#isn’t that just so fucking rude.
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last chapter of a body in motion out……. Soon…. (i broke 20k on this chapter last night) (send help)
#i wanted to finish it this week as a bday treat for myself#unfortunately my professor said fuck gay people and suni astrobi in particular#and now i have a biochem exam ON MY BDAY.#MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!#isn’t that just so fucking rude.#anyways#out soon !!#if anyone remembers when i said this chapter would be shorter and out sooner than my second one#sorry i lied.#well it will be out in less time technically#but will also definitely be the same length if not a little longer Oops#miwip wednesday#mike wheeler#will byers#byler
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Can we agree that the "Thats two things" line from Mike was autistic as shit
#i love how William very clearly thinks he’s trying to play smart or something but. no he’s just like that#in general hes sooooo autistic. Same goes to Abby.#when aunt Jane noted how abbys meltdowns reminded her of mike I was cheering in my fucking seat#SO autism#fnaf movie#five nights at freddy's#Fnaf#five nights at Freddy’s movie#Mike Schmidt#can’t wait till this movie comes out anywhere that isn’t peacock. please I wanna watch it again but peacock doesn’t even have a free trial#also Just his general anti socialness??????? hello?#the way he just. walks off during the pharmacy scene#or the way he basically ignores max CANNOT be neurotypical#also with the former that his stand-offish nature is seen as rude#ALSO near the beginning of the movie where he tells his coworker about the dream theory-#-and he completely avoids eye contact and just fiddles with his Walkie-Talkie#like that cant be nt behavior
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You ever think about how Mihawk definitely does not hear his name alot?
Like there are probably only 2 people in the entire world that consistently refer to him by name. To the rest of the world he’s just an epithet. He might as well have no real name for as little as he hears it.
He’ll hear it at introductions always preface by his epithet, he’ll see it in the bounty posters and notice it in the history books. But barely anyone will ever calm him that. Just a pink headed ghost girl and the red headed half of the most complicated situationship panning 20 years.
You ever think about how Shanks probably has a thousand and one nicknames for Mihawk he cycles through at a whim but maybe Mihawk’s favorite will always be the soft way in which Shanks calls out his given name like that’s all there is too it like there’s a Mihawk that exists all on its own. No matter the situation Shanks calls him Mihawk and he has his full attention
#man has no friends other than his boyfriends and kids. claims to be etremely happy. more at six#been listening to First time by Hozier and that is so them honestly#you ever think about how pink is a kinda a lighter shade of red and green is a complimentary color to red#because I just did#this works for zoro and Luffy red and green they are literally complimentary colors they compliment each other#but the fact that mihawk also got pink and green as his familiar counterparts two colors associated with red is kinda crazy not gonna lie#it also probably doesn’t mean anything but it tickles my brain#also the only reason Zoro isn’t counted is because he’s a rude troll who I don’t think has refers to Mihawk by anything other than that guy#so when push comes to shove and he actually has to adress him he probably calls him hawk eyes#Perona I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say it but I can’t imagine her calling him anything else when it’s not an insult#but yeah First Time by hozier fucking with my head might fuck around do a lyric association post 👀#throwing thoughts to the void#mishanks#I’ll never not be obsessed with them#one piece#dracule mihawk#hawkeye mihawk#akagami no shanks#op#shanks#red haired shanks#akataka#goth fam#goth family#one piece goth family#roronoa zoro#perona one piece#Perona#ghost princess perona#mihawk x shanks
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I think there’s a lot of unmined potential in Jamie being conditioned to prick out when he’s flipped off, ‘cause if the team’s doing the rounds some late night after a win and some random dude decides to give Jamie the finger then—
#roy is woken up in the middle of the night#furious bc he was getting some sleep in as jamie had the morning after off#EXCEPT NOW HE’S AWAKE BC OF JAMIE ALL THE SAME#keeley has to run media interference and damage control#it’s a mess but jamie refuses to feel bad#bc he was given the fucking signal wasn’t he and so what if the dude didn’t know what he was doing#isaac somewhat surprisingly supports this stance#and sam murmurs – just a little guiltily – to moe#‘it’s actually quite funny when he’s being rude to other people isn’t it’?#let jamie be a chaotic prick sometimes#jamie tartt#my stuff#tramsbyxa
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I keep seeing fanarts of ppl's OC's being on the ship, so do you think that if there was 6st crewmember (specifically, another woman) Anya would've been more safe? Like, someone to actually call Jimmy's begaviour out, someone Anya might wanna trust? Is there a possibility something might have changed (even if a little) or it would not have mattered at all?
-💀
I feel like the game would make it part of the commentary on where she would believe and help Anya but still be sort of dismissive? Like the whole “don’t waste time crying and being scared keep going and move on, don’t let him win”. It’s supposed to be positive and reinforcing but sometimes it does more damage in those times of mourning and grief, it feels patronizing, like you don’t understand what you’re going through but they do. Even if they did call out his behavior it’s still on Curly to act and while another voice would help, it’s still 4 against 2 on guys that don’t get it until they have to vs women who always have to.
I don’t mind mouthwashing OCs but I do get a bit bored as they tend to be borderline saviors or like Jimmy aligned. They are either more complicit than Curly or just Jimmy haters for no reason, outside of what the creators know about what he did to Anya. I am never irked by OCs but in a story like mouthwashing you really need to think about what your character adds to the commentary, especially if they are there during the crash. It’s nice to have like characters on Anya’s side more whole heartedly and interesting to see characters who placate Jimmy but sometimes it’s one note.
I can’t and don’t want to police peoples OCs it’s never my intention when I comment on trends I notice, but I do feel like the way people make their OCs interact with these two characters and especially Curly, really show a grave misunderstanding of the narrative and these characters as people vs roles in the story. Still, I know people just make up characters for fun and that’s fine. Great even, but I guys I’m focusing more on OCs that are supposed to have those serious dynamics. My favs tend to be pretty-Tulpar or post-Tulpar au OCs.
The inevitably of the crash is on Jimmy. He did that not because he wasn’t stopped but because all his means to kill Anya were taken. The gun, the axe. Even if Curly did strip him of his co-pilot privileges and try to keep him contained there’s only so many people. An extra body helps but they have jobs they have to do, he’s the only one steering the whole ship and Jimmy would likely have an out: food, bathroom, etc. He’s not new and if he couldn’t crash the ship directly, who’s to say he wouldn’t sabotage something else? A clunker like the Tulpar wouldn’t take much. An extra person helps but it’s just another thing that prolongs what a person like Jimmy is willing to do to shirk responsibility.
It’s more than just needing someone to stand up to him and think that’s what is missing when it comes to inserting a character into the mouthwashing setting.
#like again most people treat Jimmy like a misanthrope and he’s not and the way he’s just evil/rude to everyone all the time just isn’t real#like he’s snarky and rude but it can’t be 100% of the time like hes not going out his way to instigate#he’s the type to say shit and hope it stirs the pot like Daisuke likes him at first#thinks he’s a bit of a jerk but he likes him like unless you specifically make a character he’s dislike he’s not just gonna be#readily antagonistic to strangers or at the get go#not to mention it’s not just about Anya needing a friend but someone with the power to do something#a point in why she confides in Curly is he’s the captain she’s not just gonna tell the only other woman just because it’s still personal#not every girl tells their friend or another woman especially if they are new and they don’t know how they react not all girls are#girls girls some can be just as toxic as the men they are being confided in about#the nuance of the situation is not solved by having more people who actively hate jimmmy if anything it would make him escalate further as#clearly has issues with how people perceive him and being liked like another woman who hates him that’s gonna do something crazy in his mind#I think it’s interesting when OCs explore another side of the pre established dynamics as Jimmy uses each remaining crew member to fill a#something Curly provided for him and represent his dynamic with Anya and being an abuser I just feel like a lot is being missed out on#and it’s mainly cause people don’t want to make OCs that aren’t great people like it’s okay to have a grey mediocre OCs in situations like#this its realistic and helps you write more grounded characters like idk i like the ocs but eh im not like a super fan#I really should make an analysis on Jimmy cause people hate discussing him and his character is being really misunderstood#like not saying she’s innocent or an excuse but just not getting how he is supposed to work like he’s no dick fucking dasteredly#he’s a shitty guy who gets shittier like he ain’t start out an avengers level threat#mouthwashing#💀 anon#mouthwashing game#ask#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing oc#now I gotta make an oc just to prove myself but I can’t draw#so maybe not cuz what’s the point if I can’t explain the fly drip
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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unpopular opinion i guess but i don’t understand what the fuck they’re doing to aemond’s character this season
#aemond targaryen#hotd critical#i know the showrunners are mostly ignoring the source material at this point#but the problem is that the narrative choices they’re making make no fucking sense at all#i was expecting SO MUCH more after the reviews came out#and we’ve had like 4 scenes total with little to no dialogue#and as amazing of an actor as ewan is#there isn’t much he can do when they’re giving nothing to him to work with#like sorry not sorry but the second brothel scene made my eyes roll#you’re telling me he’s going to go full cain mode just because aegon laughed at him?#i get he was having a vulnerable moment#but that is not justification enough to try and kill your brother#and don’t get me started on aegon’s character assassination#also if you’re going to interact with this post in a condescending or rude way i invite you to keep scrolling instead#this is my opinion
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Brody showed up to work this week! OMG!!! Does he want a medal?? Josh Boone has a CHILD and he’s in more than Brody.
And I know you’re going to use the shitty excuse “he’s been in a lot!!!” but that’s bullshit. Why are we praising an adult man for showing up to work.
why do you care? why are you bitching about him being absent? and i know you’re gonna use the shitty excuse “Oh BuT hE HaSnT bEeN iN!” but like…he has been? this message is confusing lmfao do you want him to be in or not? you’re insinuating both. make your intentions clear.
im saying its nice that he’s in more is all. if you don’t like what i post or what i say on MY blog mind you then block me.
also i think you should come off anon and talk to me face to face but whatever. be a coward and use the mask of anonymity to hide who you are. i find it funny all these people who are anti outsiders or anti brody choose to stay on anon. like say it to my face. if i can answer you without anonymity have the decency to say this kind of thing to my face.
and btw i’m not praising him for “going to work” im saying it’s nice that he’s in more and seems to be enjoying his job again. and why do his absence matter so much to you? why does it bother you so much that he’s out and that i post about it being a good thing that someone seems to be finally having fun at their job after a rough patch?don’t put words in my mouth.
so cry about it and block me if you’d not like my content. thank you!
(just figured i’d mention by the way that i’m not saying that if you dislike brody you’re automatically on my shit list. everyone is entitled to their own opinions. everyone is allowed to think whatever they want AS LONG AS IT ISNT HURTING ANYONE. but i do think it’s funny how im the one everyone sends anonymous brody hate to like some of the things you anti brody people say about him are WILD. so yes. i will defend him in the reason that nobody should be bitching about his absences or saying rude things, but i absolutely don’t want it to seem like i’m saying that you HAVE to like him. You don’t have to like him but it’s possible to not like him without being a huge jerk to him or anyone who supports him.)
#seriously if you don’t like what i post block me lmfao no need to send these cowardly ass anon messages that you’re too scared to say to my#<<face#don’t put words in my mouth#rude anon#oh btw stop bitching about his absences because it’s not your business and if you have a problem then don’t be in the community?#i dunno bright idea but if you don’t like someone maybe stop supporting the media they’re in?#and if you don’t support the outsiders then my blog certainly isn’t for you since i run a fairly big account FOR the outsiders#so uh yeah there was no enedbfot me to wake up to this in my inbox#if you don’t like then block my blog#brody grant#i also find it funny that any and all brody hate gets sent to me like i won’t absolutely tear you apart lmao#it’s not even about defending him because he doesn’t need the defending it’s just the reasons yall hate him are WILD#like i couldn’t give a shit less about if you like him or if you don’t because everyone is entitled to their own opinions#but some of the anon asks i’ve been sent about him are insane#like grow up lmao i posted smth on my blog saying it’s good he’s in the show more. so have a billion other people. you gonna bitch to them?#goodbye#fuck off
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This isn’t what my blog is about and I usually try to avoid making post about things not related to the tv show fandom I’m in but someone needed to call this people out because going to this tag and seeing war everywhere is so tiring and exhausting so imma make this post and HOPEFULLY PEOPLE WILL READ AND LISTEN!!!!!!!!
Buddie shippers needs to seriously CALM DOWN:) and back off!!!! (This also applies to BUCKTOMMY shippers)
Going to the others tag just to HARASS and bully people over FICTIONAL characters is so ridiculous and stupid and people need to stop. It’s a TV SHOW!!!! YOU aren’t the ones writing this, the writes are and they’ll know how they want to finish THEIR story because that’s THEIR characters!!!! Not yours!!!!! People (both sides) need to stop harassing one another and just stay in your tag and enjoy the ship and the characters. There’s no need for hatred or war, especially since in the tv show all 3 are FRIENDS (so fighting about it is so???!!!) just stop. Y’all acting like babies, get some manners and learn how to respect each other preferences and continue enjoying yall ships in PEACE!
And please leave the actors alone as well, they’re just actors they cannot decide what they’ll do next seasons. There’s literally no reason to harass and bully people over people that doesn’t exist. Just enjoy the SHOW and enjoy the SHIP and LEAVE PEOPLE ALONE!!!!!!! And stop using the incorrect tag please, I know some yall are doing it on purpose but please stop that is so annoying. (And I know yall KNOW how that feels like so stop!)
#buddie#bucktommy#this is coming from a BUDDIE shipper btw#I prefer Eddie and buck together but like#that doesn’t mean imma go harass other people that don’t like them#this little war is stupid and childish :) just enjoy yall ship without attacking other people#what are y’all? 12? I know some of yall are adults do act like one#sorry if I sounded harsh I’m just so tired of seeing this in the ship tag#I just WANT TO ENJOY BUDDIE IN PEACE#STOP FIGHTING!!!!!!#this is so fucking annoying just leave people alone#let people enjoy their ship we all know that buddie is endgame#shhhh stop using THE WRONG TAG#buck and eddie#buck and tommy#tevan#eddie and buck#tommy and buck#also again sorry if I sounded rude not my intention#I come here in peace#this isn’t even what my blog is supposed to be about#so you know this shit got WORSE#if someone from another fandom is intervening
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guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.
#I also had a conversation with my friend about if he had to wear a suit why would he#We discussed for a very long while(6 minutes) and the discussion was very enlightening#Slowly turning painis into a functional human in society…#Except you know he eats people that isn’t really stuff normal people do#this is a joke btw#I think he would pay his taxes but if the tax people are rude to him he wouldn’t#I think it really depends#Does he even have any taxes to pay? Because he doesn’t have a job I assume so he doesn’t have any money#But theoretically if he’s like working for another freak and he’s getting paid or something#Idk guys I might be going a little bit bonkers… he’s helping me get out of art block at least#Oh I hope all these tags don’t accidentally show up in another tag that would be bad I’ve seen that happen#I’ve already typed so much though#It’d be funny if there was painis angst because I wouldn’t be able to take it seriously because his name is penis basically#Why am I only saying painis I’m going to tag him anyway#Painis cupcake#there#alright anyways painis cupcake angst would be fucking hilarious imo#My professional opinion#Mmhmmm I’m a professional in being stupid#My friends will call me spedpool on hallowen#I took 2 yardsticks in stem and I pretended to be said guy in the red suit I don’t want to tag him because I don’t want someone to#Find this unhinged rant about painis cupcake that got way off track woah#Ok continuing on the painis rant#I can’t draw him with pencil for some reason he looks so weird#I can draw soldeir just fine with pencil probably even better than online but whenever I try to draw painis he looks like a pile of dog shi#A moist pile the kind that would make steam if it’s cold outside#I feel like it he tried painis cupcake would really be a great functional citizen#Oh wow I wrote a lot my bad
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it rlly is so strange and confusing to me when ppl say jack is canonically a child/toddler or has the mental age of one. did you guys miss the entire apocalypse world war he personally led with Mary? or the community church girl saying that he’s hot? did you just not watch optimism altogether? It’d literally take too long to list all of the traumatic events he experienced that would never have happened if he was actually a baby but I really thought another character blatantly saying he’s hot would’ve been theeee most obvious sign he’s an adult?????? what is the thought process like genuinely. it’s like this entire stupid argument only exists between babyjack ppl and People Who Actually Watched The Show it’s fucking annoying . Methinks,,, if there is no canon indication (in this case the very fucking opposite) of a character being a child, and all the arguments beyond their age that clearly doesn’t matter in universe consist of an autistic trait they express … methinks there is some ableism here that nobody wants to admit to
#cal.txt#spn#jack kline#baby jack#toddler jack kline#this isn’t even media literacy at this point it’s just Not Fucking Watching The Show#sorry for the rude tone I am having a horrible day and my joints hurt and I have to work a full fuckinf shift like this#spn fandom#fandom critical#siiiggghhhfggggfffg I’m so sick of y’all
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My new strategy instead of ignoring people who I know are being racist/bigoted towards me isn’t to ignore them like I have been but to straight up talk their ear off especially in front of thier friends and annoy them because truly when you’re quiet people assume thier own biases are true and they spread it around. I’m gonna be a proud yapper and see how that turns peoples opinions.
#at least this way ppl who were on this fence will see this and call bullshit#it’s crazy how similar yt ppl are throughout the US#the northern states are so bigoted and they pretend it’s based on prestige but like no#you’re just like your cousins in the south#like and if you’re talking like this in front of people they don’t want to be directly rude#but what’s crazy is I’ve identified the three ppl with an issue with me (a blonde girl who feels threatened) that Albanian girl whose doing#everything to pretend her family isn’t Muslim and is a self hating ‘wanting to be American I hate my accent’ weirdo#and this 20 yo who told me and a fucking Latino guy that we know nothing about America and she knows the true America an it’s full of#propaganda and problems.#like smile and wave. smile and wave.
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Found out today that almost everyone at work is talking shit about me lol
Y’all wanna know why? Cause they don’t fucking like my dad 💀
(Rant in tags)
#my dad has been working here longer than I have- like a year and almost 2 months and when he started working here there was shit tons of#favoritism and only the people they liked could do the ‘extra’ jobs that are way easier and more enjoyable and he wanted to change that caus#that shit isn’t fair y’know anyways shit got changed and they all don’t like him for it even though the regular employees were more happy#cause they now have a fair opportunity to do different jobs#but my favorite part is I don’t do shit wrong they just don’t like me because of my dad 🤡#like make that make sense 🤦🏻♀️ I’m always nice to people even the ones that are rude-I don’t really talk to people and keep to myself#so like how are they talking shit? probably about how I look and probably about how much I keep to myself#I fucking hate people sometimes istg#like fuck all this- I come to work to make money and go home… we’re not in high school where there’s a bunch of little clicks#there shouldn’t be a fucking mean girl group at work 🤦🏻♀️#anyways sorry for the rant#random0lover rambling ♡
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posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh
#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself#but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep#and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either#i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in#fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst#i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago#but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it#this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed#i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me#i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time#this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake#gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t#like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it!#i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life#when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so#i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have#but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip#and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude#though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i#it’s been gnawing at me#ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in#one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes#watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep#so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom#idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting#they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao#so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most#i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry#also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn#it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes
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Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)
#I’m also not usually one to get annoyed whenever ppl shit on the things I like#like I’m an adult sorry idc 😵💫#but it’s always annoying seeing ppl who know nothing about the story complaining about it#even just as recently with the Gojo being racist shit 😭..#like he’s a really great character despite all of that and even though Gege’s#execution of that could’ve been better or didn’t need to happen at all#because idk what gege was doing even though I do strongly believe that he used a moment like this to showcase Gojo’s ignorance and#that how he’s also human and makes mistakes since if you’re familiar with the series Gojo isn’t really treated like person at all#more like a deity and he doesn’t like that#but he’s never been one to voice his personal feelings and talk about his trauma ever#he gets treated like a god and because of this he’s never felt like he could truly connect with other people#so that’s why he puts on that whole act of being overly friendly/ playing with others and even rude to shut others out because of his#aversion to opening his traumatized self To other ppl like he’s so cool#and when he’s friendly he gives the others just enough of his affection so that he wouldn’t be worried about and not have others pry#but he’s incredibly flawed as well#I feel like gege could’ve showed Gojo being ‘humbled’ some other kind of way over the racism tho 😭. But it’s fine lmfao#I’m still so grateful that he had Gojo actually apologize instead of waving Miguel off like he didn’t matter because like I’ve said before#he literally never apologizes (this is probably the first time that I’ve ever seen gojo apologize to anyone in canon I’m so serious 🗿)#that’s literally not part of him#like he feels regret but he never apologies or shows that he actually cares about what others are expressing to him when they’re upset with#him. like this is crazy. but it shows that he did care about the mistake that he made which I appreciate…. like idk how I would’ve felt#about his character if he showed that he could care less when hurting someone like this🗿…..#I adore him so much sorry sorry for taking about anime I’m just 😭…. ❤️❤️❤️#rambling#I’m glad that everyone is fucking with Miguel now because he is a really interesting character even though we haven’t seen much of him#he’s one of the few ppl who Gojo trusted enough to look after someone who he cared about despite the horrors#because he knew that Miguel would protect yuuta and do right by him#it’s very 😭❤️…
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sorry if I don’t remember your name or conversations/experiences or basic things about myself, every few weeks my brain gets factory reset and I have to relearn how to be alive
#lighthearted but also serious bc what is going on here buddy#been feeling weird as hell these past few months#like I can remember some stuff… but it doesn’t feel normal to forget the names of anyone I haven’t seen/heard the name of in a few days#or forget about basic interests and personality traits and experiences and feel like a blank slate every day#idk like ultimately life goes on and I’m happy to live in the moment but it would be nice to understand why my brain is doing this#just thinking#meposting#I think my brain just. does this sometimes when I’m stressed. which is annoying#I recall (lmao) feeling similar during earlier parts of life so this isn’t *new* it’s just unexpected and much more disruptive as an adult#I’m feeling better about it than I was. after like. acknowledging it. bc my mind has not always felt like a sieve it isn’t always this bad.#whatever#I’ll tag as dissociation just in case it’s related/reminiscent and ppl don’t want to see that#dissociation#me and her go way back… haven’t seen each other in years though#she wasnt all bad! coping mechanisms can provide relief and a sense of safety#and as far as coping mechanisms go it’s not the most unhealthy. though it ranks high in ‘socially stunting’#I kind of miss the distance sometimes to be honest everything’s just So Much all the time#I’m so solid now#so stuck in the ruts of capitalism#fuck capitalism#I wish my imagination didn’t feel so dulled#sorry I love talking#and I don’t miss dissociation when I feel mentally present because I feel so Here with the people and things I love but rn?#it’s like a lose-lose bc I am not Here nor am I untethered. I’m heavy yet hold nothing#I enjoy being dramatic/poetic about it — I feel pretty fine. I just hope this isn’t a permanent and/or long-term state of existence.#like it makes me awful at my job I went from remembering a solid amount of the student body’s names (built up over a few years) to. like 5.#overnight it felt like. like Stressful Thing happened and I went to work and I couldn’t remember anyone’s names.#can’t believe I have to start from fucking scratch AGAIN I’d be better off quitting and working at a different school#bc at least then my lack of knowledge/remembering is justified rather than strange and seemingly rude#I’m getting better now but at the beginning of this it was blue screen in my brain all the time
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