#isn't that what makes them role models for a culture??

[seventeendeer]

this isn't at all meant to be condescending or finger-waggy because 100% we all have blind spots like this, but I'm really, really hoping that the people who never found Gaiman's approach to his own fandom concerning in any way will take this all as a learning moment.

he was an older, hyper-famous author engaging directly and frequently with an online audience of largely vulnerable young marginalized people. he presented himself as cultured and worldly, and made himself approachable as someone to go to for advice, encouragement and "wisdom." his manner of speech was extremely pathos-heavy and clearly intended to be comforting and encouraging in exactly the way his target demographic needed it to be to swallow every word. the way he spoke about stories and creativity was designed to make young creative hopefuls feel special and important, while sweeping real analytical techniques under the rug - in hindsight, likely so no one would think too critically about the disturbing amount of patriarchal abuse played for cheap shock value and voyerism in his own body of works.

Gaiman saw a target demographic that was desperate for an older creative role model to tell them they were worth something, and he exploited that pain to twist a narrative around himself where he was king and any critique leveled at him or his works were the enemy.

to be clear, he could have been innocent. he could totally have been just an out-of-touch old man saying nice things to people because he wanted to be kind and he thought he was a lot smarter than he really was. red flags are warning signs, not a surefire way to tell if someone is actually "secretly shitty."

but if you used to look up to him, PLEASE take this moment to revisit the ideas you absorbed from him. did you take his words to heart because they seemed to have objective merit? or did you take them to heart because it felt good to believe what he said? do you still hold these values? does knowing he was intentionally manipulating his online audience make you less certain? do you need more information from a different source before deciding one way or another?

again, I'm just really, really hoping people on here will take a moment to reevaluate the ideas and opinions he's injected into tumblr fandom culture, because his reach is immense and he has absolutely been manipulating popular perception of relevant topics to gain further influence and control the narrative around both his own and Pratchett's legacy. please, please take this moment to notice what he's been doing - and next time someone tries to pull the same shit, hopefully we'll be able to apply what we've learned from experience.

[genderkoolaid]

hey, i don’t know if you know the answer to this, but from what ive seen on your blog you are really well informed about gender stuff. so i saw someone say that transmedicalism is inherently racist and ableist. i was under the impression that transmedicalism is just believing that you need dysphoria to be trans. how is that inherently racist and ableist? if you don’t know the answer that’s okay and i am sorry for bothering you

For the racism:

Transmedicalism is fundamentally based on a Western understanding of transness as a medical disorder. But throughout human cultures, the experience we label as "transness" is seen in a ton of different ways. Many of these do not place special emphasis on one's discomfort with their assigned gender role (assuming that concept is even applicable). On top of it being a generally problematic way of constructing transness, it isn't relevant to all trans people. Transmedicalism tends to be very exorsexist (not believing in nonbinary identity); this is obviously at odds with cultures that have always had gender identities outside of a strictly female/strictly male binary. Transmedicalism tends to be at odds with a culturally relativistic way of understanding transness because of its roots in the Western medical system, which views itself as objective and authoritative.

For the ableism, I'm not 100% what the person you saw's argument was exactly. But I have seen people make the argument that it is ableist because many people have disabilities that prevent them from accessing medical transition in various ways. Now, many transmeds are more concerned with people's desires than what they can feasibly attain; that being said, the way transmedicalism tends to manifest and the worldview it promotes means that everyone who isn't cis(het)-passing tends to be viewed with extreme suspicion. When you divide all trans people into "Real Transgenders" and "fakers who make us look bad," there's an impetus for everyone to constantly be monitoring others' and their own behavior for any signs of impurity. Which means people who can't afford medical transition, people who physically can't get it, people who don't want it, people who are gender-nonconforming (at least in the "wrong ways"), non-white and non-Western people who don't perform to white Western standards of gender... they all tend to be heavily scrutinized. Additionally, transness being medicalized means its subject to the ableism inherent to our medical system. Transness being a disorder means its seen as a problem in need of solving, as a disruption in need of re-aligning with the status quo.

On a more general note: transness-as-a-medical-condition undoubtedly emerged from cissexist views on transness & a desire to control trans people's minds and bodies to prevent us from meaningfully threatening the patriarchy. That doesn't mean anyone is wrong for feeling that is the best way to describe their transness. But as a model for transness in general, it has major flaws, has caused clear harm, and there are very good reasons for moving away from it.

[mswyrr]

People are very confused by femmes, aren't they? A femme girl who dreams of being another girl's wife is being very queer. Her femininity and desire to act as a lady wife isn't an object for anyone's use (as Otto and Viserys treated it), it's an expression of herself and her desire. It ought to be a source of pleasure for her, with the girl (or person of another gender) she loves, not a duty or obligation where she has to pour that out for just anyone. (Like Otto and Viserys treated it).

It is the difference between singing because you're happy and singing because someone is pointing a gun at you. "But you're a singer, you can do it and even like it, so why does it matter if you're being forced to or not?" Of course it matters! The context is everything. A woman who can enjoy being feminine and loving in a wifely way doesn't owe that to everyone; she should have the freedom to do it in ways that give her pleasure and satisfaction. Forcing her to do it when she doesn't want to--to be the lady wife of a gross old man when she wanted to be his daughter's wife--is a violation.

When thinking about queer women, people need to dismantle a whole lot of baggage heteropatriarchy has given them about what these feelings and roles have to mean - dismantle the rigidity and the idea that femininity is an object for use vs. a form of personal *expression*. This dismantling is something that needs to be done re: feminine straight women too, of course. (And the idea that straight women owe people femininity is nonsense: sexuality, gender, and gender expression are distinct things in a Venn diagram with each other).

A femme queer girl is just as radically queer (and whenever women do not accept their interpersonal femininity, feminine ways of loving, and their bodies as an object of use vs a cite of their own pleasure and expression that is inherently radical) as a futch or butch or etc queer girl.

Sure, a homophobe like Criston can look at Alicent and see a "normal woman" because she's feminine and assume that her love for Rhaenyra is due to Rhaenyra being the "unnatural woman" who "intoxicated" her... but that's because he's a homophobe who doesn't know wtf he's saying. His entire culture has trained him to be completely incapable of seeing what is right in front of his eyes.

The fact that huge swaths of modern day fandom truly aren't capable of comprehending queerness better than Criston Cole really makes me think about how shallow acceptance for queer people actually is. It's disheartening, to say the least.

People seem completely unaware, for example, of the "queer second adolescence" and how young and immature parts of a person can be until they get to come out and actually live as who they truly are vs who they've been forced to pretend to be? Which is why Alicent and Rhaenyra both act so young around each other in the Sept scene and finale scene...

There's also imo "split attraction" model at work here, where there's questions around what exactly their canon genders and sexualities are (beyond the fact that both are clearly queer!). But it's achingly obvious that they wanted each other desperately as girls and that Rhaenyra, in particular, has a special place in her heart for a homoromantic love of femme women like Alicent and Mysaria.

The whole season--from Criston and Aemond's conversation about how Alicent "holds love for the enemy" [where Criston plainly says Rhaenyra "intoxicated" Alicent!!] on to all the symbolism between them and the explicit (gay kiss with Mysaria!) and implicit (complex gender feels) stuff with Rhaenyra--is about how queer they are - canonically - and it all leads up to their final scene. People can disagree on how well that was executed. But it is a clear arc, developed throughout the season, and a valid artistic choice. And part of the problem with how a lot of people are "reading" the season is that they blankly refuse to see it. And once they do see it, they hate it and think it's an invalid artistic choice! But it's really not inherently invalid. It's simply not to some peoples' taste. Those are different things.

[sykeboy]

It's time to talk about the moms

With last week's and today's episode we got a good look at the different ways in which the moms reacted to the news that their daughters are in love w each other so lets take a peek shall we

I will start with this picture of our lovely lady Uang

On patriarcal societies the women are in charge of the reproductive labor which not only means giving birth but also to educate children on how to fall in line with the satus quo, women serve the patriarchy by teaching their children to follow it's rules. We are social engineers, we take care of the social events, the family gatherings, home related issues, etc.

We can see this throughout the series, the women are preparing the food, the ceremonies, they're taking care of their children, their husbands and each other. AND they're making sure the men's wishes are fullfilled: mostly we've seen this in terms of preparing their daughters to be married off to whomever their fathers or another man (Kuea for example) wishes

This is alienating for women because we reproduct a social order that causes us direct harm so in a way we are taught to hate ourselves

Now on to the moms

Patt reacts in an a very violent way, she lashes out at Pin for not abstaining herself from her dessires cause a woman is not suppossed to act on her own wishes according to Patt and to society

Aunt Patt has a lot of internalized shame and she thinks Pin should too. This is related to 3 factors: class, gender and sexuality

The one that seem to be closer to the surface for her is the one related to class. Patt is also adopted, she is the og Loyal Pin, she feels overly indebted to the royal family. She is also literally their servant, she serves them with her reproductive labor (as I explained it before), she is the beacon of womanhood, and she has taught Pin to be the same as her

So when Pin falls out of line this triggers her own unresolved issues. Patt must have been really troubled by her feelings towards Im, they go against all she believes in. She has learned that she is inferior, that she should be grateful for what she has and not to wish for more

Patt believes -as Pin does cause she thaught her- that sacrifice is the way in which a woman can gain some sense of control in a society that takes away our right to choose. This is a self fullfilling prophecy, one gives up on one's destiny and that gives you a false sense of control

Alissa on the other hand is not so present on Anin's life (and her father doesn't seem to be either), I would argue that this is one of the reasons why Anin is not so lady like, cause she's been said to be raised by her brother so she didn't have such a prevalent feminine role model

Anyways, this might have actually given her a little advantage in the sense that she had more freedom to figure her own identity out

Alissa is very surprised and afraid when Anin comes out, she is adamant on sticking to thai customs and rules. And she reminds Anin that her marrying another woman simply has no place in their context AND she reminds her that se must marry someone OF HER OWN RANK, just like Patt reminded Pin

Alissa isn't rude to Anin, she seems to tackle the issue in a very matter of factly manner, she even goes to keep her company every night after Anin moves back to the palace

Alissa also seems to be particularly worried about mantaining the monarchy intact and therefore, the social and cultural structure. She even tells Anin what worries her most is her potentially giving up her title

Once again, the moms roles in all of this are mainly related to those dictated by the reproductive labor that they must perform for the patriarchy, and today's episode is a constant reminder of that, not just for the moms but for all of our girls 😢

[abyss-ice]

Food fantasy diversity issue

Gotta put the word. I'm mad.

Food fantasy isn't the worst game about diversity and skin color... I know but.

It isn't the game with the best rep AT ALL.

You know, I love this game, I love the lore. But this doesn't mean I should be boot licking everything. I have the right to criticize and ask for improvement.

Let's start with the first issue. Skin color. The game of course has more east Asian and European food so it's natural that white skinned characters are the majority. However I noticed that more than half the design of the supposedly more tan or melanined characters are pale or ashey asf. I swear I know they are darker than the white white, but damn I'm as tan as them but I'm actually not tan and I'm white skinned. Artists, please stop being scared to color your character's skin with actual COLOR. Also almost all of them are white haired for some reason. I won't lie about the design some white haired were peak ( Ganache, Reuben, Tomahawk) but a lot of them only have white hair to make their skin appear darker. Also btw the excuse "yeah but you know that not all people of this country are dark skinned" is invalid. Ganache and Reuben are respectively French and United-Statizen. Both these countries are mainly white. So heh.

Ganache and Reuben

Second issue, the orientalism. When I see the dark skinned characters and especially the Middle East food souls, they are often portrayed wearing revealing clothes. If you do some research, it's very weird with their culture. "Yeah but the white characters also wear revealing clothes" Que Neni. If you compare the ratio, obviously dark skinned or just the tan ones are a lot more "fetishized". Always revealing their belly and for what ? Nothing because their outfits are based on fantasm and stereotyped views (belly dancer) about what the middle east looks like not the real traditional clothes which is a shame for a game about food diversity. Food eaten in Muslim countries for Ramadan wearing these ....

Knafeh and Shawarma the worst of them all

And third issue. A lot of them just don't have ethnic physical features. I can understand that this clashes with the artist's art style but I swear it's not that difficult to draw curly and kinky hair. You know it's not that hard to download brush on CSP. Brushes that help you to draw afro hair style.

This food IS FROM ZAMBIA but man looks like a Middle East/American native. Not African from Zambia.

And this is the end of my rant.

"the game company is Asian that's why they don't add a lot of diversity." First research, second, Dislyte, Pokemon both are Asian companies with rad black and poc design. Excuse refused. Don't try to justify culture erasure even if it's not done with a malicious intent. ( And Hoyoverse is NOT a role model. Being better than hoyo at skin diversity isn't a feat. It's the bare minimum)

And yes maybe I'm just a hater "You should just go play another game if you are just gonna hate", man. The bar is so low that I can't even wish for improvement for a game that was my first Gacha Game and a part of my teenage years ?? If you thought like everything I wrote between the quotation marks, I urge you to broaden your horizon and learn about these often misrepresented cultures.

Bye

[quillkiller]

ok so now i can't stop thinking about lesbian effiemonty... buckle up..

they meet at a pride parade in the 80s, mid aids crisis. monty is a butch and/or masc lesbian, a few years older than effie, maybe twenty five years old. effie is a desi femme lesbian, maybe twenty one years old. it's lust at first sight, and eventually it's love

they fall in love when it's still very difficult to be in love as lesbians. arguably still is, but you get it... they're both heavily involved in the british lesbian scene. they organize marches, volonteer at pride, volonteer at lesbian youth hotlines, heavily involved during the aids crisis, etc.

they're young, and being lesbians is their entire identity. fighting against their oppressors, truly the angry lesbian stereotype x100. they're young and have all the time in the world to rebel and fight the system. nothing else matters, them against the world type beat

it's such a passionate relationship, nothing exists outside of the two of them and their chosen family. on good days they even manage to forget the world outside of the lesbian bubble they've created. they even live in a lesbian/queer housing with like seven other roommates

this is the happiest point of their lives, and it all goes down-hill the older they get. the more the world changes. the more they let the outside world in

monty comes from a priveliged household, and even if her parents don't necessarily understand/or believe in 'the homosexual life-style' they never disown monty. they see it as montys rebellious phase, something she'll grow out of eventually. and the sad thing is... monty sort of does. she doesn't stop being a lesbian, but she sort of grows out of the lesbian culture/life-style

montys father offers her a job (at sleekeazy's ??) and monty takes it. she wants to provide for effie, and for her community. (<- sidenote, lesbians with successful jobs/good pay used to give a portion of it to their communities. and that's monty's intention at first, too.)

this eventually allows monty to buy her own house, and so monty and effie move out of the collective. they're very excited about it, to live together just the two of them. they have no intention to separate themselves from their lesbian community because of this.

but sadly, that's what happens. and they move to a bigger house, and they grow older, and then an even bigger house, and monty is busy at work, and effie eventually finds a job she likes, too. and she doesn't have as much time to volonteer. they start discussing marriage and children as they start assimilate themselves more and more with their heterosexual peers that have gradually increased as their lesbian circles have started to decrease. they hadn't even realised this was happening

like. there are no lesbian or homosexual role models at this point. there still, today, isn't really that many homosexual role models. gay rights is still new and most of us are making it up as we go. and monty and effie met in the 80s, during the aids crisis, and without almost any homosexual role models. what else is there to do than follow the only rules you know? you fall in love, get married and have children- especially now that gay people are finally allowed to have those things

so they fall into heterosexual roles. monty becomes the provider with a successful job and effie becomes the housewife type making dinner and cleaning the house. they have james, and they love him more than anything in the world while at the same time they start resenting each other for what they've become. even if they don't have the words to express it. even if they don't know what else they even could've been

they create the very picture of a happy family, assimilating with the nuclear family ideals. in their neighborhood monty becomes one of the guys, effie one of the girls. they're 'good' lesbians, constantly teaming up with their oppressors and getting their approval. they used to love being lesbians, but now the reminder makes them anxious. they stick out like sore thumbs in their neighborhood, will always be the 'lesbian neighbors' but atleast their peers will chuckle with them and say 'if only all homosexuals were normal like you two' as if this is a compliment. as if they're not saying 'you're not freaks like those other ones'. effie and monty feel constantly feel like traitors, like imposters.

so they both end up having affairs. they both find their way back to their roots, their beginnings, but not together. they're too far gone currently and they don't know how to talk to each other anymore if they're not talking about james. they don't trust each other anymore, not with themselves and their unhappiness. they've both grown into their anti-selves, and they both blame each other for this. so they have affairs, finding their way back to lesbianism and finding their way back to themselves. honestly, something they need to to separately in my opinion because they changed into who they became together. so they sort of need to go back on their own before facing each other.

and they DO face each other. they both come clean about their affairs eventually. they both come clean about their resentment. they both sit down together and just talk. when they're ready, they'll talk- and they find their way back to each other. they forgive each other and themselves. it takes a long time to find their way back to each other, but they do. they put in the work, because they love each other, and because they only ever wanted to be together. it's not their fault that they didn't know how to. and they acknowledge that. and to be perfectly honest, i think the people they had affairs with end up becoming lifelong friends of theirs. which is ALSO a sign of them finding their way back to lesbian circles/lesbian culture, which differs so drastically from heterosexual culture/life-style/views on monogamy and possessiveness

and monty quits her job, finds something else. they move to a different house, something that isn't as close to the heterosexual suburbs vibes. effie finds a job she likes. they slowly unlearn the heterosexual roles they fell into. they raise james and they love him. they reconnect with their lesbian friends and james gets a million aunts and uncles. they start volonteering together as often as they can. monty's parents are disappointed in her but she threatens that they wont get to see james if they don't drop it, so they do.

THEY COME BACK TOGETHER......... against all odds, they come back together… lesbians WIN

[lord-squiggletits]

Y'know the thing about writing feral/unhinged versions of Orion/Optimus, is that you can't go too far into the feral/unhinged direction to a point where OP's core character traits are lost or become too diminished. After all, in a multiple-continuity franchise like TF, part of what makes the stories make sense is that even if details change (sometimes major details), the characters are still recognizably themselves to one degree or another. (Although this isn't always the case due to executive meddling or some characters being such blank slates from their initial G1 appearances that there's basically nothing to model them off of, but I digress.)

It's pretty much another reason why I love IDW1 Optimus, bc he literally is a canonical feral/unhinged Optimus who's unhinged as a direct consequence of who he is as a person and what he's been through. Like, he still has those fundamental character traits of trying his best to be moral and make good choices, trying to be a role model, etc, except after 4 million years of war and untreated depression he's basically holding onto his sense of self by his fingertips. So when he "goes feral" e.g. losing his temper and beating up/killing people or saying hurtful things, he's feral in a way that's directly tied to his normal personality and not just as a random quirk he has.

IDW OP's feral moments arise from the gaps between "Optimus' attempts to be who he thinks he needs to be" and "the reality of the world that he can't fix/seems to only make worse" that cause him to lose hope, or become cynical, or lose his temper. But in this case, the unhinged-ness makes perfect sense because it arises out of Optimus trying and failing to be the best person or to make the most morally good choices he's trying to make. Basically, the "feral/unhinged" label is just another way of me trying to say that he's not just unhinged because he's weird or because he's a bad person, but because it's an emotional reaction (more like an emotional explosion due to pent-up emotions) to the context he exists in.

I'd also say that IDW OP's personality being generally reserved/stoic and (trying to be) noble works in tandem with those moments he has of going feral because it makes him more realistic. His psyche is treated in a way where the writers are like, "Hey what if the pressure of having to be everyone's idol and be the best person in the galaxy at all times actually broke Optimus down mentally and emotionally?" It makes IDW OP far more relatable. Instead of naturally being a perfect Christ-like figure who never wavers in his morals or convictions and is just naturally a nice person who always has the wisest and best answer, being a good person is something that IDW OP has to consciously strive to be. Even when he feels like it's useless, or the cycle of violence will never stop, or any attempts he makes to help only ends up with things becoming worse.

And I feel like this does a service not only to IDW Optimus as a character, but also as a sort of moral/philosophical perspective for the reader to ponder upon? I feel like culture at large (or at least my experience of it) tends to believe that "goodness" in a person is simply an innate feature that people are born/not born with, and that being "good" means that you must be good at all times, both in your actions as well as the way you feel emotionally about yourself and the world. Like, there's a tendency for our vision of "a good person" to be good in every aspect at all times without having to try to be a good person. So I think IDW Optimus' character stands as a good example of how someone can be good at heart but still struggle to maintain those feelings of optimism and hope and justice. It's a good idea to have such a paragon of a character (in-universe and out-of-universe) be so conflicted and to even be mistaken, misguided, or make things worse because it shows that goodness is as much about "trying to behave/act in a way that is good" and not just "existing as an innately good person."

It's way more realistic for a person to want to be good, try to be good, and sometimes/often fail than it is for them to just be a good person. I enjoy the fact that IDW Optimus is both a good person at heart, but also has to strive to be a good person and live up to other people's expectations of what they see in him. I like how he wants to be a good person and change society for the better, but he also spends a good amount of time either feeling hopeless and alone or being angry at/detached from other people because of how frustrated they make him. He's realistically portrayed as someone who wants to be good and hopeful and change things for the better, but is also mentally and emotionally broken by that burden because of how impossible it is for him to Fix Everything and be the Perfect Prime/Leader/Autobot that people see him as. It's this fascinating mixture of "yes, this is who he is as a person" but also "there are things he desires to be that he could never possibly become or live up to."

This got really far off based from feral/unhinged Optimus sdklfjaslkdlfkas. The TLDR is that if people want unhinged OP, I feel like they should give IDW OP a chance because he IS unhinged but he's unhinged in a way that's a realistic/thematic representation of how being an Absolute Good is impossible. And how being a good person isn't just about Existing And You Are A Good Person, but rather goodness is a constant state of flux in which you adjust, you make mistakes, you lose your temper and feel hopeless, but then you pick yourself up and try again.

Also IDW OP really likes climbing in dangerous wilderness and jumping out of flying vehicles which I think is very feral and sexy of him to do.

[emeraldspiral]

Those polls about if Zim and Dib would be good parents, made me wonder, would they be able to rise a child together? Let's think the kid is a mix of human and Irken, Dib is at least 30 and Zim too but in Irken years.

I think Dib would feel an obligation to look out for any child in Zim's care whether it was his or not. Like, even if they were just friends or still enemies Dib would want to butt-in and intervene on the child's behalf because he's got that Messiah complex he inherited from his dad and feels like he has to take responsibility for everyone's problems.

Even if Zim has some nurturing instincts he comes from a culture where parenting is a foreign concept. Like, Irkens are born already capable of fending for themselves for the most part so they don't need a caretaker and childhood for them pretty much just consists of job training. There's no concept of like, children needing toys or art supplies or playgrounds to provide stimulating enrichment or needing attention and emotional validation and touch or needing a role model to teach them morals and appropriate behavior. He would be totally clueless about how to take care of a kid beyond just plopping them in front of the TV or indulging their tantrums over toys and tacos to get them to shut up like he does with GIR. But he would have the same unwarranted over-confidence he approaches everything with and would refuse to read any parenting books and just assume he'll know what to do through pure genius instinct.

Dib would drive him crazy with unsolicited advice like:

"Zim! You can't leave the baby unattended! Especially not locked inside the Voot on a hot summer day!"

"Zim, yelling isn't going to make the baby stop crying. You need to figure out why it's crying. Have you tried burping it?"

"Zim, you've been in your lab working on your latest evil death machine for 76 hours and you missed your son's softball game. You really need to cut back on work and spend more quality time with him. If you don't make the effort to show him that he's important to you, he's going to start thinking that you don't care about him at all. That his feelings don't matter and he's unworthy of love. He'll start acting out just to get some attention, even if it's negative, and let other people treat him like trash because he doesn't think he deserves better. And sooner or later, he'll realize that you're the root cause of all his self-esteem issues and he's going to resent you for it and if you're still too self-absorbed to let go of your ego and your pride and apologize and try to do better, he's going to stop speaking to you and leave you to die alone in some shitty nursing home.”

The only difference if they're a couple and co-parenting is that Dib would be a little more gentle and tactful with his advice and Zim would be more open to listening and trying to better himself (and unpacking the effects his own upbringing had on him which he doesn't want to repeat with his offspring).

[blood-orange-juice]

About Childe and his weird gender again, expanding on this post.

I think it has a lot to do with how gender is constructed. Male gender has very clear-cut prescriptions, mostly it's everything that is considered "good" or "human" in current culture. The expectations it places on a person may not be realistic or achievable but they are very clear. Great importance is also placed on separating itself from Everything Female. Things That Are Too Much. Things that break the current culture meaning-making procedures.

Women, while having quite a few prescriptions of their own, also deal with whatever falls through the cracks. Someone needs to ensure the world still functions and reality is never completely covered by whatever official model of the world we currently have.

So women deal with the things men have the luxury not to notice. Mostly bodily and psychological aspects and societal injustice that are not supposed to exist in the ideal picture of society men have imagined. (to be fair, it happens to anyone oppressed and othered. the task of not letting the oppressors meet with reality is delegated to them. I'm just talking about women specifically in this post. but there's a reason oppressed minorities always have ties to supernatural in folklore)

In a way, feminine women are very scary. Walking semiotic horrors.

And I explain all this to say that Childe can be perceived as feminine in two ways.

First, with his disregard for all and any societal norms he just doesn't follow the normal gender prescriptions. He plays a superhero/knight role because it's shiny and it reminds him of the stories he loved as a kid. He doesn't suppress his love for his family because it brings him joy. He looks pretty because looks are a weapon too. He does all these things that would be either stereotypically masculine or painfully unmasculine for anyone else who cares about what society thinks, but he doesn't really see any difference between them. He truly, genuinely doesn't care what others think.

Second, he's also painfully aware of the dark and insane parts of the universe everyone else has the luxury to ignore. He also knows no one cares so he dances around the things a normal guy would never have to deal with (it's such a stereotypical female experience. sometimes I wonder if that's why women rarely like Lovecraft. his brand of scary isn't scary or exciting to them, it's just Tuesday).

But that's just our perception, a trick of light. These are not necessarily gendered.

He also gives an impression of someone extremely vulnerable, yes, but I don't think he handles his vulnerability in a feminine way. He just doesn't hide it and we are used to labeling everything vulnerable as feminine.

He also doesn't really do anything feminine-labeled in a characteristic female way. He isn't really in contact with his emotions (despite having a lot of them), him caring about people takes the form of "protector and provider". his cooking... have you seen his cooking? He doesn't look for support and doesn't try to build things that last. He's self-sacrificing in a very male way too. Because he was there and because he could and because it's a cool thing to do.

So he's just that. Himself. Someone outside of gender.

(or rather his gender is knightcore)

If we perceive him as feminine it says more about how our culture perceives gender than about who Childe is.

Also, quoting my previous post, it's a part of him being full of contradictions. For every thing that he does he also does the exact opposite, and this holds for gender too.

Yes he lives the male power fantasy. He also does it in an incredibly feminine way. I think this was Hoyo's original intention and then it blossomed into this human disaster we see.

And to end up on a joke, surely you all have seen that leaked art that is theorised to be Skirk but could have also been an early design of Childe before Hoyo decided to make him a guy.

[osakanone]

Would you amputate my limbs while I screamed for you to stop and shove me in a mech pilot “training” pod

Technically, no. Obviously, yes...?

I don't operate in an SEZ, so I don't get to waive your rights:

That's your job.

Your limbs in question would be cuffed, removed, carted off to be bio-supported for the duration of any such training in prep for restoration post-removal.

This is of course in conjunction with a formal contract drawn up, which defaults to you getting the limbs back or equivalent compensation if you don't present me with enthusiastic consent within three months or less.

That said...

Given the sheer amount of stuff you've signed to let us pump your nervous-system with...

The pattern/depattern training of your nervous-system retraining all of your associative responses... What makes you turn your head... What gets you excited, what gets your blood pumping...

The cultured augmentation of your default mode network... The kinds of things you dream about... The way you feel about fear on a fundamental level... (death-fetishization isn't uncommon, but this kind of reward-hacking is undesirable for obvious reasons).

This of course usually requires a traumatic event for maximum effect.

Essentially, that you start calling your concept of body into question keeps the mind nimble and flowing, which is why you're not out for the detachment procedure.

The affected areas are:

intraperital region (back of your head),

basal ganglia (right in the middle through the ear),

presupplementary motor area (up top toward the front),

premotor cortex (Same again),

and cerebellum connecting them together.

I've heard the recovery of the procedure described as that pleasant drunken feeling during high altitude, with a deep dread knowing something is wrong as all your bits are doggie-bagged up, sprayed down and then put in the preservation tank for later.

A paralytic agent is obviously helpful here, but in theory, we do kind of need you awake for some elements of the keyhole micro-craniotomy and follow-up cell conditioning so you're wide awake and physical for the whole procedure.

I genuinely don't think you're capable of not giving enthusiastic consent, and the numbers back that up.

What you won't see in the brochure is that the contract is largely a formality, which I'm not really supposed to tell you but you did ask nicely.

Technically you power of attorney returns to you after the first 90 days of intrasystem training, and you get the final say.

So many have insisted they have the willpower to know if they do or not.

That they'd be different, or special or beat the training some how.

Some are excited they can get a few free adaptations, or think they're setup for a future career as a freelancer with a full kitout.

A few even bet their debts on it.

In theory, you absoloutely have the opportunity to say no...

But reality doesn't work out that way.

This is of course assuming you weren't sold to us, or that you aren't being recycled as part of population management of a colony somewhere.

So, I'm guessing you have questions about the procedure or the pod?

The pod and attachment is pretty bog standard stuff.

Zygomatic projector (a fancy laser which draws pictures on your retina, attached to your cheekbones).

DARYL-cuff-stump attachment model

Infared braincell attachment for read

Writeback with bio-radio cellular response for cognitive monitoring

A nice tight shock harness suit with vacuum seal, and G-force compression.

Any further specialization tends based on whatever role you're spec'd for.

For the record, no I don't have any long-term bio-storage for anything we'd remove from you. We did for a long time, but it sat unused, so we just increased our uptake rate to make use of them.

Look forward to hearing from you.

[sanrielle]

I've been thinking a lot about Katara and her feminism vs. her desire to preserve her dying culture. Like I know that the SWT probably isn't as sexist as the NWT, but there are still a lot of enduring practices that have roots in patriarchy, as demonstrated by Sokka's earlier sexism.

So I think Katara would end up with an odd mix. She's obviously a staunch feminist who thinks girls and women should follow their own paths, regardless of what society in general thinks their roles should be. But at the same time, she can't escape from some of the subtler (and possibly more insidious) traditions of 'propriety' and the role of women as the homemakers.

[Obligatory disclaimer that I don't know that much about Inuit culture when it comes to these things. I'm purely basing this off of what is shown in the cartoon itself.]

Something that kinda goes along with this is Katara's necklace. To her, it's a symbol of her grandmother's struggle for independence, as well as a memento of her mother and the sacrificial love she displayed. In the NWT, it represented (at best) a romantic commitment and (at worst) a transfer of property. I don't think she'd associate hers with either, and she'd probably be insulted if Aang tried to give her a new one when proposing.

(I maintain that the necklace she wears as an old lady is the same one she had in childhood. The fact that it looks wonky in that one screenshot is nothing more than lackluster rendering.)

Anyway, I've gone a little off topic. I just think she's a really interesting study in how someone can rail against the negative parts of their culture that don't appeal to them, while also having an internalized fondness for some of those same traditions, simply because they are familiar and nostalgic.

Take Toph for contrast. I don't think she's the butch anti-feminine person a lot of people make her out to be. She just does what she wants. She's perfectly happy to go to the spa or wear dresses and makeup, but only if it's her choice to do so. She's railing against the repressive and oppressive culture of elite EK society simply because she previously had no agency over her life.

Meanwhile, Katara takes an active role in seeing to the physical and emotional needs of her brother/friends. And even though that 'motherly' role is largely a trauma response and something she deeply resents at times, I think it's also a source of comfort to her. Something about her culture that she desperately clings to.

I think a lot about her and Aang's life post-war. They would be very focused on reconstruction for years, most likely. Katara would have her own projects with the Water Tribes, but also spend a lot of time helping Aang. Some part of her craves the validation of appearing to be 'proper' concerning her relationship with him. Maybe she's a bit hypocritical about it: unwilling to wait until they've settled down to be intimate, but also reluctant to publicly break certain social 'rules'.

She keeps telling herself there's so much to do in the world, and maybe she feels this heavy burden to do as much good as she can before allowing herself to rest and slow down and create the family she's always wanted.

But then ten(ish) years have passed and suddenly! Baby on the way! Oops! Katara knows she's a public figure and cares a lot about how she's seen. She wants the respect of the people from her own culture. And so they stop. They get married. They settle down.

Katara becomes the wife and mother, which she definitely wants while also having some lingering regrets and conflicting feelings. She still wants to be a role model for other girls and women, but she likes not being constantly on the move and fighting people and playing politics. She likes getting up in the middle of the night to sing an old Water Tribe lullaby to her baby. She likes it the most when Aang is there because he's always seen her as an equal partner, not a piece of property.

Anyway, I didn't really have a point. Just rambling about my own headcanons. I've always put a lot more thought into Toph and Sokka's characters, but I guess Kataang has been on my mind lately. And tbh I never gave Katara the attention she deserved when writing fics, which is a travesty.

[achillean-archives]

*Note: This post isn't about if this Ken in the Barbie movie is going to be queer but that he is inspired by a Ken doll that "accidently" became a queer icon. Ryan Gosling's Ken in Barbie(2023) is based on the famous best selling Ken doll, Earring Magic Ken, also know as Fey Ken or Gay Ken.

"Mattel had conducted a survey of girls asking if Ken should be retained as Barbie's boyfriend or whether a new doll should be introduced in that role. Survey results indicated that girls wanted Ken kept but wanted him to look "cooler". USA Today noted after the American International Toy Fair that the doll Soul Train Jamal was also wearing an earring that year. According to manager of marketing communications for Mattel, Lisa McKendall, "We tried to keep [Ken] as cool as possible." This generation of the Ken doll had blond highlights in his traditionally brown hair and was dressed in a lavender mesh shirt, purple pleather vest, a necklace with a circular charm and, as the name indicates, an earring in his left ear.

These clothing choices led to gay commentator Dan Savage joking that Mattel toy designers had "spent a weekend in LA or New York dashing from rave to rave, taking notes and Polaroids." He also suggested that little girls' idea of coolness was shaped by homoerotic MTV music videos, Madonna's dancers, and what ACT UP/Queer Nation members were wearing to demonstrations and parties. Donna Gibbs told the San Francisco Examiner in November 1993 that the team of (presumably straight) women who made the doll were surprised that gay men wanted him.

[...]

In July 1993, Dan Savage wrote an article on Earring Magic Ken titled, "Ken Comes Out." He noted in his article that, in addition to his outfit's perceived flamboyance, his necklace resembled chrome sex toys that queer people were wearing as charms at the time. Savage expressed feelings of ambivalence about Ken's new style, writing, "Queer Ken is the high water mark of, depending on your point of view, either queer infiltration of popular culture or the thoughtless appropriation of queer culture by heterosexuals [. . .] Queer imagery has so permeated our culture that from rock stars (Axl Rose and his leather chaps) to toy designers, mainstream America isn’t even aware when it’s adopting queer fashions and mores."

[...]

Kitsch-minded gay men responded to this press by buying the doll in record numbers, making Earring Magic Ken the best-selling Ken model in Mattel's history. The doll debuted in stores for around $11 (equivalent to $20.63 in 2021) and had completely sold out by the Christmas season, largely due to gay men buying the doll in droves. Due to high demand, Chicago's FAO Schwartz created a wait list, and, allegedly, some shops in San Francisco began to sell Earring Magic Ken for prices ranging between $17 (equivalent to $31.89 in 2021) to $24 (equivalent to $45.02 in 2021). (The latter claim was disputed in the Bay Area Reporter in October 1993 by the general manager of San Francisco FAO Schwartz. According to him, only a few gay men were coming into his store, and Earring Magic Ken was selling better in New York and Chicago than San Francisco.) Earring Magic Ken was also popular with gay men in the United Kingdom, and sold well at the toy shop Hamleys in 1993. Toy scalper Mr. Barger told the Wall Street Journal in 1996 that Earring Magic Ken was so popular that he was able to re-sell him to specialty shops at premium prices. Richard Roeper, writing for the Chicago Sun Times, referred to him as "The Cabbage Patch Doll of the summer of '93."

A major appeal of the doll for many gay men was that Mattel did not market it to them on purpose. Rick Garcia, director of Chicago's Catholic Advocates for Lesbian and Gay Rights, told People magazine in 1993 that the stereotypical dress was funny to him because he believed it was an accident, and that it would have offended him if it was purposeful. In 1993, many newspapers interviewed individual gay men in California to understand the phenomenon. San Francisco resident described Earring Magic Ken as, "a pariah setting foot in one of America's sanctuaries." Another California resident, Bill Harley, described Earring Magic Ken as, "A campy, funny thing to have." Laguna Beach resident Keith Clark-Epley had more reservations about the toy, saying that, "It's an uptight heterosexual male doll following gay fashion and who is still behind the times," and believed that calling the doll gay could potentially reinforce negative stereotypes about gay people." Source:

[dragonsandphoenix]

Thoughts while reading books about Ancient Yaoi

Don't mind me, just word vomiting. Now I'm reading more on the history of homoerotic literature in China and I really can't help linking them to my understanding on danmei written in the modern times. I'm becoming more certain that relationships in BL, especially classic BL are more based on the pre-modern model of male love, where homosexuality wasn't an orientation and homoerotic relationships were normatively ideal between an older man and a pubescent youth. The younger man, of which the modern uke/shou is modeled after is feminized but is thought of as distinct from women. Femininity isn't so much about womanhood but about sexual submission. This was the model of homoerotic relationships that would have been seen in many cultures including Ancient Greece, Ottoman Turkey, Feudal Japan and Imperial China before we entered the modern era. For the past 300 years understandings of sexuality shifted in the West, but it appears they didn't really in China up until the 20th century, after which there was a century of suppression, then China opened up to globalization.

How does all this contextualize danmei? Well a lot has been said that danmei isn't necessarily supposed to be LGBT media, at least not in the same way Western queer media is. The reality is danmei does draw from different influences including anime/manga, Western pop culture and Chinese classical literature among other things. My thought is that I would imagine it would be hard to completely discard the pre-modern understandings of male/male relationships in art, similar to gender roles. After all they have only been suppressed for a century. Which is a long time but relative to China's history, isn't that long. People are still bringing up "cut-sleeve" and that was so 2000 years ago man. That being said, nowadays there are distinct differences between modern danmei and homoerotic literature from back then:

Monogamous relationships are king. No more offering your wife to your bro in exchange for his ass sir.

LGBT identities are a thing. Western cultural hegemony for the win.

A more egalitarian model for relationships. At least compared to back then, age gap relationships with underage boys are not nearly as normalized. Really Bingqiu and Ranwan are a step up, they at least get together in their adulthood. Same goes for class status (at least couples with class differences won't automatically end tragically).

Related to number 3, the popularity of 年下 and tropes like shizunfucker. The overturning of power dynamics based on age and social ranking would have been anathema to the rich literati of back then.

No conclusion to draw here, but imagine how future scholars would view danmei now, and what that says about society.

Further Reading:

The Libertine's Friend: Homosexuality and Masculinity in Late Imperial China by Giovanni Vitiello

The Dragon's Whim: Ming and Qing Homoerotic Tales from "The Cut Sleeve" by Giovanni Vitiello

Was China Part of a Global Eighteenth-Century Homosexuality? by Matthew H. Sommer

The Daoist Art of the Bedchamber of Male Homosexuality in Ming and Qing Literature by Wanrong Zhang

All interesting reads. The last one makes mention of the first recorded fujoshi (or I guess 腐女), who wrote the only complete novel on male homosexuality written by a woman in ancient China, "with 52 chapters and 1.8 million words" (MXTX got nothing on her good god).

[conditioned-to-obey]

Hello sir, I want to respectfully add some thought i have on the whole "Virgin kink" subject (For some context not a role play scenario but a real virgin which is how most of the community likes it and treats it).

sorry if it's a bit long, it's a topic that I think isn't talked about enough and I know how delicate and dangerous it can be.

The person who is a virgin (regardless of gender) will always be more susceptible to being manipulated, put into situations where they are unaware of the full implications of their actions or the risk of them, the oversexualization of our culture and the pressure to be sexually active "to prove something" is more present than ever, because of all this the age of virginity loss is low in all countries but mostly in less developed ones, in the united states is on average between 16 and 17 years, in uk between 15 and 16, in Ecuador it is in men between 14 and 16 in such a case at least 68% (approximate) of the virgins are minors.

With this in mind my second point is that unfortunately what it's seen as innocent (in this context) and virgin kink is mostly grooming, navigating the world of BDSM relationships or kink communities is not easy and in many cases not completely safe more when we talk  about people who are just starting their sex life, little they know about their limits and tastes (less n practice). 

That they will probably look for role models or mentors on the whole subject in more experienced older people who have a great  opportunity to take advantage of their vulnerability most do not havea support system other people with similar experiences to tell what is happening and they let it go believing that probably they only feels like this 'Cause they've never done it before.

Add to this that a person can lie about their own age really easily, both in real life and on social media (and if i'm honest, most of people are not interested in making sure they are of legal age, weird no?) and you get the perfect recipe for some nasty and illegal things.

The point of all this is that please take with great caution that someone has a virgin kink no one want other pepleo to be taken advantage of, no one wants some sub just started to be manipulated and put in harmful situations, take care of yourselves and your mutuals.

I love this community, it has helped me to meet wonderful people and get to know myself and be happier then ever with my sex life, but I understand that it leaves many people in a context of vulnerability that we have to express and take care of. 🌿

Great points. This and many more reasons are why I do not participate or enjoy the connotations of sexualizing virginity. It's harmful rhetoric that does in fact create a false sense that freshly 18 virgins should jump into kink and sex.

Explore yourself first. Become familiar with self pleasure and your body. Become familiar with vanilla sex first with someone who cares about you, that you are safe and comfortable with. Then branch out further.

Vanilla first, kink later. Always.

It's not going anywhere, you can always take your time. There is no need to rush. Besides unfair societal pressure to lose, change or sexualize virginity. There is nothing wrong with virginity, it's a social construct. There is no indicator to tell if someone is a virgin or not. It simply does not matter, it cannot be measured. The only people it should matter to is you personally. If you put value in it, first times should be special. Approached without pressure, with care.

There is however something wrong with someone who seeks out virgins, because they are usually seeking out inexpirence, naivety, and unsure individuals who don't have a lot of practice standing their ground.

Be safe out there, dolls.

[statementlou]

I feel like when people ask famous personalities to participate in activism, they may be influenced by the parasocial relationships they have formed with these celebrities and not that they really care about what is going on. They expect famous individuals to act as role models or representatives of their beliefs. That's why I think, it is crucial to maintain a critical perspective and not depend solely on celebrities for activism. This can result in a passive approach to social change and disregard the significance of collaborative action and personal engagement. The majority of celebrities don't care lol even who speak up about it publicly. Their reality is different from ours, like Gigi Hadid also drank Starbucks the other day, Bella Hadid worked with a lot of Zionist brands and did a photo shoot with them recently, etc etc. And let me not start on stans culture... the worst thing ever

Okay this is fascinating because yes! I agree with you so much! But then I was completely floored by the choice of the HADIDS (literal Palestinians who never shut up about the cause) as examples- but actually I love it because I think it opens up two really really important points that maybe get to the heart of the whole issue. Gigi and Bella Hadid are, as I said, literally Palestinian, and have throughout their public lives (not just recently) never been silent or backed down in defense of Palestine even when it has very publicly lost them (Bella primarily) jobs and opportunities, and they both continue to be outspoken even while literally targeted and threatened by zionists. Pretty much everything anyone has wanted or asked for from any celebrity, right?! But here we have, first of all, Gigi having all of that discounted because she bought Starbucks, a brand that is not even an official boycott! I feel like this is a perfect example of prioritizing performative and symbolic activism over actions with material impact, if someone who has been so consistent and stalwart can see all that dismissed because they spent $5 on a coffee (that, again, has no material financial relationship to Israel). I personally think that on a scale of good done vs harm, Gigi can afford a lot of problematic coffees, and this is not even getting into the Hadid families finances which involve huge amounts of money being used and moved around in ways that do more to help the cause than any image choice can unbalance. And then you say that Bella has worked with zionist brands- I don't know anything about this so I can't speak to it. Given that we are also apparently considering starbucks a zionist brand despite the company not operating in or having any ties to Israel, I would question what this means. But it doesn't matter- I think the point is that consumer/ individual purity isn't possible! No one is making pure consumer choices, no matter how many brands they boycott, and certainly no celebrity can continue to be one without having unsavory connections. I think that BY DEFINITION no celebrity is politically pure because if they cut all those ties, THEY WOULD NO LONGER BE A CELEBRITY. Whether the pursuit of purity is realistic or desirable is a much bigger issue, but the point is that as you say, looking to celebrities to be activists will end only in disappointment. Their job is to entertain in specific ways and they do that; if that's not working for you, then consume some other celebrity's product (persona). As I have said from the start, if you want to stan Louis because he is talented and hot and kind and smart and fun then you are in luck! But if you are looking for an activist spokesperson, he is not going to be that, and yelling at him (or people who don't consider that a deal breaker) isn't going to change that.

[cirqosmos]

AS THE RED SUN BLOOMS

[ 赤い太陽が咲くように ]

CHAPTER 1: 炎 (Flame) — short teaser

2023 | 18+ | SERIES | NISHIMURA RIKI (X READER)

SUMMARY scent of sweetened florals bouncing off the tatami mats, ashes of coals puffing up to the air, and pale pink petals falling down to their glory and onto your shoulder as you were greeted by the servants of the famous Nishimura family—for whom you would start working for their confectionery shop from now on despite language barriers, cultural differences, and social status.

GENRE coming-of-age, historical romance, 18th century Japan/Edo period, slow burn romance, drama, angst, graphic violence, family, reader isn't a Japanese in this story.

WORD COUNT : 1.7k

WARNING FOR (CHAPTER 1) : prostitution (red light district), graphic violence, profanity.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is just a warm-up practice for me, since I haven't posted in a long time 😭✋🏻

• bold dialogues means the characters are speaking in Japanese.

2003 [ PRESENT DAY ]

"So, Lia. Who's your role model and why do you want to be like them?" the teacher asked with a hint of enthusiasm in her voice.

The young girl, slightly abashed—spoke in a voice like a whisper. "My role model.. is Grandma."

"What is her profession then? What did she do when she was young?

"S-she's a.." The young girl looked down, fiddling the hem of her sleeves before finally speaking up.

— • —

Yoshiwara District - 1803 [ Edo Period ]

"Bring me the finest lady you ever had here!" the deep voice of a man in a kimono exclaimed amidst the joyous atmosphere in the main quarters.

A high pitched voice of a woman answers back, clearly delighted by the man's call for attention.

"Ah, milord! Which lady would you like for us to bring you for your prosperous day today? I couldn't be any happier to serve you." red lips and flamboyant jewelries adorned the woman's hair, a smile so bright yet so cunning.

With his chin resting on his palms, a lazy look presented on his scarred feature, his right hand raises an index finger gesturing towards the girl from the farthest corner of the room, standing still and obedient; you.

"That young lady, how much is she worth?"

"Ah! Our (Name)-" She looks at you elated as ever, gesturing for you to come forward, "What a perfect timing! She has reached 18 this year, if you want, you could get her for a cheaper price. Yet, I have to inform you that our dear (Name) is unable to speak our language, milord."

"Why so? Hasn't she stayed here for years?"

A smirk blown past the woman's lips after tucking your hair locks behind your ear, revealing your features to the man before you.

"For taming purposes, my lord. A lady of her worth should be able to obey without any difficulties.” the lady suppressed a giggle with an index finger against her red lips, “A yes, a hush with a finger, come here, go there, do this, do that—such simple commands with the help of your finger have no need for her to speak, she must only obey. Likewise, her serving you would be a better way for her to use her mouth in a better use." The woman eventually lets out a dark giggle, brushing her red tinted lips with her dainty finger much to the man's amusement. "Use her as you wish, milord. Should she escape from your hands, no need to break a sweat for no one would help her and she, too, could never utter a word to anyone to understand her."

“She’s perfect to be your one and only doll, sir.” one of your mates came, swaying her hips and hand as she said so.

— • —

"What is this, such a beautiful sweet!"

"Right? It looks like sakura.."

"I heard the Nishimura family is starting to grow in fame because of the delicate sweets they made, plus the competition to make sweets for the royal family are getting closer. I'm definitely sure they could win!"

High pitched voices from afar, laced with definite enthusiasm yet you couldn't understand a thing of the ladies' conversation, making you look like a turtle isolated in your dark shell.

Yet, somehow, the simplicity of this well made sweet in the form of sakura kind of soothes your heart. The pattern has intricate, careful, pushed in curves that resembles a sakura.

You wonder how it tastes, and so you pick the sweet up between the tip of your fingers—placing it onto the tip of your tongue. It's bitterness spike your tongue almost immediately as it touched it, making your eye crinkled and your eyebrows furrowed—yet suddenly the sweetness hits you like waves of the sea washing over your body on the shore.

Like the bitterness of the golden sun setting away from the glory of the sky, only for you to be hit by the epiphany that it will soon rise tomorrow again—akin to the sweetness.

Somehow, somehow, it felt different—you clutched your chest from where your heart let out a tiny rampant of thuds.

Your dark orbs look down to see the folded paper on the wooden platter and your eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the eccentric look of it. So you leaned forward, picking it up and just as you suspected, it wasn’t a paper used for sweets, almost as if it was a paper used for calligraphy.

Words on paper. Your eyes widened instantly at the realisation.

— • —

"Huh, seems like your eyes had grown somewhat feisty in it? A flame, huh?" He playfully slapped your cheek, as usual.

You opened your mouth, for the first time. "Right, I want to live. That's why."

"What?"

A gut wrenching scream echoes around the quarters—alerting everyone from their respective business. Scattered footsteps approaching from afar and up the hallway—what met their eyes when they frantically slid the door open was you holding the tip of the hairpin against the man’s neck, who was now caged inside your frail arms.

“You- You can’t do that! You can’t do that!”

“Fuck! She won’t understand what we’re saying!”

“Say something!”

“D-darling, hush.” The head of the brothel stuttered, spreading and extending her visibly shakened arms—gesturing for you to come forward, shaking her head slowly, sweat trickling down her powdered cheek and forehead, “That’s n-not right.. Darling!”

A foreboding silence ensues, pushing a magnificent pressure down everyone’s head.

— • —

High above, in the clouds, birds fly so high till they burn their feathers and fly across the blazing rays—signifying the return of the scorching orbs accompanied with the touch of white droplets on your freshly burned hands reaching out for help.

Clouds on the grey sky brought white particles down the ghost quiet town, for people are still in their home asleep. A carriage strolled over at a steady pace across the street. Blooming white consumed the entire pathway, making it difficult for it to pass smoothly—making the old man hissed at the obstacles ahead him.

Yet, his snow-stained feet pauses.

“Am I seeing this right?..” rubbing their eyes and slowly narrowing to the spot of where your unconscious body are laid.

— • —

The massive roof-like mountains adorned with intricate patterns and on its tip rising up akin to a blade, lion statues standing before the gates as if to guard them with their ferocious fangs and the lush garden standing tall, trees so high its branches can be seen behind the gates—as if there were tiny fairies sitting on top of the branches, observing you with lit up orbs.

It gave off absolute serenity as the wind flowed past your hair yet the sight of the sliding door from afar gave you somewhat an uneasy feeling of what is going to happen now in the nearer future.

"I am Yuma." he gestured toward himself. "Yu. Ma. Yuma!"

"Jo! Come on, introduce yourself."

"It's not like she could understand us either."

"Still!"

"This is Jo." Yuma gestured his palms in front of the disinterested tall boy.

"Is she mute or what..?" Sana tilted her head in confusion.

"I don't think that's the case, honestly I had no idea." came Momo who took a bite from the peaches in the basket.

Yuma shaking his head in utter devastation, look over his shoulder only to see a certain someone. "Oh, Taki! Why don't you come over here?"

— • —

You stepped closer to the edge where the breathtaking scene of red fall petals consumed the land, scattering all over the roof and everywhere you could see.

“The current generation of the family now consists of the head, his wife, and their three children.”

It caught your attention, “Three? .. That’s alot.”

“Yes, the eldest daughter, Konon. Graceful and kind, she's the apple of the family's eye. She had a childhood friend who she will marry this fall, not only that, her future husband's family is wealthy enough that it could support the Nishimura's business.”

“Their second daughter and the youngest one is Misola, she turned thirteenth a few months ago. Energetic and beaming as the sun, just like how she should act her age, she often fools around so don't mind it if she randomly comes and pulls her silly pranks on you.”

“I won’t mind.” you said without much thought.

“Finally, their middle child and only son; Riki.” Taki snorted which confused you, “That kid is really tall, and somewhat eccentric than most. Quieter than his siblings, yet he had this humorous vibe that he only shows among those he was close with. Since he's the only son of this family, he's set to inherit this family business."

— • —

White strips wrapped around cut hands and fingers, reaching up to touch the dangling purple florals. Silky black hair with blonde highlights reaching down his neck—blending with the sun rays, robe like coal with an inner white shirt, and a muted blue hakama. Hanafuda earrings, adorned with round red sun with rays swaying along the wind.

"Riki."

"Yeah?" yawning with arms stretched upward, the young man turned with features beaming as the sun, lips pulling up in the brightest smile as he walks forward with the glowing purple wisterias brushing against his face.

"You're neglecting your studies, again."

"Um, did I?" The young boy mumbled, avoiding the intimidating gaze of the older man. "O-oh! I heard there are new apprentices and servants set for the shop, our job is gonna get easier from now on!"

"Quit slacking for once, Riki."

"Yeah, yeah." Riki rolled his eyes, “By the way, how long would it take before we get home though?”

“Judging by the weather, it would take us three months at best.” the middle-aged servant answered, “It will be summer by the time we arrive, milord.”

A long deep sigh emits by the younger boy, “That sure takes long, ah. I just want to slip in to my futons, already.”

“Well, that’s what you deserved for annoying the master."

— • —

With the folded paper on your palms, you look up to the red sun blazing against the freezing winter rain.

"You see, learning how to make wagashi is only for the apprentices.."

You nodded, waiting for him to continue.

"You, as a mere servant, and even more so—as a new one, are quite hasty and too fast to request for something so bold. The master said so." Taki shrugged, "But he didn't say no. He said.. that you have to do your work first."

Your dark orbs sparked as the sun rays from the sky blended with it.

“He would ask his son to teach you and the rest of the apprentices instead, for the sole purpose of evaluating his skills and to train him further.” Taki raised his index finger, swaying it.

"How long.. would it take?"

"Summer, the master's son will be back by summer. Till then, be patient."

"Right, I'll be patient." you nodded in an enthusiastic manner.

"By the way.." you look up to Taki with curiosity adorning his features, "May I ask why do you want to learn how to make wagashi?"

— • —

[ CHAPTER 炎

1: (Flame) ]

— • —

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