#it actually feels terrible sometimes
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what the fuck are you supposed to do with the overwhelming feelings music makes you feel. i feel like im going to combust
#i need to inject it into my veins#it actually feels terrible sometimes#or maybe im just overly sensitive.. hm
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Every other aspect of Jesse’s trauma makes me go oh no poor blorbo :( but his relationship w his parents and thinking ab it in the context of the series aftermath actually makes me unwell… they never even knew him they only ever saw the worst in him and now they’ve had that validated by his own actions and they’ll never know how sorry he is and that he was a good kid at heart and they didn’t imagine it and they still love him but how can they have loved him if they never even knew him and only ever saw the worst in him *flatlines*
#i sometimes feel like i’m the only one here who cares ab jesse’s parents but look#i grew up upper middle class with very attentive parents who really loved me#who would also accuse me of doing really bizarre terrible shit based on nothing but me wearing too much black or reading the wrong things#the love is there but it’s conditional the love is unconditional bc you are my child but i don’t know or love you as a person#obviously jesse actually did some really bad shit but even before all that they thought of him more as a junkie than their son#not me unloading in the tags lol it just hits too close to home is all#if i ever put my parents through that shit i would have to kms sorry#breaking bad#brba#el camino#jesse pinkman#diane pinkman#adam pinkman
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Since we’re on the topic of video games, im tired of these fucking remakes. Ive said it before but i’ll say it again each time. These companies dont wanna invest in an actually good remaster or port and would rather waste their time with these remakes bcuz “ooh look how shiny and better the graphics look!!1!1!1” often times it has an empty feeling because everything has to be ultra realism super 6000. Its gotten so bad that now regular gamers are starting to gaslight you into playing or enjoying them. So much has been lost artistically, (like the cool UI designs) that it’s now considered “juvenile” and that i need to “grow up” and “accept it” 😂
#Being genuine and having atmosphere/lore/small details surrounding the game does a lot more.#And can we pls have built in emulators or#backwards combatibility on these newer consoles? if ur able to do all this other shit you can give us an official emulator#And ik that sometimes the developers have actually lost certain files data assets etc within the OG games that cannot be regained#But you can make an entire remake no problem🙄 it be feeling like they are getting told by higher ups “do it or else”#Im gen z and idk if its my gen or a combination of everyone regardless of age wanting these remakes all of a sudden#Bcuz i swear i remember most ppl disliked or didnt care abt them now everyone is on board with it???#No game after the year 1999 should have a remake. A rerelease or remaster is fine. But a remake? Do we really need that…#Also game design used to be cute and fun. Whatever happened to that? Wheres my clever save spots and menu screens?#Theres only a tad bit of remakes i have no problem with and even then its not “needed”#i also understand not liking smth due to its art style. But to act like majority of old games looks terrible is crazy come on now.#Why does h0rizon need a remaster and why are u not allowed to buy or download the OG version of it anymore 😐#feels like ppl think OG games are nothing when they are the entire reason#The amplified hyperrealistic my-26k-ultra-supercomputer-made-this remake exists in the first fucking place#regarding limitations of old games and consoles i could understand a rerelease port but they could just add on stuff and leave it alone lol#Emulators also exists guys….#Rant#Other
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i know kevin is a wet rag of a man but he is also so cool. he is charming! he knows how to make people like him! he is a sourpuss baby around people who let him be a sourpuss baby but he is also like.. The Man. spine is straight, chin is high -- he's the deadliest piece on the motherfuckin board. he's comfortable in the spotlight. he's keeping a cool head and shaking hands and kissing babies. he's tapping the butt of his racquet against the floor before switching hands, because he knows how to make a visual that will be included in every Greatest Sports Moments in History compilation for the rest of time.
#like sometimes i am like wheezing over how cool he is !!!!!! it makes me feel insane#hes such a legend !#and in some ways that is terrible for him but its also like. what hes centered his life around#i want him to be a legend with the support he needs for it to actually make him as happy as he thinks it will
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i keep seeing this stupid fucking take propagated
ID: screenshot of a tumblr post. @paraparathecow asked: (a screenshot of text that reads: “desperately need your support. 🙏 Achieved 25500 kr/ 200000 kr, My account was verified by@\gazavetters, @\90-ghost & Voices from Gaza on X.,1100kr=100$.”) @paraparathecow: “Man, I sure do wonder why the poor poor gazans are gathering money using swedish krona of all currencies... At least they got the conversion rate right...” @homochadensistm: “But she was verified!! Bsbshjdhdd” END ID.
if you genuinely think a fundraiser being based outside of palestine is some sort of “gotcha“, that it “proves” that the fundraisers are “scams”, then you are either really dedicated to keeping yourself ignorant or someone who enjoys lying to fuck over people in need.
ID: two screenshots, the first showing that it’s a post @prismatic-bell reblogged, and that the original poster is @bsof-maarav. the second screenshot is a section of the post. @bsof-maarav: “Also reported to gofundme, I'm sure they will be interested in why this campaign is listed as being located in Texas, USA while the campaign narrative places the individual in Gaza. And I'm sure they will be further interested in knowing that I heard about it from an unsolicited spam-type message from an unknown account on social media.” END ID.
is anyone actually claiming that the fundraisers are based in palestine? who is saying that? genuinely who is saying that because i don’t know why this is such a prevalent fucking issue for people.
ID: @luckyletd0wn: “every donation that goes to a scammer is a donation stolen from gaza. gofundme does not even operate in palestine, someone from there cannot set up their own gofundme. i cannot believe the people falling for the constant scam asks. you're handing desperately needed donations to modern age nigerian princes. please i beg of you, learn some media literacy. thousands upon thousands of dollars have gone to scammers "vetted" by other scammers. some even admit to having their accounts banned for scamming and drop their new accounts!!!!” END ID.
i assumed it was common knowledge that the fundraisers were set up by family/friends/organisations/helpful people in one of the countries where gofundme operates.
but don’t take it from me, here’s one of their fellow liberals explaining it
ID: @cardassiangoodreads: “There was one case where a popular anti-scam post got things wrong - or more accurately, was "correct" but missed the point (pointing out that gofundme doesn't operate in Gaza, which is true, but to suggest none of the fundraisers are legit, which is false) and someone reblogged to correct them (that the legit gofundmes are run by relatives and friends in supported countries, not in Gaza itself - that's basically the only way people are getting out of there, having people on the outside send them money in order to do so).” END ID.
but hey don’t take it from some random tumblr liberal either. here’s time magazine explaining it
MARCH 25, 2024. Emphasis mine, plain text at the end of the post, under the cut.
“As a result, more Palestinians have increasingly turned to online crowdfunding platforms such as GoFundMe or JustGiving. A GoFundMe spokesperson told TIME that the platform has seen more than 12,000 active fundraisers for Palestinians in Gaza launched since Oct. 7, collectively raising $77 million to date. In addition to evacuation efforts, these campaigns have also been launched to fund access to humanitarian relief such as medical care and food, particularly as funding to formal aid organizations like UNRWA has been cut in various countries.”
[…]
“Because the platform can only be used in 19 countries, however, many of the Gaza-related campaigns are set up in Europe or North America. While some campaigns, such as Tareq's, are led by friends and relatives who live abroad and want to help on the ground, others have been created by activists or as collaborations between charities who rally a well-established network of donors and friends on social media or via public appeals.
In every crowdfunding case, Palestinians will rely on contacts abroad to help set up the campaign and receive donations on their behalf. In return, the platform benefits from the campaigns by charging donors 30 cents per contribution and keeping 2.9% of the total donation. “As fundraising for Gaza increases, we will continue to dedicate more resources to helping people help each other,” the GoFundMe spokesperson told TIME.”
[…]
“Despite the rising popularity of crowdfunding as a means of aid, many campaigns remain underfunded. 24-year-old Noor Hammad was once a nutritionist in Deir al-Balah, but now, she is desperate to escape Gaza after her home was heavily bombarded and she gave birth to her daughter in Rafah in January. “I lost everything in this war,” she said in a WhatsApp message. “I need to leave because I have a baby now, I need money to buy food for her.” To help Hammad, a Sydney-based journalist set up a GoFundMe campaign earlier this month to raise $27,000, which will be sent to Hammad’s brother in Sweden. So far, the fundraiser has raised just $2,580.
Even when campaigns raise enough funds, other challenges in ensuring Gazans can access and receive the money persist, especially as Western governments have introduced sanctions against Hamas. As a result, GoFundMe and other crowdfunding platforms are now required to comply by asking organizers for extensive information about to whom, and where, the money is going. Any individuals or groups who don’t pass a test screening for money laundering or terrorist financing are likely to be put on government-run lists. “
[…]
“The means through which money is transferred to Gazans is also complicated. A few wire services like Western Union are still operating in the besieged territory, but for many, a more viable option is to have the money sent to someone outside Gaza who can withdraw the cash and travel to Egypt. There, the money is paid to brokers who facilitate evacuations.
In February, Tareq and his family raised $20,000 and were finally able to leave for Egypt, where they are currently seeking refuge. But now, the 16-year-old says he needs to find the money to relocate to Canada, where his family can apply for asylum. Above all, the 11th grader—who was months ago participating in international student competitions—hopes to re-enroll in school to complete his education. He plans to make a new GoFundMe campaign in the coming weeks to raise money for the cost of visa applications, flights, and other expenses.
“The GoFundMe really helped with the evacuation and I am full of hope for the future,” he says. “But the circumstances have led Gazans to crowdfund because they lost a lot, and they continue to lose a lot”.”
Is every blog asking for funds legit? Sadly no. Do the people doing the vetting want you to just donate to each and every person who asks nicely? That’s really easy to check actually, surprising i know.
ID: @\el-shab-hussein on 30/1-2024: “As a rule of thumb, don't reblog donation posts or people asking for donations unless they've been vetted and reblogged by Palestinian bloggers. We usually go to lengths to verify this shit because we know scammers have been faking to get people to send them money, using the urgency of our genocide as bait.” END ID.
The answer is “no”. Imagine that.
hello. it feels nice and cozy under a readmore doesn’t it? like i’m inviting you into my pillow fort. be careful so you don’t rip down any of my blankets, i’m turning on the fairy lights so i can show you the article i was talking about. yk while we’re down here, i might as well post the whole article, right? i’m sure time doesn’t mind.
Palestinians Have Turned to Crowdfunding Platforms for Survival
MARCH 25, 2024.
In December, Tareq watched his entire life in Gaza get reduced to rubble. “The school I attended since first grade, the street I walked on daily, my neighborhood—they all collapsed into memory,” the 16-year-old tells TIME. With a sinking feeling, he realized that no immediate ceasefire would be brokered in the Israel-Hamas war, and the only way he could escape the horror was by evacuating Gaza. “I never imagined being forced to leave home, but it felt inevitable, like a cruel twist of fate,” he says.
U.N.-backed global monitors have issued warnings that “mass death is now imminent” in the besieged territory with acute food shortages exceeding famine levels. For most Palestinians like Tareq (who asked his last name be withheld for safety purposes), fleeing Gaza is seen as the only way to escape Israel’s bombardment, which has now entered into its fifth month.
But evacuation is not an easy or affordable feat. The only official way to cross the Rafah border, the sole crossing point between Egypt and the occupied territories, is with Israeli approval. The border is currently under an Egyptian-Israeli blockade, and evacuation is permitted only to foreign passport holders or seriously wounded patients.
Under a parallel, informal system, however, Palestinians can pay travel brokers in Egypt to get on a list of people approved for permits to leave. The fees for evacuation are often exorbitant sums ranging from $6,000 to $12,000 per person, and those looking to flee must also navigate scammers and misinformation with no guarantee of success, according to sources who spoke with TIME, as well as recent media reports.
As a result, more Palestinians have increasingly turned to online crowdfunding platforms such as GoFundMe or JustGiving. A GoFundMe spokesperson told TIME that the platform has seen more than 12,000 active fundraisers for Palestinians in Gaza launched since Oct. 7, collectively raising $77 million to date. In addition to evacuation efforts, these campaigns have also been launched to fund access to humanitarian relief such as medical care and food, particularly as funding to formal aid organizations like UNRWA has been cut in various countries.
That is how Tareq—who fled his home in November with his parents and three younger siblings after it was destroyed by Israeli airstrikes—found money for his family’s escape. After taking refuge in a U.N. shelter, he launched an online campaign on GoFundMe in December with a fundraising goal of $25,000—enough money to cover his entire family’s entrance fees to Egypt and temporary living expenses. A family friend in New Orleans helped set up the fundraiser; an aunt in Canada became the recipient for the donations to transfer the money to the family directly.
“Thank you very much for your generosity, solidarity, and kindness, your support is much appreciated and encouraged,” Tareq wrote on his fundraising page. “Your donation will make an essential impact on me and my family to live safely and have a better future.”
Crowdfunding for survival
Over the past two decades, online crowdfunding platforms like GoFundMe and JustGiving have become vital sources for mutual aid and charity efforts to raise funds for everything ranging from medical emergencies and hunger relief to small business loans. In the Ukraine war, they have been essential in co-funding Ukraine’s defense campaign against Russia. “Ukrainians elevated crowdfunding’s significance to match the existential threat they face,” wrote Olga Boichak, a senior lecturer in digital cultures at the University of Sydney.
Because the platform can only be used in 19 countries, however, many of the Gaza-related campaigns are set up in Europe or North America. While some campaigns, such as Tareq's, are led by friends and relatives who live abroad and want to help on the ground, others have been created by activists or as collaborations between charities who rally a well-established network of donors and friends on social media or via public appeals.
In every crowdfunding case, Palestinians will rely on contacts abroad to help set up the campaign and receive donations on their behalf. In return, the platform benefits from the campaigns by charging donors 30 cents per contribution and keeping 2.9% of the total donation. “As fundraising for Gaza increases, we will continue to dedicate more resources to helping people help each other,” the GoFundMe spokesperson told TIME.
Just before last Christmas, Mansour Shouman, a Palestinian-Canadian journalist based in Doha, started a crowdfunding campaign with a team to raise $1.2 million for urgent humanitarian needs like food, water, clothing, tents, and hygienic products. The 39-year-old has so far raised just over $1 million in donations toward the goal.
Shouman, who has over 300,000 followers on Instagram, says he began fundraising shortly after making videos about the humanitarian crisis in Gaza. “A lot of people responded by asking how they could help,” he says. “So we started slowly creating a way in which people would donate through different means to support different projects in Gaza.”
Much of the money raised by Shouman’s fundraiser has been sent to local charities in Gaza, like the Palestinian Ethan Society for Community Development, who then purchase mattresses, tents, water, food, and redistribute the funds in the form of cash donations. Shouman says the focus has also shifted from the south to northern Gaza, where the famine has grown worse with each day. “We want to ensure that we can feed the starving population there,” he says.
In early February, a group of U.S.-based activists started a grassroots movement called Operation Olive Branch, or OOB, to help with the overwhelming number of crowdfunding requests from Palestinian families. So far, OOB has assisted close to 800 families to reach their fundraising goals.
“The families behind the fundraisers are experiencing acute starvation, illness, and trauma more extreme than any of us can imagine,” the group told TIME, adding that its role was to “center and amplify families’ direct aid requests by tapping the talents of a large and growing network of social media activists.”
But it adds that while fundraising platforms like GoFundMe have been “key to the autonomy and fundraising success of Gazan families” with the help of the diaspora who can act as beneficiaries to assist their affairs remotely, “having direct access to their donations would make a life-saving difference for these families.”
Challenges persist
Despite the rising popularity of crowdfunding as a means of aid, many campaigns remain underfunded. 24-year-old Noor Hammad was once a nutritionist in Deir al-Balah, but now, she is desperate to escape Gaza after her home was heavily bombarded and she gave birth to her daughter in Rafah in January. “I lost everything in this war,” she said in a WhatsApp message. “I need to leave because I have a baby now, I need money to buy food for her.” To help Hammad, a Sydney-based journalist set up a GoFundMe campaign earlier this month to raise $27,000, which will be sent to Hammad’s brother in Sweden. So far, the fundraiser has raised just $2,580.
Even when campaigns raise enough funds, other challenges in ensuring Gazans can access and receive the money persist, especially as Western governments have introduced sanctions against Hamas. As a result, GoFundMe and other crowdfunding platforms are now required to comply by asking organizers for extensive information about to whom, and where, the money is going. Any individuals or groups who don’t pass a test screening for money laundering or terrorist financing are likely to be put on government-run lists.
These processes have slowed aid efforts, according to a report by The Verge, which found that organizers and donors had been dealing with “heavy-handed moderation” and “inconsistent policies.” In response, GoFundMe issued a notice in March explaining how organizers could get around the extra red tape and avoid any delays, adding that it would comply with laws and regulations to “make the flow of funds from donors to beneficiaries as fast as possible.”
The means through which money is transferred to Gazans is also complicated. A few wire services like Western Union are still operating in the besieged territory, but for many, a more viable option is to have the money sent to someone outside Gaza who can withdraw the cash and travel to Egypt. There, the money is paid to brokers who facilitate evacuations.
In February, Tareq and his family raised $20,000 and were finally able to leave for Egypt, where they are currently seeking refuge. But now, the 16-year-old says he needs to find the money to relocate to Canada, where his family can apply for asylum. Above all, the 11th grader—who was months ago participating in international student competitions—hopes to re-enroll in school to complete his education. He plans to make a new GoFundMe campaign in the coming weeks to raise money for the cost of visa applications, flights, and other expenses.
“The GoFundMe really helped with the evacuation and I am full of hope for the future,” he says. “But the circumstances have led Gazans to crowdfund because they lost a lot, and they continue to lose a lot”.
#gaza#palestine#israel#scam#prismatic-bell#homochadensistm#paraparathecow#bsof-maarav#luckyletd0wn#imagine if people just accepted that sometimes you have to just live with feeling bad about yourself because of your thoughts and actions#and didn’t feel the need to come up with some vast conspiracy so they are actually the just and virtuous ones by NOT helping#the people spreading these lies are no different from people who think they are doing homeless people a good deed by Not giving them money#down to the same type of ‘did you see that ‘homeless’ person had a cell phone? :/‘ shitfuckery#desperately searching for ANY ‘sign’ that validates their selfishness and discomfort#you SHOULD help people in need if you are able#and if you refuse to do that the least you can do is to ignore it quietly and move on with your life#and feel some guilt about it. because you should feel guilty for refusing to help people when you have the means#but you shitheads can’t even do the bare fucking minimum required to not be a terrible person
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wolbert week day 3: home
where i'm meant to be - next to you
#wolbertweek2024#Ardbert#warrior of light#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#man trying to narrow down my thoughts to something i could actually execute in a day (local man terrible at planning ahead)#i just think about them + the concept of a home a lot#there's the obvious element of dropping ardbert into the source and seeing how he feels abt it#but also that for both of them 'home' has been smth that they can't go back to#wol for obvious cultural reasons#and i think even leaving aside the state of the island where ardbert lived. so much has changed in the first#that there's this weird off-kilter feeling abt being there#(this gets better in time but still)#i have. also thought a ridiculous amount about their actual house lol. which is very uncharacteristic for me#but i'll occasionally squirrel away inspo and daydream abt building it in ffxiv#it's a lil house by the sea somewhere in la noscea that tataru set them up with post enw#she wheedled this info out of ardbert#there was no point in asking wol abt it because his ideal living space is somewhere not entirely covered in hornets
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Its honestly so funny to me when people talk about ryan condal's "team black bias" and its like yall... i dont think condal cares about the fictional waring factions of incest kingdom... i think he just thinks rhaenyra is his main character and thus warps the world to suit rhaenyra
#and that spills over into the characterization of the other team black members#hotd#house of the dragon#ryan condal#team green#team black#i do think the show pretty much paints the greens as the villians#but like i feel like thats more of a simplifying conflict to appeal to general audiences thing#i think they probably just think normies will probablg hate every character if every character is actually fully a terrible person#oh and theyre scared of making any of the women actually terrible#i swear you guys talk about the show runners like theyre litterally the biased maesters in the book sometimes#id also say for however much they remove rhaenyras responsibility jn stuff they sure as hell do alicents too#the writers just arent that good at writing
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wondering if the TIT hoodie has similar sizing compared to the WAD hoodie? is it around the same length?
#i want my hoodies oversized but also don’t want to completely drown in them#and im quite tall so sometimes sizing down makes hoodies feel too short for me#not actually short but just not oversized enough#like my wad hoodie is xxl and it’s comfy but i’d maybe want the tit hoodie to be a little less baggy#just to have options yknow lol#jenna rambles#terrible influence tour#dnptit#dan and phil#phan
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hot take? i don't think blurryface is going to be "defeated" by the end of the lore. he might be the villain of the story but at the same time he's a living part of tyler as well. i think they'll win, but not completely eradicate the existence of blurryface. they might suppress him, or learn to peacefully coexist with him, or outgrow his influence or whatever - that's the "managing the tension" part. we also have to keep in mind that tyler is still struggling to some extent with his insecurities and vulnerabilities (though he's gotten much better ofc) and i think that aspect will be reflected in his art.
besides, they've said that some people might not like the ending, which insinuates we won't be getting a perfectly hunky-dory happy ending. i also don't think tyler is the type to give this kind of story a sunshines and rainbows type of closure.
the core message of twenty one pilots, although it has certainly evolved over the years, is that it's fine to be not okay, but you must fight for your survival. i think that the lore ending will leave us with the message that broken as we are, we have to stay alive AND push on through - and before you know it, you'll be in a much better place than when you first started.
#i feel like ive said this before so apologies if it sounds repetitive#i just had to get it out#and to add#i was in a godawful fucking state when i first started listening to tøp#but i am doing much much better now#i have friends i have a job i graduated i function fairly normally in life#but that doesnt mean my blurryface is gone#i still struggle and some parts of me feel perpetually broken#whats comforting though is that my ability to regulate my feelings and life have gotten much stronger#sometimes i do feel like ive relapsed and its terrible#'ive been praying for my elasticity to return to the way that it was'#but when that horrible moment passes i realize that i actually have become better and stronger#i keep myself alive and push on through#im still working on learning to lessen the burden i put on myself#and coexist with my blurryface#but i am getting somewhere#sorry for babbling and venting but what i wanted to say is that#i relate to where the trench story is going and itd make sense for blurry to still be there by the end of it all#just with less power over tyler#tøp#twenty one pilots#clancy#blurryface#my god these tags be so long lmfao
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To this day I don't understand how Ghostbusters Frozen Empire had the budget to hire all of these absolutely incredible actors, a surprisingly excellent cinematographer, a SFX team that's second to none, AND a phenomenal composer (HE WROTE THE 2005 PRIDE AND PREJUDICE SOUNDTRACK FOR FUCK'S SAKE)- and yet STILL couldn't manage to hire even semi-decent writers (this also applies to Ghostbusters Afterlife actually)
(whoever came up with the Phoebe/Melody plot goated tho)
#it's time for my actual dislike for these films purely from a critical standpoint to come out again lmao#I might write an essay about why frozen empire ended up being a perfect mess#kind of terrible but with characters so good and so well played I obsessed over them for months lmao#god I love these characters so much. and Checkmatch plot ilysm#but I genuinely dislike these two films in about 80% of aspects otherwise lmao#again maybe I should write an essay on this#why the script was fucking shite but the film still sort of slayed in a weird sort of way#I'm sorry to bring negativity here but I feel like a bit of an imposter sometimes in this fandom as someone who actually didn't like-#-the films 😭#not that I didn't enjoy them to a degree they're just ...#not great objectively#like I said terrible terrible awful script and these characters deserved so much better#and also from a franchise perspective...#okay I'll shut up now anyhow#I was thinking about this today anyways#HOW could they not hire good writers 😭#such good everything else....#cass thinks ab stuff#ghostbusters#ghostbusters frozen empire#ghostbusters afterlife
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children
#ai hoshino#oshi no ko spoilers#oshi no ko#I have to draw them lots.. depending on how things play out I may or may not be able to draw them more#hikaai#when I draw emotions I try to match mine to how the characters are feeling#that way I can portray things more accurately! I do it almost every time#but what happened to him's really terrible. it's actually painful to try and do that.. so I don't want to dive in too deep sometimes#spoilers#the characters in this series suffer from many mental health issues and it IS what draws me in because psychology is my field of interest#it's portrayed pretty well...they are really real in those aspects#but it does consume some mental energy#doodle#anyway kids should be kids.. they should be treated well#this comic reminds me of that stuff and I don't think that's a bad thing
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the big 'armand never tried to save louis' reveal did surprise me, but does explain san francisco so much more...like of course a guy whose entire relationship (and focus of his life) is based on a lie of him being a much more selfless and less cowardly person than he is is going to mindwipe fights from his partner's mind! armand's two options were to become a better person or hope louis never ever found out the truth (with the aid of his powers and a tragic amount of overconfidence), and he went with the latter. bad choice for him, but very consistent.
#and him turning daniel in direct contradiction to louis also feels consistent#he doesn't actually kill him bc he's a coward and thinks that would cross a line#but he's also clearly a bit drawn to someone who paid enough attention to him to see through his bullshit (sometimes)#idk i'm very very interested to see all of that explored in s3#i do wish we could've gotten the 'armand breaks up with louis via walking into a river' scene somehow#but i'm pretty happy with where all of that landed. i was hoping armand wouldn't end up as an improbable Big Bad and he didn't#he was just armand. making bad and terrible choices constantly and looking for love in all the wrong places#iwtv spoilers
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Hi,
Is the liam article that you read the new one behind a pay wall? I can't access it but I would be really interested to see what it says about how things went. Would it be possible for you to tell how does it explain what led to his fall? Maybe under a cut so anyone who doesn't want to see can skip it?
Thank you and you don't obviously have to do it if you're not comfortable.
oh that's weird it wasn't blocked for me- here this should work for everyone if not lmk. @ other anon there aren't really very graphic pictures imo that's just the clickbait bs but text is below
basically he suggests that the hotel staff took Liam up to his room and then he changed into incognito type clothes (black jacket and cap) and attempted to sneak out of his room by going from the balcony along the side of the building, as we know he (and others of them) have done many times over the years, and which he apparently is documented as having done pretty recently, and presumably lost full or partial consciousness and fell. The waiter Braian who he spent time with in the weeks in Argentina talked in his first interview about Liam jamming the keycard slot in his door previously, which would explain the part here where employees say they can't get into his room.
It is a picture that will shock music fans around the world: the late British pop star Liam Payne being manhandled through a hotel lobby by three men, just minutes before his fatal fall from a third-floor balcony.
The tragic image, which has been given to the Daily Mail, was taken from CCTV footage recorded inside the CasaSur Palermo Hotel in Buenos Aires where Payne was staying at the time of his death on October 16.
High on drugs, Payne, whose face we have chosen to obscure, appears to have been picked up by the trio of hotel employees – he had, according to one witness, been ‘convulsing’ on the lobby floor. He was taken, via the elevator, back to his third-floor suite.
The question is, why did they move him at all, if he was so ill? Why did the hotel not call an ambulance straight away?
The timestamp on the still image shows 16:54:48. Bizarrely, however, a second picture taken from CCTV outside Liam's room shows the three employees and Payne at 16:54:37. In other words, apparently eleven seconds before they were in the lobby.
The journey from the lobby to the third floor takes at least 90 seconds, according to one guest. Clearly at least one of the timestamps is incorrect.
In an image that will shock music fans around the world, the late British pop star Liam Payne is manhandled through the CasaSur Palermo Hotel lobby by three men, just minutes before his fatal fall from a third-floor balcony. One witness claimed he had been 'convulsing' on the floor
He was taken, via the elevator, back to his third-floor suite. The tragic footage given to the Daily Mail was taken from CCTV recorded inside the hotel in Buenos Aires - where Payne was staying at the time of his death on October 16
This picture outside Liam's room shows the three employees and Payne at 16:54:37. In other words, apparently eleven seconds before they were in the lobby. The journey from the lobby to the third floor takes at least 90 seconds, according to one guest. Clearly at least one of the timestamps is incorrect
What we know for certain is that shortly after 17:00, Payne fell 13 metres from the balcony of his room into the hotel's inner courtyard. He died instantaneously.
At 17:11, an ambulance arrived and certified the singer's death. A subsequent autopsy found Payne had suffered 'multiple traumas' causing 'internal and external bleeding.' The toxicology report found traces of 'alcohol, cocaine and prescription antidepressant.'
Just days after Payne's funeral, which took place on Wednesday at St Mary's Church in Amersham, Buckinghamshire, the images perhaps offer a somewhat clearer picture of what happened leading up to the tragic accident. They also raise two serious questions.
To repeat, the first is why would hotel staff – who expressed concern in their call to the emergency services that Payne could come to serious harm on his suite's balcony – take the intoxicated singer up to his room and leave him there alone?
And second, for reasons I will explain, did Liam fall from the balcony while attempting to leave the hotel undetected - a trick he had been pulling since his days in One Direction and which he had repeated just a month previously to evade a concerned bodyguard in Florida?
If the CCTV timestamp is accurate, the sequence of events begins at 15:53 on October 16 when Liam enters the hotel with his friend, the Argentine-American businessman Roger Nores.
Liam is at this point wearing a black cap – which he donned to avoid being recognised by his legions of Latin American fans – and carrying a small bag containing his personal belongings.
The star appears in good spirits and chats with fans in the lobby before heading up to his room with Nores shortly after 16:00.
Payne died after he fell from the balcony of his third-floor suite - just minutes after hotel staff escorted the pop star through the lobby
Payne's suite was found in disarray, with drug paraphernalia strewn across one of the tables. Furniture had also been destroyed
A few minutes later, at 16:05 if the timestamp is right, the pair return to the lobby. Liam has brought his laptop down with him and – crucially, where this timeline is concerned – left his cap and bag up in his third-floor suite.
He continues to chat with a small group of American fans, discussing his life in Florida, where the singer was renting a $12,000 a month house with his girlfriend, the American influencer Kate Cassidy.
At 16:06, Nores says goodbye to Liam and leaves the hotel. At this time, Liam remains in good spirits and continues to interact with hotel guests. At 16:26, Liam is pictured lounging in the lobby, scrolling on his laptop.
Two minutes later at 16:28, Liam is photographed making one of what witnesses later described as three or four trips up to his room in a roughly 30-minute period. Each time he returns to the lobby, his behaviour appears increasingly erratic.
At one point, a witness recalled Payne receiving an email to which he exclaims: 'F*** this s*** mate,' before striking his computer on the floor.
In a separate outburst, he tells another hotel guest: 'I used to be in a boyband – that's why I'm so f***** up.'
It now appears that on the occasions Payne is said to have gone up to his room, he is likely to have been ingesting narcotics. The next known picture of him is this desperately sad one of him being hauled away by the hotel staff at 16:54:48.
Two of the men pictured carrying Payne away are dressed in the uniform of CasaSur reception staff. The Mail understands that one of the two is chief receptionist Esteban Grassi. The third man – wearing trainers, shorts and a T-shirt – works as a masseur in the hotel spa.
A vigil is held by fans for Payne in Buenos Aires the day after his death. Mourners were filmed singing his songs in candle-light
Heartbreaking moment Liam Payne fans break down in tears at vigil
A few minutes after taking the singer back to his room, the hotel put in a call to the emergency services.
'I'm calling you from the hotel CasaSur Palermo,' says chief receptionist Esteban Grassi. 'So, we have a guest who is high on drugs and who is trashing the room. Erm, so we need someone to come.'
The line then cuts out, but Grassi calls 911 again and continues: 'We need you to send someone urgently because, well, I don't know whether his life may be in danger, the guest's life. He is in a room with a balcony and well, we're afraid he might do something.'
The transcript from the 911 call shows that the operator asked reception staff whether they could gain access to Payne's room. The staff replied that they could not.
But why on earth, if Esteban Grassi was indeed concerned that Payne's life was in danger because his room had a balcony, did the hotel allow the singer to be taken up to that room and seemingly left there? And why would they call 911 just a couple of minutes after doing so? At the time of writing, the hotel has not responded to a request for comment.
It would surely have been more appropriate to hold the 'convulsing' Payne in the lobby and call an ambulance immediately. Did hotel staff prioritise keeping the lobby clear for other guests over Payne's safety and well-being?
The Mail understands that no members of the CasaSur hotel staff – including the three men who carried Payne away – are being investigated by Argentine authorities.
Three individuals have been labelled as 'people of interest' in Payne's death. They include 24-year-old Brian Nahuel Paiz and 21-year-old Ezequiel David Pereyra, both on suspicion of dealing Payne drugs.
An Instagram post by 24-year-old Brian Nahuel Paiz, who stands beside the late singer before he fell to his death last month. The post reads: 'Fly high, Chief. Thank you for having enlightened me and for crossing you into my reality. I will always remember you'
The third man is Roger Nores, who – despite having left the hotel long before Payne's erratic behaviour began – has been accused of 'abandonment of a person before death'.
Nores strongly denies the allegation and told the Mail two weeks ago: 'I never abandoned Liam, I went to his hotel three times that day and left 40 minutes before this happened. There were over 15 people at the hotel lobby chatting and joking with him when I left.'
The prolific entrepreneur – who in 2017 featured in the Forbes '30 under 30' list of influential young people for his role in the energy industry – continued: 'I could have never imagined something like this would happen. I'm really heart-broken with this tragedy, and I've been missing my friend every day.'
But while the behaviour of hotel staff leaves more questions than answers, this new picture published by the Mail today leads back to that second question – and a new possibility as to what actually happened when the singer died.
Quite clearly, the picture shows that as the pop-star is taken back to his room, he is neither wearing his black cap or clutching his bag.
And yet, when Payne's body was recovered by the emergency services at 17:11, he was found to be wearing the black cap and to have on his person the small bag he used when out and about.
In other words, it appears that between being returned to his hotel room and being found dead, Liam Payne got dressed to go out.
Could it be that Liam Payne slipped while attempting to leave the CasaSur hotel via his balcony, in a bid to avoid detection by hotel staff?
The Mail understands that hotel staff remained outside his room – according to a statement in the prosecutor's file – seemingly to ensure he did not return to the lobby and disturb other guests.
Police found a host of drug paraphernalia in Payne's room, including burnt pieces of tin foil and traces of white powder. It is certainly plausible Payne may have panicked in his paranoid state and made an ill-fated attempt to purposefully climb out of his room from his balcony.
In a further revelation, a source close to Payne has confirmed to the Mail that the pop star frequently climbed out of hotel balconies in order to avoid detection. In fact, it was a trick he and his bandmates learnt in the early days of their fame to evade their management team while on tour with One Direction. And, shockingly, the Mail can reveal it is also a trick Payne used just one month prior to his death in Florida.
My source revealed that on September 15, while staying at his rental property in Palm Beach, Payne wanted to go out and purchase drugs. His bodyguard, aware of the singer's problem with narcotics and attempts to stay clean, had closed the door to his room and urged the singer not to go out looking for a 'hit'.
Undeterred, my source says the singer escaped via his balcony, stringing a set of sheets together to act as a rope.
Further proof of Liam's high-risk stunts emerged shortly after his death when a picture resurfaced from 2014 showing the then 20-year-old singer standing on a narrow exterior ledge of the 34th floor of his London apartment building – some 350 ft in the air.
The photograph was taken following a night of raucous celebrations marking One Direction bandmate Zayn Malik's 21st birthday.
Later that day, the singer issued an apology to his impressionable young fans, saying: 'You may have seen a photo of me today, taken on top of a building. I regret being there and having a photo taken of me.'
'I do not endorse any fans trying to repeat this as it is extremely dangerous,' Payne's apology continued. 'It was a stupid and irresponsible thing to do. I am sorry.'
Fans have since taken to social media to point out the tragic foreshadowing between the 2014 picture and Liam's death five weeks ago.
The truth is that no one will ever know for sure what Liam Payne's intentions were on that fateful afternoon of October 16. However, the release of this latest picture from the CasaSur hotel lobby helps fill a hole in the sequence of events that led to his fatal fall.
One thing is for sure, the image of Payne as he is taken out of the lobby, at a time when he appears to have needed care and immediate medical attention, raises new and profound questions about where responsibility lies in the tragic tale of the deeply troubled star.What the fuck
#cw death details#the idea that a trick they learned and started doing#because they were trapped in the hotel rooms by the smothering crushing love of the fans#eventually resulted in liam's death.... it's a fucking lot#I'm mad at people for trying to make a story out of this tragedy trying to make it a movie or true crime podcast story#but honestly fiction couldn't come close to that kind of... what#irony? metaphor? it makes me feel insane to think about it's just... so fucking terrible#I love them so much. and there are real actual ways that sometimes that hurts them and fucks up their real actual lives#and I HATE it and don't know how to reconcile or fix it#I don't want to open a big discussion about the article and details it doesn't feel super comfortable#so no promises to answer more stuff about it idk#but sharing the article#hey speaking of feeling uncomfy why the FUCK are people sharing pap pictures from the funeral on here???#also what is the POINT it's hardly a secret moment in which they had their guards down what in gods name do you think a picture taken#in front of a wall of pap photographers#tells you about anything at ALL
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I mean I’m obsessed with crash landing on you because it’s like if a hallmark movie was good and that is fascinating to my brain and healing to my heart.
#I didn’t think such a thing was possible#I’ve been living very much in a world of extremes lately re: Art#like. on the one hand all the great works I teach just taking OVER my brain#and my knowledge of them deepening at a very rapid pace#(sometimes in a too terrifying way so I feel like I’m hurtling down a hill. it’s actually really hard sometimes and I think part of how)#(my anxiety is manifesting itself. like. I just. I don’t feel like I’ve taken a deep breath in a year)#(I’ve just been in. motion.)#and then on the other hand finding new ways to find shows like Bridgerton dead#and Bridgerton helps with that because it is emotionally hollow. because it is fundamentally embarrassing#because Anthony snarling at Kate about how his honor is hanging by a thread isn’t sexy at all#so my mind has kind of just been living in those two extremes and there hasn’t been a lot of room for gentleness or nuance#but cloy is very healing 😭 and it just doesn’t#push the buttons in my brain that immediately need to analyze and#to some extent—destroy! tear apart! with fierce and savage energy.#it just lets my brain and heart exist.#and also there is something so sweet and pure and real about so much of it#I think it’s cause it’s true love 😭 and it’s that simple.#(I’ve also outgrown/moved on from some of the more mediocre things I used to love. Like I just needed something new) but yeah.#it has been very hard in my brain lately even though it’s also been very good#like. teaching is just a lot these days. because it takes sooooooo much effort and work to get the kids going intellectually speaking#and one of the only ways I know how to reach them. or at least the lane I’m really driving in right now#(I know there are more ways)#is simply speaking to them above their heads. with passion and energy and a certain degree of expertise#and it’s WORKING#because it wakes them up and makes them want to engage#but I am also moving so fast and so vulnerably for all of my certainty. that it’s just hard.#I need to relax but I can’t. I feel like the devil is behind me every second#this is dramatic. and as Lewis said in surprised by joy it’s only one layer of what’s happening#but it is what happening#a lot of things are unfolding/growing and also the anxiety is terrible
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My disability-adjacent hot take is that subtitles alone aren't really enough. I have trouble differentiating where sound comes from, for instance, so it's wildly helpful to have clarification on where sound is supposed to be coming from (right versus left, ect).
On a related note, if your subtitles are not clear, accurate, or translated in the case of foreign language, your subtitles aren't good. I don't want to read a paraphrased, censored version of what people are saying. I want to know exactly what they're saying because omitting even one word can dramatically change the tone, implication, and the entire meaning of what is said.
#disability#subtilties#like i love that minecraft had (has?) the feature where it points out where sounds are coming from and what is making those sounds#though i don't think i have access to that on my version which SUCKS#(clarification that i play on the nintendo switch because my laptop probably cannot handle minecraft)#(actually it probably could but i don't feel the need to have the PC version)#(maybe one day)#ANYWAY. i think that's an accessibility feature that's sorely lacking and lacking in terms of depth and accuracy#like i love watching breaking bad but the subtitles are TERRIBLE and i hate how censored they are...#...it's like they captioned it like a youtuber would to avoid demonitization (which is also annoying and almost insulting sometimes)...#...like sometimes it comes across as infantilizing for captioners to REFUSE to write the 'fuck' word or 'shit' or ANYthing that's ~raunchy~#especially when you pay for the service/product!!! i HATE it so so so SO much
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also this is just me being pedantic at this point but as someone who Witnessed This Go Down, wangxian wasn't what got ao3 banned in china, it was the rpf ship between the two main actors in cql that got the website banned and the whole incident genuinely almost fucked up both of their careers very badly
#god I'm having terrible flashbacks now#sometimes ppl who haven't liked cql Since The Beginning will say things about it/mdzs and I feel like that aslan gif#don't cite the old magic at me witch or whatever#also to be clear the actual event is like. worse than what people are thinking happened#anyway.#ghost posts#text
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