#is that they’re caps on top of his real teeth
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nasty little creature
#my favorite thing about the gold fangs. the thing that just kills me#is that they’re caps on top of his real teeth#people out in the wasteland see big mean inhuman teeth? that’s gonna get unwanted attention.#make yourself look like a douchebag with eccentric taste and an ego the size of the moon? well.#folks will think you’re an asshole but it puts you in less danger.#avery#autumn art#I exaggerate the eye color in doodles for funsies but realistically they look Strange but not quite alarming#you’d double take but it’s not often strangers get too curious.#stained sclera doesn’t seem like the kind of thing to set off most wastelanders. the reflective layer on his eyes#is only smthn you’d notice in such specific situations I think he can coast most of the time#I do think he’s more offputting to strangers than Wes is but#yk#there are a great many strange things out in the wasteland.#you could argue the same principle can be applied to the teeth sans gold caps#but there’s an argument for being especially wary of anti mutant bias#and stained sclera can be the result of chem use and/or radiation poisoning#I will shut up now goodnight
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kind of a rouge prompt idea but “i just told a story at work about my childhood that i thought was really funny but now everyone is super quiet and someone said i’m so sorry” but it’s jamie + the team edition. like he talks about a traumatising James Thing and has no idea how horrifying it is until they’re all like …… wtf
love your writing! <3
Thanks for the prompt (and the lovely compliment)!
I’ll preface this by saying I have next to no knowledge of dentistry and you should not assume any medical assertions made here are correct.
((I also feel like I should add that I finished this one off while more than a little tipsy.))
Enjoy the himbo chaos.
(Prompt Fill Masterpost)
—
“Ay, dios mio, it was terrifying.” Dani put an emphatic hand to his chest. “Earl. He still haunts me.”
“Thought you were over that, bruv.” Isaac frowned up at him from his usual spot on the locker bench.
“On the pitch, yes. But at night…” Dani shook his head mournfully. “I have dreams of being chased in the dark. I know it is him.”
“I used to have dreams like that.” Colin piped up, pausing in tying his laces and looking haunted. “‘Cept it was my nana chasing me, on her mobility scooter.”
A few people sniggered and Isaac clapped Colin’s shoulder. “That’s fucked up.”
“I never remember my dreams,” Sam mused. “But I have always been a very deep sleeper. My father says I was the envy of all other parents when I was a baby.”
“I have only ever had one nightmare.” Richard declared. “All of my beautiful little teeth fell out of my mouth and I was ugly. Who will kiss me if I have no teeth?”
“Who’s losing teeth?” Jamie asked, joining the conversation from the doorway with a furrowed brow.
“We are discussing nightmares,” Jan explained matter-of-factly, then turned back to Richard. “Dreams about losing teeth are commonly attributed to stress.”
Jamie shook his head, still looking confused.
“Nah, don’t get that one, mate. Your dentist can just stick ‘em right back in, can’t they?”
That sparked a round of horrified protests and Jamie flapped his hands like a conductor to quiet the rabble.
“Eh, eh, I’m right!”
“Actually…” Sam held up his phone, open on an NHS webpage. “Jamie is correct.”
The locker room erupted into disgust and outrage while Jamie grinned smugly and tipped his I,COG cap to Sam for the assist.
“Hold on, how did you know that?” Isaac demanded, staring at Jamie like he had two heads. That quietened the team a little as heads swivelled in Jamie’s direction.
“Knocked two of ‘em out when I were, like, 10.” He shrugged and tapped a fingernail against one of his front teeth in demonstration. “Mum’s friend were a dental nurse. Told her to put them in some milk and take me to hospital.”
“You were very lucky.” Sam commented, still scrolling through the information he had found. “A significant gap in your teeth can lead to premature ageing.”
“And what a tragedy that would have been, eh?” Jamie beamed, gesturing to his face. “To think I might have deprived the world of this top tier mug.”
Other players groaned and laughed, a few tossing socks or discarded shirts in Jamie’s direction while he ducked, sniggering.
“How do you know they gave you your real teeth back?” Bumbercatch questioned, with an air that suggested great suspicion of the dentistry profession as a whole.
Jamie considered that. “Fair point,” he conceded. “They feel like mine, though.”
“Wait, how do you even manage to lose two teeth at once?” Colin interjected, muffled by his fingers as he prodded his own mouth in confusion. “I’ve never lost any after my baby teeth.”
“Took a snooker cue to the face.” The team winced as a collective and Jamie nodded sagely. “Were pretty grim. Blood all over the pub floor and everything.”
“You were 10?” Thierry clarified, face scrunched up. “Do kids normally get into bar fights here?”
“Well, yeah, s’pose not.” Jamie shuffled in place, suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable. “Weren’t a fight so much. Dad took me in to watch a match and it all kicked off a bit.”
An uneasy quiet overtook the general hubbub and more than one face went stony at that revelation.
“Mate.” Jeff looked like he’d rather not be the one probing further, but had bitten the bullet anyway. “Your, uh, your dad wasn’t the one with the pool cue, was he?”
“Eh…” Jamie glanced around the room before answering. “Well, yeah. He was. But I’m, like, 90% sure it were an accident.”
Chaos detonated like a bomb.
Isaac and Richard jumped to their feet, one cursing in French, the other demanding to know how long it would take to get to Manchester. Colin seemed to be googling train times.
Dani had taken to rifling through his bag, looking for god knows what, and Thierry was strapping on his mask like it was war paint (he didn’t even need it anymore, he just liked looking scary).
Jan was a terrifyingly silent pillar in the middle of the storm and Sam… Well, Sam looked like he had been gutted.
“OI!” Roy’s bellow commanded immediate silence, players freezing mid-shout. He was framed by the door to the coaches’ office, arms crossed and typical glare set in place. “What the fuck is going on out here?”
“Close ranks!” Jamie all but squeaked, invoking a hallowed, sacred vow from the team to collectively shut the fuck up.
All eyes turned to Issac who, as captain, had the final say.
On balance, he decided it was probably best that their new manager didn’t get arrested for murder before the season even got underway.
“Agreed.” he finally acquiesced and the whole room affirmed their compliance sullenly. It just wasn’t worth the forfeit to cave in under Roy’s (very effective) glare.
“... right then.” Roy finally allowed, still looking at them all suspiciously. “Then get out on the pitch and stop wasting our time.”
Everyone clamoured towards the tunnel, eager to escape the intense atmosphere. All except Jamie, who was still hurriedly pulling on his kit.
He tried not to seize up when Roy sidled over.
“You’ll tell me later.”
It wasn’t phrased as a question and Jamie knew better than to take it as one. He slumped in defeat.
“Yeah. Probably.”
#is it crack!fic or is it just afc richmond#who's to say#fic prompts#fic prompt#my fic#jamie tartt#isaac mcadoo#colin hughes#sam obisanya#moe bumbercatch#dani rojas#jan mass#jeff goodman#richard montlaur#roy kent#ted lasso#richmond himbos
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The Anthology - Prologue
Artwork by @faith2nyc Read on AO3 He really should be paying more attention. The thought crosses Steve’s mind as he listens to the directors take a question from the vast crowd gathered before them. What the question is about, though, he couldn’t say. By all accounts, he’s very much aware of what a privilege it is to be teasing an upcoming project at, of all places, the legendary Hall H of Comic Con. And while he’s grateful for the opportunity, and even more so for the palpable enthusiasm of the fans in the room, with this being their third promotional engagement of the day, the banal inquiries have grown cumbersome.
They couldn’t even really talk about the project, anyway. Not with the studio’s policy of devout secrecy when it comes to the plot. What details he and his colleagues could divulge about the scope of the movie have been so extremely limited that he’s surprised that not only have they been able to keep this panel going for the last hour, but also that the crowd hasn’t tired of the non-answers they’re being given.
It's with that fact that he’s able to extinguish what guilt he’s feeling about his lack of interest at the moment. With another glance at the crowd before him, he carefully slides the napkin that was once underneath his coffee cup to his left, and from the corner of his eye, he catches the way his costar takes her bottom lip between her teeth, trying to suppress a smile as she looks down at the table to see the grid he’d hastily drawn. Natasha clicks down on the top of the pen she’s been twirling between her fingers, scribbling an X on the centermost square before pushing the napkin back towards him.
“This question is for Natasha,” the panel’s mediator announces. “What do you think of Captain America and Black Widow being paired together for this film? Doesn’t it seem like an odd partnership considering that morally, these characters exist on opposite ends of the spectrum?” “I guess you’ll just have to see the movie to find out,” Natasha quips without missing a beat, eliciting a laugh from both the crowd and their castmates. He rolls his lips to keep from beaming. Such a professional. “But in all seriousness,” she continues, “I think these characters have a lot to learn from each other. Cap very much lives in black and white and Widow is highly comfortable operating in the gray, but as you'll see in the film, with the challenges they face, they’re both going to have to learn to be comfortable in each other’s moral spheres. So, yeah, an interesting dynamic to see play out for sure.” “Now that we’re on the topic of dynamics,” the mediator says. “In the teaser that was played exclusively for us today, we find Cap and Widow looking like they’re on an undercover mission. Widow is doing her thing, Cap is looking uncomfortable but also really… entranced by her, maybe?” He pauses as the crowd voices their agreement. “What do you think, Steve? Is this where Cap finally finds his perfect partner?” “Well… our Executive Producer, Kevin, looks just about ready to tranq dart me, so I’m going to pass on that last question,” he says as another fit of laughter echoes throughout the room. “But one thing I will say is, this is a whole new world for Cap. It hasn’t been that long since he was in the ice, so to see someone like Widow who’s so quick on her feet and razor-sharp in her environment, yeah, I think you could say he’s entranced, if not completely in awe.” “Interesting that you say that because even with what little we saw, it’s obvious that Cap and Widow have sizzling chemistry…” The crowd begins to hoot, and the mediator smiles like a cat that’s caught the canary. Here we go. “Could that have anything to do with your chemistry with Natasha in real life? I mean, I think I speak for everyone here today when we say that we’ve noticed.” The crowd cheers, cajoling him for an answer, and when he steals a glance at Natasha, he finds that she’s turned his way as well, an amused expression on her face. “It’s true, you guys are noticing something…” he begins as he turns back to the crowd. “And that’s Natasha being absolutely tremendous at her job.” A chorus of laughter reverberates in the hall before the mediator turns to Natasha. “Is that true, Natasha? Is movie magic all this is?” “Oh, for sure,” Natasha says, her tone serious even as her smile says she’s anything but. “Have you seen him? Who wants to be close to this” – she gestures towards him – “all damn day?” She scoffs. “It’s a chore.” He tips his head back, one hand flying to his chest as he laughs along with the entire room. Next to him, Natasha just shakes her head. “But no, Steve and I are great friends. That’s all you’re seeing there.”
“Great job out there, both of you,” Kevin says when they finally make it backstage after signing autographs at the end of the panel. “You had them eating out of the palm of your hands! You guys are total pros and I’m so glad you’re friends. Makes my job a lot easier, that’s for damn sure.” “We aim to please, boss,” Natasha says with a two-fingered salute. “And please you do,” Kevin says. “And as a show of my gratitude for soldiering through a full day of promo, why don’t you two take the rest of the day off? Grab dinner or something. On me.” He turns to Natasha. “I’m game if you are.” “I think I can free up my evening,” she confirms. “But I do have to grab my purse in the back.” “I’ll leave you two to it then,” Kevin says. With a final nod at their producer, they begin to head back towards the green room where the cast was gathered prior to the beginning of the panel. The walk takes longer than usual as they stop to greet familiar faces and pause for conversations and pictures with excited fans, but he doesn’t mind. He didn’t hold any love for extended press conferences, but this part of the job – meeting the people who his work resonated deeply with – is one he holds dear. “Where do you want to go?” Natasha asks once they make it back to the room and she walks over to the corner to retrieve her purse. He looks around the empty room before following close behind her. “Don’t care,” he mutters, causing her to turn. His hands find her waist then, and she gasps in surprise when he pulls her close and slants his lips over hers in a kiss that’s nothing short of a claim. Her purse falls to the ground with a thud, but neither of them pay it any mind as she snakes her arms around his neck. There’s an amused smile on Natasha’s lips when they eventually pull away, the both of them heaving for air. “What was that for?” “This…” he says, his fingers toying with the hem of the colorful chiffon blouse she has on underneath her blazer, giving him just a glimpse of her skin through the material. “Has been driving me crazy all day.” “That was kind of the point,” she says, a devious smirk painting her lips. He narrows his eyes at her. “And here I was about to make it up to you,” he says, watching as she raises a brow up in question. He grins. “You know, seeing how working with me is such a chore.” “It really is,” she laments jokingly, causing them both to chuckle. She trails her hands up his arms, feeling his biceps through his sweater as she looks up at him from underneath the fan of her lashes. “And it’s going to take a lot more than dinner to convince me otherwise.” “Is that right?” he asks, watching a glint spark in her eyes. “In that case, your place or mine?”
The Anthology Masterlist | Chapter 1
#Romanogers#The Anthology#Captain America#Black Widow#steve x natasha#Movie Star AU#Alternate Universe#the tortured poets department#the tortured poets department: the anthology
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Bonfire
Okay I'm not gonna lie this came out so fucking cute that I'm over here looking at this man when I'm usually not an Author simp.
Author (Alric) x GN!Reader, TW: fire, casual drinking Words: 652
Alric piles up the large pieces of wood on the sand as you sit on one of the logs he dragged over for you. He seems rather invested into the process of making the pyre, getting real into collecting the sticks around the campsite.
“Living out your childhood aspirations of building a giant fire? Or are you pleasing your inner child by collecting sticks that look weird?”
“Babe, I carry a bat with me everywhere. If you really think I didn’t collect sticks as a kid, you got a rock for a brain.”
You laugh, holding onto his bat so it doesn’t roll into the pile. Whenever he steps near you, he ruffles your hair or kisses the top of your head. Once the pyre is up to his standards, he stands back like a proud midwestern dad after mowing his lawn.
“Can you hand me a beer?”
“Sure, but I would’ve thought you’d want one after the fire’s lit?”
“Oh it’s not for me.”
He pops the bottle cap off the beer and pours it onto the wood, watching it sink into the wood before pulling out his lighter. It takes a couple flicks before he gets a flame, and sets it to the beer soaked kindling and watches it spark to life.
“And one last thing you need, is a fire stick.”
Alric leans down, picking up a long branch that’s even taller than him. He takes his pocket knife, peeling back the bark at one end and charring it in the fire as the alcohol burns away.
“You just really like sticks, don’t you.”
“What gave you that idea, babe?”
He grins, laughing as you throw sand at him. You get out another beer for him, setting out some things to roast on the fire on the top of the cooler.
“Well, great Master of Sticks, can you find us a couple of good roasting ones?”
“Nah, we ain’t doing that the analogue way. I don’t want fucking sand in my hotdog if I can help it. I brought the nice ones.”
Out of his pack he pulls out a couple of extending metal roasting sticks, passing one to you as he sits next to you on the log. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close as the two of you watch the fire.
“I’m glad we got to do this. Big ol’ fire, love of my life under my arm, and a beer in my hand. Nothing better than this.”
“How about we get a fire pit from the hardware store, just so we don’t have to drive every time you wanna be a pyromaniac?”
“But I like our drives out here!”
Alric laughs, but you can tell he’s touched by the offer. He rubs your arm, taking a swig of his beer.
“I’m down for making our little fire nights a regular thing as long as you are. Although I guess you wouldn’t have offered it if you didn’t want to…”
“There’s a different kind of special that comes with doing things out on a trip, versus at home, but they’re both special if they’re with you.”
He blushes, not expecting sweet words.
“C’mon babe, you’re not making it easy to stay sexy and mysterious over here…”
“Maybe I like it when my cocky ass boyfriend goes all soft for me, and only me.”
You kiss his cheek and he genuinely smiles at you, stealing a marshmallow from around you and putting it between his teeth. He raises an eyebrow at you, leveling his mouth with yours.
“You fucking goober…”
You laugh as you bite the marshmallow, taking half and letting yourself get dragged into a kiss. He’s short and sweet with it, enjoying how the light dances in your eyes in a way that makes him not want to look away.
“You’re too good for me.”
“I think you’re better than you think.”
#the author#the author markiplier#the author x reader#danger in fiction#markiplier egos#bat smack#chaoswrites
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very messy word dump below the cut + in tags :^) heh
okay it’s officially been a full day since reading this and i’m going to write down everything i remember feeling from day 1! and then in the tags im going to reread this (for the third time within 24 hours) and add thoughts that i didn’t put down here. SORRY FOR THE MESS & NO PRESSURE TO READ ALL THIS SJKDMF IT IS JUST A LOT OF WORD VOMIT BC IM INSANE OVER THIS FIC
okay i should start from the beginning. Wait I’ll use caps so it’s easier to read if you’re reading it bahahhaa OKAY. The way you write alpha / omega!!! It’s different from what I’m used to reading— and I mean it has a lot of a depth. The way you wrote reader being an alpha = being so protective over Aventurine fucked me up so bad /pos. Reader just wants him safe and they’re so real for that.
Going off on that, I LOVE HOW U WROTE THE READER. Understands Aventurine so well. Will literally do anything to keep him safe. Understands what sets him off and what he’s comfortable with. The part where Aventurine was talking about the next mission & reader seeing right through him ): are you serious /pos. WAIT I SKIPPED TOO FAR AHEAD. When Aventurine was trying to get reader to join the IPC? Dead. Evie DEAD. Reader saw right through him omg. Being able to notice the little changes in his scent, the way he tries to mask it etc etc. I love that so bad.
WHEN READER FOUND HIM IN HEAT FUUUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS /pos. Fighting the urge to help him vs waiting to just make it better because reader has the power to ): I loved that so much. The struggle was so real. Literally bringing a doctor just to hear that he needs an alpha to help anyways omg. Lowkey when the doctor said that I was like PLEASE LET US HELP YOU PLEASEEEEEEE. But also. I didn’t want him to be scared either you know ):
I skipped over another scene sighs. THE part where reader said ‘I like your eyes because they’re yours” and then the end. Him saying he likes our scent because it’s ours. Are you serious /pos. Be so serious /pos.
Okay the scent gland scenes actually fucked me up so bad (I unfortunately did not dream about anything but maybe that is for the best because I’m still recovering from this scene). The part where he asks for just the wrist. Reader struggling when they FEEL HIS TEETH GRAZE THE WRIST IM GONNA EXPLODE OMFG. The immediate pulling away because we don’t want to scare him please. + the scent gland scene at the end. HE DIDN’T FEEL LIKE HE HAD TO BE ON TOP. We could lay side by side ): I was so happy that he was okay with that omg. Literally all giddy like aaaaa!!!!!! IM NOT A THREAT!! Actually that’s a lie I wasn’t giddy. I was literally in tears jejdkckckckk Aventurine 😭😭 ughhhhhhh /pos
I won’t comment on the actual scene (I am commenting on it right now actually) because I was literally so sad and my heart hurt so badly for him. I wanted him to see himself from our POV for just one moment so he can understand that we genuinely love him and treasure him & want to keep him safe. ):
ABOUT YOUR WRITING ITSELF : insanity. I will just say insanity. How should I put it in words….. just thinking about this fic again is taking all the words out of my mouth shejdjfjj (I say this as I type a 27738 page essay about it). I love how you write. I really do. Your writing style is so beautiful. I haven’t read the other tags under your fic but I’m sure many others have said the same thing!!! They word it better than me I’m sure bsjsjsjsjsk
I just love everything about it. How you add in little details (oh! Speaking of details— Aventurine’s reaction to reader cozying up to her husband in the other fic) HEJDJJDJDJ omg. But in this fic, the little signs of him being scared. Scared 24/7 actually ): I love how you conveyed his fear so much. And the way he tries so hard to hide it. HIM CRUMBLING DOWN TO HIS RAW SELF WHEN HES IN HEAT. AND THE FEAR THERE TOO. INSANE.
^^ How you wrote him so adamant about not needing help at first …. To him asking for the scent gland ….. to him agreeing to use reader. It was all so real. He didn’t just change his mind like oh okay! It took him a while to be okay with it and I love how real it all felt. You write dialogue & little details so well— it actually drives me nuts (/compliment /pos)
Oh this just reminded me. Your description of how Aventurine smells killed me /pos. And how you describe his scent as sweet. I’m really not okay /pos. It fits him so well. And … for reader…. the scent after rain ? Oh my god ???? I love that smell so much. It’s so comforting…. OMG. COMFORTING????????? BECAUSE. Oh wow. I’m really not okay now. I JUST LOVE ALL THE DETAILS LIKE THAT )))): it’s so clear you put so much thought into all these things because your fic has so much depth. I lowkey yanked out Notibility for your other Aventurine fic to highlight the parts I wanted to comment on ehdjdkkck I was annotating it like a book (I’m so sorry if this is creepy I promise I don’t do this on a regular basis. I don’t annotate fics normally. Actually please disregard this because I’m a bit red admitting this) (I just have the memory of a goldfish and can only remember feelings and not actual content) (That’s a lie because here I am remembering a lot of this fic MOST LIKELY BECAUSE I READ IT WITH MY EYES AN INCH FROM THE SCREEN PROBABLY I WAS LIKE O_O) /pos
NIGHT FLOWER: part i
Your place in the world was one of a tool. This was true of every slave: you were all things to be used. Kakavasha understood this about you, and he understood this about himself. It was how he survived all those years ago, and it’s how he survives now. And so, when Aventurine goes into his first heat in years and decides to suffer it alone, you can only think of one way to get him to accept your help: You offer to let him use you.
written for @/lorelune's spring fever collab & @ficsforgaza
13.5k words of omegaverse, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, angst with an eventual happy ending. gn alpha reader + omega aventurine (they each have both amab and afab genitalia). explicit piv sex, reader bottoms, the sex is consensual but emotionally complicated and deeply sad. cw slavery, racism, gendered violence, including very brief and non-graphic (but direct) references to sexual abuse during slavery. the sa and slavery are not eroticized. dead dove do not eat, mdni.
thank you to @acerathia, @minnaci, @owlespresso for all your help with beta reading and to @kosmiccarma for brainstorming omega aventurine hcs!
“I’ve alw███ l█ved ███, Ka██v█s███”
You knew it from the moment you met him.
Gaunt, pallid, weighed down by heavy chains. Irises that glowed like the auroras back in your world. Delicate features that made every passerby in the market stop to read the description on the placard. (Sigonian, it said, although you couldn’t read at the time. Avgin. Male. Omega. Sixteen years old. Sixty Tanba, no tax.) He had an all-consuming scent that was impossible to ignore—one that possessed you, made your heels dig into the dirt, every atom in your body resisting the impatient jerk of the chains at your wrist. Even through your muzzle, through the perpetual stench of carbon-steel and blood, you could smell it: honey and wildflowers. A fragrance that settled deep within you, flooded you with a warmth that felt like home.
Aventurine is not a spiritual person. He once told you this, his smile cold in the glow of an artificial moon. He'd been deeply religious as a child, but hasn’t since cared for fairy tales about fortune and fate, three-eyed goddesses or merciful rainfalls. Hasn't thought about anything like a destined love. He thinks the idea of a true mate is laughable, that no such bond could ever be forged between an omega and an alpha. That nothing so unconditional could ever exist.
You know differently, of course. You've known it from the moment you met him, from the second you laid eyes on him and thought, I need to help you, and I need to protect you, and I need you to be safe, and you’d never once heard the word ‘love’ in your life—slaves are never loved by their masters, after all, and you'd always been nothing but a slave—but every atom of your being knew that you loved him, that you'd always love him.
And when your master cradled your face that night and crooned that he owned you, that you'd always be his obedient, alpha pet—for the first time in your life, you knew that he was wrong.
You didn't belong to your slaver.
You belonged to him.
To Kakavasha.
These days, Aventurine does not smell like honey, and your jaw is not restrained.
Your muzzle was one of the first things that Aventurine threw away when he bought your freedom. According to the Amber Era system, it had been several months since the murder of your shared master. Ninety-five Star Calendar days after the Interastral Peace Corps had arrested Kakavasha. An entire rotation around the black hole at the centre of your wretched galaxy, all of which had been spent in the captivity of some new mistress. She picked you out because she liked your calming scent and the look of your face, but mostly she used you for the fighting pits just like your old master.
Aventurine had been sitting in the audience of your final match, then bought you out right after you won. “I’m in need of a fighter,” he’d said, smiling in his thick furs and jewels. He played the part of a slavemaster perfectly, his gloved hands wandering the span of your aching shoulders, touching the bloodied maw of your mask. “And I’d be willing to pay top credit for yours.”
She protested. You were her most prized possession, one of her greatest investments. Slaves from your planet were hard enough to come by—alphas capable of reproduction, nearly impossible. And you were so well-behaved, so poised, so endearing in a way that was rare for alphas. She was fond of you. Her omega slaves were fond of you too. They would be distraught if you left, and that would complicate her household affairs—and surely Aventurine, as a respectable owner of human capital like herself, could understand how inconvenient that would be?
Aventurine bared his teeth in a gracious smile. (You’d never seen Kakavasha make such an expression before—so disarming, so cunning, a crescent moon beneath snake eyes. He’d never smelt like this either, like an expensive cologne layered with bleach, and it left you feeling nauseous, wondering if he was ill.) He flirted his way into her good graces, made her an offer she couldn’t refuse, and then he brought you into the first-class ship on which he’d arrived. You were so stunned by its luxury—the handwoven carpets, the crushed velvet seats, the imported tea from several galaxies away and the custom-ordered outfit he had bought for you—that you nearly missed the tremble in his hands as he punched numbers into the remote control lock for your chains.
He had regained his composure by the time he pulled away your muzzle, though. He threw it carelessly to the ground—your titanium chains, too. Then kicked both away with his shined leather shoes.
“There,” Aventurine said, smiling cheerfully. “Much better, don’t you think?”
“Vasha—” you started, voice thick with wasted grief, and all you wanted to was reach for him, to double check that he was real, but he placed a finger to your lips and stopped you. You stiffened at the satin touch, but he seemed unbothered.
“‘Aventurine’,” he corrected.
You stared blankly. “What?”
“‘Aventurine’. Like the gemstone. That’s my name now.”
“You—” Your voice caught in your throat. You realized that you’d been holding your breath. You always had the habit of holding your breath in the luxurious, private rooms of very rich men, because you never liked what happened in them. Forcing yourself to breathe, you asked, “You gave yourself a new name?”
“No. The IPC gave me a new name. They gave me a job, too.”
“A job?” you asked, voice faint. Now that you were breathing again, you were noticing once more just how bizarre he smelled. Sterile and expensive and completely foreign. “You’re free now?”
“Well, I’m a freedman, but I don’t know if I’d call myself free. I’m a bit… indebted to the IPC, let’s say. But that’s fine. I can’t complain. I mean—look around. This beats the fighting pits, doesn’t it?” He gestured lazily at your surroundings, and you nodded.
“It’s nice here,” you replied, feeling absurd but not knowing what else to say. Once Kakavasha got talking, it was impossible to get a word in edgewise.
“You like it here? Good. This room’s yours. Mine is the next one over. You’ll live and work here, with me. I’ll make sure you’re paid well. Full benefits, vacation, salary, and overtime. The standard pay for your role is seventy-thousand credits per month, but I’ll see if I can get you more. HR is pretty strict about their hiring policies, but—”
“You’re hiring me?”
Aventurine went very still, his smile tightly controlled. His eyes remained fixed on you, but they seemed less snake-like, now. They looked more familiar. More afraid.
“I’m offering, yes,” he said neatly. “You’ll be part of my personal security detail. I don’t have the contract for you to review yet, unfortunately. I didn’t arrange one ahead of time because, well”—he laughed, as if this were polite conversation and he were making a joke about the weather—“I didn’t know if I’d find you alive. But things worked out in my favour. They always work out in my favour. I’ll make sure they’ll work out in your favour too, so long as you’re with me. So you’ll consider it, won’t you? Staying with—working for me, I mean.”
Your eyes went soft. Beneath the artificial fragrance, you finally caught a hint of his familiar scent—more wildflower than honey at that moment, the way it always is when he’s scared.
“Kakavasha—”
“Name your price,” he said loudly, “and I’ll match it.”
You sighed. “Vasha,” you said more gently, and his shoulders relaxed at the subvocal shift in your timbre, at the famed alpha Voice that necessitated your muzzle, “I don’t care about the money. Of course I’ll stay here. But—what happened? Why did you kill him yourself? Why didn't you let me do it? That was the plan. It was always supposed to be me.”
It was my job, you thought then, just as you had thought to yourself every night, curled up in your bed and trying to recall the scent of fresh honey, to keep you safe.
He shrugged and said, “It would have been too risky to involve you.”
“You were caught and sentenced to death. The risk was already too high.”
“But the stakes weren’t,” he replied simply, and before you could ask what he meant by that, he continued, “and it worked out, didn’t it? I work for the IPC. You work for me. We’re freedmen now. Whatever I've lost, it doesn't matter. Our gains far outweigh it.”
“And what have you lost, Vasha?”
He smiled at you, charming and distracting. A crescent moon beneath snake eyes. “Nothing of value,” he reassured you, and even though you could feel the calm of an omega’s voice washing over you, even though it released all the tension in your body, all you could smell was cologne and wildflowers, and you knew that he was lying.
Vasha once told you, curled up and quiet on the basement floor, that he despised his eyes. They were supposed to be a sign of blessing from Gaiathra Triclops, but they'd never brought him anything but trouble. They were the first thing that the slavers always noticed about him, the feature that made him such an alluring commodity. Their aurora glow, their strange beauty, their promise of a rare opportunity: a chance at owning a specimen of an exotic, endangered species, possibly the last of its kind. These are all things that you've heard in the parlour of your master’s house as he entertained rich company, the crowd of them gawking at his human curios.
Avgin are said to make the most beautiful slaves, he'd often say. And Avgin omegas are said to be the most beautiful among them. What do you all think? They'd all hum, peering closely at Kakavasha’s features, and inevitably someone would joke, I think I'd like to borrow him sometime, and then they would all laugh while your pulse ticked up and you imagined tearing at their throats. Vasha would search for your gaze in these moments, giving you a long, pointed look: Don't do anything stupid.
He’d always been so blasé about it, the way people fixated on his Avgin blood. You'll never understand how. He didn't react to any of the comments, the groping, the innuendos. He was, however, distinctly unimpressed at the way that your master liked to play him up as a rare and expensive acquisition, as a sign of his own status. It's embarrassing to watch, Kakavasha had remarked. Everyone knows that Sigonian slaves are uncommon but cheap—people always think we’ll bring them more trouble than our worth. This was how Kakavasha had ended up in the market in the first place: because his last master had been robbed, and he'd been wrongly blamed for it.
The blame, to this day, has never stopped. People—powerful people, politicians, businessmen, socialites—look at Aventurine’s eyes and immediately reach for their pockets. You've seen it for yourself, these spineless despots and scammers feeling for their wallets. Sigonian, you know they're thinking. Liar, cheat, thief, whore, worthless, worthless, worthless. Your hands tighten around your blade each time, a loaded gun with a finger on the trigger.
Alphas are said to be violent by nature. Aventurine has often called you the one exception to this rule: the most docile, good-hearted alpha he's ever met. But this is a lie. You do have a predator instinct, and it comes out in full-force whenever you’re around these particular types of men. These types who notice Aventurine’s eyes and see a thief; these monsters who see his irises and imagine what it would be like to bed him. You’d kill them if you could. It would be so easy, especially now that you are an IPC dog. The Company is already such a violent force; what would be one more murder?
But Aventurine has never ordered you to punish anyone. (Don't do anything stupid, he always tells you with a glance, smiling through every humiliation.) Nor has he ever seemed bothered enough by these meetings to try concealing his heritage.
A fellow Asset Liquidation Specialist once asked why he didn't just hide his eye colour—it would likely be better for fostering relationships, negotiating deals—but Aventurine had shrugged it off. I'm a gambler working with the IPC, he'd said. Do you really think a pair of coloured contacts would make anyone trust me? He'd laughed, and his voice had carried a threatening edge, and his coworker had shifted visibly at it. Being an Avgin is the least threatening thing about me, wouldn't you say?
You think that Aventurine likes being seen as a threat. Sometimes you wonder if this is why he doesn't mind wearing his eyes so much, but abhors keeping his scent. He washes his clothes until they're free of his disarming sweetness and then masks himself with an unsettling blend of ambergris, jasmine, and wood. And he is on suppressants all the time—hasn’t had a single heat since the day he killed his master. Hasn't smelled like himself, either.
At the end of the day, it’s manageable being an Avgin in this business, he often comments, spraying half a bottle of masking cologne on himself, but you can't be an Avgin and an omega. Wouldn’t you agree?
You'd know better than me, you reply, noncommittally—and truthfully.
But you're an alpha, he observes. Don't you have an opinion?
You don't pay me to have opinions, you always remind him, stone-faced. You pay me to stand here and look scary. And Aventurine always laughs at this, and he always wires you money and calls it a bonus as he pesters you for an answer, and he always gets distracted and starts scrolling through all his shopping wishlists instead. I saw this thing the other day and thought of you. And this too. Would you like either of them? Would you like them both? I’m a very generous manager, you know. I'll buy you anything you like.
But even though he always gets distracted, Aventurine never forgets. Sooner or later, he inevitably circles back to these questions—these anxieties about his scent, about his eyes, about his blood. He never cares for anyone else’s opinions, but he's always been curious about yours. Even when he was Vasha, he wanted to know what you thought.
He’d been sixteen years old and delirious with heat the first time he asked you, face wrinkling with pain as he spilled his thoughts. It was so incoherent, so sad, you thought it must have been about a fever dream. Mama Fenge, he kept saying. Mama Fenge blessed me, She blessed me, I'm blessed, it rained when I was born—did you know that? My luck, I was lucky. The Katicans, they never caught me. They got everyone else, but not me. I was blessed by Her. I'm going to save my people. I will. I'll save my sister. My eyes are proof. My mistress liked them. Said they're beautiful. Worth sixty whole coppers. A blessing. He pulled you close, pressed his scalding face to your scent gland, and his whole body shuddered with relief. This was the first and only time he'd allowed you to hold him, and it was only out of desperation, out of his mind. Do you like them, alpha? Do you like my eyes? Why? Is it because they're beautiful? Because they're from Gaiathra?
“I like them because they're yours,” you'd replied, and Kakavasha had laughed deliriously.
This is when he told you he hated them: I'd close them forever, if I could.
When you were younger—dumber—you had a habit of squirrelling away every spare coin you came across. You collected them in a little purse that one of the omega slaves had sewn for you—a thank-you for always keeping the other alphas away from her—and you hid it underneath a loose floorboard. By the time that Kakavasha was arrested, you'd saved up twenty-nine Tanba. You’d wanted enough to buy Kakavasha’s freedom and then to set him up for a comfortable life.
It had been a stupid plan. An embarrassing one. If you ever confessed it to Aventurine, he'd laugh at you. Slaves can't buy other slaves, he'd say. Leave the schemes to me next time. You’re too good-hearted for it.
You’d already known that, of course. You knew that you didn't have the status to buy him or mate him or even just provide for him, but you wanted to. God, did you want to—you spent every waking moment thinking about it, every sleeping moment dreaming of it. It wasn't even that you desired him, though he was beautiful and fragrant and more delicate than anything that had ever touched you in your life, which was only your master’s hands and your muzzle and your chains. Aventurine would feel so soft in comparison, you’d always figured. It made your heart ache, thinking about getting to hold something so lovely.
But really—that desire came second. What came first was how mated omegas feel safe around their alphas, and you so desperately wanted him to be safe. Kakavasha had looked so frail, so grim, as your master took his chains and led him home from the market, and you could smell the fear coming off him in waves. And you could do nothing to stop it. You had nothing you could use to stop it—nothing other than your hands that could kill for him and your pheromones that could soothe him and your useless heart that wanted to collect sixty Tanba for him. That was all you had.
So you failed in the end. Of course you did. You didn't have the status to buy him or mate him or even just provide for him. You couldn't even do for him the one thing you could have done—which was to kill. And Kakavasha suffered for your incompetence. He had to dirty his hands with blood and gamble his way into wealth and then suddenly he was freeing you, not the other way around.
And now you are comfortable. You'll lead an easy life from now, Aventurine reassured you when he brought you onto his ship all those years ago, and he's kept that promise. What about you? you'd asked him then. Will you lead an easy life with me, if you're working for the IPC? And he had smiled and lied to you: Yes.
It had been a painfully obvious lie. If you were a smarter person, you'd have never believed it in the first place. Aventurine has no interest in leading an easy life, because an easy life would be less profitable, and less profit would mean less safety. And he is always, always worried about being unsafe. It is indiscernible to everyone but you—an alpha (his alpha, always his, even if he doesn't want you) who has watched over him for so long that you can detect every shift in his scent. No matter how much cologne he drowns himself in and no matter how strong his suppressants are, you know when he is afraid.
And here is the bitter truth, the ultimate proof of your shortcomings:
Aventurine is always afraid.
It is a beautiful day on Agnisahr, and you can tell that Aventurine is about to throw up from worry.
You're sitting in the middle of stunning wealth—Aventurine in his feathers and jewellery, you in your tailored jacket—in a lobby made from marble and pale sandstone, with a view of palm trees and rolling, scarlet sand dunes beyond the window. The waitstaff addresses him as Honoured Guest and they keep his crystal chalice filled constantly with water—one of the most expensive commodities on the planet. Aventurine has been drinking from it religiously, which is strange as he typically has the habit of forgetting to hydrate. A faint wildflower scent is drifting from his slender form. These are the only giveaway to his mood: he's otherwise as pokerfaced as ever, smiling calmly as he discusses his plans to sabotage the local government and acquire the planet for the IPC.
“This is a very dangerous mission,” you state flatly.
“All my missions are dangerous.” He takes a sip, one pinky up. “The IPC pays me well for a reason. As they say—”
“‘High risk, high reward.’ I know.” You try not to sound bitter, though you allow yourself to sound tired. “I still do not think the risk is worth the reward in this case.”
“I think over 5.6 million in credits is a great reward, actually. We could do a lot with that kind of money.”
You raise a brow. “What could an extra 5.6 million get you that you can't already buy?” It is—as Topaz would say—‘chump change’ in comparison to his current wealth, which sums to a number so vast that you can't wrap your head around it.
Aventurine pretends to miss the point. “Tons! We could buy a new spacecraft. Get another mansion. Or—we could take a vacation to Penacony. I hear it's quite nice there.” A playful smile. “I could get us a penthouse unit. With a featherbed.”
You frown. Sometimes Aventurine likes to flirt when you're being stubborn—not out of interest, but as a ploy to distract you. He’d developed the habit after he joined the IPC. It used to fluster you, but now it only makes you cross your arms.
“You could die,” you point out.
“You'll protect me.”
“No, I won't. You always find a way to get rid of me when things are most dangerous.” You give him an accusatory stare. “You never let me do my job.”
He's too shameless to deny it. “And it's worked out fine, hasn't it? I haven't died so far.”
“Yes. Just by dumb luck.”
“I beg to differ. My luck is quite reliable.” He sets down his glass. Glances back outside. A microexpression, brows knotting for the briefest second as he studies the sky. “I'm not worried.”
“You're a shit liar.”
That gets him to look at you, letting a small frown pass over his face. “No, I'm actually a great liar. You're just too good at reading me. It's very inconvenient, you know.”
“I can't help it.” You lean toward him, making a show of it as you sniff. An orchid-like scent—faint but unmistakable—has seeped into artificial ambergris and wood. “It's hard to ignore.”
He hums. He isn't frowning anymore—but doesn't look happy, either. “I should change suppressants.” He taps the side of his empty glass, fidgeting. Aventurine never fidgets: it's an amateur giveaway. “These ones clearly don't work well enough.”
“That won't help. I know you too well.” Your eyes soften. He's looking outside again, the blues of his irises distant. “You're worried, Aventurine. More than usual. Let’s back out of this—let Jade handle it.”
“The mission isn't what's bothering me,” he says patiently. “I just don't like this planet.”
“Because you can tell it's dangerous.”
“No. Well—it is, but nothing I can't handle.” He leans back. “I just dislike the weather here.”
You arch a brow. “...the weather?”
“Yes,” he says neatly, “it's too dry here. I'll break out.”
You open your mouth. Close it. It is possibly the most absurd thing you've ever heard, and certainly the worst lie that's ever come from him. For as long as you've known him, Aventurine has had flawless skin, marble-smooth, and ever since being freed, he’s never really cared much for looking handsome so much as looking rich. But he maintains his serious expression: all-in on the farce. “Did you know that outside the capital, this planet hasn't had any natural rain in a quarter of an Amber Era? And the stellar winds are terrible. I don't know how people live on a planet like this.” His eyes narrow at the cloudless sky. “The IPC is going to need to do a lot of terraforming if they want to make this into a merchant hub.”
“Aventurine.”
“It'll be a pain crossing the desert—the elements will ruin my clothes, you know,” he continues. “It won't be so bad while we're on the ships, but we’ve got to go outside from time to time. Can't make any friends otherwise.”
“Aventurine.”
“And there's nothing to do for fun when we’re not working.” He sighs dramatically. “I can't wait to get our 5.6 billion and leave for someplace else. I'm being serious about Penacony, by the way—”
“Aventurine.”
“—though not about the featherbed. I'll get you your own room, obviously. And I'll buy whatever dream experience you’d like. What kind would you want?”
Finally allowed a chance to speak, you say, “One where you retire.”
“Retire? Why would I ever do that?”
“I don't know. Maybe you decide you've made enough money.”
“No such thing.”
“Then you can settle down with someone.”
That makes him smile. It feels mocking. “Me? Settling down? With who?”
“Who knows. Someone who will treat you better than the IPC, I hope.”
“Anyone that nice would run in the other direction. But never mind me. This would be your dream experience. What happens to you in it?”
“I stop chasing after you and get to live out the rest of my days in peace,” you say dryly, and Aventurine blinks. “Please stop deflecting. The IPC gave you a suicide mission. We will both die if we stay here.”
He looks serious now. “I wouldn't let you die.”
“You can't know that.”
“Well, I do. And I've got decent chances at surviving too—at least one in ten.”
You feel like sighing—a deep, aggravated noise is heavy in your throat—but Aventurine doesn't enjoy it when you show anger around him. It's the one omega instinct that he can't ignore, you suppose: unease around an aggressive alpha. Voice tightly controlled, you say, “You’re going to bet your life on one in ten?”
“Sure. My chances were worse on the last planet, and things worked out great. It'll be the same on Agnisahr.” Aventurine raises a hand, calls for the bill. The conversation is over. You lean back in your seat, watching sourly as he pays tens of thousands of credits just for water.
“You know, they say the royal family is backed by an Aeon,” you can't help but point out, once the waiter is gone. A last-ditch effort. Aventurine smiles at it, amused. Like you're a child.
“So what?” He glances outside, at the desolate landscape beyond the oasis—nothing but red sand, a blue, rainless sky, and two radiant suns shining above it all. “The protection of a god is nothing compared to the schemes of human beings. And gods abandon their people all the time, anyway.”
During your tenth day on Agnisahr, you realise that something is deeply wrong.
It takes you some time to understand what’s happening. At first you think that whatever political danger you’ve intuited is much worse than you thought, and that’s why Aventurine has been so pale, so discomforted, so exhausted. Then his scent starts changing—he switches clothes two, three times a day (because of all this heat during Agnisahran days, he tells his new business associates) and spritzes his nape with his cologne almost religiously—and you wonder if he is sick with something. If the food in this planet has something that disagrees with his Sigonian biology, or if he has picked up one of the local filoviruses, or if someone’s poisoned one of his meals because they’ve correctly identified him as a threat. Aventurine dismisses every single one of these theories when you bring it up, and—as if in denial—only attributes it to the weather. (I’ve never done well in deserts, he tells you, his eyes on his phone screen. I'm not used to them. It is above 300 Kelvin, and you do not see a single bead of sweat on his neck, and his cheeks are not even a little flushed.)
You only figure it out when he is too ill to get out of bed one morning and forbids all the IPC staff from coming near his hotel room. It sets off alarms immediately—Aventurine, no matter how sick, will work and see through meetings as long as he is mentally capable of it—and so you naturally ignore his orders and check on him, using the spare key to his sleeping quarters that you're given as a policy. And as soon as the door cracks open—as soon as you step inside only to be hit with a violent, cloying sweetness—you realise what’s happening and slam the door shut behind you.
“You’re in heat,” you blurt out, and Aventurine—a shivering, panting mess on the bed—groans in response.
“Why are you here?” He turns toward you, still lucid enough to glare at you through the tangled mess of his hair. His voice is weak, but no less self-possessed: “I was very clear—no company today.”
“I am your personal bodyguard,” you remind him mildly. Your voice is calm—both non-threatening and non-condescending. “Those orders don’t apply to me. If things feel suspicious, I look into it. And they felt very suspicious.” Your brow knits as you study his clothes. Mulberry silk clings to his form, soaked through with sweat. Thin, eucalyptus sheets are tangled up around him. There are only two pillows. No water bottles. No knotting toys.
Nothing.
“You didn't know you'd be in heat,” you realise. “What happened to your suppressants?”
“I don't know.” There’s a quiet, frustrated edge to his voice. Vulnerable too. It makes you think of when you were both still slaves, and Aventurine was confined to the basement of the manor—the one that all omega slaves were made to ride out their heats in. Either they would do it alone or were ordered to spend it with some alpha, usually either a friend of the master or an alpha slave he wished to reward. That's when they're most pliable, he'd tell his guests, or sometimes even you. They get so desperate they'll present themselves to anyone. Then amused laughter from the other party—How obscene!—as you looked away, blood hammering in your ears.
You had been your master’s favourite. His most obedient, most profitable pet—striking enough for his guests to admire, deadly enough for his audiences to bet on, docile enough for him to enjoy. Good enough for him to reward, and he often rewarded you with his most beautiful slave: his Avgin omega. Just don't mark him, he’d said, fastening the muzzle around your mouth. It'll ruin his market value. Who knows if someday he'd sell Kakavasha off to some alpha master who wished to claim him, he said. Though I don't think there's anyone in this star system who'd want a Sigonian for a mate, let alone a Sigonian slave. Then he’d paused, eyes scanning over you. As if contemplating. But maybe they'd try to get Avgin whelps out of him, he added, and you felt like throwing up.
You'd never mate him in those moments, your muzzle always prevented you from saying. You didn't even want to think about touching him, and he didn't want to think about it either. Even in the cruel grip of his heats, with nothing but the thin mat beneath him and his slave’s rags around him, Kakavasha hadn't wanted any kind of contact from you, rejecting any chance of solace. Don't, don't—not again, not again, he'd begged. Then as the nights marched on and his mind grew hazier, he’d start whimpering too: It hurts, alpha. It hurts. Help me. It hurts. Don't touch me. Not again. It hurts. It hurts. Stop it, please stop it.
It gutted you.
It went against every instinct, not to touch him. To let him lie there, in scorching, lonely pain, when all you wanted to do was to dispel it. It would be so easy to press yourself against him and let his skin cool against yours, do the one thing that your body was good at other than killing. But not again, not again, I can't anymore, I don't want it, I never wanted it, and all you could do was sit there, unmoving. Watch as the most delicate, precious thing you had in your life shatter.
And standing here now, watching Aventurine shatter before you once more—it is unbearable. He needs a nest, you keep thinking. He needs a nest and some water and some kind of touch, some kind of relief, but not again, not again, and you’re still a slave, still a worthless and stupid slave, and Kakavasha is still crying on a basement floor and you can't do anything for him.
“You need help, Aventurine,” you say, voice soft, and his whole body tenses. His scent dips, and the scent of florals overwhelms you.
“No,” he breathes, “I don't.”
“You do. You're sick.” You bite your lip. Your heart splits as you suggest it, but you say, “I can call a professional.”
“No,” he spits. The facade is gone. The poker face has cracked. The anger and the pain and the fear are all on full display, and his voice sharpens: “No strangers.”
No foreign scents, you realise he's demanding. A new scent would probably make him feel unsafe.
Then let me help you, you think of pleading, but not again, not again, and you're filled with so much shame at the thought that all you can do is look away.
“Then—can I do anything?” He goes still. “Not—not that, but something to make you more comfortable. I can build you a nest, at least—”
“No.” He takes a deep, shaking breath. “No nests. I don't need one—”
“Yes, you do.”
“No, I don't,” he says. His voice is wavering now, on the verge of crumbling with fever and pain. “I've never—I’ve never needed a nest, I don't—I don't want to—” He presses his face into his pillow. “I need—I need to be alone, fuck—”
He doesn't mean to whine. The cry for distress is instinct, something that all omegas are programmed to do in heat. You’ve heard that they’ve evolved to make this noise as a way of appealing to nearby alphas for help, but you think this must be a lie as you never once saw your alpha master giving mercy to any of his omega slaves. Still, whether it is your biology or not—the noise that Aventurine makes has your heart aching so much you can't help but step forward. But he shakes his head and inches away, shuddering violently, and then his voice echoes again in that cold basement—not again, not again, and don't touch it anymore, don't use it anymore, don't use me anymore, not again, and it's all you can do to back away until your spine is pressed against the door.
“I'm sorry, Vasha,” you say, strained. “I’m sorry. I'll leave you now.”
As the door shuts behind you, you catch a final glimpse him—face pressed into the pillows, shivering.
If you didn't know better, you'd think he was crying.
When you were both slaves, Aventurine hated seeing you during his heats.
Kakavasha was normally calm around you. Most of the time, he was even friendly (he was friendly to everyone whom he thought could be useful), but he was different during his heats. Sometimes he was vicious; mostly he was withdrawn. Nearly always, he wanted to be left alone. In those moments, all he could register was your alpha scent and his memories of what other people had done to him during his heats. And while you'd have hated to leave him, despised the idea of him being offered to another alpha—even more than that, you hated violating this boundary of his. Hated that you were allowed to do whatever you wanted to him. Hated being the reason he felt so unsafe.
Hated being an alpha.
Now that you no longer have the orders of your slavemaster hanging over you, it is the least you can do to respect Aventurine’s wish of being left alone. He has every right to privacy, and you have every obligation to give it to him. But instead you have been standing here, outside his door, for a full system-hour.
Every time you try to leave, your body is wracked with anxiety. The thought of other people—other alphas—coming near him in this state makes you seethe, your hands flexing at your side. The predator instinct comes out, and the people around you notice it. Every person unlucky enough to walk down this hall scurries away under your glare, even the other IPC staff wandering about to look for Aventurine: Must be their mate on the other side, they remark to one another, and then they're gone.
It is a hard thing to hear. You are not his mate. You are not even a heat partner. If you were, then he wouldn't be in so much pain. Not now, and not back then.
Aventurine has never had easy heats. You keep replaying your memories of all his past ones, each one a wound in your heart: the aching sweetness of nectar and honey; his withering body as he clutched his abdomen and curled up; the tears and sweat staining the mat beneath him. And above all: the fear. The scent of it, the sight of it, the sound of it in his voice. Stronger today than any other day.
By instinct, you know that he cannot persist like this. That this time is somehow worse than all those other times, and that he will become seriously ill if left alone.
After nearly an hour and a half, you finally open the door, fearing the worst.
“Aventurine?” you say quietly, but there's no response, and your stomach drops as you see him.
His body is pale, listless. If it weren't for the fragrance washing over you or the sweat on his temple, you'd worry that he was dead.
Tentatively, you reach out. Rest a hand on his forehead, and it scorches you. He stirs at the touch, doesn't open his eyes—but the quiet sigh of relief is unmistakable. His fingers twitch, as if wanting to reach for you.
“Aventurine,” you say gently. “Aventurine, I'm going to take care of you. Is that alright?”
He doesn't respond. You grimace, pulling away to fetch things for him: several spare pillows from the closet, an extra blanket too. From his suitcase, you grab a few of his sweaters, all thick cotton and fleece. He’d had a sense that Agnisahr would be cold at night. Deserts always get cold after sundown, since sand doesn’t retain heat, he'd told you while he was packing. Or I think so, anyway. Don't know why. Must have read it somewhere. Then he’d given you a long, unreadable look before saying, Make sure to bring a jacket. The warmest one you have. The elements on a planet like Agnisahr can kill a person—even a person like you.
I’m sure I’ll be fine, you’d dismissed him. I can survive anything. Any kind of weather, any kind of illness, any kind of pain: these are all things your species is known for being able to endure, the trait that made you such a prized slave in your master’s eyes, such a useful agent at the IPC. You hadn’t given Aventurine’s warning any thought and hardly paid attention to what you’d thrown into your own suitcase.
It surprises you, then, that you find one of your sweaters in his luggage. Made from Sedanian cashmere and heat tech designed by the Intelligentsia Guild. Cloud-soft and warm to the touch. Aventurine had bought it for you before you were deployed to Jarilo-IV to collect intelligence for Topaz. Warmest thing in the known universe, he’d commented. One of a kind, too. Remember to wear it, alright? Don't let my money go to waste, now.
You stare at it, kneading the fleece between your fingers. You hadn’t mentioned wanting to bring this sweater. You’d lost it in your closet some months ago and forgot about it. Aventurine must have remembered and gone looking for it, because—why? You aren't sure. Probably because it’s warmer and softer than anything he owns, you guess. Of course he’d want to wear it.
You throw it into the pile of things you’ve collected for him.
You take it all to his bed, the mattress dipping as you sit next to Aventurine. One by one, you scent each item with your wrist, watching him carefully the whole time. You’re quiet as you lay them out around him, leaving him undisturbed as you build a nest. You order water and electrolyte drinks too, and you’re quick about going to the door when you hear room service knocking—with how feverish he is, he probably badly needs it.
Aventurine is awake when you come back. His breathing is still laboured, pained—but calm.
“I said I didn’t need a nest,” Aventurine says, though he doesn’t sound angry. You wonder if he’s too weak to be. His voice is faint, and his eyes are barely open—focused on the pile of blankets and clothing around him.
“You’re welcome.” You open a bottle of water, hold it out to him. “Drink.”
Aventurine pauses, stares at the offering like it's some kind of foreign object. But he accepts it eventually, sitting up and taking it from you. He winces with the movement, which he tries to hide. He ignores your frown as he drinks, and he doesn't stop until the bottle is empty.
“There are more,” you say, pointing at the several additional bottles on the nightstand. “And some food and some painkillers. I don't know how well they’ll work. This isn't a normal heat. If you're alright with it, I'll call a doctor and—”
“Everything smells like you,” he says quietly, and you stop.
“...yes. Unless they’re mated, nests usually feel most comforting to an omega when they smell like an alpha.” You swallow, looking away. “...you don't have a mate, and you didn't want a professional, so this was the only option I could think of. I'm sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he says. He picks out one of the sweaters that have made its way into the nest, the Sedanian one. “I don't mind it.”
“Oh.” You let out a breath. “Then—can I call a doctor?”
His grip on the sweater tightens. “No.”
You frown. “Aventurine—”
“I’ve never needed a doctor before,” he says. He sounds unbothered, but he's fidgeting with the sweater now. “I don't need one now.”
A lie. He almost certainly needed a doctor in some of his prior heats, but you don't push the matter. “Maybe you don't need one,” you say instead, “but it would help.”
“I don't need help,” he says, and you look at him in disbelief. He catches your expression, and the corner of his mouth lifts. “Not more than you've already done, I mean.”
“I’ve barely—”
“Contact Topaz. Tell her I'm incapacitated. Tell her…” He hums. “Tell her I have food poisoning. The personnel too. It's not time-sensitive, our business on Agnisahr, so it shouldn't matter if I need a few days off.”
“You really need—”
“Give my regrets to our Agnisahran friends. Deliver it in person. They see you as my right hand, so they’ll most appreciate it coming from you. Topaz can help you with the verbiage. And—try to socialise with them a little, won't you? I think that little omega princess of theirs likes you. Some of the courtesans too, and they have surprising influence.”
“I do not want to be around any omega other than you right now,” you say before you can stop yourself, and Aventurine stops, blinking. His expression is blank, if perhaps a little curious—but his scent shifts. You can't identify how. You add quickly, “I’m not leaving you alone when you’re this sick.”
“Ah. Right.” Aventurine looks away. His voice sounds strange, and his heat must be getting to him again, because it carries a hint of pain. “But you have to. The IPC’s goals take priority.”
You frown. “Your life is more important than the IPC,” you say, and he laughs. Loudly.
“What? This is just a heat. I’m not going to die.”
“You don’t know that without seeing a doctor.”
“I do. I’m willing to bet money that I won’t die.” He cuts you off before you can reply: yes, you're always willing to bet on your life. “And even if I do, that would still be less important than Agnisahr. Do you know how many resources are on this lifeless rock?” His mouth slants. “If we mess up here, I’m dead anyway.”
“I wouldn’t let them touch you.”
“Yes, you would—because they would kill you too.” Aventurine sighs. His eyes close, and his brow creases—a sign that whatever reprieve he was lucky enough to get is about to end. “Go do what I asked. Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll… see a doctor if you do.”
You stand immediately. “Alright. I’ll be back to check on you.”
“I know.”
You stop at the door, giving him a long look. Seeing him like this—lying on a proper bed, cradled in a warm nest, with water and food and medicine nearby—you feel a little better. This is leagues beyond what he’d been afforded in his days as a slave, at the very least. Even if he isn’t free, at least he isn’t trapped.
But it still doesn’t feel good, having to step away. The last thing you want to do is talk to other people, pretend to have interest in other omegas. There are an astonishing number of them who are interested in you on this planet—that princess, and some baron’s son, and one of the prince’s favourite paramours—but you can’t bring yourself to care even for business purposes when Aventurine is like this. You can't act as if you are enjoying yourself when you know he is in pain.
You wonder about telling Topaz the truth. You wonder if she’d be worried enough about Aventurine to let you neglect this mission and cover for you instead, without letting Jade or Diamond or anyone else dangerous know. Not that you think that anyone at the Company particularly cares about Kakavasha—it’s only that he’s valuable. Aventurine of Stratagems is valuable. How many worlds have fallen because of him?
But he seemed unwilling to bet on his worth to them. Which is startling, given how often he's bet on it in the past.
“What’s so important about this planet,” you can’t help but ask, “that the IPC would rather you die than lose it?”
He’s silent for a long moment. His eyes are closed—hidden—but you can see his knuckles whiten as he clutches the Sedanian sweater.
“Copper,” he says. “They want it for the copper.”
When Kakavasha first suggested a friendship to you, it had felt like something in between a proposition and a threat:
Go ahead, he'd said. Use me as you wish. You can even stab me in the back if you want. Just be mindful of this: I don't make deals that don't pay off.
It might have been a strange way of making friends in any other circumstance, but in a house of slaves, it was a natural one. You had not been a clever person—still aren't—but you understood that your place in the world was one of a tool. This was the place of all slaves: you were all things to be used. Your body was a thing to be used. It was valuable for its strength, for its hardiness, for its threat in the arena and for its convenience in your master’s bed (or in a dark basement, or within a heat house, or inside whichever omega your mistress ordered you to calm down). It did not surprise you that Kakavasha wanted to use it as well. It did not surprise you that Kakavasha expected you to use him in return.
You never would have, of course. Kakavasha was not a thing to be used—he had always been a mate. Though you were happy to let him use you, because all you were was a tool anyway, so it was really all you could offer him: to be used.
None of this has changed for you. You don't think any of this has changed for Aventurine, either. With each new friendship he makes, he repeats those familiar words: Use me as you wish. And with each person who accepts, this is exactly what they do: they use him, and they use him, and they use him until suddenly they notice he's tricked them and they've got the losing hand.
You damned gambler, they always spit. You Sigonian wretch. All you know is how to manipulate people. Thief, liar, cheat, whore. Despite all these insults, Aventurine always smiles at them. Cry as they might, he’s won his bet and has their world in his palms.
Winner takes all, he sometimes gloats.
Winning and losing. Using and being used. Exploitation and treachery. This is all Aventurine knows; these are his great guiding principles in life. (He's told you this point blank, stacking up chips in his favourite gambling dens with a self-satisfied grin.) You often find yourself coming back to these conversations, particularly when you need to convince him of something.
And right now, you very badly need to convince him of something.
Aventurine is ignoring his doctor’s advice. His suppressants are unstable in extreme temperatures, he's been told. During travel on Agnisahr, they'd degraded, and now he’s experiencing his first heat in several years. Of course it's going to be painful, his doctor had said. I can prescribe you some medication to ease the symptoms, but really—nothing will work better than a heat partner. It doesn't need to be a mate. Any alpha will do.
The doctor had been an alpha. You had asked for a beta or omega, but alphas tend to dominate in Interastral Medical Schools, so they're in short supply. Aventurine had been still the whole time, face unreadable, but you could tell he wanted to throw up at the stench of an unfamiliar alpha. You had stepped between the two of them, not bothering to hide the animosity in your voice. We’ll take the medication, you had said, and the doctor had sniffed the air and nodded at you in approval.
Probably won't need it. An alpha like you could sort him out with just a few rounds, he told you, and both of you stayed quiet as he left.
You still aren't talking, or even looking at each other. Aventurine has lay down in his nest again, closing his eyes, while you stand as far away as physically possible—at the door where you'd just shown the doctor out. With the room shut off again, windows closed and door locked, Aventurine’s scent is starting to flood your senses once more. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch him shivering.
“What do you want to do?” you ask.
“Nothing.” He swallows. “I'll be fine.”
He's afraid. You can tell he's afraid. And you can tell he’ll be more afraid if you take even a single step closer to him, so you nod and say, “I'll go pick up your medication, then,” and Aventurine doesn't stop you. You can see him curling up in his nest, face pressed into the cashmere sweater.
But he still doesn't stop you.
After a few more days, Aventurine finally breaks.
There is a rare sag to his shoulders when he calls you to the room, along with a taste of dread in the air. You haven't seen him so vulnerable in years. Aventurine is not an open person, so cunning and self-possessed in his wealth—but Kakavasha was more brittle, more powerless, flayed raw and open even though he didn't often get the whip. (It would ruin his value if he ever scarred—his looks were his greatest selling point, your master said.) He was especially defeated when forced to spend his heats with an alpha he didn't want. You wonder, a vice grip of pain around your heart, whether this entire situation is simply an extension of that. Whether he is calling you here against his will, this time compelled by his pain, rather than his master. Whether this luxury suite feels like that wretched basement to him.
He doesn't look at you when he talks, nor does he sit up. He remains curled in his nest, nearly clinging onto the blankets and clothes.
“That stupid medication,” he pants out, sharp even in his heat, “isn't working.”
“I can tell.” Your brow knots. He’s in so much pain, it is palpable. “I”—you hesitate, voice dropping. “Can I help you?”
He goes quiet. As both Aventurine and Kakavasha, he has always been disinclined to accept help from other people. There is no such thing as unconditional help in his mind—only leverage and weakness. He hates it when people have leverage over him, and he hates being weak. Both are things that can be exploited, and Aventurine always needs to be the one doing the exploiting. He always needs to be in control.
Even like this, the last threads of his sanity about to snap, with every circuit of his omega biology trying to drag him into insensible lust, he fights viciously to be in control.
Winning and losing. Using and being used. Exploitation and treachery. Control and being controlled. This is how he's always lived. This is how he's always survived.
This is the only way to let him maintain control when he is most afraid of losing it.
“I don't mind,” you say quietly, “if you use me.”
Even through the haze of heat, Aventurine’s eyes sharpen. “What?”
“I don't mind if you use me,” you repeat, voice neutral. Unfeeling. The proposal might sound cruel to someone else, but not you. After all—your place in the world is one of a tool, and this is what you've always done as an alpha and a slave: sleeping with people to take care of their needs, or sometimes just their desires. It did always make you feel strangely hollow, but you think it will feel just fine with Aventurine. All you've ever wanted to do is keep him safe, and surely, this will do that, but—
“I'll only help if you want. I don't want to force it.” You lower your eyes. “But if you do want it, I'll be careful with you. You can lead. I promise.”
“...I know.” Aventurine’s voice is weak, cracks with pain, but you can tell he's speaking with clarity. “I know you will be.”
You look up. “Then you'll let me help?”
Aventurine looks away—a sign that he cannot adopt his usual smile. He’s clutching that sweater again, pressed close to his chest.
“Just your wrist,” he says quietly.
You listen carefully. “What?”
“I just—I just want your wrist.” He looks away. “Your—your scent gland. Only that.”
“Okay.”
You get up, then falter. When it was your job to comfort your mistress’ omega slaves, you were told to enter their nests—no permission needed from them, no permission needed from you, because only her permission ever mattered for anything. The omegas were usually too delirious to care, often had even begged for it with the state of mind that they were in. But Aventurine is different. He's not like you, and he's not like them. He's never bent to any of his masters’ wills. And even if he did, you wouldn't want to have him bend to yours.
Instead of climbing into his nest, you ask, “Can I sit on the bed?” He doesn't answer. “Just the edge of it,” you add, and you hear him exhale.
“Fine,” he says, breathing measured.
“Thank you,” you say, and he gives you a confused look. But then you're reaching out with a hand, offering it, and he is quickly distracted.
Aventurine drops the sweater, grabs your hand almost immediately. He turns over your palms, fingers tracing your heartlines—as if testing you, as if mapping out territory. He runs his thumbs along the veins of your wrists, too, right over your scent gland, and you have to force yourself not to shudder at the feeling. You only stay still, letting him explore the contours of your hands, letting him acclimate to the feeling of your skin. He laces his fingers with your own, a latticework trap, and he finally drags his wrist along yours.
Both of you inhale sharply.
You can't react. You know it'll scare him if you do, but it's hard to keep still. The way his scent blossoms, the way it mingles with yours, the way it all washes over you—what you're doing can hardly be called touching, but you feel like you're going mad. Especially when he flushes like that, his vibrant eyes fluttering shut. Especially when the sweetness of honey overtakes your senses. Especially when you can smell the way his body is reacting, all that wetness and heat and slick dripping between his legs. You don't miss the way his thighs rub together, nor the hard outline of his cock straining against his pants.
Aventurine shudders. He brings your hand up to his face, rests his cheek in your palm. His skin is flushed and burning with fever, and it's no wonder that he's sighing with relief at your touch. You try not to stare at the way his mouth falls open. He looks at you for a moment, his gaze a hazy violet and blue—before he closes his eyes again and presses his lips into your wrist.
Fuck.
“Aventurine—” You have to stop, voice strangled, when you feel the full softness of his lips working against your skin. He’s panting now, laboured breaths sweeping over your veins. Then you feel his teeth catch, a gentle nip on your flesh, and when he groans into your racing pulse—deep, relieved, desperate, a noise that makes your gut flare with heat—you realise you can't do this.
You pull back your hand, and Aventurine startles.
“Aventurine,” you say, voice strained. Maybe we should stop, you want to say, but he cuts you off.
“I need”—a shaky breath—“I need more.”
You watch Aventurine carefully. His pupils are dilated, blue irises nearly eclipsed. His cheeks are rosy, and he can't stop panting. You can fully smell his arousal now, even through his silk clothes. He's desperate, needing to be filled.
But he also looks torn. His brows are knotted, and you can taste a faint hint of fear in the air now. His knuckles clutch at the sheets, almost white, and he stares at them. He can't look up. He can't look at you. His whole body is tense, like he wants to bolt—and if he weren't so weak, you think he might actually.
“Are you sure?” you ask.
He doesn't nod. He also doesn't shake his head. His arms clutch at his midsection as he winces. He doesn't look like Aventurine. He looks like Kakavasha. It makes your heart ache as you watch him give into his body’s demands, wearing the same expression he did on the day your master bought him.
“...don't use your Voice on me,” Aventurine—Kakavasha—says quietly.
It takes you a moment to realise what he's asking. “I won't.”
“And”—his eyes somehow grow even more evasive, hidden by his long lashes— “don’t touch my commodity code.”
His commodity code. His commodity code that is seared into his scent gland. His code that, if you kiss, will ease his agony instantly. His code that, if you bite—will chain him to you irreversibly.
“Of course I won't,” you say instantly.
He closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath.
“And—” Aventurine looks away, jaw tight. His voice is quiet but wrought with tension: “—I don't like when people put things inside me.”
Something claws the walls of your heart.
“That's fine too,” you reply. “I don't mind doing it the other way.”
Aventurine’s sigh is nearly inaudible, but unmistakable. His scent shifts a little bit, the wildflower fragrance fading ever so slightly. But he doesn't come to you. He merely sits there—waiting. Expecting. Maybe dreading. Even in the senseless daze of heat, he’s too anxious to move.
You approach slowly. Though you're overwhelmed by the bouquet of his scent, though you feel a curl of heat in your belly in response to it—you are slow. Alphas are supposedly victims of insatiable lust whenever around an omega in heat, absolved of every action they take, but you are convinced this is a lie. You have never once wanted to handle Aventurine with such cruelty. You think that inflicting violence on him, more than anything else, would go against your biology. Every molecule in your body would reject putting him in such pain or inciting such fear. So you are careful when you approach him, slow as you inch up to him—but you do not think it helps.
Aventurine lies down, his face turned away from yours. His eyes squeeze shut, like he's expecting this to hurt. Uncertainty gnaws at your gut as you lean over him, draping your body over his—the only position you've ever taken an omega in, other than mounting them from behind.
(You do not want to mount Aventurine. You never have. It is an impersonal position, a position that omega biology supposedly would force him to enjoy, a position that alphas have likely dictated him to enjoy. You think there is nothing you would hate more. In your weakest, most selfish moments, in your worst ruts, when you’ve allowed yourself to fantasise about mating Kakavasha—you are always facing each other, and he is always looking at you with his eyes you've always loved, and it always feels intimate. Never impersonal. Never dictated. Never forced.)
Aventurine is so honeysweet beneath you. More fragrant than any omega you’ve ever been with. You glance at his commodity code, trying to ignore the scent of his branded skin, then lean down to press your face against the other side of his neck, where a faint scar mars the otherwise flawless slope of his nape. Like every other omega slave you've ever slept with, the scent gland there has been excised: a precautionary measure to reduce the risk of an unwanted mating bite.
(Not unwanted by them—the wants of a slave never matter—but unwanted by their owners. A mating bite would ruin the code seared into their neck, claim an omega more deeply and permanently than any titanium collar or carbon steel chain. It would hurt their resale value. Only owners are allowed to claim slaves in such a permanent way—and the wants of a slave have no relevance there, either.)
It's a funny thing, this surgical scar. Even with their gland missing, you've noticed that most omegas like having their neck scented by you anyway, probably from some vestigial instinct. You guess that Aventurine won't be any different, that maybe it will comfort him. But when your lips skim the scar left on him by his owner, his entire body stiffens beneath you. His fragrance cuts into your lungs, sharp.
You recoil, as if burned by the touch of him.
“Sorry,” Aventurine is quick to say. He tries to glance at you, but his diamond pupils quickly avoid you again. “Don’t worry about me. Just do whatever you need to do.”
“But you're scared,” you point out, and you see his brow twitch. “You’re scared when I touch you.”
“Not scared,” he lies. “Just…”
When his eyes finally look at you—land on your lips—you understand.
A bite would claim an omega more deeply and permanently than any titanium collar or carbon steel chain. If you lost your mind—give into the insatiable lust of an alpha whenever around an omega in heat—you might bite him, and then you would own Aventurine.
And Aventurine would rather die than be owned by anyone again.
He doesn't need to finish his sentence. You already know what you need to do.
“It's okay,” you say gently, and his brow knots. “I have an idea.”
Aventurine is always afraid.
This is a fact that has haunted you since the day you met him. You've wondered about how to fix it—the bare minimum as his mate (always his, even if he doesn't want you)—and you’ve never quite pinned down how. Because when someone has spent their life in perpetual fear, how do you make them feel safe? When their life is constantly at risk, how do you ever make them feel calm?
You still aren't sure of the answer. But after seeing Kakavasha become Aventurine, you now have a good guess.
It is clear from his scent that Aventurine does not feel remotely safe right now. Not when you leave to fetch something from your own room, and not when you return. The anxiety thickens when he sees, in your hands, a very familiar muzzle.
Aventurine stares. He is not smiling, but he also does not reveal his discomfort on his face, even as beads of sweat line his temple. But his voice is too controlled, too calm, when he asks, “You kept the mask.”
You nod.
“I told you to throw it out,” he points out, “when I freed you.”
“I know. Sorry. I don't know why I kept it.” You remember how tightly you clutched it before the incinerator, thinking about how strange it would feel, discarding something that you'd worn everyday since you presented—but you don't tell him this. Instead, you say, “But it’s convenient.”
Before Aventurine can say anything, you toss him the remote.
“You’re afraid of my bite and my Voice, but you don't have to be with this,” you explain. Your tone is gentle, soothing. Probably disarming coming from an alpha, with how he is in heat. Perhaps that's why he’s studying the remote rather than chucking it away. “You'll be in full control if I wear this.”
Control. Mere seconds after you say it, you can smell his fragrance change again, mellowing. It's only a brief moment of calm that fades when you latch the mask onto your face, but he doesn't smell as nearly as stressed before.
Aventurine watches you carefully as the carbon steel swallows your maw, its old and familiar edges biting into you. For the first time in years, you cannot tell what he is thinking—truly poker-faced even to you.
“You aren't bothered by wearing that thing while we do this,” he says—asks?—and you shake your head. The muzzle was part of you for years. You were wearing it when you killed someone for the first time. You were wearing it when you went into rut for the first time. You were wearing it when your master had sex with you for the first time. It doesn't bother you that you’ll wear it when you have sex with Aventurine.
If you could speak, you would ask him, Why do you think it would bother me? But all you do is gesture for him to sit up. To switch places with you. You lie down—something you've never done with an omega—and wait for him to get on top.
Aventurine stares at you for a long, quiet moment. It's followed by a sigh of relief. Disarmed, he—for the first time in any heat you've witnessed—finally relaxes. His scent wafts over you as he climbs between your legs, and you can feel the heat radiating from his hands as he parts your thighs, almost scalding.
He doesn't bother getting you ready, too needy to think rationally, but he doesn't have to anyway. You've been wet ever since you felt his mouth touch your wrist, hard ever since you heard him groan into it. You're equally desperate to get some relief as you feel his cockhead sliding against your opening, leaking all over your entrance as his slick drips onto your thighs. His breath shakes as he enters you, and he can't hear it with how you're muzzled—but you groan just as deeply as him at the tight stretch.
You hear him swear when you clench around him, watch him lean over you. His arms shake as he supports himself, refusing to succumb to his heat even as he chases his relief. You seek out his gaze (just as in your dreams, facing each other, intimate), and his neon eyes catch on your eyes for a brief, breathtaking second—
—before he looks away.
There's a flash of—you don't know what, maybe pain? Or fear?—in his irises as he does. A twitch of the brow, a tell he'd normally rather die than let slip. You have the realisation, as Aventurine moves inside you, that even while you're muzzled, even while he has complete control over you—he still can't stand having sex with you. Probably because he can't stand being in heat in general, you tell yourself. Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't use it anymore, don't use me anymore. He'd have this reaction to anyone.
Still—you didn't expect him to have this reaction to you.
Your hands twitch, possessed by an old instinct to cover your eyes. But you'd probably scare Aventurine if you moved your arms, so all you do is dig your fingers into the sheets and squeeze them shut. You tell yourself again and again that he'd hate having sex with anyone in these circumstances—not just you. And then you tell yourself, as a desperate, broken moan leaves his branded throat, that he would also come inside anyone in these circumstances, caught within the cruel grip of his heat.
Aventurine stills inside you as he finishes. He pants, sweat dripping down his temple as he shudders in his ecstasy, his spend hot and thick inside you. You can feel his fever break as he comes down from his high, the heat coming off his body easing into a manageable warmth.
Do you feel better, you try to say, but you can't move your mouth while your mask is on. So you wait patiently for Aventurine to come back to himself, watching him carefully as he pulls out and rolls onto the mattress beside you. He finally glances at you then. His eyes narrow once they land on you, confusion flicking through them. Then displeasure. He reaches for the remote.
To your surprise, he immediately punches in the code to unlock your muzzle. Aventurine has apparently remembered the numbers after all these years, as if the moment he freed you has been since seared into his memory.
“Are you okay?” is the first thing you say, and Aventurine gives you a confused look. He’s still panting, dazed, so you ask, “Can I check your temperature?” And when he nods, you confirm your suspicion: he's still much too warm.
There is an ache between your legs and a strange hollow in your gut (because you aren't very experienced with receiving, you think—your body likely just isn't used to the feeling of it), but you quickly forget them. All you can think of is Aventurine, and how he’s still unwell, and how you need to comfort him. The instinct is so strong that you don't even say anything as you get up, straightening out your clothes.
“Are you leaving?” Aventurine asks. His voice is neutral, completely unbothered, but the thought is so horrific to you that you turn back to him with wide eyes.
“Of course not. I'm going to get you water and medicine.” A beat. You stare at Aventurine’s eyes, then think about how he hid them from you during sex. The hollow feeling comes back, but it's mostly eclipsed by your anxiety at the next thought: “...do you want me to leave?”
“Do you want to?”
“I—” I'd rather die, you think. Being forced to leave him right now would feel like tearing out a piece of yourself. You don't know if there's an alpha in this world who could leave their mate in the middle of a heat. And even if he is unmarked, unattached to you—you still think of yourself as his mate. (His, always his, even if he doesn't want you.) “I would prefer not to. I am your heat partner. I'm supposed to take care of you.”
You hear a quiet breath. “Right. Of course. You're always so conscientious.” Aventurine nods, as if convincing himself of something. “Try not to take too long.”
“I’ll come back soon,” you promise, and the air sweetens. Encouraged, you add, voice gentle: “I’ll bring that medication, and then we can have sex as many times as you need after I come back. I'll make sure you're not in any pain anymore.” You pause, studying him. “Is there anything else you need to feel better?”
His fragrance changes once more, this time in a way you don't totally recognize. “No.” His voice sounds strange. His scent is still foreign, fluctuating, possibly hinting at some kind of pain. The heat must be getting to him again—and of course it wasn't enough, what you just did, what you can provide. He likely needs to be filled to get any kind of lasting relief, but you left him empty. “No, that's all I want.”
You nod, forcing yourself to look calm. Ignoring the emptiness in your gut. It didn't feel bad, but you hope it'll feel better next time you have sex. You think it will. Alphas are supposed to be filled with an insatiable lust near omegas in heat, after all. And even though you’ve never felt that before—never felt anything sleeping with all those omegas in your mistress’ house—you are sure you'll eventually feel it around Aventurine.
But the feeling never comes. Even though you can tell that his heat has returned by the time you're back—sweat beading his temples, laboured breaths at his lips, his bottoms now discarded, with full evidence of arousal between his legs—you don't feel much of anything as you reach for your mask again.
“Don't,” Aventurine says, before it can clasp around your face. You give him a curious look. He explains, “Don't. I don't want to have sex again. Not yet.”
You stare at him, shifting. Uncomfortable. Uncertain. Not knowing how he wants to use you. “What can I do?”
He gives you a long look. “Come here. I… I want your scent gland.”
It's a sensible request. If there's a way to seek relief without fucking someone—without fucking you, which he clearly hated doing—you're sure Aventurine would prefer it. So you climb into his nest, holding your wrist out for him, and—
“No.” His voice is quiet. “I want the one on your neck.”
“...oh.”
You stand there, not sure where to move. If he wants you in his nest again, or if he’d rather do this standing. You’re relieved when he demands, “Lie down.”
You expect him to get on top of you when you do. Assume that he wants complete control—but he instead lies down beside you. Presses his body into yours, and then his face into your neck. His nose and lips brush against your scent gland, a full-body shudder running through him, and—
—and now you know for a fact that it is a lie that alphas want nothing other than to fuck an omega when they're in heat. Because even like this, with his lips sweet on your neck, with the sheets soaked with his slick, with his spend leaking out of you—you do not want to have sex with Aventurine. You only want to hold him. You only want him to keep scenting you. You only want to scent him back.
You only want him to feel safe.
You breathe in deeply, lungs flooded by honey. You think of what it felt like to hold him in that cold basement, when he was delirious with fever and pain, and you think about how different his scent is now. How much sweeter it is. How much calmer he feels.
“Do you feel better?” you ask, and he doesn't respond, but you know the answer. His hands come up to dig into your shirt, and he presses into you like you're a sweater in his nest. Silence blankets over you both, calm and warm. His laboured breath starts to improve.
He does eventually speak.
“Has anyone ever told you,” he says, “what you smell like?”
You stare at him. Your master used to say that you smelled good, but he'd never elaborated, and you hadn't wanted him to. “No.”
Aventurine breathes in.
“You smell like—” A little sigh, shaking and feverish, leaves him. “You smell like rain.”
Your eyebrows tick up. “Rain?”
“Yes. Or not just rain, but”—he pauses, next words quiet—“more Iike after it rains. You smell like the desert after a rainfall.”
“Oh.” You don't know what to say to that. Feeling distinctly like it's a silly question, you ask, “Is that a good scent?”
“Some would think so. Especially to people from the desert. You probably smell like a blessing to them. Although…”
Aventurine goes quiet again. You stare at the chandelier above you, all crystal and white gold, and wait.
“Although?” you prompt.
“...although I wouldn't really know,” he says. “It’s just a hunch. I bet it's why so many omegas on this planet like you.”
You couldn't care less about those other omegas. All you care about is Aventurine. “And?” you say. “Do you like my scent?”
His reply never comes. He just breathes deeply again, seeking relief from your neck—not intimacy. Any alpha’s scent would work; that doctor told you so. Any alpha’s touch would work, too. There are no special feelings involved here. Your place in the world is one of a tool, and tools are never especially liked nor disliked. Their value exists only in how they can be used.
You don't know why you even bothered to ask the question.
But then something strange happens: Aventurine curls against you, pressing even further into you. His lashes flutter against your pulse again; it ticks up in response, beating fast against his lips.
“I do,” he says quietly. “I do like it.”
You swallow. “But I guess that's because you're in heat. Any alpha would smell good to you, wouldn’t they?”
“No.” His fingers dig into the fabric of your shirt. “No, I like it because it's yours.”
You know better than to read too much into his response. Aventurine had already said it earlier: No foreign scents. He's only tolerating this whole arrangement because you don't smell unfamiliar to him. Only able to use you because you are the least threatening option.
But the words break something in you—break the thing that made you unable to throw out that little pouch of copper coins that you were saving up for Kakavasha’s freedom, the part of you that made you wear that carbon-steel mask for him. It is this part of you that has your eyes squeezing shut and your arms wrapping around him. You know he’ll recoil, reject you, but just this once—you need to try.
Aventurine doesn't push you away.
He melts into you instead, inhaling deeply. Your scent gland tingles with the warmth of his breath, the feeling of his lips. He seems—comfortable.
You can't fathom why he’s staying in your arms. Perhaps he's simply desperate for some kind of relief from his heat, just like when you held him in the basement while he was delirious from pain. But Aventurine had spoken to you with clarity just now, and his skin doesn't feel scalding so much as warm, and his scent is so different than from that moment. So sweet and so gentle, without a trace of fear. It makes your heart squeeze. As much as you've always wanted Aventurine to feel safe, you'd never imagined that his scent would be so beautiful when he is.
It makes your heart ache. You've never held anything so lovely before, and you’ve never felt so warm before, and it all makes up for how badly it hurt to let Aventurine inside you. How hollow it made you feel to let him use you. How none of that matters as long as you can keep him safe like this, because you belong to Kakavasha. You'll always belong to Kakavasha, in a fate that was chosen for you on the day you met him.
You're his, always his—even if he’ll never want you.
end part i
thank you so much to lore for hosting a fantastic collab and to my sponsors who funded this fic and got it over the finish line! please go check out @ficsforgaza to find other amazing hsr writers you can sponsor in order to help fundraise! here is my own wip list, if you are interested in seeing more from me!
and thank you most of all to YOU! I appreciate you so much for reading this chapter. thank you so much for sticking it through.
additional end notes
#彡 favorites.#cw slavery#cw racism#cw violence#cw sa mention#the first sentence with the block letters ): it says I’ve always love you ??? gonna go cry now (I already did last night)#‘your eyes went soft. beneath the artificial fragrance / you finally caught a hint of his family scent’ ‘the way it always is when he’s#scared.’ THIS LINE BROKE MY HEART. his facade is not facading . WE KNOW. WE WILL ALWAYS KNOW#‘nothing of value’ god dammit aventurine i want to shake his shoulders so bad. this is killing me#OMG THE COIN PURSE PART. THE READER IS SO SWEET )))))): OMG. I remember the face I made at that part /pos and I did tear up quite a bit#‘you never let me do my job’ YEAH. what’s up with that ????????? aventurine u turd. I WANT HIM TO LET US LOVE HIM SOOOO BAD HGGGRRRRRRRRRRR#‘no im actually a great liar. you’re just too good at reading me. it’s very inconvenient you know.’ okay i don’t know how to explain how i#feel. but can I say I heard this perfectly in his voice ? and it made me react some way. like jaw fell open kind of way. your characteriza#UGH I HATE THE TAG LIMIT characterization** IS SO GOOD I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING IN MY HEAD it’s like a movie is playing in my brain mhm mhm!!!#also the part where we keep repeating aventurine over and over and he keeps talking about what he could buy ): LISTEN TO MMMMMEMEEEEEEEHHRH#‘it went against every instinct not to touch him’ THIS IS WHAT I MEANT in my word dump )): trying so hard but so conflicted because#as an alpha you can make it better for him. but he doesn’t want that so u respect it. but he’s in so much pain ): UGHHHHHHHHHH#the sweater part . are you serious /pos. this is such a cute little detail ): I’m gonna start sobbing again can we give him the world#‘everything smells like you’ im sorry 😭 we don’t have much to work with mr aventurine BUT HE SAID ‘I don’t mind it’ SO🥺🥺🥺#‘copper’ ‘they want it for the copper’ the way I started laughing because r u serious . I’m actually a little . brow twitched. BROW TWITCHE#oh okay the copper! right. the copper. (the table flips over) be so fr rn /pos#the entire wrist scene I read with one hand over an eye and also hidden under my blankets because I was so tense HEJDKCKJCKD#‘aventurine would rather die than be owned again’ my heart shattered into pieces at this btw#him still remembering the pass to the muzzle ): and the ‘are you leaving’ im literally gonna cry all over again /pos#the neck scent gland fucked me up so bad. and the rain scent. and he likes it because it’s ours . x _ x / T_T#i have thoughts about your other fic but I will probably write them tomorrow because now I would like to re-re-re-read this one 😅#I’ve always loved * for the first tag dammit I can’t imagine how many typos are in this whole thing#TLDR : great work !!! loved this > < <33
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Please can I request a platonic Captain x reader please? Maybe where the reader is a pirate ghost from the late 19th century and she is the only other ghost that the Captain shows physical affection to, causing them to get teased by the other ghosts and Alison? Thank you! x
Of course you can! I love the Captain and I hope you like the fic!
Title: An Understanding
Ghosts tag list: @violetlucreziasstuff
Everything tag list: @greenrevolutionary, @imjustassaneasyou, @spngingerbread21, @layazul, @lov3vivian
“Footwork,” you called to Alison, “Remember your footwork.”
“Like this?”
You narrowed your eyes at Alison’s feet before nodding.
“Now tell Mike he needs to raise his arm slightly higher.”
“How much higher.”
You cocked your head and came to stand on Mike’s right. He looked around and you raised your arm slightly.
“To here.”
“Mike, you need to raise your arm about two inches.”
“And that’s perfect!”
“Y/n said ‘that’s perfect.”
“Great,” said Mike through gritted teeth, “I’m so glad. Why did I agree to do this again?”
“Because we have someone who can teach us how to fence-“
“Swordfight,” you corrected Alison, which earned you a glare, “Just because you’re not killing each other doesn’t mean you’re not sword fighting.”
“What did she say?” asked Mike
“She said we’re sword fighting.”
Mike paused for a moment before looking down at your old swords. He looked back up at Alison and nodded.
“Sword fighting does sound a lot cooler.”
“I’m guessing that’s a good thing.” You said to Alison.
“It is. Y/n says ‘thank you for the compliment.” Alison said
You sat down on a chair as you watched Alison and Mike almost dance around the room. It was nice to see them having fun. Back when you were alive you used your sword to stay alive, killing people was an unfortunate aspect of your old life. Seeing Alison and Mike made you realise just how far society had changed since you were alive.
“Ah, y/n, there you are. I was wondering where you were.”
You looked up as the Captain approached you, a soft smile on your face at the appearance of your friend. The Captain stood next to you, observing Alison and Mike.
“Teaching them the art of sword fighting I see.”
“Yes,” you replied, “They’re coming on surprisingly quickly, especially since Alison is the only one who can see us.”
“It is a noble art that sadly people no longer seem to appreciate”
“Yeah.”
The Captain put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a re-assuring squeeze. You closed your eyes at the small comforting action and rested your head against his arm.
“And what do we have here?”
You jumped away as Julian’s smug voice instantly put you in a bad mood. You glared at the dead politician as he sauntered over to you, smirking. He paused to watch Alison and Mike.
“Look at you two getting cosy.” He said
“What do you want?” you asked
“Nothing, nothing,” he said, “Just glad to see you two so close.”
You rolled your eyes as the Captain coughed awkwardly. You could sense that he was about to remove his hand so you put your on top of his.
“The Cap and I enjoy a purely platonic relationship,” you said, “If you are too small minded to know what that words means, might I suggest reading a dictionary.”
“Well said, y/n.” said the Captain
You smiled up at your friend as you stood up. You linked arms with him as the two of you walked away from Julian. Alison watched the two of you as you passed by.
“Eyes on Mike,” you called, “In a real fight that would get you killed and I don’t think you want to be joining us any time soon.”
“If I did would I be able to join you and the Captain on your walks?” Alison said with an amused smile
“What’s that?” asked Mike as you and the Captain walked through a wall
“Just y/n and the Captain,” said Alison, “Going on one of their little walks. Honestly, it’s kind of sweet how close they are to each other. I think it’s because they’re the only ones who really understand each other.”
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KWF Day 9: Rick Flag x F!Reader
Main Master List KWF Master List
Warnings: Language
Word Count: 808
Day 9: Stripping / Tossing and Turning / Game Day (sports)
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“I can’t fucking believe he chose soccer.” Rick sulks in the driver seat as you look back to your 7 year old, game ready in his uniform and oblivious to his father’s irritation about the chosen sport. “I mean I was playing football at his age!”
“Now, now Richard, your father made you play football and you resented it. Didn’t you?”
Rick huffs but hangs his head in shame because you’re right, his father made him do many things, most of which he regrets doing. But still, “why soccer out of the rest? Why not baseball?”
You tug your teeth between your lips as you stifle a giggle at your husband’s antics because what the former Special Ops officer doesn’t know is that you managed to subconsciously point your son into the direction of soccer, whether that being by telling stories of soccer players like Messi or Ronaldo, or even sitting your son on your lap while you watched the world cup. Either way, Rick is none the wiser to your scheme.
The closer the three of you get to the soccer field, the more you could feel the excitement bouncing off your seven year old, iPad and headphones long forgotten as he stares out the window with wide hazel eyes. “I hope we win!” You and Rick share a glance with each other before you look back at your son, a smile on your face.
“I’m sure you will honey. I’m sure you will.”
“We’re here.”
Now Rick would never say it outloud, but he had always fantasized about getting up on Saturday mornings, getting his kids dressed for their games and spending the better part of a day outside in the fall weather. But the real deal far surpasses all his fantasies.
“COME ON REF, THAT WAS A FOUL!” Rick jumps up from his lawn chair and screams at the top of his lungs, gathering the attention of everybody on and off the field.
“Rick, sit your ass down!” You yank his arm down as he scoffs and crosses his arms before looking at you.
“That was obviously offside!” You roll your eyes in amusement but bring his knuckles to your lips and press a gentle kiss to them causing him to blush underneath the brim of his baseball cap.
“Rickie, they’re only 7 years old. Fouls aren’t really a thing. Besides, that’s not what offside means.”
“Well they should be.” You lightly punch his arm and turn your focus back to the game just in time for the opposing team to put the ball in the net. “Oh come on, that’s bullshit!”
“Watch your language mister, there’s children present!” Some lady comments as the ref jogs over to you and Rick, causing you to sink further into the chair.
“Listen, sir, you need to watch your voice and calm down. This is a warning.” Rick nods his head and takes a seat back down as the game continues.
“This is such bullshit, that team should’ve never gotten a goal.”
“Babe, it’s just a junior league game. It’s okay.”
“Sure it’s just a ‘junior league game’ but I want our son to win. I know I didn’t raise a loser.” You roll your eyes in response to his demeanor.
“Our kid would never be a loser. Winning/losing doesn’t matter, what matters is if he has fun.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Rick pouts, hazel eyes training on the field as he spots a mop of blonde hair supporting a blue jersey running with a ball between their feet. “Holy shit, look it’s our kid!”
You surge forward out of your seat and clutch onto Rick’s hand because yes, it is your son running toward the goal with the ball at his feet. “Go! Go! Go baby!”
“Come on, come on,” Rick utters underneath his breath before the ball goes into the net. “GOOOOOAAAAALLLLLL! THAT’S MY BOY!” Rick shoots up out of his chair as the rest of the team’s parents cheer in unison but your son tunes the rest out, only focused on his mom and dad cheering him on from the side lines.
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“I can’t believe we won!” You son comments from the top of Rick’s broad shoulders, swinging his short legs as he holds onto his father via Rick’s ash blonde locks.
“You did really well, kiddo. Knew you’d win.”
“We’re very proud of you, honey. You did so well!”
“I overheard some other parents say that daddy was being mean. Is that true?”
“Daddy just got a little excited,” Rick comments with a smirk as you roll your eyes. Never did you think Rick would be more into the game than you are but he still proves you wrong on the daily. “Because you won, how about you, mommy and I go get some ice cream? How does that sound?”
“Yayyy ice cream!”
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General Tag List: @marvelousmermaid @himbovillain-anon @babblydrabbly @a-reader-and-a-writer @fairchildflag @infatuatedjanes @niki-xie
Joel Related Tag List: @aestheticallywinchester @loverhymeswith @xoxabs88xox @t-i-n-y-d-i-n-o @witchygagirl @the1redrose @ratcatcher2world @green-socks @weallhaveadestiny @yourjacketisnowdry @rachelh1992 @a-girl-who-loves-disney @knivesareout @bubblegloopswampwitch @waspswidows @burntghoost @mattymurdocksbitch @katjnordstrom96 @11thstreetvigilante @yespolkadotkitty @heresathreebee @madkovacs @wxr-zxne @wtfobiwan @alieninoklahoma @sociiallydiisoriiented @violetmuses
#rick flag x reader#rick flag x you#joel kinnaman#kinktober/whumptober/flufftober#hannah's kwf#rick flag#colonel rick flag x reader#colonel rick flag x you#colonel rick flag#colonel flag x reader#colonel flag x you#colonel flag#rick flag x female reader#reader insert#lacontroller1991#the suicide squad#tss#dceu tss#releasetheayercut
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Chanel No. 5 (1921)
Fresh decant, current formulation, eau de parfum concentration. Quoth the Chanel website:
Since its creation in 1921, N°5 has exuded the very essence of femininity. The abstract, mysterious scent—alive with countless subtle facets—radiates an extravagant floral richness. In 1986, Jacques Polge reinterpreted his predecessor Ernest Beaux’s composition to create a fuller, more voluminous version of the now and forever fragrance: the Eau de Parfum. With its unprecedented use of aldehydes and layers of complexity, N°5 was the world’s first abstract fragrance. The Eau de Parfum draws inspiration from the original Parfum. This floral bouquet, composed around May rose and jasmine, features bright citrus top notes. Aldehydes create a unique presence, while the smooth touch of bourbon vanilla yields an incredibly sensual sillage.
(Unofficially, a list of notes for this current formulation: Aldehydes, ylang ylang, neroli, bergamot, peach, iris, jasmine, rose, lily of the valley, sandalwood, vanilla, oakmoss, and vetiver. I have seen note listings for the original that included lemon, orris root, civet, ambergris, and patchouli, which Jacques Polge may have pared away. Supposedly there were something like 80 components originally, so who knows?)
So, look back up top at my teeth hurting. On March 21st, I tried my fresh decant of the legendary Chanel No. 5 from the Perfumed Court. I had no idea what it was going to smell like, except "aldehydes," and I had no real idea what those smell like, so this was going to be a learning experience all around—
I put a tiny swipe on my wrist and recoiled.
“What the fuck, this smells like soap! This is what it smells like—?!”
A headache thundered in. Agitated, I started writing:
***
Everybody is going to hate me now and I’m in too much pain to care. It smells like Dove. Like somebody bricked me in the nose with a bar of Dove soap. I did a quick google of what notes are in the Dove fragrance (1957?), and, while I didn’t get an official answer, I think the Chanel notes I’m getting in common with soap are lily of the valley (often used in cleaning products), iris (powdery), jasmine ("white flowers" in Dove), sandalwood, patchouli, probably vetiver and rose as well—and then, the “fatty, waxy” aliphatic aldehydes that give Chanel No. 5 a tactile resemblance to soap. I didn't understand what aldehydes were but NOW I DO. Like I can feel them in my nostrils, along with a citrus-peach pleading to get through. A headache so bad that my teeth started to throb emerged within ten minutes. I had an immediate emotional reaction so visceral that I was actually angry, and I have no idea why (in fairness: maybe the headache). I used Dove soap for several years, so there's no reason that something smelling like it should infuriate me. And yet.
It was extremely useful to ask y’all what “old lady perfume” smells like, because now I know: it smells like this. Or at least, this is what many of you described. But because I had no association of what “old lady perfume” or Chanel No. 5 should smell like, No. 5 smells futuristic to me. It smells like the moment Coco Chanel said to Ernest Beaux, make me a perfume "that smells like a woman and not a rose," a mere earthly flower. When Beaux said he was thinking of ice caps, I get it—an abstract that has never known living soil. The aldehydes leapt out of their laboratory beakers and slapped me in the face. This perfume smells like a powder room in a wax museum. This perfume smells like a soap carving of Marilyn Monroe in an immaculate faux fur stole. This perfume smells like something painstakingly concocted on Mars by space colonists who can’t remember what fruit or flowers smell like, but by God, they’re doing the best they can.
I held out for an hour before I washed the perfume off (and even then, it didn’t come off), once I was at least able to smell some ylang ylang and sandalwood fighting to come out from under the aldehydes. Apparently Chanel No. 5 doesn't really get good until a few hours in, but my pain endurance was maxed out by that point. I love citrus and peach and white florals and sandalwood and vanilla! I didn't want things to turn out this way!
Here’s what I want you to take away from this writeup: I had an intense negative reaction to the way the aldehydes combined with my skin chemistry, but I will have the decency to say that Chanel No. 5 is an icon. I understand that it lives forever in our imagination as the only thing Marilyn Monroe wore to bed, although I’m baffled as to why she’d want to. Actually, I’m almost a little in awe of it? No. 5 is one of those master compositions that’s so expertly blended that it smells like a being unto itself, and you can’t quite pick out what must be in it—although I at least thought Guerlain's Mitsouko smelled like a place on earth, unseelie or not. I actually think it’s kind of cool to imagine Chanel No. 5 as a galactic future fragrance, not just “timeless” but untethered from reality, white as a spacesuit; I’d just rather stay on earth with things that actually work with my chemistry.
***
Hey, while we're here: wtf is an aldehyde?
Why, they're organic compounds that Justus von Liebig discovered in 1835! They occur naturally in a number of essential oils, but are often synthesized artificially! The aliphatic subgroup "gives floral-aldehydic fragrances their characteristic impressionist sparkle"! (My brain just spat out, "If it's not from the Aldehyde region of France, it's just sparkling headache.") Bois de Jasmin continues,
Their scent ranges from metallic, starchy and citrusy to green, fatty and waxy (for instance, aldehyde C-11 commonly found in rose and cilantro smells like metal and dirty hair to me, but in tiny quantities it adds an impressive lift and freshness to fragrances).
Speaking of C-11, it appears with C-10 and C-12 MNA in Chanel No. 5. Let's jump over to supplier The Perfumer's Apprentice and look at those:
Aldehyde C-10 (Decanal): "Powerful sweet waxy orange peel like odor."
Aldehyde C-11 Undecylenic: "Waxy, Floral. The classic aldehydic note. Among the most commonly used aldehydes for 'aldehydic' effect. Often used with other aldehydes up to levels of a few percent. Trace amounts give rich natural floral effects."
Aldehyde C-12 MNA: "Fresh, amber, aldehydic, mossy, citrus, tuberose, metallic, waxy, coumarin."
I don't know which aldehyde(s) made me want to fistfight no one in particular, but there's nothing else in the No. 5 notes that would have possessed me with primal rage, so.
Obligatory further reading
I'm not going to belabor the ~legendary history of Chanel No. 5. Smell like a woman not a rose, convent upbringing, fixation on the number 5, iconic bottle, whatever. These articles do a better job of that than I could:
Fashion History Lesson: The Truth Behind Chanel No. 5
History of the Hero: Chanel No. 5
Perennial reminder: Coco Chanel was a fucking Nazi
But (short version) Coco Chanel sold the company to the (Jewish) Wertheimer brothers, then got mad and petitioned to get it back as an "Aryan," only to fail when Felix Amiot (Christian) temporarily held the company for the Wertheimers during WWII. The Wertheimer family still owns it to this day.
Which is a relief, I guess, for all the people who, even today, love the classic fra...
Is Chanel No.5 Obsolete?
Chanel No. 5 – Has it had its day?
CHANEL NO 5 always gets bad results in scent tests yet sells the most
Huh. I keep coming across this factoid that nobody likes Chanel No. 5 in tests nowadays if they're not told what it is, though I don't have a hard citation for it. There are lots of theories as to why, and any of them might be right: Our tastes have shifted towards lighter fragrances. Our tastes have shifted towards sweeter fragrances. It reminds us of older generations, and naturally, we seek out our own, contrasting styles. Chanel No. 5 was meant to smell "clean," but our idea of "clean" has changed (sure enough, I use a Dove vanilla-shea body wash instead of the bar soap now). We now wear entire Fragrance Wardrobes of niche perfumes rather than The One, The Only, The Soap Up Your Nose—
But then I realized: I don't actually know what The One, The Only, Now and Forever smelled like before 1986. Apparently the original musk and civet notes stood as a counterpoint to the soapy aldehydes, but they also gave some wearers an unpleasant "urine" note (which is a wild irony for something famously "clean"). But even at the worst of my headache, I didn't get any of that. Musk isn't even listed in the 1986 components. Rather, Jacques Polge "boosted the core with a powerful woody backdrop, making the scent announce itself and engulf space. Very 1980s indeed."
There it is. I don't know what the vintage Beaux composition (which you can still buy secondhand) smells like, but I was trying the big hair and shoulder pads formula. And I avoided "real" perfume most of my life because the big bombastic scents I grew up around gave me headaches. "Engulf space"—that fight-or-flight reaction I had to Chanel No. 5 might have been a kind of olfactory claustrophobia, even.
Chanel No. 5 Eau Première (2007)
In some burst of foresight, I had also ordered a decant of No. 5 Eau Première ("The First Fragrance"), a Jacques Polge re-reformulation that Chanel sells alongside the original. Honestly, it feels like an admission that the original just doesn't work for modern tastes: okay, fine, we made a wearable version of it. And there are people who still love the older incarnations! Who will tell you, in fact, that Chanel No. 5 is the only perfume worth wearing and everyone will come around to it in the end, as I grind my teeth politely!
With Eau Première, the headache took a solid two hours to set in, and I never resorted to washing it off. Rather than soap, it smelled like a clean and lemony diaper, reposing some tasteful distance away from my nose. The note that primarily came out from underneath that was a very warm and playful sandalwood—I think the ylang ylang must have been giving it a certain limpid clarity. (I know that sounds pretentious, but limpid is the word I keep coming up with—fluid, translucent, almost sunlit.) (In a diaper.) The first time I wore Eau Première, I got orange peel, but not any subsequent time—the fragrance was very distinctly "lemon," which must be how the aldehydes interact with my skin chemistry. I never got any extravagant florals or sensuous vanilla at all, just an eventual residue of cleanliness. On the whole, I didn't like it (unless you can just isolate that ylangalwood for me), but I didn't want to fight it, either.
User reviews I've read range from "YOU HAVE DIMINISHED THE GRANDE DAME" to "a lovely sparkling update." For all my dislike of No. 5, I feel like Eau Première takes the storied ivory monolith and transforms it from a bar of soap into a bubble bath. Still "clean," but lighter and more nimble; more easily worn, but with no intent to replace the flagship fragrance. Which is still the top-selling perfume in the world overall. And which the Chanel website now lists between Coco Mademoiselle and Chance, two "younger" fragrances that sell better in many markets. Look upon No. 5, ye mighty, and despair.
“Chanel No. 5 makes my teeth hurt”
— Cleolinda Jones, 2023
#perfume#perfume discussion#perfume: chanel#aldehydes#long post#sparkling headache#(งಠ_ಠ)ง#exclamation points!!
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Reactions to a vampire courier? Companions plus Benny, Ulysses, Graham, House, Caesar, and Yes Man. (sorry if that's too many :x)
TW: Blood (maybe obviously)
Also I don't normally feel some type of way about AUs but the idea of Joshua Graham encountering a vampire courier is giving me shivers
The courier was a little... strange. Not in any way that stood out to the average wastelander just by looking at them, everyone in the Mojave had their quirks and the courier was no exception. Hell, you get shot in the head and come back, you're bound to have a screw or two loose. They were unquestionably a night owl, but so were half the people on the Strip, who only started to wake up after the sun had gone down and the slot machines were singing their loudest. They usually had bags under their bloodshot eyes, but every caravan driver from here to the Hub was short on sleep.
On the other hand, the courier had some habits that were a little beyond surface-level eccentricities. For one, no one had ever seen them eating, not once. Even when the King laid out a spread of pre-war snacks and liquor or when the buffet at the Tops was refreshed, they politely declined and took a swig from the canteen that they never offered to anyone else. They were also rather odd about bathrooms, insisting that anyone accompanying them remain outside on watch and let no one else through the door until they were finished. But the undeniable moment of oddity came one night in October, when their companion rounded a corner in Freeside after a trip to the Atomic Wrangler and discovered the courier behind a rusted dumpster, holding a man against a brick wall with their teeth buried in his neck.
The courier drew back at the interruption, blood smeared across their face. "I'm not- it's not what- he- oh, fuck."
Arcade Gannon: Arcade stared open-mouthed for a moment, before snapping violently back into the present. "Is he dead?"
"Umm..." The courier glanced at the man they were holding, whose head was lolling against the bricks. "Yes? Mostly."
With no patient to resuscitate, Arcade rounded on them. "Six, what in the ever-loving fuck are you doing?"
The courier tried to wipe away the blood that was dribbling from their chin, but they only succeeded in spreading it up their jawline. "Well, I, um, I was trying to..."
Whatever excuse they were searching for eluded them, so they dropped the pretense. "I was feeding, Arcade."
"Feeding? What, like some kind of-" Arcade's eyes widened and he cut his sentence off early in realization. "No. No way. That's not- vampires aren't real!"
That earned him a look of intense skepticism. "Arcade, we've fought off plant monsters and rattlesnake-coyote hybrids together. I have a gun in my pack that lets me teleport."
"Oh, okay, so you have some kind of iron deficiency and you're delusional." Arcade laughed, the sound high and harsh in the quiet alley. "Great. Fuck."
Craig Boone: Rather than engage in an abandoned alley, Boone immediately backtracked to a busier street. He was unsurprised when the courier didn't follow him: Even in Freeside, someone covered in blood was sure to be noticed and questioned.
Boone left town that night and made for Novac. He was pretty sure the courier would follow him, but he didn't know where else to go. At least he knew they were coming. A few people in Novac asked about where he'd been, what the courier was up to, but eventually they stopped asking.
A couple of weeks went by. Boone was on the night shift again when the door into the dinosaur swung open to reveal the courier. He'd heard someone coming, their feet on the stairs, and he already had his gun pointed in their face. "We will never work together again," he said, before they could open their mouth.
"Boone, can you just-"
"I don't want an explanation." Boone shook his head. "I don't need one. I already did you a favor, leaving New Vegas without putting you back in your grave. This is over."
The courier took a deep breath. "71."
"What?"
"71. I've killed 71 Legion soldiers and left their bodies empty under the Mojave sky." They looked down and shuffled their feet. "I've tasted their fear. They're more scared of me than the Burned Man, now."
Boone studied them. Ever so slowly, he lowered his gun.
Lily Bowen: "Put him down, dearie," Lily chastised them. "You're playing too roughly with that man. And watch your language around your grandma!"
The courier looked down at their victim, at their torn throat and limp limbs. "He tried to mug me, Lily. It wasn't pretty."
"He looks like he's had enough," Lily insisted. "Set him down. Gently."
With a sigh, the courier obliged and lowered the man to the ground. "I'm sorry, Lily. I should have told you earlier. I don't mean to be rude when I turn down your cooking, I just... I can't seem to..."
"Hush, now." Lily produced her enormous handkerchief and gathered the courier up in her arms, dabbing at the blood on their face with a corner of the cloth. "You've gotten it all over yourself, haven't you? We can clean that right up, but it looks like Grandma's going to have to do a load of laundry. You made the mess, so you get to help."
Raul Alfonso Tejada: Raul swallowed nervously, something he'd noticed he was increasingly doing around the courier. "You know, we get murciélagos down in Arizona that do the same thing. They won't leave the brahmin alone."
The courier took in his anxious stance and sighed. "Raul, I'm not going to hurt you. Prometo. It's okay."
"Sure boss, but I don't think the hair on the back of my neck is going down anytime soon." Raul smiled, but it was more of a grimace. "Or it wouldn't, if I still had any. Como..?"
"No clue." The courier shrugged and held their hands up, letting the corpse they'd been holding slide to the ground. "I think it had something to do with me surviving Benny's best attempts to do me in, but a bullet is a bullet and I don't remember if I was like this before, or..."
"Or only after." Raul chuckled. "Jesucristo, and here I am thinking I'll outlive you like most everyone else I've known."
"Yep."
"Should I start calling you el chupacabra?"
The courier grinned, a bloody smile with sharp teeth.
Rose of Sharon Cassidy: "Fuck," Cass echoed, scrambling to pull her shotgun from its holster. "Knew I had too much, can't even- who are you and what've you done with the courier? Some kind of cannibal, wearing their skin? Alien? Shapeshifter? I'll blow a hole in your liver to match mine!"
"Whoa, Cass, it's me, it's me!" The courier dropped the man they were holding and held their blood-stained hands up. "Same old Six, just... maybe I wasn't straight with you about why I don't order anything at bars."
"Goddamn right you weren't straight with me!" Cass gestured at the body on the ground with the barrel of her gun. "Who's the fucker on the floor and why are you two pints in on him?"
"Just trying to get my drink on," the courier muttered.
Cass repaid this facetiousness with a jab of her shotgun, and they raised their hands higher. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! You tell me, how do you tactfully tell someone that you're a creature of the night and you need to drink blood to survive?"
"Creature of the night? You're fucking loopy." Cass' eyes narrowed. "There's plenty of critters in the Mojave that only come out when it's dark, but most of them don't tear into..."
She trailed off into curses when she realized she was wrong. The courier smiled hesitantly and lowered their hands an inch. "Hey. Let me chuck this failed mugger in the dumpster and we can talk about it like a pair of civilized folks?"
Veronica Santangelo: Veronica squeaked and fell back a few steps, banging her elbow against the edge of the dumpster. A jolt of confused pain shot up her arm, and the Scribe couldn't help giggling harshly at the sudden assault on her funny bone.
"Not- laughing... at murder," she managed to get out between hisses of pain. "Oh, for the love of... right, you're not getting out of explaining what you are, exactly, just because I'm indis-indisposed!"
The courier couldn't help laughing at the squirming Scribe, but they did their best to stifle it. "Sorry, I'm sorry, I um... I guess I don't really know... what I am?"
"There's books!" Veronica burst out, pointing at the courier and their victim wildly. "I've seen them, in old libraries. Creatures that feed on blood, only come out at night, don't show up in... in mirrors, of course, no wonder you're weird about bathrooms, I should test... Dracula! That's it, you're a Dracula!"
"A Dracula?" The courier held their hands up, as if seeing them anew. "Never heard of them. Are they... bad?"
"Well, traditionally, yes." Veronica made a face and rubbed her elbow. "Black cloaks, sleeping in coffins, seducing and manipulating everyone around them... and people don't like it when you take their blood, in my experience."
"Whose blood have you taken?"
"This isn't about me, Six!"
ED-E: The eyebot bobbed wildly and made noises of concern, blips and blats and a flat burst of trumpets from some old jazz tune.
"I was hungry," the courier protested. "And this asshole pulled a knife on me and wanted all of my caps. Probably more than that, if we're being honest. He wasn't doing the world any good, but he did me some, for sure."
ED-E flipped between old clips of a Silver Shroud radio show. "Well, isn't this a deep, dark <static> secret? <static> In a situation such as this, the best anyone can do is <static> try to control it!" The robot added some more concerned beeps for good measure.
"I'm trying," the courier said with a sigh, looking down at the dead man they were holding. "You know I wouldn't hurt some random person, ED-E. Not if I could help it. The Mojave's full of bad people, enough to keep me going if I'm careful."
Rex: The hair on Rex's spine stood up, and he let out a long, low growl. The courier froze for a moment, before realizing that he was growling not at them but at the man they were holding.
"He's dead, Rex," they reassured the cyberdog, lowering the corpse to the floor for inspection.
Rex sniffed the body over, taking in the copper scent of his blood and the Freeside stink on his clothes. He sniffed the courier too, each of their hands they held out to him and the thick headiness of adrenaline. He whined and wagged his tail twice.
"Good boy," the courier said, straightening up. "It's about time I turned in, anyway. Let's dump this guy and split."
Benny Gecko: Benny crossed his arms. "You know, Six, if you're dead set on getting your kicks in Freeside every now and then, you might want to ease up on the passions with the next greaser you snag. This one's torn all to pieces."
"I wasn't- what kind of-" The courier dropped the man they were holding and sputtered. "Christ, only you could make a midnight murder awkward, Benny."
"Murder?" Benny raised his eyebrows and looked from side to side theatrically. "Who said anything about a murder? All I saw was some dreamboat and the best apple butterer of New Vegas playing back alley bingo, officer."
The courier's eyes narrowed. "Not gonna rat me out? Tell the King or somebody that I'm..."
"What, taking a page out of the White Glove Society's book?" Benny held his hands up. "None of my business. Well, if you ever come for me with that look in your eyes, though, that'll be a different story."
"Not much you'd be able to do," the courier pointed out. "You already tried and failed to kill me once."
Ulysses: Rather than react like any normal wastelander might've upon encountering someone attacking a man with their teeth, Ulysses just stood there, taking the scene in. "Heard tales of a tribe like you. East, farther east than even I've walked... a coven hiding in tunnels, emerging only when their hungers grow too strong to ignore, strong enough to pull blood from the veins of the world around them."
"Well, I don't hide in tunnels." The courier grimaced and heaved their victim up over their shoulder, depositing them unceremoniously in the dumpster. "Unless some disgruntled Frumentarius sends me out to hunt mutants under Hopeville."
"Perhaps you have more in common with those predators than I assumed," Ulysses admitted. "But then, your path has always run red. Blood of the Old World, blood of the new, blood of the Bull and the Bear..."
The courier rolled their eyes as they peeled off their red-stained coat and tossed it in the dumpster as well. "Don't talk to me about blood. I know you've seen just as much as me, but it doesn't mean the same thing when I look at it."
Ulysses cracked a hint of a smile. "You see life where I see death. Two sides, courier."
"Yeah, yeah. If you're not going to try to kill me, come on. You can wax poetic and lecture me about which road I'm walking while I take a shower."
Joshua Graham: "A creature far from God," Graham said in his most reproachful tone. "Forever damned for the souls of the innocent they've taken from the earth. Aren't we a pair, courier."
"You can fuck right off with that attitude." The courier dropped the man they were holding and wiped their hands on their coat. "He tried to kill me first. For some caps."
"The crimes of others do not absolve you of your own sins, courier," Graham continued, leisurely retrieving his gun from its holster. He held it up in the muted neon light that filtered through the alley, turning the weapon this way and that. "Though I confess I am also looking for absolution in this way."
"Are you going to kill me?" the courier asked, eyeing the gun as well.
"I've no doubt it would leave this world better than when you walked it," Graham replied. "But my own opinions are not enough to seal your fate. Perhaps we should find this man's family and hear their feelings on the matter."
The courier took a step forward, then another, until their chest was right up against the pistol's muzzle, pressed against the fabric of their shirt. "Go ahead. Try."
And though Joshua Graham was sorely tempted to pull the trigger, though the courier made no move to stop him, something in their eyes... some faraway pain, older than the desert itself, fresh as the blood on the ground, stayed his hand.
He lowered the gun, chastised, and the courier walked away.
Robert House: The Securitron that bore Robert House's face on its screen leveled a minigun at the courier. "Whoa!" the courier protested, dropping their victim and putting their hands out. "Can't we talk about this?"
"And what have we to discuss?" House sounded absolutely disgusted. "I believe you're familiar with my contract with the White Glove Society. If they wish to continue their current prosperity in New Vegas, cannibalism is strictly forbidden. You are subject to the same terms and conditions, as one of my employees."
"Terms and condi- hold on, hold on, you never asked me whether I was a cannibal," the courier replied. "Are you talking about that document you had me sign, way back when I agreed to help you fight the NCR and the Legion?"
"The very same."
"How is that fair? That thing was over 200 pages long, I didn't grow up in the 21st century, I don't have a degree in... okay, okay." The courier waved their hands. "Cannibalism is a no-go. This isn't cannibalism, this is vampirism."
"Which falls under the definition of cannibalism," House replied, his annoyed tone still detectable over the sound of the minigun spinning up. "Section 3.65, subsection F. Next time, read the fine print."
Caesar: The Legion's great leader pivoted in an instant from surprise to quiet anger. "Clean yourself up, courier. I expect to see you in my quarters within the hour."
He turned and left the alley swiftly, letting his powerful stride and swinging cloak cover his shaken confidence. The people of Freeside cowered as he passed, shrinking into the shadows as he made his way back to the Strip, but the fear in their eyes was not enough to erase the image of the courier bent over in bloodlust, holding their victim in total subjugation.
The courier found him on the top floor of the Lucky 38, gazing out over the city he had conquered and named his Rome. "Leave us," Caesar bid his Praetorian Guard. They bowed and departed the room without question.
"You asked to see me," the courier said nervously, shifting their weight from foot to foot. They had changed clothes, and no trace of blood remained on them.
"I did." Caesar beckoned them to the window next to him. They stood in silence for a moment, watching the lights wink below.
"I'm a well-read man, courier," Caesar said finally. "I know the legends of the Old World, and I recognize the marks of one of their nightmares in you. I order you to tell me the truth: Do you fit the full definition of the creature they called 'vampire,' or do you simply mimic the things to add to your fearsome affect?"
The courier didn't answer right away. When they did, their voice was soft. "I pretend to be nothing. I am what I am."
"And everything that comes with it?" Caesar pressed. "Darkness, the blood of the innocent, eternity?"
"Yes."
Caesar turned to face them fully. "Then I, Almighty Caesar, command you to make me as you are."
Yes Man: "Now that's a twist I didn't see coming!" Yes Man said, his happy tone only slightly tempered with uncertainty. "Boy, am I glad I don't have a circulatory system right now!"
The courier shushed the Securitron and looked around the alley surreptitiously. "Yes Man, I swear to god, if you blow my cover I'm disassembling you."
"As I've told you before, I can't technically die!" Yes Man reassured them. "And I certainly wouldn't want to endanger you and your hobbies, but my volume mixer is tied to my enthusiasm simulator and I can't adjust it! You'll just have to hope any passersby aren't interested in following my friendly voice into an alley!"
"Then go back to the Lucky 38 and we'll talk later," the courier insisted, through gritted teeth.
"I technically never left! But if you mean this Securitron, sure thing!" Yes Man zoomed away on his single wheel, whistling the whole way back to the casino where the rest of his consciousness was housed. He kept whistling as he ran probability algorithms, only pausing when the courier returned after a few hours and crossed their arms in front of his main screen.
"Hi there!" he said joyfully. "I've just been cross-checking Mr. House's records on noteworthy disappearances in the Strip, and I've flagged eight of them as potentially being connected to you! I don't want to assume your intentions, but if you don't want to be found out, I've developed a plan for choosing your next victims that will help you remain undetected in New Vegas for 184 years! Give or take a few!"
The courier put their head in their hand and sighed.
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#vampire#vampires#fallout companions#fallout companions react#fallout new vegas companions react#fallout new vegas companions#fnv companions#fnv companions react#arcade gannon#arcade israel gannon#craig boone#lily bowen#raul alfonso tejada#raul tejada#rose of sharon cassidy#cassidy#veronica santangelo#ed-e#rex#benny gecko#ulysses#joshua graham#robert house#mr. house#caesar#yes man
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Can you do something with Bo Sinclair in his basement? Could be with his s/o or a victim
Bo Sinclair X Reader
Warnings: Dub-con themes/touching (no NSFW)
The Basement:
The room you sat in was dim and a little claustrophobic, which wasn’t surprising since you had been dragged down to a basement about half an hour earlier. You sat in the middle of the room on a chair with your ankles duct-taped to the legs and your wrists duct-taped to the arms, with a material gag in your mouth to stop you from making too much noise.
The room had no windows so the only light was coming from a dirty lightbulb that was swinging over your head. It wasn’t very bright but it was enough for you to make out the main features of the room. There was a table pushed up against the far wall in front of you with various items scattered over it, but you couldn’t make out the details of the items. You could also make out some sort of photos taped to the wall above the table but they were too far away and the room was too dim for you to make out the images.
During the half hour you were left to dwell on your situation, you thought back to how you ended up here. You had been invited on a road trip by an old school friend and some of her friends. You hadn’t even wanted to go but eventually talked yourself into it, and that trip brought you to the little town of Ambrose when the car broke down.
From the moment you arrived in the town you thought it was a little strange and eerily quiet but you couldn’t have expected just how sinister the secret it was hiding would be.
The sound of a heavy door opening behind you and slamming shut brought you out of your thoughts, filling you with panic again. You looked over your shoulder with wide eyes, seeing a man in mechanics coveralls and a baseball cap walking around you.
He didn’t even look at you, he went straight for the table against the wall opposite you, placing his shotgun down on it.
Of course, you recognised the man instantly. Bo Sinclair. The man who owned the garage, who had greeted you with southern charm and a handsome smile. He had been friendly, a flirt. Fuck, you had flirted with him.
“Your friends were...irritating and rude. Interrupting a funeral for a goddamn fanbelt” he man finally spoke up, still keeping his back to you, his tone filled with detest for your so-called friends. You glared at his back, you had felt sympathy for him before learning that it wasn’t a real funeral.
“Don’t worry, they’re all taken care of and Vincent is dealing with them. That just leaves you left and I’m going to take my time with you” Bo turned to you with a sinister smirk, “and I purposely saved you for last, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on you.”
You spoke but it was muffled by your gag. Bo seemed amused by this but walked over to you, hooking his fingers under the material and pulling the gag out of your mouth, letting the material hang around your neck.
“Bite me” you spat, figuring you had nothing to lose at this point.
He just smirked, amused by your attitude considering your situation. He moved closer, bringing his face uncomfortably close to yours. You tried to move your head back and away from him but he just followed you until you had nowhere else to go.
“Don’t tempt me” Bo flashed his teeth in a predatory manner and you could feel his breath fanning against your lips, making you shiver rather than cringe.
“Let me go” you pleaded quietly, uselessly pulling on the restraints.
“Still think you can save your friends?” Bo asked mockingly, tilting his head to the side.
“...they’re dead, right?” you asked, already knowing the answer. It was far too late for that.
“They are. Don’t worry, Vincent is taking care of them, just leaving you with me” his mock sincerity would normally make you roll your eyes but the threat of death was still too prominent in your mind.
“Let me go and I won’t tell anyone about this place” you tried to strike some sort of deal, grasping at any opportunity.
“You don’t seem all that beaten up about your friends” Bo didn’t even humour your deal, just squinting at you suspiciously. This certainly wasn’t the reaction that he was used too.
“I don’t even know most of them...just needed the ride” you weren’t exactly lying. You only knew the girl you used to go to school with and, to be completely honest, you didn’t know why she had invited you in the first place. That’s why you didn’t want to come in the first place, and now you were really kicking yourself.
“Ooh, cold” he hummed in amusement before pulling away from you, wandering back over to the table.
Bo picked something up, examining it before returning to you. Your eyes widened when you noticed the blade in his hand, staring at it as he approached.
“I swear I won’t tell anyone” you promised, pulling on the restraints again but with more desperation this time. “Please, just let me go, I swear to-” you pleaded before he cut you off by grabbing your face in one hand, squishing your cheeks together. Effectively shutting you up and making you look up at him as he brought his face closer to yours.
“Shut up” he warned darkly. “There’ll be time for begging and screaming later” the threat sent a shiver up your spine but you nodded, wanting to put off the torture for as long as possible even if that required obeying this man.
“This” Bo held the knife up in front of your face, making you look at it, “is just a warning of what will happen if you act out. Understood?”
You nodded but he squeezed your face harder, telling you that your response wasn’t good enough. “I understand” you managed to say.
“Good” he smirked before placing the knife down on a table beside you that you hadn’t even noticed until know.
“You broke one of Vincent’s figures, didn’t ya?” he asked as the hand that wasn’t holding your face landed on your knee. You tried to look down at it but he held your face in place. “Answer me” he demanded, squeezing your face and your knee.
“Yes” you answered.
“And you saw what we were hiding?” he asked.
“Only after you killed Clara” you told him, remembering your old school friend’s screams from somewhere else in the wax museum, causing you to startle and dump into a wax figure, breaking it.
“You can thank my brother for that, actually” Bo chuckled to himself as the hand on your knee moved a little higher up your leg.
“So where do you reckon we put the new additions...the museum or the church?” he asked rhetorically, just to taunt you, his hand slowly moving up the inside of your thigh. You didn’t answer, only trying but failing to wiggle away from his touch.
“You’re being very quiet, considering how much of a flirt you were being earlier” Bo teased, his hand now resting at the top of the inside of your thigh. “Or were you just being a tease?” he squeezed your thigh, making you gasp a little.
You refused to admit that you still found this man attractive, that his touch was igniting something within you. There was no way you could ever admit that, even to yourself. It was so wrong. No way.
“If you’re not going to answer me...” he hummed, taking the hand away from your thigh and reaching for the knife again.
“No!” you spoke up instantly, your eyes widened frantically.
“So, answer me” he demanded, his hand returning to your thigh, his grip rougher than before. “Were you just being a tease?” he asked again.
“...no” you breathed. You hadn’t just been teasing him when you met, the flirting had been sincere, the smiles had been sincere...and now you were here.
Bo just smirked, leaning closer to you. Adrenaline was coursing through your body as you felt his breath fan against your lips, his own so close to touching yours. You couldn’t move your face away if you wanted to, since his grip remained, but there was a sick part of you that didn’t even want to move away. A part of you that wanted this man ever since you laid eyes on him, a part of you that still wanted him...
“Bo?! You here?!” a somewhat familiar voice called from upstairs, making you look up out of instinct as Bo huffed in annoyance.
“Goddamn it, Lester” Bo muttered to himself before releasing your face and pulling away from you. “I’ll be right back, sweetheart” he winked down at you before heading for the door.
Leaving the room, he closed the door behind him and you heard the clicking of a lock...leaving you strapped to the chair alone in the basement once again.
Only then did you realise how heavily you were breathing and tried to steady your breaths to collect yourself. You pulled against the restraints once again but they didn’t budge, all you could do was wait for Bo to return and do who knows what.
Half of you, the conscious part, still searched the room for some possibility of escape, the other half, a more subconscious part, ran wild with the possibilities of what Bo would do with you once he got back.
You were focusing so much of your energy on trying to understand your own thoughts that you failed to notice that Bo had not put the gag back in your mouth, leaving you capable of screaming for help but with no intention to do so...
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As the name suggests, I'm always thirsty for the Big Guy 😉 I wonder how Kenpachi would react if Ikkaku found a piece of your lingerie in the barracks, but no one knew about your relationship?
The idea of Kenpachi being viewed as sus for fucking a 4th member fuels me so ofc. This got out of hand but I fully blame the energy IkkaYumi brings to anything ever and not myself. Thank you for understanding.
Features: smut (18+) at the mid-point, IkkaYumi being real <3 for the majority of it, and sub!Kenpachi (☆ω☆), also idk maybe some minor angst but like made Seggsy.
Kenpachi Zaraki x f!reader (and IkkaYumi...mostly them tbh.)
Ikkaku slapped the door open with loudest ‘OI’ he could muster. The paper of the door ripped somewhere along the way as it slid open, the wooden frame wobbling as he stepped into the room.
Despite the noise, Yumichika’s hand stayed steadfast as he finished smudging eye shadow on his outer lid. Another ‘OI’ sounded, but no hand shook him or foot kicked at him while Yumichika held a brush to his eye.
Glacial, he finished blending the color until he was satisfied--rinsed the brush--set it to dry. Through the mirror in front of him, Yumichika looked to Ikkaku’s reflection only after admiring his own.
The lacy scrap of undies in Ikkaku’s hand lifted Yumichika’s brow.
“I thought you hated when I wore those,” he said with a sniff, turning to get a better look.
Ikkaku rubbed at his bald head, “yah think that because I do.”
Yumichika gestured for the undies and Ikkaku threw them. “And yet?”
“Yet, I found ‘em anyway!” Ikkaku fell into a wide squat, his hands fisting into the fabric of his uniform over his knees. “In the captain’s office.”
They stared at one another, both settling deeper into their feelings.
“Ikkaku, you must be joking,” Yumichika said, holding the undies against his arm. “This color makes me look positively jaundiced.”
“You think captain gives a shit about color theory?”
Yumichika threw the lacy bit of bullshit at Ikkaku’s face. Smiling when they landed on his dumb, shiny head. “He won’t even let me do his hair, Ikkaku. Your delusion is exhausting me.”
“Then--”
“Yes, Ikkaku. Then, they’re not mine. And they’re someone else’s.”
Ikkaku pulled the undies from his head, squinting at them. “Huh.”
Rising with a flourish, Yumichika let the sleeves of his robe billow behind him as he went for the cabinet to rummage for sake. Possibly a new boyfriend.
He came back after a few gulps, offering Ikkaku the bottle only after giving him a sound kick to the head that sent the man flopping to the side.
“Hey!” Ikkaku steadied himself with one hand and rubbed where he’d been kicked with the other...undies still in hand. “Ya can’t blame me. No one else around here would wear that shit.”
Yumichika gave a flat look. Took another gulp of sake. Sighed heavily as he sank to Ikkaku’s level.
“Which means they belong to someone who would,” Yumichika offered along with the sake. “Someone from a different division.”
“Must be serious,” Ikkaku said, sake dribbling down his chin. “Never found anything in his office...ever.”
Yumichika kissed at the trail of sake and took the bottle back once he’d settled into Ikkaku’s lap. “That means whoever it is will be back. And now we know what to look for.”
Ikkaku grunted, shoving his tongue in Yumichika’s mouth before the man in his lap could swallow his sake, not pulling away until he’d swiped as much alcohol with his tongue as he could.
“That shit ain’t good enough for you, anyway.”
“I know,” Yumichika said softly, tone at odds with him rising to stand, heading for the door.
“O--” A raised hand stalled Ikkaku from pointing to his tightened hamaka.
“Fix my door first, dumbass.”
@
Ikkaku lowered from his tip-toes, a man afflicted. “No way.”
“I told you,” Yumichika said in a hiss. “Not just from 4th division, but a pencil pusher.”
You looked like the kind who’d scramble to bring an 11th division soldier any impossible request they bullied you for. The quintessential mouse every self-respecting soldier was inclined to paw at.
“Don’t look so fucking smug, Yumi,” Ikkaku grumbled, peeling off the wall and pulling Yumichika back towards the training grounds by the back of the puffed-up peacock’s uniform, right at the lower back. Yumichika had just gotten his fifth pay-back punch in when they hit the gate that separated captain’s estate from training ground.
Theirs might have been the only captain so enamored with battle that he’d moved his quarters as close as the captain general would allow. If it weren’t for the bullshit ‘housing codes and regulations’, Ikkaku was sure the house would’ve been on top of the large rectangle of packed dirt that served as the largest training ground in the entire division.
Once they’d hopped the low wall, more meant to keep Zaraki’s house away from the grounds than to keep his underlings on the grounds away from him, Yumichika fell on the nearest bench to fix his uniform.
“Well now what?” Ikkaku rubbed at his side, knowing he was going to need to stretch soon or the tight knot Yumichika had punched into his side or even a night drowned in sake wouldn’t numb it when he collapsed in his futon.
Yumichika didn’t look up from retying his stiff, decorative obi but his face softened, “Now that we’ve been successfully nosy? I was thinking that new, chic sushi bar near the 1st. The one where all the wait-staff look just as yummy.”
“No I, mean--yeah, we’re definitely going,” Ikkaku said, his previous thought tripping over the vision of pretty smiles from androgynous beauties. “But, what do we do about the captain?”
“Well, I’m not going to say anything, but I also have tact. And grace,” Yumichika shrugged, fluffing the bow of obi.
Ikkaku kicked dirt and tensed forward at the shoulders, like he planned to lunge and attack. “I ain’t no fucking snitch and you know it. Don’tcha?”
Sliding forward, Yumichika massaged at Ikkaku’s tense shoulders, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t saying you would. Just that you’re tactless. And might on accident--which makes you an idiot, not a snitch.”
“Damn right,” Ikkaku grunted, anything but Yumichika’s agreement sliding off his bald head like water. “Wouldn’t snitch for anything. But what if someone else finds out? Like a captain or something. We can’t kill one of them and--”
“Oh, stop worrying about it,” Yumichika said, interrupting and pulling at Ikkaku’s arm--he was hungry, both for refined food and beauties. “No one who wants to live will chance Kenpachi asking for a fight. Or that Captain Unohana; she seems vicious in a way more of our men should be. Such grace.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Ikkaku nodded, letting himself be dragged off for sushi, sake, and sublime wait-staff. Still, there was morale to think about. No hardened warrior of the rukongai wanted to hear their fearless leader had a weakness for...the weak.
There had to be something more to it but Ikkaku wasn’t going to dig more into his captain’s business. He was more than happy to put the shovel down and follow Yumichika, even as the truth sat uncomfortably at the base of his skull.
@
You were weak in all the ways shinigami measured such things--swordsmanship, spiritual pressure, and kido were subjects you studied more than you practiced, let alone pulled off. But you had enough power to pass school and be sorted into the 4th division ranks, where you excelled.
An aptitude for medical procedure, surgery, and technology was what garnered you not just safety, but respect among your peers.
As for the other divisions? Well, you had some friends in 12th who fully understood your position.
Kenpachi Zaraki? Certainly wasn’t someone who could relate to you.
But, that was fine.
You preferred your men muzzled, anyway.
“Too bad, Cap--tain,” you breathed, stretching his title with your tongue playfully. “I was hoping they’d find out everything.”
Pulling yourself up, one fist over the other, by the leather leash tied taunt around Kenpachi’s neck, you delighted in seeing the muscles there strain to accommodate your weight and the need for breath at the same time.
You pressed your lips against his ear after admiring the rough line of his mouth being forcibly split open by a ball gang, pretty, pink, and yours. “Can’t you go faster?”
His answering grunt was followed by his body pressing into yours quick enough turn your teasing into moans. That’s what you liked most about Kenpachi; he was always striving to be better and exceeding expectation.
it would be effortless for him to put his hands on you without permission or rip out the ball gag, but he didn’t. Even when you met in a grimy bar close to the 11th, too drunk to realize who’s thigh you were toying with, his attention to what you wanted was surprising.
You panted, toes curling as he hit that lovely spot only he ever had, “H-hands on hips.”
So eager, he kneaded from the tops of your thighs to your hips like dough, obviously glad to be rewarded. You were eager too--for the angle. Your hips tilted upward gave him more depth and your fingers tightened on his leash.
There was no need to command for more, because he was giving you his all. And he kept going until your scattered breathing paired with the tight heat he was pounding into you snapped all at once, so intense that your eyes watered.
While you basked in the trembling after shocks, catching your breath, Kenpachi went still.
Until you said, “Sit on floor.”
The bed creaked and rose as he left it, leaving you to collect yourself in peace. When you rose to sit, he was kneeling on the floor, his cock hard and bobbing above his thighs.
You walked to him slow, nails scratching through his rough, black hair as you circled behind him. “Such good work,” you praised, “Just like always.”
Trailing down to the buckle, your fingers made quick of his ball gag, parting it from his teeth gently, and tossing it on the bed.
“What do you want me to reward you with, Kenpachi?” You asked him, only once you’d come to face him, your hand urging his jaw up, his eyes on yours.
“To get off,” he said, shameless.
You hummed, “then do it.”
Frowning, Kenpachi leaned his face into your touch. “I want you to.....please.”
The word ‘please’ was said slow, his eyes leaving yours several times before he said it. You wondered how many people Kenpachi Zaraki had ever asked, for anything. Let alone, with manners.
You kissed his nose, finding the almost demure behavior cute, “Then I will. Lay down.”
He did, his arms behind his head, like he napping under a tree instead of waiting for your hands to give his weeping cock relief.
You took your time, teasing him with sensation by spitting into your hand and giving him light rubs, again and again until his hips lifted off the ground.
The lacy bit of pink undies that stretched tight over his thighs, were yours too. And you peeled them off, throwing them toward the ball gag as his breathing grew heavy in the air.
Perhaps you deserved less teasing, but you couldn’t resist dragging out the fun a touch more, one hand fondling his tightening balls while the other scratched lightly at his inner thighs.
His breathing was catching on groans and audible ‘ah’s that had you biting your lip. Thigh’s clenching, you finally began circling the tip of his cock. Soon, you were giving him his first pump, slick hand trailing his length from tip to base in smooth, steady motions.
Straddling his thighs, you took advantage of the position and put both your hands to work, gripping him harder but keeping the same pace.
“Look how hard you are,” you cooed, hands pausing as your thumb circled the slit topping the bulbous head of his cock. “Do you want to cum for me?”
His, “yes,” was immediately pushed from his heaving chest. You hummed, so tempted to climb on top of him fully. But, that would be a kind of weakness you didn’t allow yourself.
Kenpachi’s lone eye struggled to stay open as you lowered your lips to kiss the tip of him. You rose back up and licked them as he watched, his pre-cum salty as it settled on your tongue.
You couldn’t call him unraveling under your firm, fast touch seeing him at his weakest. But, you were certain it was a kind of vulnerable he seldom experienced. Even his arms had come from behind his head, his fingers flexing around air while he struggled to keep them away from you. His hips began bucking with such strength that you were forced to tighten your thighs around his to keep your place.
Desperate, is what he was. For you to give him what he worked for.
And, you did.
His cock pulsed as you wrung his orgasm out, thick ropes of cum falling over his sweaty stomach and dripping down your hands. His moan was loud, deep, and reverberated through out the room like a cry of victory.
You kept stroking him until he was completely spent, until he made a sound almost like a whine.
“I need--”
He sat up, setting you on the floor before padding to the bathroom, and coming back with a damp cloth. “Here.”
“Thank you,” you said, keeping your eyes on your hands as you willed yourself to calm down. His orgasm had made you want him again, badly. But you had things to do. He had things to do.
What you had with Kenpachi was strange and tenuous. And your smug confidence drained a bit as you cleaned yourself and him, until you were almost unsure.
What now? You’d never even seen his house before this. Always in more public places, where you parted almost immediately after playing with him.
“You want these back,” he asked, lifting the ball gag and undies in one hand while pulling back the blankets on the bed with the other. The leash was already on the bedside table, his neck angrily red still.
If you took them, you wondered if it was all over. “No, you should. They’re easy enough to clean.”
“...You sure?”
You nodded, not so attached to a couple cheap props that you’d be wounded if something happened to them. “They’re all yours.”
Shrugging after a moment of silence, he gestured with his head to the bed, “unless you wanna take a shower first.”
“I’m fine for now,” you responded, climbing under the blanket, more confused than obedient. “Are you tired?”
“Enough to sleep.”
The bed dipped from his bulk, forcing you closer. He tossed an arm around you, so you could get comfortable against his side. You lay your head on his chest, eyes still open, listening to him breathe.
At first, you’d thought maybe it was all a joke. That Kenpachi Zaraki was trying to trap you into....something, like those men who feigned nice before using all their muscle to force you to bend as they wanted. To teach you a lesson for trying to dominate him.
You didn’t delude yourself into thinking you had real, tangible power of him or any man you’d toyed with, after all. Just something momentary, like a brief understanding.
But you felt less cautious as your eyes drooped shut and your thoughts circled around his intentions. He always approached you and asked, vague and gruff, ‘here good?’ And you’d find a closet or office or twisty alley that would do.
This time, you asked him. And he took you to his bedroom, compliant as ever, waiting for you to sprinkle nice words in his ear, for you to give him pleasure for being his best.
Drifting off to the rise and fall of his chest, you wondered if things like that meant so much to him.
#this is very lightly edited bc im so short on time lately#but this was fun#kenpachi zaraki smut#kenpachi zaraki x reader#kenpachi zaraki#bleach sm#bleach imagines#bleach scenario#zaraki-oriented#kenpachi: i like being praised and having someone acknowledge me#reader: wait....is this....kind of depressing and not just kinky?#but fr i just think dommed kenpachi is hot and i can not resist sprinkling crumbs of angst
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Hi, I love your blog so much! I recently got ankle lateral ligament reconstruction done, and as an athlete, it sucks so bad. I watched my basketball team play yesterday, and it felt really horrible to watch them lose by one point in overtime when I know I would have made a difference if I were on the court... I know you have lots of asks and prompts, but if you have the time and want to, could you possibly hurt me more than I’m already hurting with some angsty ankle injury stuff😩 like maybe Cap watching the Lions lose without him.
Thank you for all the awesome fics you write! Your blog is amazing!
Anon, this ask really struck a chord with me and I wanted to do it justice as best I could--going through a sports injury like that is the worst feeling in the world, and watching your teammates play without you just adds salt to the wound. Sending all the love and healing vibes your way, okay? Please keep me updated on how you're feeling if you feel comfortable <3
Combined with an ask for pre-Coops and Sirius' photo of Remus! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove
TW for canonical injury and mentioned scars (Remus)
Sirius felt a nudge at his arm and his irritation flared, but he did not take his eyes off the game. “Fucking hell,” he muttered as James missed yet another blatant pass. There’s three.
The next nudge was more insistent.
“What?” he snapped, sparing half a glance to his left and feeling his stomach swoop.
Remus raised his eyebrows and held the mouthguard out further. “Either put this in or unclench your jaw.”
You’re not my mother, Sirius almost snarked back, just to be even more of an asshole. He was cold from being at the rink without his gear, severely pissed off by the general bullshit happening on the ice, and the itch in the boot locked around his stupid fucked-up ankle was slowly driving him mad.
Remus offered the mouthguard again, and Sirius’ temper cooled by a few degrees at the soft encouragement on his face. Pretty, his brain supplied. He swallowed hard around his sudden dry mouth and shoved the plastic between his teeth, beating back the unruly emotions with a mental baseball bat. Nope. Not tonight. Focus on being angry.
Logan got distracted, and Finn paid the price as an enforcer slammed him against the boards; he bounced back immediately, but Sirius ground the mouthguard so hard it squeaked. “Tabarnak—”
“Come with me for a sec,” Remus said, raising his voice just enough to be heard over the angry shouts of Lions fans.
Sirius shook his head. What he wouldn’t give to be in the heart of the fight, letting off some of the steam that had been building with no outlet for weeks. “Game’s not over.”
Remus pressed his lips together, but said nothing; Sirius’ throat constricted as he looked at the scoreboard. There may have been three full minutes left on the clock, but the Lions had already lost—unless they pulled a miracle out of their asses, this game would be a stain on their record. Or if they just let me play.
Sirius sighed through his nose. The urge had been growing stronger the longer he stayed cooped up and restless, banging at the walls of his brain and bringing headache after headache.
“Cap.” The hand on the back of his bicep was surprisingly gentle and he closed his eyes as Remus gave him a light tug. “Come on. We can at least be productive instead of sitting here and stewing.”
He smells nice. How does he always smell so nice? Sirius stood and followed Remus down the tunnel, not even bothering to force smiles for the people pounding on the glass partitions. Don’t focus on the game.
Focus on his shoulders, something close to his heart suggested. You like his shoulders.
He scrunched his nose up at the thought—if he dwelled on the smooth, strong curve of Remus’ upper back for any longer, he would start remembering the one time he saw them bare, covered in sweat with scars that shone like moonlight and—
“Are you okay?” Remus asked, snapping him back to reality. Sirius jumped and concern flickered over the golden planes of his face. “You’re twitchy tonight.”
“Just…” He made a vague, aborted motion toward the ice before continuing toward the PT room, though he did not miss the worried look Remus shot him. Fantastic, now I look like a dick and an idiot.
“What’s going on, Sirius?” The door clicked closed behind them and Remus leaned against it with his arms crossed loosely as Sirius limped over to the table and sat down, pulling the mouthguard out. He stared at the floor and the hunk of plastic—don’t think about how nice his voice sounds around your name. Don’t.
He shook his head; through the door, the sounds of the game were faint. “They’re better than this.”
“Yep.”
“They’re all going to be angry tomorrow, which makes them sloppy.”
“Probably.”
“Coach will be upset.”
“No question.”
“It’s the Badgers.”
Remus made a face. “I know, right?”
“They’re a good team, but—” He tightened his jaw again and looked away.
“But we’re better,” Remus finished for him.
“Yeah.” Silence fell between them for a few moments, though it wasn’t uncomfortable. Being quiet around Remus was never uncomfortable, and Sirius was pathetically grateful for every scrap of it he could get. “I—the game would be different if I was out there.”
“Would it?”
“It would.” He had been going over every mistake for two and a half hours, placing himself in like a chess piece to stop the missed passes, fumbled pucks, and thoughtless plays. “They need me with them.”
The paper crinkled as Remus sat down next to him, and every one of Sirius’ senses went on high alert. “They need to you get better,” he said simply, those caramel-apple eyes making Sirius’ knees go weak. “Have you been doing your exercises?”
“Of course,” he scoffed.
“Good.” There was no defensiveness or indignation in Remus’ voice—guilt snapped, a firecracker behind his teeth.
“Sorry.”
Remus smiled wryly. “When you’re around injured hockey players all day long, you get used to a little bit of bitchiness.”
“I’m not bitchy!” Sirius spluttered. The poorly-concealed amusement on Remus’ face made mortification heat his cheeks. “I’m not!”
“Uh-huh.” The note of smug disbelief should not have been as attractive as it was. “Alright, lay down.”
Sirius swore he heard a few crackling noises as his brain short-circuited. “Quoi?”
“I’m not kneeling on freezing linoleum to check out your ankle, Cinderella,” Remus snorted. “Now get a wiggle on.”
“You have the strangest sayings,” he said as he laid back and stretched his leg out, bewildered and yet somehow relieved.
“And you—” Remus pulled the top buckle free. “—have no appreciation for the great American north.”
“I can take it off,” Sirius mumbled, feeling redness rise once again.
He cocked an eyebrow. “The boot? I might not be a muscle-bound athlete, but I’m pretty sure I can manage a couple strips of Velcro.”
“No, it’s—doesn’t touching people’s feet freak you out? Like, the sweat and everything?”
“If it did, I’d have to find another profession, because I’m damp all the time from you fuckers and you all seem to have a habit of breaking things below the knee. Bend.”
Sirius complied, drawing his knee toward his chest. His bare foot looked weird in the bright lights, pale and still swollen, but Remus was as golden as ever. You can watch from afar, he conceded when the cute little furrow appeared on Remus’ forehead while he felt around the bone. Just for a little while. “Your hands are warm,” he said before he could stop himself.
Remus glanced up, and his small smile caused a flood of butterflies in Sirius’ stomach. “Thanks. They’re usually pretty cold, so I’m glad I’m not accidentally giving you foot hypothermia.”
“Is that real?”
“No,” Remus laughed. Sirius wished he could keep that sound forever. “How’s that feel?”
“Uh, fine.” He blinked a couple times to come back to himself as Remus put light pressure on the sole of his foot. “Still fine.”
“You’re a lot more flexible than before. Things are healing well.”
A loud buzzer went off outside—Sirius closed his eyes as disappointment and frustration fired up once more. The crowd wasn’t cheering. The windows weren’t shaking. He didn’t even want to look at the TV to check the score. I should be out there, he thought for the umpteenth time. I’m letting them down.
“I’m sorry,” Remus said quietly as he worked through a few more exercises.
“Not your fault.”
“It’s not yours, either.”
Sirius wanted to believe him. “I’m the captain.”
“And you’re being responsible by doing this with me so you can heal faster.” People rushed past the door outside, but the PT room remained peaceful. Sirius stared at the plain ceiling and wished for a miracle. “They miss you.”
“Y’know, that’s not exactly making me feel better.”
“Sorry.” They lapsed back into silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“No.”
“Cool.”
Sirius chewed the inside of his lip for a solid two minutes, following Remus’ simple instructions without looking at him. He should have been out there with them, ankle be damned. It was basically healed anyway; they were just tying up loose ends, and maybe Remus needed to be a little less careful. “Is this really necessary?”
“I’m gonna give you five seconds to ask a different question.”
“I’m just saying, it feels fine and—”
“Time’s up.” Remus let go of his foot and Sirius only spared a moment to mourn the loss of his comforting touch before he caught the stormy, mulish stubbornness that took the place of Remus’ concentration. “Sit.”
“I am.”
He narrowed his eyes, and Sirius dragged himself upright with a huff. Arguing with Remus Lupin was about as useful as arguing with a brick wall, and that was coming from someone who won the ‘Most Stubborn’ superlative at their last end-of-year party. “First of all, ankles are annoying and the soft tissue will still be damaged even if the bone is healed. Second, it’s my job to fix you up so your boys stop whining to me about healing you faster. And third, I’m not giving up on you.”
Sirius paused for a long moment. “What?”
“I’m not giving up,” Remus repeated. His jaw set and he made direct eye contact. “I would love nothing more than to kick Snape in the kneecaps and let you go out there as soon as you can stand on your own, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to make sure you’re ready to kick ass and take names no matter what that little shit was trying to do. So don’t you dare sit there and try to chicken out at the finish line, because I know you want this even more than I do.”
In his chest, Sirius heart was hammering like he had just run five miles. I’m not giving up on you. Sirius had never wanted to kiss him more. “Thank you.”
Remus softened with a slow breath. “We’re in this together, Sirius. You and me.”
“I know.”
“Then let’s get to work. Next time you play the Badgers, make ‘em regret this game.”
--------------------------------
Sirius walked back toward the locker room feeling rather nauseous. The whole team leaked their bad moods into the air—Arthur had barely looked at them before sending them home with a quiet “we’ll talk more tomorrow”, the equivalent of an arrow through Sirius’ heart. I need a pick-me-up, he thought as the rest of the guys trooped out in a melancholy raincloud. He fist-bumped each of them, per tradition, but their responses were weak at best.
Ice cream sounded good. Maybe a milkshake. Oh, who was he kidding, he needed a solid hug and something other than ice to look at. Not for the first time, he contemplated getting a dog, just so the house wouldn’t be empty and dark when he returned.
Laughter rang out ahead and Sirius inhaled sharply, letting the sound roll over him. “I’m not kidding!” Moody chuckled.
“Bullshit,” Remus countered, still snickering. “There is no way—”
“I’ve been around here longer than you’ve been alive, kid.”
“Yes, yes, I know,” Remus groaned, though Sirius could hear the smile in his voice even from around the corner. “You only bring it up every goddamn day.”
“Brat.”
Sirius entered the room just in time to see Remus playfully knock the side of his foot against Moody’s; both were grinning. “Isn’t it past your bedtime, old man?”
Moody nodded to him. “Night, twelve.”
“A demain,” Sirius called, offering a slight smile as his eyes lingered on Remus. He was leaning back against the wall with stick tape in his hands—his hands, which never failed to make Sirius throw caution to the wind—and raised it in farewell. “See you, Loops. Thanks again.”
“No problem, Cap.”
He grabbed his duffel off the floor and slid his keys, wallet, and phone into his pockets as Moody and Remus resumed their conversation. He wondered how long they usually stuck around, and if they would oppose him staying—he wouldn’t interrupt, but being around people who weren’t going through the five stages of grief already felt nice.
An idea struck as Remus’ laugh raised goosebumps on his arms once again. With a careful glance over his shoulder, he slipped his phone out and snapped a picture before hurrying off toward his car. His breaths were shallow; that was such a creepy move, and surely one of them noticed—
No voices chased him. Nobody gave him strange looks. He waited until he was safely in the front seat of the car before unlocking his phone, and all the air in his lungs left in a rush.
The photo was perfect. It caught the lopsided tilt to Remus’ mouth, his slender-but-strong fingers, his long legs, the scrunch of his nose mid-laugh. Everything Sirius never let himself look at for long. He didn’t have much space left among the collection of paper memories on his dresser, but maybe if he put it in the back where nobody would see it unless they knew where to look…
He turned the car on. Later. He would print it out and deal with the taut rubber-band-ball of feelings later. Until then, he could settle for the imprint of Remus’ warmth taking away the pain in his ankle and the determination on his face as he promised to bring Sirius back from the personal hell he was living in. You and me, he had said, and Sirius wanted nothing more than to believe it.
#fanfic#my fic#sirius black#remus lupin#alastor moody#james potter#logan tremblay#finn o'hara#sweater weather#coops#injury#pre-coops#lumosinlove
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Golly, Archie!
[Based on an inbox request sent to me by @tfkinky ]
Hiram Lodge stood in front of the mirror and adjusted his tie. Today, as with every day, he looked his best and most professional. The crisp black dress shirt wrapped around his powerful chest, his strong arms were hugged by a deep blue suit coat, and a matching tie perfectly pulled the look together. His eyebrows were neatly shaped. His hair... not a strand out of place. He radiated power, and for a good reason: Hiram Lodge basically owned Riverdale.
He was close to literally owning Riverdale, but he had two items left on his to-do list: Archie Andrews and Jughead Jones. At his every chance to claim total control, those two thugs somehow managed to thwart his plans at the last second. If he could get rid of them, nothing would stop him.
And as it turned out, there might be a way to get rid of them.
In a particular moment of desperation, Hiram had made his way to a local witches’ coven. There, he had learned an interesting fact: there was an alternate version of Riverdale in a local parallel universe. One where life was very, very different.
After a series of shady deals with the witches, Hiram was taught a spell which could be used to completely rewrite the reality of an individual and slip them into this alternate universe. Only in his case, it would be two individuals.
Now, Hiram walked over to his desk. He had drawn a pentagram and lit candles as instructed by the witches, and spread out in the middle were pages from a 1950’s comic, showing teenagers living in the time period. On top of the comic pages were two photos: one of Archie, and one of Jughead. Hiram made small cuts in each of his palms, and held them palms-down over the photos. As his blood dripped onto the setup, Hiram chanted:
Little boys who think they’re cool.
Hot shots, now made into fools.
No longer swear, no longer act mean.
Learn to say golly, nifty, and keen.
Slick your hair and dance the jive.
Welcome to 1955.
With each word, the photos began to warp and shake as if they were water. Slowly the photos began to almost melt into the comic, until they disappeared from the table completely. Instead, the comics now featured two new characters: goofy looking 50’s versions of his former foes. The candles blew out.
Hiram smiled to himself. What fun they’ll have
Archie wiped sweat off his brow. He had been mowing lawns and trimming hedges all day. In an effort to make some extra cash on the side he had started his own lawn care service for the good people of Riverdale. It was tough work, but the money was nice. And he got to walk around shirtless all day, which was a nice plus.
As he threw down another bag of clippings, Archie heard a voice in his head.
“You’re a good boy, Archie.”
Archie paused. He looked around. There was nobody else on the street right now. Had he imagined that? He shook his head and went back to work.
... but even as he worked, Archie couldn’t stop thinking of that little voice. The phrase “good boy” stuck with him, and bounced around in his head like a lone thought running free. Archie had never considered himself one of those goody two-shoes guys. Given everything that happened in this town, everyone had to have a bit of dirt on on their hands. But what if he didn’t? What if he had the chance to do better, wash his hands off and dedicate his life to being a good son and a good member of the community. Well, gosh, wouldn’t that be something?
Before these thoughts went any further, Archie snapped back into the moment. It was a nice idea, but this was his life.
“You’re a well-behaved, well-mannered boy.”
He hear the voice from nowhere again, and this time it sounded even more persuasive. Unconsciously, Archie shifted his back and stood straight, rigid as a board. It was like second nature - without thinking, Archie knew to look upright and presentable at all times. After all, that was the way any well-behaved boy should act.
And as he shifted into a proper posture, he felt a wave of Euphoria was over himself. Standing tall allowed him to push out his chest and show off his arms, after all. He smiled a wide, wide smile. Acting in this way, being a good boy, it made him feel indescribably happy... and also a bit horny. There was a strange feeling bubbling inside of him, growing stronger with every second. A feeling of peppiness, and perkiness. Archie knew it was right to help people. Gosh, that’s what good guys do, right? That’s why I’m mowing my neighbors lawns for free, Archie thought to himself. But no - that’s not right. No, I’m trying to make money... aren’t I? Archie felt confused, like his truth was being clouded and replaced by a new preppy reality that was only getting more intense. Golly, how much farther could this go?
“You have sharp dress style.”
With those words, the few clothes Archie was wearing flew off his body. He immediately moved to cover himself up, until the wave of preppy euphoria relaxed him again. He didn’t really miss his old clothes that much. Sloppy jeans and t shirts? And he had the audacity to walk around shirtless? Unacceptable, Archie thought to himself. I can’t look sloppy, I’m 18 for Pete’s sake! I should be dressed to the nines at all times!
The universe seemed to comply with Archie’s new thoughts as a fresh set of clothes wrapped themselves around him. 1950’s style tighty whities slip up and covered his private areas, nicely cupping his sizeable package and perfectly outlining his firm, round buttocks. The waist band went up to his high waist in that classic 50’s style, a style that Archie was coming to think of as his own.
A white dress shirt appeared next, buttoning itself up to the very top button. The shirt was tight against Archie’s beefcake body, and the outline of his pecs and arms could be seen through the shirt, a feeling Archie didn’t mind. The shirt had a small polka dot pattern on it, but of course it did. Archie loved fun patterns on his clothes! Sometimes he wore multiple bright patterns just to feel extra nifty.
Today was one of those days, apparently, as wool dress slacks with a plaid pattern slid up Archie’s thick legs, coming to rest at his high waist. Through the pants the outline of his full buttocks could be seen. The shirt tucked itself into his pants. As if I would ever go anywhere with my shirt untucked! Archie wanted to guffaw at the thought!
A plaid green bow tie wrapped itself around Archie’s neck into a perfect bow (Archie had mastered the art of tying a bow tie many years ago. He hardly left the house without one). As it locked into place, the wide smile on Archie’s face got wider. He felt absolutely giddy in these clothes. Golly, he loved to dress crisp like this! It made him feel real boss.
Pristine white dress socks rolled up his feet, and wingtip loafers wrapped around them. The shoes were brown leather, so perfectly polished that Archie could see his reflection in them. He polished his shoes every night, he liked to keep them looking a spiffy as possible. A matching brown leather belt, just as polished, cinched his waist, further defining his beefy build.
Over the top of the whole ensemble, a knit sweater vest appeared, in a deep blue. Emblazoned on the front was a gold “R” - for Riverdale High, of course! Archie loved his school and had a number of sweater vests, sweaters, ties, caps, and other pieces of merchandise for the school. He loved to incorporate them into his look - Riverdale’s quarterback should show his school pride, after all!
“You look clean-cut and presentable at all times.”
Archie’s hair ruffled as gel began to flow through it and lock it in a slicked back position. His signature red locks now looked like a plastic helmet on top of his head, perfectly styled into a neat all-American side part (the way every man’s hair should look!), and lightened until it was almost a cartoonish orange.
Archie’s bushy eyebrows slimmed out, taking on a clean styled look, and the pores on his face vanished. Archie how had an impossibly clear and bright complexion, aside from a smattering of freckles across his checks. His teeth straightened into a perfect row. His eyes shined a bright blue, even if his gaze was now a bit mindless.
Archie’s look had totally transformed. He no longer looked like the tough jock he was before. He now dressed like a total square. But Archie didn’t care, he thought his dress style was neato! An artificial perfection settled over his whole look, locking Archie in plasticine preppiness.
Archie rubbed his new clothes. Gosh, he enjoyed the feeling of them so much. As his fingers circled his chest, he heard several more words from the voice, only now he willingly welcomed them:
“You obey your parents, Archie.”
“You follow all orders you’re given.”
“You always hold the door open for those behind you.”
“You’d never do something without asking first.”
“You always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.”
“You are a good boy, Archie.”
With every command that rang through his vacant head, Archie’s wide smile only got wider. The perky feeling was growing. It wasn’t just in his stomach, it had spread through his arms and legs, into his fingers and toes and into every hair on his head. On a molecular level, Archie felt like a keen all-American teen. A swell guy who helped old ladies cross the street, always had dates home by 10PM sharp, and ended nearly every sentence with “sir” or “ma’am” when talking to an adult.
Archie’s connection to this Riverdale was fading. The squeaky clean school boy now had little in common with the unforgiving town he had grown up in. Instead, he was coming into alignment with the other Riverdale, the one where wholesome American values had never gone out of style. His memories had also shifted from the old Riverdale to the new, as he only ever remembered the 1950’s haven as his home.
But there was so much to do there! Heading to the malt shop! Going to sock hops with Betty and Ronnie! Listening to records! Gee whiz, Archie enjoyed his Riverdale life so much, he wanted to be there right now!
“Archie, it’s time to go home.”
For a brief second, Archie’s head spun as the world flashed and shifted around him.
Only for a brief second, though. After that, it was back to the setting Archie knew and loved. Technicolor houses, white picket fences. Children playing in the street. Home. Archie sighed and smiled. He was at peace here.
Suddenly, Archie remembered his plans for the day. He was going to pick up Veronica and take her to Pop’s. Without missing a beat, Archie ran to Veronica’s house. His knock on the door was answered by this Riverdale’s version of Veronica, sporting a prim blouse and skirt, with bobbed hair.
“Hiya, Ronnie!” Archie exclaimed with a wide grin.
“Hey there, Archiekins!” Veronica pulled Archie into a hug.
The two embraced for a moment and looked at each other sweetly. It was puppy love, plain and simple. Archie always wanted a girl to be sweet for, and Ronnie was the right one for him. And if he was lucky, they might get to play some backseat bingo in his station wagon later.
“Ready to go, sweetie?” Archie asked. Veronica responded with a nod, and the two made their way to Pop’s to split a sundae. Another perfect Riverdale day!
———————————————————————
Jughead paced the floor of his dad’s trailer. He’d been tipped off by a connection on the outskirts of town that Hiram Lodge had been seen paying a visit to the local coven. That could only mean he was up to trouble. Jughead had been trying to contact Archie all day, but his friend had seemingly gone off the grid. Jughead was getting concerned that it wasn’t a coincidence. If Hiram was resorting to black magic, Jughead had no idea what to expect or how to respond. As much research as he did, that was one area he did not mess with.
But now Jughead felt like he was at the end of his line. Hiram had tried multiple times to take him and Archie out, and if he had finally figured out a way, Riverdale was doomed.
He had to contact the witches. That was the only way, Jughead decided. He would drive out there and convince them to undo whatever Hiram had them do. He would beg, make them see that the safety of Riverdale was on the line. It wasn’t his best plan, but it would have to work. It would have to.
Jughead picked up his keys, but dropped them again just as quickly after a booming voice echoed inside his head.
“You’re a good boy, Jughead.”
He couldn’t move. He knew this was the end. But even scarier than the absolute terror he was feeling in the face of defeat, was the fact that those feelings of terror were disappearing. As much as he didn’t want to listen to the voice, the phrase “good boy” just refused to go away. It comforted him, the idea of giving in. Jughead had worked for so long to be a total nonconformist, and yet in this moment he wanted nothing more than to just fit on. Be one of the boys.
Jughead was terrified by the thoughts he heard and felt. He was fighting to hold on to his consciousness, but it was quickly becoming a losing battle.
“You’re a goofy, fun-loving guy.”
Jughead chuckled. He sure did feel that way sometimes. All throughout high school he had been a class clown, always making light of the situation. It was just his way of seeing the world. He liked to make people laugh, but nobody laughed louder than he did at himself.
“You are always dressed in a clean, respectable fashion.”
Jughead’s denim jacket and flannel disappeared from his body. Jughead didn’t mind too much. He wasn’t the kind of guy to dress to the nines, but he did think that every young guy should know how to dress. Jughead kept it simple, but he kept it clean.
To highlight this point, a blue turtleneck sweater popped up around his slender frame, leaving him feeling very comfortable.
White briefs wrapped up his nether regions like a Christmas present, and black dress slacks covered the top of them. The pants were freshly ironed, with visible pleats down the front. Jughead always wore clean clothes!
White tube socks rolled up his legs, and over the top of them came a fresh pair of Chuck Taylor All Stars. Jughead sighed with relief as he wriggled his toes around inside the shoes. Nothing made him feel more boss than a pair of Chucks.
On top of his head, Jughead’s beanie had reformed as a paper crown, his trademark accessory. Jughead didn’t know how he had started wearing it or why he still did, but it sure was fun! And it matched his goofy personality well.
“Your appearance is just as well groomed as your clothes.”
Jughead’s long, unkempt hair was pulled to the side and perfectly groomed into a side part, shortening down in the process to a fresh cut. His teeth whitened and his skin cleared up, just as it had for Archie. Jughead now looked like a perfect model for a Normal Rockwell painting.
Jughead loved the way he looked. This was who he was: just one of the guys, always ready to join in on plans, but never looking to stand out. He was a lovable goofball, and he wore his reputation with pride.
Jughead stood in place, enjoying the feel of his new getup, as more commands piled into his head.
“You love to eat.”
Food was one thing he couldn’t get enough of. He often had multiple hamburgers at Pop’s, and always had snacks no matter where he went.
Jughead let out a low burp. His stomach rumbled, then expanded under his sweater, reflecting his new big eater tendencies. Jughead enjoyed his little pot belly. He chuckled thinking about it.
“You love to laugh.”
And as he did, his chuckle turned into a full-bellied laugh, sending waves of joy throughout his body. His laugh began to take on a honking quality as the tip of his nose expanded to a bulbous shape.
“You are slow-witted, but keen and well-mannered.”
The light behind Jughead’s eyes faded. His journalistic wit and hard-hitting problem solving skills were gone. As Jughead’s goofy personality took over, he felt his care for school and work disappear. He didn’t like to try too hard, raised people’s expectations of him too much. And besides, that school stuff was so hard. Why not take life easy?
“You love to joke, dance, and do other fun-loving, innocent teenage activities.”
Jughead smiled as he remembered his Riverdale. A town where all his best pals were, and where he got to enjoy his neighborhood and all the pleasant people within. It made Jughead happy to think of his Riverdale. He never had to try hard there. Eating burgers and drinking shakes were his highest priorities. The most work he did was cracking a joke in response to Archie’s latest goof.
Jughead kept thinking about his town and how swell he felt when he was there, and realized he wanted nothing more than to be back. Back in his 1950’s home.
With perfect timing, the final command came.
“Time to go home, Jughead.”
Jughead spun, and so did the world. Then, half a second later, everything was back to normal. He was at home, in the suburbia of good ol’ Riverdale. The sun was shining high and proud, and for the 782nd day in a row there was not a cloud in the sky. Jughead knew this was where he belonged.
And just his luck. Across the street was none other than his best pal Archie Andrews! Archie was with Veronica, but was grinning ear-to-ear as he saw Jughead, and Jughead felt the same way as he saw his buddy. Jughead ran across the street to join them (after looking both ways first, of course).
“Howdy Jug! Boy, you have no idea how glad I am to see you!” Archie exclaimed.
“Right back at ya, Archie! Gosh, I’ve been looking for you all over!”
The two pals exchanged perfect white smiles, filled to the brim with glee. What could be better than life in Riverdale, with good buds and great manners?
Archie opened his mouth again “Hey Jug, Ronnie and I were about to go to Pop’s. Wanna tag along?”
“Golly, Archie! You know I can’t say no to Pop’s!”
The three friends all laughed in unison. They turned and began to walk down the street. The sun was shining on another perfect Riverdale day, and it was only noon! Who knew what kind of wacky adventures they could get in today?
TWO WEEKS LATER
Hiram sat and enjoyed a celebratory glass of wine. It had taken several nights of hard bargaining with Mayor McCoy to get what he wanted, but after pointing out the town’s high crime rate and lack of development (and also after making a few “charitable donations”), Hiram got what he finally wanted: ownership of Riverdale. He now truly felt on top of the world.
“This morning’s paper, sir.”
Hiram turned his head to watch as Smithers, the Lodge family’s long time assistant, came in to the room. Hiram thanked Smithers as he left a copy of the morning’s Riverdale Registrar on the table. Hiram truly didn’t care about most of the tat in that paper, even though he was technically it’s owner. But he flipped through, looking for one section that he had recently insisted they add.
“Bingo!” Hiram found what he was looking for as he flipped to the comics page. There at the top was a full-color page of comics labeled Archie and Friends. In today’s installment, Archie (clad in the most garish red bow tie Hiram had ever seen) was helping the neighbor’s kid find his model plane, before being tricked and falling into a swimming pool. Hiram found himself laughing. Archie had always been a gullible fool, it was nice to see that reflected in his new persona. And there right next to him was Jughead, laughing along and eating a sandwich.
Hiram enjoyed seeing what his two former nemeses were up to. He now had a copy of the Registrar delivered to his office every day so he could observe their ridiculously corny adventures. His eyes rolled along the page, looking at the various scenarios the boys found themselves in.
His eyes stopped at the end of the page where the strip had introduced a new character, and older gentleman in a waistcoat with slicked back hair.
And his blood froze as he saw Archie call this new character “Mr. Lodge”.
...Coincidence, surely? There was a Veronica in the strip, so maybe this Mr. Lodge was just her alternate universe father. Why on earth would he be in the strip?
Then, Hiram knew exactly why. In order to convince the witches to hand over their secrets, Hiram had promised to grant the witches legal ownership of their coven’s land, as it was within town limits. Hiram had of course told them what they wanted to hear, but in his legal proceedings earlier that day, he had laid out plans to turn the woodland containing the coven into a tourist lodge.
And somehow, they had found out.
Hiram maintained his composure, even as panic rose inside him. He had faced tougher foes before, and he wasn’t about to let a group of hokey witches take him down. He just had to think of what to do.
Only it was becoming terribly hard for Hiram to think, because a new voice was speaking to him:
“You’re a good boy, Hiram.”
#preppy#preppy tf#preppytf#stepfordization#bowtie#sweater vest#riverdale#archie andrews#Jughead#riverdale tf#suitandtie#suittf#suit tf
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Wartober/Kisstober - Day 4
I’ve decided to combine @rubinecorvus Wartober 2021 and @raincoffeeandfandoms Kisstober 2021 prompt challenges for double the fun and double the headache. :3
Day 4 - Navigate + Slow Kisses
WARNING: POETIC AND OVERLY METAPHORED ALLUSIONS TO SEX AHEAD
Dick has always loved maps.
As a boy he’d been obsessed with charting the world, one latitude at a time. He could see the peaks of the Himalayas on every globe. The jungles of Madagascar in every atlas. The sea currents. The depths of the Pacific Ocean in every naval chart.
He’d trailed bony boy hands over the lines of longitude, zigzagging past the equator and up to each pole in turn, imagining the far off lands detailed in perfect topography beneath his fingertips and what adventures they may hold. Wild animals perhaps. Inland seas the color of blue only dreamt of, brimming over with dolphins bearing their backs of gold. Rubies deep in the planet’s crust the size of a fist, too glamorous even for the most queenly neck. Anything beyond the tidy suburban monotony of Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
He’d joined the air force with a head full of boyish fantasies that never quite grew up. A misplaced Peter Pan training to plummet to the ground instead of fly, while fiery flak explodes in every direction. Dick falls from planes and navigation blows away, pulling it with him. A mere leaf in the wind. A tiny insignificant speck in a great big world.
He never lands in the lush tropical jungles of his childhood imagination. He never sets foot on the coastline with water so crystal clear you can see straight to the bottom. He lands in Hell. And there are no fantastic creatures here, no jewels or mountain-whisp clouds to chase. No sunsets over the curve of the horizon.
There’s only death. And fear. And the responsibility of leading men who look to him for guidance out of the smoke and into the daylight. He grips his compass like a lifeline and does his best. It’s almost good enough. They almost all make it to the next day.
Dick gets lost occasionally.
When he’s left to the watches of his chilly billet and the candles in the rest of the camp have long gone out. That’s when the isolation strikes hardest and the ghosts feel free to crowd in. They cast a shade so thick, he chokes, drowning on his own failures, his own insipidity. He wonders if he’ll ever make it out to see the sun again. If he’ll ever find the way back.
And then enters Nix.
With his sly, self assured grin and his dark, sardonic wit. He slips like a wish into Dick’s billet, or the potato cellar of a blown out building, or the back of the jeep when he purposely drives off the marked path. He takes Dick’s hand and cocks that brow that says “Trust me” and by God and all his angels, Dick does. He follows blindly and oh so willingly, grateful for the guide and indebted to Nix for knowing exactly when he’s in danger of venturing too far off course.
Nix strips him of the olive military wool that demands strict obedience. The color that barters not a hair of deviation from a pre-drawn map made by men who don’t know what it’s like to nose dive into the inferno of battle. Nix casts it away, tossing it to the floor and covers Dick’s skin with his own hands, paints him with his own array of colors. A black-brown fan of lashes skirting over his collarbone, the red of his mouth at Dick’s pulse point, coral pink tongue in the shell of his ear, the beach sand tan of his calloused fingers tightening around Dick’s naked bicep. Teeth with brightness to rival the Pacific white caps on his chest and abdomen. Eyes the color of expensive coffee from the tropics glancing up over his belt buckle, warm and rich.
Nix kisses him and he can feel the earth’s rotation slow beneath his feet.
Nix touches him and gravity is solid and real beneath his back once more.
Nix traces the constellation of Dick’s freckles with his lips and Dick can set time by the star’s orbit again.
He lets Nix take him apart and put him back together, piece by tattered piece. Until he’s whole and functional again, at least for a little while. Long enough to get his bearings and restart the cycle of playing tour guide through the landscape of dreary Europe, his band of Lost Boys in tow.
He comes to the siren song of Nix’s praises, his lover urging him on with clever fingers that play Dick's body like a well rehearsed instrument. When he’s caught his breath and regained his sense enough to flip their positions, Dick pins Nix down. Cages him against the cot and splays him wide, the scroll of his skin like fine golden parchment in the dim candlelight.
Nix squirms under the tenacious attention, craving speed and friction. But Dick is on a mission. He’ll recommit every part of him to memory, burying it deep in his psyche like treasure. Until the mental image of Nix bowing under his hand becomes as priceless and coveted as monstrous gemstones he can bask amongst at whim. Sorting them like a king sitting on his spoils. He’ll relearn the lines and transits of Nix’s form until he can recite in perfect detail the landmarks of his moles, the patterns of his body hair, the slope and angle of his wrists. He’ll stake his flag here, laying claim to Nix’s body and heart as conquistadors of old did to things and locations too precious to part with.
He can read his future in the curve of Nix’s hip bones. The universe in the earth tones of his eyes.
“Dick,” Nix whispers, something between a whine and a moan. He scraps desperate fingernails along Dick’s scalp, trying to steer his mouth where he needs it most. “Come on. Come on.”
Dick won’t be bullied off course. He runs the tip of his tongue along the shadow of the Adonis belt Nix used to have when he was in peak fighting shape at the start of the war, lingering at the scar just there above the pelvic crest. He lets his lips trek as fingertips do, memorizing the most scenic routes across and over and around this body he loves so dearly.
He steers southward down from the navel, following the trail of dark hair and Nix groans. He heads north to circumvent a nipple and Nix whimpers. He nibbles and sucks contrails on every inch he can find, until Nix bears the purple marks that label him as Dick’s territory and Dick’s alone.
He wrings curses and prayers and nonsense from Nix’s mouth. Until he arches beneath him and cries his release into the hush of Dick’s palm, breathy laughter squeezing through the spaces in Dick’s fingers.
“Jesus Christ,” Nix gasps, chest heaving with blasphemy and bliss. He tugs at Dick until he slides back up the length of his form, letting out the softest sigh for every slow kiss pressed to each body part on the journey up. “How do you do that? Remember exactly what gets me going? You always know.”
“I’m good at cartography,” Dick says.
“The hell does that mean?”
Dick just shrugs, cranes his neck down to pepper his shoulder with kisses.
Nix pulls a face that suggests Dick might be moderately insane, but then he laughs that ruby-ocean-wilderness-touchstone laugh of his and maneuvers Dick fully down on top of him for a long, lazy, silky sweet kiss. And though they’re both sated and satisfied for now, passing back and forth the same oxygen, filling each other's sails - it does not feel like journey’s end.
It feels like a beginning. Each and every time he’s with Nix and resets his course by the steady, unwavering foundation of his being. It’s always a new start. One he hopes against hope never stops resetting.
Because Nix has always been his True North.
Dick kisses his mouth and feels like he’s come home.
#winnix#my fic#waxing poetic#navigate#slow kisses#dick winters#lewis nixon#band of brothers#fanfic#fanfic prompt#kisstober 2021#wartober 2021
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May I ask for Hypothermia from the Eddie Whump Bingo pretty please 🙏 😢 with a sprinkling of touch starved on top with a Lil pining thrown in maybe 🥺 👥
Prompts are open for the Eddie Whump Bingo //
Water rescues are no one's favorite, least of all Eddie's; he didn't have much in the way of big bodies of water growing up, and the expanse of the ocean is still beyond terrifying. Nearly losing Buck and Christopher in the tsunami certainly hadn't helped.
He can't help the apprehension when they pull up on the caverns and tidepools where an adventurous tourist got too cocky and wound up trapped beneath a fallen stalactite that was rattled loose by inexperienced hands grabbing unstable formations for help.
"We have to be fast," Bobby says on the way, "because the tide is coming in."
Fast is usually key, but even more so now as Eddie wades through the rapidly rising water. When he stepped into the gave, Buck behind him, it was nipping at his ankles. It's now up to his calves, and it's fucking cold.
"In the winter, the average temperature of the Pacific Ocean near LA is fifty-eight degrees," Buck says when Eddie visibly shivers. "Cold enough for hypothermia."
Eddie grunts in acknowledgement. He's more focused on getting to their patient, though he keeps the information stored in the back of his head.
"LAFD, call out!"
"Here!"
He follows the voice a few yards deeper in the cave, revealing the culprit: she looks to be in her early twenties, pale face contrasted with the blood on her hands from the stalactite that's embedded itself in one of her legs. She visibly sags in relief at the sight of them.
"Hey there, I'm Eddie, and this is Buck, we're gonna get you out of here. What's your name?"
"Emma," she sniffles.
Buck kneels in the water next to her and pulls the tourniquet from his pack. "Take a deep breath for me, Emma. I'm gonna put this around your leg, and it's gonna hurt, but it's to stop the bleeding, okay?"
When she nods, Buck starts to tie the tourniquet around her upper thigh. She makes a sound at the pain, but otherwise stays remarkably brave throughout the process of it being tied and Eddie taking her vitals.
"She's stable," he reports, "but the water's rising fast, we need to move."
"Copy that."
The water is most of the way to Eddie's hip now, and Emma is just barely keeping her head above water. Buck and Eddie work together to lift her up so they can transport her back to the beach and get her to the ambulance. It's easy to get turned around, but Buck leads the way and they're approaching the mouth of the cave before they know it. However, at that exact moment, the cave gives an ominous creak and a rumble.
Eddie doesn't think. He just shoves Buck and Emma forward, causing them to nearly fall, but preventing the falling rock from crushing either of them. Eddie isn't so lucky. A chunk of the roof of the cave catches his arm bad, and he curses. Before he can move forward, however, the collapse continues, and the light slowly turns to a handful of pinpricks between the rocks and stalagmites and stalactites now blocking his way. Only the light from his headlamp keeps him from being completely in the dark.
Moments later, his radio crackles on his chest. "What happened?"
"There was a collapse of some kind, Cap," Buck replies. "The patient and I are okay, Eddie- Eddie pushed us out of the way."
"I'm okay," Eddie adds. "Banged up my arm, and I'm cold and wet, but I'm fine."
There's silence for a minute after that. Eddie takes note of the water now lapping at his ribs, and the fact that he's freezing. His work gloves are keeping his hands warm for now, but his uniform isn't doing much to protect him from the chill. He realizes his teeth are chattering.
"Hang tight, Eddie, we're gonna dig you out as quickly and safely as we can."
"Copy that, Cap. Be advised, Tide's still coming in from somewhere, and I'm freezing my ass off."
"How high's the water?"
"Up to my ribs, and rising fast. I've got about three feet above my head if I need to tread water."
Bobby pauses, likely to relay this information to the others. "We're gonna get you out. Stay calm and keep your head above water, Eddie."
"Obviously," he mutters to himself.
By the time the water has reached his shoulders, he's struggling to maintain control of his muscles. The shivering seems much more aggressive than it ever has before. He can't remember ever being this cold in his life. However, he can hear voices on the other side of the rocks, and the scrape of tools and rock. They're going to get to him.
Eddie wonders if it'll be in time.
When the water reaches his lips, he's forced to try and start treading water to keep breathing, but that proves to be a real challenge. He tries to let himself float, but as the gentle current spins in the cul de sac the collapse has made, he realizes it could easily carry him right back out to sea.
The solution he comes up with is grabbing onto a sturdy looking stalactite- if there is such a thing- and clinging for dear life while he waits for rescue. Even through his gloves, his hands feel frozen, to the point it kind of hurts. Eddie grits his teeth through the pain and thinks of all the things he's going to do when he gets out of here.
He'll buy Christopher pizza for dinner, and give him ice cream from the gallon in the freezer. He'll call his sisters and remind them he loves them. He'll tell his team how grateful he is to have them in his life. He'll tell Buck he loves him.
These thoughts keep him from succumbing to the weakening grip he has on the stalactite. Just when he's beginning to lose hope, head tilted back to catch the last precious few inches of air, light rushes in and the water quickly recedes. They've broken through the wall.
"Eddie!"
Gloved hands grab onto him and pry him from his perch. He finds himself cradled against a warm chest, which he immediately turns his face into. It smells like Buck's cologne, and even if it didn't, he'd know the feel of Buck's chest, the sound of his heartbeat, anywhere.
"Eddie, can you hear me?" Hen asks.
He manages to nod, but his teeth are still chattering too badly to speak. A thermometer swipes across his brow and he flinches from the press of the metal, but Buck doesn't let go of him. He must be soaking wet, cold, shaking, but Buck doesn't seem to even think of putting him down.
"95.5," Hen says, and a thermal blanket is wrapped around him. Buck tucks the edges around Eddie's body. "We should get him to a hospital, and try to warm him up. Eddie, are you hurt anywhere?"
"He said on the radio that his arm was hurt," Buck says for him.
Chimney eases Eddie's arm out of the blanket and cuts his uniform up the sleeve, revealing what even he can recognize is likely a broken wrist. Hen confirms this verbally, and they get a splint on him as he's brought into the ambulance.
"You can set him on the gurney," Hen advises.
"No," Buck argues, and Eddie can feel the rumble of his voice against his cheek. "I'm not letting go of him. He's cold, and- and I'm warm, that has to help, right?"
No one bothers to make him, so Eddie lets his eyes fall shut. He's safe- Buck has him.
#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#am I even capable of writing eddie whump without buddie#911 on fox#eddiewhumpbingo#glow.ewb#emwrite
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Only One Choice, Chapter 9
Read it here on AO3 / Tagging @today-in-fic
He meets her in the hallway just outside the autopsy bay. She’s changed from scrubs into jeans and a green t-shirt with cap sleeves and his heart leaps when she enters his line of sight. He stands up a bit straighter, buoyed by her presence. He wants to hug her, but he stuffs his hands in his pockets instead. Off limits, he keeps reminding himself. Unavailable.
“Hi,” she says with a nervous little smile.
“Hey,” he responds with a broad grin. “Shall we?” he says as he tilts his head toward the exit.
It’s a wonderfully mild day and they walk the four blocks to Cafe Adamo, the orange Tooms file tucked neatly under his arm. They are mostly quiet as they walk, enjoying the warm breeze and lack of traffic noise. Scully lifts her hand to hoist her purse strap up on her shoulder and his stomach lurches when the sun catches on a large diamond ring on her finger. The ring finger of her left hand. It shouldn’t matter, unavailable is unavailable, but knowing that she’s getting married takes his already dashed dreams and stomps them into dust.
They sit at the same corner table they had on their previous visit and this time she orders an iced coffee, much to his relief; he’s not sure he can sit still through more foam-licking. He orders a drip, and as soon as their waiter leaves the table he has to say something.
“Looks like congratulations are in order,” he says, gesturing towards her hand with his chin.
She looks down at the table and startles a little, as if she herself hadn’t known the ring was there.
���Oh, yeah, um, thank you,” she replies tersely, avoiding his eye.
“When did that happen?” he inquires, morbidly curious.
“Uh, in late June, the twenty-first.”
His eyebrows lift a little. He’s sure she wasn’t wearing a ring the other times he’s seen her.
“That’s, uh, that’s great. Do you have a date set?” Why the fuck is he asking her about this? Right, because that’s what a friend would do.
“Yes, as of recently, it’s October thirteenth, this year.”
He chuffs a laugh, his head dropping close to the table.
“What?” she asks, her eyebrows knit in confusion.
He lifts his head to look at her with an ironic smile. “That’s my birthday,” he says flatly, and pink immediately rises to her cheeks.
“Oh,” she says as though she’s committed an embarrassing faux pas.
“Here, check this out,” he says, changing the subject and sliding the orange file across the table to her. “Eugene Victor Tooms, a seemingly typical, if not a little strange, man who was in fact a liver-eating mutant. He would eat his victim’s liver to sustain his own life, and then build a nest from newspaper and bile where he would hibernate for thirty years before repeating the pattern.”
“Bile? As in stomach acid?” Scully says with a doubtful tone that matches her expression.
“Yes ma’am, I had the unfortunate experience of coming into close contact with it and I can attest to its authenticity.”
“Mulder, humans don’t hibernate, much less for thirty years.”
“Well, Eugene Victor Tooms was hardly human, Scully. At one-hundred-twenty-one years young, he was on a steady diet of three livers per hibernation break.”
Their coffees are dropped off, but the conversation continues despite the interruption.
“The oldest human who’s ever lived is one-hundred-nineteen years old. On top of that, even if someone were to live to be one-hundred-twenty-one they certainly wouldn’t be healthy or fit enough to murder people and eat their livers, then have enough energy left over to build a bile-nest.” She’s animated, her hands punctuating her statements as her face quirks into an ‘I can't even believe I’m even having this conversation’ expression, and he can’t help but smile.
“Okay, if you don’t agree with my conclusions, Scully, then tell me what you think happened,” he says gently.
She pulls in a deep breath and lets it out in a huff, her shoulders deflating. “I don’t know, Mulder. I’d need access to the biological materials, to analyze them in a lab. We’d need to do a full physical work up on Mr. Tooms, genetic testing.”
Mulder bobs his head. “Well, that will prove difficult seeing as Mr. Tooms met his end under the teeth of an escalator,” he replies, and her eyes go big for a moment.
She shakes her head, closing the folder and sliding it back across the table towards him. “Didn’t it bother you, to work all these cases and never have any real answers?” she asks.
Mulder shrugs. “Yes and no. For me, it isn’t as much about the answers themselves as it is the journey towards the one great truth. Doors are opened along the way, avenues cleared, and it all lends itself towards moving me further along on my quest.”
She’s looking at him with soft, affectionate eyes. She’s really listening and it feels so fucking good. It’s not very often that anyone really listens when he talks. Really hears him.
“What do you consider to be your quest?” she asks gently.
“If I were really to narrow it down, to find my sister. Or to understand what happened to her.” His hand is sitting on top of the closed file and he startles a little when she reaches out and rests her palm against his knuckles. She gives him a sympathetic smile and then pulls it back, sitting up a bit straighter in her seat and busying herself stirring her coffee with a straw.
“Priscilla misses you,” he says, changing the subject again, and her delighted smile makes his heart swell.
“How can you possibly know that?” she replies skeptically, even though it’s clear that she wants it to be true.
“You think I can’t communicate with my cat?” he asks in mock offense, “what kind of roommate would I be if I didn’t learn to speak her language?”
Scully shakes her head, the smile still playing on her lips. “So how’d you end up being the one to keep her, anyway?” she asks, “she’s such a sweet cat, I’m surprised your ex was willing to part with her.”
Mulder takes a sip of his coffee before continuing. “At the time that Valerie, that’s my ex, moved out, she was planning to spend some time bumming around Europe so she really couldn't take Priscilla. I think by the time she got back, she felt too guilty about taking her away so she just let me keep her. Prissy always preferred me anyway, so I think she was satisfied with the custody arrangement.”
“So, you’re still in touch with her, then? Your ex?” She’s not making eye contact, trying to act casual, but he can tell she’s curious to know if they’re still involved. He’s curious to know why she cares.
“Oh, yeah, we’re on good terms, always have been. We don’t spend a ton of time together, but I would still consider her a close friend,” he answers honestly.
Scully frowns a little. “Then why did you break up, if you get along so well?”
Mulder sits back in his chair, considering the question for a moment. “I guess there just wasn’t a spark, you know. We looked great on paper, very compatible technically speaking. She was my best friend, a great partner. There was just something missing, for both of us. I loved her, still love her, but not in that way that makes you go ‘shit, I could spend the rest of my life waking up next to this person.’ And we both wanted that, and thought maybe we could have it with someone else, so we broke up.” He leans forward again, elbows on the table top, and takes in her stoic expression.
After a moment of contemplation, she speaks. “How would you know, if you had ‘the spark’ as you call it? What does that even mean?” There’s a mild defensiveness to her tone and it confuses him.
“I think...I think you just know,” he says, meeting her eye. She swallows and then drops her gaze, picking up her cup and sucking noisily at the last drops of coffee that cling to the ice.
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