#is so bittersweetly comforting to me

[lilchaoswitch]

The Future Is A Foreign Land is a song that is so so important to me and my nuclear apocalypse paranoia

[b-lossm]

•+*Forevers a long time*+•

Vi (arcane) x reader [angst-> comfort kinda..]

synopsis: Vi visits your new home before her big mission..

SEASON 2 SPOILERS KINDA!!!!

This is hard; fathoming the possibility that this may be the last time she sees you, its hard.

Vi tries her best to put up her brave walls again but when she hears your breath getting caught in your throat she realizes that its pointless "H-Hey this isn't goodbye" she says while haphazardly wiping your tears, trying to wipe her own as well, she knows that she might be lying, but for your sake she cant believe that too.

"B--But--" you start "No, I will come back, not in a box, okay?" she tries to reassure you through her shaky words wrapping her arms around you to bring you down "Vi d--don't even say that don't say that I wasn't trying to bring it up but--" hic "You cant leave, no, not right now, everything was going good before the explosion, you cant" you ramble on about how you two where finally gonna have a good life together, how her impatient self waited so long to get out of Stillwater to have a good life with you and now this? She quickly shuts you up with a soft kiss to bring you down.

"Hey--Hey Y/n breathe, breath Lovebug" she attempts to calm you down by tracing shapes into your side and kissing your cheeks, something that always works "I know, I don't like waiting for anything and we finally got here, but to make sure we keep everything we worked for I have to go, its only gonna be for a week ok and the---" you cut her off "Yeah a week where you might die!" she sighs, your right, your almost always right "Yeah, I know" she starts, pausing her motion for a split second, contemplating her life "Lovebug, you gotta understand that even if I do die, its for the greater cause, plus you know Cait, she doesn't miss, and you know me! I don't miss.. well most of the time" she chuckles while planting kisses all over your face and hairline.

When she finally gets you too stop crying she holds your hand "Tell you what.." she starts "When I come back, I'll get you that pretty promise ring you always wanted hm?" your mouth runs dry "Really Vi..?" you ask while your face flushes red "mhm' really, then I'll be yours forever, well until I really propose" she looks into your eyes, the color soothes her, it always does. You shake your head while smiling sadly "Well m' gonna hold it to you Vi, forever's a long time and I need you for that so you better come back" you say bittersweetly, still coping with the idea that your girlfriend might not come back.

"I want you to pinky promise that you'll come back Violet" 'Oh shit', she thinks you used her real name, She smiles and holds up her pinky “If I don't come back I want you too cut my pinky off for the funeral" she jokes as you interlock your fingers and lock it in with your thumbs "M' serious Vi, I need you here.. a lot of us do" you smile shyly "yeah I know" she says with a cocky smirk

Afterwards you two headed to bed and had hot and sad sesbian lex

———————————————————————————

The day after you where a mess.

You got dressed and got her ready to go "Go get her Vi, I'm sorry that its her that you have to get.." you say sadly, reminiscing on the times you and Vi hung out with powder, the times that you wanted the small girl to cherish. "She's gone Y/n, m' sorry but she is, I think I'll be ok." she takes a deep breath, realizing that in a way she's become something she never wanted to be "I know, just, be careful.." You say while admiring your tall girlfriend in the mirror thinking its weird how she's wearing the enforcer uniform, then you hear Caitlyn's knock at the door.

"I guess this is it then.." she starts but you quickly shut her down "No, we where sad yesterday, today your gonna go be the only cool ass enforcer and your gonna get her. Then your gonna come back to me like you promised" You say, determined to lighten the mood, She quickly pulls you into a deep kiss, its a goodbye kiss you know it is, but it doesn't matter to you anymore.

"Bye--Bye Vi, I'll hold up the fort while your gone"

"Bye Lovebug, I'll see you in a week"

you watch them as they leave, Vi looking back too see if you where still looking as many times as she can to make sure she can remember your face.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/n

Season 2 brings me so much sorrow I made a playlist :(

This was supposed to be like Japanese Denim by Daniel Ceaser but it didnt really come through, I'll def make a fic based off of it more in the future though.

also why is there a Vi fanfic drought????, someone pls send me some, not alot of smut tho because there is so much.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

girl on fire 3

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as cheating, neglect, noncon/dubcon, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: neglected, you find comfort in another home.

Characters: Jonathan Pine, Loki

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself

“Chardonnay, simple but classic. Versatile,” Jonathan declares as he uncorks the bottle, “a fine match for this delectable looking salmon.” 

He’s plated the meal nicely and set the patio table for the dinner. It isn’t the one you planned but better than the one you’d been about to resign yourself too. He pours you a healthy glass and you can’t help but admire his profile. He’s younger and fairer, but does he ever remind you of your husband. It’s like a cruel joke. 

He fills his own glass and sits, his elbow close to yours as he leans it on the arm rest. He reaches for his wine and raises it, awaiting your cheers. You cling the crystal and try not to show how flustered his gaze makes you. You were prepared for your unloving husband but not an intent neighbour. 

“Thanks, this is all very nice,” you smile. How long since you did that? Genuinely. “You really didn’t have to humour me.” 

“Humour you? Not at all. I have to confess, it’s rather lonely. Hattie’s great fun when she’s not in pain but I’m afraid she’s been rather lethargic with all the sedation.” 

“She is? I didn’t think she’d had her surgery yet,” you perk up and take a cautious sip. The chardonnay is oaky and bold. It must be expensive. 

“Not as yet, no, she’s due soon,” he explains as he slices into the flaky salmon, “but I’m afraid she is not handling the pain.” He hums before he tastes the fish. He tastes it very deliberately, “that is perfectly cooked. You must have training, yes?” 

You laugh, not meaning too, but it’s a compliment you don’t expect. 

“Oh no, no, I... I worked at the deli in a grocery store, a long time ago, but I wouldn’t call it culinary school.” 

“Very long ago? You don’t seem that old,” he says, “not that I’m guessing your age. I am aware it’s rather uncourteous to mention it to a woman so I suppose I’ve already said too much.” 

“Thirty-three.” 

“Spry,” he comments with a grin. “I enjoyed thirty-three. And thirty-four. It was all rather merry until forty.” 

“Now I know I have a lot to look forward to,” you kid and take a more generous mouthful, “this wine...” 

“Ah, yes, I’m a bit of an enthusiast. Hattie only had cooking sherry when I moved in. I had to stock up for my stay though I admit I’ve found it rather glum to drink alone. I opened a single bottle of merlot and couldn’t finish.” 

“Mm, I... think I know what you mean,” you admit bittersweetly. 

“Yes, I’ve not seen the husband yet. Elusive? He must be busy.” 

“All the time. Eleven years... well, the flame gets dimmer,” you swirl the chardonnay and watch the golden cyclone, “I’m sure you don’t care. I’m boring. Tell me about you,” you put the glass down and pick up your fork, “when you’re not caring for elderly women, what do you get up to? It must be something exciting. Does your wife miss you?” 

“So many questions, I’m afraid I might disappoint,” he mulls his response as he chews. “I can’t help but repeat myself. Absolutely delicious.” 

“You’re not answering,” you goad. Your heart is fluttering. You can’t help it. He just seems so sophisticated. 

“I manage several hotels for a luxury chain. Though I am looking into slowing down. I’ve invested in the brand so I have a cushion. I tire of all this running around,” he says forlornly, “I didn’t realise it until I arrived here. Hattie, bless her, she’s helped me realise how much I’ve missed out on,” he shifts and sits straighter, “so to your point, no, I’ve not a wife to miss me.” 

You laugh, “I’m sorry. I’m so nosy. It’s just... this place, well, we have gossips but it’s always the same stories.” 

“I’m flattered, truly. I’m truly not very exciting.” 

“Look who you’re talking to,” you scoff. 

“I’d counter and say I find you rather interesting,” he insists, “I wonder how any man could keep away from you.” 

“Oh, you really know what to say,” you giggle. 

“The truth is always the best policy,” he winks, “a woman who cooks like this, she must be something special.” 

Your cheeks burn and bulb and you smile even deeper. There’s an edge to your delight. The nagging voice in the back of your head; he isn’t your husband, though not for your own negligence. You wish he was Loki. You have yearned for your husband to look at you, to speak to you like this.  

It’s fine. It’s nothing. He knows you’re married. It’s only dinner. You’re not going to do anything.  

❤️‍🔥

“I’ve some sorbet in the freezer, would you like some dessert?” Jonathan asks as you empty your glass. The third. Like everything else, he is generous with the bottle. 

“I’d love dessert,” you preen and set the glass down, cupping your chin in your hand as you lean in to marvel at him. You angle your foot to touch his leg, “but I’m not in the mood for sorbet.” 

He tilts his head and his blue eyes flash. He takes a breath and you sense his reluctance. Oh no. Why did you do that? Why did you say that? It’s the wine. 

“Ah,” he reaches to touch your knee, squeezing, “I am entirely flattered but... you are married.” 

“Oh god,” you pull back and cover your face, “please, forget that happened. I’m drunk.” 

“It’s rather fine. It is a rather strong vintage,” he removes his hand, “please do not be embarrassed.” 

“How can I not be?” You whine. 

“Truly, I... I would. I cannot say I invited you in without the whim and yet... you are married.” 

“I know,” you whimper. 

“And I wouldn’t want to put you in such a compromised position.” 

You nod and gulp, hiding still behind your fingers, “I’m so sorry.” 

“Please, I should be. I’ve been... misleading. I must admit I would leap at the chance and yet I find it difficult knowing that it would be only a fleeting deceit.” 

“Ugh, please, I’ll go,” you sit up and grip the edge of the table, about to stand. He catches your arm, and holds you there. 

“Darling, you are one of the most immaculate woman I’ve met. That man, whoever he is, is a fool. I’ve not met him and even I know it,” he trails his hand down your arm and takes yours, raising it to kiss your knuckles, “please, know I do not reject you out of repulsion, only out of consideration. I wouldn’t dare put you in that position.” 

“I...” the touch of his lips makes you tingle. You tear your hand away and get to your feet, “I have to go.” 

“Darling--” 

“No, you’re so sweet,” your voice quavers, “but I can’t... I can’t hear lies from another man. I understand, okay? Please, just forget this all.” 

You clamour around his seat and across the deck. You take the two steps to even ground and wobble to the gate. You leave it open as you barrel through and across the street. You slow as you approach your house, the moonlight high above its peak. You stop short as Loki’s car sits in the driveway. 

What timing he has. 

[ilycove]

Cove’s hands traveled across your body, an almost motherly expression on his face. "I feel like your fever's gotten worse."

You turn over in his tight hold, your eyes clashing with the ocean. "Maybe it's because you keep cuddling me."

Cove doesn’t reply. He doesn’t have to, really. A hand of his stays at your waist while one travels up to your chest. He places it on your heart and feels his heartbeat beat at the same time as yours. It’s gentle, but so prominent.

You place your head over his chest. He notices you’re warm, really warm.  He goes to offer some water, or maybe soup, but you tell him you’re fine. 

At that moment, it’s only you and him who exist. Everybody else in your neighborhood doesn’t matter, it’s only your home that has life in it. His fingers draw circles against your skin, and if your fever wasn’t making it hard enough to keep your eyes open, he was definitely elevating that battle. He notices this, just like every other little thing about you, and you can’t stop him from offering this time. “I really don’t mind making you soup.”

“I do.” You lift your head and try to keep your eyes open to meet his again, and almost immediately drop it.

“Oh.” You watch as his eyes follow to the ground, but the corner of his lips tug into a small smile.

You lazily wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him even closer than your bodies would allow. You match his breathing with his, and suddenly everything sucks a lot less. You stay like that for a moment before deciding you needed his voice again. “Do you think we would’ve found each other in another life?”

He doesn’t miss a beat before replying with; “Of course.”

“...Same. I think that if you were an otter, I’d never let go of you so we never drifted apart,” You paused. You met his eyes again, smiling softly. “If you were a prince in a foreign land, and you were forced to marry someone else, I’d help you run away. I’d send you love letters every night and pray you’d read them.”  You closed your eyes and hum, comfortably. You barely even notice that his eyes lingered on your figure. He takes a deep breath, and you feel his voice.

"...I think that, if you were a star, I'd become an astronaut. And I'd study you for years to come."

You hum, closing your eyes once again and letting yourself sink into his presence. "And what if I exploded? Like a supernova?"

"Then I'd take the little pieces of your stardust and compact you back together."

"And if I slip through your fingers?"

He pressed a kiss in between your eyes. You can feel him smile against your skin. "Then I would know that it's for the better. I'd make sure every scientist and astrologer alike knew your name. And you'd still be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he pauses to take a breath, bittersweetly smiling. “I think I’d always miss you in my bones. Grief and growing wouldn’t be enough to forget about you. About us.”

You don’t reply at first. You’re thinking about what to say when his hands come up to your scalp to play with your hair, his fingernails scratch against your scalp and you can’t keep your eyes open anymore. 

Once Cove notices you on the brink of unconsciousness, he laughs and you can feel it vibrate through your bodies. He kisses the crown of your head. He says something, but you didn’t quite hear his voice. You only heard his heartbeat.

“I’ll love you when our hair turns gray. We’ll live in an old cottage, maybe not too far away from here so our kids could still have an experience like ours. Maybe not. I’m not too sure yet,” his fingers curl around some wisps of hair and pull you further into a sleepy trance. “...We could have a cardboard box full of photos throughout our life. I’m sure your moms have some baby pictures of us together. I think our kids would be envious of us.” He seals off his speech with a chuckle.

You don’t know which hand it was, but one of his hands starts holding one of yours. He presses a kiss to your cheekbone and whispers against your ear. “I love you.”

You knew that already. You squeeze his hand three times. You love him too.

[yingfelis]

Could you please do senti x fem reader snuggles? Preferably a reader that's traumatized and had a rough past but if that makes you uncomfortable you can also do anxious reader, or neither if that's more comfortable for you, honestly I just really want to snuggle with senti (big spoon senti btw)

Can’t get rid of me easily

Senti x Traumatized reader

Sleep was never easy for you to come by. While it did get better once you started dating your girlfriend, Senti, and you two began sleeping together there were still some unpleasant nights.

Each time Senti would just hold you in her arms, sometimes even unconsciously doing so as she was still fast asleep.

It helped ground you, remind you where you were and who you were with. It was a comforting feeling that lulled you into a haze until you fell back asleep.

On a particular night, you woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily as you gripped onto the sheets.

Sitting up to take in your surroundings, you felt tears run down your cheeks. You tried to wipe them away to no avail as they just kept pouring down.

They were silent tears, as silent you could be aside from the slight sniffles. Despite that arms still wrapped around you from behind as Senti rested her head on your shoulder.

“Sniff sorry… I didn’t mean to wake you.” Senti muttered something incoherent back to you as she just gripped onto you tighter.

Once your breathing calmed down she shifted to have you lay back down. She kissed away your tears and the slight tear marks left behind.

You smiled at her bittersweetly as you leaned into her touch. “I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to deal with this so much… if I’m disturbing you too much then—”

Senti cuts you off by lightly flicked your forehead before flopping back into the spot behind you and spooning you. Her arms went back to being wrapped around you as she rested her head on your shoulder.

“Can’t get rid of me that easily”

[a-may-w]

My Thoughts On MHA Ending and Bakudeku

*MHA SPOILERS AHEAD*

This post is mainly gonna be me rambling but I wanted to get it out of my head before it consumes me whole. I cannot believe the ending we got. For multiple reasons. Deku being a teacher, Shigarki never being redeemed, but, most shockingly of all to me, the near complete victory Bakudeku shippers got---let me explain. For YEARS the main argument against Bakudeku was that Uraka/Deku was endgame and that, despite how much people shipped Bakudeku, it would NEVER be real. But then. But then, Hirokoshi didn't make Uraka/Deku cannon. Correct me if I'm wrong (please actually do if I am I kinda speed-read the last chapters in a haze) but Uraka and Deku were never confirmed to be dating. They were never confirmed to have dated. They were never confirmed to even have expressed feelings to each other and they sure as hell were never confirmed to have kissed---looking back on it, I don't know if ANYBODY kissed in the MHA manga, but, thats besides the point---Deku and Uraka were never confirmed to have been romantically involved. Which, just, blew my mind when I read that. Not because I was a super huge Uraka/Deku shipper but because I thought it was destined. Deku is the main male character, Uraka the main female one, and with hints at their relationship from the start that's just how super popular, mainstream stories go. Just like Aang and Katara from ATLA, but NOPE. Even more, he made Toga/Uraka cannon?!?! I'll be honest when I first saw Hirokoshi hinting at them being sexual towards one another I thought it was just fanservice and him being a creepy dude sexualizing lesbians (which I mean...he is doing) but their is WAY too much plot relevance and WAY too much actual romance for it to not be considered a real relationship. Both of them had unrequited feelings for Deku that they bonded over and formed an intense, but ultimately kinda beautiful relationship about. Hell, the last time Uraka and Deku interact in the manga it's just Deku comforting her about Toga dying. And yeah, you can argue their relationship grew with Uraka making that speech at UA and both of them being similar in their ultimate pursuit to save people, but, I feel like Toga/Uraka really throws a wrench in the whole possibility of their relationship. To me Uraka loving Toga felt like she was her moving on from Deku. So, already Bakudeku shippers have gained a major victory with the ambiguity of Uraka/Deku, but now it times to talk about the relationship of Bakudeku itself. Listen. I'm not really Bakudeku shipper. I never really read the manga for ANY ships, I was mainly just interested in the OFA/AFO lore. But. I have fucking eyes. And holy shit do they see a lot. You know the meme where its like "If you've been rivals for more than seven years you're no longer rivals, you're just gay?" Yeah. Yeah. Bakugo's redemption arc, him nearly dying several times to save Deku, him calling Deku "Izuku", him calling himself "Kacchan", Bakugo CONSTANTLY talking about "catching up to" Izuku, thinking about him and Dekus shared love for All Might while he dies, and, most damning of all I think, him crying because Deku lost his quirk and they "Can't be rivals forever/a while anymore" and then laughing with him bittersweetly. Like, holy shit. And then, the epilogue (which, I do have issues with the epilogue but that's besides the point) he mainly funded a, most likely very expensive super-suit, so Deku could be a hero again and they could continue being rivals. Like...????? Jesus christ dude. Like I don't know maybe I have gay glasses glued to my eyes but I don't know how else to read this. But, the argument I'm trying to make isn't that Bakudeku is cannon, or that their soulmates, my argument is that Bakudeku shippers have essentially won. Bakugo and Deku being friends and eternal rivals with neither of them having any canonical female love interests to Bakudeku shippers, who were shipping these two when they really shouldn't have, is victory. The ending of MHA is essentially victory for Bakudeku shippers. And that is WAY closer than I EVER thought Bakudeku shippers would get.

[genderfluid-insomniac]

I’ll always have your back // Six-Eared Macaque x reader

"Oh-ho-ho! Look what we have here!" The shadow demon said and smiled at you upon seeing you turn up at the edge of the woods where he often could be found since it was quiet but spacious. You bittersweetly smiled and nodded, sitting down on a torn-down tree trunk before fiddling with your finger. “Hi, could I ask you for some advice?” He hesitates for a second, trying to thoughtfully read you and then Macaque sighs, folding his arms like you're some kind of child. 

But you can see inside he’s not annoyed but concerned at your sullen mood compared to your normal happy go lucky self. “Yeah...what do you want?” You sighed and took a deep breath, wiping awaying the tears building up in your eyes and pushing out a breath.

“My entire friend group lied to me and stabbed me in the back.” Everything went silent for a minute and you felt your throat tighten but continued on, “So I’m trying to find a new friend while my old ones ignore me and play the victim while saying mean things.” Fisting your hands into the fabric of your pants and tensing your muscles in anger, the tone of your voice growing in irritation and hurt that anyone could pick up.  

“Saying my anxiety and illness “traumatized” them. I don't know what to do. All I feel is anger and hate.” Macaque nods in sympathy and looks you in the eyes. The conflicting emotions in his irises are clear as day if you know where to look. "Sounds rough, kid. That kind of betrayal is hurtful.” Both of you know he has experience when he keeps people close to them. It hasn't ended well, evident by his scarred blind eye and physically healed marks covered up by magic. 

“It's hard to trust people when you get hurt like that." He says, putting a hand on your shoulder and trying to comfort you despite the subject being completely foreign to him. Moving closer to you and wrapping his tail awkwardly around your wrist to try and ground you. "All you can do is find people that deserve your trust. People that respect you. People you know you can count on."

“Thanks Macaque. That means a lot.” A genuine and kind smile appeared on your face, grateful there was someone on your side after your shit week. "No problem, kid! Just focus on those good people in your life. Don't waste your energy on trash." He smiles, giving your shoulder a pat and chuckling. You could tell he meant it and leaned your head against his shoulder, feeling him tense at first then slowly relaxed once he got used to the weight. A little part of your heart fluttered when he wrapped his other hand around your hips and leaned his head against yours. "You just keep on being you, and you'll find your way out of this mess."

“I hope I will. Guess I’ll just have to keep looking up” Macaque shook his head and got up, quickly shifting himself to seem not affected by the physical touch. The sun had set a while ago so it was pretty dark but the lights from the outskirts of town lit up enough to see clearly. "You seem like a pretty bright kid. You'll be alright." He smiles, putting his hands in his pockets. "If you ever need some advice, you know where to find me." He says it in a way that makes it seem like he has better things to do, but he's willing to put that aside for your sake. 

It’s been that way since you got close, the shadow demon keeping up the mask he always wore and you being able to mostly see through it but not bringing it up. He seemed okay most of the time although on occasion you could tell that something was going on inside his head and asking him wasn’t the best course. The last time you tried to get him to open up wasn’t the best, you and Macaque had a yelling match about being open about your feelings with it ending with him shouting, “You can’t trust anyone!”

It was a week of silence until you found him at his dojo and apologized for triggering his trauma, after an hour of talking calmly you both set boundaries and spoke about trust.  You could see the same look on his face now, something plaguing his mind and the carefree facade that nothing was wrong. “Macaque, how are you?”

"Eh, I've been better." He shrugs. "Just trying to do the whole 'mentor' thing." He chuckles, shaking his head. He looks like he's trying to make light of the situation, but you can tell he's upset about something based on his facial expression. He looks away, his face scrunched up slightly. His voice becomes a little distant. "Anyway, you take care of yourself, okay?" He says, smiling. It seems like he might be holding something back despite the conversations you’ve both had time and time again. 

“You wanna talk about or vent? I have a good amount of experience being a mentor or er- teacher so I could offer some advice if you want it?” You didn’t want to push it, if he didn’t want to talk then you’d respect it and do the best you could to be there for him like he had for you just minutes ago. “No pressure though, just want to make sure you're doing alright. It’s not good to keep everything bottled up, talking it out could help..” Moving to the side and patting the space beside you, inviting him to sit.

You notice him hesitate for a moment, but after some thought, he nods. "Yeah, you know what? I think I need to talk about this." He sits on a nearby bench, sighing. There was noticeable tension in his shoulders and you placed your hand over his as a silent confirmation. "It's fine if you don't want to hear about it, but I think I just need to get this off my chest." Part of you panicked that you had said or done something wrong, vigorously shaking your head ‘no’.

“No, it's alright. I'm happy to listen! I won't judge, I get the feeling too.” He takes a deep breath, looking around for a moment before settling his gaze. Most likely to be sure no one else was there beside you besides the two of you. "My... my father or rather the one who raised me was a bad man." He says softly, looking into the distance, at the moon rising with the stars. There's a sad look on his face, but he takes a deep breath and continues. 

"He was cold and demanding. Always demanding, always wanting... more. Nothing was ever enough for him." He's becoming visibly more and more upset. Macaque was trembling, reliving memories from his past and wishing he could go back and do something. Anything. "Everything I did was always wrong to him." His voice becomes harsher, angry. "I wasn't good enough for him."

You continue to listen, letting him vent his emotions and be vulnerable. Tightening the grip on his hand and looking at his face, red mask on his fur framing his angry irritated golden irises and seeing them flash purple. “I'm sorry that happened. Macaque, you're amazing and deserve to be praised. You’ve helped so many people, me, MK, Bai He, and this whole city!”

He's quiet for a moment, letting those words sink in. His six ears fluttering out in the open if only for a split second before going back to two. You can see a shocked and flustered expression take over his face for a second before shifting to one of genuine thankfulness. "I... I was never praised, growing up... I learned to live without it... Thank you." He smiles, looking at you. 

A bittersweet smile forming on his face and looking back at the ground, laughing more cruelly than happily. "Do you have any idea what it's like to work your whole life to please someone, giving up everything you want for them, just to be told 'You could try harder'?" There's a glint of tears in his eyes. A wall of emotion being held back despite pounding away to be let loose after centuries of being suppressed.  

“I do.” Something pulls at your heart, like someone rubbing salt in an open wound, hearing his past and your own being pushed to the forefront of your mind. Tears prick your own eyes and you allow them to fall, wetting my cheeks and dripping into the dirt “All my life I was told I was a mistake and to try harder despite doing my damn hardest to succeed. I know how you feel all too well. It hurts and to hear it come from the person you need to hear it from the most is heartbreaking.” You wipe tears that are falling down my cheeks and trying to quiet the sobs escaping your lips. 

Macaque moves closer to you, giving you a hug. He just holds you tight for a moment, silently offering his shoulder to your grief. After a moment though, he speaks. He sounds broken at first, but his voice grows stronger as he speaks. "No one deserves that." He says, frowning. He puts a hand on your shoulder. "You hear me? No one should ever have to go through that."

You accept the hug and tightly embrace him, the warmth from both of you keeping the cold wind at bay. “You don't deserve it either. It sucks that we both had to go through that awful experience but I'm so grateful to have you in my life.” I pull back from the hug a bit and smile bittersweetly at him, looking over his expression. His face contorts into a kind smile, his eyes brightening a bit as he looks at you. "It's... it's not fair. The people who should be the one to show us love and affection, the people who should be the ones to offer a safe space in this wild world... They end up hurting us the worst." 

He sighs, shaking his head. "But at least we're not alone in it anymore..." “That's true,” You laugh, a bit broken but it’s heartfelt. “and I'm so glad I'm not alone. You're a great friend Macaque, you know that?”

"Aw, come on now..." He's blushing, laughing a little bit as he blushes. "All this to make me blush, huh?" He smiles, putting a hand on your shoulder. "You're a pretty great friend yourself, y'know? I'm not the most... social type, but I could sure as hell use the company more often." He laughs a bit. "I'm glad I have you in my life, Name."

You smiled and laughed along with him, playfully punching his shoulder. ““I'm only speaking the truth and besides you deserve every bit of it. There's no one I'd rather have by my side and I'm not that social either. I much prefer to stay in the quiet and dark places or be alone with my music.” 

He smiles softly, chuckling a bit and nudges you back. Macaque raised his hand and flicked in the direction of an abandoned brick building, shadows of figures of two people interacting with others and then separately facing away from the other. "Well, you and I, we're a pair then, aren't we? Always in the darkness, just a tad more gloomy than most?" He chuckles, shrugging his shoulders. Both people on the wall slip into a building only to see each other and go to speak simultaneously causing the other to laugh before disappearing altogether. "You never had to deal with a sunny disposition, huh?" He tries to tease you, a smile on his face. Clearly referring to Sun Wukong and intrigued to hear your answer. 

“I guess we are, hm.” You chuckle to yourself and look at the full moon giving light to the open clearing at the edge of the wood. “Someone I'm close to is the embodiment of the sun and they're very optimistic and have a bright personality. I'm definitely more of a night person, I tend to get along with moon-personality-like people but I can bare some sunny personalities.” You can recall how you met one of your best friends, one of the only people who stood by your side when shit hit the fan, when you reposted something from your favorite band and got a DM from them making a comment about your steller choice in music. 

The shadow demon raised an eyebrow, you’ve never really opened up much but in your defense he’s never asked many questions. "So someone close to you, huh? Who, exactly is that?" He asks, a mocking, teasing edge to his voice. Half of him wants to ask if they’re closer to you than him but his pride would never allow it. Not to mention your response. “It's someone you don't know, trust me, but they're pretty cool.”You rolled your eyes and attempted to change the subject but of course once Macaque got curious about something he’d never drop it. 

"Aw, come on, why be so secretive about it?" He asks, laughing. His voice is teasing, but there's genuine curiosity behind his words. "They sound like they're pretty damn important to you, that's awesome. I'm glad you have someone in your life like that!"

You laugh in response to his tail brushing against your neck and playfully bat his hands away from tickling you any further. “Fine, fine. I know you're not going to stop pushing it. Wow, you really like drama, don't you? Their name is Phoenix and they're kinda the opposite of me but I like them.”

A sly, mischievous smirk appears on his face. "Yeah? Tell me more about this Pheonix. They sound pretty, well... bright." Macaque chuckles, making a pun about their personality and their name. He sits back proudly, like he just made a great joke.

You struggle to hold back your laughter but fail. Catching the victorious smile on his face when he got you to laugh. “Ha. Ha. Very funny. They fit their name and have my back, always teasing me about this one person I have a crush on.” You trailed off and looked away from him as a blush spread across your cheeks and soft nervous laughter came out.

Macaque leans forward again, smiling. "And who exactly is this crush of yours?" His face breaks out with excitement. "I won't tell a soul... I promise." He promises with a smile and a wink. He gives you playful nudge, a teasing look on his face and knowing you could trust him. "This is your best friend, right? They must really be something special. Not many people can keep you smiling like this." He chuckles, growing closer and flicking the tip of your nose lightly.

Your blush darkens and you sputter, “I don't have a crush on Phoenix but the person I'm crushing on is someone you know but that's all you're getting out of me.” Avoiding eye contact and rolling your eyes at his teasing, trying your best to not give any reactions that would aid to your to your downfall.

His smirk turns to a grin, even wider as his expression seems to say 'I KNOW WHO'. He raises an eyebrow, his voice turning into a mocking, sing-songy tone. “Oh, do I, now?!” He looks at you with a playful look in his eye, mocking you and disappearing into a portal beneath him. “Come on. Give me a hint~…” He's clearly teasing you. His voice is echoing around you and suddenly hangs in front of you from a tree, swaying back and forth. His tone is playful, but his face holds a serious expression. He's clearly really curious to know. 

He gives you more playful nudges, his eyebrow still raised and awaiting an answer. “Alright. Fine, it's someone you know and they're a demon. Very dramatic and has quite a knack for performing.” Shyly looking at the city and smiling, you have a loving but serious look as you recall memories of him. How you first met him and how much of a disaster it was, the chaos of the city being destroyed and running into each other. “He can be very competitive and playful.” 

Macaque’s face lights up, and he gives you an encouraging wink. "Well... he sounds like a really cool guy. I'm sure you two are a perfect match." He chuckles, his voice is filled with excitement now. You still can’t tell if he knows that it's him or he’s just being himself, either way it makes your stomach do flips. "Sounds like you really like him, huh? If you're so excited about it that you're blushing?" He smiles, giving you another small nudge. He's not trying to tease you now, he's just genuinely happy for you, and a bit excited to see who the mysterious man is, at least you think. "Does he know how you feel about him?"

“No but I really love him. I don't know if he feels the same way but he's very observant so I wouldn't be surprised if he knew.” Involuntarily tensing up at the thought of him rejecting you right here and laughing it off. Macaque wouldn’t do that you know, at least not that harshly but it was still a fear of yours. “Should I tell him?” A soft but genuine grin on your face as you looked at him hesitantly and timidly asking for help. 

"Oh, definitely tell him!" He says, excitedly pumping his fist in the air. "You only get so many chances for love." His tone becomes slightly more serious now, his face becoming serious as well. His eyes are looking at you sternly, but his voice remains kind. "You don't want to let this chance slip by, Name. These kinds of chances for real love don't come up very often in life, so when they do, you gotta take 'em. So, don't you think you should go for it?" As someone who had lived for centuries, he often saw many people who were too scared to confess their feelings and succumb to fear without ever telling their beloved.

You laugh at his actions and smile sweetly, internally gathering the courage to say what you wanted to say.  “I guess so. You only live once after all... Well…” The other could clearly see you were nervous but you took a deep breath. Eventually looking at him, a very embarrassed expression evident on your face and nervously smiling.  “I.. I love you Macaque.” You anxiously waited for a reaction but couldn’t help but feel very excited, however all of your efforts are genuine and clearly heartfelt.

He's completely stunned by your confession, his eyes wide in a look of disbelief and surprise. After a moment though, he gathers himself, a wide smile of utter joy coming to his face. He nods feverishly. His eyes are full of tears, and he's speechless with emotion. He pulls you into a tight hug, squeezing you tightly against him. "I..." He sniffles, unable to find any words, just looking at you with an expression that says absolutely everything. It's clear he wants to say something else, but he's too emotional to get the words out.

You're fully shocked that you weren't rejected at first and laughed with a wide smile, jumping into his arms. “I fully didn't expect this but.... I-” You both were speechless and neither could put into words how happy you both were. “Wow. Damn you're pretty. Can- can I kiss you?” You didn’t even realize he had spoken your thoughts aloud until his face turned beet red, and he blushed profusely. However he nods, still smiling brightly. 

"Y- yes! Please do..." He gives you no time to respond, leaning in himself with a soft smile on his face. After a moment though, he pulls away. His eyes are filled with love as he looks at you, his eyes darting between your lips and your eyes. "You're just so... beautiful." His voice is full of wonder and passion as he looks at you, his heart practically overflowing with joy. "You've got me all flustered."

“Me?” You laugh and try to stop blushing so heavily. How is he more flustered than you when his teasing keeps you up at night rethinking everything he’s said? “You're the one who's been flustering the hell out of me since I started talking to you but screw it-” You lean forward and cup his face, kissing him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Breath heavy as you broke apart, “Gods you're beyond gorgeous. You don't know how long I've wanted to do this!”

He giggles, leaning into the kiss. As you kiss him, a warm, bright, almost blinding light surrounds the both of you. It's a beautiful light, like the warm embrace of the sun on a warm summer day. He chuckles. "You're really sweet ya know that?" He looks at you with a small smirk. "I think this marks the start of a beautiful new chapter in both of our lives, huh? How does 'boyfriend and girlfriend' sound to you?" He kisses you once more, a gentle, soft kiss.

The touch of his soft and smooth clothing lulled you into a calm mood. You lean into his neck and hum contently with wisps of silky black fur. “That sounds amazing but I much prefer the term significant other or lover.” Giggling and kissing him sweetly, nuzzling your face into his neck and placing small pecks on his shoulder.  

"Lover sounds great." He smirks, kissing you passionately, his warm breath in your face. He gently holds you close to him, his voice soft and sweet like honey when he talks. "What do you say?" He asks, his voice filled with love and affection. He's genuinely a little emotional, feeling his heart beat wildly in his chest. His eyes glisten with love in the soft light. He pulls back for a short moment, smiling at you. He gently brushes at your hair, taking in every detail of you. "So... official?"

“Yes please!” You do the same, tracing the marking on his face and trailing your fingers along his jaw. Happily cupping his head and weaving your fingers into hair. His face lights up with joy, his expression filled with a kind of excitement that can only be felt when you've found true love. "Oh, I'm so happy..." Macaque kissed you again, unable to hold back his excitement. After a moment though, he pulls back, his face still filled with a soft, bright smile. "So, lover, what do ya say you and I have a little date tonight and celebrate?" His excitement seems infectious, filling the air with a genuine joy and love. You can feel your demon’s genuine emotions and lean your forehead against his. Smiling so brightly and failing to hold in laughter. 

You nod rapidly and stim happily, still in disbelief that person or celestial primate is your boyfriend. “I haven't felt this happy in years! I'd be honored to have a date with my boyfriend! What did you have in mind?” Smirking at him and teasingly leaning closer and closer. His face is filled with pure joy, the smile on his face growing as you seem to mimic his own excitement. Even when you tease you, his soft smile doesn't leave his face. You can feel his happiness like a warm hug. He giggles along with you, his eyes sparkling. He raises an eyebrow, smirking. "What would you like to do?" He asks coyly, leaning in close. "Anything you say lover!" He smirks, playing along. You can practically feel his love for you. That smile is not going anywhere.

“I'm happy to do anything you want to. Although I prefer it to be something not too loud” Quickly, you press a kiss to his cheek and nose. He chuckles, his smile spreading as you kiss his cheek and nose. The soft glow seems to dimly shine around both of you, your love and companionship a beautiful sight. "Well how about this. I cook you a nice dinner, then we stay in for the night?" 

He suggests a small smirk on his face. He seems genuinely happy just at the idea of spending the night with you, a gentle warmth filling his eyes as the smile spreads across his face. "How about it, love?" *He whispers seductively, his tone gentle and kind. “That sounds amazing.” Whispering in the same tone and leaning deeper into his hold, “I wouldn't have it either way, darling. Let's go, this is not how I expected the day to end but I'm beyond ecstatic.” You close your eyes and lay your head against his chest, peacefully enjoying the warmth coming from him.

Macaque chuckles softly, his voice now a whisper. A soft, warm feeling comes over him as he holds you close. He rubs your shoulder delicately, the joy on his face matching the one in his voice. "I can't wait." He whispers, kissing you softly on the forehead. He smiles softly, closing his eyes and holding you close. His voice is soft and tender, the quiet joy he feels inside him radiates around the two of you. His voice matches the warmth of his body and his heart. You can feel the love.

“Then let's go as much as I want to stay in your arms, I'd prefer to be more affectionate in private” He chuckles softly, giving you yet another kiss on the forehead, a soft smile coming to his lips. His eyes flutter open, and he nods earnestly, holding you close to him. "Alright. Let's go, then." He stands up, lifting you up into a bridal carry. He turns and heads back towards his apartment, his face filled with a smile so bright you can see it even in the dark. He hums a soft tune to himself, as he carries you through the night. His step is light, and his demeanor is joyful with almost palpable energy. He seems to be a bit embarrassed and flustered, yet still has a bit of that smugness from earlier that day. He chuckles. His voice is soft and he smiles. His eyes gaze into yours lovingly, you feel warm inside, like the comforting light of a beautiful sunset, and your heart fills with love for him. Your boyfriend. It feels... right.

[draculasfavoritewife]

Meleth Nín (My Love)

Summary: The very future of Middle Earth may hang in the balance, but a quiet night allows thoughts to stray toward questions of a more personal nature.

Pairing: Legolas Thranduilion x elf!Reader/OC

Warnings: Pining, female language used for reader.

I wrote this a couple summers ago during my brief but intense LOTR phase. "Enelya" is the Elvish name I got from a name generator as a kid so I used it here 😁. Apologies for the length, I got massively carried away. This IS supposed to be x reader, I just wrote it before I was comfortable writing in 2nd person.

(Translations of Elvish phrases at the end)

It is my turn for first watch tonight, an assignment that I do not mind even during normal times, and that I am almost bittersweetly grateful for on this night. I have much on my mind that needs settling, and somehow, I do not think that listening to the grating snores of the sons of Gloin and Denethor would give me more peace than the crisp night air. 

The surrounding woods are still, nothing moving about in the underbrush that shouldn’t be, and I allow my guard a chance at rest, turning my attention to the stars instead of the trees. Crouched where I am on a wide branch, I have a perfect window through to the deep ebony expanse of the sky, and a strange blend of homesickness and excitement blazes briefly through my chest. The stars are strange here, arranged differently than they are back in the Greenwood, yet a few familiar individuals still flicker amongst foreign constellations. 

It reminds me of the first time Legolas coaxed me into climbing his favorite tree back home so I could see the stars. I will never forget the wonder I felt as he pulled me through the last layer of obscuring leaves and the sky unfolded before me, rolling on forever. I’d seen the stars many times in Imladris, but they were different there, blessed with a sense of safety and serenity that everything beneath the watchful eyes of Elrond felt. 

With Thranduilion, high in the crown of the wood, balanced on the very threshold of the sky, with nothing anchoring me except his steady hand holding mine, it suddenly seemed I could reach out and touch the Valar themselves. I remember laughing, simply because no other reaction could express what I felt. Thranduilion laughed beside me; it was late, we were the only two still out after a hunt, and I still am not entirely sure why he took me up there. 

Whatever the reason, that instance changed many things for me. It sparked in me something older and fiercer than I knew, some desire for more than what I had there in the Greenwood, much as I loved it. Some yearning which prompted me to accompany my Prince along on this solemn venture, wherever it leads. 

I’ve tried not to admit it, but that night started changing the way I saw him as well. 

Someone approaches, passage no more than a whisper, only slightly less silent than one of my own people, and there is only one it could be. No guard is needed around one I’ve known since we were both children. 

“Estel.” 

“Mae govannen, Enelya.” He leans against my branch, supported on crossed arms. The others call him Strider, or Aragorn, but to me he will always be my Estel, the companion I spent a couple of decades with after my childhood, before my mother’s people sent for me to return to the Greenwood. Elrond looked after the both of us when our mothers died, and besides my Prince and hunting partner, Estel knows me better than any being in all of Arda. 

Silence hangs between us, draped across the strange stars, until he brushes it aside like a curtain of cobwebs. “What troubles you, Gwathel nín?” 

“Who said I was troubled, Gwador nín?” 

“Your face does, for one,” he replies, voice wry. 

“Manen?” 

“Well, you won’t look at me, Mellon nín. That’s usually a telling sign I’m right and you don’t want to admit it.” He gives no sign of letting up with his persistence. 

I sigh and glance down, taking in the familiar grizzled face and sharp gray eyes. “Mar bedithach, Estel?” 

“I’ll leave when you unburden yourself. I’m sure it’s nothing I haven’t already heard from anyone else on this journey. If you miss the Greenwood, or are having a difficult time restraining yourself from stabbing several members of this fine Fellowship, I assure you, you are not weak, nor are you alone.” White teeth flash in a crooked grin, and I can’t help returning it. 

“Those are both excellent guesses, and I admit to you that such thoughts have passed through my mind on multiple occasions. However,” I cast my gaze back up to the heavens, “I highly doubt that anyone else in this…most distinguished company is suffering from the same unrest of the soul that I am.” 

Oh Valar, don’t let my face be heating up…. 

Estel turns so his back rests against my branch, leaving his hands free to light his pipe. He does so and takes a few long draws without responding to my declaration. 

I wrinkle my nose. “You’re inviting an early death with such bad practices, Gwador nín.” 

“So Legolas has informed me several times over, but without such sisterly concern for my health.” He’s laughing at me on the inside, I can tell. “Speaking of, am I terribly far from the mark in assuming your fair Prince is the source of your ‘unrest of the soul’, Mellon nín?” 

He knows me too well. Even decades apart have done nothing to weaken the bond we shared as children, nor have I mastered any technique of hiding my thoughts that can escape his piercing gaze, it seems. 

“You don’t have to answer,” Estel murmurs. “Your silence speaks more clearly than anything you could say.” 

“I didn’t think I would fall in love with him,” I offer. 

A grunt is his disbelieving answer. “You spend every free minute together, and even the time that is required for patrolling, hunting, and so on and so forth. To be bluntly honest, I’m surprised it took you six decades. I owe my brothers some money, it would seem, if they still recall the wager we made upon your departure from Elrond’s house. Perhaps I won’t remind them.” 

I can’t decide whether to be astonished or angry. “You and the twins made a wager on me?” 

“Not on you,” Estel is quick to clarify. “On how long it would take you to develop an attraction towards Thranduilion.” 

“So you all just assumed I would, hmm?” 

“And rightly.” He sounds so insolent, as if all of a sudden he is once again the younger brother, and not the protective elder he made himself out to be as he reached maturity. “It was only a matter of time, Gwathel nín. You held out longer than I bet, of course, but Thranduilion is easy to like and perhaps even easier to love. My correspondence with you has been irregular, I will be the first to admit, but from the time I learned of your partnership on both the battlefield and hunting grounds, I thought you would find him a kindred spirit, and someone to admire.” 

I shake my head as if to protest, but what is there to protest? Estel sees truth. Far from being pampered royalty, Legolas it was who took it upon himself to teach me the ways of his father’s kingdom. He reawakened the Silvan part of my heritage that had long since been denied its native wildness in Imladris, and instilled in me that ferocious love for the Greenwood that keeps the Silvan people rooted there even now, as we have to scrape our very livelihoods out of the Dark Lord’s overhanging shadow. We get along as well as if we have walked side by side for an Age, not the paltry decades I have been in the employ of King Thranduil’s guard. The Prince chooses me for the majority of his hunts and orc raids, and we have reached an understanding so fine that words need not be exchanged for us to always know where the other is in the thick of combat. 

He is nearly as much a part of my identity as the Silvan and Noldor blood that runs mingled through my veins. 

Is it any wonder, then, that I want more? 

“Enelya.” Estel’s voice is soft as he blows smoke into the breeze. “You can talk to me, you know. I’ll die before I betray your trust.” 

“I know.” I sink to a sitting position and let one leg dangle into space, resting an arm across my other knee. “I’m not entirely sure what else to say, aside from what I’ve already said. I love him, Estel.” 

He nods thoughtfully and taps the end of his pipe against his teeth. “Your eyes betray you when we travel. Ever they seek him out, even as you watch the landscape for danger.” 

Estel almost seems about to say something else, but even minutes of waiting do not draw it out of him, so I go back to the protest I would have made. 

“He does not distract me. I am as deadly as ever.” 

“I did not accuse you of distraction. I only observed that you watch him.” His eyes flit upwards, to my face, before darting away into the darkness again. “As he does you.” 

I stare down into my sworn brother’s shadowed countenance, unsure of whether my ears are playing tricks on me. Estel wouldn’t lie about such things. Surely I heard wrong. 

“He does what?” 

A burst of smoke from between his lips could mean either amusement or irritation. With Estel, the two often travel hand in hand. “Thranduilion. His eyes follow where you go when we are on the move. Always his attention is on you, even as he stands watch over us. You mean a great deal to him, Mellon nín.” 

Trying to tamp down the surge of emotion rising inside me, I shrug, letting the wind run its cool, long fingers through my hair. “I should hope I do. We’ve been through much together, and saved each other’s lives many times.” 

Now I know he’s annoyed with me. “I meant more than that. I don’t have much with which to wager at the moment, but if I did, I might wager he feels similarly about you as you do him.” 

I stare down at Estel, but he’s looking away again. “Well. Even if that were the case….” I trail off, pulling my knees back up to my chest. “There are too many problems standing in our way.” 

“Such as…?” 

“By the Valar, you’ve become so nosy in your old age, Little Brother.” Despite my ribbing, I can tell by the set of his jaw that this ridiculous matter has become of utmost importance to him for some reason, and I know Estel too well to believe he would give up before we have talked this through. I sigh, resigning myself to discussing my nonexistent romance with him. 

“For one, he’s thousands of years older than I, Estel. I’m barely over a century old.” 

“Oh no,” he mutters dryly. “How scandalous, an age difference.” 

Realizing that he and Arwen are also thousands of years apart, I drop my forehead to my knees. “Well, maybe that wasn’t the best reason.” 

“No, it wasn’t.” Another long draw of his pipe sends a misty cloud drifting about his face. 

“His father would never approve of his son taking up with a Silvan and not a Sindar.” This is painfully true. Legolas told me of his father’s harsh objections to his interest in Tauriel quite some time ago. 

“Are you in love with Thranduil?” Estel asks in a monotone. 

I glare at him. “No! Mîbo orch, Estel.” 

He ignores my insult. “Then worry less about what Thranduil thinks and more about what Legolas thinks. He’s as loyal as one could ever be to those he chooses, and more than stubborn enough to stand up to his father.” 

There is wisdom in his words. However, the biggest reason that has kept me silent on this subject for so long still remains. 

“You know Elves only love once,” he murmurs, tone fading to gentle. “And they seldom err in their choice of soulmate.” 

“I know.” The words slip from my tongue, condensing in the cool air. “And he once thought he loved another.” 

Estel says nothing to this revelation, merely sending smoke rings floating up into the night sky. I can’t tell if he’s pondering what I’ve said, or if he truly has no rebuttal for it. 

“You never saw the way he looked at her, Estel. He talked about her many times when it was just he and I on a hunt. No one else was ever allowed to see how deeply he was hurt when she fell for the Dwarf. I can’t be sure, but I expect he’s never been the same since.” It feels freeing, to finally relate all of this to my sworn brother. I keep many secrets, probably the reason Legolas felt he could confide his heartbreak in me. Yet long has that particular burden hung heavy on my own heart, and I am relieved to bare it to the man beside me. 

His hand rests comfortingly on my back, once again the protector he thought I needed when we were young. “None of us are ever the same as we once were, Mellon nín. Much as you resemble the elleth I once knew, even you have been changed by your time in the Greenwood. Your people may not change as swiftly nor as dramatically as mine, and yet not even the eternal can live so long in Arda without being shaped. Six decades certainly influence a lot of things.” 

I nod, turning his argument over in my mind. “You say he watches for me?” 

The small smile that crosses Estel’s weather-worn face is this time not sarcastic nor teasing. “Indeed he does. Whenever the two of you are parted for a time, even if it is just that I sent you off to scout ahead, he is as tightly drawn as his own bowstring until you return. Who knows, perhaps even he hasn’t entirely recognized it yet. But something will come of it, Enelya. Of this I am sure.” 

“And if Elladan and Elrohir were along with us, am I to assume you would all place a wager on how soon?” 

He nudges me with his elbow. “There’s that sense of humor I’ve been missing. Now, I suppose I had better leave you, because as unobtrusive as he thinks he is being, someone else is waiting for you. I’ll take next watch. Losto mae, Gwathel nín.” 

“Nostad lín sui orch, Estel,” I snicker, referring both to the stench of his pipe and what I’ve been telling him since childhood. “And le hannon.” 

He waves as he returns to the light of the fire. “Carnen an gwend, Enelya.” 

I stare back at the stars above me, knowing that if who Estel implied is really waiting for me, he will approach at his own time and no amount of cajoling will bend him my way sooner. 

So I wait as well. 

No more than a sigh of the tree itself heralds his arrival beside me on the branch. 

“Do you wish to be alone with your thoughts, Mellon nín?” 

Gazing over my shoulder, I am met by Thranduilion’s piercing blue eyes as he leans against the trunk of my perch. 

“If so, I will gladly leave you to them.” There is the slightest wistful note beneath his tone; for all his politeness, he wishes to speak to me. 

Did he overhear my conversation with Estel? 

Heart starting to flutter like a sparrow’s wings, I shake my head. “Avo ‘osto, Hîr nín. Baren bar lin, as they say.” 

“What have I done to deserve such formal address, Mellon?” he asks lightly. Though he laughs, warm and cheerful, an undercurrent of hurt runs deep through the words. 

Does it hurt him, truly, to call him so? “Goheno nin, Thranduilion,” I murmur, unable to look away from that intense gaze. “My mind was not in the present moment, I fear.” 

“Ú-moe edaved, Enelya.” His reply is warm, and I cannot miss the affection that wreathes around my name as it falls from his lips. “I am only glad to learn I have not offended you.” 

“Rest assured, I would have let you know in no uncertain terms if you had,” I inform him saucily. 

His laughter at my cheek is bright now, all trace of concern gone. “This is true.” Nodding towards my view of the dark sky, he leans closer, bending so he can see what I am seeing. “Looking for old friends among the new?” 

“Indeed.” I stretch out my spine, careful not to knock him away from my shoulder. “I miss some of our constellations that you pointed out to me in the Greenwood.” 

Legolas stands upright again. “Aphado nin.” He reaches upward for a branch and swings to a higher level. 

I rise to my feet and stare up at him between the leaves. “Am man theled?” 

“To see the whole sky, of course. You’ll never gaze upon the greater picture if you do not climb higher, Mellon nín.” He holds out a hand. 

I take it, allowing him to pull me up to his level before continuing the climb. “You said those very words when you made me climb that tree the first time back home.” 

“I didn’t make you.” I can nearly hear the smirk in his voice. “You were given a choice.” 

It is my turn to laugh now. “Not when you say such poetic and inspiring things, Legolas. Although I was terrified of climbing to the crown of that tree, your way of putting it made me feel I should never be complete until I had seen the whole sky. I consider myself bewitched.” 

He shoves my shoulder as he easily passes me up. “No one is whole unless they have seen the entire sky. Estelio nin. It is truth.” 

“I do trust you. That’s why I climbed the tree with you that night, even though I was still frightened of falling. I knew you would catch me.” 

We remain in silence then until we break through the leaves, pushing through as if to the surface from underwater. I cannot count the amount of times I’ve done something similar with Thranduilion, those late nights after a hunt, but it still takes my breath away, to gaze upon the veil of stars and clouds that rolls ever on to the very edges of Arda. The sight makes the songs of my people flow through my veins, never failing to give me the gift of peace. 

I should thank him for introducing me to the sky more often. 

“I hope I never grow tired of this.” It takes me a moment to realize I’ve breathed the words aloud. 

Legolas is gazing out in the opposite direction, handsome face serene. “You will not.” 

I want to impertinently ask him how he would know, but I swallow the teasing words. He has walked these lands for nearly three millennia, and still finds such joy in it that he felt he needed to introduce me to that joy. He would know. 

“Enelya.” 

“Yes, Mellon nín?” I turn to face him. 

He drops down to sit on a branch that is old enough to serve as a seat. “Will you help me?” 

I know what he is asking for. He’s perfectly capable of doing it himself, but it has been a ritual of ours for years, and I enjoy it as much as he does. “Of course.” I make my way to his side and start to unwind his braids. 

“I’ll do the same for you,” he promises, relaxing into my touch. 

I weave my fingers through his silky hair as I release it to the mercies of the breeze, untangling any knots, minuscule as they are, and drawing out fronds of moss and bits of leaf that have found their way into his tresses. I can’t remember when we first started caring for each other’s hair at the end of the day, but it is always one of my favorite times spent with him. The few moments we have no responsibilities and can just talk about nothing, as friends are wont to. 

“What do you think the others would say, if they knew the truth?” I ask teasingly, moving to the tiny braids over his ear. 

His eyes flash to give me a sideways glance. “What do you mean?” 

I smirk. “Do you not hear them speak of you, in wondering whispers? They all ask how Thranduilion manages to stay so neat, how his hair, long and beautiful as it is, remains free of forest debris and untroubled by tangles. They have begun to speculate that it is some gift from Elbereth, that he looks fresh as the day we set off while the rest of them grow ever more unkempt. What would they say, if they knew it is simply because I re-braid your hair every night?” 

Wicked mischief flashes across his countenance for a brief instant. “They would all come running to you for your excellent services, I imagine. Do you want me to tell them, and so dispel the legends? I would prefer to keep your company in such matters to myself, but perhaps I shouldn’t be so selfish. After all,” he leans closer to whisper, “it might be worth it, to see you running your fingers through Aragorn’s oily mane.” 

I can’t stop the choking noise that comes from my throat. “I love that man, but there are some things I will never do for him, Legolas.” 

His quiet laughter floats into the night. “Nor should you have to.” 

Something pricks my fingertip and I yank my hand away from his hair. “Ai! Is this a burr, Thranduilion? Where on Arda did you find that?” 

He shrugs easily. “It could have been anywhere. Yet I assume it came from one of my solitary scouts. Had the halflings followed where I tread, surely they would have all come away full of them.” 

I try not to laugh at the thought of our four smallest companions drowning in burrs. “It is fortunate you only picked up one.” 

Once my Prince’s hair has been seen to, he turns so I can sit before him and begins the same process on mine. Much as I love the feeling of the wind running its fingers through my hair, it cannot compete with the gentle and nimble hands of Legolas. My eyes close as those hands begin their familiar path, and for some time all that I know is the warmth of his body next to mine and the soft melody of the well-loved song he hums next to my ear. 

Is it any wonder, that I have come to care for him as I do? 

“Mellon nín?” he murmurs suddenly. 

“Yes?” 

“What made you decide to accompany me on this quest? You know you could have returned to the Greenwood.” 

“That I do.” I sigh and let my eyes flutter open again. How much do I say? “But if this quest fails, it will not matter if I had returned to the Greenwood, for even Thranduil Elvenking cannot keep the shadows at bay forever if the Dark Lord triumphs.” 

He is silent for some time, and I let him remain so. I learned long ago that Legolas will not share what is on his mind except at a time of his own choosing. 

“I suppose you are right,” he finally concedes. His fingertips brush my ear, and I shiver at the contact. “It was no doubt my own desire to know you would be safer at home that clouded such truth from my mind.” His voice grows somber. “You do know, Enelya, that we may never see the Greenwood again.” 

“Of course, Mellon nín. Yet through all my time in my mother’s land I have been at your side, and the Valar themselves could not keep me from staying beside you. Even unto the Halls of Mandos, I would rather accompany you than be apart from you.” My breath catches on the last word. Have I said too much? 

His hands pause in their combing to rest upon my shoulders. “I am blessed, then, to have found such a companion as you.” 

“Le hannon, Legolas.” 

When next he speaks, there is a layer of hesitation resting over his tone that I rarely hear from him. “Do you know, I was quite angry when you first insisted on traveling with me.” 

“Oh, I remember. How could I not?” I sniff. “You didn’t speak to me the entire first day of our journey.” 

“I am not proud of my conduct,” he admits penitently. “However, I do realize, since that time has passed, that some good came of it.” 

I feel his long fingers trace my jawline, soft as a breath, turning my face slightly and prompting me to shift so I can meet his gaze. 

His eyes are deep and thoughtful, turned mithril silver by the moon as it breaks from behind a cloud. 

“Do you know, Enelya, how that one day without your company felt to me? Even the torture of seeing you walk at the perimeter of our Fellowship, yet kept from approaching you — by my own stubbornness — made my heart feel sundered from my chest. I realized that day that I could not have endured it if you had indeed returned home as I suggested. One day without your laugh, without your smile on me, was enough for a lifetime.” Legolas’s tone is raw with honesty, and a great many things seem to be making sense to me now. 

It would seem Estel may have been correct, after all, though I won’t tell him so. 

I remember how difficult that first day of the trek was, knowing all too well that Legolas was displeased with my choice. I have seen him angry, at his father, usually, and I knew all the signs too well. I can recall then how delighted and relieved I was when I awoke the following morning to the smell of my favorite fish baking over the fire; Legolas and I have had our fair share of tiffs over the long years, and that is his tried-and-true method of asking my forgiveness when he is at fault. 

We ate our morning meal sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, no one else the wiser of our wordless play of apologies and affirmations. 

Well, Estel probably was. But he doesn’t count. 

“What do you wish to say to me, Mellon nín?” I murmur, lifting my own fingers to brush against his cheek. 

He leans into my touch. “I have thought about you much during these uncertain days, even when we are not given much opportunity to talk. About how sorely I would have missed your presence, and grieved at not being able to feel you at my back whenever we face a threat. About how much I have missed times like this, when there is no one but you and I beneath the stars, sitting in the lap of the heavens.” 

“And what would you have done, without me to braid your hair? Become as scruffy as dear Estel?” I tease. 

He curls his lip in mock disgust. “Gerich faer vara, suggesting such a thing to me! I should certainly think not. I admire your Estel, Mellon nín, but I don’t believe the man has bathed once since we set out from Imladris. Yet he has had plenty of chances!” 

I laugh, leaning back against his chest and settling into my new position, comfortable from countless times of sitting like this. “Estel and his questionable hygiene aside, what were you saying?” 

His hands trail down my arms to my hands, where he weaves our fingers together. His hands are finer, more elegant than a mortal man’s, yet they are still wider than mine, surrounding my smaller ones with gentle fondness. This, too, is a much-practiced gesture between us, though there is a different flavor to it tonight. It feels more intimate, as if it means more than our mutual trust and respect this time. 

He smiles; I can hear it in his singsong words, close to my ear. “What I am trying to say, Enelya, is le annon veleth nín.” 

He gives his love to me? 

“Gerich veleth nín,” I answer simply. “It already belonged to you.” 

His lips brush my hair. “I used to wonder, when I was a much younger ellon, why I never felt the need to find a life partner when I came of age. Indeed, Ada certainly bothered me about it for several centuries, until other more pressing issues caught his attention.” 

I’ve never heard Legolas refer to Thranduil as Ada, and certainly not with the echo of a sigh beneath the endearment. It makes my heart ache strangely, to wonder what long-forgotten love once flowed freely between adar and iôn before they let their rift widen so far. 

But this moment is not to be sullied by mourning what has been lost. 

“Do you believe one can wait thousands of years to find their soulmate?” he asks. 

“I do. I know most can’t fathom such a wait, but for our people, it does not matter.” 

“Truly. I think I never pursued anyone with much seriousness because my heart knew it was waiting for yours.” Legolas turns me slightly, so our eyes can meet again. “I would make up for my blindness, Meleth nín, if you wish it.” 

I rest my forehead against his. “I wish it so, Meleth nín.” 

Then his lips are pressing into mine, and this kiss that I have awaited many years is a summer thunderstorm, warm and wild, washing away everything that came before and paving the way for love to bloom. 

Whatever our perilous path holds for us, I suddenly have all certainty that we can weather it. 

Together. 

Mae govannen = Well met

Gwathel/Gwador nín = Sworn sister/brother

Manen = How?

Mellon nín = My friend

Mar bedithach = When are you leaving?

Mîbo orch = Go kiss an orc

Losto mae = Sleep well

Nostad lín sui orch = You smell like an orc

Le hannon = Thank you

Carnen an gwend = For friendship

Avo ‘osto = Don't worry

Hîr nín = My Lord

Baren bar lin = My home is yours

Goheno nin = Forgive me

Ú-moe edaved = No need to forgive

Aphado nin = Follow me

Am man theled = Why?

Estelio nin = Trust me

Gerich faer vara = You have a fiery spirit

Le annon veleth nín = I give my love to you

Gerich veleth nín = You have my love

[blueycarpenter]

happy fucking new year

It's New Years Day but Vada could care less.

fandom: THE FALLOUT (2021) content: random, short fic a/n: again, this is a repost from a previous (now-deleted) account

“Happy New Year, Vadaaa!” 

Amelia’s way-too-enthusiastic voice ripped her older sister from the 4 hour sleep she was working on. 

Vada honestly felt hungover—that’s how tired she was. She’d stayed up ‘til 5 am on FaceTime with Nick, Mia, and Quinton, doing stupid shit and playing games through the celebrations and fireworks. They all took shots of champagne and timed who took the longest to pop a balloon with nothing but their own body. Long story short, she crashed hard and had full intentions of sleeping until 2 in the afternoon, at least.

Yet her door was busted open much earlier than that… like well-before-noon much earlier. That much, she could tell.

She kept her head in her pillow and refused to move, hoping her little sister would take the hint and leave her alone. 

But that wasn’t Amelia’s style. She and their parents had gone to bed closer to 1 am, yet the walls were thin so she heard Vada shouting into her computer from her room. She didn’t get the sleep she intended last night, so it was time for some karma. She trotted up to the bedside and leapt up on the bed to shake her sibling awake. “Vada!”

The other kept her eyes closed as stirred with an annoyed whine. “What…?” 

“Happy New Year!”

She reached back to try and shove her away. “Go away…” she grumbled and pulled her hood over her head to block the sunshine coming through her window.

But Amelia tugged it off. “But it’s the new year!”

“I don’t care, Ameliaaa!” Vada continued to whine. She yanked her comforter up over her head, her voice coming out slightly muffled as she curled in on herself. “Just let me sleep!”

The younger one just giggled though. “It’s 2024!” she expressed once again, “You’ve slept for a year. You went to sleep, feeling like it was 2023 and now you wake up and it’s a year later.” She shifted closer and jumped on top of her, shaking her again just to be as disturbing as she was last night. “Come on!” She pulled on the comforter.

However, her resisting force was greater. “I’m gonna go get Mom,” her older sister threatened. 

“Okay, and? I already told her about you staying up so late with your friends,” came the retaliation, “This is just payback.”

Even though she couldn’t see her, Vada could just picture the smirk on her face and the hand on her hip, like she always did whenever she proved a point. “‘Kay, fine. Touché, now get out,” she ordered.

Luckily, Amelia took the hint, but that came bittersweetly as she slid off the bed to leave. “Okay, but Mom’s not gonna let you sleep much longer. We’re doing family stuff today, remember?”

Fuck. She forgot about that. Vada groaned and slipped her hand out from beneath her shelter to grab her phone off her bedside table. Her eyes squinted when the screen lit up to see just how far-off her plan to sleep until the afternoon was. 

9:08.

Below the time, she had a series of text messages, all reading the same thing Amelia had woken her up with.

‘Happy New Year.’

As much of a celebration as it had been last night, it stayed being a celebration in the memories of last night. This morning, she didn’t want to hear about it at all. She just wanted to sleep. 

She set her phone down with a groan and shut her eyes again.

“Happy fucking new year…”

[aka-indulgence]

Beautiful Distortions

Takes place sometime later in the story. (Moonlight)

A moment where Moon actually comforts you…

——

Moon wasn’t expecting this visit. It was outside the time you usually came to him. And he could feel your light- it was distressed.

His crescent smile falls, eyelights watching you fly down the stairs, glowing with colors that shifted and danced across the walls. If you weren’t so clearly distressed, Sans would keep staring at how beautiful it looked.

“M… Moon!”

You don’t usually run up right to the bars. He crouches to your level, coming close.

“what’s wrong, my light?” Sans asked, “What happened?”

His hands were gripping onto the bars tight. these blasted… he wants to tear them apart and hold you.

“M… mother,” you blubbered, and Sans feels his ancient animosity turning it’s vengeful face in his chest. “She… she’s mad.

”I tried to tell her that maybe the Moon wasn’t so bad, that maybe showing you life could be good… that there could be another way other than just keeping you trapped. Something better. … But she got angry, she said that you weren’t capable of change, that… that she tried already, but you were set in stone like the craters were set on your moon. That all you want to do is- is see everything die… s-she yelled at me, to never speak of your name again,”

Oh his dear Sunlight… “you said my name? does she know you’ve been here?”

“No… and I only said Moon.”

It’s for the better. Not for Sans, but for… you. If your mother knew you’ve been here… Sans doesn’t want to know how wrathful she’d be. He hoped it’d be directed at him, rather than you.

“I just… I wasn’t trying to fight her…”

Sans’ crescent eyelights fell. He knows why your mother wouldn’t want to hear his name.

Sun used to visit him. She clearly harbored amiable feelings for him, but Sans wasn’t having it. The Sun did try to save the moon from the dark… but. All he saw, all he wanted was destruction, ever since life sprouted on earth. He didn’t see anything else. They were irrelevant to him. His former companions condemned him, and he condemned them back. Even as Sun continued to visit him, she got colder and colder. He was happy then, having infected her with his chill, his despair. He wished it didn’t have to end up being directed at you.

“your mother and i… have history. you know this, my light.” For the first time in eons, he doesn’t blame the Sun. “she… she’s very upset with me.”

she was better than the other gods. Sans thought bittersweetly. she tried.

“But… I just want you to be better… I don’t want to see you trapped here, Moon.” Your eyes glistened, bringing memories of distant galaxies and yellow nebulae. “I’ve seen you try. I don’t want you to destroy the earth… but I don’t want you to be trapped here forever either.”

You have more trust in him then he does himself. If he were you, he’d be too afraid to let him go anywhere. He’d do what Sun did. But you… bless your soul. He doesn’t know what you see in him.

Even though… through you, he wants to see the beauty of earth. Of the stars. Of the light.

“Am… am I wrong? Am I just… stupid?” You ask. “Everyone else knows when to do as their told but I just keep…”

“stop.”

Sans shakes his head. “no. never.” His arms reach from behind the bars, drawing you in, letting your head rest on the little amount of shoulder that he can press to the bars. “sweet light, star light. there’s nothing wrong in hoping for.. better times. i’ve always been too afraid to hope, but you’re brave, my star. you always were. … thank you, for believing in me.”

Oh… those tears, like golden lava, glittering in your light, falling down your face. How did the Moon manage to catch these brilliant rays of light? He wipes them from your face. He holds you for as long as you need, your shoulders bouncing.

“Th… thank you… Sans…”

“no. thank you, my light.”

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[TWENTY ONE]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

“Thanks for having us over, Y/n.” Nichole gushes, packing her bag up and heading over to the door.

“Of course, anytime, and I’ll see you later tonight with some of my own things.” You answered.

“See you later! I’ll make some calls for locksmiths in the meantime for you too.”

“Thanks Nicky! I really do appreciate it.”

"Girl, you know I got you, besides we haven't been together in so long, Kyle's been snoggin' all your attention lately and I'm startin to feel jealoussss." She teased.

You roll your eyes and lightly push Nichole's shoulder, "You know it ain't gonna be like that."

Nichole puts her hands up, "Hey! I'm just sayin' Kyle's a good guy.. you guys do work.."

You hum, "It's too soon, I just.. Kenny and I just ended you know and it would be awful to take advantage of Kyle's feelings like that."

Nichole freezes, she looks around and lowers her voice, "You..know?"

You nod and lower your voice too, "I overheard... Kenny and Kyle's fight I.. I overheard specifically Kenny saying that Kyle likes me and just.. Kyle doesn't know I know."

Nichole gasps and covers her mouth in shock, "Girl... oh my god. Girl to girl, right now what are your thoughts on him."

You smile bittersweetly, "I love Kyle I do.. I don't.. I don't know if it's like that though you know? Time could tell but.. no I.." You sigh, "Everything is too soon."

Nichole nods, "Smart, you've always been smart with your feelings, Y/n. He's waited this long for you though.. I'm sure he'd wait longer."

Nichole straightens herself up and heads out the door, "Well... I'll see you later!"

You offer a wave in return and sit to think about Kyle. You cared deeply for him, he's been a good friend to you for years, a good bandmate, a good man. You know his actions to you came from the heart and that he isn't trying to be superficial and selfish by helping you out. You didn't doubt that if Kenny hadn't asked you out those years ago, you'd have probably been with Kyle at this point in time. You didn't doubt that Kyle wasn't a good man, you just didn't know if.. you exactly wanted a relationship right now.

Relationships were draining, at least your last one was, mainly towards the end. Kenny was also a good boyfriend but he could be rather.. greedy with things. He often would take and rarely gave. He'd often ghost you at times but then make up for it with the affection bombing afterwards. It wasn't rare for Kenny to go mia for a few days, return like nothing happened, and devote all his time to you before doing it all over.

You sighed, boys suck and your heart was torn, on one hand it was comforting that Kyle still liked you, you wouldn't be lying if you said that somewhere in your heart you naturally held a soft spot for him, but you knew it was too soon to jump into anything. The press would have a hay day and you knew how the media reacted to whenever a female artist got into a new relationship. That wasn't the only problem though.. you didn't want to think Kyle to think he was being used either.

God you wished life was easier.

"Y/NNNNNNN" Clyde whines out, running over to you and enveloping you into a hug.

"Oh- Clyde! Hey You're up!"

"We're all awake, anyhow I hate to goooo, can't I stay?"

Chuckling you remove yourself from Clyde's embrace, "As much as I love you Clyde you gotta get back to your own apartment, I'm sure Tolkien would like to see his roommate for once."

Clyde rubs the back of his head sheepishly, "Yeah.. I think Tolkien is sick of me though, especially after I gave him his gifts from New York."

You purse your lips, "I told you that those New York shirts were tacky and he wouldn't like them."

"That's exactly why he should like them- they're tacky!"

"Yeah well isn't Bebe sick of you being at her place this entire time?"

"Oh... yeah.. hey Y/n..."

"No you can't stay here, go back to your OWN place Donovan."

"Yes mom."

You scoff, "HEY!"

Clyde chuckles and starts heading out the door, "See you Y/n!! Love youuuuuuuuuuuu."

You snort, "Bye Clyde, love you too."

You turn around and come face to face with Stan next, "Stan! Next to go?"

Stan nods, "Yeah, hey I just wanted to check in again, how are you?"

You offer him a smile, "Thanks, I'm doing good Stan, thanks for constantly checkin up on me, you're a good guy."

Stan's face becomes tinged with a blush, "Oh dude, thanks Y/n, Wendy says all the time that friends are one of the most important things in life and we're friends! And my friends' health is important to me."

"You're too sweet Stan. Tell Wendy I said hi."

"I will! You better text her though yourself."

"I'll text her in a bit, see you later Stan."

"See ya!" Stan heads out the door.. which left Kyle.

You pad into your living room, glancing at Kyle who's clearing up where he slept and packing away his things, "Late to waking up?"

Kyle groans, "Yeah well Stan likes to move when he's sleeping."

You move to sit on the adjacent couch, "Oooo, ouch."

"Mhmm."

Kyle finishes the rest of his packing, "Thanks for having us over, Y/n."

"Anytime! You guys are always welcome. You think we'd do these more."

Kyle tilts his head in thought, "We do spend months together when we tour, so.."

"Right.. right I can only stand you for so long after all." You tease.

Kyle snorts, "Yeah I know I'm a lot to handle."

You both walk over to your front door, "You'd let me know if.. if you needed anything right Y/n? You know that I care about you right and if something was up, or if you're not actually doing okay or if something was wrong or if-"

You hold a hand up to stop Kyle's rambling, "Yes, Kyle. To all, I know that you care for me. I know that you're all there for me, especially during this. And I would obviously let you know if something happened."

Kyle breathes a sigh of relief, "You're.. important to me- to us. You know?"

You put a hand on Kyle's shoulder, "I know, I appreciate it. I appreciate you. You've done a lot for me recently and I don't know how I could ever repay you. You take care of yourself too, yeah? You've been focusing so much on other people that you gotta remember about yourself."

Kyle blushes in embarrassment, "Yeah.. yeah you're right. I'll see you later, Y/n."

He heads out the door and you wave as he leaves. Once the door closes you exhale, maybe you need to revisit how you're feeling.

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @ryenwritess @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir @okarigold

[shi-daisy]

hi hi it me for the CHARACTER BREAKDOWN game thing!! obvs I gotta ask u about Tamlin!!!!

Hiiiii sweetie! Okay so we're going with my best boy!

How I feel about him?

He's precious, I loved how silly and awkward he was on book 1. I think he's really handsome despite my type being brunettes rather than blondes, he is strong in a fight but I love his quiet scenes and how much he cares for his court even if this is a duty he never wanted. Tamlin owns my heart and was a comfort for me during a dark time in my past. I love him very very much!

All the people I romantically ship this character with

Man has darn harem.

First in line obviously Lucien because these two as friends to lovers would heal me and they're absolutely adorable (sjm don't ruin them) Feyre before book 3. I loved their relationship and held out hope he'd win her back, alas after book 3 even if they go back to being friends I can't see them getting back together. Still love book 1 Feylin and Feylincien tho

Briar, I'm a basic bitch and while he haven't seen Briar again and she's human, I think she's sweet and would love to see them get together as long as it does not end in tragedy or bittersweetly.

Cresseida, Also kinda crack but I could see them starting as a political marriage and the slowly fall for one another and bond over Night screwing them over. They'd be cute

Hybern. I cannot get the appeal of Tamsand because this ship is a 1000 times more compelling to me. A decent into evil by Tamlin when everyone leaves him behind as he's hurt? Bloody revenge? Spring not being destroyed but turned dark and used to destroy Tamlins enemies? Homoerotic tension? That scene where Hybern binded Tamlin with magic? Cmooooooon, I need evil Tamlin or redeemed Hybern fics with them for sustenance they're so interesting to me.

Non romantic OTP for this character

Jurian, they'd be a cool ship but given Jurian's sass and him helping Tamlin as a double agent and being buddies with Lucien too. I'd love to see them hanging out more.

Andras, these two were beasties and I headcanon Andras went out saq Feyre and meticulously planned for her to break the curse because he knew Tamlin would like her.

Unpopular Opinion

He does not need to apologize to the IC. He helped them in the war and brought Rhysand back despite all he'd done to him. Man should be left alone and book 3 actually did before SJM chose to kick him while he's down. If he apologizes let it be to Lucien and Feyre if she loses the bad attitude. Otherwise I want him to heal away from Night.

Something I wish would happen

That he gets an uncontested adorable happy ending because he deserves the world.

[steddiebang]

someday love will find you | Rating T | 20k

Author: sincere_lies Artist: @schitthappens

“We are gonna fix this, Steve,” Eddie promises.

“Fix what? Me? The unlovable child of two loveless people.”

“That’s bullshit.” Eddie spats out, and it startles Steve enough that he turns to look back at Eddie. “Not about your parents, I’m pretty sure they must be the biggest assholes on the planet, but Steve - you have to know - how can you not know?”

“Know what” Steve asks, confused. 

It makes Eddie smile bittersweetly back at him. “How much every living being in this house loves you.” Eddie makes sure to look Steve straight in the eyes as he says it, makes sure Steve knows he really means it. “If love was the answer, you would have been out of here a long time ago - this place is filled with it.”

And Eddie truly believes it, he does.

As far as anyone can remember, the woods on the west part of Hawkins are off limits. Too many stories of kids disappearing; even if when asked no one could remember exactly who those kids were.Then one day Chrissy Cunningham, Carver is all too quick to try and blame Eddie for it. So into the woods Eddie goes and finds not only Chrissy there.He finds the old forgotten Harrington house. And a secret.

Fic l Art

Pairings: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson Characters: Steve Harrington, Eddie Munson, Chrissy Cunningham, Robin Buckley, The Party (Stranger Things), Jim “Chief” Hopper, Wayne Munson, Jason Carver Tags: Beauty and the Beast Elements, Magic/Supernatural Elements, Steve Harrington Has Bad Parents, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, past Tommy Hagan & Steve Harrington & Carol Perkins Friendship, Pre-Robin Buckley/Chrissy Cunningham

[qetalos]

WHAT'S YOUR ETA? | Sunoo & Jungwon

p: non idol!Sunoo x non idol!Jungwon x gn!reader

synopsis: you've broken up with your ex and your two best friends are there for you to help you go through it. One day, they make you choose one of them to stay with you, because they won't share you between themselves. Who are you staying with?

note: ahh third post of the nwjns series :'') you'll find this event here

long post!!

아주 눈부시게, honestly, 우리 사이에 He's been totally lying, yeah

Ever since I broke up with my ex, Sunoo and Jungwon have been attached with me to the hip. They're my best friends and because of that they've been with me through all my break up with my actual ex.

Although they're always with me, helping me and comforting me, they don't get along very well between each other. The reason why? I wish I knew because none of them has ever told me why they can't be alone together not even for five minutes.

I don't really mind about that at the moment, because I just care if they are with me. They told me to not worry about their grudges and that's what I try to do, even if the curiosity eats me up sometimes when I see Sunoo side eyeing Jungwon or when Jungwon scoffs at Sunoo's words.

Today we decided to meet at a café and spend some time together, I sat while waiting for them. The first one to arrive was Sunoo. He instantly smiled at me the first second he arrived, and sat down next to me as we started talking.

"How's it going? Do you feel better after what happened with... Them?" Sunoo asked, referring to my ex. I sighed softly "Yeah, I'm good. I haven't thought about them as I've been spending a lot of time outside haha" I said and Sunoo chuckled, nodding. "He didn't deserve you. I knew he was lying whenever he said he was busy, even on your birthday!" Sunoo said and I chuckled bittersweetly while nodding "Yeah.. he never covered up his lies well". We talked for about five more minutes before Jungwon arrived, he greeted me and vowed slightly to Sunoo as he sat down in front of us.

"How's it going ___?" He asked and I smiled "All good" "Have you ordered yet? Sorry the bus was late" he apologized and I nodded softly, understanding his situation "No we haven't ordered yet, and don't worry about that" "Let's order, then." Jungwon said and I nodded, the waiter came and took our orders.

내 말 믿어, you deserve better than that 내가 도와줄게, 걔는 그냥 playing

Sunoo and Jungwon always made sure of reassuring me about how good and nice I was and how my ex didn't deserve me. They were always there reaching out for me and comforting me if I suddenly had a breakdown and didn't feel well.

Last Tuesday we decided to meet and to go walk around the park for a while, I agreed and we set our hang out there.

When I arrived I saw Jungwon and Sunoo already at the park, each one of them on their phone as they wouldn't talk to one another when I wasn't there. I walked to them and they both looked up, they smiled and Jungwon greeted me.

"Hey ___, let's go?" He said and I nodded I smiled at Sunoo and we started walking around. We talked for a while as we moved around the park, stopping to take some pictures of the view in front of us. After walking around for quite a while, they told me we should sit down and I said yes as I was already tired of walking. The three of us sat down on a bench in front of some swings.

Sunoo moved to look at me, he gazed to the floor before looking up again "You know, ___" He started "That our relationship, with me and Jungwon, isn't the best. And lately, after your break up, we've been hanging out a lot the three of us together.." he said while looking at me, I nodded in signal of telling him to continue "And so, we thought about you should choose one of us. Because it'd be better for you, and us, if you only stayed with either me or Jungwon" he finished and I nodded, I looked away. What were they asking for? Choosing between my two best friends? I didn't get the reason why but it surely was because of their own inside "argument", so I decided to stay silent and nod. "Okay.." I said softly "You don't have to choose just now" Jungwon said "If you want, we can give you one month to decide. You can spend two weeks with me and then the other two with Sunoo. So when the months ends, you can have your answer" he said and I nodded, maybe that could help me decide... "Okay, let's do that" I said and they nodded, this was strange but I guess I'll have to do it even if I'm not sure if I'll be able to choose.

We can go wherever you like, now where are you?

I spent the first two weeks with Sunoo, we went out to some places and just had a lot of fun together laughing and talking, maybe gossiping too.

He always managed to make me laugh and have a good time around him, remarking the way he'd treat me like this if I chose him instead of Jungwon.

"Hey! Come back! I still have to put your facemask on!" He shouted as I ran away from him and around the house, his house. He invited me over to his house to have a sleepover and watch some movies, maybe eat something and play some board games. Right now I left him inside his bathroom as we were doing some skincare routine session, and he wanted me to use one of his facemasks. I didn't want to as I wanted to go and continue watching the movie we were watching before going to the bathroom, but I had to agree to do our skincare.

I laughed as I ran around his house, trying not to trip over anything that could be laying on the floor. I jumped over the couch and he stood in front of me, holding the little packet which had the facemask inside it. Sunoo looked really funny from my point of view, facemask on and a hairband on too. I couldn't stop laughing while I tried to dodge him so I could go away and continue running.

In the end, Sunoo ended up catching me and putting on the facemask. I had to give up but we could still continue the movie. We ate snacks and pulled an all nighter, because none of us could sleep. It was a nice night and we had a lot of fun. The next morning I woke up and decided to wake up Sunoo too, because it was 13:44 p.m. I had lunch at his place too and went back to my apartment, he bid me goodbye from his door and I walked back home by myself while enjoying some time alone. It wasn't that Sunoo's presence wasn't good but, it was strange how I'll had to chose between him and my other best friend... Wasn't it weird?

Today was Sunday and that was my last day with Sunoo before I spent two weeks with Jungwon, and after decide who I'll stay with. With Sunoo today, we just went for something simple and set a meeting at a café nearby my place.

I met him there and we spent the afternoon there, after eating something and chatting for a while Sunoo told me he wanted to walk around the park before I could go home. While we were at the park we bumped into some swings and decided to go to them and just stay for a while, it was night already so it wouldn't hurt anyone if some people used the swings for a while, right?

"___?" He called me "Yes?" "I'd like to tell you this before you go back home and your week with Jungwon starts" he said and got up from the swing, walking over to me. He stood up after me and held eye contact "If Jungwon dumps you or if you don't feel good with him during your two weeks together, my phone's always on to receive any calls from you" he said and I blushed slightly at his words. Sunoo smiled softly at me and pulled me up from the swing before walking with me out from the playground "Where are we going?" I asked, confused on how he had pulled me up and started walking without talking "To your house, it's getting late don't you think?" He asked while looking at me as we walked through the streets "Oh yeah it is quite late already" I said after looking at the time in my watch. 20:47 p.m was on full display on it, it was late indeed.

We reached my apartment and Sunoo stood up in front of me smiling "See you in two weeks ___" he said and I nodded "See you, Sun" I said and smiled; I separated to walk to my apartment's entrance but Sunoo stopped me before kissing me on my cheek, whispering "I hope you choose well" and pushed me slightly inside as he walked away, not turning around. I stood dumbfounded at his actions, I tried to wake up myself and entered my apartment still deep in thought thanks to Sunoo's actions.

We can go wherever you like, baby say the words and I'm down

On my first week with Jungwon everything went well. As I did with Sunoo, we went out and spent a lot of time laughing and having fun. We even went to the cinema and he took me out to have dinner at different places. Jungwon also told me that this would be the same if I chose him before Sunoo and that he'd treat me better than he could ever do. And that made me think again, why were they doing this?

"Look this one is cute!" "No! The bunny one looks better!" We decided to go to an amusement park that day. Jungwon told me he'd win one of the big plushies on display for me, in one of the games at the park and he told me to choose one plushie to keep. "Okay, I'll get the bunny one for you then.." he sighed and I laughed. Jungwon played and finally won the plushie for me, he handed it to me and I smiled thanking him.

"Where do you wanna go now? Tell me and we'll go" he said and I looked around, smiling before pointing the ferris wheel "let's go to the ferris wheel" I said and he nodded, his dimples on display thanks to his smile. We walked over to get in line before getting to the ferris wheel. After a while we got in and soon after it started.

"Woah it looks really nice from here" I said while looking over all the amusement park from our seat. It suddenly stopped and we could admire the view we had for us, the neon lights from the park shining and reflecting everywhere. "Are you having fun?" Jungwon asked me, looking over to me as we sat next to each other "A lot, and you?" I said smiling softly "I am having fun too" he said and his dimples popped out again and I chuckled to that "What? Why are you laughing?" He asked as I suddenly let out a laugh "Nothing, I just find cute the way your dimples pop out" I said and reached my finger to touch one of them, chuckling after doing so. Jungwon laughed too at my silly actions, we were really having fun.

Later that evening we went back home, we laughed and talked about anything until we reached the bus stop. We had to take different buses but we waited for them at the same place.

"What time is it already?" I asked Jungwon, he took out his phone and showed it to me "it's 19:39 p.m already... Quite late haha" he said and I nodded "I hope that our buses don't take much to come" I said and he nodded. After a while his bus stopped in front of us but I didn't see Jungwon getting up to take it, I looked at him confused and he looked at me too "What?" "Isn't that your bus?" "Yeah, why?" "Aren't you going to take it?" "No, i'll wait until yours comes and then I'll take mine" he said and I stayed silent for a second, his reason had taken me off guard. "Okay" I said looking away, I don't even know why I blushed at his words. He was just going to wait for mine before he could take his bus and that made me feel flustered? Oh god.

"Where do you wanna go next?" Jungwon asked me, looking to the road in front of us "mhm... Maybe to the arcade?" I suggested and he nodded "When would you like to go? Tomorrow evening maybe?" "Yeah that sounds good to me" I said and he sent a smile to my, sending one back too.

My bus came visible from afar and that meant I'll have to go. I got up and Jungwon did too, soon the bus was in front of us and I had to get in.

"See you tomorrow, ___" he said and I nodded, he hugged me and ruffled my hair slightly "See you, Won" I said and got inside the bus, waving at him after sitting down. When my bus wasn't visible anymore, Jungwon sat down again. He scoffed to himself.

"You won't win this, Kim Sunoo"

"Do you wanna grab something to eat?" Jungwon asked me. Today was our last day together before I had to choose between him or Sunoo, to be honest I was nervous about that day. We were walking down the streets as we had decided to go to the mall before going back home "maybe we can buy something at the mall?" "Good for me, then" he said and we continued walking. To be completely honest, this week with Jungwon was really nice. We had a lot of fun and spent a lot of time outside to different places. But, I can't compare him to Sunoo, and I can't compare Sunoo to Jungwon. They're both so special to me that I can't compare them, how am I going to be able to choose between them?

We entered the mall and looked around for a while, stopping to check out some of the things they had on display in every shop. Eventually, I got a bit hungry so I told Jungwon, so that we could go to one of the food spaces and buy something to eat for lunch. "Won?" "Mhm?" "I'm hungry already.." I said and chuckled softly after "Oh okay, where do you wanna go from here?" He asked me and I looked around before making my choice "Let's go there! I heard that the food they sell is really good" I suggested and Jungwon nodded, walking over to the counter and making our order.

"You weren't wrong ___!" Jungwon said as he ate again from what we had ordered "I know right?!" I chuckled and Jungwon nodded as he drank some water "Yes, it's really good!" He said and I smiled. We spent some more time at the mall after having lunch before going back home.

"Have you made a choice already?" Jungwon asked me as we walked side by side on the street on our way home "For tomorrow? Not really... It's hard" I admitted looking down as we walked "It's okay, ___. I know it's a bit difficult but I'm sure you'll make a good choice" he said and I smiled softly at him "The thing is... You and Sunoo are the best choice, the two of you" I said and heard Jungwon sigh beside me "I hope you choose well tomorrow" he said, before hugging me. I didn't realize when we were already in front of my apartment "I'll see you tomorrow ___, we'll send you a text, with Sunoo, to tell you where we'll meet" Jungwon said and I nodded "Okay, see you Won" I said and waved softly at him. I entered my apartment's building and into the lift, when I got to my floor I got inside my house and let out a sigh. What have I gotten myself into?

Jungwon told me that we were going to meet at the Han River with him and Sunoo so I could tell them my choice. I received a text from both of them, Sunoo and Jungwon.

Sun: what's your ETA, ___?

Won: ___, what's your ETA?

This was going to be hard for me. I replied them that I was going to arrive soon and continued my way to the river. I was nervous, a lot. I haven't even stopped to think about my own choice, what was I going to do?

I arrived and they were waiting for me already, I walked to them and they greeted me with a smile. Sunoo looked at me and I avoided his gaze along with Jungwon's. "Have you made your choice ___?" Sunoo asked me and I looked around, trying to think of an answer. I nodded, even when I wasn't sure of my answer "Then who it is, ___?" Jungwon asked me. He and Sunoo spoke again, making me move my gaze upwards to their faces.

"Who are you choosing, ___?"

☆゜・。。

Thank you for reading!

do not copy, repost on other socials or translate. all rights reserved to @/stqrlite.

-🏷️

[mariatesstruther]

🌧️

u asked for it anon!!!!

a show-canon fic where, just after maria has given birth, tommy has a Moment to worry about joel

maria is left looking down at her daughter in complete awe—she feels real and grounded and so so alive, holding this baby of her.

tommy looks at them for a while and, to her surprise, bursts out into silent sobs. at first when his face crumbles, maria thinks they’re happy tears—flattered, she tries to comfort him with soft coos of baby. its okay, she’s beautiful, we’re okay.

but she gets concerned when he doesnt stop—and in a split second, she realizes instantly why. it’s about joel. tommy doesn’t even realize it, but he has a certain special and bittersweetly tortured look in his eyes, when he thinks about his brother. she sees it now, even through his tears. she hates it—she hates seeing him hurt.

his crying gets worse and worse—hes crying so hard hes struggling to breathe, and now she is murmuring something different: tommy, tommy. hey, baby, come here. tommy, get up here, please, with me, with me. he crawls into bed and wraps his arms around her as she cradles their baby, gentle at first but growing firmer when he sees she can take it. he cries into her neck to the point of soaking her chest and makeshift hospital gown—still, its carefully and politely quiet enough not to wake their daughter. she knows it’s deliberate, and for it, she loves him even more.

“im sorry,” tommy starts to say, and maria shakes her head immediately. she knows exactly why hes hurting, and it breaks her heart that he thinks he has to apologize for it.

“no. don’t be—please, please don’t be sorry to me. not about this.”

“i just—,” his breathe hitches.

“i know, baby.”

“he should be back by now, Maria, he should be here—,”

“he will be,” she assures, knowing for a fact that she shouldn’t. it’s the stupidest thing you should do in a world like this, to make a promise like that—but she knows tommy has an undeniably hopeful soul. he believes in things like promises and noble causes and wishes and dreams, moreso than anyone she’s ever known—it’s one of many reasons why she fell in love with him. she knows what promises mean, to him, she knows what he needs to hear right now, and she knows it’s a bad idea, but she swears to him anyway. “joel is gonna come back, tommy, and him and Ellie will be just fucking fine. you hear me? and he’s going to be the best uncle ever to our little girl, okay?” his sobs quiet as he sighs, and she lightly elbows him until he’s looking her in the eyes. “you understand?”

tommy sniffs, nods, then kisses both her and their daughter on the forehead “yes, ma’am,” he drawls, voice rough but lighter now “i understand.”

and silently, maria thinks to joel: you fucking better come back here, you fucking fuck. with that goddamn kid, or so help me, i swear—i will find you, drag you back here to to talk your brother, and then gut you my fucking self.

[sleepymccoy]

An intimacy, a surprise

Chapter two: Pink and Orange

McCoy gave the sales attendant his card and she did whatever it was they'd all done to purchase his clothes and send them back to his room. Convenient, certainly, to not have to carry anything around as he went from shop to shop. Mysterious, too. The whole process was foreign to him, buying a whole bunch at one space station. He didn't really know where he'd got all his old kit, it just sort of steadily accumulated. Some of it quite fondly. He'd miss his old sweater. 

No point carrying on about it. He smiled at the lady and thanked her, taking his card back. As he glanced at the scarves by the door he spotted black hair in the crowd. 

The locals were all redheaded, so this must be someone from the Enterprise. A moment of craning his neck and the movement of the head told him Spock was walking away. 

McCoy slipped between the few people in his way and caught up with Spock. 

“Well, hello.”

Spock stopped and, annoyingly, betrayed no emotion. “Doctor,” he said in greeting.

He was wearing his own clothes. Loose pants, long enough to cover his shoes, and an oddly structured dark silver shirt. The deep swoop of the collar repeated asymmetrically in all the hem lines. He wore his makeup differently today too, perhaps to reflect the different clothes? There was a touch of silver over his eyelids.

Someone bumped McCoy's arm and muttered an apology. They were standing still in the middle of the thoroughfare. Whoops. “Go on, then, I'm busy but you can walk with me if you've got so much to say.”

Spock fell into step beside him quietly. McCoy had been inviting enough, Spock could say something or bugger off. McCoy was, genuinely, in too much of a rush to needle him into conversation. 

He turned them into a store, this one focused on shirts and sweaters. He thought rather bittersweetly of his good cashmere that now floated in space and promised himself something comfortable here.

“It is a great shame the readings of that beast were so damaged,” Spock said as McCoy lifted a green woolen knit up.

“Ah, if wishes were horses, Mr. Spock.”

“What do you shop for?”

“That beast you wish to read up on took out my whole closet. Shielding came up before it could get my knickknacks, but I'm without clothes for the foreseeable.” McCoy threw the jumper over his arm. He pulled the card out of his pocket and flashed it at Spock. “Starfleet gave me this.”

“Have you much left to spend?”

“I've no idea, I can't calculate change to save my life.” He pulled a few shirts off the rack rather absentmindedly. One of them was a rather nice tan and white number, that went over his arm. One was black and silver, that went back. Much more Spock's colours, those. “I'm just spending until it declines.”

Spock smirked. His hand rested on the jumper table, trailing over the folded clothes as he walked slowly in time with McCoy. “You may be at it for some time, Doctor. You are a senior officer, they will be generous.”

“Isn't that nice.” They were by the change room and he had five shirts and three jumpers. “Hang on a minute,” McCoy said and slipped behind the curtain. 

He tried the collars on first, not rushing but not exactly taking his time. He was struggling to bring himself to care very much. He took the tan one off and put it in the yes pile.

“Where does a big ol’ space creature get the mineral intake to grow claws like that anyway?” McCoy called out. He pulled a dark purple polo on.

“There are a great many loose asteroids in the universe, Sir,” Spock said softly. He was standing right by the curtain, barely a foot away. 

McCoy slowed down his changing. This purple was alright, but the shoulders were tight. 

“Yes, Sir, there are,” McCoy said quietly. He pulled the purple off and returned it to its hanger. “Still seems a touch unfair.”

“Evolution does not consider your view of fairness in its process.”

McCoy mimicked Spock unflatteringly and put another polo on, the pink one with thin black lines. It looked terrible.

He opened the curtain, holding the purple polo. “Did you see a-”

“I am not sure pink suits you,” Spock interrupted.

Keep reading via the readmore, or jump over to ao3 for the whole story!

McCoy stopped searching for the shop attended and stared at Spock, dumbfounded. “Of course it does. Why, what do you think suits me?.”

“Blue.”

McCoy lowered his hand, letting the purple shirt whack against his leg. He rolled his eyes and hopefully gave Spock a thoroughly withering look. “I'm not buying a blue shirt, my uniform is blue.” He shook his head. “I look gorgeous in pink.”

“Black, then,” Spock said. 

McCoy gaped. “You've fooled all of the ‘fleet into thinking you have an imagination, Mr. Spock. Don't know how you've done it. Pass me that orange jumper, would you?”

Spock did so. “You cannot wear pink and orange,” he said. 

“No?” McCoy asked sarcastically. “Not to your taste? Would you give me the damn jumper?” 

Spock held it out. McCoy snatched it out of his arms and withdrew into the changing room. “Honestly,” he muttered. 

He pulled the pink polo off and began wrestling a pale slip shirt on. Nothing special, but perfectly useful. He tried the jumpers on, liking all of them. 

Alright, time to wrap up. He pulled everything off and began straightening out his fleet issue undershirt in preparation to put it back on. 

The curtain flapped and Spock slipped into the change room, clothes in hand. 

“You ought to-”

“Spock!”

Spock met his eyes. McCoy held his shirt half-heartedly to his chest. Spock did not hesitate in keeping his gaze, although he did swallow very prettily. 

McCoy lowered the shirt. Spock's gaze lowered, rather confidently, with it. McCoy almost laughed.

“What is your objection?” Spock asked. He raised the small pile of clothes. “None of these are blue.” 

“So, when we're civilians anything goes, huh?” McCoy asked. 

Spock blinked. “That seems obvious to me, yes.”

“Obvious?” McCoy repeated. He'd been kept awake these last months wondering. “What's obvious is you are-” he stopped and breathed out heavily. No help starting a fight. He put his hand to his eyes in exasperation. 

“Leonard, you-”

“Shut up, Spock,” McCoy grumbled, “I'm coming to terms with what you're like.” 

McCoy dropped his hand and glared at Spock. He let his shirt fall to the ground and stepped into the foot gap between him and Spock. He tapped Spock's chin, encouraging him to raise his head. Spock obeyed, baring his throat. 

McCoy leaned in and pressed his mouth to Spock's Adam's apple, kissing him firmly. Spock swallowed, and his throat moved under McCoy's lips. McCoy slid up, tasting the slight salt on Spock's skin, and kissed the dip under his chin. 

Spock let out a huff of air. McCoy sucked his skin in, intending an inconveniently visible hickey. As he did he ran his finger down Spock's neck, finding a curved seam in his shirt and following that down his chest. Spock dropped the bundle of clothes he held and wrapped an arm around McCoy's waist.

“Leonard,” Spock gasped. McCoy let up on the bruise and pulled back. Spock lowered his face and adjusted so his lips lay on McCoy's, not kissing him but dragging their mouths together. 

“There are still rules that apply to civilians,” Spock muttered.

“Like one person per change room?” McCoy asked, lips gentle and teasing against Spock's. “You broke that.” He left the not me implied, for Spock understood well enough. 

Spock slowly let go of his waist, his fingers dragging like pokers across McCoy's back. “How much do you have left to buy?”

McCoy laughed. “A great deal.” He stepped back. “Do you have plans tonight?”

“Dinner, yes.”

McCoy picked up the clothes Spock had dropped. One of the shirts was rather nice, so he started pulling that on. 

“After that?” McCoy asked.

“None.”

McCoy looked at himself in the mirror, then shifted his focus to Spock's reflection. “They put me in suite 712.”

Spock met his reflected gaze steadily. That hickey looked promising. “Good to know.”

McCoy smiled. “Got time for a drink?”

“Oh, yes.”

McCoy nodded vaguely towards a bar he'd eyed earlier. “Across the road. I'll have a bourbon, meet you in a few.”

Spock frowned, turned on his heel, and left. McCoy hoped he would see him in the bar soon. 

He took the shirt off. 

---

Spock had not met him for a drink. McCoy had lost the sting of the rejection before he'd finished the bourbon he'd ordered himself. The rules of this game were new to both of them still, it would take time to walk in lockstep.

He hoped, though, that Spock would take him up on his invitation tonight. He wore some new clothes, he had no other kind to wear, and kicked his feet onto the windowsill. The slow moving opposite edge of the Moebius strip space station they clung onto life inside spun across the way, the edges of glass and mirror catching the light intermittently. 

Eventually, as McCoy was regretting not buying warmer socks, the doorbell sounded. 

“Come,” McCoy invited. 

The sound was slightly off here, the technology worked at an oddly high pitch. But regardless, the nearly familiar sound of the door opening and closing sounded. 

“Enjoy your dinner?” McCoy asked. 

“No,” Spock said. He sounded just slightly surprised at the question. 

McCoy chuckled. Spock stayed quiet. 

“Disaster waiting to happen, out there,” McCoy breathed.

“The station is well within safety requirements.”

“Come sit with me, would you? Can feel you standing behind me like a bat.”

Spock sat in the other chair.

“What are they thinking; prioritising prettiness? If it could be safer, it should be.” 

“You must appreciate the purpose of art, Doctor.”  

“Perfectly in favour of art, me,” McCoy muttered. He wished Spock would use his first name. “Only not when it leaves my life hanging on by a very pretty thread.” 

“Philistine,” Spock said.

McCoy grinned. He turned to face Spock. “Am I?” 

Spock looked stunning in this light, his shirt catching the glow from the window and reflecting in his eyes brightly. But he was carrying on about art right now, so McCoy wasn't going to compliment him by mentioning it. 

He'd put a necklace on, a high brass thing that looked like it would restrict some movement. It perfectly covered the darkness McCoy had sucked onto his skin earlier, leaving McCoy to suspect that Spock had not healed the bruise away. That was a warming thought. It made McCoy want to leave a few other marks he might be able to keep until they faded naturally. Lower on his neck. His thigh. Perhaps his wrist.

“What makes you the authority on worthwhile art, then?” McCoy asked, slightly breathless from his own meandering thoughts.

“Vulcans value beauty,” Spock said simply.

McCoy hummed. He was in a mood to take it as a compliment, although it almost certainly wasn't intended as one. He wondered if Spock thought copper bruises were beautiful. 

Not knowing what to say, McCoy fell back on old habits. He said lightheartedly, “I regret asking.” 

Spock smiled slightly, and McCoy felt it pull at him. His gut heated, he liked it when Spock shared an emotion. He wasn't expressing, exactly, but was communicating quite intentionally with it. 

And the sounds he'd made under McCoy's hands those couple of months ago. McCoy hadn't known Spock could relax like that, he'd never imagined it. It sat heavy and hot in him, never far from his recollecting. 

But there was something in the way. They should have discussed it last time, but they hadn't. He'd discovered since that there was no way to raise it on the ship. And then in the shop, well, they'd gotten close. But McCoy had distracted himself.

So, he'd promised himself. Talk beforehand. 

“I've got to ask, Spock,” McCoy said, looking back out at the silly space station. 

“Yes?”

“This-” he sucked in his breath. “What would you call this? Between us?”

“A surprise,” Spock said dryly.

McCoy barked out a laugh. “For me too, darlin’!”

“This intimacy,” Spock offered quietly. “What is your question?”

“Only when we're civilians, yes?”

“I think that best.”

So did McCoy. He nodded. “You know I won't, necessarily, always want to pick up with you.” He glanced at Spock, then turned back to the view.

“Variety is quite natural, ashal-veh.”

McCoy frowned and turned to Spock slowly. He was smirking, the bastard. 

“Ashellefeh?” McCoy asked.

Spock’s smirk relaxed into one of his rare, genuine smiles. “Darlin’,” he said, with an exaggerated, and quite unconvincing, southern drawl. 

McCoy laughed outright, tipping his head back. When he recovered Spock still looked very pleased with himself. 

“Tea?” McCoy offered.

Spock nodded, so McCoy went to the kitchen. It was enough for him, some basic guidelines to keep matters off the ship. An implication that this would continue. A clarity that it may be kind, friendly, but not romantic. It all sat well in him, it felt right. He didn't feel the burning fear that he had had one chance to touch Spock and, while he had taken it and spent two nights doing just that, it was in the past. 

There was future now, an amorphous future that allowed him to stop getting so distracted by memories. Hopefully. And a future that still prioritised their difficult work.

As he was poking through the supplied teas for something herbal and not too floral, Spock slid into the kitchen behind him. 

“Do you wish to be alone tonight, Leonard?” 

“No,” McCoy said. “No, I'm just in my head is all.” He tapped the kettle on.

Spock stood by the doorway and tilted his head to the side. The room behind him was dark, blending with his hair. 

“Is that collar comfortable?” McCoy asked. It didn't look it, the metal pressed against the edge of his jaw like a cage. 

“Not particularly,” Spock admitted. “But it is not uncomfortable” 

McCoy hummed. “Like you are not unpleasant?”

“What use is pleasant, I am pertinent.” 

“That sounds like something I'd say behind your back.” The kettle rang to indicate the water had boiled. McCoy busied himself with mugs. 

“Why do you not use the hot water from the tap?” Spock asked. 

McCoy passed him his mug. “I like to wait, tastes better.”

Spock gave him a dumbfounded look, like he'd suggested they quit Starfleet and run a plant nursery together. But he said nothing, simply accepting the mug and turning back into the dark living room. 

They sat in their seats. After a moment, Spock quietly began to remove his collar-like necklace. McCoy watched, fascinated, as he carefully removed a pin which allowed the device to swing open on a tiny hinge. 

The hickey was hard to spot in the low light. As Spock leaned forward to place the contraption on the coffee table the light caught his neck just so, and the hickey stood out. 

“Want another?” McCoy asked. 

Spock looked at him and sat back in the arm chair. He blinked slowly, then, “Yes.” 

McCoy went to Spock and stood over him, running a hand into Spock's hair to tip his face up. Spock slid a hand between McCoy's legs, gripping his inner thigh. As McCoy kissed Spock, Spock's hand moved to grope McCoy's ass.

Here's that ao3 link again, there's nineteen chapters <3