fate2716

[fate2716]

Enid: What in the actual hell is wrong with you!?

Wednesday: ...

Wednesday: *pulls out ridiculously long and color coded list*

Wednesday: I've been waiting my entire life for somebody to ask me that question, mi amor.

~~~~

Yoko: really?! That's how you two started dating?!

Enid: You didn't see the way she smiled when she got to the pyromania section! What else was I meant to do?!

Yoko: Call the police?!

[fate2716]

During an investigation in the woods, Wednesday and Bianca hunt for clues with a leashed Enid in wolf form.

Wolf Enid: *leads while sniffing*

Bianca: Isn’t this demeaning?

Wednesday: Requiring your assistance as a third pair of eyes? Yes, it is.

Bianca: No, bitch, the leash.

Wednesday: Ah. It is an unfortunate necessity.

Wolf Enid: *ears perk*

Bianca: Seriously? Enid is an intelligent werewolf and your girlfriend, not some dumb dog. It’s not like she’s gonna run off.

Wednesday: *shoots Enid a glance*

Wolf Enid: *tail tucks*

Wednesday: I have my reasons.

Wolf Enid: *sheepish* Growf.

— On a previous investigation. —

Wednesday: Enid, don’t you DARE! That corpse is evidence! EVIDENCE!!

Wolf Enid:

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Wednesday: Betrayal. And by the one whom is supposed to be my closest ally. Now I see where your loyalties truly lie.

Enid: ...Babe, this isn't about loyalty, it's just that it would be, like, super illegal for me to use my wolf form to threaten the sherif into dropping all 22 of your felony charges.

Wednesday: What I'm hearing is that chivalry is dead and you don't love me

Enid: ...

Enid: *Sigh*

Enid: *transforms*

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Enid: *dances around her room alone*

Enid: 🎶 What is love? 🎶

Enid: 🎶 Oh baby, don’t hurt me— 🎶

Enid: 🎶 Don’t hurt me— 🎶

Enid: 🎶 No more! 🎶

Wednesday: *from behind Enid* My apologies.

Enid: *shrieks and stumbles*

Wednesday: *downcast* I was… unaware you felt that way.

Enid: Wh-What?

Wednesday: I shall banish myself from our—no, your room—until you find it within yourself to forgive me.

Wednesday: *picks up BDSM trunk and leaves*

Enid: *processing*

Enid: Oh that stupid freaking— IT WAS JUST A SONG! COME BACK! *chases after Wednesday*

— Moments later, outside in the courtyard. —

Bianca: And this is Ophelia Hall, winners of the last annual Poe Cup. You can read about the exciting event on page seven of our broch—

The doors to Ophelia Hall burst open as Wednesday strides out and past Bianca’s tour group.

Enid: *frantically follows* Baby, hurt me more! I really mean it! PLEASE!

Bianca and tour group:

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Wednesday: did you get the dozen eggs, like I asked you to?

Enid:

Yoko:

Wednesday: what

Enid: We got something even BETTER

Wednesday:

Yoko: *holds up a chicken*

Enid: Her name's Henny Penny Addams

Wednesday:

We all know that Wednesday accepted Henny Penny as her own child

[fate2716]

Wednesday: Did you eat all the powdered sugar donuts?

Enid: *mouth full of donuts* Uhm. Mno?

Wednesday: Then what's all that white powder on your face?

Enid:

Enid: Cocaine?

[fate2716]

Random Wenclair headcanon inspired by recent fanart

Wednesday is gonna buy Enid a Polaroid camera. Just cause she loves that wolf to death. Enid is gonna document all their special anniversaries and bdays and outings with each other and friends and have a whole section of wall in their dorm room to post the Polaroid pics. Wednesday rolls her eyes every time Enid takes a pic but inside she fucking loves it and goes to look at the pictures and smiles and reminisces when Enid isn’t in their room 🥰🖤🩷

[fate2716]

Wednesday playing with Kitty the Lion.

Enid: Wednesday, that is- that’s a predator.

Wednesday, with the most childish smile on her face: He’s not a predatorb

Kitty the Lion chuffs happily as Wednesday continues to mes with his ears.

Enid: Oh my god.

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Enid: So like—I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about saying who it is, because none of you are going to like it

Yoko: Girl, just rip the bandage off.

Enid: It’s Wednesday.

Yoko: *stands*

Divina: *begins weeping*

Bianca: *rubs Divina’s back*

Enid: *confused* What’s going—

Yoko: We are gathered here today to honor and celebrate the life of Enid Sinclair—

Enid: 😦

Yoko: —which was cut tragically short when she fucked up and got down bad for Psycho Bitch Sailor Doom.

Enid:

Enid: OH COME ON!!

Divina: It’s… it’s like she’s still here. *sobs*

Bianca: I miss her too, Div. I miss her too.

Enid: 🤬

[fate2716]

Bianca: What’s wrong with Xavier this time?

Wednesday: He is suffering from comphem.

Bianca: Uh—no. That boy is actual factual straight. Nothing compulsory about it. And why the heck would he be in the infirmary for that?

Wednesday: I said comphem, not comphet.

Bianca: The fuck is that?

Wednesday: Compulsory hemorrhaging.

Bianca:

Bianca: What?

Wednesday: *matter-of-factly* Society pressures him to bleed profusely.

Bianca: Society.

Wednesday: Precisely.

Bianca: Does this ‘society’ happen to be a five foot three blonde with hair dyed like Harley Quinn and a possessive streak wider than the fucking Amazon River?

Wednesday: Whatever are you implying?

Bianca: Bitch, I’m—

Enid: *runs up* Willa, where’s the spare bleach?!

Wednesday: My closet, right wall, second shelf from the bottom, next to the Luminol.

Enid: Thank, babe! *kisses Wednesday’s cheek*

Wednesday: *merely nods*

Enid: Oh hi, B! Bye, B! *scampers off*

Bianca:

Wednesday:

Bianca: *smirks*

Wednesday: *glares* What is it?

Bianca: It uh—looks like society left some pink lip gloss— *points* —on your cheek.

Wednesday: *sighs* Society is quite, shall we say, compulsively homosexual.

Bianca:

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Enid: Okay, babe, truth or dare?

Wednesday: Truth.

Enid: How are you planning to murder my mom?

Wednesday:

Wednesday: Dare.

Enid: Don’t murder my mom.

Wednesday: I loath this game.

[fate2716]

When your brother knows you are a gay for your roommate.

[fate2716]

Between Morticia and Gomez, it's when she speaks French that he gets all silly and has to shower his wife with kisses.

Among the wenclair I don't know if it would be a specific language, I think Enid would growl or show her claws to intimidate someone, and that would be it! How would Wednesday resist?

She'll have to kiss her werewolf all over, there's no other way.

What if Enid purrs?!

Poor Wednesday...

She's going to give Enid whatever she wants at this point, I don't even blame her. If your wife purred at you, you would do the same.

[fate2716]

I put the Parks & Rec codename meme to a template. Here's an example, using my Wednesday Addams ships (plus a BroTP and a NoTP):

A key:

Eagle One: The character in question

BTDT: Either a ship from a previous incarnation or one from the past (in this case, the former)

CDT: Either a ship from a more recent incarnation or the one you ship for the present (again, the former)

It happened once…: One-sided; use the asterisk to indicate on whom's part (so, yes; I'm saying Amanda has an unrequited crush on Wednesday — one which she will deny, by the way)

If I had to pick…: For any other acceptable ships/any ships with a character of a different gender than you usually ship the character with (Joel is the ONLY acceptable male LI for Wednesday!)

Eagle Two: BroTP (such as literal siblings)

I'd be lying…: Crackship (hear me out…)

Broke It: NoTP (or, at least, one of them)

Three transparent templates under the cut.

[fate2716]

Bianca: Whose bright idea was it to douse her with a whole damn cauldron of INVERSION elixir?!

Yoko: I thought it’d make her nicer, not bigger!

Bianca: Bigger?! Bitch, she’s a freakin’ KAIJU!!

The two girls shriek in terror as a MASSIVE platform boot SLAMS into the earth, narrowly missing them.

“Ah— Apologies, short stacks, I did not see you there.”

Bianca/Yoko: 😱😱

“Need help reaching the top shelf? Or perhaps a lift?”

Bianca/Yoko: 🤨😦

Yoko: Huh. Maybe she is nicer.

Bianca: Speaking of nicer, where the heck is Enid?

Yoko: *points way up towards the top of Wednesday’s head*

Enid: *clinging to Wednesday’s hair* Willazilla! Go step on Xavier’s shack!!

“As you wish, mi lobitita.”

Enid: *cackles maniacally* Yeah! Just eff his shit up! Wheeeee! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

[fate2716]

Wednesday can't even say that her type is different from the family, since Enid is all colorful. Wednesday's type is like her uncle's type, Uncle Fester. I can even imagine Morticia saying once again when she sees their house: Pastel? At least it will be pastel gothic, but pastel will be present, a lot of pink.

I miss crazy Debbie, too.

[fate2716]

Wednesday: We need more help. I think we should call my friends.

Bianca: Did she say friends?

Eugene: Uh Wednesday what are you talking about? All your friends are in this room.

Wednesday: You told me to make new friends. I made new friends. I was given a task. I complete tasks.

Enid: *gasp* You listened to me? I'm so proud of you!!

Enid: Do you like them better than me???