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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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he's so important to me
#i guess i need to watch the anime but super's manga has just been a self-indulgent fever dream for me from start to finish#100000/10 absolutely perfect so validating so extremely catered to my tastes and headcanons and analyses and humor#so fucking funny and emotional and intense and goofy and beautifully drawn#my beautiful son getting to finally fucking see his HARD won character growth fucking shine and choose love and choose to be loved!!!!!!#Goku just being Goku Vegeta being Team Dad Piccolo being Team Grandpa Bulma being a fucking superstar keeping everybody organized and fed#god i love this squad i love this series i love these dumbasses and their struggles and their triumphs and their stupid childish bonding#I love that Toriyama just spent the last several years reminding the class that DB as a whole has always been an ACTION-COMEDY about LOVE#and I'm SO sad that the z anime really never did it justice in that sense because of having to fill time with dramatic tension but god. GOD#THE MANGA HAS ALWAYS BEEN SO CLEAR ON THAT THESIS.#Just all about Restorative Justice and Community and CARING even when you wish SO MUCH that you didn't care but yoU DO GODDAMMIT!!!#SUCH a great series I'm so sad it took losing mr t for me to finally read it but my god I needed to read it now and I'm so glad he wrote it#and i'm SO glad he wrote it Exactly Like This#once again rip to a legend i'm caught up and crying it's so perfect it's SO everything I've wanted to see onscreen and embedded in canon#and canon isn't everything but it still feels gREAT to be SO 1:1 on the same page with an author re: how you interpret your blorbo yknow???#been rotating this man in my head for 25 years and Mr Toriyama just mWAH kissed me on the forehead about it#anyway enough tag rambles I'm off again aklsjla#bonus for that kenpachi shit and letting him say 'sorry dude I can't be cold and numb anymore but this is still cathartic as fuck lol' like#mr t i hope you see the HIGHEST tier of heaven for that (and obviously for like everything all of it the whole life you led)#dbtag
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So, I figure that you and Jonathan are still going strong 'cause you guys are going to college together and you're like one of those unstoppable power couples...
#listen#i did not set out to make this but I am obsessed!#I've never noticed how SAD she is here#look how annoyed she is at first by Robin's insinuation/teasing#and then she is SO SAD because she is insecure! She's not sure they're a power couple anymore.#Not because she doesn't love him or want to be with him anymore but because of Jonathan#Jonathan won't talk to her. he's pulling away. He won't answer the phone.#She's frustrated with him but she's also so so SAD. Sad at him.#and god that's important and good for the progression of their arc and is validated by her woods convo with Robin later in episode 6#because alternately we know Jonathan's perspective and his depression hole he's stuck in and that he still loves her too#but is just overwhelmed by *gestures to the conditions of his whole existence*#it's good#summer 2022 me needed to notice this. she needed this.#this is for me and anyone else who is fascinated by this. i'm not even tagging it because it's not really pro shippy stuff
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I assume you got hate for that L&D ask? I'm sorry that was done. Feel better soon. Maybe say less next time.
i appreciate your kind words, thank you. however, while i'm sure you had the best intention with this, i don't think i will 'say less'. this is my blog, my space, and as long as i'm not actually causing harm to anyone or anything along that line, i think i'm allowed to have some degree of freedom regarding saying what i like/dislike and setting my boundaries. i'm sorry, but i'm not an influencer, nor a public figure who has the responsibility to spread positivity and be a role model to you all. i try as much as i can, of course, but that's not the purpose of this blog. i'm just a human being who needed an outlet for writing and wanted to connect with like-minded people.
what part was not 'right'? that i expressed, in my own blog, how i didn't want to try out a game because one of the reasons is i find the graphics of the fictional characters off-putting, when asked? that i likened a fictional game art style to a different franchise and objects you see all the time in adult site ads? that i never said anything about the people who do like the game and told them "i'm happy you found a game you like"? that i never, not even once, went to other people's posts or blog who posted that game's content to ruin their fun like a bastard? that i actively chose to use tumblr's filter instead? that even if the filter didn't work, i chose to scroll and ignore instead of bitching about it?
pray tell, what did i do wrong? why should i say less? since when am i not allowed to dislike things?
and a public psa ー i'm sorry, but bluntly speaking, if you take an affront when I expressed MY own opinion, WHEN PROMPTED, WITHIN MY OWN SPACE (and god forbid you retaliate like that anon(s?) by spamming me to shut the fuck up and kill myself), then that's really not my problem. it's an art direction, for god's sake. i adore zhongli, who gets memed and made fun of as a cockroach all the time; you don't see me screaming at people to stop.
learn that people may not like the things you like. learn to agree to disagree. learn to treat others as fellow human beings with likes and dislikes. learn to separate fiction from reality.
and seriously, if you're annoyed with my rambles or 'babblings' or the interactions with my friends, tumblr has a filter and block function. it's just a simple google away. give some peace to your own mind.
#minors dni#rin answers#rin is having tea with: daydreams-and-wonder#and to clarify. i'm not mad at you daydreams-and-wonder!!#i truly appreciate the well wishes#but i had to get this out of my system because it's just so ridiculous that this is happening imo#cw vent in following tags#then again#excluding my actual friends. out of 8.5k of people following me i wonder if even one percent of you actually think of me as a human being#and not just a blob in your phone who churns out somewhat decent content every now and then#or some sentient hybrid between a journal or twitter you could just go anytime to feed your need for validation and attention one sidedly#or an entertaining monkey you put on a stage to watch just for the fun of it only to 'cancel' the moment i 'slip up'#maybe it's my pms. maybe i'm just stressed rn. or maybe it's long time coming#but i'm not just tired anymore. i'm getting disgusted of this treatment
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would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol
i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki
#snap chats#haha see i told you last post's tags were relevant#anyway vLKVJEVLKAEJVLKJ IM CRYING ANON youre so funny. this is the funniest ask i coulda got thank you so much#i dont know why i like him either <- yes i do#fine lets get Real Talk about it#well first off all i thought he looked hot rolling out the elevator and i was playing the eng dub and i think his voice sounds hot there#and thats like. not athing that happens to me ever <- literally thought sawashiro was hot two frames into the game but anyway#i like politician characters. or characters that are in a position of power ESPECIALLY if they have to act like they dont suck balls#like i very much love the idea of the power of charisma and that type of thing not to mention the 'strategizing' as aoki puts it#that comes with politics. LIKE HE SUCKS DONT GET IT TWISTED HE SUCKS BUT //shrug emoji//#like its why i love the mine rggo stories i like seeing mine's thought process and how he uses his intelligence#smart's sexy to me idk what to tell you but moving on#its fun watching him lose his cool too ESP IN HIS FIGHT LMAO HE STOMPIN HIS FOOT LIKE A TODDLER SHUT UP#i also really love the arakawa family in general and thinking of aoki's relationship with each of them makes my brain explode#especially him and sawashiro that shit is painful to watch and i love it so much#i also thought him going from goth to republican was the funniest shit in the world like i howled at that AND i was distraught#aokis so interesting to me from the notion that he IS loved by his family but he has so much hatred for himself it eats him up#and as a result he cant be happy no matter what he does- how hes constantly seeking validation even if it's nothing meaningful#his lil. Dog-Eat-Dog world world belief to ichi also appealed to my edgy depressed high schooler brain. sorry.#his speech at the lockers also got to me. unfortunately. sorry everyone i empathized too hard it got too real it wasnt funny anymore#like as much as i complain bout the very end the ending is what solidified me liking aoki if not also cause of ichi's impact in those scene#plus... analyzing him and the environment around him is so much fun too....#idk reasons for why i like aoki also boil down to personal reasons. he still sucks tho so i cant be upset when people hate him LOL#i probably have more reasons or could elaborate more i love rambling but i mean. who really wants to read all that 💀💀#maybe for a character that WASNT the worst but. aoki is so LMAO#thank you for loving my art regardless :) im sorry i have to be attached to the worst guys ever
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i know i'm not the first person to say this, but i've been seeing more of it than usual lately so it feels like it bears repeating:
don't put things like "this is so bad" or "i suck at summaries" or "sorry this is terrible" in your fic tags or summaries.
even if you FEEL like what you've written is bad, don't advertise that! even if you think your summary isn't good, don't call that out! you are convincing people that's the truth before they have even been given a chance to make that decision for themselves!
something i learned in a few public speaking courses/workshops i've been in over the years that i find oddly relevant to this topic is: do not apologize. specifically if you're giving a presentation and you say something incorrectly or you skip a data point - don't apologize! when you notice it, just calmly correct yourself or go back and cover the point you missed. you shouldn't say "sorry" if you can avoid it.
why? because people don't NOTICE that you've flubbed a lot of the time UNTIL YOU CALL IT OUT. they don't even think twice about it unless you make a big deal out of it. but when you make a big deal out of it, then it becomes A Thing. then that's something people remember about your presentation.
when you highlight that something is wrong or needs to be apologized for, you're putting that frame around the situation. saying "this is bad" out the gate primes someone to agree with you. saying "this is OOC" tells someone to be looking for the things that are OOC that they may not have really noticed at first.
i know for a lot of people who are new to writing, getting some positive feedback or a little validation on their work is the thing that makes you want to KEEP WRITING. but tags like "this is awful" make a lot of people automatically scroll past your story. you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to get that motivation if you're shoving your readers away before they ever show up! and you're steering away people who may genuinely enjoy your work by convincing them before they've even started reading that it isn't worth their time.
stop fucking doing that, little writerlings.
and if you're REALLY worried about it?? you're REALLY afraid people are going to hate what you wrote and leave flames in the comment box (i am so fucking old)?? make a burner account. post that shit anonymously. you might be surprised by the feedback you actually get.
#i know there's also the whole 'if you don't like your work why would someone else' argument#which is valid in its own way!#but most of the time these tags and comments read like people who are just worried about what people will say about their fic#so they're trying to get ahead of the imagined insults#or they're fishing for someone to swoop in and go nooo it's great!#i think most of us writers have our fair share of joking-not-so-joking self degradation#but there's a difference between “why did i stay up until 3am writing THIS?”#or even “i'm not super happy with this chapter but i can't hold up the story anymore over it”#and “I SUCK THIS IS BAD DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO READ IT”#be gentle with yourselves little writerlings#i know it's my go to writing tag but i mean this:#writing is hard#don't make it harder than it already is by doing this stuff#ao3#fanfiction#fanfic#writeblr#gourmet trash talk
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woke up and opened my phone to find my sister sharing “pride is evil dangerous brainwashing and queer people are evil and dangerous and out to corrupt and steal our children for Satan” content so that’s less than ideal
#she’s been escalating in her public stories trying to get me specifically to engage and messaging me several times in the past couple weeks#so I know not to engage bc she just wants a validating fight and I don’t do that anymore#I’m a healing person and she’s not even beginning to heal#but god it feels really bad in every way. just need to sit with this for several hours and feel my feelings and journal about it probably#in other news my dog is super happy to be alive!!!!!!!#the sun is out! the cat is lounging! I had fresh clean water! 10/10#shh katie#oof tag#personal#family
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Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.
And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.
I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.
But do you know what I found?
I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,
I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.
Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:
I was worth talking to when I was quiet.
I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.
So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.
You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.
(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)
#original#social anxiety#autism#that one post#actually autistic#self-diagnosis is valid - in case that last tag implies otherwise to anyone. i think it just denotes i am an autistic and not just an ally.#social skills#socially awkward#socially anxious#autistic positivity#autism positivity#like actually genuinely who does it hurt if i tell a joke that doesn't land? esp if the joke is not about another person#this is not a live comedy show this is life ya gotta learn to say 'ah well they can't all be golden!'#which btw is a line i use when my own jokes don't land and it usually plays pretty well actually. i've got a higher hit rate but#genuinely they just can't all be good! anyway i go into that in the post linked at the end there i think#people can tell when you're not sure of yourself socially and a lot of folks instinctively use that against you. and i am here to say that#it's fucked up that they are doing that and they need to step off actually. imagine getting to decide on which social cues are#acceptable and then using that power to be unkind. fuckin gross. i regret so deeply each time in my life i have made that choice.#being a kid who is abused like that so often it was eager to power trip when i met kids more awkward than myself. but it was wrong#and i regret it. and i am proud to say i haven't done that in a long time and instead when i find myself with that power i try to say#actually what do YOU want? to the people shyer than me.#i'm pretty rad now is what i'm saying lol#like all the ways that having a good social stat has improved my life just made me realize what bullshit it is that this was necessary#doing what I did is not desirable or possible for everyone. they deserve just as much out of life as i do.#side note: i think I've actually surpassed a lot of neurotypicals who had never even had to think about social rules 🤣.#like I feel no competition with other people who have struggled socially but now that I'm more charming than people who were dicks to me#I do feel like fuck you!! I win!!!! I can finally see enough of the full picture to say that your arbitrary rules were FUCKING ARBITRARY#I'm also aware of the fact that not everyone finds me charismatic but i am. in all the ways that matter to me. and I'm still growing!#note to future jack: you did save these posts in your notes app on the day this was written.#tbh i am often still awkward i am just not sorry anymore if i'm not hurting ppl. 'confident and awkward' really throws 'em for a loop! XD
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okay. yeah. whatever.
#this isn’t about any of you but imma vent in tags#i feel like shit. i feel like im not allowed to criticize anything ts does lest i upset them#even when i have good points and valid reasons to be upset.#and i feel like if i ever completely stop being a swiftie they won’t want to be my friend anymore#which like. we’ve been friends for six years. our friendship didn’t start with taylor. that was just a side thing we l#so it just sucks to be made to feel like less than for something like this. feeling like she won’t like me anymore if i don’t stan tay#and i still think back to our show together and the way neither of them would let me talk about the matty thing#and how she talks about our show as if it means nothing to her and she regrets it#which i know things went sour with * after it but. was i not important? idk.#sorry i’m done venting. hope nobody wasted time reading this
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"He had a racist mod!"
You're so right! That is a valid complaint! As an indigenous man, that would hurt too if i watched his content. Tell me, why didn't I hear about Dream giving George a Trump flag for Christmas from you? Wasn't that one of the largest dt events since it was the first holiday spent as a group? Just curious.
#Quackity doesnt care!!!!#btw the point of this is mfs being like when dream. actively doesnt give a damn#and hasnt learned#listen again#idk shit about this#but yall are so comfortable going after a non white man#that yall cant even see yall are being racist!!!!!#if this was enough to get yall to stop watching quackity thats fine#and valid#but why are yall still making dream content then? why does he get a pass? or just a 'oh thats bad' shrug it off#yall white folk feel so entitled to our mistakes and our friendship#its depressing!!!#revolving thoughts#sorry muts#genuinely this is just#like as a latino mexican#i cant even begin to explain#dream critical#plz tag this if you dont wanna hear anymore about it. its just badshit to me#dream mention#racism tw
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stop the violence
#the constant tlt discourse is so exhausting bc it keeps reminding me I'm sharing space w narrow-minded idiots#its making me not even wanna come on here anymore#how do u argue w somebody who thinks something totally out of left field is a valid interpretation....#who constantly is contradicting themselves....its like talking to a brick wall spray painted BAD FAITH READER#ig these tags r just continuing the violence#i miss when there were only 3 bitches who'd ever read these books
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Sad posting in the tags, you're free to ignore. Just need to get it out of my system and twit circle isn't sufficing.
#I think posting someone else's art they did for me#To the same audience with all the same tags and thematic matter#And having their art get way more interaction than mine is the final straw to make me give up on art#I don't get any joy out of it#I don't find catharsis out of it anymore#I used to do art because it was like spewing my innermost workings on a page and saying to the world 'this is how I feel'#There was something very vulnerable with sharing that with people but#I wanted to make people understand what's in my head#A cry for help if you will#Or more like a cry for understanding#And it feels so hollow when people who get plenty of interaction say 'oh if you're upset by no interaction#Then you're doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc'#And for one it's easy to say when your stuff DOES get plenty of interaction#But for two as a teenager I was viral on deviantart. Thousands of followers and multiple daily deviations#Before I even turned 18#I literally grew up and am conditioned to thrive on external validation and I just don't get that anymore#Ever since I deleted my deviantart in 2014 because my abuser was literally using it to stalk me I haven't been able to hold an audience#I threw it all away and now I can't get it back. Not here not twit not insta not anywhere#So I'm giving up. That's it that's all. Not like anybody gives a shit anyways#It kind of feels like ripping out a piece of your soul#Putting it on display and then having no one care#I'm tired of destroying myself just to be ignored over and over again#I really did peak when I was 17 didn't I
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IW fr just felt like yokoyama's cope for killing Aoki off and then regretting it
im not saying yoko shouldve ryuji'd aoki but im just saying maybe the aoki-lives truthers were onto something if not copium but serving a warning for what was to come
#iw spoilers#spoilers#not really but shut up#snap chats#actually no shut up ill make those tags valid#LIIIIKKKEEEEEE EIJI WAS DONE WELL AS A MASATO-ADJACENT CHARACTER#why make ebina .......... i hate him so much ........... yoko it is not 2009 anymore who is this deviantART-oc-backstory ass mfer#why not even have ichi interact with him more or have him fight ebina ...#if yu really had to fuck it have kiryu and ichi fight ebina together idc just#with ichi's core being about family its so fucking bizarre ichi never gets to properly interact With His Family#IM NOT GETTING INTO THIS RANT FUCK OFF#there's just ... so much that could've been done differently that wouldve worked so much more interestingly .... im angry now ...#im gonna drink this tea ...#cyborg aoki wouldve been so funny but also so unnecessary#he just got shanked like. fuck if i know where brb#no i need to stop because im literally going to sit here and do an autopsy report if i dont force myself to put it to rest#anyways i dont think aoki should be brought back and with this game ending i at least hope they put him to rest now#i was happy with what the ending with eiji provided like FINE that was sweet#im still pissed that kume was just. brushed aside like that like can i at least watch his arrest ........ if i cant kill him myself ......
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Ayo mutuals and followers alike. I know it’s been... *checks calendar* a year since I last posted something Empires-related on ao3, but done come for me. I’ve done it now, alright?
For those who do know, I’m finally continuing The Fine Line Between Hate and Love! Yay! No more angst! <-- This is a lie. For those who don’t, TFL is an ESMP S1 Flower Husbands fic with some healthy enemies to lovers and arranged marriage, plus a few other topes that I thought would be fun.
I hope y’all check it out, because this chapter is one of the best, and there’s only more to come in the next few weeks.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34422109/chapters/85664515
#moon rambles into the void#moon tries writing part who even knows anymore#empires s1#flower husbands#I haven't posted in so long I don't know how to tag this shit#read it pls I need validation
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help somebody in the tags of that post thats haunting my notifs right now started talking about the incredibles and tried to argue against the baby being trans as if i was actually implying he was? well first of all that post was not about the incredibles it was about sonic the hedgehog 👍
#second even if i was talking about the incredibles i dont think that character would fit what i was describing at all?#he just has a ''normal'' sounding name. not the kind of name i was talking about#not trying to attack this person im just so confused#im getting so many tags on that post that are either completely misunderstanding what i meant#and tagging characters that it wouldnt even make sense to tag#or just outright assuming that its about certain characters when its not#it was about sonic the hedgehog and blaze the cat and espio the chameleon. those are the characters i had in mind writing that#nobody else#the only valid people tagging characters are the first like 5 people who said every my little pony character#but the joke has been made so many times that its not funny anymore just annoying
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me writing thousand-word drabbles to randomly send to my moots: :))
me when i remember all the unfinished wips i’ve got: :/
me when i remember that i haven’t written and posted an actual fic in ages: :(
me when said moots respond to the drabbles with the exact level of excitement/hype that i was hoping for: :)))))
me when i do actually post something and it gets minimal to no active engagement (reviews, unique tags, reaction pics, hype, etc.): :(
me when i remember that creating long, drawn out AUs with my moots and sending drabbles back and forth to each other is more fun and emotionally fulfilling because it means someone will actually actively engage with my writing by hyping me up and/or sending me their own thoughts and opinions and ideas instead of just leaving a like and (occasionally) a tagless/commentless reblog before disappearing back into the void: :/
#‘all engagement is good engagement’ sure…#but not all forms of engagement make me feel like a giddy teenage girl who’s crush just talked to her for the first time ever!!!#i appreciate all likes and reblogs and comments… i do…#but it’s hard to have the motivation to write actual fics when i get hardly any active engagement anymore#like getting 26 notes on a post… where 90% of them are likes 8% are reblogs without tags/comments and only 2% are reblogs with tags/comments#… man that shit is discouraging#don’t even get me started on the ‘we need more of this!’ ‘you should make this a full fic!’ comments#like how about we just enjoy the content i’ve posted and maybe like actively engage with it before we start asking for more??? pls???#be honest… am i being too picky/too entitled??? or are my feelings valid??
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