fate2716

[fate2716]

Wednesday Addams loves Enid Sinclair.

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Enid, crying: You're killing them!

Wednesday, as she is vacuum sealing Enid's plushies: Mi Sole if you want them all to fit in the hearse at once we have to do this or send them through the post and you said you don't want them to be alone on a plane or get lost in customs.

Enid, still crying: But they can't breathe!

Wednesday, as she takes another large bag to seal: They don't breathe, my love, they will be fine.

Enid, sobbing: You're suffocating them!

Wednesday, under her breath: And you will be next...

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Wednesday proposes to Enid.

Wednesday is stood watching Enid as she's going on a literal ten minute ramble about something passionate.

"...and then Yoko said she agreed with her, like can you believe her!? Honestly, maybe I should stick her in some bat broth soup!-"

Wednesday has been watching her pace up and down in their dorm, with ever softening eyes, her throat bobbing with emotion coursing through her.

"-That'll teach her for siding with her, that fanged hoe!" Enid growls. "First, we-"

"Marry me." Wednesday mutters softly.

Enid halts mid-step. "...What?" Enid's eyes are wide and glistening.

Wednesday glances down towards the floor in a rare uncharacteristic display of shyness before finding the courage of an Addams.

"Marry me, you utter fool..." She reaches out and drags Enid into her personal space making Enid squeak.

"...I cannot take anymore of your incessant rambling, the way you wring your hands as you do it, of your hair that threatens to blind me everytime I look at it or how you threaten to tear my heart asunder in two when you wake up with ruffled hair and looking like a grumpy kitten without you being betrothed to me, I can't take it anymore."

"But... I'm dating Ajax..." Enid protests weakly.

"Then I will scribe the invitations in his blood, freshly sourced from his preserved corpse as my first act of devotion to you." Wednesday growls.

Enid begins to almost vibrate on the spot in excitement.

"So... are we having Summer or Winter ceremony?" Enid asks with a grin.

Wednesday merely smirks.

(If we dont get this proposal in canon then I don't want it! JK I would take any "Cries")

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Bianca: What is... what is Addams doing?

Yoko: She has a vendetta against the Sun...

Bianca:

Bianca: I'm going to regret asking this... but why?

Yoko: Because it dared to shine brighter than Enid.

Wednesday: (Staring at the sun) Fight me, you lil bitch

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Wednesday telling Enid she swore off dating this semester right after Enid realizes she's a lesbian and into her 🙂‍↕️

Enid trying to move on and attempting to date girls for the first time and Wednesday being jealous but forcing herself to focus on the case instead 🙃

[fate2716]

Wednesday: Enid.

Enid: *nervously turns around* Uh. Yes, babe?

Wednesday: Did you perchance enter the Hummer’s shed during last night’s full moon?

Enid: What? Why ah… why would you ask that?

Wednesday: *blank stare*

Enid: 😬

Wednesday: *stare intensifies*

Enid: 😰

Wednesday: *serious sustained blank stare*

Enid: 😖

Enid: Fine! It was me! I did it! I broke into the Hummer’s shed and ate like the whole dang stash of super secret treats!

Wednesday: *squints*

Enid: BUT in my defense, you shouldn’t even be hiding tasty tasty snacks from your hungry werewolf girlfriend—

Wednesday: Specimens.

Enid: —in the first place!

Enid: 😤

Enid: 🤨

Enid: Say again?

Wednesday: Those were specimens, mi lobita. I would never conceal treats from you.

Enid: *horrified squeak* Specimens?

Wednesday: *nods*

Enid: 😨

Enid: Um. What kind of specimens?

Wednesday: 😑

Wednesday: 😒

Wednesday: 🤔

Wednesday: The kind that would cause you the least amount of moral anguish and lasting psychological trauma. Obviously.

Enid: 😱

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Yoko: So, for reals now, have you ever seen her blink?

Enid: Oh! She doesn’t blink.

Yoko: Ever?

Enid: Ever. Her eyelids are like totally decorative. They’re just there for her gorgeous lashes to take root.

Yoko: 🤨

Yoko: Right. Aside from that disturbing mental image, what does she do to keep her peepers from shriveling up?

Enid: Why don’t you see for yourself? *points behind Yoko*

Yoko: What? *turns to look*

Wednesday: *stands there, moistening her eyeballs*

Yoko: 😐

Yoko: 😑

Yoko: 😐

Yoko: I don’t know what else I was expecting.

Wednesday:

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*Me reading AO3 tags* "No one dies." Okay but what about emotionally? Do I die emotionally?!

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Enid: Divina?

Wednesday: Pass.

Enid: Huh. Okay, how about Yoko?

Wednesday: Smash.

Enid: *stares* Are you being for reals?

Wednesday: When am I not?

Enid: Wow. I did not expect that one. Um… Kent?

Wednesday: Smash, I suppose.

Enid: 😟

Enid: Ajax?

Wednesday: Smash.

Enid: 😨

Enid: *worriedly* Xavier?

Wednesday: With all certainty, smash.

Enid: 😱

Enid: What about… what about me…?

Wednesday: *intense stare* As if there could be any answer other than pass.

Enid: 🫢

Enid: 😭

Enid: *runs off sobbing*

Wednesday: *stares after Enid*

Wednesday: Thing, attend to Enid and ascertain what is troubling her—

Thing: 👍

Wednesday: —while I get started on her requests.

Thing:

Thing: *questioning gesture*

Wednesday: A game? Ridiculous. That was obviously Enid’s cutesy version of a hit list. Now see to my wolf. I have smashing to do.

Wednesday: *hefts a medieval war club and storms away*

Thing: 👋

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Bianca: So how is Enid handling the TikTok ban?

Wednesday: Fine, as I found her an adequate replacement.

Bianca: Yeah? Is it RedNote? Instagram Reels? YouTube Shorts?

Wednesday: *shakes her head* Cursed family heirloom.

Bianca: *squints* Cursed?

Wednesday: It is an enchanted mirror fashioned from a shard of oneiric glass and polished by Nyx herself.

Wednesday: Upon gazing into it, the possessor is made witness to an endless deluge of humiliating and often degrading nightmares, each freshly experienced by dreamers across the world.

Wednesday: In exchange, the artifact sups upon the accursed’s willpower and energy, potentially trapping them in a state indiscernible from the deepest hypnosis—

Wednesday: —and often requiring physical intervention from another to free them from that ignoble fate.

Bianca:

Bianca:

Bianca: So just like TikTok.

Wednesday: *nods* Just like TikTok. Now hand me that crowbar— I have a girlfriend to liberate.

[fate2716]

Pre-Wenclair. Erstwhile-ish rivals chat as they prepare to fence.

Bianca: Sleepover? Addams, you two share the same damned room. Every night is a sleepover.

Wednesday: I had assumed the same, until Enid informed me of an alternate meaning of the term that is specific to individuals classified as Besties.

Bianca: Excuse me?

Wednesday: In this context, one bestie sleeps over, while the other sleeps under.

Bianca:

Bianca: Uh… over what? Under what?

Wednesday: Each other, obviously.

Bianca: 😐

Bianca: And you don’t think this means she likes you?

Wednesday: Of course I don’t. This is merely another remarkably devious ploy of hers. As they say, keep your enemies closer.

Bianca: 😦

Wednesday: So close, in fact, that she could gut me with those nauseatingly perfect claws of hers, like a machete through a plump tamal...

Wednesday: *glares dreamy daggers across the room at Enid*

Enid: 🫰🥰

Bianca: 🤦

[fate2716]

Me usually: I think it's great that everyone has their own unique taste in things, life would be boring if we all liked the same things, it's okay for people to dislike the things I like, there's no reason to get defensive about it :) :) :)

Me when an internet stranger expresses a small amount of distaste for a ship I like: now hold the fUCKING PHONE what the fUCK how can you tHINK THAT what is wRONG WITH YOU find jESUS have you no mEDIA LITERACY what the fUCK?!?!?!?!

[fate2716]

addams genes be strong

(Bonus under the cut)

[fate2716]

Got commissioned by @silver-soul00 for the wenclair version of this :3 (thank you so muchhh) og thing by the_angler_mann on twitter

[fate2716]

Pre-Wenclair. A conversation taking place between Crackstone’s defeat and the students going home.

Yoko: So the Hug™. I think we can all agree that it was an iconic moment. Unexpected, inspiring? heartwarming… ALL that shit. Thinking about it still gives me chills.

Divina: Mood.

Bianca: I hate to agree, but I feel you.

Yoko: Like—it’s miracle we didn’t all break out in a slow clap. That queer energy was phenomenally out of pocket.

Yoko: Hell, it was so freaking perfect that Ajax didn’t even mind that he probably lost his girl!

Ajax: Yo, that ship be sailin’ and I’m not even mad.

Yoko: That said, and at risk of being a certified bitch, I’m gonna have to point out that the Hug™ was also—

Yoko: *shouts across Quad* —THREE DAYS AGO!

The group turn in unison to look at the roommates in question, who are still embraced. Same clothes. Same grime. Same hug.

Wednesday/Enid: 😐😳

Divina: I hear nurses can’t even get near them without getting cut.

Bianca: No lie, those two are goddamn rank.

Ajax: Dude, how do they even pee?

Yoko: In the words of Elsa, LET IT GO ALREADY! YOU BITCHES BE GROSS!

Wednesday/Enid: 🖕😑☺️

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Enid: Just remember, it costs zero dollars to be nice.

Wednesday holding a giant sack of gold: How much does it cost to be an asshole?

Enid:

Wednesday: Just curious.

[fate2716]

“I don’t understand shippers” me neither. I don’t understand my own inability to consume media without allowing two fictional characters who stared at each other a little too long that one time to completely take over my brain.