#is it the biblical Job syndrome???

[wildsaltair]

just call me pain and sorrow because I belong to Maximus no matter what he does

[camisoledadparis]

THIS DAY IN GAY HISTORY

based on: The White Crane Institute's 'Gay Wisdom', Gay Birthdays, Gay For Today, Famous GLBT, glbt-Gay Encylopedia, Today in Gay History, Wikipedia, and more … November 24

1632 – Baruch Spinoza, the Dutch philosopher was born on this date (d. 1677). One of the great rationalists of 17th century philosophy, he laid the groundwork for the 18th century Enlightenment and modern biblical criticism. By virtue of his magnum opus, the posthumous Ethics, Spinoza is also considered one of Western philosophy's definitive ethicists. He was raised and educated in the Orthodox Jewish fashion, also studying Latin and was thoroughly familiar with European humanism.

What exactly is it that caused him to be excommunicated from the synagogue when he was only 24 years old? Many scholars have speculated that the horror Spinoza inspired in the Jewish community may have come not only from his espousal of advanced economic theories, but from his espousal, as well, of Greek love among impressionable students in the liberal circle where he taught. A Dutch physician, J. Roderpoort, wrote at The Hague in 1897: "Spinoza excites the youth to respect women not at all and to give themselves to debauchery." Was Spinoza merely teaching the Greek and Roman classics, with their inevitable passages on pederasty? What were Roderpoort's motives for discrediting the Jewish philosopher? Was Spinoza, in fact a pederast? It's all open to speculation.

1933 – A law was passed in Germany to allow surgical castrations as a crime prevention measure and a therapeutic treatment for homosexuality.

1930 – Albert Wolsky is an American costume designer. He has worked both on stage shows as well as for film, and has received two Academy Awards, for his work on the films All That Jazz and Bugsy.

Wolsky was born in Paris, France, but during World War II, he and the rest of his family fled to the United States to escape the German occupation. After graduating from the City College of New York, he served in the army from 1953–56, spending most of his enlistment in Japan. Once he returned to the United States, he began working in his father's travel agency. However, he decided to change careers and took an assistant's job with notable costume maker Helene Pons.

Wolsky became a well-regarded costume designer, working both on Broadway and in the motion picture industry.

His longtime partner was actor James Mitchell.

1933 – René Enriquez remembered for his role as the perpetually worried Lieutenant Ray Calletano on Hill Street Blues.

Born in San Francisco, California, he attended San Francisco College and San Francisco State University. He served with the U.S.Air Force during the Korean War. He was a member of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York from 1958. He was also the nephew of General Emiliano Chamorro, one-time president of Nicaragua.

As a film actor, René was known for Bananas (1971), Harry and Tonto (1974), Under Fire (1983) and The Evil That Men Do (1988).

He also appeared in episodes of Charlie's Angles, Benson, WKRP in Cincinnati and Quincy.

In biographies and intervies, Enriquez told of a wife who had tragically died. It was a lie. He was a homosexual bachelor who contracted AIDS in 1987. As he became more and more ill, he told his friends and fans he was suffering from cancer. He died in March 1990.

His publicist and long-time friend Henry Bollinger revealed, "René told me he was dying of pancreatic cancer. He never told me anything about a gay lifestyle."

The true cause of his death only became known when his death certificate was published. Cause of death was given as "cytomegalovirus enteritis due to Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS)"

The only people privy to René's terrible secret were his two sisters and his 25-year-old Hispanic lover.

1940 – Arthur Tress, American photographer, born. The uncompromising, poetic imagery of American photographer Arthur Tress is the stuff of dreams, called forth from the artist's reckoning with the world and his place in it.

A New Yorker, he began his photographic career at age twelve, making snapshots of dilapidated mansions and Coney Island decay. An introverted child of divorce, Tress moved between two worlds--his lower-class mother's neighborhoods and his nouveau riche, remarried father's more prosperous one, observing and eventually photographing both milieus.

As he recalls, from a very young age he was already aware that his sexuality was different from most of his classmates and he was drawn to subject matter that was similarly marginalized and different.

During his studies at Bard College, Tress explored painting and filmmaking but was ultimately committed to still photography. Although he worked in a documentary style, from the beginning his imagery was characterized by a surrealist sensibility.

After graduation Tress traveled the world, in part financed by his father and also supporting himself by making ethnographic and documentary images. During his travels he became increasingly influenced by his experience of other cultures, particularly in matters of spirituality and consciousness.

Tress's first book, The Dream Collector (1972), was an attempt to visualize children's dreams, often featuring children whom Tress had interviewed as models. His second book, Shadow: A Novel in Photographs (1975), showed "portraits" of the photographer's shadow and explored the idea that the shadow literally and metaphorically represented one's dark side.

Theater of the Mind (1976), which included an essay by his friend and mentor, gay photographer Duane Michals, explored adult fantasies and marked the introduction in Tress's work of overtly erotic imagery. As Tress explained, he sought to make "photographs [that] attempt to make explicit . . . sexual passions and ironies."

"Superman Fantasy"

Around 1972 Tress consciously began to include what he called "the more intimate spheres of a gay sexuality and homoerotic fantasy life." Facing Up (1977-1980), alternately titled Phallic Phantasy, was Tress's first explicitly conscious exploration of his sexuality in which he exclusively photographed male nudes.

"Groom with White Arabian"

Many of these images were included in Tress's homoerotic homage, Male of the Species: Four Decades of Photography of Arthur Tress (1999), which culls imagery from Tress's forty-year career of exploring the male body and sexuality. The sensual photographs, sequenced in a loose narrative of experience from youth to death, matter-of-factly infuse male sexuality with humor and irony.

In contrast, Tress's obsessive constructions made and photographed for the Hospital series (1984-1987) are a garish, nightmarish reckoning with health-related issues and death in the era of AIDS.

1954 – James Lecesne is an American actor, author, screenwriter, and LGBT rights activist best known for his screenplay of the Academy-award winning short film Trevor. He has written several books including Absolute Brightness and Virgin Territory, and is also active in the entertainment industry as an actor and producer.

Lecesne wrote the 1995 short film Trevor, which won the Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film. He based the screenplay for Trevor on a character from his one-man show Word of Mouth. Also in 1995, Word of Mouth won the Drama Desk Award for Outstanding One-Person Show. Word of Mouth was directed by Eve Ensler.

In 1998, on the night Ellen DeGeneres hosted the television debut of Trevor on HBO, Lecesne co-founded and launched The Trevor Project as the first nationwide 24-hour crisis intervention lifeline for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning youth, including phone, in-person and online life-affirming resources such as Trevor Lifeline, TrevorChat, TrevorSpace, Ask Trevor and Trevor Education Workshops. The Trevor Project has been supported by a wide variety of celebrities, including Daniel Radcliffe, Neil Patrick Harris, James Marsden, Kim Kardashian, George Takei, and Anderson Cooper.

1984 – Wolf Hudson is a Dominican American film director, street dancer and pornographic actor of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual films.

Hudson started his adult film career in 2006 at age 22 in New York when he was cast by Michael Lucas in the Lucas Entertainment project Michael Lucas' Auditions Vol. 22. He moved to San Francisco in early 2007 to focus on his career in the pornographic film industry full-time and to work for gay pornographic film studio Factory Videos.

In August 2008, he co-starred in the GayVN Award-winning bisexual film Shifting Gears , directed by Chi Chi LaRue. The film stirred up controversy when the term "Straight-for-pay" (a play on word for Gay-for-pay) was coined to reference performer Blake Riley's first encounter with a woman (Shy Love) and liking it. Riley received most of the criticism, but so did Hudson and LaRue.

Hudson appeared in the third season of the Canadian TV show Webdreams , which followed Jet Set Men directors Chris Steele and Chad Donovan.

Hudson turned down an offer to appear on a January 22, 2009, episode of The Tyra Banks Show concerning Gay-for-pay performers. He expressed his reservations about appearing because of how the show could twist things around to make the guys look bad.

Hudson identifies himself as heterosexual, even going as far as to call himself a "sexualist" instead of gay-for-pay. He is quoted as saying, "I am not conventional. I am not fully straight because I do gay porn, but I'm not bi because I don't date men in my personal life. I define myself as a 'sexualist'. I think Chi Chi LaRue came up with that term and it works for me."

1991 – Freddie Mercury, lead singer for Queen, died of complications from AIDS. It was only the day before that he acknowledged that he had the disease. He left most of his estate to a former girlfriend, Mary Austen, who cared for him during his final months.

2015 – The Vietnamese National Assembly passes a law that allows those who have undergone sex reassignment surgery to register under their preferred sex. However, sex reassignment surgery is illegal in Vietnam. The law comes into effect in 2017.

On Gay Rights, Vietnam is Now More Progressive Than America

[timeshift-playground]

uhm ultrakill hc talk (V1 and Gabriel edition)

guys did you know i like ultrak- *explodes*

\\also slight suicide mention

-🪷 (Adrian)

VERY LONG POST so the rest is after the cut

V1:

Runs digitigrade

The heels on its feet are actually the jet boosters that let it dash

maybe has small wheels built into its feet to help it slide. maybe. i swear i don't just want the murder robot to have heelies

weird fucking insect THING

Any idea of affection and human actions it has learned from observing its creators interact. Ex. blinking, twiddling its thumbs, etc

Also the concept of it being capable of mercy is very interesting to me. We see in the ferryman fight that once he stops attacking, V1 does too. The same with characters giving monologues and such. It doesn't attack until it knows the target is a threat, and seeing that everything in hell is like completely hostile we don't really get to see it sparing those who don't harm it.

as for killing i feel like it just doesn't feel anything. It doesn't have satisfaction it's just doing what it has to to survive, like a wild animal. I think it's going down through hell not only out of hunger but also curiosity. I mean it probably consumes a lot of blood to run its systems at the capacity it does so. Things like the cybergrind serve as practice when it gets bored (also it def replays its favorite fights)

As for dying i have two ideas

It leaves the pools of blood instead of collecting them for a reason. Once it is destroyed it can absorb blood from the ground to put itself back together. This of course takes time, which is why the enemies and bosses come back after you die. Meaning it's immortal

Hell itself brings V1 back each time because it wants entertainment, maybe resetting time too??? This doesn't really make sense to me tho

Gabriel:

gifted kid syndrome and BADDDDD

Shapeshifter. I don't know why. He has a human form (i refuse to believe he'd be white) and a more angelic form (his head is just a biblically accurate angel

immortal with his light, but can be exhausted with enough harm (ie. first fight)

his wounds heal extremely fast, but the more exhausted he gets the slower he heals (this is why he can taste his blood in the second fight)

this guy. oh my GAWD. Daddy issues times 10000000. Nice chill dude but indebted to his job because the council. I think he had a good friendship with minos before he had to kill him. Secretly played organ and read stories to filth children he didn't think belonged in hell (such as those who died to suicide). The only angel who really dared to step foot or even worry about Hell, so the council used his faith as a tool to manipulate him. This is a majority of what drives him to kill the council after the second fight

Now GabV1el, this shit is so canon.

I don't think they're really a romantic pairing, and it's very likely one sided on Gabriel's side. Gabriel is just enamored with V1 because it's the first thing to ever give him true struggle. Killing Minos? Easy. Killing Sisyphus? Easy. Killing the council? Easy. But V1 just keeps beating him. It's a passion to overcome, to finally beat this machine. And I am not normal about it AT ALL

As for V1, I feel like it doesn't understand the concept of romance. Things like kissing and embracing are just an action like any other to it. Although it may find the concept of affection interesting when all contact with others has always been harm

[owlallthumbs]

Magical March! [1.3] ₊˚ʚ 💙 ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

“Even in difficult times, there could be good moments.” ―  J. Aleong, A Most Important Year

Yes, those good moments seemed to have happened to me last week!

˗ˏˋ Monday, March 13 – My otouto's birthday! I felt bad for him as he bawled about something on his special day but I prayed that this should be the start of his journey toward a more difficult adolescent life. I love you, T! I will always do my best to be the best sister and friend to you 🥰.

˗ˏˋ Tuesday, March 14 – Our EsP class was absolutely fun as we talk about our experiences from the promenade while doing a performance task—an ideal weekly schedule that I sure won't follow 😋.

˗ˏˋ Wednesday, March 15 – Finally done discussing the Romantic Period in our Music class, and playing the piano with our teacher was such a hasty yet amazing experience! We are currently practicing sir Frédéric Chopin's Nocturne in E-flat major, Op. 9, No. 2 for the upcoming group performance but since I'm part of our class' chorale, I was exempted in this output and the 3rd Quarter summative test—one of the biggest reasons I should definitely work hard and win the contest! 🏋🏼‍♀️

˗ˏˋ Thursday, March 16 – New economics-related song done! It is a cover of that of sir Rick Astley's song as we plan to rickroll the whole class 😎, and yes, we all did an amazing job! The instrumental we used is from Caitlyn Myers et al. to make the atmosphere of our class youthful when we present it. Check it out here!

˗ˏˋ Friday, March 17 – My mother's-fellow-teacher-in-a-Chinese-school-and-friend-who-is-my-now-favorite-teacher-in-Filipino's birthday! I've known him since I was in elementary and the fact that he's now my teacher in high school makes me realize that life really moves faster if you don't cherish each moment. I pray that he'll always have a healthy and happy life as he becomes better every day. We love you, sir Su! 🥰 I apologize for passing my output late though it won't be in Google Classroom as I have passed a Canva link—the file is editable and new edits will be seen if one just clicks on it 😭.

Speaking of which, though I have the option to use the remaining 40 minutes before the output's due—used most of the nighttime to create a fugly owl clay sculpture for an Arts worksheet 😩—, I chose to use my weekdays to write an original adaptation of an angst legend about the mulberry tree (Pyramus and Thisbe); heavily inspired by Greek Mythology and the "middle child syndrome", "childhood friends", and "star-crossed lovers" trope with a hint of a Biblical theme because I plan to publish most of my written stories someday after the school year 😩✊🏼.

Tbh, every output I've passed in my Filipino subject is a tragedy, my best friend—and my adventurous life—is the main culprit for this 😭. Lav likes to read angsty fanfiction (DSMP-centric as such) and rant about her thoughts in our Discord server 🤕. As a friend, we tend to be influenced by them and so I delved into the realm of AO3 and here I am, traumatized on the first week of usage after reading a Rin Itoshi fanfiction that literally made a deep cut in my heart and made me think of my life for a whole damn week 😞. Check it out here! (prepare your 🫀 and a bunch of 🧻)

Having said that, there are still a lot of things I need to catch up on so let's keep fighting and slaying! Have a great life! 🌻

[angelascend]

renoir is a former priest who almost got turned into a full vampire after a covenant attacked his monastery. he's now some bog witch living in the woods with alesandro. he's only a vampire hybrid because he wasn't fully transformed and as a result he's devastatingly weakened. being a hybrid made him significantly weaker in the sunlight and in a technical sense, gave him chronic fatigue syndrome, in exchange of immortality (for better or for worse.) he's still not invincible though and regenerating his wounds take out too much power that he actually feels physical pain from doing so.

alesandro is a werewolf demon that renoir adopted with full knowledge that he's a demon, while in the disguise of a dog. his specific demon species makes it so that he's one of the strains of demons that god calls for hitman/security jobs (think biblical shikigami). he now takes care of renoir after the attack. loves the priest dearly and is especially protective of him knowing what happened that night and the restrictions his new vampiric vessel gave him. initially entered the monastery to protect the church as a whole but after the attack he decided to rescue renoir after realizing it was a lost cause.

im in expy hell

[spaciebabie]

ANYTHING ABT THEM, I WANT BIBLICALLY ACCURATE LUNITICS DUMP ON ME

(Fanfic anon)

(imma b honest this is the first time I've thought deeply abt their characters beyond the ass jokes so these characters are likely ta evolve as i draw em more. my characters just tend ta write themselves yk yk?)

first off: the lunatics use they/he pronouns!

first thing that came ta my mind was that luni drives an old run down car that's got a ton of scratches n dents, but they've had it for years n they're an incredible mechanic so-

luni was a car mechanic b4 getting a job at the pizzaplex and was a little intimidated and shocked when they got the job! even though they're good at what they do, they have a little bit of imposter syndrome at times. he's a little shy, modest guy, but extremely extroverted! once he gets comfy all bets are off

tic went ta college. they went HAM. they had the goal ta work at fazbear inc b/c of how advanced their tech is! they can b a bit egotistical at times, they def think they're that shit and they have the skills ta back it up. literal science genius. he's an introvert, but he's really out there n likes ta get in ppls face. he relishes in the fact that he can creep ppl out

luni was at the pizzaplex first b4 tic came along. now, while luni is shy at times, he's not gonna take shit from NOBODY n tic was a little bit (a lot)rude ta him at first. something something...."I'm way better at my job than you why are you even here?" and so the rivalry began :)

yeah that's right!!!! rivals ta lovers!!! hoh yeah baby!!!!

they go thru some competitive stuff a la: who can fix the animatronics faster? who can do the most repairs? who can come up with the best upgrades? and it just kept going n going till they both ranked up enough in fazbear inc ta where they get paid BUCKET LOADS of money. like. these guys are LOADED. fazbear inc pays them WELL.

eventually, they get ta a point where they've both reached their peak and there was nowhere else left ta go. they're forced ta work on equal ground n get ta know each other beyond the rivalry n end up crushing on each other :3

as they get ta know each other they realize that they share similar interests in loving memey n cursed shit. HR is fucking suffering b/c they're tryna keep the pizzaplex afloat w/all the "incidents" that keep happening that they literally don't care what any of the employees are doing as long as they're doing their jobs. the lunatics at this point are valued members of the fazbear inc team n so they basically become untouchable b/c of how good they are.

that also means they're often left w/nothin ta do since the robots last p long between repairs. so bored one day, tic gets a funny idea. "what if we glued asses onto the bots?" luni laughs and the rest is history.

[meeedeee]

The First Post To The First Slash /Shipping Mailing List

The Date: October 19, 1992 ("it was almost 29 years ago") The Poster: sherrold* 

Context: the first pan fandom slash (shipping) mailing list, Virgule-L, was in its infancy. Safe spaces for women to talk about slash online were rare. And most fan fiction was distributed in print fanzines (which is why fanzine reviews like the one Sandy wrote were so important as a single fanzine cost $15-20 or around $30-40 in today's dollars.) Fan run conventions were the only way to meet other groups of fans and mailed letters and phone calls were the tenuous tethers that strung these fan groups together. The mailing list - and the Internet - was about to change...everything. ****************

Well, welcome to my adventure in mailing! I hope to have this set up soon as a 'real' mailing list, with it's own address. Until then, I only know one way for one of you to write to everyone at once. Just reply to a letter from the list, and answer yes, when it asks, 'reply to all'. So far there are 7 of us. I'll let everyone introduce themselves. I am Sandy Hereld,* I write as Alyx (often with a friend who used Alys) the pen name is *not* a secret. I started in "/" fandom in trek, moved to Pros, and now am very crazed about B7. I still love Pros, and like a lot of different fandoms, including Wiseguy, Starsky and Hutch, and Muncle. I helped run a slash con here in town last week, Virgule, and hope to make Escapade** this year (in February, in Santa Barbara--one of the list subscribers co- runs it--memberships still available), but not Revelcon.*** Maybe, if I get a new job, Media West. I've never been there, and I've always wanted to go. I just finished a great Multi-mediazine called Homosapiens Too. It has an interesting variety of fandoms and crossovers; even more important, there wasn't a single story that stunk (though I liked some better than others, of course.) Page count is Pros/Booker 18 pgs (Bodie/Booker) Eroica/Muncle 5 pgs (Eroica/Illya) Batman 4 (Batman/street punk) Nightflyers 6+ (cartoon, from the movie) TNG 5pgs (Beverly/symbiote) B7/TOS trek 5 pgs (Blake/Spock) Dangerous Liaisons 7 pgs (Valmont/Danceny) Damiano 2 pgs (from the R.A. McAvoy books) MUNCLE 2 pgs the usual Star Wars 4 (cartoon, original characters) Pros 4 pgs the usual B7 50 pgs (Blake/Avon) Perhaps I should mention at the there was a contest for most outrageous crossover pairing. My favorites were: The Right Place To Be (Bodie/Booker) by Arcane Annie & Stew--Bodie quits in a huff after an Operation Suzie, and is too embarrassed to go back; Booker has quit somewhat similarly. Seeing how stupid the other's foolish pride looks, they both learn things about playing roles and 'what really matters.' They also have pretty good sex. Do Blond's Really Have More Fun? (Eroica/Illya) by Barbara T. This definitely is set at a time when Solo and Kurykin are having some problems. The crossover is a fascinating one, and it works. (Anyone needing Erioca explained, just e-mail me. It is a pretty new/small fandom, but growing fast.) Brand New Day (Spock/Blake) by Jane Carnell follows immediately after Blake's pod makes planetfall after Star One. A great Blake, and if not a totally convincing Spock, it's close. Worth it for this scene alone. --Blake "What do you like?" "Anal penetration," "Which way round?" Blake inquired. "I am a telepath. It hardly matters. Whichever way pleases you." Valmont (Valmont/Danceny) by Stew -is a romantic, but very plausible retelling of the movie Dangerous Liaisons, all from Danceny's POV. For any that have read the book, you know it is told solely in letters and diary entries, so this collection of Danceny's diaries is very faithful to the original feel. It is also an amazingly concise retelling, squeezing 2 hours into 6 1/2 pgs. Submissive It Ain't (Pros) is basically just a sex story, but one firmly based in the very different personalities of Bodie and Doyle. Nice idea, beautiful sex, slightly weak ending. Puppeteer (Blake/Avon) by Bryn Lantry is a convoluted but beautiful story where: the action is in the emotions, everyone has multiple motives, and no one truly knows their own minds, much less understands their crewmates. A bit alternate, set sometime in the months before Star One but after Blake has already got the idea in mind, this is a wonderful character study of Blake and Avon, with Vila and Cally in strong supporting roles. Not my favorite type of story -- I think I prefer something a bit more straightforward, but undeniably compelling and well written. The other stories weren't dogs either... The Muncle story, Hanging In Time, by Y.J. is a very disturbing portrayal of the hurt-comfort syndrome in Illya, The Batman story will appeal to anyone who liked "The Dark Knight Returns" With All My Symbiotes -Susan Douglas- has some nice female slash. Why Couldn't It Be Me has gotten a certain amount of press as "Biblical slash." It does have two biblical characters in it, but it is just a vigniette, and has no overt slash content. A few caveats: I disliked the art in the first story, and was indifferent to the rest. I had a hard time reading the 2 cartoon sections; I thought the penning needed to be clearer, and the xerox needed to be darker for those sections. With those few quibbles in mind, I recommend the zine highly. It has an interesting collection of stories set in an amazing variety of universes. The editor is joining a growing number of publishers and putting the word count down -- 80,700, with 40,700 of it in Bryn's B7 story. It is available from Manacles Press here in the U.S. at  [address removed]. There is no U.S. price on the zine; it says to SASE Manacles Press, and I can't remember whether I paid $15 or $18 at the con. From Australia, it is available from the publisher...[address removed] $12 within Aust, $20 posted overseas airmail. (I assume that's $Aus)”

*Sandy passed away in July 2011 of cancer. One of our final joint projects was going  through our emails dating back 20+ years to find fandom history we could share

**Escapade is the longest running slash convention and is still held in Southern California (as of 2021)

*Revelcon is a slash friendly multi-fandom convention held in Texas. As of 2021 it is still running

[op-sheepy]

ok so I'm particularly interested in

Bellamy Law

Law and Bible stuff

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

shichibukai applications

reverse hanahaki disease (?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

if you feel like elaborating on any of these!

This is gonna get long and I actually contemplated posting them separately but would that have been more work? Yeah, that felt like more work so for anyone interested, check under the cut. :D

---------------------------------o

---------------------------------o

Bellamy Law

Hm… This would be an attempt to explore the parallels and contrasts between Bellamy and Law. I've always found it fascinating that the former was a foil to the latter.

They both come from well-off  towns in the North Blue.

Bellamy left because of boredom. Law had no choice because Flevance.

Both ended up seeking Doflamingo  because of  his notoriety as a pirate. Both admired him initially

Doffy favored one over the other though. Bellamy always sought his approval but was never really part of the inner circle Doflamingo cared about.

Law got the dubious privilege of being part of the family despite being absent for so long. Even offered one of the highest seats by Doffy's side for seemingly nothing.

Law had no trouble turning his back on Doffy once he realized the man's nature. Bellamy tried to stick to his principles until the end despite admitting that he new he was wrong.

Bellamy can (and did) quit piracy after his ordeal with Doflamingo. Having the option to live peacefully, perhaps a return to his previous life (the one he considered boring). Law can't do that quite as easily what with his Devil fruit and his reputation.

I thought it would be interesting trying to explore what Bellamy was thinking. Did he hear the Donquixote Pirates talk about their missing 'family'? Did he get to see Doffy be amused at Law's rise as a Supernova while he kept being reminded of his own status? Did Law save Bellamy partially because he also saw what he could have been had Corazon not saved him?

On principle, Bellamy should have hated Trafalgar Law. Does. Bastard even saved him without him wanting it. But there was something about the shadows haunting those eyes and Bellamy started to wonder.

He had heard the family talk about Law before. The child personally taught by Doflamingo, chosen to be his right hand. Never was he compared to the man because Law was just obviously better. Smarter. Stronger. Bellamy was ever just an uncouth thug.

He was allowed to 'borrow' Doflamingo's symbol while Law had an empty seat waiting for his return–a seat Bellamy had wanted enough to risk everything for.

Maybe he had resented, Trafalgar Law for carelessly rejecting the things he had that Bellamy had always desired. In the end too, Trafalgar Law did prove to be better. He'd done as a child what Bellamy had trouble doing even as he was now.

But having been given the chance to observe the other man as they all recovered, he wondered, perhaps for the first time, whether despite Law being better than Bellamy, Bellamy had had it better–barring the poor life choices.

---------------------------------o

---------------------------------o

Law and Bible stuff

This is just me wanting to know how many biblical parallels and themes I can draw from Law, the Donquixote brothers, the characters associated with them, and his backstory. Honestly not sure whether this would become a fic and in what style or I'm gonna give up and just make it a post.

Not gonna elaborate on them much but here are the ideas in more bullet points (yay):

Law gets familiar with all four horsemen of the apocalypse: conquest, war, famine, and death. He even survives them.

Law is like the son in the parable of the prodigal son to the Donquixote pirates. Except the themes are inverted.

Doflamingo and Rocinante -> Cain and Abel

Ope Ope no Mi -> Granting eternal life by sacrificing one's own life

Gods descending or living among humans. Also, Homing and his family being prosecuted for other people's sins.

That scene where they were hanged by their arms outstretched looks like a crucifixion. Also, Rocinante was on the right while Doflamingo was on the left. Similar to how the penitent thief was on the right and the unrepentant one to the left.

Flevance being considered a paradise with walls/fences/gates and somewhere Law cannot return to.

In the panel where the Donquixote pirates are seated at the table, there were thirteen of them with Doffy at the center. Same as The Last Supper

There are a lot more of these (David and Goliath, Solomon, Jonah, Job, etc.) but I kinda lost the notes and some are more visual so I can't really explain it too well. This would is a drabble series to emphasize or highlight the parallels so no proper snippet for this one.

---------------------------------o

---------------------------------o

Law is a substitute kindergarten teacher

Originally an idea to get around most of the Heart Pirates being nameless but evolved to include other characters as kids. Chopper is a kindergarten teacher and he convinces Law to take over his class for a week because somehow Law has the qualifications to and free time. Naturally, he wasn't able to say no.

Unfortunately, despite not being terrible at handling children, Chopper's class is filled with menaces. Also, despite not being terrible, Law can still be awkward so...

"Mr. Trofao–fargar—"

"Trafalgar."

The kid—which one was this one again? Shit, he should really get them name plates or something—scrunched up his face and tried harder, "Tar-pal—"

"Law. Just call me Law."

"Mr. Low"—eh, close enough—"can I go to the bathroom?" Wide imploring eyes stared up at him.

"Sure, go ahead." Law gestured towards the exit of the classroom with his head.

The kid just stared expectantly at him and he tried to suppress the need to narrow his eyes.

"Is there… anything else?"

"Mr. Chopper always comes with me to hold my hand."

Really?

"Mr. Chopper isn't here. You should practice doing it on your own now." He said after a deep inhale.

"But the monsters might get me…"

"No, they won't."

"You don't know that."

"I do." Before the kid could open his mouth again to argue, he added, "Besides, children taste terrible so you're safe."

The kid looked stricken and took a step back from him. Uh oh. Glistening eyes, wobbling lower lip… "Alright! I'll go with you." The kid did not look reassured. In fact he looked like going alone with Law was the last thing he wanted to do. Guess, he kinda implied that he ate children didn't he? Oops.

Well, the kid needs to go and he's not going to be cleaning up after him if he wets himself.

Law glanced at the rest of the children. It was Arts and Craft time and they seemed preoccupied enough. Still, Law doubted Chopper ever left these kids alone–already he could see some of them glancing up at him, waiting for him to leave no doubt to cause trouble. That Monkey kid in particular looked extremely suspicious.

He stood up from his crouch and clapped twice to get everyone's attention.

"Alright. Fall in line. Single file."

There was some grumbling and questioning directed at him. "What's going on?"

Law shrugged. "You're all going to the bathroom."

---------------------------------o

---------------------------------o

Shichibukai Application Forms

Crackfic where the World Government and relevant parties review various Shichbukai Applications. Most submitted by the pirates applying themselves, some produced by their own staff. They discuss and debate. As well as judge pirate resumes.

She scanned the document. Terrible format, really. If you fail to impress within the first page, you've failed entirely. There just wasn't anyone promising enough in this batch of applications or any of the other ones before. The last one had been that clown. "Apprentice to the Pirate King," was a pretty hefty credential.

"Oh, how about this one? Three years experience pillaging, and they even listed all the towns they looted." One of the newly transferred administrative staff said.

"None of these are worth considering at all. You know, when Mihawk was asked to submit his application, he hadn't bothered with all of this. He just sent us a card with his name on it and the title "World's Strongest Swordsman," underneath."

The staff perked up. "Oh, there was an application like that." There was scramble and some shuffling before a plain white card was produced. "Here."

"'From Trafalgar Law'. What does this even mean?"

"Well, it did come with a big box..."

---------------------------------o

---------------------------------o

Reverse Hanahaki Disease

(?? do u spit out flowers when your nemesis walks by?)

Haha. At first it was going to be that way (because it is hilarious) but the inflicted would probably choke to death too soon. Or if both enemies had it, they'd end up just coughing flowers at each other until they stopped being enemies.

The version I ended up going with was that this variant of Hanahaki, instead of afflicting those with unrequited love, affected those in denial instead. The reverse part comes from the original idea that this would usually happen if you somehow fell in love with your nemesis (someone you originally hated). So it's not the thought that the other person can't love you, it's that you can't accept that you love that other person. You get cured by confessing to the person sincerely.

This is actually another KidLaw (surprise!). And the flower coughed up directly represents the person they're in love with (I went with Oda's flower representation for them because I found it funny for plot)

So the idea is that, you get sick but you don't automatically know (maybe) who it is because that's part of being in denial. Kid and Law have many enemies after all. In this story they both get it though not exactly at the same time and not known to the other.

He survived Amber Lead Syndrome only to be killed off by a stupid flower disease that apparently knows more about his own feelings than he does.

He glared at the petals. Tulips. Red.

An image of a cocky grin and a shock of red hair flashed through his mind and—nope. That's not right.

He coughed harder, tears stinging his eyes with the effort. More flowers. Now he has enough for a bouquet.

Alright, he was a doctor. He could do this. Differential time.

First, which variant does he have. He doesn't particularly feel unloved or hopeless. There wasn't anyone he wanted in particular to love him. Ok, nothing. It was maybe safe to say he had that other variant.

Which was stupid because Law had many enemies and he hated all of them.

And cue the racking coughs. More red. He was very familiar with that particular shade.

New theory. This was a new variant that somehow makes you sick when you think of the person you hated the most.

Yes, that had to be it. He thought as he all but collapsed on the floor from the sudden paroxysm.

I knew this was gonna get long. :) Oh well...

Thank you for playing. :D

[nershalomva]

More Ner Shalom Trivia

Round One: Biblical Characters

1.     Who was the one daughter of Jacob (that we know of)?

2.     Which prophet crowned and anointed both Kings Saul and David?

3.     Which Book from the Hebrew Prophets only has one chapter?

4.     Which Biblical King of Israel is credited with writing Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Songs, even though he almost definitely did not write any of those?

5.     Who granted the exiled Jews the right to return to the Holy Land under the leadership of Ezra?

6.     Who was the secret Jewish queen of Persia?

7.     Who were the first women in the Bible to inherit land?

8.     Who led the Israelites into the land of Israel after the 40 years in the wilderness?

9.     Which High Priest has displays classic middle child syndrome throughout the Torah?

10. Who does God speak to “out of the whirlwind”?

 Round Two: Fantasy and SciFi

11. Captain James Kirk is the most famous Captain of the USS Enterprise in Star Trek – but who had the job before him in the TV series?

12. How old was Yoda when he died in Return of the Jedi?

13. What is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?

14. What does Jon Snow’s surname signify in Game of Thrones?

15. Which character from the Lord of the Rings trilogy is a reference to King David?

16. What do the characters of Narnia call the human girls, Lucy and Susan?

17. Name the Four Hogwarts Houses.

18. Name as many actors as you can who have played the Doctor since the 2005 reboot of Doctor Who.

19. What was the original name of the Philip K. Dick novel that Blade Runner is based on?

20. Who is sometimes credited with originated modern sci fi, as well as being the mother of horror literature?

 Round Three: Sports

21. Who was the first president to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Major League Baseball game?

22. Who was the first football player to ever rush for 1000 yards in a single season?

23. Who was the first openly gay football player to be drafted in the NFL, and which team drafted him?

24. What year did baseball players go on strike, resulting to no World Series?

25. What country won the first ever World Cup in 1930?

26. Which college basketball team did Sue Bird play for before leading the US Olympic Women’s Basketball team and the Seattle Storm to victory, both in 2004?

27. Who became a Jewish folk hero for defeating German Max Schmeling in the Heavy Weight Championship in 1933?

28. This Jewish player for the Cleveland Indians won the American League MVP award in 1953.

29. This Jewish player for the Milwaukee Brewers won the 2007 National League Rookie of the Year.

30. What was Sandy Koufax’s surname for the first nine years of his life?

[poorreputation]

SPN 1X01 Pilot Retrospective Meta

Tag list for old episodes meta! (let me know if you wanna be tagged):

@emblue-sparks @metafest @verobatto-angelxhunter @evvvissticante @dea-stiel @sudo-apt-get-destiel @wildligia (tumbler’s not letting me tag you, sorry)

Pre re-watch notes/things to touch on:

Comparing the Woman in White to John, Sam and Mary/hindsight notes.

S1 motivations vs. S14/15 endgame.

Episode Notes:

Written by: Eric Kripke

Directed by: David Nutter

A long post, so I will put it behind the cut.

Lawrence, Kansas

22 years ago

We begin our tale with Mary bringing Dean into Sam's nursery to say goodnight. John enters the room, and in a nice bit of short-hand, he's wearing a USMC (United States Marine Corps) shirt, showing John was a soldier.

There's a shot of Mary and John in a picture. We already know they're married, so why is it here?

Mary thinks it's John in the nursery, only to find him asleep in the living room in front of the TV. (again, a connection to John's past, he's fallen asleep watching a war movie)

Something that'll become a continuity issue, later in the show: Mary's many years of experience being a Hunter, only to not recognize the flickering of lights as a sign of trouble.

Of course, Mary's wearing a white gown, (white is usually seen as a pure color/ of purity, but in this instance a connection to the Woman in White/see Jess later)

Mary's dead, and everyone involved is scarred for life.

The look on John's face, as we finish the Lawrence sequence, is that of a broken man, who's seen something that will eat away at his mind.

Stanford University Present Day (2005)

Okay, the first image we see of Jess is her in a nurse's costume, white with red trimming. Jess also has medium length curly blond hair. Guys, she looks like Mary, especially in Mary's death scene (white gown, covered in blood). 

We focus in on the picture of Mary and John for visual shorthand, confirming this is a grown-up Sam.

We establish Sam is "scary" smart, has aspirations of becoming a lawyer, and has a job interview on Monday.

Jess: "Knock 'em dead on Monday." laying it on thick, Kripke.

Sam: "What would I do without you?"

Jess: "Crash and burn."

*smooch*

Damn you, Kripke.

Night scene, and holy shit, why do Sam and Jess have so many plants? Why doesn't future Sam have plants in the bunker, you know, something low maintenance?

Dean, why the fuck can't you use the door? Or a phone?

From the get-go, Dean's cocky, suffers from eldest sibling syndrome, and is a shameless horn-dog.

Sam: "He's on a Miller time shift." See, when I first watched the pilot, years ago, I didn't realize this was Sam implying John was a drunk. These things would just fly over my head.

Sam wants to make a point of including Jess in the conversation, of being honest. And yet, the moment Dean says John is on a hunt and hasn't returned, that honesty goes right out the window. More on that later.

Sam and Dean's exposition dump in the hallway, a part of me feels it's an odd way to catch the audience up to speed, while the other part of me knows this is how families argue when they spend most of their time biting their tongues. Sam especially seems the type to mull over his thoughts, storing away comebacks for the perfect moment when they'll be most effective (like later in the episode). Also, it's been years since the brothers have seen each other (we're told later it's been at least 2 years since Dean bothered Sam), they're so icy towards one another.

Sam: "You think Mom would've wanted this for us?" we'd find this out later in S4, but, no. Funny enough, maybe if Mary shared her knowledge of Hunting, something more could've been done (foreshadowing).

Dean: "What're you gonna do? Just live some normal, apple pie life?" Dean, if you'd only taken your own advice, we could've avoided S6.

Sam, paraphrasing John: "If you're gonna go, stay gone." Well, that's only very emotionally manipulative.It does, however, remind me of the U.S. military’s views on those dishonorably discharged, and since John raised them as "warriors", it's not a stretch to think, in a time of crisis, John treated his sons as soldiers.

Dean: "I can't do this alone."

Sam: "Yes, you can."

Dean: "Yeah, well, I don't want to."

This exchange, this vulnerability from Dean, after his initial introduction of being a cocky asshole who hits on his brother's girlfriend, shows just how much of a facade Dean's attitude is. In the end, he's a kid scared of losing his Dad.

It's this vulnerability that convinces Sam to listen.

Come the fuck on, "I can never go home." after we establish Sam left John and Dean, left Hunting behind, and was told to never come back (home). KRIPKE. YOU'RE *not* SUBTLE.

2 years, Dean says, since they last talked. Either Sam entered college late, (20 rather than 18) or Sam and Dean kept in touch even after Sam and John's blow-out fight.

Again, Jess pries for more info, and Sam changes the subject. Nope, that’s not gonna bite him in the ass, at all.

Jericho, California

(insert biblical/wrestling reference here)

We meet monster fodder, I mean, some random dude, who tells his girlfriend Amy over the phone he can't see her that night. He slows down to a stop and picks up the Woman in White.

Anyway, another example of a young woman with curly, medium length hair in a white gown/dress. I mean, her house even looks a bit like John and Mary's old place.

We get a brief, blurry shot of the Woman in White and her kids. Sorry, but if you're familiar with the legend of her/La Llorona, it's easy to see where this is going.

Oh, and whatshisface is dead.

Chips and soda. Breakfast of champions.

Sam's being a real sassy bitch about how Dean and John get their funds. I get it, world-building for the audience, bit it shows just how passive aggressive Sam is in these early seasons; Dean's clearly playing moderator between Sam and an absent John.

Sam: "Black Sabbath, Motorhead, Metalica? It's the greatest hits of mullet rock." Sam, it's not Dean's fault you have poor taste. Shut your cakehole.

Sam: "Sammy's a chubby 12 year old." or, it's what a big brother says to his infant sibling to calm him down, oh wait.

Monster bait's name is Troy. Yeah, I don't care.

Dean sassing the officer and Sam stomping Dean's foot. Yep, they're brothers. This interaction is where their chemistry really starts to shine through.

Amy and her friend are peak mid-2000's goths/emos, good lord.

Dean's "I told you so" smart-ass look as the friend shares the rumors in town, he's such an older sibling.

They... they never tell Amy what happened to her asshole boyfriend, huh? Well. Sucks for Amy.

Researching on a public library computer, fucking hell. (nothing wrong with that, I’ve worked in a public library, but they’re doing super-secret Hunter’s stuff in such a public place)

Have it paused on a photo of Constance Welch, the Woman in White, and the article mentions her husband's exact line of work; associate manager who works the graveyard shift at Frontier auto salvage. Gives me shades of Bobby, who also lost his wife under tragic circumstances.

A mother leaves her child unattended, comes back to check on them, tragedy strikes. Or, so the story goes.

Dean confronts Sam about living a life of willful ignorance, and even asks if Jess knows the truth. Sam makes it clear she doesn't and he intends it to stay that way, as Dean sarcastically quips, "That's healthy".

Really, the more I think about it, the more S6 feels like the inverse of S1; Dean tries to live a normal life, Sam comes stomping in to rain on his parade. Lisa is kept largely in the dark about Dean's past, and gets hurt because of it.

Dean: "You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but sooner or later, you're gonna have to face up to who you are."

Sam: "And who's that?"

Dean: "One of us."

Sam: "No. I'm not like you. This is not going to be my life."

Sam thinks Dean's just talking about Hunting, but Dean means more than that, he means family. One of us, Dad and me, a Hunter and a Winchester.

Sam: "Mom's not coming back." and so on about how he doesn’t even remember Mary, doesn’t share John’s obsession. 

Dean: "No chick flick moments." Dean, dude, bro, you're the one who started this by breaking into Sam's place like a dramatic bitch, and then proceeded to give life/relationship advice. It's already a chick flick.

John's room being covered head-to-toe in case notes, only to come to the obvious conclusion it's the Woman in White. But, Sam said, because of the salt line, John was worried. Now, as far as I can remember, John was never a target of this spirit, so, I think he was paranoid about Yellow Eyes. After all, John had notes on devils/demons up, too, so maybe. I could be wrong.

There's something amusing about Sam and Dean's first duo Hunt, one without John, includes one of them getting arrested. Just, how rare that happens in the rest of the show, compared to how many laws they break daily.

Sam talks to Joseph Welch, who seems to wear the same clothes as Bobby. Also, Sam looks like a giant standing next to him.

Joseph lies to Sam's face about his and Constance's marriage, and it takes Sam a moment to work up the nerve to call him out on it. Or, it's Sam losing his temper. They're dealing with a murderous ghost, after all, and this guy wants to hide the truth.

Sam's done with lying witnesses, and now he's making fake calls to the cops. Gloves are OFF.

So, it's revealed John's purposefully leaving Sam and Dean clues, the journal, and the coordinates, but won't outright tell the truth.

Sam: "I'm not unfaithful. I've never been." See, Sam, that's only in the cheating department. You are, however, keeping Jess in the dark about dangerous stuff. Can any relationship with such big lies every be a faithful one?

Again, the imagery of the flickering lights. A standard in the show later for when a ghost's around, but considering all the visual parallels between the Woman in White and Mary, I think it's intentional.

That CGI of the ghosts vanishing was kinda shit, though. So is the sound of water swirling down a drain, I'm now just thinking of a toilet.

Dean: "I'll take you home." and there, in an episode where the ghost is afraid to go home and face the consequences of their actions, Sam too must go back to Jess.

Sam discovering Jess' body on the ceiling, as the room's engulfed in flames, never fails to give me chills. Hot damn.

Post Episode Notes:

While the pilot is a treasure trove of world building, plotting of character arcs, and chemistry between Jared and Jensen, it still doesn't make up for the fact it's bookended with 2 women getting fridged. Mary and Jess don't get to be characters, only fuel for man-pain, and argue with me all you want, but Mary's send-off in S14 is far superior to what she got in the pilot.

I remember seeing Kripke discuss how many drafts they went through while writing the pilot, and it feels like that at quite a few points. Like maybe the sheriff was to get more time, or Troy's father, who I believe is a cop, would've been more vital to the plot. And Amy, who'll spend who knows how many weeks and months putting up missing person posters for Troy.

I believe Kripke also said they'd considered killing John at the end, rather than Jess. I think, and this is pure speculation, the more they went into the lore for the Woman in White, the more they knew Jess had to die. I don't like it, wish they could've done it different, but it fits the story they wanted to tell.

The Woman in White, John, Mary and Sam, in hindsight

It's a retcon from S4, but if Mary was honest with John about her past as a Hunter, maybe they'd have a better chance with fighting Azazel. It's tragically paralleled to Sam not telling Jess about his own past, which may have prevented her death. And while you could say Heaven and Hell would still have their way, and shape Sam and Dean the way they want to, I'd like to think, given the chance, free will could prevail, And, look at how often keeping secrets is framed as one of the worst things the characters could do to each other?

Additionally, if John had been honest with Sam and Dean about what he wanted them to do, and what kind of danger they were really in, maybe Sam wouldn't have left Jess alone.

Thank you for reading this monstrosity of a meta, I hope you enjoyed/found it interesting!

[confrontingbabble-on]

“It will surprise some readers to learn that biblical scholars debate whether the ancient Israelites and the Hebrew Bible they produced were monotheistic.

The Hebrew Bible provides ample evidence that many Israelites believed in the existence of multiple deities. This is the case for polytheistic Israelites whom biblical prophets criticize for worshiping other gods...even some authors of the biblical texts seem polytheistic.

The Hebrew Bible refers to many heavenly creatures, calling them “gods” (Gen 6:2; Ps 29:1, Ps 82:6, Ps 86:8, Ps 89:7; Job 1:6), “angels” (Num 20:16; 2Sam 24:16; 1Kgs 13:18; Zech 1:11-12; Ps 78:49; Job 33:23), and “the assembly of holy ones” (Ps 89:5).

If we adopt the common definition of monotheism as the belief that no deities exist other than the one God, then the Hebrew Bible is not a monotheistic work.

A theology in which no one deity has ultimate power over all aspects of the universe is polytheistic (even if that theology knows only one deity); a theology in which one deity has supreme power is monotheistic (even if it knows other heavenly beings).

Many Canaanite, Mesopotamian, and Greek texts narrate conflicts in which a high god is seriously threatened or overthrown. To be sure, biblical texts describe a conflict between Yhwh and the Sea (Isa 27:1, Isa 51:9-11; Hab 3:8; Ps 74:13-15, Ps 89:6-14; and Job 26:5-13).

Only in one area can Yhwh be thwarted: by human free will. This exception results from Yhwh’s own decision to create beings with the ability to choose for good and for ill. This single limitation is self-imposed, whereas the limitations on gods in polytheistic texts often result from forces beyond themselves.*

Some interpreters understand Ps 82 to suggest that Yhwh became king of the universe at a particular moment, and Gen 6:1-4 could imply that Yhwh was genuinely worried by potential adversaries. In Gen 3:22, Yhwh seems anxious that humans might claim divine power for themselves, which differs, however, from the power Yhwh voluntarily cedes to humans. What modern scholarship shows most of all, however, is that the question of monotheism is much more complex, and much more interesting, than most people suppose.”

Benjamin Sommer is professor of Bible at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York.

From...https://www.bibleodyssey.org/en/people/related-articles/monotheism-in-the-hebrew-bible

* Consider...”The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.” Judges 1:19 (These religious people claim they could not carry out the genocide they claim their god wanted the people to carry out...because of their intended victim’s technological advantage...)

And...”Jesus said, 'With God NOT all things are possible...in particular...regrowing missing limbs**” (Matthew 19:26 corrected)

** “It's not like I am revealing some hidden truth here. The funny thing about amputees is that this evidence is obvious to everyone. We have all seen that God ignores the prayers of amputees. This evidence has been plainly visible for centuries. Amputees are not the only ones either. For example: If someone severs their spinal cord in an accident, that person is paralyzed for life. No amount of prayer is going to help. If someone is born with a congenital defect like a cleft palate, God will not repair it through prayer. Surgery is the only option. A genetic disease like Down Syndrome is the same way -- no amount of prayer is going to fix the problem.

Or what about this. What if we get down on our knees and pray to God in this way: Dear God, almighty, all-powerful, all-loving creator of the universe, we pray to you to cure every case of cancer on this planet tonight. We pray in faith, knowing you will bless us as you describe in Matthew 7:7, Matthew 17:20, Matthew 21:21, Mark 11:24, John 14:12-14, Matthew 18:19 and James 5:15-16. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

We pray sincerely, knowing that when God answers this completely heartfelt, unselfish, non-materialistic prayer, it will glorify God and help millions of people in remarkable ways. Will anything happen? Of course not. If prayers like this worked, Christians would have prayed every disease on the planet into extinction centuries ago. But if God were to exist, why would he ignore such a worthy prayer?”

https://whywontgodhealamputees.com/god5.htm

[missrkl]

Descendants acts 2

Chapter Eight

Rachel was in a state of euphoria. There was very rare moments in Rachel’s life where she was in a state of euphoria, or just happiness. Think of that perfect day, where everything goes perfectly, according to plan, or just where nothing goes wrong. Where everything you touch has turned into a blessing. Where every decision you make is so anointed by the presence of God that you’re in the perfect place at the perfect time. Where every thought is happy and joyful. Where everyone is happy. Somehow similar to Lego Movie where they sing ‘everything is awesome!’ Where everything is going according to the very detailed instructions of the handbook. Where nothing could bring you down. This is the one time Rachel becomes an extrovert. Very social, full of fun and energy. Where everyone wants to be around her because she’s full of fun and light and happiness. Despite their being a pandemic, it is the first lockdown, that still can include visits in the garden. Rachel and her family can have at least six people over, including themselves, so that makes three guests. They have dads bestfriend and her cousin fireman and his girlfriend. Rachel is happy. Euphoric in fact. She’s bouncing around between the different groups and chatting in on everyone. Checking in on everyone and eating the food. Clearly today was a good day, a very blessed day and since it was and very rare for Rachel, Rachel goes full on out on such days. Rachel eats her food with delight, she makes conversation with euphoric laughter and joy, her relationship with God is full on fire and she feels like she’s reached that Holy Spirit high, she’s hit her peak moment in their relationship, and most likely she will be going on another spiritual and physical journey tomorrow. Which means the next day could be an utter disasterous day, which is why now Rachel’s main mission is to enjoy this day to the full.

David and Rachel have exchanged numbers after a few months and they do send text messages. They haven’t talked on the phone yet. Rachel wasn’t ready for that yet, because hearing his voice then would make it more real. Rachel felt like playing her episodes game. So she sat in the garden as it was a sunny day with blue sky and white fluffy clouds after the people had left. The clouds looked like like cotton candy. Perfection. Rachel sat in the garden and opened her episodes app https://apps.apple.com/gb/app/episode-choose-your-story/id656971078 and decided to play this game called The Clumsy Supergirl and it’s a story based on a clumsy girl who got kissed by a guy who ended up transferring his super powers to her. She was super clumsy. These stories is where you play the main character and you make choices end the story is based on what choices you make. Rachel was really enjoying the episodes and was getting far into the story when there seemed to be a twist in the story. There seemed to be this new mystery guy who seemed to be the bad guy. Rachel noticed herself making funny choices. She made the choices to play like the dumb pretty girl because she wanted the super bad guy to like her! That somehow turned her on. She wanted him to like her, that somehow she could turn his heart around right near the end, as if she could see that far into the story. Rachel realised this was a dangerous character trait of her own real life decision. She knew that she felt like that in real life as well. The bad guy was supremely bad and wanted to either kill her or kidnap her for her superpowers or because she meant something to the boyfriend, the guy who kissed her and had transferred his powers to her. Rachel kept thinking he couldn’t be that bad right, but she could be completely wrong as well. Rachel stopped mid-story and decided to reflect. Clearly this discovery about her own passionate desires was not healthy. Clearly she was into the bad guy. What was it that turned her on? The danger? The possibility that he could be really mean and hurt her? She wasn’t entirely sure. She knew he was a bad character and that he had wanted to do bad things to her, so why make the choice to like him and make things easy for him? Was this the whole bad guy syndrome that so many women were into these days? Especially the novel readers and novel writers. Like heathcliffe in Wuthering Heights. The victim guy, turned bad, with a broken heart that made him bad to everyone. Yet every woman on planet earth was smitten by this ghastly character. Maybe it was part of the fall, since the beginning of time, with Eve making that bad decision of eating the forbidden fruit. Or maybe it was some sort of spell that satan himself putting on women of this day, because he was a fallen bad broken-hearted depressed creature. This was not good. Rachel decided to not finish the story just yet and decided to scroll through social media, post a few selfies here and there, what fun.

Rachel soon realised within herself that the whole sexual tension of liking the bad guy must come from some sort of movie or maybe even the pornographic industry, the whole bondage thing. According to the data that was like 1% or 2% of the population, but movies and crude novels and story books also played their parts in that. Rachel texted David, she really wanted something more biblical to contemplate than this worldly character traits of women and maybe even some men in this day and age. David agreed to meet in the VR world and when Rachel had cleaned up it was already early evening. Still in her hyper mood Rachel logged on and met David. They went to the market and Rachel found some bread of life and the cup of blood. These were to be used to bring Jesus, bring his presence into your midst. Rachel and David went to the East side of the game and there was this dark castle, the whole area surrounding the castle was also dark. Everything was dark and grey. They walked slowly into the castle, everywhere was empty and desolate, like a barren land. They found the main chamber room was filled with gold and rubies and citizens, but they were sleeping. Similar to sleeping beauty, everyone sleeping like a spell had been cast or something. They needed a way to wake them up, but how? They tried to wake them up by making loud sounds, nothing. They opened the curtains and turned on the lights and candles but that didn’t help. They tried tickling the citizens but they didn’t wake up. Just as David and Rachel was about to give up, Rachel decided to use bread and cup of blood. She shared this with David and they performed the ritual rights also known as the body and the blood, the holy communion to bring the presence of Jesus, to remember Jesus, ‘Do this in remembrance of me,’ so they did. As the ritual ended, Jesus came with a holy light that was completely different to sunlight, brighter than the sunlight, hotter even than the sunlight, whiter than white. This light began to expel the darkness and soon the citizens of Began waking up. Jesus was still present when the citizens woke up, so they shared the gospel to them and saved them and took them to the temple of the lord.

After this David and Rachel hung out in the flower fields and enjoyed the nice scenery, especially since they couldn’t do this in person. Rachel discussed with David about the whole women of this day loving bad men despite knowing they were bad. The whole nostalgia regarding them. Rachel mentioned Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, the phenomenon of his character especially amongst the community of Jane Austen Novel Readers. According to psychologists the whole boldness and masculinity of these men were a total turn on. Even the entitlement attitude was widely accepted by these particular women, more so during their red month. David just said that women were indeed confusing, they want a good man and yet choose the bad man and then cry and complain when the bad man hurts her, as if she couldn’t believe it, as if it was such a surprise. David said to Rachel that women were indeed confusing, saying they want one thing but when they get it they either change their mind or go for another. Rachel couldn’t explain it other than it being supernatural, a spirit of lust, Satan drawing all the women to himself, women that he pretends to love but really hates hence they always get hurt. Soon they decided to log off and go to bed.

Rachel logged out. Very interesting conversation with David today. David saying women were confusing? How were they confusing? The examples he did give seemed like these women were not normal, she had a hard time trying to defend her gender, or at least try to make him see them in a non-confusing light, or seem less crazy. Rachel didn’t believe she did too good a job at that. Plus each women was unique, you couldn’t generalise all. Rachel then thought of Fabio. He was definitely a bad boy type. One she knew she could never have, he had his own likes and she wasn’t it. His rejection just made her desire or latch onto him more. That definitely made sense. He even looked it, according to all those dark romantic novels, like Wuthering heights, like Heath cliff, tall dark and handsome and when he got rich and with a bad attitude that was that. He did wear a leather jacket when she had first met him and several times after that. She did remember getting frightened of him once though, she was walking out of the church and he was there on the steps and was wearing this tight black T-shirt and his muscles was showing, very big muscles. She could not believe it. He always wore loose clothing, not hugging clothing, and to realise he wasn’t chubby or chunky, but more muscly was surprising. Her eyes had bulged out of her head as she had walked past. She had wanted to like look properly but she couldn’t, she had to pretend she wasn’t interested, or at least pretend she had some important meeting to go to. She had walked past pretty fast and did look back, she wasn’t planning on looking back, but she couldn’t fight it. Clearly supernatural. Right? Rachel wasn’t sure, but that was the only explanation. The bible did say the real world was the unseen and the real enemy was unseen. Rachel lay in her bed and drifted off to sleep. Today was a good day. When she was hyper she felt more accomplished, she could do more, be more, act more, and enjoy more. Praise God for today indeed.

[coupsyboopsy]

BANGTAN THEORY TIME

I have been stewing this over for a couple days now. J-Hope and Jimin’s storylines in this hell that BigHit is putting ARMYs through is actually going to be pretty impactful. So I’m going to share my thoughts on these two. The others are to come.

I encourage you to read it all but there will be a tl;dr/ at the bottom. 

Of course, there are trigger warnings with this topic: suicide, mental illness, terribly antiquated words

First of all, I do not think that this is going to be a bunch of love stories. Maybe a few of them will be (my prediction is probably Yoongi and Jeongguk; I will explain later). J-Hope’s and Jimin’s is not a love story. If it is, I’ll be real pissed.

But first...

J-Hope’s character, as we all know, has been diagnosed with Munchausen Syndrome. Here is the wiki page about it that talks about the signs, symptoms, history, etc.

In his short, he was prescribed a placebo as well. The form that the presumed-doctor (the short was creepy, okay) said that his thought process was “illogical, retarded” and that his mood was “ anxious and... irritable.” These are symptoms of emotional distress, of mental illness, but some of the words aren’t clinical and are judgmental. I feel like the doctor represents not only medical attention but society as a whole. Mental illness isn’t taken seriously in Korea (Here is an interview with actor Gong Yoo talking about his depression; notice how the interview negates everything with a simple, frustrating comment—start about 28 minutes in). The fact that the doctor is using words like “retarded” is shocking because it is an antiquated term in the medical field, and every country relies on the same research and developing terminology. Hobi’s doctor is a reflection of society.

Jimin is in the same place as J-Hope in both Run (the start of the pillow fight in the white room) and in his short. Jimin has been open about some of the things he struggles with. Struggling with image and weight can lead to depression, etc. The bathroom/bathtub in INU seems to be a breaking point in Jimin’s character. I think that if any of the plot lines are along the lines of suicide attempts, it would be Jimin’s (especially as he remains wet in the prologue video and Young Forever). I think it was a failed attempt and he was institutionalized.

In his short, it’s very obvious that he’s in the same area as J-Hope (the picture, the box, and the box’s shadow). His room is dark, there is an empty bed, I think that represents the feeling of being alone and self-isolation that comes with depression and suicidal ideations even if there is someone there. Maybe J-Hope’s character’s case worsened and he was taken away. The assessment that Jimin is going through is with an automated hand, not a doctor. I think this is another representation of society, but in the “acceptable” professions (doctors, lawyers, engineers, etc.). The thing that is supposed to represent Jimin’s doctor, help, support is mechanical. Its not real. Doctors are supposed to help but there is such a stigma with mental illness in Korea (and society in general) that nothing seems authentic when getting help anymore. 

The lyrics for “Caught in a Lie” is also very striking, and we all know that the songs are pretty personal to the boys. Reading the translation and the images from the short are all kind of Biblical in a way (the apple in the video and “don’t be a pray, be smooth like a snake; there are more). A lot of times, mental illness is seen is a “punishment” from God for something. You feel depressed, you must have sinned and not asked for forgiveness. This kind of internal shame is rife. I think that maybe the lyrics might be this exploration out of religious shame and into understanding of yourself and the biology of how a depressed brain works. The chorus of “Caught in a Lie” goes”

Caught in a lie find me when I was pure I cannot be free from this lie give me back my smile caught in a lie pull me from this hell save me I’m being punished

I know that when I was in high school and I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, rebellion, etc., I was told that I wasn’t “on track with God” and that I just need to get back to praying, reading my Bible, etc. to “fix” my problems. I think that’s why Jimin’s solo is my favorite because the lyrics are exactly how I felt when I was younger. I think that the mechanical hand might also be a representation of religion on society as well, how it appears to be helpful but it’s restricting and keeps you bound to one place. Jimin is stuck in the same place, the same room, the same walls, and he’s not free. It’s taking away his innocence. 

THOSE ARE MY THOUGHTS OKAY SO NOW TO THE GOOD STUFF

Thus begins J-Hope’s and Jimin’s stories coming together. WOW IT TOOK FOR FUCKING EVER. FORGIVE ME. 

I think that their characters were institutionalized together. They became friends because they suffered similar ailments and you deal with trauma best (Jimin’s trauma is unknown beyond his possible suicide attempt, but issues that prompted his mental state to get to that point is unknown). They healed together and found their own paths outside of the institution. I think that if there is a love plot here, it would be between them. And deep friendship can be true love without the societal idea of what “true love” is. I think that the girl was with them and she helped them heal, as they did for her. 

In the first highlight reel, she gives J-Hope a cake for his birthday, but he says it’s not. I think that she’s celebrating the day he was released from the hospital, the day that this institution deemed him healthy enough to go into society, function well without the need for constant “medical care” to feed his mental illness/state. That’s something to celebrate. 

Note that they all three seemed to have found solace with dance. I think that’s important, I just don’t know how. 

NOW FOR THE BIG ONE: The Flashback™

J-Hope seems to be triggered by closing his eyes. Makes sense. But don’t be angry at his mom for leaving him like that. One, maybe she came back. I doubt it because my idea is that two, she’s a single mom. 

Single moms/unwed moms in Korea are horribly stigmatized. They are actively encouraged to give up their children. These women have hard time finding and keeping jobs because the stigma of a single mother is that bad. 

Here is a National Public Radio article where a Korean woman was adopted at the age of 4 with her twin to an American couple. Years later, when she went to find her mom in Korea, she found out that her grandmother had forged documentation and adopted her granddaughters out while their mother was at work without their mother knowing. That is how bad the stigma is. It’s getting better these days, but it’s still a big deal.

J-Hope’s character’s mom couldn’t provide for him because she was single. “Mama” is J-Hope’s thank you to his mom for sacrificing so much for him and his dream despite everything. His character’s mom did the same thing but in a way that protected him and would give him a chance at life. 

Should she have left him like that? No. But there are so many kids that lose parents because they are homeless and can’t give their kids life, so they leave them at comfortable, fun places like that. In the book “Holes,” Zero’s mom left him at a park that they visited often. It’s a sad and far-more common occurrence than people realize, I think, for parents to sacrifice the love they have for their children in hopes that they have a better life (be it leaving them at a park or signing away their parental rights to a foster family, as what happened with my little brothers). 

J-Hope’s mom made so many sacrifices for his dream. His character’s mom made the sacrifice so that he could have life. The message, I think, is to show that youth and children are a lot more resilient than they get credit for because Hobi did live and make something of himself despite it all. Youth has more strength than anything, I think, and young people can overcome so much... especially together, especially when you find people who understand and accept you for everything you are, mental illnesses included. Healing comes with community. 

Youth comes strength. 

TL;DR/ J-Hope and Jimin were hospitalized together for their mental illnesses. The girl was there too. They helped each other heal with friendship and dance. It is not a love story. It’s a friendship story. Single moms need more support and love in Korea. Mental illness needs more support in Korea and around the world tbh. Society sucks. Youth is strong. 

[agentnico]

Berlin Syndrome (2017) Review

Wasn’t originally planning to see this film. Then me and my friend one day were very bored, so we went and saw it. Was pleasantly surprised.

Plot: A passionate holiday romance leads to an obsessive relationship, when an Australian photojournalist wakes one morning in a Berlin apartment and is unable to leave.

A tale of kidnapping, where a woman falls for this mysterious guy, follows him into his apartment, come together in the biblical manner and then suddenly find themselves being held captive by said guy in his locked apartment, and being treated as a pet. Fun times, eh? In all fairness this film comes out at a very good time, as with all these big scale summer blockbusters it’s nice to see a more smaller and confined film, that is pretty much based in one location, and where the story mainly focuses on only two characters, the captor and the victim. This is where this film shines. You really do feel kind of claustrophobic when watching certain scenes of the film, and certain moments of tension really make this to be a very interesting watch. What also helps is the very well done cinematography. The filming style really reminded me a lot of another indie flick this year ‘Personal Shopper’, where the shots really focuses on showing off the location, with ‘Personal Shopper’ being in Paris and ‘Berlin Syndrome’ being in, well, Berlin.

That being said, this is far from a perfect film. Throughout the movie there are quite a few plot holes, specifically with certain character motivations. The character of Clare (played by Teresa Palmer) never makes it quite clear exactly what she wants, and as she is held captive she sometimes sympathises with her captor Andi, then in another scene starts screaming and trying to attack him. And yes, I get that the film tries to reference Stockholm syndrome here, but I didn’t feel like the script made it clear enough and instead just created a character with multiple characteristics that didn’t work together. However, Teresa Palmer herself does a great job in this movie, possibly her strongest role to-date, and even in the very first opening scenes of the film she does a great job conveying an enthusiastic stranger in a stranger’s land. Max Riemelt plays her captor Andi, and talk about a guy who is creepy. As in he was uncomfortably creepy, not just with Clare, but with anyone he spoke with, that is with his father, his colleagues from work, and I just wondered how no one questioned his actions. He acts weird wherever he is, so someone was bound to have said something, but no, most of the characters simply let his whole creepy factor slide past and I did not buy that. But once again, the actual performance by Riemelt was good, this is more a problem with the writing and underwritten characters.

The film goes on for only just under 2 hours, and you feel it, as there were many parts where the film drags on. I’m someone who usually really liked slow paced films, however here there are certain scenes that have great moments of tension and character work, but then there are others where you just wish for the film to hurry up and get it’s destination. Talking about the destination, the ending is a bit disappointing, since with the build up and the whole thing with Stockholm syndrome being involved, I expected the ending to be more powerful, however it goes quite the banal way.

Though I did still really enjoy ‘Berlin Syndrome’, and I’d definitely recommend this film to go and see for anyone who is getting tired of all the big budget blockbuster flicks and watch something smaller and more simpler.

Overall score: 7/10

TOP MOVIE QUOTE: “Can’t you just be normal?”

[xoruffitup]

Fuckin MUSE

I don’t even know how to write words to express what I need to here alsdjfsaldsfk, but tonight I got to see Muse in Toronto - it was my seventh time seeing them, and not only was it the best Muse show I’ve ever been to, but it was thE FUCKING BEST CONCERT EXPERIENCE I’VE EVER HAD. EPIC BEYOND DESCRIPTION, AWESOME IN THE BIBLICAL SENSE, HOW WILL THE REST OF MY LIFE NOT BE HOLLOW AND MEANINGLESS IN COMPARISON

I was so close Matt was basically serenading me all night and he was sO CLOSE I WAS NOT OKAY, I FEEL LIKE WE’VE BECOME BONDED SOULMATES NOW. I could see his sweat and his stupid/awesome light-up sunglasses and shoes and his fuckin Mozart fingers destroying the guitar (he played the Hysteria guitar solo with his EYES CLOSED) and his arm hair and I don’t think I’ve ever been more in love in my life with a pasty British lad.

My feet were like give me a break from the jumping...pleaseee... but then Muse would launch into ANOTHER HEADBANGER and sorrY NOPE YA LITTLE ASSHOLES, WE’RE JUMPING FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF STRAIGHT. They played Stockholm Syndrome!!! So you best better believe everyone was losing their shit and my feet were fucked! (And my neck... how Chris headbangs straight through every concert night after night is an unmatchable feat)

Plug In Baby was like seeing the next life, the reaction to THAT RIFF is just beyond description, primal, and everyone screams the chorus like no one knows what lung capacity even is!! The jumping on Time Is Running Out in my section was MAD COORDINATED, GOOD JOB SQUAD. I swear we were all superhuman for that whole thing because fuckin Matt Bellamy was right in fucking front of our faces and his kick ass guitar shredding was blasting our faces straight off so clearly we were capable of anything!!

At one point some assholes tried to open a moshpit right fucking next to me and shoved me backwards from my spot and I fuckin ELBOWED THEM IN THE FACE TO TAKE IT BACK, I GAINED SUPERPOWERS AND WAS 100% READY TO FUCK SOMEONE UP. And whOOOO boy I swear I had an out-of-body experience during Knights of Cydonia. It defies belief that the “NO ONE’S GOING TO TAKE ME ALIIIIVE” breakdown of that song never loses an OUNCE of its peak power. NEVER.

Muse. I fuckin love you all. (Especially you, Dom, you were in a really spiffy suit tonight and you looked GOOOD) I honestly cannot even imagine how tonight could be topped, but knowing these guys’ penchant for the IMPOSSIBLE, I can’t wait to be proved wrong.