#is really a healthy relationship in the end

[ms-demeanor]

Hi, this is maybe a pointless question where the answer is just "that's how life works," but how do you have energy for all the things you do? You seem to be constantly juggling 50 different projects and juggling them well. You create so many community resources, do deep scientific dives on your own time, excel at work, plus maintain social and familial relationships. I was able to maintain good work performance, a hobby, and social life for maybe six months last year before I burned out

The thing is I'm juggling it badly, it's just that you see the curated version here on tumblr! I've got probably five times as many stalled and unfinished resources/projects as I have completed ones, I am in a constant state of numbness/anxiety at work (since the new company bought us I'm really, really overworked and have been putting in 10-12 hour days pretty regularly - it's why my posting and writing here has dropped off and my fiction writing is basically not happening), and I'm actually a pretty shit friend because it's difficult for me to make time to communicate with people and leave the house.

My two tricks to make it seem like I've got it together are:

Just do a lot of shit. Some of it will get finished even if you end up with a ton of abandoned projects and if you do this at a high enough volume you can still get a lot done

Join some kind of club or regular hangout event; once a month I go hang out with the same group of people i've been hanging out with for twenty years and sometimes we'll plan things outside of that group and that's most of my social life.

I am also exhausted at all times but I've got the shark version of ADHD where I feel like if I'm not doing something I'll die.

I am probably deeply in danger of burning out but I've had the same "maybe if I get hit by a car I could take a couple weeks off of school without it destroying my life" feeling since i was 10 so it's hard for me to gauge if there's a collapse of any kind coming.

Have you ever tried to get yourself to sprint by falling forward and just putting your feet in front of yourself? It's like that, but I've managed to keep my feet under me so far. I'd say "if I had to deal with any obstacles it would make me fall flat on my face" but I'm actually more productive in catastrophes so. Who knows!

Mental illness. I think the answer is mental illness. I am not a healthy example to follow and I don't want people to think that the way that I act is A) Normal B) Healthy C) Effortless D) Sustainable.

I am just obsessive and weird and I don't sleep very much and I don't leave the house very frequently. I think things were better before the pandemic, when I was doing things with the band and could go to shows because Large Bastard wasn't immune compromised, but a lot has changed in the last five years.

[cheapshrimpysheep]

Hiii!! is it okay if I request a comfort(?) scenario/headcanons with Vil, Idia, Malleus and Lilia where a female protagonist feels self-conscious about having stretch marks and/or cellulite, thanks (Sorry if it's not spelled well, English is not my native language)

COMMENTS: So... even though I myself am a woman, I genuinely never saw stretch marks or cellulite as something bad or ugly, and I still don't. So maybe making the characters share the same vision as me would be accurate? The only exception to complete indifference is Vil, but not in the way you might be thinking.

Btw, I didn't see any point in writing this in a context other than an already advanced relationship given the topic. Fortunately, the 4 characters are 18 years or older so it doesn't end up being... you know, too weird.

I explain at the end why I couldn't write anything for Malleus or Lilia. But despite that, I hope you and all like what I managed to write. ❤️

CHARACTERS: Vil Schoenheit / Idia Shroud

TAGS: Fluff; Fem!Reader; Comfort; In a Relationship; Suggestive(?)

WORD COUNT: An average of 580 words per character

CONTEXT: I don't think it would make sense for two people to have this kind of intimate conversation outside of a romantic or even sexual relationship. So in that situation, he and you would be in a relationship.

This was an insecurity of yours from the beginning. After all, your boyfriend was none other than Vil Schoenheit. It would be worrying enough if he were a normal model, but he's not only a super model but one of the biggest in all of Twisted Wonderland.

He had already noticed that since you started dating you seemed more worried and less confident about your appearance and that was when he said to you:

“I am the one who needs to be perfect, not you. If I wanted to date a model I could do it, but my standards in romantic relationships are others. Different from some of my colleagues in this field. I will always help you to further improve your image if you wish and feel comfortable with it. Please don't see this as me wanting you to change your appearance, but as an attempt to make you as beautiful on the outside as you are on the inside.” He pauses for a second. “However, for some reason, there's something that bothers me about the possibility of making you start living the same lifestyle as me.”

But he would only get the answer to why that bothered him later.

“The truth is: you are my escape. I don't feel the pressure to be perfect with you because... you know I'm not and yet you look at me with more admiration than anyone else. You are my escape from the superficial and futile parts of my professional life. When you live in these types of environments, you start to lose track of what really matters and what really does you good. Thinking about you being swallowed up by this... and losing your genuine smile... because of me... I can't allow it! Please know that no opinion about your appearance matters other than your own. And it wasn't just that that made me fall in love.”

This may have made you feel more comfortable and confident about your appearance again, but as the relationship became more serious and you became more intimate, eventually your problem with stretch marks and cellulite began to affect your mood again.

At home, Vil had massage sessions from time to time not only to help him relax but also for other healthy effects it had on his body. He thought that now that he was dating you, maybe it would be interesting for him to buy massage products and for you to start having these sessions with each other.

“You deserve a massage probably even more than I do.” He tells you, referring to the hardships you go through with Grim and the others.

And that's when he realizes from your hesitation that something about your appearance has bothered you again. He asks you to tell him and that you can trust him. After all, if you couldn't, what kind of boyfriend would he be? And you end up talking about your stretch marks and cellulite.

“I see.” He says understandingly. “I've never had them myself, but I've met many women in the beauty industry who talk about it to each other. Not to mention the advertisements for products for it. Do you remember what I told you when we first started dating and you felt less confident about your appearance? I am the one who needs to be perfect, not you. Furthermore, from what I understand, these marks are usually found on areas around the stomach, hips, breasts, and thighs.” He looks at you seductively. “You don't really think I would have any kind of criticism if you gave me the honor of seeing these parts of your body, do you? Why don't you let me give you that massage? I'll show you what I truly find beautiful about you.”

At first you didn't even think about it. It was only when the relationship started to get more serious and you started to sleep together from time to time that you started to worry.

Especially when Idia started having less of a problem walking around you shirtless. And giving hints about how he would like to see you wearing his shirts, without pants.

One day he says he wants to acknowledge the elephant in the room, but instead of asking why you hide your body so much, he asks if you still don't consider him worthy of seeing his girlfriend comfortably sexy.

“You never hid the fact that you like to see me shirtless.” He says while playing some game on the computer. “I also want to see you like that. Not necessarily shirtless, that's another level, but like, you know I don't like to embody the confident handsome guy who likes to walk around with little clothing on." His hair starts to turn hot pink.” But... I like how you look at me when I do. And what you say. Which I never understood ‘cause I don't even have good physics. But you do! You would be that character that every player simps for.” He sinks into his chair. “But I understand, getting that kind of look from me is disgusting...”

You may have your insecurities, but he has them too. And finally you feel the need and the comfort enough to reveal to him that that isn’t the problem, that you would also like him to find you hot as you find him and that the problem is your marks.

“What marks? Like scars? Don't tell me you have cool battle scars, like doesn't that make a person even sexier?”

You say you're not talking about scars, but stretch marks and cellulite.

“... Yah... sorry, I think I rolled a natural 1 in intelligence for this. What was that again?”

You say they are marks, irregularities and dimples in the skin and that he can search them on the internet. He does that.

“It says that these are natural things that don't do any harm. But they can impact self-image.” He researches a little more. “Wait! Are you trying to tell me that you find these strips and irregularities ugly enough to the point that you have to hide them? THIS?” He smiles mockingly “Oh no! How horrible! Your skin looks like... skin! What a tragedy!”

He will be very happy if you can laugh with him.

“As if I would even notice that. It says here that these marks are usually found on areas around the stomach, hips, breasts, and thighs. Do you really think that if I saw these parts of your body it would be little stripes and dimples that would catch my attention?” The pink in his hair becomes more intense. “I may be a shut-in but don't lump me in with those worms who define their standards based on adult videos. I can assure you that's not what you'll have to worry about if you take your clothes off in front of me.”

He finally looks at you with a seductive look and smiles confidently when he sees that you are flustered.

I really really really tried to imagine scenarios with Malleus or Lilia, but I couldn't think of anything very meaningful.

Malleus wouldn't understand the problem even if you tried to explain it to him because... it doesn't make sense to him. They're just marks. He also has marks, like, on his forehead. Is there something wrong with this?

And Lilia would just laugh for you thinking this is a problem and just tell you to forget about it.

They wouldn't understand, because it wouldn't make any difference to them at all. And that's it.

With Vil and Idia I was able to think of something because they are, like, from this generation, and because one is in the beauty industry and the other is, probably, chronically online, they can see where your insecurity comes from. But for someone like Malleus or Lilia, this type of insecurity has no basis whatsoever. I really don't know what to write with them.

Sorry. 🥺

If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX

[miwiheroes]

Hey! Miwiheroes

I saw you succesfully converting a mileven into a byler, and can you do the same to me plz? I don't like mileven community, they often are really close minded and I don't wanna be a part of it anymore. I open the debate and please try to justify this things that make me believe in mileven endgame:

1- Mike has insecurities since s1 about feeling needed and having somebody to lean on, I do believe Mike's family lacks love and is cold, and maybe that is why he has those insecurities. Where am I going with this? Well, when El disappeared, Mike got super upset and, in my opinion, he overprotected Will so he could FEEL like somebody needed him, I think Finn and the Duffers mention it in an interview a while ago. So maybe that is the cause he couldn't say "I love you" to Eleven, he even says it, he believes she will leave him eventually, like everybody does. That is probs the cause he is obsessed with El in s3, because he really loves her and is too scared of losing her.

I just can't see why byler is supposed to be the endgame. I think in s5 Mike will motivate El to fight and they eventually will come together at the end, having their happy ending.

+ Maybe he was sad in the snowball because he thought El would just leave him there

Those insecurities are not healthy for a relationship, but they show he really loves her

I would love to see this things from a byler perspective if you can

Tyyy

Hiya!! Glad you came to me it's such an honour tbh

Yes, Mike definitely has insecurities surrounding being needed. The thing is: character arcs being set up in season 4 suggest that El no longer needs him/ should no longer need love from a man who treats her badly, makes her feel insecure. The change from the beginning of season 4 to the end clearly shows this:

El thinks she needs Mike's love to know that she is not a monster.

El goes to the lab and figures out by herself without Mike's love that she is not a monster.

Mike says 'I love you' to her. He calls her a 'superhero'. It does not work and does not save Hawkins because she no longer needs that.

They are not on the best terms afterwards because El has a very different perspective on things.

So now we've established that it's pretty clear that she no longer needs him. I think she's realised by the end, that their relationship won't work. This is why they won't be endgame for me, it makes no sense for her storyline in S5 to be Mike 'motivating her'.

She does not need a man to motivate her, cmon. Come on now. A point in season 4's lab storyline is that she can do all this shit by herself, drawing on her mother's love. She was able to gain back her powers through love, but at that point she had no clue Mike loved her or not. And yet she still got them back. She did not need Papa either, and he was constantly paralleled to MIKE in season 4.

Okay back to the beginning of your ask.

Mike's always been protective of Will, and we can see how their relationship is very different compared to their other friends throughout season one. An example of him being protective is when he does stuff like:

"I'm the only one acting normal here. I'm the only one that cares about Will."

"So this is all Will's fault?!"

*Literally pushes his bully over onto the ground and is willing to fight him after he says homophobic things about him*

*Constantly urges Lucas that Will is alive when the rest of them don't think so*

Like, bro literally instigates all his friends to go out looking for him in the rain, because he believes that would be what Will would do for them ("he put himself in danger to help the party").

So in your point of view, Mike projected his protective feelings about someone needing him onto Will because he's upset about El being gone. Couldn't the EXACT same thing be said but the opposite way around then? Mike likes to be needed. And it just happens to be that these two people need him in that moment. However, THE DIFFERENCE is this:

When Will goes missing? Mike never gives up. He constantly urges his friends to do whatever it takes to find Will. The reason he keeps El around (before he makes friends with her) is because bad people are after her and because she recognises Will in a photo. He says that El is a weapon and that "we can't find Will if we're dead". Even when they all believe him to be dead, he says that Will isn't because of something he heard on the radio, just like how Joyce heard him on the phone.

When El goes missing? Mike gives up. To be honest, it's been a year. Maybe if Will went missing for a year, he would have given up then too. But, we can see in a flashback scene from the VERY DAY that El goes missing, Mike literally sees her and doesn't go after her. The government does, but he just squints at her and doesn't do anything. Mike calls her on the walkie, and on halloween, he stops, prioritising Will and later figuring out that meeting him was the best thing he's ever done, and it seems conclusive. He has no hope of her being alive because he says to Max, "But she's gone, just like Bob." (Bobs literally just died so hes saying shes dead). Mike never uses Will as a vessel to find El, even though he easily could, being that he's connected to the upside down.

So where am I going with this? No. Mike does not project his feelings onto Will from his feelings about El. The behaviours he exhibits are continuous from his feelings before El went missing, and he doesn't treat him in the same way.

Some other points you brought up were:

Mike is afraid to lose El and that is why he can't say I love you. Of course he is afraid to lose her. He cares about her, he's said that truthfully. He's afraid to lose Dustin, he's afraid to lose Will, he's afraid to lose Lucas, he's afraid to lose anyone. He feels that survivors' guilt from season one especially though, which is all the more upsetting about why he says I love you in the end. Will tells Mike that El needs him and always will. Mike gets the belief that El needs him to say I love you to her, and gets reminded by Will before he says it. AND SO that is why he says it to her in the end. In reality of course, it is Will that needs him. SOOOO the thing that makes him 'love' El is that fact that she needs him, but he's going to get a real shock when he realises he loved the version of El that's really Will and what he feels.

Mike lives in a loveless and cold family. No he's not in a completely loveless family. Karen loves both her kids and expresses it regularly, and we even see this in season 4 when Karen hugs Mike at the reunion scene. I guess what you might be talking about is Ted and Karen. Here's the fucking thing. Mike knows his parents are not in love. He thinks that's what relationships are supposed to look LIKE. He internalises his family's issues. So, he gets into a relationship like his parents', a loveless one. In season 3 we see him trying to act on logic not emotion, seeing that getting into a relationship like this is just the logical course of action and just part of growing up. That's exactly what NANCY DOES WITH STEVE and yet I don't see people going 'oH shE lOveS hiM sHe jUst nEvEr sEen hEr pAreNts sAy iT!!!!'. We can all agree that she just tried to emulate her parents, but she doesn't actually love him. (SHE EVEN SAID I LOVE YOU OUT LOUD but still can't mean it truthfully). But how about we break this cycle? Breaking cycles of loveless relationships is one of the themes in stranger things so it makes sense for this to happen again.

Maybe he's sad in the Snowball scene because he thinks maybe El will leave him there. He only seemed upset when Will went with someone else and the camera shots literally makes it clear? I have a whole post on this if you want to read it: Snowball Scene Analysis. When El comes in, he doesn't say anything like 'Oh I had no idea you'd be here'. I believe that he knew she was coming, and sitting on that chair, he was conflicted given everything that went on with him that season, the promises he's made to El vs. the way he feels about Will now. The one shot of him looking at her also doesn't make him seem happy, but yeah, take that scene and do what you want with it tbh.

OOF okay thankyou so much for your ask!! This was quite the challenge but it really actually gave me a whole new perspective on things and I really love these asks because it gives me a chance to better understand the show itself <3 Let me know if you're swayed or smth haha or if you have a counterpoint :)

Also thanks for not being toxic. If anyone wants to come and debate with me, do it in this way, because there is no space for negativity and toxicity on my page thankyou very much.

[foolsdiamond]

One of the most difficult aspects of abuse is that abusers are people. Many people who end up as abusers are normal people who simply arent participating in your relationship in a healthy way. Maybe their parents or their school or their religious upbringing taught them to behave that way. Maybe they don't have any good examples in their life. Maybe they think they're acting correctly, and aren't aware they're causing harm; maybe they're aware they're causing harm, but don't believe they're the problem from it.

I was with my ex for almost 10 years. 10 years of emotional abuse, and even if he felt he was behaving manipulatively or saying something toxic, he felt that my reaction made him feel so horrible he was actually the victim. He completely believed that he was trapped with me as his abuser, and I fully believe I was trapped with him as mine. He was charming, he was hilarious, he was fascinating; there's a reason I stayed for 10 years!

Its really hard being a victim of abuse when you realize your abuser is a person. Sometimes, you do have to learn to be selfish, and to stand up for yourself, even if that means losing someone you've invested years of your life into. You may struggle on your own, but speak with your friends; you might have a support network already that you weren't aware was around you.

this random but should be heard:

you are not and will never be a bad person for distancing yourself from someone who was destroying your mental health/making you want to relapse. no matter how hard they guilt trip you.

[cryptidafter]

Late to the party but I wanted to share my

Top 5 GLs of 2024! (only counting shows that I watched in 2024 and that finished airing in 2024)

Affair The Series

Nobody is doing obsession like Wan and Pleng! It’s about the drama, the chemistry, the possessiveness. This show gave me everything I’ve been craving for a GL to deliver on and then some. It’s wild to me that this is the first series Lookmhee and Sonya have done together because they’re both phenomenal. These two have had me in a chokehold ever since and I am desperately begging for a new LMSY show as soon as possible!

2. The Loyal Pin

I could go on and on about how much I adored this show. It was a sleeper hit for me and I’m glad I ended up continuing it. The beginning is a bit slow but once things pick up, it’s a great story. Freen and Becky are fantastic together, they really play off of each other well. Becky had some standout moments (that fabric monologue was !!!!). The costuming and detailed set design choices really bring this show to life and I’m not even a huge fan of period dramas. Despite a few questionable story choices, I think TLP delivered on what was promised. Also shoutout to @hallowpen for their write-ups each episode. I definitely learned a lot about Thai culture and customs thanks to them which helped enhance my viewing experience.

3. The Secret Of Us

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention TSOU. This was the first GL series I watched and I haven’t looked back since. It’s cute and a bit melodramatic but in the best way. I wrote two whole fics for this show while it was airing which is proof enough of how invested I was lol. Nothing will ever be quite as unhinged as Earn eating a banana to trigger an allergic reaction just so she can get admitted to the hospital her ex-girlfriend works at. Girl was DEDICATED and I love her for that lol.

4. Blank The Series

Nobody let me know that there was an age gap GL floating around (and that the age gap was the least wild part about the dynamics in this show lol) but better late than never! I’m shocked by how fast I powered through this show but I was hooked. This is another series that fully delivered on the drama with a healthy dose of heat which I appreciated. A fun and wild ride from start to finish!

5. Reverse 4 You

I will always be a sucker for time shenanigans so I was very excited for this one. I do wish it could’ve gotten a few extra episodes to really flesh out the plot towards the end but I appreciate the show for what it is. I enjoyed the relationship between Jattawa and her little sister and that it was equally as, if not more, important than the romance. A few scenes did genuinely shock me in a good way (this was before I discovered that the “someone gets hit by a car” trope was a staple of GLs lol). We have yet to get an actual butch character in a GL but I’m happy we at least got a bit of futch action going with Four (everyone say thank you Christine Gulasatree lol)

[the-100-days-of-junkan]

Day 0

Okay so I know the way I framed it makes it seem like I discovered this last second, but uhhh nah I found this months ago during I the making of the Music Video. So let’s tell a little story before I start getting weird with it.

So like. I couldn’t tell you what sent me down this path, but I was looking through a flashdrive with very old files on it, like, two or three whole laptops old. Actually probably only two. Anyway, on this old flashdrive I found a page of sketches from 2020. How do I know it was from 2020? It had villagers from my first island in Animal Crossing New Horizons on it. There was also a really rough looking sketch of what I can only assume was Mukuro and Sayaka. And in the bottom right corner, was this image. What might be the oldest piece of Junkan art I have, period. 

Okay that’s not technically accurate. I mentioned it offhandedly before but the first ever Junkan piece I drew was basically a joke. Because at the time the idea of Junkan being a healthy relationship was just a joke between me and my friends.

Four panels, and the joke is basically “Junko scraps her entire tragedy plan because Mikan’s hot and she wants to bang her.” I could easily find it, and I won’t act like I didn’t consider doing so to put it at the very bottom of this post purely for historical/archival purposes. But I kinda just get irrationally angry looking at it so I think I’m fine just, leaving it behind. And god knows it ain’t getting its own post.

So even if it’s not the true first junkan I ever drew, it’s the first one I drew where I gave a shit. That I can say for sure.

I wish I remembered drawing it though. 

Yeah i just, have no recollection of this. I don’t know why I drew it, what it is, anything. I have theories of course. My strongest one is that I read the first two chapters of Smile, and in my blacked out state of mine I drew this to get something out of my system? But that might not line up with the timeline. But I’ve no way of confirming what caused this to come into existence.

I have another theory unrelated to why it exists but for a certain aspect. I noticed as I was putting this together that Junko's got a Rabbit Clip in her hair (despite also having a bear clip but hey I wasn't exactly memorizing the designs by this point). That either means 2 things. I fucked up and didn't realize Junko doesn't wear the same outfit as disguised mukuro. Oooor, because I was so paranoid, and I'm pretty sure I sent this to at least a few friends at the time if not a slightly more public area (by my standards), I might have drawn it like that so worst case scenario I could write it off as Mukuro in Junko's outfit.

It kinda scared me at first when I looked at this? Like, this just exists and because of the time between now and when I allegedly drew this, there’s just this disconnect. Like, I don’t feel like I made this. I was so different back in 2020, I had less baggage, but also I kinda just felt isolated from a lot of people. I had like, 2 people I talked too pretty consistently, I had acquaintances but it wasn’t till later after my ex that I started actually talking to people more. 

Normally when I look at old art, it’s just that, looking at old art. But that’s because I can remember those pieces usually, this is something so old and obscure it couldn’t even become a memory, it’s uncanny. 

Now that I’ve had it sitting in my files that sense of unease is a lot less prominent. Now I can just look at it as old art like normal. 

I don’t really know what the point of this was? I guess I just wanted to provide one more treat, even if we jumped way down the scale of quality from Day 100. But hey it kind of being like, a relic makes up for it probably? I dunno. So this is the proper end of the project! It’s been nice! Even if I’ll see ya back for Junkan Week, and then way later The Month of Junkan, it definitely won’t feel the exact same. I’m gonna miss these daily posts, but I guess that’s why I’m gonna just have to make even more Junkan to keep it up! Though I don’t know if I’ll ramble as much as I did across these posts. Glad ya’ll liked em though! I always felt worried about being overboard with my commentary but it seems like that was just a bit more baseless paranoia on my part~

Look forward to the coming months! Because I sure am! 

As always, Reblogs, Comments, and Little Notes in the Tags are appreciated!~ They always make my day!~

[scribbleboxfox]

The Long Road Home has updated

[LINK TO CHAPTER]

Fic info below the cut.

Chapters: 74/?

Fandom:Red vs. Blue

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Relationships: Agent Carolina/Vanessa Kimball, Dexter Grif/Dick Simmons, Franklin Delano Donut/Frank “Doc” DuFresne, Katie Jensen/Charles Palomo, Siris / Megan, Lavernius Tucker/Agent Washington

Characters: Agent Washington (Red vs. Blue), Agent Carolina (Red vs. Blue), Dick Simmons, Sarge (Red vs. Blue), Franklin Delano Donut, Lopez (Red vs. Blue), Dexter Grif, Frank “Doc” DuFresne, Lavernius Tucker, Michael J. Caboose, All the other AI’s, Vanessa Kimball, Epsilon, Donald Doyle, John Elizabeth Andersmith, Katie Jensen, Antoine Bitters, Charles Palomo, Matthews, Emily Grey, Original Characters, Felix | Isaac Gates, Locus | Samuel Ortez, Siris | Mason Wu, Megan Wu, Four Seven Niner, Malcolm Hargove, Kaikaina Grif | Sister

Additional Tags: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Psychological Trauma, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dissociation, PTSD, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Panic Attacks, Frisbee Murder (don’t ask), Attempted Murder, Space Battles, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Platonic Slow-Burn, Mental Instability, Flashbacks, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Platonic Relationships, Russian Roulette, Creepy-Ass Villains, Canon-Typical Violence, Major Character Injury, Redemption, So Many Space Dads, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Torture, Found Family, i take the canon and i put it in a box, and then i put that box into another box, then i mail it to myself, and when it arrives, i SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER, Canon Divergence, post s13

Summary: With The Staff of Charon a smoking-yet-functional speck on the horizon, and the threat of an active weapons system on one of Chorus’ moons, the fight is far from over.  While Locus is no longer a threat, another one of Hargrove’s former lackeys waits for the Reds and Blues as they race to stop the weapons system from coming online. Does she really want to help them? Or is she hiding a more sinister motive? And why is she so interested in Locus?!

[average-mako-enjoyer]

I really don't want to sound like I'm trying to correct you or impose my view of the canon on you, that's not my intention. It's just one of the things I love about writing in Mass Effect, and it's really important to me personally.

These games definitely suffer from the "The Protagonist Is A Unique, Special Snowflake Chosen One Destined To Save The World" syndrome, and sometimes it's pretty lame, and sometimes it's so lame that I physically need it to be retconned somehow. But there are some clever narrative choices, and the way Shepard's squadmate arcs are tied into this Chosen One theme is one of them.

So Shepard has all these different dynamics with different characters. For them Shepard is a mentor figure, or just an employer, or a friend, or a partner in crime, or a mentee, or an older sibling, etc.

Some of Shepard's relationships change and deepen over the course of the trilogy, some stay the same, but what's interesting about all of this is that for no one, for none of these characters, is Shepard the center of the universe. Everyone has their own life apart from Shepard, everyone has their own goals that don't revolve around their relationship with Shepard, and that's a good thing.

Both Liara and Garrus do not fall apart after Shepard's death; they continue to pursue the goals they set for themselves over the course of ME1.

After Shepard's death, Garrus returns to C-Sec for a brief moment, but he has already tasted the freedom of the Spectre authority, so he cannot go back to being a cop. He's after all the ends-justify-the-means squadmate, the bragging-about-how-good-I-am-at-torturing-suspects squadmate, the violence-is-the-ultimate-solution-to-the-world's-problems squadmate, so of course he goes to the most unlawful place in the galaxy. Not because he's falling apart or because he's suicidal, but because he desperately wants to be a hero and a leader, and to not be constrained by the law. That's what he always wanted, long before he met Shepard.

Yes, Shepard definitely affected him on a personal level, he even tries to form his own Shepard's Squad (and pushes them too far), but he moves on.

Liara's arc is more nuanced, that's for sure. So we know that she's very driven, she can be very focused on a problem and systematically look for the solution. She is, after all, a Dr. T'Soni. She's also Benezia's daughter.

In ME1, Liara is a wallflower, right? She has her niche research, she goes on digs, she tries not to get involved in the politics, and then everything changes. She almost gets kidnapped by Saren, who wants both an expert on Prothean culture and a bargaining chip against Benezia, she realizes that her mother is involved with that lunatic, and she tries to rectify that somehow.

The ending of ME1 for her is avenging her mother. When you take her to the final mission against Saren, she's the one who shoots him in the head. And yeah, I think that drastic change and trauma breaks her a little bit. Also, Shepard was her first mind meld, and it all happened at a time when she was extremely vulnerable, so she gets a little too attached to them (I won't comment on this creative choice).

The armor under the glass thing is not healthy, it's not okay, but she hasn't fallen apart and she's not stuck. She's still Dr. T'Soni, she's an incredibly driven individual, she does an insane amount of work without Shepard, not even believing they could be resurrected.

What really happened with Shepard's squad after their death is just grief. They are all still living their lives, pursuing their goals, forming new relationships, but they are also grieving.

Grief for Shepard is not the driving force for any of them, and that's great.

Unromanced Kaidan/Ashley in ME2: I tried to move on after your death, Shepard, but I just couldn't. Your death broke me in more ways than you can imagine. Losing you was like losing a limb.

Fandom:

Just please exclude characters you never bothered to interact with or understand from your "analysis". You can just love the characters and not try to make those comparisons, really. You don't have to.

[fate2716]

So new ideas for a fanfic, listen to me:

A fic where Enid confesses her feelings to Wednesday, and she feels the same, she has fallen prey to the Addams Curse, but she rejects her because she feels that she doesn't deserve her and thinks that she will never be able to make her happy since she can't give her what she thinks she wants like PDA, watching pop movies, words of love, etc. (obviously we all know she can, she is Gomez's daughter after all, but she is still emotionally repressed in this moment).

Some time later, a new student arrives, and she and Enid begin to form a friendship that little by little seems to transform into something romantic, the thing is: this girl is too similar to the psychic, in style and ways of spiking and behaving. Their relationship is how she imagined it would be if she and Enid were together instead, and the strangest thing is that the werewolf seems to be really happy with that dynamic, without demanding more (our blonde respects other people's boundaries because she is a sweetheart).

Now it's time for Wednesday to be conflicted and wonder if she really made the right decision by rejecting the blonde, after all, if Enid wanted that kind of relationship, why couldn't she be the one standing by her side? Why not be the one who makes her happy? Can she win back Enid's love? Could it be that she still feels the same? Will she still have a chance to repair her mistake? Can she show her that she is a better option? And more importantly, how?

[queerautism]

Unironically I have a solution to this - Encourage young women to also read Lolita by Nabokov in addition to these books.

[drbtinglecannon]

The plot of Scott Pilgrim Takes Off is actually better than original plot, by a large margin

[dykedvonte]

thinking abt what you said with house viewing Benny as a son and I’m obsessed. Like. The man spent most of his life before the war presumably alone, and then after the bombs fell he was alone again, save for AI he himself devised. Then he decides to pull in some Tribes, and one kid shows promise! So sure, treat him well, train him, groom him to be his protege, then next thing you know UH OH he’s got developing paternal feelings towards this guy. Wanting some semblance of a family when the time has long since passed, yet fostering that feeling all the same seems so accurate for him. Benny meanwhile only views him as a boss, and not a particularly good one at that. makes me wonder how House must’ve felt when he found out about Bennys plans

I view it as House blames only himself for this, cause he kind of does in canon (strap in this is a long one).

When reflecting on the issue of Benny, House chastises himself first and foremost for not acting quickly enough when it comes to priming Benny. He describes Benny as being ambitious, ruthless and capable; compliments coming from a man like House. House has an ego and while he is logical enough to understand there was never any evidence Benny saw him as a father-figure, he lacks the humility to admit he let his own views on his relationship with Benny blind him to the activities happening behind the scenes.

I doubt that House was as aware as he makes out about what Benny was doing, he knew early on but certainly not early enough to stop Benny from hacking and obtaining a securitron along with getting the chip in the first place. I take it he was distracted by all the possibilities he was calculating of Vegas' success and growth with him steering and Benny as the new figure head, not because of any normal affection for Benny but the admiration of his capabilities. It's to be noted that House believed menial incentives (likely caps, booze, basic needs, etc..) were enough to keep Benny tame like the other Chairmen but, as evidenced by the Omertas and Mortimer in the WGS, this is not enough when it comes to more driven Vegas citizens. This implies he still undervalued Benny and created a space in which Benny felt the need to rebel.

House in my eyes is not sentimental in the traditional sense. I can imagine his pride was severely scorned as someone he certainly deemed dumber than him was, albeit only for a little, able to out-gambit him. It would definitely hit home seeing how his brother also betrayed him but I feel like that's why he's so apathetic when he tells the Courier to do as they see fit with Benny. I doubt the way he terrorized his brother brought him any emotional satisfaction other than a "Now who's in charge!" ego boost. Putting that same emotional intensity towards Benny isn't worth it because who does it benefit? Wasted time, wasted planning, and most importantly wasted potential are all he gets from continuing to be hands-on with Benny. I say the closest example is not being able to throw out old toys due to the memories attached but knowing it's necessary as they are broken or just taking up space for new ones, and then asking someone else to do it so you don't need to get caught up in the feelings of throwing something you put so much effort into. It's not Benny House cares about in my mind, not in a way that sounds healthy to any non-emotionally constipated individual, but what he could've represented for him, which is why he so quickly offers the same position to the Courier.

As for Benny's view on all of this, it was a long time coming. Benny didn't and doesn't believe House is a completely shitty boss. He admires what he's been shown and admits House knows how to run the strip, but disagrees with the directions. Ideologically, House is an anarcho-capitalist while Benny is just an anarchist. House wants to run the strip to profit, though money is not what he's concerned with being rich with anymore. Benny wants a free state that he wishes to become a place for the people, except for the Chairmen who would be on top (I like to remind people that Benny's motives were selfish but not for personal gain/power as was it for the people he actually saw as family). Benny was never looking for a father but a future. He was not interested in being adopted, or having the chairmen adopted, as bigger names still overshadowed in House's legacy.

Truly, it's easiest to summarize as House feeling strongly and thinking positively enough of Benny to start incorporating him into the future of Vegas (a huge honor actually) while Benny was so disillusioned by House's ego and indifference that he thought the only way Vegas could be the future is with House gone.

[popcorn-plots]

"Master Wong is cheating on you."

Stephen looked up to see America staring at him with wide eyes. Stephen blinked. "What?"

"Master Wong... he's cheating on you."

"And... how did you... come up with that?" Stephen asked, pressing his bookmark into the pages. He closed the book and set it down as America swallowed.

"I saw him and Master Stark kissing. Yesterday. And two days ago, you were kissing Master Wong." America whispered.

It took Stephen a second to realize what was happening. America nearly jumped out of her skin when Stephen burst out laughing.

"Cheating? Nah." Stephen finally choked out. America's eyebrows furrowed as Stephen wiped away a tear.

"Then what..."

"Alright, America. Me and Master Wong are married, yes?"

"Uh... yeah."

"Well... I am also engaged to Master Stark."

"Huh?" America tilted her head. "How does that work?"

Stephen chuckled. "Well. I love Wong. I also love Tony. I love both of them, so I decided to marry both of them."

"Then why did Master Wong kiss Master Stark?"

"Because Master Wong and Master Stark love each other. And they both love me. Does that make sense?"

America frowned. "I... guess so. But isn't that cheating?"

Stephen hummed. "No. Not in this case. You see, cheating is what happens when someone... breaks the rules. If I was only married to Master Wong and then I kissed Master Stark without telling Master Wong, then I would be cheating." America still looked kind of confused. "Its like... playing a game and not following the rules."

America nodded. "Then... Master Wong knows you kiss Master Stark?"

"Yes. Me, Wong, and Master Stark have a polyamourous relationships. It's when someone has more than one romantic partner at the same time, but everyone knows about it and agrees."

"So... you and Master Wong and Master Stark..."

"Agreed on the rules before we started playing a game. So everyone knows what's going on." Stephen explained.

America folded her arms. "That makes sense."

"Good. Do you have any more questions?"

"I.. I don't think so."

Stephen smiled and picked up his book. "Good. If you do have any questions, you can always ask me."

"Okay. Thank you, Master Strange!"

"Of course. Goodbye, America." Stephen smiled, waving back as America giddily ran out of his office.

[lakesbian]

oh that would make more sense than the "general character relationships" way i interpreted it. it is so funny he includes "assault and battery" on that list when worm (inappropriately) gives them a romcom enemies to lovers tone. note that he also includes parian & foil and dragon & defiant on the list of couples with power imbalances, which i agree with--parian and foil is generally bland, but there's clear playing with power dynamics in the chapter where they get together, and the same can be said for dragon & defiant's mutual modification. if he finds the parian-and-foil or dragon-and-defiant level of power dynamic notable enough to put them on this list, then sy and jessie should more than qualify for appealing to him in that way, for reasons elaborated on in an earlier rb. it remains ridiculous to state that jessie suddenly succumbing to downright classic transmisogynistic writing after her transition is a mere coincidence in light of all of wildbow's other handling of lgbt characters. especially because he does literally write plenty of cute and romantic scenes between sy and lillian; the reason the imbalance between them is interesting is because their relationship is convincing.

it also really needs to go with saying that the type of power dynamic matters--it doesn't matter that he writes het pairs with power imbalances as well, when the het pairs are almost entirely along the lines of "they loved each other but xyz differential didn't work out" (sy/lillian, taylor/brian) or "there's little odd bits around a healthy core that give the relationship texture" (blake/green eyes, dragon/defiant) and it's the gay people that broadly happen to be the outright sexual predators and violating or corrupting forces. it's true that there are obvious trends in wildbow's work informed by him not caring about romance, and it's also true that, within those trends, he's still capable of writing meaningful romantic scenes, and it's also very true that, within both of those trends, LGBT people demonstrably receive the short end of the stick in ways that line up with extremely common bigoted tropes. he'd like it if it wasn't prejudice informing the choices, but it definitely is. aromantic or not, there's no excuse to write a trans woman like he did, and the onus is on him for failing to confront the obvious transmisogynistic bias behind it. there's a reason why jessie is the one lamb other than helen & the boys that sy never shows attraction to, and it's not that wildbow didn't want to write their Healthy Romance, it's that he just straight up does not comprehend trans women as viable partners.

ok so im not at all interested in doing Wildbow Apologism and i acknowledge that this take might be extremely charitable to wb so take it as you will. but one thing i did think about while going through your twig lb and the parts about sy's relationship with jessie feeling bland and underdeveloped compared to with lillian, is the part in his Ward retrospective where he talks about how he "tend[s] to find the power imbalances in relationships to be one of the more inherently interesting parts of relationships" and how thats why many of the relationship dynamics he writes play into that and why those relationships tend to get more focus. which does make sense when you think about how his writing of Healthy and Equal relationships virtually always feels bland and underdeveloped (see: dragon & defiant, foil & parian, probably a bunch of others i cant think of right now). so i do idly wonder how much that might have factored into the discrepancy there

youre making excuses for him yeah. no, the author who successfully wrote relationships like taylor/rachel, aisha/alec, blake/evan, blake/green eyes, and so on and so forth, did not lose interest in a character (who he had previously given massive focus to developing sy's relationship with) the literal second she came out because he was "less interested in their healthy relationship." he's just transphobic. do you hear yourself. also do you recognize how it's dumb to cherrypick a shallow and uninteresting lesbian relationship from a well-known homophobe's work as being a demonstration of him making healthy relationships underdeveloped. come on now.

[raining-its-pouring]

"He wants to be known outside of Moon’s shadow but makes little to no effort (that we know of) talking to the larger iterator population outside of anonymous chat rooms" is a bit of a self-contradictory statement itself, don't you think?

I can’t tell if you’re agreeing with me or not, but I wasn’t trying to say that he completely rejects all company or anything. That specific point was meant to highlight how he wants to establish himself outside of Moon’s shadow, but doesn’t seem to take the steps to make connections as his actual self. Part of that is because he’s discussing taboo ideas, but considering it seems to be the only contact he makes (outside of SRS) to the wider iterator population, it doesn’t seem like they know Five Pebbles that much at all. They don’t know anything about him outside of what he shares as himself (which is very little) and the fact that he’s connected to Moon. Which only serves to keep him in Moon’s shadow.