#isn’t someone she wants to remember
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Sharing memories, or the lack of them, under the stars
#my art#splatoon#agent 8#agent 3#captain 3#no yeah eight wants to get her memories back#but she’s not exactly chasing them#there’s always a lingering worry th at who she was before#isn’t someone she wants to remember#but that also means#she doesn’t remember who she left behind#another note: 85% of Eights clothes is Off the Hook merch
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i am wide awake thinking about that post canon jb au again when I should be sleeping …!!! such is the nature of the jbrainrot…
#the whole setting is jb hanging out in the rock post war#and tyrion became lord of the westerlands / the rock is his but he’s off doing stuff in kingslanding and jaime is just filling in for him#atm . but after tyrion comes back his original plan WAS he’ll get married to brienne right away and they can move back to tarth or be#travelling hedge knights together or whatever brienne wants to do he’s down for it. but the important thing is that he wants to stay with#her .. so he’s using the time they have together currently to court her bc she deserves that at least !!#so jaime goes off trying to court and woo brienne but she just thinks they’re hanging out bc they got relatively close in the war#so jaime being touchy feely isn’t anything new. jaime making innuendos and being kinda flirty isn’t anything new either#but this time he means it LOL he’s like I want to kiss you SO badly and brienne will be like lol silly jaime (:#I was also thinking they’d help rebuild lannisport just bc it’s a time for healing now and it would be good for the people to get to know#jaime and the lannisters in general bc of how they would just used to sit high above the rock looking down on everyone#but now jaime is like. actively helping and being known and being with the people rather than just being that absent distant lord#also he’s thinking he might as well try and foster some relationship with the commoners to his house bc it’s for tyrion anyway#so he’s off doing that and brienne is tagging along bc she does not want to go home yet#she wants to stay with him and she’s helping out as an excuse to stay a little longer but she doesn’t exactly want to leave him#but how do you tell someone that and ignore the big glaring part that she’s actually in love with him and the fact that they both survived#the war is getting her hopeful???? u want her to admit that?? like a normal person??? no..!!#so she’s just staying and helping out bc a) it’s the sensible thing to do b) so she can bask on the sun that is Jaime Lannister#for like a few more days. weeks. maybe a month bc the weather is soooo bad in the stormlands rn 🙄😳#anyway jb hanging out! and everything is going well and good but jaime is now getting popular w the people and he’s also looking quite#rugged and handsome post war now that he’s thirty flirty and thriving and he also has a new scar across his lip that makes his#smirks even more ! rogueish … ! and he looks quite nice with the greying hair 👀 so now there’s gossips around him#not to mention he’s single too and I think if you were one of the heroes who helped win the war they’ll forget the kingslaying#man with no honor business so lo and behold brienne eavesdrops a group of ladies bc she’s a chismosa at heart and they’re talking about a#potential marriage for a lord lannister (!!!) and there’s going to be a big tourney held in Kingslanding for it (!!!)#and brienne remembers jaime mentioning the ought to go to Kingslanding in the next few weeks (!!!) and now she’s remembering jaime IS a#lord though not theee lord of the westerlands STILL a lord from one of the seven houses and he’s single and very eligible for marriage rn#and now she’s realising everything is returning back the way it was before the war where society rules matters and she has her own role as#now the evenstar bc rip selwyn and jaime has his own role too and the court is a whole different battlefield#one that she isn’t equipped in and even though she had found some new confidence in herself bc killing a bunch of ice invisible zombies#with your own magic sword will do that for you she doesn’t think (and she’s being objective not negative) she stands a chance in THAT
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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what if I said I thought Velvette’s body parts connected like the dunmeshi living armour…….
#all of her organs are. inside her resin#and she has to be strung if she wants to be able to Move but she stays together even without string…#I’m thinking maybe her head plate is. Her. that is the only part of her she Can’t replace…#head plate as in. the round plate that comes off that is hidden under her wig#I can’t remember if that piece has another name right now 🙄 whatevaaaaa#anyway any other part of her she can switch out [and she Does every once in a while to combat greening] it just takes a bit for Her to#develop in the new body part… for like maybe a few days she isn’t fully Connected to the new part and perhaps it is kind of numb#and maybe quite uncoordinated… but then the Her develops in there and she becomes Properly connected#she can only replace one part of her body at a time really unless she wants to really have to depend on someone#her faces are Slightly different… I think she cycles through a few regularly because they have different face ups and the makeup she’s put#on each is different… so she is always quite connected to the faces she regularly uses :3#anyway there. that’s my headcanon that’s how I think she works#velvette#hazbin hotel velvette#hazbin velvette#dollposting
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hey fujii do you wanna hear about a silly little thing i thought of earlier. so you know how in red/blue rescue team, eevee used to be in the "naive" category, whereas in explorers of sky, it's in the "jolly" category? it made me think about ribbons, specifically because of how the rescue team personality test describes the naive trait.
in rescue team, the naive type is described to be someone whos highly curious, and someone who likes rare things. their cheerful and carefree make everything fun for the people around them, but they also have the flaw of being childish, never sitting still, and always being on the move. (it also says that they might be selfish but i dont see that applying to ribbons tbh..)
it seems so oddly fitting for ribbons because her personality does show those traits in particular. she's a silly little thing and her bright cheery personality, and she is childish to some extent. and of course, can't forget her curiosity. especially with how curious she got when it came to dusknoir. and of course, we can't forget about the *actual* definition of naive. naivety in the sense of choosing to believe that dusknoir, despite how his aura flared with malice, bared no ill intent. to think that someone who is so great, so wise, so kind and caring could ever be capable of shattering her world apart.. that was naive. because she believed he was what she thought he was, and because it was her naivety that nearly got her and aimilios killed. you'd think she'd have learned from the drowzee incident where two kids displaying trust in a spur-of-the-moment stranger who coincidentally showed them kindness in their misfortune was a mistake, but i suppose that's what being a naive little child does to you.
(anyways im sorry if this sounds incoherent and out of the blue. have a good day)
DONT YOU DARE APOLOGIZE FOR THIS. THE JOLLY AND NAIVE NATURES FIT MY GIRL SO WELL. (Unhinged rant in tags)
#your description for Naive is like a rocket launcher to the chest#THAT… PLUS JOLLY… (Laughing and crying with ease/over-emotional) IS JUST. IT’S HER!! THAT’S MY GIRL!!!#JUST… EVERYTHING ABT THIS. I CANT EVEN ADD ON.#Her naivety being her downfall/falling out with Dusknoir is so heartbreaking#no doubt the times she was happily laying on his neck ruffs; feeling safe and sound— she’d recieve D.Screams that told her the opposite#Telling her to run; to confront him— anything. but she doesn’t. Hell; the girl doesn’t even question him.#(She looks towards Corphish with an annoyed glance when he questions Dusknoir. He did nothing but good for the town. It’s stupid.)#This. plus her past with him in the paralyzed future (although she can’t remember)— expells all doubts in her mind.#She was so relieved watching his float down to the second floor of Wigglytuff’s guild. She wanted to approach him right then and there#And not only that— when they begin to talk to eachother… he isn’t annoyed? he actually humors her? listens to her stupid jokes?#even snarking back whenever she jabbed at him? (Something that made everyone in treasure town look in HORROR.)#only for Dusknoir to reply with a quip of his own? Even when he does get momentarily miffed by her rudeness? he still decides to stay?#Ribbons loved him; to put it lightly. She loved that she finally had someone other than Aimilios.#She loved that he actually stuck around her on his own merit. and didn’t treat her like some pest.#She loved that he didn’t even mind her lack of intellect. sometimes even offering to to slow down and help the dwarf Eeveewith her studies#so at the End of the Day. When he utters those damned six words? before pulling her and Aimilios in?#Her world is shattered. and she resents him for years.#(Insecurity also kicks in; wondering if he was secretly laughing at her jokes and enjoying her company#…we’re all lies. and that he was merely tolerating her. before killing her.)#She killed any and every feeling that told her to distrust the revenant. putting her full faith in Dusknoir#and what did he repay her unyielding trust and naivety with?#a backstab wound. right through her spine and through her chest.
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Junko: "The most despair I have ever felt in my life was killing my sister."
Mukuro, in the afterlife: "JUNKO LOVES ME MORE! SUCK IT, YASUKE!"
no because i know mukuro’s weird ass was lowkey thrilled when junko murdered yasuke because it was one less person to steal junko’s attention away from her 💀
#😭😭😭#like remember how excited she was to go back to junko’s room after everything was said and done and tried to make her laugh dndnxn#homegirl probably wanted izuru dead so bad lmfao#i have a whole thing about mukuro’s subconscious bitterness towards people who get junko’s attention and affection who aren’t her#because she believes that if anyone in the world deserves attention and affection from junko it’s her. like she’s earned it.#and in her mind she probably rationalizes that nobody else deserves junko’s affection because they don’t truly understand her#not the way mukuro does and she’s worked so hard to be someone junko loves and needs#it kills her to watch junko focus on other ppl when she’s right there practically begging to be acknowledged & shown love and appreciation#and it isn’t possessiveness. it’s bitterness. bitterness and hurt.#ofc most of this is festering beneath the surface in her subconscious more than it’s entering her stream of conscious thought#she wants to be the center of junko’s world like junko is the center of hers so badly it’s genuinely heartbreaking#but yes this a correct take lmao#mukuro ikusaba#junko enoshima#danganronpa#asked and answered
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i think i should let Even get possessed by that dalek in resolution actually
#not instead of ryan’s dad btw that can stay that should just Also change a bit idk. not important right now#instead of the scientist lady.#who is who the doctor is sure it’s attached itself to. meanwhile it is In even it has control of them.#and what it makes them say is. no. you’re right doctor. this isn’t working. i thought it could but i can’t live like this. i can’t live with#you. it’s time for you to let me go.#and the doctor. does. says goodbye. says it like it won’t hurt because she doesn’t want even to hesitate.#meanwhile they are screaming don’t let me leave. she lets them leave. and that dalek scout. well. it wants a better body but with even it#has a weapon.#very different vibe of when the doctor finally realizes she’s been chasing the wrong lead and who the dalek scout is on.#she let them go…….. SHE LET THEM GO…………..#(even voice) doctor have you mourned me already? doctor are you done? imherelookatmestopgrievingdontletmego-#what im saying is that this culminates in an argument on the tardis afterwards. and by argument i mean even is crying and thirteen is sharp#because being any other way will hurt more. so she’s sharp and she’s curt and she says ‘if you didn’t have a weapon-’ when even says ‘if#you didn’t let me leave!!! I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!!!!’ the doctor who told graham she won’t let him stay on the tardis if he chooses to kill#someone and even who Has. even who is too old and too young and who doesn’t remember what they looked like when they first met her.#even who has the wrong eyes for their face and the doctor didn’t notice. for decades didn’t notice while looking right at them. not until#she was new and she could see that even was Wrong.#the doctor says again ‘if you didn’t have a weapon. it couldn’t be used against anyone. it wouldn’t hurt anyone.’#and even says ‘i don’t have anywhere else to go. why would let me leave. i don’t have anywhere else.’#and somewhere very far away. gallifrey is burning. it is new years again.#dw oc
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i’ve seen far too many tiktoks made purely with the intention of making fun of other people at tour (for their outfits, for how excited they got, for what songs they did or didn’t know…i could go on) and i just want to say i wish every single person who feels the need to not only make fun of someone but to do it on the internet a very fuck you. leave your mean girl energy at home idc
#i’ve seen so many and they all make my skin crawl why do people think it’s cute to unabashedly make fun of others for no reason#the most recent one i saw was someone making fun of a person a row or two ahead of them for shazaming illicit affairs#and yknow what??? who fucking cares. i don’t blame them. if folklore/evermore isn’t your vibe you might NOT know it#and yknow what????? i’m SURE there are songs the strictly folkmore girlies don’t know so well#illicit affairs is Not a song so widespread and well known and it’s on the setlist anyway. you enjoy yourself and stop worrying abt others#makes my blood BOIL#i thought we were way past the whole. only xyz people who know xyz songs get to go to tour. stop it#people paid money to go just like you did and good for them if they got tickets and wanted to have a good time#for some people that’s all this is!!! a concert!!!! a fun time!!!!! let them live!!!!!!!!#my sister is trying to learn the songs on the setlist and she’ll absolutely ask me to clarify if she doesn’t remember. that’s okay#doesn’t make her any less excited to be there or entitled to be there or any less of a fan vs anyone else#grow the fuck up#sorry i’m mad now#this has been a rant#taylor swift#eras tour
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I’ve been goin thru a steven universe rewatch since last week and… wow. Wow this show is revolutionary for queer voices. It was eye opening seeing everything unfold again.
It’s been wonderful experiencing the show with fresh eyes. I started the show, saw the premiere of the show, followed it and finished it while I was still closeted and bigoted. I saw the reveal of Garnet being a fusion, being love, and was initially disgusted and disappointed because I was TAUGHT to be disgusted and disappointed.
The residual bigotry flares up at times… but it’s not me anymore. Well it is, but it’s like.. the MEMORY of me seeing that moment through my old eyes. I do my best to not feel shame, but to understand and forgive myself and enjoy creating a new experience watching SU.
now that I’m (somewhat) open, I’ve been able to enjoy the show and appreciate how much it’s done for queer voices since. I… saw Ruby and Sapphire’s wedding for the first time, I saw it— not with my hands barely covering my eyes. What a triumph that this show inspired others to let queer ppl share their stories, experiences, hopes, fears, love, without shame! Steven Universe isn’t perfection— it’s flawed, beautifully flawed, like the people who made it, the people who watch it, and the characters in it. If the road it paved wasn’t perfect, then all the better for newer voices, newer stories to be like, that limestone thingy in roman rock to reinforce it. To make it better. to make like, longer gay roads! pff shit I think I was trying to be poetic and metaphorical or something, but I hope my point came across. I just have big feelings right now. I didn’t realize what SU did for this lil baby queer. It’s so inspiring
#I remeber all my old feelings watching the show#I remember my old rambles in my school journals and secret su art#i remember doing my best to not feel conflicted about Garnet and Pearl because I LOVED garnet and pearl#How I felt I had to combat being ‘deceived’ by the show#But really it’s just… Garnet and Pearl and all other allegories/ rep in the show isn’t trying to Convince me of anything#it just wants to exist. it fought yes but fought to be FREE to exist and share itself#shiiittt it’s so weird experiencing this show as an adult and critically watching it (bc when DONT i analyze shit lol) AND self soothing#tween/YA me#and again… I wish I had someone like me to talk about it :’)#if ur an ex-religious queer person reading this hmu 🤙🏼#cel speaks#i’m goin thru my buried su tag and i think my gen takes are still based lmao as in I still feel the same abt plot points as i did then#lololol#changed my mind abt amethyst BIG time tho younger Cel u were so dumb she be growin so much fr fr
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#when I start trying to prepare to move—it feels like the coldness of the bare floors creeps up into my blood and chest and heart and throat.#I stare at a single object and wonder if I’ll miss it or not.#I make a pile to donate. a pile to keep. a pile I might donate if I decide I won’t miss it too painfully. a pile I’ll miss but I don’t wsnt#to keep- I want to give away to someone who will love it like I did. a pile to ask my mom if she wants it for sentiment. a pile for#things that are trash but have salvageable components I can remove before throwing away. a pile of salvaged components that haven’t found a#use yet. a pile of things that are trash unless I find a way to fix them. a pile for a single item- a feather from my childhood pet bird#a pile of my old cat’s favorite planet and toy. a pile for gifts I was given that I never used but still treasure as they sit on a shelf.#a pile of fun rocks#a pile of paper clips that started as just office supplies but now they’re 15 years old and they remind me of warm summer childhood day#scraps of string and tiny empty boxes and wires to unknown electronics and acrylic paint that is too dry to donate but I could still use it#because I think it’s fun to do the work to re-pulverize it and turn it into pigmented paste again#a comb missing half its teeth but I can’t remember if it was a gift or not so I keep it just in case#a tiny pillow. is it even mine? it isn’t trash but a thrift store would probably just throw it away. but it isn’t trash so I keep it#a box of assorted nuts and screws and a tiny little jar that I know I’ll find the perfect use for one dayS#a little bag like the kind you get when you buy a bag of polished rocks. inside it are delicately folded soda pop bottle labels from#a birthday long long ago.#a small box of sequins I’ve had as long as I can remember. maybe I’ll make something with them so I can justify keeping them.#old clothes I loved that are too tattered to donate but might fit me again one day or make good fabric for something else#a single old sock but it’s elastic is still good and I should use the elastic for something because I’m always wishing I had some to spare#tickets to a state fair. booklet for a play i saw. graduation photo. a polite birthday card from a childhood nemesis.#it’s so hard to get rid of those things. it feels like throwing away my childhood. and I had a rough childhood! I don’t wanna throw away the#GOOD parts of it. I need those parts. I guess they’ll still be there even without the objects. but…#I can’t remember the Memories without the Objects. they are my memories.#maybe I should just start by filling boxes with Memory Objects. and once I’ve got them all together. I can see if I can part ways with any.#and if I can’t—well#at least they’ll be packed up.#I wish my medicine wasn’t a political debate… oh well. it’s always been hard to get meds. though I’ve never considered moving over it#I wonder if my surgeon will have time to for our consult before. my doctor tried to assure me that my PCOS would justify the surgery but I#I read the bill and it says No Removal Of Healthy Organs Associated With Your Sex Unless You Are In Danger Of Imminent Death#And I’m not dying from PCOS… I’m just like… Chronically ill from the chronic blood loss and overworked pain neurons and sometimes miss
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the world is falling apart and people are dying but here i am losing my shit because an old woman plays up her vulnerable old woman who speaks no english schtick to scam people into buying her coffee every other day when i’ve seen her try to pay with $100 bills she pulled out of a wallet full of $100 bills because she is LYING and TAKING ADVANTAGE OF PEOPLE’S KINDNESS
#we’re no cash atm bc we’re under renos and we have nowhere safe to keep the cash#so the first couple times we were like ok you can have a free coffee but next time bring your card ok#and now she tries to make us feel sorry for her saying she only has cash#when we asked a translator to explain to her#instead of getting a card#she asks people to buy her coffee#like we don’t remember she’s fucking loaded#one customer’s all ‘i would want someone to buy my mom coffee’#well i would hope my mom ISN’T A LYING BITCH WHO SCAMS PEOPLE
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The harm the Karen meme has done to women is honestly beyond description
#it’s hyperbole but I am being genuine#cause the way karen has evolved from ‘middle age white women having a tantrum over the smallest mishap’#to ‘women (still primarily white) reacting negatively to literally anything’ has affected the way people respond to women’s emotions#it has provided a new avenue for people to dismiss womens feelings whenever those feelings become inconvenient#like I’ve seen people call a women a Karen because in a candid photo of her taken without her consent she looked annoyed#nevermind the fact that a snapshot of her expression isn’t representative of her emotions in the moment nor what was causing those emotions#annoyance is a valid response to someone taking your photo with permission especially if it’s a stranger#like people have had their lives ruined because of a photo someone took of them (mary ann vecchio I remember you)#but some people really enjoy street photography and don’t want to grapple with ethics of it#so when a women reacts negatively to being the subject it’s easier to label her a Karen then to examine the morality of the thing they enjoy#more tragically though I’ve seen the Karen meme affect the way women responds to negative circumstances#like I’ve seen women afraid to correct mistakes or report abusive behaviour because they don’t want to be a karen’#which breaks my heart as it can already be difficult enough to speak up when something is wrong even with the fear of being viewed as a kare#I’m writing an essay at this point but to summarize karen meme bad
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making mass effect OCs that are such fail loser idiots i love them
#the theme of this little gang i am creating is:#‘failed to live up to everyone’s expectations of them and never made anything of themselves#and they never would have even crossed paths with each other if not for the giant fucking war going on.’#currently we’ve got ‘very very Very old asari who hasn’t spoken to her daughter in years because of a personal disagreement#and came to the citadel to meet her and try to make up for it. only for the Giant Fucking Reaper War to start and her daughter to get calle#into military duty back to Thessia where her mom just left from. barely missing each other. they are never going to see each other again.’#and of course ‘salarian partner of the Very Old Asari’s daughter and source of their dispute because she never approved the marriage.#(doesn’t want to see her daughter go through the same heartbreak she did losing so many short-lived lovers.)#they work at an archive of salarian poetry btw. they aren’t the boss they just work there. as you can imagine poetry isn’t very appreciated#during a Giant Fucking War. or even before the war by most people. they also sold insurance at one point. they’re terrified of dying.#they are scared of being forgotten. none of the poems they write are even that good. they love the artform but they can’t do it well. very#insecure that the reason they chose an asari partner was just so SOMEONE would remember them. as you can imagine. they’re very stressed.’#and also ‘quarian on her pilgrimage who couldn’t get a ship back to the fleet before it went to retake Rannoch. catching bare newsclips of#the fleet always looking for her dads’ liveship so that she knows they’re alive. she’s a botanist. she couldn’t even help if she was there.#but the fact that she’s not. the fact that she kept delaying going home because she had to find The Next Big Discovery on her pilgrimage.#it haunts her. if the fleet goes down taking back Rannoch. what if she’s all that’s left. she wouldn’t be enough. she knows she wouldn’t.’#and two more I’m working on. probably based off that one-off dialogue in the refugee camps between the teenager and the turian. I like them#caterposter
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No offence but I feel like some people got a little too comfortable with telling people to touch grass and swung all the way round to just straight up shaming anyone who might have a less active social life than them to feel better about themselves. “She should be at the club” was a really funny meme until people started acting like fucking middle school bullies towards people who don’t go out with their friends a lot. All those drinking/drugs/sex milestone polls were fun to engage with until it became a wierd circlejerk making fun of people who haven’t done those things before. People on twitter are once again dogpiling someone for wanting queer social spaces that don’t revolve around alcohol or loud music and telling them it’s their own fault for not having friends.
Like I get that nightclubs and sex have strong ties to queer culture and are often the first targets in the hellscape of respectability politics. It’s important we remember our roots and protect these spaces from conservative scrutiny. I mean that. They are important. But just on a surface level it seems like people are starting to see having an inactive social life as some kind of moral failing which…it’s not. I feel like an insane person for feeling like I have to say this on the fucking queer autism website but like. You aren’t inherently a bad person if you don’t have friends. You aren’t “falling behind” if you haven’t had your first kiss in your 20s or never done drugs. The real world isn’t a movie. And if you see someone who doesn’t go out much and instinctually think “wow what a terminally online loser. I bet their social life sucks because they’re a sheltered creep and not because of systemic barriers beyond their control” you need to have a long hard look at why you feel that way.
There are very real barriers that prevent isolated people from finding community and connection. Do you think you’re superior for being able to breach them? Time, money, sobriety, accessibility, none of those factors were a problem for you, so it shouldn’t be for them, right? Right?
#the wider issue is that there are little to no social spaces that don’t charge you to be there anymore#capitalism has all but eradicated the third space
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genuine question does anyone have any tips on how to manage prolonged constant extreme anxiety? like the kind where u have to always stay distracted bc any second alone with ur thoughts will send u into a nauseous pit. the kind that makes it so u never get a restful sleep and u never have an appetite and ur hands are always shaking and ur muscles are painfully tense. anyone know uh…… what i can do about that
(i don’t have insurance atm and my medical anxiety is far too high to get anything prescribed atm so i need things that i can do on my own other than breathing and i’m sick of reading articles)
#it feels like it did when my mom was sick and i couldn’t think about anything else for months#except my mom ISN’T sick anymore. so there’s no one reason i can point to#it’s just always there. my stomach hurts my jaw hurts my body hurts#i can do things to stay distracted but when the night rolls back around i feel like i’m trapped in a haunted house#i’m just so tired i wanna cry about it. i want to relax so bad. i want to feel okay and safe and rested SO FUCKING BAD#i didn’t used to be like this i hatehatehate it i don’t wanna be like this or feel like this anymore#not to mention my sister has such high anxiety rn too that even if i’m distracting my own brain she can pull me back into it with hers#how do i exist without being endlessly terrified of everything that could happen to anyone at any time?#without the constant painful awareness of every tick of every second passing by?#im like this close to a meltdown at all times. i’d rather be apathetic than this it’s breaking my bones#i’m physically safe in that i want to remind anyone reading this that i have never been yk. suicidal or anything it’s not like that at all.#i want to be here i’m just SCARED sgajshsnd i’m just shaky and tired and tense and aaaaaaaaa#i need help. idek what that means i just need someone else to tell me it’s gonna be okay#(@ the friends that DO tell me that every day. i love u so much i appreciate u so much. i wish my body would remember it)#i put my feet in grass today and touched a tree and made tea and cleaned the house and it helped a little. it did.#but i just feel like everything takes this constant conscious effort and it’s soooo tiringgggggg i just want to rest#i want to let someone else control my brain for a while#sigh#okay i’m done i just needed to scream about it for a moment#there are places to go and things to paint and songs to listen to#i will keep going. even scared. i just wish i were less scared.
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hi hii jade! Was wondering if you could do something sweet and fluffy w poly!marauders where reader wakes up in a very cozy and giggly mood 🤭 just some warm domestic love hehe
thank you for requesting! fem, 1k
Someone is kissing his waist. Sirius squirms in his dozing, not expecting it as those kisses travel up his naked chest. Your laugh is breathy and soft as you kiss his shoulder, your weight strewn across his side and arm, your hand finding his cheek.
Your fingers feel inhuman in the best way, like an angel. They spread across his face and neck as you hold him in place and kiss the skin where his neck meets his shoulder. “I love you…” you whisper, the ‘you’ turning long and slow like honey slipping down his front. “I wish you didn’t sleep so much.”
You kiss him again, and with that you’re out of bed. Out of the room before Sirius has time to gather his wits, but he does gather them, because he needs more of whatever that was.
What sort of sweetheart kisses somebody with such gentleness thinking they won’t remember? To press affection into him with want of nothing in return. He doesn’t even bother getting dressed, just scrubs at his sleep-swollen face and fishes the crusties from his eyes as he descends the stairs, numb-legged.
James is grabbing you by the hips, helping you up onto the counter. His curls bounce at the back of his neck. “What’s gotten into you?” he asks.
“Love, for sure.”
“I can see that. Eggs? Omelette?”
“Jamie, you can make anything. Actually, let me make you something–”
James pushes you further onto the top. “That’s okay, I’m cooking. I want to cook.”
Sirius isn’t insecure, exactly. He feels he’s quite handsome when he attempts to be, and he knows you like him whether he’s trying or not, but he doesn’t know if you want to be interrupted, either of you, and it’s his private agony to wonder what to do. Then you spot him over James’ shoulder and your eyes practically sparkle.
“Siri…” you sing-song, melodic as he crosses the kitchen linoleum to be with you and James. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”
Sirius touches James’ elbow with love but swoops in on you. “Did you wake me?” he asks, kissing your cheek, his arms working behind you to hold you as his lips travel downward. He isn’t half as sweet as you were, too busy trying to squeeze your torso against his and mould you into a perfect fit against him and under his arm to really think about what he’s doing.
“She did it to me, too.”
Sirius pulls your face into his neck and turns to James with a grin. “And Remus?”
“He was already awake. But she kissed him and did that thing where her eyes somehow look bigger and shiny and he had to go for a walk.”
“He didn’t have to go for a walk,” you mumble from Sirius’ neck. “He always walks on Saturday mornings. He’s just getting some herbs from the greenhouse.”
The back door opens on cue. Remus reappears with an aura about him much like yours, dropping the cut herbs on the cutting board, and stopping just shy of everyone to smile. “Did she do it to you, as well?” he asks.
James squeezes Remus’ face in his hand, a quick thank you for the herbs that has the latter turning pink.
“She waylaid me with kisses like a common whore.”
“Sirius,” James says scornfully.
“Me being the whore,” Sirius says. You laugh into his neck, seemingly with no inclination to leave the circle of his arms. “Will I ever see your face again?” he asks.
“It’s cozy here. I wish we’d stayed in bed.”
“We can go back.”
“After breakfast,” James says, popping an egg on the edge of the frying pan, breaking the shell one handed as he gives the sizzling oil a shake.
Remus not so subtly crosses the last of the space to slot himself between your right thigh and the counter. Sirius has the urge to cup his cheek as James had done —Remus has an extremely holdable face— but is distracted by your nose nuzzling the line of his throat.
“I love you,” you say.
Doesn’t matter who you’re talking to. All three boys melt.
“I’d like to do some really weird things to you,” Sirius says.
“Me too,” James agrees. “But we do need breakfast first.”
“No one is doing anything weird to me, it’s the weekend.” You beam as Remus laughs, seemingly your intention.
Sirius backs away to a polite but still close proximity. He isn’t selfish; being in a ‘strange’ relationship like this one is a lot of reading cues, and a lot of just plain old climbing into people's laps when you want them, because nobody can truly read minds. Yet Sirius can see that you’re in the sort of mood where everything you touch turns to gold and all the boys want a piece of you, and who is he to get in the way of that?
Well, he’s your boyfriend. He takes a kiss before he delegates himself to being herb-chopper, stealing glances of you from the corner of his eye.
You tease a strand of Remus’ hair behind his ear.
“Weird stuff is for weekdays only,” you’re murmuring. “What I want today is the real romantic stuff.”
“Then you can have it,” Remus murmurs back.
Sirius will happily be doing very romantic things to both of you after his omelette. James, too, if he’s so inclined.
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