#is it just me or has it been ages since i posted my last artwork

[skrimbloz]

My favourite robot girly!!! ⭐️💫

Inspired by this post, Pixal really suits the shaved sides and I think I might draw her with them more often!!

[koi-illust]

[StarWars][BobaDin][LukeDin]

Sons (of BobaDin & LukeDin)

I'm in the middle of the Inktober challenge (posting on my IG story if you're interested). Sorry for the wait for my new artwork if anyone's been waiting...🫣

Anyway, inspired by my fellow artist, I decided to draw the offspring of Boba/Din and Luke/Din. I'm having a hard time now determining which pair is my OTP, so I decided they're both my OTP and drew the sons of both pairs in the same piece.

These two baby boys can exist in the same universe or not, depending on what plot you prefer. However, I have a somewhat unethical feeling that these two could make a good couple if they're not half-brothers... (Yeah, I know in some stories, they can be a couple if you don't mind the ethical issues).

I borrowed the clothing from kid Boba and Padawan but blended in "red," which comes from the traditional colors of Din's birth country, Aq Vetina.

The son of BobaDin

has Boba & Din's curls, Boba's eyebrows & lips (and probably the height, though it's hard to tell at his age), and Din's eyes & nose. He always carries a vibro-knife with him, began training at a very young age, and wants to be a great warrior like his fathers. He’s kind of grumpy but has a soft heart and is very protective of Din (who gave birth to him) and his green brother. He often looks reluctant to play with Grogu because he wants to spend most of his time training, but Grogu knows, just like everybody else, that he loves playing with his brother and cares deeply for his family!

The son of LukeDin

also has curls from Din (yes, because I love curls! Din is also the one who gave birth to him, as you all know I'm a huge sucker for bottom Din). He has Luke's hair color, eyes, nose, chin, and Force abilities, as well as Din's eyebrows, eye color, lips, and probably height. He has a playful mind, so he has no problem playing and causing mayhem together with Grogu. He has a strong Force connection like Luke, but unlike Grogu, who is prone to becoming a Mandalorian, he wants to be a Jedi under Luke's training. Although he appears confident and relaxed, he’s quite insecure about his abilities due to having two famous dads, he faces a lot of pressure others can't understand.

About how they refer to their fathers

Since Boba and Din are both Mandalorians, it can be confusing for calling them both "Buir." In my research, "Papa" is a term of endearment for "father" in Spanish and since Pedro is a Latino, so...

It's relatively easy for LukeDin's son to call his fathers: Din is "Buir," and Luke is "Dad." "Dad" has a more casual vibe, which I think suits his personality.

Okay, that's it! Hope you enjoy my boys, and sorry for babbling again. The last thing is that I have another question for you:

Yeah, I know there’s a BIG ISSUE in there, which is why I’m asking. I’m curious about what people think about such a thing, feel free to discuss with me, no judgment here no matter what your answer is!

[baskeigh-ball]

Ignoring the fact that ibis had the ai paint feature a couple years before this whole ai fiasco, after seeing your post, I decided to try it out to see if it really held up. I already knew what you said made no sense, as even stuff like ai painting requires heavy human input that isn't just someone typing a prompt in a thing and looking through thousands of images and somehow still calling it 'art'. Really, it's just some weird advanced bucket.

The ibis ai paint... really sucks. I'm pretty sure it hasn't even been touched since it was added. No matter what I did, I got random colours and whatever colours I had put there looked like it were from a filter, not to mention how my lineart bled everywhere like it was blurred out.

Ibis isn't problematic for adding that feature as not only was it added ages ago, but it was also just a gimmick only added because a few more popular paid programs added them, like Clip Studio Paint. I highly doubt even the company took it seriously considering how poorly built it is. This is actually the one time I'm glad some feature in an app sucks so much.

Another reason why ibis isn't problematic by the mere feature alone is that, when you look at the artists making content during the time of that update, it was received with humour. It was something fun to try, but ultimately dismissed for actual artwork, as nobody would use it to fully paint their works. Nowadays we see something slapped with the words 'ai' and think that it's instantly bad due to the latest issues with it and big corperations/ certain production companies but it isn't. It's just a lot of people abusing what was previously some fun gimmick, which it can still be, and for certain apps, still is. Nobody throws pitchforks at character ai, after all.

You can tell just by the size of this that I'm procrastinating on something. Ima go and let this rot away in your askbox now lol

You really thought this would fade away in my ask box, mwahahaha /j

I wanna start off by saying thank you for holding me accountable, I will admit that I got buzzworded pretty hard in this situation lmao

This information came as a surprise to me-- I was seeing posts pop up within the past week complaining about the ai feature on ibis, so I assumed it was recent. As it turns out, after reading your ask, I discovered that I got a few wires crossed! Because yes, the auto paint feature I referred to in my post has been around for years now, and was never taken seriously anyways

So that was my bad (and yea ur right it's completely unusable, lmao)

But as it turns out, the feature that people have been complaining about DID come out recently. It was called the AI Example feature, I think the idea was that you make a simple drawing and the AI adds 99% of the detail and color, which I've seen a bunch of other programs do.

...and then it was immediately removed due to some pretty major backlash, which, duh

^ This is the only evidence I can find of the 11.2.0 update that included the AI feature on the actual site; their update history stops at 11.1.0. But there's also the news page about the removal of the update, so it's not like they're trying to pretend it never happened.

So tl;dr, I jumped on the hate train a little too quickly and never did enough research to figure out what the actual update was, and that it's been removed by now anyway (which I couldn't have known until today, ofc, but i did kinda post that thing about ibis today so it's still a pretty major oopsie)

I think I can say with confidence now that I agree, ibis paint isn't problematic to use-- they made a mistake with this update, but they actually listened to their users and removed it LITERALLY the next day. So, thanks for letting me know! I'll also edit my last post to prevent any misinformation, just in case people make the same mistake I did :]

[oswildin]

“WELL I GUESS THAT’S WORTH A LOOK…”

FIC MASTERLIST // TIKTOK // PLAYLISTS // ART

DO NOT REPOST MY WORK (ART OR FICS).

i mainly write for loki (mcu), but have one shots for other fandoms and characters like star wars, the boys, the last of us (hbo), the amazing spider-man, doctor who and moon knight.

My thoughts on Loki (and related media) compilation

about me

name: gigs or oswald // pronouns: she/they // age: 21+ // personality: INFP // autistic

active fandoms: marvel (mcu), doctor who, the boys tv, the mandalorian, the last of us (hbo), house of the dragon

favourite characters: loki, sylvie, nebula, agatha harkness, wanda maximoff, kate bishop, yelena belova, moon knight, tasm!peter parker, clara oswald, the master (dhawan & missy), the doctor, (fave is 12)

favourite albums: artpop (lady gaga), the family jewels (marina), vessel (twenty one pilots), too weird to live (p!atd), rise & fall (chappell roan), all my demons (aurora)

favourite song of all time: take on me - a-ha

hobbies: making music, writing poetry, making fanfics/povs, drawing (new to digital art making)

other general info: i’m autistic, have been a tumblr user since the golden days - yes i lived through superwholock lmao. love comedies (rom-coms are a guilty pleasure). favourite marvel film is, ofc, thor ragnarok (comfort film). been a loki stan since 2012/2013. favourite sit-coms have to be superstore, the office us and modern family. studied media analysis.

why is my blog called ‘what a world for a one finned goldfish’?: it’s a reference to gus from moon knight, steven’s one-finned goldfish, but also that in a way I feel like a one-finned goldfish in this weird, scary world made for neurotypicals lol.

what is my blog?: a mess lmao. i mostly come on here to reblog, stare at gifs for hours, appreciate peoples writing, fangirl and occasionally write or make stupid text posts.

polite asks and disclaimers

- this blog is safe space. dni if you’re a bigot (ableist, homophobic, transphobic, racist… you get the idea, it is not welcome here.)

- no fandom drama, no ship wars, i frankly do not care or wish to argue with strangers on the internet! personally, i think the whole thing is silly. but go off besties, just not on my posts please! be respectful. lokius & sylki shippers welcome, just be kind. i am a multi-shipper. I do not follow the drama, i keep to myself.

- i’m open to discussion and conversation, not arguments, especially when it comes to certain characters or media or whatever. it’s okay that we have different opinions. it’s okay that you may not like something and i do. i promise, it is okay.

- please do not repost without permission - as in, copy and paste… or “steal” if you will. if you are inspired by my work, credit me. that’s all i ask.

- most of my writing is sfw and gender neutral unless specified, i do not write smut. i just can’t do it, hats off to those who write it eloquently and elegantly, truly!

- let’s all be kind to one another.

Basically all you need to know about me is that this is the most accurate depiction you’ll ever need of me:

BANNERS ARE MY OWN ARTWORK (POSE REFERENCE: X)

[vladdyissues]

It's so cute that you uploaded some puffy, you're so kind 😭💞

But I have a question, why did they even block his account? How does Tumblr block an account? He didn't upload anything bad [?]

To the best of my knowledge—and I say this because I did not see every single one of Puffy's posts—Puffy did everything that Tumblr requires when it comes to posting "mature" artwork. She tagged her posts, used Community Labels, cropped and/or censored thumbnails, and made use of the "Read More" option. She was bolder than me when it came to posting certain art styles and speaking unabashedly, but that's a difference in personality. Puffy is a free spirit, incredibly witty, and absolutely hilarious. I'm old and crotchety and try to avoid drama if I can help it—not to say that Puffy in any way invited or deserved termination. She did not.

But she was no match for a targeted mass-reporting campaign. And, unfortunately, there's no way to know just how many people were involved or how much harassment she's been receiving since she joined Tumblr. I know there were at least three asks, likely more, and one rude comment left on one of her artworks early on.

But Tumblr has a poor track record when it comes to making decisions and meting out justice. They don't typically perform thorough investigations, they panic when they see certain words, and they're also prone to outrageous hypocrisy—like the fact that gifs of graphic, live-action porn somehow still manage to survive on this site after 10 years and a purge that cost the company a billion dollars in value, and how they claim to be "the queerest place on the internet" while simultaneously alienating and fostering a hostile environment for the queer artists who are largely responsible for Tumblr's success. Porn and spam bots run amok, but the blogs of marginalized people and artists are first on the chopping block.

I myself have had blogs deleted for lesser reasons. A couple years ago I created a "ship week" event blog, which was deleted simply because at one point in the TV show, one of the characters in the ship was a minor. The blog posted G-rated prompts. It was text-based with completely worksafe header graphics. It didn't endorse any age ranges, but left that up to the discrimination of the participants. The participants complied with Tumblr's TOS if they posted 18+ content, cropping images, using Community Labels and such. Everything adhered strictly to Tumblr's guidelines.

But I was the target for a lot of hatred from the rest of the fandom. They hated my guts because I shipped "the wrong ship"—because it was a gay ship, because it upset the canon heterosexual ship that one of the characters was in, because I wasn't sniveling in fear whenever they sent me hateful asks, because I refused to be bullied or shamed. They went after us because we were a tiny group of fans, easy to target and eradicate. Disgusting behavior, really.

I tried to appeal the deletion, but I never heard back from Tumblr. Fine. I moved the event to another platform (and it looked much better there, too), and that was that.

In short, Tumblr would rather delete a hundred innocent blogs out of fear of offending their ad sponsors rather than 1) investigate the claims made against the blog, or 2) give the blog owner a chance to delete the offending content.

One final thing:

Last month, around 17 June 2024, several Pompep fans on Tumblr received anywhere between 1-3 anonymous asks telling us to kill ourselves or "get raped".

Over cartoon characters.

It's a sad state of things when there's more sympathy, respect and agency given to drawings of fictional lines than living, breathing people.

[geek-fashionista]

A Business Proposal

A little while ago, I posted an interest poll for a series I'm planning. Since many of you responded that you were at least curious, I come today with... limited information. Limited, because the novel version of this series is currently being read by a literary agent.

But I've always felt that this story was too big to be contained in book format. Under a traditional publisher, I would lose the rights to my own property, so if they didn't want to see more of it, that's that for myself and the characters and the readers who fall in love with the characters. Self-publishing is harder. It needs to be a collaborative effort between writer and readers if it's going to succeed. Thus, I turn to the only audience I have with my "business proposal."

(Note: If you've been around long enough, you might recognize some of these characters from posts that have since been deleted.)

~*~

Working Title: Trainwrecks Length of Series: 8 seasons Length of Seasons: 24 episodes, 12 main and 12 bonus, posted biweekly. (Each season will last three months.) Episode Length: 1000-2000 words Setting: Seattle, Washington and its surrounding towns, between the years 2004-2015 Genre: Contemporary, YA to New Adult

Trainwrecks follows a diverse group of six best friends from high school to their mid-twenties, with all the romance, heartache, college and career decisions, and confusion that entails. Our main cast:

A bubbly, fat Puerto Rican girl with a passion for art and matchmaking (Ages: 14-25)

Her adopted, Argentinian brother, who is adept at music and pretty much nothing else (Ages: 16-27)

Their childhood best friend, an Asian/British/American guy who hides years of trauma behind a flamboyant and overbearing personality (Ages: 19-30)

His ill-tempered younger sister, who has just moved back to the United States from London after their parents divorced fifteen years ago (Ages: 14-25)

An equally bad-tempered Hawaiian/French guy with a love of photography and a hatred of bullies (Ages: 14-25)

The coolest, most beautiful Chinese girl you'll ever meet, who is fighting a sex addiction after a history of abuse (Ages: 16-27)

Main episodes will be written in story format. Bonus episodes will be in epistolary format: MSN chats, text messages, letters, blog posts, and eventually Twitter posts. Y'know, cuz Twitter didn't exist in 2004.

The main series (8 seasons, 24 episodes each) will be completely free to read and delivered directly to your email inbox. There will be character artwork, a bio page to keep track of everyone, a tie-in Tumblr account for memes, Spotify playlists for each character, and helpful things like family trees and relationship charts as well. Each season will have its own key artwork---cover art, if you will.

In addition to the completely free story, there will be extra content for paid subscribers and Patreon patrons, including but not limited to:

Sneak previews/early updates

Side stories

Back stories

Character and universe development notes

Entire AUs with different relationships or different genres

Money raised will either go towards paying artists or towards my student loans. And if the series gets really popular, I intend to launch a Kickstarter for physical copies that will include all the artwork and maybe some bonus items as well.

That's my business proposal. If you like it or have questions, comment on this post, scream in my inbox, chat me---do whatever but do it vocally because I need to know you're out there. And then, feel free to follow my Substack for updates.

[hkthatgffan]

As someone dying of lupus (it's hard to draw atm due to shakey hands), and is slow with comissions, I never ask for money first, rather than after i finish. And if I don't get it done in 3 months, I apologize and try to give them a free doodle of their choice, no money given to me at all.

Even if I moved slow, I'd always keep them up to speed with what was happening, if I can/cannot do the drawing or give them something small and free to compensate for the months gone by so at least someone gets a little something for waiting.

And if I get it done, then I get my payment (since my health is unpredictable, I like to get paid after. Makes me feel better, to not be paid upfront because it makes me feel better on touching up, asking if changes needed to the art, anything added, etc. Or if my health simply won't allow, at least they'll get something in the end.)

Idk. I just find it rather cruel to leave people in the dark like that. I deal with abuse, awful illnesses litterally tearing me apart, i've lost half if not most my family and had to do artwork or refund/explain if artwork couldn't be completed regardless.

There's no excuse to leave people behind, block, ignore,ghost, and run off with cash.

I've met really rude people in this fandom, and I really wish people would just take five seconds to go "ok here's what's happening, do you want your cash back?" Like it's not hard.

The day of the last few gf episodes, I was in the hospital because my organs weren't working properly and almost exploded my digestive track due to nerve damage,

Yet I still managed to

Let my friends know the art trades will be unfinished and you won't need to give me anything in return (because i always prefer to do them first incase something happens)

Let those who did used to pay me first get their 15 bucks back

All while my insides almost ruptured from gastroparesis 🎉🥳 and my friend died all in the same day i went and stayed two weeks in the hospital desperately trying to apologize for the delay and doing whatever I could to explain my situation and if they needed anything in return/makeup for it.

That's straight up MEAN to ignore and block someone and run off with the cash. There's no excuse.

Even when I was screaming in agony in my hospital bed, I still managed to give a refund or something or talk to the person and not leave them in the dust. :/

I am so sorry you were left in the dark.

OMG, I'm so, so sorry about all you've been through. That is honestly a truly painful and horrible thing to endure I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemies and people who like with you, made me endure some of the worst that I've seen from people in this fandom.

But also you're right. No matter the reason and no matter how long it may be, a person who has accepted a job...be it an art commission or something else, should at the bare minimum, communicate with the person they are being paid to do that for.

The sad thing is that me and everyone I mentioned in my post had been doing things the right way for ages. We gave Kiki-Kit time (more than we should've), communicated to her through the proper channels she had set up, were nice and patient and yet she never responded to any of us. It literally left us with no choice but to call her out...something none of us wanted to do!

That's what really disappoints me about it all. IDC if she was to take another year to finish my commission. It was a non time sensitive comm I just got from her cause it was a chance to support an artist I respected and admired who was going through a rough time and get a personalized art piece from them. But her lack of communicating really has been upsetting. No matter what she was going through, she could have at least made a post or update to us saying things would take time or even just not say an arbitrary completion date and then miss it with months without another update. No one would be mad at her if she just communicated with us better. That's all that this boils down to; lack of communication!

I get upset and apologize if I miss messaging someone back even for a few hours. And I feel even worse if I miss a DM or message sent my way and then see it maybe days later. None of us are after Kiki-Kit or want her to be remembered for this by the fandom. It pained me greatly to make that post. But with all that has come out, it was overdue.

I still believe she can rectify this all if she just responds and agrees to refund or complete comms from everyone still waiting, that's all it'll take. I doubt anyone will wanna buy a comm from her again who are aware of all this, but at least it's better than not responding to people who fucking paid her and are waiting!

At this point personally, I'm getting my money back from her if she does offer it and so are probably everyone else who I've spoken to. It's not something I want to do given the whole reason behind why she did those comms in the first place...but this whole situation has just left a bad taste in us all and quite frankly, we've had enough.

I just hope if or when Kiki-Kit does address this all, she does better moving forward.

[mrghostrat]

Hi bilvy! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! i love your art & your fics) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 🧡

this is so very sweet, thank you non 😭💛

i'm gonna forget a thousand people if i try to list everyone, but i do have a few names i wanna express gratitude for

i've been trying to get back on tumblr for ages, and i could never get it to stick until this time around. i think a huge part of that is bc of @foolishlovers. right from the start, their tags made me squeal and laugh, and i love every SINGLE thing they post. following them was like having the finest of the good omens fandom curated onto my dash for me, and made it so easy to slip back into fandom after 8+ years of no fandom interaction at all. then they also turn out to be super nice and sweet and a wonderful writer?! so yea. thank you jane. i'm on here every day (which is something i desperately missed, and am so happy about) cause of you.

i also appreciate the hell out of @bunnakit and can't imagine my dash without them. we're friends from twitch that follow entirely different shows and don't understand most of each others posts, but seeing oat's enthusiasm for their shows and their gifs/meta/content just makes me really happy. i love seeing them enjoy themself 🥺

aaah and last one i think has to be @almalvo. we dont actually interact on tumblr much, but every day i pop into their discord or their stream and thrive off the community they've fostered. i found them by randomly searching "good omens" on twitch one day and stumbled headfirst into some of the most incredible artwork, by a person who is so chill and down to earth and fun to talk to. checkin in on malvo has become a favourite part of my day 😭

[starkparade]

starkparade's Cap/Iron Man Tiny Reverse Bang 2024 Masterpost

2024 Cap/Iron Man Tiny Reverse Bang was the first stevetony fandom event I participated in. I have started writing stevetony fics before, but this event with its tight deadlines (one week for creation, editing and posting) was what finally made me get over my anxieties around actually publishing anything. I made my stevetony fic debut as well as my stevetony smut debut thanks to this event.

I have never tried working with art prompts before, but it turned out to be something I enjoyed a lot! This was truly the perfect low-commitment first event for me that made it easy to just jump in. I wrote fics for four artworks of the twelve in total, and for four rounds of the six in total. All my thanks go to the wonderful mods and all the artists for the amazing art prompts!

You can find the list of my fics below the cut!

ROUND 2 — Art by sayah1112 Who Wants to Live Forever (MCU, T, 2.8k) by starkparade

It turns out that not being able to get drunk is far from being the worst and only unfortunate side effect of the serum. As the years go by, Steve notices he has not been aging. Everyone else, including Tony, has been.

ROUND 3 — Art by Naivelittleprincess Morning Light (MCU, E, 1.8k) by starkparade

Tony can’t sleep in complete darkness, and Steve can’t stay asleep once the sun comes up. Most mornings, Steve just gets out of bed quietly so he wouldn't disturb Tony's sleep, but this time he can't bring himself to.

ROUND 5 — Art By The Piper of Hameln The Fun Way (MCU, E, 1.7k) by starkparade

Tony is convinced Steve keeps harping on about him putting himself in danger on missions because he is frustrated about something else entirely. He has an idea how to relieve that frustration.

ROUND 6 — Art by DarthBloodOrange Making the Right Call (MCU, T, 6.1k) by starkparade

Tony and Steve have not spoken to each other since that fateful day in Siberia. However, when Steve gets gravely injured in a fight and thinks he is going to die, he goes to find Tony in his workshop so he can see him one last time.

[aprilc0t]

This is my first time revisiting the story since volume 17 got translated to English. Crazy because I've claimed myself to be a fan of Kazeki for quite some time, so why have I only read the story once? Simply because I just didn't believe I could take the mental anguish again, the ending just morally destroyed me when I first read it. 

 I must say I knew how the story ended way back before that, though (because I was desperate, asked, and someone told me, lol). I still was in denial that THAT was the ending. Then the Spanish license was announced, and I waited to get my hands on the last volume (which in Spanish is volume 10, because they released the Bundo-ban edition), and at this point I had been waiting years for this; I knew what was coming, and I actually thought the ending was "Fitting." Bettter said, I thought it was realistic for the story, but I still didn't like it.

That was almost four years ago. When I read the story for the first time, I was the same age as the characters, fourteen. I'm not a 14-year-old teen with unsupervised internet access anymore; I'm a 20-year-old with a slightly more developed frontal lobe (wait for my kazeki rereading when I turn 25). 

 Now, why am I saying all of this in my silly little post about me the first volume? Because this is also my first time reading the full story without time gaps of waiting for translations AND the first time reading it all in Spanish (which is my first language). Tragedy back to back, good for me. This last part has actually been really impactful in my reading. Kazeki was notorious for being passed around scalation groups, and the first scans are well, not the best (yet not the worst; I'll forever be grateful for those first scans of the manga), so it's easy to miss some details in Keiko’s artwork (Kurt fans, you know what I mean if you own the volumes), and it's been overall more easy to read; the story feels more coherent somehow it gives me a better understanding of everything, and I'm actually comparing the English and Spanish translation as I read. And its kind of crazy how the vibes change, i guess because of the words and phrasings in some parts of the spanish one, I resonate a little more with it. 

I’ll wait for my second volume to arrive to give my complete thoughts on the first part of the story (I'm a demon that buys books out of order and I'm still missing some volumes lmao). For the moment, I would like to say that those first pages are Berserk crazzy levels of first pages, or actually, Berserk’s first pages are Kazeki levels of crazy.

[icekingofhope]

THE SYNNI DRAMA (WARNING VERY DARK TOPICS WILL BE IN THIS READ WITH CAUTION)

so…I don’t like bringing up drama but I wanna bring up something considering synni

if you don’t know synni used to be these popular YouTuber in the 2010s going by scootaloo loves sans (which she made her persona a aged up scootaloo and ship her with sans) now I wanna explain the drama she gone threw to minor it worse one

To start it off there was this character named boy from a fnf mod I don’t much about him as I’m no longer into fnf as the fandom grew toxic but ever since synni found this character she literally BECAME OBSESSED with him to the point of disrespecting the creator

to explain boy is aroace in canon but like synni had sexualized him and the creators other character whitty and the creator had shown a lot discomfort with this and synni claimed she wasn’t “gonna use the ocs anymore” but secretly did and she did something with boy and well…I will get into that later

there is also the birdie (who is later named jack) situation but I don’t know a lot about it and plus birdie was groomed as a child back then and surrounded by a lot of very VERY bad people but I suggest looking into it with your own risk as it has really dark shit in it

another thing is that synni has…thing so to explain obviously she is in the undertale fandom now it was weird her persona was scootaloo aged up but I heard she was a child during that but I am taking that with a grain of salt but as she grew more into undertale more she started to simp for nightmare and error which you would think “now whats wrong with that” well…she had made a au of like nightmare kidnapping and forcing her to be his wife and abusing her same goes with error but mostly with nightmare and even imagining them sexually assaulting her it’s really messed up

she had came to explain its cause of maladaptive daydreaming which I feel off by cause I have it but I don’t imagine being sexually assaulted now don’t say “well just because you have it doesn’t mean it’s not normal for people with that” I understand that but still it’s really strange even considering the other things she has done

(EDIT: I was told she was 16 when this happened)

she had also posted very suggestive art to minors on discord I don’t remember much because I don’t wanna go back and look in the doc cause it honestly made me genuinely uncomfortable and sick but it didn’t made me as sick as the other major stuff

So I’m gonna bring up the comic what comic you may ask well remember I mention about boy? Well she had made this comic about him and nightmare basically she had boy kidnapped nightmare and basically full on sexually assault him many times and treat him like garbage cause she made nightmare treat her like garbage I don’t remember much what happened but it honestly really triggered me especially when I was in the undertale fandom nightmare was a huge comfort character to me as I relate to him and seeing my comfort character being portrayed as a sexual assault victim honestly made me almost cry I luckily had my best friend on the call comforting me while we saw this cause we just discovered the drama on call

now last but not least the biggest piece of drama of them all

so basically she is currently getting into backlash for grooming and sending porn to a 14 year old and also threatening to kill her soon to be ex roommate jack which is so fucking sick I won’t get into much detail into this much but if you wanna know more read the documents

I suggest to read it with caution cause the stuff in it is so fucking disgusting

now what is my opinion?

she is obviously NOT mentally well like she needs to get away from the internet and get arrested not just for others sake but herself she practically destroyed her own life and I’m afraid she is actually gonna do something horrible to jack

Now jack aka birdie may have done wrong but he was just a kid when most of the drama happened I don’t support his actions but he doesn’t deserve to be stuck with this clearly mentally unstable woman

I beg of you to donate for him to move somewhere else and help him start a new life https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-jack-get-to-safety

And as for people who are defending synni (COUGH COUGH JAR AKA JUST A ROBOT COUGH COUGH) your are so fucked if you think grooming a minor and threatening to kill someone is ok

I just hope synni actually seeks professional help or aleast goes to jail not only just for the sake for others safety but for her own cause if she genuinely doesn’t want to be a bad person she should do this final act by stop going on the internet and go to a mental hospital or the police

Anyways to the people reading this I hope I didn’t ruin your day with this post just don’t let this stuff scare you the world maybe cruel and sometimes unbearable but let me tell you something that someone once told me the world only seems bad cause we only hear the bad remember the world can be good you have friends and family to support you even if some rotten apples are here don’t forget there are good ones too

it took me a long time to see that I hope your day is good and you continue to have a amazing life cause you deserve it

thank you for reading lads and lasses

[satellite-sims]

💕 self-love time! talk about which ones of YOUR creations (edits, artworks, fanfics) you like the most then send to other creators to do the same 💕

Thank you for sending me this back! I usually don't talk about how much i love some of my edits. But it's their time to shine!

First of all i should say that this portrait of Debbie is currently a GEM among my edits. I love it so much with all of my heart. The hair, the makeup, the BLOUSE. And the colors! Lately i've been trying various color schemes to diverse my edits more and this one comes out very special to me.

Second favorite is Andrea's portrait. I was just testing tattoos on her and took this portrait almost randomly but i love the way she's looking. Her eyes are full of strenght. Her previous portraits wasn't my favorite for some reason (maybe because she wore much makeup)

These ones are pretty old (from 2021) but i still geniunely love them! Especially Naomi. The idea of recreating her was rather impulsive because i was binge watching The Expanse but she comes out insanely realistic to me! She is edited a lot, i know. But her whole face structure was fully made in game. I just added some little touches of highlighting and shading. This portrait was unusual to me since i usually don't take screenshots at the background with something (just blank color surface yk) and it was fun to edit, especially draw her hair! It was almost the first time i drawn curly hair.

Second one is my self-portrait! Still my favorite because of the hairstyle, i think. This is my favorite type. I dreamed about converting it since ages when i didn't have converting skills. Too bad it haven't had much attention when i uploaded hair :( Nvm, everything is calling out to me from the hair to the colors and neat editing in here.

My favorite portraits from sci-fi series (which is no longer exist now) Rhea should've been betrayer of the squad and Paula had a role of a smart android on board. She was designed by Aaron and he took his deceased wife as a "face claim".

Still in love with these two portraits!

First one is my friend and classmate Oksana. When i showed her my creations, she asked me to recreate her in ts3. I already thought about that before she asked since she is really unique beauty! And she was also the one who supported my sims-hobby and adored my every picture. That was so cute of her. She liked the result by the way!

Second one is my "son" Freddie! I love him with all of my heart, he is just cute in this sweater even with his serious look in the eyes. This simple portrait was just for a preview picture for contacts, but it ended up being my favorite as self-dependent picture. They both came up pretty and realistic to me!

And the last one closing my top of favorites is Francine. This picture has taken in far away 2018. It is named "autumn rhapsody" on my PC. Francine really means a lot to me as a character. I developed her very well, and i wish i could tell whole story about her someday. To me, Francine is bright and melancholic just like autumn. Her color scheme is also what reminds of autumn and the last rays of sunshine that lays down on the fallen leaves.

In general i have a lot of favorite pictures of mine but they weren't posted for some reason (i'm lazy to edit them) so i hope we will see more in future!

[greypetrel]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @theluckywizard for the tag! It's been fun to compile :3

1. how many works do you have on ao3? 6

2. what’s your total ao3 word count? 356,534 (from last October. It's higher since I haven't upload a lot of ficlets I wrote here, oops)(But! it's my AO3 birthday, yeeeeh!)

3. what fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, there's a crossover with LOTR/Silmarillion. I don't know if I'll ever write anything solely on Tolkien lore, I tend to reason per OCs in stories and I feel slightly bad in treating other's characters as my own.

4. what are your top five fics by kudos? - Home Was Never On The Ground (CullenxLavellan, long fic)(also known as Monster Fic) - She of Many Names (CullenxLavellan, a Dragon Age and LOTR - crossover) - The Night Before First Day (Some CullenxLavellan but very on the sidelines. it's Solas acting as Santa. And it rhymes.) - One For the Road (FenrisxLavellan, Angst is over 9000, 2 chapters.) - Death and All of His Friends (HawkexMerrillxIsabela, I'll get on with it but everything is on hold because I want to get Monster fic done before the year ends)

5. do you respond to comments? Oh yes, of course! Jumping on my seat and being very happy about it. I'm wordy, so chances are that comments will be answered with more lore.

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Death and All of His Friends, right now.

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day.

8. do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of. The worst hate I got in the fandom were some assholes who commented on an adoribull fanart here on Tumblr. I didn't want to learn how to say "F*ggot" in Russian, but I did. They didn't expect me to understand and reply in Russian, and they never got back.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? … Tried to. I'm self-conscious about my writing, so it never got posted. I don't know if it ever will. It was just to see if I could, but for now I'd rather keep it personal.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written? Yes! I love making connections between things and fiction and see similarities and who inspired some others. I have She of Many Names, which is a Dragon Age with Lord of the Rings crossover. There's some Silmarillion, but as long as highlighting characters background goes. A person on Instagram commented on one artwork of my Lavellan (miss cinnamon "I cry if you tell me that there are kittens under the rain" roll) asking me if she was Sauron. I laughed so art imagining her as an evil overlady that I HAD TO write it. "It's all a big misunderstanding".

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of.

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? I haven't, but I'd love to!

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship? You'll pry HawkexMerrillxIsabela from my cold, dead hands. HawkexFenris has the best ANGST. FaramirxEowyn. Been there since I was 10, will probably die on that hill. I see the fascination of Solavellan, but Cullavellan is there above, of course. And, MaharielxMorrigan. I am surely forgetting something, but it's one case of "I am asked what's my favourite movie and suddenly my brain thinks we never saw ONE movie in our life".

OH OH OH EnjolrasxGrantaire. I SAID IT.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? I have another chapter half blorted down for One For the Road but I'm not feeling it. It's sliding towards a triangle and it's losing all the appeal to me.

16. what are your writing strengths? Oh shit, that's difficult ahahahahahah. As above, I'm self conscious about my prose. I'll try, tho.

Dialogue (been writing my own comics for years, those are just dialogue. I have exercise on that, ahahahah)

… angsty, emotional scenes?

People crying. watches Aisling

17. what are your writing weaknesses? Language and mispellings. English is not my first language, and as every person who speaks more than one, I have a very confused brain. I re-read my own writing again but there's always something missing. I also tend to write prose without a precise plan: I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing prose after some comments that caught me in a moment when I was particularly fragile and convinced me my prose was never going to be ok. In order to ease me back into it, I started writing Monster Fic purposefully without a plan of action or a plotline not to stress myself too much and convince my brain it's just a hobby to relax. It worked, but in long fics I prefer having plans, I read it again and I think it shows that there's little planning ahead. When synthesis ability was being distributed, I was trying to pet a dog.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? Uh, English not being my first language counts? xD Beside that: I wrote some SIMPLE lines in wannabe-Latin, some words here and there in French. If it's something long, tho, I'm against it. Personal preference, I'd rather have my readers understand what's being said if it's important, rather than showing that I know more than one language. Personal preference, I also tend not to like movies that are all done in dead languages that nobody speaks, with subtitle. Glad the writer can master ancient Latin, here's a cookie, now what.

19. first fandom you wrote for? … Inuyasha in middle school. I drew small comics for my friends over it. And, I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first year of high school, which is the first fandom with a COMPLETED fic.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written? … Still with the difficult questions AHAHAHAHAHAH. These two because I got to use friends' blorbos and I was so nervous but also had the best of times: - Three Cards Trick [ Maria Hawke becomes the official third Science Sibling. They adopt a skeleton. ] - Saving Grace [ Aisling as a companion for Kerry Hawke in DA2. She refuses to pay for elfroot, but will find a way to acquire "some" from the Templars. ]

- Could be Worse. [ Mahariel, Morrigan, and Aisling becomes Ghost Hunters in modern time New York. It should have been a scam. ] I live for quotations and it set my head on fire and it's yet another modern AU I'll get back to sooner or later.

- Death and all of His Friends. [ Raina Hawke, human disaster but mildly successfull trash raccoon, fucks up royally at the end of Act 2.] Originally prompted by salsedine but I'm linking the polished AO3 version. Raina Hawke won the lottery of having issues similar to mine, and writing her has always some form of therapy. But I did it, I like the three parts, and I completed it and posted it anyway.

- Not the Years but the Mileage. [ Booby traps in the Temple of Mythal. Cullen breaks stuff that should be in a museum. ] And this one because again, quotings. Arbor Wilds (that mission is flawed, but the environment? Not.). And that piece of dialogue where Aisling can't talk and Cullen just understands her mumbling.

- Something Fishy. [ Raina and Garrett Hawke, loyal knights at the court of the Red King of Amaranthine, gets sent on a... Fishy mission.] This was probably the funniest to write, and nothing. I thrive in angst or in absurd crack fics, and this by now is my peak crack.

... I wrote for years and I hope it was remotely interesting.

TAGGING BACK: @shivunin @ndostairlyrium @heniareth @oxygenforthewicked @rosella-writes @scribbledquillz @star--nymph @zenstrike and YOU who are reading.

[ashenlavellan]

Answering some Fanfiction Q's

So, I saw this post reblogged by @vorchagirl about a series of questions that was posted awhile back... instead of answering a handful, I'm just gonna answer about 20 of them. This'll be fun ^.^

The first fandom that I ever got involved with was Attack on Titan when it came to writing fanfiction - I enjoyed writing self-insert pieces with Levi Ackerman, Eren Jaeger, and Mikasa Ackerman.

2. My most recent/latest fandom would have to be Solo Leveling - I'm delving deeper and deeper into the artwork, memes, and what-not because I sincerely enjoyed binging it with my fiancé.

3. The best fandom that I've ever been involved with has been a tie between two - the people I surrounded myself with when I wrote Tokyo Ghoul fanfiction and the current community of Mass Effect writers that I speak with on a daily basis. Both are very chill and I really appreciate that.

4. I regret joining the initial community I was part of that involved half of the Attack on Titan community and another because it devolved into severe arguments and I just want to enjoy reading other stories, writing them, and speaking with other authors. Most of my first fandom community were awesome and sweet, there was just a few I was never close with and they stirred some shit up.

5. I've written for many fandoms in the past, but I don't remember all of them: (the last three are the most recent ^.^)

Attack on Titan

Tokyo Ghoul

Final Fantasy

Fire Emblem

Dragon Age

Mass Effect

6. My OTP's from each fandom? Well, that's a bit awkward because the stories I wrote/read before the last two were self-inserts. But, I'll mention my favorite pairings... (I'll try to pick pairings where it's not a player-based character)

Eren Jaeger/Mikasa Ackerman

Ken Kaneki/Touka Kirishima

Cloud Strife/Tifa Lockhart & Tidus/Yuna

Robin/Chrom & Corrin/Kaze & Byleth/Claude

Carver Hawke/Merrill & Dorian Pauvus/Iron Bull

EDI/Joker

7. A list of my NOTPs from each fandom? Here's the list:

Eren Jaeger/Armin Arlert

Ken Kaneki/Tsukiyama Shuu

Tidus/Lulu

Cordelia/Lon'qu & Corrin/Xander

Nathaniel Howe/Anders

(I honestly can't think of a Mass Effect one at the top of my head)

8. How did I get involved in my latest fandom? I mean, I think I was noticed further by the Mass Effect community thanks to @vorchagirl seeing my first ever post that was Reyder related and I had a massive internal freakout since I've always been a fan of her writing - then I was invited into the community and I've loved it since! ^.^

9. The best things in my current fandom is how chill and funny the individuals I've spoken/met and they've also been great help when I've struggled with my fics - every single one of them is awesome and I'm glad to be part of this community! Mass Effect forever!

10. So far, I've read quite a bit of fic for Fire Emblem: Three Houses and it's solely Fem!Byleth/Claude. I love so many of the characters, but Claude just keeps sneaking in and sweeping my Byleth off of her feet before I can accept the proposals from other characters lmao

11. My current OTP is a tie between my Fem!Shep/Kaidan Alenko and Fem!Ryder/Reyes Vidal - specifically, Bellatrix Shepard/Kaidan Alenko and Lorelei Ryder/Reyes Vidal.

12. I don't have a personal favorite OT3 pairing since I don't usually read that sort of stuff, but I've been pushing myself out of my comfort zone and have enjoyed @vorchagirl Saints & Liars series where it's Cerys Ryder/Reyes Vidal/Harry Carlyle. I HIGHLY recommend the series! ^.^

13. Honestly, I have one that comes to mind, but I know that others may like this NOTP - I'm not really a fan of Fem!Shep/Kai Leng. I can't bring myself to read any fics involving him since it legitimately crushed me that he's usually the one that kills Thane... as time has passed, I deeply love Kaidan and Thane's romance, but I get incredibly depressed whenever Thane is killed in my playthroughs.

14. My favorite BroTP is definitely Garrus and James - the shit-talk and banter between the two of them has always made me cackle and I'm like, even if you're playing as Male!Shep and have a bromance with Garrus, it'll just become a BroT3 with Male!Shep, Garrus, and James.

15. I don't think it's too much of an obscure ship, but I genuinely think there's sexual tension of some sort between Miranda and Jack - there would definitely be hate-sex and the fact that both women are dominant in their own right, as well as biotics? Sheesh.

However, I do love the connection between Anderson and Kahlee - you can definitely sense that something is or was there, but I was genuinely hoping for something to develop because Anderson deserves to be happy too!

16. There aren't really any popular ships that I don't like within the fandom because most of the pairings are involving Fem!Shep/Bro!Shep... so, not really.

17. My first OTP was technically my first playthrough - Ásdís Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, my Spacer War-Hero... where would she be without her Vakarian?

18. As of this moment, I've wrote the most for my ME: Andromeda pairing which is Lorelei Ryder and Reyes Vidal. We're creeping further into their story and I'm hoping to push through because I love this series that I've worked so hard on.

19. I really wish I could get behind the Garrus/Tali pairing, but I think a part of me still deeply loves Garrus' romance and how he'll always be with Ásdís... I like it, but I don't love the pairing.

20. I think I was a bit surprised by how much I came to love the pairing of Wrex/Bakara - I liked the pairing at the start, but with how they interact with each other and their relationship actually forms, I came to love it.

so yeah, that was twenty questions and although my brain is a little fried from thinking a little too hard, I'm gonna get to writing my Reyder installment and hopefully post it soon! :D

[applestorms]

morality in the world of good omens

so i wrote another (admittedly very messy) essay on good omens not long ago right after watching season 2 but after finishing that, rewatching all of both seasons multiple times, and reading through the book, i have a couple more distinct ideas to get out...somewhere...if only for my own sanity. this is me throwing my thoughts into the internet before i pop, if you will. just 3 sections, below the cut.

1. environment, characters, & transformative fandom creations

to start this post off a bit more broadly, i've been thinking a lot recently about transformative fandom and the reasons why we write fanfiction/create semi-original works in the first place, as well as why certain aspects of fandom (writing, art, analysis, etc.) will be more appealing to me for certain shows/series than others. correct me if you have a totally different view of this, but in my experience i've found that i tend to naturally gravitate towards different parts of fandom depending on what the original medium of the story was- podcasts tend to lead to some of the most interesting art trends, for example, since there's more room for interpretation and character design tends to be more of an ongoing community project than something set in stone like for a tv show with live human actors.

in my own observation, i've noticed that a lot of the really big & excitable fandoms, the ones that generate tons & tons of fanworks more naturally (a.k.a. just because of the story itself & not other factors like a pre-existing franchise or hype about new great gay representation, etc.) tend to surround stories that fall into a kind of "sweet spot" that makes the creation of fanworks really appealing. if you've ever wondered why there are so many ravenous artists bending over backwards to draw gorgeous fanart for stuff like homestuck or south park or even minecraft youtubers, it's likely because those stories all fall into a sweet spot for drawing, with character designs that are recognizable at a glance and yet still simple enough that there is plenty of room for personal creative touches. (think also, if you're familiar with such kinds of homestuck terms: hyperflexible mythologies, A4:1524, and/or this archive link cause the official thing is down now for some reason)

the conclusion i've come to is thus that even something as basic as the original medium of a story can dictate a lot about what kinds of fan activities are more common or popular within said story's fandom.

so, back to good omens- for me, this all relates back because of a question i've been messing with in my head recently, about why i've been less interested in fanfiction for good omens than i have been for the last few fandoms i've been, almost all of which have basically broken my ao3 bookmarks.

this question has been fucking with me for a while now, largely because i'm not entirely sure what's motivating it. a lot of times i can figure out pretty easily why i might personally not be interested in some parts of fandom, but that's not really the case here. from what i've seen this fandom seems to be pretty mixed in terms of age, & the writing that i have read is certainly no worse than i've seen elsewhere, perhaps even better in some places- and yet, i can't seem to get entirely into it, even getting frustrated as i can't find something to my tastes for an ao3 bedtime story as i've grown so accustomed. what caught me off guard is that this was an issue that i ran into while watching season 1 as well, back when the series was still quite popular but not blowing up like it is right now.

a lot of this may seem like (and likely is, at least in part) basic overthinking, but i mentioned it all here because the answer i eventually came to is reminiscent of my previous reflections above on the nature of fandom & how/why fanworks are created.

a couple paragraphs above, i used the example of art as an example of how fandoms that generate a lot of original artwork will often do the most when the original story falls into a sweet spot of character design, but notably i think that this sentiment applies to a lot more than just art. if you've ever seen the copious amounts of kpop & hockey rpf fanfiction that lives on ao3, it should be clear that this applies to writing too.

i wrote this essay a while back responding to an observation about the lack of a more extensive symbolic language in fanfiction & i've toyed around with the idea more since, particularly in considering the question of why a lot of what we see as the staples of fanfiction exist in the first place. in that post, my response largely revolved around an argument of why we create fanfiction- namely, that fanfiction is created as in tandem with deeper analysis of the original story/series, as a way of trying to practically apply character analysis to a new context.

the key part of that last sentence to me is how a lot of this revolves around character analysis (and shipping, but really it's the characters that motivate the shipping in most cases so. same difference).

i tend to instinctively separate fanfiction into two separate categories: fanfiction that is based out of the original world/canon of the story (including but not limited to fix-its, deeper analysis fics that take a scene & extrapolate from it, continuations, etc.) and fanfiction that takes the characters from the original story & plops them in an alternate universe/AU. while i separate these out as two distinct categories of fanfiction, i should also clarify that i don't think these two groups are necessarily equal in terms of number of fics- rather, the vast majority of fanfiction tends to be AUs, keeping the original characters & changing any & all aspects of the world around them. again, this may vary depending on the story & Vibe of the fandom at the time, stories like game of thrones or harry potter or homestuck might have a lot more in the canon category by nature of any major dissatisfactions the fandom has with how the original story was told, but in most cases AUs are more popular. this was a lot of the basis behind my argument that fanfiction is created as character analysis in fact, since the characters are the most important part that carries over from original story to fanwork, as well as can end up being one of the most debated/scorned parts when it comes to fandom drift (i.e. "that's out of character"/"he wouldn't do that"/and all other such arguments about fanon vs. canon characterization).

basically, my conclusion in this case was that i was a lot less interested in gomens fic largely because i have a really hard time separating the characters from the world in the case of this particular story. aziraphale & crowley being an angel & a demon and dealing with all of the bullshit of their world when it comes to heaven & hell are such integral parts of their characters in my mind that i have a much harder time getting behind AU fanfiction that plops them in a totally different context. it's just a much harder sell for keeping the characters in character for me. (i also tend to not like s2 fix-its just cause, idk they're just not my style, which is where a lot of the recent blast of energy has led us.) to clarify, this is not a judgement, just a matter of personal preference and a reflection of why, even if a lot of fandoms will look the same from the outside/involve the same things like art, fic, etc., an individual's mileage can vary wildly when it comes to how they interact with different things online.

*additional note, also for clarification: i do want to acknowledge that a lot of this depends on pure popularity as well, popular fandoms will often end up with basically everything in terms of fanworks just by nature of how many people are interacting with & thinking deeply about the story. my point here is more along the lines of the fact that even within the more well-populated fandoms, certain types of fanwork will often Stick Out more to me than others, or even be visibly much more common than in other fandoms, due largely to the original medium/structure of how the story.

so, speaking of aziraphale & crowley in more depth now- why does the world of good omens feel like such an integral part of their personalities when it comes to characterization? up next, let's talk about morality within the context of good omens' perhaps surprisingly secular take on heaven & hell.

2. the amorality of heaven & hell (ft. the crowley quote apples you know the one)

(warning in advance that this section may be a bit limited since i'm not going to get super far (or very far at all, really) into the whole religious-analysis aspect of good omens.)

i've been binge-reading the original pterry & gaiman book for good omens over the last few days and it's been very fun seeing all the slight changes between the tv show & the original. you can really see the hand of the original creators in how the tv show was translated, even just by looking at which parts made it and which parts were deemed worth cutting out. i suppose having one of the original creators right there helping build everything really helps make a book -> show translation work, since the ASOUE tv series was also pretty well received- something about knowing what's the core of the series & truly important to keep in, and having more time to tell the story itself?

anyways, i have a short list of notes that i've been taking as i read, conversations that stand out to me or footnotes that particularly amused me, but i keep coming back to one line that stood out to me quite early on. in context, this line comes from crowley during the conversation where he is first attempting to fully convince aziraphale about stopping armageddon, specifically when they're talking about exerting equal forces on warlock to make him normal:

"You're saying the child isn't evil of itself?" [Aziraphale] said slowly. "Potentially evil. Potentially good, too, I suppose. Just this huge powerful potentiality, waiting to be shaped," said Crowley. He shrugged. "Anyway, why're we talking about this good and evil? They're just names for sides. We know that."

(pg. 67)

"They're just names for sides." if i had to pick one line to sum up the view on religious morality of this series, this would likely be it.

on the one hand, i tend to interpret a lot gomens' take on heaven & hell within the context of its political stance, something that is particularly obvious through a line from gabriel in s2e2 where he tries to clarify to aziraphale that heaven isn't trying to hurt job directly, but instead is just not stopping hell from doing horrible things to him. while there may be some additional nuance to add to this take within the context of british politics that i don't really know well enough to add about, i'm inclined to see this from the side of my own familiar american politics, which might hold some weight considering how long mr. gaiman's lived around here. point is, my current interpretation of that line is that it helps in more clearly establishing the analogy of heaven & hell as the story moves forward into newer seasons and thus more contemporary politics, equating heaven with mainstream liberal politics & politicians and hell with conservatives.

this stance seems to be emphasized even more in the tv show than the book which makes sense considering its been coming out more recently, and especially in season 2 which is still quite caught up in a lot of quarantine-based reflection. (the tv show puts a lot more emphasis on heaven & hell in general, actually, perhaps initially a byproduct of actually being able to see those environments in their entirety and all the angels & demons that populate them- but we'll get to that.)

the book takes a slightly different stance that, fittingly, seems more reflective of the time it came out. in particular, i was struck a lot more when reading the book by adam's rise (fall?) to power, and how much of it was motivated by a burgeoning nervousness/pessimism about climate change and the anxieties of younger generations that comes with inheriting an earth that feels so fucked up. honestly if anything it's only gotten more relevant in that respect, what with the current vibe on the internet & the hopelessness of the doomer gen z gang, but it also has a distinctly different flavor to me from the tv show, which i think is largely because it's less connected to Formal politics since again we see a whole lot less of heaven & hell as such distinct, bureaucratic entities.

instead, there is a very distinctly amoral aspect to heaven & hell that we get through lines like the one above and especially from characters like crowley. this is why i argue that good omens, despite having so many religious elements, is such a deeply secular take, especially when it comes to its ethics & morality- Good and Evil, notably with the capital letters in this case, has very little to do with actual actions and much more to do with the name that you stamp on top of said actions. heaven & hell and the angels & demons that we see directing and watching and generally fucking with aziraphale & crowley throughout the story are distinctly separate from humanity, and as we see even more as the story progresses, distinctly unaware about what it even means to be a human, in both a deeper philosophical & very basic and literal sense. Good and Evil is simply another name for the sides- and thus the true ethics is something separate, and based in a deeply human experience.

in my opinion this is also why aziraphale & crowley, lovers of humanity and also to some degree spokespersons of it from how much they've "gone native," tend to be so deeply at odds with both heaven & hell and always end up agreeing with each other over their own supposed sides. what makes aziraphale & crowley so distinctly different is that they ascribe to the same ethics & morality that humanity does, or at the very least are trying to figure out ethics & morality & How to Be a Good Person in the same horribly messy way that humans do, separating them from the black & white "this side Good & this side Bad," logic that the rest of heaven & hell instinctively ascribe to.

there's a lot of nuance here, which is also why i think there is such an emphasis on moral ambiguity (and love, but we'll get to that) throughout season 2. the story of job, grave robbing, & questionable attempts at matchmaking- aziraphale is working through a lot of Shit right now when it comes to trying to figure out what the Good thing actually fucking is, and i think it's key that a lot of that is motivated by crowley himself. crowley might'e been cast out of heaven for asking too many questions, but aziraphale is there & listening to them & giving them the serious thought they deserve, and that can't be overlooked.

sidenote: i couldn't figure out a place to shove this in, but i also wanna point out that a lot of this is tied to the idea of growing over time too. on the same page as the quote transcribed above is another line from crowley leading up to aziraphale's question that puts a lot of emphasis on the fact that warlock is going to be a product of nurture, not nature. again, this is an argument against basic black & white assigned-at-birth morality for the ability of humans to grow & change over time and be influenced by the people around them.

it's notable that despite adam's supposed origin as a Son of Satan, what really gets him to stop the apocalypse in the end is the fact that he doesn't really give a shit about all this big plans but instead just wants to hang around his friends. there's a lot of emphasis in the book placed on how beautiful & nice tadfield is as a place for a young kid to grow up, how well loved & fiercely protected it as as something beloved to adam. while he might be overwhelmed when faced with the full picture of how horrible the world can be, ultimately what he cares about is loving & taking care of the people & places that he grew up learning were precious, and the only way to do that is to keep growing & changing yourself within that world and trying to help it also grow into something better, not throw it all away just for the slightest chance that you could restart. a message worth taking the time to think about, at the absolute very least.

3. finding morality w/in humanity: crowley & aziraphale and speculation for s3

i have complicated feelings about both aziraphale & crowley throughout a lot of the show and especially in season 2. i think a lot of people, myself included, are inclined to see crowley as the voice of reason in this season, and for good reason- as i mentioned before, a lot of aziraphale's deeper questioning of the status quo and goodness (Goodness) as a whole is motivated by questions from crowley.

i kiiind of mentioned this in my previous essay, but to state it more clearly, my take on crowley is that he's arriving at the right answer for the wrong reasons, and, conversely, aziraphale is arriving at the wrong answer for... kind of also the wrong reasons but also slightly for the right reasons. let me explain.

crowley is clearly much more aware of the flaws in both heaven & hell than aziraphale is, which seems to be the basis behind a lot of his motivation in asking aziraphale so many questions in the first place. he's also, as maggie & nina point out in s2e6, deeply lonely, often running away or getting ready to fight literally anyone that isn't aziraphale (or humans, but that's a little more complicated). from his reaction to beelz & gabriel getting together, i think it's pretty clear that he still hasn't entirely given up on the whole alpha centauri idea, and it makes sense- as i said in that last essay, crowley basically won the argument at the end of the previous season when it comes to aziraphale & crowley, "making [their] own side," so he doesn't have much reason to face any of his personal fears until maggie & nina basically point out that they exist directly to his face. once they do point it out, however, he's very motivated to act & does so almost immediately, even after hearing what aziraphale has to tell him and being pretty thoroughly devastated by it.

my point here is that crowley is correct in seeing the toxicity of both heaven & hell, he's just flawed and largely motivated by fear (up for debate if that's all it is, but i certainly think it's a big part of it) in his desire to run away from it all. it's not quite armageddon, again he's going more flight > fight here, but he's still ultimately giving up and that's not a great conclusion.

on the other hand, as some others on this site have pointed out, aziraphale is certainly showing a lot of strength in his willingness to keep fighting & try to change things for the better, but it's not hard to see how that belief has been twisted. one of aziraphale's biggest flaw in motivation at this point imo is that he doesn't just believe in goodness but Goodness, the kind that's tied to heaven always being right & all actions being morally Good so long as they're done under the name of heaven, and that clearly also isn't great.

thus what i think the both of these two really need ultimately is that deeper connection to humanity, and the ethics born from humans interacting with humans. we can already see how strong these two are when they collaborate, even when they're doing their absolute best to be as subtle as possible, but what i think they need is to once again be grounded by humanity, not to get so caught up in the bullshittery of heaven & hell and Good & Evil, but once again find a goodness defined by the world that they mutually love so much and stick with it.

i keep tossing a question around in my head about whether or not aziraphale & crowley are going to end up human by the end of this series. it feels natural that they would, they're already so at home and in love with earth & around humanity, but i'm also not entirely sure if that would be a happy ending for them considering how long they've watched & loved the world as it's changed. perhaps taking this post into account is another push towards humanity as a happy ending, not running away to a cottage to get away from the world (i just can't see running away to a cottage to be together as as happy ending, sorry- it might work for beelz & gabriel but not for aziraphale & crowley), but choosing to settle down within that world that is so dear.

[ilovedthestars]

✨ Fic Writing Review 2023 ✨

I was tagged by @dendrochilums and @blessphemy !

Words and Fics On AO3

29,868 words, of which 27,560 were actually fic (excluding meta and fanart image descriptions)

12 fanworks, of which 8 were new fics, 2 were fanart, 1 was meta, and 1 was a new chapter to a previously existing fic.

All for Murderbot, except for Things in the Shadows, my Witch King fanfic (and first foray into non-murderbot fic!)

My lifetime AO3 wordcount (since spring 2022) is 55,365

My lifetime actual written wordcount of Murderbot fanfic is somewhere on the order of 250,000 (give or take some duplicate drafts that are getting counted twice in scrivener)

Top Fics by Kudos

My actual top fics by kudos are mostly from 2022

Of the ones published/updated this year, An Unexpected Quarter wins. This is the one that I originally published in 2022 and updated with a surprise second chapter in 2023, so I think the age bias for kudos is still showing

The highest fic originally published in 2023 is Operation Parsec, which is 10th on the overall list. It's also the literal first fic I posted that year, as it was written for the New Years gift exchange. Yeah, I think my kudos rankings are almost entirely based on age

Fics and Fanart on Tumblr

By my count I made 12 fanart posts in my #stars art tag! This includes Many-Colored Strings and Ghosts of the Pressy, the two fanart pieces that I posted to AO3. (Ghosts of the Pressy is technically from 2022, but I didn't share it outside of discord until 2023)

Because I didn't have a tumblr until this year, I decided to go back through my list of ao3 works and post links to them under my #stars ao3 reruns tag

I posted snips from nine unpublished Murderbot fic wips for the Trick or Treat ask game (which are all linked in this post)

And had fun with lots of other ask games, tag games, and rambling about my wips in general! More can be found in #stars fic, #stars wips and #stars ocs

Fandom Fic Events 2023

Last year's Murderbot Diaries New Years Gift exchange ( @mbd-gift-exchange ), for which I wrote Operation Parsec for Lillow and received this gorgeous artwork from @acornwizard!!

The Aspec Murderbot Diaries event, for which I created Many-Colored Strings based on a prompt about platonic soulmate AUs

The Murderbot discord's AUpril event, for which I created several snips and small artworks that were shared only on discord

And several other less formal events/collaborations on discord, like the fictional art exhibition in the future of the MBD universe (i should get around to archiving the snips i wrote for this, I don't think I ever posted them, but I did help organize the ao3 collection)

Upcoming 2024

My gift project for this year's New Years gift exchange!

At least a dozen wips I'd like to get finished, and have no idea when or which order that will happen in, but among my top priorities:

The final 3-ish chapters of Old Unit, Young Unit

Several follow-ups to Salvage or Repair, ft. Yuma and Crowbar, particularly an immediate follow-up fic and a spinoff fic featuring two new OCs with an angsty past

Various other Polaris things that I can share after I finish OU,YU, including Niri POVs, some past & future spinoffs, and OldUnit's official company file

maybe that "Murderbot has a cat" fic that I already wrote most of but have been wanting to polish up for months now?

A revisit to my semi-abandoned Three time travel fix-it where One and Two live, perhaps? I'm low on energy but SC did give me some new ideas...

This was very fun, thanks for the tag! Rules copied below, I added some new categories but the main ones seem to be Words and Fics, Top Fics by Kudos, Fandom Events, and Upcoming 2024.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass, just keep on scrolling.

I'll tag @specialagentartemis, @every-eye-evermore, @all-all0s-eyes, and anyone else who's interested!