#is kinda hot and hilarious at the same time

[kdh-tally]

HII! I'm your biggest fan! And thank you for hard working i love your miromabby headcanons! I was wondering if you could make about Romance and Abby snapping at Mira. Like a challenge that they will snap at Mira only and both of them saying stupid stuff about her that aren't even true i would love to see that!! Tysm if you read this💗💗💗 ily!!

Mira In Her Crashout Era

Prompt : Romance and Abby just don't know when to shut up.

Author's Note : The beginning might seem boring cause I really just wanted to write the ending part :P There will be a part two though!!!!!! And ily2 😚

They were going to die for this. 

“What makes you think this is a good idea?” Abby sighed, rubbing at his temple as Romance replayed a video on his phone.

It was a new trend that had taken over social media. It seemed quite insensitive at first but it was funny. The trend really just was one person snapping and going off on their partner at random times with their poor partner not knowing any better. 

Romance found it hilarious and who better to try it on than their wonderful girlfriend Mira?

“Come on it’s funny”

“You know she’s gonna kill us for this right?” 

“It’ll be worth it. She’s so hot when she’s mad~” Romance smiled wistfully. Abby had to agree with that.

–

The little prank had started. Unfortunately, Abby, as unwilling as he was to participate, was the first to fall victim. He had been making a protein shake in the kitchen for breakfast when Mira walked in. 

His jaw almost went slack as she walked in front of him to grab her purse. She was in this gorgeous black dress that complimented her figure and her hair was left flowing down her back. He remembered her mentioning that she’d be going out with the girls later that day. 

He was about to compliment her when he caught a glimpse of Romance glaring pointedly at him. He sighed, there was no way this was fair. How was he supposed to be rude when she looked like that????

Summoning all the courage he had, because Mira would surely kill him after this, he spoke in the most disregarding voice he could muster, “Is that what you’re going to wear?” He felt the mood in the room shift immediately. He wouldn’t turn to face her, looking right at his drink. He was expecting her to summon her weapon and murder him right there.

But she didn’t. 

“I’ll go change” 

Abby turned quick but she was already gone. He clutched his heart, he could feel it racing, while Romance moved to stand next to him. 

“You’re still alive,” he smirked in disbelief, watching where the pink haired girl had disappeared off to. 

“I’m still alive.”

And just like that, what was supposed to be a small prank turned into their game.

First it was just light jabs, playful insults that made them seem annoying. 

“You always take so long to get ready. This isn’t the red carpet Mira,” Romance would sigh, seemingly disappointed when watching her get dolled up for an award show.

“Don’t get mad but I swapped your playlist with mine,” Abby said nonchalantly as the two were driving back to their home. “Yours is kinda dry”

“You should smile more. You’re kinda scary when you don’t.” What normally would've been a playful joke turned into a jab at her looks. But she didn’t budge. Every time she remained calm would only encourage the two to see how far they could push her. 

On the third day, the comments became more direct.

“You don’t always need to be correcting people. It’s not that deep.”

“Sometime’s I wonder wether we’re your boyfriends or your backup dancers”

“You always have to think you’re right don't you?”

The two felt like geniuses. They truly believed they would've gotten to her by now. Two more days, is what they agreed on. They would drag this out for two more days, and if Mira didn’t react by then, then the game would be over.

–

The fifth and final day came soon enough. It started the same way the others did, quiet digs slipped into casual conversation.

“You don’t have to be so intense all the time,” Romance muttered as Mira flipped through pages of a magazine. “Like... Not everything’s a war.”

She didn’t look up.

“You’re not even fun to be around when you’re like this,” Abby added as he scrolled aimlessly on his phone beside her on the couch. “You’re always on edge now. You used to be so chill.”

She was mid-highlight in her song book when that one landed.

Neither of them noticed the way her grip tightened around the pen. Or how her jaw clenched.

“You probably rehearse your comebacks in the mirror, huh?” Romance said with a small chuckle. “You love hearing yourself talk.”

“Yeah,” Abby nodded. “You act like you’ve changed so much, but honestly you’re just boring now.”

That was it.

The pen in her hand snapped in two.

The air dropped a full five degrees.

Mira stood slowly, so silently that even the couch didn’t creak. She didn’t say a word. She just turned around and jumped at them.

Romance barely had time to react before her polearm materialized, shimmering and crackling with angry, red streaks of cursed light. It slashed down with a force that split the coffee table in half.

“WOAH— MIRA?!” Abby dove back, the blade missing him by mere inches as Mira spun again, hair flying, eyes glowing with fury. She wasn’t holding back. She truly planned on sending them back to the underworld.

“MIRA STOP IT WAS A TREND!”

“YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!” she shrieked, her voice filled with fury.

Another swing missed Romance’s head and hit the wall, embedding the blade deep in plaster and wood.

“CALL FOR BACKUP!” Abby screamed, ducking behind the couch.

Romance fumbled with his phone just as Mira yanked her weapon free from the wall with a scream.

“You mock me, mock everything I’ve worked on, and for what?! For a trend?! You think it’s funny to watch me suffer?!”

Before either of them could answer, the door to their apartment busted open. “MIRA STOP!” Rumi’s voice was the first to break through as she grabbed Mira’s wrist mid-swing.

Zoey appeared a second later, already rushing to help hold her back. The weapon clattered to the floor beside her, dissolving into sparks.

Mira didn’t collapse physically. Her eyes were almost jittery with the way they flickered between both boys.

She was shaking and breathing hard. 

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

Rumi held her wrist firmly, jaw tight and Zoey had stepped between them all with her hand still slightly raised, just in case.

Romance was breathing hard, his back to the wall.

Abby hadn’t moved from where he hid behind the couch.

No one said anything. Not until Mira slowly turned her head, eyes locked on the two idiots who thought this was a good idea.

And then she spoke.

“You’re both actual morons.” She didn’t yell and that might have made it worse. She simply spoke with absolute anger and disgust in her voice.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to knock your heads together this week? How many times I bit my tongue while you two clowned your way around thinking you were being funny?”

Romance blinked. “Wait, you–”

“Shut up.” Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t get to talk right now.”

She pointed at Abby. “You. First of all, congratulations. You’re the worst actor on this planet. ‘Is that what you’re gonna wear?’ I should have knocked you out that morning.”

Abby’s mouth opened slightly to speak, but she cut him off.

“‘Dry playlist?’ ‘Smile more?’ Do you guys even hear yourselves? Or are you just that full of your own voices?”

She turned on Romance next. “And you. ‘You always think you’re right.’ ‘It’s not that deep.’ You have never been right a single day in your life and suddenly I’m the problem?”

“I thought that maybe just maybe you two had grown out of being little pests with death wishes, but I guess not. And Abby, you really sat there and backed him up like this was some cute bonding activity?”

Rumi didn’t even try to stop her anymore. She let go of Mira’s wrist and crossed her arms, nodding along.

“You’re both so dumb,” Mira continued, pacing now, angry hands gesturing, words flying like daggers. “Not just for doing the trend, but for being surprised that I didn’t explode sooner.”

“What, you thought I wasn’t going to snap? That it’s just normal to insult your girlfriend for four days straight!?” Her voice got louder with each word.

Romance finally raised both hands, sheepish. “We didn’t think you were trying so hard to hold back.”

Mira whipped around and stared him down like she was deciding whether to summon the polearm again.

“No shit you didn’t think,” she snapped. “Because if either of you had actually paid attention for once, maybe you would’ve noticed I’ve been working my ass off to not react to every little thing like I used to. But I guess that version of me was funnier, huh?”

Abby lowered his eyes, swallowing thickly. “It wasn’t like that,” he said quietly.

Mira let out a humorless laugh. “Then what was it like, Abby? Because it sure looked like you two were enjoying yourselves watching me turn into your little science experiment.”

Zoey looked over at them, arms crossed now, clearly unimpressed.

Silence fell again.

The air still felt heavy. Mira looked like she had one last breath of rage she hadn’t used up yet, but she turned and headed for the hallway instead.

“I’m going to take a nap,” she said flatly. “If either of you say one word to me in the next hour, I’m stabbing you. And this time I won’t let Zoey or Rumi stop me.”

She disappeared around the corner, her door slamming loudly behind her.

Romance finally let out a long breath. “Well.”

Abby nodded slowly. “We deserved all of that.”

“Yep.”

Zoey smirked. “I think she went easy on you.”

Rumi tossed the splintered wood onto the couch with a shrug. “You should get her a new table.”

“And a new mirror,” Zoey added. “She did throw a hairbrush through it yesterday.”

Romance’s face paled. “Wait what?”

“Yea she said she was trying not to take out her anger on you so she took it out on her mirror instead.”

Abby pulled at his hair. 

Rumi grinned darkly. “You’re lucky that’s all she broke.”

[nether-moth]

Y'all think after that one 911 call Grace got with the masochist guy Imp and his Mistress that Grace asked Judd to like explore that further after their shifts

[starry-bi-sky]

i think i'm hilarious -- aka i made blood blossom danny au memes

all of these come from my DpxDC prompt "i am pushing the batdad agenda--" and it's corresponding additions in the reblogs ksdjlf.

i am. rotating them in my head. forever and always. personally i think there should be more batdad aus in dpxdc, their dynamic could be neat. :)

[thatrobotkid]

On this day, 20 years ago, the RJ episodes, “House Party” and “School Newspaper”, premiered at 11:00pm on the 5th night of the new “Fridays”

Fun Facts:

The newspaper in the title for “School Newspaper” has a headline of a robot invading a school, and said robot is RJ. This is a reference to how creator, Greg Miller, jokingly said that the show would end with RJ taking over “Terminator” style

In the scene in “School Newspaper” where Principal Madman is in the teachers lounge, Mr. Mitchell (Sickness) and Mrs. Kavendash (Scantron Love), make non-speaking cameos

When RJ breaks into the school at night in “School Newspaper”, he references “Dick Tracy”, a detective character from old 1930s comics. He even dawns a stereotypical detective get-up.

In “House Party”, RJ reveals his middle, and full, name. His middle being “Electro”, and his full name being “Robot Electro Jones”

[letyukisayfuck]

reviews are in:

come and get it while it's hot (to go)!

[malereadermaniac]

(⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) Bachelors ~ Stardew Guys x Male Farmer Reader

Word Count: 4.5k

Plot: Imagines in a headcanon style (kinda) with the Stardew guys: first meets, dates, pinning, SMUT ૮ • ﻌ - ა Characters: Alex, Sebastian + Short bonuses of Sam & Harvey!

Featuring: Top!Characters x Bottom!Reader

Warnings: Nsfw / MDNI ~ amab m!reader / FDNI

Meeting Alex for the first time

The two of you met on your first day in the village. You had introduced yourself to his grandparents first, and as you were about to leave his grandma forced him to say 'hi'. Unlike the fairytales, you two were quite indifferent about each other for the first couple of weeks - Alex was his usual self whenever you'd see him, that being rude and arrogant, so you weren't his biggest fan. But since you'd promised to yourself that you'd make friends with every villager, you kept insisting on the brunette; chatting with him almost every day and giving him gifts from time to time.

Alex didn't really get it, but he did feel weird the first time he met you; his heart beating faster and his words not coming to him. The jock of course brushed this off though, not even entertaining the idea of having some sort of crush on you, a man. On the other hand, you had come to terms with the fact that your want to be friends with Alex was partially driven by an attraction to him. Hey, no judgment here! It would be hard for anyone to not get hot and bothered when you see the man shirtless on the daily; flexing his muscles and working out while he chats with you.

Mutual pining

It didn't take long for Alex to start catching feelings for you, but it did take him a while to accept that fact. After a month or so of knowing each other, Alex started to feel more comfortable around you, meaning his tough exterior started to crumble and the real Alex showed himself to you. The fact that Alex felt so comfortable around you made him feel some type of way, he'd never been able to be so raw and real with anyone; family or friend, girl or guy. It took many late-night conversations with you, avoiding looking into your eyes too long and hiding his tan face as it turns to a pink hue, for the gridballer to come to terms with the fact that he had not only caught feelings for you, but he also had the MASSIVE hots for you! I mean, anyone with eyes will have the hots for you. You were a farmer, so your body spoke for itself, but your kindheartedness and way with animals made the bachelors of the village swoon for you! And as you and Alex hung out more and more, the brunette would catch himself admiring you a little too much; oh and this got worse as summer came by! The number of times Alex would pop a boner cause he'd seen you shirtless was ridiculous... He couldn't help it! Your body, your arms, your chest, your belly UGH! Let's just say every inch of you had crossed Alex's mind when he would deal with the hard problems you'd cause him.

Pinning over Alex wasn't exactly easy for you. Up until the very moment the meathead asked you out, you were convinced he was straight! So your very massive crush on the jock was kept on the low, reserved for late-night fantasies and daydreams when you would spend time with him. But it would get harder and harder not to blush around the muscular man, especially since he was comfortable enough around you to just whip off most of his clothes! The amount of damn times you'd gotten hard from seeing Alex's sweaty, tan muscles as he works out; his muscular arms flexing, his six-pack tensing, his thick thighs bulging out of his shorts (and that wasn't the only thing bulging out of his shorts!). In short, more and more time with Alex was expanding your spank bank more and more!

The only reason Alex finally had the guts to ask you out was because of Haley! Hilariously, the both of you would confide in the blonde about your 'unrequited' feelings and worries, without knowing that the other was telling her the exact same thing! Eventually, the girl got rightfully fed up, so she just told Alex to shut up midway through a 'woe is me' monologue and told him that you liked him back. The closet lesbian wished she'd recorded how quickly Alex had sprinted out of her room and to your farm! The moment was quite romantic to be fair to Alex, for it being extraordinarily spontaneous. He'd picked up some flowers from the village square (which the mayor later scolded him for) and knocked on your door then and there. Despite it being quite late at night, you opened the door and were happily surprised to see a panting Alex standing in front of you, with a shabby bouquet of flowers held out to you. And after a very stuttery and hesitant confession, Alex asked you out - to which you didn't respond for a moment, which of course made the jock's heart drop to his asshole! DID HALEY SET HIM UP???? But after a few moments, you could only respond to his confession with a chaste kiss; which the both of you will never stop thinking about.

Dates together

Dating Alex is extremely heteronormative, to be frank. The man had an abusive and probably misogynistic father, of course, he'd want to be 'the man' in the relationship despite both of you having dicks! So he's always the one to pay for things, always helping you around the farm in his spare time, and always insisting that he's the one to plan dates so that you don't have to worry. But hey, you can't really complain - he's doing all of the hard work! Alex is always there for you, helping you with anything you need; which is a real turn-on, but you can't help but feel bad that he does so much for you. This leads to you trying to help Alex in other ways, which does unfortunately continue the heteronormativity of your relationship. You'll cook for Alex and always have him round for dinner, and you always offer to help him round the house if he ever mentions a job his grandparents have given him - very stereotypical behaviour, but you both don't really mind it.

Dates themselves can be anything with you two, you're both happy just spending time together. If Alex wants to treat you to a fancy date, the two of you will have a late night wine and dine at the saloon followed with a very spicy night at home. But the more regular dates include TV nights at your place or beach days and nights!

Time alone (smut)

Again, Alex's masculinity tends to be on the more fragile side, despite it significantly improving since meeting you, so he continues his manly shtick in the bedroom as well. Not only does that mean that the brunette is strictly a top (which there are no complaints about), but also that he prefers to have a more dominant role when you two get it on. But this isn't a big problem for your relationship, your dynamic already being very binary makes this dynamic easy to adopt. When it comes to what you two like to do, Alex is addicted to doggy style, he just fucking loves giving you backshots; watching your ass jiggle as his hips smack against it, the sound of your skin slapping against his turns the man on so, so much! That is to say, Alex isn't opposed to any other position, sex is sex! As long as he gets to hit it, he doesn't really care that much. His libido really does match his personality, the jock likes to have sex so much that you got a bit worried he had an addiction at one point! But in reality, Alex just fucking loves you so much that he needs to physically express it (we all know that words aren't his strong suit). Genuinely, you could literally smile at your boyfriend and he'll get hard. You two have fucked in coops and stables just because Alex couldn't help himself after watching you be so kind and cute with the animals!

Speaking of location, whilst you two are most comfortable in the bedroom, beach sex does sometimes happen; you both fucking LOVE it. After an afternoon in the water and chatting in the sun, Alex and you love to stargaze after the sunsets; and lay next to each other in only swim trunks, having no one else around, silence except for each other's breathing and the sound of the sea, of course the romantic atmosphere and the closeness gets you two going! Riding Alex as he lays down on the beach towel, his strong hands on your hips as you bounce up and down on his dick, the moon and stars shining behind you making you look incredible; it's just perfect. And when the tables flip and Alex is the one with the moonlight shining on his muscles and gorgeous face as he drills into you missionary style, you can't help but get so fucking turned on!

Oh and when it comes to any specific kinks? You already know that Alex 100% has a thing for sports gear. Fucking you whilst you're wearing his varsity jacket or his gridball shirt makes the jock feel slightly possessive over you, and that just turns him on even more. Giving you backshots whilst you wear a jockstrap? Alex has never been more hard! And holy shit does the man look hot as fuck in his gridball gear, just sweaty after a little practice, his muscles gleaming as his white jockstrap becomes almost see-through, his high-socks accentuating his calves - your boyfriend just looks like a fucking sex god. And just as a little tidbit, Alex has a huge thing for blowjobs. He just loves running his fingers through your hair and looking into your eyes as he gets the best, sloppiest head of his life~

Meeting Sebastian for the first time

It's no surprise that you first encountered this emo on a rainy evening. You had gone out into the mountain on a late night walk, umbrella in hand as you walked the dim path; that was when you saw Sebastian's hooded figure just standing on the cliff, smoking a cigarette. You swiftly introduced yourself to the taller man, checking that he wasn't about to die of hypothermia from the cold and offering to share your umbrella. The encounter wasn't awkward, it was silent, sure, but it was a comfortable silence - the sound of the rain and the soft drags of Sebastian's cigarette made you feel oddly calm. Though few words were spoken, you two got to know each other pretty well, well enough to hang out the following week.

Being friends with Seb was great! He liked his alone time, so you two weren't constantly together, but the times you two hung out were always good. It was just that... there was always this weird, light tension in the air whenever you and the emo were alone. Prolonged eye contact, lingering touches on his arms and shoulder or on your thighs and hands, and complimenting each other would always result in beat-red faces. You were very aware of the fact that you were crushing on your very handsome friend, so you would jokingly, lightly flirt with Sebastian; you would compliment his piercings (cause YES he 100% has piercings), play with his hair and call him a hunk whenever he revealed his muscles. It was all playful though, it wasn't as if every single one of your actions was making Sebastian spiral more and more about his sexuality!

Mutual pining

Seb didn't take long to come to terms with the fact that he was actually head over heels for you, it was more his sexuality he was struggling with. But outside of his constant internal debates about how to label himself, Sebastian was more than willing to flirt with you and see how it goes. Sometimes, the two of you would smoke together, the taller man never letting you use one of your own straights and giving you one of his own - he'd even changed the brand of cigs he'd buy to the ones you like. He liked asking you to go for a smoke whenever it was windy, to make sure that you cling to him for warmth; and if Seb got lucky, you wouldn't be able to light your cigarette because of the wind, allowing him to swoop in like a saviour and light your cig with the end of his, bringing his face so, so close to yours. So close that he could feel your breath hitch from the proximity, so close that he could look into your eyes with no distractions. Sebastian would become more talkative around you, he still wouldn't chat as much as you did, but the emoboy would show more and more of himself every day. Oh, and as Sebastian became more and more desperate to share his feelings with you, his flirting would get just a little more intense; compliments became part of his greeting whenever you two would meet up, touching became more common, and a little jealousy showing whenever other guys would get a little too friendly with you. Your part of the flirting was less direct. You would often compliment Seb on his piercings (as already said), touching the cold metal on his face with a smile as you look into the taller man's dark eyes. The two of you would hangout in Sebastian's room a lot, just rotting in bed as you chat or he does work, and you would do your best not to blush at the pair of designer boxers left on his bed or dresser (which Seb defo didn't leave out to push the boundaries).

Dates together

This man asked you out in the most romantic way possible. He made sure that you both had the evening free and said he wanted to take you somewhere. THIS MAN takes you on a ride on his motorcycle, making sure your arms are tight around his waist, your head resting on his back, and he takes you to a small cliff with the most beautiful view of the city. Sebastian then gives you a somewhat long speech about how much he's changed and how much his life has changed since you'd met him, how he's never felt this way for anyone and how he feels so alive when he's around you, how he feels like his heart is on fire whenever he sees you around other guys. And instead of giving a conclusion to his speech, he just puts his strong, veiny hands around your waist and kisses you. Safe to say you were fucking smitten after that.

Ever since then you two have been kinda inseparable, visiting each other for hours at a time, and going on dates every week; Sebastian is an incredible boyfriend. To form some sort of tradition, on every anniversary, Seb always takes you on a ride on his bike and brings you back to that cliff where you two made it official; having set up a candle-lit picnic, he's just so cute. Even though you've both limited your smoking, the way you've done so is in itself very romantic. You two are allowed one cigarette a day, one for the two of you, not one each! So whenever it's your turn to have a drag, Sebastian will take a puff and shotgun the smoke into your mouth, his manly hand holding your face close to his, your lips just barely a millimetre apart.

Time alone (smut)

HEY EMO BOY! You just know that dick is huuuuge. Long, white and veiny with a pink tip. Sebastian is uncut and you already know that man has a prince albert! You've teased him about his dick piercing before, but he flips the tables real quick saying how he knows that you love it - and he's not wrong. Holy fuck does his dick just feel so fucking good inside you, and ten times better cause of that fucking piercing! The cold metal rubbing against your walls, the hard material jabbing into your prostate from time to time, making you fucking writhe underneath your boyfriend. Oh, and Seb has a sleeper build for sure! All he has to do is take that hoodie off and give a little flex, and his whole body becomes like that of a Grecian statue - just massive arms, wide shoulders, rock-hard abs, thick thighs, and massive, pillow-like pecs. It doesn't help that the muscular man's favourite position is missionary, making him seem even more massive and strong looming above you as he fucks the shit out of you. Another hot thing to point out is the obsidian-coloured bars going through both of his nipples, contrasting the soft pink of his flesh so nicely - He's just so fucking hot!

Sebastian definitely has the hots for public blowjobs - he's usually not the biggest fan of PDA or even being in public, but damn he just can't help but get so turned on when you're sucking his dick in public! Just the thrill of maybe being caught with his dick out and down your throat while on some park bench. He also can't deny that he likes to see the nature around him, the gravel beneath you as you're on your knees in front of him, the trees around and the sound of the water - it turns Seb on but he also just finds it beautiful, he can't help that he's an emo at heart, just so emotional!

But if Sebastian had to admit, he'd say that his ultimate sexual fantasy is just fucking like some gross, incel. Don't get him wrong, Sebastian is like the opposite of an incel! His political views are obviously very liberal! But he just can't deny the fact that the idea of fucking in his room, door locked, just spending the weekend in his room, just fucking, chilling and fucking some more without worrying about work, friends, or even getting up to shower, that shit just really turns him on! He's often fantasised about how you'd look fucked out on his bed, body drenched in sweat and at least 10 full condoms decorating your body and his bed - the idea gets him as hard as a rock! And who knows, maybe Seb has already booked you two a little cabin in the woods for your five-year anniversary to do just that...

Bonus: Sam

Meeting Sam is a moment you think about very often. You first ran into him near the mountains, just sitting on a bench and playing his guitar, humming and singing along - and you found that so, so attractive. You have been thirsting over this man since your first meeting!

You had been pining over Sam since your first meeting, so your view on the friendship which prospered hadn't really changed. You were happy being friends with the guitar player, but you would drop small comments here and there, flirting with the man ever so slightly - which neither of you really minded. Sam on the other hand, he realised that his feelings for you were anything but platonic and couldn't really hide it; this man couldn't stop blushing whenever you were even mentioned in conversation, let alone when he was actually around you! And let's be so real, his feelings for you were of course very romantic, but also incredibly sexual, so of course Sam was straight up jerking it to fantasies of you on the regular!!

Sam's confession to you was real sweet though, and quite heated as well... He'd asked to meet you at his house one day during winter and immediately invited you into his room when he noticed your pink nose and ears. He was stuttering and blushing as he professed his undying romantic feelings towards you, and his body only increased in temperature tenfold after you responded to his confession with a kiss. Sam couldn't get enough of your soft lips and smooth hands on his face, which turned what was meant to be a short kiss into a full-blown make-out sesh! The two of you were on Sam's bed for like an hour, just making out and grinding against each other fully clothed. But before the guitarist could take things any further, Sam's mother interrupted the two of you with a knock on the door. And hilariously, when asked why he looked so flushed and sweaty, Sam simply said he was doing push-ups...

Ugh and dating Sam is just so wholesome. Good luck kisses before shows are a must, and it's a tradition that the two of you have stuck to; from when Sam was playing small gigs to when the two of you had left the village and moved to the city after Sam's band had skyrocketed in fame. The blonde had even written you a song and played it at one of his bigger shows at the time, dedicating it to you and going on a small rant about how important you are to him and that the band wouldn't exist without you (how fucking cute is that.

Now on the more spicy side of the relationship, when the two of you were still living in the village, Sam would always dirty talk and fantasise about being famous and fucking you like a rockstar; and he stayed true to his word. The both of you are usually very horny after Sam plays a show, what? like you're supposed to watch your boyfriend get all sweaty on a stage as he plays guitar and sings a couple of songs about you and NOT get really fucking turned on??? And whilst not making him sound like a douche, the applause and the thrill of playing for a bunch of people really gets Sam going, so show nights usually end up getting real steamy. You do sometimes get jealous because of Sam's numerous fan girls' behaviour, your mood souring slightly and your clingyness decreasing. Sam always notices though, and he makes sure that you know that you're the only one he has eyes for by rocking your world; starting the night with making you cum just from eating you out and fingering you, and then making you almost immobile after a couple long, pleasurable rounds. You already know that the man is good with his fingers, he's a guitarist for god's sake! Oh and that dick is good too, it's average and perfect that way, he's cut and has one prominent veiny on the underside, and the carpet matches the drapes but Sam makes sure that his bush is nicely trimmed; to ensure that you have no inconveniences when blowing him (which you do a lot).

Bonus: Harvey

You met him briefly on your first day in the village, but officially met and hit it off as friends when you went to him as a patient. A small friendship did bloom, you would hang out with Harvey from time to time, but there was ALWAYS some crazy tension of the sexual variety whenever the two of you were together.

It was kinda obvious that the two of you were pining over each other, but the first move wasn't made until you finally had enough of small compliments and lingering touches. After you had gone to the clinic for some ointment after scratching your arm up on the farm, you and Harvey had a usual moment of sexual tension and silence, his face just a few inches away from yours. You finally had enough and just grabbed the brunette's face and smashed your lips against his. Your fingers gently griping the doctor's brown curls as the two of you held a prolonged, passionate kiss. After said kiss, Harvey was RED in the face, and the end of your appointment was a little awkward. But during your next appointment, Harvey had mentioned that you two shouldn't let that happen again, to which you responded by kissing the man again. Harvey couldn't deny that he wanted to keep kissing you more than ever, but he had to pull you off, grunting out a "(Y/n). NO." in a disgruntled, HOT voice.

Harvey couldn't stop thinking about you though, so the two of you did start dating soon after the whole kiss fiasco. Dates together are really wholesome, the doctor being a true gentleman, so you two regularly go out on dinner dates where Harvey will wear his best dress and wine n dine you; usually giving you some sort of gift and showering you with compliments. Late-night cuddles whilst watching something are a must for Harvey, he likes the feeling of his arms around you, it makes him feel as if he's keeping you safe. Oh and dating a doctor has many benefits to it, the second you start to get suspiciously tired or sneeze one too many times, Harvey is putting you on a mandatory bed rest and he's in the kitchen cooking up a soup within seconds.

In the bedroom, Harvey is just as wholesome and romantic as you'd expect him to be. This man loves missionary! He's such a sweetheart, he just wants to make sure you're doing alright and feeling incredible. The brunette loves to have sex with you, he's constantly complimenting you and praising you, making sure you know how good you're making him feel. Lotsss of kissing with this man, Harvey just needs to feel even closer to you even though he's inside of you; and he needs to convey his love for you in a more physical way on top of literally pounding you like mad. You have such a thing for Harvey's moustache, ugh, especially while he's munching!! It just feels so funny, the hairs tickling you as the brunette's eating you out like a starved man. And he just looks so cute and hot when you can actually see him eating you out; his moustache pushed up slightly, his glasses getting pushed up his face and crooked from Harvey smushing his face into your cheeks, a thick blush covering his face. He's a little bit of a sub sometimes and likes it when you ride him and take control, Harvey likes to keep his hand on your hips as you gently ride him, letting out breathy moans as you show him just how good his dick is. Oh, and he definitely has a thing for roleplaying patient and doctor cause it reminds him of how you two met n started out! "Dr are you sure this is necessary?" "Of course, it is, now spread you're legs just a little more for me, let doctor get his probe in deeper"

Hope you guys enjoyed! Back home for chrimbo, might post a little who knows! I do have an essay to do for uni tho... Love ya guys! Laterz!

[spaceyaemonds]

god i love this premise, it’s so hilarious that Jack would wind up with a young baby mama. It’d be fun to think of this as pre-canon. So she can kinda fit in the whole first season, like a super young mom coming in to treat a burn or something with a little kid, she’s being seen by a resident whose like so unaware and then boom, Jack walks in and the gossip/stares start. I think Jack can’t really ignore what it looks like but would be annoyed by the stares but ultimately wouldn’t care. And she would just be like *shrugs* “he’s super hot”

Also I am eagerly waiting on the hilarious interaction of Jack telling Robby and Dana. “What’s worse than knocking up your one night stand?” “Um, she’s 23.” “Jesus Christ”

Or maybe when they go out they keep calling Jack grandpa. Or just the heavy looks when they see this very young milf smile around Jack. Just the heavy stares from Robby and Dana as they watch this young family grow lol.

I also think they could have this really cute but kinda dysfunctional family dynamic. Yes they have a healthy coparenting relationship. Dad is teaching the kid survival skills and taking him on camping excursions where they test said survival skills. Yes Mom is chill as hell, and spills tea about the crazy office dynamics while she crafts with her kid. And lowkey loves being a hot mom. Like yes mom and dad sometimes smash because they have needs and it’s just less mess and complication when they have this somewhat dysfunctional FWB situation, that has potential to blossom into something bigger.

Anyways I love this mini series it’s serious feeding me, that man is so fine with the salt and pepper hair. I can’t wait to read more.

hi friend!!! i am so so glad you have been enjoying this mini series!!!! i have loved sharing it with everyone here!! omg same, i am so obsessed with him he makes me SICKKK!

ahh!! i have a lot to say on this so answering under the cut!!

it is very funny to imagine jack getting off of shift on the day and hours into the day reader shows up in the ed with their (fat, because i love fat babies) baby, maybe two years old. baby slipped and bumped their head, and she doesn’t want to bother jack so she takes baby alone. she somehow misses robby and dana, ends up with whitaker, of all people. maybe perlah or princess notice baby abbot’s name on the board, immediately tell dana, who makes a quick call to jack. whitaker goes to check over the baby, and jack immediately jerks the door open, “get the hell away from my kid.” and whitaker just looks between reader, the baby, and jack, on the verge of throwing up. santos and mel are right outside when they hear everything and immediately are all 😮👀

dana and robby’s reactions are as expected. dana is majorly side eyeing, and robby is just like “jesus christ! twenty-three?!?!” and jack doesn’t even really try to defend himself. standing there like a puppy getting scolded lol.

i like to think that reader very often gets hit on, guys closer in age to her walking up to her when she’s with jack and baby abbot at the park, asking if her dad can keep an eye on the baby and maybe they can grab dinner. it always makes her laugh, and infuriates jack, has him mumbling all kinds of stuff like “sure, dad can watch baby.” because he understands that she’s a beautiful girl, but he can’t deny the jealousy he feels when people hit on her in front of him.

jack loves nothing more than spending time with his baby. more often than not, after a hard shift, he finds his way to her house, just asking to take a peek at baby but ends up sleeping on the floor next to the crib. and more often than not, he spends his nights off there, ending up in readers bed. he isn’t interested in seeing anyone else, and she can’t imagine dating when there’s so much tension and longing between her and jack.

i think it takes some time, but they do eventually end up together. they’ve lowkey just been together, though, just not official. jack never felt the need to try to put a label on it because he’s worried about “forcing” her into something she doesn’t want. he knows how he feels, and though is never 100% on how exactly she feels, he knows there’s something there. i also don’t think they ever really officially date. i like to imagine jack maybe just slips a ring on her finger one night, and they get married not long after!

[dark-l-angel]

Hi hi. I have just recently read your Omnilingual reader! And I absolutely loved it. I thought it was so cool and hilarious. Could one possibly have more???

Please :)

A/N : You want chaos do u? language flexing, and the boys absolutely baffled by y/n who casually speaks more tongues than Ra’s himself.

BATBOYS x OMNILINGUAL READER- Part 2

In the Batcave. Tensions are high. Sass is higher. Reader just decoded a villain's ancient message scrawled in 12th-century Aramaic, while wearing sweatpants and sipping a Slurpee.

Dick: "Okay, I’m just saying, it’s kinda hot that you just read that without Google Translate."

You said in perfect French "Si tu me flattes encore, je pourrais bien traduire ce que j'ai dit plus tôt en latin. Peut-être."

(Flatter me again and I might translate what I said in Latin earlier. Maybe.)

Jason was staring at you, jaw clenched "Alright, but like… how many languages do you speak?"

You simply answered "Fluently? Twenty-three. Without Including ASL, Morse code, and whatever it is Damian uses to talk to animals."

Damian looked from the corner, narrowing his eyes.. "You're exaggerating."

You chuckled and said in flawless Arabic : "هل أنا، حبيبي؟" (Am I, habibi?)

Tim slammed his coffee down "I just spent two days decoding that villain’s note. You did it in three minutes. And flirted with a UN ambassador at the same time."

You sipped your drink.. "He liked my dialectical usage of Swahili, what can I say?"

Bruce was silently watching, arms crossed, like he’s doing math. "...Where did you learn to speak Akkadian?"

You answered "I told you. That summer in Mesopotamia. Long story, involved camels, a cult, and a time traveler."

Jason was still staring "So... you single or what?"

You tilted your head "Depends. Can you tell me what 'I want you to shut up and kiss me' sounds like in Latin?"

Jason: "…Cupiam ut silescas et me osculeris."

You smirked "Hot. But your pronunciation's sloppy. Say it again.. slower."

[issybee06]

Good dog

RAHSHATAGAHAGAEFAGADYYDSTSTDGDYYD

<clears throat>

This man is my guiltiest pleasure

Spoilers for comics!

………….………….………….………….………….………….……….

Thragg didn’t actually plan on breeding with humans, that’s for his officers to do. He could be caught dead dirtying his hands with this matter, so trivial🙄

But then Mark introduces you and BAM he’s like “oh?”

No, Mark didn’t introduce you guys like that, you work for the GDA and you just so happened to be with Cecil and Donald the same time they were meeting Thragg. You give him a hand shake, a polite nod and smile, then go on with your day.

BUT IN HIS MIND

Mark, someone he’s tried to kill like a lot, just wingmaned him in like a weird way of astounding peace. Like a “hey man, here’s this smoking hot chick, don’t destroy our planet Tehe!”

So you guys are basically courting now, you don’t know this but he does so it’s totally legit.

When he’s not moping in his ship on the moon, gooning over the late Emperors skull like a weirdo, he’s moping in front of your apartment. Perched on the balcony, he’s keeping you safe. He watches you all night, he doesn’t need sleep, eyes never leaving your figure.

He’s weird.

He starts showing up at the pentagon, narrow eyes as he stands in the lobby and scares the receptionist shitless as he calmly asks with that deep scary voice where your office is. Hes ducking his 6’10 ass under doorways and squeezing through halls to find you.

He stands there at your door and is like, “hey wife, how’s work?🧍”

He just kinda sits there? Waiting for you to finish up, calmly in one of your office chairs. You don’t even know what the fuck to do with this giant ass man in your tinny office like what?

You kinda forget he’s there sometimes, he’s very quiet

Reader: sneezes

Thragg:…bless you shawty bae🫦

Reader: WHAT THE FU-

He follows you around everywhere, office, lab, mess hall, (NOT the bathroom you shut that down really quick) scary ass man staring down anyone talking to you. Scary dog privileges you never asked for.

Mark thinks it’s hilarious, but not in a funny way he just can’t believe the scariest guy ever is just sitting in your office and handing you shit when you ask.

Cecil hates this.

Cecil: that man is a conqueror of worlds and a mass murderer

Reader: I needed an assistant

Thragg: I like my wife

Bro never actually tells you you two are considered “married” in Viltrumite culture, he just likes being around you.

Finally you just kinda go, “why are you here?”

He’s offended.

Wounded.

How could you not know about the relationship no one told you about?!

“I’m here to insure my mate is in perfect health and safety.”

“…Huh?”

You have to explain things to him, which is funny cause he’s too stubborn and won’t agree. What do you mean you guys aren’t even friends? You’ve been married for MONTHS!

You guess you can try dating him…kinda. It’s hard to bring him places, he’s not exactly discreet, but it works.

After ever date he’s like, “cool, I did this stupid human thing, can we fuck now?”

Uh, no? Tf?

Takes a while for him to understand things, but eventually he kinda gets there.

If you do happen to enjoy him, and decide to get married, he’s very proud.

Married twice? Score!

Just wait till he gets your ass alone, you are not getting out of that bed. He was patient, he waited and did all those stupid human things, now he’s got you and he is NOT letting go.

[slut4megantheestallion]

Hello, I love ALL of your work, so if it's not too much of a hassle, I'd like to make a request. Arcane women x reader who is a very dangerous (and well-known) criminal and murderer in Zaun and Piltover, with a sadistic and manic personality. But when they meet her, they realize that the reader is quite kind and affectionate, maybe even a little shy. That's all, I hope you like my idea. Have a good day!

⋆ ☆Arcane Women x criminal!reader Headcannons

Characters: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Sevika, Mel, Ambessa.

Genre: fluff

Warnings ⚠️: Arcane Women x reader, Fem!reader, Criminal!Reader, mentions of murder, fluff, violence implied.

-Jinx

●Jinx is OBSESSED with you the moment she meets you. She expected someone as crazy as her, and while you definitely have your moments of sadistic mania, she's delighted to find out you're actually kinda cute.

●"Wait, wait, wait-so you're tellin' me you are the one that gutted those Piltie officers like a fish? You? Awww, cupcake, you look so precious when you blush.

●She teases you constantly about how different you are from your reputation. She finds it hilarious when you get flustered, but she loves seeing that dark, twisted side of you come out when necessary. It makes her giddy.

●Jink probably tries to provoke you just to see that manic glint in your eyes because damn, it's hot when you're in killer mode.

-Vi

●Vi is wary at first. She knows your reputation, and even if she's not exactly law- abiding herself, she has to keep an eye on you. But then... she sees you being soft?

●"You, uh... you sure you're the same person everyone's scared of?" Vi watches as you carefully, wrap a strat cat in a blanket, looking all concerned.

●Once she realized you're not as unhinged as the rumor says, she finds your duality intriguing. The idea that you could be a ruthless killer yet still get nervous when she flirts with you? Oh, she loves it.

●"Damn, sweetheart. You just slit a guy's throat, and now you're all shy 'cause I called you pretty? That's adorable."

-Caitlyn

●Caitlyn has to meet you under a professional circumstances first. As an enforcer, she knows exactly who you are and what you've done. She expects a remorseless, sadistic monster, not... whatever this is.

●She watches in shock as you nervously avoid eye contact, mumbling out something polite. She expects a challenge, but instead, she gets someone who stammers when complimented?

●Caitlyn doesn't trust you at first, but once she sees you softer side, she starts questioning everything.

●"You- you're a murder. A criminal. And yet you just helped that old woman cross the street?"

●The contradictory of your personality fascinates her. She might even hesitated to arrest you.

-Sevika

●Sevika knows what kind of person you are. She heard the rumors, seen the aftermath of your work, and yet... she never expected you to be so polite.

●She initially thinks it's an act, a manipulation tactic, but the more time she spends with you, the more she realizes it's genuine.

●"So let me get this straight... you've got half of Zaun scared shitless of you, and yet you can't even look me in the eye when I call you cute?" She smirks. "That's just pathetic, doll."

●Sevika is the type to test you, pushing your buttons just to see if the rumors hold weight. When you finally snap and go full psycho mode? She grins.

●"There's my girl."

-Mel

●Mel is intrigued by you the moment she hears your name. She’s dealt with powerful people before, but someone with your reputation? That’s a different kind of influence.

●“A killer with a soft heart…" how very unusual.” She studies you like a puzzle, fascinated by the way you switch between cold-blooded and sweet.

●Mel finds your duality entertaining. She’ll say something flirtatious just to watch your confident demeanor crack.

●“For someone so feared, you do crumble quite easily under my gaze. How adorable.”

●But she’s also deeply respectful of your strength. She knows better than to underestimate you, no matter how affectionate you are.

-Ambessa

●Ambessa isn’t easily impressed, but the moment she hears about you, she’s intrigued. A dangerous, high-profile criminal? She likes power, and you have plenty of it.

●When she meets you and sees how shy you are despite your reputation, she can’t help but chuckle.

●"I expected a monster. Instead, I find a kitten.”

●She enjoys the contrast. She also enjoys watching you switch from soft to brutal in an instant. It proves you’re not weak—just selective about who sees your true self.

[elllisaaa]

how about emo hot skater boy Jake with a massive dick energy and idk maybe like a kinda cocky reader who doesn't believe skater boy Jake is huge and he has to show the reader (who might be acting like a brat) what they're missing could be interesting

EMO SKATER!JAKE who's honestly kind of a loser when you really think about it. he's got his friend group and even if he's quite famous for his unconventional style, none of these people are really friends with him. he spends all his days either listening to music and trying to learn guitar, or skating and perfecting his tricks.

what is maddening is how hot he is despite all of that. you cannot help but stare at him every time you find yourself practicing at the skatepark at the same time as him. however, you don't want to let him know that you're kind of attracted to him. so instead, you always tease him about his style - even if it suits him perfectly - or the fact that he's probably still a virgin with a cocky smirk on your face.

jake usually puts up with your bratty attitude because he knows that what you say is not true, and because he's pretty sure you don't think a word of it. he might look like a loser but he's not an idiot - he can feel the way you're often staring at him. however the jokes about him being inexperienced are getting quite old.

"i'm probably the first girl you talked to in real life though, so i'm not surprised you're still a virgin." jake sighs as you grinned at him with a glint of mischief in your eyes, but he has had enough of your temperament. "actually, that's not what they all said when they saw how big i was baby." the pet name he always gives you and that made your skin hitch at the beginning is slowly growing on you, now making a shiver run down your spine. but you try to stay focused, even if the way jake is looking at you and licking his lips makes it hard to concentrate on forming coherent sentences. "pff ! you ? a big cock ? that's pretty hilarious at least, i have to give you that."

jake rolls his eyes at you, and you try not to move as he gets closer, but you still fall from your board. but the boy in front of you is quick to wrap an arm around your waist and save you from an unwanted meet up with the ground. jake takes this as an opportunity to let his lips brush against your cheek, his long, soft brown hair tickling your face he whispers in your ear : "maybe i should show you how huge i am if you still don't believe me. maybe you'll finally shut up once i got your tight pussy stretched open on my dick."

the air around you seems to thicken, and you cannot breathe properly anymore as jake starts to suck and lick your neck. heat rises to your face, both from his dirty proposal and his kisses that make arousal pool into your underwear. "so what now baby ? cat got your tongue ?" his condescending tone as he bites down on the flesh just under your jaw finally shakes you out of your slumber - even if you had to hold back a whimper the moment his teeth grazed your skin. "i bet you couldn't even make me cum, you're such a loser jake." - "bet darling."

that's how you found yourself in the backseat of his car, ass up in the air and face down buried into one of his sweater, his scent maybe driving even more insane than his actually very big cock thrusting into you at a rapid pace. "not so cocky now, uh ? all you needed was an inch of my dick to shut up." and you want to answer, you want to deny, but at this point, you're only able to moan and bite the inside of your cheeks to not let any more sounds slip past your lips. "fuck… you're such a whore y/n."

you feel jake leaning forward, one of his hands still gripping your hips tightly and the other clenching at the door of the car for some more leverage. his firm abs are pressed against the small of your back, and his hot stammered breath is crashing right against your ear - you feel overstimulated in the best way possible. "admit it now baby." - "n-no !" - "come on, you can feel how deep i am right ? you can feel how much i'm stretching out your tight little cunt, don't lie." but you still shake your head, choking on your words as you try to disagree again, instead cut by a loud moan when jake hits your sweet spot. you clench even tighter around him, and he cannot hold back the low, throaty groan slipping past his lips.

"you're so tight baby, must feel good to be this full." yes, it really does, but you don't want to admit it - as if the tears rolling down your cheeks and the way your lips are bleeding from biting them too much are not enough proof. "n-no, don't like it…" - "you're such a bad liar, y/n, it's pathetic." and then he resumes his rhythmic thrusts, hitting your sweet spot precisely each and every time, and it becomes way harder to hold back your noises. your fists close around the material of his hoodie, burying your face into his intoxicating scent in an attempt to drown out your whines. "j-jake… s-stop, i'm…" you have to mentally stop yourself from saying the words, but you can almost feel the way jake smirks against the skin of your neck that he's been biting and licking at. "what was that baby ? are you close ?" you shake your head no again, and jake's smirk is growing as he stops moving completely, cock sitting deep inside of you. "then i'll stop if you don't want to cum."

your reaction is immediate : you whine loudly when you feel him start to pull out, even more tears gathering in your eyes. "no, no, no, no ! jake, wait !" - "what is it now ?" your voice is quiet when you answer, but jake still hears it clearly : "wanna cum… please." the beg falling past your lips entices him into thrusting back into you full force and this time you don't even make an attempt at keeping your voice down, screaming out his name so loud that everyone in the parking lot must have heard you. "admit it, baby. say that i'm big and then i'll let you cum." you don't want to, but the way he's rutting his hips into you and driving you closer and closer to your orgasm is getting to your head, your mind fogged up by lust. "s-so big jake, so fucking big, feels so good… please, please…" - "now that's a good girl. cum."

the simple command is enough for you to let go, his name slipping past your lips again as you grip his cock even tighter, making it almost impossible for jake to move. but the way you become putty in his hands feels even better. what he loves the most though is the way you're too weak to push him away when he thrusts inside of you again, seeing your body visibly tremble as he starts to fuck you again. "i'm gonna give you my cum, make you even more full of me. maybe that'll keep your mouth shut a little longer baby." you hardly comprehend the meaning of his words, but you don't really care when jake is moaning about how good you're squeezing him, you don't really care when he quickly brings you to the brink of another orgasm. you don't really care because you know that you'll be teasing him again the next morning, hoping that he'll fuck you in the backseat of his car all over again.

[gossameres]

chapter two, poncho punch

pairing: jacob black x f. reader

notes: i realized writing this i abuse em dashes so…oops… anyway here is more cute fluffy jake

genres: childhood friends, best friends to lovers, mutual pining

word count: 2k

prev. series masterlist! next.

The first few mornings of May in Forks arrived slowly, like the sun was still shy about showing its face. Contrary to popular belief, summers in Washington do come—and when they do, the clouds finally pull back and the sun becomes a welcomed guest after months of gray.

Today is one of those quietly golden days. You wake to soft light filtering through your window blinds and the gentle tap of birds on the roof. Rolling onto your back, your eyes trace the knotty wood ceiling above you. It smelled faintly of old books and damp earth from the rain earlier in the week–and part of you liked that the house hasn’t tried to be anything other than what it was. Forks never changed much.

But Jacob did. And you still haven’t quite figured that out.

You see him most days now, which you don’t mind—actually, you kind of like it. You never had that many friends in Forks to begin with, and the few you did have moved away, just like you had. Jake would show up with that lopsided grin and some excuse to get you out of the house—down to First Beach, out by Sol Duc, or just cruising around in his rebuilt Rabbit, pointing out every small thing that has changed since you were last here. He makes it feel easy, like old times, but there’s always something unsaid in the air between you. Like every sentence hangs with an ellipsis.

This afternoon, he came by again. You’re both on the porch swing, spending one of those perfect slow afternoons doing absolutely nothing. Your parents are out for the day—visiting friends, maybe, but you didn’t ask. You’re busy…with Jake. Your knees are hugged to your chest, one earbud in, and Jake’s got the other. He’s nodding along to the playlist you made—Beyoncé, Nelly Furtado, and his now not-so-secret favorite: Avril Lavigne.

“It’s getting kinda hot,” he says suddenly, tugging the earbud out. “Otter Pop?”

You grin. “Yes, please. Can you get me—”

“Poncho Punch. Yeah, I know.” He’s already standing, smirking. “Be right back.”

You laugh as he jogs inside like it’s a mission. A few minutes later, he returns with two hilariously oversized Otter Pops. The kind your parents bought in bulk just because they were cheaper than the regular ones.

He tosses you the orange one, keeping the red one for himself.

“You still eat the red ones first, huh?”

“This one’s got a bite,” he says, tearing the plastic with his teeth. “Kinda like me. Fiery. Intense. Unapologetically cool.”

You snort. “Please stop psychoanalyzing your artificially dyed sugar water, weirdo.”

He grumbles but sits down beside you anyway, unwrapping his pop fiercely. You do the same. The earbuds go back in, and you both fall into that easy rhythm again—breeze in the trees, tires on gravel in the distance, his arm warm where it brushes yours.

For a while, it’s like no time passed at all. But you still can’t quite believe the shift in him. The height. The new muscles. The serious way he carries himself sometimes, like he’s older than he should be. When you asked, he’d just muttered something about a growth spurt, but you didn’t buy it. You didn’t change that much, not really. But Jake always insisted you had.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he tenses slightly as he pulls it out. One glance and his jaw tightens.

“Everything okay?” you ask, still eating your popsicle.

“Yeah,” he says too fast, shoving the phone back into his jeans. “Just Sam.”

You tilt your head, eyebrows furrowed. “Sam Uley?”

“Mhm.” He hesitates, then shrugs like it’s no big deal, “The guys are hanging out tonight. You should come.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah. Bonfire at the beach. Everyone’ll be there.”

Everyone. You bite your lip. You’d been looking forward to a quiet night settling in, but the idea of seeing Embry and Quil again makes your chest lift a little. You alway loved tagging along with the three of them, even if they were total chaos. Quil and Embry never treated you like you couldn’t keep up–and Jake never loved that. He was always protective over you for some reason.

“Okay,” you say after a moment. “Yeah, I’ll go.” Then you pause. “But I thought you didn’t like Sam?”

Jake rolls his eyes slightly, like he expected this question.

“Things change,” he pauses. “I got over it. We’re… cool now.”

You give him a look. “That’s it?”

He shrugs again, but his smile is a little crooked. “I dunno. Sometimes you realize you were wrong about people.”

You decide not to press. Not today, at least.

Your Otter Pop drips a bright orange line down your wrist and you fumble for the hem of your shirt–but Jake’s faster. Without a word, he leans in, catching the melting trail with his thumb, wiping it gently from your skin. His touch lingers, warm and a little too careful. You glance up and for a second–just one second–he’s looking at you like he’s seeing something new. Like he’s remembering something old.

The moment passes. He leans back with a grin that’s too casual and shoves his finished Otter Pop wrapping into his other pocket.

“I’ll pick you up at eight.”

And just like that, he stands, heading down the porch steps like nothing happened–like his fingers didn’t just leave a burning line on your skin.

You spend the next few hours cleaning up, texting your parents (who are, predictably, still out), and trying not to overthink the way Jacob had looked at you earlier.

Because it had been different than anything you were used to.

You’d known Jacob Black since you were kids and had seen every version of him–from the scrawny eight-year old who challenged you to races on the beach (and won every time) to the sulky fourteen-year-old who pretended not to care when you told him you were moving. You don’t remember the exact moment when you met Jacob. He was just there–holding your hand when you jumped off the jungle gym, pushing you on the swing, playing tag. Somewhere along the way, he just stuck.

But the way he’d stared at you today–like he was seeing you for the first time–that was new. You shake your head. You’re probably just imagining things.

At exactly 8:00 PM, the roar of Jacob’s motorcycle cuts through the quiet of the evening. You grab your jacket and head outside where he’s waiting, helmet in hand.

“You sure you’re okay on this thing?” you question, eyeing the bike.

He smirks. “Scared?”

“No,” you lie.

He laughs and tosses you the helmet. “Relax. I’ve got you.”

Something about the way he says it makes your stomach flip, but you climb on behind him anyway, gripping the sides of his jacket as the engine rumbles to life beneath you.

“Hold on tighter than that,” he says over his shoulder. “Unless you wanna eat pavement for dinner.”

You roll your eyes but slide your arms around his waist, pressing closer. His breath hitches, barely, before he revs the engine and takes off. The wind rushes past as you speed down the road, the trees blurring into one long streak. Jacob’s warmth seeps into you, even as the cool air nips at your cheeks, his back solid against your chest and despite your earlier nerves, you find yourself relaxing.

Because this is Jacob–with him, you’ve always been safe.

First Beach is just as you remember it. Smoke and salt in the air, the crash of waves blending with the snap of logs in the bonfire. The group’s already gathered–Embry, Quil, Sam, and a few others you barely recognize. You remember their faces from around La Push, though you’d never known them well. The ones you can’t quite recall the name of sit slightly apart from the rest, arms crossed but with a faint smile when they catch your eye.

You didn’t expect to be greeted like someone returning home, but Embry jumps up first, nearly tackling you with a hug.

“No way it’s you!”

Quil follows right behind him, shaking his head. “City life didn’t ruin you after all.”

“Shut up,” you retort, hugging him too. “Barely a city, even.”

Sam offers a polite nod and a small smile. “Good to see you.”

“You too,” you reply tight-lipped, still taking it all in.

Jacob stays close to your side as you find a spot around the fire. You catch Quil nudging Embry and whispering something that sounds like, “She’s basically part of the–” before Sam shoots them both a look that shuts them up. You raise an eyebrow but don’t question it.

Despite the unfamiliar faces, the night settles into a rhythm. The heat of the fire, the low rumble of conversation, the occasional laugh from Paul that always seems louder than it needs to be. You talk with Leah for a while, glad for the presence of another girl. She's blunt, dryly funny, and easy to talk to once she warms up. It's nice—not being the only one. Someone mentions the old Quileute stories, and a few of the guys start joking about them, but you catch the shift in their expressions. Something passes between them.

You smile faintly. “I remember Billy used to tell us those stories,” you say quietly. “You never believed any of them, Jake.”

Jacob doesn’t laugh. Instead, he looks at the fire, then at you. “Maybe I was wrong.”

There’s a silence there, brief but thick.

It’s only your second full day back, but you’ve caught Jacob staring more than once—longer than before, longer than friends should. You catch him doing it again now, the firelight reflected in his eyes, something unreadable behind them. He looks away when you meet his gaze. Eventually, the others begin to drift off, pairing up or heading home. Quil tosses another log into the fire with a lazy salute before he disappears with Embry into the dark.

“Bonfires aren’t the same without your terrible ghost stories,” you say.

Jacob smirks. “You were always the one who got scared, not me.”

You both laugh softly.

When it’s just the two of you left, the sounds of the ocean fills the quiet, waves crashing in rhythm with your pulse. Jacob stands and offers you a hand. You take it, letting him pull you to your feet–but when you go to let go, his fingers linger, just a second longer than they need to.

The ride back is quieter. The wind bites a little more than before, but Jacob’s presence keeps you grounded. When he pulls up in front of your house, he doesn’t cut the engine right away. The night hangs suspended between you, thick with something unspoken.

“Thanks for tonight,” you murmur, voice nearly swallowed by the hum of the bike.

Jacob finally turns to look at you, his dark, brown eyes reflecting off the porch light. “Anytime,” he says, low and earnest, like he means it in every possible way.

You hand him his helmet, and your fingers brush against his, sending a jolt up your arm.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?” he asks, uncharacteristically hesitant, like a kid waiting for reassurance.

You smile and nod. “Obviously.”

On the porch as you fumble for the keys, your heart still thuds from the ride–or maybe from the way his hands lingered or the way his voice dipped when he said “anytime.” All these little moments of extra long touches and the loaded glances are building up, and as you close the door behind you, something settles heavy in your chest: something is changing. You don’t have a name for it yet, but it’s there, undeniable as the tide.

[tootiecakes234]

You’re out with Katsuki. You guys had gone to dinner and were now strolling along the street, enjoying each others company.

It’s kinda nippy outside, but you were trying nowt to show it because he had told you to grab a jacket on the way out the door. In your defense a jacket would’ve clashed with this outfit and when you’d left the house it was not nearly this cold outside.

You still looked hot thought. You have on a halter top and your tits are sitting nice and high in chest, a skirt that hugged your ass just right and some kitten heels that gave that extra little height you needed and made your legs look great.

A little cold was actually worth it for the number of times you’d seen Kats looking down at your chest over the course of the evening.

“‘Yer fucking freezing arentcha??” He said said all smug and cutting those red eyes of his at you.

“N-No. ‘m fine, why?” You ask but your teeth had started chattering a little.

“Such a shitty liar. We are holding hands dumbass. I can feel your body almost vibrating.” And he slipped his hands out of yours and start shrugging off his jacket.

“I don’t want your jacket. I’m not cold, hoes don’t get cold. And my tits look too good to be covering them up.”

“Yea well this hoe is gonna catch a goddamn cold if you don’t cover yourself up and then that same hoe is gonna come crawling to me like a baby when she’s feeling miserable so put the damn jacket on.”

He opens the jacket for you to slide you arms in.

“You think you just know everything” you try to be sarcastic but a huge chill runs through you as you slide into his very very warm jacket. You were actually positive that this man was his own personal furnace. It felt like this jacket just came out of the dryer.

“Mmmmm thank you.” You mumble.

“What I didn’t hear you” and this time it’s your eyes cutting towards him to see the smirk on his face and crinkles by his eyes. He’d better be glad he’s cute.

“I said thank you asshole.”

“Now assholes truly don’t ever get cold.”

“Especially not yours with all those buns keeping it warm.” You chuckle at yourself cuz you’re just so hilarious.

“Give me back my damn jacket and freeze.”

Katsuki Masterlist

Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @i-literally-cant-with-this @xxvendettaxx @justbepeace @moonpieshawdy @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82

*let me know if you want to be added to the tag list💕

[sl003]

SESE's Fic Recs Part 2 (ATEEZ)

Hi and hello! Today, i present to you the second part of my fic recs because i spend waaaay too much time reading stuff on here when i should be working on my own stories, hahah :) I just have so many ideas that it's hard to stick with one, you know?

Anyway, it's the same as before, the fics will be sorted by members, my all time favourites are marked with a "♡". And as this one is a bit shorter than the previous one, you can be sure that this one will be updated from time to time.

You can find the first part here:

SESE's Fic Rec (ATEEZ)

And as you can probably notice by these fic recs, i'm a sucker for long ass fics, i just love them so much! (no hate to shorter fics, they're just as good!!!)

Warning: Some of the fics will have a bit of "commentary" from me below them, these might contain spoilers for the fics, just so you've been warned.

Once again, a giant thank you to all the incredibly skilled and talented authors out there for creating these masterpieces!!! <3 You deserve all the love for doing what you do and allowing us to read and take part in that!

And because I have a habit for reading and recommending a lot of fics from the same authors, i'll just tag them once in this even if there's more than one fic. hope that's okay :)

Anyway, have fun reading!!!

PS: if any of the links are wrong or don't work, feel free to tell me so i can try and fix it.

KIM HONGJOONG

Philoselene - @ncteez (6.2k)

alt!stoner!hj x kinda!detached(?)!reader

♡ It Can't Be That Hard - @seung-hwa (12k)

brother's best friend!hj x reader / college au / exes to lovers

i'm a sucker for the "brother's best friend" trope, so it was already quite clear that i was going to love this. and well, i was right with my suspicion. the dynamic between all the characters is just so *chef's kiss*. i kinda felt bad for yunho, though... that guy has been sneaking his way into my heart lately, so no surprise there... (i mean the thing with the knitted hat? so damn cute!)

Cry For Me - @yeostinys (3 parts)

ceo!hj x secretary!r

this is normally not a plot that i read very often, but this was so incredibly good, oh wow. reader is really a bit of a crybaby, but like in a so not annoying way, you know? i loved it, read it.

♡ I'll Let The World Burn - @koyagifs (3.4k)

dragon rider!hj x dragon!r

this was such an interesting read because reader is a dragon in this one. but i love how their close bond was portrayed and it was so sad... i was this close to crying, i'm telling you. but i loved every second of it.

PARK SEONGHWA

Where Water Turns To Flame - @sungbeam (6.1k)

dragon!sh x dragon!r

♡ Playing With Fire - @ateezmakemeweep (5 parts)

(kinda)sugar daddy!sh x daughter's bff!r

hoooly shit. this was a rollercoaster. a real good rollercoaster. the relationship between the reader and seonghwa is so sweet and hot at the same time. (tbh, during the time eunbi and mrs. park were mad pissed at reader, i was kinda on their side, because if i was in their shoes, i'd be as well, but like i get the reader too, cause it's hwa) and i also love the dynamic between reader and eunbi, especially after the whole shitshow that went down, when eunbi is chill with reader and seonghwa's relationship, it's so hilarious.

JEONG YUNHO

Love Again - @xomakara (6.1k)

single!dad!y x single!mom!r

Guerrilla - @sorryimananti-romantic (27k)

doctor/serial killer!yh x crime author!r

♡ You Can Run But You Can't Hide - @bvidzsoo (25.8k)

vampire hunter!yh x vampire!r

i've been a little vampire fanatic since i was a child, so i really like vampire tropes. and i've especially come to like the vampire x vampire hunter pairing (probably cause of my love for enemies to lovers). the tension between them is crazy and i love it. the detail that did it for me though is the one with feeling pleasure from the biting and drinking from each other. i remember that i've read something with that a very long time ago, and it stuck with me since then. so finally seeing this in a fic again was sooo cool, it's just so intimate. and the small cameos (if you can call it that) of mingi and seonghwa? so tragic, yet so sweet.

Summer's Dive - @santheestallion (30k)

brother's bff!yh x reader

i've actually only read the first part to this, somehow i haven't gotten to read the other two (i think it's two other parts?). until now i totally loved it, and i'm sure the other parts are just as good, i'll have to read them as soon as possble!

KANG YEOSANG

♡ Don't Lean On Me - @sweetinsaniiity (27k)

tsundere!outcast!ys x semi-stalker!r

i'm writing this one day after i read it for the first (and the second) time (11.01.25) and holy shit. in my previous fic rec i've stated that "entropy" (also a ys fic) is my all time fav fic, well this one just tied with it, if it has not even surpassed it (no hate to entropy, it will always have a special place in my heart), cause this is incredible. i love these type of fics and the way yeosang was portrayed here made me feel some type of way (in the best way possible). the small details and gestures from him, oh my god. seriously, if you're as yeosang biased as i am, you definitely need to read this. or just read it anyway, i'll force you if i have to <3

A World In Your Colours - @ bvidzsoo

daycare teacher!ys x florist!r (soulmate au)

CHOI SAN

Stay Focused - @beginningofwonderland (12.5k)

office worker!san x uni student!r

SONG MINGI

My Way - @ sorryimananti-romantic (18k)

guard!mg x princess!r

Orange Soda - @atozfic (13.4k)

single!dad!mg x reader / fwb to lovers

By Her Side - @arilevenatz (8.5k)

bodyguard!mg x princess!r (modern royalty)

i've never read anything like this before. obviously the bodyguard x princess trope is pretty common (and i eat it up every time) but not in the way this was made (with the age gap and all). when i read the summary, i was a bit unsure but i knew i just had to read it, and i was not disappointed. their relationship is so sweet and this fic? AMAZING. and as i'm writing this i'm realizing that i've literally just recommended two mingi fics with this trope, well what can i say? bodyguard!mingi is just *chefs kiss*

♡ Love Me Like A Rockstar - @ bvidzsoo (15 chapters)

uni student/local rockstar!mg x uni student!r

oh dear, i can't even begin to describe. as you can probably tell here, mingi has been on my mind a lot. and this series, wow. i've read this in one evening, i was so invested. tbh, reader was unnecessarily rude to mingi a lot, but like i get it because of her past (though letting it out on mingi wasn't really cool of her, i mean, it wasn't his fault). but seriously, this story is so amazing. from the detail of her suddenly starting to draw mingi instead of yunho to how mingi just suddenly starts being nice to her even if she's still behaving like a jerk. and just when their friendship (love their texting, by the way) starts to progress, reader goes and pulls that shit? i was hooked. and i also was totally on seulgi's side for a second when she called just to shit on reader hahah. anyway, such an amazing and sweet story!!! <3

JUNG WOOYOUNG

coming soon ... (i need to read more about him again, this is my sign)

CHOI JONGHO

♡ (Not) Another Love Song - @yourlocaljonghoe (11.5k)

uni student!jh x uni student!r (roommates to lovers)

her basically only being able to sleep when she listens to jongho's covers on youtube? so cute. and how socially awkward she is? it felt so relatable, because honestly? i'm the same way. normally, i enjoy reading fics with a more confident reader (something that i'm not, but i like to pretend) but it also feels so amazing to read something with a socially awkward reader like here. and the way he covers the song she was talking about to him just like a day earlier?? now that, folks, is love.

POLY/MULTIPLE

♡ Compass Of The Heart - @velvetvisionsaurora (ongoing series)

pirate au // hj x r / sh x r / mg x r / yh x r / wy x r

oh my god. this story is so precious to me you don't understand. the scenes from when they were children? i could have cried. and the way each of the boys has a nickname for her is so cute. and i'm such a sucker for her relationship to mingi. i love the way he is written as like the guy that doesn't talk much and the deep connection between them is so sweet. and generally the way everyone treats her, i love it. i get so excited everytime a new chapter of this gets posted.

Hope you enjoyed these, because i certainly did!!

'Til then, bye bye <3

-Sese

[fillinforlater]

The Archive of Smite

This page belongs to the writer named Smite. He wrote fics starting in September of 2021 up until April 2024. In these 2,5 years, over 8.000 people followed him to read some of the craziest k-pop girl group smut out there. Almost 150 stories of sex in all kinds of positions, for many reasons, all over the world (and in outerspace), with too many kinks to count.

"When I started, I kinda wanted to become the best. I wanted my favorite writers at the time - Levi, Peach, Sins, and many more - to know that I could write as good as they can. I wanted to go wilder and crazier."

Smite, though ambitious, was also stupid and naive. At roughly the same time he started writing, two other community legends began their careers. IZ and Kaede crushed everything in their sight, especially the former becoming an absolute legend.

"Writing was fun. At times, it was escapism from everyday worries. At other times, it was fulfillment of fantasies I could never reach. Mostly though, it was just horny. BFH that just became words. If you go through my Masterlist, you might see which idols had some random heights or were just... Always on my hot list."

Smite never really stopped writing, not for long stretches that is. It didn't really occur to him that there might be a sudden, drastic reason to stop. He considered doing so anyways. Something about writing porn about irl people without them knowing or wanting - needless to say, it is an odd hobby. Nevertheless, he enjoyed it amd the community it brought with it.

"I fucking love these guys. So many hilarious peoplefrom all over the world. One became like my best friend, a rock during my emotional struggles. Another was my boyfriend for a short time. Man, I screwed up with him kekw. There are too many to mention. I've had long talks with some, others just came by and listened to me mald or something. I love you all, some of you I consider true friends - part of my soul - and I feel connected, even if you are thousands of miles away."

2024 started stressful for Smite. The pressure of Uni started to collapse on him. Even the thought of big kpop concerts wasn't enough to cheer him up. Luckily though, there was this girl. Sweet, kind, caring and in the same position. Soon, he had found something that seemed impossible. She was in love with him and he in love with her. And when everything unraveled.

"I stopped writing. I burried my drafts. I finished only one story and released it way later. I'm sorry I didn't announce it properly, but I just felt that this smut writing career was over. I don't regret it - I gained something beautiful I want to keep for the rest of my life. She is at least as pretty as Minju, so I call that the biggest win imaginable lol."

So no more smuts from Smite?

"99% no"

No more fanfictions/girl group stories in general?

"Eh, 80% no. Still some unfinished angst that I would love y'all to read tho"

Will you ever reach those 150 fics?

"We will see. In this count there are fics with less than 1000 words. I might just sneeze and finish it kekw"

Any fic you regret not writing?

"Not really? Maybe a proper ending for Starship: Horizon? Or yet another Minju fic? Futa stuff? Gaeul angst x female reader? Or how about a fic with 69 different idols at once? Who but me would dare to write something so stupid?"

Do you think you reached your initial goal?

"Do I consider myself the GOAT? No. That title belongs to either Peach, Levi or IZ. But I know that of my now 8.700 followers some consider me their favorite writer. I'm flattered and thank you very much for reading amd enjoying my work."

Now for the most important question: does this post mean you are finally leaving the community behind for good? Is this your last hoorah?

"..."

"Never."

[2handsslan]

oscar piastri // op81 fic recs

———————————— 🏎️🏎️ ————————————

one shots

mixup - @no-144444

“oscar gets a bit jelly when you and franco get close”

maybe i should stop pretending… - @charlesslut16

“you are in a relationship and give everything but your partner.... does not, so oscar is there...”

operation mistletoe - @katsu28

“all it takes is one meddling lando norris and some mistletoe at the mclaren holiday party for oscar and yourself to admit your true feelings for each other”

the leanover - @ribbonskiss

“you come home on uni break to find your brother’s best friend, oscar, is visiting. you both fall back into old habits, but some things are not the same”

marks on your body - @mywritersmind

“in which it starts with strip poker and ends with questions about a specific hidden tattoo and some secret piercings. or, lando and oscar are both hot for you and let you know it”

sí... estamos saliendo - @vettelsvee

“scared of everyone to find out, y/n pérez and oscar piastri decide to hide their relationship from everyone until checo starts wondering how piastri learnt to speak spanish so good... and specially why he has a mexican accent”

series

presenting... y/n y/l/n! - @no-144444

“tweets about our favourite f1 commentator!”

playing favorites- @no-144444

“your first season as an f1 driver doesn't start the best, and you quickly realise mclaren doesn't like women very much. on top of that, your race engineer is as smug as the rest of them, and you have to deal with him all the time”

what happens in vegas, does not stay in vegas - @pomegranatesarchive

“turns out that getting blackout drunk and marrying your brothers coworker is kinda a big deal. who would’ve thought?”

track walk - @acesofspadess

“you were invited to the miami gp for your track walk series on social media, what follows after you run into a certain papaya boy, no one could prepare you for...”

smau

next top wag - @lewcodina

“in the world of formula one where wag culture is a big thing, everyone can agree that oscar piastri is the best one”

afterglow - @chaostudee

“y/n and oscar are childhood bestfriends and y/n tries to be supportive as she can by coming to his races and cheering him on. oscar enjoys y/n's company but sometimes he wishes that he could have you all to himself. in truth you are both just to stubborn to admit that you like each other, a little more than just friends”

2 hands - @goldsainz

“you and oscar announce your relationship by having him feature in your music video”

meddle about - @verstarppen

“the singapore heat can't kill you, but the sight of oscar sweaty and disheveled just might”

matchmaker - @harrysfolklore

“oscar finds a puppy wandering around the streets of monaco that leads him to meet his lucky charm”

teammates - @housepartyprotocol

“oscar and his teammate have a close hilarious relationship”

“mothers” best friend ! - @goldsainz

“oscar cannot stop thinking about charles’ girlfriend’s best friend”

you are in love - @ttpdstri

“in which they’d managed to keep their relationship a secret (although people thought they were in love but oblivious) until one of their friends finds a way to expose it”

papaya rules - @5sospenguinqueen

“from on-track rivals to reluctant teammates, the trauma of team orders issued by mclaren bond you and oscar in a way you never expected”

locked in a closet - @pomegranatesarchive

“lando norris locks his two bestfriends in a broom closet in hopes that they’ll stop hating each other”

it’s nice to have a friend series - @luvstappen

“lando is one of your closest friends… until he sleeps with you and ghosts you”

*these are part of my fic rec masterlist, please note none of these are written by me and the author of each story had been tagged! check out my f1 fic rec masterlist for other drivers!*