#is this weird??

[so-long-soldier-writes]

drabble #15 - attention to detail

kai parker x reader

summary: kai admires the way you watch tv

tags: tv watching, fangirl behavior, neurodivergent behavior (?)

word count: 1k

a/n: neurodivergent and/or fangirl reader; idk, this is something i do, idk if i'm crazy for it, or if people relate to it. lmk if i'm crazy. i just want my weird habits validated by kai, mmkay! 😅

Your finger hovers over the exit button on your screen as someone enters the room. Anxiety grows in your chest, but you try to not let it show. They circle around you, likely to join you on the couch, but hopefully not.

“Hey,” the person greets. You relax at the voice of Kai. Despite his reputation, you quite like the guy. He has his own demons, and is learning his way about the world, and while you have nothing in common otherwise, you kind of relate to him in that way. 

“Hi.”

You don’t see it, but he smiles at your response. Just the acknowledgement of his presence is nice to hear. Especially in the gentle, non-accusatory tone you use with him. “Whatcha watching?” He saw a glimpse when he passed behind the couch, but didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by lingering. 

“Oh, just this show I’ve been into for the last couple weeks,” you say, not wanting to reveal the title and give him an opportunity to poke fun. 

“Ah, the one you were watching yesterday? With the- with that actor you like?”

A small blush rises to your cheeks as you squeak out a “yes”, and Kai finds it absolutely adorable. 

“What season are you on?” He asks, no judgment about the show, nor the actor you like. A wave of confidence splashes over you. 

“Six, technically, but I’m rewatching season four before I watch anymore of six, because I’m not ready to process new information.” You chide yourself immediately. What a strange thing to say. And you were doing so well until then. 

Kai narrows his eyes, but then shrugs. “Okay.”

“Like, something big just happened in season six. They’ve already introduced the Big Bad, but the Big Bad in season five was so detrimental to the team - it killed a bunch of folks, and mentally scarred a whole bunch of others - that I’m not really ready to deal with another, so I’m rewatching a season where I know what happens, so that I already know who gets hurt, so it’s less painful to watch. Plus, rewatching episodes always helps me see things I miss the first time, which gives me a better understanding of the plot and the characters.”

Kai tries to not study you like a bug, but he’s fascinated by your explanation. The empathy you have for fictional characters is something he can’t help but admire, as is your desire to soak up every detail like a sponge. He wonders what it would be like to care so much that watching any further would genuinely hurt him. For the first time, he wishes he could love, so he could love like you do.

“Sorry,” you say after a moment of silence, “I just… infodumped on you. That was probably really confusing and weird.”

“No, not weird. It’s nice.” Kai tries to reassure you, but can’t find the words he needs you to hear. 

“I should probably just watch the season and have one big cry at the end like a normal person.”

“No, I think your way is better.”

“Wait, really? Most people tell me it’s just a tv show and to get over it.”

“Well, yeah, it’s a show, but it’s something you love, so who gives a fuck how you like to watch it? They’re not watching it with you; they’re not even in the room. I like the way you say you take the time to learn the characters and understand the plot. Y’know, someone put a lot of effort into that show you’re watching, and you’re enjoying it the way they’d want it to be enjoyed. Like it’s a piece of art in a museum, and you’re pointing out all the brush strokes and reading the plaque to understand the medium.” When you give him a confused glance, he smiles sheepishly. “I know a little about a lot of things. Went to a couple museums when I was stuck in 1994.” 

“Ah.”

“But my point is, coming from a sociopath, the empathy you have for the characters in your show is really cool. And I can understand the rewatching bit, too. I haven’t rewatched anything with the intensity that you have, but obviously, I could only watch anything made pre-1994, and to hell if I’m watching anything black and white, so I’ve seen some of the same movies once or twice, or more. Sometimes I get tired of rewatching the same stuff, but sometimes, I’ll also pick out a funny line I missed the first time, or a hand gesture that reveals a character knew something all along.”

You smile at him, grateful for his words and engagement in the conversation. You feel a little less childish about your own habits, especially knowing Kai’s not one to lie or hold back his true feelings about anything. For him to go as far to say he recognizes your empathy is a lot, and nothing you’d expect from the newly-reformed serial killer. 

“Thank you,” you blurt out, not wanting to leave him hanging.

“For what?”

“For not making me feel stupid about my interests.”

His eyes narrow. “Who makes you feel stupid?”

“A lot of people. Family… Damon.”

“Well Damon tries to make everyone feel stupid, and family sucks.”

You snort. “True.”

“If he says anything again, he can go through me.” Kai sends you a wink. 

“Okay,” you giggle in response. 

“Good.”

The man watches you for a minute longer. You press your spacebar to make the show play, and he takes note of the smile that spreads across your face as the characters fill the screen once more. He wants to ask to watch it with you, but doesn’t want to push just yet, so he doesn’t. He’s making progress, though, and gaining your trust. Hopefully soon, you’ll be less shy around him. 

And you think the same, feeling his eyes on you. Your trust isn’t something that’s easily given, but this isn’t the first time Kai’s made you feel comfortable, and you have a feeling it won’t be the last. He stays on the other end of the couch, but sticks to himself, and within a couple minutes, laughs quietly at something on his phone. The air between you is pleasant. His words run through your head once more, as the same scene plays for maybe the tenth time, but this time, you aren’t as worried about the people in the room as you watch.

[ilovebeatingmywife]

guys is it weird to spam someones asks as an anon telling them how much you love them (platonically) and how everytime i read their posts i feel like they are my guardian wrapping their hands around me and telling me im loved

[older-brother]

okay bts was cringe but also i was depressed and like 11

[yeepof]

I understand that tall men are our POV characters, but surely being like a foot taller than everyone around them would have some occasional consequences

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

Elon’s being weird again. Threatening everyone on twitter for calling his weird friends weird.

[plaguedocboi]

I hate the “open floor plan” that everyone is obsessed with in houses now. I want nooks and crannies and bizarre floor plans. I don’t need to be able to see what someone is doing on the other side of the house. I want places to hide and lurk and dwell in the shadows. I am the beast who awaits in the labyrinth

[dutchs-blog]

Restoring The Smallest Clockwork

[pnkrathian]

i feel like the knowledge that there are some medical databases with free-to-use 3D scans of various human organs available for 3D printing would have drastically reduced tumblrs amount of bone stealing scandals. plus you can make ones that glow in the dark.

look at my glow in the dark humerus boy

[cubistemoji]

[pirateprincessjess]

When I was a kid my family pretended to get raptured so I would think I was left behind on earth while they all went to heaven.

I was like 8 years old and my sister and mom had gotten really into the Left Behind novels (bible fan fic about the rapture). In the books when the rapture happened the clothes that people were wearing when they got raptured were left behind in neatly folded piles.

One day when I was getting home from school my family decided that they would leave piles of neatly folded clothes around the house, and then hide in the basement.

The intended effect was that I would get home and see the clothes then, think that my family had been raptured and that I wasn’t good enough to get into heaven… or something?

The problem was that I had never read these books, and didn’t really think about the rapture very often. There was no reason that I would see some laundry on the floor and think “The rapture happened and I’ve been abandoned by God! I’ll never see my family again!! Oh nooo!!!!”

I just sat down and watched cartoons and eventually my family got bored and revealed that they were all hiding in the basement.

It’s a good thing I didn’t understand the joke, otherwise that shit would have been traumatic.

[wizardpotions]

Christmas as a cultural icon is starting to get really dystopian in a climate sense, december has historically been a time of year in which there would be snow in a significant portion of europe and north america, and the fact that its not even icy this time of year and all the christmas songs and decorations reference a time of year that will likely never exist in the same way again in my life time is so strange.

[tothechaos]

this is what every tiktok screenshot looks like to me

[wilwheaton]

This is lovely advice.

[opiumvampire]

fuck w me

[atalana]

the curse of adhd:

i will remember with absolute clarity, when the thought strikes me that i have a text to send someone, that this is the fourth time in three days i've attempted to send this specific text

i will forget, in the time it takes me to pick up my phone, that i picked it up intending to send a text

[great-and-small]

Reached out to a biologist to request some info about an extinct species of freshwater shrimp and the email she sent in response was not only lovely and helpful but also kind of poetry to me? People who study invertebrates are actually the most hopeful and compassionate scientists that we have.