#isshin the 12th

[your-zipper-is-down]

Baby Haruka chose Violence

[uu-tella]

Full panel under the cut

[wahhbajack]

Something comforting about Kubo letting us see Ichigo and the gang 10 years later in the manga. I hope the anime does it too. Like you get to see little Kazui amd Ichika and all of the gang. Also it's canon that Ichigo misplaces his literal child 😭 Dad of the year.

Tho i dont agree w Sado becoming a boxer tbqh. Using his fists for profit just doesn't seem like something he'd do.

Anyway, 15 y/o me got to crush on 17 y/o Ichigo. And 27 y/o me gets to crush on 27 y/o Ichigo who has a doofy haircut. I also crush on Keigo in his lil ramen shop. Go little silly entrepreneur.

[sashi-ya]

エロチックトバー２０２４ > KINKTOBER 24 MASTERLIST

⚠️ tw: minors do not interact. this is purely nsfw. there are "hard" kinks (marked with a ⚠️) as well as more soft ones. please be sure to read the tws first before engaging with these stories. be aware this content is explicit, you are responsable for what you decide to read.

🐙 october 1st. impregnation. aizen sosuke x f! reader 🐙 october 2nd. monster form. hoshina soshiro x f! reader 🐙 october 3rd. stepcest. portgas d. ace x f! reader ⚠️ 🐙 october 4th. spanking. aizen sosuke x f! reader 🐙 october 5th. mommy/daddy. adult ichigo x f! reader 🐙 october 6th. biting. vinsmoke ichiji x f! reader 🐙 october 7th. anal. trafalgar law x m! reader

🐙 october 8th. bareback. trafalgar law x f! reader 🐙 october 9th. creampie. sabo x f! reader 🐙 october 10th. feminization. ishida uryu x f! reader 🐙 october 11th. humilliation. aizen sosuke x f! reader 🐙 october 12th. lactation. kuchiki byakuya x f! reader 🐙 october 13th. face sitting. eustass kidd x f! reader 🐙 october 14th. hard sex. hibino kafka x f! reader 🐙 october 15th. rimming. orihime inoue x f! reader 🐙 october 16th. cnc. hoshina soshiro x f! reader x narumi gen ⚠️

🐙 october 18th.slave master. shanks x f! reader 🐙 october 19th.onsen/pool/water.soshiro hoshina x f! reader 🐙 october 20th. toys . hirako shinji x f! reader 🐙 october 21st. knife play. soshiro hoshina x f! reader 🐙 october 22nd. watersports. kuchiki byakuya x f! reader ⚠️ 🐙 october 23rd. size kink. nnoitra gilga x f! reader 🐙 october 24th. public. grimmjow x f! reader. 🐙 october 25th. dp. bazz & jugram x f! reader 🐙 october 27th. plane sex. jugram haschwalt x f! reader 🐙 october 28th. shibari. trafalgar lax x gn! reader 🐙 october 29th. cumdump. Isshin Kurosaki x f! reader

coming next.. 🐙 october 17th. threesome. aizen sosuke x f! reader x gin ichimaru - lost the file, i'll write it asap -- i have one already written with this pair, in the meantime you can enjoy this one: 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐃, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐍𝐀𝐊𝐄 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Do you have any plans for what happens with Urahara's shop once Aizen is dealt with? I mostly ask cus the other day I binged the AIEWAM tag, then had a dream about the Shinigami using it as a base of operations in Karakura. I don't know if that is likely, or plausible, but it was fun to picture random shinigami doing customer service.

No that's more or less what happens to it!

After Aizen is dealt with, Urahara is facing some pretty significant personal problems: his rejection by the 12th division, being pregnant with his first child (and Yoruichi's nervous breakdown of impending parenthood) and Nihofornia's National Tax Agency finally catching up to him. As a shinigami, Urahara is aware of the many ways to shimmy around death, but there is no certainty like Taxes.

It's Don Kanonji, the most reasonable and level-headed adult in the whole damn fic, who proposes the solution: between his careers of swimsuit model, UN Translator, exorcist and fashion designer, Don is also a Certified Accountant. After going over she shoebox full of miscellaneous receipts and assorted Papers That Might Be Important, Don negotiates a deal with the tax agency around Kisuke's dubious status as a citizen and even more dubious bookkeeping: kisuke will sell the business to someone with a real social security number and pay up a large percentage of the staggering amount of money he owes in exchange for being allowed to rent the building from the new owners and continue his path to legitimate citizenship and no further financial chicanery.

"Okay, but who's going to pony up the cash? I don't have that kind of money!" Kisuke wails, fully in the grip of second-trimester hormone swings.

"Urahara-san. Kisuke. Sandalhat. Buddy. Pal." Ichigo's classmate Keigo sighs, fondly patting the man on the shoulders as he sat down on the couch beside Urahara. "We're friends, right?"

"We're people who know each other's home addresses." Kisuke sniffles.

"Close enough!" Mizuiro waves, sitting down on Urahara's other side. "-and you're former second division, real cloak-and-dagger stuff. So you know that sometimes it's best to not ask so many questions, right?"

Kisuke frowned with growing suspicion. "I might have been..."

"Great! All you need to do is make Tessai clean out the garage, turn the paperwork over to me and Mizuiro, keep an ear on the line to soul society, and focus on getting this place ready for your little bundle of joy-" Keigo smiled, gesturing around the decidedly bachelor padded living room.

"-and don't worry about where this came from!" Mizuiro chirped happily, hefting a large briefcase onto the table with a loud thud that popped open the lid, revealing a frankly alarming amount of cash inside.

"I'm worrying." Kisuke grimaced.

"We very specifically requested the opposite of that." Keigo pouted.

"That's at least thirty grand in there." Don remarked with a casual glance at the carefully packed but decidedly used bills inside.

"There is Thirty-one thousand, two hundred seventy-eight point oh-six Troyen, which is exactly two and a half times this shop's discretionary income last year, and a very generous price for the business!" Mizuiro beamed.

"Why can't you guys use a normal currency like Kan?" Kisuke pouted, trying to do conversion rates in his head.

"Well for one thing, fiat currency is a hell of a lot better than anything based on the value of rice." Keigo nodded. "Though it is kinda stupid that we didn't update the name after we went off the gold standard during world war three."

"There was a third world war?" Kisuke yelped.

"A cold one, back in the eighties. You didn't notice were busy making sure Isshin and Masaki Kurosaki didn't implode." Tessai called from the kitchen.

"Oh." Urahra mumbled.

"Look, it's really quite simple- you'll go on basically as you have been with the candy shop-" Mizuiro smiled with the soothing demeanor of an unexpected adder. "-only I'll be your landlord and Keigo will be your manager!"

Urahra stared blankly at the boys, then looked up at Don Kanonji, who was reading over the contents of the file folder Mizuiro had handed him when the boys came in. "...That can't possibly be legal, right?"

"Hm?" Don hummed, looking up over his glasses. "Oh, yes. The government would really prefer a check but cash is perfectly legal tender to settle all debts with."

"But they're kids!" Kisuke gestured hysterically between them.

"Okay, Mizuiro might be babyfaced but he turned eighteen last spring and I'll be an adult by the time we turn in all this paperwork in April." Keigo groaned.

"And- and this is clearly Mob Money!" Urahara continued, waving at the briefcase of cash.

"Mister Urahara! I would NEVER-!" Mizuiro gasped with great offense. "I'll have you know all this money came from Perfectly Legitimate Enterprises!" He sniffed, arms crossed and lip pouting.

"That's the name of the Mobile Tech Support business Mizu and I have been running since freshman year!" Keigo beamed. "Makes a good packet, you wouldn't believe the kind of tips the old biddies will give a Nice Young Man in a Smart Uniform who scrapes malware off her online mahjong machine!"

Urahara stared at them blankly, gaze slowly tipping down to the briefcase full of money. "I should learn how to use living world computers."

"NO." Every single person in the building, including the shop kids and Ichigo, who had been passed out under the table after training, but was stirred to consciousness by an impending sense of danger before passing out again.

"Killjoys." Urahra muttered, sulking under his hat.

"Regardless, its a perfectly legal and honestly very generous offer for this heap, and as your financial advisor, I urge you to take it." Don Kanonji glared over his glasses at Urahara.

"So what, you boys get a cut of the candy money and rent? Cause that ain't much of a savvy deal on your end. This place runs at a debt."

"Oh no, you can keep the candy revenue and I'll only ask for enough rent to cover utilities." Mizuiro smiled. "What we want is a cut of your commission as a licensed Gotei-13 outlet contractor!"

"...But I'm not a contractor?" Urahara blinked.

"...Do you just. Not read things before you sign them?" Keigo glared.

"Yeah, you're not just in hock to the NTA, the Soul Revenue Service is after you too for running a fake Gotei-13 service center, and bailing on a century's worth of filings by faking your death." Mizuiro frowned at him with concern. "So e of those papers you signed when you resumed your identity and job as captain- however briefly were the result of Captain Kyoraku cutting you one HELL of a parole deal with the SRS, but the agreement was that Urahara Shoten would be the base of operations for ALL the shinigami operating in Karakura, under the direct supervision and control of the Gotei-13 and he sure wasn't stingy with the budget he gave you! Well. The budget he gave me and Keigo to spend since I'd be the property owner and Keigo would be the business owner."

"Aaaand since you also signed the soul society official secrets agreement, it's not like you can ask someone else to buy you out from the NTA, so not only are we your best offer, we're your ONLY offer!" Keigo grinned.

Urahra stared at them blankly. "You've set me up." He mumbled.

"You sent yourself up for this when you failed to do your due diligence when signing contracts." Don Kanonji corrected him, pulling some documents out of the folder and signing them, before pushing them across the table. "Please actually read these before you si- you've already signed them." Don Kanonji groaned as Urahara slapped the pen back down on the table with spite.

"Fine, fine- I guess I'm back to following orders instead of giving them. What do you want, Boss?" He glared at Keigo.

"Put your feet up and finish putting together that gift list for the baby shower." Keigo nodded. "We weren't kidding that your first priority is getting this place ready for baby... Does it have a name yet?"

"...No." Kisuke wilted despondently. "Yoruichi still isn't answering my texts!"

"Hm." Keigo nodded. "Okay, put your feet up, finish that baby shower list and think of a name for the little rugrat. Just leave the rest to us for now!"

"You guys are good kids." Kisuke smiled weakly.

"Would you be willing to make a sworn statement to that effect, so we can have it on file for any future HR disputes?" Mizuiro smiled.

"Absolutely goddamn not." Kisuke glared.

[littleeyesofpallas]

once again piggybacking off this post; it's wild that fter all that shit I had to comb thru, this is basically the full extent of women as background and barely-characters in Bleach. I put all the actual named characters up top, and bundled the ones that actually come back after an extended period of time, and don't just exist exclusively in the confines of a single scene/chapter.

In row 3, 5th-6th from the left, is the girl Orihime mugge for her shihakusho disguise during the original ss infiltration(which we later learn was in 12th division when her and Uryuu's cover is blown), and then a girl who showed up in the TYBW arc operating equipment during the second Quincy invasion

In the last row there, 2nd-3rd from the left, is the woman who served tea to Kaien and Ukitake, and then the girl Rangiku borrowed an identical serving tray from to throw at Isshin; are they the same girl like 100 years apart still stuck serving drinks??? Who can say...

super awkward that the entire 4th row are girls who show up to like, kinda fawn over more central characters?

The two barely visible girls blush and say hi to Renji on his way to visiting' Rukia's jail cell.

The one girl blushes and says hi to lt.Aizen.

The three girls in the helljaws oneshot are giggling about Atau playing with animals.

Funny enough 5th row, 4th from the left, is actually the one person not swooning over Unohana in the scene she's in, while the 3 guys she's with are.

[bleachbleachbleach]

Why Einaudi’s “Experience” is my HitsuHina Anthem

For @hitsuhina-week's Two Weeks of HitsuHina 2024, [December 12th] Day 4: Music!

Bleach is not something I associate a lot of music with. Which totally goes against Kubo’s whole aesthetic, but it is what it is. I do have one song, though, and that song is Ludovico Einaudi’s “Experience” from his 2013 album, In a Time Lapse. (I also link the song at the end of this post, but if you'd like to listen to it while you read, here's a link here too!) This song expresses everything I love about Hitsugaya and Hinamori’s relationship: It’s minimalist and built on repetitions on a theme, and evokes for me that sense of ellipsis I find so captivating about the way they play out in Bleach.

Hitsugaya and Hinamori don’t necessarily have many scenes together, but they have so much history; and every time we see them it’s clear things have happened or been experienced or ruminated upon that we have not been privy to—that perhaps no one has been privy to. Sometimes the repetitions are familiar, seasonal, built on orbit around each other, and sometimes they are traumatic lurches backward into memory, or forward into unknown ambition. Owing to the title of the song, maybe it’s more accurate to call it experience rather than history, given how apparent it is that their relationship is something they are very much still living through. Yet there’s a stillness to the tumult (a minimalism, or ellipse) that makes what they have feel simultaneously inexorable while also being deeply fragile. Their bond does not require an everyday—to be present in each other’s lives at all times, in all ways—but they also couldn’t ever have that.

Below the cut: William Blake, some Isshin Disappearance thoughts, the absurdity(?) of Aizen having been invited to Hitsugaya's bday bash, and one of my favorite chapters (168--and, as an added bonus, one of my favorite Kiras)!

On “Experience”

Thinking about experience always makes me think of William Blake’s “Songs of Innocence and Experience,” illuminated poems published in the late 1700s. Which is a funny place for my mind to go, because I don’t actually know that much about Britain, the Romantic Period, or poetry. But I do know that the poems are about childhood, “Experience” tending toward the darker topics of sad British children chimney sweeps, etc., and the poems in “Innocence” being, on their surface, lighter and sweeter. Conventional logic argues that the “Experience” poems are more interesting, because they’re sad and allow critics to get at questions of class, social injustice broadly writ (and, knowing Britain, probably, at some point, empire). But careful readers of “Innocence” actually find them the more complex, because the surface reading is so innocuous as to hide the ways their seemingly more saccharine presentation undergirds yet more incisive social critique.　Granted, ~incisive social critique~ is not my first interest wrt Hitsugaya and Hinamori, because I am 100% characters first, from the vantage point of those characters, but where Hitsugaya and Hinamori end up in relation to Soul Society and the Gotei and the forms of expectations foisted upon or betrayed utterly for them are very much why I love them and think they’re interesting—especially because it’s so quiet, and mostly in the in-betweens between panels and scenes and arcs, and never actually part of the A-plot. And I think this challenge of the "experience" and "Innocence" poems and which allows for what exploration is a really good encapsulation of what I see in their relationship.

Like the “Innocence” poems, I think it’s easy for them to be read as wholly sweet (well, for Hinamori. I think it’d be harder for someone to read Hitsugaya as wholly sweet, but “boring” seems like it’d come easily enough); I also think it’s easy for them slot them into a surface reading of an “Experience” poem, which in this case would translate to reading them into pre-fab angst narratives filled with uhhh the Gotei equivalent of sad British chimney sweep kids. That alone misses the mark for me, too, though, because even as all these absurd, dire things happen to them/by them—in ways that make it onto the page in these flashpoint moments—*most of the time* they’re making do, doing their jobs, existing largely outside the primary story, and bearing what will, and that’s just as important to me as the flashpoints.

Which brings me back to my *song* because like I said at the start, “Experience” is fairly minimalist; it’s the same repetition of notes, layered into each other, evocative of the album’s eponymous time lapse. But the layers build and build and that minimalism is not ever actually stoic of restrained—it hits its crescendo and there’s a keening quality to the release of it. The song is hopeful and soaring, but also wistful, but also made to bear the memory of all those measures and measures of repetitions.

It evokes for me all my favorite thing about Hitsugaya and Hinamori’s relationship: the measured resilience; the sense of relation and indebtedness; the more frenetic audacity of hope/survival; and also ruination, though not in the typical sense.

Here is a scattershot of thoughts that made “Experience” my HitsuHina anthem:

1. The efficiency with which both Hitsugaya and Hinamori are thrust into “Experience” over innocence, via Trauma Field Trips and meeting Captain Aizen in such circumstances; and nighttime visitations by whole dragons; Hinamori’s expeditious rise to VC and Hitsugaya being pushed into captaincy out of exigency. Neither of them are all that old, and certainly not by shinigami standards; but the time lapse is chock full before the story even starts. And not to wed Einaudi to Smash Mouth, but like, forget years, Bleach starts and the days start coming and they don’t stop coming.

2. A hypothetical: I wonder about Isshin’s disappearance and what that was like for Hinamori. Is that an experience within the purview of their relationship? I feel like Hinamori’s first instinct is yes, because why wouldn’t it be? Why wouldn’t everything? But maybe this is also a moment that clarifies what exists within a Division and what exists without it, what perhaps belongs only to Hitsugaya and Matsumoto. (Well, between Matsumoto and many, but between Matsumoto and how many, really, in a genuine and 100% sense? Maybe only Hitsugaya, and only when they realize that’s the case. Maybe this is the moment where they realize that for some things, that will be the case.) Which isn’t to say that grief can’t have many kinds of conversation partners, but the term “division” isn’t meaningless and Hinamori believes in a certain sanctity, intimacy, between Captain and officers, and maybe this is one of those moments where Hinamori realizes her role is particular, in the way that her own relationship to her Captain and how it makes sense to share or expect others to share in it has maybe always been. (There’s room here to jumpstart some thoughts about Kira and Renji here, too, I would imagine.)

3.

[Bleach 168.5]

It's striking to me that Hinamori invited Aizen to Hitsugaya's birthday bash. Because like, on one hand, sure, of course she did. But on the other she easily could have made this one-on-one time, and she doesn't. She invites her whole-ass captain to come sit on a roof with the 10th, and it's not because anyone thought, yes, Hitsugaya definitely wants to spend his birthday with Captain Aizen. This is one of the new formations of their relationship--and with Aizen and Matsumoto are a part of it. And I think it does matter that they're having this conversation about existence and selfhood finding ways to anchor oneself in this/a life up on that roof.

I love imagining the ways this new formation also structures or echoes through the way the Soul Society arc plays out, as well—Aizen’s letter Hitsugaya has Matsumoto deliver, only to be betrayed by its contents; the presumptive trust Hitsugaya has placed in Aizen on account of Hinamori being so devoted to him, despite not acting like he has or has sought out an overabundance of direct experience with Aizen; the ways he is then blindsided by Hinamori’s actions (and later, her plea via worm TV) even more so than by Aizen’s machinations, which are both the root cause of it all but also, somehow, secondary in impact. Hinamori is always the center.

4. Except when she's not:

[Bleach 168]

I love this scene. Kira in his villain era (however reluctant) is absolutely serving. Imagine being able to tell Hitsugaya that he hadn't been paying enough attention to Hinamori and being this right about it. It doesn't really have anything to do with not realizing Hinamori is a kidou expert. She's not VC for nothing. But it has a lot to do with not quite grasping what Aizen meant to her. Someone precious, in ways beyond Hitsugaya's ken; and also ways Hitsugaya doesn't really want to know about, both because he probably can't understand them and because that's between them, isn't it. That's theirs, not his.

[Bleach 168]

As he's thinking about this, he knows all these things about Hinamori; Kira didn't reveal new information. He just hadn't quite clocked-- [ellipsis]

Also, lol at "Hinamori still thinks I killed Aizen!" because I think it's completely legit that he would have forgotten this, because it's too absurd to stick in memory--too absurd to everyone except Hinamori. And for that to be true means that [ellipsis].

5. Ellipsis:

[Bleach 180]

Obviously, the silence here is Hitsugaya being Hitsugaya. It's also the guilt, about the whole of everything but also not know what to do about any of the afterward. But I kind of love that yet another flavor here does have to do with the consequence of these relational formations that made room for Aizen but also foreclosed really knowing him that well--formations begun by the nature of the Gotei and built by their rising through the ranks and play-tested in Isshin's disappearance. I've said this elsewhere, probably in tags I'll never find again, but I think that while all this was awful and unpleasant for Hitsugaya, I don't think it genuinely, permanently hurt until Hinamori, weeping in Yamamoto's TV room, begged him to save Aizen, and Hitsugaya knew for sure how much was never going to be completely the same and how affecting this was for Hinamori. Hinamori turning her sword on him? Not ideal, but in the long run, water off a duck. Aizen's betrayal? Easy enough to kindle into straightforward rage (even if that gets messy and actually not that easy, as it festers). Aizen almost killing Hinamori? Bad, but as long as she lives, possible to move past. Aizen almost killing Hitsugaya? Whatever. But seeing that deep, deep damage in her? There's no coming back from that.

There is, however, moving forward.

Coda

After the Winter War, there’s no cameras on any moments of direct contact between Hitsugaya and Hinamori, and I would argue that their interactions *in the Winter War* don’t necessarily count as direct, given the physical distance/attentive distance and then layers of illusion involved. But I don’t get the impression that that means they literally never interact, just because we didn’t see it. For one, Hitsugaya did not fuck off to some cave just to never speak to Hinamori again; and it’s not like Hinamori is an avoider of, well, anything. I still don’t think they spent a lot of time together, because of having do deal with the broader *societal shambles* and rebuilding the 5th and being roped into the quotidian maw of the Gotei machine that is probably still chewing them up and spitting them out but that they are maybe refusing to believe must be damned as monstrous. 

It comes back to that inexorable/fragile duality for me, where there’s a certain unerring confidence in their bond that allows them to be separate, in spite of all the things that are part of their relationship that probably still hurt, might always hurt, or aren’t ever going to be the same. Their willingness to allow these things to coexist  as an element of their relationship; their lives, for their senses of the world—that willingness to hold the shrapnel —really sings to me:

Here's an arrangement more marked by some of the hesitations/fraught ellipses, too:

[whitefoxfiction]

☾༓ I will preface this list by saying my list of characters that I am comfortable may change as time goes on. I am very new to this, so I still need to polish my characterizations, and that will be harder for some characters than others!

Content Types

☾༓ I want to try my hand at a variety of content types, but I plan to focus mostly on headcanons, imagines, and short scenarios for this blog. I will only be taking requests for this type of short(er)-form content. I have longer stories floating around my head that I want to write at some point. Anything I write with multiple chapters will be posted on my Archive of Our Own. ☾༓ I will write both SFW and NSFW content (no crossovers). I do not shy away from themes that are dark, gory, or traumatic, but everything will be well tagged! If you feel I missed a tag, please DM me. You are responsible for minding the tags!! See below for specifics about characters and ships that I will not write. Please see the Rules here!

☾༓ Most content will likely be headcanons or character x reader (afab!reader if nothing is specified; see Rules). Character x Character pairings are okay to request, with some caveats (see Ships section below). By nature, char x reader and anything AU-related is probably going to be a little OOC at points, but I plan to try keeping canon characters in-character as much as possible. Certain characters (Ulquiorra, Aizen and Mayuri for example) are not nice, fluffy characters canonnically, so if that’s what you want, please specify that in your request! ☾༓ I will try to pick a tone appropriate to the piece. Keep in mind there is a difference between romance and erotica. For NSFW items, let me know if you have a preference between a style that is more euphemistic and one that uses slang, or if there are certain words or phrases that you just can’t stand. I default to writing in 3rd person perspective but might other perspectives if I’m feeling it.

☾༓ Lastly, I am a self-indulgent fan first and foremost. This blog is meant to be fun, and if it’s not fun for me, I won’t write it.

Characters

☾༓ I am most comfortable writing for the Shinigami/ Vizards as a rule, with the Espada/Arrancar coming in second. The ones I feel would come easiest to me are (in no particular order): Izuru Kira, Akon, Ikakku Madarame, Yumichika Ayasegawa, Kisuke Urahara, Shunsui Kyōraku, Renji Abarai, Rangiku Matsumoto, Shinji Hirako, Rose Ōtoribashi, Kensei Muguruma, Lisa Yadomaru, Grimmjow, Stark, Tres Bestias (Halibel’s fraccion), Nelliel, Szayel, and that jerk, Aizen. ☾༓ That being said, I will make an attempt to try writing for just about any of the Shinigami and consider the other Espada/ Arrancar on a case-by-case basis, but they aren’t a hard no. I will also take requests for the World of the Living gang (nsfw ONLY for Isshin, Ryūken, Tessai, Yoruichi, Urahara and Post TYBW humans. See exceptions below). ☾༓ At this time, I have no interest in writing for the other Fullbringers or any Quincy characters other than or characters introduced in light novels or having no dialogue in the manga.. ☾༓ I do not take requests for NSFW for the following: Shinigami - Yamamoto, Chōjiro Sasakibe, Okikiba, Ōmaeda, Hanatarō, Rikichi, Komamura, Hitsugaya, Hiyosu or any of the unnamed 12th division freaks. Arrancar/Espada – Zommari, Aaroniero, Yammy, Barriagan, none of the privarón Espada, Luppi, Wonderweiss, Rudbornn, Lillinette, none of Szayel’s fracción, none of Grimmjow’s fracción, neither of Nel’s fracción, Nirgge, or Choe Neng Poww. None of the Fullbringers at this time. World of the Living – Jinta, Ururu, Yuzu, Karin (even aged up). Any of the humans pre-TYBW (and probably not then unless it’s a super interesting ask.

Ships

☾༓ I will probably write more char x reader and HC stuff than anything, but I will certainly consider ‘ship requests. Taking a ‘ship request doesn’t mean I think it has any merit in canon, nor does it mean I personally like the ‘ship much. It just means I’m fulfilling a request. I have some ‘ships I’m more partial to than others, but none that I take seriously outside what is canon. ☾༓ However, I have some ‘ships I really don’t want to write. I won’t write IchiRuki simply because the history of IchiRuki vs IchiHime wars in fandom. Yes, it’s a small minority of people that cause drama, but I’m still reluctant to even go there. For the most part, I’m not going to be into writing Ichigo, Orihime, Renji or Rukia in ships other than what is in canon. Feel free to ask about crack slash ‘ships for those four and I will consider on a case-by-case basis if it’s meant to be mostly for SFW comedy purposes. ☾༓ I have a small army of OCs that I adore and am putting a LOT of work into. I have a mostly-formed,plot-heavy, half-crack epic fic in mind that will not leave me alone. It’s a cringe fest of a post-tybw continuation/divergence where I shamelessly indulge in shipping an OC with like 15 or so characters. I reserve the right to pester you all by introducing my OCs and short stories containing them from time to time. I’ll tag that stuff (if I post it) so you can skip it if you want, but I hope you’ll give my brain children a chance.

[bornhollow]

TEMP MUSE LIST

abarai renji >> shinigami. 6th division lieutenant. he/him.

aizen sosuke >> shinigami. former 5th division captain. he/him

akon >> shinigami/oni. 12th division lieutenant. he/him

aikawa "love" rabu >> visored. former 7th division captain. he/him.

coyote starrk >> hollow. 1st espada. he/they.

grimmjow jaegerjaquez >> hollow. 6th espada. he/him.

hirako shinji >> visored. 5th division captain. he/they.

hisagi shuhei >> shinigami. 9th division co-lieutenant. he/him

ishida ryuken >> quincy. hospital director. he/him.

ishida uryu >> quincy. student. he/him

kenpachi zaraki >> shinigami. 11th division captain. he/him.

kurosaki ichigo >> shinigami/quincy/yokai. substitute shinigami. he/him.

kurosaki isshin >> shinigami/human. former 10th division captain. he/him.

kyoraku shunsui >> shinigami. captain-commander of gotei 13/former 8th division captain. he/him.

madarame ikkaku >> shinigami. 11th division lieutenant/former 3rd seat. he/him.

muguruma kensei >> visored. 9th division captain. he/him

urahura kisuke >> shinigami. former 12th division captain. he/him

ocs

kaneko hoshi >> shinigami. 4th division officer. he/they.

saito michiyo >> shinigami. 9th division 3rd seat. they/them.

saito miyuki >> soul. head of the noble house saito. she/her

sayaka >> shinigami. 8th division officer. she/they.

takeda miyu >> human (spiritually aware). student. she/they

[turnbackthependulum]

Let's make things easier for all of us, shall we?

If you're new here, welcome. This is a blog full of shitposts about BLEACH, the masterpiece created by Tite Kubo. I do post/reblog actual quotes from the manga or scenes from the anime, but only like 0.1% of the time.

Below are the main categories you can use to find specific interactions between various characters. It probably won't lead you to find every single thing that's been posted in this blog (for example, Espada-Shinigami interactions, etc.) but you can at least get almost all the incorrect quotes via this hashtag -> #incorrect bleach

Quotes which I think the characters would highly likely say can be found here -> #things they'd totally say

Everything Karakura Town:

» Karakura Gang (includes Ichigo & his schoolmates, Ichigo's family, Rukia & Kon, Ikumi-san & her son, everyone associated with Urahara's Store, as well as the Visoreds & Fullbringers too) » Karakura High School students » The Kurosaki Family » Urahara Shop (specifically those in Urahara Shop, including Yoruichi, and yes RENJI too) » Visored » The Ishida Family » Fullbringers » Mayuri's Washing Machine Inspiration Backstory au » Zaraki's Squad in Karakura Town au » Grimmjow (g)raveyard party in Karakura Town au » Karakura High School English Lesson au

Everything Soul Society:

» Gotei 13 Captains only » Gotei 13 » Royal Guard/Squad 0 » 1st Division • 2nd Division • 3rd Division • 4th Division • 5th Division • 6th Division • 7th Division • 8th Division • 9th Division • 10th Division • 11th Division • 12th Division • 13th Division » Shinigami Women's Association » Shinigami Men's Association » Shin'ō Academy au » Turn Back the Pendulum arc au » Yamamoto's Past au » "Accidents happen, don't they?" - Shunsui Kyoraku au » Washing Machine isn't for humans, Kurotsuchi-taicho! au » Keigo cuts hair in Soul Society au » Mayuri discovers Spottyfy [Spotify] au

Everything Las Noches:

» Arrancar, in general » Espadas » Espadas trying to hack Aizen's personal computer series au » Featuring the 'troublemaker trio' - aka Nnoitra, Grimmjow & Szayelaporro

Everything Wandenreich:

» Sternritters

Lists of other AU that I've made up or taken inspiration from popular/known sources:

» Adventures of Renji, Rangiku, Toshiro, Ikkaku & Yumichika au (spinoff from "The Shinigami Have Come!" episode) » Gin, Rangiku & Toshiro live together under one roof au » Shinji's Cooking Show au » "I wasn't that drunk last night" series au » Nnoitra committed the "7 Deadly Sins" under an hour au » Isshin, Car & Reservations au » Overprotective papa Toshiro au » Puns for Fun! » "It's 3 AM go to bed" series au

[uu-tella]

Full panel under the cut

[gallusrostromegalus]

Running gags in AEIWAM, a list:

Uryuu is bad at being a Quincy. Mizuiro is worse.

Sneezecut

Ichigo having calling literally anybody BUT Isshin in an emergency.

Leading actions (instead of theme music, a specific thing happens just before/when a character enters the scene) that are also jokes.

~*BIRD TIIIIIME*~ At the [location]!

Plot-Relevant Middle School Girl Drama

Exactly Three people actually speak German and all of them insist the other two have terrible accents

Fibercraft Discourse

People repeatedly getting the very wrong idea that Kenpachi is secretly Byakuya's biological father, until someone manages to get it even wronger.

The Karakura Gang is sure that Chad is a delicate flower who must be protected, despite him literally never losing.

Tousen's ongoing battle to keep the Seireitei Bulletin Horoscope-free.

Yamamoto's Poor Hiring Decisions

12th division is the Denny's of the Gotei-13

The Jushiro Ukitake Minimum Security Institute For Pyromaniacs

[cherubsoda]

im still rambling god im dying i keep repeating myself but

tldr: im making aizen lonely and s/i stuff in tags

[rayshippouuchiha]

In the RMF AU (for Urahara) I am extremely curious about how the Gotei 13 would react when they actually meet the elder sister of the twins - because, 1), she's so powerful even Yamamoto himself would probably do a double take, and 2), she looks so much like Kaien Shiba it's terrifying

I honestly high key want it to be a bit of a comedy of near misses for the Gotei 13 for a while when it comes to Ichigo being full-out revealed.

Like, Kisuke's been watching the twins more often now that Ichigo trusts him with them so they win over the 12th Division pretty quickly and it ripples out from there because the twins favorite subject is absolutely how awesome and cool their Ichi-nee is.

And they tell some buck ass wild stories about her.

But no matter how people linger around the 12th Division and Kisuke himself on the days he has the twins, something always happens to where no one actually gets to see the mythical Ichigo much less outright meet her.

(Isshin is also like stuck in a hole somewhere or something so he's one of the very few who doesn't hear the gossip and bets about Urahara's mysterious lady love, or at least he never runs across the twins and never hears Ichigo's name being spoken)

Things escalate, people start taking bets, and eventually, it snowballs into people actively hunting for her.

Which in turn does nothing but piss Ichigo off once she catches wind of what's going on.

So the day everyone finally meets her is when she rocks up pissed off about everything that's going on.

Needless to say, Kisuke ends up even more smitten than before somehow and everyone else is low-key to high-key traumatized.

[chocobothis]

Bleach OCs (Batch One)

I have a whole bunch of Bleach OCs because this is where my brain is. Now everyone can meet these Horrible Rascals (Affectionate). Hopefully, getting it all out makes it easier to switch back to my regularly scheduled programing. All of their information is set maybe two weeks max after the Ryoka Invasion and during the Winter War. I also have a lot of headcanons for how the Seireitei, Gotei 13, etc work and will elaborate on that later on. Basically, I took a bunch of worldbuilding I liked and went, “I can make these even better!”

Name: Tayasu, Shinobu “Nobu” Race: Shinigami Nationality: Japanese Birthday: January 13, 1845 Death Day: January 20, 1865 Gender: Non-binary (She/Her cause they’ve not realized they’re trans yet) Sexuality: Bisexual Height: 5’5” (165 cm) Weight: 115 lbs (52.2 kg) - Affiliation: Seireitei, Shiba Clan Previous Affiliation(s): Shinsengumi, Tayasu Clan Profession: Shinigami, Retainer Position: Acting Captain Previous Position(s):    - Seat 18th-3/Onmitsukido (2nd)    - Seat 15 (12th)    - Seat 12 (4th)    - Seat 8, Seat 3/Onmitsukido (2nd)    - Seat 7 (4th)    - Seat 4 (13th) Division: 5th Previous Division(s): 2nd, 4th, 12th, 13th Base of Operations: 5th Division - Relative(s):    - Tayasu, Ayumu - Third Cousin, Husband when human (Alive)    - Tayasu, Noburu - Father (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Yukimi - Mother (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Shigeo- 2nd Cousin Once Removed, Father-in-law (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Kameko - 2nd Cousin Once Removed by Marriage, Mother-in-Law (Deceased) Education: Shin’o Academy - Shikai: Tatakai no Chuushin (Heart of Battles) Bankai: Tatakai no Chuushin: Ryuuketsu no Yuuwa (Bloody Appeasement) - Notes: - Nobu was aware of ghosts their entire human life. - They remember their human life which makes for funny moments. - They’re Polyam. - They’re AFAB and were raised as an onna-musha by their doting father. Noburu didn’t have a male heir and decided that firmly was not a problem. His baby girl would be his heir. - While in a relationship with Ayumu then (and now) they don’t really consider their marriage to have carried over. So, they do romantically pursue others and share about it. - They’re a retainer for the Shiba Clan under Shiba, Isshin (along with Ayumu) but actually attended the Shin’o Academy with his nephew, Kaien, for two years. They knew each other beforehand and shared a class and quick graduation too.

XxXxX

Name: Tayasu, Ayumu Race: Shinigami Nationality: Japanese Birthday: March 03, 1840 Death Day: January 20, 1865 Gender: Male (Gender Non-Confirming) Sexuality: Homoflexible Height: 5’7” (170.2 cm) Weight: 125 lbs (56.7 kg) - Affiliation: Seireitei, Shiba Clan Previous Affiliation(s): Tayasu Clan Profession: Shinigami, Retainer Position: 9th Seat Previous Position(s): Various Seated and Unseated Division: 4th Previous Division(s): n/a Base of Operations: 4th Division - Relative(s):    - Tayasu, Shinobu - Third Cousin, Wife When Living (Alive)    - Tayasu, Noburu - Father (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Yukimi - Mother (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Shigeo- 2nd Cousin Once Removed, Father-in-law (Deceased)    - Tayasu, Kameko - 2nd Cousin Once Removed by Marriage, Mother-in-Law (Deceased) Education: Shin’o Academy - Shikai: Utau Senshi (Singing Warrior) Bankai: Not Yet Achieved - Notes - He was born seeing but went blind from a fever when he was 12. Considering it almost took his life he can handle this. - From birth he was aware of spirits. When Nobu’s mother died in birth he saw her spirit before her konso. - He remembers his human life and is pretty chill about most of it. Would rather have forgotten him and Nobu drowning but details. - Even though he was born into a samurai family he didn’t really care for battle. It was something he did and learned because it was tradition. Not to say he was bad but he just didn’t have the passion for it. Battle and Leading was always Nobu’s forte. He was always happy to support them. - He’s happily polyam but doesn’t really want a relationship outside of Nobu for the moment. - When he attended the academy he was year mates with Kaien’s future wife, Miyako. They were thick as thieves from the get go and spent all six years together.

XxXxX

Name: Yoshinaga, Kiku (Kuroda, Shungiku at birth) Race: Shinigami (Gemischt Quincy when alive) Nationality: Japanese Birthday: February 14, 1800 Death Day: June 21, 1806 Gender: Female Sexuality: Queer Height: 4’7” (139.7cm) Weight: 75 lbs (34 kg) - Affiliation: Seireitei, Shihouin Clan Previous Affiliation(s): N/A Profession: Shinigami Position: 3rd Seat/Onmitsukido Previous Position(s): 8th, 13th, 18th-1 Division: 2nd Previous Division(s): N/A Base of Operations: 2nd Division - Relative(s):    - Shihouin, Yoruichi - Older Sister Figure (Alive)    - Urahara, Kisuke - Older Brother Figure (Alive)    - Tsukabishi, Tessai - Older Brother Figure (Alive)    - Kuroda, Fumiyo - Mother (Echt Quincy)(Dead)    - Kuroda, Masato/Yoshinaga, Nori (Spiritually Aware Human)(Dead) Education: Shin’o Academy - Shikai: Hoshizora (Starry Sky) Bankai: Hoshizora: Fukushuunoowari (Starry Sky: Vengeful End) - Notes - Kiku died from being struck by lightning. As a result, she has the lichtenberg scars on the entire left half of her body. They seemed to only solidify when she was konsoed. - She honestly knew nothing of her Quincy Heritage until she met Ishida, Uryuu. Her father pretended he got her ability to see spirits from him. Because her mother was killed in the Quincy Extermination in 1801. She was the head of the Kuroda Clan and led them into battle, giving her life so her husband and daughter could escape. When her father told her about the monsters in black and white she assumed they were the hollows she sometimes saw, not the shinigami. - Gives exactly zero fucks about being polite when it comes to names and honorifics. She calls most people by their first name or nicknames, skips most honorifics, and lets that be someone else’s problem. - For several decades after her death she lived in North 75th District regarded as something of a yokai. The Shinigami ignored a lot of the chatter from the locals because nothing about their yokai shared no hollow characteristics. Urahara and Yoruichi found her by chance. For them it was easy to piece together things like her “eating people's lives” was her reiatsu (and future shikai) seeking out reishi and reiryoku to fuel it. - She’s published several highly successful serial novels in the Seireitei Communication. When she was alone she made up stories to amuse herself then refined it when she found out her best friend, Nanao, loves to read. They’re her little love letters to Nanao for being her best friend since they’ve met. - Because she’s a ward of the Shihouin Clan her attending the Shin’o Academy was a formality. It was known almost from the start she would join the 2nd Division and Onmitsukidou with Yoruichi and Co. But, she stayed all six years because of Nanao. They were both the only “little girls” in the Academy and she worried about her being alone. So, she stayed so they could have as much time together as possible.

[fission-mailure]

Bleach stuff

Okay, apparently the 10th Division captain who had recently died in Turn Back The Pendulum is actually the first 10th Division captain, who we now know was Furuoki Otogawa, and that’s kind of hilarious.

Like, the 10th Division has had three entire captains in its thousand year long history, one of which was a child. 33.3% of all 10th Division captains are children. Isshin’s predecessor served for nearly nine-hundred years, and then Isshin served for maybe about twenty. 

This might not even be that unusual. Obviously, the 1st has had one captain until Yamamoto dies. It’s entirely plausible that there’s only been two 4th Division captains (not counting Isane). It seems more than likely that Shunsui and Ukitake, as Yamamoto’s students, were the second captains ever of their respective divisions. Given that Ginrei was 6th Division captain and was pretty damn old when he retired, he could very easily have been only the second 6th captain, making Byakuya the third. 

This would make the 11th Division (11 captains) a huge outlier, but it’s the division where you become captain by murdering your predecessor, so of course it is. Weirdly, it’d also make the 12th Division an outlier -- it has at least four captains (Uhin Zenjoji, Kiria Hikifune, Urahara Kisuke, Mayuri Kurotsuchi) and probably had at least one more, since it seems dubious that Kiria ‘like a mother’ ‘powerset involving magical food’ Hikifune came immediately after Uhin ‘literally a monster clown’ Zenjoji.