#is this an excuse to draw more horses? also yes.

[yourangle-yuordevil]

That time in ancient Greece when Aziraphale needed a speedy horse and accidentally invented the pegasus

VS.

Whatever Crowley had going on in medieval times

[freyito]

ɢɪʀʟᴅᴀᴅ ʙᴏᴏᴛʜɪʟʟ

✩ inspo: RECENT BOOTHILL LEAKS

★ summary: booty as a girldad...

✧ a/n: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS TO BOOTHILL'S STORY!!!!! THESE ARE BASED OFF OF BOOTHILL LEAKS!!!!!!!!!!! HEAVY HEAVY SPOILERS!!!!! HEAVY SPOILERS!!!!

also i dont normally write stuff like this but oh my fucking god HE HAD A DAUGHTER. here's the fluff i promised after blue veins i guess. dont get too comfortable with it ;)

✦ like my work? feel free to send a request !

🗒 cw: gn reader, written before boothill release/2.2, BOOTHILL LEAKS, he's a good father. sorta, not proofread

✎ wc: 932

Boothill’s censorship comes in handy with the new addition to the family. Granted, he’s really good with watching himself around kids, regardless. He’s really good with kids, he becomes a softer person around them, even softer than he is with you. He’ll let them hang off his arms and draw things on his body, pick them up, and do that thing where he’ll throw them up in the air, spin them around, anything he can to play with the kids.

He starts to come back from missions faster, and spends more time with you and your daughter. He goes from ‘Trouble waits for no one!’ to ‘Trouble can wait a couple more days…’. He makes any little excuse to see her, and by Aeons, if you need a break, he’s more than happy to step in.

He is a total fashionista, too. He loooooooves dressing his daughter up in cute little dresses and overalls, braiding her hair and tying it up in bows. He’ll also let her play with his hair, no matter how frazzled he comes out. He’s content being her model, allowing her to put makeup on him as well. Sure, he’ll look silly, the brightest light blue eyeshadow caked on his eyelids, baby pink cheeks and deep red lipstick, but he feels pretty.

Of course, Boothill still can’t stay around as much as he’d like, he doesn’t want to risk the IPC finding him. He doesn’t want to risk the IPC finding her, specifically. He is too afraid of reliving the same scene, he often dreams of it, and there are times where he cannot tell the difference between his little girl and what was.

That means he’s protective. Even a little scrape and he’s worried, but he tries his best not to suffocate her. He’s worried, yes, but he gives himself space, for his sake and hers. He knows nothing good can come from an overbearing parent.

When she first started to walk he damn near cried, it was the first time you’ve seen him so soft and sappy. Yes, it was an ugly cry. He told everyone he knew that she WALKED! She walked to him! And he almost cries every time.

He’s also managed to keep the guitar he had made for his daughter, and he gifts it to your guys’ daughter. Not because he hopes that she will grow up to be what was, but because he believes it’s a nice memento. Somewhere out there, she’s watching you two build a family together, and she’s watching your little girl dance and play and giggle and even strum that guitar. And she’s happy.

Speaking of, he loves teaching his daughter guitar. Having her sit in his lap while he just strums, or showing her where to put her tiny fingers for certain notes. She’s not quite able to get it, but she laughs all the same, and that couldn’t make him happier.

Keeps every little drawing she makes up on the fridge. You’re starting to run out of space for magnets. Even if he’s not there, he wants her to know she’s an ARTIST. In every sense of the word. From preschool finger painting to elementary school drawings and so forth. Also keeps some folded up drawings in his wallet. His favorite is a stereotypical children’s drawing of you, him, and the house. Except he’s riding a pretty damn cool metal horse, (she named it ‘verminantor’, because she said it was cool. not ‘terminator’, no. ‘verminator’. make sure you get it right. Yes, Boothill named one of his bikes that) shooting his guns towards the sky. A pretty accurate depiction, you have to say.

He’s also really competitive for her. If she’s in any sports, he’s the dad screaming at the top of his lungs to ‘GO GET EM!!!!’ or ‘WIIIIIN!!!!!!’. He’ll get into verbal scuffles with other parents when they ask him to be quieter, because his baby deserves the best, and if the best is the loudest, then that’s what he’ll be.

Boothill is also an amazing storyteller, he can prattle on and on about whichever star system he’s been in for hours, it’s really handy when sending your daughter to sleep. Other kids really like his stories as well, he does his best to keep away from the violent parts (about 70% of his stories), and focus on how beautiful the planet was, or something like that. Most of the time he’ll pepper in stuff about a prince or a dragon or knights (which turned out to be true) to keep it entertaining, but pg for the kids.

He also spoils his daughter ROTTEN. He’ll come back from his little ‘sidequest’ with a bunch of gifts for both of you. He’s got all sorts of stuffed animals for his daughter, shirts, rocks, literally anything he could find that reminded him of her. Anything he could find that he knew she’d like.

He raises a rough n rowdy kid, essentially. The kind of father to let her roll around in the mud ‘cause she’s just havin’ fun’, who brings bugs home just for fun and names them all sorts of cowboy-esc names, (her favorite being Buck Bucksley– ‘it sounds like pa’s favorite word!’ she says, and you shoot him an angry glare. He looks away and shrugs it off, with a ‘I didn’t do nothin’.’) who’s favorite activity is looking for worms in the dirt, a kid who gets up quickly and dusts herself off when she scrapes her knees. And Boothill’s damn proud of her, absolutely gleaming with joy at any little accomplishment.

© freyito, 2024 | masterlist | queue | kofi | star header by roseschoices DO NOT REPOST AS YOUR OWN, REPOST ON ANY OTHER PLATFORM, OR USE FOR AI/AI CHATBOTS.

[dragon-ascent]

Hello, how are you ? Since you have open request I’d like to ask something : How do you think our favorite dragon Zhongli will react to his wife being accused of lying because they have corrected an historian on a false fact about Morax ?

Since English isn’t my first language I’m afraid this is not clear, I’m sorry.

Ooh, I like it, here's what I've come up with <3

-----

The tension is palpable and certainly not what you were hoping to land yourself in when you accepted Zhongli's request to be his plus-one aboard the Pearl Galley.

"Forgive me, Mr. Changying, but that's where I'll have to correct you," you tell the stocky man before you. The food and drinks on the table are long-untouched. "Rex Lapis didn't take on such a grand ten-headed and eight-armed form to exterminate those sea creatures. In fact, he personally went door to door to trap them in little Geo contraptions, even having a bit of trouble with the.... particularly wrigglier ones."

Changying's eyes practically roll into the back of his head. "Do you truly believe that rubbish just because that is what's commonly peddled? That the Geo archon, who could raise the mountains and calm the tides without breaking a sweat, found the task of getting rid of tiny sea creatures tedious and challenging?"

Sighing, you say, "Even the gods are subject to being less-than-perfect in their methods. And besides, the damn things were inside people's houses - brute strength would not have been handy at all. Rex Lapis needed to be careful and meticulous so that none of his people were harmed. Hence the Geo cages."

Despite how neatly you'd presented your counterpoint, Changying merely scoffs as he adjusts his glasses. He jabs a finger at you accusingly. "You're lying, just like everyone else," he growls, "and you clearly have no respect for our late archon! Do you even like him?"

Your breath nearly hitches in your throat as you gaze up at him in shock. "Ex...excuse me?"

The man pulls no punches as he continues his rant against you. "How can you so blindly believe what the masses think? Maybe if you were a real Rex Lapis follower like me, you would learn some critical thinking skills and draw more accurate conclusions!"

"I'm afraid I am on the side of my partner here, Mr. Changying," cuts in Zhongli, placing an arm on your shoulder. Relief floods your veins as you let out the breath you'd been holding. "They are correct in explaining that Rex Lapis had to go the simplistic route when dealing with Liyue's sea creature infestation."

Changying's eyes grow wide. "Forgive me, Mr. Zhongli," he murmurs, and you're not ignorant to the way his tone mellows out and becomes more respectful as he continues to speak. "I didn't know you were also in agreement of that story. But let me explain why he likely-"

"It is alright for you to have your own interpretations of events, especially for a being with an expansive history that is always being debated over," says Zhongli calmly, poised as always, "but when these interpretations are unrealistic and you still try to present them as fact...while belittling other people, no less...the line must be drawn somewhere, yes?"

Changying blanches, stammering, "Er, but don't you think Rex Lapis would appreciate deviating thought processes more, especially when..."

Zhongli's eyes narrow ever so slightly, his visage still calm as a pond. "Perhaps so, but what he would not appreciate is his people trying to one-up others in an attempt to prove they are his most loyal followers." Your husband glances at you. "I know my partner well, and they love Rex Lapis dearly. Not only do you accuse them of lying, you also undermine the love they hold for the deity."

His hand brushes against yours and he interlaces his fingers with you, giving a gentle, reassuring squeeze. You smile softly.

Changying scrambles for words, useless excuses and explanations that hardly justify him being on his high horse.

Zhongli, unamused, fires his parting shot. "Far be it for an ordinary man like myself to tell you what to do, but here is some advice: gather reliable citations for your claims, provide succinct evidence, and be respectful of those with opposing views, and perhaps then Rex Lapis would consider you a favorite of his."

With that, Zhongli escorts you away from the scene, knowing full well you will always be his favorite by far - the approving smile he gives you conveys that perfectly.

[doonarose]

GOAD Writer's Guild presents: A Bathhouse Pretense

CW/TW: Explicit, sex in public, orgy scenes and descriptions of other men having sex, the exhibitionism/voyeurism that goes with that , wet and messy comeplay things, edging, cockwarming.

Summary: Written for the @goodomensafterdark Valentine's Gift Exchange (yes, it's May, I'm so sorry!! Chapter 1 was posted back then but it has been a journey to finish this one up!) For Zaay-zaay who requested top Crowley in a bathhouse with kissing and maybe cockwarming. To wit:

Aziraphale seeks Crowley out in 38 BC Rome, and finds him in a bathhouse which just so happens to be hosting an orgy. Aziraphale is there to discuss upcoming celestial business, Crowley is there for a good time, but when Hastur happens to drop by, it gives them an (admittedly flimsy) excuse to get close, and then closer still.

First time sex in the back corner bath, canon compliant, much edging, feelings and filth.

Word count: 18k, complete!

Thanks: Good lord! Everyone!! Thanks to Fuzzygoblinoid for the beautiful header art!

Thanks enormously to my three betas on the second chapter: Likeafuckingninja, Gingercat and Natyu0815. Ninja who held my hand for weeks after falling off the writing horse and trying to clamber back on, Natyu for the cheerleading, and Ginger for the very last minute swoop in with some cracker ideas! Thanks also to Fishey_me and FuzzyGoblin for their insanely quick beta on the first chapter!

Thanks also to all the people in the GOAD Writer's Guild chat who have listened to my whining about trying to write part two for literal months! And thanks again to Zaay-zaay for a fantastic prompt that took me a little outside my comfort zone and then being insanely chill about overly long porn and a very long delay!

Excerpt: In the end, he recognises Crowley by his laugh: low and gravelly, but genuine. His hair’s much darker when it’s wet. He’s close to the back edge of the second bath, the hotter one, Aziraphale guesses, judging by the slick of steam shimmering over the liquid. He’s slid down on a low submerged bench so that the water’s lapping at his shoulders.

It suddenly occurs to Aziraphale that he could have found Crowley here in flagrante delicto – plenty of others are. The thought crosses his mind like it’s been scratching to get out of a sealed box, and he only has a moment to unpack it, turn it over, and then push it back somewhere locked away.

Thankfully, Crowley’s being entertained more simply, by a man lying flat on his belly across the floor behind him, a towel covering his buttocks, as he leans close to Crowley’s ear and speaks in hushed whispers. He’s got his fingertips buried in Crowley’s dark hair, half of it amassed in a bun and the rest hanging loose to his shoulders, as he massages Crowley’s scalp. The interloper has white blonde hair drawn back in long curls tied off at the nape of his neck, he looks middle-aged, stocky, the slopes of his back and arse broad and supple.

The blonde says something else that makes Crowley tip his head back and laugh, and the man tightens his fingers in Crowley’s hair, tipping his face back further so he can lean forward and over him, bite at the angle of his jaw from above and then draw back to dangle a bunch of green grapes over his lips.

Crowley plucks one with his teeth and slides back into the water, so that it laps at his chin as he chews. He sees Aziraphale suddenly, surprise making his bright yellow eyes go wide and then his lips smile around the last of the grape juice and he arches an eyebrow.

“Aziraphale!” he says, voice warm and drawled as though the baths and whatever else he’s been up to here have him relaxed, perhaps even sated.

To continue reading head on over to AO3!

[twisted-wonderland-shenanigans]

Also for the monster au, would the babies in Twisted be more mature than the human babies, cuz they are technically premature cuz of their big head. Which is why we are wired with cuteness protection (or worse cuteness aggression) to protect the youngins.

The moment I see cute baby animals:

When it comes to the monsters, it depends on the species! A good chunk of them would be rather small because their parent species is designed for more than one offspring (or "litters/clutches" depending on the species).

That doesn't mean it's rare for them to have only one or two kids at a time, though! For example, if we were to go with the reptilian species like the basilisk, only a few eggs are viable while the rest are decoys. This is a defensive mechanism caused by instincts that hadn't quite faded over time now that monsters and other predatory creatures around Twisted Wonderland aren't as much of a threat as before.

Anyway, monster babies develop pretty quick compared to humans as in the past, they had to grow strong enough to learn to hunt and fend for themselves when their parents had to go out hunting or foraging. Nowadays, monsters have developed a pack/flock/herd/pod mentality, meaning they can live with their family for as long as necessary until they're ready to set out and find their own path.

Does this mean they can learn to talk faster? In a way, yes. Does this mean they still know what they're saying or doing? Not quite! For them, instincts and learned behaviors can take over before their consciousness fully emerges like it would for humans. For example, I first started becoming aware of the world and the things I was doing when I was maybe 4 or 5 years old (memory is a fickle thing), though I never understood why I knew what to call the things or people the things I was calling them--I just knew it was right.

Same concept for the monsters!

If we were to talk about which species would develop even faster, it would likely be any equine/ungulate based monster! The reason being is that--in the wild--animals such as deer and buffalo or antelope and even horses and goats have babies that learn to stand and run within minutes or even hours of being born. This is to ensure the survival of the baby and that they can keep up, which means that they wouldn't naturally know how to crawl like human babies would.

Here's a silly little comic done by Litterbox Comics over on Twitter! This basically gives a bit of a comparison on how fast the baby ungulates get to their little hooves 😂

Now, despite this, please accept this imagery of a baby goat loafing and picture baby faun Riddle loafing:

Basically, a good chunk of the monsters would have (and still can) loaf and are absolutely adorable to imagine. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna practice anatomy so I can draw baby monster boys loafing because I can!

Now, as for those that have human ancestry in their DNA, I can see some monsters growing a little slower than is normal for their species with no clear explanation why. There's nothing wrong with them physically or mentally. They're just taking a little longer to develop certain motor skills or learning things differently, and new young parents might be concerned and worried.

Doctor: "There's nothing wrong. They're perfectly fine and it happens sometimes. It's perfectly normal."

In the end, they do develop into the fine (chaotic) young men we know and adore~!

[vivianleighwishesshewasme]

Worth my weight in Gold

Aberama and Gypsy talk before they travel home. Secrets are reveled.

Chapter Text

He’d brought her a squirrel to prepare for breakfast as he hunted down any berries to add as a light snack for their journey today. She had boiled pine needles for tea and found a small tin cup for them to share.

They kept sharing little smiles with each other, comfortable with the silence. She handed him the cup and handed him a squirrel on a stick. She’d cooked it to perfection. He had been impressed by her so far, even when she questioned him or foiled his plans, she did so with such grace and honesty it was hard for him to be upset with her.

“So, how long did you say it would take to reach your people?” She had asked him questions last night before they retired for the evening about his people, how often he traveled for work and so on. She was curious about his life….and how she would fit into it.

The one thing he had failed to mention, in fear of her reaction, was that he had three little girls under the ages of five. He wasn’t sure why he withheld it. They’d also been a bit busy yesterday and truthfully, daylight hadn’t been on their side to have long drawn out conversations before nightfall.

She loved her little cousins and hid them from him when he’d entered the camp. He’d never hurt a child, ever but having been the first time she’d ever seen him, let alone met him there was no way to know what his intentions could have been initially.

He was however concerned about what she’d think about his ex wife.

“We’ll be there before nightfall. Probably well before, Gypsy…” He felt a pain in his chest looking at his stunning new bride. She was looking at him lovingly, she trusted him. Here he was about to shatter her trust.

“Yes.” She said playfully, grinning at him and gently nudging his boot with her own.

“I have children.” He said plain as day watching her face. It wasn’t changing, she wasn’t raging, crying or even excited. She just sat there staring at him blankly.

“You're older than me Abe, I expected you too. What I didn't expect was for you to take so long bringing it up with me. So what’s your actual concern?” She was as blunt as a man. That was one of her greatest attributes to him. She didn’t play games or beat around the bush. She could get right to the point.

“How do you do that?” He asked, amazed. “ You see right through people.” He watched her, impressed by the woman she was.

“It must be a Boswell trait on my mothers side. I’ve heard we're all very perceptive, the women more so..” she shrugged it off as if it was common knowledge. He chuckled and hooked his boot to hers drawing them both closer. She leaned into him, their foreheads touching.

“My….their mother is alive.” He could hear the slight tinge of anger cutting through his words. A stubborn lump was forming in his throat. Anger flashed through her hazel eyes bringing out flecks of dark green .She was pissed now. She pulled back and looked down at him. His gaze trained on her.

“Excuse me?!” she said loudly, scattering a few various birds through the woods that had previously been eavesdropping on their conversation. He’d wished he could join them. She was a formidable foe when angry. She’d be able to handle anything at his camp while he was away. Their enemies wouldn’t go unscathed.

“I’m not going to be anyone's second wife Aberama Gold.” She sounded resolute and she tilted her head, nostrils flared a bit. She looked like an angry mother horse if a predator tried to pick at its baby. She knew she’d win.

“No, she…our bond was dissolved when it was discovered by myself and my family that she was …seeing someone else when I traveled for work. She got pregnant with another man's child. I became the laughing stock of my clan until I killed the man who laid with her. I’m…divorced. She left in shame leaving the girls with me.” He was glaring at the dirt by his boots. He hated reliving his secret shame. Hated that his girls got flack for someone else's choices..hated that he hadn’t been enough.

Her soft hands covered his and gently squeezed. He looked at her. His eyes glazed with pain and unspoken dampness. She was bent down looking up at him softly and tenderly.

“I’m sorry she did that to you. I don't think less of you. Or our girls, and if anyone tries to treat our girls differently, they can deal with me. The Boswells aren't just perceptive. We're known to hit back harder when someone insults us.” She kept her gaze trained on him unflinching.

“Our girls?” He sounded amazed and soft even to himself. She had once again taken him by surprise.

“Yes, I married you, they are mine now too. I know what it's like to be treated differently because someone marries one of your parents. I wouldn’t ever make a child feel like that. Ever.” He shook his head and stood. He walked around the fire looking down at her occasionally. She never moved just watched him patiently. She was so different from his previous spouse. Neither woman was bad or good, just different personalities. One had been so desperate for love, couldn’t love herself or wait for him. Didn’t understand his job and couldn’t be alone…yet that is what he had done. Whether right or wrong, they’d both handled some things poorly.

“So, how old and what are their names?” She asked him softly drawing him out of his head and back to her.

“You are not like anyone I have ever met, my little Raven.” She laughed at him.

“So you keep telling me. I have yet to decide if that's a compliment or not?” She grinned at him and reached out for his hand. “ You still haven’t answered me but I guess if we have a long way to walk, you can tell me then.” She kicked some dirt into the fire as I tossed the pale of water over it to smoother our warmth. I knew it was time to go.

______________________________________________

He was kind enough to ask if I wanted to take anything with me. I shook my head. I didn't have anything nice enough to take and if my family was ever foolish enough to come back: it wouldn’t hurt to leave this behind for them.

Aberama dressed very well, his boots were polished in spite of the fact that he traipsed around the woods. His weapons were well oiled and cared for. I knew I would be too. There was nothing of value here in my past.

We got along well as we traveled and talked. He was easy going and seemed interested when I spoke. Didn’t chide me for being truthful or asking questions.

I still wondered as he talked about everything trying not to overwhelm me but prepare me, by overwhelming me: Did he compare us at all? Was she beautiful? Did that matter to me and why? If she and I ever met, would she resent me? Would he? If I disciplined them would he get angry…so much left unsaid because I didn't know how or when to bring it up. He didn't seem to notice I was stuck in my head being drowned by the tide of my own making waves crashing me into the rocks.

This is why marrying a stranger was hard. It wasn't a lack of attraction at least for us, it was what is unknown about their personality and past. A question of if you get hurt and what by? Would you resent each other and fight?

That unknown was more terrifying than starting down death. You knew you'd die eventually of something. That was just life. Unknown issues in a marriage, well that was a slow way to go if it didn't work. _________________________________________________________

We’d finally reached camp. I had her fingers tightly laced into mine. I really didn’t know much about this little woman or how she reacted to every stressful situation. I held on tight hoping she didn’t bolt. I didn't need more humiliation and I wanted her to know I had her in every new situation we’d see each other through.

She’d gone very quiet on me halfway through our journey. I let it go. She had more unknowns than I did. I knew she’d be great with OUR girls. I had no doubt, I didn't know how she’d handle my leaving, raising 3 little ones alone for months at a time and if anyone would think they could do better and try to steal her away from me.

I just prayed she could love me and not bring me more shame and humiliation upon my family name.

The girls ran towards me, I could believe how big they were getting. I scooped all three up in my arms, squirming little messes and introduced them each to my new bride.

She was smiling, kindly addressing each one and even gave my littlest girl, Nan a kiss back and held her when she dropped from my arms into Gypsy[‘s. She never flinched, just smiled and bounced the girl like she’d given birth to her, herself.

We were both very popular. A lovely new stranger was in the camp, clearly we had wed. So many questions. I was grateful for my sister Tillie when she offered to let the girls sleep in her Caravan for the night, her children were grown or married already. Fifteen years between us that I was grateful for now.

I led her to our family vardo. I knew it was sparse but I was hoping she’d bring some of her own personality to it. Create a warm environment for us. She seemed more nervous now then the night before. Hopefully that will change. _________________________________________________________

“I know it’s not much. “ He seemed embarrassed as he rubbed his neck. I looked around. It was lovely and huge compared to anything I’d ever lived in. Nothing was worn out and while it didn’t have matching fabrics or anything, why should it? You could clearly tell everyone was loved and provided for in the little caravan.

It had a curved top and could easily sleep 6 people if not more. It had its own little cabinets and indoor fireplace. Lot’s a seating and a table. Massive living space. “Don’t be silly. I literally have nothing to my name. It’s clean and I can tell it's loved. Every person has a different color but everything blends. It’s lovely.” He relaxed and smiled at me again giving me his little half grin. He shook his finger at me and turned around looking outside. I was still learning him but I was beginning to realize that I really seemed to enchant him by just being myself.

That was unusual. I mean I got along well enough with most people and I was friendly. He just made me realize that he genuinely likes me and all my little idiosyncrasies. It was nice.

“We’ll, I guess you're hungry?” They had been walking most of the day and while pleasant, a handful of berries wasn’t going to do it all night.

“Not for food.” I turned and laughed. One of the things I liked about him was that he was a man…but wow, did he have the appetite of one.

“We’ll at least be able to see you this time.” I added as he strode forward and scoop me up in his arm carrying me to the bed. I loved that he wanted me.

“Likewise my little Raven. I’m looking forward to getting to know you again, this time actually being able to see your pretty face.” I could feel the blush spreading through my cheeks hot and heavy. The familiar pull creeping lower in my belly. He was a handsome man. I was truly happy with how things turned out. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach that something was going to happen soon though. Now I was just focused on us. Three little girls weren't going to leave us much time to get acquainted like this often. _____________________________________________________________

[funsosfunzone]

Clark Kent probably has a Pulitzer Prize

...or he shares one, at least.

Let me get on my high horse for a second.

Obviously, yes, Lois has a Pulitzer Prize. She is referred to as a "Pulitzer Prize-winning reporter". However, many may not realize that there are several kinds of Pulitzers; just as you can win an Oscar for Best Actor or Best Cinematography, you can also win a Pulitzer for International Reporting or Drama. In 2024, 23 were awarded in different categories, with several that have become defunct over time (Telegraphic Reporting, anyone?).

Lois's Pulitzer is likely for Investigative Reporting, although, oddly, ahead of Superman Returns, she was given one for an editorial, and therefore Editorial Writing.

(This is the only thing I can find detailing what in specific Lois won her Pulitzer for. I haven't read all the comics though, so if anyone has more information I'd love to hear it.)

Regardless, these are typically solo prizes, awarded to one person or a small team of people. This is a major honor, especially for somebody as early in her career as Lois is implied to be— I definitely don't mean to diminish this achievement.

However, there are several other prizes often awarded to entire newsrooms. These can give many of the people that worked on it the honor of 'having won' a Pulitzer Prize. I mean, if a soccer team wins an Olympic medal, each individual player also counts as an Olympic medalist!

The one that comes to mind as being particularly likely for the Daily Planet is the award for Breaking News Reporting. The New York Times staff, a major modern inspiration for the Planet, has won three. You can't tell me that Metropolis, one of the biggest cities in the DC universe, a city ravaged by breaking news, hasn't won a single one during Superman's tenure.

(In a world with superheroes, it does come to mind that there'd be a lot more competition for the prize— maybe they would even have a separate one for superhero-related events? Although given how much heroes like Superman do, I'm not sure where they'd draw the line.)

I'm not quite sure what the purpose of me writing this out is. I could claim it's some high-minded effort to inform Superman fans of what the Pulitzer Prize actually entails so they can better understand journalism. But I can't say that I didn't just want an excuse to rant :)

[daineic-art]

-taps mic- Is this thing on?

Okay uh

Hi everyone!

It’s been a… long time since I’ve been actually active, hasn’t it? Well- I have a few explanations if you’d like to sit down and hear them.

To make a really long story short, I fell out of love with SSO. The game was not fun for me anymore and I found no joy in it due to multiple reasons. My own general drama moments, there were multiple things the company did, different things I got into, etc.

The biggest thing (now don't laugh I know how stupid this sounds in relation to Star Stable) was trauma. Yes, trauma. When you've been groomed using a game you've loved since you were 9 years old… you kind of stop playing that game. I resented this game for literal years due to trauma and SSO didn't help themselves by making some dumb decisions. But I was also a kid with trauma I didn't know how to handle. I can't even pinpoint exactly when everything happened, but I know it was around my mid-teens, and has been years since. I have done a lot of soul-searching and development since then because, wow, people can change! Some developments include; I started going to college, didn't like it, and I dropped out. I quit my very awful retail job and got something more akin to my field of study. Then finally, probably the most important one, I got out of an abusive relationship that I got into due to desperation. I'm in a new one with someone I genuinely care about and, frankly, want to spend the rest of my life with. It's insane how one person can open up your eyes so much and help you truly heal and change.

And because of that… I want to say sorry to those I might have hurt when I was still young and hurting. I know trauma isn't always an excuse but when it's all you know and you don't know how to control those feelings you are extremely volatile. I'm sorry to the friends I pushed away, I understand why you left. I'm sorry to the friends who stuck around and had to help me but I am also thankful for you. I'm also thankful to my audience who probably has 0 clue what I'm even talking about! I'm also sorry to those who had to witness my crippling hyper-fixation on You-Know-Who. I promise I'm over that LOL (while I still might draw That Specific Man, I am no longer mentally ill about him)

But why am I talking about this? Why all this deep conversation over a game where you ride around on a horse? Because I want to set my own record straight for myself and I want to start with a clean slate. This might involve a blog name change, maybe even a blog cleanse. But it starts here, with this post. And I'm really hoping this is the start to something better. I won't be posting right away as I want to get my own lore in order but I figured putting something into the world announcing my return (or that at least I've dropped my malice for the game) would be a good start.

I hope yall stick around! Lots of love from Sam 🦌🌿💚

[blackstarchanx3new]

Creations AU FNAF 4, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 3

FNAF 4 pages 60-90

*Warning ahead for heavily abusive language.

Oh boy I sure hope we get an answer.

Lmao mom and dad are fighting.

Yikes Diana that's not very nice.

Hah nope.

Okay but why did people think this genuine moment between William and his son was somehow malicious???

Dude is just talking to his son who is currently breaking down wtf is wrong with some people??? XD

This was after Sister Location on webtoon too so there should be no excuse for this bad faith reading of William's character after some of the scenes in that comic. I won't spoil but like...??????????

Like William is a bad person in cannon and this comic but it's legit-

William: *breathes*

Audiance: YOU BASTARD!!!!!

HE'S A PERSON TOO AND IS WRITTEN AS SUCH?

The reference to being a devil will only make more sense as the FNAF 1 ARC draws to a close.

Oh ho ho hooooooo.

So, that's why Sammy's a fucking weirdo about robots in the FNAF 1 Arc.

Also this gives context to the whole scene where Mike and his sister in law talk about Charlie still being alive while having a grave in the FNAF 1 Arc.

The one walking around is a robot.

So unlike everything implied in cannon: Creations William loves his children.

Is it always in a healthy/good way: NO. AND THAT WILL ONLY BECOME MORE APARENT AS FNAF 1'S ARC COTNENUES.

He even loves the one that indirectly KILLED one of his others lmao.

I just enjoy giving William an actual character. Lmfao. Unlike a lot of people who get on a high horse for making him a plank of wood. X'D

Yes. he's evil man you wrote the most basic boring bland mother fucker on the planet to be said antagonist. You're very cute making that your antagonist while not thinking about how making him that fucking boring and personalities affects the themes or ideas of your work. Here's a fucking cookie???

I hate this way of writing William if you can't tell lmfao.

"He can't have a motive or you're humanizing him" is such a horse shit take and I won't stfu about it considering how prevalent of an idea that shit was on Twitter. X'D

Idk if this is a wake up call that women can be abusers too but like, they can be lmao. Trust me on that.

Oops. The demon thing heard you.

William's default to dealing with Diana is to try and fix things and placate her enough to where she won't go nuclear. Which is sad, but he sucks in different ways.

Really they are a tale of "A match made in hell".

Everyone makes shitty choices here lmao.

Diana antagonizes somebody off their rocker and William's a spinless bastard to both his wife and his creepy demon.

He didn't wanna do it himself and I find that amusing.

The poorest of poor choices were made by everyone involved.

There's little sympathy for any parties here lmao. Except maybe Ballora. X'D

That instant regret lmao. "I MADE A MISTAKE WOOPS"

That's a repeat thing with our good ol Willy boy.

He makes a mistake, and then keeps repeating the same mistake lmao.

William is stuck in a loop of perpetually falling into making the same mistakes over and over and it is a theme of the series WILLIAM is the one who needs to solve HIS OWN problems.

William takes no accountability where it's REALLY NEEDED, blames and pushes it onto others can't find the strength to fight his own inner demons and falls into the same pitfalls over and over.

Hehe your house is a bit odd there William.

William's just fed up with everyone involved in this situation lmao.

I mean yeah, the demon thing IS a bad liar.

He directly cause Diana to die lmao.

And I like William calling him out on that. William in some part is scared of his own inner demons taking form as this thing that mimics him.

"The demon" as I call him is important and also a direct reflection of William's own mistakes. William not confronting or taking care of this "Demon" in any meaningful way part of the damn problem.

Why the fuck you lyyyyyyin.

Why you always lyyyyyyin'-

That bold faced lie will only become more apparent as the story goes on. This bitch has plenty of agency he just likes William to take the fall for everything.

Which in a way is fair. He is a result of William's as well. ;)

Once again have reached the image cap because WHYYYY

[kitpanthera]

chapters 14-15 🎉

1. dipper paralleling ford hiding his hands behind his back -- has stan noticed?

2. mabel talks about doing things with family and then lists stan last -- is that her picking up on the tension between the two or that she values stan the least out of the three listed?

3. has mabel really only been spending so much time with candy and grenda because dipper has been in the woods? or is it like a circle that feeds into each other: dipper spent time in the woods, so she started spending more time with candy and grenda, which led to dipper spending more time in the woods?

4. is mabel trying to put so much emphasis on hanging out with dipper in gravity falls because their parents aren't there to ruin it?

5. is bill being distant because he feels threatened by or jealous of mabel?

6. does bill suggest that they go to the pool because he knows that mermando is there and will probably distract mabel again, thus driving her and dipper further apart?

7. does bill get quiet about spending time with dipper because no one's wanted to hang out with him before?

8. is mabel jealous that dipper has a friend because she's never had to share his attention with someone before?

9. mabel being dismissive of dipper being upset about a sleepover in the room they SHARE! also, her "high horse" about family while (again) being dismissive of dipper -- something she learned from her parents?

10. the idea of dipper that mabel has and him not being able to live up to it,,, dippy fresh foreshadowing?

11. mabel looking at them when they were younger and dipper seeing it as her looking at when dipper sees it as her looking at when he was weaker... in a way, i don't necessarily think he's wrong? she's looking at them when they didn't have as many problems BUT dipper was also trying to accommodate for her feelings while dismissing his own. not necessarily weaker but less willing to stand up for himself!

12. does mabel realize that what she's seeing is actually dipper?

13. you said that the cabin isn't in dipper's mindscape... is it bill's?

14. "you really do have more creativity than people give you credit for" we as a fandom need to recognize that dipper is just as creativity as mabel! his drawings in the journal are amazing and he's canonically a band kid! let him be as artsy as mabel, even if it's in a different way!

15. "grenda likes breaking things" 🤨 excuse me? i'm with dipper on this one, i think anyone would be angry if grenda (and candy and mabel -- they're complicit in this!) were wrecking MY stuff in MY room!

16. do dipper and mabel share a room at home too?

17. dipper feeling the hand on his shoulder - was that real or imaginary? does bill have an invisible form now that he's in dipper's mind or is he still just looking through eyes (whether that's dipper's or others)?

1. He has! And he finds it weird, because Dipper has no reason he's aware of to hide his hands, and Ford hasn't influenced him at all, not being there and all.

2. She knows there's tension between them. She values Stan quite a lot, actually!

3. Oh, it's a circle. She's been having a lot of sleepovers (I've mentioned them in passing a few times), but hanging out with them so much during the day is a result of not having Dipper there, which resulted from her constant sleepovers combined with Bill's training, and it became a cycle.

4. That's definitely part of it! That, and Dipper told her about the big fight he witnessed (as mentioned in the book of Bill), so she's even more desperate for them to enjoy their summer.

5. No, actually, those aren't the words I'd use. He might be a little jealous, but it's only because he's grappling with other unfamiliar feelings at the same time.

6. Yes! On the nose.

7. Mm, pretty much. It makes him feel very uncomfortable things to know someone genuinely wants to spend time with him, especially someone like Dipper, who he's using, and who he definitely isn't beginning to sincerely like, because he's Bill Cipher, and people are a means to an end and nothing more! Guilt is for weaklings!

8. She is, but it's a double standard, because she's never had trouble making friends, so he's always had to share. She isn't fully aware that it's a double standard, though, not nearly as emotionally aware as her brother.

9. Again I'm calling out canon, she's this dismissive and stubborn in canon!! I love my girly but she does drive him away instead of just apologizing sincerely here. But yes, she's learned this from their parents! No matter what he says or does, she's conditioned here, sort of, to always put her own feelings first, and assumes he'll take whatever she dishes out, because he always has. Half-assed apology? Excuse after excuse? He's always taken those, so why doesn't he now? She's not aware, so she can't change it, even when Dipper calls her on it; she doesn't see it.

10. Ohoohooohoohoo just you wait, my friend :)

11. Yeah, this is again her sincerely just not being aware of how deep this all runs with Dipper, between the two of them. His feelings date back to before Bill was around, he just never expressed them, because he was always wrong for doing that.

12. No, because it's just a projection, she's not alerted to the fact that Dipper is really in her head.

13. It could be! Or it could not be! Or a secret third option!

14. Yes! Dipper is absolutely a creative, and I stand by this!!

15. Canon alert! Actual line from Mabel about Grenda in canon during this confrontation!! Dipper deserves his own space, especially with Mabel being so permissive of her friends breaking their stuff, so I gave him one.

16. They do! Hitting puberty, Dipper is especially feeling the urge to get his own space, though.

17. It was real, this is the only explanation I'll give at this time. :)

[3dollarbillyalls]

Part two of my experience, for @myfirstlobotomy

In 2015 Limp Bizkit had a huge tour in Russia and I knew I had to be there no matter what. I bought tix to Moscow and Saint-Petersburg shows and soon after they announced the second show in Moscow 🙄 I KNEW I HAD TO BE THERE TOO. So my plan was kinda simple: go to the venue as early as possible and try to ask someone from the crew for a guest-pass. Yes, that’s possible and yes I got it 😏

Anyway, we go back to the meeting… The first one I met was John after he went out of the club to smoke. I asked him to draw something in my memory notebook as I did with Lethal but John first refused and then made a doodle 😂

Also I have a drawing from Fred’s manager Gabe who was kind enough to give me the guest-pass.

Then Fred arrived but I literally forgot how to speak and he left. Then there was Wes, who chuckled when I shouted to him that I had a present (😭). Dw, me and my friend asked Fred’s wife to pass presents to the band. Wes left too. Here I am with John 🥺❤️

After the show Gabe also was giving out picks and drumsticks. He gave me a pick and I asked for a drumstick too (yeah I know, I know…) He responded “I already gave you a pick!”. I said it was for a friend which was then true. He said he’ll give it to me the next time lmao

Also Fred went out after the show and I managed to get a sign, but no photo cuz my phone was dead.

The second show was the next day, I had to wander around the streets for a night because I had nowhere to go (the last bus to the place I stayed was long time gone 🥲). Gabe gave me and a couple of my friends guest-passed, I gave him a bottle of Karelian Balm (alcohol drink made with berries). I remember he opened his backpack looking like I was handing him a pack of drugs 😂😭

Long story short, the second show in Moscow was over too. I managed to catch Kadaver’s (Wes’ guitar tech) kimono they used on the Halloween show. I still have it lol

The Saint-Petersburg show was a month later… *time passes*

Here we go. I had a friend there who already met the band a couple of times and knew people who could help me to do it.

We went to the Hotel, waited there… First time the guys left and I had no chance to meet them and I was already sad.

I wanna make a disclaimer: stalking is bad and I really hate bothering people but I couldn’t help it…

When Wes went out for a walk me and a couple of girls (maybe there were guys too, I don’t remember) followed him. 😭😭😭

He stopped by a lady riding a horse which was a popular tourist attraction in Saint-P. While he petted the horse, we caught him up. I was in the first row right behind him and went completely numb… The man of my dreams was real and standing right here… Dude… My friend was more adjusted to talking to famous people and simply said “excuse me”. Wes turned back. I still remember his eyes when he saw a bunch of fans.

Man was flabbergasted…

Anyway he was kind enough to give signs and take some pics with us. I also asked him to draw something which he did (sorry for the background lmao)

Also I gave him one of his paintings to sign and he seemed happy with it and told something about the style or something… I was too stunned to comprehend English (or anything I guess), so i didn’t understand him neither the first time nor the second one (I asked him to repeat, lmao).

My friend took a pic. Which, thanks to my stupid phone, looked like this:

(This one is edited by my other friend who was like “Wth did you do with your camera dude”)

I tried to get a sign for my friend who got no money to go… “Her bad” Was replied 😭

Then he said bye-bye, gotta go!

We also met his tech and some guys from the crew he was walking with and went back to the hotel to try and get to Fred (didn’t succeed tho).

One “highlight” of that night was the horse lady. I don’t remember why we stopped near her… Maybe it was a coincidence or something but at one moment I felt something heavy on my foot. I looked down and saw a long leg… That fucking horse stepped on my foot 😭😭😭

I yelled “HORSE IS ON MY FOOT�� and the lady said angrily “you shouldn’t have touched it then”. I fucking didn’t… The other girl tried to pet the horse and I suffered. What a life, right?

The next day was a show. As always I came to the venue very early. When I saw a bus going to the back door, I ran there. Catch! Fred, Wes and John! I briefly asked Wes for a new photo since the first one was you saw what. He murmured “sure”.

I don’t know what’s with my face, I’m sorry 😂 still better pic than the first.

Fred was taking pics too, I remember that security guy was telling me to get off and I replied to him in English asking for one photo.

Fred heard me.

The same problem with my face but whatever you know 😂

Aso I accidentally photobombed someone’s picture with the band

I look very fashion model, don’t I?

The show was hella great, I remember when I was taking a pic Fred pointed to me… I’ll post this pic separately since I can’t add more here.

Also Gabe finally gave me a drumstick which is still with me since me and the dude I was going to give it to are not friends anymore:)

I also briefly met Sam in 2020, I posted a pic here.

I LOVE THESE MEN TO DEATH ❤️

[whatchild]

Ok so this old Pikmin OC right? Old art, hadn't really gotten a grasp on my tools yet, blah blah blah, excuses excuses. I figured what about her design left me unsatisfied and what about it was cute as beans, and gave her a rehaul. And some friends.

Introducing the crew of the RMS GUILDMASTER, a team of three space pirates and a horse that travel the galaxy in search of power. Power through force, power through technology, power through artifacts and creatures beyond the scope of their understanding...

Mina Rybakai (Center, She/Her in reference to, uses We/Our when speaking), of planet Rybakai. Her surname is the same as her planet, yes. Only because she's next in line to own the whole thing. Rybakaian royalty is required to perform military service in the name of the planet before ascending, so on a technicality the "Pirates" are legally "Privateers". They hate that, don't call them privateers. The GUILDMASTER belongs to her, or rather her royal family, making her the captain. In practice however, she treats all of the crew as equals as well as generally doesn't quite understand how to lead. She's cheerful and rebellious by nature but has a calculative streak in her a mile wide. Often deliberately, she tricks anyone who dares cross her or the crew into believing she's not a threat with a sweet act, pretending she's just some ditz with a big fork before going in for the kill. Her weapon of choice is tridents, and as a fish-girl she's far more gifted at swimming, floating, underwater combat, and anything to do with bodies of water large or small than your regular old elven spacepeoples. She also has a not-at-all hidden adoration for trashy teen pop punk music and taught herself how to play the bass, surprisingly well for someone without separated fingers. Her preferred Pikmin types are Ice, Winged, and Blue.

Rachel Aragno (Right, She/Her), of planet Kumoshigoto. The daughter of the owner of the Kankor Conglomerate, the most powerful business conglomerate across several planets within the intergalactic commission. She is not next in line for the company as her father intends on marrying her off. She manages to find an out every time with a little hacking, either by draining them financially or by ruining their reputations. Her talents lie in espionage and deception, as well as a general affinity for business and technology. Software only. Try to put her in front of a fried computer and she just might combust herself. She's the most physically capable of the crew, able to carry over her body weight per pair of arms. She's also got a secret pair of arms hidden in her hair. They fold up into her braid when she's in her suit to save on space. Her swordsmanship is unparalleled and relentless, though she lacks experience in fighting anything that isn't another sapient being in a controlled duel. She's more of a captain than the actual captain despite being the newest addition, managing their plans, "earnings", schedule, inventory, everything. If anyone else touches any of her jobs, she'll redo it anyway, since they probably did it wrong. She's serious and cold to anyone that isn't the crew, only showing a softer side to them... And the Pikmin, when absolutely nobody else is watching. She's the type of person to take card and board games way too seriously, competition is one of the few ways to reliably break her composure. Her favorite types of Pikmin are Rock and Red.

Byrd (Left, He/Him), who refuses to reveal his home planet to anyone. Mina happened to pick him up somewhere and has been sworn to secrecy on where that is, too. He's a sharpshooter surrounded by mystery, hiding his eyes, his intentions, and where exactly his horse came from. Or if it's even a horse. He calls it a horse, but nobody's really sure... His energy pistol can draw from proximity, and he's found that the emissions of Pikmin are the ultimate in renewable diverse power. Depending on what Pikmin he's commanding, the type of energy he can fire changes. Red Pikmin offer a beam that's great at attacking enemies, but poor at hitting switches or damaging his surroundings. Yellow Pikmin energy releases in a slow-moving orb that can activate traps or buttons. Blue Pikmin energy releases in a fast wave that can erode away walls, push at light objects, and even part bodies of water if he's got enough of it. He's intuitive and great at puzzles and problem solving, though he also bears a general distrust of anyone that isn't the horse. He's a fair bit on the lazy side as well, just as ready to opt to take a nap and let someone else handle a situation as he is to wrangle it himself. He can't draw any energy his pistol can use, so he likes to just stick easy with the three primary colors.

The "Horse" (Behind Byrd, It/Its or whatever is funniest at the time), nobody knows where it came from. Not even Byrd. He just found it in a traveling xenocircus and stole it. Not even on the same planet Mina found the two of them on. It takes well to any rider but it's favorite is Byrd by a long shot. It isn't bothered by rough terrain or unruly weather in the slightest, it'll march onward regardless. It doesn't seem to get tired either, but it always dons a sort of sleepy expression. It eats primarily vegetation, but it can stomach anything. Alien plants, poisonous plants, plants that might actually be animals... Except the Pikmin. It vehemently avoids eating the Pikmin, going as far as to even avoid explicitly safe food that's been in prolonged contact with them. Maybe it knows something everyone else doesn't... Or maybe you shouldn't base a conspiracy off of a creature that hunts down and eats Skitter Leaves for fun. Any creature, for that matter. The horse does, otherwise, behave like a horse. It neighs, whinnies, snorts and stomps. It's also fond of taking long walks on picturesque beaches and trying to wear Byrd's hat.

The RMS GUILDMASTER is equipped to handle everyone's needs and wants. A complex waterway accompanies and connects every room, a necessity for Mina if she wants to do anything outside of her suit. Like eating. Sleeping. Living. There's also a high-end computer management program installed that Rachel takes the utmost care of, updating it, maintaining every file and ensuring its firewall is up-to-date down to the second. There is an autopilot, but Byrd takes the metaphorical wheel more often than not thanks to the crew's sheer spontaneity and his ability to perform a vertical hairpin turn. Useful for outrunning enemy ships when the weapons and shield system isn't cutting it.

What ties the crew together in their conquest is ultimately a sense of selfishness. Mina could stop at all at any time and take up the mantle of Queen of Rybakai, but she doesn't want to. She wants to keep living a life of adventure. Rachel could go back to Kumoshigoto and eventually commandeer Kankor, but she doesn't want to. She wants to be more than just what she was born into. Byrd could give up the ghost and tell the crew who he really is and where he's from, but he doesn't want to. He wants to keep being nobody and escaping expectations. The horse... Really does know something they don't.

[the-fair-maiden-of-fandom]

more qjj livetweets but only on tumblr pt.4

|| so very many spoilers ||

im baaaack and im really actually not that funny but this is more of a reading log for my future self

nerd revolution!!!

like. hai liangyi’s end was awful. it was painful. but it’s objectively kind of funny to watch the students flip out because their nerd god died

domesticity

my instincts want me to say girlboss. my common sense says there’s OBVIOUSLY going to be something wrong with her when she ascends to power

someone told me shen zechuan is canonically horrendous at horseback riding, is that what this is about to be??

i see now that i was wrong

OKAY DING TAO I SEE YOU

li xiong,,,, baby what do you mean why are they bullying you, you’re a criminal

it’s like himbo to the nth degree

i never get sick of tactical prose, i really don’t

ngl ateez while reading this battle scene kinda hits

wow xiao fangxu im sure that’s not foreshadowing or anything. who could possibly be wolfish and also willing to lead libei. that’s crazy

falling asleep at a desk shouldn’t be as cute as it is

yao wenyu you say???? i wish i was surprised but i accidentally spoiled THAT storyline for myself

okay not to pull a sqq but,,,,, xcy kills very decisively,,,, that beheading tho

i sound insane but like the way the author describes his body tipping off the horse is art

xcy is NEVER beating the furry allegations

wait why is this luo mu fellow so interested in kong ling’s looks??? ‘,:| it's giving fruity

“earring” ooh, chapter title’s promising

A THOUSAND SERVANTS????

ah, yes, misogyny

hmmmm maybe not awful, just not as bright as szc, meaning he's going to be in hot water soon

my spidey senses are tingling and they say this man is going to die

“i can excuse murder but i draw the line at domestic abuse”

when szc smiles all i think of is death and destruction and maybe this makes me xcy but,,,, im not complaining

‘It was only then that Luo Mu understood that it was not just a front when Kong Ling said he was confident of success.’ szc is just That Good and i love that about him

OH MY GOD THE MILKKKKKKK

im dying thats so cute

THE LETTER SZC IS SO SMOOTH AND THEY ARE IN LOVEEE

you go ahead and try that strategy babe. i have full faith that you will die

so sexy of him

SO SEXY OF HIM

the threatening music,,, this scene is great but its so funny. want your enemies scared over afternoon tea? "alexa, play IC3PEAK"

I KNEW THEY WERE FRUITY

sbskskal 'breaking news: most dangerous man in the world still scared of being tattled on to his husband'

ji gang is such a dad i love him

the way that they're everything is so insane

CAUGHT RED HANDED

i always forget he's only twenty until he's literally hiding under the blankets to escape a scolding

oh boy everybody's in trouble now

they really are a found family huh

im crying laughing “A-Ye, I’m so hungry.” he is trying EVERYTHING

omg,,,,, in sickness and in health

and also FINALLY someones bringing up the kick

“Go on, keep acting cute with me. It’s futile, Shen Lanzhou. If you give yourself another stab the next time, I’ll die immediately in Libei. I won’t exist anymore, do you hear me?” this needs no words

[buttered-milky]

Putting notes for myself and anyone else who might want to expand on this(?) here as I watch this for the fourth time in my life:

Spoiler warning for Jennifer's Body, if anyone cares

First off initial thoughts actually before I start the watch - this is a p good template for any sort of AU.

bi4bi. girlbossing. eating men. “She asked for no pickles” as literally an opening dynamic. The fucked up demonology of trying to sacrifice someone. Loser4loser alliances all around. Just some really weird girl trying to work through complicated feelings for her best friend.

(Secret bonus: the best friend can throw up ferrofluid which is so cool to me)

Okay speedrun the main points of Jennifer: she is a succubus. except she doesn't really fuck people, just seduces and then eats them. she was created because she was erroneously offered as a virgin sacrifice to satan, and since she is not a virgin, she came back wrong. she has to eat people to keep herself in good health. I mean, the worst that happens to her in the movie when she's hungry is that she gets grumpy and looks a little sick and sometimes her hair falls out. but the eating is kind of an innate instinct anyway. it's implied she can't eat normal food since she throws it up. she can be killed pretty much any way, though the movie advises stabbing through the heart to be safe.

OKAY OKAY MOVIES STARTING TIME TO ESSENTIALLY LIVE TWEET THIS AS NOTES

Jennifer…owns a horse?? I did not notice that in my first three viewings. it's not important to these notes but it's important to me

Ur damn right hell is a teenage girl. Also I like the firsthand telling of this. I don’t think writing this in first person would be the worst actually. Plus I mean…eddie is a storyteller. Like Needy!

Jennifer's cheerleader status is a free excuse to make Steve a cheerleader

Mein Gott the constant flirting between Jennifer and Needy. of course that would be necessary in any silly fic and any AU but yknow

The immense potential of “I wish more guys wore eyeliner” coming from Steve. the immense potential of bonding over how pretty rockstars are

Don’t u just love when trying to protect ur friend’s reputation ends up getting them erroneously sacrificed (not included in the fic idc that much)

They absolutely must hold hands. And eddie absolutely must have an “am I sure about this” moment

I cannot believe I didn’t consider the possibility Jennifer got drugged beforehand she is like Extra incoherent in those ten minutes (not important to the fic but again important to me)

Y’know under normal circumstances I’d put chrissy in chip’s place but I see this as post s4 so…but do what u want

I Love the came back wrong trope. Plus her slow smile here is so

The POWERFUL homoeroticism of “Are you scared?” And then kissing your friend’s neck after they nod

Writing Steve as Jennifer also has immense potential for bitchy moments. That’s like Jennifer’s main fucking quality. Although I do tend to think one of the only reasons Jennifer kills so many people is because she’s a bitch in the first place. Like the curse cranks her up to eleven.

Survivor’s guilt Noted

COLIN IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN THIS ENTIRE DAMN MOVIE HES SUCH A LOSER okay back to notes

Dying and coming back wrong and getting Disney princess abilities so animals will watch you kill someone Noted

Needy is such a good Eddie template her mom is also presumably working nights

Side note to self: the bimbo heart outfit is actually very cute use that in a drawing.

They SHOULD watch rocky horror together

MY GOD COLIN IS SUCH A NERD if I didn't want this to last more than ten seconds as a fic I'd make Eddie him. he is the exact same brand of alternative kind of pathetic loser boy I love him. maybe in someone else's oneshot but not in my fic

"Are you scared? I mean I thought boys like you were really into vermin and death and shit" noted. "I need you frightened" NOTED

seeing your undead best friend while having sex NOTED

Ah yes, the important aspect of supernatural strength. crank that jock strength up to eleven babey

"We always share your bed when we have slumber parties"

there is also something to be said about killing everyone your best friend is even remotely interested in all while hardcore flirting with them

not relevant to notes but relevant to me: the band that sacrifices Jennifer kinda has some homosexual tendencies I never noticed Side Eye "that's a hot murder weapon" "it's a bowie knife" "bowie? nice" okay

"I woke up, and I found my way back to you" "I couldn't bring myself to hurt you" and of course "we can play boyfriend-girlfriend like we used to" all in the same scene

While we're here: I’m not gonna do this but if anyone else runs with this idea and also likes rockstar eddie, you gotta remember the band from this movie quite literally did sacrifice Jennifer for fame. Some lameass bar band did that. Idk man just saying there’s potential there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ridiculous ass high school dance outfits GO

man she's trying super hard to drown him girl just go crocodile mode death roll that shit

oh I forgot she can just have shark teeth whenever she wants. okay cool. oh and she can (kind of) fly (it's just hovering like she's in the exorcist)

"I thought you only murdered boys" "I go both ways" BISEXUALITYYYY (yet another reason I need Steve to be this)

whoever I choose to be my chip stand in has to die (unless, of course, I just don't care that much. which for once I might not.)

"I think I already died but I woke up when I heard your voice" is this a chip line? yes. is it still so fanfiction? yes

yeah I do think I will keep the "biting my best friend's neck and then levitating us both and holding onto her with my legs" bit

aaaand absent parents coming in clutch for that sad sort of fucked up ending! Steve Harrington I have never been so glad to have never seen your parents even once it transfers so well onto this au

I will probably not include the aftermath bits in a fic but it is a pretty cool implication

I am making no commitments to writing any of this, but if anyone else wants to use these notes/ideas for something, go for it. doesn't even have to be a Jennifer's body au, there are just some banger lines here regardless.

Vampire eddie this vampire eddie that blah blah WHERE are the Jennifer’s body Steve fics Hm??? There is potential here I must say

[criminalmindzjunkie]

Avoidance

masterlist

part two

Summary: Reader doesn’t know what she did to make Spencer hate her so much.

A/N: This fic is just a reminder that sub!Spencer lives rent free in my head at all times. Also, if anyone would like to be on a taglist for one shots like these, let me know! I’m going to work on getting one started.

Pairing: sub!Spencer/femdom! reader

Content Warnings: honestly way too much swearing, sexual harassment, slapping, hands free orgasm, oral sex (male and female receiving), hand job, orgasm denial, edging, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, degradation, femdom 

Word Count: 8.2k

           I have absolutely no idea what I’ve done to make Spencer Reid hate me.

           Usually, when someone despises a person to the point of complete and total avoidance, there’s a reason. No one just wakes up and decides to resent another person for the hell of it – right? Wrong.

           Because Spencer Reid positively loathes me – and I have no idea why.

           It all started on my first day at the BAU. I had somehow landed the highly coveted job of media liaison after the previous one had decided to complete the training to be a profiler. For reasons unbeknownst to me, they thought a twenty-four-year-old fresh out of college with no prior job experience was the best fit for the position. I didn’t understand it, but I also wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth.

           To say that I had been terrified the first time I set foot into the bullpen would be the understatement of the century. After a very formal and very intimidating orientation with the unit chief, my predecessor, a beautiful blonde named Jennifer, offered herself up to be my personal tour guide. Jennifer introduced me to the other members of the team, and with every smiling face I came in contact with, my fears of being the odd man out were assuaged. I could tell that Penelope Garcia, tech analyst extraordinaire, would most likely be my biggest ally – and it was abundantly clear that Derek Morgan and I would probably get into a fair amount of mischief together. Elle Greenaway seemed like the obvious choice for a future drinking buddy, and Jason Gideon – well, he merely grunted at me in acknowledgment before retreating back to his office. I figured three out of four wasn’t so bad.

           I didn’t meet Doctor Spencer Reid until after lunch. Jennifer mentioned something about him guest lecturing at a local university, which surprised me considering she mentioned him being a year younger than me. Apparently, the kid was an actual genius, which was more than a little bit intimidating, but Jennifer assured me that Spencer was a sweetheart.

           “He’s a little quirky, but I’m sure you’ll love him. Just don’t be surprised if he tries to talk your ear off,” Jennifer laughs. “Last week I asked him about the weather and he went off on a tangent about climate change that lasted nearly an hour.”

           By the time Spencer strolled into the bullpen at exactly one in the evening, I was sitting perched atop Jennifer’s desk, thoroughly engrossed as she told me about their latest case. When she stops talking midsentence in favor of smiling at someone behind me, I half expect that Morgan is attempting to sneak up on me, when:

           “Hey, look who’s back,” Jennifer greets, prompting me to turn around excitedly. I was eager to put a face to the man I’d heard so much about.

           And when I turn, my eyes land on the prettiest man I’ve ever seen.

           Sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jawline are framed by shaggy brown hair, complete with beautiful brown eyes and soft, pillowy lips. As if his good looks weren’t enough, he’s dressed in the most adorably nerdy sweater vest and a pair of thin framed glasses. He’s absolutely precious – a fact that Jennifer had conveniently left out.

           “How was the lecture?” Jennifer asks him as he places his satchel on the desk adjacent to hers. Spencer perks up at this, smiling excitedly from across the divider.

           “I think it went really good, actually. I incorporated this really cool joke that I heard about quantum physics. Do you want to-”

           He stops abruptly when he realizes Jennifer isn’t his only spectator, and those lovely brown eyes go almost comically wide when they settle on me.

           “Spencer, this is Y/N Y/L/N. She’s the new media liaison. Y/N, this is Doctor Spencer Reid.”

           I give him my best smile, tacking on a small wave for good measure.

           “It’s nice to meet you, Doctor Reid. Jennifer’s told me a lot about you.”

           “Uh, y-yeah. It’s n-nice to meet you, too,” Spencer stutters. He looks positively stricken and I’m fairly sure he hasn’t blinked in over a minute. I cast a glance at Jennifer, who seems just as confused as I am.

           Well, she had mentioned that he was a tad strange.

           “I’d like to hear the joke,” I offer, only to immediately regret it when I see him tense up.

           “N-No, that’s o-okay,” he chokes out as he struggles to gather the files on his desk. “It’s n-not that good, anyways.”

           And just as quickly as he came, Spencer leaves in a flurry of crumpled papers, leaving Jennifer and I wondering what the fuck just happened.

--

           Things didn’t get better with time. In fact, they got much worse.

           In the six months that I had been working for the BAU, I could count my interactions with Spencer Reid on one hand. It wasn’t for lack of trying on my part – in my desperation to figure out what I’d done to make him avoid me, I sought out the young genius every chance I got. But every time I got within ten feet of him, it’s like an alarm would sound in his head and he’d make up some excuse to leave the room.

           The others had noticed his strange behavior, too. It seemed they all had made a sort of game out of it – calling Spencer into rooms that I was in just to see him panic, or asking me to personally deliver files to his desk. At first, I played into it, hoping that their teasing would help to diffuse some of the tension.

           After a month of being on the receiving end of Spencer’s cold shoulder, I started avoiding him, too.

           I tried to act indifferent – like it didn’t hurt me as badly as it did. I no longer sought him out, and by month two, we had a sort of understanding. I didn’t go near him, and he didn’t go near me, and that’s how it went on for four miserable months.

           Until today.

           “Reid, Y/L/N, you’re in 202.”

           I damn near drop my bag on the floor. This was bound to happen at some point or another, but I hadn’t planned on that day being today, and I was not prepared. After nine hours of running around the local police department, my body was weighed down from fatigue and I was downright grumpy. Not to mention I had picked the worst possible day to try and break in a new pair of heels, and my feet were throbbing.

           Needless to say, I was in no mood to deal with Spencer Reid’s bullshit.

           “Uh, Hotch? Could I maybe room with Elle?” I ask, sending a glare in Morgan’s direction when he snorts out a laugh. Hotch raises an eyebrow at me.

           “Why? Is there a problem?”

           Yes, sir, there certainly is. And your guess is as good as mine as to what that problem is.

           “No, but I just think that-”

           “Good. Then you should be fine to share a room with him.”

           Right.

           I spare a brief glance at Spencer, who, in the last thirty seconds, has turned the color of a tomato. I pray that he’ll speak up and voice his discomfort, but just like always, he stays silent.

           Hotch doles out the room keys and I begin the trek down the hallway, my poor aching feet groaning in protest with every step. I’m vaguely aware of the sound of footsteps behind me, and it’s not until I swipe the key into the key card that Spencer speaks.

           But not to me – no, never to me.

           “Derek, please, I’m begging you. Just switch with me this one time, and – and I’ll do your reports for a month!”

           After six months of dealing with Spencer’s aversion to me, his words should come as no surprise. And really, I’d expected as much - but that didn’t mean it hurt any less.

           “Not happening, kid. This is the perfect opportunity for you to get over whatever problem you have with Y/N. I bet you’ll even end up liking her. She’s not going to be rude to you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

           “… T-That’s not what I’m worried abo-”

           I don’t wait around to hear the rest of his sentence. I push open the door to the room, not bothering to wait for Spencer before closing it. I kick off my heels as soon as the door clicks shut, letting out a half relieved, half frustrated  groan.

           After claiming the bed nearest the air conditioner as my own, I pluck my pajamas and toiletry bag out from my suitcase and shuffle over to the bathroom. The way I see it, the quicker I get a shower and can go to sleep, the faster the night will pass. Before I know it, this unfortunate situation will be a thing of the past.

           After drawing out the shower for as long as I possibly could, I exit the bathroom clad in a tank top and a pair of shorts, hair dripping wet and skin freshly scrubbed clean. Spencer’s sitting on his bed, book in hand and tie loosened. He doesn’t look up at me when I walk by - not that I’d expected him to. A thick silence hangs in the air as I pull a bottle of lotion out from my suitcase, and I debate turning on the TV just to make things slightly less awkward. In the end I decide against it, because I doubt even that could make this situation better.

           I prop a leg up on the bed and begin to lather my legs in cherry scented lotion, paying special care to my aching feet before moving on. It’s not until both of my legs have been thoroughly massaged and coated in lotion that I look up.

           Spencer’s eyes are locked on me, mouth hanging open and chest heaving up and down. His knuckles are white from how hard they’re clutching the book in his hands, but despite that I can still see the way they’re trembling. When he realizes I've caught him staring, he closes his mouth and gulps hard.

           I straighten up and raise an eyebrow in a silent question, and that’s enough for Spencer to snap his book shut and scramble off of the bed. He’s clumsy as he moves to his suitcase, dropping his bottle of travel shampoo twice before he reaches the bathroom. If I wasn’t so off put by whatever the hell had just happened, I might have thought it cute.

--

           As if the universe thought my current predicament wasn’t enough to deal with, the next morning I was dealt another shitty hand. This time, my distress came in the form of a young cop who couldn’t pick up on social cues to save his life. After an entire morning of dodging sleazy advances, I finally managed to shake him when his superior sent him out to go and actually do his fucking job.

           Or so I thought.

           I’m standing in the breakroom, pouring my fourth (or is it my fifth?) cup of coffee when I hear the sound of footsteps in the hall. I don’t know if I’ve developed a sixth sense about these things, or if I’m just particularly on edge today, but I know it’s the young officer before he can even cross the threshold.

           And when he does, and he sees that he has me cornered, a saccharine smile stretches across his lips.

           “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he drawls in an accent that could probably be attractive if he wasn’t so damn skeevy.

           “Might wanna get your eyes checked,” I mutter, refusing to look in his direction as I stir my coffee.

           “Pretty and feisty. Just how I like my women.”

           “I am not your anything,” I seethe, and instead of backing off like any respectful human being would, he just chuckles and begins to saunter towards me.

           “C’mon baby, you don’t have to be that way. You don’t have to act all professional with me.”

           “Don’t call me that.” I look at him now, and the smug, self-righteous smile on his face makes my blood boil.

           “You don’t like baby? That’s fine – I’m sure I can think of lots of other things to call you,” he murmurs. He’s closer now, so close that I can practically feel his breath against my neck.

           “I’m going to tell you to stop one more time, and it would be in your best interest to listen,” I growl.

           “Or what?” he taunts. “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

           I jolt forward when a hand comes down hard on my ass, squeezing me harshly through the material of my skirt.

           Oh, fuck no.

           I’m whirling around faster than I ever thought possible, and then a harsh crack sounds throughout the room as my hand comes in contact with his face.

           My hand stings from the contact, but the pain is welcome because he flies backwards, stumbling and grasping as his already reddening cheek.

           “What the fuck?” he roars, eyes flashing with unbridled fury. I take several steps towards him, and to my utmost delight he nearly trips over himself in his hurry to put distance between us. I stop when his back hits the wall and I lean in until our faces are only inches apart.

           “Listen here, you limp dick fuck,” I snarl. “I’m getting real sick and fucking tired of pathetic pieces of shit like you thinking they can put their hands on women. What’s your problem? Are you so fucking tactless that you can’t get anyone to fuck you?” I punctuate my question by jabbing my pointer finger into his chest and cocking my head to the side. “Are you so unappealing that the only way you can get your hands on a woman is to wait until she’s alone and try to corner her?

           Or is it a power thing? You’ve got the gun and the badge so you think you’re entitled to just take what you want, don’t you? You think no one can stop you because you’re in a position of power. Well, I have some news for you – I outrank you, and you just assaulted a federal agent. I will not stop until I ruin your fucking career, and if you even think of trying to lie your way out of this, I’ll do a helluva lot fucking worse. After the week I’m having, I am just looking for an excuse to kick your fucking dick into the dirt. Do you understand?”

           By the time I finish speaking, my chest is heaving up and down and my eyes are narrowed into slits. The officer is so angry that he’s shaking, hands balled up to fists at his sides. For a moment, I think he’ll try to hit me, but then his hard-exterior cracks and the anger gives way to fear.

           “You – You can’t tell anyone about this,” he says, trying his best to sound menacing. But his voice wavers, and I can tell he’s losing his grip. “It’ll r-ruin my career.”

           I raise my hand up to his cheek, placing my palm over the red imprint I had left on his skin. And then I flash him the sweetest goddamn smile that ever there was.

           “I’d like to see you try to stop me.”

           I give him a pat on the cheek before turning around and heading for the door, only to stop halfway when I see that I have an audience of one.

           Spencer stands in the doorway, a coffee mug gripped tightly in one hand, mouth agape and eyes wide. He’s standing stock still, eyes darting in between the police officer and me. I let out an exasperated sigh because of-fucking-course it would be Spencer that would happen to walk in on whatever that just was.

           “Close your mouth, Reid. That’s how you catch flies,” I deadpan, prompting Spencer to snap his mouth shut.

           Without another word, I brush past him and leave the break room.

--

           I suppose the universe had decided to finally give me a break, because that afternoon we were able to apprehend the unsub. But my good fortune only went so far, because Hotch announced that we would be leaving first thing in the morning – which meant another night alone with Spencer Reid.

           He didn’t mention what he walked in on when the two of us arrived back at our room, and I didn’t expect him to. The two of us went about the motions of unwinding from the day in complete and utter silence, and by the time I emerge from the shower I decide that I’ve had enough.

           “I’m gonna go stay with Elle and Derek,” I murmur as I zip up my suitcase and slip on my shoes.

           “Oh. O-Okay.”

           And that was that.

           It’s about an hour later when my phone is on four percent that I realize I hadn’t remembered to bring my charger with me. I contemplate just letting it die, but the idea of sitting through a seven-hour jet ride tomorrow without it sounds excruciating. Then again, so does the idea of having to suffer through an interaction with Spencer.

           The phone wins out in the end, and with Derek and Elle still snoring softly in their respective beds, I slip out of the room and into the hallway. With any luck, Spencer will be in a similar state and I’ll be able to sneak in and out without him waking up.

           I think thank my lucky stars when I slowly crack open the door to Spencer’s room and see that the lights are off. I take special care to close the door as quietly as possible before tiptoeing across the carpeted floors, feeling my way around in the dark so that I don’t trip over anything.

I make it halfway across the room when I hear it – it’s quiet, and if the air conditioner had been on, I wouldn’t have even heard it at all. It’s faint, so faint that I wonder if I’d imagined it, but then that same sound breaks through the silence and I know it’s not a product of my imagination.

I hear the covers rustle, and then a low moan followed by the distinct sound of skin on skin. My blood runs cold as the moans grow louder and more frequent, rolling off Spencer’s lips in rapid succession. There’s heavy breathing and whimpering and holy fuck I just walked in on Spencer Reid masturbating.

Spencer cries out a particularly load moan, one that sounds so pornographic that it shoots straight to my core. It’s sexy and dirty and he sounds absolutely wrecked, and the part of my brain that is still capable of logical thinking is screaming get out! Get out, now!

I begin to slowly backtrack, moving at one tenth of the speed that I had coming in because the possibility of being caught is absolutely not an option. If Spencer hates me now, he’d really hate me if he found out I snuck into his room at night and heard… that.

I’m about five feet away from the door when:

“O-Oh my God, yes! Y/N, please - fuck!”

I think then that I certainly have to be dreaming, because there’s no way I’d just heard him correctly. There’s no way that Spencer – the same Spencer that scurried out of the room when I walked in – was moaning my name while he touched himself. Absolutely not.

But then it happens again and again and again – my name falling from his lips incessantly like some kind of debauched chant.

It feels like my skin is on fire – my mind a befuddled mess – and before my brain can tell me what a terrible idea it is, my feet are carrying me back into the room and I’m coming to a stop at the foot of Spencer’s bed.

Bathed in the glow of the moonlight shining through the window, Spencer looks ethereal. There’s a thin line of sweat beading on his forehead, and his usually meticulously slicked back hair is fanned out on the pillow like some sort of halo. His teeth are nestled into his bottom lip now, and all that can be heard are tiny whimpers as his hand slides up and down underneath the bed sheets. Spencer’s always beautiful, almost painfully so. But the way he looks now, shadows dancing across his face as he works himself to orgasm, is infinitely more breathtaking than words can express.

It doesn’t take long for Spencer to release his lip from beneath his teeth, and when he does my name is flying out of his mouth once more.

I take that as my invitation to speak.

“I don’t think I’ve heard you say my name before.”

Spencer’s entire body stills and his eyes fly open to reveal two dark pools full of sheer panic.

“I-I can explain,” he stammers, moving to clutch the comforter to his chest in an attempt to cover himself.

I let out a hum and sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Please do. I’m very interested in hearing about just what you were picturing me doing.”

Spencer sucks in a harsh breath. I can practically see the wheels in his brain turning -desperately trying to concoct some kind of reasonable explanation.

“I-I… I don’t… I’m s-sorry,” he stutters, and it’s so adorable how he’s squirming underneath my gaze that I decide to help him out.

“Was I sucking you off? Or were you fucking me?” I wonder aloud. He tries to hide it, thinking the covers will mask the way that his hips buck up, but I definitely see it.

“I-I…”

“Which was it, Spencer? Was I taking you down my throat or were you fucking my pussy? Or maybe I was coming undone on your face – was that it?”

Spencer lets out a low groan, and if my patience hadn’t been running so fucking thin, I probably would’ve left it at that. But after the hell he’d put me through for the last six months, I feel like he deserved to squirm a little.

“Fucking answer me.”

“Y-You were, um… r-riding me. And you s-slapped m-me.”

Oh.

This just got a lot more interesting.

I raise an eyebrow at him and I can see the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down as he gulps.

“So, you liked what you saw today, did you?”

Spencer nods so fervently that I have to bite down on my tongue to suppress a laugh.

“Words, baby. Use them.”

“I-I liked it. A lot.”

“Apparently so, seeing as you were moaning for it like a desperate little slut,” I breeze, my tone cool and indifferent. “Have you done this before, Doctor? Touched yourself to the thought of me, that is.”

“… Y-Yes. I’m s-sorry. I didn’t m-mean to. It just kind of happened one night, and once I started, I couldn’t s-stop.”

I reach out a hand and brush away the hair that had fallen into his face, tucking it back behind his ear before continuing.

“Why the cold shoulder, then? And here I thought you hated me,” I muse, before pausing and cocking my head to the side. “Do you hate me, Doctor?” I ask, and just when I thought he couldn’t look more guilty, he proves me wrong.

“No! I just… couldn’t be around you. I felt so b-bad. You were so nice, and I was using you to g-get off,” Spencer explains. “I couldn’t look you in the eye. Not after picturing you… like that.”

I let out a sigh. Knowing that Spencer didn’t actually hate me for the last six months was a relief. Knowing that Spencer was secretly rubbing one out to me was something else entirely. Whatever was I to do with this information?

“So, you want to fuck me, then?” I reiterate. “Why not tell me this sooner?”

“The probability of you responding positively to me telling you that I, uh, m-masturbate to you was very l-low. And after what I saw today, I think I was wise for keeping that from you,” Spencer says, the last part coming out in a rush. I can’t help but let out a low laugh.

“Yes, but the guy that was coming on to me today wasn’t someone I find attractive. He was pompous and crass and pushy - and you, Doctor Reid, are none of those things.”

“R-Really? You think I’m attractive?”

I hum.

“Very much so, Doctor. But I’m afraid you may have waited too long, and now I don’t feel as inclined to be nice,” I murmur, allowing my hand to trail down from his shoulder to his collar bones before lightly grazing his nipple with my thumb.

“O-Oh my… God,” Spencer whimpers, eyes fluttering shut as my fingers continue to dance across his skin.

“But then again, I don’t think you really want me to be nice to you. I think you want me to treat you like my little play thing.” I stop my hand just below his navel and I thumb across the light layer of hair that makes up his happy trail. “You want to be my dirty boy - don’t you, Doctor Reid?”

“P-Please,” Spencer chokes out, hips jerking up when I allow my thumb to graze a little lower.

“Please what?”

Spencer lets out a frustrated groan.

“Please, I-I want you to u-use me. However you want, just as l-long as you just do-don’t stop touching me,” he rambles. He’s shuddering underneath me, his breaths coming out in harsh pants as my hand wanders lower and lower until I abruptly pull away. “W-Why did you stop?”

“Because I don’t think you deserve to be touched just yet. You’ve got six months to make up to me, after all. I think I want you on your knees for me first,” I say, and from the way his eyes seem to dilate even further, I don’t think he has any objections. “Are you familiar with the color system?”

Spencer nods.

“Green for good, yellow means slow down, and red means stop now.”

“Do you have a safe word?”

“I… I’ve never really, uh. Done t-this.”

Oh. Oh.

I withdraw my hand from its place on his leg and Spencer lets out a distressed whine. “No, please! Don’t go. I’m not a complete virgin, I promise. I got a h-hand job once,” he argues. “And I think I’ve done enough, uh, research, and I really want to try to make you cum. I want to be good for you. Please let me try.”

Spencer looks like he’s about two seconds away from crying, and I can feel my argument dying before it even leaves my mouth.

“Oh, baby, I know you’d be so good,” I coo, and just like that Spencer’s leaning towards me, desperate to have the contact. I indulge him, placing my hand on his cheek, and he relaxes into the touch. “Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’m not what anyone would call vanilla, and I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”

“I trust you. I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else,” Spencer whispers, and he sounds so damn sincere that I feel my resolve crumbling.

“You’ll let me know if at any point you want to stop?”

“Yes. Absolutely!”

Enthusiastic little shit.

“Safe word?”

“Um… Tolstoy?”

I let out a snort.

“Alright, smarty pants. We’re going to start now, okay?”

“Yes, Miss,” Spencer pants out.

Fuck me running. He clearly has been doing his research.

“Get on your knees for me, baby. I wanna see just how eager to please you are,” I instruct as I stand up and shimmy out of my shorts. I discard my shirt, too, absentmindedly throwing it somewhere across the room. Spencer lets out a startled squeak when he sees that I’m now completely naked, aside from my underwear.

“Y-You’re so pretty,” Spencer breathes out. “Even better than I imagined.”

The sentiment tugs at my heart, really, it does, but I specifically requested that he get on his knees and he seems a lot more content to just sit and stare.

“On your knees,” I command, and Spencer jumps up almost comically fast.

“S-Sorry, Miss,” he apologizes as he lowers himself down. I seat myself on the edge of the bed and spread my legs for him.

“Don’t apologize, just do as I ask of you, okay baby?”

Spencer nods.

“C-Can I kiss you? Like on the lips first?” Spencer asks as he looks up at me with big doe eyes. It’s a beautiful thing, the image of Spencer Reid sitting in between my legs, cheeks flushed and chest rapidly rising and falling. I give Spencer a sweet smile and lean forward, and the excitement radiating off of him is practically palpable. He leans forward, too eager to wait for me to close the gap, and the action makes my chest swell in adoration.

Just as our lips are about to meet, I pause, and Spencer barely has the time to look confused before my palm connects with the side of his face. The moan it draws out of him is obscene and his hips jolt forward, desperate for some kind of friction. His dick rests painfully hard between his legs, flushed red with precum beading at the tip.

I waste no time in taking his chin in my hand and tilting his head upwards.

“Did I say you could kiss me?” I ask him, voice sugary sweet, contrasting starkly with my actions.

“N-No, Miss. I’m sorry,” Spencer pants out. His hand twitches at his side and I can see how desperately he wants to touch himself, but his desire to please keeps him still.  

“Then the answer is no. Maybe if you can prove to me that you aren’t completely incompetent at eating pussy, I’ll consider it,” I allow a moment for my words to sink in. “Color?”

“Green. So fucking green,” Spencer whines.

“Good boy,” I praise him, and the effects of my words are instantaneous. Spencer rests his cheek against the skin of my thigh and then he’s nuzzling his face against me in a silent plea for permission. After a moment, his pleas become a lot less silent.

“Wanna be your good boy - please let me,” Spencer begs as his nose brushes against my skin. “I want to make you feel good. S’all I ever think about, since the first time I saw you.”

His words send a jolt of pleasure to my core and I reward his brazen honesty with a tender smile and a nod.

“Go ahead, baby. Let me see what that pretty mouth of yours can do.”

The words barely have time to leave my mouth before Spencer is reaching out and hooking a finger underneath the waistband of my panties. I raise up off the bed just enough for him to slide them down my legs, and before I even manage to settle back down onto the bed, Spencer literally dives in. He starts with one long lick, and by the time he reaches my clit he’s crying out lewd moans against me. The feel of the vibrations mixed with the feel of his mouth on me is maddening in the best possible way, and my eyelids threaten to flutter closed under the weight of my pleasure.

“Fuck, baby – you’re doing so good,” I sigh as I lift my hand up and card my fingers through his hair. “You look so pretty on your knees for me.”

Spencer’s movements stutter when he feels my hand tangle itself into his hair, and I let out a light chuckle. I grab hold of the roots and give an experimental tug. My actions cause his hips to jolt forward violently.

“O-Oh my…” Spencer keens, raising his glossy, lust filled eyes to mine. “H-Harder, please.”

I oblige, and Spencer lets out a particularly filthy groan before lapping at my pussy like a man possessed. His hands come to wrap around my thighs and he pulls me closer to him, causing me to let out a gasp when his nose nudges against my clit. The sound only spurs him on further – Spencer begins assaulting my clit, alternating between short, kitten licks and light sucking. The control I had so adamantly been asserting over him began to slip from my fingertips the longer he worked his mouth against me, and quiet, breathy moans started falling from my lips.

“Such a good boy, Spence,” I moan as I scratch my fingernails against his scalp. “You’re making me feel so good, baby. Love that dirty little mouth of yours.”

Spencer thrives on the praise – that much is made obvious by the way he whimpers and tightens his grip on my thighs. He’s completely submitted himself to the act of getting me off, only stopping long enough to cry out when my hands give a particularly harsh tug on his hair.

“Add a finger, baby,” I tell him, allowing my hand to drift down the side of his face, caressing the sharp angles of his cheekbones.

Spencer releases my thigh from his hold and tentatively raises a hand to my entrance, eyes raising to meet mine.

“You’ll tell me if I do something wrong?” he asks, and his concern is so endearing that I tilt his chin upwards and lean forward until my lips meet his.

Spencer gasps into the kiss, shocked, but it doesn’t take him long before his lips are moving against mine fervently. His lips are slick with my arousal, and I dart my tongue out just long enough to swipe it across his bottom lip.

           “D’you like how I taste, baby?” I murmur against his lips, pulling back slightly when Spencer tries to bring his lips down against mine.

           “S-So much,” he whispers, before letting out a frustrated groan when I tease him with the slightest brush of my lips before pulling away again. “P-Please, kiss me again.”

           I bump my nose against his before I reach down and grab his hand in mine.

           “Don’t be a greedy boy, Spencer. Greedy boys don’t get to cum,” I chastise him as I raise his hand up to my mouth. I trace my bottom lip with his pointer finger as Spencer watches on in rapt fascination, before taking the digit into my mouth and sucking. Spencer chokes out a pathetic cry and his hips hopelessly buck into the air as I swirl my tongue around the pad of his finger, taking special care to coat it with spit before releasing it from my mouth.

           I guide his hand back down to my pussy, gasping when the tip of his finger brushes across my entrance.

           “Just take it slow, baby. Start with one and move up to two once you get the hang of it.”

           Spencer nods, eyes alternating between my face and my entrance as he slowly slides his finger in me.

           “You’re so warm, oh my God,” Spencer breathes out, tentatively pulling out his finger before inserting it back in. I hum appreciatively as he begins to move faster, eyelids fluttering shut when he lowers his head and begins languidly licking my clit.

           “Feels so nice, Spence. I fucking love your fingers. Knew that they’d feel like this. I can only imagine how good your cock will feel,” I ramble, one hand fisted in the sheets and the other tugging on his honey brown hair.

           I groan as he inserts a second finger, reveling in the way he’s stretching me out.

           “Curl your fingers when you – fuck! Just like that, baby. Gonna make me cum if you keep doing t-that.”

Spencer speeds up both the onslaught of his fingers and his mouth at my admission, tongue working figure eights on my clit while his fingers brush up against my g-spot. A familiar warmth starts to spread in my lower belly, and with every swipe of Spencer’s tongue against my clit, the coil in my stomach winds tighter and tighter until, finally:

“O-Oh, fuck, Spence!”

The coil snaps, sending jolts of pleasure straight through my core. I can feel the way my walls tighten around Spencer’s fingers as my orgasm rips through me, never stopping their ministrations in an attempt to help me ride out my high. Vibrations ripple across my clit when Spencer lets out a cry of his own before his movements halt completely as shudders wrack his body.

I know he didn’t just…

           I allow myself a moment to recover before I lean forward and drag my eyes down Spencer’s slender frame – and sure enough, his tummy is covered in white ropes of cum and his now softening cock is hanging limply between his legs.

           Spencer’s eyes reluctantly open when his shudders cease, and one look at my pissy expression is enough to send him into a fit.

           “I-I didn’t mean to cum! I’m so sorry, Miss. It’s j-just that you looked so pretty when you came, and you taste so good! And you were pulling my hair, and you called me a good boy and I just couldn’t do it anymo-”

           “Shut up,” I seethe, voice cold and laced with annoyance. Spencer’s mouth snaps shut and he gulps. “Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t remember saying that you were allowed to come. Am I mistaken?”            “N-No, Miss.”

           “Mm, that’s what I thought,” I hum. “Stand up.”

           “B-But I want to make you cum again! Can I plea-”

           “Shut the fuck up and stand up, Spencer.”

           Spencer rushes to his feet, stumbling a bit when his legs begin to shake. He corrects himself, standing perfectly still in front of me with a shameful look on his face. I scoot back on the bed and fix him with a stony look.

           “I want you to lay on your stomach across my lap. Can you do that, Doctor Reid, or are you too stupid to follow simple directions?”

           Spencer adamantly shakes his head, scrambling to splay out across my bare thighs. Once he’s comfortable, I raise a palm to his bare ass cheek and smooth my hand across the skin.

           “Color?”

           “G-Green,” Spencer stutters out.

           “Wonderful. Since you’ve decided to be a greedy little slut and cum before I gave you permission, I’m going to punish you. Do you remember your safe word, baby?”

           “Tolstoy.”

           “Good boy. I’m going to give you ten, and I want you to count them out for me. One for every month you held out on me, and four because you’re an insolent little whore who can’t do as he’s told. Does that sound fair to you?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss. P-Please.”

           A harsh smack sounds throughout the room, and Spencer lets out a whorish moan that’s bound to wake the people in the neighboring rooms. The pale skin of his ass transforms to red, and I rub my palm across it soothingly.

           “O-One,” Spencer says through gritted teeth as he rocks his hips against my legs.

           “You okay, baby?”

           “Y-Yes, Miss. Please don’t stop. I deserve it. P-Punish me, please.”

           My palm comes down across his ass four more times, and with each strike I watch Spencer fall apart right before my eyes. Tears are gliding down his flushed cheeks, and his cock is now painfully hard against my legs.

           “Five more to go, baby. Keep counting for me, my pretty boy.”

           By the time my hand comes down against his flesh for the final time, Spencer has devolved into a mess of pathetic whimpers. His cock is smearing precum across my thighs as he rocks against me, and his ass is covered in a litany of bright red marks. Incomprehensible pleas are falling from his lips, and his hands are tightly fisted in the sheets.

           I lean forward and place a gentle kiss to each of his battered cheeks.

           “T-Thank you, Miss. Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

           “You’re welcome, baby. Can you go lay in the center of the bed for me?”

           Spencer gives a feeble nod and crawls to the center of the bed, carefully laying himself down and letting out a low hiss when his ass came in contact with the mattress.

           I let him rest against the sheets before I roll over and settle in between his legs.

           Spencer’s cock, painfully hard and leaking precum, sits against his belly. Spencer watches as I trace lithe fingers up his thigh, his chest rising and falling quickly as I get closer to where he demands my attention.

           A garbled groan rips from his throat when my hand grasps his cock, and I have to place my other hand on his hip and force him back down onto the bed when he tries to buck up.

           “Stay still, baby,” I tut as I drag my fist up and down at an agonizingly slow pace.

           “S-Sorry, M-Miss,” Spencer stutters. His brows are drawn together and his eyes are heavy lidded. “Need m-more, please.”

           “Mm, I don’t think you need more. You just want more. Dumb little greedy baby,” I tease as my thumb swipes across his head.

           “Oh… G-God, please!” Spencer mewls.

           “Is what I’m giving you not good enough?”

           “N-No, it’s just-”

           I raise an eyebrow at him and halt my movements.

           “No, it isn’t good enough?”

           Spencer lets out a frustrated groan and his fists clench the sheets.

           “P-Please, Miss! I’ll be your good boy, I promise. Just let me cum, please, I want it so bad!”

           Thoroughly pleased by his shameless begging, I start moving my hand again.

           “Let me know when you’re about to cum, baby.”

           That moment comes when, not thirty seconds later, the muscles in Spencer’s abdomen start to spasm – telltale signs of an impending orgasm. Spencer is so lost in the way my hand is moving against his cock that he makes no move to warn me, and just as I see his eyes start to flutter shut, I withdraw my hand.

           “W-Why did yo-”

           “You didn’t tell me you were about to cum. I thought you said you were going to be a good boy, Spencer? You sure aren’t acting like someone who wants to cum.”

           “S-Sorry, please, just… fuck!”

           Spencer’s whole-body folds in on itself when my mouth wraps around the head of his cock. I swirl my tongue around the tip, lapping up the precum that had gathered before I pull away.

           “You’ve got such a pretty cock, baby. Can’t believe nobody’s had you in their mouth yet,” I murmur, pausing to drag my tongue along the veiny underside of his erection. “Let me hear you, baby. Wanna know how much you like when I use my mouth on you.”

           “Love it so much, oh God… Feels so warm and wet. Thank you so much, Miss. God, it feels perfect,” Spencer keens as I take him into my mouth again. Mumbled praises fall from his lips as I take him deeper, and the second my nose hits the soft skin of his belly, Spencer’s hand comes up and begins to tap incessantly on my shoulder.

           “S-Stop! I-I’m close – Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking close and I really want to cum inside you, i-if that’s okay with you,” Spencer babbles, eyes wide and pleading. I smile up at him.

           “Do you think you deserve to cum in my pussy?”

           “H-Honestly, no, but I’m hoping you’ll let me anyways,” Spencer says, shooting me an adorably shy smile that has my heart doing somersaults in my chest. I let out a light laugh and shake my head, moving to straddle his lap.

           “Are you sure you want to do this, Spence?” I murmur as I caress the side of his face with my hands. “This can stop right here, if you want it to.”

           “Please, Miss. I want this. I want you,” Spencer reiterates, eyes shining and filled to the brim with adoration.

           “Want you, too, baby. You can call me my name now, if you want,” I say as I place a gentle kiss on his lips. I move to pull away, but Spencer’s hand is quick to grasp the back of my neck and pull me back in.

           While our lips move together, frenzied and desperate, I sneak a hand in between our bodies and grab Spencer’s cock. He gasps into my mouth as I drag his head in between my folds.

           “I-I won’t last long,” Spencer chokes out, eyes trained on where I’m rubbing him against me. “I’ll try my b-best, but I’m sorry if I c-cum too fast.”

           I sink down just enough that his head is the only thing inside me, watching as his face contorts beautifully as a result.

           “Don’t worry about me, baby. Tonight’s all about you.”

           With one last, chaste kiss to his lips, I slowly begin to lower myself down onto his length. The sound of our moans fill the room as Spencer clings desperately to me, hands finally finding purchase on my hips.

           “Y/N, fuck, you feel so good,” Spencer whimpers as I begin to slowly rock against him. “I-I knew it would feel good, but oh my God. I-I can’t… I’m gonna cum, soon. M’so sorry.”

           His admission prompts me to move faster, raising my hips until he’s almost completely out of me before I’m slamming back down.

           “Spence, you feel so good. Such a good boy – my good boy.”

           “Yes, yes, I’m all yours! Only yours, please!” Spencer whines. I lean forward, and the change of angle is enough for both of us to cry out.

           “Are you gonna be a good boy and cum for me, Spence?” I murmur into his ear, biting lightly against his earlobe. “I want you to cum in me, baby. Don’t you want to be my good boy?” I punctuate my words by lightly wrapping my hand around this throat and squeezing, and that’s all it takes for Spencer to completely fall apart underneath me. 

           “Y/N - fuck!”

           Spencer’s grip on my hips tightens as he bucks up into me, painting the inside of my pussy with his cum as he yells out strangled exclamations of my name. He presses his face into my shoulder as I ride him through his orgasm, whispering quiet thank yous and pressing open mouthed kisses to my skin as the euphoria floods through his body.

             I place a kiss to his forehead before I crawl off of him, having every intention of getting up and procuring a wet washrag. But Spencer reaches out to grip my arm, and his eyes look so sad that I stop in my tracks.

           “C-Can you stay? Please?”

           The insecurity in his voice tugs at my heart.

           “Of course, I’m staying. Was just gonna get a wet washrag for us. M’not gonna leave you, Spence,” I murmur. Spencer visibly untenses, but his grip on my arm doesn’t lessen.

           “Could you just stay here a little bit longer?”

           “Sure thing, baby,” I say, prompting Spencer’s lips to pull up into a pleased smile. I crawl back into the bed and lay on my back, and Spencer instantly plasters himself to my side. He hums contentedly as he wraps his arms around me, and I let out a light laugh when I catch him stealing glances at me.

           “What is it, baby?”

           A rosy blush spreads across his cheeks.

           “Can I kiss you?”

           After everything we just did, he still feels the need to ask permission to kiss me. What a sweet boy.

           My answer comes in the form of me pressing my lips to his, and that’s how we stay until he pulls away.

           “I have another question,” he says shyly.

           “Lay it on me, baby.”

           The blush on his cheeks gets significantly more pronounced.

           “It’s just that, uh, you didn’t get to cum again. And I really want you to, because you took such good care of me,” Spencer pauses, and his fingertips lightly graze the inside of my thigh. “C-Could I please eat you out again?” Another pause, and he retracts his hand. “I-It’s okay if not. I understand if you just wanted this to be… a one-time thing. I guess I was just kind of hoping that it w-wouldn’t be. But that’s silly – you were just doing me a favor. I’m sorry I asked.”

           Spencer cringes as he finishes speaking, not even giving me a chance to reply before he’s trying to pull away. I tighten my grip on his arm, and Spencer gives me a weary look.

           “First of all, I don’t think I would ever say no to being eaten out – especially if you’re the one offering. Second, this is definitely not a one off. I have lots of plans for you, pretty boy,” I explain, and the relief that radiates off of Spencer is almost palpable.

           “Thank God,” he sighs, and then he’s scooting down the bed and settling in between my legs.

--

           And if the rest of the team notices the way Spencer starts following me around like a lost puppy - well, they’re all kind enough not to point it out.

[ogsherlockholmes]

19th October

In The Illustrious Client, there is no clearly defined 'crime’ technically, it’s more about Baron Gruner coercing Violet de Merville (I think she’s the fourth Violet in the canon) to marry him. This is how the client describes Gruner:

“The fellow is, as you may have heard, extraordinarily handsome, with a most fascinating manner, a gentle voice, and that air of romance and mystery which means so much to a woman. He is said to have the whole sex at his mercy and to have made ample use of the fact.” 

Don’t let this fool you, he’s not the next tumblr sexyman since he was quite literally accused of killing his old wife and managed to get away with it. 

Gruner was already on Sherlock’s radar, and he knew about his background before the client explained. The client wanted to convince Violet not to marry Gruner, so she wouldn’t be in danger, but that didn’t work and so Sherlock was called in. To get an idea of this guy, he is compared to the likes of Moriarty and Sebastian Moran.

“We are dealing on this occasion, Mr. Holmes, with a man to whom violence is familiar and who will, literally, stick at nothing. I should say that there is no more dangerous man in Europe.”  “I have had several opponents to whom that flattering term has been applied,” said Holmes with a smile... “If your man is more dangerous than the late Professor Moriarty, or than the living Colonel Sebastian Moran, then he is indeed worth meeting.”

At the same time, Gruner is also described as being a man of intellectual hobbies, so it’s difficult to understand what his character is. 

“He has expensive tastes. He is a horse fancier. For a short time he played polo at Hurlingham, but then this Prague affair [when he murdered his wife] got noised about and he had to leave. He collects books and pictures. He is a man with a considerable artistic side to his nature. He is, I believe, a recognized authority upon Chinese pottery and has written a book upon the subject.”

Violet refuses to listen to anyone’s advice and is practically entranced by Gruner. I don’t know what magic powers this man has, because he told her about his past and she still wanted to be with him, but Sherlock believes he’s managed to brainwash Violet. Maybe Violet has a thing for Chinese pottery.

Sherlock visits Gruner, to try to convince him to break off the engagement, but it’s almost like Sherlock fell under the spell as well. 

[Sherlock] “He is an excellent antagonist, cool as ice, silky voiced and soothing as one of your fashionable consultants, and poisonous as a cobra. He has breeding in him–a real aristocrat of crime, with a superficial suggestion of afternoon tea and all the cruelty of the grave behind it. Yes, I am glad to have had my attention called to Baron Adelbert Gruner.” [Watson] “You say he was affable?” “A purring cat who thinks he sees prospective mice. Some people’s affability is more deadly than the violence of coarser souls.

Side note: Sherlock tends to talk this way about most of his opponents who, although he doesn’t like them, he still feels impressed by them. 

Unfortunately, he gets nowhere. 

‘I [Gruner] rather thought I should see you sooner or later, Mr. Holmes...My dear man,’ said he, ‘you will only ruin your own well-deserved reputation. It is not a case in which you can possibly succeed. You will have barren work, to say nothing of incurring some danger. Let me very strongly advise you to draw off at once.’ “ ‘It is curious,’ I answered, ‘but that was the very advice which I had intended to give you. I have a respect for your brains, Baron, and the little which I have seen of your personality has not lessened it. Let me put it to you as man to man... It would not be pleasant for you if these facts of your past were brought to her notice.’ “The Baron has little waxed tips of hair under his nose, like the short antennae of an insect. These quivered with amusement as he listened, and he finally broke into a gentle chuckle. “ ‘Excuse my amusement, Mr. Holmes,’ said he, ‘but it is really funny to see you trying to play a hand with no cards in it. I don’t think anyone could do it better, but it is rather pathetic, all the same. Not a colour card there, Mr. Holmes, nothing but the smallest of the small.’ “ ‘So you think.’ “ ‘So I know. Let me make the thing clear to you, for my own hand is so strong that I can afford to show it. I have been fortunate enough to win the entire affection of this lady... You have heard of post-hypnotic suggestion, Mr. Holmes? Well, you will see how it works, for a man of personality can use hypnotism without any vulgar passes or tomfoolery. So she is ready for you and, I have no doubt, would give you an appointment... “ ‘By the way, Mr. Holmes,’ said he, ‘did you know Le Brun, the French agent?’ “ ‘Yes,’ said I. “ ‘Do you know what befell him?’ “ ‘I heard that he was beaten by some Apaches in the Montmartre district and crippled for life.’ “ ‘Quite true, Mr. Holmes. By a curious coincidence he had been inquiring into my affairs only a week before. Don’t do it, Mr. Holmes; it’s not a lucky thing to do. Several have found that out. My last word to you is, go your own way and let me go mine.’ 

It was difficult to cut that down so I’m not posting massive extracts from the book, but Baron Gruner and Sherlock’s meeting was full of good dialogue that really emphasise how uncomfortable Gruner makes people. What is most scary about him is that there are real men like him who can gaslight women in to turning against their entire families and then hurting them. For a book written in the 19th century, it’s surprisingly revealing and isn’t at all like how Gruner could have been romantacised in other novels. 

Kitty Winters is another woman whom Gruner took advantage of, and she tells Sherlock about one of his books. 

“It’s a book he has–a brown leather book with a lock, and his arms in gold on the outside. I think he was a bit drunk that night, or he would not have shown it to me.” “What was it, then?” “I tell you, Mr. Holmes, this man collects women, and takes a pride in his collection, as some men collect moths or butterflies. He had it all in that book. Snapshot photographs, names, details, everything about them. It was a beastly book–a book no man, even if he had come from the gutter, could have put together. But it was Adelbert Gruner’s book all the same. ‘Souls I have ruined.’” 

Gruner literally hunted women for sport and then documented it, like their lives were just trophies. 

Watson later meets Gruner, and we get yet another lengthy description about how good-looking he is: even Watson can’t help himself. 

“He was certainly a remarkably handsome man. His European reputation for beauty was fully deserved. In figure he was not more than of middle size, but was built upon graceful and active lines. His face was swarthy, almost Oriental, with large, dark, languorous eyes which might easily hold an irresistible fascination for women. His hair and moustache were raven black, the latter short, pointed, and carefully waxed. His features were regular and pleasing, save only his straight, thin-lipped mouth. If ever I saw a murderer’s mouth it was there–a cruel, hard gash in the face, compressed, inexorable, and terrible. He was ill-advised to train his moustache away from it, for it was Nature’s danger-signal, set as a warning to his victims. His voice was engaging and his manners perfect. In age I should have put him at little over thirty, though his record afterwards showed that he was forty-two. “

But, this is all just a facade, as the end of the description says. 

Hate Gruner yet? Lucky enough for you, Kitty Winters gets revenge and throws acid in his face! His face basically melts off, and I’m not sure if he survives, but at least it’s the end to him hunting and destroying lives.