#is not ever spelled feeelings

[clownsnake]

Lmao junghyeok left dokja out of the sixth scenario team bc he thought he was in wuv & didn’t want to have him risk his life when WUV was on the line. lol. lmao even

[mysicklove]

HERE'S MY EMOJI BOBOBEAR 🫧 A BUBBLE lol I think your gonna recognize me anyway bc I colored my text blueeeee (I like it idk) this took me sooooo long to decide what emoji I want ^_^ I chose this emoji bccccccc I like showering and brushing my teeth (I have a sweet tooth sooo I can't skip a day without brushing my teeth or else it would rot lmao) I was gonna chose a cat emoji but idk I decide not to <3<3 I'm gonna stop now before I tell you my whole life story hehe

(help halfway of typing this I forgot how to spell chose/choose gosh I'm so bad at spelling >:( )

-🫧

i love the blue, its so cute!!

and omg i feeel u, i have suchhhhh a sweet tooth it is so bad LOLOL. i also love the 😸 emoji, it is my fav ever

ILY!!

[sharky-the-idiot]

elphaba,shUT U P!

FIRST OF ALL

I can't hArBOuR a fUgiTiVe, i am an

✨unelected official✨

and why SHOULD I help you?

you flyyy around oz trying to rescue

Animals 🙄🙄🙄🙄

you've nEvER even mEt

and not ONCE have you ever thought to use your pOWeRs to rescue ME!

ALLL of my life, I've depended on you!

HOWwwWw do you think that feeels?

all of my life, I've depended on youu

And this hIDeoUs chair with wheeEeels

S c r o u n g i n g for scraps of p i t y to pick up

and l o ngi ng to kiCK UP my heeeeeeeeeeeeeels

Nessa, there isn't a ✨spell✨ for everything The... the ✨power✨ is ✨mysterious✨, it not like ✨cobbling up✨ a pair of... ✨WAIT!✨

✨Ambulahn Dare Pahto Pahpoot✨

What are you doing????

✨Ambulahn Dasca Caldapess✨

What does that M E A N?????

✨Lahfenahto Lahfenahtum✨ ✨Pede Pede Caldapess✨ ✨Ambulahn Dare✨ ✨Pahto Pahpoot✨ ✨Lahfenahto Lahfenahtum✨ ✨Pede Pede Caldapess✨

OHH! My sHOEs! They feel like they're on fiYAH! What have you done to my shoOOOOOESS?

....

N O ! No, don't help me >:(

Oh ✨NeSsa✨, at last!!!! i've done what ✨long ago✨ I should And ✨finally✨ from these ✨powers✨ something ✨good✨ f i n a l l y somethinggg ✨good✨-

B O Q

tiNgA liNg a LiNG

bOQQQQQQ, COME QUICKLY

yes, what is it, madam governor--

YOUU U!

BrAnDisHeS KnIfE

sTAAAYYYY baCK

boq, it's mE i'm not going to hurt you-

you're L YY Y I NG

THAT'S ALL YOU DO

YOU AND YOUR SISTER

SHE IS AS

W I C K E D

AS YOU ARE

boq, what are you talking about???

i'm talking about my LIFE

..the little that's left of it

i'm not FREE to leave MuNchKiNLaNd :"(

n o n e of us are <//3

ever since s h e took power, she's been

STRIPPING THE MUNCHKINS

of our

rights

..and we didn't have that many to begin with :///

and do you.

know.

why

to keep you here with me :)

but NONE of tHaT matters anymore!!

l o o k

(✨l e g s✨)

......

...you... did this for her?

For BOTH of us!

oh n e s s a......

this changes EVERYTHING :"D

I know :)

nessa!

Yes? :)

oh n e s s a...... SURELY now i'll matter lessss to youuu and you won't mind my

😍😍🥰😍LEAVING HERE😍🥰😍😍

toniiIIiiIIght,,

l eA V IN G--??

Y E S 🥰😍🥰😍🥰😍

that bAlL that's being staged announcing

G l i n d a

is enGAGEDDD

To FIIIIIYYEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOO

G L I N D A ? ? ?

yes nessa!

,,,that's right

i've GOT to go appeeeeal to herrr, express the way I feeeeeel for herrrrr

..n e s s a, I

lost my heart

to Galinda from the moment I first saw her.

....you know that

.................

..lost your heart?

wellll, we'll sEe about thaaaat

✨ n e s s a✨ , let him ✨ go✨

did you think i'd let you lEAVE ME HERE FLAT???

D O N 'T COME ANY CLOSER-

YOU'RE GOINGT O

LOSE YOUR HEART

TO MEEEE, I TELL YOU

IF I HAVE TO--

...i have to...

..mAgiC sPeLl yOu

aH... tUmM---

n e s s a, ✨ no✨ , it's ✨ dangerous.✨

cORe,, tUM?

what's she doing?

AH TUM

You're ✨ pronouncing the words✨ all ✨ wrong✨ ...

TAH,,, taYK-

i'm warning you!! don't try to stop me--!

oh!

✨ oh no✨

n e s s a !!11!!1!!!!

B O Q

what is it?????

myyyyy h ea rt...

..it feels...

it feels like it's shRinKiiiIIIIIING-!

Oh, ELPHABA, do something!!

I ✨can't✨. You can't ✨reverse✨ a ✨spell✨ once it's been ✨cast✨

Then what do we do?! This is all

YOUR FAULT!

If you had not shown me that

horrenible

b o o k -

i've ✨got to✨ find another ✨sPeLl✨. It's the ✨only thing✨ that might work

Save him

please

just save him

MY poor B O Q

mY sWeET, my bRaVe himMMmmM

Don't leave me

'til my sorry life has ceEEEeeased

ALONEEEEE and LOVELESS here

just the gurlll in the miIIIRRROR

Just her and me!

Wicked Witch

ooOOOOF thee

EEEEEEE-AAAAST!

...We deserve each other...

,,he's ✨asleep✨

G AS P

what about his H E A R T?

it's ✨alright✨..

he won't need one now.

i ✨have to go✨ to the ✨eMerALd CiTy✨

(✨DLINNN DENUNEHNUNUH✨)

what happened to those mOnKEyS is

✨MY FAULT✨

i've got to set them ✨free✨-

YOU'RE NOT GOING BACK THERE TO SAVE SOME

M ON K E YS

you're going to find

✨fIIiiIIIYEeeeeEEEEErrRRROOOOOOO✨

but it's too late >:(

ELPHABA P L E A S E

don't LEAVE HIM

i have done ✨everything i could✨ for ✨you✨

and it hasn't been enough

and ✨nothing✨ ever will be.

elphaba wait--

E L P H A B A

grUUguguuuAHHJJHJJhgghhhHHg

...where am i...?

......

what happened?

umM... ✨nOtHiNG✨!

you just felll asleeeep-

ZSCHWOMMMM

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-

WHAT IS IT?? WHAT'S WRONG???

ITWASN'TME ITWAS

H E R

ITRIEDDDTOSTOPHER--

wh-- aaAAAAAAAAAUGHH-

BOQ, PLEASE-- I STILl--...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGGGHHHH--

IT WAS

ELPHABA,

BOQ!

IT WAS

ELPHABAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(okay i lied i wasn't done)

erm so uhh erm erm uh uh uhhhh I dunno how to respond so mwa <3 /p

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

10.31.23 Tuesday

12:41 am

Done,washing my clothes....Still, have S-bones pain, I really feel bitter for not having SEX for 16 years...

I feel fat again, ugly old & wrinkled... I'm worrying so much, what will happen to my future???

I still feel JEALOUS on things that I don't know!Thinking of money and job ....Whew!!!

3:20 am

I gained... Grrr... I have to diet again....I ate lately... I feel stress and bitterish...

I hate gaining more than 4 kgs.... Sometimes it feels weird, sometimes I feel that there is magic spell on me. I need to lose weight again... I feel that there is magic spell on me sometimes I was really skinny then few days will be chubby and chubbier...

One of the reasons I still wanna keep my old clothes to check my weight if I'm gaining beyond my limit...

I still have windblow and my mind is still on my job and I need money...

I really do feel fat, ugly and old... I'm not happy being stuck this way... I wanna go out and buy starbucks hang-out and see people. Hoping to meet new people who will really like me, but I'm extra careful on women...

I still want a black penis? So that there will be no anxiety for me,if ever... But I want someone who will respect my vanity...

12:06 noon

I have to diet but I just dwell on this Java Rice for awhile and it is all gone now... hahah... Lingering the yellow rice for quite some time...

I have to diet again angels... I just really wanna do my abs and trim my waist line. Oh! By the way I have this mood that I love to eat then I will have this panicky of gaining beyond my weight limit...

But I really hate dieting without eating coz I lost energy... I love dieting and dwelling on the tread mill for 45 minutes to 1 hour... I had a lot of energy way back without pelvic pain coz I had sex in routine schedule....

But now I lost my gym life and all of a sudden a day came into me that I had this pelvic or S-bones pain coz of losing my sex routine for 16 years and I feel bitter and I feel super ugly... I lost my creamy skin as well...

12:24 noon

My next challenge I really wanna do my split again and basics tumbling before turning 50... I have to really stretch my inner thigh muscle and my legs muscle... Hoping I can go back to gym coz I feel bitter...

I feel bitter and bitter and bitter coz 16 years, aging for nothing...

I need to get a job as soon as possible coz I need money.

Will tell more about my SEX style... Wait I have to feed my son-dog...

1:15 pm

I feel bitter coz they just wanna copy my sex styles.

I feeel bitter that I'm losing the LIFE ( you know what I mean ) now and some group are well-prepared and they got my styles and they took away my future...

I feel so ugly!!! I feel fat and old and wrinkled ... I hate Cavite for taking away my sex styles!!!

1:23 pm

This is just a past story: Ohkay!!!

About my SEX, a lot of people the younger kids judged me coz I had sexed there, here, there on opposite side and some hotel and I rented a space actually it was supposed to be a house but that time I want secluded place coz my X partner who was a seaman that time was gone for straight a year and half....

The windblow came into my life year 2007 but I couldn't remember the exact month... My Xpartner who was a seaman ohkay Ryan is the name, the one from Kalibo, Aklan... So, our relationship was really a kind of Love at first sight thingy, coz I wanted sex that time and I'm looking for job and I just met him on the dead platform. So, we were almost going to 4 years... Once you are in-love SEX automatic... Time came that he went out already for almost 1 and half year....I was just in Cebu Pacific Air I was really sad coz I had no sexmate and my bf an almost more than a bf was on the shore for straight a year and half... I miss our SEX adventure so much and it was a ride that I've learned a lot but there was love involved of course.

The point here when the time that this Ryan came from shore after a year and half... I rented a room here and I was a lasalista and though I was already a college graduate though I was a "late bloomer" to be with the bunches of lasalites or people who got elite view but sometimes went to the mud or inside the trash can coz of being we are Lasalista or we are kids from the middle-class we don't care at all!!!

God has reasons he didn't put me in UST coz probably I will fail on the discipline.. Just for an eye opener we have "hotel" inside the campus and I knew you can have sex there, not really sure but I think you can have sex there...

I failed the interview in UST coz of my background, my religion background... They are tigers and I became an artemis then I planned to wear my bonnet after 2 years, of course going to ilocos... Going to ilocos wearing my "bonnet"...

I want to have a "bonnet"... I will feel bitter if I can't have the "bonnet".

Bonnet means I will fuck him there in ilocos for symbolism clarification... Bonnet means you will fuck someone or steal something from someone. To clarify things...

Ohkay,let's go back to the "secluded place" that I rented for me and Ryan that time,the place were surrounded by teenagers apparently studying from De La Salle while having the windblow....I brought my small refrigerator that I used during my med school and brought our microwave as my acting to our future life... But I was not yet mature coz the windblow suddenly came into me... I got confusion and there were kids around us and I was shawty and I always look younger than my age... My X that time this Ryan looked like a bulky and big man that those kids probably were just curious about us and most specially me coz I look young...

Then, those kids thought that I'm gonna like them or I will appear as their age bracket coz as far as I can remember I got confuse on the windblow... As far as I can remember those kids were observing us and it seems curious about me or us...

My main point of renting a secluded place was for us to have a catch-up on our sex lives coz he told me there were so many beautiful brazilians on the shore who look like a barbie or mannequins even black girl who always wanted to fuck...

Me? I craved for SEX coz I was just focused on my work in Cebu Pacifuc Air for a year and half and I was a good gf meaning, I behaved...

Then, some of my workmates was shocked when I gave them an "eat all you can" in Barrio Fiesta I think we were 6 or 7, so 1k pesoses per head... I heard that they were talking about me that how will I pay for it??? I was just quiet, I had a bf on the shore... They were talking that they were just bf and gf, they meant me and Ryan. Deep inside me, huh?So, what?? The issue was how will I pay for it? I was just quiet... Me and Ryan had 69 and Jp and Me and Rocky and me..

I got a credit card way back...

My sixty niners will pay for that 6k or 7k hahaha... But I was just quiet.

The issue was "they are just bf and gf not yet married"...

That "secluded place" supposed to be a moment for us to grow... But I remember those kids were observing us...

My X-Ryan paid for the loan money that I got in Cebu Pacific Air hahaha The money was just blown by the wind...

It was a moment to comprehend everything... I had have no guilty emotion....

I was really wanted to go back as spoiled coz it is supposed to be my life....I had yaya and I feel frustrated to be in here in Cavite with my Uncle Jun....I'm not happy...

Not happy that George Eusebio still on the position... I hate his children so much for the fame and having lots of followers...

Now, I feel bitter... Nobody wants me now and I feel bitter....I wanna go back to where I was spoiled and can fuck and make a mess coz that's how spoiled should be doing...

2:38 pm

I really wanna leave the hometown... I don't have fundings yet...

Still, waiting for rewave from Iqor...Hopefully there is coz I hate commuting that far...

Now, I feel bitterish nobody wants me now... I don't know... I wanna go back to AF gym... I miss yoga, I wanna do my split again...

I need therapy for my S-bones/ Pelvic Pain or Sciatica/Priformis... A real sex can help, my partner should be sensitive on my pelvic these days... But I need a MRI and chiropractor for adjustment...

I feel bitter and ugly and fat and thinking of money...

I wanna do collagen on my feet,hands and down there.... I feel bitterish.... I wanna get botox on my "deep smile lines" and my nose perfection probably2x this is probably...I wanted to have a job and meet new people, my own group who take me as me... I hate immature group.

Friend will tell you the truth and a friend will defend you on your bashers if your bashers are too much...

3:17 pm

I feel bitter angels... I feel bitter... I'm so flat... I need money, job and I need pampering... I need to fix... I feel bitter!!!

7:48 pm

Done,eating dinner...Self-care routine...

Love mommy ha!

8:09 pm

I have complex in me on my twin my younger cute side and my wild side.... But I always love dogs so much....I love vanity as well...

I don't wanna dwell on my height coz this is me,angels... These days I can't be spoiled that is my main bitterness... We can't join dog show and I can't show myself... It is really bitterness...

8:35 pm

I really wanna join dog show... I really wanna get some botox... I wanna have a better life... Not this way so flat and plain...

I can't find a group here... I have windblow... People that I met lately can't be real on me...

Where can I find my fucking old friends???

I need a job coz I need to have money... I feel bullshit for men who didn't take me seriously lately...

I can't accept that dread-locks guy/ miles didn't fall for me even as a group... It is hard for me to accept it. I'm no longer spoiled I can't fight... I have windblow and I knew there are so many unfair things here in Cavite...

If I'm still spoiled I won't let it pass,that guy dread-locks guy or Miles must serve me like the way an old bf served me bang2x Brien...

What is that fucking 20/20!!! The 20/ 20 here!!!

I hate it, I hate dread-locks Miles for not falling for me....I had an imaginary bonnet!!! I feel bitter!!!

I feel bitter.. I need a group,I need a group who will take me as me and listen to me...

I feel bitter, I have windblow...

I feel bitter.... I can't make a group or make a big circle for something..

Serve me and be on my side...

I feel bitter dread-locks guy or Miles didn't like me even as a friend... Didn't take me.... I feel bitter for not being a spoiled these days....Plus, the 20/20 and that sand-dunes and some plastics!!!

I feel bitter for not having a solid group...

9:16 pm

I feel bitter I can't stay in Cavite... I still wanna group... I feel bitter someone is getting my crown... I wanna have friends angels...

I wanna have upper friends... I wanna make new friends, I hate women coz I must be the center... I don't like Jenesis, she is not my friend...

I chose women, I chose my gf's... I'm frustrated... I feel JEALOUS ON THINGS THAT I DON'T KNOW!

10:09 pm

I feel jealous on couple these days even on younger people coz they took away my maturity...

I feel jealous on things that I don't know! I feel jealous on sand-dunes ilocos and some plastics... I feel jealous coz they are happy and perfect!

I feel jealous on couple who are trying to treat me younger than them.

I FEEL JEALOUS ON YOUNGER WOMEN!

I feel jealous on things that I don't know!

11:30 pm

I feel jealous on things that I don't know...

It is over the number...

I feel bitter and I have windblow... I feel bitter here in Cavite!

[calleo-bricriu]

Why do I keep doing this?

It’s nearly over, there are fewer than 100 pages left in the horrid thing after this one.

((Oh also, these few chapter contain a hell of a lot of really casual racism mostly against Native Americans and whatever “half-breeds” are, because that’s not specified.))

Okay, chapter 18 starts with finding out that the stroke didn't kill Mother it did, of course, exactly what Mizpra wanted: Left her a mostly paralysed invalid.

Despite that, she's written as still being pretty mentally lucid, just not physically capable of doing much but being propped up in a chair facing a window. Now somehow she's being called "The mother of Leigh" instead of Mrs. Newcomber.

Anyway, she's staring out the window, occasionally being annoyed by the fact that her nurse is a "strange and harsh woman" and how she's a toy of Mizpra's now somehow.

It's also somehow "perverted" of Mizpra to let her mother reminisce about when she was younger but okay.

Watching birds is supposed to make one cry; I'm guessing mabye I watch birds incorrectly because, while interesting, I've never really felt any sort of urge to cry over them.

Mizpra evidently thinks, "partially paralysed from a stroke" means "also deaf" and is now always written shouting right into her mother's ear. Also, she was sick of her mother watching birds because "the mist will soon commence to fall" whatever that means.

Back to insulting Mizpra again, "With her energy, moral palsy, masculine effrontery, and unbridled control of a large fortune, she moved the men and women around her." He's writing that like it's a bad thing.

I mean, it'd be a lot easier to dislike her if he focused on the things she's done rather than the fact that the author just thinks she's a little too "masculine" because, really, by this point we know she stripped down a teenage girl in front of her class to berate her about wearing corsets, married a guy just because he knew how to use a typewriter, and planned her mother's stroke and had the thought of, "It'd be super inconvenient if she dies but whatever, I'll make it work if that happens." You know, legitimate reasons to dislike someone.

"There was not enough of sex instinct in her to enjoy being flattered as a woman," well, who the hell could blame her? Flatter her based on the abilities she's shown, none of which are remotely terrible (by modern standards at any rate).

The author doesn't seem to think highly of women as doctors either because the first one described is, "one of the big-footed, short-haired kind" you know, manly.

Oh, but, "a mild sort of fellow-feeling--not womanly--brought about business arrangements between Mizpra and the female physician."

This is such an exhausting book to read; no wonder so few copies still exist, even in reprint. Normally, I can’t get enough of getting my hands on and reading rare books that only have one or two copies still left anywhere but this? This one is a harsh reminder that some books may actually be better off eventually fading completely from anyone’s memory.

"The older inhabitants of the surrounding country had become interested in Mizpra. The Spaniards, Mexicans, half-breeds, and Indians, all bigoted and ignorant, were now singing her praises." I'm--pretty sure the only bigoted and ignorant one here is the author.

MOVING ON.

Oh look, someone brought her one of her Genius Brother's books: "Insanity in the Adolescent Caused by Religious Rites and Mysticism in the Catholic Church," by Leigh Newcomber, M.D.

There's also a typo in the book that the editor apparently missed, "It had been a distressing day for Mizpra, and she was ugly in mood, and agitated in feeelings."

Feeelings.

""I saw a pretty Indian girl to-day. I'll have as many as--" at this moment the blood rushed to her heavy cheeks and her hands and feet began to feel cold. She grasped the back of a chair to steady herself for a moment, then strode to the bed to throw herself down upon it."

Well, that came out of nowhere. Pun intended.

So now she's going to pretend she's Catholic and devote her time and money to teaching "the Indian and half-breed girls". I'm just going to assume she's moved beyond stabbing sleeping men with scarf pins and is moving on to--that.

Ordinarily, that wouldn't be all that off-putting sounding if not for the use of the term "half-breed" and girls. Girls--that often indicates that they're not adults.

Anyway, she gets a telegram presumably from Rev. Bald indicating he's ruined Leigh's life but, since I've read the previous chapters and the author is about as predictable as the tides, I'm going to assume Leigh sent the telegram and is planning a surprise visit.

Oh look, more casual racism: "An Indian lad, a protege of Father Francisco, arrived at the house with a note from that priest. He was a fine specimen of his race; lithe, bright-eyed, and cunning." He also doesn't like Mizpra, probably because she keeps calling people half-breeds and savages.

Wonderful! He even talks in a perfectly stereotypical racist manner, "Big bone squaw. Too much talk. Want chief."

So, she asks when "the woman" arrived at the priest's house, he answers, "Yes, bad squaw come."

Which makes her angry because he apparently said it in a defiant tone so she grabbed him and demands he explain why she's bad and if he doesn't she'll have him flogged.

I can't exactly parse the racist as hell way he's writing this kid but it seems something to do with an Indian who converts to Catholicism gets salvation?  

So Mizpra slaps him because that's a rational reaction but then he keeps talking and I have no idea what the hell is going on, "Indian boy understand. He white squaw no Christ squaw; Indian boy no white papoose. He squaw, look out."

He leaves, no further explanation, time skp three days later from "Rev. Bald" who basically details what Bald had intended to do but ended up getting tag teamed by Leigh and a prostitute. So, definitely Leigh writing that letter. I mean it also said that Mops was poisoned (diphtheria, for the last. fucking. time. infects you; the bacteria can produce toxins, which are what can cause the range of symptoms, some of which can be fatal, so unless you're just injecting the produced C. diphtheriae toxins right into someone, you are not poisoning anyone by exposing them to diphtheria, you are infecting them and I know that seems like semantics but the author is a doctor and should know better than to think infect and poison are the same thing) and died.

Anyway, Mizpra believes the letter is from Rev. Bald, so I'm sure that'll end well for her.

"Mizpra had but one thought, one passion now; that was, to wallow in her perverted pleasures to the saturating point of satiety." All right.

Chapter 19 begins with "The reader has probably already surmised from the letter received by Mizpra that Bald had recovered."

In the sense that he wasn't dead, yeah, I guess.

Leigh told the hospital Bald was hit by a trolley car and Bald is just, "Well, since I can't remember what happened, that must be correct!"

So Leigh shows up the next day because Rev. Bald is his patient and the first thing the author does is write something creepy in the narrative, "Leigh now noticed a distinct refinement in Bald's features. he was pale, and the whilom sensuous lips had lost some of their grossness."

Who--thinks like that? So he sits there watching Bald sleep for awhile then leaves after leaving some magazines and "a basket of luscious fruit".

Weirdo.

Nurse starts in with some story about how Leigh lost his wealth or something, then Leigh shows up again and Bald immediately goes turncoat on Mizpra.

So Leigh decides that Mizpra is "undoubtedly mentally ill" and "he would see her placed where she could no longer do injury to herself o rothers."

And they’re headed to California; of course, Leigh had Bald write the telegram and letter to tell Mizpra her plan went off flawlessly.

Predictable writing.

Leigh insists the issue is that Mizpra is insane, not a criminal, and that she's "not responsible for her actions". I mean, mentally ill or not, she's still responsible for her own actions unless someone else is forcing her hand, which they are not. That's been made clear.

Only about 100 pages left, thank everything.

Now they're talking about one of the other sisters, the older one who married a lawyer. That turned into a rambling story about how the lawyer "misappropriated" funds and somehow that landed them under having to get an allowance from Mizpra.

Chapter 20 appears to be Leigh is Stressed and Wants a Drink.

Manages to get home without doing that and apparently Obera's only method of showing support is to just fling herself around and cry.

"Leigh went to work instantly to eliminate the poison which his faulty nervous system had allowed to accumulate in his body and thus produce a self-intoxication." ...what?

He calls Dr. Bell to come and write something to Bald and Leigh has to be whiny about it, "Well, I don't believe you or any other man can understand what I suffer."

Please stop being 13 at some point, Leigh, you are an adult.

Now he's relating his life to Poe's stories and needs to stop--but I guess this book is where the whole "psychic incubus" thing came from because he's talking about one now.

And that sort of drifted in to him rambling incessantly about Edgar Allen Poe and how Leigh is just like that, only with more friends and less good writing, I guess.

I might have added the last two things.

Dr. Bell insists on heading out to California with Bald and Leigh and that's the end of that chapter.

It was 85% Leigh rambling on about Edgar Allen Poe while saying very little about him and just sort of quoting random bits of his work.

No surprise the author of the book had a weird obsession with the same thing.

[aranyaphoenix]

Hi! Tell me more about Your character! What are 5 things they likes. 4 they do not like. 3 goals. 2 things you wanna do on them and 1 way to start an walkup RP with you!

5 THINGS ARANYA LIKES

Her bffs! @thunderwolfstrike @silverashwind @theperished-wra @lakefire and a lot of people in @eclipse-syndicate!

TEA!

Perfect views of the night sky.

The ocean.

Warmth. Holding fire in her hand has a particular serenity for her.

4 THINGS ARANYA DISLIKES

People whose actions don’t match up with their words.

Cold environments.

Having to put up with her mother’s shit. The woman’s been dead for over a hundred years, but we’ll be seeing her in Shadowlands. Linan Ver’Sarn was stuck up and two faced a lot of the time, and only kept her promises to her daughter if it was convenient for her to do so.

Any stench that her fire spells can’t burn away. That kind of reek is unnatural and a hellish pain to have to deal with.

3 GOALS ARANYA HAS

Heal her heart. Getting divorced by her husband was bad enough, but subsequent to that the Black Empire has exploited her history of being abandoned by those she loves, and it’s seriously fucked her up.

Find a peaceful day where she can open up to @silverashwind about who/what she really is. Next to @safrona-shadowsun he’s her best and closest friend blue-side, and their trust has grown. Plus, his mun is like a brother to me and Valéria loves him like an uncle; Aeden’s a truly great prospect for an IC mentor for her.

This one’s an in-game goal rather than an in-character goal: Imma get Wrathion’s backpack!

2 THINGS I WANNA DO WITH ARANYA

I’m really looking forward to Shadowlands! It’s been touched on many times before how Aranya was supposed to have a son with @rhovinthorne, but she miscarried when the Burning Legion last invaded. Well, @manwich85 (Rhovin’s mun) and I have been talking a lot about what we each want to do with our characters over Shadowlands, and the soul of their would-be son is DEFINITELY going to feature, I can hardly wait! SO MUCH FEEELS ahead!

I wanna get back to adding my voice acting snippets to my writing and RP posts, it’s been a while since I last did one. Past posts with my voice work here!

1 WAY TO START A WALKUP RP WITH ME

I like it best when people approach walkups the same way that a real-life conversation with a total stranger that becomes a positive memory happens: chit chat in an elevator about what brought ya here, asking if it’s okay to pet their animal companion, saying how you like their shirt or their hair, remarking to the side about something that’s going on that you’re both observing.

But NEVER. EVER. EVER just start off with a plain and unembellished “hi.” DON’T DO IT. It’s weird, it’s like if a total stranger for no reason just decided to come up to you and said “hi” to you.

The only time this is okay, is if you’ve heard of my character before and want to approach her for business. Everyone says “hi” in a situation that’s just business, commerce, professionalism, etc., in which case you should also address her by name. “Hello there, Arcanist Ver’Sarn/Starwing?”

[arospaceboy]

tw: dysphoria, depression, period mention, family (mother)

let me know if i need more

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.

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not feeling too good right now boys. feeeling reaaly dysphoric and ive been crying on and off for the past couple hours.

I started period today and that usually makes me dysphoric but its extra bad this time and i really hurt both in my body and in my mind-area.

Also like ive been needing/wanting a haircut for months now and i havent gotten one and that brings dysphoria too.

I dont really hace anyone that i can legitimately talk with about these things. and ever since i got back from college back in late december, my mom hasnt even attempted to use my pronouns and i dont feel comfortable addressing it. Mostly cuz when i first brought up thinking about wanting to start T, she almost seemd like she got mad. And like i really dont like how feminine i look i just wnat it gone .

im cdying as im typing this btw, so sorry bout spelling mistakes.

i hhacent even told her that liek, im closer to being a man than last i updated her on my gender. and that was like a year ago. And she likes my hair longer, cuz "its so pretty long". i know it looks good but like i hate looking liek this. i hate goe long it is. i just wnat it to be gone. there's so many broken promises.

and liek i know shes struggling with things, but i am to but i can never say anything. im like screaming at myslef in my head ALL THE TIME, but liek im just complacent and noncontroversal. im just like a broken shell or something. and this has been building for so long and i havent been abel to do anything.

i dotn evem really have a job so i camt just go do things on my own amd i live in the middle of nowhere and dont own a car, so i camt travel on my own. amd im not out to liek any of my family so family gatherings are kinda painful. espcially when grandma keeps trying to get me to go to this Girls Weekend for her birthday. I love her and wish her well, but im soo afraid.

im so afraid with no reason to be. my family is really nice and accepting of these things but im so scared and complacent all the time. I just avoid everything even though i wanna run free.

but im so sacred

i hurt so much

most of my fear and "social" dysphoria stems from my mom right now cuz im living with her and shes basically the only person i ever see.

i have so mcuh more i want to say but i dont know how to say it and i just want to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA you knwo.

i just want to scream and yell and cry and tell my mom to ppease listen and respect me and nlt just treat me as some prop doll for her TransAlly thing she has going on at work or whatever. im just so tired.

im tired all the time of pretending to be fine and ok. and im always some sorta mixture of sad and angry, but i wear a "genuine" smile so nobody's worried.

And on top of all this, ive been doing lots of my owj personal research, but there's a good chance im Autistic. I think ive been an undiagonsed case because ive been camofloging. but i could be wrong. i have noway of seeing a specialist to comfirm my thoughts because im too afraid to bring this up to my mom.

i want to keep going on, but its 2:22 am for me and ive been typing for like half an hour...

[im-happy-at-home]

So I just found out that it was recently the anniversary of the release of the masterpiece that is A Day at the Races and so I wanted to share a rant I wrote in the middle of the night, sleep deprived listening to the album. A fair warning: I am incredibly enthusiastic and easy to rile up when I’m tired, plus spelling will probably wrong, as well as grammar. So anyways here is me making a fool of myself on the internet. Notice I get louder and louder as time progresses. 

Anyways, enjoy!

A Day at the Races is so good that my brain cannot compute.

Tie your mother down, with that gong opening and guitar solo is like the beginning of an epic movie or something.

You take my breath away? Eerily beautiful and sad. “I get ever so lonely from time to time” stood out to me so much and omg I cry 

Long Away? Is like? Such an Underrated song? I felt like I was leaving home or something and about to go away on a long journey, both excited about where I’m headed yet sad to leave behind everything. But then it’s also like I’m stuck in a place on my way somewhere longing to get where I wanna be but also go back to where I came from? I’m here, somewhere in between? Nowhere to go? How could a 3 minute 30 second song do this to me???? BRIAN HAROLD WILLAM MAY YOU ARE A GENIUS (author’s note: I don’t think that’s his real full name)

Don’t get me fricking started on Millionaire Waltz. It’s fricking beautiful when the opening has Freddie’s piano playing in one ear and John’s bass playing in the other, then they slowly merge together with the opening lyrics? And like that says a lot about their friendship?? Freddie’s bouncy and flowery and energetic piano and Deaky’s chill but complex bass riff?? Merging together in perfect harmony???? Also Freddie is at his peak here I swear. 

“Do you reMEEEEEEEmmmber?” YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 

“Coooome baaaack toooooo MEEEEEEE” YOURE DOING EVEN BETTER SWEETIE 

BRIAN LEGIT SNAPPED WHEN HE MADE THIS GUITAR SOLO ITS AMAZING!!! AND ROGERS DRUMMING CHANGES THE WHOLE TONE TOTALLY AND ARGWJQKSOSOEKEJSJ then the fricking WALTZ WITH THE MULTIPLE GUITARS AND RICH BASS AND BOUNCING PIANO KEYS AND THE CYMBAAALS the it slows down with Freddie and his voice and tHEN IT GETS THE FUCK BACK UP IM TIRED OF CENSORING MYSELF THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL TRACK THE HARMONIES ARE MY SEXUALITY I SWEAR I FEEEL LIKEEE A MILLIOOOONAAAIRE 

You and I is a BOP! John really has a way with songs that get stuck in your head for fuckING DAYS “JUST YOOOUUU AND IIII LAUGHTER RINGING IN THE DARKNESS PEOPLE DRINKING TO DAYS GOOONEE BYYYYY” im soft i want a love like this OH GOD THE FEELS

Also, “You know I could never see the futile, you know I could never see where life is leading me, but will we be toGETHER FOREEEVER?” “i don’t know” is such a MOOD. Deaky marry me I love you I wanna be your best friend. 

Then the masterpiece that is SOMEBODY TO LOVE is on next. Of COURSE it is. From one FUCKING banger to the next. Do I even need to emphasize how much I fucking love this song????? The HARMONIES, the PIANO, the BASS, GUITAR SOLO, the CYMBALS, the “SOOOOoooommBOOOOddyyy to LOOOooooOoOoVe,” the Roger SCREECH, then, THEN......

“find me somebody to LOOOVE, find me somebody to LOOOOVVEEE, find me somebody to LOOOOOVE, FIND ME SOMEBODY TO LOOOOVE, SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY SOMEBODY” 

“can annyYBOODDYY FIND MEEEE”

“somebody TOoooooOoooOOOO...”

“LooOOOOOOOoooOoooooVEEEEEEEE”

I fucking love this song. 

Alright here we go with White Man. I have actually never heard this song. Brian’s guitar is killing here. WOAH THE DRUM JUST JUMPING IN ON ME LIKE THAT IM SHIVERING I LEGIT GOT CHILLS OH MY THE DRUMS BANgING IN THEBACKGROUND THE GUITAR RIGHT IN MY EAR THE BASS IS TIGHT FREDDIE IS IN PRIME ROCK AND ROLL MODE HERE and boy this song got too real too fast and I am LIVING FOR IT YOURE KILLING IT BOYS THIS IS A BANGER “WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN WHITE MAN” SMASH THOSE CYMBALSSSSS ROGER YAS Freddie you’re voice and Brian’s guitar is just...music to my ears hehehehe lame joke. BOOM that drum ending though WOOH what a rush

YAAAAAS GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY “I CAN SERENADE AND GENTLY PLAY ON YOUR HEARTSTRINGS BE A VALENTINO JUST FOR YOUUUUU”

“oooooh LOVE oooooh LOVER BooooOOOOY WHAT YOU DOING TONIGHT hEy BoY” 

This song is amazingggggg every single member is able to shine here. Piano, drums, guitar, bass, and all those extra quirks make this song this is so underrated UGH

“Wheeeeeeen I’m nooottt WiiThhhh YOooUuuu THINK OF ME ALWAYS love youuu LOVE YOUuuuuuu”

BEST SONG EVER UGH WHAT AN UNDERRATED BOP 

Drowse. What. A. Song. Roger has never sounded better in my opinion. I can totally get lost in his voice and the instrumentals in the back. Wow. I just feel so at peace

“It’s a fantastic drowse of the afternoooooon suuuuundays” awww yes life makes sense now

“IT AINT EASY FOR A SMALL TIME BOY IT AINT EASY AT ALL” awww Rog my baby

“THINKING IT RIGHT, DOING IT WRONG” roG ME TOO ME TOO I WANNA GIVE YOU A HUG

I think this is one of my favorite songs. With the quiet chatter as the song fades.....what a chaotic yet serene song I just cannot Roger Taylor you are so much more than a car fucker I’m sorry if I ever doubted you THE WORLD IS BLESSED TO HAVE YOU

Awww the final song. What is this? Teo Torriate? This keyboard is sick! 

Oooh my god Freddie!!! “When I’m goooone no need to wonder if I ever think of yoooooouuu” I ALWAYS THINK OF YOU FREDDIE 

Wow this song is —

I had to stop for a while and really listen to the song as a whole. This song is amazing, especially with the references Freddie makes about how when he’s gone, not to forget him and the lessons we have learned. The final part where it seems like a whole crowd is singing along is like for me as if the whole world is singing along and continuing the legacy of Queen. Plus I’m listening to this at midnight dead tired and hearing Freddie say “Close your pretty eyes and be with me” or something along those lines was an almost spiritual experience.This is such a powerful song it’s like Freddie’s singing about not being sad that he is gone and instead celebrate what we’ve gone through together. “Let the candle always burn, let us never loose the lessons we have learned.” I’m not crying my eyes are just sweating. 

Wow. I’m done. I’ve listened to the whole of A Day at the Races. Wow. I just can’t believe how this album isn’t as well known as some of their others. There’s a track for literally everybody, and a lot of these songs have such deep and meaningful lyrics and melodies. I have just reached another level of peace and enlightenment after this album. Queen, you make living life so much better. If this isn’t Queen at their best then I don’t know if I can handle them at their best.

So here’s the end of my sleep deprived rant. I’m sorry if it’s so long, I guess I’m just really passionate at 1 am. If you guys want me to pull another allnighter, let me know what album I should do next. Thanks guys!

I sounded so high and drunk at the same time. Gawd. High on Queen I guess.

[ohiwishiwerearealboy]

5 data headcanons you have ?

Ohhh I like this ask! I’m very sorry about this manuscript. I had never written Headcanons for TNG and I got carried away. Since they were kinda long I’m just sending three, I hope that’s alright with you? I’ll post the other two tomorrow :)

1. Even without his Emotion Chip, Data was able to feel.

It’s repeatedly said along the series that Data has no emotions, but I don’t think that’s entirely true. I think he processes feelings differently than humans, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. My guess is that ever since he was found people drilled into him the idea that since he couldn’t feel like humans do, that meant he couldn’t feel at all. However, so far I’ve seen many instances of Data experiencing emotion. He feels the need to protect his crew members, he appreciates friendship and camaraderie, and there’s people he looks up to (like Picard and Riker). He has goals and hobbies, like playing the violin, painting - the mere fact he decided to join Starfleet is a prof of that. In his own way, he mourned for Tasha and Lal. While I agree that most of his reactions to these situations were probably triggered by an Ethics program, I don’t think someone entirely emotionless would have been as moved by them as he was. 

2. Data has survivor’s guilt.

I think that being the only survivor of Omicron Theta was very traumatizing for Data, (as much as an android can experience trauma of course). While the writers don’t really spelled it out to us, Data obviously has a need of belonging somewhere, of having a family and friends. I dare say, he might even experience something akin to loneliness.That’s why he joined Starfleet. That’s where his need to create Lal came from, and that’s also why when discovering Lore his first instinct was try to reactivate him. Picard does refer to him as an orphan at some point, which isn’t that much of a stretch.

Having in count Data refereed to Lal as his daughter, it’s safe to say that he considered Dr. Soong his father. He lost his family, and the worse part is that he can’t eve remember them. This notion that he “has no feelings” might also be a consequence of that. If Data woke up without any memory of his prior life only to find out that his home was destroyed and all his family was most likely dead, it means that the first thing he ever experienced was loss. If I were in his situation, I would also like to convince myself that I have no feeelings. 

More than once Data refers to Starfleet as “the place where he belongs”, meaning that he considers the crew his friends and perhaps even his family. I think he’s glad he found a new home, but it probably also troubles him deeply because he might loose it again. Data always jumps to the aid of his crew mates and (often unnecessarily) puts himself in danger when it can easily be avoided. He also says often that the fact that he is a machine makes him somehow “disposable” when compared to humans, and to me that roughly translates to “it’s better if I die, because I shouldn’t be here anyway.” 

3. Data’s first time was with Tasha Yar.

Of this I am sure 100%. Look, it’s not that Data is bad looking. I just think that, before that, it never occurred to anyone that he actually could have sex. I mean, he’s an android a while the crew knows better there’s many people in Star Trek that just see Data as a very complex computer. I also get the impression that because of his naivety and (I have to say it) innocence when it comes to socializing, most of the crew see him as an adorable, strange child and wouldn’t want to get involved with him in that way. 

It makes a lot of sense to me because if it had been a one time thing, I don’t think Data would have considered Tasha “special to him” and he wouldn’t have given so much importance to their encounter. I both love and hate this Headcanon because even though I ship Tasha/Data, I think that final “It never happened” line was kinda mean and if we add up the fact that it was Data’s first time it becomes freaking heartbreaking. However, I do think that they managed to mend their relationship afterwards and while I don’t believe they were seriously involved with one another, I’m pretty sure they fucked again a few times. 

[doctor-desi]

Well, it has been a while since I wrote something, so here is a little thing I thought of concerning the group from the campaign from the amazing mind of @meteorito618 ( @kruos-tallo ). Specifically it concerns my character, Blaine and her first experience with any sort of alcoholic beverage. If you would like, go ahead and read on! Don’t got a title for it, but here it is anyways!

We see a group of eight adventurers entering fairly loudly into the warm and inviting atmosphere of an inn, and what a group this is to behold. Diversity is not a stranger to this group, and none of them think any different of those they call friends and family. Two red, tall tiefling twins, hang off of each other, laughing as they gesture and exclaim seeming to talk about whatever events  just happened. A half-elf with messy black hair that is parted on one side of their head joins in with them, though hangs back a little favoring to walk in next to a halfling woman with bright orange hair as well as a green dragonborn who chuckles along and often comments back to the last three people in the group. These three appear more than comfortable to take up the rear, and quietly listen only joining in if they deem it necessary. The shortest, a gnome who does not stand out among them seems to take in their surroundings instead of paying attention to the company. A light blue dragonborn is middle height of the three and smiles at her friends, recounting some of the ways she joined in on their latest adventure. Lastly, the tallest of the three is an elf who smiles along as well, proud of her friends and how they handled their recent fight. The eight of them walk in and exchange greetings with anyone who may be inclined to do so, before choosing a rather large table and sitting around it.

“You all stay put, Lados and I’ll go and get stuff from the bar,” the slightly shorter of the two tieflings says, grabbing the arm of the other and making their way to the not too crowded bar.

“And hurry back with it you two, I don’t want to come have to track you down just to find you hogged all the drinks,” the halfling says and with a huff she turns back to the group. “Well,” she begins, “I do believe that was quite a success. I do hope the town will be a lot better off now that they do not have to worry about goblins sneaking in again.”

The half-elf besides her pipes up, “Don’t worry about it Gwen, I’m sure they’ll be fine and if they aren’t we can always come back and help them out again,” they bump the others shoulder and gives a warm smile before turning to the rest of the group and saying, “besides we are here to celebrate our success, not to worry more right?” And the rest of them give a little cheer as the two tieflings come back.

“Alright here we go,” says Lados, “First we got a couple shots for Xanaphia.” and she places two shots in front of the elf who smiles and takes one and downs it nodding in appreciation. “Next for the rest of us, mead. Here you go Gwen, Darjo and Sindri,” she places three mugs in front of the halfling, half-elf and gnome respectively, “Anakis,” she hands one to her twin, “and Blaine,” she sets the second to last one down in front of the green dragonborn who knits her eyebrows and gently grabs it. Lados takes a different steaming mug and says, “and none for Akra though I did get you something else,” she winks and places it in front of the light blue dragonborn who smiles in thanks. 

After distributing most of the drinks, Lados takes the last one and sits with Anakis finally joining the group and Darjo says, “A toast to all of us and to the wellbeing of those we are able to help,” and raises their glass. The group cheers and raise their glasses as well before taking a drink. At least most do, Blaine still sits holding her mug of mead and looking at it curiously. Darjo glances over and notices this and says, “Hey, what’s up? It’s just some regular old mead, same as any other inn has.” And some of the others look up at her as well as she fiddles with her mug nervously.

Before she can speak, Akra gently joins in and asks, “You haven’t drank anything like that before, have you?”

Blaine turns to look at her with a small smile replying, “Is it that easy to tell?”

Akra smiles and says, “Well when I never have myself it is easy to see in others as well. You don’t have to if you don’t want, but there is no one stopping you either.”

“Not to mention,” Anakis chimes in, as Blaine turns to look at him, “I would be glad to take that drink off your hands if you do not want it.” He winks eliciting some laughs from the others and in a Lados speaks up in a challenging tone, “That is if I do not get it first brother.” And they both push each other before laughing and turning to Blaine who grips her mug more tightly, feeling calm about the situation with how her friends are dealing with it.

“Thanks guys, but I actually am kinda curious,  so I guess trying a bit won’t hurt. And if I don’t like it, I’ll let you all fight for who gets it,” she smirks and then brings the mug up to her mouth, taking a sip of it. She sits for a second afterwords before shrugging and going in for another drink saying, “It isn’t too bad really.” Some rather dramatic sighs ring out from the two tieflings before chatter resumes as the group continues to enjoy their down time.

Before long, much of the group have finished their drink. And a few of them decide to get another... and another... and another. Xanaphia is fine after her own two shots, Gwen and Darjo drop out at two, Sindri suprisingly calls it quits after three, however Anakis, Lados and Blaine are now on their fourth drink. Everyone is happily chatting, some rather loudly. Blaine is flushed from all her drinking, and seems to find everything funny which amuses the others in the group.

Xanaphia leans over quietly tells her, “I think after this drink, you should be done for the night. You have drunk quite a bit and we would not want anything bad to happen.”

To which Blaine chuckles at a little bit and says with a slur to her voice, “Cooome on mooom., I feeel fiineee. In faact,” Blaine stands up, her chair falling over as she does so before she continues, “I feeel great! Liike I gootta... do stuff,” and that is all the warning the group gets before the younger dragonborn stumbles a second and jolts out the door laughing all the way. A chorus of “No!” and “Wait!” sound behind her as the others get up to chase after her.

---- The Next Morning ----

Blaine sits up from a bed that she does not remember getting into. Her head pounds telling her that sitting up was a bad idea so she plops back down with a groan.

“It is about time you got up,” a voice whispers from somewhere else in the room. Blaine looks around and sees Sindri and Xanaphia sitting in the corner, the latter mixing something before bringing a mug over to Blaine and handing it to her, “You should drink this, it should help a little. Blaine smiles gratefully and drinks noticing most of the pain went away. She sits up and stretches and looks to see Sindri has left.

She turns to Xanaphia and asks, “What... exactly happened after we sat down to drink?” But before she could get an answer she heard loud footsteps before seven more people come barging into the inn room. They all sigh as they wear different expressions raging from relieved to amused to slightly frustrated. Blaine raises a brow at them and it is Darjo who steps up.

“If you ever drink that much again, I am going to restrain you in vines before you can even make a move, so if I were you I would not drink that much EVER again!” They exclaim at her, however this just makes Blaine even more confused.

She turns to look at Gwen who shrugs and says, “You just got into a bit of trouble last night, almost jumped off a cliff thinking you could fly, tried to beat up a scarecrow cause you swore it was a goblin, tried to pick fights with almost everyone, burnt a BUNCH of spells randomly making quite the light show out here in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty amusing actually,” she chuckles as Blaine looks slightly horrified.

“Ugh, yeah don’t worry Darjo if I ever have a drink again it’ll only be one and if I even think about having anymore I expect one of you to smack it out of my hands, okay?” Blaine looks at each one in turn to make sure they all agree. With that all said and done, everyone returns to the rooms they stayed in last night to pack up and head out. After all, being protectors of the land from a place not many know of means that your job is never done.

[knicks-knacks]

what you said about ford is just so goddamn true it drive me nuts! 90% of his portrail by fandom is not just as this akward nerd but also the one w/ more common sense between the stan twins which is like ???? are you... kiddin me...? they're basically making them the new sam & dean winchester which is so ooc i can write a 10 page essay about it smh.

i knoooowww omg sometimes i just need to sit and rant abt it im always frustrated af UGH. this is like the only thing i dont like abt fandom everyone starts having really ridiculous fanon about characters that aren’t even true. and like fanon is okay tbh but???? when you fight with others and try and justify a character's actions and shit by YOUR OWN HEADCANONS like. can you just.  walk away and never appear in front of me ever again

and yes omg like???? stan ain’t the picture of great choices but he has way more common sense than Ford but Stanford has literally a total of like 0.4 common sense. like there were a fuck ton of warnings surrounding the summoning spell for ford for one, then the whole shaving with fire and giving children weapons and mind control devices i mean ford can u not

and I FEEEL UUUUU SO HARD DUDE i think at this point with all the times i’ve mentioned it + all the asks I’ve answered + all my rants I’ve probably written 10 pages already on this exact topic and other related things

[when-he-seesme-moved]

okay this probably is going to be incoherent im really fucking shaky but my typing is holding up so far and i dont know whats gonna happen to me but im gonna spill out my heart as best as i can time is running out i think please let me die by tomorrow morning please. i just wanted to say that im sorry for not filling enough requests all i ever want is to bring joy to other people all ive ever wanted was to be kind because kindness is the most important trait theres so much... bad in the world i just want to be kind and inspire people to be kind and im sorry i never acheived that oh im shaking am i cold or scared who knows my typing is alright no time for punctuation though i think actually i need ounctuation brb. so im gonna make slight messages to as many people come to mind. to the mods on dangankinthings thank you for being the best family i love u guys id die for you. oh and slicingbeauty i hope that you heal you dont deserve the abuse you received i promise and you deserve better than that you are no less human than the rest and i believe in you. you are the kindest i have ever known and im grateful to have known you. sorry for failing you. shsldeity you have helped me through a lot of shit youre the best and i hope you do okay. life is tough but you can do it!! :0 and pkstargazer you are wonderful and i am NOT giving up on you and neither is anybody else, not your boyfriend or your monomi or anybody else who loves you. take care, you are another one of the kindest ive ever known and im grateful to have known you too!! healing-hanyou ive heard that life is kicking you down and im sorry we havent talked much at all lately but hang in there!! you can do it!! desbear-get-it, youve helped me through so much and if i ever learned to love myself and forgive myself you would have been my epiphanny you helped so much and for that i will be forever gr ateful and detective-music and somebody else who i cant remwmber the url my head hurts ythe one whos been tagging me in stuff todaya youre amazig too youre amazing too, and the best if all my girlfriend dont blame yourself and god dont follow me. ive promised that id never leave you alone and im still not im always with u okay,? enjoh blue cheese and hanging out with your friends and i hope you do awesome at the olympiad(spelling??) hmm i feeele like im forgetting somevody but i dint know. oh yeah! thank you to anybody who has lent me support even if i dont even know you, youre amazing!! anyways last time i made a goodbye message i said a lot of things but i forgot the most important thing of all i wont forget it this time though! youre all amazing every single one of you, im sorry i cant fill more requests and i believe in all of you. dont use me as an example. you are deserving and you are kind and i have faith in u. dont give up. the most important thibg: i love you all. i dont want to embellish that and ruin the simplicity of the phrase. its just perfect. i love you. hopefully, this should suffice as a decent goodbye letter.

[salosion]

‪The Meaning of Salt. 🧂

🧂 ‬

‪How can one do tell of the future and AL✨˥ her things ?‬

‪The Voices yell from places that can bring any spell casts relations of thy king for if Y👁U can’t tell this world is made of Him by Him, God.‬

‎‪ יהוה ,הי. <— (Hebrew for God, Hashem, יהוה ,ה translated means The Name.) ‬

‪Again;

‪How can one do tell of the future and AL✨˥ her things ?‬

‪The Voices they yell from AL˥ places that can bring, any spell casts relations of thy king for if Y👁U can’t tell this world is made of Him by Him, God.‬

‎‪ יהוה ,הי.‬

‪But if Y👁U bring a choir that can sing, and only spe💋k /\ breathe 🌬 💨 breathe / \ ǝɥʇɐǝɹq 💨 \/ ƎH┴∀Ǝᴚ𐐒‬ /\ BREATHE \/ BREATHE /\ BRƎATHƎ🌬 \\// EASƎ /\ BR∀ƎTHE

🌬 //\\ EZƎEᴚ𐐒 ƎH┴∀Ǝᴚ𐐒‬

‪

\\// EASƎ /\ BR∀ƎTHE 🌬//\\ EASE \\//‬

‪ //\\ ƎZƎEᴚ𐐒 ƎH┴∀Ǝᴚ𐐒 \\// ‬

‪ BR ∀ ƎTHƎ //\\ EASE \\// BRE ∀ ƎTHƎ‬

‪/\ BR E ∀ ƎTHE, ACT from Y👁UR ‬

‪

HƎ❤️RTƧ heavy, heavy HƎ❤️RTƧ. ‬

‪ ACT from Y👁UR HEAVY, HEAVY. ‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ. ‬

‪ ‬

‪(If Y👁U were to weigh the amount of blo🩸d in a / the human body, the weight of the blood is irrelivent to the value of meaning and to the value of meaning of life because what it weighs holds no weight, it’s weight is unbound, PRICELESS BEUATY OF LOVING MIRACULOUSNESS, ‬

The Most Precious of Marmalade Confitures. 🍯

‪[[ I MEAN G👑D MADE ‬

‪YYYYYY👁👁👁👁👁👁👁UUUUUU‬

‪ ‬

‪Did Y👁U think about that one? ‬

‪I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one.‬ How SPECIAL THAT IS........HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE HOW FUCKING SPECIAL YOU ARE, HOW SPECIAL AND FUCKING OVERLY-LOVING THAT IS OF G👑D. I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one HOW GOD CREATED YOU YOU! YOU! YOU! FOR YOU! YOU! YOU! AND HIM AND FOR HIM AND US WICH EVENTUALLY EQUALS OUT TO US (Y👁U are each other as you pass.) US/ONE LIVING, ANIMATED, VIBRANT SPECIALLY SPECIAL SENTIENT MINDFUCKINGLY SPIRITUAL ORGANISM / FORCE / BEING that exists, or exists to us (outside of us is there existence?.....

Outside of us is only G👑d, Infinite G👑D, so yes there is existence, [thats a trip, as if EVERYTHING wasn’t a trip enough in existence already] But is there OUR W🌎RLD type of Existence¿ No I honestly don’t believe there is) and if you can feel then the real is real rough and tells your intuition that this is some sort of real some sort of real heavy real with heavy heavy weight and meaning and purpose and LOVEEE AND SPECIALLNESSS WAITTINGGG JUST WAITINGG AND WAITTING AND WAITING AND WAITING TO BE POURED OUT OF A CEREAL BOX 🥣 🥛

‪I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one.‬ How SPECIAL THAT IS........HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE HOW FUCKING SPECIAL YOU ARE, HOW SPECIAL AND FUCKING OVERLY-LOVING THAT IS OF G👑D. I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one HOW GOD CREATED YOU YOU! YOU! YOU! FOR YOU! YOU! YOU! AND HIM AND FOR HIM AND US WICH EVENTUALLY EQUALS OUT TO US (Y👁U are each other as you pass.) US/ONE LIVING, ANIMATED, VIBRANT SPECIALLY SPECIAL SENTIENT MINDFUCKINGLY SPIRITUAL ORGANISM / FORCE / BEING that exists, or exists to us...

I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one.‬ How SPECIAL THAT IS........HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE HOW FUCKING SPECIAL YOU ARE, HOW SPECIAL AND FUCKING OVERLY-LOVING THAT IS OF GOD TO HAVE HAVE CREA🎁TED......

Y💋U

I mean REALLLYYY REALLLYYY think about that one HOW GOD CREATED YOU! YOU! YOU! YOU! FOR YOU AND HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE I MEAN ITS MORE MUCH MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THEN WE CAN EVEN CURRENTLY COMPREHEND AT THIS CURRENT PHASE / STAGE \ AND SPIRITUAL TIME & AGE LAPSE OF EXISTENCE AND TIME WE ARE CURRENTLY IN, ITS SOOOO MUCH MORE MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE COMPLICATED THEN WE CAN EVEN CURRENTLY COMPREHEND HOW and / THAT HE CHOSE YOU HE MADE YOUUU AND YOUU TO BE YOIUU BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS YOU WITH ALL OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL GORGEOUS VIEWS AND TASTES AND TALENTS AND OPINIONS AND LIKES AND PASSIONS AND DESIRES AND PREFRENCES LIKE HE MADE YOUUU TO BE YOUUU AND TOOO ENJOYYY, TO ENJOYYY HIMM AND HISSS CREATION HE CREATED TO MAKE YOU FEEEL JOY LOVE EUPHORIA WONDER BECAUSE WITHOUT US HE’S LONELY HE NEEDS OUR LOVEEE TO MAKE HIMSELF MORE CAUSE WITHOUT YS GOD IS THE GREATEST THING EVER THE GREATEST THING EVER CANNOT MULTIPLY AND MAKE HIMSELF GREATER THATS WHY GOD NEEDS / CREATED US TO MAKE HIMSELF GREATER BY HAVING US CREATE MORE OF WHAT HE IS / THE ENERGY THAF HE IS IN ATMOSPHERE AND TOWARDS HIM LOVE, THATS HOW GOD CAN MAKE HIMSELF GREATER AND THE ONLY REASON HE WANTS TO MULTIPLY HIMSELF AND MAKE HIMSELF GREATER IS OUT OF BECAUSE OF AND ONLY DUE TO LOVE AND THE BONE TINGLING’, EARTH SHATTERING, SKIN GOOSE BUMP DRIPPIN’ INFINITE EUPHORIC RIGHTEOUS EXPERIENCE OF FEELING CREATING AND SHARING LOVE SOOO FUCKING SPECIAL LIKE THE GIFT AND MIRACLE OF LIFE IS RIGHT IN FUCKING FRONT OF US YOU’RE A LIVING BREATHING SENTIENT BEING ALIVE IN A VIBRANT ENERGY FABRIC SO HOLYY SO FUCKING MIRACOULOUSLY SPECIAL AND HOLY IT COMES TO LIFE AND HAS ITS OWN SALACIOUƧ TOUCH IN THE TEXTUREƧ OF THINGS BOTH ABSTRACT AND NOT BUT EVERYTHING IS ABSTRACT WHAT DOES NOT COLLIDE US AS “ABSTRACT” IS MERELY A FIGMENT THAT HAS BEEN TOO GOTTEN USED TOO. ]]‬

‪Oh by the way A Human contains about 1.2 to 1.5 gallons of blo🩸d.‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ‬

‪ ACT from Y👁UR HEAVY, HEAVY. ‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ that BLEED.‬

‪ ACT from Y👁UR HEAVY, HEAVY. FRAGILƎ‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ that BLEED AND BREAK DEEPEST WHEN THEYRE NOT EVEN PHYSICALLY TOUCHED, 🗡 PUNCTURED ⚔️ OR HARMED. ‬

‪ ACT from Y👁UR HEAVY, H Ǝ ∀ V Y. HEAVY, ⅄ Λ ∀ Ǝ H , HEAVY FRAGILƎ BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE, BEAUTIFULLY DELICATELY DELICIOUSLY DELECTABLY DELICATE DELICATESSEN ‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ‬

‪G👑D IS L❤️VƎ THINKKK OF HIM NOWWWW AND ALL THE TIMEE PRAISE HIMM LOVE HIMM THANKK HIMMMM GOD IS LOVE SO THE ONLY PHYSICAL FEATURE WE CAN METAPHYCISALLY & METAPHORICALLY ATTACH TO / WITH HIM, HIS BEING AND WHAT HE IS, IS ‪HƎ❤️RT.

‪***‬**G👑D IS L❤️VƎ THINKKK OF HIM NOWWWW AND ALL THE TIMEE PRAISE HIMM LOVE HIMM THANKK HIMMMM G👑D IS LOVE THINK ABOUT HOW G👑DS HE❤️RT FEELS ALLLLLLL THE TIMEEE THINKKK ABOUTT IT ALLLL THE TIME ANDDD ACT UPON IT!!! G❤️D IS LONELY HE MISSES US HE MISSES YOU SAY HI TO HIM TELL HIM Y👊U L❤️VƎ L❤️VƎ L❤️VƎ L❤️VƎ HIM ACKNOWLEDGE HIM AND HIS BEAUTIFULLY CRAZYY BEAUTIFUL EXISTENCE; PRAISE HIMM, PRAISEEEE G👑D AND THE BEAUTY OF HIS WONDROUS BEAUTIFUL CREATION & CREATIONS; THANK HIM, FOR GRATITUDE AND GRATEFULNESS = TRUE LOVE, IT SHOWS THAT YOU UNDERSTAND YOU ARE NOTHING AND THAT YOUR REACTION TO EVERYTHING IS NOTHING BUT PUREEEEE LOVEEEEEE..........RIGHTEOUS. ‬

Gratefulness = True Love = Righteousness.

‪ ACT from Y👁UR HEAVY, HEAVY. ‬

‪HƎ❤️RTƧ stinging swing you will be a true offspring of thy king, and therefore a king

Y👑URSELF underneath thy One True Real King G👑D. G👑D created Y❤️U To share His thrown, throwns AND sapphire thrown with Y👊U and experience the wonderously wonderfully wonderful & the delectably deliciously delicious euphoria beyond beautifully magnetic magic that is the fabric of your experience.

Thy king our God our only ONE God Is Love & He Created Y❤️U out of His own over - kindness Love appreciation so that we can experience this so that we can experience and feel L❤️VƎ so that WE can experience pain because without the pain we wouldn’t be able to experience, share and create More G👑D more of what G👑D Is.

G👑D Is L❤️VƎ.

‪I Can Only Work Through L❤️VƎ that is Thy King.

Sincerely, Regards, Yours Truly, God Bless.

Salomon Joseph Sion

‎ שלמה יוסף ציון.