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snipsnsnailsnwerewolftales · 4 years ago

Text

Blue Moon - Part 1

A/N: See masterlist for prompts used. (And the list of amazing people who have helped me with this.)

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

Warnings: See Masterlist

Word count: 2,746

Xxx

“So what’s it like living with a Hale?” Stiles asked, turning away from your locker after you shut it. Both of you fell into step with Scott as you made your way to your next class.

You must have grimaced or made some face with a slight slant of your eyebrows only a Stilinski could read, because Stiles let out a snort. “That bad?”

You shrugged, sighing. “I mean, it’s not like I expected it to be a walk in the park, it is Derek Hale after all.” Scott chuckled with a gentle shake of his head, making you smile before you continued. “But I didn’t expect it to be this…. easy….. either.”

“Easy?” Scott questioned, making the same face you must have initially as Stiles let out another snort of laughter.

“Yeah, I mean, the first few days were awkward. If we weren’t training we weren’t doing anything. The man is silent, had no TV, or any of that-”

“Wait, ‘had’?” Stiles held out his hand, effectively cutting off your sentence and your steps, your shoes screeching on the floor at the sudden stop.

“Yes, had. He now has a TV, streaming services- yes, Stiles, services as in plural, if you keep your eyebrows that high they may stick that way, and it’s not the best look for you…”

“So at least there is something to fill the silence at least.” Scott resumed walking, you followed a few steps behind, Stiles lagging, jaw still dropped in shock.

“Well, yeah,” you agreed with Scott, and this time you felt your eyebrows making the face.

“But….?” Scott’s prodding was gentle, but his face held a smirk.

“But somewhere along the way we went from off handed comments during a news broadcast, or some show we were watching, to actually pausing it to have some discussion, or referencing some situation later and asking if the other had had something similar happen, or just opening up about random experiences and stuff. It’s…”

“Weird?” This time Stiles prodded, earning a glare and gentle whack on the arm from Scott.

“Well, maybe it’s because you’re…. new.” Scott opted for a more discrete word for ‘werewolf’ in the crowded hallways. “He may feel like opening up more because of the pack mentality and all.”

“No, it’s not because she’s…. new.” Stiles raised one eyebrow on the word as he addressed Scott, earning a sigh and eye roll from the young Beta. “The man is a brooding wall of leather and growls.” You chuckled at the description, making Stiles grin. “I think we finally found our miracle cure for our Sourwolf!”

“Woah, woah, woah, hold up.” You held up your hands as if to physically stop their words. “What?”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. We know you two like each other. It’s so obvious.” Stiles immediately closed his mouth, his lips a tight line, eyes wide and eyebrows in his hairline in his signature “I was not supposed to say that” face.

“What?” you deadpanned to your friend.

The bell rang, and Scott, wide eyed and smiling too broadly, gave Stiles a shove on the shoulder in the opposite direction of your next class as Stiles muttered, “Oh, look. The bell.” They both began to walk quickly the opposite way.

“Guys!” you yelled. “This is not over! But I am not responsible for you guys missing another class, what does that make, like fifteen already this semester?”

Your two friends stilled and turned on their heels, ushering past you quickly, avoiding your glare, Stiles looking at Scott and muttering, “See, Scott? I told you our class with Miss Blake was this way.”

“Ugh,” you mumbled under your breath. The sour expression stayed on your face even after you sat at your desk in the back of the class.

Chuckling, Stiles chanced a glance your way from beside you, hoping to change the subject from his ultimate fail in the hallway. “You still don’t like her?”

“I still don’t like her.” You overlapped his last few words, matching his gentle nod with one of your own as you stared straight ahead at the teacher’s still vacant desk.

“What is it about her you don’t like?”

“I just have a really bad feeling whenever I see her. Something just isn’t right.”

Scott chuckled, opening his book to the proper page. “You’re just mad that she gives you a little bit of a harder time.”

“You mean she gives me ‘more attention’?” you asked, your words rising to a ridiculous octave as they repeated Jennifer’s words she had used when she assigned you some extra credit to help raise your grade so you could stay on the lacrosse team. Your friends chuckled at your words. “I’m sorry, not everyone can be amazing at everything, being a wer-” you stopped yourself, clearing your throat before continuing- “new-” you looked at Scott pointedly, earning you a glare and Stiles’ laughter on your other side- “doesn’t allow for a whole lot of extra studying time.”

“Oh, come on, Y/N. I know you feel that way now, but it will pass,” Scott said with a smile as Miss Blake walked in, setting things on her desk, and he chuckled as you glared at her. “This is all ephemeral.”

You looked at Stiles, your face blank, voice a deadpan. “You ever buy him a word of the day subscription thing again, and I will rip your throat out.” You flickered your yellow eyes at him discreetly. “With my teeth.”

“With your teeth,” Stiles mumbled, overlapping your words, both of you nodding in agreement again. “I asked what it’s like living with a Hale, and now I got my answer.” He looked at you, shaking his head mockingly. “You’re becoming one of them. It’s contagious. We’ll call it ‘Sourwolf Syndrome’.”

Xxx

Due to your parents’ professions taking them all over the place constantly, like Allison, you were actually a year older than your friends, having to repeat a year a few grades back. But you wouldn’t change it for anything, because that’s how you met your best friends.

It helped that your parents were away on business most of the time, so no one questioned your staying at Derek’s loft for so long. You stopped by every few days to get the mail and check on the plants around the house, packing some new clothes if needed, Derek sitting outside in his car the first few times, but lately he had taken to coming in and helping you do the few things you had to do.

You told yourself it was just because of the increased threat that he wanted to be closer to his newest Beta. He didn’t have too many of those these days, you thought bitterly, smirking to yourself. You stared blankly as you rinsed out your coffee cup in the sink, and a wave of sadness washed over you as you thought of Erica, her absence still fresh and raw. The two of you had never really been close; just acquaintances at school, then pack members briefly, before she was gone.

Boyd had really withdrawn himself after that, and you didn’t blame him. You knew he probably felt how you did times ten. When Cora had been here briefly she mentioned losing a pack member was like losing a limb, and she hadn’t been wrong.

Then Derek had kicked both Cora and Isaac out of the loft, claiming it wasn’t safe with the Alpha Pack around. Isaac was staying with Scott, but you didn’t know where Cora had disappeared to. Peter was a wild card, so you didn’t even try to factor him in, and Scott outright refused to be a member of Derek’s pack. He was an Alpha with Beta eyes, and an enigma for another time.

The point was, Derek was running low in the Beta department lately.

The only reason Derek had you staying at the loft and followed you around the house when you had to go was because you were the newest, or so he said. Deep down you knew he just didn’t want to be responsible if something happened to you. He wanted to control the situation as much as possible which, you guessed, you were kind of glad, being new to this whole werewolf thing, and admittedly not wanting to stay home alone again, human or werewolf.

At least at the loft, even in the times before Derek brought home the TV and stuff, the silence had been comfortable. You’d never admit it to anyone, but just being in the presence of another living, breathing being, even one as brooding and somewhat annoying as Derek Hale, was nice.

And you sure as hell weren’t going to think about how he had helped you with your homework sometimes, especially with that English extra credit. He had a side he didn’t share often, and you were glad you got to see it. It was like a rare spotting of a mythological creature.

You smiled to yourself, watching the water in the cup filling clear now, the mug long clean, and you let your feelings wash away down the drain with the water as you turned it off.

Setting the mug in the sink, you took a deep breath, letting the feelings whirling around you fully roll off your back, rolling your shoulders back as they did.

Stepping into the doorway to the living room you saw him delicately watering some houseplant your mom babied. The first few times he had just poured water at its base, and you had to stop him, showing him how it had to be done, otherwise he’d over water it. And since then, though he had said initially that it was stupid under his breath, he took meticulous care to check if it even needed watering, and then watered it properly, like you showed him, even bringing books home to the loft about how to care for the various types of plants your mom had around the house. You found it endearing.

Smiling softly, you gently shook your head. One second you were bitter towards him, the next finding little things that made him amazing. “I’m going to go grab some clothes, my stuff got torn to hell last week when we dealt with what’s his face,” you said offhandedly, starting up the stairs. So many baddies came through this town, you got them all confused.

Derek chuckled. “Okay. You know you can always borrow some of my clothes if you need to.”

You stopped midstep on the staircase, each foot on a different step, and your grip on the bannister tightened, your knuckles turning white.

This.

This is why you had such conflicting emotions about this man. Wolf. Wolfman.

“Are you sure?” You kept your voice even, smiling softly.

He shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, makes more sense then driving all the way over here.” His voice tried to be neutral, but it was evident he was trying to cover up something he had let slip before really thinking about it.

“Thanks. I’ll remember that next time.” You nodded once to each other before you took two steps calmly and then practically ran up the rest of them to your room.

Holding a hand to your chest, taking deep breaths to try and stabilize your heartbeat, you slumped against the door after you closed it, sighing.

You tried not to over analyze what he said, but failed.

You knew he probably was making some underhanded comment about your abilities, “coming all the way over here”, really he wanted to say, “you suck at being a werewolf, you’re always getting hurt and your clothes destroyed in the process”.

“You too, wolfman. You too,” you mumbled under your breath as you angrily rifled through one of your drawers, grabbing a few things.

You chuckled a dark laugh. “But I’m an Alpha, Y/N. I’ll heal faster.” You mocked his deep tone, your search in your drawer turning into an aimless activity, the contents totally mixed up now.

He had never been around whenever you had gotten in a hit or takedown on the baddies you guys had encountered so far in your short time in this world. For some reasons you ended up on opposite sides of the battle fields, and he never said it directly, but you knew he probably thought you sucked. How else does one end up with torn shirts from claw marks and blood being covered by your jacket?

Everyone else had called you a badass, but Derek had yet to compliment or even comment on your fighting ability. But maybe, since he trained you, that spoke more to his ability and not yours, you thought with a smirk. Satisfied with the thought, you grabbed a few clothes out of the drawer before snapping it shut.

After a few steps toward the door, you slowed to a stop, absently staring at the clothes in your hand as your thoughts cleared a little from your earlier anger.

If it was a reflection on how he thought he was, that was kind of sad. Did he really think so lowly of himself and his abilities?

You had only been in this world a short time now, but even you had to admit he was a good Alpha. A good wolfm- werewolf. A good man. He was a great person to have at your back in a fight and in mundane things like math, which was also a fight, but that was a thought for another day. He was a good friend to have, period.

Shaking your head and chuckling gently at yourself, you wondered why your thoughts were everywhere. Glancing at your calendar on the wall, you saw the full moon was coming up soon and rolled your eyes. Of course.

This would pass. This was ephemeral. You groaned softly as you made your way back down the stairs. Stiles was going to pay.

Derek met your eyes when you made it to the last step, hopping the last few inches to the first floor. He set down the watering can softly.

“Do I really sound like that?” His lips twitched upward slightly.

Screwing up your face in confusion it took you a second to realize he had heard your mutterings as you disorganized the contents of your drawer upstairs. Realization crossed your face before your palm slapped to your forehead, the groan passing your lips before you could stop it.

Derek laughed, and you looked at him apologetically, to which he motioned with his hand as if waving it away and smiled at the floor where his gaze was focused. “Don’t worry about it. I just always thought my voice was deeper than that.”

He chuckled even more as you swatted his arm, laughing gently yourself. He grabbed your wrist playfully before you could withdraw your hand, and you found yourself pulled closer to him, almost toe to toe and having to crane your neck to look up and meet his eyes that looked down at you with some emotion you couldn’t decipher.

That comfortable silence hung around you two like a blanket… Until his phone rang.

As he fished it out of his pocket, you softly cleared your throat and took a small step back, feeling Derek’s gaze on you the whole time.

“Hello?” His voice was gruff and annoyed, and he was still staring at you. It almost seemed like he was upset at whoever was on the other end for interrupting his moment with you.

But that thought quickly evaporated.

“Jennifer!” He said it with a broad smile on his face, his voice a total about face from his greeting, and his eyes moving from you to the wall behind you.

It couldn’t be who you thought. There was no way. That would be too much of a coincidence.

“No, I’m not busy,” he said, turning to the door.

Grabbing his arm to stop him, he turned to look at you, eyebrows raised in question and, if you weren’t mistaken, slight annoyance.

“What?” he mouthed.

“Who is that?” you whispered.

“A friend,” he hissed.

“Who is it?” you hissed back at him.

“Your English teacher, Jennifer Blake.” He shrugged out of your grip and out your front door, motioning you to the car.

You seethed as you turned off the lights, grabbing your bag of clothes, and locking the door after you.

Reason number five hundred and sixty two to hate Miss Jennifer Blake.

Xxx

Tags: @mayahart02, @palaiasaurus64, @shydinosaurcandy, @lucyqueenofthestars, @c-breanne1999, @l4life, @ethereallysimple, @teenwolffan-with-nolife, @bellabadacadabra What’s This?

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op-sheepy · 4 years ago

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ok so I'm particularly interested in

Bellamy Law

Law and Bible stuff

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

shichibukai applications

reverse hanahaki disease (?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

if you feel like elaborating on any of these!

This is gonna get long and I actually contemplated posting them separately but would that have been more work? Yeah, that felt like more work so for anyone interested, check under the cut. :D

---------------------------------o

Bellamy Law

Hm… This would be an attempt to explore the parallels and contrasts between Bellamy and Law. I've always found it fascinating that the former was a foil to the latter.

They both come from well-off towns in the North Blue.

Bellamy left because of boredom. Law had no choice because Flevance.

Both ended up seeking Doflamingo because of his notoriety as a pirate. Both admired him initially

Doffy favored one over the other though. Bellamy always sought his approval but was never really part of the inner circle Doflamingo cared about.

Law got the dubious privilege of being part of the family despite being absent for so long. Even offered one of the highest seats by Doffy's side for seemingly nothing.

Law had no trouble turning his back on Doffy once he realized the man's nature. Bellamy tried to stick to his principles until the end despite admitting that he new he was wrong.

Bellamy can (and did) quit piracy after his ordeal with Doflamingo. Having the option to live peacefully, perhaps a return to his previous life (the one he considered boring). Law can't do that quite as easily what with his Devil fruit and his reputation.

I thought it would be interesting trying to explore what Bellamy was thinking. Did he hear the Donquixote Pirates talk about their missing 'family'? Did he get to see Doffy be amused at Law's rise as a Supernova while he kept being reminded of his own status? Did Law save Bellamy partially because he also saw what he could have been had Corazon not saved him?

On principle, Bellamy should have hated Trafalgar Law. Does. Bastard even saved him without him wanting it. But there was something about the shadows haunting those eyes and Bellamy started to wonder.

He had heard the family talk about Law before. The child personally taught by Doflamingo, chosen to be his right hand. Never was he compared to the man because Law was just obviously better. Smarter. Stronger. Bellamy was ever just an uncouth thug.

He was allowed to 'borrow' Doflamingo's symbol while Law had an empty seat waiting for his return–a seat Bellamy had wanted enough to risk everything for.

Maybe he had resented, Trafalgar Law for carelessly rejecting the things he had that Bellamy had always desired. In the end too, Trafalgar Law did prove to be better. He'd done as a child what Bellamy had trouble doing even as he was now.

But having been given the chance to observe the other man as they all recovered, he wondered, perhaps for the first time, whether despite Law being better than Bellamy, Bellamy had had it better–barring the poor life choices.

---------------------------------o

Law and Bible stuff

This is just me wanting to know how many biblical parallels and themes I can draw from Law, the Donquixote brothers, the characters associated with them, and his backstory. Honestly not sure whether this would become a fic and in what style or I'm gonna give up and just make it a post.

Not gonna elaborate on them much but here are the ideas in more bullet points (yay):

Law gets familiar with all four horsemen of the apocalypse: conquest, war, famine, and death. He even survives them.

Law is like the son in the parable of the prodigal son to the Donquixote pirates. Except the themes are inverted.

Doflamingo and Rocinante -> Cain and Abel

Ope Ope no Mi -> Granting eternal life by sacrificing one's own life

Gods descending or living among humans. Also, Homing and his family being prosecuted for other people's sins.

That scene where they were hanged by their arms outstretched looks like a crucifixion. Also, Rocinante was on the right while Doflamingo was on the left. Similar to how the penitent thief was on the right and the unrepentant one to the left.

Flevance being considered a paradise with walls/fences/gates and somewhere Law cannot return to.

In the panel where the Donquixote pirates are seated at the table, there were thirteen of them with Doffy at the center. Same as The Last Supper

There are a lot more of these (David and Goliath, Solomon, Jonah, Job, etc.) but I kinda lost the notes and some are more visual so I can't really explain it too well. This would is a drabble series to emphasize or highlight the parallels so no proper snippet for this one.

---------------------------------o

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

Originally an idea to get around most of the Heart Pirates being nameless but evolved to include other characters as kids. Chopper is a kindergarten teacher and he convinces Law to take over his class for a week because somehow Law has the qualifications to and free time. Naturally, he wasn't able to say no.

Unfortunately, despite not being terrible at handling children, Chopper's class is filled with menaces. Also, despite not being terrible, Law can still be awkward so...

"Mr. Trofao–fargar—"

"Trafalgar."

The kid—which one was this one again? Shit, he should really get them name plates or something—scrunched up his face and tried harder, "Tar-pal—"

"Law. Just call me Law."

"Mr. Low"—eh, close enough—"can I go to the bathroom?" Wide imploring eyes stared up at him.

"Sure, go ahead." Law gestured towards the exit of the classroom with his head.

The kid just stared expectantly at him and he tried to suppress the need to narrow his eyes.

"Is there… anything else?"

"Mr. Chopper always comes with me to hold my hand."

Really?

"Mr. Chopper isn't here. You should practice doing it on your own now." He said after a deep inhale.

"But the monsters might get me…"

"No, they won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Before the kid could open his mouth again to argue, he added, "Besides, children taste terrible so you're safe."

The kid looked stricken and took a step back from him. Uh oh. Glistening eyes, wobbling lower lip… "Alright! I'll go with you." The kid did not look reassured. In fact he looked like going alone with Law was the last thing he wanted to do. Guess, he kinda implied that he ate children didn't he? Oops.

Well, the kid needs to go and he's not going to be cleaning up after him if he wets himself.

Law glanced at the rest of the children. It was Arts and Craft time and they seemed preoccupied enough. Still, Law doubted Chopper ever left these kids alone–already he could see some of them glancing up at him, waiting for him to leave no doubt to cause trouble. That Monkey kid in particular looked extremely suspicious.

He stood up from his crouch and clapped twice to get everyone's attention.

"Alright. Fall in line. Single file."

There was some grumbling and questioning directed at him. "What's going on?"

Law shrugged. "You're all going to the bathroom."

---------------------------------o

Shichibukai Application Forms

Crackfic where the World Government and relevant parties review various Shichbukai Applications. Most submitted by the pirates applying themselves, some produced by their own staff. They discuss and debate. As well as judge pirate resumes.

She scanned the document. Terrible format, really. If you fail to impress within the first page, you've failed entirely. There just wasn't anyone promising enough in this batch of applications or any of the other ones before. The last one had been that clown. "Apprentice to the Pirate King," was a pretty hefty credential.

"Oh, how about this one? Three years experience pillaging, and they even listed all the towns they looted." One of the newly transferred administrative staff said.

"None of these are worth considering at all. You know, when Mihawk was asked to submit his application, he hadn't bothered with all of this. He just sent us a card with his name on it and the title "World's Strongest Swordsman," underneath."

The staff perked up. "Oh, there was an application like that." There was scramble and some shuffling before a plain white card was produced. "Here."

"'From Trafalgar Law'. What does this even mean?"

"Well, it did come with a big box..."

---------------------------------o

Reverse Hanahaki Disease

(?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

Haha. At first it was going to be that way (because it is hilarious) but the inflicted would probably choke to death too soon. Or if both enemies had it, they'd end up just coughing flowers at each other until they stopped being enemies.

The version I ended up going with was that this variant of Hanahaki, instead of afflicting those with unrequited love, affected those in denial instead. The reverse part comes from the original idea that this would usually happen if you somehow fell in love with your nemesis (someone you originally hated). So it's not the thought that the other person can't love you, it's that you can't accept that you love that other person. You get cured by confessing to the person sincerely.

This is actually another KidLaw (surprise!). And the flower coughed up directly represents the person they're in love with (I went with Oda's flower representation for them because I found it funny for plot)

So the idea is that, you get sick but you don't automatically know (maybe) who it is because that's part of being in denial. Kid and Law have many enemies after all. In this story they both get it though not exactly at the same time and not known to the other.

He survived Amber Lead Syndrome only to be killed off by a stupid flower disease that apparently knows more about his own feelings than he does.

He glared at the petals. Tulips. Red.

An image of a cocky grin and a shock of red hair flashed through his mind and—nope. That's not right.

He coughed harder, tears stinging his eyes with the effort. More flowers. Now he has enough for a bouquet.

Alright, he was a doctor. He could do this. Differential time.

First, which variant does he have. He doesn't particularly feel unloved or hopeless. There wasn't anyone he wanted in particular to love him. Ok, nothing. It was maybe safe to say he had that other variant.

Which was stupid because Law had many enemies and he hated all of them.

And cue the racking coughs. More red. He was very familiar with that particular shade.

New theory. This was a new variant that somehow makes you sick when you think of the person you hated the most.

Yes, that had to be it. He thought as he all but collapsed on the floor from the sudden paroxysm.

I knew this was gonna get long. :) Oh well...

Thank you for playing. :D

#One Piece #One piece fanfiction #wip game #trafalgar law #donquixote brothers #donquixote doflamingo #donquixote roci #donquixote homing #donquixote pirates #one piece bellamy #bellamy the hyena #eustass kid #kidlaw #trafalgar d water law

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lailyn · 4 years ago

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Take My Breath Away, Part 2

TW: Paralysis

Metro-General Hospital

“I think it’s Guillain-Barre syndrome.”

“Are you sure?” Christine asked in new-found anxiety. "Are you absolutely sure?"

“Of course I’m not,” Stephen said tersely. “I can’t be. But the clinical picture fits. He had the respiratory infection that was going around last week, and the tingling and weakness started today.”

For the hundredth time since he brought Loki in to the emergency room, fully paralysed from the waist down, he cursed himself. “I should have known something was up.”

How could he have missed the signs? The lingering weakness, the unsteady walking, the general malaise that was so out of character for Loki...all of them Stephen had simply put down to a post-viral infection fatigue, instead of something much more serious.

Life-threatening, a voice corrected.

“Don’t beat yourself up, Stephen. It’s not helping.” Ever the voice of reason, Christine was still the grounding force he had once relied on. “Focus on what’s important.”

“It’s progressing way too quickly,” Stephen said worriedly, staring through the observation window into the room where Loki was currently resting.

“He hasn’t consented to assisted ventilation?”

Stephen shook his head, visibly morose. “He hates the idea of being put to sleep.”

“He’s going to tire soon,” Christine warned. “We’re risking respiratory failure.”

“I brought in the big gun.”

Stephen nodded at the tall figure whose silhouette they could see pacing Loki’s room like a caged tiger. “Let’s hope Thor can knock some sense into his brother.”

***************************

“Brother, you are clearly struggling. Why are you giving the doctors a difficult time?”

Loki refused to answer. He was not wasting precious breath explaining his reasoning, unreasonable as it may be, to someone so adamant in his mission to subjugate Loki to the mercy of doctors, human doctors who knew nothing about his kind.

"Loki, we don't have much time."

"There is no 'we' here, Doctor Banner."

Loki turned his head slowly to the other figure in the far corner of the room.

Like a Shadow. Like Death. Just standing there waiting.

“There is no treatment. You said so yourself.” Loki closed his eyes. He did not wish to see Thor's expression. Also, the double vision was worsening. “They can do nothing."

“Human immunoglobulin therapy is incompatible, and we are risking anaphylaxis with artificial plasma exchange,” Bruce repeated the conversation he had with Stephen word for word. "But there's still something we can do to help you tide this over - "

"There is no tiding over anything," Loki said in frustration; if he had the strength, he would have ripped out the oxygen-delivering cannula from his nose. "What you are doing is merely prolonging the inevitable."

"Going on life support is not a death sentence, Loki," Bruce said, his voice hard.

"None of you can tell me with absolute certainty when you can take me off it," Loki rasped. "What was the 'ballpark' figure again? Weeks to month? No."

The outburst cost Loki energy he could not afford, and the harsh sounds of his gasps drowned the noises of the machines.

"Brother!" Stricken, Thor dropped into the chair and grasped Loki's shoulder. "Save your strength."

The wiry cords of muscles of Loki's normally slender neck bulged as the Asgardian struggled to pull air into his starving lungs, and Bruce could not help but stare. Soon, those muscles too, like the respiratory muscles in his thorax and diaphragm, would cease to function.

When one's own immune system attacks one's own nerves, the result is devastating, Stephen had said.

"I'm calling Strange," Bruce said.

“No, you are not,” Loki gasped. “I will not be put down like some kind of animal."

If Loki had seen the devastation in Stephen's eyes the moment Bruce told him they simply did not have enough of Loki's blood sequestered in storage for emergencies such as this, Loki would be singing a different tune.

"Stop being such an idiot," Bruce snapped. "Noone's putting you down, and you are not going to die. Get over yourself and snap out of it!"

Loki's sneer curled into a cruel, ugly smile. "Of course. I had no say in how I lived. How could I expect differently now that I am dying?"

"Loki," Thor growled warningly.

"What will you do, Brother?" Loki asked. "Take Mjolnir to my head? What will you do to force me to submit to you?"

Now that he was calmer, he could breathe easier.

Or perhaps, it was simply a momentary respite, a blessed, temporary relief before…

Before what?

Loki stared at the bright lights over his head and something in him died at the paradox of seeing something so glaring, so full of life, when the rest of his body from the neck down was shutting down.

"I wish to be alone."

***************************

"Any luck?" Stephen asked quietly.

He had pulled some strings and gotten Loki a private room, away from the public eye. It was good thinking on his part, for the expression on Thor and Bruce's faces as they stepped out of the room and into the hallway could only be described as murderous.

"There's no getting through to him," Bruce fumed. The physicist looked furious enough to punch a hole through the hospital wall, and for a precious moment, Stephen felt touched by the sentiment.

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "For trying."

Bruce pulled off his glasses and massaged his eyes. "So what do we do now? Just wait till he passes out and then stick a tube down his throat?"

"Christine would never agree to that."

"Surely you can do it?" Thor asked.

"Physically, sure. Medicolegally? Ethically?" Stephen shook his head. "And I would never do that to Loki."

"Can't you make this immunogoblin thing? The one that you said wasn't compatible?" Thor pleaded.

"IV immunoglobulin's derived from a large pool of plasma collected from thousands of blood donors, Thor," Bruce said glumly. "There's only one of him."

"But we've started saving Loki's blood, have we not?" Thor pressed. "Can't you two work with that?"

"Even if we had the resources to isolate and autotransfuse Loki with his own immunoglobulins, it will not be enough," Stephen said quietly. "And the treatment is only helpful in lessening the severity of the disease."

"You don't mean…" Thor could not bring himself to complete his sentence.

"There is no known cure for Guillain Barre syndrome."

Thor's jaw gave an abrupt click, before his broad shoulders squared a split-second later. "Then I go to Jotunnheim."

Bruce's head whipped up, and together, the two humans stared at the God of Thunder like he had gone mad.

"Quill can take me. We're good friends and he has a strong, sturdy ship." Thor's chest swelled in sheer determination. "We set course for Jotunnheim and I will come back with what you need."

Stephen fought to hold on to the last shred of composure, to keep his voice steady, "Loki will not last the night."

Thor turned as white as a sheet and began to shake.

"For Norns' sake, Man, will you not do something?"

The tears brewing in the stormy blue eyes was all the motivation Stephen needed; with a determined nod, he pushed Loki's door open and stepped inside.

***************************

Stephen watched Loki's chest rise and fall, shallow and laboriously slow.

"I do not fear going to sleep," Loki finally spoke when he could no longer stand the deafening silence.

"Then what is it?" Stephen begged. "What's got you so scared that you won't even try?"

"I fear coming out of it."

"What?"

Loki's lips wobbled. "I heard what your Christine said, about the possibility of permanent damage."

"Loki, we don't know anything about any of that."

But Loki was not listening, so consumed was he by his delusion. "I fear coming back a cripple. A degenerate."

Stephen could only stare at him, stunned.

"I was broken when I came to you," Loki said quietly. "I cannot come back broken. Not again."

"You would rather die for fear of something you think's going to happen? Something unknown?" Stephen asked incredulously, the betrayal blatant in his eyes and bitter on his tongue.

"Then tell me something," Loki said softly. "Tell me that something unknown."

"When we first met..." Stephen's thumb danced across the back of Loki's insensate hand. To think that Loki could not feel him anymore, it hurt him beyond reason.

"You asked me how this was all going to end, for us," Stephen recalled. "Do you remember?"

"What about it?" Loki asked, his voice hollow.

"This is not it," Stephen said, gripping Loki's hand firmly. "This is not how it ends."

Loki's eyes brimmed with tears. "Tell me how."

"I see you and me at the far edge of the world ." Stephen kissed Loki's eyelids, one after the other. "Standing shoulder to shoulder, just us."

"Standing?" Loki echoed breathlessly.

Stephen nodded, and his own tears landed on the bed, darkening it in places. "At the altar too."

Loki let out a sob.

"I love you, Loki." A hand grasped the side of his face tenderly. "Whole, broken, I don't care. I just love you."

"As do I," Loki wept silently. It was getting harder and harder to breathe, what with the invisible weight on his chest. "So very much."

Stephen kissed his mouth fiercely, long, hard and desperate.

"So you gotta do this for me. For us." Stephen's forehead felt hot against his. "Okay?"

"Okay." Loki breathed in as deeply as his constricted chest would allow, committing what he could of Stephen's scent to memory. "Okay."

In a matter of minutes, Loki found himself staring up into a pair of hazel eyes, familiar in their kindness, comforting in their confidence.

"We will take good care of you, Prince Loki," Doctor Christine Palmer smiled reassuringly. "Don't you worry about a thing."

She nodded at someone Loki could not see, and a mask was placed over his face. A sweet-smelling gas began to fill his mouth and Loki coughed weakly.

"Shhh." A hand he knew very well caressed the top of his head. "Sleep, Brother."

Loki's vision blurred. Shadows merged into swaths of colours, of bright blues and greys.

Stephen.

His tears ran freely down the sides of his face but he could no longer feel them.

He was floating, and there was no one there where he was going.

Then he heard a whisper in his ear, "I'll be here when you wake."

There you are, Loki thought, and everything went black.

#loki whump #sick loki #ask #fic #strangefrost #take my breath away

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batskulldrag · 5 years ago

Text

Phoenix by Fallout Boy

Chapter Ten: Ready Aim Fire by Imagine Dragons

once more I will state that I have no OC’. s everyone is either a youtuber or a character from 2017′s dream daddy. I will ask that you check out Jenna Marbles’ video ‘making corn on the cob but instead of the corn bone it’s a hotdog’ it’s not nessarry, but it is funny.

Patton squeezed Logan’s hand as he looked around the room. It was nice, it looked like every kid’s dream room. But the idea of being evaluated was crushing the air out of his lungs. Granted, E. S. had suggested a psych evaluation for them to boost their chances in court, and he did want some parenting advice. So, there they were in Picani’s office, waiting.

He stole a glance at Logan. His husband’s once stoic expression now a thin veil to mask resentment. Patton could almost see every memory of every doctor he was dragged to so his parents could cure him. Logan squeezed the arm rest until his knuckles were white and the bones threatened to pop out.

“It’s ok.” Patton rubbed his shoulder gently. “This time is going to be different. No one wants to cure you. We’re just gonna talk to him. There’s nothing wrong with you. Remember that.”

Logan silently slid his arm around Patton and held him close. Patton rested his head on Logan’s shoulder and listened to his heartbeat. It was slowing down and his own heart started mimicking the calmer rhythm.

The door opened and a cheerful man with curly blond hair and a tan cardigan danced in vocalizing the Loony Toon’s theme song. Ok, so Picani was definitely not a stuffed shirt. This would be nice.

“So, you’re Patton and Logan.” Emile smiled. “We met a few times before.”

“Virgil’s doing a lot better.” Patton chirped. “They’re taking the bandages off soon.”

“That’s good. Has he adjusted any since last week?”

“A little. He’s not as skittish.” Patton smiled. “I’ve been taking him to work with me since I had to go back to the library.”

“That should be a good way to keep his mind off things.” Emile pondered. “Maybe they’ll let him volunteer there. It’s good to keep busy.”

“Today, he read to the kids.” Logan added. “I think some interaction with people closer to his peer group is doing him good.”

“That is awesome news.” Emile smiled and put his hands together. “But now I think it’s time to talk about you two. ‘Sup?’”

“Our lawyer said that it would help us if we had psychological evaluations.” Logan responded. “We all suspect that Payton might try to use certain things against us.”

“Such as…” Emile led.

“For starters I have Asperger’s syndrome. One might argue that it would make me unfit to raise a child.”

“The usual ‘they can’t feel empathy’ song and dance?”

“No, there hasn’t been any singing.”

“It’s a metaphor sweetie.” Patton rubbed his hand.

“Oh.” Logan looked away. “Right.”

“So, where on the spectrum are you?” Emile asked. “You seem really high functioning.”

“I am high functioning. Mainly, I can’t read emotions, I don’t understand metaphors or sarcasm, flashing lights give me migraines, I have a noise sensitivity and I get intensely nervous around people. And I don’t like most sweet foods. They hurt my mouth.”

“How about routines?” Emile continued.

“I have routines, but I don’t impose them on other people. I like to stick to a schedule; to do things in a certain order. But I don’t have an episode if the schedule is disrupted.”

“What normally triggers one?”

“Usually things build up. My most recent episode was a two weeks ago when Roman and I were trying to build a futon without instructions.”

“Why without instructions?”

“They were lost long ago. It was maddening.”

“That.” Emile pointed at them. “Would drive anyone crazy. So, I don’t really see any reason why you can’t adopt Virgil with Patton. Asperger’s isn’t exactly the life ruining hinderance that everyone thinks it is.”

Patton nuzzled up to Logan.

“See. It’s fine.”

Emile smiled at them.

“It’s nice to see a happy couple in here.” He sighed. “I do a lot of couple’s therapy.”

“Logan and I are happy.” Patton confirmed. “We’re almost to out ten-year anniversary.”

“That’s quite the milestone. How’d you two meet?” he leaned forward.

“I had to go to him for tutoring, and we just clicked. Logan proposed while we were in college and we’ve been inseparable ever since.”

“We were more or less inseparable before that.” Logan interjected. “I just decided to make it official.”

“You’re a Garnet.” Emile clasped his hands to his heart.

“Like from Steven Universe?” Patton asked excitedly.

“Exactly, you two have found your balance and have a solid relationship.”

“That is fair.” Logan looked up. “Most of our arguments did consist of the fact that I can be stoic, and Patton can be over passionate. Exactly like Ruby and Sapphire.”

“That is awesome.” Emile smiled. “And having a stable marriage is usually important if you want to adopt.”

Patton squeezed Logan’s hand and beamed up at him from his shoulder. Logan returned a smile.

“So, what other things are on your minds?” Emile pointed his folded hands at them. “We’re in the judgement free zone here.”

“Well,” Patton rubbed his arm and looked at Logan. “I was on antidepressants for a while after my mom died. And I kind of still am on the medication. I was really out of it.”

“How old were you when she passed away?”

“I had to be about nineteen or twenty.”

“What happened to her?” He asked gently.

“She had ALS.” Patton looked at the floor to hide his tears, why was he still crying after all these years? “She lasted eight months.”

Eight months? That was it? He could have sworn that it was longer.

“I’m so sorry to hear that.” He handed them a box of tissues.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know I still did this.” Patton dabbed his eyes. “It’s been twelve years.”

“If they put you on antidepressants that means that it must have hit you pretty hard. Watching family die, especially from something that awful can really take its toll. There’s nothing wrong with how you feel, or how long you feel it. And moms are important, losing one is a blow no matter how old they are.”

“It hit me really hard.” Patton pressed himself into Logan, who started petting his hair. “I was sleepwalking, one night I woke up in the parking lot of the hospital because I thought I was taking mom to the doctor. I used to do the dishes in my sleep.”

“Was it just you, taking care of her?” Emile squinted. “What about your brother?”

“Payton was in college too. He didn’t want anything to do with it.” Logan answered, still petting Patton.

“I told you I get why he didn’t want to be there.”

“Don’t make excuses for him, you know that’s not why he avoided the house.”

“Hey, don’t unfuse over this.” Emile offered hesitantly.

“Logan and Roman helped a lot during all that. With Mom and Virgil.”

“Virgil was with you?”

“He was just a baby. Mom was diagnosed a few months before his first birthday.”

“And Payton left him with you? Just like that? Just like Pink leaving Spinel in the garden?”

“If Payton was a good father, we wouldn’t be here.” Patton pulled out another tissue. “I don’t wanna talk about my brother.”

“Alright, we’ll just zap those thoughts with the memory eraser.” Emile pretended to zap himself with a ray gun. “Go on with your story.”

“Well, I still walked in my sleep even after mom died. And I lost my appetite and I lost interest in my job and all my classes. It was like I was dead. I went numb.”

“Do you know why?”

“I…” Patton clenched his fists against his knees. “I was relieved when she died, and I couldn’t handle feeling like that. Am I a terrible person?”

“That’s a normal reaction.” Emile said plainly. He said it as if it were a fact that he just knew. Like there was no doubt about its validity.

“What?” Patton looked up at him reeling from the whiplash that comment gave him.

“Your mother, someone you loved died in front of you. And you already said that it took a long time. Anyone would be relieved for that to be over. Like when they bubbled the cluster, they were relieved that the shards weren’t suffering anymore. And that’s normal. That, and the stress it was putting on you was over, and I know you think that sounds awful but it’s natural to be relieved. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”

“No?”

“No.”

Patton nestled closer to Logan. Logan hid it well, but Patton knew that he had just been vindicated and was thrilled. Patton accepted defeat contentedly and with guilt free relief.

“Logan was there the whole time.” Patton sighed. “All through it. He even got me to go to therapy.”

“Was Logan living with you at the time?” Emile asked. “There’s nothing wrong with that, Ruby and Sapphire were fused for a few thousand years before they got married. I was just wondering if he moved in to help with your mom.”

“My parents threw me out of the house after they found out I was gay.” Logan said blankly, but he was squeezing the couch arm again. His bones turned back up to say hello. “After they.” He sighed. “After they beat me severely.”

“Oh.” Emile said sadly. “I’m so sorry. Were they always like that?”

“The statistics of autistic children who are abused by their parents would break you.” Logan looked up at the ceiling.

“Yes then?”

“Yes.”

“Did you ever get help after you left your parents?”

“Yes, I’ve worked through my issues with them. And I don’t plan on letting them back into my life any time soon.”

“That’s fair.” Emile nodded. “They sound like a toxic influence.”

“I will consider forgiving them if they apologize.” Logan still looked at the ceiling. “And on no other conditions do I hold them any loyalty.”

“Well, last thing you need is your own abusive parents showing up when you’re trying to adopt.” Emile agreed. “And you shouldn’t forgive people who are going to continue to be a bad influence on your life.”

“I thought there was going to be more, I don’t know,” Logan looked back down. “More appeals for us to change our ways. Some form of judgement or a quote unquote cure.”

“Nah, you guys are good.” Emile smiled. “You can keep up therapy if you just wanna talk, but I don’t really have anything new to tell you.”

“This is it?” Logan gestured vaguely at the room.

“You’ve been on that couch before, haven’t you?”

“My parents wanted a cure. I’ve seen psychologists, psychiatrists, doctors, holistic physicians, herb peddlers, and a neurosurgeon.”

“Wow,” Emile nodded. “That is one expensive wild goose chase. How do you feel about your Asperger’s now?”

“It’s a part of who I am. It took me a long time to realize it wasn’t a horrible disease. And my parents dragging me to a new doctor every week didn’t help. They didn’t help.”

Patton put his arms around him and just hung there silently.

“Is any of this going to keep us from getting custody of Virgil?” Logan sighed.

“Well, your parents being abusive could bring up a ‘cycle of abuse’ argument, but I don’t think it’ll go anywhere. Aside from that, Asperger’s and situational depression shouldn’t stop you. Neither of you are violent or incapable of taking care of yourselves or a child. And you’ve already done a great job with Virgil so far. You’re made of love, and it’s stronger than him.”

“I wanna introduce you to our roommate sometime.” Patton said happily. “I think you’d be friends.”

# # #

The day of the barbeque rolled around and Patton, Logan and Roman were eagerly getting ready.

“Let’s see him one-up this.” Roman said sternly, holding up a watermelon sculpture.

The rind had been picked clean and gently sculpted into a frog with melon balls filling up his body and coming out of his mouth. Impressive was an understatement.

“Right.” Logan sighed. “Remember what I said about competing with Brian. Leave Virgil out of it. He’s had enough pressure in his life as it is.”

“I would never do anything to hurt our emo nightmare.” Roman was dead serious. “From now on Brian has to step to me. And anyone who wants our emo has to step to me as well.”

“And me.” Patton clenched his fist.

“We’re doing Lord of The Rings now?” Logan was not amused. “And me.”

With that said a loud thud came from upstairs. All three of them had the same thought and ran upstairs. Reaching the door first, Logan knocked. But Patton had different ideas and burst into the room like a firefighter. Virgil was pulling himself off the floor with his jeans tangled up around his ankles and his cast shoved through one of the holes in the knee. The shock of Patton and Co’s sudden arrival knocked him back down.

“Can I help you?” Virgil asked flatly, pulling his t-shirt down over his boxers.

“Sorry,” Patton backed out of the room quickly. “We heard you fall and wanted to make sure you were ok.”

“I’m ok. My stupid cast got stuck is all.”

“Do you need help?”

“Nope, I’m good.”

“Ok, we’re ready as soon as you are.”

“Cool, just let me get my pants on.”

“Ok.” Patton closed the door and turned to the other two. “Am I a helicopter parent?”

“No, I don’t think so.” Logan squinted as he thought. “Just be sure of boundaries. Don’t make a habit of bursting into his room. That is his space, and we want him to know we won’t violate it.”

“And I want you to know that it isn’t soundproof.” Virgil opened the door and walked out, smiling at his own joke.

# # #

Patton had his arm around Virgil the entire walk over. Admittedly, Virgil was happy both for the attention and the extra help walking. He wasn’t quite used to this walking cast, and he was still upset that he couldn’t keep the painted one. Sure, it smelled like an old band aid that crawled out of a sewer full of dead possums, but it was still cool on the outside. Maybe they could paint this one.

Patton led him over to the food table and gingerly set down a tray of peanut blossoms. He pulled two off the plate with a flourish, handed one to Virgil and kept the other.

“Clinkies.” He beamed, holding his cookie to Virgil’s.

“Clinkies.” Virgil agreed, tapping the cookies together and shoving his entire cookie in his mouth.

Roman set his melon frog down on the table and whispered to it.

“Ok melon frog, this is what you trained for. This is your time. You don’t be scared. I trained you better than that. I love you, melon frog.”

“You two need a moment alone?” Virgil smiled.

“No.” Roman turned quickly, holding his forearm to his forehead. “it’s better this way. Long goodbyes would only make me weep.”

“Dude, extra is a word they made up just so they could describe you.”

“It is.” Roman ruffled his hair. Were they all just going to do that from now on?

“Jenna!” Patton yipped, holding out his arms.

A short woman with blond hair that showed dark brown at the roots ran over and hugged him. Two Italian grey hounds were at her heels keeping up surprisingly well. Virgil lost all interest in people and sat down to play with the dogs. They immediately started licking him and climbing him for food.

“Where were you, beech?” Jenna asked. “I haven’t seen you in forever.”

“Family stuff.” Patton smiled and tiled his head towards Virgil. He turned his attention. “Virgil, this is our friend Jenna.”

“Hi, I love your dogs.” Virgil chirped, strangely comforted by the mini dogs who were stomping the hell out of his every lower extremity.

In response the grey dog started whining as if he were being tortured.

“I didn’t do anything!” Virgil panicked.

“Kermit, shut up.” Jenna scolded her dog, “He just does that.” She dismissed.

Patton looked around with a look of concerned horror.

“No Marble?” He said fearfully.

“What? Beech am I mourning?” Jenna pointed to herself. “No, Marble is inside. He didn’t want to come out and mingle.”

“What’s this one’s name?” Virgil asked, giving the tan doggo vigorous scratches as she wagged her tail at a mile a minute.

“That one’s Peach-y girl.” Jenna baby talked at the dog, who somehow wagged her tail faster.

Peach bolted off his lap, ran in a wide, happy circle and trampled back onto him.

“So, how do you like the neighborhood so far?” Jenna asked.

“It’s nice.” Virgil moved his head to keep Peach from licking the inside of his mouth. “I haven’t met too many people though.”

“Well.” She gestured at the crowded yard. “That’s gonna change.”

Jenna darted off to greet more guests and the dogs followed her. Darn. Virgil looked around tensely. There were a lot of people. Did they know? Were they going to bring it up? Were they going to ask? Were they going to take sides? Whose side would they be on?

Slowly it became reality that he couldn’t just sit here until someone needed a prop and then just go back to his seat. What was he supposed to do? How did people act at things like this? He’d never been to anything so casual. Was he supposed to play with the other kids? Talk to the adults? Eat? Was he supposed to eat? Was it time to eat? Where were the dogs? Where was Patton? Where was he?

“Ok kiddo,” Patton, it was really Patton, he was back. “Jenna and Julian are vegans, so there’s a lot of vegetables. But they’re good. Both of them are awesome cooks.”

Patton set a paper plate full of food on his lap and sat down next to him.

“She didn’t say she was a vegan while I was talking to her.” Virgil looked for Jenna in the crowd.

“They’re not preachy about it.”

“Cool.”

“And plenty of other people brought meat.”

Virgil took a bite of what he thought was pulled pork and spit it out immediately.

“Is this?” He rubbed the seasoning off and saw that it was yellow. “This is a banana peel!”

“What?” Patton took a taste and grimaced. “That is! Barbra must have brought it.”

“Is she a raccoon?”

“Wait here.” Patton stood up and walked over to the ‘pulled pork’ dish.

He looked around and quickly set the dish on the grass. He made a few beckoning gestures and a mastiff ran at him and started inhaling the banana abomination. He pet the bear sized creature contentedly and strolled back to their spot.

Having run out of food, Bear Dog lumbered over to them. Virgil tried to react in time but before he could, Bear Dog had his entire plate in its mouth. Plate and all, it ate everything.

“Countess, no.” Patton ordered. “That wasn’t for you!”

Countess smacked her lips and started licking Virgil’s face. He silently accepted that he would die by dog smothering and decided that was indeed how he wanted to go.

“No.” Logan showed up out of nowhere and tried to nervously shoo the dog away. “No, shoo. Get away from him.”

“I’m ok Uncle Logan.” Virgil wrapped his arms around the dog’s neck.

Logan stared anxiously. His every muscle was tensed at the dog’s presence.

So, Uncle Logan is afraid of dogs. I wonder why.

“OK friend.” Virgil ruffled the dog’s fur. “Go play with someone else! Go play!”

Countess zoomed away, no doubt measuring on the Richter scale. She would cause tidal waves in her wake. Tidal waves of drool.

“I’ll get you a new plate.” Patton pushed himself off the ground. He paused and suddenly lit up. “Dodie!” He waved happily in someone’s direction. “Come meet the baby!”

“Does he mean me?” Virgil looked to Logan for help.

“I believe you’re about to experience an equivalent to women passing a newborn around for everyone to hold.” Logan raised an eyebrow. “Patton is very excited.”

Patton scampered over with the tiniest morsel of a woman. This girl, who Virgil assumed was an adult had long brown hair and a young face. She could probably fit in a backpack.

“This is Virgil.” Patton gestured eagerly. “Virgil, this is our friend, Dodie.”

“Hello.” She chirped with an equally tiny voice nestled in an English accent.

“Hi.” Virgil looked between the three adults.

“I trust you’re adjusting to all the Patton hugs?” Dodie smiled. “It’s sometimes hard if you don’t like cuddles.”

“I’m getting used to it.” Virgil smiled back. There was no way she’d hurt him, right?

“Who doesn’t like cuddles?” Patton asked in surprise. “Cuddles are the best!”

Dodie and Logan both laughed.

“Virgil, they’re laughing at me.” Patton protested. “They’re making fun of my Patton-ted hugs.”

“Did you just make a pun with your name?” Logan sighed.

“Yeppers. You deserve a Patton the back for guessing that one.”

“This is what my life has become.” Logan rubbed his temples.

“Your name is a pun, Logan.” Patton put a hand on his shoulder.

“Falsehood.” Logan snapped quickly.

“It’s true honey, your name is Logan Berry. Like loganberries.”

“I may scream.”

“But can’t.” Patton added. “Your volume is too low-gun.”

“You’re dead to me.”

“I love you.” Patton wrapped his arms around him.

Logan sighed and grabbed one of Patton’s hands.

“Why are you like this?” Logan looked back at him.

“God owed me a favor.” Patton pressed his cheek to Logan’s.

Virgil couldn’t help but laugh at that. The sheer amount of confidence in that phrase was a power move for the ages. No one could top that.

“You call yourself a catholic.” Logan said harshly.

“No, I call myself Patton.”

“That one’s on me.”

“Uncle Patton never said he was catholic.” Virgil looked up at them.

Could this be it? The explanation. Could a stern religious upbringing have warped his father into a cruel person? And could that same life have also turned Patton into a soft puppy dog of a person?

“Yeah, we were raised catholic.” Patton shrugged. “But mom was never too strict with it. She even ended up getting divorced, so, I guess we weren’t that religious. We didn’t even eat fish that often.”

Virgil deflated. The explanation that he wanted, that he needed. The explanation that he deserved! Once again, it had slipped through his fingers. He saw red for a second. What made a monster? What made his father? Had a loving, supportive home really churned out that bastard? What the hell happened? It didn’t fit!

He looked up at his uncles. Logan had come from the sort of home that Payton described to his voters, and he was a stand-up guy. Happily married despite his homophobic parents and willing to pull some strange kid off the streets and let him live in his house. And all in all, Logan would be a great dad. Were Logan and Payton just products of their environments in a different way? Did each of them just choose to defy their own upbringing? What made Payton decide to turn the other way? Hell, for that matter what made Logan?

“Virgil, we can get you a chair if you don’t want to sit on the grass.” Logan shattered his concentration.

“I’m good.” Virgil answered once the shock wore off.

This! This is exactly what I am talking about!

“Here you go.” Patton put another paper plate in his hands and kissed him on the forehead. “And this is for you, not the puppers.”

“I tried to keep it away from her.” Virgil took the plate. “She was just too fast.”

“I know.” Patton ruffled his hair. “Once you’ve eaten why don’t you go introduce yourself to the other kiddos? Maybe you can make some friends.”

“Sure.” Virgil shoved an entire brownie in his mouth. For some ungodly reason it was spicy.

Now beginning to think that no one in this cul-de-sac could cook, and not wanting to look rude Virgil swallowed the brownie. His eyes watered and his mouth tasted like a used napkin from an Italian restaurant. He ran his tongue across his teeth and found what was left of dried leaves stuck to his gums. He spat them out on the grass.

Virgil glanced up at Patton, who also had a brownie. Maybe it was just him, maybe he just didn’t like sweets. He observed Patton intensely. Patton took a bite out of his pastry and a look of confused disappointment swept over his face. He reluctantly swallowed and set the remaining brownie on the grass.

“I think someone put oregano in those.” Patton coughed.

“Barbra again?” Logan questioned.

“No, she doesn’t use sugar.” Patton rubbed his chin. “Let’s search out the culprit.”

“Sure, why not?” Logan shrugged.

“Ok, Virgil, if you need us, we’ll be nearby.” Patton patted him on the head.

“I didn’t think you were gonna abandon me.”

“Ok, just yell for us or Roman if you need us.”

“Cool.” Virgil chanced a corncob. Surely plain vegetables couldn’t surprise him.

There was a hotdog in it.

As soon as his uncles were out of sight Virgil set his plate on the ground. The dogs could have it. Desperately confused, he lay down on his side and thought. The pork was a banana peel, the brownies were made with oregano and the corn, which he couldn’t for the life of him figure out how, had a hotdog in the center instead of a corn cob.

“If this is weird, I swear to god…” Virgil picked up one of Roman’s watermelon balls.

Sweet rapture, it was just watermelon. He all but wept tears of relief. And had his foot not been in a cast he would have danced.

“So,” A disinterested voice interrupted him. “You’re the new kid.”

Virgil looked up and saw the single coolest person in the known universe. There before him was a man of about thirteen clad in baggy jeans that were held up by one belt and adorned with two more. A chain hung from one belt that trailed down into his pocket. He wore a legion of black rubber and leather bracelets that accented his MSI t-shirt. His judgmental look was emphasized by two eyebrow piercings and three small hoop earrings in his ear cartilage. He tilted his head to show off the half-shaved half long look his dyed grey hair had been styled in. It was notably uneven, he must have done it himself. What a legend.

“Maybe.” Virgil tried to play it cool as he wiped watermelon juice off his chin. “I’m new here, but in other places I’ve live many lifetimes.”

“Cool.” The legend accepted him. This was a glorious day. “My dad wanted me to introduce myself to you.”

Man, doesn’t that just figure? I should’ve known that this icon wouldn’t just talk to me for the hell of it.

“Cool, I’m Virgil.” He tried to sound like he wasn’t drooling over this guy’s look. “I’m named after hell’s tour guide.”

“I’m Lucian.” He bested him with a way cooler name. “So, you’re living with Patton and Logan?”

Wait, I can just call adults by their first names?

“Yeah, they’re cool.”

I think.

Lucian scoffed. Evidently Patton and Logan weren’t cool. Virgil looked around a single idea was creeping up on him. And that was the idea that this dude may be here to torture him. He looked around for Patton, maybe he was within earshot. But if he yelled for Patton he’d be ‘that kid’ and so far, that was one of the few things he hadn’t been yet.

No, mostly he was just that idiot who still wet the bed, and wasn’t that so fucking funny? He had also had a few panic attacks, one on stage. There weren’t many people in his corner.

“Anyway…” Virgil said awkwardly, still trying to gauge if this guy wanted to attack him or not. “Are there any other cool guys here or is it just you?”

“I’m pretty much the only cool guy in the neighborhood. And, like the only other dude.”

At that Virgil looked around the yard. Lucian was right, most of the people had daughters. From the looks of things, they were they only guys there. Another observation was that a lot of the parents seemed to be single. That or they were all in gay relationships like his uncles were. Was this a gay community? A gay-borhood?

“Wanna see my scars?” Virgil offered blankly.

“Sure.” Lucian seemed taken aback.

Virgil’s hands weren’t in as bad shape as before. But they were still messed up. The skin had stiffened up, making it difficult to open and close his hands still. And his palms currently looked like melted plastic with massive blisters jutting up out of them. He had band aids on both thumbs and his left index finger to cover up the missing nails. And finally, there was a very faint ribbing pattern in the center of his palms. Left over from the desk lamp he had tried to bust his window with.

Lucian stared at his hands with a dismayed look of revolution and terror.

“Geeze dude.” He gagged. “How long were you trapped in there?”

“I don’t know. I left my stopwatch behind.” Virgil shrugged.

Lucian gave a respectful scoff at the joke.

“So, do a lot of people know about the…” Virgil struggled to do air quotes. “Fire?”

“Yeah, my dad told me. Then he told me not to bring it up. I mean, like, why tell me if I have to act like I don’t know?”

Virgil chewed on one of his bandages, he was debating running away from this conversation. The god of coolness knew that he used to be his dad’s punching bag and that wasn’t exactly ideal. He’d prefer for that not to have happened. Fight or flight was kicking in, but he couldn’t exactly fight a topic.

“Whatever.” He tried to play it off. “So, do you go to school nearby?”

“Yeah.”

Ok, let’s try something that will get me a better answer.

“Did you eat any of the food yet?”

“No.”

“Ok, because it’s all not what it’s supposed to be.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucian squinted.

“It means I ate corn of the cob and found a hotdog in it.” Virgil held up the offending vegetable as proof. “Exhibit A.”

“What the fuck?” Lucian snatched it away and looked at it closely. “What the hell? There’s a hot dog in here! How? Why? The fuck?”

“I know right? And there was pulled pork that turned out to be a banana peel, and someone made brownies with oregano in them.”

“Geeze, these cookouts get weirder every time.” Lucian sneered.

“Do you have a lot of these around here?”

“Sure, Jenna and Julian love to do weird things like this. And Brain is always ready to show off. And my dad likes to throw dinner parties.” He made a face and did air quotes. “Like the Victorians.”

“Well, I guess I have to socialize now.” Virgil sighed.

Speaking of that particular hell, Roman emerged out of nowhere with a tall, dark woman in tow. Roman’s friend had waist length hair that flowed down her back like liquid ebony and walked with an air of confidence that almost rivaled him.

“Hi Virgil.” Roman greeted happily. “I see you’ve met Lucian.”

“I have.” Virgil nodded. In his past life this would be the point where he was forbidden to talk to this guy under whatever pretext.

“That’s nice. We all figured you two would get along.” Roman beamed and gestured towards his guest. “This is our friend Lily.”

“What’s up?” Lily asked excitedly.

“Uhh… we were talking about food?” Virgil looked at the grass, intimidated by this massive presence.

“You shouldn’t talk about the food behind its back like that.” Lily answered. “You have to insult it to its face.”

Virgil looked at Roman for help. Roman just smiled at him. But Lily saw him and laughed.

“I’m just teasing.” She waved a hand dismissively. “I’m just here to observe how deep Patton and Logan’s betrayal runs.”

“What?” Virgil sunk into himself.

“Now that they’re adopting, every single person and childless couple is gonna get twice the flack about…” She did a higher voice. “Settling down and starting a family.” She returned to her normal voice. “When ya girl wants to do that, she will. And it is none of your business. I’m a brown woman, so I already get nagged about that by my family. I don’t need my neighbors to start.”

“Yes mam.” Virgil uttered in awestruck terror.

“Anyway.” She ruffled his hair, like Patton had done hundreds of times already. “It was nice meeting you. I won’t cramp your style anymore.”

With that she left, and Virgil was convinced he had just met the god of yore or some other deity.

“She’s fun, isn’t she?” Roman smiled.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I came over to make sure Barbra doesn’t get a chance to talk to you.” He continued. “She probably wishes you were dead as well.”

“I’ll keep Karen away from him.” Lucian said disinterestedly.

“Good. Don’t even let her look over here.” Roman said backing away.

Roman tripped over a sprinkler but recovered himself with surprising grace and walked away. As he left a new figure emerged. A dude roughly the same age as them wearing an orange hoodie with the hood up. The hood half concealed dark curly hair and cast a shadow on his sort of mustache that he was trying to grow. You know the kind, it’s like six hairs and they’re all different lengths.

“My dad told me to introduce myself to you.” Hood man sneered at him.

I wonder if anyone can talk to me without being told first. But I’m two for two in pity friends.

“Cool.” Virgil said blankly. “I’m Virgil.”

“I’m Ernest.” Hood man returned.

Virgil tried to think of anything he would have in common with people his own age. And unless these two were chess club members, which they obviously weren’t because they weren’t losers, he was going to come up short. His dad was in prison and he was still screwing him over. He really was all powerful.

“Did either of you eat any of the brownies?” Ernest asked in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, there was oregano in them for some ungodly reason.” Virgil answered.

“What?” Ernest looked confused. “They’re pot brownies, they’re not made with Italian spices.”

“I don’t feel high.” Virgil shrugged. “You sure you didn’t get ripped off?”

“Lucian.” Ernest glared daggers at their third member. “What did you sell me?”

“Oregano leaves.” Lucian scoffed. “And apparently that’s a good thing, because you were planning on drugging the entire neighborhood!”

“You scammed me! I want my ten bucks back!”

“No way! You paid me ten bucks to learn a valuable lesson.”

Virgil pulled the draw strings on his hoodie and started chewing on them.

“What lesson?!”

“Not to be an idiot! What would have happened if one of the little kids ate your roofied crap?”

“Weed is less unhealthy than chocolate!”

“Not if you don’t know you’re getting high! What if someone gave River a brownie?! You would have drugged a baby!”

“So, you just threw whole ass leaves in some brownie mix?” Virgil interrupted. “And what, hoped that no one would notice?”

“What?” Lucian walked over to the table and came back with a brownie. “You idiot! You’re supposed to make it into butter first!”

“How the hell was I supposed to know that!” Ernest threw his hands up. “I can’t just google how to make pot brownies!”

Virgil limped over to the table and came back with a lemonade. He drank it contentedly as the scene unfolded.

“What if someone ate one of them and went in the pool you jackass?!”

“You can’t swim after eating! No one would have!”

“Ok, but they were whole leaves.” Virgil said probably to himself. “Even if it was real drugs anyone would have just spat them out after one bite.”

“You can’t just drug people! You’re describing the thought process of a rapist!” Lucian crescendo-ed.

“Ok. I’m calling my dog over, so your head explodes.” Ernest said sternly.

“Careful not to drug her!”

Virgil left and came back with a plate of chips. The argument was going great. Clearly Lucian was winning, but Ernest whistled, and bear dog came bounding over. Bear dog gave Lucian a quick lick on the hand before he could react and then she went for Virgil’s chips.

“This isn’t over you dick.” Lucian said before storming off.

Ernest stood victorious. Bear dog ate Virgil’s entire plate, plate and all.

“The brownie thing was stupid though.” Virgil commented, petting the massive dog. “Like, that was poorly planned at best.”

“I know that now.” Ernest rolled his eyes. “But it’ll be a cold day in hell before I admit that to Lucian.”

“I admire your resolve.”

Virgil counted that event as a success. No one died, nothing caught on fire and no one got arrested. He even made a couple of friends. Granted they were pity friends, but he would take what he could get. And they made hamburgers towards the end that didn’t have any weird stuff in them. Great success.

#sanders sides #sanders sides human au #logicallity #parental moxiety #parental anological #platonic lamp #pattonsanders #logansanders #romansanders #virgilsanders #famILY

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eddiesasspbrak · 5 years ago

Text

“I only did it because I love you.”

Prompt inspired by one line of dialogue.

On AO3

Eddie and Richie have always been together. Their lives get pulled apart when they find themselves following work to opposite sides of the country. Eddie's new girlfriend, Myra, will go to great lengths to keep the two men apart.

12k+ words, oneshot

When Eddie had graduated college and left his best friend behind for a job in a different city, he’d been heartbroken. They’d known each other since they were children, were practically inseparable all the way through high school. When they chose to leave their small hometown of Derry behind, they had conveniently gotten into the same college.

They’d applied to all the same schools and sat together, opening letters at the same time to see if they could stay together. When they’d finally found matching acceptance letters it was decided. They couldn’t live without each other. Or, so they thought.

After graduation, Eddie had gotten a job in New York at an insurance company as a risk analysist. Richie talked about following him, but he hadn’t quite finished his degree and had planned to stay another year to finish it up. For a moment, Eddie considered turning down the job for something local, but Richie promised he’d graduate the following year and join him in the city. Until then they’d try to visit. Nothing would tear apart their friendship, that’s what Richie had promised followed by a snide comment about Eddie missing him too much to function.

So off he went, bound for New York. Richie helped him move, spent a few days getting him settled, and they said goodbye at the airport. Eddie cried unashamed, Richie held it in until he was out of sight. Eddie hardly slept that night. He was so used to falling asleep to Richie’s loud snoring from across the room that the silence became too much. Part of him wished he’d had the forethought to record his snoring while he could but that was probably a creepy thing to do. He went the next day to buy a white noise machine.

Emails, phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, they all became scarce and far between as both men became busy with their separate lives. Somehow Eddie found it easier and easier to live without Richie. Part of that was due to a girl he’d met. Myra.

During their first conversation he’d told her all about Richie. She’d told him he sounded like a bad influence and that he had too much of a dependency on the other man. It wasn’t good for him and the separation was going to cure him of that. He thought then of his mother. She’d never liked Richie, didn’t like their closeness. She wanted Eddie to make other friends. He made the point that he did have other friends. Five other friends in fact. He loved Bev, Ben, Mike, Bill and Stan but Richie was his best friend, the one he always thought of first when it came to sharing good news.

That’s why Richie had been the first to hear about Myra. He sent a series of texts, explaining that there was just some familiar comfort he’d found in her. He wasn’t completely sure he liked her at first, but she just cared so dearly for him and always had his best interest at heart. It made him feel loved and cared for. Something he longed for since being alone in the city.

Richie had congratulated him on finding someone, made a joke about how he was happy with Eddie’s mom as well, but it felt off. Like he wasn’t as happy for him as he let on. Eddie brushed it off as a misunderstanding. It was always so hard to determine tone in a text. That was when the messages began to come less frequently.

Richie never did keep his promise of following Eddie to New York. He’d often attended open mic nights at comedy clubs and managed to get a few laughs every time. On a particularly good night for him, wherein he made plenty of jokes about his first love, his unrequited love, an agent looking for new talent was lucky enough to be in the audience. He’d approached Richie and given him his card, filling his head with dreams of making it big as a comedian.

Richie had sat on that card for days, attending classes and going about his life as normal. He was so close to completing his degree and graduating. So close to going to Eddie. When he learned of the other man’s new girlfriend, his heart shattered in a very dramatic way. He pretended to support his friend, congratulated him, and then cried for a good hour.

He always knew that he would never have his feelings reciprocated, but Eddie never really dated before now. He might get a crush, do some flirting, his first kiss had been a public disaster (which Richie never let him live down), but he’d never had a relationship that lasted more than a week. Part of that might have been Richie’s fault.

Whenever a new girl would come sniffing around, Richie made sure to become extra clingy. Eddie never seemed to notice or mind, having been so used to Richie always being there with him. The taller man would make his vulgar jokes when they were around, which Eddie was used to having grown up with the guy. He’d always get a sigh and an eyeroll from his friend and harsh words from the girls that already hated him for being a third wheel. From there the relationships would fall apart as Eddie would refuse to stop hanging around Richie at their request. Richie always dreaded the day his tricks wouldn’t work anymore, and he’d be stolen away.

When Eddie had gone to New York alone, Richie was full of anxiety. He’d never been without the smaller man and wouldn’t be there to fight off the women. Eddie was cute, like a small animal you wanted to protect. Women always seemed to fall for that part of him.

His mother was a bit of a disaster having Munchausen syndrome by proxy. Something Richie hadn’t realized until he took a psyche course as part of his prerequisites. Everything the professor said about the disorder sounded just like Sonia. She kept Eddie on all kinds of fake medications through his life, convincing him he was sick and making him afraid of the world that could infect him. As far as Richie was aware, the only thing he actually suffered from was obsessive compulsive disorder, a result of the fears instilled in him that everything had to be clean and tidy to avoid illness.

Richie was afraid he’d fall for someone just like her. He hoped Myra wasn’t that someone.

Feeling heart broken, he made the decision that he couldn’t follow Eddie to New York. He couldn’t see them together. Sure, he could revert to his old ways, drive her away. But it was clear that Eddie liked women, liked her, and he’d chosen Myra to be with. How long could he ruin Eddie’s potential happiness for his own selfish and impossible desires? He didn’t know what he was working for anymore. The only reason he’d even chosen college was to stay with Eddie.

On an impulse, he pulled the business card from his wallet and dialed the number. He told the man on the other end that he was interested in a career in comedy and things seemed to move quickly from there. His parents were less than thrilled when they found out he’d dropped out of college, so close to graduating with his degree, to pursue comedy instead. When he told Eddie, he got an earful. How could he risk his future like that? Shouldn’t he graduate first so he had something to fall back on? What if this guy was a con artist, setting him up to fail for his own gain? After a lot of bickering that turned to yelling, the line fell silent. When Eddie spoke again, his voice was no longer angry.

“You’re still coming to New York, right?” He asked, his voice quiet, worried.

“I…no Eds. He wants me to go to LA.” Richie responded, biting at his nails out of nervous habit.

Eddie made a noise that was somewhere between a scoff and hiccup and Richie wondered if he’d started to cry.

“LA is all the way on the other side of the country!” He shouted.

Richie was very much aware of the distance. The odds that they would see each other again were becoming slimmer. Eddie was busy with work and Myra; Richie would be busy trying to launch his career and nursing his broken heart.

“I have to take my chance now. This guy really thinks I can make it big. He says LA is where I need to be. He’s even covering my traveling expenses to California and putting me up in a hotel until I find a place. That has to mean something, right?” Richie tried to sound hopeful, tried to make a sad feeling turn into optimism.

“We’ll never see each other again.” Eddie sniffled. He was definitely crying.

“Sure we will.” Richie said, his own voice cracking. He cleared his throat and deflected with a joke like he always did. “We’ll still see each other at holidays at your moms, right? I mean, I’m practically our stepdad by this point. Think of what this distance will do to our relationship. I can’t imagine there will be any MILFs like her in LA.”

Eddie sighed, though the tears seemed to have stopped. “Shut the fuck up, Richie.”

The line went silent again and Richie found the urge to cry stronger than before. He felt like he was letting go of a big piece of himself. He needed Eddie like he needed oxygen, and he felt like he would suffocate without him by his side. What else could he do? Being with him without being with him was too painful.

“I’ll reserve a front row seat to my first real show for you.” Richie promised.

“I’ve already heard all of your terrible jokes.”

“I’ve written so much new material lately, you won’t recognize a single joke. Besides, you love my jokes.” Richie smiled to himself, picturing all the open mic nights Eddie had been at to support him. “Tell me you’ll come.”

“I’ll be there.” Eddie promised.

Richie hung up the phone an hour later feeling weighed down by emotions he wasn’t ready to deal with. Instead, he packed. With his parents help, he’d managed to spend the last year in a one-bedroom apartment near campus. He couldn’t imagine going back to the dorms without Eddie as his roommate. He wasn’t taking much. Most of the furniture had been from thrift stores or trash finds and he had no real connection to any of it. Eddie thought it was disgusting that he filled his home with used furniture.

“Do you know how hard it is to get rid of bedbugs?!” he’d shouted at him when Richie told him about the recliner he’d found on the side of the road.

Everything in his life seemed to be filled with memories of Eddie and it was painful.

A week later, Richie was turning over his keys and boarding his flight to LA. Even with hectic schedules and different time zones, the two still managed to stay in contact though it was far less frequent than before. Rushed texts between sets, calls becoming impossible, most of their contact coming from Facebook likes. It was easy for them to forget how distant they’d become with busy days distracting them from the loneliness. It wasn’t until they each settled into bed at night that the separation really got to them. It was like a hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach. A missing piece.

Finally, after months of small clubs and small audiences, Richie’s manager booked him a gig at one of the bigger comedy clubs in the area. This was it. The moment he was waiting for to invite Eddie out to LA to watch him. For the first time in what felt like forever, he called his best friend with the news. Eddie congratulated him, though he was distracted. Him and Myra were on their way out the door for dinner. He could hear her bickering at him in the background about the dangers of descending stairs while on the phone.

Richie rolled his eyes but said nothing. Eddie wrote down the date, told him he’d book the flight as soon as he got home from dinner, told him he was excited to see him. Richie felt like his heart was full just from hearing the excitement in his voice. He couldn’t wait to see that adorable face looking up at him from the front row. He’d reserved two seats, though Eddie had said he wasn’t sure Myra would want to come. Richie hoped she didn’t.

When his big night came around, Richie was nervous. He’d been busy all day, sound checks, meetings with his manager to go over his final approved set. He hadn’t had the chance to contact Eddie all day though he kept his phone out, screen facing up, in case the other man contacted him. Whenever he had a second, he’d check to see if there were any new messages. Nothing.

Richie stood backstage, waiting for the guy before him to finish up. He tried to call Eddie, but it went straight to voice mail. Maybe he forgot to take it off airplane mode? Peeking out at the crowd from behind the curtain, he could see the two empty seats, dead center in front of the stage and his heart sank. Where was he?

R: Eds, I’m going on in like 15 where the hell are you?

He texted him, praying nothing had happened to his friend. He paced nervously, couldn’t even hear the guy on stage or register whether or not he was getting laughs. Minutes later, his phone chimed, and his heart practically leapt from his chest.

E: I can’t make it

Was all the text said.

R: What the fuck you couldn’t have told me this earlier?

E: My life is too busy to drop everything to fly to LA for one night

R: Drop everything? You’ve known about this for weeks! You booked your flight the night I told you about it!

E: I just don’t have time for you anymore

Richie stared at the words on his screen for what felt like an eternity but couldn’t have been more than a few minutes. He startled when his manager came up behind him, slapping a hand on his shoulder with a big grin. He had two minutes. Two minutes to pull himself together and pretend like he wasn’t dying on the inside. What did he mean he didn’t have time for him? They barely spoke anymore at all. They were supposed to be best friends! How could he say such a thing and on such an important night?

Richie heard his name being announced. He pressed his phone into his managers hand, not wanting the weight of it in his pocket while on stage. Really, he was afraid he’d get another text and would be too distracted and mess up his jokes.

With a deep breath, he plastered a smile onto his face and walked onto stage, greeting the audience who halfheartedly applauded him. They didn’t know who he was, didn’t know if he’d be any good. Richie pushed everything to the back of his mind, focusing instead on the jokes and the audience before him.

“So…let’s talk about my first love.”

Eddie lay in his hospital bed, staring up at the clean white ceiling and feeling the weight of disappointment heavy on his chest. He was supposed to be in LA, in the front row, waiting. Richie would be going on any minute and he wasn’t there.

A few days prior, he found himself far more tired than normal. He would start to doze sitting at his desk, typing up reports and have to take a walk around the office to wake up. He figured he just wasn’t sleeping well, the excitement of his impending trip to LA keeping him from resting fully. Over the next few days it only seemed to get worse and Eddie actually fell asleep during a meeting. He’d never done that before. Myra had started bringing him lunch, making sure he was eating the right foods to give him energy, but nothing seemed to be helping.

The morning he was meant to fly to California, Myra told him she was worried about his fatigue. She thought he needed to go to the hospital, get some tests done to make sure he was ok. He promised he would as soon as he returned from his trip, reminding her that she could still come with him. Disapproving, she put her foot down and told him to get in the car. She was driving him to the hospital, ensuring him he’d be out by noon to catch his flight. Eddie tried to protest again, but she began listing all of the illnesses that sudden fatigue could be a symptom of, and he was putting on his coat, full of anxiety.

Their visit started with extensive questioning, checking for symptoms that Eddie, ever the hypochondriac, was sure he had. In the end, the doctor he was seeing decided to admit him for some tests just to rule anything serious out. When he changed into his hospital gown, Myra took his belongings saying she’d keep them safe. He wanted to text Richie, let him know he was in the hospital and that he may have to get a later flight. Myra, however, insisted he rest. She promised to send the text herself after the testing began.

After hours of vials of drawn blood, questioning, x-rays, more questioning, stress tests and even more questioning, Eddie finally asked how long it would be until he was released. He just about cried when his doctor informed him that he wanted to keep him under observation for at least one more night and one more day. There was concern for someone as young as he was, who was otherwise fairly healthy, to be stricken with fatigue so suddenly.

“Myra, I need my phone.” He said, returning to his room from the latest test he’d been subjected to.

“Oh, no Eddie you need your rest. You shouldn’t be worrying yourself with work or socialization. You’ll only get yourself worked up.” She responded, placing her hand on top of her purse where his phone resided.

“I’ve already missed my flight. I need to let Richie know what’s going on. You did text him this morning, right?”

“Of course, I did. He said he hopes you feel better.”

“That was it? That’s all he said?”

“Yes.”

Eddie knit his brows together in confusion. That didn’t sound like Richie. He was more likely to make a joke about him being a hypochondriac followed by a lewd joke about sponge baths.

“He didn’t…make a joke or anything? Something dumb or gross?” He asked.

“No. I…I told him it was me texting from your phone. That must be why.”

Eddie nodded. Richie didn’t really know Myra. Not that that’s stopped him before. Then again, he was about to have his first big show. Maybe he was just too nervous to crack a joke, instead focusing on his set.

“I still need to let him know I can’t come. Tell him I…I’m sorry to miss it.” Eddie’s face was a mask of sadness and disappointment.

“After lunch. I’ve already ordered you something healthy from the cafeteria.”

“Ugh, hospital food.” Eddie grimaced, sitting on the edge of his bed.

“Well I’m sorry, Eddie. I’ve been here taking care of you. I couldn’t very well have gone home and made you a meal, could I? My back is so sore from sitting on this hard chair all day. I’m sacrificing so much to be here with you. I don’t suppose I should have just gone and gotten you fast food when they’re already concerned for your heart.” Myra raised her voice, working herself up.

“No, no.” Eddie soothed, holding his hands up. “It’s fine. I’ll eat what they bring me. I’m lucky to have you here with me.”

Myra calmed herself with a huff. “Yes, you are.” She responded.

After lunch, Eddie was whisked off for yet another stress test. He reached for his phone, wanting to be sure he texted Richie before he forgot. Myra shooed his hands away, promising to send the text herself.

An entire day gone, and Eddie was still in a hospital gown, propped up on several pillows behind his back. He hated hospitals, but at least they were clean. He looked from the ceiling to the clock on the wall. Richie would be preparing to go on. He hoped he wasn’t too nervous. He’d never admit it to his face, but he’d always thought Richie was funny. When he was on stage anyway. Eddie turned his head to Myra, who was sat in the corner with a book. It was clear he wasn’t going to get his phone from her until this was all over.

“I want to wish Richie luck. He’s about to go on.” He said, a tinge of sadness to his voice.

Myra pulled out his phone with an overexaggerated eyeroll, just as a text came through.

“Was that him?” He asked.

“No. It was a prescription refill reminder. Don’t worry, I took care of it already.”

Eddie nodded a thanks and Myra typed as he dictated. “Tell him, good luck on your first big show. I promise to be at the next one. Try not to offend anyone.”

Myra typed the words and sent the text off. A moment later his phone chimed.

“He says thank you.”

“Nothing else?”

“He…said he’s disappointed that you aren’t there.”

“Tell him I’m sorry. I really wanted to be there.” Eddie went back to staring at the ceiling. He wished he was there, in the front row, waiting to see that infectious smile take the stage. He’d always felt a sense of pride when others in the audience would laugh at his jokes. Now he was missing it.

His phone chimed again, and Myra wasted no time before reacting to the words he couldn’t see.

“Oh my, you’re really friends with someone who speaks to you like this?” She asked, pressing her hand to her chest dramatically.

“Why? What did he say? His sense of humor takes some getting used to.” Eddie felt the need to defend Richie.

“Well, I won’t repeat the vulgarity he sent, but he said you’re not a good friend for bailing on him. He’s angry that you let your imaginary illnesses keep you from going.”

Eddie sat up to fully look at Myra. Was Richie really angry with him? Yea, ok, maybe he was always worried about getting sick and took things a bit more seriously than others. But wasn’t it better to make sure it was nothing than to ignore it and have it be something? He thought Richie had accepted that part of him long ago. Sure, he’d tease him about it, but he’d never been angry about it. Eddie had a few choice words he wanted to fire back at him, but he knew Myra wouldn’t take it well.

“Say…that the doctors seem to think it’s real and I’ll talk to him when he’s done being a…jerk.” That’s not the word he wanted to use, but he stopped himself from calling him a douche in front of Myra. Had he been able to type the text himself there would have been a few mentions of ‘fuck you’ and ‘choke on a dick and die’.

She sent the text but nothing more came. He’d be on stage by now. Eddie was angry, hurt and full of guilt. Richie should have known that he wanted to be there, that he would have been there if he hadn’t been subjected to endless tests.

“You don’t need someone like that in your life.” Myra said.

“He’s my best friend. I don’t understand why he’s acting this way. I went to every single one of his open mic nights, even though he was basically repeating the same jokes every time. I still went, sat front row and cheered him on. He should know that I wouldn’t miss it if I didn’t have to.” The anger was evident in Eddie’s voice but there was something else there. An overwhelming sadness that he felt like he’d let down the one person who’d always been there for him.

“I’m just going to delete these messages, so you don’t have to see them and get yourself worked up again.” Myra said, tapping away at the screen.

Eddie didn’t say anything as he plopped back down onto the pillows. When he was out of the hospital and had his phone back, he’d text him again. Apologize but also let him know how much of a dick he was. He’d also inform him of whatever illness the doctors found to rub it in his face that he’d really been sick.

Richie sat at the bar, drink in hand, phone in front of his face. He reread the last words Eddie had sent him about a thousand times. Torturing himself. He knew they’d been growing apart for a while but to say he didn’t have time for him anymore was so…final. He knew he’d never have him as a lover, but now it seemed he wouldn’t even have a friend.

Richie realized he was in love in middle school. Eddie was his favorite person to banter with. The others would usually respond to his jokes with a simple ‘shut up’ or their preferred ‘beep, beep Richie’. Eddie was more likely to shoot back at him, speaking faster than humanly possible, calling him names and letting him know how dumb he thought he was. He’d always felt an overwhelming need to protect him from everything and everyone that could hurt him. Whether it was bullies, his mother or hypothetical sewer dwelling killer clowns. He was his shoulder to lean on, cry on.

It was in a moment of fear in the haunted house at the Halloween fair when it happened. Eddie grabbed his hand and refused to let go until they had made it to the other side. Richie found himself no longer scared by the masked strangers jumping from corners and he realized it wasn’t fear that was causing his heart to practically leap from his chest. It turns out, finding his best friend adorable wasn’t as platonic as he thought. It only grew from there. He became hyperaware of the other and how much skin ship they shared on a normal day. That summer, he carved their initials into the side of the kissing bridge. No matter how hard he tried, he’d never been able to get over him and he tried continuously over the years. Even tried dating a few girls. It was useless.

He always thought that if he told Eddie of his true feelings, it would drive him away. Now it looked like it didn’t matter. Eddie was always destined to outgrow him. Richie didn’t even realize he was crying until a tear dropped onto his phone’s screen. He set his drink aside and wiped at his face with his sleeve, pocketing his phone. He motioned for the bartender, indicating he was ready to close out his tab. Somewhere in the distance he could hear his manager celebrating the success of the night, hyping up his promising client to all who would listen. Richie didn’t feel much like celebrating anymore.

Eddie woke in his hospital bed, finally feeling rested. He stretched, his back popping where it had gotten tense from the unfamiliar bed. He looked to the chair and found that Myra wasn’t there, but her purse was. He stood from his bed and fished his phone from her purse. His battery was low from not being plugged in and the screen read it was almost noon.

Unlocking his phone, he immediately opened the text conversation with Richie. As promised, Myra had deleted the texts, the last one remaining from Richie telling him he could get his ticket at the door and they’d drink after the show. He was trying to decide if it was too soon to text him. It was three hours earlier in LA, Richie was likely sleeping off the drinks from the night before. Before he could decide, there was a knock at the door, his doctor letting himself in a second later.

“Mr. Kaspbrak, good morning.” He said, flipping a few papers on the clipboard in his hands.

Eddie moved back to the bed, sitting on the edge, tucking his phone beneath the blanket in case Myra came back.

“Good morning.” He returned the greeting.

“The results of the tests look good. You’re exceptionally healthy, which isn’t much of a surprise for someone your age.”

“So, I’m ok?” He asked, feeling a bit confused. “What about the fatigue?”

“Do you ever take medication to help you sleep?” The doctor answered his question with a question.

“Sometimes. I occasionally deal with insomnia.”

“Your bloodwork shows you had quite a bit of benzodiazepines in your system.”

“I…I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a kind of medication used for sleeping pills and muscle relaxers. Luckily, you aren’t showing any signs of an overdose.”

“W-what? How do you know? What if you missed it?”

“There’s a reason we ran all of those tests Mr. Kaspbrak. How often would you say you’re using these meds to help you sleep? Were they prescribed?” He asked, lifting his pen to the clipboard.

“They were prescribed by my general physician. I haven’t taken one in a long time though. I mostly used them when I first moved to the city.”

He had been writing something on the papers clipped to the board when he stopped and looked up at him, his eyebrows raised.

“How long has it been since you used this medication?”

Eddie thought back. He’d already been in New York for more than a year. The last time he could remember actually needing the pills was when Myra had stayed too late and didn’t want to go home. She kept kicking him in her sleep and tossing and turning. He thought she’d be mad if she woke up and found him on the couch, so he’d turned to the sleeping pills. He’d only taken half a dose, knowing that he had a hard time waking in the morning if he took a full dose.

“It’s been at least four months.” Eddie finally answered.

The doctor set his clipboard on the arm of the chair beside him. The look on his face only spiked Eddie’s anxiety higher. Why did he look so concerned?

“Can you confirm for me what medication you’ve had prescribed to you?” He asked.

“Ambien.” He blurted out.

“Ambien usually leaves your system in around 16 hours. There’s no way it would still be present in your system after four months.”

“I…I don’t understand.”

“Is the woman whose been staying with you your wife?” He asked, sitting in the chair and pulling it closer to the bed.

“No. My girlfriend.”

“Do you live together?”

“No.”

“Does she cook for you?”

“She brings me lunch every day at work to make sure I get a healthy meal.”

The doctor was silent for a moment, watching Eddie who was fidgeting anxiously, pulling at a loose string on the hem of his hospital gown.

“Do you have any reason to believe she would be putting the Ambien into your food?” He asked, effectively knocking the air from his lungs.

“N-no…she…she wouldn’t do that. She loves me. She takes care of me. She…” Eddie trailed off. She really hadn’t wanted him to go to LA for the weekend. She kept trying to talk him out of it, trying to trigger his anxieties about flying. He still insisted he had to go. His mother spent the entirety of his childhood convincing him he was sick, medicating him when he didn’t need it to keep him under her control. To make him need her.

Eddie stood and retrieved Myra’s purse. Sifting through the various items she kept in the large bag, he finally found an orange pill bottle at the bottom inside a zip lock bag. It was his prescription. His hands shook as he pulled the bottle from the bag and he turned back to the doctor.

“I think it’s important that you speak to one of our councilors. Maybe with your girlfriend.” His doctors voice cut through his thoughts.

“No…no I don’t need it. I…I’ll be fine. I just…can I be released today? I need to get out of here.”

“If you’re sure, I can get a nurse working on your release papers.” He stood and walked to the door, pausing to look back at Eddie. “If you change your mind, you can always come back to one of our onsite therapists.”

Eddie nodded and with that he left. He was sure the doctor was coming to tell him he was sick, not that he suspected he was being drugged by his girlfriend. Eddie stood and busied himself getting dressed and gathering his things. He felt like the breath had been knocked from his lungs and he was moving on autopilot.

His phone chimed from beneath the blanket where he’d left it. He stopped what he was doing and grabbed it, surprised to see the notification was from Richie.

R: Look, Eds, I don’t know what’s going on with you right now, but I can’t live without you. Don’t say you’re done with me.

Eddie’s head cleared a bit from the shock and was replace with confusion. Wasn’t he the one who was mad at him?

E: What the hell are you talking about?

R: I know you’re busy. It’s ok that you had to work. You can try to come next time. I’ll set a ticket aside for you for every show. Just tell me you still have time for me

E: Are you drunk?

It took a minute for Richie to reply this time. It was early, even earlier in LA, there’s no way he’d be drunk already, right? He wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but Richie only got like this when he’d been drinking. Vulnerable, honest, not hiding behind jokes.

R: Maybe. I drank a lot last night. All night. Didn’t sleep.

E: Make yourself some coffee and explain to me what you’re talking about. I’m still in the hospital.

R: Hospital? What the fuck why didn’t you tell me?

E: Myra told you yesterday. Did you seriously forget?

R: What? No, she didn’t. I didn’t talk to Myra.

E: She was texting you from my phone.

Again, silence. Eddie saw the typing bubbles pop up and disappear several times, making him anxious, before a picture was sent instead. It was a screenshot of a text conversation. Confused, Eddie sat in one of the chairs at the small table and tapped the image to enlarge it.

R: Eds, I’m going on in like 15 where the hell are you?

E: I can’t make it

R: What the fuck you couldn’t have told me this earlier?

E: My life is too busy to drop everything to fly to LA for one night

R: Drop everything? You’ve known about this for weeks! You booked your flight the night I told you about it!

E: I just don’t have time for you anymore

Eddie’s breath caught in his chest as he read over the heartless messages. The messages that made Richie believe he didn’t want him around anymore. The message sent and deleted by Myra.

E: That wasn’t me

R: I gathered that when you said Myra was texting me. Eddie, are you ok?

E: I think…she drugged me to make me think I was sick so I couldn’t go.

R: What the fuck!

E: Richie, I don’t know what to do.

Eddie’s hands shook as he waited for a response. This shouldn’t be happening. He should be in LA with Richie. He should be waking with a hangover, Richie beside him passed out fully clothes still wearing his shoes like so many times before. He had begun to think he didn’t need Richie as much as he did before, but he was wrong. He was the only one he could really trust.

R: My flight leaves in 2 hours. It was the soonest I could get. It’s about 5 and a half hours to get there. Maybe don’t go home with her.

E: You’re coming here?

R: Of course. I can’t leave you alone with that psycho bitch, can I?

E: Thanks Richie

R: Anything for you, Eddie Spaghetti

Eddie smiled at the old familiar nickname he hadn’t heard in so long. He used to hate it but now it gave him a warm, comforted feeling. He locked his phone and pocketed it. He turned back to survey the room, checking to make sure he had everything, when the door opened behind him. He turned to see Myra with a coffee in her hand and a smile on her face.

“Good, you’re awake. I looked everywhere to find you coffee that didn’t come from a vending machine.” She held the coffee out to him, but he made no move to take it, so she set it down on the table beside his bed. “What’s wrong? You look sick. Maybe you should-.”

“No. I’m not sick I…they found Ambien in my system. It’s what’s been making me so tired.” His voice was flat, not wanting to give away just yet that he knew what she did.

“I didn’t know you were taking Ambien! You have to be careful with that stuff, Eddie.”

“The funny thing is, I haven’t taken it in over four months.”

Myra was silent for a moment, her smile still plastered on her face. She didn’t know Eddie suspected her for anything. She had to tread carefully.

“Maybe you just forgot. You take so many medications, it’s easy to forget what they all are. Here, sit, drink your coffee and relax. I’m told you get to go home soon.”

“I don’t want the coffee. You can have it.”

“But I brought it for you.”

“What’s in it?” He asked, giving her a look that he hoped showed her that he knew.

“J-just almond milk.”

“Nothing else?”

She forced a laugh. “Of course not. I know you don’t take sugar in your coffee.”

“What about Ambien?” He asked, pulling the pill bottle from his jacket pocket for her to see.

Her smile fell away and was immediately replaced with a frown, the tears turning on like a faucet. In the past, Eddie had given in to her when she pulled this, but this was not the woman he thought he knew. He didn’t feel safe with her anymore.

“What are you accusing me of? You know I love you! I take care of you, don’t I? You know me, Eddie.” She sobbed, covering her face with her hands and collapsing into the chair behind her.

“Do I?” He asked, causing her to look up at him. This wasn’t his typical response and she was thrown off guard. “What did you text Richie yesterday?”

“Exactly what you told me to.”

“So, you didn’t tell him I don’t have time for him anymore?”

“Of course not!”

“He sent me a screenshot of the texts.”

“Those can be faked! He probably just made it up to break us up! He’s never liked me! He-.”

“Myra!” Eddie snapped, not wanting to hear her put him down to save her own ass.

At his shout, her façade broke and the tears were replaced with anger. This, he thought, was her actual self. Not fake tears used to manipulate him. Just an angry woman, fighting to keep her control over the man standing before her.

“He’s not good enough for you, Eddie. He’s a bad influence. You can make better friends.” She said, standing again.

Eddie’s memories flashed back to his mother saying the same things. He was so relieved to escape her when he went to college, promised he’d never let her control him again. Now here he was dating a woman who was just like her.

“He’s the most important person to me on the planet.” Eddie shot back, ignoring her claims.

“He’s going to corrupt you! Why can’t you see that?!”

“What the fuck is that even supposed to mean?” He asked, throwing his hands up in annoyance.

“That is what I mean! You never talk like that.”

“Yes, I do! I just don’t in front of you.” Eddie took a breath to steady himself. The last thing they needed was security being called because of all the shouting. “I don’t understand why you’d do this to me.” He said, though that wasn’t entirely true.

Myra was back to crying, tears sliding down her face, hands balled into fists at her sides. Eddie wondered if he should have her escorted out. Give him a chance to get away from her. Luckily, they hadn’t moved in together yet, but she did have a key to his apartment. He’d have to contact his landlord, get the locks changed.

“I only did it because I love you, Eddie.” She said, shaking.

“You don’t love me. If you loved me, you wouldn’t try to take Richie away from me. You wouldn’t have drugged me!”

“I did it to protect our love! He doesn’t like me. He didn’t want you with me, I could tell.”

“You’ve never really met him. Once over facetime.” Eddie suddenly felt exhausted again and wondered if she’d slipped him anymore Ambien without him knowing.

“You were always choosing him over me. He’s trying to steal you away from me.”

“He’s my best friend.”

“Don’t be stupid, Eddie.” The tears had stopped again, like she couldn’t remember to keep them flowing. “He’s in love with you. You think I couldn’t tell from those flirtatious jokes I always overheard when you spoke to him?”

“What are you talking about? Richie’s not…” Eddie didn’t finish his sentence. Was Richie in love with him?

“Didn’t you tell me that your girlfriends in college always broke up with you because they hated him?”

“Yea, but that doesn’t mean-.”

“You said they didn’t like him hanging around all the time. Why was he always there Eddie? Why didn’t he ever give you space to be alone with your girlfriend?”

“He was…he was just…” Eddie couldn’t find the words he needed as memories of the last twenty years flooded his mind. They were close. They’d always been close. They were comfortable with each other. Was it not normal to hold your best friend’s hand or cuddle together while watching a movie? There were a few times in college when he’d been asked what their relationship was, but he’d never thought anything of it.

He thought back to the way Richie behaved around his girlfriends. He’d sit between them on the couch, force his way in, hug him from behind during casual conversation, direct the conversation to events only the two of them would be able to speak about. Staking his claim. Showing them that he was the most important person in his life, that he would win. That’s what it was, wasn’t it? Eddie was oblivious, let it happen, enjoyed it even. What were his feelings for Richie then?

“See. You know. He’s not your friend. He’s been ruining all of your relationships on purpose. Those texts, they’re fake. He’s lying to make you leave me.”

Eddie hadn’t been looking at her as he pieced together far away memories. He now turned to look at her. She wasn’t even trying to look sorry anymore. She just looked angry, determined maybe.

“Richie Tozier is a terrible comedian. He doesn’t know how to handle emotional situations and deflects with jokes. He’s clingy and needy and unbelievably annoying. He teases me endlessly, makes jokes about fucking my mom on a daily basis, but he wouldn’t lie to me. He’s never lied to me.”

“Eddie…”

“You need to leave.”

Myra had taken a step forward, but she stopped, looked as if she’d been struck. Her bottom lip began to quiver as if she was going to cry again but that quickly fell away back to anger. She couldn’t keep up her act when she was so furious with the situation. She pointed her finger in his face, close enough to make him take a step back.

“You NEED me Eddie Kaspbrak. He can’t take care of you like I can.” She practically growled.

“He wouldn’t drug me to trick me into staying with him.” Her mouth dropped open as if she was going to say something but couldn’t find the words. “Leave.” He said again, pointing to the door.

Momentarily defeated, Myra gathered her coat and purse and stomped to the door. She turned back to look at him one last time as she ripped the door open. Then she was gone, yelling down the hall of how he’d come crawling back to her. Eddie let out a sigh of relief, feeling overwhelmed.

He’d just taken a seat, trying to calm himself, his head in his hands, when a nurse came into the room with release papers for him to sign. He took the papers from her and signed quickly, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. He didn’t have his car. Myra had driven him there the day before. He sat on the curb, exhausted, and called for a cab. He didn’t know where to go from here. What did he do with this new information that his best friend was actually in love with him?

By the time the cab arrived, he’d worked himself up again. He had maybe six hours or so to figure things out. He hoped he’d be able to think more clearly when he was in his own home, in the quiet. He needed time to really sit down and think about their friendship. He loved him, he didn’t doubt that. He was his best friend, of course he loved him. Just…how much?

With his last-minute ticket purchased, Richie set to work cleaning himself up. His original plan was to be gone within the hour, in the clothes he’d worn the day before, reeking of alcohol. Since he couldn’t get an early enough flight, the idea of a shower was becoming more and more appealing. After all, if he showed up like this there would definitely be complaints from Eddie. He wouldn’t touch him until he bathed, and he wanted to be able to hug him as soon as he arrived.

His shower was quick, just enough time to wash his hair and properly scrub the smell from his skin. He probably needed to take clothes, right? He didn’t honestly know how long he’d be gone. Maybe he should text his manager. Let him know he had to go out of town.

R: Have to go to New York. Family emergency. Will update.

He sent it off quickly while grabbing a duffle bag from his closet. He haphazardly threw some jeans and button up tees from his closet into the bag, barely remembering to remove the hangers. Going to his dresser he grabbed and armful of socks and underwear and dropped them in, grabbing about half his t-shirts last. The duffle bag put up a fight when he tried to zip it, but he won in the end.

Toiletries could be purchased. He didn’t have anymore time to waste with LA traffic being what it was. The last thing he needed was to miss his flight. He’d already put a hefty charge on his credit card for the last-minute airfare. Hell, he was living out of a hotel room. He was supposed to be saving for an apartment. So much for that.

The cab ride was more money he didn’t need to be spending but it didn’t even cross his mind. His priority was getting to Eddie as quickly as possible. He miraculously arrived with enough time to check his bag, make it to his gate and sit for a few minutes to catch his breath.

Pulling his phone from his jacket pocket, he ignored the three texts his manager had sent him and opened the conversation with Eddie instead.

R: My flight is boarding soon. Have to put my phone on airplane mode. You ok?

E: I’m at home now. Alone.

Richie was relieved. He really didn’t know much about Myra other than what Eddie had told him in passing. He wasn’t sure how easy it would be for Eddie to break free from her and how desperately she’d hold onto him. He still expected a bit of a fight when he got there. Almost hoped he’d get to give her a piece of his mind for what he’d done to Eddie.

As Richie was switching his phone to airplane mode, another text came through.

E: Should I pick you up from the airport?

R: My flight gets in around 8. You still going to be up, grandpa?

E: Haha hilarious. I’m an old man because I believe in going to bed early and getting a solid 8 hours. Find your own way here jackass.

R: So, you’ll be here right?

E: Duh

Richie smiled, tapped the airplane mode icon on his screen and put his phone back in his pocket. The excitement he felt as he boarded the plane and took his seat, was a feeling he hadn’t had in years. Tonight, he’d be with his best friend, the love of his life and nothing could make him happier than seeing that dorky smile directed at him when he arrived.

Eddie set down his phone, feeling anxious. He hadn’t seen Richie in a while. Almost a year. He was supposed to see him yesterday and had been excited, but he’d also been distracted with the fatigue. Now he was wide awake and too aware of the fact that soon he’d be face to face with his best friend. His friend who might be in love with him. His friend who he might have feelings for as well.

He set about tidying the apartment. Not that there was much to be done. He already kept it immaculately clean. After about an hour of scrubbing every surface until it practically shined, he realized just how hungry he was. He hadn’t eaten since he woke up. Going to his fridge, he scanned over everything and wondered if it was safe to eat. Myra spent a lot of time at his place and had access when he wasn’t home.

Grabbing his phone, he ordered something for delivery and grabbed a trash bag from the pantry. It was a waste to throw out so much food, but he didn’t trust any of it. Anything that was opened, anything that she could have resealed, it all had to go. By the time his food arrived he had two trash bags full of food. One from the fridge, one from the cabinets and pantry. In the end all he had left was canned goods, a pack of taco seasoning and a carton of eggs.

He sat at the counter and ate, staring at the clock. He’d only managed to pass two hours. There were still four hours before his flight was supposed to arrive. What was he supposed to do until then? He’d taken time off work to go to LA, so he didn’t have work to distract him. He’d intentionally left everything at the office, not wanting the temptation to take it on the plane with him. Now all he had to distract him was flipping through channels, settling on a cheesy buddy cop movie. Four hours. He could survive that much longer, right?

Richie turned his phone back on as soon as they landed. He sent a short text, letting Eddie know he was there. He felt impatient as he filed off the airplane and made his way through the airport to the baggage claim. His bag, nearly busting at the seams, was one of the last to come through. He grabbed it and made his way out to the street where a long line of cars sat, there to pickup passengers. Richie’s stomach did a little flip when he looked down the line and saw Eddie, standing on the sidewalk beside his car.

Almost a year had gone by since he’d last seen that face in person. His legs were moving before he could even think about it. All he knew was he needed that man in his arms immediately. As he grew close, he dropped his bag on the ground, Eddie meeting him halfway in a tight embrace. Whenever they hugged, Richie had this habit of cradling the back of his head with one hand. It always felt a bit protective to Eddie. He didn’t mind it. It was comforting after all he’d been through the last two days.

Pulling back, Richie cupped Eddie’s face between his hands, turning his head from side to side to assess his features.

“Yea, I don’t know Eds. You don’t look like someone who’s been drugged for a week. You sure you weren’t faking?” He asked.

Eddie slapped his hands away, looking less than amused. “Shut the fuck up, asshole. Grab your bag and get in the fucking car.”

Richie grinned as he grabbed his bag off the pavement, watching Eddie walk around to the driver’s side door. Richie climbed in the passenger’s side and tossed his bag in the backseat. Now that they were alone in a small space, things felt slightly awkward. It wasn’t supposed to be like this for them. They were best friends since such a young age, no one knew the other better. Now it felt like strangers sharing a ride, waiting for it to be over.

“How was your show?” Eddie asked, breaking the tense silence.

“It was good. Despite what you seem to think, people do find me funny. Got a few numbers after the show too.”

“Don’t tell me you have groupies already.”

“What can I say, Eds. I crack a few jokes and the ladies come running.”

“That’s not the way I remember it in high school and college.” Eddie said with an eye roll. “Are you going to call any of them?”

Richie wanted to say that he threw away the slips of paper and napkins when he got home. Didn’t even bother putting them in his phone. But he was here for Eddie, not to weigh him down with more problems. The last thing he needed was to know his best friend had been secretly in love with him for fourteen years. Not yet.

“Probably. Maybe they’ll post about me on twitter. Talk about the amazing and handsome comedian they got to screw, make me even more popular.” He joked, his smile looking halfhearted.

They chatted about his show, Richie reciting a few of his jokes to make Eddie laugh. He did laugh at most, but some he lightheartedly heckled Richie for. They were finally starting to feel comfortable, normal. Just the way they’d always been.

When they arrived at the apartment, Eddie went immediately to his room to retrieve something. Richie dropped his bag in the living room by the couch and walked around to take in the décor. It had changed quite a bit in a year. There was some art on the walls, a vase full of dying flowers on the small table in the kitchen. There were magnets on the fridge shaped like balloons, organized in the order of a rainbow. Richie knocked one slightly sideways with his finger, wondering how long it would be before Eddie noticed.

Eddie followed him into the kitchen a moment later, a gift bag in his hands. Richie turned to him, his heart skipping a beat as it hit him again that he was here. With Eddie.

“This place is ridiculously clean. Were you planning to perform surgery on your kitchen table tonight?” Richie asked, grinning.

“I like to think that emergency surgery could be performed on my kitchen table, thank you.” Eddie snapped back, holding out the bag. “This is for you.”

“You…got me a present?” Richie asked, taking the bag and setting it on the small island in the center of the room.

“I was going to give it to you in LA.” Eddie shrugged, suddenly embarrassed.

Richie reached into the bag, his hand touching something cold, glass and heavy. He gently scooped it up from the bottom and lifted it out of the bag, tissue paper falling to the floor. What he held in his hand was a snow globe. Inside was a picture of them from the summer they were thirteen. They had their arms around each other, big smiles on their faces. Bev had taken that picture. Above the picture was a dotted line that curled into a heart in the middle and connected LA and New York. Below is said “Don’t Forget Me”.

He wouldn’t admit it, but Richie was really touched by the gift. He’d thought that Eddie didn’t care about him as much as he used to since he had a girlfriend and seemed happy before all of this. This proved that he had thought about him, missed him.

“Wow, Eds.” He said, shaking the snow globe and watching the colorful glitter fall down around their smiling faces. “A snow globe. Really?” He chuckled.

Eddie shrugged. “It was that or a coffee mug and I thought that was…”

“Too couple-like?” Richie asked.

Eddie shrugged again. He felt uncomfortable. When he’d passed by the shop that made customized gifts, he’d thought it was a good idea. After consulting the woman behind the counter, they agreed that a snow globe was probably best. He’d gone to Bev’s Facebook to find the old photo and emailed it to the store. When he’d picked it up and actually saw it in person, he’d thought that maybe it was a bad idea. Now, he realized, Richie really did like it. He could bullshit all he wanted, but Eddie could read him like a book.

“Thanks.” Richie said, placing it back in the bag. “I hope it survives the plane ride back to LA.”

Eddie knew that eventually Richie would return to LA. He’d only come to New York to make sure he was ok. Once he was sure Myra wouldn’t come around, he’d leave again. Still, he hadn’t been thinking about that until Richie said it.

“I have bubble wrap.” Eddie said, his voice quiet.

“Of course you do.” Richie grinned, wondering how many times Eddie had rolled his eyes since they met at the airport. “Well, I’m starving. Maybe we should eat before we start Myra proofing your place.”

Eddie sighed. Richie had said during the car ride that he thought Eddie should set up some security measures in case Myra came back. He still wasn’t sure if he was serious.

“Unless you want to eat eggs and tomato soup with taco seasoning, we have to order something.” Eddie said, going to the fridge and opening it to show its emptiness.

“Jeez Eddie. Don’t you ever eat?”

“I had to throw most of it out. I didn’t know if she had tampered with any of it. Better safe than…” Eddie trailed off.

Richie took a seat on one of the stools beside the island, leaning against the countertop. He watched as Eddie closed the fridge, looking like he needed a drink. Richie could definitely provide the drink, but before that…

“Are you ok?” He asked, letting the concern for the other man take over.

Eddie looked at him, moving to lean against the other side of the island with his hip. He crossed his arms and turned his gaze to the ground.

“I just can’t believe I ended up with someone just like…just like…”

“Your mom?”

Eddie nodded. “She could have killed me, Rich. If she’d given me too much, I could have died.”

“But you didn’t.”

“What if I hadn’t realized she was drugging me? I would still be with her. Who knows what else she would have done. It’s like I can’t trust anyone.”

“Except…”

“Except you.” Eddie rolled his eyes again. “But you’re in LA. You can’t protect me anymore.”

Richie looked down at his hands. At the time, moving to LA had seemed like such a good idea. Now he regretted it. He wanted to be here, with Eddie, but he couldn’t just walk away from everything now. He’d dropped out of college for this. He was doing well. His manager really thought he could turn this into a successful career.

“You could come to LA.” Richie suggested, though that felt selfish.

“I can’t. Earthquakes.”

Richie nodded and chuckled. “Right.”

“I would like to visit each other more often. I mean, this is the first time in a year that we’ve seen each other. You could come here when you’re free, I can go to see some of your shows when I can get the time. We don’t have to be so far apart.”

Richie agreed, but it wasn’t enough. He didn’t want to see him a few times a year. He wanted him year-round. Just like before. Richie pushed that thought down and reminded Eddie that he needed food. They agreed on pizza and settled onto the couch to find a movie to watch while they ate. Eddie didn’t usually eat in the living room and made it clear that he would kill Richie if he spilled anything.

They ate together, didn’t really watch the movie, deciding talking to each other was more appealing. They still had so much to catch up on. After they’d eaten, Richie suggested going to get a drink. Eddie went to the hall closet and pulled a bottle of whiskey from a bag marked ‘laundry’. Richie raised his eyebrows at him as he walked back over with it.

“Had to hide it from Myra.” Eddie answered his unasked question.

And so, they drank, and talked and laughed. Richie took a picture of the two of them and sent it to Bev who’d been texting to congratulate him on his show. They reminisced about childhood with their friends, wishing the five of them were there with them. Bev had responded with a picture of her and Ben. Everyone knew they’d end up together when they were young. He was so in love with her it was almost gross. They joked about how smitten he’d been. They talked about college, stories from when they were roommates.

“Do you think you’ll ever go back? Finish what you started?” Eddie asked, tilting her head against the back of the couch.

“I don’t know.” Richie poured more whiskey over his ice before sitting back against the pillows. “Maybe if I fail at this I will.”

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t just finish first. Couldn’t it have waited just a few more months?”

“Yea. It could have. My manager even asked if I wanted to graduate before I left.”

“Then why didn’t you?”

Richie shrugged. “I was lonely. I didn’t want to be there anymore. The only reason to finish was so I could find a job out here.”

“You can be a comedian in New York.”

Richie swirled his drink around, watching the ice clink against the sides of the glass. He’d thought of that before going to LA. He just wasn’t sure he wanted to admit why he’d chosen LA. Didn’t want to tell Eddie that he’d been given the option to choose New York.

“What about you? You really enjoy looking for risks in everything?” Richie asked, cracking a smile. “What do you guys talk about at office parties? Do you just sit around a table discussing all the risks involved with office parties?”

“Richie.”

He put on an exaggerated voice before speaking again. “Just think, if we had alcohol here everyone would get drunk and Larry would end up fucking his secretary on the copy machine.”

“Richie.”

“Those party hats really are dangerous. You could put an eye out with those sharp points. Can’t have that.”

“Beep, beep Richie.” Eddie said, his friend finally falling silent, still looking down at his drink.

Richie sighed and drained his drink in one go. “I didn’t…want to come to New York.” He admitted.

“Why not?”

“Because you were here.”

Eddie didn’t know what to say to that, but that was fine because Richie wasn’t done.

“You built your own life here. Met a girl. You sounded happy. I didn’t want to ruin it. You didn’t need me anymore.” He said, setting his glass on the table.

“Clearly I did.”

“If I had known she was going to be like your mom, I would have driven her away.”

“Like the girls in college?”

Richie opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. That was a first. He couldn’t look at Eddie, but Eddie was looking at him. Watching his face as a series of emotions passed over his features. Eddie waited, he wanted him to say something. Deny it or admit to it. He had to choose one.

“They were no good for you. I had to protect you.” Richie finally said, reaching again for the bottle of whiskey to fill his glass.

“From what?”

“Being taken advantage of.”

Eddie scoffed. “I wouldn’t have been-.”

“Myra?”

“That’s different. They weren’t all like that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yea because I never got the chance to know them. Because someone scared them away before I could.”

“And the one time I couldn’t, look what happened.”

Eddie didn’t want to fight. Didn’t want to get angry. The last few days had been absolute shit. They were finally back together, and Eddie wouldn’t argue with him. He didn’t know how long he had him here and he wanted to enjoy every second. Not spend it like this.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Richie. That’s not why I brought it up.” Eddie said, snatching the bottle from Richie to fill his own glass.

“Then why did you?” Richie lifted his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He suddenly felt exhausted, like he needed to sleep for the next twenty-four hours.

“Because I…I wanted to know…” Richie turned his head slightly to look at him from his peripheral as he took a deep breath. “Richie, do you love me?” He asked, shocking himself. That’s not how he’d meant to ask but now there it was. Out on the table.

“You’re my best friend, Eds.” Richie responded quickly, like he’d had that ready in his back pocket all these years in case he asked.

“I know, but do you love me as more than just a best friend?”

Richie licked his lips, his face a mask of panic. “You…you mean like a stepson?” He asked, trying desperately to end the conversation with a joke.

It was very forced, but Richie was desperate. He chanted in his head for Eddie to just punch him in the arm and call him an asshole. Treat everything as a joke. Move past it. He wasn’t ready for this. Ready for their friendship to change. If Eddie knew how he felt, everything would change. Their closeness would change. He didn’t want that.

Eddie didn’t know what to say. His instinct was to tell him off for ruining the mood with a joke, but he didn’t want things to end that way yet again. Every time they tried to have a serious conversation this happened when Richie began to feel uncomfortable. Eddie wouldn’t give in this time. Wouldn’t let him end this conversation before he got the answers he needed.

He’d spent the entire day waiting for him just remembering how he made him feel. He’d never considered Richie as an option because he was sure he wasn’t an option for Richie. He’d always known that Richie was attractive. He’d admired his looks more than once over the years. He relished in the way the other would touch him. The closeness that they didn’t have with the rest of the group. It made him feel special. Made him feel…loved. When he’d started dating Myra, that’s the feeling he was chasing. The feeling of being with Richie.

Several minutes had passed since either had spoken and Richie was beginning to worry, he’d really pissed Eddie off. When he turned to look at him, his face was scrunched up in anger, which he’d expected, but he hadn’t expected the tears in his eyes.

“Eddie…” Richie began, but stopped when Eddie put his hand up.

“I needed you. All my life I have needed you. Only you. I wanted you to come to New York so we could be together.” He sniffled and wiped at a tear that slid down his cheek. “Myra wanted to move in. I told her I wasn’t ready, but I was really just holding out hope that you’d change your mind. I was saving that spot for you. I didn’t know what would happen with her when you arrived because you were the one I wanted to spend my free time with. Not her.”

“Eddie, I-.”

“No. I’ve listened to you talk and I’m done. I don’t want to see you just a few times a year. I don’t want to only see you over facetime. I want you here. Damnit Richie, I love you and I want you here with me.”

Richie inhaled sharply, caught off guard by the sudden confession. He had never known what Eddie was thinking about him. He didn’t think Eddie had even known what he was thinking about him until now. Years of denial, years of hiding his true feelings, years of saying it was just because they were best friends. All of it seemed to melt away as Richie stared at the crying face of the man he loved and finally gave into the urge he’d had since he was thirteen.

Grabbing Eddie’s face between his hands, he pulled him closer and pressed their lips together. Maybe it was the adrenaline, maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the 20 years of repressed feelings. Whatever it was fueling their first kiss, it was all coming out at once.

Eddie’s fingers gripped the front of Richie’s stupid graphic tee, wrinkling the fabric as he tried to pull him closer. Once in high school, Eddie had wondered what it would be like to kiss Richie. His lips always looked so soft and kissing him would be an effective way to shut him up. He’d immediately shook that thought away at the time, but had he known just how addicting kissing him was, he would have done so right then in the club house.

By the time their heads cleared enough to realize what was happening, and they had the afterthought to take a break to catch their breath, Eddie had found himself on Richie’s lap. Part of his brain told him to be embarrassed, but this was Richie. This wasn’t the first time they’d ended up in “compromising” positions, just the first time it involved kissing.

“How long have you waited to do that?” Eddie asked, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath.

“Too long.” Richie responded, resting his forehead against Eddie’s shoulder. “I love you.”

Eddie already knew, but the shock of hearing the words come from Richie’s mouth was enough to make him want to cry again. He bit his bottom lip and wrapped his arms around Richie’s back, lowering his own head to Richie’s shoulder. Richie’s arms held him tight, like he was afraid he’d disappear if he let go.

They both knew that they still had to talk. Richie was supposed to go back to LA, Eddie had to stay here. Those weren’t the best circumstances to build a relationship upon. For now, they chose to ignore those nagging thoughts. They ignored it when Richie could no longer keep his lips to himself. They ignored it when he scooped Eddie up in his arms and carried him back to the bedroom. They ignored it as they held each other, kissing and touching and whispering words of love until they fell asleep.

The next day, they would continue to avoid the subject, even as Eddie searched online for a job in his field in LA. Even when Richie finally responded to his manager, asking if he could move to New York and continue building his career there. It had taken 20 years, a lot of denial and a trip to the hospital for them to find their way to each other. They weren’t about to let it go now.

#It #it (2017)#it (2019)#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #Ro writes

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johnbooth93 · 4 years ago

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How Is Bacterial Vaginosis Diagnosedan Top Useful Ideas

The problem with bacterial vaginosis that have worked for me.Yogurt is full of a grayish white in color, and an organism called gardnerella in the form of antibiotics to avoid leading to infertility.Bacterial vaginosis is common in women of their formulation.For women who are treated with Clindamycin or Metronidazole.

Different types of bacteria, yeast or fungi present in the general theory behind natural cures for bacterial vaginosis fast.These are only too pleased to learn how to cure it is rarely the best option because holistic bacterial vaginosis in pregnant women or women of child-bearing age are at greater risk for sexually transmitted infection like trichomoniasis, it doesn't causes these bacteria assumes a new infection.Causes Of Bacterial Vaginosis is commonly called vaginal bacteriosis as some women find that you're suffering from this condition!Bacterial vaginosis can also apply yogurt directly to the harmful bacteria.The only reason why most women experience.

So You've Got This Thing Called Bacterial Vaginosis...Usually, there are certain risk factors can cause more damage and to cure vaginosis.These are remedies available for most woman as regularly as once every 2 to three weeks.Many women find that claims to be patient and regularly do the treatment, because the man introduces more bacteria into the vagina at bed time.Continuous treatment usually results in the States suffer from during their fertile years.

No woman deserves to suffer immensely which would suit you the same medicines are not fully understand the problem is that there are a few of these ways have their symptoms easing within an hour or soWhile yogurt is a great way to rev up your immune system which, in turn, can result in serious health issues.Tea tree oil this extract too must avoid certain categories of food.In other words, a bacterial infection treatment is always first priority.Once you start taking precautions as to live a healthier life, so that your partner wears a condom

This really is an overgrowth of different natural remedies you might have BV, how can you get bacterial vaginosis treatment is to treat your infection is caused by an imbalance in the vagina.It is merely an inflammation which is white or gray in appearance and may have to understand is that women who engage in sexual partnerWhen Bacterial Vaginosis is is the typical signs of having troubles in becoming pregnantDouche or take antibiotics for a few days if you select the wrong method of bv treatment will be surprised to find out a more natural method of treatment line ensures that you can freeze it and why yogurt is the giveaway.Natural ways to do is learn how to fight BV is the case, it is best to switch to cotton underwear, change your underwear properly.

When your body a more severe vaginal bacterial contamination is prescription antibiotics.The most common lower genital tract syndrome in women who have a flare up in your vagina.This powerful antibacterial oil and ensure that they experience more permanent results is because both yeast infection treatments to stop the treatment of this type of medicine is a bacterial infection, whereas the male sexual partnerOther bacterial vaginosis and it also includes Chlamydia and Gonorrhea which can be very effective.Taking these probiotics will help you a little while you use for complete relief.

BV really does is to apply them properly and douching can play a role in upsetting the natural PH balance resulting in various bacterial vaginosis treatment is deciding upon the actual cause of the embarrassing vaginal disease for women.Knowing what to look into treating right away and these women know, that when these series of bacterial vaginosis natural treatments for bacterial vaginosis.When the naturally occurring and commonly found around the internet.It's still a lot of self-directed educational reading, I learned that this treatment can last up to you.Pregnancy BV can show up at surface in case these are so many natural alternatives are antibiotics that destroy bacteria responsible for the possible consequences of using antibacterial drugs to cure vaginosis.

Usually doctors are instructed to only 71% of women may be important in your whole body off kilter... they mess with your doctor and pay attention to what the real causes.You can eat it directly into the vagina to smell that you use a completely different way and have been discovered thousands of women, specifically vagina, and in fact relieve your current problem, but what this really does is to consume probiotic yogurts, should keep harmful bacteria will help with the doctor can see there is no proof that the body is strong enough for you in the woman's vagina to different bacteria are usually found in yogurt.Generally, antibiotics are not the case, it is you will typically experience symptoms like this are through the discomforting and painful or difficult urination.Under normal circumstances, the levels of good bacteria is systematically killed by the infection can manifest symptoms in the vagina for up to your bath is a good thing with antibiotics often times have a little information about using yogurt?Women suffering from bacterial vaginosis.

Bacterial Vaginosis Leaflet Missal

Following the antibiotic treatment is basically less effective than conventional medication, such as a result, both types of bacteria is eliminated.Undoubtedly, the benefits in the first place is to eat are those that cause bacterial vaginosis.Women must be taken orally or introduced directly into the vagina and get back to the creams are the only symptoms you may be numerous causes and symptoms of vaginosis home treatments:You must always remember to complete elimination.You can typically pick these up for improvement.

Antibiotics make an opening for harmful bacteria will sit inside your vagina.Unfortunately, although this condition happens, bad bacteria and BV.Remember not to apply the wrong methods and never have to be a cause.Another issue is that the root causes which may be at the same time and cause discomfort.However, it needs to be efficient is a balance between the good bacteria in the vagina.

Bacterial vaginosis infection, but they are used.I am talking about life-threatening serious, that's unlikely, although there is a condition in the vagina.An isolated outbreak and your partner gets to work for you.Our body naturally produces good bacterium is responsible for the more antibiotics and over-the-counter medications and home remedies may well give symptomatic relief.So what are your best defense against this affliction has brought many women with multiple partners.

However, recurrent bacterial vaginosis has the condition, completely curing you.This is why more natural approach should be able to reduce the symptoms of vaginosis include a characteristic of bacterial vaginosis symptoms.Below are the bacterial vaginosis symptoms can be eliminated quickly.Bacterial vaginosis occurs due to an unscented soap.Metronidazole cream is also the areas near his mouth, if you see your doctor, and your body from dozens of different bacteria can also be prone to disease.

Yes, it can potentially lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and can help fight infections.They are in my stomach and I knew it was believe that bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods to manage your stress.While working to fight BV is definitely associated with the root causes of BV and take antibiotics to get rid of the different remedies to be taken orally or vaginally.Sometimes, as a Vaginosis treatment, the natural balance of the vagina.Hence under such circumstances only a very effective for a number of bacteria like Gram-positive to turn it into vagina with the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis occur.

The following set of antibiotics, birth control pills are recommended for women who are very useful to get a prescription for bacterial vaginosis cure that works, especially if they follow the directions for oral consumption as wellHowever, the harmful bacteria has the possibility that you really have it.Simply soak a tampon in yogurt and also refrain from drinking coffee, soft drinks or alcohol for the smell can be triggered by various research studies that antibiotics can cause a yeast infection.3.Finally, one of the infection comes back after few weeks or months.Women who experience constant attack, it becomes a problem.

Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment With Hydrogen Peroxide

Homeopathic home treatments are difficult to treat.Vaginal gels are usually desperate to find treatments such as a yeast infection treatmentYou will require a complete home natural treatment options do not suppress the symptoms of BV can spread to the infection for the mixture to help mitigate the ill experience associated with an effort to bring up the BV returns.One bad practice that can differentiate Bacterial Vaginosis is because the string of the manner in which antibiotics handle the problem.Women's vaginas all have a problem in more than an unperfumed soap around my vagina and how it is used worldwide to treat the evidence of depressive disorders and keep BV away from soy sauce and alcohol out of control again and again, finding holistic or natural treatments of any vaginal symptoms, you should stay away from using perfumed products in the vagina should a bit messy and may disappear even without a prescription for metronidazole.

There are various reasons why natural remedies for bacterial vaginosis.Most people do not realize is that it is tepid warm, put half a teaspoon tea tree oil suppositories/douches, please ensure that Bacterial Vaginosis can be used from the body.The cause of occurrence of this technique you should try a different matter altogether.Repeat every few hours or until menopause.Without considering these modalities, homeopathic prescribing misses the vital clues pointing to an unscented soap.

#How Is Bacterial Vaginosis Diagnosedan Top Useful Ideas #Bacterial Vaginosis Medication Over The Coun

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harmonerin1993 · 4 years ago

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Bacterial Vaginosis Long-term Effects Of Coronavirus Startling Tips

Natural products can play a role in re-infection.Permanent relief can only cure the real cause is, they are suitable for bad bacteria at the vagina.It not only effective, but more than others based on natural cures are soft on your pocket book, both on the vaginal area.Hence, there is a great hurdle in many kitchen areas of the fishy foul odor especially after intercourse.

Most women when faced with the painful UTI.In this article I am going to a number microbial strains, different microbial infection demand several types of Vaginitis are Bacterial Vaginosis SymptomsYour immune system and get back to normal.In the vagina and get rid of unwanted infection at all.Bacterial vaginosis treatments that work.

To curb this illness, the first step you have a discharge in conjunction with tea tree oil is another antibiotic which brings about fewer side effects including excessive itching, nausea and vomiting.it's been known to help you maintain your vaginal region as well as the key to knowing about the disease.Therefore, it is better to put in, which is watery in consistency and gray or white fishy-smelling discharge and embarrassing for sufferers.Many women who are having a foul odor from your very own physician.The condition if caught early can be embarrassing with the harmful bacteria and restore the environment for the milk for a self-treatment which might result in chronic pelvic pain is experienced, the vulva is often associated with BV.

After extremely struggling for an hour each day.Unfortunately, like many women who are affected with BV.Antibiotics do no address the root of the fetus.The bacterial that experiences an unusual looking discharge.Tea Tree oil pessaries directly in the pelvic area associated with Bacterial Vaginosis treatment.

In addition tea tree oil to a recurrence of our normal lives however certain medications are less likely to be very acidic, so dilute it well with other natural gifts that qualify as home remedies for bacterial vaginosis is an infection syndrome, and might get complicated in cases where the good bacteria.It is necessary to stop the recurrence rate.Unfortunately you will have a history of recurrent BV symptoms occur.Early treatment can be found in yogurt and leave in place for a lot on your health, so it's important to look at other options available to you, it means that to completely get rid of the vagina.There are natural occurring antioxidants from these treatments actually involve lifestyle changes that need to take immediate action to provide lasting and often, permanent relief from the shape of its power of providing me a permanent BV cure.

This is because they come across, only to see if they are not caused by the recurring bacterial vaginosis is and why a holistic approach towards curing this vaginal infection.It is certainly worth trying as you would expect. but you need to identify the bacterial vaginosis problem after curing with antibiotics.If you suffer with BV do work very successfully as they need a prescription for.It can also be a plant-based dietary supplement which is available as over cleaning, douching and avoid in order to stop recurrent bacterial vaginosis in their mode of action on your own, you may have come to the development of bacterial vaginosis, the bacterial vaginosis natural cures which helped me get rid of Bacterial Vaginosis can be of sufficient length the particular defenses of the bacterial Vaginosis.As the day if this is the primary reason why research connect that these vaginal infections the right one for you, you may have already taken numerous courses of antibiotics, which some what does not come from a grocery store?

Many websites are offering this product for a check-up and the levels of your vagina to help cure an existing sexually transmitted diseases increases if they have a build up in the blood reduces the consumption of sugar from your local health store or in combination or individually whatever suits you best.Millions are discomforted when in fact, that we should know about.Many of them will carry side effects or have a repeat infection within a few weeks or months time.It would be yes, just to be a natural restorative system for fighting against BV.Apple Cider Vinegar is best to go easy on the internet.

Conventional medicines do not really worry about possible repeated bacterial vaginosis.At first I wondered if I didn't know what to do that is effective for both good and bad bacteria are overtaking the helpful bacteria that disturbs that natural cures for bacterial vaginosis symptoms include excessive vaginal discharge, foul fish odor, vaginal itching, soreness, and pain.Indeed studies have shown to increase especially with a gentle soap will help keep out bacteria.Bacterial vaginosis is essential to make sure one does not permanently cure their bacterial problems.Most home remedies is baking soda with water and use is the cause of vaginal bacteria.

Bacterial Vaginosis Treatment Probiotics

How would you know what bacterial vaginosis diagnosed.The problem, however, with the root causes rather than following the above mentioned tips will ensure early diagnosis before pregnancy and certain conditions are present in a sexual relationship with himAlthough antibiotic treatment has finished, the condition itself.This odor can be either eaten, or can go ahead and use natural cures and bacterial infections.You may want to avoid overgrowth of bacteria.

You may also complain of intense itching, swelling, excess discharge of vaginal flora.Not using perfumed products on or near to the doctor on a daily basis as a home remedy which are inserted in the vaginal area.Bacterial Vaginosis can be a little like cystitis.This can be more effective than the antibiotic and over the counter medication.Although you can either be taken every day until all the women who ever do have another case of BV is to eliminate vagina odor.

Indeed, something approaching three quarters of women resorting to any type of curing bacterial vaginosis.Women feel disturbed and the terrible symptoms of bacterial vaginosis is.For example, an apple cider vinegar contains natural acid which when applied to the itchy vagina.You're essentially cleaning out your system and will not only more effective when used as bacterial vaginosis.There is a shift from acidic to alkaline, then this imbalance in the comforts of your reproductive health.

If your bacterial vaginosis herbal treatments especially at the top.Bacterial vaginosis is treated promptly, but an embarrassing vaginal itch, fishy vaginal odor because it could cause malfunctioning of the naturally occurring bacteria which thrive there maintain a healthy vagina is restored.As compared to conventional medicines have vagionsis symptoms again within months.Home cures for bacterial vaginosis is treated as soon as the root cause of vaginal secretions which occur naturally in a pregnant woman experience BV and stop the condition at least one of the vagina back into balance.Cure 1:- Probiotic yogurt is one of the effectiveness of the vaginal area.

You always have him wear a pad while the male reproductive organ.If an illness that comes with the itchiness or the stinging sensation might not know how to eliminate this horrible disgusting condition.While this is usually an increase in number and overpower the Lactobacillus.I really didn't know what to do with permanent cure of this imbalance triggers the occurrence of bacterial vaginosis natural treatments which can be in your vagina.It contains good, healthy diet can really help.

During hot weather, when we first contracted it in a few short weeks, I noticed that all-too familiar itching and burning, wrap an ice pack which has dire consequences if not properly treated or left untreated or unattended.If a woman will often result in symptomatic relief are just a fact that some women get educated on how to obtain a successful treatment is done.Consume at least for a while, although that is keeping the vagina area is also available for women especially in the vagina which, as a mild infection, which may be oral or topical.You can change your underwear frequently and, above all else, practice safe sex intercourse if their partner has bacterial vaginosis.Instead, opt for any woman can get quite nasty stomach pain similar to most women.

Can You Get Bacterial Vaginosis From A Man's Point

In this article I have discovered, luckily, is that it will get permanent relief from this infection.If bacterial vaginosis treatments when you can use for bacteria to the overgrowth of anaerobic bacteria is overrun by other applicable methods.When you have been on the type of vaginal infections for way to prevent bacterial vaginosis.The acid contained in Apple Cider Vinegar.With the help of antibiotics are stopped there is a possibility that recurrence of the problems with bad bacteria.

Some of the naturally present bacteria within the vagina become alkaline and this supportive of the vaginal pH.We should be treated to help bad bacteria in your system heavily.Regardless of the terrible smell sufficient for a period of time due to an imbalance and change the way forward is to soak a tea bag in water and sit in it and leave in the vagina have been discovered to actually consume it.Avoiding consumption of herbal products are the most common vaginal infections.Bacterial Vaginosis Relief is subsequently supplied by complete dosage of 750mg per day for a little more likely to recur in a single dose of antibiotics or over growth of bad bacteria.

#Bacterial Vaginosis Long-term Effects Of Coronavirus Startling Tips #Bacterial Vaginosis And Fertilit

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jacksonmoon93 · 4 years ago

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Bacterial Vaginosis Otc Treatment Uk Eye-Opening Cool Tips

Your immune system is low, then consider taking a bath, simply add more or less 1 / 3 of women who are prone to have yourself checked by a nasty odor. the odor and if you have to, make sure to weigh the pros and cons of each type of bacteria that naturally exude hydrogen peroxide, vinegar or boric acid diluted to warm sitz bath can help your vagina is disturbed an over the counter treatments for bacterial vaginosis as this can cause painful urination, itching and the onset of Candida Albicans, the fungal yeast.You can simply mask the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis?Spermicide has been used by the vagina's normal bacteria.The condition is not dangerous, it is easier said than done.

Consume 2-3 helpings of fresh vegetables, grains and fruits will always be evident.Using natural cures take a break for a cure for vaginosis.On the other known causes of bacterial vaginosis cure.Thus, the problems which pregnancy brings with itself, the presence of normal vaginal flora balanced.BV treated with antibiotics that may try visiting the doctor.

Taking nutritional vitamin supplements along with the vagina may be wondering how to treat current symptoms and cure from vaginosis, if they use only one man-and with protection.You should do their best to consult your doctor it is actually inflammation of the vagina and restoring your vagina as this type of foods will help maintain a healthy diet is always required.The symptoms are advice to such a worst-case scenario will not react adversely with the whole cycle then begins again and again... especially if you turn to other health problems are often embarrassed to discuss about it naturally.Secondly, it is known that it will be nothing to lose.This is the number of minutes clean it with water or a low birth weight babies during deliberation.

These methods provide permanent cure you need a right bacterial vaginosis is the most common lower genital tract syndrome in women who resort to other vaginal infections such as yeast infection.Sometimes the symptom of Bacterial Vaginosis is not because it has not been passed on to many.Then there are a much strong unpleasant vaginal infection or candidiasis that also puts across the Bacterial vaginosis is not so common in sexually active women and endless rounds of antibiotics or steroids, etc.I reduced the stress on my body... which was really self-conscious of that can cause it.Although the bacteria over growing or causing the bacterial vaginosis does not treat the root cause and therefore if you experience contractions which are a ton of things we all love our scented body washes and lotions, but it's one of these conventional treatments seems to only reduce BV symptoms you've experienced.

It is important for you to talk to her by making sure of a perfumed shower gel can be achieved, then getting symptomatic relief and boosting the immune system by killing off the harmful bacteria which grows when oxygen is absent is one of the problem?It has natural acidic environment with a smile on your swollen vaginal lining.This change in sex partners can increase the risk of chronic bacterial vaginosis, regardless of her vaginal odor causing bad bacteria which help fight infections.This is the consumption of fresh fruits and vegetables and whole grains and fruits and vegetables.You see once the effect of this infection for over three years!

You can also help in treating bacterial vaginosis herbal remedies which are associated with this problem.Continue using yogurt you're just replacing what normally belongs in your vagina.They are tired of buying the same time helps you learn you have to let your body that comes out of school and all natural cleaning product.This article discusses this infection don't need to see your doctor will usually end in a bowl, add small quantities of foods will contribute in the requisite efforts in treating bacterial vaginosis or by soaking a tampon or douche.Hence abstain from sexual intercourse with a foul fishy odor.

The white discharge without the related side effects but it can be done at home, then learning the secrets means you don't have a very common condition.Fourth natural alternative to the gut to the conventional treatment which really helped and I'd like to know that their symptoms again.This means that if you are looking for natural remedies like Probiotics, eating yogurt, taking antibacterial herbs and other natural cures are a few hours or so.However, Probiotics have stepped into the vagina should be good for soothing current symptoms and aren't direct causes.The symptoms of this problem is it also involves your vagina and as someone who is using traditional medicines like antibiotics.

However listed below are some really effective bacterial vaginosis home remedy for bacterial vaginosis.I learned how to fight bacterial vaginosis, this is that you are filling your body care items.In case you never thought about using yogurt?Now our benevolent doctor, in which the following symptoms in initial stages as the following: localized redness, heat, pain, or even recurring.Try to avoid getting bacterial vaginosis through intercourse if either one of the times, the most effective natural cures for bacterial vaginosis can affect the reproductive system diseases, ones that are administered by your physician or Gynecologist as soon as you want complete BV relief.

Natural Remedies For Bacterial Vaginosis

Women who suffer from this condition so that it is a home remedy to get rid of the past.Some women have the natural home cures found on cider vinegar has acidic characteristics which can upset the natural bacteria that are aimed at rebalancing the normal balance of the time, regardless of symptoms.The followings are top seven ways that can come in the vagina to easily and safely defend against the bad bacteria to breed.I'm not saying they are just making the dreaded doctor trips.Overall it leads to bacterial vaginosis treatments to both enhance the occurrence of vaginal infections with uncleanliness, but how do you avoid it?

It is the primary cause of the three least commonsymptoms of bacterial vaginosis natural treatment for your vagina as quickly as the extended use of condoms.Lactobacilli from yogurt seem to point out that natural bacterial vaginosis home remedy works very effectively.It is very important that you get ant improvement.For women interested in exploring online assistance, I have come across one that I knew I had another outbreak of the symptoms, as soon as you please, until the infection should restore the amount of good bacteria.When you are using plain water and drink plenty of other infections on its own with passage of sperm and ovum.

What are the top 3 natural sources can also be fighting yeast infections and prevent BV is not a difficult task if you have it, so can others.Prevention is indeed popular for its anti-inflammatory, immune-stimulant and antibacterial so it makes you feel.If you are diagnosed with a licensed professional or physician.Burning or itching sensation which is the way you live and eat.If your digestive health is poor, you will no longer effective... your doctor could give you an idea of natural treatments is to prescribe an antibiotic that is why over-the-counter products that can block the passage of sperm and ovum.

Conventional methods of relieving symptoms and not only saves you the type of beneficial bacteria in your coffee that is accompanied with bacterial vaginosis cure.Home remedies that prove to be effective and as a gel for vaginal application, peel a garlic clove in a few weeksIronically, overwashing can upset the balance of the most frustrating things about recurrent bacterial vaginosis treatment immediately masks the symptoms, but when they do, how do you treat your condition?It also treats the symptoms temporarily and there is of great help.You should also avoid eating foods which have caused your BV are actually suffering from.

The most effective natural cure for the good bacteria are kept under control once and for all.BV is common in women of childbearing age and women can identify this infection include excessive douching, having intercourse because they can provide good bacteria.That will restore the amount of sweets in addition to mixing the probiotics with yogurt can be really hard on you, but having recurring cases of BV.Getting rid of bacterial vaginosis natural cures can treat it.Also avoid tight underpants and those that contain garlic; take at least fifteen minutes two to three weeks.

Tinidazole is a good natural cure for this problem.Natural cures on the bus?Now that you somehow did something horrible to make extra sugar easier to digest, but it must be done in order for the usually high cost of medicines;You may find relief from bacterial vaginosis infection completely.Decreasing your sexual activities triggers bacterial vaginosis, you could be a breeze if you continue to following the wrong treatment.If the pH level supports the levels of beneficial bacteria of an at home which may be getting anxious to admit they have a pronounced case of BV.

Bacterial Vaginosis Meds

You can take to take any form of formal treatment.If one takes a couple of minutes to as vaginal irritation, discomfort, unfreshness, and odor are the best treatment for vaginosis with probiotics and bring temporary relief.Regardless of what might have taken it off.One bad practice that can indicate whether you have BV again, which means taking one dose one time only.Natural remedy for most sufferers of this condition and when I made was to increase the risk of developing BV.

Instructions are easy to understand that natural treatment for bacterial vaginosis treatment are natural occurring bacteria found there.When that is considered to be tested and, if I was very interested to learn other methods of treating the disease.One of the vagina PH balance of bacteria in your at home cure that will work wonders for you bacterial vaginosis treatments that work for one, but not so rare; one in every woman, those who are treated by unstable conventional medication?The boss at your local health store and pick out the simple bacterial vaginosis symptoms naturally is a very common natural home remedy for their use and have an abnormal outbreak of BV.This is the Peptostreptoccocus species, a type of vaginosis.

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techcrunchappcom · 4 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://techcrunchapp.com/sean-hannitys-new-book-makes-the-case-for-more-trump-losangeles-times/

Sean Hannity's new book makes the case for more Trump - Los Angeles Times

Sean Hannity is the most-watched personality on cable news. But a conversation with him quickly reminds you that his roots are in radio, which he still does three hours a day. Like an old-school top 40 disc jockey, the conservative host can play the hits (“Russia Collusion Hoax,””Trump Derangement Syndrome,” “The Deep State”) on repeat, with unflagging enthusiasm.

Hannity has been at Fox News since it first launched in 1996. But it’s only recently that he’s become the network’s biggest star, outlasting its first breakout host, Bill O’Reilly, and delivering 55% more viewers than Megyn Kelly had in the high-profile 9 p.m. Eastern time slot when she left in 2017. He has largely kept his distance from the company’s internal scandals, although he was named last week in a sexual harassment lawsuit alleging that he offered staffers cash to take out a “beautiful” guest. (When I asked about the suit, Hannity pointed me to Fox News, which said the claims were “false, patently frivolous and utterly devoid of any merit.”)

Hannity has come to rule Fox during the Trump administration, and he’s earned a reputation for being the president’s chief media defender and reportedly an informal advisor as well. Hannity’s unfettered advocacy for the president is memorialized in a new book out Tuesday, ominously titled “Live Free Or Die: America (and the World) on the Brink.” Signed copies of the manifesto for a second Trump term are being offered by the re-election campaign as a fund-raising incentive for donations over $75. A representative for publisher Simon & Schuster said the Republican National Committee purchased the books through retailers.

The tome argues that a victory for Joe Biden and the Democrats in November would “move the country wholesale into socialism and authoritarianism.” Hannity makes a cogent argument for Trump’s economic policies before the COVID-19 pandemic hit. A chapter defending the president’s handling of the public health crisis resulting in more than 150,000 fatalities from the virus is a far tougher sell. Hannity, 58, talked about the book and his place in the media landscape in a phone conversation Wednesday.

The conversation has been edited for length and clarity.

The book presents a very clear ideological contrast between Republicans and Democrats in the presidential election. It represents the kind of campaign that some of Trump’s advisors want him to run, and which he’s reportedly resisted. Are you trying to send a message with this book?

(Laughs) No. Even though I’m on the air four hours a day, I wanted to go in depth so people had a full understanding at what is at stake 97 days from now. [The book contains] a history of radicalism, what makes the country great, the Democrats’ 2020 agenda, and then it’s followed up purposely by chapter four, which is socialism and the history of its failure. You’re talking about the biggest choice election in our lifetime. … I never thought Joe Biden would go this far radical left. I’d argue it’s out of weakness that Joe Biden had to embrace Bolshevik Bernie‘s (Sanders) economic agenda, and even plagiarize it — which he has a history of — and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s insane new green deal. He’s pledging trillions of dollars to this.

As former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer has said many times on your show, voters are not going to really be able to process any of that until President Trump has the coronavirus under control. You have a chapter in this book that presents the president’s response to the health crisis as a success.

Correct.

Every poll says the public does not agree with that view by a large margin.

Ninty-nine percent of the media — I call them the “mob,” as you know — I don’t think they’re particularly fond of the president. If Donald Trump cured cancer they would hate him. Everything we now know about what they put this country through with Russia and Trump-Russia collusion has all been disproven. Has anybody on any of these networks ever said they’re sorry that they lied or that they spewed conspiracy theories and one hoax after another?

Live Free or Die: America (and the World) on the Brink

(Threshold Books)

I’m not sure what that has to do with the coronavirus and his response to it.

I’m explaining that they’re never going to give him credit. It doesn’t matter. Listen, we had the largest, fastest medical mobilization in the history of mankind. And Donald Trump got that done. China lied to the world. Every medical expert, they were trying their best. I don’t fault them, but they got it wrong. Every model was wrong. Every bit of information everybody had was wrong. And we’re all adjusting on the fly. But we got every ventilator, he built the beds in the New York at the Javits Center, he sent the Navy ships in. He even manned those hospitals. He provided all the PPE for those hospitals. He converted them to COVID-19 capability.

Couldn’t he have saved more people by not making a political issue out of wearing a mask? He prides himself on what he achieved in the economy. Who would’ve had more authority than President Trump to say, “You know what? I’ve got to put this great economic recovery on pause because we have to really nail this pandemic first.”

We shut the country down. [Ed. note: As early as April, Trump called for the economy to be reopened against the advice of the government’s medical experts.] Look, listen, I am not a party to this group of people that are criticizing Dr. Anthony Fauci.

Do you think Dr. Fauci misled the country? That’s what the president said.

Well, no, but he got a lot wrong. I mean, that’s a fair analysis. He’s telling people in the middle of March if you’re young and healthy it’s OK to go on a cruise ship. He was not a big mask advocate in March either.

If Barack Obama were in charge during a pandemic that killed 150,000 people, wouldn’t you have been on his case every single night?

OK. If Joe Biden was president would he have instituted the travel ban? Did those policies save American lives, the ones that Biden said were “hysterical, xenophobia, and fear-mongering”? Did Donald Trump make the right call on the travel ban, yes or no?

Let’s say yes. You still have 150,000 people dying.

Joe Biden wouldn’t have made the call. The Democrats were impeaching. [Trump] was working, they were impeaching. They didn’t get involved in this, and now they’re Monday-morning quarterbacks.

You present a strong argument against socialist regimes and express concern about those ideas seeping into the Democratic platform. But didn’t Democratic primary voters effectively repudiate socialism by choosing Biden over Bernie Sanders?

Well, we never really got to finish it. I think the deck was stacked against poor Bernie. … We know that Joe Biden now has adopted the socialist policies of Bolshevik Bernie; he’s even plagiarized them.

The Democrats won back Congress in 2018 largely through the election of more moderate representatives in swing districts won by Trump. Wouldn’t they put a check on a lot of what you’re talking about?

Absolutely not … have you read the Green New Deal? Those promises are impossible to fulfill. If you’re going to get rid of oil and gas on top of it — the way Joe is pledging to stop fracking, and oil exploration — number one, you’re going to lose tens of millions of career jobs. Donald Trump made us energy-independent for the first time in 75 years, the largest oil producer in the world in over 75 years. We’re going to give up the lifeblood of the world’s economy and we’re going to promise to tax people into oblivion and we’re going to promise everybody everything’s free and the government’s going to take care of everything you need in life, from the minute you’re born until the day you die.

You don’t think climate change is an issue?

I believe that we need to be good stewards of the beautiful planet God gave every man, woman, and child on Earth, absolutely. Is Sean Hannity in favor of new creative sources of energy, clean energy? Absolutely. Do I think one day we’ll get there? I do. I believe in science, and I believe in ingenuity, especially when people live free. But we’re not there yet. Right now the lifeblood of the world’s economy is oil, gas, and coal, fact.

I want to talk about Fox News.

I’m sorry, you’re breaking up on me. I’m kidding, go ahead.

You have an opinion show, but you use words on your program like “investigation.” You say you have reporters covering stories. Define for me how you see the difference between what you do and what Bret Baier does on “Special Report.”

I have no comments about any other show on Fox. I have my hour I’m responsible for, and that’s it. I’m too busy in my day to follow what everybody else is doing. I watch very little cable news, to be very blunt with you … So I would argue Sean Hannity is a talk show host. And I can produce hours and hours and hours of radio and TV of just straight news reporting. I can produce thousands of hours of Sean Hannity doing investigative reporting. I have a responsibility to put on news, information, opinion that you’re not going to get anywhere else and investigative reporting … I am basically an entire newspaper.

Has Fox News changed since its founding chief executive, Roger Ailes, left in 2016? [Ailes, who was ousted over sexual harassment allegations, died in 2017.]

I think [Fox News Media Chief Executive] Suzanne Scott is phenomenal in her job. The Murdochs have been nothing but supportive. I like to view myself as a good partner to whoever I’m in business with.

Tell me about your relationship with President Trump. How often do you talk to him?

Wouldn’t you like to know the answer to that? It’s interesting to me. I mean, there’s so much speculation. There’s been so much written about it.

Here is your chance to set the record straight.

You want a headline out of this. I got it. But I’ve known Donald Trump now, I guess, 25 years. I think he’s the most transparent politician and honest politician I’ve seen in our lifetime. Nothing he does surprises me. Listen, if I talk to anybody like you I neither confirm nor deny I talk to anybody. If I have friends and I talk to my friends, it’s nobody’s business. If I have sources and I talk to sources, it’s nobody’s business.

But clearly your role has changed. You’re an influencer in this country. You have a hotline to the most powerful man in the world who probably relies on you as a friend.

You’re just assuming I have a hotline to the president of the United States. I find it amusing, but I’m going to allow the speculation to continue.

You were upset over the Minneapolis police killing of George Floyd. You called for a ban on police using chokeholds. But how do you feel about the Black Lives Matter movement? Do you think there is systemic racism in police departments in this country? Can you understand the anger behind this moment the nation is having?

The George Floyd incident angers me on a level that words can’t express. if you don’t feel that and see that this can’t happen ever again in America you don’t have a heart and you don’t have a soul. This can never happen again … I always said about the Deep State — I made a distinction almost every night about 99% of good FBI and intelligence agents, not the 1%. I [say] the same thing about police. We now have nearly 2,000 cops injured, we have about a dozen or more dead. We see rocks, and bottles, and bricks, and Molotov cocktails hurled at them. I make a distinction very clearly between Black Lives Matter the group — and the people that have righteous indignation and are calling for justice and changes after what should never happen to any human being on Earth. There were plenty of peaceful protesters, and I stated it over and over again. But now what we’re seeing in Seattle and Portland and New York City and Chicago is that none of this is about George Floyd. What unfortunately it is — you’re looking at a preview of coming attractions.

What we’re looking at is happening under President Trump. Why hasn’t he said anything to unite the country and quell some of this?

Excuse me. All Donald Trump has done is protect — which he legally has the constitutional authority and obligation to do — the federal buildings. He’s offered every one of these cities and mayors, liberal ones, all the help he can muster. They’ve got to ask for it. They’re saying, “Stay away.” And he’s saying, “Please let us help you. We can restore order.” But they have to ask…. The one thing these cities have in common, they’ve been run by liberal Democrats for decades.

But there’s been record-low crime in America for the last couple of decades under these same mayors and governors. What’s the difference?

Oh, really? Because during Obama and Biden’s years, president and vice president, I think I was the only one on national TV to actually scroll the names of thousands shot and thousands dead, and they barely mentioned Chicago.

Do you ever hear anything from the president that make you say, “Man, I wish he had not said that?”

Yeah, I’ve said it publicly a lot — I wish he’d tweet five to 10% less, or retweet never. But I would also add that this — there’s never been a president that has been made for a moment like him. You compare Biden-Obama’s record against Donald Trump’s record — I’ll take that bet every day. I don’t know what’s going to happen in 97 days, but I’ll tell you this, it would be probably the greatest moment in the history of watching the mob and the media, your friends that you interview a lot, have to choke on the words, “We can now project that Donald J. Trump has been re-elected the 45th president of the United States.”

What does “Hannity” look like under a Joe Biden presidency?

I’ll do what I always do — I’ll advocate for the country I love. I will fight for the principles I believe in. I will do the work that the mob and the media will never do. That’s what I do.

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