#is it hot in here or is it just harold ramis?

[littleboxcat]

Omg look at my Russell Ziskey Pop figure. Look at this Adorkable Goofball.

[littleboxcat]

ummmmm. yumm.....Why am I suddenly .... sigh....

The deleted scene of Russell (Harold Ramis) and Louise (Sean Young) in the bathtub from Stripes (1981). This scene is only in the extended cut of the movie!

(posting this because it’s not on YouTube and a few people have asked about it 👀)

[belles-non-wallpapering-content]

Dracula and Mina E.S x FEM! Reader

Overture- Egon has to go to the mayor's annual Halloween party to babysit Venkman, but he's bringing you, and you just found the perfect costume

CWs- Checking each other out shamelessly, rented costumes, kissing, biting, this is actually just a love letter to Harold Ramis' teeth, because oh my god.

A/N- Day 10! Just about 1/3 of the way through and I still haven't decided between two Halloween costumes. Also I was generally picturing a short version of the red dress Winona Ryder wears in Bram Stoker's Dracula, just for reference. Lots of ruffles, a bustle, low cut, etc.

If you'd like to read the other things I've written this month-- October Writing Master List

Every year the mayor throws a huge halloween party, where he lets his rich and famous donors dress up, drink for free, and usually agree to give him more money. This year you and your boyfriend are going too, and he could not possibly be less enthused. 

Peter leveraged invites from the mayor’s office as payment for a few public service ghost busting jobs, because he wanted to make fun of rich people and drink for free. A noble endeavor, but one Egon was not excited to babysit. Ray begged him to go, and after he agreed that Egon could bring you, he accepted. 

You were over the moon. Even if you weren’t a big party girl, a costume party with your wonderful boyfriend was something you could never pass up. You started brainstorming costume ideas immediately, until you came up with the perfect idea. 

Egon would be Dracula, and you would be his love, Mina. It was purely selfish, you got to wear a short, low cut red dress (Watching Egon get incredibly flustered over it), and you got to look at Egon in a suit with his hair pushed back. You declined getting him false vampire fangs, his naturally sharp teeth were arguably one of your favorite things about him–physically anyway. 

You kept your lips sealed about what you’d both be wearing, but tonight was the night. After as many lie detector tests as he could get away with while you were half asleep, and some intensive snooping, he still couldn’t figure out what you wanted to be for the party. But when he got back to his apartment, while you were nowhere to be found, a garment bag was left on his bed. The suit was inside, with a note stuck to the outside. A hot pink sticky note that just said ‘No Biting 🖤’ written in your handwriting. 

You started getting ready early. You wanted your makeup already done, and hair all set by the time Egon knocked on your door, you knew he’d be here well before you had to leave. He knocked more as a formality, then let himself in with the key you gave him. 

You couldn't decide whether to swoon or laugh at Egon, walking fully serious through your apartment, with his little cape in hand, suit all done up. 

“So no biting? None?” You knew that would get him riled up. But what fun would it be to just tell him what you were planning? He loved surprises. 

“Mmm. I don’t know, this is kind of a work event for you, since we’re going with your coworkers and all.”

“This is only so that Venkman can get intoxicated and embarrass the mayor for fun, I don’t think professionalism is a concern.”

“Oh come on now, calm down. You haven’t even seen my outfit yet.” You winked at him and picked up the garment bag with your costume in it, and then closed yourself in the walk-in closet to change, leaving Egon to sit on your bed and wait. You took your sweet time pulling on the short, extravagant dress, and even longer pulling on the accompanying stockings you bought later. 

“Could you help me lace up the back?” You called out as you opened the door, just as you were walking back out. 

“Of course.” He agreed before he saw you, and he was immediately worried he wouldn’t remember how to tie a knot with how beautiful you looked. He was putting everything he had into focusing on the laces instead of how much he’d rather have no plans, and really forfeit the ‘no biting’ rule. He must’ve cleared his throat half a dozen times to try and reset his brain, just hoping to keep it together a little bit longer.  

“So what do you think? I thought it could be a cute matching type thing, you know? Dracula and Mina.”  He gave a wistful sigh, hands planted firmly on your hips. 

“I cannot believe I agreed to go to this party, I’d much rather be able to stay home with you–in this– tonight.”

“So you like it?” You threw your arms around his neck, his cape in hand, pushing yourself even closer to him. He was just starting to recover from the shock of your costume choice, but the proximity got him flustered again. 

“Yes– that–that is accurate.” But when he leaned in to kiss you, you leaned away, pulling back to wrap the ribbons of his cape around his collar. 

He pouted intensely, but once you got the knot tied loosely, and tucked into the collar of his button up, you gave him two kisses. One on the lips, and then while he was still distracted and smiling, one on the tip of his nose. 

He responded by letting himself fall forward, face first, until his mouth met your shoulder. He pressed one kiss before letting his teeth start to lightly sink into your skin. 

“You are going to leave a mark, and I don't think I can handle the teasing from your coworkers. Even Ray was picking on me last time.” He didn’t come up from his leaned down position, but he did release his teeth long enough to get out a retort

“You’re the one who chose a vampire costume.” 

“And I stand by that. Now let’s go, spend 20 minutes making fun of Peter, he’s probably already drunk by now. But then we can come back here. I have the costume until the 3rd.” You gently pushed him back up, cupping his face with your hand. 

 “I’ll clear my calendar.”

[spook-spectre-ghost]

Hot take: I would’ve preferred they cast someone other than Carrie Coon as Callie.

Don’t get me wrong, Coon did a great job. She’s got the dry, cynical sense of humor down pat. I just don’t think she looks at all like she could be Egon’s daughter.

Here are Harold Ramis’ actual daughters, Violet and Mollie.

Gorgeous, gorgeous girls. Despite having different mothers, they share a couple of their dad’s features in common, namely prominent noses, curly hair, brown eyes, and long, thin faces. I don’t see any resemblance between them and Callie.

Following those features, I think Jenny Slate should’ve been cast as Callie instead.

Just look at her with Egon, Phoebe, and Trevor. They look like three generations of the same family.

(Also I think the hair/makeup department should’ve considered having Mckenna wear brown contacts, dark or light. That’s an extremely minor nitpick on my part.)

[bell-of-indecision]

This is a Russell Ziskey appreciation post

a.k.a. Four Specific Moments in Stripes That Pushed Me Down the Loving Harold Ramis Hole FOR GOOD

1. Feast your eyes, for here we have:

His stupid million dollar smile, serving pretty lips, perfect teeth, and also dimples?? how dare he

His nose, yes, I am obsessed with this man's nose, no I will not elaborate

His soft cloudy fluffy hair I wanna fdghsjdghsghd

The way he's equal parts amused and tired of John's shenanigans?? the duo ever

2. The cutest "!!!!!" you'll ever see

His reaction here is SO ADORABLE, he go "!!!!????!"

absolute BABY

3. Watch out for that guy, he's a troublemaker

Now THIS, we need to talk about this for a sec

The way he blatantly checks her out with that smirk on his face?? Jail

If Russell ever looked at me like that, call me origami bc I would FOLD, good LORD he's so handsome

Yes climb aboard soldier, climb aboard right now

4. Bathtub scene who?

Bathtub scene this, bathtub scene that, but why is no one talking about this scene right here? HUH? Him ever so slowly crawling on top of her, the unwavering eye contact, lips mere inches apart, Y'ALL this is so hot

I don't know what to say my knees were shaking the whole time and I just wanted to be her for a minute

How many times have I watched this? yes

Bonus!

The Ramis Eyebrow™

My heart is racing, goodbye

[littleboxcat]

Take a look at the crotch of the flight suit. Thank me later

Enjoy these lovely gifs I have sourced from Pinterest

[g3othermal3scapism]

My first movie reviewing type post because i have so many opinions on movies and i can ignore speaking on them no longer.

GHOSTBUSTERS: FROZEN EMPIRE

review under the cut

Okay, so this might not be the neatest post in the world. Whatever im yapping here. Figure it out yourself.

Let me start off by saying Ghostbusters is one of my favorite franchises in the whole world, if not my favorite. I love all of the movies, yes even the third one everyone hates, which I have a million other points to make on, but that’s another post. I personally adored Afterlife, I thought it was a great continuation that didn’t rely too heavily on nostalgia but was very much a respectful sort of love-letter to the originals, as well as a good beginning to a new era. Other than it lacking in the comedy department a little, (especially for a comedy movie fanchise) I thought it did most everything right, or at least well. I was in love with Pheobe and Podcast as well as Gary, and the story with Egon was a really lovely homage to the old ghostbusters and of course, the late great Harold Ramis. I was beyond excited for Frozen Empire. So don’t think this is coming from a place of bias, because I really hate to say it but I didn’t like Frozen Empire much at all. I’m going to try to break down my reasoning as organized as possible.

- It was not funny. I touched on this earlier, but one of the biggest issue with this new era is that they are severely lacking in the comedy department. Ghostbusters has always been a comedy movie, more than a horror and much more than a drama. These movies are trying too hard to be a serious action movie, and Frozen Empire was not really funny at all. It had that whole intro with the firefighters in 1904 that had not one comedic moment, and the rest of the offhanded jokes they tried to make felt forced and more akin to the writing of an old disney channel sitcom. This is especially troubling because they hired amazing comedians like Patton Oswald, Kumail Nanjiani, and James Acaster, as well as the old amazing Paul Rudd, Bill Murray, and honestly all of the og ghostbusters, yet all of them barely had a funny line through the whole thing. Really baffling and the attempts at seriousness and angst really did a disservice to the enjoyability of the movie IMO.

- It was insanely rushed and there was too much going on. This is probably the main, over-arcing problem that really ruined the movie. There’s so much build up to a main conflict that lasts five minutes and solved immediately. I was baffled, convinced it was a joke and there was still half a movie we had yet to see. They tried to hard to make so many (already not well writtwn) plots fit without having a good way to conclude them. This, as well as the story being far too overbloated with characters. They tried so hard to keep the original Ghostbusters and make like 47 main characters work, that our real main characters were shoved to the side. Pheobe was barely in it, and when she was, we never really got to see her being Pheobe. Callie should’ve been a much smaller character, and while in my heart Pheobe, Podcast, Lucky, and Trevor should have been the new Ghostbusters, I think this movie should have focused more on Pheobe, Gary, and Ray. I have a vague plot in my head but that’s not the point. The movie was just trying to do too much and managed to do absolutely nothing.

- Callie. This might be a hot take, but I don’t care about Callie at all. She should not have been a Ghostbuster in this movie. It doesn’t make any sense. In Afterlife, Callie showed no signs of being interested in ghostbusting or that world at all, she just loved her dad. She’s not a scientist whatsoever. Pheobe was right, she absolutely should have just been the receptionist. On top of it not making sense, Callie just isn’t interesting enough to be a main Ghostbuster. She’s already not a scientist, but she offers no special skills or anything unique to herself, she doesn’t have an interesting personality and her arc is so boring. She was not needed in this movie. Again, Trevor, Pheobe, Lucky, and Podcast should be the main Ghostbusters. I don’t give a fuck about this family business thing and it was a bad choice IMO. In all honesty Trevor doesn’t need to be super major either.

- Jumping off of that…. Trevor. Oh my god. They murdered him in this movie. Trevor was never my favorite, but I liked his character a lot in Afterlife. I thought he could have been more interesting, but compared to Empire Trevor, in Afterlife he’s like Tarantino-level entertaining. Trevor sucked in this movie. The words “I’m 18 now” should have never left his mouth. It’s such a tired, overdone bit, and they didn’t put any spin on it at all. And it was literally. His entire personality. It was so obnoxious. Give him something, especially since Finn Wolfhard is a funny actor. The idea of him having a running gag with Slimer wasn’t bad, and payoff was one of the funniest moments in the whole movie. (A three second scene of Finn Wolfhard seeing Slimer and going “Hey! I know him!” being the funniest bit in a Ghostbusters movie. Yikes.) Jesus fuck was he annoying in this movie, and him and Pheobe barely had any scenes together.

- Okay. Melody. Big fucking yikes. Pheobe being fruity? We been knew but I adored it. Exploring the ideas of inter-dimensional plane romance and relationships? Super interesting and a fun risk to take. Execution? Oh. my god. I loved Melody when we first met her at the park, I was super excited, but she just became.. nothing. We barely learned anything about her past or her life or her at all, and they totally missed the chance to make her from an old era, make her wear funny clothes and talk funny, and be an interesting character. She was just kind of this mysterious dead girl. Not learning about her past at all in turn made it hard to care about her story, if we don’t know her family or her life, why should we care that she wants to get back to them? Why is it justified that she would betray Pheobe to get to heaven or whatever? It doesn’t make sense. We see her at the diner, and the diner is called Melody and it’s never brought up again? If she were like a ‘50s themed ghost this would have been a fun little piece, but in the movie it doesn’t make sense, because we already know her place of death was her house that she burnt down. What does the diner have to do with anything? And the scene where she just stands in the road and has the goofiest corniest conversation with idk the voices in her head or whatever. God, pack it the fuck up. Then at the end, it’s so obvious she’s going to come back to save them, so the scene really holds no impact, even though it doesn’t make any sense for her to come back. She made her choice, she betrayed Pheobe to see her family (for whatever fucking reason), and she went through the barrier. We never see that the barrier didn’t work, or that something changed and made her change her decision. If her family is so fucking important, why on earth would she just go back to save people she hardly, or didn’t know? It doesn’t make any sense. Plus, if they wanted to give Pheobe a ghost girl romance (which I’m a fan of) they should have given her and Melody any semblance of chemistry. The actors didn’t have any chemistry and their dialogue was just sort of lame. Seeing Pheobe discover crushes and see how she would behave under those circumstances could have been very interesting, but it was just overall boring. Melody did not matter and nothing she ever did made sense. She wasn’t a character, she was a plot device to move the story along.

- This brings me to my next point.. none of the writing really made all that much sense? I mean they put all this work into the lore of the monster, even though really Ghostbusters shouldn’t be about lore, it should be about cool ghost designs and funny likeable characters, and then none of the lore mattered. I mean I barely remember anything about the big villain because it was all intensely boring and I just did not gaf at all. On top of this, the way the characters behave.. makes no sense. Pheobe’s family was so insensitive to her after she had to stop doing the thing she loved, despite it quite literally being her thing. In my opinion, if Pheobe wasn’t a ghostbuster, the whole thing would shut down. Trevor and Callie would be clueless, even with a little help with Gary, it just wouldn’t work. On top of this, when Pheobe destroyed the lion, and all the ghostbusters were mad at her??? What on earth was that about. The lion was quite literally going to kill Ray, and they’re ghostbusters. It is quite literally in the job description that you’re gonna destroy some shit and cause some problems. She had to, and Winston was all up her ass about it? It just didn’t make sense. He would’ve been on her side completely, and really all of the ghotsbusters involved shouldve been fighting for Pheobe. They’re supposed to be a team?? And I mean after everyone spend the movie getting mad at Pheobe literally anytime she breathed, the only time she actually messed up, almost killing herself and causing the end of the world for a cute girl, everyone’s all “Oh we’re just glad you’re okay!! everybody makes mistakes!!!” It’s so clownish actually. There are a million other things that just don’t make sense, but I’d have to rewatch it to make any real coherent analysis of them.

- The villain was so fucking goofy?? It was just this big cartoonish stereotype villain that wasn’t ironic at all. It was so unserious and not scary at all. That design sucked shit and there was nothing interesting about him. What’s the point of Ghostbusters if the big villain doesn’t talk and doesn’t have any funny scenes? Plus, like, oh wow big evil world ending dead god. I’ve never seen anything like this before. My mind is blown, Ghostbusters, you’ve done it again. (sarcasm 😊)

- Podcast and Pheobe were barely in the movie. They carried the last movie and they’re my favorite, so this is slightly biased, but them not being in it at all was insane. Especially, since, you know, pheobe is the main character. Even on the poster, it’s way too filled with characters, and Pheobe is no where near the focal point of the poster. It’s fucking Paul Rudd for some reason. Besides this, Podcast was no where near as funny as he should’ve been. Both Pheobe and Podcast lost that young awkward charm that made them so loveable, and you cannot convince me Podcast stopped being so dorky so easily. I also believe he would be super interesting in working in Ray’s shop, but I don’t believe he would let everyone be ghostbusting without him?? Pheobe ghostbusting without podcast? Absolutely not on his watch. Their characters were a little butchered.

- Ah. The ending. This fuckass ending. You saw it from a million miles away and so did I, and so did everyone fucking else. It was the most expected ending I’ve ever seen. No twists, nothing goes wrong, and when it does, it does not matter. None of it matters. Oh they all get suited up and team up? Doesn’t matter. you’re all frozen and will do nothing for the ending. Oh no, they all got frozen and can’t stop the bad guy? Doesn’t matter. Unrelated side character comes out of nowhere and saves the day in five seconds with no problem. No one lift a finger. Not even to mention how ridiculous the ice spikes were. They did all this set up with Kumail Nanjiani, jist for the payoff to be that. None of the conflicts they ran into in the movie had really any impact on the story later. They were just things that happened.

Overall, I thought the movie was a mess that was trying too hard at everything and succeeding very little. Now I’ll talk about some things I did like! Keeping the old ghostbusters, especially Ray, I thought was a good choice. The idea of Winston being the rich one who’s really running ghostbusters behind the scenes is perfect, especially considering Ernie Husdson really being the one to keep Ghostbusters alive, and having ghostbusters tech where he works with ghosts and makes containment units and new traps and what not was great. Pheobe and Gary trying go navigate their new relationship was an interesting and heartwarming idea, even if I thought it wasn’t executed amazingly. Pheobe tinkering with her proton pack and coating it with copper to blast the monster was a really fun, great idea. I love when they do little things like that, putting little spins on things, and I wish we could’ve seen more of that. Venkman had some of the best scenes in the movie. Him throwing the pens at Kumail Nanjiana was a very fun scene, and did keep the spirit of Peter Venkman very much. More than that, the scene where he shows up at the firehouse and immediately goes to wear he has a hidden thing of Whisky was gold. A perfect Venkman scene, a perfect “i lived here for years” moment, and very funny.

This is my analysis of ghostbusters frozen empire 😊😊🙏💖 sorry ghostbusters fandom i am one of you i love you please dont cancel me or whatever

[seas-storyarchive]

Remember this [Post]? Yeah, I got some changes, some reasons for them, and a long rant. Because of a Certain Character.

I still ship: Romanogers (otp, I feel like they work so much better as a pair as they had actual chemistry and it spanned multiple films. A travesty), Thunderscience (again, better chemistry that with anyone else they could potentially be with. Granted it was mostly in a THOR movie and tidbits from within IW), Danbeau (Harold, they are married lesbians and they have a daughter. I feel like this was part of my lesbian awakening, not because I find the ladies hot - I don't, but that's Ace for you - but the music is just amazing and just the clothes were incredible), Scarletvision (it's not hurting anyone, it's cute, I wish they had more moments together in the main movies)

And my Crackship: Thundershield (it's a fun thing to think about)

Why I don't ship certain ships: yeah.. I don't ship Pepper/T*ny or Ironhusbands. You'll notice a theme here. So rewatching the MCU, I discovered I can't stand T*ny St*rk. I hate his attitude and his actions and the way he treated Parker and Harley and there are A TON more posts going about how fucked up of a person this hypocrite narcissist is. Oh, his parents are dead? Guess who else's parents are dead: early 2000's (Sam Rami) Peter Parker! The BEST Spiderman because he wasn't some rich asshole's spastic teen sugar baby. I guess Garfield's Spidey is cool too, at the time I wasn't into Spidey. (Anyone know where I can watch his movies?)

So I agree with Pietro and Wanda, who wanted revenge on Tony because it was HIS bomb that destroyed their lives, regardless of which fuckers actually used it, they are ACTUAL VICTIMS of his weapons - I feel like even the franchise directors forgot this IMPORTANT DETAIL - so yeah. There's that.

[froggyphevoli]

My Thirst is Real, Though He is Not

[Warning! This post contains spoilers for Ghostbusters: Afterlife.]

I think this whole “bringing dead actors back with CGI” thing is officially starting to fuck with me. But not for the reasons you’re probably expecting.

When Star Wars did it, I know it was controversial because people weren’t sure if it was tasteful or not. I haven’t really made up my mind yet on how I feel about the Star Wars ones, but I do think the way that Ghostbusters: Afterlife handled it was pretty much perfect. Spengler had no speaking lines, and the only time you saw his face (other than the old commercial scenes) were when he was a ghost, which would have required CGI anyway. Plus the filmmakers got permission from Harold Ramis’s family first, and the entire movie was basically a tribute to him.

So, why did this version of CGI resurrection fuck with my head so much, despite being executed as flawlessly as possible? I’m just gonna be blunt here: Egon Spengler became a GILF.

It gets weirder though. Ramis died several years ago, so Grandpa Spengler was created by aging up archive footage from the original Ghostbusters movies. Not only did Spengler canonically live longer than the actor who played him, but the filmmakers also decided to keep him in the same physical shape as he was back in the ‘80s, rather than getting a body double who looked more like Ramis in his later years. And the result was… quite hot.

In other words, I suddenly found myself attracted to a version of a person that never existed, although the person himself was real (Ramis). I mean, I guess “I’m attracted to the character but not the actor” and vice versa are things that happen, but this seems a bit different.

Jesus fucking Christ, I grew up watching the first two Ghostbusters movies, and I was never horny for any of those characters until last week when I saw Afterlife and ghostly old Spengler appeared. Now I’m scouring the Internet for Spengler content, and even ‘80s Spengler is really doing it for me, despite that not previously being the case.

It also doesn’t help that Curtis keeps joking that I look like a nonbinary Spengler because of my hair, so on top of all the other things that make this weird, I’m also wondering if having a crush on this character makes me narcissistic and/or incesty.

HELP?!?!?!?

[littleboxcat]

Ok but this scene had me dying

what????

Russell Ziskey - Stripes (1981)

[crdenhart]

10 Movies You Should Watch This Halloween 2020

It’s the first full week of October, so Halloween is in full swing! This year, I continue my tradition of recommending some excellent films to watch during the Halloween season but with a COVID-19 twist for many of the movies on this list. Here are the 10 movies you should check out this Halloween:

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

“My family’s always been in meat.”

This movie recently got a 4K remaster making it look even more gruesome than ever! The film feels so real compared many other slasher horror films with the deaths coming out of nowhere and the killings being hyper-realistic. They even used real skeletons for the making of some of the scenes! The sound design also is something so terrifying; you’ll never want to listen to the sound of a chainsaw ever again!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)

“Let’s do the Time Warp again”

One of the most fun horror movies of all time celebrates its 45th anniversary this Halloween! I like how the film satirizes the B-movie mad scientist genre and Tim Curry gives a stellar performance as Dr. Frankenfurter. Also the songs are so fun and catchy and will get stuck in your head forever! My favorite songs in the movie are “Science Fiction Double Feature” and “Hot Patootie - Bless My Soul.”

Hausu (1977)

“My fingers are gone!”

“House” is the title in English. This trippy Japanese haunted-house movie is a real treat for the eyes! The film is so mesmerizingly weird with its flashy colors and cartoon-like special effects. Definitely one worth checking out if you are looking to feel terrified and strange at the same time!

The Hunger (1983)

“Forever and ever!”

David Bowie as a vampire... yes please! The makeup and effects are really good in the movie especially in the scenes as Bowie’s vampire character ages rapidly from lack of drinking blood. The film has some creepy sequences, including some intense scenes in which it seems as though Bowie’s vampire is going to claim another victim and a scene in which Susan Sarandon’s character comes across several coffins of vampires. Definitely one of the scariest vampire movies of the last 40 years!

Ghostbusters (1984)

“Who you gonna call?”

We didn’t get the highly-anticipated Ghostbusters: Afterlife this year because of the pandemic, so to tide us over until it comes out, this Halloween would be a good time to revisit the original horror-comedy classic. Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis and the rest of the cast give some of their most memorable performances in this movie. Growing up I used to watch this and its sequel in the ooze-green boxset that included a couple animated episodes; highly recommend tracking a copy down if you want the best Halloween viewing experience.

The Exorcist III (1990)

“I have dreams… of a rose, and then falling down a long flight of steps.”

This movie might be one of the best horror sequels ever made! George C. Scott gives a fantastic performance in the lead role as do Jason Miller (returning as his role of Father Karris from the original Exorcist) and Brad Dourif as the Gemini Killer. I saw many of the filming locations when I visited DC back in 2015. A majority of the movie takes place in a hospital, which is usually scary enough on its own. There is an especially frightening scene involving a possessed patient and surgical scissors! This year marks its 30th anniversary, so this Halloween would be a good time to check it out if you haven’t seen it in a long time or are a fan of the original and never saw this one (you can actually skip the second one as this film makes no direct references to that movie). There is a director’s cut that was released a few years that provides some good deleted scenes and extra dialogue, though overall I prefer the theatrical cut.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

“Michael Myers is my business!”

This 6th entry in the Halloween series celebrates its 25th anniversary this year. Lots of fans consider this the “worst” of the Halloween movies, but I find lots of good merits in the film, especially the producer’s cut released 2014 which features several extended and alternate scenes. I really like the Halloween (holiday) scenery of the film making it feel like it really takes place on October 31st unlike most of the series particularly in the scenes taking place at the Halloween carnival (the “red rain” scene being a highlight). The cinematography and suspense also are superior compared to many of the sequels, probably the closest the series has ever come to capture the style of the first two films. I also like how the film explores the mystery of Michael Myers more so than the other ones giving him a reason for his killing nature other than he is just “evil.” This movie is the last time Michael Myers is actually scary and not just a “killing machine” or some dummy for Busta Rhymes to kong-fu fight (ie Halloween: Resurrection). This also marked the final appearance of Donald Pleasance as Dr. Sam Loomis as he died in real life shortly after filming his scenes. Definitely check out the producer’s cut if you have never seen the film or you have only seen the theatrical cut as it makes it one of the best Halloween films.

Goosebumps: “The Haunted Mask II” (1996)

“That’s no mask! That’s your face!”

Everyone is wearing masks these days, so what a fitting episode of Goosebumps to watch this Halloween! This is one of my favorite episodes along with the first one from 1995 (which was on my 2018 Halloween watch list). The scenes set in the basement of the costume shop are so creepy; something about abandoned places, especially in the dark, have always frightfully fascinated me. I used to watch the VHS of this movie every Halloween at my grandparents’ house and always hope they would do a 3rd one. Maybe someday!

Cabin Fever (2002)

“I don’t want any of us getting sick!”

Everyone is worried about coronavirus right now, so this Halloween would be the ideal time to check out this slasher in which a deadly virus is the killer. Really creepy shots of people getting infected and dying from the virus; the movie will make you a germaphobe! Interesting note that David Lynch was originally going to produce the movie but backed out during production, however Lynch’s frequent composer Angelo Badalamenti provides some of the music for the film.

Doctor Sleep (2019)

“We’re all dying. The world’s just one big hospice with fresh air.”

This sequel to The Shining was released last November nearly 40 years after the original, but it was well worth the wait! The film visually maintains the same style and tone of Kubrick’s original film while expanding upon some of its themes but without giving too much information as to ruin the mysteries surrounding the original. Like some of the other films on this list, there is a director’s cut which fleshes out scenes and characters; highly recommend it!

As a Halloween treat, here is a shot from my new spiritual horror film Sister, which should be released sometime this coming year! Happy Halloween everyone!

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | Ghostbusters (Reitman, 1984)

This review contains spoilers.

A key cinematic text of the Reagan era, Ghostbusters presents a tale of triumph over big government and bureaucratic waste by free enterprise. This is not a remotely original observation on my part (director Ivan Reitman basically admitted this was intentional, and J. Hoberman’s Make My Day discusses the film extensively), but this is probably the first viewing when it really caught my attention how comprehensively the film’s politics are imbued into the narrative. After being cast off by a mostly undemanding public sector environment where grants are readily given away, our heroes find success as small businessmen, only to be antagonized by excessive government regulation (astutely embodied by the exceedingly punchable William Atherton) that exacerbates the very problems it is supposed to mitigate. Eventually government gets out of the way, allowing the private sector to take the reigns and save the day.

Of course, if the film were merely a political screed, we probably wouldn’t be still talking about it (and I probably wouldn’t enjoy it so much, given that my politics don’t exactly line up with those of the film), but the fact is, as most people who’ve seen the film know, it’s a supremely entertaining example of the special effects blockbuster (and almost acts as self-commentary in that respect, making a plot point out of its marketing campaign). Reitman has shown a proclivity for action-packed climaxes throughout his career (Stripes and Twins both transition abruptly into action-heavy third acts which don’t necessarily jive with their overall tones, although in the case of the former it can be defended as a parody of the genre took over that decade), and Ghostbusters easily features his best-executed one, evolving organically from the story and ably handling the imaginative special effects. It helps that Reitman’s direction is much tighter here than the scruffiness of his preceding films (Meatballs and Stripes, at least until their climaxes, are fairly episodic in structure) and the film is grounded with a real feel for its mythology (credit goes to Dan Aykroyd’s belief in the supernatural, which also inspired him to write in a scene where a ghost gives his character a beej), so that, despite the ample humour, the whole thing doesn’t just feel like a put on. It also helps that the film has a real sense of place and character, the New York City location giving it enough grit to give it a sense of life outside of the special effects, and the heroes, however sarcastic, exhibit enough recognizable human emotion for us to identify with them.

Reitman juggles the tones deftly and knows when to dial it up or down, allowing room for smaller jokes and seemingly improvisational banter in between the broader, zippier ones and the spectacle. (He’s not interested in getting through a dozen jokes a minute, and the film is all the better for it.) It helps that he’s joined by a great cast, not just in the leads (Bill Murray as the supreme smartass, Aykroyd and Harold Ramis as deadpan nerds of varying stripes) but also in the supporting cast. Ernie Hudson’s role was greatly reduced to his dismay (an injustice the sequel attempts to correct for), but he’s valuable as a skeptical, valuable working class perspective to the lunacy (and who achieves empowerment and self-actualization through the heroes’ enterprise, furthering the Reagonomic commentary). Both Gregory Hines and Eddie Murphy were considered for the role at one point, and the latter would have brought a very different energy to the role, perhaps as a foil to Murray’s wisecracking. Weaver’s romantic interest is underwritten in some ways but her physicality is essential to the character (apparently she won the role by leaping on a table and acting like a dog), while Rick Moranis and Annie Potts seem to be playing each others’ male and female equivalent. (The movie attempts to push the Potts’ character into a courtship with the oblivious Ramis that amusingly goes nowhere, although its insistence that Potts isn’t totally hot as fuck is completely unconvincing. Sorry Ivan, but I can see what’s onscreen.)

But ultimately what makes the film succeed is its sense of irreverence. The film co-opts the form of a blockbuster while undercutting its excesses. The arrival of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the climax feels like a punchline on the dearth of imagination accompanying the technical possibilities of bug budget special effects, but isn’t so jokey as to completely deflate the film. (This is another way in which it parallels the Reagan presidency, outsiders taking control of the institutions they attacked.) The early Saturday Night Live / SCTV stars weren’t particularly photogenic and had a kind of charisma very atypical of movie stars at the time. These were guys who looked like they had no business making movies but somehow broke into them anyway and knew they were getting away with it. The sequel features the same director and stars more comfortable in their new place in the industry and lacks the same hunger as a result, even if it’s executed pretty capably. I have not seen the remake, but now that Saturday Night Live is an institution and plays political softball (I think of Trump hosting or Pete Davidson fucking up a punchline and insisting on making nice with the target of his joke), I have a hard time believing that a new batch of talent pulled from that ecosystem can replicate the original’s energy. Ghostbusters isn’t terribly hard-edged, but it comes from a pretty particular sensibility for which it makes no apologies. And more importantly, it’s really fucking funny.

[aion-rsa]

Ghostbusters: Afterlife - Who is Ivo Shandor?

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A brief shot from the new Ghostbusters trailer ties into a threat that's been looming over the team since the first movie.

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When it comes to Ghostbusters lore, if you were to ask about their biggest villains, the list would begin with the likes of Stay Puft/Gozer, Slimer, and Vigo the Carpathian. Then maybe some of the more memorable monsters from the cartoon or someone might bring up that incel guy from the reboot. But then there’s Ivo Shandor, a footnote of the franchise who has gradually transformed from a deep cut to being the puppet master of everything ecto.

The trailer for Ghostbusters: Afterlife hit recently and while it’s established as a sequel to the original two movies, they’re fairly light on the actual references so far. There’s a ghost trap, there’s old footage of the original team in the '80s, we see Egon’s old jumpsuit, what appears to be a Gozer dog, and so on. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, characters are shown walking towards a sign saying, “SHANDOR MINING COMPANY.”

Yes, Shandor. As in Ivo Shandor. So who the hell is Ivo Shandor?

The original Ghostbusters movie namedropped Shandor once and only once as part of an exposition dump. When the crew were in their jail cell, Egon started to explain just why Gozer and its kind were targeting that one specific building and why it was so haunted.

“It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building. Something terrible is about to enter our world, and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920, he started a secret society.”

Understanding the situation, Peter added, “Let me guess: Gozer woshippers?”

So all the marshmallow golems and demon dogs and so on were all traced back to one nutjob with a forgettable name. Now, with the minimal amount of stuff we know about Afterlife, part of the backstory appears to be that at some point after Ghostbusters 2, Egon Spenkler moved to Oklahoma for the sake of keeping an eye on something Shandor cooked up with his mining company. He definitely didn’t stop it (at least completely) and it’s up to his family to finish the job.

Ivo Shandor started the ghost uprising in the '80s and his legacy is to bring it back in 2020.

Coincidentally, this lines up with Shandor’s position in the franchise. This man with a throwaway piece of dialogue to his name is constantly being farmed out into being something much bigger for the sake of follow-ups.

To be fair, he was originally going to be a bigger deal in the first movie. In an earlier version of the script, Shandor was supposed to appear as Gozer’s initial form during the climax, juxtaposing this apocalyptic, godly threat with a mundane guy in a suit. They even wanted Paul Reubens to play him, which is...wow, that’s excessively '80s.

He’s a better vampire than a ghost, anyway.

In 2009, a big Ghostbusters video game was released on various platforms – and remastered a decade later – with emphasis on being the “official” version of Ghostbusters 3. It featured all the actors reprising their roles (excluding Sigourney Weaver and Rick Moranis) and a script that was partially worked on by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis. It took place in 1991 with the player being a silent rookie getting roped into a “greatest hits” storyline that involved the likes of taking on Slimer and Stay Puft all over again.

read more: The Scariest Episodes of The Real Ghostbusters

While the game set up the return of Gozer, the true mastermind was Ivo Shandor, who was hiding in plain sight by possessing the mayor. What better way to undermine the Ghostbusters from doing their job than screwing with them from the top of the bureaucratic ladder? With Gozer defeated a second time over, Shandor decided to overstep his boundaries by turning the plot into a scheme to turn himself into a god. Initially, that meant sacrificing Peter’s new love interest Dr. Ilyssa Selwyn, who – wouldn’t you know it – was Shandor’s descendant.

In the end, he achieved power and was able to choose his own form as the destructor. The Ghostbusters took him out by going back to the “cross the streams” well and moved on.

The IDW Ghostbusters series, while bringing in concepts from the animated continuity (ie. Kylie from the underrated Extreme Ghostbusters being the team’s researcher), only treated the two movies and the video game as canon. That meant that Shandor wasn’t really on the table as a nemesis, but there were references to him here and there.

The initial storyline revolved around a being named Idunas, who was hellbent on bringing back Gozer and forcing Ray to imagine him as something more threatening than a giant marshmallow man. While he had an otherworldly look to him, one of the original concepts was to have Idunas take Shandor’s form as a reference to the unused idea from the movie.

One of the comic runs ended with a big storyline involving Gozer’s war with his sister Tiamat. Gozer would show up in Ray’s subconscious to taunt him in various forms. One of those forms was presumably Shandor, looking very much like a slightly-off-model Pee Wee Herman. Nice that they finally got to scratch that itch.

Otherwise, outside of being namedropped, Shandor appeared in a short story called “The Origins of Slimer” by Erik Burnham and Rachael Stott, where the Ghostbusters went over their various theories on what Slimer is or who he was. While they suggested that he could have been a chef or a vagrant, Ray seemed pretty sure that Slimer was some kind of failed glutton-based entity conjured by Shandor and his cult.

While Shandor didn’t get too much lip service in the comics, Erik Burnham eventually decided to make Tobin’s Spirit Guide from Egon’s exposition into an actual book. Albeit, a book updated with specific ghosts from Ghostbusters itself. It was there that we got to see the very entry that Egon read many years ago, going into more detail about his horrible experiments, path to Gozer worship, and the suggestion that he died from trying to give himself goat legs.

I mean, if you're going to be demonic, might as well go all the way.

Gavin Jasper writes for Den of Geek and is neither too hot to handle nor too cold to hold. Read more of his articles here and follow him on Twitter @Gavin4L

Read and download the Den of Geek Lost In Space Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature

Books

Gavin Jasper

Dec 11, 2019

Ghostbusters

from Books https://ift.tt/2YOeaIN

[tacticalcinnamonroll]

Got a twofer there with Eugene, too!

he’s so hot and for what? 🥺💕

[chimechoho-a]

GHOSTBUSTERS Final Film Transcript original script by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis transcribed by Adam Bertocci Outside New York Public Library Eerie music. Pigeons fly from the steps. New York Public Library, reading room ALICE pushes a cart of books. New York Public Library, basement ALICE brings some books down to the basement of library. As she walks along, a few books float to other shelves. When she turns around to investigate, nothing happens. She makes some notes on a pad and passes a card catalog. The drawers slide open, spilling cards all over the place. She screams and runs. She runs through the shelves. Comes to what must be the ghost; she screams. Her hair blows back. Ghostbusters logo dissolves onto screen. Music: Ghostbusters. Columbia University Main title pops up. Ghostbusters theme keeps playing. We see people going in and out of the building. Corridor outside Paranormal Studies Laboratory We hear DR. PETER VENKMAN giving the ESP test. On door: "Dr. Egon Spengler Dr. Raymond Stantz Dr. Peter Venkman Venkman burn in hell Maid please make up this room as soon as possible" Inside lab PETER gives ESP test to MALE STUDENT and JENNIFER. MALE STUDENT is hooked up to electrodes. PETER All right, I'm going to turn over the next card. I want you to concentrate. I want you to tell me what it is. card is a star MALE STUDENT Square? PETER showing him card and shocking him Good guess, but wrong. holds a circle card up in front of JENNIFER Clear your head. All right, tell me what you think it is. JENNIFER Is it a star? PETER It is a star! Very good. That's great. holds up a square card for MALE STUDENT All right. Think hard. What is it? MALE STUDENT Circle? PETER showing him square and shocking him Ooh, close, but definitely wrong. MALE STUDENT's gum shoots out of his mouth. He puts it back in and keeps chewing. PETER holds a plus sign card up for JENNIFER. Okay. All right. Ready? What is it? no answer Come on. JENNIFER Figure eight. PETER pretending to be astonished Incredible. That's five for five. You can't see these, can you? JENNIFER No, no. PETER You're not cheating me, are you? JENNIFER No, I swear, they're just coming to me. PETER to MALE STUDENT Okay. Nervous? MALE STUDENT Yes... I don't like this. PETER Don't worry, you only have seventy-five more to go. holds up a card with three wavy lines Okay, what's this one? MALE STUDENT A couple of wavy lines. PETER who wants to zap him just for fun Sorry! This isn't your lucky day! MALE STUDENT I know. I - PETER reaches for the little lever. JENNIFER seems amused, so PETER winks to her. MALE STUDENT stumbles over some words before PETER zaps him. Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this! PETER You volunteered, didn't you? We're paying you, aren't we? MALE STUDENT Yeah, but I didn't know you were giving me electric shocks! What are you trying to prove here anyway? PETER I'm studying the effect of negative reinforcement on ESP ability. MALE STUDENT The effect?! I'll tell you what the effect is! It's pissing me off! PETER Well, then maybe my theory is correct! MALE STUDENT ripping electrodes off hands You can keep the five bucks, I've had it! runs out of room and slams door PETER I will mister! kindly, to JENNIFER You may as well get used to that, that's the kind of resentment that your ability is going to provoke in some people. JENNIFER Do you think I have it, Dr. Venkman? PETER You're no fluke, Jennifer. DR. RAYMOND STANTZ enters the room, all in a flurry. RAY grabbing stuff off shelves This is it! This is definitely it! Did those UV lenses come in for the video camera? And that blank tape? I need it. The one you erased yesterday. PETER to JENNIFER Can you excuse me for a second? JENNIFER Sure. PETER runs to RAY, jumps up and smacks him on the head. PETER I'm right in the middle of something, Ray! Ah, I need a little more time with this subject. Could you come back in an hour, hour and a half? RAY Peter, at 1:40 PM at the main branch of the New York Public Library on Fifth Avenue, ten people witnessed a free floating, full torso, vaporous apparition. It blew books off shelves from twenty feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarian! PETER I'm very excited. I'm very pleased. I want you to get right down there, check it out and get back to me. RAY No, no. PETER Get right back to me... RAY You're coming with us on this one! Spengler went down there and took PKE valances. Went right off the top of the scale. Buried the needle! We're close on this one. I can feel it! PETER I can feel it. We're very, very close. to JENNIFER I have to go now, Jennifer, but I'd like to work with you some more. Perhaps you could come back this evening, say at - JENNIFER Eight o'clock? PETER I was just about to say eight o'clock! You are a legitimate phenomenon! Outside New York Public Library PETER is yelling at RAY all the way there. PETER As a friend I have to tell you: you've finally gone round the bend on this ghost business. You guys have been running your ass off meeting and greeting every schizo in the five boroughs who says he has a paranormal experience. What have you seen? New York Public Library, reading room RAY Of course you forget, Peter, I was present at an undersea, unexplained, mass sponge migration. PETER Ooh, Ray, those sponges migrated about a foot and a half. DR. EGON SPENGLER is under the table, listening to it with a stethescope. PETER runs over to him and speaks in a zombie voice. Egon... EGON is puzzled. PETER raps table with knuckles, then slams it with a book. EGON is starled and jumps up. EGON Oh, you're here. PETER Yeah, what have you got? EGON This is big, Peter. This is very big. There is definitely something here. PETER Egon, this reminds me of the time you tried to drill a hole through your head. You remember that? EGON That would have worked if you hadn't stopped me. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR walks up to the three. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR I'm Roger Delicore. Are you the men from the university? PETER introducing them all Yes. I'm Dr. Venkman. Dr. Stantz, Egon. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR Thank you for coming. I hope we can clear this up quickly and quietly. PETER Let's not rush things. We don't even know what you have yet. They go to a smaller room. ALICE is lying on a table. ALICE I don't remember seeing any legs, but it definitely had arms because it reached out for me. RAY Arms?! I can't wait to get a look at this thing! PETER Alice, I'm going to ask you a few standard questions, okay? Have you or any of your family ever been diagnosed schizophrenic, mentally incompetent? ALICE My uncle thought he was St. Jerome. PETER I'd call that a big yes. Uh, are you habitually using drugs, stimulants, alcohol? ALICE No! PETER No, no. Just asking. Are you, Alice, menstruating right now? LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR What has that got to do with it? PETER Back off, man. I'm a scientist. EGON Ray, it's moving. New York Public Library, basement EGON is in front, with PKE meter. RAY has a video camera. PETER is in the back, bored stiff. He starts making scary gestures at RAY. They come to a tall tower of books. RAY Look! EGON This is hot, Ray. RAY Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947. PETER You're right. No human being would stack books like this. RAY Listen! eerie music You smell something? they go to a card catalog; it is slimed Talk about telekinetic activity! Look at this mess! EGON Raymond, look at this. RAY Ectoplasmic residue. EGON Venkman, get a sample of this. RAY It's the real thing! PETER Somebody blows their nose and you want to keep it? EGON I'd like to analyze it. As RAY and EGON continue talking, PETER scrapes slime into a dish. Gets it all over his hands. Groans and grunts. Flicks slime away. Wipes hands and feet on books. RAY There's more over here! EGON I'm getting stronger readings here, this way. RAY Come on. They turn a corner. PETER gives EGON slime. PETER Egon, your mucus. a bookshelf falls with a crash This happen to you before? RAY shakes head Oh, first time? RAY nods. They continue. EGON's PKE meter goes nuts. They see LIBRARY GHOST. EGON It's here. RAY A full torso apparition, and it's real. PETER So what do we do? no answer Could you come over here and talk to me for a second, please? pulls RAY by the ear Could you just come over here for a second, please? Right over here. Come here, Francine! Come here. What do we do? RAY I don't know. What do you think? EGON starts with calculator, but PETER slaps it away PETER Stop that! RAY We've got to make contact. One of us should actually try to speak to it. EGON Good idea. They look to PETER. He groans and goes to the ghost. RAY starts taking pictures. PETER Hello. I'm Peter. Where are you from? Originally. LIBRARY GHOST Ssh. PETER going back All right. Okay, the usual stuff isn't working. RAY Okay, I have a plan. I know exactly what to do. Now stay close, stay close. I know. Do exactly as I say. Ready, ready, get her! LIBRARY GHOST turns into a monster and scares them. They run away. Music: Cleanin' Up The Town. Outside New York Public Library PETER, RAY and EGON run away. LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR Did you see it? What was it? PETER We'll get back to you! LIBRARY ADMINISTRATOR What?! Columbia University grounds PETER, RAY and EGON go back to the lab. PETER is laughing at RAY. PETER Hee, hee, hee! Get her. That was your whole plan. Get her. It was scientific. RAY I just got overexcited. But wasn't it incredible, Pete? I mean, we actually touched the etheric plane. You know what this could mean to the university? PETER Yeah, it's gonna be bigger than the microchip. Ray, I'm very excited. EGON working with calculator I wouldn't say the experience was totally wasted. According to these new readings, I think we have an excellent chance of actually catching a ghost and holding it indefinitely. RAY Well, this is great! If this ionization rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we could really bust some heads! In a spiritual sense, of course. PETER Spengs? You serious about this catching a ghost? EGON I'm always serious. PETER Egon, I'm gonna take back some of the things I've said about you. You... you've earned it. gives EGON a candy bar Their lab Moving men cart stuff out of the room. DEAN YEAGER stands in wait. Music: I Can Wait Forever. RAY The possibilities are, are limitless! Hey, Dean Yeager! PETER I trust you're moving us to better quarters on campus. DEAN YEAGER No! You're being moved off campus. The board of regents has decided to terminate your grant. You are to vacate these premises immediately. PETER This is preposterous. I demand an explanation. DEAN YEAGER Fine. The university will no longer continue any funding of any kind for your group's activities. PETER But the kids love us! DEAN YEAGER Dr. Venkman, we believe that the purpose of science is to serve mankind. You, however, seem to regard science as some kind of dodge or hustle. Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy and your conclusions are highly questionable. You, Dr. Venkman, are a poor scientist. PETER I see. DEAN YEAGER And you have no place in this department or in this university. Outside Columbia University RAY is worriedly pacing. PETER is relaxing with a bottle. RAY This is a major disgrace. Forget MIT or Stanford now. They wouldn't touch us with a ten-meter cattle-prod. PETER You're always so concerned about your reputation. Einstein did his best stuff when he was working as a patent clerk! RAY You know how much a patent clerk earns? PETER No! RAY Personally, I liked the university. They gave us money and facilities. We didn't have to produce anything! You've never been out of college. You don't know what it's like out there. I've worked in the private sector. They expect results. PETER For whatever reasons, Ray, call it fate. Call it luck. Call it karma. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that we were destined to get thrown out of this dump. RAY For what purpose? PETER To go into business for ourselves. Offers RAY a drink. RAY drinks. RAY This ecto-containment system that Spengler and I have in mind is going to require a load of bread to capitalize. Where are we going to get the money? PETER I don't know. drinks I don't know. Outside Manhattan City Bank The three come out of the bank. Fanfare. PETER You're never going to regret this, Ray! RAY My parents left me that house! I was born there! PETER You're not going to lose the house. Everybody has three mortgages nowadays. RAY But at nineteen percent! You didn't even bargain with the guy! EGON flashing a calculator Ray, for your information, the interest rate alone for the first five years comes to $95,000. PETER Will you guys relax? We are on the threshold of establishing the indispensable defense science of the next decade. Professional paranormal investigations and eliminations. The franchise rights alone will make us rich beyond our wildest dreams. Outside Hook and Ladder No. 8 The building's windows are whitewashed. We hear REAL ESTATE AGENT talking. Inside Hook and Ladder No. 8 REAL ESTATE WOMAN shows PETER and EGON the fire house. REAL ESTATE WOMAN There's office space, sleeping quarters and showers on the next floor and a full kitchen on the top left. PETER It just seems a little pricey for a unique fixer-upper opportunity, that's all. What do you think, Egon? EGON I think this building should be condemned. There's serious metal fatigue in all the load-bearing members, the wiring is substandard, it's completely inadequate for our power needs, and the neighborhood is like a demilitarized zone. RAY calling to them from upstairs Hey! Does this pole still work? slides down the fire pole Wow! This place is great! When can we move in? You've got to try this pole! I'm gonna get my stuff. runs up stairs Hey, we should stay here tonight. Sleep here! You know, to try it out! PETER I think we'll take it. REAL ESTATE WOMAN Good. Outside Ivo Shandor Building The building is huge and grandiose. Ominous music. Show the terror dog statues on the roof. DANA BARRETT gets out of a taxi and enters the building. Inside Shandor Building DANA gets off the elevator. Sees a neighbor. DANA Oh, hi. LOUIS TULLY pops out of his apartment LOUIS Oh, Dana, it's you! DANA Oh, hi, yes Louis, it's me. LOUIS I thought it was the drugstore. DANA Oh, are you sick? LOUIS Oh! No, no, I'm fine, I feel great! Just ordered some more vitamins and stuff. I was just exercising. I taped a 20-minute workout and played it back at high speed on my machine so it only took ten minutes. I got a great workout. DANA Good. LOUIS You wanna come in for a mineral water or something? DANA Oh, I'd really like to, Louis, but I have to go rehearsal now. Excuse me. LOUIS No sweat, I'll take a rain check on that. I always have plenty of low sodium mineral water and other nutritious foods in the house. But you already know that. DANA Yeah, I know that. LOUIS Listen, that reminds me, I'm having a big party for all my clients, my fourth anniversary as an accountant, you know, and even though you do your own tax return, which you shouldn't do, I'd like you to stop by, being that you're my neighbor and all - DANA cutting him off Well, thank you, Louis, I'll really try to stop by. LOUIS Listen, that reminds me, you shouldn't leave your TV on so loud when you go out. The creep down the hall phoned the manager. DANA That's strange, I didn't realize I'd left it on. LOUIS Well, yeah, you know what I did? I climbed on the ledge and tried to disconnect the cable, but I couldn't get in, so you know what I did? I turned my TV up real loud too so everyone would think all our TVs had something wrong with them - DANA closing her door on him Bye, Louis. LOUIS Okay, so I'll see you later, huh?! I'll give you a call! I'm going to go have a shower. tries to open his door, but he's locked himself out DANA's living room DANA watches an ad on TV. In the ad: PETER, RAY and EGON stand outside the fire house wearing long blue coats and talk to the camera. RAY Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? EGON Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? PETER Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter or ghost? RAY If the answer is yes, then don't wait another minute. Pick up your phone and call the professionals. PETER, RAY, EGON Ghostbusters! RAY Our courteous and efficient staff is on call twenty-four hours a day to serve all your supernatural elimination needs. PETER, RAY, EGON We're ready to believe you! Message flashes on screen: "GHOSTBUSTERS 555-2368". DANA turns off TV. DANA's kitchen DANA lays some groceries out on the table. She turns around. Eggs tremble, leap out of their shells and cook on counter. Growling noise from fridge. DANA opens fridge. The spirit world appears in front of her. A terror dog, ZUUL, jumps out in front of her. ZUUL roaring Zuul! DANA closes fridge, screaming Outside Ghostbusters HQ PETER watches Marty put up a sign, reading "GHOSTBUSTERS" in small type. PETER You don't think it's too subtle, Marty? You don't think people are going to drive down and not see the sign? Marty shakes head. Dark blue hearse drives up. You can't park that here! RAY getting out of car Everybody can relax, I found the car! Needs some suspension work; and shocks, and brakes, brake pads, lining, steering box, transmission, rear end - PETER How much? RAY as PETER groans Only forty-eight hundred. And maybe new rings, also mufflers, a little wiring... Inside Ghostbusters HQ The secretary, JANINE MELNITZ, sits at her desk reading a magazine. PETER comes up. PETER Janine! Any calls? JANINE No. PETER Any messages? JANINE No. PETER Any customers? JANINE No, Dr. Venkman. PETER It's a good job, isn't it? Type something, will you? We're paying you for this stuff!... Don't stare at me, you got them bug eyes... Janine! Sorry about the bug eyes thing. I'll be in my office. PETER goes off. EGON pops up out from under JANINE's desk. JANINE You're very handy. I can tell. I bet you like to read a lot, too. EGON Print is dead. JANINE Oh, that's very fascinating to me. I read a lot myself. Some people think I'm too intellectual, but I think it's a fabulous way to spend your spare time. I also play racquetball. Do you have any hobbies? EGON I collect spores, molds and fungus. DANA enters DANA Hello? goes to JANINE Oh. Excuse me. This, this is the Ghostbusters' office? JANINE filing nails Yes, it is. Can I help you? DANA I don't have an appointment. I'd like to talk to someone, please. PETER bolting out of his office I'm Peter Venkman. May I help you? DANA Well, I don't know. What I'm about to say may sound a little unusual. PETER Oh, that's all we get day in, day out around this place. Come into my office, Miss - DANA Barrett, Dana Barrett. Lab in fire house DANA is hooked up to a machine. As she talks, PETER, RAY and EGON watch a monitor which turns her head different colors. DANA And this voice said "Zuul". And then I slammed the refrigerator door and I left. That was two days ago, and I haven't been back to my apartment. PETER Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance. What do you think it was? DANA Well, if I knew what it was I wouldn't be here. PETER Egon, what do you think? EGON shining a head lamp in PETER's eyes She's telling the truth. At least, she thinks she is. DANA Well, of course I'm telling the truth! Who would make up a story like that? PETER Some are people who just want attention. Others, just nutballs who come in off the street. RAY You know what it could be? Past-life experience intruding on present time. EGON Could be erased memories stored in the collective unconscious. I wouldn't rule out clairvoyance or telepathic contact, either. DANA I'm sorry, I don't believe in any of those things. PETER Well, that's all right. I don't either. But there are some things we do. Standard procedures we carry out in a case like this which often bring us results. RAY Well, I could go down to the hall of records and check out the structural details in the building. Maybe the building itself has a history of psychic turbulence. PETER nodding Right, go do that. EGON I could look for the name Zuul in the usual literature. RAY Spates Catalog. EGON Tobin's Spirit Guide. RAY Yeah. PETER Tell you what. I'll take Miss Barrett back to her apartment and check her out - I'll go check out Miss Barrett's apartment, okay? knows he's said the wrong thing; groans to himself DANA Okay, thank you. DANA's living room PETER and DANA enter. PETER Let me. If something's gonna happen here I want it to happen to me first. Opens a few closet doors. Nothing happens. DANA The closet. PETER goes to the piano. Plays the two highest notes over and over. PETER They hate this. I like to torture them. That's right, boys. It's Dr. Venkman! works a tool A lot of space. Just you? DANA Yes. PETER Good. DANA What is that thing you're doing? PETER It's technical. It's one of our little toys. DANA I see. That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there. PETER What a crime. DANA You know, you don't act like a scientist. PETER They're usually pretty stiff. DANA You're more like a game show host. The words sting PETER. PETER That's the kitchen, huh? DANA's kitchen PETER Dana, are these the eggs? DANA Yes, see, I was over there, and the eggs just jumped right out of their shells and started to cook right on the counter. PETER That is weird. DANA And that's when I to hear that awful noise from the refrigerator. PETER starts using his tool again Dr. Venkman, you've come all this way. Would you like to examine the refrigerator? PETER I'll check the fridge. Good call. Oh, my God! DANA is worried Look at all the junk food! DANA No, God damn it! Look, this wasn't here. PETER You actually eat this stuff? DANA Look! This wasn't here! There was nothing here! There was a space, and there was a building or something with flames coming out of it, and creatures riding around and they were growling and snarling! And there were flames! And I heard a voice say Zuul! It was right here! PETER I'm sorry, I'm just not getting any reading. DANA Well, are you sure you're using that thing correctly? PETER Well, I think so. But I'm sure there are no animals in there. DANA Well, that's great. Either there's a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy. PETER I don't think you're crazy. DANA sarcastically Good, that makes me feel so much better. DANA's living room PETER Let me tell you something about myself. I come home from work to my place and all I have is my work. There's nothing else in my life! DANA Dr. Venkman - PETER I meet you, and I say, my God, there's someone with the same problem I have! DANA Yes. We both have the same problem. You! PETER I'm gonna go for broke. I am madly in love with you. DANA I don't believe this. Will you please leave? PETER to an invisible audience And then she threw me out of her life. She thought I was a creep, she thought I was a geek and she probably wasn't the first... DANA You are so odd... No. PETER turning around I've got it! DANA No, no, no, no, no. PETER I'll prove myself to you! DANA guiding him out That's not necessary. PETER Yeah. I'll solve your little problem. DANA Okay... PETER And then you'll say, "Pete Venkman's a guy who can get things done!" DANA Right. PETER "I wonder what makes him tick!" DANA I wonder! PETER "I wonder if he'd be interested in knowing what makes me tick?" DANA Right! PETER I bet you're going to be thinking about me after I'm gone. DANA I bet I am! Pushes him out the door. He sticks his face back in. PETER No kiss? pushes his face out door and slams it shut Corridor LOUIS comes out, then tries to go back in, but he's locked himself out. PETER leaves. Outside Ghostbusters HQ Night. Inside Ghostbusters HQ; upstairs The Ghostbusters dine on takeout Chinese. Music: In The Name Of Love. PETER To our first customer. RAY To our first and only customer. They toast with soda cans. PETER I got to take out some petty cash. We should take her out to dinner. We don't want to lose her. RAY Uh, this magnificent feast here represents the last of the petty cash. PETER Slow down. Chew your food. By JANINE's desk Phone rings. JANINE Hello, Ghostbusters. Yes, of course they're serious. - You do? You have? No kidding?... Uh-huh. Well, just give me the address. Yes, of course. Oh, they'll be totally discreet. Thank you. hangs up We got one! slams down alarm bell Upstairs RAY It's a call! Music: Cleanin' Up The Town. They slide down the fire pole. Downstairs They slide down the fire pole and suit up. RAY Come on! Outside Ghostbusters HQ Ecto-1 drives off wildly. Outside Sedgewick Hotel Ecto-1 drives up. Close-up on Ghostbusters logo. Lobby of Sedgewick Hotel The Ghostbusters enter. PETER Hey, anybody seen a ghost? A pretty lady goes by. They all stare appreciatively. HOTEL MANAGER Thank you for coming so quickly! The guests are starting to ask questions and I'm running out of excuses. RAY Has it happened before? HOTEL MANAGER Well, most of the original staff knows about the twelfth floor; the disturbances, I mean. But it's been quiet for years! Up until two weeks ago. It was never, ever this bad, though! EGON Did you ever report it to anyone? HOTEL MANAGER Heavens! No! PETER Oh, no. You kidding? HOTEL MANAGER The owners don't even like us to talk about it. I hope we can take care of this. Quietly! Tonight! RAY Yes sir, don't worry. We handle this kind of thing all the time! they go up to an elevator MAN AT ELEVATOR What are you supposed to be, some kind of a cosmonaut? PETER No, we're exterminators. Someone saw a cockroach up on twelve. MAN AT ELEVATOR That's gotta be some cockroach. PETER Bite your head off, man. elevator arrives RAY Going up? MAN AT ELEVATOR I'll take the next one. Elevator RAY You know, it just occurred to me, we haven't had a completely successful test of this equipment. EGON I blame myself. PETER So do I. RAY No sense worrying about it now. PETER Why worry? Each of us is wearing an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back. RAY Yep. Let's get ready. Switch me on! EGON charges RAY's proton pack, then backs away Twelth floor The Ghostbusters exit the elevator. EGON charges his proton pack. RAY Come on. CHAMBERMAID enters. RAY and EGON shout and blast her cart with proton beams. PETER Hold it! CHAMBERMAID What the hell are you doing? EGON Sorry. PETER Sorry. RAY I'm sorry. PETER We thought you were someone else. Successful test. RAY I guess so. I think we'd better split up. EGON Good idea. PETER Yeah, we can do more damage that way. EGON goes down a hallway, with his PKE meter. RAY walks around, smoking. Sees Slimer pigging out at a room service cart. Is shocked. Cigarette falls out of his mouth. RAY Venkman! Venkman! Ugh... disgusting blob! I'm going to have to hold it myself... Charges pack, aims and fires. Startles Slimer. He flies through the wall. Cart smashes a table and a vase. EGON pokes a man to see if he's a ghost. PETER sees Slimer. Talks into walkie-talkie. PETER Come in, Ray. RAY unhooking walkie-talkie Venkman! I saw it! I saw it! I saw it! PETER It's right here, Ray. It's looking at me. RAY voice over walkie-talkie He's an ugly little spud, isn't he? PETER I think he can hear you, Ray. RAY voice over walkie-talkie Don't move. It won't hurt you. Slimer flies towards PETER. PETER screams and covers face. RAY runs to help. Venkman! Venkman! Pete! RAY arrives. Slimer is gone. PETER is dripping in slime. Venkman! What happened? Are you okay? PETER spitting out slime He slimed me. RAY That's great! Actual physical contact! Can you move? EGON voice over walkie-talkie Ray? Ray! Come in please! PETER I feel so funky. RAY Spengler! I'm with Venkman! He got slimed! EGON That's great, Ray! Save some for me! Get down here right away. It just went into a ballroom! Lobby RAY talks to HOTEL MANAGER regarding the bust. RAY Okay, sir. If you and your staff will just wait out here, we'll take care of it. Ballroom The Ghostbusters hide under a table. RAY scans with his ecto-goggles and sees Slimer near a chandilier. RAY There it is, on the ceiling. PETER That's the one that got me. they come out from under table RAY All right, boys. Ready? Throw it! They fire. Slimer flies away. The chandilier falls on a table and smashes. Lobby HOTEL MANAGER is worried. He tries to open door. Finds it locked. Ballroom RAY I did that! I did that! That's my fault! PETER That's okay. The table broke the fall. EGON There's something very important I forgot to tell you. PETER What? EGON Don't cross the streams. PETER Why? EGON It would be bad. PETER I'm fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing. What do you mean, bad? EGON Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. RAY Total protonic reversal. PETER All right, that's bad, okay. Important safety tip, don't cross the streams. Thanks, Egon. All right. Ray, take the left. Egon, take the right. Okay, Ray. Give me one eye on the outside... Ray! RAY fires. Slimer screams and flies away. Egon! EGON fires. Destroys crystal glasses, a layer cake, etc. Slimer flies behind a bar. EGON fires. Keeps firing even after Slimer flies away. Okay, all right, hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Whoa! Nice shooting, Tex! Slimer hides at the ceiling Lobby HOTEL MANAGER I assure you, Mrs. Van Hoffman, there is nothing wrong with the room. It will be ready promptly, in time, as soon as your guests are with us. Ballroom RAY The last throw took something out of him, but he's gonna move! I need some; I need some room to put the trap down. Give me some room. EGON chucks a table Lobby HOTEL MANAGER to MRS. VAN HOFFMAN If you'll excuse me, please. sends a bellhop to get security Ballroom RAY We gotta get this in the clear! PETER Wait, wait! I always wanted to do this. pulls tablecloth out from under table, knocking everything but flowers over And the flowers are still standing! RAY sends out the trap RAY Okay, on my go signal. Spengler, I want a confinement stream from you. Okay? Go! EGON fires and hits Slimer Okay, hold him up there. He's gonna move. Hold him up. Go! PETER fires and hits EGON It's working, Ray! RAY Start bringing him down. Start bringing him down. You got him. Don't cross the streams. PETER Maybe now you'll never slime a guy with a positron collider, huh? EGON Venkman, shorten your stream! I don't want my face burned off! RAY All right. I'm opening the trap now; don't look directly into the trap! opens trap EGON his eyes widening I looked at the trap, Ray. RAY Bring your streams off as soon as I close the trap. Get ready. I'm closing it, now! Closes trap. PETER and EGON stop firing and look away. Slimer is sucked into trap. The Ghostbusters look at it, keeping their guns pointed at it. EGON shoving trap with foot; makes blue lightning It's in there. PETER to Slimer Hey! RAY Well, that wasn't such a chore, now, was it? Lobby A crowd has gathered. HOTEL MANAGER Mr. Smith, quickly. I want that door open now! Stand over there! PETER We came, we saw, we kicked its ass! HOTEL MANAGER Did you see it? What is it? RAY We got it! HOTEL MANAGER What is it? Will there be any more of them? RAY Sir, what you have there is what we refer to as a focused, non-terminal repeating phantasm, or a Class Five full roaming vapor. Real nasty one, too! PETER Now, Let's talk seriously, now. For the entrapment, we're gonna have to ask you for four big ones. Four thousand dollars for that. But we are having a special this week on proton charging and storage of the beast, and that's only going to come to one thousand dollars, fortunately. HOTEL MANAGER Five thousand dollars? I had no idea it would be so much. I won't pay it. PETER Well, that's all right! We can just put it right back in there. RAY We certainly can, Dr. Venkman. HOTEL MANAGER No, no, no, no! All right! I'll pay anything! PETER Thanks so much. RAY Thank you! Hope we can help you again! All right, coming through! Watch out! Class Five full roaming vapor! Watch out! Begin musical montage. Music: Ghostbusters. An apartment A woman does crunches while ROGER GRIMSBY gives the news. ROGER GRIMSBY Good evening, I'm Roger Grimsby. Today the entire eastern seaboard is alive with talk of incidents of paranormal activity. Alleged ghost sightings and related supernatural occurrences have been reported across the entire tri-state area. New York City street JOE FRANKLIN Well, everybody's heard ghost stories around the campfire. Heck, my grandma used to spin yarns about a spectral locomotive that would rocket past the farm where she grew up! But now, as if some unperceived authority... Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom Alarm bell rings. PETER, RAY and EGON run out, still in their sleeping clothes. USA Today wipes to: Street Ecto-1 rushes past. New York Post wipes to: Outside Chinese restaurant A Chinese man gives PETER and RAY some free Peking duck. They bow in thanks. Outside a building RAY wields a trap. RAY Stand aside please! A street Ecto-1 drives up. We hear LARRY KING talking. Time wipes to: LARRY KING's studio LARRY KING Hi, this is Larry King. The phone-in topic today: ghosts and ghostbusting. The controversy builds, more sightings are reported. Some maintain these professional paranormal eliminators in New York are the cause of it all. Rockefeller Center PETER, RAY and EGON run along. Omni wipes to: Outside a building EGON comes out, with a trap. EGON I got it! Pete? Ray! Outside yet another building PETER, RAY and EGON triumphantly exit to a cheering crowd. RAY waves trap. Atlantic Monthly wipes to: A street The Ghostbusters run down, brandishing proton guns. CASEY KASEM talks. His broadcast runs into the next scene. CASEY KASEM Still making headlines all across the country, the Ghostbusters are at it again, this time at the fashionable dance club, The Rose. The boys in gray slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance. This is Casey Kasem! Now on with the countdown. DANA's kitchen DANA listens to CASEY KASEM. Laughs and sips champagne. A building PETER Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week! No job is too big! No fee is too big! Ghostbusters HQ; JANINE's desk JANINE on phone Is it just a mist, or does it have arms and legs? An apartment A woman watches the news as she strings her cello. TV REPORTER to RAY As they say in TV, I'm sure there's one big question on everybody's mind and I imagine you are the man to answer it. How is Elvis? And have you seen him lately? Globe wipes to: Outside Ghostbusters HQ Ecto-1 drives up. Two people ask the tired PETER for autographs. Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom The Ghostbusters sleep. Swirl to dream sequence with dream music. RAY's dream RAY lies in bed. DREAM GHOST hovers above him and vanishes. Then she disappears. An unseen force unbuckles his belt and unzips his pants. His eyes cross and his head knocks back in pleasure overload. Ghostbusters HQ; bedroom RAY falls out of bed. Outside Ghostbusters HQ WINSTON ZEDDEMORE, bearing a newspaper ad, looks up at the Ghostbusters logo sign. Wind down Ghostbusters theme. JANINE's desk JANINE interviews WINSTON over the job. JANINE Do you believe in UFOs, astral projection, mental telepathy, ESP, clairvoyance, spirit photography, telekinetic movement, full trans-mediums, the Loch Ness monster and the theory of Atlantis? WINSTON If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say. A tired PETER and RAY enter. RAY Boy, I've gotta get some sleep. I'm dying. PETER You don't look good. RAY I don't? PETER You've looked better. You didn't used to look like this. to JANINE Here's the paper for the woman out in Brooklyn. She paid with Visa. JANINE Here's tonight's worksheet. RAY Oh, great! Two more free repeaters. JANINE This is Winston Zeddemore. He's here about the job. RAY Beautiful. You're hired. Ray Stantz, Pete Venkman. Congratulations. Can you help me, please? gives WINSTON some traps Welcome aboard! Outside Carnegie Hall DANA and VIOLINIST exit the building. DANA I don't know where they get these guest conductors. Someone should tell him that it's not going to do much good to scream at us in German. VIOLINIST Well, I don't think the man is competent to conduct a major symphony orchestra. DANA sees PETER DANA Um, could you wait here a minute? VIOLINIST Uh, sure. DANA going to PETER Dr. Venkman, this is a surprise. PETER That was a wonderful rehearsal. DANA You heard that? PETER Yes. You're the best one in your row. DANA Oh, thank you. You're good. Most people can't hear me with the whole orchestra playing. PETER Hey, I don't have to take this abuse from you. I've got hundreds of people dying to abuse me. DANA I know. You're a big celebrity now. Do you have some information on my case? PETER indicating VIOLINIST Who's the stiff? DANA The stiff happens to be one of the finest musicians in the world! Now do you have some information for me, please? PETER Sure, but I'd prefer to give it to you in private. DANA Why don't you tell me now? PETER Well, okay. I found the name Zuul for you. The name Zuul refers to a demi-god worshipped around 6000 BC by the - what's that word? DANA Hittites. PETER Hittites, the Mesopotamians and the Sumerians. DANA reading PETER's notes Zuul was the minion of Gozer. What's Gozer? PETER Gozer was very big in Sumeria. Big guy. DANA Well, what's he doing in my icebox? PETER I'm working on that. If we could get together Thursday night, I'm thinking nine-ish, you know, we could exchange information. DANA I can't see you Thursday, I'm busy! PETER Miss Barrett, you seem to think there is something wrong up here in your mind that says: he enjoys taking his evenings off and spending them with his clients. No. I'm making a special exception in your case. Because... I respect you. It's corny but I respect you as artist. And as a dresser, too! This is a magnificent coordination you have going here today. DANA All right. I'll see you Thursday. PETER I'll bring The Roylance Guide and we'll eat and read! DANA and VIOLINIST walk off VIOLINIST So! Who the hell was that? DANA Just a friend. VIOLINIST A friend? DANA An old friend. PETER Right, I'll see you Thursday! I'm sorry I didn't get to meet you, sir! And I'm glad you're feeling much better. You're still very pale, though! A little sun... VIOLINIST What's he do? DANA Oh, he's a scientist. PETER spins around as upbeat music plays Outside Ghostbusters HQ We see the building as the music winds down. Ghostbusters HQ; basement RAY shows WINSTON ecto-containment unit. RAY This is where we put all the vapors and entities and slimers that we trap. Quite simple, really. Load a trap here, open, unlock the system. Insert the trap, release, close, lock the system. Set your entry grid, neutralize your field andÉ the light is green, the trap is clean. The ghost is incarcerated here in a custom-made storage facility. JANINE's desk JANINE There's a man from the EPA here to see you. He's waiting in your office. PETER EPA? What's he want? JANINE I don't know. All I do know is that I've been working two weeks without a break and you promised me you'd hire more help. PETER Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries. You gonna answer that? JANINE I've quit better jobs than this. picks up phone Ghostbusters! What do you want?! PETER's office WALTER PECK stands in wait. PETER Can I help you? PECK I'm Walter Peck. I represent the Environmental Protection Agency, the third district. PETER Great! How's it going down there? slaps PECK on back PECK Are you Peter Venkman? PETER Yes, I'm Dr. Venkman. PECK Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman? PETER Well, I have PhD's in parapsychology and psychology. PECK I see. And now you catch ghosts? PETER Yeah, you could say that. PECK And how many ghosts have you caught, Mr. Venkman? PETER I'm not at liberty to say. PECK And where do you put these ghosts, once you catch them? PETER In a storage facility. PECK And would this storage facility be located on these premises? PETER Yes. PECK And may I see this storage facility? PETER No. PECK And why not, Mr. Venkman? PETER Because you did not use the magic word. PECK What is the magic word, Mr. Venkman? PETER Please! PECK May I please see the storage facility? PETER Why do you want to see the storage facility? PECK Well, because I'm curious. I want to know more about what you do here! Frankly, there have been a lot of wild stories in the media and we want to assess for any possible environmental impact from your operation! For instance, the presence of noxious, possibly hazardous waste chemicals in your basement! Now you either show me what is down there or I come back with a court order. PETER You go get a court order! And I'll sue your ass for wrongful prosecution. PECK You can have it your way, Mr. Venkman. Basement EGON I'm worried, Ray. It's getting crowded in there. And all my recent data points to something big on the horizon. WINSTON What do you mean, big? EGON Well. Let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. According this morning's sample, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long weighing approximately six hundred pounds. RAY coughs violently WINSTON That's a big Twinkie. EGON nods and eats his Twinkie. RAY We could be on the verge of a fourfold crossrip! A PKE surge of incredible, even dangerous proportions! PETER coming down stairs We just had a visit from the Environmental Protection Agency. How's the grid holding up? RAY Not good. WINSTON Tell him about the Twinkie. PETER What about the Twinkie? Ivo Shandor Building Lightning strikes the huge building. The terror dog statues on the roof begin to crumble, revealing the real terror dogs inside. On floor 22 DANA gets off the elevator. She passes LOUIS's apartment. Tries to sneak by quietly, but LOUIS runs out to greet her. Music: Hot Night. LOUIS Oh, Dana, it's you! DANA Hello, Louis. LOUIS You gotta come in here! You're missing a classic party! DANA Yes, well, I would, Louis. But I have a date. LOUIS disappointed You made a date tonight? DANA Well, I'm sorry, Louis. I forgot. LOUIS Well, that's okay. You can bring him along! DANA All right, maybe we'll stop by. Okay? goes into apartment LOUIS That's great, I'll tell everybody you're coming. We're gonna play Twister and we're gonna do some break dancing. Hey, everybody - can't open door; has locked himself out... again Hey, let me in! It's Louis, somebody let me in! DANA's living room DANA starts to change. Phone rings. DANA Hello? Oh, hi Mom. - I've been busy. - No, everything is fine. Just that one time. - I will. - I won't. - Mom, I have to go. I have a date. - Yes. - No, no one you know. It's, um- Well, he's a Ghostbuster. Those guys on TV. - Yes, well, I'll have to let you know. Love to Dad. Right. Bye. - Bye! Hangs up. Growling noise. Oh shit. Claw from her chair grabs her. Another shuts her mouth. She screams and screams. Chair swivels around. Door opens. A terror dog growls at her. Chair rushes out the door. Ivo Shandor Building; roof Terror dog statues are crumbled. LOUIS's apartment Music: Disco Inferno. WOMAN AT PARTY Do you have any Excedrin or Extra Strength Tylenol? LOUIS Gee, I think all I got is this cedacelacytic acid. Generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of the name brand. Makes good financial sense. Good advice. Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound. It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though. I'm giving this whole thing as a promotional expense. That's why I invited clients instead of friends. You having a good time, Marv? How ya doing? Why don't you have some of the Brie? It's at room temperature! You think it's too warm in here for the Brie? TALL WOMAN AT PARTY Louis, I'm going home. LOUIS Oh, don't leave yet. Listen, maybe if we start dancing, other people will join in. TALL WOMAN AT PARTY Okay! They dance. Doorbell rings. LOUIS Oh, don't move. I just gotta get the door. opens door to reveal TED FLEMING and ANNETTE FLEMING Ted! Annette! Hi! How you doing? Give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming. Ted has a small carpet-cleaning business in receivership, and that's drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago. They've got fifteen thousand left on the house at 8%; so they're okay! throws coats into closet on top of a terror dog So, does anybody want to play Parcheesi? growling Okay! Who brought the dog? Terror dog jumps out. Party guests scream. TALL WOMAN AT PARTY jumps out window. LOUIS runs away. Corridor Terror dog smashes through door. LOUIS runs into elevator. LOUIS'S NEIGHBOR leaves her apartment. Sees terror dog, yells and runs back in. Outside Ivo Shandor Building LOUIS running Help! There's a bear loose in my apartment! Help, help! Help! jumps over a wall DOORMAN A bear in his apartment? terror dog runs out, knocks DOORMAN over and jumps over wall Tavern-on-the-Green LOUIS runs. LOUIS I'm going to bring this up at the next tenant's meeting. There's not supposed to be any pets in the building. bangs on windows There's gotta be in a way in. Somebody let me in! keeps screaming, then turns to face terror dog Nice doggie. Cute little pooch. Maybe I got a Milk-Bone... Terror dog growls. LOUIS screams. Restaurant guests are quiet for a couple of seconds, then resume normal conversation. Outside Ivo Shandor Building PETER What happened? POLICE CAPTAIN Some moron brought a cougar to a party and it went berserk. PETER to DOORMAN Hi, I'm going up to Dana Barrett's. DOORMAN shows him in Floor 22 Police question partygoers about LOUIS. PARTY GUESTS T, u, l, l, y. No! He ran out! PETER knocks on DANA's door. PETER Hello? DANA has become ZUUL. Eerie music plays. She has wild hair and a bright orange dress. That's a different look for you, isn't it? DANA Are you the Keymaster? PETER Not that I know of. She slams door in his face. He knocks again. DANA Are you the Keymaster? PETER Yes. Inside DANA's apartment PETER I'm a friend of his. He told me to meet him here. I didn't get your name. DANA I am Zuul. I am the Gatekeeper. PETER What are we doing today, Zuul? DANA We must prepare for the coming of Gozer. PETER Gozer, huh? DANA The Destructor. PETER Are we still going out? You know, you could pick up the place if you're expecting someone. DANA flops on bed, writhing up and down Do you want this body? PETER Is this a trick question? I guess the roses worked, huh. DANA Take me now, subcreature. PETER We never talk any more. DANA grabs him and pulls him down I make it a rule never to get involved with possessed people. Actually, it's more of a guideline than a rule. she rolls them over DANA I want you inside me. PETER Go ahead! No, I can't, sounds like you've already got at least two people in there already. breaks free Might a little crowded. Now, why don't you quit trying to upset and disturb Dr. Venkman and just relax. Lie down there, relax. Put your hands on your chest. Yes. What I'd like to do is talk to Dana. I wanna talk to Dana. Dana? It's Peter. DANA There is no Dana. There is only Zuul. PETER Whoa, Zuulie you nut. Now come on. Come on. I want to talk to Dana. Dana, Dana. Relax, come on. Dana, Dana. Can I talk to Dana? DANA smiles a vicious smile. The voice of ZUUL eminates from her. ZUUL There is no Dana, only Zuul! PETER What a lovely singing voice you must have. Now I'm going to count to three, Zuulie, and if I don't get to hear Dana, there's going to be some real trouble in this apartment, I think. One! Two! DANA's eyes flutter and turn white Two and a half! The voice of ZUUL screams. DANA rises above the bed. Please come down. ZUUL roars Central Park LOUIS has become Vinz Clortho. He runs around talking to himself. LOUIS I am the Keymaster! The Destructor will come, the Traveler! The Destroyer! Gatekeeper! approaches a horse on a wagon I am Vinz. Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer, Volguus Zildrohar, Lord of the Sebouillia. Are you the Gatekeeper? COACHMAN Hey, he pulls the wagon, I make the deals. You wanna ride? LOUIS's eyes flare red. He talks to the horse again. LOUIS Wait for the sign, and our prisoners will be released. running away You will perish in flame! Soon as I find the Gatekeeper! COACHMAN What an asshole. Outside Ghostbusters HQ POLICE CAPTAIN knocks on door. JANINE answers. JANINE Dropping off or picking up? POLICE CAPTAIN Dropping off. JANINE Just a moment. EGON comes out with JANINE POLICE CAPTAIN You a Ghostbuster? EGON Yes. POLICE CAPTAIN We picked up this guy, now we don't know what to do with him. Bellevue doesn't want him and I'm afraid to put him in the lock-up. And I know you guys are into this stuff, so I figured we'd check with you. EGON All right. LOUIS is in the van in a straight jacket. LOUIS Are you the Gatekeeper? EGON runs a PKE meter over LOUIS and watches the readings climb EGON You'd better bring him inside. JANINE You are so kind to take care of that poor man. You know, you're a real humanitarian. EGON I don't think he's human. Ghostbusters HQ lab EGON What'd you say your name was? LOUIS Vinz Clortho, Keymaster of Gozer. JANINE looking at LOUIS's wallet Well, according to this, his name's Louis Tully. Lives on Central Park West. Do you want some coffee, Mr. Tully? LOUIS Do I? EGON Yes, have some. LOUIS Yes, have some. EGON Vinz, you said before you were waiting for a sign. What sign are you waiting for? LOUIS Gozer the Traveler! He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the Rectification of the Vuldronaii, the Traveler came as a large and moving Torb! Then, during the Third Reconciliation of the Last of the Meketrex Supplicants, they chose a new form for him, that of a giant Sloar! Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of a Sloar that day, I can tell you! JANINE Egon? EGON going to JANINE, talking to LOUIS Excuse me. JANINE There's something very strange about that man... LOUIS is sniffing a jar of popcorn Listen, I'm usually very psychic, and I'm have a terrible feeling that something awful is going to happen to you. I'm afraid you're going to die. EGON holds JANINE in his arms. Phone rings. LOUIS jumps. EGON I'll get it! Picks up. LOUIS drags the rest of the phone over to him. Hello? Thanks, I've got it. DANA's apartment PETER Egon, it's Peter. I have some news from the world of Gozer. EGON over phone What is it, Peter? PETER I'm here with Dana Barrett. It seems that the Goz' has been putting some moves on my would-be girlfriend! EGON How is she? PETER I think we can get her a guest shot on Wild Kingdom. I just whacked her up with about 300 cc's of thorozine. She's going to take a little nap now. She says she's the Gatekeeper, does that make any sense to you? Ghostbusters HQ EGON Some. I've just met the Keymaster. He's here with me now. PETER over phone Oh, wonderful, we have to get these two together. LOUIS takes a slice of pizza, sniffs it and sticks it on his cheek EGON I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous. PETER Okay, well, hold on to him. I'll be over there in a little while. EGON Good. LOUIS takes phone from EGON. Thank you, Vinz. to JANINE We have to find Ray. I need him here immediately. DANA's apartment DANA lies on her bed, asleep. PETER Bad news, honey. I gotta go to work. Hey, will you stay here in bed until I get back? kisses her Brooklyn Bridge Ecto-1 drives across the bridge. WINSTON drives. RAY is studying blueprints. WINSTON Hey, Ray, do you believe in God? RAY Never met him. WINSTON Yeah, well I do. And I love Jesus's style, you know. RAY ... this roof cap is made of a magnesium-tungsten alloy... WINSTON What are you so involved in there? RAY These are the blueprints for the structural ironwork for Dana's apartment building, and they're very, very strange. WINSTON Hey, Ray. Do you remember something in the Bible about the last days, when the dead would rise from the grave? RAY I remember Revelation 7:12. And I looked, as he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake, and the sun became as black as sackcloth. And the moon became as blood. WINSTON And the seas boiled and the skies fell. RAY Judgment Day. WINSTON Judgment Day. RAY Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world. WINSTON Myth? Ray, has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason we've been so busy lately is because the dead have been rising from the grave? long pause RAY shivering How about a little music? WINSTON Yeah. Ecto-1 drives onward. Outside Ghostbusters HQ Police cars drive up. A man gives PECK a manila folder. Inside Ghostbusters HQ PECK enters, with POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN. PECK This way. JANINE Excuse me. Excuse me! Just where do you think you're going? PECK Stand aside, miss, or I'll have you arrested for interfering with a police - JANINE Oh no, hold on! I've seen TV, I know you can't come in here without a writ or warrant or something! PECK brandishing manila folder Cease and desist all commerce order, seizure of premises and chattels, ban on use of public utilities for unauthorized waste handlers, and a federal entry and inspection order. he continues on Basement EGON Vinz, there's one more test I'd like to perform - JANINE runs down. PECK, POLICE CAPTAIN and CON EDISON MAN follow. JANINE Egon, I tried to stop them! He says they have a warrant. EGON Excuse me, this is private property! PECK pointing out ecto-containment unit Shut this off. Shut these all off. EGON I'm warning you, turning off these machines would be extremely hazardous. PECK I'll tell you what's hazardous. You're facing federal prosecution for at least half a dozen environmental violations. Now either you shut these beams off or we shut them off for you. Outside Ghostbusters HQ A taxi drops PETER off. Ghostbusters HQ; basement EGON Try to understand. This is a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city. PECK Don't patronize me! I'm not grotesquely stupid like the people you bilk! PETER coming down stairs At ease, officer. I'm Peter Venkman. I think there's just been a slight misunderstanding and I wanna to cooperate in any way that I can. PECK Forget it, Venkman! You had your chance to cooperate, but you thought it'd be more fun to insult me. Well, now it is my turn, wise ass. EGON He wants to shut down the protection grid, Peter. PETER You shut that thing down and we are not going to be held responsible for whatever happens. PECK On the contrary! You're going to be held responsible. PETER No! We won't be held responsible! PECK Shut it off! PETER Don't shut it off. I'm warning you. CON EDISON MAN I - I've never seen anything like this before. PECK I'm not interested in your opinion, just shut it off. PETER stopping CON EDISON MAN My friend, don't be a jerk. POLICE CAPTAIN Step aside! PECK If he does that again, you can shoot him. POLICE CAPTAIN You do your job, pencil neck! Don't tell me how to do mine! PETER Thank you, officer. PECK Shut it off! PETER starts up stairs. EGON makes an explosion with his fingers in POLICE CAPTAIN's face, mouthing "Boom". CON ED MAN pulls red lever. Alarms goes off. Lights flash. DANA's apartment DANA trembles. Ghostbusters HQ; basement Walls tremble. Bricks pop out. Everyone starts running. CON EDISON MAN Oh shit. Ghostbusters HQ; entrance Everyone runs like hell. EGON Clear the building! Outside Ghostbusters HQ LOUIS runs out. The door of the fire house is smoking. The roof explodes. DANA's apartment DANA is jolted awake. Outside Ghostbusters HQ Explosion. Pink strams of psychokinetic energy zap out. Crowd gathers. LOUIS This is it! This is the sign! walks away JANINE Yeah, it's a sign all right; we're going out of business. Ecto-1 drives up. Police start to arrive. RAY What happened? EGON The storage facilities blew. He shut off the protection grid. RAY Oh, great. WINSTON That's bad, isn't it? RAY Yeah. PETER Where's the Keymaster? EGON Shit! RAY Who's the Keymaster? EGON Come on! The Ghoustbusters run. PECK and some police stop them. PECK Hold it! I want this man arrested. Captain, these men are in criminal violation of the Environmental Protection Act, and this explosion is a direct result of it! EGON Your mother - They fight. Police try to keep order. The ghosts keep pouring out of the fire house roof. Music: Magic. New York City The pink streams fly over the city. DANA's apartment DANA goes to her window, grinning. Outside subway tunnel LOUIS passes. Papers fly around. A blue creature rises up out of tunnel. By taxi Pink smoke enters a taxi's exhaust. BUSINESSMAN IN CAB enters. BUSINESSMAN IN CAB Columbia Building, 53rd street, and I'm in a hurry, so let's not dawdle. Driver is a zombie. Drives at breakneck speed, making a U-turn. Other cars swerve. Street LOUIS walks down street, gazing upwards. Hot dog cart Slimer is inside, pigging out. DANA's apartment Bolts of pink light fly up, past her window. Another street LOUIS walks down, gazing upwards. DANA's apartment Her wall explodes. Street Pigeons fly from LOUIS. Remnants of DANA's apartment She stares out, her hair blowing in the wind. Jail WINSTON Hey, guard! I want to make a phone call! I just work with these guys! I wasn't even there! RAY and EGON look over blueprints EGON The structure of this roof cap is exactly like the kind of telemetry tracker that NASA uses to identify dead pulsars in deep space. RAY Cold riveted girders with cores of pure selenium. PETER to other jailbirds Everyone getting this so far? So what? I guess they just don't make them like they used to. RAY No! Nobody ever made them like this! The architect was either a certified genius or an aesthetic wacko! PETER Ray, for a moment, pretend that I don't know anything about metallurgy, engineering or physics and just tell me what the hell is going on. RAY You never studied. The whole building is a huge super-conductive antenna that was designed and built expressly for the purpose of pulling in and concentrating spiritual turbulence. Your girlfriend, Pete, lives in the corner penthouse of Spook Central. PETER She's not my girlfriend. I find her interesting because she's a client and because she sleeps above her covers. Four feet above her covers! She barks, she drools, she claws... EGON It's not the girl, Peter, it's the building! Something terrible is about the enter our world and this building is obviously the door. The architect's name was Ivo Shandor. I found it in Tobin's Spirit Guide. He was also a doctor. Performed a lot of unnecessary surgery. And then in 1920 he founded a secret society. PETER Let me guess. Gozer worshippers. EGON Right. PETER No studying! EGON After the First World War, Shandor decided that society was too sick to survive. And he wasn't alone. he had close to a thousand followers when he died. They conducted rituals up on the roof, bizarre rituals intended to bring about the end of the world, and now it looks like it may actually happen! PETER singing So be good, for goodness sake! Whoa! Somebody's coming! Somebody's coming! RAY We have to get out of here. We've gotta get a judge or something. WINSTON Hey! Hey! Hold it! Now we going to actually going to go before a federal judge and say that some moldy old Babylonian god is going to drop in on Central Park West and start tearing up the city? RAY Sumerian, not Babylonian. PETER Yeah, big difference! WINSTON No offense, guys, but I gotta get my own lawyer. JAIL GUARD Okay, Ghostbusters! The mayor wants to see you guys. The whole island's going crazy! Let's go. PETER to other jailbirds I gotta split. The mayor wants to rap with me about some things. Outside Ivo Shandor Building LOUIS walks by. Shocked. Looks up to the top. Remnants of DANA's apartment LOUIS I am the Keymaster! DANA I am the Gatekeeper. they kiss, then go up the stairs to the Temple of Zuul Outside City Hall Police escort Ghostbusters to the MAYOR. Reporters and photographers try to get press. Music: Savin' The Day. POLICE CAPTAIN Stay back! Stay back! Inside MAYOR's office MAYOR I got a city blowing up, and you guys are not giving me any answers! POLICE COMMISIONER All right. We're blocking the bridges, the roads. I mean - MAYOR'S AIDE The Ghostbusters are here, Mr. Mayor. MAYOR The Ghostbusters, all right, the Ghostbusters. Hey, where's this Peck? PECK I am Walter Peck, sir, and I'm prepared to make a full report. These men are consummate snowball artists! They use sensitive nerve gases to induce hallucinations. People think they're seeing ghosts! And they call these bozos, who conveniently show up to deal with the problem with a fake electronic light show! RAY Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here. PECK They caused an explosion! MAYOR Is this true? PETER Yes, it's true. This man has no dick. PECK lunges at PETER. Police try to break up fight. POLICE SERGEANT Break it up, break it up! PETER Well, that's what I heard! MAYOR This is City Hall! Now what am I gonna do here, John? What is this? FIRE COMMISIONER All I know is: that was no light show we saw this morning. I've seen every kind of combustion known to man, but this beats the hell out of me. POLICE COMMISIONER The walls in the 53rd precinct were bleeding. How do you explain that? ARCHBISHOP entering Good afternoon, gentlemen. MAYOR Oh... Your Eminence! kisses ARCHBISHOP's ring ARCHBISHOP How are you, Lenny? MAYOR You're looking good, Mike. gives ARCHBISHOP a friendly slap We're in a real fix, here. What do you think I should do? ARCHBISHOP Lenny, officially, the Church will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. Personally, Lenny, I think it's a sign from God. But don't quote me on that. MAYOR I think that's a smart move, Mike. But I'm not gonna call a press conference and tell everyone to start praying. WINSTON I'm Winston Zeddemore, Your Honor. Look, I've only been with the company for a couple of weeks. But I gotta tell you, these things are real. Since I joined these men, I've seen shit that'll turn you white! PETER Well, you could believe Mr. Pecker. PECK My name is Peck! PETER Or you could accept the fact that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. MAYOR What do you mean, biblical? RAY What he means is Old Testament biblical, Mr. Mayor. Real wrath-of-God-type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling! EGON Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes! Volcanoes! WINSTON The dead rising from the grave! PETER Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria! MAYOR Enough! I get the point! What if you're wrong? PETER If I'm wrong, nothing happens! We go to jail. Peacefully, quietly. We'll enjoy it! But if I'm right, and we can stop this thing; Lenny, you will have saved the lives of millions of registered voters. MAYOR smiles. ARCHBISHOP nods. PECK all the wind sucked out of his sails I don't believe you're seriously considering listening to these men. PETER smiles a smug smile. MAYOR Get him out of here. PETER waving Bye. PECK I'll fix you, Venkman. I'm gonna fix you! PETER I am going to send you a nice fruit basket. I'm gonna miss him! PECK All right, all right! MAYOR You've got work to do. Now what do you need from me? The streets of New York Music: Savin' The Day. The streets are clear, but the sidewalks are jammed with people waving signs and cheering. Military and police personnel yell things. The Ghostbusters wait in Ecto-1 with their police escort. PETER Come on, let's run some red lights! The cars start moving. Outside Ivo Shandor Building Dark clouds gather atop the building, shrouding the Temple of Zuul. The police escort drives up. The Ghostbusters get out and suit up. The crowd cheers. PETER Hello, New York! Well, hi, everyone! raises RAY's hand high Dr. Ray Stantz! Would you please? The heart of the Ghostbusters! Thank you. They love you. They love you here! walks down the sidewalk, shaking and kissing hands I like that shirt, pal! Gotta run. Got a date with a ghost! All right, whatever happens, let's be professionals. The Ghostbusters assemble in front of the building, looking up at the darkness above. Lightning strikes the building. RAY We might have to put a little overtime in on this one! Earthquake! A water main breaks. People fall and scream. A pit opens below the Ghostbusters. They fall in. So does the front end of a police car. The earthquake suddenly stops. The crowd comes to its feet. PEOPLE IN CROWD Are you all right? Ghostbusters? Are they all right? A dazed RAY pops out of the hole There they are! the others climb out of the hole Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! Ghostbusters! PETER We're all right, it's all right, we can take it! You gotta learn to play rough! You wanna play rough? RAY Yeah! WINSTON Let's go! Music: Savin' The Day. They grab hands, pushing down, then up, and go into building Ivo Shandor Building; many flights of stairs They groan as they climb the stairs. PETER Where are we? RAY Oh, it looks like we're in the teens somewhere. PETER Well, when we get to twenty, tell me. I'm gonna throw up. Temple of Zuul DANA and LOUIS stand on terror dog pedestals. Lightning shoots between them and the gates to the spirit world. The gates open up. Floor 22 RAY Twenty-two. Is this it? PETER Yeah. EGON Art Deco. Very nice. RAY Where is it? PETER It's at the end of the hall. Remnants of DANA's apartment RAY points out the stairs to the Temple of Zuul. RAY Hey, where do these stairs go? PETER They go up. He's about to go upstairs. Lightning goes off. He pushes his friends on. Okay. Go ahead. Come on, go ahead. Come on. Go ahead! Temple of Zuul The Ghostbusters arrive. Lightning strikes DANA and LOUIS. PETER Dana! DANA and LOUIS turn into terror dogs Okay. That's all. She's a dog. The Ghostbusters line up in front of the temple. GOZER emerges from the temple. RAY It's a girl. GOZER pets the terror dogs EGON It's Gozer. WINSTON I thought Gozer was a man. EGON It's whatever it wants to be. PETER Well, whatever it is, it's gotta get by us! RAY Right! PETER Go get her, Ray! RAY steps up RAY Gozer the Gozerian! Good evening! As a duly designated representative of the state, county and city of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension! PETER That ought to do it. Thanks very much, Ray. GOZER Are you a god? PETER nods "yes" to RAY RAY No. GOZER reaching its arms back into the temple Then... die! Fires lightning at the Ghostbusters. They sail across the temple, clinging to the edge of the building. Outside Ivo Shandor Building Crowd screams. Temple of Zuul WINSTON Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say, "Yes!" RAY nods PETER All right. This chick is toast! they march up to the temple Got your stick? PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON unhooking proton guns Holding! PETER Heat 'em up! PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON charging guns Smoking! PETER Make 'em hard! PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON Ready! PETER Let's show this prehistoric bitch how we do things downtown. Strike! They blast GOZER. It yowls and flips across the temple. Nimble little minx, isn't she? Aim for the flat top! They blast again. GOZER vanishes. Well! That wasn't so hard. RAY We neutralized it! You know what that means? A complete particle reversal! WINSTON Hey, we have the tools, we have the talent! PETER It's Miller time! EGON looking at PKE meter Ray? This looks extraordinarily bad. Earthquake at the temple. Rocks fall. Look out! Outside Ivo Shandor Building Rocks fall. Crowd screams. Temple of Zuul Voice of GOZER sounds. GOZER Subcreatures! Gozer the Gozerian, Gozer the Destructor, Volguus Zildrohar, the Traveler, has come! Choose and perish! RAY What do you mean, choose? We don't understand! GOZER Choose! Choose the form of the Destructor! PETER Whoa! I get it, I get it. Very cute! Whatever we think of - if we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will appear and destroy us, okay? So empty your heads. Empty your heads. Don't think of anything. We've only got one shot at this. GOZER The choice is made! The Traveler has come! PETER Whoa! Whoa! Nobody choosed anything! Did you choose anything? EGON No! PETER Did you? WINSTON My mind's totally blank! PETER I didn't choose anything! PETER, EGON and WINSTON stare at RAY RAY trembling I couldn't help it. It just popped in there! PETER What? What just popped in there? RAY I - I tried to think - stomping and screaming from below EGON Look! RAY No! It can't be! WINSTON What is it? RAY It can't be! WINSTON What did you do, Ray? RAY It can't be! WINSTON Aw, shit! RAY solemnly It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Outside Shandor Building Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man stomps cars as people run and scream in terror. Temple of Zuul PETER Well, there's something you don't see every day. RAY I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never, ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay-Puft... PETER Nice thinking, Ray. RAY We used to roast Stay-Puft marshmallows, by the fire at Camp Waconda! PETER Ray has gone bye-bye, Egon. What have you got left? EGON Sorry, Venkman. I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought. Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man growls at them. WINSTON Oh, no. PETER Mother pus-bucket! Outside Shandor Building PECK keeps his distance from the marshmallow man. It stomps on a church. Temple of Zuul PETER Nobody steps on a church in my town! RAY One, two, three! Roast him! They blast Mr. Stay-Puft. It puts him on fire which soars up to them. He climbs up the side of the building. PETER Whoa... they run and hide RAY Funny, us going out like this. Killed by a hundred-foot marshmallow man. PETER We've been going about this all wrong! This Mr. Stay-Puft isn't so bad. He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble! marshmallow man continues scaling up the side of building EGON I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways. We could reverse the particle flow through the gate. PETER How? EGON We'll cross the streams. PETER Excuse me, Egon, you said crossing the streams was bad. RAY Cross the streams... PETER You're gonna endanger us, you're gonna endanger our client. The nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog. EGON Not necessarily. There's definitely a very slim chance we'll survive. PETER giving RAY a friendly slap I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it. Let's do it! WINSTON This job is definitely not worth eleven-five a year! they run to the temple just as Mr. Stay-Puft lifts his head up EGON Hurry! PETER See you on the other side, Ray. fires RAY Nice working with you, Dr. Venkman. Fires. They cross the streams. Let's turn 'em on, Spengler! EGON and WINSTON fire Cross 'em now, Spengler! Mr. Stay-Puft sees what's going on. He screams. The four proton beams combine to make one big one, blasting right into the temple. The gates swing shut. PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON shouting randomly Aggh! Oh, no! Help! It's gonna blow! Let's get out of here! They stop firing and run away. The Temple of Zuul explodes. Mr. Stay-Puft does as well. Outside Ivo Shandor Building Marshmallow spatters all over. PECK looks up just in time to see a big glob splatter on him. He yells and curses at the sky. Remnants of Temple of Zuul Marshmallow all over everything, including RAY and WINSTON. RAY Oh... oh... Winston? Are you all right? WINSTON Yeah, yeah. they laugh RAY Venkman? Spengler? Venkman? Spengler? EGON, covered in marshmallow, enters Oh, Spengler, are you okay? EGON I feel like the floor of a taxi cab. PETER enters. He has very little marshmallow on him. RAY Venkie! PETER Yeah. I'm all right. RAY Thank God. You okay? EGON I'm all right. RAY You all right? PETER I'm all right. RAY You okay? PETER Fine... Walks away. Comes across remnants of terror dog statue. RAY Oh. Smells like barbecued dog hair. Oh... Venkman. Oh, Venkman, I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I... I just forgot. PETER walks away sadly. Then part of the statue breaks off. A hand reaches out. DANA Mm... RAY Look! The Ghostbusters break open the statue, and PETER lifts DANA out. LOUIS, with a terror dog statue head on his head, walks around helplessly. LOUIS Somebody turn on the lights! Help! Somebody turn on the lights! PETER Go check on that little guy! RAY, EGON and WINSTON go to help them. They remove the terror dog head. LOUIS What happened? DANA coming to Oh... oh... oh... where am I? opens eyes, sees PETER Oh... hi... EGON regarding LOUIS He'll be all right. LOUIS Boy, the superintendent's gonna be pissed. RAY Are you okay? LOUIS Who are you guys? RAY We're the Ghostbusters. LOUIS Who does your taxes? PETER leads DANA away. RAY, EGON and LOUIS start to walk off. RAY You know, Mr. Tully, you are a most fortunate individual! LOUIS I know. RAY You have been a participant in the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909! LOUIS Felt great! EGON We'd like to get a sample of your brain tissue. LOUIS Okay. WINSTON throwing up hands and cheering I love this town! Outside Ivo Shandor Building Music: Ghostbusters. The crowd cheers for the Ghostbusters. PETER gives DANA a long kiss on the lips. RAY takes a puff on a cigarette as he waves. PETER escorts DANA into Ecto-1. EGON leaves building. JANINE runs into his arms. JANINE Egon! They kiss. He pats her cheeks. LOUIS comes out, waving. LOUIS What's going on? Does anyone wanna interview me? I'm an eyewitness. I was up there! Red Cross employees take him off, but LOUIS protests. I wanna go with them, in the car. WINSTON puts his proton pack away. The Ghostbusters get into Ecto-1 and the crowd parts to let them through. As Ecto-1 drives off, the crowd chases after it. Slimer flies above the crowd, screaming, and flies into the camera. Fade to black. Final credits roll. The End

[moviemumbojumbo]

17 Ridiculous Sequels That We're Totally Gonna Go See

This is unbelievable, but actually pretty believable, because them Hollywooders be like "money! money! money!"  Some of these are more ridiculous than others, some you might already know about, and some will blow your mind, or as us bloggers like to say "it will change your life forever." 

1. Beetlejuice 2

It's very early in Beetlejuice 2 development, but apparently it's a thing, and apparently it's going to involve Michael Keaton and Tim Burton. Hmmmm. Tim Burton isn't exactly on a hot streak. Michael Keaton OWNS the Beetlejuice character and will no doubt nail it again. But I mean, I saw him nail it already, sooo this is ridiculous, and yes, I will go see it.

2. Ghostbusters 3

Well we've been hearing about this for like, years. No one has been really that excited about it, and unfortunately one of the most important contributors to Ghostbusters, Harold Ramis, has passed away. Bill Murray doesn't want to be in it. Ivan Reitman is producing but not directing. HOWEVER we are now reading that Paul Feig is signed on to direct it and it will star an all-female ghostbusters team. Hey, that's kind of exciting, especially considering the chicks that Paul Feig has worked with. Please put Annie Potts in it! Please please put Annie Potts in it! She can be the secretary again! Please!

3. Dumb and Dumber To:

I was actually kind of really excited about Dumb and Dumber To, once again staring Jeff Daniels and Jim Carrey, but after seeing the trailer, EYE ROLL. If the best jokes are in the trailer, then we don't have much to look forward to in this movie. Dumb and Dumber wasn't exactly a high brow comedy, but at least the jokes made sense in some sort of dumb guy universe. Many people are going to see it. I'll rent it. This November, Dumb just got Dumber. (I thought of that line)

4. Bill & Ted 3

Jesus Christ. How does this even work? Are Keanu Reeves and that other dude going to pretend to be idiot teenagers? Maybe the movie will just start in the "future" where these stupid unfunny teenagers are stuck as middle-aged men. It's a good thing the plot involved time travel! Phew! Were the first two Bill & Ted movies any good in the first place? I don't actually remember because it was TWENTY FUCKING YEARS AGO. Anyway, Keanu Reeves says there's a script. Bogus.

5. Beverly Hills Cop 4

This is full on happening, Eddie Murphy is involved, and it's being filmed in Detroit. This seems stupid, but for some reason, I don't hate this idea. I have not seen the second and third films, so maybe I'm just being naive. Were the sequels funny? Is Eddie Murphy still awesome? 

6. Blade Runner 2

Well, this is based on a book, so fine. But I don't understand why they waited so long. A lot has happened to Harrison Ford since the first movie. Most recently, Expendables 3 happened to Harrison Ford. Nevertheless, Ridley Scott is set to direct and Ford is set to star. The script is apparently written, and there's a website. When Blade Runner came out, there were no websites.

7. Dodgeball 2

It will star Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn. The news I am finding is over a year old, so I guess that means the project is getting dragged out a bit or whatever. I don't know. 

8. The Goonies 2

WHAAAAAAAAT? WHAATTT? This one blows my mind the most. I should put it at the bottom or the top of this list but then I would have to renumber everything, so fuck that. Just know it's the most ridiculous. I can't even imagine what in god's name this movie will be like. I can't even start to guess. I do not know. The original director Richard Donner is somehow still alive and he's into it.  According to news, it's been "in the works" for quite a long time. Here's Josh Brolin celebrating the Goonies THIRTIETH anniversary and fielding a question about the sequel.

9. Independence Day 2

I mean, OK. Whatever. There's no Will Smith but there is Bill Pullman and Jeff Goldblum. According to Screenrant, it's coming out on July 4, 2015. Clever. 

Screenrant:

 The sequel will pick up in real-time, some twenty years after the first movie. However, co-writers Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich (the latter is returning to direct) have revealed that ID4-2 takes place in an alternate present-day reality, where humanity has spent the last two decades harvesting the alien technology featured in the first movie.

There's already a second sequel. They are calling it ID Forever Part 1 & Part 2, which is kind of confusing. And also very ambitious, especially with no Fresh Prince. This isn't the Hunger Games, so good luck with that. Who am I kidding, this will make shit tons of money....Ok, I'm actually very bored writing about this.

10. Jurassic World

News says it's directed by Colin Trevorrow, whose breakout project was Safety Not Gauranteed, so he's an indie guy. Maybe two dinosaurs will fall in love and listen to the shins together! Jurassic World stars Chris Pratt and Judy Greer. 

11. Rambo 5

Sylvester says he's started to train for it. According to Screenrant, he's going to battle a Mexican drug cartel threat, which sounds like a totally new and original idea to me. 

12. Rounders 2

Something about a card game in Paris. Matt Damon's in, and my guess is that his poker-addicted character will go to Paris for one last job before he retires. Harvey Weinstein is producing it after some boring Hollywood Miramax business split-off merger or whatever who cares.

13. Magic Mike XXL

Of course this movie's release will be a Movie Mumbo Jumbo main event showdown. The E! news says that production just started! Everyone wag yo dicks around at each other in celebration because this is happening! It's being shot as we speak! Soderbergh is pushing it forward, and he didn't wait until Channing Tatum was 72 to do it. Soderbergh is not directing, but is doing all of the other important jobs (DP, editor, cameraman). AND AND AND the best news of all is that it will be a straight up stripper movie unlike the first. It's a sequel so they plan to "swing for the fences" according to Tatum. Tatum also said that the whole movie is a bunch of shiny dudes, wildly swinging their dicks all over the place including on fences, at a stripper convention. Or something like that.

14. Taken 3

Bryan Mills, played by Liam Neesom, has really bad luck. And I don't know why people keep messing with him. He has a special set of skills. Haven't they learned that yet? Here's the proof of this movie.

15. Zoolander 2

This is majorly TBD. I've been waiting for this for years. And thank goodness Ben Stiller is in awesome shape and STILL totally looks like a hot young supermodel. Ben Stiller produced, directed, and co-wrote the first one, and according to news he would be writing the new script with Justin Theroux, who will be directing it. Lady Gaga was said to be offered a role at one point. But in most recent news, it seems as though Stiller is too busy to do it right now. He's a hollywood big shot, and I want to see Zoolander 2!

16. Clerks III 

Kevin Smith was clearly stoned when he tweeted this. However, he wrote the script and it was going to get made by the Weinsteins until they saw that it would cost 6 million bones (not very much money for them). But Kevin Smith tweeted this summer that it will still be made. I wouldn't know what to expect from this sequel, but I would hope that it wouldn't be very shiny and blockbuster looking, just like the old ones. The 6 million dollar budget tells me that might be true. 

Honorable Mention:

Three more ridiculous sequels that we are definitely NOT going to go see but deserve a mention are  Shakespeare in Love 2 Horrible Bosses 2 Men in Black 4

What the!?