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superemeralds · 4 years ago

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OH WOW thank you for answering so fast!! I wanted to ask because in my opinion, Shadow is written kind of... poorly.. at the metal virus arc :c and I love how you characterize Shadow!! I was wondering, if you could, how would you have written him in it?

okay so this got. RAELLY long. it’s under the read more.. hhaaa... get ready for rambles.

before i start on what i would love to see different, here’s a few things that i really liked about his characterization in idw:

shadow being persistent about what he thinks is right, being very straightforward and strict in wanting to execute his ideal

the way he stepped down and let sonic try his way instead of being stubborn because sonic made a very good point. Shadow wants to be fair, and if he of all people deserves a chance, then so should eggman. kind of ties back to maria also, which is a nice nod to have considering it seems like modern writers for sonic usually treat the ending of shth as “ok she never existed to him anyways”

i like that he uses his GUN affiliation to his advantage to do good and help people (even if by rouges account he does it because he doesnt want to deal with zombots)

he has great devotion to make sure the truck is safe and peole get a chance to get out, giving (according to the comics anyways) more than 100% of his power dealing with hundreds if not thousands of zombots alone

I like that there’s a nod to shadow being insecure about his status as ultimate life form, and he is tempted to get infected just to prove to himself he really CANT get sick and he really IS a perfect being. He struggled a lot with the high expectations that were laid upon him, the expectations he’s laying upon himself.

I like how he had a great sense of shock and defeat when he realized that he DID get infected. It’s very true for him to be thrown off by it, get a little careless due to shock. its natural. it’s good.

his “i told you something like this would happen” towards sonic in the beginning of #19 is justified. He hates that he was right, he always is, and he wishes he wasnt. he could’ve prevented this, but its too late now. then later he risks getting infected with the metal virus, and he DOES get infected. He suddenly wasnt right anymore. This sense of irony... it’s probably one of the reasons he has trouble to concentrate on the fight. it’s a nice parallel. IDK if ian intended it to be this deep, but that’s what i read into it.

(i also want to point out that i like that herms gives everyone slightly diverse “skin”-tones. like diverse undertones. im still peeved they are all pretty pale but its hoenstly a nice little nod)

okay so here’s what i think could’ve gone better:

I feel like shadow being the one to drive the truck into the city is a reference to 06, where he is driving around in various vehicles. That in itself is nice, and i think shadow is a person who prefers to do things himself if there’s a lot at stake (which there was a lot of peoples lives) but i also think that he would think of himself as a powerful shield. He would rather be the one overseeing the battlefield insread of being the designated driver. He knows he was created for the frontlines, and he is someone who knows he can survive the front lines. He is not a sacrefice tobe made, he is the one who will make sure that no one else has to sacrefice themselves. Shadow should’ve been on site from the very beginning. Where is the rest of GUN anyways? Those low level humans should make an effort to protect the life on their planet.

Shadow did absolutely NOT use 100% of his pwoer to protect the truck. He could EASILY have done more. He can lift trucks. He could use chaos blast. He could easily have prevented just faling victim to the zombots so easily.

As mentioned above it kind of DOES make sense for him to go down easily due to being infected, but I think this was the wrong time to let him get infected. I think he wouldn’t let his guard down and carelessly touch a zombot. He would not give in to the temptation to test his limits like this if there was not a greater cause. I think he would easily break if someone he cared about (other than sonic) fell victim to the metal virus. This is something that would get him emotional, to get careless. He knows sonic can outrun the virus, but rouge can’t. Amy, Tails, Knuckles, Vector, all of Sonic’s friends can’t outrun the virus. There’s a big chance that he is immune, there’s a slim chance he is not. But even with that slim chance, he knows he could outrun it, just like sonic. Losing someone he cares about to the virus would remind him of his superiority, of how fragile life is and of his responsibility to protect life itself. Any restrait would be gone. He would be driven by guilt and anger at himself, that he could’ve done better, that he HAS to do better. It’s something that spirals him totally out of control. It’s something that would make him want to prove to himself that he has the ability to fix it all. because it’s all his fault.

this is honestly something that is so important. he feels responsible for this, because he did what was right and gave sonic and eggman a chance. In his mind, sometimes the right hting to do is the wrong thing to do, because sometimes only wrong actions get you to the right goal. he is a gray character like that, and i think it’s not shown enough. his regret and guilt don’t surface enough so that anyone who is not as invested in the character would be able to read it out of #19. there’s a lot of stuff going on inside shadow in this issue and its just. not enough time to unpack it all. this whole deal of him getting infected was too rushed. (as mentioned above i wouldve preferred he get infected a little later or under other circumstances)

I think shadow is aware of his responsibility as living weapon to not fall into the hands of the enemy. he has learned what it means to be manipulated, he learned what it means if he was used as a weapon by an enemy of life on earth. he does NOT want to be used as an object of destruction ever again. He would RUN. even if hesitant, but his emotions would make him excell even in that. he would make sure he’d run faster than sonic. he’s want to make sure that he’d give 110% and cure himself, something sonic couldn’t do.

the way he would go down in my mind is him excerting himself. He would absolutely reject help. he would prefer to not have any contact with anyone at all. For one because he feels guilty and he doesn’t want to deal with that emotionally, also because he doesn’t want anyone to see him in this state of weakness. He absolutely would loathe the idea of anyone being able to see him go down and surrender to the enemy. He would absolutely exhaust his entire energy reservoir building barricades and being the sole and only front line protecting evacuation efforts from a distance, to make sure that they have enough buffer to escape, should he fail.

shadow is someone who is rash and has a tendency to boast his strength, but he also is someone who tries to consider any and all possibilities, no matter how painful they are to admit to his pride. he will shove them to the back of his mind, but they are still there. and if it COMES to those scenarios, he will have a plan for them. only if unpredictable things happen, or things that shake him emotionally, he would lose grip.

also in all those talks abt things shaking him emotionally, i dont mean that other people who arent his friends are not important to him, its just that friendship has a bigger impact on people. i think that should be pretty obvious, but since people like to misinterpret shadow id like to make sure people understand that i think that shadow values all and every life on the planet. he griefs over random deaths as much as his friends, it’s just that it hits more personal. mostly because he thinks... of himself as someone who always protects, but never has to be protected.

shadows relationship with himself is complicated. he thinks very low of himself. he pretty much hates himself. but that is because he thinks oh so highly of himself. he is perfect, ultimate, unbeatable, unstoppable, immortal, immune.... he expects all this of himself... even though he knows that it’s not true. it’s the one thing that he knows of himself. The one thing he feels that he could maybe achieve if he tried hard enough, and of course he is never trying hard enough; and at the same time he is trying so hard. He gives 300% and yet he still feels like he halfasses everything and he still feels like he could do better. On the outside he presents it with his strict edgy persona, that looks down on everyone. but really he feels so small. most of all towards sonic. sonic is so so tall compared to shadow (pun intended).

he looks up to sonic so much, because he always manages to go out of hisway to do what is right. even if it meant risk, even if it meant weakness. Sonic, the guy that easily could just get killed and hurt and not recover. the funny jokes dude that never thinks more than a single step ahead. This boy is out there risking his life for the life of this planet on the front lines and he shows not a single care about his own safety, always putting everyone else before him. shadow envies him. he really really does. thats why he values his opinoin. thats why he listens to him and even steps back from his OWN ideals, something he would do for only VERY few people, because of course shadow is always right. this is referenced in various sonic games (sa2 most of all,shth,sth) and in sonic x (yea its not canon but like. They Really Got His Character).

ADDING SOME RAMBLING AFTER ISSUE #33 RELEASED

#shadcanon #kinda?#meta/ shadow #i still love my meta tag #anonymous #fan lore

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e8luhs · 4 years ago

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Cyan i just bought pathologic what is happening and why did it guilt me into choosing the hardest difficulty

TBH okay im not going to say alot because i think its best to go into pathologic 99.9% blind the only thing u need to know right now outside of any prior knowledge you may have is that youre a doctor whos going into a town and fighting a plague!

w/ the difficulty thing. difficulty just plays a heavy role in the story & Feel of the game it is supposed to be challenging. patho is made to kick your ass emotionally and youre going to be making a lot of tough decisions (if you get emotionally invested they will feel like. world ending sometimes.) so id say you should FOR SURE try going through w/ one full playthrough AT LEAST w/ the recommended difficulty. im personally really stubborn so i refuse to make things easier for myself ever in any capacity (my rules for myself are like absolutely no savescumming unless i was genuinely lost on what i was supposed to do/confused. no changing difficulty. etc)

BUT after you get a good couple of days in, if its like too much for you, you could always start a new run and just tweak the difficulty. thats my take at least. idk sometimes other patho fans can be very like If You Dont Play On The Recommended Difficulty You Arent Experiencing The Story To Its Fullest and while i agree that difficulty makes it more gripping its also like. a fucking video game

so yeah. I HOPE YOU HAVE FUN AND ENJOY IT!!! and stan clara changeling of pathologic fame!!!!!!!

#ask #umm i talked in circles here a little bit but yeah

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cardassiangf · 5 years ago

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okay actually let me just do the top three placements for the ds9 crew, okay? okay here we go! these are just for fun & also my interpretation. also i realize some arent human and therefore would have different placements entirely, but you know what? idc. (and no ezri since i havent seen enough of her to make a good guess sfdgfhjh sorry!)

julian i already said was a cancer sun virgo moon. workaholics who are kinda anxious but also full of love and affection, plus they also love to talk. for rising im kind of caught between aries and sagittarius, because they both in nicely with the top two. i am leaning more towards aries rising though for him. moves very fast to keep interest in things & is career minded. it’s kind of a combination that swings back and forth between this unflappable confidence (usually in the workplace) and a deep emotional vulnerability. also, they’re caregivers by nature. his childhood teddy bear was his ‘first patient,’ and that has to mean something. he also repeatedly shows himself to be drawn to people that might be in need of ‘fixing,’ and might not necessarily pull back until something shakes him out of it. julian is someone who buzzes with energy and feels so much at once it can be hard to reign in, but once he actually manages to do that, it’s almost unstoppable.

for sisko im feeling gemini sun and scorpio moon. okay yes two signs with a bad rep for some reason but hear me out: this person is extremely charming, confident & elegant except when they're Not, there's intense confidence and resolve that comes through. and on that intensity, we’ve all seen sisko when he gets serious about something--it’s a Lot. it’s a combo that can also be thrown off kilter and that’s not a great thing, but sisko has an excellent support system to ground him so you don’t see the negativity. he’s also a pisces rising. the same intensity comes out in love and emotional intelligence with him here, he’s definitely someone in touch with that side of himself and that’s very Water Sign of him. so basically loving, protective, the type of person people get drawn too for one reason or another but also there’s a chaotic side to him too, and he’s got a flair for the dramatic (his escapades in the mirrorverse come to mind when i think about this.)

jadzia... okay see my initial reaction is to just. fill her chart with fire. she’s a big personality on the surface, and extremely magnetic. but actually? leo sun pisces moon. okay yeah, a fire sign out from the gate but hear me out. there’s a lot of duality in jadzia, and while she outwardly shows a ton of confidence, she’s also pretty self reflective and i get the sense she much prefers to deal with her problems internally. like, people don’t really see much past her dazzling outside either, and as another leo sun, people do tend to write us off as a bit one dimensional at times. the known emotional sensitivity of the pisces mized with leo’s capacity to love is good for her i think. rising is a bit tricky, since jadzia also has dax to blend her personality with, but i think that virgo rising suits her well. for all of the fun she brings to the table, she also has a brilliant streak of practicality.

kira is another instinctively ‘oh, fire sign!’ person but actually? i think she has a ton of water in her chart. she’s emotional and passionate and so devoted to the things and people she believes in, and maybe she isn’t used to paying attention to her emotions because the occupation didn’t let her, but she feels so deeply. for this reason, pisces sun sagittarius moon scorpio rising. the thing about kira is that she might hold a lot of anger, but most of it stems from love and protectiveness. she’s incredibly blunt and adaptable, and definitely one of those pisces who doesn’t actually want to admit they have anything in common with the other water signs lmao. she’s at her best when she’s around people who can ground her and kind of make her pause to evaluate things before jumping into action and seriously values the bonds she makes with people. she also doesn’t really care for staying still or playing political mind games and would much prefer to just jump into the Doing phase of things.

quark is just. it took me a minute for him actually? idk he’s a bit of a weird one. for quark, he’s kind of dramatic and emotional but also has this wonderfully deviant side and, when it comes down to it, isn’t terrible at business negotiations at all. yes he has majorly fucked up some big opportunities, but also somehow has kept his bar running for what, 15? 20 years? through everything that’s happened on ds9. quark is a capricorn sun, but it’s balanced out (or in conflict with) his aquarius moon and leo rising. quark is weird, and kind of a dick sometimes, but when he’s not trying to be a menace, he actually has a pretty good heart. he’s a pretty creative thinker and constantly finds new ways to use practical knowledge to his advantage. but he also likes to ‘outshine’ others and keep the spotlight on himself, and he’ll lie and trample over people to do so. the fact that this combo makes him attentive can be a bit of a double-edged sword; sure, he can listen to people when he feels like it, but what’s going to happen with that knowledge? who knows. not quark until he finds an opportunity for it at least.

odo! does not technically have a birthday but who cares i love him so he’s here. yes, we will start obviously: virgo sun. what else would i go with. he’s a reserved person with a personality that errs on the side of uptight; very virgo stereotypical. but you know what else? aries moon. oh yes. odo walks into a room and as long as he wants you to know he’s there, you Will know. he’s bold in his own way, and extremely on top of details with intense attentiveness. of course there’s some fire in his chart, and probably a lot of it in other placements too. his gemini rising helps this out immensely, which is kinda surprising. but also when gemini is ascendant with virgo in sun, it makes them meticulous, fast learners. maybe a bit nitpicky at times, but nothing that can’t be helped with practice. i think the aries placement would also probably explain the underlying sensitivity, because like, it’s generally one of the louder signs of the zodiac but here’s a secret from anther fire sign: we are So sensitive oh my fucking god. we have a ton of ego and pride (and you can’t tell me odo doesn’t have moments of that) so typically unless we’re in a place we feel we can let go, you won’t see it, but jesus Fucking christ fire signs have a lot of emotion under the surface.

miles, who i just wanna lowkey take the piss out of and slap him with virgo/virgo/virgo but i will refrain lmao. no, for him, libra sun leo moon virgo rising. he’s extremely reliable, devoted to his work & friends & family even if he’s not the greatest at showing it? a bit emotionally constipated but he does try very hard and that’s why we love him. is it the placements or the fact that he’s an irish dad? who knows, but he’s very prone to just telling people things outright with nothing to cushion it. this can be good or bad, and seems to depend more on how well the other person knows him. his leo side makes him pretty warm when he’s comfortable, and i think his relationship with keiko actually paints him as a lowkey traditional romantic too. also, these placements make for really good parents, and we don’t see it as much as we see the jake/sisko father/son dynamic, but miles really does do his best for his kids.

worf my boy, who i have loved dearly since i first saw tng. hard to make a guess for him im 100% happy with though. im decently satisfied with taurus sun leo moon scorpio rising. worf is just like. he doesn’t have a really big personality but you also are very aware of him? i wouldn’t say he’s stoic by any means, he’s just very. focused. he’s honest and tries his best to look at situations from a more lawful standpoint, or at least, one that makes the most sense with his own honour code. he seems drawn to stability, but also finds himself drawn to people who challenge him too? he’s out here looking for something to balance him out and put things in perspective for him. whether or not he takes that into consideration is another thing entirely. and i say scorpio because, you know what they say, still water runs deep. you might know what he’s thinking because he told you, but you might not know how he Feels about it. actually, you probably will not. the leo doesn’t really make him want to be in the spotlight or anything, in his case i think it acts more like his driving force.

and listen. i know garak isn't crew. but i love him so he’s here and we’re all gonna like it. this chaotic little bastard spy is an aquarius sun pisces moon capricorn rising. garak is unique, and even if he doesn’t want to say it, he’s pretty ruled by his emotions too. he’s creative, and a grade-A manipulator who can charm his way just about anywhere (provided of course, the person in question isn’t someone who’s been warned about him, but even then, he has a good chance). he’s good a good, if not a bit Off, sense of humour and he comes off as someone who has a personal interest in the behaviour of people. not just a spy thing, but he’s invested--he does crave a certain intimacy and closeness which gets denied uh. most of his life actually. the capricorn read comes from how he’s been able to compartmentalize and commit acts of cruelty. an interrogation that was four hours of staring and not speaking is certainly creative. it’s also an insanely calculated and sadistic mind game for him. and it’s interesting to note that as much as he manipulates, he’s also very easily manipulated himself (see: Everything about tain jesus fuck i hate that man so much). he also runs into quite a bit of trouble when he’s not able to compartmentalize things any longer, whether it’s because the emotional toll is too high or he simply doesn’t see the point in the actions any longer.

#ds9 #star trek #star trek deep space 9 #long post #WHEW

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kingofthewilderwest · 6 years ago

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Hello, Haddock! Now that Voltron (sadly) ended, how would you rank the seasons? Also, could you tell how many times you've rewatched them?

Hey there, friend! WAY happy to chat Voltron and all its seasons!

Unlike most fandom culture, I’m not a chronic rewatcher, and the default assumption is that I’ve only seen any show once. It’s rare for me to see shows more than once, honestly, even ones I love. I certainly will be watching VLD more times, but because of my normal watching habits, I’ve seen a large portion of the show only once. I’ve seen S1 probably about 5 times, S2 thrice, S3-4 twice, and S5+ once. I’ve seen “The Last Stand” from S7 twice.

These are rankings based somewhat upon my emotional attachments and not simply objective elements like narrative structure! XD I already know my preferences are going to be different than lots of people in the VLD fandom, haha. These rankings are also based on memory, which is pretty strong admittedly for VLD, but it leaves room to change with a rewatch.

EIGHTH PLACE: VLD Season 8

Let’s be clear: I don’t dislike Season 8 and there’s much I enjoy. Give it up for S8 love!!! Standout episodes to me include “Launch Date,” “The Prisoner’s Dilemma,” and “Day Forty-Seven.” The women going shopping together and Pidge dressing as 1980s Darrell Stoker made my life. Not to mention… it was fun spending time with the MFEs; they didn’t take a disproportionate amount of time, but gave us good moments to make us love them. I’m thankful for the S8 ending giving us both a sense of wrap-up for the plot conflicts, but also looking forward to what our Paladins will do to rejuvenate the galaxy. There’s much I’m thankful for with S8.

That said, S8 isn’t my jam as much as other seasons. I’m not much of a shipper and I wasn’t into the Allurance, nor did I get pulled into the magic-heavy plot conflict with Haggar and her Alteans. And while S7 does give great screen time to Allura, it felt a little less like an ensemble cast and more like a spotlight on her. Enemies’ minds changed too fast for me to feel realistic, and the magic-wonky plot didn’t feel as gripping and intense as S7. It’s the reason I’m placing S8 here: from my own preferences, I attached with other seasons more.

SEVENTH PLACE: VLD Season 5

For whatever reason, S5 didn’t make as much of an impression on me as other seasons. I wasn’t as invested in concepts like “Kral Zera” and “White Lion.” Given as S5 is an odd numbered season in the middle portion of Voltron, it has an innate disadvantage: it’s written in all but name as the first half of a season, which means story arc ending payoffs wouldn’t happen until S6. I also feel like S5 is where plot writing is at one of its most tangled or muddied, given as there’s lots being juggled and introduced conflict-wise and lore-wise and universe-wise and character-wise.

However, S5 - like all seasons - gives us cool stuff. We got Matt (one of my favorite characters) participating in an adventure, lots of Lotor screentime, and a callout to 1980s DOTU that I never thought they’d be able to turn into a good episode (“White Lion”). And!!! We get to meet!!! KROLIA!!!

SIXTH PLACE: VLD Season 3

I have particularly fond attachment to S3. This is the season where I started getting actively involved in Voltron fandom discourse, giving my own take on Project Kuron theories. This is the season that gave us the first glimpse of the Classic Voltron formation - Keith in Black, Lance in Red, Pidge in Green, Allura in Blue, Hunk in Yellow. I felt a thrill go through me as Keith, for the first time, said “Form Voltron!” Also… Lance really stepping up to show his leadership potential??? So good. And this is the season where we meet Lotor, another long-anticipated character… and oh my goodness is his character introduction gold. So there’s lots of stuff I hold strong affinity for in S3.

The reason I have to rank Season 3 back here is because it’s more about the Paladins floundering around than anything else. It’s meant to create a new sense of chaos and instability… their leader Shiro is gone, and now there are new unexpected threats like Lotor to handle. However, at the same time, since half of the season is just the Paladins floundering around not knowing how to work together, it makes me less attached to particular episodes. None of the episodes are favorites or standouts to me on their own. There’s lots of cool moments throughout S3, but I think the only episode I notably emotionally attach to is “The Journey.” But still? Good season!

FIFTH PLACE: VLD Season 1

I can’t believe I have this amazing season all the way back here. I want it to be higher, except that I do have to rank other seasons above this one.

Season 1 is what gets everything started. It sets the stage for what Voltron’s all about, teaching us about lions and robeasts and Zarkon and the Galaxy Garrison and all that good stuff from 1980s nostalgia… all the while creating a new vibe and energy to the franchise. In retrospect, S1 feels much calmer and less high-stakes than the rest of the series (especially post S2). However, it’s a solid season with good episodes that never feel less solid and good. We get great Hunk material with him finding conviction; great Shiro and Pidge moments as they share different worries over the abduction; hilarious Keith and Lance clashes; lots and lots and lots of good things. It’s a very solid season, especially once we launch off Arus.

FOURTH PLACE: VLD Season 6

If you want to know how tight my season rankings are to each other, S6 was almost listed second place.

I attach to specific episodes in particular for S6. I love the visuals in “Razor’s Edge.” I died howling with laughter in “Monsters & Mana.” I fell into so many emotional feels regarding Keith and Shiro in “The Black Paladins.” We get one of the all-time best emotional, action-oriented episodes of VLD… and one of the most amazing, hysterical filler episodes in S6. Despite being seven episodes long, S6 is an incredible ride and adventure start to end. It’s hard to believe so much occurred in that amount of time!

There’s hoards of great stuff in this season. We get the Kuron arc resolved, with lots of emotional content between Keith and Shiro. We get the Lotor arc resolved, learning whether or not he can be trusted, with great Lotor and Allura time. We get Keith returning to the Paladins. We get the introduction of Romelle, which all DOTU lovers have been waiting for forever.

THIRD PLACE: VLD Season 4

I have to put VLD S4 here because of its emotional power. There are damned AMAZING moments this season, alongside some of my favorite episodes and moments of all time. I know I and some of the other fans aren’t huge on “The Voltron Show!” But fuck it, guys, S4 gave us “Reunion” and “A New Defender”!!!

Matt is a delight this season, from his first meeting of Allura, to his tour around the Castle of Lions with Pidge, to his technological connections with his sister and Hunk, to his participation in the Rebels’ fighting forces. We also get some of the funniest moments for me in Voltron, between learning how to milk Kaltenecker and seeing HOW Pidge finally managed to rig up the video game system.

Then there’s the opposite end of the emotional spectrum. “Reunion” is the single most emotional episode in all of Voltron for me. Even though I’d seen screencaps of Matt prior to watching S4, I felt as shocked and heartbroken as Pidge to come to his gravestone. There’s so much POWER to this gravestone scene; it’s one of the moments that resonates with me the most even after I’ve finished the whole show. It might even be my Number One FAVORITE moment in the entire show. It’s not my place to analyze that scene here, but DAMN.

Furthermore, the climax with the battle of Naxzela was INTENSE, with Keith almost sacrificing himself getting me screaming. That was such a great battle and climactic moment in VLD. This was a great culminating moment, in which the series has officially built up from a small team to a universe-wide conflict.

We get standout moments with Keith being badass with the blades, Matt taking initiative, Pidge seeking out her family, Allura helping Voltron flee the gravity field, Kuron becoming increasingly more suspicious. VLD S4 ramps everything up from the emotions to the excitement, resulting in an awesome and intense six episodes.

SECOND PLACE: VLD Season 7

It’s really hard for me to put this as second place instead of first place. I originally had it in first place. I want it to be first place. I LOVE the second half of S7 so much. This is, possibly, my favorite season from an emotional standpoint because wow.

It’s all-around outstanding. S7 showed us how far the Paladins have come as heroes; they operate with great teamwork, skill, and professionalism that is oh-so-cool to see on screen. They’re still the characters we love and cherish, but they’ve grown SO MUCH since their first days on Voltron. This is fully-fledged heroes doing fully-fledged battles and it’s GREAT.

S7 gives us standout moments to so many characters, including Hunk, Shiro, Sam, Colleen, Veronica, and Keith. We even get some good adventure time with Romelle! And as far as character interactions are concerned, we get touching moments between Keith and Lance, Keith and Hunk, and so many other combinations.

The story raises the stakes to higher levels than ever before, with an emotional and exciting conquest of Earth. There’s nothing more horrible and high-stakes to audiences than a homefront war. We feel extreme pain for Hunk with fears for his family, and Shiro for the loss of Adam. We feel the great sense of danger and desperation starting with “The Last Stand.” We feel the drama of a long and extended climax fighting for Earth’s freedom, including moments where the Paladins control the Lions outside their body (so cool), Shiro commands the ATLAS (SO cool), and the ATLAS also transforms into a fighting robot (SO FREAKING COOL!). This has some of the most exciting, badass stuff of Voltron ever. I love it.

Highlight episodes for me are “The Last Stand” (two episodes without the Paladins about Earth fighting for its freedom? this was fucking amazing), “Trial By Fire,” and “Lions’ Pride.” Essentially - all of the second half of the season.

FIRST PLACE: Season 2

Season 2 is probably THE MOST solid season in all of VLD.

Almost every episode is good, memorable, fun, lovable, enjoyable, classic. It highlights the full ensemble cast. It creates an EXTREMELY exciting, exhilarating, fun climax. It is a strong narrative season, cleanly and proudly finishing the first 26 episode long arc for VLD. This season shows VLD at its best. Since it consistently delivers, there’s nowhere else S2 belongs except the top.

We get great Shiro time, what with his arc spent learning to trust Black… leading to him being a badass unlocking the Lion’s wings and taking Zarkon’s bayard. We get great Pidge time, whether it’s her freaking out over video games or drawing deeper into the beauty of the world - technology and biology both. We get great Keith time, with him fighting for answers in the Blade of Marmora and infiltrating Zarkon’s base in an extremely dangerous mission. We get great Hunk time, between unlocking his Lion’s claws and taking initiative in the Weblum adventure. We get great Lance moments, where he shows us he truly can be a sharpshooter for the team. We get great Allura moments, especially in how she fought against Haggar in the finale. This season rocks it for EVERY Paladin.

Not only does every individual Paladin get good spotlighting, but S2 also rocks it with character interactions. How Allura handles Keith being Galra is a memorable moment of character development for both of them. How Hunk and Keith interact in “The Belly of the Weblum” is a delight. How Shiro loses his cool with Slav is hysterical. I can never complain to Lance and Hunk combinations, like in “The Depths.” And of course every episode focused on Keith and Shiro gives us good feels.

Standout episodes for S2 include “The Ark of Taujeer” (THE COLORS), “The Blade of Marmora,” “Blackout,” “Space Mall.” I cannot believe I watched an episode where the character dressed as space pirates and rode on a flying cow to escape a mall cop. That happened. It’s a delight. And S2 kept rocking it with the humor, down to Pidge creating all her Paladin buddies out of space junk and imitating them. But S2 also gives us some of the most memorable moments of VLD storytelling, what with “The Blade of Marmora.” That episode is a staple for many reasons. Not to mention… all of S2 works together cohesively for the long-term arc structure.

And then there’s the climax. So well-done. So exciting. So immersive. So intense. So cool. So badass. Great colors, great flow, great plot, great everything start to end. I was in a THRILL at the end of S2 because this climax was so unbelievably fun. In retrospect it’s got competition with S7, and S7 probably takes the cake now… but fuck it, S2′s end will always be awesome.

Every single season in VLD gives me something to be excited about. There are things to love each step of the journey. I’m thankful for every episode from S1 to S8.

What a ride this journey has been.

#vld spoilers #Voltron spoilers #not really but just in case #vld #Voltron #Voltron: Legendary Defender #Voltron Legendary Defender #long post #analysis #my analysis #non-dragons #ask #ask me #anonymous #awesome anonymous friend

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sometipsygnostalgic · 6 years ago

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xenoblade chronicles 2 rapidfire review

π after i started writing up a 5000 word review and was still on the “character” section ive decided to make a rapidfire version to get to the fucking point.

Story - at the end of the day, it’s a tale about how to deal with all the pain and insecurity that life throws at you. how to dig down deep and find a way to continue in what you may interpret as a dreadful world. it also has some of the most satisfying mysteries and plot resolutions i’ve ever seen in a videogame. utterly touching themes. unfortunately gets a bit too shonen at points especially with the protagonist. also quite possibly a lowkey harem anime.

Story rating - 8 out of 10.

Characters - mostly all amazing in the english version.

Rex - a top lad. your best mate. however, becomes a total flawless gary stu pretty quickly. better than many protagonists out there. i like the way he gets people to open up by acting so casually friendly around them. 7 out of 10.

Pyra - unfortunately the weakest character in the main cast. has 3 forms that are treated as different characters for some reason, and no emotions beyond “sad” and “in love with rex”. her mythra form is a slightly better character who will talk to other cast members and sass down people. however mythra also comes across as weak and overly emotionally fragile at times, considering she is supposed to be the Master Blade. i suspect she exists for rex to have 4 3 girlfriends at once.

Azurda - dragon grandpa. subversive in that when he dies for the hero to move on from the homeland, he immediately resurrects himself as a cute furry thing that sleeps in rex’s helmet. best videogame decision ever. gives top advice.

Nia - welsh. double furry. how old is she? 6? most useful NPC. swears a hell of a lot. hilarious sassmaster with an intriguing story and well-rounded motivations. consistently interesting relationships with other cast members up to the end of the game. even remains the same after receiving her compulsory magical girl transformation. has the most awesome magical girl transformation. gives the main villain super cancer, causing him to blow up like harry potter’s aunt. probably the best character. lightly orbits the black hole of the rex harem, struggling to maintain geostational stability against the powers of fanservice.

Dromarch - a good dad cat. there is not a lot else to say about dromarch, except that you can ride him, which is badass. he and azurda are the old dad types babysitting the kids.

Tora - meh meh. actually likable mechanic child. why is this furry cat thing a key member of my party. despite rarely ever upgrading his blade he has made me basically immortal many times. nopon mask is underrated. masterpon is same at start of game as at end of game. that is to say he is an ambitious child, and a bit of a pervert. however, has terrible taste in upgrades. has many IRL blades pointed at him.

Poppi - poppi artificial blade who speak like masterpon. poppi α has cool design. poppi α adorable and cool. due to being newborn blade, poppi have refreshing and truthful view on world. poppi have tragic artificial sister who almost die terribly after evil nopon brainwash! poppi have most sad heartbreaking scene at end of game. however, poppi QT and poppi QT π designs can die in big fire. poppi good at throwing shade. it endearing and special trait.

Morag - technically the group normie. however, very weird. when you first see morag she reeks of pure chilled badassery. logical and with a strong sense of justice and compassion, morag starts off as an intimidating antivillain but becomes a staple member of the party. even though rex and the gang are fugitives in her city, she lets them leave because she senses they weren’t crooked ruffians and they had a purpose of their own. but she comes back to kick their ass when she thinks they’re causing more trouble, and is actually quite pissed off about rex and pyra holding back on her. has a sweet relationship with the emporer, her distant cousin/adoptive kid brother. morag learns on her adventure the value of the optimistic views the kids around her have of the world, and says multiple times if more people thought like they did, maybe there wouldn’t be so much political nonsense stopping people from living together peacefully. morag has a lot of pride and cannot deal with being oneupped. i love her.

Brighid - Morag’s wife blade who is one of many that struggles with the thought of losing her identity after regenning. has a diary of her past lives. uses it to taunt mythra about that one time she kicked her ass. pretends to be a little distant but low key super emotionally invested in the cast’s development. literally asked a main villain if she was like her past self that he knew, causing him to reconsider his entire philosophy on blades becoming completely different people when they’re reborn. bitchslaps rex that one time. Owns everybody at some point. such a beautiful character design that i never even noticed her chest is basically bare.

shellhead Zeke - the prince... of NOTHING. wishes he was still a student. that one time he nearly died, he was probably impaled by a falling twig. enjoyed playing Team Rocket. surprisingly wise for a teenlike NEET. does not look after his precious turtle. potentially does have a thunder powered eye. however, definitely requires second contact lens. unfortunately not comparable to rex in combat especially as his Luck stat means using a legendary crystal on him is like throwing it away.

Pandoria - i often forget pandoria is a blade because she is zeke’s girlfriend, also i never use her in battle due to his redundentness. well reknowned for also not looking after turtles properly. also well reknowned for slam dunking the prince over his nonsense while being equally silly.

BAD GUYS

Jin - apparently has special people-drawing trait that makes all the good cast who know him shocked he is ordering such evil bastard things to happen. not entirely sure what that trait is. emo about much bad stuff that happen to him and his driver. wishes to never forget his life with his driver. dirty child killer.very aniime. why is he the only flesh eater whose core turns red? okay character with decent enough motivation. was confused as to why Malos was following him until the very end.

Malos - evil bastard. cheesy villain. you can kick his ass many times and he will get back up 3 minutes later and laugh at you while swallowing back the bile of a bitter defeat. is actually a little tragic by the end of the game. dies for no reason. makes morag jealous because he found his purpose in life, though im not sure what that is.

Akhos - N3RD. probably the most likable member of Torna. had a silly Blade companion who he was really upset died. i like how he was sentimental about his ‘sister’ blade.

Patroka - most forgettable Torna member. a little bit tsundere.

Mikhail - grew on me significantly at the end though like Akhos and Patroka his backstory was unceremoniously dumped on your lap at the last second. must be a great fan of Prince Zeke as he’s heard of the term Blade Eater. also why has Mikhail got awesome blade powers and immortality when Zeke hasnt? maybe Mikhail is “possessing” the blade per se.

Amalthus - emo bitch. stared God in the face and raised his middle finger. hypocritically creates flesh eaters then sends witch hunts out for them. i like that he reminded himself every day about how bad humanity was by doing his best to help people. so despite the praetor being this “benevolent” figure he had somehow manifested a being of pure hatred.

Theres a lot of other people I cant be assed talking about right now.

Character rating - 9 out of 10. Even though some important characters arent as impactful as they should be, everybody is memorable and I can remember all of their damn names and backstories.

Gameplay - not particularly amazing. battles are alright, RPG-wise, with orb breaking combos and cancelling being fun to use. but they’re highly limited by the fact you can only control 1 character at a time and there is no Co-op feature. they also take an incredibly long time, even for just one enemy encounter, and there can be unfair Spike damage moves that oneshot you. my most satisfying moment battling ever was when i was fighting Aeon, the final boss, and got a Full break for the first time... I decimated the fucker when he was at 60% health.

Of course, those are just the battle mechanics.

The game is full of complex mechanics that do nothing but add tedium. Every single quest in the game forces you to farm for certain “collectibles”, plants that grow in specific unlisted locations that respawn when you fast travel. Many character “affinity” upgrades, which can lock out certain areas of the map, special skills, or unique interactions, also require you to do this shit. A guide is NECESSARY for this. There’s also the Merc Missions. Little did you know, you will need to complete Merc Missions to reach the end of many blade quests!!!you know what’s FUN? Waiting for a timer to pass after 25 fucking minutes!!!! this game has NO RESPECT FOR YOUR TIME WHATSOEVER.

the biggest bullshit of all is when you’re locked out of the main story because a specific character on your team hasn’t unlocked level 3 of a specific skill, because there’s no way that you’d be able to unlock that by naturally playing the game as you have to go out of your way to fill the criteria and grind something or other for 20 minutes.

This makes sidequests absolutely worthless.

The saving grace for the gameplay is probably the customizability of the blades themselves. Not so much the skills you can attach to each blade, but that you can unlock a number of fun characters to use, and they will have their own unique dialogue. The drivers and blades talking during battle also makes a 20 minute fight feel a lot quicker.

Battle gameplay mechanics: 6 out of 10. Fun but could be better. Sidequests, crafting, and field skill mechanics : 1 out of 10. Worthless trash that should never have been greenlit.

Considering that you will be spending so much time on the gameplay, why even bother playing the game at all?

It’s very much the story that pushes the player to move onwards. If this game didn’t have such a fun cast and meaningful plot then I’d probably not have gotten past the first act.

Music and Environments - Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is filled with vast, beautiful and diverse environments. Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of interactivity with them other than killing monsters or foraging those bloody collectibles, but they’re beautiful enough with a diverse range of monster inhabitants that give them life. The MUSIC is godlike. My favourite track in the game would be the song used for the city in Tantal. Very ominous and beautiful hymn, sung in English.

Music and environment rating - 8 out of 10.

Localisation - While many sneer at the localisation choices for this game I thought it brought it to life. Granted I have great bias as being a Welsh girl who is familiar with the differences in UK regional dialect, but it felt like the dialogue the characters were saying also had a heavy makeover to fit the new voices... I really don’t believe that Rex’s Japanese voice actor also sounded like a Top Lad, or that Nia’s japanese voice actor sounded as much like she was ready for a valleys bar fight. However there are some clear obstacles as well - the characters seemed to have no idea of the context of their lines. This is obvious when they shout something for a long time. Rex’s “HIYAAAAAAAAH” and Nia’s “NOOOO MOOOOORE” sound comically off-tone when they are supposed to be epic. It’s the works of someone who read those lines off a script without knowing what was going on. Tora’s actor saying “meh meh” sounds like it was meant to be a COMPLETELY different noise. Morag and Zeke never go off-course, however. I think either they had an advantage with more visuals being completed by the time they were cast, or they just don’t have diverse enough dialogue in the game for it to have been an issue.

Localisation - 7.8/10 too much Meh.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Xenoblade chronicles 2 is a highly addictive game that pulls you to the finish line with an interesting plot and a cast you just can’t let go of. While Pyra is certainly the weakest link of the characters, and the game has some extremely goofy shonen scenes that it’s hard to take seriously, and oh dear me that’s an awful lot of boob shots, I had a lot of fun powering through it. I’m going to have a tough time letting go of this story and these characters.

Unfortunately the gameplay itself is not similarly addictive, and becomes more of a chore for you to get to the next cutscene or funny interaction.

Final rating - 6.5 out of 10. While a worthwhile experience, the greatest story in the world cannot save this game from piss-standard design choices. It is probably better to spend your time on a game that doesn’t have anti-fun mechanics. But I’d be hard pressed if any had a cast that touched your hearts quite like that of Xenoblade Chronicles 2.

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that1badassbitch · 7 years ago

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I just watched Mark's playthrough of Hearts and Hero's and I think If I wasn't so emotionally constipated I'd be crying so I just need to get words out.

I'm so glad he played a game like this one. Because it's so important that he knows what he means to us. He's done so much good for so many people and he is so invested in what he does. He's never failed to see us as people and he's always been so ridiculously encouraging it almost makes me sick. But I feel like he still doesn't really understand what that /means/ to us. Or at least to me. He tries so hard to put out content that's funny and fun and shows appreciation for things we do, and he always says it's more than he deserves but that's why we care so much- because he's not entitled, hes not an asshole (except for the jokes, which he only does with people who know he's joking) who thinks we owe him something. He doesn't think we owe him anything, and that's why we want to give it to him. And it scares me sometimes, because I know he's just a guy and the knowledge that so many people look up to him and admire him and rely on him in dark times would crush me. He doesn't want us to see him struggle, but if he can't lessen his own burden and if he tries to take on everyone else's problems too... It scares me to think of how badly it could end. I know how badly it can end. I hope he knows we're here for him just strong as he is for us. I hope he takes care of himself. I hope his fire keeps burning bright. I hope he never forgets that it's not always what you have accomplished that matters- it's that you have to keep trying. Win or lose you have to keep going, even and especially when you really don't want to. You can't give up on yourself and your dreams and you can't stop trying to help people because of one or two or three times it doesn't go as planned. Even if it doesn't go well a million times, it could be the very next try that makes it all worth it. Don't give up on yourself, and don't give up on eachother.

The game itself was so great. I'm incredibly proud of everyone who contributed to it and I hope they all get to do what they love. And I'm not sure if it was intentional, but every character seemed to me like they had a specific fear association, and all of them resonated with me.

Now I'm usually really really good at faking it. But I'm actually really scared. Of a lot of things. Some make sense, and some dont, some I've traced back to events and some seem to come from nowhere, but I'm scared of a lot of things. The ocean. Horses. Darkness. Confrontation. Public speaking. But each of the hero's from the game had a fear association too- Uselessness. Isolation. Cowardice. Hurting people. Abandonment. And failure. I'm gonna call them by their prepicked names and not Mark's keysmash for ease of reference. Because their fears and how they respond to things both resonate with me.

Purple's insecurity, the negativity the terrorlings used against her, was that she was useless. She wasn't good at anything, she couldn't help anyone, she couldn't do anything right. And that hits me because I'm always afraid I'm not actually good at something and that others are pretending I am so they don't upset me. I love singing and my family has always told me I'm good at it (except my brother but that's what big brothers do) but what says I actually am? I'm a good mimic, I can match a song on the radio if I hear it enough but I can't read sheet music, I've made exactly one original piece, vocals only no accompaniment or acapella tones, and it was exactly as good as you'd expect from a nine year old. I love writing and some people tell me it's good but they're all my friends, would they actually tell me if it was bad? And her response is that she apologizes for everything she thinks she might have done wrong.

Jade was terrified of being isolated and alone. What better game than presentable liberty to get stuck in. They wrote out how alone they felt and how sick of it they were, how they didnt want to be here anymore. But when confronted about it they brushed it off as their own dramatics and skirted around it and played it down like it was no big deal. But it is. It's always a big deal because we arent build to be alone, genetically we're meant to be social, and it's terrifying to think that you're so alone and there's no one there who actually cares, no one actually is or wants to be your friend, they just don't want to be an asshole and tell you to get lost, but it doesn't matter because you isolate yourself, you can't leave me if I push you away first, you can't make me lonely if I make myself lonely, and it hurts so fucking much to be alone.

Peach's negativity was her cowardice. She couldn't stand up for herself, and she just let people treat her poorly because what could she say, what could she do that wouldn't make it worse? And what if they're right? For my friends I would cut a bitch. I almost got suspended for fighting over a friend. My heart was trying to explode my ribcage and I shook for ten minutes after but I did it. But when it comes to me? What's the point? I'm good at pretending I don't care and I'm good at looking unaffected by what people say but I used to be bad at hiding it, and it still hurts. I can't prove they're wrong. And I don't always want to, because maybe I deserve it. If I can't defend myself maybe they should say what they want.

Teal's negativity made her isolate herself. Because she hurt people. Everyone who tried to help her got hurt. Everyone who wanted to care or wanted to help or wanted to do anything, they got hurt. That was all she could do. Like an SCP, she was a danger to people around her and she couldn't be trusted. She didn't deserve to be rescued. I've been there. I kind of still am there. When you hurt people when you try to help, when /they/ try to help, and you don't get any better and you feel useless, like a burden, like you can only make bad things, only do bad things, only hurt people whoncare about you... eventually you want them to stop. If only so you can't hurt them anymore. Don't drown yourself trying to pull me out of the water, don't cut yourself trying to pry me out of thorns. Don't get killed trying to save me when I'm the problem that needs to be solved. It's a dark place to be. And I'm kinda glad they didnt save her. Because when you get that way, only two things will get you on track- butting heads with someone who no matter how hard you push won't let you isolate yourself (best if this is a professional, not a friend, someone who knows how to help and you have to go because you paid for the session or because someone else took you there) or hitting rock bottom harder than ever and finally accepting to yourself that you need help.

Red... Red was afraid of being abandoned. So am I. I'm so reliant on others to be even a half functional human being that being abandoned is terrifying. It could kill me. I try to not get attached so I don't have anyone to lose. It's easy, you don't care about them so when they stop talking to you it doesn't hurt. They don't ask you to hang out, they don't ask how you are, and you go your separate ways. But the backfire is that when you do get attached (it happens, when you least expect, when you let your guard down just for a second) it clings a lot harder and it hurts so much more than you expect it to. I've been pretty lucky I guess- not many people got close to me, and less of them got close and then left me. I was good being caustic and looking like the person you don't want to be friends with, so most people didn't bother. No one tried if they didnt /really really/ want to. But there's a handful that I thought would be around a long time that I haven't spoken to in years, a few who cut ties and haven't tried to talk to me and I haven't tried very hard to talk to them. (Once I had to stay after school and my dad and brother forgot about me. I was there until almost five and had to call my gramps to come get me. I cried, even though I tried so hard not to. I've always been so scared people would forget me.) And on top of that, when Red got stressed and upset, he lashed out. Specifically, he blamed others and he picked at things he knew would upset them, even if he didn't mean what he said, just so someone else would hurt. It's something I try not to think about, but I do it. I bottle up until my frustration gets so high that I pop, and the person I lash out at is usually someone who didn't deserve any of it. I always regret it. Usually as soon as I've done it. But it happens and then I can't take it back. And I always, always target something I know will get a reaction. I know my friends, I know their insecurities, and when I het upset and lash out I throw them in their faces. I curse and swear and rage, and when it clears I feel even worse than before because I know exactly what I've done and there's no excuse, no explanation that absolves me of it. I tell a friend concerned about their weight that they're fat and ugly and only hang out with me because I don't bring it up. I tell a friend who's always worried they're a bother that they're an annoying pest and they should fuck off when they're not wanted. I tell a teacher who can only bend rules so far for a student who's struggling that they're a bitch and I'm sick of them pretending to care because they don't know anything about me and I dont need faked pity, that there's nothing they could teach me and if I had any sense I'd just leave. I hurt people when I'm angry. And I can't take it back when I do.

And Blue- we saw her last, and it was a close tie in with Mark's fear as well- Failure. Blue was afraid that she wouldn't be able to help. That she wasn't good enough. Because sometimes you get it in your head that you have to be good- no, you have to be perfect. You can't fail. You can't afford to. You have to be the best, you can't leave anything to chance, you have to do it yourself, you have to fix it, you have to make things better and save everyone and protect them because if you don't then you don't know if anyone will. Because if you do anything it has to be the best or it wasn't worth doing. You can't make something mediocre, you can't draw just an okay picture or write a C grade essay or try to beat a mission but only accomplish half the goals. You have to do it all. Perfection or Death because how can you live with it if it isn't pefect? How can you go on knowing that you could have done better and you didn't? Knowing that someone else- hundreds of someone elses- were better than you? Why did you do it in the first place if no one is going to remember it or acknowledge it? (Sometimes you can convince yourself it's enough- no one saw you move that worm off the sidewalk but you helped, you didn't score better than everyone else but you were still top 5 and that will do for now- but sometimes it just sits there, nagging. It could be better. You could have gotten it if you tried harder. It doesn't make a difference and you wasted everyone's time.)

But the theme of the whole game was that sometimes, you don't do what you planned, and sometimes it isn't enough. Sometimes you lose, and sometimes you mess up, and sometimes you make mistakes. But that doesn't mean it isn't worth it. And it doesn't mean you can't do better, and it doesn't mean you can't change to be better- a better person, a better artist, a better worker, a better friend. Accept your mistakes and learn from them, and no matter how many times things go wrong, keep trying until they go right, because it's only the end when you give up. It's only over if you let it be. You can't save everyone, and you can't be the best at everything, and you're not perfect, you never will be. It doesn't mean you're bad. It just means you're human. And so is everyone else.

@hearts-and-heroes thank you for making such a great game

@markiplier thank you for being such a genuinely good person

#babble #markiplier #hearts and heroes #i have a lot of emotions #and im really bad at expressing them #but mark makes me emotional

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themoneybuff-blog · 6 years ago

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Worried About the Stock Market and Your Retirement Savings? Read This.

In the last few days, a number of readers have written to The Simple Dollar regarding the recent downturn in the stock market. Here are a few of those notes, starting with one from Dave: 45 years old, aiming to retire at 62. I have been in the aggressive portfolio in my 401(k) since signing on back in 1998 and contributed regularly. I didnt pay attention to it during 2000-2002 or in 2008 but now I pay attention and these recent drops are killing me. How bad am I hurt if I move things to a less crazy investment? and one from Charlie: 61, was thinking about retiring next year but stock market is ripping my retirement apart! Help! and one from Ally: Im started to freak out about the stock market as I see my investments in my Vanguard index funds plummeting every day. I know I need to wait it out as Im only 34 but its really starting to panic me. Intellectually, I know to stay put and watch the gains as the market recovers but I worry that I may actually need some of that money before it goes back up and start operating from a perspective of scarcity vs. abundance (even though I have lived by the rule of thumb that if I think Ill need it in 10 years, put in high interest savings instead). All of a sudden I start imagining scenarios where Ill need it sooner and put my finances in jeopardy.Please help talk me off the ledge! Were all seeing the same thing. Depending on what numbers youre using, over the last two and a half months, the stock market has lost between 10% and 15% of its value. That means, of course, that if you have a large portion of your retirement savings invested in the stock market, youve seen a similar drop in the value of your retirement savings. Part of what has made this dip so stark is that it comes at the end of a very long positive run for the stock market, dating back almost ten years. Ten years of almost constant growth in the value of the stock market is a historical run, one likely only possible because of the enormous dip of 2008 which gave the stock market a very low point to start from. As you can see, those factors have caused a lot of people to panic and consider changing their retirement investments. My advice? Well in honest truth, I have not looked at my old 403(b) or my Roth IRA in the last three months. At all. Even if I did look, I wouldnt change a thing. Heres how my thinking works on all of this. We Look at the Short Term When We Should Look at the Long Term and Thats a Mistake The stock market is an awful short-term investment. It can lose a significant percentage of its value in just a few days, often seemingly without warning to the average investor. Even over the course of a year or two, you might have individual years where it goes up 20% and other years where it goes down 40%. Its really hard to plan around that. If you are going to need your money back in less than 10 years, you probably shouldnt be invested in the stock market. The thing is, most of us are more than 10 years from retirement. Were invested in stocks as a long term investment. Even people in retirement should have some portion of their retirement savings in the stock market because theres a good chance that theyre going to be around more than 10 more years and they should be investing for that timeframe. At that point a timeline of more than a decade you have to start looking at long-term returns and averages rather than individual years, because individual years arent really all that meaningful when youre looking at time periods beyond 10 years. I like to think of the stock market as a simple gambling game. Its a model that helps me make sense of it. Imagine that theres a game where there are nine red balls and one black ball that randomly come out of a tumbler, like drawing lottery numbers. If the black ball comes out, you lose 40% of your bet. If any of the nine red balls come out, you win 10% of your bet. However, you have to bet your whole retirement savings. What do you do? Well, for me, it depends on how many times I can bet. If I can only bet once, then its probably not a worthwhile risk. I could lose 40% of my bet right away! Not good! However, if I can just stand there and keep betting more than 10 times, Im going to do it and just keep letting my bet ride over and over again. Nine times out of 10, I win 10% of my bet, which far more than makes up for the 40% I lose one time out of 10. If I think about nothing but that first ball, Im probably not going to bet and Im going to want to take my money off of the table. Its only when I think about the fact that Im going to be around for 30 or so balls to come out of the tumbler that I begin to feel good about it. (In fact, I probably dont even pay much attention at all to the individual balls coming out of the tumbler, because it really doesnt matter to me.) The thing is, its pretty scary when the black ball comes out of the tumbler. Suddenly, a large chunk of our money is gone, and its really tempting to take your bet and run away. Thats silly, though. Its like quitting a game of basketball because you missed your first shot. If you were only going to care about your first shot or your most recent shot you wouldnt bother to play that game at all. If a basketball player quit when they miss a few shots in a row, no one would ever play basketball. At the same time, no one would bet their entire life savings on one single shot of the basketball. For most people, the stock market is a very long term investment more than 10 years and making decisions on that investment based on the last month or two is a grave mistake. Its like firing Michael Jordan because he missed 10 shots in the game last night and his team lost. Instead, look at the last 10 years of stock market returns when making your decision, because thats the kind of time frame you care about. Dont look at this chart when making financial decisions; look at this one instead. In other words, look at the long term, not the short term, because if youre investing for more than 10 years down the road, the short term is meaningless. We Listen Too Much to Current News and Media and Thats a Mistake The United States currently has three different major 24 hour news channels available on most cable providers, two devoted financial television channels available on many cable providers, and countless journalists and prognosticators trying to make a name for themselves on the internet, particularly on social media. All of that has to be filled with some kind of content, and its usually whatever content that they can find that will attract eyeballs. What attracts eyeballs? Fear. Its why disasters get breathless coverage. Its why the efforts of Washington are constantly painted to be doom and gloom and disastrous and even evil. That kind of coverage is constant, too its around the clock on news networks and social media. The same exact thing is true with the stock market. A 10% drop in the stock market really isnt anything unusual it happens every few years at least but to hear the news networks and social media and the prognosticators and the talking heads tell it, its apocalypse out there. The sky is literally falling, everyone is going broke, people are jumping out of buildings on Wall Street. Its being reported as something unique and something disastrous because thats what attracts eyeballs, and eyeballs are what makes the news networks and the reporters on social media lots of money. Theres so much time to kill and space to fill that the same things get reported on over and over and over again until the urgency of the supposed disaster seems almost overwhelming, driving people to emotional extremes. My belief is that social media and cable news are not very useful for understanding the world. They present current events from the singular angle that makes them the most money and thats through pushing emotional buttons, mostly fear. That emotional button drives people to poor decisions, and its abundantly clear when it comes to finances. In other words, social media and other news sources tend to encourage people to react emotionally to things rather than rationally. Investing is a rational game rather than an emotional one; if you make emotion-driven investment decisions, youre going to lose out. Thus, at least in terms of investment decisions on the scale of the individual investor saving for retirement, you should pay no attention to the 24 hour news cycle. It nudges you toward emotional decisions rather than rational ones. We Put Our Faith in Salespeople and Thats a Mistake Another problem is that many of the people out there talking about the stock market are effectively salespeople. They want people to buy some product theyre selling, whether its an account with their brokerage, their services as an investment manager, or an investment sold by their company. In general, brokerages make money when you do something with your investments, whether its buying shares or selling shares or something like that. They want you to take action regarding your investments. So, if the stock market is doing something, they have a financial interest in making it sound like a great reason to make a move. If you tune into CNBC or Fox Business lately, all of the chatter is about moving your investment money around to avoid getting hit hard by the stock market slide. Most of that talk is coming from guests who work for brokerages, who make money when you move your investments around. Always ask yourself where your investment suggestions are coming from and why theyre being given. Yes, that includes me. I write because I believe in what Im saying, and I make money by having more readers, not by convincing anyone to take any action. The more readers I have, the more advertisement views the site gets, and the more money everyone involved makes. Thus, it is in my best interest to do my best to give realistic advice and thoughts. With the talking heads on financial television, the goal of the host is to keep you watching, while the goal of the guest is to entertain you and, along the way, try to nudge you to their point of view because the guest makes money by being entertaining (from the network) and makes money by having more customers buying and selling investments (from their own business). In other words, take the words of investment advisors on financial networks with a grain of salt. Most investment advisors will do right by you in a one-on-one situation, but thats not their goal when theyre on television. On television, theyre there to entertain, to get the name of their brokerage out there, and to nudge people to take action on their investments whether its in their best interest or not. Practical Approaches Together, these three issues along with natural human risk aversion cause people to get extremely jittery when the stock market grumbles. Every time a 10% drop happens, I get emails and messages from readers with sentiments like those expressed by Dave and Charles and Ally. While I cant offer a perfect solution for everyone, here are five practical steps you can take to help quell the desire to make abrupt retirement moves when the stock market drops. For starters, just stop paying any attention to the day to day financial news. Dont watch CNBC. Dont watch Fox Business. Dont read financial news. Leave that to people who do this for a living and might change their investments every 15 minutes to try to score a short-term buck. Thats not the situation youre in and thus most of the day to day financial news is irrelevant. It provides you with information that isnt relevant to your decisions and emotional twists designed to nudge you to make a mistake. Just stop watching its not providing value to you. While youre at it, stop paying much attention to the 24 hour news cycle. Almost all of it is driven to trigger emotions and garner eyeballs, not to actually inform you in any meaningful way. Learn from well-researched books and well-referenced articles, not from hot takes and high pressure combative guest appearances. If youre taking financial advice from someone, know who that person is, where theyre coming from, and whether theyre trying to sell you something. Who is this person who is encouraging me to sell? Why are they saying this? What do they have to gain from it? If you can clearly see how they gain from your moves, take their advice with a grain of salt. Dont look at your account balance except on a regular infrequent pattern just to make sure everythings working fine. Looking at your balance frequently makes you start to overinflate the importance of day to day changes compared to long term changes, and its the long-term changes you care about. We often buy into the idea that we should be worried if our investments have gone down the last few times weve looked at them. Know what your plan is for saving for retirement and stick to it regardless of the news. A good plan is based on principles, and for retirement, that means staying put through thick and thin and only making changes in specific situations that you considered outside of the news cycle. Stick to that plan and dont let short-term changes and emotional responses change that plan. In short, stick to the plan and stop listening to people who are just adding noise to the mix. Good luck! Related: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/worried-about-the-stock-market-and-your-retirement-savings-read-this/

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adambstingus · 7 years ago

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100 Things All Women Need To Know About Men (According to 100 Men)

Found on AskReddit.

1. Men aren’t mind readers.

Men arent mind readers…if you want something, be direct.

2. Guys are shy, too.

Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.

3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.

Don’t tell me you don’t like me because I’m a ‘nice guy’ and that most girls like ‘bad boys, and then come looking for a shoulder to cry on when he cheats on you or treats you like shit. Instead, go fuck yourself. I don’t care, because you got what you deserved. Next time, try looking for someone who cares about you, even if they’re ‘too nice.

5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.

It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.

6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.

Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.

Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.

We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.

7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.

Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.

8. We are not machines. We are human, too.

We are not machines. We get sick. We can cry. We can be goofy or funny. We can be weak or scared. We can go limp. We can complain. We can be nice and sweet. Don’t make men out to be machismo meatheads who just walk around looking for sex and expect us to always be strong and confident and take charge on every single little thing. We are human, too. It’s not bad to be a nice guy.

9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.

That some of us actually are hopeless romantics. We want to find true love, too. Even then we will still make mistakes. Some of us it will be really stupid and think that we want different women just because that’s the way we are programmed. And sometimes it takes something big to make us realize that’s not what we want.

10. You shouldnt smack us down for showing emotions.

“ If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.

Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.

If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.

We have a strong desire to protect the women in our life, whether that be our wife, our sister, or our grandmother even. We do get overprotective due to an admittedly over-reliance on our gut feelings, and we’re aware it’s annoying you, but humor us and you may be surprised with the results.

A mans younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.

We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.

I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING EMOTIONAL OR UNMANLY FFS.

11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.

You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.

12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.

Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis. It’s not a fucking game; sometimes shrinkage happens, sometimes I’m just not in the mood. I know that it’s just a game to you, but for us it’s a really big deal. Don’t know why, don’t care why, it just is.

13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.

No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.

14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.

On disagreements: Sometimes a man will disagree with you. He has reasons for it. If you present an argument, and he abruptly says OK, fine, it means you have convinced him. It probably does not mean he’s angry with you. If you then ask, Are you angry at me? and he says no, he isn’t. But if you keep asking, then eventually he will be. Or maybe it’s just me.

15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.

If you weaponize sex, that’s a quick way for us to resent you. And of course if you do not want to do it you should not, but if you treat sex like it is some kind of privilege that your guy should only get it if he has been a good boy and treat it like a reward rather than a romantic and intimate activity that is equally pleasurable for the both of you, then that is a great way to kill any affection your guy has for you.

16. We are afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.

17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.

Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.

18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.

Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some womens magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These womens magazines perception of men is ridiculous.

19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.

My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, Sorry, no thanks or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.

20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.

Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our mind. You might think we’re having doubts about all this and things are going to shit so you start acting like it and then it gets all messed up and it’s over. The truth is we’re probably just thinking about the last episode of or something like that. If you want to know, ask!

21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.

We’re perfectly willing to invest, but nonsense behavior will, little by little, cause us to disinvest. That time you said you were upset and when I asked why, you said, Guess?I pulled back a little. When you started crying instead of articulating your feelings? I pulled back a little. When you developed double standards regarding behaviors that are okay for you but NOT for me? I pulled back A LOT.

22. Do not belittle our cocks.

Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.

23. Say what you mean.

If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.

Example:

Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?

Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.

Guy:

The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.

24. Mean what you say.

This game of know what I want without me telling you bullshit has got to stop. I’m not a fuckin mind reader. I’m not in a relationship/marriage to play mind games. Tell me what’s on your mind or how you really feel, the guessing games must end. Alternatively, if you would rather me not do something, don’t tell me, ‘No, go ahead it’s fine,’ than get pissed when I do it. Just tell me you’d rather me not.

25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.

Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.

26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.

Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.

27. If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex.

If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex. If youre just going to lie there like a rag doll while we hump away, it gets boring real quick. Fuck, I could go service myself twice as fast with half the exertion if thats all its about. And on a related note, dont take masturbation personally. Its a literal physical need for men. Imagine walking around for a week with loaded sinuses and being told not to blow your nose. Thats literally how it feels down there when we’re backed up. Let us relieve a little pressure and get off our fucking backs. Its not about you.

28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.

If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.

29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

When a guy is constantly doing all the initiating, all of the oral, and all of the work with no reciprocation, don’t act surprised when he stops calling. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

I’ve heard a lot of, Well, I do a lot! Like x, y, and z! Just because it isn’t in the bedroom doesn’t mean it doesn’t count! Yes. Yes, it does mean it doesn’t count when we’re talking about sex. Doing nice things outside the bedroom doesn’t translate into appreciation for what you’re receiving inside the bedroom.

It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?

30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.

There exist men willing to have serious relationships with youbut those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.

31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.

Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.

32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.

If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.

33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.

Assuming you’re dealing with a normal male, what we say is what we mean, and what we mean is what we say. Any hidden meanings are a fiction invented by you; we don’t use that channel to communicate.

Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.

Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.

If we say we don’t care, we don’t. Especially as regards what we eat. If we say we don’t care, we’re not saying we don’t care who we eat with or whether we’ll eat, only that we don’t care we eat or we eat.

We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.

Our emotions tend to build up over time, as we quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings. Fortunately, they also fade over time without any obvious outlets, so only sustained angst or serious trauma will have a long-lasting effect.

34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.

Don’t be nice when rejecting someone. I’m a grown adult and can handle being told no. Just the other day I asked a girl what her plans were Friday and I got a I work all weekend because it’s graduation weekend, but maybe next time!

That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMENS MINDS.

P.S. If you get mad at me for something I did in a dream (I thought people joked about this until it happened to me), I now think youre batshit insane and rule number one is never stick your dick in crazy.

35. We love your big butt in those jeans.

Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin love it.

36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.

We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. Omg, i love your shirt! You are soooo. Funny!

37. Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you.

Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you. It makes things a lot easier than saying, Oh, sorry I cant make it my grandma died…my dog is sick…I have to do XYZ. Its a shitty hint, especially after having a seemingly engaging string of conversations.

38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.

Every piece of romantic advice you’ve gotten from a rom-com should be jettisoned as fast as possible. Hard to get does not work. Subtle hints are not going to be picked up on. There is no minimum waiting period for replying to texts, agreeing to a second date, resuming communicationanything. Put your cards on the table and be upfront. Men don’t hate a woman who says no; if anything, most men will be grateful that they can just move on. The happiest relationship I’ve ever been in began in one whirlwind night: We went from first date to drinks after to apartment in a single evening. I’m going to marry her once my bank balance has room for a ring in it.

40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.

Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.

41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.

When I ask, Do you know where the remote is?, I am not asking you to look for the remote. When I ask, Is this basket of laundry clean or dirty?, I am not asking you to do the laundry. When I say, We’re all out of milk, I am not asking you to drop everything and go shopping. For fuck’s sake, I’m just trying to exchange information with you. I’m not trying to drop subtle hints that I am unhappy and need you to do something, my God.

42. Please respect our privacy.

Oh yes, another thing: If I tell you, Please respect our privacy, what happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom, and you turn around and tell all your friends…I will be upset and the relationship will probably not last.

43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.

If we ask, What’s wrong? and you answer, Nothing, we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.

44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.

Mentioning how many guys are going for you/chasing you doesn’t create the narrative of, Oh damn, she’s a hot commodity, better try harder. Instead its, Fuck, chasing her seems like it would be a lot of drama, better skip this one.

45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.

All men are different and they should be treated as such.

47. If you want us to do something, expect that we’ll do it our way.

If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin do it. This is the price of delegation.

48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.

Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.

49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you.

If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you. A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.

50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.

We can see through the Im fine bullshit. But if you say it three times, we’re going to let it go. It’s not because we aren’t aware it’s bullshit, and it’s not because we don’t careit’s because we’re not interested in playing stupid games.

51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.

If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.

52. Just tell us what you want to eat!

What do you want to eat. pls.

53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

54. We can’t always tell when you’re flirting.

Don’t forget that one woman’s subtle hint’ is another woman’s ‘What? Are you kidding? I was fixing my hair, not flirting, you creep.

55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.

What makes sex good? One thing more than anything. ENTHUSIASM. It doesn’t matter how hot you are if I’m banging you and you seem bored. Or if the BJ is like a chore or something. Nothing kills the mood quicker.

56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.

We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.

57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.

Ive never owned a gremlin, so please don’t expect me to understand your feeding patterns and be able to predict when you’re going to become an evil monster because all you’ve eaten was some Melba toast 12 hours ago.

59. Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us.

Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us. It’s called Creep and encompasses Not my type to Level 3 sex offender and everything in between. It’s vastly subjective, applied liberally with very broad brushstrokes, and can occur with something as simple as looking past you to the beer menu and occasionally crossing glances. The majority of guys would really only like to: a) talk like adults, b) ask you to please step aside so we can get to the bartender, or c) continue being subconsciously aware of your existence but actively thinking about nothing. Indifference, the ultimate villainy.

60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey. Please stop making this fucking true.

61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.

If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.

62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

63. Women change and men don’t.

Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they dont.

64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.

A little mystery & drawn-out flirting is good, but seriously, dont let it go on too long. Most guys are talking to more than one girl. Talking, not banging. And we’ll probably go with the one that jerks us around the least. Also when you asked what we’re thinking about & we say ‘nothing, we are not lying.

65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.

If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.

66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.

A man who treats people who have lower status (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.

67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.

Men are actually very, very good listeners. We pay attention to what you actually say. If you say yes but you meant no, then the breakdown of communication is with you, not us. It’s really not our responsibility to learn what you really mean when you say something completely different.

68. We think in boxes.

Our manner of thinking is pretty different from women’s. The best analogy I have heard is that men think in boxes: If you want to talk about camping, we will take out the camping box; if you want to talk about houses, we put the camping box away and pull out the housing box. There is one box that has nothing in it and, if given the choice, that is the box we will go to every time and literally think about nothing. The nothing box is our favorite one.

69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do

Just because we both have the day off doesnt mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.

70. Women are hornier than men.

You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.

71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’

Im surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information. 1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you. 2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time. 3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to ¼ (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult. 4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.

72. We are much simpler than you think we are.

We are much simpler than you think we are. When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.

73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.

We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.

74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.

GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.

75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.

That men really don’t have anything behind what they’re saying. Like, if you’re going out to dinner and he says, That’s an interesting dress, literally he means it’s interesting. He doesn’t mean that it’s ugly, he doesn’t mean that you look fat, that your hair is ugly, that you have a nasty pimple on your chin, he really just thinks your dress is interesting. All the while you’re overanalyzing what he’s saying and thinking of 400 different meanings to what he said, he’s onto thinking about what he wants to eat at the restaurant.

76. When we say, I love you, we mean it.

When you say, I love you, I’m not always going to parrot it back. The reason is because love isn’t a Pavlovian response. When I say, I love you it is with thoughtful intent. I want my I love yous to have meaning.

77. Hints don’t work.

Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.

78. Don’t try to make us jealous.

Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.

79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.

If you ask us for advice, we will give you what we believe to be the best course of action. 90% of the time you will ignore us. 95% of the time you will think it’s stupid. But 99% of the time, it will be the simplest, most direct method to solve the problem. That’s what we do, we listen to your problems to solve them. It’s not what you want, but it’s what you get.

80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.

If you want to have sex, don’t wait for men to initiate. If a man always has to initiate into sex he will feel like you don’t want it and just do it because you make him feel good but don’t actually feel any pleasure yourself.

Also , when initiating, be pretty straightforward or use very obvious hints because we don’t get it. If you start touching a guy’s dick and he doesn’t understand that you want to have sex, yeah, that’s wrong. But if you give some sort of glance or just say something like, Oh, it’s been a long day and we’re supposed to work from there to understand that you want to have sex that’s not gonna work.

81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.

A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.

82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.

Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.

83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.

If we tell you something about our sexual history or sexual predilections, it doesn’t mean we actually want to talk about or hear about it every time you think about it. We opened up enough to tell you some kooky, borderline stuff we did in the past; leave it alone, don’t bring it up, and definitely don’t bring it up lightly or use it as ammunition during an argument, and what’s more don’t tell your friends about it. This is personal stuff, and at some point grown-up relationships should be about integrity, mutual respect, and trusteven beyond the bounds of the relationship.

84. Give us feedback during sex.

Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.

What may work for one, may not work for the other. So during sex, feel free to give feedback. Faster? Slower? Softer? Harder? Let us know what works, what doesn’t. Can we be doing things better? Tell us.

I dated one girl for over a year who told me she didn’t like how I fingered her. Seriously, she didn’t speak up about it for over a year because she felt awkward about it. So she essentially just wasted our time. If I am finger-banging or eating pussy, I’m not doing it for my sake. A little feedback and guidance isn’t going to kill my mood.

85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.

Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.

86. If you like a guy, tell him.

I don’t know if every guy would agree with this, but I don’t think it’s the rejection we’re afraid of. It’s the possibility of looking like some creep/loser if we ask you out and you say no. It’s the way you’ll see us from then on out that makes us afraid. The vulnerability. So honestly, if you like a guy, tell him. No guy should ever have a problem with a girl doing that; there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t make us have to go through the whole fear of asking you out if you already want to tell us yourself.

87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.

Women of the world!!!!

Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!

Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong.

Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame.

I never cheated and never thought of cheating.

88. We need time with our friends, too.

Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.

89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.

If we shut down or stop responding during an argument, it doesn’t mean we stopped caring about your feelings or that you aren’t worth talking to or that we’re ignoring you. It means we just don’t want to make the argument worse or last longer than it needs to, because chances are, the argument wasn’t worth the energy to begin with.

90. Fuck off with the hints.

Fuck off with the hints (both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.

We don’t get tired of your boobs. It’s a joy to see them literally every time. The same with touching them. You might not understand it…frankly, I don’t think we do, either. But for straight men, boobs are the physical embodiment of I’ve been with my SO for almost a decade and my eyes still up light every time. I’m not a very emotive person, but she’s noted my look of genuine happiness when I see them.

94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.

Two things: 1. Unless you have a specific reason, don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends. It can be a little insulting.2. Men are very literal. If we tell you we love you or that you’re beautiful, we tend to mean exactly that.

95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.

Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurteven if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.

96. Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.

Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.

96. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.

When a breakup does happen don’t go trying to give back things we gave to you e.g., jewelry, etc. A) we find it hurtful, like there is no sentimental value to our time together. B) what am I gonna do with girls’ jewelry/stuff? C) it may just end up coming across like you are trying to intentionally cause us pain by giving such things back, like a reminder of your existence.

98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.

The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend ‘chasing’ you. If I’m interested, and you’re interested, there should be no reason for you to still be playing hard to get and taking longer than two requests for your time to agree to a date. Either commit or tell me you’re not interested. I’m 30. Dating at this age consists of ‘Are we doing this or not? I got shit to do.’

99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.

If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.

100. We don’t run the world.

There is a mountain of men that are really struggling. We don’t run the world. In fact, a very large percentage of us will kill ourselves. 79% of suicides are males (US). White males represent 70% of suicides overall.

And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.

The Men’s Rights movement is something that seems to piss off a lot of people. But this is one of our biggest concerns. Personally, I get very upset when I hear economically debunked wage gap lies perpetrated repeatedly, year-after-year. Wage gap. #HeForShe. #BringBackOurGirls. Mansplaining. Manspreading. Alarming rate of suicide in males? Crickets. Massively disproportionate rates of violent crime? BORING. Schoolboys being burned alive or forced into being child soldiers? #BringBackOurBoys? HA! More like #BringBackMyKardashians, am I right!?

There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.

Crickets.

In the past week, the woman who once claimed, Women have always been the primary victims of war made another sexist plea to further denigrate the worth of male life. In spite of the FACT that women receive 63% (SIXTY-THREE PERCENT) lighter sentences than men for the same crime if they are prosecuted at ALL, Hillary Clinton feels that the criminal justice system is unfair…to women. Because putting women in prison takes them away from their families. And, obviously, men being away from their families is no big deal.

Advocates for the acknowledgement of men’s issues do not hate you, women. But I do hate every last harpy that has shouted down people (men, women, trans alike) just trying to speak about men’s struggles. I do hate the COUNTLESS not-true feminists I see littering Twitter with continued attempts to minimize men’s issues, or proudly posting their #MaleTears selfies. I DON’T hate, but proudly champion, the amazing women that ARE trying to bring light to these issues. The kinds of women who DON’T just sit there when their friends are all joking about how men are worthless or only good for one thing (thanks, wife, for calling out double standards).

And that’s why I don’t hate women. Like most MRAs. We love women. We’ve most likely been raised by amazing women, grown up with them as siblings, dated and married them. There are mountains of you that are NOT the problem. But we need your help. We need your cooperation and insistence on fact-based politics, not gender-based. The wage gap continues to be an issue liberal candidates will espouse, in the face of economic and statistical proof to the illegitimacy of the argument, simply because a large percentage of people seem to want to hear it. There is a race, it seems, to victimhood. Who am I to judge most things, but I feel fairly confident in saying that the prevention of male suicide and homelessness deserves more of our airtime, advertising, outreach, and funding than a wage gap myth that is repeatedly debunked under the slightest bit of academic scrutiny (or at the very least, reduced to a range that is within a standard margin of error).

This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of misogyny. I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/170128730107

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samanthasroberts · 7 years ago

Text

100 Things All Women Need To Know About Men (According to 100 Men)

Found on AskReddit.

1. Men aren’t mind readers.

Men arent mind readers…if you want something, be direct.

2. Guys are shy, too.

Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.

3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.

5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.

It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.

6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.

Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.

Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.

We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.

7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.

Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.

8. We are not machines. We are human, too.

9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.

10. You shouldnt smack us down for showing emotions.

“ If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.

Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.

If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.

A mans younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.

We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.

I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING EMOTIONAL OR UNMANLY FFS.

11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.

You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.

12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.

13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.

No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.

14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.

15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.

16. We are afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.

17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.

Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.

18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.

Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some womens magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These womens magazines perception of men is ridiculous.

19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.

My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, Sorry, no thanks or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.

20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.

21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.

22. Do not belittle our cocks.

Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.

23. Say what you mean.

If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.

Example:

Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?

Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.

Guy:

The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.

24. Mean what you say.

25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.

Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.

26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.

Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.

27. If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex.

28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.

If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.

29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?

30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.

There exist men willing to have serious relationships with youbut those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.

31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.

Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.

32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.

If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.

33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.

Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.

Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.

We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.

34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.

That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMENS MINDS.

35. We love your big butt in those jeans.

Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin love it.

36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.

We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. Omg, i love your shirt! You are soooo. Funny!

37. Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you.

38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.

40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.

Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.

41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.

42. Please respect our privacy.

43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.

If we ask, What’s wrong? and you answer, Nothing, we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.

44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.

45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.

All men are different and they should be treated as such.

47. If you want us to do something, expect that we’ll do it our way.

If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin do it. This is the price of delegation.

48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.

Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.

49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you.

If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you. A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.

50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.

51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.

If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.

52. Just tell us what you want to eat!

What do you want to eat. pls.

53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

54. We can’t always tell when you’re flirting.

Don’t forget that one woman’s subtle hint’ is another woman’s ‘What? Are you kidding? I was fixing my hair, not flirting, you creep.

55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.

56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.

We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.

57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.

59. Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us.

60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey. Please stop making this fucking true.

61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.

If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.

62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

63. Women change and men don’t.

Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they dont.

64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.

65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.

If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.

66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.

A man who treats people who have lower status (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.

67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.

68. We think in boxes.

69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do

Just because we both have the day off doesnt mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.

70. Women are hornier than men.

You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.

71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’

Im surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information. 1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you. 2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time. 3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to 1/4 (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult. 4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.

72. We are much simpler than you think we are.

We are much simpler than you think we are. When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.

73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.

We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.

74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.

GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.

75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.

76. When we say, I love you, we mean it.

77. Hints don’t work.

Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.

78. Don’t try to make us jealous.

Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.

79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.

80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.

81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.

A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.

82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.

Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.

83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.

84. Give us feedback during sex.

Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.

85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.

Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.

86. If you like a guy, tell him.

87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.

Women of the world!!!!

Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!

Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong.

Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame.

I never cheated and never thought of cheating.

88. We need time with our friends, too.

Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.

89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.

90. Fuck off with the hints.

Fuck off with the hints (both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.

94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.

95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.

Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurteven if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.

96. Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.

Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.

96. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.

98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.

99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.

If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.

100. We don’t run the world.

And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.

There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.

Crickets.

This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of misogyny. I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/01/25/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years ago

Text

100 Things All Women Need To Know About Men (According to 100 Men)

Found on AskReddit.

1. Men aren’t mind readers.

Men arent mind readers…if you want something, be direct.

2. Guys are shy, too.

Guys are shy, too. Don’t be afraid to walk up and talk.

3. Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

Not all men are rapists and sometimes a compliment really is just a compliment.

4. If you want a ‘bad boy,’ expect to be treated badly.

5. It’s not OK to physically assault men, period.

It’s not OK to physically assault men, period. It doesn’t matter how small you are and how big the guy is. If you don’t disagree, walk away, voice your concern, or speak to the law.

6. We are just as emotionally complex as women are.

Men’s emotional lives are, pretty much across the board, just as complex and nuanced as women’s.

Also, there’s a whole ecosystem of subtle communication, competition, and one-upmanship between men (think Alpha/Beta but way more complicated) that is probably largely invisible to you.

We’ve had to navigate through it all our whole lives and sometimes it stinks.

7. Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too.

Guys like getting compliments about their appearance, too; even just minor ones feel nice.

8. We are not machines. We are human, too.

9. Some of us actually are hopeless romantics.

10. You shouldnt smack us down for showing emotions.

“ If we open up to you, let us do it instead of smacking us down for being emotional, you’ll have a friend for life.

Don’t assume what movies teach about men is at all accurate; seriously, my last girlfriend did and was perpetually worried I’d cheat even though I find the concept abhorrent.

If we’re quiet, it means we’re thinking, not angry.

A mans younger siblings are extremely important; do not insult them if you want us to stay. Talking from experience here.

We worry over our bodies constantly, media bombards us with an ideal you have to work for years to attain and keep, similar to women, let us talk about it if we need to.

I’ll say it again: IF WE OPEN UP TO YOU, LET US!!! DON’T FUCKING SMACK US DOWN FOR BEING EMOTIONAL OR UNMANLY FFS.

11. Rom-coms don’t work in real life.

You know those movies where the woman is unpredictable, annoying, and generally crazy, but the man she is after falls in love with her anyway? That doesn’t work in real life. Seriously.

12. Never, ever, EVER make fun of a man’s penis.

13. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, so I won’t treat you like a princess.

No I won’t treat you like a princess. I’m not inheriting a kingdom, I’m looking for a life partner. My equal.

14. If you keep asking whether we’re angry with you, eventually we will be.

15. Don’t use sex as a weapon.

16. We are afraid of rejection.

Fear of rejection can be downright terrifying. I am lucky that my wife was direct and asked me out.

17. Give us the benefit of the doubt.

Unless we’re fighting, when we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the options is bad, we meant the good one.

18. We don’t think about sex every seven seconds.

Men don’t think about sex every 7 seconds. I read this from some womens magazine whilst waiting in the dentist’s office. These womens magazines perception of men is ridiculous.

19. Just say, ‘Sorry, no thanks’ if you don’t want to go out with us.

My deal is, if I ask a girl out and she’s not interested, saying, Sorry, no thanks or a variation thereof is perfectly acceptable. I’ll be more than happy to move the fuck on.

20. Don’t ever assume what’s going on in our minds.

21. Nonsense behavior will cause us to pull back.

22. Do not belittle our cocks.

Unless the guy is super hung, any insinuation that his cock is even a little less than ideal in terms of size hurts a lot. Even some hung guys actually feel like their cock is too small.

23. Say what you mean.

If you say something we’re most likely going to take it at face value.

Example:

Guy: Hey babe I’m going to go play cards at Zach’s tonight is that all right?

Girl: Yeah, that’s fine, stay out all night, I’m going to bed anyway.

Guy:

The guy was giving her the option to keep him home and she told him she was fine with it and she was tired.

24. Mean what you say.

25. Stop hinting and just tell us what you want.

Your hints are useless. Say what you want. Also, when we pee sometimes we still get some on the floor. Even as adults.

26. If you want to see us happy, just get naked.

Trust me, when a woman is naked, 99% of the time we are happy beyond compare. No matter what you think you look like.

27. If youre not interested in the sex, were not interested in the sex.

28. If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you.

If a guy likes you a lot, he will make time for you. If you are getting a lot of maybes and excuses, just move on.

29. It doesn’t feel good to have a partner that does nothing but take.

It’s like giving a dog a treat three days after he brings you the paper. How’s he know WTF you just gave him a treat for?

30. Bars aren’t the best place to meet the best guys.

There exist men willing to have serious relationships with youbut those men probably don’t spend their time at bars chatting you up the first time you glance in their direction.

31. Sometimes we just like to hold our balls.

Sometimes, when we’re on the couch, we just like to hold our balls. We’re not sexually aroused, we just like to hold them and know they are there.

32. If you routinely slap your man’s hand away, don’t be surprised if he stops reaching.

If you routinely slap your man’s hand away when he reaches for sex…don’t be surprised if he gets the point and stops reaching.

33. We quite often lack the emotional intelligence or desire to articulate our feelings.

Conversely, do not use obfuscated communication methods with men for important topics; the odds of us missing or misinterpreting such a communication are high.

Do not talk about problems unless you are prepared to discuss the solution.

We’re generally shit at going to the doctors or dentists. Even in countries where healthcare is free. Remind us to check for cancer from time to time, or do it for us where possible/appropriate.

34. Don’t be nice when rejecting us.

That could be a hint or genuine statement. Don’t leave shit up in the air, just be straight with us because for the love of god MEN CANNOT READ WOMENS MINDS.

35. We love your big butt in those jeans.

Your butt looks big in those jeans, and we fuckin love it.

36. We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound.

We pretend not to notice how fake your compliments sound. Omg, i love your shirt! You are soooo. Funny!

37. Its okay to tell us, No, I would not be interested in going out with you.

38. A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

A conversation you had in your head is not a conversation that actually happened.

39. Ignore all romantic advice from rom-coms.

40. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language.

Men are not fucking mind readers. If you want us to understand something, then articulate in clear language. We play draughts, not chess.

41. Men don’t drop subtle hints.

42. Please respect our privacy.

43. If you say, ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ we will believe you.

If we ask, What’s wrong? and you answer, Nothing, we will behave exactly as if everything is OK.

44. Don’t try to make us jealous by talking about other guys.

45. We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

We are as insecure about ourselves as you are about yourselves.

46. All men are different and they should be treated as such.

All men are different and they should be treated as such.

47. If you want us to do something, expect that we’ll do it our way.

If you want me to do something, expect that I’ll do it my way. If you want something done your way, you fuckin do it. This is the price of delegation.

48. We’re not always in the mood for sex.

Just because we can’t get an erection at a given moment, that doesn’t mean we’re not into you or that we don’t want to have sex. It’s not that simple.

49. If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you.

If we compliment you, the best thing you can say is, Thank you. A self-deprecating joke about how we’re wrong is rarely charming.

50. We’re not interested in playing stupid games.

51. If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends.

If I tell you something in confidence, it’s really not OK for you to tell your best friends. And it goes both ways.

52. Just tell us what you want to eat!

What do you want to eat. pls.

53. If you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

Most of us don’t get subtle hints; if you want us to do something, just come out and say it!

54. We can’t always tell when you’re flirting.

Don’t forget that one woman’s subtle hint’ is another woman’s ‘What? Are you kidding? I was fixing my hair, not flirting, you creep.

55. Your enthusiasm is what makes sex good for us.

56. We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING.

We can and do LITERALLY think of nothing. NOTHING. No thought, no music in our head, just nothing. Complete silence in our head. It’s so calming and relaxing.

57. If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

If you ask for my opinion, don’t get upset when I tell you my opinion.

58. We can’t predict when you’re going to act like an evil gremlin.

59. Men have a C-word as well that we hate to have attached to us.

60. We want black and white, so stop giving us grey.

I read a quote once that said something to the effect of: Guys want black and white and girls can only give grey. Please stop making this fucking true.

61. Don’t look for insults in everything we say to you.

If I say something to you, and it could possibly be interpreted multiple ways, I didn’t mean the one that pisses you off. Don’t look for insults in everything someone says to you.

62. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

We like to be wooed as well. We start to shut down when all the romance is coming from our end.

63. Women change and men don’t.

Men fall for women and expect them never to change. But they do. Women fall for men and want to change them. But they dont.

64. We’ll probably go with the girl that jerks us around the least.

65. If we ask you to play a video game with us, that means we really like you.

If a man asks you to play a video game with him, and actually takes the time and patience to teach you how to play it, he really fucking likes you and wants to spend HOURS of quality time with you.

66. A man who treats waiters with respect is trustworthy.

A man who treats people who have lower status (e.g., waiters) with respect is trustworthy. A man who does not is not.

67. Men are actually very, very good listeners.

68. We think in boxes.

69. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what we want to do

Just because we both have the day off doesnt mean we have to fill it with shit to do. Sometimes doing nothing is exactly what I want to do.

70. Women are hornier than men.

You are hornier than us. Fuck what they told you. It’s true.

71. Never, ever call our penis ‘cute.’

Im surprised by the lack of penis knowledge most women possess, so here’s some information. 1. When we pee, it’s not this magical stream that starts and stops without dripping, and it doesn’t always shoot in a straight line. It can, and sometimes will, shoot out in multiple directions simultaneously at times. We’re not peeing on the seat on purpose, and it’s as frustrating to us as it is to you. 2. Like the joke by Dane Cook, our penis is kind of like an amoeba. It’s constantly changing shape, and you never really know what he’s going to look like at any given time. 3. To add on to the above post, let’s also talk about shrinkage. When we’re dehydrated, been swimming in the pool, or have just been generally very active, he’s going to be a shadow of himself when released to the world. We’re literally talking 1/3 to 1/4 (sometimes even below) his full size. This is expected, but still a bit emasculating. Be an adult. 4. Never, ever, call him cute. Unless you want to talk about how big he is, don’t say a word.

72. We are much simpler than you think we are.

We are much simpler than you think we are. When you hear hoofbeats, think Horses, not Zebras.

73. We get annoyed when we find out you told your best friends our confidential secrets.

We get annoyed when we find out your best friends know everything about our relationship, including the secrets we told you in confidentiality.

74. GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT.

GIRLS. CAN. ASK. GUYS. OUT. I cannot tell you how often it gets asked on Yik Yak at my university or I overhear girls deliberating over it with their friends if they can ask a guy out.

75. Don’t look for hidden meaning in what we say.

76. When we say, I love you, we mean it.

77. Hints don’t work.

Hints don’t work. If you want something, ask for it. If you expect him to read your mind, you’re going to be disappointed a lot.

78. Don’t try to make us jealous.

Don’t try to make us jealous by pretending to like other guys. A lot of guys will just back off if they think you’re into someone else.

79. We listen to your problems so we can solve them.

80. Don’t wait for us to initiate sex.

81. A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved.

A lot of us want a woman that will make us feel loved, not one who just gets loved.

82. Sometimes we just like to be alone.

Sometimes men just like to be alone; it’s not that we’re angry with you or ignoring you, we just like to be alone occasionally.

83. Don’t tell your friends about our sexual secrets.

84. Give us feedback during sex.

Every vagina and their owner is different. Much like how every penis and their owner is different.

85. Constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes us wonder why we’re actually there.

Maybe it’s just me, but constantly being on your phone while we’re out together makes me wonder why I’m actually there.

86. If you like a guy, tell him.

87. Don’t blame us for things we do in YOUR dreams.

Women of the world!!!!

Guys cannot cheat in your dreams!

Three times it happened with an ex of mine. Three times she awoke in a complete strop, of course being the ever caring SO at the time I ask what’s wrong.

Supposedly I cheated with her best friend three times in HER dreams and I’m the one to blame.

I never cheated and never thought of cheating.

88. We need time with our friends, too.

Just because I want to spend the rest of my life with you does not mean I can’t have time with friends. Time apart is sometimes just as important as time together.

89. We shut down because arguing isn’t worth it.

90. Fuck off with the hints.

Fuck off with the hints (both, the “blatantly obvious” and subtle). We prefer direct, clear communication. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

91. Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

Guys like being the little spoon sometimes, too.

92. Our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

When we’re spreading our legs, it’s most likely because our balls are uncomfortable. Side note, our legs are a Venus flytrap for our dicks.

93. We don’t get tired of your boobs.

94. Don’t assume that we wanna cheat on you with our female friends.

95. Even if you hit us playfully, it still hurts.

Just because a man is physically bigger than you doesn’t mean that punching, kicking, or slapping him doesn’t hurteven if it’s done playfully. We aren’t trees or rocks. Pain still hurts.

96. Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy.

Im not obligated to still be as attracted to you if you get fat and unhealthy. I feel this goes both ways.

96. When we break up, please keep the jewelry we gave you.

98. The older we get, the less time we’re willing to spend “chasing” you.

99. If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions.

If you bring us problems, we will offer solutions. That is our way of showing that we have listened and that we care.

100. We don’t run the world.

And yet, not a single candidate seems to be expressing any desire to combat any of this. As have no candidates in decades.

There is a vast lack of perspective missing from today’s social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and ideologues. Men are struggling. Boys are struggling. Worldwide, even.

Crickets.

This simple belief will undoubtedly be met with shouts of misogyny. I am a misogynist simply for prioritizing a concrete, factual narrative that prioritizes a life-and-death issue.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/100-things-all-women-need-to-know-about-men-according-to-100-men/

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