#is just the dumbest guy ever

[cherryatombomb]

hear me out but. vet (as in. animal vet) ghost w soap who has a very embarrassing crush on him, and gets the very smart idea to ask him out by pretending his dog's sick so he can go and see him

except he never quite finds the courage the first few times

so he just. keeps going back. with this animal that is very well cared for and absolutely loving life at the vet's, whilst johnny keeps fumbling over his words and never quite managing to explicitly ask ghost out

(he eventually musters up the courage. ghost is very charmed and pretending he isn't. bonus points if soap's pet somehow managed to get them into a fluster-y moment. ye classic rom com lead ties two people up moment.)

[lygma-nygma]

Honest to god Titans Tower is probably the funniest thing that's ever happened in comics to me? Like, there's so much to unpack here it's insane?? The tear-away stripper Red Hood costume? The knock-off Robin costume with the stupid ass yellow tights that somehow looks worse than if Jason just rocked the bare thighs? The way Jason is drawn like he is fully 35 with two stepkids and a mortgage? Jason inventing fanfiction about Tim and Bruce's relationship in his head because he refuses to believe Tim actually stalked his way into being Robin?? Trying to mimic his crowbar death by beating Tim with his own staff but I as a reader am entirely unable to take it seriously because of those stupid fucking tights-

And then you get to Tim's side of things and he says like, all of 5 things the entire time and three of them are a coded 'fuck you'. He has absolutely no time or respect for Jason's pity party and it's actually hysterical because Jason cannot stop yapping. Meanwhile, Tim is like, definitely losing the fight which makes it funnier?? Then the ending?? Jason scrawling "Jason Todd was here" on the wall in blood (or red paint meant to look like blood, up in the air) and signing it with a handprint like he's a middle schooler who just discovered Creepypasta???? Ripping the 'R' off Tim's costume when he's literally already unconscious?? Zipping away from the scene thinking "damn I actually like that kid, wish I had friends tbh"??

And then it's literally never brought up again.

[victorian-nymph]

Terrible shirts I saw and john carpenters slut trilogy kurt russell characters

[caleb-is-existing]

Ngl

I don't see Lance doing what is being spread.

Would it be funny? Yeah

Is it stupid? Yeah

Do we wait for real confirmation? Yeah

[roxyteal]

It was only supposed to be Joe 5 with three others, but then this happened and now a wholeass roster has formed...

The beauty mark became a star tattoo (he painted over it). Also I'm trying out a beige jacket instead. The orange works better here.

Blue variation:

[kuzann]

Reasons I have a hard time taking canon Vlad 100% seriously:

His nemesis is a freaking 14 year old this is self-explanatory

Keeps getting beaten/outsmarted by a gaggle of teens

Blew up his own house because he couldn't be bothered to do general maintenance on a piece of very valuable and potentially explosive lab equipment

Got bodied by Jack that one time and decided to never fight him again, Jack is canonically 1-0 in a direct 1v1 fight against Plasmius and that is too funny

Gets bodied by his own idiot schemes

Somehow couldn't figure out how to hire a hitman to take out the guy he's hated for years and sends the one thing Jack is supposed to be good at fighting to do the job instead. Are you trying to fail, Vlad?

Got eaten by a monster that one time. Embarrassing.

Did not do his homework when it came to how strong a ghost was at least twice and endangered the entire world and Ghost Zone because of this

In the bad timeline he caused the apocalypse because he is that bad at parenting and somehow didn't think to just send the kid to therapy and grief counseling instead of jumping straight to the mad scientist shit

There's probably more but these are the ones I can think of at the moment. Like he's absolutely done horrible things, no question about it, but then I remember the above and I'm just. All I can do is laugh.

[sillylittleguyinatrenchcoat]

i binged csm after forgetting to watch the new episodes consecutively every single week since episode 5, made some sillies as protocol demands

[mendely]

love that in transformers there is a guy called swindle who loves money and conning it off people.

[goodhickey]

don't ever look at popular social media personalities opinions on or check the tags related to a movie explicitly about the queer experience Worst mistake of my life. every single time a queer movie has gotten popular cishet people come out in droves to posit that Actually, my interpretation of the film where instead of being weird faggots everyone is normal is Just as valid as your stupid gay interpretation . and I'm meant to be like yeah okay

[moopermoment]

i take jetkie very seriously

[wanderingbards]

William, looking at Ashe's shoes and trying to play it cool: I like your shoelaces

Mark Winters, not even looking their direction: Thanks, I stole them from the president.

William, Dakota, Summer, Tide, Silhouette, God Herself: 0.0

[just-an-enby-lemon]

Cluemaster: Hey, bro, I know I never call...

Kiteman: You did drunk call me that one time.

Cluemaster: I already said I was sorry for spreading around that you were in love with your kite and calling you to brag about it. As you said I was hella drunk and angry your weird ass podcast somehow now has the same level of fans as my old gameshow. Who the fuck cares that much about kites? Or C list vilany?

Kiteman: Did you just call to remind me why I hate you?

Cluemaster: Of course not, Chucky boy, your my favorite lil bro.

Kiteman: Arthur... I'm your only brother.

Cluemaster: Yeah? You're still my favorite.

Kiteman: Okay. Fine. What do you want?

Cluemaster: You're good with kids right?

Kiteman: Oh do you want me to babysit little Steph? I haven't see her since she was a baby! That'll be soo much fun!

Cluemaster: Oh, no, no. She is too old for a babysitter. I kindda called 'cause I need your advice.

Kiteman: Sure. Go on.

Cluemaster: How would you stop a prank war between your teen daugther and your bussiness partner that happens to be living at your house?

Kiteman: Woah. Define prank war?

Cluemaster: Like they just being annoying with each other... like non-stop Shrek music and painting one of her walls green?

Kiteman: Are you working with a child, Artie?

Cluemaster: No. Childrem are not really good at puzzle robberies.

Kiteman: So who the hell is in a prank war with your fourteen year old daugther? Is it that Polka Dot weirdo?

Cluemaster: ... Riddler.

Kiteman: Be honest, Arthur.

Cluemaster: I am!

Kiteman: Why the fuck would he work with you? Didn't he like was brought on to one of your trials and tried to sue you for being a copycat?

Cluemaster: No idea. I don't really remember all my trials.

Kiteman: Fair. Still isn't he like an actual treat? Like Batman actually tries to be always involved in his crimes instead of just sending a Robin or a cop kindda treat? Or hangs out with Cooblepot and Harley Quinn and fucking Catwoman and even Scarecrow and Joker kindda treat?

Cluemaster: Yes, so what?

Kiteman: He is waaay above your league. How the fuck do you got him to work with you?

Cluemaster: He is working for me because he recognizes my genius.

Kiteman: *sarcasm* Yeah, sure. At least it explains why I've been hearing that your plans don't totally suck anymore.

Cluemaster: Will you help me or not?

Kiteman: Anything for little Steph. But seriusly bro, the guy is a mentally instable killer, he is real Arkham loonie, A-lister and all this shit are you sure is safe to have him living with you? Specially if he and Stephanie are fighting!? She is just a kid! What if this prank war thing escalates and next thing she is in saw type death trap or something?

Cluemaster: Well than help me not to! I can't just kick him out, do you know how much I've been proffiting later?

Kiteman: And also he is an instable killer that used to hate you and wouldn't react well to being kicked out?

Cluemaster: Yeah, this too. Look I think you're overestimating the guy. He is smart and all and he can take a punch but I could take him out real easy in a one on one. He screamed like a little girl when he found a roach in the kitchem. I think I'll be fine.

Kiteman: Sure, you do you.... Maybe.... you could just.... help them find something they have in common? A TV show they like or something. It used yo work with us. They will bond over the thing and forget they hate each other for a bit.

Cluemaster: See was it that hard to help me?

*Chuck hangs up*

[Three months later]

Cluemaster: Chuck! I need help!

Kiteman: Can you call in another time? I'm bowlling with the guys, Calendar Man and Condiment King cannot win a second time, one weird rap about their love conquering all was ENOUGHT.

Cluemaster: Is about the whole prank war between Nygma and Stephanie thing.

Kiteman: Oh. So I guess my advice didn't work.

Cluemaster: No, no, it did. It worked way to well actually.

Kiteman: *worried* That sounds bad.

Cluemaster: Yeah... it happened that the thing they had in common was that they really hate me.

[the-sixxth-sinner]

American Gothic.

buy me a coffee :)

speedpaint

[weepylucifer]

HEEHOO i got a kiss from the girl i thought would never be interested in me bc she's so popular and out of my league!!!! i fr feel like i can take over the entire world now!!!!!!!

[hyumjim]

Straight guy 1: yo where’d you get those green socks bro. It it some st pattys day shit

(Editors note: it is June)

Straight guy 2: nah this shit is curated bro

Straight guy 3: dude I been telling you I been depressed for like 4 months.

Straight guy 2: dude go to northwell health bro.

[tearlessrain]

last night my 40-something hawaiian shirt wearing grave cleric Jim

used his portable grill to create a blockade/intimidate two demon-possessed trees into not attacking him

rolled so well that the trees were frightened for the rest of the fight

was somehow allowed by the DM to use his grill as a sacred flamethrower to convert the cantrip from radiant to fire damage

took no damage the entire night because of the power of his (non-magical, completely ordinary) grill