you laugh my dear.’ Bruce would ask as he sets aside his novel, moving to his side to look at you while the hand at your waist drew soothing patterns into your skin.
‘Nothing.’ You said as you chuckled.
‘Are you sure it’s nothing? Seems like you might be reminiscing of the time at the iceberg lounge where I mistakenly striped down to my boxers and tabletop danced.’ Bruce replied and all you could do is look at him with a somewhat shocked expression, you knew he was good but you kept forgetting just how good he was at deducting it always caught you off guard.
‘How-‘ you began.
‘Detective remember.’ Bruce chuckled slightly as he kissed your forehead.
‘But that was too specific of a memory for you to guess correctly.’ You rebutted, wanting to know how he knew about that particular memory.
‘It’s not too difficult for me to differentiate between the facial expressions you have towards each and every time you zone out my dear, so while it maybe impossible to believe but to me it’s as easy as breathing.’ Bruce replied as he brought you into his chest. He really did take the time out of his day to memories and learn the smallest of differences between your facial expressions, so much to the point where could tell whether the thing you were zoning out on was a good memory or not.
‘I’m not sure whether to be flattered or not.’ You murmured to yourself as you rested again his strong chest, tracing the many, many scars it possessed with featherlight touches and affection in the form of small kisses pepper against them.
Bruce only tightens his hold on you and kisses the top of your head as he hums. ‘Flattered preferably as the expression you make is sweet and warm.’ He tells you with his voice heavy with sleep.
‘Flattery it is.’ You said sluggishly as you cuddled yourself into his chest, clinging onto him for dear life as he kept you close, presenting the door his back out of his need to keep you safe and secure.
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togrowoldinv · 1 month ago
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Red Hot Halloween
Firefighter!Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader
When Halloween comes, you dress up for Natasha
Warnings: Smut! 18+ please! Kissing, cursing, oral (N and R receiving), the heat that always comes with firefighter Nat
Note: Welcome to the triumphant return of firefighter Natasha! I have dearly missed writing for her. Enjoy this and check out other firefighter Nat installments here!
“So..�� you begin, glancing over at your girlfriend to see if she is listening.  
“Are you about to ask me to do something I don’t want to do?” Natasha asks.  
“I’m actually not sure,” you reply.  
Natasha sits upright on the couch and pauses the show you were watching together. You’ve been dating for almost a year now. It's been pure bliss with the woman you love.  
“What’s up, sweetheart?” She asks softly. Any annoyed, even fake annoyed, tone from earlier is gone.  
She takes your face in her hand softly. You hold her wrist, careful to avoid the small burn she got on her wrist from work.  
“Well, Halloween is coming up,” you say. She nods along. “And I was thinking about what to dress up as.”  
“Okay.”  
“And I thought, well, maybe I’d wear something for you.”  
Her brow raises. “For me?”  
“Well, yeah. I assumed we would be staying in anyways, so I might as well wear something you’ll enjoy.”  
“We don’t have to stay in,” Nat says. “I think Danvers is having a party that we could go to.” 
“Yeah? That might be fun,” you say. Nat smiles.  
“What is it that you wanted to ask me that you’re so nervous about?” She circles back to the topic at hand. But her phone rings and she is called into work. “I’m sorry, babe. I’ll call you later?”  
“Sure,” you say.  
You let her kiss you deeply before she grabs her stuff and leaves in a flash. After a couple of hours, you decide to take her dinner at the firehouse. When you arrive, Peter is manning the front desk. 
“Y/n! Good to see you!” He says. “Nat isn’t back yet, but a few of the others are around.”  
“Thanks, Pete. How are things?”  
“Pretty good. Me and MJ are doing well,” he says, not able to hold back a grin.  
“I love that for you,” you say sincerely. You see Carol walking down the hall and excuse yourself to talk to her. “I’ll say bye before I leave.”
“You better!” Peter calls after you.  
Carol hears the end of yours and Peter’s exchange and turns around to meet you.  
“Hey y/n,” she says. Her coolness oozes off her easily. You wonder if she ever gets frazzled. “Natasha isn’t back yet.”   
“So I’ve heard, but I’m actually here to talk to you.”  
“Oh? Come into my office then.”  
You follow her to the small, but comfortable office. She leans against her desk with her arms crossed. You suddenly feel silly for what you’re about to ask her.  
“What’s up?” She asks. “You look nervous.”  
“I am a little,” you reply. “Because I’m about to ask you something that is probably incredibly stupid.”  
“I doubt that, but try me,” Carol says.  
“Halloween is next week,” you begin. “And I was thinking about what to dress up as for Natasha.”  
Carol's eyes narrow. She is wondering where you’re going with this.  
“I thought, maybe, that I could be a firefighter for her,” you spill the words out quickly.  
“A firefighter,” Carol repeats. You fear she will make fun of the idea, but she smirks. “Nat would be into that. Especially if you wore her gear.”  
“You think so?”  
“Yeah, why are you so nervous about that?” Carol asks. She moves to sit in her desk chair.  
“Well, I don’t know. I really love her, and I don’t want that to change.”  
“Oh, y/n, Natasha is hopelessly in love with you. You could wear a potato sack and she’d be on her knees for you,” Carol jokes, but you know it’s true. “So, you want me to get you some gear?”  
“If you could. I was going to ask her, but-”  
“No, you should surprise her with this. Are you coming to my party?”
“I think so.”  
“Good. Let’s get you that gear before Nat gets back.”  
Before you know it, it’s Halloween night. Natasha has been working all day, so she tells you she will meet you at Carol’s place. You put on her gear, including a jacket with Romanoff written on the back. You really hope she will like your costume.  
You're taking a last look at yourself in your car when Natasha knocks on your window.  
“Shit, you scared me!” You say as you open the door.  
“What are you wearing?” Natasha asks as you get out of the car.  
You smile shyly as she takes you in. “I figured I’d be my favorite hero.”
“Wow,” Nat replies. “This is...”  
“Silly?”  
“Amazing.”  
“Really?”  
“Fuck yes,” Natasha says. You can’t help but laugh.  
She moves closer to you and pins you against the door of your car.  
“The only thing better than seeing you in this will be taking it all off of you later,” Natasha says. She kisses you hard until you can hardly breathe, letting her hands roam all over your body. “Let’s go inside.”  
You turn to lock your door and Nat realizes it’s not only gear but it’s her gear.  
“Y/n Romanoff, it does have a good ring to it,” Natasha says.  
You blush and take Nat’s hand. Walking into the party, you definitely turn some heads. Valkryie’s jaw is practically on the ground at the sight of you and Steve gives you a shy thumbs up.  
“I’ll get us a drink,” Natasha says. She moves toward the kitchen and you find Carol in the living room.  
“Well, you pull off the gear well,” Carol says. She pulls you into a hug. She is definitely more affectionate with some alcohol in her.  
“Thank you for your help with it.” 
“Anytime,” she replies.  
Just then a tall, gorgeous woman walks up to her. She wraps an arm around Carol’s waist and you see the blush spreading across her cheeks. So that’s proof Carol gets flustered.  
“Hey, I'm Maria,” the woman introduces herself to you.  
“Y/n,” you reply.  
“And I’m Natasha,” your favorite person shows back up beside you. “You must be Carol’s girlfriend.” 
“What do you think, Danvers? Am I your girlfriend?” Maria asks. Carol grins.  
“Definitely,” Carol says practically with cartoon hearts floating around her head.  
You and Nat smile at the sight before being pulled away by more friends. After a few hours and a few drinks, Natasha pulls you aside from the group to the guest bedroom.  
“Should we be in here?” You ask.  
“Do you think Carol isn’t in her bedroom with Maria? It’s fine, y/n.”  
You nod and let Nat pull you further into the room to sit on the bed together. You'd go anywhere with her.  
“This really was a wonderful surprise,” she says. “I love you.”  
“I love you too, Natasha,” you reply. “I wasn’t sure I could pull this off.”  
“You definitely pull it off, baby.” She stands and you spread your legs for her to stand between them. “And I want all of this off.”  
Her hands move slowly across the material of the jacket to slip it off your shoulders. She leaves the suspenders on as she lifts the classic tank top she always wears over your head. 
“Beautiful,” she mumbles as she sees your bare chest with only the suspenders covering inches of your skin. She leans down and kisses you hungrily.  
“Natasha, I need you.”  
“I know, baby,” she whispers against your lips.  
She takes her time kissing down your chest and letting her lips land just above the waistline of your pants. Her pants, actually. Your hips move involuntarily as she undoes the pants and pulls them down your legs along with your underwear.  
“All for me, hmm.”  
“All for you, Natasha.”  
Natasha smirks deviously before licking a long stripe against your folds. You shake under her touch. Her hands grip the backs of your thighs tightly as she continues to lick against you. She finds your clit with natural practice and you’re a goner.  
It doesn’t take long at all for you to fall apart under her tongue. She knows you and your body so well.  
“God, Natasha,” you mumble as you come hard for her.  
“So perfect for me,” she says.  
You pull at her shoulders and she gets the message to stand up. Sinking to the floor, you unzip her pants and pull them down her legs. Nat moves closer and positions herself right on your mouth.  
“Fuck, y/n, I want to ride your face,” Natasha says.  
“Please,” you whimper.  
Your bodies collide and you lick and suck at her as she moves her hips rapidly. She pulls at the back of your hair. The room is filled with moans of pleasure from both of you.  
“I’m close,” Natasha says.  
“Come for me, Natasha,” you say against her. 
That’s all it takes for her to fall apart. You bring her down from her high and she sits on the floor with you.  
“You should dress up like this more often,” Nat jokes.  
You chuckle. “Happy Halloween, baby.”  
“Happy Halloween, sweetheart,” Natasha replies.  
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interstellarrisa · 5 months ago
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Some subconscious fun
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You might've heard people saying that are our brain is amazing and capable of astounding things and well they're not wrong. Your brain is the most complex organ in the body with billions of neurons that have trillions of connections called synapses that makes it able to communicate, with this information how can we say that it's not amazing?
Our consciousness is thought to sit at the cerebral cortex and is said to have three levels to it. The conscious, subconscious and unconscious. They're all tasked with different things. I'll explain them all...
The conscious: This is the part that we have control over, our thoughts, feelings, decisions and acknowledgement are all made here. It's what you're using right now to read this post and also where the awareness of you reading this post is. Basically thoughts, feelings and awareness.
The subconscious: It's not in the current focus of our awareness hence called the subconscious mind. It's a barrier that's put up by our mind so that we don't become overwhelmed by all the information that we get when we interact with this world. For example our nose in the center of our vision, the feeling of our clothes or our tongue resting on the roof of our mouth. Because of this barrier we're allowed to focus our awareness on more important decision making and cognitive tasks without getting overwhelmed. This can be noticed when we decide (conscious) to pick up a new skill which can be hard to learn and do before we become a natural at it which then makes it an automatic (subconscious) skill.
The unconscious: It's perhaps the most mysterious form of consciousness since it's not available for introspection or analysis. We do know that it's a hoard of feelings, thoughts and memories lost from our conscious mind, it contains the painful past that we might simply want to forget about. Some people say that we never forget and that it just get's buried deep down within our mind and with the right signals we can recover the forgotten memories.
Now to the fun part. It's a small "experiment" that you can do every night just to see how amazing your subconscious mind truly is. Firstly I haven't found any article's stating that this is your subconscious minds doing, some say it might be your circadian rhythm (internal body clock) but I personally assume that it's your subconscious and if you know loa let's just go with it.
The experiment is you controlling when you wake up. You might go "really, that's it?" but when you first do it and it works it'll feel a bit 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂, anyways here's what to do.
Go to bed. Doesn't need to be nighttime you just need to go to sleep for this.
While falling asleep tell yourself that you'll wake up in xxx hours/minutes. For example you go to bed at 00:00 and want to wake up in 8 hours, naturally that would be 08:00 so just affirm "I will wake up in 8 hours." or "I will wake up at 08:00"
Drift off to sleep~
Wake up and check the time and it should be the designated time.
This is actually a technique used a lot in lucid dreaming method's and could also be used in shifting/manifesting/void method's. Since the brain is just like a sponge when you wake up it absorbs any kind of information presented it with and sometimes induces "hallucinations". I'd recommend shorting the time you sleep if you're gonna use it as a method though. It's also pretty similar if not the same to SATS.
This has worked for me on multiple occasions and if you wake up and the time doesn't match when you wanted to wake up it might be because you already woke up earlier and just went back to sleep and forgot about it later, happened with me a few times but because of signals I remembered. I even got rid of my alarm for school because of this and I still woke up in time for school.
warning: if this post does NOT resonate with you or your beliefs feel free to ignore it, you don't need to send hate or make posts on how stupid this is or that it's wrong. some might misunderstand this post (like the last one) and make misguided comments, please think a little before you open your mouth :). yapping session is cause i'm really interested in this topic lol.
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xan-izme · 5 months ago
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Dubble Life 9 (ATSV x reader x Batfam)
summary: Are you going to let your pride get in the way of what matters most?
Part 8, Part 10
Damian was watching you and Miles from afar. It was clear you two were close. He was, a little jealous. But he was quick to brush it off. He knows there is a bond between you and Miles stronger than the one he has with you. So, he won't fuss about it.
"Damian right? you waiting for Y/n?" Rio suddenly came up behind Damian and handed him a cup of juice.
Damian takes the cup and thanks her. "Yes. . . Mrs. Moralas. Do you know any, Miguels involved with my sister?" Damian looked up at Rio, with an innocent curious face.
"Miguel . . . Miguel? No. No, I don't think so? Why?" Rio hoped it wasn't some boy she was involved with.
"Just, wondering."
Bruce was staring at the graffiti art of your mother. He felt, sadness, guilt. Sad because he was too late to be there for you and your mother. Failed to support your mother when she probably needed it the most. Guilty, because he could probably never love your mother as strongly as you do.
He glanced over to where you and your cousin were standing. That was when he sees you actually letting your guard down completely. You looked so, tired. Like the heavy burden he sees you with, doubled by a ton. Yet, you seemed peaceful. Maybe because, your cousin seems to share the same look as you did.
He knew those looks. For a second. a suspicion creeped into his mind. But he was quick to shake it off.
'Impossible'
he would think to himself as he lets out a low chuckle. What a silly thought.
The party ended and you and the Waynes stayed behind to help clean and what not. Bruce got to see a lot of your baby pictures thanks to Rio and Jeff.
It was pretty fun, spending time with both families. Even Jason was being tolerable. While everyone was interacting with each other in the living room, Damian slipped away. decided to explore down the halls of the apartment. Pictures of you and Miles on the walls. Family trips, graduation. Every achievement framed and hanged on the walls.
Damian eventually found Miles room. The door was left slightly ajar. He would usually just go in and snoop around. But something was holding him back.
"Hey."
Suddenly Jason was behind him. Catching him off guard while he was deep in thought.
"Todd. What are you doing?" Damian spoke firmly as he glared up at the older. Jason just shrugged and chuckled "Doing the same as you. Taking a look around of course." Jason pushed past the younger boy and entered the bedroom.
Scanning the room, seemingly trying to search for something.
Damian frowns deeply and stomped into the room. "We shouldn't be in here."
Jason scoffs as he picked up a photo of you and Miles together. Dressed in your Sunday best. Smiling without a care in the world.
"Scared your big sis will get mad at you?" Jason mumbled as he set the photo face down back on the table. His eyes scan the desk. Drawings. He walked up to the desk and picked up the papers. shuffling them. looks like drawings of suits. Super suits to be specific.
Spider womans suits to be more specific.
It didn't look like some fanart or just little doodles. These were details. Upgrades with little gadgets.
"He's in on it." Jason mumbled to himself. Realizing your cousin Miles knows your secret. This gives Jason a lot of more information on you now. Proving some theories he had of you. And changing some others.
Damian just stood behind Jason. He didn't understand what Jason said. Nor did he care.
"Stop it Todd. This is an invasion of our hosts privacy." Damian demanded. Jason couldn't help but scoff humorously once again
"Cheap coming from you."
Suddenly two shadows from the open door were noticed by Damian. Before Damian can turn around. A deep voice spoke.
"You should listen to the kid."
When Jason and Damian turn to the door. They were greeted by you and Miles leaning on each side of the doorframe. Glaring at the both of them with cold stoic looks. Your glare was mainly aimed at Jason.
"Y/n I-" Damian was panicking a little. You walked into the room an put your hand on his shoulder. Giving him a small smile. Not the sweet one you usually give him. You were giving him the smile that looked empty.
"Go back and join the others cupcake." You ruffled his head and nudged him along out of the room. You signaled Miles to go along with Damian just in case he wonders off.
"Your cousin a fan of Spider woman? Does he know about-" Jason held up the paper drawings. You snatched the drawings out of his hand with a scowl, you roughly grabbed him by his collar and held him up the ground with your super strength.
"Whoa whoa!" Jason held up his hands in surrender, but he still had that damn smirk on his face. He was enjoying seeing that he pissed you off.
"We made a deal. I suggest you stick to that only." Your tone was an uneasy calmness as you spoke. You carelessly dropped Jason and stormed out of the room.
Jason huffed in annoyance, getting off the floor. You just gave him a warning.
It was time to leave and get back to Gotham. Bruce and the boys were heading back to the limo as you were saying your goodbyes. You and Miles gave each other a tight hug. You sighed as you pulled away. A sad look in your eyes.
"What?" Miles knows somethings wrong. You just, stared at him while holding him by his shoulders. The kind of look that seems far away.
"Nothing. . . love you, bye." You gave a small smile gently cupping one side of his face before letting go. Miles chuckled and smiled back.
"Bye!" He waved as you walked to the limo.
Back at Gotham. It was late in the night. You had gotten an alert from the watch. An anomaly showed up. In Gotham. You were quick. You took out the anomaly before it could do any serious damage.
But before you could get back to the Wayne mansion. You got another alert. You took care of it. Then another showed up.
It wasn't till the sun began to come up did you finally get back to the mansion. You haven't had a night like that in a while. As you laid in bed. Gwen came to mind. Her words.
Her warning of how Miles and Aaron not being able to be your replacement for long.
The anomalies were getting stronger. The more you just laid there and thought about it, the more fear began to creep into your mind. The possibility of losing Miles and Aaron. So many possibilities. Dear God, did it scare you.
You needed help. And you knew the Spider Society could help. But you were too prideful to go back to them. Selfish, you know.
You sighed and sat up from your bed. You grabbed your phone. Instantly greeted with your lockscreen of you and Miles. You stared at it for a moment. His smile. He was always the more joyful one between the two of you.
". . ."
You love Miles. You really do. But you just, can't physically bring yourself to reach out to the Society for help.
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webbluvrsugar · 1 month ago
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Hellowww, love your writing.
I can't stop thinking about reader being tuned on by Ethan being such a nerd, like every time he says something smart or dorky she just wants to jump his bones.
a/n: since I’ve been so obsessed with the concept of my bully!reader, I decided to make her in this one. Final request that has pretty Ethan header because it consumes a lot of time and I can’t get them out quick.
not proofread
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Ethan turns you on in the weirdest ways…
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Ethan is always telling you some random nerdy thing that you didn’t even ask about but sometimes relates to what your speaking of, he blames his quick thinking and apologises when you mock him for it, what he doesn’t know is that… it’s attractive, in a way.
You don’t know where your fondness for nerds started, but it surely seems a lot more noticeable when he’s a sound, sure, you make fun of him and you curse him out but there’s always times that you find yourself biting down on your pen, slowly getting more interested in what he’s saying, it’s weird…
“I can’t believe his head exploded like — why would he take off his spacesuit?” You comment about a recent movie you’ve seen, completely disgusted by it, you sit down on your chair, Ethan, who’s sitting on the desk besides you, can’t help but listen it.
“You know… that’s actually not true.” He points out.
Your frown, turn to him with a scoff. “What?”
“Your head wouldn’t explode if you.. took off your suit.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“It wouldn’t, it’s impossible.” He mutters. “You would just… go blind from the blood vessels in your head popping, then you’d slowly freeze and —“ he keeps speaking, your eyes go down to his lips, you can’t even remember what you were talking about in the first place. “You’d asphyxiate.”
Your lips are lightly parted, he thinks you’re confused but you aren’t, you’re just in a very.. very light transe from what he just said, eyes focused on his before he speaks up.
“S — Sorry.” He fiddles with his pen, sighing.
“Uhm…” you chuckle, almost if not believing him. “how do you… how do you even know that?”
“I… read a lot of books, google things often…” he swallows hard, nervous of your reaction.
“‘Course you do.” You mock, crossing one leg over the other. “Tell me, E, what other facts do you know?”
It’s the first time you really do seem interested in what he has to say without making fun of him and Ethan takes advantage of it, he starts rambling about some geek movie stuff, something that you quickly start ignoring once you feel heat pooling down your stomach, it’s unlike you, it’s unlike him to be seducing you — if he’s even doing so — but it just works so well, and after a matter of minutes, you’re not sure what you’re even staring at.
Somehow, Ethan notices it, this time, it’s going to be him who teases you.
“Got it?” He raises one eyebrow, tries to hide back the smirk on his face.
“Y — Yeah, totally.” You swallow. “But it was so hard to, I was getting distracted by all your geeky stuff, I mean shit’s so boring.”
Ethan chuckles, and it’s the first time he’s ever laughed at you, in your face. “For someone who’s so smart, you don’t seem to have a lot of brains when I’m talking.”
“What?”
“Just saying, you’re.. so dull when you’re talking to me.” He points out.
“The hell does that mean?”
“Nothing, I just… I just think maybe you’re not so truthful about your hate towards me…”
You scoff, as if you don’t believe him, deep down, you know he’s probably right, but you’ll deny it.
“What? You think I find you hot or something? Get a grip, nerd, I wouldn’t like you even if you were born again.” You scoff, so upset that you stand, grab your things and leave.
Ethan know he should be offended, but he really can’t be anything other than glad when he sees the look on your face as you walk away.
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eiightysixbaby · 1 year ago
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under the mistletoe
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modern!eddie munson x fem!reader (college au)
2.6k
summary: a holiday party, a sweet gift exchange, and an even sweeter kiss
cw: mentions of alcohol, v brief mentions of weed smoking, fluff
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“If Steve and Chrissy kiss one more time under that mistletoe, I’m gonna barf,” Eddie mumbles around his glass of eggnog.
“Oh, come on, I think it’s sweet,” Robin says, elbowing him in the side. “Stop being such a downer.”
You look in the direction of the couple under scrutiny, watching as Chrissy perches herself on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on Steve’s waiting mouth. It is sweet, sickeningly so, if you’re honest. Maybe that’s where Eddie’s coming from…
“I’m not being a downer, I just don’t think we should all have to be subjected to them sucking face every five minutes,” Eddie sneers at her, huffing when she rolls her eyes at him.
“You’re just jealous you’re not getting any, Munson,” Robin sing-songs, walking away to refill her drink.
This was your first time experiencing one of Steve’s Christmas parties. Last year, you spent the holiday miserably sick in your and Robin’s shared apartment. You’d met the group during your first year of college, making fast friends and fitting right in with them. Robin and Eddie knew Steve from their shared hometown growing up, and they’d told you countless stories of all of the parties he used to throw in high school.
You’re just thankful that now, the parties are a little more scaled-back. A lot less drinking-till-you-puke and a lot more quality time with people you actually care about.
“So, you having fun at your first official Harrington holiday party?” Eddie asks you, looking casually over at you with his deep brown eyes.
“Yeah,” you smile. “It’s fun. I needed this after all the stress from finals. And it beats having the flu like last year,” you grimace, heart skipping a beat when Eddie laughs.
“Okay, you got me. Watching Steve and Chrissy make out might be bad, but it’s not as bad as the flu.”
You giggle, feeling your cheeks heat when he doesn’t take his eyes off of you. You’d be a filthy liar if you said you didn’t have a thing for Eddie. The moment you met him he’d captured your full attention, with his boisterous personality and his pretty eyes. His wild curly hair and his stellar smile. Everything about him had you giddy like a teenager, but you hadn’t voiced this to anyone — too scared that your feelings would disrupt, well, everything.
Plus, Eddie definitely didn’t like you like that. You’ve heard some of his hookup stories, he wouldn’t want to settle down and start a relationship with you. You’re just a friend to him, and that’s fine.
But with the way he’s looking at you right now, you could almost be convinced otherwise…
The little moment is gone before it really even started, Nancy coming over to the two of you and hurrying you into the living room to do the gift exchange. You’d decided to do a Secret Santa, drawing names and keeping your chosen person a secret until it was time for the unwrapping.
Much to your excitement, you’d pulled Eddie’s name. You’d debated over what to get him for as long as you could get away with before you finally came up with the perfect idea. Now that it’s almost time for him to open it, you find yourself getting nervous to see his reaction.
Everyone sits in a circle in the living room, taking up all of the furniture as well as the floor. You take one end of the sofa, and Eddie claims the chair closest to you. You watch as Nancy places all of the wrapped boxes and sparkly gift bags in the center of the group, trying not to think too hard about the fact that Eddie chose to sit by you.
“So, whose name did you get?” he leans over and whispers to you, those big doe eyes full of mischief.
“Well what fun would it be to spoil it now?” you counter, smiling at him as he rolls his eyes and sighs exaggeratedly.
Your attention is brought back to the group as Steve offers to go first, picking up his gift and handing it over to Jonathan. Jonathan shyly accepts it, smiling as he tears the tissue paper out of the bag to reveal its contents. He pulls out a few cassette tapes of his favorite artists, as well as a new strap for his camera.
“Dude, these are awesome!” he says, and you watch as Steve smiles proudly. “Thank you so much,” the shaggy-headed boy continues, leaning over to accept Steve’s fist bump.
“No problem, man. I know you were complaining about your current camera strap getting all worn. The cassettes were an obvious choice,” Steve jokes.
The room is full of smiles and laughs as the gift-giving continues. Jonathan gives his gift to Chrissy, Chrissy had drawn your name and gives hers to you — a beautiful charm bracelet and a cozy blanket you’d seen at the mall not long ago and wanted terribly.
That means you’re up next. Your hands feel clammy and nervous butterflies flutter in your stomach as you grab your gifts from the floor. Angling yourself in Eddie’s direction, you hand him the presents with a timid smile.
“For me!?” he asks, holding a hand up to his heart. “How’d I get so lucky?”
You feel your face flush, unable to maintain eye contact as your jitters get the best of you. You just hope he likes it. You hope it’s not too much.
Eddie’s careful hands unwrap the first present of the two, tossing the wrapping paper to the floor. The small box is exposed, and you feel like you might pass out as he takes the lid off. His jaw drops open, his head snapping up to look at you and then look back down at the contents of the container once more.
“What is it!?” Nancy asks, craning her neck from her seat to try and catch a glimpse.
“Custom guitar picks. For Corroded Coffin,” Eddie says, in awe as he just stares at them.
The picks were a red and black marbled pattern, with CC printed onto them on one side, and an image of a bat flying on the opposite side. You know how important his band is to him, how often he stays up till the asscrack of dawn practicing guitar, and so it felt like the perfect thing to get.
You wait with baited-breath as he continues looking them over, picking them up and marveling at them as if they aren’t just pieces of plastic at the end of the day.
“These are…. I don’t even know what to say. These are so fucking sweet,” he says, meeting your eyes.
“Don’t forget to open the second one,” you say, trying to bite back a smile.
He just smiles, shaking his head as he goes to pick up the second present. Reaching carefully inside of the big, sparkly red bag, he pulls out a vinyl record. Not just any record, though. It’s a copy of Master of Puppets, signed by every member of Metallica. Eddie’s favorite band. You’d scoured the internet for a legitimate and somewhat-affordable copy, completely scoring on this one. A good chunk of the money you’d made from your campus job went towards it, but it was more than worth it.
“No fucking way!” he shouts when he clocks the signatures scrawled out in marker. He flips the record around to show the room, everyone erupting in a chorus of “holy shit!” and “oh my god”.
He’s out of his seat in an instant, encouraging you to stand with him. He squeezes you in an impossibly tight hug, his arms so secure around you.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” he says, right against your ear. He pulls back a little, looking you right in the eyes. “Thank you so fucking much. What the hell,” he laughs, his teeth fully on display and the dimples coming out in his cheeks.
“Damn. She’s the best gift giver of us all. I think we might as well just call off Secret Santa for next year, no one’s topping that,” Steve says, getting a nod from Robin.
Eddie still hasn’t fully let you go, and it’s only when you become excruciatingly aware of all of the eyes on you that you pull away from his touch.
“Okay. So, Eddie, you’re next?” you say shakily, trying to gain your composure back. The boy stares at you just a second too long for you not to overthink it, before he’s nodding along.
“Yeah, alright,” he says, reaching for his gift.
The remainder of the gifts are exchanged rather quickly, but you really couldn’t tell anyone what they were if you’d had a gun to your head. All you could think about was the way Eddie hugged you. The look in his eyes when he opened both gifts. His eyes watching you intently from that moment on.
You want to buy him gifts like that all of the time, want to make him smile like that all of the time.
Chrissy and Steve cozy up on the loveseat, wrapped in each other as Christmas music plays softly. Jonathan and Argyle sit by the window, smoking from the new bowl the latter had been gifted by Robin. (That was the only gift you’d actually paid attention to as it was given, because Argyle literally cried). Eddie was relaxing in his chair, sipping another glass of spiked nog.
Robin and Nancy had pulled you into the kitchen as soon as they could, talking in whispers.
“Okay, so what was that? You got Eddie, like, the best gift ever.” Robin says, her eyes bulging at the end of the sentence.
“Yeah, I mean, that record had to have cost a fortune. And the custom picks!?” Nancy prods.
“Can I not just get my friend a nice gift?” you counter, your hand rubbing the back of your neck.
“Something’s up. I always know when something’s up,” Nancy says, her small mouth pursing in thought.
She’s right. She always knows. You don’t stand a chance lying to them — especially not both of them, together.
“Okay, fine! So maybe I have a little thing for Eddie…” you say. “But he definitely doesn’t like me like that! I just… wanted to get him something nice. It made me feel good,” you add, quick to defend yourself.
“I knew it!” Robin says, a little too loud, Nancy and you hurrying to shush her. “I knew it,” she says again, whispering this time.
“Just pleeaaase don’t tell him, okay? I don’t need this getting out—”
“Okay, babe, have you ever considered that he might like you too?” Robin interrupts, and Nancy nods.
“I— I don’t know! He doesn’t seem like the type to want a relationship, and… I don’t know!” you stumble, realizing you aren’t sure if you have a valid reason to confidently claim that he doesn’t like you.
The truth is, you just don’t know. And the unknown is terrifying.
“Why don’t you ask him out?” Nancy asks. “You know Eddie’s a sweetheart. I’m sure he’d love to go on a date with you,” she says, and you chew on your lip in indecision.
“I don’t know, you guys…” you mumble, nervously playing with your hair.
“Just, think about it?” Robin asks, just as the curly-headed man in question strolls leisurely into the kitchen.
“What are we thinking about?” he noses his way into the conversation, grabbing a few cookies off of a tray.
“Uh, nothing important,” you lie, giving him the most convincingly casual smile you can muster.
He bites into his cookie, leaning casually against the table. His dark eyes don’t leave you. Bringing an icing-covered finger to his mouth, he sucks the sugary substance off, making you flustered for the millionth time tonight.
Think about it, Robin said. You’re definitely thinking about it.
“Hey, um, could I talk to you alone, for a sec?” he asks you, bringing you back to earth.
“Oh! Y-yeah, sure,” you say, following him out of the kitchen. You chance a quick glance back at the girls, both of whom give you a thumbs up and an encouraging nod.
Eddie rounds the corner from the kitchen, standing in the entryway to the apartment. You’re just out of earshot of anyone else, and you’re nervous for what he’s about to say. You lean against the wall, his taller frame almost caging you in.
“Listen. I just want you to know how much I appreciate the gifts you got me. You didn’t have to do that,” he says sincerely. “No one’s ever gotten me a gift that nice before, besides for when Wayne got me my guitar,” he says, laughing lightly. “I just… thank you. I can’t thank you enough, actually.”
“I wanted to do it. You don’t even need to thank me. I’m just glad you like them, and you don’t think it’s too much,” you admit, glancing down at your feet.
“They’re perfect,” he says earnestly, getting you to look back up at him. “You’re… perfect," he breathes, saying it like it's a sigh of relief. Like it’s long overdue.
His eyes are so soft and sincere, his lips plump and pink as his tongue pokes out to wet them. His cheeks are tinged with the slightest bit of red, either from nerves or from the alcohol. You find yourself lost in him, your lips parting slightly as you both stand in silence.
Something above his head catches your attention, after a moment, and you look further up. You laugh in spite of yourself, making him look up, too.
Right above both of you, hanging from the arch in the ceiling, is mistletoe. The same mistletoe Eddie had been complaining about earlier. He starts laughing too, and then the both of you are stood there giggling like schoolchildren at the situation you find yourselves in.
When he’s regained composure, and your belly-laughs have subsided to a shy smile, you meet his eyes again. He steps ever-so-slightly closer to you, regarding you carefully down the bridge of his nose. There’s a playful look on his face, and one of his hands reaches out to gently rest on your waist.
“Since we’re here… should we..?” he starts, inching even closer.
“Yeah, we should,” you murmur, pushing up on your toes to meet him as he starts leaning down.
Your eyes flutter shut, your noses brushing together before your lips barely graze his. His warm breath fans your face, and then his lips are pressed fully on yours. You’re drinking him in, letting your mouths move softly together as you press your body against his. He smells like cinnamon and spice, tastes like the liquor from his drink, and you can’t get enough.
He’s pulling away too soon, reaching his hands up to cup your face. You never want him to let go, never want to go back to the reality you were living in before you’d kissed him, and the look on his face tells you he might be feeling the same.
“Wow,” Steve says from his spot on the couch, reminding both you and Eddie that you aren’t the only ones here.
“Awww you guys are so cute!” Chrissy coos, making you bite your lip in slight embarrassment.
Nancy and Robin high-five nonchalantly, before looking at you with huge smiles. Eddie’s arm wraps around you, pulling you into his side. You feel like a million bucks with him so close to you.
“You guys mind if we get out of here?” he says to the room. “I think we have a lot to catch up on,” he adds, glancing down at you with a wink.
You’d never been so happy to leave a party in your life. And maybe you didn’t even make it out of the parking lot of Steve’s complex before Eddie’s hands were all over you, but that’s your business.
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jihyoruri · 4 months ago
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❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ ❚ I DON’T SMOKE kim chaewon x reader
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↳ warnings richgirl!yn, read these two parts before this one if you haven’t already, aespa girlies coming in clutch, kazuha being amazing, everything is …., pov switch’s between yn and chaewon, swearing, mentions of this work
CHAEWON WASN'T GONNA LIE , she’s been trying to erase what happened the other day with her stupid decision to kiss yn from her mind.
what was she thinking? of course that wouldn’t make yn think she didn’t like her. it definitely bosted the girls ego and chaewon couldn’t stand it.
and today is a prime example of that.
“yn, if you don’t hurry up right now I’ll-”
“you’ll what kiss me?” the girl cut chaewon off flashing the leader a cocky smile, “shiver me timbers.”
“you should be glad, I’m actually getting ready faster than I usually do, if you guys would’ve let me install my own washroom this wouldn’t be a problem.”
chaewon shut her eyes and tried to calm down her breathing, how privileged can this girl get?
“you are insufferable,” chaewon said clenching her fists, “I’ll just see if yunjin is done with the other washroom.”
“yeah, you go do that, I’m gonna need like another hour,”
chaewon groan was heard as she left the washroom door way and went down the hall and yn couldn’t help but smile to herself at the sound, she found it amusing how worked up chaewon got, but it was all fun and games right? no way chaewon hated her that passionately.
yn wasn’t gonna lie, as much as she didn’t show it, she was getting pretty in her head about that kiss, she got the same feeling in her chest that she gets when she’s teasing chaewon when they kissed.
she always get’s that feeling in her chest when it comes to chaewon, but she’s learned to just shake it off, taking it as the thrill of not giving chaewon the satisfaction of seeing her hurt by her words.
because she wasn’t hurt, at least that’s what yn would tell herself.
yn wasn’t lying when she said she needed another hour, the girls were going out to lunch and to be honest outside of group activities yn didn’t hang out with the girls much, she mostly hung out with four certain girls under sm entertainment, but this time kazuha said she had to come, so here she is.
an hour has passed and yn still isn’t ready, she adjusted the headband on her head as she looked through the washroom to see if her eyeliner was in there, she hadn’t seen it since she leant to kazuha the other night.
she had her outfit and everything on but she just needed her eyeliner.
she headed outside the washroom, deciding it would be better to just ask kazuha where her eyeliner was, she could hear all the girls voices in the living room, probably waiting for her.
as she walked closer their muffled voices became more clear.
“she mentioned getting a washroom in her room again,” chaewons voice was clear, “it sounded so pretentious.”
yn couldn’t help but furrow her eyebrows at the leaders words, she mentioned how they didn’t let her get one, it wasn’t like she was complaining, at least she hoped it didn’t sound like she was.
she softened when she heard kazuha’s voice, “she was probably joking, you know yn, she loves getting on your nerves.”
“oh I know yn, she’s a spoiled brat.”
yn fidgeted at how chaewon voice sounded, she was ready to walk in there and put on a show and act like she didn’t hear the familiar words of chaewon’s but then she heard yunjin’s voice.
“did you hear about her being requested to be on one of nayeon sunbae’s new songs for her comeback, I heard her talking about it on the phone with ningning.”
yn cringed at the way yunjin’s voice sounded, was that her voice always sounded when she wasn’t around? she was planning on telling them the good news at lunch but she’s kinda glad she didn’t just hearing the sounds they made at yunjin’s words.
“that’s so good,” kazuha replied , “yn’s so talented of course they would reach out to her.” the girl said causing yn to smile a little, hearing her friends words but it’s completely wiped off by yunjin’s response.
“yeah….but,” yunjin trails off, “I wonder if her dad had something to do with it, I mean a member of twice asking for a collab?”
yn scrunched up her face, just listening to the girls words, her father has had nothing to do with her music, he was too focused on his business to care.
she wanted to leave and go back to her room, but she couldn’t find herself to move.
“yn’s been on high demand though,” kazuha says coming to yn’s defence, “everyone loves her, artists and the general public of course she’s gonna be asked to be on a song.”
“I’m kinda with yunjin,” sakura says, her and yn didn’t have the closet relationship but it still stung hearing her elders words, “yn has been on like four songs this year, and how many brands has she done stuff with? it’s gotta be-”
“daddy’s money.” chaewon finishes for sakura, “it’s obvious, the only people that I actually believe are obsessed with yn are the men in this country, they all see her as some sick joke, a toy that they can play with, just look at when we filmed knowing bros.”
yn clenched her fists at the mention of the show, that day was humiliating, she was glad that karina came to her rescue because if not, she didn’t know what she would do.
yunjin laughed at the memory, “that joke was kinda funny though, yn can be on the slow side sometimes.”
her words made eunchae giggle, “yeah that was funny.” she said copying yunjin’s words.
“that was not funny at all.” kazuha said her voice firm, “they were making fun of her, like some sick joke.”
“is it a joke if it’s true?” chaewon said with amusement in her tone, “yn isn’t the brightest star.”
yn couldn’t believe she was here listening to her members trash talk her like this, while they think she’s in the other room, if could physically let herself cry she would right now, but she can’t, she won’t embarrass herself like that.
“yn went to one of most prestigious schools to exist, no idol has ever been to that school,” kazuha says coming to yn’s defence again.
“and who do you think got her into the school?” chaewon asked, “daddy of course.”
the girls laughed at chaewon’s words, “I honestly think she was kinda sensitive during knowing bros, she didn’t laugh at one joke.”
“why would she?” kazuha said yn could hear the annoyance in her friends voice, “the whole show was just them sexualizing her and making fun of her.”
“oh, stop being dramatic.” both sakura and yunjin said at the same time.
is it dramatic to say yn was in shock at her members words, did they have no sympathy? that was one of the worst days of yn’s life, the whole time she was just treated horribly while everyone laughed, she can bet if it was one of the other girls they wouldn’t have found it amusing.
she can remember the day like yesterday, as soon as they got back to the dorms yn and called one of her dads drivers go drive her to aespa’s dorms, telling them what happened, and they sure didn’t find it amusing like her members did.
her nails were starting to create marks in her hands as she listened to girls call kazuha dramatic.
she wonders what more have they said about her, when she wasn’t around.
“okay, I’m done listening to you guys act like assholes, I’m gonna go check to see if yn’s ready.”
yn couldn’t move fast, she flinched back when she came face to face with kazuha who paled when she saw yn.
“yn?”
“yeah,” with the way yn’s voice sounded who would’ve never guessed she was just listening to her group members shit on her.
“did you hear anything that was said?” kazuha asked searching yn’s face for any hint of sadness or hurt.
“hear what?” yn said cheerfully, playfully pinching kazuha’s cheek, “are you planning me a surprise or something?”
yn didn’t know how she could quickly act like everything was okay, especially since this is the worst she’s ever felt in a while, I guess she has just grown used to doing this a lot.
kazuha opened her mouth to respond but yn cut her off, “have you seen my eyeliner, I’ve been trying to look for it.”
“oh.” kazuha says, “it’s on my desk.”
“okay let me just get that, and then I’ll be ready, feel free to tell the girls,” yn says before speed walking towards kazuha’s room.
kazuha watched as yn walked away feeling a queasy frying her stomach, all she could think to herself is how much she just wanted yn to show her emotions and tell her how she truly feels.
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yn felt like she was underwater all the talking muffled as her members talked amongst each other, she found it hard to engage after hearing their such strong opinions about her.
yn feels like she could smoke ten packs of cigarettes right now, just to feel numb to it all.
she felt a nudge on her shoulder and she turned to kazuha who looked at her with concern, “you good?” the girl asked a little bit too loud causing the table to quite down all their eyes on yn.
chaewon rolled her eyes at yn’s silence, definitely thinking about how much yn’s probably loving the attention right now, when it’s quite the opposite.
“yeah I’m good.” yn says, there’s still silence, “actually I think I’m gonna go.”
“woah what?” yunjin says watching yn grab her purse.
“why?” kazuha asked gripping yn’s arm.
“yeah, I totally forgot that I have some stuff to do with my dad.” yn says tugging her arm out of kazuha’s grip.
“such a daddy’s girl.” chaewon says causing eunchae to giggle.
“you can’t do it another time?” sakura asked.
yn tried her best to stop herself from glaring at them, they want her go stay after all the things they said about her? seriously?
“nope!” she responded, “sorry you know how he is, lunch is on me.” she says digging into her purse and slapping a stack of cash that could probably cover the lunch into kazuha’s hands who looked at her with even more concern.
“you don’t have too.” yunjin says looking at the money in kazuha’s hands, “we were just gonna pay.”
“no it’s okay, daddy’s money should cover it.” yn says a bit of bite in her tone causing chaewon to furrow her eyebrows.
“see you guys later.” she says giving kazuha a squeeze on her shoulder before leaving, ignoring the eyes of her members that were on her.
as she walked out the restaurant one of her dads divers were outside waiting for her, she texted him 10 minutes before she told the girls she was leaving, she couldn’t take it in there anymore, she felt suffocated.
“where to?” the diver asked as she sat in the backseat.
“you already know.” yn said as the man nodded.
yn immediately pulled out her phone and texted yizhuo everything that went down.
yiz baby 🎀 wtf?????
yiz baby 🎀 that’s insane
yiz baby 🎀 what did you ever do to them
she sighed at her friends text messages and looked out the window watching the buildings pass, she couldn’t help but think maybe she did do something to them.
she wasn’t even supposed to be in the lesserafim lineup but got added last minute, she moved around a lot, she was a sm trainee and was apart of the aespa lineup, then she moved to hybe after her dad started business with them, she got taken from source and moved to ador just for source to take her back and quickly add her to the lesserafim lineup, she was an intruder.
she wasn’t meant to be apart of this family, maybe they do have the right to be mean, she just came out of know where and probably ruined everything for them.
yn knew if she closed her eyes tears would fall so she kept them open until a familiar building came to view.
aespa’s dorm.
she got of the car and thanked the driver and make her way into the building.
as she made it to the door she knocked three times and it immediately opened to reveal yizhuo who wrapped her arms around yn.
“what the hell, yn.”
“I know.”
yizhuo dragged yn inside and closed the door walking the girl over to the living room where the rest of aespa sat looking at the tv.
aeri noticed her first, “yn!” she cheered getting up from the couch causing jimin and minjeong to get up as well all three of them giving yn a hug at the same time.
“yizhuo showed us the texts.” jimin said wrapping her arm around yn’s shoulder and leading her to couches.
“yeah…”
“what the hell is there problem?” aeri asked with anger in her voice, “you’ve done nothing wrong.” she said watching yn leaning into jimin’s side and burying her face into the girls neck.
“honestly I was thinking about it.” yn said her voice kind of muffled because of her being squished into jimin, “maybe I did do something to them.”
“what?!” all four girls yelled in disbelief at yn’s words.
she lifted herself from jimin’s side and looked at all of them, “I’m an intruder, I wasn’t supposed to be apart of their family, I came in and probably ruined everything for them, if anything they can mean as they want, hybe can be frustrating and I guess I’m the best person to take that frustration out on and that’s okay.”
“what the fuck yn” yizhuo says looking at her best friend as if she grew five heads, “what type of nonsense just came out of your mouth.”
yn’s mouth drops in offence and minjeong cuts in, “you’ve done nothing wrong yn, it’s pure jealousy, don’t ever blame yourself for this.”
jimin rubbed yn’s shoulder, “stop giving them the benefit of the doubt, they don’t deserve it after today.”
“and can you cry a little?” yizhuo asked, “you can’t keep bottling things up, it’s unhealthy.”
“that’s so embarrassing, never suggest that dumb shit to be again.” yn said to yizhuo firmly, “could imagine my mom and dad’s reaction if they saw me crying or my brothers, it’s crazy that you even suggested it.”
yizhuo shook her head at her best friend in disbelief, “I’m convinced you and your family are robots.”
that was the first time yn had fully laughed all day, she was happy that she had these four girls in her life, she didn’t know what she was gonna do when she has to go back her dorm.
“you should sleepover.” jimin suggested, “you already have clothes here, you need a break.”
all the girls nodded in agreement as yn thought about it.
“okay, I just need to text zuha.”
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rich princess 💗staying at nings
kazuha frowned at the text, she just wanted to be there for yn.
“oh?” she flinched back at chaewon’s closeness, “so she’s a liar and a spoiled brat.” she says looking at kazuha’s phone, “blowing off your own group for another?”
“maybe she already did the stuff with her dad, you know she always goes to the aespa dorms after she goes out.” kazuha said coming to yn’s defence.
“why do you care anyways.”
chaewon swallowed at kazuha’s words.
“I don’t, why would I care?” she asked glaring at kazuha. but the way she said it kinda made it seem like she was saying to herself instead of kazuha.
why would I care about what yn does ?
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callsign-joyride · 4 months ago
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But Daddy I Love Him | J.H.S
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Summary: You finally tell your dad and Rooster about your secret relationship with Hangman. Content Warnings: Secret relationship, mentions of food/eating Lyric: "Now I'm dancing with my dress in the sun, and even my daddy just loves him." Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Mav's daughter reader
Buy me a coffee
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“I know you like to get involved with what I do for work, but I need you to stay away from Hangman, got it?” Your dad had asked you one night over dinner.
“Why? What’s wrong with Hangman?”
“He’s an asshole, that’s what’s wrong with him,” Bradley said.
“Yeah, okay.”
You just couldn’t stay away. The first time that Hangman got you by yourself was on the patio of The Hard Deck. Everyone was too busy inside to worry about what was going on so close to the water. He did a pretty good job of chatting you up and getting your number before you went inside because your dad was getting worried about you. That was months ago, and you and Jake had done a pretty good job of keeping your relationship a secret so far. You had a few close calls but nothing too serious, mainly just Payback and Fanboy catching you hugging or being too close to each other for “acquaintances”. They definitely knew, but Jake scared them into not telling Mav.
Both of you knew what you wanted out of this relationship. You wanted to marry each other but there were a few things you needed to do first. The most important being that your dad had to know about the relationship, even if he’d be unhappy about it. That was the most nerve wracking part, since he was the one who told you to stay away from the Dagger Squad, Hangman in particular. 
“You should come by for dinner tonight,” your dad had told you over a phone call while you were sitting on your couch with Jake. Jake quickly shook his head and you had to stifle a laugh. 
“I actually have plans with some college friends who are in town,” you lied.
”Oh, which friends?”
”Just some friends from the tennis club that I was in. I don’t think I talked about it that much with you.”
”Oh, okay. Well, have fun.”
”Thanks. Oh, I’ve been meaning to tell you that I’ve been seeing someone. He wants to meet you and Penny. Let’s schedule a dinner at my apartment some time in the next few weeks. How does that sound?”
By the end of the phone call, you had dinner scheduled and had told your dad a little bit about your new boyfriend. He didn’t know that it was Hangman, and if he had somehow figured it out, it wasn’t obvious. You spent the rest of the night with Jake, mainly relaxing and watching movies on the couch. As you both climbed in to your bed, you talked about telling everyone else. 
“Let’s tell Bradley on the same day as dinner with my dad. Actually, we’ll call and tell him after. I don’t want him to let it slip to my dad before we get a chance to say anything.”
The next couple of weeks flew by, and there were only a few hours until your dad and Penny would be at your apartment for dinner. You told Bradley about dinner, and he decided to join, so you didn’t have to go to the base just so that you and Jake could announce your relationship. Jake joined you at your apartment while you cooked dinner. You had him set the table and put a bottle of wine on ice. There were plenty of beers in the fridge, since you only had wine on special occasions. (Mainly because you weren’t really a fan of it unless it tasted like jam.)
Bradley walked in with Penny and your dad at the perfect time. You were pulling the lasagna out of the oven and Jake was in the bathroom. You mentioned that when your dad asked you where your boyfriend was, leaving out his name. 
It was a surprise to everyone when Jake walked out of the bathroom and asked if you were all ready to eat. Bradley immediately got a beer out of the fridge, Penny looked impressed, and you couldn’t quite describe the look on your dad’s face. Everyone sat down and started eating, and things were mostly quiet except for the occasional ask to pass something across the table. 
“So, how long have you two been dating?” Your dad asked.
“A few months, and before you get worked up, we’re happy.”
“I’m not worked up, okay? I just wanna know why you kept it a secret for so long.”
“That’s what you’re wondering about?” Bradley asked, “I mean, Hangman, I knew you were seeing someone when you started skipping nights at The Hard Deck. I’m wondering why this, why now, y’know? Like, why get us together for dinner to announce this? Not that I’m really complaining, I get a free meal, but this could’ve been a text, really.”
You sighed and put your head in your hands out of embarrassment. Bradley did have a point, but you were mainly focused on trying not to laugh. 
“We’re thinking of getting married. That’s why you’re all here, because one day, we’re gonna have a big ceremony,” you glared at Jake while he was speaking, “or we’ll head down to the courthouse, and we’ll want you there to celebrate with us.”
“Do you love him?” Your dad asked you. 
“Yes,” you said as you nodded your head.
“And do you love her?”
“Absolutely, sir,” Jake said.
“That’s all I needed to hear. Get married, have fun, do whatever you want. But try not to rush into it, okay?”
“Wait, really?” You asked through chuckles.
“Yeah. If you’re happy, I’m happy. I couldn’t really stop you, anyways, since it is your life.”
“I’ll cheers to that,” Jake said. You clinked wine glasses and beer cans before handing out dessert.You had made a cheesecake before everyone arrived, so all you had to do was pull it out of the fridge and cut it. Bradley stayed a lot longer than anyone thought he would, not leaving until midnight when you pointed out how late it was getting. 
It was somewhat surprising that your dad had approved of the relationship so easily. It was even more surprising that Rooster was okay with all of it. Either way, you weren’t complaining. And since you and Jake were more comfortable with being open about your relationship, you started going to The Hard Deck with him and the rest of the Dagger Squad. You even loudly supported him at the next air show that he had, while hanging out with the other partners of the group.
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ladyloveandjustice · 6 months ago
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Yuri Manga for New (AND Not-So-New) Readers
I was talking on discord about some good yuri for beginners, and figured I'd repost here.
I get way more detailed some of these recommendations in this post, and there's great recs from another person too! Check it out!
I'm doing this accounting to various tones and tastes, so what works as a beginner yuri for one person might not for another, just read the info to figure out what your jam is.
I'll put a star by the ones about adults (which is the majority of them) since I've found that's always something people want.
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Goodbye my Rose Garden (Victorian yuri w/ beautiful art, just beautiful all around)*
How Do We Relationship? (messy adult relationships and lots of actually realistic intimacy)*
She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat- (A woman loves to cook but doesn’t have a huge appetite, only to find the woman next door to her does! She cooks for her and they really start to bond over food and the trials of being working adults. Yes, this is the one where the woman googles lesbian. It's really good)*
Bloom into You- a common go-to yuri for beginners for a reason, about a girl who believes she can't fall in love meeting a girl who wants to date her specifically BECAUSE she can't fall in love. Find out more about it and hear my thoughts here. It has a gorgeous anime that doesn't cover the complete story.
Doughnuts Under the Crescent Moon (sweet office lady romance, ace rep) *
Catch These Hands! (These two women were delinquents and rivals in high school, they meet up again, one reveals she was always into the other, she challenges her to a fight on the condition that if the other woman loses she'll date her. Lots of slapsticky fun and great for any lover of girl delinquents)*
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Run away with me, Girl (there's some abuse shown in this one, but it's a story about healing, the premise is these girls dated in high school, but one of the pressured herself "normal" and marry a man, that man turns out to be abusive, so when the former lovers reunite, they decide to run away together. It's got beautiful art and a well done story)*
The Moon on a Rainy Night (absolutely spectacular, explores the relationship between a hard of hearing girl and her closeted classmate, the characters are complex and the writing is so good!)
Kase-san And...- Starting with Kase-san and the Morning Glories, this is a very fluffy and sweet high school romance. It also has a short movie. (as the manga goes on they become college students, too)
The Two of Them Are Pretty Much Like This (slice of life about a voice actress and anime screenwriter who live together as a couple. Unfortunately the ending is a bit abrupt (and likely premature) but I love their relationship)*
My fave Otherside Picnic is great for scifi and (mild) horror lovers. It's Scifi creepypasta adventure yuri. It's a slow burn but does truly spectacularly deliver on the gay. Has an anime, it's not great, you should start with the novels. Wrote an article here. https://www.animefeminist.com/how-otherside-picnic-masterfully-uses-horror-to-explore-abuse-and-show-healing-queer-love/ *(v young adults, college students)
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The Guy She was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All: (A web manga about a girl who works at a record shop. Her classmate , Aya, wanders in but doesn't recognize her because she has her hair hidden with a hat and is wearing a face mask, and Aya assumes she's a guy. They bond over music and slowly start to get closer...and Aya's finds her heart is fluttering not only over this mysterious boy, but her female classmate that seems a lot like him...) It's going to get a physical release soon.
I Married my Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up (girl and her friend get married simply so her parents will stop bugging her about being single. You can probably guess where it goes from there) *
I Married my Female Friend (similar premise, except no parents involved, it's a platonic marriage they both agreed to with the promise they'll divorce if one of them falls in love. But one woman has decidedly not platonic feeling for the other that she's hiding from her, so It will likely turn romantic, it hasn't all come out here yet so I haven't finished it)*
Monthly in the Garden with my Landlord* (it didn't really hit with me but I might give it a shot again, it's solid despite the terrible title, a woman moves into a house and finds she'll be cohabitating with an idol) (Some more titles I haven't fully read that could appeal: After Hours*, Still Sick*, Cheerful Amnesia*)
My Cute Little Kitten (two roommates adopt a cat...and maybe fall in love?)*
I think all of those work as solid intro- though it does depend on what flavor you're looking for!
This article also covers some of these recs and some manga I didn't mention due to not having completely read it. so check it out: The Beginners Guide to Yuri Manga.
Here's some titles to try when you're a little more familiar with yuri (or you can try them now! I'm not your boss!)
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SHWD (action yuri that's taking forever to come out over here physically, featuring extremely muscular women fighting monsters. I think it was forced to end prematurely too)*
Kiss and White Lily for my Dearest Girl: (I'm only three volumes in, but it's really enjoyable. The main storyline is about two academic rivals, where one is determined to rank first in class, and the other is an effortless genius who becomes intrigued at the possibility of someone beating her. Honestly they have the kind of messy combative sexual tension I wish we'd see more often in yuri because it's so good. The story follows other couples too. However, big warning for some nonconsensual kisses in the first volume at least).
Sweet Blue Flowers/Aoi Hana- (This one is a little bit dated, and boy is the ending weirdly paced, but a lot still holds up imo. A painful and sweet coming of age tale, it also has an anime that's good but ends too soon.
One teenage characters backstory involves incestuous (older cousin) the perpetrator of which pulls the "oh no did I turn you gay? thing" but it's definitely framed as a bad thing. )
Yuri is My Job- a story about messy lesbians in a yuri-themed cafe, and how their real relationships differ from the personas they put on. Read more about it here. Big warning for sexual assault of a minor (by an adult villain) in volume 12. Has an anime covering early material.
456 notes · View notes
ham1lton · 7 months ago
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the talk.
pairing: lando norris x fellow driver’s sister!reader.
format: mixed media smau.
summary: when o/s asked you to apologise to lando she did not expect for you to start dating him? you decide to break the news over lunch at her favourite restaurant. we’ll see how that goes…
author's note: your favourite sisters on the grid are back! the baddest bitches. also you all voted on giving o/s a bf so keep an eye out for that. if you’re confused on the addition of o/s’s bff - read party in the u.s.a. for more clarification!
— part of the nepo sister universe —
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liked by oldersister, oldersisterbff and 367,691 others.
yourusername: beachtime!! also someone needs to teach those girls in the second slide some manners…. nasty 😒
oldersister: you’re just jealous.
-> oldersisterbff: she doesn’t understand us pookie bear….
-> yourusername: sometimes it shocks me that you’re both older than me and also considered as the best in your respective fields….
user7: the beach designs are so cute!!
user1: what i would give to have o/s gently put her leg over my arm…
-> user2: what i would give to gently put my leg over o/s/bff’s arm…
user8: you think you’re so slick with the soft launch…
-> oldersister: omg i almost didn’t see it…
-> yourusername: THANKS A LOT user8 😒
-> user8: my bad bae 😩‼️
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DINNER TRANSCRIPT BETWEEN OLDER SISTER L/N AND Y/N L/N
-> as detailed and described to her boyfriend LANDO NORRIS.
Y/N (monologue): so to start, i obviously allowed her to take us to a restaurant that she liked to get her in a good mood. i even get there early. i’m all ready, let be rephrase, i was all ready and early, when my sister walked in. she already was mad so i got a start on ordering my food so she’d have to pay the bill.
LANDO: you and your free dinners.
Y/N: keep talking and you’ll fund my ubereats for the next month. this is a monologue lando.
LANDO: got it babe. mouth zipped. no more words.
Y/N: okay so she sits down and gives me a glare. i’m like ‘oh my beautiful amazing sister who funds my eating habits. i wonder how i have annoyed you on this glorious day’.
Y/N as O/S: stop talking shit and tell me who you’re dating.
Y/N: oh no! my sweet glorious sister! i can’t tell you that! you might cut me off your credit card!
Y/N as O/S: i would never do that. i am a fair and sweet sister. i love you y/n and i will give you a lot of money to prove this.
Y/N: oh thank you! love you. then that’s the part where we hugged it out.
LANDO: has anyone ever told you that you should go into acting babe?
Y/N: yes! you think i have a future in it?
LANDO: yes! now tell me what really happened.
Y/N: i said i was dating you. she spat out her drink and started choking on something. we had to call the ambulance and take her to the hospital. she woke up and thought it was a nightmare. then i told her, she vomited and she fainted. to be honest…. i was expecting it to worse. that’s pretty tame. i think she likes you!
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liked by rollingstone, user67 and 1,283,892 others.
oldersister: thank you to rolling stone for photographing me as a part of their front cover. being interviewed in my own home seemed daunting but it was so seamless and fun.
we talked about betrayal, fashion and navigating being a barrier breaker. go read the full article on rolling stone’s website or in the physical march copy!
oldersisterbff: my best friend is so hot and sexy i love you 😍
-> oldersisterbff: hot, sexy and smart? what can’t you do bae?
-> oldersister: lots of things. like ending climate change.
-> oldersisterbff: i think you could 🤷🏼‍♀️
user17: yourusername hasn’t liked this… um…
-> user72: she doesn’t have to like every one of o/s’s post. you forget she actually sees her sister in person.
user455: i love listening to her thoughts. she’s so intelligent i love it.
-> user12: she has two degrees! one she got and an honorary one!
-> user23: unlike lando. does he even have his gcses?
-> user89: stop comparing the two lol. both of them have complained about how annoying it is.
-> user23: comparison is a part of the job. get over it.
user61: she’s so hot. need her sooo bad actually.
rollingstone: we loved having you o/s as our cover girl!
-> oldersister: i loved being your cover girl!
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liked by oldersisterbff, yourbff and 308,727 others.
yourusername: my bitch pose is NAYYYSSTY…don’t ever play with the cat…. that ELBOWWW…
landonorris: when you said you were hard launching me… this isn’t what i was expecting tbh.
-> yourusername: u look cute mwah 😘
-> landonorris: i’ll take anything you give me stink 🤤🤤
oldersister: just vomited actually…. trigger warning next time please.
-> oldersisterbff: i’m omw babe.
-> oldersister: hurry i can feel the light fading from my eyes…
-> yourusername: BOOOOOO!!! you are not florence pugh.
user56: is this the betrayal o/s was talking about in the rolling stone interview??? she’s so dramatic lmaoooo.
oldersister: this is your man?
-> yourusername: yesss 😍😍😍
-> landonorris: hey sister in law 😁
-> oldersister: blocked for harassment.
-> landonorris: NOOOOOOO 😭
user73: how she a nepo baby twice. got f1 connections through her sister and her boyfriend?
-> user89: not how nepotism works tbh….
user67: he looks so goofy lmaooo.
-> yourusername: good keep thinking that. more for me.
-> user67: girl i want you not him 😭
-> landonorris: nuh uh 🙄👎🏼 you can’t have her user67.
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taglist: @23victoria @luckyladycreator2 @mxdi0 @booksandflowrs @charlesleclercsonlywife @molten-m122 @casperlikej @nichmeddar @decafmickey @evie-119 @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar (wanna be removed? send an ask!)
— wanna be tagged in any future works? join my taglist! —
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emmasbrain · 7 months ago
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Miscommunication (the fun kind)
Part 1 | Part 2
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Warnings: slight alcohol consumption? i think that’s all, nothing NSFW in this one
Synopsis: Your good friend Penelope sees you in a bar and begs you to sit with her and her work friends. You realise you like one. She also realises you like one. She however, thinks you like the wrong one.
The moment Penelope spotted you, she gasped. “Oh my god!” You spun round on your seat on the bar towards her running over to you in unrunnable heels, a brilliant smile gracing her face and a surprised one falling to yours as you saw each other.
“Penelope?” You hopped off your bar stool and pulled her into a hug. “It’s been too long darlin’. I feel like we haven’t seen each other in years.” You gushed, definitely over exaggerating your circumstances.
“Didn’t we go for coffee last Thursday?” She giggles, and you see the familiar glint in her eye that she only got after a couple of margaritas.
“Like I said, years!” You giggled right back, and she held your hands, leaning in towards you more.
“Who are you here with?” She questioned, looking around.
You shrugged casually, “I came with some girls from work, but they all left with guys and I decided to drink my loneliness away… Except I haven’t actually had a drink yet because I’ve been sitting here debating whether I really want to drink alone.” Your words, though holding a little weight, came out with a laugh and a self deprecating sigh.
Penelope gave you a look, and you knew she was brewing something. “What if… you come sit with us?” Before you can ask questions or protest, she continues, “You know I’ve always wanted to introduce you to the team, which is who I’m here with, and it would be good for you too ‘cus it means you can drink not on your own.” She gives you puppy dog eyes, and clasps her hands together waiting for your answer.
You relent, deciding the sooner you had an interaction with her FBI friends the sooner it was over. You had heard some things, and they seemed lovely, but they were her friends and you had the feeling you wouldn’t be very welcome with your job as a journalist. “Okay fine, but you can’t mention my job. I don’t want them to hate me on the first impression.”
“It’s okay they know, I told them ages ago about what you do. Alright you stay here, I’ll go tell them and then I can introduce you.” She was practically buzzing, so excited you could see it in the air around her. She shuffled away happily, and came back to drag you over a moment later.
As you approached the group, she introduced you in order of where they sat around the table. “That’s JJ, Derek, David, Hotch, Emily, and Spencer. Everybody, this is my friend Y/N.” She smiles all big and goofy and then scrunches up her face in disappointment. “There’s no chairs left.”
You take this as an opportunity. “Well, I suppose that means I should g-“
“Here, you can have mine. I’ll grab one from over there.” Spencer quickly finds a solution, standing to walk over to an unused table and fetch another chair. You follow him with your eyes as he lifts it over. Doctor Spencer Reid. Penelope had mentioned the man on multiple occasions. Ever the problem solver, you gathered from her ramblings on the things he would do and say.
Penelope sits in the chair between JJ and Derek, and the latter lets his arm rest on Penelope’s shoulders. As you sit down in Spencer’s sacrificed chair, he pulls another one in between you and JJ, and you both awkwardly smile at each other before you look down to your hands in your lap. “Thank you.” You whisper to him.
“What for?” He whispers back.
“The chair.” You mumble, and he nods.
“It’s no problem.”
“Okay, I say we get some drinks. How bout it, pretty girl?” Derek's words snap you from your awkwardness, and you smile, realising he’s given you a nickname already.
“I am in dire need of a beer.” You reply, and Emily looks at you from your right.
“Beer, huh? I woulda coined you for a vodka redbull kinda girl. All for the thrills.” She looks at you with a smirk and you shake your head with a giggle.
“I’m normally a whiskey kinda girl actually, I get that from my parents. I only very rarely drink vodka, it just makes me want to make out with people.” The embarrassment soaks in the moment the words come out of your mouth and you realise you’ve just told a group of behavioural analysts that vodka makes you horny.
“Alcohol oftentimes does have the effect of making you sexually confident and can heighten feelings of affection and make you more open to try things sexually. One could assume that your specific set of hormones are just more affected by the chemicals in vodka in comparison to other alcohols.” Spencer pulls his lips into a straight line, and you giggle at his readily available information. Penelope wasn’t joking.
“Thanks, Doc.” You bump his shoulder, and he looks a little confused but mumbles a “No problem” anyway. As he looks away towards Derek and Penelope, you take the chance to study his features discreetly. The angle of his jaw perfectly contrasts the softness of his eyes, the honey brown colour almost sparkling within the dim lighting of the bar. His cheeks are tinged pink from the currently inaudible teasing from Derek, and there’s a little smile on his lips that you could almost envision yourself kissing.
Derek breaks you out of your head a second time. “Hey pretty girl, you wanna go get those drinks now?” He flashes you a grin and you smile, nodding.
“Yea let’s do it. Does everyone know what they want?” As you’re trying to split everyone’s orders between you and Derek, Penelope gives you a look that says “do you have the hots for my friend?” and you give her a look back that says “maybe..” she gasps and the whole table turns to look at her, making her realise that she’d turned the conversation into an out loud one now.
“You know what? Us girls can handle those drinks, Derek. Why don’t you have a seat.” She drags you up to the bar and orders quickly before she forgets, and then whips round to face you.
“You like him. I saw it on your face. You like him!!” She whisper shouts and you glance back to Derek and Spencer hunched over the table chatting. You smile.
“Look at him! Of course I like him, who wouldn’t like him? He’s simultaneously cute and hot and I swear men aren’t supposed to work like that.” You whisper shout back at her, and her smiles sadly.
“I wish I could set you up, but he’s taken. And his girlfriend is amazing so I can’t even be mad about it.” She sighs, and you slightly deflate.
“Oh man, I can’t believe the first time in years that I actually want a guy he’s taken. Just my luck, I suppose.” You laugh, and grab the drinks that have been sat on the bar. “Well, it was nice while it lasted.” You shrug your shoulders and head back over to the table with her, handing everyone their drinks and sitting back next to Spencer to sip your own.
After an hour or so, conversation was going a tad dry, and you decided to use an old icebreaker your college roommate had taught you to get things flowing again. “Okay, one after the other I want everyone to tell the group something embarrassing. It can be anything, as long as it’s about you.” Everyone nods in agreement, and Derek starts.
“There was this one time I was flirting with a girl while I was out with my mom. Now that was my first mistake, my mom comes over and starts talkin to this girl askin if she’s my girlfriend. I said momma I’ve only just met her, and she said ‘well then you better hurry up, this girl is far too beautiful for you to pass up’. Before I could even speak, the girl says ‘I think you’re too beautiful to pass up’. She was talkin to my mom! And I just thought hey maybe she’s just tryna get on moms good side, you know? You win over mom, you win over me. But then she spent 10 minutes flirting with my mother until I had to drag her away. My mom will not stop bringing it up just to mock me.”
Spencer cracked up beside you at the story, and you couldn't help laughing a little with him.
Penelope pipes in, “Tell them when this happened.” He grimaces.
“Last year.” He barely says it loud enough to hear, but you all catch it and it sends you all into a fit of laughter.
Rossi reminisces about the time he proposed to one of his ex wives, and she said no. In public. Then later in the day said yes, telling him she just wanted to embarrass him the way his public proposal had embarrassed her.
Hotch talks of the time he finished work early and decided to pick up Jack from school. The teacher had asked him if he was Jack’s grandfather, and he had to explain that he most definitely was not.
“I once hugged my friend from behind to tell her goodbye at a party. It wasn’t my friend.” Is all Emily gives for details. She grimaces at the sheer memory of it, and you can’t help the little smile that graces your lips.
“My turn then?” You question the group, and they nod. “I probably should’ve used this time to think of what I was gonna say. Well I suppose I’ll use the only one that’s currently present in my mind,” You turn to face Spencer, “I was gonna ask you out before Penelope had to drag me away and tell me you were taken. Which was slightly embarrassing for me in the moment, but as I’m saying this I realise I’ve just embarrassed myself even more.” You nod through your internal pain at how stupid you felt, and took a deep breath before trying to move on. Spencer looked too taken aback to let that happen.
“You were gonna ask me out? And Penelope told you I was in a relationship? Why would she do that?” He looks plain confused now, and you mirror his expression.
“I never told you Spencer was in a relationship. I told you Derek was in a relationship, because I thought he was the friend you said you liked! Wait. So when you said he was hot you meant Spencer?” Now even Penelope looked confused, although not exactly for the same reason you were.
“Yes! Of course I meant Spencer! No offence Derek, you’re lovely but you’re not my type.” You rushed, giving him a sheepish smile.
“And I am?” Spencer speaks again.
“Pretty much yea.” The smile he gives you at your words makes you look away nervously.
“So what you mean is that if you hadn’t been told I was taken I could have went on a date with you?” He’s looking inquisitively at your face now, tracing for signs of a lie as he waits for you to respond.
“You still could go on a date with me.” You suggest, with a little shrug and a smile that reaches your eyes.
“I’d like that.” He nods, slightly enthusiastic but trying to play it cool.
“Me too.” You nod with him. “I should probably be heading home, I have work I still need to catch up on. But I could give you my number and you could take me to your favourite place or something. Somewhere I can get to know you just from looking around.” You suggest, gathering your things and scribbling your number down on a spare napkin.
“That sounds good- great. That sounds great.” His eyes are filled with a mixture of excitement and something else you’re not sure about, but the look on his face makes you smile.
“Call me then.” You nod finally, getting up to leave. You give everyone their goodbyes, hugging them all lightly and giving Spencer a little wave.
Over the next few days the anticipation of his call is almost overwhelming. And when your phone begins to ring, an unfamiliar number popping up on the screen, you bite your nail before clicking the answer button. “Hello?”
“Hi.”
A/N: I don’t actually really like this, but it’s fine. I wanna do a part two, someone tell me to do a part two plsplsplspls. (May rewrite this once i’m not jet lagged and cramming it between studying but idk)
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shawtyfromdirtydocks · 24 days ago
Note
Soft dom! König remembering that black ! Fem ! Reader gave him permission to fuck her if he got horny while she was sleeping, and he takes the opportunity because he’s so hard ‘n needy that he can’t wait till she wakes up :(((
Ugh this is actually something I think about too often. To me König is like the most regular guy ever. He’s average. That’s just him. But yk we’re kinky bitches so just IMAGINE that level of ungodliness consuming the most ordinary person on the planet.
Impatience.
Cw: Somno, guilt, corruption if you squint, previously established consent, several moments of könig watching you sleep, P in v, no protection, established relationship, vanilla!König x kinky!Reader, AFAB!reader, intimate and kinda sappy at one point (I love this man)
Not proofread, might later
20+ DNI 20+ DNI 20+ DNI 20+ DNI 20+ DNI
König is a pretty vanilla guy (no pun intended) so of course he was a little taken aback when you brought this up.
He didn't even know that this was something people could be into.
Whenever it had gotten late and he really needed to get off- he'd always go back and forth with himself, trying to decide if he should take you up on your offer or not. Even though you gave full consent it made him feel guilty.
Eventually he'd just settle for his fist, fantasizing about you and how perfect you feel, wishing the grooves on his fingers were your comforting walls instead.
Not this time though.
You'd been busy with work. Spending sometimes days at the hospital at a time. Coming home in your scrubs, tired and in need of a hot shower.
He wouldn't dare ask to have sex when you were so tired even though he knew you'd say yes. He'd just feel too guilty. It made him feel selfish.
But when he saw your skin glow under the moonlight. Your full two toned lips parted so prettily, begging him to kiss them. Loose curls peaking from under your bonnet decorating your beautiful face. He couldn't help himself.
At first he was just stroking himself, watching you sleep. Doing his very best to ignore the building desire to be inside you. The feeling got so intense that he even started whining :((
But then he gave up. He needed you more than anything right now. You'll understand right? Of course you will, otherwise you wouldn't have gave him permission.
König took his time. Every caress and tug at your clothes gentle, careful to not wake you up. He knew how much you needed your rest and he'd just feel awful if he woke you up with his problem.
When he finally got you in the position he wanted you in he prepped you. What kind of man would he be if he just took what he needed without caring for your perfect body first?
He had fun doing it too. Reaching into his bedside drawer, pulling out a new lube he picked up the other day. Smearing it over your pussy with his thumb. Subconsciously smiling to himself whenever you reacted to him rubbing your clit while you slept.
Stroking himself as he spread your lips. The sight of you alone making him twitch in his palm. "M’Sorry.. I tried holding off for as long I could mein herz."
Slowly but surely, he pushed his fat tip past your small opening. He was no where close to bottoming out and he was already panting like a dog!
You were just so warm. And it's been a long while since he's been inside you. The feeling was practically brand new to him again.
It was hard to stop himself from just pounding into you right then and there. His grip on the back of your thighs tightened a little. Whimpering and grinding his teeth while he struggled to keep himself together.
After he finally calmed down, he slow stroked you. Head bowed and eyes pinched shut as if he was thanking whatever gods he believed in for being given such an opportunity.
Your sticky warmth hugged him so lovingly. It felt so right. The feeling of guilt that weighed heavily in his stomach was soon replaced by intense feelings of affection.
All he could think about was how much he loved and missed you. How could you not be awake to enjoy this with him? It’s so unfair. All he wanted was to hear you whine his name and feel you hold him close.
Since he couldn’t have that he retreated back into his mind. Jerking himself off with your sleeping body as he recalled some of his favorite moments of intimacy with you. The real intense and sloppy moments.
“You’re so perfect, schatz. So so perfect.” his voice fell on deaf ears. Honestly he was okay with that. König was starting to appreciate the level of privacy he had.
It was just him and his love for you. He appreciated the way your tits lightly bounced whenever his control slipped and his hips met yours a little too hard. He appreciated the way you tightened around him whenever he kissed down the middle of your pretty body. He appreciated the way you pouted when he whispered I love you.
And it felt like you were only getting wetter. Sticky slapping sounds bounced off of the walls and back into his ears but he was too deep in his fantasies to notice.
Then a hand pressed against his abdomen and he heard a whine. When his eyes snapped open he saw your sleepy face. Eyes sparkling under the cool light of the moon.
“König..?” You slurred, still barely awake. The small smile on your face didn’t go unnoticed.
The big man chuckled and leaned forward, spreading your legs farther to make room for his wide torso between them. He kissed the corner of your mouth and tucked a few curls back into the safety of your bonnet.
“Shh, my love. Get your rest, i’m just taking what I need.”
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mypoisonedvine · 2 years ago
Text
𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘧𝘶𝘭 || joel miller x reader
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 || joel wasn't looking for a follower, or a protégé, or an employee— whatever you're supposed to be— when he saved some dumbass kid from a couple runners. but he ended up with you anyways, and you swore to always be faithful to him... in every way.
𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 || 9.2k
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 || smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, very slight dacryphilia kinda?, a touch of degradation and dumbification in there, and virginity loss with some pain and one mention of blood), heavy age gap (not specified but the reader is absolutely an adult), insecure crybaby reader, unrequited love/pining, reader wants to fuck joel so bad it makes her look stupid (and we love that for her cause same), angst, tess getting kinda screwed over but only because it's absolutely necessary for the plot, emotionally repressed joel, mention of reader's parents being deceased (implied to be infected)
this fic does not contain spoilers for anything but minor details from episode one!
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They were doing that thing again— where they talked in front of you, as if you weren’t there.
“So we make the run tonight,” Tess decided, standing while Joel sat on the worn-out sofa with his hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees.  “We should be back by four, that’s when the FEDRA boys have their shift change, so we can avoid too much risk of getting caught.”
“What should I do?” you piped up.  They both looked at you with that oh yeah, she’s here glare and Tess sighed; she didn’t try very hard to hide her frustration with you, but at the same time, she was actually nice to you when she was in a good mood (which was rare).  Joel was less mean but also less nice— he stayed steady in his neutral-to-mildly-irritated state, and you figured if he wanted you to fuck off, he would’ve said so (probably in those exact words, too).
At the same time, they both instructed you flatly: “Keep watch.”
You sighed, shoulders sinking.  “Again?  Can’t I at least—?”
“You’re safer here,” Joel insisted.
“Yeah, and your gun is safer in the box under the bed, but it’s not gonna do shit to protect you if you never take it out,” you countered.
Tess scoffed.  “And what are you gonna do to protect us?”
“I wasn’t,” you admitted.  “You know I’m a great shot, but I wasn’t gonna try to shoot anybody.  I’m quieter than both of you.  I can get in and out better— and nobody’s looking for me.  Everybody knows you’re smuggling—”
“Not everybody,” Joel defended himself in a mumble.
“ — so if I do get caught, I can probably get out of a search,” you bargained.
“And what are you gonna do to get out of a search?” Tess smirked.  “Bat your eyelashes?”
That did sting, but you rolled your eyes and hoped you had effectively looked like it didn’t affect you at all.  “If implying that I’m pretty enough to get out of a search is supposed to be an insult, I can’t wait to hear one of your compliments, Tess,” you replied— but your voice was soft and almost shaky, not as confident as the comeback merited.  That summarized you pretty well: you had the will to be tough, but when it was time to really go for it, your body failed you and your hands got shaky and your eyes watered.  Almost anything could make you cry, Tess had already made fun of you for it; Joel just seemed to get really uncomfortable when you started crying, but you always did your best to hide it from him.  It just didn’t usually work.
Your whole face probably lit up when you caught Joel’s suppressed smile— did he think your joke was funny?  He hadn’t been smiling when Tess made fun of you, so it had to be what you said— or maybe he was thinking of something he would say if he cared enough to say it, some comment about how you could do more than that to get out of being searched.  He didn’t seem the type to make comments like that, but he was well aware what guards might let (or make) a girl do to avoid punishment.
“Whatever,” Tess decided, shaking her head, “you’re not coming with us, that’s the point.”
“Joel gets a say, too!” you blurted out.  “You can’t just pick for him that I’m not coming, he has to—”
“You’ll stay here,” he interrupted.  So much for getting Joel to let you go— you thought maybe he would side with you, for once.  Deflating, you nodded, and they stopped paying attention to you at the same time that you stopped paying attention to them.
Your mind wandered in times like this, when they were talking and it was clear that it didn’t concern you; Tess said once that you had an ‘overactive imagination’, but she hadn’t said it in a really mean way (like she said most things).  You didn’t want Joel to think that you were always daydreaming, but you couldn’t help it sometimes— you really just hoped that he didn’t know he was the subject of so many of your thoughts.
Truth was, he’d caught your eye long before he even knew you existed.  You’d seen him around, doing all those odd jobs he did to make ends meet, and thought he was… well, handsome, but not just that.  Mysterious.  Intimidating, though he didn’t exactly intimidate you— okay, he did, but not like he did everybody else.  He intimidated others because they were afraid he would hurt them; he intimidated you because you kind of wanted him to hurt you.  Not, you know, bad, just… maybe a hand around the neck or pinning you to a wall or something?
It wasn’t in spite of your inexperience that you had thoughts like that— it was because of it; you had been lonely for a long, long time, and maybe it was just fantasy, but you always wanted someone like Joel.  You wanted someone to take care of you, protect you.  You were just guessing that he was capable of that, but he proved it when you met for the first time.
It wasn’t exactly a meet-cute, or even just a pleasant way to meet; you were short on rations, because you’d given most of yours away to Mrs. Davis who was too old and weak now to earn any extra for herself, and someone offered to pay you ten if you snuck something they could sell out of the old mall in the QZ… well, that went about as poorly as anyone would’ve expected.
You asked Joel what he was doing there, after he’d saved you from the runners, but he refused to tell you.  Either way, it was the best luck you ever had that he showed up and fought them off.  For a moment, he’d held you close to him as he pulled you away from the Infected; you wished, later, that you hadn’t been too terrified to appreciate that.
Ever since, you’d sworn yourself to him— in more ways than one, but he only knew about the main one: you wanted to assist him however you could, figuring after he saved your life that you should dedicate it to his service.  Well, Joel had never been interested in your assistance, or anything else about you.  It was actually Tess' idea to let you stay: "if she wants to help, let her do it for free," she whispered to Joel, and he shrugged, and he did.  That was how it ended up like this: you were the squeaky, wobbly third wheel of Joel and Tess’ operation, more often than not doing the least important work if not filling your time with essentially goose-chase tasks they invented to keep you occupied.  Keep watch and listen to the radio were your biggest assignments; just wait here was another common one, when they were too lazy to call it one of the other two.
Tess left a little while later, and Joel laid down on the sofa.  You broke away from your thoughts and tried to make yourself useful— you got up to rinse the dishes, humming a random tune to yourself as you worked.  You were already back inside your head, wondering if you should tell Joel it was a song you’d heard on his radio and had stuck in your head ever since.  Probably not worth it; it usually didn’t go well when you tried to talk about things like that.  Joel and Tess talked about before a lot— well, it wasn't that often, because it wasn't very productive to talk about it.  But they talked about it occasionally and you never had anything to say.  Once, you tried to weigh in: they were reminiscing on concerts before the outbreak, bands and artists they remembered, and you chirped about how "I read about that in a book once!"
They both glared at you, and you didn't say anything else.  But you didn’t take it too personally, they just didn’t want to feel old— but you didn’t think either of them were old!  These days, old wasn’t a matter of years, it was really just about usefulness— like poor Mrs. Davis, she was old, she couldn’t do much for herself anymore— and they were both… actually, they were both significantly more useful than you.  That made you sad.  But at least Joel had helped you get better with guns— not that he ever let you carry one. 
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Joel broke the silence as you washed his favorite mug.
“I know,” you said back, voice light and chipper.  “You don’t have to.”
You felt his eyes linger on you for a moment after that, but he didn’t say anything else.
~
Though they had decided already that you weren’t joining them on the run, you ended up there— mostly by happenstance— when Joel and Tess met with the buyer who wanted half of what they managed to bring back.  Not many people in the QZ could afford that kind of contraband, so it made sense that it was one of the FEDRA soldier’s bankrolling this.  They were by no means rich, but they had a lot of pull and could provide all sorts of ration cards and promises to look the other way if future issues arose.  He couldn’t guarantee safe movement out and back in through the boundaries of the city, but he at least promised to look the other way in any future run-ins with the law.
“So that’s it: you’ll leave at eleven, you’re back by four, and you bring me my share the next day during my break?” the soldier confirmed.
“Yep,” Tess agreed.  “Quick and painless.  Hopefully.”
You didn’t expect the man’s eyes to land on you, but you didn’t particularly care for it.  "Is your little lap dog coming, too?" he smirked, glancing at Joel after he was finished raking his stare over you.
Your face got hot instantly, with shame and confusion.  "I— I'm not in his lap," you denied, "that's not— we don't—"
“No,” Joel interrupted firmly, “she’s not coming.”
There was an awkward silence, the place where he might’ve said and she’s not my lap dog, if he cared much about the accusation.  Tess seemed to be hanging onto that silence nearly as tightly as you were.
“Whatever,” the soldier finally brought everyone’s attention back to the conversation, “just meet me here tomorrow at half past one, and we’ll see what you’ve got.”
You were still thinking about that conversation that night— while you were keeping watch, like Joel had asked you to.  It was really boring; you spent most of the time on the couch, reading a book you’d bought off someone for a few rations.  After a while, your curiosity got the better of you, and you started snooping around Joel’s apartment.  There wasn’t much to look at… he didn’t own much, just a few shirts— actually, you thought those jeans he always wore might be his only pair…
Your search led you to his bed.  Even with no one here to see you do it, you were a little embarrassed to lean in and take a whiff of his pillow— but it was totally worth it.  It smelled just like him, that warm piney kind of scent he had; in times like this, not many people could afford to smell nice, but Joel could.  Not to say that he was the type to splurge on all the nicest stuff, you were pretty sure he didn’t even own cologne, but he owned shampoo and deodorant, so that put him in the 80th percentile for hygiene in the Boston QZ.
But it wasn’t just those products you smelled on his sheets— there was something quintessentially Joel to it all, something impossible to define but incredibly addictive.  It was instinctual, the way you got in his bed and curled up in those sheets, burying yourself in the comfort of him.  It was so easy to imagine how he might hold you, now that you were here— all you were missing was his strength, his weight, slow and steady breaths behind you as he drifted to sleep…
You woke up when you heard the door shut.  Startled into sitting up, you were hoping you’d have time to get out of his bed before he saw you— but he was already standing there, staring at you.  He was just a shape in the dark, so you couldn’t see his face, but you heard the exasperated sigh.
“I thought I told you to sleep on the couch,” he said.
“R-right, sorry,” you coughed, recalling last time this happened with a pained wince.
“Better yet, I thought I told you to keep watch!”
“You know you just say that,” you mumbled, “so you can keep me away from the real work.”
He didn’t say anything, probably because he knew you were right— but even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t, because Tess walked in a second later.  “Can’t believe he tried to stiff us,” she was saying as she walked in, half-laughing in frustration.  “Well, yeah I can,” she added a second later.
Her attitude changed when she saw you in the bed.  “I— I’ll go back to my—” you started, but you ended up just getting up and leaving in a hurry before you could really finish your thought.
Wiping a small tear from under your eye quickly, you walked out of Joel’s apartment and started for your own bunk across the city— even though it was more likely than not that somebody would hassle you for walking around during curfew.
Yes, if you had a little more self-respect, you would just stop hanging around those two and find some other work to do, but Joel had done something for you that you could never repay and never forget.  He didn’t have to love you the way you loved him— and you’d been sure for a while that he never would— but couldn’t he at least be a little nicer?  You wouldn’t feel right being anywhere but at his side, no matter how much he made it seem like he never wanted you there at all.
~
Honestly, you did consider not going back the next morning— but you figured they might actually need you for the next part.  Okay, not need, but they could at least use you for something: after smuggling anything in, you need a fence, someone to pawn this stuff off.  Joel and Tess did a decent job of keeping a low profile, but it was even easier to do so when they had someone like you moving contraband around Boston’s population.
So, after a few hours of sleep on that radically uncomfortable cot, you decided to head back to Joel’s place.  The sun was just above the horizon by this time, but only the people working early shifts for their rations were up now; you liked the city best when it was quiet like this, but then again, you liked almost everything better quiet.
Usually, Joel’s apartment was the same way.  But when you walked in, the energy was completely different than you were used to.  Where you’d normally find Tess counting up the score while Joel sipped on coffee (or liquor, depending most on the hour), instead you walked in on what was clearly a lover’s quarrel.
The thing was, this was not your typical argument— they were doing it Joel and Tess style, which is to say, as repressed as possible.  In fact, they weren’t even talking when you walked in, but just the way they were standing was indicative of the discomfort they were clearly trying not to acknowledge.
Tess was at the window, arms crossed, looking at the view; and you knew that was a bad sign, because there was no view to be had, the QZ was an eyesore and she complained about it all the time.  Joel was sitting at the table, facing the other way, his hand squeezing his own fist instead of the handle of his mug— it didn’t look injured, but his face still had a hint of pain on it.
“I’m sorry—” you mumbled, not sure what you were apologizing for yet, but Tess interrupted you.
“I’ll go,” she decided, walking over to the table.
“Okay,” Joel agreed, not looking at her.
Well, you were no relationship expert, and you didn’t even know what they were arguing about… but you knew that was pretty cold.  “So that’s all you’re gonna say to me?” Tess prompted him, her tone tight and her eyes red.
You kept your head low, as if that would hide the fact that you could clearly see and hear all this.  
“Yeah,” Joel decided, not as aloof as usual; it reminded you of how he usually spoke to you, that frustration, but it was definitely different.  More… exhausted.  “Yeah, it is.”
Tess put her weight predominantly on one leg, her hips shifting, as she let out a scoffing sort of breath.  For a moment, she looked at you; you looked back at her shyly from beneath your brows before looking away.  Why would she look at me right now?
Shaking her head, she left, mumbling to herself but you couldn’t make it out.  The door slammed behind her.  Joel sighed next.
“Everything okay?” you asked sheepishly, twisting your boot on the floor to watch the shapes it made in the thin layer of dust.
“Clearly,” he insisted, and the sarcasm was obvious though his voice was neutral.  You could tell he didn’t want you to prod more— anyone who knew Joel for two minutes would know that— but you still chewed your lip as you wondered what you should do.
Your attention turned to the stacks of contraband on the table; most of it was perfectly legal material to own, just not legal to acquire from outside the city’s perimeter.  “Looks like a good haul this time,” you noticed, hoping a change of subject would soothe him a little.  Maybe it did, but he didn’t show it.  He just kept squeezing his fist, and you gently sat down across from him at the table— and you started doing what you figured you should, going through what they’d brought back and starting to figure how much you could get for it.
For a while, he entertained that conversation, though with as short of responses as possible.  Not even a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, just hums and grunts that got the point across.  You could tell he was thinking, but you could also tell he didn’t want to be— that he’d rather forget about all that.  For once, he was struggling to do that.
It scared you to imagine doing something he so obviously didn’t want you to do, but you knew you couldn’t ignore it forever.  “What made her so upset?” you asked softly, finally.
He paused for so long that you thought he was just ignoring your question, but he did eventually say something.  “She told me something I wasn’t ready to hear,” he answered, “and… and I guess I said the wrong thing.”
“What did you say?”
“Actually, I didn’t say anything,” he admitted with a thin laugh.  “But, I said nothing in the wrong way.”
"... Do you think she'll come back?" you pressed, and his sigh was answer enough.
You had to wonder if he'd make you a real partner in all this now.  Probably not, right?  He thought so little of you before, that wouldn't change just because Tess was out.
“I’m sorry,” you decided.
“It’s not your fault,” he promised.  “It was me.”
You didn’t press on that, already thankful and pleasantly surprised by how much he’d shared.  He stood up a moment later, leaving the table and moving to the kitchenette so he could make some coffee; oddly, that comforted you.  Like things were going to go forward now, like life could be normal again and he would still drink his coffee.
For a while, it was quiet— just how you liked it, and how you figured he liked it, too.  He was humming a song at one point but you didn’t think he realized he was doing it.
It was so quiet, in fact, that when you went to lay on the sofa later, you ended up accidentally dozing off.  You couldn’t say how long you were asleep— you were pretty underslept, but it didn’t feel like more than an hour— just that you were awoken to the sound of movement in the kitchen area.
Sitting up, you tilted your head when you saw Joel had begun packing up the contraband haul— well, half of it.  “What are you—?” you began to ask, but then you saw the time, and you remembered; but he answered you anyways.
“Our buyer’s on his break now,” Joel announced as he stuffed a pack of bandages into his bag.  “I said I would meet him to show him what we got.”
“I can go with you!” you announced.  “You know, if Tess isn’t—”
“It’s fine,” he insisted, “I can do it myself.”
“Joel, please,” you pressed, “I promise I’ll do whatever you need me to, I just wanna help—”
“I need you to stay here,” he frowned.
Some things never change, huh?  “Why don’t you just let me go?  Let me help you?” you whimpered, lip shaking as you started to cry.  You hated yourself for it, but you knew you couldn’t stop it.
There was a pause before he responded.  “I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Joel explained, but you doubted that was the real reason he didn’t want you to come.  “It only takes one of us, you’re better off here.”
“Tess was gonna go!” you reminded him, getting more upset.  "I know I'm not…" you trailed off as you tried not to cry too much or too loudly.  "I can't do what she can— I'm not strong…"
He sighed as he knelt down in front of you, resting his hand on your knee.  You peeked out from behind your fingers, but looked down again.
"I'm not— I'm not smart, either," you whimpered.  "I don't know anything, about before, about now—"
"That's not true," he mumbled, but you weren't finished yet.
"Nobody knows why you even keep me around, I sure don't," you shrugged, dropping your hands defeatedly, hot tears running faster down your face and dripping onto your pants; his hand reached up and wiped your cheeks with a gentleness you never knew he had.  “M’not… I’m not tough, like you guys…”
"You know what you are, little girl?" he replied quietly.  "You're good.  You're sweet.  Me an' Tess, we need someone like you to keep us from bein' sad old assholes all the time…"
He sighed, and you thought was done talking, until he spoke again, softer.
"I need someone like you."
Your heart swelled, and light filled your chest, until you had just enough confidence to finally blurt out what you'd been holding in for months: "Joel, you should know that I always—"
"Shh," he soothed, nodding.  "I know."
Your face got hot instantly again, and your heart sank.  "I think everybody knows," you mumbled awkwardly, giving him a half-smile through the drying tears.  "But I thought— it's just that you never—"
“I couldn’t,” he insisted.  “You understand that?  I couldn’t, not with you—”
“Why not?” you snapped.  “Why can’t you?”
“If you don’t know why, you’re more hopeless than I thought,” he frowned.
“I know— I know I’m… a lot younger than you…” you mumbled, almost not wanting to say it in case he actually hadn’t noticed that.  “I know you think I’m not very mature and stuff… but that shouldn’t matter when you really love someone—”
“Woah, hey,” he coughed, “love?  Sweetheart, you’ve got a crush—”
“No!  Don’t tell me how I feel,” you snapped, surprising both of you with your sudden ability to stand up to him.  “You can tell me what to do but not what to feel.”
“Okay,” he softened up, “fine.  That’s fair.  But it’ll pass—”
"I've never loved anybody before," you whimpered, "and I'm never gonna love anybody like I love you.  I know that!  I know you think I'm just a stupid kid who doesn't understand love, but I know that I really love you!  Okay?  So just… just stop talking!  Doesn’t need to take this long for you to reject me, geez…”
There was a pregnant pause, you were too caught up in your own frustration to really notice it: the way he looked to the side, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment.  You weren’t expecting him to say anything after that, so it nearly startled you when he spoke.  “It was last night, after you left,” he explained.  “I— I thought about telling you to come back, figured you’d be safer on the couch than walking back across the city at that time…”
Wrapping your arms around your chest, you smiled a little imagining that, but you knew you couldn’t have taken him up on that offer: it would’ve killed you, trying to sleep on that sofa while Joel and Tess shared the bed.
“She told me not to,” Joel continued.  “That’s… that’s how it started, I guess…”
“That girl’s so obsessed with you,” Tess laughed lightly, toying with Joel’s lapel.  “It’s cute, really.  I mean, it’s sad— but it’s cute.”
“Hm,” Joel said first, not really listening— it took him a second to properly react.  “Why is it sad?” he asked when her words processed completely.
“‘Cause she thinks she might actually have a chance,” Tess explained.
That was it, what he did wrong; he sees it now, in retrospect, but at the time he figured saying nothing was his safest bet.  Apparently, he didn’t have to say anything.
“Shit,” Tess said suddenly, moving instantly from shock to anger.  “Are you fucking serious?”
“What?” Joel spat.
“You know fucking what,” she returned sharply.  “That look— you looked away.”
“Okay?  So?” Joel tried to defend himself, but he knew that she knew now— believe it or not, he really wasn’t much of a liar.  Especially with her.
“She’s a goddamn fetus, Joel,” Tess reminded him.  “She hasn’t seen a hundredth of the shit we’ve seen, she hasn’t lost anyone—”
“Lost her parents,” Joel corrected.
“Well, we all lose our parents,” Tess rolled her eyes, “that’s part of life.”
Not the way she lost them, Joel wanted to add, but he was going back to his original plan of saying nothing.
“She’s not like us,” Tess insisted.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Joel decided.
That was the point of no return; because Tess had never thought of you as competition, she barely even thought of you at all, but if innocence was something he wanted… then the competition was already over before it even started.  The silence was heavy, more sad than angry, and Joel knew he really fucked up because he’d never really seen Tess speechless before.  Is it bad that he didn’t regret it, though?  Maybe he could’ve handled things better, but telling her the truth couldn’t be wrong.  It’s not like he’d been hiding it, really— he never even acknowledged it himself, not often.
“I can’t believe you,” she shook her head, and shame twisted in his gut.  “Part of me always— not always, I guess, but part of me wondered.  Sometimes the way you looked at her…”
As she trailed off, Joel looked down, too afraid for her to look in his eyes now.
“You’d do anything to keep her safe,” she said instead of finishing that last thought.  “I told myself you didn’t look at me like that because you knew I could protect myself.”
“I do,” he promised.
“So what do you want?” she asked point-blank.  “Something you can protect, or something you don’t have to?”
“And what did you say?” you asked hurriedly.
“I told her what I wanted,” was all he replied, and your heart skipped.  “And that’s… that’s why she left.”
Joel nodded slightly, looking away.  But you reached out and touched his face, turning it back towards you.  Impulsively, you leaned forward and kissed him; it took all the courage you had, and a hand on his shoulder for balance, but you felt him kiss you back after a moment.  It was gentle, for how sudden it was, and you sighed as his hand moved higher up your leg.  
You were still crying, because of course you were, but he didn’t mind as much as you’d worried: he only wiped your tears away, holding onto your face, standing up and pulling you with him.
“I love you,” you whispered as he embraced you, wanting to say it a thousand times now that it wasn’t the worst-kept secret in Boston.  “I love you, Joel—”
“I know,” he promised, whispering back into the kiss which got deeper with each passing moment.  “I know, darlin’.”
That was enough for you— that was plenty: the way he kissed you, and held you, calling you darlin’ in that rough-yet-gentle voice… you were weak already, melting into his touch, ready to give him anything.
In fact, he had to put a hand on your shoulder and gently push you away to get you to calm down, and your face heated up as you realized how eager you’d been.  “Don’t need to get so worked up, m’gonna take care of you now, okay?”
“You always take care of me,” you noticed.
“A different way,” he explained.
Just the way those brown eyes darkened, just the way he said that made your thighs clench against each other.  “Y-you’ll miss the meeting with the buyer,” you realized.
“Fuck,” Joel grumbled, and you smiled a bit.  “Waited this long and now I’ve gotta fuckin’ leave you again.”
Your hand rested on his chest, the soft flannel of his shirt transmitting some of the warmth of his body, and you looked up with him with wide, wet eyes.
“I know you hate waitin’ here, but… I always liked it,” he admitted, his voice softer yet deeper.  “I always liked knowing you were here, waiting for me…”
Your heart swelled.  “Y-yeah— I didn’t mind waiting for you so much,” you admitted in return, “just didn’t want you to think that’s all I was good for.”
He kissed your temple, making your chest flood with warmth.  “I know,” he promised.  “You’ll be here when I get back, won’tcha?  Can’t disappear on me now.”
“I won’t, I’ll be here,” you assured, turning your face to peck his cheek in return.  It seemed to surprise him, like he hadn’t had tenderness of that sort in a long time.
~
Funny how you’d waited for him all night before, but that half hour felt longer than all of them combined.  You were quite sure you knew what he meant before— about how he would take care of you in a different way— and it put you on edge all afternoon.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d kissed you, about his hands pulling you closer.  Or his eyes: if he’d ever looked at you like that before, you hadn’t noticed (which was probably what he intended).  
For how much time you spent wondering what you would do, what you would say, when he returned, you ended up not doing much of either: he was on you the moment he stepped in the door, though that was sort of what you’d been betting on when you decided to strip down to just your underwear and wait for him like that.  Not that you minded the idea of him, you know, tearing your clothes off like one of those romance novels— you just didn’t like the idea of having to wait any longer than you already had and this shirt had way too many buttons.
He did take a moment to stare you down when he came back, to appreciate your nakedness, and despite imagining showing yourself to him many times before, you felt a little self-conscious with his eyes just piercing through you like that: you didn’t cover yourself, ignoring a slight instinct to do so, but you did wrap your arms over your stomach and cross your legs as you sat on his bed.
Waiting for him to say something— or, possibly, waiting for yourself to find some courage to speak— you were a little taken aback when he grabbed you and kissed you.  And you realized, as his lips moved with yours even harder, deeper, needier than before, that there was nothing else to say.
He climbed on top of you on that bed, laid you down on it gently, as his weight pressed you down into the mattress.  You could've sworn you heard him growl when he rocked his hips against yours, a firm bulge in his jeans pressing right up to where heat had gathered between your legs.
Fingers weaving in his hair, you hummed as you did all you could to keep him close, as if he might just disappear if you didn’t hold him near to you.  But he didn’t seem like much of a flight risk, considering his tight grip on you— so tight it could leave marks, which you hoped it would.  You needed more than just memories of this.
“Tell me this is what you want,” he demanded, his voice breathless yet somehow not weak at all.  “Need to know you want this.”
“Fuck, Joel, f’course,” you promised— wasn’t it obvious?  It probably was.  But you could understand if he was still fighting back some guilt; you just wanted to do everything you could to help him forget about that.  “So bad,” you continued, “for so long…”
“Since I saved you?” he assumed, his teeth grazing your lip like a threat to bite down harder— a threat that made you throb from the inside out.
“Before,” you admitted, smiling sheepishly.  
“Didn’t even know me before,” he noticed, raising an eyebrow.
“Saw you around sometimes—” god, am I blushing as hard as it feels like I am? — “thought maybe you could… you know…”
Protect me.  Hold me.  Take care of me.  And fuck me like the world is ending even though it already did.
He smirked at you proudly, leaning in to kiss your neck this time, following some invisible trail that made you even more sensitive to the touch of his lips; after he kissed right under your ear, he whispered to you.
“Then just go ahead and take what you want, darlin’.”
After a shiver ran over you, so strong you thought it might never end, your hands shot down between you so you could get to work on his belt and fly; you felt his smile against your skin, then his teeth a moment later, as his hand rubbed the curve of your waist gently.
Both of you gasped when your fingers wrapped gently around his cock, for different reasons.  The skin was so smooth, it was hard to believe something this soft and silky was part of Joel— and it was hot, or maybe your fingers were just cold, but you hoped that didn't bother him.
He was already starting to move his hips just a bit, rocking into your touch, and you hummed when he suddenly grabbed your hand to force it to press firmer against himself.  "You thought about touchin' me like this before?" he asked in a voice that was breathy and low— you loved hearing the pleasure in his voice.
"Y-yeah," you admitted shyly; when he let your hand go, your touch wandered, your hands sliding up under the bottom of his shirt so you could feel the skin there— the firm muscle, the thin scars, the graying hairs that formed a trail down his stomach…
Grabbing your wrists, he pinned them down above your head, and you let out a joyful whine.  "Keep those there," he ordered, and you nodded as you watched him intently.
His hands traced down your body, making shivers run all over your skin; how could a man with so much strength touch you so delicately?
He purred as his fingers ran down to your panties, toying with the edge of the fabric before carefully pulling them down your legs.  You tried not to wiggle too much, but your hips were desperate for some friction, for some attention from him— they didn't have to wait long, though.  He groaned at the sight as he parted your legs, grabbing himself to rub his fat head through your folds.  "Fuck," he mumbled, your channel clenching on nothing as you saw how far apart his tip forced your swollen lips, "so wet for me already, bet I'll slide right in…"
Your back arched with a moan just imagining that, and he pushed your stomach down flat with his free hand so you wouldn't angle too far away from him, laying his body atop yours.  Though you tried to stay still, you couldn’t stop shaking as he lined himself up; it felt surreal, it felt hyperreal— his skin against yours was unlike anything you could’ve imagined.
You’d sort of wondered if he’d say something before he put it in, maybe a quick you ready? or even here it comes which would’ve been stupid but an appreciated warning nonetheless.  Instead, he just looked at your face carefully, and pushed inside.  It was sudden, sharp; your whole body tensed up and you sucked in a breath before biting your lip.
He only made it halfway in, struggling against how tight you were.  You were doing everything you could not to give away your pain, but he must've seen it in your expression.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.  "I'm hurting you…"
"No— Joel, please don't stop—"
You wrapped your legs around his hips to try to keep him inside, but he pulled out most of the way and looked down— and you winced when he saw the blood.  "Baby, you… are you— is this your—?  Fuck, why didn't you say something?"
"You wouldn't have done it with me if you knew it was my first time," you explained with a whimper.
"No, baby— I just would've taken my time with you, s'all," he sighed, "would've helped you— sweetie, it didn't need to hurt like that…"
Clutching tighter at his shirt, you pulled him down into a needy kiss. "Hurt me more, Joel," you pleaded into it with a breathy whisper, "do whatever you want to me.  I'm yours— that's all I want, just to be yours."
He kissed you back, slow but passionate; but, much to your dismay, he pulled out and sat up.
"No, Joel, I'm sorry," you whined, "I'm sorry— I didn't mean to lie, I'm so sorry, I promise I can be good!  M'gonna be really good for you!"
But he just shook his head, and you bit your quivering lip as tears ran down your temples.  He smiled, just a little.  "Such a crybaby," he scolded you softly.  "What am I gonna do with you, little girl?  You can't even keep yourself together."
He leaned down again, but he slid his knees down on the bed so he could position his face between your legs.  He kissed your inner thigh first, and you jumped because it tickled.
Then he held your hips, running his thumbs over your skin soothingly, and you tried not to squirm too much as he looked up at you with those dark eyes— much darker than before.  “You want me to taste you?” he asked, like it was your idea or something.
“Uh, yeah,” you mumbled sheepishly, and he actually laughed for a moment.  
“Yeah?” he repeated.  “Could you be a little more specific?”
Oh— he wants me to beg.  “Um— please?  Taste me, Joel…”
He smiled, but not like a haha funny smile or an oh that’s nice smile— a really dirty kind of smile, even though his teeth were actually in better condition than most out here.  “Okay, baby,” he agreed.
He was subtle about it at first, just giving gentle kisses all around; you felt… exposed, even more than you had with his face between your legs before.
“Is that alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than the last time you heard it.
“Y-yeah,” you choked, clearing your throat.  “Don’t… don’t stop, please…”
When he got back to it, he was much more aggressive— long, slow licks between your lips, sloppy kisses with his eyes shut tight; and you whined as you held on tighter to the sheets.  You didn’t realize how hard you were shaking until his grip on your thighs was bruisingly tight.  And as he held you down, he just dug in deeper: every time you thought he’d stop escalating the intensity of it all, he just did it more— he just did everything more— until you couldn’t control your moans and gasps anymore.
His tongue was the fucking devil; he slid it inside you and your eyes rolled back.  He sucked greedily on your clit until your hips bucked uncontrollably, moaning against your skin just enough that you could hear it over your own shameless cries.
"Joel, fuck, how are you—?  Oh god—"
"Mm?" he encouraged you to finish your thought without breaking away from you.
"How does that feel so good?" you sobbed.  "Oh my god— please don't stop, never stop, oh fuck!"
All he was doing was flicking his tongue over your bud, such a small interaction with a tiny little organ, and your whole body was shaking.  Reaching down and grabbing his hair, you didn't mean to tug on it so hard but you also didn't expect him to moan deeply when you did.  
His mouth moved a little higher, focusing on the bud you were sure had never been this swollen or this sensitive.  Doing so freed your opening, and one of his thick fingers prodded at it.  "Please," you panted, wanting any part of him to be inside you again.
He pushed it in, the roughness of his skin creating the perfect friction on your delicate walls.  You were waiting to feel his knuckle against you, but instead he only put it in maybe halfway, not very far at all.  It didn’t make much sense to you, until he started to rub one place just inside and a gasp instantly inflated your chest.
“Oh—” you choked, and he was licking harder on your clit at the same time that he added a second finger; you’d never felt anything like it before.  “Joel!” you squealed, hating how girlish it sounded but helpless to the control he had over your body with just two fingers and his tongue.
His rhythm wasn’t all that fast but it was relentless, the exact tempo you needed for that pleasure to build and build, toes curling and vision getting all spotty— you tried to look down at him sometimes, but your head wanted so badly to tilt back and let everything go black.
“I— oh, fuck— I’m gonna— fuck, Joel!” you sobbed, grabbing on tighter to his hair; you took one glimpse at it, and when you saw the scattered silver hairs peeking out from between your fingers, it just made you even more overwhelmed.
He hummed and looked up at you, encouraging you— his fingers pumped faster and faster suddenly, and when it hit, you felt like your whole body was going numb.  It started where he was touching you, but then a moment later it was in your head, then it was just running all over and you were too weak to do anything but give into it.
Suddenly it became too much, and the hand that had been holding him down by his hair was suddenly pushing him away; you blinked away the spots in your vision to catch a glimpse of him with that beard soaked in you, but his fingers hadn’t stopped yet.  “Oh… ohhh my god…” you whined, breathing harder than you could ever remember breathing before, your head getting all dizzy and cloudy as he smirked up at you and continued fucking you with his hand.
Your hole was pulsing, flexing over and over, waves of slick leaking out until you could feel the puddle spreading under you.  Your cheeks burned with humiliation, even though he kept praising you as his fingers milked everything from your swollen spot.  "Good girl, good girl," he said over and over, "fuck, good job, soak the sheets, baby— soak my fingers, keep going…"
"Joel," you sobbed, desperate for some relief from the overwhelming sensation.  He didn't really stop, just slowed down a lot, but he kept twisting his fingers and rubbing that one place until your quivering body collapsed completely onto his mattress.  And then he went on for just a little bit longer after that.
Then he stopped.  When you thought you might fucking pass out.
He climbed up your body and brought his two soaked fingers to your slack lips.  
"You want a taste, too, baby?" he purred.
You dutifully opened your mouth and did your best to clean his fingers off, sucking and licking as he hummed a bit; his eyes got a little darker as he felt your tongue run all over his rough fingers.
"What do you think?" he prompted when he pulled his fingers away, and you swallowed as you made a little face.
"I dunno if I like it," you admitted nervously.  "Kinda sour."
"Really?  I think your pussy's fuckin' delicious."
Your face flushed, but you didn't say anything else because he was reaching down to hold his cock again— and your heart started racing.
"Ready to do this the right way?" he prompted, and you nodded eagerly.  "S'gonna feel so much better, now you're all ready for me.  Ready for something this big inside ya— but it might still sting at first, okay?  Just hold onto me tight."
That you did, tighter than you thought you could— apparently you were stronger than you realized, especially considering that orgasm nearly took you out a minute ago.  But you had to hold on that tight as he began to push that fat head inside you, stretching you so wide before he'd even gotten the ridge of it past your opening.  It didn't sting like before, or at least not as much, but it was still completely overwhelming.  You forgot to breathe until he was halfway in: you gasped out his name, reminding yourself he was inside you and above you and everywhere, everything.
"See how much— fuck— how much easier it is now?" he grunted, sliding into you slowly until his hips met yours.  "See how you're takin' all'a me?  God damn, still tight as hell, though."
You were delirious already, he hadn't even moved yet.  You didn't think it could get much better than his mouth on you, than coming because of him, but this?  This perfect stretch, this addictive friction, knowing he was completely inside you and that he liked how you felt?  This was ecstasy, bliss.  And he hadn't even fucking moved yet.
"Gonna have a hard time being gentle with you now," he admitted with a growl beside your ear.  "You've got one of those perfect little pussies that just needs to be fucked hard— suckin' me in, just beggin' for it rough and fast."
"Joel," you whined, "fuck me however you want, please… I can take it, I swear, I want you so bad…"
Still, when he moved, it was slow and patient.  Too goddamn slow.
"Fuck," you sobbed, back arching up off the bed as he carefully savored every detail of you.  "Fuck, Joel, I can't— I can't believe you're— I can't believe it's you.  I wanted you so much I couldn't fucking breathe."
He smiled at you, and leaned in to kiss your neck; you let out what could only be described as a joyful whimper.  “Wanted you too,” he finally admitted.  “Tried not to, you’re so young… jus’ couldn’t help it after a while.”
"Faster," you whined, "please, fuck, please please—"
"You are so goddamn spoiled, you know that?" Joel grunted— but then he did it, he fucked you even faster than you'd imagined.  His thrusts were still deep and long, but they came at you quicker than you could process and you nearly screamed.  
You were even more sensitive after he’d made you come the first time; it was just overwhelming, the feeling of him, and you felt like your mind had left your body— like your mind had left you entirely.
“Y’feel fuckin’ perfect, darlin’,” he praised lowly, kissing your neck with all the gentleness and patience his thrusts lacked.  “So good for me.”
Maybe it was pathetic, but being good for him felt fucking amazing— not just physically, obviously.  It felt like having a purpose; you’d never really felt that before.
You lost track of time; honestly, you lost track of everything.  Everything that wasn’t this had fallen away, and it was just you holding on for dear life as Joel wrecked you all over again with every motion.  "Hear that?  How wet you are for me?" he groaned, and yes, there was a squishy-wet sound that filled the room with each thrust.  You tried to answer him, say something witty about how he made you that wet so many times, but only moans came when you opened your mouth.  "I asked you a question," he reminded you.  "Can you fuckin' hear it?"
Whimpering, you could only bite your lip and nod.
"Oh," he smiled, "I see— you get stupid with cock in you, huh?  Get fucked right and that silly brain just turns off?"
You nodded again— wasn’t much else for you to do.
"Just gonna be a dumb whore for me now?" he asked.  "Just kidding, I know you already were."
“Fuck— Joel—” you choked.
"No no, it's okay— it's good,” he soothed you, kissing a tear from your temple that you hadn’t even realized was there.  “You don't need to think.  I don't need you to think.  You can just be my fucktoy, okay?  You can just be my slut.  Say it."
"I-I'm your slut, Joel…"
He hummed appreciatively; your moan caught in your throat, and you tried to hide your face in his shoulder— you couldn’t believe he was still dressed, for all you knew he still had his boots on, and meanwhile you were stripped of everything.  Not just your clothes: you were stripped of all pretense (didn’t need it) and dignity (didn’t want it).  You’d thought of yourself as his for quite some time now, but now that he’d really made you his, it was more than you could’ve imagined.
When you came with him inside you, it wasn’t like how it was before— definitely similar, obviously the same thing at the core of it, but very different.  Before it was so… sudden, like a firework going off and then glittering into darkness (at least, that was how you understood fireworks to be, you’d only ever had them explained to you).  This was more like a deep pressure that just built and built and built, and then at some point you’d crossed that threshold and you were there but it didn’t go away, it just stayed at the peak while he kept moving inside you.
He grunted as your walls beared down on him, watching the tears of ecstasy stream down your face.  “Tryin’ to milk my cock, huh?” he accused with a snarl to his tone.  “S’that what you want?”
You weren’t really paying attention, you couldn’t while he was fucking you like that.  Digging your fingers into his shoulders through the flannel shirt, you just whimpered and nodded.
“S’workin’, baby,” he smiled, “little pussy’s got me so tight— is it a little too much, honey?  You’re cryin’...”
“I— I always cry,” you sniffled.
“M’not gonna make you take too much more,” he promised, “doin’ so good honey— gonna let you rest soon—”
“No, d-don’t stop,” you begged, and he laughed a little.
“I’m close,” he explained, and even though that should’ve been obvious, it made you feel better.  “Normally takes me a little longer, but… never had a pussy like this.”
That was probably just flattery, but you were happy to believe it.  Happy enough to just lay back and let that pleasure wash over you, but of course, he expected more of you than that.
"Tell me where I can come," he ordered.  
"Fuck, Joel— anywhere you want, anywhere," you pleaded, struggling to keep your train of thought but desperate to appease him as best you could.
"Inside you?" he pressed.
"Yeah, fuck, anywhere," you insisted.
"I bet that's what you want— you want it inside.  You want this cunt full and dripping."
“Fuck— yeah,” you agreed, “s’what I want— please, please—”
“Shh, don’t need to beg,” he assured sweetly, kissing your neck again— burying his face in the crook of your shoulder, until his panting breaths echoed on your skin.  “Don’t need to beg, darlin’, gonna fill you nice and deep—”
“Please,” you said again, ignoring his assurances.
“Just like you need it—”
“Please, Joel— love you so much,” you sobbed, your thighs starting to go a little numb where his jeans were rubbing against them and your clit getting sore from the way he stayed deep inside and grinded himself against you.
“I know,” he promised again, “jus’ say it one more time.”
“I love you, Joel,” you cried, and it was over somewhat suddenly: he stayed still, and you could feel his grip on you tighten, and you heard that sound that was like a groan and a sigh at the same time.  You’d hoped you’d be able to really feel it inside you, the warmth of his come, but everything was so hot that it was all the same— what you did feel was full, even more than you had just from his cock in you, and it was enough to make you clutch at his shoulders again despite having almost no energy left in you.
Though he stayed inside for a little while after, he did eventually have to pull out; you were too exhausted to even think about trying to close your legs when he stared down at you— at his come leaking slowly from your hole.
You knew there would need to be a conversation soon about what this all meant— what should happen now with the business, with your relationship, even just what should happen tomorrow morning since you’d both given in to instinct rather than take the safer route and have Joel pull out…
But that would have to wait; you still couldn’t think straight, you couldn’t think about anything but him in fact.
Thankfully, Joel was just fine with the silence.  He just held you, let you wander between sleep and wakefulness, and wiped that last stray tear away from your face.
“I’m sorry I keep crying,” you offered quietly, breaking a long silence.
“I don’t mind,” he promised.
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warping-realities · 2 months ago
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A Night in the Devil's Den - Part I
“I still think we should hit up somewhere else, Jamie. There are tons of bars that would look the other way and let us grab a few drinks.” One of the three young men passing through New York during college break said as they made their way to the old building housing the Devil’s Den, apparently the most hyped club in the city, which had a strict policy of keeping anyone under 21 out.
“Stop being such a fag, Fred! We’re gonna get in, trust me, man of little faith.” Jamie, the group leader with light brown hair, same color as Mark, shot back. Fred, on the other hand, was blond, and more sensitive, which didn’t mean he couldn’t hold his own when it came to arguing; on the contrary, the debate skills of the former debate team captain were legendary.
“Chill, Fred. The worst that can happen is the bouncer looks at the IDs that Jamie’s buddy hooked us up with and realizes we don’t have the right age and kicks us out. But I doubt that’ll happen; in a few months, we’ll all be 21.” Mark commented, always the peacemaker.
“Another reason to wait until we’re actually of age. I don’t want any trouble, guys.” Fred tried to argue again.
“I can’t believe you came all the way here to chicken out, man. If you wanna bail, I’m cool, but think about all the work I put into getting these IDs. And I didn’t even charge you guys!” Jamie grumbled.
“That’s just because your buddy did it for free, asshole. Who the hell is he, anyway?” Mark jumped in before things got heated between the two.
“Some dude I met at the hostel; he’s the one who told me about this place. Apparently, this is the spot for anyone looking for a good time.”
“You mean you trusted someone you barely know? Doesn’t that seem kinda sketchy to you?” Fred asked, outraged, totally shooting down Mark’s efforts.
“I’m sick of your attitude, man! If you’re so unhappy, why don’t you just head back to the hostel?”
“Hey, hey, chill out, you two! We’re here to have a good time! Fred, let’s check out the place, and if we don’t like it or they kick us out, we’ll head back to the hostel, and I promise I’ll be your wingman with those hot Italian chicks who showed up yesterday, alright? And Jamie, you dumbass, he’s not entirely wrong; it was pretty stupid to trust a stranger, but it’s done now, so let’s just try to have fun, please?” Mark chimed in again.
“Fine, but you know that your parents would kill us if anything goes south, Mark.” Warne Fred, whose parents had already passed away, and, in Jamie’s opinion, was the last one who should be worried instead of acting like a little pussy. Not that he’d say that, at least not now that his buddy finally decided to man up.
“Finally acting like a man, Fred, and not like a little bitch!”
“Hey, man, that’s enough!”
“Chill out, Mark; you’re starting to sound like your dad. Sorry, Fredster, I just want an unforgettable night with my best buds.” Jamie said, hugging Fred on one side to encourage him while Mark did the same on the other.
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As they approached the ridiculously long entrance line, Jamie commented.
“Since we’re talking about those hot Italian girls, it’s funny that if we were in most other countries, we wouldn’t even need to convince Fred here; we’d all be of age to drink until we drop without a care in the world.”
“I don’t think your dad would be too happy about hauling his kid from the gutter.” Mark remarked.
“He’s not as strict as your dad, man, but yeah… maybe it’s best not to push it. Damn, look at this line! No way I’m waiting all this crap! Oh, wait, I just remembered something; follow me!” Jamie said, signaling for his friends to follow him to the front of the line, where a huge black guy, looking like a muscle mountain, was running the door, checking IDs and occasionally greeting a buddy with a half-smile in his otherwise stern face. He saw the guys approaching and crossed his arms, giving them a menacing smirking look.
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“Hey, fellas, what do you want here?”
“Good evening, sir! Jerome told us to go straight to the bouncer at the main door and, said… said that he hopes you have a… a hell of a night.” Jamie said, sounding unsure for the first time.
“Jerome, huh? IDs?”
“Here you go, sir.” Mark replied, handing over the fake IDs, which the guy scrutinized for a few seconds.
“Any problem, sir?”
“Nope, on the contrary, looks like you guys got VIP passes. Jerome must’ve liked you a lot.” He said while fiddling with a walkie-talkie before speaking again. “Jerome’s group is on the way.” He radioed someone before handing the IDs back to the guys and cracking a smile. “Boys, looks like we’re all in for a hell of a night!”
As they stepped into the spacious lobby, the guys were hit with the sounds of music and excited screams, along with flashing lights. And the most impressive thing of all was a guy with olive skin, well-groomed beard and black hair, and a distinctive aquiline nose that hinted at some mediterranean ir middle eastern heritage. But what really stood out about the guy was his stunning build, partially covered by a sharp suit and shiny black pants, with his muscular torso on display for anyone who wanted to see, staring at them with disconcerting eyes and a mischievous grin that made the three feel like they were really inside the Devil’s Den.
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“Dude, they really know how to set a mood.” Jamie remarked, eyeing the imposing figure. “Alright, first drinks, then we hit the dance floor for the hot chicks!”
“Actually, I think I’m gonna hit the bathroom; my bladder’s about to explode!” Fred said.
“Then it’s a wonder you didn’t piss yourself from fear before we even got in.”
“Go fuck yourself, Jamie!” he shot back, irritated, as he blended into the crowd on the dance floor.
“You really can’t pass up a chance to be an idiot, can you?” Mark commented, following his other friend through the crowd. “Let me talk to him; you do something useful and grab the drinks. You know a few shots will loosen him up.”
“It’s not my fault he needs booze to stop being a little bitch.” Jamie yelled to be heard over the noise, turning heads with expressions of disbelief toward him, but he was too hyped about the night’s promises to notice, heading for the nearest bar, closely followed by the sinister figure from the entrance. It wasn’t until he reached the bar that he noticed the company.
“Hello, James.” The man said over the cacophony, though his voice didn’t need to rise for Jamie to hear him.
“How do you know my name?” Jamie shouted back.
“Jerome gave me a heads-up about your arrival; I’m Mr. Shay the manager of this place. And I know you shouldn’t be here tonight, kid.”
“Damn… then why didn’t you stop us at the door?”
“Because I understand the need for a young man to rebel. Especially when his dad is such a major buzzkill.” The man said with bright eyes.
“I… he just wants what’s best for me… a decent job for a real man and… and sometimes it’s a drag.” Jamie replied in a whisper, not realizing the man knew way more about him than he should.
“Oh, I get it, kid, and just when you finally have a chance to chill, your friends leave you hanging.”
“Pussies!” The kid grumbled, not seeing the man’s eyes flash dangerously.
“You seem to have a problem with gay people. What’s that about?”
“I don’t have a problem with gays; I have issues with little faggots, those sissy boys who take it up the ass like they’re chicks. My dad raised me to be a real man.”
“But it’s tough living under the weight of other people’s expectations, under the rigid standards taught by someone, isn’t it? Sometimes all you wanna do is chill out, let loose, and be happy, right? And have your friends be able to enjoy that with you.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, it’s settled! Poncho, a shot of tequila for my buddy here.” The man said as the spell seemed to break while he glided through the crowd with ease, almost floating, and for an instant if one looked closely one would catch a glimpse of his true form.
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Still a bit dazed, Jamie turned to the bar and bumped into a Latino guy in his late thirties, with a chiseled, muscular chest completely exposed except for a bow tie around his neck, sipping a drink while the shot of tequila the other guy ordered was held in his hand.
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“On the house.” The guy said with a smile. Without thinking twice, Jamie downed the shot.
“Nice one, hermano.” The man commented, grinning.
“Gracias, tio.” Jamie replied, smiling as he left the bar with a dreamy look.
There was definitely something extra in that tequila, Jamie’s rational side thought, a side that seemed to shrink more every minute. He wandered aimlessly through the crowd, seeing colors and smelling scents he’d never experienced before, while that rational side tried in vain to shout inside his head, drowned out by an overwhelming numbness.
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“Mierda, que guapo…” he murmured in Spanish, watching a muscular guy dancing shirtless. Without even stopping to think how out of character that was for him.
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Like a moth drawn to a flame, with an unspeakable desire taking hold of him, making him vibrate and tremble inside he made his way toward the guy, and just like that, in the blink of an eye, Javier, the latino 21 years old man, approached the older man.
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“Hey, papi, want some company?” He asked with a vacant look and dreamy voice that the other guy didn’t seem to notice, and in a few seconds, they were both dancing to the rhythm of the music.
“So, kid, where you from?”
“Right here, raised in El Barrio.” Javier answered.
“But where did your family come from?”
“My grandparents came with my dad and my uncles from Colombia in the early 90s. Maybe you know my uncle. He works as a bartender here; they call him Poncho, even though he’s not Mexican, but he says he doesn’t care.”
“Oh, so that’s why a kid like you is in here.” The man commented.
“I’ll show you who’s the kid.” Javier replied, kissing the man, who returned the kiss with passion.
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Neither of them seemed to notice that the kid’s shirt seemed to evaporate in the air or the inches he gained in height or the facial hair sprouting on his face. After a long moment of pleasure, the two pulled away.
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“So, papi, am I man enough for you?” Javi asked with a grin, while the other guy stared at him, breathless.
“Now I gotta bounce; my shift’s about to start!” Javi said, walking with a smile toward the bar. His muscles growing and expanding into an athletic, well-proportioned physique, with just the bow tie of his uniform to cover up.
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“Hey, you didn’t even tell me your name, boy!”
“If you want to find me, just head to the bar. And don’t call me boy; do I look like a kid to you?” He replied, flexing his muscles. Only a man could call him that, and that certainly wasn’t this one.
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When he got to the bar, his uncle greeted him with a smile but also with a warning.
“If your dad finds out about this…”
“What my dad doesn’t know won’t hurt him, tio. Plus, next year I’ll be graduating, and the boss is gonna put me to work in accounting, although I think I’ll still take a few shifts with you just for fun.”
“Javi, you really don’t get it, do you? If not your dad, then because of that musclehead you’re seeing.”
“It’s his fault for not showing up yet. And right when the main attraction’s about to start.” He said, looking at the club’s stage lighting up. “Though to him no attraction compares to my ass.” He concluded with a grin.
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