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ln444 · 1 year ago

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truly madly deeply

cw: fluff, very slight angst, comfort (reader comforting lando), you and lando are fucking in love:'(((

now playing: truly madly deeply by 1d

notes: i love requests inspired by songs pls request more of it🥺 wrote this in 30 minutes at 3am so its a bit short sry:(

requested by anon

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these past few weeks have been incredibly tough on lando, both mentally and physically. you've undoubtedly noticed and have been doing your best to support him while giving him the space he needs. lando may struggle to express his feelings in words, but he's been showing his gratitude in other ways – with small gestures and plenty of physical affection. you've been following his f1 journey closely, never missing a grand prix, and making sure you're by his side through it all. lando has never felt more loved and supported. his favorite moments are those when he can finally rest and spend time with you after a grueling race.

qualifying is tomorrow, and lando seems even more nervous than usual. you know him inside out, recognizing his little habits when he's stressed; without him saying a word, you understand the thoughts racing through his mind. the night has fallen, heightening lando's anxiety as the race draws near. he's been more affectionate than usual today, seeking comfort in your hugs and asking for extra kisses. while you love this closeness, it also concerns you. you're well aware of how hard lando can be on himself, and the thought of what he might be going through tugs at your heart.

you join him on the bed, facing him, the stars casting a soft glow on his tired face, making his eyes sparkle even more when they meet yours. "hey, pretty boy," you whisper gently, your hand tenderly cupping his cheek and stroking it. butterflies flutter in his stomach, and his body relaxes a bit. "hey, love" he whispers back, planting a sweet kiss on the palm of your hand, eliciting a smile from you.

"how are you feeling?" you ask softly, your fingers gently playing with his curls – something you know he adores. with a sigh, lando closes his eyes for a moment before locking onto yours again. he finds immense comfort in your gaze, with the rest of the world fading away each time he gets lost in your eyes.

"i don't know... i'm not feeling great about tomorrow," he admits with a hint of worry in his voice. your heart aches just hearing his concerns. you move closer, your gaze softening, and lando's heartbeat quickens. how can you have such a profound effect on him with just your eyes? it drives him crazy.

"why, baby? you don't have to worry. you're lando norris, after all!" you playfully roll your eyes, and a smile tugs at lando's lips. he takes your hand and interlaces his fingers with yours, and you reciprocate with a warm smile.

"no, but seriously, what's bothering you?" you softly toy with his fingers while giving him your full attention.

"i mean, it's more of a mclaren problem than a 'me' problem," he hesitates for a moment, and you gently caress the back of his hand, encouraging him to open up.

"i don't think i belong there anymore. i don't think i can show my true potential with them." his voice is calmer now, and a sense of relief is evident.

you hum softly, and he finds the courage to continue, still focused on your hands playing together. "should i quit? but what if no one else wants me?" panic creeps into his voice, and you immediately grip his hand firmly, bringing your free hand to his cheek.

"hey, you're one of the best drivers out there. there'll always be a team that wants you. believe me, there'll always be a place for you in f1. you've worked so hard to get here, and you truly deserve it," you reassure lando. he gets lost in your eyes, feeling the depth of your love and honesty. his heart feels like it could burst at any moment.

"but i want to be the best," he pouts, and you chuckle softly, giving him a quick peck on the lips, making him smile. "you're already the best for me," you say with a gentle smile, causing lando's heart and cheeks to warm. he groans playfully, slightly embarrassed by his blushing cheeks, and your smile widens. "you're so cute; i don't think my heart can take it," you playfully whimper, cupping his face and squeezing his cheeks. lando bites his lip to suppress a smile, and the sparks in his eyes intensify. you place multiple kisses on his lips, and lando can't help but chuckle. he puts his hands on yours to pause the kisses and says, "just give me a real kiss already, please," another pout forming on his lips. your smile grows bigger, and you oblige, giving him a gentle kiss.

lando pulls back to look at you, and the warm smile on his face melts your heart. "thank you," he says softly, caressing your hands. you don't really know why he's thanking you to be honest; for the kiss or for the honest words. "you don't have to thank me," you say, placing a quick peck on his lips. "i'll always be here for you, no matter what," another peck, "and i'll always be proud of you," another one, "no matter what, my pretty boy."

lando's heart has never felt this warm. in fact, his entire body feels warm right now, overwhelmed by the love he's receiving. "god, what did i do to deserve you?" he asks with a sweet and calm voice, clearly feeling better. "i'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you."

"i know you did not just quote a one direction song," you both laugh, and lando groans, hiding his face behind your hands, feeling a bit embarrassed. "it's cute," you move your hands to look at him. "i'm truly, madly, deeply in love with you too," you say with a hint of teasing in your voice, but you absolutely mean it. a big smile forms on lando's face, and you run your hands through his hair to pull him into a tender kiss.

lando's heart feels lighter, your sweet words and touch washing away all the negative thoughts for the night. if you have to repeat every single word you said to him tomorrow and the day after – every day, you will do it, again and again. lando knows it, and he has never felt so thankful.

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masterlist

#lando norris x reader #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #lando norris #lando norris fluff #f1 #lando norris angst #f1 angst #f1 drabble #f1 fanfic #ln4 fluff #ln4 imagine #ln4 x reader

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niningtori · 7 months ago

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make you cry | part two: beomgyu's ending

part one | part three: hyuka's ending

pairing: choi beomgyu x you

summary: after your feelings for beomgyu are revealed, you take some time to heal from your "breakup". as for beomgyu, he's realizing just how important you are to him, but it may be too little too late.

genre: romance, angst, smut (MDNI), fwb

warnings: smut (mdni), unprotected sex, creampie, sub!gyu, oral (f. rec), dacryphilia, dirty talk, praise, degradation (m. rec), if i missed anything lmk

word count: 3.4k

notes: hello again friends! am i satisfied with this? no. am i still posting it? YES. as you may know, there will be an alternate ending with hyuka as the lead. i will probably post that on my bday (the 24th). until then, i hope you enjoy this! and again.. pls don't be mean ;_; i'm still new to writing smut and this is not proofread

it’s almost been a year since the night you said goodbye to beomgyu. time has healed most things, but your rage certainly helped speed it along. throwing away old polaroids beomgyu took of the both of you, past birthday cards he wrote when he was feeling particularly sentimental, and clothes he had forgotten to take home with him most definitely aided your catharsis, even if you did it all in the midst of a rampage. do you regret it now that you’re relatively calm? maybe a little bit, but not having reminders of beomgyu around your home outweighs any sliver of regret you may or may not harbor. traces of him fade from your body first, then your mind, then your heart. you still sort of miss him, that much is clear, but when you really think about it, you’re not sure why that is. so you try not to think about it at all.

you're doing okay now, truly. it's not like you forgive him or anything, but you're not as angry as you used to be, which, you know, is better than nothing. you regret sleeping with him, regret not speaking up for yourself sooner, even regret taking his hand when he held it in front of you all those years ago, but you're starting to realize that it doesn't matter anymore. what's done is done, no use crying over it any longer. as for everything beomgyu did to you, he did it and he meant it. fuck whatever explanations he has.

on beomgyu’s end, it's not like he hasn't tried to contact you, but that only resulted in you blocking him on every conceivable plane. he convinced one of his friends to give him his instagram login so he can see your posts, but that’s about all he has to go off of these days. from the looks of it, it seems like you’re doing pretty well on your own. your friendship with kai seems to have strengthened because you’re calling him your best friend now, and who knows if you’re fucking each other. the jealousy he feels is all-consuming. to be honest, beomgyu knows he wasn’t the best of friends towards you, even before the hooking up, but he still feels wronged somehow. he’s thought, in great detail, about how he would act if the roles were reversed, but that only makes him feel worse. because he’d forgive you. he’d be angry for a while, this much he knows, but he’d always forgive you. you are, or were, his best friend, after all. and maybe even something more, but he doesn’t want to think about that.

he’s shown up at your apartment, too. especially while drunk. sometimes, it’s because he misses you. most times, it’s because he’s so drunk it feels like the only place that feels like home. you never open the door, though. he likes to think it’s because you’re not there, but after the fifth time, he knows better.

well, it had to happen sooner or later. your town is only so big and your friend circle is so small, of course running into beomgyu was not a matter of if, but when. even still, he looks positively shocked to see you at the house party of one of kai’s friends. as soon as you lock eyes with him, you know you’re in for it. you should leave, and you really, really would, but it’s a birthday party and kai’s your designated driver. you’d make him look bad if you left so soon, so you decide the best course of action is to get drunk so your head stops hurting. after downing some drinks, you carefully avoid beomgyu and make your way to some random bedroom just to cool off.

you’re a few drinks in, head buzzing and tongue feeling heavy. it was bitter work, but each shot had you feeling less and less suffocated by beomgyu’s presence. you wish you didn’t care as much as you do, but the feeling is still there. seeing him should spark nothing in you, but you can’t help but feel indignant. and honestly? a little sad, too. things have gotten better, but all the old feelings have been dredged up with a vengeance.

while you’re trying not to think about him, as if on cue, beomgyu bursts through the door.

“h-hi,” he says hesitantly. really? that’s it? hi?

“uh… hi?” you say unsurely, kind of at a loss for words.

“how are you?”

“what do you want?” you ask as if he’s a fly who won’t stop buzzing around you. he supposes, in a way, he is.

“i-i just wanna talk to you,” he says meekly.

“about what? there's nothing left to say,” you argue. and with that, you rise from the bed, preparing to leave.

“i’m sorry!” he exclaims, the words leaving his mouth before he can get a chance to reel them back in. “i’m just… really, really sorry.”

“i don’t care,” you say flatly, crossing your arms and not even sparing him a glance. now that stings.

“but i’m sorry!” he repeats, just like a child. “can’t you forgive me?”

“and what exactly are you sorry for?” you turn to look at him. “sorry for treating me like shit for years, sorry you fucked me when i told you i wasn’t interested, or sorry because i’m not there at your beck and call anymore?” his face crumbles at your unforgiving words.

“i’m… i’m sorry for how i treated you. i know i was wrong, but i’ll never do it again if you just give me a chance.”

“no,” you reply firmly.

“please?” he begs, teary-eyed and words unsteady.

“what exactly do you want from me?” you sigh irritatedly. “if you want things to go back to how they were before, you’re out of your fucking mind.”

“what if i don’t want things to go back to how they were?

“then what do you want?” you ask, genuinely curious now.

“i want you, that’s all. things don’t need to go back to how they were. i just need you.”

“need me?” you laugh dryly. “you need me now? you only miss me because you don’t have me at your service anymore. stop wasting my fucking time.”

“that’s not true! i miss you. i-i know i’m late, but i really miss you. i’m sorry i didn’t realize it sooner.” he looks so… pathetic like this. it’d be sad if it weren’t so goddamn vindicating. before you can come up with a response, he’s hurriedly saying his next words.

“i-if you wanted me to learn my lesson, i’ve learned it. i promise i have. i promise i’ll never, ever take you for granted again.”

“beomgyu,” you sigh, closing your eyes and massaging your temples, “this isn’t about teaching you a lesson. this is about me not being willing to put up with you anymore.” he looks absolutely devastated by your harsh words.

“i’m begging you,” he says, voice shaking like a leaf.

“why does it matter? what, you haven’t been able to get your dick wet? do you need pussy on tap again?” he blushes at your words. you must’ve hit a sore spot.

“so that’s it. you don’t miss me at all. you just want to take advantage of me.” you don’t know why, but your own words don’t just hurt him, but yourself. you’re not sure what you were expecting, but you can't help but feel disappointed. missing you is still all about him. what he wants, what he thinks he needs.

“i love you,” he says. what?

“w-what?”

“i love you,” he repeats with more vigor. "i didn’t know it then, but i know it now. i miss you so much because i love you. and i want to be with you.” this whole thing is so ridiculous, you don’t know whether to laugh in his face or beat the shit out of him, but you can’t deny the way your heart flutters (and clenches) at his words.

“you have no idea what you’re talking about,” you say coldly. what the hell does beomgyu know about love? love is selfless, self-sacrificing. he doesn’t know a fucking thing about that. this must be a new way of trying to keep you all to himself. but it’s working.

“i know you don’t think i do, and i understand why. i just want you to give me a chance to show you that i mean it. i’ll do anything.”

he’s annoying, no doubt, but you like how he looks when he begs. you could get used to this.

how do you say no to him when he’s begging so feverishly like this? beomgyu hasn’t begged for anything in his fucking life. he hasn’t needed to, given how easily everything has worked out for him thus far. but this new side of him sparks a new fire in you you had no idea existed. you’re struck with a sadistic new idea you will probably regret, but right now? you want to act on it.

“anything?”

“anything,” he says so quickly you can’t help but laugh a little.

“then strip,” you command.

“w-what?” he asks, eyes blown wide in shock.

“you heard me.”

“b-but the party?”

“whatever,” you sneer. “if you’re not going to do it, i’m leaving.” you turn to leave, but he yanks you back and looks at you with pleading eyes.

“i’ll do it,” he says with newfound determination. you slyly lock the door and he gulps before pulling his shirt over his head. he’s been naked before you many times, but this feels different. he feels like he’s being scrutinized to a degree where he can feel your eyes boring into him. you tilt your chin up and raise your eyebrows expectantly. with shaky hands, he undoes his pants and lets them fall to the floor. he’s embarrassingly hard already, if the tent in his boxers is of any indication, which only makes you smile meanly.

“i don’t remember telling you to stop,” you say arrogantly. he gulps and finishes undressing, cock slapping comically into his stomach. he stands fully naked and feels smaller than he ever has. you push him onto the bed and he wonders what you have in store for him.

you straddle him, still fully clothed, but hiking your dress up just a bit so he can see how soaked you are through your panties. he whines when you take one of his hardened nipples between your fingers and experimentally tweak it.

“do you like that, beomie?”

he nods feverishly and says “like it, like it so much!” you smirk in satisfaction as you plant a searing kiss on his chest and he can’t bite back his moans. between you sucking a blooming hickey and toying with his chest, his mind is fuzzy and all he can feel is pure ecstasy.

this isn’t about him, though. and you make that clear when you move and situate your clothed pussy over his face.

“sit on my face, please, please, please. wanna taste you,” he cries. well, you won’t say no this time.

you hold onto the headboard as he moves your ruined panties to the side and he gasps when he sees how wet you are. he whines again, showing you just how badly he wants to be in it, but all you do is lower yourself onto him. his tongue is skilled, just like it’s always been, but there’s a sense of desperation that wasn’t there before. he switches between fucking your hole with his warm tongue and sucking on your clit like a man starved. you feel your legs buckling as you reach your end, but his hands grip your soft thighs even after you finish, lapping at your pussy like a damn dog.

“ah, too much! b-bad boy!” you exclaim. that doesn’t stop him though, and now you’re sober enough to notice how desperately he’s fucking into nothing at all. his cock, usually so pretty and pink, is now a deep red color from the lack of reprieve.

you thread one hand in his hair, just to have something to hold onto, and he groans into your pussy when you lightly tug his hair. before you can do anything more, you’re falling apart on his tongue and crying out his name. a sound he never thought in a million years he’d hear again, but what a lovely sound it is.

“sit on my cock, p-please?” he begs when you finally raise from his face.

“you’re not in a position to be asking me for anything, beomgyu,” you say.

“please? baby, it’s aching.” you throw a look back and see he’s right. it’s beet red and leaking an ungodly amount of precum. your pussy clenches around nothing when you see how desperate he is for you.

“please? need you,” he says with tears in his eyes.

after all this time, you’re still so fucking weak for him. you sigh as you take off your dress and his eyes widen when he watches your breasts bounce as you toss the tiny little thing somewhere behind you.

he goes to grab them, but you slap his hands away and it’s all he can do to keep himself from kicking his feet like a toddler throwing a tantrum.

“but why?!” he asks frustratedly.

“bad boys don’t get to touch,” you shrug, and he’s a split second away from whining when you harshly grab the base of his cock, shutting him up once and for all. before you can lower yourself onto him, he’s cutting into your desire with his next words.

“a-are you fucking him?” he asks meekly. it doesn’t take a genius to figure out he’s talking about kai.

“why do you care? aren’t you the one who’s always going on and on about ‘no strings attached’?” you spit and he looks sorrier than you’ve ever seen him. to be honest, you’re not fucking kai. you’ve never seen each other that way, actually. he’s been nothing short of amazing to you, to be sure, but his lingering feelings for his ex and yours for beomgyu didn’t make for the best foundation for love. at this point, you were the best of friends. nothing more, nothing less. but beomgyu doesn’t need to know that.

any words of complaint on his part are cut short by you sinking down on him.

“mmh… o-oh my god,” he says hoarsely as the tip of his cock pushes through your entrance. it’s always been a tight fit, but you’ve been celibate for nearly a whole year. your muscles aren’t used to the intrusion and he can feel it. still, you continue sinking down onto him until every inch is sheathed in you and he’s touching your cervix. you can swear you feel him in your womb. his tears are falling freely now as he can feel you adjust around him, pussy clenching against your will as you try to accommodate his length and girth.

“s-so pretty,” he says as his bleary eyes try to focus on you. you let out an airy laugh, but truthfully, you aren’t faring much better. he looks so perfect like this, sobs coming from his pretty mouth and tears spilling over his reddened cheeks. that’s all the permission you need to really start. slowly, you pull yourself up with no little effort on your part. your pussy nearly turns inside out trying to get yourself off of his length. the lewd image engraves itself in his eyes and he cries even harder.

“l-love you, love you, love you so much,” he whines, eyes rolling back from the pleasure. his mouth is open and you think you might even see a bit of drool pooling at the corners of his lips. you don’t respond, but instead you mercilessly sink back down in one fluid motion.

“ah!” you both cry out at the feeling. you’re so full, you can barely stand it, so you don’t. up and down, you begin bobbing on his cock with little regard for his sorry state. he grabs your hips, pulling you down and fucking up into you, not once letting you falter in your pace. his grip will leave bruises, but you’re not interested in the repercussions of your actions now as beomgyu grits his teeth and rams harder and harder into you. he’s so lost in the feeling, he no longer cares about your so-called rules as he grabs your bare tits and pops one in his mouth. he begins sucking and rubbing his tongue on it and his big, veiny hand is busy teasing the other one.

“i- i thought i said you don’t get to touch,” you manage to choke out between gasps.

“c-can’t help it! your tits are so pretty!” he says as if it’s completely out of his control. and it really might be. beomgyu doesn’t look like he’s in control of anything at this very moment. he just didn’t realize how much he’d love the feeling. with his words of praise and the suckling of your chest, you feel yourself coming closer and closer to the edge.

“gyu, i’m coming!” you exclaim as spasm around him. a few seconds later, and you feel his hot seed overflowing from your insides. after a couple of more sloppy thrusts, you’re collapsing on top of him and panting heavily.

“so good, so perfect,” he whispers before pulling out. what you don’t expect is how he flips you over onto the bed and slides himself in your aching cunt again.

“g-gyu?!” you stutter.

“j-jus’ wanna show you how much i missed you,” he slurs, mouth agape and eyes totally glazed over. he hikes your legs up over his shoulders and pistons in and out of you at an ungodly pace. he’s so deep, you can feel hot tears spring in your eyes as you struggle to take all of him in. he leans over and shoves his tongue in your accepting mouth.

“good pussy,” he says in a daze when he parts from you. “so fucking tight. j-jus’ for me, right?” he asks, and you can hear the insecurity in his voice. you’re silent for a moment before you answer quietly.

“just for you.” he smiles as if he’s relieved and continues to fuck you into the mattress until he’s painting your insides again. he pulls out and the sinful sight of cum leaking out of your puffy hole sears his eyes. you look so beautiful like this, when you’re full of nothing but him. the thought of doing this forever, just you and him and no one else, is enough to make him feel happiness he’s never felt before.

he collapses next to you and pulls you into his warm embrace. he’s never done this before. not after sex, anyway, but he’s shown you the most vulnerable sides of him tonight. the sides you used to cry about not being able to see.

“you didn’t answer my question before,” beomgyu whispers.

“what?” you ask, still in a daze.

“are you fucking him?” you want to sit up and smack him, but he cages you in his arms. leave it to beomgyu to ruin the mood

“... no, but i just don’t see why you would care. weren’t you getting your dick wet until you couldn’t find anyone else?”

“i wasn’t! i… i couldn’t get hard for them…” he trails off, almost hoping you didn’t hear. but you did. you don’t know whether to laugh or cry. is he serious?

“and the only reason why i’m asking is because i just can’t stand to see you with anyone else.” for some reason, your temper flares at this.

“yeah? well imagine how i felt for years.” he’s silent at this. how can he make up for years of making you feel like garbage? and how could you bear feeling like this for years on end? it hasn’t quite been a year for him yet, but he feels absolutely gutted. every day without you is miserable, to say the very least. and seeing you with someone else? heartbreaking.

“being together is a bad idea,” you sigh after putting some thought into it. “we’ll just fight and —”

“we won’t fight!” he exclaims. “why would we fight? i’ll just listen to anything you say!”

oh. you could really, really get used to this.

notes pt. 2: is it normal to never be satisfied w what u write? bc that's how i feel ;_; but whatever! it is what it is i fear. anyway, i hope u still enjoyed it!

taglist: @my313 @superbbananananana @lonelybutterflytae @cherrycolaberry @everythingvirgoes @beomnoullitheorem @sunny4cast

series taglist*: @gothraccoons @jaxyy219 @idontwantoeatspicy @soobsfairy444 @denleave1088 @notevenheretbh1 @fairfootedflekk @hihello-pinky @ilovesimjaeyun143 @sweetttkissess @seolis-world @midwinterblizzard @slutty-cherry @run2min

*not everyone's tag options were open, but i still put ur user in so u can see that i tried!! also, if you're an ageless blog, i'd prefer if you didn't read my works even if you're not a minor because it makes me uncomfortable. for that reason, you were not tagged. thank u friends <3

#niningtori #make you cry #beomgyu hard thoughts #beomgyu hard hours #beomgyu smut #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #mdni #beomgyu x reader #beomgyu angst #txt angst #nini's hard hours

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becauseheartsgetbroken-hs · 5 months ago

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bestie i'm new to the world of fics and it would be great if you could recommend me some good iconic stories to read 🥰pleasee ❤️

OHHH WELCOME BABY! 💞💞

Hope you'll find the great comfort they offer to all of us too!

I'm thrilled to do this so I'm gonna start immedietaly! Don't know what's your taste is so I'm gonna recommend many different stories I have loved! 😊

A Toast To The Future by @narryffdreaming is one of my favorite stories ever and I truly believe it's one of the most beautifully written stories I've ever read. 🙏 The way Dani approaches the past experiences of the characters and their emotions is impressive. I am always fascinated by stories that are authentic and the way that story is written makes you feel seen even if your experiences are not exactly the same as the characters. 💞 (can't wait to read the next part)

Maisy and Harry are just friends (except they aren't) by @narryffdreaming again because I just love her work! Friends to lovers trope (i loooove this trope sm) and it has everything: angst, fluff, romance, softness, smut, everything! Everything just flows so nicely!

When Y/N dates someone, they find their soulmate…it’s never her by @jawllines is super cute and lovely and made me giggle and blushing! It's such an unique concept and I just loved it!

Harry and Y/N are in the same ballet class, and they hate each other by @jawllines again and what can I say? Pure enemies to lovers story that has you in a chokehold. Everything about it is perfect! 😍

Daddy Issues by the amazing @fkinavocado is jaw dropping, I mean it! It's one of the first long stories I read in here so it's special to me. 🙏 Dreea delivered the great combination of spicy and softness with this story.

Sex Tutor by @gurugirl ! I really liked the way she wrote about this topic and it felt like she did it with so much respect (as she always does) and I just really had a great time reading it.

404 by my pookie @freedomfireflies 💗is one of my favorite stories ever and I feel like I have to tattoo this to my skin at this point. 😂 It's enemies to lovers and you can feel the tension from a mile. Also 404rry is the most annoyingly adorable characher ever and I just adore him. 🤗💗

Teach Me by miss @freedomfireflies again and let's just say that this series is on FIRE. A friends to lovers story that makes you feel things. One thing I love about this story is that the two characters share a deep love and respect for each other and I feel like it's such an important point.

Grumpy H and

You're my Last Shot by @cupid-styles are so cute and I had a great reading them! The flow is amazing in both of them and they are so well written.

Old Grudges ,

Just How Fast the Night Changes ,

The Sun Will Rise and

Valerie by @watchmegetobsessed are litterally amazing! Loved these stories so much! I come back to them from now and then and I have the same feeling every time I read them. 🥰

Harry’s a dick, and Y/N hates him for it. by @harrys-titties is so HSHJSHSSJ I just loved it! So beautifully written and it has everything: tension, angst, smut, romance!

Hawthorn by @adorebeaa is so beautiful! I enjoyed it so much! It is not finished yet but it is worth it! Again it's an enemies to lovers story and it really plays like a movie in your head! 💕

I got carried away a little bit hehe and I'm sure that if I continue I won't be able to stop lol. I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did! 💕

P.S Τhere are many other great authors that I didn't include in this post because I might just forgot them at the moment (sometimes when you need to remember something specific you just can't, your mind is just stuck ugh) or because I might not have come across their work yet so I don't want anyone to feel bad. Your work is always appreciated. 💗

Byeee xoxo

#fic recs #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff

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rootspiral · 7 days ago

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Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 4 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1])

It's episode 4 If I Can't Reach You / Let My Song Teach You, time for two of my favorite things: glam rock and homosexuals. which are basically the same thing if you think about it.

she's like damn, billy, that was ruthless. honestly this is going to make her care about billy even more, not only he's powerful, not only he reminds her of nicky. now he's a murderer too?? perfect son is perfect. I love how she's studying sharon's body with her detective Agnes face, her mind is going a million miles a minute

her third-wall-break winks destroy me. and that poor hairdo. all gone expect for the giant turd on top.

alice being truly and genuinely sorry about sharon. lilia and jen being gossiping hags

agatha honey you're so dainty and feminine, look at you. and that's an interesting and not at all painful tree shape you picked. (I would have never noticed any of this without brightening the scene, it's outrageous. everyone involved in this show is amazing except the lighting department. shame on you lighting department)

whatever alice does openly and sincerely, agatha does secretly or as a joke. parallels, parallels

jen is like, can you believe this bitch

without being asked, alice goes to help digging the grave

that is the idiot I fell in love with and I'm way past regretting my choices at this point!! I know how rio feels now

"coven two" is one of those lines that make you laugh on first view and shred your heart in a million tiny pieces at every following rewatch. this show HAS to be watched at least twice, don't ever trust reviews or complaints by ppl who didn't, because they missed at least half of what makes it great.

a clown running from the tragic truth that her son wrote the Ballad, making sad clown noises all over the Road

when alice is called to referee as the Resident Ballad Expert and agatha looks at her expectantly hands in pockets, somehow extremely obnoxious, extremely gay and extremely sad at the same time

alice is SO above bickering. jen is being a baby because she's mad at agatha, lilia is being a baby cause she's grumpy and a contrarian, billy is sixteen, agatha is, well, agatha. alice is the only adult in the building

just one, huh? that's fine. that's fine. who needs a heart anyway.

the common gypsophila or baby's breath symbolizes sincerity, purity, innocence. does it symbolizes sharon? or is billy leaving it on her grave a metaphor for his naivety and good intentions gone wrong?

billy's romantic ideals of what it means to be in a coven have just been shattered. he set out, consciously or not, to teach something to these witches and of course it didn't work. he is the one who needs guidance, he is the one who's making a mess of things. he's just a kid.

agatha going !! when billy says he wishes he could go home. agatha covertly pointing out that he has a replacement body and she would really like to know how. she's observing him so closely, trying to puzzle out the mystery. exactly like she did with wanda inside the Hex. not revealing her cards just yet, testing and manipulating him. when that strategy blew up in her face so spectacularly the first time! she's so smart and so reckless it makes her practically an idiot

case in point: she's making up stupid rules trying to manipulate billy into shaping the Road the way she wants. that's right, agatha. let's summon another poor victim you can siphon, wonder who's gonna show up! (and she KNEW sharon was laying dead ten feet away and SOMEONE was bound to be in the neighborhood. dumbass.)

aww he's so proud of himself for having brought the spellbook. he's being helpful! he's made his four moms happy!

check, debatable, check

debatable and debatable

I'm gonna give that one a BIG check

yes I know advil spells "vidal", thank you tumblr for letting me know that one. also same, alice.

'esse viridis non es facile' IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! oh I knew my high school latin was bound to come in handy at least once in my life

(by the way the set + costumes combo is giving me such hocus pocus vibes, but you could never tell because the SCENE IS SO FUCKING DARK) (NO I WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT IT)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

I mean girls, you chose to follow the head clown, you have to travel in the clown car. that's on you.

WHY IS THE PRINT SO SMALL???? I LOVE YOU PATTI LUPONE

admit it we all wished it was sharon for a moment

oh?? is that mayhaps someone you know, agatha???

and that's a wrap, see you guys tomorrow!

no, I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm doing another one tonight. I need to shove all the rio scenes in my eyeballs NOW

go to episode 4 part 2

#agatha all along #agatha deep dive #agatha harkness #alice wu gulliver #billy maximoff #lilia calderu #jennifer kale #character study

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yourheart-inmyhands · 7 months ago

Note

Hello, love your work. I would like to humbly request a Yan! Fremi with a reader who has cute aggression, saying how they'd blow up a forest or something idk. And maybe even Zhongli when in Dragon form if possible. Hopefully this makes sense and you have a great rest of the day.

I completely missed zhongli when reading this ask so i apologize but i did do freminet! uh feel free to request zhongli with this prompt again if you'd like, i wrote this while trying not to fall asleep so hopefully it's good <3

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including obsessive behaviors, delusional behaviors, vague threats of violence/destruction, and other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Freminet at first takes a bit to understand that you don’t literally mean you want to do all those things, and that it’s just an exaggerated means of expression. He’s never had someone talk to him like that before so it confuses him. What does starting a forest fire have to do with how much you love him?

Once he comes to understand that it’s simply how you are, he tries to do his best to respond similarly, to show you how much he loves you. Freminet is all about mirroring your behaviors and interacting with your interests to show that he cares. Sometimes it comes off as a little strange though, because he doesn’t have cute aggression in the same way you do, so his declarations of love sound more like ominous threats. They’re still very sweet though.

“I love you so much I would sink all of Fontaine into the darkest depths of the ocean.” Freminet’s resting neutral face almost makes this seem like a promise, the way his eyes stare unblinkingly at yours like he expects you to be pleased to hear that. It’s charming in a way, knowing he’d be willing to go so far for you, but it’s also unsettling because there’s a part of you that almost believes him. Freminet has shown little restraint when it comes to expressing his love in other ways, people have gone missing, places have been burnt down, and he truly doesn’t seem to hold back.

He’s trying his best here, but his love language is gift-giving. Freminet will try to be cute aggressive back to you, but making and giving you little gifts, cool trinkets he finds underwater, or things he spotted in the shops in Fontaine, this is where he excels.

He does try to incorporate the things you say into your gifts though, to add a more personal touch. It’s just the type of person he is, Freminet loves you dearly and wants nothing but the best for you, even if that means bringing truth to his imitation cuteness aggression.

#genshin x reader #genshin x male reader #genshin x gender neutral reader #yandere genshin x reader #yandere genshin x male reader #yandere genshin x gender neutral reader #freminet x reader #freminet x male reader #yandere freminet x reader #yandere freminet x male reader #yandere freminet x gender neutral reader #yandere genshin #genshin yandere #freminet yandere #yandere freminet

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kingofbodyrolls · 1 year ago

Text

BTS fic recs: November 2023

I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell, so minors dni.❗

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the original fic’s post to let them know that they’re appreciated 💜 And if you want more fic recs you can follow me to stay updated 🙂

BTS fic rec index → May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep (jjk)(knj) | Oct (pjm) | 💜 (*) | Dec (ksj)(kth) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, personal favorites = 💯.

Namjoon

⭐Friend or Fuck by @joonsmagicshop [8K] // knj x f.reader // f2l // 🥵

📝 A drunken night leads to a good morning.

🗨️ I really liked this 🥺 Namjoon was just so sweet, caring and gentle with OC. Really loved it 👏🏾 but why, oh why did Jungkook have to cockblock them 😂 I wanted the smut alright! The build up was so good, I was slightly frustrated with the ending 🙈 yes I’m a slut for smut okay 🙈 I’m hoping for a part two ✌🏾🙏🏾💜

⭐Emotions of the Soul 💯by @oddinary4bts [36.6K] // knj x f.reader // idol!au, childhood/teenage lovers to s2l2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 When Namjoon reappears in your life after thirteen years of absence, you find yourself unsure of what he means to you, and of what you mean to him. Anxiety reigns over you, but will it be enough to drag you away from Kim Namjoon?

🗨️ This is another masterpiece from Ella! She is incredible at writing idol!au’s that just feels so goddamn natural and real 👏 The way Namjoon is written is just perfection and OC with her struggles, and they are goddamn human, yes – and that’s one of the beautiful parts in it!!! 😭I also reminded me of my own teenage breakup (gosh I was stupid back then, but not because of the breakup lol 😂). Anyway, please go and read it! As with everything Ella write, this is another to add to my favorites 💜

Seokjin

Nothing this month 😞

Yoongi

⭐Workaholic 💯by @hobiwonder [10K] // myg x f.reader // “‘strangers” to lovers (I don’t want to spoil!) // 🥵😂🥰

📝 Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night.

🗨️ Wow okay, this was so freaking great! Like, what??? Incredible! A masterpiece! I really really loved it 🥺 everything was so fucking good, their chemistry, the tense build up ugh, so fucking good! 💯 ✨

⭐Little bit of your Heart by @yoongiofmine [wordcount loading…] // myg x f.reader, jjk x f.reader // exes!au, fwb!au // 🥵

📝 You had everything you could ever dream of; the career of your dreams as a music producer, the best friends you could ever wish for, and a exes-turned-friends-turned-fuck-buddies relationship with Min Yoongi. You knew you and Yoongi would never move past that and you were okay with it. Until a friend from your past comes back into your life, offering to give you everything you deserve, everything Yoongi couldn’t. Will Jungkook show you what you’ve been missing? Or will the new guy threaten Yoongi enough to do something about it?

🗨️ Yes here we go a new series from Ella! ✨ Yoongi already seems so done with Jungkook and they have barely spoken 😂 looking forward to how that develops 🤭

⭐What the Moon Saw + Stolen Tides 💯by @violetsiren90 // myg x f.reader // non-idol!au, f2l // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 In the words of the great Stevie Nicks, "Time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too."

🗨️ This is just so fucking beautiful. Everything. About. It. Period. 😭 It is emotional, it is young love, and it is tender and loving - like, Yoongi is just so sweet. Their timing sucks, but thankfully Violet wrote a beautiful drabble to give the couple a lovely ending! 💜 Truly, please go read it, it is so good I was crying and felt so good after, it’s sweet – OKAY I’M SOFT I know.

Hoseok

⭐Flight 18 💯by @noona-la-la-la [9.5K] // jhs x f. reader // flight!au, idol!au // 🥵😂

📝 Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

🗨️ This was just really really amazing; utterly funny (like I was laughing at certain points), so much sexual tension that evolves into satisfying smut 😗

Jimin

⭐The Airport Couple: P[ass]anger from Hell + Drabble 💯by @dovechim & @jimlingss [8K] // pjm x f.reader // e2l, frequent traveler jimin x tsa agent reader // 😂😂😂🥰

📝 As a TSA agent, you expect your job to be relatively easy, most passengers these days follow the rules to the T in order to avoid prolonging their custom checks. But not a certain Park Jimin, who seems to have a problem understanding what 100ml is, or the very simple fact that gadgets must be taken out of the bag, and bomb jokes are strictly off limits. Frequent traveller Park Jimin is your nemesis, but darn is he a cute one.

🗨️ This is just so fucking hilarious, don’t get me started. I laughed from beginning to end 😂 And it’s still as good as I remember, if not even better??? Like ✨ I’ve highlighted a few of my favorite parts from the fic. I don’t want to give too much away, but these lines are just so damn hilarious! Please go read it, it’s one of my faves 💯

⭐The Airport Couple: Park Jimin’s Cock[pit] 💯by @jimlingss & @dovechim [12K] // pjm x f.reader // pilot!au, bf2l, coworkers!au // 😂🥰🥵

📝 Talk about Angry Birds, and most people would immediately think of the mobile game app. But within your circle of friends, it stands for something else. It’s synonymous with Park Jimin, one of the most talented pilots from your batch who also just happens to have anger issues, or in other words, air rage. He is your best friend, but when you get teamed up with him as his co-pilot, you can only pray that things don’t go south… literally.

🗨️ I remember reading this a few years ago, and I loved it then and I still do ✨ It is incredibly funny, has good banter and dialogue to match. The chemistry between reader and Jimin is just priceless, their friendship is just pure giggles 🥹 It’s also fluffy and will tug on your heartstrings in the best way possible. Just really, really good and definitely also one of my all-time favorites 💯💜

⭐Flowers & Sex by @7deadlysinsfics [4.5K] // pjm x f.reader // fwb, f2l au, pwp // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 You’re in need of a warm body and a good fuck. who better than your friend park jimin?

🗨️ Just really cute 🥺 Hoseok (readers ex in this) is a douche though, like why did she have to go back to him ugh 🥴 but I like how the story developed and reader realized her feelings after she took her ex back. Loved Jimin and how he gave her flowers 💐 he was so fucking cute 🥺🌸

⭐Heaven with You by @acc3ssdenied [4.7K] // pjm x f.reader // friends to ??? // 🥵

📝 All good things happen after 2 am - at least, that was what you believed. Whoever thought it was a good idea for a group of twelve young adults to play drunk truth or dare obviously agreed with you.

🗨️ Oh this was some filthy smut 🥵 And that kiss with Taehyung was downright slutty – a really good pwp 🥵

⭐Have some Respect by @chim-chimmie [4.2K] // pjm x f.reader // school/college!au, teacher!jimin // 🥵

📝 Your teacher Park Jimin has had enough of you disrespecting him, so he taught you a little lesson.

🗨️ Okay, okay, I know the teacher x student dynamic is a touchy subject, and not always well executed, but hear me out, alright. This was so freaking sinful, like my soul needs to take a shower now??? 🥵

⭐Rush by @bangtanfanfiction [4K] // pjm x f.reader // idol!jimin // 🥵🥰

📝 After not seeing your boyfriend for several weeks, his latest performance definitely made something in you snap. And at a award show of all things.

🗨️ A good pwp with smut that is 🔥

⭐How Long? by @jiminniethemarshmallow [4K] // pjm x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 No summary!

🗨️ I also remember reading this a few years ago and it’s still so fucking hot and filthy 🥵

⭐Turbulence by @yminie [9.3K] // pjm x f.reader // flight!au // 🥵🥰

📝 On your first flight the cute boy next to you helps to sooth your nerves, and on the second flight he soothes something else.

🗨️ Gosh, I remember reading this a few years back and I’ve actually read it multiple times, it’s just so incredible 👏🏾 the smut is freaking hot, and Jimin is just 🤯 well, he’s being a sweet fluffball, but then a smexy God 🥵 like wtf! The duality is insane! One of my favorites and I’m looking forward to rereading part two ✨💜

⭐Accelerate by @yminie [8.9K] // pjm x f.reader // flight!au // 🥵🥰

📝 Jimin comes to retrieve his jacket on the condition that you then accompany him for dinner, and you can bet he satiates every hunger.

🗨️ I haven’t re-read this yet – but I remember I loved it 💜(I’ll insert my rec here when I have read it again).

Taehyung

Nothing this month 😞

Jungkook

⭐Love à Trois [series; ongoing] by @letjungcoook7 [13.1K] // jjk x f.reader x pjm // slice of life, f2l+s2l, roommates!au, college!au, love triangle // 🥵🌩️

📝 You and Jimin secretly have feelings for each other, you both realize your dream of studying at the same college and sharing an apartment, but when financial issues start to arise, you have to seek a third roommate. and guess who fate sends your way? Jungkook, the same guy who took your virginity back in high school.

🗨️ This is really good! There’s two chapters up so far and they are really good! It’s so interesting to see the love triangle unfold. Really enjoyed this 🌸 It’s just getting better and better ✨ I really loved the backstory of how both Jimin and OC realized they had feelings for each other 🥺 so good and really looking forward to the next chapter 😍

⭐Sweet Obsession by @letjungcoook7 [2.5K] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship, plussize!reader // 🥵🥰

📝 When a coworker starts to show interest in you, your boyfriend becomes jealous.

🗨️ Whaaaaaaaat 🥹This was so incredibly sweet and tender! As a plus-sized curvy girl, this was such a good and lovely read 💖 Another banger from Lua💜

⭐The Wedding Planners 💯by @gukyi [28K] // jjk x f.reader // e2l, wedding!au // 😂🥰🌩️🥵

📝 Jeon jungkook is three things: cocky, terrible, and your worst enemy. then your best friend hoseok gets engaged to the love of his life, and suddenly jeon jungkook is four things: cocky, terrible, your worst enemy, and the man you will be spending the next seven months with in order to plan your best friend’s wedding.

🗨️ I also remember reading this a few years ago and it was just a very funny and pleasant reread 💜 What I love about this is one, is definitely the slow-burn and the enemies to lovers aspect too. The banter between reader and Jungkook is just so priceless and reading how their relationship slowly unfolds and develops through the months of the wedding planning was just everything 💯 Hoseok and Yoongi’s personality in this also makes this fic truly amazing.

⭐Fragment of the Past (1)(2)(3) [series; completed] 💯by @ctrlsht [28.1K] // jjk x f.reader // patient!jk x psychiatrist!reader // 🌩️😈👻🥵

📝 You are a well-known and respected psychiatrist and author. You start treating Jungkook, who suffers from PTSD after surviving an extremely traumatic incident. As you help him confront his traumatic past, he begins to act strangely, and you start uncovering something about him that will change everything.

🗨️ Another first for me, with the thriller vibes and damn it delivers on that! It’s really, really good 👏 Pacing is really good and how we see more and more of Jungkook’s disturbing traits is just brilliant ✨If you want my full review of it, you can find it here (it does contain spoilers though!). And I really think you shouldn’t spoil it! Just go read it if you’re into the darker stuff, because my heart was racing so damn fast! This is the best thriller yandere au I’ve read to date 💜

⭐Lost on You by @letjungcoook7 [2.1K] // jjk x f.reader // established relationship // 🥵

📝 You're just so obsessed with your boyfriend. you would do anything for him.

🗨️ Ehm excuse me Lua, mirror sex???? 🥵 Fucking hell that was a hot one, like I almost feel like I need to take a shower 😂 another banger from you! And the dirty talking too, aish 🥵 💖

OMG November has truly been an exceptional month! There was my 30th birthday of course, and then I received so my love for my series ‘friendcation’ that I was crying with all the beautiful words and reviews I got 😭 I am so thankful for every one of you, whether you interact with my fic recs or my own – thank you! 💜

Borahae 💜

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ahsxual · 11 months ago

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Hi! Your writing is wonderful, and I wanted to wish you the best of luck on your exams in advance 🥰 could you imagine the stoic Sang-woo proposing to his girlfriend? Idk the idea of him being in a relationship and coming to terms with his emotions fascinates me. Thanks!

Sweet Proposal

Pairing: Cho Sang-woo x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2,2k

A/N: Awww thank you, dear anon! I truly appreciate your kind words, it means the world to me 🥺💓 I have to say that I agree with you and I absolutely loved your idea for this request! I hope you enjoy my writing and I wish you the best <33 I wrote this request a long time ago and never posted it idk why, but here goes (my apologies🥺)

You and Sang-woo have been dating a few years now: you met him through his mother, the woman who you visited everytime you passed by her store and who you always bought something fresh to eat. Her products were of great quality, besides the fact that she was the kindest woman you have ever met in your entire life. She treated you like her own daughter/son, and since you lived by yourself in south korea, you really appreciated having someone who you could count on. Whenever you had a bad day, you would tell her and she would help you by giving you the best advices from her life experience, so your relationship was pretty close. Until one day, her son visited her, and that's when you met the love of your life.

"Good morning, miss Cho!" you greeted your second mother as you liked to call her, only for her to turn to you with the biggest smile and bright eyes on her face, as always. However, this time she had company.

"Oh, my sweet Y/N! Come here sweetie, please let me introduce you my wonderful son, Cho Sang-woo!" she seemed so excited, in contrast to her son who seemed pretty serious and uncomfortable with the all situation.

"Hey." he simply said with a low, yet neutral tone, making you realize that he was quite the opposite from his mother: she shined even in the darkest days, while he somehow brings darkness wherever he goes to. But the fact that he had such a hard personality to deal with and understand, instead of pushing you away, only made you even more curious about that mysterious man. Besides the fact that he is incredibly handsome, but that's another story.

"Hey there! I'm L/N Y/N, nice to meet you." you put your hand in front of him so you wouldn't be just standing there looking awkwardly at each other. He looked at it for a second, before taking it and shaking it gently, like he was afraid to break your way smaller hand.

"I'm so happy you finally met my son! I'm sure you two will get along just perfectly!" her joy was contagious, yet her own son didn't seem to let his mother's charm get him. You heard her talking about her amazing son so many times, saying how he was a kind man, and extremely intelligent and responsible. Yet, here he is, looking like his life was a complete chaos.

"Yeah, I'm sure we will." you answered shyly, only for him to look at you with a surprised expression. You simply smiled at him, making him blush slightly at your cuteness.

Now you are in the bed with your soulmate by your side, watching him sleep peacefully: who would have known you two would get here? Together?? You didn't know the right answer for that as well, but the truth is that life can really surprise you.

You were Sang-woo’s first love: the only person who stood with him no matter how many problems he had, both professionally and psychologically. You would never give up on him, and that's what made him realize you were the love of his life, the soulmate he was unconsciously looking for so desperately. No one would ever guessed, but one of Sang-woo’s main goals in his life is creating a family who loved and supported him until the end, to feel the happiness and comfort of waking up every day next to his significant other. However, before meeting you, his problem was that he never had the patience or motivation to find love or to continue to please his possible partner until they fell for him. No, he wanted to focus on his professional career first, the rest just being mere details. What made him fall for you, was your dedication to be with him and build a promising life by his side, supporting him and helping him whenever he needed: you were also the first and only person who he told about his fears, insecurities and feelings about certain topics, but only after a few, long months of building trust and courage. And you did the same: you considered him your best friend, because he always helped you with the most racional advices, which were the best in your opinion.

After a few minutes of analyzing lovingly every feature that you knew so well of your loved one, you noticed him moving slightly and groaning from waking up from his precious sleep.

"Good morning, tough guy." you joked, only to receive a confused expression from him just before he rolled his reddish eyes and laugh at the nickname.

"Good morning, babe." his voice was so deep that it made you have inappropriate thoughts, however you knew he was too tired for it right now. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I actually did. As for you, I think I don't even have to ask." you laughed at his still sleepy state, before putting your legs over him and hug his long torso. He pulled you closer, closing the space that separated your hungry lips before kissing you slowly, yet with the perfect amount of passion and love.

"Yeah, I really needed to rest my mind and body from yesterday." you shyly laughed at him before hitting his arm when he reminded you from your passionate love session from the night before.

"You silly!" the moment you called him that, he rolled you over so he could be on top.

"Call me that again and see what happens." he warned you with a serious face, yet you knew him better. He was obviously messing with you, and you would be lying if you said you didn't like his demanding behavior.

"Can you join me in the shower, babe? Please?" you decided to change the subject, giving him the pleading look that you knew he couldn't resist.

"Yeah, sure." he smiled before giving you a quick kiss on the lips. "Just wait for me, I'll be right back."

"Ok, I'll wait for you." you gave him a last peck on his lips, before making your way to the bathroom, unconscious of what was coming for you.

That day your boyfriend invited you to dinner at a fancy restaurant, so you thought it would be a simple date like the many you've had before. But this time, he had promising plans for you and your future together, something you weren't expecting to happen so soon. It was already 7:30 pm, so he called you to hurry so you could be on time at the restaurant.

"I'm coming!" you warned your handsome boyfriend, before you appeared in front of him dressing your favorite date outfit that he bought you a few days ago.

"You look gorgeous, sweetheart." his eyes were full of love, admiration and pride for you, making your heart melt with happiness. You felt so loved at that moment... you still couldn't believe you were dating that man.

"Thank you, love. Let's go." you thanked him, before leaving your house and walk to get into his expensive black car.

You and Sang-woo arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes earlier, so you took your time to sit at your reserved table. The restaurant was outstanding: everyone was dressed nicely and the environment was peaceful and romantic; it was an expensive and well known restaurant from your city, which made you feel important. You also felt really happy to know that your boyfriend took you on a date at a very welcoming and beautiful place: it meant that he really loved you and makes a real effort to build up your relationship by changing your routine from time to time, which was healthy for both of you.

A few hours passed and you talked about everything and anything: your plans for your future together, funny stories that happened in your childhood that you didn't know about, how work was going and who are the people you like or dislike... it was a really nice, yet nostalgic and interesting conversation. After that, he insisted to pay your dinner. You felt bad, so he promised next time you could pay, which you knew he was lying.

When you left the restaurant, hand in hand, he told you that his plans for that night weren't done yet.

"I need you to do something for me, honey." your future husband said as soon as you entered the car. You looked at him suspiciously, waiting for whatever was coming. "Close your eyes." he simply said.

"What? Why would you-"

"Just trust me, ok? It's not like I'll kidnap you or something." he made sure to use his sarcasm to relax you a little bit, indirectly telling you that he wasn't going to do anything bad.

"I wouldn't mind if you did so." your sassy comment made him laugh quietly, before you closed your eyes and heard his car running.

Minutes passed and you were starting to get bored with having your eyes closed for so long. At least his strong grip on your inner thigh kept you entertained during the car trip. Suddenly, you felt the car stop slowly, and that's when you realized you had finally arrived at your destination. You were about to open your eyes, when you felt a smack on your thigh.

"Ah! I didn't say you could open your eyes already, did I?" his demanding tone made you internally scream and blush hard, but you needed to remain calm to not lead things to another way, since you didn't want to ruin the plans he made for you.

He helped you getting out of the car, before putting his hand on your waist to guide you to the place where he would make the big proposal.

"Open your eyes, love." he whispered into your ear. The moment you opened your eyes, tears instantly made their way to your warm cheeks: you could watch and admire each star on the sky, shining in your direction; it was full moon night, which made you think that Sang-woo chose this specific night for that reason; in front of you, you could also see and hear the calm and relaxing dark-blue sea moving at a slow and therapeutical pace. It was the most romantic moment you ever had and even imagined. You were too focus on the ocean and the brilliant stars above you, that you didn't even notice what was written on the sand: "Will you marry me, Y/N?" was written in huge and well marked letters. This made your heart beat at an incredibly fast pace and your vision to go blurry due to the emotional warm tears that wanted to escape from your eyes.

"Baby, what's all of thi-" when you turned around in hope that the man of your life would explain what was happening at that moment, even tho you knew already, you saw him kneeling instead, looking at you nervously with a small black box on his hands which contained a shining ring inside.

"L/n Y/n, I know I'm not the best lover sometimes due to my emotionless personality, however you liberate a more loving, caring and passionate side of me that I never knew I could have until I met you. I never thought I could be so in love with someone... and to be honest, I didn't even know what was love before I kissed you for the first time. I'm sorry for all the times I made you upset, but I promise I'll be a better person for you. So... will you marry me, my love?" you never saw your boyfriend being so open with his feelings, not even towards you, so you knew this was extremely hard for him and that all what he was saying was the pure truth. Also for the first time you noticed Sang-woo cry in front of you, even though he remained with a neutral facial expression.

Deep inside, you knew he feels a lot, he just used this "mask" to hide his vulnerability and pretend he is emotionless. But with you, he doesn't feel the need to pretend to be strong all the time. And that's when he realized it was you who he was going to marry and spend the rest of his life with.

You couldn't help but cry in front of him, his action caughting you by surprise, in a good sense.

"Of course my love, of course I will marry you!! There is nothing I desire more than to have you as my husband." he smiled until his cheeks started to get sore: this moment was unique and special for both of you. You always made him forget any pain he might feel. He quickly stood up and picked up into his arms, spinning you over and over again until you both felt almost dizzy.

That night was unforgettable for both of you, and now that you had a wedding ring on your finger, you couldn't think about anything else than stepping onto the altar and marry the man of your dreams.

#cho sangwoo x y/n #cho sang woo x reader #cho sangwoo #cho sangwoo x reader #cho sang woo #squid game fanfic #sangwoo squid game #squid game fic #squid game imagines #squid game x reader #squid game x y/n #squid game x you #sangwoo x reader #sangwoo x y/n #sangwoo fluff #cho sangwoo x you #squid game fluff #squid game x male reader

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mothbart · 1 month ago

Note

Favorite fanfiction(s) at the moment? Thanks!! :)

ayo let me....let me share...also im gonna be so fr most of these people are my friends so! let me be biased!

blue lock:

as it goes by cityboys (rin/bachira. truly one of my favorite fics, i've reread it so many times)

the marauders:

get him back by @sixlane (jegulus, incredible james potter, lane really just gets every character down perfectly)

before sunrise by @angel-daydreams (jegulus, cyborg au??? AMAZING)

making ghosts by @itsjaywalkers (jegulus. this is hands down one of my favorite fics by laurie, like making ghosts is something i think about 24/7. ghost hunters au)

light as a ghost (on my mind you weigh the most) by @static-radio-ao3 (jegulus. don't even get me started how much i think about this fic it's ofc more ghost hunters but mil just knows exactly how to tug on heart strings)

god is real (he was sleeping in my bed last night) by @regscupid (jegulus. TRULY a fucking banger fic god jegulus porn what else could you possibly want)

inertia by @licnheartedd (jegulus. kit has put so much of their heart and soul into this fic and it's so obvious. i will never get over how talented they are, like i could write an essay on how incredible their writing is)

we'll be just fine (even when i lose my mind) by @spacexcowgirl (jegulus. my rosie posie wrote this fic and i adored it amazing wonderful but also so is rose so)

ecliptic by @magswrite (jegulus. I AM ECLIPTIC'S BIGGEST FAN AND NO ONE CAN TAKE THAT TITLE AWAY FROM ME)

cherry bomb! @honeybcj (bartylily. i hope mack knows how much i think about this fic. i will never move on from it actually)

kick drum heart by @theapocryphaofantares (jegulus. THE FIC THAT INTRODUCED ME TO KOLOWV AKA MY BEST FRIEND love him love this fic just love all around)

winterlude by @otrtbs (jegulus. if you have not read winterlude you are truly missing out because the dynamic between jegulus in this fic is one of my faves i think about it often!!!)

jamie doesn't know by @transsexualpriest (bartylily. i am selfishly putting this here because drac was so kind to write this for me for my birthday and i still read it from time to time)

you've got me down on my knees (it's getting harder to breathe) by @messymoony (t4t jegulus. lookin' for some great t4t jeggy?? dw mar's got you)

turn your back on mother nature by @poetskings (jegulus. STORM CHASERS???? amazing. i think about this fic so often too, si killed me with this one actually)

jjk:

built your walls around me by alkhale (itafushi)

here be dragons by kwiewi (tojikuna. sammy writes literally the best tojikuna, every fic is a fucking masterpiece but also sammy is just an incredible writer. i'll never get enough of it)

here and where you are by cityboys (itafushi. can u tell i love cityboys)

愛のある場所; river of light (that brings me to you) by cosmichorrour (satosugu. this fic has made me cry a million times with each read. it's so beautifully well done)

coanda effect by bunniehoney (satosugu. idk jack shit about f1 but when i tell you that the author did such an amazing job explaining everything, you'll feel like a pro reading it.)

#india's recs

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prolix-yuy · 6 months ago

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Hello friends! It's been way way way way WAY too long since we chatted, and to be honest I've been taking an embarrassingly long time to write this update post because godDAMN life just gets you sometimes and you go on an impromptu hiatus that gets super messy. So let's get into what's been going on and what to look forward to!

Pedro Tax for this long-ass post.

(We're gonna get into some personal stuff, but if you're just here for what's coming up skip down to WHAT'S NEXT for the tl;dr version)

So beyond work getting hectic from January to March, which was the catalyst for everything getting wacky, I experienced a weird emotional turn that I wasn't expecting. It made me get a little introspective, which I blame some of my productivity slump on.

As I was finishing up the Bangathon entries, I noticed a sharp decline in interaction. I'm a fairly young fic writer on Tumblr, but I was a little baffled as to why stories I'd posted only a week before got a nice bit of interaction yet the newer ones were only getting half to a quarter of what I expected. For a minute I thought I had been shadowbanned (I was not) or I hadn't tagged the posts (I had) or my taglists weren't working (they were). People were already talking about interaction being lower, so I sat back and tried to go with the flow and not let it bother me. I posted Decoherence, which has a more niche audience, but I was definitely missing and wishing for some of the comments and reblogs I thought I might get.

All this led up to one of the least favorite voices in my head saying something that stuck around:

"Well, you were right not to become a writer if your motivation is this closely tied to feedback."

If you're new here or I haven't talked about it much recently, I initially was planning to be a writer. Went to school for it and everything. While I was there I felt like I hadn't found the stories I wanted to tell yet. My colleagues were developing in their niches and writing "the great American novel" and I didn't feel like I fit in. My stories had a lukewarm reception, and I never felt like anyone was excited about anything I was trying to say. So I wrote myself into burnout by the time I graduated with not much to show for it. I ended up doing a career switch, which I love to this day, but I stopped writing for almost 10 years.

Coming to Tumblr, I felt that spark of excitement writing again, and some of that was definitely due to people commenting and being excited or interested in the stories I was sharing. That truly revived something in me I thought was long gone, and reflecting back on the last two years that I've been sharing stories with this community makes me wildly emotional. I didn't know how much I missed of the life I left behind, and how much joy it brought me to share stories again.

Which is why it was SUPREMELY FRUSTRATING to have that shitty little voice pulverize my productivity and excitement over something as silly as interaction. But I'm sure most of you know how hard it is to get that voice out of your head. I worked to write things I found fun and less stressful than the series I already felt bad for not updating. And while I still love those stories, it felt like I was pulling them from an inauthentic place and finishing them wasn't as satisfying as I'd hoped.

Thus the hiatus! I stopped writing and turned my attentions to consuming and creating in other ways. I watched some shows I'd been meaning to catch up on, started planning to buy a house, worked my butt off at the day job. And I was starting to feel like inspiration was coming back. I didn't want to spook it so I took my time and promised myself I was going to start small and not stress about getting stories out for a bit.

Top that off with some medical surprises, an upcoming surgery, and a little re-evaluation of life moving forward and things have been wild. But I've been missing the daily joy I get from being part of this fandom, and I'm getting back into being here more because I miss you guys! AND! I have stories I want to share and fun to be had. So let's shake off all the heavy shit and get to the fun stuff!

WHAT'S NEXT!

The big thing I'm getting ready to post (after teasing it for so long) is the 2024 Bangathon! This one is different from last year's because instead of requesting stories from me, the Bangathon is open to anyone who wants to participate! There will be a randomizer to play with, and some fun bonuses for those who participate. The announcement will be coming out soon, stay tuned!

As for fics, here are some updates on what's in my WIPs:

Series:

I Think of You: I spent some time rewatching Mando for the newest installment, and I've finally gotten the thread of where to go next thought out. It's been a long time coming so this one's gonna be BEEFY to make up for it.

SW!Frankie: I am crushed to realize it's been over a year since I posted any SW!Frankie! I've got a new story about him and Ms J moving in together I need to finish, then some more asks that are getting into new story arcs I'm excited to share!

Best Laid Plans: Dieter and Murch's first date is bouncing around in my head and I NEED to get it on paper. There's much fun to be had, and I've been binge listening to my playlist for them to get into the headspace.

Midnight Alley: I got all up in my own head about continuing the story with these two and lost a little steam, so I'm going to ease off my "big plans" and start smaller with some oneshots instead. I think it'll help me find out where I want this story to go.

One Shots in Progress:

Decoherence Follow-Up

Incubus!Dieter Ask

You know, laying it out like that makes it feel much more manageable than my brain was telling me! I'm also planning to prioritize more fic reading while I'm getting these updates in ship-shape. Reading your stories always helps get my creative juices flowing, and there are so many good ones lingering in my TBR list that I need to devour.

This has been a rollercoaster of emotions, so thank you for coming on the ride with me. I'm excited to bring more of myself back to Tumblr and have fun with all of you again! To many more stories!

#prolix wips #I'm sorry I've been away for so long!#but I'm back!#if there are things I missed please tag me or send them!#I want to read all your stories!

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wonton4rang · 5 months ago

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

that's not how this works.

pairing: sungho x reader.

warnings: +18, smut, mentions of cheating.

summary: based on charlie puth's song 'that's not how it works', with some changes because yes. basically cheater coming back and sungho fucking the shit out of you < 3

note: small thought i had to get out, wrote this in like 15 min, did not check anything so it might have typos but omg sungho is soooo hot 😭😭😭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

sungho was never the type to sleep around, he is a very relationship centered boy, he loved to have something stable with an specific person to woke up to and think about when things were getting heavy on his daily life.

he loved to have dates, go to the park and sit down on a mat while you ate whatever and talked about everything while laughing like it was the funniest thing. he loved to stay late nights at your place and kiss you for so long you both wouldn't even notice when you fell asleep until you woke up the other morning with the boy arms around your waist and his head on your shoulder while cuddled you from the back.

it was all so lovely. so endearing and everyone, including yourselves could see this long term.

that until you messed up.

sungho couldn't believe his eyes the day he was texting you while walking down the street, smiling like a dummy to his phone screen.

"i miss you so much, baby, can i make you dinner at my place today?" sungho typed.

"awww, i miss you so much too, sungho :( but i can't today, i have so much work to do with the finals. i'm so sorry..."

and sungho was not even going to complain, the opposite, in fact, he was going to offer you help or at least offer to send you food to your place for you to study in peace.

but he got distracted when he heard your voice a few meters away, you were standing in front of that cafe you both loved so much with your phone on your hands, apparently waiting for his answer and he just smiled candidly at your sight.

he loved you so much.

right before he could lift his hand and call your name another person joined the frame, making him frown his eyebrows when the boy held your waist and you just looked at him with a wide smile, putting your phone away and walking down the street with the other male holding your hand.

and he wasn't even mad right now, he was just confused as to what the fuck just happened. he might've got it wrong, right? maybe that boy was a family member or a close friend, not necessarily a lover, right?

oh, boy. sungho was trying by all means to make this a misunderstanding.

sad thing for him it wasn't. cause when you guys met the next day and he mentioned that he saw you at the cafe, you went pale, your hands shaking and you suddenly stuttering a lot with every word you said.

at the end he just called it quits after a few weeks of you ignoring him and his words whenever he brought the subject up.

changing the subject with a "oh my god, not this again, babe, i already explained this. i don't wanna talk about it"

but as much as sungho loved you, he wasn't a fan of cheaters or toxic environments so he just broke up with you, not giving you much details but his words being very blunt and explicit.

"i've loved you for many years but i can't be in a relationship were i am the only one committed. i don't like cheaters and i no longer feel comfortable with you. i wish you the best, thank you for everything you gave me"

and he was truly thankful because even though he cried like a baby for a whole month while going to sleep, ignoring your messages and not picking up your calls, he was thankful for the good moments and the bad ones too. he got great memories and a good lesson.

what he didn't expect was you in front of his apartment when he came back from college that night, looking so sorry but he knew better than that so he just passed by your side and opened his door without saying a thing, barely reacting when you pushed him away and got inside his house.

"what are you doing here? i thought i was clear when i said i didn't wanna see you anymore" he said still standing on his door frame, making space for you to leave as he said: "go away"

"i've missed you so much, i'm... i'm so sorry, sungho, i made a mistake and i-"

"we already talked about this, y/n" his voice sounded tired, he was in fact, because he couldn't believe you were so shameless to show up to him like this right when he was getting over you. "i don't care about your excuses, we are not a thing anymore"

"but we could be"

"no, we couldn't"

"but i-"

"you're not gonna leave?"

"please just let me talk"

"i already left you talk and all you could say was bullshit, y/n, i'm done with you, i don't want to be with you anymore and i sincerely hope you could understand that because you hurt me, okay?"

"why you gotta be so hot when you're mad?" sungho just chuckled, closing the door behind him and looking at you with his tilted head, bottom lip between his teeth and his expression yelling 'what am i supposed to do with you?', and honestly, you were up for anything.

"you gonna do the same to him too?" was all he said, swallowing when you got close to him, caressing his shoulders with a sly smile that made him tense.

"we broke up"

and even though sungho tried to play it nice, he wanted to be the bigger person so bad, he just wanted to keep it healthy. but here you were, too close to be apart and too hot to be ignored.

sungho was a weak man.

so he just took you in for a kiss, but not the soft type as you guys were used to, he grabbed the back of your head to press your lips harder and your arms hugged his waist to get closer.

you guys were just so hungry for each other.

sungho's hands were all over your body, holding your hips, your shoulders and then your face, his tongue getting in your mouth and making your pussy leak cause he knew how you liked it.

it didn't take him long to walk against you, your back pressing against the boy's bedroom door before he opened it and threw you on the bed. your eyes were sparkling when you looked at him take his shirt off and lay upon you to continue the kiss.

your legs were open and sungho's hips kept rolling against your clothed cunt, making you tremble and moan during the kiss, your nails pressing on the skin of his wide back and making him groan too.

"fuck, i need you" he said before attacking your neck, playing with your sanity when he started moaning against your skin, leaving long trails with his mouth before he looked you in the eye. "can i?"

and there was a reason you were there at night.

you just nodded and felt him unbuckling your pants, caressing the skin on your thighs when he pulled them down with your panties.

his eyes stayed fixated on your pussy, licking his lips before shaking his head to come back to his senses. he wanted to eat you out so bad but he knew he shouldn't, not right now. he had to fuck you.

and so he did.

he unbuckled his own pants and pulled out his dick, sliding it between your wet folds and making your legs shake a bit at the feeling. damn, you really missed it. but it got even better when he finally pressed his head in your entrance, looking at you like you were the most delicious meal, foxy eyes being slightly covered by his hair and his lips looking so wet that it made you clench your pussy. he was, in fact, the most delicious meal you ever got.

"you have condoms?" he inquired and you just denied with your head, your hands pressing on his back.

"please, get in" sungho kinda pulled back at that because he was not used to fuck you without protection, but you held him close and looked at him with that bright eyes that made him weak "please"

not a single word left his lips when he was pushing inside and once he got in, you had to arch your back, moaning at the stretch, sungho was definitely gifted, not huge but a nice size and width. and the best part was that he actually knew how to use it.

he held your hips and thrusted in a few times before actually starting to moan himself, biting his lip and your hands tangled in his hair, gosh, he loved when you did that.

his weight dropped a little bit in top of you, his lips moving quickly to find yours and start a desperate kiss while his hips kept speeding up, making your body move against the sheets and your hair get all messed up.

but you really didn't mind to be messed up, not when it was sungho the one who messed you up.

and he knew that. everyone fucking knew that.

"you feel so good, sungho" you muttered when he left your lips and hid his face on your neck, crying a little bit out of pleasure there and making your pussy clench "fuck, you're so hot"

"stop saying that" but you know he loved it, his body spoke for him the things his words were denying "my god, you're so wet and warm"

"just for you"

"you suck me in s-so well" he continued, this time leaving your neck to look at you while he pounded your tight cunt "perfect for my dick, and just my dick, right, baby?"

"yes, i'm only yours, please"

and to be honest you both were edging at this point, so you just left yourself go and started matching sungho's thrusts to chase your own high, smiling when his hand grabbed softly around your neck, hard enough to make you feel the rush but not as hard to hurt you.

"i'm cumming" he announced and even though you thought he may want to pull out, he didn't, instead he pressed himself so deep in your pussy that you shaked when you felt him in your cervix.

"dammit" you moaned when the warm liquid filled you, making you feel so dirty, full and even wetter that it made your orgasm arrive while sungho's softly grinded his hips against your clit "oh god, w-wait"

"i know you fucking love it"

and you did.

but it was kinda sad though because as soon as you came, he pulled out, started putting his pants back on and looking for his shirt on the bedroom floor.

you looked at him confused because he never, and i mean NEVER, left you like that after having sex, where was the after care? he didn't even kiss you or said you did well.

the next thing was what actually made you snap, him giving you your pants with a serious look in his face.

"what?" his voice was neutral, no feeling on it, not happiness, not anger, nothing.

"what's wrong?" you said while you took your pants and looked at him, you were still full of his cum, he didn't even pass you a tissue or a paper towel to clean yourself.

"about what? ain't you leaving?"

"sungho, what the fuck is this?" the sound of anger in your voice made sungho look at you confused while you put your pants on "we just had sex, why are you treating me like this?"

"we are not dating, i was pretty clear about that"

"but we just..." he just stayed put, listening to whatever you were going to say "i thought we made up"

"wow, for real? i'm not that easy though" and you damn knew his words had a double meaning when he just looked at you and laughed "anyways, get out of my apartment, let's get you a taxi, it's late"

and you couldn't say anything against it, he was right, you guys were not together, he never said he'll forgive you and, to be honest, you kinda had it coming.

but you tried one last time before he left your side once you got in the taxi.

"sungho, i am really sorry, he is not as good as you and i... i honestly miss you so much, can't we just try again?"

"you know that's not how it works, y/n. did you really break up with him before coming here?" you went silent and he got his answer "yeah, i thought so. i don't fuck with cheaters, pun intended, you can't be coming over or calling me each time you feel lonely or he fucks up"

"but i-"

"i don't deserve that. and neither does he" he cut you up and it was basically game over "get her home safe, sir, please"

the taxi man just nodded and the car finally left, you feeling like the worst person in the world while you texted your current boyfriend that you were going home.

sungho just watched the car go and smiled for himself because he knew you'll come back but this time it won't be the same as before.

because now sungho knew the drill. he was just wishing on a star that he would be able to push you away when you came back because that's not how it was supposed to work.

#boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor imagines #boynextdoor smut #boynextdoor scenarios #sungho x reader #sungho imagines #sungho smut #sungho scenarios

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ponderingmoonlight · 1 year ago

Note

Heyyy! I wanted to say i rlly luv your fanfic and it would be great if you wrote a nanami kento one with prompt 6 🩵✨

There you go! Sorry this took me quite some, guess I'm too much of a hurt writer. But since 3 people requested prompt 6 with Nanami, I just couldn't let this one slide. Hope you like it though <3 I also added Promp 64 to this! 6. "I'm not crying. It's not worth crying." 64. "Don't be stupid, I'm not leaving you."

Beautiful mistake

Pairing: Nanami Kento x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,8k

Synopsis: You are in a secret but healthy relationship with none other than Nanami Kento despite being the sunshine to his rain. Until one day, you accidentaly spoil your secret to Gojo Satoru.

Warning: None, slight language like always

Your heart is pounding against your ribcage. The sun has just set, which means he’ll be here any second. You nervously fumble on the hem of your sundress. Do you look good? Hopefully he likes your new dress.

It’s always weird to meet outside of Jujutsu High in everyday clothes. Of course you should be used to it by now, considering that it’s been like this for two years now. Nanami and you decided it is best to keep your relationship private, far away from work. Therefore no one knows about your meetings late at night or the fact that you basically live at Nanami’s place. And this is just fine, perfect the way it is.

“There you are, sweetheart. Is this dress new? It suits you very well.”

The sound of his voice alone sends shivers down your spine, you greet your boyfriend with a wide grin and a tight hug. As usual, he smells absolutely breathtaking good. You need to finally ask him about his perfume.

“Glad you came”, you reply, face buried in his suit.

You love the fact that he’s always wearing suits, it definitely does something to you.

“You know I would never miss spending an evening with you. Here, I just couldn’t show up empty-handed.”

He hands you a gorgeous bouquet of purple, white and rose flowers, perfectly arranged and coordinated. You smile to yourself, taking in the delicious scent of lavender that now hangs in the air. Words can’t express how much you love the man standing in front of you. Even if he acts aloof and uninterested, he has a heart of gold. Suddenly you feel overwhelmed by your feelings, tears water your eyes. Unlike Nanami, you are terrible at hiding your feelings.

“I’m not going to cry”, you whisper to yourself, fanning air into your face to stop the tears from running.

“It’s not worth crying, I bring you flowers almost every time. But I’m glad you like them.”

Strange how your frequent bursts of emotion don’t bother him at all while everyone else is getting on is nerves. You truly are something special for him, the sunshine that scared away his rain, the joy that helps him to overcome his numbness. You are a gift, a true sweetheart, loved by everyone who knows you. Maybe this is the reasons why no one seems to even notice the chemistry between you two when working together as jujutsu-sorcerers. You are an absolutely poor liar, bad at hiding your feelings and the blush that creeps up your cheeks whenever you look at him. Even an untrained eye would be able to see your affection towards him – everyone expect members of Jujutsu High, as it seems.

“How was your day? Did your mission go well?”

“Oh, not at all. I’m glad you weren’t assigned to accompany me”, he signs and takes off his glasses.

Your hand gently brushes through his thick blonde hair. You can tell by one look at his tired gaze that this day was rough.

“Maybe I would have been able to help you.”

He gifts you a small but gentle smile, hands wrapped around your waist.

“Sure, but I just can’t risk you getting hurt because of helping me.”

“You know that’s also my job, right?”, you tease him.

“And you know that your job sucks, right?”

You can’t help but giggle at his response, the warm feeling in your chest keeps growing and growing. How is it that one man can make your life feel so much better just by his sheer existence? You simply cannot imagine carrying on without Nanami anymore.

“And you know that I love you, right?”

Your hands gently cup his face while your body aches to close the minimal distance between your bodies. Oh, how much you’d love to stay in this position forever, for the sun to never go down this evening. But you know all too well that tomorrow will be an exhausting day with a meeting of all higher up jujutsu-sorcerers that you and Nanami have to attend. It would be foolish to stay here any longer. But still you want to let these delicious seconds of togetherness melt on your tongue.

“Well, considering you already told me 13 times today alone, I sure hope so”, he replies before pressing his soft lips against yours.

You simply can’t believe it. The man that is holding you is the love of your life, the one you want to marry someday, the only one who has the key to your heart. Even though you are the complete opposite of him, even though no one seems to even be aware of the fact that you are in a relationship, you are absolutely mesmerized and obsessed with him.

“I hate to say it, but I think it’s better to get home. After all, we have to be up early in the morning for that stupid meeting”, he growls against your lips, face twisted in annoyance.

“How much I hate it when you’re right”, you sign while taking in his delicious scent.

“But that happens quite often. Come on, I’ll cook us dinner tonight.”

-Next day-

“There you are, golden girl!”, Gojo cries out in excitement as soon as you enter the room.

You gift him a breathtaking smile. In some way, you and Satoru are pretty similar to each other. Almost always in a good mood while wearing a bright smile on your faces along with loving a good joke and the company of other people. But unlike him, you tend to be quiet in your own way, only opening up around people you know and love.

“Nice to see you again. How have you been Gojo?”

The sincerity that glitters in your striking eyes is always a blessing for everyone around. You are so real, tender and kind in this cruel world that it’s sometimes hard to believe that you are able to survive in it.

“I’m doing better since you came here, (y/n).”

You giggle at his light-hearted comment, very aware of the fact that he’s just trying to tease you. Although you know that Gojo is very easy on women, you never felt more than sympathy for him. After all, you laid your eyes on someone else this whole time…

Oh, where’s Kento?

He told you this morning that there’s something he has to take care of, but it’s very untypically for him to show up late. Worry lines appear on your effortless features. Did you miss something? Did he maybe tell you about a meeting?

“Why do you look so worried, (y/n)?”, Gojo questions.

“I’m just wondering about Nanami-san…Normally, he’s never late”, you mumble while racking your brain.

To be honest, you’re pretty forgetful, without your boyfriend you wouldn’t even be here right now. But something important like a reason for being late wouldn’t escape you, right?

“Who knows? He never tells anyone about his private life anyway.”

Lost in thoughts, you slowly but surely fall into panic mode. Something has to be wrong. This behavior doesn’t suit him at all.

“Hey, I’m sure he’s fine, (y/n). Nanami is a tough guy”, Gojo tries to calm your tingling nerves down.

But it doesn’t work. Frantically, you swipe over your phone, desperately trying to find an excuse in one of his text messages – nothing. You try to call him multiple times only to be greeted by his mailbox.

Oh no, this is bad. This is very very bad. Something must have happened, you just know it.

“I should now if he has something to do, I mean, I’m his girlfriend after all. It’s kinda my job to know these things-“

Gojo stares at you wide eyed, mind trying to process the information that just came out of your mouth. Did you really just call Nanami your boyfriend? This can’t be true…right?

“(y/n)”, he interrupts your babbling, your innocent eyes darting at him immediately.

“Did you just call Nanami your boyfriend?”

Your heart sinks to the floor, mind going completely blank. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You were so lost in thoughts that you accidentally spoiled your secret relationship of two years to none other than Gojo Satoru.

“Gojo, please don’t freak out”, you beg.

“So it’s true? Oh god, I can’t believe it. That are some pretty fucked up new. How long?”

“How long what?”

Kento is going to hate you for this. From all the people you could have told about your secret, why on earth did it have to be Gojo Satoru? Your face goes pale just thinking about your boyfriend’s reaction.

What if…What if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore? Your thoughts are raising, eyes getting wetter and wetter the more you think about what you just did. This was your little secret, the only thing you had to do was keeping it to yourself. And you? You ruined everything by mindlessly telling Gojo about it.

“Sorry I’m late, the traffic-“

“Nanami, when did you plan on telling me about your relationship with (y/n)? You have to be kidding, right? How the hell did you pull her?”, Gojo blurts out immediately.

You are on the brink of tears, Kento's eyes darting towards you without emotion.

“None of this is of your business. Let me talk to (y/n) alone for a second, we’ll be with you soon”, he instructs the white-haired man with firm voice.

“Only if you promise that you’ll tell me every little dirty detail about this.”

“Leave. Now.”

“Urgh, what a bummer…”

You swallow hardly, your gaze glued to the floor while you try to blink away your hot tears.

“How did this happen?”, he questions, his well-polished shoes standing right in front of you.

“I-I…I was so w-worried about y-you that I panicked and…and then it j-just slipped out…”, you stutter.

“Huh, I understand.”

Your eyes dart up at him.

“Are you going to leave me now?”, you cry out, tears now running down your cheeks uncontrollably.

Kento tilts his head and steps forward, hand gently cupping your face.

“Don’t be stupid, I’m not leaving you. Sooner or later, he would have found out anyway”, he responses.

You wrap your still trembling arms around him tightly, tears soaking into his fine suit.

“I’m really sorry”, you mutter into his chest.

It’s like a massive weight falls from your heart. For the split of a second, you really thought he’ll end things with you right here and now. You simply can’t afford to lose him, Kento is your ray of sunshine on rainy days, you love him with all of your heart and more.

“Please, don’t be. I should be sorry for you worrying about me. Be prepared for Gojo’s constant teasing though. These will be hard times.”

He brushes a soft kiss against your lips, a tender smile on his face. God, how much you feel for this man. More than any words could ever express.

“We’ll get through this together”, you reply.

“Yes. Like always.”

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somewhereincairparavel · 8 months ago

Note

could u do something about thalia never showing up for jason? in the end of tlh he was hoping she’d show up for the counselors meeting and she didn’t so maybe a series of him making plans with her/trying to get in touch with her and just being disappointed every time… not thalia hate i love u thalia she just is too busy for him (while doing it during the months between tlh and son could be cool i think in between boo and toa would be more angsty bc u know he’s going through a breakup!!! he’s all alone in this random private school he isn’t familiar with the mortal world and he just wants his sister but she isn’t there!!!)

Two times Jason Grace wrote Thalia a letter, and the one time he didn't send it.

author's note: Ah this is so angsty and perfecttt :( The Grace siblings deserved more…they're my faves fr.. anyway, I hope I did justice to your request anon! Thank you for requesting, it made my day! I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. I just finished my exams and I'm back to having more time for writing :) you guys can send me more angsty jason prompts like this one if you want to, I'll write them with the best of my capabilities, I'm quite new to heavy angst like this so I was surprised when I was able to finish this within an hour. Jason Grace does this to me.

TW: severe angst. I mean it, very severe, character death, mentions of sacrifice, no happy ending. I went all out, I'm sorry. I was just way too into this.

Jason traced his finger over the glossy photo frame in his hands, which encrusted a picture of his older sister, Thalia. He had requested Leo to help him with the framing, the edges were made with a mahogany coating. He smiled at the lovely picture of his sister, her hair being held together by her silver huntress circlet, wearing her punk rock clothes.

Over the course of the summer, He had finally gotten the chance to take a good picture of Thalia for a family keepsake, he had held on to the tattered, torn picture of Thalia that annabeth had given to him before his first quest, and he still treasured it greatly. But he insisted that Thalia and him take at least one good picture before she disappeared with her maidens into the world, for months.

“And then Leo said-” Jason was cut off by thalia’s fellow maiden Phoebe, rushing towards them, yelling for thalia.

“Lady Thalia, lady Artemis is heavily in need of your assistance immediately!” Phoebe said panting. Thalia frowned and her eyes apologetically turned back to Jason. “I'll be there” she told her fellow huntress, before giving Jason a strangling hug. “I'm so sorry Jason, we'll talk later yeah?” Jason swallowed his disappointment after he saw how truly apologetic Thalia looked. “Of course, stay safe for me?” Thalia smiled sweetly and nodded at that before trudging up the path.

That was the last time he had seen of Thalia in months, and there was only one way to settle this. Jason decided to send in letters to his sister, that way, she could read it and keep them with her, and he could tell her everything without getting interrupted by anyone. He soon learnt to cherish this hobby alot. He loved his sister, and writing to her gave him a warm sense of comfort. He needed that, especially after Leo's death.

“Dear Thalia,

How have you been sis? I hope your mission with Phoebe to help Artemis went well! It's been pretty tough lately. My nightmares are plagued with pictures of mom. I know you of all people would understand how horrific that feels. I miss Leo, and piper's been acting a little strange around me lately.. but Leo's disappearance is taking a toll on her. So I get it. Nico is finally staying in camp half blood, isn't that great?? That boy deserved a break for once. Anyways, write back if you can, but if you can't, that's fine, I know you're busy.

–love, your annoying little brother.

Weeks, and months flew by, but still no response from Thalia. But he knew better than to take it seriously. Jason knew that she had gotten the letter, and that was enough for him. Well, that was enough, until things went downhill for him very quickly. Piper had approached him in the school corridor and thought it was a great day to end their year long relationship, shattering Jason's soul to pieces, this, coupled with the immense amount of pressure he had to build the minor god shrines, Jason felt numb, and he did what he usually did. He poured his heart out to Thalia in another letter, seeking comfort in his ink and paper. Longing for thalia’s presence once more.

“Dear Thalia,

it's me again, I hope you're doing good, atleast better than I am. I've been feeling terrible lately, Piper ended things with me, i guess we finally know why she was acting the way she did around me, huh? She said our relationship was only hera’s illusion and didn't feel that way about me anymore, which sucks, since I'm still very much in love with her. The pressure has increased tenfolds on me these days, the minor gods are heavily anticipating the promise I told them I'd keep. I'm planning on moving schools so i don't have to deal with the heartbreak of seeing Piper in school anymore. Anyways, I just wanted to write to you since it makes me feel better. Sending you lots of love from California.

— love, Your annoying little brother

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months.

Jason knew. The moment the sibyl told him about looking for the third emperor. Jason knew, that his doomsday was going to knock on his doorstep very soon. He was going to sacrifice himself for Piper. And nobody was changing his mind. Jason stared out his dormitory window, the outside mortal world looked a little too cheery for the melancholic thoughts that were chasing his mind. He averted his gaze to the person in the picture frame hanging at his wall. Thalia had always been too busy for him. They had never had a proper full conversation together, one on one conversations getting disrupted, iris messages wearing out within a few minutes, even his letters never got a reply, or even a single acknowledgement.

Yet jason knew, that Thalia Grace was the only one who loved him more than anything in the world. She didn't have to spend time with him for him to know that. He knew by the way she had only left their childhood home after Jason was deemed “dead”, he knew by the way she had picked a two year old jason up after he injured his mouth with that stapler,he knew by the way she played hide and seek when they were little, he knew by the way she had told no one about him, not even annabeth, since he was a memory that she held close to her heart. So subconsciously, his hands wrapped around the pen he always used to write with. With shaky hands, and teary eyes slowly dripping in the paper, he began to write.

Thalia was resting on the rocks, thinking of how Jason was doing, she had recieved all his letters and read them through atleast 2 times. She wanted to respond, but it kept slipping her mind. Something had always come up, but now, she was finally free. Just as she was about to pick up her pen, she heard her name being called.

“Thalia!”

It was Reyna. She was holding an envelope, Thalia’s spirits skyrocketed at the thought of her brother sending her another letter. But.. why was it being sent through Reyna..? It was usually always sent by Jason's wind manipulation. Those letters would float towards her. That's how she always knew it was from her brother.

She was expecting Reyna to tease about Jason's cheesy letters to his sister, but what she wasn't expecting, was for Reyna to start sobbing on the spot, breaking out the news that her younger brother was dead.

Jason. Her little stapler eating brother. Was dead.

“This was found by Meg in Jason's desk.” Reyna shakily handed Thalia the envelope. It was a blue envelope, the usual colour that Jason always sent to her. And on top of it, was his smudy handwriting that Thalia could recognise from a mile away. The letter was signed “To Thalia Grace”.

Thalia opened it carefully but tears were leaking out of her eyes.

“Dear Thalia,

there's something that I've been keeping for a while now, but I know it's finally the time to tell you this. I met the sibyl in the labryinth who had told me that my life would be cut short. if went looking for the third emperor, Caligula, either me or Piper would be killed. There's no point denying the inevitable is going to happen. Prophecy's can never be thwarted, after all. I've made my choice, I'm not letting Piper die. I've decided that I am going to use myself as a sacrifice. I'm writing you this, to let you know, that, I love you. I love you so much sis, I hope you know that. I know we've never got to see eachother much, but I don't want you blaming yourself in any way for this. I hope you know that, writing to you, even without a response from your side all these months, has helped my life feel a lot more meaningful. the mere thought of you taking the time to read my letters makes me feel so loved. So happy. Now that I know that I might be meeting my end, I'm letting you know, that I've cherished every single thing you've ever said to me. Including the fact that you hate tomatoes on your sandwiches. Take care of yourself, sis, I'm always with you.

— love, for the last time, your annoying little brother :)

Thalia clutched the letter with her heart, screaming in agony. Thunder boomed angrily overhead, almost as if her father could feel her rage. Her heart strings were tearing apart. She sobbed, as she looked up at the blue sky, the same blue as Jason's darling eyes.

“I love you too. My annoying little brother, always”

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gretavanbear · 8 months ago

Text

Behind The Steel

[a/n : h...hi..... i haven't posted in so long. i hope u guys enjoy this lil thing i wrote. i definitely want to do a part two at some point.]

His bike was always his most prized possession, the way he felt when riding it was an incomparable feeling. The first time he rode it was a life changing moment for him- the wind drifting through his hair, the roar of the engine. It was pure animalistic adrenaline that coursed through his veins; wanting to make her roar like he did was extremely exciting. Nothing could amount to how powerful he felt in the cage, feeling weightless and full of control.

His best friend initially helped him build it, making it extremely safe to be in and ride around as crazy as he can get. knowing his biker friends, sometimes it really could get crazy in there.

It became somewhat of a ritual to have cage meets at his house every last friday of the month, where all his friends and acquaintances would come and try out the cage. Sometimes they’d have their girlfriends stand in the middle, building on the anticipation of driving around them. Jake didn’t understand that; wanting someone to stand in a potentially dangerous setting for a couple minutes. Maybe because he saw himself as a lone wolf, him and his bike. How it was supposed to be.

Sure, he’d see someone now and then but it was purely to let out everything that was bottled in, needing some release sometimes.

As he were riding home, he thought about all the preparation for tonight’s meet. Had he ordered the keg? Yes. Did he get enough wood for the bonfire? Yep. He tended to worry for nothing, knowing his organized self; it was truly out of habit to worry over little things.

Jake turned off the bike in his garage, making sure she was nice and safe inside. Naming her the beloved was something dear to him; his friends all giving their bikes something corny or sexy as they said, like “kitty” or “princess”.

But the beloved was not just some sexy bike, she made him feel things, power. And she was much more special to him than just a method of transportation. As he started caressing her with the clean soapy rag, his phone interrupted his music and began ringing.

“Jake?” it was Jeremy, his best friend.

“Yeah?”

“Dude… I’m so sorry but I can’t make it tonight.” Jake groaned, the meets were never the same without Jeremy.

“Why? What’s up?” He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes for a second- waiting on his dumb excuse.

“My parents want me to go meet this mechanic professor because my name was brought up somehow during my dad’s company dinner. I don’t know.. they really want me to go” He explained. Jake paused for a second before responding.

“That sounds like a great opportunity, Jere. Don’t feel bad, just don’t miss next month’s meet, yeah?” He smiled softly as he waited for his response.

“Of course, dude. I promise.” He replied, saying bye and hanging up.

Jake sighed as his music played once the call was over, washing his bike with intense care. Before he could even notice the time passing, people were already showing up to his house. Thankful to be living on a secluded area with a large piece of land, there were no neighbors to be bothered by.

JAKE

As time flew by, people began showing up to your house, gathering in your back yard. The kegs were set up, the string lights were plugged in, and of course; the cage was set up. There was a row of bikes neatly parked by the side of your house, awaiting for their turn. Though you always went first, no matter what. You passed by your acquaintances and friends, greeting them with a big smile and telling them to help themselves to the keg or drinks inside.

The bonfire was burning bright, illuminating your surroundings with a beautiful golden glow.

You passed by your garage to get the beloved, her cherry red color standing out to you, making your heart race. You took her off her stand and brought her to the door of the garage, someone stopping you in your tracks.

Jeremy’s sister.

She was only a year younger than the both of you and even though it wasn't much of a time difference, Jeremy did not want her at your house especially during cage meets. Though there she was, looking up at you with a smirk as she leaned on the side of the door.

“What are you doing here?” You pushed the bike stand down with your foot, resting your arm on the bike.

“Brother’s out of town. Thought I’d be in the clear for a free show.” She spoke, crossing her arms.

“You know you can’t, Jere wouldn’t want you here.” You state.

“Yeah? Who’s gonna tell him?” she countered. You stood back a little in shock.

“I will. You know how protective he is.” You sigh, looking down at the bike and then back at her.

“Let’s make a bet, Kiszka.” You open your mouth to disagree but she continues talking. “If I can make one round in the cage with you, you can take me home. If I fail, you tell Jeremy and I’ll deal with him.” She says, confidently. You’re taken aback a little, her confidence roaming around the tight space of your garage.

She’s always been around, even when you and Jere were younger. You’d always done your best to ignore her even though she was a hell of a tease, and now that he was away you saw it as your chance.

“You know what? Fine. Let’s see you fail, darlin’.” You smirk, kicking the stand up and walking towards the cage with the beloved, her following you.

As you arrived to the cage, you settled the bike inside, Y/N following you in. She stood on the red X on the floor, the old tape used as a marking for where people would get their partners to stand. She looked at you with a smirk, though you could see a slight shimmer in her eye. You knew she trusted you, but you were up for a challenge.

You watched as she took her jacket off, throwing it outside of the cage, it landed on the ground. You zipped up your leather jacket, tucking your necklace inside your neckline. You gave her one good look before putting your helmet on, pulling down the eye mask.

You could hear the metal gate close, locked shut. The voices cheering on the outside, the music playing faintly in the background. All these distractions but she was the only thing you could focus on. She wore a tight black longsleeve satin dress with some black combat boots, she looked fucking amazing. It just excited you even more.

You could hear her sucking in a breath as you straddled the beloved, your hand on the handles. You turn her on and roar the engine, the adrenaline moving through you. You kick up the stand and begin circling her across the cage, slowly moving higher and higher as you increase the speed, taking your time with it.

Once you feel stable enough, you take your right hand off the handle, and begin dragging it gently across her shoulder, increasing the speed of your bike, revving the engine even louder as you watch her jump a little, but you can tell your touch helps her nerves. You bite your bottom lip to contain your smirk- unsuccessfully. Your hand caresses her shoulders, her stomach, her chest slightly. She closes her eyes and smiles in content, which makes you go even faster. Her eyes open once again and you can feel them on you. Ten seconds left of your time in the cage, your hand drags against her whole body, god she feels amazing.

You hear the loud horn that alarms you the minute is over, and you slow down, to a stop. Your hair is stuck to your forehead by the time you take your helmet off, but all you can focus on is the way she’s smiling at you, how beautiful she looks, how wonderful that dress fits her.

“So? You gonna tell him?” She smirks, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“I think I can keep a lil secret..” You sigh, smiling down at her.

The two of you walked over to your driveway with the beloved. You had borrowed an extra helmet off a friend since you didn’t own another one. You knew where she lived, and it wasn’t far, but you were more worried about if you’d be able to contain yourself from not kissing her, the way she affected you was something you never felt before.

You straddled the bike once again as she put her helmet on. “I’m going to hold my hand out so it’s easier for you to get on, you’ll need to hold on tightly because I’m going to be going pretty fast.” You said, holding your hand out. She took it and climbed over the bike, settling herself closely behind you.

“Like that?” She asked. You smirked behind your helmet.

“Closer, love. Wouldn’t want you sliding off..” You smiled. She scooted closer and you could feel her chest against your back, it made your heart flutter. Your hands made their way to the handles as you turned on the bike once more, beginning your journey to her house.

As the wind drifted through the hair sticking out your helmet, your hand drifted to her thigh, caressing it a little. You felt her arms tighten around your waist, and her fingers slowly make their way to the hem of your jacket. You sucked in a breath, trying to focus on the road. Her hands slid underneath your jacket, underneath your shirt, until she caressed your chest gently. You wondered if she could feel your heartbeat, she probably could.. It was beating so fast. You let out a shaky breath and told yourself you’d be at her house soon.

Parked. Finally, you kicked down the stand. She removed her hands from your shirt, and hopped off the bike. You also got off and removed your helmet, resting your ass on the seat of the bike as you faced her. She removed her helmet and shook her head a little, to let her hair loose. She nearly took your breath away, the beauty taking over.

“Thanks for the ride.” She smiled, handing the helmet over to you.

“Thanks for the massage.” You smirked.

“Anytime” She said, stepping closer. You looked down at her, a slight shimmer in the reflection of her dark orbs. “I like riding with you,” She paused, leaning in. “It’s so…” She paused once more, her lips so close to yours. “Intimate.. Isn’t it?” She said.

You nodded, your lips parted a little.

“Are you going to kiss me goodnight, Kiszka?” She said, and you didn’t reply. You kissed her gently, her lips soft like satin, you could drown in them. She was so soft, like honey, a warmth you didn’t know you needed until right now. She pulled away so gently, almost as if she was afraid it would hurt you.

“Goodnight.. See you at your next meet..” She smiled, waving a little before going inside her house, leaving you speechless.

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cazzyf1 · 13 days ago

Text

Wolfgang von Trips teenage opinion on WW2

When I read over his diaries a few months ago one entry that stuck out to me was one where he went to see a war film in the cinema and then wrote down his feelings on what had happened in the war, his feelings about Germany, and his feelings about the army. I found it interesting because I had never read a German's perspective on it before and it was a unique read. So when rereading his diary I decided when I came to this entry I'd write it up and publish it for anyone else curious about what his teenage opinions were.

Reminder that this was written when Wolfgang von Trips was in prime teenage angst and still struggled to understand and cope with the effects of growing up in the war and almost dying a few times. As he got older he was determined to try and restore Germany's good reputation, especially with cars and was good friends with very patriotic Brits.

(Translated from German to English via a translator)

October 14, 1947, Tuesday

I haven't been OK for days. I had a very bad cold, it's better now, but I still have a lot of pressure above my left eye. I'm worried about inflammation in my sinus. I want to do some serious inhalation. Maybe it will clear up after all.

I was just at the cinema. English film, typically English. They showed the victory celebration. It makes you feel awfully different when you see how our defeat is celebrated. How we fought and yet we were ruined. The film and everything else took me back to a time a few years ago when we were (at least from my point of view) a people who stuck together, were honest and fought, when as a boy I was enthusiastic about everything and proud when our planes came, saw nothing bad in anything. During the war I didn't see anything bad about the war itself either. (Today I have a different opinion.) But I was still capable of enthusiasm and when one day, after a long time spent at the school camp, I saw German tanks and planes in the newsreel for the first time, I cried with excitement or pride. It was an indefinable feeling. And now it's all over. Forever. Never, never again will we carry weapons, soldiers.

Everything is bad, mean and vile, what was previously an ideal and a model. Never again will I be able to freely and truly choose. I know today, and I fully understand, that one can what used to be my highest ideal was actually not quite right. But I still mourn all of it because it will never come back and there is no replacement for it. And when I compare my thoughts from back then with those of today, ideals, goals, plans, I can't describe it like that.

I still remember exactly how, during the Jabo era, I once thought to myself: I can still picture the moment - what do you do when no more bombs are falling, no more Jabos are coming, and no more anti-aircraft guns are firing?

I thought that I must be missing something that was almost vital to my life, so it had all become my world. Today I realise that this is really something that can be rejected with normal common sense, not wrongly influenced by time, and knows it too. But the fact that I have directed all my childish and youthful - certainly not small - enthusiasm towards something that is now over forever makes me very sad. How well could something else have taken its place? something of lasting value, art, music, or for that matter, something technical. Then I wouldn't feel like I'm in such a topsy-turvy world today. I see it in other boys. For them, it doesn't mean as much as it does for me. They just didn't rely on it like I did and it was just a side issue, annoying side effect for them. Unfortunately, I'm a bit stuck now, I keep looking from one thing to the other, I just can't settle down anywhere. The contradictions in which I live and those around me are too great. I don't really know where I belong, I'm also missing the right friend, I'm missing Rudolf von Marsewsky.

It's all rubbish, damn it! The time is over, all the ideals destroyed, but if I'm honest with myself, my pure reason tells me that everything was just right, war, violence and power and so on.

I see it very differently today, but deep down I say it was beautiful and powerful and definitely better than this filth today. It's a shame that I can't really express my thoughts so that I can record them for later. Because I'm sure I'll change somehow and it'll be interesting to see what it would be like now if I still had something like that from the war or before. But I have it a little different in my head than I can express it here.

Sometimes, like now, I remember the past. Then the whole time comes back to me and I start to compare and a train of thought arises like this one. (Usually it is a conversation, a film or something else that triggers it.) And when I think about freedom, about my real life as a boy, with shooting, riding, hunting, also Hitler Youth service and military training in the mountains, our conversations and thoughts at the time and the feeling I had when I thought about the Air Force and my future, and now I think about the fact that this kind of feeling of happiness can never arise in me again because there simply can't be any reason for it anymore, then I could cry.

I haven't been aware of all this for a long time. Simply because I haven't thought about it that much. Writing it all down is partly a mental aid. It helps me get deeper into something than if I just think about it.

I was just counting the pages and had to laugh at myself. I could spend hours pondering about some of the things that usually bother me. But I want to stop for today, maybe tomorrow or soon if I get into a strange mood again (it's just the film's fault).

#classic f1 #f1 #formula one #formula 1 #vintage f1 #wolfgang von trips

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