#is it unicorn hunting if you're into it?
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
gobs-stuff · 7 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
last night i had a dream that zenos knocked on my door asking for sustenance so i made him some super noodles and he sat on the floor and ate them with my dog in his lap lol
197 notes · View notes
star--nymph · 28 days ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
this is the same image
13 notes · View notes
leojurand · 3 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
gelis my beautiful princess with a disorder
3 notes · View notes
andromeda3116 · 1 year ago
Text
also like. they found so much stuff out there that it was like "okay, either pluto isn't a planet and we have only eight* planet-planets in the solar system, or there are an uncountably huge number of planets in our solar system, which stretches out to ???? billions of miles away and perhaps even as far as a light-year"
like rewriting the definition of "planet" to exclude pluto was by far the lesser evil, and so by the updated definition of the word, pluto simply wasn't ever a planet to begin with. we just didn't know enough about the outer solar system when we discovered it to know that our definition was inadequate
*something something planet nine??? probably exists? maybe exists? maybe just weird math in the model? absolute hair-pulling nightmare to ever actually confirm or image?? may have been a rogue planet whose own star died billions of years ago and left it still hurtling along in the interstellar void? maybe small ice giant, maybe super-earth that got flung out to the fringes of the solar system by that regina george-ass planet jupiter? something possibly beautiful hiding in the math and invisible against the far stars, or a flaw in our math that makes it all just a fool's errand?
wow pluto reclassification discourse is exhausting. here I thought doing a poll that highlights some of pluto's cool lesser known dwarf planet friends would put things in a context where it can't possibly go in that direction but nope a bunch people really do just hold a hard stance against a classification system entirely out of a sense of nostalgia
14K notes · View notes
thistaleisabloodyone · 8 months ago
Text
Client: I want someone who can do therapy and prescribe medication
Me: Here's the thing - prescribing medication requires going to medical school. Doing therapy requires getting at minimum a master's degree in psychology or social work, some do go for the doctorate. Very few people are willing to do that much graduate school. If you find a psychiatrist with a therapy license, congratulations on your unicorn, but that shit's rare
0 notes
thatbanjobusiness · 1 year ago
Text
The trend of modern, flimsy record storage needs to die in a hole. It only proves that vinyl is a fad, for display and clout rather than practicality.
Extra points for the stackable, collapsible, cloth boxes that are "for vinyl." Because that's not record damage waiting to happen.
And like. It's one thing if there are good alternatives easily available on the market. But 95% of what I see is an accident waiting to happen in some form or fashion. The remaining 5% is expensive as twice butt and stores a paltry sum.
I'm going to become a box maker out of spite. I am. Going to be. A box maker. The best box maker in the damn world. Out of S P I T E.
1 note · View note
niiwa-angel · 2 months ago
Text
I can't stop thinking about how Stan Pines, a man who was kicked out of his home at a young age by his abusive father, turned his own home into such a safe space for not just the twins, but his employees and the kids friends as well.
First of all, we know Wendy frequently slacks off on her shifts, she has her roof top hideaway but she also reads magazines and flat out refuses to do certain tasks. Like when Stan asked her to put up a sign and she just said she couldn't reach it, or telling Stan "absolutely not" when he asked her and Soos to clean the bathrooms. Not only could Stan fire her, he could take away her magazines or stop her from going on the roof. We see that Stan is more observant than he lets on, you're telling me he didn't notice her dragging a cooler and a lawn chair up there? And she's either bringing her own pop and ice to fill that cooler or she's taking his.
And then there's Soos, who Stan cares about so much he got himself on the no-fly list trying to get his birthday removed from calendars, just because it made him upset. We know Soos cares about the Mystery Shack, he feels comfortable there, and he respects and adores Stan. Soos also volunteered to DJ for free at Stans summer party.
We also frequently see Soos and Wendy hanging out with the twins, so either they're slacking off during working hours or they're coming over after their shifts just to hang out. In an after credits scene, we see Mabel and Dipper turn Soos into a disco ball and they're clearly in the residential part of the shack. So either Soos buggered off during working hours to hang out with the twins or he's off shift just chilling. Either way, Stan is fine with him being in the actual house part of the shack.
Wendy also helps Mabel try and make Stan more 'desirable' to Lazy Susan, which I'll get into later, but she's not working and she also in the house part of the shack. We also see Soos and Wendy watching television with Stan, Mabel, and Dipper during the Summerween episode. They aren't on shift! They're just chilling. Wendy hits Stan in the face with a water balloon while working as a lifeguard. She's comfortable teasing him.
Soos tags along with Stan, Dipper, and Mabel when they break into the golf course after hours. He brings his shirts to cut Ws into. He doesn't have to be there, he just is. Wendy goes hunting with Mabel and her friends for unicorns. Mabel wins a pig at the fair and Stan lets her keep it, the pig needs food, who do you think is footing that bill?
Now let's talk about friends. Mabel often has Candy and Grenda over, we know she has loud sleepover with them. Do you think Mabel would bring her friends over if she wasn't comfortable in the house? Do you think Candy and Grenda would keep coming over if they didn't feel safe? Not to mention, they literally ambush Stan in the bathroom and give him a make over. Which he allows, we see him fight off the undead, punch bald eagles, and catch the twins when they fell from the nose of that monument. The man is strong, he could get three preteen girls off him if he wanted to, he was 100% playing along.
Candy and Grenda also invite themselves along on their road trip. And Stan lets them come!! Mr cheap stake agrees to feed and care for two extra kids who aren't his family.
Dipper sneaks around trying to see his tattoo, he feels safe enough with Stan to push those boundaries. He literally pulled the Memory Gun on Ford during the basement scene, if he wasn't comfortable with Stan, he wouldn't try to get that close to him. He calls Stan when he and Mabel are trapped in a haunted convenience store (he doesn't answer but still, he called him).
Now let's talk about Gideon, because I will stand by the Stan had some fondness for the kid. We know Stan has been annoyed with Gideon for a while, we know Gideon has been gunning for Stan for a while. And Stan just... Keeps letting this happen. He never involves the police, he plays along with Gideons attempts, even when Gideon is laughing uncontrollably, Stan just assured him that "you'll get me one day kid". Even when Gideon climbs in THROUGH THE WINDOW all Stan does is aggressively sweep at his feet. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Stan never gets rough with Gideon.
I'm just, I'm weeping over the knowledge that Stan Pines, who wasn't safe in his own home, made his home a safe place for kids as an adult.
648 notes · View notes
adams-angels · 10 months ago
Note
Adam sfw/nsfw hcs? I love your work! Thanks!!
💖 Please send me requests! Send me your own headcanons! I will draw! I'm obsessed rn!💖
SFW
I'm gonna start off strong by saying socks and sandals. Thinks it's great.
Will stop listening when he's losing an argument. Stutters and minces up his words if he gets flustered or too aggravated.
Lute is his best friend
Says he has tons on friend but in reality lute is his only friend
This man thinks he's higher up in the food chain than he actually is. Which then leads to weak apologies from him
Doesn't go anywhere without his mask. Really big believer in that he doesn't like showing his face because both his wife's left him
Still absolutely bitter about that btw
Has an unhealthy coping mechanism when it comes to jealously.
For example, your an angel and some newbie starts talking with you and there's nothing really in it but he opens a portal to hell when your not looking and literally kicks the guy through it before closing the portal.
Or if your a sinner and you're telling him about someone who helped you the other day he will HUNT THEM DOWN next extermination day... If he can wait that long.
Likes getting you lil gifts, key chains, magnets, pins. He'll see a little thing and think that's perfect and wont hesitate buying it for you.
He won't give it to you though. He'll leave it somewhere obvious in his apartment for you to notice and go "oh, that's cute." For him to shrug and say "it's okay. You want it?" It took a while before you actually started accepting gifts this way
In public he will get you the biggest things. Giant teddy bear. New TV. A unicorn. But that's just to show everyone that he spoils you. That no one can treat you as well as him.
Loves lazy days
Also loves it when you preen his wings
Was the kinda guy that didn't have any kind of skin care until he met you and now you're both chilling with facemasks on.
Has panic attacks when he thinks you're going to leave him
When he's not wearing his mask he will not smile. It's really difficult to get him to smile or laugh when he's not wearing a mask.
But he's got the most beautiful smile
You managed you get him to laugh because you fell. What? He's still an asshole.
You couldn't be mad at him. He sounded so happy.
Has dumb pet names for everyone he's close to. Some are cute. Some are absolutely vulger. "Sweetness." "Babe." "Cutie" "cockwarmer." "Adam's dumpster." "Precious."
He's insecure AF baby
Loves hearing you say you love him
Will only tell you he loves you in private.
Would take a very special case for him to say it in public
If you get in a serious argument with him he'll run away in anger. He'll then come back after an hour or so begging you not to leave.
Sorry I really love pathetic Adam. fight me.
Smut below the cut! Minors dni
NSFW
Ik everyone says it's great at sex but I don't think he would be 🤷🏻‍♀️ not at the beginning anyway
I think he's a selfish lover and it takes someone he really cares about to make any changes
Would absolutely finish inside you then fall asleep soz babes
His cock is good tho. Likes it's a biggen. Length and width.
It was probably made to fit perfectly so
At least that's what he says
He won't believe it if you dont orgasm the first time you have sex with him. Everyone else has! Why wouldn't you?!
Well, Adam, they lied, sweetie.
Loves getting his cock sucked.
Asks for it constantly
If he gets in an argument with you he'll probably say "I'm sorry, it's just been so long since I got head."
He loves eating you out. Watching you squirm while his tongue is inside you really gets him going.
Likes you have you sat on his face so he can hold you down
He cried the first time he had sex with you after realising he loves you
Will beg to be loved when he's close to finishing. "Tell me you love me!"
Will get embarrassed after the fact
He was adamant he didn't like you. That you were just hot. But one day found himself jerking to the thought of you and that post nut clarity hit like a freight train.
Loves being praised ofc
Breeding kink. I mean come on. He was made to populate the earth. It was literally his job.
Loves rough sex, being in charge.
Will get possessive during sex
If he's having a bad day he'll be a lot more desperate and a hell of a lot more possessive
"mine" is his favourite word.
~⁠♡✧⁠。 I really hope you enjoyed! I'm not a writer by any means but I appreciate any support I receive so thank you for reading! 。✧⁠♡~⁠
671 notes · View notes
kiame-sama · 2 months ago
Text
Humans Are Extinct (Yandere!TWST x Fem!Reader) Monster AU pt 7
Tumblr media
(Last of my predrawn beast men, so I should probably see if I can get the next chapter picture drawn despite my slow af laptop fighting me for every bit of existence)
Warnings; Yandere, platonic yandere, romantic yandere yandere behavior, yandere tempers, yandere attitudes, custody battle, poaching, territorial behavior, hoard guarding, implied violence, cooking, casual threats, untrusting yet kind-hearted reader, fem pronouned reader, Vampire Bat, Raiju, Cervitaur, Dragon, Crow, Unicorn, Cecilia, Harpy, Nemean Lion, Shinigami, Water Nymph, Gnoll, Crow,
~~~~~~~~
The loud crack of thunder drew you from your deep sleep. You had been pressing your face and entire body into the warmth beneath you and you could already feel the faint imprints along your cheek from whatever you were laying on. Thunder continued to roll outside and you slowly tried to gather your bearings.
Currently, you were in the nest Malleus had constructed in Ramshackle, though you were not the only occupant when you fell asleep or when you woke up. Lilia and Sebek were awake, their gazes turned outside and it was still rather dark out. You slowly sat up, trying to see what was so interesting outside when a green bolt of lighting struck the ground near Ramschackle. The sudden lighting forced a squeak of fright to escape you which drew the attention of Lilia and Sebek.
"I was worried he would wake you. It's alright, (Y/n), go back to sleep."
"What's going on, Lilia?"
"An unfortunate poacher decided to try their luck and Malleus was the one who took note of their presence. Don't worry, you're safe."
"Is Malleus okay?"
Lilia giggled at this, reaching out a hand to pat your head in an affectionate way. He was acting as if he didn't just say Malleus was fighting someone who was trying to hunt you down for their own nefarious gains.
"Of course he is. Malleus is a Dragon and there are very few who can actually stand up against a Dragon."
You were going to respond to Lilia when you noticed something strange. Silver didn't seem to be present and he certainly wasn't with Lilia or Sebek. Worry began to bubble up in your chest as to where the Reindeer man could possibly be before you felt the warm bed beneath you breathe.
Looking down, you were both horrifed with yourself and the situation as you realized you had been laying across Silver's Reindeer half like a bed. Your legs straddled the Reindeer's hips and you had likely been nuzzled down into the shoulder blades of the deer half. His human half was sitting up and completely still even as one of his blue and purple aurora colored eyes stared at you over his shoulder.
He was very warm and soft.
"Oh? Oh! Goodness, Silver, I'm so sorry-!"
As soon as it hit you that you must have crawled on top of the Reindeer during the night, you were quickly trying to get off of his back. Lilia actually started to laugh as you quickly dismounted from the Reindeer's back, falling back into a pile of pillows and disrupting poor Grim. The cat-like creature responded in a startled way to being jostled, his pronged tail lashing wildly as his fur stood on end in fear. You would have laughed at the startled response if you didn't feel so badly about frightening him to that point.
"Myeh?! Hey! What's the big deal? I'm sleeping-"
Another crack of thunder sent the furball diving forward to hide against your stomach, shaking in abject horror from the uncomfortably close sound. Of course Grim would be terrified of lightning, who knows how easily that 'den' of his would flood in a storm or how close he has been to being struck by a bolt. You couldn't help but pull the soft gray critter closer, petting his torn ears and back to try and soothe him even as his little wings shook.
"... You can lay on my back if that will help you sleep."
The almost tired drawl came from Silver as he slightly turned to look at you better, his Reindeer half partially rolling to one side when he yawned. Despite how inviting the offer was, you were still upset with yourself and worried you had offended the silver haired man somehow. Though you had been dubious about sharing the large nest with your- mostly uninvited- guests, you had been the one to invade his personal space and even climbed on his back while you slept.
"No! No, it's okay. I'm so sorry, Silver. I didn't mean to-"
"Why are you so upset?"
"... What?"
"I'm not angry, if that's why you're worried. Father sleeps on my back quite often during the day. I'm not angry you chose me as your sleeping companion."
"But I didn't mean to-"
"I know. You likely were drawn to how warm I typically am. It is quite drafty in this building, and it doesn't seem like there is any central heating."
You made a mental note to ask the professors about potentially acquiring a heated blanket to avoid cuddling your bed companions while you slept. It seemed like Silver was being truthful with you as Lilia crawled over to your side from where he had been gazing out the window. He was quick to flop down across the secondary shoulders of the large Reindeer and ruffled the silver fur with his Bat wings as he made himself comfortable.
"Silver's nice and soft, and his coat always keeps him warm even in winter. He really does make a good bed whenever I need a quick nap. Besides, he makes such cute little snoring sounds-"
"Father!"
"Keeheehee, just saying~ (Y/n), you should have seen him when he was just a little wobbly calf. I have some pictures back at Diasomnia I can show you. His legs were so long and he always tripped over them-"
"Father, please."
Lilia's joking helped calm your stress from the situation and also seemed to be helping Grim calm down. The blue-eyed cat-bat finally lifted his head from where he had been hiding his face against your stomach, reaching out a paw to touch the Reindeer's side. He clearly must have liked how warm and soft Silver was as he crawled out of your arms, curling up next to Lilia on Silver's back and snuggling down into the shaggy fur. You almost missed it, but as you looked up at Silver you could see a clear bright pink blush painting his fair cheeks before he looked away.
"It's over. My liege is on his way back."
Sebek said calmly, still looking outside with an almost unreadable expression. The lightning hadn't struck more than once and the thunder quickly quieted down after the first boom that woke you. It was almost like the storm was not actually a storm and you wondered just what it was that caused the lightning or why it was green.
He entered the room silently, only his bright green eyes were visible in the dark of the hallway as if he were wreathed in shadows themselves before he entered the room. Moonlight streamed across his form and he was once again the odd Dragon that had stumbled across you that first day.
"Did I wake you, child of man?"
"The thunder did."
"My apologies."
"Why are you apologizing for thunder? You didn't make it happen... Right?"
Malleus smiled as he returned to the nest, settling by your side and smiling at you patiently. It must not have been raining as he didn't seem to have a drop of water on him. He tilted his head and regarded you affectionately as if he were watching a beloved pet paw at him for attention.
"How little you know... Don't worry, there won't be anymore thunder tonight. I have the feeling that my message was recieved loud and clear."
"Did..." you found it oddly difficult to talk, "did you kill someone?"
Malleus didn't answer you, he just slowly blinked and reached out a clawed hand, patting your head gently. You found yourself wanting a bit more distance from the Dragon, wondering if you made a mistake to ask a question you truly did not want the answer to. As per usual, Lilia was quick to interrupt the tension with a loud yawn and stretch as if to imply you all should return to sleep.
"Here, (Y/n), I'll groom you to sleep again!"
"You really don't have to, Lilia."
"But I want to."
"One of these days I need to talk to everyone about personal space..."
~•§•~
The early morning dawn seemed to be a sleepy one as things slowly emerged from their warm beds and into the brisk morning. The low roll of thunder heard late in the night was certainly not lost on anyone as to the source of the sound. Even the few who rose for an early meeting seemed to be acutely aware of the Dragon's absence.
"Good morning, all. I have called this meeting at the behest of Riddle concerning the most recent events of orientation."
The Headmage stood at the head of the table, his feathers slightly ruffled from sleep as it was still quite early in the day. He usually rose with the sun and clearly had more energy than some of the Housewardens sitting at the table. Leona was barely awake as he lay with his head on the table, only the flicking tail showed the Nemean Lion was even conscious.
"As I am sure you all know by now, we have a Human living in the dorm on the main campus. Unlike most dorms, you do not need to enter a mirror to get to it and so it is easier for outsiders to access. However, there is no other place the Human can stay without putting her at risk of too curious students. Riddle, you told me you had a solution in mind for this?"
Riddle nodded, clearing his throat and straightening his bow.
"(Y/n) is Human and we all understand the gravity of the situation at hand. Humans died out from Twisted Wonderland centuries ago and now one has appeared in our school. It is our duty as Housewardens to assist in the safeguarding of this Human as her survival could mean the beginning of advancements made far beyond our lifetimes and even in our lives now. I'm sure we all understand the importance of keeping her safe. This being said, I am of the mind that it's time to switch out who is safeguarding (Y/n). This should be a shared duty of all the Housewardens, not just a privilege exclusive to Diasomnia."
Crowley nodded, leaning against his hand as he gave the proposition more thought. It seemed several of the other Housewardens were in agreement- at least, those who were physically present- at the idea of a shared responsibility.
"I, for one, think this is a wonderful idea, Riddle. Octavinelle is ready to open our doors to this poor unfortunate soul and keep her safe."
"You aren't usually one to offer help without a price, Azul. What are you looking to get out of this?"
"Nothing, of course! Just looking to help the less fortunate."
"I highly doubt that, Azul."
It was then Vil spoke up, the Harpy regarding the other Housewardens as if assessing them while he spoke. He could raise issue with letting the soft Human stay with any one of these uncouth ruffians.
"I agree that we all need to take turns guarding the Human, but how many of us can honestly be trusted with her? It is clear now that all of Twisted Wonderland will soon know she is here if they don't already. Frankly I wouldn't trust any one of you with her safety. Riddle, what makes you think you should be the one to protect her?"
"W-What?"
"It was one of your dorm's students who decided to post a picture of her. I think your dorm has done enough damage for now. I should think you would agree to revoke your own rights to guard her until you can prove you are able to keep your students in line."
"What is that supposed to mean, Vil?"
"Oh? Do I have to spell it out for you? Usually you're smarter than this, Riddle."
Vil stood, his crest raised and an almost cruel smile curling his lips as he approached the distraught Unicorn. As far as Riddle was concerned, only he knew the rules to taking proper care of a Human so only he could provide adequate accommodations for her. But the way Vil spoke made a dark kind of doubt seep into Riddle's mind, wondering if the Harpy could be right and that alone was an upsetting reality Riddle didn't really want to face at the moment.
"You can't even begin to protect that Human from students in your own dorm, how can you hope protect her from actual threats?"
Riddle wanted to retort or have the grinning Harpy's head but he couldn't find the words to respond to the proud bird. Vil only grinned wider at the silence he was met with before turning to the other Housewardens with that same energy.
"None of you can. Leona shouldn't even be considered given he's a Nemean Lion. Azul will try to make a deal with her. Kalim will lose her within minutes. Idia can't even talk to us let alone talk to and protect her. Really, the only two who could be of any use are Malleus and I. Malleus is genetically wired to be a good guardian and I certainly have enough skill to actually keep her alive."
Crowley considered Vil's words, tilting his head side to side as he thought about what the Harpy said. He was of the mind to just let the Human choose her own guard, but maybe he would have to reconsider that given how upset the Housewardens were getting over her and it had only been two days. There was truth to the unusual charm of the extinct species and the hold they clearly had over others even in such a short time.
"I think you all are ignoring the bigger truth and being selfish as hell."
The growl came from the golden lion that now lifted his head from the table he had been resting it on. His green eyes glinted in the morning light and the faint sunrays seemed to shine off of his golden coat. Even his wild tresses held a faint glimmer that made the prince look every bit as regal as his lineage suggested.
"She isn't from here. She has a home she likely wants to go back to. We can't talk like we're keeping her when we should find a way to send that Mousey home."
"I would agree with you, Leona," Azul started, his eyes glinting with humor at the knowledge he was about to reveal, "but there are a few problems with that notion. Jade and I spoke with her yesterday and she claims she came from somewhere filled with Humans. There is nowhere like that left in Twisted Wonderland. I would wager she is from another reality entirely, one where only Humans thrive. One that we can't get to despite many trying in the past to prove we are not alone. I don't know how she got here, but she is stuck here now. Besides, do you really want to be the one to tell Malleus we are taking his Human away? I get you don't pay attention in classes, but I certainly do and I have heard the many tales of Dragons going as far as to kidnap Humans they are fond of."
Leona growled a low warning to the Cecilia to watch his words lest he be the recieving party of the Lion's ire. Though he was a lazy Lion and didn't seem to be bothered with much, he was still a force to be reckoned with when he actually decided to fight.
"Why the hell should I care why that damn lizzard wants the Human?"
"Well, Dragons and other Fae did take the extinction of Humans the hardest and mourn the longest, I would wager the older ones are still in mourning. Next to them, the Merfolk were the next most heartbroken by the ending of such a fascinating species. I wouldn't expect you to understand- being a Nemean Lion and all- but-"
"Keep talking, Cephalo-punk and I'll give you something to mourn over."
Azul closed his mouth quickly, knowing he wouldn't actually stand a chance if pitted against the weapon-immune golden Lion. For all his abilities, so many seemed to pale in comparison to the sheer strength Leona contained in his form alone. Out of the water, a Lion would always win in a direct fight against an octopus, the same was true for Nemean Lions and Cecilia.
"I can protect her better than most of you but none of you want to admit that. You all want to pretend I'll gobble that little Mousey up and refuse to even let me stand my own ground. What? Too afraid she'll like me more than you lot?"
This got Vil's feathers to ruffle as the Harpy seemed ready to fight the grinning Lion that so clearly challenged those at the table. Luckily for everyone else, the floating tablet finally decided to interrupt the conversation.
"Fine, we all gotta do it. I vote everyone's dorm gets put in a raffle and the next Housewarden to guard her is chosen that way."
"This is unlike you, Idia. You don't even show up in person to most classes."
"Humans were the best inventors we had before they died out. The last human lived on the Isle of Woe and made enough inventions to keep the Shroud family rich for centuries. Why wouldn't I want the best story telling species and most inventive species to give me new ideas? Probably why you want her too, Azul."
"Well, I certainly understand a profitable business venture when one is presented to me..."
"Exactly my point."
Crowley nodded, clapping his hands together and drawing the attention of those at the table. He heard exactly what he wanted to hear and he was willing to give every Housewarden a fair chance, even Leona.
"I believe a raffle is a fantastic idea, Mr. Shroud! And because I am just so kind to all, every Housewarden will be given a fair shot."
"Headmage, I beg you to reconsider-"
"Let's start this raffle!"
Riddle tried to start but the Crow had made up his mind and there was no changing it. As he used magic to summon his usual way of raffling students, he glanced around the room for a moment. Odd, he only counted six but there should be seven?
"... Did no one remember to invite Mr. Draconia to today's meeting?"
~•§•~
You stood in the kitchen of Ramschackle dorms, tiredly cooking up enough breakfast to feed your uninvited guests, Cater, yourself, and Grim. Despite your annoyance at being the only one to cook- let alone being the only one who really knew how- you dutifully continued your task. According to Silver, Lilia actually cooked often but was so abysmally bad at it they all thought cooking was a useless skill. It wasn't until you cooked for them that they even realized cooking food could actually make it taste better and not worse.
"If you all insist on making me cook for you, I'm going to insist you all provide the ingredients. The kitchen may be well stocked now, but if I have to keep feeding extra mouths every day the pantry is going to eventually run out."
You idly listened to the sizzle as you half-jokingly scolded the group that milled about your kitchen and sniffed in your direction occasionally. They were eager to get some breakfast from you and had all woken up before you did in anticipation for the warm meal you would no doubt create. Apparently you had once again moved to cuddle Silver's warm body in your sleep and the Reindeer refused to let Grim or even Lilia wake you before the sun was mostly up. The five others in the shared nest were all in agreement to let you wake on your own time, but your actual invited guest was quick to herald in the morning and woke you. It seemed like Malleus and Sebek were ready to attack the redhead but quickly calmed when you pulled yourself out of the nest to start cooking.
Cater had been an affectionate nuisance and asked you nonstop questions about what you were doing and how Humans cooked things. It became very clear to you- based on his questions and curiosity- that junkfood really didn't exist in Twisted Wonderland. Despite how you wanted to cry upon hearing this and mourn the loss of your comfort foods, you realized that you may be able to make your own junkfoods. You would certainly need help acquiring things, but there had to be some kind of inventive monster on this campus that could help you.
"I agree! These guys can bring the food and you can cook it! Why let them get all this free stuff if they don't help with getting or making it?"
"I can help cook-"
You were quick to smack the reaching hand with your wooden spoon, startling Lilia as his wings fluffed out in surprise.
"You," you started with a near threatening tone, "will keep your hands off of the things in my kitchen. Silver already told me how your cooking is and I will not allow you to scorch my meals."
"I think I'm a pretty good cook-"
"The answer is 'no'. You don't get to cook in my kitchen. I agree with Grim that it would be a welcome change to have you all bring me the foods you want and maybe even more spices than the few I have here, but you aren't cooking. If you really want to help me right now, you can start washing dishes."
Silver sent a silent thanks your way for sparing him and the others from another evening spent eating Lilia's cooking. The Bat Fae had learned to love cooking from the few Humans he had the pleasure of meeting, but he was so abysmally bad at it that his 'meals' could barely be considered food. Malleus and Sebek were also relieved to see you quickly shut down any idea of letting Lilia cook and they all breathed a sigh of relief.
"I can do dishes! Riddle and Trey make me do them all the time. Don't know why Trey never lets me help him bake things though."
Cater was quick to roll up his sleeves, starting on the pile of dishes that had already begun to accumulate in the large sink. Maybe it wouldn't be all that bad if you could get your freeloaders to help clean or gather ingredients instead of doing it all yourself. Despite calling them freeloaders, you were appreciative of at least Malleus and Lilia being fairly adept guards for your safety. It did make you wonder what Malleus had done last night, but you also felt in your heart of hearts that you didn't really want to know if the lovely Dragon had killed someone on your behalf.
"Hey," there was loud scratching at that side door again and you already knew who it was, "the door's locked again. Please, have mercy, I'm just a starving Gnoll."
"... I really shouldn't have fed him. He's gonna come back every day and night for more."
You had the foresight to add extra to what you were making, anticipating the unusual pull your cooking seemed to have on the local monster population. Part of you wanted to keep feeding Ruggie as the gaunt appearance of the ever hungry Gnoll pulled at your heartstrings. His clear hunger and almost non-existent stomach told you just how little the Hyena man actually ate and it genuinely saddened you to know he was likely actually starving.
"Lilia, can you get the door?"
"On it~"
Ruggie was quick to scamper up to your side and sniff loudly at the food you were cooking. His tail wagged at almost impossible speeds as his stomach howled to be satiated, his Hyena head bobbing up and down when he began to cackle in excitement. Despite the warnings you had received about Gnolls, Ruggie didn't act like a slavering beast that sought Human flesh, instead he seemed much like someone who grew up never knowing when he could eat again or if he would be safe in the night. He reminded you so much of that first good look you got at Grim, covered in all the scars that riddled his little body and marred his cute appearance with tales of agony sustained. Both of them made you want to protect them however you could.
As you moved over to another pan which you had been using to cook up some scrambled eggs, you couldn't help but chuckle when Ruggie continued to vocalize his excitement. The cackling and whooping from the Hyena was almost a comforting song in the background of your morning. It was only when he reached a grizzled paw towards the pans that you barked out a similar whoop at him. Your sound startled the Gnoll as his gaze snapped to you in surprise, his nose working overtime as if to find the fellow Gnoll that whooped in response to his sounds.
"Woah! You didn't say you knew how to speak Gnoll!"
"I don't."
"What was that then?"
"Where I'm from, Humans are typically quite good at vocal mimicry because it is how most of our infants learn to speak. You were whooping, so I whooped back."
Ruggie cocked his head to the side curiously, you could almost see the gears in his head turning and grinding as he took in your words. His short tail had been still as he lost himself in thought before it resumed the rapid wagging pace as his brain caught back up to the rest of him.
"Cool! What other sounds can you make?"
The rest of your time cooking was spent making various noises- from growls, to cackles, even to various barking- to entertain the Gnoll and distract him from the food. Once it was ready, you had Sebek get enough plates for the eight of you and set to divvying up the meals. Naturally, Ruggie and Grim were the first to happily dig in to their breakfasts.
Things were peaceful and somewhat quiet, but as it usually was in this strange new world, things were not going to stay quiet for long.
"(Y/n)," a familiar voice called from the direction of the door to your dorms, recognizing the voice of the Headmage Crow, "I have news and a gift for you, my little chick! Where are you?"
"We're in the kitchen!"
The Headmage was surprised to see the odd group you had gathered in your kitchen, looking over the various students in surprise.
"Mr. Diamond? What are you doing here?"
"I told Cater he could stay here for the night since he was kicked out of his dorm. Sure, what he did was stupid and I am still mad about it, but no one should have to spend a night in those woods. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something terrible happened to him, especially in the name of protecting me."
"It's beautiful," the Crow sniffed as if he were about to cry, "such a heartwarming display of genuine kindness! I would expect nothing less from the beautiful heart of a Human! I've missed you wonderfully naïve and forgiving little creatures so much! Nothing quite like a Human's forgiveness to soothe the turbulent soul!"
You were stunned when the Crow actually burst into tears, covering his face with his hands and openly weeping from your- in your mind- simple act of kindness. It seemed the others weren't prepared for this behavior either as they all stared at the fully grown Crow Fae man weeping and bawling like an infant. He was quick to compose himself despite the sudden onslaught of tears as he pulled you into a hug you were too surprised to return, wondering what his problem was that he was so ready to emotionally break down in front of you.
"My beautiful little chick is the kindest soul to ever live and grace these halls with such a warm heart!"
"Um..."
"Here," he interrupted your confusion and pulled back to shove a hastily wrapped package into your hands, "A gift from your professors! It's a cellular device to let you communicate with us when you need. Sam assures me Idia has already programed our numbers into it and it is ready to be used whenever you wish."
"Thanks? Why-"
"Also! The other Housewardens and I have come to an agreement concerning your continued need for guards due to Mr. Diamond's actions. All Housewardens and their accompanying Vice-Housewardens will contribute to protecting this dorm and will switch out every week based on a raffle. This week is Diasomnia's turn, next week is Ignihyde's turn. You haven't met Idia or Ortho yet, but they'll be by to introduce themselves soon. Well, Ortho probably will be, Idia is excited to meet you but he isn't one to socialize much..."
A deep snarl came from where Malleus stood, casually setting his plate down to face the Crow directly and continue the deep percussive noise of his displeasure. It was more than obvious to everyone that the Dragon was not content with the idea of giving you up even for others to guard.
"You dare divvy up my hoard like I should have no say in what happens to her? My Human is not a pet to trade with anyone and everyone who takes interest."
"I'm not saying that, Malleus, what I am saying is her protection should be taken seriously by all students at Night Raven College and the best way to show others she is worth defending is to allow them time to form their own bonds with her by protecting her. Besides, Diasomnia needs their Housewarden and Vice-Housewarden. It isn't fair to those students to be left without yourself and Mr. Vanrouge permanently."
Malleus just growled in response, knowing Crowley was right but still furious he was not part of the decision making process.
"And Kingscholar? What of his dorm?"
"Mr. Kingscholar is a Housewarden and has made a convincing argument for allowing himself to be one of (Y/n)'s guards. As Savanaclaw has no Vice-Housewarden, it will soley fall on his shoulders when his name is drawn."
Ruggie then spoke up, trying to give yourself and Malleus a wide berth to not upset the Dragon further. Though the Gnoll was quick to fold to more powerful mages, he was excited to hear Leona would be given a chance and equal respect as a Housewarden.
"If Leona actually asked to help, no way he will let anyone tell him no. He doesn't like doing extra work, so the fact he volunteered for extra work shows he actually means to do it!"
"Exactly my thinking! Why deny such a strong student a chance to prove himself? Who knows, perhaps his time with (Y/n) will prove Nemean Lions do not deserve the negative view society has of them."
You were irritated that none of these men bothered to ask you how you feel about the situation, but if the nighttime interruptions were anything to go off of, you were still in danger. Though the prospect of being bounced around between several monster men didn't excite you, there was obviously need for their protective behavior.
"Now, I hope you all enjoy your classes today. I hear there may even be an unbirthday party happening in Heartslabuyl that you may wish to attend. Have a pleasant morning, my little chick."
339 notes · View notes
larluce · 4 months ago
Text
Arthur and Merlin travel back in time without knowing the other is from the future too AU
Tagging @aceauthorcatqueen , @fallenxjas , @smileytrinity ,@lucifertookmyshoe , @an-entity-i-think , @thecornerofbelu , @griffonskies , @odinjm , @cinnabon-sweetroll-tiramisu , @thelady-mary , @bennedict , @nightninjaboy , @st8-of-grace , @star-rie , @error-username-not-available , @dogberryrowan , @jamieweasley13 , @tansyuduri , @tercais , @robynnemrys , @evadne01 , @serasvictoria02 , @hairdryerducks , @hopeaha , @curiously-lazy , @ harriettesthings , @andrealux16 , @wacko-weirdo , @greatdonutenemy , @yougottobekittenme , @anxiousosaurus , @kinkforwings , @someweirdassnamee , @impracticalantlers , @miyriu , @hobipabo
LINKS TO THE OTHER PARTS OF THIS AU HERE: PART 1 , PART 2 , PART 3 , PART 4 , PART 5 , PART 6 , PART 7 , PART 8 , PART 9 , PART 10 , PART 11 , PART 12 , PART 13 , PART 14 , PART 15 , PART 16 , PART 17 , PART 18 , PART 19 , PART 20 , PART 21 , PART 22 , PART 23 , PART 24 , PART 25 You're here , PART 26
[Welcome to: ✨breaking the fourth wall space✨
Knight 2 and 3: (marching around with signs that say "NO TO NAMELESS CHARACTERS" and "WE DESERVE NAMES")
Me: What on earth are you doing?
Knight 2: We are going on a strike! 😠
Knight 3: Yeah! We refuse to act until we are given names. 😠
Me: You can't do that! You are my characters!
Knight 2: Then why won't you give us a name!
Me: Cause you are also extras.
Knight 2 and 3: (Gasp and bring a hand to their chest, very offended)
Knight 3: That hurt ☹️
Knight 2: But Innprudence has a name!
Me: Yes, but it's basically a gag and he hates it.
Sir Innprudence: (In a corner, lying on the floor and looking at the sky) Is my existence a joke?
Knight 2: Well, you can start searching for a Knight 4, 5 or 6 if you want, cause we are not going to be part of this play until we are given an identity. I think it's the least we deserve.
Me: (sighs) Fine. You (points at Knight 2) will be Sir Ewan and you (point ar Knight 3) will be Sir Owain.
Sir Ewan: We have names! 😃
Sir Owain: Yay! 😄
Sir Innprudence: I hate you 😒
End of ✨Breaking the fourth wall space✨]
In "The Labyrinth of Gedref"
Arthur, Merlin and some knights hiding behind bushes while hunting.
Arthur: (calls quietly) Merlin (urges to come closer with a head gesture)
Merlin: (Comes closer and whispers) What is it?
Arthur: I don't know. We'll surround it.
Merlin: (feels the presence of the unicorn, thinking) Oh, no! (says) Got it. I'll go in there to flush it out. (makes a gesture to go)
Arthur: (stops him by the arm) Are you insane?! we don't know what it is. It could be dangerous!
Merlin: (smirks) Good think you have my back then. (frees from his grasp)
Arthur: (tries to grip his arm him again, but Merlin moves before he can and goes in there) Damn you, Merlin.
Merlin runs as fast as he can until he finds the unicorn. It is as majestic as he remembers, but there's no time the admire the creature.
Merlin: (urges) Go! They're going to kill you! Please, go!
Unicorn: (moves closer to Merlin and neighs happily, so Merlin pats him)
Merlin: ... Okay, this is cute, but there's no time! You have to go!
Arthur: (in the distance, puts down his crossbow, whispers to himself, surprised) The unicorn...
Merlin: (desperate, puts himself infront of the animal) Don't shoot!
Sir Innprudence: What the hell is he doing?
Arthur: (seeing the knights still have their crossbows pointing at the unicorn, but more importantly, pointing at Merlin) Put down your crossbows.
Sir Ewan: But sire-
Arthur: (sternly) I said put them down!
Knights: (put down their crossbows)
Arthur: (goes to Merlin) Merlin-
Merlin: (hugging the unicorn by the neck, closely) You can't kill it, Arthur! (eyes starts shining with unshed tears) You can't! Please!
Arthur: Alright, alright, I won't! We won't.
Sir Ewan: (comes closer) Incredible!
Sir Innprudence: (comes closer too) I thought they were extinct!
Merlin: They almost are. There's very few of them. (caresses the unicorn's head fondly) Unicorns are rare and mystical creatures.
Sir Ewan: Of magic. Which means it's dangerous.
Merlin: Only if you harm it. There is a legend that says that bad fortune will come to anyone that slays one.
Sir Innprudence: Yeah, I heard of that legend too.
Sir Ewan: So we are not hunting it because of some legend?
Arthur: Legend or not I'm not going to risk it. With creatures of magic you can never be sure.
Merlin: (gives Arthur a thankful smile)
Sir Ewan: We don't have to kill it. We can capture it and bring it alive for the King-
Merlin: (shouts) NO! 😡
Arthur: We are not going to do any of that, Sir Ewan.
Sir Innprudence: So... we are just going to... let it go?
Sir Ewan: Oh, come on! It's a fucking unicorn! Of course we are not just going to-
Arthur: Yes, we'll let it go.
Sir Ewan: But-
Arthur: It's an order! And no word of this to my father. Understood?
Knights: Yes, sire.
Unicorn: (smells Merlin and moves so Merlin also pats its back)
Merlin: (giggles) I think he likes me. (continues to pat the unicorn fondly)
Arthur: (watches Merlin in awe)
Sir Innprudence: (lets a burst of laughter)
Arthur: (turns to Sir Innprudence, serious) What's so funny, Sir Innprudence?
Sir Innprudence: (composes himself quickly) Oh, nothing, Sire. I just...
Arthur: You just what?
Sir Innprudence: I just find it quite curious that the unicorn it's so attached to your servant, sire.
Arthur: And why is that? (thinking, worried) Does he suspect Merlin has magic?
Sir Innprudence: Well, when I was a kid I used to read a lot of bestiaries and, from what I remember, unicorns feel atractted to the smell of... virgin maidens, sire.
Arthur: ...
Sir Ewan: ...
Merlin: (turns to them, confused) Why are you looking at me like that? 🤨
Arthur and Knights: (burst out laughing)
Merlin: ... Are you alright?
Sir Innprudence: (stops laughing) Wait... does this mean they haven't done it yet? 😨
Sir Ewan: (hits him) Don't be disrespectful! 😠
Sir Innprudence: Ow! I'm just saying! If he is not giving the Prince THAT, then what is he-OW!
Merlin: (to Arthur) What are they talking about?
Arthur: (puts an arm around Merlin, smiling to ear to ear) Just of how virtuous you are. (To the knights) I'm no ignorant of the rumors regarding my manservant and I hope this is enough prove to you that Merlin is nothing of what they are saying. He's an honorable man and I expect you to always remember that.
Knights: (nod) Yes, Sire.
So they let the unicorn go and come back to the castle. Merlin is so relieved a catastrophe was avoided than he couldn't see the new one coming.
At the horse field. Merlin's mare is chasing around a nobel that tried to ride him.
Nobel: (running) Help! Somebody help! 😭
Princess: (neighs furiously while going after him)😤
Stable boy 1: We warned him.
Stable boy 2: Yep.
Stable boy 1: Do we feel bad for him?
Stable boy 2: Nah, he was an ass.
Stable boy 1: True. Did you send for Merlin?
Stable boy 2: Yeah, he should be here in a sec.
Merlin: (arrives running to his mare) Princess! (puts himself between the nobel and his mare) Princess Eboni Lily Plum Pendragon, that's enough! 😡
Princess: (calms down and lowers her head)
Nobel: (stands up and brushes the dirt from his clothes) Pendragon? Is this a horse of the royal family? I wouldn't have tried to ride it if I knew.
Merlin: (frowns at him while patting Princess' head) No, but she's mine.
Nobel: (looks Merlin up and down) Yours?
Merlin: Yeah, an the stable boys have especific instructions to not let anybody but me ride her. Let me guess, you didn't give a damn, did you? You just wanted to do as you pleased.
Nobel: Who do you think you are to speak to me like that?! 😠
Merlin: The Prince's manservant, you dickhead.
Nobel: (Open his eyes wide) The Prince's manservant?
Merlin: I can call The Prince if you don't believe-
Nobel: Oh, you are the maidman!
Merlin: ... No? 🤨 I'm his manservant. What does maidman even mean?
Nobel: (realises his slip up) Oh, forgive me. Uh... I won't touch your horse again.
Princess: (neighs at him) 😡
Nobel: (gives a very masculine scream and runs away)
Merlin: (Turns to the stable boys) Why did he...
Stable boys: (look away, very nervous)
Merlin: You know what he meant 😑.
Stable boy 1: Uhm...
Merlin: Spill it out. Now.
Stable boy 2: Well, as you know, maid can be short for housemaid or maidservant.
Stable boy 1: However, it's also the way some nobels refer to women that... warm their beds at night.
Stable boy 2: But you are a man, so...they call you maidman.
Merlin: ...You must be joking.
Stable boy 2: No. And that's the most polite nickname you have.
Stable boy 1: Yeah, you don't want to know the others.
Merlin: But that's absurd! I don't have that kind of relationship with Arthur!
Stable boy 2: We know, of course. We do not distrust your word.
Stable boy 1: Or the one of the unicorn.
Merlin: (incipient fear) What unicorn?
Stable boy 2: The unicorn that appeared before you.
Merlin: (now very scared) How do you know that?! 😨
Stable boy 1: Everyone knows, they're telling it everywhere.
Merlin: WHAT?! 😱
Stable boy 2: Yeah, there's even a song about it.
Stable boys: (start dancing and singing in harmony)
🎶Ooooh!
In the woods a unicorn
Wandered around with his long horn
So lonely and without a friend
Until one day he sense a smell
It was the most exquisite smell
Of a beautiful young man
So pure in body and in heart
It was the Prince's manservant.
(Chorus)
The Unicorn Catcher
No one is more innocent than
The Unicorn Catcher
No beauty is more deadly than of
The unicorn catcher🎶
Merlin: Okay, I take it back. Now you must joking.
Stable boy 1: Wait, there's more! 😃
Stable boys: (singing and dancing)
🎶Marveled at the majestic creature
The man approached and he figured
That he could stroke his back
Afraid of scaring it, he does
The animal neighed with pleasure
Put his head closer without measure
Enchanted by the pure scent
He let him ride him on his back.
(Chorus)
The Unicorn Catcher
No one is more innocent than
The Unicorn Catcher
No beauty is more deadly than of
The unicorn catcher.🎶
Merlin: That never happened. 😒
Stable boy 2: Last stanza! 😄
Stable boys: (singing and dancing)
🎶The magical being was so attached
He follow his human friend in glee
The man told him, brokenhearted
Your home is in nature, not with me
They said goodbye, the servant went
Back to the castle, back to his prince.
The unicorn cried and he knew.
He'll never sense that smell again.🎶
Stable boy 1: (giving himself air with his hand,unshed tears in his eyes) Gods, I love the end. It always makes me emotional. 🤧
Satble boy 2: (puts an arm around Merlin) Don't worry, Merlin. While there are people who try to tarnish your name calling you maidman, there are very others that defend The Unicorn Catcher's honor til the end.
Stable boys: (throwing a fist in the air and shouting) Long live The Unicorn Catcher!
Merlin: ...
Stable boy 1: Merlin?
Stable boy 2: Unicorn Catcher?
Merlin: (composes himself and smiles at them) If you excuse me, I must go to the Prince inmediatly. (leaves at a furious pace)
Arthur trainning the knights in the Training field.
Arthur: Enough! What kind of sluggish reactions are that? Is this how you pretend to protect your kingdom? Your King and Prince? 😡
Sir Owain: Sire-
Arthur: Did I tell you you could talk? Silence!
Knights: (cower in place)
Arthur: You tend to forget who has the authority here. No one, listen to me, no one but the King is above me! And you dare to raise your voice at me? No body can disrespect the Prince!
Merlin: (arrives, yelling furious) Arthur! 😡
Arthur: What?! 😡 (turns and his face changes) Oh, Merlin. What is it?
Merlin: We need to talk.
Arthur: Alright. Once I finish-
Merlin: Now, Arthur. It's important.
Arthur: (pointing to the knights) Merlin, I'm in the middle of training. Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait-
Merlin: NO! It cannot wait! 😡 What part of "it's important" you do not understand?! You think I would interrupt your training just because? Do you ever listen to anything I say?!
Arthur: (in shock) Uh... (Thinking) What's gotten into him?
Merlin: No, of course not. I'm just a servant after all. Why would my problems ever be important to you? Is not like you are the one who is a joke in the mouth of all Camelot!
Knights: (watching interested and amused the scene, murmuring between them)
Arthur: Alright, we'll talk. (makes a move to go to his knights)
Merlin: (stops Arthur by the arm) Where do you think you are going?! 😡
Arthur: I was just going to dismiss the knights-
Merlin: You dare to ignore me when this is all your fault?! Am I a joke to you too?! 😡
Arthur: (tries to calm him) Okay, I can see That you are upset-
Merlin: I AM NOT UPSET! 😤
Arthur: (sweats)
Sir Innprudence: (to Sir Owain, mockingly) Nobody can disrespect The Prince? 😏
Sir Owain: Shut up.
Merlin: (sighs) Never mind. Go back to your stupid training. (Makes a move to leave)
Arthur: No, no, no, wait! (Stops him by the arm) Look, I'm here, not moving. You have my full attention. Now tell me what is the problem and why do you think is my fault.
Merlin: Because it is! Thanks to you now everybody knows me as "The Maidman" and "The Unicorn Catcher"!
Arthur: ...
Arthur: (burst out laughing) Maidman? Unicorn Catcher?
Merlin: It's not funny! 😠
Arthur: (stops laughing) No, no. Of course is not. (Coughs) I mean, you do have some maid chores, but-
Merlin: It has nothing to do with that. "Maidman" is a very polite way to say I serve you in bed at nights and not to read you poetry precisly.
Arthur: Oh... (Turns to his knights) 😑
Knights: (scared, at the same time) We never called him that! I swear! 😰
Sir Innprudence: Yeah, it's mostly the visiting nobles who do that.
Merlin: Oh, but you do call me "Unicorn Catcher", don't you?
Arthur: Yeah, about that. Why "Unicorn Catcher"?
Merlin: (turns a bit red) Uhm... Well somehow they found out about the unicorn.
Arthur: I figured. But we didn't hunt or capture the unicorn, so where is the word "Catcher" coming from?
Merlin: It's a long story.
Sir Innprudence: It's not a story, it's a song! 😃
Knights: (start singing) 🎶 Oooh!-
Merlin: You keep up with that and I'll cut off your tongues! 😠
Knights: 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
Arthur: They did a song?
Merlin: That's not important. What's important is how did everyone find out!
Arthur: Well, the only ones that were there were you, me and...
Sir Innprudence and Sir Ewan: (looking very guilty)
Arthur: (notices) Something you want to confess? 😑
Sir Ewan: We didn't meant to, Sire.
Sir Innprudence: But we got drunk at a tavern and there were people talking very ill of your manservant.
Sir Ewan: Calling him things worse than "Maidman".
Sir Innprudence: So we defended your manservant's honor, but in the heat of the argument we might have let what happened with the unicorn slip.
Sir Ewan: And some minstrel heard it and decided to make a song inspired on the event.
Sir Innprudence: And since the song became so popular, every tavern began to play it, so...
Arthur: Now everyone knows about the unicorn. (Sighs) I still don't get the "Catcher" part though.
Merlin: It's not important.
Sir Innprudence: It's because he attracted the unicorn with his virgin smell, Sire.
Merlin: Innprudence! 😠
Arthur: (laughs)
Merlin: Stop laughing! This is serious! What if your father finds out? He probably already knows!
Arthur: I don't think my father cares about your chastity, Merlin.
Merlin: Not that part, you idiot! 😡 The unicorn part! He'll know I encountered a magical creature in our last hunt and that you let it escape!
Arthur: He won't believe you encountered a unicorn just because there's a song about it. Especially a tavern minstrel song. (To the knights, warnly) Because that's what it is. Right? Just a song. None of that happened.
Knights: Of course not, Sire.
Arthur: The training's canceled. You're dismissed.
Knights: (start leaving)
Arthur: Except Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence.
Sir Ewan And Sir Innprudence: (stay while the others leave, nervous)
Arthur: For divulging confidential information, I send you to the dungeons indefinitily.
Sir Ewan And Sir Innprudence: (hung their head with shame) Yes, Sire.
Silence.
Arthur: So? What are you waiting for?
Sir Innprudence: (confused) Uh... We are waiting for you to call the guards, Sire.
Arthur: Don't you have legs?
Sir Ewan: Yes?
Arthur: Then go to the dungeons yourselfs. Just tell the jailer I sent you. And go straight ahead. If you dare to stray from the path or stretch the time I will know.
Sir Ewan: But Sire, that's quite...
Sir Innprudence: Embarrasing.
Arthur: That's part of the punishment. Now go.
Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence: Yes, Sire 😞😞 (leave)
Arthur: (to Merlin) There, I solved it. 😊
Merlin: Solved what?
Arthur: I arrested the ones responsable for your predicament.
Merlin: And how arresting Sir Ewan and Sir Innprudence is going to stop people from believing I actually encountered a unicorn? In fact, with what you've done, you are just confirming that it happened! 😠
Arthur: ...
Arthur: Alright, I guess I can order for the song to be banned inmediatly.
Merlin: No! That's just going to make things worst.
Arthur: Then what do you want me to do?
Merlin: (lifting his arms, exasperated) Nothing, Arthur! 😡 You can't do nothing! (Leaves)
Arthur: (sighs) Well, at least he still calls me Arthur. (to a servant passing nearby) Hey! Do you know where I can hear "The Unicorn Catcher" song?
Time skip. In Gaius Tower. Merlin benting with Gaius.
Merlin: They even made a song. A song! Can you believe it? If I'm not a whore, then I'm a prude. Everyone especulates about my sex life like they don't have one theirselfs. And each rumor is always related to my relationship with Arthur. And he doesn't help! With his jokes about me being a girl and making everyone believe we actually have something. This is all Arthur's fault!
Gaius: I understand why you are so angry, my boy, but... Is it really all just Arthur's fault?
Merlin: ... What?
Gaius: I know you and Arthur are close and there's confidence between you two. But Arthur is still a Prince and sometimes you forget that. Yes, Arthur is at fault for favoring you too much, but that Arthur lets you push the limits doesn't mean you shouldn't have them.
Merlin: Arthur does not favor me.
Gaius: Yes he does, and you also abuse of that favor. Maybe not consciously, but you do. You proclaim you are nothing but his servant, but then you do things like complain to him in public. Infront of his Knights! You can't do things like that and expect people to believe there's nothing of other nature going on between you.
Merlin: So it's my fault then.
Gaius: I didn't say that.
Merlin: No, you're just saying people is right to think that way about me! That I given them very reason to!
Gaius: Why are so defensive, Merlin? You have never let what people say about you get to you before. From what Hunith told me, you've been called worst things back in Ealdor and you've never bother. Yet this particular comments about you and Arthur angers you to guts. Why?
Merlin: Because they talk without knowing! At least people in Ealdor weren't telling lies. I'm indeed a bastard. My mother had me out of marriage, that's true. They called freak. I could do magic since the day I was born and that's an anomaly in itself so that's true in a way too. Here my nicknames are based on falsehoods!
Gaius: So it's not that you hate what they're saying. You hate that what they are saying are lies
Merlin: Exactly!
Gaius: And why is that?
Merlin: What do you mean? Isn't that reason enough.
Gaius: Merlin, you don't hate rumors because they are lies. You hate them because they are not true.
Merlin: (backsaway due to the low blow) I... I don't know what you mean.
Gaius: Merlin-
Merlin: I have to go. "The Unicorn Catcher" has chores to do. (leaves)
Gaius: (sighs, to himself) He surely inherited your temper, Balinor.
Guard: (enters)
Gaius: Oh, how can I help you?
Guard: The King requests your presence at the throne room immediately.
...
CHAN CHAN CHAN! What do you think Uther wants to talk Gaius about?
And, yes, Merlin is being too insolent, but lets remember series 5 Merlin was way more insolent than series 1 Merlin and since this Arthur is more permisive with him he's taking more liberties than before and that might get him in trouble (spoiler?)
Did you like the unicorn catcher song? I'm sorry if it was to long, but I'm a theater kid I couldn't help myself.
Tell me in the comments ;)
230 notes · View notes
nias-nook · 3 months ago
Text
Bill Cipher and The Unicorn in Captivity
Soooo, I haven't been looking at Bill related posts much since the book dropped as I have mixed feelings on what TBOB and the subsequent site have revealed about him, his motives, his backstory etc., but (and maybe someone beat me to this) one thing I haven't seen anyone talk about yet is this,
Tumblr media
So maybe I'm stating the obvious here, but this is The Unicorn Rests in a Garden, also known as The Unicorn in Captivity. This piece was a part of The Unicorn Tapestries. Its origins are shrouded in mystery and super interesting but I'm not really gonna touch on that here.
Now there is something to be said about how this one piece, and the rest of the tapestries tie to Bill. I'll briefly go over what the tapestry meant when it was made then dive into what contemporary interpretations of the piece say about Bill and his fundamental inability to redeem himself.
Also just want to establish before we get into this that I am...Not a scholar when it comes to this stuff. I just happened to recognise this tapestry and its symbolism when it dropped on the website and had to put my thoughts somewhere. I might add more later if I've forgotten anything, which I probably have.
Tumblr media
Given this was a piece made in Europe in the Middle Ages, it's perhaps unsurprising that a lot of interpretations of it are biblical, but we can (mostly) safely assume Hirsch isn't going for a Christ allegory here. Then again, maybe he's going for nothing and all of this is pointless.
What is a little interesting in the wake of TBOB is its ties to marriage.
These tapestries are heavily theorised to have been made to celebrate a wedding, and their comparisons of love and marriage to a hunt that inevitably leads to the imprisonment and taming of your lover. Of course, Bill quite literally suggests this method in the book with The Love Cage that he uses in Weirdmageddon, but there's a million 'Billford is canon' posts (though I think that's reductive at BEST) out there so let's table that as it's pretty self-explanatory. Bill and Ford have been hunting each other for decades and Bill imprisons him in a so-called 'Love Cage' to try and convince Ford to be his 'partner' (be it platonic or romantic). This is what a victory in a relationship is to him.
Tumblr media
What I'd like to focus on is the modern interpretation of The Unicorn in Captivity as a self-imposed prison.
"Look at that little unicorn! The beatific smile. He's happy now. He gets to live in a beautiful garden."
"Yeah, in a cage."
"A protective barrier. No one's hunting him anymore. Nor can he hurt anyone with that horn of his."
This summary of the piece is taken from the aptly titled Unicorn in Captivity from another animated series, The Venture Bros. (which, by the way, if you're looking for another show that's a whimsical and fun riff on 80s pop culture with a big mystery element, highly recommend), but this of course isn't the first piece of media to portray it this way. the most notable being The Unicorn in Captivity poem by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.
The unicorn is, on the surface, a prisoner. The Theraprism that Bill is now trapped in is a place he longs to escape, but that's the thing, isn't it?
He could escape any time he wanted to.
Bill, like the unicorn, is trapping himself more than the Theraprism is trapping him, but his situation isn't to be pitied, it's karmic justice. What's so satisfying about Bill's eventual comeuppance is that he's the one making himself suffer. The only thing Bill needs to do to escape is to admit he was wrong, to stop revelling in the suffering of others, but...Well, he chooses not to.
He could slip his head
From the jewelled noose
So lightly tied -
If he tried,
As a maid could loose
The belt from her side;
He could slip the bond
So lightly tied -
If he tried.
For all of his guilt about his parents and his so-called 'dark and troubled past', Bill has never regretted a single person he's hurt since. He didn't regret taking over the world, he regretted being caught. He didn't regret hurting Ford, he regretted losing him. Bill will probably be doomed to wallow in the Theraprism for all eternity, cursing his situation and blaming everyone else for his inevitable downfall. An overgrown child who once had too much power and lost it all throwing a tantrum for the ages.
But now he can't hurt anyone with that horn of his.
171 notes · View notes
astridthevalkyrie · 8 months ago
Text
love & deepspace | watching the solar eclipse with you
a/n: l&ds boys leave me alone l&ds boys are you listening please leave me alone
Tumblr media
You're fiddling with your watch as you stare straight ahead, squinting to see if the short young lady across the street is really watching you through her window or whether or not it's a trick of the light. It certainly wasn't a trick of the light last week. You think it might be because you changed your curtains recently, and it just draws her eyes a little more naturally. You'd be more upset if you didn't spend so much time looking at her window wondering if she was looking at your window.
The wind teases your hair as you lean over the side of the balcony. Down below, the gleam from the quickly disappearing sun shines off your motorcycle, showing off the fresh polish you'd rubbed it down with earlier this morning.
"Admiring your baby?"
"I'm always admiring my baby," you sigh happily, letting out a small excited gasp when Xavier wraps his arms around you and offers you a bag of chips. "You actually found them!"
He hums lowly while you open the bag and dive in. Bless him for being just as much of a snacker as you. Not that the solar eclipse is an event you feel the need to celebrate, not with something like a party at least, but it still feels special. And it feels especially special because you and your boyfriend both made sure to request time off to just enjoy the moment together. For him to hunt down a favorite childhood snack for you too, well...this is a lot more than just a date now. This is something important, you can feel it.
And yet, Xavier treats the entire situation like it's any other day. He burrows his face into your neck, avoiding the sun entirely. The glow on his skin is even more beautiful than the one on your motorcycle.
"Xavier," you giggle, swatting at his hands while his fingers clutch your sweater all the more tightly. "Xavier, this is a once-in-a-lifetime event!"
"So enjoy it," he utters softly, pressing a kiss to your collarbone. "My once-in-a-lifetime event is right here."
Tumblr media
"Doctor," you tease quietly, "I think I'll just sneak a small glance—"
Immediately, a warm hand covers your eyes, and you bite back a laugh. Zayne, for how clever he is, takes absolutely no chances with you. One might find it insulting, that he thinks you seriously would simply gaze up at the sun and let it burn your retinas, but you begrudgingly admit that you've perhaps made some impulsive decisions in the past.
With a brief smile, you take his hand in yours, and slide it down to your lips, kissing his palm. Hazel eyes meet yours and soften fondly.
"You only have the one lunch break," he murmurs, "and there is only one eclipse. Surely there were better places to see it aside from my car."
Of course there were. Even the roof of the UNICORNS building would have an incredible view. But Zayne had given you the privilege of sitting in the drivers' seat for once, his AC is always set to the perfect temperature, and most importantly...
Zayne is there. And he watches you like you're the most interesting thing about the world right now—yesterday, today, and always. He took his car out of its special parking spot just to sit in the corner of the street with the best view, all because you asked once, and you couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
Instead of explaining all these reasons, you merely lean over the driver's seat, tug the collar of his short close, and plant a short kiss on his lips. He responds in kind, hand immediately rising to cup your cheek and deepen the kiss.
When he pulls back after a minute, lips swollen a little, he says breathlessly, "We'll miss actually seeing the eclipse at this rate."
"Well, you were right," you whisper, fisting his collar in your hands, "I only have the one lunch break, and I can't waste it."
His gaze becomes something indescribable, and the protective eyewear he's been holding in his hands slips onto the floor of the car as he cups your cheeks.
This time, Zayne kisses you.
Tumblr media
For once, you were the dramatic one, insisting on a full outing, which you and Rafayel went back and forth on, until the two of you compromise by going out into his backyard. Outside, you draped a lovely little picnic blanket on the grass.
Rather dramatically, he's draped himself over you, head in your lap like he's making a huge sacrifice.
"Raf, at least look once."
"No," he whines quietly, so soft you want to coo, burying his face into your stomach, "fishies like me can't stare directly into the sun."
You poke his cheek. "Newsflash, H2O-Just-Add-Water, humans can't do that either. That's what the glasses are for."
Rafayel kisses your stomach, looking perfectly content. It's a wonder he even came out with you to see the eclipse at all, considering he's clearly not planning to actually experience it. With a sigh, you curl a few fingers into his hair, absentmindedly scratching the top of his head while you sneak another glance at the little orange light peeking back at you.
He grumbles. "Be careful. I don't trust your human technology."
"Yeah, yeah." With a smile, you look back down at him. "Are you sure you don't wanna see? It's really beautiful!"
"Oh, really?" he muses, muffled against your clothes. "Alright, I'll be the judge of that."
Then, without warning, he turns his head and gazes up.
Immediately, your hand flies up to shield his eyes. Your fingers brush up against your forehead, wisps of hair tickling your thumb as you try in a mild panic to protect him. While your first thought is to scold him for risking his eyesight like that, you note just a second later that Rafayel isn't trying to look at the eclipse. His gaze is trained on you, as though he can see more than the eclipse—the entire universe—in your eyes.
Faintly, you think that the pink of his pupils is prettier than any shade the sun could ever hope to be.
"Hm," he mumbles, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your ear, "yeah, you're right. Beautiful."
258 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
I’ll be honest… I don’t feel like staying up till 5am rendering this.. so half render is what we’re getting this morning…
CW: "V stands for Vere and Violence!" (Third (•)bullet point)
Pony Vere…. Feels illegal…. But anyway-
A unicorn under the ever watchful eyes of the Senobium. You can regularly find young mages nervously patrolling the streets with his chain not to far behind.
His magic specialty is more of a summoning than anything. Known to have little fox-like spirits following him during his hunts. They seem harmless enough during the day, but enough rumors have spread about gruesome displays of unhinged jaws reviling rows of sharpened canines gouging the throats of unsuspecting soulless. Pink flashes carve imprints of light into the memory of the alleyways as painful bellows ooze out onto the cobblestone dripping deep crimson into the sewers. These stories alone are enough to scare people away from the fox handler... And in return his handlers.
Though even if you're the unfortunate mage sacked with babysitting this sly man, at least he makes interesting company. After a day full of torment playful teasing, he'll gladly drag you to watch him drink the night away and live high on the town! (till curfew that is...) If you're patient enough to sit through his wine tasting, you might get lucky enough to hear him ramble about the old days when he could fly. How he missed his wings and damn heaven for crossing him and damning him to this hell hole!
By the time he's raving about the indignance of it all and then cursing you for your peon role in his impressment... is normally the sign to start the long walk back to the academy.
He seems a little sad, but who could blame him. It has to suck being under lock and key 24/7. Not to mention who knows how long he's been there... The Senobium never agrees to further comments whenever new mages ask how long Vere's been chained up, but they know better than the fall for his "500 years" bit... Does he think they're silly?
172 notes · View notes
pentacentric · 9 months ago
Text
I probably think way too much about how very little Sam knew about Mary. How John and Dean gave him almost nothing, to the point that she wasn't even really like a ghost shadowing his life, more like the story of one overheard in bits and pieces over the years. And yet, his whole life from when he can first remember—every bit of motivation or guilt, every point of pride or shame—is built around his mother, this person he isn't allowed to know.
I've written a lot of bits and pieces about it before, but never a standalone. This is actually an excerpt from a longer story, but I modified it some and I think it works on its own, hopefully (he knows about hunting already but that's really the only canon difference).
..........................
When Sam's in fourth grade, and has to write a page about his favorite memory, he asks for Dean's help. All he can seem to dredge up at the moment is just too weird or too farfetched. Things that say far too much about the way they live for a teacher to read.
So he asks Dean what he would write about.
After some teasing about his best memories being of all the times Sam's embarrassed himself (and a well-aimed pink rubber eraser hitting him between the eyes) Dean quiets down and turns thoughtful.
"Well, I dunno what my most favorite memory would be, really. I guess…" He bites his lip, chews on it for a second, gaze directed absently into the distance. "I think it would prob'ly be my first memories? It musta been, like, when I was three and four maybe. They're…of Mom."
"Oh." Sam's chest gets a little tight. He speaks quietly, cautiously. Dean—Dean and Dad both—they don't talk about her much. Sam's seen her picture, the one that Dad keeps in his journal, a few times, but he knows so little about her. Just that she was pretty (beautiful), with a smile that reminds of him of Dean's and wavy blonde hair. "What was she—what are they like?"
Dean smiles, maybe a little sad, but it's more than that. Warm, wistful; gaze still unfocused and distant. "Mostly…happy. Like…bright. She'd sing to me a lot, and, like, I didn't know the songs back then, but, when I hear 'em now, I can hear her voice singing them. Beatles, Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkel, um…Peter, Paul, and Mary, maybe…" Dean chuffs out a laugh. "I remember Puff the Magic Dragon, at least…I think I even remember Dad teasin' her about how she better sing me some real music, too, not just sissy crap, but, I dunno, maybe I made that up."
Dean pauses, that bittersweet expression on his face, still, and Sam doesn't want him to get lost in it. He also doesn't want to miss this opportunity, if he can help it.
"I dunno. He'd say somethin' like that." Dean spares him half a smile, still somewhere else in his head. "What…what else do you remember? What'd you guys do together?"
"Well, not a whole lot. I guess mostly just the normal stuff you do with a little kid. Like legos, I remember we'd build castles an' fortresses and stuff. I wanted her to build me a car but we didn't have enough black bricks, so she made me a little boat instead. Dad said it looked like a bathtub." He smiles. "Um, she'd dance with me, sometimes. To the radio. Make lunch—I mostly remember sandwiches and Mac n' Cheese. I'd sit in that little seat in the cart when she went to the grocery store, and she'd ask me what was on the list and I'd pretend I could read it and make up dumb stuff."
The silence is longer this time. Sam breathes out, carefully. "What kinda stuff?"
"I dunno. Just silly things, like 'elephant steaks!' Or 'a unicorn!' Or 'poop n' rhubarb pie!'"
"Gross." Sam wrinkles his nose.
Dean grins at that. "I think you're, like, the only kid ever who never found poop and fart jokes funny."
"'Cause they're not."
When Dean laughs, muttering little weirdo, Sam looks around for something harmless to throw at him, pouts.
"Don't worry, Sammy, if anyone wonders why you're so weird I'll just tell them it's 'cause you still poop your pants, and you're kinda sensitive about it an' all."
"Dean."
Sam decides that his pencil is perfectly fine to throw after all and, as a concession, doesn't aim it at his head. Dean grins, not seeming too annoyed by the assault, so Sam decides to push his luck.
"Did Mom think it was funny? Your lists?"
Dean's melancholy little smile is back. "Yeah…yeah, I think she did. She'd always laugh, anyways. An' she had the best laugh. I'd make up stuff that just got more and more ridiculous just so I could keep watchin' her laugh." He sighs, shrugs. "Anyways, yeah…that's Mom. That's what I remember."
It gets quiet after that, and Sam can see Dean's face starting to shutter over as he withdraws. It's rare for Sam to get to see his brother so open and unguarded any more. Over the last few years, Dean's started to change; Sam can tell. Still fun, still charming, still affectionate, at least with Sam (mostly when there's no one else around to catch him being so uncool). But, even though they're not always alike—Dean doesn't usually brood, rarely explodes, and he never gets that kind of burning cold John does when he's focused on something—sometimes now he kinda reminds Sam of Dad. He's been more closed off, the way Dad can be, his deeper emotions pushed farther away, out of Sam's reach. Doesn't show when things get to him, like he used to.
It's actually kind of lonely, sometimes.
"So, what are you gonna write about, Sammy?"
When Sam shrugs, Dean suggests the time they ran out of gas on a back road in central Florida. They'd only walked two miles before an Oscar Myer Wienermobile came barreling down the road, seemingly out of nowhere, and gave them a lift to and from the closest gas station (still a good eight miles away). Sam counters with the night in Montana that Dad got so drunk he started fighting with the motel owner about yetis (Dad coming down hard on the side of 'hoax'). They ended up getting kicked out at two am after Dad had cut down the guy’s “Bigfoot Crossing” sign with an axe. They toss back and forth increasingly ridiculous ideas until they're both laughing so hard they're in literal tears. When John comes back, they can't even stop long enough to answer what's so funny. Dad just smiles, bemused and fond, and shakes his head before heading off to shower.
Sam thinks maybe he can add this afternoon to his Good Memories pile.
In the end, he waits until that evening, before bed, and easily fills up a page-and-a-half about the time, last summer, when Dad was on a hunt out west and he and Dean had spent all afternoon exploring tidal pools in Yaquina Head, Oregon, marveling at the tiny little aquatic worlds they found. He invents an older teenage cousin that tagged along so the teacher won't question why two young kids spent the day alone in a national park.
He gets an A.
From then on, Sam keeps his eyes out in thrift stores for cassettes from the bands Dean mentioned; pockets them when he can to listen to later on the beat-up Walkman knock-off Dean stole for him for his sixth birthday. He likes a lot of it, but he's careful about what he keeps; only his favorites. He stashes them in the bottom of his school bag, in the hollowed-out book that Bobby showed him how to make last year, on a rainy day when Sam got bored with watching old Westerns.
For some reason, he doesn't want Dean to know about them. Doesn't want him to feel like Sam's trying to take something away from him. So he slips them in when he's sitting in the back of the Impala alone, on long trips, and closes his eyes. Lets the albums pour into his ears over the headphones; shuts the rest of the world out. Sgt Pepper's. Pet Sounds. Bookends. He tries to imagine his mom, Mary, singing the songs to him, in a sunny kitchen.
But he can never really pull together a complete image of her; just bits and pieces, blurred-together impressions: yellow hair, the smiling face from the picture (looking kind of flat, like a mask), a flowered dress he'd seen in a shop window. And he doesn't know what her voice sounded like, so it kind of just ends up being a composite of the voices of some of his favorite teachers (along with the mother of a classmate back in Indiana who drove him home once when she spotted him waiting for the rain to stop under the playground slide).
So he gives up on trying to picture her, and, instead, just tries to sink into the music, sees if he can feel what she was feeling when she listened to it. Imagines the conversations they might have: which songs would be her favorites, why she would have liked them, where she was the first time she heard them playing.
When he hears those songs on the radio now, or over the speakers in a restaurant, it makes him feel kind of happy and sad at the same time.
They remind him of her.
(Except for America—for some reason, that one makes him think of Dean.)
150 notes · View notes
littlebouncybunnie · 1 month ago
Note
CAN I HAVE A CAREGIVER FORD HEADCANNONS PEASEEEEE
-🍄
Absolutely, Friend :3
Caregiver Ford Pines Headcanons
The most he'll let you see are fairies, gnomes, and occasionally unicorns (from a distance because he doesn't get along with them)
He doesn't take his kiddo on monster hunts, but he will take you on a walk in the woods with him to look for bugs, birds, or plants. If you're not into any of those, then maybe he just takes outside on a walk with him, but you gotta hold his hand so you don't get lost
He strikes me as the kind of Caregiver to water down your juice so you take in more water and a little less sugar (boooo /j)
He keeps a cabinet full of just stuff for you, like sippy cups, pacifiers, blankets, toys, movies, etc. The same day he found out you were a regressor, he did his research, and went out and bought a bunch if stuff just for you because he wanted you to be comfortable
He absolutely holds you in his lap if he's working and can't play at the moment. He'll just work around you
Unfortunately you're not allowed in the lab in the basement, it's too dangerous. He tries his best to stay upstairs with you, but if he has to, he'll get Stan to babysit for an hour or two, but he comes back as soon as he can (don't worry, Stan adores you)
With anyone else he's insecure about his hands, but you get the special privilege of being allowed to play with his fingers as long as you're gentle
He lets you wear his trench coat :3
He reads out loud to you! Whatever book you want, he'll read to you. He starts off not doing the voices at first, but the more he reads, the more he gets into it and he starts getting into character
He will make sure you eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He may even feed you himself, depending on how young you are
He'll prepare snacks for you :) He'll cut up bananas, strawberries, apple slices, etc. Most of your snacks are fruits or vegetables, it's usually Stan that sneaks you sweets
You get lots of cheek and forehead kisses, he's very affectionate
He sits with you until you fall asleep, then he'll turn on your night light <3
With how extra he made the Journals, he's definitely an arts and crafts person. This applies not only to doing arts and crafts with you, but he also hand sewed a plushy just for you that matches your favorite creature out of his journal
You get nicknames like munchkin, gremlin, troll (if you're a mischievous kiddo), prince/ princess, or sweetheart
He carries you around on his hip if you're young enough, but if you're a toddler/ middle regressor, he'll hold your hand
He absolutely will play pretend with you. With how much he got into DD&MD he definitely has a wonderful imagination and he'll make the game fun no matter what. He always gets into character
If you're having a rough day, he'll sit and rock you in his lap, speaking quietly and gently until you're feeling better or fallen asleep
For Neurodivergent or easily overstimulated kiddos, he's almost always got headphones and a fidget toy on hand. He's always prepared <3
43 notes · View notes
serxinns · 5 months ago
Text
Fins and magic~
Tumblr media
Yandere Mermaid 1a x mage gn reader!
Glad to be in @lady-ashfade collab event I hope you enjoy!
Tumblr media
In a world where mystical creatures like unicorns, witches, dragons other animals that people think weren't real are considered rare valuable treasures or pieces of history that need to be protected and cherished, which sounds good but it was way more darker
Since people discovered that even a picture of a creature worth over 200k dollars people started to try and hunt down the creatures and take them to labs to study which can be described as hell and torture so mystical creatures are forced to hide their powers and change their identity to look more "socially acceptable" in order not to get caught
And thats where you came in you're just a regular high school student who lives alone with their pet cat in a small cozy house by the tides and beaches the reason you live out here but you like the water and view and there are more special items that can go to your potions, you would collect seashells washed up seaweed, sea plants and more! To the point people looked at you, some called you weird and some called you an explorer which gave you the nickname sea collector you didn't really mind the name and you honestly thought it was cool!
One day while you were gathering some items on the beach this time it was some seaweed for a potion-breathing potion you heard someone whimpering and smashing around you looked around to see where the noise came from and you landed on a small Rocky Hill peaked down to see a girl with a single black ponytail with Rudy red tail crushed under some rocks squirming helplessly
You looked around to see if the coast was clear and slid down to help her when the mermaid saw you her claws came out and started hissing and growling "Hey hey I'm just here to help you I swear" You slowly went up to her trying to feel of the rock her tails crushed under and you heard her hissed turned into a whine in distress "it's ok...I'm gonna help you I swear!" You said with a reassuring smile the mermaid calmed down a bit still in pain but seemingly trusting the human
You then begin trying to lift up the rocks you manage to pry off 2 out of the 3 rocks the 3rd rock tho was budged in there deep so using your hands was useless, you then got a stick and tried wedging it between the rocks then pushing down on it trying to open the gap enough for the mermaid to finally free itself quickly crawling its way into the water safety while you cheered for her at the end of the shore
You were about to walk away when you saw something shiny and round In the water you squinted your eyes a bit realizing it was a big pinkish white peral shiny brightly in the moonlight you held it observing it looking around to where it came from and saw there you saw the mermaid again smiling at you then disappearing into the sea
It's been a couple of days since you didn't see the mermaid again but her pearl still shined brightly ever since the day it was handed to you
But Other than that, everything's been acting weird around you, like there would be small pieces of jewelry and other stuff suddenly washing up in front of you, whenever you leave your stuff at the shore like your sock, pen, marbles, etc it's suddenly gone never to be returned and you swore you put it far away from the water
Another then if you would multiple figures from, the water watching staring directly at your house for a few seconds then jumping back Into the water .... Yeah after that incident you started making sure your doors and windows were locked up shut before you sleep
....
Momo couldn't stop thinking about you, your soft h/c hair, your adorable face, your everything! She just couldn't! She would always watch you from afar behind a rock Watching as you observe a piece of an item washing up on the shore momo blushed she had never seen a cute little mage like you she just wanted you to take you down with her so you could be with her forever but reality struck knowing humans and mages can't survive I the water
Izuku was the 1st to know his friend's strange behavior Watching how she suddenly left after the pod dinner and brought a piece of the fish to the shore when he asked her one time she said she was going to feed the shark mermaids which was weird since Kirishima, is the only shark mermaids they know for now
Izuku then talked about it with Iida and I thought it was weird too so the Two boys followed Momo one day and hid behind a rock behind her, a hour has pass as they saw nothing, iida just thought that momo just wanted to watch the humans so when he was about to swim out of his hiding spot nand izuku panicked trying not to blow thier cover all 3 of them stopped when they saw the human
Iida and Izuku couldn't pay attention to what they were doing like they were under a spell, you were so beautiful in their eyes the way you giggled and had fun playing with your pet and ran out, the way your h/c hair flowed in the wind, and the way you were running around without care so free in those things you humans call legs, the 3 mermaids were all so mesmerized by the new human they have to have you heck WANT YOU
Momo turned around and saw the 2 mermaids staring at Her human she snarled at them, causing them to flinch back "Why are you staring at what's MINE" "yours?! Since when did you claimed them?" Izuku said glaring at the female iida broke the two of them up "now its not the time to fight let us go before the other humans see us" izuku and momo both stared at each and reluctantly agreed
they quickly swam back to their cove where they were met with the other mermaid tribe all suspicious and worried about their whereabouts, iida then reassured them it was nothing but Izuku interrupted him saying they saw a kind human, a magical human! everyone then gathered around the three of them asking questions about the mage, "they were so lovely their laugh their hair and everything" "perfect to be a mate.." iida murmured just imagining the possibility while momo glared at the both of them
"Noah they sound so manly"
"and cute!"
"Maybe they'll perform magic with us!"
"Do you think they'll like dead fish as a gift"
"OF COURSE NOT SCOTCH TAPE THEYLL PROB LIKE WHAT I BRING THEM"
Ever since then the mermaid fixation was all on you whenever someone mentioned your name they felt warm and fuzzy they wanted you to be their mate their little mage they would fantasize about you having a cute little mermaid tail would it be black Would it be orange would it be mult color or a great shade of f/c? Yea thatll prob suit you!
But they were all too scared to come up because the two-legged monsters were prob gonna hurt them so they came up with a plan to finally meet you! To be their mate~
you were sleeping soundly in your bedroom the only sounds you could hear were your soft snores, your cat's soft purring, and the waves accompanying your room until the pearl started to glow brightly, you glanced at the glowing pearl and grabbed it, you grumbled trying to find an off switch "Follow the music..." you jumped hearing the sudden whisper in your ear you looked around seeing who was responsible but you heard it again this time it was coming from the now glowing pearl..
"Listen to the pearl follow the music"
You were confused until you heard some music playing You know where and tried looking around to find where was this music coming from, you looked out the window and realized it was from outside but it was cold so you grabbed your slippers, a scrap your jacket, the pearl and your staff and stuffed them in your bag and looked closely out the window one last time to observe where the song was coming from you heard some singing a male singing...
You look quite divine tonight~
Here among these vibrant lights
You slowly open the door and creak the open peeping to see where was the beautiful singing from... realizing it came from the ocean you grab put on your slippers get your bag and staff and quietly go out the door observing the beautiful singing It was so addicting and alluring.
Join delight surround us as we sail~
Signed yours truly the whale~
You then heard multiple people joining in the song not just men but women too... you looked around desperately to try and find the singing voices looking around in the water then suddenly you see it no them
Joy's Mirage's kingdom come
No one left at stake
You then see about 20 mermaids in the water coming together and singing a beautiful song your eyes widen as you go closer as the mermaids all spot you the mermaids are in shock at your beauty giggling and gossiping at one another about you, you then suddenly blush in embarrassment, Momo then swam u to the shore and reached out her hand to you, you hesitated since you spotted her sharp claws but momo gently smiled signaling you they were gonna harm you, you then pulled our your arm to the mermaid and she sniffed it a bit and hugged you tightly
You blushed and were adored by her sudden action it made the other mermaids jealous so they all swam up right beside her with open arms trying to do the same which you giggled "Guys guys! I got enough hugs for everyone" You then went up to each of them and hugged them, they then started to introduced themselves with gifts along side it as a greeting
Izuku: a con shell
Iida: a chain necklace with a cotton cap
Shoto: a shiny small crystal
Tsuyu: a shiny rusty fork
Ochako:some beatiful coral
Bakugo: a Shark tooth bracelet
Denki: a worn out watch and a kiss on your handn
Mina: a pretty pink dead seastar
Sero: a dirty looking doll that look like you
Kirishima: Shiny Rock
Momo: a adorable pearl necklace
Jirou: some sea flowers!
Hakagure: a Musicbox
Ojiro:a Cup!
Sato: some Gold coins
Aoyama: a Mirror!
Koda: a torn up plushie!
You put the gifts in your bag and thanked them when you saw how the sun was going up soon you had to leave "I'm sorry guys I gotta leave soon I got to school in the morning but we'll meet each other every day!" They all whined they didn't want you to leave them so soon! Momo even gripped your hand a bit hard but you Glanced at her and smiled "I promise!" You quickly got her hand out of her grasp and quickly left waving behind her they all waved and shouted bye at you as you left their sight to their sadness
They didn't want to say bye not yet not ever! They'll find a way.. they'll do anything for you to have you by their side forever~
Dolphin divider by @anitalenia (for the cute dolphin dividers!)
115 notes · View notes